Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - Episode 13: Tana's Single Shenanigans

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

In this episode Tana and Brooke discuss Tana's breakup, their epic show, the dangers of CarPlay, and Tana's stalker. This episode is sponsored by Manscaped (http://www.manscaped.com promo code Tana), Pill Club (http://www.thepillclub.com/cancelled) and Storyworth (http://www.storyworth.com/tana). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Cancer. Don't remember doing this at all i can only hold myself accountable look how good my life is so what else is canceled hello and welcome back to another episode of Cancelled and another episode of the Tana and Brooke show. I love this show. It is just Brooke and I today for a very special Halloween episode. Yes, Tana is, I mean, it's unclear what she is. I really can't tell. You are what you eat, guys. So when I'm not being cock, sorry, I'm on go.

It had to go. We're not even 30 seconds in. It's literally, I'm just single. I'm like very feisty. I'll get into that in a second, but I'm, I'm being a pickle today was the point. So if you, the audio listeners, you are missing out on a treat today. This is the only time I'll ever be in a Halloween costume that covers me. And it is unclear what I am. I was under the impression that I was a prisoner until I realized I was, um, I perhaps might

also direct traffic. Oh, cause the, cause the, um. Like why would I need to be reflective in prison? Unless I'm running away. I guess that's. Oh, that's probably a thing for like the flashlights. Word on the street is the prisoners don't really wear this anymore. Brooke called me today and she goes, look, I'm my mom.

No, my mom's was like a cute nude. It looked like it was like. Like a cute nude. No, you know, those like the Glossier, like the people who work at Glier all wear like the like like nude jumpsuit yeah like a skims vibe almost it's so cute your mom was in prison yeah federal prison there it's like martha stewart went there you have like ipads and hair salons and shit they have hair salons in federal prison yeah that's so fucked up because i was literally just listening to taja alexis's podcast and she went to like prison prison and she was telling me how people would just like or not you do not want to go to state prison I'm pretty sure orange is the new orange

is the new black is they like shit on the floor and shit there there's crazy shit that yeah no federal prison it's like like there's like it's like it's a camp she said that some of her friends not her friends but like her prison I don't fucking know gathered their period blood in a bowl and poured it on a bitch in fucking prison i'd be really upset if that happened to me i'd end it all right there there there's nothing i could live for if that happened but uh yeah ipads that's good i mean when i was um in court one time my lawyer told me that if i um went to jail it'd be like fun jail and like federal fun some people like honest to god i think about that all the time. Like if I were like,

like maybe homeless or something, I feel like I would want to go to jail. Right. Just to like have a place to stay. Do you think the jail culture is the same? Imagine having like a forced routine in your life. I honestly need a forced routine. No, jail would literally, jail would save my life if you think about it. Cause I'd be sober. I'd be non-toxic. My problem, I just need someone to force me to not be lazy. I have to tell you a secret. I found out recently that I am, in fact, lazy.

Because I did receive my Lyme results. So Brooke. In the mail. So Brooke. I literally don't have Lyme disease, and I'm just lazy. In the mail. So Brooke. I literally don't have Lyme disease and I'm just lazy. I hate you. You don't understand the cruel. That's so insane.

She's been waiting to tell me this all fucking day. I know. I'm like tearing up. I feel like I offended the Lyme community, but I really thought I was a part of it. I wholeheartedly believed like i i like with every bone in my body i knew that i had lyme disease and i was like like how am i gonna work through this what do you think about potentially just having hypochondria that could be but what what happens is my severe severe iron deficiency does mimic the symptoms of lyme that's so that does wait i have iron deficiency and i also thought of Lyme. So that does.

Wait, I have iron deficiency and I also thought I had Lyme at one point, but in reality we're just like lazy and also with iron deficiency. But I also, the supplements that I was taking, I realized I've, I don't take them enough. So I've had that same bottle for so many years that it's like,

it's like, maybe they don't work anymore. So I ordered new ones and now I'm feeling, I'm feeling like myself again. But you don't have Lyme disease. I'm actually so excited for you to not have Lyme disease because I swear to god it's not like i wanted to have lyme i just wanted an explanation for why i felt so i would literally be like brooke can i borrow your shirt and she'd be like like no you can't wear that shirt it's because i have lyme disease or like hey brooke let's go to dinner no i can't

because i have lyme disease i'm gonna admit i did milk it dry so i do owe you a little bit of an apology oh oh my god i think this is the first time brooke has ever apologized to me on the cancer podcast okay on the general girl you're you better be glad you clarified that when i apologize all the time um we actually took a week off um i took a week off we didn't technically take a week off we just filmed a podcast that tana didn't like very much well we i mean it kind of coincides with why i wanted to take time off even if I liked that one I felt like it'd be too short once we took out all the shit that we couldn't say but not say we went to Miami and we shot on a yacht and shot a yacht cast which is so annoying that all we decided to talk about was my fucking toxic relationship the potential was there but honestly it was it was a little bit

embarrassing I feel like we didn't want the people to see us that way 100% and then of course as soon as we talked about how toxic my relationship had just gotten, I actually ended up finally. That's called manifestation. Breaking up with Chris. We broke up. I'm single. That was the other reason why I kind of took a week off and didn't try to like shoot another

one quick because I just wanted to like try to get back in the right headspace. Yeah, I get that. How are you feeling? How's that? How's that going? We did see him last night. it's really strange um yeah I mean we hadn't seen each other since we broke up and then I finally saw him last night for the first time that's amazing in itself because the we've been we all have been policing bets like what are the odds Chris Miles walks through the door tonight no 100 but I just knew that it

was it's so far gone past the point that if like he walked through the door now I would be like disowned by my friends. Not because of just him, but because it's like, we can't fucking. It's hard too because you live with everybody. Like when I want to sneak around, I can do it and nobody has to. Oh yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, point being, I just kind of, um, as much as I would love to air out the details of our breakup and continue my toxic cycle of posting absolutely everything I fucking do online. I do think that because it's like for real this time and it was actually like hurtful and shitty and shitty for the both of us. You know what I mean? I don't want to really air it out. I will say I am a fucking loyal, sexy icon. And I may or may not have caught this man doing something he shouldn't have been doing. Not his dick wasn't in anything, but it was just

nasty. And I was really fucking pissed. And, and then I got really fucking spiteful, spiteful as fuck as fuck. I actually, um, we were at a party basically. And I, I found out something he did from the person he did it with the girl type of thing whatever happened but it's not again he didn't cheat it was just not a good action and it also the person he used to fuck her before we started dating yeah so there's a lot of like contextual things that contributed to like and i really like her as a friend and i i like her a lot so i don't want to like she's just known for being really crazy and wild in LA. So it was just like a, oh, I don't know, big slap in the face. But I instantly looked at Chris and said, we're done.

And then started hooking up with my other like kind of ex at the party in front of him. Break my heart in 10 pieces. Not Brooke wanting to fuck my literal ex. He's not your ex, first of all. We dated in Australia. But that was it. That was the only time. And it was very quick. And so I don't even to fuck my literal ex. He's not your ex, first of all. We dated in Australia. But that was it. That was the only time. And it was very quick.

And so I don't even really consider him an ex. We should clarify first that I am not trying to date Tana's ex. Oh, no, no, no. He's just so hot. He's so hot. And I feel like it's almost a rite of passage for everybody to get to, like, experience it just once. Well, he is known. He's rumored.

Because he fucks a lot of girls. And, like, so a lot of girls talk about this. is known in la for having like the biggest hacking serious biggest biggest biggest dick in la and that was why i wanted to do it too because i was like i could use a giant horse come on we went out and she was literally in a relationship so i was so excited he's like talking to me he's like he goes tana can i take brooke on a date and she goes i was sick i know i actually said something way worse but yeah actually said something way worse. But you said something way worse. But I'm not going to air you out that way.

That was honestly really nice of you. I was expecting you to fully say what I said, because I stand by it. I would love to, but I don't want to look like I'm a Tana exposer. But I mean, no, you could just know that I had the chance. And it was out there. And I've been wanting to for so long. You should give it a whirl. And then Tana was like, you know what? Actually, if it was any other night in L.A., I for so long you should give it a whirl and then Tana was like you know what actually if it was any other night in LA I would have been like give it

a fucking whirl but because I just found out my boyfriend like fucking did something we just broke up he also was very jealous over this person our entire relationship and I was very jealous over the girl that he did something with that was it was a really perfect like like eye for an eye yeah you know what I mean and i had a dream actually two nights before that that i sucked this guy's dick not my ex but this guy like the other guy that i did suck his dick like later that night so i you know what i mean my my friend was saying this to me the other day that like girls always will like have a dream and then you wake up and you're like my entire life's change i have to do it like it's such a girl thing but i really woke

up and i was like damn i should really suck his dick again. But then I went into the bathroom of the club that we were at and fucked him in the bathroom. She did. And then took him home and fucked him again. Sorry, Chris. So hurtful. I just, I was mad.

I was fucking mad and I had to get it out of my system. Since then, I've been a wholesome virgin, though. That's the only person I've hooked up with since I've been broken up. But it was 30 minutes after your breakup. That so impressive get it out of my system no honestly i love the whole she's agile she is incredible she is a natural born talent i mean i just i was sick i was furious i'm still i get that though like the rage that just like comes over you i i girl i would do anything right you know what i mean and it was just like and i we already

had just been like fighting so much about so much stuff so it's like that was just like i was like oh my god yeah i'm getting on my knees in the middle of this bar i wish i had had a situation like that that's what i should have done it that night at poppy but i didn't 100 speaking of that night at poppy actually we told this story on the last Hannah Brooke cast, right? About Brooke's boo on and off boo thing, hooking up with a girl that we knew. And then I like post her and whatever. Everyone on earth thought it was Alyssa Violet and Sammy Wilk.

They thought the story was about Alyssa Violet and Sammy Wilk. All my comments are like, so Brooke hates Alyssa Violet. All the comments are like, so Brooke's fucking Sammy Wilk. Sammy Wilk. All my comments are like, so Brooke hates Alyssa Violet. All the comments are like, so Brooke's fucking Sammy Wilk. Sammy Wilk is so hot. And trust me, if that were, if that were the guy

we're talking about, I would honestly probably be like, I'd be from the rooftops. But unfortunately it's not. He's like really, really like in deep with like one of my best friends right now.

It's not that deep. Sorry. Oh my God. I'm literally just in like go mode. I've been, I've been bad. You're going to jail i'm sorry with you get it oh my god i'm like um come on over yeah um no but so everyone thought that that story was about alice i wish it was about sammy wilk honestly so hot it's not about um

alissa violet at all it's about this other girl um who are i'm just kidding it's really interesting because this is fucked up to say well tell me if this is fucked up actually let me ask you okay do you ever so i met this girl right that this your story was about kind of on uh it wasn't a double date but it was like we we met up somewhere with a bunch of other people but then like us like, us four were hanging out, and it was me and Chris and this girl that you're talking about and her current boyfriend. Right. And even from the moment I saw him, I was like, I think I love you. You know what I mean about this guy?

Like, I just, and we were, I won't say, did I already say where we were at? No. I won't say where we were at. I know where you were at. Because I don't want to, like, expose it. But, like, him and I were just vibing in that moment, whatever. And so I will, tell me if this is wrong, okay? And like I hate to admit if it's wrong.

I know you know I will. I know you will. I will do this thing where it's like, let's say I meet a girl and a guy and they're either dating or they're breaking up or they're exes or whatever. If I think the guy is hot and the girl is trying to get close to me,

even if I like her and would want to be her friend, I will go out of my way to kind of dodge her and purposefully not get as close. Yeah because if you know that like in the future you have intent at all to fuck her man you don't want to eventually be her friend. Yeah. Yeah so I like from day one have like she'll always ask me to hang out she'll always FaceTime me she'll always do a bunch of shit and I'll like purposefully not engage as much as I would in a normal situation because I've known that I always wanted her man. I don't know. It is wrong. Like I do think it's wrong, but it's like not that wrong. I mean, I just, I, it's not like, it's not like it was my friend and I stopped

being her friend. It's right. Like the, the, where you are right is like purposefully not getting close with her. Cause like, obviously that's, that's going to be a problem in the future. That's like a problem that I'm having right now you know i have like this huge crush on this guy who's like half dating a girl that i'm like well i thought you were gonna full circle it lindsay you have a huge crush on my horse cock ex but continue sorry i wish um but continue but you keep telling me like why would you not just do it and i'm like well it's like awkward because i've been in situations where i was there with both of them and they were together yeah and like that just made like makes me feel guilty because it's like i obviously know about them well i think we all know that you definitely feel more guilt than me

more guilt than the average i feel more guilt than anyone because the guiltiest person i know she like wakes up with guilt for nothing it's so funny and i'm kind of opposite i'm like i don't really give a fuck i have so i'm like the guiltiest person of all time i always feel like i've just killed someone but also to be fair i mean we can attest to this from our story that we said last, the story that you told last week about what she did to you. I don't really think she might be the best friend to me. And I do think he's a good guy. Listen, this is what I'll tell you about her.

This is how I feel. This is my opinion. I feel as though she will do anything to increase her follower account and stay relevant in the social media space right now. And I feel like that's her main priority. I found out some tea about her doing that, actually. Like when she's choosing her friends, that's what she's thinking. So I don't feel like that's like a loyal friend who's just trying to get to know you. Yeah, and honestly, that's sorry.

He's a 10, bro. I got to do what I got to do. And he's hot. And she's dated 17 people since then so i really don't actually think that she cares that much okay honestly i love that entire conversation i feel like fully vindicated so this past week we celebrated two birthdays the first one being hunters happy birthday hunter happy birthday hunter we actually spent the entire yacht cast trying to like vindicate him because brooke and i realized we dug ourselves into a

deep hole yeah it was really like i and I get where it came from because if I had heard that story as like an innocent bystander, I'd be like, wow, that guy's fucking awful. Yeah. But we, yeah. So we're referring to the fact that, um, on the podcast with Lila, we told the story about Hunter that painted him in a very awful light and don't get me wrong. Like it's a true story, but we also played it up a lot it was a true story but we like there's a lot of things that go into that that you don't really think about like first of all all the awful things that we've done to hunter that was like the end and i i guess that sometimes you and i also forget the fact that like a lot of comments kept saying like

so all of their friend group is just them being shitty to each other and they think that's like quirky and cute and i was kind of like well like 10 that's like true i mean like it's like quirky and cute. And I was kind of like, well, like 10%, that's like true. I mean, like, it's like, we're all definitely, you know, we all have moments where we're all a little, you know, forgetful or we fuck something up or we're shitty. And that was- I think all of us have like lapses where we're just like, we think selfishly

and we act selfishly. Yeah. The thing that we did get wrong about that story though, is that he, like, we were like, okay, he got all these people tickets. He got Brianna and he got Nisha tickets and then Robert and all of them bought their own tickets okay I guess fair I guess fair no I'm just kidding but I mean actually like at the end of the day it just it ended up causing a lot of problems because Hunter was literally getting like tens of thousands

of death threats and like well it just it was awful and the way that the Hunter like explained it to me like because I came at him privately and was like like why would you not invite us like that's mean and i want to go obviously p davidson was there i want to go and what he like the way he explained it to me was like how could i possibly invite you and not everybody like if he invited me you'd be mad you didn't get invited if he invited you and i ari would get mad he wasn't invited and it was just like there's too many of us i was honestly just happy as well that I didn't end up going because Monson was there and that would have been the most awkward interaction literally my entire life I love you Monson um right no um but I the point being is it's like we just like we love Hunter

to death and he's our best friend no matter what and we all have moments where we like do things like that I think when he finally comes back on the podcast I should we should just let him tell like eight fucking stories where we sucked so people realize like we all love each other we all have a little lapse now and again and like stop death threatening him but anyways to make up if hunter dies we both die 110 hunter at a birthday party at our house and it was very very very lit it was really fucking fun it was really fun you know the house you have right now i think that's my favorite house so far that you've had four parties particularly because it's

like your last house was just too big where it was like no one could be all like confined in one area yeah or like 500 people would show up because everyone yeah and there was literally like seven floors so like people were in every bedroom every corner of the house and it was like and it was so far up in the hill like Like no one could get there. This house is great because it's like everybody's all in one place. It's a very open. Open like backyard. Yeah.

It was, and it was just an amazing group of people because I feel like when I throw a party for like me or even you or just like more LA people, like everyone comes, but we kind of set this up as like, if you know Hunter come. So it just ended up being like all of our closest friends, some of the dopest people in LA, sexy motherfuckers, so many sexy motherfuckers. I made out with Jeff Wittek at this party. So it just ended up being like all of our closest friends and the dopest people in L.A. Yeah. Sexy motherfuckers. So many sexy motherfuckers.

I made out with Jeff Wittek at this party. That hurts. And the only reason I'm saying that is because we kissed on camera first. He's so hot. And I never thought that would happen. Right. Like I always jokingly flirt with Jeff when I see him. And then he fucking showed up to my. I hate that I'm saying this is a pickle.

Like he's going to watch this clip and never fucking. This is getting clipped off. You're going to be on TikTok pickle Rick talking about Jeff Wooden. No, 100%. I mean, I just never thought Jeff would ever kiss me, let alone multiple times. Can I say that?

I'm like, Jeff, what's going on? Like, you know what I mean? And then he showed up and he was like, I'm not fucking David. I fucking want you. Like he was just being like bold as fuck. And then we kissed on camera. He is.

I love how like straightforward he is. Like he has the best sense of humor in that way like he's just like funny so hot i yeah my love for david might be transferring over to jeff which is kind of good because if you think about it with everything that's happened between them jeff almost needs more love than david yeah i'll save you baby no just me jeff's hot but jeff jeff is too hot like in my opinion like where i would never I know he's like pretty like you know your man is prettier than you he's like that type for sure yeah yeah just like I it almost in my opinion it's like Jeff actually is hot with a good personality so that's like a rare find but I almost feel like those people are reserved for like the Kylie Jenner's

of the world speaking that's actually so true like it's you pick one or the other and I choose personality like a lot of trauma but I also think that's so hot so it's like god that's I love of the world. That's actually so true. Like, you pick one or the other and I choose personality. But I feel like he has like a lot of trauma, but I also think that's so hot. So it's like, God, that's not perfect. I love, yes, I love a little trauma bond.

Speaking of hot and so funny, Pete Davidson, you just brought him up. What about him? I just thought about this and I haven't talked about it at all and I've been getting thousands of tweets

asking my opinion on it. Oh my God, I called you about this yesterday. I forgot. Pete Davidson played Jake Paul on SNL. Who's Jake Paul? Fair fucking point.

I'm the way that like Pete Davidson or Jake Paul could also see this. And I think this is horrible. You are the cutest pickle I ever saw. Well, thank God you think that. I'm also a sloth. You're a hot pickle. I should have been a sloth for Halloween. A slutty sloth played into that joke.

I'm actually just so glad that you didn't. I'm actually very glad I didn't do that as well. That hurts me a lot because the more that Pete Davidson interacts about Jake Paul makes me feel like he has seen some form of inkling of my existence. Because if you're playing someone, you're also researching them. You're like researching their life. If you Google him, like I'm coming up. Like, you know what I mean?

It makes me think. I feel like he would know who you're everywhere i mean one time at mgk's birthday i was like hi and he's like hi tana but i don't think that means fucking any daddy like you know what i mean i'm just saying i think that he definitely has probably seen me in a light like that i've been like like the all chances are just out the window after him playing jake ball on us and now i feel like yeah that was super embarrassing when he married him it's super yeah it's super i know you married him. It's super, yeah. It's super broken. I'm just kidding. I know you don't feel that way, but.

No, I do. I'm getting, I'm trying to, okay. I don't have, I don't even know him like that. I just talk a lot of shit about him because I feel like he was awful to you, but. Fair enough. We see him Logan Paul on this podcast. Speaking of being awful and Hunter's birthday,

not that Hunter was awful, just in tune. But do you know what? I was, I got mad at Hunter again after his birthday, actually. No, but this one, like, I'm wrong here. I just want to tell the story because it's so fucking annoying to me. But it's like, I can't be annoyed because I know I'm wrong. You know what I mean?

What'd you do? So when Chris Miles and I broke up, he left a suitcase of all of his clothes from us being in Miami at my house. And I, I was mad for several, several reasons. And I felt like I had a right to be mad. And unfortunately, when I'm mad, I get a little petty. And so he was kind of asking for his suitcase of all of his stuff back. And I kept saying like, no, no, like you can get it later.

I don't know when you picked that up, but that's been your move for the past like three months is withholding his belongings I think that it's sad because it's like when you think someone's going to abandon you or leave you you like do things to like stop them from that and I and I realize that again no yeah I do get it but it's like but that's when I the the light switch finally flip which is like you don't want to be with someone where you're always afraid that they're gonna like leave you and block you like you know what I mean and I'm not saying that against him i know he has like a lot of like i

have issues too like i'm not saying like that i'm just saying but this one wasn't because i was afraid he was gonna leave it was more so just like have fun with your whores you can get your fucking miami pants back in a month you know what i mean and that was how i really felt and then amari and i were actually going to take all this clothes out fill the suitcase with orbeez and then tell him it was outside in jail and i like I like, I bought the Orbeez. I was like this close. But then I was like, that's a little too far. I didn't do it.

I didn't do it. I got less mad over a couple of days. You know, Amari's still just as mad. I'll get into that in a second. But Hunter, Chris texted Hunter asking for his suitcase back and Hunter being the good fucking guy he is. Hunter also didn't know this was like my whole plan. Left Chris's suitcase outside and honestly good for Hunter.

Very make sure your friends are OK of him. Him and Chris are like great friends. Here's the thing. I feel like when you do something like that, it's like that. That's like implying that you don't think it's really over because that's like that you want to see him again or you want to like have an excuse to see him again. And if you really thought that it was like, OK, this is it, that's over. You would just give a shit back and not care.

You're literally right. And I had to just accept that. And I probably would. It'd probably still be in my fucking closet right now. But I'm glad Hunter did that in hindsight, because we went to Boa for Amari's birthday dinner and he fucking blacked out of his mind, as one does on their birthday. This is like the drunkest Amari's been all year for sure. And then we leave Boa and the paparazzis outside asking me about my relationship and Amari continuously, not once, not twice. Two and a half times.

Two and a half times. Chris Miles is broke. And I'm sitting there drunk being like, I just want to be friends. Like, I think he's a great guy. Like, you know, I just want to move on and like, we'll be friends. Amari comes in, Chris Miles is broke oh my god oh the second it happened i got in the car and i just go

fuck like that's gonna be so fucking bad i mean it's not your fault like it's like you can't be responsible for what someone else is doing drunk but i debated punching him up rossi and stealing his sd card though for sure yeah well it's just like that's like it's a it's a low blow for sure it didn't come from your mouth so it really doesn't matter but like yeah Chris Miles called me the next day utterly so upset he unfollowed Amari and Amari's boyfriend on everything it's so funny too because Amari woke up comes to my room and Amari's mad as fuck and I'm like why are you mad and he's, why the fuck would Chris Miles unfollow me? Like, I know I said that, but I'm like, how are you going to be mad that he's mad when you yelled that he's motherfucking broke to the paparazzi? Yeah, like, it would have been, honestly, that would have been hysterical.

And we would have, like, I would have been so excited about that had it been, like, any other guy you've ever dated. That's so true. But I just think Chris is so, like, he. Like a Brad Sousa is broke. Obviously, he's been, yeah, Brad Sousa sussa is broke babe but still so hot ew i keep i smiles chris miles brad sussa like i chris has done his wrong okay he's not perfect i'm not gonna i'm not here to like make him sound like an angel but out of all the guys you've dated i think chris miles is definitely everyone's favorite all of us saw him last night and all of us were like, you know what he said to Ari?

He goes, he goes, it was actually really sad. He goes, I feel like we got divorced and I have you for the night. Oh, I know. And then he kept saying he'll be like Ari's stepdad and shit. I was like, yeah, stepdad. No, I'm just kidding. We actually had a great night last night. Chris performed a bunch of songs about me.

I avoided. We hosted. I know. I couldn't believe you missed it what i will say is i think baby i was hiding from it see i couldn't have done that though had like you know my little yeah my little guy had been performing i would have been there i would have been there yeah but i mean all of chris's music that he performed was like about me and it was just like i didn't want the crowd to see me like they saw me page kyla ari in the front like why i mean like i support him always you know 100 it's funny because um so last night we went to an event that our friend i should

like preface all of this um that my best friend you're a great friend our best friend diablo was putting on and like ethan performed lomozy performed um comethazine just a bunch of rappers and like that type of like trap vibe, whatever. And Chris was one of the performers. And then I got put on it to host it. And it's funny because we had the baddest scandal all week because I had Diablo make Chris a flyer with his name and me a flyer with my name.

And both of our flyers didn't have each other's names. I heard that you got him removed from the lineup. Well, everyone just like the press. Yeah, like took that and fucking ran with it. Like I was- Okay, yeah, then clarify that I heard that you got him removed from the lineup. Well, everyone just like assumed the press. Yeah. Like took that and fucking ran with it. Like I was. OK, yeah.

Then clarify that because I was like, she's evil. No, no. Everyone was saying that they're like, you're such an asshole. You got him removed from a show he was performing on first, like whatever. And I think Chris thought that, too. No, it was just that at the time I'm now no longer like mad. I do forgive him. But I was like furious at him. And I was like, I'm not going to fucking promote him any further. Like further like yeah i want like my own flyer or whatever but then so then we

all went to the event chris performed i hosted it was so much fucking fun it was a lot of fun i left you know i left so there was a performer on the lineup a guy i talked to kind of at the beginning of quarantine wait i told you about that did you leave to fuck him? No, no, no. Oh, I thought you did. No. I met him last night. I was like, my friend Brooke has a lot of nice things to say about you. That's awful that you said that.

Why? Because, so I, so at the very beginning of quarantine, I saw, honestly, this was like, it's such a, such a thirsty Brooke moment. I watched his genius, like, I watch all the like yellow background genius lyrics explained videos. My favorite is the Gabbie Hanna monster one. You know I'm a monster. What?

Oh, my God. She's so funny. So, I watched his thing, and I was like, you know, he's kind of cute. So, I DM'd him. We started hanging out, and we were hanging out for, like, a while. And he's, like, he was a cool guy. Like, I really liked him, whatever. And.

He looks like, like, Caillou. He does does i hate the way he looks he i well you know what i wish he had face tabs we know by now that looks are not a priority for brooks scofield yeah me either he had a great personality he was like he was just a cool guy he's really talented whatever so i was like all excited and all of a sudden he just like disappears off the face of the earth come to find out he had a full girlfriend that entire time you have to stop pickling doing your thing with your pickle because it's making me I'm actually so sorry I drank a lot of Red Bull and I have anxiety because I'm sober and I got a puff like normally that's my ADHD fidget oh my god I should have noticed I've been like so like my lungs have been so clear this whole time.

Visual listeners. So anyway, he had a secret girlfriend this whole time, but she was long distance. So he like was able to just like get away with that. And that's so shady. OK, so he ended up moving to another state because like property taxes or something like I don't know why. And well, in quarantine, he was just spending so much money to live here. And he went and got this like insane house in another state.

Can't say the state. I don't want to like incriminate him. Yeah. But. Fucking cheater. But. You said he was a lineup. So he gets back.

No, he. So he he's with this girl. Like he has like a whole ass girlfriend. And I'm seeing them together now on Instagram. I'm like. Did you hook up with him? I'm like, I don't think they ever broke up. Did you hook up with him?

It doesn't matter. No. But that's on him no you're not a homewrecker and i'm not how was i to know anyone well who knows that maybe they could have been like on a break or something i don't know but like a few months ago he was in town yeah and he texted me he's like hey i'm in la like what are you doing and i was like let's go to dinner or whatever so we go to dinner and we're on our way to dinner well you went to dinner with this man he is so famous.

Like, is he not afraid of getting like feted out? No, he doesn't. He's not like a, like a paparazzi fan. He has huge songs, but no one knows who he is. Oh, gee. He, I'm in the car. I'm sitting in the car and he gets a text on his little screen. On CarPlay?

On, yeah, on, on the Bluetooth. And it goes like, okay, babe, talk to you later. No, did you say, did you just sit there? Did you say something? I just pretended I didn't see it oh you're you're like you're the bigger person well because like what was i gonna do get out like i just pretended i didn't see it so i was like oh my god so i text jazzy my at the time she was my roommate yeah and i text her and i'm like emergency i need you to get out me out of this situation and jazzy's the best for that shit so she like she literally was like she calls me she's like he just broke up with me she didn't have a boyfriend now she's married yes Jazzy's the

friend who's not married call she calls me and she's like please like she's she pretends sobbing and she's like crying and I'm and I hang up and I'm like and I'm I played it so well I was like oh it's okay like I don't have to go like she'll be fine whatever and he's like wait like I mean she's really sad like whatever and I was like oh yeah you're right okay. Like, I don't have to go. Like, she'll be fine or whatever. And he was like, wait. Like, I mean, she's really sad. Like, whatever. And I was like, oh, yeah, you're right. I should go. So I had him drop me off back at home.

And I just literally, we never even went to dinner or anything. Never. That's actually fucking insane. We were only together for like 30 minutes. But as soon as I saw the text, I was like, I'm not. Like, that's awful. Carplay is the devil, though. I will say that I've had so many of my life's moments.

You're bold as fuck to keep your text coming up on CarPlay if you're going to have some other girl in your car. Like literally this girl lives with him in his house in a whole different state. It's like what do you think? And they're so public on social media so it's like all I have to do is I don't even follow him

really anymore. He like randomly DM'd me that time and he was just like oh let's just grab dinner. And I thought it was like friendly so I was like oh that'd be fine but it was just weird that's honestly really fucking weird but yeah he was there last night i don't even fucking know but i saw oh that sorry that was the most important part of the thing he showed up with her last night she was there yes they were together kissing holding hands and i literally i couldn't even acknowledge him i was literally just like because what was i gonna do i was dressed as like the slittiest powerpuff girl of all time and she was in like a like a like a respectable outfit so i was like i can't say hi to him like they were and i i just looked at him and you don't

know what happened because you didn't like i don't think at the time you even knew who he was but you dragged me past him literally like hit him like i was like oh my god now i feel absolutely horrible for looking at him while his girlfriend was standing next to him and saying my friend brooke has said really great things about you i left the second that they got there because i was like oh is that why you left did you go uh fuck your ex last night i don't really think we even have to talk about that at all it's the way that i i did after seeing ch Chris Miles last night we like all went to a party and then Kyla lives in the same complex as him

and so like we were just like all hanging out for a second and then I like went to bed um you don't know Chris Miles last night how are you gonna talk

shit to me no I no but everyone knew because Amari being the terrible person he has tracked my location and sent it to the group chat like Tana's at

Tana's at his apartment complex the one that we're all in it happened last night oh I was busy and right and it's the group chat. Like Tana's at his apartment complex. The one that we're all in. It happened last night. Oh, I was busy. And right. And it's the way that everyone fucking condemned the absolute shit out of me for even remotely hanging out with him. And then Brooke is just out here.

Oh, my God. It's OK. Whatever. No, I didn't. We all fuck our exes again. I didn't do anything bad. No, it was OK. I love a good revisit.

Listen, he's been blocked for a month. Everybody, everybody's sending me nice messages that i like should be above him and better than him whatever he really you were under him and over him and no i wasn't behind him we're friends we he's unblocked because he really he made a good case and we're friends really stop he really like he made a good case for the 18th time really you're right i sound i sound so stupid it's okay though i love you and obviously who am i to talk about being on and off with anyone so do your you guys i can't help it oh my god this is my first bad bad situation i loved that i loved that sympathy moment. It is. I also forgot to say that Adamari's birthday,

after he was blacked out like this, I'm going out of order, I'm sorry, but after he was so blacked out after the Chris Miles video, he got into the car and we went to fucking hide. And keep in mind, we are there for his birthday. Like he has a table, like a sign coming, like it's his fucking birthday. And that's the only reason any of us are there.

Like I was so over, this was after Hunter's's party after his dinner the night before like everything you know what i mean and so we're there and i'm just like we're at hide whatever amari walks in he's blacked out kyla's new boyfriend kyla's in a relationship kyla has a boyfriend if that's what really gets me is that kyla and page both are in relationships now my assistants and they literally have like two hours per week of time. And I have nothing but time and no one will date me. Well, I mean, at least you have a single friend named Hannah A. Anyway, Kyla's boyfriend was asking Amari to take a shot.

Amari was like, I want a tequila double shot. And it's like, Ty's like, I don't think you should do that. And he's like, no, I want it. He was already like literally speaking Rubik's Cube. No, literally. And keep in mind that like it's his birthday. So obviously everyone's like, well, if he fucking wants it, just fucking have it, whatever. And they go to the bar to take a fucking shot.

And keep in mind, I bought Amari a Chrome Hearts fit and off white shoes for his birthday. And he was wearing it. So fucking expensive. He takes the double shot and then begins projectile vomiting in hide. I'm talking like projectile. And then a bouncer or a server standing in front of him and a bouncer standing next to him. The bouncer is a grown fucking man and goes, ah,

and like backs up and like, like keep in mind, their job is to like secure someone. But it was such a projectile vomit that this grown man bouncer was scared. I'm picturing like pitch perfect. No, listen to this though. And then he gets the tray that they carry drinks out on i'm talking a flat tray the flat and just starts puking onto the flat metal tray and it's like water falling over the tray and then they carry him out he ruins off

white shoes he ruins the chrome heart bit and then i'm just there at the club i'm sorry another one of my exes who i also went home with God. Yeah, the one that I'm like in love with, but can't ever talk about because the situation's too near and dear to my heart. The only person I've ever successfully dated fully secretly to. Wait, you want to know a fun fact? So the other night he was that this guy that tana secretly dated successfully he was there the other night and i was thinking about him and i because i knew him before i knew you really yeah oh yeah and like when i first met you i went to your 21st birthday party like the mtv thing yeah like it's not that we had just met but like we weren't that good of friends at that time

and i dm'd oh i'm sorry it's okay you can It's okay. You can just bleep it. You can just bleep it. You can just bleep it. I DM'd him that night and I go, your friend Hunter is so hot. Do you know that he actually told me that the other night? Yes. My first interaction with Brooke was her trying to get set up with Hunter. That wasn't in my first interaction.

Because he was trying to get set up with Savannah. He also told me that. I know, which just breaks my heart now. I know. But like, come on. If I married him. Savannah's for everybody. If I married him just breaks my heart now I know but like come on if I married him everybody if I married him in 10 years when it's time to settle down he's not like he's not in the public eye he just like does stocks and like does his own little thing and whatever if I fucking married him in 10 years I would he's like my best friend he's my favorite

person it's ridiculous and I want to say more things that happened but that's all I can you can't but I just thought that was the funniest thing because I literally the first interaction like I was literally like why why would you not introduce me to hunter he's so hot so fucking and now it's just so funny because it's like yeah speaking of keeping things off the internet i've been off the internet for eight months and i came back today yay congratulations it's the only thing i want she for. She's a YouTube superstar. I'm actually like, it's that posting a YouTube video today

is like the happiest I've been doing anything in fucking eight months. I feel like it's kind of one of those things where it's like you go, you go a while and you forget

that it makes you happy. So then when you do it, you're like, oh my God. Yeah. And I was just so depressed that it's like, you know,

when you're so depressed, you can't do fucking anything that you love. And I didn't want to like, well, it's like forced when you're that, like when you're

in a bad place, it's like, okay, like what am I you're in a bad place it's like okay like what am i gonna do pretend to be like like funny and not be exactly and especially like it's one thing on tiktok and shit but i'd like i was saying this in the video it's like short form but like when your videos are always like really long like actual and everyone knows into like your day in like yeah the top comment was so sad too today it was like she finally doesn't have that look in her eyes like where she's just like glazed over and not there and like hates i know you know i read a comment well i read a comment they were talking about how on the podcast we look like or like we're like a little slow motion i'm like sorry we drink a lot it's i've done so many things to my

brain in this life it isn't i promise but it does make me happy because like that's i feel like that's like old school tana like you being like really like like energetic. Yeah. Super high energy. Like I see all the you're like my whole for you page. And it's like like you like old Tana being like and like. Yeah. It's like crazy.

I know. I said that in the video, too. I always see videos of me just like like being so happy and young on YouTube. And I remember really thinking like, fuck, I don't ever want to lose that person again. So to like be back there means so much to me. It's funny we're talking about being high energy where we're both just dead.

We are a pickle and I'm a jewel. Yeah, no, I'm, last night was just till like 1 a.m. and then I had like an early morning meeting today. I went to bed at 8 a.m. You rode your ex's dick until 8 a.m.

No, no, no, we watched movies. Right. We did. I could tell you every movie we watched. If I make a couple up. No, really. I actually didn't.

I really was like, we watched like Dune. But with that being said, also back on YouTube, I came back because a bunch of weird shit's been happening lately where I feel like my stalker's back and I kind of went into that shit. And it's funny because the other night at dinner, Brooks, I was like, I think my stalker's back and I kind of went into that shit. And it's funny because the other night at dinner, Brooks, I was like, I think my stalker's back. And what'd you say? You said my grandma said that when she was on drugs.

Okay. No, well, I had, no, no, she was joking. I was. Well, she really did say that. That's fair. I mean, I have a confirmed stalker, I promise. And so all this stuff has been happening where I felt like my stalker was back. I actually this stuff has been happening where um i felt like my

stalker was back i actually said his name his real name in my youtube video because i like feel that that was crazy i got a lot of dms about that today i guess i think people found his like new twitter or something i want to see if it's real so yeah if i die it's at the hands of his only likes are your tweets oh my god i wonder if it's really him henderson or nevada that's where i'm from hey he is from there he's in my second grade class but i also don't believe it he's like tweeter 506 no but his twitters have always been like super cryptic and not his name so i don't think people could ever ever ever find it and he would like a bunch of other stuff too i would stalk it all the time but he deleted them recently just as all this weird shit started happening to me which was so

weird because i hadn't posted about it yet and he deleted them just as the weird shit was happening but i said in the entire video that i thought per chance like i'm i'm not confirming if i think all this weird shit is my stalker but it just like kind of points but it could be a ghost vibe a haunted vibe and then i found out yesterday that a 102 year old woman died in my house the last person to live there well not my house but she lived on the property in a house they tore it down died in my house. The last person to live there. Well, not my house, but she lived on the property in a house. They tore it down and built my house. Yeah, she died. They tore her house down and then they rebuilt.

That's why her house doesn't fit into her neighborhood at all. Just like... My house sticks out like a sore thumb in the neighborhood entirely. But I mean, like, it's... But... If I was a ghost,

I would be fucking pissed if I died and my house got torn down. She fucking pissed. Yeah, but she's not. She's not mad at you. She's not. You didn't tear her house. But I don't want to live with an angry ghost. She's not angry. She's just disappointed.

Paige, benefit of the doubt broke over here. See, I have like, for some reason, this sounds so stupid. You're a devil's advocate. Well, no, like ghosts are like, most ghosts i feel like would be like happy or like they're not me like what are the odds that your ghost happened to be like a malicious well i lied was written on my shower confirm that no one else did it you did lie you totally wrote that i do lie sometimes but i did not write that and it was confirmed that no one else fucking did it so it's very weird to me it's also page came in the house the other day alone and she heard whistling upstairs like dead

as day that's creepy and then she like and then she left like no one was home we were she knew where all of us were hell and then she left and she told lila and she begged lila not to tell me because she was so scared that she felt like her being that scared would make me so scared and it's completely true last night i slept at kyla's apartment tonight who knows we're all fucking sleep at this point I'm just like, I have an empty bedroom. Miss you, Jazzy. I will literally fucking sleep.

They're like, I'm scared to sleep in my own house. It's so fucking creepy. It's ridiculous. But I mean, whatever. Whatever. It's either a stalker or a ghost. Both are great things

to be happening. I'd rather have a ghost than a stalker by far. You know what's crazy? What? You'd rather have a stalker than a ghost? Maybe.

No, I mean, I guess a ghost is better because I know they can't kill me. A ghost can't do as much like physical. Yeah, I know. A stalker is way stalker than a ghost? Maybe. No, I mean, I guess a ghost is better because I know they can't kill me. A ghost can't do as much like physical. Yeah. I know. A stalker is way scarier than a ghost. I'm just used to having a stalker since like second grade and paranormal shit actually

scares me. I really feel bad for you for that one. It's shitty. It's like, think about it from second grade and now it's like all I've ever really known is William. I love being able to say his name. It's so weird. Hey, William.

Hey. No, don't do that. Okay, sorry. Take it back. Who's changing chris miles's tattoo to katana oh my god chris miles actually fully um we went back and forth and when he first found out that i hooked up with my ex that night he was like i'm fucking covering the tattoo fuck you da da da and then honestly kind of adorable i think it's like it it's cute. Like when he finally realized that we might actually be broken up forever,

he texts me this whole paragraph and then ends it with, and I'm keeping the tattoo. Like maybe I'll need it in the future. And a bunch of shit like that. And I literally was crying. He said something last night along the lines of like, we need this break. I'm like, baby, it's not a break. But it does make me feel bad.

What I want from you you guys so like more than anything is for you to guys be like for you guys to actually be able to be friends like but think about all my exes that are my friends i always hook up with them yeah it is a good point that you're making right now because there's no such thing it's just being friends with you like at all because i and i don't even know that line like i already fucked my friend so it's like there is if you're with someone new like I feel like if I were like with like really like actually like involved with someone else I wouldn't be still

like hooking up with what's his name but I guess that's true yeah Brooke I really we should do a bachelorette for Brooke or like a speed dating on the please you guys I really need I want her to be over him so bad so I feel like we're gonna wrap this up soon because we have a lot of Halloweening to do last night was really fun being Powerpuff Girls.

By far our sluttiest costume. All of our like pussy lips were out. So I'm honestly glad that the sluttiest costume was like at that event because I don't want to be around like anyone like that. I want to like date me and be like that fucking naked. No, I was on stage hosting this event in that. And I several, several fans showed me videos of like my literal butthole like it was like it was it was definitely intense um but i love slutty costumes like i'll take it

as far as possible i loved our costumes last night i thought that was so we're matching all week we're being i know we are tonight we're being barbie i have to be blonde again i'm gonna throw it back to mindy times i'm actually so excited for you to be fucking blonde with me though that's really i know i'm going to pick up a full lace front from lila i'm carrying around a barbie box tonight she's gonna i can't even be around her i know this is gonna be so humiliating because i know she's gonna be knocking people out left and right like she's wearing a but like a like kylie jenner's like barbie it's huge like you have to hold it with both hands it's like metal poles it's literally so obnoxious and like imagine like people who just walk around with like wings like ruin parties for people no it's

last night people with wings i kept seeing them like hit everyone i don't know what to do about it i think i'm gonna end up taking photos and i think you take photos with the box but just make sure you have a good barbie outfit otherwise like where it's like obvious that you're barbie i think it won't be obvious but i'm just gonna be a pink slut yeah that's fine you're gonna be obvious it's gonna be obvious you know honestly i'm gonna be with you and i'm gonna be blonde so we're both gonna be it's It's going to be obvious. It'll look like we're Barbies. I guess that's true.

Because I mean, I cannot carry on this box all night. I don't want to be blonde at all. You can't hook up with anyone in the box. You can't take shots in the box. You can't really smoke. Well, imagine me like getting home with some guy tonight and having to take off a full wig. That's so embarrassing. That's so much less embarrassing than saying like, I'm sorry, I'm in my box.

What do you mean? that's being in a box is not embarrassing it's very covid safe though so that's good um but um and then wednesday we're being my favorite fucking costume on this planet or thursday is wednesday that's gonna i'm that's your favorite costume it's my least favorite costume really well just because i don't really like have it together yet so but i just love the i love what it is we're being Hannah Montana and Miley Stewart and I am so it is going to be cute we're driving to Malibu to the actual Hannah Montana house to shoot it

are they going to let us do that people do it all the time on TikTok like it's definitely like a trespassy vibe but like I'm here for it if my Instagram looks great I will trespass for it you know okay I think it's a little strange because I dated her sister and I think her sister is going to have I do think about's a little strange because i dated her sister and i think her sister is gonna have i do think about that a little bit because like i remember last year you got to be

like kim and who were you in paris with noah and now this year and kim acknowledged it but like if miley were to see this one she'd be like huh i mean miley always like she just sent me a package she like acknowledges me she's really nice to me she's she's like my like like jesus i mean yeah she was always my idol growing up which was definitely made it strange when i like fell in love with her sister um but like uh it's an iconic costume i could see it being weird though i could definitely see getting like a noah text do you think that she's gonna be like bitch what the fuck it's the way that noah's also gonna see this and i'm dressed as a pickle this is the worst episode to like reference but you look like the cutest pickle

it's just i appreciate it but there's nothing about your ex seeing you dressed as a pickle that's enticing yeah it is she's gonna think you're quirky super fucking quirky um but noah yeah i'm definitely a little nervous for that reaction but i am really excited for this and then what else are we being together i think think that's all. Is that all? We were going to be the Lizzie McGuire, the duo. I know, but we didn't figure it out. Yeah, I just felt like Lizzie and Lizzie and Hannah and Miley looked the same. Like, you know, Lizzie and Lizzie at the end of the movie

when one of them's brunette and one's blonde. My favorite internet moment I keep referencing, oh, no, I referenced Gabby Hannah, but it was when Trisha Paytas did that entire music video and she played both. She's such an icon. I would have her back on the podcast with you. I would love to she just had Jordan Belfort on her how do we get him I would just love you he loves me he's our favorite movie um and I really

want to have him on the podcast so I'm about to ask him because he's just a fucking living legend um but it's funny because the only clip I saw this isn't funny it was just like so trisha um was her and jordan belfort sitting there and it's just it's clipped so i don't know the context but it's her going yeah and then everyone called me ableist for making fun of his Tourette's but i really wasn't and like and jordan belfort just like see that like wait i side note people have been commenting on our podcast about me having Tourette's. They're like, Brooke makes me feel better about having Tourette's. I don't have Tourette's. I don't even have Tourette's. That's not funny.

I feel like we're laughing at Tourette's. No, it's not. But it made me laugh kind of because it was like, do I? But I don't think I do. You know, when I was younger, actually, they did think I had Tourette's because I couldn't stop going all the time. Oh, I wonder if that is. But then I just stopped.

I do do like weird stuff all the time, but I don't think i have Tourette's i think i'm just quirky yo my old manager whenever i would say something horrible he would just say Tourette's that's actually kind of fucked up should i i'm living it in fucking i should go literally like install a wig so i gotta go and i feel like we just delved into everything going on in our lives this week and I'm just so dead and a lot of this topic was definitely the reason I took a break last week uh so I mean we might do a little bit of a shorter podcast today but thank you guys for loving us and especially loving us together like just you guys love a good Tana Brooke show so I appreciate it we love us together too you dig next week we are coming back to you hot with a bunch of incredible guests so I'm excited to get back on some crazy shit.

But today was just a chill little Halloween day where Brooke's going to jail. And I'm a pickle. I'm going to jail for my actions. All right. I'm going to go get paparazzi that I ordered, just like all your other favorite celebrities. All right. And then I'm going to put all my ex's penises in my holes. And then I'll probably end up at Chris Miles's house.

And Brooke will end up at the guy's house that she hooked up with last night. We love you so much. Thank you for fucking listening to Cancel. Bye. Tanimusha is cancelled. A DWE Talent Production.