Castle Super Beast - CSB 043: S-Rank Your Mother's Corpse For America

Episode Date: November 12, 2019

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps WHAT IS DEATH STRANDING EVEN. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Death Stranding Apocalyptica - Path (16-bit Style Remix) -- Go to http://bombas.com/superbeast TODAY, and get 20% off your first purchase. -- Go to http://mrsfields.com and enter promo code SUPERBEAST to get 20% of your entire order. -- Go to http://honeybook.com/superbeast for 50% off your first year. Wattam launches December 17 Cyber Troopers Virtual-On Masterpiece 1995~2001 China imposes online gaming curfews for kids to "prevent addiction" In under a year, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the best-selling fighting game of all time, beating nearly three decades of Street Fighter II history Inside FIFA's "dodging Discord" scandal New photos reveal Universal Studios Japan's under-construction Super Nintendo World

music music music music music music what's up hey man

so we're going with we're going with s-rank your mom's burning corpse to save America for America for America for America s-rank your mother's burning corpse for America that's the podcast titled this week

I came in begging woolly to do it and he said I already thought of that that literally already happened we hit the exact same mark the exact same point just yeah that's

the fuck's that about well we know what it's about you're carrying the corpse of America yes embodied by your mom don't fall over don't tip over don't hold those shoulder buttons

don't do it don't hear that crunching noise so we're just going to talk about let's say the first couple hours of Death Stranding anything you would sit down and that's all I got yeah all I got is the first loop

yeah the first well there's two loops yeah no you got the first loop there and back right Death Stranding came out if you don't know I don't believe you

because it's literally all anyone is talking about Koji Town there's a fun quote from Kojima today that I think was translated badly which is Americans don't like Death Stranding as much because it is not a first person shooter we aim higher

or some shit like that did he say something like that? he did that's curious I didn't know he said that which comes off like you guys just don't get my my arts

I did not hear about that but there is the thing we're only going to again spoilers wise I'm talking two hours first two hours two hours

yeah exactly so but I actually get what he's saying because the game is totally having a way more divided opinion in North America than it is elsewhere yes it is elsewhere everybody's like wow this is great and out here

Canada and America specifically there is the biggest divide I have ever seen of what is this pretentious fucking garbage versus oh my god this is like the Mona Lisa dripped into my balls

like it is it is so absurd it is so dumb well what is Death Stranding? Death Stranding is what happens when you give an artist all the money in the world all the time in the world and zero boundaries

do whatever you want we don't care as well as access to your favorite Hollywood stars and starlets and you give them you give them half of the horizon zero on team for engine shit yeah so now that it's here and like

I still don't know if okay my impression of that first two hours is that like that could be the gameplay loop that is the gameplay loop but everyone has been saying that it is the gameplay loop that is

right right so what you see in that first two hours is the basis that's the loop that's it you go and you come and you go and you come stuff might be in the way right

and that stuff may range from a big pissy ghost whale to a slightly steeper than average incline so video game equals like

third person controlling your character moving throughout the environment the vast majority occasionally cutscene the vast vast vast majority of Death Stranding is holding a variation of the top 180 degrees of your analog stick and occasionally hitting a trigger or the other trigger

or both triggers to not tip your ass over or that other trigger that tells you whether that terrain is red or green or yellow or yellow the always unknown yellow occasionally

you will hit a button to pet your BB so I feel stupid almost thinking about times when I was like man

this game has this third person shooter or this third person action game we've got this type of like tumble and roll but we don't have like a dive right

or you have like the ability to aim down the sights and you can like you can switch shoulders in some games there's the games that allow you to aim down your scope and then you hit a button to aim down the 45 degree angle iron sights that are built into like the side of an MP5 that's a nice feature

or little things like okay how does this handle stealth do you stick to a wall and then you have to press a button to unstick or is it holding back up on the wall or is it just you kind of crouch and that's good enough and we get into literally

weak long arguments about the intricacies listen you have to stick to the wall what is this the PS1 nah but if you're not pressing a button to stay on the wall then you can do so much more because you hold the button you hold X and you're on the wall and then you can use the stick to like

do all kinds of crazy peeking around the corner and aiming blind like the amount of arguing over mechanical complexity mechanical idiosyncrasies right like the tiniest detail figuring out how to make big boss drop on the ground

and ground zeros and roll around yeah to drop the fucking patch or the stuck on his back where they get to hold a bunch of buttons and go like yeah okay wow wow you can really do a whole bunch like all of that I feel stupid

for even like having those kinds of debates when you can have a game that is really just you want to walk over there do it here's a rope you get a ladder okay scary time yeah

it's here comes the scary time you want your stealth gameplay here you go here's stealth against things you can't see that occupy no physical space and barely move but footprints indicate where they handprints indicate where they are

and you can pulse them kinda um yeah man so but here's the thing like this is really really putting to that all that to the test because you're like this very if Kojima wanted to this could have been a

a David Cage game yeah just been head on foot like weird ass story narrative creepiness hit the button and guess what

that narrative is super weird and strange enough that you want to know why it's happening I feel like we should dissect two things one is pure gameplay can talk sure

and then after that we can talk about the game's tone and the way it presents its story sure because that is a whole different thing that I have a lot of very like energetic things to say about

yeah now I know what I bought in for yeah you bought in for that shit I bought in for the man floating away who decides that he needs to stab himself to death before they get hit but woolly we all know that you also

bought in for hello as a tweet going around has shown the Kojima style of character who are you I'm corn dog man I love corn dogs

and love to make corn dogs really corn dogs yes corn dogs proceeds to give you a 15 minute spiel about the history of corn dogs in America that's also what you bought in for and I know it

because I didn't even blink when Guillermo del Toro walks up to me and goes I am dead man because I used to be a coroner and those are dead people and I'm a man so I'm dead man

and I went yeah that's about right ultimately that still that still fits into that part of things it sure does the lore as you as you would also fuck you Guillermo yeah

motherfucker you might be alright but you would give me some reasons to shake my fist at you nice and early well luckily it's not his voice yeah but uh like god damn it

like I'm like I literally am like I start trashing his movies and I'm like I don't want to trash your movies but why are you such an asshole right now fuck you god damn it no yeah dead man is a jerk

yeah a little bit yeah so yeah hold up on that stick hold up on the stick hold the shoulder buttons tighten up your grip thank god it's not twist the controller thank the lore

I was really worried while I was doing there was only one mechanic in the whole game that uses it and it's rock your bb sure but I was getting when it said like hold your buttons

to like align left and right I was getting I was a little bit worried it was gonna be astral chaining me to do a little tilty tilt and I'm like thank god it's not it's not

I don't want it but um yeah like I really think that like I guess he decide like when Kojima decides that he's come up with a theme

and that that theme has like multiple ways to express itself he cannot think of anything else Kojima has the most laser focused like expression of a given concept

I've ever seen in this game to the public you wanna talk about some strands everyone anyone out there right would be like okay

you can really there's subtle ways to reinforce your theme and then there's the other one whatever the fuck is happening here where not only are we saying

the word strand every other sentence it's so it's stupid it's literally the name of the character and it's like when it's not your name

then your other name is Porter Bridges and I'm like why is Sam called Sam Porter Bridges Woolly because he's porting Bridges no because he's a porter

and he works for Bridges even though he guessed that name before he works for Bridges as a porter hey Woolly

what's the name of the founder of Bridges is her name Bridget and shall we talk about president strand and the nature of the term strand stranding

something that caught me real early that blew me away is the girl's name is Amelie right when they talk about her becoming the president her name is

Samantha America Strand that's not her name they just decide your name will be America now yeah it was an Amelia I was like why is it an Amelia

why is it Emily yeah but yes Samantha America Strand uh yes who's also a Sam by the way

and so one might think that it is repeating itself because everything is stranded together you have not

you have not seen shit yet when once you start to talk to people about the word chiral

yes you are going to start using your fucking mind yeah because I don't know if you know this Woolly but chiral

is a Greek word that can mean a symmetry like your hands stacked on top of each other

but it also means hand and you know what the BT's are they're hands and when the BT's die do you know what they do

they make hand crystals that are hands because we need to clasp hands together to unite it's oh my god

it never stops it literally never stops it is the most on the nose shit ever it is constant

and the connecting of things via knot city knots and knots cities are knots they're places where

many strands tie together much like umbilical cords which we see connected to the floating BT's and to your

BB which is connected to its still mother well you watched it's just you watched

Garth Marengi's Dark Place no you didn't? no well there is you should there is a there's a quote in there

where he's talking about other writers and he says I know writers other writers who use subtext and they're cowards

yeah I know the screenshot there could not be less under the surface it's I'm actually shocked in the sense that

Kojima has always overplayed some aspects of his hand yes but he always kept some yeah and I'm assuming there are

some being kept for what comes after the 30 hour march but when you see them they're not like given to you they're not like trickled out

or like oh that's a secret it's like hey motherfucker guess what the beaches where all life exists and it's there's a fucking

conversation in this game in which a character literally looks at you the camera sorry for hitting the mic guys where they go

isn't it funny how strand could also mean stranded but connection and also talks yes

exactly and stranding is right when things go on a beach exactly and they're on a beach when they're talking and you're like

oh my god and and I honestly wonder if this like this fascination with all the connection

and this hard like this serving of what your your metaphor is outright without anything to hide it no

like a metaphor needs a bush to hide behind yeah and here this is a flat ass parking lot and Kojima's trying to hide behind bushes

that don't exist and I'm wondering like could this have possibly been the result of once again non-native speaker being fascinated

by language no well he is he's fascinated by language and he loves to name his characters all sorts of stuff

that is like kinda like goofy you know he's got big boss and liquid all that fucking stupid shit right

this is the height of the stupid fucking shit um hey woolly hey woolly what's the disease that sam has why is it called

dooms I don't know yet me neither okay what's special about sam that makes him he's a

repatriate he's a repatriate uh-huh uh-huh yeah it's something to do with the beach and ghost and shit

but you know what you know what it really means oh you're just gonna repatriate america and it's like there's like every time

you encounter a new part of the theme it's not like it it's it's every every scene in this game

is autacon standing over sniper wolf's corpse talking about like love and war and shit and just being like the most

like just talking it at you you also watch out for the homo demons there are also dude like you get

fucking they're the opposite of homo sapiens yeah cause they're demons they've lost their humanity probably I don't know you'll see

guess what you're right you nailed it um I don't know and then you get like you get little interviews

like you'll get you'll get like here's a page of text from heartman heartman will write you it's not a codec call it's like it's a fucking

it's a page of text and it's hey do you know about egyptians and how they used to build pyramids that's about death and about trying to beat death

isn't that crazy do you remember last week when I talked about I don't understand highlighting there's fucking in-game highlighting from what the important bit that's amazing

and there's no codec calls none because they give I have like a straight up 50 pages of text in this game now just to read

because there's too much okay it's there's so much there's homework I bet they couldn't fucking literally pay

the actors to say all of it yeah take this home and do your homework kids that's fair okay and it's all just like oh here

here here's the god forbid you answer simple questions like yeah what's a BT or what's the death stranding

timefall that gets explained very explicitly okay I mean we know what it is we don't know how it is and that remains yeah they break down

like hey this is why it turns into regular water after it hits something after it's time shit happens turns right back into regular water now that's I was curious about that

because otherwise the world would be over but that's what I was yeah exactly and you know a million other little variations of that but while you're at that

let's have some fun hey goober fucking chug that monster hit that monster hit that mirror you looking at yourself oh there he is bang

hey did you know if you drink three full cans of monster you can get a 25% boost to your stamina whoa despite the fact that that would fucking

kill you ah it's rad bro put those shades on hey woolly I know what you're excited for norman redis's ride now playing on AMC don't miss it

don't miss it do you want to sit down to peer you want to stand up you want what no woolly do you want to sit down to take a shit so that the motorcycle rev noise sounds like him

dropping fat dukey I mean sure you can do it that way too if you want but either way fun stuff check out your collection of toys did you drink from the canteen

yeah did it not blow you away that there was monster inside the canteen the canteen the canteen of water turns water into monster energy drink

into monster energy drink yeah it's more effective than regular hydration yeah so this is the most out of control so fucking off the rails

video game that's ever been what can be said about the human condition when monster energy drink must be chugged the monster placement is so you can't sip it

it's so you can't sip it you're gummin' it you gotta crack that can and fucking beast it back the best part is the very first time you drink the monster

norman always does the fucking he drinks the whole can in one and he like almost falls over and you see his like destroyed bloody feet that he's ignoring to drink the monster

you can't get it in him fast enough you can't even choose again you can't choose your enthusiasm for the drinking of the monster you must absolutely shotgun it it's the most important thing

I'm hoping that the third time in a row that you just get the knife out and just slit the bottom and just fucking it's the same animation every time same animation I really want that you know

and then as we're done with that let's go into the nature of using this baby as a tool as a piece of equipment just not even and then how fucking dark that is but we'll interrupt that

with your energy drink the bit everything about BB in the early game is nightmarish and then the off hand remark

oh yeah no no BB's from like a brain dead pregnancy machine person we just we just take the babies out of the brain dead women's and jam them in these two's

the term still mothers see I was going to say that but I want to make it very clear what it actually is because still mothers the word they invent so they don't have to take about taking the comb of women's babies

which is a thing like it's a fucking theme like hey isn't that the darkest thing ever yes it is again you want to talk about

your parking lot with no bushes to hide behind first thing that happens in the game is you meet the president of the united states the first female president

and the last one and she is dying of cancer that's right go america and you walk in and she's got all the strands reaching from the ceiling

well there certainly is that part of it too and they're black strands which means they're death so like you walk into the oval office and america is dying and then america reaches out to you

but you recoil from america because don't touch me but then america crawls towards you in an identically shot scene to the monster attack we saw half an hour earlier and even leaves the black hand prints on our main character

but don't touch me though don't touch me though mom you know this better than anybody mom don't fucking touch me mom don't do it sis will you do it

don't touch me stop it oh i guess she's dead die hard man is the most soulless fucking mother fucker in the universe i guess you work for us now what will look at your mom's corpse hand on your hand

that's a contract is he the one with the amazing backstory we read about not too long ago which one's that with the family that he's searching for no that's heart man heart man never mind okay die hard man is called die hard man

because he's a repatriate okay so he dies hard alright done and done done he's got the mask yep it's a very cool mask

it's a ludens mask which is extra confusing when you discovered that ludens is a novelty toy in the Death Stranding universe yeah yeah i don't know if you were able to tell

but the BB container has a ludens charm hanging off of it i didn't see that it does i saw me some mgs1 fucking fonts all over the place yes you did

that thing is unescapable inescapable whatever it is it is there the game is

it is the fucking most out there game i've ever seen that has the most money put into it and yet would you have asked for anything else no i was talking with a friend of mine

and it's like this is like a weird russian indie developer was just given 300 million dollars and all the celebrities they wanted is Death Stranding not almost exactly what was promised

it is exactly what was promised fucking nothing and everything it's it it like i'm playing it and i'm telling it to shut up

yeah that's about right that's about right no this is this is what i asked for now the only thing that remains it will be

when we get to that end how much will i actually understand and how much will be like fuck you go do more i cited the sources in the documents

go read those books or will it just be uh glad you enjoyed it what about the fuck you go hold your friends' hands and reconnect

hey family send those yeah family go send those likes out how many times how many friends

are you liking their content as they post it every day it makes people feel good i thought hideo kojima of all people would be the most

like man fuck this social media stuff it ain't real let's go hang out in real life no woolly right

facebook likes are the and twitter mentions the currency the currency okay so this is it's crazy to me

the game's theme actually starts to fall apart under this well because go back to Sons of Liberty and all those other days of like the warning of the future

right and it always felt like every one of those games or at the very least the first four were about a lot of things

but somewhere in the many things they were about there was a things used to be real and now they're less real

things are becoming fake and things are becoming copies of what was real and those copies are now digital copies and the authenticity

of those digital copies is often times probably inferior to their they're stealing your humanity away from you right which is a big theme

in Death Stranding things were one way and now they're becoming the other way right so in that same like

the harkening to the old I would have just assumed that Hideo would have been like turn that phone off go outside get some sunlight with your book tie that's right

and then make friends in the park well woolly this is where the game's theme starts to rapidly fall apart because your strength fall apart

or tie together oh no no it's so weird because it's like the games in the in-world universe is governed by likes

yes to a I'm dead serious they invent so one of the first thing you're gonna do once you get back to base is deliver some oxytocin

yes right because people need fucking drugs yes and then you'll learn that there's a different type of toacin

lyxin it's the chemical that releases in your brain when you get likes and that's how we're gonna connect because it feels good to get likes and you know what woolly

woolly you know what did you know did you know lyxin lyxin come on yeah

did you know that there are people out there that used to be porters but they fell on hard times because they didn't have a place in society so they became crazed

due to their lack of lyxin so they started to steal other people's packages so they could deliver them so they could get likes and that's the danger of social media when you're too into

getting likes you can go crazy and do things just for the attention that's the primary antagonist force in the game black mirror yeah there's an episode about it

I'm seeing everybody in our chat just start screaming shut up I can't like like what I have not hit that yet you'll get there oh okay

woolly you will get there in an hour okay well the point I'm at is the one where you do very very important tasks very important and then the reward screen says

everybody liked that you did that task so it's fascinating because I was convinced that you would hate this game because the game is very weird like there's not a lot of mechanical complexity to actually doing the tasks all the mechanical complexity

is before and afterwards they're what did you bring what's the status of your boots how many ladders do you have oh I fucking shit like that turning into a mecca made of ladders

is super fun and then the end is a pornographic level of results given to you upon the end of the delivery

yeah I was I stared at that briefing screen for a second and I was parsing which parts of the screen were meant to be read by the player as information and which parts were meant to just be future complexity jargon graphics and you can't tell

it's all because there's like the screen there's like maybe like 15 different sections full of text in certain screens but some of it's not meant to be read yeah some of it's just meant to be the chiral network status

whatever yeah exactly but some of it's real and some of it matters yeah and you're like okay you know and there's a lot of bars filling up for every possible condition time state of every piece of every single parcel

has a ranking associated with it every piece of parcel if you don't smash that like button I will die please smash that button so the part of the game that you haven't gotten yet

which is literally the next time you sit down to play at Wolves is building structures for other people building a mailbox which has a fucking absurdly complex system

in which items okay let me let me let me break this down for you because I literally just understood it last night fucking around okay you're doing a walk-in mission from somewhere right you fucking get hit by some bullshit or fall down whatever

and the bullshit falls off your back and onto the ground if you get far enough away from it it will literally evaporate from your world and dump itself into the play session of a hundred other people if they pick it up they can either deliver it

which will give you likes and technically complete part of that mission for you and the only thing they get out of it is likes from the beat from the fucking bridge's network part of the fucking

end result screen or they can just pick it up in a little post box so that somebody else can come along to that post box look and go oh there's mission critical items in here that somebody failed to deliver I could deliver them

see back in a land known as Anor Londo likes would heal you or give you some juice and that was that they would just one to one

somebody liked what you said you get a heal hey woolly you want to talk about likes I got to a new level in my likes the other day and I unlocked the ability to form strand contracts

that means when I go up to somebody's post box or ladder or bridge I can look at them go wow this guy gets a lot of likes I want to form a packed a strand contract with them so that they show up more often in my game and I show up more often in their game

and you know what woolly when you do that when you like that person's things in the future they get more likes wow even more because I saw a bridge that Ivan made and I was like hey thanks Ivan and then while I was crossing it I smashed the like button

oh did you turn off the spoiler mode there's an option in the yeah no spoilers are on but there was a ladder just lying across oh ladder okay excuse me there's a ladder that's important because there's literal bridges okay sorry sorry there's a ladder that was bridging across whatever

and as I was crossing the bridge the ladder I just hit the like button and I was like you can hit it again and I was like what you can mash the fuck out and I did and then I was like oh too many and then I was like yeah you used up all your likes for the day or for the whatever each item

has a cool down for likes I can't like it too much and it's funny because I thought liking one thing and then the nature of it is that well I'm one person and I like this one thing and giving people more than one ability to like the same thing

kind of devalues the value of each individual like yes it does but you know what it does do it lets you walk past a real for real bridge across a river that has 28,000 likes on it because hey guess what you built this

in the fucking perfect spot that makes everybody's life way easier so is this chapter 3 piece maybe so you haven't got you right now you've seen ladders

and ropes yes they're very useful the ropes especially the ropes saved my life the ropes are a big fucking deal there was a rope that literally saved my life as a desire to help other players but also to get likes

it's the persona problem are you a sociopath are you doing it for the right reasons after I beat a tough area and climbed through it I said you know what I have an extra climbing rope and then toss the fucking thing behind me and went now someone else

will not have to climb this bullshit they can just use my climbing rope where the end of the rope is hanging yeah well the ropes are fucking crazy long they're really long but like if the rope is hanging on the wrong side for example I took one up

and I dropped it off where I got off so I think that's fine I haven't found any that have been on the wrong side and you know so the game has a built if you looked in the option there's a spoiler mode

I turned it off whatever the default is if it's protection so what that is is that it won't show you infrastructure that you don't have the ability to build yet which is important because as once I discovered

the ability to build a bridge the fucking game world just exploded with fucking bridges and the infrastructure shit went crazy and that's like so walking somewhere and loading up your fucking bullshit

with ladders that's like half of your gameplay right moving when you're fully stocked is really difficult up a hill with the wind and all that shit but the other thing is that dealing with other players

infrastructure or helping other players with infrastructure is a full half of that process early in the game they showed it off in some of the E3 trailers and demos and stuff haunted forest with BTs is a dense forest with a shit zillion fucking BTs

right there's three ways to go about this situation sorry four there are four ways you can either go straight the fuck through and just deal with it just hide you can go all the way along the right side at which point halfway down you'll drop into the middle of the forest

so you've avoided some of it there's a way harder hiking path in which you sky around the left side of the map to completely ignore all enemy encounters but the chance of falling and busting all your shit is very high or

at the current space in my game me and some other guy built fucking giant ass bridges that go all the way over the forest completely ignoring all enemies and deleting the

encounter that's a game totally absolutely and you did that the first time you went to that area I did that the 10th or 11th because building larger structures

takes resources it takes so many resources that there is an in-game system for building something pinging it saying I don't have enough resources and then having other players finish it for you and this is the weirdest thing

about Death Stranding the core gameplay is walking somewhere that's it tilting your shit with the triggers every time you encounter anything it will be the most mechanically over complicated shit

ever the fucking bridges have the bridge has three levels that take escalating amounts of materials that you have to forage through deliveries that other people can kick in and the second one is a customization thing

that you can have them play little songs or increase their durability because the timefall makes all structures transient so that one moment in that early trailer where Sam takes a swing at some guy as they're chasing him for his shit

and that other time where he pulls out a little gun looking thing it's not a lie but it's basically a lie yeah okay there's a moment where he pulls a gun thing out and he shoots it and then there's another moment where he swings on a guy and there's like two other guys around him

and they're chasing you the only thing I know about a human to human combat is that I saw it in a tooltip on a load screen this is the most expensive walking simulator that's ever been made yes it is like I saw

a mule which is the other humans but he didn't see me and then I didn't fight him I have currently at about 11 hours in game fought and killed four ghosts and that is the extent of combat

and by the way combat is you will throw a grenade like an arcing thing at the enemy that's literally it yeah this is a game that it's impossible

that most people will like or hate or like it's impossible for everyone to be on the same side on this this is the most divisive by concept and the ability to entertain you

is entirely based on how much that carrot dangling I disagree I really enjoy the core gameplay loop but I mean but you don't know that you're going to like that until you do it

that's right because it's unique so you can't advertise this game to tell people you're gonna love walking do you like hyper in depth hiking simulators of which there are zero you can't advertise that so you have to put the carrot

which is the fucking nonsense that I want to know about and then in the process of journeying to the nonsense you encounter some nonsense that you didn't think you'd like but then you had fun I have never played a game more that I'm really enjoying this

boy are people gonna hate this shit like fucking rightfully too like hate it fucking like Harlan Ellison my friend said this is this is a game for Angry Jonah Ranta about and for Jim Sterling

to rave about you know this is the anti-jim Sterling game Jim like gave Breath of the Wild a 7 because it has item durability this is the anti-jim

well it's for a type of person it's for me for super not another type of person somebody in my chat a few days ago said that Death Stranding has managed to weaponize Pat's mind goblins

because all of the reinforcement systems in this game are explicitly designed to appeal to people who like to see the bar grow look look dude America is the bar when I delivered so hey

you get extra points if during your delivery you're fucking stacked with bullshit the closer you are to your maximum weight the more points you get and when I did that I unlocked the ability to carry three extra kilos worth of weight there you go

fuck three extra damn so yeah it really is a game you cannot sell in advance unless you put a little stamp at the bottom of the game that says a Hideo Kojima game

Hideo Kojima game Yoji Shinkawa there it is churches low roar yeah that music just kicks in and makes me worried every time it does

well Wally I'm going to tell you this right now you're going to want to look real carefully at where you cut episodes because anytime that music comes in say fucking goodbye to youtube dollars because I have tested this and every

upload that I've made on my archive channel has been blasted to shit and all the twitch highlights get muted just killed outright luckily it's pretty much exclusive to the story

content well that means then just going to have to mute the video while we talk over it during those sections but what are you going to do but the moment not looking to

wrestle and wrangle any other fucking youtube copyright I actually want to ask you a bunch about that either on or off camera later I mean what is there to say dude we started playing Naruto Ultimate in just storm 3 as promised after a long time I got my green screen out

we worked really hard to record some bullshit Phil Dragash made some magic and then we put it together and it was awesome and then it's like uh oh you can't use Haruka Kanata fair enough let's throw the karaoke version in there alright loses some of the impact cause the lyrics aren't blasting

hitting you in the nostalgia but that'll be fine people will live and then the gameplay starts getting flagged and I'm like hold on a minute last time I did this with Naruto it was the obvious watching of the episodes that became a problem

which you know fair enough I signed up for that that's normal but no no no no this was actually the gameplay itself which it was being triggered by another let's play and Namco was using that

let's play as a reference to claim so it's still their claim but they're using this example as a footage comparison that's good that's smart and just says nope so that sucks and

seeing what I can do about it the answer is probably likely nothing the answer is play more Death Stranding I mean that's happening anyway we're playing that anyway but fuck me I got we put the costume on and did the big screen for nothing Naruto has not been

kind to you it has not been kind and I'm really trying and we did a session and you know that's five episodes and then after that I don't know we'll see what happens but fuck man you know and I said it when we streamed

this weekend earlier but a lot of folks that are just like we'll just upload it to Pornhub or to Bitshoot or to all these other places that's not the Woolly vs. YouTube channel that's not the same thing and even if you were putting a trailer to that or whatever and stuff

it's not like the point is is that like they're claiming and monetizing the video our work and then continuing to record 20 plus hours of that just for them to take everything that we've worked on it's like that sucks that's shitty that doesn't feel good

no why not just not play that and work on something where they're not taking it from me you know so like that's the that's the I understand the initial initial response to we'll just put it over here

but it's like but the point is that we're making it here so that it goes on the channel and helps the channel and if it's not doing that then it's and I can't even like even in a world where I want it to be like man this is

it's stupid but whatever on like just take the whole like monetization off you can't no they put it on they put it on they get it no matter what so that's what sucks and we'll have to just figure it out well don't worry woolly at least nothing

ever happened to anyone's youtube channel if it's not deemed profitable enough by youtube standards and then there's that yeah whatever that means don't worry woolly if the youtube channel doesn't do as well enough then what you can do is you can stream on

youtube and you can do choose your own adventure things in which people spam emotes to get their google accounts killed I didn't catch that oh you didn't see that Markiplier had a series in which he was doing like a choose your own adventure shit and he had emotes that basically summarized the choices so he'd be like oh what should I do

gang and they'd be like A or B or C or D or whatever those people got banned from youtube for spamming automatically which included their google accounts which means their gmails and youtube accounts were killed now because Markiplier's Markiplier was able to fucking fix

that right but wow what a great it was a good weekend for youtube it was a good weekend wow it was a good weekend well anyway at the moment you know currently hoping that our rooster friends might be able to help haha yes I'm hoping

reaching out seeing if they can do anything um and if they can that would be glorious uh and if not like there's one other idea that I'm gonna try maybe but like if that doesn't work then we'll just

have to we'll just have to scrap it yeah well so goodbye fun yeah you know and I legitimately wanted to know what was going down to like the first first hour of that game I saw some shit that I was like wait what the fuck was happening

like did you know that yeah like when the Ninetales starts attacking back in the day they zoom in on its face and it's got a Sharon Gan were you aware of that that's

and it's more complicated than that obviously but it zooms in on its eyes and its eyes have a Sharon Gan did you know that that's fucking crazy what is that yeah

and I'm like oh yeah that's I like I guess what that was but it's like that shit that's that's what I'm saying right so you start this part out where I'm like you're deep in the fucking shippuden hole and then you see that and you go that oh you know

and then then the fourth is like yeah I'm gonna fight it and then you're like sure don't forget willy all the all the Naruto content that you're enjoying currently has actually been retconned already have you heard about this Boruto shit no we not only have I heard about it we talked about oh yeah

I mean it's not it doesn't it's not hard retcon until the results come to pass but yeah Marty McFly that shit oh man you know because hey people don't care about your current adventures no go back to the shit they do care about damn

you know so we'll find out we'll find out um but yeah I like I like to remark uh a small anecdote from Death Stranding anyway finish that off yeah

which is there's a big hike that I had to make and the game tells you dude this is gonna be a big motherfucking hike and I went okay so I loaded my bike up with supplies

ladders ropes sweat grenades pea grenades poop grenades blood grenades well which was a 25 kilogram

box of cum and said I'm gonna go save America and then I threaded my way through rivers and valleys and a ghost fucking mountain pass

and then I saw the city in the distance and the wonderful soundtrack that by the way it's not the VODs that get killed on twitch it's the highlights which last forever the VODs are always fine the fucking amazing music started to kick in

as I descended into a valley to a pristine city going I'm gonna save these people by delivering this 25 kilograms of cum I'm going to do it that's Death Stranding I'ma click like on that five times

thanks the chemicals on my brain thank you now I know what some of you are thinking Pat you weren't delivering boxes of cum yes you are straight up delivering boxes of cum I'm fucking serious to be fair in destroyed neo-america cum is at a premium

it's at a premium more like no nut, November through August through 2051 or whatever, careful so if you are interested in Death Stranding but are on the fence off Death Stranding

I would highly recommend that you watch hours of footage of what the fuck the game is I mean right now people are already at each other's throats over whether or not this is boring or whether they love it

well here's the thing it's boring and I love it and it really has to do with how much tolerance for bullshit you have like do you have tolerance for bullshit in such a way where you not only tolerate it but

you grow to embrace it yes then you might this might be for you you might be a porter are you the kind of person who when you get to the monster hunter egg delivery quest raged because

you needed to unlock that final goddamn drink at the canteen but you're like I don't want to do this fucking egg delivery quest god damn it if you're that person this game might not be for you you might be stranded in America

if it's not for you you're stranded, if it is for you you're a porter do it well anyway there's that game so fucking clearly there's so much so little to be said

yeah no that's the weirdest thing and uh I don't think like we talked about the gameplay a little bit I don't think there's ever gonna be anything we need to talk about the gameplay again because it's until until credits at least because I'm like well

how much of this are we gonna find out I'm expecting none but let's see where it go I'm expecting some but it'll be in that way that gives you less information than you started I just I'm not looking to finish the carrot

but just give me a few shavings of it and then like halfway through let the carrot melt and become like an orange nightmare that you drown in the carrot juice that you didn't want

you thought you were chasing a carrot on a string and now you're drowning in an ocean of carrot juice and you know what that ocean is called America think about it like the whole game is like wake up sheeple like for like actually I like

I love how everyone like as far as the actors are concerned like Norman and Mads are just all out here going yeah man I don't know but this guy this guy is great he's the best

what a genius what an auteur I don't fucking know I have no idea what Mads is doing in the game like just everyone got their hands up in the air go and look man don't question the artist we just do what he says you know

I play a character named fragile she runs the fragile express and she's fragile but she's not that fragile she's actually spoken in the game like it's

it's like on the level of like a werewolf looking into the mirror and being like have I become some sort of monster like level subtlety like dude subtext is for cowards and Kojima is the bravest man we know the bravest and the strongest

did you hear the Kojima productions is getting ready to make films in the future film the most unsurprising piece of information I have ever received his movies are not gonna be good

his movies are not gonna be good somebody pointed at a friend of mine there is like there is not even a shred of a hope that his movies will be good

they're gonna be the worst pieces of shit ever friend of mine pointed out that in games his insanity has really very few points of comparison but in film those points of comparison are infinite oh yes

there are so many fucking people who make batshit weird ass art house fucking nonsense like there is Lynch and Lars von Trier right off the gate throw them in the Jim Jarmusch corner yeah see what's going on over there and these are people who have been making

movies for their entire lives right there is always a movie that some AAA some A-lister is attached to that you're like what is that and it's like yeah they were sold on some conversation

and then the thing came out and they didn't know what it was but there it go it happened you can go watch dead men if you want yeah but that shit's not gonna play in a film no it's gonna be

unwatchable that shit is gonna fucking be unwatchable you're right unwatchable put the fucking same scenes in a movie the same fucking scenes and like Del Toro will be so kind

oh man he will be so gentle and so nice you know and and just he'll guide him along the way but like the art art art art art art art art

is just you can't swallow that you can't there's nothing to eat on this plate it is empty it sucks it's gonna be garbage and I really I'm excited I'm really excited I wanna see the run

back to games or alternatively they blow this all this whole conversation out of the water you know however I do agree with you it's like I feel like we said this ten times Kojima's themes

are the bluntest instrument in any storytelling medium ever did you know that and I like the faint whiff of theme like you know what I mean I wanted

to hit my nose like oh wait was was that is this about drugs I don't know did I I think I missed that hold on a second it's about the overreach of the state I don't I know ah there's something there's something here right what's going on yeah and and like

this is the Cinnabon the Cinnabon of themes this is the Cinnabon of themes you bite in you're like it's too sweet and they've got like giant machines blasting the air at you from a mile away

and you're trying to walk home and you can't because the fucking Cinnabon is filling your entire cavity it's hitting that area behind your eyes as you're like ah with the theme like like like

Kojima approaches video game theming the same way that Zach Delaraca approaches it in music right because Zach's gonna be like we need to fight the power man okay what's the name

of the band rage against the machine raging against the political machine okay what's what's the breakdown in this song fuck you you don't do it to tell me ah like now I'm rolling down Rodeo with a shotgun

these people ain't seen a brown man since their grandparents bought one repeat times 50 what is this about fucking great song but what is the song about I don't I don't know beat you with it

like the riot cops beat you with their sticks and batons what yeah that's too subtle can we is there are there other like laughably unsubtle artists that we can think of off the top of their head because I want the

unsubtle to dream team I mean the obvious is anything that goes into the Lincoln park hot topic evanescence you know that's the obvious right teenage teen angst is really easy to peg apparently my chemical romance came back who sure

sure I don't know how that happened but I guess they're alive again um you know what if you want so if you want to take the less the less obvious route on that yin yang twins yeah yin yang twins are out there with their songs big hits such as

wait till you see my dick yeah and other strip club hits yeah because somebody's got to make the music for the strip club strip clubs need music would you go to a quiet strip club that's weird and it's just like yeah we can we can dance around this and be all subtle about it but why do that what we can just say what we

want to do yeah we're here for penis in vagina yeah sexual activity and this is what we're singing about now I want to point something out that like expressly one one of the good one of the best

examples or or benefits of turning this audio podcast into a pseudo live podcast allows us to get instant feedback on questions or rebuttals that people might have now we're talking about unsubtle people in creative mediums

and the one that jumps to most people's minds as according to our audience is David Cage as an unsubtle hack fuck but and here's the really important part when you go talk to Kojima you what's Death Stranding

about Death Stranding is about how we're all becoming apart in a digital society and everybody's fractured and this fucking things getting built over here it's you know and he'll just fucking tell you right when you go to David what's David it is about the

robots no it's not David no it's not you fucking coward bitch tell us about what the game is about the supplemental which is his interviews they will literally like these are these this mentality is oil and water

hey Kojima what's this about I'm terrified of nukes I'm fucking super freaked out about nuclear war and nuclear disarmament and fucking nuclear waste and PMC's and shit they scare the shit out of me

hey David what's this about it is about the prophecy of the end with the child okay yeah Edgar Allen Poe is pretty blunt yeah he doesn't he might be like oh you thought it was your normal

girlfriend nope she dead it's dead your guilt is what you're here it's your guilt there it is hey what's the noise under the thing it's your guilt it's your guilt cause you're guilty cause you killed that guy but I thought for a second

it might not be my guilt I thought it might be something super natural or mystical nah nah it's your guilt it's lady mcbeth washing her hands that's it that's literally a little bit a little bit

yeah well we'll see where this this book goes you know and I really would like to know what it would what it feels like if you're playing this like again as an American

you know as you're traveling from the one coast to the other coast okay so there's so it's like the two spots that matter so woolly this is this is one of the

fucking okay so this happened in the early stream my wonderful lady girlfriend peach saliva was sitting next to me as the resident American in the household and they show a map of the united states

in which that middle part is fucked it is gone and page goes a woman from southern illinois hey

that part in the middle that's where we're not anymore yeah that's what it is like that middle part fucked just gone who's connecting the bridge from

florida to vermont who cares you know where's that story it's from washington to fucking seattle some of those states

literally don't exist on that map anymore they're gone well that's why we're trying to build the united cities of america yeah because we don't even have states anymore that shit's dumb who needs that shit or we got knots

if you're out there in one of those states that no longer exists in death stranding let us know or don't just die okay that's strong because you don't matter so you're gone so

okay well but you're not dead really let me back up a second let's sit for a second okay okay a couple months ago i called randy pitchford a friend of the podcast

and you're like dude you can't do that randy that's ridiculous however hey everyone who lives in this 10 state region just die is okay for a podcast well yeah because they're not actually dying they're just ending up on the beach

they're stranding you can listen to the podcast on the beach right it's playing you have to that's all anyway um text you a phrase that appears in death stranding

that is real is there other things of note of significance that because i have a thing or two that i did this honestly it's been death stranding wait what those are real lines of dialogue those are real

those are real i i hate i hate i need him in my life god how's it been so long fuck me man

nobody does it like he does they really can't it takes that unique perspective coming from no no no you guys need to hit that yourselves it takes that unique perspective coming from again like

you are super fascinated with this culture and you grew up falling in love with it from japan and you one day decided to like go on

a rant about like spy fiction and military like war crimes and somebody made a video game around it and it landed because nobody else attempted to put that many words into a video game before and then

you went oh my god everyone likes when i they like when i go on these rants because i used to just type them into forums and yeah no one would just yell at my boss about it and it would but you guys liked it yeah nukes huh okay what else do you have to say

the internet's bad okay okay big hit what else you got well family and nationalism these are concepts that children our child soldiers are bad

okay yeah god don't use the children okay that's a bad okay got it amazon drones hmm well downfall of society no wait wait wait language language language is

everything it's important and the way we talk oh you know what my gs5 was totally about him being a pun nerd language is culture words can kill

motherfucker be careful what you say speech has value nukes are still bad photosynthesis is good yeah trees helpful breathing through the skin is good nukes bad yeah

be careful what you say yeah hey yoko taro what do you think i like huge asses thanks yoko right q fucking final fantasy weight of the world version and all the tears come

oh my god their asses are so big i'm crying i'm crying the weight of the world more like the weight of that booty guys do you know

what an ameribu looks like it looks like fucking hideo kojima like a hundred percent dude she's carrying the weight of the world she's literally it's right there on her waist and she's

just one girl yeah is this god's punishment for her past mistakes with that weight alright so i fucking love japanese video games they're fucking so stupid oh man

this this does put a smile on my face this does remind me why i chose this route and not the other yeah right this reminds me why i didn't become a professional fifa streamer oh yeah

that's the yeah that's right uh huh this is why i'm i'm i'm in this weird ass weeb world because we get the front seat on this and it's going to take literally at least two years before your

like cousin and or nephew like oh yeah even catches i totally the back draft of what we're talking about right here really and then they're probably going to be like yo the new metal gear sucks man so i remember i remember like

me and you i feel like there are many like this but of the people that i know you and i are the ones who spent the most time prepping for this game in our lives in that i remember walking down monk street i think to

dalalos and villamar in the rain and you and i were arguing over whether or not liquid snake was actually possessing oscilot as a ghost in mgs2 or whether or not he was faking it and we

discovered that in mgs2 he wasn't faking it it was real but in mgs4 he got his arm in place with that robot arm and that's when he started to fake it and then use the faking in order and that was a long discussion

that we wasted our evening on that was an object waste of our lives but even if he was faking it thematically snake accepts him as his brother and fights him and then the music plays

so you know even the fake doesn't matter it's still real it might as well be because it's still real because what is real it's what you feel is real even if it is a digital copy digital copy or clone baby whatever

it's not the original but what is it's the meaning you drive through your life it's the idea passed on taking shape in a new body we can literally do this that carries it forward all day it's so it's so stupid of course love exists on the

battlefield what is love chemicals no nanomachines son that's all it is the ideas move forward and that's all we are so if someone says no that's not nah

you're the new version don't hang around pretty women on the battlefield you'll shit your pants also very important we've come a long way from Alaskan ear-pulling a really long way we've come a long way

since the ear-pull I remember the fucking delivery on that so vividly you must be real winner was he a real threat in the muktuk eating contest too huh it was like fuck

that was decades ago woolly that was decades ago we are currently not one but two improvised explosive devices inserted into the vagina

past that story point of ear-pulling that's did you notice that her name is pacifica ocean and she falls into the ocean at the end

cause it's the fuck oh my god long way since the muktuk eating contest and you know what I just realized and makes me really upset that we already got

the tiniest piece of death stranding way back because the most important theme that he kept going back to over and over is that I saw the earth from space and it was whole no borders

no boundaries we should all come together and all that stupid shit happened and then is sam living out the boss's legacy and death stranding I mean

but then she immediately after observing the earth as a whole she bit into a calorie mate yeah and told that story to snake who was munching on doritos yeah so I okay so I brought this up

like I brought this up when I was on level clear and I brought this up when I was on a fucking stream and most people didn't know what I was talking about the monster energy shit is fucking laughable it's hilarious it's out

of place but most people don't one most people don't know calorie mates a real fucking food brand is a Japanese food to eat well he is going to get his calorie mate it is right there it's I he's pulling it out

he has his calorie mate cube of food it's real it's real to a lot of people didn't play the game in which big boss said I need to smell like shit and eat doritos

in which he made his fucking stolen 1960s soviet scientist invent doritos and axe body spray for himself because those versions got changed into generic items in the hd remake it's every game

every game it's every time and I mean at least who wants a spot look it wasn't a palico or an ape escape monkey this time around but like

it's gamer fuel it is gamer fuel it is so of the moment it's the most 2019 thing he could have picked so uh googly garith went out and bought death stranding and he went to the store and he likes monster and sure enough

on death stranding day he was able to buy a pack of four monsters for half off there you go and he was like huh like daunte holding the monster energy can you know what I mean like that that meme is now fucking

who cares but that asset of a can was put into this game years ago and it's so high fidelity and it's right here now in this moment no one can say kojima doesn't understand where we are in our timeline you see norman

he sees the whole thing you guys want to have a fun fucking time go visit at big bald head on twitter which is norman redis' twitter account check out what he's liking he is liking every degenerate fucking sam death stranding shit

post imaginable and I don't know if you know this but norman redis is 50 years old he is fucking peak boomer and he is literally looking at his phone and looking at people joking about haha norman redis gonna war you with monster

going huh huh huh internet huh that's funny like hahaha is this the path yeah he's 50 guys fucking 50 years old so

elsewhere in an alternate reality this was just pt yeah did we win no well yes according to norman redis we totally won because norman redis was quoted saying I'm glad pt died and everyone and he said because death stranding is way better

so silent hills would have just been silent hills yeah it would have been normal and it would have been a regular video game there would have been a monster energy can on inside of a haunted whatever refrigerator yeah

but it would have still just been a normal horror game yeah and we wouldn't be talking about s-ranking your mother definitely wouldn't be talking about s-ranking your mother you know we you know what I just realized well it is 220

right now we have actually not talked about what that is about at all no I did I gave it some context okay I gave it some context it's it's it's just it's the fucking it's the ranking that comes up

and goes s awesome that just wow now there's s-rank stand for strand rank yeah it does did you know that the form of the s is like a strand

did you know that the s in strand stands for strand there it is will you crack the code you cracked it that's it listen I spent some time this week playing something that I otherwise

would not have touched in quite a while and I don't know if you took a look at it but there was an announcement and then there was a release of Nero in teppen I know I haven't taken a look at teppen yet

what I did hear about Nero is his version of devil trigger yeah which is the craziest remix ever all of these voices inside of my head yeah that thing is wildly comedic and hilarious they just they knew they leaned into it

and then there's a rad instrumental version in the game too I am about 90 ranking battles deep into teppen 90? 90 or so

that's a significant amount yeah I played a lot of teppen this weekend alright I used to kill time with I was killing time with Scrabble and then I just replaced that because I'm like

now that the character I like is here he says all the things I like and he's doing all the little graphics that I enjoy let me see what this game is through the eyes of Nero yeah okay so this is my first time going into a game where

you collect the cards you build the deck and then you fight the other people and you do all of this shit and I sure would enjoy it more if I had if you didn't have to you can play it instead of spending money

but the gacha systems are all in place they are and they are not only do they affect gameplay it is explicitly about that of course it is but I'm still a person who comes from games where it's like

no no all the tools you need to win are there gacha has become so dominant and like ever present that despite the fact that this is a collectible card game and that the system that gacha used was actually invented

in collectible card games it's a gacha system so you gotta open up your random packs and hope you get something good and like when I look at different decks that the characters have and stuff like that and you go well there's this card that's a part of this set

that like if you have it you're just better this is just a better card than everything else you have build up your couple thousand Hearthstone dust to make the professor boom card cause that card's the shit and once you have it well now you're fucking

you crush anyone who doesn't and it's like I guess but should not somebody with like I guess good luck and good ability to understand who they're fighting against ah fuck that kid, that kid's a pussy

look at my fucking shiny Charizard but hold on though how much this skill matter in magic the gathering in Pokemon it's everything and then Yu-Gi-Oh! you gotta know how to fucking read what you expect your opponent to have I imagine know your own deck and play in a way that

like makes it so that maybe if you getting something that you can use to crush them is high right like everything is built for a certain reason so anyway that part aside I was having fun with it and I think I fully

like all the stuff I was really confused about I fully get now but there's still little moments that are not clear where this game is not fully turn based it's active yeah that's the weirdest part by far that's new and so

there's moments where like you're like really really you're trying to lay that card on the right slot before the damage arrow hits yeah because you'll die otherwise or whatever and like if you do it fast

enough like you'll get it in there but and then you can and then in some cases you're like stacking actions on top of each other mm-hmm but like um how fast you slide your thumb from one spot to another actually matters in a card game

yeah where usually that wouldn't matter usually that's literally who gives a fuck as long as you do it within your turn really strange that that applies here and then in some cases when you do that it resets the arrow you know or like

it puts everything back to zero so you gotta wait and of course the balance behind that is that like the um strong cards require the longest wait time of course yeah that makes sense and so on and so forth you know

I tried putting together a deck of characters I like balanced with like stuff that's good yeah and I actually managed to like you know get out of the basic couple of ranking matches with that but then eventually you hit a put where it's like

look fucker you're playing against people who dumped their paychecks into this fucking thing you better put Rebecca Chambers in your deck or you're not gonna make it why would you not have Rebecca Chambers in your deck with this green set Rebecca Chambers is the shit yeah I know and I'm like okay she's gonna put

shields on everything hell yeah she is but I wanted that serum yeah and then there but you know but then thankfully there's some cool cards and I'm like hey Makoto she's got a block and she puts a shield on you it's interesting to see because these card games live and die based on how much you give a fuck about what's in it

there's a picture on the card and it's like hey are you a big wow head yeah hit Hearthstone's for you do you love Capcom like we do Tepin here's for you are you a fucking weirdo degenerate creep ass weeb who just reads porn all day here's your fake game weirdos so I'm like

I know I'm never gonna use it because it takes nine of ten slots not slots but nine of ten energy to play uh Nello Angelo not Nello Angelo sorry uh Angelo Credo yeah because he's a nine

point card he better be but he's got a lot of defense and he flies you know which means he attacks the other person directly so I'm just gonna have this in my deck you know you know and alongside that there's the Nero card which is

cool because it has a whole like the growth system so you go from regular to the you know DT version or whatever the fuck the mechanics are and such and then every once in a while I discover a little thing where I'm like oh so when

you bring out um that monster hunter thing with the big horns in its mouth does it cover no is it just Diabolos you need to give me more than big horns in this bet that's actually like 3500 different monster um it's it's it's

it's a big monster hunter monster and it's got these two giant horns sticking out of the front and it does damage to you when you play it is it spiky uh is it no because nerdy gante is the character you play as I'm not talking about the character

I'm talking about the the the card right so I mean I can literally pull it up on my deck in a second if I just fucking take a second to look at it but anyway gobble um Jen Moran I think it's Diab

I think it's Diabolos okay Diabolos I think I am correct in that it's Diabolos but um of course you have to fucking mash through the daily this and the that that that do your dailies man I don't want to do my dailies you need to do your dailies I don't want I lose it will increase your

engagement um yeah it's Diabolos yeah okay Diabolos cool Desert Tyrant Diabolos it's got the two giant things so when you play it it hurts you for six damage which is a lot but if you do a

Makoto Shield before that then you negate that damage and then you play him for free so yeah so this like even listening to you like this shit lives and dies based on me going I'll use Makoto to block my own Diabolos like I'm getting like ah that's cool

yes and that's cool take that away and say play the damage card and then put the shield card on you first oh yeah whatever it's fine I guess but you get this thing of Makoto going ha and then it comes out and it goes and then you're like Makoto could totally

block a Diabolos and then uh uh uh Wesker like his arm starts going blah blah blah and he goes ah remember Chris and he destroys one of my cards but I'm like I don't care about that because I've got a heal and Mega Man heals me

and I love Mega Man and I love Mega Man and that's it and that's the whole thing that's the whole thing but I will say the same thing as when you're watching Avengers and the end part comes in and people are essentially

just walking onto the screen and you're going oh yeah it's down from that movie but here's what I noticed right over the course of getting into like the flow of this game is my initial deck was made up of a lot of stuff that I like

that also works for a consistent strategy so I have Niko coming in and she pulls her van up and gives me something cool and I've got the wire snatch you know and all this other DMC5

like funny shit right and Eva is really strong she helps P irony no she just gives you she makes you grow she's not strong herself she makes other people stronger

it's a moral thing like Iris and Iris was a card where on death she buffs everybody else that's fucking amazing that's hilarious shit like that it's great and then slowly

as you're starting to notice like oh fuck that morrigan has the ability to like fly and hurt me in a way that I can't stop it so I have to take some of these Morrison cards away

so that I can put in anti-morrigan cards right and then I'm like but but that's the character that I like so who'd you replace Morrison with well then so now I'm looking at my deck at least there's still shit that I care about but amongst the shit I care about

is our cards like uh sitsi kya yaku sitsi yaku I'm like I don't want this stupid ugly dino in my set he's got a flash bomb but he seals anybody in front of him

so I need it and there's life powder which is nowhere near as cool as like having um I don't know like again let's say Alex doing a flash chop

to you but it heals you and gives everyone else a nice big buff of 2 HP so you're stupid to not have it right so this is the part this is the part that they get you

cause you go damn it I don't have anything to deal with this bullshit I'm gonna have to take Niko out and replace it with Huey the dog yeah what's that

yeah who's Huey no it's from this old game called Haunting oh wow that looks really cool no that's not I know exactly where

uh these characters come from I know you do I'm looking at you know where every single one of these characters come from woolly but most people don't

most people go what is a monster hunter huh yeah that looks like it's an ad you know I know who General is from Mega Man I don't want his card yeah you know

that's so hey that's the genius for people who only love a couple Capcom things this is the gate keeping this is the weeds that gets them into the Capcom heroin but for somebody like you or me

who knows almost all of them like what about the biggest general fan ever yeah no no this is a so this is the pick a top tier oh yeah 100% right but here's why they're geniuses though

right because you still no matter what your deck is made of you're still playing as a character yeah so nothing will stop me from being Nero right

and Nero's the one you see on the left side of the screen talking shit yeah it's Nero's using a life powder yes right and when you do your super you're doing one of Nero's three super arts right

right whether it's like going awakening or um using his Gerbera yeah or calling in the Niko van

like you're using that character same way there's like Ryu doing his shinkoo what okay with the big ripped shirt I like Ryu so even if you have to fill your deck up with shit that you don't care about you're using

a character you do care about regardless that's smart right then there's gonna be folks that even pick a character based on the function as opposed to

and fuck those people because that's soulless you don't even like that spiky boy you just pick him because he's got the dive bomb you know I like that spiky boy though

yeah I know but let's say you didn't and you just picked him because you like the dive bomb the difference is there's a medium in between there there's like I really like Nero and I do like

Nerigigante but I'm gonna play Nerigigante because I'm gonna win when Nerigigante yeah so but anyway it's the difference between the functions

and the the man you're living that fuck anti top tier life man I like the things I like and the reason I wouldn't but don't you like winning but I would not care about this

I would not download this game if Nero wasn't in it I didn't start playing until he showed up so once I started playing it why would I suddenly switch my priorities to what they would have been if he wasn't in the game you know what I mean like the fact that I waited so long

to even bother spending time with it just to then stop using him to go to one of the characters that was already there I don't like Willy doesn't, my brain doesn't work that way like one of you really enjoyed the gameplay of a different character and then I get to switch a root on it yeah maybe

it's nothing's impossible but like as is that the like I could go for a Wesker deck but I could also go for a Jack Baker deck

Jack Baker's cool yeah and you know I don't like I don't dislike any of those playable characters so much that it'd be like man in the sense that it's like

they're all pretty cool I mean not yet I mean I'm sure they'll put a loser in eventually yeah so but so far it's pretty good yeah you know Ryu Chun Lee Dante

Mega Man Morrigan Nergagante what's it called? I literally don't know what you're saying Wesker the other fucking

the other fucking the other monster the other playable monster I don't know what it is Rathalos? yeah yeah Rathalos there you go Jill

you know it's fine right that's those are all good Capcom characters no problems there but I really like Nero yeah

so that'll bring me into begin with and I won't let go of that because that's the reason why I showed up mm-hmm you know which reminds which brings me to the whole

like yeah that that whole bit with like Monster Hunter where it's like I forgot like when I was looking over some of that stuff I was like oh yeah like the guy armor and the girl armor problem

that we talked about a while ago yeah where I'm just like but I'm showing up for this aesthetic you know I'm showing up because I like the way this looks yeah so or I like this character

or I like what's going on here so anytime yeah anytime it comes down to that where it's like the thing you like just can't cut it like that always feels bad in games man

but but here there's a push and pull and my deck is still made up significantly of things that I do like mm-hmm and I'm playing the card game well the trick is just like everything

I guess it is I guess it is and I saw someone in the chat just go wooly you're so fucking weird and I'm like yeah I I guess but it's just because

like the win hook wooly likes the things wooly likes well I like playing to win obviously but like that is but winning is contingent in the sense that like well no it's not contingent playing to win

is the priority but there are many things you can win at there are many games you can win in that's true and the games that I choose to even entertain my time with yeah are the ones where I like something

besides the concept of winning yeah if I just wanted to win I'd play fucking tiddlywinks I would play yeah but there's like there's an in between like I find myself

going insane right now that I'm talking to you and like wooly you're the one putting out the extreme opinions that's usually my gimmick and that like there is like there could be a there could be a fucking

this is not an extreme opinion this is very mild there could be a fucking character you hate to dance addicted to the most boring loser ever but you like how they actually play better than the others this is what I would call

the virtual fighter prop uh mark of the wolves yeah oh yeah Kevin fucking Kevin get out of here Kevin

um nobody likes you dude you do a manual uh show you repo with fucking Marco if you yeah time that shit but anyway

uh I uh yeah no no no it's it's not an extreme at all at the end of the day look all I'm trying to say is I played the game as Nero I put a bunch of time into it I get it now

and I'm having fun I'm having fun picking some stuff with the character list and I don't did you have fun I had some fun I'm having fun

I should probably try to tap on yeah I'm having fun I'm having fun because and here's the thing is because I'm not like I'm tapping like the key was

like knowing that you tap on a thing and it tells you what it does right because the first time I played the game I'm like what the fuck is happening and I didn't know that

you tap on things to get the description of how they work so every time the enemy did something to me I was like I don't what does that icon mean how do I stop it

and then you just like I just tap on it and read it you know um yeah that's a good list that's a good one mm-hmm and then the individual cards

there's some deep pulls you know there's some fun stuff but ultimately yeah I'm just having fun with it but all I'm saying I'm just talking about the fact that I noticed

that like as I go as I'm going up in the rankings right you're fighting like random super hard Japanese players that are just like

fucking crushing you with a preplanned like uh uh uh um preplanned like uh uh

sequence of cards that like the only way to stand a chance is to get rid of all that chafe that you enjoy that's right

and put some meaningful functions in and you know sometimes those functions are like not magneto not magneto so

and you balance it back and forth I don't know why Rebecca Chambers is so good but she's good she's great I mean I know why she's good

as a function but she's great because Shinji Mikami hates her but Wesker loves her yeah a lot

a lot Rebecca Chambers is the most popular character hmm Shinji Mikami famously like everyone's like

when's Rebecca's game and he's like she's not that good guys we did already zero because it had to be her but and everyone's like no, Rebecca's the shit

so when people are like diving in deep like shadowverse and fate and all these other things

pretty much it's like do you like the IP? well here's the fucking cards yeah basically take a look at the cards from the thing you like fate is is extra strong

because it has such a big media thing that people just buy anything with fate on it yeah look at all these arts even buy haunted bean babies

I would stab teppen in the womb and fling it into the volcano okay to turn it into a fighting game alright

it's just Capcom Versus how many times do we have to talk about how much we would rather have Capcom Versus I would fucking grab that umbilical cord alright

and hammer throw it alright right into the volcano okay just to just to turn it into Capcom because it's a volcano of color blindness

I was going for like a like a sacrificial thing okay the assets are all there that's not true half of the assets are there did you know that the ghosts

and Death Stranding have umbilical cords because they're strands did you know that you are connected to your mother America by strands alright you know an Ethernet cord

is like a strand to the global community that's right the only other thing I did of significance was did a stream and on that stream I played

the mystery of Castle Super Beast you played yourself I literally played myself what's that like apparently don't ever play yourself but that's not true

because it was a good time had a lot of fun and boy that thing is like down to the walk speed alone in the dark it's it's so on the nose

it's extraordinarily on the nose the mystery of Castle Super Beast by Ramirai is a fan game that was made in three months time that came out on Halloween

and it's a real ass like alone in the dark style game is that survival horror is that the right word alone in the dark is number one

then we can call this survival horror though it's with goofy 3D Canadian South Park versions of me and Pat I don't know if you've looked at

alone in the dark one but that's actually really close okay fair enough but our goofy flop mouths and BDIs are present

yeah like that thing was a lot of fun and it's extremely clear based on how that LP went right or how that stream went

I should say I mean it was an LP in a by a fashion yeah I completed I completed all three endings of which there are three endings by the way we only got two

but that's because I didn't do the first one okay straight to the second there's also like a couple hours of gameplay yeah it's like it's like three to five

easy so the difficulty in this genre at least at its most faithful comes entirely from making

mundane easy activities cumbersome that's right so tank controls which are oh man I forgot to talk about it

in those options yeah that's really funny oh man I assume they don't do anything they don't do anything yeah but you have ten different flavors of tank controls

fucking yeah that's great you have fifteen different versions of subtitles panzer, strauffin or whatever the fuck there's a sweetest one in there

that I can't read yeah yeah but that shit sucks oh no and

feels bad and I remember it back in the day and I fully get it that like

this game would be a joke if it were easy oh man it'd be laughable yeah so the entire thing of which by the way

like here's the other bit too is that because the genre is what it is all of these jokes are not in my fucking sphere

yeah like the whole tank controls thing there's references to to quint or to what a mansion

yeah and all these other things fully out of your wheelhouse yeah and I think people forget that actually because they just

throw the whole you know the whole gumbo together yeah but I don't know what half that shit is slash I know it

because I hear you guys say it yeah and I see it posted but I was not around for the context so more than half the time

when people expect me to have some sort of attachment to something that took off huge on the channel I'm like yeah no I'm not I have no idea

I wasn't there for this this means absolutely nothing to me it always went both ways because there were always these fucking gags that people hit me with I'm like

what? yeah what? but people assume at some point that it's like oh but you must have went back and con no

fuck no no one watched each other shit everyone is screaming about everyone's screaming about quint and I have no opinions on this character from a game I didn't play end of story

or an LP you didn't watch end of story done so when I play so when you play a fan game where they were like you're you're saying one of those

jokes in the game like I'm saying one of those jokes in the game or something's happening and everyone's fucking in it and I'm just like yeah man I don't know

I got nothing for you here what's happening? right but anyway boy yeah that was really tight that was really fun and like yeah

it was really just the challenge was 100% like navigating through this forest as a as a tank control aficionado

who actually really enjoys that stuff I spoke to Ram or I in not in private but I DM'd him I'm like

I have like a couple really small pieces of feedback and like the only one that I had about the controls were there's two things one

when you go to shoot the gun the instant you aim you get locked into like a two second animation yeah and the radius on the tank controls is not tight enough

yeah the radius because you you actually run kind of fast the radius is slightly that's fast for

for the turning radius yes yes because the turning radius isn't tight enough it felt so when you're when you're going around when you're trying to

navigate around options it feels like you can't turn fast enough so like I didn't realize that when you get hit it puts your arm back down yeah

so like I died I died once or twice to like yeah aiming the gun and then getting hit and then not knowing that I had to do it back up

the biggest incentive to not die is to not take 10 minutes to get back to where you were yeah I didn't and I didn't

I wasn't yeah I learned that yeah so when I was like let me go off-roading in this forest I saw spider and I tried to punch it

and then that didn't work out and I was like oh the other thing that I forgot to mention is like time needs to stop when you reach it mm-hmm but someone said

a couple people said no that's the point though but I'm like but you'll never there's too many enemies in the forest but you'll never read it you'll just never read it there's way too many

like that spider is in the bathroom like I can try to deal with it with wasting damage is a resource yeah

bullets are a resource so you're spending you're either spending damage or bullets yeah or you can just rush it

yeah which you're gonna do but then you're not gonna read this text you know so yeah that happens a bit in the beginning of the game until you get the gun

but even then I'm like but I don't know what I need these bullets for so I'm not spending these bullets and then there's so there's that

and then there's the camera slash camera button which is really impressive that you have all these useful like shots that you can switch to

as you get confused but rotating a camera would definitely not be in the genre right that would be the wrong mistake but

oh my god that was the actual enemy like if there were no enemies they were just me trying to navigate the cliff side my favorite part is

you'd hit RB and it gets inside a tree a tree and you're like hit it again hit it again the ability to do that

actually is super powered compared to almost all games in that genre yeah it's kind of like there's a couple of moments where you have to like skirt the edge

of the map to find like a cave or something yeah happens a couple of times they're finicky and you have and like

there's one where it's like okay I think I know you're dropping into the abyss and I'm like this genre is fucking old now I want to point out

that alone in the dark predates Resident Evil 1 by a lot like alone in the dark one is I want to say like

94 like alone in the dark and like that's the era of the fucking Super Nintendo

yeah you know like I mean I remember playing 92 I remember playing it on my computer I played that on my fucking

386 982 or was it our Pentium it might have been the Pentium that is deep yeah

in the fucking era of like Super Nintendo we had the 36 or however many floppy disk you know box

to install all that shit with and like yeah and so alone in the dark I remember there's that one what was

the game where you played as the little girl in France and she had her little brother and it was the same tank control system

does that ring a bell at all are you talking about Plague Tale from the same era okay I know there is a super old game where it's like alone in the dark

because alone in the dark is the earliest one I remember and you have no face and you have no textures or features and you just walk around

but then there's this really old game where you play as a little girl in France and you have a little brother a little brother a smaller brother

yeah you're maybe like 10 and he's like maybe like 6 or something like that and you're running around in

a PC or a PlayStation game PC I was playing it on PC tank controls France no you don't remember

okay alright that's fine people are saying my thought was clock tower and it's like clock tower is way too late yeah it's way too late Rule of Rose is a PlayStation game

I'm talking about early 90s on the PC yeah that's not it yeah so no one knows what it is okay no one remembers

I guess it was kind of obscure guys it wasn't the rude sandstorm come on I guess it was no it wasn't City of Lost Children? could that be it?

what the fuck is that? I don't know let me just take a quick Google to see if that's possible you gotta remember most of the people listening to this podcast literally weren't alive

yeah that's that's what I realized midway through the conversation is that you were all babies that weren't alive like when I talk about man those are the beholder games with those VGA intros

whoa people are like I don't know what the fuck that is man yeah I mean the City of Lost Children appears to be a a book and or movie but I'm

Castle Super Boomers I hate it I hate it what about Castle Boomers oh my god oh my god totally you nailed it this is it

you super nailed it I think so yeah DOS games City of Lost Children damn 100% thanks Gar good job

crushed it hey do you prefer Castle Super Boomers or Castle Boomer Beast I prefer Boomer Beast Boomer Beast yeah for sure yeah

City of Lost Children you go look that shit up and uh I've never heard of this one yeah yeah yeah looks like it got ported to PS1 later but I played this thing

in like the mid 90s early mid 90s I want to say and uh this too was my experience with tank controls right

and oh yeah oh I see it right you see it yeah I'm looking at it yeah yep yep

my experience with tank controls is a game that I don't think I've ever spoken to a person in my actual real life and anyone's ever said back to me ever

which was a DOS game called oh fuck what was it called it was called Twinsons Odyssey Little Big Adventure 2 and that had some fucking aggressive tank controls

and that game is also fucking great so this so this entire thing and like it got me thinking about like are there is there any other genre of game

where the difficulty comes from doing something super easy in life that is really hard in this video game like I guess like like a quap

you know Death Stranding has you walking up hills and almost dying and I'm just like but this task this should this is not the challenge but the tension Willy

the challenge should be the actual hard thing and things like walking around and jumping and running should be easy because that's easy for us to do in life and like when it was like hey drop down off the edge

to get to that cave and I'm like oh man if I could just eyeball this it would be a fucking well you gotta remember the horror genre of this type survival horror nearly all of it

came from this place of like the fucking engine will die if you turn this camera if you rotate the camera so yeah

or these are pre-rendered backgrounds right right but here you go and that's why they look so gorgeous like the like like city of lost children yeah

as a bunch of pre-rendered backgrounds and it then like so work from there yeah yeah looks way ahead of its time because of it too but

you know pay no attention to the fact that it's funny that you mention that because like you know how RE2 took RE2 took way longer

to get a remake than the first one because RE1 if you go back and look compared to like two and three and all the other ones of its era

the pre-rendered backgrounds and RE1 are really primitive they don't hold up well at all because they're all like simple shapes and like you know like

like you know that light blue corridor look that like early 3D shit had like kind of rebooty

where there's no wallpaper or fucking anything yeah but but yeah so it like it was a really interesting thing

to just kind of like okay piece together that like yeah this is like make this is quap for scary things right

yeah and um well the the fucking the lie that they always told everyone

was like you know why it's like that right because when you're scared your body doesn't do when it's told and it's like it's like emulating

being scared okay but what about the part where I'm perfectly calm and it's still that way you're scared really really

that you're just disoriented you can't figure it out yeah yeah now how much work would it have been to re to adjust the

the the direction the d-pad or the stick every shot it sucks nightmarish probably at the time

I've played games like that and it's it's actually sucks Devil May Cry 1 you're running down that hallway now you're running backwards now you're running back it sucks

right like that little two seconds that Nero's running this way and then suddenly turns around and books it the other way because you didn't change the direction

on the stick it's hilarious you know so and yeah and that's DMC4 where you got that happening right the

the there's a lot going on right and also there's stuff you can do in like unity now where you just go hey

like the camera will choose what the d-pad reflects the direction that the character moves at yeah it simplifies your life so much like

but way back when yeah that would have been really really hard I'm sure the the the HD remake

of RE1 the has a digital control option that gives you regular ass non-tank controls turns that game into a farce yeah

exactly it's so stupid you're just playing football with hallways of zombies yeah you're you're fucking which

ultimately I which I ended up doing throughout the entirety of of Castle Super Beast anyway yeah right

but like I still walked my fucking ass off the edge of that world a couple times yeah just one a couple times too many including

when I had to like search behind a certain building for like that was tough and I'm like but you can't orient things

where you need to see them just do it just do it the same point in that room for a reason so another no you don't

open it yet oh you're right you're way back at the castle you're very right yeah so all that to say that I'm just like

okay this is quap the genre the genre is quap and that's that's where the fun comes from right that's the challenges

like something that you could just literally just look at and go oh yeah walk over there and step away from that monster

is just like left foot right foot left foot right foot you're so scared um so you grew up on those

I did and that leaves a special feeling in your heart it does every time you get these controls absolutely

and I don't have that feeling no I just get the quap yeah but it's completely different context

yeah but I still really enjoyed the game and uh with the help of the chat was able to

shave what might have been probably an extra hour of oh me and me and Paige took

seven eight hours because we didn't realize we had to reload a save to get a different ending when it was like

yo go find that tree I'm like oh that was tough which one there are many trees the camera

is not helping me um we did it it was great it was funny uh there were characters

there were laughs there were mechanics there was bosses and in the end I get it I get it

it's an incredibly it is what the fuck is quap ask the chat chat oh uh quap is

if you've never seen it q w o p it's a browser game you can go play right now and it is a it is basically you are

an Olympic runner and you are running and the whole game is you have to just run to the finish line or as far as you can because there is no finish line

that's right the game is about running to the finish line but you have a button dedicated to each limb

and it is joint too right every every angle of your your knees and arms

is controlled by how you press these buttons and the sequence and how you press them have fun and it is very difficult

to do the most basic task that is put your left foot in front of your right it gives you a lot of appreciation

for your motor system it does it does and it's hilarious to watch is your racer like the ability to just you know

to twirl your fingers and move your hands with no effort what's those like left wow yes but it also shows you

that you can take a task that is super easy to us every day by making it more difficult it also reminds me of God

I think it's called speaking simulator or talking simulator oh where you have to move the tongue and all that shit yes so I played this at

PAX where you are a robot infiltrating humans and you have to pass their detection test by being

a normal human and you have to move your jaw your tongue and your lips all separately to make the sounds

come out correctly so that you can you don't usually think about the actual use of your mouth

while speaking most of the time the other people that you are also a human and it's like but we don't it takes no effort to talk but yeah

well that's not true but you make a game out of something that is like you know you are in the game like deep power

you are weaker than you are as a player yeah woolly you got to go to work and you got to make nobody

realize that you are actually an octopus in a suit there you go just be normal just be normal

yep do the barbecue don't let anyone find out that you're an octopus yep just pick up the goddamn hamburger and put it on the grill

notice that the goal of all of these games is be normal yeah and that's the challenge the bare minimum for human interaction

and in survival horror it is also be normal yeah except there are there are paranormal things happening

there are obstacles that will bite you but if you just be normal you'll be okay yeah you know

run through the forest back to the castle no problem but what if you can't tell when to turn that corner because the bridge is

coming up on you sooner than you thought or what if you hit the camera button a few too many times and lose all fucking sense of where north is

as long as you hold up cause you're lost in the forest do you know why cause you're scared cause you're so scared cause you're scared what if you're swinging

that bat at that enemy that actual piece of shit and that enemy is right there but then you change the camera away from you

damn but it looked like he was right there do you know why you couldn't tell where he was cause I was scared cause you were so scared cause I was terrified

it's such a fucking easy answer to every complaint that genre ever had like the silent hill team got away with it for years going

it's hard to control and your character's bad at shooting because they're just regular dudes it's so genius go play it it's good

if you want to see me play it with punch mom who does a fantastic angry as pat doing her best to play the role of pat

and doing her best to lie to the people and create some sort of weird oh no fictional persona oh no

you can check that out on the twitch woolly versus I will of course be putting that on the YouTube as well

where you can catch that and oh I should probably yeah I gotta let Solidus know to not cut that into a highlight cause it'd be better off being a whole

complete play also go check it you can check it out at mystery castle superbies just type that in a google and that the author creator

programmer person maker was R-E-M-E-R-A-I Remerai from Sweden possibly question mark

you get brought to the itch.io page where you can take a download they did a good job and you should give them props yes so that's free

as well yeah and then of course on the main channel we yeah so I'm

currently uh going through Indivisible currently started Death Stranding should be cracked open soon and Naruto

and TBD TBD on Naruto TBD on all of that over on woolly vs please enjoy if you want to check out me playing fucking

goddamn Outer Wilds and Death Stranding and I'm gonna check out that Star Wars game on Friday too you can check me out over twitch.tv slash

Angri's Pat that's twitch.tv slash Angri's Pat I also occasionally guest star over on twitch.tv slash

Peach Saliva who I believe is gonna be doing if this is Monday for you stream later tonight check that out as well I don't know

if I'm gonna be there I might be lazy I'll probably be off screen just playing with my dick let's take a quick word from our sponsors let's do that

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and passion for sharing the joy of baked goods I'm gonna tell you I'm having a literal problem listening to you describe delicious sugary food in front of me right now as I am starving

why are you doing this you can possibly get your cookies by visiting a bakery but how much trouble is that significant nowadays you can have them sent straight to where you are

gourmet gift tins baskets full of fresh baked cookies let me just let me wheel that back you're killing me here gourmet gift tins and baskets full of fresh baked

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because they're cookies man can I load up those cookies with like a family photo and like a happy birthday to distract the delivery man from the fact that I'm buying a bunch of cookies to just eat

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and you'll know already as you shovel them in oh man buy a gift for yourself treat yourself or others dude but also yourself

is cookies how do I have to sell this it's very simple yeah what are we doing ads for cookies who need like cookies or cookies cookies or cookies you love them

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your cookies are on the way we're selling cookies guys we're selling cookies we're selling cookies thanks mrsfield thanks mrsfields get your cookies what are you doing

not getting cookies you crazy eat up enjoy it's delicious check the news guess what what

not a lot happened this week yeah everybody got out of Death Stranding's way not a lot happened this week yeah I mean it's fine we talked for a while about Death Stranding yeah that's good you guys got your content

you know what the girthiest thing that happened is did you pay attention we talked about it a little bit but did you pay attention at all to this fifa stuff no actually okay so what fifa's are we talking about here

fifa fifa football the sockers yeah there is a guys there's no news about pokemon pokemon socks that's the news

I'm not I'm tired of that some people look some people like it some people don't that's fine the new ones bad hashtag thank you game freak

whatever you want to do with that that's good for you oh what that's a thing yeah that's fucking stupid I mean whatever man it's fine I don't hashtag Charizard can suck my asshole

how about that listen if you like it you're good if you don't that's fine too I know I'm not I'm not here for that we covered it we're good we're done I'm some

like anyway pokemon um no it's just getting really bad oh I know it's getting really bad you know

I just wrote the game off in my mind a few weeks ago and now I'm done no but I mean I'm saying it's like it's getting bad out there between pokemon fans and pokemon like oh that's fine

they can fucking kick this up to bloodsport yeah which is why I'm saying I don't want to go anywhere that let's talk about the football oh yeah so a group

known for their calm demeanor and integrity yeah so the short version of this is that there was a huge scandal that hit the world of virtual soccer

this weekend because basically there's a weekend league that the game has where more or less the top players are all a lot of them are like out there on social media

they're content creators and they're like yeah sure and they're kind of trying to get into the qualification for the FIFA E World Cup sure

right there's legit prizes that you can buy with the in-game currency and there's stuff that would cost hundreds of pounds and there's things that you can win

like legit by alright getting into this so there's stuff on the line so basically someone who makes videos about this stuff noticed

that oh boy when he so he made a video about it Run the Foot Market his name is Nick Bartels he's a streamer who

has a big following and yeah what we basically it says there and what was covered was that he connected to a game to play and noticed that

he was getting immediately disconnected with yeah and didn't quite know what was going on and what happens in some cases

is when someone disconnects from you like there's ways that you can force both players to disconnect from a match and it marks both as a loss

right right and there's ways to like basically kind of cheat or whatever but the reason why this kind of became a suspect was because

the system that people are being rewarded with are the way that the Champions League is kind of like choosing prioritizing who wins or who gets those invitations

is based on your win-loss ratio of course it's not based on the quality of your match or who you fight or what the points are or anything like an elo

just pure KD it's just raw KD fucking sick so really good players have no incentive to play against really good players

when they get the exact same thing for playing against really bad players right to get their win ratio up so they put a lot of writing for these people

this is fucking stupid the dumbest possible system you could have oh my god it's kind of it's kind of insane how big that oversight is but

so here's what happens right everyone that's really good at this game gets together in a discord that originally was just not about this but very quickly became a let's not fight each other discord ever

because fuck that there's nothing to gain from us competing with each other and furthermore they can actually like dodge on each other and target

like people like him the guy who's making videos or another player by when he's streaming they can like target and bomb matches against them instead and like

if they connect to him and then disconnect and force the disconnect it counts as a loss on both sides but that loss that he's taking like drops his eligibility yeah and if they all do it to him once at the same time

then he takes a whole bunch he doesn't get that spot and he doesn't make it into that final qualifier someone else does and you know some people even were had like

chat logs and things of people being saying salty things like him getting in would result in a video that makes more money off of YouTube than I will have made all around or whatever so there's basically grand conspiracy to bomb these players

out of getting their placement because it's all about your win ratio I have a couple quick questions anything else before I say anything one there is real monetary gain associated with the system you can gain funds or items worth funds

you can gain items worth funds alright that's my only question this is straight up old-fashioned match fixing yes 100% if this were baseball

football, etc the fucking FBI would be investigating this as a major crime now it's not those things and the money is not the same but it's just straight up fucking match fixing it's match fixing

combined with like stream sniping for like it's oh man there's just two facets to it right there's the match fixing where they don't fight each other and then there's like running into his matches

and blowing up his spot because of the way the system works I'm gonna give a straight up shout out to a commenter named Hen Bay who nails it perfectly finally eSports are like real sports that's solid

congratulations FIFA eSports you've made it you're just as fucked up as the real thing well not true I mean the FIFA shit isn't being run by slavery but it'll get there one day I'm sure so

yeah after going into an investigation as to what's going on and making like a big video about it he was basically able to find through screenshots and other stuff through this discord and whatever that like tons and tons of top players

and professional FIFA players were all in on this and there were unlike it wasn't just like a bunch of like random griefers and or people that were hopefuls it was people that were already there mm-hmm you know and

it very quickly just kind of turned into a like like yeah if you want to get into that top 100 you better start getting in on the match fixing game be part of the FIFA Luminati just do it and like legit just disconnect bomb

on people who you don't want to make it if they're better players than you what's the problem so yeah pretty busted up system and apparently disconnects happens regularly either way

because EA servers will right so it's extra difficult to tell so there are sometimes legitimate disconnects oh that's perfect that have nothing to do with the players so it mixes right in oh it's all it's just really bad day for the servers man

yeah yeah yeah that's good that's good so EA yeah EA did respond and they're imposing a two qualifier ban on one of the players that was

very popular and was outed for cheating here and fix the system it's the system that's the problem well right now they're just they're suspending the player and citing the code of conduct and so on

and so forth but the actual video game and the actual way that you've put the rules together encourages cheating so that's not good enough to fix your problem unfortunately

so yeah in other words hand people a gun and tell them not to shoot just don't do it and if you do shoot then you'll get rewarded for it but don't shoot

just don't do it wink yeah so football is in chaos again hmm

are those games trash anyway I don't know I liked ISS I don't even know what that is International Superstar Soccer is that like a Neo Geo game no it came late in that there was a 64 there's an N64 one

okay it was an alternate alternate brand of soccer game yeah then there was PES that's true yeah yeah there's other there was other non FIFA games before FIFA just thinking could this

could this situation like Mega Man soccer could this situation even occur in the FGC because of the first thought that I had is like I wonder if they could get away with it I'm like no no group of FGC players isn't going to have the guy that just comes out

and goes oh yeah they're totally tall fucking skin right like there's I feel like there's too many people in that community who don't give a fuck well in this case to be in a conspiracy

in this case the fact that this player was also a content creator and like was on the receiving end of like this targeted attack yeah like allowed him to

discover this was happening to begin with you should have you should have you try to try to get him in with you instead this shit might not happen yeah I guess but every

everyone you allow in is a slot that you don't get right yeah but now a lot of people aren't getting any no but if they didn't do if they didn't do this part of it then they probably could have gotten away with the not fighting each other

you know what they should have done right hmm made just made him go away with money oh but then but they're trying to win money yeah

fake money also that's really incriminating that's like a big boy crime yeah but what are you going to do get the curtain fall that's fucking EA they get the who cares

just it's just it's the video game it's just the footy yeah so anyway that's that's kind of a crazy scandal that cracked open beyond that

not a ton you know what I mean like there's a couple of announcements and then there's hey well this is like a no-brainer to be honest I don't know why it's not loading up but

just fuck you that's why well obviously it was only a matter of time before Smash Ultimate cracked the record for best-selling fighting game of all time yeah that's a really it beats Street Fighter 2 I'm

I think the shocking thing isn't that Street Fighter 2 has been in there for three decades yeah it's not that Smash was the winner it's that SF2 was the was the one to beat all the way up until 2019 yeah yeah

Street Fighter held that 15.5 for a very long time yeah that was the biggest and now just think of how many more units it could have sold if they had some balls

and put my in well quite frankly for 15 million of that 15.5 million if you just take Ken Ryu and go to Suzaku Castle it's the same game anyway

yeah they like they're not going to notice the difference right there's 0.5 million people that might notice the difference but

most of them wouldn't because it's all there anyway yeah so yeah basically all of video games and the history of every character that you care about coming together

yeah that's going to outside yeah it's going to win the thing no fucking yeah it's going to do it congratulations Smash Ultimate developers congratulations

congratulations and they're not even done yet they're not even done yet we got we got like three or four more or whatever we got more characters coming

with more boomer inputs that's these boomers man they can just do this shit in their sleep because they're old it's like whatever what is this stupid character can't do this stuff

and it's like he wanted to be faithful hey guess what guys sacrifice a boomer so he knows those boomer inputs yeah fucking good he showed everybody

yeah good children he fought the CPU on hard um it's not even about like oh we can do these hard inputs you can't it's just more about like there's inputs in my game this is

this is no not even that it's just he's trying to be faithful for every character that he's putting in the game yeah so why

let him do that like I can't believe power guys or has that fucked up stupid motion in it it's not that hard to do it just looks hideous on the fucking

like manless sheet are you okay boomer wolf yeah cherry does have a lot of boomer energy he does

yeah just wait for holy order soul to get dropped into this bitch and to do his instant kill holy uh

uh dragon install that's not shut up that's not real what no did you know

I mean soul getting into smashed I'm like are you fucking doubting no of course not holy order souls instant kill I've seen it

I've seen you do it you remember the fucking string on that yeah it's bullshit every do the jab at a certain timing and all that crap everyone

everyone's it's all about that deadly rave Neo I'm about that it's all about it's all about I can do Neo deadly rave

it's all about dragon install sekai uh half circle back forward s p

k h s k h half circle back forward s

and they're all different timings they're like dragon install it's the worst shit destroyed it's bullshit blazing it is

it's the smell of the the game bullshit fuck um I got that out once in training mode and never again

so I've still to date never done geese's raging storm in a match oh that's unfortunate but

uh I do like instant kills that you earn in the form of uh you know a combo as opposed to just the the raw try

yeah so I like how you can do it now at the end of round two uh anyway so yeah some announcements remember watam no

the cute game that uh kata takahashi was working on kind of okay well the catamari guy yeah who after he was done making

uh parks for kids and noby noby boy mmhmm he made watam and it's coming out in december

on the 17th and that's the game where you just play these cute little characters with hats that eat each other and then they stack up on top of each other and they're all just

walking around playing and having a fun time there's a ring of bell nah I bet you if you saw it for like one second you might remember it I mean it looks like

his work but I'm not getting nothing out of this looks cute though yep big golden shit anyway games come in december 17th

yay I trust kata takahashi I like what he does so that should be a lot of fun but he makes toys more than he makes games

yeah keep that in mind there's not always a goal it's more just like play with the thing and see what happens um japan is also getting

uh cybertroopers virtual on masterpiece cool 1995 to 2001 uh this is a collection that is

dropping with cybertroopers virtual on cybertroopers virtual on oratorio tangram uh and uh

oh excuse me oratorio tangram msbs version 5.66 and virtual on force uh which are all compatible with the twin stick controller

have online and tournament battles league battles team battles et cetera coming out to ps4 uh

in november I really really really really really hope they port this collection that'd be fucking sick cause every generation needs more virtual on

and if we're not gonna get a new virtual on this will do and I'm not talking about that um dating sim one I'm shedding a tear

the virtual for this being the virtual franchise that gets to continue to get releases I mean of all the choices this ain't a bad one

it could have been cop you're man it could have been cop virtual cop 3 is pretty good yeah but it's in a world where time crisis

exists mmm and bone eater silent scope I don't know man time crisis virtual cops pretty good

and bone eater exist mmm house of the dead also exists see now you're talking my language I'll admit I played

almost all of the new ones I don't think any of them are any as good as like anything that came out after time crisis too virtual cop is fine

but there's so many other good like shooters out there I'm saying like time crisis 3 onwards and house of the dead 3 onwards

so if you're going to pick a virtual to push it's you know I'm fine with on those things run on Dreamcasts there's that

there's a little leak like very very slight but you know over at USJ they're working on a Nintendo world

I do well a little bit of a peak over the crack of the construction was seen someone took a picture as you're walking through

USJ you can kind of get a little little little peak of what it's going to look like and it's basically just like Yoshi's Island oh that's cute

I like that yeah and there's even the the second picture and then the third one where it's just like it's all over the fence you can barely

barely get a glimpse but they're building a real-life Yoshi's Island style environment as promised in that little

trailer video where Mario ran around and then all the customers were like these you know there were these

scared girls that were like oh my god it's Mario remember that thing yeah I can't believe it took this long for us to get into this yeah that's what I'm

thinking about it's like it's universal it's not Disney it's kind of crazy that it took this long to get here but here it is like Mario's like

a big deal such a big deal you might one of the things that they're in the the concept 3D trailer thing they have a big Bowser's

castle yeah that shit sounds like it's going to be pretty cool to walk into with real lava I hope that they throw the kids in

I want lava rotating things oh yeah that's what I want that's what I want pay for it you burn it you bought those

burns Mario did if you fail crossing the bridge well and then it just segues right into the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the segues right into searing gas pain land

there's also an axe that kids get to play with yeah it's been 25 years I'm still cracking up at searing gas pain land searing gas

pain land that's right it's one of the it's one of the fucking when they go to itching scratchy world ah it's one of the

it's like murder land chopped up land and then one searing gas pain land yeah it's the worst one

unnecessary surgery land yeah that's yeah that's the other one yeah and last but certainly not least a lot of things are happening in China

yeah and a lot of things a lot of companies desperately want to do business in China particularly those in the online video game space but this has nothing to do

with that oh it doesn't this is something else completely oh I'm thinking of something different yeah this is a completely different story happening in terms of

video games in China alright let's hit it China imposes online gaming curfews for kids to prevent addiction no this is exactly what I was talking about enforced with a government

database you killed my segue it was it was good this is I don't know about businesses trying to work with China

this story is about China creating a fucking space and like having a rule set well I just think it's funny that if you're a video game company

that desperately wants to work with China and then made a fucking ass to themselves that'd be really really fucking hilarious if the government

then said by the way we're imposing severe limits on your ability to actually make any fucking money are you trying to get to plat and overwatch hope you can do that

at an hour and a half per day oh fuck and three hours on holidays the South China Morning Post reports that a new anti-addiction measure had measures have been

outlined by the state administration and press publications aka China's gaming regulator including limits on spending and playable playtime and in online games

yeah the other thing is there's a limit on spending in the games as well those under the age of 18 will now be limited to one and a half hours per day except on holidays

when they can play for three hours on a holiday you're allowed double time yeah which must take place between the hours of 8 a.m. and 10 p.m.

spending is being limited too with kids no longer allowed to spend more than about 44 pounds on in-game purchases per month players under 8 are restricted from purchasing anything at all

and of course those too young to play the game under the age-rating system will be blocked from access and yes they have a real-time registration system with real names

and a database that 10 cent introduced that they'll be able to enforce this good thing there's no online games you'd want to play

late at night if you're 16 or 17 years old for more than an hour so did you get like a day off and you're trying to become some sort of professional streamer or

you're trying to become a game developer or you're trying to just follow your hobby wherever it may take you or like

try and stop jerking off for like a second and do something else with your hands now that we are in a future where careers based on video games

are very existent and they're still stupid though don't for don't they're totally but it's a thing that exists and way to nip that

100% in the bud by saying no you're not allowed to ever do that well you know what video games do willy they corrupt the youth

now there's some big boomer energy state boomer energy damn is china the biggest boomer of them all 1000% damn

curfew yo what are you doing staying up late but I want to play my xbox are you 18 go to bed at 10 pm noooo

but I I my job is night shift I have a job that's night shift and no you don't and it requires me to be

at work from 6 pm to like noon just don't sleep what if I can only play video games I guess you just can't play video games

get fucked says Winnie the Pooh oh no damn that's like it's fucking salty as shit that Chris Robin beat him in that pitching contest I mean like this

so this you know was yes I did say an 18 hour shift that's the point of what I was saying it is what he was saying that was a very deliberate

it was a joke it was a joke about working conditions that was that was a deliberate choice get on get on board boomer chat

I don't know come on man it was intentional I feel like boomerism is becoming a pseudo witch hunt because you can just point at anything and say it's a boomer now yeah but it's also becoming a country oh man

more importantly it's getting stronger on the daily man more importantly like this sucks for a lot of kids yeah well a lot and I'm sure they have much more important things that sucks

that they should probably be worried about I guess yes for sure for sure for sure for sure no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt but I guess I just thought that somehow in the in the mix where everybody's already pretty like

what the fuck are you guys doing that they would like chill but why would they chill that's insane why would a government chill no that's insane

that's not that's the wrong turn of phrase I don't expect China to chill China has to you used to be cool man China has no chill that's insane that's not what I mean

what I mean is you would think they would not invite more bullshit don't give a shit I guess not the fuck do you it's just crazy timing is all yeah it's it's really funny

it's crazy timing to roll out something that's so absolutely batshit oh yeah on top of all the batshit things are already happening totally but then again people are in cross-concentration camps so what are you gonna do your video game time is the least of your worries I suppose

back to video games for an hour and a half uh oh this podcast has lasted longer than that guess you'll have to finish it tomorrow can you listen to a podcast for longer than depends if we're classified as a video game I don't think our podcast would be allowed

in the country right now probably not but you could play mystery of castle super beast maybe even get part way through it if it's a holiday hold on I don't believe there are any skeletons in that game

no there aren't it's good get to go there is a like creepy monster thing that looks almost like a skeleton it's pretty freaky

but it's made of like root it's like elongated yeah it's weird it's made of root so technically we're okay it's a brown skeleton but it's not quite a skeleton and we don't know if it's gay or not

it doesn't really come up it doesn't seem pertinent at the time see but if you see two skeletons holding hands yeah how do you know what they were you can tell by the hips oh yeah the hips true true true true true

so it's not banned outright you have to analyze the hips first yeah if they look the same I don't I'm gonna be really real I very much don't want to go into this conversation because I know way too much

via osmosis about skeletons I don't want to talk about it I don't want to talk about it we're trying I'm just trying to dunk on china I know I know but I am scarred

by my proximity to skeleton degeneracy well that's ruined it sure is let's take some letters hey if you want to send in I don't even trust myself with this fucking email read where where do you send them castlesuperbeastmailatgmail.com

letters coming in they sound like this I can't fucking believe I thought that fucking cotton came off of sheeps that's bad that's so bad that's a bad one you thought my ancestors were hurting sheep

no I didn't but I thought it for one second it's a whole lot easier yeah it'd be very different it'd be really different whole lot easier yeah doing things that way

yeah would be yeah would be if you fucking you want your alternate history fucking documentary hit that one what if America had many sheeps we'd be Scandinavia

I don't know about the the Scandinavian even have sheeps yeah oh I'm not familiar with the Scandinavian sheep situation there's lots of sheeps over there that's nice the only place I know has tons of sheep

is Wales because they're well known as sheep fuckers New Zealand has a bunch too they brought them over on the boat oh yeah didn't become the sheeps did not become a

dingo style problem over New Zealand no the stout became the problem I don't know what the fuck that is what is that that's the thing that kills the Kiwis but what is it is it a bird

no it's a land mammal okay it's kind of like a weasel-esque okay it kills people kills the Kiwis okay wait

do you mean New Zealanders or do you mean the bird the bird fuck why is everything on that side of the planet so fucking weird the first part of your sentence yeah you know what answer the second part

yeah your question yeah alright southeast hemisphere what's up with you stop it hey man they brought whatever they wanted with them

to the island what a fucking bad decision actually it's great there's nothing wild that's really gonna get you yeah Australia is full of its own ecosystem

yeah of terrors but New Zealand it was like what do we want with us was New Zealand kind of empty empty there was nothing there

oh New Zealand had no animals on it outside of like fish birds and like some bugs and stuff

oh those are cow there was no land animals until humans brought them over ah just fucking do whatever huh that's why it's so pristine because everything is controlled

so you can wander out miles into the fucking into the the brush and you're not gonna worry about a fucking mountain lion only thing you gotta worry about is

hobbits because like did anyone bring a bear on a boat over nah man then you're good yeah it's crazy I don't know that about New Zealand

that's what I learned when I went over there it was all brought over that seems much smarter than literally everything that was ever done in Australia yes of course you can't

not bring rats with you because fuck they're gonna hop on good luck it's super hard they can't swim they're gonna hop on but um

they need the boat but that's gonna be your problem and the stout and the origins of how the stout got there are you know that's another story because it's like what asshole

brought the thing that's gonna fuck up the other things I thought we tried specifically to not ah land masses are big you can't stop everybody they know what

the situation yeah you know but yeah let's see here Jakey says hey woolly and pat I've been playing the wolves

recently found this game looks and feels not just good to play but it looks not just good but it feels just right like a positive version of the enigma of the amigara fault

where it fits how I want it to feel it feels like it was meant for me do you ever experience these gaming goldilocks moments and what is your favorite thanks for the free funny

also thank you for helping me thanks woolly for helping me get into a fatal fury series and snk fighting games in general you might have ruined me on everything else in the genre rock is life

terry's hometown I don't care what anyone says pat I mean I don't think you have any beef with that but I don't care for rock I don't feel strongly though I love

but you know why I like rock yeah it's not just because it's your weeaboo no it's not just because he's ah young cool hip fresh

take on the franchise it's cause my favorite thing in fighting games is the passage of time and his entire existence represents the passage of time

yeah he's a mixture of two characters that you never ever ever ever ever thought would mix ever yeah it's the brat of shit and no pretzel like it's the ending of

a fighting game turned canon yeah that never happens yeah and it it went back to not happen geese falls off of every building all the time forever

so the thought that they would make a game where the consequences of that result come to fruition yeah feels so cool and the rest of the cast is also that

you got hukudamaru he's the fucking descendant of the andes clan with the ninja training in the shiranui nimpou

you've got the kim brothers doing their father's work you've got ryo sakazaki's student doing his own thing yeah it was good stuff

you got a ton of students it's awesome to see the passage of time I can't believe that the fucking hukumaru isn't their son like nah

he's a street kid but come on man he's some fucking street kid come on dandy what are you doing nothing at all

what are you doing man no way my it's so like it's so oh

no way I hate it she can't get into smash she can't get him to smash hey that whole game represents the passage of time yeah

if it wasn't so fun and it didn't look so beautiful and sound so great I would still absolutely love the fact that it's like yo look at that

you know in the same way that I love the fact that even though the game sucks old haomaru does exist in future samurai showdown 64

oh my god I don't even know that yeah he's got the gray hair and it's terrible I mean that's cool you're right that is cool but

buriki one has real in it as mr karate yeah that's great he takes the fucking he puts on the black key

his hair is white he's an older man takuma's gone does he put the mask on no mask ah okay it's fantastic the passage of time

yeah what game is your game in goldilocks like it's not the best example but the one that

springs to mind immediately is that when sonic generations came out I jumped like once and was like no bad wrong and then

when sonic mania came out I jumped once and was like yep nailed it game's great I literally could have put it down and never played it again

and told you that it was fantastic but like the instant you there's like a certain physics to characters jump dragon's dog I felt that way

like moving around in dragon's dogma like this is good this is a good game I can tell right now it's good yeah it was a okay I didn't know

whether it was 64 or warrior's rage it was warrior's rage okay there you go it was the other Sam show the other bad 3d one there's something really special about picking up a game and moving your character

like four feet and being like yep this is good this is a good one yes n plus the moment you jump and float

and control and DI you're you're run and you're jump in the momentum picks up I'm like oh this is this is meant for me

n plus the feeling of running and jumping in that game is just like fucking amazing I want to say the the

Bangio feels really nice as well just moving around and aiming and shooting and dodging the missiles feels pretty fucking fun as well like it's just tight

and the first time I played Sengoku 3 I remember that like juggling an enemy and then dashing after

I launched the enemy and then doing an like a meter special afterwards and being like oh fuck this

this is a beat em up that has a full juggle system and lets you go from one thing to another to another however you want I was like yeah yeah yeah yeah

absolutely controls are criminally underrated in almost every game ever the exact speed at which you move the ship in Icaruga yeah

the exact speed at which you turn honestly you know what it's a really good example right now is Death Stranding for a game that in which

literally all you do is walk it's vital that when you walk out of that cave it's like good going down that slope

right you know the very first level of the game I know what you're talking about for me it's I'm like yeah good you did it there's something that so 3D games are fine

but there's something about like like pixel precision that they don't have oh yeah that is what makes me go mm

you know very like wow boomer I it's not even about that it's not even about that it's just that like there aren't

a ton of examples of it mm you know or like if there are like any game where like you just kind of have that level of like

just the moment you touch the controls it feels really good um there's some there's an imprecision yeah right

and I'm but what I love is the precision you know so those games I all listed are super 2D mm

because you can put very very precise feelings on like we gotta get a lighting situation I can I can do something well I mean

we're near the end of the pocket so it doesn't really matter but like the light situation in Canada right now is bad there God doesn't want you to see us

yep ooh Katana Zero I should have said that great example and that's 2D yeah it is it has to be

no it doesn't it kinda does like there could be examples in 3D that way but the 3D things would have to do a guilty gear

excerpt ask attempt at mimicking this and there aren't a ton of examples of it but I love that precision

you know yeah Katana Zero feels fantastic right away um good question

thanks I always thought the Kingdom Hearts games actually felt incredible like very smooth mm float jump yeah you do

yeah that's the first thing I noticed is like you hover as you move through the air yeah um of course character action

is what it is I mean that's what it is that's the whole genre if it doesn't control well the game's trash yeah the drake says dear live streamer

melanin scale cast uh I bet buying those custom controllers with the with the stream LP money was great it's probably not the best thing your internet careers can afford you

so I ask what's the best benefit that comes with being an internet person you've experienced so far um I just spent the weekend playing a video game starring me

that that's pretty good that's it that's what it is when people tell me I'm funny it makes my dick get bigger which is good because it's always good

when your dick gets bigger yeah fan stuff yeah I mean yeah fan stuff is the best I'm a small man that gets to feel like a big man did you know that you're statistically more likely to be louder

and angrier I think Napoleon complex is a long standing fucking thing I think you know what it's one of those things it's like here's a study that proves the dogs

love their owners yeah we knew that yeah we knew that yeah those those pop up every once in a while you know why? because being short sucks ass

do you remember the first time you asked me how tall I was yeah do you remember my answer I'm tall and new if I remember right no that's what you heard

oh yeah I'm going off of like no memory that's fucking insane that's fucking insane that that's what your brain went wop wop wop wop wop yeah and just filtered it into that

yeah sure fuck it my answer was I don't know oh you son of a bitch that's even worse who cares a lot of people yeah

back then to be fair I didn't know that like like girls even cared that much I only started hearing about that I think the shittiest thing you ever said to me

in my life was you coming up to me to give me a genuine apology to be like oh man pat I thought girls didn't care about being tall or short but now I know

it must be really hard for you I'm sorry for making fun about you complaining for being short and I was like thanks woolly and then I cried it was the most fucking little brag shit ever

I hate it it literally just is not it's not a piece of data that was on my leaderboard when I cycle through the different groupings of rankings that was not one

because I just gave no shits the first time I encountered anything about that that I can recall because I definitely when you're a kid you encounter a bunch of shit you encounter all sorts of crazy shit I encountered nothing I can remember

but the first thing I do remember the person is a dude that was in our grade in high school that was going out with this super hot amazingly nice like just great person and then just after a couple months

broke up with her because couldn't deal with the fact that she was taller than him can't handle it couldn't deal with it and I got mad because I'm like

you're a fool like the fact that that matters to you you're a fool woolly it's like dude I look up and she's like a little taller and I basically die yeah well guess what

you're a coward yeah well I would love a giant like I would love to look up of course you of course you do because you're tall I'm all I'm saying is

I like the idea that that's the metric and everything else is wonderful and you're just dumped this girl out of nowhere like fuck what a jerk right and everyone

rightfully made fun of him because it's like oh now you're in security it's just all plain to see you've bathed it everyone can see it it smells oh yeah yeah yeah

you got a bucket and just you carried yourself well didn't you think it was suspicious that there were a lot of girls that you knew knew better that kept ending up with shittier and shittier boyfriends that only had a single

physical attribute in common and that that was they were really tall no that didn't happen oh really I knew tons of girls that didn't happen in my school not that much no like there were girls that just like

were like yo I like the black guys I'm gonna hang out with this group of people and then there were girls that were like yeah I like like the athletes I'm also hang out with the same group of people and then there were girls that were just like yeah I'm into like the nerdy group

and I'm a one nerd and I hang out with those and people just kind of hooked up amongst themselves with their own you know for the most part and then there were the people that were just like neither in between you know and the neither in between

just kind of like ended up with whoever yeah but there I didn't overall notice that as a particular thing slash there was usually another trait that was more applicable

yeah you know like so yeah I don't know when you're small you see the world in tallness values and you become bitter yeah

that guy that learned how to play guitar in the hallway oh my god what about him he never got he never got a girlfriend really didn't work out everyone saw through that shit

really it worked out for every guy that I ever knew that played the guitar no it super didn't work out for him everyone just went ugh the guy I know played the guitar in the hallway I went to his wedding a couple years ago and happily married

that's good for him yeah we had wait a second but he wasn't still doing the guitar bit when he met his wife wow well there you go when he was older and it didn't work out for him at the time

maybe you need to have a band oh the band's a free pass the band is a free pass yeah but uh but the solo troubadour

yeah not quite cutting it in my experience yeah cowards all of them all of them every single one

fuck that guy still but still but heard about it to this day um woolly could you handle every day knowing that you were like a inch or two shorter

than your woman I oh my god dude why not just handing your balls I would thoroughly thoroughly be fine with that

like no for real though as somebody who's I would be super okay with that as somebody who's short and like Paige is like even though Paige is short Paige is still a couple inches taller than me the idea of guys being like

oh my god okay please she talk is like so fucking laughable it's so fucking laughable like fucking get over it yeah no I want to wake up

and roll over are we are we and just here we indulge in this shit shadow of the colossus music start playing oh see I thought you were going to go with what I thought you were going to go with is like

Phi Phi Fo Fo no no I want to I want to walk home and get there and just here duh duh

duh duh duh duh I want to cry alright everybody and find that fucking weak spot alright everybody

there it is I found it we've established that woolly has a fucking super intense giant test fetish he is a macro file to the max have at it with your

with your shit oh no my grip meter ran out oh fuck this I'm falling this is terrible I need backup oh man aggro

what is this joke sucks this needs to stop hold my sword up to the sun lead me help me find the next this bit is terrible lighten up that cigarette like

duh duh duh duh cowards all of them all cowards Alex says

dear Patton woolly you've been catching up I've been catching up on the near-automata LP and without getting into specifics there's a moment where a DLC item description blatantly spoils a particular detail of the upcoming

oh really that sucks I had this UI spoiler happen in a particularly bad Shadowbringers case where the main story plays it up as if you're going to the finale to resolve a big main issue but then you open up the map and you can clearly see there's another

big-ass zone left to explore have you ever been shafted with UI spoilers before the Shadowbringers one is really really really really bad if the Shadowbringers final zone is split into two areas and the one looks very different than the other

and if you log out and log back in the loading screen is of the big spoiler area what are you losing in that stop it strap in my 3d maneuver gear irregular, dead ahead

I really hate this really a lot NAE for the neck baby let's go Stop it you stop it the wings of freedom I hate him there she is stop it, this is terrible

I hate it fucking talk about the email god you're freaking me out here well yeah whenever you do the thing on the map the map gives away that there's more to explore

you like way more that's stupid because we solved that problem back on battle clash on metal combat 2 on the super nintendo where when you clear out the map then it scrolls up

off of planet earth and goes to space and all you have to do is make the map scroll a little bit over or in a couple other games actually where the map is static for the whole time and then suddenly it just moves or zooms out

that's all you had to do there's a minor ui spoiler that I actually got in Death Stranding which is I got a fucking mission to carry 130 kilos worth of material somewhere despite the fact that the max weight I could possibly carry is 130 kilos

and I was like well I guess I'm going to get something that lets me carry more then this is very minor so minor that I don't feel bad about even mentioning it here but but don't ignore that the next time

you're going through it yeah that sucks you don't want things to just clearly indicate what's up I can't think of anywhere just like an item description just fucking goes and just ruins it all but I definitely

was really bad once they added those fucking item texts in they'd show random item descriptions which would talk about the nightmare and bosses who hadn't fought yet I feel like it's something that I encounter it in a game and then when it happens

in the moment I go like oh my god there it is now let me remember this for the podcast question I'm going to get in nine months it totally happens I mean it's the reason why we recognize boss fountains when we see them oh man

and a safe tent right next to it let's take one here from shyranger says hey capsule super leased was rewatching Detroit Become Human episode zero you guys are going over bingo ideas and one of the last suggested ones is

game will be lavished and praised on release but then forgotten in two years it was definitely praised on release and it's been over a year and it feels like it's already out of the mindscape seems like heavy rain is the one that's mainly remembered agree or disagree I would agree with that heavy rains the one

people making games still talk about heavy rain being like I want to make a game like heavy rain no Detroit didn't have an impact even when it had like even the stuff that did well it still just kind of it is not as talked about at all it got ported again

the other day you know I think David cage really fucked it up by like by insisting that the game didn't mean anything they're just questions they're just questions and it's just about robot that's I think that's not true that's a random interview that no one that played the game is actually paying attention to

sure right that's us taking a taking press into account okay nothing to do with David cage really fucked up by being a moral coward well maybe but again people who only played the game who don't know who's David cage is you can feel the cowardice though people who taste it people who

don't know are still making their opinions and not talking about it I think it's it's telling more so that like people talk more about telltale games still then they do about this big crazy android project and a good telltale games are ages old now yeah like

those are still the defining story games that we go to even though things have come before and after and and and there's been other games like that that you know but like those take a certain place in like our landscape for like narrative when we discuss

like story heavy games and yeah Detroit didn't even take two years to get to that point I still think the thumbnail Jeff used for his video on Detroit summed up the whole fucking thing so much

so well you remember what it was let's press X to emancipate oh good last one coming in from uh Cod mitts their limit breakers so man have you seen

how do you feel about joke characters getting buffed and I don't mean I don't mean like right in to revet from mgs2 to revengeance I mean like if Dan were to be introduced in 2005 and his it's like a real character and suddenly on par with Ryu or Ken should they stay joke characters is it

funnier that they're stronger now or is there any characters you'd like to see buffed I think joke characters being put on the roster only makes sense when the roster is gigantic because otherwise you're like why the fuck did you put this loser in uh I disagree I think joke characters are fine to exist in the roster no matter what the size as

long as they have a path if there's a clear path to win with the joke character yeah then it becomes real but if they're just trash then it's pointless yeah so Dan is like you can win with Dan though you gotta do some fucking work yeah but it's viable

some people actually word Dan mains right in Street Fighter 4 uh but I think that when you give them a path to win where there's a thing they can do to make it like oh it's not a joke anymore well then you get phoenix right yeah and phoenix right is one of the best characters ever put into a fighting game

you're right it's perfect he's a shit garbage joke character that becomes super real when you follow his path it becomes the realest and that's what I want yeah make Dan have a path to victory and then

you make him really fun to play you know uh that's the way to handle it keep the joke in place I always wish that Dan would get a version in somewhere where the super taunt was actually the shit or is actually really good yeah oh but in this what I would do

if I were to design Dan is I would make his taunts installs the more you do the taunt you get a real move you do the taunt you get a real move or a buff on something yeah that'd be good yeah right and you're incentivized to keep taunting to keep

your character good you know sin has to keep eating to keep his food the idea of a future Street Fighter in which Dan is like slowly crawling his way out of the trash can is really appealing to me very much so you know I want him to be

kind of fat to get Steven Stegald Stegald that's correct I said it that way yeah that's good I want that to happen to him and I want that taunt meter to just like fill up a bar that slowly goes down and then if you don't taunt again then he doesn't get his good moves

but at the peak of that move it's a really good move you know force it, make a system there work around it, have fun with the character Dan are you actually fighting for real that being said riding in

Revengeance is also a really fun way to go but it's kind of the place you go when you have nowhere else to go it's completely changed every part of the character Jack was done as a character he came and he was done he wrapped his story up in half a game and then you go

well here's this and now for something completely different so yeah I think that would be super fun what's going on I'm going to play Death Stranding and Outer Worlds

and Star Wars this week that Star Wars game I don't know if it's any good but I want it to be good, cool it'd be nice I'm going to play Indivisible, I'm going to play Death Stranding I'm going to play does anyone really

play Death Stranding I'm going to get played by Death Stranding oh fuck get ready for some fucking insufferable YouTube analysis and then I'm going to like play another game

and what that game is will be determined by what YouTube can do YouTube's never let us down yet alright we'll see you guys next week fuck it Stark get like 6 hours daylight

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