Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 65: OUR EMBARRASSING DRUNK NIGHT AT THE VMAS - Ep. 65

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

On this episode of the Cancelled Podcast we are joined by the lovely Trevi Moran. We reminisce on the time we went to the VMA’s and open up about addiction. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code CANCELLED at https://LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW and sign up with promo code CANCELLED and play FIVE DOLLARS to get ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN CASINO CREDITS! That’s promo code CANCELLED—only at DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.1800gambler.net. In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. 21+. Physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. Eligibility and deposit restrictions apply. One per opted-in new customer. $5 wager required. Max. $100 in Casino Credit awarded which require 1x play-thru within 7 days. Terms at casino.draftkings.com/holidays Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item! Plus FREE SHIPPING which includes RUSH PROCESSING! This is exclusive offer specific to this podcast so be sure to use this code TANA to get your discount, 100% Free Shipping and get it fast with Rush Processing - Code TANA! Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A To listen to the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, the sun won't wait. Visit specsavers.ca for details. Conditions apply. Hello, and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. You are a natural. I can't believe i'm shooting two episodes this fucking fugly well it's almost like you didn't know we were shooting today i did i just i didn't have the like the gall and the wherewithal to put on makeup like wedding and beauty blender stunning to me well i love you sexy girl do you ever like feel like actually

wedding and beauty blender is like the biggest chore in the world or is it just me like I don't hate doing I don't like I really don't like doing my makeup well no yeah I don't I think it's so cool like different celebrities have gone like makeup free I just wish I was like a little hotter I don't know I love wearing makeup I love having makeup on i love the look of it yeah i just i hate taking it off is my thing i want to fucking die really i love taking it off the act of taking it off or having it off the act of taking it off like weirdly like i love to just because it's like when you have on makeup all day you're like you can't like you know touch your face like that tedious than like getting well maybe because i wear so fucking much makeup that when i do take it off it's like but like an oil a cleansing balm the one size spray you put me on to that is amazing i like the amazon basics cleaning clear dupes do you know she just

taught me the craziest fucking makeup trick and now i think of you every day when i do it it's so fucking insane does her lip liner sets it with setting powder okay brooke just essentially said hey dumb bitch everyone knows that was one i don't even know what where that face came from like that's a thing and then puts gloss on after and it like fixes the powdery and then it stays on for like 24 hours i sometimes do it if I just want my lip to be, like, a little bit more, like, matte. I did not know that was a thing. That was mind-blowing. But sometimes, I don't know, sometimes I don't like when my,

I feel like it makes my lips look a little foundation-y. I get what you're saying. In what, well, I think it depends. Like, 2016 glam-coated. I use, like, a hydrating setting spray and then do, like, a gloss on it. Can we just talk about, like, Kylie Lip Kit era? lip kit era like everyone having like a dark brown matte lip on and at that time i had nothing like no no lip injections at all so i had like these little same yeah and you can you were able to see it too and every crease like you're 80 yeah it's so that is so drying bless

your heart kylie you've done so so well since then for sure but like i feel like every single person like i don't know what's in the lip liner these days because or if it's just like the um technique but you could just tell every time that like someone like you could just see where the natural lip was yeah i don't know i could and i'll be over lining at my own funeral like i swear to god if i'm in my casket and i don't have makeup talk on overlined morphe if you're not actually doing it like i'll i'll resurrect just to kill myself i'm gonna take it out of your pocket from when you go down should we like start a collab note that's just called like mortician notes yeah are you gonna have a like so clearly do your glam yes and i've actually like discussed this with her at length pre-hires makeup artist isn't that crazy that that's somebody's like job

somebody's job is just to like do that's what page's mom did what wait what like page's mom is a mortician aren't they both aren't both her parents morticians i think so i don't know they explain so much about page's personality dude i used to go obviously like so different than being like a mortician but i went to i used to have to go to the cadav of the cadaver lab for school it's like literally just probably like 15 dead bodies and they've all of them are like sliced up in different ways yeah no they're human cadavers yeah that's worse than the fucking other thing you guys talked about but it's well i mean it's it's educational and it's like so you can like you can literally like peel okay wait i don't want to say peel back the layers but like that's what you do you go and you study them and

like study the anatomy i understand that yeah but it's so interesting like seeing them laying there because it's like they had a whole life and you can see like they still have like their arm hair and stuff it's so interesting i used to have a really big fear of death i i feel like but i think i overcame it i don't know i would i maybe not want to donate my body to science though like not i mean i probably still will because it's like i don't know what's happening but like the way people just i don't know yeah does anyone else i just anyone in this room like sincere question when i hear us like a sentence that gives me anxiety or like like I'm having thoughts that give me anxiety I hold my breath until it like stops

yeah like just I was just holding my breath wait I think we're supposed to breathe when we have anxiety I know in for three out for five but like can't well that shouldn't give you anxiety you're not a cadaver but really educational really cool what the hell is a cadaver a dead body what a fancy schmancy word for that well what do you like it's crazy it's at gcu you know my favorite word in the world of oh rigor mortis it's not even that it's rigor mortis yeah all the comments were like it's rigor mortis well we knew every day two words like or yeah it's two words yeah yeah rigor space mortis the fact that she doesn't even know it's like what makes it so funny i know well it was so funny she was so excited she was so excited last time she goes rigor mortis

and then i have this whole existential crisis about how the show rick and morty is all about yeah the afterlife well didn't we talk about kind of that's why and do you think that's why it potentially could be but in that same that same trip when i sneezed and you said gazoon tight i for for weeks for fucking weeks i kept texting everyone i kept saying gazoon space tight like as in like g-a-z-o-o-n space t-i-g-h-t someone commented it on one of my posts and it's a full german word like on the screen put it on the screen that is how it's spelled i was texting everyone like as if it was two english words and you got so funny with this word no she she got so funny with it that she started just abbreviating it and it'd be over nothing like like no like lila would like

just do something completely like unrelated to a sneeze and then trevi would just go gazoon no it got to a point where you look at me across the room and just go gun yeah and you gt it's like spelled like gazon g-e-s right it's like h-e-i-t g-a-z-u-n it's like g-e-u-z i think it's an s d-h-d-h yeah aaron aaron I'm really sorry to do this to you, but I need the spelling. Yes, it's an S. Oh, yeah. G-U-Z-U-N-D-H-E-I-T. He slash it. German is a language I will just never understand. You know, my dad was born in Germany.

Wait, born in Germany? I don't know. He was wearing like little lederhosen as a baby and drinking beer and eating pretzels. What the hell is lederhosen? Because my grandpa was stationed in Germany. I just start saying lederhosen all the time. time they're like overall they're like german overalls it's like the attire they wear what is it called later hosen later hos yeah you're the funniest person

i've ever met you're the funniest person i've ever met so were you so were you fuck you guys i'm hilarious it's just the level of trevi's quickness sometimes actually scares me like i'm like actually how did you just do that she just just read Gesundheit and goes, he slash it. Like, at the end of it. Like, how the fuck? Would you ever do stand-up? My mom gets on my ass. She's like, you're so funny.

Like, I want you to utilize it. But, like, when it's here or, like, I'm just hanging out, like, it just flows out of me. But I feel like you could do, like, story time, like, style stand-up where you're, like it just flows out of me but i feel like you could do like story time um like style stand-up where you're like just telling a story because you know where your little punch lines are each time yeah and imagine the fucking crowd work like the shit that you actually would because you are quick like that like shit y'all i would die we should go i'm i'm i'm gonna do classes like improv classes at groundlings i will come with you bro

i think it would be so fun for us to just do because i do want to eventually like at least like try stand up because i'm like i can't go my whole life without trying it and it's like we're all so funny in so many different ways like we're all a different type of i think we all sing that's what i was i think we all like that like how like i was actually just thinking that because like when she's like when I just said that I was like no you're also the funniest person I've ever met but it's so different the way that the both of you are. And you're just like I just won't even know where it came from like how you thought of that.

Every time. I mostly have to be mean to be funny which sucks but it works. You. She is the only person I've ever met that like actually baffles me. Like. Like it's like the really smart kind of funny yeah like how are you

I'm awful at taking compliments thank you me too I'm like but if anyone wants to direct in my way seriously I do think though that like it's helping

I have a new bit where like I'm out and someone compliments me I just look them dead in the eyes and go I know wait did you guys see Kim Kardashian

on the red carpet the other day for the GQ men of the year thing they go they go you look amazing. She goes, yeah. Her being Man of the Year is actually so kind.

She goes, it's custom chrome. I love that. Because she is. What's the viral TikTok sound where it's like, I am a rich man. I think it's Cher saying that. And Cher's her idol too, which is kind of cool. I know that a lot of like, what? Sorry.

Me and Ari were at a party the other night. And we're talking to this girl. And the guy next to her goes, her name was Lynn. I don't know. Hotel California is written about her. The Eagles wrote Hotel California about her. Whoa. And I'm talking to her for a little bit.

And I'm just like, she's so fabulous. She's this older lady. She's amazing. Me and Ari Google her. Her best And I'm like talking to her for a little bit and I'm just like, she's so fabulous. She's like this older lady. She's amazing. Me and Ari Google her. Her best friend is share. I'm like, of course they are. So that's just like,

so I can just see you and Ari in the corner. He has a cup of tequila and y'all are Googling away. No, it was so fun. And she's like, this jewelry center was amazing. But I'm like, could you imagine share being your best friend and fucking hotel?

California is written about you. Yeah. It's actually California girls net net worth so that was them spilling tequila everywhere it was ari and ari's like you look fabulous he's like you look amazing what she's like amazing is the craziest thing ever like where did he come up with that flaw amazing i don't know maybe just out of the fl because he loves florida maybe see like how anyways i don't know i just he just out of the FL because he loves Florida. Maybe. See, like how? Anyways. I don't know.

I just want to say, I know that you hate that I am complimenting you, but you just launched a podcast. I did. And I have been waiting for this one like no other. Like, I'm so fucking happy. I'm getting used to it. I don't. I'm not used to that.

Like, I'm not used to sitting I don't I'm not used to that like I'm not used to sitting every week on a long form level so it's like yeah I think once I really get into the groove of it I'm gonna like hopefully master it like you guys definitely inspired the fuck out of me because I just I love watching everything unfold and like

the character development and you guys in this fucking plane crash I knew that was coming the character development and you guys in this fucking plane crash anyways um sorry i just had to clap for about one i love you um no it's just like i've seen from the beginning like when i was watching like the first few episodes like in rehab um i was like wow this is like interesting and then like over time and especially the second season you guys have upped the fuck out of your game and it was like for me i was like whoa what can't we just become is actually very mind-blowing to me like because we started thinking we were gonna just commentate pop culture and now it's like you're telling your whole life yeah we just didn't know i feel like in the beginning especially like

i feel like you were more used to doing like long-form content i just like didn't know like i just wanted to talk but now like you notice or like at least i do anyway like everything in life now i'm like podcast topic you know immediately so every time something happens i'm like oh my god podcast topic so it's like you don't think about that so much in the beginning but like the more you do it all of a sudden it'll be like okay well i have my whole and then they're listening and they're like well that's funny because you literally never have any topics and it's because i forget them what i also will just give my flowers to like oscar and erin and love them like so much of the upping i've canceled this like yeah because it's the people

behind the scenes that do so much in this city yeah like having people who care absolutely like hey we should do this or like don't say that or like yeah you know yeah it's like it's the whole story behind it is so funny like my co-host was my manager at my sober living in new york city oh really yeah and you're not supposed to be friends with your right no but she doesn't work there anymore yeah so she like moved to LA like with me like she got her own place and like literally flew back with me when I was leaving New York she quit her job and came back with me she's like signed to one models I think yeah so she's just like came out here and switched her agency even that's just such a beautiful story though I know it's just like so funny because

like I came in two months sober like fresh out of my seventh rehab and literally every night like she would breathalyze me give me my medication like would make me pee in a cup twice a week and now we have a fucking podcast together i love that she's never made me pee in a cup i'm like you're so boring yeah it's just like fucking nuts and she's the best and yeah i'm just so excited to like me too i've seen clips i want to watch i haven't seen the full episodes yet because i'm a bad friend no you're fine i honestly like i'm i want people to like start watching it like the like when there's a lot more episodes like i love like someone who has the opportunity to like binge me honestly amazing

it's just it's like a show i will never watch a show that like doesn't have like a full season it was brutal like when t and i were like watching american horror story and like we have to wait every single week have you seen the new american yeah well i watched the first episode and i was like i can't do this and i'm waiting for them all to be done are they done do you know do you want to fucking check this one out obsessed with it by the way it's the best show which is crazy because i feel like it might like trigger you all the stocking and they're like selling your soul of it all like it's very interesting yeah um but i love kim kardashian and seeing her act in a role has actually just like been the coolest thing to me because it's like i think it's so hard to act when you're so known for being you and then her playing this role that's like chris jenner and like just so cool whatever halfway through the season they like stop it apparently this was

always supposed to happen but they stop it and say the rest is coming out like next year like sitting on a cliff like a show like that where they like stop it uh for like part one of the season and then they take like the the hiatus and come back at the beginning of the year i hate that it's like how euphoria like comes out like once every five years well that is great are they gonna release another season and why am i not on it you are so euphoria coded am i yeah like you'd thrive in a show like that can we have chloe cherry on now that the sag strike is over yeah so we were gonna have chloe cherry on and the sag strike happened so you can't really really talk about things you're working on. That you're working on, yeah.

And she was like, I want to wait to come on so I can talk, tell you fucking shit about Euphoria. Oh, shit. Now that it's over. I'm so excited. I am too. Shit. I love her. I love her too.

I've never met her, but she's gorgeous. I've watched all of her porn. That's what I was going to say. I think the rebrand. All of it. Every single video i respect someone so much who can go from one extreme to another and make it a fucking sleigh yeah yeah like you've done it you've done it i've done it she's done it club with jerry like it's so

fucking cool in any way it doesn't have to be porn but like making one hot from a place to another and changing it i just because we love to see like someone's story evolve like that like i think it's the best thing ever to watch but i also have so much respect for the euphoria director for being he i think he ever so literally like saw her porn and was like she's perfect for the show i'm pretty sure he no i'm not kidding no he wrote the character for her i think well. Well, and that goes back to the Kim Kardashian thing. It's like people were hating on her in the American Horror Story because they're like, she can't act. Of course, they had to like make a role around her. It's like, bitch, you guys love it.

Like people want to see that. Yeah. She's fully slaying the character as is Khloe Cherry. I don't like like the concept of like people not wanting like reality stars to be able or like in social, people to be able to act. I know. 100%. There's so many people who are so good at it, too.

And it's like people are always just going to have something to say about it. What that is, like doing social media and reality is acting. Kim's been acting for a while. You know what the fuck? She was acting happy in her marriage. That makes me, I had a thought on our podcast conversation that i was just thinking about her and i we had a show somewhere what city was that you know what i'm

gonna say no i don't when we went to the waffle house what city was that maybe cincinnati her and i randomly got so high by accident and we're high as hell her yeah i know i don't know what was going through my head and we have this like insane weird existential conversation where we're like it's so weird that so much of what our life revolves around is kind of having like i don't want to say a fake conversation every week but like a staged conversation like we could talk about something and then we'll podcast it's an organized conversation exactly i don't think anything on here is staged yeah no it's not staged but we were kind of saying like how a lot of times we'll revisit a conversation and i will react the same way i did in in you know the original time except now there's an audience yeah and i won't say like

oh i've heard this before i'll just be like no you know what i mean right and like that's crazy i mean it's in especially like in our shows we notice it because the shows like are a lot of the same will repeat kind of stories you guys i will say though you guys are pretty good at like saving shit for the podcast we will like yeah you will save full-blown like fucking like canon events for this yeah yeah so like well that's like some of the stuff needs like a real reaction yeah i've been taking the time to write and finish my tell-all book because that's like have you ever heard the theory like where someone's like if i'm in a toxic relationship i'll like purposefully go so far to sabotage it so that i that person doesn't want me back

you know like i mean no i haven't heard of it but like it makes sense i guess like trisha and i would always talk about that like all purposefully like if I know I need to leave you, but I know I won't leave you. You'll make it so that they'll never take you back. Exactly. And I feel like I'm using that analogy in relation to my life right now. Like I want to write a tell-all book and expose everyone who's ever done anything fucked up to me ever. So that I can't come back. To those people.

And to this life. Like I actually am ready to end this chapter. You know that, you know? Is it going to be called Everyone is Cancelled? This chapter of my life. Yeah, I don't have a title. Everyone is Cancelled. That's actually kind of fucking crazy.

Well, good to know because I'll try to stay on your good side. I know. I'm like, shit. It's not you. It's not either one of y'all you both do have chapters though so i'm writing it i do in chapters of people yeah like i'm writing like each chapter is about a person and like what work they signified for an era of my life you know what i mean i love that um and obviously there's a few chapters where i'm just gonna expose the

deep dark shit of hollywood that I've like seen you know and I put this one as a podcast topic because as I was writing about it I was like there's no way this is actually real and we have to bleep the names but I wrote about like how like essentially like all the biggest actors are most famous celebrities like do the most fucked up dark shit and like sexually like whatever just like so much dark shit and we were gonna podcast about this a couple weeks ago um bleep please but like the sexual weird that they do like i wrote i need to like i'll say like celebrity one but like well right like the how they all fuck to their own shit first of all they fucked their own what they fuck to their own shit like like like movies oh i think like actual like scat like poop no

that's john mayer though really yeah ble? Yeah. Bleep that? Seriously? Maybe not? I don't know. Just no bleep. Definitely. But, like, the fact that like, gets off on watching his Puts on headphones and plays his own movie and then has sex with women and can only come that way.

That's like the amplified version of a guy showing you his camera roll, you know? Well, here's the thing. If you go, like, deep, like like in psychological about kinks like that it probably comes from like a insecurity of like this was my prime this was like a moment where i like had my most success or looked my best and like you kind of like for me i remember for me addiction was all about like reliving trying to relive one moment over and over and over and over whoa that hurt me so much that hurt me so much continue so i remember when i was getting into ketamine i had such an amazing

experience and something really great happened like when I did this drug. So it was like a canon event that attached myself to this drug. So that canon event could be attached to their prime or their movie or whatever. The reason I kept going and spending all my money on this drug is because I was trying to tap into the way that I felt and relive that memory. Chase that feeling. Yeah. How interesting. I wonder if they're like. Same with alcoholism too too like not even just ketamine sorry yeah do you mean

yeah but then it's like you it never will be the same so then you need to do more and more yeah yeah to always chase that feeling that's crazy one thing that i really appreciate you about is that was horrible grammar but you got where i was going um super is the way that you are able to like psychologically unpack things i've never met anyone like that like i call you and we give each other advice for hours because it's like even that like like the way you like psychologically unpacked your addiction and the way that you've helped me navigate psychologically unpacking mine like that's like a real yeah people don't realize like like oh it's just an organ oh it's just my brain like i have to sneeze kazoon took my word i was waiting for someone to say kazoon space tight um

they could like people are just like oh it's just a brain like it doesn't matter like i'm just living my life like no i don't have trauma it It's like, oh, like, when you, like, I remember, like, when I was in treatment, like, all these therapists were telling me, like, this shit about my childhood or, like, this, this, that. It's like, fuck off. And then I, like, really deep dive into it, like, and take it seriously on my own and, like, with my own therapist and, like, keep an open mind. It's like, oh, maybe this happened and that's why I have that kink. Or maybe this, like, this happened and this is why I cry to that.

It is. Everything's connected. I feel like it's hard. That is what's so crazy is that we're all just a product of our childhood and our traumas manifesting into different ways. And that's just what being an adult and growing up is, is realizing that. But then I find it so crazy that there's so many people who just live blissfully ignorant like they don't know that even like you know what i mean well some people just are lucky they don't have to know why like you know some people just don't

even experience any of the like negative yeah you know when you meet a bitch like that yeah and you're like god never been told to shut the fuck up never been hit in the face but i like i don't know i feel like i like i'm so aware of what my issues are but i am not aware of their cause you know what i mean i haven't gone so far as to like find out like this is why i do this right i spend all of my like free time mental space like finding out why i am the way i am like i can't like i obsess over the psychology of like why i'm fucked up it's so crazy though because i did i studied it like that's that was literally what i went to school i think that also could make it a lot harder yeah i think i just like sorry to cut you off but i was like in such denial like

obviously i had like an adverse childhood situation but i always was like oh no i'm not affected by it and people would tell me like you're so you turned out so normal and like it didn't affect you that way so i just believed that and so then when things started happening to me and like i started acting like a certain type of way and i really started having the whole like personality situation i was like it couldn't be that like no you're like i i've gone all this time perfectly fine but it's also actually really crazy that a lot of trauma manifests into masking you know yes like that it's like you you mask so hard you convince yourself like i'm fine yeah you know yeah no and like major emphasis on like choosing not even choosing but like when so many people will tell you the same thing over and over again

like oh you turned out just fine and like oh you're such like an innocent girl or like oh this happened or like whatever people say it's like when you hear it enough like you believe it and that's why like a lot of like especially like when you guys like read the reddit shit and like there's a bunch of hate comments and there's like a persistent comment it's like you believe it and it's like that's how i i've been on youtube for fucking 14 years like i've gotten a repeating comment where it's like i've seen it so much where it's like oh like this just has to be true it's so well put like i think that that's like when i talk about i guess the psychology of social media and doing it for a living crazy um and how much it affects you over time like you start to stop perceiving yourself

the way you would and start perceiving yourself the way that people are well yeah and that's terrifying yeah I mean it's like you wake up one day and you're like who am I yeah I think like I've talked about this before but i think anybody who experiences some sort of fame at a really young age doesn't it's like the same as a disney star i don't like just because it's not like relatively on mainstream media like any sort of fame and especially these days with tiktok it's like even more people than disney channel like it's your formative years it's your formative years and like people in disney had like a full-blown team and therapists and like there was no like comments really it's like we're in such a different era

and it's like we need to be protecting these kids because like you could end up like me i know i don't know if you just saw uh charlieAmelio did Jay Shetty's podcast. And she went on there and she was talking about like, you know, she's like, I had this period of time where I was so successful. I had, you know, a hundred some million followers. And it was like I was doing so bad mentally. All the comments are like, oh, poor thing. Like champagne problems. You poor thing.

And it's so frustrating for me to see because I'm like, nobody can imagine that. Like nothing like we've I've had it on like the tiniest, tiniest little scale. And it's so hard. And like people like I just can't imagine a hundred million people having something to say about me at that age, too. Like I'm 27 years old and it affects me so much. Right. I think the problem of like what we do is that and again, it is a champagne problem. Like you sign this away for

the benefits of this but no one will ever validate our jobs like like you're an influencer you're fucking self-absorbed you're like what well it's because there's people out there saying you know it's so hard or whatever it is and it's not it's not hard at all but it's you know it's psychologically no other job you really have to deal with that like right being it's so hard or whatever it is and it's not it's not hard at all but it's you know it's psychologically no other job you really have to deal with that like right being it's like miley cyrus has a good she like she said something about it where it was like her it's not healthy for her to be like subject and observer like right it's not she said that's not psychologically good for her she's like that's why she doesn't tour anymore because it's not good on an everyday basis for it to just be like she's an object that somebody's observing like a spectacle yeah yeah

well and it's just there's no other job in the world where your work crosses over into just being you for a living like the way that you pay your bills and keep your lights on is like most people get to be themselves and then go do whatever their work is and then right you know what i mean like crossing that over into everything yeah and especially i feel like if the logistics the logistics of our job like someone who really takes it seriously like has the team like schedules things like shows up to things wake up wake up early like plans everything like it is a lot of work i'm not saying that it's like the easiest thing in the world but like people who don't who just think that you just wake up and like fucking finger yourself and

fucking make a million dollars it's like but that's so much of it so much of the job is ensuring that people because being relatable is what sells and what pays the bills so many people are ensuring that you you know i want everyone to just think i'm making dumb ass tiktoks and talking on canceled and whatever like they don't know the work that goes behind that right that's kind of the beauty of it as well yeah the effortless effort yeah i just think like emotionally like sometimes i'll look back and like think about other jobs that i've had and i'm like god like what a simple time because like nobody that's why i'm like finally actually burnt out tapped out like i'm just like even downstairs right now lila was just reading to me reddit right and reddit hates

my guts right now reddit thinks i'm the worst person to ever live but it just swings back and forth it's either her or me always you know yeah and four months ago i was an angel on earth on reddit and it both of those perceptions are not reality at all like the fuck you know yeah and like like i was just actually leaving my own body while she was reading to me all these like horrible things people are saying about me and i'm like it's so crazy because it's like that's why i can't read it because it's like yeah but i have the like i was telling trisha about this it's like an actual self-harm thing like i read it knowing that read it. Cause it's like, yeah, but I have the, like I was telling Trisha about this. It's like an actual self harm thing. Like I read it knowing that you're going to like, it's going to hurt me,

but I can't help it. It's like, if it same thing is like, imagine knowing that everybody's talking shit about you in a group chat. Like you're gonna want to see it. Like, I don't know. It's like,

yes, that's what it feels like. I think this goes deeper than that. It also just goes into like men and dating. It's like a specific type that's what it feels like. This goes deeper than that. It also just goes into like men and dating. It's like a specific type of man that you know is going to hurt you. Yeah, it is. There's like it. It could even honestly like be back to the thing that I was saying about like reliving

a moment. Like if one guy fucks you over really badly and you like absorb that type and seek it like you find people that are like that that you know will break your heart by the clothes they wear bitch people don't talk about the addiction to emotional self-harm yes well that's what it is because it's not it's not physical so people don't like consider it to be that way but that's like especially like my whole like bpd situation all of my things like that have always been like non-physical yeah right like it whether it's like eating like you know binging or whatever or like looking at reddit or something

like that it's always something that i'm doing that i know is gonna hurt myself and make me feel like horrible but like you said everything's connected like you're hurting your brain and you're like stressing yourself out and like that can manifest in so many different ways well and just the addictions to dopamine like i yeah people like nicotine everything nicotine alcohol well that's like the whole concept right before like or behind a trauma bond where it's like you get so much dopamine from when you come back together with somebody after like extreme conflict me and dan how people end up in like abusive relationships 100 100%. How do we get here? I'm like, isn't it tight? Oh my God, it's so tight.

It's so tight. Wait, should we be funny? Yeah. Like wake up. I'm like dance monkey. That's actually like our problem, you and I at least, is we'll like be being funny, having a lighthearted conversation. Camera's on.

Every single time we go existential though. Like we like like the conversation just progressively but that's that comes with your intelligence like you know yeah i am like like i admire that you actually take the time to like learn about it and stuff because it's like i know and i know i should probably but it's like some of it i just don't want to know because it's like and why why would you you know ignorance it hurts knowing is so blissful yeah i said something a while ago to an ex of mine that who when there's so many i know so real um about how i think that so much of what plagues me mentally is my crippling self-awareness he's actually about to title an

album cripplingly self-aware so when that comes out we'll all know that's actually you need royalties yeah and i'll never get one if you trademark it right now you can writing credit at least tm like trademark tanamojo trevi moran yeah just crippling self-awareness plagues you like knowing is the death of you mentally yeah like people who don't know we're happier and like i respect and completely understand what you're saying you're like i don't want to fucking know because like why would you to an extent we are all pretty self-aware and like know a lot about this kind of stuff like like the people that are really ignorant and the people that have never been told to shut the fuck up it's like i can't hang out with people that are like

so bubbly and don't know what's going on like i need the deepness and like i need i almost need someone to have trauma well no that that is you attract other people who are mentally ill because it's like love no it's love a psych ward outside the psych ward but i i'm i'm not gonna keep a friend who doesn't understand who can't understand why i act the way that i act or feel the way that i like i can't i've always seen understanding as like my love like my love language like with people like if i feel understood and seen and heard by someone that's how i like i'll fall in love with you like a friend or anyone you know i also don't even think though that like every time that means it's a trauma bond i think it's relatability

because there is healthy relationships of people who have trauma it's just like i want to know no i just mean like i know i'm yeah it's just like some people will label it and be like oh like your friends at this person because or you're dating this person because it's a trauma bond and it's like maybe i just prefer to like know that someone's been through similar shit than me like as me yeah no i just know like before i was mentally ill i i didn't understand it like i could not wrap my head around it like my mom is a drug addict i would look at it and they'd be like just stop doing drugs right duh yeah like just stop it down mentally ill yeah you don't super well you know what i mean like then all of a sudden i was like oh she like your your brain so one thing that's really special about like alcohol specifically

is in in benzodiazepines it's your body physically attaches its cells to the substance isn't that why those are the only two things that can kill you during withdrawal yeah so it's like when you're like when it's like oh put the bottle down trevi put the bottle down like someone else it's like not only can they not do it if they put the bottle down their cells in their body and the homeostasis in their like nervous system can absolutely freak out and they can have a seizure and die so it's like i remember people would get so mad at me when i would like wake up and like grab a seltzer like grab a white claw and like put it down like we just wanted to put it down it's like oh my god like i feel like i'm going to die if i don't have this like you don't fucking understand real yeah you

don't understand so it's like but someone who's never experienced that feeling or doesn't know they're always gonna look at that it's the same i remember i my ex one time said like something along the lines of like well your mom could have just stopped if she really wanted to stop she could just stop well it made me who said that but it pissed me off so bad because i'm like what the like if you can't understand that addiction is like a real thing like but also just being a boyfriend you're so horrible yeah and just like but but that is like my biggest fear in a person is like them not understanding that like mental illness is like a a thing yeah you can fucking you can see it on a scan absolutely are those the infamous earrings i love them and they're beautiful thank you right bodega earrings i'm so like i love when

boys try do you know what i mean like it makes my literal heart so i keep making my new boyfriend saying i keep making him say like that's so like I'm like teaching him that like I think there's something about like like him going bodega like where you get a bagel well she put her jewelry on just to go to the bodega so I guess it makes sense

these are the antelope bodega but these are a bodega dupe do you know what a dupe is a fake I mean yeah it's a duplicate at a cheaper Bottega and the Bottega. But these are a Bottega dupe. Do you know what a dupe is? A fake? I mean, yeah. It's a duplicate at a cheaper price, essentially. Okay. Yeah.

I'm so proud of you. I'm not going to go like smiling ear to ear. I can't believe I look like this on the canceled podcast right now. I'll send you the skin smoother plug-in. Aaron, airdrop. Seriously. It's just like the contrast too because Chervie's like

literally dressed to the nine. Like going to the Met Gala. Well, you guys invite me. Going to the store. I've never. Going to rehab. Super. Super.

I'm like, I hope. I'm just joking. Would love to fuck off and do that. I think like everyone deserves like a little treatment moment. Like it's not even about like if you're addicted to something.

I mean, it is fully, but someone who needs a break and needs to learn about themselves can benefit from any sort of like going away for a month or two. Is it just where I'm really at mentally? I get insurance to cover it. Oh, I don't have insurance. I need to work on that. Get insurance. I know.

I remember the first time I ever got insurance, so I was like, I fucking need it. I feel like Studio 71 would give you guys insurance. I really do need, like, some, honestly, some sort of insurance, like, because it's, I feel like it's just reckless to not have it. My sister didn't have insurance when her accident happened. Oh. And her medical bills were like over two million dollars

But then you just don't pay it right and send it to collection stuff Yeah but And then like You can fuck your credit Fuck your credit score zero Yeah I think there's like emergency situations like you can do in that case Like access and stuff Right

But still Yeah She's like acting like an NPC on TikTok live Wait is that fucked up? Sorry She cream so good but did you say she almost was an npc no i don't even know what that means you're the funniest person i feel like we have to get more light-hearted and i agree npc means non-playable character and in video games when you're like i know i did i do know what that means but i don't know what i was was what kind of context i was using it in huh super wait sorry i was doing both the adhd did not work out um yeah we should be more funny uh gay son or thought daughter you actually just took the

words literally not kidding out of my mouth gay son or thought daughter um why does it work in every situation if you ever need to make something funny like that's just what you say i and then i'm gonna ask you my personally think gay son because i feel like i would know how to navigate his struggles because i experienced it but you made it now now you're experiencing thought daughter but now i'm experiencing so much thoughtiness um you have been on your slut shit and i i love that though i want same so much the guidance i just like i want to i want to so bad but I just like can't bring myself to actually meet up with these people yeah okay let me give you my final answer okay gay son who turns into that daughter

wow that is really it's giving mirror love mirroring myself onto my children so you where would you say the majority of men you hook up with are from a dating app i see i love going out too so like all like i love a man who just like it's a little bit taller than me in my heels and comes up to me like i honestly meet a lot of people out i don't fuck though i don't fuck you don't you did though and then you had a whole hiv spiral oh my god no i didn't have a spiral oh i did have a spiral but it's like the first time i had unprotected sex in a very long time this person did not like come across as if they had anything but like i had one friend who was like oh my god like how like i can't believe you had

like i'm like okay shit like made sure i got the meds like that day just like obviously i think it's better to be safe than sorry it is but i have i have that too where i'm just like so irrationally afraid of it that like yeah oh my god i used to like literally get tested every single day now i just don't have sex like that but yeah i also probably never did i just use a condom for the first time not kidding literally ever that's what i'm saying it's like you have so much sex without a condom for the first time not kidding literally ever that's what i'm saying it's like you have so much sex without a condom and it's like you haven't gotten it like i have it one time i know and i know true it does i used a condom i used a condom and i was like whoa this is what this feels like like it was so strange it was like rubber glove do you guys want to know something horrible that happened to me one time i just told this story up on plan b stage or whatever one time i don't have i ever told the gonorrhea of the throat story i probably have it seriously

one time after after mindy gate which one my mindy my mindy gate okay i had i was fucking and okay they know already thank you wait no no no but it adds to the story because he was an npc though so like yeah but i had a sore throat after that okay oh and i'm looking into it and i'm like this is like it doesn't feel like any sore throat i've ever had before okay so i start looking into it i find out that it is possible if somebody has gonorrhea you can get it in your throat yeah okay so i'm looking into it and i'm like i have gonorrhea super gone obviously i have gonorrhea of the throat so i i go to urgent care because i don't even have it i don't have a fucking like everyday doctor and i tell them a crazy clip i'm like listen to me i have gonorrhea

of the throat okay like and i go treat me for it now and they go listen like the test takes a couple days we can treat you for it but whatever but at the time i was hooking up with one guy that i was like i was only hooking up mostly with him and I knew he wasn't hooking up with anybody else. So I was like, oh, my God, I have to tell him. Yeah. Because I just probably gave him gonorrhea. So, but, like, okay, continue. Sorry. So I go to this man.

Literally, it was dehumanizing. I go to him, and I have to tell him, like, I am so sorry. Not only did I hook up with somebody else, but I got gonorrhea from this person, and then I gave it to you. Okay? I have goosebumps he is furious he's so distraught he's so disgusted with me he already didn't want to date me now he definitely just thinks i'm like the last person on earth that he would ever date right and i'm fucking traumatized okay but i had to tell him because i didn't want to get it back from him. So he goes against his will. He gets treated for it.

And I get my test results back a couple of days later and I did not have gonorrhea of the throat at all. No way. That's how that story ends. I never knew that. I knew it was going to end like that. So you didn't even have to have that conversation. I never had to have that conversation.

But you can't undo that. Even telling him that I didn't have it and he didn't have it doesn't matter because the damage was done him fully going on antibiotics he got a shot in his ass for me at the time from a from from just a hunch i had at the time you convinced me i also had it because well yeah because i was like she's gotta have it because she also hooked up with that man that was this is like a dirty story. Right. So dirty and gross.

But I was, so my teeth, my bottom teeth were hurting like so bad. And apparently that's a symptom of gonorrhea of the throat. And she hated me at the time, but I'm like, bitch, you have gonorrhea. But. Right. And mine's gonorrhea. Essentially, like I had just gotten dental surgery, right? Yeah.

So my bottom teeth are all hurting i'm oh bending over backwards convinced that i also have it now like because it's a symptom like whatever like what she was saying blah blah i was on clindamycin love from the dental surgery love which also treats that if you have it yes so you you did a knockout yeah yeah you did a fucking two for one but still just like could you oh my god and then like still to this day she never had it we never had it like but i was just so convinced and i'm like i take pride in the fact that i've never had an std she's never been tested well right right i've been tested you can't have an std if you've never been tested

you really can't but you go on antibiotics enough that you probably knock it out a few times. Yeah. Like, I'm just happy I don't have, like. I know you, like, no offense. I'm not saying you have. But I have twice. Yeah. What?

You've gotten STD? Yeah. I've never gotten STD. And I've been a moment lately. I'm not sexually active like that. It's not like I've had sex with all these people. Maybe, I mean, I was, like, college is, like, just a breeding ground for that shit. Yeah.

Breeding ground? That's the most insane thing that's ever come out of your mouth what a breeding ground isn't that what people say yes i've never went to college i never went to college i've never heard of that in my entire life well it's just like that's what pete like everybody one person has to get chlamydia for everybody to get chlamydia that's like what happened with timothy like imagine someone imagine someone like you meeting someone on a dating app and they're like come over to my breeding ground like i could terrifying i've never have you ever had an std no liar it's just not that like i maybe like am i gonna regret saying i don't know but like it's like it could have been i know i know because i get i get tested so often yeah like and that's why i know i've had i was using her for like like six months as my

tester that's like not so that's not how that works at all babe no but we'd hook up with the same guy and then she'd go get tested i want to just clear something up really quickly because this is such a common misconception we have never been hooking up with the same guy at the same time that is not true it's always like so far apart that it's crazy i haven hooking up with the same guy at the same time ever that is not true it's always like so far apart that it's crazy i haven't hooked up with him in forever and yeah no we're done with that thank god but like actually he texted me yesterday have we ever hooked up with the same guy i don't know i feel like yes if i just have guess. I know I've hooked up with the same guy as one of your roommates. I was just telling the story of when you were locked in that New York apartment.

And piss gate. But like, I don't want to like highlight a dark time. I don't mind. But yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no. Piss gate was insane. What was pississgate?

Tell it. I'll defend myself. I'm a big girl. I'm two years clean. We're good. I haven't pissed in a bed since. Seriously. So.

VMAs, right? Yeah, we all go to the VMAs. And Amari and I were unpacking this the other day. Like, I feel like when we were going to the VMAs we thought that would be like forever like it was just like a Tuesday like it was like oh I'm going to the VMAs this week like there was no level of like this is gonna end one day and I will no longer be attending the VMAs you know I it was really important for me because I was like I've always wanted to go to VMAs because I've been like making music forever.

But like I had to be drunk for it. I was pissed drunk, actually. I would just put on dumb shit and then be a ragdoll puppet and, you know, be there. Like I didn't know. I didn't know what I was doing. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. I just I didn't realize that at the time, you know.

So we all go to new york for the vmas right and we're all staying in this airbnb and there's like fucking 15 of us in this new york three-bedroom apartment like it's like you know that feeling too when you're like in an airbnb with way too many fucking people for yeah for the airbnb you know and so we're all staying in this apartment and we go to the vmas and we go out that night and by the time we'd gone out you were definitely trevorkis you know which i'm not talking shit on i'm tenorcus you know like i'm you know but trevi used to always do this thing where like you'd get drunk as fuck and you'd want to like go back to wherever we were and you'd like want the key for it. You know what I mean?

Well, because I was like, I knew that if I stayed out for like like subconsciously, I was like, I have to get to a bed because I'm unwell. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like that, too, though. I always know when it's time and I just send my cell phone. But so the key for this Airbnb was like an actual physical like gold key

and we only had one, right? No pin, no touch pad. At all. And you're begging for the key and we're all telling you no, no, no. And you used to be so funny in the drunk era. Sorry, no, you're always funny. I'm saying this was funny like what you would do is it's like whatever trevi wanted when she was like that

drunk like she would go to the ends of the earth to get it you know and didn't give a shit like would have five million twitter followers and you're like i'll tweet right now that you did this that you did that like if you don't give me this key. I feel like you are this way. I'm not tweeting about. Like I'm not going to tweet like, I'm not going to tweet Trevi won't give me the hotel key. I'm not going to tweet Brooke and I are in Jortsgate right now. You know, like it's like.

Oh, I would. Like would just like you were getting that key no matter what, you know? Yeah. And if I had to take off my clothes in the middle of the box, I needed that key. You did that? I did. And I also passed out and fell asleep on Matthew Lerano in the middle of the box. And you didn't let her go home.

No, but we're all saying like, Trevi, we can't give you this one key. We don't trust you with it. Like this one gold key. Like we all have to get in you know i couldn't walk this way and no one wanted to like put that in my hands oh well like what if you all went we were at like a vmas like after like it wasn't late like it wasn't late yeah it was like 11 probably no and so you you're just you're doing your thing and you're like telling us like i will ruin all of your lives right now if you don't give me this fucking key, right?

We give her the key. And I'm sitting there, I'll never forget this moment. I'm holding this key in front of you. It's shining like a movie angle. Like, yep. Bedazzling. And I'm looking at you and I'm saying, go to this apartment, but leave the door unlocked.

If you're going to take this key right now in an Uber, leave this fucking door unlocked. Come're gonna take this key right now in an uber leave this fucking door unlocked come hell or high water don't fuck all 10 of us over yeah like you know like please and you're like i will i'm gonna i probably whatever you know super super she goes back to the apartment and we all finally get there at like like 5 a.m like we were out all night like doing vmas after shit and we get there and the door is locked oh no and we start i've never in my life have i banged on a door like this like i was we started knocking oh i would have been furious no everyone was it was like 15 of us in a hallway everyone's furious we're all banging with our knuckles my knuckles were black for like a week

after like the way i was banging on this door not answering the door i call her and i remember the number that's how well i remember this i call you 36 times three six so was was Natalie so was everyone we're banging down the door we're trying to get in and the Airbnb owner is like it's 5am I can't help you

like I could come tomorrow if you want and we're all fucked and all our shit's inside and we're fucked we're so fucking fucked it's actually insane and

people from the other apartments are like coming out well because you guys were like screaming Travi Travivi, right? At the top of our lungs. Yeah. Banging down the door, breaking all of our knuckles.

At one point, I start flailing my body at the door. I'll never forget. I like body check the door, like shoulder. Like trying to break the door? Trying to break the door down and just trying to wake you. We were playing your favorite music on full volume at the door, trying to like wake you up. I imagine that's what does it, like Gaga?

I know. I open the door with doing the choreo i i see like this is like uh we finally trevi finally gets up after i'm not kidding like four and a half hours of this shit and it's all of us just live not four and a half hours i'm not maybe two okay that's still awful no no no like no i'm not mad about it it's a hilarious story now okay we open the door i hate i i didn't realize it was like this but yeah no don't hate it it's hilarious i've been so horrible and awful in so many scenarios true yeah like thanks for saying that that's friendship like you know that's super thank you yeah that's friendship we all have had our moments where we're all awful to each other we love each other um we open the door wait i opened it no no you finally

open the door okay and you're just sitting like this and it's 10 of us just live it and everyone walks in and i i hate to even say this part of the story or anything like i don't even like this part of the story smells like a puppy pad piss piss everywhere oh peed on the couch like it was a toilet peed on the floor like it was a toilet pissed all over the i get how i didn't mean to but in my defense the very next day i paid like like five hundred dollars for someone to come over and steam the couches. I was going to say I woke up to a cleaning crew. Yeah, I was on it.

I felt so awful when I sobered up. Well, no one means to piss themselves everywhere. But I just threw up in my own bed a couple of days ago. So you actually in the bed like on the pillow you threw up hungover or still drunk so hungover but like well probably still drunk yeah i was like not okay like i was like asleep asleep and throwing up yes that's really dangerous yeah i know that's how people like uh what's it called asphyxiate yeah you go what's it called i almost just said croak

like that's not the word you're looking for at all no that's how people what croak no not what she's looking for i didn't mean to it's that pirate water no it was the funniest fucking like like looking back at it for sure because it's like yes why are we mad we're here for the vmas why am i that drunk you're here forMAs. Do you think we'll ever go to the VMAs again? Heather Johns. Well, I've never been. No. You don't think so? But I do actually have a really fun thing to tell you. Oh, I want to know.

It's all the VMAs. But they're shooting a new Escape the Night. Shut the fuck up. It's six people. Oh my god, I want to go on it so bad. I don't know if I can actually say what it is. Okay. But it's not a god i want to go on it so bad and i don't know if i can like actually say like what it is okay but it's it's not a show it's very different it's a movie right yeah and i'm swindling to get you on it with me i want to go on it so bad i'd be so good let's tell joe

yourself and now it'd be tom will have like so much good drama it'll be amazing no they want us to act like i have to be a 1950s come on girl oh my god i want to be on it so bad it would be so good for us to do together it'd be so fun i'm doing everything to swindle a joint escape oh my god i really want to let it be i would love that i love joey i remember when we went to vidcon like i think it was your first or second vidcon and it was like when everything like was really happening for you

and I was like we like walk in to like the main area and there you were just like plastered on like the No but do you know that at the time

they still wouldn't give me a future creator band Yes My billboards were everywhere all around VidCon and they were like no fucker and that's what like

stemmed the spite to do TanaCon because I was like how are you going to sell me to everyone here and yeah kind of crazy do you know as you know I'm in my weird era where I'm changing my whole life and I'm thinking about everything

I wrote down like step back from the rebrand yeah I wrote down 10 of my favorite moments of my entire life like when I was like my happiest and like why and one of them was the first vidcon ever like us there it was it was amazing yeah i've never gotten to go really it's just so different now yeah i haven't been in a few years it's just like it's a lot of like DIY channels and kids channels. I'm also not really like a YouTuber, but like I want to go. But your personality, like. Now everything's just so TikTokified.

Like this was at the time it was like, oh my God, I'm meeting Jenna Marbles. Like there's 15 YouTubers there. Oh my God, I'm meeting fucking like, like all of those people. I was such a YouTube consumer. I can't even think of like, I mean. I had this weirdly like deep ass talk with my new man about like the psychology of old youtube okay and like what it like was like how there were like 10 people and like he was saying to me he was like i would do anything to

create a server right like of like a new server where it's like it looks like that era of youtube and you're receiving those same old videos again as if they're popping up in your subscriptions. And it's not even the like and dislike button. It's the stars. Do you remember when it was the stars? Good rated video, five stars. Like a fucking Uber.

And we were just talking about the fact that it was 20 people. Now it's thousands of people doing everything, everywhere all at once. Great movie. What's so crazy is like what you guys consider like the first YouTubers and stuff. I'm like, I had different YouTubers that I was like obsessed with and they like, they just ended up like,

like where's Fred? It was Fred. It was like Fred and like Ray William Johnson, Shane Dawson, Jenna Marvel, Smosh. I loved like the beauty girls though. Like the juicy star of seven. Oh, two L girls Though like the Juicy Star 07

O2L Juicy Star And her sister All That Glitters Mac Barbie 07 I was talking to Alexis About her Bethany Moda

And then She paved the whole way I just seen I love I just seen Yeah Yeah And then I feel like it Transitioned almost

Into like the second era, which was like Paul brothers, like Dobrik, Casey Neistat. Like, and, but even that is like so crazy. Like the differences in areas.

And now it's just everyone. That feels like they were so far apart. Yeah, they were. I mean, I, they weren't, they weren't.

Yeah. It was like, well, it was like Paul brothers and like rice gum and like face climbing and that one point whenever there's like eras like new eras happening like you'll start to see them like crossover like people will like collaborate like as something's transitioning and then like honestly it like feels like it's like an out with an old and with the new i want that to start happening slow transition doing like i remember the first time i filmed with david dobrik i was like i like viscerally remember it that's how i

found out about you that's how i knew you were swear to god yeah that's why like because i saw people think like i did like i knew who you were before i met you but i was like oh my god that's tana mongeau from david's vlogs yeah and i followed you on instagram because of that and then i was like oh she's an instagram model it's so weird because that was such a blip in like my life and career you know yeah but it was like right when i got here and i was like i was so into vlog squad and stuff that i was like that's just like how i found you and then i just started following you like i remember filming with him for the first time and being like oh i'm leaving an old era like this is the new era

and i'm looking see that's what i mean about like when you start to like collaborate with new creators it's all about like strategy and technique on like staying not even staying relevant but staying up to what is yeah and now i'm like now it's like collaborating with the tiktoker every yeah exactly every industry is changing like including the music like i remember i would release music and you'd like tweet and like post for people to like buy it on itunes and like then it slowly crossed over into like streaming and like playlists were so important and like now playlists aren't really that important and now it's all about tiktok it's so like every industry involved evolves because you were releasing music when it was just sold on iTunes. Yeah. Through STEM. Is that what you do?

Back then, I was doing it through like TuneCore. Yourself? Yeah. That's so fucking nice. With fucking Charlie Puth producing everything. Yeah. Wait, that's iconic. I know, but then he like sued me.

Seriously. Oh. Well, he didn't. No, he didn't. His label did, yeah. Why? For one of my songs because apparently that he wanted more credits like more royalties on one of the songs but we had an agreement that

was already signed and he had see you again out and he was making probably millions of dollars i didn't understand why his record label was reaching out i was like 16 they were like threatening to sue me did you have have to settle? Fuck no. Fuck no. It's my song. I own the master. I was like, fuck no. We can go to court, bitch. It wasn't actually like Charlie was his team, but it was When you started O2L, did you

know like I'm going to be a musician? I always have wanted to involve myself in the music industry as an artist and I don't care what avenue i need to take to get there yeah if i have to fucking shake my ass on tiktok or fucking do youtube videos or whatever it may be dance in an apple store because like my beginning even with that it's like everything has been about music in some way shape or form what about x and about X Factor? Sexy and I Know It. Sexy and I Know It, X Factor.

I can't run away from that. It's the greatest thing that's ever happened. Aaron, have you seen it? I cannot run away. It's the most iconic thing ever. Trevi was on X Factor. And it's Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, all of them on the panel, and they're just gagged.

It's the funniest, most amazing thing ever. The fact that 10 years later... I get chills when I think about it, really. i don't remember it at all i don't remember that happening not the craziest thing the most pivotal parts of your career if you're going through some shit you trauma block them on yeah i don't remember what it felt like to be on that stage i don't remember meeting britney spears i don't remember anything oh my god how sad yup real Makoa's calling me um yeah I think like it's just very weird and like 10 years later that it's like

it's weird to see like myself like that cause it's like I like in my head when I was on that stage I just know I like thought I like in my head like had like long hair and like fucking heels on absolutely bitch it was slip on the end in a v-neck get it together i need to be that for halloween next year it was so i want you to remake

it like literally just make like a fabulous version of sexy and i know right oh my god you actually really should i literally i do i said this on someone else's when i walk on by i literally can i can i'm i remember that video so well. But yes. I saw that video when it happened. Like making it poppy. And like putting the vocals on it. Like re-recording it.

Because they told you to perform that song right. Well that's what I was going to say. It's like. I. I said this on Coco Moco's podcast. And I was like. I truly think that the producers wanted me to be like one of those laughing stock auditions. Like the American Idol ones. But you were just so good. But I couldn't take that. Like wanted me to be like one of those laughingstock auditions, like the American Idol ones.

But you were just so good. But I couldn't take that. Like, I couldn't be like, I'm going to go on there and know that everyone's going to laugh at me and like, I'm going to fail. At 10 years old, literally. 12, I think. But yeah, same thing, essentially. And it's like, I went to a vocal coach.

I was like, I need to make sure that I like slay this and whatever melody changes or how Broadway we need to make this. Do you remember what song you wanted to sing? Yes. And I sang a little bit of it and they cut it out. They stopped me. What song? It was part of me by Katy Perry.

Oh my God. That would have slayed. Which is so full circle, by the way. Yeah, that's crazy. Crazy, right? Crazy. I love that like true pop, like people are making like pop music again. The Y2K,

all the Timbaland sounds are coming back. I'm making a lot of shit like that right now. Dude, Tate McRae is slaying. Her fucking ex's video, I've watched it at least a million times. Her dancing. Well, that's what it is. The fact that she's a real fucking dancer.

She's so good. Such a pop star. I've been watching Tate McRae. The actual video though is like probably the best music video that's come out in the last year. I've been watching Tate McRae since she was just a YouTuber. I've been watching the actual video though is like probably the best music video that's i've been watching tape mccray since she was just a youtuber i've been watching her since she was on so you think you can dance kids yeah like it's so crazy but i was like a dancer i was a dancer so i was like i was all over that shit i knew every part like competitive like good dancer

first time i ever heard of her when i was on ketamine crying till you broke me first no way super so like she used to just sit down and like write songs at home and then just like sing like random ballads on utah on youtube is everything she should bring that back I think that's what it was called I don't know if I'm love that and then would like put the lyrics on the screen and you know I fucking you love that shit over lyricism like it's my actual like only obsession ever like that one girl you showed me on tiktok jensen mccray wait that's literally her last name mccray that's crazy they're not related right most no they're they're related hold no no no tate no no not related but just

so weird that i just brought that up i didn't even know i almost sent you this crazy song she wrote the other day like oh my god i can't even but um that like her just coming that far like being she was a youtuber essentially i love it and i feel like like even a year ago she was like doing well and stuff but i feel like next year she's gonna be like olivia rodrigo because she's finally become so mainstream like she's on the radio yeah and all. Greedy went number one over like everything. Everything. For like weeks. And like fucking.

That's what I'm saying. For a Grammy. I think it's next year. Yeah, it would be next year. And honestly, it's like. She like the TikTok of the part where I'm saying like the industry just moves like TikTok is so important. It like makes so many artists like her and like Ray, the escapism song like that completely changed her whole life. I've been listening to that girl forever.

That bitch who made that song. He turns on the big light. Katie, Katie something McClared. Like that song, like being the saddest song ever that would never go mainstream. But TikTok sending it mainstream was the craziest thing. Do you have any advice for me on like a TikTok to me? Because I'm making an album and I need to like. Make sure Jake Shane makes a TikTok to it.

Okay, honestly, seriously. That has to be like the only thing. Like if Jake Shane makes a TikTok to it, I love it. Okay. Octopus. I love him. He's passing that post. I had this conversation the other day where I was talking. What did you just say? He's passing that post. He's passing that pause i had this conversation the other day where i was talking what did you say he's passing that pose he's passing that fucking post tense up bitch

that's his instagram i know okay i'm his biggest fan actually it's crazy i just catch up and watch a thousand but i had this conversation the other day um you might find this interesting um how i got close with jp sax so i would always listen to jp sax's music he writes the best sad song anyone could ever write ever and you know that's like my favorite thing in the world and i always listened to his music and then we became friends i don't remember like exactly how but one day he was like i want to come over and i want to show you my new album okay and i'm and i'm like oh my god like i've never felt so make a wish like my favorite musician i have an experience like that like

my favorite musician in the world is coming over to show me his new album and he was like and i want your advice on how to make this into tiktoks wow and i was like how crazy is that that like we now live in a generation where it's like no matter how good the music is it just has to become a tiktok it does i know and that's so stupid because like he's someone who i think is like genuinely one of the most musically talented people ever and just like and you have talks not really like picking up songs like that i feel like sometimes and you have to take your masterpiece and find the best six seconds of it and make it a dance and then certain artists are like making tongue or songs with that in mind

exactly yes i completely agree and i think that's where we get lost in translation yeah and that's what and then there will be six seconds that are good of the song and then the rest of the song you're like 100 i completely agree i find that so mind mind blowing I have a similar experience I mean she didn't ask me For TikTok ideas Because it was like Eight years ago I was at Art pop

Tour Lady Gaga's Show And I used to have A lot of the same People on my team That like Also was on her team

And They took me backstage To meet her And she literally was like the nicest person ever of course took me to her dressing room i saw all of her makeup i saw all the products she used i took a picture then she proceeded to tell me to sit down played me the entire jazz album before it released i didn't even know that i thought you only met gaga at that sushi restaurant no three times so funny that is so iconic and she's one like that feels so unattainable to me i feel like that's how i'm the most famous person in the world i stole a water bottle from

her dressing room i still have it i love that yeah what yeah like that's fucking nuts yeah not to like i wasn't trying to like one-up you it just like reminded me i just know i wanted i loved every second of that never ever being insecure and like defending myself from reddit oh my god don't read it uh ever that's like saying don't drink so true that's literally the hair on the microphone tim dylan is having a friend's give me join us I would love to You know he's in Milo's movie that I just saw With Addison Rae

And it was so funny because we have that Tim Dillon's in that movie? Doing what? He's a big role in it And it's funny because remember when he came on and he did the Addison Rae bit And it just was so full circle I was sitting there like oh my god this is so funny What's his like role?

He is a character i mean he's i don't i think one or two i don't know he's just like one of the main guys stop i'm already dying to see that movie and i'm so fucking excited it's a horror right it's a horror movie it's kind of like light-hearted horror though it's not like super scary that's my favorite type of light light-hearted horror is in but it's cute. Addison Rae Slade, Milo Slade, Megan. You watch Megan,

that movie. Yes. We watched it together. I was cracking the light hearted horror is kind of so in. I've been obsessed with the scary movies again. Yeah. I just watched all of them. Same.

Like it's, I just funny horror is underrated as hell. Marlon Wayans is so fucking Marlon Wayans is so funny and so fucking Anna Faris is the funny oh she is so good I love Anna Faris like literally so much one time I was um on a plane on a jet suite to like I think to Vegas and I get on the plane I'm so hungover and I turn to my left and it's marlon wayans oh my god he used to come to catch every single day i've i've told you about it one time he circled um his character in white chicks when i was still blonde and he said that i looked like her he sent it to

me on instagram and goes you look like her wait i would never ever honestly i would get offended he would oh no he was and i know it was like a funny joke because we one time we were i was walking him to his table and it's tricky was playing and i'm no it was like a funny joke because we one time we were i was walking him to his table and it's tricky was playing and i turned around i was like you have to like you have to admit this is like hilarious that that how do you like how do some people and i know you guys talk about this how do you not believe in that there's something not how do you not believe that there's something not out there? Yeah. To put something like a perfect storm like that to happen, that synchronicity. No, we've been talking so much about like the synchronicity stuff because it's like some stuff, it's just like there's no way. And even like look at these fucking clouds.

Like what? I know. I don't know. I just like trying to find like. Wait, I want to hear more about the clouds thing. Like they looked insane like a second ago but like you're saying like how are those like how is like how are those plants growing like so i just don't understand like how dude i'll spiral but like why are we like all similar

like like two arms two legs teeth were chewing like it's just like it doesn't make sense like i just had a whole spiral about the fact that like there's so much out there that like you know what i mean that just exists while we exist yes i was laying with my man and he looks up at a star right there's a million stars in the sky right and he's he looks up at a star and he goes that's jupiter and i go what do you mean that's jupiter like how do you know that you know what what I mean? Right. And he's like, well, because stars twinkle and planets just like shine. He would know. Like whatever. Takes out an app on his phone.

Oh, the star thing? The star app. I know, but the amount of times that Cynthia Parker has showed me Jupiter and it's Venus every single time. There's no way she does that.

Jupiter? She does it every time. And I'm like, Jupiter, it can't be in five places at once. But isn't that so weird that like the stars we see in the sky are different than the stars do you know i just found out there's all these people in hawaii that kayak to other like countries like they they take a kayak and they fucking row to like another fucking country

and they use the stars as their guide like there's no technology on the boat that's what they did back in the day yeah but like like an actual canoe or like a big sail i'm sure they're sailing they're those waves nobody's kayaking to another i mean it's bigger than like a small kayak but no they're rowing and there's no sail that's crazy like i love and then we're sitting here. I do. I really do. Every time it's brought up, I'm just like, she's so good.

And she's got Jacob Elordi. That's so funny. I love that. You know what? She rode her way there and she deserved it. Jacob Elordi is actually like maybe the most attractive man alive. He has to be the most attractive man alive. I don't know. i think he's very attractive

i just like who's your number one celebrity crush five like you'd die to date blank you'd kill off a family member like like i i have people i would like literally do anything like fuck like central c for example like i would let you had every choice in the world no i didn't say he was like i said i would fuck him. Who's your number one celebrity crush? But like you had Matthew McConaughey and you chose Central State. Yeah. She ate with that. I really loved Justin Bieber back then.

But like now I wouldn't. Whoa. Now I wouldn't. It's crazy to me. crazy well just like my experience with him i don't know maybe like yours is matthew mcconaughey who's yours like inspire me like tell me like the avenues that i can think of well mine aren't gonna do it for you pete davidson and adam sandler adam sandler is a good one but i don't think i want to fuck adam sandler i want him to be like my dad i would actually literally do anything for him to come on my face.

Like your mentor? Oh my God. Holy shit. Doesn't he have like a whole family? Yes, a beautiful family. Cut that. Kidding. I guess leave it in.

Whatever. Yawning. So boring yawning. Boo tomato. Yeah, no. Matthew McConaughey for sure. Just like Matthew McConaughey and like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Like that era. Best movie. Or Paul Walker. mcconaughey for sure just like matthew mcconaughey and like how to lose a guy in 10 days like that

era or paul walker it's a good i don't know what he looks like so he's very attractive who's your celebrity crush aaron i love asking guys because they just say the dumbest shit they always say selena gomez too no probably. Really? Wow. Actually, that doesn't surprise me. Wow, that's amazing. She's so hot. Yeah, she's gorgeous. I just like, if I had to guess

your celebrity crush, I would guess some basic ass shit. And Will Smith's so hot. Or I always hear Hailey, I forget her name all the time. Hailey Bailey. We'd sing her

a pair more. Oh. Hailey Williams. I would die to have sex with her. Is that why you have a crush on me? Of course. Wow. I should be over Oh my god

What? Honest to god After this podcast is over Can I go put on a karaoke song I was just about to say Should we go to a karaoke bar? No but Will you just sing me a song?

Like I pick songs And you sing them Please Yeah I'm so excited I mean I like I love a good opportunity to sing Wait I love that that's

my least we have a karaoke machine ever is that like he's the most talented singer in the world and every time I ask him like will you just like in the world was crazy yes I love Chris I love in the world was like Whitney Houston existed yeah right right right right you know what I mean no he's very talented he's very very talented But like sing Do you have a karaoke machine No We can postmate it We can put it on YouTube Like no

Your issue with postmates It's the funniest thing I love it so much I'm the same way Anything you can get on postmates I will No but like earlier today There's always a way

You know you can instacart a car What Yep Huh Yeah You pay I've just seen you postmate and it's specifically postmate that's the thing is it's you're not instacarting you're not amazoning i've seen you postmate like checkered

vans because you needed them in an hour earlier today aaron goes you guys need an umbrella for out here to like stop the sun you go we can postmate it like even just thinking that one time i was in new york city and i'm already laughing i needed a vape very badly and i was like so tired or like maybe it was like after my surgery and i like wasn't supposed to be vaping but like i like relapsed on the vape i needed it so bad but there was this one smoke shop that was open but it was all the way in east Village. I was staying in Hudson Yards. I called the smoke shop, asked the smoke shop for their Venmo, paid for a vape by Venmoing them,

called an Uber package to the smoke shop to pick up my package. So you coded the devotion. The person gave them my vape in a brown paper bag. The Uber package takes it to my airbnb and i pick it up that's because sometimes yeah sometimes there's resourceful there's things that are that are needed that are items on postmates so it's like you have to take initiative like they broke their shoes or something in a wedding and they had their uber eats driver like go pick

them up new shoes and they were like sending photos of them inside and like chose the shoes. Yeah. Five stars. Fucking five stars and a tip, sir. Absolutely. I did that one time what you just said with the John F. Kennedy mask.

Like for Halloween. Like he did it for Jeff that night. So I Venmo'd. Oh yeah, because the Halloween shop was closing. And I called and they were closing and I was like, I don't care. Like here's the front And back of my card

Put a John F. Kennedy mask In this Uber Ridiculous They did it Yep Oh so you slide I love Uber package It's great

I never do package I just do One time I got $300 of ketamine Delivered by Uber package From LA to San Diego I'm not kidding I was just about to tell you

Six stories Where I have Uber package drugs. And then I was like, they put them in sunglasses case. My drug dealer at the time put it in a sunglasses case. My Uber package picks it up, drives it from Koreatown, Los Angeles. You had your Uber package driver being a drug mule.

And I feel bad. I always have. I'm like, this Uber driver is going to jail but for me and like doesn't know i like i i use uber package appropriately now that i'm sober i like i'm scared that someone from uber is watching this no one from uber is watching this at all i don't know man but postmates if you want to give me a brand deal i literally use you they're owned by uber uber i love you and you know she's gonna have the deal next week next

week i want i did i know so many people who have postmates deals i'm like how did you get that i that's my dream brand deal yeah yeah postmates could you imagine i've done a postmate they did yeah remember was it like 2017 who was that guy ben trin that everyone was yes everybody i the fact that i remember his first and last name because everybody was tagging him for their free postmates it made me so jealous ben trin and adam goat kept shoes on my feet and food in my mouth holy shit that was an era where we would just like post for ben trin it was the best thing ever one time we did like a postmates deal for valentine's Day and they gave us like a credit. I didn't even know what I wanted.

I could have said a million things. What they chose for my $200 credit, they delivered me a Jonathan Adler flower vase. What am I going to do with that? And you were like, why isn't this a bottle of Tito's? No, actually, why isn't it? Literally. Real. So real.

I don't mind paying for my Postmates, but like I would prefer like, that'd be so lit. If I could just post it. I'm going to post it anyway. Yeah. Post it when I'm eating. I mean, you can always like post your like Postmates code and refer people for like the fans to sign up. But there's a limit.

Yeah, but it's better than nothing. I can't believe they took away Uber rewards. Like I used. I didn't know that was a thing. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. And I didn't pay for an Uber for like four years. And I credit that actually just so much of why I don't drive.

Because I was so young being able to post, use my Uber code and we get the credit. Can you guys believe we lived in a time that Uber didn't exist? Like I think about even in college, you know, like you had to get a ride. First two years of me being in college, know like like you had to get a ride first two years of me being in college like uber was like barely a thing like we would i mean we didn't have to drive anywhere anyway because it was like we're on campus but like that's so crazy to me like that i didn't have uber in high school yeah i don't did you watch any of you watch it for a ride down

the street super yeah um did you guys ever watch the uber docu or not docu uber like biopic essentially on netflix with um what's his name i don't know his name famous actor boy he's really hot um it was all about like the story of like how the company formed and like yeah and he was like allegedly terrible right yeah i mean what a brilliant idea though like it's one of those things where it's like, how did we not think of that? I was like, we were all like children. But I guess we did think about that. It was taxis.

But like, yeah. Yeah. But like, it's like integrating technology and moving the industry in a different direction. Everything moves. I know. But what are we going to have? What are we going to have in three years that we can't believe we don't have? Uber without drivers.

Not kidding. That's going gonna be terrifying but also comforting that it's gonna be all computerized at the same time have both of you watched the show nathan for you yes you too if you've never watched it you're not funny first of all like that's it's like no no no you said yes you've watched it i'm saying i haven't watched it oh oh what you're way too funny to have never watched nathan for you go home now and watch it. Oh my God. Is it funny? It's the greatest show of all time. It's the funniest show of all time.

All he does is like fuck with people. But like, I can't put it actually into words. Like you just have to watch it. I know. I need to write it down. Do you watch the Pet Sematary one? Yes. I've seen every single episode.

Six times. The fake Starbucks. Like you're a genius. Wait, I have just something to say really quickly. I forgot to mention it on the last solo episode, yes i've seen every single episode six times the fake starbucks like you're a genius wait i have just something to say really quickly i forgot to mention it on the last solo episode but i need to mention it right now what's up i was supposed to go on a date the other day and i had to cancel on him okay and i really wanted to go on the date he was like a cute guy i'd been talking to him for a while i messaged him i go i'm so sorry i have to cancel he messages me back and he goes i guess

i'm gonna have to take tana on a date people do that to me too wow all the time like if I reject a guy he'll like make a joke like okay so I'm just gonna date Brooke it's like what the hell do you think this is that's not how does I don't have like that on my profile like it's not like a oh so this this person you met I think but I think let me show you him. Have you matched with this man? Wait, I bet we all have a lot of the same matches from Hinge. I never matched really with anybody. I have one great experience, one great relationship. Everything else has been absolutely the worst thing ever.

Yeah, it's scary. I mean, I love Hinge. Love meeting a man in real life. Saying I love him because you want a deal. No, I literally so, so, so, so love it. Are all of his prompts about dropping a baby? Yep. I've matched with him.

Let me see. Show now. Fuck you, Isaac. Fuck you, Isaac. Wait, show me. I want to see. So cute, though. Really?

Like a nice Jewish boy. I definitely match with him. Let me see now. If you also match with the Let me see now Have you also matched With the same man on Hinge This is exactly why I hate Society today

We've all matched With the same Hinge man I saw him on my standouts But I didn't care enough You know who's on my Standouts every day Is Trevor Aaron Mance is that guy

How nuts is that Fuck you Isaac We definitely Episode title Fuck you, Isaac. We definitely... Episode title, Fuck You, Isaac. So Cynthia Wine tour-coded. Anyways.

Holy fuck. Trevi. Tana. Thank you so fucking much for coming on Cancel. Of course. I love that. I'm so...

I love you both so much. And you're always hilarious on Cancel, duh. But we haven't had a moment where you just got to shine like the star you are. Oh love you both so much. And you're always hilarious on Canceled, duh. But we haven't had a moment where you just got to shine like the star you are. Oh my God, thank you. And literally wore sequins just to shine extra hard. I went all out for you guys. I know.

Why does it look like... It looks like we didn't dress for the occasion. I look like your homeless daughter. No, you guys do this every week. That's a big deal. It's my debut. It is. And I would love to have you back on a thousand times.

Was this not one of your favorite episodes you ever shot? I i always love being around trevi yeah favorite human i love you so much guys please actually stop listening to cancels and go listen to trevi's podcast i'm sure it's better yeah actually don't stop listening to cancel seriously never stop but also listen to six feet above by trevi maran absolutely and stream all the new music that's coming out and just support my girl the way i do forever and ever i love you love you i'm like stay true yeah