Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 74: ANSWERING YOUR TERRIFYING DATING QUESTIONS with Tara Yummy - Ep. 74

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

On this episode of cancelled we are joined by Tara Yummy. We talk about her relationship with her ex. Then we give you dating advice. Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/CANCELLED to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.  Use code TANA for $20 off your first SeatGeek order. Head to: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/TANA Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code CANCELLED at https://LumeDeodorant.com #lumepod Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A To listen to the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello and welcome back to the canceled podcast. Today we have on everybody's it girl. Everyone wants to be her. You're my whole fucking for you page. You are you're everywhere and I've known you forever and like you were just I love to see this and I'm so happy to have you on the pod. We've been talking about it. All right. Yummy. I'll cry right now. It girl is crazy. You are the I saw a tick tock that was like You're either Alex Earl Or Tara Yemi And I'm like f*** All I want to be is Tara Yemi

It's funny because I just I had my like I don't want to call you emo Because I don't want to miss Miss gender I wouldn't say I'm emo at all But that's okay That's what a lot of people say

And I'm like What's the like word For your type of style I don't know I always say it's like Paris Hilton and Marilyn Manson Had a baby Oh my god

That's the best thing I've ever heard You know what I mean Yes That's what I always say Like Y2K I would say it's like Paris Hilton and Marilyn Manson had a baby. Oh my God. That's the best thing I've ever heard. You know what I mean? Yes. That's what I always say. Like Y2K. I would say it's early 2000s. Just like a little bit more alternative. Yeah.

I don't know. Absolutely. I feel like I was trying to go through my like Sophia Richie phase and be all clean girl and then like seeing your stuff. That's like where my heart's at. Like I'm so 2000s grunge. Like you make me want to get an eyebrow piercing. Fucking everything.

And everybody's back into it. I feel like clean girl is out. Everyone says so. And I'm like. Everyone says so. Brooke said no slick back bun today everyone says it's out so it's out i just have no sense of personal like i can't even do me either i see one thing dude i swear to god i hung out with you and then i spent like that night in my bathroom for like an hour like smoking out my eye like cross necklaces like slutty i was like i'm in my face i saw i saw your tiktok

and you were like back in my unhinged era. Cause I want to be Tariami. And I'm like, I learned it from you. So it's like, and I caught someone commented being like, you were the OG. And I commented back. I'm like, Tana literally was the OG because like, I learned all my no offense, bad behavior. And 100%, 110%. It's, but you're like, it's funny because the other day when we were filming, we like took a break for a second and you were telling me a story about like some actual awful, crazy, like real Tana coded shit you did. Like, but I just don't post about it like you do, but people know.

Yeah, for sure. You were telling me like, so you were like, I did some Tana shit and I was like, no, you didn't. And then you told me and I was like, God damn. You were like, that's really bad. Don't actually do that. And I saw a comment that was like, if Tana says it's bad, it's bad. That's it's it was definitely up there up there reminded me of a crazy era oh sugar let's what

do we do calm down we might need to get sugar on the mic you're embarrassing me i only told you guys he's so good and now he's just embarrassing he's perfect honestly it cannot beat the dog that that straight up scammed me the other day i was so so excited. I'm not kidding. I was, I'm standing. She's like, don't pet the dog. The dog bites. And the dog chose me. Okay. Came right up to me. Got in my lap.

Licking me. She's like, oh my God. Like he loves you. Like you're good to go. Immediately. The second I tried to pet him, he bit me. I was like. Well, the thing is.

You started this. This dog that bit her. The owner of the dog is a billionaire. And I was like, Brooke, why? That's like the first code like when you get in a fucking car accident like if they're rich your neck hurts like yeah i would have been on the floor seizing like i had fucking rabies and you didn't you were like no i'm playing the long game you're too nice i feel like no really that's like what you were

just saying where it's like people just don't know oh thank you okay she would tell you if tana says it's bad it's bad well that it is funny because everyone's like brooke's so sweet and she is she's the sweetest human like morally you know what i mean but like we get along so well because we're our crazy antics right i'll do some tana shit on the side too i'm just a little less public about it and i think that's better about it though now i feel like i want to air everything out i am having like such a digital footprint crisis lately why what happened did something come up just no nothing came up honestly that's good it's just right for once but like i no i don't know just we talked about this with trevor wallace but just like some of my sex stories like the shit i've told on the

internet i'm like and just since i was so we can't take that back you really can't toothbrush i can't look at a toothbrush ever again. Every morning and every night when I wake up and go to sleep, I think of you. That's honestly beautiful. That was romantic, but it wasn't meant to be. But I tweeted the other day asking if anyone's ever masturbated with a floss pick. Like the water ones. Oh, okay.

Because. I thought she meant like. I thought she meant like one of those little. Me too. And I was like. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That that'd be crazy like stabbing your clit sorry um but like you know the water someone quit that but like the the floss pick and then everyone was tweeting me back like what's with you and like dental items and i was like yo i know you have a kink that's

kind of weird you should fuck a dentist well i love your boyfriend do you know that i like have a big fear of getting my wisdom teeth out because i think that when i come out off the drugs and my dentist is there i'm gonna be like i've always loved you and like try to fuck him honestly kind of hot we have the same dentist i think we should get him out together and make a whole thing do you go to doctor i don't but he's like a celebrity dentist right yeah my uncle's my dentist in maryland so that's cute that's probably better yeah you know not i'm scared of the dentist so i'm so scared i'm so scared of the. I really have a video on my channel called like facing my biggest fear. And it's me going to the dentist. I have a video literally with the same

title and it's me going to the dentist. I love that for us. You guys are the OG YouTubers. So don't reel me into that because I'm not. No, you are. She was telling me before you got here that you I was saying to Brooke today that like I think it's a really special feeling when I know someone and I feel like like you just have always really fucking put in work on your shit. And I think there's two different types of blowing up like someone who blows up by accident. And that's awesome, too. All right. Yeah. And whatever.

But it's such a good feeling when like like I see you right now getting all the recognition in the world. And it's like you've put in so much time to your craft and you're good as fuck at this shit and like it's just it's awesome to see and it's crazy i was telling you i like don't miss mondays yeah i post every monday i posted every monday on youtube for like four years i've never committed to anything for four years at all and like the just the editing and like, I always feel like, especially like even how I've always filmed YouTube videos when I did, it's like my iPhone propped against a water bottle and like whatever, like when I film with you, like people who really

take it seriously, like the lighting and the sound and the thumbnail and the whatever, like there's so much to learn from someone like that. And it's just you slay. You've always taught me shit. Thanks. Well, the only reason I'm like that is because of my ex-boyfriend. He's like super anal about like. I'm so happy you said it because I have so many questions. I know. I was trying to do a good segue. See?

Yeah, you kind of podcast. Yeah, you're a podcaster. Natural. He taught me everything I know. And I've talked about this before, right? Like he like has been my mentor in this for like years. And like I would never be even an inch close to where I am now if it wasn't for him. Do you really think so? I know.

So I think he's taught me everything I know. Do you really think so? I know. So I think he's taught me everything I know. Give yourself some credit. No, I do. I do. But truly, truly, truly like I'm so stubborn. I don't change. I don't evolve. And I wouldn't evolve if it wasn't for him. That's actually really beautiful. It's like we were just talking about like how good of terms you and Jake, your ex are on is so admirable and insane. Like, so, and you guys were in a very public relationship for a long time.

And yeah, like, I mean, I'm sure you can attest to this, just what that does to your psyche. Oh, it fucks you. Yeah.

It fucks you up so badly. People don't think about that. When I would watch YouTubers, I'd be like, Oh, public breakup. Ooh, and now I'm on the other

side of it I'm like how did people do this no it's a I can't even scroll my free page without seeing like a video of us from when we were 18 years old like hugging and kissing slow-mo when we broke up I was like please no one makes sad edits and now everyone's making sad edits and I'm like nothing sad and then it's like the sad edits have you thinking to yourself like the edits I don't know if this is just me I talk about this all the time where the edits like make you live that alternate reality for a second and you're like to them it's like a video to you it's like your reality yeah and you're like wait am i sad right and it's like i like won't be sad one night and i'll see like a video i'll like send it to jacob like this one had a kick to it like we send

them to each other sometimes we're like this one kind of kick be on that go to terms with an ex is like so admirable because i'm not kidding i don't think I have one ex that would be in the same room as me. So are you guys? Not one. Under like all of it. You know, I have, I think both, like I get both ways, but a relationship like that, like a long ass one. Yeah.

Almost five years. I really love someone like it's so like if he hooked up with someone else, like, could you guys still get along? Are you seeing other people? Well, yeah. I mean, if we're single, so I know.'m sure oh you're so powerful are you never mind am i okay no no i've never oh how more i don't know if i can say more it's not my business oh my god i just can't even imagine being that mentally healthy i'm not oh that it almost makes me feel

better to hear you say it's not normal to you, be so close with your ex and like watch them be single. I mean, I'm sure he could say the same about me. But you live every day and every day is a new day. And like because we're so adamant about being on good terms and being such good friends that every day you learn something new. And you're like, OK, well, I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. Will you ever get back together? I don't know. I don't think I know if I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning. Girl. No get back together? I don't know. I don't think I know

if I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning. Girl. No, I mean, like you don't know the future. I don't know. That's fair. Maybe, maybe not. Like it's just the way life goes. That is true. I love that song. That's true. I get where you're coming from. It's just, oh my God. It's, it is just like a wild, like anomaly situation. I've never seen anything like you guys. I know, that's what everyone's saying. And I'm like, wow, I haven't seen anything like it either. And I'm like, wait, that's me.

It is, but it gives me hope, honest to God. Cause I'm like. It does. Not that I don't think I could ever be on good terms, but I just am so emotional that I can't. I can't watch. I'm so emotional. Really?

Oh my God, I cry every second of the day. Oh, okay. Not because of that. I'm like, that makes me feel better. It does make me feel better. Yeah, no, I'm normal. Like I'm not fucking crazy. Like I am crazy. you're saying you're not like a sociopath like you feel towards it i feel things yeah but every like we're so we care about each other so much on such a

deeper level than just our relationship breaking up that we every day we try to be friends it's not like a this is easy yeah it's not easy that's fucking stupid to say have you enjoyed being single like what i think so i think the single life after like years of being with someone is it feels so foreign at first and it was weird yeah how old are you i'm i i'm 23 and why did i think about that i mean same thing and how long were you guys together since i was 18 oh my gosh so i was never like a single adult really yeah so that's like a whole transformation or transition what type what's like what type of guys are you like noticing that you're gravitating towards I think you know it's

funny it's like I like to think I have a type where it's like people that look like my ex-boyfriend just like more like you know bad boy vibes yeah but I've listen I'll take what I can get like if I think you're hot I think you're hot I'm the same way you literally can like look at all my guys and it's like yeah it's like um it's like a random toss like it's like someone put like a simulator thing and you went and it was like yeah it just depends whatever anyone who thinks I'm funny I was just talking about in Vegas how I would um

totally if I was single fuck Drewski and I have like the I had the biggest crush on him I don't think I know who Drewski is like Jack Harlow and Drewski I don't know who that is hold on everyone was like sounds hot I know who Drewski is. Like Jack Harlow and Drewski. I don't know who that is. Hold on. Lost on me. Everyone was like,

sounds hot. You should fuck Drewski. Okay. Wait, I thought you wanted to fuck Drewski. Well, I'm taking him. This is where we get into trouble. And then people think we compete over God. It's a whole thing.

He looks like this. Oh, I know who he is. Wait, where, what have I seen him from? He looks like this. He just does funny stuff with Jack Harlow. And everyone was like, you really don't have a type.

Oh, he's like, I saw him on Theo Vaughn's podcast. Yeah, he's a comedian. Duh. Okay, well, you should have led with that. I won't go for any comedian. Yeah. Love a comedian, seriously.

Although I'm trying to get out of the phase. Yeah. Except for the new one. There's a new one? No. Comedian? Sorry. You do have a new crush on a new comedian.

I know, and I have to stop. It's always the funny guys. And you know what? They have audacity. Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino. Check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer or enjoy over 3,000 games to choose from like Cash

Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz, make instant deposits or same-day withdrawals. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 Let me tell you. So much.

Comedian guys have so much fucking audacity because they think they rule the world and they do not. I think so. That's what it is. It's like the blind confidence. I'm like, I don't like it. The blatant narcissism.

I'm like, you're so ugly. And I wish I were unattracted to it, but unfortunately I'm not. I'm't like it. The blatant narcissism. I'm like, you're so ugly. And I wish I were unattracted to it, but unfortunately I'm not. I'm literally like, I believe you and I love you. I feel that right now. And I'm wrong every time. I have a 0% success rate so far and I'm willing, I'm just trying to break it. But at

the end of the day, I think when anyone makes you like laugh, it's just like, it's up and it's stuck. Everyone's like questioning Selena Gomez being with Benny Blanco. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me he's the funniest person she seems so happy whatever makes her happy yeah so funny and also i literally do not think he's ugly like the most all the comments are about him being ugly i saw him in person and i i saw him in person too and he's cute i think he photographs bad maybe yeah because he's cute like intentionally kind of doesn't try i think i think that's like kind of his whole thing but he has like sorry like the

lightest eyes he's like he's like a pretty guy his leg is so funny like brooke that's so you coded being three-legged no no offense to no like how his leg works but he just holds it up because he like wants people to think he's three-legged yeah because i used to like fake injuries when i was a kid oh no his injury is real yeah yeah he has patella luxation so he can't straighten it all the way, but it works. So it's like people are like, I put him either in a stroller or I walk him, right? If he's in a stroller, people are like, oh, he's so fat. Why don't you walk the dog?

But then when I walk him, they're like, oh, his leg is hurt. You're a bad dog, mom. I'm like, his leg's not hurt. It's a whole thing. That really is honestly a whole thing. And he's just scooting around. He's fine. He's just tripodding around.

He's fine. I've taken him to many doctors. They say don't do anything. It's a whole thing. And it's like, I love when dogs have little quirks. That's just tripodding around. He's fine. I've taken him to many doctors. They say don't do anything. It's a whole thing. It's like I love when dogs have little quirks. Quirks. That was, oh my God, I was going to say eight awful words and like I almost said like disability. Don't say disabilities.

Like quirks, eight. We're media trained. Eight quirks. I'm like I like her. I like when babies wear helmets. Mm-hmm. She's like I've got nothing to say about that. Welcome to the Canceled Podcast.

This is so fun. Do you know what kind of like the TikTok, like now every TikTok you post. I have no idea what happened. Have you always been posting content like this and people just kind of like caught on? People are taking clips from like me and Jake's videos and like one liners. I say they love them. I'm like, that's just who I am. This is what I'm saying.

I don't like try and make audios. But I swear to God, you could blow a damn kiss to the camera and it's getting 10 million views right now which I don't get it because like why wasn't it getting 10 million views four years ago has anything changed no have you noticed so nothing's changed so this is something I'm gonna again say exactly what Jake said my ex-boyfriend he said he's like you've always this is so sweet he's like you've been a star, but like not enough people saw it. So sweet. So kind.

I know. Now I'm, why do we have to say shit? As my ex, don't say nice shit. Well, he said, he's always said that. Yeah. Okay. You guys have a really different dynamic to where like, I just go to be kind. When it comes to work, he's very, you know, honest and kind.

But, and I, I get it because it's like, I haven't done anything different. So I think just more eyes are on me. I guess I mean, like, has anything changed in like people, the way people have treated you or like like people reaching out like your DMs? Yeah. Tell me things. The amount of verified checks in my DMs now. And I'm like, I'm not even verified on anything.

Are you getting like hot guys? I need to know everything. Just girls. I feel like it's probably more fun, though, because like when like someone likelex earl blows up it's so new that there's not a lot of content and you have like so much right that's what everyone's saying they're like they're like the good thing is is you've had four years of content that people could look back on and people can catch up and then they're like so in love so committed so much good non-embarrassing content too i okay so recently i know so speaking of being single recently, I noticed and I realized

out of a relationship, all my content is public. And by that, I mean, my crush could go and look at the most embarrassing video of me on the internet recently. I had a crush on this guy and he FaceTimed me and pointed at me and laughed while watching my joke song. I made this joke song when I was 18 called curfew about how like my mom still gave me a curfew at 18 years old and he all did it we all did it right played it on blast pointed at me and laughed as a joke and i'm like oh my god everyone sees my stuff it's not just girlies like it's guys i have crushes on yeah that is that's the thing is it's when you get that wrong audience that's what scares me about tiktok because like you can post for your own audience and it's one thing but tiktok it just goes it just goes viral yeah and then people have all these opinions yeah and then you get like so scary in the comments

and you're like i have to die yeah i posted a video taking a plan b for like the girlies and uh and it somehow got to like the wrong super republican tiktok and i was just getting death threats but i also got a brand deal from it i also, I also did a plan B brand deal. There's actually can look into that. Yeah, that is so crazy. There's like a website that you can like order it from. That's good. No free plugs. I really don't want to take any plan B this year, though.

That is like your goal. It's a big resolution. That's going to be hard. I know I took one like January 1st this morning. Like literally. Actually, I take it as my multivitamin every morning. I'm not going to lie, but I'm trying to. I've only taken one this year and i want to end the year saying that i'm not a scientist correct me if i'm wrong but isn't it true if you take enough they don't they stop

working like i've only taken like probably two in my life and it make it ruins my body literally for the next five months after that like my periods will be so horrible and stuff that i'm like this is not worth it i think i'd rather just have a whole kid and raise him to 18. Oh, my God. We have a friend who like she takes Plan B and it makes her go into like psychosis. Oh, what? Oh, she takes it and it like really mentally affects her. I even know that. Yeah, because it's it's like taking it's equivalent to taking like five or six birth control pills at once. And it's hormones. So it's like pumping your body full of hormones. I was about a dead ass look. You'd be like, there's got to be an easier way. And then I remembered condoms. For sure. There's a lot of birth

control like in general is just abstinence maybe. That's not an option. But I used to do that in college all the time if I couldn't like I literally didn't have $50 to buy plan B. So I would take five birth controls at once. And it's it is not recommended, but it does

the job. Wow wow don't do that do not ever take medical advice from the cancel podcast you know one time brooke on this podcast said that she uses a magic eraser to get self-tanner off and i gave lauren gray chemical burns on her neck like she was like i use a magic eraser to take myself down of all people to do it and then lauren gray did it and then she got chemical burns. And see, that's what I'm scared of is like all these eyes on me. I'm like, I'm not a perfect person at all. It is like, it is so scary. Read the fine print.

Right. Yeah, it's just like I always try to say just do as I say not as I do. Like I'm just actively living my mistakes. Like and it's, it is scary for sure. So, you know, but I think you've got this down pat. You're gonna pat you're gonna you're gonna slay you are my god to be single for the first time would be like so fun to be single wow i mean

again be so lit honestly her situation is that but like again it's all girls it's so far you're not too far but still like i'm saying let's say in a different world you and jake it was a revenge type of breakup that would be so you know what i mean if he was a bad guy like let's say in a different world you and jake it was a revenge type of breakup that would be so you know what i mean if he was a bad guy like let's say he did something bad to you and you guys broke up like right now i would be like oh yeah like i'm blowing up but so is he he's doing so good yeah you guys all like it's i love it i see everything everywhere and it is like fucking amazing god that's so healthy i love that every day every day is a battle. Okay. That helps. Honestly, I don't, I don't want you to suffer by the way.

No, and I'm not suffering. I just got back from his house and his parents are in town from Kansas. So I got to see them. What do they have to say about you guys being broken up? I don't know. Nothing. They're just the sweetest people in the world. I still talk to his mom all the time.

Same. Yeah. I get it. We've never done an advice segment before, but we've always talked about it. It's so funny. Are we equipped to give advice? Yes. Based on what I've heard so far, I think that you're the only one here qualified to give

advice. I don't know if I am. I'm friends with my, do you know how many people think I'm a red fucking flag? Because also in my relationship, I was like the least jealous person. I don't give a fuck. I'm like the biggest flirt. I'm like the least equipped person to say any of this. But all of this kind of contrast, all of this circles to like security, though, like all

of those like you're just secure. You were secure. You were with someone who was secure. I'm going to get so much hate. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you are. I'm ready for the hate.

You're not going to get hate. Honestly, cancel this for the girlies just like us for real. But it's so funny how you phrased it. You were like, we've never done an advice segment. I'm like, we're running out of of topics we're like trying to stack episodes before we always asked us to do it and we just haven't but like i will my problem is like i'm just again the magic eraser and we are not equipped to give i almost think it's camp though disclaimer to give like like like this is what we would do yeah at this point if you know me and you think

that my like my advice is going to be tana Cote, you know what I mean? Someone fucked her with a toothbrush. Whoa. But like they did. No one fucked me with a toothbrush. And I've never seen the video. That hurts me. I'm so sorry.

Wow. I had a whole Spotify show called Tana's Toxic Tips and people would call in and I would give them my toxic advice, you know, so I think. So take this with a grain of salt. Yeah, this is canceled advice. And we just started an email called the canceled hotline at gmail.com if you guys um want to reach out and ask for any advice we would love it please don't reach out and tell me that you need me to venmo you or anything like that is that happening it's happening to me too the i don't know when it started but all of a sudden i'm getting 50 000 venmo requests me too i get a million is it like

a trend i don't know i I got banned from Venmo. Do people think I'm rich? Because I'm not. Same. And I'm like, I feel bad because it'll be like something so horrible. It'll be like,

need groceries and stuff. And it's like, I don't want them to get a notification that's like Brooke declined. Yeah. So I'm like, God, I just have to. Yeah, I'll cash out people now and again

when the notification shows up on my phone. Sometimes I do if I need a good boost of karma. But I don't have that much money. That's really fair. Someone reached out to me on Venmo for like an entire year asking for money and I never gave them money. So they went in and like hacker like mode may like embezzled money from someone on Venmo as me.

And now I'm banned from Venmo. So I guess I should have just sent them the fucking money. That is crazy. I one time I blocked. That scares me. I blocked my ex and the only thing I didn't block him on was Venmo and he Venmo Venmo. If you have never talked to a man on a payment service, you don't know what trenches are like. You definitely haven't. Nope. Never. I'm friends with all my exes. Fuck. I don't burn any bridges. I'm friends with people I've been friends with since

kindergarten. I love that. I just sometimes the bridge just burns its damn self in my life. Like the gasoline's there. There's a couple. There's very few people in my life that I've stopped talking to. Very few. Honest to God. That's, couple. There's very few people in my life that I've stopped talking to. That's a lot to do. Honest to God, that's I guess true for me too. I guess I just think about like my major relationship

being just bad and that's really it. That's normal. I'm not normal and I've come to terms with it. I've had my toxic eras. I have a lot of people who don't want to talk to me

and to be honest with you, like I understand why. I would still want to talk to you. That was cute. That was really kind. I just want to say last night I was in bed and I was reading these

and like, how do I say this without sounding like a fucking people got some shit. Okay. Like some people are going through some shit out there. That makes me so sad.

Yeah, I don't. Sometimes it's their fault. You'll see. Okay. I want to start with the craziest one. Should we start? Okay. There might be some crazier ones, but I read this last night.

I had to reread it two times. I read it to Makoa. I couldn't. I can't stop. I could recite it completely, but I'm just going to read this to you. Okay. Okay. I would love to get some advice for one of my good friends, Rachel.

She grew up in a chaotic household. Her mom does hard drugs. Okay. She didn't need to include all this, by the way. She read her friend to feel flow. That's lore, if you will. So she ends up moving States at 17 to be with a guy named Greg, who was 18 that she met online. They fought, he cheated, but it was her only like person. They were together for four years. And once she turned 20 years old, he got violent and she kicked him out and she began online dating again. So far, Rachel's kind of, you know, she's winning.

She kicked him out. She's saying whatever. Rachel met a new guy, Cam, and they instantly hit it off within a short time. They were mixing friend groups and hanging out within three weeks. They were dating. Not even two months later, Cam was moved in with her. That's some real shit right there. You know, sounds like a red flag.

Yep. Yeah. Well, you know, kind of. They were really good, but her ex, Greg, kept hitting her up. shit right there. You know, sounds like a red flag. Yep. Yeah. Well, you know, kind of. They were really good. But her ex, Greg, kept hitting her up after a few months. She caved and met up with Greg. That's where she went wrong for sure. Eventually, their car hangouts turned into car fucks and she would pick up Greg regularly during her shifts while going home to cam every night. She managed to keep

this up without them ever finding out about each other cam she called me six months later telling me she was pregnant cam is black and Greg is not she told me she's super white I don't really know what that has to do with anything

I asked what she was going to do and she said she would break the news eventually. This is some old me ass shit. Slowly, this lie snowballed, and Rachel ended up telling both guys that the baby is theirs. I knew a girl who did this growing up. Her name was...

And then one of the guys died. That's horrible. Both families think that the baby is theirs. Cam and Greg's mothers are both buying baby gifts, not knowing that Rachel has no idea who the father is. I keep telling her she's going to give birth and both sides of the family are going to want to come and she doesn't acknowledge it.

She relies on Cam for rent. Greg's super crazy. She's my girl regardless of her position and I'll always be on her side in her corner. She asked me for advice and I don't know what to tell her. Oh, wow. A lot to unpack. That's like an episode of Maury. That's exactly. I was just about to say that.

Like, who's the father? They should just go on Maury. Yeah. Well, they're going to know who the father is. Right. That's what I was going to say is like, I think her including their races really is going to be. You know, if she had two guys that looked alike, like we wouldn't even have to cross this bridge. Yeah.

But that gets a lot of people in trouble, too. Here's my thing. You, I think, can do a DNA test now in utero. So like she I mean, that's too late to give her that kind of advice. Wait, pause. I always thought in utero was like when people say like in retrograde. I'm not kidding. I was just going to say like that sounds like a weird ninth planet. I don't even know if I use that properly. But I think you did and i think i'm wrong while you're pregnant i think like you have to be certain like ways along no way but i believe but but the person usually i think has to be like aware of it you can't just like it's not like a lock of hair it's like a swab and like a serious situation dude i always i also again i'm i don't

know have you ever been with a guy and he was going to leave you and it was toxic and you told him you were pregnant or no? Just me? No, no, no. I've done that a few times, obviously. And I remember back in the day, like guys were like, I want a DNA test then. And me being like, well, you're going to have to wait nine months. Wait, so wait, how did the, what did you say when you didn't have a kid? Right.

I would just, I would just egg it on. This happened to my mom my mom one of my sisters like the dad did not or her dad didn't believe my sister was his so he just like was like handle it yourself and then my mom got in a car accident when my sister was a baby and he was a fire he was a fire chief so his unit like went to the scene of the accident and they were like that is your baby and he was was like, OK, fine. And then he took her. What?

You just dropped crazy lore. Yeah. See, that's the proper use of lore. Fuck. I do not. I'm going to have to ask. I can't stop overusing lore. Funny thing, by the way, about canceled podcast listeners is do you want to know what the subject line of this email was?

What? Double daddy lore. That's hilarious. Like just like. Hilarious. Dumbing, brain rotting, all of that down to just double daddy lore. That's hilarious. Dumbing, brain rotting, all of that down to just double daddy lore. If I did have to write one of our listeners, it would so be

this, by the way, this coded. What's real advice? We're praying that it's cams. Yeah. Right. Obviously. Didn't you say that they want to remain anonymous? Yeah, we use names. I'm assuming they're not real names because she said I want to remain anonymous from like I don't know. Yeah please keep my name anonymous. I'm assuming she used fake names. But then Greg's crazy so if it

is Cam's then like oh that's just so scary and it's like how do you she obviously has to handle the situation before she gives birth because what's she gonna do have two families there? I mean that's something I would do just wait and just leave it up to like you're giving birth that's already such a stressful situation families like cover stuff like this up all the time uh-huh they'll have to say like they adopted a kid or something I had this friend in high school it was a bad time for me it was like my molly era and all my friends were like little cracky my molly era is crazy my brain looks like swiss cheese um and it was like all my friends were little like molly crackies and we were like all we all had glitter on our faces and fucking played with little rave gloves and like whatever and then i have this friend we can call her like stacy she stacy gets pregnant she's hooking up

with two guys one's her ex one's not she's hooking up with them she tells both families that the baby's theirs and then she had a baby shower and imagine me and that's the exact story we just guys. One's her ex. One's not. She's hooking up with them. She tells both families that the baby is theirs. And then she had a baby shower. And imagine me in the exact story we just heard. I know. I didn't even like think about it until right now. I got her a baby shower gift. I did not need to be at anyone's baby shower at the time. Molly and she. Yeah, it was. It was. And both families showed up. and then one guy died. What? And it was, it ended up being his baby, but then the other guy just stepped in and raised

it because he died before the birth. What really matters is the dad who steps up. Right. And it's not going to be who's, which one's not Cam? Greg. It's not going to be Greg. So wait, what is she going to do? We haven't given advice.

I don't think I'm in awe. I know. I feel bad. I'm like, yeah, yeah, it sucks. Honestly. I think she's fucked. I think you got to tell him. You know what I mean? Yeah. have. I know. I feel bad. I'm like, yeah, yeah, it sucks. Honestly. I think she's fucked. I think you got to tell him. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Right? Like tell him. But also it's not that easy because Greg is dangerous. I would say tell Cam, get a test. If it's Cam's, run from Greg. You don't want to tell both of them. I feel like you only want to tell the one who it isn't.

Yeah. Oh, that's the advice. That's the advice. Try to get the DNA test. Honestly, girl, if you got to take a lock of hair in your sleep, like do what you got to do. Get the DNA protection program. Get out of there. Get the DNA test. Tell the one it isn't and

keep it pushing. And we hope for your sake it's Cam. Yeah, that's not good advice, but that's the best I got. I cannot imagine being in that position at all. Because what if you, you know, what if you told the one whose kid it is and then you just like you didn't even have to tell him. Well, you do have to tell him. Honestly, he's the father of your kid.

You tell them both. Yeah, you could just run away and start over and like find a guy who wants like a barefoot pregnant damsel in distress too. There's people like that. Yeah, for sure. Like men who just want babies. Yeah, and like a woman to save. I don't know. I feel like there's some freaks

out there on like Bumble. This one is from Charlotte. Hi, babes. I'm in a relationship right save. I don't know. I feel like there's some freaks out there on like Bumble. This one is from Charlotte. Hi, babes. I'm in a relationship right now and I feel like he's probably going to be my end game. The only thing is my biggest goal in life is to try literally everything sexual at least once. I'm talking Tana esque bucket list.

Wow. I don't want to break up with him just to do this stuff, but I don't want to get married before I get to experience an orgy or a sex party of it all. What do I do? Love you guys. That's a good that's like I get that. I do get that. I get that because like I was in a long term relationship from when I was a kid, basically. Yeah. Into adulthood. And you want to try things. You want to be single i say maybe like talk to the guy be like yeah you can wear him down yeah it'd be like are you down to do this and even if he says no you could wear him down we're not supposed to project anyone into anything

i i'm kidding yeah but like i guess can you separate for a second don't people do that i would say just talk to him first and see if he's down to do that yeah if he loves you maybe he'll try it he probably wants to try some shit too yeah yeah that's what kind of guy doesn't have an orange a lot where we both that is true there is a lot of guys who don't they're like you're the one for me i don't particularly want to have an orgy but i do i think i would be afraid had i not tried more things like yeah i've done enough at this point that if I were to be with somebody forever I'd be like okay maybe there's a compromise maybe it's not an orgy maybe it's a threesome where you both choose the person or something like yeah maybe you could tell him

like his favorite snacks will be there like try to get him in other ways you know oh my god like we have private there's a charcuterie board you got me with the charcuterie board I would do that ramen and I will literally have as many orgies as you need. I'm not kidding. Okay, this one. When I say we've all been there, by the way, for the next 80 things, I mean, we've been there and just do your best to kind of get there. Okay.

Got it. You know, I'm very private about my love life, actually. That's true. That's true. So it's like, you don't know. That's true. I wish I could go back in time. To what?

To do that. Well, I try to be private about my love life. And then my co like my co-hosts, Zach and Jared, mostly Zach. All they do on the podcast is air out my business. And my exact favorite thing to do is where was Tara last night? Oh, that's like yawning. He's in love with you, though. No, he's not. Yes. Actually, he irked me to tell you that he wants you on the podcast because he worked TanaCon. I do know this actually. And he did not get paid. So he said he doesn't care.

And he just wants you to come on the podcast really bad. He's saying I can't believe he didn't get paid. Like I would have paid him. That's a make good. You owe him. I need to come on the podcast. He just loves you. I mean, I'll be there. I love him.

Honestly, he's like a catch. Okay. He got you a necklace. We're friends. Let her explore her being single. I just want her to explore him one time. That's what everyone says. Everyone just wants us together. Everyone just wants us. Everyone. We're friends. Let her explore her being single. I just want her to explore him one time. That's what everyone says. Everyone just wants us together.

All my friends. Down to my cousins are texting me. They're like, you and Zach are low-key. Because I think the hate flirting is so hot and fun. It's not even flirting. It's just I hate him. That's what they all say. Look at that smile.

Just kidding. Sugar? You said Zach's name. He got. There's a dog. Oh, good fucking God. No, you're fine. look at that smile sugar you said Zach's name he got there's a dog let him calm down he's just riled up it's okay he literally looks like Frank Gallagher

stop he does oh my god so does Daisy that's why I feel like he looks like Daisy what is that kind of dog our friend Lila has Lila's dog looks like mine and I've never told lila that i think daisy looks like sugar but i always think that daisy looks 100 but daisy was supposed to be a golden doodle okay she's half chihuahua because sugar's half chihuahua she's a zero percent golden doodle

i'll tell you yeah 100 craigslist dog%. And of course she paid thousands of dollars for her. The subject line of this one is, boyfriend doesn't let me outside. Okay, I don't even have to read that to know. To tell him to kick rocks. I just turned 18. Essentially, she started to go to the clubs. She started to party.

He doesn't drink. She thought that that could be a slay because he could be like the DD, like that whole situation. He doesn't drink. She thought that that could be a slay because he could be like the D.D. like that whole situation. He's not into it. So now she said, I'm pretty much not ever allowed to go out ever. And I had a kind of a similar boyfriend at 18, though, like telling you what to do. Yeah.

Just like the allowed of it all. I'm not allowed to wear this. I'm not allowed to do that. Yeah, I was like I and I feel like it's a lot of people. I feel people i feel like yeah if i girl all i know to say is don't get knocked up by this man because you're gonna end up breaking up with him like it's just like it's almost inevitable like you you feel controlled for so long and yeah i feel like it's a canon event honest to god like well i hope not not everybody should be in a relationship like that but my i had one like that where it was like i tell my friends like sorry i'm not allowed or like he

won't let me and it's like yeah i feel like 90 of girls go through that and then the other 10 are their friends like me where i'm like since i watched it happen i will never ever let a man tell me what to do ever boundaries is one thing but that's not a boundary yeah that's telling someone don't do something and that would drive me crazy I will never ever be in a relationship ever or friendship where someone tells me what to do you're not my mom you're not my dad you're not my probation officer

and it's like literally that's dating someone where they feel like your probation officer I ended up um I always talk about this like and I regret it in a way but I wildly cheated on this man and it's like it's because he not that I'm like trying to like make your actions okay yeah but it's because he pushed you to do that because he was so controlling it was controlling over everything and it was like you already think

I'm doing this so like as well yeah and I just I don't like yeah I don't know it's hard harder than it like sounds though because it's always like okay well don't be with somebody who does that but like I feel like in my situation it was literally like because I love you so much and because I don't want people looking at you or seeing you or doing like I want you to myself and I want to spend more time with you and it's like that's not all of a sudden you're like oh my god that's like a gaslight love bomb situation yeah it's emotionally abusive but you don't know when you're in the moment you're like oh my god this man loves me I would go to say unless this man is so amazing stay with him but if someone's controlling you they're not amazing and that's just gonna manifest in every way for the rest of your life like you don't want

to do that go be young go party go have fun and it never goes away it only gets worse they will all of a sudden they'll be telling you like what to wear what to think what to say how it would make me actually crazy if someone i think i have authority problems though like if someone tells me what to do i get really angry and i'm like do not tell me what to fucking do 100 i'm the same way i've always been that way i feel like especially if a man tells me what to do I get really angry and I'm like do not tell me what to fucking do 100% I'm the same way I've always been that way I feel like especially if a man tells me what to do I will literally go bonkers and yell at them and I know that's not the right thing to do I'm just really quick to anger and have a hot head but it's like I don't know are you kidding I used to like literally threaten to set the house on fire I'm not kidding I used to get in trouble if I would turn my phone over like this on the kitchen table what that's so crazy who was this

man dare you not pay attention? Who was this man? Yeah, and he was cheating on me the whole time, seriously. Well, that's projecting. Well, of course. So if someone's like, if someone's treating you like that and wondering why you go out

and stuff like that, they're probably projecting their own stuff that they do. That's 100. In my experience, that's always it because whatever they're insecure about is always because,

like they have a reason to think you would be doing that. Like the amount of times I got accused of cheating in a relationship where I would have never thought about it, but because he was cheating on me the whole time. Yeah. That's crazy. It is just wild. And I think at 18 and 18 controlling man is such a Canon event,

but you will be out of that soon. And you're going to meet someone who you can have fun with. And hopefully he'll grow out of it too. Like have drink well okay wait don't have a drink it's also like i hate to say this and this is my toxic advice but like if you left that man he'll he'll be there go party he'll be there if you really want him back like dude like if that's why you're leaving him i don't you know but you don't. Honestly. It's crazy to me that he would get mad at you to don't jinx it. Right. I cannot believe sugar is being such a menace today.

And it's really, really embarrassing. I think that having a little chihuahua adds to your aesthetic completely. Yeah. And it's especially when that looks like that. Like it's not a perfect looking chihuahua. That's not really giving me a chihuahua to be honest. He's half chihuahua. He's half Pekin.

He's half chihuahua. I want a doggy. a chihuahua to be honest. He's half chihuahua. He's half Pekin. He's half chihuahua. I want a doggy. Look at him in the corner of that. What's his little frame? His underbite sends me to the moon. I think this one is an everyone's opinion thing. And I'm curious to hear it. Hey, girls, do you think watching porn in a relationship was wrong?

I was recently with my boyfriend. He was driving her somewhere. She went on his phone. She saw Pornhub open on Safari. She made him drop her off. Yeah. Was she being too overprotective or was she right i personally i don't know if i would really get that upset if like someone my like my significant other were watching porn yeah but it's like how much and how often and it does she look nothing like me because then all of a sudden i'm really insecure like i just wanted to look like me.

Yeah. Like, well, what if it's like someone with like the biggest ass you've ever seen? I literally like. Yeah. If it's like they have a type of girl, too, that they're constantly watching. That's nothing like you. I can see how that breeds insecurity. I have a problem with like being obsessed with one girl. I hate when it's like an OnlyFans girl.

Like if like he's obsessed with one porn star, one girl or one. That feels like a parasocial relationship. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Like Pornhub doesn't bother me. That's the thing, because I think of it more as like the act and not the people. Yeah. Like the act is turning you on, not the specific person.

Yeah, it's like you scroll and you click. You're not looking for someone. If you're looking for someone, why? Yeah. One hundred percent agreed. I also like sometimes it's like I don't want to like let that do like do the work. Do your thing. Do your thing.

I'm lazy. Yeah. Go watch that gangbang. I'll be fucking eating a crap off my chest. But I know to each his their own. And that is a boundaries thing. And if you don't feel comfortable with it, then express that. And then that shit kind of can become a bigger fight because it's like, you know what I mean? Where it's like, this is my boundary.

And this makes me feel some type of way. And you're still going to do it. I think people who have that boundary usually end up together. So it's fine. Yeah. But it's like I never heard of that being a problem because usually usually people who have that boundary end up together. You know what I mean?

Where it's like, oh, porn is cheating. I love this advice segment, though. It's like kind of fun. OK, this one's crazy. I met my fiance on a Reddit daddy little girl slash bdsm subreddit reddit in general is crazy do you guys ever look yourself don't whatever you do do not look yourself up on reddit i actually don't think this person wants advice i think they're just telling us addiction it's your addiction to everybody knows it's like my like number one downfall it's like already a

thing to look up your own reddit yeah we have like a couple subreddits for cancelled and they're thank god but it's okay i'm working on it i'm working through it i actually have some new worst vices so that's true this brooke this actually wasn't an advice segment it was just her saying like i met this guy on reddit and now we're getting married so not all people on reddit are bad and you should keep going on reddit really is that what that was about literally the fact that i said like don't look yourself up on Reddit is crazy. I felt like a bunch of deep fakes of me. I'm like I wish. I'm like make one of me and never mind. Dude I have. You took that

back so quickly. Well I was thinking like but then I was like that's inappropriate. All my deep fake corn is from like my toothbrush era. Like I need like some. You knew. Yeah I need the editor. Someone get on it. AI is so advanced these days. It really is. Honestly. Hi, guys. My love life is whack. Here's what's going down.

I've been sleeping on and off with this man that I met on a dating app in November. This sex is the best sex I've ever had. And they meet up to fuck, but they talk for hours. They spend the whole day together. It's low key, very romantic, yada, yada. But then she leaves and they don't talk for weeks until he hits me up to come to hers she's tired of being single and the constant situation ship or failed talking stages she wants to date someone this dude only obviously only wants sex my question is can i still ethically fuck around with a dude who doesn't want anything

when that's what i want from someone i'm involved with? Or should I be honest with my feelings, even if it most likely means he won't feel the same and then I have no one doting over me? This is a situation I know all too well. OK. And my advice to you is so long as you are not emotionally involved, which you are emotionally involved, I feel like you have to cut it off if you're like if you have any type of feelings at all, because otherwise you end up in it for like years and years and years and they're never ever going to want anything different. If it's been that long and all they want is to have sex with you, they're not going to change. How long has it been since November? So that's not so long. Wait, I think November of 2022. Oh, yeah. I was paraphrasing

of him. He's gone. He's never going to date you. And I hate to say that, but somebody will. Somebody better will. It's going to be better sex. That breaks my heart. That's I mean, my only like hot take of advice is like, tell him like, you know, he doesn't know. Do you want to be exclusive or not? What's the two?

I say try and be honest, open line of communication and then cut it off if he doesn't. But you have to be willing to cut it off if he doesn't, because if you keep going after the fact, then I think dream scenario here fuck him for as long as you can because it's so good but maybe be going on like a weekly date as well yeah that's another thing that's what someone told me recently is maybe date around also because if that's what they're going to be doing if you're not exclusive they're sleeping with other people so you need to be doing it too to protect yourself it's for safety purposes only yeah and you just have to find someone who's equally as good in bed because then you will just be I've been there you know where I was like had

a hookup buddy and it was so amazing and then I found a boyfriend and it was like he's such an amazing boyfriend but like the sex was so bad so I was like fantasizing about like the you know what I mean I couldn't this sounds bad I don't think I could have a boyfriend that I don't have good intimate relations with. I agree with that now. I think that before I was at a point where I was just like I would settle for one or the other. Like you know what I mean? I don't think I could do it.

Because the guys who fuck are usually like they're just whores. Yeah there's a reason he's so good at that. Because he's done it so many times. For sure. Oh man man i don't know i just always the silence was deafening for like a second i just we all know a guy like that we're just in love with them but they're just so ran through and yeah it's sad i don't know i've i've been in that exact situation like probably a dozen times and i always end up sad in the end but kind kind of what you're saying, it's like, who are you really punishing if you cut it

off without having someone new? You know what I mean? Because then all of a sudden you're not having sex and he probably still is. Yeah. And it's just like, I mean, yeah, if he goes weeks without talking to her. Yeah. He's busy. How?

Oh, my God. If someone weeks without talking to me, they'd be blocked. For me, it's like there's no such thing as talking stage. You're like you're obsessed with me or we're not talking. One hundred percent. said oh Bran Flakes He says a situation ship is A situation to one person and nothing to the other That's yeah that's actually crazy

We our guy friend was saying something To me though recently that just will Never I can never unhear What he said what did he say Wait wait I'm scared he was explaining I'm scared Dana hold on he was explaining The mentality of like what I would say is 80 percent of straight men in today's day and age, in my opinion. OK, like that guys want to fuck other girls because it's like you love a

cheeseburger, but you don't want to have a cheeseburger every day. Sometimes you want a slice of pizza. Pizza sounds so good right now, it doesn't always and it's like stop like that it's nothing to do with you like they still love having cheeseburgers but they just want pizza sometimes no and it absolutely not it fucked me up so bad i get that which is scary because i could i could think back to a couple people that i was hooking up with and be like i really like them but like I want to talk about other people still that is me I still don't like them yeah but I feel like I'm a lot like a guy in that way where I don't I don't connect

like that with a lot of guys yeah so I'm just like I could see their point of view am I a bitch to say that if you feel that way though that person just isn't they're just not enough for you don't say that to me right now like it's it's not that they're not enough for someone. Don't say that to me right now. I just had a really bad

situation with that. I actually feel really bad about this. I need to like maybe I can get some advice from you guys but there's nothing I need to do actually but it was before McCoy and I were dating I had someone that I met on a dating app and we were casually seeing each other but Was it Raya? No I'm banned from Raya

and Venmo. Everything else. It was Hinge. Okay. And I was seeing him and there just like wasn't, I didn't feel a spark, but I felt like he felt the spark. You know what I mean?

I've been through that. And it's just, it's hard. There was nothing wrong with him. I just felt like he was really boring and like vanilla for me. Okay. And I told him I wasn't like ready for a relationship and I genuinely thought that at the time and I

went to Hawaii and I he like I was talking to him about going to Hawaii and I was like oh my God you should come. But then I met McCullough so then I just obviously went. Wait this was recent. It was like the guy before my boyfriend yeah. Oh my God. And then he probably sees you in this like public relationship now and he's probably like fuck like she was ready. It was just me. He was ready

right afterward. Yeah. That's happened to me. i've been on the opposite end of that a million times but you have to just know by now that's like just something you learn as you grow up is there's no such thing as not ready for a relationship in my opinion because the second that you want to date somebody you will i think you just don't want to date that person if you're not ready for a relationship and if you're really not ready for a relationship, you're being so single and transparent as fuck to people. You know, so scary. Yeah, you know, this is so I single life for me. I I don't understand it.

And I haven't gotten like uncharted territory. Yeah, I haven't gotten to like understand it. I'm like, OK, well, either you like me or like what? Like I just like to me, it's not something

that I'm used to quite yet. It's been like eight months and I still just can't wrap my head around any of it. It took me 27 years, sister, and I have no idea what the fuck is going on. I also think today's generation is just fucked. I was talking about this with McCoy yesterday for like hours. But like even think about where like technology and the level of access to people was out when you started dating Jake versus now.

He sees himself now. Tinder man faked his death to get out of a date. Lore. I mean, did they put lore in the subject line? That's the wrong use of lore. I think it is. Most often it is.

Honestly, it's yeah. I think I've infected the viewers because I use it wrong. 24. She taught them the improper. Yeah. Okay. So just like the first thing is like Tana's lore is that did she get infected the viewers because i use it wrong 24 she taught them the improper yeah okay so just like the first thing is like tana's lore is that did she get fucked by a toothbrush question mark

that that's your lore we don't know right it's lore like why can't my lord just be like it's like all the thing that yeah all the things about you that are like unknown or like mysterious and like but like for this like tinder man faked his death to get out of a date. Lore. Like that's. But like that's her. Why would that even be in a sentence? Yeah. And you put it in parentheses. Lore.

Yeah. Yeah. So just know every time I'm saying it, it's in parentheses. Right. Honestly, though, that is hilarious. Tell me the story. My name is Gavin. I'm 22.

So about two years ago, I matched with this guy on Tinder. He was hot, gorgeous, even very hot for being from the Pittsburgh area. Added him on Snapchat and we talked on there for about a month. We then talked about going on a date soon since he was going to be coming to the city. No plan set in stone, but wanted to hang for sure. Flash forward a few days and bam, he hasn't answered me. Surprise, surprise. Can't trust gay men.

Can't trust gay men. Can't trust gay men. trust gay men men this is written so well by the way i'm just stupid but i check instagram his profile picture was blacked out all of his posts were deleted and i was like oh did he block me no the next day i'm greeted with a link on his story for an obituary post first of all what did he post that himself? There was a funeral page for him with comments from his family about how heartbroken they were. I really grieved this man. I didn't really know him, but I was very distraught by him dying, you know, like who am I to not be sad? Anyways, I'm processing this man's death. And after about a year, his Instagram was back up again. And I thought maybe he was hacked. Nope. He faked his

own death. He also got people to send money to him to the fake obituary site. I learned this, that he scammed people for money and he tried to become a model in LA. No explanation from him, by the way. His Bitmoji on Snapchat did not move for months. I really thought he was dead. The site had comments from his mom. He committed hard as fuck. Yeah, the Bitmoji was still. I cried on the floor of my college dorm. Guessests were never going on that date. I have a giant hunch that that was for a greater reason. It wasn't for the date. It was definitely for

the great, there was a bigger issue. But that's the most girlhood shit. Like if I, if a guy fakes his death, I'm making it about me every single time. 100% obviously it was all about that singular one date. Absolutely.

I just feel like there had to have been so many things he could have done before that. That's some Tinder swindler shit right there. To fake your own death for a bit. And that's why dating apps scare me. Because it's like, you don't know these people. Stranger danger is real. And because we're on the internet, I feel like we don't fathom that. I was talking about this yesterday.

Like, we keep getting massages from the Soothe app. And it's this app. I've been wanting to use it, but I'm scared I'm going to get like. It's great. But I would start with a couple's massage, even a friend. Because then there's two and like no one's going to. But I really, I was just thinking to myself. I was like, all the time I have a stranger come over to my house.

I get naked. To massage you. I lay down on a table and I trust them not to just cut me up. Cut you up? Yeah. That's the first thing your mind goes to? Like a charcuterie board. Well, it's not.

The first thing my mind goes to is the deep tissue I'm about to get. But like, it's like, dude, we trust these people. No, I know. I've been actually wondering about that app. Because of the internet. Like, we trust people to bring us our food. We get in strangers' cars for rides. Like, dating apps are scary.

Wait, we get into strangers' cars every day dating apps are scary we get into strangers cars every day that's an uber yeah and it's just like you don't you don't think anything of it because of today's day and age i had a hinge date damn near tried to kill me like just creepy stalker i'll never fucking get over it it was so weird and it just like and it's like even when you date these people from hinge like you don't know them at all like literally i'll never date someone unless i like know them through someone ever yeah but sometimes that's even bad like i don't know i feel like the internet's so scary but it's also so amazing because you can find out anything you weren't researching hard enough in my opinion because i would have found out immediately that that man was not dead oh this oh you're still on

that story yeah yeah aren't you supposed to be, we got to give some damn advice, honestly. There is no advice for that. That's how I personally found out that my ex's family was still alive. I found their Facebook and I literally went through every single post to find out. That's some salt burn shit. Oh, yeah. It was. Yeah, I feel like that's what happened.

That is some salt burn shit. I went on his mom's Facebook and I literally went to every single one of her friends to see every single post that they had posted between now and 2019 when she or 2020 when she was supposed to have died and saw if she had liked any of the posts so in my opinion when i think of brooke and think of people who like do that like you like go deep into people's lives and like especially if i like a guy and if i like go deep into his like who he follows and stuff like that ignorance is bliss in that situation i can't do that to myself or else i will drive myself crazy to the point where i won't i won't return to the internet so i can't do that to myself or else I will drive myself crazy to the point where I won't, I won't return to the internet.

I agree. So I can't do that. I mean, in this situation, I wish I could. I had to know the answer. You had to know because you were dating the guy.

But just in general, I did used to be the girl who would like, you know, I'm on a second date with a guy and in my head, I like want to ask about his aunt's birthday party today

because I was stalking and I think it's so. Yeah, I do get myself in some trouble do you ever like bring up something you're not supposed to know about? Yeah you're like how was your trip to Costa Rica? And he's like I've never told you about Costa Rica That was in 2009

It is so true I've tried to stop doing that Wait I have a question This is kind of off topic is that fine? Yeah. That girl that you're talking about on your TikTok that you like go and like she's from your college and she has no idea who you are probably or like and you like look into her

because you're like, oh, would she wear that? I have someone like that too. Do you? It's not rare. I feel like it's like a universal. I got a lot of comments that like validated my experience. Did you see what she's talking about? I talked about how like,

because I'm shopping for tour outfits right now. We have to have like 40 outfits when we leave that's crazy and i was like thinking about it when i'm shopping because every single time her name is amber the girl who i'm talking about and she like we don't i don't even know her that well but like i just loved her in college and i like loved how she dressed so every time i buy anything i'm like would amber wear this and if she wouldn't wear it you're not gonna get it i won buy it. And she's probably really creeped out by it, but I can't help it. To be honest, I go through phases where I do that with strange people. Right now, all of the people I do that with have like a style kind of like yours.

Like I've been in that era. You know, you could just text me and say, would you wear this? And I'll tell you. That's so true. You're my friend doing it because I also like you can call me and be like, can you shop for me? And I'll do it. I got tested the other day. You guys. Where do you get tested? At Same Day Health in West Hollywood because it's like super easy.

People start showing up. They're trying to meet you. I'm like, I honestly go a lot. I go a lot just like for peace of mind. And I'm literally like I'm not even sleeping with like literally anyone. But I went and got tested and I go there all the time. I go like once every couple months. Go meet Brooke there. And usually it takes, it's called same day health. So it takes like between like 24 and like 48 hours to get your results back. It's a good name.

I didn't get, yeah, I know. We're right on the nose. I didn't get my results back for like two weeks. Oh, you're freaking out. So I'm freaking the fuck out. Two week health. I call and I'm like, hello. Because I was having some worries because I was worried about someone who I had slept with, you know, moving around.

I call them and they're like, um, like it's the girl at the front. And she's like, I'm going to need you to talk to the doctor. I go, you're fucking lying. I'm freaking out. And I go, why can't you just tell me? I literally, I always get my results over email. Like there's, I, it's, I always go here and she's like, no, we don't give out results over email. Like you have to have a zoom with the doctor. And she goes, you have to make an appointment for a zoom with the doctor. I'm freaking out. She goes, okay,

she's available in an hour. So I sit there, I sit on my couch for an hour. I text pretty much everyone. I know that I have chlamydia and gonorrhea and probably I'm going to die. And oh, God, that's awful. I get on and she's like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't have your chart filled out all the way. I'm like, bitch, I thought I had chlamydia. The bitch at the front desk could have told you. I know she couldn't have. She actually couldn't have.

But like, why? I don't know. Some kind of like a hip or something, but hip or something real. But I'm like, well, first first of all don't let me take the test if you don't have my chart filled out it's not my fault so did you have chlamydia i did not have chlamydia did you have anything else nothing good clean as a whistle if you were a youtuber you've had it once have you had it no god willing dude i don't know that's kind of crazy that's a really strong theory for you to be the only one who doesn't apply.

No, but this could be your error. You're right. You were in a relationship. But you're going to get it. And you know what? There's no shame in it. That's why you get tested. No, I don't think so either.

That's why you get tested. And it happens and it's normal. It's like a common cold. And the shame is in not testing. I agree. I don't think there's shame in having an STD. There's shame in not getting tested and not treating it. Yeah. And having unprotected

sex while you know you have it. 100%. Which is happening often. It is like a cold and flu for your puss. Yeah, it feels like a cold and flu for your puss. When someone's like, oh, I got chlamydia, I'm not thinking like, oh my god, they got, like, I'm not looking down on them for having chlamydia or anything. Even

things that don't go away, like herpes, most people have herpes. Did you know that? Yeah, like one in three people is going to have their, well like herpes most people have herpes yeah do you know that yeah like one in three people is gonna have their or well one in three people has herpes yeah and by the time we're 30 and pretty sure like everyone has herpes yeah i've noticed that in the last like five years even the way people i feel like used to talk about herpes like five years ago versus now it's so much more like normalized which is honestly sad because people are still really scared of it the more you know about about it, the less scary it is. Like, I just, I know a lot about it because of school. But like, I don't know.

She's like, I'm educated, actually. Well, no, it's like really, like, I just feel like it's not that serious. It's not that big of a deal. But I'm also scared of it. So it's like, what am I talking about? Yeah. It's okay to be scared, but no reason to shame people. I had a little condom era at the end of last year,

and I was really proud of myself. A condom era? What do you mean you don't use condoms? No, I was using condoms. You shouldn't call that an era. No, I know. So because you don't use cond really proud of myself. A condom era? What do you mean you don't use condoms? No, I was using condoms. No, I know. So because you don't use condoms, you call it a condom era? Well, don't use is just a huge you know, I've gone in and out. It's like a

toxic relationship. Okay. You want to hear something funny? What? You know my I Heart Tara Yemi merch? This is a new me plugging it. You should plug it. Slay. I Heart Tara Yemi merch. I made myself little condoms that say I Heart Tara Yemi on it. I'm not going to sell them obviously because it's like. I think you absolutely should but or at least hand them out to friends and family.

I do hand them out to my friends but it's like I made them like custom. I have little I heart tariami condoms. I did that at TanaCon. Did you really? TanaCon. Tana condoms. We should release. Tana condoms is everything. That's. That was. Canceled condoms would be amazing though. Like canceled pregnancy. I think it's good

because it's like you're promoting safe sex. So it's like there's nothing wrong with that, right? Yeah, I also just like. Because I was concerned. I'm like, do I do that? Like, do I? I had kind of a newfound love for them. Like, it kind of makes the guy last longer.

They're way thinner now. They've gotten, like, really ingenuitive with them. They've gotten good in the last few years. Yeah, not kidding. Like, shit's kind of lit. It's just a little weird after when it's like a goldfish in a bag. You remember the drake story oh my god wait hello we have to talk about drake we did you see it see the video who hasn't it's

like those things outside of the car dealerships like it's so heavy do you think it's him oh for sure and i want to believe it's him like someone could tell me right now it's not him and i'm gonna still want to believe like yeah can i just say i feel like it's like i can't believe it's not been leaked sooner because i would have leaked that immediately not kidding i like first of all i thought it was tiny because of the way he kicks his little feet when he runs to be honest uh that gave me like it's small but he's well good for him i just feel bad because do you think he's like upset that it got leaked like i don't want to be talking about someone's wiener if they don't want me talking about it. No.

Didn't he say like, you're welcome or something? He said like, I wasn't hiding my meat from the world. I was hiding. And he said long dick in a song. Was that fake or was that real? I actually don't know. I just like to believe things and make things up. That's one thing about me is I will believe whatever is the most exciting.

I always get on my mom for like believing things on the internet. I'm like, mom, that's a TikTok. Like, Timu's not real. Like, don't get anything from TikTok shop. And then you should see mine. She's a conspiracy theorist. I bought to stop buying shit from TikTok shop. I don't get it.

And I started crying about it the other night. I made a TikTok about it. I start crying. I'm like, I was drunk. I was like, what's TikTok shop? I don't know. Every single thing for the most part that I bought from TikTok shop has showed up. And it's like giving complete scam.

I have a 100% success rate. Honest to God, every single thing I've bought is ramen. Well, I saw that, Brooke. I saw that. And one of my biggest fears in the world is food poisoning because I almost died from it one time. What? Two times. I almost died from food poisoning. One time I almost died. The other time I was being dramatic. I almost died. Well, my mom said I was like black and blue because I lost so much liquid. I was literally pooping and shitting and throwing up. It is more serious than that.

And it was from sushi. And I don't give a fuck. It was from the Yamato and Encino. Don't go there. Don't go there. And I. Is that a small business? We have to make sure.

No, Yamato is a chain. OK, good. Yamato is a chain. Yamato is a chain. More than two locations. They can get this. Yeah. And they fucked me up so badly to the point where now I don't go anywhere. That's like under an A rating. Yamato's a chain Yamato's a chain more than two locations they can get this yeah for sure

and they it fucked me up so badly to the point where now I don't go anywhere that's like under an A rating it's really bad because I don't want to seem bougie or seem like stuck up

but I'm literally I'm traumatized yeah I believe that sushi I only eat like certain sushi I only eat like where I know it's okay where I ask when they get their fish

like I'm crazy and it's gotten to the point where this is so bad. And I feel like this might be like a problem. I should talk to my therapist about. I'm not even kidding. I make someone else have a bite of my food every time I eat it because I'm like, okay. I used to think everyone was being traumatic when they got food poisoning.

No. The first time I got it, I was like, Lord, help me. There's something so dehumanizing about something coming out of all of your holes. I shit my bathrobe. I shit my wall. I will. You shit your wall. Yeah. And I said it in my comedy show.

I did stand up. You did stand up? I went on a tour. Oh my god, you did? Oh my god. Oh, and Nick Colars was helping you, right? Yeah. I love him. I just thought about him today, actually. Really? Because I needed help writing something and like he's the best to bounce ideas off of. He's such a funny guy. Yeah, he's really fun to work with.

Yeah, I got food poisoning a week before my show and I scrapped everything that I was talking about. And you were like, I shit my wall. And I said, I shit my wall because here's what happened. I was like bending over to throw up in like my trash can and as I was bending over. Uh-huh. And I.

Did you spit it on my wall? Like a fire hose. And it was like a Picasso painting. It was like. That was me on my bathrobe. Was it like a white wall too? No. That's good.

But I have like a handheld bidet. It's not like a toilet bidet. It's like a handheld one. So I just hosed it off. Shit. This is what I'm thinking about is like my crush could see this and be like wow Tara Yemi shit her wall. Dude I've always. But I did and I said it and I did.

I think shitting is kind of like it's like sneezing. I talk about it way too freely. Me too. Farting all of it and then I regret it on the internet. I posted it on my story today. I don't know if you saw but it was like an anti-diarrhea pill and Orbit gum. And I'm like, my day's ready. Girl dinner. See, I think there's something so powerful about the fact that we've embarrassed ourselves

to a point where nobody else could do it for us, really. That's true. That's so good. That was kind. Like, what is anybody ever going to come out with that's like, I'm going to be humiliated by? You're right. Yeah, I shit at the motel del Coronado.

But I do have a question about the ramen. Oh. So, because what?, I shit at the hotel. But I do have a question about the ramen. Oh. So, because. What? I will answer every single question. First of all, I've eaten a pack of diced since I started. Can you make me one? I would love nothing more.

I'm not kidding. I call my friends every day. I'm like, please come over. I have to make it for somebody else. Is it spicy? It's so funny. It's spicy. There's no meat in it, is there?

No. No meat. Okay. I only use half the packet of the spice because I'm like kind of a baby. You add heavy cream and cheese. And that you don't buy tiktok shop so wait can you please i'm i'm hungry now it is sounds so good you had it good i'm not kidding i had to sweep all of los angeles because it wasn't coming quickly enough on sweep i had to take i had to go buy it out everywhere i love how serious you are with everything you do i really admire that well i think you're like i just sweep

los angeles to get a pack of ramen. I did and I made a TikTok about this and everyone says it's autism. Which is fine, but I am so obsessed with it. Was it Trisha with Jake? Yeah, my ex-boyfriend's autistic. Oh yeah, I think that's what it was. Or someone commented and was like, being this hyper fixated on a food is like kind of an autistic. Yeah.

But I couldn't, I can't help myself. I tried bulldak noodles. You eat the carbonara flavor. They're not all the same. I know, I tried the spicy flavor. Oh wow, you're very passionate. And I can't help myself. I tried bulldog noodles. You eat the carbonara flavor. I know. I tried the spicy flavor. You're very passionate. And I almost shit the wall. They're not all the same.

I love your nails. I've been staring at them this whole time. Your nails are cute. They're so cute. I literally, it was, they're really thick. Everything.

It was probably wrong. Whatever that happened with you was probably wrong. If you didn't like it, it was wrong. Yeah. I don't want to like shit on, no pun, what you're passionate about. If you think about it about it because the i mean the cream and the cheese you buy yourself that's not and i'm not judging you i don't think it's unsafe but because i'm so fucked up in the head over food poisoning that's all i'd be thinking about even

though it's dehydrated i'm sure it's fine actually yeah yeah i think the bulldog noodles you're safe but stay away from some encino sushi for sure. Someone told me, someone's like, don't eat it straight out of the pot because it's like there's chemicals. I'm like, I'm literally eating bulldog ramen. It's probably radioactive. Don't microwave foil. I don't give a fuck if I catch that cancer back. First of all.

Microwaving foil sets your house on fire, Tana. That's immediately combustible. One time when I was a kid, I did and I got beat to smithereens for this shit. Wait, I microwaved foil and it lit on fire, but I still do it. What? One time. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to cut your story off.

No, I'm ready. First of all, one time I put, two times actually, I put Kraft macaroni and cheese, or Easy Mac in the microwave with no water. Huge mess. What? One time, I put a Hot pocket in the microwave for a minute a minute and 40 seconds i went upstairs i'm having a little chat i had put it in for 14 minutes i came downstairs it was petrified it was a petrified hockey puck i have a photo of it i'm

gonna send it to you to insert it broke the whole plate in half and it was literally just a big black ball until i was like 17 I could not grasp microwave times. Like I would microwave a slice of pizza for like six minutes and then it would be black. That's really funny. And I just didn't learn. Like I don't, I just didn't learn. Have you ever put an egg in the microwave? No, but I heard it's explosive.

It explodes. My dad used to not take me to school because he had work and my mom would take me every morning. And one morning when I was like seven years old, my god forbid he had to make me breakfast he had to make me breakfast and he put an egg in the microwave and it exploded and we just sat there we're like mom's gonna kill us like how did he he was a grown man in his 30s when i was like seven years old not now to not put an egg in the microwave i swear to god i'm gonna prank someone i'm gonna ask someone to microwave me an egg and it's gonna be yeah like the orange peel theory like will you microwave

this egg like don't you think in theory it should work it no well yeah a hard-boiled egg no you can air fry eggs no you can air fry bacon too i didn't even know that bacon yeah but you can air fry bacon but you can microwave bacon yes you can microwave bacon you put it in like a little towel like a little we get paid for this we do like are you ever podcasting and you're just like what the fuck am i actually saying right now yeah it just as you go on so basically i've come to the conclusion since i all i do is talk on youtube too is like we get paid yeah i know and then professionally people would be like you don't understand how hard we work i'm like dude i just want to come out here right now and say i am so motherfucking sick

of opening my tiktok app and seeing a fucking bitch with a blowout and lip filler talk about how hard it is to be an influencer i just sorry keep going you know it makes me furious it's like yes there's but everything is relative yes there's hard parts of your job but you are making so much fucking money use that money to work out whatever the fuck is hard like how the fuck go get therapy i like when they post the list and they're like oh so much to do today and then you zoom in and it's like get a blowout go to pilates so you're like i think i always and i might get fucking roasted for this i think there's a difference between an influencer and like a youtuber or someone who has a podcast.

I think there's a big difference in that. I agree completely when it's just a bit easier, but like an influence. I hate being called an influencer because I'm like, what the fuck am I influencing? All I do is like I try to make people laugh. That's my that's my job. There's definitely levels to this shit. And I'm not saying that like being an influencer is like hard. It's not.

Yeah. Being a YouTuber is not hard either. It has its problems. Like, do I want to get hate every day? No, but I put it on the Internet. And hard. It's not. Yeah. Being a YouTuber is not hard either. It has its problems. Like, uh, do I want to get hate every day? No, but I put it on the internet. And again,

it's relative. It's relative. Like the money and the joy from all the good sides of it. It's relative. And there's so many ways to protect yourself. Yeah. But I think there's a difference between an influencer and a, like a YouTuber or like a,

I don't know. Is it just me? There is. There's like girls who are like, her whole job is just like being like dressing up or like, and like Michaela came online and she's like you don't know how hard it is being an influencer I'm like I don't care if you filmed 70 makeup tutorials that day and edited them all and it was hard work that's not harder than being a surgeon yeah at all who's making so much less than you and contributing far more to society I'm just I get thinking it's thinking

it's hard if you want to think it's hard, but shut the fuck up about it. We have to all learn. At least be in touch enough to know that go tell your friend. I complain about things to my friends. I'm not going to sit there online and be like, my job's hard. It's not hard. It has its hard spots.

And it comes so down to the same thing of like, you're being cyber bullied, close your computer. I'm sorry. Like, it's hard being an influencer. Lock your phone. Go for a walk. same thing of like you're being cyber bullied close your computer i'm i believe i'm sorry like it's hard being an influencer i feel like your phone i feel like if you're saying that then like close your phone sorry you know i just there's levels of cyber bullying and everything i will say i take it to heart like crazy i'm like oh my god i hate this no it's hard but i mean like if tana's saying like just close your computer then like i think you've been bullied pretty hard that's true but i know i'm like a tougher cookie than a lot of people and i can i can like understand that maybe i was like you know more cut out for the mental like I think you've been bullied pretty hard. That's true. But I know I'm like a tougher cookie than a lot of people. You're so good at it. I can

understand that maybe I was like you know more cut out for the mental. I think I'm cut out for it too. To a certain degree. I'm sensitive like you but I'm I think I can do it. Well I'm learning. I'm unlearning but I've always been like so dependent on validation that like Yeah me too. I get that.

And if someone says something that like pulls a heart string it hurts me but like if someone calls me like a pick me I know I'm not a pick me so it doesn't bug me. That's my favorite thing. I've been seeing Tarja needs to pick me. I get that. And if someone says something that like pulls a heartstring, it hurts me. But like if someone calls me like a pick me, I know I'm not a pick me. So it doesn't bug me. That's my favorite thing. I've been seeing Tarium is a pick me. I'm like, OK, dude, I know I'm not. So it's fine. I don't care.

Being called a pick me is just not the end of the fucking world at all. I know. Pick me. Like people do surgery. Pick me talk is out. Surgery in. Well, I mean, we gave some advice. Tarium, I'm so fucking

proud of you and everything that you're doing and the girlies really wanted you on so I'm just happy to have you here you know what's fun I wasn't trying to be funny on this podcast I was just listening and enjoying your guys talk we love you usually I'm like so on and I'm trying to like make crack jokes and like today wasn't about that

I'm so tired the people also just the favorite i'm not entertaining you were so entertaining and i think people enjoy feeling like they are just on this couch with us talking so much more than an interview or someone trying super hard and you gave that energy and we fucking love you and i think sugar loves you too yeah by the way i've been itching my butt on camera and i just realized i'm like i get so bad i'll be picking like a veggie i'll be taking a veggie on the council I'd be picking my nose on camera and I'm like my crush sees that you know I just want a crush we should normalize picking noses it's gotta get it out I know what I mean

I mean I would ask you about your crush I know you're not gonna delve anything on camera but I mean you can try let's see go ahead um well I was gonna first and last name have you gotten any tattoos recently we love you