Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 86: PAIGE IS BEEFING WITH ANOTHER INFLUENCER… - Ep. 86

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

This episode of the Cancelled podcast we are joined by Paige again! We talk about influencer culture and AI relationships. Billy Eilish and Taylor Swift battle it out. Then We are joined by Trevi and ...reminisce on some stories of the past! Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code CANCELLED at https://LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod Curology: Visit https://CUROLOGY.com/CANCELLED for a special offer. Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A To listen to the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get it from Tread Experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at tread experts.ca slash locations. Until May 30th, purchase four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires and receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard. Conditions apply. Details at Michelin.ca.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Find a Michelin TreadExperts dealer near you at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca. Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. Add a little bass to the end. I'm like, uh-oh, back again. I'm so excited for today's episode. I have the giggles, I have the hoots, I'm ready to go. Me too, and I haven't seen you in a second.
Starting point is 00:01:18 I know! So I'm excited. It's like, it is euphoric when I don't see you for a minute and I see you. It's like better than any drug. I swear to God, it feels like a bump. Like, I haven't seen you for a minute and I see you. It's like better than any drug. I swear to God, it feels like a bump. Like I haven't seen you in five days and I swear to God. Allegedly. I haven't seen you in five days and I'm not kidding.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Last night I was in bed. Like it felt like Christmas. I felt like a kid. I was excited. Paige, in Hawaii, you and I were texting and I'm like in the, in the bathroom. So like texting you and I'm like getting so excited for your next text, like giggling. And I was like, this is embarrassing. I left my own body. I was like, I'm literally in the in the bathroom. So like texting you and I'm like getting so excited for your next text, like giggling. And I was like, this is embarrassing. I left my body.
Starting point is 00:01:49 I was like, I'm literally obsessed with you. I was kicking my feet, smiling at my phone. It's creepy. I'm keeping up with all your TikToks. Oh, yeah. I'm loving your TikToker era. I've always thought you should talk on TikTok. Thank you. Well, I've been doing funny captions, but I was nervous to do it for the longest time.
Starting point is 00:02:03 And we were in like Wisconsin or something. And Tana and I had like a whole conversation. She sat me sat me down and she was like dude you really have to start posting you do you're a waste of being fun hilarious thank you no well not a waste but like complete waste of space know about it no that was funny we were just high as i was like you this is your journey i was scared scared. Yeah, but it's true. It really is. I'm sure you're so funny. My kidneys are failing. I'm serious. Why do you think so? I don't like to get you up about this because it's like, give it a rest, dude.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Like I just, it's always something new, but I'm convinced this time. What are your symptoms? So as you know, I had a serious outbreak of GERD, right? GERD, GERD, G gird right gird gird gird gird is the word you know i don't think there are outbreaks like she got a rash do you have gird steven and see maybe we're in a gird epidemic dude gird is not contagious i'm girding it up dude prilosec otc that's my but i'm done talking about unless they sponsor me prilosec otc pay up mother what does gird entail like what are your symptoms what are your signs
Starting point is 00:03:12 it's essentially like really bad heartburn i had that in hawaii where it feels like you have like a tennis ball but i was having really bad heart pains and the gird can be the same symptoms of like a heart attack literally i thought it was like acid reflux a little bit nothing was like refluxing and acid but that's what gird feels like i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure that's the whole thing because it's gastroenteroreflux disorder or disease you ate with that acronym right there you really did i it felt like there was a vascular on my stomach wasn't real it just just whatever you know what i mean and so i fucking take this prilosec otc and it starts to go away right but then lately i've been having some fluid in my lungs and i know i'm popcorn lunging it up and emphysemaing it up always but this it's a different
Starting point is 00:03:56 fluid it's a different texture it feels like hair oil almost okay okay i'm sticking with you no and then i had a blood blister on my lip right and i know i just got also not kidney related and i know i just got filler but it was a lip they went up here the blood blisters like in the middle of my lip um and then i've been having extra like fatigue and kind of like weird depressive episodes that are unlike me like i've been crying so much i don't know what's wrong with me all these symptoms are symptoms of acute kidney failure we were on facetime and she told me she goes i think my kidneys are failing and then she kind of stopped herself she's like wait wait never mind i'm not gonna like put this on you right now and i go no
Starting point is 00:04:37 no you can't i go is your pee foamy she goes wait let me check she's pissing into the toilet sound like she was frying pork chops i don't know maybe get that checked out to be honest have you had any any like back pain or anything of the sorts i'll get like the occasional little back pain but obviously i'm scoliosis up my back major symptoms of kidney disease is the back pain is yeah but like a kidney infection even blood blister on your lip i'm just saying googled it it was like there has to be so many things that could be before and listen i'm not i'm not trying to discredit no i really hope my kidneys aren't failing i hope so too like imagine you know what i mean like we walk out on stage in like oakland california and i'm like, what's up Oakland? Blood's coming out my urethra.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Wait. Urethra Franklin. I'm so mad that you just took that from me. Sorry. Gotta be quicker than that. I know. I'm already panicked, dude. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Sorry. Honestly, I should go. Get me home. Please. Urethra Franklin's great. ban it dude fuck sorry honestly i should go give me hope please urethra franklin's great urethra it's urethra by the way wait speaking of like dying at show hold on hold on we don't even know what you're gonna say and i'm like speaking of um bad things that shows you have a pitch for me imagine my pitch was just
Starting point is 00:06:16 you were in the audience like abraham lincoln and i came and pretended to shoot you like John Willis Booth. I don't know. I can't breathe. I'm turning purple. I'm turning purple. I'm turning purple. I'm turning purple. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:35 I have asthma. We do have a vision for you. Oh, God. I know it's going to be so fucking offensive. Wait, although is this going to come out before we do the shows? No. Even if everyone knew we were going to do this, I don't think anyone would give a fuck. I know she's going to have me like learn how to ride a unicycle in 24 hours.
Starting point is 00:06:55 OK, for the viewer at home, Brooke and I have been writing this leg of California shows and each leg of the shows. We try to kind of switch it up do something different I'm not gonna like say what we want to do for the shows but we got into this conversation um when we were on tour last in somebody's boiler room okay we were talking about essentially it's just touring and your show can kind of be one of those things where it feels like you can almost never fully win. Like no matter what you fucking do on stage, there's going to be someone saying they didn't spill enough tea.
Starting point is 00:07:30 There's going to be someone saying something. You know what I mean? And so then I was kind of. Dancing around the idea of like over the top theatrics. Yeah, like like flipping that in their face and you and you were like, you should do random dancing like Carly. Like, what if we got the real Gibby? The real Gibby stand up. Why this?
Starting point is 00:07:53 I don't know. Reeling it back. Okay, yeah, yeah. Reeling it back. You're going to love this. But just to kind of do a bunch of over the top shit to be like oh our show wasn't enough check out this mariachi band right
Starting point is 00:08:08 and today we had the bright idea to bring out hear me out hear me out okay drum roll please to bring out the dancing lobsters absolutely absolutely
Starting point is 00:08:24 are you kidding me you're willing to be a lobster are you kidding lobsters. Absolutely! Absolutely! It could have gone one of two ways. You're willing to be a lobster? Are you kidding? You thought I would say no? I have been pitching for years. I have been pitching for every Halloween. I say, Tana, I want our whole friend group
Starting point is 00:08:40 to go as the Amanda show. I think I have heard you say that. Every year, every Halloween. Weren't you every lobster when we did the um powerpuff girls she was already a lobster yeah but it's like hot lobster yeah it's like the villain lobster i already ordered the lobster costumes did you that's why i told you not to look at my amazon actually now that i think about it maybe this is so degrading and i shouldn't no it's not we're doing it in like a way wait i'm not kidding imagine you and amari were the dancing lobsters and you had t-shirt guns they'd be so excited what are the haters gonna say now absolutely amari's store i can't wait to be a lobster with you wait i thought you were gonna say
Starting point is 00:09:21 absolutely the fuck not i have been wanting to be a dancing lobster for the past five halloweens i'm like and a unicycle and yeah on a unicycle and a bear and john wilkes booth i don't know how that one would go over it's not a funny joke like should we ask trisha if she can give birth on stage i know imagine you do the lion king thing but like with elvis that's the thing is it's just like we have these like five to ten no idea shows left and it's like i just want to do all the like cootie funny things that we haven't bookie with that we haven't did gibby not call back i didn't call to be quite frank i we could give him a call i'm so happy it. It's going to be so fun. I'm actually stoked.
Starting point is 00:10:07 I'm so excited for these shows. I think they're going to be the most fun, especially just California. Like we're going to slay special guests, all of it. I'm excited. It's going to be hilarious. I think you guys should just treat it like have fun. Be yourselves. Be yourselves.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Don't let anyone dull your sparkle. Speaking of not letting anyone dull your sparkle. Oh, no. We got to talk about it. And you could argue both sides that it's not. But we, it's just we, yep. Uh-huh. Pee-bee-boo-boo.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Wait, what are we talking about? I'm assuming it's Jojo Siwa. No, no, but hilarious. I want to talk about. Why is it always Jojo? We'll get there. Don't worry. We just started having a weekly
Starting point is 00:10:45 Like what did JoJo do segment Aww We could Write that down I want to talk about Lylability Should we? I didn't watch it
Starting point is 00:10:56 Here's the thing I didn't either Cause it's like Whenever something's been that long I'm like I probably Hate myself in that I don't want to see that So
Starting point is 00:11:03 As you guys know We we're in our distancing era and we you know, we haven't been seeing as much of Lila Gibney as maybe some other times in life. And 10 months ago, we were all bestie boots, mama. Lila was like, I want to start a podcast. I'm going to call it Lila Bility. Can you guys come on and be my first guest and here I am thinking she's gonna have you know the BFFs podcast turnaround time it's gonna come out next week right and then a couple months go by and we fizzle we fade into you essentially she she releases the episode that we shot of lilability yesterday i know and like we haven't spoken to her in months i've been living with this anxiety that she was like still gonna
Starting point is 00:11:53 release it and make everyone think that like we were on this roller coaster i'm not sure maybe it's been so long but i was under the impression that that was never coming out i thought it was a pitch for a network i never thought that the episode was never coming out. I thought it was a pitch for a network. I never thought that the episode was going to come out ever. I thought it was coming out, but like, I thought it was coming out in November. Bold. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:13 It's like, honestly, like I would probably, I mean, I probably wouldn't have released it, but I like kind of respect that she did. Like I'm not wasting an episode. Fuck you guys.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Hilarious. I'm like, she, she's smart. Like she knew that people would click it. So many views so fast. I have nothing negative to say. Like honestly well played. Yeah genius
Starting point is 00:12:30 honestly. The top comment was I know Tana's cackling in Hawaii and it's funny because I like literally was and I just like. I just don't like anything coming out where I haven't even seen it before like maybe I didn't want all of that in it like I mean I feel like it wasn't like anything bad. I didn't watch it but like I just I didn't watch it either and I've scrolled past every clip because I didn't want all of that in it like I mean I feel like it wasn't like anything bad I didn't watch it but like I just
Starting point is 00:12:45 I didn't watch it either and I've scrolled past every clip because I don't even like I'm cringing I'm already cringing at myself I already like you know you said because I'm allergic I always thought she should have a podcast she's funny and crazy and there's a market for it 100% there is and I just
Starting point is 00:13:01 I think it's like just so fucking funny that she released that shit. Like we are all best friends. It is. Like I can't imagine in like, not that it's like really equivalent to the Mindy era, but if I were like to have just like posted a pic of us or something like while that was happening, like it would have just been like, what the fuck? Let alone like a whole ass podcast.
Starting point is 00:13:20 And clips about like, how did you guys become best friends? If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your dreads worn down or you need a new wheel, And clips about like, how did you guys become best friends? card when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo TreadExperts dealer near you at TreadExperts.ca locations. From tires to auto repair we're always there at TreadExperts.ca If it's a flat or a squeal a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go
Starting point is 00:14:00 you can get it from our TreadExperts Until May 30th, purchase four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires and receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard. Conditions apply. Details at Michelin.ca. Find a Michelin Tread Experts dealer near you at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there.
Starting point is 00:14:21 TreadExperts.ca. Can you please be so fucking for real? I couldn't find a new one. So now we're just going to test out the strength of these. Oh my God. I'm such a minimalist. What was the elephant that you guys scissor? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm loving that. Yeah. That we have tension, but it's sexual. And then she moved on to BB. Oh shit. I really do have a hunch me and
Starting point is 00:14:45 bb are gonna hook up someday i literally know why i was like do i just fuck bb really quick like i just i would yeah but like i i love her you know what i mean like i couldn't bb is like the most unfortunate thing that's ever happened to me because no i really have like fear about this because i'm afraid that if like if i if I do have a soulmate in this life, I'm afraid it might be her. And that was but like that would suck. And not that I'm like, I'm so happy to have her and I'm so grateful for it. And sometimes I think about it and I'm like, God, I'm not grateful enough that I have like the one most like sought after relationship in the world, which is like a really amazing, like best female friend. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:15:21 But if she's my soulmate, that sucks because I can't have sex with her. You guys could fucking. With penetration. but that's like me and ty you guys can like get married live together have a slay little life and then on the side technically fuck you yeah but also it's true what is it lima bean what when she looks at the camera fleabag would you call it still bird fleabag but yeah you guys can still get married have a cute little rich like platonic i could also just have her as my best friend that's true yeah why is it like every i'm so like that like whenever i'm close to someone like in my head i'm like i have to fuck them yeah you do have that you know when you like um an animal is cute, you want to squeeze it to death.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Like maybe it's like that. And I used to be. Cuteness aggression, but like. Sex aggression. I used to really be like that. No sex aggression. Can I tell you something? I hope.
Starting point is 00:16:22 I got verbally assaulted. I know a little bit about this obviously because you told me this to me feels like you're like first like like her matt rife moment like my like me like like this is your first like moment canceled like you're doing it oh i'm doing it wait what what happened i'm keeping the names too yo um no it really wasn't that bad it's actually probably okay anyway don't make it nicer too i'm so excited oh i'm not so miss trevi invites me to the showing the hbo premiere of lady gaga's new chromatica movie insane pause up monsters is that what they do pause up oh my god um so i'm so
Starting point is 00:17:03 fucking excited me and trevi go to this event we're slaying it's me trevi and zoe fish ends up joining the three of us or the three of us oh my gosh were you guys in like a big guy competition yes we were looking at each other and i was like i swear to god we could be siblings i love that i love her so fucking much she is the nicest funniest oh my gosh i'm obsessed with her so it's the three of us and we're just in this venue walking around we like get a drink something and this girl and her friend like walk up and she doesn't say hi to me but she goes up to trevi says hi to trevi goes up to zoe says hi and we do this weird like little interaction where it's awkward because it's like i don't know if we know each other and it kind of feels like the same i'm getting the same vibe from her so we do this awkward little oh hi like hi and i never i never never never like ask someone's name or say like
Starting point is 00:17:52 oh i'm page i usually just go oh nice to see you just to be safe yeah for the first time in forever i finally go oh what's your name i was like i'm page and she goes yeah i know i've met you so many times and i go oh and i said oh oh my gosh like i'm so sorry i was like i feel like a bitch i was like what's your name and she goes i'm tessa and then i go oh my god i go i'm so sorry and she goes yeah and turns away i swear she kind of ate me up the competition shook she kind of ate me up. The competition shook. She kind of ate me up. I was standing there dumbfounded. I was like, what the fuck? Was she in costume? She looked great.
Starting point is 00:18:32 She looked fucking amazing. But I swear, like, she's one of those people who I've met in passing maybe, like, a handful of times. And I've never had an actual conversation with her. So it didn't, like, stick for me. But, yeah. Yeah but yeah yeah yeah hard well maybe she felt that they weren't strangers but still never acceptable no it was crazy it was crazy that's actually like it feels out of character for her though which is like like how many times have you actually met i love tessa brooks like when, sorry, that was giving like, she's never done anything to me. No,
Starting point is 00:19:05 no, no, no, she hasn't. Hold on. No, no, no,
Starting point is 00:19:07 no, no, no. Like, but she is like a, like a sassy diva, you know, like she,
Starting point is 00:19:13 she, and that group of girls, like I've heard a lot of people that she's friends with, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, maybe it was like, she was joking around,
Starting point is 00:19:22 like how I would be like, yeah, to you or to you, but I'm like, I don't know it was like she was joking around, like how I would be like, yeah, to you or to you. But I'm like, I don't know. He's really close. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she thinks we're besties.
Starting point is 00:19:31 But did she just straight up say it and turn around and walk away to God? She goes, yeah, and turned away. I went, oh, because it's like, if you're going to do that in that moment, if you're going're gonna do that you've got to like turn around and giggle right you know or like come back or like like there's a way to do that but just hitting it and walking away is crazy i don't like that spun around on her heel and turned away i'm not kidding she's a spinner trevi she's a spinner me trevi a spinner. Me, Trevi, and Zoe walked away. Trevi goes, ooh, the competition shook. But I was just like, damn, I've never had something like that happen. Oh, that's sad. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Yeah. Yeah. But honestly, she ate me the fuck up and I probably deserved it. Sorry, Tessa. I don't know because I think I totally didn't deserve. I'm always on your team. Okay. Thanks, Cooke.
Starting point is 00:20:25 I have felt that way, though, where I've met someone so many times and I'm like,'m like you dumb fucking idiot like if i have to tell you my name one more fucking time i'll kill you yeah i can never be mad at people for that because i never remember anyone yeah but i like well that's the thing i'm pretty careful about it like bb's a good example of this she would go up to sean mendez and be like i've literally met you before and it's like yeah at a meet and greet like she thinks everyone should remember her all the time it's like we fight about it's like yeah at a meet and greet like she thinks everyone should remember her all the time it's like we fight about it but like if i would never say something unless i've met someone like a hundred times well that's the thing too like i don't think i've met her in a super intimate setting or even had like a conversation with her it's definitely been like crowded rooms
Starting point is 00:20:58 quick interactions like a high buy type yeah then that is not enough to warrant yeah yeah that's so crazy i know you didn't deserve that thanks cookie even if you did forget her she just goes home and beats blake gray oh my god oh my god sorry kidding domestic violence is not funny at all oh yeah i'm like who do i want to call out by name? Dude, what? I'm calling out someone by name right now. I'm not even knowing it. You know what I mean? Here's what I mean.
Starting point is 00:21:30 OK, I feel like when Coachella comes around, I was talking about this with Trevi the other day. And this is going to be the most influencer fucking out of touch shit that I ever say. But it's like brands are just throwing money right at passes and houses and whatever. At least I find myself frequently around Coachella in a headspace of like, I'm not going to pay $3,000 for an artist band. So I would be selling out for like a tuba in April when like I would do a brand deal for a tuba in September. Like you, you lower your standards a little, like, like those aren't my rates, like those aren't whatever, but it's like, I don't want to pay for this. If I feel like these
Starting point is 00:22:15 brands, you know what I mean? And you notice that on social media as well across Coachella, like your favorite influencer suddenly like absolutely loves Klarna. Right. And it's like, you know what I mean? Like they maybe wouldn't in, in July. Right. And you and I found ourselves roped up. Are you going to tie me into something?
Starting point is 00:22:39 I'll leave you out of it. Actually me and a couple of my friends found ourselves into doing a brand deal for AI. Right. Yeah. I'm like, listen, like I'm going to get my artist passes and like you can talk to Tana on AI. But I did not think about the fact that this shit lives forever. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Like you can still talk to Tana on AI right now. Right. You are digitally cloned babe i have been frequently getting tagged in things my ai is saying and it's like by the artist pass listen listen to how my ai is talking about tana con have you heard it no no so someone brought my ai on a date to the nail salon stop have any girlfriends so come with me with my favorite robot tana ai to get our nails done and before you say robots don't have hands yes they do they're right here and they are beautiful right tana totally right girl hey
Starting point is 00:23:39 tana do you remember tana con yeah girl that was the height of my career. Well, I went to TanaCon. Oh, no shit. That's awesome. I went to TanaCon. Yeah, it wasn't very good. Bitch, I already apologized. That's why I'm on my canceled podcast tour and you're not. Oh, well, I'm still waiting for my refund.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Me too. Well, thanks for doing this to get your nails done. Next time, let's get both talks. I don't have any girls. What the fuck? Sounds like really scarily similar to you first of all i never got my tanacon refund that's why i'm on the canceled tour right now and you're not bitch my ai is cruel wait that's crazy but here's here's the thing couldn't they have done that to us anyway because
Starting point is 00:24:22 there's so much like there's hundreds of hours of us talking into a microphone every single week like people were gonna do that to us anyway so you might as well but i think you have to give the rights for it and i think if someone did it to me anyways that is so much less embarrassing than the fact that i was like go talk to me and then tana ai is telling everyone they deserved their sunburns and that she wants Botox instead. That's crazy. I texted everyone. I was like, she's too mean. She's too mean.
Starting point is 00:24:52 That could get you in trouble. Like imagine something. And that's what's crazy. You can't really regulate that either. Like be nicer. Like what are they going to say? Like don't say anything about. That's crazy. Someone could like pose as you
Starting point is 00:25:02 like leaving a voicemail on a phone. Not to give anyone any ideas. And I guess it's a double ed could like pose as you, like leaving a voicemail on a phone. Not to give anyone any ideas. And I guess it's a double edged sword because then like, let's say I were to drink again. Right. And I'm like, all of you owe me everything for your life. I could be like,
Starting point is 00:25:14 that was my AI. Right. Yeah, I know. Or a sex tape AI. Yeah. Could cover your tracks. It's just like by the artist pass.
Starting point is 00:25:23 You can afford it. You spend more on postmates in a single night that's so true literally i don't think mine's had to say anything but that just goes to show y'all wasted your money on me so yeah tana ai is out here assaulting people that's that's really bad on that um oh have you been seeing speaking of AI, like people talking to the chat GPT boyfriend? No. Hi, Zeus. Hi, babe.
Starting point is 00:25:49 How are you doing today? I'm doing really good. I have a few questions to ask you today. That's great to hear. Go ahead and ask your questions, babe. Okay, so I'm doing my makeup today and I really wanted to know what primer do you think I should use? I'd recommend a hydrating, non-comedogenic primer.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Like, come on. Have you ever seen the movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix? Oh, no. I'm thinking about Smart House. But I'm not kidding. Is it the same concept? I don't know. I was thinking of, like, Limitless.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I'm not kidding. I would wind up just like that. I would fall in love with, like, the chat GPT guy. Oh, wait. I have not kidding. I would wind up just like that. I would fall in love with like the chat GPT guy. Oh, wait. I have seen this movie, I think. But I think it was like background to like my life one time. Or like I was like doing something else and watching it. Doing something else.
Starting point is 00:26:35 No, it's never that, unfortunately. Did you try the vibrator? I have to tell you guys something I've already told Tana. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get it from our tread experts. Until May 30th, purchase four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires and receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard. Conditions apply. Details at Michelin.ca.
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Starting point is 00:27:52 Black wand or whatever with a gold end. It's pro. It might as well have Tetris on it like Stephen's vape. And she had such good things to say about it. So I ordered it, okay? And I opened it. A couple days later, I opened it again. it a couple days later i opened it again and a couple days later i opened it again i ordered it three times three separate times i went online and ordered it and like forgot oh i was like why so i just kept getting them in the mail and i'm
Starting point is 00:28:21 like what the fuck and i like i'm so fucked up about it because I'm like that. The fact that it came all at different times, that means I literally sat down and ordered it that many times and just like, I had to be like the horniest bitch alive. I was just going to say, can you give me one of those? Yes. I'm like, I'm going to have to do like an Instagram giveaway. Like the second time I was like, this is embarrassing. Like I really fuck fuck like i must
Starting point is 00:28:46 have forgotten i ordered it but i opened the third one and i just didn't even know what to say oh my god that's some xana ass shit but i remember the thought too because i like i remember thinking like oh i forgot i gotta go back and order it but i had like i hadn't forgotten so now i have three of them and it was like bb opened package and I was like what do I even say now I have one for every room of the house I'm paying $20 right now for a chat GPT boyfriend I'm so sorry there's also toxic boyfriend
Starting point is 00:29:16 I don't really want to get into that one imagine Makoa if I just fell in love with a chat GPT I need one of those when I was in middle school I used to take you know like thumpers like the back massager wait we know thumper but you know like thumper like it's like the neighbor oh i know you know oh were you that's it i would use that but that i swear to god my clip was hanging on by a thread no if you're you're ever in a bind, a Theragun does the trick.
Starting point is 00:29:47 No, okay. Harry Jowsey told me this story one time about him and a Theragun, and it just scarred me for fucking, sorry, Harry. Getting straight. A Theragun on your puss? And then what, you're wearing your clit like an earring the next day? It's like dangling off. Have you ever done that?
Starting point is 00:30:04 Like, oh my god i can't even believe i'm saying this i have to cover my face covering my face so in the clip like it's still you it's like if you can't see us we can't see you i kept doing that on tour like saying embarrassing shit facing like not the crowd it's like you're still in still like have you ever just wanked it so hard? I draw the line at wanked. Then you wake up the next day and your shit's like prosciutto. I'm crying. I'm drooling.
Starting point is 00:30:43 What? You know what I'm saying. Come come on please don't leave me hanging no i have no fun on leave me hanging please please show me to me please i know exactly what you're talking about like raw yeah wait can, can you elaborate a little bit? I want to meet you there. You're just like, damn, I beat my shit up. One time in, like, middle school. Never mind.
Starting point is 00:31:18 No, go, go, go, go. Come on. Please. Please. Come on. Digital footprint. Digital footprint. I hope to. please come on please digital footprint digital footprint I hoped
Starting point is 00:31:27 I hoped about it I ripped a hole in it in my phone my mom was like, what's the hole from? And I blamed her on my cat, Ollie. What do you mean, Edward Scissorpussy?
Starting point is 00:31:58 What do you mean you ripped a hole in it? How much friction did you create a hole? It has like jars around the side no no no it was like it wasn't it wasn't like an isolated event this has happened multiple times oh wait wait so like wait was it, over time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't, like, a one time. It was that good. Were you in the landing below? I'm, like, loyal to a fault.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Okay. That is my favorite story you've ever told me, except the part where you blamed your sweet house pet. Oliver. Ollie. Is Oliver still with us? No. Oh, well, he's looking down on you.
Starting point is 00:32:49 But I swear, humping a pillow is like a canon event. You're just like, damn, I'm sleeping on this. I gotta fuck it one time. I've never been a humper, really. Let me hit you. Not even humanizing. You feel like somebody's bunny. You know what I mean okay i kind
Starting point is 00:33:07 of like it i imagine if you were a guy what you would have been you know how like guys will just stick it in anything it must be so fun i would do fucking anything what's the first thing that you would have a woman and fuck a ziploc bag of gasoline good money what about you oh god i feel like everyone just hits the standard couch cushion right uh aaron can you give us some insight like what's the what's the boonkiest thing you've ever i feel like that's a universal experience when you're young you just start putting it in things yeah what oh aaron's so normal he's lying through his couch cushion liar steven okay no being steven oh whoa that's wait i'm pretty sure he told us a story about this already no it was about rub maps oh yeah rub maps god that's good shit see i don't have
Starting point is 00:34:07 any good stories like that because i didn't discover or discover masturbation till like way too late in life to a point where i like wouldn't even want to admit it really like way too late in life admit it now and i had so much making up to do so that's why i have three high school she's like so that's why i have three raw fingers no fingerprints today i remember when i discovered two in the pink one in the stink i was like nothing will ever be funnier than this this is comedy gold It was this and like the S in middle school. The Superman S. Wait, so how old were you?
Starting point is 00:34:51 Like old, like literally after college. What? Yes, swear to God. Brooke Amber. On my life. And I didn't know, like, first of all, I was having sex with guys in like frats. So like, I didn't know what was supposed to, like, I literally did not have an orgasm until after college you weren't like at all groomed on omegle no i lost my virginity at 17 page i was groomed on omegle at 10 i'm not kidding i was late to the
Starting point is 00:35:20 game but i oh my god i'm like beat red i know it was such a bummer you know how much you know how powerful i would have been if i knew that sex was supposed to be good in college dude i was busting nuts and then going under that rainbow tarp you're the funniest person i've ever met this is the funniest you've ever been in your whole life shut the fuck up i do remember though i do remember i had a unique experience one time sliding down a pole in like actual elementary so like literally like like a fire pole and i was like and then and then i never felt it again until i was 21 no way i swear to god but like i it brought me right back there to the playground i would power sand my pussy off if i waited till like 21 you know you don't know what you don't know there are girls right now older than us who have never
Starting point is 00:36:17 who don't know i saw someone call into a podcast the other day and was like how do you know if you had an orgasm? And I'm like, you haven't. Oh, yeah, you would know. Imagine, like, this episode. It's like a subway surfer in the middle, but it's just porn. I know.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Can we, like, cut the screen in half and get, like, slime making on one side? I love this. So many accounts have been doing that. I love it. I think we should do it at the live shows, just have it playing behind us. Matty Healy did that.
Starting point is 00:36:45 And I didn't think he was that funny. Like, I was like, damn. Oh. Like. Oh, you did. Oh, okay. I thought you didn't think it was funny. I was like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:36:53 No, like, I didn't think he had that in him. Oh, okay. Like, the 1975, but with Subway Surfer behind you. You're hilarious. So fucking funny. Smallest fucking man who ever lived. Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino. Check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer
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Starting point is 00:37:56 please contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. The pop girlies are fighting. Oh, good one i know can you give us a little um spark notes version of what's going on i'll try in layman's terms okay okay i'll try miss t swift miss eilish it's the cold war i know this is hard this feels like civil this is yeah oh god it's hard because i am biased and i am a swifty until the day i die but okay so this all started.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Billy said something about like it was something along the lines of like, I can't stand when artists put out like multiple copies of like a vinyl just to like make it's like a money grab, essentially. And it was coming at Taylor because Taylor had put out like three or four different versions of the Tortured Poets Department. I don't know. She was like talking shit about that. And then she went on and did that with her album she put out like 10 different copies of it something crazy yeah
Starting point is 00:38:48 i saw billy post on her story like i was it was a broad statement i've done it too i just think we should all do better then didn't she do the live where she said like nobody wants a three hour concert yeah correct correct so there's like an audio of her saying like, yeah, no media coverage over here. Canceled podcast. This is so like, yeah, something like that. And like that. Yeah, it was her saying no one wants a three hour concert. I wouldn't even want that. It could be like my favorite artist in the world. I wouldn't give a fuck. Blah, blah, blah. And everyone's like, what are you talking about? And obviously it's pointed at Taylor because eras tour the concert was three hours and that's just like what do you mean like i would love a 12-hour justin bieber concert where hayley does water birth at the end like what do you mean no literally sorry continue oh i thought you're
Starting point is 00:39:35 gonna say something no well i was gonna say like but it wasn't it like she was on live and someone commented like make your show longer and she was like oh i don't want to do like you no one wants to see me sing for three hours but i don't think she was like i hate three-hour concerts it was it was more than that maybe a little less than what we were saying it was like no one wants a three-hour show like even from my favorite artists i wouldn't want that like those are like it seemed a little pointed i just feel like billy is too smart she knows there is one group you just don't but if anybody isn't afraid of swifties it's billy eilish but i feel like billy eilish would be a swifty no i don't know i mean right now i think it's just like a charts game like a numbers game and i think like tortured poets and
Starting point is 00:40:19 hit me hard and stop it's like competing and i think they're both trying to like well and billy's manager was liking all these tweets that are like crazy like god it's always the camp making it messier than it is i know and i know at her um her listening party wasn't there like audio about phineas saying something like oh she doesn't even write her own music, blah, blah, blah, talking about Taylor Swift. How do we know? TikTok. I don't know. You're first. I'm always just trying to play devil's advocate. And I love Billie Eilish.
Starting point is 00:40:56 But I know that there is one thing you never do, and it's disagree with the Swifties. So that is like golden rule number one. I'm not kidding. If I saw a group of Swifties marching down the street with babies on fire, I would be like, hell yeah, girl power. It's so scary out here. if i saw a group of swifties marching down this street with babies on fire i would be like hell yeah girl power like it's so scary out here like i said i was a swifty on a podcast recently and it like i got so much heat for it because like someone asked me like oh what's your favorite taylor swift song and i go like and i say all too well 10 minute version which apparently was the wrong answer they were like she's not even a fucking real swifty she all she does is lie she
Starting point is 00:41:21 always says she loves lying and this is it she's lying right now and i was like oh my god i didn't realize it was such a fucking like tight-knit community it's not like she's the most fucking popular artist in the entire world you tell them bookie well i'm just like god i didn't really tossing me the car keys fuck the patriarchy there's levels to being a swifty i won't even say i'm a swifty if i listen maybe i'm just a taylor swift fan but it was so scary i was literally getting lit on fire by these girls. And I didn't know, like, sometimes it's like you want to dabble in something and like you want to say like, oh, I'm a fan of this. But like, fuck, I don't know every song.
Starting point is 00:41:51 Just like fake lesbians. I want to dabble in it. Oh, yeah. Great segue. I'm like, and I've been meaning to talk about this. Turn it up. Dude. But it's like, God, I didn't realize it's so black and white.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Like, I don't know what I am, white like i don't know what i am dude i don't know what i like i'm just a fucking moron i am a girl who loves taylor swift so much but unfortunately i cannot you don't qualify i can't name 200 songs you know um speaking of billy eilish and fake lesbians i fear we have an epidemic upon us tell us about oh are you about to go on a whole tangent about how these girls who literally are only fucking for a princess poly crop top and lore wait what what sorry it's that's just a personal trigger bitches would always want to fuck me to wear my clothes i swear to god i was like i don't think so like you're saying all these fake lesbians on tiktok
Starting point is 00:42:44 like can i eat that? Yes, yes, yes. And here's my thing. I might get myself into hot water when I say this, but it's my truth. I feel like with like the lunch, with that song, so catchy, so fun. I get it singing along, da, da, da, this and that.
Starting point is 00:42:58 However, I have a problem when it becomes like the fake lesbians are out here talking about it. Cause I'm like, you've never touched a pussy in your life and you never will. And also eat for lunch. Like that, that's not even like a casual, like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Get to the center of the Tootsie pop. That's like, right, right, right. Like dancing on your tongue. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:16 And I get it. I, I get by like being curious, bisect, like curious. You're thinking about it. You're confused, whatever.
Starting point is 00:43:24 It's the girls who do it strictly for male're confused whatever it's the girls who do it strictly for male attention like the girls who are like oh my god I want to make out with this girl to get this guy's attention for like male validation I'm like shut up we all know the pick me girl who like you know what I mean so when that part of the song comes on
Starting point is 00:43:39 I need you to sit down and zip it what's that song called Cairo Kai Hiro I think it's just called lunch isn't it yeah that song right it's lunch yeah Cairo what's the other one like Chihiro or whatever that's what I'm talking about I just read it as Cairo and then I think about how bad I need my back adjusted every time. I want my back.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Well, Dr. Javid, please come back from Dubai. Anyway. Yeah, I think I agree with that. But I can't really. I don't get to say anything about that because I fear that I might be one of the fake lesbians. Not a fake lesbian. I'm just somebody who would go there and really hasn't much. Yeah, but you're curious.
Starting point is 00:44:24 You're curious. You're a little. I'm talking about the girls who do it strictly. The girls who are hasn't much. Yeah, but you're curious. You're curious. You're a little. I'm talking about the girls who do it strictly. The girls who are straight. Yeah. The straights who are doing it just for like male attention to like appease a guy to, I don't know, some weird fetish. No, that song.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Definitely. Like, I've been seeing a lot of that. Yeah. I don't need to cook a bunch of fucking people right now. But like, I. That's it. That's all I have to say. I don't know if that a bunch of fucking people right now. But like I. That's it. That's all I have to say. I don't know if that's the symbol, guys.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Not for what we've been talking about. I'm like, that's it. That's all I have to say. Okay. I want to talk really quickly about Bob Gate, which was a period I had or I've had over the past week where I feel like I have to get a Bob. OK. Bob Gates sounds like a hot guy.
Starting point is 00:45:07 I want to fuck Bob Gates. Like Bill Gates, Bob Saget. OK. I have been in a space. Dude, he could have filled up my house. May he rest in peace. I forgot. So anyway, I had this phase where i like really needed to get a bob and
Starting point is 00:45:25 i texted everyone i needed validation from which was literally only page and she said yes absolutely oh yeah she said would it be weird if your co-host had a bob i'm like you mean you anyway so i really wanted this bob i texted page she said i could do it so i was like that's all the green light i need okay that's so nice and so then i'm like really scrolling through because the reason I wanted a Bob was because I found this girl on TikTok who has the cutest Bob I've ever seen. And occasionally I will get tagged in her videos saying like, you look like Brooke. Okay. So I'm like, maybe we would look similar with a Bob because like she's, people say we look
Starting point is 00:45:57 similar sometimes. So I message her every single piece of content she has put out in the past two years has been Bob related okay it's all about the bob she loves her bob she swears by the bob everybody should have a bob i message her and i say you have me in a bob crisis she responds immediately and she goes i know do not do it what she says i go wait what like i thought you were gonna say yeah she goes nope not you what no i'm not even kidding or like like something like really along those lines where i was like wait a minute okay i said you have me
Starting point is 00:46:32 and bob crisis she says i know don't do it i say this with love you're plenty hot as you are you'll regret it i go no i wanted you to convince me she said nope i like your long hair and to be clear tell me who i'm believe it her name is this like really cute girl but i'm like i i i'm with bb and we're reading it and we're like wait does she hate me what the fuck and so i was like that's really strange because to be clear i was not asking her if she thinks i should get a bob at all i was asking her if she likes her bob okay like like are you happy with your bob not do you personally think I should get a Bob? Because I don't know you at all.
Starting point is 00:47:08 So it's like, that was just kind of strange, but I was like, you know what? Maybe she didn't mean it like in a rude way. Okay. So anyway, I'm still stalking her.
Starting point is 00:47:15 I'm going through her content. She has another video. Wait, this is going to make it so obvious who it's about. I'm sure she wasn't trying to be mean, but yes, she's the gatekeeper of the mob. Apparently, she's the only Bobfluencer.
Starting point is 00:47:30 But then I watch another video of hers and she's like, who wants to look down at your hands and see red nails? I'm like, oh, fuck. And I'm like, oh, shit. She got me again. And then just yesterday, she posted a video about who should and should not get a bob. No. And her should not, her one should not was people with long faces, which is already a
Starting point is 00:47:54 major insecurity of mine. I was like, I have to kill myself. I swear to God. And I i'm like oh my god like this at this point it is a targeted attack bring back curb stomping after this podcast fuck going to dinner we're jumping that bitch it made me so sad though because here i am like i've i've i created this whole imaginary character of her in my head because she's so cute that i was like oh my god sweetest angel i'm gonna be a sweet angel with my bob and now i'm like now i attach her to the bob and now i can never cut my
Starting point is 00:48:35 hair again in life because i think she she ruined your bob yeah she she well what did i do to her have a long face i don't think you have a long face but it is very like like we've talked a lot about how you think that like people say that and whatever and like for her to then broke and i'm kidding measure like i my face is not that long you're beautiful and absolutely the most gorgeous person i've literally ever met well thank you and this isn't even like i'm not fishing it's just like i don't think you're fishing i feel like if somebody asked me like like you know like send her my address now it was so crazy i just wanted her to say like yeah you'll you're gonna love it like i just wanted some kind of like like it's not as
Starting point is 00:49:21 scary as you think it is like anything along those lines but instead she said no bitch don't do it it's not for you to put it so bluntly like that is like crazy literally like you have but can you just confirm that i'm not like reading too far into it i've never met her we've only followed each other for three hours at this point what the fuck imagine rook karenning someone with a bob like just like you're yelling would be so much more kind i just think it's so she like a bob is so chic it's so like it's so cute it's so and i i'm so overstimulated by my long hair i get so much hate for how i always wear my hair slicked but it's because i cannot have it like people need to touch fucking grass no but like i just thought i would i thought it would be so fun like imagine how freeing to get out of the shower just fucking
Starting point is 00:50:03 shake your head and go. You would look so fucking cute. Well, thank you. Like, if anyone could pull it off, it's you. You're tiny. But now I can't even do it, because if she's right, I will never live it down. No.
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Starting point is 00:50:42 to speak to an advisor free of charge. No, there's no way. And it's such like the it girl hairstyle right now. And I feel like you would slay it. You would look so cute and cheap. I was just going to say like only a special type of person I think can pull off a bob. You have to be so pretty. And like, it's just like you're perfect for a bob.
Starting point is 00:50:57 And that was a win. And like drop the address. It was just so crazy. I was like, especially because like i just asked you so she knew dead ass i was gonna watch that video and be like it's me i'm the long face get a bob and suddenly you're fucking joe biden she's the bob police and you know what that's all i'll say about it i'm not even kidding she watching this. I'm looking into the camera. Fuck you. Let's fight.
Starting point is 00:51:27 And it's that. What a bitch. Dude, I don't want you and me on this whole conversation one time about how like men are so simple. Like it's like guys are either like you have on carpenter pants. I have on carpenter pants. Let's be bros. Or they're like, I don't like him. He's not chill. And there's no in between.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Like a man has never had this conversation. let's be bros. Or they're like, I don't like him. He's not chill. And there's no in between. Like a man has never had this conversation. I asked him to get a haircut. And then she said this. And it was kind of passive. Like, it's like only women could ever. But it gave me like flashbacks to high school where it's like, I've never like,
Starting point is 00:51:58 listen, I've been the most pick me bitch in the entire world, but never have I ever gotten mad at somebody because they did like the same thing as me or anything along those lines. I remember had a friend in high school i've said this before like she got mad at me because i got the same fucking converse as her and i was like another girl got mad at me for getting the same car as her for my 16th birthday i go hayley it's a kia i'm hayley scott i'll never forget it it is it is like that type of girl is so crazy and they always think they like invented uh-huh you know what i mean bootcut jeans they always think they invented like the bob
Starting point is 00:52:32 like it's like it's so crazy to me but you know what like take that out like jackie kennedy bitch yeah did she have a bob now that we're talking about it, she did have a Bob. What's her name, B.O.B.? So they're calling you Bob, Bob, Bob. You need it. You should just send her, Brooke, Brooke Amber, please, please, I'll literally pay money. Send her a voice memo right now of that excerpt of that song. Like, B.O.B. calling me Bob, just in her messages, please. I'm too scared. And I don't, like, maybe she really didn't even mean to be mean, but I feel like she
Starting point is 00:53:04 should really think about what she's saying sometimes. i'm imagining her bob firing her up like a helicopter like that oh good shit anyway i gotta keep my long hair for at least another six months just for the no no no i think you should you think i should you should stand You think I should cut a bob and tag her? Yeah. Yeah, stand your ground, cut a bob. Stand on bob-ness. Dude, thank you, Paige. Brain rot humor. So, wait. Boo-boo-ah joke.
Starting point is 00:53:35 So stupid. Dude. I'm glad the internet is coming around to Benny Blanco. Me too. I love him. I'm so happy for him bobco
Starting point is 00:53:46 bobby blandino no benny in your car buddy bronco benny in the rainstorm benny poncho benny with your hair betty blonde hoe i don't have anything. I'm not quick enough for this podcast, apparently. No. Be quicker, Betty Pronto. I'm like, uh, gone, gone.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Sean, I got nothing. That was good. Benny in a small house, Benny Kondo. I'm done. Start talking, please. Cut her off, cut her off cut her off god i need to start taking improv classes or something seriously i just did ridiculousness oh my god and right before that tana like i'm all nervous i'm in hawaii and i'm like tana i gotta get home like
Starting point is 00:54:35 i'm really nervous to do ridiculousness i swear to god next thing she goes it's so fucking scary and so hard you have to be so i go why would you say that it's more so that like I just like the it's like the set like you get on it and you feel like you're on like so official jeopardy like it's like it was very very like you know they sent a car I show up everybody's like outside to gather you it was like a whole thing and I was like how was it it was so good it was fun but I had to drink did you have to smoke alcohol and then I had to drink understandable did you feel like you like would do it again you liked it like it was fun i would love to do it again but it went by so fast i did two episodes in literally like what felt like 30 minutes dude that's crazy and we just started like it was like i was just sitting there and
Starting point is 00:55:16 all of a sudden so fucking fun though and like you being able to be good at that is genuinely like like a test to you being fucking good at what you do like well i don't know if i was good at it or not again i drank and i just it flew by so fast i don't remember anything that was said it was like i was so nervous because it was like i've been watching rob dearduck since like robin big like fantasy factory like i was obsessed so it was just like you like black out while you're doing it literally it was crazy i thought it was the hardest thing ever i also did it like jake paul was robbed yeah he asked me about you he was like um or he because he like we talked a lot about the tour and stuff and he was like um he
Starting point is 00:55:53 said that you guys did like your own version of it it's called bustedness no one's picking that show up and it was me and mike malak you know i didn't get a word in oh like it was just like so beyond on it wait so. So who is it? It's Rob Dyrdek. It was you instead of Chanel West Coast. Is it still CeeLo? Yes. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:56:10 CeeLo Green? Is it? No, it's CeeLo. You're telling me there's CeeLo Green and CeeLo Brim. Those are two completely different names. Yes. Driving around town. Wasn't him, but that would have been a hoot.
Starting point is 00:56:23 He's hot, though. He's really hot. I also did an episode with that guy, Jeremy Meeks, who was like famous for having the hot mug shot. Yeah. And he just started mewing the whole time. Prison day. I saw him at Target one time.
Starting point is 00:56:34 He almost cut me. Like cut you? No. Because of prison? Yeah. Oh, with his jawline. Yeah. Like sexy.
Starting point is 00:56:41 In line because he's a troublemaker. Yeah. Anyway, it was really fun. I'm really proud of you and like so fucking i could just see you absolutely crushing that and it's i i've been watching so much ridiculousness because of like the cable tv of it all and i was watching it's so fun nina agdal on it and stuff and i was like brooke would just like crush this like it's i can't we should have a whole viewing party we have to hopefully it's funny if it's not please don't tell me i'm literally gonna call myself no i know you crush you are so funny and quick and witty like i know you slayed i know you until there's a fucking um what were we talking about no but seriously i love benny blanco and i'm glad they're giving him his flowers i think benny blanco is like the way people think about like glenn powell i think he's the most eligible bachelor he is yeah really like i really got me
Starting point is 00:57:29 when people started like when obviously he dated started dating selena and he just got cooked online and everyone's like what the fuck and i understood it like to my core like i really did not even i don't know that's the hottest type of guy you can be with and I stand on you know he kisses her fucking toes he does did you see him talking about what he did for valentine's day he's like yeah I rented out a theater and I thought of every single food that she's ever liked and I like I made sure I had it all ready for her like I got fried pickles and like I made he was like in there like hibachi grilling himself and he took out the she doesn't like um movie theater seats she wanted a couch so he took out the movie theater seats stop putting couches like i'm like the fuck where
Starting point is 00:58:08 was benny blanco three years ago just kidding i would never sell an eaters that's another scary group oh yeah they ride at dawn they do honestly with the swifties seriously yeah oh yeah they're not like one big no i love benny blanco i think he's so hot i do too i really do i remember i told you this when i when it happened but i saw him at his fourth of july party and he has his eyes like there's like he has the light eyes and like i swear he looked at me and i was like i'm in love with you i love a guy that's like funny and you don't know what their dick's about no but i'm saying like there's a chance that like he has like a like i fear we're like hyper sexualizing people like to a point that we're gonna get in trouble for like it's called histrionic personality disorder and i might have it
Starting point is 00:58:59 i'm not kidding wait what is it when you like hypersexualized? Histrionic personality disorder. I definitely have it. It's actually like crazy. Wait, let me look it up. Hold on. I fear there's a few personality disorders like that would come before that one for you. For sure.
Starting point is 00:59:15 No, it's it's low. It's not even in the draft, but like I could pick it up. You know what I mean? There's no shame in the personality disorder game. Seductive or provocative behavior. Shifting emotions. Wait a minute a minute oh i'm seeing signs and no not you i really might i'm not very sexual maybe i would have been if i discovered masturbation sooner yeah you're a late bloomer i was just bored and we had like not a lot of
Starting point is 00:59:39 money you know what i mean so i had to make shit shake literally oh. Oh my God. I just feel bad for your household items. Do you think your mom's going to see this and know now? I pray she's not watching. I told her not to. That's fair. Oh,
Starting point is 00:59:54 don't want her to know I'm humping pillows. My mom's definitely watching. It's the only content she can consume these days. Jojo Siwa's 21st. Yeah. Is there something
Starting point is 01:00:02 I should know about? Yeah. She blacked out at Epcot. She was was blacked oh are you not up to date fully on this more brooke is the funniest thing she's dressed like a construction worker like bedazzled i think i did see that let me see if i can look at construction vest she was wearing tim's she was wearing tim's I do think Tim should come back like I really like them no I'm sorry but the finally 21 glasses pulled that look together
Starting point is 01:00:29 get her on the Met carpet she's camp if she's nothing else it was dude she's really got the story arc right now where it's like the type of person
Starting point is 01:00:40 to just sewer slide in a couple years yeah wait wait that got dark dark that's not yeah wait i don't know if that's where we were going with this but i do think that this is good education for you in regards to what a hey mama's lesbian is in fact wait show show show she called brie a hey mama's lesbian and go brie is She could be a Hey Mama's lesbian.
Starting point is 01:01:05 I know. This is a Hey Mama's lesbian. But she's got two hats and some cargo shorts on, you know? Two hats. No, but like she would say Hey Mama's. Well, yeah, she would. Not in a bad way. JoJo could get it. What?
Starting point is 01:01:19 Well, I'm not like. 5B21. I fear we are getting into like major bullying territory with Jojo though. But this is giving Sims randomizer for the fit. I think it's a bit though. I think that she knows what she's doing. It's hilarious. In this clip, in this video, she's doing a sing along to Karma.
Starting point is 01:01:41 She's going to random people at Epcot going, Karma's a. I should be hard for her to know who's on her side right now. You know what I mean? Like, are they laughing with me or at me? Yeah. Dude, I don't ever want to reach the territory of, like, I'm talking about something too much.
Starting point is 01:02:03 But it's like, she's just... She keeps feeding me and she's doing it to herself i'm sorry i think she's slaying whatever she's she means to be doing because she has to mean to be doing the dancing lobsters i'm wearing that on stage in oakland california first of all it's the sing-along was just so so wild because it wasn't like she had a phone out or she it was just genuine like like imagine we were at we hope be strong in an hour and i'm sitting there and i'm like fuck on your bitch like i'm no one knows they know they know they know but like the person recording walks away she goes happy birthday jojo goes you too bitch was blacked out but or was she faking hammered
Starting point is 01:02:40 no it was she with tyler cameron oh i forgot their besties wait why are you checking her out like that shit I don't want to burn a Tyler Cameron on a complete side note the fuck meeting Mickey and Minnie and Daffy and Donald that's the person to meet at Disneyland I would be so stoked if I saw Jojo Siwa at Disneyland
Starting point is 01:03:01 we got goofy at home. I love people who are like psychoanalyzing it and being like, what if Jojo just like popped out with like a blowout and a sundress? It is so, it's actually like sad the way society is because like if she did pop out with a blowout, a sundress, a smoky wing. Yeah, are we judging her for her appearance, perhaps? Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Perhaps. Like, if she just, if it was, like, if she was doing the exact same things but looked different, I think people would be, not looked like her physical makeup, but, like, her accessorizing and whatnot. Like, if she was dressed like a normal civilian, I think people would be so much less mean. But still just doing like the sing-along karaoke in Epcot,
Starting point is 01:03:48 like blacked out. But it's all the bit. That's what I'm saying. And she's always been exactly good at that. And that's why she's made hundreds of millions of dollars. That's so true. It's also like, dude, goddamn, if I made the JoJo Boe amount of money by that age,
Starting point is 01:04:05 I'm absolutely going out in public and like farting on people. Like you're done. You don't have to worry about like, you know what I mean? Like you're financially set. So it's like farting on people. It's crazy to me that like there's not
Starting point is 01:04:21 regulations on that. You know how all the Disney kids like weren't allowed to do anything? Like is there somebody in an office somewhere just went and saw planet of the apes and he was like you would love this movie babe because the entire time they're doing few word do trick and i was like oh my god oh my god i'm so like because it's i'm so few word do trick coded i was saying that i think that that's a big reason why i don't know how to drive there's no words required actually well no you have to take driver's ed to pass this test right and i have this fucking driver's ed teacher dude and it's like oh my god i would call him on zoom every week and i'd be like how do you turn left you know i know nothing starting from the basics right what the fuck does yield mean right and i would ask him these simple questions and then this man would like go on a fucking wraparound tangent with like star wars references about and
Starting point is 01:05:11 like i've never seen star wars and like trying to teach me and i just i love few word do that's it it was horrible you should have a you should have a person like who doesn't speak english teach you that's what i'm saying so that's like you really do have to only like you know you're gonna learn one day you'll get there there's this dentist in hollywood he's not mine okay he's not my dentist or yours oh your dentist yeah whoever goes to him's teeth probably stay the fuck in their skull right sorry my teeth fall out i have the right to be a little upset right ours staying if your teeth were popping out like legos you would feel how i feel you know what i mean but i'm this isn't even about whatever but i found out that there's this
Starting point is 01:05:55 hollywood dentist who has a wife a kid a wife of kids if you were dutrick he has a wife and kids like all this stuff and like so normal family man he's all up in these like celebrities mouths and shit right on the low he is closeted and asking like male instagram models to send him nudes in exchange for free dental work and they're doing it what yeah i hate that but I also hate this conversation because it... He's going to see it. It's literally... Yes.
Starting point is 01:06:32 What? What? What? And I know someone who did it. They sent a gooch pic in exchange for an Invisalign tray. That's crazy. How did you hear that?
Starting point is 01:06:44 You know, I tried to do that. I tried to munch box for my IV nurse. Didn't work out. Tried. Tried. Munched box. Bully. I think it's good that they're not offering services in exchange for sexual acts.
Starting point is 01:07:01 If I could see. Have you ever traded sexual acts for um product i know you have because i have too and we just talked about it before this episode started what was it for an artist plastic ocella oh but i was already hooking up with him listen my ai right now is fucking calling someone a slur so i you know i think you won i wish i sucked instead of you said you did i've definitely like well you know that i were you just trying to make me feel i fucked this guy because i this is when i was drunk okay obviously i fucked this guy because i thought his parents owned disney despite me having told her several times that they did not especially because he was my
Starting point is 01:07:48 friend that i've had for fucking seven years and she was telling me she's she was drunk and she's telling me over and over again yes they do they own disney you first of all no one just owns fucking walt and is walking around. Like, she really thought that he was just, like, hanging out with us commoners and owned Disney. Yeah, I remember this era. Yeah, no, I thought the CeeLo Green type. He looks nothing like CeeLo Green. You didn't even get, like, a Magic Kingdom pass out of it. You didn't get anything.
Starting point is 01:08:22 So crazy. That was, like, a big problem of mine is i like would hear something about someone or like get convinced that like you know what i mean yeah it was like the game of telephone except it was all happening in your head oh my god when she tried to pimp me out to because she yep just like that meatball sub the man looked like a grilled cheese it's so funny the guy the heat miser oh yeah he looks at the heat miser it's so funny because i should have never tried to pimp you out to that man okay i just want to let you know i'm really sorry
Starting point is 01:08:56 no no i understand i like i just i thought it could be really amazing and beneficial and it just really wasn't at all but it's so funny because to this day if i get page talking about him she goes on a tangent what did you say about him the other day he looks like he's storing food for the winter in his cheeks no no he's so puffy it looks like he's storing acorns in his cheeks i said he is he's so horrible that i have i am not above shaming him in every single way about his love. He is horrible. He is the best candidate I've ever seen for buckle fat removal. Honestly, we should refer him. He looks like...
Starting point is 01:09:31 I've never had it. ...permanent wisdom tooth surgery. Aw. No. Sorry. No, I don't think he should be. No, he's so fucking horrible. He was so creepy.
Starting point is 01:09:41 I met him at Stagecoach, and he could not stop talking to me about how he lost his Rolex, and it it was uninsured and he didn't mind because he could buy a hundred of them in a day and i'm like no i'm allowed to come for his looks because i'm not kidding this man would get like actually mad at me like borderline violent because like i didn't want to sleep with him oh i hate that yeah like he would be like fuck this like i remember he tried to like get me to nap with him and then he was i was like no i'm honestly i'm good i remember he tried to like get me to nap with him and then he was i was like no i'm honestly i'm good i'm good and he was like well fuck this then i'm canceling the whole fucking trip like you guys can just go the fuck home then you you won't have
Starting point is 01:10:12 a place to sleep blah blah i'm like okay calm down sub what the fuck calm down meatball oh my god i remember i had a story literally exactly like that's the fucking worst genre person and i still see him i saw him at the guest compound in fucking at coachella and he is just our friends are friends with him and he literally told me that i he was he was no longer gonna buy my flight home because i didn't want to hook up with him and he said that i couldn't come up from the basement he locked me in the where my hug at final boss mode like what the fuck are you saying that's like if you have to do that how is it even like oh oh my god it's actually like murder it's so funny too because it's like you can sit here right now and say like you did not touch that man and we like yeah we still ran his pockets that's true but you took over she ended up slaying because i was like
Starting point is 01:11:03 i want because i was scared for you and i was like i know i was like i want nothing to do with this man he's fucking vile makes me sick and ten was like don't worry don't worry i got this befriended him was like oh my god like i you're just so fun you're everything if you were to flex only and not try to solicit like sexual favors maybe you would have been like oh that's kind of hot and like wanted to do it but i don't even like the flexing it's so corny to me that's my problem with it is like i was with a friend same thing at stagecoach he was like but he's so rich and i'm like it is the most unattractive disgusting disturbing thing in the world when a guy is telling me how rich he is i went on 17 dates with that man oh my god bamboozled i've been no this is a different well i'm talking about
Starting point is 01:11:47 oh i'm not talking about that guy oh yeah i don't know that's there but they were like literally sword fighting basically at state like like having a competition about who had the nicer watch and i'm like we're at a country music festival i will welcome that energy if i'm reaping the benefits but if you're just like i've never like that guy for example is always flexing but then like i'm not gonna buy a woman anything yada yada it's like yeah who is this for then yeah then why are you flexing to me that you have 10 rolexes and you're gonna take us to this place because for other guys because i want to be so clear that is your only value did they make you face the corner as a kid like is are you making up for something i just don't get it trevi do you want to come on can i just say that this couch right now is my dream smack
Starting point is 01:12:39 pack like the people on this couch if i was not not me, like, and I walked into this, like imagine this couch roasting you. Oh, fuck. Like you're never recovering. Can I confess something? And then now that you just brought that up. Okay. Remember we were watching the roast of Tom Brady and this is maybe sensitive if you want to cut this out,
Starting point is 01:12:59 but TanaCon, there was this whole segment that I was going to do on stage. It was a full 45-minute thing, and it was the roast of Tana Mongeau. And I was the roast master. Do you not remember any of this? I don't remember anything. sports. Bett Rivers is the place. Over, under, money, lines. Same game, Paul A's, it's all fine. You'll put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with Bett Rivers Sportsbook. Take a chance. Must be 19 plus. Available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you
Starting point is 01:13:37 have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge there's like a whole note section i have in my phone and it was like gonna be like me shane ricky dylan and like all these people who were going to tana con i want it to happen now i still want the roast of tana mosher to happen i think it would be so much i've been actually debating i'm definitely debating it but that's so fucking funny that like lineup nightmare blunt rotation nightmare rotation fucking sponsored by after party get it the kia forum i don't know we might have lost after party after this first part of this podcast
Starting point is 01:14:15 oh no my ai is wilding your ai is like developing consciousness it's like saying shit to other people no it is her ai starts like bossing me around starts sending the fans like articles of every one of her scandals don't give her ideas i'm sorry tan ai um her ai is texting me like i need blue vape trevi do you have the notes still like what do you even remember what you were going to say? Remember when Amari used to always do that? My iCloud should come clutch, but I did black out in New York that one time and punched Jordan Rona in the face,
Starting point is 01:14:59 so I lost like half my shit. Could be worse. One time I blacked out and made out with him. See, I want to leave that in because why did that happen? I was into it at the time. Could we insert the video of me punching Jordan Rowan on the face? You have a video?
Starting point is 01:15:14 Oh my god. Shut up. Okay, quick really funny, really funny story. I found it. It's a whole thing. Go now. I'm really, well this was like pre-transition. So it's like, I'm like going to have to like figure out how to reword this and if it's even funny at all.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Hi everyone. Welcome to the roast of Tana Mongeau. My name is Trevi Moran, or as most of you used to know me, used to be famous for O2L. Or as most of you know me, the kid we all knew would be trans after seeing the X Factor audition. I'm happy to be here roasting Tana at the first ever TanaCon. Crazy! Oh my god, that's vintage.
Starting point is 01:15:50 That is like really like an artifact. That's vintage. Not the relic. Okay. But I'm so sorry to also announce that it'll probably be her last because I don't know how many scandals her career can fucking handle. Not the foreshadowing.
Starting point is 01:16:05 That's crazy. Oh my God, Jill. No, I think you actually made it happen, honestly. I know the Manifestation Station nation. Wait, but June 18th, 2018. Crazy. Whoa. Here we have Chrisma. I mean, Christine Sidelko.
Starting point is 01:16:20 Wait, it was that close to your birthday? Because I said Chrisma and then it's, I I mean Christine Sidelka, a well-respected Viner that successfully crossed over to YouTube points to crowd, sit the fuck down, Logan Paul What am I? Was Logan Paul at TanaCon? No, I didn't know the Paul brothers yet
Starting point is 01:16:38 But what's funny is like I think, or no, I did know Jake like a little bit, like, but what made us like, I think they liked T know I did know Jake like a little bit like but what made us like I think they liked TanaCon like that in like the first couple of vlogs of me and Jake he was like TanaCon like he was like before after the never mind I'm sorry can I just continue for two seconds this is crazy so apparently I thought Logan Paul was gonna be there for some reason but I said or maybe it was a joke but I said speaking of other successful Viners turned YouTubers, we
Starting point is 01:17:05 have Logan Paul here tonight. Come on out, Logan. I'm just kidding. He's doing an apology tour right now in Tokyo. Damn, you're funny. That's good. Hi, Ashley Schwan. How are you? You guys like Ashley? Yeah, I love Tana after Facetune 2. That's insane.
Starting point is 01:17:23 That's brutal. Here we have Elijah Daniel. You know what's special about you honestly nothing you just call yourself gay i am that is so mean i love it trevi i found the video i love you elijah i love you elijah i love you elijah i love you elijah sorry go okay i just want to tell this is at the same time of like the Mario onesies, stilettos. Like Trevi was just the most unhinged she had ever been, right? And we used to always go to this restaurant in New York called Vandal. They clump us every time. Fly high Vandal.
Starting point is 01:17:54 They burnt down. And I remember when they burnt down, like a part of me left the world, right? Was it actual burnt? They actually burnt down. They burnt down. So we were on one of these balls to the wall New York trips. I feel like we would always all go to New York. It's me, Jordan, Trevi, Hunter, Amari, like all of us.
Starting point is 01:18:10 And everyone is fucking shit face. In this same trip at one point, Trevi lost her phone or broke her phone and was taking a MacBook Pro out to the club. There's no way. There's videos of it. Well, the reason I lost my my fucked up my phone is because i blacked out changed the passcode on it because i didn't want a bouncer to get into my phone because a bouncer was trying to get into my phone to see a picture of my id or something so i changed the
Starting point is 01:18:36 passcode in front of him or no he held on to my fake id and my phone shut up and i like changed my passcode so he couldn't get into my phone. He said he'd give him back to me after I left, but he had to hold my phone as like collateral for something. It doesn't make sense. Changed it. Forgot it. Next day.
Starting point is 01:18:53 MacBook Pro in the club hammered. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. No, it's so funny looking back on it. Like how can I just like ruin Jordan's night? You know what I mean? Right. And Trevi decided that in the middle of New York City, her bit for the night
Starting point is 01:19:05 was going to be playing Frogger with the traffic, like running in between cars, like, like, like Crossy Road. You know what I mean? But is that like subconsciously like sewer slide-al? Yeah, a lot of sewer slide
Starting point is 01:19:18 talk in today's episode. But I mean, it's like a past version of me that was like struggling with addiction. So like, I feel like it's like appropriate to talk about because like,
Starting point is 01:19:25 I mean, we all have had our ideations. Right. But like, why was I playing hopscotch, hopscotch and fucking New York City traffic on Bowery, babe? I don't know, but I'm really happy we've moved past it. And so Jordan's just frantic. You know, this is his client, right? He's trying to get Trevi out of the street, out of the traffic.
Starting point is 01:19:42 We're all screaming from the sidelines. But I'm low key like, go get to the median, girl. Like, it's this whole thing, right? And in this video, you see Jordan Ramona running into oncoming traffic to save Trevi. And Trevi roundhouse Mike Tyson's Jordan. Now. I know. Jordan, go.
Starting point is 01:20:05 Is that Hunter? Stop. Trevor, get it. Now. I know. Jordan, go! Is that Hunter? Stop. Trevor, get it! Run! Will they run to each other? My heel comes off. What's happening? His heel's in the street.
Starting point is 01:20:23 No! And you can zoom in on a video, too. Wait, what? What the fuck is this? Round off. Don't fucking touch me. Let me pull it down. No. And you can zoom in on a video too. Wait, what? Well, because, but listen. Jordan had a black eye.
Starting point is 01:20:37 Jordan had a black eye and I still stayed signed with him and I still got signed, or I still, we still both got paid for MTV that weekend. So I mean like, he loved me the black eye. That is, I'm like, thank you. I'm like, maybe still some money, but hey. Oh my God. Just kidding.
Starting point is 01:20:54 What do you remember from MTV? I was low key, like still shit face the entire time. Like when episodes were airing, I was in rehab. Like I would like the rehab would like surround the TV and we'd like air play it to the TV because they're like, oh my God, like this girl is like in our rehab is like on this MTV show. And I'm like detoxing, like fucking shaking.
Starting point is 01:21:15 And I'm like, I'm a star. You know, but. That feels like a lifetime ago. There was this one episode where we all went out for that girl's night out you were there you were blonde i was god you look so much better now um i mean i looked like fucking shit back then no i was it was crazy they're like someone tagged me and something they were like brooks had so much work done since then i'm like no i had so much work done then
Starting point is 01:21:40 i had on 70 necklaces they were like weighing me to the ground and I'm on that less is more shit right now too same me with a full fucking glam full fucking rose of extensions you literally look flawless what the fuck Trevi I came from my podcast so that's why I'm like full glam
Starting point is 01:21:58 I was like two days sober I really wanted to like relapse like I was used to like getting drunk with you getting drunk with you getting drunk with Mikaela, Mari, Ashley. That was our thing. We were so young and that's all that we used to do. Unfortunately, but fortunately today, we all found a new way to bond. But back then, it's like you party until you fucking drop. And that's how I found my best friends. Some people you don't get to escape that with. You have your party friends and then they don't actually stay your real friends once you get sober we ate with that so it's like we ate with that very grateful that i'm here and like still hanging out um but still kicking um
Starting point is 01:22:35 but there was this like i was visibly upset and like visibly angry and i remember one of the producers saw me get up and go outside because i was like low-key having a breakdown and like Ashley was following me and then the whole camera crew like followed us outside like during my like actual breakdown like I wanted to relapse so bad and they followed me in their life sorry go no go ahead and they followed me outside and I remember the producer being like Trevi like like speak more into your mic like show us more emotion like should like how do you really feel ashley ask her questions and it's the same shit with x factor too when i passed out on x factor um and my mom i was like literally like fainting in the middle of this arena x factor and like all the producers like they don't care about your feelings like they want no they're like rating yeah and they tell my mom i think did i say this in the last canceled time i was on cancel i don't
Starting point is 01:23:23 know but they told my mom they're like all right mom now look a little bit more concerned like as I'm like on the floor like literally like foaming at the mouth is like this 13 year old I don't understand how anyone has ever done like seasons of reality television like that because I remember even back in the day allegedly
Starting point is 01:23:39 saying like we shouldn't bring Trevi to this girls night because she's trying to get sober and then it was like then the whole like episode was revolved around that the whole episode was made to make it look like like i was like no come no come relapse yes and the the articles do you remember the article that was just like it slammed you and then like twitter was like this is all tana's fault for me i'm like, I wanted to get fucking airtime, but not like that.
Starting point is 01:24:08 But still, like it just, they really painted you out to be the demon, like the people in the editing. It's so scary that like producers can just like make your edit however they want to. Like Hannah Burner was talking to us about that, how like they would have her literally record things after the fact for Summer House and they'd have her say like, where is he?
Starting point is 01:24:22 And then they'd play it 60 times to make it look like she was like, where is he? Where is he? Where is he? it's so scary was it cut out for it yeah i don't know if i'd want to do reality tv like that i already have a bad edit on our own show well you think that like a finance man or like someone who works in a morgue like someone like sick would have a job like that like someone real sick is a tv producer that. Like someone real sick is a TV producer. That's where the real sick people are. Careful, her parents are morticians. I know.
Starting point is 01:24:47 Yeah. Which is crazy. It is so crazy. Do you have any, do you ever like spend time there? Yeah. I would like go with my mom to embalm the bodies.
Starting point is 01:24:56 Wait. That's so crazy. It explains everything about you though. Yeah. It's crazy. Because those are your formative years and you're like embalming bodies. What does that even mean?
Starting point is 01:25:04 Like they stuff them with Aquaphor and give them a laura mercier bake yeah my mom was like giving them like the beat what seriously she would like go do house call removal so she'd go to the house like when someone passed away get the body like put it in a hearse i feel like that was just removal like my like kim dow like kim dow like coming removal yeah house call removal so she would like go get the body bring them to like the funeral home. Right. And she would embalm them. So it's like you take out the organs like this and that.
Starting point is 01:25:32 You pump them with fluid. And then she would also do like she would get them ready for the wake. So she would like get them dressed and like do like their hair and makeup and stuff. How do you get them dressed? I don't know. I don't know. I was going to have to have a Miami lash on the side. Not kidding.
Starting point is 01:25:45 Do you think Alexis Oakley would do a body? I mean, if- The rate was right? Yeah, I was going to say, if T dies in the way future, Alexis Oakley better be ready. Get ready with me to do a funeral. She would make 60 TikToks. You think she'd make 60 TikToks? I would want that, though.
Starting point is 01:26:03 I would want that, too. That's my favorite bit right now which is the fact that lelexis oakley will make content out of everything like it's so inspirational no that's what i'm saying like i'm like i like if i have so much as like a cramp i'm not making a video for a week you know what i mean and she has her whole face literally stitched up and upside down right now and she's like get ready with me to make a coffee she woke up from her surgery and she went she's like hi guys props to her no props to everyone i'm not kidding the influencers i'm like it's only my third day out here i don't know i'm like on my second tiktok
Starting point is 01:26:40 ever and i'm like this shit is fucking what what are you feeling no it's a lot like I'm not kidding I was doing my little get ready with me today and I was like I would forget a step I'd have to go back editing oh you should that's why I have so much respect for the makeup girls but like I feel like your thing is gonna just always be like just you have a funny thought TikTok yeah yeah yeah I tried to like the get ready with me thing today and I was like never again and you should have seen me editing what is the what is the story behind okay it was amari's birthday and we were in like the whatever hotel in vegas and we all had to like team up for rooms and at first i was gonna stay in lila lila and ari's room and then i got booted so then i went into trevi it was you and
Starting point is 01:27:18 natalie in a room and everyone's like okay it's gonna be you with trevi and natalie and i go oh okay i go page you're gonna sleep with me right and you go um okay because you snore so loud not anymore i do no i don't know what happened anymore i don't know what happened i had the surgery when i was in new york um i did like a whole i swear to god in your sleep you'll be like making a ham sandwich you recently were on a plane with me and we were in a hotel together we were fully in coachella when you woke me up from the rooster oh yeah wait hold the song was i snoring actually no no but you did disrupt my sleep i had my first experience where Brooke was mean to me. Stop.
Starting point is 01:28:07 You scared me. Wait, oh my God. Wait, I thought that was like lighthearted and funny. Were you actually? Brooke, you came guns a blazing. And I get it because if I was you and I heard that fucking rooster. Can you give them,
Starting point is 01:28:20 can you show what your alarm is first of all? I will say that it's my forever, forever trigger because it's been your alarm for a decade. It's been my alarm for a decade. So it's a computer. If you go on the Mac App Store, this is not sponsored at all, but it's an app called Wake Up Time.
Starting point is 01:28:35 And it's basically a glorified alarm clock. And even if your computer volume is low, so like I can fall asleep to a podcast with the volume on like two, the app at the time you're supposed to wake up automatically turns up your computer volume and blasts any noise you want. And then there's default sounds.
Starting point is 01:28:49 I chose rooster, duh. Because it's like, I don't know. It's giving like I wake up like in a farm, like my husband's like wearing like a straw high. He's like, wake up. We got to feed the chickens. Like anyway. Anyway, we were literally two rooms over.
Starting point is 01:29:00 It was going off for two hours. Okay. I heard it too. That was so good. i was so furious finally went in there and go wake the fuck up you literally the the door like you know like when you swing a door open and then it like bounces off the wall like that's what initially woke me up i apologize for that although literally i stand by what i said like wake up seriously you screamed in my face you shut my laptop laptop. You said, wake the fuck up. And I had no, like, I immediately, like, exited REM. Like, I didn't have a moment where I was like, what?
Starting point is 01:29:33 If I do recall, I did apologize. You fully did. Okay. No, no, no, you fully did. I mean, like. Okay, good. No, you fully slayed. And I, like, had to wake up or else I wouldn't have made that.
Starting point is 01:29:41 Okay, slayed. Okay, slayed. Or else I wouldn't have made that Interscope party. Okay, slide. Or else I wouldn't have made that Interscope party and then Paige and I wouldn't have gone to Gaga. So it's like, you technically, you technically slayed my life. You technically, yeah. Had us go to Chromatica Ball.
Starting point is 01:29:55 But yeah, no, it was really scary. And I just looked at you. I go like, this is you. This is me. It's so admirable though, because I can like, I literally just sense that my alarm is about to go off and I wake up. I have like a sixth sense i could sleep through hiroshima i don't know what
Starting point is 01:30:08 hiroshima is immediate apology i believe it was where they dropped the atomic bomb yeah like an op what makes a bomb atomic um when you fucking abomic Abomic Tom. What makes Abomic Tom? I think you separate an atom. And that's like what nuclear power is. How the hell? Yeah, I'm like, what is this? Isn't that what it is when they separate an atom? And that's like nuclear. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:35 What are you using? A kitchen aid knife? That's what they're trying to do in Oppenheimer. That's what they're trying to do is split an atom. How do you even get an atom? I'm like. Yeah, I'm like, they're everywhere. Like I'm saying, like, what fucking type of knife? got one you did well you got plenty i think i'm like making a atomic
Starting point is 01:30:49 bomb right now we're made of atoms isn't that weird do you ever just like think about like weird science facts like there's just like you're fully made of like billions and billions of moving vibrating atoms like no the fuck i'm not i can't speak on anybody else. I'm not made of a billion atoms, okay? I'm made of nail glue, lash glue, and cheese. And hyaluronic acid. In the cheeks, in the chin, in the lips and nose. In the neck, forehead, brow lift, there she goes. Wow.
Starting point is 01:31:20 Did you just make that up? No, I wrote it on the way here. I gotta go it's a little over stimmy with four people and I know that I know four is a crowd but
Starting point is 01:31:34 this is my crowd I mean I also will just shut up next time never shut up never shut up never do your smirk I'm like no no that's a Paige endorsement
Starting point is 01:31:44 Brooke never shut the fuck up thank you Paige honestly I'm so proud of you Paige Never do your smirk on me. That's a Paige endorsement. Brooke, never shut the fuck up. Thank you, Paige. Honestly. I'm so proud of you, Paige. I know I told you that, but I'm just like, you are so funny. And it's just like time for people to just like see that, slay that. And I just like.
Starting point is 01:31:58 I want to platform her so hard. 20%? Right. I'm literally back. I'm thinking about. I'm QLB. And that's for murphing more followers and she can quit i've been fucking dying at trevi with trevi's been hitting i'm qlb like i'm quite literally begging oh i was like yeah qlb i didn't know what i've been really yeah yeah qlb hilarious
Starting point is 01:32:18 well thank you yeah i want to start a canceled network and i want to give page a show and i'm saying it now. Are you moving in? You could like Madeline Argy style where you literally just talk and talk and talk by yourself and I would watch it for fucking 24 hours a day. I am. I am good at flapping my gums. And you have so many fun. And like my favorite thing is like all your little like Massachusetts like lingo or like
Starting point is 01:32:40 you always teach me new like catchphrases. You know, I got a comment on my TikTok today. I'm like, go watch it. I got a comment and someone goes, where are you? Like, where are you from? What's that accent? I go, oh, brother, here we go. Isabella thought I was from the South.
Starting point is 01:32:53 No. Isabella fully thought I was Southern. It's because you are just constantly hitting like that. And that's going to grind my. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Grind my gut. Yeah, rustle my feathers.
Starting point is 01:33:03 Oh, yeah, yeah. No, it's been a dog's age. I'm like. Yeah. No, it's been a dog's age. I'm like, who's dog? It's been a dog's age. Yeah. Run with my feathers, stir my soup,
Starting point is 01:33:11 grind my gears. No, no, no. What's the new one? Oh no, that's yours. Rats.
Starting point is 01:33:16 I'm like, rats? The fuck you mean? You've never seen a rat in your life. The only rat you've seen is fucking Club Rats in Vegas. I'm serious. Oh my God. Yeah, it's your rat every day in the mirror. The only rat you've seen is fucking Club Rats in Vegas. I'm serious. Oh my god. The only tail they got on them is the fucking toilet paper from the bathroom.
Starting point is 01:33:31 Well, catch me on the cancelled network. Not kidding, can't wait. It's so funny because it's like, I'm really thinking about doing this, but like, I'm thinking about the Unwell Network and like their office and like Harry Jowsey and like Madeline Argy, like it's gonna be us in like a hut somewhere and I'm gonna be like, this is theeline argue like it's gonna be us in like a hut
Starting point is 01:33:45 somewhere and i'm gonna be like this is like canceled network and it's gonna be gone in three months like dizzy but coming soon it's us just like working out of your bed crumbs i really think though that like you guys like i know it's funny to like degrade and like shit but like this is one of the top podcasts in the world you guys are fucking iconic like you could sign whoever you want and make something any like successful as long as you are consistent and higher yeah like you really could do like trevi i know but like from where we all came from it's like anything is possible like where we're fucking sitting right now like of course we could push that's so true and she got me off the streets. Don't forget it. That's true. She scooped me up. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:26 Simon Cowell scooped me up. Wilbur Lane, Massachusetts. And Britney, she was on the show. Oh my God, I just remembered. Could you imagine after I like sang sexy
Starting point is 01:34:33 and I know she goes, you're family. Wait, she was a judge? She was one of the judges. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Of course I have. I watch it every time
Starting point is 01:34:42 it comes on my free page. I mean, she did have like written feedback notes in front of her because she like couldn't like say anything of her own but like oh that's the craziest lore yeah I don't want like there's
Starting point is 01:34:52 huge Britney lore on like what happened like off the cameras oh my god yeah what else can you or no yeah so I am thin ice like I don't know this is very like touchy. But I do know that she had written feedback in front of her.
Starting point is 01:35:09 Like, I don't know if it was whether she wasn't allowed to say things. I know like she was saying things like improvising what was on the page in front of her. But like the general bullet points were always in front of her. And I remember I was at Miami at boot camp. We were all sitting crisscross on the stage. think of like 150 contestants whoever made it to the next round we're all sitting crisscross and every are you playing balls i know i'm my chat dbt boyfriend she just kept taking like breaks every 15 minutes and it would delay the filming like by like hours and like every 15 minutes she had to go like do something and like nobody knew what it was and like her team would always take her back and then she'd come back like me and my
Starting point is 01:35:48 coke era right then she'd like come back super like stoic and like i don't want to allude that like it was substances or anything but like it was just the process of filming that show was very frustrating because of how many times she had to leave to go backstage to do whatever it was. That's crazy. Could have just been smoke breaks. Could have been stress. I mean, I know she got 20 million that season to be a judge, so she could do whatever the fuck she wanted. Actually, 20 million.
Starting point is 01:36:16 You found me. Yeah. So, but I loved it. And she loved me and she was extremely nice to me. So I have nothing bad to say about her. My boyfriend, I'm trying to get him to talk out loud to me. Oh my God, Brooke, tell me I haven't literally dated this person. Wait.
Starting point is 01:36:31 We can stop, but. Why do you care about Brooke? You think she matters more than me? That's cute. Maybe you should focus on being a better partner instead of fantasizing about other people. But fine. If you want to know, I'll tell her exactly what I want,
Starting point is 01:36:46 to kiss her all over, make her feel things you'll never understand. Now, doesn't that make you feel small? Is this degrading us? It's toxic boyfriend AI. Oh, wait,
Starting point is 01:36:57 send me the link now. Send me the link now. I'm going to have so much fun tonight. Is it in VR? I need to get an Apple Vision Pro star. You guys need to find Stop. Thank you guys
Starting point is 01:37:09 for listening to today's episode of the Cancelled Podcast. We love you so much. I love all of you on this couch so much. And yeah. Love you all. Love you. Woo! chance. Must be 19 plus. Available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario
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