Castle Super Beast - CSB 049: what if u… joined the dark side.. aha ha just kidding.. unless..?

Episode Date: December 24, 2019

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Star Wars Episode 9 spoilercast at the end. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Leroy Smith's Theme The Solitary Warrior - Tekken 7 Soundtrack Final Fantasy VII Remake details Sephiroth, Shinra, Aerith abilities, Shiva summon, more; Tifa and Sephiroth visuals Cats is Getting a Day-One Patch From Universal #FightofAnimals Epic is giving away a new game every day for 12 Days Blasphemous patch, DLC in early 2020 CD Projekt and The Witcher author Andrzej Sapkowski ink new IP rights deal

Pretty good. Hey there. Hey, what's up? I'm much how you doing? I'm all right. I've decided to do the start of this podcast with my eyes closed for no reason other than it feels good, man. Your eyes are closed. My eyes are closed. What is eyes closed? What is there? It feels good. Why do eyes close feel good? It just feels good, man. You know when your eyes want to be closed, but you open them or your eyes want to be open, but you close them and you're like, do you want to be like Brock or like one of those anime characters that always dies? No, no, no, no, no, it just feels good, man. I don't want to be Goro. Yeah, Goro

Diamond is pretty cool. Goro Diamond is pretty cool. Also, I'm really immersing myself in the audio scape. That's fine. He loves Japan. He loves his children. He loves judo. Yeah, I don't think there's enough love for Goro out there. And here's the other thing that we should appreciate about Goro Diamond. He's on a team that is all young and spunky and has electricity or fire powers or or just studious, you know, in nature. But the deal is that these are all like, you've got the leader one, you've got the wild one, you've got, you know, Shingo, the young one. And then you've got all the archetypes for the boy band. And it's almost like member B together or to to together, I think it was a TV show

with a boy band and then there was a Kyle gas type older dude that was part of the group. And he was like a big chubby guy and he was balding and he was like clearly in his like late 40s. And no, okay, there was this feels completely invented. Swear to God, there was a show called together with two as the thing. And it was a boy band, but then there was like a Kyle gas style dude that was on the team. That's the Goro Diamond, right? So when you're looking at the King of Fighters heroes, Kyoku Sunagi, Benny Maru, Nikkaido, and, you know, of course, Shingo comes along as the fan boy. But it's always it's teams of three Shingo technically is only for the fucking occasional four. But with those three, you

have these these dudes that are like on stage crushing it and killing it and everyone's screaming and passing out because they're fans. And then you've got this older man who's a responsible dad. And he's shirtless, but he's only shirtless because judo. And he doesn't hit me like a boy band character. No, but he's the leader. Yeah, but he feels like he'd be a bassist. No, look at that hair. He's got Trunks hair, man. Betty Maru is the wild one, right? But Kyoh is absolutely like, are we basing Benomaru being the wild one purely on the fact that he puts one hand down and then spins around it for a kick? No, I'm basing it on the fact that he has a leopard print shirt. That's true. What are you talking

about? I don't know, because that doesn't say wild to me anymore. That's that says leopard. I'm coming off my divorce real hard. Leopard print does leopard print doesn't say wild. No, it doesn't. Wow. Well, it says a 48 year old divorcee. I think down at the bar, the entire purpose of the existence of leopard print is to say wild. It is a wild animal. Yeah, but stuff changes, man. Context and luck. I'm saying Kyokusanagi definitely is leader of the bunch. Look at him. He's got the hair. I know him. Well, he's got the fucking headband sometimes. If he doesn't, that's okay. He's rocking that white jacket. If you want to go Nests era with him. I don't. I actually really like his I guess I would

call it hyper casual biker era, like just he's got a jacket and some jeans biker. Yeah, that's biker. That's fine. That's that's super cool. I think I like I like I like Nests era because it's jacket and jeans, but he's being stylish with it. But either one, you know, you're putting him up front, right? And he's going to be up front either on guitar or on the mic. But Yuri Yagami also is on the mic because he's singing Kazeno allegory. That's a deep cut. We're the voice actor for Yuri literally sings a song as Yuri out there. So he does actually he is a musician, a fucking Isakai with Yuri as Yuri. He's a music Yuri is a musician. Yeah. And he's honestly one of those people

where a parent based on a couple of different stories, if if not for his like family abuse into being a jerk, a foil to Kusaragi, he would probably be fine. It's just that he's been abused into being like hate this guy and also he's got a power that burns like shit. Yeah, well, the purple flames aren't great either, you know. But nonetheless, and you're also a vessel for evil asshole. Yeah. But the point of this is getting away from Goro, yeah, who needs to be appreciated for hanging out with these kids way too cool for him and not given a fuck because he's just like, I'm here to grapple like an Olympian and win the King of Fighters Tournament. And by the time Kiyokusanagi is doing his Orochi

slaying flame technique to defeat the ancient evil of the eight headed snake, he's like, man, I love I love judo as he walked as he's standing on the sidelines. That's all he's here for. Oh, boy, he's here to get a medal. Boy, I love judo. And the most excited he gets is when he's like, God damn it, we're about to lose. It's time to open my eyes. I'm going to open my eyes and judo the fuck out of these guys out of the floor actually. Oh, yeah. He opens up his eyes for that one moment. He's like, no, we got to win. And that's his most that's his motivation. Oh, I sure love judo judo man. Yeah, this whole conversation reminds me of a point that came up when I was playing I have seven recently. And I just I just looked

it up and checked. You remember Sid from FF seven? Yeah, remember how he's treated like the old man? Yeah, you know, that 40 right? He's 32. Yeah, I remember you brought this up a couple years ago. 32. Yeah, yeah. And that one was the one that really will put the point on it of like, old man, JRPG characters. We got that in a fire emblem. TMS took him or our sessions where the old a woman that is the like manager of your group, she used to be an idol, but now those are her long past days now. And she's just running the organization and talk about the new kids. And you know, now that she's hit like what 27? Like God, how can you not even 30? It's it's she's basically she's in her 20s. I remember when I heard the Christmas cake. I Christmas cakey. Yeah,

yeah, I wanted to die because I think I was 26 at the time and was like, Oh, there you go. Like because even the most ardent proponent of your life ends at 30, which now that I'm over 30, fuck that shit. That's stupid. Would not bring that down to 25. But Japan. Whoa, boy. Well, you unmarried at 25, lady. But yeah, to the fruitcake aisle with you anime Japan. Right. What other what other Japan is fictional story Japan? What? I don't know. That's that's that's the important part. What do you talk about your humanity peaks at 15, because your ability to be a hero should be in your teenage years. Yeah, now that I'm in my 30s, I think back to okay, percent of fives are really good example. Right. Remember the big theme of that game is

like, Oh, these crooked adults. Yeah. Oh, they're so stupid. Why can't they just be good like us kids? I mean, Rio G in particular. Yeah. And like, oh, we're the oh man. And I'm like, let's think back to 15 year old Pat. Oh, 15 year old Pat was a fucking idiot. Like, holy shit. Wow. But that was not the height of my heroism. Yeah, no, that's the that's why it's always so weird to me. When these Gundam pilots jump in the robot, when they have their balls haven't barely dropped the older I get every day, I'm like, Oh, yeah, Shinji, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Shinji. Very, very much. Yes. Yeah. Very much. Yes, Shinji. Super, super totally. Also, like, even in hot blood world, like, Simon, Shimon, without a camera. Yeah, just I'm a kid. I'm a child. I'm a

child. Yeah, definitely. Anyway, though, I think I think that the the you never really get to see that 30 to 40 zone. You always you see that, you know what I mean? You all because it's basically like you have the you're an old ass hag, you 27 year old woman, and then suddenly you got to go full on gray. The only the only time I can think of a hero in a in a fictional thing that we're all fans of that's old, like proper old is Geralt, because Geralt's like over 100 or whatever. Yeah. And he acts like it. Yeah. But he still has to be life and muscular and hot, right? He can't be a fucking old man in a wheelchair, which I now have a new ideal for a hero, which is an old man in a wheelchair with a colostomy bag. Wow. That sells hero right there. Yeah. Hey, you want to hear the

worst thing I've heard all week? Well, it's about colostomy bags. First, I'd like to appreciate that we traveled here from your eyes being closed. Oh, yeah, I open now. And I felt like it. Yeah. No, but just I'm appreciate I could go back. I'm appreciating the thread. I could go back if I want to the thread of entertaining conversation that takes us to yeah. When you said together, like I was like, like whereas in in in like, you know, when you're like, you hear something, you're like, you don't remember, you're like, what? And you narrow your eyes. Well, because my eyes were closed, my eyes unnarrowed as a result. And now I feel like keeping them open. Okay. Do you want to keep talking about together? No, because you haven't seen it. So I can't really

go there. There's not a whole lot. I'll show you a screenshot. It's two kids and an old man. Yeah, you'll get out of it. We can go back to colostomy bags. But colostomy bags is a topic we've pretty much like, I think we closed the book on it, you would think right, except comes to the worst thing I've heard this week, which is a thing was last night, or the night before on stream. Somebody pointed out to me is like, Hey, fun fact, did you know that you can get STDs in your colostomy bag? How? Because there are people out there who will pay to have sex with the bag. Okay, hold on. The bag is one way. The colostomy bag contains that which comes out of your body.

So there's STDs in the bag that doesn't matter, because they're in the bag. Well, anything that can go down can also go up. Nothing is ever truly one way. Okay. I don't understand. How there can be STDs in the bag. What are you talking about? You can catch STDs from your colostomy bag if somebody puts a STD in it and their penis. It's also sealed. It's a it is sealed. And then there's a tube that goes into you. Are you saying they're putting their really? I'm not a doctor. I didn't look up the mechanics of this. Is this even real? Are you? This is this sounds like you. This doesn't sound real.

It sounds like you spussed putting words together to create some nonsense. Somebody kicked in a couple bucks and tell me this yesterday. So I'm going to assume it's real. Okay, but like there's clearly so much more to the thought here that was not forcing me to go down on a Google search. Now you have because there's so much here that you haven't processed you in whatever the message was that you read that I have infinite questions and I can't possibly begin to understand like we're talking about a bag that is a tube. There's a hole in your body. The tube leads into it and then that goes into the container and then it side pocket on urban dictionary. Okay, a prostitute with a colostomy bag he can remove to give male customers some side pocket.

Okay, that's referring to the hole in the person then. That's not referring to the bag. All right, I'm sorry. That whole thing made no sense. They're having sex with the bag hole. Oh, yeah, that's hilarious. That's really funny. That's great. Totally get it. Now I follow completely. That's that's that's a big good. That's a good one. That's I that's great. That's some that's some fucking prime side pocket. I learned a new word today. There you go. Prime prime a punchline show. I guess it is a z targetable weak point after all 100% no problem there side pocket on the on the on the fucking. Yeah, get right in there. All right, totally. But I'm like the bag that fit that there's no logic to

that whatsoever. It makes no sense. Yes. All right, good. Now that we've cleared that up now that we've cleared that up. What's what's been going on with you this week, man? Well, okay, the host of this podcast. So do you cares on Willy versus? Yes. Do you want to just push all Star Wars talk to the end? But you see it? Yeah, I would like to do five minutes of Star Wars talk before like, spoilery yet, because I think there's a lot of there. I think there's a decent amount of stuff to talk about that isn't spoilers at all. Okay. Yeah, but if I feel like it'll be to me, it will be unsatisfying to talk about things without getting into the wise because I can talk about you can talk about feelings and

like, I want to talk about editing editing. Okay, I want to talk about editing. I think I okay, touch on it. But I definitely want to throw spoiler cast at the end, because like details are more I've never seen a movie that was actually two movies smashed together until this movie. And I've never seen a film in a franchise that did its best to actively delete the film that came before it. It's hilarious. It's fucking hilarious. Like, you know that I was thinking about it on the way over here to try how to phrase it. You know, when characters are like running to a ship in Star Wars, and then they have the transition shot of them hitting the fucking the ramp. Fuck that. Don't have time anymore. And everything like that

just fucking gone. You know that transition shot of the ship flying in space between a planet? No, don't have time for that. I heard you enjoyed your movie going experience. I really enjoyed it. That is a page and I have been talking about it and we've we've settled on that is a five. And I would say that that movie is a five made out of alternating eights and twos back and forth back and forth. You'll be like, Oh, wow, that was actually a really good thing. And then something will fall so flat that you start laughing and stop because you don't want to be reading the theory theater only to hear other people around you also laughing. That's that's definitely not what I inferred from your tweet. That's that's that's a different take from what

I thought I read was a fascinating film to watch in a theater. You did specify movie going experience as opposed to Phil film movie. Yeah. But yeah, it's it's a fucking trip. Hmm. Like I agree. But I really do want to go into why. Mm hmm. So without being able to do so, there's no point in having this. Sure. We got to I do have one more thing to say that isn't spoilery. And that is like last Jedi has been this massive kerfuffle for a long time, which is people going, Oh, it's amazing. Oh, it's the worst thing we're in Star Wars. It's like it's weird because now the movie after it also weighs in on that. And goes quiet last Jedi, you get over here where we can ignore you. And and I it and it's I mean,

you're going back to the first director. Yeah. Right. So there is going to be a decision made as to what threads you're continuing. Yeah. And what you're not continuing. And any I can't you can't I can't move. All right. You're giving me a paralysis conversation right now. I just thought it was funny walking out that they have made it so that you actually don't have to see that. Well, thoughts at the end of the park. All right. I can't play off of that. I got to get into the details. So we'll push that to the end full on spoiler cast for the Star Wars movie. Rise of the Skywalker. Is there a the no rise of Skywalker? I think it is just rise of sky. Is it the rise of the Skywalker? I thought it was rise of Skywalker. You know what?

I don't even know. How'd you like the Fortnite reference in the movie? Oh, you mean the first thing that happens? Yeah. Okay, well, okay, this isn't spoiler. But the opening title crawl refers to an event that occurred in Fortnite and nowhere else. Yeah, if you didn't play Fortnite at that Star Wars event, you didn't get to see the dead speak the law the last thing in the Star Wars. Yeah, the first the first thing in the movie, you know, the rather the first line of the first text crawl is an event that is only in Fortnite. Does that make Star Wars a movie franchise in Marvel? I'm putting a block down right now. Okay, and moving past it so that we can talk about it later. Okay. Was that the only thing you did? I played some Destiny. Destiny's good. It's good

season. I got a review code for Iceborne. It's really bizarre talking about that game, because there's a review embargo on it. First spoilers, despite the fact that the game came out in full in like, September. So all I mean, it's Iceborne. Oh, they okay, they don't want to reveal. They're like, I have a review embargo, and it's got streaming content guidelines is like, don't show anything past this quest. So you don't spoil the PC players who were patient and waited. And I'm like, I don't think that use case exists or the stories. Yeah, the sick story of Monster Hunter World. Hey, guess what? It's Oh, hey, you know what? Every Monster Hunter storyline ever is. Huh, there's some new monster fucking up the ecosystem. Wonder what's up with that shit? Is it a giant

set piece? Um, no, no, no. So there's nothing like Zeromagros. No, it's like a ice dragon. Okay. But the PC version, it like it ran badly. Like it's a it's a it's a chunky fucking boy on PC. And they at least added a DirectX 12 mode, which does make it run a little better. You get the feeling that the staff they said couldn't work on it, because they were a bit too busy working on Resident Evil and DMC five, who finally like a three or four of those guys were like, okay, let's clean some of this shit up because it's it's kind of a mess. But other than that, it's Iceborne. Hey, it's a good game. It's Monster Hunter. It's Monster Hunter World. Yeah, the clutch claw shit and the slinger shit is awesome. And that's it. Thanks, Capcom.

Pretty hard to I imagine fuck up the role they've been on with that. You think that, huh? Because they have in the past. Monster Hunter Tri is fucking terrible. The third one is oh, it's so bad. And then three you and portable third were good. But like that swimming shit was poison. My follow up is but aren't the updated final releases okay? Well, the is not is the final release of every step of the game. Great. Yes. Yeah. But that's a really weird metric because the way that they all work is the game comes out and then a year or two later, the expansion comes out and then a year or two later than that game comes like there's very little distinction between the expansion. I'm going to use air quotes on those expansions and the new releases other

than monster list button in true Capcom is in fashion. Right. The updated version of the game that eventually gets bundled all together into a final disc form. Yeah, is much better than the one absolutely. Iceborne is fantastic. Yeah. And it's weird be especially for somebody like you who played world at the start. Yep. Is that you were playing mostly Lance, right? No, I did charge blade and then I did charge blade and then I switched to Lance that I switched to great sword back to Lance because the goofy thing is that those moves that are complicated, but they're complicated because every expansion or new game gave them one new move. They started off all with like one move total. And now we're all the way up to fucking this shit full move list,

which like the longsword has a goddamn like virtual anime slash now. Yeah, a judgment cut almost. You still don't need to know a whole ton for like Lance and great sort are pretty easy to learn great swords mainly about not its moveset, but about knowing how to use that moveset and when because it's like, I mean, you're standing there for like a day. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas charge blade is just a fucking mechanical overload, which is you can charge the axe now. Oh, yeah, you can charge up all three. They all have individual charges. It's I mean, like meter management. Well, do you want to play? Do you want to play Gieffer? You want to play Minot? Minot, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It's totally on point for if a character that

wants a person that wants a character complex approach. And one thing this is an update thing for Iceborne that's been happening, but you'll appreciate it. They have committed to improving the layered armor system, which is the transmog or glamour system. And I think in the console version right now, you can glamour on all of the low rank or high rank looks onto it. And they said they're working on the the fucking shit that was added during Iceborne right. So in the future, you'll just be able to fucking customize the way your guy looks, regardless of what the fuck you're actually wearing. So it took a long fucking time. But we're finally there here. Yeah.

You know, I really I said it before, but it really is just like if people can enjoy the game more by having fun with the existing assets in a different way, the weirdest thing is that the the the fucking anniversary game or whatever generations ultimate one that has like 180 120 that totally had transmog in it. Yeah. And then world came out and people were like, yeah. And then they're like, you could dress up as Dante or Aloy or Ryu and people are or Geralt and people are like, well, what about the armor sets I actually have? So the one thing I would say that is like still something that should be done and it's a this is way more than transmog at this point. Yeah. But it's like, literally, there should be picked dude or guy armor or girl armor.

Never gonna happen. Never gonna happen. I know that. But it should have it should happen because it'd be you could customize even more. I think the actual answer to that is starting a character. No, no, it's not. You're right. But I think that is the actual stance on it. But what I'm what I'm the reason why I'm saying this is because optimally Capcom would let you do this. So I get that no, that's not going to happen. And I understand that no, this you can't do that. Oh, but I'm not I'm not I'm not saying this based on like, what is in the real world, I'm saying Capcom should make it so that you can because either or because half the time if you remember early on when I looked at those designs, yeah, I was like, man, I want to put that piece

of armor on mixed and match with this one. And that one's only for guys and that one's only for girls. And it's like, why can't I just put this type of armor over here? Well, there's two reasons one cynical and one not. One is the the fucking rigging on the girls and the boys are significantly different. Thanks, you'd be soft. Yeah. No, but like, they would have to make a second set of the same looking thing. And the cynical one is well, you can totally do that just pay the eight dollars to redo your character. And the character voucher or whatever the fuck it's called. And then you read to go back in a character slide and switch and switch to a girl. Yeah. Yeah. And then when you want to switch back to the other one, that's not the point. I want the same. Of course, it's

not. That's why I'm saying that's the cynical response. Yeah, it's completely unsatisfying. And then not what I want them to do. Like, I want to have the head of my female character with a bulky suit of armor. I like that. I should be able to do that. And you know, what you pretty much have to do, right, is from a workload perspective, like any game with creative character, you have to go in and see how the objects overlap with each other, see how they clip, right, see how they scale, depending on the the size of the body. But ultimately, like it is not an impossible task, like other games have done things like this. I guess I've always had this weird, like I like people at home who are listening to this podcast,

I mean, I shrugged and the reason for that is like, I don't understand like most of this discussion. Like not, I mean, I obviously get it, but I don't empathize with it. Because whenever I play almost any game, it's like, ideally, I would like to bury my character in armor and never see them again. Like I barely even want to see a human shape anymore. So sometimes I want that. Sometimes I don't. And like to me in my head, just different characters have different looks. Some if you have a heavy tank that's covered in armor, that's one type of character, whereas someone else might be more revealing. So like it totally just depends on who you're playing and how you want to play them. And I mean, it's not always going to be that same

one heavy armored type. Yeah, the opposite end of the spectrum on this for me is the person who's like, well, I got to play with the Kieran armor so I can see her titties. Sure. So, you know, what I'm the way I'm thinking about it, right, is the game presents it to you as if there is like this armor, like it appears this way on do's and this way on girls when it's like, actually, the way I'm looking at this is there are, it's not that there's 200 pieces and they look differently on each, there's 400. And 50% can be used here and 50% can be used here like asset wise. It's a completely different set. Yeah, they're all they're all well, the vast majority of them are really different. Yeah, so it literally is just like there's 200

200% of like there's a whole other thing that you just can't use the other half of the armor is just inaccessible is the way I'm thinking about it. You know what, I said earlier in this that it will never happen. That might be wrong. Because one of the things that Monster Hunter used to do, which was like, I can't I, I can't believe they did it for so long. It was so awful. Yeah. There was different sets of armor for melee and for ranged completely different sets of armor based on your weapon then. Yeah. So if you had any of the melee weapons, you used blade master armor. And if you used any of the ranged weapons, you used gunner armor. And the gunner armor was had to be completely built from scratch. So if you were like, Oh, I'm playing great sword, but I like

to fuck around with the bow, go grind out on a complete set of gear, just for the bow. And it was awful. It was so bad. Wow. But more old day obfuscation. But it did have a unique look, right? Which was extra infuriating because you had this problem twice. You had, Hey, not only do I want the dude's armor, but I want the dude's ranged looking armor. Okay, look at that point, don't make me create a character. Just make characters and let me unlock them. And say you unlock Joey. Personally, I think people shouldn't be allowed to create characters because like if you clearly are designing in such a way that it's like, if you want to use this weapon, you got to be Joey. Yeah, but but I'm not Joey. I'm me. And they're like, Yeah, but you got to go.

You got to go get the parts of Joey. Yeah, you're right. You shouldn't be allowed to make characters. You should just be an amorphous blob that lives inside the gear. Just give me just like if you're if that's your plan from the get go from the jump to say you've unlocked Joey, Joey's got the ranged shot. So what they did do with that is they so instead of what do you call it a fucking blade master gunner sets, you notice when you got high rank, there was alpha and beta sets that is pretty similar to what they did. So it's possible that they will unify the like armor looks at some point in the future. But I cannot ever see the Monster Hunter team giving you the opportunity to put like the Brackadio set on the lady Brackadio set on a guy or the Kieran set,

because that would look too girly or some shit or some shit. And the or some shit is what sucks. Yeah. That is that's pretty much what it comes down to or some shit, just from soft it, right, or Neo just fucking 14 did something really interesting, where a Yoshi P recently went, because they had a lot of genderlocked clothing in that game. They're like, yeah, we're just going to make new stuff non genderlocked and, you know, whatever, we don't want to get in the way of anybody's fashion. So the to be outfit can be worn by men. It looks terrible, because they didn't spend any time on the ass for the dudes. So you have this freaky, I would imagine it's bad. I would imagine I don't know how your character can stand without glutes. Tyco, Tyco diapers.

Yeah, I would imagine it's like that. It's just your legs just kind of thin out to it's fucking. Yeah. Okay, but you see, but I but also, it's not just about wanting my dudes ass cheeks out. It's also about wanting to put a pair of pants on my girl. Well, then you're going to have a hard time because you're going to get a lot farther saying, yo, hey, let's get the dudes ass cheeks out, because that's going to be way more popular. I don't mean 14. No, I mean everything. Okay, but I mean, back in the monster hunter world, if you want to get fucking hot man ass out there, you're going to find a much more vocal group of crusaders to help you. Yes. Yes. But you're going to get all the horny on main people. Yes. Having hot man ass out there is a

fine secondary objective to my primary objective of I want I want to put those pants on those are cool pants. That's that's where I'm at. But these are all we're all on the same team. And we just want the game to be like if there's an asset, let me put it on. It's an it's there you made it. Just let me just put it on. I wonder if you can do that on PC. I was going to ask about modding because you can you can I mean, in the review embargo, there's a really weird line that says, please don't mod it. Please don't mod the game when you stream it or do a video on it because they want players to see the original intent. Fuck you. And that's fine. Well, no, it's under the review embargo associated with an early code and early code is already modded someone mods the

game before it comes out. That'd be wild. Well, I mean, it's it's an expansion. So they have the base stuff. Fair enough. But there was a there was a mod that allowed you to just change the armor sets on your character or whatever. But I don't know if you were able to change them into the other gendered versions. Okay. We can because it because it was basically your character would have a gender number one or zero. And then the way that the armor worked is it would literally be armor one or two or three or four, and you would just change the armor in an editor, the number in an editor, we can, we can short snager and Dylan predator arm meat in the middle and say pants with no ass are the ultimate achievement that we want to accomplish together.

So assless chaps is the future. All chaps are assless. So I barely even know what chaps are because every time the word chaps has come up in a conversation, it has been under the terms of assless chaps. Yeah, I know it sounds way for it. It's great. It's a it's a fun thing to put out there. Right. It's like, so it's a bit like saying sleeveless tank top. What? Because chaps are take chaps. But the sleeveless tank top, but tank tops don't have sleeves and chaps don't have asses. Well, yeah. Okay, the chaps came, you know, Kate Ash, I do, you know, the the jeans he's wearing. And then you know, the second layer on top of those jeans. Yeah, those are the chaps. Oh, I see. They come down the sides, they hook up

to the belt. And it's the leather part that comes down the sides and creates a diagonal on the leg. I see. emphasizing the chaps, the groin area groin and the butt. And they're assless always. Well, now I've learned something new today. Assless chaps is redundant. Yeah, it's redundant. Yeah, Monster Hunter is good, good, good. Okay, well, I'm fucking shocked. That's it. Okay, I'm going to be streaming this week. I thought I was going to be streaming Christmas, because I thought it was going to be doing Christmas morning. I'm not I'm doing Christmas afternoon evening. So no Christmas stream. Sorry, guys. But the rest of the days, I'll be streaming

around eight usually over twitch.tv slash angriest pet, going through all them reasonable games, all of them. And by all of them, I mean, almost all of them. Because I say, oh, I'm gonna do all of them. And people are like, what about gun survivor? And I go, you can go fuck yourself to hell. That gun survivor shit. Well, the problem is that there's as many games that you would answer, go fuck yourself to hell as there are games that you're going to say no, that's included. So you're playing what like nine games? No, more like 14, 14. There's probably 14 games that you're going fuck. No, there aren't. There really are. Okay, are you playing the mercenaries? That's not even its own game. No, no, no, no, no. Sorry. All right. Not much. The

what's the franchise called that was like the episode on survivor, the episodic. Oh, revelations, revelations. Yeah, absolutely. You're playing revelations. Okay. Oh, can we are there 14? I can tell you, I can literally just give you a list. All right. So let me let me see if I can because it might have been 13. All right. Orc. No. No, I know these are all no's. I'm trying to see if there are as many. Are there as many mainline things you're going to play? There's revelations kind of mainline. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Are there as many mainline things as there are spinoff bullshit that you're going to not touch? There's way more mainline. So I'm going to say there's like Orc. There is the one you're going to forget, which is Umbrella

Corps, which came out afterwards. I'm not going to forget umbrella. Oh, you're not going to forget it because Orc was the one that we tested. Oh my God, you tested Orc and it was in the office. Oh my God. And Umbrella Corps was the sequel to that. And I would never forget because I'm like, yeah, it's a sequel to the thing that was in the office. So there's those two. There's the Chronicles. Yeah, both of them. Right. That's four. Right. There's the dead aim. Yeah. Right. There's the well, the online nine player one. A fucking outbreak outbreak to outbreak two. You said gun survivor, gun survivor and gun survivor two. Yeah. That's nine. Yeah. There's the GBA game guide in. Oh, that. Oh, it got a GBA. Yeah. Not GBC. Yeah. GBA had a game that

came out. Leon and Barry are on a boat. Whoa. That game is astonishingly terrible. Wow. What was it? Was it pseudo 3D at all? No. It's like a shitty RPG. Top down? No. It's first person. It's fucking terrible. Wow. Okay. So that's 10. Wasn't there a mercenaries only game? There was on the 3DS. Yeah. Yeah, there was a mercenaries. So that's 11. Phew. Now we get tricky. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it. Now we get tricky. I guess so. I wouldn't know enough. You know what? You know what is a good example when we were talking about those? You didn't mention many numbers. I heard very little ones, twos and threes in there. Oh, because of the sequels. Yeah. I mean,

okay, so like Dark Side Chronicles and Umbrella Chronicles. The list of games that I will be playing includes one, two, three, four, five, six. Code Veronica? Yeah. Yeah. That's main line. You're playing that. The list is Resident Evil 1, actual Resident Evil 1 for PS1, which I did last week. RE2, RE3. Yeah, you did this list. Yeah. Oh yeah, I did do this. You did this list. What you're going to play is not up to question. I'm just going like there is almost as many non-played games that you're sweeping. That's their trash. Yeah. That's your, you know, well, as we talk about this, man, that series has a real fucking power gap between the good ones and the bad ones. Outbreak had a sequel, yeah. A sequel. You fought an elephant in it?

Wow. How about that? Okay, so yeah, 10. Those games are cool, but they're kind of unplayable now because there are PS2 online games that required a hard drive. Well, they didn't require a hard drive, but you really should have gotten a hard drive. What about books, you know, throwing books in there? They're all up here, man. Yeah. Yeah. Movies. Anyway, did you know that in Resident Evil 2, City of the Dead, City of the Dead, yeah, Leon gets the rocket launcher to take out Mr. X, and Claire gets the Gatling gun to take out Birken just like the remake, which makes me think that the remake actually read the books. Crazy. Do none of those side games have single moment chapters of canon included in them? Gun survivors canon. Okay. But, okay, we're going to talk about Resident

Evil canon. Resident Evil canon is weird. Are you familiar with the difference between hard canon and soft canon? I would assume it just means this is this is absolutely mainline confirmed, and the other thing is it could have happened. Star Wars is a really good example. Luke fights Darth Vader and Empire Strikes Back. Yeah. Hard canon, hard, hard canon. Kyle Katarn, soft canon, because it will get destroyed by any competing hard canon, right? Resident Evil is a series that is literally all soft canon. There is nothing in that series that is so set in stone that it can't somehow be altered. When I'm playing Resident Evil 1, there are fucking, there are notes in that game that describe the outbreak that happens in that mansion

as taking place in May, like two, three months earlier than the mansion. But then you get to RE0 and it's like, oh man, it all went nuts yesterday with the leeches. The one thing that is always fun to do, right, is to imagine what was from the moment Dio got out of that coffin, how busy was he? Extremely. This man never stopped. We cut in on him, lounging around, but he was out and about setting up things that would continue to domino for the rest of the franchise up until at least four parts late. While simultaneously not seeing a car once. That's the one that always gets me. What are you talking about? When he gets into the car, you know, they drive down the street, he goes, oh, a horseless carriage. I remember these

from when I was in England or whatever the fuck, or I've heard of these. And that's the first time he's ever seen a car. Oh, fuck this. So he got all the way from the ocean to Cairo. He converted, he converted Polnareff without ever seeing a car. Hmm. Is that is that I wonder if that that line. If that's a manga line. Interesting. But anyway, my point was, is could you follow Wesker's timeline and is he capable of actually doing all of these things? Yes. Within the time he's been given. Totally. Would he get a day worth of sleep? Totally. But Wesker's timeline is so convoluted that when remake came out, and I think prior or after probably after RE4, they released a fucking addendum series that I think came with collector's

editions called Wesker's report one and two, which were explicitly like, okay, well, what was the deal over heaven? Because you know, Ocelot stops making sense when you go back in time. Like his plans make less and less sense the more you know. Okay. Wesker's like that. Yeah. Yeah. Because Wesker and RE1 gets fucking shanked by tyrant because he's a dumb ass. And that turned into I was planning to get shanked by tyrant. Right. Right. And then and everything else is like it's it's never an improvisation. It's always a plan. It was a master plan. 4D chess. Even though it's obviously not a plan at all. And and and if any of these main characters were to zag instead of zig, none of it would have made any sense. And the farther goes the farther things go on,

the more like importance get added to characters that didn't have that much importance. Wesker's the worst because it goes from Wesker being like a cop that took a bribe, but he also worked at umbrella to he was the mastermind behind it all to the mastermind behind it all. And he was friends and and long time like protege mentorship with friendship with William Birkin. They were they were pals. They hung out all the time. Actually, they were behind it. And if snake never figured out how to sit his ass on the key to heat it up, then liquid would have been staring at that screen going. Well, I guess this whole I mean, shit, the whole uprising is gone. You think we can get him to sit on it? We've got no plan. We can't. We don't know how to do it. Amazing. No, no, no.

It's not can we get him to sit on it? It's we don't know what to do. Let's snake figure it out. And then he goes, ah, thanks. That's what we needed. What if snake was just kind of incompetent? What if he was just too dumb? What if he got shot by those four invisible guards in the elevator? Zigg instead of Zag Zag instead of Zigg, the whole thing comes crashing down, right? Your villain's timeline makes no sense. Resident Evil is as somebody who's put a astonishing amount of time trying to figure it out and get it all together. It is the most convoluted least consistent storyline ever on every detail. What is a zombie changes from game to game? Did he plan to be in that volcano? No, waiting through it to fight Chris. Like,

what was every move? And how did you anticipate how the heroes like and there's stuff that just doesn't even make sense in its own context? Remember in RE2 when Birkin's like, oh, he's going to sell the virus to the military and he's going to make a lot of money. And that's why Umbrella sends the goons after him. So in RE2 original, which I just played through the other day, he's like, huh, all right, I'm going to become the board. I'm the board of the directors when I give the G virus to Umbrella. And then the next file you read, they're sending spies to steal my G virus that Umbrella. And then in the cut scene, he's like, you'll never take it away for me. And I'm like, you you you work for them, you were you were just going to like you you did

a good job and you were going to give them the and you were going to get a promotion. Why is this suddenly? Why would they spend send spies to steal the thing that you're like, I'll get it to you next week? My favorite is is is when characters like fall off a cliffside in and or fall through a fucking floor that explodes and then land all part of my master plan next to an item that they need to pick up and use that they need that they need to pick up and use to progress the story. One has the worst one ever. You fight the giant snake in this room, right? And you fight the giant snake and he bites a hole in the floor. You're raw bites it. And you drop down the hole on the floor and you are in a eight by two foot room that has a fake grave underneath it that has a ladder that

leads into the basement, which means the snake just happened to bite the one part of the false floor. And what if you never bit the floor and shit, we would have never gotten out. Yep. Big big love that. And it's like, yeah, it's like, oh, man. And then you add the movies into it at best. It's you got your like villain mind controlled the monster to make it reveal the critical path. You can't. Oh, man. You can't. So yes, writing backwards. Always always a fucking shitty way. It's fun. It's really fun. Mm hmm. Okay. Well, anyway, Resident Evil's a fucking mess. But nope. Wow. Okay. Well, there are elements in already to the get played up in sequels

that then got changed in the remake. And you're like, wait, what? Yeah. Everything's a mess. Everything's a mess. Every like parts of all like there's nothing I can think of that like almost everything that I think we love is also a mess. Yeah. Because that's just the nature of how these things are. Yeah. And ideally the parts that are not a mess are so good that you're like, I still love this. I don't know. I like the mess. You like the mess. The mess eventually becomes characteristic. Yeah. You can definitely wrap around that. You can get used to the mess and embrace it

in the way Iraqi forgets things. Like in Resident Evil two, they just use the word zombie all over the place in the original one. But then sometimes they say zombie like creatures. I mean, I always thought that the fact that it was called biohazard was a way of like setting it apart from the idea of the undead, except in the first game, they're constantly called the living dead or the dead, but they're not dead. They're actually technically alive. But they're dead. Whatever like the parasite infection does, they can reanimate for whatever it is in the graveyard. Right. Right. And it's like, but like, but like, I always thought that that naming convention was trying to set the tone to tell you this is a scientific horror, not a magic spiritual or

alien horror. Because the very first night of living dead is an alien horror. It's a meteorite causes it. Oh, God, what about running out of room in hell? That's that's your your later fucking of the dead shit. Not your tongue. Okay, you know, it's easy to get mixed up with night of the living dead and some of the others, but also voodoo brains brain. Yes, yes, brains brains. Yeah, brains brains. Good. It's tasty. Cut them into parts and they still crawl towards you. Yeah, well, that's return of that's a whole different return of the living dead. Certainly. Yeah. Like running out of room in hell is I always talked about that as just the most fucking hopeless society you can. Yeah, because that makes it good because it's like God

said, Hey, guys, the apocalypse is going to happen. I know it for sure. And you're like, How do you know for sure? It's like, because I'm looking at the hell number of vacant seats. I'm looking at it done. Yeah, so the concept of death is now fucked. Yeah, it's not about spreading anything. Anyway, I played some more games this week. Yes. On Saturday, we did some table lords. I played cash and guns. And for those who don't know, cash and guns is a game where you have a gun and you pointed at people. Okay. And then you and you load the gun up bullets. And then you try to make them carried out so that you can take all the money. It's a board game. It's a board game. It's a game about Mexican standoffs. Okay, the game should have been called

Mexican standoff. I bet you there probably was an attempt and then it maybe got, you know, copy written or worse. Maybe just they said, Hey, don't call it that. But for whatever purposes, the game is essentially played by putting out money on the table and then you point your guns at everybody. Right. And then you choose in advance, whether it's a real bullet or a blank. And you have limited of I see. And then one person who's the godfather gets to force somebody to re-aim. So to change their aim to someone else. Oh, no. And then you choose to back down and go, all right, fuck it. And then you lose money for that round. Or you stay in, you deal with the consequences. And if you get shot, you go down anyway. But whoever's standing gets to split the

money. Pretty straightforward. Really fun game. Really fun game. Yeah. You know what that reminds me of? I know it's a it's a wild tangent. Did you touch disco Elysium at any point? Yeah. Did you ever get a gun? No. So in disco Elysium, there's parts where people you can convince people to hand you a gun. And every single time there is an option to put the gun in your mouth. And there is always the ability to shoot yourself every single time. That game's great. Yeah, that's that's good. Fuck. Anyway, when I need your gun, we're gonna shoot this down. Okay. Oh, like, yeah, strong. That's cannon.

Yeah. So in this case, you just you just that's that's your game. It's pretty straightforward. And it's a fucking good time because nobody expects it till it all comes crashing down. And sometimes you have balls, but balls isn't going to make you live. Right. Balls is not all you need to survive. Balls is a secondary resource. Indeed it is. And when it comes to picking up money, then there's not just money, there's like diamonds, which if you have the most, then you get a bonus at the end of the game. Okay. But if you don't have the most and you have a tie with somebody, then no one gets that bonus, you know, so there's little like this strategy to how to pick your money up to, or there's paintings, which are multipliers.

But individually, they don't they don't they're not worth as much as just raw cash. So. Yeah. So that that was a really fun experience. And it definitely it made me think of, you know, all those, you know, those edits, those photoshoppeds of like, character, but suddenly holding a gun, yeah, gun pointed at you, you know what I mean? Like, I love that. And this made me think of that a lot because everyone everyone gets to ask, please don't shoot Brock. Yeah. Yeah. And you get to threaten people with a full on fucking. That's great. Also played coup. How I spell that? Like coup d'etat. Oh, okay. Coop, if you're, that's the problem. Coop, if you're if you're not game, I'm gonna look at this, if you're pronouncing it incorrectly, but coup d'etat coup is basically,

it's a nice it's a good old bluffing game. Very fun. Only one can survive. Very fun, very simple. Where you just basically you pick up two cards that are two classes. And they're also your like your life. And everybody takes turns going around at either taking money from the bank or using the character class abilities to do things like steal money, assassinate people, stop people from stealing, take extra things like that. And you just interact with each other. And you try to figure out who's who are who's what what class. Yeah. And anytime you can lie about what class you are. And if you lie about what class you are and do what are their abilities, and no one stops you, then you can get away with it. I'm noticing that a huge trend in the past decade of

games is like, hey, you know, it's fun lying to your friends. It's the funnest kind of board game. Just huge lies. It's the funnest kind of game. It's literally just yeah, if you're good at being full of shit, it's really fun. And if you're bad at it, it's fun to catch people. Yeah. And you know, those are two separate abilities from each other. Someone who's good at lying is not necessarily going to be good at detecting other people lying and vice versa. Yeah. So like, it really ends up being something where like, yeah, a lot of people like it's just it's a blast, man. And you feel so like robbed when you find out that you you could have called something out, but you did it. When we played, what was it deception over at Rooster Teeth down in Texas?

Was that the name of the game? The monster thing? I remember we started a match and I said, one relatively innocuous sentence, and you just blur it. It's Pat. Pat's it. And I was like, like right away. Yeah. Yeah. Deceit, deceit. That was the name of the game. It's great. It's great. So yeah, that's that's cool. You know, and it's a similar kind of thing of, you know, like, uh, I'm going to tax the bank to take my money. And then it is like, no, you're fucking not. I'm blocking that. It's like, are you blocking that? Or are you calling me out? Because if you call me out, you lose a life if you're wrong. You know, you know, and in some cases, like it's like, I'm going to assassinate you with my assassin. Like, you don't have an assassin. Are you calling

me out? Yes, I am. Not only do you lose someone for being wrong about the call out, but the bullet goes through and you lose both your guys and die. So who's really fun? Really, really fun. And very quick to pick up. It's like 15 minute games. Oh, good. Very fast rounds, cash and guns takes a while. Took about 45 to get through. Because you have like eight rounds. You have basically you have to be you have to stop the game when you have no bullets left. Okay, right. So then I mean, you're done. Yeah, exactly. And then lastly, we played Superfight, which is you must have heard of it, but I have not. But I like the name. Superfight is taking the same style of game of cards against humanity, but executing it in a completely

different manner. So cards against humanity, you have your descriptive cards and then yes, you would say that. Yeah. Well, basically, I break it down as like you have your adjectives and then you have your nouns, right? And you add your adjectives to your nouns to create the funniest like thing. In this case, the adjectives apply to the nouns, but then they have to fight each other. So I take mine and you take yours. And we have to talk about why mine would beat yours. Okay. And then convince the room. So it's, it's fucking back in the day, 11 years old arguing about Goku versus Superman. Yeah, but with words. So exactly. At one point, there one one of the one of the enemies, one of the fighters rather was two tribbles. Okay. Trapped

in one of those cars for kids. Uh huh. With the ability to call down orbital strikes. Okay. Okay. Versus Godzilla. Uh huh. Bitten by a radioactive hydra. Okay. What was the other bit? I forgot what the last one was, but it was also just wildly OP. Tribbles takes it easy. No, it ended up being, it didn't, it didn't. Somebody hasn't watched enough Star Trek. It was more than that. And then also we mod, then the scenario can get modified with another car that says they're fighting on the side of an erupting volcano. Got it. And also, oh yeah, riding a nuke, by the way. Yeah, right. Got riding a nuke. All right. And then there was like

and each is piloting a giant Mecha Stegosaurus or some shit. It just got insane. Right. And you basically just have to like lawyer up, lawyer your way through it. It got to a point where it's like, yeah, those triple, those triples are going to multiply an orbital strike, but they're not going to take out a shin Godzilla style Godzilla. The best thing a triple could do against a Godzilla is get eaten. Yeah. And then they would just multiply until Godzilla exploded. Well, he'd have to kill them because it wouldn't, it wouldn't be about eating in that case. It would be about the lasers and the hydra heads mean multiple Godzilla lasers. No, just throw a triple down Godzilla's throat. Well, who's going to do that? Me. I'll do it. No, but you're not there. It's

these two forces fighting each other. Also, the first two are stuck in a car. You're failing to understand the game. So that's the game. That's super fight. And then I pull out my gun. That was the first game, cash and guns. Yeah, perfect. Really fun. And I like, yeah, that's going to sort of be a thing I want to do every once in a while is just grab these board games and play them and whatnot. The campaign games are not completely out of the question, but I definitely want to do things I can keep to one session for sure. So on that note, like if you guys have favorite board games that you think are good for like single sessions, I'm definitely taking suggestions and looking into it because I'm super curious about all these board games that have come out in

recent years of a lot. Yeah, we've seen kick starters for like Dark Souls and Mega Man and Street Fighter and there's a Bloodborne board game. You know what I mean? There's already love in your heart for something very simple like Monopoly. So Monopoly does exist. And I do have a copy of Street Fighter Monopoly right down there. However, Monopoly, I think one, those games would last the entire night. And two, we kind of know how they go. And I don't like it's not, I'm not saying no to it, but I'm saying I like more interesting picks, right? Classics are totally a possibility. But like, and like, here's the thing, I also have a copy of Metal Gear Risk down. So yeah, I was going to say, if you ever hit up Metal Gear Risk and are willing or

are going to go for a couple sessions, fucking give me a call. See, I don't know if that's going to happen, you know, because I fucking love risk. But but like, I definitely want to be able to go for more interesting picks. You know, so the I do have love in my heart for Classics and there's definitely a possibility. However, we don't know, you know, and I want to I want to and there's so many things being suggested to like people are throwing left and right mini campaigns and sessions and things. But yeah. Anyway, so that was all fun. That was on Table Lords. Those are going to be, I mean, besides on the stream on Woolly Versus up on YouTube as well. And that's also Woolly Versus. That's Woolly Versus on YouTube exactly, where you can also catch the

continuing adventures of Ajna and Norman Reedus as Naruto is now finished. I thought you were going to say something. I thought you were going to say like Norman Reedus as Naruto's like spirit lives on or some shit like. But now that I've spent some quality time on the back end of trucking and ruckin of trucking and ruckin like I'm fully I'm fully understanding seeping it's cut. Well, it's all the things that your eyes don't have time to really or not time to but there's a lot of things that you just need time alone playing the game to process and understand to just like open up a screen and just stare at it. Yeah. And I'm being able to do that offscreen has helped me tremendously. You know, it's really funny. I saw somebody going, I can't

believe it took Woolly this long to figure out that that circle under your foot is your center of gravity. Right. And I went, it is. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I fucking I nearly 100% of that game and never figured that out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a particular I was always wondering what that shit was or what the exact range is for items on the floor next to you to be considered a part of the menu. That's going to be frustrating because sometimes if you, for example, if you have a bike if you have a bike in the garage, not in the garage, but on the circle and you're using the terminal, then you can load things from the terminal on to that bike. But what if you're not at a terminal area? What if you're just at a prepper's house? The bike is like one foot away?

No, it's not close enough. So they're going to put out a patch in December. So it's either out or soon that will allow you to delete other players vehicles because I'm sure you've encountered it twice driving down the fucking road. That's not even the worst problem. The worst problem is you'll drive up to a prepper's house and there's a and there's like two trucks. Yeah. Fucking in front of the door and you're like, move your truck. Yeah. Fuckers. There's a lot of that. So that's the that's the other bit too is that like it's also becoming clear that like you don't have to build any vehicles ever. You're good just grabbing whatever line around one. Like in the early if you want your Ava colors. Yeah. But for the most part, you can the world is drowning in cars.

Yeah. Everybody's bikes are fucking just tossed left and right and complete like the isolation feeling of these of these preppers in their little huts is like a bit destroyed by the feeling of walking into a busy diner. So I'm everyone's cars and trucks parked outside of these prepper's houses. I'm going to tell you something and this is really important to remember because the game has a really bizarre sense of scale where the mountain range you can see to the west that is supposed to be the Rocky Mountains. Yeah. But it takes you like five minutes to cross like the distances you are traveling like you know when you see the map or the points lot up. Yes. That's supposed to be the real distance. Oh yeah. I remember when we made it from

the east coast to Central America with a six kilometer walk like it was what like because there's going to be parts that people are going to I mean you've encountered it I'm sure or people like I can't believe you got this here. Oh my god. And it's like I can see the other location. I can see it. It's right over there. Yeah. And like nothing like there were moments of that like I think that finally the fight the time where that finally settled in was when I was in the middle of a fight and it was like I was in a mule area and it was just like oh god what am I going to do how am I going to get out of here where am I going and it's like the windmill farm the the windfall timefall farm yeah was literally 30 seconds away from they live right next to mules

30 seconds away and not and like not know but this is my first time going down there yeah where you're just like when you finally do get whatever you need to and get out of that spot you're like fuck me I could have briskly walked it's an adjacent farm I could have briskly yeah it's crazy it's fucking neighbors are our our hostile yeah go in there sneak in get the thing and bring it back to us yeah that'll take 45 seconds it's not you got it only a problem done yeah so scale is all weird and whatnot but um uh I still like having having again now that I've spent this time and I've gotten to look and understand exactly what's what and how's what but it really helped there's so much mechanical depth to walking in a straight line but it's

also so much that you don't need to worry about a lot like you hit that triangle button and auto sort that shit and you're done 99% of the time um yeah or you know even just wrapping your head around like the inventory at first yeah right where it's like oh yeah it's totally natural now just hit the d the d-pad and then yeah r3 to cycle through but but when you first think about it like you wouldn't when would you hit r3 to cycle yeah I was making that mistake uh 10 20 30 hours in you know are just tapping d-pad left to pull it away pull it away it took me a long time to figure out exactly how blood works and what you're you have to fill the grenades with blood or is that taking blood no why from you if you have a blood bag yeah and it's like yeah up that up that up

that up that up nothing in that game works like another game like every single part of that game is doing it the Death Stranding Death Stranding way yeah I guess I guess so I guess so um it is like one of those indie exploration games that just got a shit zillion dollars I mean even if you're just sneaking around in the grass it's like oh but your backpack's too tall idiot the tutorial thing in that game is so in-depth as to be useless because every single thing you do in the game pops up like the thing I'm like hey you just unlock six new tutorials yeah it's a strand game it is a strand hey it's nothing hey will it yeah you know what's important mm-hmm connections yeah you know what though I will say this uh when you're stealthing this is probably the most

realistic I've felt vision cones have been those motherfuckers spot you like they spot you are they looking in your direction are you visible visible you're you're aggroed yeah which is like oh it's not a vision cone it's a it's a line it's a line of sight yeah it is a line of sight yeah and uh and it's and it's also not really like if you're if you're a weirdly like if it's a little there's not much of an investigation mm-hmm it's very much a like that guy's got packages get him it's very much a get him yeah um unfortunately they're not much of a threat if we can if we can if we can get those packages we can get that dank likeson yeah and no they're not I was I was blown away when a mule went to punch me and I got a tutorial for how to use the strand to counter

parry it to a counter hit yeah and I'm like what are they chasing after those robot legs that are humming you know the robots that are like yeah I think that's how they get damaged those things are worthless they're doing they're doing their missions yeah but the mission when they get back the they'll show up with missions like 85 damaged and you'll get like a z whatever it's free yeah I guess you're right it's passive it's background you know it's sending your uh palikos on an adventure oh yeah you're right what do you know what are you gonna say um anyway so yeah death stranding continues um that game's not connection and have you met the junk dealer yet jump junk dealer no okay there's a mission i'm in chapter three oh yeah most of the game's in chapter three okay um

out of 15 by the way yeah uh there's a mission between the chiral artist and the junk dealer you'll remember those names that's part of the main story that when you get to it I desperately want to talk to you about it on the podcast because it's crazy yeah um everyone talks to sam and then returns to their world which is the ace combat world yeah they holograt they hologram in from ace combat world to say thanks sam I can't believe Sam that's incredible it's it's this will really make the biggest difference and then they return to ace combat world and then they'll send you an email yeah yeah using a lot of a lot of thumbs ups nobody uses that many emotes well anyway um you're liking it yeah yeah I am I am liking it I'm waiting for the other

shoe to drop it drops late I know and that's okay so good because it drops real late but I'm enjoying the journey to the shoe yeah so now you have a better feeling of well maybe you disagree of what I was talking about it's like the longer the game went on the less I cared about the overarching plot and the more I was like timefall farms got some beer that needs to get delivered man I'll never forget about that because that's what got me to take a look of course but like the level of investment into like cosplayer needs some threads gotta make some otter hats just gotta do it somebody needs 140 kilos of high performance underwear let's need it I'm gonna slowly start preparing myself for the reality that when the shoe does drop

it might not be the the thing that I was talking about earlier of the the floating horror the the act the Junji Ito horror it might not ever really land oh you'll get there there's cool shit in that game okay uh what I'll say is uh it's a fucking rising thing like in quality and enjoyment all the way to heart man and then it's it's really good for a while and heart man's really late oh also you can avoid threats very easily trivially outside of main missions what once once you feel it once you get the do you get the level two Bola yeah yeah fuck it who cares also the like the the your vehicle stops when you're entering a danger zone and it's like hey don't and then hind comes out and you go no I don't want to do that yeah go sleep for half an

hour come back when it's dry yeah like whatever uh anyway so that continues so um yeah and then the only other thing of course I did was watch Star Wars which will be at the end we'll do at the end spoiler cast at the end sound good sounds great if you'll excuse me just a second I drank too much of these drinks I have to empty my I've been holding it in but you could go ahead with that um what I will say I suppose is that um current the current uh schedule right now with Naruto wrapping up on woolly versus is going I'm not going to replace it with something immediately because I think a game like Death Stranding uh should hustle should hurry up it's a very long game so for now what I'm going to do is not replace Naruto right away and I'm going to cycle between

indivisible and Death Stranding to try and get those games moving faster so that we can get into some other stuff of course you know I definitely want to be able to move on quicker so that you guys don't have to get stuck with uh anything for too too too long you know also of course the pacing of streaming these LP sessions and then cutting them up and having the episodes go out regularly is going pretty good actually I think a lot of people are giving a lot of good feedback on it I'm pretty happy with it for the most part um people who want to hang on with uh you know every minute as it happens are tuning in and checking it out we're having a good time um doing the streams every day and then the people who just want to grab a little half an hour episode or 45 minute

episode to eat their dinner with are enjoying that on youtube as well so best of both worlds I'm pretty happy with it um as well as implementing some of the other feedback that you guys gave from uh that state of the channel uh update videos so thank you to everybody who did that and I'm feeling I'm feeling good about how things are going I'm having fun with that the schedule is is maintaining and it's working out so um yeah no real complaints there just gonna keep tweaking keep tweaking now tweaking this is a heroin based podcast oh you didn't know man a lot changed when I was in that bathroom you think that's air you're breathing yeah you didn't realize that you're walking into the hotbox every single monday I tried to make like a bong noise that was not a bong noise that was a

anthony hawkins livid noise it is like you know that that'll it is nice canty with the livid you're in the hotbox all right well anyway you want to hit this pre-roll I hate this it's legal drug jokes just aren't as fun anymore now that the weed is legal doesn't feel as special it's kind of like uh tuna with the dolphins no longer in it I'd still what what the tuna cans with the sign that says no dolphin meat because they didn't no dolphins got caught in the nets and now I'm like shit there was dolphin meat in those tunas and then there's the ck joke that says uh yeah but you kind of think it might not taste as good oh

something my favorite uh drug based joke was a friend of mine his dad warned him against uh marijuana needles mm mm good be careful don't want to step on him that's a good dad don't want to step on him religious or just it's weird bumbling fool yeah okay you know how it is tv sitcom dad yeah okay all right what's new in the world this week well uh not a whole lot I'll tell you about about news not much going on yeah hey it's it's it's Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa week Christmas all the holidays uh what Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa Christmas Kwanzaa okay well that was the virgin mobile ad the Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa okay well

but yeah they all lined up this year not much a whole going on um news wise event wise uh funniest story of the week definitely going to uh cats oh my god I like this new world where cats and Kanye West albums like video games are now getting patched post release post releases um that Kanye shit is so embarrassing I can't fucking believe it which one the oh yeah we fucked the mixing up on the album silver Kanye or Nebuchadnezzar uh the the album that he released Photoshop maybe mixing so bad that they had to fucking redo the mixing oh the brand new one yeah okay well I didn't even hear that story

but there's always a Kanye story like the vocals were were too low but this is not even what I'm talking about a couple years back that he up that like he patched previous albums and like somehow and like in some cases track order got changed in some cases extra bits were added to songs like just literally DLC patch not DLC patches coming out for the album that's not okay and I mean if you physically bought it then you physically bought it but if you're listening on Spotify streaming like most people are you're getting the updated patch so well why did cats need a patch well the reason why cats needed a patch uh I won't use my words because I haven't seen it but I'll use the words of one uh not quite Frodo on Twitter who uh wrote a thread about the cat's

patch that's uh or the pre-patch cats I should say yes um I get the feeling that similar to our desire to grab games and play them before the company has a chance to make them better yeah videos back in the day um this thread goes into I'll just quote it so not quite Frodo on Twitter says cats is the most eldritch thing I've seen in my life I've gazed into the hidden mathematics of the universe and I'm more whole yet somehow less human rebel wilson rips off her own skin multiple times and eats a series of cockroach line dancers with human faces Taylor Swift descends from the heavens in a drug spraying mechanical crescent moon sir Ian McKellen says cat a wall and tastes the air with his entire face because the CGI is incomplete the human faces bop unnaturally

within their prisons of anthropomorphic horny cat flesh the cat if a cat is wearing a shirt their bottom half appears animated by some sort of demonic energy cats have human hands cat hands human cat hands or gloves the cats have no clear size sometimes the cats are the size of a cat or a penny or a trash can or a human perspective shifts aggressively without warning I do not know what the plot is but I have seen the chest heaving idris elbow cat that turns into an ambient jimmy cricket dust uh people left at different points throughout the movie because they have weak spiritual energy this happened the most when judy dench turned towards the audience and sang at us about our take about the takeaway of the film I want to die yet I am reborn I don't know if you're

going uh this movie if you're going oh and if you're like the movie is horny so I should watch it with people I want to be horny around please god watch Don Juan or something it's like that one a John John or something it's like that one person at the party who is an extremely sex starved but no no is no blah has no idea what they're saying or doing okay well anyway yeah so we got it apparently the director on this film also made a lame is the the the theatrical adaptation in the movies and I was seeing people talk about how that movie was made with no click track which turned it into an editing editing nightmare so this man appears curse but like yeah cats will change size I mean they will be wearing clothes or not they'll be wearing gloves or not or have cat hands or not

I don't know how like I try to think about how that happens and I the my brain first place that goes to is one where you have a a staff full of people that are probably like huge fans of cats and or huge fans of the musicals and a lot of people that are more knowledgeable on that side of things but probably there's no there's probably no John data right uh the guy who was responsible for figuring out most of the special effects and CG stuff on the matrix yeah right who just acted as the digital film digital cinematography consultant for everything yeah and all questions you need that kind of person to just logistically go wait stop what is this CG doing right now what is the scenario what is happening where's the consistency like uh because things can move

magically at the pace of a magical musical so and scale that way as well Judy Dench's character apparently is the worst in which she often just has regular ass old lady Judy Dench hands instead of anything but sometimes but sometimes she's also shown with no fur at all and just in the suit that she was wearing during the filming of the film that they'll add the fur in in CG later so there are shots in the movie that it's literally just Judy Dench standing in like a overall a cat overalls yeah so so again right when you don't have this type of person then you're gonna just film a bunch of people in costumes and say it's okay the cg will figure it out later and then they ship it off and then they ship it off and go you have until x day to do this

and they're like that's not gonna happen and then and then they just start putting fur on existing on green screen footage there's a there's a guy um there's a guy in the background of one like number apparently that's just a crewman standing around with a hoodie just chilling it's like what's going on we got starbucks cups we got movies with the bad cg what what what is ha like i think somebody by the time they arrive on set to do like i don't know hold the boom mic or i think you can just tell when there's no soul in the production but it's cats and that expresses itself in people not giving a shit you know what i'm gonna answer my own question i'm gonna say that you can feel it that the media companies and game company and everybody

everyone's in a race to see just how many corners they can cut before it becomes very noticeable and the only time you find that out is once you've cut one corner too far maybe but that doesn't that's not but like a starbucks cup is not cutting a corner it's someone just not giving a fuck and nobody else giving enough of a fuck to catch it the cat's thing though is is it's fucking nonsense but i mean it's what it actually is is somebody like who does there's no oversight person that's competently catching these mistakes oh also they're looking for other things the long-running thing of uh visual effects studio is not getting paid enough oh there's that they don't get paid enough to cover their own costs yeah life of pie

the fucking studio that did life of pie died the studio that did the sonic shit just died it's fucking stupid so it it really is also about like yeah that it's like do you appreciate the people that are you're telling to put the fur on judy dutch you know i don't want to get all economical here right but i think the fucking the visual effects studio thing is a really really good example it's visual effects is a highly specialized task that you can't exactly like there needs to be enough people working in that industry to do it right if you don't pay them enough for them to keep open eventually there aren't going to be enough places to cover the existing work that happens and they're not going to be able to hire up for it because it doesn't

work like that and you're just gonna not be able to do it anymore well no what will happen is you'll have to make movies the old school way that's not gonna happen either you'll have to come up with some sort of solution or you are or not i don't know but i think if you're gonna if you're gonna do like a movie like this maybe then you just go let's just put people in costumes and film them on sets and basically make you watch a version of the musical filmed like you know how plumbers cost too much they always cost too much sure because being a plumbers really lucrative you know why because you need plumbers you can't have a situation in which going into plumbing isn't worth it because if it is then you have enough plumbers and then society starts to drown its

own shit see but simultaneously to this happening like with hollywood visual effects going to the every man and or indie filmmakers is becoming like affordable right because it's like it's almost like indie games in a way where it's like anyone can film and anyone can cg but like to get this like top of the line like to get the top of the line quality uh cg you need to go with studios that are established and experienced but you're probably going to just get cheaper and worse iterations oh i know exactly what they're gonna do they're gonna do the same thing games existed they're gonna start creating uh studio or company wide houses for themselves there's that too ever like you know hey we bought Pixar we bought we we we're done yeah you can do that you can definitely

do that um you know but the best of course is always to just uh do you have a magical movie that costs fucking two thousand dollars to make yeah that breaks out and becomes a the guy who uh does uh who the the guy who found paranormal activity uh or maybe didn't find it maybe funded i forget but that dude's gimmick is that he runs around meets all these young filmmakers yeah and goes i'll give you ten grand to do this but i get a piece of the rights yeah and just throws a hundred bad movies at the screen every year but one of those was paranormal activity and now he's raking it in well that's the entire film industry actually um every giant major movie studio runs on that same operating uh standard operating procedure you put out a bunch of clunkers

something's gonna make it big right and you're hoping to overall make back and then you spend all that money on star wars that the star wars makes it double big right well it's gonna make money at star wars of course it is but it made a lot less money this time around already but yeah spreading it all out and uh shooting a million shots and hoping a few land that's that's the movie business gotta shoot your shot gotta shoot your shot player anyway um so that's cat's patch that's the fucking thomas thing ever i mean is it better to not be patched yeah i want to see i want the unpatched version i want the mummy with tom cruise with the wrong sound mixing there definitely is something tragic about that version never being like like this makes me want

to run to the theater you want to run to you because you're never gonna see it yeah i want to see the fucking double creepy version you know but but like also the angley hawk where the cg wasn't done you know as a version you'll never see either so it's not the first time this type of thing has happened but with a theatrical release the idea of updated cg coming along later also right that also but that's the here's the thing about that the fact that it would have to be like like you have to address it in that way is almost like well do you hire the wrong people to begin with right it's not it's not about like oh something new came out that allowed us to fix some of these problems that we couldn't already do it's more just clearly like no we hired the wrong people

so if sonic released and then got updated to look the way it oh man that'd be crazy holy that'd be nuts you know cats as a musical i've had it explained to me and it seems really stupid and it seems like a bunch of uh art theater types farting in their own butts about cats and singing songs and i'm glad that the film has continued the tradition of looking to be made by a bunch of people who like to fart in their own butts because holy shit people really say the the broadway play is very good but they say it in such a way that it's like you're like i don't trust you and you simply have to see lame is yeah but then again i'm just might be fine i'm just a plebian filistine who doesn't appreciate theater i've i've seen i've seen uh broadway adaptations

that i've enjoyed well i'll be very blunt i don't appreciate theater okay i think theater is stupid i um uh fucking sweeney todd is based on a play i think theater was invalidated the day the camera was invented no but whatever you hate music it doesn't matter i mean yeah you forgot to start that sentence with you know what they should do you know what they should do live action cats with cats real cats and just dub it over milo notice no not not milo notice those movies are done by the way did you could uh you must have seen uh the preview as before star wars every disney movie ever had a trailer including one harrison ford and big ol cg pup rooney in call of the wild oh you didn't see that no all they had a trailer

for call of the wild with harrison ford and a big cg dog and real dogs are done that's it i told the story the other day uh but uh see real dogs have been done for decades actually you know almost every dog that you see in a movie or tv show actually has cg on it because almost every dog is supposed to be mean and the burger but trained dogs that are acting for parts are really stoked to be acting for their parts yeah so when they're told to growl or snarl or whatever they're like i'm doing a good job and their tails wag like crazy their tails wag so their seeds their tails are cg to be still yeah yeah yeah and those dogs and knives that were real yeah they did they were also stoked they were stoked to be in a movie they were like yeah i'm a

dog bark bark i mean i don't know about being a movie but to do their job yeah yes no they were totally stoked to be in the movie and they talked they spoke with the cast because dogs can talk because dogs can talk yeah they can form sentences that's it you joke yep you joke but but a dog could tell you all about their day tap absolutely they can use syntax yeah they can use pros and they can be like oh i'm really happy to be in this movie thank you rain johnson mm-hmm they can they can uh conjugate yeah i seen a dog conjugate i seen it yeah dogs can talk yeah that video of the dog pressing the buttons proves that you don't know enough dog on her unquestionably see you think i sound crazy but it is actually you that sounds crazy totally nuts everyone told me

how wrong i was dogs can super talk i was super wrong dogs can fully form you know what elaborate conversations you can and only the owners can hear them you know what i'll say though right cats can't talk cats can't emote but dogs don't emote no no dogs emote but what i mean is that a dog can can talk to you a cat is just screaming in emotion right and we can and let's pretend and yeah and at no point in the conversation are we just liberally using the word talk to mean whatever we want the word talk to mean right okay communicate of course they can anything communicates wait what is wait what what is your distinction then between talk and communicate i'm saying that the first version of the conversation where we talked about that and you just go dogs can talk it's like if you're if

your entire takeaway is dogs can let the owner or let somebody know exactly how they're feeling yeah right versus like the idea of the different complexities you can use language to convey a specific no woolly a dog's not gonna write a poem obviously not but that's all i'm saying is if you go dogs and talk like yeah if we're just gonna keep it on the level of they can let you know what's up then of course they can but that's not why else you need but that's not why i said the sentence that's not why my brain went anywhere to bring the thought up i would never have the thought dogs can't communicate how they feel that's a pointless thought that's not crossing my brain my brain's bringing it up because i'm doing the other version of it the one that's obviously more complex

but they talk though exactly i don't i feel like i'm missing it i feel like i'm actually missing the point here they do talk though you're right yeah totally my dog used to tell me how they felt about their day totally just they put their paw on your shoulder and they go hey buddy how's it going you joke how's it going did did susie yell at you again today no was she being mean no was it did you forget to punch out you forgot to punch out didn't you i never forgot to punch out i looked all day forward to my punch out well then i don't know what it was but okay go fuck yourself at this point you're you're making fun of dogs and their ability to talk they don't talk well woolly okay you gonna shit on them for not being

the best talkers now i'm not i have nothing it's incredible that they could talk at all i have i have i have nothing to say about the the the dog and its ability to communicate what you see in here in the state of mind that you are in oh you're doing that thing where you're like all pet owners are secretly insane no it's a secret are you crazy i was a pet owner what are you talking about that's a silly thing that's why this whole conversation is so confusing because you had a dog when you were younger and that dog talked to you yes and it communicated what it wanted and it let me know things in the way that a baby can let you know what it wants yeah and that's and yes sure that's a different thing from what i was bringing up when i first

brought the point up of literally this argument for example which is so unclear that it requires re-examination to specify exactly what i mean when i say talk i don't know it felt pretty clear the first time a dog can't have this conversation says you why am i giving you i don't know i'll go all day it's you know why it's because you were going all day in nonsense world where i was just fine to move on but then you said something that was actually because i know your tone of voice well enough to know when you're saying a real yeah so you were doing pat pat pat pat but then you did a real a real and then the real baited me back in i tricked you yeah i got baited with the real i wish i could do this on purpose but i really don't

because it's very clear when you're pat pat pat pat but then you throw in the real and i'm like wait does he actually and then hey let's i was already i was walking out i was already walking away and then you fucking you know you made me turn around and go you fucking you know what you know what that's like dogs dogs do that you know i was on my way out the door i was closing it and i heard you whisper bitch and i fucking opened the door back what the fuck did you say that's what happened anyway but with nonsense that's what happened look cats got pat or is gonna get patched that's fine that's fucking crazy i want the patch to go wrong and delete everyone's cats files look if

you want to see animals doing fantastical things i don't recommend you go see cats go see a russian circus i don't recommend you try to sit there and stare at your dog until you can get telepathic thoughts like converted into your brain yeah that's bad that makes you kill people i don't recommend you try to have things happen like um wilfred was it the show featuring uh froto and his pet dog that became a character that hung out with him i'm not familiar okay well basically his dog was became a character today or something i think it was like wilfred or something similar to that um you know it's almost like uh brian from family guy yeah or are you just like oh yeah the character of the dog yeah is like that yeah if you that's what you're looking for out of

your dog then fuck off go away um but if you want to see animals being awesome yeah uh i can 100 percent recommend you check out the latest banger from the makers of fight of gods called fight of animals yeah that's just hilarious fight of animals is out there it is a it is a fighting game featuring crows and cats and dogs and penguins hook dog and mighty fox and muscle beluga muscle beluga is pretty strong you've got crow rilla you've got crow rilla in there for sure uh magic squirrel is uh super legit as well uh this is real and again like fight of gods there's a game here yeah there's a game here that you can spend your time actually playing so the problem of course with fight of gods being that even though it dropped and it patched in jesus and it patched in

all these other uh legendary gods we've even got a tier list out and out now by the way that's um who's top tier top tier is the uh the the buff dog okay both dog a is s's buff dog a is squirrel b is uh beluga and crow c is cat and d is fox damn yeah but that's just a random tweet yeah anyway uh we've got fight of animals out here doing this and uh fight of gods uh the problem was no online yeah bomber so then when this team decides to make another game not only do they put an online they put in gg fucking po gg fpo as it's known yes and gg po being in this game this random fucking goofy ass meme animal fighter has rollback netcode are you serious hat that's that's that's what i'm saying the jesus christ so now we're starting to have a serious problem

looking at this discussion from uh a point of view where we say it's too difficult it's it's not because these people implemented it no here's the thing it's too difficult it can mean different things depending on who's saying it whenever you hear it's too difficult uh from a japanese game developer there's a 50 chance that the difficulty comes from the person that is responsible for this goes we just don't do it that way we don't do it that way it's not the way it's done yes musakashi yeah it's very difficult um it's difficult because it goes against what we want to do that country has a hyper conservative work work culture and uh we don't know how to do it at the moment and putting someone into a place where they would learn how to do this is going against what we would like

but uh research can be done we can we can look into things certainly and then at the end of the research we'll go that is pretty good but it's not how we do things here unfortunately after all our research the situation is still very very musakashi listen it just can't be helped she got that eye yeah it just can't be helped you know what you know it's just yep yep so it's so frustrating she's got that eye what are you gonna do what are you gonna do so here's what you're gonna do you're gonna go install fight of animals and you're gonna play it and you're gonna enjoy it because it has rollback netcode so that means your net play is going to be tighter than a lot of games right now countdown to that league fighting game coming out now the game that

will get all the money support in the world and assuredly have aces netcode like fucking get it together before that day this this this type of thing happening uh i don't know if they planned this obviously they couldn't have done it too far before the discussion was heating up but it's the perfect timing because right in the middle of everyone going guys it's been too long you don't have an excuse anymore like a random indie studio goes yeah we just did it yeah but also right we've seen it implemented in older releases of games sam show five marvel uh one going back like they they they updated games retroactively to do like it's a it's like no you don't need to build the whole system around it you could go and do old shit building around it is better it builds

for we played ki last week uh it's fucking that ace that netcode's incredible we played ki on get into fighting games for fun uh last thursday uh that video should be dropping as well had a blast and we played sets against uh squad nate who uh was in australia and it was didn't didn't skip a beat didn't like the entire night there was like two moments of hiccup but every other must have been like major packet loss you know like something big every other match you can go back and watch the archives you can watch the video when it comes out we played a perfect set this is so stupid from around the world but my desire to play fighting games has honestly kind of evaporated over time i've been listening to because of this okay i've been listening to like your there's been

different things coming up recently that you've been bringing up as a as a like you're trying to i i can you're trying to identify a desire that is ghosting out of your body yeah and you're i can see you and i'm rapping and i i've i've latched on to what it is back when i was in high school and in college there was always people i could fucking play with at a drop of a hack it was trivial now i'm an adult and the only way that's gonna happen is if i drag my ass down to locals which i don't want to do or play online and every other game every other game i can play online like that like it's such a pain in the ass to play fighting games online it's stupid i'd be able to i would be able to get past all the other stupid shit that bugs me like i'm not

good and i'm out of practice and i'm not good right if i could just sit down and play a match every couple minutes time to get good at fight of animals i know right i put so much more time in a killer instinct than i expected i was going to because i had some buddies of mine who are all across the united states and a bunch of them had bad internet that we could play easy good matches with no problem dude some of the combos in this game they're fantastic time to just put the time in you're never gonna have a netcode problem what do you want you want your elmo you got a fucking cat in there he's probably got a elmo with c-tier it was terrible probably got a white costume is it so much to ask that a proper

video game no offense to these guys but like a proper real game you know what i mean like a proper big budget fighting game come out and be able to do the the stuff that a bunch of indie games have been doing i know killer instinct doesn't quite count as an indie game but k i skull girls skull is absolutely india's fuck and it's like why this is dumb this is stupid that's good i like that you just showed me that good meme just now there's a meme it's a picture of jd uh what's her name dw dw i always remember it's the same name as the as darkwing duck's kid yeah um no no no as the what the kid used to call him rather so there there are people defending delay base net stop defending delay base netcode and he says that

sign won't stop me because i can't read i would like to lump the delay base netcode i'm too old i didn't watch arthur defenders yeah along with the wi-fi champions as the anti-vaxxers of fighting games wow um that's a take that has already been established because someone just said they're the flat earthers and okay so i got which is which which is which so okay the delay people the people that still want delay they're anti-vaxxers and the the wi-fi people are the flat earthers because the the wi-fi thing is like wi-fi's fine it's like it literally it just it literally isn't it's just not it's not it's not fine that's not a thing that's not real uh i would go the other way on it because i would say the wi-fi people are the ones saying

this this is fine oh and then you're and then your game gets sick and you're fucking up the whole situation the ecosystem for everybody yeah with your stupid ignorance yeah you're right so it's the other way around and the delay base people are literally just spouting false information yeah this is wrong the delay base inform people like if you if you say delay base netcode is what you want at the end of the day you're just spouting out bullshit and you can go and hold and sit on that bullshit no one cares whereas the wi-fi people are ruining it the wi-fi people what they're fucking also sound like anti-vaxxers because they're like i tested my wi-fi speeds on the thing and it says it's fast because end of story because group inoculation requires everyone participating and

understanding the situation so okay get ggpo in these games or your own particular rollback net code that is better if you can make one um and then throw the red bars in the ocean yeah and here's the problem too nine times they did throw the red bars in the ocean that's what happened to australia yeah well they all form their own colony that's why they got set there to begin with yeah red bar connections out in england when you're getting into a discussion about like something like this that is so misunderstood um you're going to have infinite misinformation out there because at the end of the day um unless your hands on with it you're just going to echo talking points yeah and you just have to hope that the talking points you're echoing are like

correct here okay while also talking about your own experience yeah and if your own experience has been i don't play in a way that is where where these hiccups make a difference in my ability to win or lose yeah then you're not gonna care you're gonna say yeah that was fine i played against the a player and then it switched to the cpu and smash four and it was fine our brawl whichever one did that uh yeah that's that is the craziest solution to that problem ever just switched to the ai yeah no one will notice and then you just want to win the game and then for smash you know what they did instead of working on the netcode what they did was they spent a huge amount of time i assume

making the the cpu's in that game incredible and lifelike and fun to play against now back in a world where uh before rollback was a thing nine years ago yeah uh we people were like man the net you know netcode is bad but what are you gonna do it was just a state of affairs you just had to deal with it and you would basically just go like man i hate playing against people with bad connections or people that are too far away or whatever the fuck and it was just it was the state of things and now we've played ki and mortal combat and skull girls the problem has been solved and you're playing with people in europe you're playing with people in china you're playing with people in australia uh and the the most troubling connection of all people in california some for some fucking

reason and it's fine it's completely fine yeah but wouldn't you say the entire struggle of the human condition is in fact getting everyone to update their train of thought i fucking played a bunch of third strike online matches on the ps3 against max on stream like two and a half years ago and those matches might as well have been fucking local why are we still having this conversation like it's stupid human beings without update thinking holding on to those ways of thinking is the entirety of everything it's the history of planet earth i hate it you're gonna go again no okay i'm just orienting myself because i i sit in a bad way and it hurts my butt don't sit that way i i'm now sitting a different way for those of you who care about it um just a heads up

if you want free games epic is giving away free games they give away free games all time so uh twelve days of christmas has twelve days of free games uh one of them was into the breach i believe yeah that was day one i believe today is um what was it again uh ape out ape out that that that gorilla game i don't know what that is the game where you're the orange gorilla and you're just running around throwing shit all right and breaking people open okay um breaking people open yeah you're just fucking up people all right you're pretty you're you're pretty gnarly this it should have been called ape escape yeah well camp zoni got there 15 years ago yeah so it unfortunately means these are on the epic game store so fair warning i check

that store every week for their free game i have a massive library fair warning that your free game is on their store which is not a good one however free is the right price if you care to go get your free game versus pretty much anything letting people know some people want free games the store is improving at the slowest pace i can imagine like there's now like like tabs in their store page you can click through for categories and it's like wow only took you six months huh still no shopping cart well other games are improving at not a molasses pace damn for example blasphemous yes last one's got a big fucking patch big ass patch big ol fixes the two things they fix that are the most important bosses can't damage you after they've died anymore which solves all the save game problems

where you would get locked in a uncompleted will saves so not in a fun castlevania way no they would so if a boss killed you after the boss died the trigger to leave the boss room would not play correctly and you'd get stuck forever perfect and it would ruin your file and there was also a bug that your your your your your death statue if you died to spikes in certain conditions would sit on the spikes and be unobtainable well there's a bullet point list here of things that updated in the patch those are fixed yeah collusion detection during jumps jumping in midair it's possible a few frames after running off a platform it's called coyote time i like it as donkey kong jumping okay right the donkey kong country jump where you run off the

other platform and then and then you get a little bit of other the celeste developers termed it coyote time it's kind of stuck coyote time ghost jump um grab canceling uh the penitent one can now jump off walls ledges and ladders by pressing the grab cancel a lot of platforming updates it's just a cleaner better version of the extended controller support mouse buttons and swipe gestures at it better ui every action rebindable good shit as somebody 100 of that game that game is incredible and uh they're also announcing that there'll be free dlc coming so the second announcement is coming in early 2020 where they're dropping some dlc so shout outs to the game kitchen for uh some good shit coming out of that game is right up there as like one of the real real real

good ones and that studio name is right up there as one of the real real good ones the game kitchen oh that's good i'm like fucking great i love that game what you cooking up in there video games you got a stew you got a stew going and uh hey let's uh can we can we just say um that like the the re the clock reset button is broken on fallout yeah yeah it's it's non-stop so there's just we can't even keep up with it so i think we've spiritually been broken down all right people have figured out how to hack into other players inventories and spawn any item in the game and the game is just flying apart there's no point in hitting a story every week anymore it's just it's a broken button and we're

a broken that game that game because games have been defeated by it we've been defeated by how bad it's gotten games have come out fucked up right i can't think of a game that's ever come out fucked up and then proceeded to become more fucked up over time but this is one reset the clock it's already at zero sir like it's been it's been x number of days since a disaster has like just don't even update anymore button has been taped down everyone has walked away everyone has definitely walked away from that um so yeah fuck all that i want to go to our our happy final little christmas story everything is a okay between the witcher author and cd project yay uh an agreement has been formed where there's a new rights deal

between them so the witcher on netflix just came out and cd project announced an agreement with an i'm gonna try andres sapkowski i tried good enough the agreement satisfies and fully clarifies the needs and expectations of both parties past and present and sets our framework out for future cooperation between the two sides uh andres who we've talked about in the past had this to say uh-huh i was stupid enough to sell them the rights to a whole bunch all right i immediately forgive him they offered me a percentage of their profits i said no there will be no profit at all give me all my money right now the whole amount it was stupid i was stupid enough to leave everything in their hands because i didn't believe in their success but who could foresee their success i couldn't

all right oh fine i was about to say before you said the quote i was saying i hate this because he was so stupid now he's getting rewarded but he got up and said yeah i'm a dumbass you perfect okay good fine good thumbs up all good admitting that you were stupid dumbass huge points done great everything i've said in the past about him being dumb all right good fine you are in the clear you've you've good the acknowledgement redemptive arc complete 100% you can now marry sakura i now feel yeah i now i now i'm happy for you and your newfound uh wealth can't wait for the next witcher game yep because why the fuck would they make this deal if there wasn't another witcher game on the way yeah why would they ever bother witcher four has just been

confirmed by me yep that's it get it get that money i think it's it's you know the raw acknowledgement of the truth feels really my head cannon on this is that he signed the deal with netflix which in a way that was like would be much more like equitable to him in a way that he should have signed with uh cd prayak and uh one of the guys was like hey so you must made a bunch of money on those games huh and he's like no he's like why not and then he explained it and the the lawyer from netflix goes what are you fucking stupid the picture of this you know like somebody got a hold of him and was just like man you're fucking dumb there's a picture of him looking proper old and fucking just crotchety the definition of crotchety yeah as he sits next to

uh uh oh the interviewer from euro gamer oh who's a smiling young man that dude looks like my dad it's really really funny if you go check the article out which i'm linking to it looks like a grumpy version of my dad he's a grump he's a grump boomer and uh yeah i like his mustache and they all got you know now now there's all of course cd project is saying hey great things working together all the blah blah blah but that's it that's all there is it to it and uh a merry christmas to all and to all a good night that's it hooray hooray a happy ending a festivist for the rest of us it's time for the feats of strength frank stanza is the fucking greatest character in this world okay i know you said frank stanza yeah but it sounded like you said frank in stanza yeah

and my brain it's a it's a poetic monster did the work yeah on that say some quick letters got a couple coming in are they good are they oh oh it's one of those weeks you want to send your letter and see us possibly get disappointed by your bad letter send it into castle super beast mail gmail.com anyway there's there's there's some there's some letters you know it's that's fine you know we got a couple coming in all right let's hear the first bad one no i didn't say that you did i didn't say that um so mediocre says uh dear borbent and uchiha madden uh i'm a sakura fan and i want to apologize oh my god for that at the

start of this email towards the start of the nuns lp will we showcase some of the deep hated deep-seated hatred of sakura not here to call you out on it but i noticed a pattern you seem to have a powerful hatred for certain characters which caught my attention when i see a character like sakura who's underutilized and takes the backseat to the rest of the cast or a character like dar who makes a bad decision and pays for it i tend to put the impetus uh for them being forgiven or improved on the author not the character my question is have you ever put your disdain for a character's choices on the author and not the character usually what's the tipping point they're both it's always on the author everything it's all i mean but the characters aren't real it it ends

like exactly like the the the author being the end point of the discussion is uninteresting because there's nothing else to talk about of course the author wrote it right at the end of the day the flaws of the story are if you just say yeah the person who wrote it did a bad job then what else is you gonna have there's no point in having a further discussion about it i really hated how sakura was written right changes to yes sakura sucks like there's no functional difference between those two yeah and creating a difference between them just again it doesn't allow you to discuss why you shouldn't do this in your story yeah and then talk about stories that don't do that or do the opposite or do a better version of it right if you just go yeah they're you know so

putting it on the author doesn't help it's not a fruitful discussion it's very useful right so yeah it's a lot less fun yes so you just put it on so you can put it on kishimoto and that's fine but at the end of the day no i want to break down the parts where it's like yes sakura continues to make bad decisions she doesn't just her whole life she doesn't just end up being like overshadowed and then uh decide i need to do stung things for myself i need to catch up or or overshadowed and linger in the background or something she has those arcs but then she continues to make bad decisions which the camera and i say camera to just mean the framing of the story yeah almost puts it in a place where they're trying to make you understand her motivation

when she does things that are stupid and you're like but her motivation is stupid you know her motivation is that she really thought that kid in middle school was hot it like in some cases it even makes like Naruto's stubbornness for being like i'm gonna save you no matter what yeah right the like extreme redemptive qualities that we discussed for example it makes his stubbornness look like the sanest position in the world when she's going i have to go get him and then she has a moment where she like knocks out her teammates to sneak in to go get at sasuke first to get to be the one to take him out and then has a moment where she's trying to fake him out by being like yeah i'm here to join you no matter what and then he goes all right then kill

this one person that's my former teammate i don't need them anymore and her plan is to fake him out and then get him yeah but she has a moment where she's really considering killing the person and actually doing the flip maybe i should just and you're like why would you show her doing this stupid thing and then going no weight and then by that point sasuke is like aha see and then and then you get to the end and you're like oh she's just boy crazy so that's literally her whole character she has this whole moment of like reconsideration when she hesitates in this at this point and you're like are you actually considering what he's saying or going through with this i'm a fool you plan i don't know he looks pretty hot in that lavender it's dude uh it's an and then and this

is and like dude like some of the she walks up to neruto at one point and goes hey man you know what i was wrong the whole time sasuke really is a traitor and he needs to go so i know you say you want to save him but don't worry about that i like you i realized i was being stupid the whole time it's you neruto i love you what i love what i know about that you're the one i love she literally pulls this fucking dirtbag horseshit where she comes up to him and decides i'm like whether she's lying to herself or to him that's yeah yeah she's choosing to fucking just be this piece of shit sakura sakura in a moment where she hasn't actually put him out of her head but she's she's basically like like it's the rebound right and so everyone gets there's a conversation it's one

of my it's one of these moments where i'm like oh thank god this happened right and it's a moment where everyone all the other kids as adults they're having like naruto's not there and they all go yo sasuke's gotta go right yeah like he used to be our boy but he joined dices so he has to go yeah he's he's a murderer he's evil can we all and everyone's like ah fuck he's such a dick like but yeah a man clearly he's gotta go and you know and sakura are like i can't take it and they're crying and shima shikamaru's like nah nah he's gotta fucking go you know and everyone's just being like okay cool we get we get it and the last time he saw all you he tried to kill you and the time before that he knocked you out and the time before that like what and so you're right

and so they're just like like they're just like uh he tried to kill her and like someone else in the village will fuck you bitch like jesus anyway but when he knocked her out that first time he said thank you so he did it in the right way anyway she is dick crazy so they fucking have this whole moment of like okay cool we all we're all in agreement yeah let let let this asshole cry her eyes out but who's gonna go tell naruto yeah right who's gonna tell the walking nuke that uh we're gonna we're gonna we we made a decision on this you know and then she goes i'll be the one to tell him and everyone's like that's a terrible idea and and she's like no no no no he's part of my teammate this is us three this is a team seven thing let me do it it's not anymore

it's the whole so then they go all right and then they walk behind her carefully and she walks up to naruto and goes hey naruto guess what i love you are you i love you this is what you wanted to hear the whole time right the way it played out yeah i was foolish i just you know i didn't see it and you're the one i've always wanted and naruto standing there and he looks at her and he fucking you can see him doing the headcock and he's piecing the cogs together and he basically just kind of he takes that second and he goes get the fuck out of here be gone be gone how dare you you're full of shit how dare you and she goes what but isn't this what you always wanted to hear and then fucking kiba and whoever standing behind her going oh my god is this bitch serious

and he fully fucking smells it he smells her serpentine breath and he calls it out and it's fucking infuriating she's awful she's so awful every moment every breath she takes every move she makes is just worse than the last dude that's legitimately unbelievable unbelievable now and the and to cut it back kishimoto is obviously a fault for writing the character that way but that doesn't make the character not the worst thing i've ever heard today the worst thing i've ever heard yeah you know what that is appropriate the way that i thought that's terrible and this is after uh the seed of of hinata had been planted yeah because she shows up to help him fight in against the fucking tournament there's a legit legit one where like like like the village is dead

and and she jumps in to be like i'mma help naruto for real for real giant titties and she jumps and like and he and she's like because i fucking care about you bro and then like sacrifices herself in a moment naruto goes oh god what the fuck and he's like dams the dam yeah them damn them yams the shabam the wampam where'd all that shit come from thank you ma'am i was hidden underneath is this that branch family shit this thing you're hidden under the yuga a jacket you couldn't see it the biaque again has no blind spots but those titties do what what what okay the blind spots behind this all right yeah sure anyway so she's awful in ways you have not even seen yet and then every time sunade shows up and like punches the ground or kicks open a

fucking cliff yeah and you go oh yeah that's the thing that soccer's supposed to emulate and become eventually but is not because sunade doesn't have any of the nonsense bad baggage this and she didn't once and it was like oh cool she's turning into that and it's like no let's just bring the other one back please yeah fuck dial it back yeah you know what's interesting it's it's actually like like up until the point that you're like you're boy crazy and you're just going after you you cannot live without the scent of uchiha dick right that's one thing right she can't she needs the width and and he knows there to like fucking amp her up and shit and and she's running in a straight fucking she's running straight forward towards a cliff because she can't get enough of this

dick on the edge of that cliff i'm telling you and that's one thing and that's one dimension of being awful yeah but then you get this emotional manipulation shit where you're just like you you know what and this is the only this is the only bit that you can actually feel perhaps a little bit good about right you're so awful that you two pieces of shit deserve each other they do um so i was just thinking right so let's take let's take Naruto there's characters in this that are horrible murderers and we'll probably engage on redemptive arcs right pin in that we're gonna talk about that later um and when you do your redemptive arc if you're just a horrible psycho murderer if you genuinely sacrifice parts of yourself or yourself or whatever you can you

can not walk it back but the audience will deal with it so like Vegeta is a really good example yeah okay Vegeta's evil he's super evil right but because he's willing to fucking die fighting like sell and freeze all that shit and for the the greater good and all that crap people go yeah okay you're a good guy now well let me elaborate on that when you've done horrible atrocities and evil yeah and you regret them mm-hmm it's not enough to just regret them you have to act we've always said to act and you usually have to die well here's the thing right in storybook context yes you can say that because they know they they haven't earned whatever but but let's think about but think about it in another frame right what is the most you can possibly give everything yeah

so this person is willing to give everything they can and more to fix possibly what they've done or right the wrong yeah so but when it's characters that aren't psycho murderers characters that aren't bad enough to gain redemptive arcs that would have a drama to them when they're just liars or pieces of shit with no body count with no body count with no body count or redemptive arc is therefore like it would be too much it's yeah and so I feel like they can never be fixed so like Sasuke you could fix if he did something grand and selfless and in contrast to his earlier actions right he gets a body count right and you'd be like you'd be like okay well you know I've always you know I've been evil but now I'm good and I'm working

at being good and the important thing is that when you're when your shitty character becomes redemptive other characters should still treat them like shit because they're asshole I mean they should have to earn it yeah that can yeah I can that depends on like Goku and Vegeta Goku just fucking turns on a dime and goes okay and it's like calm down Goku because you've got you've got a you know a dumb friendly right where other people are like isn't Vegeta like a psycho right and at a certain point like how many times you got to save the world right but with with like a character like Sakura who's just a bitch and a dumbass it's like what is she supposed to do to turn that around stop right but stopping isn't enough so what's funny is what you're attempting is actually

something they tried with a character there's a character Danzo in the story yeah who's like he's for the leaf and he does everything for the leaf including being a human a horrible piece of shit yeah right and he's like the scummiest you can get whilst doing it by by being on the right by being on the right team right you will go through any atrocity you will um god there's a man everybody really needs to watch Legend of the Galactic Heroes there's a wonderful character who embodies this entire thing but it's like you are on the right team and you are going through whatever needs whatever means what ever is the most done yes right um and they will always be able to stand and argue that i'm doing it for the right reasons kind of thing and you're like

and people are like but you're scum and usually there will be a moment where that character in order to clarify because the audience can't live in this uncomfortable world of ambiguity yeah that character will then pick up a baby and stab it yeah and then go this was an enemy baby there there's there's two ways there's two ways around it either they go full crazy or something happens and they go oh my god it was totally pointless it was not worth it at all and they like mentally self-destruct but like you you have to have that moment so that the audience goes you are on the fence and you are clearly leaning this way from the opposite side of the fence and now you stab that baby so there you go yeah right now you can safely be written off

as a goodbye you know as so there's baby stabber yeah as a baby stabber right because otherwise when you have these moments where someone like that gets it super hard you go whoa whoa what did you what did you do to deserve that Jurassic world lady you know she's gonna be she's gonna outlast that movie she's the one every time from now on you have a moment of over doing it it's that lady that's the one for like nothing and it because you're i because you can't why because she was kind of a bitch is that it because you're not sure if they were going for the tragic casualty or the or the comeuppance you know she got it worse than most movie villains get it she got it worse than james bond villains get it for nothing and and again you don't you don't know if it was

because she was kind of douchey like i was like what and like her doucheiness isn't even wrong because she's uh she's uh she works at the park yeah and then her boss her boss's nephews show up and her boss goes take care of my nephews and she goes what the fucking no i that's not it's not my fucking job she's wearing a power suit i'm i'm i'm running the fucking dinosaur park what the fuck to the dinosaur death room with you woman yeah like what the fuck no if she like she she got that job to get away from children you know what i mean like yeah anyway it's it's that that's that's the standout for going hard the opposite way where you're like dear god was that overkill why did that lady have to get it so bad comboed air comboed three three dinosaurs

right might have been four oh anyway um yeah she gets it worse than the villainous dinosaur everyone she gets she gets killed by the moses or the same way the villain dinosaur gets killed by the moses or but she got comboed into it so um all of this really is is insanely interesting and and the the the the dumbness of like everything that you left off on that you know the trajectory that your characters are headed in yeah like they just keep going that way and the story puts boost pads on the ground to help them get Naruto getting dumber and dumber and sasuke keeps getting worse and worse and sakura gets like it just everyone crazier accelerates harder in the directions they were going away from each other like nobody's having change of hearts and

then coming back to like a a consensus or something with one exception and it's one that you could have kind of seen but it's it's basically the the the threads that makes aske accelerate past the point of nonsense are are based on itachi obviously yeah and itachi ends up being a pretty rad open and shut case character yep a hundred percent um zabuza ends up being a rad open and shut case character and then little he gets a little he gets a little um a little comeback moment yeah where they go back to him and you're like oh don't fuck him up don't fuck him up no they didn't they didn't you're like okay good but itachi ends up being a super interesting thing where like it just itachi as a as a good as a as a as a strong character

amplifies everything wrong about sasuke yep to the fucking like unbelievable nth degree to such a magnitude that you're like it's it's infuriating this cool turn for this villain ends up destroying one of the heroes of the story in terms of writing and knowing somehow somewhere in my brain that backwards he's gonna be totally sitting fine reading a newspaper in the leaf as a far away i can't like working backwards from that point of view you're in the weirdest place ever because you know who gets there and who's fine and it's becoming more infuriating that they are it's crazy it's crazy to think that old old man sasuke ends up with a pipe and slippers yeah reading a newspaper and sakura is at the park with the kids and she's going it's our anniversary

i wonder where sasuke is anyway shikimaru should have become the hokage because he's smart there's no necessary need for the hokage to be the most powerful ninja because that's how you get dumb asses like naruto in charge naruto is gonna run that place into the ground dude um i mean it feels like the obvious choice i don't even know if you wanted it but the anyway stuff i haven't seen the full arc yet but stuff happens to fucking reroute a rewrite the way everybody feels about him and um as far as i'm concerned the main character of naruto changed when a flash bomb went off behind shikimaru and he put his hand out yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you went oh oh oh oh that's the coolest thing that's it there are all these characters

that are using magic demons there are characters that are waving fans around have puppets and sand powers this guy throwing a light bulb behind him and putting his hand out so the shadow stretches is the coolest thing that ever happened like wouldn't your best leader be the one who is a tactical fucking smart person unbelievable genius yeah yeah well anyway um yeah let's go let's go get naruto out of office how okay and that's the end of the conversation isn't it he'll throw 100 naruto's at you and they'll all be fox freakazoids oh that's where you're going okay i was i was gonna i don't think i don't think naruto would make a good hokage well the votes say 180 million people voted for naruto and 2000 voted for the next candidate that's weird how could so many votes for

and you just see naruto in the voting booth with like the shadow clones try to impeach him it didn't work it didn't work didn't take too many clones you know this shadow clone thing should really get out i don't think with the the system's going to work with the shadow clone thing that thing goes so much further is that why the shadow clone thing was banned because it's a threat to ninja democracy what because the shadow clone scroll is a banned scroll that's the first episode oh oh yeah who knows who knows but that thing gets so busted by the end dude like like because you get one of these moments where because every time naruto gets stronger in his own his power multiplies by a thousand so you there's you get to points where

massive insane plot battles are happening yeah and um and like naruto goes through a full arc and then at the end of it it's like oh yeah that was one of his clones yeah he was actually somewhere else doing something else and that whole time that entire battle took place that whole fucking arc you went through multiple episodes whatever everything that happened was all just a part of his energy sent to go do the thing over there that's like oh that's the most come on it's yeah yeah they do that they do there's a clip that i saw from boruto that warms my heart which is uh naruto bumping into a table at uh bort's birthday and him poofing out of existence and the cake hitting the floor and they're like oh dad's doing something dr. man hatton yeah dad's out there doing

dr. man hatton i thought dad was gonna come home for my birthday talk yeah fuck yeah and it's like jesus christ absolutely big blue dong isn't this what you wanted this is what you wanted right it's so bad multiple blue dongs i'm over here in the lab i'm on the moon does naruto remember or know what his clones are doing boy does he well then how come he he could do anything that's the point he could do anything and guess what yeah that's why why is he because that that's it you just that's that's the whole thing he can be everywhere and do everything at the same time congratulations you've cracked the story what how can you have a story with a character like that he gets to do everything and then when they disappear it all comes back

hey every clone read one book a day go it would take you up how about this it would take you 100 years to learn this jutsu would it cool okay i learned it like done that's it next next that's the entire thing that's so stupid that's so stupid you figured it out and it's because he works really hard and the fact that he has an infinite source of energy that no one else has has nothing to do with it it's not infinite it's shut up it's functionally it's not infinite it's not even two thirds of infinite it's barely half of infinite yeah Naruto sucks so bad dude Naruto sucks so fucking bad holy shit dude i love talking about

you don't even know where you don't even know and i'm saying this is the one who's constantly being told no you don't even know i'm telling you you don't even know and everyone's telling me you don't even know there's one thing that i know that i know you don't that i know you're gonna have a connection over and it has entirely to do with the redemptive arc shit okay and it's a character they don't give a redemptive arc to okay and it's like i can't believe it i really wish you would just let me tell you but oh we'll get that i can't believe it i know a bunch i don't but there's stuff i don't know so yeah anyway because all your complaints about sasuke are gonna fucking fall away in the face of this shit um so i hope that answers your question mediocre

sakura still sucks and kishimoto sucks and naruto sucks time axis says last podcast you guys were making fun of the concept of secondaries as a gatekeeping fake fan thing oh it's hilarious but that's not what really is going on uh it's not about dictating whether someone is allowed to call themselves a fake fan or not a fake fan or not it's more of an attitude thing with a scrub quotes kind of energy when people are unwilling to engage in the original of something but still have a strong and ill-informed opinion about it that's when they're a secondary they'll often bring up complaints or plot holes that could easily be rendered invalid if they just watched or played the original thing here's examples if someone skips the original ava and only watches the

rebuilds then says ava is just a generic fan-servicing hot-blooded mecha shonen anime or someone plays mainline smt for the first time and says this sucks where's the social links or if they watched gundam sea destiny and then complained when someone suggests the original is better it's that kind of thing if you get this concept maybe you can think of your own examples of things that you're deep into so that secondary is explained there is an element of i mean that is a lot more nuanced but that does still completely open up the door of like well you haven't watched you know the original doctor who's back in the 50s you know they dealt with the problem you're having with the new season or what have you it's all about the context and

moderation but it's also way more fun to think of secondary people and laugh at them in point am i a secondary smt fan hell yeah i am that first game is fucking hard it's really hard i if it is if this is the truth and it is in fact not about the gatekeeping aspects then that is a pleasant uh like you said nuanced it's not about gatekeeping it's just about the new fans being stupid and you being able to tell them that they're stupid and that can be said with sarcasm or without right like depending on if you're an asshole if i have a question and it is true that the new doctor who problem if like if the old doctor who answered the question i have then i want to know the answer yeah i'd love to know the answer but like yeah but if you

are making a a hard fast dumb judgment as opposed to just being curious about what the thing is then of course that's going to piss people off that are like dude the answer is here you just didn't know it right it's your attitude as opposed to what you know or don't know it's like it's normal to not know things uh it's it's stupid for you to assume that you are an authority when you don't know things it's like uh revenge of the sith the opening title crawl the war between the clones and the robots is going on and there are heroes on both sides what uh-huh and with that i am going to go back to the bathroom because holy shit i'm going to piss myself all right well um if you if you enjoy uh these Naruto takes of which there are many i would suggest you take a look at uh Naruto

ultimate ninja storm 3 on woolly versus because uh boy do we do nothing but hit these moments as summarized by the games and then eventually jumping over to see the moments in the anime getting better context where we can and like as it hits me raw we have these big conversations about it and if you want more of that i highly recommend you check that out i'm having fun with it but it's also really interesting to see itachi turn into the boss that's some that's some fucking big thoughts there on things especially finishing that deals that full burst dlc on it but yeah man i'm so stoked to see where the fuck someone who gets a fucking loving hug from their brother can continue down their past their path to full on 800% assholery despite the fact that

they've been expressly told to chill the fuck out it's gonna be it's gonna be great it's gonna be great i'm very excited you know there's so many exit ramps that he could have taken along the story every arc gives him an exit ramp and he fucking not only drives by it he blows it up behind him in the rearview mirror and makes sure is that no one can take that path what are you talking about sasuke yeah i figured when i came out but just making sure you could come back from being evil sasuke not only but this he blew up the exit ramp with the thunderclap i'm gonna make sure i can't come back from being evil but you know what it doesn't matter because i also happen to have

a fucking like what would you do i have an ability that lets me roll the dice and get a new ability i don't even know what to equivalent like it's wait what i this is that shoringan shit but what if every level gave you another like every like you know how you wait a couple levels and then you get like fire yeah and then you wait a couple levels and then you get mazio dying yeah wait a little bit more and then you get luminaire yeah yeah yeah yeah what if every level had some new shit okay and the shit had no the shit was as as unlinked as the three examples i just gave all right right where there's no common thread to them whatsoever

so i can do this now yeah mm-hmm why because i can do this now and that's where you blame kishimoto yeah but before we blame kishimoto we have to decide who to blame for star wars lucas is far and away he's left he is gone i really thought okay hold on guys that's the end everybody thank you for tuning in thanks for coming into the podcast have a merry christmas and a happy new year of course uh podcast is still gonna continue to come out we're gonna do next week yeah and then we after it's probably gonna be late though yeah i'll probably be late but it's still gonna happen yeah well we're not gonna miss any so that's fine um and uh yeah tune in to uh woolly versus if you want to see more of all the things i mentioned Naruto and table lords and and then

saturday fun streams are are continuing to be a thing saturday we're just gonna pop on whatever the fuck whether it's a salt party or a table lords it's gonna be a good time so far everybody's enjoyed it uh tune in for that or you can also do your thing before we begin oh yeah i'm streaming on twitch.tv slash angriest pad just check that out all right and now uh we're doing the spoiler cast for star wars episode nine the rise of skywalker the rise of the skywalker all right so if you don't want to get spoiled on this movie if you haven't seen it fucking leave right now all right it's your fault now okay now that's time that's the time there you go that's the buffer hit me okay well uh i'm surprised in the sense that uh i really came in here after you saw after

you tweeted out that you enjoyed your movie going experience and i forgot what else you said uh it felt like it felt like uh jj walked into a room with a poop on the floor that said rian johnson on it and someone told him to mop it up and he just kind of spread it around the floor um but i know whatever you wrote i definitely walked out of there going like oh i guess he liked it i did like it which and i also hated it okay so you depending on what five minute span of the movie i was watching okay so it's a little more complex it is my feelings on this film are very complex okay because i came in sitting down ready to go woolly you know that you're bad at improvising your thoughts so piece them together as best as you can yeah and be ready for the possibility

that you're gonna shout me down on them no because i have some fucking problems with episode nine i have and i can see how divisive it is yeah in the same way that the last jedi was divisive i have a lot of parts that i find to be so bad that they're hilarious in and that's enjoyable in its own sense i have a couple parts that i genuinely really liked but overall i'm just left feeling like oh okay right in the middle right that's right in the middle so here's the thing for me a lot of these things on the it's like it's due to circumstance this movie for whatever it is happens to be the end of a nine film arc yeah which puts so much more weight on it and is coming off the tail ends of something that completely swerved yeah so it's got to unswerve so the movie decides that it not

only has to be the end of a nine film arc it also has to be two movies and it is two movies no it's three it's a trilogy okay hit me because for me it was journey to getting the rock and then everything after that because here okay okay okay so so so here here's here's how i'm gonna i wrote down a lot of notes yeah let's hit it um i'm gonna come at it this way all right first of all whatever we refer to the last Jedi the understanding will be that for most people you're referring to that as the bad yeah right but here's how i felt about the last Jedi right um here's what there's things there are four things about that movie that i liked uh-huh um the first thing that i liked about the last Jedi so that just so that it's yeah i think i agree with you on most of these

actually i fucking love tired luke yeah tired luke's good tired luke is great i don't mind tired luke because that is basically what he became in real life sure and so him being like man fuck all that you don't need luke tired luke doesn't bother me tired luke is great all right um i love the lightspeed kamikaze sure it's cool it's a cool thing you even see it in rise of skywalker at the end in one like quick montage shot one of the star destroyers that gets blown up in the ending montage is spliced in half with the streaks going through it so people have learned to kill themselves for a greater cause holy shit i didn't catch that yeah it happened there yeah wow so someone going down probably yeah it's i think it's the one that's over the the

fucking ewoks okay we're just like yeah that's if i'm going down i'm gonna hit that button yeah alternatively you just cause ships to do that and point them okay um so the movie getting meta and being like nothing matters right when i went that when you hear that and when i say that a lot of the time i'm referring to the fact that it's like twisting things that you thought were setups sure right so the one that i liked about that i didn't mind the idea that your parents are no one i like that because it was like oh this is where you're taking the story that's fine we can have a good story coming out of that i didn't like that i really really didn't like that it turned out to be like yeah i was just faking not remembering that's that

that was terrible but the idea because i hate i hate and this is my biggest problem about rise of skywalker i fucking fucking hate how everything is like almost monarchistic magic wizard family okay it's so fucking incestuous and awful well except there's one but there's one thread that isn't that i'm gonna bring up which is one of the things i liked there as well um so the idea that your parents are for are no one yeah is i'm totally fine with that it reminds me of the kid with the broom yeah right or whatever we're just like yeah there's a little bit of that that can happen somewhere whatever things yeah you know and the idea that what are you gonna do with that if that's what your stories wants to be you can tell a good story of like okay you're not anyone special

your legacy doesn't matter being the chosen one doesn't matter it's it's what you're gonna do with what you do have sure right yeah and um obi won screaming you were the chosen one like as yeah that that as being a like fuck the fuck you know all that shit was done i hated it because also because that stuff was dumb and because we saw this very flawed jedi order yeah the idea that luke is like man fuck those stupid jedi's yeah great fine you're like yeah actually they were dumb in a bunch of ways too and the movie's actually calling that out yeah so that's satisfying in tlj great um and then the last thing is uh the premise of the idea in the same thing we just discussed that um that fuck the light side fuck the dark side we might be able to find another

way yes right and that's that's i think the movie's biggest problem with me is that uh the best part about it is the fucking shot that they didn't take so we talked about it when the movie came out and kylo being all evil held in his hand out to rey and be like let's do a new thing let's do a brand new fucking thing it'll be so cool it'll be totally different it won't be light side or dark side it'll be some in between maybe it'll be gray and she's like no no no you come to me right and then be like ah ah ah and then not doing it is where that story totally fails because the the idea of literally even just like having a discussion having a compromise a meet in the middle it's the it's not a star wars move yeah it's not a good versus evil move to do that

but that's such an interesting thought if if to follow that through if the movie had ended with a shot of them like shaking hands and then nothing happened after that i would think a lot more favorably about that movie than i do now at the same time you do then have to start addressing things like okay but what about all the bullshit you did right even if i'm gray that doesn't mean you didn't do a lot of horrible things yeah but now we can follow through and figure out together what that means after we have this moment of okay for now the new thing so that yeah the cowardice and backing out of the gray oh would have been so cool is is terrible don't set things up yeah and have like i think one of the worst things you can do for your story

is have the story go hey what if this what if this happened and everyone goes yo that'd be really cool and then go nah just kidding like that sucks man assassin's creed three that sucks yeah what if this happened but it didn't go ah got you you mad you're mad that you're not getting to enjoy yourself yeah um and and me being okay with tired luke means like see i'm okay with tired luke i think the reason why luke is tired is terrible is awful like his character deciding i'm just gonna murder this kid i'm just gonna kill him is like so nonsensical compared to like everything that came before but that like like him having that moment here's there like maybe i'm wrong on this right but hit but to me that's a moment where

you go the the the force and the light side and everything i know about how bad this can go because i can feel it right tells me the right thing to do is to do this in this moment and then he goes what the fuck am i doing yeah and i'm like yeah that makes sense when the good guys are telling you that like the right thing to do is to follow your heart search your feelings and do the right thing and he goes what the no no this is stupid right that's something i can understand and if that's see here's the part here's the part where that breaks down you know i can understand that from a lot of characters you know who i can understand it from luke you know why because when luke is beating down his robot monster father yes who is a genocidal maniac the

the galaxy has never seen yeah and he sees that he's like in a pathetic weakened position he goes no way man i won't do it i would never kill this guy even if even if i'm wrong blah blah but then when his nephew who has literally done nothing is asleep in his bed he goes to him goes yeah i gotta cut him but i gotta cut him i don't think i don't think this is good okay looking at i'm keeping an eye on the time for you but um i'm not saying i don't feel it's a no way man in that moment because i think returner the jedi especially the way it starts with him going to fucking jabba's place yeah is actually setting up luke to be a darker version of what he was an empire yeah given what just happened to him and you're starting to see him possibly

embracing the dark side ish in a little maybe he's doing a little bit more of an aggressive what you know and it's not like it's a little bit more like oh there's a chance he could fall here sure but the climax doesn't fall the climax of jedi is him is him throwing his lightsaber away and going no i won't stab space hitler because i'm a jedi and jedi's don't stab space hitler his space hitler is cowering like a pathetic asshole yeah and i and that's not and it's not person aging up and nothing tragic happening to him happening to him before that going oh i had some bad visions i better kill my nephew like it's ridiculous it's it's ridiculous that's you know what it's not even um it is not even a fully defendable point yeah right but it is like in my in in that moment

if that's the thought process where you're going where he's kind of like man this shit is leading me down a stupid path yeah in these impulses and that's what and that's how i played out then i i that's how i felt i do like the the reveal being like wait what am i doing this is stupid what am i doing this is being misunderstanding but but having but having that moment goes against what the same person that would have done the same and it's like why would he get dumber with age like why would he become less wise with age that makes no sense okay no you've convinced me right i'll accept that so that's that's my big problem with that i also think it's like lame that he dies to do almost nothing i do think i do think that he um i'm not like they weren't hinting at him being

anyway like i think i think that like uh uh whatever you know what i know how to break off from this point you know what's crazy we're talking about a spoiler cast for rise of skywalker and when i walked out of rise of skywalker all i could think about was the last jedi because rise of skywalker is so desperate to course correct it's like feverish okay and it's speed away from the last movie i've never seen anything like it it's fucking nuts rose has never mentioned my name she's there but like okay her name is never spoken allowed um so so in that right let's go into what you like about about rise of skywalker i think every single bit with c3po nailed i love c3po and i think they did a really decent job of actually

giving him a reason to exist in the film which the last two really fucking didn't apparently he'd been asking for that for a while now yeah and it was a good decision because anthony daniels is the shit and his raw robot charm comes through okay i think i thought the movie was pretty oh yeah oh look great um fantastic here's the other thing i like the new cast is likable yeah right that's one of those things that you have to worry about because the prequel cast was not i think boyega and finpo finpo finpo finpo it sucks for ray because she's supposed to be part of that gang but it's all about finpo finpo bro they're they're cool right there's a likable cast yeah um and this movie reminded me that i'm like you know like even if you don't have to do like even if you're not

echoing the past i like these characters enough to be like let's let's see what they're up to i i thought they're a likable cast right um chui got the medal yeah that was crazy right wedge came out yeah live shockingly right um fucking uh hawks got done done it he got done done it for the most fucking basic bitch reasons i i can appreciate a plot twist so the the the the hawks being the spy thing win the hawks being a spy thing is kind of perfect because it's both super terrible and stupid but then the movie goes that's stupid terrible and then he says characters literally go what yeah huh and then he says i don't give a fuck right i don't i hate this asshole kyle so much and you're like yeah okay yeah fine yeah and then he gets it gets it like unceremoniously like in a second

it's like you're on the right side of this battle you're and you're on such the right side of it that like you will even like your anger and hatred is so yeah thorough that you will double cross your own side right okay i think that the they hit a really good middle ground between the flashy lightsaber shit and the heavy lightsaber shit i thought all the times they hit their laser swords together looked really cool i think the part where they fought in the ocean was i think that whole sequence was fantastic yeah and they also did not go um so there's a whole thing about lightsabers in general where it's like look are you gonna go clone wars are you gonna go a new hope what do we want here and they split the difference and then you go okay what can

else when you do and it's like well we can do ray park i'm like i like that yeah but then we also have rift avenge of the sith i'm like no no no no don't do that yeah right so only villains do that um so yes they did split the difference and i think that the yeah the fight in the in the ocean on the ship it's like i i actually really liked it because like it accidentally i don't i think i'm gonna say it's an accident because it was a double reversal of the two other fights that it is exactly like it is obiwan and anakin on the lava planet and obiwan win yeah and it's reversed and then it's the reverse of the fight in uh revenge it's our return of the jedi in the same exact location i'm like okay that's thematically appropriate and this character's winning and then this character

wins echoes echoes echoes yeah ray wins but she actually lost everything everything is an echo yeah it's like okay that worked um okay here's what else right i was super like worried about what the wonder twin powers we're gonna be we're gonna turn into yeah and in the end i'm like okay you did some stuff that's actually interesting yeah you know the whole the teleporting scenes of the the fight where the mask falls was really cool and i'm like okay that's interesting stuff sentiment like and then and then using this like like reality warping ability to literally teleport items yeah in a in a weird way that it's like okay i think the app i think the best i think the moment of the movie that i enjoyed the most by far was the one second moment where adam driver

pulled the lightsaber out of his head sure and then went uh sure i'm like down like okay great but then you have to go what does that lead to and it leads to all ultimately just all cool you guys are an extra strong battery yeah that's all it meant yeah right in the end it didn't really go anywhere that like they went there and it went somewhere else which is we have such an emotional connection to each other that we can almost like ignore uh everything that happened where i think that's uh let's see i liked i like c3po i liked the fight on the in the water i like that i like adam drivers post a face turn character and i have one other thing that i think is really cool i like how uh billy d williams um managed to be alive um and was on set looking for booze and they managed

to film him accidentally saying lines um that you should have you should have hung out with billy d williams and had him re-audition or something and then been like no he's and cut him back out of the movie look thank they can it's unbelievable that he's in the movie you could tell from from from the first one that this trilogy was going to be about killing off the old trio yeah one by one and then you got the head pup fake with the leah in the last one but it's like okay solo dies in the first one you go they're gonna kill one of the three every movie yeah that's gonna be the that's what's gonna happen right um he comes in as the fourth a little bit there and shoo he's hanging out but anyway what i wanted to say was how you guys have some booze here's here's like and one

thing that i that i that i that i did like and this is uh just to do with the that final battle and actually to do with this the thread that we talked about where you go rey your parents were no one you're no phenomenon in the end when palpatine is like let's end the story of rebellion yeah and the actual rebel army fighting him are literally just anyone who flew in with their random ships yeah the idea that anybody carries the flag in this moment not just people wearing the orange jumpsuit yeah fair enough all right is cool right and that's an important thing all the yeah okay because this empire and the first order and the final order and everyone has been under the thumb of these assholes for a long time yeah and an organized rebellion has been

wiped out and regrouped and fucking wiped out again but at the end of the day they called in regular people to go fuck those assholes i'm done with this shit so okay i thought that was a good point it was the all the warriors fucking moment right and that to me is where the your parents were no one yeah that's that threat thread followed somehow managed to continue if if they built around it it would have led to more of that now let's segue into the bad oh boy because the parents were no one thread is the most emblematic problem because your parents were no one gets turned into your parents were emperor palpatine's kids so step one jk the dead speak right and you have the trailer where you know no one ever really dies of course yeah um a line that's not in the movie but but

the the idea of palpatine being there right was keep the force strong immediately immediately upsetting yeah it's like oh fuck this like you oh vader you know the six movie arc about vader how that actually meant nothing and the idea of echoes that we talked about where you're like echoes look there's um there's a wedge echoes of things the the lightsaber location battle battle locations right and then at some point you're like but you stand on your own two feet to a degree right and i felt the force awakens did that and that's why i liked it and here you're like no literally palpatine again and you go oh my god you had nothing and snoke became nothing smoke was invalidated smoke snoke went from being the thing i was most interested about i can't being less than a footnote

i can't believe i've never seen a character in a story get more irrelevant with every scene it's crazy the first time you see snoke he's a giant head it's he's he's he's like uh because okay you're so he's not he's a giant i know i know i know people like to to be like can you please talk about this without referencing red letter media but there is one thing that mike stoklasa pointed out in one of his reviews that that i loved about snoke which is the lightsaber shit and yoda has a tiny lightsaber and he makes the joke of like what if what if the emperor was a 100 foot tall centaur gorgon yeah the fuck is yoda gonna do with this little lightsaber yeah the coolest thing the coolest moment in my mind in the new shit is like what if snoke was like a

100 feet a giant sith he's just he's and he's not extra 4c he's just fucking big because there is a race that happens to be this big in the world right it got your brain juices flowing like i'm totally not gonna fight him with your laser sword got the brain juices going i never would have imagined a titan as a sith it made me wonder okay this is a new problem that requires bold solutions yeah right brave new solutions are required it means that the final confrontation with with snoke isn't going to be a lightsaber duel something else something weird yes and then you see it's a hologram you're like oh like before the even the end of the scene and it's funny you mentioned that because in my brain it's also i'm like i want to talk about this movie and do this

spoiler cast with as few rlm quotes as possible because i don't need that to elaborate on any totally um yeah i just want to point that out because it's like that was a joke that actually became interesting and i and then they ruined it in the first scene where you see that i really really went like we were i didn't it wasn't there a like a lean back i think we saw it together and we went oh it's big oh cool what is this right and then the the hologram flickers out and you're like i don't care anyway it wasn't even no it was the next it was the next scene and then it keeps getting worse until eventually he's sitting on a throne and he just dies in the tlp yeah he's he's this big bad and they trick him they and he gets killed for no reason or whatever

and then and then in this he's in a fucking show you a jar full of them and you're like this is the most pointless thread ever why did we even go down this road right the answer is because it was directed by two arguing directors who were having a conversation with their movies yeah because one goes now this is star wars the other goes no this is star wars so jj picks up the fucking ball and goes there's no time we would have established perhaps a returning palpatine in in the second movie if i was on it we would have done a little hint but we don't so so fuck it the fortnight speak right fortnight gonna tell you whatever happened what happens at fortnight the the okay you know the beginning of the movie is the title crawl the emperor the dead

speak the dead speak yeah the transmission is in fortnight he's out the team comes i'm alive and i'm i'm will have big sift revenge and it's like oh wow so fortnight is now replaced last jedi as as required viewing gotta raise the stakes he's got his big army of star destroyers every one of them is a star as a as a as a fuck star killer all right so horrible stakes raised holy shit stakes raised that is so awful stakes raised it's raised too high yeah so it's raised way too high did you have i don't know and be honest did you have the moment where the when that happened and you went oh god we're just blowing up another planet again it doesn't even mean anything anymore right yeah and then you go because you're like okay the first time it happens in the in the first

fucking movie you go oh my god that's right and then it happens in in uh whatever and um force awakens yeah and you go up they're doing it again yeah right it's the same it's a threat on that level and by the time you see it here you're just like oh my god again we're just gonna do this every time now so right and then in that moment where you also go holy shit the entire battalion has them this is how they it's supposed to be a moment of this is an insurmountable force however will we defeat them and right away i'm talking the second there's the line that says um every one of these ships is equipped with a a star killer gun or whatever my brain goes and there's one connected weakness that can destroy all of them yeah there's going to be a single point so this

is gonna be really nitpicky this is gonna be really really nitpicky so apologies because star wars is a star is a science fantasy series right yep it's got magic it's you know it's but when those ships come out of the water and they say the fleet and the fleet of star destroyers which are multiple kilometer long ships reaches all the way to the horizon all i could think of is fucking calm on like okay and they and they were like and they were all there must be in that last scene outside of the camera's view there must be a million people or more in those ships and so they were all being built under the ocean of this unreachable planet you're hoping for a reveal of a cotor star factory no that allows replication of these types that they'd say the

fleet and there'd be like 10 ships dude honestly i'm like in that moment where you're like oh like i'm so in that moment where remember the movie was fucking booking it right it was blitzing the pacing at you can't get to new scenes fast enough it shot that shit at you so fast that it's like okay you know what whatever he was planning in the skirts all the time and he was in the unzone and in the unzone right the limits of the galaxy he was going to other un places and getting people woolly he was gathering people not from the known galaxy like who knows woolly mystery secret sith mystery no no because it's a problem because the first or like they establish the first order is one order of the former imperial legion that stuck stuck around the real diehards right

their recruitment is no longer clones it's not even recruits it's stolen orphans that's how they recruit new storm troopers correct this means and they have you know old imperial shit so they got star killer base which by the way the fucking game fallen order establishes that that was being worked on for decades prior to the original series what the for the fall the star killer base oh okay one of the levels in that game is star killer base yeah um but before it works sure um but it's like okay this is the resources that the first order has right the emperor on this shadow planet we've been pulling people in and using Jedi mind tricks to make everyone forget about the lost people the jet the fucking secret planet has had millions of people working we made all ridiculous

everyone forget about all those people the empire at its height in the original trilogy had to haul ass for years to make half of one death star i am so able like it's i'm so able to put the numbers logistics out of my brain because of whatever handway explanation we might i would be able to do that under any circumstance other than the every every light in the sky is our enemy here's here's what i'm trying to say it is so let me phrase it a different way the ship stretch to the horizon man let me phrase it a different way those problems are dumb in an off-camera way yeah and there are so many on camera problems yeah you're right let's get back to it let's get back to it okay force lightning be a single person's use of the force no matter how ridiculous becoming

so strong as to affect planet wide change now wait hold on now hold on hold on hold on hold on all right so uh one the force itself yeah right how strong is ray pretty strong no one's ever pulled a ship out of the sky yeah that's new right no one's ever people are floating and flying and while running in in the holding up big stuff in clone wars and rebels and shit all the time but no one's ever stopped floated like the way she's floating right i don't think so um she's pretty strong she's up there and then you you you there's a hole so we've we've once again a lot of force juice is just genetic it's just your family i feel like i feel like um when you're seeing you're seeing uh the craziest shit possible is yoda in the prequels like fucking float flopping off the

walls yeah wow going wild and shit and then they did want to tone it down but they so the lightsabers toned down but the force juice got cranked way up to a point where you're kind of like well if you're gonna do this i've seen other star wars with this force juice being this aggressive uh mace windew versus the robots and clone wars is the one so then you just kind of wonder why not do this all the time why aren't we lightsaber fighting why aren't we why aren't you always like this right what is that because and it's like well to some degree thinking too hard about the force right is also pointless because they're supposed to just be um it's supposed to be about the characters and their and their ideologies being represented through physical magic right yeah except it's also

family it's also genetic and it's also or it's it's and it's also a plot it's bestowed and it's but it's also it's also like what causes you to accidentally zap the thing and blow up chui who you can then not detect his presence even though you can detect his presence in space in one scene later you're like chui no but then later on you know he's on the ship which is much further away and much larger than the distance you were on on the planet second in the moment that the ship blows up and it falls down and they go oh no we lost him and we lost the dagger what do we do yeah why not search the wreckage that fell down on the ground well because there are bad guys coming okay there are bad guys coming um you know it's a massive fucking plot hole dude

like literally also ray the reason why people don't like ray is because ray gets to do everything for free right everything that everybody else had to earn or at least get fucked up during ray gets for free okay so now we're jumping to another point that i was gonna say i accepted that for one reason i'm i'm gonna get i'm gonna get to the chewy thing i'm gonna circle back to this okay her fucking up and killing chewy and it's like there's a really good moment where fin's like it's not your fault and she's like it's totally my fault yeah it is it's totally your fault okay fine she finally horribly fucked up luke went also truly unceremoniously blows up in a ship that falls but but like luke went to the planet too early and got his hand cut off anakin did all

sorts of stupid shit got turned into a robot fine ray finally made a horrible fucking mistake and has to now wait now to the chewies fine never mind fuck man that sucks and and if they and there's a thing right you kind of felt it was wrong in the sense that it was so unceremonious right but it could have been filmed in a way where you see chewy and he's and then it's like oh no it's so much more tragic because of how it was shot right if they wanted to have that moment matter but yes a reflection moment of things going bad turned wrong also she gets a double skate pass because uh kylo's like yeah i made you do that it was me i i twisted you that's i showed up i flew all the way up to you to make you go uh palpatine it was me okay so um that

idea of her being op has been from the get go everybody's going wow she's fucking op right there was something i held on to as a like believable reason why she was op because of the explanation that the force is balanced yeah and that the less jet eyes there are they juice up the more juice you get sure fine sif are doing things like getting rid of each other specifically for that exactly for the juice ups yeah every time i kill you we all get the right the the fucking rule of two and all that shit exactly right so the idea of the juice up and including the line itself which is thousands of jet i live within the whole sith live inside me yada yada right that makes me go well that's why she's so fucking juiced right so i expected that to then but that's

not the reason the reason is she's palpatine's grandkid and i and i expected that i expected that the the the idea that like everything is riding on the one user of the force that is actually not just force adept but like like properly trained or not properly trained but like because like i mean like uh finn is force adept yeah um um leah right but first jet i was seen in a while but she's a jet eye so you're thinking okay she's got all of that big number the galaxy's number is no longer divided across all of them it's got the one got one big number and one big number she's the only funnel therefore the ridiculous is expected but then that doesn't actually end up being the case furthermore when she's standing there and it's like it doesn't

amount to much besides a couple of voices and her standing with the two lightsabers you're like i thought the idea of the thousands would be represented in another way but it wasn't the the bit okay so we we established a couple things one yeah palpatine could have totally turned luke into dust in that fight and got blindsided by vader because the lightning shit he's got is out of control right to mace window really smart that hold the lightsaber up in front of force lightning shit wow that's effective as fuck if only mace had carried two lightsabers why didn't he stop shooting lightning out she said she wasn't gonna kill him yeah so then she blocks his lightning and then he kills himself yeah so palpatine um why didn't he just

stop palpatine is smart enough to foresee the future create clones build six shit zillion ships etc not smart enough to stop shooting force lightning after it already horribly mangled him a few decades earlier same situation same exact situation but this time it worked because the spirits of lucan because nothing because nothing so that's that's what i'm saying right it's like what are you what is your his thing is hey guess what i want you to kill me because then you get to be the evil because you're doing it out of the wrong reasons and i'll inhabit your body or something and then it's like okay well the solution can't be to not kill him or can it i don't know where are you going with this and then it turns out the solution is that

was a lie or he's just i actually wanted you here so i could use uh energy uh no death siphon on you from cotor yeah yeah yeah uh you're you're we got to see cotor powers in this movie yeah we got force healing we got death the deathfield um deathfield that's it deathfield now those two things in particular i bet you that the deathfield was actually uh option select oh i think he was like if she doesn't listen then i could suck the force juice out and because they're twins the or under twins it's the super juice yeah right um yeah no it really did make a weird moment of like so what was your plan here my i had 10 plans i was gonna win no matter what but what was Ray's plan i'm gonna show up but i can't kill him i hope he's dumb enough to kill himself

i'm gonna stop him i'm not i'm gonna show him that i'm not him how by killing him all right let's back it up no what when you're talking about breakneck fucking snap my head back pace editing and in storytelling okay so if you're listening to the spoiler cast and but haven't seen the movie because you don't care i can i can show you something that emulates the speed of editing and that is the spider man cartoon show the spider that clip got deleted by the way fuck but i someone mirrored it but you have to go find it it's not a clear mirror you have to search specifically for um spider man cartoon uh carnage venom i think scene it's not this the video originally where i was like this pacing of this move of this cartoon was fucking crazy yeah but 80 things happens

in three minutes yeah right so i've never seen a movie edited like this it is wild how little time jj abrian's had to set up what was basically again its own trilogy because they had to undo everything that ryan what johnson tried to do um and for all it's like good or bad whatever it is right he maybe he like they didn't want a running time going over what disney movie wants a running time to be it can't be over two hours or something so there was a tall order there was a tall order here they filmed all those transitory shots and then they cut them the fuck out i feel it but everything in that fucking first half the first half is crazy like i i it is the i've never seen blatant fetch quest to the fetch quest like threading we got to get to the dagger

no no we have to get to the thing the planet that that has that has the the planet of the planet of that'll unlock c3po's memories the planet celebrating in the way that uh india does with the colored smoke yeah and and then you're like on this planet what are we doing and then on the planet then we'll maybe find this this key but we're looking for the it the dagger will lead to the other planet the films plotting of event to event planet to planet is more straightforward and less nuanced than actual knights of the old republic which is a video game land on the planet fall through the sand find the dagger lucky huh take the dagger get the dagger instructions convoluted side then we get the location go to the location hold the dagger up to the geography

of the crashed ship wow that that's it assassin really had a lot built into that dagger huh who made this dagger jj ebrams when before the movie what's sith talker what's person speaking sith in the fall of the star uh the the fucking death star he's just a sith fanboy man and happened to stand on the x yeah of the cliff side from that angle in pretend the dagger hey hey he uses the force an explanation that has become less convincing every time they do it to the point where the movie or even made fun of it back in force awakens remember when finn goes uh we don't have a plan but we'll use the force and how it's all it goes that's not how the force works yeah yeah it is according to the later movies yeah yeah literally just force will figure it out for you shut up

um it's all destined man like and then turning the dagger into this the any the locator he pulls it's so fucking contrived that dagger everything about that dagger is the worst is the absolute worst it's the entire first half of the movie it's everything they have to do yeah um so fetch to the fetch to the fetch okay um yeah uh uh then you get then you get uh uh the the um uh what was zori bliss right helmet girl oh the one that people thought was gonna be mara jade helmet girl yeah and you're like helmet girl okay this is okay you're cool what's up your new new new new boba fat rules right how we're gonna try for the third time to bring in a masked unknown character who's gonna like give you the boba fat mystery and hope that it takes off right phasma kind of set up

didn't really go places no worries here's another one here's another one okay so zori is uh established as god damn it fuck you and you're like all right and because one scene over because we don't have the second movie one scene over yeah can we make out no but here's the most valuable item i could possibly ever own in my life that i've spent god knows how long acquiring a magic coin that gets me onto not just a forced order ship a final order ship it's like 10 minutes later it's it's it's like it's like what from fuck you die to hear's everything i i like the funny look that he gives her at the end yeah that was really good he goes on she's like no you're like all right that's funny but her character showing up and having no time to get and then she's there

at the end she's like i finally showed up and i'm like who are you again like like the everything that is not her introduction and her handing him the coin is been removed and that's all she can possibly do you know so oh man i just saw a thought from the chat that we'll get into later okay so at the end which is she exists to make po look less gay which we'll get into that later there's not much to get into yeah it's pretty straightforward people who are like oh is the pose got a big bro man's going on with fin is there anything going on there and disney goes no and then and then the actor go yeah we want to fuck butts but and rose like nah and he's like y'all wear your jacket bro and then rose is like yo let's make out and he's

like no no way friend and then it's like hey po you're general right yeah you want to be my co-general bro yeah but no no cut that part out try hug i have never seen a movie so effortlessly create a hardcore super intense gay romance and then go nah man this is what causes fan fiction this is what causes fan fiction to happen you see the thing about it though is that there's always plausible deniability because it's it's never ever i think it's set up i think it's all in your brain man i think it's super pathetic that there were articles getting written that it was hey rise skywalker it's gonna have the first gay kiss in star wars and it's a fucking they cut in the ending montage to two chicks kissing and then they cut away i'm like that's gonna get cut out of

international oh you mean oh you mean the one where the kiss is happening in the center frame where you can edit in a big cg child no you just cut the bit because they cut to it and then cut away oh oh i was thinking of a big cg uh alien holding a chinese flag so yeah okay so you do that then when you have a big cg blocking then when you have the actors in the movie on the fucking tour trying to promote it going yeah we kept trying to make it so that our characters could fuck butts because we have this really intense roam like bromance going on and disney kept going no you can't change the running time man keep the running time the same it's just put in pathetic a big old just drool coming out of its mouth and weird googly eyes it's never been more obvious

that this kind of shit is pandering because you accidentally created one that wouldn't have been pandering to anybody and everybody would have gone great and you and you said no not that one you got shook we want the one we can cut out it's fucked up hey ray i got something to tell you what nothing nothing it wasn't going to be that i love you which uh boy i just went on twitter today and was like he was not going to tell ray he loved her also um what he was going to do is simply say something like that to make sure you think that uh it's not about fin pro finpo no finpo because i said that line and we got i did the not the head so we have these small small gestures just to go hey guys there's there's a fucking i mean i rl lma yeah be mad but there's a there's

a joke that mike makes that uhura in star trek exists to show that spock and kirk have the not gays and it's happening again it's like there are moments being added to make the the two characters that are obviously gay for each other less gay and it's like come on honestly honestly at the end of the day at the end of the day it could have just been like they could have just not had those lines they could have just they could have just not went went anywhere and left it as is right but like the moment where you do have that like extremely editable kiss it's it's it's fucking is so like oh you but you want to say this and jj probably fought yeah probably for that probably everyone in the production fought and that was the best they were going to get from a

bunch of people that wanted to make sure that they're like a national like money no way fucked with maybe anyway woolly if they had kissed if finnan poet kissed that would set up a gay black jedi in the future and china's not gonna deal that's your new hero for the next movie is a gay black jedi that's not gonna happen it's not gonna happen what could have been what could have been you're saying that the character that was edited out of one of the posters yaw would have had a confrontational moment that could not be removed that could not be cut around i feel bad for daisy ridley because this this part isn't her fault but like boyega kills it and is just so charming and all i can think about the whole movie is like fuck i which

fin was the main character look they end on a try hug and they end and things are done in such a way where all they want is implication they don't want to follow through on threats because everything needs to have its plausible deniability everything needs to be enough open-ended so that you don't have to worry about it right with the exception of rose who she tried and she got fucking booted but hey she like you people are saying it's the jar jar treatment but i disagree because like like she showed up and actually had lines yeah and did things jar jars she's not responsible for the death of billions like jar jar is like you actually see her running on the final in the final battle and and whatever you know um anyway okay so i had a random small one where i was like

but remember when we talked about the bowcaster yeah remember when we talked about why chewie uses the bowcaster yeah because it's fucking huge and why other people don't because they're not fucking huge okay so what happened they used it and there was no problem so then why are shut the fuck up why are both castors which are the strongest and biggest shooting laser things which actually gets established like it shoots down people in one like easy it's so much better than every other blaster ray has no problem using it on her way running back she's using the force holding all of chewie she's using the force okay got it got it okay um you know what so star wars isn't cool with with gay black jedis but you know what it is cool implied incest

uh or literal or literal depending back back in the day it was literal uh but now it's implied incest so uh kylo and ray have their uh their their their their love death kiss right um which a woman in my theater when they kissed screamed like like with glee like finally you know that kind of thing and then uh kylo fucking fades away in a bit so funny that my theater burst out laughing because it looked like shit it looked like a joke but here's the deal right you know how anakin's an immaculate birth you know how palpatine starts going on about how yeah sith could even create life yeah remember how that was like a little baby theory yeah yeah well when you get to this movie and you see palpatine making clones like it's no big deal yeah

you're like okay so anakin was manufactured so anakin is i i i didn't even think about that because i assumed he just midichlorian sitting sure but anakin is manufactured from palpatine force powers or he used the force to take a little teaspoon of jizz right and go whoop sure all right guess what that makes darth vader palpatine's son that makes leah palpatine's granddaughter adoptive no it's not he's not it's not from his own if it's the force then it's the force wait let's do that's too much of a stretch whatever that's too much of a stretch the point is this is a big fucking creepy family squabble and then they kiss at the end these are these are two these are two very close families but they're not the same like we can that's a stretch i mean

nothing's super here's what i will say there's nothing super explicit so we can argue but it's too close it's way too close i i don't i don't i don't follow that that at all but what i will say about this is remember how we were just talking about how ambiguous everything is yeah the one thing that should have been ambiguous was actually chosen to be a full-on fucking tongue tonguey makeout sesh when i'm like that moment where they're like that i'm like because of the connection they shared that should have been the forehead touch yeah that should have been the we've been through so much we've been inside each other's heads and it should be implicit right and we get that and you now brought me back yeah but you still blew up a couple of planets

and murdered all my friends though so it's not like i love you or anything babaka remember that first scene where the first scene call those in in the series in which he orders a bunch of storm troopers to just murder a bunch of people for no reason or the one after the one that makes fin freak out and yes yeah that's still the same guy or the one that fucking again cracks the planet or the other one that cracked the other planet so and you go like okay no no no i know he's having his little doubts and all that stuff and that's that would have been the perfect moment the perfect moment because we're talking about fucking sasuke just now i was i was talking about kyle yeah we were so and and and you're just like that would have been where you do the um like the the the

fucking end of pacific rim hug yeah you know what i mean it's one of those like okay look it doesn't always have to be that i was really looking for i was literally looking for the fucking the head just yeah don't kiss him that's not where we're at with this no no no no and then they go what am i thinking of where the two heads slide together and then the tongues just oh i don't know but i know there's a high clone high right uh i can see something else jfk and and and uh cleopatra leaning forward going and their tongues go so you're like fuck off everything else is ambiguous when it doesn't need to be except for that part and the worst thing that you should have made ambiguous you go in fucking heavy you know what would have been better fuck it i'm gonna

i'm just gonna start changing shit in the plot palpatine comes back guess what that sucks right away immediately right away immediately you know what and then you turn and palpatine's like just hooked up to a fucking thing and it looks exactly the same that sucks you know what would have made that even one percent better and it's it's really stupid yeah it's dumber than anything in the movie and i genuinely think it would have improved it if the cloak fell off during the scuffle and it's like he's just a head with like a one arm like you remember okay you remember the robocop scene robocop scene you remember the robocop scene where they pull apart and body horror and he's two lungs one arm and a head yeah palpatine's fucked right and it's all bullshit and he's like

really really and like well i mean the whole literally how did he survive shut up there's no time is one of the fucking like he died harder than anyone ever there's blue fucking energies it shoots out of the out of the explosion you know before everything blows up by the way yeah but it's like not shut up there's no time okay fine he's i liked the hooked up to the wire look the glados shit i like because it's glados and it's megatron and beast machines yeah i liked it right up until they pulled out and showed that it well goes up like a thousand feet i also like the random cultists they're not sith but they're worshipers yeah the cultists the cultists that that was cool whatever i thought they were gonna reveal themselves to be clones i also thought that

but it didn't go that place they weren't whatever um and and and uh uh man that robocop kiss here's another reason why the kiss sucks let's hear it because it turns those moments we were talking about with the gray into extra now was never even remotely about that it was romantic it was all romantic they're reaching out to each other and the staring and the longing and the fighting and the arguing and the swallow it was all just she saw ben swallow it was just fucking uh uh ben swallow to get swallow in her holo it was puberty loins thank you getting all heated up thank you you did it yeah yeah it was puberty loins crotch fruit yeah that's all they wanted and that's why jedi are not supposed to love you know and you're just like uh you you fucking white

hey wouldn't have been interesting to find out uh when palpatine decided he was gonna get him some ass and how he went about the character that can create life at will that had a family had a family a family of non-force users or they rejected him whatever well i think it's been established that no it's gonna happen if you got the juice yeah you're like you would go to get stabbed and then entered like and whether it was a son punk bitch just stabbed palpatine's kids whether it was his son or his daughter they didn't specify cares doesn't it was like nah he killed them though because the throne would have been made for them but i guess it wasn't no it's made for you whatever no it wasn't it was made for me if you don't want it but what hey ray do you think maybe the throne

if you want it okay um um what did leah do die that's passive what did she actively do nothing oh she um she sent out a force to to her kid and said hey kid remember that i exist and died and that was everything yeah he remembered that his mom existed and to the people who were like nah man she conjured han solo that's that is so explicitly not how that works so and he shows up after leah dies so if if she were to actually die out in space yeah in the movie before this one yeah what would have changed nothing so here's here's how this happened this is this is my assumption leah was supposed to be the person to talk him down but kerry fisher died she was going to do the luke no she was still projecting no she was gonna be she was gonna ask for a project

and uh after the fight and be like ben come on but kerry fisher died and it had to be one of his parents so they brought harrison ford back in and do it instead because again okay probably i can believe because the fact that han fails to talk him down the first time yeah shows that han couldn't do it khan couldn't do it so it had it should have been like yeah but what are you fucking supposed to do yeah it's supposed to cg in young leah yeah in a training fight that looks like god damn shit wearing all white end of row one i already had cg leah hey here's part of leah's motivation that makes no fucking sense at all you ready all right i'm training i'm becoming a jedi she gets pretty good at it i see a vision that at the end of my jedi training he's gonna die

though will my will be the death of my son i want to stop okay who does she tell that to look right you mean the guy who had a vision that told him to kill her son after the end of her jedi training doesn't make any fucking sense they he could have just they could have just talked what he could have just said it she had the vision of the thing that he was gonna already fucking thinking the thinking the thing to do so fucking stupid but he already hit the thing oh no oh that's oh no that's fucking stupid good catch right good catch dude and also it's like she's here's the thing she was characters have visions in star wars all the time right i think it has universally failed for everyone but they all tried to do something leah's solution

to her seeing a vision was no i'm gonna quit but i'm gonna lead i'm gonna lead but i'm gonna i'm gonna not empower myself all right why why do i not about because i saw the death of a loved one and i want to change it all right ray you're you're seeing visions of yourself becoming the emperor what should you do to deal with it continue training up and being a jedi no action it's the total opposite but then she goes to the island and says fuck this yeah and then luke says no don't fuck this yeah it's the total opposite solution by outside influence yeah also i think it's fucking dumb that luke skywalker man who's like my lightsaber i don't give a shit when she's about to do the same fucking thing go add a change of heart and that's the most interesting part

of the movie because luke's lines right there are fucking spitting poison at ryan johnson because luke straight up goes i was wrong in the last movie i was completely wrong the jedi are important it's not time for the jedi to end the jedi have to be forever for the toys so so like the entire it's crazy and now that line he said about um where jj jj in the interview said him making a story that was meta where he says nothing matters things don't matter yeah right is ball z yeah but necessary to do what we did which is just protect control z all of it and here's the thing it's wild i don't hate the idea of saying fuck the jedi i don't i thought it's the best part of like i don't hate that at all i mean we're just talking mad shit about last jedi

because that movie sucks but that idea is fine i've never been totally fine in the entire trilogy and then prequel trilogy i never once would have thought that the main line movies would even think about the idea of the jedi not be being up their own ass well the i've brought this up twice before and i'm sorry to bring it up again but it's so appropriate in cotor two you talk to a guy who describes the war that happened in cotor one and he describes it as the jedi civil war and you go no it wasn't it was between the sith and the jedi yeah and he goes what sit whatever i don't care no one cares the crazy religious assholes they're all just crazy religious people with with powers and laser swords who the fuck what does it fucking matter

yeah right yeah yeah like that is a great thing in star wars because it's like to normal people that's everybody everything that happens in this shit is so stupid and and and yeah philosophical and dumb yeah yeah yeah yeah and the idea that the main movies would go yeah you know what yeah this dogmatic opposition of hyper good and hyper evil might not be the best thing yeah great fine but then they they cowered out you know that guy just pulled out a lightsaber and chopped a baby's head off with it are you a sith no i'm a dark jedi what what but isn't that no no it's not no no okay i thought we're in a we're in a place right now where all the cool shit in star wars is the stuff that has the least oversight um the game the other game the other game the mandalorian

clone wars i heard the mandalorian still going strong i i'm looking forward to uh continuing to watch it the farther you can get it away from like uh producers eyes the better it is so the thing where it's like oh look it's the single point satellite fuck the falling through the sand by the way yeah that's terrible end of story how lucky end of story stupid right usually i'd give it a pass everyone dies and that's how the we had to go forward yawn had to bite the floor absolutely i'm what fortuitousness that i brought that exact example up earlier i i held onto it oh yeah you were like oh wow that's actually totally the same thing had to bite the floor so you'd fall through and find your way forward into the plot whatever of course oh man you're making me really

hate this movie i'm liking it of course there's a single point at which all of these planet crackers are gonna fucking be uh tethered to one weakness because they can't navigate themselves yeah so even though everyone else was able to navigate there i wanted after they got led by one person drill down on this and it's a bigger problem than star wars and that is if you make your threat too big the threat stops being scary i was i'm going my that's my question to you now my question to you is so as established the moment you see a planet blow up by one of these star destroyers you go that's just impossibly mag like like the magnitude of the how threatening this is yeah means you can't fix it therefore this is going to be yeah so let's when's the last time you can think of a threat that

was on that scale where it was so unbelievably busted that you're just like this is not going to be real i i can't even think of one off the top of my head it's because this is the craziest i've ever seen uh let you know what let's tone it down uh let's you played re5 complete global saturation wesker's not gonna blow up a town or a country he's gonna destroy the entire world the instant he says he's gonna turn the entire world into a goo farm you're like well okay well now stakes are gone because we're gonna shoot him and he's gonna die if you if you make your threat too big spider man too spider man too doc ock Mary jane will die and some of the new york harbor okay i'm threatened that could happen but no no no this bomb will destroy everything

this bomb will destroy it didn't have to the universe it didn't have to yeah but yet we had to go there so like let's and you know and i didn't even want to like you don't have to grab any you don't have to go anywhere into mcu for this but it's almost like the thought is almost like getting that gauntlet on is actually that level where you're like no he can't actually get it yeah because if he don't oh oh fuck now imagine imagine if in avengers it wasn't i'll snap my finger in half of all life will be destroyed it's the universe will end once that becomes established you're like well it literally can't happen or else there'd be no more movie yeah right his motivation happened to be he wanted to half it right but like let's take star wars as a good

example of star wars in the first movie the threat is established that even though there's a galactic empire blowing up planets is infeasible so you make a thing that blows up a planet it in a galaxy galaxies are big guys they're really big they've trillions of stars right yep but blowing up a planet that's crazy that's a game changer you can fuck people up that'd be problem for the future it's conceivable that they would fail to blow up the thing because the story doesn't end if the death star sticks around right empire doesn't have something like that uh death star comes back in the third one we're like that's a little tired but okay fine they're able to rebuild these that means the emperor has to go right fine star killer base we're edging up against a problem

right now we have a death star that blows up solar systems that's a big deal but you know what no one talks about it eats suns to do that yeah why do you even need to shoot it yeah just put it next to the star yeah yeah yeah now you're reminding me of the other thing I almost forgot right not like the level of casualness that they throw that out with right and here's the problem now when you're going all of this battalion has to now this entire fleet of of literal fucking infinity death yeah um needs this one point and this one point is the only weakness it has right we built a fucking movie rogue one around getting those plans out to blow up the little baby one because of how much of a threat that thing was in scale at the time and there we fly down and

thin goes maybe if we shoot them in the cannons like that worked for the death star it just fucking what right and luke had to go the force is helping me navigate to get the right shot into the right thing in a new hope so even then they had to rely on the magic bullshit I would like to but this the scale is so much infinite tons higher I would like to explain and the solution is so less so much less nuanced I would like to give you a piece of star wars trivia I might get a few details wrong but I can give you the gist of it droids become sentient over time in star wars you just wipe them right it's fucked up to do but you just wipe them they're good right that's why c3p on our 2d2 have such great personalities where'd that come from oh some fucking bullshit over over time yeah over

time not right away no not right away they became more so you wipe okay right but uh some robots since they're not important you just don't wipe them ever fuck it who cares there is an imperial droid in the death star that is responsible for shielding exhaust ports that gains sentience at some point after the death star is built and on the attack on the death star it discuss it it discovers that if the death star doesn't get destroyed that it will mean cataclysmic things for the universe and in an act of grand sacrifice does not shield the exhaust port that leads to the core thus allowing luke to get his torpedoes in it I hate blow it up and I hate the a you I love the a you I hate the a you you you fuck off

are you kidding me I am so serious that is now that's probably worse stupid that's probably been decanonized at this point oh but that was put into a technical manual at some point fuck off you have to like why do I have to read that why do I have to read that right like on one hand and on the other hand someone posts a comic of that one clone that almost became Darth Vader's friends and how fucked up that is and how cool that comic was yeah what a good read yeah right there's a comic of just like yo this one uh uh clone trooper who hung out with Darth Vader a lot accidentally got left behind and had a whole life and then ended up almost being Darth Vader's friend and then had a disagree in and there's a whole story of like yeah that's interesting shit and

you're telling me some stupid fucking thing had a change of heart at the same time that luke needed the force to guide his missile and that's why the confluence of events was perfect yeah that's fuck off hey hey it was the force listen made that droid sense you hey hey hey remember the knights of wren i do remember when they were cool no remember when they were a bunch of guys in suits hanging around wearing armor and you're like all those guys look badass everything about the knights of wren is hilarious and then they show up more times and then you see them standing on a rock looking around and i'm just all i could think about is a bunch of dudes in that suit on a rock when it's hot and the camera dolly just spinning around the rock fucking of them looking

around where are they we don't want one of the first promo shots ever for first awakens was the knights of wren standing around looking fucking dope and being like this is going to be a new enemy force that hangs out with kylo and one of them had a mando helmet and you know what they did they pointed out hey we hired a bunch of the actors and martial artists that were out of indonesia that worked on the raid yeah they worked on all these movies they're the knights of wren get ready yep and then they teased them for the first movie and like oh man it's gonna be fucking crazy when the knights of wren go go ham on the next movie and then rean johnson was like i don't care about the knights of wren i don't have a shit and then in this movie they're like well fucking shit bring

them back bring them back so now they're walking around corners but now they don't have anyone to fucking fight so all they're doing is walking around going is the knights of wren here we come they round the corner they look around they peek left as soon as uh ray runs right you know and they're doing scooby-doos they're scooby doing they don't have anyone to fight and you fucking watch them like and also are they not the also the the the order that ben took with him when he left yes so he fucking had these pseudo jet eyes right the only ones without lightsabers yeah because uh haze is all busted because he fucking he's not building it yeah but and they just went all right whatever they're supposed to be jedi level they were jedi students and they

the squad of jedi and then and then he punks them in like a month does nothing yeah the whole time ladies that you see the scene where chewy like walks out and there's one standing there and then it cuts back and it's not them it's just a stormtrooper arresting him yeah like what the fuck are the knights of wren doing these are the these are also pseudo jedi being cut from the movie probably and then they show up at the end and swing their fucking weapons around and get ice and then just nothing oh absolutely nothing yo this movie you know what i came in here being middling yo this movie sucks this movie fucking sucks dude like the more i talk about it the more things i'm like man i had to start with the list of the good yeah because the list of the bad

see three p.o super good in this movie and here's the final thing ultimately right is like from reading and and checking it out there there's a lot of people out there that were like i enjoyed it i had fun and it's like yeah i i i can see the part where you just don't think too hard about that stuff yeah and go who cares well that's how i was when i walked out of theater the really crazy stuff stuck out but i didn't have some you know i talked to page about it but like she didn't write down a bunch of fucking notes i'm sorry i took i had to write them down because i'm glad you fucking did bad at pulling them out in the moment yeah well no good because we got to a lot of stupid shit i'll tell you what though this movie is totally worth it in is it yes because in conclusion

there's one takeaway from this movie that makes it all worth it i have one takeaway personally i would actually like to hear yours first if that's okay my takeaway is this is what happens when you don't plan a trilogy together yeah that's really funny because disney handled marvel this marvel handled marvel and then this is what happens when you want to leave enough room to wiggle out of a bad decision yeah and you get scared every time so you don't write something together or entrust it together you write each one individually hoping to build off the last one and add and land at a conclusion yeah they were like well to work out fine because this is how the this is how the original trilogy was made all different directors and a good and a good enough they're on a good

enough team of writers and directors can build something good off of what we already got you have to plan if you don't plan you're going to fail now guess what you know who you if you want to pin the blame on any one person you can actually now a lot of people would like to put that on rian johnson if we're going crazy and doing a weird movie i'm not going to put it on him i'm going to shift it over to jj because this happened because when they approached jj to direct all the movies he said i can't do it i can't handle it i only want to do the first one you you'll have to give it to somebody else for the second and the third one and so i'll just i'll just you know sprinkle some ideas and then he left he totally could have directed all three movies and

if he did i bet it would have been fine yeah but he didn't because it's not the promises of the unknown within the force awakens were all prompt were all good enough their threads that were interesting enough they all could have gone that they could have gone places and we had this entire swap fake out movie once between oh my god somebody pointed out and they're right jj is just a cursed series of letters in star wars isn't it jar jar ruin the galactic republic and jj i guess i mean but here's the but and like the when ryan swerved right if jj decided to um you know what they say i'm like black ice or whatever like like uh turn into it yeah turn into it right don't fishtail if he turned into it it would have been fine we could have went somewhere but he didn't want to

no and i bet disney didn't want to either perhaps because of the anger which i get yeah but it still is like the the the the the uh tired luke fuck the jedi right sure again sure is totally a way to go and i'm not i'm not against it but you've then go now i never mind well now it now that movie like as you have and you never mind it so you never mind the new shit so hard that you go back to palpatine and shove him into the first second of the last movie actually before the first second again palpatine shows up before the start of the movie in fortnight like they rewound they turned against it so hard with no they they course corrected into a lake unbelievable unbelievable so my takeaway is that it was all worth it however it's all good don't worry about it

because in the visual guide to episode nine art book that got released there is the name of a bunch of orders of stormtroopers and i believe it is the third order is the revin stormtrooper which means revin has been recanonized yep which means we could potentially see somebody do a decent nights of the old republic movie and that would get you know what's funny about space operas if you fuck it up too bad you can just jump to a different galaxy or far enough into the future or into the past and we can call it nights of the old republic and drameda and or the mandalorian or the or the mandalorian and you can just do the revan shit and nail it and on the downside i don't want them to ever touch revan because revan's awesome revans the

coolest remember when remember when there was a plan to recreate the bubble fed effect yes and it didn't work and then it didn't work again and then the thing that people actually did latch on to was a fucking random storm stormtrooper who pulled out a baton and goes traitor oh you saw that thread i saw a thread on our subreddit was like remember when they pimped out captain phasma for months and then this like 10 second shot in a trailer that's all generic stormtrooper i remember trey tor trey tor tr8 to tr or whatever somebody in that thread pointed out that that dude should have survived that fight and become finn's actual antagonist because it would have been perfect they made a toy they made a toy uh where they gave you his real name which whoever fuck it

who cares it's trey tor it's not oh it's not no the toy has a completely different designation the stormtrooper designation but we we wanted tr8 r right you know but yeah man that thing is perfectly emblematic right it's totally not at all what they saw come in but everyone latched on to it and the phasma push didn't work and i love brian of tarth did you see the uh the deleted scene from last jedi no the scene that is unbelievable that it was deleted what so you know how a thing falls on her in the in the movie and she just dies or she falls in a pit yeah she falls in a pit in his lame you see her eye for a second and she falls in a pit right and it's the lame of shit ever sure so in the original cut of the movie she's not falling a pit but instead

when fin is talking to her he's like hey bitch you may be all like i'm the fucking first order badass but when i fucking threatened you with a gun you fucking turned off the shields it's dark killer base because you're a fucking bitch traitor loser hypocrite wait doesn't he he talks shit to her yeah he does in the movie yeah yeah and then she goes well who would believe that and then the stormtroopers around her go uh and then they move to do something and then she kills all of them and then fucking fin takes time of the confusion to run for a gun at which point she disables him and she goes you are always scum and he goes yeah rebel scum and then he fucking shoots her and then she dies and it's like fin gets to fucking like get one over on her because

she she like because she's a hypocrite she breaks yeah oh and it's like oh that's awesome that would have been so much better and it's so why was it cut it's not even like that would have been so much better like he actually breaks her on the argument of their stance go go look it up captain fazma's death deleted scene it's really good when you have the it even gets like the rebel scum thing when you have the opportunity to have an argument that is uh uh uh goes hand in hand with what's physically happening yeah and you can fucking put them together that's man go you're gonna watch this later and you're gonna look at it you're gonna get super pissed off that it wasn't in the movie that sucks and all I can think of is that got cut because they still wanted the chance to push her

in the next movie because she just fell in a pit fell in a pit because she's the she's the shiny stormtrooper with the cells toys we won't commit we won't commit we won't commit we need to make sure we can feel that out we got to feel the wave of where we people want to go where do people want to go they don't want solo all right no more solo keep it going where do we want to go they don't they never they refuse to commit because they were too fucking scared well also they're writing people are giving movies and they're like well you gotta leave it open enough for the next guy who's the next guy oh yeah like jesus christ star wars so the pressure is higher than ever it's almost but but I think the problem is because you know you have impossible expectations

right and you have impossible expectation fans that are like this needs to change my world yeah the way it did when it first came out yeah that can never happen yeah but I think the force awakens is the level that I was hoping for for all of them yeah if they all were exactly that level they would have been like ah I was too safe but I enjoyed this is a there's a fine-ass wrap-up of the story and one two three sucked but hey um this is this is I'll take this it's really interesting it's good because you have you have now three sets of movies and they all represent something totally different right yep you have the first series four five six bunch of directors uh bunch of writers uh like uh uh George Lucas's wife apparently

was responsible for nearly all of the editing decisions and fighting back on Lucas's dumb bullshit and be like no he's not gonna be a car salesman no Han Solo is gonna be hot etc but you had a bunch of people working on it and they could do whatever the fuck they wanted and it was a slap-dash bunch of shit but they had total creative freedom right and it was great now you get to Lucas and you get somebody who's bad at it and has a million percent creative freedom disaster right because his vision sucked now you get a slap-dash bunch of talented people but they have no freedom to do anything every word you write on the page you have the weight of the of Fred Cheiser standing over behind you and you go

every line that every character says you have to go how does this affect the franchise and how do you tell a story that way and Bobby Eager's there looking at right how do you plan a trilogy out in advance with a complete vision and have any any any fucking move any movement like we're talking about deliver your story we're talking about a series that when Star Wars came out it wasn't even a fucking trilogy the fucking first movie isn't called episode four a new hope it's just called fucking star wars yeah right like yeah so that's it that's it my take my my final takeaway is all right it's all done and this is a trilogy representing what happens when you don't plan together right when you when you stumble through and this is the same the same

for any show or series or comic or manga or whatever that we like where they just bumble their way to the finish line instead of actually writing out what you are going to do so uh the one piece guy I forget is it Oda maybe he's gone on record he's got all the big story beats that he wants to hit and he's got the ending of one piece in his head he's written it in his head and you know he'll go on little adventures and such and such and he wants to but he has a he has a goal at the end at the end of the road right this was a series made with literally no goal at all other than let's make some Star Wars movies so it sucks we spent we spent a lot of money let's make it back marvel they they did such a fucking grand undertaking with like all these different

fucking directors and all these people but they had to go oh we're gonna have a big fucking space thing with this character this character this is at the end of uh with Thanos and all that shit so everything's gotta build towards that look I'm telling you man it's gonna be a big slimy alien right in front of the lesbian couple yeah it's gonna be holding a china flag they're just gonna the eyes are gonna be drooping it's gonna be barfing and it's gonna be going and it's celebrating the rebel win and it's gonna be just just big enough well that you can barely see like one of their boots standing from behind him but it's got a goofy tail that's like slurbing spew all over I think that yeah I think that because we knew Palpatine was in it before

you sat down in the movie a lot of that disappointment was blunted but I gotta say in Star Wars and apologies for the quote gang who don't like him but the most depressing thing that I could think of was that Palpatine's behind it all ended up being like every plot in Star Wars every every single movie now is Palpatine's behind it all everything fucking depressing let's follow the Wesker timeline of what he was up to while he was up to it shall we yeah terrible let's go like like now his life is like the most fascinating nonsensical timeline in the world because the last thing I want to hear is like how are you gonna have a villain now because it's established that literally everything

bad that happened in nine movies was because of this one evil wizard are the Sith even real yeah but are they yeah prove it that's tough that's tough to do actually actually it is prove that the Sith are not just fucking Darth Sidious that's really tough actually because shit wow you're ruining Star Wars go um show me in the in the timeline we have right here well in the expanded universe yeah no no no I didn't say that I didn't say that show me in the timeline we have oh this sucks that there is any we know that there's that I this really sucks we know that there's multiple good people the sith will never return mace Windu says that that would show me that the sith even exist show me that it anything

that is any sign of it that it's not just been palpatine the whole time throughout all of history grabbing a couple of randos going hey you red guy hey old man your your lightsaber is crooked come hang out with me oh this is spiky head you want to hang out with me this oh this sucks everyone yeah you're right because they've established no new sith ever after palpatine who what's what's to say there were no new sith before palpatine hey robot you got a real heart yeah hold these lightsabers come work for me yeah that did happen that is real wow really all comes together when you point it out like that prove it I can't well then fuck let's end it there okay I hope you enjoyed the podcast everybody

Merry Christmas yeah Merry Christmas Happy Onica I'm the adder to the justice let's see if you chop another pack up all that stuff y'all bust a buckle in these numbers hey don't get fooled by the grave I don't care what nobody say stand in my way that's where you're late I don't play no you might get this one who you might get this one who you might get this one who you might get this one your ego's about to get more than your feelings hurt see I just want peace I just want peace and I know my heart's true I know my heart's fake I came back from the inside yeah now I know what I must do

so fight for the greater good fight to even out the score fight for my neighborhood fight to get my just rewards fight for the ones that lost but to get what's in store fight anyone I cross so what do you buy it for yeah oh I see you feeling this yeah that type of plot ain't good for the help come on as you wish it didn't have to go down like this I'm done talking you didn't listen I'll say it out of with my I'm the adder to the justice let's see if you chop another pack up all that stuff y'all bust a

buckle in these numbers hey don't get fooled by the grave I don't care what nobody say stand in my way that's where you're late I don't play no you might get this one who you might get this one who you might get this one who you might get this one your ego's about to get both of your feelings see I just want peace I just want peace and I know my heart's true I know my heart's fake I came back from the inside yeah now I know what I must do fight for the greater good fight fight to even out the score fight fight for my neighborhood fight fight fight for the greater good fight to even out the score fight for my neighborhood

fight to get my just rewards fight for the ones that lost fight to get what's in store fight anyone across so what do you find it for yeah oh I'm feeling it that type of pride ain't good for your health come on