Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 97: Tana gets emotional about her relationship struggles… - Ep.98

Episode Date: October 2, 2024

Order a sampler at https://Davidprotein.com/CANCELLED Coming to you from the Met Theater in Philadelphia. On this episode we reflect on past tour mishaps. Tana shares personal struggles with energy and mental health and relationship.  We touch on lighthearted topics like unusual bathroom habits, audience participation chaos, and a wild fan revenge story.  Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A Produced by: https://instagram.com/oscaralva

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. This is kind of weird, like, because like in an hour, these chairs are going to be facing that way and we're going to be saying it again. Yeah. Do you guys like our new set? We are in Philadelphia. Philadelphia at The Met, which is our favorite venue ever. We're in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

I always think Philadelphia is a state. Doesn't just objectively. Honestly yes. If you were a Victorian child and someone was like Philadelphia you'd be like you should name it that. That's a state. Yes I do agree with that but did you learn the state song? No I never learned the state song. I'll teach it to you on the bus. Thank you. I'm honestly excited for that. That can be our

high activity tonight. But we are at the Met Theater. We have the Met Gala at home. This is the closest I'll ever be to the Met here in Philly. And we have a show tonight and we're so fucking excited. And I really hope you guys enjoy this episode, quite frankly, because it was $6,000. Yeah, they made us pay. Apparently, it's like a thing.

Like they have union rules, right? And to me, the union just feels like the cloud, right? Like I'm like, you and have union rules right and i to me the union just feels like the cloud right like i'm like you and what union right like well no i mean there is definitely definitely a union but i do learn so much about like show business on the road like like dark stage no one can set their feet on the stage for certain hours because the union says no no because union needs like times out like breaks but that's like any union it's like you have to be treated fairly as a worker yes but like paying the union to have to like use the stage for i guess it's commercial use i guess we should join a union are you in sag

no i'm not in sag well you you've met probably all the qualifications to be in sag you probably just have to apply oh i guess yeah it's like acting and like anything that doesn't make sense. But you know what? To circle back to this episode being $6,000. Do you know what I find really funny? What? Is that all of the most expensive episodes of Canceled have like tanked. Like the Hawaii episode was like $6,000.

Granted, I don't know where I got off just titling that the Hawaii episodei episode like bold of you to just assume people would click that like well it looked so gorgeous but i that we could have had like a clickbait moment there you know i could have put in more work to get people to watch it but got bit by a shark obviously flying air in here and shit like every just our most expensive episodes always fucking tank. And then it's the ones where we're in like last night's pajamas hung over. Like, you know what I mean? Nothing. No theatrics, no production. I'm personally grateful for all our episodes and I don't even care how many views they get.

That's very fair. I didn't. Oh my God. You really backed me into a corner there. Like, what the fuck am I going to say to that? I don't give a fuck. But you know what I mean? Just obviously, like, when you put money into production, you hope it, you know, pays off.

ROI. Yes, exactly. But I mean, regardless, I'm excited to film. We filmed an episode the other day in New York City in our favorite studio. What's the name of the company? Melrose Podcast. Melrose Podcast. Which is ironic because it's not on Melrose.

It is in New York. The original one was on Melrose. I've used them in LA before, but then they've expanded to New York and I think Austin. But we went in the other day to film and I, I've never done that in the history of canceled that bad. I've definitely come in to shoot canceled in like a fucking mood. You know what I mean?

Or like I'm sad or whatever. We were talking about it kind of in the episode because I was just so depressed. So not okay. Like it was bad. It was like someone get this girl a jacket and award, you know? Yeah. But it is hard, obviously, every single week expecting yourself to show up in the same mood, especially when we shoot sporadically.

It's not like we shoot every... Yeah, and especially when you have multiple personality disorder. Yeah, me... You know, the other day, Makoa Ho called me. And he goes... He's like, I miss you miss you so much like i miss every version of you i miss drunk you i miss which this was really nice of him to say even this is out of our friendships character but he's like i miss drunk you i miss tired you like i miss funny you i miss he's naming all these versions of me and he goes i really miss the whole squad like referred to like all of my personalities as the whole squad by the way i

wasn't saying you had multiple personality disorder i just want to clear that up i don't think i do but i know that my father did so it's really it's looming and who knows these days i feel like fawn had some of that i definitely notice more things about my brain patterns as i when i'm sober obviously duh i'm sober, obviously. Duh. I'm sober again, by the way, you guys. We don't have to make this a whole, the whole shebang, but your girl is tired. And as you guys know, I've been wanting to be sober for a while now, but I just like

for the first time, I really like couldn't just do it like that. Like I kept just like having a beer a day and like was like, yeah, but second you were like okay about it like you weren't like getting hammered it was just like a couple nights that we were like really really partying I think I was moderate like I think I I was moderate about it but it's still like if you have to have one beer a day like if you feel like you need that fucking beer there's still a deeper thing that's still a little bit of alcoholism yes so I finally was able to just flip a switch and it feels good but it's funny because I notice when I'm sober I just have so many more like impulsive thoughts like I don't know how to explain I was thinking about this last night on stage you and I are mid-show and i'm sitting there and i was thinking like right now like i could just start screaming at the top of my lungs like i could just like i

could i could take a shit like right now all the time like intrusive thoughts i always think like what if i just started like like burst out into song in the middle of the show like i want to know how you would have to react i think i would love it i think you know me i love a moment to like because i might i love a moment to like riff the other day Brooke ran off stage because she had to pee and I literally just started rapping Hefner like it was 2017 again and like it was fun I had fun with the crowd they were enjoying it but yeah my intrusive thoughts are just so much worse when I was over I don't know where I don't multiple personalities got me there I don't know how I got there I don't know either but I'm happy thousand bucks for this I'm happy for you we're gonna have a good time we are gonna have a good time and also the other day that another reason we had to

scrap that episode because not only was I just the most sad sack bitch alive like I really was just like I think I was just tired as well like I think that when we have off days right but the only off days we've had were in Springfield, Massachusetts and New York City. And Springfield is Paige's hometown. So all of her hometown friends are there. The hotel's attached to a casino. We're having a great fucking night. It was just super fun.

And then the next set of off days are in New York City. And all of our best friends are there. And normally I appreciate when the off days are in Kentucky. And there is nothing to do and no one is there and no one wants to celebrate and no one wants to have fun right because then it's just like a joint and bed and rest but then we went to shoot the podcast and I was like oh I haven't slept in a week like yeah it was pretty tough I was in great spirits honestly I would have really delivered no you devoured I honestly I'm gonna figure out how to cut up like your

segments and put them on like patreon because I'm sorry only because it happens way more often to me than it does to you where i come into an episode and i'm like not very happy mostly because i'm just generally not very happy but um i was so excited i had such a good mood on me and then and that's the thing as well it's trying to get the both of us in like the same riffing mood is just obviously it can be tricky but then not only that all of our topics were like diddy like that girl what's her name who the 14 year old who just shot her mom yeah i don't know and like a lot of like really dark topics that honestly you don't come to the canceled podcast to listen to yeah and i think that it's one thing to talk about them when you're in a mood but if you're already just like sad and then you're talking about like how awful things

are happening in the world like it was just like i couldn't put it out i was like oh my god like this i do think we should circle back to that little girl who drove her car to starbucks though yeah i think we could talk about all of those topics today just the combo of the two was really scary speaking of topics that we shouldn't talk about, politics. I want to say something because obviously I read the comments on the last episode. Canceled has always been a place where I feel like we discuss what is on our For You pages

and what's getting memed and what's happening in the world, right? And I think that I've said this a lot about the presidential election, but sometimes with the topics at hand and the things that are happening, it can feel like a reality television show. And these sounds are being made. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats.

Yeah, and it's pretty unserious in a lot of ways. Well, it is very serious. But the internet can make it. Is making it unserious. Yes. Like even just her fucking her earring. Like that was a crazy thing to just like think about. Like someone, whatever, the Bluetooth earring, yada yada.

But I do just want to clarify that I have always said this since the dawn of time. I never want to be your factual, credible news source. And I don't want to be any part of that problem of like spreading misinformation. Like you guys should take the time to do your own research. And then obviously please do go vote i think that i was just kind of honing in on like the meme culture that has become of the what's it called not the election the debate and that's exactly why i need to shut the fuck up so no more of that around here i had to talk about eating the cats and dogs like it was just too good but even that it's like people like that's in springfield oh Ohio y'all don't even know which Springfield it's in like I do understand all of

the people saying to shut the fuck up about that and listen heard you loud and clear coming back every week shooting my shot swinging sometimes I'm missing sometimes I'm hitting I hear y'all okay I'm pretty much only missing honestly there's that um seriously though do your research make an educated decision go and vote for what you believe in and please god i hope that no one out there is like canceled podcast is my only news source and we will be more mindful than even if everything is being memed like you know obviously that like donald trump being put to that peanut song like i just it it's my whole timeline but i do understand that even though it's being mean like i'm not trying to like perpetuate that culture i don't fucking know i'll shut up we heard you okay we heard you that was my point

do you know what's been just stirring my soup keeping me awake at night okay what is it it's totally not the insomnia from going sober and just this is the only thing that's keeping me the fuck awake at night and i just want to before i even get into this like the two people i'm about to talk about i love you more than life okay i love them so much but i get a text the other day from a Aguirre oh no where he says I just met I can't even say it like my voice like it's like actually can't come out of me he said I just met Adam Sandler him and Suede Brooks are sitting on the side of the fucking road in New York City they're eating their meal and Adam Sandler walks by in his basketball shorts and they have a quick combo with him. They then text me about it.

They send me a voice memo detailing the interaction. I have so many thoughts. I really don't even know where to begin. Okay. I'm personally a conspiracy. I think it's a conspiracy. I think it was an attempt to upset you. I don't doubt that they saw him because I, you know, it's likely that they saw him, but it's

like, what are the odds Adam Sandler is stopping to have a conversation with Ari Aguirre? You know how, I've thought about this so hard. You know how New York cafes are set up and they have tables by the doorway. Maybe he went in to pick up an order and as he was walking out of the doorway,

they're sitting at the table adjacent to the doorway and somehow that has started a conversation while he's maybe waiting for a car. But what's the conversation? What could Ari say to whip up a conversation? Don't you feel like Ari is so like, hey Adam, like coat and so is suede and then them together like,

it's just like, I don't want to doubt them but I think it could have easily been pushed because like I've personally done this as an embellisher myself like if I see someone in public I'm like obviously I met them and I talked to them I'll never forget one time do we talk about this on the pod no we didn't we talked about this on the patreon um Brooke and I were in like a massive fight like jorts gate level fucking blow a Big summer blowout. Fight. And so just imagine, obviously we're mad at each other, whatever. And like a day goes by and we still haven't talked since our fight.

And I open up my Instagram. And on your Instagram story is Adam Sandler like 50 feet away from you. And obviously in a probable world, had we not been fighting, we probably would have been together. And I just remember, I didn't sleep. Like I was shaking in bed. Like I couldn't he was and shout out Frankie Jonas honestly because we do love if it weren't for Frankie I would not have been able to get anywhere near Adam but he was in the little celebrity box at the Jonas Brothers concert

and I did say I said hey Adam and he said hey that was the whole conversation I'm still I mean again I would be just fully nothing but happy for you actually no fuck that I'm not happy for anyone that meets Adam Sandler that isn't me and I'm just gonna fucking say it but here's what I will say in your heart I know it's just jealousy like I'm just so fucking jealous like genuinely I'm so fucking jealous here's what I will say though I've been having people come up to me um at the meet and greets and they've been quoting me saying like you were the epicenter of my world like all the the Walt Disney shit everything I said about Adam and I could understand now I think you know

with the roles reversed not that I'm creeped out by people saying that but more so that obviously Adam and I have different me saying Adam like I know him, we have different personalities. Like I could understand how I'm just really creepy to him and I just want to clarify it's, you know, it's nothing like that. Even the other day someone told me where he was shooting Happy Gilmore in New Jersey and it was like 45 minutes from where we were and I didn't go there because I felt like

that's not what I should do. I don't want to hunt him down. Do you know? But I want to, You go, actually. Sorry. I had a fan come up to me on the street the other day and she goes,

this is so crazy. I just ran into both Adam Sandler's daughters. And I go, where are they? Because imagine we befriend them. But then, like, there's just too...

Like, this, there's too much evidence. Yeah, you're right. Visual footprint. We always fuck ourselves up like that. For sure. And it's... Again, we're just so just so close like i keep seeing these comedians adjacent to adam sandler text you or text just i i just feel so anyways it's gonna happen it's gonna happen manifestation is real

literally everything that we've ever spoken out into the universe we've gotten this is what i'm just gonna say except for a boyfriend is for like like ari for example it's like i told him that it was the equivalent of like if someone gifted me a crocodile birkin right like he loves luxury things and like you know there would be buffalo sauce inside of my crocodile birkin within a couple weeks and ari would be genuinely disheartened that i was given this and he wasn't right yeah I like same with like what a suede love like uh diamonds and privates yeah I can understand that there are opportunities where suede could see me in them and be like like I might deserve that more than Tana right and I just feel like this is

one of those situations where it's like that is why I can't feel happy for them because I it's okay to be happy for somebody and also jealous like that's how I feel about a lot of people's careers that I look at I'm like god I want that career so bad but I'm like also happy for them and see I feel you with that I don't know there's just this weird disconnect and maybe I'm just fucking weird maybe I'm just no you're gonna meet him it's going to be way more intimate and amazing than that experience. And you're going to be so grateful that that wasn't your first experience with Adam Sandler.

I'm so confident about it. That's not even funny. I'm going to do a sweet 16 surprise for you for your 26th, but also maybe I never need to meet him. Like maybe it's nice to always have something. Did you say how old are you? You're 26. Yeah.

You're 28. Yeah. You're 28? 27? 27. 27. Like that's a dream age for sure. Because that means you like made it out of the 27 club. Like you're, you know. No, I still got two more months.

I think you'll do it. I could croak at any second. What was I going to say? Oh, I guess just my entire point was like maybe i do never need to meet him so i always have something like right i like for some people to remain like actual magical celebrities like i feel that way about like miley cyrus i never want to be even in the same room as miley cyrus because i've actually idolized her for so like she's my one person that like that's it's almost like god like maybe that's why people love god so much because they're like i can't meet like that's how i feel about it no people meet god all the time

that's actually true i've hit some wax pens and definitely taken some mushrooms that got me there wait you know what i was thinking about my my thought of miley cyrus reminded me of this i don't know why i was laying in bed last night and remembering my grandma used to take me to barnes and noble like literally every day it was my favorite store ever and she would read a whole book and i would go through every single j14 magazine frequently dropped me off at Barnes and Noble it's the best place in the world to go like free because you can get lost in there so I would read every single magazine and I was remembering like why was there so much evidence like or like there's so many articles, Justin Bieber,

not Justin Bieber, Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, like all about how they were saving themselves for marriage, like how they weren't going to have sex until marriage in like these children's. No, remember the purity ring? I like,

I remember, this is crazy when I think about this now, actually, I remember wanting a purity ring so bad. I had one because I'm like, I'm saving myself for Nick Jonas. Oh my, and when Nick Jonas got diabetes, I thought it was. No, I'm not kidding.

I held like a vigil. It was like, I was so distraught. I thought I needed my own pocket insulin just in case I ran into him. I'm so worried about him. I saw him at the Jonas Brothers concert and I was like, I was literally checking on him. Like, do you think his blood sugar is high? Oh my God. It was really, I was literally checking on him. Like, do you think his blood sugar is high? Oh my God. It was really,

it's so funny though. That is so like the purity ring of it all. I remember that. I just like, I can't imagine somebody being like somebody, a teenager, they were like 14 being asked about that in an interview. Now that would be so inappropriate.

Like, Hey, so are you going to have sex before you're married? That's every interview of every 2000 that long ago you know what i mean like i understand like how horrible we were to like britney and like do you know that uh episode of howard stern where anna nicole smith is there and he's like how much do i how much do i step on the scale of course but like who's that guy who was like leave her alone leave her alone she doesn't want to leave britney I love him it was so sweet even the Olsen twins

do you know that they had like big news publications big we were just talking about the Olsen twins that's why it reminded me of this but like giant news publications were doing countdowns

until they turned 18 like on their 18th birthday and shit like it was like actually terrifying and like asking them all about that before that was like

literally up until this generation of social media stars and child stars that was like literally up until this generation of social media stars and child stars that was a thing like the demi lovato's of the world dealt with that i guess it wasn't yeah it wasn't that uh crazy because like even i just saw a clip of kourtney kardashian talking about like justin bieber saying like yeah i just did a whole shoot the bahamas with justin bieber and they're like how old is he she's like 16 I'm like oh shit um oh okay but and like yeah Courtney's the one who has even with all this ditty stuff I'm seeing a lot of stuff like and as a believer I've been like on the edge of my seat waiting for this to really

like come to the public light because I really thought when he released like Lonely like that song those lyrics that, his performances of that, several other songs, but that one like specifically that it, and like the Yummy video, all of the Easter eggs in that, how it like people say that it's a play on Hollywood kind of feasting on young people, whatever. I thought it would all come to light then. And like it didn't. And now it's all finally coming to light.

Like how horrible Justinin bieber was treated yeah by every celebrity too like just the sexualization of him by like women celebrity just everything it's it's fucking nuts like yeah he had it tough but i'm glad he's doing better the baby was born yeah i feel like he and he'll do everything in his power i think to protect that kid from everything he went through which i think is in turn a beautiful thing and all you can do with trauma but yeah i remember how protective he was over billy he would like cry over it that's so sweet because he probably saw someone so much of himself and his rise to fame in her and just i can't imagine how emotional that is i would say even i like genuinely feel a protective attachment to like these younger

tiktok stars who are like you raised me and like whatever feel a protective attachment to like these younger TikTok stars who are like you raised me and like whatever you know like it's like I hope they don't have to go through like shit I went through yeah I hope it's ever changing and that's just like one one thousandth of obviously I think we're headed in the right direction at least yeah I want to talk about the diddy shit but I feel like everyone's just kind of beating it into the ground it is fucking nuts it's so crazy I just like i don't know it's just it's hard like i'm like sarah jessica parker is in the photos like i'm like i don't know if i understand what is going on here that i i was saying this when we shot but i genuinely do

think this is going to take down like a fourth of hollywood like i think everyone was involved everyone knew something kat williams has said it forever like charlamagne has said it forever like of don't go to diddy parties like it's all been that's what's crazy is there's never been a case like this i was just watching diddy on a talk show in like 2005 where he's telling the talk show host i don't remember who it was but he's telling the talk show host like yeah i put locks on all the outside of my doors at my parties and And I make my parties really hot so that people get more, the girls get more drunk and they stay. And, like, you ought to go. Like, it's, like, the definition of hiding in plain sight. And that, like, the power trip of it all.

Yeah, but maybe it goes along with what we were just saying. Where it's, like, things, like, that were, like, okay then. Not okay, but, like, it's way, a way different different culture now and like we are way more cognizant of things like that now whereas before it was like people didn't care as much got away with saying a lot more but i think that and obviously as well like maybe with like rap culture a lot of the things he would just say about like having sex with women and stuff like that obviously people are just like well he's like being a rapper and fucking bitches. Right. But it's so not, and the charges are so not,

and it's, it's just fucking nuts. And so many people have been saying it. It's crazy. I keep seeing everyone talk about the thousand bottles of baby oil. Right. And obviously I think all of that shit is insane. Like having thousands of IV bags because all the people participating in your freak-offs

are going to be days of dehydration. And they seized so many drugs. So it's like you're flying in all of these sex workers across state lines, across all these things, feeding them drugs, making them do things that they don't want to do with your power. And this is all like confirmed. This is all in the indictment.

And then they seize your house and find like thousands of sex toys thousands of bottles of baby oil doubt like thousands of iv like that doesn't look good and it's all on tape and like those tapes were being used as like a power play like he was saying like to every celebrity like oh you're not gonna fucking expose me i have this video of you doing x y and z but then now that's what's fucking him obviously that's what's gonna put him in jail for life is the fact that he recorded all of it, you know? But that's so crazy.

I saw something where he was like refusing to eat jail food because he's afraid someone's going to poison him. But I'm like, if you're not guilty, you're not afraid of someone poisoning you. Like someone's only going to poison you to protect themselves. You know what I mean? From getting, you know, exposed or whatever it is. But like, like you said, it was like literally hidden in plain sight like eminem says like the day diddy admits that he put out the hit that got

pop killed and the like what's the the other eminem lyric where he's like he spells rapper without like the other p and then he says like p diddy and like all this stuff and like it's a little nuts i mean it's it's all been in like fucking plain sight and to deny a 50 million dollar bail like he he put it up he said here's my 48 million dollar house here's my two million dollar house i didn't know they could do that i like yeah because if they think you're gonna tamper with evidence or you're just a societal harm then i feel like you shouldn't they have just not set bail i guess you. You know, I just recently understood bail. Like, you know that when you get that money back

after you go to court? If you're not guilty. After it goes to trial or whatever. Or if you're guilty. Here we go again. Listen. I don't know. Yeah.

You know what? One Google search away. Open that new tab and educate yourself i always used to think like it was so crazy that people were able to put up like a million dollar bail but then someone told me that yeah like once it goes to court like you get that back or like once there's a verdict you get it back that's interesting i didn't know i didn't know that either and it's honestly probably not true but back to the baby oil now there's all these conspiracy theories because have you ever seen ghb yeah have you

ever done ghb not on purpose very fair i only know about it because of that la promoter who got in trouble for it do you remember that and it was like a whole thing there were like text threads like saying like yeah we gave them like g or whatever they were calling it and then the girl died in her sleep a lot of people yeah because you can't mix it with alcohol and ironically it's the roofie drug they literally gave it to her, left her at home. And then it was like a promoter that we used to see out all the time. And now he's just roaming the streets running free. It is so common and sad.

It's crazy how many parties I've gone to or artists I know or people who do it recreationally or people who choose to do it and pass it out aren't even roofing people essentially right it's like it is roofing yeah um but it's it's like an oil essentially right so you can just like trip trip so people are saying was it was he raiding the diaper aisle or were those filled with ghb like i mean i guess that's an easy check for the government anyway like yeah i guess that's true i don't know i'm done i i really am just like yeah maybe we get to a more hootie topic than p diddy i guess it's just it is fucking nuts like it's it's horrible and i hope that he

honestly goes away forever i hope to god that nobody kills him in prison because i feel like that is a bummer i want him to suffer for his whole life yeah that's there's just so many victims and watching all the victims come forward it's it's just like so fucking sad and it's crazy and i hope i really do hope that this maybe sets a precedent for a change in the power dynamic in hollywood like i agree do you think he got like super terrified when that R. Kelly shit dropped? No. And that's the sad thing.

I think he was probably so still tripped up on power that he was like you know what I mean? I don't know. Ew. I was going to segue into a lighter note

of the news and talk about that. Was it an eight year old girl who drove how many miles? What has that ever written down? I don't know. I think it was like

a long way. An eight year old girl drove 30 minutes to a target from her house. miles what has ever written down i don't know i think it was like a long way an eight-year-old girl drove 30 minutes to a target from her house she stole her parents car and drove 30 minutes to target to just get a frappuccino and then she spent 400 and like they found her right that is so insane i think it's so it is until like someone gets killed on the road and there was an eight-year-old behind the wheel and not to make it so dark because like immediate retraction immediate apology funny it is funny the thing is is obviously which order to drive though because like that's not a thing

you can't just like get in the car and like guess if you put me in a car one minute from my house and said drive back to your house. I could not do it. Obviously, I don't drive, but obviously, neither does she. I'm so directionally challenged. I can't believe she made it to a Target 30 minutes away by memory. Maybe she does. Amari! Maybe she had one of those toys.

Hey! Amari, hi. Amari, can you believe? I didn't even know you were in New York. That's how crazy. Is that not insane? Hi, my little chickadee, my little brat summer chickadee. It's going good.

We're talking about the eight-year-old who drove 30 minutes away from her house. She stole her parents' car and drove to a Target. Dude, and okay, so then, again, then she spends 400 bucks. I would pay 400 bucks for a TikTokiktok haul to come give it to us i just we so she she had intent you know what i mean like that means she just like she really had a vision it was premeditated because she brought the card she took the car she's eight i'm trying to think what i was doing at eight diva what frappuccino like Like, I just... And just imagine if it was double chocolate chip. Imagine you're just, like, shopping and you see an eight-year-old just all by herself,

frappuccino, like, cart in hand. What do eight-year-olds even like? Like, I guess makeup and skincare. Well, now they like, like, fucking Drunk Elephant. Like, I liked, like, Limited Too. But, like, slime and shit still. I'm trying to think about what Kiki likes. No, they're like...

Kiki doesn't like slime. Kiki likes slime. Kiki's my goddaughter, you guys. I like kiki doesn't like slime kiki likes slime kiki's my goddaughter you guys i'm so wholesome you think kiki likes slime kiki likes slime kiki likes olivia rodrigo i'm thinking about my niece but she's 12 and even if she took the car like everyone would be dead me but now kiki likes apple pay so that's great she's definitely growing up like i i missed the christmases and days when it was like wait you want to hear something funny i'm talking to this guy and i made him make a tiktok account because he doesn't have a tiktok account but i wanted to send him tiktoks okay you just say you're talking to this guy y'all my bitch is booed up okay i'm booed up and i'm and it happened so it didn't happen so fast

actually it happened at like a normal amount of time and i'm really happy i think he's a great guy so i'm fucking stoked the nicest guy probably i've ever talked to and i'm obsessed with him but he doesn't have a tiktok okay and that wasn't gonna fly with me because there's so many times in a day like i don't want to text someone a million TikToks that's what I do that's embarrassing he doesn't have a TikTok see I that's that to me is embarrassing so I'm like please make a TikTok account and he made one and it's like his name is like jake4565 like it's like a random username okay like no trace of him whatsoever the other day he gets a follower and he's like, how the fuck did I get a follower? And it's my 12 year old niece.

And I go, do you think it just showed up? Like Brooke Schofield follows or like, maybe doesn't it like recommend people? Okay. My following is also hidden on Tik TOK. Like you can't go to my following and it's not like people you may know. Cause it's not like she has his phone number.

So it's like, how did she find? He has zero videos, no photo. His name is like nothing but numbers and she's better than the sleuths she is but i'm like what are the odds of that that is really crazy i'm like cassidy how did you find him she's so funny wait that that is so funny i but i swear these this generation of kids is like tech technologically smarter than we are like it's oh my, I met this little girl the other night. I think I told you about her,

but she was with the family that was sitting next to me at that restaurant. This is from our scrapped episode, guys. I am not exaggerating. She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Me and Bebe were staring at her. It was creepy. We were like, holy shit,

because her eyelashes were black and so long. And she had like yellow, like actually yellow eyes. It was like the most unique girl I've ever seen. And so finally after staring at her forever, I told like turned her family and I was like, she is literally the most beautiful girl ever. And they're like,

thank you. Blah, blah, blah. And then, um, please tell what the part of this story that made me sob uncontrollably. No,

it was so cute. So we're like on the side of the story that made me sob uncontrollably. No, it was so cute. So we're like on the side of the street because we're in New York. So like obviously people are passing by and stuff. And like a lot of people were coming up to me like saying hi, whatever. And at a certain point she turns to me and she's like, hi, like I'm blind. So she like grabbed my hand. She's like, I'm blind. The mom.

The mom. Okay. The mom. And she was like, I just want you to know like that says so much about your character that people are willing to come up to you. And like, you know, like you have such a special energy for people to feel so comfortable, yada, yada. And she like literally made me cry. But then as soon as we stopped talking, I thought to myself, like, oh my God, like she doesn't even know how she doesn't know what her daughter even looks like. And that is the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen in my

entire life it made me so sad I don't know why I know why and it's like you know she probably hears it all day long like because it's like there's no way these people people aren't stopping this girl on the street she like doesn't even look human and like she probably just has to guess but they were such a sweet family and they kept talking to us and like told us so many things if this is like an og blindness or like uh well what do you mean i'm like how recently like i can't you can't say that no well also she was politically correct way to ask no there's not is there there wasn't but like is she i mean she was looking right at me and she took my hand and like and you could see that she was blind because like you could tell but she also like was beautiful her makeup was done she had like a perfect wing i'm

like how'd you do that but she was like i can't see you but like i can tell you have such a good energy like she was so sweet but it just made me so sad to think that like she literally cannot see her daughter i always like i really always wonder and think that with blind people like you know what i mean like did they become blind so then they can have like visions in their imagination of what things look like or being born blind is crazy because it's like truly nothing I think I would truly well I don't know would you rather be born blind or or become blind become blind yeah but then it's like do you mourn like what you used to see for sure but like having ever seen it that's like a privilege i guess i just think i don't know i might not want to know what's going on out there that says everything about

you and i though well i would just be so sad well i guess you can imagine though at least you could they could be like oh this is a theater and so i could be like i you know i would know what that looks like yeah or like this is a brunette. Oh yeah. Someone said being born blind is like seeing out of your elbow. Paige said that the other day. We'll have to fact check that one. Do you know when it happened to me the other day? What?

I was at Kith in New York and I ran into a girl and she was like, oh my God, it's so nice to meet you. And she was like, I wish I had tickets to the show tonight, but like i couldn't get them or something so i was like oh like do you want to come like i'll put you on the list she's like oh for sure like i put her on the list with her friend whatever and i sent it i sent it to whoever needed to see it i said like can you get them tickets for tonight's show right tell me why i come off stage and they are sitting side stage like these two girls are sitting side stage like someone gave them like someone gave them all access like complete were they in our green room before the show they know but they will we left in our green room after the show no because I ran into them on the way to our green room but I literally saw them and I was like um you know I don't give a fuck right like I'm I'm down like two girls bring way to our green room, but I literally saw them, and I was like, um, hi. You know I don't give a fuck, right?

Like, I'm down. Like, two girls, bring them to the green room, who gives a fuck? But I'm thinking about all of the other characters and people who were there, and like, obviously other people are more secretive with their online presences and the things that they choose to share.

Like, we share everything. Some people, like, don't share getting hammered. No, they didn't come up with us, because obviously we had to get in the elevators and stuff, so I just left them side stage, but was i went around and i was like who gave them all access that's iconic though like they'll tell that story for the rest of their lives i know and bless her their heart like it's not like she wasn't like a weirdo that happened to us for like yeah like you accidentally got all access but like like that's that's it is so it is hilarious

that just what happened to us apparently someone snuck in never mind let me just actually not give anyone any ideas i made a tiktok the other night it's funny because we talk about this a lot like when you go into touring you learn a lot like it's not like someone gives you a handbook you learn from all the other people like obviously our tour manager our merch girls like every our security like everyone else who's here with us kind of does this for a living right like our tour manager after this is going to join Sabrina Carpenter like he just hops from tour to tour like and he has for like 15 years so obviously you just kind of learn all the lore from people so but after a while of touring you forget that this type of shit isn't just like that you haven't always known it I guess that it isn't

common knowledge and I made a TikTok the other night all of this is a champagne problem by the way i if you told me with the dirty door that i was ever touring a bitch would pass out and need fucking cpr okay like i'm just saying i'm just discussing my current environment okay i made a fucking typical tana tiktok where i was talking about how hard it is every night to get out of the bed. And then while the bus is moving, be like subway surfer and like go all the way to the bathroom. And then in the middle of your sleep, you have to obviously remember you cannot flush your pissy wads of toilet paper. Yeah, and that's how it always happens. Or you will clog the toilet.

Again, I'm still, still working through these Tana clog the toilet allegations it was never me but i digress um and i make this tiktok and then people started asking me all these other questions they were like what if you have to shit and i realized that hot bagging is one of the many things that i learned about in the touring world i just learned about something else that you were actually asleep for that i'm going to tell you about um after this but hot bagging is okay so obviously if you you can't shit in the toilet like there is like a colander strainer think like you are rinsing iceberg lettuce in the sink but like mini in the toilet okay like it is just for your pee pee and so if you have to shit you have two options okay one of which is you walk up to the bus driver okay who's driving the bus and you tell him hey sir i have to poo poo can we take

a stop and then that's up to you i guess if you wanted to side of the road it but if you're on a highway obviously you can't side of the road it like if you're in the middle of the forest you could theoretically find a good bush or go to a gas station in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night often a lot of crackies in these random places also just you don't now we know our bus driver so well but that is because we've spent the entire year with him and we have just now gotten to know him in like, as more than just our bus driver in the past couple of months. For a long time, it is just a stranger.

And like, you have to go up there. We had a different bus driver. I had to do this once. And I had to go up there to this man that I have never met and be like, I'm shitting water. No. And right.

And so then all of that being said, if you cannot make it to the bathroom you have to do something in the touring world that is called hot bagging where you put a bag into the toilet you shit in the bag and then you carry your hot bag away like a school lunch and why do you put it though bagging like why couldn't it be like why did that have to end up but where do you put it because it's like then is it that's that's just like until you can get to the nearest restaurant probably or it's like you put it in your bunk and you probably like i could see like a boy band maybe throwing it in the trash can i've heard some stories like that but i think our our girly pop tour would probably i think i would stop and throw it away the bus yeah do you

know that one time i had to tell richard to pull over because i was gonna throw up okay i was gonna throw up and we were in the middle of the desert okay like literally not anything within 100 miles and so i get out i throw up and I get sprayed by a skunk. Sprayed by a skunk, I tell you. Dude, the next day after this, I was so scared to even look you in the eyes. And I get it. If that shit happened to me, I would be livid for 48 as well. He didn't like really get me, thank God.

Like, but it was petrifying. Like, have you ever been sprayed by a skunk? I've never seen a skunk what oh it's such like we see so many skunks in arizona it's like a thing you'd think you'd see them in vegas then i don't know i don't know there are some things like do you guys have sorrows what's that probably not like the pizza place oh close sorrows are like the traditional cactus like if you see a photo of a cactus it's like you know, you know, one, and then it has, like, the arms. But those literally almost exclusively grow in Arizona.

So, like, that's our cactus, and they're everywhere. And a saguaro takes, like, literally 100 years to grow this much. Oh, wow, no. So, not, like, not quite, right? But, like, saguaros that are, like, super tall, they can be, like, 30 feet tall. They're, like like 500 years old and so it's a federal crime to tamper with or remove or move a sorrow cactus i know about like that kind of stuff yeah but i don't know why i'm talking about that actually well i've never seen a skunk but i keep having nightmares where with skunks in them i had this

dream the other night where i was with me Fox and there were hella skunks. Really? But I've never seen a skunk. Oh, I had a bad nightmare the other night too. My dreams are just, I can't even get into them. Circling back to hot bagging. Oh, right. Sorry.

Do you know a new term that I just found out about the other night in the touring world? Oh, no. Waffle stomping. Okay, but that I've done before. Have you never done that in the shower? You've shit in the shower and then stomped it down the drain. No, but I have thrown up in the shower and stomped it down the drain. That's fine.

But I'm like so hungover or so sick. That's fair. Waffle stomping. But I knew exactly, like I heard the term waffle stomping and in my head I just knew exactly what that meant. That's what Makoa said to me but then I was saying it to other people and they were like obviously what the fuck are you talking about but Makoa knew for some reason actually I did shit in the shower once like actually

accidentally it was like like water? it was like one of those times I had like such bad food poisoning and I like wasn't even okay so I just had to like lay on the shower floor and then I was like oh I don't know why I'm sharing dude I like do the most disgusting shit ever. So like I have no room to judge.

I just, something about, especially just the fact that my tour manager knew about this because that means someone somewhere has deliberately walked into a tour bus shower and then waffle stomped their solid shit. I can't. Really rubbed me the wrong way. I can't wait till we can afford a bus

with a shitting bathroom. A fucking shitting toilet. We might not ever be able to because the other day, first of all, I saw this TikTok, BunnyXO, Bunny Roll, Jelly Roll's wife. They're on tour right now, so they were on the bus, right?

And she's having everyone do enemas for fun on the bus. Bunny, I love you so much. I seriously might buy your house. Bunny. do enemas for fun on the bus bunny i love you so much i seriously might buy your house but one and in a health and wellness way okay not in like a sick and twisted way but for pardon my french when i say this because i'm not the most healthy or well in what sick and twisted world are we all in the front of the bus shoving a saline enema up our ass? Obviously, do you know anything about enemas, Laura? I've never enemaed. It's essentially like it's like saline liquid that you like go upside down kind of and fill your bung with.

Bung? I'm sorry. I love bung. And then it makes everything else come out immediately. You have like two minutes after animating to like, wait, I want to try it. But then,

so in the tick tock, they were all doing it on the tour bus, then taking trash bags. Where are the community guidelines? it wasn't their clothes were on, like they were just talking about it, but then taking trash bags and then like willingly hot bagging, whatever they animat on the bus.

And then I was like, damn, if jelly rolls crew doesn't have a shitter bus we may never yeah we may never and also the only person i know who who has ever like confirmed with me that they had a shitting bus was brianna chicken fry and zach bryan but maybe they're just doing it and they're not supposed to no zach bryan bought his bus he owns a bus. But I'm still just saying, like, they make buses you can shit on?

Yeah. Like, we're sure? Well, yeah, there's a, I mean, that's the whole, the bathroom is intended to be functional, the same way our shower is supposed to work and not have a vacuum cleaner in it. It's so funny. You know what I was laughing about the other day with Paige?

What? Like that. Okay, obviously, yeah, our bus's shower doesn shower doesn't work actually if you press the shower light it opens the gate to the the gates crazy but it opens the sewage and then fills the whole bus with the smell of sewage we've actually made that mistake before shower light gate where we press the shower light button and then the entire i'll actually insert a video of all of us right after that happened we had to ride to the next city with our heads out the window like golden retrievers um but so we got this bus a while back right and i was just like give me a bus like i was just like whatever bus works right we get this bus and then eventually like i call my

managers and i'm like hey maybe next run like we would love like a one with a working shower right or a working shitter like a shitter yeah they're like okay we're gonna we're gonna put in work we're gonna make that happen right and we come back on this run of tour and we walk in and it is the same exact bus i do not mean make it not even not even like make him out it's literally like same artwork decor on the wall like it's the same exact bus so then that led me and page to having a whole conversation that that means like that was the last bus available like we like we like someone walked into that lot every single bus was gone and they were like well we'll take like we'll take the one with the vacuum in the shower like that's it was because tour buses there aren't like i mean it is like a nice tour bus though like i'm sure that there's like so i see some

people's tour buses and i'm like whoa really i don't know if i could sleep on that no i do you know what like upsets me is when i'm laying back in the bus and like our bus doesn't have wi-fi and then like we have cable tv but with no sound so like i watch gordon ramsey yelling and then i just fill in the blanks like i have to hear it in my head and i read the subtitles yeah that's good um and that's only when the cable wants to work like whatever and then I'll watch like on my for you page I'll get like Tate McRae or like Madison Beer's tour bus and they're like Madison Beer's tour bus has like you see has like star lights well Tate McRae is doing arenas sister no what I'm not and I'm not I know I'm like I'm we are nobody's Tate McRae I'm not, and I'm not, I know I'm like, I'm. We are nobody's tape, McCray.

I'm just saying, like, I just, I don't ever want to see their bus. No, like Madison Beer did a tour bus tour on her TikTok. And it was like. But it makes sense as well, though. Like she's such a pixie magic. But we can also, we could get some mood lighting. We could get some like strip lights. Yeah, but like the vacuum's not

leaving the shower you know never yeah but i think that says what it needs to say about us you know i like it i think i'm having fun another thing about tour that i think would be funny to talk about what is and obviously i'm taken and now i think so are you but um so this does not apply to us but watching the like sexual tensions of tour is really funny like obviously when you're like trapped on a bus like i don't mean to um throw page and j-rod under the bus no pun intended but like like i feel like if they only saw each other in like los angeles at parties with people and they deny this dynamic left, right, up, down and diagonal. OK, but the tension between that, I think that they're going to get married. I think they're literally going to get married.

And I think there's such a good match. Like, I just thought I wonder in like another world, like if you were like single, like, would you be fucking like the tm or like he is hot but i think he's taken like so am i everyone's watching everyone around you's like sexual standards become a little different than they would be at home is very fun as well i don't know i really was kind of like school though like You know how like at school, like your teachers are hot because you're at school or like different analogy, please. Like a person next to you on a plane,

like summer camp, like somebody next to you at summer camp, like who you might not, if you think is hottest, like at home is hotter because he's like one of very few to choose from. I used to be so fucking in love, obsessed with this guy that I was a church leader with. And he was a church leader as well.

And I used to always be like, damn, like if I just saw you at school, yeah, like it was like the fact that we were like leading God together, but he didn't want my ass. It's so funny that we both fell into that. You know that I was like, so I never, ever ever ever missed an FCA

meeting like fellowship of Christian athletes ever okay I would orchestrate them I was literally the first one there the last one to leave always you want to know why because the love of my life was in FCA and he wanted nothing to do with me, okay, but I would follow him anywhere. I was in love with him from 8th grade all the way to my senior year of high school. I get it though, like, no, 7th grade. I also think that like church for me, all the churches

that I went to as like a teen and a young adult, it was like obviously yes, like the God shit slayed. I love Mia Hill song. The God shit slayed. I love Mia Hill song the god shit slayed like i love me a hill song moment you know what i mean or like a spirit lead me where my trust is without borders come on okay but also like the sense of community and like people who love you i think when you come from like a not so loving home and then you have like a pastor who's like a father figure and like

loves you it's just fun like young life wildlife like oh so fun yeah i was a young life leader i did young life man man's camp i did work work crew at young life man's camp okay it was only grown men and i was on work crew it was obviously weird but what i was going what i was getting to with um this man who i've literally like stalked um from seventh grade, he is coming to our Arizona show with his wife. I haven't seen him in 12 years. I can't decide. That's crazy. You're crazy.

I can't decide if I want to approach because Brooke and I are so fucking lucky that two of our last shows are in our hometowns in Phoenix and Vegas. Back to back too. It's going to be interesting. They are also almost sold out and it's very like touching to me. I't know there's it's a different feeling you know what I mean to go back to a city that you once felt like you would never amount to anything in and then do a show for the people who created this life for you in that city it's it's just so beautiful obviously playing your hometown in any regard is the craziest blessing I like I literally have goosebumps thinking about it I can't even believe

I will probably uncontrollably scream sob on that stage because I've only ever done one other Vegas show. And well, actually, it was a good one. It was at Planet Hollywood. But anyways,

I know that you are the type of bitch to invite anyone who ever bullied you, anyone who ever doubted you, anyone who ever cheated on you, anyone who ever broke up, anyone who's ever done you wrong so you can be like, watch me do this shit right no i did that

one time this one i'm focusing on people who i actually care about um we did one phoenix show before you're gonna invite a couple like stuck up that like you wouldn't have kicked it with back in the day right a lot of people who reach out to me now and i'm sure you have this too who like literally didn't give a fuck about me before and now all of a sudden they're like I have to come to the show I'm like whatever like you can come but like I really just I'm more so like friends who I actually care about and like friends who have supported me and also like my family's coming my cousins are coming my dad is coming my brother's coming I can't decide how I want to approach my Vegas guest list because I have such different groups of friends and people out there well my dad's like I need a plus seven I'm like you can't have that it's even just like the other day I was

when I was home in Vegas last me and McCall went to visit Debra and Iraj right and Amari was out of town so it was like I was getting the full star only child treatment and I was just eating it up right and um we're just sitting talking shit with them and Iraj turns to me and he's like and our family group chat is named this by the way because it's this him asking this has gone so out of bounds and obviously like that's our father right so him be asking this let alone and just his demeanor who he is like he's so funny about it he asked us what is like why do y'all keep saying so that's the family group chat his name what is right and he he's just so perplexed by it because he's like when i grew up

that was a horrible word that you could never say and now you guys are calling like the dinner i just cooked for you you're calling my smoked ribs like yeah that is crazy i remember my mom used to say it when i was like a kid and i'd yeah and like yeah my parents would say like negatively obviously it's changed so much and so then we're trying to explain it to iraj i have a marion facetime for backup and he's saying that would be like iraj is on this whole tangent about how that would be like him saying like that's so dicky like that's so like calling things out right and i was just now i'm imagining him side stage at a show listening to me talk about anal like he's going to have a stroke.

Oh, no. I don't know if I want to like subject them to. The key is to have somebody side stage because if they're side stage, they can barely hear what's going on because it projects outward. I know, but they're so the type. So like I'm inviting people that I don't necessarily want to see the show and they are not getting seats. Even the other night in New York City, dude, like both nights.

Okay. There was a specific set of two people each night. Okay. Night one, it was JP Sachs. He is my favorite singer ever. I love him so much and I feel so lucky that we get to call him a dear friend. He was singing his hits in our green room after the show. We filmed it for the documentary, but I was sobbing sobbing right but the entire show i'm on stage and jp sax is singing

these beautiful songs you know if the world was ending you'd come over right right and i'm on stage talking about shitting myself and anal and how i'm what celebrities have me blocked and why and yada yada yeah but he gets down like that But I couldn't get it out of my head the whole show. I, like, I was, it didn't even, it obviously felt like I was performing to everyone in front of me, but in the back of my head, I'm just like, J.P. Sachs, J.P. Sachs. Night two, Hunter. Granted, Hunter once sat with these microphones.

He has seen it all with me. Here's the issue, though. Hunter, well, I don't even, God, let me just leave his personal life out of it. He's dating someone who i love and she's so amazing and wholesome and just awesome fucking awesome i want them to get married is the most important part just like a pure sweet kind-hearted angel and i love her and obviously like off camera hanging out with her i love love, you know, I loved it. But the whole show,

all I could think about was his sweet, sweet angel listening to me saying these things. Like it does fuck with my head a little. So in Vegas, I don't know how much I want to invite like the pastors and the teachers. I'm inviting my father and my high school science teacher bless his heart. I'm literally, he was my favorite teacher ever.

And honestly, he was like the cool teacher. He was so like, he let me do whatever I wanted. He was amazing. But like, he wants to come. And I'm literally he was my favorite teacher ever and honestly he was like the cool teacher he was so like he let me do whatever I wanted he was amazing but like he wants to come and I'm like I don't know if you know the nature of the show I'm like I invited his nieces and I try to give like the preface hard to those people like even hunters grow like an hour before the show I was like listen this is the content of what I'm talking about a lot of it is not sexual this time around. It's a little bit more just like embarrassing.

That's true. That's true. That's true. It isn't that sexual, but like, I don't know if that makes it better. Like I talk about some extreme, it's embarrassing,

but whatever, you know what? These stories, I will say on this run of tour are the most embarrassing. Like if two of my stories specifically, like I just, I can't, whatever. Y'all don't want to hear about obviously what we're not talking about on the show,

but oh my God. One thing that happened at one of our shows though, obviously we're talking a lot about how we feel on stage, but I do want to shine a light on y'all for a second, okay? And I don't want to spill this segment too much, right? But obviously we love coming up on stage and telling our stories but i never want it to feel like i'm just yelling at a crowd or like essentially like they're watching what could be a video i want it to be as interactive as possible so that it's worth the

money yeah and obviously all the stories again are ones that we would never tell anywhere else so you know but still i want to talk to everyone. And we've had a various set of crowd work questions that we ask. But we always kind of fall back on like our favorite ones or like tell us about the worst thing you did after a breakup. What's the hardest you've ever gotten revenge on a guy or a girl? Like what's because the people coming to our shows are fucking nuts like us in that regard. So we've been doing that a lot.

And then at the end of the show, we have an advice segment as well. First, just to touch on the revenge, asking people about that. I have heard stories that make me, from you guys in the crowd talking to us on stage, and the balls of being willing to stand up, spotlight on you in a room of like 2,000 people, and tell these stories. It's so amazing. And you know what's of like 2,000 people and tell these stories it's so amazing and you know what's crazy about it but not to cut you off no one's ever shy when they get the mic that's like so crazy I would be petrified and every single time everyone's like so this is what I did and it's it's so iconic it's amazing it attests that our audience energy

is very similar to ours but we had a girl in massachusetts stand up for the revenge segment and she told this entire sold out theater about how her ex-boyfriend cheated on her and her and her best friend shit in a bunch of bags and then like smeared it all over his car like insane like we had a girl the other night we don't recommend that by the way yeah none of that none of this is recommended i'm not necessarily condoning it i'm just talking about how crazy it is we go the other night show up to the meet and greet with a letter from her parole officer allowing her. Saying that she could attend the

show because she is a felon. She is a felon for felony vandalism on a car which was I think she said she keyed it up and down, put ketchup and mustard. And then she stands up with the mic and she goes on this whole tangent about how first they started on the car with like condiments. Like essentially

her boyfriend cheated on her and that's how it got to her vandalizing the car. But they started with like ketchup and mustard, whatever. That wouldn't be a felony. But then keying it in. She said her friend was the one who did the irreparable damage. Yeah. It was not her. There's been so many

crazy ones. But the reason I bring all of this up is because we do a segment as well where before the show i'm looking at it right now there's a giant qr code that we put until we come up on stage and we have people submit shit where they're like hey you know i'm and it's obviously it's only the people in the crowd they're like hey i'm going through this right now like give me your advice on this and we call it the canceled hotline right and we have we have a lot of people, like, how do I explain this, Brookie? Like, where they say like, I think my boyfriend's cheating on me,

but he's sitting right next to me, right? Or like, they'll say like, we had a girl the other night who was like, I caught my boyfriend essentially hooking up with his mother. I don't know how to say that without that being awful. But then like, they stand up and they get the mic and we ask them questions and it's fucking nuts right but people are usually very

99 of the time open and honest in their submission about if they want to remain anonymous or not or they will put their name and say they are willing to stand up right this girl submits something where she says my best friend of 16 years fucked my man essentially right and she puts her name whatever we start reading the whole thing it's like my best friend of 16 years fucked like this guy that i'm in love with what do i do yada yada right and we read it and she stands up and it's just her and she's in like the very back of like the bottom so you can't really see everything that's happening it's just a spotlight on her and then we have allison run the mic to her and then j-rod runs with a camera so that we can use it for like content and shit right and she stands up and

we're like hey girl what happened and she's like i've never liked a guy before like what else was she saying like i don't normally get feelings she was saying it's like very rare that i have feelings for somebody but i like really really liked this guy and my best friend was trying to set us up so she invited him out with us blah blah we had the best night and then she drove him home and obviously when she drove him home she had sex with him and then the next day came to tell her she rode him home yeah yeah and so it's always the bitch who's trying to set you up it's always the cupid bitch yeah no that is such a common theme it's always like oh my god you'd be so cute with this guy and then they trip and fall on their day i hate that but tana's like

tana's on a tangent she's like okay what is she some fucking uber driver slut like like good just going off and mind you as well like it's not just us. It's like when someone stands up and says something like that, like when that girl stood up and said like, my best friend fucked this guy and here's what happened. The whole audience starts booing as well. Cause it's like, it's our show. I feel like a big theme of the girls and the gays and the days at our show. It's very girlhood. Like a lot of girls stand up and they're like, how do I leave my situation ship?

And it's like the whole crowd and us giving her advice and yelling and like yada yada so everyone's like booing and shit right and i'm calling this bitch an uber driver slut like yada yada i it's i can't even think about it right now without my face getting hot this girl lets me go on this whole fucking tangent including brooke as well including the whole crowd as well we are all telling her like fuck that bitch essentially and she goes at the end of all of it she goes but not too much she's sitting right next to me she's sitting right next to me I shit you not I was sitting in my little chair facing out I got up and just laid down laid down like a plank face down on the ground what do you mean she is sitting right and allison has it on video the girl's just sitting there like this allison said that in her entire

life she's like never felt that like she didn't know what to do like she wanted to throw up because allison's sitting there like filming right it's not like the other girl was like laughing and they were like hooting and you know i've never seen this at any of our shows in my entire life imagine every single seat in here was filled with a girl doing this the way i would have laid oh my gosh i almost want to insert the footage like every single crowd member we should insert the footage every single crowd member was going like a hand over their mouth the room like i've never seen an uproar like that like everyone was like and it we were just going in like bitch why wouldn't you fucking tell us that beforehand? Like, oh, like because everyone else does. They'll be like they're sitting next to me or they'll tell us in the submission or like both people will stand up or whatever.

Like she made it seem as though she was there alone and we obviously couldn't see like everyone stands up and we couldn't see. And I would do anything for a GoPro on that car ride home. Oh, my God. There's no way they got in the same car ride home they had to a fistfight oh my god it was just so so fucking bad i just can't imagine and like if like you keep saying this but it's like imagine like you were that girl's idol and now like she's like my idol called me an uber driver fucking celeb and listen i did everything in my power to backtrack and be like girl listen someone would say that about me if this happened like you know what I mean like I thought you weren't here like

I hope you guys work it out on the remix like we've been through some gates like we'll fucking like you can slay you know and there was just no backtracking like it was just and then it had me thinking as well because obviously had I known she was there I would have approached the situation very differently but I just wonder now like was it a setup like did that girl like did they buy the tickets two months ago no she had no way of knowing that we were gonna do this and get chosen well they know that we do crowd work right they know that like yeah but like to get chosen is like very rare but then even was she sitting there in her seat, at least saw this QR code and was like,

seems like a setup. Cause I, there is a part of me that thinks, especially when I was like 19, right? Like even when I was 18, if like my best friend did some shit like that and then we had tickets to a show and I'm still a little mad about it we haven't fully worked it out but like we're okay that like my petty drunk

psychotic 18 year old ass would see something like that and be like oh bitch like i would put my like mr karma hat on now i firmly believe that karma just works in its own way on its own when i was younger like i don't know and i just i want i i honestly really hope that girl dms me and i'll give you guys an update if i have any additional lore but yeah now we're we're checking the seats next to the people and we're asking a lot more questions but it was together it was fucking nuts i'm crashing the fuck out by the way that's my term of the week crashing out i'm sleepy in life i just i don't know how people do actual long distance i really really don't miko was in bali and i've been on tour and we've been apart for 14 days now and it's not the vibe every single thing i do or

say or think makes me think of him it's also the time difference it's exactly opposite of where we are so like right now if it's 4 33 p.m here it's 4 33 a.m there so yeah that's really frustrating with my sleeping schedule and his like the waking up at seven to surf schedule like there's not much crossover and oh my god I just like watch his location like a tv show I just like sit in like I can't. Yes. It's a seven day countdown until he gets here. And then I think my mood will change drastically.

I didn't realize how much having him on the last tour because he's just like my piece. You know, I know you're so lucky you got to do that. But if I were just like single, it wouldn't be that it's specifically missing him. You know what I mean? Like I just he did do you want to know the cutest thing he's been doing though i think i already showed you but before he left my house he took one of my peppa stuffed animals and he's just been sending me these photos and videos of peppa pig going everywhere with him in bali look at this one i'm gonna insert this one look

at this one that is actually so fucking cute it's so there's a video too i'm trying to think wait where she or find it where she's in the car but whatever he's just been taking pep everywhere and then sending me photos which is i don't know why oh um in this is so random but i don't know why that made me think of this in fraternities like part of the hazing is like every pledge will get like assigned like a different task like and it'll be like like someone will be like like chicken pledge and like that pledge has to go to every single guy's room in the morning and be like a rooster and like like cockle doodle do to wake everyone up okay that's his that's his thing that he has to do yeah and they all have like different ones like one of them is plank pledge and like if he gets a text in

middle day like you need a plank on them all he has to go plank on them all and one of them is plank pledge. And like, if he gets a text in the middle of the day, like you need a plank on the mall, he has to go plank on the mall. And one of the guys was a flat Stanley pledge. And so he had to later without my ass injection, he never was allowed to take the flat Stanley out of his hand in any of his classes, anywhere he went, he had flat Stanley in his hand.

He never was allowed to put it down. And if he got put like caught putting it down, he would face serious repercussions. Why did that make you think about like as if it's pepper down because I was thinking about how flat Stanley had to go everywhere yeah oh my god that's actually kind of fucking crazy I am flat Stanley right now if I don't get to 7q spa in Glendale and have them shove some sculptra in my ass cheeks I don't know what's going to happen. If you saw, honestly, I'm going to insert an image that I had taken of my butt the other day. It is so concerning. It's literally, I'm not even kidding, there is no divide from my shoulder blade to the back of my kneecap.

It is a straight, perfect line. There is not so much as a curve. I feel that and I understand that completely. I genetically was born with no ass as well. Mine's i'm talking like hank hill that's how i was born really like straight like fucking it wasn't until i got sculptured that i like got a butt i need that yeah and it's crazy that i like i was watching a video meeting sculptured the other day and they fucking based you like a turkey i really need it it's not needles like it's huge but how long does it take to work?

Because, like, right now, I'm, like, I'm not even kidding. I'm, like, toppling over with these big old cannons on me. It takes, like, six weeks to work. And obviously, I'm never pushing anyone to get anything. I need a quick solution. But it made me so much more confident, obviously, because I had no ass before. I'm going to go to one of those people who does it in the basement.

That's silicone. And then you have to cover it with duct tape, and it'll leak out at, like, Catch LA, like, all the all the baddies you know what i was i saw the other day that really interests me jacqueline hill made this tiktok and i love jacqueline hill by the way i just want to say jacqueline i'm your biggest fan i always have been i've been her sobriety journey is so inspiring i like looks amazing she i'm just so fucking proud of her like i and she's really even just now as i'm delving back into my sobriety she's been inspiring me so much I love her but she was on this TikTok tangent about how she went in to get a BBL and she's

saying that she still wants one she's gonna get one after she has birth she still wants a BBL but she was saying that the and I just thought this was common knowledge right and then all the comments were like people need to talk about this more like this is so shocking that the plastic surgeon's office in Beverly Hills gave her a social media plan. Like they were like, Hey, cause a BBL can be like upwards of $20,000, especially in Beverly Hills. Like, Hey, we'll give you half price. And then here's how step-by-step, like I'm talking like, like wiki, how guide on how to make it look like you didn't get a BBL. Like, like, like with examples of all the

other girls who have done that, like, it's like six weeks before start posting yourself four to six times, like in the gym per week, you don't have to work out, just go in and take photos. Like, don't show your backside in any content for like six months, like all of this, like specific instructions with how to's based and i've seen those in plastic surgery offices and they do use some crazy names as reference like of who's gotten their surgeries there and shit and it's just kind of nuts that's so interesting but it's like i just don't believe in hiding it i'm like people always ask me like what made you talk about your boob job i'm like well what was the other option i was gonna pop out with fucking knockers and everyone was gonna be

like built like an airpod all of a sudden like fucking I keep saying Brooke is building air pollen and I hope you know that it is the highest compliment I would do anything no I say I'm built like an air pod I am it's amazing I'm so jealous um but yeah I just I've never understood hiding it obviously you guys know that even the other day in an interview that was supposed to be about my career and mental health and awesome things they were like do you have any plastic surgeries you've hidden and I like went on this whole tangent I was like why are you asking me that like it just pissed me the fuck off I don't know but obviously I never have and I was like you can literally google that I don't know why this

this should not be the content of this interview but anyways I just think that's nuts and I'm getting to the point as well where I'm ready to drop some semi-glutide lore on the pod. I don't know. I've been kind of making jokes at the live shows. But obviously anything that's like hidden in L.A. like we get to see firsthand and know a lot about. And there is so much lore about Ozempic that people like clearly if the plastic surgery how-to guides have still not made it to the internet until last week there's so much fucking ozempic lore that yeah some people talk about it like i know like remy talks about it a lot claudia o'sheree talks about it a lot

there's just some shit that you know i'll probably get myself into trouble and get sued next year for talking about it but i'm close just know I'm teetering the edge. Okay. Okay. Stay tuned. Okay. We're actually getting kicked off of this stage and I can't afford another $6,000 to do so. We love you so much.

Cancel listeners. Fuck, I wanted to talk about the hawk to a girl though. I just want to say like Jesus Christ, people are so fucking mean. Like you would do this. I think she's being funny and everyone in her comments is like. But just have you seen the men on TikTok and like what they're doing? It is so mean.

It's something that would happen to me. So I think that's why I like resonate. But I just want to say little Miss Hawk Tua, I met you. You're so sweet. What's her real name? Hayley Welch. You would do it too for a check.

Everyone fucking hating. If you were leaving a fucking club drunk and someone shoved a fucking iPhone in your face and asked you a fucking question about hooking up with someone or sucking dick my ass would say something 10 times more vile and i know most of you would too and if that video happened to go so viral that you could potentially monetize that you're telling me that you wouldn't leave your fucking hometown that you wouldn't fucking take the opportunities that you wouldn't make the fucking money you know people are telling me and i think everyone else would do it too for a check

and um the fact that people can't recognize and at least tip their hats to that i'm not saying you have to tune in i'm not saying it's of substance obviously we're not of substance so all right we are of substance but our podcast isn't of substance i'm done um just i she's 21 she's a little baby girl okay cancelled listeners we love you thank you for tuning in to another episode of the cancelled podcast we love you guys so much thank you for listening thank you for coming out to the shows you are so

cute and gorgeous if I don't get the fuck off this stage seriously it's gonna cost me another six grand but thank you to the Met again for having us I've always wanted to go to the Met it's our favorite venue best green rooms ever. They are so cool. And this week's Patreon episode,

I think it's us reviewing some award show fashion that's a little late with Makoa and a high episode. Brooke's gone. But maybe, I don't, I hope you enjoy it. There's some tour BTS. Let us know anything you'd want us to do over there. Good night, everybody. Time for the headliners, crazy bait.