Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - Episode 12: One of Us was Roofied

Episode Date: October 18, 2021

In this episode Tana and Brooke discuss Chris getting roofied, a food delivery gone awry, an update on crazy IV lady, Chris getting Tana tattooed on him and Brooke's chaotic evening. This episode is sponsored by Adam & Eve (http://www.adamandeve.com offer code Tana), Simplisafe (http://www.simplisafe.com/tana), Cerebral (http://www.cerebral.com/tana). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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look how good my life is so what else is canceled maybe you're supposed to start talking hello and welcome back to another episode of canceled i just chugged a lot of wine here's's some for you. No, we're not doing all that. You don't want any wine? Well, you were already drinking tequila. Yeah, I love to mix tequila and wine. Word to Olivia O'Brien. I miss being 22.

For tequila in my wine. No, no. Okay. Hello, Cancelled listeners. Today is the first ever Tana and Brooke solo podcast. I'm excited. This is the Tana and Brooke show today. No one else is here. I don't know with Hunter gone. We were trying the whole co-host thing,

but I feel like us two today, we're just going to take it on. I'm excited, but then it's like spooky because it's like a lot of times I'll just go like this. Yeah, there's a lot of pressure on the both of us to really keep the show going. But this week has been a roller coaster. Like a lot of fucking shit has happened this week already. I agree. I think it has something to really keep the show going but this week has been a roller coaster like a lot of fucking shit has happened this week already i agree i think it has something to do with the whole what is it mercury and retrograde or something maybe that's why i mean i'm in the city better be why oh my goodness mercury retrograde actually always fucks my life up so dramatically i think that's what happened to me but i don't feel like that i feel like you had

a good week right i kind of am under the impression that my boyfriend cheated on me but no one will let me have that so um listen I want to be there for you I do however I have to play devil's advocate from now on because I've learned that that's apparently your approach toward me all the time oh my goodness gracious no I mean I'm definitely being overdramatic but i do think things have been a little out of whack for sure are you gonna talk about are you gonna talk about what happened or no i don't know if i should i mean i guess i just brought it up like you know what i mean like i already hear you might as well i'm clearly fucking angry i'm in such a silly goofy mood today though i just want to say that I don't smoke weed anymore

right I'm kidding I definitely smoke weed but I I feel like I haven't actually seen you smoke weed that much lately so I used to smoke like 10 to 12 backwoods a day that was like when Kyla started working for me that was the first thing that I ever like taught her to do i know and poor thing didn't have time to do anything else roll me another one roll me another one she's like i thought i was like snoop dog like i literally i know she was like closing like a hundred thousand dollar emails to like roll me a backwood on the laptop it was ridiculous i wouldn't get out of bed like without one i was like but i think i was more addicted to the tobacco but still i just had to be like high 24-7. And I've been like that since seventh grade pretty much.

Really? Which is traumatizing. My first, kind of my first kiss and I, like everything we did together from the moment of like seventh grade on, I was just, I always was smoking weed. See, I had my phase like early on, like probably like middle school. And then like literally just one day I was like, oh, I never want to do that again. And then I just never did. I mean, I never stopped like ever. and then just everything in my life too it was

like through high school everyone smoked weed I sold weed through high school and then like in LA I kind of like found my first friends like even just like Elijah Daniel Bella Thorne like Monson like I just like everyone in my life was such a stoner and people always told me you'd get to a point where it's like you might want to stop but you've done it so much you might want to stop and I finally like I don't know like I also credit it to the puff like we went to that could be it's like you traded one bad habit for another 110 it was like because I had the tobacco like nicotine type addiction to the backwood and then we all went to Mexico and they don't have backwoods in Mexico or they do but they're really hard to find it's still different it's like a swisher it's like not the same thing so everyone had their puffs and then I just started getting addicted to the puff and then before I knew it I was like I think I'm more

addicted to like the head high which is bad I'm not condoning it I'm just saying like of the backwood that this gives me the head high and it's like so much more convenient we don't have to like roll it 24 7 take backwoods everywhere we go and then i slowly just like phased out weed and now like i hit the bong once and i'm like zooted or like i like i hit the joint twice like i like hunter was her hunter's friend was just telling us about how he like can't smoke weed anymore and he says now like when he like isn't high he feels high or like just like affects him so differently and like literally chris will like smoke a whole blunt and i'll hit it like two times and I'm like high as fuck and like I don't really I've never really I had such a tolerance for like eight years that I didn't really like like being high I like just being at this normalcy of this tolerance but now that I've like let that go

down like if I'm zooted I would be sitting here just like like frozen that's what that's what happens to me that's why I'm like I don't even enjoy this like it used to be like oh I would laugh so much and I'd have so much fun and I'd want to eat everything me. That's why I'm like, I don't even enjoy this. Like it used to be like, oh, I would laugh so much and I'd have so much fun and I'd want to eat everything. And now it's like I do it and I literally like, I'll go 10 minutes and then I'll be like.

Like you disassociate. You're like, where am I? I'm just like, I eliminate myself from the entire room. But it's also such a giant part of like my brand that I feel like

such a fucking fraud to keep this up and a part of me feels like I have to pick, I literally have to pick the habit back up. I don't think that that's true at all what i'm gonna release a weed line and not smoke yeah that's tough it's just and like everywhere i go still people

obviously like will always treat me like how i was this whole time i was in la like a stoner everyone's always passing me something and lately i'm like no and people look at me like like i don't even know you anymore like i like feel like yeah but I feel like celebrities go sober all the time but I'm not going sober well we know by any means like but you've put well I'm trying to think like now I'm thinking like okay so you've you've moved on to a new bad habit like I wonder if there's like a new habit like what's next like crack like no I was gonna I was gonna like uh go a little bit more toward like healthy for you or like like what if you like took up like working out or like oh like a like like a healthy addiction i don't know i'm not one to talk i don't think i've worked out in like three years it's crazy

to me when i see those bitches that just like they're actually like addicted to working out like i'll do it i definitely know i think those are the scariest type of people on this planet i think that there's like like very few people i'm afraid of and it's like one of those like sub genres of people or people who work out i can only work out obsessively out of spite like which is the most insane thing to ever say but i should be doing like i have to get like cheated on by a guy played by someone like dropped by like a brand like something has to like anger me to where i'm like i need to be so fucking hot like other than that i cannot work out like when my heart was broken like earlier in the year i was like running a mile every day out of spite that's fair that's why people in

relationships get fat or like people who are in healthy relationships like all of a sudden they just let themselves go i wouldn't say i'm in a healthy relationship but i would say i'm in like a fat enabling relationship okay if that makes sense I did see a literal bowl of spaghetti on your pillow yesterday oh my god and like there was a chalupa like um it was just it was it's bad this week it was really bad in one day I had KFC five guys like dominoes like all in one day and I was like this has to stop and my gluten intolerance is picking back up she doesn't have a gluten intolerance, you guys. Nobody's supposed to eat that. You're gaslighting me.

Like, here's the thing. Is this yesterday's episode or what? I'm allergic to gluten. Like, diagnosed fully. Like, I'm allergic to gluten. I know that. And if I keep eating it, I could develop, like, celiac whatever. Right.

But here's the thing. Normally, when I eat it, all that happens is I wake up the next day in stomach pain. Or I eat gluten, and after two bites, I get full get full really fast then i'm hungry later and then my shit is always like little pebbles i don't think you should actually share that i'm sorry at all thank you for having me um not the pebble shit no but like the little tiny pebbles like it's like nuts it's like not even shit like i know i'm like destroying my body by doing it but once every like two months i'll eat a bunch of gluten in a day like that and then i'll blow it up like a balloon i'll look like pregnant and i'll be in so much

pain and then that's like like stabbing stomach pains for hours and that reminds me like hey you're actually allergic to this and so like i'm trying to stop i don't even know but i don't think i'm gonna be able to i get that though sometimes i feel like you can like beat an allergy like i really feel that way like in hawaii i was just like i'm allergic to citrus like oranges and tangerines and stuff and i literally was just chugging orange juice and then my entire face swelled up and i just literally looked like an animal but now you think that whatever happened to you in hawaii is lyme disease but it is it's just very funny because i'll ask brooke like i want to go to dinner tonight and she'll be like i can't my lime and then like eight hours later she'll be like at

a dinner with someone else and i'm like you just didn't want to go to dinner with me you can't my roommate had enough with me today she was like asked me to help remove furniture and i'm like so sorry it's the lime like i asked you to like match me and like a like a slutty outfit the other night and you were like i have to wear like a crew neck it's the lime i was like it's the lime i'm not kidding like it's ridiculous but also i can't even lie i'm such a web md diagnoser too yeah like no celia amari isn't real like amari's been so mad at us this week because he's saying that we both have this problem like so bad of like self-diagnosing because right now i think i have perioral dermatitis oh my god no you do see my webmd diagnoser is helping me and that's actually what i did have in hawaii well that's like what i got

i've gotten it always it's like but well mine's the peri what's it called perio yeah perioral whatever perioral dermatitis everyone's so sick of me saying it amari the other day was like can you just shut the fuck up about your peri the platypus but here's the thing i don't know if you actually do have that because that with the way you were describing it that's what it would be but you don't i see you right now no i'm like i'm doing everything to like hide it but basically for like two months i've had this patch of dry skin right here and i thought it was x-max it's itchy it's dry skin it's flaky it just keeps coming back but then it's been like spreading and kind of having like little bumps and then i wake up one day and i have all these little bumps under my eyes like just this eye not my eyes i don't want to exaggerate um a bunch of little bumps under my eye and the night

before i was like scream crying at chris over something i don't know if it was my fault or his fault who knows and so i was blaming him i was like look i have a rash under my eggs you made me cry like so much just blatant is unhealthy just like blatant fucking lie um but eventually it just like would not go away i kept exfoliating it it was coming back worse i kept looking up like eczema and it just doesn't look like eczema like whatever and then at one point in life i had periorbital cellulitis right and that was when my eye would like swell huge oh yeah i'll insert a photo i saw the funny you were on my for you page but looking like that it today that's so fucking upsetting and heartbreaking like that people will never stop bringing it up

but my eye would get gigantic like huge i couldn't do anything and it would swell all the time and then i found out my eye was septic and i had cellulitis well i think it's like an autoimmune thing right no right and so i feel like the two would be like related. They are. So if you've ever had like, like periorbital anything or periorbital cellulitis, your chances of getting perioral dermatitis go up extremely because it's the same thing. It's like when the holes of your face have some type of inflammatory infection. That's why perioral dermatitis, what I currently have, comes around your mouth and your nose and your eyes like the same thing and it's so fucking bad right now the

only thing getting me through this is that hayley bieber has it that's what i that's that's literally you know that's how i found out because i always thought i got eczema i was like i was always like oh i have eczema on my face like that's so annoying yeah because i get eczema like all over my body i've never had it i never had it on my face until like recently and then i saw a video of her talking about it and I Googled it and I was like, oh. And it never goes away. Just you keep having like outbreaks of it for the rest of your life. I'm seeing a dermatologist this week. I'm so sad. But if you think about it, if you have Lyme and I have perioral dermatitis, we are Haley and Justin. Oh my, wait, that's such a good point. So we're fine if it's a flat or a squeal a wobbler peel your dreads worn down or you need a new wheel wherever you go you can get a pro tread experts conquer rugged terrain with

on-road comfort until june 15th receive up to 60 on a prepaid mastercard when you purchase kumo road venture at 52 tires find a kumo tread experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca. Until May 30th, purchase four new Michelin Passenger or Light Truck tires and receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard. Conditions apply. Details at Michelin.ca. Find a Michelin Tread Experts dealer near you at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca. But I want to move on to our traumatic week. Not traumatic week. Our traumatic night.

At Pied. That it is. Or at Poppy. Our traumatic night at Poppy. I heard Poppy outside. The night that she dragged me out, forced me to go out, and then I had the worst night ever, and my entire week has been absolutely awful

because of this one particular thing. I'm not going to lie to you. It doesn't make you feel any better, but it was also just the worst night ever for me too we went to dinner at our favorite place in la if you're ever in la you have to go here yesabel so good the yummiest food ever like i think i had 90 of this one drink it's so good with like the chamoy and the salina i hate when you do it it's so good it's it's ridiculous so we ate a full meal at yesabel and then i was like bro come on let's just go let's go to poppy let's go to poppy i wore this i was i was wearing this outfit like literally like a sweatshirt to be fair i was wearing a crew neck

too but then i asked someone for a hair tie and tied it up in a crop top which is jail jail but she i like she already knows i hate wearing like I hate wearing other people's makeup. I like I did my full face in her makeup. So I looked just awful. And I was like, oh, like this sucks. And she's she's like, you know what? Let's just go to Poppy. And.

Well, to be fair, we were with Ethan and I think Ethan was. And honestly, I was so excited. I was like, yeah, let's go. Like, I think if Ethan wasn't there, she definitely would not have gone out. But because Ethan was going, she was like, fuck it. Let's go. Let's go to Poppy. And we go to Poppy.

What a mistake. And I want to start with your night because my night didn't start happening until you left. So I think that you need to just. Until I left. I left two minutes after I got to Poppy. But I think you just need to take it away. OK. Now, I have talked about this man before on my podcast.

I have actually talked about him before. He is the man from the Uber story. This man has been ruining my life for what? I'm hesitant to even call him a man. Honestly, this boy. For like two years, I've been talking to, hooking up with this guy. He's awful, but he's, I call him my best friend. I'm like, love him so much, whatever.

This whole shit makes me sick. Sick. I'll give my opinion. Spoiler alert. We've still been hooking up up until like last week. Okay. I'm like love him so much whatever this whole shit makes me sick sick I'll give my spoiler we've still been hooking up up until like last week okay I'm sorry you lied to me you told me last week you weren't even hooking up with him I'm a liar okay continue anyway well because it's embarrassing like I know I shouldn't be whatever and I have no and it's to the point where Hunter and I get really mad now I know it's like why are you doing this to yourself but i've been there so continue so i do like that i acknowledge i acknowledge my like my fault in this situation and that is entertaining this guy at all anymore

but your fault is also based in love like you do really love him yeah i love him he's like i i i always talk about him being my best friend i'm like okay like i mean he really cares about me whatever i sound like the girl defending the couch guy i sound just absolutely you are you are the couch you're the girl i think i am just like honestly delusional oh my god but i we walk into poppy first thing i see is him and i'm like great and he's standing next to a girl who tana's friends with i'm i mean but now i am i like after this entire situation my my opinion of her has shifted okay so i don't i don't feel any particular way about this girl i actually really don't know her at all i've only ever met her like in passing like when we're both really drunk so i see everyone together i'm not really thinking anything of it until immediately

the second i get to the table, they just start violently making out like literally just, it was so, it was like porn. Like I, it was so porn though. Like everyone around. I like,

I remember Tyler Yahweh was like, why are they fucking in the club? It was literally like, he looked at me, made out with her, looked back at me, kind of chuckled a little, tried to say hi.

I was literally like, there's no way this is happening again. But then it's like, also, looked at me made out with her looked back at me kind of chuckled a little tried to say hi i was literally like there's no way this is happening again but then it's like also how are you shocked that this is happening again brooke you're an idiot anyway yeah okay continue normally i would have just like whatever stood there like oh this kind of sucks but like i'll get over it but they were also like behind this dj booth like on display to everyone like i know like it was it was more annoying i think than and it's not like it was like a friend or someone he's hooked up with before it was like this girl she was a girl the only also i should say the only thing i know about this girl prior to this is that she's hooking up with a like one of my best friends like guys that she's seeing and their and their whole friend

group yeah well really so i mean no i mean i'm not gonna lie her but her level of homie hopping inspired me so that was like that's what i was thinking i'm like she's hooking up with this guy who my friend is also hooking up with and that's how i knew her so now i'm like oh my god this girl is like well like girl yeah he ate my ass first though the guy she's hooking up with i just want to put that out there anywho okay so on a roof i'm like i honestly like i had had a similar situation with this guy like only a couple days before and i'm just like fed up so i honestly immediately i was like i'm leaving i left the club leave the club i get an uber ari was a sweetheart for this he left with me immediately oh okay yeah that's good he That's what I was going to say. Ari claimed that he like left because of you.

But Ari likes to lie. He really did. He like he noticed what was happening and he was like honestly so like such a clutch friend. He was like, okay, let's go now. My bad. No. Yeah, we'll get to you.

Okay. I get in an Uber. I just start sobbing because I'm drunk and I'm just like. Really? I'm just like so fed up like it's like how many times like I know it's at this point it is my fault

but it's like just every single time it feels equally disrespectful and just like embarrassing it's not like you had a shot it's not like you got to flirt with any guys like you walked in and saw it

yeah I walked in and it wasn't like it's not like I volunteered myself to be in this situation again it's not like I went to somewhere I knew he was gonna be I really just ran into him

and again it was literally porn. Like they were on top of the GJ. It was so deliberate. It wasn't like I walked in and it was already happening. It was like I walked in it and then it started. Yeah, like he looked at you, did it.

I get it. So it doesn't matter because this girl didn't know. So she didn't know like about me. So it's not her fault at all. I'm not mad at this girl. I'm mad at him. Okay.

But she also keeps up with our lives and knows about y'all and has and like i still think it's interesting because just something was her fault just not that particular instance so fair enough whatever i'm over it the next night i'm just like i'm out with my friend savannah because she's like going through a hard time with a guy right now too so we're just like we're just trying to have fun, whatever. I show up to this party and this girl is there. She has been out and everywhere. Not only is she there, though, she is the first person to come up to me comes right. I don't know her, by the way.

Like I we've never had like a one on one conversation. Of course, the first thing she says, and you know, a bitch is guilty when she does that. I'm not going to lie to you. Like I'm still honestly, I truly do believe that at that point she still was, like, clueless about it. But, of course, the first thing she says to me is, where's Tana? And automatically that's, like, a. Yeah, you're just like, shut up. And you were already mad about me, like, posting the story of her.

So you're just like, fuck off. So I'm, like, talking to her for a second. I'm trying not to just be, like, rude. Because, I mean, of course I'm upset. Like, I know I'm saying, like, it's not her fault and stuff. But fault and stuff but i feel like yeah no i feel some feelings toward this girl and it's just like like obviously we always want to be a girl's girl like you have to be mad at the guy not the girl like in a situation like that but it's like like even with me whether like whether i'm mad at the guy or not it's not like i want to be buddy buddy with the bitch who's like like yeah and that's

the thing and i also think my pussy it's embarrassing too because like he knows and everyone else knows her and i weren't really friends prior to that so if all of a sudden i'm being like super friendly with this girl i just look like i'm like psycho a psycho you know what i mean like i look like i'm okay like oh now you're gonna pop out being her like friend like you're so weird that's my favorite plot twist is when when a guy that you're fucking with hooks up with a girl to just start fucking her, like steal her from the fucking guy. I love that. I told you that's like.

I mean, yeah. OK, well, I. So let's let's go. So she's she's talking to me. She's she's really drunk and she starts confiding in me. She's going, the guy that I love is ignoring me right now and I don't know what to do. And I straight up look at her and I'm like, honestly, love you. But no sympathy right now. I'm like, I'm sorry.

It is hard for me to feel bad for you because I don't. I mean, if you really cared about him that much, you wouldn't have been hooking up with the guy that I've been seeing in front of my face last night. So it's just like a little confusing. And her face literally went white. She was like, wait, what? Like, and I felt bad immediately. I was like, oh, like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. But she goes, she immediately goes, I thought like, well, she says my basically my friend

who like a mutual friend of mine, a girlfriend of mine. She was like, I thought this girl was hooking up with him. Which is already annoying because now she's telling you like her and another girl are hooking up with your guy. But it's not. It's my it's a good friend of mine. And it's the one who's hooking up with the girl, the guy that she that she's also hooking up with.

So, yeah. So basically basically she was doing it she thought it was like another guy of hers and she was getting back at this girl but that automatically is a red flag in my opinion like you're you're only hooking up with a guy to spite a girl that's what i said that immediately to her and i go if you think that she's talking to him then why are you hooking up with them yeah like i and she goes well i don't like her we've been hooking up with the same guy for a long time. Like, blah, blah, blah. And she tells me that. The guy who ate my ass.

Yes. Sorry. And like, I wish we could use names because this is getting like confusing kind of. But like, basically she did it to spite another girl who's just a friend of like this guy that I'm talking about. Yeah. Like, and we're all really good friends.

Well, so I thought. Anywho. So I'm like, okay, well, no, that girl's actually seeing this guy who you also stole. So I'm just like A little confused honestly Like I'm not really That interested in Talking to you right now

She's really entangled In this like spider web With all these men Heavily entangled Okay she has like It's like seven guys Same group No shade

Because listen I've dabbled in Same guys same group No homie hop But don't homie hop To spite your girlfriends And to like Just be a girl's girl

Be like listen about it This is where the story goes awry okay this bitch pulls out her phone and she goes what i'm so sorry she goes i honest to god i had no idea like i really feel so bad and she's like had i known i would have never done that and i'm like okay like honestly so genuine pulls out her phone she goes watch this if it's a flat or a squeal a wobbler peel your dreads worn down or you need a new wheel wherever you go She goes, watch this. Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there, treadexperts.ca. Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino.

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please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Blocks him in front of me. And before she even did, I was like, no, no, no. Please don't do that. Like, please don't. I would freak out because then the guy is going to think that you made her. Oh, my God.

He's like immediately, his automatic reaction is going to be like, oh, Brooke went crazy and made her block. Yeah, 100%. I would freak out too. And so I told her, I was like, please don't block him, honestly, because that's embarrassing. He's going to think I did it. And she's like, no, no, no. Blocks him in front of me.

I see her do it. OK? And I'm like, oh, that's not going to be good. And she's like no no no blocks him in front of me i i see her do it okay and i'm like oh that's not gonna be good and she's like no i promise don't worry i will i promise just never speak a word to him again and in that moment at least you're like thank god you're trying to make amends maybe you are a good person and i'm like at this point i'm like i feel bad for even being rude to this girl because she was really sweet about it and she seemed so genuine and i was like okay like and she's trying to like make amends she's blocking him you're like okay like the problem is him, right? And she was so sweet.

And she's like, it doesn't matter. He's not going to think you, like, he doesn't have to know why I blocked him because I'm never going to talk to him again. I'll never say a word to him again. And I was like, honestly, you can if you want to. But if that's like. But that's sweet. But she's like, I'm a girl's girl.

I value like my friendship with you over him. And I barely even know you. Like she was just being so sweet. So I was like, okay, wait, I like this girl. She's texting me after. She texts me and she goes, where she goes where where'd you go like I want to be with you like I'm like I'm stuck at this party whatever and I'm like yeah I'm just going to bed like whatever and she's like I'm here for you I'm so sorry that I like contributed to this in any way like I feel honestly really bad and like I know you're hurt by him and like I'm sorry and I was like that's so sweet of you to say. But like I said before, like, I don't blame you at all.

He was a problem. No, when I saw your text, you were like, I do not blame you at all. Like, he's the problem. He's been a problem before. I was like, honestly, like before you were ever involved in this at all, like he's he's been doing this. You know what I mean? Yeah.

He's just not a good guy. He doesn't care about me. And that's like, I'm going to keep him blocked no matter what. So like, honestly, it doesn't matter. And until next week when she's riding that dick like a bmx the very no the very next day she's shut the fuck up the very next day she texts me and she's like hey like what are you doing tonight like i kind of want to stay in like i was just gonna see what you were doing like basically like trying to hang out okay yeah i just told her like i'm staying in I'm really tired whatever and I find out the next morning

that she called this man the man who she yeah apparently blocked you know and told him like hey I'm so sorry Brooke uh went crazy on me at this party and made me block you this is my turning point I just want to let this like like obviously I was upset about posting the story but I was like fuck this guy it's still the guy's fault but this is a moment where i'm like you're and of course he's good like because i mean the way that i've behaved in the past it's not i don't exactly have a great track record of seeming like very calm cool and collected so of course it's believable that like i i made her block him but i i truly wouldn't because like because that's i mean it's the damage is done i seen what i needed to see Yeah what what what good is that

Gonna do me like she said Basically like she went crazy on me so they refollowed Each other obviously which I can I can See on Instagram you know what I mean like It's not like I don't I don't need Any insight to put that together like I'm not Stupid so I text her and I'm like Hey just to be clear

I told you not to block him so Like I'm a little confused about this one. And it's such a pick-me thing to do to call the guy back and be like, Brooke went crazy on me and made me block you and I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. That's some shit I would, like, beat a bitch up for. Like, honest to God. Because it never had to happen like that.

It never, ever had to happen like that. Like, what? Like, she absolutely could have just been like, I'm really sorry. Like, I'm going to keep being his friend, but I won't get with him again. Or she could have said whatever to you. She could have hooked up like i'm really sorry like i'm gonna like i'm gonna keep being his friend but i won't get with him again or she could have said whatever to you hooked up with him a dozen more times and still it would be like okay he's a shitty guy for disrespecting me and i i'd be like okay like yeah like it's still his fault like i enjoyed it me action so you too it's the pick me it's just the like that i'm a girl's girl let's first of all no one who's a girl like you're you're not a girl's girl, okay?

And, oh, my God, it's her, too, like, just wanting to be. And I know it's because of you because, like, otherwise I honestly don't think that she would ever even entertain me for a second. So she just, like, wanted to feel close with me because, like, I don't know. I mean, I built, like, a friendship with her so I could see how she was trying to just make things right. But it's, like, too, I don't know. Like, in my opinion, the craziest thing you can do as a girl is call a guy and she made me block you especially when that didn't happen call him she made me block you refollow me like that's so insane and I would girl I'm like so I just texted her and I was like hey listen my only request is that you never speak my name to him again because I haven't blocked to a reason for a reason and I don't want him to know what's going

on in my life okay whether it's the truth or not yeah so keep my name out of your mouth and you can talk to him hook up with him as much as you want don't care and what'd she say ignored me that's wild too because she's such a texter like she the first text i sent her she replied in the same minute it was like literally like in the exact minute so i'm like i know you're on your phone she's also posting all these tiktoks she posted a cryptic tiktok like when you hear their side of the story and it's like uh this the remix and i'm like what like what are you even saying woman yeah it was just like an entirely, entirely bad situation. And I think us going to Poppy definitely started that.

If it makes you, I mean, first of all, fuck the guy. Like he's automatically, in my opinion, still the problem. I hate that you talked to him. I know she wants to maintain her little friend group, but I'm like, you need to go. So you need to ride some new dick. I agree. And I know how delusional I sound every single time.

I really do. Like, and it's, I'm losing all, like literally my credibility credibility i feel like i'm bleeding it out like i'm not even kidding like been there though because everything i would say to a friend like if you were in my position i would literally be like are you dumb like what do you mean when you care about someone that shit does happen yeah and like i'm i'm just like i i would have taken this to the grave i'm like this man is my best friend like he cares about me so much like i know that's just always going to be our relationship and it's like no best friend like imagine like hunter you're like no better seeing a girl that he's been like hooking up with for two years up until last week and like fully like making out with some girl in front of her every

single time too no and then after you left the club the guy who she's been talking about this whole time the one who hooked up the girl like her guy, he looks at me and he was like, Brooke, Brooke wants me to die. I want to kill myself. Grabs the girl's face, keeps hooking up with her, coming back to me. Brooke wants me to die. I'm like, bro, make up your, like, he's just, there's a lot going on up there. But after you left the club that night, I stayed there for a very long time with Ethan Diablo and Chris, right and this i guess this is fully my karma for posting the story of that girl so just know you got your come up and keeping it up after i told her how upset it made me i i got my karma don't worry um so natalie

brings me i hope you choke on every no but so but so Natalie brings me, Ethan, Chris, and Diablo over to the table. And we see this guy who is very sketchy. He's like always tried to like get at me. Like every time Chris is around, he's like, just text me. Like just, you know, like just like Chris has tried to like fight him several times because there's several times where Chris and I are fully together at the club. And he's like putting his arm around me, like trying to fuck me, like whole thing. Like he's just like a sketchy. And me, like, trying to fuck me, like, whole thing. Like, he's just, like, sketchy.

And I'm not just saying sketchy because of that. I mean, in general, let's say I was single. Like, I would rather literally cut off a pinky toe than ever hook up with this man. He's just genuinely, like, sketches me out. Sketchy to girls. Very, like, weird vibes. He hands me a drink, like, a shot. And this is, like, as we're about to leave.

And, like, don't get me wrong. We all drank that night. Like, you know, like, five or six shots or whatever like we were all tipsy but like nothing crazy he hands me the shot and i'm like i don't really want this so i hand it to chris and chris like okay like you know what i mean it's just like me handing him a shot and he takes a shot and we are all fine at the club like everyone is like like no one's drunk as fuck like we're just drunk you know what i mean we take an uber ride home everything's fine the whole car ride home everyone's fine chris walks in the door he's fine five minutes later he's like i don't know like just like

eyes are like rolling in his head like like i'm not kidding like instant flip of a switch like like all of a sudden is so fucked up out of his mind and we were gonna go to our friend's house like after the club you know what i mean so we were going home for a second we were dropping natalie off like we were all gonna go out and chris walks upstairs to my bed face plants into the bed and we're like what the fuck is going on so we think he's just like being dramatic and like whatever so me and diablo were still texting the people who were gonna go to we're like yeah we'll be there in 20 minutes like whatever and then chris is still like face plant into the bed and diablo and i go and like flip him over and he's just like i don't want to go out like i don't need like like and keep in mind like i every every time i keep saying chris got roofied everyone's like no

he fucking didn't like chris gets fucked up you know the story that you're telling me now that makes more sense because in my head it was like why would someone roofie chris you know what i mean but now that i know that someone was trying to roofie you it makes way more sense but i'm fully trying to roofie me and then chris's eyes are like rolling in the back of his head all of a sudden like he's chilling for a second i'm like giving him like water like pedia light i'm like it's fine i still think he's gonna like sober back up like at this point i was just like i'm trying to go yeah like no fully i was trying to go out still i was like it's gonna like you're gonna be then he's sweating balls and, like, can't move his whole body. And then I'm like, okay, wait, we can't go back out.

So me and Diablo were, like, picking Chris up like a baby. Like, changing him into a t-shirt. And again, like, Chris is great now. Like, but, like, we definitely had our phases. Like, there was a point in time where Chris was, like, on his rapper bullshit out. Like, Percocets. Like, Psycho. Like, fuck the fuck up.

Like, I've known chris for like five years i've never ever seen him like this ever and he sits up starts drooling on my bed and natalie's like oh no oh no oh no and i'm like chris are you gonna throw up are you gonna throw up and chris is like no i'm good like whatever blah blah blah two seconds later my house is getting personal organized right now right by janelle the organizer she's amazing she's phenomenal she's been organizing my whole closet whatever she has a whole floor of like bins of my like just little like cloth bins for the closet like sunglasses missing shoes whatever chris grabs a bin and projectile vomits into it oh at least

no it's like dripping out of the bottom though like fucking disgusting and i hate vomit so fucking much so it's i've never seen chris throw up like i i've seen chris be like i have to go throw up walk himself to the bathroom throw up and come back and be like i feel better but i've never seen him like physically seen him yeah just like i wouldn't have been able to take it and like can't sit up like whatever so then we all realize obviously we can't go out something's wrong with chris me diablo ethan chris and natalie sit up for the next four and a half hours while chris just projectile vomits every 30 minutes and it's not like he's like i have to throw up he like can't move he like sits up just starts drooling he threw up on two of my pillows natalie's running everything he's

throwing up out into the garbage outside whatever blah blah blah like for so long she's goaded for just starts drooling he threw up on two of my pillows natalie's running everything he's throwing up out into the garbage outside whatever blah blah blah like for so long she's goaded for that no she's the best she's such a mom and i'm like i'm not like that at all i'm walking around crying being like this is gonna prepare me for when i have kids this is gonna prepare me for when i have kids like when they're sick i'm gonna be fine i can do it i can do it feeding him pedialyte crackers like the whole fucking nine i sat up until 8 a.m until he finally stopped throwing up like went to bed he wakes up the next day and he's like why do i remember nothing i had five shots and then we remember the shot and he goes the last thing i

remember is we're like standing at the table and that guy gave you a shot and you gave it to me someone tried to roofie me and then i roofied my boyfriend and it was that's what we should title the episode i roofied chris like i was that's what we should title the episode i roofied chris like i fully like i like i mean i'm not gonna lie to you i had a podcast the next day i'm so fucking grateful like i'm so grateful chris took that l and not me jail like it's it's terrible but i've been roofied a lot too and chris has never been roofied he was like i've never i don't know if well i mean i went to college so i'm gonna go ahead and assume i've been roofied the worst hangover i've ever had you actually did take care of me that's what I was gonna say

when you were saying you like you're not you're like I'm not like that but you really took care of me the day that Ari or of Ari's birthday I was I've never I'm so good at like the taking care of like I'll order you food I'll get you water I'll order you an IV and the throwing up over on

everything I own I lowkey think he peed himself too no lowkey like there was a point in time where his jeans were, like, all wet right here. I get that, Chris. Honestly, no shame. No, the time when, or Ari's birthday when I was that hungover, I threw up, you don't know, but I threw up on everything you own. Baby, I threw up on all, every counter. At the time you were living at Weed Lake, you had that huge bathroom. I threw up on every countertop. I was, but I was so blacked out, but I was

so shameful that I was like, I was still throwing up, but I'm cleaning and cleaning. I was like, I'm so glad you were so lucky you didn't get in there until like 11 o'clock the next day, but I was not. It was a bad, bad horror scene. I believe it. I mean, I've been roofied a lot. It's crazy the way that roofie is like,

I hope no one ever gets roofied. It's the worst thing in the world. Like, it just makes you vomit and vomit and vomit. And it affects your drinking from that point forward. Like, it's like after you've been roofied, it's like your hangovers get so much worse and alcohol starts to affect you differently. Oh, great. Chris, check that one out. That's great news for Mr. Chris Miles.

If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your dread's worn down or you need a new wheel. Wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at treadexperts.ca. What I gathered from that whole situation is usually your gut instinct is right. If you think you shouldn't go out, maybe don't go out.

Because instead, you could stay home and avoid a lot of heartbreak. I'm not going to lie to you. The going out scene in L.A. has gotten so trash. Like, I don't know if it's my age or what, but, like, the club is, like, not really that enticing to me anymore. Especially, what I feel like it is, it's, like, we come back after COVID

and, like, COVID, like, although it was, like, obviously terrible for a lot of people, it forced, like, once it started to let up and stuff, you really, like, what you were doing,

you couldn't go to the club, you couldn't go, like, out really. So it was, like, you were only just, like, hanging out with friends. Yeah. And that's how I got so close

with all these people who I probably would have never actually like really spent like quality time with had I had like the pandemic not happen. So I was grateful for it and that. And then it's like after that, after I go from like just hanging out in small settings with like these really cool people, I don't want to sit at the club and like pound shots with a bunch of people I don't know. And it's just like the same exact people every single time.

And it's just, it's just not like I, it sounds so like old, but it's just not what it used to be. Like old LA was so awesome. And it's like, you'd go out and you'd see like Kylie and like Drake. Yeah, and it's just it's just not like i it sounds so like old but it's just not what it used to be like old la was so awesome and it's like you'd go out and you'd see like kylie and like yeah it was exciting it'd be so fun and now it's just like the tiktok people the two people it's like more promoters than it is anything else and it's like okay like no for and chris getting reviewed really sent me but then chris we ended up going out a few nights later because our friend case on who just got signed to FaZe Clan. It's crazy what FaZe, he is very attractive. I love FaZe Clan. But it's wild what FaZe Clan does for people because I've always known K-San as just this like rich kid.

And then he signed to FaZe. He decided he wanted to become an artist, DJ, whatever. First song out with Future and like Lil Durk, like just nuts. So Chris and I get to the club for K-San's fucking music thing. And we're there at the club and we had just gone to like a haunted hayride with Josie and Bryce and we were on this like it wasn't a double date but it was like our friends and us and like a vibe and just like every you know we like did this whole Halloween thing and we all were wearing these like light up horns

right and Chris was wearing he wore his light up horns to the club. So did Josie. I don't know what happened to Josie, but Chris was like wearing his. And we're in the club. And Chris dies by the statement that he was wearing them. And Nija, the like skateboard kid, took them off of his head. The skateboard kid. And then. Number one street skater in the world. Like in the Olympics.

I'm terrible. Chris dies by the statement that Nija took them off his head. And then they somehow got put on the head of this girl that Chris used to fuck. I think that they went directly from Chris's head to her head. I don't know. I don't think Chris has a death wish. And had that happened, it would have been like immediately straight six feet under. I don't know.

But anyways, these devil horns end up on her head. And then she's wearing them for a second. And she takes them off. She hands them back to him. And then for the visual listeners, I'm going to give you a reenactment. But he grabs her hand. He gets them. He puts them back on.

I want to really. It was this hand. I want to really reenact it. He grabs her hand, not with one hand, but with both hands. Oh, no. And then looks her in the eyes and goes thank you kisses her hand you're in trouble big trouble ari looked at me and thought i was going to murder someone my jaw dropped i would do the floor oh absolutely like to the like i spent the next

hour with josie where she was like i see why you're mad but you need a fucking like it's gonna be okay i'm like i know it's like i was seething trust me baby after what just happened to me i know that the the like literal just like rage and it's like i know your fuck me eyes bro i know i know what the fuck too well like i know what the fuck you look like when you're trying to fucking fuck a bitch right and so I'm just furious and then Chris bless his fucking heart I love him to death I will forgive him for this we all we you know everybody makes mistakes I've definitely I've definitely done some wrong but I mean all night is just like she's a great friend to me look I would do that to any of my friends like Diablo bro you are never gonna grab diablo's fucking hand

and kiss it with fuck me eyes you're blatantly fucking lying like that you're trying to defend yourself and then he's like he's like we spent the whole night with bryce you fucked him i'm like but am i kissing bryce am i kissing bryce's hand and looking him in the eyes like fuck me like i'm like refer to her tiktoks i'm just kidding oh i know i'm just kidding no but i like i honest to god i really like as much as i want to be like the devil's advocate i would be so pissed if i were you i i would i would be fuming i was and am literally still furious and i keep calling him a cheater but he's being like i'm not a cheater and i'm like god i just want you to own it and apologize that's my favorite thing i just fucking own it don't deflect don't whatever but at the same time

i know it's not cheating you were just cheaty like it's definitely like different i get what you're saying though listen i'm just airing him out but i mean whatever a real apology goes a long way because a lot of times same thing with my situation had someone just texted me that particular person just texted me the next day and been like listen that was shitty shouldn't have done that i'd be like i'm the most forgiving person in the world i'd be like okay yeah i couldn't agree more but if somebody's trying to make you feel crazy like what the fuck do you mean that's not even like you know what i mean that's just like no no and i just like see but i don't know if i'm a hypocrite here or not then he's like we hang out with people you fucked all the time you're all over people you fucked all the time like tyler

like whatever like which so like maybe he has a point. But it's hard because it's like, I know, like it's like a little bit of a double standard, but it's like, you know your intentions and you know you're all about Chris. So it's like, you don't, I don't know how to explain that. Like, I just think he's wrong.

I don't think there's, until I get a Bottega bag, he's not fully forgiven. Paige made a really good point though too, where it like if he was should page asked me she was like is he doing this to like make you jealous or spite you or whatever and i would be less mad because it's like you're doing that to get my attention now it was a moment where it was like if i didn't see that it would have just happened anyway like it like you were doing that yeah that's what i do agree that that's sketchy about it too it's like that was gonna happen whether you were paying attention or not such a fucking nasty no i'm not slut shaming i'm a slut i'm saying she's just like a nasty she doesn't i'm

gonna la hungry tiger well she's just she's what i know about her is that she's just one of those girls who's like all about the guys she only has like friends no what and every time in the beginning of my career she doesn't wear any makeup she always goes out in her glasses yeah no 100 i'm just kidding i'm going she's really nice but i just i don't even know i i get as a guy honestly i believe the guys when they say like oh this girl's my friend but i'm like you know you're in love with her and it just sucks because that brings out such the toxic in me because i'm like okay and no there was one point too where chris and i were talking and he goes he verbatim said i cannot even believe he said this and he later retracted but he goes kissing is the same thing as hugging to me and i go bet

bet i'm gonna be hugging all my motherfucking friends of course you're gonna regret saying that and that's the problem too is all of this triggers such a side of me where I'm like, you going to kiss the people you fuck? Bet. I'll show you. I'm like, we're going to Miami next week. Bet. No, today he said he didn't trust me in Miami.

I was like, bet. I'm like, Miami? What do you mean? Oh, yeah, we are going to Miami this week. We're actually doing a yacht cast this week, a little podcast on the yacht. I'm so excited. I am. I'm very excited.

I'm going to play for dinner. Maybe I don't belong. I decided that because Brooke was acting a little too sad the yacht I'm so excited I am I'm very excited I decided that because Brooke was acting a little too sad and caught up on this man that I would bring her to Miami I literally haven't seen since that day I didn't see her one time I was literally just sobbing my eyes out every single day so now I have to go to Miami and I've always said if you are having a mental health deficit

if you are hurting the best thing you can do is just go to Miami it's terrible advice but it works every time so that is what's going to happen i'll try anything um but i men men are trash yeah should we get rid of them like the whole fucking entire gender i literally miss being with girls so much and it's funny too because lately i've been telling that to chris so i'll be talking to girls i want to fuck and i'm like i want to fuck this girl so bad. Like, I just miss fucking girls. Like, whatever.

And he's like, let's have a threesome. But I'm like, I don't want to give you. I just want to go be gay. Like, leave me alone. Like, I just can't. I can't. You're terrible. But that's bad.

I know. I get it. I'm sorry. I'll stop. Jail. So, but speaking of Chris, a good thing he did this week was he got my name tattooed i'm so sorry you're bad for that one i would never let a man get my name tattooed unless it was like someone i knew like it is that i would always be around that every single person that

i've told like or that knows because i posted it that chris got my name tattooed not one person has said chris you're bad for that every person has said tana you're bad for that baby you know he made that decision he decided to it's also like okay look at the safety pin on his cheek and tell me if you can trust his decision making well that was my thought with chris i mean first of all to the to the homage of men tattooing their name, and I don't mean this in a, I'm not saying he's disposable, but I'm saying he is like the seventh guy

to tattoo like me, my name, something of my likeness, like something like that. Like, I think that I just, I have that effect. You're going to jail. I know. If anything, I think that

if you're going to throw back a toothless, gagless throat, fuck, you should get your fucking name inked on them. I'm like, you know what I mean? Like, I i'm giving you my love so why wouldn't you put and honestly it's also like chris i think for the rest of your life you should look at that and be reminded of the best love that you ever had i can't stop thinking about toothless gagless throat fuck that's what i'm saying though it's like use that one like don't if i'm ever even allowed but i mean i'm just saying i think sometimes you're giving so much of yourself that a little ink back isn't always the worst and especially i mean i guess it's not like it's it's not like somebody it's not like me getting

your name tattooed where it's like i don't have tattoos he has tattoos literally on his face on every part of his body he's a coloring book what's a little tana what's a little tana yeah and what did he say he would change it to if you guys ever broke up it's like no but this is this is actually what i'm sick about with him because anyone who's ever a lot of people haven't got my name but they've gotten like things i've said or like sentiments that we had or like something but anytime a guy's ever gotten something tattooed for me they always will be like yeah i'm keeping this forever this moment's amazing whatever chris deadpan is like if we ever break up i'm either covering it up fully or he's said several times that it says t-a-n-a and he'll just change it to the word katana and put a big sword through it.

Hysterical. Go fuck yourself. No, and then that's when I was like, why don't you just make it say Hannah Montana and then get back together with Noah Cyrus if you're just going to play me like that. I think you might be onto something with that one. I'm just kidding. I'm like, no, I was sick last night. And he was like, well, why are you thinking like that? Like, if I got your name, like, does that mean we're going to be together forever?

So as long as we're together like i'm gonna have it and i'm like no but if we ever break up i want you to spend the rest of your life looking at that sad that you lost me and then he's like what about my other girlfriends i'm like i want them to fucking suck your dick and see that shit like i want it to i sound terrible i'm like what was the mental health app we were talking about cerebral it's a little. It's a. I mean, I've been debating getting something back for him, but I just.

I love. No, I love you so much. And I love Chris so much. I really do. I actually. I'm not going to. Don't. I lied just now.

Love you so much. Don't. Yeah. No, I mean, but I feel like if you're going to get a tattoo of get like Hunter. I have a matching tattoo with Hunter, but it's right here. That's it's also funny with Hunter because i got his favorite number on my hand this big i don't even think the visual viewers can see it like and then he got my hand writing i wrote out my favorite word across his leg like it's i always like i love the even with bella

thorne i got young we both got young as fuck i got it tiny on my butt in her handwriting she got it across her i'm actually that's something i was just thinking about about you the other day is like i would expect you to have a lot more tattoos and you really don't well it's it's that i've just learned over time that like literally every single tattoo i have i hate i mean my favorite tattoos on my face is 11 11 monson wrote it like that i love that one but i mean like other than that like every tattoo i have i hate this one was for my dead best friend rip love you i don't think tattoos and me are good because i don't think tattoos and me are good because i don't think tattoos and i really go together either i would get like honest to god like we

when we were in dallas we all talked about getting like a little cowboy hat or something i love the concept of like a tattoo just being like for like stupid i love that for some reason my mom's always said that too like it's almost like more meaning if it's like okay yeah no i was for the moment and i got this like then it is like if it's like like i'm not gonna get my dead grandma's name because like i remember her name okay and i don't have to read it on my wrist every day i see what you're saying and i love dumb tattoos but i also have started to believe that matching tattoos hunter's the only person that i've like disproved this with like the but that they like ruin a relationship or a friendship or like anytime anyone ever gets my name tattooed or something

it's just downhill from there. I shouldn't get Hunter on my face. I mean but I'm kind of down for that like you know what I mean but I mean I'm sitting

here saying they're a negative sentiment but then again Chris got it and then he was cheating so who knows you know maybe it is everything.

Mercury's in retrograde I'm going to stop talking. Mercury's in retrograde. If it's a flat or a squeal a wobble or peel your dread's worn down or you need a new wheel wherever you go you can get a pro If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel,

wherever you go, you can get it from Tread Experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. Treadexperts.ca. So I have two things to tell you. Oh, no.

I'm scared. First things first. Last week on the Lila podcast, I talked about the crazy IV lady that came to my house. And then I briefly talked about how I have a really good IV lady who's like my IV mom. And so I just had her like a week and a half ago she came to do an IV and the week before she was the person who came after I had the crazy IV lady so I told her the whole story right and so she was telling me how she was giving me this IV last week she was like after I went home I did a bunch of research like I wanted to find this person I wanted to like know whatever she went in the ivy doc system found this lady looked up her shit and she's not even a nurse she immediately got fired the crazy ivy lady is not has as much certification as you and i to do an ivy oh no

he's not certified at all insane and she gave me an ivy i always think about that like what if i just walked into the hospital and just started like changing diapers or something but that's what that's literally like she's given me an IV before that would be like letting you give me an IV honestly I mean I'm qualified did you know you were as qualified as that woman I just want to say that confirmed so I mean I'm really excited if anything made me look less crazy in this episode it's that honestly I am sorry for doubting you I feel like I give you a hard time all the time because your story I know I always say your stories are you. I feel like I give you a hard time all the time because your stories are exaggerated. I completely understand. I just keep doing you.

Keep giving me a hard time. I completely understand. I can't help it. I feel so good. Brooke, I have a major announcement for you. What is it? Yesterday. What is it?

This has been an ongoing thing between Brooke and I, but I'm just telling her on the podcast. We might cut this, but I'm just excited to tell you. I logged in to my own Lyft account. See, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I've been using Brooke's Lyft for six months and it's her trauma. Had this happened maybe seven days ago, I would be like, wow, that's so sweet. But she left me with one strike left before I get banned entirely.

Okay. I've gotten so many health and safety violations it's not even funny. It's because I, I mean, I'm not going to lie. I try to wear my mask a lot of people. It's the puffing in the Ubers.

That's what it is. No, I think it's letting people in that are maskless. Okay. Whatever it is. But I just want to place blame also. I would never health and safety violate because it's always only me.

And it's like, what am I going to do? Like, there's only so much little old me can do. But when she gets in with all her rapper friends, it's just a big mess. And anyway, I'm almost banned. So now that she has her own Lyft account, I'm going to have to log into hers. Mine's going to be banned. If it makes you feel better, A, you can have my account. B, one of the CEOs of Lyft, great friend of mine if you're watching this, love you.

We'll give him a call. How have you gone this long without a lyft account if he if you know the ceo i really was just enjoying using yours that was so fun for us that was such a funny experience no honestly thank you for doing that i am really proud but i didn't come without a death threat for me when the last the last health and safety violation i literally texted you and i said if you don't log out right now i'm gonna murder to murder you. And then the very next morning, I get a call from a 224 number and I'm like, oh, Tana's Lyft is here. I'm sorry.

I am happy for you. Thank you. That really does actually make me happy. I did it for you, baby. I have to give you a hard time. I did it for us. I gave her a brown lip liner. Oh, yeah, guys. Update on the brown lip liner. Brooke ordered five and gave me one yesterday. I'm wearing it today. I gave her a brown lip liner. Oh, yeah, guys. Update on the brown lip liner. Brooke ordered five and gave me one yesterday. I'm wearing it today.

Best gift ever. You're honestly such a good friend. Like, the amount of times I was so annoying over the brown lip liner. Like, you could have been like, fuck you, cunt. Never touch my shit again. But you got me one. Well, yeah. Like, aw.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Brooke and I's new bit when we go out is pretending like we're stepsisters that just reminds me and we're stuck like full stuck porn like we're at a restaurant we'll be in a bathroom and there'll be people

in line and Tanner will be like Brooke I'm stuck in the stall and around guys it's so funny because obviously guys watch that porn like heavily

so like you know what I mean like let's say we like don't want to go in the back of an Uber and we're with a bunch of guys like we can't like we'll get stuck like it's been like our entire bit this week which is terrible we're funny so yesterday say we like don't want to go in the back of an uber and we're with a bunch of guys like we can't like we'll get stuck like it's been like our entire bit this week which is terrible we're funny so yesterday we were like getting a postmate and this guy comes up fucked up out of

his mind with the postmate so we post me an alcohol for the podcast for zane and heath and the postmate shows up and page is at the door getting it and this guy comes up behind the postmate and at first she thinks it's like the postmate's friend or like something and like he's behind he's like do you have a mask you have a mask whatever and the postmates looking at page going close the door close the door this isn't safe close the door he's like trying to id her she shuts the door chris comes up he's like hey bro you have to get the fuck off the property like i don't know what you're doing whatever it is like but you don't have a mask like thank god for simply safe but it is traumatizing yeah i was so scared i got i came over like maybe like 20 minutes later and everyone thought that i was the crackhead no you were

banging on the door we were books banging and she's like who is it and i'm thinking like what do you mean who is it like let me in so i'm just not even answering i'm like oh i'm so sick of these people and then of course i hear the story about the crackhead and i'm like oh it's been a little fucking nutty in the neighborhood this week so if i'm leasing out my house and moving back into david's with the lowered property value in a couple weeks i never thought that i would miss weed lake so much but i really like really moving out of the hollywood house is the worst decision i ever made like the word i should have just renewed it and now the owner of that house is literally suing me for seven hundred thousand dollars like we said on the

podcast had i just stayed of course i would have gotten sued when i left but imagine just prolonging that for a year i would have had my great house like i am so sad and i want to move back to hollywood like i'm yeah that's tough I feel like a good house will come but it's just like it's hard because the market's so awful right now and it's like it was just so tricky that's why we did it like where you are is like best case scenario for what you were offered but it's just like yeah like it's the best house that I could have found for my money for sure but like god I fucked up and I'm stuck there for a year and it's so funny because everyone comes over and they're like, why do you live here?

And then everyone's like, a good house will come. And I'm just stuck in the shit for a year. It's a beautiful house. I mean, it sounds like almost even like stupid. We sound crazy being like, it's just that it's really just the area. Yeah, it's just the area. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, that's like not really that big of a deal as long as you have like a good security system and stuff.

But it's just like we got to stay tuned if you're spending that kind of money especially like thinking like because we're not from california it's like thinking about like how far that could go anywhere else in the world it makes you sick oh no if we were in like dallas texas we would have like four elevators yeah like it would just be awesome but i mean it's it's the cost of living here and you know that's life but i mean i all you wanted. I just feel like an idiot. You can come over anytime. I have an empty room. My roommate got married and moved out.

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Update on Brooke's roommate. We talked about that right in the beginning of the podcast. Yeah, she literally just got married. She's trying for a baby now. She's trying for a baby. She's so crazy.

And I'm talking she is like just like us. Like young L.A. party girl. She stopped drinking. She gave up alcohol. She deleted her Instagram. I mean, I would do this. Changed her number. Like, she's honestly, like, I mean, she's really, like,

she thinks in her head, she's like, I'm turning over a new leaf. She's focusing on what's important and stuff. But it's kind of crazy. I, like, literally have a fucking car. But it's just wild because she met this guy, like, two months ago. But I would do the same shit for, like, a billionaire that proposed to me. I mean, you know? Like, I get it.

I don't know if I would. I have a great next topic. that proposed to me. I mean, you know, like I get it. I don't know if I would. I have a great next topic. I'm in a worldwide cocaine scandal. I'm shocked. I saved it for last because I'm sick at this. I mean, here's the thing. If I sat down here to you and I told the people that I've never done drugs, I'd be lying.

That'd be a blatant lie. I've had my Paris Lindsay moments. I'm not going to lie. But I think that people think I do a lot more bad shit than I do. I think people assume that things are worse than they are. I think that people assume I'm just out here like, I don't know, like just co-coring it out. I don't even know.

And here's the thing if i was or wasn't i don't think people would really know because it's like everyone in la does their cocaine from time to time in secret i'm not condoning and i'm just saying it's a thing but my problem is is ever since i got a fake nose i've talked about this so many times but it's made out of my ear all the nerves are replaced whatever i've talked about this so many times, but it's made out of my ear All the nerves are replaced. Whatever. I've had this problem from day one of the surgery I will have it for the rest of my life unless I get a new nose. It's always super painful or itchy That's why if you watch every podcast even this one i'm sitting here itching my nose the entire time I'm, obviously not coked out on the podcast. Like it's just like I

I'm, always going to touch my nose. It's always going to be itchy. It it's always gonna be really sensitive whatever and i'll have moments where it is mad itchy and i'm just scratching it like whatever and amari in hawaii this and especially in like other climates this will really fuck with me so in hawaii the entire time my whole face was itchy especially my nose whatever the night of my birthday dinner in hawaii i was just literally i was scratching my nose at one point with a knife it was so so itchy at dinner. So there's all these clips of me giving my birthday speech, sitting in Amari's vlog, whatever. And I have a full face of makeup on. And then just right here, there's no fucking makeup. Well, what we should also know is like if you look at any of the other people in that vlog, like I'm in that vlog and I'm fried.

Like I'm as red as this couch. Yeah. Because we were all in the ocean all day, like whatever. Yeah. And then we're just applying our regular makeup over our face and over these like literal scorched faces and so when she's wiping her nose like it's like a like underneath is red yeah so it's like it looked so awful and like i see i've seen the clip and i'm like oh that's not looking so good so anyways this entire clip of me and amari's vlog which is my all my makeup off my nose has

been going viral on TikTok. And you should see the comments. It's brutal. Every person in the world right now is calling me a literal coke whore. Well, here's the thing. I think the problem is, like, I honestly, I will defend you. I honest to God, it was just like a bad video. And it looks bad, but whatever.

It's just the Hollywood fix videos where you're literally like, the most recent one where you're like, I just think she's like something high school. Dude, the paparazzi. And it's like, you can't talk like that. And people are going to think you're on drugs. What kind of alcohol are you drinking? A lot. Here's what makes me really mad. And I don't, I'm not like mad at the paparazzi.

I'm not going to pull one of those. Like, I hate the like, Madison beer-esque vibe where it's like, I hate the paparazzi. Like, you called them. You called them. Everyone calls their paparazzi now and again but at the same time if you get in the paparazzi circle they start knowing where you are at all times like they like obviously there are moments where i'm fully fitted and i look great and i'm going to dinner and i'm like but also keep in mind if i'm calling the paparazzi on myself i'm sober i'm never gonna call the paparazzi yeah that's like the dumbest thing you could ever possibly fucking do.

You know what I mean? But once you're in that realm, no matter what, they start kind of knowing where you go and following you and like, you know, watching your shit, watching your friendship, finding out where you are. I feel like that's just an interesting thing to talk about in general because I feel like a lot, that's like something I didn't even know before I lived in LA.

It's very true. People literally call the paparazzi. And Kim Kardashian like started, she pioneered that shit. That was her, yeah. Like it's a business model that was her yeah like it's it's literally like you know brands will pay you to wear something so you call the paparazzi in it or like when i launched my perfume i called the paparazzi that's fine i get it but it's like i i don't want to say the paparazzi obviously they're setting you up but i mean i don't want to make the paparazzi set me up but it's like they know i shoot the podcast here i

guarantee you they could find that here they're never gonna come here and film me because they want to find me when i'm absolutely blacked out of my mind they're gonna wait till 2 30 in the morning when they know i'm at a club super late and just start asking me questions yeah here's where i think i'm so wrong like this is why like kendall jenner is so good at this you know like i've seen kendall jenner blacked out but when she's blacked out she's not gonna speak to them genius she's you're just too nice you're too sweet no but it's just like i think in my drunk mind like i you know me i'm like no i got this and then you start you literally start just speaking full hebrew and rubik's cube like just speaking and i always in my drunk mind i'm like yeah i got this again they're here they're asking me about nessa and jade and i'm gonna talk about them so last week the paparazzi found me at a club and they were asking me all about nessa and jade

and it was just what i said is what i meant but it was the slur yeah the slur you are a slur i i have a slur heavily just like that like that just are naturally like slurs and mari's a slur for sure like i like i feel like even just like three four shots and i begin to slur but then when i'm like six seven like you lost i'm not a slur i will go you know how drunk i am based on how silent i go all of a sudden you just can't see anything in my eyes and i'm like that's so true but see that's if i could just go silent when i were too drunk i would save myself from like 40 percent of the media embarrassment that i have i I don't know. I think you're doing just fine. Everyone tune in to me,

Daily Stardust, leaving the classic cat this week, talking about Nessa and Jaden and asked me if I should have. She's not a crackhead. She's just a drunk. If someone could just teach me to shut the fuck up when I'm blacked out to the paparazzi, I would do myself a goddamn favor because they're never going to stop like putting me. It's funny.

I love it. It entertains me. I know. I just wish they would get me at like Trader Joe's. I wish they would. Have you ever been to Trader Joe's? No, but I wish they would get me there. Kyla and Dave are like, we go to Trader Joe's.

Like, I wish they would get me at like, I don't even know. I don't even know. Somewhere better than leaving the club at 3 a.m. I'm sick of that. Like the flea market. Like, I really don't even know. I don't even know. Somewhere better than leaving the club at 3 a.m. She's like, at like the flea market. Like, I really don't go anywhere. That's, that's,

that's probably the problem. I'm teaching Tana to drive. Oh. She said she would pay me $2,500 if I could successfully teach her how to drive. And I feel really confident in my driving abilities.

Kyla Page put that in the invoices, sorry. My grandpa taught me how to drive. And my grandpa is a grandpa. So obviously, he's a good driver.

The other day you told me that you learned to drive by your mother putting you at the wheel at 13. No, that was the first. That's the first time I drove. So that's a different story. The first time I ever drove was my mom. She was like, this will be funny. And she literally was like, check this. She let me go on the main roads.

She just let me do it. And I was like, OK. No, I feel like my parents. Like there was never a point where I feel like my parents there, like there was never a point where I feel like they were like, here's some life skills. Like I genuinely just remember hearing, like, we're not going to teach you to drive. Like you'll figure it out one day. So at least your parents, my grandpa taught me how to drive, but he was so like, he's such a grandpa. So he just was like, so psycho about it. And still to this day, I drive like literally like

a full grandparent um to be honest with you i'm getting my license just so i can buy a car like that's really the reason i will probably end up having everyone else drive my car see i would love for you to have a car that i could drive that's i i know for a fact i'll end up having like hunter brooke kyla page ari anyone else drive it but i feel like such a fucking piece of shit if i go to the dealership and i'm buying a fucking g wagon with the state id like that's embarrassing yeah that's fucking embarrassing and it's the only reason why now i'm cardi b does that she has all her cars she doesn't have a license doesn't know how to drive honestly in that case she has a lambo truck in that case should we

should we go to the dealership after this um but realistically just where i live lately again because the area i keep getting the most insane Uber drivers I can't do it anymore I just have to have a car so I hopefully maybe we'll do a driving episode of the podcast I think it'll be

maybe not no my dermatitis is itching right right is your lime acting up no but my arms are feeling a little

heavy well guys I hope you enjoyed the Brooke Tana cast the Tana Brooke cast cast tana brook the first episode of just us two together it's it's been a week as you can tell i don't think hunter's ever gonna come back because he because we slandered the shit out of him i texted him happy boyfriend national boyfriend day and he didn't respond no i i asked hunter to fly in

for an episode and he said absolutely not. So I definitely think that our slander might have gotten to him a little bit. I do think we stand by what we said and we edited out the really mean stuff we said. And I miss you. I love you. Stay on tour, fucker. Thank you guys for tuning into this episode. Brooke's going to fight a bitch. I'm going to keep getting names tattooed on me.

She might have Lyme. I might have perioral dermatitis we'll keep that up with you um ivy ladies crackheads cocaine scandals canceled podcast we love you yeah and if you're a doctor please comment down below how do i treat my there's not a doctor in the world watching this fucking podcast so thank you so much for tuning in we love you tanamoja is canceled I don't think so. Thank you so much for tuning in. We love you. Tanimoja is canceled.