Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 96: PAIGE IS GETTING BACK WITH HER EX

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

Use code CANCELLED10 for 10% off tickets on SeatGeek. https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/CANCELLED10 *Up to $25 off This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/TANA today to get  10% off your first month.  New players can play just $5 and get 50 in Casino Credits! Download the DraftKings Casino app and sign up with code CANCELLED. Then press play on your favorite games to join the fun! The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1800-GAMBLER or in West Virginia visit www.1800gambler.net In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling, call 888-789-7777 or visit CCPG.org. Please play responsibly. 21+ . Physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania,West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. Eligibility and other restrictions apply. One offer per new casino customer. Casino Credits are non-withdrawable and expire in 168 hours. Terms at casino.draftkings.com/getfifty. Ends October 6 2024 Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A Produced by: https://instagram.com/oscaralva

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge then mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with igaming ontario hello and welcome back to the cancelled podcast so i was exhaling vape smoke like a piece of shit. Yeah, that'll be good for my extreme illness. Oh, my bad. I'll go this way with it. Honestly, send her over.

Send her over. Welcome back. Red Rover, Red Rover. I just want to thank you guys for showing up today. But I didn't know I had the option. I'm just kidding. I wanted to be here. I love you guys so much.

Brooke is wildly sick. Paige is wildly nervous. Horrified. wanted to be here. I love you guys so much. Brooke is wildly sick. Paige is wildly nervous. Horrified. Don't be nervous. This feels almost like the... I always reference it as the Rainbow Tarp episode, which is just like, oh my God, dude. See, they always want me on.

Yeah, no, they're coming to get you. They're plotting. The Rainbow Tarp episode, which there's got to be a better name for it it's kind of like how the other one's called the marianne episode like it's just like pivotal moments i remember the rainbow tarp episode i feel like we all were like dying and then somehow are like one third of each brain cell together like it made for what i thought to be a really great episode i love that that's a really beautiful story we leave for tour tomorrow are you ready at all dude i am like the

biggest idiot like literally ever though like it's like i can't blame anybody but myself i was just downstairs watching the last episode of canceled and i'm like i had just gotten back from vegas and i'm like this is my last time going this is my last hurrah before tour like i'm not whatever and i'm playing poker right i I went to Vegas again this weekend. Did you do that? This past weekend. Oh, okay. Again, like seven days after filming that one.

Final weekend before we leave, I go to Vegas. And I'm like, I'm going to go for 24 hours on Friday. I left on Tuesday. Never. Yeah, it's never 24 hours. And we know that by now. But like Friday to Tuesday, and you're going to leave only one full day to do everything

before you leave for tour. And then it's like, I did that to myself too. And I wasn't even in Vegas. I just did that because I just wanted to make things harder for myself. Oh yeah. We've been jam packed today. I'm not kidding. Like doing cartwheels all over LA.

We have not had like a split second to breathe. Monday. You could have come home from Vegas Monday. Yep. Dunt hat corner time out. It's just like so stupid. Dude, I didn't even bother texting you to be like, hey, you want to come home anytime soon?

I knew that you were going to leave at the last possible minute. Dude, I had a beautiful flight on Sunday too, and I just watched it pass. Just sat there and watched the flight about to happen and was like, ah, there's Tetris on the sphere. Like, go home! It's so bad. Gotta hang with the emoji sphere it's just i can hate la i don't know what it is lately like it was the only reason i went is because i was like it's friday and there's nothing to do with this weekend that's okay

we're about to be in springfield missouri that's actually we start where vermont burlington i can't stop i can't there's something that's gonna feel so wait i'm excited there's gonna be a reference in every place we can talk about that they're eating they're eating the cats they're eating the dogs where did he say it is springfield missouri yeah it was that close to home and i didn't know this not my springfield but a springfield massachusetts holy fuck get me off the mic is that not the funniest oh wait we not the funniest? Oh, wait, we're going to Springfield, Missouri. No, we're going to Springfield, Mass. Oh, really?

And it's Springfield. But we could just... I don't know. It still works. Dude, I spent an hour today. Mind you, I'm sitting here talking about how I have no fucking time. I spent an hour today trying to get Winnie to do a trick for that they're eating the cats and dogs TikTok. That's hilarious.

I need suitcases to pack. Should we just start off talking about the debate? I feel we fucking have to honestly yeah it feels right it was so good not good but like so entertaining kamala swept the floor with him absolutely it's so i don't know how far i want to take this but it's actually embarrassing because the amount the people who were saying that she had a bugged earring did you see that oh my god yeah i saw that everywhere and then it got debunked people thought it was the bluetooth earring but then it's a specific i know but it's just like it's just like the like the rigged election i'm like you guys cannot lose anything i'm like don't you think if she had a

bluetooth earring if she had a beats clip on don't you think she would have been like that she would have gotten like a forward facing blowout? Like you're not gonna have your ear out. Like, you know what I mean? Exactly. She only had one

tucked behind her ear too. Or she had like, if I had her like adjusting some shit. If I had a Bluetooth earring live on the canceled stage, I would like braid my hair like this.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, wait, what? Or like, imagine she like got some words wrong.

My favorite moment was when she turned to him and you know, with everything in her power, she wanted to say, you mother fuckers. And I almost think that was like deliberate. Like, you know how like in Obama's speech at the DNC, he did, um, he like did the little like crowd sizes and like, it was like a joke.

Like I think she did that almost on purpose. I agree. I agree. Especially because it's well known that her favorite curse word is motherfucker. What's your favorite curse word? I can't say it. It starts with an M and it ends with a. Not E-R.

Oh, really? And it was like the perfect beat with what she was saying. She's like this. Yeah, man. But she was so brilliant. But honestly, it was a lot of like, everyone was saying this. Even the guy on Fox went on and he was like,

yeah, I bet they're celebrating over there right now. I'm like, when he sees that, he's going to literally jump. The cats and dogs shit and like the I have plans shit.

I have a concept of a plan. Can I tell you something right now? Last night, I was awake until like 6 a.m. Obviously scrambling around here trying to figure out if a black corset goes more with camo pants or a white corset for a show in vermont where it literally doesn't even fucking matter pack the corset and go to bed it was too late to text this

to page it was like 5 a.m and i was embarrassed that i was still awake and i was like i'm not gonna send page a tiktok right now like she'll be disappointed in me you're literally my mom i was like it's too late i'm up past my bedtime and she'll be disappointed when she sees it in the morning like i know she was up until 7 a.m so i texted it to myself to remember that's actually hilarious and did you remember at 5.02 a.m like i was just too embarrassed to send it to page but this is one of my favorite memes that's come from the election that trump's claim about people eating pets perfectly syncs to the peanuts theme song. But how did they figure that out? Please?

I don't know, but I love people. This is why I love the internet, because who the fuck figures this out? Are you ready? They're eating the dogs, the people that came in. They're eating the cats. They're eating the pets of the people that live there. Like, Albie's fucking it was a snoopy song and someone figured that out within five minutes have you seen people do that with like the intro to chapel

rowan's song which one ultra modern girl i don't know if i know it oh it's so good that's the thing is it's like i knew trump was gonna be trumpy but like it's surpassed my expectations dude he's just like a wind-up toy you pull the string and he has the same five phrases that he repeats every single time the immigrants yeah yeah china the wall dude so many people were like and this is again how you know i'm so fucked in the head like i had just come home from vegas gambling all weekend and then i found out too late that people were like betting on the election like sports betting or not the election oh my god on the debate you should now's the time to bet on the election though i'd say oh my god i'm going to did you see well yeah you did see taylor endorsed kamala

oh yeah i did uh-huh speaking of cats yeah very said childless cat lady i love her did you see that jd vance his speech he's like talking shit about like the people who basically he's like and they're just at home these childless cat ladies and everyone in the crowd was like oh that's not then that's why taylor said that yes thing. She is so deliberate. And just intelligent. I also think she was very deliberate in when she decided to endorse Kamala. Because she's been withholding that information from us for a long time.

And she chose right after. You know what I mean? The best time ever when it's like, he's already down. Now let's just push it over the top. Add some insult to injury. It is crazy, the Swifties pull. She did say she encourages everybody to do their own research and make their own decision she didn't say vote for kamala right but like if she wears blue like there are no blue tops at zara for six months like it's just like by

nature so many people will like you know that was a horrifying example but again i'm frank you know trump's shaking in his boots but and then he's gonna call the election does interest me i'm getting too passionate is like how like kamala's official tiktok is using like the dolphin meme right like and obviously this is all being so memed because it is like a lot of shit that's going on in the political world right now is like so memeable reality television right like do you think that our generation is going to vote like i hope they are or are they just like making tiktoks and like watching i think a lot of people aren't actually gonna go out and vote i hope they do i've been keeping up so hard with the cody ford and tiana robillard drama see that's something i don't know about so we met tiana in london love

her so fucking much i'm i like weirdly i've talked about this with ty several times there's something about her that's like she's so magnetic i can't even describe it like i'm enamored by her i think she's so beautiful and like i just really remember like hanging out with her i mean like but i feel this way like about you guys as well like how can it like how could anybody do that especially just their story in the sense that like he cheated once behind the scenes and she said if you do this again i'm out like she gave him you know like more of an opportunity than he even deserved still went on to get engaged to this man then he did it again and she's mad that or he's mad that she brought it

online it's like i want to mop the floor with you round one so it's like you know right and so now he's on some godforsaken podcast in someone's studio apartment that i don't know actually literally where it was immediate retraction but and he's on this whole fucking tangent about how a that he would never take her back because of her going online. Oh, the way I would stop him. And talking about it. And it's like, it's so funny how often men do that. Like, where the fuck do you have the gall and the wherewithal and the balls to fucking assume she would take your bum-cheating, lying ass back? Then he goes on this whole tangent about how she still has one of

his balenciaga jackets okay but if all you're doing is flexing gucci flip-flops fuck it hit your bitch in my socks thing you can't come online and whine about one balenciaga jacket like that like you cheated on her multiple times and you're worried about a jacket you're also negating your entire like hot shot flexing image by like whining over like right because if you're mr money bags just go buy a new one and then then after jacket v1 gate come to find out come to find out so first of all he's dating like a girl immediately after being with her so then it's like did you even care about the engagement at all in all the years oh and she's already wearing tiana's jacket and so this girl also kind of resembles tiana and is posting with this guy i've just never understood a bitch who is

immediately ready sorry girl i i'm not lobbying any hate here but it is hard for me to wrap my head around a woman who wants to immediately be with a man who just like cheated on someone especially in like the realm of engagement and you know he's probably like oh well she's crazy but it's like yeah that's what i was gonna say in those those situations it's always the guy telling them a completely different story that nobody knows that is fair but like this one is so public that it's like one plus one equals two on your four you baby i know but i've been that stupid before that's fair and so not defending her team but then this bitch posts on her grid in tiana's jacket so you had the gall and the wherewithal after your new great value up and up version of tiana is posting in

the jacket to then be fucking mad about your balenciaga jacket like oh this is crazy like you got a refund oh that's fucking crazy is the jacket a women's jacket like a like is it clearly like a girl's jacket or is it like a my heart she could have thought it was i know you're so passionate i am so passionate because i just like fucking love tiana do you know what i'm saying like is it could it be is it his jacket that they both wore or is it her jacket it's so funny because it could be a 3xl and i'd be like it's her jacket like it does i don't give up i know i don't like i'm not defending the situation at all i'm just trying to understand how this happened because if i saw a girl's if a guy it's actually happened to me recently i had a guy be like oh you can wear like my ex's thing

i'm like no i can't and i got so my oh my god do you know my ex guys do that like that's happened to me guys do that like what the you could just wear theirs it'll fit you and it's like do you not know why that's not okay to say to me my ex has been wearing my fucking vivian westwood necklace for the past eight months page that's a gay person and there's nothing wrong with that you know i asked that shit back too and he goes oh no i lost it i'm like i know you have it hidden under your fucking pillow with his claw clips baby with like five of my thongs you want to talk about your relapse oh god oh yeah we can also just say it's so funny because like we're on such opposite sides of tiktok like you guys have that going on and you know what i have what rock competitions what the fuck is a rock competition rock cleaning

competition what do you mean we're like two people clean a rock and aaron are you on this side it's like a bunch of people aaron felt like a weird attack yeah that felt like that yeah like i don't know autism talk but it's all these people who are like racing each other to like clean and polish rocks as fast as they can to like see who's reflects like a mirror first should we do that on stage i was just going to say that that's so weird you took the words out of my mouth like you guys are on drama talk and the loser has to swallow it the loser has to chew it until their teeth look like what i won't say because i've grown oh my god you know i know what you were gonna say cup there was like four options they all fit who's to say i'm not on talk either though you know because it's like i just want to be i just

want to i just want to i just want to like if i see one more of those dolphins i'm actually gonna like forget the alphabet dude like i know like i have forgotten the alphabet but you know the greek one i do that's my pick me will you tell us about your relapse please fuck but i know you have to be careful and obviously you can explain why you have to be careful no i'm not even walking on eggshells let's air it out good for you all right so oh god i didn't even tell you this how did this happen like how what was the first move you oh page yeah so i texted him it's funny because i think rainbow tarp episode god make me stop referencing that you were talking

about how you were like clean off him showing your cerebral and i said the ball was in your court and you were so powerful so long as that was true well full relapse here um i fully texted him i said hi i'm off my meds the things you never say to a man it all be centered around your mental health like like like sending back your cerebral when you're in a good spot but but then saying, hi, I'm off my, like, that's funny. Well, like I have to let him know what it is. It's kind of like backhanded, like, hey, I'm, I'm, I'm relapsing. Out of my mind. So I'm texting you.

Yeah, exactly. Were you just like, was just like the rose toy not hitting? Yeah, was everything. Like what was it? Too overwhelming. And you were like, I obviously have to self-harm. No, if anything, I, yeah, I think my life has been really boring lately so you want to destroy the pot it's not even boring it's just been good and stable which to me is like yeah we had this talk last episode sometimes you just want to create

i just had to like yeah throw some spice in there yeah that's why i have a gambling problem now like it all comes out yeah like you just swap one addiction for another my current one's gonna be this man so texted him i said hi i'm off my meds he said in a good way or a way that i shouldn't enable and i said probably shouldn't enable but i want you to so then this man facetimes me not even five seconds later i'm like oh no this is a beautiful love story something's brewing and i hate to support it but i know so he facetimes me we have this whole conversation catching up and he's like well what are you doing tonight i'm not busy if you want to come over we can like talk have a bottle of wine so immediately talk and have a bottle of

wine let's get serious here page so i was like yes of course i would love to have a mature platonic friend conversation with you over a bottle of wine i said should i bring no you brought your knee pads you know it i brought scble. Why is it so much fun? You're like, you're spelling it out. yeah. Fuck me. Yeah.

Right. Right. Right. I'm like, so what are we? Thank you. I couldn't get there. Um,

at all. And you know what? I know he watches too because he confessed. So if you're watching, it's fine. Boom. Right.

So anyway, I go over there. We talk. We have wine. We talk again. Oh, oh and well the next was it immediate no no no we actually did talk we had great conversations great catch-ups he told me he watched the podcast and you know she holds his wiener when he pees which i think i don't know that's not weird at all don't let her make you think that's okay i'm sorry because who the hell

am i to shame anyone for anything, right? I'm just like. Yeah, we know what you've done. Wait, I also want to know, I texted you the last episode that I was editing or like watching. You say something weird during sex and you never text me back. I know, I left you a secret. God. Why don't you tell her what it was?

Can you please just right now just. I need to know, I need to know. Tell her what it was. I'll share one with you wait will you share one if it depends on what yours is okay okay okay can you start because i need to reference the degree of severity this this is okay for those who don't know because i might cut it out of the next podcast i still have the liberty you know what i mean to like cut it out of the episode you're referencing okay i was essentially saying that i was having this conversation with

ty we somehow both said something that we like will say to someone when we're having sex ty said his and then i said mine and i thought like i was just saying something like not that bad and then like ty couldn't look me in the eyes for an hour like type shit so then it made me self-conscious about what i was saying but i don't think it's something you should say online wait you should know it i was gonna say say it with your chest into the mic okay i'm gonna have to believe the last two words so oscar do this one on your own you got this okay we can leave in the first two words oh no fuck no i can't i actually can't and it's so funny because you know me. I come on here and literally talk about avatar porn.

Yeah. So it's like, Ty made me feel bad. Okay, well, let's rewrite this. I don't think it's that bad. Now that I'm thinking about it, I think I know what it was. Here's what I want to say, okay? Obviously, I'm 26, okay? Santa, don't.

We don't need the fucking bad story. In this amount of time, I've been able to kind of figure out what I think works. Like, fuck your. And then you could add. Like. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's crazy. That's crazy.

Not even just like okay but again this is like a mad lip like it's interchangeable for like seven different things like it doesn't have like that's one of seven things but then I thought

she said then I thought she said like and not what about my fuck my but it's yours but it belongs to you.

It's not me, dude. I'm not the one buzzing and not from that. I'm literally red. No, you're just the one saying it, babe. And I say some crazy shit. Okay, give us one of yours. I feel like that's not even,

well, actually, that one's like a little. I just want to clarify that that's like one of like 20 rotatable phrases. And I'm going to throw up. You have that Vinny? Can you text it to me?

Because I need new ones to try out. Three. I had a third point as to why this is okay. I feel like mine aren't like that crazy. I say a lot of crazy shit though. I just say like. Obviously it's me. I can't shut up.

It's crazy though how different guy to guy will be. Because like one guy you can be like daddy. And the next guy is like why the fuck would you say that uh-huh yeah not in my experience just what i've heard so no one else i don't really have good one like i'm not i'm not like really that vocal yeah i feel like you're very like i just hit some like mariah carey like some whistle tones yeah no i i just hit the classic and i hope you know i'm not doing this every single time sorry to cut you off i know i didn't know this is good she keeps i'm saved by the bell i'm just thinking about like bill and joel watching this or not click out bill and joe yum please jesus christ

um oh my god you make me so fucking wet hide me yeah okay i'll hit a good yeah i need more therapy i hit that one two nights ago and i was like me me and then he was like wait really i go wait actually no no no like i came to my senses literally came to your senses so long as you're not well red rover red rover okay before i continue my story you know how people oh my god i'm so sorry for the segue no please um you know how people who have like had amputated limbs get like phantom limb? Yes. So I lost a nail. And I keep going from like this distance to scratch my face.

That's really funny. Phantom. Can I know a little more about phantom limbs? So you're telling me right now. And I don't actually know how to demonstrate without being offensive. Yeah, don't try it. I'm actually going to sit back down with my limbs um why did that feel backhanded i'm gonna actually use my limb no you're saying the phantom limb would possess me being like oh my water

no it's like if your leg just got chopped off you they can get pain in their leg even though it's gone oh my god they'll be like oh my knee hurts oh my water i'm crying i'm literally crying i hate this i don't even know what is happening she just reached for her arm without using her arm oh but like essentially like imagine like right now i was like oh my baby and then i was like oh fuck this is graphic like that's what i thought fans and limb meant. Brooke is, if you have like an amputated limb, like you sometimes still get the sensation that it's there. Or like you can feel pain or like nerve endings. That's actually crazy.

That's how when you cut a lizard's tail off, it can still move its tail. Anyway, keep going. What do you mean? What do you mean it can still move its tail? Yeah, the tail will keep moving even though it's not attached to the lizard anymore. Oh. It's like chickens with their head. But that's kind of like how when people cut off their finger and they like put it on ice. What tail? The tail will keep moving even though it's not attached to the lizard anymore. Mm-hmm. Oh. It's like chickens with their head.

But that's kind of like how when people cut off their finger and they like put it on ice. Nothing like that. What's the fish that you can eat that like is still moving

when you eat it? I'll never know or be a part of that. Okay. That's terrifying. But anyway, yeah. So I keep itching my face from out here

because I have phantom nail. Back to the man. Back to the computer. Okay, yeah. So we talked, you you know all night we really caught up yeah um talked horizontally yeah some good combos um and then the next morning i did my classic i roll over i grab my phone call my car call my uber and he was like what are you doing i was like i'm just gonna go home he's like well no he's like i want to go get ice cream i was like uh okay breakfast yeah i don't know i like him i don't um oh so he was like she does look at her kicking her little

feet i know feet are planted ten toes down ten toes down we spent like essentially we sent spent like the whole day together we went prancing around santa monica farmer's market went got coffee together worked on his car i was like do i look like megan fox from transformers thank you but i like didn't leave his house until like 5 30 or 6 p.m next day wake up go about my day i get a text from him at five o'clock and he's like what are you doing tonight can you be at the palladium by 8 30 to go see mickey and i was like honestly sure so went to a concert with him had um a time straight out of like a rom-com movie except for there was no calm nothing about this is funny you're back in it

she's like and that's why i'm walking with a limp today i'm just kidding are you happy honestly yeah okay and i will be real about this like i think now that i've had some time away from him i can actually see it for what it is and like i don't have him there's no limerence here now no i'm serious i'm serious but that's what i kept saying when i kept going it is the tale as old as time is it i think so it's but it's i get it because you really believe it i really believed it and like i knew what it was but it still hurt me the same fuck even though i knew i just i was more aware of i tell this to people often like if you have a fuck buddy and it's just a fuck buddy and that's all you want it to be i think you should still and i get it some people can't like two people at once but like be going on a date or two or like imploring other things the most important

thing she would tell me that all the time and i never listen to her because i'm like i already have somebody i don't want to put the energy into it if i had done that i could have avoided my whole mr big situation well that's the difference this time i do have someone else oh good yeah are you are you what who i met him literally and i mean this with my whole fucking chest as if they took man one to a lab and elon musk made him again like i i like i've never seen this clone they look identical they act identical like it is like fucked it's fun but man number two really likes me that's the difference and that's all you need so i met him at my friend nikki's wedding and we immediately hit it off like instant chemistry hello you told me about this yes your your

version of my yes yes straight out of the movie saying that she was a that she was attracted to this man because she walked in carry into karaoke and he was queening out to chapel roan like performing like but saying like i wanted to fuck this guy so bad because he was queening out is like the most bro i have to be so honest i went this entire like i went the entire night talking to him thinking that we were just we were queening out together i really had no idea yes and then he started kissing me and i'm like wait what's going on and i was so pleasantly surprised biggest fantasy i know so everything's good around here that's good seriously i think like now i can approach it like i've taken him off the pedestal there's no limerence here i think i

can like really see it for what it is now and like i see him in such like a different light yeah so long as you just, just don't spend too much time with him. That's like, that's a mistake I would make. I'd go right back to normal and I would be there fucking five days a week. And then I'd want to kill him, like die.

Fuck. I just text him back. I'm supposed to see him tonight. Honestly, though, I'm proud of you. Keep the two. I actually play a little game right now.

Even like, say you're going to see him in the bail last minute, like give him a little of his own medicine. Haze him a little. I know you're watching this. i don't give a fuck motherfucker dude no never mind i know i don't think he likes me so i'm just honing in on that cleaning in on that if you will he does really like you fucking ass why was i gonna say take a nap you're weird i'm like you guys should go hang out like fuck um but yeah so i relapsed

big time it's okay it happens to the best of us it does it really sorry i just had war flashbacks literally i i saw it happen i have so many random topics for us like it's actually insane me too i have some goofy ones do you guys know what tom brady looks like like from memory of course yeah okay like if you close your eyes you can really picture tom brady right now right i'm from massachusetts so last night he was like the cover of my netflix screen like just his face do you know how much he made sorry no i kind of want to know i'm working on myself i'm working on myself you're perfect i think you're perfect you're fine say it they gave him a 375 million dollar contract yes to correspondent for fox and everyone it was kind of interesting in the football

community because everyone thought he was just kind of like fuck this shit i'm out like gonna go be on a farm or whatever i don't that's what mccoy tells me i don't know he tried to leave football for his wife and then she left him for jujitsu instructor oh i forgot about that and he kisses his son on the lips yeah makes out so obviously it was like rumored he was dating kim kardashian like even like nikki glazer and the rose was saying like i want to fuck you so bad like it is commonly discussed that like tom brady's hot like do you guys think tom brady's hot i think he looks like something happened to him i think it's like when someone's too perfect when someone's

like hilarious too perfect like the ken doll thing creeps me out like bleep this obviously like it's like it's like uncanny valley to me um but now i just look shaming tom brady he's obviously hot to the rest of america like steph obviously traditionally hot i don't like when he smiles i feel like it looks like his face hurts like that one like it looks like that he was like made in a factory no he's hot he's for sure hot though i don't know what i'm talking about he's hot yeah no he's yeah but then they're like channing tatum i feel the same way everyone's like he's so hot i'm like doesn't do it for me but i don't feel that way because no but then when he's laughing isn't like isn't like cookie cutter sexy sexy sexy he has like kind of some grit he has like fucked up teeth

not fucked up he's so stupid I kind of want to be the son please cut me Brooke you are so funny please leave it it's so funny I just said I want to be Tom Brady's son so I mean we're really doing great over here

how did I miss that no it's good that you did and then i reset it can i tell you can i tell you the worst thing about the canceled podcast what well maybe just a top three um i always always always miss every good joke she has because i'm just i can't pay attention to what she's saying sometimes no no no that's not what i meant that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. No, stop, I'm getting red.

I'm getting red. I'm getting red, that's not what I meant. I meant- No, I meant like I'm, I'm like, I'm just absent-minded and I'm always like for some reason thinking about like where the conversation is gonna be in 10 minutes. So like sometimes I'll miss like her best jokes

and then it's so, it sucks so bad to watch it back and realize i could have responded to something so funny and i missed it but also like or sometimes it'll be like while we're both talking at the same time so i don't hear it and i'm like oh god that was a good one what was on the last episode we always just talk about though like i'm always like i'm just swinging and then sometimes i hit like i just i'm always saying you know what i mean so it's not like so funny and that's my biggest thing i need to pay closer attention to what you're saying and i know that's my job no i think it's we're just here to yap i don't give a fuck like we're fine okay can we also i not to circle all the way back to the presidential debate but like i've been seeing my

a lot of my for you page as well right now is like the guys who go out and street interview the trump supporters and like yeah and they just don't even well yeah it's no it's fucking insane like they'll be like how do you feel that biden said you know you can abort a baby after birth and then like they'll ask the trump support and they're like biden for prison that's horrible and they'll be like wait trump said it and they're like actually that's amazing like it's just the most insane shit i've ever seen and then trump said this on the debate last night, which is, are there people out there? Like I am like boggled by this,

scrabbled by it, if you will. Okay. That there are people out there that genuinely believe there are abortions happening after nine months. You're telling me people are out there believing that they're like yeeting the baby and snapping its neck at nine months. You're telling me people are out there believing that they're like yeeting the baby and snapping its neck at nine months? I think there are.

Or I mean, now there are because, you know, Timmy in Missouri was like, what Trump say during the debate? He was like, and they execute the babies after they're born. He said, I bet even after birth. Yeah. So random. But I saw a TikTok the other day and it was like i want to hear your weirdest like hear me out for a person or a character dinner table conversation okay i want to go around and

say like your weirdest hear me out either like a person an actor like unconventionally attractive or like a character someone weird but get weird with a oh i was about to just give you hot takes yeah about like anything yeah like or is it a person like someone that you'd fuck okay so we're something hear me out a person yeah or something okay like a character okay i can start okay i think you should it's right rango okay isn't that like that can you play the one who also likes the um the uncle from lion king scar yes so what page i like him i completely completely completely understand he looks that looks like every ex-boyfriend i've ever had oh you ate with ringo you ate with ringo

i don't even know if i can top that sure I don't even know if I can top that. For sure. Look at him in the cowboy hat. Oh, I have so many. Yup. Scrawny little thing. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Wow.

I need to... What's your hand meal? I said Scar from The Lion King, but... Now I gotta look that up. Hold. So hot. Scar. Or Aaron's looking it up, I guess. I like when we use this. It makes me feel like we're theo i know

oh sexy no wouldn't struggle or resist you but you have to know his personality okay i have one where i also agree that you have to know the personality is this beast yet like are we allowed to say it's a cartoon yeah squidward you lost me no first of all what was how would you you would not even get along and there's a lot of different you know i think i already did the whole handsome squidward thing yeah you've already been around handsome squid no but just squidward like like regular squidward yeah you know what you know what a big nose means i was just about to say this pussy on his nose i love that that's not where i was going what is that um what are other hear me outs oh paul dano for like an actual person maybe specifically as the riddler okay

yeah you i don't think you have me with this see that's why it's my weird hear me out i don't know what that is oh oh oh got it hello voldemort no and i like even know but i just need to look again yeah i get completely get it actually i look i like he looks like he's really been through some things yeah i don't know if you'd want to sit on his face though it might be anticlimactic. I need to look up one for him. No, no. Like I'm into it. A smooth ride. I'm super into it.

And you just slide right off. Never mind. Too far. He's like got a drain on his face. I was full to more. I'm doing some market research over here before I announce one. Right, right, right. I do have this weird fetish.

I think I've told you before. Like this kink where I really want to fuck someone like in a scream mask but almost like not or like michael myers but i don't know who's like under like he's wearing it oh you don't know who's under it yeah i would yeah that's something to tell them the people back at cerebral about yeah i need to check him out weird but i mean i'm not here we go okay okay thank you i think that's like hot and iconic. Right. Like Michael Myers, so hot. That is a hear me out.

That doesn't even feel like a hear me out to me. Michael Myers could get it every single fucking day. No, I don't fuck with a wide neck. So hot. I do, like when your hand can't make it. Not that I'm a choking man. Your hands aren't supposed to be able to make it. She's like. But like, there's a difference difference would make you feel so tiny

and i need that because i got mitts nikocado avocado so i wasn't familiar with him before this what right were you yeah because trisha and trisha's always like been kind of a stan of him right but yeah i remember seeing him like back in the day well i mean he kind of started the he does like muck bait like really really terrifying muck bangs yeah but like yeah the trend of in my opinion like rage baiting muck bangs like jelly beans to make people upset nikakado ran so jelly bean sweets could walk i don't know who jelly beans nikakado walked so jelly bean sweets could run i don't know how the phrase was it was that it was that yeah no but he would like eat so like pure gluttony but and he would like make he would like make a point of it like barking at his food type like oh it turned into like a

serious rage baiting thing because there was a point where he was like, had needing like a CPAP breathing machine to like stay alive. But then like housing 30 munchie meals from Jack in the box type shit. And people were like, I know it sounds amazing. Um, whatever people were livid. He's still been posting this whole time. And then just comes online a couple days ago gaunt as fuck saying

two steps ahead babe he's skinnier than me no wait you couldn't inject all of the like wagovi manjaro ozempic that every real housewives of beverly hills has taken in the last year and like get like that no he wouldn't inject it but he got gastric bypass did year and like get like that. No, he wouldn't inject it, but he got gastric bypass. Did he? And like a skin surgery, a skin graft. Well, because he doesn't have loose skin. That's why people are like talking about him being maybe AI. But what I find most unbelievable about this situation

is his ability to bank that many videos in order to be posting that often, especially if it's if it's that um extreme of eating yeah i 100 agree with that like but it's i was like just imagine us trying to bank like two years worth of shit to like come back as like a sister mormon wife with cbls right yeah kind of good i'm mormon wife with the bbl but it's so funny because he's like being so cryptic about it and he's like two steps ahead i am always two steps but it's like probably got his brain no but he but he's like this was the best social experiment ever conducted but it's like wait

what was the experiment like am i missing something like you were bullying me and look but like welcome to the internet i guess but like what was he doing what was the point like where was the experiment i think it was just a show like he won at a game that only he's playing like yeah i guess that's like i get i think it's just trying to say like you all were hating and now i'm the third hadid like i am gone i turn to the side and disappear. And y'all thought I was on the CPAP with nachos. Like I think that's the whole point. It is kind of like jokes on you guys. Cause like here you are engaging with my content and I've been skinny.

I've been out here skinny. I guess healing healthy. Yeah. I mean, I'm just happy for him cause he's probably doing well. Right. Like feeling healthier. Yeah.

I mean, you've got obviously like, you know what I mean? Um, the Apple dance obviously as like a time stamp is kind of genius because obviously then people could argue that he reshot the content before yeah but i guess that little proved to prove that but oh he did it as a skinny person like but then why is there a part of me that's also like, I kind of think it's AI or like,

like someone's doing the apple dance and then they're superimposing his face. Like he's dubbed or what's it called? Um, deep faked. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Yes. Unless she was, unless I was slaying.

Do you remember like you would go on jib jab and like put your face like on the house? That's my favorite thing to do. Are you kidding? Like that's what it reminded me of when I did T tana dance that's what they're doing i kind of think that's what he's doing nothing is funnier than that still to this day like doing that on christmas it lights my fucking soul we need to send out postcards this year christmas cards i think we are on the patreon oh my god we have to do like the elves we're like stepbrothers i identify as skinny what happened to his hair that's what he he wanted that

everyone's calling him like the white drake why is he kind of giving andrew tate to me he does i think it's the bald head but i like that haircut i think i prefer him bald i'm gonna say something that oh wait wait okay so can you go to youtube and then click up because i've only seen the TikToks. I want to see. But still, white wall. Like, a part of me thinks there's something we still don't know. Like, I wouldn't be.

Or maybe this is a social experiment to see how much more attention he gets when he's skinny. And then he pops out and he's like, no, actually, I'm still fat. Oh. Yeah, click that. Click that. Two steps ahead. 38 million views. The panda head.

It's all giving ketamine to me and to who are we to judge me waking up five minutes before my alarm latest social experiment for my entire life it's alluring bro thinks he's the riddler me when i get hammered for the weekend to y'all it's like greatest social experiment me when i order vaped for the weekend to y'all. Greatest social experiment. Me when I order vapes without you having to ask. Rivalries where they feel encouraged and engaged, where they involve themselves.

I wish it was a marshmallow helmet for no specific reason. Become a product of influence. Keep it playing. Just right where we're at. I'm thirsty for a distraction from time unspent. Spoiling their minds, yet stimulating them at the same time. It's brilliant. But then, like, me trying to reach the word count of an essay.

Like, what? I get what you're saying. Like, what really is the point? I'm monitoring ants on an ant farm can i see him like just without no please and infect the minds of the ants but this doesn't could not have to answer this man. You are the ants. Yeah. I think his brain might be a little scrambled.

Today I woke up from a very long dream. And I also woke up having lost 250 pounds off of my body. It's so dramatic for a lot. This is literally everyone in Hollywood

after like one Ozempic shot, though. It's whatever. I mean, but you also have to think about like to ever be doing what he was originally doing. You got to be a little silly, goofy. Yeah, something has to be a little bit like screw loose. Yeah. So. But same here. I want him on the canceled podcast. you gotta be a little silly goofy yeah something has to be a little bit like screw loose yeah so but same here i want them on the canceled podcast i just want to know what the two steps were

i guess like i pre-filmed all this content and while you were all mindlessly hating on me for something that you thought i couldn't control or change i was controlling and changing it so therefore i'm ahead of you by exactly two steps wait if you could damn you won i guess we should conduct a social experiment i'm just not smart enough me neither i'm two steps behind at all times i couldn't agree with you more same that olivia rodrigo song one step forward actually me steps back i've been touring houses in vegas and there's been this house that's like my dream house like i'm like this house is so gorgeous like grand staircases like the casita of the house has already turned into a podcast studio all this stuff like

or like a studio known right then and there like i know but i just didn't put two and two together but like i'm just on zillow and i'm looking at this whole house but get this and it's like you don't like a grand desert home looks like like everything's kind of tan and brown or whatever the walls of this entire house are purple suede and i'm like do i get this house and just like redo the walls and like whatever and i'm on this whole tangent because i'm like especially in vegas and in the neighborhood it's in in in Vegas like it's very unlikely in my opinion like just that whatever I'm on this whole tangent I'm like who the fuck would have this house and do this to this house like it's got to be like just someone who's a little wild whatever yeah

and I went on this whole fucking TikTok tangent that I'm still fucking pissed about I flew to Vegas to tour this house and they I got scammed up down left right boots the house down diagonal sister okay which i can tell you about if you want but whatever anyways i make this whole tiktok and then bunny texts me and it's jelly rolls house she's like if you want to tour our house it's for sale and i'm like jelly roll would just take this like vegas desert mansion in like paint it purple, purple, purple suede. And she's like, we can change the color in a day.

Like we have a team, like, of course you have a team that can make a whole 6,000 square foot mansion purple in a day. So was it like the house that you got scammed by or like the real estate agent? Like bunny saw my tick talk about the house. So then she was like,

Hey, ours is for sale. And I was like, that's weird. I almost looked at it, but the purple suede kind of had me, you know, that is so funny. Like what are the odds that I guess weird i almost looked at it but the purple suede kind of had me you know oh that is so funny like what are the odds that i

guess hi because like podcast studio purple suede walls like of course bunny it kind of just fucking makes me want to get it because i'm like if jelly roll like this no i would get it just to be able to say like like i bought jelly rolls bunny roll bunny roll we used to live here and just like good energy in there i am just pissed as god is there at real estate agents for real that's true there's probably such good vibes in that house which i do care about i don't know i found this house on instagram reels which i know you can already have a lot to say about right finding a guy on tinder and expecting him to be good that's it's so true it's like this isn't like a cool pair of boots dude it's it's a property but i see this

fucking real and i'm like it's the most beautiful house it's it's a property but I see this fucking real and I'm like it's the most beautiful house it's in my dream neighborhood it's fucking gorgeous is that it has everything I want it has a movie theater it has a pool it has a beautiful giant master it's like my color scheme I'm imagining every single piece of these gray couches in it finally like I'm just I'm like yes I love it so much that I set up an appointment I'm like I don't want anyone else to take an appointment I'm flying there I want to see this house immediately I almost bought the damn house and just had a marigold look at it like I was this set on this house and I show up and first of all the neighborhood it's advertised in it's just like 25 minutes out of essentially I

could have been driving like back to California in the location this ends up being. And it's like in the cutoff of like the end, one of the ends of Vegas. And I'm just like, okay. And I go in to tour the house and I show up and this woman who seems like she would rather be anywhere else gets out of her car. She just seems pissed. I'm like, okay, whatever. Um, and she opens the door for me into this house and I walk in to a literal crack home. Like it is just so, like I've never, like obviously all real estate photos are like, they use wide lenses and like yada yada.

Like I understand like a little bit of scammetry. You're going to turn the contrast up, turn the saturation up, turn the whatever up. Like the tiles of this floor were put on with lash glue and fucking a dream and like it's gonna go a dream it's always a dream i can't stop with that did you see the reel no because i i was so curious after she told the story on tiktok i was like please send me the reel because i need to see it she only showed me on screen recording she didn't send me the reel i

think it's because i if she had sent it to me i would have given her a hard time about it but it was so obvious that this place was a dinky dinky house so am i just dumb and you know in my opinion because i think it looks like it looks like it's taken on 0.5 like i need to see it all and it looks you can see how low the ceilings are like very clearly see all houses and like reels and videos like even even this house, like the videos I saw of it were like 0.5. Like I know the like game. It was just more like in the real, what is advertised as a movie theater is a basement that like has a ladder entrance,

a ladder. Like, and it's like, they took the movie screen out. So it's just a basement. Like don't make it a movie theater in the real mentioned the ladder. Maybe right. Like they're like, but we have to take a ladder. Like don't make it a movie theater in the real. Mention the ladder maybe. Right. Like they're like, but you have to take a ladder.

Like four of the rooms are like hot pink and green and purple. Do you have pictures of the house or like videos of the house? I have this real. Let me turn the music off. People found it on TikTok, which pissed me off. Okay. Here's the real. It looks gorgeous.

Prime example here. That looks nice. No, that is not a low ceiling. That is not a low ceiling. is not yeah you're right you're right you're right but in that other photo you showed me low ceilings no same video this is the only video in i know but this kitchen island looks big right like a couple people gorgeous thank you well i think maybe i was watching it with what i already knew in mind yeah like this that looks like a movie room i can't go back i can't pause i don't want to use instagram reels i'm not an andrew tate fan um oh sorry that was like are there andrew tate fans yeah really top top

boy top okay that's so terrifying you know how many imagine walking that looks like a beautiful stunning gorgeous gorgina home wait for the movie theater like i'm imagining like setting up chairs there yeah i might have been watching it because i already knew that looks like a big master seeing it that way already that looks like a big there were no closets all the closets in the house like you'd slide the door open or open the door and just no shelves no rods like don't you think that should be like something we should again okay they had to have paris filter facetune facetune video like pussy son nikita dragon edit a video style to make these floors not look like they were Again, they had to have Paris filter, Facetune, Facetune video, like pussy son, Nikita Dragon,

edit a video style to make these floors not look like they were literally held together with like jet puff marshmallow. What's that? Like, I just, I don't see like how awful it can be in person if it looks like that in the video. That's what I'm saying. I'm so glad you went to look at it though

because I'm so the type to like buy a house sight unseen and just like, and just trust my gut. And one thing about me is my gut has never been right. I just like I completely understand a bit of scammetry. 0.5 A Paris filter. Like I actually like what I want to like call her up and be like, how the fuck did you do that? But it's kind of like catfishing,

like like real life catfishing. It's like, what was your intention? Because she made this point. She's like, I was obviously going to go look at the house. Like house like what did they think it's not a crop top i'm not just gonna like amazon two-day prime it like i don't think you can't return that that's like i just don't understand why real estate agents like really try to make something look i guess because maybe like they could set up the tour and someone could go and want a fixer-upper or like it just brings draws yeah maybe just get them in the door i guess i was just being an out-of-town client i was yeah you would have liked to know those additional details you know it was brings draws in more clients. Yeah, maybe it just gets them in the door. I guess I was just being an out of town client.

I was a little upset. Yeah, you would have liked to know those additional details. You know, it was in the valley. Like I would have loved, you know, it's, but. Before you fly to Vegas. Uh-huh. Girl, you know you were flying to Vegas regardless. Abso-fucking-lutely.

You're so right. I don't even know. Damn. I'm sorry you got scammed. I'm also a victim all the time of online propaganda. But I'm happy that i went to vegas this weekend because for the first time one of my favorite insane bets finally worked yay i have this one bet that i like to do and every like people at the table will literally scream like no at me i've had dealers what is it on poker no one roulette

um like i've had so many dealers even the previous weekend be like stop doing this you're never going to win it's so dumb where on the numbers you can bet on all the numbers on roulette where you put a thousand dollars on one number and if it hits they pay one to 36 you make 36 thousand dollars and I did it this time and I won I turned a thousand dollars into 36 thousand dollars I fell to the floor I bit my lip I was bleeding on the resorts world floor it was the best moment of my life so exciting and it was my favorite dealer ikaika i'm always talking about ikaika ikaika i love you it was just the best moment i love that i'm so proud of you what are you going to do with your 36 000 so crazy we lost i'm kidding but i am so excited for our show in vegas i like wish i could set up like a fun little like gamble with me after

with like the people who come. I'm so excited. We both have our hometown shows back to back. Which is sick as fuck. Like that's so special. And then we come back here and do it here.

Yeah, that's so exciting that we like end with our hometowns and then here. And I can't fucking believe we leave on a plane to Vermont tomorrow. I was just thinking that.

I know. And you know we have a layover. I know. And we have so much work to do tonight. Yeah was just thinking that. I know. And you know, we have a layover. And we have so much work to do tonight. Yeah. And I'm terrified. Because we are adding

some last minute craziness to these shows. So when this comes out, if we are still coming to a city near you, not only would we love to meet you, but these shows,

we always say it. You already know. We do just have some really fun stories and I'm excited. I'm hoping nothing as crazy as what happened last time on stage. I'm hoping everyone's phones are down. I'm praying for good, but I will be cautious, but still canceled, and I'm excited.

No dancing lobsters this time, though. I'm so sorry. Don't be too sure. I'm sure that'll be like an entire scandal a year from now where they say I forced you to do it, and i'm like something i'm playing back the clips of me of me literally jumping for joy when you broke the news i stood up bitch people keep telling gabby hannah apologized to me today but she didn't say my name so i don't even know what i'm saying she didn't but like all the videos say like it felt like she did i don't know i think she really like the point of

why i just said that it wasn't just like i'm like that's not what i meant um i didn't think that was what you meant it just sounded like i was like trying to suck my own dick or something weird i don't know the point of this is is i watched gabby hannah's apology video today or when she uploaded it was apparently the 10-year anniversary of her first ever youtube video and she kind of just apologized to people she's collaborated with worked with that she had a big scandal with joey griseff and escaped the night on youtube red where like they said it like she wasn't a pleasure to be on set she kind of apologized to everyone for that she apologized for kind of talking about people's stories without permission essentially that's where like people think it's about me

because she kind of i don't know whatever she apologized for a bunch of stuff and she seemed really like peaceful grown and together in the video and i've been obsessed with the sound recently like there's fucking babies on the fucking street i can't stop saying it like what does she say i need some fucking sleep god i wish i could sleep god that's what me always like god i wish i could fucking sleep like just i've been so exhausted it's been my like vocal stim of the week okay and i keep using it on tiktok and i really want to have gabby hannah on canceled i would love to hear about i think she'd be very interesting and i honestly think she could have like she would have like a lot to offer like actually in a serious way i agree i think it would like be a really cool episode to just hear about everything she's been

through and yeah she's got a story yeah she does I was a big Gabby Hanna fan me too absolutely absolutely and I'm honestly I just feel like she seems so happy so it's good for her I'm happy for her me too we could talk about Kendrick's Super Bowl Lana Del Rey with the alligator guy I don't know if you guys know the lore about All Dogs Go to Heaven, the movie. It has had me in stitches. What? Wait, is that a Suicide Boys thing? No.

Oh. Wait, but they have a song called All Dogs Go to Heaven. I guess that's like. It's a song we have a play on. Is it? It used to be when I was little. Okay, then I am going to like, I do want to tell you this. I have cried about this like seven times in the past. And I've never seen the movie.

Here I go. about this like seven times in the past like and i've never seen the movie oh no like all dogs go to heaven came out late 90s it's an older movie and it's like a kid's cartoon that is apparently about it's probably to teach younger kids about like when their dogs die and like it's kind of a people say it's a sad movie right yeah you've seen it would you like to give me any um additional not in years i just remember like the german shepherd's name is charlie okay so the little girl who voiced the girl on all dogs go to heaven she was just like a little like five or six year old girl and i forget what else she voiced she also did a land before time like one of the dinosaurs she voiced one of them right and she's like a five or six year old girl her name was judith barcy and look how cute she was too look such a little chicken right and she gets like not famous but like some notoriety for voicing

these characters land before time and she becomes kind of successful she's making some money from it whatever her dad murders her what in like before all dogs go to heaven came out like she had just finished she had just finished doing all of the like voice recording as the little girl for the movie and so then the guy hold on one second let me find it for you right now i know and it like comes out that like people have come to the conclusion that the dad murdered her out of like jealousy have come to the conclusion that the dad murdered her out of like jealousy like straight up like it's like fucked up what right so then the guy's voice is Burt Reynolds and come to find out that the final scene of all dogs go to heaven is

obviously her saying like goodbye to the dog before he goes to heaven but the guy burt reynolds who voiced the dog hadn't finished voicing his that scene yet when he found out after she died so he ended up improvising the ending scene because it's her saying goodbye watch this ending scene now knowing that now knowing that no you're gonna actually lose your shit i come to say goodbye where are you going and like he had to oh charlie i'll miss you yeah i'll miss you too like it's completely improvised charlie will i ever see you again? Oh hell no. Sure you can. Sure you can. You know, goodbye is not forever. Then goodbye, Charlie. I love you.

Get that shit, get that shit out of my fucking face. And I don't know what type of mental illness it is, but I can't stop researching more details and watching this video over and over again i'm so horrible this honestly feels so good because i haven't cried in so long because this hasn't happened to me in so long oh my god page i wish i could say this is so opposite because i barely welled up and you know who I am. Oh yeah, you're an immediate. I am stable.

Roles are reversing around you. I don't know what's going on. I know. That is so fucking horrible. I'm really happy for you holding his dick while he pees and crying and shit. I'm really happy for you, man. Really quickly, I do want to circle back to that.

Okay, yep, yep, yep. I've done it, but what was the context? Are we all the way back to holding yeah i just i just wanted to okay rest in peace judith wait yeah we read that that is such a fucking horrible isn't that just crazy like now i need to watch the movie knowing that but oh my god i'll watch it with you that used to be my favorite when i was a little um anyway i don't know i was just drunk one time and i was like can i hold it while you pee and he's like yeah sure and like have we talked about this before maybe i don't know. I was just drunk one time and I was like, can I hold it while you pee? And he's like, yeah, sure. And like, have we talked about this before maybe?

I don't know. Why is this like, I don't even know. Maybe. But like, so like that's how it started and like the last time I hung out with him.

I just like to know that I'm allowed to do things. Oh, for sure. But I ask him like, I just do unhinged up with him all the time. Like I asked how much money it would take for him

to fuck Sonic the Hedgehog. What did he say? He said, well, do people know like is Sonic real? I said, yeah, he's real. He's like, I don't know, like two vodka cray i can't i'm sorry i ruined my own mood over here i'm sorry i'm sorry i don't know no no no no no no no no because why the fuck am i crying about

all dogs good i've never seen the movie you don't have to see the movie to identify with that yeah okay it's really sad stop y'all you're like on a fucking roller coaster um but the last time i hung out with him when i relapsed i had him pee through my hands and i was holding my hands like a heart wait what were your arms around his hips or something no i was like standing off to the side so he's standing and then she sent a photo to the group chat like a basketball hoop no like a heart he was peeing through the middle it always blows my mind when someone does some shit i've never done i feel like now i have to make mikoa pee through my hands but i'm just i'm tired my pussy's tired it's out of office what happened oh you're telling us on the patreon

i think i have to because it's just like graphic i'm gonna use a lot of medical terms okay i think i just like burst a pussy vein or something a pussy vessel yeah like he is a vessel do you do you have veins in your in your like yeah like nerve endings and like but like can you like fuck one up yeah of course do you know your clit's like actually huge talking to me but what do you mean your clit's actually huge like internally it's huge that's like an iceberg. It is. It's like you can only see the tip. Literally. And the rest is like all underground.

Yeah. It's huge. Contrary to popular belief, I did take anatomy and physiology. Oh my God. And it looks like a wishbone. That's hot. So maybe you snapped your wishbone. You made a wish.

Wait, I want really quickly before we end the episode, I'm doing a social social experiment i just want somebody to comment below if you've ever had a positive experience with an iud because i've never heard one ever before i've only heard horrible negative experiences wait i want to get one too i was just thinking about this last night i'm just like i'm thinking about i'm like i don't think i would ever even consider it because i've heard so many horror stories about it but like has anybody had a good iud experience i do hear about a lot of pain but i would love just like a little fucking venus fly trap up there catching these potential plan b one steps you know like it would be nice to not pop them like do you not you don't track your period at all i literally downloaded the flow app like three days ago because i'm sick of this go ahead i know i know this is why you

know i got a text from tana like two nights ago at 11 50 p.m and she goes when did i bleed last i said girl i don't have your uterus i don't know i was really just grasping the keys always to go through your camera and it's like was i there was i bleeding at that time i did that for three and a half hours before i texted you i could not find one photo where i was confidently that makes me feel so seen that other people do that because that's how i track my period like just through my camera i do use i do use the app the people say that you're not supposed to do that for some reason but it's like i don't really care about people stealing my data oh yeah period data oh no you know when i'm ovulating yeah that's like who cares that that shit is so funny to me because people are like oh my gosh the government is like

taking our data off tiktok what the hell do they want to do with me take it i don't care i know i don't think anyone's really looking in on me like that at all you wouldn't find although you'd be surprised did you see that what i got my in my email i did that was crazy i feel like the avatar shit really is my ceiling like you're not gonna find much we shit. Did you see what I got in my email? I did. That was crazy. I feel like the avatar shit really is my ceiling. Like you're not going to find much weirder shit in my shit.

You know? Like they're selling my data? Okay. Like last Google search was the moon landing real. Like take the phone away. Do you guys use a private browser or no?

Do I what? I use a private browser. Yes. Only for you? Yeah. But only because Only for Only because of porn. like i never like if she

ever opened my phone and like oh i'd kill myself i wouldn't even be born just the idea of you being like damn she was just watching porn weirds me out she was jacking it yeah i'm like i would be so unfazed at this point oh you were just you guys say jack off. Oh, you were just whacking it. That too. Yeah, it's all bad. We're just DJing. I can't believe this is my first time going on tour without Makoa. And now I have to whack it like the rest of y'all.

We're just whacking it on the bus? No, no, I have to. We don't have a private bedroom. Yeah, we don't have doors. No, in the room? No, Brooke, you would literally be like, I'll see you guys tomorrow. I'm going to go whack it. Oh, yeah, in the rooms for sure that's what i'm saying that's why i'm one chance i'm like this my time to shine one time i postmated a um vibrator and the woman who delivered it was a traditional amish lady erin i think she was amish she was a traditional

something maybe she was like southern bapt Southern Baptist or Lutheran or something. Yeah. One of those. Yeah. No, she was like, she was dressed in like traditional attire. Like she had robes. Yeah. Did you try to put her on?

I'd be like, y'all got this shit over there? No, but I was so humiliated. And it was like, I had, I'm pretty sure I had medication. So I had to like sign for something. I couldn't just have her leave it at my door. It was humiliating. Dayquil and, or like Sudafed and a vibrator is a crazy snack snack yeah a red bull and a vibrator we probably like should be done like we have so much else to do it's like crazy

but and all my other topics like i seriously was gonna just ask y'all if you think the moon landing was real so i feel like we should go over to Patreon. We're going to review some VMAs outfits. And I'm so excited to do it over there because on the podcast, sometimes we have to tell some fibs. Well, not fibs, but I have to withhold some of my opinions. Dilute a little. For fear of being. With reviewing fashion in the past, I've gotten in trouble where it's like,

here I am in my pickleball crew neck saying a well-loved celebrity looks like shit on a carpet i could never attend but on the patreon it feels like a little more of a safe space to give my honest opinion i for sure agree with that and i also do want to talk to you guys about what's going on with my anatomy but i need to use graphic words and tell you how i broke it. So that's it. Woo-hoo. All right. They're killing babies in the street.

They're eating dogs and cats in Springfield. They're doing transgender surgery on illegal aliens. Phantom limbs. They're aborting two-year-old children. 2024 is fucking weird, dude. Yeah. Weird as all get out. Is it only going to get worse and more dystopian and

weird for sure as we age you know what i was thinking sorry we're off topic no i want to know just imagine like i wish so bad they was like driving down the street in la and you do ever watch movies like old times in la and it's like you see the streets that we go on every day i would love nothing more than like to be able to press the button and fast forward 30 years on the streets that we're driving right now and see what's there what's gone what it looks like what cars are on the road i've never had that thought about going forward i like romanticize like do you think they predicted a cyber truck even 10 years ago that'll i saw a fucking tweet the other day that was like i was trying to explain to someone the other day why i have such a disdain

for cyber trucks i'm sure you guys do as well ugliest but i saw a tweet that just said i want to see all burning man attendees in a venn diagram with all cyber truck owners and see the crossover and i realized that that like perfectly explains how i feel the circles would just overlap yeah that's just one circle yeah it's just a circle it's literally a circle and that's and it just that's how i feel about cyber trucks which sucks they're kind of cool. They're bulletproof and shit. The only person who can do it is Trisha Paytas. Did she get a Cybertruck? I think she wanted one.

Or like Paris Hilton and it's holographic. I would eat that up. Or like Jojo Siwa and there's just a ponytail on the back. Bye, guys. Just a bow. We love you. Bye, guys. Love you.

Thank you for having me back. Hey! bye guys love you thank you for having me back hey