Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 83: TANA’S FACETIME WITH GYPSY ROSE BLANCHARD - Ep. 83

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Starting point is 00:01:04 Okay, Harmony. Good work. harmony yeah we kind of hate that up it was giving pitch perfect i know page we're so excited to have you back the people loved you they want to replace me it's so funny how it just goes like in and out like a cycle it's like yeah whatever just someone's always on the torch you know what i know that's why i told tan i'm like come on relapse already i'm just kidding because that's the only time they like me is when she's off her rocker that's not true i don't believe that i'm just joking i was nervous like i almost told tana to scrap the episode because i didn't think it was going to be like entertaining or

Starting point is 00:01:40 interesting i have a really bad eye for that because sometimes i'll be like this is going to be received so badly and people love it and then the opposite or like i'll be like oh my god people are gonna love this and they're like this is the worst episode ever i know both of you will like we'll be sitting on a banger episode and you guys are like no no no that's not the one i'm like what do you mean but it was a really good one i thought it was gonna be like decent feedback just whatever i was not expecting like overwhelming positivity i was like i know everyone so nice everyone's like page should model page is so funny please but like one hate comment and like i would have my therapist would be getting new veneers yeah that's so fair it's so fair i need to get back into therapy i think i am so happy that both of you are sitting across from

Starting point is 00:02:19 me right now because i need you to just carry this episode on your back. Uh-oh, I don't know about that. Dude, we just got back from tour. Yay! And it's so crazy because we obviously have our four California shows left, you know, but we were all saying this. It feels like that last show in Chicago to me felt like we were done. It does because everything else is just like a friendly neighborhood show. Right, that's what I'm saying.

Starting point is 00:02:48 And it was like our last time actually being on the bus and i feel like that was just kind of the end to that chapter yeah did you guys feel like this one felt shorter i didn't even think it felt shorter i felt like we were gone for so long this one felt like six months i know it was almost like coming home in between made it harder to go back out not that it's like a horrible thing to be out there but it feels it just felt like so much happened in such a short amount of time that it felt like I was gone for a year literally it's such a time vortex though touring like it's I think I was saying to Paige that there is something about going out with no foreseeable end date like if you when you go out and you're like oh I'm never coming home essentially yes you're more like yeah you really get comfortable yeah it's like I live here this is my life yeah yeah and but I think we just were counting down not like

Starting point is 00:03:28 that I'm making it sound like I wanted to be home so bad I didn't at all but I was just no but you can see like this five days back yeah this you know what I mean senioritis yeah the same concept it literally was it felt like school before the summer break like every day I was like three days left two days left and it just felt like the longest time ever within the second I get home every time I'm like oh man well I know I feel the same way I'm bored fuck you know what I mean we have to go to Cabo in five hours I know you got that sucks for y'all I Paige can I like I literally in the three years that I have known Paige I have never seen you so livid sorry Ty about going on a trip ever and okay it sounds like the world's biggest champagne problem because it really is and like I don't want to sound

Starting point is 00:04:11 ungrateful or like anything because it's like well you have to go to Cabo like okay you're safe here but I'm just such a homebody and like there is nothing that I value more than my alone time and Tana knows like just talked about this yes I'm like the biggest recluse in the world and it's like my social battery once it drains I'm like I'm out for the count you need to put your phone back on the charger that's like what alone time is is like literally charging yourself like you know how Whitney Cummings was like I have my energy dollars and like once they're gone like that's it my energy dollars have been gone since like five days ago yeah i'm in debt but i swear to god like page said the word combo like angrily maybe 400 times yesterday was that yesterday we were flying home yeah we only got back yesterday how was your guys's flight i felt like we were flying from

Starting point is 00:04:59 singapore like oh my god and i was like walking the aisle like a dad. Like, you know how like your bones start hurting? Like I kept having to get up and stretch like a 50 year old man. I can't believe this is 25. Like my bones hurt so bad. Really? So, you have no idea.

Starting point is 00:05:18 At least they flew you first class for whatever reason. I love they flew, I flew me first class. I know, but they, you know, they book us all just on their own and then send us the flights or at least in my experience i got a middle seat on an economy flight i'm like damn no one even wanted to ask me like i could have bought it yeah no i was like hand selecting i had to be maximum comfort it was yeah it was so long and then we got home at like 11 p.m got my hair done until 2 woke up this morning and went and

Starting point is 00:05:45 shot a commercial with Bella Thorne I have a busy week tomorrow wait I'm jealous can you tell me about your day this morning it was just so like not on my bingo card at all essentially Bella texted me like a couple months ago and you know I always do this she's like hey I'm shooting this commercial for Amphar and I've been saying I kind of want to like do more charity stuff more mainstream stuff raise awareness for some shit fucking do something right you know what I mean and like I was like Amphar that's perfect and that's an honor to even be asked to be in an Amphar commercial and so I said yes like four months ago and then of course it falls on the day after tour I don't even remember what

Starting point is 00:06:24 REM sleep feels like anymore i like what's a spindle i just obviously couldn't bail and i went today and it was actually like really iconic and like i'm i kept thinking like god i'd be so happy to be here if i like got an hour of sleep yeah but like it still was like really sick i still can't act for shit you already know when it comes out because you'll be like they're premiering it i think i don't know how to yeah in can cans can at the infar gala like in france and is it can right can it's so funny though because i was just like today as i was acting i was like this should not be at anybody's can like i just you know me you know i can't act it's funny because i think you can i think you just can't when you're like too aware of it

Starting point is 00:07:04 it was good to act when like you don't want people to know you're acting that's fair that's great actress right like get me in bed and I'm putting on a fucking 10 out of 10 performance me I if I need to lie to a straight man let's go but the second I'm like reading lines I'm like I've seen it happen in real time too her line will be like hi I'm Tana she's like hi I completely get it though because it's like i really do i get how that happens i just suck at doing anything that's forced and to me i don't think i can like leave my own brain and like you know what i mean it's just like whatever but it was funny because you were supposed to do it and then um obviously we're just tired tour whatever

Starting point is 00:07:41 we get back so amari went with me today he didn didn't know he was going to do it. And they just handed him a script that literally said Brooke. And he just read all of your lines. Wait, did I have lines? Yeah. I didn't know it was like that. I thought I was a background character. I was like, I could probably skip this. I'm not skipping.

Starting point is 00:07:56 I had a lot of shit to do today. Absolutely. No, I mean, I think it was good that Amari went. I'm fucking stupid. Yeah, right. It felt like we took a little time machine to 2019 today. Yeah, that is cool. Just kicking it with Bella and all her friends. Also, I don't know Bella. I'm fucking stupid. Yeah, right. It felt like we took a little time machine to like 2019. Yeah, that is cool. Kicking it with like Bella and all her friends.

Starting point is 00:08:07 Also, I don't know Bella. I'm like kind of scared of her. She was really slay today. I feel like she just, she was, I'm really proud of her. Not scared of her, but like intimidated by her because I like, you know. Me too. You know, I was a shake it up girl. Me too.

Starting point is 00:08:19 She says John by say how high. She scares me forever, but in the best way. Yeah, she really killed it. I remember like we went to a party one time and bella was there and you were like about to introduce me and you took me aside you're like okay i'm just gonna give you a warning there's a 50 50 like chance here for sure yeah you were like it's gonna go one of two ways either she's gonna love you and be so nice or she's going to be the rudest person on the planet and i was so nervous i was like meeting her shaking i was like hi i'm page she was so nice i was probably a little mad at her at the time i don't think she's the rudest person

Starting point is 00:08:49 but there were so many people there that were bella's friends that like when she did like hated me like when she made that song about me stupid fucking bitch like there were so many people that were like in that music video and i remember at the time i like i cussed everyone out you know what i mean and then today i'm just being all nice to people that like my last interaction with them was like fuck you oh shit that's kind of funny I felt like I dealt with that after like the not to bring it back to Mindy but when the Mindy thing happened I like remembered every single person who like like blocked me like whatever it was and I came back I was like I loved her and then hated all these bitches so fair honestly so fucking fair i remember it speaking of alexis oakley wait just kidding

Starting point is 00:09:34 alexis well if you're gonna if you're gonna use that as a transition and then i can't bleep it okay we've all grown now we've all we're all good now she knows she straight up unfollowed me so quick and i will never forget it now earned her she earned her points back when gypsy rose blanchard made a facetime call into our camp okay twice she did it two times all day pages like i have a surprise for you i say all day it was like twice all day Paige is like I have a surprise for you and I'm like thinking it's literally a Crunchwrap Supreme and she hates surprises she was like so that's really crazy that you knew about it all day because then you lied to me about it okay no no no no I was just gonna you could actually go back on the footage after I said

Starting point is 00:10:19 all day the first time I literally said I say all day like it wasn't like one hour I just said that you can roll back the footage one hour is still premeditated she told me she had no clue I had no that it was gonna be gypsy on the phone I had no clue I was sitting in the green room I was sitting in the green room they went to do their meet and greet Michael Scott no I do it like fleabag you ever seen fleabag no you guys were doing your meet and greet I'm in the green room I get a call from Alexis Oakley I didn't even put two and two together that that was gypsy day so i answer and it's literally gypsy on the phone i was like oh there's no way i was freaking out when alexis was like where's tana where's tana and i was like she's doing the meet and greet right now like whatever and she was like she was like have her call me back when she's done do you ever leave your own body like

Starting point is 00:11:07 did you do you leave your own body and you're like there's no way i'm in milwaukee right now and gypsy rose blanchard is on the phone asking it's so funny because like me three months ago i would have but the lexa pro i like didn't even care i was just like okay cool cool like i was just chatting it up with gypsy rose like that's casual she was so nice i feel like everyone's asking like what did you guys talk about but it was i literally just kept calling her a hot ass bitch and she looked so beautiful i love you she really does like the alexis oakley beat the blonde hair the nose job we're about to be twins slay honestly like that is the tana smack pack right there i mean we want to have her on canceled so bad i fear we're gonna have to go to wherever she is due to uh parole yeah um been there

Starting point is 00:11:51 i'm like bon stop listening to her her parole but um i'm so ready to have her on canceled and i absolutely love her it was such a like it's so funny because i'm i'm about to say it felt like such a rock star moment. Like Gypsy Rose Blanchard calls me and then I walk out on stage. But it's like you're walking out on stage in Milwaukee with cheese on your head. And it's Gypsy Rose Blanchard, not like Justin Bieber. I mean. But I felt so cool.

Starting point is 00:12:17 Don't sell yourself short, sister. That was a really large. Yeah. And honestly, even just our screenshot, like a lot of people seem to care. And that makes me happy because I really you guys know how i feel about jip jip i've said it a million times but like i just i fucking love that bitch and there's something about like gypsy rose blanchard or like big neck ed where it's like i'd be more forward to see that okay i don't know if she would like that comparison i'm comparing them too but it's like for me like that is more i get starstruck

Starting point is 00:12:46 more over like that than like kim kardashian 100 i definitely agree i was like when i met bill nye oh my god you met bill nye i did that science guy one time i saw him at life is beautiful like i was at life is beautiful i swear to god in las vegas who did that and bill nye was there i don't know i was on a lot of money he's kind of hot he is mm-hmm bill nye the science guy is hot yeah yeah you could still get it for sure he is i have to look it up hold on last episode i don't know well yeah of course you watched it we're like sobbing our eyes out and then she blurred her feet it's like how unserious i know i know they were just so bad it was like bottom of the foot like real nasty nasty scary it's so funny too because people like she's so smart she's blurring it for her OF and I'm like no and I was just blurring it for the greater good of the viewer like they were just really

Starting point is 00:13:37 really scary it always sends me because she uses like the isle of paradise like the spray bottle and when she sprays like it'll land on the floor and she steps in it you have to lay a towel down for that reason I've made that mistake before it's a really easy one to make but don't you feel like it's wet on the ground I do lay a towel down now but I don't think I have the system on lock but listen I'm happy with where I'm at tanning wise it's been worse you could even hit them with a little swipe of water after what about that oh yeah like dip your little dog. Well, it's better than having permanently black feet. I know, it's so true.

Starting point is 00:14:09 But don't you just kind of think it's a part of who I am also? I do. Yeah. It's like something's comforting about that. What if I have another wine tour situation on my hands? Okay. Where I have been angered by an old woman, and then I want to speak on it and then the yep that's it honestly speak your truth because i was there i was a first-hand witness and i'm

Starting point is 00:14:35 coming to bat for you okay this helps and not that i doubt you fuck you no it's not that i doubt you but i have sometimes brooke's always doubting me she thinks my stalker's hot i give up it's not it's crazy here's the thing like you are known for embellishing a little i'm like i know it's so funny because it's like i'll be i'm literally the most dramatic person on this planet and then like when people are saying this i'm like how dare you guys like it really did happen maybe just like you you sprinkled like a little extra in there but that really happened so essentially I want to give a little bit of backstory for the viewer okay um and you guys

Starting point is 00:15:15 know how I am I want to say the name I want to say everything but I've I learned some lessons um from the last... Dockscape. Essentially, there is this store in Los Angeles, right, that I had been going to for years and a lot of other people I know have always gone to that store. And it's exactly the type of people that you would think go to that store alongside me. Like, I think Elijah Daniel put me on to the store.

Starting point is 00:15:44 Like, a lot of my musician friends go there essentially it's this jewelry shop in LA but everything in the store is fake okay so if you're shooting something or you're doing something like and you wanted to have 10 chrome hearts rings on your finger but you didn't want to go spend 10 grand for it you go to this place right so it's like and it's like all costumes canal street yeah exactly it's a just a canal street ass store right but it's owned by this lady and everyone knows her by this nickname and she's crazy she's so crazy and everyone knows it and everyone knows her and like laughs at that and it's always been that way and it's one of those things where you go into the store and every single time she tells you it's all real right

Starting point is 00:16:29 and it's it's not it's like and then bless her heart like everything's so clearly off of like etsy yeah and she'll like overprice it like i held up like a vivian westwood necklace and i was like how much and she was like 150 but for you my love 70 and that's you would have gotten me I'm like oh just go and that's all the things are barterable like you that's what you do when you go in there like you're you barter and you put a bunch of shit together and it used to be like the bee's knees okay because the prices used to be like a lot lower oh she's toxic now she also was just a little bit more normal like still crazy but in like a funny way right but then shit started taking a turn for the worse because

Starting point is 00:17:09 I think she got people started coming in like it became like a little known secret in this community in LA and I think that she realized that so she started like really lying to people and like really finessing I'll never forget like one time um Ashley got like a fake Cartier ring from her and she's like this is the best quality this is the best one like obviously telling Ashley it's Cartier but again a Cartier ring is like three thousand dollars and you're charging two hundred and fifty dollars like you know it's it's not real obviously and the second Ashley left like the little diamond fell out of it so we bring it back to get it fixed and she's like I'm gonna fix it in the back I'm gonna bring it no I'm gonna bring you a new one something like that right and she comes

Starting point is 00:17:47 back out with the same ring and the thing is like super glued in it and covered in super glue and she's trying to charge ashley and ashley's like i'm not paying you this is covered in super glue you know what i mean and then it's like this whole altercation like they're fighting right a couple years ago she sold a bunch of stuff to like some people and she told them it was real and they believed her and they came back and they held her at gunpoint. Like because of caught up a lot. She's been caught. But because of how it's delivered and like she's screaming at you. I'm surprised they haven't like raided her. That's like I mean, it's a real crime. Yes, that happened like twice, I think, or three times.

Starting point is 00:18:24 Like people have gone back to her and like gotten violent with her because the shit that she's selling is fake and the shit that she's saying and doing and like yeah there's always some lore with something that's happening over there because it's like she's so i wish i could explain it like she's screaming at you in the top of her lungs like just angry like but it's all about a good deal it whatever. And this one time page and I went in essentially cause I, we needed something for something and you'll always just pick out all the things you want. And then she'll give you this total that she's making up on the spot.

Starting point is 00:18:52 And then like, you'll, it'll be like five grand and then you barter her down and like whatever. And you want to take it away. So I don't even honestly, yeah, let me have it. So,

Starting point is 00:19:01 but she's also funny. Cause like, you'll find something like on the rack and show it to her and be like how much and she's like doing the calculation she's like 175 and then you get up to the front she's like 350 it's like wait wait you just told me 175 and then the second that you tell her like oh you just told me 175 like she's fighting with yeah she's like she's like no no no no screaming so i did witness this firsthand me and t go up to the register we have like our collection of jewelry and we always go through at the end like pick out what we want don't want

Starting point is 00:19:29 whatever and we see her like calculating everything and by the end of it our total should have been like 800 or something yeah and we see her typing in her calculator and it ended up being like a thousand seven hundred it was something crazy it was something crazy and i remember we were like i was like uh tana what's she doing and tana was like wait wait she stopped her and she was like hold on hold on like what's going on she has my credit watch her do it she literally has the credit card like about to put into like the card reader and we're like wait wait stop stop and she's like what and she's putting my card into the terminal as i'm telling her not to yeah like and we're just screaming like whatever it's

Starting point is 00:20:05 like we literally had to like grab the card from her and be like wait no no no pause you're not doing that I think you literally said you jumped over the counter like across the fucking counter not literally like you know what I mean but like you know what I mean like across the counter grab the fucking card whatever we leave I literally have the panic attack of a century like because it's screaming like she's screaming and you can't get a word and it's like and then I just decided at that point that I now as much as I loved the deals on the jewelry that it's no longer like a fun little thing and then I'm done with all of that buy the real thing yeah but obviously at the time it was just nice obviously for a million reasons to buy it there and yeah I swore off it forever and then that night i went on jeff fm and

Starting point is 00:20:45 like told the story essentially and then oh this was that recently yeah it was this was probably like a year ago but wait so she made a tiktok okay so that clip isn't isn't like new no no i thought that clip was brand new no no no no no oh i think she deleted it oh that's good she probably came to her senses well she probably knew she was in the wrong for sure but also she was being so funny i was like looking at some of the comments under her video that she posted and she would respond someone was like i think like i believe tana i think this is real like da da da and she goes honey she comes in and she's high she doesn't know what she's doing yeah so she does this whole stitch where she's saying that

Starting point is 00:21:22 like i was high out of my mind i was literally sober at the time first of all like she just has this whole elaborate story and like she's just the same and i've just been seeing it all over twitter and everything and like i feel like people are trying to make it something it's not but it's really funny because like there's so many comments on these tiktoks about it that are like other people sharing their testimonies like like i came into the store and she put a ring on my finger and like made me buy it and shit like she's just nuts and this whole thing is so nuts and it's like i don't even know she is just like a little hustler yeah but i get it what do you call that like um scammer yeah just had to clear that one up for the books i believe you i was gonna say i do feel bad

Starting point is 00:22:05 because she has like a small business and i get it she's just trying to you know rents due keep the life but there has to be an easier way there was a point in time where she would tell everyone who came in her husband died yes to try to pity them into buying shit and one day we came in and her husband was just there i'm not kidding I think I've seen this film before. Yeah, she was like ultimate, like final boss level scammer. Yeah, you can't just kill people off. Yeah. We've always said that.

Starting point is 00:22:34 Should we talk about the Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef? I feel like it's so, we were avoiding it for a while because it's like, this is definitely a girls and gays podcast, but it's so mainstream that we should probably talk about it, right? Yeah. Although I might not be completely up to date. I probably should have paid attention to Keefa when he was talking. It's so crazy because Keefa came on our podcast

Starting point is 00:22:54 and before anything and went down said, Kendrick Lamar is going to come put his foot in everyone's ass. You didn't call that. Okay, but Keefa would have known that. No, I know, but it's cool that we got like the big break from like someone in like you know what i mean the meat like who would have thought that the canceled podcast would have like an inside exclusive big break on that we just didn't know i just oh it's so good the and it's probably a minor i know it's crazy did you see too his like cover art for that song

Starting point is 00:23:23 is a picture of drake's house with a bunch of like how do you say it like pins basically that like show where sex offenders live so it's drake's house and there's a bunch of like tags showing that there's like multiple registered sex offenders like on the property oh shit oh i didn't know that part i saw like the pill bottles for the sleeping pills the ozempic and shit yeah but then now drake responded essentially saying like you thought that you had a leak in ovo and you thought that there was a fed fetting me out in ovo but like i planted that person to trick you yeah right something with his daughter too like he framed it so that daughter he doesn't have a daughter he's playing

Starting point is 00:24:02 i think i might be totally wrong i think he's claiming yeah yeah yeah is that real though or does is it just like could be like such a funny cover art and not funny sex offenders are never funny thank you brooke for the clarification honestly i think the funniest thing ever that was like during coachella and like drake and rick ross were going at it like beefing with each other on Instagram, like going back and forth on their stories. And Rick Ross was calling Drake like BBL Drake. Like we see- Wait, everybody's been saying that. Do you think he got a BBL?

Starting point is 00:24:32 I don't know, but it's so funny. Calling him like BBL Drake and Drake posted like a screenshot of text with his mom being like, don't listen to Rick Ross. Like he's loopy off the Manjaro. And he goes, he goes, he just performs at proms for money now that's such a read to phil you're loopy off the menjaro and you perform at proms and rick

Starting point is 00:24:56 ross is like coming back at him going save the bbl shit for the girls in the ysl heels that's funny to imagine being a girl in the ysl heels you're like what the fuck did like catching strays dude but too many people at this point have said that drake has a bbl for him to not have a i swear i think it's more like a dig at his personality being so bbl girl coded yeah i thought it was like he like literally but because i could fully see him i think he did get like he's got that belly button i think he got ab etching i was is he like caked up no i'm so serious i could see it like i could i feel like drake is like a pretty girl literally go back to this but i went to the drake concert and i came out here and i said i don't know i don't like how he was moving you did you did bbl girl though like that

Starting point is 00:25:38 he was he was kicking his feet like he was like running and kicking his butt when he ran oh like yeah yeah I heard it here first I like and I listen to Drake more like way more and like his responses I also do think were really like great to Kendrick but like it's kind of getting eaten up no yeah I think so it's hard there just has to be a winner and it doesn't always have to be your favorite it just has to be whoever won the fight because I think kendrick chose like psychological warfare like they doing it all in a minor like there are certain yeah there are certain letter to the grams he did an entire song do you know this opens it up dear adonis and like the first set of bars from the song is all about like if you don't understand what i'm saying now come back to this when you're 18 like be nothing like nothing like your dad. He's so embarrassing.

Starting point is 00:26:25 Like, yada, yada. Then moves on to Drake's mom. Oh, that's so dangerous, though. Like, when people get into the kids. I know. Like, do you remember when people were coming at Hayley Jade and Eminem was, like, started setting people on fire? What were you going to say?

Starting point is 00:26:37 Oh, okay. It's funny, too, because, like, one of the lines in Drake's song is, like, Metro, shut your hoe ass up and make some drums. And then everyone was, like, he has them cornered cornered like Metro has no choice because it's like either he drops like a diss track then it's like okay Drake made his rap career start or he continues to make his beats and it's embarrassing because it's like you're doing what Drake said to do yeah but he did he made a beat and it's literally like BBL Drizzy's in the beat and he put it to the public and he said like everyone hop on this track whoever makes the best diss track to drake can get the beat for free oh and

Starting point is 00:27:09 is that the one where it's like the the girl singing bbl yes oh i didn't know metro boomin did that i thought like ai did that like you never know anymore you know what i mean i had no idea metro boomin did that that's iconic i know and he opened up like it was like everyone have at this man you know there was a point in my music career where metro boomin slid in my dms right and we started but not because of my music career let me clarify that like he slid in my dms trying to hit i'm assuming right and we started texting and he would like only want me to come over at night obviously of course and then i'm like i was trying so hard to like like let's get in the studio yes and i did that to so many people during my like music career like at the time and it was

Starting point is 00:27:51 so crazy i thought you were gonna say i was trying so hard to get him to go out in the daylight no i was trying to get him to make me a beat and he just kept leaving me on scene like duh like what are you gonna do with that like imagine hefner on a metro boom and beat no like no I think absolutely not it would have slayed do you guys think that they're all sitting around though like have you ever been in something where you like feel so clever and you're like laughing do you think they're like giggling at their phones or do you think that's what I'm saying to me like yes it's rap beef and it like sounds so hard but to me it's just A bunch of little girlies Like angry girlies

Starting point is 00:28:25 Making poetry I saw a TikTok about that Yeah Like it's You know what I mean It's just a bunch of Grown men writing poems About each other

Starting point is 00:28:32 Beautiful poems About each other Oh it's Dom Gabriel You know Drake's like Kicking his little feet too Smiling at his phone Imagine it's like A hot pink typewriter

Starting point is 00:28:41 He has his little legs Crossed behind him Yup His acrylic nails Typing up click clacking he is that meme you know what i'm talking about yes plus his heart but also what the fuck do we know about rap at all or about either like the parasocial relationship well we know about drama we can speak to some drama i know someone who fucked drake though and they told me that they

Starting point is 00:29:02 think drake fucks like a girl Like did he I heard that as well You're pegging I don't know about that far I think that we can't start that rumor No but It was like kind of like girly Like he's moaning I'm imagining the faces

Starting point is 00:29:24 You know what I mean He's arching I'm imagining the faces like You know what I mean He's arching He's like Woo woo He is a little uber girl Woo woo Drake No

Starting point is 00:29:37 Oh Yeah I can see it Oh my gosh Oh man Well How come no one's gotten Gypsy Rose on a beat? Okay, next topic.

Starting point is 00:29:46 But just imagine like, I'm on a high right now. Miami. I'm positive like somebody's Diplo has done that already. Right. Yeah, I know. I know. But I want her like in the steel cooking. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:29:59 Like imagine her at Zouk. Come on. Come on. Okay, should we stop with the rap beef of it all is this enough yeah i mean i covered all of our bases and then some i want to talk about naked and afraid the television show i there you know there's a new one naked attraction what you were gonna say yeah i know all about naked attraction naked attraction is an amazing show and i think they should never stop it it's a british reality show where everyone dates but they show their genitals first before their faces and it's one of the craziest things i've ever seen in my entire life but do you like eliminate people based yes yeah if you're like

Starting point is 00:30:41 oh i don't like like that he has a bush i would be kicked out first round circumcised i think so too they would see my titties touching my knees and be like what kind of sick fuck do you have to be to go on that shit you have to be yeah that's weird bb in the corner smiling i know you would do it bb i was about to absolutely shit on the type of person that would do it and then i made eye contact with you and i'm like you would do but what if someone would do it so quickly a grower and not a shower that's kind of like unfair you know what i've had so much experience with that lately yes that i can like growers and it's i love growers it feels like those little things that you drop into the water

Starting point is 00:31:20 but they're not they're not exactly right. That's just like that. The little dinosaurs or whatever. And like do a trick. Come on. That's the thing. They're not like hard at the time. So it's like, what if it's just like a little like. And it's so funny too, because it's like the people will eliminate the people like, oh, I don't like the way he's standing.

Starting point is 00:31:38 It's like, no, you don't like that. Uncircumcision. Yeah. I love a hood. Have you ever? Honestly, same. He's just a camera. uncircumcision yeah like i love a hood have you ever honestly same camera sent me what did you say it's like blind leaf huh what when you look into the camera blind leaf what is it

Starting point is 00:31:57 who's wheeze that you the whistle tone leave i told you i'm out for the count today dude i'm out for the count speaking of who's whistle tone dude i love that we started with they get attraction but do you know that like so long ago so so so long ago ariana grande's dms with pop crave on twitter got leaked right she was dming with pop crave and they all got leaked allegedly this is all alleged but in the dm she was talking shit about me and jake paul and now they're resurfacing again and like i just got tagged you remember when she came for bryce hall what she what yeah ariana grande or something saddle ranch super spreaders honestly she probably came for me for you

Starting point is 00:32:50 at the time honestly 100 it was essentially she said like i feel so bad for their kids she ate with that one but honestly the fact that ariana grande knows you is crazy it's that's just it's crazy that it's like resurfacing again. Because I've known about this on and on. You have to assume like there's a lot of people who know you that you probably don't think about. Like Kamala Harris. So bold of you to assume. No, I know she does.

Starting point is 00:33:17 She's like outside. Also. Well, I mean, when I saw that clip of her clearly barred out. You think you fell out of a coconut tree like lower the kolonapindo steva i was like wait maybe you know we're more alike than right to me saying that me and kamala harris are more alike than different is why i need to draw the line like i didn't mean that i'm a different person i think i could stand behind when i And when I said that. The way like I understood what she was saying too. I was like, fax queen. Naked and Afraid.

Starting point is 00:33:50 Okay. Naked and Afraid, the television show. Okay. I have always heard about it. It's kind of a household name, right? And we all,

Starting point is 00:33:57 I'm naked and afraid. We always talk about it, right? I've never sat down and watched a full episode of that show at length until the other day on tour. Because that's one thing with tour is you get footy with the cable television.

Starting point is 00:34:09 You're going to say footy. You get so footy with the cable television. The amount of hours of ridiculousness I have consumed is just ungodly. There'll be no Netflix on the TV, so you're watching whatever's on. You know what I mean? Reba, love that show, just rediscovered it due to the cable. You know what I mean? Naked and Af afraid was on first of all dude it's just like i understand that it's exactly what it says but like they put these people in the middle of the wilderness

Starting point is 00:34:38 buck naked with nothing and they have to like figure it out but their ass crack is out on live television it's like i'm like what if something crawls up in there i know and it's like that's where a bush would come in handy like they're hugging for warmth like grown men and they're just butt naked like dicks touching type shit you know what i mean and it's the most embarrassing thing i've ever seen in my entire life they don't even blur the ass crack they don't even blur the ass crack. They don't even blur the ass crack. They are like hairy hole out on national television, scavenging these grown men foraging. Imagine signing up for it.

Starting point is 00:35:13 Like how, what do you have to be? That's the worst part. Tana was like, like what amount of money would you do this for? And I was like, honestly, it would have to be like 500 K like no shoes out in the wilderness.

Starting point is 00:35:25 Like not that I have a number for what it is. I feel i know but i'm desperate but she literally was like i was thinking she was gonna say like 500 million or something 500k put me out in the wilderness well how long are you out there three weeks that's a really long time they do it for free the people who go on naked and afraid do it for solely the satisfaction of saying, I survived naked and afraid in the middle of the forest. Dude, I was just watching one of these episodes. So it's a guy and a girl. They don't know each other, right?

Starting point is 00:35:54 And they get out there, and they finally find their water source, right? And they're dehydrated. Think about it. You haven't had water in like two days, and you finally find a creek, and you're stoked on the creek, right? And this bitch shits in the water source they're naked she starts shitting in the water source in

Starting point is 00:36:10 front of this man like that's a whole thing what the fuck on national television that's another thing now they can't drink the water she ends up drinking the water and she gets sick people fans write in they write in and they're like please i would love to go on whatever there was a clip the other day of someone holding up their newborn baby at home and it was like my dad is going on naked and afraid on the baby's one like it is the most fucked up alabama shit i've ever seen in my entire life the obsession with the show they do it for free i don't understand dude oh my god i just yeah that's that's got to be some sort of Like weird fetish Like there's not Like what do you have to gain

Starting point is 00:36:46 And what do you have to prove What do you have to prove I know And then All of this Mind you by the way It's on the Discovery Channel Hey

Starting point is 00:36:56 It's on the That's where I'll draw the line No no no no I love the Discovery Channel I'm not shitting on the Discovery Channel But when I Was until 48 hours ago when I thought

Starting point is 00:37:06 Discovery Channel I thought like credible globe you know what I mean like dot gov I it was so dot gov to me until 48 hours ago and then when you watch this fucking show what the fuck and every other show on the Discovery Channel is like what like Skinwalker invasion yeah like i saw a little people like wrestling situation yeah yeah they had like a show called mud baddies or something it's like these like hot girls like in like rvs like going through mud wait i kind of love it i just i didn't know the discovery channel was like got down like that dude and page was saying like imagine all the people sitting around like pitching like naked and afraid like trevor wallace do a skit on it please he's the only one who could accurately depict that completely people out in the wilderness no food no water

Starting point is 00:37:53 no cell phone they gotta be naked what the fuck what the fuck and it's like no clue it's just you need to watch it i can't even like explain it like i was watching i've seen it two grown men swinging like rubbing sticks together for fire and then like a helicopter comes and gets them at the end imagine being the person fucking flying the helicopter and you just see these people like balls out keep it moving it's just i just can't even actually that is fucking crazy honestly though i maybe i'll go on just for the fun i love people's luck too there are seasons where people fuck like like all dirty and like in the bushes but at that point like why not that's how i feel about like showmances on

Starting point is 00:38:36 survivor i'm like y'all haven't showered or wiped you know you know i can't even try to act like i wouldn't do a conversation for us it was so no i would for sure do it and there's like oh god survivor i at the beginning not even covid like literally last year i got so into survivor it was like not even okay i watched like 36 seasons in like three weeks last year i applied for survivor like on my own time at home i think you would literally slay a survivor it is my dream maybe not like the physical aspect but like like the the manipulation aspect like your social game i feel like you would slay i want i would love to go on survivor i fully like filmed a self-tape

Starting point is 00:39:17 like out them and like sent it in like hi i'm tana moshe like but i was like probably drunk wait what's the premise of survivor is it like a fear factor get this naked and frayed you have to survive it's not very like fear factor there's not like a lot of like things like that but it's a lot of physical challenges and also like it's a social game so like people form alliances and like was that what jojo seba was on no but it's like hers was more oh no i mean it's that's a real like question she was on um so special forces oh which is one of the best shows I've ever seen in my but is survivor like out in the wilderness yeah they always have different sets like so it depends like and the conditions will be different sometimes it'll be like a rainforest sometimes it'll be like it's always different but I'm not winning survivor

Starting point is 00:39:59 like don't get me wrong right literally obviously oh fuck no no i just want to i literally just i feel like it's like one of those things where i just want to say i like i was on survivor like that's it everything else sounds awful but it's like so much manipulation like making someone think you're on their side but like really you're you have an alliance with like these people and you're like so it's like the hunger games yeah and i love the host jeff probst yeah he's amazing i think he's so funny he gets hotter every season i know he's been hot for like since i was six guys like you know like there's certain guys who like literally get hotter with age like patrick dempsey matthew mcconaughey oh oh my god 100 that man's going to be in the nursing home

Starting point is 00:40:35 and i'm still gonna oh my god the things i would do to him that's my one person so oh my gosh age is like fine wine his voice too just does it for me everything about him i cannot believe that somebody like that physically existed on this planet and he's not my husband. I know. And he will never be. You know what else I was noticing in the cable TV of it all? My topics are all written when I was just absolutely stoned after a show at 4am. But I'm laying in bed about to fall asleep, right? And all of a sudden, Billy Mays comes on the tv screaming at the top of his lungs about

Starting point is 00:41:05 the sham wow and it just brought you remember him right like it's so crazy because i i was in vegas the other day and also had cable tv on and it's like vegas is a bigger city and like all of the commercials were very much like new age like they were literally for like ozempic and ai and like a new restaurant and like yada yada but the second that we're in like milwaukee yeah it was like a 2007 commercial for like the sham wow it's so crazy there was like a commercial for bobcats what's bobcats like the tractors oh i thought you meant real bobcats i'm like what are they in danger in like wisconsin there was a commercial for bobcat vehicles i was like there's no way i didn't

Starting point is 00:41:45 know i that's really all i had just rest in peace billy mays but that isn't that so crazy that marketing was like that at the time as well though like just this random man is screaming at you screaming at you gun to your head through the tv to buy this rag that you can keep rinsing out and like it made billions what about like the bump it or like all the infomercials had about it oh my god or that straightener that like straightened wet to dry no you use that oh yeah but your hair sounded like popcorn getting made in the microwave yeah like there was just no way in hell oh my god billy may's death was like a really pivotal point in my life i feel i 100 like do you remember i was devastated remember

Starting point is 00:42:18 where you were absolutely no but i also don't remember like 9-11 But I do remember like Billy Mays Oh yeah how old are you? Right now? 26 But I tell everyone 25 She remembers 9-11 I'm so convinced that I remember 9-11 But she was literally like 2 There's no way I know but I do But you know that sometimes you're told a story

Starting point is 00:42:38 You probably learned that story so young That it felt like it was a memory Yeah you're right i don't know what's what you know what i mean like that that i think i remember and i probably don't remember but it's because i was told the story at such a young age that i forgot that it wasn't that i don't remember but i like to convince myself that i was like two standing there and i was like i remember it out of here barely like i barely i was five which is crazy yeah Billy Mays there was a whole time I mean me and Tana just like got so violently high every night of tour like we'd go back to her hotel room

Starting point is 00:43:13 smoke like three joints and then just have like the craziest discussions but I was telling her I'm on ghost TikTok right now well yeah that's what yeah and I get so scared about it but like I think it's so interesting but I was saying to T tan i'm like what's the end goal like let's say like okay okay stick with me like a ghost like a demon's haunting you right like spooky scary they finally possess you now what i don't know like what's the point you want to be me so bad like they just become like a super villain do they just like wreak havoc on the town i think you could say that to a ghost and they'd give up because that's embarrassing right like what are you trying to do what page i feel like this is gonna get you possessed that she never quits she just like starts acting possessed like you're

Starting point is 00:43:58 that'll do it page and i had to have a sleepover because we were in a haunted hotel yeah i'm like too weird about ghost stuff like even when people start talking about it i'm like no no no stop like someone will ask me do you believe in ghosts and i'm like no no no no you get freaked out like i because i just i believe though like that most ghosts are friendly and like they probably keep us safe after my sleep paralysis stints like i fully believe in demons and i think that it's just like i wanna like you don't know me i don't know you listen you know what i mean i'll leave you alone yeah like i'll just you have to do like i don't think we've any of us have done anything to like really piss off a ghost i probably have like you know anne frank is like

Starting point is 00:44:33 stop talking about me diva yeah but i feel like she's got bigger fish to fry yeah she got some ops did y'all see kim kard Kim Kardashian get booed last night? But I think it's unclear if she was getting booed or if her joke got booed. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because it's as she's walking up. Tom Brady's roast. Wait, did you see? Yes.

Starting point is 00:44:56 No, it's not. She gets booed when she makes the Kevin Hart short joke. I saw it as she was walking up. I saw a clip of her walking up getting booed. No, she says, I know people make fun of you for your height, and then she's getting booed. No, but I saw one of Tom Brady's, too, where she was walking up I saw a clip of her Walking up getting booed No she says I know people make fun of you For your height And then she's getting booed No but I saw one of like Tom Brady's too

Starting point is 00:45:08 Where she was getting booed Not Kevin Hart Oh really Yeah Damn I've been I don't know But she kind of ate though

Starting point is 00:45:14 I know Like when she Like left stage People were cheering for her Crazy Karma is a relaxing She's literally Kim Kardashian It doesn't matter

Starting point is 00:45:20 Oh yeah But that's the thing Is it Thank you Amy That was the reason For the booing I've been seeing all these TikToks that are talking about how people are theorizing that this is the year that the Kardashians get like flipped on their head and like the downfall of the Kardashians yeah and that like they are really so powerful that it's like no one lets

Starting point is 00:45:42 you remain in power that long and if you think about the way that our culture and society is now, like everything good eventually gets, you know what I mean? And it's like from the top or every yeah, everything that's like, yeah, like and I like isn't that kind of crazy? That is it's interesting to think about. I'm eager to see like if anybody else, even just people already seeing people's reactions to like their met looks and stuff like it's but I feel like I feel like Chris would be on top of that Chris would be like okay fine you guys hold tight it's a flop year everybody like what is do everybody do your least yeah that's fair that's what I mean to like prep for something like that because they know they're like the most you know they're probably sitting on some like valuable tea to drop like Kendall's gonna be a lesbian yeah're probably sitting on some like valuable tea to drop. Like Kendall's going to be a lesbian.

Starting point is 00:46:25 Yeah. And I feel like they were about to say Kendall gets spotted with Hasbulla. There's just so many of them that they can all like take one for the team here and there. It's like if one of them has to like get in like a major scandal to stay relevant. Yeah, that's fair. Do you think Courtney Loki loves to see it too? Like Kim getting booed? Of course.

Starting point is 00:46:41 Oh yeah. I don't know. Are you kidding? She put. Yeah. Oh yeah. Whatever. What else? Tom Brady Rose was fucking fucking hilarious did you see Nikki Glaser no I need to watch the whole

Starting point is 00:46:50 thing tonight she's that she won she is so funny she's so funny she's such a fucking icon she really is but I just like oh I admire her so much I'm like god I hope one of our friends gets roasted one day I know it'd be so fun we should do like an at-home roast session we should or we should do like what jason ash used to do with like i was thinking about the other day hosting a roast with like it would be so slay if we like got all of our friends together who were down like whitney and like jeff and like trevor yeah it'd be so funny we should do some shit like that eventually we'll do a tanamojo roast i would have a field day god you would they would be like flashing the light they're like get off stage they're like pulling you off they're like time's been up

Starting point is 00:47:31 dude i love like when you hit the pre-giggle that's how i know it's gonna be good it's not even gonna amari and i were just in tears last night right we always are just making a joke about like when i leave like what pr i'm going to come home to and we equate it in the house we always have about like if i come home to a lot of pr it's like you're on top right now the brands like you like if i come home to no pr it's like you're in your flop era like you're irrelevant yada yada i come home granted it was two weeks of tour this is all such jaded influencer jargon okay so like no one needs any PR I don't need anything obviously but I come home to like a TikTok shop envelope and that was like

Starting point is 00:48:12 it right and Amari's cooking me like Tana you're in your flop era he literally verbatim said you need to get back on your PR game right and I'm like Amari this is a simulation right and then Brooke's story looks like the kardashian christmas yeah i was making jokes all of tour too like you just come home to like a hot pink bronco like a smeg fridge like just the difference i genuinely need to show you wait hold on look at the difference that's just insane I wasn't doing as well on this tour as I have in the past and so every day that I felt bad I needed like some sort of like impulse like situation so I was buying things too half of that was like shit I bought myself thank you for the pity it's so fucking funny it really is so fucking

Starting point is 00:49:08 funny well thank you to those two prs yeah you want to keep you want to share no page i promise you it was like shit i ordered off tiktok shop dude i want to have like a little segment on here where i share funny stories of like working for you oh please i know you have one under your belt that i love to hear every single time just because i'm gonna be on like once in a blue moon I just feel like I have to sprinkle in some work lore you're stuck here but yeah go ahead I know um one of my favorite Tana stories of all time this happened like a year ago and I'm home in Massachusetts I'm in Massachusetts she is in Ibiza Ibiza I tell you or Ibiza for the pretentious people she's in Ibiza away miles away and I get a call from her and I go what could this be I

Starting point is 00:49:55 answer I'm like hi T she's so drunk hammered in Ibiza she goes the wi-fi doesn't work in the villa i'm at home in massachusetts like this like using telepathy i get her wi-fi to work like what could she have done dude i have i i'm page i'm so sorry for the amount of time you had to work for me while i was drunk i thought you were about to tell the um he has an enema snoopy charger story and i was that woman's up next i was i was clenching i i forget how this this came up the other night but like i was spelling something and i said like v as in vagina right and it was like the only word that could come to my mind you know there's an actual alphabet for that and it's not like something you just like bravo charlie yeah yeah i didn't know that oh but i like to play the game yeah i like to play the game where i go

Starting point is 00:50:45 off the top of my head but like page and i also i guess this all started with crack packing right we coined the crack pack our workplace environment is so toxic wait crack pack or smack pack because i've heard you say two in this no no no smack pack is like when you have like some good shit happen like yeah or like a good set like a smack pack for me would be like a pickle talky gusher okay right or you know what I mean like if we have a joint and we're watching like naked and afraid like that's our smack pack oh yeah crack pack oh is when you pack for a trip but I would say 95% of the time you are wildly inebriated on whatever substance of your choice okay some work better than others obviously of course we're packing a suitcase and when I lived at my last house I feel like I was at the peak of

Starting point is 00:51:31 my it was just alcoholism it wasn't even camp anymore you know what I mean it was scary I can think of so many times where we were packing for a trip that we're leaving on at like 6 a.m. I was thinking of one the other day where like the power would always go out there because it was in the hills and I remember I'm hammered walking around with two lit candles like wax spilling in the pitch black dark rolling clothes we were having a damn near seance packing these bags we had like 10 candles lit around us in a circle hammering bags but there was this one night where we were leaving we were going to the versace. So it's already like if you're leaving to go to the Versace mansion. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:07 The state you've got to be in. For sure. At that point. And I want it like I drank probably two bottles of wine. Oh, she was two bottles of Josh Deep. Oh, no. A lot of Xanax. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:19 Yeah. She took she took a bar or two. And this is she calls the hotel. Yeah. She's sober. Thank God. Damn. I can't believe she calls the hotel. Yeah, she's sober. Thank God. Damn, I can't believe I stuck it through. I can't either.

Starting point is 00:52:30 Honestly, those were dark days. I'm so sorry. It's okay. We're better than ever. But she calls. Can't even get the sentence out. At all. I'm like, the trauma's coming out.

Starting point is 00:52:39 I'm like, ah, ah. She calls the Versace mansion to like check something for our check-in. Right. And she's talking to the mind you pages. Like I'll do it. I'm sober. I'm sitting next to her. It's my laptop.

Starting point is 00:52:51 And I'm like, T like, it's okay. I got it. Like I'll pull up the reservation, whatever. She's going, no,

Starting point is 00:52:55 no, no, let me do it. I got it. She's opening up like 10 tabs of the same thing. I'm like watching her just like twiddling my thumbs. Like she's like, it's okay.

Starting point is 00:53:04 I'll do it. She finally pulls up like the confirmation after 20 tries. She's like, her eyes are crossing and she's on the phone like with the operator and she's like, okay, are you ready for the confirmation? She's going through like the letter. She's like, Y, Z, E as in enema. I literally, oh no, I literally went. Like, there's no way.

Starting point is 00:53:30 There's no fucking way. And I'm just simpler choice. He is an elephant. Tana Marie. And so I'm just like hammered to this. I just started dating Kevin, too, for like three weeks. And I remember I was telling him I loved him like you don't. No, no, no. The best part so i like finished packing her stuff we're like checked in for the hotel i'm like okay t like you're all packed up i'm gonna go back to my place and pack she goes

Starting point is 00:53:53 i'll come with you i go it's okay you don't have to she's like no i'm coming okay great thing is you can't tell drunk tana anything oh no no no, no, no, no. So she gets back to my apartment, right? First of all, she gets on my bed, shoes on. She's like under my covers with her shoes. I'm seething. I'm like, no, no, no. I'm trying to pack as fast as I can. She's like drunk, rolling around in my bed.

Starting point is 00:54:15 And she's like, is Kyla home? Because me and Kyla are neighbors. And she's like, is Kyla home? I'm like, I don't know, Tana. She goes, OK, I'll be right back. She goes missing for 20 minutes. I finish packing my stuff. And I'm like, don't know tana she goes okay i'll be right back she goes missing for 20 minutes i finished packing my stuff and i'm like where is this girl i go to kyla's apartment walk in kyla walks out and she's going you have to get her you have to get her i walk into kyla's room tana is

Starting point is 00:54:37 down on all fours under the bed kyla's cat is under the bed and i walk into dana just going meow she's going meow meowing at the cat i'm like this is my boss you have a very serious job oh i was like there's no way'm so sorry. I kind of love that story. I love cat pussy Tana. Oh, just, no, just you wait. Oh, no, no, but just wait, just wait, just wait. So I finally get her together.

Starting point is 00:55:10 I'm like, all right, Tana, like, let's go back to mine. Like, leave Kyla alone. She has work at 6 a.m. Aw. So Tana finally comes back into my house, right? She's on my bed again. Shoes on, rolling around. And I have this, like, Snoopy stuffed animal on my bed.

Starting point is 00:55:26 Oh, no. rolling around and i have this like snoopy stuffed animal on my bed oh no i have this snoopy stuffed animal on my bed and she has the snoopy and she's like playing with it like like whatever she's like oh my god like how drunk do you have to be to go four year old on these hoes literally so finally she's i don't know she's kiki with snoopy i finish packing my bags and i go tana are you ready to go and she goes no i don't have all my stuff i go you didn't bring anything with you what are you talking about she goes no earth is a snoopy charger what was my snoopy charger she has my snoopy like and a grip he's thinking he's new i woke up the next day i don't think i've actually ever had anxiety that bad and it's like you're going to miami like you haven't even started what should be the anxiety activities at all it was like so bad dark ages yeah page i don't know how you've stuck it out i don't either thank you so much i'd be dead

Starting point is 00:56:37 god bless you that's why we're we're getting along so well we really are life is good i love my whole samara i'm so livid to be going to cabo sober well you know what the thing is i feel like you can do cabo sober i have done cabo sober it's actually not cabo sober it's like the fact that i know everything everyone else is like snoopy charger yeah and yeah that's the most frustrating feeling in the world to just be like you stupid fucking idiot yeah it's oh my god it's just gonna be a mess like everyone's gonna be doing their big one i'm so sorry it's not gonna be fun i think i think i'm happy miko was going massages that's literally all i'm gonna do i'm just like fuck off with miko like honestly it's gonna be great how long are you guys here like

Starting point is 00:57:18 three days i just talked for a year downstairs of course oh man you could bring to Maui that's true so as you guys know I have been petitioning and petitioning and petitioning I fear I might have gotten got okay and maybe I'm jumping the gun on this I didn't get got and I shouldn't be saying any of this no I think it's a valid thought because I've been having the thought for you as you guys know I'm now I'm doing your um I love it you're breaking the fourth wall still bird i forget what it was again fleabag that's a term too i don't know what's wrong with me like blind leaf i've been promoting morphe's makeup talk lip liner since the dawn of time and i love it more than anything brooke put me on because if i don't say that she's gonna beat the fuck out of me well no it wasn't that that you didn't say it's that she

Starting point is 00:58:08 was asking Morphe for a makeup talk collab and I go you know what would happen if I saw you pop out with a makeup talk collab with no mention of me whatsoever I'd be like where'd you get that I think you deserve the collab I think it should be a canceled collab. Honestly. And so. Exactly. Eventually they discontinue it. I'm really upset about it. We never stopped talking about it. I'm making a bunch of TikToks late.

Starting point is 00:58:37 Like I've made some crazy TikToks, obviously just joking, like saying like, I hope the CEO has a bad day. They did tell me they relayed that to the CEO and he laughed but I probably shouldn't have said that um but just like a lot of jokes whatever lately I've been amping it back up again and little did I know we made a TikTok literally less than a week ago where I was saying like Morphe please bring this back I will never shut up about it until you bring it back little did I know they already had a plan in the works to come visit me or at least send me makeup talk I don't know whatever we're in Chicago Paige again is like I have a surprise for you I'm like thinking it's the crunch wrap for real this time and the Morphe girls walk in with boxes of makeup

Starting point is 00:59:17 talk for all of us and which is so amazing like I have enough makeup talk until I'm in post-mortem okay and that's awesome and I love it so much and I'm in post-mortem okay and that's awesome and I love it so much and I'm so happy I've been down to my little nubs and like so on and so forth right I'm not gonna lie to you and maybe this is my fault like maybe I'm like really thinking of myself as something I'm not you know what I mean but I'm like there's no way they flew all the way out here just to give me some lip liner right no it was a beautiful business venture for them exactly and I know I loved it it was I we I'm literally wearing it on my hat as we speak like we love it we love them they came but then at the end of it they're like and we've restocked 500 for your fans and then

Starting point is 00:59:56 maybe we'll give you a collab like first of all the fact no no no that what they said was that they if they sell out the 500 then they they're going to bring Makeup Talk back. No mention of a collab. Oh. That's what I think is a little questionable about it because I'm like, not only did you just sell so many lip liners, it's just so that they can make more money. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:18 I posted that it was back for them and for the fans, obviously, because now I have my 40. I wanted to let people know because I do think it's the best it sold out in three minutes that's crazy and i have no check i have no check i've been doing so much free work for morphe i literally i want to give them a time limit and if it's like at that point they haven't done it i'm getting to the lab or i'm collabing with some brand that wants to no that's how i have certain brands that i've mentioned so many times that i'm like if you don't work with me i'm gonna start telling people like it made my hair fall out and here's the thing no one owes me like shit that's not why that's not the point the point

Starting point is 01:00:52 is is i have gotten swindled i think into doing way too much free work for more yeah that's what it is and like oh this god it is hard to say it without and meanwhile you know they're giving meredith ducksbury her 80th skin and billboards. Just knowing like how much money these influencers have made off of their Morphe collabs. I know it's like like tens of millions of dollars. So I just think it's kind of crazy. It was so nice that they did it. The gesture and everything was so nice.

Starting point is 01:01:19 But I just thought about it like really in my head after. And I was like, all it did was it was really smart for them because that now they're saying they ate me up though they really did maybe that's the thing too is like that they're like if you're gonna keep making jokes about like showing up to our headquarters with a gun like we're gonna flip this on you but it's so funny too because you're like on your 20th tiktok like raving about morphe for free like meanwhile is rotting downstairs for six months and i was like hey girl can you maybe post that today and she's like morphe makeup talk yeah i have to it's i'm just so authentic to a fault my takeaway is that tana sells okay yeah she can sell a product but that

Starting point is 01:02:01 just is the thing at the end of the day like i could sell so much more of a product than an influencer who converts less than me and the brands are going to choose the brand safe option every time it doesn't that's just bad business i'm like i wear makeup too like i just don't get it because it's like i really will never understand that because it's you really people buy so much shit just because you have it yeah i want it i know it doesn't make sense it is what it is that showbiz baby i know that there are people who have said i saw an alien right you know and i've probably been one of those people snoopy charger i was probably telling you all about how i saw ufo right like yes people say that they have had spottings but it's not like people are just kicking it with aliens in a waffle house

Starting point is 01:02:45 right like it's not like aliens are having meet and greets right it's not like there's not real cold hard cash when in the alien community community right and think about the fact that it's so like normalized like it's an emoji or so popularized like we all know what an alien is why why like don't you think it should be like a myth that's like barely known like aliens are as known as like cows dude and like why we had this whole breakthrough like when we were so high yeah i don't know if i could get behind you guys on this one but it's just like for how little we have known and seen about aliens, it should be something where like maybe we're in a room full of 10 people

Starting point is 01:03:28 and I'm like, oh my God, alien. And someone's like, what's that? Like, why does that? Why is it in a moment? Okay, well, like we've never personally been to Mars, but we know that Mars is there. Like that's what we know that. Well, there's hundreds of years of like research and stuff

Starting point is 01:03:43 about other planets in space and whatever it is. So like there's just an implied understanding like that there's hundreds of years of research and stuff about other planets and space and whatever it is. So there's just an implied understanding that there's life. But do you really think aliens should be as famous as cow? If you were Dutrick. I wish you watched the roast. That was the... Did you see the Gronk joke? Oh, wait.

Starting point is 01:04:03 Yes, yes. Oh, the crypto. crypto he's like this money ain't real yeah okay aliens didn't hit that wasn't no i get i get what you're saying why is alien as famous as cow and alien there's like a we see cow we we can also picture an alien yeah that's what i like we all collectively like know what it's a green fucking like little teardrop shaped yeah like it's just aliens are way too famous for what they've done. Maybe it was E.T. I used to scare the fuck out of me when I was little.

Starting point is 01:04:30 I'm so obsessed with E.T. That's my favorite character. I have E.T. I would just love to have a light up finger. He's so cute. He used to scare me so bad when I was young. That's how I feel about Furby. I think I was scared the first time I watched it too, but I just love that movie.

Starting point is 01:04:42 Like his little scream. And little Drew Barrymore. I love Drew Barrymore so fucking much much i literally like would die for her i know i hate so much when people get mad about drew barrymore like touching them or people try to make jokes about that like if drew barrymore was like sitting on my lap like i would be the happiest personal life she could wear my skin yeah literally i would want her to like caress my face gently me too she's so safe she's such a safe person you know she's like so good in bed with like her touch okay like you know what i mean like you think she's so safe she's such a safe person you know she's like so good in bed with like her touch okay like you know what i mean like you think she's a gentle lover sorry drew how did we get here there's something healing i was so quick we're like oh she's so

Starting point is 01:05:16 sweet and kind you know she's throwing it yeah but that's not what i mean i'm i don't think that drew barrymore is like reverse cowgirl fucking own finger in her own ass like you know what i mean i'm i don't think that drew barrymore is like reverse cowgirl fucking own finger in her own ass like you know what i mean maybe i just think those ones her touch is like seamless and beautiful yeah you think she's like okay i get what you're saying i hear you just like think about how much she's willing to touch someone on live television like what's she doing right okay she want you back to alien talk really quickly um i saw theo von get asked a question that was like if you were to use like choose one human to be a spokesperson for the entire human race who would you choose like if aliens came and invaded and we could only put

Starting point is 01:05:55 one first person forward to like represent us who would you choose i just saw this clip this morning. He just goes, a Filipino guy? I think I would use Drew Barrymore. Oh, wow. Yeah. Adam Sandler? He's a good one, but I kind of feel like he'd be like, what the fuck do you got me here for? Theo? I know.

Starting point is 01:06:20 No, that's not a good representation. No offense, but they will kill us all. But Trisha Paytas on the front lines oh yeah literally yeah but Trisha Paytas on oh my god she could give them like a full rundown of all history in five minutes no they just know everything about Quentin Tarantino the important shit she'd have them like try a mozzarella stick. A blingy cup. Yeah. God, I love her. So much. Wait, do you know that like we are so close to her giving birth that like this could be

Starting point is 01:06:50 out and there could be Elvis? That's so crazy. Oh my God. I'm so excited about that. Let's see my notes. I gained five pounds on tour. That's a really small amount to gain on tour. Tour is very very-

Starting point is 01:07:02 No, no, no, no, no. Not like collectively this past week and a half. Oh, that's fine. You can gain five pounds from literally a really big hot dog. Well, we were doing big backtivities. We ordered a restaurant called High Broken Hungry and I had to have like a full reevaluation of my entire life when I found myself in Milwaukee eating a deep fried Uncrustable.

Starting point is 01:07:24 I know that restaurant was in somebody's kitchen. Like all the photos were like taken on a Samsung Galaxy 2 and like it had three stars on Uber Eats like it just it was delicious though honestly if you're in Milwaukee or relationship but I love space food me too like just like like robot food like no human supposed to read 40 coma red 40 overdose 40 overdose My new hyper fixation is Indian food I can't stop eating Indian food at all times Always I had it before I came here today I had it last night I'm on the bulldog train heavy

Starting point is 01:07:53 I know you're Yeah I've been there I also had that yesterday I had to steal a pack from you I'm not kidding before we leave We have so many I got a lot from the meet and greets I love you guys for that

Starting point is 01:08:02 Let's see Oh I have Just like any random thought that came to me. I was writing down. I guess it kind of ties in with our Cabo lore, how we have so many allegations that we've hooked up. Oh, my God. Not that out there. I know.

Starting point is 01:08:17 Which is like very believable and very much in the realm of possibilities. But like people really think we fuck. But you're right. Like we're sitting here like, why do they think that? Like, that like i know why they think we're damn near scissoring it yes didn't you like say it one time like on your own or something probably i probably said i fucked you or my fans you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah and then we have a meme of us did you find the photo i will i will and I'll send it My birthday trip When we were all in Mexico

Starting point is 01:08:47 I love that one And Paige and I came back To the house holding hands We were making out though Oh yeah you guys did hook up that night What are you even talking about? But we didn't fuck Yeah I mean hook up like

Starting point is 01:08:56 Well what do you guys think about Saying hooked up to mean make out? I think it's just a Blanket term It can mean anything Yeah that's true. Really? When I say hooked up, I mean like specifically like have sex.

Starting point is 01:09:08 I don't think have sex, but I think more than make out. Like if I like suck dick. Yeah, that makes sense. Like that's hooked up. I think there was just a large period of my life that I genuinely felt like making out was like shaking hands. And that's a horror. It's so fun and so casual.

Starting point is 01:09:27 Hey, Diva. Oh, my God. was like shaking hands and that's a horror it's so fun and so casual hey diva oh my god do you want to come tell your harriets on la cienega and sunset story or have we already told oh that was so good i think we have i don't know what's that you don't know oh you you didn't work with us yet did you no i don't with us is crazy like it's like we're all just one entity it was Amari's birthday and we were at Harriet's on La Cienega and Sunset well y'all were oh yeah he was telling the story last night to Zach and it's up there with Snoopy Charger stop essentially it's Amari's birthday and so we do a dinner and you know I like to like plan Amari's birthday and whatever so I'm like I'm gonna host him an after party at Harriet's on La Cienega and Sunset okay it's a rooftop bar for those who don't know and I'm so hammered that I get to the after party and you know how I was at the time with

Starting point is 01:10:15 throwing parties and shit I'm I was very much I still am with throwing events and shit like if I even see gaps in the room like I am inviting inviting everyone. You're putting that shit on Craigslist. It was and nobody could get in. And we were all, everyone's like waiting downstairs. Zach B is like the one bringing people up. Well, here's why. And nobody can get in. Nobody can get in.

Starting point is 01:10:33 I posted. What is happening? Like, why can't anyone get in? Like, what is going on? Oh my God. On my close friend story, my close friends, for those who don't know, has like 2000 people because when a girl needs to finesse, I just put it on my close friends, whatever it is that I want. And I put come to Harriet's on La Cienega and Sunset

Starting point is 01:10:49 and I almost got literally charged with inciting a riot and Amari couldn't get into his own birthday party. Like it was so many people and we were like, where are they coming from? And then it's like fully on her story. I forgot about that. Amari, do you have any additional lore? You want to come talk into this mic?

Starting point is 01:11:06 That is so funny. Or just your POV, like how you felt. But yeah, Paige, clearly I'm so excited. I'm like, oh my God, I'm obviously like tipsy with Gypsy, having a great time. And I'm like, oh my God, Tayden's throwing me an after party. This is so fun.

Starting point is 01:11:18 Harriet's iconic right now, you know? So I'm like, I show up and I'm standing down there for like 45 minutes. Cause they're like, we're at capacity. We're at capacity. I'm like, why are they at capacity? And I like, I'm on up and I'm standing down there for like 45 minutes because they're like, we're at capacity. We're at capacity. I'm like, why are they at capacity? And I like, I'm on Instagram and I see your clothes. You're like, it's my birthday.

Starting point is 01:11:30 No, literally it just says come to Harriet's on La Cienega and Sunset. And I'm just like, stop. So that's why. And I'm like, it's my birthday. 2,000 people is like a small town. And they were up there. I had to wait for like 30 people. It was literally shoulder to shoulder.

Starting point is 01:11:47 Nobody could move. No, I forgot about that. It became a meme for a while. It was our group chat name for like at least eight months. It became such a meme because you know my inviting the mailman problem. It was more so that she was like, I have no idea how this happened. She was, what is going on on and none of us thought to look and like when we saw it we were like there's just no way you played dumb this whole time

Starting point is 01:12:12 we obviously you know i don't remember was i just saying like i have no idea why where did they come from i'm like texting her. I haven't talked to her in years. She's like, why? She's like getting knocked around by people. She's probably like, it's so spacious up here. No one's here. I'm so sorry. Holy shit. I'm so sorry.

Starting point is 01:12:40 Holy shit. Okay, guys. Thank you so much for listening to Another episode Of the cancelled podcast Paige Thank you for joining us Our lovely third co-host It's like you belong here Oh my god Stop it

Starting point is 01:12:50 Stop it But keep going No thank you guys For having me This is fun We love you guys so much We're headed to Cabo To ruin some lives

Starting point is 01:12:58 We're happy to be back Off tour And yeah Bye Bye

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Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 83: TANA’S FACETIME WITH GYPSY ROSE BLANCHARD - Ep. 83

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