Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 67: Saying Goodbye to the Cancelled Podcast - Ep. 67

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

In this episode, Tana and Brooke delve into a reflective conversation about their personal journeys and growth throughout the past year. They express their appreciation for the positive aspects of their lives and acknowledge some disappointments they have encountered with certain individuals. As they open up about their life lessons, they share their aspirations for the future, highlighting their commitment to enhancing the quality of their podcast. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code CANCELLED at https://LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod Visit https//adamandeve.com Offer is 50% off almost any item + FREE SHIPPING + RUSH PROCESSING Code is TANA Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW and use code CANCELLED. New players get an instant deposit match up to ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS in casino credits when you deposit five dollars or more. That’s code CANCELLED, only on DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.1800gambler.net. In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. 21+. Physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. Eligibility and other restrictions apply. One per new customer. Must opt-in and make a minimum $5 deposit within seven days (168 hours) of registering a new account. Max. match one hundred dollars in casino credits which require one time play-thru within seven days (168 hours). See terms at casino.draftkings.com/newplayeroffer2024 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there, helping you with Kumo tires you can trust. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local tread experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo TreadExperts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. Today is a New Year's episode. I didn't think we'd actually get to film before the year was over.

Neither did I. We said in our last episode, we're like, this is the last one. Yeah, but then we got home and we just couldn't stay away from the couch and the mics. I just want to put this out here. I have zero topics. Yeah, expectations low, everyone. Like, and it's not because I'm not being diligent at my job. It's because I feel like my life has sincerely been so wholesome and boring. I feel like that's kind of a sad situation that we feel like something has to go wrong for us to have podcast topics. We could just talk about good, positive things that are happening. But like,

even that, like everything. Oh, you don't have any good positives either. Well, yeah, I do. Like I had a good Christmas. Love my boyfriend life is good okay but it's just giving it's giving nothing no i think people are equally excited to hear about your um exciting things okay i guess that's true tell me about your christmas for the audio listener she just gave me murder eyes no i didn't my christmas was really wholesome and sweet I went home to Amari's parents as I always do. And it's actually so sweet. I cry every Christmas, like just to have people be that like thoughtful and love me. And I think I'm just extra grateful because it's not something I was like

born into, you know? It is. My little brother just told me over Christmas that one time he crushed up a plan B and put it in a girl's drink. I don't think it's still effective. I mean, maybe. Like within the first 48. Let me let me ask you another question that goes along with something you and I were already talking about today. OK. What are your thoughts on someone like if I were to like slip honey or like Viagra into somebody's drink if he were perhaps suffering from erectile dysfunction.

I think you're doing everyone a favor. Like he'd probably be like, whoa, this is so sick. And then you'd be like, to be clear, I'm not experiencing that right now, but I have experienced it. And have you ever slept with someone who has erectile dysfunction? Honestly, yeah. It's just so much work. Your wrists hurt. Your mouth hurts. It is. I was I made the comparison. It feels like you're blowing up a balloon with a hole in it because if you stop for even one second it's over like completely over and it's sad it's really i know you know i think i always leave feeling really sad for them i wonder what causes that do you think it's like hereditary i'm not saying like this is someone who like just didn't get hard either i'm saying like you know like

they've said like i have a problem you know well some i don't know in my experience the guy didn't think he had a problem i'm like this is a major problem it was like one of those things outside the car dealership i wish we could say who no they don't know him. We can't. Gypsy Rose Blanchard gets out of jail tomorrow. This is, did you see Elijah is throwing a Gypsy Rose release party? Yeah. Do you think she approved of that message? It's so hard because I really am like beyond invested in her case. I know every single thing about it.

I feel like I know her personally. I'm elated for her to get out of jail. I think she should have never gone to jail. How long has she been there? Does anyone know? At least like seven years. Like it's definitely not like a short amount of time. First of all, I wonder what kind of prison she was in because I wonder what her like knowledge is of like what's going on outside. Like does she know the kind of like straight up cult following she has these days she's got to like you know what i mean like if someone calls in they're gonna tell her like right like if she

calls someone do you think people write to her of course so many i just can't imagine the like culture shock yeah after having been gone for that long although i don't know just jail like think about most people lead a normal life and they go to jail all she ever yeah because she's never yeah she's gonna get out and like all of a sudden she can like tap dance and shit like she can go to a sephora imagine gypsy rose blanchard in a sephora she went to the movies she did do you think she saw salt burn that would have sent me right back home some of the scenes in salt burn away yeah actually now that i think about it maybe not the best movie for her i didn't really see the ending and i know it ends and it's really like poetic and cool and like yeah but it was like a big like hoax movie

where somebody had this whole fake life so you know the scene where um he drinks the bath water yeah wait should we spoiler alert yeah i i get where he was coming do you know saltburn sent me pr and it was a mug and in the bottom of the mug it was like an image of a drain that's kind of cool but then like i'm gonna be drinking my coffee thinking about cum oh no brooke just told me downstairs she really likes to get cream pied no i didn't i mean i did but why would you say that what about it no stop so i'm re i'm on a major rebrand right now fuck and they've been so successful what's um sparking this major rebrand my interest in having a serious relationship yeah yeah i feel that actually like that's not a conversation

that I should be having in that case. That's really true. She never said that. And I will. I would die on that hill. She never said that. I'm literally schizophrenic. Just made it up completely. Have you ever seen The Idol? I've only seen the first two episodes. Did you end up watching it? Yeah, I watched the whole thing. And were you like disturbed by it at all? Or like what were your thoughts? Because I've heard that everyone thought it was a horrible show i was gonna watch it when it first came out and chris miles was like you shouldn't watch this it's gonna traumatize the shit out of you because it's like gonna remind you so much of your life and like people in your life that's how i felt about um breaking bad that's fair that's really fair and so i didn't

watch it for a long time and then trisha's been like you need to see this it's so hot first of all I need to have a conversation with Trisha about what exactly was hot like there are some like hot sex scenes I guess objectively I feel like Trisha has like some little like funny kinks though or like likes dark shit like that it really traumatized me like I was holding my breath the whole show and just so much of it felt like like when she had the photo of the cum on her face I don't know why this is a recurring topic of today's episode but then then she like goes out that night and she's like drinking away her problems I was like that's literally a video of me then I find out it's at it was filmed at Bootsy Bellows which like I've literally done that like that's just like wait

now I'm trying to picture it and her entire relationship with the guy just is so like me coded like I feel like I've dated so many like piece of shit guys like that like oh me too and it's just like I don't even know all of it I could see myself so like getting lost into like a cult world and like all the like scary people at her house like I've just been there I don't know yeah see I've only watched the first two episodes so I don't know anything hardly about it. Yeah, no, I really finished the whole series. I finished the whole series.

The ending I don't really like. Yeah, well, wasn't there like not really a proper ending because they like couldn't even put out the last episode? Is that true? I don't know. That makes sense to me because my conclusion of the final episode was that like there should be another episode. Or that it felt like they were wanting to get picked up for a season two like it did not feel like a serious finale oh i hate when

that happens have you ever watched a show like loved it so much and then it gets canceled and you want to die like um what was it carrie diaries with austin butler i'm still traumatized i've never seen that one you would love it it's but i'm not letting you watch anything i'm not kidding if you do one thing for me this is my New Year's resolution for you. Watch Sex in the Fucking City. She's like, watch AA meetings on Zoom. Watch Sex in the City. It is literally, you will learn more from that show than you will like literally any

of your actual life experiences. Okay, I'll start it. But the reason I say that is because Carrie Diaries is like supposed to be the younger version of Carrie Bradshaw. Oh, wow. Okay. I'll start with Sex in the City. I will. It is the greatest. I love sex. I love cities. It's just so fun. It's like like five. Like it's just like amazing. Wait, that's really good then. I'll check it out and it'll make us want to move to New York. I just responded so AI. Wait, that's really good then. I'll check it out. What? Yeah, I don't even know who that was

for real. The fuck just came out of my mouth. I'm on a little bit of like a I've been like kind of monotone and boring lately. I've been glitching. You noticed maybe a few minutes ago downstairs. I looked at Brooke and I said, Brooke, yeah, I like you so much. And she said, I because I was really trying to find like the perfect response, like the sweetest response I could craft. Although it did take me a sec yeah it's okay i know she loves me deep down you had a happy christmas your boyfriend came to christmas he came to christmas no he came to thanksgiving they love him everyone loves him so much and i love that they love him and they hate everyone i feel like everyone i've ever dated my parents gave like a

lifelong ban from their home so it's really nice to have like an opposite reaction. He landed on Christmas Eve at midnight and Deborah still like took the time to make him a stocking and shit. Oh, of course. I remember she made me an Easter basket one year and I cried. Yeah, she's the sweetest thing on making everyone feel included.

And there were so many of us on Christmas morning and it was really sweet. And he didn't want to spend Christmas with his family? It's not that. His mom's in California. So he'll probably see her. His dad was like, go, like go go his dad like loves me so it was like really sweet and like i don't know hawaii christmas is also different they all just kind of like barbecue on a beach yeah you know what i wonder i guess we already talked about this i think on canceled but

what the fuck can you believe that in australia they just have summer christmas and there's no movies about it like you just never think about that yeah why are's no movies about it. Like, you just never think about that. Yeah, why are there no movies about that? Like, Christmas is just hot and sunny. Is there a fucking high-speed police chase outside? Do you know every house on my street except for mine has been robbed? Well, it's probably the full-time security you're paying.

Thank God. But, like, across the street the other day, there was helicopters and shit outside. And a guy went in to rob the house at gunpoint and the entire family ran outside and they called the police and there happened to be police like one street over so they came and then they were holding the guy like guns drawn outside of our house all the neighbors came out to watch and then it was a light-skinned um like 5'8 black guy in a black hat and Amari was light- skinned 5'8 and was wearing a black hat.

And he'd like take the hat off and run inside. He was like so scared. That was his whole thing. How do you know it wasn't Amari? It's true. Maybe Amari's just out here like the bling ring on a heist. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your dread's worn down or you need a new wheel.

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when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local TreadExperts. That's honestly, I'm like TW Heist. Can we talk about the heist? No. No. How was your Christmas then? My Christmas honestly was so cute and wholesome and amazing

i saw my sister i haven't seen my sister in a while and she's so fucking funny i wish you could hang out with her she's the funny like i always think like where'd the where'd my funny come from and i found out that she's like way funnier than me really like quick funny or more wild funny she's like quick she's just like you just have to meet her. I remember when Lila met her, she was like, wow, I didn't expect that. I saw my grandparents, obviously. I saw your TikTok about your grandparents. Oh, my God. Do you remember that time you and I got dinner at like Yesabel and we meant to be like so

wholesome and then we scream cried the entire dinner. Literally scream cried. Yeah. Yeah. I do remember that. My grandma, he paints her name. He literally she's like his little doll because obviously she has like dementia she can't she completely non-verbal

like doesn't do anything did you does she talk at all no not anymore but my grandpa like he literally like puts her hair in a little ponytail and he like paints her nails and just pushes her like he's it's like a little doll and it's so horrible and sad, but it's also like the sweetest, cutest thing. I know. You sent me photos of them the other day and you kind of look like them a little.

They're little wedding photos. They got married when they were 19. Isn't that so crazy that that used to just be such a thing? It was crazy. Debra was showing me

her family books and I'd never seen photos of her as a kid and I was like, I want to see what my mommy looked like as a little child, you know? And she was showing me and it was like Debbie's first Christmas 1981 like I was born in 1998 like she had a mark she's so young yeah yeah like and

it's just that's so crazy to me that that was like the norm that is really crazy my mom had I was the third kid and she was 22 and she had me really yeah and then she was oh wait speaking of people there are there's speculation online that i have a secret sister what do you mean that i've been hiding i saw like somebody post they were like um saying like brooke brooke keeps this sister a secret but like she has this sister and like yada yada it's my second sister megan i never really talk about megan because we didn't grow up together really but i have a second sister i Megan. I never really talk about Megan because we didn't grow up together, really. But I have a second sister. I also have a brother. Does Megan have the same dad? No, no two kids have the same two parents. So me and my sisters all have different dads and me and my brother have a different mom. And speaking of secret siblings, I when I was

speaking of secret siblings is crazy when I was younger, so I have these two cousins. Wait, everybody keep up really quick because this is going to get confusing. Okay. I have two cousins, Alexa and Sergio. Okay. And I grew up with them. Like I was always with their mom, whatever. And obviously my brother has a different mom.

Let's call her Stacy. Stacy, after leaving my dad and having a kid with my dad, obviously, started dating my mom's sister. Okay. So my aunt. Okay. So your aunt starts dating Stacey. So my cousins lived with my little brother, but none of us were allowed to tell him that he was my little brother. So we just, they thought they were best friends, but they were cousins and they didn't know.

What? When did he get to find that out? Why couldn't he know that he was your brother? Because there was just I don't know, like it was some drama between like, you know, Stacy and my dad. And like no one wanted I don't know. He just didn't know. He didn't know he had siblings. OK, so he didn't know I was his sister and I would be around him and I knew he was my little brother. But like we weren't allowed to tell him and they were like they were cousins. But like also, why is Stacy dating my aunt all of a sudden how did that happen I don't know like your dad would bring her around your mom and no I mean it's Tucson and they all ran in the same circles because they all like had common common interests like it's like knitting

crack yeah anyway he knows he's my sister now or brother how did he find out was it like a birthday card yeah we definitely like 23 and me told him but like probably when he was like 10 like it was like we were old i remember the time it was so strange because i could never say anything i want to know why so bad i don't know why i really don't honestly sound off in the comments you told me something today and we decided we would save it for the podcast brooks caring today guys give it up for brooke in the comments below, please, because I'm just, you know, I have nothing to give. You told me today that you hoard yourself out on Christmas.

No, I unsuccessfully hoard myself out on Christmas because I had high hopes for this Christmas break. OK, first of all, I've told you before about my high school one that got away. Yes. And by one that got away, I mean somebody who I was, he was like the first person who broke my heart in high school. Okay. We all have those. He did me so dirty.

Then we went to college and he slept with every single girl in my sorority, all my sisters. And I was just heartbroken over him for so long. And he wanted nothing to do with me. Okay. And look at now. at now he is so excited to see me when I come home. So I really thought I was going to do that. And I just couldn't bring myself to do it. What do you mean? Like he wanted to hang out? Yeah. He's like, let me take you to dinner. Like, let me, um, be a gentleman just this one time. Like, let me take you to dinner.

And I'm like, I really thought I was going to go and I couldn't go. Also, I have a crush on this basketball player that you know about. We love him. The most unfortunate thing ever happened where he set me up with his friend. How does that come about? What do you mean? I thought you were going to hook up with him. I thought so too.

And he sent me, well, not, I don't know, but he sent me a video of his friend and was like, he's talking about you, blah, blah, blah. And so I was like, oh, like, who is that? And he like told me. Basketball player as well? Yeah. Same team, 6 610 610 610 i'm sorry i'm having a really really hot honestly 610 so i was like 10 can't hurt 610 that's seven feet tall that's not even right like i don't even think that that's like he could actually pick you up with two fingers like a little fucking rag doll yeah so i was like you know what i'll entertain it and he's we were like talking all the whole time i was gone so sweet like just like really asking all the good questions

and then he's like oh i'm actually um he's like i'm flying to phoenix today for um a game and i'm like wait i'm in phoenix and he was like way. So then I was supposed to meet up with him. And then I couldn't do that either. Do you mean couldn't because you're being loyal to someone? Yeah. Is this warranted loyalty? Do you think this is matched loyalty? That's all I want to know.

God, I don't know. But I wish I knew. Should we go full FBI right now? No, I don't want to know. That's fair. I decided. I think that's a really good thing, though, like to be loyal to someone just because you want to. Well, I can't like more than one person at a time.

I'm like hats off to those who can. I don't anymore. I'm clean. Yeah. But I just like I don't know. I just think until I know it's almost like a defense mechanism. I think it's not like that. I understand wanting to do it for like safety so that like if something goes wrong, you

don't feel like you waste like put your eggs all in one basket. That's exactly what I mean. Like I can't until I know that they feel the same way. But I'm also such a like three weeks in. What are we? I know. I'm just I'm really scared of that this time because I like I'm way too scared of it. Just I don't want to know.

I really do feel like dick cures everything. Like if I have a hangover or if I have a headache. I'm not kidding. It is like, you're so right. Like if I'm like upset, like it's just like,

it's such a good little like DIY serotonin. Yeah, it's like putting your feet in hot water. It's just like that. It really is. Last night I got so wildly high by accident.

Like we went to Malibu and we smoked with Hunter, but we smoked like way too much and way too much like good weed. And I came home and I was like, oh, this is perfect. I'm going to get dick to like become less high. And not kidding. And normally that works completely. And the entire time I was having sex, I was like, I felt like I was in like a VR headset like I felt like I was like a maybe you were maybe you were just that high right at one point he like put a vibrator somewhere I don't even want to say where and I was somewhere I just felt it like in my spine like it just like wasn't okay and afterwards we had this whole conversation where we both

admitted to each other that we were having sex to try to get less high and it didn't work for either one of us and then i slept for 14 hours oh god i went to bed at like 9 p.m and woke up at like 11 well you're well rested at least no and then i took a nap today later like i woke up still high oh shit what were you smoking crack apparently i don't know no i don't think crack i think crack would have the opposite effect yeah i'd probably like it i'll stay away from it yeah please stay away from crack well i can't handle that i've got enough going on seriously would you ever like can you tell i have no topics because i was really about to ask you what it would take for you to smoke crack because there's an answer no i think okay, because crack is what? Crack is you smoke cocaine, kind of. It's like unfiltered coke.

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19 plus to wager Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I wouldn't try it, but it wouldn't be the craziest thing considering we've tried every other drug. Because I haven't done heroin or meth. Actually, I have done meth. What's the difference between meth and crack?

I've definitely done a fake Molly. I don't know what the difference between meth and crack is. What did we learn this year? There's a meth pipe. I know. Oh, oh my god have you ever smelt a meth pipe i've never smelt a meth pipe but i have seen one what does it smell like it there's like i could never describe it if you had to get rid of one of your senses like what would you choose obviously smell is like the obvious answer because that's the only thing that's like you're not going to get rid of your sight or hearing if you could just maybe taste, though.

Well, smell gets rid of your taste. Tori doesn't have any smell or taste. Kind of like an awesome DIY health. No, it's not. Because since she can't. So like if you were to plug your nose and eat something, you can like barely taste it. But you can tell when something's really, really sweet, really, really salty or like spicy. So like then she's always reaching for like junk junk foods because that's the only time she can like feel something yeah whoa that's crazy oh yeah we have the least amount of words

like in the in the language to describe smell like there's only so many words you can use to describe smells whereas you can like describe sight in like a million ways whoa i've never thought about that that was profound that was profound why am i ai today it was it was borrowed brooke that was so profound what's going on yeah what i feel like i'm pressing a button and you're giving me an automated response i know this is what happens when i'm sober i think i love it so i've lived in a few houses with amari's family like we had the one that we had in like middle school and then there was the one we had in high school and then like right after we got out of high school or as we like I didn't get out of high school I dropped out but like that time you know um they moved into another house and it's

been the same house since you know and they've been renting it and the owner wants to put it up for sale and they like would buy it but there's a lot wrong with it so they can't so they have to move and I'm this was my last time in the house. They moved January 1st. And I felt like that Hannah Montana fucking scene. You know what I mean? Yeah. I've had moments like that.

It is a hard. I had one house that like I lived in two separate times. And it's so I literally drove by it when I was home this week because I was like, it's so emotional. But it's like I'm so sad because it's also like Amir and Mia are little siblings. Like when I was growing up and like in middle school and stuff, they were like too young to really kick it, you know? And like even when we were in high school, it was like they were still like our little siblings, like obviously always looking out for them, always loving them but it wasn't until they kind of turned 18 and like 19 in 2021 like so on and so forth that they could like really kick it with us you know and like talk about grown shit and

whatever so i feel like this house like holds the most bonding and like memories yeah i mean you're still gonna do that anywhere but it is it's hard going home like for example i go home now to a house i never lived in yeah and it makes me sad because i'm like this isn't my this isn't my house like i don't feel at home there. I know. I also have my own bedroom at this house and it's a five bedroom house

and obviously as parents, as they get older, you know, you have no business having a five bedroom house except for, you know, one week a year. Yeah, exactly.

So it's like, Amari has a room, I have a room, Mia has a room, Amir has a room and like, I don't get a room anymore and we're going to put bunk beds

in the fucking room and I'm so sad. Honestly, so fun though. Imagine you and Amari in your little bunk beds. I know four of them actually. We're going to be in bunk beds forever. On our tour bus, we are going to be in bunk beds forever.

Are you more of a top or a bottom girl? I think I should have top. Although I don't know. I don't want your, you're like, you're like Taco Bell stench. What the fuck Brooke? I'll eat it in the goddamn living room

the bus i actually like the bottom wait should we let's let's talk logistics okay yes we make up our tour rules right yeah let's make up our tour rules okay wait do you think i feel like we can probably be on like opposite sides you being unfazed by that is why you're my best friend maybe why maybe we can both be on like the same level but side by side that's kind of like because then we can open the curtain and like yeah you know what i mean i like the bottom i don't like the top because the crawling you have to kind of like crawl up there like it feels like ladder you know when i was a baby or a kid i was on the top bunk me and my sister had bunk beds and there was no railing so sometimes i would just roll off onto the ground in the middle of the night my mom would have to pick

me up and put me back. How old were you? Four, five. Like that's bone breaking. Yeah. That's a bone breaking status. That's a little crazy. I never broke any bones. Why wouldn't she put your sister on the top?

Isn't she older? Nobody knows. Anyway. Yeah. I think consensuses were side by side. So then we could like if we wanted to just like randomly hold hands, we could. That's really lit. I agree with that.

You know, you can't shit on a tour bus. Yeah. Well, you can. But imagine how much we're going to have to stop. I think you just take that one final. I'm a morning shitter, though, actually. So I just like your favorite thing to say is that you can hold your shit and it's not a real thing.

You lie about it every time. I can hold everything so well. You cannot. I'm a left. I proved you wrong. time i can hold everything so well you cannot i'm a i proved you wrong i have video evidence what do you mean of you saying you she literally said i can hold my shit i never i'm never gonna have a time where i just have to shit and literally that same day she was leaking like what are you talking about on tour this last time it's in my blog i don't know what you're talking about i really don't no i'm not saying i never have to shit i'm saying well it also said you said you could

you can always hold it and that's not the case and it's not definitely not the case for me i've got like borderline ibs i'll be in pain but like it's not gonna come out obviously there is a discrepancy of like watery shit and like yeah solid shit yeah like if it's solid shit let's go let's go on a road trip to fucking Niagara Falls. Yeah, I agree with that. But like, you know, occasionally you have

some watery shit and it's not really like the journey as much, you know, and that's, and that's okay. Do you know that I do this really weird thing

with Ty Collins? Like I'm a fast shitter. I'm a really talented fast shitter. Like I don't, if I go to a guy's house, like I'm not even worried. Like I'll just be like,

oh, I have to pee. Like I can get it out. I need to take my time. But it's like,'s a luxury like I want to just I want to sit on TikTok like I want to chill I agree with that but I'm saying like if I need to get it out and no one knows like I can oh you can and I do this bit with Ty Collins where he starts a stopwatch and I go shit and we try to see how fast I can do it in and do you know my record time is a minute and eight seconds wow that's actually bullshit.

That's really good. And whenever I tell him like that, I took a fast shit. Like I text him like whenever I take a really fast shit, like I have to text him and let him know. That's really nice. No sex on the bus. Obviously in the living room. I like only food in the living room. I'm with that.

No food in the bunks. Weird. No friends. Lila today was like, do I get on the bus? I love her at the shows, but I'm scared about the living environments. Weird. No friends. Lila today was like, do I get on the bus? I love her at the shows, but I'm scared about the living environments. I don't know. It's a whole different ball game now. I know. Although Lila was really good for my mental health on the last tour. Yeah. She is just like she lightens everything. She makes it feel way less like work and like, you know,

but it just like it's a bus. So it's almost like it's no matter who the person, the more people, the less convenient it is. Yeah, I agree with that. I wonder if we're going to like all the people we go with, too, because like I've had bus drivers that are awesome. Bus drivers that are like clearly on crack. Bus drivers like, you know, to our managers. I think you have to be on crack to be a bus driver. Right? I agree with that.

I do. How's the Bronco, though, for the road trippies? It was so good. And my grandparents were, well, my grandpa was so excited to see it. Really? It was so cute and my grandparents were, well, my grandpa was so excited to see it. Really? It was so cute. That is really cute. And they put a little

dash cam in it and like, they were just so excited. They did? What does the dash cam do? It videotapes the road so if you ever get in an accident or something,

no one can blame you for it because you have video evidence. Unless, of course, it's your fault in which case I would just throw out the tapes. But what, you have to put an SD card in it

and like charge it? Yeah, but it like, it just fills the whole SD card and then it redoes it. So like if you were to get in an accident, then you can just immediately get it off. You could probably make a really fun sex tape on that, like on the hood of your car. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I was thinking like if I'm ever like really on a fun, like beautiful road trip, I could just include it in my vlog.

Oh, whoa. I see. That's a way better like thought process. Yeah, I wasn't thinking sex tape right away because like who's behind the wheel i've been really and why am i on the hood of the car i've been really wanting to release a sex tape lately you should do a pet cam uh version the other night i was in the hot tub and things got a little steamy steamy and i forgot that there's a camera on the back of your steamy steamy. The way I didn't even process it.

I'm just blocking it out. And then I remember we had a camera in the backyard. And I was like, wow, I could really do something with that footage. You know what I mean? The thing is, I don't think anyone who's even looking at those cameras would blink twice at you getting railed in the hot tub, to be honest. That's so true. That's really true. Do you want to know something that happened to me the other day?

Sure. It's not sexual, don't worry. It's actually very nice. But it's really true. Do you want to know something that happened to me the other day? Sure. It's not sexual, don't worry. It's actually very nice. But it's not nice. So when I lived at Weed Lake in 2020 or whatever, I had two phones. I was in my two phones era. I had my personal phone and my work phone, right? And my work phone was this phone and I had another phone.

The day before we were supposed to move out out I put my phone on that piano over there but it was downstairs by Hunter's room and I just like walked upstairs and like there were always people in and out of that house as well though and that was kind of like the problem with this um I walked upstairs and like eight hours later I walked back downstairs to like get my phone and it was gone so then I had an entire like search party in the house for the next like five days for this phone like find my iPhone I tried everything you possibly can to find a phone and like the house obviously was very big and like it that made it harder but like i had everyone on the case like it was not in that house and then i moved so we had like every mover like on the lookout for it as well like everyone just like any corner it was

like honestly the perfect time to normally find a phone because there were so many people in the house like looking for it and taking everything whatever I never found the phone and it haunts me to this day oh like someone's out there with all your sex tapes so the other day Amari and I are sitting on the couch and he was like why did you just call me and I was like I didn't call you like I'm sitting next to him you know and then he looks at it again he's like wait this isn't Tana like whatever it said Tana trap phone and that was like my OG phone oh yeah I have that Tana trap phone and Tana real phone yeah and he got a call from my old phone whoa and so I put like nine hackers on the case to try to like clear it from their like computers oh my god but you had a passcode on it though right yeah I had this whole existential crisis that if someone ever

found that phone and the stuff on that ever got leaked, I'm just putting it out there right now. I'm moving to Uganda. Really? Is it that bad? Is it like freaky stuff? Because I feel like if it was just a sex tape, like you might be proud of it. There's some I'm proud of, but there's this one. What's the one?

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experts.ca locations from tires to auto repair we're always there but it was like do you know how in the bathroom of a jet like the the door is fully mirrored usually i mean i don't really spend that much time on jets think about yeah okay just think about it yes like the it's mirrored so I made a sex tape like in that mirror okay you know but like club that's impressive no but it was just like from the side and I was it just like not a good not a good video like my back like wasn't arched oh. I had just eaten like so much taco. But like I literally look like really scary. Like really fucking scary. Just say it's not you. Well now you've really put it out there.

It's me. It's just so beyond me. My underwear were coral. I really didn't like them. You should have wiped it. Now that I think about it, I'm going to go through my phone and get rid of anything. You meant the phone? Yeah. So I just really like it I'm gonna go through my phone and get rid of anything yeah so I just really like I'm not kidding I'm not a big sex tape maker to be honest I just get drunk and I'm like this will be fun and sometimes it is I have some really fun ones

with some funny people I feel like I've only I mean I guess I've only been in like one relationship but I don't I just don't even have to be in a relationship oh i used to in that case i'm gonna get on it i really used to now i'm better like i've learned now i'm like not like that but just when i was like young and dumb i was really like that oh my god i just had a situation um this girl i know has the same name as another girl that was hooking up. They were hooking up the same guy and they both have the same name. Okay. And he sent the wrong sex tape to the wrong girl. That's actually fucking crazy.

Imagine. The guy you're talking to. How would you ever recover? Like it's one thing to send somebody like the wrong text or like text the wrong person, which I've done definitely before, like talking shit about somebody to that person. But like sending a sex tape and like imagine a guy you're hooking up with sends you a sex tape and it's not you. I'm slitting, cutting down the river, not even across the stream. Not kidding. That is like, oh, oh, the way I would literally light his house on fire. I remember the first

time I ever did that in my entire life, like sent the wrong text to the wrong person. It was a friend of mine in high school and her name was Bridget Nichols. Hi, Bridget, if you're watching this. But I'm about to talk a lot of shit about you, so click out. Thank God you gave us first and last name. I'm kidding, but I'm not kidding. We were really good friends in high school

and she had a hot ass older brother, Jack Nichols. I don't know where he is now. Jack Nicholson. Right. And he was super hot. And so I'd always be at the house and like see him like pass through the halls and like we started flirting eventually duh and I was like stoked on this

moment he was out of my league you know and we start texting and then she like goes to school and she's like livid that I'm like talking to her brother but it like I hated friends like that who gives up as someone's always hotter too because they're your friend's brother so if your friend's not down with it that's just selfish and it's not like he was like some virgin like he was a fucking whore like football player like piece of shit anyways you know what i mean and to me it always just gives like you want your brother like if this doesn't affect you like who cares i agree like who cares at all and so I wrote off this entire text to my best friend, Monique, like about how Bridget wants to fuck her brother and she's a fucking freak.

And like, she's a brother fucker, like how she wants her fucking brother. And I'm going to fuck her brother anyways, because I don't give a fuck. Like I think she's fucking weird and being weird as fuck. And I sent it to her. I sent it to her.

I was at the bottom of my staircase in my town home about to leave for school. And I just sat there for like 10 minutes. You should have put like her mom or someone on the case, like destroy that phone and I will give you a million dollars. It was too late. She responded immediately and she said, what? And then I said, are you ready for what I said? I told her. I don't think I am.

I go, I don't remember which friend it was, but I was like, that's what monica said about you she just sent me this text like i tried to play it off you're going straight to prison like i was sending her a text but it was just so clear that it like wasn't me like you know and she was like you're a fucking lying dumbass like have fun with my brother we never recovered we were never friends again honestly really valid bridget i get i get where you're coming from i never did it either. I've had a couple friends like that who are definitely like brother fuckers. You know what I mean? Like even like just any kind of brother and sister relationship that's too close.

I'm like, what's why? I just like probably like six months ago was talking to a guy like that where I was like, your sister wants to fuck you. Like she had like all these nicknames for him and she like kiss him on the forehead. Or when they like spend like so much time together and they like go on like weird dates. Yes. And like the gifts you would buy her.

Maybe I'm being bad because it's like some people just do have healthy like relationships with their family. And maybe we just don't. I love my siblings. There's a difference. It's the same thing with the mommy complex. Like when you know, you know. Like it's like, oh, you want to fuck them.

Yeah. You know. I always hate the moms too. Like moms or sisters that like moms, especially that don't want their like will never approve of a girlfriend of their sons. And it's like you want your son. So you know how I said that I was dating that guy in the beginning of this year and whatever he wanted his mom.

And yeah. And on our first date, I've told this story on the podcast, but on our first date, he was like, I like you so much because you look like my mom. And I was like, oh, that's so sweet. But wasn't, wasn't at all. He wanted his mom so bad. Anyways, he has a new girlfriend. I can't express this enough to you.

Does she look exactly like his mom? Identical. Oh, wow. Like he posted a photo of her and I thought it was his mom. Wait, that's. I thought exactly like his mom identical oh like he posted a photo of her and i thought it was his mom wait that's i thought it was his mom i do not fuck with that see that should have been a red flag you ignored that red flag and you it should have been major you know i look back on some guys that i've talked to and i'm like how the fuck did you ignore that? Like I had one guy who had a who had a ring light for our first FaceTime call. He was he used a ring light on FaceTime. I'm holding my breath and I know who it is and I just hate him.

Same guy who sent me a B.O.B. song and said, this reminds me of you. So many things. So many fucking things. Do you know that I have a friend's mom right now and i'm really close with her and we talk a lot and she just got married right and she'd already been married to like my friend's dad for a while and they divorced for like a long time and recently got married to this guy and she's like he's the love of my life like they met each other like i don't remember how they met but it was like really cute and like she's super happy and like blended the

families like everything and they finally get married they have speeches at their wedding they're sobbing about how much they love each other like whole nine she quits her job because she's like perfectly I'm settled down now like he's the breadwinner like this is okay like I'm excited for this life like whatever you know He's had a girlfriend the entire time. He married her. And he made a speech at their wedding about how much he loves her. And how she, whatever. And has had a girlfriend the entire time.

And now she has no job. She has to move out of their house. But imagine at, like, 45. Absolutely not. After you've already abandoned, like, every other, like, thing you had going for you. No, no, no. That is so fucking horrible i i can't believe that really happens to people like people who end up like finding out that their

husband has like a whole separate family and shit yeah i mean i guess that like low-key kind of happened to me but on like a really small scale yeah and i just think it's different when you're younger yeah it's so different especially like having kids and stuff like how traumatic that would be i also like you know what i have been thinking about a lot recently is like, you know, you think of it like we've seen so many of our friends' parents get divorced and like that's like such a normal thing and stuff. But I am thinking about it now and I'm like how traumatic a breakup is. Could you imagine like you were married and you have kids like and I feel like no parent is ever like really torn up about it and stuff I feel like if that happened to me I would have to like send my kids away yeah I think

parents like hide it really well for the sake of their kids god I just never have really never put thought into like how hard that must be until recently yeah it's horrible it really is my grandparents have been together since they were 13 years old no way and they have you think they've ever had sex with any other people? I know it's your grandparents, but I just don't know. No, yes, I know. I know because my grandpa was in the army and they like, they broke up for like a year while he was in the army.

And like he was in the army. They'd be fucking in the army, right? Yeah. Oh my God. I'd have so much sex. I'd be so bored. But she didn't. She told me.

They're so cute. That's's actually insane that's so cute my dad has a new girlfriend she looks or she's literally the same as my mom it's like the weirdest thing also i'm 27 years old my dad has never had a girlfriend in my entire life except for now and it's so strange she's how old i don't know how old she is wait what did you just say she just acts exactly like my mom she has like the same like weird tendencies my mom has you know how my mom will like my mom will like show up somewhere with nine bluetooth speakers and you're like why do you have all of these and you just don't understand why same thing his new girlfriend will show up with like three remote control cars and i like, why'd you bring these?

Like, it's just like really strange, like similarities between the two that I'm like, God, sometimes you just never get away from your first love. People have a type and it's scary. What's yours? Horrible, terrible,

demented people. But I've done everything. I've done everything to get away from it. I think I'm in like the healthiest, happiest place in my life. I said, I love you yesterday. I know.

Oh my God god i love that oh god i want to be in love but then i cried it's like how traumatized are you that like you tell someone you love them and you just start crying that's scary i know it's so scary are you how long you guys have been together not long enough to probably say that no i don't i don't believe in that i think like you can love somebody in like literally 30 minutes i love him more than i've loved people that i've been with for a very long time. I've also like genuinely like been in love with people that I fucking hate. Yeah, truly. Like my last relationship, I literally hated him. And then it's like you look back and it's like, was I in love or was that a trauma bond? Like it

was definitely a trauma bond. Yeah. But I don't know. That's the thing. I'm like, I feel like I'm experiencing actual like real love and being nurt nurtured for the first time in a long time. I'm happy for you. I want that really bad. That's my goal in the new year, since you asked. My goal in the new year is a healthy relationship, a safe relationship, where I am the only one seeing him at the same time. Yeah, that's a good goal. And that's important to say because my last like three, honestly, yeah, have been polyamorous relationships I didn't know about,

which is actually kind of crazy. I think it's going to come for you. I think that when like everything else falls in line and like you stop kind of looking like you're going to be distracted and on tour and not looking. And I think or maybe it's the person you're with now. Like, I don't you know, I have high hopes for that. Which I do love. I love him for you. I do. My only goals for the new year really are to stop vaping.

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The problem is, that's the problem. The problem is I'm going to miss it so much. I really love vaping. I tried vaping last night. Really? How was it? I'm like, my goal in the new year is to start. No, it was fine.

I just wanted to try it. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I just really love it. But I know I need to stop and to start saying no to like more things and everything. I'm already having people just ask me to like do so much work on like the second. And I'm like, wait, but I want to be in Hawaii. And I want to just focus on tour and focus on myself and my well-being. And yeah, I think we're going to have a good like hardworking year.

Hopefully I've been getting lazy toward the end of the year. Like I haven't posted a YouTube video in a month. But I think that senioritis kind of happens too. It is. And the holidays do take up a lot of different type of energy. Well, I just feel like nothing I'm making is like worth even posting. So I'm just like, that's not true. Don't let it.

Don't know it. Like, you know what I mean? But it's like, I don't know. It's not like I have like any sort of deadline, but I just like haven't wanted to do anything. And I want to be like really good in the new year. I think that our tour. I actually agree with that. I'm going to get all my late vlogs out in the beginning of the new year.

So I can start fresh. I love that when you'll post like a Valentine's Day vlog in December. I'm posting from Turk soon. That was six months ago. Do you know that on December 24th, that's my half birthday. Ryan told me this the other day, unwarranted. He was just like, do you know that on December 24th, you'll be officially closer to 30 than you are to 20?

Like because it's your half birthday. Why would he say I don't know I cried I know I'm like I have a weird thing where I always like say the next year so I always I keep telling people I'm 28 and I'm not that's actually kind of smart so then you're like a little satisfied with like not being 28 yeah but I'm 20 I don't know well I am 20 if you know the thing like where they say like when you're born you don't, you don't start at one. Yeah, you start at zero. Yeah, you start at zero. So really, I'm in my 28th year right now because my first birthday was one and I was already a whole year old at that time. So when I turned 27,

I had full 27 years behind me and I'm in my 28th year. Don't like it. Nope, nope, nope. Hate it. Don't like it at all. Don't like it at all. So like you're what? just turned 25, 25. So this is you're living right now. You're 26th year. And when you turn 27 or wait, 26, 26, you'll be starting your 27th year. Um, I really appreciate what you've said, but I will never be thinking about it again. Thank you. You're welcome everybody. What are your thoughts on the Simone B biles situation i don't know a lot about it i'm not gonna lie she's an icon she's a legend um and he's just ken like it's just some guy right

she has 30 olympic medals olympic medals 30 yeah i just almost fell down going up the stairs simone biles is the most decorated gymnast in the world. Okay. Her husband, obviously. Did you see the clips? He goes on an interview. He's on a podcast like you and I. And the interviewer asks him.

But straight men just shouldn't do that. Yeah. Just ever. Unless you're like Dave Portley. It never ends well. They say like, how did you land Simone Biles? And he literally, he's like, how did she land Simone Biles and he literally he's like how did she land me like I wasn't even after her I didn't know who she was when we met I was like who is this girl

like I noticed she had a lot of followers and then we would go out and like people would like stop on the street and look at her and he was like I just didn't understand I haven't followed gymnastics I knew nothing about her basically saying like she was so unimportant. And he was like, yeah, she chased me like she was trying so hard, like all this stuff. And they're still together. The nerve. Yeah, they're still together. And she doubled. She like defended him. And I'm like, no, she didn't what she say. She was like, call me his wife or something. And she was like, are you guys done yet or something? Because obviously everybody's like trolling him so hard. And I get that. You know what? I've been a victim as well of just an absolute fucking loser um manipulating me into thinking

that he's way better on my side but what a disappointing thing like she is that's just crazy like is it his her husband yeah and it's like even if you didn't know at the time you know now so you had the opportunity to sit there and like hype up hype up your fucking wife literally superstar legend wife and instead you used it as an opportunity to make yourself look like a fucking idiot and it really just is like all men like men just say dumb shit i think that's just the whole species but like that's so sad and pathetic and he should probably like anything I would say would just get me in trouble I have to stop speaking in hyperbole I was about to say that he should yeah because you

kept saying you were gonna kill yourself and people was like stop can I tell you what makes me literally so infuriated I want to fucking trot my own hair off I love that you said that after we talked about speaking in hyperbole yes i hate all the stupid fucking idiot moms who make their kids adhere to their aesthetic okay and what i mean by that is wrapping their kids gifts in all moody neutral wrapping paper making sure that they don't have any colored toys in the house because it disrupts the like yeah that's horrible vibe of the living room it makes me literally fucking sick to my stomach when i see a kid who's not allowed to wear like my little pony on their shirt because it's like it's not like what are

you doing i couldn't agree more it makes me so fucking upset like imagine could you imagine like think about how exciting color was too as a kid like how fun it was to walk into a classroom and like everything's so bright and colorful and stuff could you imagine like how you would feel as a child walking around and everything you just have like a nude velvet ball yeah yeah that is horrible terrible and all because your mom wants to fucking post you on her instagram story i thought you were gonna talk about um almond moms like making their kid like i also fucking hate almond moms so much so much more than anything yeah that's true i don't know same kids should just have fun i'm still like that

like i love peppa fucking pig you know it makes me so sad like god like for what my only i don't know one even gives a fuck to see your kids on instagram i don't care you're like let them have fun let them wear paw patrol be there on the double bitch no don't you don't even have to post them in fact you shouldn't yeah so real beyond, bitch. No, you don't even have to post them. In fact, you shouldn't. Yeah. So real. Beyond real. You ate with that.

Unless it's Malibu Barbie. I want to see her all day, every day, seriously. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. No notes on that, though. You're very right. See, fuck I said. No notes is so funny.

I love no notes right now. Who started no notes? I saw it. Wait, I think actually maybe you told me that. I just started saying it, but I guarantee you I heard it somewhere else. Oh, Hannah Burner. Oh, that's very Hannah Burner coded. I love her.

Me too, so much. I saw her podcasting today about she got a confession that a girl called in and said it was her dream to be gang banged. You called? You called Hannah? I called that. Kidding. I don't need to do that anymore.

Need? I can't even like say shit right if my life fucking depended on it. I don't want to do that and never have. Yeah, I don't think that's ever been really in my cards i just said anal for the first time in a while the other day how was it tell me about it walk me through it it was so amazing i don't know it was magical what were you seeing stars not kidding that's nice this is like yeah i still haven't really dabbled in that and i told you guys you would be the first to know when i do but i actually don't think that that's true you just have to be like a little loose with it you know like take a gabapentin i'll take three seven i don't abuse

drugs can we talk have you seen heidi montag's videos where she's calling the paparazzi and she's like walking everybody through it no it's so amazing you have to see it she's been making these tiktoks and she's like okay you guys i'm going shopping i called the paparazzi he's gonna meet me here at this time she goes like here's one bag um this one has a bag see it. She's been making these TikToks and she's like, okay, you guys, I'm going shopping. I called the paparazzi. He's going to meet me here at this time. She goes like, here's one bag. This one has a bag in it.

This one's just empty. She's like so transparent about it, about how she just calls the pops. And like one of the times like there was a mix up. So like she had to call a different one. And then like the time

It makes me so mad that like every celebrity and influencer and shit pretend like they don't call the paparazzi i don't know what it is that makes me so mad because it's like i'm being left out in the dust because i've just been honest about it in the beginning and then like i'll see celebrities when you when you step forward to be honest about something and nobody steps forward with you at all and it's like i'm friends with all these paparazzis and they tell me like so and so is calling everyone

is calling julia fox actually just wrote in her book about um Bobby the pop and like meeting up with him and how he like makes her feel so like makes her feel so like seen you know he is the best he did me such a service at stagecoach I'll never forget what did he do it was at stagecoach with a brand and I was wearing the brand obviously because I had deliverables I had to post a photo in the brand but that was wearing the brand obviously because I had deliverables I had to post a photo in the brand but that was my only requirement so once I had taken my photo I took the outfit off and I changed into my normal outfit but I didn't realize after that they had they had hired Bobby to come do photos of us like for the brand and I wasn't wearing the outfit anymore I had thrown it

away because I I didn't want to carry it around all day. So it was gone. So he literally took photos of Olivia Kaiser and like submitted them as me. That's actually crazy. He's like, Brooke, come over here. It was Olivia took photos and it was like he it was like played off as his mistake. He's actually such a real one for that. Do you keep up with his Instagram stories? Yeah, he's been he's out here like really exposing people sometimes he's my favorite paparazzi because he's been so wronged by like major major like a list as a list as they get and they'll call him and then the celebrity will like wrong him and he'll come on and be like this fucking nepo baby just called me the other day to meet her outside of her house and then she fucking called another

paparazzi and used his photos like he'll just go in that's so crazy i love people who are like that who are just not even afraid of like of like losing opportunities yeah it's lit it is so lit he knows he'll always like get to sometimes it's just necessary though like there i've seen so many videos of like hayley candle all of them like when if you have the outfit you need a photo of it i understand like get out of your car take a few steps and get back in. Yeah, I 100% understand. I just wish anyone else would come forward because it's starting to get real embarrassing. Well, it's obvious. I get mad, though, sometimes because, like, now that people learned that celebrities can

call the paparazzi, they've, like, run with it too far where they're like, they just can't even imagine someone going outside and actually getting. I would say 85% of celebrity paparazzi shots are staged and then the 15 is them leaving a popular restaurant or club yeah or like community goods yeah who was your least favorite person this year like consecutively like who is consistently like the most upsetting person in our friend group or like no just in general i feel like four months ago i would have said bryce hall but i'm okay now okay but you have to understand it's 2023 as a whole. Like who is the biggest disappointment in 2023?

Maybe me. Oh. That got dark. I don't know. I really don't know. I'm trying to really think. Mod Sun, I guess, really upset me a lot this year. Yeah, that was a bummer.

Such a wild bummer. What about you? I feel like I just kind me a lot this year. Yeah, that was a bummer. Such a wild bummer. What about you? I feel like I just kind of loved everyone this year. It's such a positive year. I really did have such a good year, though, compared to like, oh, God, the end of last year when I was a little suey. Yeah, I guess that's true. This year for me wasn't upsetting, but I do feel like in my entire 25 years of life, I

learned the most this year. Yeah, it was a very transformative year for me. I mean, this is the most that's ever happened in the year in my life. Yeah, this year was the first time I tried like 75 hard. This year was the first time I like just noticed a lot of different tried. So being sober for 75 days gets me every time. I learned a lot about myself and toxic relationships and what I want and don't want in the future and actually kind of sticking to that in a lot of

ways. I feel like this was the first year I had like existential crises about like L.A. and my job and life and remembering that there's this was the first year in 10 years where I felt like I learned that there's more to life than this bubble in LA and there's more to life. I think it's the age you're at for sure. Social media. I, you know, I feel like even around me, I realized who was going to grow up and grow with me and people that I would potentially have to leave behind. And that that's a big thing that comes with like age. And I was really excited to learn that. Learned a lot about like spending and making money and what I want to do in the future. Just a lot of different things.

What I want to do with my job. This was the year of the canceled podcast. I know. I was just going to say, I'm so happy we got canceled back, first of all, because we didn't even know at the start of the year, we had no idea if it was even coming back, which is actually really crazy. And it's the other day I like went to the mall or I went somewhere. I don't remember what it was.

And I met like 30 people back to back to back to back that just said, I love the podcast. And I was like, I don't know if I've even when I did like MTV and get a lot of people that were like, I love the MTV show or like a lot of people that are like, I love your this, but I've never felt like it's so apparent how much people love this one thing I'm doing. Yeah. I could tell because like this was the first time I've ever gone home and really experienced it. Especially like I went out with my all my girlfriends last night and it was like same thing, just so many people. And like they were like, what the fuck? Like, it's wild. It's and I feel like even that even in this last month, I learned like that next year, I really do just want to put my foot into this podcast. Me too. Should we make that a goal of 2024?

It's a huge goal. Like I want to put. Are you listening Spotify? I want to tour. I want to make the shows the best shows possible. I want to have the best guests. I want to have the best episodes. This will be the last unplanned one.

I promise I'll come back with heater topics. I think we should. A major resolution of mine is to actually come into every and I know that this is what I should be doing already but just give me a break okay. Coming into every single episode with an actual like concrete list of things that I want to talk about because sometimes you and I just wing it and like it's not always horrible

but. I usually do just as things happen like write them down but I swear to God. You're really good about it. That's why they give you the big books. Like all I have written is Christmas like nothing has just happened like that I really just have nothing to like fucking say but even that like i want to have segments to fall back on i would love to see like what the people want to have is like a segment like is it an advice segment is it like i love like those episodes like or the podcast where people will write in and like ask advice and stuff although i don't

know if anybody wants i mean no one wants my advice maybe they want our bad advice who knows you know um i love when theo von does that like has the voicemails of the people who call in and they all sound like him weirdly he's so funny i think we should start doing that i don't know yeah i've realized just what i want to do with my life and how i want to be and feel and act and yay well you're going in to 2024 with a healthy relationship a very successful podcast um great friend you're half sober yeah you're slaying my face of blunt and take a xanax up for this but and maybe we'll ring in the new year in hawaii i think that we really should i think i definitely that's i decided i want to go to hawaii because like

everywhere else is so like bottle service tables ratchetry part like it's like the party of it all i've been so good that's one thing i did this year like really well is not going to any parties any clubs like honestly like pretty much this whole year i was very i i drank but just came correct about what you're attending nothing but good company I've never I haven't like surrounded myself with anybody I don't want to be around really this year and that was something I was proud of and I definitely want to carry into 2024 I agree with that and like I feel like in the beginning of the year I was a little I was good then I was a little rocky then I was and now I just I know we had every conversation we've had

on this podcast this year was really how I felt about what I was going through and And I meant everything I said, you know, and I've just learned a lot of lessons and it's good. I learned a lot about what I will not accept in a man because I had like each one was like good for one major horrible quality. That's so valid. I feel like I learned a lot about that this year as well. Like why I don't want in someone to finally get to a place of like knowing what I do want in someone, which good I had my first um experience where a guy like was straight up honest with um his intentions recently he like he was we were talking about like what you go into dating thinking about and stuff and he was like I don't go into any date like like go into dating somebody thinking it's gonna end in a. And as stupid as that sounds,

I was like, you know what? I respect you saying that because everybody else pretends they do want a relationship and they don't. Yeah. Or at least who was in my recent experiences? Mr. Six foot ten. Wow. I respect honesty ten times more. If you tell me straight up like I want to have you and five other girlfriends or whatever the fuck like I just, you know. Yeah. And like I get to decide at that point if that's something I'm interested in and sometimes you don't you never know maybe I'm like yeah fuck it like I just want to have fun that's not the state I'm in right now but like I love somebody giving me the option yeah and not just lying to your fucking face I feel like you really had a lot of love life turmoil this year in the regard that I

think the next year but you're gonna take all of that I have but but I was like I didn't have any like major like I didn't take any major losses like I wasn't really upset about this year yeah I guess I was learning lessons not like yeah I wasn't heartbroken over anybody this whole year and that's that was like really a slay because last year I was like gonna die yeah understandable. Who's your favorite fuck of the obviously Makoa? Yeah. Not kidding. I never thought I'd find it again. Yeah and then you just

God. Who is your favorite friend of the year? My favorite friend of the year. You and Hunter. You don't have to lie. I'm not lying. I really you Hunter I guess Amari just reigns true every year for me. Yeah. Amari will always be my You and Hunter. You don't have to lie. I'm not lying. I really you Hunter. I guess Amari just reigns true every year for me. Yeah.

Amari is like more of a century thing. Contrary to popular belief. I really loved Ashley Schwann this year, but she's also kind of forever. Ashley, Isabella and Amari. I do just honestly, I had such a moment with Ashley and Isabella. We were really slaying the Christmas party. Oh, yeah. You went to the Christmas. Me and Isabella went to war for you.

Yeah, I heard about this. So you guys went to a very rich guy's Christmas party and I got there, but I got there really late. I kind of got there as it was ending. Like I had just gotten off a flight. I went home, got ready decently quick, looked like ass showed up. Everyone was there. It was a really fun party, but I just gone to um this guy's house like only a couple weeks before and i'd met this stupid idiot fucking loser what does he do he is coach really yes who i want to know who this is so bad i can show you a photo i screenshotted his instagram because i can't imagine somebody more hideous i'm talking to him he's like asking he was like really nice at first i'm talking to to him saying like, yeah, I mean, I have a podcast

with like Tana Mongeau because he was saying like, I do know. He was like, yeah, I teach. I was like, oh, I have a podcast with Tana. And then he just immediately starts just fucking like talking so horribly about you, like like the way I look. I just it's not important. It's not important what he was. I want to know, I guess all if you i it just it's not important it's not important what he was i want to know i guess all if you're not just well just like it's just i would never repeat like it just there's no need but like i literally my jaw was on the ground because i'm like i just fucking told you that i like we have a podcast together she's like literally my best friend like why the fuck like why would you feel comfortable telling me that and so i literally

was just so disgusted by it and i i didn't say anything in the moment, but I went afterward to everybody who I knew, knew him. Like one of my friends knew him. And I was like, first of all, fire that man. He's a loser. And I just thought I would never see him again. But then I saw him at the Christmas party and I told Isabella the tea and we just went fucking crazy on him. To his face? Yeah. Because he was he came up trying to say hi to me. And I was like, why? Why the fuck are you talking to me? like you're you're weird and you're so horrible what a loser freak i like i appreciate you and isabella first of all i ride for you both absolutely isabella was like really talking some logic into him she was literally like so what what about like your life made you

so miserable to like feel like you have to say those things about people we were like go off isabella she never even told me this those are like some real friends like i just thought about this like today and like this I just don't like it because he's like directly affiliated with people that we know so that like pisses me off yeah why are we having this guy I don't know fire him so I'll have to like look into it but I've always just found it like so wild especially lately like I just lately I don't know what it is but I've been thinking about this like 10 times more than usual. It blows my mind to me that there are like hundreds of thousands of people out there who do not know me, who know 15% of me that I choose to say online that viscerally hate me. And like, I don't know, like can like pick me apart when like, I don't know you and you don't

know me. I know it's so hard though, because we also benefit from that in the same way like our whole we're yeah like everything we do is based on like people loving us in that same way yeah you know what I mean they don't know us either yeah I know it is so weird to me and that that's the thing it's always like balancing that um dichotomy is like it's awesome and beautiful, but it's also horrible. I went through all of 2023 not knowing what dichotomy means. She said it so many times. It's like a, like a bat, like a, I just have to get that off my chest. Balanced, but you know, whatever. Anyways, like someone the other day, one of Makoa's like friends sent him a clip of me and Jeff. I don't know where it was, but just like essentially like insinuating like, yo,

you okay with this bro? Like, you know what I mean? None of your fucking business. And it's like, Makoa obviously knows that Jeff is like a brother to me, but it's like so crazy. Like,

and that's not wrong on his friend because his friend is seeing something or has a parasocial relationship with who I am online and knows Makoa and is just trying to look out for him and so on and so forth. But it's like just so wild that like if Makoa was dating like a normal girl, his people wouldn't be like weighing in on the things I do. A, like Makoa doesn't know about it. B, like, you know what I mean? Like so on and so forth. It's just it was like blowing my mind that I was like.

It's crazy. There's just like so much information available about you. Yeah. Like it's like there's nobody else is like that. Literally. I just saw a tick talk about like my birth dad. It was like people talking about him. And I was like, first of all, that's just crazy. Like born in 1953. He was? Yeah. My birth parents were really old. The top comment was like, he used to work for my parents he would take a flip phone everywhere and like like a physical map and like all this shit about like my dad

and i was like that's so fucking crazy like the world that we live in and it was like the top comment with like a hundred thousand likes and i was like that's so well i think about that like my mom and my sister work at the same place and like so many people who work with them are like fans of cancelled and i think constantly about how like they they are like inside my they have like all the insider info on my family that i don't even know yeah i say it like fucks with my head i don't know it weirds me out what was your favorite cancellation of the year um i'm gonna go with matt rife i'm gonna go with a tie between colleen ballinger and matt rife no i'm gonna go with Matt Rife. I'm going to go with a tie between Colleen Ballinger and Matt Rife. No, I'm going to go with Matt Rife. I just you know what? Yeah. Yeah. They were like such a revenge fantasy of mine like that. I didn't even know I had you like imagine that like

obviously you don't want somebody to be successful after they do you wrong. But like you just don't imagine that it's going to go that badly. I saw a girl like songwriting on TikTok about you and Matt Rife and I found it really funny. Yeah. I also saw a girl. You guys, I'm not heartbroken. I promise. I also saw a girl singing Hefner like Phoebe Bridges, like fuck on you.

Like, and it was crazy. I was like, this is funny. Did you say Bridges? Did I say Bridges? I meant Bridgers. Okay. That's good. Favorite scandal of ours or mine this year?

Because I know you didn't really have it. What kind of scandals were you in this year? Can I objectively just say the wine lady? I was going to say that, but I didn't want to say it because I think that a lot of people thought that was actually really wrong. And it was. Yeah. I mean, the media took, and you obviously experienced this with Matt Rife, but took a very, very much of a hyperbole sentence that yeah like that i said for my viewers but then again we talked about this in the last episode i get into so much trouble it is crazy because you just expect that only the people who listen to the canceled podcast actively are going

to see things and that's just not the truth yeah and then when shit's on like nbc and taken out of context it like makes you look like a fucking piece of shit and not that i'm not a piece of shit i guess but like obviously i don't want anyone to unalive. But I think that it was just funny. Like it just like, it was just like, like how, like how did this blow up this much out of proportion? But it was like, and it definitely wasn't funny in the moment, but it became funny, you know?

Favorite celebrity of the year. Do you have one? Right now my brain is screaming to say northwest oh i don't know yeah i think my i'm gonna lock in my final answer on northwest i really fuck with jacob alorti right now i'm not gonna lie but he's not like really like oh my god the guy who played god what was what's his name barry in salt burn barry barry i don't know the names he's like the main guy in salt burn you watched it right yeah i accidentally hit the wax pen like 30 times so fucking amazing god accidentally as fuck

who's your least favorite celebrity of the year matt rife he's not a celebrity he's a influencer who was your favorite canceled guest of the year oh trisha of course trisha but everyone expects me to say to us to say trisha so i think we should omit trisha of course trisha but everyone expects me to say to us to say trisha so i think we should omit trisha trevor wallace trevor slade trevor's birthday is day after tomorrow let's go who is here we really should go to his birthday party and do some funny ass shit i think so too but also just i might be out of here can't stay in la very long and i might come imagine for new year's we're on mushrooms we're underwater i do really want to come we're like in the bed of a pickup truck like watching the sunset but like murphy doesn't even care like

when i get back she doesn't eat she's not even happy to see me so it's like but i do feel bad i just feel like i have a responsibility she could be happy to see you maybe she just doesn't show that to leave on tour for four months you guys this episode we're doing our best i'm serious but we're just really happy girls we spent the holiday with our families like we're both in pretty happy things with boys like the pop culture has been boring gypsy rose is getting released from jail that's all we really have um and today we have a special guest off camera who's actually i hear off camera a lot and he goes by the name Steven can we get a microphone for Steven will you come in the middle of us

Steven and I have a lot in common right now because we're both receiving death threats on multiple platforms I always receive death threats yeah I guess that's true we probably all always do do you guys think we look alike sound off in the comments I think we look so much alike

you don't think so I can see about like the the hair like the the features and we're the same color yeah i'm just i'm on very i'm very red me too years so that's great how are you i'm doing so good right now so steven and i met steven and i met a long time ago through a dear, dear friend, Jeff Wittek. And whenever someone gets fired or quits the Jeff Wittek company, I bring them over here. You're a poacher. I'm a poacher.

And Stephen was here today. Him and Aaron are cousins, actually. So they're always together. And Stephen comes by for the canceled podcast. What did you think of today's episode? I honestly loved it. I thought I wasn't going to be like y'all's what's that word the derogatory not derogatory demographic not derogatory i'm sorry guys i really thought i wasn't going to be you know y'all's demographic like you know you've never tuned in uh a few times yeah i've watched some clips as well

you know what i mean like you think this is just a girl show no no i mean it could be a guy show too it's completely for the girls and the gays yeah so i was just like i don't know but i was like listening in over there and i was like i mean it was making me laugh i got some good points you were talking about how you had sex in the city i used to help my pillow do that when i was like 10 because i had sex in the title oh my god wait i really understand that because one time one time when i was like really young i was in a hotel and it was on the tv and my mom was asleep in her bedroom and i put it on like thinking like it was going to be like something crazy and i was so scared for my mom to see i was watching sex in the city but i was like

what's going on on the show i get that tv i was curious about a spider-man pillow that would i anyways yeah like intimate relations is that like a I, anyways. Yeah, it's like an intimate relation. Is that like a real thing that happens like as a guy, like in American Pie when you just start having sex with everything? I think that's how it starts is you start humping objects, mainly pillows, I guess. Really? Okay. I'm assuming, I don't know.

That's how I got. That was you dipping your toes in the water? Yeah. That's how you got your start. It was a Spider-Man pillow. How old were you when you lost your virginity, Steven? You don't have to share that. Oh, 18. Or 17?

I was 17 too. Yeah, 17. I lost it to a prostitute. Wait, really? Yeah. She was 30, I was 17. And did you pay her? Wait, Steven, you're a victim. My older brother did. Steven, you're a victim. It's crazy.

17 and 30. Victim, but I wanted it. I was like down for it. No, you can't consent to that. You're 17. Really? Aw, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Well, yeah, I mean, it was a great experience for me.

I thought it was sick. I told all my friends. I was like, dude, I had sex with a 30-year-old. Okay. How did it go? Never should I not. It was at my brother brother's apartment and he had his friend over no i'm not gonna tell that story he put a big plastic sheet down over his bed though a tarp yeah what is a plastic sheet and i faked i faked the orgasm i faked it what do you mean we do it every

time well you know that's fair well like i did it in like inside like a cream pie essentially right but then i it would happen with him like i don't know you brought up cream pies earlier so it just reminded me of that but i i kept going after i finished because i didn't want to like disappoint and it was like only a minute in already like it was so it was so overwhelming oh I get how that could happen so overwhelming have you seen have you ever like we were just

one of our friends just told us a story about how one time she was cuddling with a guy and he came has that ever happened to you no but I get hard when a girl like hugs me

if I really like them okay never hugging you again actually you definitely don't get hard no not like from like friends and stuff I'm talking about

if like I'm like really into a girl and like we've been talking I get how that could happen I don happen well you can you can have a conversation and like get hard i guess why would you not be able to get hard from a hug i guess that's true you don't okay maybe not a hug but if they're like sitting on my lap or something and like an uber and we've been talking i'd be like oh have you ever had a masseuse? This is probably not like a for a guy question, but like I got this massage one time in Vegas. All sentences start horribly like that,

but like it was at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino. So it was like a nice spa. You know what I mean? And the guy started the massage with like two hands. And at one point, like he brushed his body against my shoulder. And I think he, I'm just dropping it.

Like he was, I think he was hard. And then he just started doing the rest of the massage with one hand. Yeah. And like, I remember hearing like, like rubbing, you were like,

not me. It wasn't, he wasn't rubbing me. Oh wow. I just shot him. Yeah. You're a victim too. It wasn't hard.

It was just really big. And if it wasn't hard, it was just really bad. Well, what if it wasn't hard it was just really bad well i guess did you feel it was like a something stiff i don't know i really don't know you're just telling me like a really elaborate story about um a thai spa he went to you should really ask him about it have you ever gotten no i know i know the exact one where he thought everyone was getting happy endings and it was just him yeah yeah oh yeah bleep his name honestly because it's just ridiculous guys have you ever you've gotten a happy ending massage duh why is that a duh it's steven yeah fuck yeah i went weekly at one point you were with a friend it was like a fucking that's like kind of a gay thing to do together is that rude to say you know how

like guys go to the strip club together and that's kind of like a little gay i would say that's like you guys all go together to get hard together. That's weird. But we're in different rooms and it's a bonding experience. You can like share your experience afterwards and be like wow what a great time. I'm not gay shaming.

Yeah I could see where like maybe it could look gay but it's like I think it's special. It's a special moment yeah with your friends. I don't do it anymore but

Where was this? In Woodland Hills. What's it like? Like walk up through a happy ending from a guy's perspective do you get shy because i feel like i would get shy but you have to be confident so they don't like you have to like act like you've been there before so they're not like questioning questioning questioning it you're doing you have to act like you've been there before so they're not like questioning questioning you anyways it doesn't matter uh you walk in and it's like completely

silent and it's very just like calming and like relaxing music's playing and you're like your heart's pounding and you gotta be like 30 minutes please and then they just bring you into a room and then like what do they say they give you a towel that's what they do and then they walk out and then you have to hurry up and get butt naked before they come back in i hate that when they knock and you're not ready yet and i'm like yeah god why should i come back in. I hate that when they knock and you're not ready yet. And I'm like, God, why did you come back so fast? They don't give you any time to get undressed. You have to rush, get undressed.

I put the tip on the table. Oh my God, I thought you meant the tip. No, no, no. The money. And then, yeah, you just lay down and then put the towel over your butt

and then your heart's just pounding and you can feel it. And it's just relaxing. Wait, so how do they know that you want a happy ending? Or is that just like what they do there? That's what they offer? That's what they do. There's a place called. What if you go in there?

Don't think what if you go in there just thinking you're gonna get a regular massage No, you don't you go on rub maps calm and it tells you all the ones that It's a map that shows you everyone that has them in that when and once I don't and they have reviews the guys will leave for views like really in detail reviews of like this is the most important information probably i've ever been told tell me tell me you left a review on there my friend had the account not me so i'm assuming he did but and you went so anywhere you go you could use rub maps absolutely i did it in utah imagine that getting a happy ending in utah scary yeah that sounds like so then do they talk no it's pretty silent and then do you just like come awkwardly

like are you just like you don't have to share yeah i'll just leave that detail out and then they like so they how what comes up let's come down if that i could just say that yeah that's you said he yeah they towel it off of you that's true huh yeah okay i was gonna say it i don't know if you you can put this in if you want i've already said this i think before on the other podcast but that one that you won't say the name of anymore but like what comes up must come down right and they don't really angle it properly when like it's you're like about to finish so oh my god what if you shoot yourself in the eye or something sorry did you oh no like twice yeah and then have to wipe

it off your face and it's the most awkward it's like oh oh you're facing in your hair and and you don't want to like make it uncomfortable you're already like awkward so like you know how you get like yeah you don't want to embarrass them either so it's like almost like you'd have to pretend it didn't happen yeah there's like post nut clarity right like you kind of get like you're like oh okay let me get out of here but as it's happening you know i don't know it's just not the best feeling so they usually just like wipe it off your face and they'll giggle well that's just me and that's only happened to me but but you walk out so happy yeah well it's a happy ending after all yeah just gotta go home and shower it right after i have to go to rub maps.com i swear it's a real thing that's insane

not the yelp for the tuggies so many more than you think because it's literally a map that she was like i might have to check it out but girls can't get happy endings what are they gonna do finger blast the shit out of you yeah i don't know you know what a bummer i feel like that's something i would want to partake in yeah i had a friend who fucked her massage therapist and i always thought that was kind of cool we have one who does it all the time oh yeah but that's just a little different oh steven thanks for coming on honestly you really you really added to this i'm leaving every single word you said in I'm not

actually kidding that was amazing now we have an episode not kidding at all thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of the cancelled podcast I'm gonna actively try to get some stories for the next episode I'm gonna go on rub maps I'm gonna come actively try to get some stories for the next episode. I'm going to go on rub maps.

I'm going to come back with a boyfriend. Also, this episode was sponsored by rub maps. I thought you had like a secret sponsorship you needed to get in. I love you, Brooke. I love Celsius. We love Celsius. I want to deal next. I love you so much.

I'm happy at everything that we did together this year and the things we accomplished. And I wouldn't want to ring in the new year doing this with anyone else. And I'm so excited for our tour. I love you too. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, guys. Bye, guys. Happy New Year. Next episode will be better. Seriously, I'm so sorry.