Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 71: EXPOSING AUSTIN MCBROOM… again with Trevor Wallace - Ep.71

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

On this episode of Cancelled Brooke and Tana are joined by the Trevor Wallace. We discuss Austin Mcbroom’s meltdowns on snapchat, the dynamics of hate watching, and Trevor gives the girls some advice for tour. Try MOOD’s new THCa flower today! For a limited time only, get 20% off your first order and a FREE THCa pre-roll. Just go to https://hellomood.com and use promo code CANCELLED.  Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A To listen to the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Ben MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Come see the Cancelled Podcast live. New Orleans, Houston, Austin, San Antonio, Oklahoma City, Nashville, and Royal Oak. We've added new dates. We're so excited to meet you guys and come hear the podcast live with no cuts. Love you. Hello and welcome back to the canceled podcast. Starring me, Vape Talk Trev.

Hello. Vape Talk Trev. We're so excited to have you back today. We have a recurring guest now today. You're a crowd favorite. Am I really? Yeah. I had a lot of fun being on the podcast.

Do you not read the comments? No, I did. I was just looking for the comments about you guys being like how beautiful you guys are. I don't read comments on myself. Oh, he's doing it already. Yeah, I read the comments. I got a lot of great DMs. That was a great episode for me.

Oh, yeah. DMs popping off. Because what did you say? Because your guys' audience is out here. Yeah. And they're all girls. They are all girls. What did we say on the last episode that was like a DMm that you like to receive or get center like what was the like recurring one that

you were well you said that god sent me one here yeah and there was a lot of that there's a lot of god sent me did you respond to anybody i said bitch i'm atheist no no there was a lot of that which was good you don't need to be created to slide into a guy's DM you can literally write a middle finger emoji and I'll be like I'm blushing you know well the people loved you

they I think we've come to a pretty general consensus that the only guests that have been really well received are like people want them back are Trisha and Trevor

Trisha and Trevor oh Hannah Burner too though yeah Leo Skeppy yeah honestly it's like half and half but yeah

scary for anyone's first time because like a lot of times people would be like never again yeah but yeah scary for anyone's first time because like a lot of times people would be like never again yeah really and then we feel bad because we're like sorry here's your clips you don't have to post it at all i don't even send clips i think at all and it's like i would just don't read anything we're so sorry yeah oh damn you guys turn off comments or no no i like money if you turn off comments you don't get money no just like engagement. Oh, yeah. That makes sense.

That makes sense. Well, last time I brought gifts, so I had to double down this time. I brought gifts again. You brought gifts again? I brought gifts again. And the gift is sitting right fucking here. It's me, bitch. No, I brought gifts.

Your presence is a gift. You guys are matching again a little bit, by the way. Yeah, I got the tan. I got a tan bag on me. I know. I think we're on the same wave just all the time. We have same like kind of like airdrop mentality i love airdrop mentality mentality could pop off so is there a tennis racket in there be honest hold on we look at the shape i'm a man i don't know how to wrap things first gift yeah wait what happened what do you mean it's a tote

bag right it's two tote bags like tied together i love men this is this is a double sided dildo like the paris story oh my god i can't believe i told that on this podcast by the way i had like a whole out of body the other day where i was like holy fucking shit you i thought it was a beautiful story i was engaged i just i'm reformed now and i think about all of the things that i've said yeah digital footprint i think about it all the time like i cannot unsay that and forever there's gonna be that one's just like that was way too far i did not need to tell that story on the canceled podcast i was sitting here like oh we're going here me too but i was like you know what own it at the time it just felt so like camp and kitschy that i did that and now looking back it's like you psycho slut it's

so funny because this was like a few months ago i think it was like i'm a completely different person no you are you are and we love to see this transformation yeah i think that was the the that was the finale of my insane antics yeah and that was the streamies was your or the steamies the steamies was for sure the finale the streamies what did you do that the streamies well there's actually two separate catastrophes one was steamies one was streamies that's it two events i really really really can't host um award shows and wait i heard about this what happened streamies i was just awkward embarrassing i swore on stage i'm not supposed to swear on stage i said who wrote that about what i was reading off the teleprompter yeah i went to koi on the copy that from you oh did he say that yeah he said he sorry, like my writers wrote this or something.

Oh, that's actually fucking crazy. I did not know that. And then Chelsea Handler like said. She did her response. When I watched Chelsea Handler host, what was that? Which award show? I don't know. She did the one right at Emmys, I believe after.

It reaffirmed that I will just never be able to do anything in an award show. Not yet. He's her ex. So her making fun of him was like hilarious. They dated? Yeah. Yeah. I did not know that. I like her. Power couple.'s the power couple who is it oh yeah chelsea handler and 50

cent that's true oh i forgot i remember that i was young i think that that shaped me a lot god she's an icon streamies uh streamies yeah i i was embarrassing i swore on stage whatever steamies is the was the h3 live show like h3 does uh oh oh i think it's at age three i was like there's no way steamy and age three are allowed in the same sentence no at all at all at all um age three is crazy h3 h3 yeah it was me jeff um and i hosted it really really poorly uh really really messily drunkenly embarrassingly yeah i mean if you weren't me i think you could watch it and laugh at it and be like that bitch is fucking i think it's just gonna be one of your like iconic moments that we think about but like in a funny way like it was

camp i think we we uh interchange iconic and just fucking embarrassing a lot but i'll take it it's a moment in time i've always said that. Yeah, what's in the double toe? First gift is for Brooke. Cat toy for Murph. Do you want to get married? That's actually so cute. I do.

Is that all I say? Yeah. So this one. Wait, that's actually so cute. That's so sweet. Yeah. She's going to be so happy, except I know that she's going to do this in the middle of the night.

Oh, yeah. That's why I wanted them out of my house. I had those. I was like, get the fuck out of my house. Oh, so you re-gifted these? Fuck yeah. Are you kidding me? If you look on the left, there's one missing.

Trevor. Listen, baby. It's almost there. Honestly, it's almost there. I think you'll like this one. It's the nicest thing you guys ever done for me. I can't believe he's topping McDonald's in a vape. This is impressive.

That was a good one. That's what I'm saying. Last time I went hard and thoughtful on McDonald's. So this one is more geared towards Tana. This is, I'm proud of this one. Okay. I'm proud of this one. This is amazing.

I'm here for that. I'm really proud of this one. Why is it so big? Hey, I hear that a lot. No. I start sobbing. So you probably miss your Hawaiian man,

huh? I got you a ukulele from Hawaii. Play a Queen Kane song song don't do it you're on fire this is what i meant this is what i meant when i said we had no topics today and trevor would just carry oh no do you know any clinton kane songs yeah give us something you're in the right ballpark he's not apologizing for anything one thing about me that you may or may not know is I love a fun toy

like this is going to sit right next to my tambourine and I'm so excited what are the toys? I have my tambourine this is going to sit right next to my tambourine and I'm going to use it that's from Hawaii though did you go there? is this actually from Hawaii?

so you were just roaming around the house like what reminds me of them literally yes this is incredible from the abc store it's actually a beautiful ukulele i'm surprised that you're um getting rid of it yeah maybe i'm taking all these gifts back after this episode to re-gift to um yeah somebody else the giggly squad yeah later but no i don't know i just i just thought maybe you missed that man i do think about them with that yeah i'm gonna serenade him with it later honestly and he'll The Giggly Squad. The Giggly Squad, yeah. But no, I don't know. I just thought maybe you missed that man. I do miss him. You can think about them with that. Yeah, I'm going to serenade him with it later, honestly. Maybe he'll play it for you when he comes down here.

Just assuming he plays the ukulele. See, I feel like that's a safe assumption, right? If you grew up in Hawaii, I feel like you do play the ukulele. You know your way around it, you know? Yeah. I also feel like Hula would be up there, no? Yeah. Good hips?

For sure. Good hips? No sure no that's now i'm getting like is that offensive no does your man does he not have good hips do you think he could hit a little yeah i think he hits a little oh hold on for sure do you guys ever watch lilo and stitch oh i thought it was gonna be a wild story after that i knew she made it yeah that's my favorite movie. Really? Lilo and Stitch? I don't think I've ever seen Lilo and Stitch. It's great.

It's a banger. Oh my God. You would love it. I know about Stitch's lore. Her word of the week is lore. Lore? Lore. Yeah.

That's like their like objective or who they are. I need to read the actual definition of lore to see how much I'm missing. See, having to Google it shows that you should not be using it as often as you are. Yeah, I like using words. I don't know what they mean either. It's kind of fun. A body of traditions and knowledge on a subject or held by a particular group typically passed from person to person by word of mouth that's too much words for what yes i still have no idea what

lore means i haven't used the definition in the definition it'll be one who uses their lore i'm like bitch you didn't answer anything at all i don't i don't get it what's going on with osmoc broom he's beefing with the internet you're doing so fucking good good. I'm serious. You were carrying this podcast on your back. Because I, on my podcast, want to talk about this, but like we're not recording for like a week. I'm like, fuck. At the same exact time, both posted a TikTok about it yesterday with complete opposite standpoint.

Which just says everything about us. Oh, shit. Well, that's great. What's your standpoint? My standpoint is that I want to see him incarcerated, to be honest. Oh. I don't know. I figure he has to have done something that could put him in jail.

Like, just for sure. Oh, over time? Yeah, just thinking about it. I remember a while ago, he was, like, trying to hire a nanny for his kids. He tried to hire, like, one of my friends as, like, a night nanny. Night nanny is a great Netflix movie title. But he was hiring via Snapchat. And the one requirement is when they came through,

they had to say that it was like she they were hired through an agency when talking to katherine okay so i did i tell you this you did tell me this a long time ago but like like so so like one of my friends went into like actually interview for it and she had to say it was like his grandma or someone's grandma who was there like part of the interview process the girl was the grandma like part of the interview process. The girl was the grandma? Like one of the people who was like going to hire her. And so she had to say like, yeah, they felt like Austin found me through an agency. But like, really, it was just like a hot girl he wanted around the house. Anyway, I hate him.

I think he should. Absolutely. I like, I can't say absolutely. And I know every time I say it that you're absolutely. I have always hated him. I have always, I've never been an Austin McBroom fan. I went on an entire year long tangent in like 2019, 2020 about how much I thought he was a shit person and that Catherine deserved better.

And all stories similar to that one of things I'd experienced, like a time where I was with Jake and him and found like a makeup product in his car. And then I had to like lie and say it was mine and it wasn't. And it was just like this whole thing. And then everyone was trying to negate my story and all this shit. I don't think anyone was like, could anybody even argue with that? I feel like it's just such common knowledge. Apparently the same thing happened to Erica Costell.

And then she came online and was like that. I think she was saying like that actually happened to me. And then I was like saying like it also happened to me me and then no one believed me because you know what i mean whatever i just think it's funny because he's still on snapchat getting that bread like it's the first person we've ever seen have a a breakdown mentally through snapchat uh their you know their their money how they're paying i that's what's crazy monetizing their breakdown knowing now like how much money people are making from snapchat i'm like god he's a genius keep doing those that's what it is he's probably making racks this week i know and he could after this just be like okay haha jokes on you guys right but like when i found out that his

whole like grippy sock moment is only on snapchat i did think to myself like that is kind of genius he's like he's he's probably making but it's so much fucking funny to see somebody like having like of each slide it's him like what do i do and then he's like it's like it's you're like reading along with those like dude marina sings could have made a bag doing this she really got the ukulele dude ukulele she did a 10 minute video i think if you do an apology video you got to put ads in it i would put ads every 13 seconds just to piss people off get that bad and you're still like i'm so sorry for what i today's nutria gina and they just keep cutting back god you're a genius if i ever have to apologize again which i will never made an apology video

that's a crazy question that yeah i was gonna say let's weigh up have you never done stand-up i just feel like watching him break it down on Snapchat. I mean, we had FouseyTube kind of do something similar to this on live stream or whatever. This is the first Snapchat one. I love to see him pioneer that. I mean, my TikTok's take was never in my life have I felt like I don't want Austin McBroom to stop making. Like, I've never felt like I want Austin Mc Broom to continue making content. It is fun to watch but I hate knowing that every single time I

enjoy and consume a video I'm paying the man. I try to get it third party like a TikTok screen recording when I can. That's okay. You know what I mean? Yeah I wish you could watch people stuff like turn off monetization for them. You're like I don't you know I'm not a fan of this person. Yeah that should be a choice. Oh my god but I'd be

in a tent under the 405 if that was the fucking thing so um oh no you know i've pitched this before like you know when you like hate watch somebody's tiktoks people probably do that to me yes i wish i could turn on like hater mode where i could just like watch somebody's whole feed and but like they're not recommended afterwards i couldn't agree more but then don't you want to continue hate watching true i love to hate watch. I say this all the time. It's my favorite. I hate watching things. Like I follow them.

Well, that's what happens. It eventually just becomes a part of your life. You're eventually like, this is stupid. This is stupid. I kind of want that. I hate watch this poor girl on YouTube just till the cows come home every week. And now my whole recommended issue is that all the time. I want to know who it is.

You have a certain person? Yeah. Can we say it? We can bleep it? Yeah, we can. She's sitting right here. You can say it. No. It's this yeah we can she's sitting right here you can say no um it's this girl but she's so sweet and she means well i think there's so many people worse

than her for sure who's your hate watch really really cringy people who like make like uh like couple like videos that are like couple oriented or something like that yeah or uh or or comedy that's just like two two two clean and it's just like that. I'm like, who is, why are they, why do these have so many views? Like almost like a type guy, you know? Yeah. The mouth cover was elite. Yeah.

Oh, you're a genius. Are you going to bleep that? You don't, I mean, I'm going to bleep it. I'm going to bleep it. Like they're successful at what they do, but I'm just like, I'm watching it the whole bit. I don't get it.

There is an audience for that though. It's like, I feel like just like. Like child Mormons? No, I think it's's i think it's middle-aged like people in middle america middle no i think that's like 13 year olds you do well i'm thinking like when i when i say that i think like but then again people watch my stuff be like man shut the fuck up no you're funny thank you so much but you guys ever post so much you ever look back at your feet man i need to just stop yapping every second of every day so much constantly But you guys ever post so much, you ever look back at your feed and be like, man, I need to just stop yapping. Every second of every day. So much constantly.

I was scrolling through my Instagram the other day looking for an old photo to like show someone something. And I have this entire era for like a year where I thought I was so fucking woke and profound. Really? When was this? And like probably like 2018, 20. Oh, you were ahead of the wokeness.

But not like that. Like she started actually like, and I found these photos of the wokeness but not like that like she started actually like and i found these photos of me where i did this photo shoot and i was like smashing a tv with a baseball bat and the entire caption was about like fuck the media and it was like huge like you had to press read more to find worse like so much worse but yes and it was like i i just i died i shrunk into myself and i was like this is so and it's still active on your instagram yeah and there's a lot of like that or anything like my entire like so many eras where i thought that like novel captions were the wave i always get afraid

of like what i'm doing right now that i'm gonna cringe at in a couple years or even like next year but i think inevitably that'll happen for anything in five years you're gonna hate whatever podcast you put out last week or yeah really whatever but what's your favorite era you've or even like next year. But I think inevitably that'll happen for anything. In five years, you're going to hate whatever podcast you put out last week or really whatever. But what's your favorite era you've been through? Both of you guys.

I think I've hated everything up until this one and I'll probably hate this one in the near future. Yeah, I think whatever whatever is happening right now is probably my favorite. But anything before

was like not good stuff. I was probably chill as like a newborn. But like all the gap is crying and shit. Like, go, go,

vape, vape. Yeah, no, I don't know. What's your favorite era you've been in? I've literally. Have you been in eras or do you feel like you cycle through a little?

I feel like I'm this, I feel like I'm just like an NPC daily. Like I got this comment that was like, when are you going to change that 2017 hairstyle? And I was like, fuck, I've had this hairstyle for like 10 years like lisa rinna you don't know who that is you know lisa rinna hasn't changed her hair in like literally years you don't have to she's been posting nudes like hold on she's like you're gonna know her when you see her and it's like

she's literally never had a different hairstyle in her entire life that's my fear is like right now i just do it because it's easy and I don't want to take risks with my hair. It's so Trevor Wallace coded. What are you going to do? A mullet or something? Well, you could. I could, but like then my face, I just look like fucking.

I want to see mullet and a mustache on Trevor Wallace. Mullet and a mustache? Have you ever had a mustache? Then I just look like I'm just fucking working at Barney's. Wait, didn't you just have a mustache? I did for a little bit. It was a good look. Wait, I was thinking, I think it was a skit I saw. Yeah, I had a little bit of a mustache. Okay. Both little bit it was a good look wait i was thinking i was i think it was a skit i saw yeah i had a little bit of a mustache okay both yeah i liked it i wish girls could have

mustaches i do i would fuck around and find out with a mustache girls can have a mustache but no but you know what i mean like a real mustache like um like handlebar yes curl it when i be kind of camp with that yeah or like chest hair what does camp mean every time i come here we also don't know every time i come here you have a new word last time it was like bible which was a very religious i think camp is supposed to be like so bad it's good what that's like the i think that's what it is right so i have no idea so bad it's i feel like i'm in a spelling bee can you use it in a sentence this ukulele is so camp. That pussy was camp. That would work. Really? I think I would have to jump. Yeah, that's fair.

A tent kind of looks like one. Where do we get to tent? What do you... Is that a callback to my tent joke? I think your brain works in a way that ours doesn't. I don't know if my brain does work for being honest quicker than ours for sure well i'll speak for myself i know

i don't understand half the things you say i don't either i don't know you made a joke downstairs and i wanted to laugh so bad because i knew it was probably really funny that's how i feel watching too smart or too good of movies like a every like a 24 film i'm like oh i've always said that like i'm not watching anybody's interstellar like i won't ever understand interstellar no it's so good but you do have to watch it like five times before you understand if you so much as like i don't like when movies and shows have like a precursor but it's so good i'm just not smart enough i'm really smart enough but you don't have the attention span i remember i went and saw oppenheimer and she she's like should i see it enough, but you don't have the attention span. I remember I went and saw Oppenheimer and she, she's like, should I see it?

I'm like, please don't bother. No offense. How many vapes did you bring for that? Did you, did you see it? When I go on like a four day trip, I really do bring like seven vapes. I get it. Like I was just in Hawaii for like three weeks and I think I brought like almost 20. Do vapes do the same thing to your lungs that like a cigarette does?

I don't know. And I want, I think cigarettes would be like more camp for me. I don't think so. I think, I think your teeth would turn Brown and then you would get these one because they're made out of toilet seats, but then these probably wouldn't, it'd be like a whole thing, you know? Aren't you? Wait, are they made out of toilet seats?

I don't know. They're porcelain. I thought you were allergic to porcelain. I am. Oh, do they come out easy? Um, yes, they do. Think like Legos. You say you could do they come out easy um yes i don't know they do think like legos you so you could do it right now no i can't i was gonna say what a great thumbnail that'd be

yeah that would i would honestly at this point with the rate that they do fall out i almost wish they were like something has it ever fallen out yeah midhead midhead um it's kind of a cool trick because the the guy's brain would be like dude i'm fucking packing i'm knocking teeth out like the tooth fairy i never thought about yeah would you be like proud of yourself yeah i mean really anything that's different you're like oh like any like oh you're like whoa i'm fucking packing i did one of my tooth was just recently loose um give head but i felt like it was like really bad head like i was giving head like you eat soup almost and i don't know how to get that any further than it is but i wouldn't recommend blowing on it yeah not kidding at all or like a boba straw like i just wasn't it wasn't my peak my peak i don't know if your boyfriend would like you to say that his dicks i'm not talking about i'm saying just big straws out of all the straws they're the

biggest i am not comparing his dick to a boba straw i'm just saying the way you suck on a boba straw was kind of how i was sucking on and see i'm gonna regret this in four months you know what i mean what's coming out of my mouth right now that's life and that's that's just how it is you know yeah anyway who do you hate who do i hate be honest i'm thinking i'm really thinking cue me up with some people how about that you just go throw a few out and i'll go thumbs up thumbs down come on uh have you ever had like a like real beef with someone not really it's been like very like micro beef where like somebody thought i stole a video idea from them or something or but it's really been like very micro beef i just

i can't fight i'm frail i got skinny fingers i'm not throwing down oh one time this guy in middle school he kept hitting me like in the dick in class so i went to hit him back one time and he ducked down i hit him in the nose. Got a bloody nose in class. And then he's like, this Saturday, we're fighting behind a Vons. You know, meet me there at 12. And I didn't go. Why would you go? And then on Monday, he's like, bro, why weren't you there? I was there with my older brother.

I'm like, yeah, that's exactly why I go to my own fight. My own death. I got my sister's got a fucking rack on her. What am I going to bring her slapping with a tit? I have the rack just caught me so off guard. Wait, calling your sister and saying your sister has a rack is like a really crazy choice. Have you ever been like, wow, she's hot? No.

Well, I mean, it wasn't too far. I mean, you did say your sister has a rack. I didn't say that. I got my sister's got a fucking rack on her. What am I going to bring her? When did you realize your sister had a rack i imagine obviously as an adolescent boy big enough she's gonna see that clip and be like what you said it you made me say it we have a friend who has a crush on her um cousin oh and she's serious about it. She talks about it. In this state? Mm-hmm.

Cousin hot? But I'm pretty sure I did like in college I studied like the stages of development and there's an actual stage of like childhood development where you're supposed to be attracted to your family members. Huh. Anyway. I got my sisters you got a fucking rack on her. I really don't want kids after that. You don't have one person in your family that you think is hot? Well actually I got

wildly accused of wanting my cousin for a period of my life. And a lot of it was by... Who accused her? Your cousin? Yeah, a lot of it was by my own cousin. And I just, I don't understand. We were just good friends. What happened? What kind of cousin?

Like first cousin? No, like, I don't really know. My whole family lines are blurred. You know what I mean? Everyone was hatched I have a hot cousin but he's not my real he's not my cousin by like blood he's my yeah like someone got married

and then he's my cousin that way or had a kid or something I don't know I think I played into it a little though hear me out my cousin was best friends with my like one of my like first boyfriends right and so when the boyfriend kind of did me like wrong it was easy to like come around and be like flirting with my

cousin i'm so close with my cousin oh this is how every porn starts but then ashley started fucking my cousin so then that um nice she cut down the family tree yeah i'm glad she shut that down but kind of scary do you think you ever would have done it one time i was logged in the way she just didn't even say no no i would never fuck my cousin i will never fuck my cousin i never wanted to fuck my cousin there's still time but one time he had his twitter on my phone because he like lost his phone or something and he needed to log into his twitter but then i always had his twitter you know and obviously like of course at that time even now if i had like anyone's instagram on my phone or twitter on my phone i would read their messages like i'm just i'm too nosy like

yeah especially if and this was before all the iphone features like there was no like separate notification like you would just get the notifications you know what i mean and one time he sent a dick pic oh to his girlfriend you you looked at your febreze can and his dick was like the size of the febreze can and i remember being like i would use a big lighter down there like the fact that the fact he's a febreze can already breeze can and i'll never forget it i'm already saw it too it was like a whole thing crazy cousin lore but packing yeah that's crazy how long did you look at it be honest we're gonna have another incest scandal this is gonna we've had an dude i don't want my cousin i've always said that i'm just sharing

some lore yeah this is just family gossip yeah yeah we're just keeping it in the fam crazy to just put something i don't know if i would like to receive a dick pic with there where there was like a side like something for reference it would make me feel dumb you know it's like let me do no i've only sent one oh you'll like this story i sent one and i think it was to a robot i think it was too uh it was on the 405 maybe like six years ago okay you were driving on the 405 driving six years ago 405 in my mazda three ladies what's up years ago um and i was getting these messages on snapchat and i was like bro it was very early on in when i started making videos and i'm getting these messages on snapchat and i was like bro it was very early on

in when i started making videos and i'm like yo this fucking whoever this chick is she found my snap like she wants it boom yeah we're going back she sends a titty picture it's a little grainy weird crop no face i'm in you know so i get this message like i'll show you everything if you just send one back and i'm driving and i'm like no no no and it's like just do it right and i'm fucking aroused so i just sent all my fucking suede seats just straight up dick pic okay opened that was the last of that couldn't find their their snap name after that ever again yeah i think it's a robot your first dick pic ever left you on the scene yeah but i think it was a russian robot what would you have done like what if something were to have happened like what if you had

somebody and you were like taking a dick what what if it was so bad that that's the last thing they saw like they arrived at the scene and there was just a dick pick on your suede seat oh wow I would call insurance and I would be like my airbag didn't go off my dick was out I would hide it in there you know that is funny one of my friends got pulled over for speeding one time because she was like on a long road trip and she just like pulled a vibrator out started using it on the road and then was like speeding because she just got carried away wow how fast is she going fast that's honestly sick it was i can't wait to know who it was. I kind of feel like it was, it wasn't coded,

but, um, your story for some reason reminded me of like Omegle days and like, you know what I mean? Did you guys ever have like accidental Omegle sex with people? That wasn't really my vibes. Really? I never did, but we,

we would like me and my friends. Anytime there's a dick on the screen, we'd be like small, small and just like troll them. Yeah. I think anybody who has their dick out on omegle like wants that probably like i feel like these people who have like humiliation kinks oh maybe you don't think so thinking about like this is like pre-laptop days so like they had to angle it on a fucking desktop like you know how hard it is

to get that angle like with a webcam what do you what about like detachable webcam cooking books under the desktop to lean it forward and shit how long has Omegle been around was it like like dial up they're done you know it's yeah they're done now no they literally like this year were like we're done I was like what but Charlotte is still out there oh well I didn't even think about that there has to be like

a lot of like sex crimes that happen on probably just crimes in general yeah a lot of sex crimes that's true I definitely unknowingly partook in some okay well I was just underage and i was on omegle being i was just were you flashing the camera on omegle was that your vibes no but i was just definitely down to like meet people and get weird okay i'm really like breadcrumbing today that's okay i used to impersonate celebrities online wait hold on that's somehow worse than what tana was just saying i know we always say we're gonna make it a podcast topic and then i

never do but i'm not kidding it was like such a thing i don't know what kind of mental illness that is but i was obsessed with doing that as a kid when i was like nine you gotta you gotta give him the full lord i was selena gomez first of all sorry selena um i was selena i was miley you're like i'm deactivating my account. And I was so serious. I didn't even have a computer. So I would do it literally from the library. How'd you know I was at the library?

That's where all weirdos go to impersonate people. Yeah. So imagine like if anyone looked over my shoulder and I was like, yep, it's me, Selena. I was like fully. If you use a computer in public, you're an insane person already. I was just at a Best Buy the other day getting a hard drive. And this guy was Googling photos of George Washington. I'm like, for fucking what dude he's dead what are you looking up i used to like use computers at the apple store i would use a computer wherever i could same yeah we were poor trevor lucky you mr computer at home yeah it was a family

computer okay and i watched a lot of porn on that i'm like andy had a family i had to pay for them yeah they were hot anyway what's uh noelle miller just did this whole bit this stand-up bit on like watching porn on the family computer and how that was that's like something that like today's generation will never get to experience think about that and i didn't think about that at all do you remember ever turning like the modem off with like your toe? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, the little button on the- It was a little warmer down there. Yeah.

The cat would be down there. Do you remember the first porn you ever watched? There was porn everywhere in my house. I feel like I had like, my parents were like magazine types and they would just have them in the bathroom. So I was like, what's that? Like what type of magazine? And my mom did not care.

Just like full porn magazines no like porn they used to make magazines with people like fucking in them yeah they still do oh yeah they still do but it was around like i was like exposed like very very young i was like whoa that's horrible yeah and i just wasn't expecting that to go anywhere what was the first one you saw i don't remember the first porn i saw but i think the first time i ever saw was when vanessa hudgens nudes got leaked i remember looking them up i looked them up too i'm so sorry vanessa she's honestly marrying my friend yeah oh i love vanessa hudgens and i don't i mean that's horrible but just at the time i remember looking that up my first intro was boobs.com and it worked swear to god i was like i had the whole internet ahead of me and i was like boobs and then it was literally a website did it work i used to go on this like it was like

funnyjunk.com and there was like it was the original like meme page and it was all like funny stuff but there were like so many like yeah you had to find a way to find it yeah i wanted to do it in a way that was like no one's gonna look at the history and be like i was searching exactly you always had you always knew where to start you're like a detective i got an older sister I wanted to do it in a way that was like, no one's going to look at the history and be like, I was searching. Exactly. You always had, you always knew where to start. You're like a detective. I also had an older sister. So she just was like bad influence.

Would she like tell you shit she would do? Oh yeah. She would, she like, I was like five. She's like, do you know what sex is? I'm like, no. And then I knew. From your sister? Mm-hmm. She, she wanted to tell, she told, she blew everything for me.

Santa. Oh, what did she blow Brooke? What are it like i remember if you go to whitehouse like dot com it was porn whitehouse.gov was like the government that's crazy so like all this whole time my parents thought i was like studding no i was getting bricked up george w bush if you will keyword bush we out here yeah but like in my head i was like i'll never get caught wait some a guy just told me that he started jerking off when he was like nine is that possible can you jerk off when you're nine i don't know this is an inappropriate conversation can you do that i i don't i don't know were you nine i don't know i don't know how old i was i was i was in middle school i don't know how i don't know how old I was. I was in middle school.

I don't know how old nine is. I don't know how... I don't either. And I can't look at a kid and identify how old they are. If I see a kid, they could be anywhere from four to 12. I'm like, it's a kid. It's a fair assessment. Not you. What part?

How old were you when you started jerking off? I think I didn't know what i was doing for a while like i was jerking off but i think i thought it was like the same as like sneezing or like itching and scratch yeah i don't know what i was doing either i remember my dad my dad and i weren't really like close sexually in that okay what the fuck no no no no no no no no you mean like in like uh in like uh where we would talk like the birds the bees. Like I have a whole joke on the birds and the bees. But I remember one day he parked the car and he looked over. He's like, do you do that?

Have you done it yet? I was like, what? He's like, you know, like he just would like not say it. And then I remember the craziest thing he said. He goes, did anything like come out after? And I was like, what's happening? I thought my fucking kids cuisine into watching Simpsons. Is there a part like I feel like if i had a kid i

would never want to have the birds and the bees talk with them like once i kind of knew that was like obviously in their realm why were you like snarling was i it was like i would just fucking no i was agreeing i was like yeah i'll just be like pornhub.com figure it out or like once i knew they were like in that realm i'd be like you know be safe but i wouldn't be like this is what it is like you know what i mean i don't know well you would hope i guess they they do it in school now do they i remember my teacher was in seventh grade she was crazy she was she was like yelling about it that day she was excited oh she put well i don't know do you remember getting it oh we never got it you didn't Vegas no one oh we did

we did but I feel like again older sister I was like old news how old were you when you lost it um I was like about to turn 15 no or I was 15 I was going into my sophomore year it was like the summer of freshman year everybody has a friend who lost it like 12 or 13 it was like in the woods and you're like what are you talking about i'm playing sega genesis over here you're fucking in the goddamn rainforest cafe what's your what was your virginity like i was 17 it was on homecoming my date left me and this girl's date left me wait i think you did we ask you about this last episode i don't know maybe we talked about it on our date oh maybe i don't know but different schools same homecoming night and then she was like uh

come over i had to climb through a window to do it so pretty fun wait that's fun it's like exciting yeah you're doing because there's an alarm on the front door and this is like pre-ring camera days i like how do kids sneak out yeah more like everybody's got a ring camera everybody's got like some like alarm you know i feel like all kids now are so like you mom coded you know like if the parents have a ring camera they have enough going for them that i don't know you think there's a way around it i don't know and like fine like i feel like people track their kids so much yeah like all that it's probably way but that night let's see uh she had had sex before i had never yeah and i don't want to tell her because I was like, this is I don't know if that's fucked

up to do, but I was nervous. And then afterwards, I don't know. Nobody tells you what to do after sex for the first time. I'm laying there. I put on music choice. Vibes are high. What was your music choice? Do you remember?

It was literally called music choice. I was a channel. I'm a fucking boomer. OK. No, like music choice. It would just be like on like yeah cable network like 1000 whatever

but I remember rolling over and being like so how was that and what she said how was that I think she was like what she was like uh yeah like it was it was a thing and to me I was like damn she's stuttering she's speechless

yeah I think it was very average you know I still don't think I know what It was a thing. And to me, I was like, damn, she's stuttering. She's speechless. Yeah, I think it was very average. I still don't think I know what to say after. Sometimes I'll be like, good work. How do you feel about a high five after? I'm all for a high five after. Oh, fun. Yeah. Fun.

I'm into a high five after. What's the worst thing you guys ever said after? I don't know. It doesn't help that you're looking up right now. No, I know. It's't help that you're looking up right now. No, I know. It's fun to reminisce on now. Did you guys ever have a list on your phone? Guys, every guy in the frat had a list of every...

I kind of still have a list. I haven't added to it lately, but I have one. But I went to college. College is when you start the list. Yeah, and I had it organized by fraternity. Not kidding. I do. Surprisingly, that's actually crazy, which is really horrible.

Pike, I made a killing. Oh, my God. Really? Do you bang anybody in like the math frat or something? The math? No, I don't. I don't think so. No.

Yeah. The guy version of that would be like the first name of something about it. It'd be like Sophia fat ass. Oh, that was so yeah like i've seen matt rife stiff socks episode code okay i loved the new episode with um your guys's dads the dads was fun so funny dads are in here moms no i would love to do that i want to do that with deborah and fawn fawn would be hilarious but she says all I do is talk shit about her and she deserves financial compensation. And who's this? Fawn is my mom. She says that about you? She's not very fond of you? I'm crushing it. Really, really good one. No, she's hilarious, but I don't know.

I would love to. I've always wanted to do that. So I think you should. I mean, like you'll learn a lot. Like I like I said earlier, I was, like, not super, super close with my parents growing up. We're, like, surface level. But, like, when my dad came on the podcast, he's talking about, like, his favorite position. I'm like, what are you saying to me? But also, I was like, good for you. I think that's fun when you start being friends with your parents instead of, like, it being, like, a parental relationship. I feel like I only have, like, friendships with my parents.

Yeah. Like, a year ago, my dad was like, before he was going to sleep, he's like, what type of edible do you want? I was like, you used to beat my ass for this. Now I get to pick Indica versus Tiva. He like knows his strains. There's five milligrams, 10 milligram.

I'm like, you need help. Do you think you'll be a strict parent? I think, yeah, I'd say so in the beginning, but, but not too much too strict.

They start doing heroin after like high school. Yeah. That's like, it's like a hard thing to say. Cause my, I had my grandparents and they were so lenient. So I almost didn't want to do anything wrong. Cause it was like boring. Yeah. I played down. That's like a hard thing to say because I had my grandparents and they were so lenient. So I almost didn't want to do anything wrong because it was like boring.

You know, I play down. That's like the goal, though. I think that's absolutely. Yeah. But like, yeah, all the strict parents have the kids who end up shooting up. I feel like you were like shooting up. Oh, I was thinking like shooting up. That, too.

I think it's the stricter you are, the more parents like don't do this. That makes you just want to do that. Yeah. I think any private school kids, they went straight to... I remember the first high school party I went to was in Calabasas. Kids were doing cocaine at 15. I'm like, bro, you already got enough energy. What the hell are you doing coke for? It's so funny, money.

Ari grew up with money, and he was saying that everyone was doing cocaine. We grew up down the hill in Canada. I had one friend who was randomly doing coke, and I swear we were 13. We were like, what the fuck? It's just funny to be coked out when you're 13. You guys ready to do some long division? Damn, I'm so happy that was not introduced to me as a youngin. I wouldn't have dropped out though.

I wasn't even, honestly, no one was doing coke in college for me either. You would have graduated faster. Like I didn't see coke until I was here. Really? Not here, but like here. I love not here. Not in this parameter. This couch is seen in its days.

You know, this one. Yeah. I just wonder like Hollywood back in like the 80s and 90s was watching a movie that like portrayed the Motley Crue back in the day. And it's the dirt. Yeah. MGK. MGK is just acting and everything. He did really good in that role.

It's a great movie. I'm like, dude, I don't fucking want to do that but like i just want to know like back in la days like those days like was that as crazy as they're portraying or is it a movie and they're just gonna up up play it or is it like you walk an apartment everybody's doing heroin stem and coke and fucking each other in our bathroom i believe it was like that i think it was like that and i also think they're like no phone no social media all that type of shit like imagine yeah they don't know what to do with their hands oh that's good yeah i just can't imagine like you know what hollywood would be like if there were no phones and social media and we kind of get a glimpse of it we've been hanging out like one of my guy friends is like well he's 50 and so he was like here for it all

yeah i have this like random 50 year old friend. I love him so much too. And I never talk about him because it makes me sound like I'm like a sugar baby or something. But it's actually just like my friend who's 50. Yeah. And we went to dinner with him the other night and people treated us like fucking hookers. Yeah, we look like we're just like hookers hanging out with this guy. But he's the coolest guy because he was really like around for all of that.

And like that was his like his friends are like Pam and Tommy andy and all that so he like will kind of tell us about it and it's like i wish we could have lived it this sounds fun to do like for a weekend and come back to like 2024 it is really nice that's literally what we do honestly and it's it's cool he has so much like disdain for this generation of hollywood and i kind of see why he makes it so wi-fi won't work at his house he like literally does everything on like a like a jukebox of Hollywood and I kind of see why. He does. He makes it so Wi-Fi won't work at his house. He like literally does everything on like a jukebox. It does sound kind of sugar baby. Yeah. Honestly, it sounds like we're being like trafficked or something.

I wish we were those high end escorts like those all those girls and they don't all fuck that you just see on like a yacht and a jet like all the fucking time and like I think they're so easy and fun. You think so?

That any of them are getting away with not doing anything? Maybe. I don't know. I'm not knocking it. I found success in that. Like finessing guys like that and not fucking, you know? Hmm. Let's move on.

It seems fun to do. Mess around. Would you ever be a sugar baby? How do I do that? you could be a sugar but there's like a lot of like older women who really want just like a young guy i would do it for like a certain amount maybe like up to a thousand a month because then that's nothing too crazy it's like you know just send me a shirtless selfie wait why would you you wouldn't want more than that no because once you're at too much of it then they like then they feel like they can control your life oh it's almost giving you 25k you know a week like

you're like yeah bitch fucking do this and you're like oh i guess i have to now i've just done a lot of things for free what would it be for a guy to a girl sugar mama sugar mama sugar mama it'd be funny if she's like 60 she doesn't know how to like text like she doesn't know how to like facetime right you know sometimes it's just fun like you want someone young next to you i could see myself ending up being like a share with like a fucking 25 year old boyfriend at like 70 madonna too right she did that are they right i think it's iconic that's how i feel now i feel like i couldn't date someone younger well my boyfriend's 24 and i'm 25 but i feel like i look younger Remember when you had that scandal? Yeah. There was a real scandal where everyone thought she was 35. Oh, like online.

I had to post my ID. It got so bad I had to post my ID. That's fucked. It's like really sad, no? Like that many people were like, damn, she really is like. And you probably posted and people probably like photoshopped. The power just went out. That was scary.

And it's been like 30 minutes. i'm really sorry that that just happened now you're totally good that was our first major canceled malfunction and it was it was scary no because we thought your house was on fire and you only like mildly cared and then you looked in the camera and you said i'll buy another one bitch and then you spit on your producer he's shivering in the corner i feel like that's what people really fucking think i'm like then you spit on your producer it's really weird we don't need to do this right now he's shivering in the corner i feel like that's what people really fucking think i'm like what do people say to you and laugh which like really hurt like what if you will say to you in public it's probably like oh my god i love you like i watch this stuff but like is there do

you ever get like weird backhanded compliments like i get those all the time all the time i'm trying to think about what they are like yeah i usually like don't really like comedy and you have a face that i didn't think i'd like oh this happened on the improv this guy goes uh he goes dude i saw you walk up there and i was like something about this guy i just don't like but dude you're actually really funny it's always you're actually and it's never you are i was like hey man didn't need the build-up we didn't need the suspense you know oh my god yeah i always get that like that i thought i was gonna hate you blah blah we were talking about this the other day in the car. Because her fans are so comfortable. Like, I feel like she shares so much that everyone's so comfortable.

They really feel like they're your best friend. Yeah, you can start a cult easily. So she'll come up. Like, people will come up and be like, I'm trying to think of, like, some things that people have said to you that I'm like, oh, my God, I cannot believe. People come up to me, like, on 10 all the time. I think people think because I can be, like, abrasive that, like, A, that I'm always like that and and b that they should do that to me and i understand people are like nervous in the moment sometimes when meeting someone they watch online or just like whatever like shit like that so shit can happen that they don't mean like that but i feel

like when i'm with other influencer friends and or people and people come up to them people are always very respectful and nice and nice to everyone and but my fans i feel like will come up to me and like hand a camera to the person i'm with like not ask not say thank you and it like frustrates me so much you know and it's like i don't know like i just think people think i'm like that so they act like you ever have a weird with somebody who's like an influencer actor actor whatever then they just hand the phone you hey let me take the photo do you take the photo they did it to me the other day outside my own building oh no it was like her night he came up and he goes oh my god i love you guys and then he goes take this and i was like oh no i was apologizing to her in the car for like 10 minutes she was like tana it's not you well i didn't care but i was like

damn like it's it's a big pet peeve of mine but i understand people get like flustered in the moment so i try not but it's funny whoever's just in arm shot i was like you take this like ah yeah it's that's why i just oh selfie i'll just like grab phone i'll always offer i'll be like do you want me to take a photo but i don't know yeah the just handing is kind of fucking crazy but i'm trying to think like if i ran into adam sandler i would probably lose all social etiquette skills yeah yeah you know who's someone you would like die to me oh great question honestly not not even to sound like fucking cock or anything but i think you have like met almost all my idols who have you met that was like your idol dave chappelle was awesome dave chappelle was like

it was like he did this arena in austin texas the same weekend i filmed my special and like we went to his show after and then his like right hand oh i'm sorry you're yawning should i fucking amp it up a little bit wait was it shut up i'm sorry i just saw you i think do this to bobby oh yeah it's fine you were on bobby all tough no bobby no bobby lee oh you guys have bobby on he'd be great uh oh my god i would die too he's like my idol he's great he would do it um but yeah it was just like you got to go to this backroom backroom security security guards and walk in he's sitting there like face his back is against the door you walk in i was like meeting this like mortal combat guy and i walk in he turns around he's hammered smoking cigarettes and he's like great people say great things about you i was like what the fuck that is so amazing i think i think i would die best thing in the world when your

idols like live up to how you feel you know have you ever met someone that you did idolize and they kind of ruined it for you i'm trying to think definitely um who was a dick to me a lot of people were kind of just like dismissive to me maybe before or like early on i think i'm trying to think somebody i met who just sucked where are you going what's happening over here i don't know everybody i've met has been like pretty chill i think well that's a good sign yeah that's a good sign i just met sean evans last week though the hot ones oh yeah he's awesome yeah i did hot ones and i but it was not it was for a gig not the youtube show we like did hot ones for a college because he tours it

yeah oh he does the same booking agent yeah i got the hot wings plug uh and i ate them and then i had a connecting flight the next day and it was painful i was not doing well really we did it like as a we like not parodied it but like no i did it we well we had all this like actual sauces and stuff i cheated she did a good job i did the whole thing i was white knuckling on the fucking connecting flight i'm just like please it's a real bubblegum surprise it's not good it's not good there's an it's dehumanizing to shit on an airplane it is and i feel like everybody knows it's the the toilets in the front of the airplane yeah and then if you walk to the back they know like what the fuck you doing in the back can i tell you guys something please should you no please let me have it let me actually phrase this as a question what are your thoughts on being barefoot on an airplane like including

using the restroom what no that is barefoot or socks or what are we doing and are you pro or anti-sock i remember one time she and i had an experience on an airplane where she took her shoes off and i i'm not kidding i it was like literally a gas filled the entire airplane you remember this i feel like you would turn the lights on and off with your toes up they make reading light i frequently like if you're in like the first class and you know how the tv's kind of far from where you're sitting you're dogging those up absolutely every time not kidding i'm really good with my feet though like when it comes to like touch like okay um that was a car and not a plane no it was an airplane it was an airplane no it was a car we're driving to the grove no that was a completely different scenario i mean regardless of where it was there was a smelly foot involved

i remember being like put your shoes i feel like i had a really weird period of time where i really like these platform converse that i really needed to let go when i was you i think you were sockless and i was like you can't just go sockless and then take your shoes off on an airplane at all and i remember we were both that's like unrecoverable i think we were flying home from hawaii or like somewhere like you were feet out for a long time and i was like put those away now i'm so sorry it's okay i'm like apologizing with the ukulele the best of us that's like just unexcusable behavior and i can't believe i did that we're gonna have to unlearn that for a tour bus like i know i'm a different person tour bus yeah we're gonna be bussed up i that's another thing you can't shit on a tour bus so like

we're gonna have to like coordinate that you like literally like gas stations yeah well if there's like x amount of people in the bus how many times do you have to stop in a day for different people to shit well a lot of the driving's like through the night so the goal is to like shit and you wake up like the days to just oh yeah and then what do you spend the whole day i really don't know there's a lot of downtime honestly the way you guys are doing it with the bus, there's going to be a lot of downtime. It's kind of like you get to the city, depending on how far the city is from the last city, like you get there in like the morning and then you just wake up in St. Louis. I'm going to need some new hobbies.

Yeah. We're starting a book club. Do you read? Oh, I know how. Okay. I don't read a lot. My mind wanders too much. I'm like looking at words.

Oh, wow. A big chest of woman earlier. Why? You were doing so bad. Your sister. Yeah. It was good. I think we should take up scrapbooking.

I don't think that's like, that's kind of a messy hobby, to be honest. And I don't think we need messy hobbies on our bus. Scissors on a bus. You hit a pothole. Stab an eye. I'm thinking like something like Holston. We could be like knitting little hats. Knitting's kind of a slay.

I want to teach you poker. That's a goal of mine on the tour bus. Yeah, lots of you know. Two wildly different activities. Honestly, I think you guys should do the podcast on the road. Every time we do our podcast on the road, we have so much fun with it. Because you can like yell about some random encounter you had in tulsa oklahoma and like that's it's fun and like your fans feel like they're there with you yeah we're gonna try to

do that i feel like but i find studios and what's hard about it is like i don't want to like we ran into this before where we would tell a story on the podcast and then it would also be a story in the live show and i don't want people at the live show to be like we literally just heard this i think it has to be vice versa like we tell it at the live show and then when we retire from the show tell it on the podcast yeah exactly yeah kind of like august river that story that was like we did that well yeah um it is fun so what's the sleeping dynamic on the bus who's getting what we've been trying to decide well it's not there's no like big yeah it's bunks but we're trying to decide i someone told me i should sleep on the bottom well after the whole foot thing we know that sir air hot air rises you're on the opposite side yeah so i'm gonna go up top

are you guys gonna get like groupie dudes do dudes pull up to the shows or they're just they're with like a their girlfriend no it's all girls it's it's literally all girls or like their boyfriends or their brothers or are gays i don't feel like anybody who i would like in romantically interest i wouldn't want them to even see what we're what we're working with here yeah yeah i've never ever like came into an encounter where i would have hooked up with like i've never had groupies really yeah i just think it's different but she'll bring a boyfriend on the road and here here and there yeah i don't know how we're going to fuck on the bus, dude. Oh, quietly. Okay. Yeah, but.

I can go with that. You guys are staying. That's more of a you issue. I think that something will happen. I think that. These bunks are small. You know that, right? It's like a. Yeah.

It's like a. Oh, yeah. You can't fuck on the, in the bunk. Duh. Yeah. You're just. Well, where are you going to fuck? What did you just almost say?

What? Wait, where are you going to fuck on the bus if not the bunk? It's like a. You got to cuddle up. You got to cuddle. Yeah. Oh, I feel like it would just be like literally like a spooning situation. Then I thought it was you were going in a way different direction.

Holla? Cost? Like I just, you were talking about like. Wait, what? Oh my God. I wondered for one second. We're talking about the holocaust she thought i was like alley hooping that word you holla i'm jewish i can say it popcorn semitism that's you that was that was kind of funny but not in that way but it was funny

not what i said oh i don't know what happened put in a blue churrat here no it's funny because like you're gonna cuddle in that bunk you're just laying there together like two 7-eleven taquitos like spooning fucking for you i was thinking like you're asleep in the bunk and we just really make use of the whole bus i don't think that's there's i'm there's more than just me there no it'd have to be like late, late at night. You're not fucking in the common area or areas. Even if I Lysol wiped it down after, you know, you wouldn't do that. What are you doing over there? Why do you need to Lysol wipe it?

I would never. I just feel like that's something she would want me to do. I don't know. We're going to have to talk logistics. We haven't really thought a lot of this out. You're not bringing a man out there. Clap it up. I'm not bringing a man on tour.

Not yet. I think you will about halfway through. That's my hunch. We haven't really thought a lot of this out. Yeah, but we're not bringing a man out there. Clap it up. I'm not bringing a man on tour. Not yet. I think you will about halfway through. That's my hunch. It's kind of fun. You bring somebody you're like dating on tour. Maybe if I get really bored, I'm going to be like, who wants to come? Seriously. Who wants to come?

What did you say? It's fun if you're dating somebody, you bring them on tour. It's like, it is lonely when you're out there. So you have somebody that's fun to get off stage. You guys have each other, but. I think it's just, it'll be good for me to have. Yeah, I think I'm just going to want to die if you have your boyfriend and like fun to like get off stage and you guys have each other but i think it's just it'll be good for me like to have yeah i think i'm just gonna want to die if you have your boyfriend and i'm just like well then i cannot like obviously i've been thinking about it so i looked at i looked into it but i feel like she would be too stressed out you what did

you type in can cats go on a tour with us yeah fully and she she was looking at her google history the other day and i was like looking at it and it was all about cats on tour buses. I think you should. But if you think about it, like it's all the like dark little like she would have a good time. Yeah. But initially she would be really probably stressed out. She's never really been anywhere. And I remember I dropped her off at someone else's house one time and it took her like four days to even come outside.

Yeah, she would definitely have some heart. And then she jumps in Tana's bunk on the wrong night and it's fucking. Oh, my God. Fuck. them outside yeah she would definitely have some heart and then she jumps in tana's bunk on the wrong night and it's fucking oh my god fuck i just think i'm overall like a more sane person when i'm receiving regular dick that's what i get that you i think that makes sense yeah i mean the i think that's what i'm saying with the stressful and being gone for a month. It will help. I agree. Nicotine. Dicotine. Dicotine's crazy. Dicotine.

I tweeted asking to see if there was any questions for Trevor Wallace during our power outage because our topics have thus far been incest. I know. I feel really bad. I hope you don't think that we just hate you because literally we just hope for the best. I swear. It's actually a love thing. I like, I'm like like he's so funny that like you know what i mean like he'll just carry with no topic you're a friend of the show that's

what it feels like we're just hanging out let's talk to you about your special yes pterodactyl on amazon oh thank you so much thank you yeah i loved it it was so good what did that feel like when you we just recently for the first time had someone even bring up an idea of something like that to us and i feel wildly underprepared and not ready for that yet in life i think we would if it if it was like an actual yeah but like i didn't feel ready for it either and then you like i'm a big like put a date on a calendar and then work towards it guy and yeah like the opportunity came up and i was finishing up my tour and i was like this would be a great way to end the tour and then that was the only thing in the back of

my mind i was just working towards that but there's so many like steps that go into it i was just in disbelief that i was like because i feel like this town is so flaky in a sense of like hey we want to give you a tv show you're like sure yeah you just never hear about it yeah so it's your first special yeah so in amazon that's surprising i feel like you would have had more because i feel like you've how long have you been doing this for like 10 years yeah see that's crazy yeah but congrats on the first special thank you yeah i know and for it to be like a big like a huge special it's cool yeah it was really cool i thought it looked really good too where'd you do it awesome right you guys are doing it the paramount oh we added a second

show today that venue's sick it's dope you'll love it how exciting we're doing um oh my god we're gonna do where you did your special we're gonna do lincoln theater where dave chappelle did his yes dave's special we're such comedians seriously it's actually so fucking fly me out to the austin show what's up let me open the show people would love that please i'm no i'm so far i don't even mean open i want you to open like 10 shows. Please. No, I'm so fucking. I don't even mean open. I want you to do 10 shows. I want to. Let me hop on the tour bus. I'll bring some earmuffs. So I don't have to hear fucking what the hell's going down that bug.

Yeah, her fucking in the common area. Or we could like compete. Oh, right. Like a sex bus. The bang bus. Yeah. Are you guys going to like put a logo on the side like canceled or like the next bus? Did you guys watch next?

Yes, I watched next. Oh my God. That would be so bad for so bad did you watch next on mtv why am i convincing that was room raiders it was the same exact time great era how did they never find like semen stains in that yeah it is kind of they did all the time are you kidding that was like a number one thing the black light yeah you're right i think i think my head was like how did they because roommate was just breaking your room but every time efron, because room raiders, they just break in your room. But every time. Yeah, you know Zac Efron was on Room Raiders. Really?

Before his fame? Really? Yeah. Wow. That is crazy. I did not know that. I would be dead. I would be mortified.

That's my biggest fear. You know, I think every single time I leave the house, like if I die right now and someone comes to my apartment and sees it in this state, I'm going to have to like die again. Is it just dirty or? It's not dirty, but it's just like like it's just not like the state of my drawers and everything like i just can't imagine someone like having to come and like go through my things i'm kind of stoked for that like i have like a

fidget spinner somebody gave me like um some um some viking in the other day i don't do drugs like that but like they just gave them to me and i was too much of a bitch to turn it down you try it say no no i didn't take it but i was like okay here you go i was like all right man but i didn't want to seem like too much of a bitch to turn it down. You try it. Say no. No, I didn't take it, but I was like, fuck it. Here you go. And I was like, all right, man,

but I didn't want to seem like too much of a bitch in front of them. So I took it and now I just put it in my nightstand. That way, if anybody ever breaks into my place, I'm like, dude, this guy's chills. Fuck.

You know what I mean? I'm just going to go through all my stuff. Like she's got melatonin and dude, Vicodin. This guy's a legend. I don't do that stuff. You know, that's good.

That's what I'm just going to put random stuff in my house. Like a ninja star shotgun somewhere. Well, gonna go back to the special for a second yeah serious question the day you're shooting your special what if you're just having like an off day do you do it multiple times same outfit yeah yeah so i did three shows one friday two saturday and then you cut between usually the best one use like 90 of it how do you do the crowd shots if you do that so there's just so many cameras and it's like if you notice some shots it'll be the front rows like slightly different so like oh this was from show three this was from a show too but so do you notice when you watch it that like as you're telling a joke it might be like two different

cuts from two different days honestly no like the editor like does such good jobs with it and the continuity of wearing the same outfit, it tricks me. I feel like that's such a guy thing, though. I could wear the same outfit and same makeup, same hair, and I would look completely different. I mean, if I did stop frame, yeah. One night, my hair was a little better than the other or whatever. But yeah, definitely. You look back at it.

But yeah, not feeling it. I don't know. I think I was just so nervous. The first show, I was so nervous for it. Because they're like, cheers? Did you just start a fucking diesel truck What the hell was that Yeah what happened

I think I'm experiencing popcorn lung Oh no I'm sorry continue Let's attend to that It's nothing new I should really stop with the vaping I wouldn't do that around most people I feel comfortable

You are a friend of the show You were so nervous Because you walk out on are a friend of the show front of the show yeah you were so nervous so nervous because you walk out on stage it's like the biggest cheer of your life because they know they're filming people like flew in for this like their cheers were so much i was like oh what can i say right now to like get a joke that's gonna match that level of energy and then i just got nervous and i started going off script i'm just saying shit i'm I'm like, I would be so nervous. So afraid. I don't think the live shows we go for you guys is,

is, I mean, it's like, it's a different energy because you're used to just talking to each other. Now you're like talking to the crowds, right? It is. And that's the only like difference, but it helps to have each.

I feel like I don't get nervous because she's there and it feels like, yeah, I agree. It is like doing it with your best friend. Definitely. Like makes it, I just always hope more like hope they're looking over there. I hope they're not.

I feel the same way. I'm like, I hope they're looking at you. But I mean, it's obviously just different because here we get to have like dead air and shit. And it's like you're chasing the laughs and you're chasing, you know, you're chasing the laughs. People yell shit out. Yeah.

And like, honestly, most of our like people who come to the shows get super, super drunk. Yeah. And that's kind of like a theme of the show. She's right here. It is fun and we encourage it. And it's a lot of like rowdy, rowdy energy. Oh, yeah. They like it.

It makes for a good show. Like I've done shows where it's not rowdy enough. And I'm like, I wish there were a little more like fired up. We did too. We had a couple of shows on like the last run where we were like, God, did they hate us? They're just like polite. What's funny is they're just a good crowd and they're just like polite and you're like i just want one guy to yell some degenerate shit or something yeah just to fart up i enjoy a little bit of the

like heckling until it gets obviously too far like i don't know we had a couple people were like oh my god get that i can think of muscle in the nicest way we love you so much i can think of one person in like ohio i. I remember where she was sitting. What city? I had a really bad city in Ohio. What city are you guys talking? We did Cincinnati, Cleveland. It was one of those.

Or it might have been. I think that's only two. I don't know where it was. I loved Cincinnati. Cincinnati was my favorite city we ever even went to, I think. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. All of the cities we went to were like really great.

That was such a PR answer. But like I haven't had like a city that i absolutely hate i do i've never had a good experience in new orleans though and that's where we start really oh wait no i started the two joy theater i saw your tour schedule and it's like a lot of the same places i did we have the same manager so it makes sense the joy theater yeah well new orleans you gotta think about it like that's not really an inner like the entertainment that town is on bourbon street like yeah the entertainment is all around you so like trying to sell a comedy show out there it sold slow for me and then it picked up but like everyone's like why would we see a show my like

cousin's funnier than like anybody and they're all hammered yeah and you can see tits with beads out there that is like the marty grove the beads were still in the tree i was jumping for him really when is marty girl i have no idea every day baby i don't know i've been roofied in new Mardi Gras of it all. The beads were still in the tree. I was jumping for them and shit. Really? When is Mardi Gras? I have no idea. Every day, baby. I don't know. I've been roofied in New Orleans twice. And I think that if you really think about that, like twice is so crazy.

One of them was on tour. And I remember you have like bus call. Like you have to show up to the bus at like midnight. And I got roofied and I had to get dragged back and I was puking on the tour bus. I got roofied by a stripper. By a stripper. Well, I was at a strip club. You know. But that's kind of strange. Kind of a strange move.

Yeah. Well, I'm hoping to not get roofied. I've never been to New Orleans. I've always wanted to go for Mardi Gras in particular because any excuse to show me tips on stuff. It is cool to see. We went there on like a Thursday. So we went there on like a Wednesday the night before walking around. for Mardi Gras in particular because any excuse to show me tips on something. It is cool to see. Our tour started on Thursday, so we went there on a Wednesday the night before, walked around.

And when it's not a busy night, it's a little interesting. You're walking around. It feels like Vegas on a Monday is not the same. It's very ghost. Ghost town. It's so cool to walk around. What I like about tours is you go to towns you wouldn't normally go to, but you end up really liking it. Yeah. It's actually cool to walk around. I mean, you'll see towns you never would. What I like about tours is you go to towns you wouldn't normally go to, but you end up

really liking it. Yeah. And you're like, oh, this is actually really cool. And you just like get to travel everywhere. Everyone's fucking yawning. All right. I think it made me, tour also made me realize how like different, like just how awful LA is really in comparison.

Well, it's fun to just go back to like normal life and realize like there are just normal people who do normal things. Yeah. It's really nice. Tour, I think. That's the majority of the world yeah yeah it's like a spaghetti factory at 1 p.m you're like i'm a this is good i like this pace everybody around here it is fun it feels like you're going home although maybe not for you because you're vegas but yeah i mean i think that being on tour weirdly afterwards like facilitated my burnout in different ways than i thought it would like i came back here and i was like everyone is so awful you come back here and it feels like a black mirror episode all

of a sudden you're like oh my god yeah yeah i mean you're also like in the heart of it yeah well you're like where yeah the valley valley sorry what no i like it i mean i love the valley i love anywhere you can have a fucking parking lot i agree with that no i want to move somewhere where there are parking lots and not parking garages like literally a parking lot i'm looking at what the fans want to know from you i'm not just uh six and a half inches i was literally about to ask hold up all right bro what would you hold next oh you said what i hold next probably a gogurt damn i want a gogurt damn do you remember cotton candy fucking gogurt candy or the twix the twix ones oh my with the rabbit on it did anyone ever win the danimal sweepstakes no oh my god we don't

talk about that enough either i never really liked i'm pretty sure we we had like cole sprout i want to ask cole sprouts about it he said he would come on the podcast. I want to have Cole Sprouse on just to like really run back the same thing that whose podcast was he on? Call on your daddy. I'm surprised he even wants to go on a podcast after that, Cole. We love you. Is that the one where he's smoking cigarettes on it? Yeah. And he was like, then what's his name?

Jack did like the parody of it. Oh, yeah. And then he started dating Lily Reinhart, which is just like a hilarious move because it's Cole's ex. Like he made fun of Cole and then started dating her ex. Which is just so funny. Damn. Good for him. I want to marry us.

Well, I guess there's only one Sprouse twin left. But just for like the childhood. Both look good looking. I know. I guess they do kind of look. I don't think they're identical. I believe so. I always thought twins are not identical.

What? Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are fraternal twins. think they're identical i always thought dylan was hotter what mary kate and ashley olsen are fraternal twins does that mean identical i thought there's three for a second what do you mean does that mean identical is there identical and fraternal fuck man and i can't go back a minute ago what is it called when you're conjoined it's called conjoined what the fuck is wrong with you guys i think i'm getting secondhand fucking vape over here secondhand fucking fraternal two eggs identical as one egg split apart oh that's actually crazy so you look exactly the same you have the same dna if you're an identical twin but fraternal twins like are literally as like equal as just brother and sister or like sister and sister so mary kate and ashley sister sister great there's no reason they should look the same oh it's actually wild same with the

herbert twins i think they're like fraternal and i can't tell them no shot the herbert twins are fraternal i might be making that up yeah you made that up conjoined is crazy though conjoined yeah how does that work oh my god i just want one of them to go on an interview and just actually just get like because the famous set of conjoined twins do you know the ones i'm talking about kind of the tiktok girls oh i've seen them yeah i've weirdly been following them since i was like 14 like attitudes on them when they were on like tlc i was like tuning in you know and you love tlc I love TLC. I was just going to say, like, I feel like TLC would see them on TikTok and be like season 19. Absolutely.

They did. They have. They were on like TLC and shit before they were on TikTok. But I just want like one pair. One of them to just sit down and answer the hard hit. Like one of them has a boyfriend. I do understand that it's it's pretty invasive. 100%. answer the hard-hitting like one of them has a boyfriend i do understand that it's it's pretty invasive 100 i just wish there was one that was down to just that i mean yeah there's probably a lot of questions because how do you imagine i get it i am very curious what if one side starts

an only fans the other doesn't want that yeah can you consent to somebody sharing your like especially like well and like seriously like those are my tits as well one of them if one has a boyfriend so well i guess it depends well one of them if one has a boyfriend so well i guess it depends where they're attached if you were a conjoined twin where would you want to be attached but so we're always doing like a race oh it's like that um oh like a sack race yeah i don't want to be back to back back to back we so sick you always look like you're fucking james bond you know yeah and no one could ever sneak up on you. And how cool would that be? Oh, you have your own security guard.

Yeah. Save you a lot of money. But then like sleeping would be weird. Side sleepers. I'm a side sleeper. Good. I'm a side sleeper too. Side.

Side sleeper. But that's like the worst way you can sleep apparently. Is it really? We really have no fucking topics. I know. God, I feel so bad. I can condense it. Get the heaters down, you know. Yeah, Oscar feel so bad. I can condense it. Get the heaters down.

You know? Yeah, Oscar made this funny. Incest, Hawaii, ukulele. We got it. Incest, Hawaii, ukulele is a crazy. It sounds like a set list you'd find at like the comedy clubs. Yeah. Sounds like some Motley Crue shit.

That's literally our lives. Yeah. Are you guys going to like trash the tour bus? Fucking party. Are you sober right now or no? I'm sober. She's sober. i'm sober she's sober i'm sober which is good because i'm still new orleans let's fucking go throw a bead in the

air well i'm at the point now where a roofie wouldn't even be a roofie it'd just be a blessing no what when you're like hot take i felt like you said that and like an audience would be like slay queen but i don't understand the context i I think that I'm, I am sober right now and I will be sober for, uh, what feels like a long time to me, probably like six months. Yeah. So if I were to get roofied, she would be excited about it. Oh, I see blessing in disguise. Yeah.

Oh, I'm hoping we're not going to trash the tour bus, but I don't think I'm not going to. And I think that's, it's good that I'm sober for things like that. Just to be really like consciously aware. No, drinking on tour makes it feel so much slower. Like it's's fun at night but like it just drags i just like i want to drink like i'm i have no reason that i would want to be sober i guess but i don't think it's sustainable like the amount of shows that we're doing and like how many nights it is it's like you can't drink every day no it's like you get excited you're like fuck yeah first tour drink

and everybody like everybody's so excited to see you guys they want to drink yeah that's the thing that makes it hard is when you get to a city you know people there you meet people there are someone on the tour know someone there and then it just can easily become this party every night and i've experienced it like that but it's being hung over for a show especially two shows now and just at my fucking prehistoric age like when i was younger i had that in me but now it's like yeah i get a hangover that lasts like five days now yeah i mean pick your cities definitely everything like chicago and new york you're like oh fun but and it's like kind of an element of the show honestly because they're excited for us to drink yeah i think you're gonna carry the team on your back you know ron white does you guys know ron white like legendary comedian like he always his thing

was drinking whiskey on stage and like the last like five years he just drinks like green tea so it's the illusion that you're drinking like you guys could fully be the problem is i'm drinking for me you know what i mean like it's like i'm also just such a wildly different person drunk that there's no oh yeah you're just taking five dasani shots in the same person i feel like i drink kind of as a crutch because i feel like it makes me funnier which is so sad but i think you're funny thank you but i would be funnier if I were drunk right now. Or I'd be like, I wouldn't be thinking as hard about what comes out of my mouth. Yeah, but that's just like a drink per show.

That's not like you're blacking out. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Maybe I'll do a drink per show. And I wish I was an a drink kind of gal. I'm good at that. You are really good at that. I hope one day just the switch flips and I can be good at that.

But until then, I'm sober. but if anyone wants to roofie me to certain cities or if it's like a cool opportunity like it'll be like fucking like scott silvall place and some guy's like yo we got you the table and you can shoot the steam gun fucking there that's fun i'm a big opportunity guy if somebody's like come to our restaurant they have nice drinks yeah sure i definitely want to get weird on the road with finding cool places to gamble and strip clubs though and i hope you join me with on some of them maybe for the story maybe for the show for some reason i don't well i just don't feel like myself in a strip club i become full lesbian i become like borderline like i'm like a man i'm like bend over bitch like you know

i don't really think that's my element but i'll join you in gambling i love a good bad road is fun because you stop like a random like gas station and you're like i'm just gonna go to the bathroom inside this like swords like random shit i love that we had so much fun on the last one just like well i like to like explore the cities yeah i'm like going everywhere oh you're gonna get all bird scootery again i'm telling you don't not gonna tell you try it's the best the quickest way to see a whole city yeah it's to just fucking lime around all day i just don't like i mean it's a safety hazard you know how they don't let like athletes snowboard i'm like god forbid i knock my teeth out and ruin the tour great story though so i just don't trust myself

when my feet aren't flat on the ground and i think that's out on that i thought you'd bird scooter with the shoes off you know what's funny is in my head i was thinking about being barefoot on like fred flinson yeah absolutely absolutely no i should never bird scoot but it is fun like go to a gas station that's in that city before that and like buy like a hat that says springfield missouri or like you buy like buckies and like texas like I love that shit because I like to wear it to the show. I like to wear something that's like- You'll lose their mind. Like if you wear a local football team, like-

I do it all the time. I wore an ASU jersey in Tempe. And I mean, I think the guy punched his dad in the face. Yeah, yeah. Like it's crazy. I don't support that though. We love to invite the- Like our lore on our last tour was inviting people.

Like it made no sense. It made no sense. But you get where I'm coming from. Like being in a city and meeting random people who don't know why we're there. Don't know what we're doing. Like the bartender and inviting them to the show and trying to get like, I think that's so fun. It is fun. Yeah.

I mean, all of it's exciting. I'm just scared. Yeah. It's all fun. And it flies by. I mean mean you're on like two shows yeah i swear i did 48 cities in like a year and i was like you did yeah and you're okay you're you just you get in this flow where you're at lax you're home for two days you're

back at lax you're home back and forth but we're not i don't think we're coming home really oh yeah we actually do have like a three-week break in between tana wants to have a going away party i think we were telling you this earlier. Please. A going away party. But she's going to go to Hawaii when she comes back. But I have to come back here. So we can't have a going away party because that's humiliating when I come back like three weeks later. But don't you think all the drama and attention of people being like you're going away would

just be so fun? I would love it in the moment. But then when you come. Have you ever done that to somebody like throwing a going away party and then you see him way too soon after that? And you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. People are just it's it'd be a fun party you just be like i'm gonna say send off to a tour send off yeah send off to me feels like like

like high school-y like or like a graduation party like kick i don't like the words kickoff and no one's like kickoff parent teacher oriented i think you just got like going away is so i think you just didn't call it anything or or the canceled what's the tour just name cross country cancel cross country kick kicking the cross all these sound corny as hell but like people just want a party people like house parties are legit fun like just have one yeah and then bring out a cake yeah we don't need like a tax write off send it to seth um i gotta go here pretty soon i gotta be at the improv trevor i don't know how we're gonna chop and screw this episode up but we're gonna and yeah it'll be great thank you for loving you so much thank you for coming thank you for being our friend of the show dealing with our power outage talking about incest And I can't remember anything other than that.

Well, he did agree to come to Austin. So I do. I fucking love Austin. I think that if you enjoyed Trevor on today's episode, you might be enjoying him at one of our live episodes. I would love to. And I would love to have you guys on stiff socks. People would love to come on. I would love to.

Sorry for all the slander. Seriously. What? Remember when I went on a whole like online rant about stiff socks right yeah it wasn't you though it was just the locker room talk of it all and now stiff socks is gonna be for the girls and the gays and the bays it already is perfect all right love you guys thank you for having me we love you so much thank you gary v tote bag that's what i brought it in v friends that's also a gift within itself gifts i'm not gonna lie thank you that's my whole mo it in v friends that's also a gift within itself gifts i'm not

gonna lie thank you that's my whole mo is gifts and next time i calling bellinger apologize i will be using my ukulele genius thank you thank you for having me i love you guys and what's up cancel fam dude fucking damn here's some shit