Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 87: TANA IS BEEFING WITH WIZ KHALIFA AND WILL SMITH… - Ep. 87

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

This episode of the Cancelled podcast we recap the tour and appreciate each other’s friendship. Tana reflects on her sobriety and we find out why she’s beefing with Will Smith and Wiz Khalifa! https://Adamandeve.com Offer is 50% off almost any item + FREE SHIPPING + RUSH PROCESSING Code is TANA Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A To listen to the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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From tires to auto repair, we're always there, treadexperts.ca. Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. Elvis was born. Baby Elvis was born. I'm really fucked up about it because first of all, she's told us a thousand times that it's a girl. In my head, it was still a boy all along. So now that there's been a baby girl born, I'm like confused. There's something about their just like family of four that makes me so happy. It's cute she gave birth may 24th so it's been a while actually i just didn't know i didn't know

until somebody posted her from the back at the four seasons with the little carriage that was crazy people are crazy yeah you can't do that to people like i just i forget that like the fame of it all because like you know what i mean like i in my head, it's that's our Trish. That's our girl. I'm so excited. I can't wait to meet her. Last night. I've never even met Malibu.

You've never met Malibu? No. You're going to gag and die. I know. And she's my favorite kid ever. I'm so obsessed with her. She's literally absolutely everything. So calm and cute and stuff.

Last night at like 2am, I was going to text Trisha to come on. And I was like, Tana, put your phone down. It is not time for her to come on. Not only is it 2 gonna text Trisha to come on and I was like Tana put your phone down it is not time for her not only is it 2 a.m. Trisha's not awake not only like like she just gave birth like stop I know I just watched her episode like she's already filming the podcast again like she's just slaying people who can just give birth and immediately keep it moving are fucking superheroes I would make it my personality for the whole year I'd waddle around it's another one of those things where it's like I can't believe everybody goes through that like at the same way I feel about a breakup like I went through a breakup and I was like there's no way this is

what everybody else has gone through like there's literally no way and like the fact that birth is so hard and like everyone just does it like what I talk about this all the time so I'll keep it at at bay okay but like I i don't understand how anyone goes through pregnancy and like the way pregnant people like jump but some people love to be pregnant like like if i was pregnant and i jumped i would immediately have to kill myself like i couldn't handle it like emotionally handle doing anything like imagine how they feel in there just bopping their head around i'm saying and then it's like it just comes out of you and you're like whoa This was just in me this came out of my I know sometimes a super plus tampon

I'm like holy I just gave birth right um wall ripping you know what I mean It's but like yeah when you take out a dry tampon Oh my gosh Taking out a dry tampon To me Is giving birth Like I couldn't do Anything for that Well Trisha had a c-section She had a scheduled c-section

That's actually That's a slight She said she just woke up And there was a baby there Oh Oh my god Yeah I would have to do A c-section

I agree Like just get it out of me I think I wonder why Everybody doesn't do that Cause like then You don't have to worry About like pissing yourself after

And like You don't have to wear diapers Like after a real birth hole yeah i know that would happen to me i couldn't agree more like that would just definitely happen i would shit myself so what happens in that scenario you just have one large hole yeah everything's combined yeah i just oh that wouldn't have been good for you especially everything you've been going through we're back from tour guys we did it first of all we did i i can't believe we did it i really can't i think that you and i both like when we first got all the dates it was obviously very exciting and you know what i mean but i was also trying to be realistic like no one's getting through these

yeah like in the back of my head i'm like there's no way we're gonna be able to do this but like we have to try our best and like you don't want to say that out loud like I don't even want to say that to you like there's no way we can no but I was telling everyone on the side I'm like yeah we'll see dead ass it was just like and like you have said like Whitney Cummings and Hannah Berner and people who do this reaching out and being like how are you gonna do that was like yeah remember we had Trevor here and he was like that's like really an insane schedule like are you guys sure and it was yeah I mean it feels very nice to prove all of the people who doubted us and publicly doubted us wrong wait should we talk about the Dave Portnoy thing for a second because honestly it

kind of cracks me up that we made such a stink about it you guys fun fact like me and tana have like run home with this like concept that dave portnoy doubted us and he said we would never do it and we were the scum of this earth like and we've been like dying on that hill the definition of like telephone it was like two delusional bitches telling each other like exactly worse than that was like a version of like believing starting to believe your own lies like but i never thought it was a lie like i have this vision of us watching this clip i can remember it in my head but it doesn't exist please help us out canceled viewers like if you're bored too like because i still like i still refuse i there's

a clip somewhere of dave portnoy saying there's no way they'll ever make it through these dates i like i'm dying on that hill i swear it exists and so the whole tour we're like i'm dying we're going out on stage show 45 and we're like we gotta do this dave portnoy doubted us and then we went back to watch the clip on our final show like on, we went, like, on our final show, we were like, you know what? We should find the clip and, like, make something about it. And it's not, there's no. It's like him saying Tana's a flake and, like, them saying Brooke will keep her accountable. Like, duh. Yeah, like, nothing rude was said at all.

But I know he was doubting us whether he's vocalized it or not. Well, for sure. As everyone was. And, like, valid as fuck. You know what I mean? But it's like, like, you and you know what I mean but it's like like you and I are the type of bitches to like really harp on something like or like especially a man like a man doubts us like we're making that our whole personality for sure so

it's like everything I do is to spite someone who has not believed in me I couldn't agree oh I went so far as to make one of those little dancing edits of Dave Bortnoy so that I could like put on the screen like dance if Tana and brooke made it all the way through the door but like i couldn't even post it because like he never fucking said that i'm imagining if you didn't fact check it and just post it you'd have been like, Brooke Schofield posted this. I don't even know what she's talking about. Oh my God. We're idiots.

Fucking idiots. He lost Miss Peaches. Did you see that? Oh my God. But then he found her. That's good. I would have been so distraught if Miss Peaches was gone for good.

Although if I saw Miss Peaches on the road, I'm taking her for ransom. Million dollar ransom, literally. More. And I know he would pay up oh my god i just saw a video of her eating like catch steak or something i was like that dog lives so much better than me i tried to get this new cat named wookie and i got scammed what do you mean i found a cat another cat and it was like the same thing that happened with murphy where i like went on pet finder and it just jumped out at me and i knew that was him. Okay. Because I want to have a boy cat.

And he had webbed toes. Yeah. He had, he was an extra toes cat and his ears were curled. Okay. So he was really special. And I was like, oh my God, this is a unicorn. I can't believe I found this cat on Pet Finder. And I reached out.

I went like, I applied on every single platform that you could apply on. I sent them emails and stuff, nothing. And I was like I applied on every single platform that you could apply on I sent them emails and stuff nothing and I was like I was beginning to lose hope and then I got a text that said I am Wookiee's foster would you like to meet Wookiee? Wookiee is the funniest name ever. I said please I'm begging in fact I'm gonna send them another text right now. Oh and they ghosted you? I said yes can I please meet Wookiee and then they just never said anything about it. Wookiee left you on scene? Wookiee left me on scene oh and then they said apply i applied seven times that's happening to me right now with cabo birthday houses with mexico birthday houses i can't seem to book a house for this trip to save my life

and i just need opulence what do you want yeah what are you looking for well i applied for this house that had a water slide that landed to a pool that was on the beach. Okay. Okay. Well, it sounds like you might be shooting too high. Well, think about how much I love to be like airborne jumping into the water. I don't think I've ever seen you airborne. You know the photo.

You know the photo. Oh, I do. Okay. But that was not tandem. I was riding a bicycle in the air. Like, I just want to be able to do that. Wait, can we insert the photo? Yes, we can insert the photo.

Super important. The Turks trip was just like, nothing will ever be like that ever again. I'm probably for the best, but it honestly, it was something that had to happen in our lives and I'll think about it for the rest of my life. The memeable like content from that trip, like in our friend group,

like the one photo of me with the watch on in the water and my eyes we'll insert that one as well or the one where you're bent backwards on the on the um pool noodle like my limbs and your tits are just out i was so i was naked yeah you were naked because you jumped into the pool with your fucking designer dress on and then we had to pull it off of you those photos of me too i'm so sorry these were really i thought i wish that they knew what we were saying right now because they would be cracking we'll insert them but i um kylie jenner wore this dress and then justine brought it to me and like no one else had wore it yet except for kylie jenner and i was like i can't wait to wear this on my birthday trip and surf and then i have on peppa ears on the beach and i'm crawling in these photos and she goes take pictures of me and she

the pose that she was doing in all of these photos it was it was like no paparazzi like what are you why are you taking a photo of me but i'm like you begged me to take these images and i'd had so many like big like big frozen drinks. I burst out the zipper. I jumped in the pool in my dress. Like you're not giving Kylie, you're giving Wookie. You were giving Wookie. And you fell out of your chair like seven times to the point where I think we had to just confiscate it. Have I told this story on the podcast?

I think so. But I think you should give him a quick refresher. We're all at my birthday dinner on the beach. And mind you, it's just beautiful. Like, in any other world, this would be wholesome. But I don't know why I thought that, like, the sweet, wholesome, beautiful birthday dinner should be after Noah's Ark,

which is the bar in the middle of the Turks Ocean that everyone goes to to get, like, the most hammered of their life. And so Amari threw up on Kyla. Like, you know, it was I like it was everyone was a mess including me I was probably the most of a mess and I'm sitting at the head of the table in the sand at this table and chairs and I just remember all I remember like how like you saw it but like I have the POV you know what I mean yeah just everything continuing to go sideways and then I would see stars and then sideways and then stars and then sideways like I just I was so drunk I couldn't

sit up in the chair no one is even trying to catch you at a certain point because it's like there she goes and I finally I turned to Joey Joy who's sitting next to me and I'm like and I'm like being like about it too I'm like it's during my birthday like my chair won't sit up straight like you have just switched to the mirror right now and you know Joey he's like okay like let's okay here take my chair and I just remember we switched chairs and finally I'm like thank god like it was the chair and then all of a sudden sideways stars I just remember it was you looking at the stars and I was like oh fuck it's me. It was so you but you know what it was

such a fun time. I am happy you're sober though I think we really have. I spent an entire night talking to one of the butler guys he only spoke Russian Russian maybe and I was talking to him on Google Translate till 4am like what were you saying to Pasha? Leave him alone. He didn't know either yeah. He didn't know at all. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel,

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From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there, helping you with Kumo tires you can trust. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca I really want to have a drink on my birthday.

I don't think you should. I don't think it's what it's called cracked up to be. I know, but it so is. And maybe I'm just in this wave right now where I'm convincing myself that it so is and it isn't. It just obviously sobriety is hard and I I have never gone on this sober journey with the intention of it being like forever forever and I say that because it's like I love all of and this goes for drinking and sobriety like the good sides of sobriety and the good sides of drinking and obviously there are bad sides to for drinking and sobriety like the good sides of sobriety and the good sides

of drinking and obviously there are bad sides to both obviously with sobriety they are less detrimental the bad sides but the bad side for me is how bored I am all the time like and my social battery and my back hurts so goddamn bad I I would love to take the edge off. And like, I would love to be able to have a drink with all my friends. I would love to be able to have a glass of wine at dinner. Like I, but you can't,

I know. And I, I'm at this point and I already know what people are going to say to this. And I'm trying to convince myself otherwise, but to me, sobriety forever feels like defeat. and I know you can look at it as like so does like relapsing so drinking can be defeat you know what I mean but like it's one of those things in the way that I like want a house or want a car like I want to be able to drink

moderately more than anything in the fucking world I want it so bad like i would know so i feel like that would be your perfect world was just it like would just be to learn moderation i've been and i've been reading so much about there's such a thing as learning like do people ever say that they were able to like change that way there are lots of people who do and there are lots of people who don't you know and it's i've been doing like a lot of research and like i definitely if i were to do it wouldn't just want to i feel like i raw dog everything like how i am in life like i'm like i'm gonna go sober and just do it on my own and like i would definitely want like help with that and like to learn and stuff yeah do you think it has anything to do with your environment though because

like i feel like none of us ever go out with the intent to stop drinking or to drink moderately and like i do like i never have more than like a couple drinks but like we're always all just like pounding shots and stuff but I think the reason I never have more than a couple drinks is because like most of the time I'm just going out with like a couple friends to dinner and it's like we're not ordering 17 drinks we have like two and I innately am the type of person where even if I went out to dinner with a couple friends I would want to have like hella drinks and then I want I would want to go have a night like it would be about me really really really fighting what my body and brain naturally wants to do you know what I mean and even like Paige will go out and if everyone's pounding shots she'll have her like five shots but

then she goes home like I would have my five shots and need five more and go to an after party and do a bunch of fucking shit i'm gonna regret like i wish there was and there's not a stop yeah it's amazing like not amazing but like i've always been like i cannot believe you can even still keep going after a certain point but i think that that's what's true for me and page both of us are on antidepressants we cannot drink more than a couple drinks without it literally taking us out like we both like that i would i would be passed out before i could even start posting the tiktoks you were posting you know what i mean like yeah it wouldn't happen i don't know if that's necessarily why but i'm just in such a happy healthy relationship like it's i was really thinking about this last night like how much

i never want to be like this person brought me out of like darkness because you bring yourself out of darkness but like my motivation to be better for someone else on top of being better for myself like i don't want him to be dating drink it drunk awful fucking tana you know what i mean yeah also how does he have he really doesn't have any experience with that too he does does he that's how we met you met drunk yeah and like for a few months like well that's good at least not good and i you know what i mean though like like he you know what i mean like he loves me always but like yeah i just i don't know it's just like i want to go to to Mexico with all my friends and be able to celebrate these months of hard work

and dedication and wholesome and like come home and then be wholesome again. I want to. Yeah, that's what I was, I guess, kind of trying to get at. I was like, I wonder if it depends on the friends. Like in the past, it's always been like, you know, all the like most delinquents and stuff. And I feel like now you have a lot more people in your life

who are like more, a little more wholesome yesterday i got lunch with everyone and was kind of talking about it with them as well and i think that i never want to put it on anyone else you know what i mean like oh they'll hold me accountable yeah but a few drinks but like that it's i'm vocalizing everything so i feel like everyone's on this journey with me you know of course i would love for you to stay sober forever but at the same time I also I feel like if I were to say like absolutely not no that's when people end up like sneaky drinking no I would never do that I really wouldn't I would just be honest with you you know everyone but it's I just want what everyone else is able to have so badly and I'm the type of person

that when I want something so badly I will lock in and get it like you know what I mean like yeah I will dedicate myself to figuring out how to become this type of person that I want to be I will dedicate myself to being able to drink moderately but it is just a scary slippery very easy yeah it's like walking on a tight rope and getting to the other side you know and like and maybe i'll drink again and i don't know like not want to be like i feel like i've just spent so much time not being hung over and yada yada that i don't want to feel like that ever again yeah but i don't know it's hard like and a lot of people i know a lot of people die on the hill of alcoholics can never drink again and i know i's hard like and a lot of people i know a lot of people die on the hill of

alcoholics can never drink again and i know i can already see so many comments of like people usually relapse three times before they go sober for life and like whatever and it's like i just don't want to be that fucking statistic like i want to drink fucking moderately so bad yeah not have to have these like extreme sober yeah like i i absolutely hate that i'm so yin or yang and everything i do and i would love to find happy mediums in i wish there was like a literal way to like cut yourself off like a physical way to cut yourself there's a medicine called naltrexone that trevi was telling me about like heroin addicts and shit used to do that like but it works for alcohol because it turns off your brain like how

much dopamine you receive when you're so it it changes your dopamine yeah i don't like how you respond i mean i just don't know what i'm gonna do it's obviously like it's it is it feels easier to just be sober forever but like sadder to me and way less fun i get what you're saying like but i also i'm in a point where i don't get what you're even talking about because it's like well maybe because i drink so often i don't drink heavily but i drink very often like almost every day and it's i don't feel the same from it i don't like i don't get like happy like and you know when you first start drinking and like you have that feeling where you're like oh my gosh i'm starting I haven't felt that in I definitely do feel that

but that's probably not good but also don't do it for six months and then think that's what I'm saying I think that I've gotten myself to that point but it's because of touring and stuff I was obviously drinking so constantly and in my head I can always find an excuse to drink because I don't really have like I'm like I drink every day I don't have a drinking problem but I don't have like a problem stopping myself so I'm like whatever like yeah it's my it's moderate it's like having dessert every night like you're able to like you know what I mean yeah but I've also like I've almost like built myself up to the point where it literally is like it's it has no value it changes nothing that's true I just and I don't want when I say that I'm

bored and I'm not having fun for people to mistake that. Like there is sober fun. Like I enjoy sitting with my friends and fucking talking and laughing. I enjoy playing poker. I enjoy fucking going shopping. I enjoy doing this. I enjoy other things. It's just like taking the edge off, letting a little loose,

like have like dancing with all your friends after some drinks. Like, you know what I mean? Like drinking a wine and having the giggles and like my bat, my scoliosis doesn't hurt so fucking bad. Yeah. but just keep in mind all of the things like everything's happening exactly the same you're just feeling you just feel different so it's like your back still hurts I just don't know about it that's that is I yeah I just would love to not know about it for five you know but well I mean we'll see I get that why don't we get you a back brace there has to be

steps before relapse i know i know it's and i don't it's not just that you're saying i know what you're saying it's just tough because it's like i know and i would just love to be able to like celebrate like drink my like have a glass of champagne on my birthday and celebrate like and it not be this toxic relationship i'm just trying to like find a way to rewrite this and like i'll see i'm not gonna go crazy balls to the walls i was talking about this all day the other day and i went and watched the amy winehouse movie and at the very end of the movie it just cuts to a black screen that was like amy died on da da da after drinking after a long stint of sobriety and i was like oopsie yeah is this fucking play about us yeah like fuck you know i mean so i don't know i really don't i mean i want to be safe

and i want to be healthy and i want to be happy and i want to be the best me i can be and if it's a flat or a squeal a wobbler peel your dreads worn down or you need a new wheel wherever you go the best me I can be. adventure AT-52 tires. Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound?

I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there helping you with michelin tires you can trust until may 30th receive up to 70 by prepaid mastercard with purchase of four new michelin passenger or light truck tires find your pro at your local tread experts from tires to auto repair we're always there what if we all went sober?

And then you wouldn't feel so sad. No, it's not that. It's because I'm able to sit around everyone else drinking and it's not like I feel like not included. Yeah, y'all hear that? It's more like a sadness of like, I wish I could be like everyone else and be moderate. But you're so much better than everyone else. I love you. You're sober and rich and famous i really do love you i love you too well i think your birthday is going to be fun whether you drink or not i agree um of course last all your birthdays

of tana's past have been blackout fests and i don't want that i don't want that at all and i've had like lovely conversations with everyone where they know and respect that. And I think like I definitely want it to give a little more wellness retreat vibes than it ever has. I just came back from a wellness retreat. How was it? I'll write you a little itinerary.

I, that trip was so fucking fun. It was. You actually inspired me to want to go to Mexico. I was like brooke is the right thing it's just so amazing there and literally everybody's so much nicer in mexico i don't know what it is but like oh i love it there so much and it's such a quick fight i went with alo moves and literally it was it was the most extravagant thing i've never even really been on a band i've been on one burn trip i think but this was just like the most

extravagant thing i've ever seen i had a swimming pool in my room waldor fucking and the gifting was crazy like when i saw your closet i was like there's no way they just gave her a whole new fucking wardrobe just obviously aloe's got budget but like just the amount of thought that they put into everything was so fucking crazy it was so fun so cute and everybody there was like literally amazing all the trainers because it was like it was six of us like influencers and then like probably six trainers i think they're smarter to do a way smaller trip too because it's like less drama less like a million people making tiktoks and like drama and like whatever like it was i felt like they were kind of like rewriting the brand yeah it was supposed to be like really intimate and like it was like we had i don't know everyone got close was there any drama there was no drama

well i'm happy that you went i'm so excited i'm praying you're gonna be able to make it to tana moves i'm coming to tana moves okay, guys. I'm getting my boob job in... Wait. 10 days. What's the exact day? June 18th. Oh, my God. That makes me happy because that's funny.

That's Ari's birthday. Might be June 19th. I want to take care of you so bad. I don't think it's going to be that much. So one of the girls on the trip with us, on the Aloe trip, had literally gotten her boob job five days before and she came first of all her boobs before looked exactly like mine now she showed me the before and after that's got to be so reassuring like i'll have what you're having so much because first of all she told me what size

she got and it's it's 300 cc's which is exactly what i'm getting i'm getting one of them's like 290 something and you're going where through the n nipple? Through the nipple. She didn't. She went from under, but it doesn't matter. She had the same starting point as me, which is what's important. After only five days, I've never seen a more,

like they looked perfect. Your recovery is going to go one of two ways because it's like, I've seen you pretty fucked up across life, right? Like on some different substances and whatnot. And you are like very, the fuck? Not, nothing crazy, dude. You're in your fucking twenties. Okay. And you are like very, the fuck?

Not, nothing crazy, dude. You're in your fucking twenties. Okay. And you live in fucking LA. Like I've never, sorry.

Like I'm saying like, you don't get like, like I, like I feel like me off of like a Valium after a surgery is like hooty silly. Like I feel like you're just going to be like, I'm chilling. Where's Murph? I truly don't. I don't think I'll take any of that. i feel like you're just gonna be like i'm chilling where's murph i truly

don't i don't think i'll take any of that because they you're numb i'm supposed to be numb for like days after oh really yeah and then after that they say you can if you it can take tylenol you should and i have drug addict parents like i don't really need to be taking any sort of opiate yeah that's fair and it's so easy like that that's how so many people end up addicted to heroin. For sure. Yeah. But I don't have like, that sounds so delusional to say. I'm like, I don't have an addictive personality that way,

but I really don't. Like I've tried every drug on the, well, maybe not every, but like I don't have any desire to do any of that. That's good. But I could also like, obviously like if you are in a lot of pain. Yeah, if i have to then slay but i think it'll be fine like she was chilling she was doing yoga that is crazy brand new tits she said she had drains because like i don't know like you know sometimes they give you

drains when you get surgery like that they took about the morning that she came and she was literally amazing they looked so perfect tana i need to get her to send me she is like so awesome for getting on that flight and i'd be so scared she was i like abby came to my birthday last year with brand new tits like i do think there's a obviously if you can't like i'm not like i'm not i would have to be careful and it would be like kind of sad to see everyone like swimming and having fun and like i can't get in the water and especially because like calvo's so fucking hot yeah well we could tan and you could put your little lower body in and stuff and like I can't get in the water. And especially because like combo is so fucking hot. Yeah. Well, we could tan and you could put your little lower body in and stuff.

And like towards the end of it, I kind of want to shoot a podcast there. Like I think there is a world where it could definitely happen. Can I bring a boyfriend? Of course. Which one? Well, I'd have to find one. your breath while you request your ride or are you holding your breath once you're inside i'm

will coleman ceo of alto stop playing ride share roulette download the alto app to experience professionally trained employee drivers and company-owned luxury suvs with our own pleasant signature scent try your first ride free with code try alto download the alto app or visit ridealto.com slash radio to learn more it's just kidding i've been back on hinge really i've been hinging it up that's good because i fear you're in a mr big situation i am in a mr big situation we don't have to talk about it but um i've just been looking i don't think i want to i already said i don't want to date and i really like i do feel so much happier when i'm not dating i've been slaying i love it and just like tiktok the problem is my attention still has to be somewhere

so so long as i that person is still alive my attention is going to be on him whether i'm seeing him or not so i need to attention like put my attention somewhere yeah a little distraction i swear it really is like swiping through tiktok though you know what i mean you're like patchwork tattoos silver like funny caption and then you're like bodybuilder man way too many gym photos not that funny caption and like yeah it's so it really is so fun and honest to god there's so many hot guys on hinge i believe it i love it maybe i'll find my man on hinge my or allison found her man on hinge oh yeah i think they're so happy i was in a successful hinge relationship for a second there and i was like all credits to the app designed to be deleted.

But then everyone else was a murderer. So I actually was just thinking about this hinge guy that I was talking to. Like in this house, like last year. And I just let this slide so hard. And looking back, like it's so unlike me to do this. The other day, someone was, Ari's six foot one. And someone was asking me how tall Ari is. And I was like, oh, he's six foot one.

And I was like, I was thinking about it. And I know that because I matched with this guy on Hinge, right? And his Hinge said he was six one. We go on our first date. We are, he's 5'11". And I'm in heels. Like we are the same fucking height. And I'm like, you fucking lying ass bitch.

And I think his Hinge said 6'2", too. Like 6'2 to 5'. That's where I draw the line. Two inches is the max. Because I remember it because Ari was like, one night the guy came over and then left. And Ari was like, Tana, I'm 6'1". And I'm standing there like looking at Ari. And I was like, oh, fuck.

Like I've been bamboozled and swindled. And the guy kind of looked like Ty Collins, too. So then him being like Ty's height. I was like, don't everyone was like you're literally dating ty right now like i had to stop because ty's five seven but like do you get what i'm saying like 5 11 to me in heels i was like this is ty like i'm running around but like what's crazy is it isn't short like 5 11 isn't short no but lying about your height on a dating app is so fucking wrong but i would do it if i were a man no question't sure no but lying about your height on a dating app is so fucking wrong but i would do it if i were a man no question about it i would lie about my height until the cows came home and i would gaslight anybody who tried to tell me otherwise i would carry around a

faulty tape measure and i would take i would literally ride it home it's so true it's funny because we were on tour and i think you and me were talking about this and then j-rod like chimed in and no or it was page i don't know who it was me were talking about this and then j-rod like chimed in and no or it was page i don't know who it was but we were talking about how like on hinge you you match with a guy who's six four because then you know he's at least six one yeah and well what's important is that you know there's no such thing as a man who's 5 11 because anyone in their right mind would say six foot hello like don't be stupid so if they say 5 11 they're 5 8 absolutely and like because that means they can't go so far as to say six foot because that would

be just too much and this is just so universally known across women and like never talked about like that's fucking crazy and men are always trying to talk about how women lie like i guess you could say women lie on dating apps by using facetune galore i was using this photo of me on hinge for a while that was just like me at weed lake with like brown roots like i didn't even look like that i'm just presenting as somebody i'm not on it on my dating apps i'm like one photo is me holding a baby one photo is me on a horse like i'm like who are you trying to fool like you have a podcast where you talk about anal yeah i had to like really fucking change my shit up in the end of hinge like i made my fucking star photo me with like an iguana on my head drunk i was like let me just have them know the real me i made my prompt about how i love this

iguana photos you know i don't even know that's how you get a real one um i need to circle back to our um i was gonna segue and then i completely forgot but to our opiate conversation that we just had. I feel like I have said too many things on this podcast about pills too casually to the point that now people think that like I'm abusing my prescriptions and abusing pills. And like, Oh, I've seen people say that about us actually. And I just want to say like right now I am prescribed Adderall and I'm prescribed Xanax. I'm prescribed the smack pack for ADHD. Like you need the fucking stimulant to make yourself focus. And then unfortunately you can, you can't sleep or at least I can't when I take Adderall.

So I'm prescribed Xanax for the anxiety and to kind of chill me out before bed. But I take it, I was going to say only as prescribed, but I take less than I'm prescribed. And like I always have and I always will. And like I have been in places of my life where I was severely abusing pills and I will never, ever, ever be that person again.

And I'm not at all. And like I know the severity of that. And I just like, we have a lot of young girls watching us and I just don't want to like glamorize that in a way like that I'm just taking shit for fun and taking shit randomly. Because I'm not. I take what I need for when I need it and like it's that's that on that and like I just don't want people to think that I'm out here yeah no I agree with that and we've done a bad job with that too because I've said like I took my Adderall today and like that's

not a thing you're supposed to take your Adderall every day you know what I mean and obviously prescribed Adderall for every day but I feel like it's you're supposed to take your Adderall every day. You know what I mean? And I'm obviously prescribed Adderall for every day. But I feel like it's really common with people who take Adderall. It's like you, first of all, I hate how it makes me feel. Like I hate my personality on it and stuff. Like I just don't like it. I've never liked it, but I need it. And it's like, so I'll take it when I feel like I really need it and I cannot function

without it or if I can't like do something without it. But if I can get away with not taking it, I'm not taking it. And I can't be ashamed to Or if I can't like do something without it. But if I can get away with not taking it. I'm not taking it. I get so sad. And I can't be ashamed to say that. Because it's like I don't like. It makes me so miserable. It makes me like.

It just is. Like I hate my personality on it. And if I have one that day. Which is like almost never. I get so fucking sad about that all the time. Like ADHD is just the worst. In the regard that all of the medicine that you take for it has so many awful there's hardly anything that's like anything that makes adhd better is like borrowing

energy from like the future and then like when the future comes i do um and i just hate that but it's like i can't focus i am on like like the one antidepressant though that like does help with because it's like it is a stimulant. It helps with ADD. So I feel like I can get away with that. But I still like struggle to get like get myself to do literally basically anything. Yeah. Maybe I'll try that honestly.

You know what I mean? But I just want to let everyone know I'm not like the cameras aren't going off and I'm not giving like Bart out like Wendy Williams you know what I mean like I'm just yeah me neither I'm very much moderate and like I don't take anything like crazy that's a crazy thing to me too is I spent so much of my life like very addicted to Xanax I mean granted I was going through a lot and my whole life was 10 times more toxic and I hadn't dealt with like a lot of my traumas and family issues and everything so I was in more of a state of life to like suppress a lot but like now I can take what I'm prescribed the tiniest amount when I need it, when I'm having anxiety, when I can't sleep.

And that's it. And I'm like, if I can do that with benzos again with the slippery slope, I'd love to have a glass of wine now and again. I got to eliminate Xanax altogether for my life with gabapentin because gabapentin like to me has been that's that was my lifesaver. That's another one I'm prescribed, by the way. Thank you very much. It does look like we abuse post because of the way yeah and i just like i never want to like and you

can also abuse like i think you just said that like you can abuse things that you're prescribed just as easily as you can abuse street drugs but i will shamelessly say that that is my miracle like it has made me so much better in life at everything functional relationships everything because i can just not be so fucking panicked they all like my prescriptions save my life when i'm using them as directed which is always and i just never want anyone to go through the bouts of addiction to pills and stuff like i have and i just want to say that so bluntly because like i i felt like i agree and even in hawaii like taking that Adderall because I didn't have mine that was from Cody and just like joking about it like obviously it was like a funny joke

to talk about like I accidentally fucking took this and like was like rolling tits and needed orange juice and yeah but like that's not funny yeah but I just don't want people to think that like also really scary out here because I've had times like it's hard in LA to be to find a new psychiatrist because it's like you have to be to find a new psychiatrist because it's like you have to be in network and I don't even have insurance and most psychiatrists won't take uninsured patients and I didn't have money at the time so I couldn't like go from doctor to doctor it was like a whole thing so I was buying like my actual medications from random I was just going to say that the only reason I have that is because i the shortage here like getting prescriptions it's so fucking funny i saw a tiktok about this the other day but like

adderall is for people who can't fucking do shit without it right and adderall is for people that literally doing like the most minor fucking thing like calling 80 pharmacies to try to find it is the hardest thing in the world without it i know and it's like the one of course i can't fucking do that because i don't have it yeah and it's like the shortage of adderall oh my god i'm surprised the streets aren't aflame i have a friend who poor thing has like it's taken her six months to fill out her fucking adhd like form and i'm like well you probably got it yeah right i was having page get my prescriptions in fucking massachusetts yeah because i couldn't get them here i was like dude maybe across the country's got some they did it was good at all um there's no way taken as directed well you know there's instant there's um yeah there's an xr

when taken as prescribed by your doctor any who's he okay i'm fucking done that's just point blank being my in my perfect world i would never have to be On any medication ever again And I did do that I did that for a stint Because when I moved Like same thing When I moved here from Arizona You can't fill a prescription From Arizona in California

So I had to go cold turkey And I'm on the one Well butrin You withdraw from Bad Like especially I'm on 300 milligrams a day If I were to just

Stop taking it one day I could have like Like you can Like really withdraw from it Like a drug drug That's awful And it was horrible I had to go through all that So then I didn't want To get back on it stop taking it one day i could have like like you can like really withdraw from it like a jerk like a drug drug that's awful and it was horrible i had to go through all that so then i didn't want to get back on it because i was like oh my god like i cannot go through this again so i was off it for like several years but then the whole clinton thing happened and probably i would

would have never even entered that relationship if i were properly medicated that's so fucking fair um wait did we ever talk about the fact that he made that video we didn't dude clinton clinton bless his heart like honestly at this point i get it you guys are so tired of hearing me talk about it but it's hilarious unfortunately i fear he had a marketing genius blip and you know what it's about time he utilized this to his advantage because i've been milking this shit until the cows come home like i and i can't help it like i'm sorry that like when something that traumatic is going to happen to me obviously i'm going to make jokes about it like literally probably for the next five years of my life but he started promoting his new song

on tiktok like using like like buzzword or like like trying to he starts off the tiktok and says it's time i finally addressed the rumors like as in killed my family faked the australian accent yeah and then i and i i literally i watched the whole fucking tiktok in full and i sat there and like was like stupid soup like i was so mad at myself for like falling for the gimmick and i was like oh my god like i i'll never i can never do this again i'll never give him a dollar again like but that was like one of those things where it's like honestly slay like that's like uploading that podcast yeah it's like more power to you fucking do you know what i mean funny like yeah we know this person who a lot of people may be up in

arms about them getting pets and getting rid of them and i have these two friends who like refuse to even watch their videos because they're like i'm not giving her a cent i need to start implementing that more because unfortunately i am a hate watcher to the core me too i keep saying i'm paying these people's bills i said this the other day it was like like i can't even call my like it's like people probably do that for us too I know for sure it's just like I'm a hate watcher to the fucking core like I but then the other day I was like I'm a fucking fan like how am I gonna sit there and be like I hate this person but I watch every single fucking TikTok you're Tana you're paying their bills I just had this conversation where I like I think I've hated someone like I have one person in

particular that I hated to the point of being obsessed with them and now I just like I think I'm her biggest fan because oh wait say it I'll bleep it oh duh like I like she's so fascinating to me that I can't even like knock her anymore it's like I love her that's the fucking thing is like I love her you have to okay stop saying that over and over again because i literally do but i where is the line between those two things because i fully agree like it's like a car crash that you can't look away from and i hate and love are very very similar like you it's just being passionate about something that's so true profound brooke to be indifferent is the worst feeling that you can have towards somebody i fully fully agree. I fully agree.

That is fucking crazy. And I've never been indifferent about anything. Never, me ever. That's one thing we have in common, you and I. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your dread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get it from our dread experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort.

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Never once in my life, like I, we just strongly feel about absolutely everything. It's so fucking real. I like that. I like having big feelings. Can I talk about A-list celebrities bailing on me?

Yes, sure. Tell me if I've ever podcasted about this and just shut the fuck up, okay? But there was a day a couple months ago where I got invited to go on Wiz Khalifa's podcast. And I always end up like, I don't know what this is. You and I were even talking about this yesterday to an extent. But it's like the few days before something, like I'm leaving on tour or a big trip or whatever in my life historically always end up being the most booked and busy days of my life it's like God wants that for me I don't know what it is like every single time we're gonna leave on tour that Friday before I'm going to have

two podcasts it just happened to me I was doing therapists and dropouts and fucking planning our show and fucking just a million fucking things. And it's like, why couldn't this have been spread out over the week? Like, why could Jake Shane only do the day before we had to leave for like, it just like, and I love him. So obviously I'm going to go do it, but I'm saying like, it just historically, this always happens to me. And this was another one of those.

We were leaving for Coachella and I get invited to go on Wiz Khalifa's podcast and this is the only day that he can do and of course I'm like I'm gonna fucking do that I love Wiz Khalifa I didn't even know Wiz Khalifa had a podcast over amazing yeah and never forget sorry to cut you off but it's Wiz Khalifa related the time that we were outside that restaurant and Wiz Khalifa's like Tana I'm like what that what and that's the thing I've like known him forever and like wait what you're friends with Wiz Khalifa I was so excited to be like look this is my friend right like such a flex

so kind of like I'm in the car like what is going on out there I'm like fucking black and yellow black and yellow bitch you know that's me right that's what I'm thinking on the way I'm like playing whatever so I get all ready I get up I put on my best like i'm hanging out with whiz outfit like i'm like what was it he's gonna eat this

shit up you know what i mean just more like like street wear like you know like good sneakers and like a good watch and like yeah just and it's far as fuck and it's fucking up my whole day to like get there and i get there and i walk in and it's it's just a whiz khalifa ass set you know it's fucking up my whole day to like get there. And I get there and I walk in and it's just a Wiz Khalifa ass set. You know, it's hot box with smoke. There's 500 people. I was like, oh my God, why don't we do this for the podcast? It was just insane. Like they're giving me gifting.

There's a million bad bitches. Like I'm so excited, whatever. And I'm like, this is worth it. I'm glad I came. And I wait for 30 minutes. He doesn't come. I order Chick-fil-A. I'm like this is worth it I'm glad I came and I wait for 30 minutes he doesn't come I order Chick-fil-a I'm starving I wait for another hour hour and a half goes by and finally someone just comes over to me I swear to god as casually as like would you like a water and they're

like Wiz is finishing his album he's not gonna pull up like you know what i mean not gonna pull up is crazy like he gave you a taste of your own medicine my eye starts twitching and i'm like fuck and i've told you a million times i kind of get off to people bailing on me and i don't know why i don't know why because you probably are validated like oh other people are out here doing this too and i'm not a bailer anymore i haven't bailed on anyone in like as long as i can remember i've maybe like rescheduled things and whatever like i've definitely grown and I just respect the fuck out of people's time as much as I can you know I still especially with the ADHD not to crutch it but like I'm late to shit occasionally now and again but I'm like so fucking sad but then they're they're like

will you do the podcast anyway? And I'm like, it's one of those situations where there's 500 people there. And like, I just didn't want to be a bitch. You know what I mean? Yeah. And like, wait, so is it his podcast or he was just, it's called like stoned and sexy, I think. So it's like a bunch of girls and him. And so then I end up, I'm like, okay. and so then I end up filming with these girls that I don't know and like we do a whole podcast and they were amazing like they were so sweet and like funny and like really awesome girls like one of them was like let's go play basketball like I want to take you and I was like let's go ball is life I'm so down you know I love basketball. You do. You fuck with a good game of pig.

I really do. And it was cute, but it was one of those things where it's like, fuck, I almost just wish I could have left. I have a day before tour. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And we just don't end up rescheduling, and I don't know. I hope we finish the album and whatever, right? Same thing.

Yesterday, these two days have been the most jam packed days of my life. Today is fucking literally, I don't even know how, like we're shooting this podcast. I have a meeting. I have Kiki's fucking dance recital in Calabasas. Most important thing you've done all year. I know. And I'm excited to go be godmother of the year and it's going to be really fucking fun. And then a White Fox event later.

I don't even know. These past two days have just been like so packed and i get a text from lele pons earlier in the week and she's like hey i can't tell you why but can i call you with will smith tomorrow or whenever at like 10 a.m i love love Will. I love Will Smith and I'm like obviously for whatever this is I'm sure they're filming it like it's not like Will Smith is just like calling Tana Mongeau. Maybe he's a fan. I fucking love Will Smith so much and I'm like thinking of all these jokes I want to say and whatever and it's at the fucking crack of dawn so I get all fucking ready and I'm just like and mind you the second that i'm done with that i have to go be in that role model music video so

everything was kind of like timed out which you were supposed to do with me and i'm so i was supposed to be in the video at least you were allo movesing it up i know but i'm heartbroken he's so hot i'm really sad because it would have been so fun. Us too. It really would have been. But. Sad. Everything's timed out, whatever. I'm just stressed. I'm fucking trying to figure things out, whatever.

And I wait around. 11 a.m. or whenever it comes, I'm full clam. I'm waiting on Will Smith. An hour goes by. I'm waiting on Will Smith. I'm texting Lele. It's on do not disturb. I'm pressing notify anyway. I'm like, where is Will? do not disturb I'm pressing notify anyway I'm like

where is Will whatever and I wait and I wait and I wait I wait Will Smith bailed on me they had time to call I think I was last on the docket I think I was added in as a final sub in and I think that they definitely made the calls to Hannah Stocking and Paris Hilton and Tana Mongeau just didn't get the fucking call. No, I bet something came up. I bet he was in an entanglement. That was the thing, too. I was like, fuck, it's probably for the better.

Because every joke I was going to say was just like, shouldn't be said to Will Smith. And it's. Yeah, probably not. But he's really like, he's into the social media game. Like, I remember when he was running around on yachts with liza koshy oh yeah and like he loves like the king batch of it all the lele yeah he loves like that genre of i bet it's because like these traditional media celebrities just see their numbers and like well they're the most universal because that same type of humor is funny like whether you even

really understand like it's funny everywhere you know what i mean like in other countries and stuff too well i'm sorry i'm sure you'll have another chance with will smith i'm sure that opportunity will present and it's so funny because i can never actually say shit like i'm not saying this in like a way like because it's like no it's okay it wasn't me it wasn't meant to be right but you know what is meant to be having gypsy rose on our podcast in fact she went live yesterday and said that she would come on the canceled podcast so long as we would have her meaning we are going to have to fly wherever she is is exactly what I was saying yesterday um I saw the clip I'm so excited I go to try to DM her we follow each other but it wasn't working so I was like whatever I had Paige send an email over to her team and she is done with her press docket

until well this isn't press this is just friends saying it's like this is just friends chatting gyps I couldn't agree more I'm like just come kick it whatever but like and of course here I am this morning I was like so sad because i'm like just come be our friend like it doesn't have to be a part of the press like we just want to hang out girl like gypsy please gypsy please but then i'm like tana i don't know where you get off thinking that she doesn't have like a whole team running her shit it's good just because the way the live was like it was very much like she was so casual and she's just like yeah sure i'll go on like okay like then we're on our way i would be there absolutely and she's just like yeah sure i'll go on like okay like then we're on our way i would

be there absolutely and she's blue balling me i would be there tomorrow i don't know why we are in such a dry spell i've tried to get everyone everyone wants on canceled i give up dude nobody wants to come on cancel up it's it's gonna be page like we can start putting her in like having her like wear a wig and be like I'm Julia Fox today I know she could be she could be Stassi baby says she'll come on but she says so only if um she has full creative control I've had that conversation with Stassi as long as the day and I love her I love her so much but I just it's like all the people that we've had on are people that have said yes and like like, I've ran out.

You know what I mean? And now everyone else, like the second tier of like all the other people that everyone's like, oh my God, have them are the people who have told me yes a million times, like when they're in L.A. And then they come to L.A. and like, don't hit me up. And like, whatever. Like, it's all the people. I've had people even tell me like, oh, sorry, my publicist told me I can't. And I'm like, shit.

Like, what do we need to change about ourselves be honest besides the um talking about opiates all the time and um being problematic and exposing people I'm defeated you have no idea how much I have been trying to get anyone on this podcast I think Pookie and Jet might do it that would slay i feel like he could give me business advice do you see mason disick on instagram yeah it's because he's in high school now i think he probably wasn't allowed to have an instagram until high school it's so funny he came back as a full chrome hearts kid he first of all he's probably been always probably chrome's heart chrome hearts baby 100 but i'm saying we've i don't know if we've actually ever talked about

this on the podcast but like there's a genre of human yes like there's all these la boys who like every single one of them has a quote-unquote different walk of life but like they haven't you know what i mean parents are billionaires like on some like every single one of their parents invented something vital we use every day or like lifelong brands or whatever and they all live in these multi-million dollar houses in malibu they they're all best friends with christian stark who is the son of the owner of chrome hearts and frankie stark and the whole stark family and they all wear chrome hearts every day and then none of them have jobs and they never will and they're all super attractive and they're like posted up and like

it's a whole community girls in LA are dying to fuck them you know what I mean like it's like this whole thing I remember I was fucking one of them for like a while and I like thought I was like I was like this is it I remember as well where is he now um in prison probably i think he's in prison i'm not kidding but so hot you know and like i would let him put it in my butt and i was like i know you would always tell me that i still haven't let anyone go anywhere near my butt and i think i'm my time is ticking well my time is running out can't let anything go near my butt ever again i just circling back to the tour of it all this is what I get though this is what I fucking get because anytime in my life I have historically ever said that I think something's going to be easy it is Armageddon and I know this it's like it like it could literally

be going to CVS and back right now do not say you think it's going to be easy you're gonna get in a 10 card pile up on your way there Tana you know this you know this it's just my life like matter of fact if I want something to go to shit I will say I think it's going to be easy because then I know it's going to go to shit and here I am we finished the Chicago shows and you know me I'm riding on this fucking high horse all around Chicago where I'm like we're done we're done with tour like it feels like we're done I know we have the California shows, but we're no longer in the Midwest. We're no longer across the country. We're no longer worried about a million things. Like I can have a million security if I want. We're in California. I feel safe. Neighborhood family shows. We're going to

have a special guest. They're going to carry the shows. The shows are going to be so easy because of that. The California girls, you know, they're just driving from their house. They're coming out. We're all going to fucking hang out. Like it's, it's so easy. I could bring my IV nurse if I wanted to. I could bring a masseuse if I need it. I could bring whatever the fuck it is to fix any ailment.

Amari is going to come. He's my comfort person. This is going to be so fucking easy. I'm sorry. I could go on for the next hour, dude. I wouldn't shut the fuck up about how I felt like these friendly neighborhood shows. monologue i've ever heard you do fucking easy i'm sorry i know that was amazing hour dude i i wouldn't shut the fuck up about how i felt like these friendly neighborhood shows were gonna be a fucking breeze bro and we get there and we get there bro camber you and me and you know we're a little last minute on the show planning but we get it written we're there we're gonna rehearse in

santa barbara we're in santa barbara we fucking ubered to the show we fucking we haven't even seen the bus yet it's fucking an hour away the dropouts pod is coming i'm like we is crazy she took the bus okay but you know what the bus picked you up 20 minutes from your house it was it just scooped you on the way. Like, and the dropouts are coming the first day. They're going to help us. Like just, we're going to do stuff with them. The crowd's going to be so excited. And we get to this fucking venue.

Right. I wake up that morning. Okay. And I have my whole like nugget sweet and sour fucking bubble gut surprise for dinner the night before. But I do that pretty frequently. Yeah. You would think you could handle it. And I wake up the next morning but I do that pretty frequently. Yeah, you would think

you could handle it. And I wake up the next morning and I have a footy little shit, okay? It's footy but it's just footy, okay? It's not like,

oh my God, hospitalize me. It's like I- It's just a little like off, a little wookie. I had a super size special last night and my poop

is a little wookie, duh. This happens to me all the time, a wookie poop after a sort the night before sorry for every word i'm using i'm serious we just made all these up but you get what i'm saying okay 20 minutes go by and i'm like oh i'm not done wookieing the wookie vacation is still wookie vacationing i go i squeeze and I go back, you know, beauty blending my concealer. Shit's shit. It's fine.

Right. And then I go again. This one's giving I'm pouring a gallon of water into the toilet. And I'm like, OK, it's got to be all out of me. Right. I get to your room. We're trying to fucking rehearse the show. I'm back and forth, whatever.

Now, by the time we've made it to the venue, I have had eight liquid shits. Oh, no. I order a Modi of A.D. because I now understand that this might be an issue an issue we couldn't even rehearse the show one time it was just you up there like being you and i was running back and forth to both of our chairs doing sound check and i swear to god thank god that this venue bathroom somehow was like right beside the stage. Because we have other ones where you have to take a boat, a train and a plane to get to the bathroom from the stage. And we'll get there.

You know what I mean? But I'm just shitting. 25 times. By the time we even before our meet and greet, we're done with rehearsal. I couldn't sit. I couldn't sit. My butthole. I know.

I know my butthole looked like a Brandy Melville scrunchie you know exactly what I mean and now it's like every single person on the tour now has to know about it right because it's like a white that's like so dehumanizing too because it's like you can't even hide it like you just have to like bite the bullet and say listen to me everybody i had to have like a real circle around me meeting where i'm staring at aaron j-rod tour manager aaron page allison all five dropouts all of the dropouts podcast everyone everyone they brought and say i'm so sorry if things don't go accordingly today. I can't stop shitting water. I now take on the brat diet I'm trying.

Bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast, okay? I'm trying to stop at the meet and greet. I felt so bad for the people by the end. Like I was just weathered. Wait, did you see that someone left the show and said that they got diarrhea i believe it you gave a fan diarrhea i had that is not the meet and greet package anyone's and that's the thing i was having to tell all the fans like because it was I was just so visibly in distress and leaving every two seconds and whatever and it's like we get through

this show but then it just gets progressively worse I thought it was going to be one of those things where it went away after this day or two days bro I'm seeing fucking stars I'm starting to be so dizzy I'm drinking pedialy i'm trying to like recoup my hydration but i can't and i'm like damn near passing out on stage seeing there was a show in sacramento where we had jake shane come to and that's the thing dealing with this with like special guests is 10 times harder so now it's it's like by far the hardest fucking run of tour but also not it's the most liquid run of tour literally ever and um there was one point on stage in sacramento those people they seemed to enjoy it because like we kind of

made it a bit like they were laughing and cheering and it was like funny but like i saw full black and i had to turn to you and be like say what i'm supposed to say right now like i can't talk and i had to run off stage like three times and shit that happened for the rest of tour imagine having to look at a crowd of 2,000 people and say like I'm so sorry I'm shitting water I'll be back it was really really I'm I'm glad you made it through but I would have really had a hard time that would have been really hard it was so fucking horrifying Amari heard me too in the hotel i was just thinking thank god it wasn't makoa he said that it sounded like someone was pouring cream of wheat into the toilet

oh but and i've never in my 25 years and i fucking mean this hand to god digital footprint had anything smell like that wait it has come out of me no no i'm sorry though i'm sorry like on some real carcass shit oh on no i'm so fucking for real though like i fear we've gotten too comfortable i don't want to be insensitive i'm really like sorry that that and at first it was gird gate then it was diarrhea gate like i just i fear something is so wrong with my overall health but i am so scared to get a blood panel i've always been the wait do you want to come with me i'm going tomorrow i'm gonna do it at home god she's so rich i you're more than welcome to join me i

got you they're probably like bogo or something right they're not bogo you don't get a group on on a blood panel but i do have to get blood work tomorrow i'm just saying it could be fun for us to do it together i have such a fear and i've always been this way and I hate this about myself of like I hate knowing I don't like knowing like if I ever had like cancer like I would want to just fucking die but if you know and everything's fine that feeling is even better than um you know just I know but at the off chance it is and i can't emotionally handle the like paranoia and anxiety because then you can fix it whatever's wrong i don't know why i'm like this like i would rather just fucking croak no you wouldn't but i it's really common actually a lot of people are

that way i know and i hate that so i've been putting off this blood panel but i did it's so funny because i wonder if it's like canceled podcast related like i've been shitting solid the whole time and then i woke up today and shit water for the first time since then and now maybe you're allergic to me i'm not allergic to you but i'm just so scared i'm gonna like jet pack through the roof at kiki's dance recital with my like you can't embarrass kiki in that way at all she would never forget it can an event i've been shitting water today too maybe it's just a bug. I don't know.

Are you being judgmental? Oh, it could be a bug. When did I just. Oh, I shit myself in Mexico, but I was in Mexico. I don't fucking know, dude. I really don't. I really don't. And it might just like genuinely be like my big back behavior I keep catching myself like I'll be eating a fucking full-blown meal and it's like a jack

in the box munchies pack and I'm sitting there eating it thinking about what I'm gonna eat later it's like you're eating something you're you're eating something right now why the fuck are you planning your next meal fat ass no that's I don't i don't mean fat ass even in like a body shaming way i mean it in like a behavioral way yeah like the behaviors are fucking the the other night i like i come upstairs i'm so full and i smoke weed and i'm like listen tana we are breaking the mold tonight okay you are not about to have these munchies you are not about to have these munchies and i swear i'm like i do so good for hours i'm drinking water i'm like i'm gonna go to bed and i swear to god i get up out of my sleep and the only thing in my room is my fucking easter basket brooke my easter basket

i wake up with plastic eggs and jelly beans in my bed it's like do you have any fucking shame easter wasn't even that long ago i don't think that's that crazy brooke i woke up with plastic eggs and jelly beans in my bed sounds delicious i could have it right now you're you're a real friend you really are but it's just the big back behavior is so fucking crazy i want to show you something really funny oh that i don't remember when I was doing MTV in like the end of season one or something I don't remember when it was actually let me just like stop myself and this was another point in my life where it was like the most extreme burnout I'd ever had like I was just really struggling and I was on so many so I was abusing drugs and taking Xanax and being awful.

And MTV is like, we're going to have you go on this press run. And I've never in my life done a press run like this, right? Like when we do our press now, I think it's like we choose podcasts that are fitting to us. And like interviews that are like, you know what I mean? Like the interviewer is not against you. Like, you know what I mean like the interviewer is not against you like yeah you know what I mean just all of that right they send me on this press run and I'm just I'm like playing with the puppies at BuzzFeed and shit like it's just very much like unlike things I've ever done and mind you this was the time of my life where my ailment was not diarrhea or GERD it was

periorbital cellulitis and my eye would swell up all big oh I, I remember the photo. I love that photo. That was actually how Alexis Oakley and I super bonded because she just started doing my makeup for maybe like a month. And then my eye would swell up so huge. And I'd be like, contour it. Like, I don't know. Like, give me give me the skinny eye special, you know. And it was very much like now it's like I would be like, fuck, no, I'm not going to do like BuzzFeed with a fucking swollen out of my head i'll insert a photo you know how it got like crazy right and at the end of this press run they have me go

on ktla like the just like the regular fucking like channel five morning news and i have to get there at like 5 a.m it's just just like on this crazy lot. It's unlike anything I've ever done. And I don't watch any, I've never rewatched anything from the MTV era because it just like, I feel sad for that girl. You know what I mean? In every way, just everything with Jordan, like just all the fighting, like just everything. I was just, I was sad. And I found this clip on my timeline the other day of me on KTLA Morning News. Swollen eye, whole nine. Listen to my demeanor, like just defeated.

Like I'm like, why the fuck am I here? Oh, no. Here's some statistics. 5.2 million subscribers on YouTube. I was among the one and a half million people who just watched your trip to Miami, which seemed like a lot of fun. That's such a crazy way to put it. Thank you watching that it was definitely a roller coaster i bet uh tanya mojo's here nice to see you mispronouncing my name like get off of ktla news wait that's a god you've

lived so many lives so nice how did all this happen i have no idea i think i wake up every day and that's the first question i ask myself i was doing my hair today and i was like what's going on um but oh I love your little voice now you sound like young Tana who is that girl that is so crazy my voice in that time is like so wild why the fuck was I on KTLA news I don't know but I love I'm on Tana Mongeau TikTok and I can't believe how much I can't believe how much like first of all how many lives you've lived but also just like how many phases. Like I find videos of you every single day that I've never seen before. And it's so exciting.

I'm right now like there's like that one viral clip. This is so funny. It got sent in the group chat this morning. What was it? It's like you in a Chris Miles video. You're like that wasn't very convincing, but like your little face is so me with the guy who doesn't like me back yeah chris sent me that the fucking the comments i feel so bad for him because i do too because he's really actually like misunderstood it's like he's so misunderstood

and i think it's like if he could ever sit down on this podcast and like just show the chris that we know everybody would love him he's the funniest person I've ever met and like I just I really like I know that my fans love me so much but like it takes two to tango in a toxic ass relationship and like people are also like mean the guy who doesn't like me back mean the guy who doesn't love me like he's just a very stoic person like he loved me with everything he had in me and like tried his very best and like it was so tuto tango toxic i was awful i was throwing shit too i was fucking like you know what i mean and it's like yeah but you know what that's it's always true it's the same way like we look at celebrities and stuff and we think like we know what people's relationships were like and we don't

it's so true it is so fucking i really am trying not to do that so much anymore because it's like I'd love to subscribe to those like ideas, but like I have lived so many fucking lives. I think that's why I like it's so funny because I'll always to you be like, I'm so fucking tired, Brooke. You don't understand. And like, you know what I mean? Or like I'm burnt the fuck out.

And it's like we'll do the same thing like touring and the way it affects me versus the way it affects you because i just feel like i've been going i still got the energy in me yeah like like you know what i mean and i'll be like i just wish like you know what i mean yeah although i was working too except i was getting paid 12 an hour that is very i definitely am not knocking that okay your your work ethic is so fucking amazing. Can I say something about myself that I hate? Sure.

And I want to see if you agree or don't. You definitely don't. You don't know me. No, but it's a good thing that you don't. But I noticed this so much on tour and I hate that I'm this way. And I can't change it. Mikoa's, like being with Mikoa, like he tries to like help me with this because he's very present and thinks everything's so beautiful and like it's like babe look how beautiful that is

right beautiful architecture right like people will pass a beautiful church and be like that's so pretty or like it's like we'll be in a city and people will be like oh my god you need to go see all the all of this it's so beautiful like i just don't understand like big whoop it's a building like even just like i was at the louvre in like paris and i was like i think it's something that comes a little bit with age like i get i was like a little older i mean not older than you are now i guess but i was like that when i was like younger i like. I don't give a fuck about that. Like why am I like that? The Eiffel Tower was cool.

But like. I don't know. But it's. The Eiffel Tower. But it's the same way. Like you grow. Into things. Like you.

Remember like your style. In houses used to be like. That dentist office special. And now like you're liking. A little bit more character. I feel like as you get older. You'll start to appreciate. Stuff like that more.

I just like the fact. Like for example We just performed At the Center What is it Palace of Fine Arts In San Francisco

Which was just crazy There's something So dehumanizing About being at the Palace of Fine Arts That was beautiful Somebody was rolling over In their grave

And I'm on stage Talking about how I'm Shitting waterfalls Out of my ass And they look like The ones on my Instagram In Hawaii Yeah but it's just So beautiful and you think to yourself like oh my

god like a man like men used to build things like this and now they fucking paint their nails in gaslight paint their nails in gaslight and it really is upsetting and that makes me appreciate it a little bit more i'm like somebody who did this like could change a tire and ride a horse and probably did with like a steel outfit on it is so crazy I went to the Zach Bryan concert it was life-changing and now my whole cup is full again that was another thing where I was just shitting water and so sad like this whole run of tour I couldn't do anything and I was so fucking sad um I'm literally like I'm in I keep telling you this but I'm in a period where it's like I can't get serotonin I feel like from anything and it like is really upsetting me because usually I can get serotonin from like going to the grove

and seeing like one baby and I can't like right now I'm like and everything I just feel very like numb yeah numb and it's like I hate that so that's why I like needed to go on my little wellness trip but I'm not kidding I went to the Zach Bryan concert. I have never been happier. It was so fun. And spiritual. It was his first stadium show. You know when you're in an era's tour where there's so much energy that it's like you

literally feel it? It made me sick to my stomach. And now I have to go down, I think, to every show. I fucking just love the revival of it all. The clips of revival and how he just like like sexy red went up got to go up it was every and he was singing his heart out it was so cute I saw a clip of Rihanna coming up too it was just them and it was really cute that's how she like met him have you been seeing that's crazy I didn't even think about that yeah have

you been seeing all the Brie and Grace drama I have and I'm trying like um kind of what i was just saying like i'm trying not to form an opinion about it because i hate when people like psychoanalyze our relationship based on like what they see it's so so actually so so so true i hate it because it's like you're never right it's not you guys are never right yeah no offense i love you guys but yeah that is so fucking true hyper analyze every single like look and like inflection of like things that i say things that you say like the way we respond like the jokes we make in it fucking infuriates me because i'm like you literally like don't know what our friendship is like at all or like we have a fight and like people think it's the end of the world and the end of our friendship yeah and they will they can never let go of it and

like yeah and you and i just like are over it in fucking 20 hours yeah so I feel bad for them and also like it this kind of goes for us too like we are obviously haven't really had any problems like in a long long time but like think about any normal friendship in real life like there's never a friendship where you don't go like weeks without talking to each other or like a week without talking to one another like we have to show up here every single week no matter what like how we're feeling or if we're mad over literally a shirt yeah or if like even just you might like be you know off doing something else kind of thing like it's weird to have to like literally like check in that constantly like yeah and like show up and deliver a certain friendship and dynamic if that's not how you

two are actually feeling yeah and it doesn't even have to be negative yeah it has nothing to do with that but even if just like like if i'm going through something or like if i you know i'm off dating somebody or whatever it is like and then i have to come back here and just like act normal and like we we haven't even maybe talked or something like that like i think that's kind of what's happening to them where it's like it's just like in a normal friendship that might be like a little bit of like a distancing time for them where they would come back together and it's like just sucks because everyone has to watch it.

Well, this is me just speculating again on like what I don't fully know, but like we've all had those situations as well where like a friend gets a boyfriend and like it changes things. Well, it's also in a really unique situation because that's not a boyfriend that's the most like one of the most famous people in the world at the moment like and so her whole life has been turned upside down like so immediately and she god bless her honestly i like admire the way that she's able to still like have her own job and podcast and things that she does and stuff because you know what i would do i would be yeah the girlfriend

and i would eat that shit up and i would lose all sense of identity and i would no longer want to do anything for myself ever again grace you know what i mean like but that's just who i am like no but but brie's not like that i'm saying she's like she still wants to do her other shit and she still shows up and like goes off and does her own work shit i would never i also just give it like like you were just saying like giving it shit i would never i also just give it like like you were just saying like giving it to grace for coming back and just showing up as if everything isn't upside down yeah and it's hard on the other end of it too like i i've had like my best friends get boyfriends and wanted to literally like die because i'm like where are you i don't know the

whole situation me neither but i feel bad i think i think people should just yeah and i don't know the whole situation me neither but I feel bad I think I think people should just yeah and I don't know as much like a grace to figure out a super stand so I I intake way more grace and of grace's side and people's talking about like I don't even know what you know what I mean yeah I need to like know more about no I love grace so much but I I just feel bad like in any situation like that when it's like yeah it's just people like becoming obsessed with the friendship dynamic and not knowing anything well it adds like a whole other like difficult element to like what's already hard when you're like going through it with a friend you know what i mean because now like it has to

be perceived by all these people yeah and like give them a second like they've been friends their entire lives yeah and like that is so sad and scary. And that does happen to, like, us. And I do just feel for that. Because I hate when that. Like, if you and I are going through anything ever and the internet's weighing in on it, it's always just ten times harder. You know?

Yeah. But Grace is slaying. Grace is going on tour with Whitney. Which is fucking insane and so amazing. I can't wait to go to one of those shows. And she's been doing stand-up like crazy. Like, she's always doing shows. Which, bless bless her heart i wish so badly that i could fucking do that i want to be able to do it it takes the most balls in the world it does it's so

interesting too because it's like we technically do that but like if you weren't there i would never be able to go out there i already can barely go out there when you're like there i don't think that's true it's so hard for me i don't think that's true part of it that's why i feel like i can't just easily go sober because i like literally could never do a show if i couldn't drink i don't think that's true i really don't at the end of this tour when we got off stage in oakland and we were saying goodbye to each other that night because you were leaving on your flight to cabo so i like got on the bus and drove home but on the bus I was just really thinking to myself like I do think if you put anyone else in your shoes in the situation of this 55 60 shows 90% of people I know could not

have done that like what 100% and I feel like I've seen the social media game through and through I know so many influencers and people and who they really are and how they are like through and through and I really mean what I'm saying like they could not do that and I think that I mean now that the tour is over I guess we could obviously talk about it a little more but like there was so much going wrong behind the scenes as well. Like I don't mean with the shows, but I mean like even with safety, like we had a lot of really crazy issues. There was a show that had to be canceled and stuff because of like crazy threats and fucked up shit.

And like even thank God you're the type of person who doesn't get paranoid because that was, people will see it in the documentary but that was so hard for me like there were there was like a set of 10 shows where i was walking out every night on like six out of ten because i was like really fucking scared i was gonna die and someone was gonna kill me and it was like this whole thing and it was so scary and like just and that shit just discourages you as a whole it's like i want to go home i want to feel safe like you know what just so much so many things and just it was long and so many shows and i think that it was like you killed it at every single show well thank you and it was wild you killed it i just think it was such a like so special i keep thinking about it i think that's part of the

reason i'm like so not like numb but like that was such a big like overwhelming of emotion so many things that i almost like couldn't feel any of it not like that i couldn't feel it but it's like it was so overwhelming that i just refused to acknowledge any of it as being real yeah so it just like that i just literally like had to start like going through the motions because it was like this cannot be like that this isn't there's no way this is and if i were to try to process it like because i'm so hyper emotional i would have like just gone off the rock sobbed yeah i 100 agree it's like it's the most overwhelming feeling of love and you know what i mean high anxiety and going hard and just every emotion so cool to like oh we're gonna like tell our kids about that forever and hopefully we can do it for a lot longer i agree and i think we learned so much and if we were to ever come back with another tour which i

think we will it um they want us to go to canada you know i would love to go to canada and the uk and australia and yeah i'm really excited i want to go i want to do canceled down under so bad like imagine if that was like our vibe for all the different every australian tour i ever had to i was fucking like you're gonna find some sexies you're gonna find some real fucking sexies like it's gonna be fun it's so fun international touring is so fun get big off my phone i'm just really happy and i'm happy i'm happy we got to do it together i feel like that would have been if you hadn't been there i definitely wouldn't have it's it is the most special bond and like memory and we didn't even fight we literally what we fought once i and i think that it's just like we also but it wasn't

even a fight it wasn't a real fight but like that's that not that i think like we were just gonna fight the whole time but like that's cool. I would have fought with anybody like spending that much time with someone. I think we both just had to like. It was a real test to like learning someone else emotionally, at least for me. Like I felt like I really had to learn who you are as a person, what makes you tick, what to take to heart. Like I think the same thing. You know what I mean? I had to like adapt my behavior to like what you like. You know what I mean? I had to like adapt my behavior to like what you,

like, you know what I mean? Like the things that you're doing. But it's crazy because like the second that I started like being a little bit less like hard on you for like the little things that you, like that frustrated me about you, they stopped and like vice versa. You know what I mean?

Like I'm not so like judgmental and hyper analytical and stuff when you're, like it was like chicken chicken and the egg like it just like one of us had to stop and then it just all stopped yeah I think that we just gave each other a lot more like patience and slack and like you know what I mean and in the best way like to just let each other be each other and like do it whatever and like I think I just had to learn like so many little things like I just can't take I feel like I'm the type of person who takes everything someone says and does to heart really bad and then I react on that too and like I just I was able to really like oh Brooke like might have said something that I would normally snap but I think she's being a little mean right now I would walk it off but you know what that like that's something even I am learning like

now way later in life because I don't think of anything that i say or like how i act and like sometimes like situations as abnormal at all but like i think it's because i grew up with sisters and my mom and all of us have always talked to each other in such a like horrible nasty terrible way to where it's like i don't think twice about like being like you're such a fucking stupid fucking dumb literally and i was able to just like understand that finally and i think that it made me but it's like i don't mean it's just like that's how i like because i don't i don't think you're a mean mean person at heart at all i don't i really fucking don't and like it was I was able to just take it

as more of like a sister dynamic and I get so defensive too that it's like if I'm being mean it's because I got my feelings hurt I don't know I think I think you're just a sassy diva I'm sassy you're sassy but it's a quirk and you are so amazing no it's not it's not even that like i have all of my quirks too and i think that like we were just able to like work it out and just form more of like a sisterly relationship like i really do understand you more than i've ever understood you and like i think it's made our friendship so much stronger i think so too you know what i mean and it's only gonna get better and i'm so fucking excited for the future i really fucking am like i just i can't wait this is a really like wholesome and kind of serious episode but i hope you guys

at home still enjoyed it i feel like the last one that will have came out was like giggle fest page like masturbating masturbation rainbow tarp and trevi and you know what i mean but that's the dichotomy of this lore um guys comment below by the way what kind of merch you would love to see us have um we have been trying to put our foot into a canceled podcast merch line and i just like feel like we're in an influencer space right now where people are like alex earl dropped her merch and i've never seen more fucking people at home critiquing this shit like it was met gala fashion in my life i thought it was everything but i'm like oh my god like i used to just think of a random phrase printed on a shirt i wouldn't even get it still doing that though too i think there's

still a market for that and i just i want to make a good shit that we actually wear like every single day and like i've been trying to figure that out too because our styles can be so different like yeah we're running into some issues with that where it's like like what she would wear i wouldn't wear and what i would wear you wouldn't wear yeah like it's like for you and so then i'm at this place where i want to make the merch drop kind of 50 50 you know like like a clean girl like like a beige sweatsuit with like a cute little like cowboy graphic that says something funny and tan writing. Like that's more like a you type of outfit, whereas mine might be like real tree camo with like a red font.

Okay, yeah, camo, like leopard with like cherries and bows. Yeah, it's what we call Keta Queen fashion. Keta Queen fashion. So we're trying to figure out how to kind of have something for everyone but also make it good so if you guys have any requests or phrases or something that you would like really fucking love to see on some stuff i just want to make sure it's like the best thing and just like what types of items we want to know we do want to know so if you guys could sound off in the comments below, that would mean the world to me. And just guys, I love you so much.

And thank you for being a part of like this whole journey. And I was really emotional at this last run of tour. Like I was crying on stage and like, just like grateful. Isn't even the word like you, you did all of this for me from the jump and for her as well and just like your support and love for us and the fact that we have so many people who are just fucking like us and relate to our mommy issues and our dating lives and our 20s and we have this girl come up to us and like thank us for being so real about navigating 20s and like whatever and I don't even think of some

things like that sometimes and I just like I just really fucking appreciate everyone so much and even just with my sobriety and this journey like I feel like I've been so open and honest about how I feel about everything and how I even just this episode being like maybe I want to drink and like maybe just all my feelings about like some of the deepest shit inside of me and they do nothing but support and love us so much and it's like holy fuck I'm just I'm so grateful

we love you guys so much for being here through all the eras toothbrush conventions marriages KTLA and Chris Miles Mindy as toothbrush conventions marriages uh ktla and chris miles we love you we love you guys it's fucking 500 degrees in here and if they don't stop fucking building that house next door so we can open these fucking doors it's like what are you installing like a water slide like i just don't understand