Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 68: TANA GOT ARRESTED AT THE AIRPORT… - Ep. 68

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

On this episode of Cancelled, Tana loses a toenail and gets arrested? We also find out if Mount Rushmore is real? And so much more! Head to https://SquareSpace.com/CANCELLED to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code CANCELLED Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A To listen to the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there, helping you with Kumo tires you can trust. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is

always there, helping you with Michelin tires you can trust. Until May 30th, receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard with purchase of four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there, TreadExperts.ca Hello and welcome back to the canceled podcast. I'm so happy you did that intro. I was about to say some stupid shit. Sometimes I get jealous when you do it before I can.

I was about to add like eight adjectives, like silly, goofy, little fun, little podcast, and it just was unnecessary. Welcome back to the silliest, goofiest podcast on the market. Cancelled is our game. Brooke and Tana are our names. That was good. You rehearsed

you did 100 i was playing that in my head for like one minute i'm so excited to podcast with you today i am so excited to podcast with you we have not seen each other now what in two weeks two weeks and i feel like i finally got the real hawaiian reset that i needed like because i've been sober and just you ought to have you've been gone forever I know but I like came back today so excited Paige kept calling me out today because I was talking to her like I was podcasting like a freak like I was in the car and I was like you guys know and she was like it's just us I couldn't stop like I've just been ready to podcast all day oh good you're gonna carry I'm no I think i think this energy i think this is a good

this is a good i was gonna say dichotomy but we're starting off the new year with differently yeah just not basic vocabulary just yeah just any other word you know what i mean i have so many topics and i don't know where to begin yay i will boston i'm playing this fun game where i say random cities we're going to on tour throughout the podcast oh okay are we going to boston that's so exciting i don't even know wait speaking of boston imagine you just went on a 20 minute tangent about the baked beans no i was did you ever have did you have boston market where you're from no but i've had it and it's oh my god me and my girl needs to pick up some boston market but mckayla's from boston right yeah did you see the scandal she's in no but please for the love of

god if you're listening it's another mascara it's not a mascara this time it's a self tanner i wanted to start a self tanner and call it self tanner that would be hilarious i'm like hesitant to say just because i'm a little like afraid of messing it up but to my understanding mckayla had promised a small business owner that she was going to review his product. It's a self-tanner where you. It's just like jerking. It's like it's completely personalized. So you input like your hair color, your eye color, your like your everything.

The point is there was another company that was like kind of ripping him off and they were blowing up really big. So he reached out to Michaela and was like, can you can you please review my product? Because like these people are ripping off whatever she promises she will. And that's that's that. OK when he has receipts yeah and when mckayla promotes a product sells it sells out crazy and like small businesses sometimes can't handle it because they get thousands and thousands and thousands of orders fucking love that telescopic mask so when she said like hey i'm posting the video tomorrow he took out a loan to buy ten thousand dollars worth of product so that he would be prepared for the volume of orders that he was she said like hey i'm posting the video tomorrow he took out a loan to buy ten thousand dollars

worth of product so that he would be prepared for the volume of orders that he was expecting to get i want to cry he you know get orders the ten thousand dollars worth of product she never posts the video obviously but she does post in a self tan and it looks fucking horrible okay it's like the worst tan you've ever seen and he like messages her and was like hey um like did something go wrong like you're only supposed to leave it on for like an hour or two and she responds and she's like yes i used it i loved it i slept in it for 12 hours and he was like you're not supposed to do that turns out she got a spray tan she didn't even use the product how do we know that because did the spray tan person come forward to like i love this lore i don't know i don't know how like

i don't want to fuck it up but so then um he reaches out to her again and tells her like listen i ordered this much product because i was expecting the video and then you didn't post it so like could you please post it she's like yes i'm posting it tomorrow still never posts it this has been like months and months and months of like communication back and forth and she's just still never posted the video so now he posted a video about it and it's gone super viral but i don't know about her these days ending with i don't know about her these days i'm really serious because i've always been her biggest fan and that is like so slimy to me here's what i'm gonna say she's been very nice to me so i'm going to like i want to try to talk as if she's watching me like hey girl like you've been very nice to me i think you're

really nice there's something so fucking hilarious about her in a scandal. I don't know what it is. I think my standpoint changed after the like, it's hard to be an influencer. What did she say? Oh yeah, I will try being an influencer for a day. That and like the telescopic lore. Like I just think as influencers too, you know how much someone's getting paid for all the shit that they're not saying they're getting paid for.

And when the like, I'm so genuine, I would never lie to you act mixes in with the fact that they're like clearly lying to us you you deserve i don't know it's really funny yeah i agree and you know what she'll be just fine she makes the most amount of money probably out of everybody on so like beauty girls make the most money it's so stupid yeah and she just she is like talented at the pr machine like the doubling down like she's just gonna post a review of like a scooby-doo x glam light x cvs palette with like a green monochrome glitter i know and nobody's ever gonna stop paying her because people are going to buy what she says okay wait i just want to make sure i know the name of this man's product it is it has south dakota it has 1 million likes illusion bronze is the brand cleveland order from them cleveland we're we are going to cleveland yeah i actually want to try

the self 10 now i would love to try it and that is same it's crazy the reverse marketing probably will help him just as much as her marketing so So I love that. Sometimes a scandal will benefit you more than it does. Yeah. You were, what did you text in the group chat the other day? You were like taking a page out of Tana's book, purposeful scandals coming soon. Yeah. I didn't realize how beneficial it can be for your career. Sometimes they work. Do you want to hear something that's really funny while we're on scandalous lore? And it like, it shouldn't be funny. And I also want to say that I have only heard this lore. I also, lore is my new word, if you can't tell. Yeah, okay.

From Natalie Bowling and Lila Gibney. So it might be a little game of telephony. And like, if you want to fact check, you can. Okay. Obviously, you know, brands love to take influencers on trips. You know, Tarte likes to take people to Turks and Caicos. Like, please let me go again, Maureen. I love Shape Tape.

Lots of brands like to take people to lots of places. And Shein often does brand trips. You went on a brand trip with Shein to Stagecoach. Do you want to know the location of their last brand trip? Wait, I'm scared. I almost feel like I remember. What was it? They took a bunch of influencers to the factories and filmed it like to like say like

look there's no kids here essentially like they didn't say look there's no kids but like that was the vision they didn't say look there's no help me tags but like they took a bunch of influencers to the factory and fucking filmed it and like have like alleged cutaways. Like it's so nice here. I need to know. There's no amount of money that could have gotten me into that factory because it's like, do they not know? I would have done it for free for the fucking jokes. Someone's going to get, you're going to get in trouble for this one.

She and taking like Caseyy boone archetypes to their factory to casey did casey boone go no but casey boone archetypes oh yeah like and i love casey boone i'm just saying taking these fitness moms and shit to their fucking factory to be like like we all know the kids are in the back shed not funny justice for the children i know i'm starting off hot but like i'm sorry like that's fucking insane i can't even think of an analogy yeah well that's like jeffrey epstein resurrecting and taking a bunch of people to the island to like rebrand the island speaking of that can we talk about the stephen hawking lord bro stephen hawking rolled up to that island and what do you say he wanted to see a bunch of

little people painting no little people where they can't doing arithmetic on really high chalkboards i appreciate his creativity however i can't get behind it god what a busy man how do we know he like again did he get hacked like did somebody is somebody like like playing like a joking like video game did someone jailbreak oh my god did someone jailbreaks they're gonna have to jailbreak him now oh yeah wait is he alive no i just feel is he dead he's dead stephen hawking's dead may he rest in peace stephen hawking's dead i know i just found out too i just you know that's what happens to cheaters i swear to god i thought he was rolling around somewhere right now i've been rolling always looking down him to the him to the little people dude dude like i just feel like that fetish is like it's like a family guy episode like it's like two it's written like that's your

fetish like i can't wait to see what family guy does with that i'm really excited for that as well i'm not gonna lie i was on an episode of south park yeah what the fuck that was amazing i didn't think to talk about it like at all and then i saw jeff and mike talking about it on their podcast and then i was like oh i should probably talk about that that's huge and then mike was on the podcast being like it's such an honor and then all the comments were like you clearly don't understand this it's not an honor like they are making fun of how shitty these people are so i think it's hilarious listen there's no such thing as a bad south park um cameo at all at all and honestly it's funny because they were promoting my spicy website and i've like had some people come over like from really that would make me so happy just because i know like how many of my little boyfriends love south park yeah a lot of my like

lizard exes were sending me like snaps of them watching it. See, that's c***. Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there. Helping you with Kumo tires you can trust. Until June 15th, receive up to

$60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local TreadExperts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get it from our TreadExperts.

Until May 30th, purchase four new michelin passenger or light truck tires and receive up to 70 by prepaid mastercard conditions apply details at michelin.ca find a michelin tread experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca locations that is kind of Thank you I haven't really thought about it Giving it too much thought I still haven't seen it

That's how I feel Whenever we have any association At all with Dave Portnoy Because like All my like college boyfriends Are just like barstool Like they want to suck Dave's dick

Speaking of Dave honestly was really mean To me on BFFs No I get so scared Of the BFFs lore He was What happened?

And it sucks Because I like really love him Well I get a call of the bffs lore he was what happened and it sucks because i like really love him well i get a call in the car the other day um and it's brianna and i'm ignoring her ignoring her because i'm like i'm on the phone already whatever and then she texts me and she goes dave wants to talk to you and i go oh no i pick up it's you're on the bffs pod they're so good at that like i'd be like you want to come on the podcast and the person wouldn't come on but like that's lit i should have known taking a page but brianna protect me he's asking me about matt rife's feast tune dick pic whatever and he's like honestly i don't give a fuck about

who was dating what whatever blah blah and so i answer him he hangs up whatever but then i watch the full clip and him and josh are just like going in about me like basically saying like she's she has no right to be mad like duh she's stupid for even thinking he would have been a good guy blah blah and then brie goes dave brooke loves you and josh is like um she seems like she just loves everybody like and they're just like being all mean i'm like fuck you guys well no don't fuck you i love you guys no i don't oh my god that's why i was like okay like sorry and i hate what the worst part about this like matt rife thing is that everybody who's recapping it is leaving out like 99 in the information and

just like making it look like i just wanted to expose him for no fucking reason and like that sucks yeah it does suck but i mean it's all in the media pot it you know you said your truth on cancel yeah but you know how much i like i love bffs i love that shit and like i hate oh they made me look so stupid i hated it i'm really sorry it's okay and i really love you and i do i love you know what i have admiration for dave and i don't love him i don't have to love him i feel like and maybe i'm reaching here because i don't really know and then he called me um unmotivated or um he said i had no ambition. Why? Because he was like, Barstool was going to hire her,

I guess. But then he was like, she has no ambition. And then they said they canceled his inconsistent. Rats. But they did say we're making a killing on views. That's about right. Like we're inconsistent.

People watch. You know what? Maybe we'll be consistent this year. Not a lot of inaccurate information from the BFFs, but hurtful nonetheless. Great recap. Not kidding. Maybe we'll be consistent this year. Maybe next year. Who knows? We're going to be consistent this year. Or maybe not. That's the beauty of inconsistency. I'm just really trying to be realistic. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. How are your New Year's resolutions going so far? My New Year's resolution

was to say no to more things so that I can be more manageable and consistent with the things that I really value. And then today I shot with plastic flowers for 14 hours. Well, that was a rollover from last year. It was a rollover from last year. I'm not going to lie. And I did see you post for at home laser hair removal today. Do you guys want to know something? There are some things you just should say no to.

I'm in some contracts, so I'm going to teeter around this one. Okay, should I say it? Yeah. That's a good idea. I have a thing about gadgets. I won't do a brand deal for any kind of gadget for some reason. Just because I know I won't use it. I really try not to do any brand deals for things that I won't use.

You are the type who would use something like that. And I would buy a gadget from someone's brand deal yeah to be fair yeah and that's but but I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't buy it and whatever and I think it's hilarious that sometimes I'll get a brand deal and like I'll be like absolutely not can you believe that they thought I was going to do this and then you're like immediately give it to me please it happens more often than you would actually think that I get wind of a brand deal Brooke has received for so much fucking money every time, by the way. And it's crazy too, because I'm like, oh, if Tana's

going to do it, we'll give her half. It's like insane. That is not true. Not kidding at all. I think they gave me less. You know, when they sent me the prompt for this deal, they like sent me the prompt and it still said use code Brooke at checkout. I was like, God damn it. Yeah. So this was one of the many deals that she sent into the group chat making fun of and i said i'll do that um and also i don't laser hair removal honestly intrigued me someone on reddit today or they were like clowning me on reddit today don't don't say any words about reddit because they were like brooke can brooke afford to turn things down like she's so stupid for turning down money i'm sorry i want to be honest with my audience i'm sorry that i would

not promote something that i am not actually using. I also take pride in my brand deal voice. And I think the real ones know. Yeah. Leave it at that. Leave it at that. You're going to get you're going to lose half your deals. I probably will. Anyways, for something else I've said on this episode, I just said Stephen Hawking's alive and rolling. I know I said, yeah, it's OK. It's OK. Dallas, I have have i'm well no never mind i have two boyfriends in dallas thank god thank god absolutely thank god yeah honestly fuck a brand new even if i lose them all i am really excited for tour and you know to do oh my god i'm so excited for tour especially now let's go tomorrow she's keeping something from you guys

but i know it will come to the forefront soon and it will be yet another one of those. No, it'll be fun. It's going to be, I have a really fun story that's happening to me over this past or that's happened to me these past few days that I'm going to tell on tour. Really, really, really psycho behavior

from Brooke Schofield last night. But I really, really, I really appreciate it. And I love it. I love a good psycho behavior. I really like right now that you are occasionally doing a psycho thing or two because of how wholesome i've been being i'm such a simp fucking baby you know i'll take that off your bag and it's to live vicariously is helping me heal like sincerely i like really have become full simp and it's scaring the shit out of me. I have a new favorite catchphrase.

Let's hear it. I'm just going to leave it at one sentence, okay? A man in Lila's life called her and her friends, not us, just other friends, a seeming band of collusive thieves. Is that why that's what our group chat is called? I was wondering where that came from. Seeming band of collusive thieves.

I want it on a shirt. I want it on a tattoo. I want it. Speaking of our collusive thief herself. I had an experience with her. Okay. I had a fucking experience with Gibney. No.

Go for fucking Gibney. So I was going to Hawaii for New Year's and I extended the invite to everyone. It was kind of like, hey, I don't really know where I'm staying or what I'm doing. I'm just going to bop around. If you're down for that journey, feel free to join me. And Lila and Natalie decided they were down to join me. I've been to Hawaii with Lila. I've been traveling. I love traveling with Lila. She's honestly so fun. And like, she just gets it. We tan all day and we take photos and it's so fun.

And I'm so happy she came and I loved having her there. But there was a small part of my innards that was a bit. I didn't like it when you said innards. It reminds me of like a turkey. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm just trying out new things instead of dichotomy. There's a small part of me that was a bit apprehensive because I think that certain

behaviors that may, you know, be approved on the mainland may be a little more frowned upon over there. And we don't have to get into those. But for the most part, she was really good she did you know take a can of cheese whiz everywhere and people were a bit concerned but other than that um she was a pleasure to have in hawaii but on the way there um we decided it would be fun to all take up a row and fly together i'm i'm a first class girly i'm a fly private girly i'm trying to turn over that leaf a little bit and just save some money.

Put it away. Be good. Dabble with the plane folk. And I. Me. I get on this plane and I'm sitting next to Lila Gibney. And we're chilling. We're vibing.

You know, I take half a Xan, 13 hours till I land. Had me out like a light. And she gets up and she goes to the bathroom. And she comes back from the bathroom. And suddenly our row is surrounded by every flight attendant on the plane. They've corroborated together to go forgive me. Andrae, very interesting use of the word corroborated. Is that not how you use it at all?

No. I'm really trying to change. Corroborate is like if you tell a story and somebody were to come and corroborate is that not how you use it at all no i'm really trying to change corroborate is like if you tell a story and somebody were to come and corroborate define corroborate confirm or give support to they were not giving her any support they were trying to get her supporting each other okay yeah you know i'm so fucking wrong and stupid seriously it's so embarrassing keep it moving they're all surrounding your aisle they all surround our row and they have let lylan know that she has done something in the lavatory no no i said lavatory okay but i do have a lip flip so there's a lot going on she's done something in the lavatory that is just a big big no no a big big whoopsie and they have informed us that

the entire plane smells like cannabis she is very adamant that she did not smoke and that she does not smoke they respond back and they let her know that the authorities will be waiting for her and potentially all of us when we get off the plane okay i get the wi-fi i start texting my lawyer melanie i'm letting her know everything that's happening i have to get a pen from a stranger and i have to write my phone number up liila's arm, my lawyer's up her other arm. I have all my lawyer's phone numbers like down my arm pages, Makoa Ho so he can bail us out, whole nine. And then imagine for the next five hours. Just thinking about it.

You're just sitting there rocking back and forth, like horrified, terrified. And the attendants just hate us. They're not serving us anything. Like it's just, it's a journey for sure. And then we land and lo and behold, Hawaii FBI is waiting for us. Lila also on the flight convinces me that she did not smoke.

That's my favorite part of the whole story is the way that she was even texting in the group chat. Like, are you fucking kidding me? I never would do that. And I want to respond. Well, I actually did respond i did respond i said lila i know you did that dude i don't know if it was like the benzo in me but like she convinced me i was like they're transphobic i know lila better than to like think that she would ever follow rules if it's a flat or a squeal a wobbler peel your dreads worn down or you need a new wheel. Wherever you go, you can get it from Tread Experts.

Until May 30th, purchase four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires and receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard. Conditions apply. Details at Michelin.ca. Find a Michelin Tread Experts dealer near you at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at treadexperts.ca. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts.

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From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca She had me fully convinced. So every single time she posts something like that or like posts about some kind of major scandal

or how she got in trouble and everyone's transphobic i'll literally just be like come on i was so convinced i was ready to start a war against united airlines i believed that my friend did not smoke because she went on this whole tangent of like i would have just ghosted it in the seat like blah blah because that is like if you're going to i don't i would never but if you were going to that would be how you do it. You don't smoke in the fucking bathroom. Like, what are you doing? Is this fucking first grade?

And then you're being Lila, though, because, you know, she probably took half a bar, too. And she's like, oh, in the bathroom. But like, that's like you could give me a perky and I wouldn't go in the bathroom. That's exactly wrong. It's just back to basics. We don't smoke in the airplane laboratories. Right. You know, and we land. airplane lavatories right you know and um

we land hawaii fbi is you know waiting we've we've all been stressing we now have to wait at the baggage claim forever for her to talk to them she hits on them she tells them that she's a world renowned supermodel and they apologize to her and let her off completely free well at least she got out of it with honesty so maybe she did never smoke and this is all a legend i'm sorry lila i love you but it's just hard to believe ever when she says that she didn't do something because it's like i know you better than that i just wish she would have told me you know she did confess to me like literally i told her yes you did and she goes you're totally right i did the thing is i was trying to explain to her that like my lawyer and i have a relationship where no matter how

much i do something wrong i would tell my lawyer yeah and it's like tell me so i can help you help me help you yeah like when you murder somebody and you have would tell my lawyer yeah and it's like tell me so i can help you help me help you yeah like when you murder somebody and you have to tell your lawyer katherine mcbroom stood up katherine is free i want to see her step out with someone michael b jordan go back to him baby i really have no notes on that on katherine mcbroom i'm just proud of her and i'm really excited i think it's gonna be a sleigh boots And I really like would love for her to hit like a I could call her daddy or like a tell all like I just come on. Do me a big one one time. Catherine, do your big one. Oh, my God. And everyone will support you. We love you. Yeah. Your husband or your ex is a fucking

cheater. And like, will she ever just one time even even just a shady tiktok i would eat it up you know i would well she did say she was like i'm choosing my self or she was like i tried to do it for my family or i tried to stay together for my family or put my family first which to me is evidence that she did not want to be with that man she ate no notes and great to do that for the children but you can't you're a better mom so long as you're happy i want to preface my next topic that nothing i'm about to say is disordered i think that you should always eat when you're hungry i think like it's so good to eat good food like i don't mean any of this with a disordered thought process like I don't know how to just explain that this is coming from a place of I seriously fucking have a problem.

And I have been getting ridiculously, like people call it boyfriend fat. And I'm not talking about body image. I'm really genuinely talking about, like I'm eating crunch wraps off my chest with this man every day. Like the other day, Makoa Ho was looking at one of our friends

and he was looking at me and Makoa eating and we were like eating in bed. And he was like, we have to get out of here before they start force feeding each other when they're already full like it's like actually like we just smoke and like keep going and keep going and keep going like and it's just like I'm full like it's like yeah stop it and I've started talking like Tina the talking tummy I've started talking like my 600 pound life. Like it's getting really bad. You're going to have to roll me into a fucking van. This all started like two months ago. Um, I was home and I was having a really bad day. That's the other thing. It's like, you know what I mean? Like I'll just like stress eat so much, get so high. Like there's,

I'm saying I need to, I need to dial it back okay and i had a day where i was having a really bad day it was the day after the uh steamies and um everyone came over for a little you know potential 51 fifth and they were kind of seeing how i was doing you know it was like you need grippy socks or fuzzy socks you know one of those days and so we ordered no home munchies hot cheeto corn we ate all of that 15 minutes go by we order everything from catch steak i'm eating filet mignon with my hands and baked potatoes and just all this fucking food that stops we order mcdonald's then we order wendy's like it's it's that and everyone's hurting it's like me ari amari lila like we're all in the fetal position i decide i want crumble cookies crumble cookies like they're a thousand

calories they're not even good i'd never had them before i wanted the lore oh i wanted the lore the lore of the crumble fucking cookie a crumble cookie doesn't have lore i disagree kindly i wanted a crumble cookie i don't know why i get the entire box of it and I'm eating it no one else wants them I'm eating them off my chest everyone else is retching I'm eating crumble cookies off my chest and I have a mouthful of some blueberry cheesecake diabetes type 2 shit in my mouth and Amari's talking to like Ty to someone else and Amari's like have you seen the menu it's a show it's a show on the menu and mouth full of crumble cookies I turn to them and I go what menu and every single person in the room starts crying laughing at me and now to this day when I'm like thwarting thwarting you know like eating way too much yeah

around here Amari will just look at me no context and say what menu like it's just become a thing you know what I mean and everyone just thinks it's so funny and now I've been doing it all the time I have three more that I have to share with you and it's I just can't stress to you enough that every single time this happens it's in front of Ty Collins and he cries laughing. Like it's it'd be one thing if it was like one time in front of you one time. It's like, you know what I mean? Like it's me and Ty every time. I have a day in Hawaii where I'm just eating all day.

I think Makoa and I had Taco Bell. We there's a grocery store called Foodland with all this like hot, insane food. So I'm eating like cheese tots all day. We get back. Amber cooks this like Italian dinner. I'm eating garlic bread by the fucking footlongs, by the loaves. I am so full. And I get to the bathroom and I'm bubbling from the damage I've done to my body.

I'm sitting there trying to release it, trying to get it out of me. I'm wrenched trying to release it, trying to get it out of me. I'm wrenched over in pain. And Ty Collins gets back from a day of health and wellness. I'm from health and wellness. He worked out that morning. He did sauna. They did ice baths. And he comes back and he's in the room. And Ty and I are unfortunately close enough that like the door is cracked, you know? Yeah. So I'm pushing. I'm gripping the walls whole nine i was about to say something so fucking gross but you you get the picture you know turtle shelling i was gonna say that i was on my period and i was giving peanut butter and jelly and she's like

that's so insane that is exceptionally bad and i'm so glad that you didn't say it to be honest and the door is cracked and i was like Tana I had the best day you need to try the icing and he meant the ice bath and I said where is it where is it

I said where is it and it's like you're shitting out what you already did you're like bitch fix what's already broken what and then ty just looked at me and he's like you didn't even ask what it's on or what it's with like not even like what's it on like where is it where where is the icing where is it what the fuck you fucking fat ass you fat ass oh my god everyone was in tears it was so embarrassing and i just i'm gonna end you with the with the final lore no lord no fucking war so i want you to unlearn more brooke i can't. That's the Lord. We go to Kauai and we go stay at a beautiful five-star hotel, the one hotel in Kauai.

Thank you for hosting me. I love you so much. I get there and I sit down to check in. It's me, Makoa, Ty, Makoa, and we're all sitting there to check in. I can't even tell. This one is so come on lay it on me we go to check in and i do the whole check-in process it's so nice you know they're bringing us like green juices like a warm towel yeah like it's that vibe what's her name concierge she comes over and she says she says do you guys want four keys do you guys want four keys and i thought she said four keys like a quirky nickname for forks do you guys want forkies and i said for what and i like like a waiting a waiting a meal and everyone was silent and i tried to play

it off i was i'm crying and i was like I thought you were saying forks in a quirky way. And I said that to her. And you didn't know what you were eating, but you wanted a fork, a little forky. Forkies. I wanted forkies. It's okay. You're having a hungry time. And you know what that means?

That means that you're happy. What did you say? I'm having a hungry time. What the fuck? It's giving hungry, hungry hippos the fuck is giving hungry hungry hippo i've gone through hungry periods you just do when you're happy you're hungry oh wait no what do they say what do they say you're not you're not you and you're hungry i and i haven't been lately and it's like every hour on the hour i'm just starving i'm just famished

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with iGaming Ontario. The other night, I was eating three separate flavors of room service gelato to myself. Like, one's $10. It's one serving for one person. I ordered three. I'm eating them all on my chest. You're on vacation.

And I'm sitting there, and McCall Waho was watching. We're watching a movie, and he goes, so good. And I thought he was talking about the gelato and i'm like so good and then it just it's ty's just been there for all of them i can't i just can't stop i have a serious i love this new bit it's fun it's just and now it's like every time i do it it just i it's gotta stop for keys with my final fucking straw i think it's got to stop. Forky's was my final fucking straw. I think it's hilarious. And I think you look amazing. So who cares? I'm going to clog an artery. Yeah.

I'm worried about your, um. Yeah. No, it all stops now. Like today I had grilled chicken and a fucking salad. Like I'm done. I'm done. I'm serious. And it's just, yeah.

The boyfriend fat of it all is like the crazy thing. Like you're surfing. You can, your metabolism works. You get to slay. You're, you're, I'm not going to be the woman you fell for soon. If this keeps up. And that's okay. I'd hope you'd love me anyways.

At least someone fell for you. See, that was so Brooke lore. When you do that, you remind me of the little characters in Animal Crossing. I've never seen it. It's a game. Oh. crossing i've never seen it it's a game i saw a tiktok that's called wait with this girl and she was talking about the test that she does for each man that she's dating okay this is how she decides if somebody's worth pursuing or not it's very simple however i don't think that most of our

guys could pass the test it's just like basic arithmetic you're lucky your your current boyfriend could definitely pass this test but basically it's just can this man carry you up a hill it's called the hill test i've never dated a man who could carry me up a hill until this one at all in fact i would be shocked if my any of my men could have made it up the hill alone alone 100 either they would get blown away in the wind either the hill is made out of cocaine yeah chris miles is skiing down the hill kidding i'm trying to stop with that lore oh i'm trying to stop with that lore. Oh. I'm trying to stop you with lore in general. That's crazy.

That's actually crazy. I just want to say, I am so here for Gypsy Rose Blanchard. I love it. I love it. I am so happy for her. Like, beyond. That D is fire. Yeah, I said it.

And I never thought that this year's pop culture bingo card would start off so fire with the things that are happening with the gypsy lore, if you will. She's going to hit me. There are some red flags, you know, here and there and i obviously just psychologically i think it's very scary for anyone to go from zero fame to overnight sensation just what that does especially for children especially teenagers even just people in general what that does to your psyche is fucking nuts and i think for her especially to have gone from such a sheltered, the most sheltered life absolutely ever, the most sheltered, abusive, horrible life to a very sheltered life to then skyrocketing

to like an A-list level of eyes on her. It's worrisome for the future of her psyche. But I guess what I'm getting at is how far is too far in the public eye? I saw this TikTok. All right, so I want to play a little rapid fire game called Gypsy's Urban Dictionary. I'm going to give you some terms.

Okay. And just instantly tell me what you think it means. Okay. Cap. Cap? Um, a hat. Drip. Um, oh God, um, rain.

Bed. Um, that means like cool. I hate exactly that's just like inappropriate like all of this that happened while you were in prison she goes on to make gypsy teacher terms from prison by the way yeah do people have no shame this interviewer i just i don't like her lore i don't like her face i don't like i just feels mal it feels mal intent i don't i i don't like her jeans i feel like everybody just wants kidding i'm not attacking her physical appearance i'm just mad at her i get the appeal with gypsy and stuff and i think she's an icon but i also feel like people are trying so hard to be viral that it's like embarrassing and they're it's it's just inappropriate like hey you you were sheltered

your whole life and then you were in prison so now we're gonna ask you a bunch of terms that you clearly don't know and make you look yeah and making it like a really light-hearted thing when obviously her time in prison was like like it's not like martha stewart like we can make fun of martha stewart going to prison i agree it just feels wrong it feels like she's the butt end of that joke i know i guess we've kind of contributed to it a little. No, I appreciate interviews. And I think she's an icon. And like, yes, some of the edits are funny and stuff.

And clearly she likes it. And so long as she's on board with it, that's fine. I was all for her little comment about her husband's D being fire. So long as her mental health is not affected by that later down the line, I am also on board with the d being fire um how many times have you said your man's d is fire yeah you know hundreds and and that's kind of what it's giving like she's new to social newer to social media like we did a lot of that when we were like younger like it makes it it adds up but i just don't appreciate

the it's almost like her pr team like who let her do that and who let I don't like that because that was kind of like the joke was like at the expense of gypsy like it was kind of trying to make her look like dumb and I didn't like that and I just I hope there are people around her protecting her and it's almost like get girl boss town on the case like I want good PR for her like if she's gonna take the pr route yeah i don't think somebody just yeah they need to be guiding her a little bit like i think i wonder if it's like her decisions like like i saw she went on like vile files which honestly good choice as far as like if you want somebody who's gonna just be like nice and stuff but like who's deciding yeah like she had all the

options in the world and she went on vile files no shade to nick file but like who chose that he was on he was a bachelor okay exactly like at that point but he's like but he's a credible like he i mean he's a he has like a very well-known good podcast he said a lot of good good guests and so she might have just been like a fan of his what about like call her daddy at that point you know well i don't think I think even the title alone makes that an inappropriate interview for Gypsy Rose Blanchard. Call her daddy for Gypsy Rose. Love you, Alex. It's not the place for her. I'm going to change subjects now.

OK. Tampa. Kidding. I don't know if we're going. We're not going to Tampa. Are we? Look, it's somewhere in florida for sure yeah our tour got leaked did it it got leaked a little bit where'd it get leaked brook

florida oh i was i was making a reddit joke but oh is that how you know no well i know because like certain venues have already posted the see the show the shows yeah really that's so people are like literally looking at their local venue like upcoming events yeah but maybe see that's so canceled lore getting fed up with my co-host instead of the tour it's the lore no sedate me please sedate me i get weird when i'm sober too in the beginning like i have a little too much energy i'm a little too offensive no you're fun i'm just in a grumpy mood i had a grumpy day grumpy lord i know i know i'm sick i'm ill i'm ill i'm gonna say it again but i'm serious it's like it's real i'm using it to the best of my ability so everyone's clicking out what they're sick of you what's the lore behind mount rushmore what do you mean mount rush lore we get paid for this shit do you know that my one of my new year's resolutions was to not laugh at

jokes that aren't funny so that i don't give anybody positive reassurance for something that they didn't deserve what's the fucking what is it what's up with mount rushmore who decided these four men need to go on this mountain and like you're telling me a bunch of people just climbed up there and started chiseling that shit yeah and have you ever had like someone draw a photo of you and you're like this is offensive do you think any of them were like why the fuck did you make my nose that big do you know mccoho called me out the other day because back in the day i used to every single time a fan drew me i would face tune it to look more like me before i posted it that is so criminal could you imagine being the person who drew it too and being like wait a second to anyone who drew me from 2018 to 2021 i am so sorry that i had to give myself a small nose three

but here's the thing it's like i went to the damn doctor and put a hammer on it and you're gonna give me my old nose that is like really offensive do better guys i just want to know more about mount rushmore while we're on tour that's my only goal so far so you know besides like selling it out and doing good but like i, I really want to go to Mount Rushmore. I need to see the shit for myself. Where is it, Virginia? South Dakota. I don't know why I said Virginia.

I thought it was. South Dakota. Are we going to South Dakota? Huh? Are we going to South Dakota? I don't know, but we have to make a stop no matter what. I need to say. Like, I'm like, I almost believe it's not real.

Has anyone ever been? Do you know anyone who's been to Mount Rushmore? I actually don't. I don't think I do. But I love a good historical landmark who chose them i think they were like four no i don't know who chose them and then it's and then i'd be pissed if i was like somebody who was like almost almost made the cut but didn't quite like what if what if you were like the um the what do you call it like a runner-up yeah yeah it's i feel like that has to be a jake shane tiktok by the way on a complete side note wait i think you did do one on this but it's

just and then like you're never gonna add on like don't you think mlk could have been like a you know like later they could have been like oh yeah yeah and like i want to just have a different mountain yeah like put gypsy up there me an hour ago i have such good topics the topics in question i think your topics are amazing i think yeah that's crazy i want to be in um oak mountain that's all should that be our tour promo just have someone like superimpose us as mount rushmore get to work someone now and if you do bad i will face you know what i want if anyone's listening you know those like posts where they make people like really tiny like they made one for central c and they like put him in all his regular photos but made him like super little I know Madeline and uh central c are back together he bought her a Mercedes

two Montclair jackets one for her home for her dog everything diamonds i love her so much you have to respect the fact that there's a point where it's like if my man was doing some footy shit but then he was swiping like that i'm getting sunglasses and a cane baby i trust i trust her judgment i think that she's making the right decision for her always and i'm behind you baby i also really ship them so i like they're so cute and she's just so fucking smart i love her i absolutely do love her and i love them together and i love that for her and you walk with that walking stick with pride baby you don't see shit look up at that ceiling bitch you should watch her podcast she's really smart i will she

talks about mental illness and emotional permanence whoa Whoa. God, we should start doing that. I'm permanently emotional. I have to get something off my chest. Okay. And I've never... What? Nothing? No.

What'd you say? Nothing lore? Nothing lore. There's no lore here. Well, there is, but whatever. We don't have to get into that. And I've never told him this. One time I stole from Amari.

Okay. What'd you steal? I guess it's actually, there's no point in this being a podcast topic but like so essentially when Paige first started working for me I don't know if I've ever told this story on canceled her very first day on the job and like now I know this is her sense of humor and like now if she made a joke like this I would know she's joking but it's such a crazy thing to say on your very first day working for someone. And like, I probably should have just like not had her come back after saying this, but she's in my house and she's helping Kyla organize my closet.

Cause she was originally hired as Kyla's assistant. And she makes a joke about how she's like such a klepto. So for the rest of the day, I just like shadowed her. And then years later, I told her that like two years later i was like do you know on your first day you told me you were a klepto and i didn't fire you and like that is really crazy behavior and just especially for like the job at hand it's not like she was answering emails like yeah like she was in your closet handling my things and i just i liked her enough that i was like well let's find out if you're a klepto bitch you know yeah and um we still bring it up from time and time again

and today we were the joke that wasn't right i know sometimes you just be saying shit from time and time again like oh it's in there cincinnati um so we've already gone to cincinnati you're just lying i'm gonna start doing it and today we were shooting for the plastic flowers all day and um we were in these people's really nice house and she picked up a coaster and she was like see this is the type of shit that i was talking about yeah and it reminded me that i stole in high school did you was this a thing for you by the way when you were growing up the most important thing in the world in my high school realm like fashion wise was your sock game and your shoe game yeah no not my school

like you were every day like it was like you had to be wearing cool socks with like cool vans cool shoes like printed patterned think tie-dye think advanced with cats on them at one point I did steal those um but love cats I went through this phase and this was just in the height of my lack of morals you know I was a drug dealer I sucked in just every way this was just in the height of my lack of morals you know I was a drug dealer I sucked in just every way like I just had a lot of problems and I realized that not only could you steal from stores you could steal from people I've changed so much I promise you I promise you like I would never do that obviously like I think this the the people fad lasted like six months yeah and it started with you have to dabble yeah because one time i was at a house

party i stole from a house party once what did you steal an entire wait this is so bad go i was so blacked out in the next day i was with my old roommates and i i stole an entire wait i actually literally can't say this because it's so bad i'm gonna cry i didn't mean to a whole set of lamere skincare like oh this was in la yeah oh my god i did but it was this dumb whores party and it was it technically wasn't me who stole it but i was there i was an accomplice and it was me and my roommates but you probably look like a baby's bottom for the next six months. Dude,

that shit's so expensive. A thing of La Mer moisturizer is like $600. You know what's funny is if you steal over $1,000, what is it, like grand larceny or like, there's a term for it.

I don't know. But like, that's like a grant, like it's like a real crime because of- It was a party favor. I couldn't agree more. I regret saying that.

This all started because at one point we had a friend in high school, and she had this kid who lived across the street. And it's not funny, but like, he was just kind of weird. You know, and people weren't nice. I was not a part of not being nice. I was always nice to him.

I promise you that much. But at one point, maybe some of the like jockey, like not so nice kids convinced him to throw a party at his house. I hate this story already i know i know i'm sorry um and he ends up getting like so blacked out and the police end up coming and i know that this happened a lot like everywhere high schools across america like the police would come and everyone would scatter and shit but in vegas for some reason i just like i have a hunch

it was a little worse than in a lot of other places like not only would people start scattering but they would start stealing shit and i was in the backyard running out of his house and i just look up and some of my friends were funneling a flat screen no the second story and i remember being like yo like fuck a macy's this this shit is everywhere everything's horrible but i i didn't know i was just learning from my surroundings no one was there to parent me i'm sorry again so then you know i just started getting spunky at house parties you know i was like oh my god i really like these shoes or these earrings i knew people in high school who would steal one shoe from people so that they would like really think that they just lost it because it's like why would you

steal only one shoe but it was like that's almost worse because it's like you can't even wear them that's just being like an asshole yeah that's that's crazy that's really funny though honestly it's really fun that's something i would do now but like because imagine just being like where the fuck would one of my shoes go and it will drive someone crazy absolutely crazy not kidding that's insane that's really dude that's smart for like a guy like a guy pisses you off and like you're leaving his house and you just take one shoe yeah i should have taken one shoe last night amari texted me today fun fact i'll get back to what i stole from him but he said new crazy girl antic when a guy is walking to his car trying to leave in an argument chase him grab keys and throw them as far as possible aim for bushes

just for all the crazies out there i know we still have a few but um good i eventually unfortunately carried this over to my closest friends you know whether it be like a crop top or something just like just for a second there you know and I just and one time when Amari was asleep I opened his sock drawer and I stole two pair of his stance socks and stance socks were like twenty dollars a pair they were like sock game like they weren't white socks like they were like you'd buy them in a zoomies and they were like really cool and the thing is is I like lived with him and I spent every day with him oh yeah he's like where'd you get those socks you're like so I had to wear the socks in secret.

And then eventually I just got rid of them because I couldn't keep up with this. And I remember he like brought it up and I lied and I never told him until today. I didn't think about it until today, until Paige showed me that coaster. That's really bad. I'm going to call him. So you were asleep one night. At the house on Jorge Way. You still have the turtle.

And I waited until you were asleep and I stole an orange and black and white pair of your stamp socks and a green tribal pair. They have blue on them, huh? Yeah. And I've never told you. And I'm really sorry you're bad so insane to me because like one i wore those socks often and i feel like i remember looking for them and being like they just disappeared and i lied to you what kills me is like taking my dance socks was crazy because

those were expensive first of all those are like some of those expensive socks you could buy and i would get those socks for dance because they wouldn't rip and you just you just stole them to ride dick and i had to wear them in secret that was crazy too like we saw each other all the time when were you wearing them period I'm really sorry I'm really sorry that I stole your socks and I never told you until this day I think it's hilarious honestly

I just want to know how many guys you fucked when I'm in high school at least seven at least seven honestly a job well done that's probably what got you to dick too because guys love stance socks they're like she's a hard ass I probably what got you to dick too because guys love Stan Socks. They're like, she's a hard ass. I hate hearing about you getting dick in like grade school.

She said she hates hearing about me getting dick in grade school. I'm really sorry about your socks. I love you so much. I love you. Have a great podcast, Brooke. You know, me and my sister, when we still lived in our little neighborhood, we had these neighbors, Candace and Tina,

and they were whores. They were literally like little kids. I mean, you just heard I was a whore. They went out of town one time and me and my sister went in there and absolutely robbed them. Like stole all their clothes all their like i remember i had this blue hat that candace would wear and we would just wear it in front of them and they were like you stole that from inside our house and we're like no we didn't we bought this and we didn't buy it we stole it i

think i've told this story on the canceled podcast before but one time in fourth grade i asked monica fulbright where her top was from and she said i don't tell people because i don't want them to copy me and then i stole her top as you should fuck you monica we ended up becoming really good friends i don't know where she is now but dad just kidding sorry i'm really i'm honestly in a really shitty mood you guys i also just want to let the viewership know that i'm not dismissing brooke's commentary about the mood that she's in i'm just um not allowed i'm binded i'm clawing at the walls of my enclosure i'm not allowed to talk about i just know i just want everyone to know that i'm so that if people comment and they're like brooke's grumpy they're like oh she had a

bad day and she did have a bad day and it's completely valid and i would love to just absolutely behead people verbally right now but i'm not allowed so and that's understandable that's i'm not saying that in a passive way this is your story this is your truth and i'm just you know i'm protective of my day i saw george lopez in concert i'm just kidding in um i saw him at the laugh factory and it was so fucking amazing and i was like i thought i literally thought it was like one of like one i thought i went and saw him on like a night and i was never gonna be able to see him again and then i brought it up to someone and they were like apparently he's there all the time so it's really i would cut off a foot for g lo it was so fucking good remember when i like had a heart attack seeing him at the people's

choice awards exactly same hunter's in love with me spread the word yeah yeah i don't know if you guys recall when i was talking about my little basketball player that i was obsessed with last week who i am gonna pursue these days i i have been obsessed with this basketball player for like literally two years i've i always talk about it i slide up on all his stories we always like kind of like flirty back and forth and then he tried to set me up with his friend and i was like what the fuck you did talk about that on the podcast i forgot yeah so i was like fuck you like i was like all sad but i was like honestly if he wanted me he would have told me by now because obviously like i've told made it clear to hunter hunter's one of his best friends so it's like he would know by now come to find out hunter just simply never told the man hunter went out of

his way to never tell the man that i had a crush on him despite having made me think that he was like playing you know matchmaker yeah okay so then this guy like kind of we do kind of start talking and he is telling me like no i i was telling hunter like I thought you looked really cute that night. Hunter never told me. Hunter's in love with me. Spread the word. Yeah. Hunter's fucking in love with you. Spread the absolute word. There's just no other logical explanation because he knew how much I like, how obsessed

I was with this guy. And like, in the past, Hunter has not set me up with a friend that maybe thought I was cute. And I could understand that because he's like, I want to protect my friend's peace these were in eras you know where I did not deserve a good girlfriend although you know there is he does probably have reason to believe that I might not be the most stable girlfriend okay but stable shmable he's in the NBA he doesn't need stability absolutely he wants a good time he is and that you will show him maybe she'll get on a missionary for once folks stay tuned never that i've been taking you up on your shit i love starfishing

as of late me too i'm doing i can do so much i could do y m c and a it's it's nice it's really really nice it's amazing to it lately the other day i was like writing dick backwards and i started to get like wall sit cramps in my thighs and i thought of you in the midst of writing dick i was like what would brooke do and i laid my little ass down exactly right it was great i don't see anything wrong with it and nobody has ever really brought it to my attention like as a problem i don't think it is a problem and i'll do i'll i'll do i'll do the work for the right person yeah but like it's also nice to just chill sometimes i think so too you know i'm in a stoner lately so i think that's also where that's coming from i just don't have it in me yeah i just you know what i'm not a big athlete and that's fine you're just gonna get fucked by one yeah

yeah hopefully if hunter gets out of the way um he's in love with me he says he doesn't want me to hook up with any more of his friends any more i've hooked up with so many of his friends so true um but i had you there like i was ready that was really sweet i think kylie ate i think so too well here i have a question I do have a question okay Selena and Taylor are best fucking friends if I was at an award show with you I would come up to you with any like hot gossip that I have that's what friends do uh-huh but at the same time do you weigh out that like I know in that moment I would be hyper aware of the cameras and their quality I personally think Selena Gomez is 100% deliberate

in every single thing that she does. Not in a bad way at all. I think she's amazing. Yeah. And talented at what she does. Yeah. I think that she probably knew. I think she stirs some stuff up.

That's what you do. And I love it. Me too. And she's- Yeah, that's some shit I would do. I would go up to you and be whispering something knowing the camera would see it and I would hit that extra mouth.

I know. Did you see that girl bus told me to think about it? And she was like, if I was at an award show, I would be like, yeah, Paul Mezcal literally just came up to me and said he wanted to fuck me

sideways, backwards, and upside down. Absolutely. Absolutely. Honestly, we should do a bit. Next award show we go to, they'll like really try. I know. Can we go to People's Choice

or are we on tour? I don't know'll find out invite us please at least brooke you were right what and i never here i'm gonna cover the other um sellable toes but if we could just get a close up in the edit we are missing a big toenail on Tana Marie's right foot. You you were right. I've never been wrong because I know everything there is to know about an injured toenail. I was beyond in belief that I was above this lore. I knew I knew there was nothing that was going to stop that black toenail from falling

off your foot and you were completely right um so i get to hawaii and um i'm chilling on the beach like day one of being there um at one of my favorite resorts that i stay at a lot and i'm laying on the beach and i'm just chilling looking down on my phone and i look up and none other than grace o'malley is standing in front of me. I love that. And it was like the most amazing fucking surprise to see her. I fucking love her. We had so much. We were both starting dry January. So we kind of had a night where we got everything out of our system, you know, just one time together. What night? It's like my the first one of the first nights I was there. It was like right, like it wasn't the new year yet.

Oh, okay. I was just making sure that you weren't snitching on her for breaking. No, no, no, no, no. Dead ass. She, January 1st, she stopped. We have a night and it was just fun. We were like flopping all around the fucking resort together.

Like we lost everyone. We were being so funny. I think we both told each other way too much shit. I love that. I love her so much. It was fucking amazing. I want to show you actual a real video of us i thought it was funny though because you were in fucking hawaii like the most random place and you just happened to run into grace and i was in san diego with brie yeah it's i know we were texting about that like

how weird is that we like had a full crossover neither of us knew that we were gonna be with the other yeah which is crazy and it was incredible for both of us you were saying when i saw zach bryan again he's so fucking amazing i forgot that you did that it was that zach bryan was so fucking amazing and did you see what just happened with brianna's missing cat i did see that zach looking for the cat he's like i put 17 rotisserie chickens all around brianna's neighborhood. I've been out every night. He was out in a snowstorm by himself with like a fucking flashlight on his head. And from now on, I will never complain ever again about a man because if it's not him or if it's not someone like him, not him, but like someone like him, it's not worth it. Absolutely could not agree more.

They are so cute and wholesome and i'm glad you were cute and wholesome with them grace and i on the other hand we're not very wholesome i actually haven't watched any of these videos because they're gonna give me anxiety i think but just for you to know we were freestyling we we were freestyling i think it's incredible this is this was at 8 35 p.m oh um and then her and i take a walk and i say i'm gonna take you to my favorite bench and i have a favorite bench i have a favorite bench too do you where's your favorite bench in arizona i love that i have a photo of it if you need to see it I have a photo of my favorite bench I love that for us I posted it on Instagram last week love my favorite bench but

I've only sat on it with Makoa and I I'd like to keep it that way but I was like I really love Grace and I'm really having a good night on the bench I want to take her to my favorite bench and it's kind of a little trek like out in like the green like there's a lot of greenery a lot of grass and we get out to the favorite bench and we're chilling, we're talking, we're looking at the stars, we're vibing, whatever. I look down and there's a giant cockroach on my foot. And we've already talked about cockroach and how I react. And before I can even scream about said cockroach, I noticed that my toenail is opening like a book that's the best way i know how to describe it it was attached right here and i could open it like a book like a book i have yeah there's blood i think that was the moment grace realized that like maybe i don't need to

be this close with her like maybe we can you know what i mean and had some sense come over her look at it look at it look at it i don't want to but i've seen it i've experienced this i don't need to see it again because i have lived it i'm just hoping that at some point i can go to hawaii and like not make a physical injury or like thing like a tooth a toe like i just one time and i really am starting to think that my man is just dead convinced that i'm always like this and it like sucks well it's like you said before it's almost like it's better for when you're normal because it makes him think like oh my god this is so special it's starting to horrify me i limped around all week again and it's just yeah did it hurt do you remember actually i can't say that so i have a i have this friend who also lost her toenail

and she made it like the biggest like the the toenail gate lore on her story was like the most insane thing. She was like every single story for like six weeks straight was about her having lost her toenail. Okay. And keep in mind, I lost both my toenails in extreme like blunt force trauma incidents. All right. So I know what it's like. Two days, Max, you're out.

You're fine. Six weeks straight, this girl is talking about her toenail. And it was like, it was cracking me up so bad. She like missed a wedding. She got wheeled into the era's tour in a wheelchair. And like, I was watching it all unfold. Like, you know what? I don't know what the drama, like the trauma was.

So I don't know how she lost her toenail. So I can't say that like it wasn't a traumatic experience and she wasn't severely injured. But if it was the toenail alone, that's the funniest story I've ever heard in my life. Absolutely. It's everyone treats you like it hurts. And it really doesn't because it's dead. It doesn't. It's gone.

Maybe hers wasn't dead, though, when it came. Although mine wasn't dead. Neither of mine were dead when they came off. Oh, that sounds awful. Now I'm like sounds awful now i'm like i don't know i don't know how i'm gonna take it gets like hit like that it just like dies and comes off i don't know i wanted to keep it because i just feel like it's never going to be the same again and i'm actually really scared for my source of income i personally don't have either i've been taking all my foot picks like this covering the big toe with the back of my other toe.

And I have tried. You're going to have to reach into the archives. I've also tried some Facetune patching. And I've almost gotten to the point where I can put this toe on that toe. Well, as soon as you grow a little bit of a stump, you can press something on there. But I don't want to because then that's just going to keep. I'm going to keep up with the lore. No, I mean, like mine grow.

They just don't grow very long. Is your toenail right now a press on but it's because okay so like obviously your toenail usually is like attached to your skin but like once that like attachment goes away because your toenail fell off it's like it'll grow but like it's not growing attached to your skin anymore so it grows and then it just falls off and it's weirdly like a poetic metaphor i'm sure like there's a way to make it happen properly again but like the problem is i there's no life in which i can live without my toenails long enough for it to completely heal and go back to i'm gonna do it so i have to put them back on see you're but you're braver than i because i'm not going anywhere without my toenail i'm not stepping in the sand without my toenails and having someone look down and say, is that a toenail-less girl?

That was me for the past two weeks. I can't. I just, yeah, I don't want, because I just have enough. I tried to live life

with just band-aids around them. That's like not a horrible. I should put a band-aid, like just raw dogging it is a little nutty, but it's like, it's careful because now you're susceptible

to fungus. Really? Mm-hmm. But that, I think you had a fungus already based on what i could see green i was it was i'm basing it off the thickness of your toenails prior to now and there's no shame in that i felt shame one in three people has toenail fungus i just made that statistic up i just can't add another thing to my upkeep list like spray tan hair extension like no i know the fact that

i have to spend like an hour out of every week attaching my not every week i do it literally once a month but i have to glue on my toenails and then one time or sometimes actually more than one time i've lost a toenail in a situation where i can't get a new one and then i'm like like it'll just fall off where i once at your birthday trip in Hawaii. And I was in bed with poor, sweet Abby Wetherington. And she was like, is this a toenail I found?

I was like, yes, it is. I'm going to try to really grow it out. And I think it's going to be fun on tour. Like maybe I'll do open toed shoes and there can be like a special meet and greet for my toe. Let me know if you guys would pay extra for that.

Brooke, shoes and there can be like a special meet and greet for my toe let me know if you guys would pay extra for that uh brooke i have thoroughly enjoyed keeping up with the lore of you and i on this week's episode let me actually say one more city we're going to milwaukee i sort of got milwaukee's fake i think i've had a show there before. Yeah, Milwaukee's not real. Yeah, we'll be there. We love you guys. A tour announcement coming soon. Stephen Hawking is dead. Leave Gypsy alone. Let me know if you've been to Mount Rushmore.

Forkies. Hunter's in love with me. Bye. Bye. Yay! Bye.