Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 63: Matt Rife is CANCELLED… again - Ep. 63

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

On this episode of the Cancelled podcast it's all about that bass, we are joined by the lovely Meghan Trainor and Chris Olsen. We cover a range of topics from motherhood, to love lives, to meeting Kris Jenner and releasing her upcoming song with Jimmy Fallon. Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code TANA at https://Manscaped.com Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW and use code CANCELLED. New players can deposit FIVE DOLLARS or more and get a match of UP TO FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN CASINO CREDITS. That’s code CANCELLED, only on DraftKings Casino Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A To listen to the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Like, they're my favorite episodes. So excited. They're their favorite episodes too. Yeah. We have to discuss that. I know we have before, but... No, we have a million times. They're so overhearing it from us. People just hate the guests usually you know no it's hard because it's like i love having guests like it's fun to have a podcast and you're like oh my god i could have this cool guest on my podcast yeah but then everyone and then everyone's like i hate you yeah um brooke hit me up today and she said what if for the podcast today we did crazy hat day and a crazy

hat she chose okay i found this in the middle of my foyer like and that just sounds i swear to god i just found it and i was like i walked downstairs and i couldn't find a hat because i kept putting on fuzzy bucket hats like yours but i looked like i had like a weird fuzzy condom on my head and then i saw this and i was like that's a crazy hat that's a crazy hat for sure and i'm in the mood to stir the pot okay you know what i literally did booty for biden though it's like who are you trying to fool? It's called versatility. I've always said that. I love the hat theme.

We should start having themes. I think crazy hat day is a good start. Let us know in the comments below if there's any other themes. Next one we should dress as each other. Down as fuck. I would just look so normal and you would look insane. Which is good. Happy Thanksgiving.

Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving to you. I'm thankful for you girl pop oh my god i'm so thankful for you how was your going to vegas so amazing i fucking love las vegas and i fucking love being from there but it's also so life-ruining being from there and the traditions are just like insane you know it's really crazy i just see you guys at zed every night i'm like insane. It is really crazy. I just see you guys at Zedd every night. I'm like, oh, wow. That's really different than what my hometown is doing. Yeah, like going to Zedd after Thanksgiving

being a tradition is so mind-blowing to me. But it was good. I brought Makoa home to Vegas. You sure did. He's with us right now, everybody. Yeah, he's in our audience right now. Live studio audience. Which is making me nervous, but I'm trying to get past it what was that what did everybody think they love him

they love him actually so much it's like concerning like i don't think i could bring anyone else home makoa randomly had like family in vegas as well because they call vegas the ninth island of hawaii like so many hawaiian people moved to to Vegas really yeah it's like a real thing and so he went home on Thanksgiving to like see his cousins and shit and while he was gone my dad was making a speech and like had a like little sector about Makoa on Thanksgiving I was like oh no I'm fucked from here on out yeah I'm fucked from here on out and you know how they are like Debbie and Arash like they hate everyone And they never forget a thing. Ever. So.

Love that about them. It is good. But yeah, it was really good. We went home. I have a couple fun random anecdotes from Vegas to tell you. So I was just telling you about like weird traditions, right? And it's been a tradition for as long as I can remember to go to this bar the night before Thanksgiving and the night of Thanksgiving Blackout Wednesday yes it's called Parkway and there's two parkways right there's one like in Henderson by like my house where I grew up so I feel like I've heard you talk about

it before yeah it's it's like a catalyst of my life like it it's really a thing and so everyone goes to Parkway and it's like you have this whole high school reunion right but there's one by my house for like the schools I went to in Henderson, like five of them. And there's one on the other side of town where it's like Ari's school and like the rich schools and like different schools, you know? And so everyone goes to like their Parkway for their like sectors, you know what I mean? And you just get drunk as fuck and you have a high school reunion. You walk in and you see everyone ever that you've known and loved and like hated. Do you feel so **** at your high school reunion?

I guess kinda. But like I always was just like i don't feel like i've changed a lot like my interaction no i don't think either and that's what i love going home with you because it's just like you can tell everything is just exactly the same but i feel like that is like going to high school with you would be like damn yeah it is it's definitely like a weird the way things have transpired but i my close high school friends like i have the same relationship with that i always have you know so when i see them they're like how the fuck are you really like you want a fucking shot i don't want to fucking like yeah they don't want to talk about the podcast and shit but this year there weirdly was like way more random people at the parkway than there normally is like normally it's just like high school reunion and i'll take a few photos but there was like a moment we had we had a vidcon moment by accident

for a second which i guess was so i'm like seeing like an ex of mine from high school across the room like I'm sorry that's my favorite thing like because oh my god just having anyone like who maybe like doubted you or anything like see it is like it's a good really really good I've honestly gotten most of the apologies from people who have like doubted me now so I'm in like a good place like now when I see the doubters I'm like we're friends we're good everything's good oh my god but remind me I have a story about that so i'm in like a good place like now when i see the doubters i'm like we're friends we're good everything's good oh my god remind me i have a story about that so i'm in the middle of like meeting all of these fans in the middle of parkway like with my high school friends and whatever and this girl comes up to me right and she looks identical i'm talking

doppelganger shit to a girl that i was best friends with like growing up in high school granted we were best friends in a really turbulent time of my life so maybe you are the remembrance might be a bit hazy but she also looks like every other bitch like blonde highlights like you just know how you know what i'm saying like very much so clean girl and she comes up to me and i think it's her her name's brie rankis brie rankis if you're watching this shout out i think it's brie rankis and this girl comes up to me and i hug her and i'm like oh my god it's so good to see you i'm like the shit we've been through is crazy whatever and i noticed that her four friends she's with all like take out their phones like while i'm hugging her and in my head i'm like wait uh-oh brie brankus would never do

this her friends would never do this whatever and i pull away from the hug and like now this is all on camera you know what i mean i'm like oh my god that's not brie brankus like she just looks like her you know what i mean but i'm too far deep in like the no yeah you have to commit to the bit completely she forgot you i commit to the bit the entire night like all night this i'm pretending that i was high school best friends with this fucking fan 100 gaslight her be like wait you don't remember yeah she was like the last time i saw you was that like life is beautiful like she definitely like the real girl definitely just came up to me like at life is beautiful and said hi and that was like where we met and I'm like oh my god we were on Molly amazing memory and you really connected to her at life is beautiful she followed me around

all night and I pretended like we were high school best friends all night like I introduced her to everyone like and it it wasn't her name was Maddie i found out like no okay slay maddie honestly a little role she was like i don't have your new number i gave her my number like we're texting love to see it honestly i've done that like 100 where i like completely just like don't understand who i'm talking to or someone will come up to me and i feel so horrible i just like simply don't remember someone came up to me the other day and i like it was somebody i'd worked with 12 years ago and they're like do you remember my name yeah she says do you remember me i go i always say yes they'll be like someone will be like do you remember me and i'm like i actually did as soon as she like gave me

she like i realized she's my friend's sister and we didn't even like work we worked so far away from each other i would have never really even seen her but just really like i'm like how do you expect i can't i'm horrible with i just have horrible memory as is like i do that in la all the time so then hometown someone like i'm like i know your face but like you're asking me if i know your name i don't know your name 15 years later did i probably like smoke weed in a back alley with you like 10 years ago absolutely but do i know your name no you know so yeah then we just like stayed in vegas did the vegas of it all i gained i was in vegas for how many days were you there babe like five i gained 10 pounds in five days and that means you had a really wonderful time and there's nothing wrong with that okay i'm not gonna jump or anything stop weighing yourself

why would you weigh yourself right after Thanksgiving? That's a cardinal sin. Because I just wanted to know and I thought it was going to be like six pounds. You know what I mean? And then it was ten. Six pounds is one big dinner. Six pounds is like a baby. Yeah, exactly. Ten?

Ten's crazy. I told Debra that. I was like, I have to leave. It's probably a combination of so many things. You got your new extensions in. You had a bombshell on. My nipple ring ring probably like five ounces I was wearing socks when I weighed myself a whole thing that could be no I told Debra that I was

like you're gonna have to roll me out of this house if I stay any longer like I love you so much but it's like we literally were joking today calling it like Debbie's diner like I'll roll downstairs it is crazy I rolled downstairs the other day and she's like what do you want and I was like can I have a breakfast sandwich with bacon potatoes and scrambled eggs and cheese and can you make it on like toasted bread and do all this and i was like trying to help her she was like sit the fuck down made us these fat ass breakfast sandwiches i guarantee that was two of the pounds vacation i'm coming next year the food is so good i wanted you to come i know but i had so much fun on my little things yeah how was it it was so good I went back home I went to my grandparents and like honestly I every year I go to like I do obviously my

thanksgiving and then I'll go to like my like closest friends thanksgivings too but this year I went to I like just started getting close again with a friend that I literally did not speak to all of high school all of college like she had a boyfriend I hated we like grew apart but like she was my middle school best friend okay but her parents were like is she the one where you guys were like messaging the guys long distance on myspace no okay but funny you remember that um but she yeah so she and I were like so close literally in like seventh and eighth grade and then didn't talk for all this time. And like going back, I'm literally I sit down with her family and it's exactly everything

is the same. And it's so cute. Like her family is just so funny and so fun. Her little brother who was six the last time I saw him is 19. That's crazy. Nine. You're like, he's hot. Kidding.

He's a really cute kid. But I did. I did run into one of my oh my god wait should i say this who cares i was like one of my other friends had a little brother who she's like he's like two years younger than us ran into him he is so hot i was like oh no did you hook up with him back in the day no he has a girlfriend do you get me he's a fan of the canceled podcast shout out did you get any hometown did you get any hometown you get any hometown dick no everyone was being crazy my hometown is just not the place for that anymore i like i saw a lot of people i knew but people

i didn't ever want to see again to be honest everyone was wilding out i came home obviously taken but everyone else watching their um shenanigans and antics were a little wild ashley and ivan make me laugh so hard every single year are they did they hook up i don't know i never know you're better than this i never know if they hook up it's and it's so weird because ivan for everyone who doesn't know is ashley's ex boyfriend he's also he's my best friend and they started dating because i like moved all my best friends into the house and it was me ivan maya and ashley and then you have just all these hot people under one roof and it's like someone's gonna date each other yeah and so then they ended up dating he moved to california with us and like

i've known ivan forever and we're like the same person but with that being said we're the same person so yeah their relationship and it's so funny because they're not getting back together and we're all just best friends like and we always have friends giving at ivan's house like in vegas like two nights before thanksgiving and every year without fail, something transpires between Ashley and Ivan, you know? Well, yeah, it's so much pressure. She's making the turkey. He's hosting. Yeah, and it just, exactly.

And so I don't remember how it all started. They like get in a little like tiff over something, over people like not respecting his house or whatever. But I'm like you're having a party that's not on ashley like you know what i mean whole thing i noticed that he's already pissed so i steal his hairbrush not you stirring the pot mccall was looking at me being like what happened you were like is this my brush or someone was like no that's ivan's you said perfect and then just like i was like i'll check up this suitcase and then someone's like that's ivan's like perfect so You said perfect. And then just like, I was like, oh, should I put this in your suitcase? And then someone was like, that's Ivan's.

You're like, perfect. So essentially, I willingly stole Ivan's hairbrush. He texts Ashley the next day like, Kenna stole my hairbrush. You guys have no respect. Whatever. They start going back and forth. I think she ended up hooking up with one of his friends, honestly, as the trip started. As she should.

Last year when they were fighting, every time they fight, they block each other. And they have a shared costco grocery list note and they start and it'll be like butter eggs kill yourself and they send it back and forth i think so many horrible things happen i don't even know if ashley wants to do it but watching the antics of that every year without fail is the funniest thing ever like what's gonna happen you know i will say one of like the most fun things about going home is like having that one ex that's just like it wasn't supposed to work and everything was horrible but you get to see him and like a little drama I love it it's so fun it is I missed mine this year seriously where was he I don't know with like his girlfriend or something seriously

so I spent a lot of my time gambling as well and my last two trips of Vegas I have left so financially up like tripled my money i thought you were gonna say you lost money no no and i've made back a lot that i've lost on other trips are you still doing the three card poker that's like what i realized that i have to stop doing other things like sit at that poker table till you make your money back just commit to one thing because when you start going awol and i lose that blackjack every time and like roulette's fun but you kind of just stay there even it's like i, I know what I'm good at. I should sit here. And I did that this trip. So I left up and I've been saying, you were talking about this today, like having a new fun hobby

is like fun, you know? Oh, you don't even want to know what hobbies I have these days. Just wait for it. You're about to become a figure skater, I think, right? Yeah. But keep going on your gambling because I have a whole a whole bit. Two kinds of people. My hobby is about to be poker and hers is figure skating. We gambled all night. We played poker. Ashley and I did a spicy website live. I don't even want to tell you what transpired in that live. I think we fucked.

But we wake up the next morning and we're in the car ride home. And we've been talking about weird coincidences. So this is why I want to bring this one up really quick. And I was like, I really want to actually make poker more more of my hobby like I'm always getting invited to poker tournaments and I never go and like there's so many in LA and like it's so fun and I was like Blake Wynn text me who's like the son of the of Steve Wynn um will text me like once every six months and be like I'm having a poker tournament tonight come and I was like telling Ashley like Blake Wynn always invites me and I never go like we should go yeah you got to go at least once so you don't

lose the invite. Exactly. And so in that moment, as I'm telling Ashley that, I get a text from Blake Wynn, who hasn't texted me in six months, being like, I'm having a poker tournament tomorrow night. Come. And I'm like, that's so weird that I just said this in the car. And now he's texting me right now in this minute, you know. And I start going back and forth with him.

And I'm like, I want to come, but who's going? And he was like, oh, Bryce Hall's going. Like, I don't know if you want to go you know and I was like oh I don't really care like it's all in good fun like if I take his money I guess that's a win right hilarious like whatever and he was like yeah come and then was just like making sending me gifts of Bryce and shit like making jokes and being like come and then I get home to my house and I'm about to leave for the airport and Debra is randomly asking me about Bryce Hall she's like what happened like whatever and I'm like I'm rolling my tank tops to go to the airport I can't deal with this right now like that go ask Amari in an hour like I don't

know and so we're talking about that for a second right and we're on our way to the jet suite airport and I'm telling Makoa in the car I'm like it's it's a flight of like 25 people like you often see people you know or like celebrities you like like i was telling you about the time that like damon wayans was just like sitting next to me on one like it's just like love whatever and we put in our boarding passes and we're standing in the hangar like about to go to the jet and i'm standing there talking to makoa bryce hall walks past me. Oh, no. How funny is he for this? And I hate to admit it.

I hate... He's a funny guy. It actually pains me. Looks at me and Makoa and just goes, hey, guys. I just walked off the plane. Hey, guys. Hey, guys is crazy.

After everything that has happened over the last year. Hey, guys. Kind of friendly. Hey, guys. Hey, guys. That's like when... That's like you got bangs oh my god it's just like you got this never once in my life never once in my life have i like like i'm you know me i'm always like there with a quick witty response

or like i'm gonna be sad you were just i swear to god my jaw just drops i look he goes hey guys i just go jaw dropped the entire flight. Love it so much. Four seats ahead of me. I was honestly maybe you guys are good. Maybe, you know, I mean, I don't forgive him personally. Hey, guys. Do you forgive him now?

Hey, guys. Me saying this in a Trump hat. I'm going to hate these clips. Hey, guys, is crazy. Hey, guys. So while there's a poker tournament tonight that he's in i might go but i wish i knew how to play poker you have to teach me that's that's gonna be one of my um one-off hobbies i would love to teach you

i don't know what came over me recently but i realized like i'm an adult and there's so many things i don't know how to do most things me ride a bike, drive a car. You, figure skate. Hilarious. But I have like, I mean, I can do these things. You know what I mean? Like, so why would I not take like a mounted archery class? No one's stopping you from becoming I, Tonya. At all.

I want to take figure skating lesson. Mountain archery is crazy. I'll do that with you. I like, it's's just there's so many things that you can do and it's like why would you not imagine like i was just amazing at everything i will take an archery class with you please keep running these by me because there's ones i will do and i'm excited and we could make it me and amari are doing adult gymnastics count me out i've got i'm lined up with um figure skating i'm lined up with and i'm pretty confident that i can sing like a broadway star seriously i have to show you something i was trying to show you this before we started and you were like no you

have to talk about it in the podcast i don't know that it's a book looks me dead in the eyes before we start shooting and she's like i'm gonna become a broadway singer i don't stop talking i found i found a woman who i know can help me she can can teach me. And I was practicing all night last night. And I was like, I think I'm slaying. Seriously. Imagine me in my apartment. Murphy's like, what is going on? It's the delusional confidence that this podcast gives us where we're like, I can do anything.

No, I can't. I'm spilling. Okay. So the concept is like all these kids are in like Broadway class. Okay. A Broadway star workshop, if you will. And I swear to God, if you take a cheeseburger out of your bag mid-sentence while you say this, I'll actually have to jump off. I'm not going to.

And this lady, she just helps them. And, you know, she like, you just have to see it. Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro?

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TreadExperts.ca Send it to Erin. I know, but I want you to watch it and then can we insert it later? Let the storm return. Let the storm return let the storm return so you're going ah i'm like ah ah ah like you're going to the doctor ah ah let the storm return let the storm return let the storm return

no and then she started playing you missed the part where she actually played I heard I heard that and that happens every time she just walks them through it and then all of a sudden they literally sound like fucking I know I'm gonna be like in your house like looking through your earrings and hear you doing that in the living room like soon

100% I'm so inspired i said the new hunger games rachel zell zegler rachel zegler zelger the most talented she's the girl who's getting canceled because she was like doing all the interviews with snow white and she was like i fucking hate this movie i haven't seen the new hunger games i don't know i heard olivia rodrigo song for the new hunger games amazing so amazing but rachel zegler she was like this little girl she was making youtube videos singing okay are you that uninterested you're like no no i'm just an alcoholic she was like i always watched her little covers on youtube she like covered shallow by lady and she's not a ziegler no okay

she's just like a little broadway girl but she has never she was just singing online on youtube okay one day she emails a submission like to a random email address for Steven Spielberg's West Side Story and she books it. Okay. She's the lead. Her first movie she has never so much has been an extra in a movie. She is the lead in Steven Spielberg's West Side Story. Obviously she does that.

She does so amazing. She's perfect. Gets cast as Snow White in the live action Snow White. Okay. Third movie, Hunger Games. What the fuck? But. Do you believe that things like that are an industry plan or do you think luck like that?

Well, no, she's the most, if you heard, like she is the most talented person literally in the world. But I mean, I'm sure there are a lot of people who are talented who don't get the opportunities, but it was, it's just everything. But she's she can't my girl cannot slay an interview okay they'll be like they'll be like what what made you want to do this movie and she'll be like i don't know i just wanted a fucking job i honestly i respect people that never go through pr training and like don't give a fuck too well people were

just canceling her so bad and it's actually really sad because it's like she really was just being like quirky and funny like same way like jennifer lawrence would do jacob alorti just said the exact same like literally word for word same thing about his elvis role that she did about snow white nobody said a word but like they literally crucified her she was like if you search her name on youtube it's just like videos of her with like devil horns drawn on and like it's so sad and she is so amazing see the new hunger games was phenomenal. Today where people were like coming at Taylor Swift so hard online, essentially because like she released the Heiress Tour movie and it's $20 to rent or whatever. And everyone's like, she's just greedy, blah, blah, blah.

And Hannah Burnham did this whole post about like how if a man sold his anything for $20 for rent online, no one would ever say that. And it is just like a double standard. That's just how it goes. But sometimes men get canceled. Ooh. And that's what keeps us going, baby. This one's scary.

Okay. Can I spearhead the start of this conversation? Sure. Like I could be not getting canceled for months and then i'll just get dragged into something that i didn't take part in that i had no idea like you know what i mean like that i wasn't like scheming to be a part of a cancellation here's the headline i read today new clip of matt rife appearance on tana mojo and brooke scofield podcast canceled resurfaces

why is that a headline it does not need to be a headline i want no part in this why does our name come before his like why like let him like do like you know i've been seeing it all go down okay and almost every single video that i see there's at least one clip of us yeah and it like it's I'm like whoa can I be honest with you though after we shot that podcast I remember looking at you like a week after it went live and I was like damn I thought a lot more of that would be like heavily clipped in regards to the way it's being heavily clipped now like and it kind of just went under the radar and we like moved on things always do that you know when they're like just like no one picks up on it for a while and then all of a sudden i will say the one that's going extremely viral is one of my favorite lines that i've ever um contributed

you slayed that i mean that was hilarious well be genuinely everyone hates you because they're jealous everyone hates anyone they hate because they're jealous like i saw a top comment on one of those going viral and the girl was like i hate my dad i'm pretty sure i'm not jealous of him like yeah just say that all hatred derives from jealousy is a crazy crazy yeah kind of so i had to ask people who hate osama bin laden are jealous of him you know i just wanted to know probably not thank god i took the trump hat off because that's getting clipped um although yeah i don't know i have always really enjoyed tiktoks clips podcasts anything of psychoanalyzation of people and the pendulum swings both ways because at the same time i hate to see when people psychoanalyze me online and it's so incorrect or it's correct as fuck i

think that's what bothers me is like when it's happening to me like that episode for example like the matt rife episode i couldn't i never was able to rewatch it i couldn't read the comments because they were so horrible about me about me being like a pick me and saying all these things about my personality that like literally aren't true i couldn't read them yeah and it's so frustrating to read and what's crazy is now it's like surfacing and all of the hate is like to matt and the comments are is now it's like surfacing and all of the hate is like to matt and the comments are like brooke new in the moment brooke is like brooke completely new yeah but i'm like but at the time it's just perception like people can perceive things however they want and then they can make a fucking video that goes so viral and it makes

good points but it doesn't mean it's accurate and i again i'm terrified but that's always what i say the pendulum swings you're that's always what i say the pendulum swings you're that's a perfect example the comments were horrible to you on that episode and now all the comments are the comments are like brooke brooke was yeah yeah and that's again why you can't base your worth in that and he'll be just fine so it's just it's but it's you know crazy he will be just fine a doctor on tiktok which i'm assuming the doctor was just like grabbing for views i don't think he actually gave plastic surgery to Matt Rife but he made a TikTok like when your client got a new jaw

line but now he's getting canceled like whatever hilarious to jump on the train I mean not hilarious but like I get jumping on the train and just being like this is an opportunity for views absolutely well we're all grinding here everyone wants to be like Dr. Miami like and you know all these plastic surgeons want to like yeah get those views like that so i'm assuming that's all that was but the lawsuit that would have gone down if he were actually the one you know what i mean like yeah matt rife commented on his tiktok and was like lying about like medical shit is illegal blah blah blah and all the comments back to matt rife were like so now who can take a joke one thing about matt rife is he is going to fight with somebody in a comment section and i get it yeah i do it and i have to

stop myself from doing it because it's like it is it's so hard because i always look back on it i'm like why the fuck did you say that that's so embarrassing but in the moment it's like it's so hard to see people like but i you you never once have had your brand be like i'm not gonna fight with you in a comment section you know like like the way you are on this podcast the way you are in life you give i'm gonna fight with you in a comment 100 like he's online saying like i don't give a fuck about what anyone says about me and then you're fighting in a comment section it's like the negating what you directly want your brand to be i think is what's hurting it is kind of hard to have this whole thing about like you know know, it's all a joke.

It's all a joke. Yeah. And then I would just love to see him double down and I guess joke on this. You know what I mean? He is. Did you see his, um, yeah.

Story. Yeah. What were your thoughts? The helmets. Um, I thought that was exactly what he should do. Like if you want to be a controversial comedian and make jokes that people are going to hate,

then continue to double down when they hate them. To be honest, he said it on our episode you never ever apologize for a joke okay because once you do it once it's first of all you're like admitting fault where there wasn't any necessarily like if you really truly were joking it's a joke yeah whether or not people thought it was funny is up in the air yeah but like and there's obviously so much to be said about building a female fan base who you might have some disdain for because they might like you for the reasons that you don't want to be liked for so then making jokes against women because of the disdain that you have for that so on and so forth i don't i've watched too many psychoanalyses yeah you have you have but i i

just want to say if anybody wants to give me a platform to make fucking $25 million in a year because of what I look like, I would love it. And I would never complain even one time. Seriously. Yeah. Mine's linked below. I'm just kidding. I don't know.

I don't like it's so confusing to me because I see some of this stuff. I'm like, well, shit. Like Matt Rife has been nothing but nice to me ever you know so i'm not gonna like sit here and like like i'm gonna crack jokes at anyone same with colleen and the ukulele same with everything this is called the canceled podcast if somebody's getting canceled we're talking about it every single time and that's my point like i'm just i'm weighing in on it and funny shit is always going to be funny to me no matter what even when i've been getting canceled like you'll send me a tiktok and you'll be like this is fucking hilarious like yeah to be able to laugh at the way that the internet pendulum swings and the shit that

people say i think is the only way to really keep your sanity it is there is also a difference between the people who are joking about it and the people who are like literally trying to ruin his life which does like not like that comes with fame and that 25 million dollar check yeah it's i guess you're right it's kind of a fair trade-off it's just i hate it unless somebody truly has done something like really fucking horrible i really don't like to see someone get canceled ironically the title of matt rife's episode is matt rife on why he will never be canceled but to be fair there's still some validity to that because if it doesn't affect him and he continues to keep making his jokes then he never will be canceled and i respect

that more than anything be a cockroach that's i think he listen the guy's been doing comedy for like 15 years he's gonna just keep at it he's doing just fine there are millions of people who are still gonna love matt rife no matter what yeah go fuck off to a beach for a month and turn your phone off and for sure with your 25 million dollars honestly i'm coming yeah real real and i don't think he i don't know yeah he's fine it's helping the episode though you look at matt rife canceled it's like the first thing that's popped oh shit i didn't even think about that like every time we have someone on and then if they get canceled they'll search their name like matt rife canceled do you know what i mean like they're just looking up his

cancellation but because he was on canceled our episode is like i don't know if you've seen the joe rogan theovan clip where he's like talking about like monster energy and he's like that makes you want to beat your uh like beat your way for something like a domestic violence joke also just goes to show like it really just does depend on your demographic and the way you've garnered it because theovan fans are mostly men and people like you know people just want like are already ready you know what i mean like yeah like no one wants to cancel theovon he could fucking kill someone and everyone would be like that person deserved to die and i'd be one of them honestly um matt rife yeah out of here those are

our thoughts ever that i tweeted today i was like what do you want us to talk about on canceled i didn't get one response other than matt rife so i guess those are our thoughts and we've said this a lot i don't want to like pull back on what like we've always said is that like i don't want comedians to ever be able to get canceled for jokes because they're jokes i agree fully yeah yeah me next week apologizing not agreeing fully kidding it's. It's a scary world. Seriously. Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound?

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Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca My Apple Music wrapped is wrong. We're always there. Dread experts. That's the day. My Apple Music wrapped is wrong. Why don't you go ahead and tell the audience what your five most listened to songs were in 2023? And I just want to say I know like my year. Do you know what I mean?

I know I spent way more time listening to Stick Season by Noah Kahn than any of these songs. I know I spent way more time listening to Never Say Never by The Fray than any of these songs i know i spent way more time listening like 2012 that's that doesn't matter it's one of my favorite songs um my number one song according to apple music is a tiktok song a tiktok punk rock song by an underground like tiktok punk rock artist called sls by rose a great song i know it's not my number one most listened to so yeah that always happens to me where i'm like that can't be right vampire by olivia rodrigo which that's real after the mod center i couldn't stop 100 real probably for me too blood sucker fame fucker bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire but it also says 160 plays i know i had 160 plays like one day with you you know yeah so it's like i know

is that your primary like apple music is your thing yeah i think spotify i like white screens i think it must like cut off bffr i think it must cut off at like a certain month i agree because this is giving the first like eight months of my year i don't know when i look at you by miley cyrus another one that literally came out in 2012 um but i know that one's when i was at lele's wedding in miami i was just playing it with jeff 24 7 at one point he was like turn that fucking song off like you stop when i look at you great song elevated heartbreak by jayden hostler but that's not number four you know what i mean you know can i you hate that song because the i hate that song oh wait okay i don't hate that song jayden i love you seriously but i have you know when you have like one line in a song that like ruins the whole song for you yeah i have like a

madison beer song that i love so much but she says put my heart in the hospital and it ruins the whole song for me because i'm like why would you put your heart in the hospital seriously in in jayden's song he says like now i'm stuck and sitting in the driveway something something like blah blah and then he goes and now i'm crying in the driveway like he said he rhymes driveway with driveway and it makes me so angry we were on our way to a show in new haven connecticut and we had a sprinter and it was just me, you, Chris and Paige. And you stood up in the sprinter to give a speech on why that lyrically makes you unhappy. Because I was playing it.

It was so much potential. And why? Like, there were so many other things to say. And my number five is Dancing All Alone by Clinton Kane. Your horrible ex-boyfriend who I literally like, I'm I don't. It's not my number five. I will tell you what is most offensive about that. It's one of his worst.

One of his worst. I couldn't agree more. Like it's a fucking trash song. Like go to hell by him. Like, OK. Like, I guess I'm in love by him. Like, OK. Yeah.

Chicken tendies by him. OK. Dancing. I just know what's wrong. And McCowen just came out kind of, too. So I'm like, wait a minute. McCowen and I were in this conversation today just came out kind of too so i'm like wait a minute mccoy and i were in this conversation today though where he was talking about how like is drake on so many

people's top artists wrapped even when it's like not their top song because there's like pr behind it not that there's pr behind maybe maybe like the forbes do you think they're like buying into people spotify wrapped and shit we should talk about that really quickly you can buy a spot on the forbes 30 under 30 list well i mean that shows you belong there to be honest money talks i what i particularly like about forbes 30 under 30 is that there's fucking 200 people on it well and isn't it supposed to they're supposed to be 30 people under 30 and don't get me wrong congratulations to everyone on it even though half of them I want to be on it so bad please like I've gotten the offer to like buy

into shit like that like if we wanted to we could so dumb I'd be all over that shit and then I would I would do the classic like oh my god I'm so shocked that's that's my whole timeline right now everyone's so shocked i love it people like what the fuck and haven't you noticed that half of the people on it all have the same agent makes sense yeah i mean i guess that's just another thing like how people buy maxim magazine covers how people buy whatever the forbes of it all it's all part of the game but the thing is you still have to qualify it's not like you can just buy a spot and like you they audit it they do yeah but if you have the right connection that can talk to the auditor

like they're like think about how much money tricia paytas probably made this year like if you really even just how much money the canceled podcast made like over if it was like a real list like it would just be such a different list they do like doubles do you think we could have been on there together like squeeze into one little headshot? I wish we were. That would be fun. That's probably the only way I would ever be able to do it. Seriously. That's not true.

Speaking of Trisha Paytas. Trisha's pregnant. Trisha's pregnant. She's having Elvis. So the day that I got Brooke her car. Yeah, wait. Maybe we should talk about that. I feel like that's like a really big topic though.

Is it? Yes. Okay. I just want to clarify. Yeah. No, I don't even need to clarify. Go go ahead tana bought me a car for my birthday i this is gonna be the most out of touch sentence ever but buying someone a car is the most stressful thing ever like i was so happy to just get it to you i just that like that's the fucking craziest thing I am because I literally we it's so funny

like I'd been planning to get you the car for so long and Ari Aguirre is a real one for this like he helped me for months like seed to you like what you'd exactly want like you wouldn't even know like 100 but it's because I was truly like I was really wanting to buy it so I was looking into all of them and I was talking to him about it so actively and i really i swear to god this was like the first like time i've really had no idea about something but even in the final hours of getting it i was like does she want a soft top or a hard top we were debating between two like he was still just seeding it into you for so long and it's so funny because like birthday gate happened everyone's like oh my god she doesn't care and i'm like i'm literally i'm doing everything to show her that i care like you know what i mean

birthday gate was satisfying as fuck real i'm just kidding but after like you know the the stress of trying to do it and keep it a secret from you was so hard and you're always asking like someone else for it you're like joking to someone else like buy me a bronco buy me a bronco like literally the night before it happened we were all at dinner and this guy called me and he's like a guy with a lot of money and he's just like a friend of ours and i like joked to him i was literally like what are you gonna get me for my birthday i want a green bronco i'm grabbing mikoa's leg under the table swear to god looking at mikoa being like if this billionaire buys her a bronco right now after all of my peril i'll literally actually jump off a cliff i told him after and he goes oh so should i return mine

first of all literally thank you so much you know like i've been sobbing about it for so i sent you another picture the other day i literally drove i'm not kidding i drove around for probably six hours the other day just sobbing and i have like a thing bb knows i have like a specific drive that i do like all the time okay since since i moved here i'll drive all the way up sunset all the way up benedict canyon and then down and i like it's specific because it means it like feels magical because you have all the billboards it feels like very la yeah and like that's where i like sit and think like what do i want my life to look like and i do it always like literally since i was since i moved here don't make me cry right now

no but something about chills and you're like two seconds from making me cry no i'm not kidding i do it all the time i'll sob but i was driving in my little new car and i was like i was so worried too because your reactions are like one of like five you know oh you cried stop i always sob and i was so scared you were gonna be like what the fuck return this like fuck you i'm not accepting this i wanted to but honestly and i was having ari like seed to you as well just like oh my god what if someone got you a big gift like how would you react like randomly like months ago but i you know what's funny is i told every

friend because i had a feeling that you were gonna get me a big gift and i told ari i told bb i told everybody if if she thinks about it don't let her oh i didn't think about it at all i was trying to swipe from day one it was just finding that bronco is actually so hard like i made page dedicate her life like they're they're well that's what's crazy it's like i also i'm just gonna tell you the truth you were like i want a bronco i was like perfect that's a ford it's gonna be so cheap i thought it was a thirty thousand dollar car it's a hundred and twenty thousand dollars holy shit oh my god when they told me it after taxes i damn near passed out and i was like wow i gotta get her the bronco but just the 90 000 difference in what i anticipated was hilarious to me like because ford don't tell me that no no no but like

think about a ford focus no a bronco is like a a bronco can climb a tree like you would not believe you would not believe what this car can do i took it to the ranch this weekend for my birthday it was it's like lit it can do everything brooke's gonna be up a tree soon and i'm terrified we're gonna be in the car me and you be pissed no i'm not kidding when i went home it's actually so sweet because my dad and my grandpa were like so excited about it and they like we sat for hours and watched every youtube video on every single little detail of the car it was so cute and my grandpa ordered it was so cute he ordered me like a little dash cam i'm gonna cry well i love you and i love that you love your car i love it so much but the point of what i was saying i was never gonna go into the car but we had just gotten you

the car and by we i literally mean me um we're in the car and you just finished crying and i turned to you and i'm like brooke you'll never believe this and it's trisha's second baby announcement and you just started sobbing again and i was like oh my god there it comes i'm so happy for her i'm so happy for trishy i'm sad at her because she knew when i saw her last and she didn't i know she kept it from everyone she kept it from us but I get it it makes me like feel so like it's so sweet because like we really talked about how she wanted to have a second baby

and how much we wanted to have one how she didn't think she could I'm so happy for her and now she's gonna name it little Elvis what she said on the cancelled pod do you think if it's a girl she'll name it Elvis she said boy or girl it's Elvis I saw someone say Presley yeah all these comments are saying name it like priscilla presley

pettis or something like if i don't know if i like priscilla i love presley i love boy names for girls presley feels like a boy name but malibu and elvis does keep the like iconic nature you know what i mean yeah presley i'd be so pissed if like my name was like johnny cash and my sister was like stephanie yeah or i guess it would have been the opposite yeah but that is i'm so excited i do what in may i'm so fucking happy for her it's crazy and i sobbed my eyes out her telling oscar did you see it no i didn't she told him on the podcast she literally she's just saying all that she's halfway through the episode first of all i don't know how she was like good on her for being able to keep it a secret so long i could never if someone even made one comment i'd be like okay

fine i'm pregnant literally but me right now she's it was on their thanksgiving episode and she says like oh she's just naming things she's grateful for she talks about moses and malibu and then she goes and she's talking about oscar and she's like I'm grateful for you and she goes you're so good with Malibu and you're gonna be such a good like little uncle to our second baby and he just starts crying it's so sweet stop do you think one day we're gonna tell each other we're pregnant on this podcast yeah do you want me to tell you on the podcast or do you want me to tell you in real life should i tell you now yeah kidding but like also not like where is it stop smiling you like want to be ffr um what was i gonna say i lost my train of thought because miko is so cute yeah i guess but she found but she didn't know yet she found out in october

it's funny because i've been i posted my first i guess you could call it a hard launch i don't know what you want to call it a fucking tiktok with michelle i think we want to call it a hard call it a hard lunch you literally show his face say his name point at him and say this is my man i mean he's my man what's a harder launch launch than that? They're getting cut. You know what I mean? For sure. I'm watching you. But all the comments were like, I think she found her Moses. And then I went into this whole like deep dive of a thought on that of like, do you know what I mean? Like, why do I keep doing that?

I never do that. Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at Tread Experts.

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Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino. Check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer or enjoy over 3,000 games to choose from like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz. Make instant deposits or same-day withdrawals. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. Like, what does finding your Moses consist of? I don't know. I don't know. Moses is just like with it. Yeah. I don't know because I surely have not found my Moses. In fact, I have not found anything of the sort. The other day I was going to shoot this, um, like Joey Graceff a set of videos and i was like one of them's a dating show and he's like i don't care babe go kill it like i'm secure like your mind like go do it could not and i was like like yeah cancel right now stop

sounding like less of the one you know like i just i appreciate the security and being excited and supportive more than well i'm excited for you. I would elaborate more, but like he's literally behind me, seriously. I know. That was even painful for me. I'm not kidding. Today, I was at lunch with Paige. And we get into this weird conversation. Like I'm talking about how I gained like 10 pounds and we're discussing like,

oh, we should eat the foliage here. What's foliage? Like bushes, oh, we should eat the foliage here. What's foliage? Like bushes, grass, greenery. Oh, God, you always teach me things. And are you hitting on me? Mm-hmm. Okay. And so we're joking.

Like, I don't even want to order this flatbread. Like, I want to eat the fucking foliage right here, right? And then Paige volunteered this information that as like a five-year-old a six-year-old she wanted to be a horse is so bad that she would go outside and get on the lawn on all fours and eat the grass i completely understand that no i'm like i'm like not a bite like she was saying i was full honestly i don't know i was like really i get that i really get how that could happen so it made me think about because like she said that to me and i was like the first thing i responded with was like that's the most page sentiment i've ever heard like that's so page commit to the bed you know what i mean and that we like all did weird ass shit as a kid but it like says so much about who you are now yeah i

mean i always tell you my little things that i do i would like leave my friends to go have full conversations with myself in the mirror and you still do that no like i'd be like so over and i'm like i don't want to talk to anyone. Like I want to go talk to myself. I remember one time my mom caught me and I was like, fuck off. Listen, you want to know, speaking of my mom caught me one time I had an older sister. I just knew she'd have a banger response. She convinced me that I was growing a penis and that I had to start to pee standing up. You do not want to know how long I was peeing standing up before my mother noticed.

What do you mean though? I peed standing up every time for like a year. Because Tori told me that I was growing a wiener. But like elaborate. Like were you. Okay. So here's. I would just. I would literally just stand on either side of the toilet.

Okay. So you were kind of like. And I don't mean to say this. I was were kind of like and i don't mean to say this i was straddling the toilet and you were just peace standing up peace standing up every single time you think you could still do it oh yeah oh yeah i kind of want to i got that aim on me i just had so many like it's so crazy what you believe as a child like i remember i could see i could see like these little like bubbles that would come up in my shower drain when i was like growing up and i convinced myself that there were bats and that there was a cave under me and if i sang in the shower all the people who were hiking in the cave

could hear me and so then i was like oh i can convince these people i'm hillary duff obviously wait wait wait wait wait wait you're about to say something that i think i have a shared experience with and it's gonna fucking fuck me up go ahead were you catfishing people no oh that's another that's another story we said we were gonna talk about on the podcast but i would sing and i would hope that the the the hikers in the cave and thought that like hillary duff was up there so you know i how I'm pee shy horribly, right? Right. And I convinced myself that I could only pee like if I didn't hear it as a kid. So every time I had to pee, like I would have to sing a song

and every single time I would sing the song, I would sing the Hilary Duff song. Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made. And to this day, if I'm p shy as fuck i will literally like sing it in my head i love that it's oh my god i miss being that age i saw nessa barrett post yesterday how she she was like i finally graduated past like beating myself over the head with a hairbrush did you ever do that oh no i know myself my and tori my older sister both had this where it was like my hair would get so tangled i would get so mad like so frustrated trying to brush it that i just start beating

myself i like it just so frustrated like i can't explain that feeling i i can't even think of something now that would make me that frustrated do you know how i like do that thing where i pretend not to know how to do something that i completely know how to do so someone else does it for me? For sure. I've always been that way since I was like five years old. She's brilliant. Like I just I'll pretend like I don't know how to do it and I'll never forget this day I was in my bathroom and I just gotten out of the shower and my mom was like, okay, brush your hair. And I was like, I don't know how.

And my mom was like, yes, you do. I've seen you do it a thousand times. And she kept putting the hairbrush in my hand. And she'd be like, brush your hair. Like, you know how. And I'd be like, I don't know how. And she kept putting it in my hand and I kept like dropping it. Like just pretending like I didn't even know how to hold it.

And then I'd pick it up by the bristles and like take the handle and try to like running down my hair. I could just. Like I went to like full lengths to convince my mother for like hours that I didn't know how to brush my hair. And you could tell she was just fed up.'s like she's like we're gonna stand here till you brush your own fucking hair you know what i mean and then i was just using the back of the brush or i was dropping it on my head or whatever and i'll never that was the first time

my mom like cussed me the fuck out she was like i didn't fucking know how i think she beat me at the hairbrush oh man well you know what happens to the best of us my mom had a wooden spoon named mr happy my parents also had a wooden i never got hit that me being a pick me i'm like i never had to get hit seriously oh my god i got beat with everything in a fucking two mile radius my sister i have a belt what i whenever you describe your childhood stories to me you are like i'm seeing tori my older sister she was so she was the like bad one not that you were bad but like i was bad she just got in so much trouble that it was almost it's kind of like us where it was like the contrast made me look so much better than i actually was because i'm still like kind of a bad kid yeah like which explains our relationship so much like i almost feel like the way that you

treat me and the way i treat like it's almost like i am tori like it's like sisterly and i'm the bad one but like yeah well like she came with my grandparents and my my grandparents were literally like we don't know what to do oh wait tori what do you mean came with your grandma we were both with my grandparents for a while and then she was like she was just so bad and i'd be like i was horrible well and maybe i don't share that story actually sure sure sure i know we we just fought so much her and i and we would share a room and i would literally be in bed and she would not touch me and i'd be like ow tori just hate me in the head

they'd be like tori how dare you it works i'm so sorry tori i love you so much how far can birds go how far can birds fucking go erin i put this as a podcast topic specifically so you could chime in and we had a whole conversation about this the other day and i tweeted about it um if i'm a bird in florida can i just fucking gas it to australia well or am i a migratory they have to stop in between right where i mean there's on like a telephone pole on turks and geckos they're just like at noah's ark yeah they're at noah's ark i don't know i guess i really don't know what i'm saying like if we see a bird in california it's like yo were you just in ireland or like have you always been a california native i think they pretty for the most part they

stay in the same vicinity because they like they travel based on the weather. So like they'll go you know west. I don't know where they go. I don't know where they go but they go another direction. But like it kind of like a Tesla like how the charge stops. Like when does the flap stop? Yeah I think they have to stop to charge.

What the fuck? No I really mean that. Like how we have to go to sleep. We can't just walk forever except for mike pose nursery real real yeah they fly some fly across continents but like can a new york bird just like go to la like a new york bird be like i'm over the city i want to go to malibu or is that bird just in new york? I don't know. Okay. Now you need to know.

Why would you expect me of all people to know? Because you kind of know everything. Google in front of you. I just Googled it. It gave you the answer. What is the answer? What does Google say? I don't know.

Just move around. Do you know that one of the top comments on the last podcast was they love you like chiming in? Really? Yeah. Tana, if you had to be a bird anywhere where would you choose anywhere i'd be a bird in new york city you so maybe i should move there the last place you should be a bird no because it's like the way they accept birds there is so different like a pigeon in new york city like you're eating good you go to the upper east side you chill in central

park you go back you could be a bird at disneyland and you could just i really never rose all day you give pigeon energy who oh then maybe i'd be a bird and do yeah i give you pigeon energy yeah 100 that's like a really you know one time i asked page like what animal i am and she said i'm a raccoon she was like you're just always scurrying you have black eyeliner around your eyes at all times. Like you're always like rummaging for something. You're just rummaging through the trash. Yeah. Like what? I don't think you're a raccoon.

But I think that if I could be a bird anywhere, I'd probably choose like maybe Disneyland. Now. Maybe Dubai. This is my favorite question to ask like on a first date. If you had to like live in a store for the rest of your life, where would you choose? Walmart. Okay. That's a good one. Now, if you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life, would you choose walmart okay that's a good one now if you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life what would you choose taco bell that's

such that's a such really stupid answer a cheesecake factory that it was exactly the right answer cheesecake factory that was exactly that was i'm so happy it didn't take you long to get there because you could you could go to cheesecake factory and say i want a slab of grilled chicken and a fucking like clove of lettuce buffalo blast what yeah you could have there is nothing in the world that is not also chili food at cheesecake factory but also chilies just because it's that good no chilies isn't that's the only sponsorship like if i don't get a chili sponsorship in the time that i have this career like i've failed myself right so cheesecake factory duh yeah you could eat anything at cheesecake factory i asked a man that recently and he said sweet green i was sick i was on a beach in europe with this girl who was such a

pick me and i'd like met her through like a friend of mine this story the girl who was literally like and we all were having a conversation and we're all like what's your favorite fast food restaurant and it's like me Ty Paige and like a bunch of our friends who like were also in Europe and everyone's saying like Chick-fil-a Taco Bell whatever and she goes sweet green that's fast food and then I was like okay

pick me but I try to give her a second chance I'm like I'm like but like what about like bad for you fast food and she's like well like veggie grill and I'm like i'm like but like what about like bad for you fast food and she's like well like veggie grill and i'm like oh my god i guess that some people live like that but it's just like no you don't like have you ever had a fucking crunch wrap supreme no i just went on a whole rampage about this today because i was watching this girl's youtube videos i love rampage rampage i was on a rampage i have this girl that i know and i honestly you know what i don't like to

be a hater but sometimes i do and in this particular situation i watch every video she posts with intent to hate it okay i have someone like that i watch their every vlog and i don't even like i don't know what it is like i just can't stop doing it but her content is so like health focused but it's so misguided and she's so uneducated that it like infuriates me to a point like elaborate return she'll be like she had a chip alternative tana an alternative for chips okay you want to know what it was it was watermelon cut into chipped sized slices like have you ever had a gluten-free chip it's not a fucking chip it's a watermelon and that's fine but it's a watermelon they do coke they all do coke there we go like when these bitches who have clear fucking problems

post to what i eat in the day like you know what i mean and they're like all i ate today was avocado and kale and then i had a snack later i'm like i've seen you do an eight ball off of g easy you know you know how yes absolutely so funny because she absolutely has i i don't even know who you're talking about that was a generalization it was a hasty generalization and it was accurate i like a straight man and sometimes that comes with compromise. We always talk about that. Like I only like girl interests, you know,

and then there's certain things I like, you know, like I'll like I'll watch a basketball game or I love like a Wolf of Wall Street or like a murder doc. Like there's neutral things or like a Theo Vaughn podcast or like whatever, but like spends all of his time like watching football watching it right now surfing the highlights like it's all like i can't get into football basketball maybe football not for me nature documentaries but that's just the hawaiian in him i don't love love like every time we have

sex afterwards he puts on a nature documentary and i'm like i want i like to ground himself i i guess why am i now why am i watching a tiger did you ever watch like animal planet or anything growing up oh i love that shit meerkat manor forget about it really i loved it and i've been so in tune with my like i love a picture of an animal but when it like is long form it's like whoa no but there's like a lot of like really interesting like i i watch okay maybe not nature what if like what about do you like like water documentaries or like ocean documentaries there's a whole series on national geographic that's like drain the and it's like they drain like different areas of the world they like drain the titanic and stuff and it's so interesting oh that's sick i could get all on disney plus and they're so good i could maybe get behind that i love that

problem is i was like born in the city i'm like raised in the city in vegas and then moved here like yeah i was telling him this the other day i was like i'm a city girl not like a city girl that's gonna fucking be a city girl but like just my interests are so much more city pop culture based than they are. My thing is I'll watch it a bunch, but I'm not going on a hike on purpose. I'm about to. I'm leaving to Hawaii in two days. Aw, man. You're going to come?

I do, but unfortunately I have a kid. Huh? Murphy. I have a cat and she's been having major behavioral issues. Okay, I have another kid. Huh? Murphy. I have a cat, and she just has been really, she's been having major behavioral issues. Okay, I have another podcast topic. Okay. Do you shave your vagina?

Yeah. Okay. I do. Contrary to popular belief, I actually do. I'm not bushed up. I know I always talk about it. I'm an advocate for the bush.

I am not a bush wearer. It depends on the day or the week for me, and I think it says, you know, it says a lot about someone you're with also if they care or don't care whether you're bushed up yeah if your guy cares if you're bushed up eliminate him immediately like america's next top model shout out the gap tooth anyways um i was shaving my vagina like two days ago, again, contrary to popular belief. And really think about it.

Like close your eyes. And you too. And think about the process. Like it's like down and then it's like up and then it's like the side and then your legs in the air and then you're like sitting in the splits, like cutting off a pussy lip,

like a fucking Arby's sandwich. And then you're like bent over, doggy style, shaving your asshole. Like why is it so many like positions and who was the first to do it to make that the standard well and it's like you know when a guy shaves their dick you know they're just like boop boop boop boop like they just like get the like top six well done and we're just it's not true and we don't care that is fucked up information and you're spreading falsehood elaborate so when you shave your dick yes talk

to me about it talk like what like you give like a one fade up on the top you know i'm talking about i love that he's like doing a lineup yeah and then it's like like you know like the what's the fucking the groin yeah you get that but then your nuts take a while that's a terrifying how actually do you shave balls? You have to like stretch them or like roll them. No, cutting your... Yeah, they have to be... You have to pull them taut

because otherwise... What do you mean roll them? Not roll them, but like just like... He knows what I'm talking about. Roll them? You're educating women. I don't know.

Roll them where? You have to stretch your nuts out a little bit and like to get like a flat surface area because you don't want to just cut your fucking nuts. So you're like grabbing... This grabbing further evidence that i did not shave that guy's balls in high school it's complicated you have to like stretch you don't have to i mean you don't fucking

like you just that's what i'm imagining like a flying squirrel you can't like shave your knee unless it's like a little taut yeah yeah but yeah is it like it's like shaving an elbow like your ball sack has to be like shaving your elbow i would say that's whoa decent analogy because just like so much like loose skin just like all wiggly i actually can't imagine shaving balls it's probably so difficult thank you so maybe i'm you're so welcome aaron men have it so hard um i'm serious we live in 2023 where cars drive themselves. Why is there not a mechanism? The art of the bushwhacker.

Do you have ever gotten a Brazilian wax? Yes. And I saw God. Yeah, see, I've never gotten one. Brooke, I'm not kidding you. I would rather get a nose job every day for the next year than the pain of a Brazilian wax. So crazy because it's so black and white. Some people say it's nothing.

Like it's a walk in the park. unless they have like lidocaine there like maybe you take like half a bar and then get a brazilian i was on half a bar oh because okay do you have a high pain tolerance no but like i'm aware of like what's real pain and what's not like i can still be like oh i'm being a pussy you know yeah no pun um So like think about how your like vagina hair grows like down, right? Bold of you to assume it grows in one direction. Or like, no, it grows like. Your vagina hair's not growing up at you, bro. Mine is literally doing the YMCA.

No, it's not. No, it's not. And so they take the wax and it's like super sticky and thick. And they like shove the hair up. So like think about how painful that is like within itself. Like the hair like going back up with sticky wax that's like ripping it out. Let me rip it off. Let me rip it off.

I've never in my life been like a shape girl. I have never once in my life been like, oh, I need a fucking triangle on my puss. And I still don't really understand all that. Like the point of that. I do. I see it. it i'm like landing ship kind of a sleigh yes like i get but i'm saying like i'm not going for that i just want to get the job done like bald puss or we're pushing it out like whatever and that day i was like give me a triangle because i just couldn't keep doing it like i was like you know what i mean yeah you're like no more of that and that was for my honeymoon that i didn't go on i feel like would you ever you know what i mean yeah you're like no more of that and that was

for my honeymoon that i didn't go on i feel like would you ever get laser what are your thoughts on getting laser maybe you get a group on yes let's get a group on and go i just actually i would do it but then you know i'm a i actually am i always talk about this but i'm afraid of the bush coming back and i'm also afraid of like well you don't have to base your pussy hair on trends i know but what if i want but like what if one day i wake up and i'm like oh my god i wish i stopped like if you over pluck your eyebrows because it's a trend and then one day you're like oh you see brook shields and you're like i wish that was me but i guess you have to think about what you're better with right well what happens to like as you get older like everything ages so what if one day i'm like i gotta cover that up a little bush i guess yeah

i want laser bad because of the process i would do like the all the fixings you know what i mean like maybe not the maybe not like it's stuffing and cranberry maybe not like the bush as like um like a main attraction yeah but like maybe everything else because i really want laser and i think we should go together like coochie spread hold hands i think we should i think we should start a series where we get things like we were just talking earlier about how we're going to get our wisdom teeth taken out together. My wisdom teeth are coming. It could probably really bring us closer.

Like if we do all of those like really painful things like like a team building. Yeah. Team bonding. It'll be like special forces. I need to finish that by the way. I can't believe Jojo Siwa carried the cheater on her back I don't remember his name I can she's fucking well yeah can I tell you something there's different types of anesthesia though okay like when I got a nose job I came up from anesthesia and I was like hey

they were like what's your address and I told them and I was like fine but like whatever they give you off of wisdom teeth is like different. Do you think so? Because I always think those videos must be people like fucking like. I don't think so. I think some of those people are lying. I saw Mari after it in high school and I was like, oh, yeah, I was a. But I feel like it's like, you know, when people get hypnotized at like senior at the senior night or whatever. No.

Oh, what the hell is that? I thought that was a universal experience. Not at all. Oh, elaborate. At senior night, like in my high school and everybody's high school literally ever comment down below um you get there's a hypnotist that comes and they hypnotize people and no one in this room is validating that oh if you know you're supposed to get hypnotized everybody like starts acting different same thing is like the wisdom teeth i feel like people know

they're supposed to be like funny so then they get out there and they're like i have like an immense fear of coming off of the wisdom teeth drugs and saying secrets i know and saying like things i've held in forever and saying like fucked up shit and just or fucked up shit and someone's recording me like whatever i love you so much but it cannot be different than like a regular Saturday night for Tana Mongeau. I know it can though. Like I hold in enough that it's,

I know it would be different. No, I've seen it. I hate people I love that night with the night you were gonna do it. Like I hate people I love them. Like that night was obviously horrible and the things I said was horrible. I was just FaceTiming Mr. Jose Canseco talking about that actually i was like i'll never let your

best friend my best friend um but i think it would be things that i would just never say and it scares me like so much hunter demanded that we order a mcrib the other night in the start or in the mcdonald's drive-thru and i was you know what i wasn't opposed i was like you know what let's try the mcrib but tell me why this sexy hot gorgeous nba player gets into hunter's car and he says sorry uh brooks mcrib is on the floor you got blamed for the mcrib he blamed me for the mcrib do you know that's so like our relationship with hunter is so big brother coded like even the other day when you were getting the car and i was in the driveway mikoa was sitting inside with hunter and i was like i'm so scared because like hunter's gonna

tell him like a crazy lie like tana has foot corns and you're gonna have to deal with that forever and then it'd be like six months from now mikoullough would be like, so your foot corns, like a hunter just loves to like big brother shit. Plant a seed, yeah. Like for fun. And I was so fucking scared. He let this man think that I went up to the drive-thru and said, can I please have a McRib? I've never had a McRib.

And you know what? If you like McRibs, that's fine. But like, that's not the first question you're trying to make to the McRib community after this whole podcast. I will eat McAnything, seriously. But in that particular moment, I did offend the McRib community after this whole podcast? I will eat McAnything, seriously. But in that particular moment, I did not order McRib. I ate it, but it was...

Was it good? I've never had one. It was good. Does it taste like a barbecue ribs? I don't remember. Honestly, I was dying of embarrassment. I want to try it. I saw this TikTok the other day.

I saved it in my podcast notes as a photo it's a girl crying right she said me after I found out that his apartment was really an Airbnb he'd rented out the nights I'd stayed over and really lived with his ex the entire time we were together I saw this and honestly what do you think about that

because in my head I'm like at least he really wanted to see you and that's how i know i'm not ready to date whoa whoa he really wanted to see you he spent the money he put in the effort but that's exactly wrong that's exactly the wrong answer and that's why i don't have a boyfriend and i shouldn't until i go on betterhelp.com and don't even give them the fucking i've done it twice this episode seriously sponsor us um i think men just lie that always brings you back to the lil zan of it all where i thought she was his cousin for six months yeah you thought you're

his like his mom was dead for sure exactly men just lie like that but like i can't imagine doing that as a woman i can't imagine committing like that hard it really being like this is my apartment i can't understand like a feeling close to somebody too i get it if you're like you're lying to like an uber driver you're never gonna see again but i can't imagine if i had lies like that i had told you that i had to keep up with yeah like i just and to like make someone fall for you like that's so crazy to. And did he not have any like items or like furniture or clothes? Like he probably didn't have any clothes there. Or no pictures.

Did he know the Wi-Fi password? I don't know. I just had to bring it up. I don't know. I worry about her. But I was her. I'm so happy to just be sitting with you on this couch at night. That's point blank.

Me too. I think we might have to stop having guests forever, but then we'll keep having guests because there'll be iconic celebrities that we'll want to have on and then everyone will tell us the episode sucks and then we'll go back to this couch and one day we'll learn. You know what I think it's going to end up having to be? I think it's going to end up being if we have a guest, we also that same week have to have like i think it would be in addition to the

episodes that we already have not in replacement of or like half the episode of the guest is us and then the guest comes in yeah but it's hard to even like really get like a you know a good thing going when i guess when they're only there for 30 yeah let's get trevor wallace back everyone loved trevor wallace they only love trevor wallace which is so crazy he went on chicks in the office or yeah chicks in the office and they were like these podcast hosts are fighting over you and he was like i don't i don't know why he wants me dead good yeah he's i want him dead for real really yeah i think he's yours he's what because you have a fucking boyfriend no thank you stream pterodactyl yeah stream pterodactyl that is a stand-up special that i can get behind absolutely we love you trevor wallace and we're

sorry for honestly all the peril we've probably caused you anyways matt rife is canceled no he's not okay he is but we didn't do it yeah we didn't do it we're just a part of it somehow and i hope you guys enjoyed today's episode let's guess i love you brooke so much happy birthday happy thanksgiving you. Happy life. Best day ever. I love you. Thank you guys for listening to the Canceled Podcast. Vote Trump. Kidding.