Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 84: TANA FOUGHT A WOMAN AT LAX - Ep. 84

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

On this episode of the Cancelled podcast Tana tells us how she had a horrible experience at LAX. Brooke discusses future plastic surgery she has planned and more! Curology: Visit https://CUROLOGY.com/CANCELLED for a special offer.  Draft Kings: New players, start by playing just $5 to get $50 in Casino Credits in your pocket INSTANTLY! All you gotta do is download the DraftKings Casino app and sign up with code CANCELLED. You’ll be soaking up the fun in no time! The Crown is Yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, or In West Virginia visit WWW.1800gambler.net. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling, call 888-789-7777 or visit CCPG.org. Please play responsibly. 21+. Physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. One per opted-in new customer. $5 in wagers required. Max. $50 in non-withdrawable Casino Credits that expire in 168 hours. See casino.draftkings.com/get50 for eligibility, terms, and responsible gaming resources. Adam and Eve: https://Adamandeve.com Offer is 50% off almost any item + FREE SHIPPING + RUSH PROCESSING Code is TANA  Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code CANCELLED at https://LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod Liquid Death: You can get free shipping of Liquid Death’s Mountain Water, Flavored Sparkling, and Iced Tea 8-packs with Amazon Prime or grab a can or a case at your local 7-Eleven, Target, Walmart, Whole Foods or on Instacart. Go to liquiddeath.com/CANCELLED to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer.  DONATE WITH US Operation Olive Branch Aid For Palestinian Families  https://linktr.ee/opolivebranch Save the Children https://support.savethechildren.org/site/Donation2?df_id=5850&5850.donation=form1&cid=Paid_Search:Google_Paid:Emer_Middle_East:Nonbrand:121223&s_kwcid=AL!9048!3!692198497108!e!!g!!palestine%20charity&gad_source=1&gclsrc=aw.ds Palestine Children’s Relief Fund https://pcrf1.app.neoncrm.com/forms/general MAP (Medical Aid for Palestinians) https://www.map.org.uk/?form=FUNFXHDCJPK British Red Cross https://www.redcross.org.uk/stories/disasters-and-emergencies/world/whats-happening-in-gaza-humanitarian-crisis-grows BBC History of the Israel Gaza Conflict https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-44124396 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get it from our Tread Experts. Until May 30th, purchase four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires and receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard. Conditions apply. Details at Michelin.ca. Find a Michelin Tread Experts dealer near you at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at Treadexperts.ca slash locations. Everyone's got a pro. Need tires?

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Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Before we get into today's episode of the Cancelled Podcast, we feel that it would be very irresponsible to not discuss what is happening in the world right now. And we wanted to let you guys know that we have chosen some families through the Operation Olive Branch to donate to and to help and various other charities that we are donating to. And we wanted to link all of those below and encourage all of you to donate with us. I feel like I have discussed at length

how I don't think that the canceled podcast is a news source and no one needs to get their political news from Tana Mongeau, right? But I feel like with everything that's happening in the world right now, it is no longer about politics. It is about genocide. And so many innocent people are dying and And it is so fucking heartbreaking being able to sit here and lead our normal lives where our friends and family are safe and we are fed and the lights are on, knowing that on the other side of the world, it is the polar opposite of that. And innocent children are dying. And it just it feels so dystopian to not say anything and to just podcast as if everything was fine and we just wanted to let you guys know that we are donating and we

encourage you to do the same thing if even one percent of the millions of people that listen to the canceled podcast every single week donated even a dollar we could help so many people in need and if you can't donate but you can share this or use the resources below to educate yourself on what is going on and be talking about it or anything like that we are able to make some sort of change and I think that that is really important right now we really really love you guys, and we appreciate you hearing us on that. And we encourage anyone who can, like I said, to donate with us or simply just share or continue talking about what's happening.

But everything is linked below. All proceeds from this episode are getting donated, and we will continue to donate and talk about this until there is a change that's made. Thank you guys for listening. Hello, and welcome back to the canceled podcast if i'm giving like palsy it's because i just got my face absolutely filled to the gods like you could hit me with a supreme

brick right now and it would like bounce off that's hilarious you look amazing but tana was telling me she got her jaw botoxed and i told her i can't believe you don't remember this but i was with you when i figured it out when i got jaw botox and i'm after this i feel like you're always going through something like that it's i know it's not for me i had to give it up and i'm really sad because it really did my well also people started Posting that photo Of that spider And saying I looked like her

What spider? Miss spider She's from some show Y'all know what I'm talking about But it's like This like really long Faced woman With like no jaw

And Oh my god I know what you're talking about Yeah And so it's like No more masseter Botox For Brooke Well I have TMJ So Oh you do Which I think stands you're talking about. Yeah. And so it's like no more Mazda or Botox for Brooke. Well, I have TMJ.

Oh, you do? Which I think stands for Tana Mongeau jaw. Chomp, chomp, chomp. So it kind of helps my TMJ. I don't know. Dude, one time I was on tour with Amari and I was sitting in like the kitchen of the tour bus, right? And I just got in my face filled like to the gods

and he threw my phone at me like across the bus and like my phone smacked me yeah and I see it that's the worst part my phone smacked me across the face so loud from across the bus like made this noise and it just like bounced off and like didn't hurt at all I had so much filler in my face that is so concerning although you look really amazing right now i look back at some photos of you and i and i'm like how did we not notice in the moment i i was putting filler where the sun didn't shine for a very long time obviously mine was like in combination too of like being swollen like drinking so much and then also like oh i was getting so i had the puffer fish pack for sure um but today i just got a little something i feel like tour gave me like crow's feet dude it took years or it what it took years off my life no it added

years i don't know it made me old as fuck i opened my camera every day and i'm like who is this woman and like the makeup every day my pores are giving mars crater like i'm just i'm gonna have to do some serious work on getting myself back but I started with juicing myself to the gods today that's good I've been trying to drink like water I literally looked like I've never had a sip of water before in life I don't think you ever have up and like I don't drink any water and I got I got a Stanley so maybe I'm just ripping it that's amazing and in my sleep I'm loving your water era for you. There were like a week on tour and you'd be like, I haven't had any water.

And I'm like, there's water in everything. I'm like, there's water in cheeseburgers. I don't know if it's because I smoke a lot. Just all the smoking makes me feel so thirsty all the time. So maybe that helps me. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I need to, though. It's like, I'll be like, why am I so low energy? And I feel like shit all the time. And I'm like, maybe because you haven't had a sip of water in a week. I don't know what it is. I love me some more, but that's like my only healthy, but that's my only healthy habit.

Literally ever. That's probably why your skin's so good. You're that will never, that's literally like the most, it just goes so far over my head. I don't know how you have perfect skin, dude. I really,

I really shouldn't. I don't right now. I don't know. That sounds like backhanded. I'm like, how the fuck how you have perfect skin dude i really i really shouldn't i don't right now i don't know that sounds like backhanded i'm like how the fuck do you have good skin no are you kidding me i sleep with makeup on like yeah in your makeup hot cheetos on your pillow and like you just wake up glowing i like i've now let myself look at sleeping in my makeup as like a reward like if i take off my makeup six nights a week on the seventh night like you can sleep in it girl and then like i just treat myself i would destroy but i wear a lot more makeup than you and you also wear like a thin no i do i wear so much makeup they know and if i slept with it it would be

so like it would destroy my entire bedroom it doesn't destroy my literally everything it's so gross but whatever and i drool have you ever like pulled away from a guy and they just have like your whole face imprinted on theirs and you're like oh fuck he's got my eyebrows on his on his forehead i'm like oh fuck not kidding i give mccall like a full beat sometimes i feel so bad i give his dick like contour he has like no that's hilarious or have you seen like when somebody gets in a car accident and they what and and like or like someone slams on the brakes and like they hit the seat in front of them those are my favorite memes ever though or like someone slams on the brakes and like they hit the seat in front of them those are my favorite memes ever though or like so fun where their whole face is like

imprinted on the back of the seat i just did that in cabo i was having sex on this boat and then i looked at the the pillowcase on the boat and it was like my whole beat you're having sex on the boat i don't know what it is it's just there's something so camp about i think i've realized in life my favorite place to have sex is a yacht that's a good one what is that what do they call that like the overseas club because it's like yeah you get to that literally that that's exactly on the pillow looked but um it's just like you get to see the ocean and it's like already rocking with you so you don't have to do as much you know what i mean i did that once and you were there oh my god and then you lost your phone right yeah i was such a whore where were we miami that's why i don't go back there yeah it's just no dark place so much i

forgot about that when it was oh my god oh my god that's such a crazy i think probably the last time i've ever hooked up with someone like i just met that's so fucking crazy i completely that was five years ago by the way literally 10 I just got back from Cabo. How was it? Tell me everything. It was really good. I mean. Sober Cabo.

You did it again. Birthdays, I think for everyone else, including me up until the last five months, have equaled hammered central. Okay. And I think something's just in the air and the water in Cabo that just you take it there you know what I mean so it was a lot of I felt like I was like in the middle of a lot of chaos and I definitely really clung to Miss Trevi like Trevi and I slayed Sober Queens and Makoa obviously he was perfect and we had a really good time it was really great but I did something that

I am not proud of on the way to Cabo. What did you do? I didn't relapse. And I came very close. And I will explain to you why in a second now. I didn't. My strength prevailed. However, it's so not funny. And I can't stress this enough.

It is so not funny. What did you do? I'm on the edge of my seat. Can I go full 2016 Tanaana mojo story time on you right now i would love nothing more than that actually i want live live and in action like this could be told to you in two sentences but like i i can't no i'm buckling in okay i've been watching an old tana mojo story times on purpose shit's so fun you're so interesting i was just saying shit you're so good at it it was just i don't know okay hear me out so obviously we go on tour we slay our life this is how far back i'm

going okay okay we slay our life right you're very tired after tour i'm fucking exhausted okay our final day was in chicago we wake up we have a day in chicago and then we fly back from chicago which obviously just didn't help that it was like a six-hour flight okay and I don't know what it is but I felt like I was flying from fucking Australia Brooke okay I'm pacing the aisles of the plane like a dad like my bones hurt so bad I was literally getting up and like pacing like a fucking 50 year old father at 25. Like it was the longest flight of my life. I'm counting by the minutes. I'm so exhausted.

I can't sleep. Restlessness. Awful, awful, awful, awful. Horrible flight. Bad flight. Bad, bad flight. And so I finally get home and I'm like, fuck yeah, right? I promised Bella, Miss Bella Thorne,

that I would be in that Amphar commercial for her. And it happened to fall on the following day after that. And I already hadn't slept in like fucking 10 days. And I'm like, now, of course, I have to get up at 7 a.m. and fucking beat my face and go do my favorite thing in the world, act all day, right? And just fucking, it was 100 degrees on the set. Like it was just draining, very draining.

But an amazing thing to be a part of. And like, i'm grateful but i'm just saying like battery on absolute zero right and then of course ty collins is like i want to do cabo for my birthday and i understand in every level the champagne problem of saying oh i know when you go to cabo end it all tana like shut up okay you know what i mean like right go to cabo it's amazing duh but like i'm just so exhausted. You can only fly to Cabo in the morning. There's only flights in the morning. Right. And so I'm like optimistic with it. I'm like, listen, I just want to get there. Right. And so we were going to take an 8 a.m. flight. Okay. Which means I have to get

up at 6 a.m. or like 830, something like that. don't know early ass flight right i stay up late packing i get like three hours of sleep i get up i've never been so tired in my life like i'm livid fucking livid exhausted bones hurt want to cry right but i still allocate for enough time to get to the airport to make this flight right and here's the thing okay i understand that flying to cabo is a fucking international flight but like it's right there yeah it's right there it's like what is it an hour it doesn't feel like an international flight to me but it is it is so we show up to the airport and let's say our flight's at like eight o'clock right we get there at like 6 30 or something like that and the bag cut off for delta is normally 45 minutes before

a flight you can drop your bag i know that i die by it i live by. I have made it by the minute a thousand times. For a domestic flight? Unbeknownst to me, Brooke, for an international flight, it's an hour. It's an hour cut off. And we are there. I'm not even kidding. We show up to the airport out like an hour and one minute before the flight. Oh, God. And it's like, come the fuck on, Delta. You know they could have gotten it out.

If you can get you on the flight, they can get the bag on the flight. And it was just one of those situations where the airport is not that crowded. And like, I've had people at airlines a million times be like, just this once, we'll give you the five minute grace and take the bag. Like, I know it's not a be all end all rule that they die upon.

It depends on the worker that you come into contact with that day. And if they're in the mood, right? And so they're like fuck no you've missed this flight and i'm like i'm just so upset because it's like i have plenty of time to make this like you just won't take my fucking bag and like had i just had a carry-on bag like did you need the 37 sarongs for the three-day trip yeah weren't you only there for like three days and i brought i brought enough to move there

okay and i'm just i'm livid at myself and like pages live it at me because you know i wanted five more minutes of sleep and like there we are with the five more minutes fucking shoved up our ass in the airport right okay and they just yeah and you know what sometimes you just have to well never mind be early be prepared no i was gonna say this has to happen to you like once every at least like 10 times I bring you back home I actually I fully can see that now but in that moment I wanted everyone at Delta Airlines on a steak like a hog with an apple in their mouth okay I'm livid right and I'm just full cunt mode like poor Makokoa i'm livid oh i know i know the times i'm and i'm at the point right then and there where i'm like dude ty's mad at me i'm going home like

i'm looking at ubers from lax back home like i just give up right but like it's his birthday and he wants us there so bad and whatever right so it's like 8 8 a.m. Right. Next flight out. Noon. Oh, man. Noon. Different airline. Oh, no. And normal Tana would have loved that because that's fucking four hours to drink in the airport.

Yeah, but she doesn't get to do that. So now she's just back inside. And I'm exhausted. Like, imagine just like, why wouldn't you just take that flight to begin with? You fucking dumbassass Like the amount of I'm just I'm mad at myself I'm mad at the world

I'm mad at whatever Now I have to walk From terminal one To terminal five At LAX Okay Let me just garner I need to stop saying garner

Like what the fuck Does it mean The only garner I know Is Jennifer Garner Just FYI There's a shuttle You like can garner wages What

Just FYI There's a shuttle Fuck you and the shuttle Oscar I didn't know. I didn't take it. I didn't whatever. I get about 5,000 steps under my fucking belt, OK? Covered in sweat, I get to the JetBlue terminal, right?

We check into this flight, OK? And everyone's just like, ****. And the thing is, is I'm so patient with TSA being a ****. But it's just like, I'm livid. And it's just like- Yeah, it's like when it rains, it pours. When you're already pissed, it's like, how dare you speak to's just like, I'm livid. And like, it's just like, it's like when it rains, it pours when you're already pissed. It's like you, how dare you speak? I'm livid. And like, obviously, you know, to like every TSA situation is just different. Like sometimes it's like shoes on like different terminals to LAX, different like hat on sometimes this, that, and the other,

I get to TSA, I have a hat on and I'm like asking the lady I'm like do I take my hat off and she's like shoes belt like just yelling the like rules back at me I'm like do I take my hat off and she's like shoes belt laptop I'm like okay but what about my hat she's like shoes belt laptop I'm like okay what about my hat she's like shoes belt laptop and I'm like I turned to Paige I'm like am I speaking a fucking different language like do I keep my hat like she won't answer me and I'm just like and you know how i get and i have this thing okay and this i don't care how fucked up this is i'm telling you it is my truth and this it is especially applicable to me in airport scenarios that is where i created

this oh is this is it your thing that you do it's not something i do it's something i live by oh okay if it's a flat or a squeal a wobble peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get it from our tread experts. Until May 30th, purchase four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires and receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard. Conditions apply. Details at Michelin.ca. Find a Michelin tread experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations.

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The pros at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there. Helping you with Michelin tires you can trust. Until May 30th, receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard with purchase of four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca

I call this the three-person rule. Oh, I remember this. Okay, first person to be rude as fuck, whatever. All right, they were rude as fuck. This was a coincidence, whatever. Second person, fuck you, fuck this, fuck the universe, fuck everyone, whatever. But like, I need to have a little more patience, right?

Third person. Gets the wrath. Of the first and second person, I don't care. All combined. Like, it's like like third time is the charm you know what i mean so now i'm on i'm on two people like this lady's being a fucking i don't know about my hat i'm fucking livid i'm like whatever i get through tsa right take your fucking hat off tana like i took the hat off but it was it would have been nice to have some clarity

okay yeah it would have been nice to have some fucking clarity we get through tsa and now we are in the jet blue terminal which is arguably the worst terminal in my opinion in lax okay i think that they put a lemonade restaurant in there and they said we're done with the place we are there's we're not doing anything that's never open by the way it's and it's just and it's nasty and it's just i don't know i i just the other restaurants vibes are just so not me you know there's no lounge. What kind of restaurant doesn't have a you vibe? Like what, can you describe that? Just, no.

Oh, okay, perfect. Like the JetBlue, there's only a coffee bean. It's just like, and then the only store that they have is like a rip curl. It's like why, like we need board shorts. Like it's just like. Well, you're going to Cabo. But it's just like everyone else in the JetBlue terminal is not okay. And I just, I think it, I think it's like why like we need board shorts like it's you're going to cabo but it's just like everyone else in the jet blue terminal is not okay and i just i think it i think it's the worst

terminal and so we get there and i'm like oh i'm here for the next five hours right and so we post up at this restaurant okay and i'm not gonna go wine tour i'm not gonna say which restaurant okay but we post up at this restaurant dinky little eatery okay dinky little fucking eatery like everything's a little dirty and here i just want to say this okay i think that a lot of social etiquette that should be practiced in the rest of the world goes to shit the second you are in the airport okay people are laid up on the floor people are spread eagle on the floor people are spread eagle on the floor people are hammered at 5 a.m i'm not prepared for what you're gonna tell me you did in this are throwing shit no no what i did is not even bad and we will get into it okay but i'm just

saying i think that so much so like all social etiquette and time construct and all that bullshit kind of goes to the side a little bit at the airport okay a little bit more slides okay yeah so we get to this restaurant right and i just i cannot express to you enough my level of exhaustion all right and just my bones in your feet and we are just in this dinky little dirty little you know dinky is my favorite word well dinky ass Well, dinky ass eatery. Okay. Right. And we sit down at our lunchroom table, okay? Me, Paige, and Makoa, right? And I'm like, I'm about to be parked here for the next five hours.

I would do anything in the world for just a shot or two and I can't. Like, everything hurts. I have nowhere to, like, I can't fall asleep. Like, I'm just, I'm so upset to be in this situation, right? And as you know, I have some back and some neck aches. OK.

And sometimes that results in me in quite the weird positioning. OK. Sometimes I'm sitting a little sprawled. I'm sitting a little stretched because it's the only way to find a bit of comfort. OK. How are you positioned? I'm sitting at this restaurant table. Right.

And listen, you might side you might side with not me, and that's okay, because I don't give a fuck. You can almost guarantee I'm never going to. This is the table, right? Like, as if, like, you and I are sitting across from each other, and here's the table. I put my, like, this. Like, this part of my leg is on the table okay where's the

rest of the table like this is the corner of the table yeah so you're that whole bottom half of your leg is on the table no no like hanging off like this is the only thing touching the table were your shoes on i my shoes were on i had a portion of my upper calf that was clothed touching the corner of this table okay mind you this stained table mind you someone is sleeping at another table a couple inches over right right and so we order our food our waitress is a lovely woman she's so nice she's serving us we're hooting and hollering right and from across the restaurant comes another waitress right she comes and walks over she sounds like a whore and such a fucking whore but i'm wrong she comes over and she's like can you please take your foot off the table okay and first of all in my head i'm just enraged by this. This is number three, by the way. This is exactly.

And it's like my foot is not on the table. All right. Your knee. The back of my upper calf is on the table. That is the only thing that is on this table. OK, and this is the only position I've sat in for hours that has provided me any form of relief against my scoliosis and my demons. OK, like I finally found an ounce of comfort and like again someone is disabled someone is sprawled in rem inches from me like and the table's covered in

fucking crusted hot sauce like fuck you she comes over and she's like can you please get your foot off the table it takes everything in me you know not to be like my foot is not on the table ma'am like you know what i mean yeah and just like whatever and she's like can you please take your foot off the table right but like dirty ass look rude ass tone yeah there's just no way to say that without a tone oh her eyeshadow sucked okay and she's so i take my foot off the table right and i'm like i'm gonna be here for the night i take my upper calf off the table i'm gonna be here for the next fucking like five hours, right? So 40 minutes go by. I'm sitting there in so much back pain.

Like our waitress doesn't give a fuck. She was coming and serving me with me like that, like laughing, giggling. It was fine, right? Eventually, my upper calf slips back onto the table. I see how that could happen accidentally. Thanks, Brooke. Not five minutes go by and this lady beelines over to us. And's like you're waiting other tables like what the fuck like and why do you feel so passionate about this isn't your

restaurant or tattletale of the class you know what i mean where it's like just mind your own fucking business it's just like i just don't and like i'm just seeing all the other people around us and all the kids and all the. It's just like, why? And this isn't your restaurant. Why do you give a fuck? And it's like, again, we're in the middle of LAX. And it's like, dude, it's just like, dude, like, come on, dude, come on. Right?

She walks over to me. And she says, if you don't get your foot off the table, I'm going to have to kick you out of this restaurant. What'd you say? Then I get a little frustrated okay because I'm like I have nowhere else to go either you know what I mean it's just like this I mean I'm trying to eat my burrito like I'm just I'm on a like what do you mean you're gonna kick me out of the restaurant and so I hit one of these I hit a little hand circle and I say my foot isn't on the table right I mean my foot wasn't on the table okay and. And she's like, if you don't like move, I'm going to have to.

And she's just like she gets down to my level, like like like I just her demeanor was so fucking rude about it. And she's loud as fuck. And it's just like I remove my foot. But now I'm sitting there, Brooke, and the third person is third person to me. Good, good and well. Yes, you have to get her back. I'm fucking livid. I really am. And just sitting up in this position is genuinely hurting my back so bad. So it's just a constant reminder of the fact that I could be sitting in a way that would be a little bit more comfortable. And again, someone is in downward facing dog at 35 B right now.

Like, it's just like, come on, bro. You know, it's just like. And so she just keeps staring at me, like mad dogging me. And I decide that this is now war. And so I decide that for the next four hours, my eyes are not going to look at anything else other than this woman. Of course, obviously. But it's bad.

It's really bad. And it's really scary. And it's really crazy. The way that I was doing this, just like. And like head spinning on a rotator fucking cuff. Okay. Like she's waiting tables. And I'm just like.

Scanning her. Rotator cuff was crazy. And like this is the first time Makoa has ever seen me like break in that way. Like in the scary, scary scary breaky like scary scary like like tana's not here anymore motherfucker yeah like you're a you know like he's never he's never seen that this is his first rodeo and i'm just i'm on a whole tangent because i'm like i want this woman to come over here like i'm i will not rest until she comes over here and she genuinely explains to me the difference between my clothed

forearm on this table and my clothed upper calf i agree and what is what is the genuine difference like between a forearm and an upper calf in lax in sweatpants clothes any other restaurant i would be like you are so wrong but you are at lax and it's just like dingy restaurant okay like i'm just and i i just cannot grasp the difference between genuinely my forearm and my calf my foot was not on the table I was not sprawled it was just like a comfy little position corner of the table helping me out right and now she's just dirty looking me dirty looking and I'm just I'm I'm building I'm snowballing I'm snowballing right and so I'm still I'm just staring her down about an hour and a half has gone by right and she comes over to me and she goes she gets down on my level and she goes do you have a problem because I'm snowballing right and so I'm still I'm just staring her down about an hour and a half has gone by right and she comes over to me and she goes she gets down on my level and she goes do you have a

problem because I'm staring at her and I'm like oh my god no should I have a problem this is the moment oh that must have been so exciting were you like literally was your soul on fire no I just looked at her and I was like can you explain to me the difference between an upper calf and a forearm and then she just like walked away right and she's like rolling her eyes and walking away and whatever and i'm like oh this fucking i'm like you just want the smoke i don't understand so bad like what does this what does this restaurant mean to you what does this interaction mean to you like what does this situation mean to you so much that you're like where do you get off it's just so like you know she probably went in to work that day with

like that intent like you take your dog So seriously And she just like Wanted Wanted violence But it's like What about the couple Like giving water birth At the table next to us

You know I just like I don't I really think You should have started Like completely snitching On everybody No I

At one point I was like There were like kids Throwing shit next to us And I'm like so livid Like trying to like Point And Paige was like Tana you're You're beefing with a six-year-old right now like you need to fucking dial it back like it's gonna be okay whatever we continue with this stare down for like two more hours and it's like mccall was like give it up tana like i haven't touched my food i

haven't looked at my phone like and it's been hours like i genuinely i've just had on a swivel like just i can't stop i like and you know when you're just thinking of everything you could have said and wanted to say and like i'm just building in my head i'm living i've built up all this anger and aggression my back hurts so bad and had i been sitting the way i wanted i would just everything would have been okay whatever we're leaving the restaurant and this is where i'm nervous i don't even want to admit this should you you remember what happened with the wine tour i know i know i know it's it's not that it's not it's not that that i'm passing by her and she she's giving me a very dirty look. And I hit her.

I know that these are going to be our final moments together, her and I, you know what I mean? And I decide that the best possible outcome would be if I were to bark at her. Like a dog. Like a dog. Can you demonstrate to me how you did it? So she's staring at me and i pass her and i just it was it was something slight okay i just hit her with a

little i would have you admitted i would be worried about your sanity after that like that's a really you had so it's such an opportunity there to hit her with a like shove it up your ass or like something like mean and and spiteful but instead you bark i barked i barked at this woman in the middle of lax i guess it's kind of like she does not deserve words she threatened to call airport police on me oh piss off she threatened to call airport police and say what this woman this nice lady was barking mind you i'm in a bubblegum pink sweatsuit head to toe barking at this woman. But what could she possibly like?

Is it is it a crime to bark? It's probably best that you barked instead of telling her anything horrible or yelling profanities. I just I just really think there is something to be said about the low point that is barking at a woman in the middle of LAX. No, but it probably was really like cathartic. It just it was what I felt. I genuinely I just I felt like I had to bark at her but I'm just in my 25 years I've never once been threatened to have airport police called on me and I just didn't think that this week was gonna be the day and like I didn't hear her at first like she said something and I was just walking and I was like oh my god like she just threatened to call the police the airport police on me. That it's just she's just too goody two-shoes honestly she probably needs a perk or

two i barked at a woman in the middle of lax and she threatened to call the police on me that's really all i know i don't think i was expecting to think you were more in the wrong in that story than i do i really like the airport of it all made it all okay to me because a normal restaurant you know how i am i'll be like tana you cannot wear sweatpants to a restaurant you cannot have your feet on the table at a restaurant but at a boof ass little diner in the midst of lax i fear there are no rules except for maybe don't be naked that's not a rule and fuck you you know what i mean like it just and it just i just i couldn't i just what difference did it make in her life? And was anybody offended?

It'd be one thing if somebody next to you was like celebrating their anniversary and they were like, this bitch has her leg on the table and it's disrupting my experience. But you were not disrupting anybody. You were minding your own business and alleviating your scoliosis. And I think that you should be awarded financial compensation. I just, I don't think I had to bark at her. It's just,

and I definitely like i once i got on the plane i was like this is so one of those cases of me like letting a bunch of little things anger me and then like the like the final boss like it did like i didn't need like you should have seen me for four hours just like this like it like you didn't need to do all that i scared the fuck out of makoa On the way back from Cabo too And he was so good about it Like you know him He was just like

Everything's going swimmingly Like just being like sarcastic Joking you know On the way back from Cabo I'd like slept I'm skipping through the airport I'm like giggling He's like we're doing so good

With our airport demeanor today I'm like damn You're dating split Like Yeah I get that though No shame If it's a flat or a squeal A wobble or peel

Your dread's worn down Or you need a new wheel Wherever you go Yeah, I get that though. No shame. Kills at michelin.ca. Find a Michelin Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca. You can't rely on blind faith to get the pregnancy support you deserve. Ritual's Essential Prenatal Multivitamin is the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential Prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been

evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I just, I felt a little scary, scary, and I haven't, I've never barked at a woman in LAX. I'm going to use it though. I think you've given me an idea. That's like something I've never explored before, like barking at somebody. I don't know if I'm a good barker, but hilarious. It's just like, that was, I had no words anymore. I had too many words. We weren't going to have a sit down conversation, her and I, she couldn't explain to me the difference between forearm and calf. It felt to me like the right response was to bark.

Honestly, I have trouble regulating my emotions in that kind of scenario. I actually do think I would have hit her. You know, you wouldn't expect me to be the violent one, but I kind of am sometimes. I know I was, I said like to Paige, I was like, I wish Brooke was here.

Like Brooke would have killed that woman. But at the off chance that like you just hated that, you would have been so mad at me. I don't know which one would have happened. No, it depends. I think I really would have sided with you in that the off chance that like you just hated that we you would have been so mad at me i don't know which one would have happened it depends i think i really would have sided with you in that moment just because it's like oh i hate when someone's just fucking out like outwardly rude for no fucking reason like just out of nowhere you know what i mean it's one thing if like like i've done something like actually wrong and then somebody like responds accordingly but if you if i'm like if i smile at somebody at the airport or something and they give

me like any kind of attitude, I will fight you. Yeah. I just, for me, everything is about like role reversal. And like, if I saw like a tired ass person at the airport. Yeah. Like at the airport, like just being comfortable. How does she know you're not going? Well, it's, it just, I, it just really was one of those situations where I just know

that I wasn't harming anything and that I was fitting The demeanor of The situation Accordingly Yeah you were matching The vibes And it was just like You're You're not

You're not even Like my fucking waitress Yeah that's another thing You're not even In her fucking section That is so embarrassing For her Like first of all

Mind your own business Tend to your tables She's probably a horrible Service worker I just think that Which is very rare I love all of them I loved my waitress She was amazing I just I don't know if I needed she's probably a horrible service worker i just think that which is very rare i love all of i

loved my waitress she was amazing i just i don't know if i needed you should write a yelp review about her and say that she spit on you i'm just joking but i fear that me barking was my big one and that i hope that within the next year or so i won't be barking at anyone else ever have you ever written a bad yelp review about somebody no but I know you have oh 100 that's my shit okay because I am somebody who like really really respects like restaurant etiquette and stuff because I've worked in so many restaurants so if I have a bad experience in like a restaurant I know I am not the problem okay I know I'm not and I've had some okay so I've done my big one on yelp I prefer fade on many a restaurant I know I am not the problem Okay I know I'm not And I've had some Okay

So I've done my big one On Yelp I prefer fade on site Many a times I prefer barking No because Yelp is actually Like that actually All managers and stuff

Have to look at the Yelp Constantly It's like a real Consequence You know what I mean Like Really Yeah

Restaurants have to like Pay to get Yelp reviews Deleted and shit It's like crazy Oh I didn't know that Well that's I guess in this situation It's like no to like Pay to get Yelp reviews Deleted and shit It's like crazy Oh I didn't know that Well that's I guess in this situation It's like no one's looking

At the Yelp reviews Of this LAX diner No not at all But her manager might be And maybe other people Have had bad experiences With her Maybe that was gonna be

The straw that broke The camel's back She was just so mean It was just so mean Spirited At the way everything Was handled Maybe she

You have to assume That she's miserable And she was having A she you have to assume that she's miserable and she was having a worse day than you i guess that's really true but it's just we could have come together we could have been friends i could have taught her how to blend her crease that's so fucking hilarious i could have taught her how to do her makeup well like at one point there was another lady working who like kind of looked like her and i like lost count of them and i was giving the dirty look to like the wrong waitress for like an hour and just again head on a swivel like it was just i was really scary i was really really scary and i'm glad you got all that energy out was it got fine once you got to cabo yeah everything was fine

honestly and it was fun it was very old tana of me I think Sometimes you gotta just Throw it back a bit Yeah It was giving her Except this time I chose to bark That's my fave What else is going on? Hayley and Justin are having a baby I'm shocked

I'm so excited I've never been more excited about anything I'm so happy for her And I God You know that that should be me, have the most dreams it's ever had on the day they announced it.

That's so hilarious. But honestly, I'm really, really thrilled with, I've never used thrilled in a sentence. I am really pleasantly surprised at how well it has been received and how nobody's been like horrible to her about it. Not that any, like, I guess I host soon people are better than that.

She gets so much hate. She gets so much hate for everything That she does and especially like Obviously Selena fans I was worried for Her like the day that she got pregnant And I think that's why she put it off For so long because it's like god she Just already is like probably like the

Most hated or like most like publicly Hated person on the internet was which Is crazy because I think she's an angel Yeah it is so crazy I'm just I'm so Happy for them I hope it's a boy like Do you think it's a boy i for some reason think it's a girl i know and i like a baby is a blessing obviously no matter what i think it's a girl because of i saw a video of her pulling a little pink pacifier out of her pocket really yeah that's cute i just want it to be a boy because i'm hoping that baby no but imagine justin being like a girl dad yeah

that is so cute it is okay hayley's gonna be the best mom she's a sweetheart i feel like she just is so misunderstood do you think that we're the number one pop culture news source like like you heard it here first like we were giving easter eggs well we were just speculating do you know how cool i felt that kifa came on our podcast and said like kendrick lamar is gonna put his foot in everyone's ass yeah and i don't think people understood like at the time kifa is like huge in like the hip-hop space i met him when i first moved to la but he like in the past five years has become like one of the biggest like in our in the rap game yeah yeah so he knew like and when he was saying that it was like i was thinking he was like speculating no he knew he knew what was coming. Yeah, which is kind of crazy.

So like we're just like so credible and ahead of the times. Yeah. You heard it here first. Yep. Oh, I had a boob job consultation and I have scheduled my surgery. You're about to titty it up. I am about to titty it up. Are you worried about losing all feeling in your nips?

No, because he reassured me there's like three different like incisions that you can do you can do under the boob which is like most common obviously armpit which is like a newer one and then nipple okay and i was very specific when choosing a doctor i had to be somebody who does it through the nipple okay because the my favorite boob job is lila's boob job and she has it through the nipple. It looks so good. And it looks like, obviously, her boobs are far from natural. But they look amazing. You know what I mean? Like, there's no scars.

They look like it looks like she didn't have them. Historically, through the nipple has always been, I think, the biggest slay. It just looks the best. I wanted that so badly. So that's what I'm going to do. And that is you're least likely, randomly, to lose feeling in your nipple from that. You're way more likely to lose feeling in your nipple from your armpit. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have feeling in my nipples.

I swear that it guides me through life. Really? I don't actually have, they, they told me that they were worried or they didn't want me to worry about that. And I'm like, I don't even think I really have any feeling that much in my nipple.

I'm loving this. Like, no, seriously. Like I'm like, but I went in, I chose my, chose my well i chose like the type first of all there's obviously like they have like all the different kinds of implants and you hold like a chipotle ball yeah but uh holly madison actually messaged me after she saw the last episode and

she was like listen like these are the brands that you avoid these are the brands that don't give you breast implant illness like and she told me beforehand so that i knew like what to ask for when i went in there and like more specifically what not to get and so i went in there i told him i don't want these and then he showed me the ones he thinks i should get they're a moderate profile okay which means high profiles like the ones that like you can really see up here i I'm loving the side profile of your titty. Well, no, it's like how much it's, like how in your face it is, I think, is like the vibes. And so I did moderate profile.

I'm doing like really small. I think they're like 300 CCs. You're saying I'm doing like as in like it's booked. Oh, it's booked. It's booked. What date is it booked for, Brooke? What date is it booked for brooke the bronco all right listen to me everybody i'm really excited about this surgery all right i'm going to dr daniel barrett in beverly hills and he is world renowned okay

he is a really uh in demand doctor you will. So he's booked and busy. All right. So my two options for dates within the next few months were June 6th, which I'm already committed to something for that, those dates. Um, and June 19th. listen listen to me i think that this could turn over a whole new leaf you miss my birthday i and i'm mad chill about it you know because i'm mad chill i know i don't know if i'm mad chill about missing your birthday like you it's not the same thing as you missing my birthday i'm missing a trip to turks or something like i don't want to miss that shit but i'm just saying at the off chance that you did you know then this year when i'm cutting the turkey and you're trying to guillotine me well here's the joke everybody i called tana as soon as i found out which she could she's like what

what do you feel about moving your birthday that's which she's like, what do you feel about moving your birthday? That's the joke. What do you feel about moving your birthday? That's the fucking funniest thing you've ever fucking said, because she says, are you fucking kidding me? You're going to ask me to move my birthday and go, oh, it's almost as though you've asked me to move my birthday the past six years in a row. You've asked me to move just move my birthday i'm asking you to just make your birthday a little earlier so that i celebrate you earlier so that i can go get some titties and not have to be down i'm not i'm not against that because i don't have anything planned

yet honestly however i just want you to know if you were to miss it and we were to celebrate it a later date i would be elated i also could could show up to Turks with some like rock hard brand new tits that I can't put underwater. I love that it's just Turks forever now. Oh. I don't know. We're not going there. Oh.

Well, I'm really excited and I think it's going to be amazing. I showed him some pictures. I don't want anything really big or crazy. I literally just want to get back like a little bit of volume. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I feel like your boobs are going to be the new Murphy. Like, you you know what i mean as soon as i got my tits back my whole personality i'm gonna be shy i'm gonna be skipping down the street it's gonna be everything i really

feel like that's so shameful but i did lose like a part of my identity i am not kidding yeah and i don't care who thinks that that's vain or whatever i it was such a part of me that was my number one attention source my entire life and it's the only thing I had for so long and then I lost it listen now I could tie them in a knot I've always been the one to say that if you want something like go get it you know what I mean if it's gonna make you feel better go get it you know and I'm just nervous like you can't work out for a while and I just now got in this routine I'm like oh shit no but it's gonna be so fun another major major issue my doctor's so hot that happened with my nose job doctor like it's like

an actual concerning thing because i've seen him in videos i literally like found him on social media which is like just not you well he did my friends but he was just like he made like tiktoks and stuff but in person i was literally like he is so hot and so now i'm like he's gonna be slicing me open on a table like embarrassing or kind of hot i don't think so and you could wake up like well i couldn't date him anyway he sees too many tits in a day that's so true i would never want to date a plastic surgeon literally ever i think about like would you ever date like a gynecologist no because i think that men that want to be gynecologists scare me and i i don't care like i don't care i understand the adverse like side of what i'm saying like yes it's awesome but what if they're really

passionate about women's health why i don't know i guess i wouldn't want to be like a prostate examiner it's just well but no but that's fine that's camp yeah you know it goes along with the current the theme of our show which is as long as a woman's doing it it's fine yeah i just i think that it's like you want to be clamping open pusses like you're well i feel like usually people don't like seek that out i feel like it's like when they're in med school and stuff, they find what interests them the most. But as a straight man, that's what... No, yeah, no. I don't know.

My friend had a dad who was a gynecologist and he was such an amazing guy. And then she had to go to his office when she had chlamydia. That's the most traumatizing thing I've ever heard. Not his office, like somebody else. I just believe all men are bad. hope not i don't know my brain just makes me believe that no no man should be it have you had a pap smear what is the pap smear where they squeeze your boob on the table and maybe they make it flat don't clip this that is so humiliating no pap smear is like what you get

you're supposed to get One your first one I think when you turn 21 And it's like Just to make sure You're all good Good down here All good in the hood Yeah and you're

Definitely overdue But I don't know why I'm advocating for this So hard I too have never Had a pap smear Oh

Oh my god I feel so much better But I'm uninsured I was really embarrassed I'm uninsured And I'm gonna be Getting one any day now In fact

Dr. Daniel Barrett Do you wanna want to do my pap smear? What? Just what even happens, though? Like, can I just go get some tweezer men and a fucking three times magnifying? I'll do it. We could do it for each other. That's what I'm saying. The flashlight goes up all those settings like highest.

Have you ever had to do that? Like, I remember like, well, I probably shouldn't name names, but one of my friends recently I was I was having to like really do some examining and I was like, I think it's this. It was fun. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get it from our tread experts. Until May 30th, purchase four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires

and receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard. Conditions apply. Details at Michelin.ca. Find a Michelin TreadExperts dealer near you at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. You can't rely on blind faith to get the pregnancy support you deserve. Ritual's Essential Prenatal Multivitamin is the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential Prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

We're going to Hawaii. We are going to Hawaii. I sunburnt my asshole really bad in Cabo by accident. What if it peels? Well, here's the thing, dude. Or swells. I was only... Or smells? Swells.

I think your asshole already smells, honestly. You think my asshole smells? I know it does. I know. I think it smells like literal roses. It's so cute and cutie, cutie, cutie, sweetie. I laid my butt in the sun for like 30 minutes max with the UV index. Well, what were you? What were you?

Spread cheeks? No, but I was in like a thong bikini and I was arching. Oh. I was arching my back i'll tell you something i've done that in a tanning bed one time i like lifted my cheeks because i was trying to get the underside and i accidentally burnt the fuck out of my actual asshole skin do you remember when it was like trendy to to sun your asshole and you would see all these like health and wellness people like yeah remember when tyson did like a whole like six part instagram series about it and they would put a funnel in

their butt and go in the sun a funnel in their butt and go in the sun on their instagram do you know one time this guy um you know him and it's really funny but he he's married now but he asked me on a date right and great, like manager of the stars, like really like has a lot of money, like killing it kind of attractive loves God. Right. He asked me on this date and I'm like, Oh, he's not like, he's a little too good for me. Like whatever, like good to goodie, like two shoes. You know what I mean? But like, maybe I'll go like whatever. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. And then right before we were about to get dinner, this man was sunning his asshole with a funnel on his Instagram story.

Who is this? I don't know who that is. I know the name, though. That is really concerning. I will say that's a bit of a deal breaker for me. And I've put up with a lot of things. I don't give a fuck what the benefits are. As a straight man

you're gonna post a boomerang of a funnel in your ass my thing is I think I have to start with so like let's start with drinking water you know what I mean like I feel like it would be so extreme for me to put a funnel at my ass well I would have to take so many steps before then if I were really like actually concerned about my health like maybe stop with the bulldog what are the benefits like let me I just want to say hold on and how can they be but how many studies are there about that and if there are studies then why are we not focusing on um women's medication and or medications that you give to animals i just i can't even talk about it oh my god improved libido an increase in blood circulation better sleep and a longer healthier life i do not need an improved libido hashtag butthole sunning on instagram hold

on there's a hashtag yeah it's a community on instagram what's with the where's the where are the guidelines oh my god oh my god oh my god everyone take the time to go to this hashtag at some point in your life oh no it's so funny it's so funny no who else did that no someone else i know did that no no there has to be a simple no oh my god i'm so sorry for anyone can we retake that it's all these grown-ass men in the crazy why it all men? There's something to be said about that. And they're in the craziest positions. They're in the craziest positions. Wow. Oh, my God.

It's so awful. Oh, wow. It's exactly what I thought. Comment down below if you've ever sent your asshole and let me know if you saw any benefits, because I would like to know. Today's Mother's Day for those who don't know. can we just talk about i like to call it thursday dead fucking ass don't get me started it is so fucking funny to see all of these straight awful awful awful men posting like i'm so thankful to my mother who for making me the man i am

yeah honestly i'm gonna send her a message and say she's she fucked up um or like have you ever dated a guy and like you you know that i just die on the hill about this like the men who want to fuck their mother and then their mother's day posts are like borderline like it's like their girlfriend talk to a couple guys like that where it's like Yeah it's a little And I Of course I want like I want a good relationship With my kid If I have a son and stuff Like I really

I understand that No it's just that niche Like it's the niche category Of like You know Mommy wants them And they want mommy And it's like

Yeah or like no girl Will ever be good enough for you Yeah If they could breastfeed Like at 25 They would And it's so funny Seeing them post

But just Like the amount of men I saw today That like are cheating On their girlfriends Left and right Posting like A thank you to my mother

For making me the man I am Like does she even know The man you are And would she be disappointed If she did Change that navy blue Fitted sheet Yeah you've

Disgust me Brush your teeth Let's check out that sheet With a black light Do you remember Room Raiders Yes I would have loved that honestly you would have been toast i would i would be so toast right now my the state of my room honestly the state of my room right now too i'm just like really my life is in shambles let me tell you it's and when mikoa leaves i get my you know my favorite thing in the world is to sleep with my things. I love to sleep with my things. Like I think that I have a King Ben and it's like half

of the bed is for me. And then the other half is for my things. And I sleep so well knowing that my things are sleeping with me. And my things right now is a wax pen, some joints, a lighter, my purse, um, rainbow sour strips, sour punch straws. I've been sick, so Benadryl and Sudafed. And my laptop. And I just have all my things in my bed right now, and it's really bad. I chicken wrap as well, but I need to get rid of the chicken wrap.

Pro vibrator. Pro vibrator. I got it. I got it. I almost sent you a pic today and said, is this the one? It's so insane. I haven't actually used it since i was talking about it last it popped off on tiktok the really see you should start fucking views of you talking yeah i know i would say that like that would inspire me to want to make my own but like i could never make it better than that one like that's it's the best

one ever yeah i got it i was a little. I might not have gotten the same one. But you said black with gold. So I got the black with gold. I hope you got the same one. And. I'm confused. Because when you press the button. It doesn't automatically.

Just go on a constant speed. It automatically starts doing Morse code. Which I'm not into. You know that. I agree. Sometimes you have to kind of mess around with it. To get it out of there. Well I was like.

Pressy and pressy. I didn't get the chance to take it for a spin. I just turned it on. But. I'll. I'll. I'll. Immediately. You'll be the first the chance To take it for a spin I just turned it on But I'll I'll Immediately You'll be the first to know If it works out

I'm not kidding Remember when I had that Vibrator burst into flames I'll never forget this Yeah I My friend did a brand deal For it today And I had to slide up

On her story and say Get your bag But don't use that shit Mine literally caught fire That's Well it is just really crazy When you think about like what it is like. Because it's like a motor like I don't know what actually happened. It didn't like there were no like open flames, but it was smoking and it was like it was hot.

I couldn't touch it. It was so hot. It was like what is going on there? No, I could. I could have sued. Do you remember that McDonald's girl who burnt her vagina? She was like a sweet old lady. There's no way she burned her puss no she did it was like actual you should watch it if there's a whole documentary on it but it was actually so fucking horrible it was like this

extremely old lady so her skin was um like very like super thin like paper and they handed her coffee and she spilled it in her lap and it was it gave her such horrible burns her like pants were melted into her skin it was so so horrible and they she won the lawsuit obviously but yeah like why give boiling water and that's no it was like it was so it was so hot it was like i you'd how you have to like when you put the meat on the hot rocks oh my god when my mom was a baby she pulled a crock pot from or a deep fryer from the counter and her whole it was oil so you can't like wash it off so it burnt her whole body head to toe her diaper was melted into her skin and shit isn't that crazy

that's so awful i know that's so awful happy mother's day you can't rely on blind faith to get the pregnancy support you deserve rituals essential prerenatal Multivitamin is the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential Prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Did you know that many products for pregnant women do not have their own clinical trials for safety or efficacy? That's because pregnant women are often excluded from clinical studies.

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These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I just want to send all my love to anybody out there with mommy issues. After Brooke and I did the episode where we were talking about our mommy issues, I just feel like I met so many people who came up to me and told me how much that episode meant to them. Yeah, I got a lot of really nice messages about it too, which helps. Even today, obviously, I feel very lucky to really nice messages about it too, which helps. I just, even today, like, obviously I am,

finally I feel very lucky to be in a place with Debra. You know, like I got to send her a Mother's Day gift and talked to her on the phone and it was really awesome and she's the best. And she texted me like, thank you for choosing me as your mom. I would choose you in every lifetime. Like really cute. Like just, I was sobbing.

But even today I spent, I went to brunch with Kim and Kiki and Kim is like one of the best single moms I know like she is she is working every second of every day to provide for her daughter and Kiki is like turning out to be like the best kid in the world and just growing up so much and Kim's been so there for me as like a mom in so many ways and I got to like go out with her to brunch and then I went and saw Nune and at 7Q and mama Nune has given me so much advice and guidance on business. And she's just such a boss bitch that I look up to like today. I was asking her all these questions about like her life story.

And she came from Armenia, like by herself and moved out here with absolutely nothing and like left her whole family back behind. And like now has built a multimillion dollar business and just like jets jets around with the Kardashians and it was like all her doing it and it's like I'm trying to just flip the narrative on how I look at Mother's Day and it's like even if it is just loving and admiring and showing praise to the strong women in your life who have been a mother to you in certain things I think that's so important and also just even today like a lot of people I love were texting me like happy mother's day thanks for everything you've done for me and I think it's like

you got to look at yourself as like a strong fucking mother in so many ways and I just to anyone out there watching that finds holidays like today hard look in the mirror and fucking wish yourself a happy mother's day if you're doing it for someone who didn't step up and we love you so much. Yeah, I agree. I honestly, I've never, or at least in like the last few years, I have never really been sad on mother's day or anything like that because I

feel like I've had so many like positive, like, or just moms, mom figures, like whether it's like friends, moms and stuff like that. I have like friends, moms who I haven't even talked to in years who I still think of.

And I'm like, Oh, that was so nice what they did for me. Like, I think when you're in situations like ours, when you do get to meet a strong, awesome, amazing mother figure and they're in your life at any capacity, you value them so much more, obviously,

because it's like you're comparing to the opposite. Yeah. Well, it's just like, oh, God. It was just like, oh, my God. It's so inspiring to me Like other Strong awesome mothers And I don't know

I can't wait to be a mother Me too Dude noonay today Was on my ass She was like You have to have a baby No I don't think We're ready yet

But I would I know I'm not ready Like I know it's not time And honestly I'm like I'm not even in a place Where I think I should be dating But

I want a baby so bad What if I just fuck around And have a kid Please might do it I told my god honestly but could be fun though because you have so many people who would help you I would help you it'd be so fun but I just can't be pregnant that's the only problem but I think you would love being pregnant I think being pregnant is like the most amazing part I was literally saying like ectopic pregnancy might be like I don't want to say a dream that's like an awful sentence but I don't think don't think you understand what an ectopic pregnancy maybe i really don't you don't you're thinking a cryptic pregnancy that's what i'm thinking of ectopic pregnancy i'm pretty sure it's like when you get pregnant outside of where you're supposed to oh my god that's not what i

meant literally at all yeah and your baby like starts growing in like the wrong place oh my god and like your knee or something yeah oh my god no um cryptic is what i meant because i like yeah when you don't know you're pregnant The stress of being pregnant Would send me to oblivion I literally could never I would have my feet on the table At every restaurant

Yeah So you don't think you want to date No I think I'm Well okay So I signed up for BetterHelp again Good Alright Because

I was having I had a little realization Recently Okay I've been going through A little bit of an episode As you know I've been going through a little bit of an episode, as you know. I've been experiencing some symptoms, if you will. And I'm like trying to tie him to something.

And I'm like, oh, every single time. And whether it's like been like actual relationships or like situations or whatever it is, every time I have like a man in my life, all of a sudden I'm I'm having symptoms you know what I mean I start getting crazy and like super hyper emotional and like just like not behaving normally not only that but more importantly I cannot even think about myself and like I it's so I don't even really want to say how psycho I get about it but like I cannot like I cannot think about anything but a man when I have like a man in my life literally at all I can't how psycho I get about it but like I cannot like I cannot think about anything but a man when I have like a man in my life literally at all I can't like it I get what

you're saying like you're you're revolving your meals around if that guy likes about that I just have such like a like that's just I can't like I don't know how to explain it but like I can't I don't even think about me and if I do like anything like my own work all of that just like seems like such a nuisance because I'm like I'm just focused on them and it's like they don't even hardly know it I'm just like that's what all my thoughts are and it's not healthy it's not normal at all and I'm like I can't I don't think that anybody with that sort of vibe should be dating I love that sort of vibe well no really like I just feel like it's unhealthy and like recently obviously i'm i am experiencing the end a healthy a very nice healthy like mutual end to something yeah and i immediately

sorry one time no but like i'm not even kidding the instant it happened i'm like oh my god i've i am so excited about my own things and stuff. And I'm like, I realized such an immediate shift that it was like unsettling because I was like, that is crazy. Yeah. That I can like literally notice it. Like all of a sudden I'm like excited about things that I should be excited about. And like. Yeah.

And focusing on your own life without revolving it around like a man. I understand. Or like what he's doing or what he's thinking or like, is it working? Is it not working? Like I just, that's all I'm ever thinking about. Oh yeah. Like we're on tour and like I can't I'm not present like I'm literally not present oh there are times obviously and I like you know what I mean why I'm like Brooke like you know what I mean like fuck what this guy thinks of every little thing you're doing like you know what I mean and

I'm so excited for you I think just to be in a self-love like well I'm just healthiest I'm always when I'm when I'm no one in my life like that I everything about my life is better and I don't think I've ever been able to like a like really tie it to that because I'm not paying it close enough attention and realize like that that's what was doing it because it didn't feel like they were related but it is like because I don't i'm like i'm just not anxious i'm not like i just don't have any like personality disorder symptoms when i don't have a relationship yeah and like obviously it happens in friendships and stuff but not often and just more manageably you think yeah i just get like so crazy and it would be awesome to get to a point where like a man was

just like an addition to your already whole Yeah but it's not that way yeah like I can identify that and I know That and I don't think that I should be dating because no matter What it's all like I don't have enough Energy to put into it that and me Yeah at the moment yeah so then I'm The one who's always Left in the dust and I'm like I don't give a fuck about

What I'm doing I'm not I'm blowing off work I'm Like I'm just not doing Anything I should be doing because I'm focused on something present like I want you to do a show and not think like what would this guy think of how big this crowd I'm doing or what would it is I've told you this one time and it's like it is a concerning thought of mine but I've always I can't remember ever having not lived my life in third person like it's always like I'm living like through the perception of somebody else and obviously who it is changes but it's always like I'm living like through the perception of somebody else and obviously who it is changes. But it's always like, what is this person seeing?

And that's so scary and like demented and weird. And I know that that's I don't want you to like beat yourself up for it because it's like we're all products of our, you know, normal. So I'm like trying to get ahead of it or like at least like figure out what that is. Yeah, that's not it's always been that way. So I cannot remember time. It wasn't even when I was like little. Yeah. Like I've always been like, OK been that way. I cannot remember a time it wasn't. Even when I was like little. Yeah.

Like I've always been like okay well what is this person like. Everything I do is with another person in mind. I'm really proud of you though. Thank you. Like I'm really proud of you. I've been so good. We were supposed. I was going to bring this man to Hawaii.

And now it's going to be me and BB. Because even that I was so stressed for you. Because it's like we're going to Maui. Brooke and I decided we would take. I mean, Makoa has to go home. So I wanted to go to Maui, obviously. But like we were like, let's take some days there and just like relax. And, you know, we just did all this touring.

Like, let's go write these California shows by the beach. Like, let's go tan. Let's hang out. And then the weather might be really bad when we go. We don't know yet. Yeah. But I felt like you were so stressed about like this guy potentially going and like not enjoying his time because of the weather yeah well I mean

it was always like I planned it with intent for it to be him and I like that just it was that way yeah because we talked about it the whole time I was on tour and stuff and he was so helpful like he's he was like really good to me when I was like going through it on tour and stuff. So I was like, let's just go to Hawaii, lay on the beach for five days, whatever. But I knew that if the weather was horrible, I was going to be like so hyper aware of like whether or not he was having a good time the entire time. And it was making giving me so much anxiety. Yeah. And I'm like, let's finally I was like, I need to not be doing this anyway.

Yeah. And like, what am I doing running away on this romantic getaway with this man? I'm not I shouldn't still be seeing anyway and i'm just really proud of you and i think we're gonna like dance in the rain and have like so much fun i think so too and that but that's another thing i noticed right away that all of a sudden like the fact that i all of a sudden it doesn't matter anymore and everything's fine and i'm not like stressed at all i'm like it is really i can't believe how anxious i get about just guys like that's so stupid well I think that if you're aware of it and you're like actively navigating that that it's only gonna get better and I'm

really proud of you thank you really proud of you I'm not kidding that's so say thank you what else do we have going on single brook I got my belly button pierced was it my bb in your kitchen worse i did it okay i tried this by the way actually a couple weeks ago i was on my way to meet trisha at the madonna inn and i went into a smoke shop they had a belly button ring i tried to shove it through gave myself some well yeah so i've had my belly button pierced before i really bamboozled the fuck out of my sweet grandma she was a victim i you know i got my belly button pierced when i was on for my 13th birthday no for my 13th birthday and my grandma was so my bless her heart she was so funny she just wanted me to have like i could get her to do anything

and i was and i milked that shit and i would tell her i'm like she'd be like you're too young you're too young i'm like brooke she i'm like like, Nicole got hers for her 11th. Yeah. I'm like lying, crying. She took me and Nicole Bacon to go get our belly buttons pierced at 13. I was literally right there with you, though. Like, I was such a little slut. Because that's why you wanted it, right? For sure.

Well, I was just, I had all, like, I always had, like, older girlfriends and stuff. So I just wanted whatever they had. Yeah. And so I would just convince my grandma. But, like, I know that If she were aware Of like what That actually meant She wouldn't have

Let me do that Yeah I feel you Completely I always pulled over Pulled like fast ones On her So you repierced it You shoved it through

Yeah And now you're fine Yeah I can't get mine Through the other side I've tried so many times I'll tell you why Because

Okay so an earring Is like a Is a 20 gauge Like Pokey thing Okay Or sometimes 18 I'll tell you why because okay so an earring is like a is a 20 gauge like pokey thing okay eight or sometimes 18 okay a belly button ring is like 14 so it's like big way bigger girthier so I had to get a nose or there's a nose ring in my belly button right now because it's oh like it's a 16 thinner and sharper yes it's a 16 gauge so it's smaller than a belly normal belly button ring it's bigger than an earring but barely i want to go to brooks piercing shop brooks bro it was hard and i

almost passed out but it looks so cute and i love it i want to go to brooks piercing pagoda i could do it it's sterile not kidding i want one so bad i'm gonna eventually i'm gonna have to like gauge it back up to a regular belly button ring if i want to keep it but i think i don't probably can you show me yeah it's a little um it's a tiny but i wanted i wanted it to be a tiny little hoop because i saw sab um sab cassata is that her last name she had a tiny little hoop and i want to be her so bad and she has absolutely everything it's so hot and gorgeous you can't rely on blind faith to get the pregnancy support you deserve rituals essential prenatal multivitamin is the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial essential prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients including folateate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical.

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operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I watched Zendaya's movie last night. The Challenge? Challengers. Challengers? In theaters. You went to a movie in theaters last night

and you didn't tell me? Well, it was with... I don't care. I don't think you would've wanted to join the party. Yeah, you're right. I'm so surprised Zendaya decided to take this movie, right?

It's like a three-hour film. It was two hours, but it just felt so long. And the entire premise of the movie is like, Zendaya was playing tennis, and then she gets injured, and then she has two boyfriends, and she's cheating on one the whole time with the other, and then cheating on the other, and whatever, back and forth, and making them do some crazy sexual it was really

sexual really a really interesting movie people are saying it's like the greatest film ever and like i felt like it was like one of those movies that could have been four minutes like cheating tennis cheating tennis the end no ending i feel like there are some things that i can't even really appreciate because i'm not enough of like a film buff. That's the problem completely is I think it was like, but too cool and artsy for me. But I think the yearning man is finally back in. Like the whole film is like this man just kind of being her bitch. Right.

Yeah. And like back women being the one who make the rules. And there's this scene where she's looking at him and she just cheated on him with his best friend. And she's like, she tells him, like, if you lose this tennis match tomorrow, I'm leaving you. And they have like a kid together. They're fully married, like yada yada. And he's just sitting there like hand in her head, like his head in her hand while she's like stroking him. And I was like, oh, the yearning man is back.

It's so just it's so funny like years ago like all i wanted was like a fuck you asshole who didn't give a fuck if i lived or died and now it's like so like i'm so the opposite like i love love and i love how much like i love mcco and that's reciprocated to me and it's like i just love seeing the yearning man yeah i think you know that like you're saying unrequited love is out uh-huh i think we don't like guys who don't like us anymore i i just did it i haven't experienced that actually in like a really long time though like be obsessed with me or get out yeah maybe i haven't probably haven't had anyone obsessed with me in a while but i would not like it's been a long time since i would even entertain somebody who like really didn't like you. Yeah. Who I don't feel like respects me.

Yeah. Like any guy I've talked to in the past year, which is literally nobody respects me. We've grown so much since the beginning of this podcast in our views on our love lives and shit. I think so too. I actually saw Joe the other day. Really? Yeah.

I saw him at that special party I went to. You guys, I went to this party. It was called Beecher's madhouse and apparently it was like huge back in the day it was like jeff beecher is like this comedian and he used to throw this party and it was like iconic it was like everybody would go paris hilton and like nikki hilton made it cool and it's just like super exclusive but it's like it's a madhouse it's like the greatest showman like where every everybody's like has some kind of really strange it's like a circus so lots of little people lots of michael jackson impersonators

there's like oompa loompas on a zip line it was everything but it was such an interesting crowd like people you would never expect to be together and it was just so fun i wish you could have come it went on for three days that's crazy that the party went on for three days i know but it's because it was like they brought it back as a part of like the Netflix is a joke festival or whatever oh that's sick but it was so cool Scooter Braun was there I almost smacked him in the head it's so funny that Michael Jackson impersonators are like and like Elvis are like the winners like do you think that we'll ever have see a time where like Jojo Siwa impersonators are the new Michael Jackson impersonators In like 30 years

I resent the fact That you just compared Jojo Siwa to Michael Jackson No I did not compare Jojo Siwa to Michael Jackson I think you I think Jojo Siwa Is probably somewhere

Comparing Jojo Siwa To Michael Jackson For sure she is Like no But like I'm just saying You think we'll ever Have like a

Yeah for sure I think that there are People that we know Right now that we Don't understand Are going to be the Icons that they are Maybe going to be in years Like do you think we'll ever have like a yeah for sure I think that there are people that we know right now that we don't understand are going to be the icons that they are maybe going to be in years like do you think people in the moment thought Cher was going to be Cher or was it like she was like a Billie Eilish oh whoa I didn't even think about it like that I hope we have Trisha Paytas impersonators forever no I just want Trisha Paytas only that's true she's gonna

have it where's the baby? I know. The baby has to be born before this episode comes out. You think so? Elvis is here. So crazy how it's just like in you and then not. It fucks me up, dude. Like it really is crazy. Imagine that feeling or just like this was just inside of you.

Nara Smith gave birth like three days ago and she already has a six pack. I'm like, what the fuck she already has a six pack i'm like what the fuck but she's six feet tall i saw this video today that was like a time lapse of like a time lapse of people building an amusement park and it was like nara smith when her kids say they want to go to disneyland she's so funny i just love her i admire her so much because i can't like i have a suitcase that hasn't been unpacked for weeks. Yeah, she's. You know what I mean? Like, where is Nara?

I am like fully up to date on the Norris Smith shit. I couldn't decide if I thought she was in on the bit or not. But then I saw her make gum from scratch and I now think she's a genius. Well, it doesn't matter what the fuck it's for. She's making content like the rest of us. Her videos are all fucking five minutes long. She is getting tens of millions of views on every single video. She's making so much money.

It's stupid. I think that there's something just so to be said about the like harmless enraging formula. It is like it's it's not hurting anybody, but people are fucking furious about. Yeah, but it's all the people who don't want to make homemade gum. And it's like, OK, then don't. I don't think I've ever had anything homemade in my entire like no one in my family has ever made something from scratch in life i just i'll like walk in and like ashley schwann is making like like sourdough bread from scratch and i'm like i can't wait to eat she does like really

chef it up but like i'm buying the loaf every time. Like there's no like just the reward. Oh, there's a bird. There's a bird in our house. Brooke, I decided that my new bit is going to be saying back when I was in college with no context. Like, oh, yeah, I used to do that a lot back in college. That's hilarious. Like when I was in college. You had about as much of a college experience as i did that well no but like honestly like the influencer world is very similar to the college

like or at least my college experience which is like pretty toxic very like it's like very like clicky yeah it was i mean it's disguised like the sorority experience is like disguised as like something that's noble and like admirable when it's not really. You know what I mean? It's like it really is just you pay for your friends and it's kind of judgmental. It's one of those things where like I didn't do it, so I'll never get it. But like had I done it, I probably would have. But when you're in it, it's so it's not that they like brainwash you or anything, because

it is like the girls that you meet, like those are going are gonna be my friends forever but like the actual system of it all is very culty it's very like they convince you that this is like what you want and that this is the end all be all and these are your women for life and you have to commit your life to it yes it literally is you don't you would not believe the things like we were and we're not allowed to do it's really crazy that i like subscribed to that i couldn't drink in the house and i lived there for three years but you could show up drunk yeah you can show up blacked out and like every date dash has like sober sisters or whatever but like if you have a sip of alcohol in the house you're terminated on the spot but you definitely did 100 yeah well no i drank in my car in the

parking lot i'm loving your headband thank you i feel like you're giving jackie kennedy okay don't people say she eats like sheet metal yeah they don't mean that was one meme but i loved it because they also said that matt rife ate sheet metal do you know that when you ask someone to bark the bark that they choose i think says so much about i know i remember you called me and asked me to bark and i said i'm not barking for anybody can you bark no you that how degrading what do you mean can i bark i'll bark first ready don't you think that the bark i chose says so much about me oh my god i met a i met a dog the other day that's never barked before. His name was Beefcake.

But what if Beefcake was just lying to you? That's something I would do if I was a dog. I'd be like, I've never barked before. No. Yes, you have. It was the owner. He was like, I've had him for three years now and he's still never barked. Pay attention.

His name was Beefcake. Murphy didn't meow for six months. I was like, she doesn't meow. She doesn't know how. But they have to learn how and the dog just never bark from other cats i don't know about beefcake but i can't believe that you'll bark oscar will you bark isn't it kind of like see i should not i just shouldn't be surrounded by people who won't bark i'm not living my truth yeah Yeah. Let me off this God forsaken mic.

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