Castle Super Beast - CSB 050: Dog Names MUST be Blue Collar

Episode Date: January 9, 2020

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps The Mandolorian, Celeste, Indivisible and the intricacies of cannabalism. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Super Street Fighter 4 AE_ Seth Theme Go to http://bombas.com/superbeast today and get 20% off your first purchase. PlatinumGames has just announced a partnership with Tencent The long lost AKIRA prototype for Sega Mega Drive has been found and released #BLUD Gameplay Trailer Christian Bale in Talks to Join ‘Thor: Love and Thunder’ Elden Ring will be at Taipei Game Show (Feb 6-9th) Mother 4 fan-game resurfaces and rebrands as Oddity Alienware Is Definitely Not Ripping Off The Nintendo Switch Devil May Cry 3 for Switch will feature 'something extra' Exit the Gungeon coming to consoles, PC in early 2020

minute break I'm looking at Twitter and I just saw a video of like Some lady like making cereal on her collarbone. That's weird People are getting creepy Dude, that's like That's a that's a scroll past on reddit. You don't even let it load Yeah, tell me what I let see load in Internet have you seen dogs with jobs

No, but I am in about 10 seconds cuz like you fuck you. I'll tell you what you see You load up dogs with jobs and you scroll through it and you watch some of those oh Wait, it's a TV show. No, it's a reddit. Okay You go to the reddit. I'm gonna look at it shows you pictures of employed canines This is like bodega cats, but like much larger and fucking bodega cat. Okay, it's dogs on the job Doing its work herding dog Herding dog No, no, you gotta play dog find the one with the fine one that has like goggles on koala detection dog

There you go in the middle of the fires that might be the most obscure Possible task in the middle of ever in the middle of hell, Australia sled dog balloon dog Fishing dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah Sick child dog go to rate ranked by top of all time. Maybe I'll go see what you get I mean, there's gonna be a lot of sled dogs and Yeah, but every once in a while. There's like a fucking Dee Dee in there where you're just like ooh What's your what's your deal?

And it's like oh, you're trained to like turn the valves on this really important mo cap dog Solid Hey, you know halo. Mm-hmm. You know the grunts little little. Yeah. Yeah, yeah They got that fucking all their sound effects all their That's just a pug pitched Like pitched down Wow, like that You know, I thought it was like a gremlin. No, man. Well, yeah, man. Okay Ever heard a pug and I meant don't see not seen one because I heard one

They also sound like Java type fucking. Yeah, well when they talk, you know Right on. Yeah, there you go. I'm at a dog named jelly bean at magfest Did it have a job its job was to be old and shi-su Mm-hmm, which I feel like aside from my parents new dog I have literally never encountered a shi-su under the age of 25 I Don't know I can't I don't know the the the th tell but Well, it's hard to tell with dogs that are literally already gray. Yeah, cuz that's the you have to ask

You can't just make a read on that Like unless you're like a vet, but like the fuck no, who's that good? No, it's that good Just be like I can spot that dog's age just by looking at it Like yeah, well, it depends like golden retrieval like any dog I'm like really familiar with that has like significant coloring like dogs that have black or like golden fur It's really easy because they get gray around the jowls, but something that's already gray Is you fucking would you go? Yeah? Good luck you like? Some dogs you can tell it but only when they walk towards you because if they're really slow

You're like that dog's probably all sure Sure Yeah, there you go. You fucking you you sub to that. Okay, you get in there. I Want to sub to like a reddit that every time I scroll down I go, ah That's what no no That is Black magic fuckery. Okay, so black magic fuckery is produced straightforward

Excuse me You can look that one up and it's just yeah, it's things that make no sense For the first part of it or the last part of it And you're like or something that starts normal and then you just don't understand why it's happening And everyday life Are people that know have or people that have talents or abilities that make no sense? I Suggest that one There's also maybe maybe maybe which it's like

Something's about to happen and it might be bad disastrous Or it might be amazing and you don't know which so it's like maybe Maybe I've seen a lot of dumb videos over my life and you talking about maybe it reminds me of That guy in the motorized scooter that fights the elevator He's mad the elevator has gone down without him Just At the bottom of the video is by the way he died. Yeah, and you're like, oh, yeah Yeah, okay, I guess

Yeah, they I mean so that's the other thing too is like they there used to be a bunch of those I think they I think they kind of climbed down on You know like videos of people dying you so here's the thing so this there was there was a literally a reddit called like People dying yeah, right and it's like and that's what it is. It's your your fucking ogre sure you're You're you're rotten. You're rotten your Darwin award type thing. Yeah Now however, if you were to check out people fucking dying, okay, I think you might enjoy it because it's all Alternating texts of like low-cap high-cap, okay, right you have to type in that way and it's like Like

rabid vicious doggo consumes human head hole, okay, and it's just like a fucking lab Just putting a Bernard putting its mouth over a girl and then licking her face. Yeah, okay, and it's like she's fucking dead Oh my god. Yeah, leave it or like it's a cat inside of a suitcase. It's like sick fucks like Suffocates a cat inside is inside of a prison You know or just like a cat sticking its head out of a like a box And it's just like Decapitated cat on cardboard like just you know, all right, and it's and it's always in the alternating cap text and it's just It's like yeah, fuck your stupid shit, you know people fucking dying man

You know the internet has given us many many wondrous things Mm-hmm Can I get a subreddit that is literally nothing but people running into glass doors and not knowing the glass doors there Probably exists because popular but it's probably every time I have seen that it is my favorite like my day is made Yeah, like shoplifter hauling ass and like knocking themselves out on like a plastic partition. Yeah, it's just it's just like oh, oh Um It gets pretty it gets pretty Like I moved to I've talked a little bit about it not too long ago about how like you just scroll past the screenshot at headline on

I'm a total piece of shit. Yeah, and you just You sink a little bit top fucking level is good though It's one's a it's just an arrow pointing upwards It's just like a fuck you and it's just people doing Next level shit or next fucking level rather. It's next fucking level and it's people literally just being exactly that Well, you know what I will occasion enjoy as a kind of roulette spin on emotions The am I an asshole reddit am I an asshole was out there? Yeah I I term that a roulette spin because it covers every possible variation of emotions

Between like oh, man, that's hilarious and oh, this is gotta be fake, right? My roulette my roulette spin is fuck you Karen Uh-huh because some of them are hilariously like fuck you Karen and other times It's Karen winning and you never know what you're just mad about Karen Yeah, sometimes it's Karen posting on Facebook going. Hey, there's a measles outbreak in my county My kids are unvaccinated and anyone have any suggestions and then one person's reply is just like yeah, man Just throw some Frank's hot sauce on that shit. I put that shit on everything What are you gonna do, you know, that's a that's a

Suggestions that I'd rather not repeat on air on this podcast. It's a bit for that particular Karen. It's a dice roll That's it's good. That's a good one You can always count on accidental renaissance. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Oh, it's fun today I learned If you want to just it that I learned is like pretty like oftentimes like nearly exclusively It's like oh, I didn't know that but it's not a big deal and other times It's like how did you go your whole life get through the day without encountering this once today? I learned also It addresses I don't

It's been a long time since I've done like a lost day on a wiki dive It's been a couple years for me and today I learned kind of replaces that right because Like you can go down these rabbit holes But usually the title of the thing is interesting enough and you can click and find one or two people asking the core question You have about it and get that answer and then immediately back out So I that has slowed down what is otherwise a horrible day of digging to find out The thing that the wiki article does not tell you about I feel like though Ever since I discovered

Dan Reichert that today I learned shit is just super weak by comparison, okay Like Egg whites aren't the shells Dan Don't cook just the shells I Like I don't get it, but I also don't get it because

I don't get why you'd think that but I also don't know anything about preparing an egg so if somebody said hey Cook a cook eggs with just the whites So that like, you know Thought the would you start frying up the shell in the hand because that's the white part of the egg Yeah, yeah, would you do that? Yeah, that's insane. Yeah, that is a crazy thing to do. Yeah, okay That is yeah, so What do you call?

Because there's there are because I have and I do handle eggs from time to time If need be if need be and their security purposes. Well, there are some reasons like the best cocktail mixes use egg whites Okay, so I will I have learned how to crack and separate the yolk from the whites And it's not fun But like What what and then like, you know, sometimes there's that the like mini I guess embryo What is it? There's the third thing talking about like the red dot. It's not a red dot. No, it's like a little connecting white Piece in the middle of like the yolk. That's sort of there. That's like it. It's like a little extra gross thing

I don't know. It's all gross to me No Sometimes you have the you have the egg you have the fluid the membrane. Yeah, the membrane the membrane. Yeah, that shit's not good I don't like that Feel like eggs are about the closest the average person is getting to handling like internal organs pretty much because there's like You know, you get a slab of chicken or whatever from the butcher like that doesn't resemble an animal anymore That's a food product liver is liver Yeah, but like the egg

It's like there's that part and then there's that part where the roosters penis goes in the egg and sure Mm-hmm. That's how it happens. That is how it happens. Yeah, right out right out and into it I don't know how birds work, dude And they may or may not be real and then it does it with such precision that the egg seals itself back up Yeah, with with nothing to show for the damage There's a place that makes a liver puree, okay, yeah, and that sounds Horribly disgusting. Yeah

But I had it in what it was incredible. Yeah, well, I mean and I've now turned around on that Fucking dish the what do you call it? The innate the non innate or maybe it is innate Like to organ meat is just cuz like, you know, usually just buy your food at the supermarket Now you don't you're not nobody's making or very few people are making their own cutlets out of you know Chicken number two No, but no, but I mean like okay if you go to if you go to dim sum you might get offered some chicken legs Yeah, and you got a bite into a chicken leg, which is not that appetizing to me

Yeah, I mean like the feet the feet okay, not when I say a leg I don't mean the you don't mean like a drumstick. I mean the actual yeah, they are the right or the rooster foot Yeah, not a fan. No, no, no And like my mom used to cook and prepare a cow tongue. Yeah, right and she was into it Can't it just not too real for you the organ the organ is not meat, right? It's sorry It's meat, but it's not it doesn't have the same texture as like the actual fleshy parts So you just get these weird like chews out of it

And anytime you have those chews that are a little bit more stringy than it's supposed to be Then you think about why that's happening. I remember right so whether you want. Yeah, you you get a pig snout I heard about that. I've heard about eyeballs. Yeah, you gotta get that eyeball juice And I just can't get past it mentally, but I'll say is this the puree that I had was Super well, I mean once you turn it into pure a you'll eat anything. I'll eat cricket pure a fuck it That's the future Heat and bugs and shit. I mean, could you get past the legs? Well, and you grind it up man

But the legs you're always gonna turn it into a paste But you're always gonna miss miss like some little flex of it some little pieces You know like you grind it into a paste and then you still Alternative is literally eating my fellow man. Yes, I'll eat the crooked push comes to obviously push comes to shove you fucking You know what mate? You know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna walk that back Haven't had any any any people yet. Yeah, so who knows yeah Could you could you do?

Could you do human meat if the person who it's coming from is okay with it? Yeah, totally fuck it So if they're like all right my arm and Like this is this is what we got to do wait like we're sitting at the table with the person If they're still around like yeah, yeah You just that to me that answered that super to me. That's actually much more awkward, but they're okay with it I want to be in the same room. Wow So so that awkwardness is the only it's the so it's the social interaction got it Well, no, actually the number one reason is that there are about a hundred fucking nightmare diseases

You can only get from ingesting your own species Because it bypasses every single part of your immune system, but but but providing that you you skip all that. Yeah, you're so you're you're you're in Frick a seed the the the the more served with the kids the the moral the moral opposition to cannibalism is 99% centered on how did this get to my plate man? What because there are very few good answers to that question is is the 1% will I become a when to go? Because it should be a when to go seems cool

Pros you never have to wear clothes again. You pretty much live forever Don't need dental anymore Cons you are a feral beast thing when to go problems. You can you can never enjoy media again They just look down and saw the phrase Pat being a when to go sucks I don't know why but that that's just straightforward. Just like yeah, you're an animal. What are you stupid? You're an animal thing And like you might even have the memories of enjoying being a human thing. All right. Well, don't eat human meat Um

Ethically prepared or not Everyone was already on board with that. You were the one that just said you're down to do it You're now preaching out a thing, but you're the one that everyone's staring at going You just agreed to eat the human meat Pat Well, I'm not gonna do it on some mystical you can't draw a conclusion to a Conversation that is don't eat the human meat when you are the one who said I would eat the human meat and everyone sat and went what? I think you can't do that. That's not how you sum up a conversation. Listen if the human meat is prepared ethically and and

mainly you mainly yeah, well, I mean, yeah, and And I'm not gonna get sick Fuck it, okay, and how I'll get to say I did it and how would you want it prepared? Well I'm not an expert on cooking people if you had to do it in what form would you want it served? Okay, well We're closest in consistency to pork By like orders of magnitude for some reason So like I would I could eat one human bacon

Smoked dried. Yeah skinned thin strip, yeah fried up. Yeah, okay See There's a lot of really tasty versions of the way to do it. Yeah, if Absolutely forced to when there's no way out Gun to my head. You're in the mountains. It's no way down Blizzard and Steven's fucking Steven whatever sliced alone. Yeah and John let's go There's no way down. We're gonna start for sure. It's not John let's go. I keep mixing up cliffhanger with fucking wait

That's super wrong. That's super wrong. That's not alive. Anyway Fuck that you're hanging off the cliff. I'm just taking a bite out of snow mountain movies blur together in my childhood brain It's it's they were both like things we'd see out the we We'd go down to videotron and they'd be airing them on the screen to be like yo watch this movie. Anyway Remember those days when you could watch part of a movie just standing in a video star And it would be like the whole movie if you just happen to stand I do remember that yeah So do you remember if the guy at the demo kiosk wasn't paying attention? You could beat entire console games at the fucking kiosk. Oh, they were paying attention. They just didn't care

Yeah, that's true. They didn't why they're not paid enough to care They similarly didn't care when you discovered that you could just return a used game forever Until then you know come corporate made them stop doing that Yeah, I always use the third safe slot so that the asshole doesn't erase your progress You know, there's a couple things there but put in that because my point was simply that I would probably go for like a a medium a medium or

Medium rare not rare. No medium or medium. Well like Like Seasoned a little bit But not so much because it's like if you're gonna do it this one time You want to taste as much of the difference of war as possible, right? If you have to find out just give me a steak That's what I'm saying, right? Because if you have to find out but then they just they fucking throw it in some general towel

Yeah, and then you you batter it and sauce it I mean, that's that's a good way to be like hey, guess what everybody so that you all just had Jimmy Yeah, so that's all and that's like who cares right? That's Scott Tenerman shit. Yeah, right? You're like, well, it doesn't make a difference. I couldn't even tell but if you want to at least be like I can say I know the real difference. Yeah, which you know a few people can say they do Yeah, then you go for the one that allows you to taste the difference Which is not overdoing it with the sauces and coverings still a little bit of salt You know, you know I need

I'm gonna I'm gonna roll it back around to our retail discussion and once went and bought a cell phone and It was the first razor I ever bought you remember the razor mm-hmm how cool those phones was they weren't but I remember they were shut Up, don't you dare sit there and tell me the razor wasn't a cool phone. Okay, hold on I'm realizing a wild wild problem with what the way my brain works We were just entertaining like cannibalism for 20 minutes No problem, but you're like the razor wasn't cool, and I'm like shut up No, that's crazy. Yeah, how dare you say the razor motor or the flip-load was not cool You know, you know, you know what was the worst part of the razor

What's that was all you razor owners telling me how cool it was and then flipping it out Doing this and going you want to see it? Okay, so I'm now remembering I totally literally did that to you with my razor all of you. Yeah Anyway, so I buy the razor and I wanted the blue one and they only had one blue one left And I'm like, yeah, my new razor and I pulled out and there's phone numbers on it That's weird and I called one and This guy answered is like who the fuck is this? I'm like, I don't know I just pulled out a razor flip phone and your numbers on it and just hung up immediately

and I brought it back to the store and It was such a great experience because It was totally that guy. Yeah, because he was like, oh wow, that's crazy. I how could that have happened? Oh Man, mm-hmm. I'm gonna have to like call my ball. Oh geez. That's Oh weird, huh? Do you want a different one? No, I would just like a refund, please. I

Would eat that guy eat that guy. Yeah, fuck that guy He deserves the indignity of getting eaten What about Assuming he died of natural causes a non-paying fleet. What about the child trafficker right next to him? It's a pretty fucked up radio shack I Mean like What what is why are you working at Radio Shack if you're into the lucrative business of child trafficking?

Well, you know, it's it's really cuz it's just it's it's that if the first place you go of If the first place you go on like the eat list Yeah, is that guy that fucked me over by using my phone like a dick employee that one time Yeah, I mean all dick employees listen I think it's I think it's x but the worst that a dick employee can be to you is the one who was late on your child Trafficking the it pales in comparison to you know, the human beings that should be I ordered free-range children, please This child was clearly caged On the list of rankings of people that should be removed from this planet

I think we can go a little higher. Oh, no, listen. No, listen. I'm not gonna actively pursue someone to eat them That's obviously immoral. But what about the most dangerous game of all? Playing fucking dynamite tennis on bears Man Anyway, what fucking move what's the name of the movie where iced tea has to run away from Gary Busey trying to eat him? I don't know man. It's manhunter. Where's that a Hannibal Lecter movie? I don't know Because there's a movie where iced tea gets invited by Gary Busey To come hang out with his buddies in the country and then they're like, haha

It's actually the most dangerous game of all man, and they're like trying to eat like Eat iced tea. Would it be called the most dangerous game? Would they would they have the balls to actually just call it that? Because that'd be something but yeah, no, I don't know This has been an enlightening rater. That's what it was. It was you're right. It's totally it was totally Tomb Raider So, um Yeah, so no listen, I'm not gonna chase down people to eat them Cannibalism is not okay unless if you make sure that every part of oh

man I've really dug myself in on this one. Mm-hmm If I went to one of those like South American cultural funerals where the you're supposed to eat the person. Mm-hmm. I might have a bite Mm-hmm outside of that Of course the the premise of all of this is buzz is you know There's an underlying like life-threatening situation that you must engage in this meeting You know, could you could you?

Could you cut open someone and get the food out of them if they just ate it? So it didn't have time to digest so It's funny that you mentioned this because I refreshed my memory on some of this a while ago Are you familiar with the term chime? No, so ch y m e Chime so digestion starts in your mouth. Mm-hmm. It does not medication So you turn food into chime. Yeah, you've tried to push this a lot. Yeah Anyway, once it hits the stomach, that's

It's no good No, by the time acid and stuff that's not true It's halfway to poo it by the time it hits the stomach that is crazy Listen, it becomes gooey and it does start to get coated But it's totally still in its meat form or whatever form that for a while Because you barf and when you barf it up, you see the pieces. Yeah, would you eat barf is what you're asking? It's not what I'm saying because all there's a lot of acids that have yet to kick in But if you see it going down and it's like coming down the esophagus, and I don't think you can I don't think you can get there fast enough, man

I don't think you know if you're wait if you're digging around in this person Why are you going for the food that they ate instead of just them? Well, that's what I'm that's what I'm saying is that would that the question is is would that be less gross to you? No, okay That's an extra step and the distinction between food and cannibalism there is like razor thin Because at that point you're like you're taking The nutrients I'm stealing your nutrients from them from from you're stealing the nutrients They had as opposed to the nutrients they have themselves and you you definitely avoid those those

Disease bypass all right. I have a question for you Say you could install this better be a double down Go it's it's it's a side grade say you could install a valve into a person, okay? And you would turn the valve, okay, and the food would exit their digestive system Somewhere between their mouth and their ass How far down the tract is too far The end of the esophagus, okay, so you don't want it to hit the stomach at all at all, okay Yeah, pretty much. That's my that's my one. Do you want to add hydrochloric acid to it? It's basically that's my limit

Yeah, it's got to go. It's got to be esophagus or nothing. Yeah Be wary of somebody who answers that question any lower It's nothing good down there. No hydrochloric acid is bad for you. That's why it burns when you vomit So Do you think the butt is all right give me a second? Oh It's not even that bad. Oh, yeah, but it's a back down. It's a double. It's a it's a it's a retreat All right, do you think but meat is probably as the fattiest? Oh, I mean, it's like that for pigs and cows and it's probably the best. Yeah, probably depending on the person

Probably it might be firm if the person's super fucking like lanky or whatever, but it's probably the place to go Yeah, get a get a butt steak, right foot meets probably awful. I would not trust foot me calf is untruable. Yeah You know what might be okay, what's that like cheek square? Yeah, you know what? Like like a sandwich meat Just like a thin Sizzle up. Yeah, not too long on either side probably ethically of course Let's all keep this cannibalism discussion ethical They were okay with it and they knew that you had to do what you yeah

If you stuck around this far in this conversation, you're you you're just as guilty honestly So you've basically eaten someone already I mean look at the end of the day. Yeah, we have Surprisingly large Options for what we can take energy from aside from each other In general human beings compared to other animals. Yeah, we can do all we can yeah, we can omni Omnivorousness is pretty rad. That's a pretty pretty big big buff

We don't have that enzyme that lets you digest grass, which is super good So like but like imagine imagine if you were exactly if you if you were not omnivorous and you were in a fucking You know, you bring a cow to a desert. Yeah, you're done. Yeah, that's sorry cow Your mouth isn't tough enough to eat this cactus. You're basically dead and like We're there's definitely situations where we're done to a desert. It's not that great for us But like you need most the other things that do live in the desert You can eat a lot of things if you come across them, maybe right the few things you might come across if any Yeah, tracked out a lizard. Maybe I'll make that lizard you find a cactus

Well, depending on what your tool Availability is yeah, if you have the ability to cut the cactus up. Yeah You know, you could you could you could do some shit with it So we have some pretty good powers as far as that goes and I think we should celebrate those By not eating each other and by occasional Yeah so Yeah, I always think every time, you know those old

Goofy depictions of like the savages that puts you in the pot. Yeah And then they're like you're gonna sit here and boil and it's like oh my god. It's like the cartoonish. Yeah, that whole thing it's like I Have to just take it back to like isn't that the worst way to prepare somebody it is actually it's it's a guaranteed way to get super sick It's like why would you just boil them did this water like that's nasty my dad had An uncle Some dumb fuck from out, you know and lived in the city all his whole life Went camping with the extended family almost killed the entire family By being oh, yeah, I'll all killed the chicken for dinner and he shot it with a handgun

With no special round that was it you just shot it and then plucked it and then Didn't do any of the shit you're supposed to do she's almost wiped out an entire branch of my history Like I would fade away Right now back to the future style had they not been some industrious French Canadians human beings have been killing chickens and eating them for Our like way before the dawn of recorded history. There is so much knowledge on how to not fuck that up recorded

That is astoundingly stupid. Yeah, sure is Well, anyway, I Don't know this family member's name It was declined to ever be discussed and he died long before I was ever bored not surprising Probably preparing his own food I Was just gonna get to the point that I hadn't and I had this discussion with Reggie and I was met with resistance

Yeah, you mean this whole discussion. No, no, no, I'm coming just the upcoming okay Boiling is the worst form of meal preparation. Yeah, that's the worst There is nothing where it were it's just awful every exception of having to make a soup It is just it is objectively terrible your ear. Yeah, it's bad and the one example He was like, but what about boiled steams though. I'm like, oh, you're fucking hot dogs He's like, yeah boiled steams Steamed hot dogs aren't even boiled like they're steamed like you but like still but like and he's like, yeah But that's how you know, he's like you use you take them and throw them in the pot and boil them

And then you that's how you heat them up and eat them And I'm like and you would rather that than the one that's on the fire with the grill marks on it Yeah, that doesn't that doesn't taste superior to you the extra smell burn flavor much You out of your fucking having having the the running tally of your dumb ass in the side corner of my vision does offer the Idea that I'm glad people brought to my attention, which is grilling pasta does suck ass Who has ever? That's my point. You have to boil pasta

and Pasta is pretty okay You could put it on one of those like Diner grills that is like a fuck you. No, no, it's not a pasta. No, it's not a grill What do you it's just like a flat hot surface that they make like grease food on? What is that? It's like not it's not like a skill. They cook everything on it. Yeah, the fucking short order cook fucking. Yeah The the the mega stove or what the fuck is that called? Yeah, the griddle griddle. Okay. Yeah, you can

You can in theory put pasta on that and it won't fall through and and just burn. Yeah, but it'll just it'll just burn Yeah, it would it would but here's here's one counterpoint for the Crispy noodles are delicious. Crispy noodles are delicious So if you have to fire them up a little bit to get them to that state I prefer the crispy noodle to the non-crispy noodle and let me ask you a question you ever get like like a bag of penne or like Brighatoni or some shit from the store and Like your mom was like making pasta, you know fucking whatever and You just like fuck it and you grab the bag and you like dumped a bunch into a bowl just ate them like they were crackers

Never would do that. No, because the because No, because even if you want the end state of your pasta to be like, you know better You have to boil it first right there is a boil step You have to do for pasta first to soften it. No, you can just eat crunchy pasta. You just eat it Well, you know fuck you you you're yeah, you can you can enjoy your throat getting cut up. No, man My throat is strong So and that's that is to say that was that tongue noise like ten jokes being put aside, it's you know You you we all heard them. Yeah, all right

So you you saw like to get to the ideal crispy pasta. Yeah, you got to do the boil first So it's it's part of the process can't take that away But in nine out of ten cases, I would never want to eat a boiled human is what I'm saying boiling things is awful. I Had a friend back in church. Oh boy, and his father was a bit of a weird guy, yeah and He would always everyone would bring their turn their food to like, you know, the luncheon The church picnic or whatever. Yeah, I'd be after service Yeah, we'd bring out the the meals and everyone would get their paper plates and their foil

Yeah, that's awesome, and you scoop out But he would always do his thing and his thing was boiled fruit that seems awful seems is Okay was yeah continues to be I've never encountered this but it doesn't sound appetizing There are old people out there That were taught that a method of fruit preparation is boiling it. See here's the thing. I don't understand fruit by its own definition

Requires no preparation to eat whatsoever. But what if you wanted it softer? soggy or And with some of the juices gone into the water around it Like what if you just felt like eating an inferior version of the thing you were about to eat What if then you got to boil it? Boil that apple Get it soft Boiled apple, huh?

Boiling is the worst I got to say it's something for real that I'm sitting here and I'm like I would rather have a human Burger than a fucking boiled up There's a discussion You could talk me into it. I'm not starting there. Yeah, but you could talk me into there's a there's a there's a circuit to his path because to this day Fucking 20 odd years later Out of nowhere. I am still remembering how horrible

boiled fruit as a concept was and I'm still throwing this dude under the bus. Yeah, that's how scarring it was. I'll tell you what I See you want to talk food scars. I Can taste onion salt in anything now onion powder Like the yellow stuff they use and no onion salt. No, I don't even really or celery salt You know that shit. Not really. No. Well, I I do I only there is even a pinch of that shit in any any food

I'm like basically gonna spit it out Cuz old people in my family are like man That You're a fan of Seinfeld bully sure you remember Frank stays in the core. Mm-hmm when you get old meat Well, maybe if you season it long enough It'll be fine If you just put enough Onion salt and celery salt on it and you scrape the green off

Then it'll be fine I'm only familiar with like Regular table salt and then the super fine version that gets used yeah I'm just but I don't know much about no and sea salt or sea salt sea salt those two salts and the entire meat of lamb are just Go fuck yourself lamb is delicious not when it's slimy No, not when it could be characterized as slimy. No, I can't say I've had slimy my life slimy slimy lamb is Doesn't know that's no that then makes you shit your ass for a whole day. No, that's no good

but lamb I've had prepared Afghan style, which is like With the I like bandit lamb like a big old shank with the with the with the bone in it Sitting on a plate of like basmati rice. Yeah, the different three three colored rice things and With a yogurt sauce It's it's incredible. You know what's you know fucking good food memories are intense is what we're discovering Bad food experiences will Integrate into your mind strongly if I taste bouillon cube soup powder. Yeah It's something it's it's it doesn't matter what the dish is my grandmother made it

Mm-hmm, and that was her seasoning and everything literally every single every single time she would grab some soup powder That's how you put it on. Yeah. Yeah, right your rice with the with the gravy the gravy's got soup powder in it You taste that that yellow kick You know with that onion back. Oh, this is awful and It's not like it didn't start that bad But after every single meal had that taste to it it can fucking go It can go And it was something that was just like you're only doing this because you like this

Like yeah, you're not doing this for the family anybody You're doing this because you like it and you're making everything fucking tainted by that like my mom is like a Decent cook. She's not the best cook. She's not a bad cook. She loves bland food like terrible bland food but when she would make it she'd be like Alright, so I'm gonna dole out my own shit for me and Then season it for the remainder of the humans in the household. Yeah for everybody else No one one thing I'll say my mom was good at was like Making shit that she had no interest in eating whatsoever. Yeah, you know, that is a noble act

Yeah, and like doing it. Well by getting it and being like I could taste this and go yet Yeah, I fucking don't want any of that being said I will I can taste it and be like that I will throw poor mom under the bus super hard in that the Classical situation of oh, I hate rice rice is terrible It's always so weird and buttery and Ugh, and then I had Chinese rice. I'm like, oh, right Sticky rice. Yeah, sticky rice is different different beast. Yeah, it sure is

Want some dry-ass rice with some butter on it? No, why would there be butter and dude? I don't know man. I don't know I Don't know how that became a solution Butter is in fact an ingredient when you're doing rice But you put the butter in the thing in the like if you're if you're if you have if you have like a pot Where you're putting the water in Right, you can put butter in the water, but you can't put butter afterwards. That's so weird right And or if you have a rice cooker you can just yeah, you can do that

So, you know, I'm just thinking of boiling is so like disliked That even a new form of cooking sous vide Which is close systematically to boiling sure Like most people are like, okay, so you've cooked your steak for four days and they were your bathtub or whatever like a psycho Throwing a pan for 10 seconds so that at least looks like food. There you go. Yeah, right. No It's just fires fire rules fires your friend well, I mean no not not you guys but

For food purposes fires your friend. Sorry. Hell's trail. Yeah. Sorry guys It's it's tough that this universal force of nature is being such a dick right now and that Apparently some volunteer firefighters want there to be more. Um, what what? I Don't know if it's real or not. This feels like a stupid thing that I would say I don't know. Where did this come from? I don't know if it's real or not But I scrolled past a tweet or two that led that had that involved Someone saying that there was a volunteer firefighter that set more fire

Well, sure, I guess and it was like what? Are you serious? Well? Yeah, I gotta say this this might be the lowest bar for veracity that has ever been on this podcast. I Think I might have scrolled past a tweet where some guy said yeah is a pretty low bar for reality It's probably not real But There was an old anyway, what doesn't matter The point was that fire makes everything taste better

Yeah, it does and the smoke flavor adds to a lot of it and it's I bet Australia is delicious right now And if it were not for fire Right, there's theories that we would not have gotten as far as we have as a human race Because the cooking of meat allowed us to spend less energy digesting the meat Yeah, and because we didn't have to spend as much energy Digesting the meat it was like Predigested right the fire breaks it down in the same way that in a similar way to what your stomach would be doing But it does some of the work for you

So you just get all the good parts without the work and then you can divert that energy to other things Yeah, and so there's a thought process out there that says like the cooking of food Literally allowed us but now we're weak to raw meat Well, sure, but at least back in the day like unlike, you know, you know when you see it's like, okay the fucking gorillas and The koalas have to just sit there and spend all day eating their thing So gorillas have to eat like eight hours a day Okay, I got confused there for a second because I thought you were creating a situation in which gorillas and koalas are hanging out No, but they're similar in that they spend all fucking day eating

Yeah, because they have inefficient food sources, right and pandas, but it's what they got to do, right? So it's just like you'll give me that fucking eucalyptus. That's all they do. Yeah, right Yeah, that shit if you could cut that shit down where you can like be like, okay Now you only have to eat for four hours. Yeah, we found a better salad. Yeah, then You'd be able to spend that, you know, remember reading up on sloths and that's like in time baffling how they made it this far at all because Their evolutionary path is just like what if you just use the minimum amount of energy possible? Mm-hmm, but it takes them like hours to take a shit and for some reason sloths are unwilling to shit in the tree

Mm-hmm. They will crawl all the way down to the floor. I held a sloth. Did you? Yeah I went to Granby You're allowed to hold sloths at Granby now. You have to become the sloth caretaker for the day Okay, so we have a friend that fucking loves sloths. And so we got her a Sloth mom pass. Okay, and so she got to go in and like, you know hold it and do and feed it and like so we all got to kind of check it out and I would say that the part of the answer to your mystery question about how they lasted this long is that their grip is Fucking phenomenal. Yeah, and they could just stay in place up in the high place and chill

With that isn't gripped forever So if they didn't have to call climb down and shit themselves Yeah, they don't have an of the most efficient system but they do have a system that works for them based on the ability to grab that long and Meanwhile for us, we do things faster, but how long can you hold on to a branch? bit We've seen it. We there's a limit to how long you can hold your body weight up, you know Like wait when not you specifically. I'm like, you know, we've seen it Pat

Human beings are garbage at holding on to our body. Yeah, it's like extended periods of time Well, also, we don't have like giant claws. Yeah you know like It gets really rough after a very short period of time. Yeah, I live slow die whenever so The sloth doesn't have to worry about that. Yeah Are they intelligent at all there? Yeah, they're fine. Okay Animal intelligence is weird. I bet you it's all just metabolism shit. Yeah, it's all just based on their metabolism They perceive time differently. No

No, I don't think so like everybody's just so fast. I Mean insects seem really fast to us. They are So But it's all relative According to Einstein you're experiencing time at a different rate than me right now Micro fractionally like infinity I am variation. Yeah, because light is not the exact same. Yeah for me than it is that's crazy and That applies across the globe

This is science Whatever happened to I fucking love science Like are they still around? I Mean Vsauce kind of ate their lunch I used to subscribe to that and like check out it was it's post it was on Facebook. Yeah, that's what happened That's why I was like that. Why did that? Where did that go? And I was like, oh, I just yeah, that's not around anymore. That's why Like cuz like in my mind mind palace like my brain goes. I fucking love science Turns into hi Michael from Vsauce here

Did you know about black holes? No, I didn't Michael Tell me about black holes. That's cool What'd you do went to magfas. Mm-hmm Saturday was nice It was nice that it wasn't super cold. It was actually slum what worrying that it wasn't super cool slum what worrying. Yeah America's still a weird off-brand movie set in my mind The genre of movies about to change. Yeah I Got to hang out with Fox Cade and butter buns

Which was the the the new people that I met in particular as well as the Current owner and non-founder of saved you a click video games All three of the people that I mentioned pretty cool Fox Cade met pretty cool Huge and Chad and handsome and strong clicky. Is that what does that what you're going? That's what I'm going with I'm calling him clicky clicky. He's like nah, man. Call me this and immediately the crowd turns against him and go No, you don't get to pick your nickname. Well saves you a click. That's a he's saucy He comes out guns blazing he's looking obsessed with Kamen Rider and

Daisy yeah people only saw half of that pin Yeah, he didn't see they didn't see the other half of the other side of the pin that said my wife who on it, but Hey, by the way, I know you're listening to the podcast Daisy sucks She's actually Overrated peaches way better ghost will go see her and Sonic and Mario at the Olympics. That's fair. She's a fucking beast God But with Yeah came in hard and fast with the burns I can see the nature of it. I can see what's up. I can see what he's going for Didn't

Didn't see that age coming, but it is what it is. Yeah, that was weird That was upsetting did not expect 40% higher toy or count like engagement 50% age yeah upsetting Well in any case Yeah, there was that and you know, I I

Fucking got to Fall in love with Ultimax again Because that cabin heard you had a streak going on the cab had a streak going on the cab Fought it thought a really strong you Like some some tournament player was just beasting for a while But I went back at multiple points and then like at one point it was me and then there was two other Montreal players that happened to come to MacFest and on the left side was guilty gear and on the right side was million Arthur and

One of the players because it was spider and air master one of the players got a 16 game win streak and I was like, okay, fuck that That's the goal to beat and I got to 12 on Ultimax and I was I was I was doing all right and then Fuck in Minita came by and just I That's what he was talking about now. I remember he said yeah, I went down to Ultimax and wrecked will he streak he fucked my streak up He fucked my streak up. I was I was not too pleased with that. So I'm gonna give him that shit for a while

But yeah, I just missed that game man, I just missed that game so much and Yeah, there's a bunch of other stuff that I felt like had I gone down there and gotten a hold of it I would have just become sad. Hmm Like I just don't know why they won't port it. It exists. Just port it. Please probably Weirdness with the licensing you did the dancing game. Just do this one, too You're already using the license because you've put them in BB tags. Can we just the licensing? Oh, well, actually, there's your answer because BB tag is is the new face of that shit That's nothing to stop them from making an old game available if you just want to check it out like whatever, you know

But don't compete with yourself, man And then What was there there was Dems fighting herds played that for a bit Against the devs and that was pretty fun. I went back later with my friends and like started doing, you know some sets and then Someone that was there just kind of sits down picks the character picks a character That I play and just starts fucking wrecking my shit in one round and Like I just the way they were playing I was like

Are you that person that jumped on my live stream and body with this character? They're like, yeah, that was And you were just gonna sit here and not say anything, huh? There's like, yeah, that was Oreo. So That was that was fun as well Coming along There's a game called blood BLU D That I put it on the docket because they have a trailer, but it's fucking great looking top-down

You know, it's let me pull up a trailer while you're talking about yeah, yeah, and like the animation is Fantastic in terms of like It's like a cartoon network style, you know, like it looks like almost like it's the What it looks I'm looking at it. I'm confused. Yeah, like the character proportions look, you know, like almost Gendy a little bit. Yeah, some of that other stuff But but you know and then you roll you have a roll you have a melee you got a little you got a you know projectile Oh, this animation style is wild. It's fucking great. We'll take a look at it later, you know, but Got to check that out and was really impressed with it

Um So, yeah, but but like I'll show you all that after To mellow was around that was fun, you know talk. Oh, yeah got to hang out with slow beef again Love hanging out with slow beef Missed him. Okay work. Yeah You know, it's really bizarre. I remember being like ages ago and be like wow So beef's been doing this forever, you know, like, oh man, he's like a internet like Staple, right? Oh, he's been doing it ever since I was like a child and then we're hanging out and like

the longer time goes on The less that gap becomes as a function of our total age and Like you're catching up. Mm-hmm and it's like, ah Ah Yeah, they're like a half step ahead Well, the trick is that there's a certain limit where the future stops moving forward Yeah, and then you hit the threshold and now you're just there So he's just stopped moving I suppose

Looks younger than I do Yeah, I'm setting but yeah, did that and and and a hearty shout out to To mellow for like getting that you got a vinyl. Yeah. Yeah of his shit Which is back there and I also picked up a couple other vinyls at the game Can you give people a list of everything behind you later on? People are wondering. I mean, I just changed it. Okay. Yeah, so I gotta want to know

I got a Metal Gear solid one that I that I that I swapped out something for I got a Delta Rune vinyl that I swapped something out for You know, there's a couple of different ones up there now, so What's the deal with vinyl? It's music and it's a pretty box. Okay So how much of it is the higher quality of the music and how much of it is the display purpose of the of the box? It's entirely the display purpose. Okay. That's that's it's a glorified post cuz they're really nice. It's a glorified poster. Yeah so You know, there's all that stuff and whatnot I

Had a had a pretty fun panel with I patch wolf. I hope that that video goes up at some point Oh, you're gonna cool that fest records all their stuff So I think it's see that there's a paper on the desk that said they record all their stuff Does that mean they recorded that goddamn? Undertale and Donkey Kong I think it might mean that got recorded because I would love to see the official version of that I missed both of them but heard like Incredible stories Looking at there's a there's a magfest 2019 playlist that has all panels on it

So I suspect that that'll be a thing because Paige came back from the Undertale one going it was incredible It was the best of times. It was the worst of times and then the DK one was like apparently next level even worse Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna grab that and throw it up if I do see it, but You know all in all That was cool and You just say I was cool that was cool I said did I miss hear that or is woolly losing his mind? No, that's all I was trying to say You know saw some fun cosplay

someone didn't so actually someone did a police knots that Fucking I forgot you did say you did say I was No, that was cool that was cool. I said that was cool But I said I didn't say that properly. It's slurred out, but whatever That was cool Someone did police knots and that was rad and then it turned out that someone I was a guru magima Cosplayer

That I follows that looks like cool. So that was fun anyway, um, there was a Super Soul Brothers concert that ended on chrono cross music. So Fuck you thing chrono cross ever did fuck you and Oh, okay. Okay. I didn't oh I'll fight you all day about Chrono cross as a full package and the battle theme But the core of that game like is totally carried by the music which is incredible I didn't know that but the we only discussed those two previous. Yes, so I assumed it was all its overall quality is shit

And its battle theme is hot garbage, but the music otherwise is incredible. I didn't realize that you felt that way Okay, well then yes, they ended on that and that was nice and then The ska to network took the stage and that was a lot of fun because it's exactly what it sounds like It's songs, you know and love Converted to ska. Oh sick It's great sure is Brass instruments are a lot of fun. Oh, yeah

upbeat Scars forever You will never betray ska. You just mad because you don't know how to skank You're so right That's exactly why I'm mad at ska So anyway Yeah, so there's all that stuff that was five days out of my week and I mean we didn't do the podcast last week But aside from that was I was no life in destiny and hey

Destiny's good. I did some stuff. Yeah. Yeah, what else you got going on? Um? So, oh, yeah, the soundtrack to common writer o's is all fucking Enjoy that. Let me write down which common writer to skip Trump no Trump to sell skip Kamen Rider o'se. How do I spell it? Oh, it's like ooze. It's oh, oh, oh apostrophe. Yes ooze More like layman writer Hey before we move on I'd like to I'd like to discuss something that I'm trying and

I want your opinion on it woolly. I Have decided to just never fix any spelling errors ever again Co-fee-fee Just fuck it people figure it out The two seconds that it would take for me to have written that tweet correctly. We're not worth it. I Fuck it I started doing All lowercase no punctuation as a tone as a voice as like a specific tone Yeah, well the voice you know what that voice is to me

It's the voice of like there's the there's the comic book panel where there's what you're saying Yeah, and then there's the little line with the small text underneath it where you're saying a little afterthought About whatever so like it's gonna be fine. It's not going to be fine Yeah type of yeah, and it's it doesn't even have a circle around it for like the little afterthought It's just text floating around your head That's what the tone was for me and then like I started doing that voice so much that at some point I realized that like wait people are thinking that I'm actually sounding like that just I'm not even I'm just typing whatever see And then it's and then parody became reality. Here's the thing is that

my just refusal to fix spelling errors is actually a more accurate Symmilacrum of my actual speech Perfect like me I I constantly say words bad and

Writing words bad is like the new the new frontier for getting my point across Okay, so so in other words people will no longer over estimate your intelligence They will now have an accurate representation. They'll have an act. Well, not my intelligence more just like my vocal ability Your communications my communication skills. There you go Well Do you Do you remember that Argument I had with an old mutual friend of ours about a text message that escalated I do I

Do it escalated Dramatically, yes, because I'm an asshole and they couldn't just admit that the message they wrote me made no sense at all It Did not make sense. It's okay that so I'm bringing up on like a stupid argument from a decade ago Just to get the reconformation that that text that I got on my phone was unintelligible It was nonsense It the meaning could not be derived yeah Yeah, and when I went hey, man, I literally don't know what that text message is I

Received the response of why are you such an asshole about my spelling all the time? And this then escalated to all right. Let's see if anyone else can figure out what you're saying and the answer was no Yeah I Absolutely, and you know what a decade later, I'm still upset because they never told me what it was supposed to be The message was never delivered ever there was also the argument that eventually got so convoluted that the sides became switched when you discussed it Like whatever it was at first by the end. Oh God. What was it by the end of the argument?

They switched it around we had had an argument and then they told the story and they switched the positions of the people arguing and People were coming up to me and going you sound like a dumbass, and I'm like why yeah, and I went wait no that That's the what that's the I was on the other side of that. Yeah, what the fuck? And then we go back to talking about Random random black things and and then at a certain point it would just anyway like where Where's this going? Why okay? Yeah, that happened. Oh, man. Yeah, that's a cherished memory for me

So and I'm keeping that moment alive forever By refusing to spell correctly No, that's not true. I'm not refusing to spell correctly. I'm doing my best, but I can't type for shit on my phone I got stumpy fingers. I'm bad at it Well anyway The stuff that I did outside of What was previously discussed? I finished the Mandalorian all right?

Oh Good great great and I think You should wait what? Wait did something just jump out of your mind and just pull you back This is gonna all right, this is gonna make no sense. Okay, let's go. Let's do it make no sense. All right. All right. Listen, okay I watched watched one to seven of it, okay, and

I remember thinking I just assumed it was going to be like 10 or 13 or something like right and then Punch mom went and found out that it was actually eight. Yeah, it's pretty short and then I was like, oh, okay So then she's like, do you want to watch the last one? I was like, yeah, okay And then I got it and then we were too tired. So we didn't watch it right But like I just passed out like playing teppin. Yeah, and then like your gas of choice I and I was thinking about what was gonna happen Wait, is this you saying you didn't actually finish it and for some reason when I woke up You're like, I finished I finished the mandalore

But I didn't actually finish it I just watched up to the second to last episode And my brain just said you're done because it gave me the right you download it Sorry, you acquired it. It my brain gave me the end and that was it done now And people are talking about how it's over the folder was closed right and that was What what Man sleepy brain doesn't make sense when it's sleepy brain ever made sense I woke up 5 30 this morning. It doesn't fucking Sleepy brain doesn't care. I I crushed my sleep schedule like never before

Before magfest and then I went to a con and now I'm back to my regular life and I'm confused and Sleepy and confused Okay, well, I almost finished the mandalorian not done yet, but For the brief miniseries It's good and apparently Bob Iger and Kathleen Kennedy want to turn that into the next Star Wars movie did that come out There's talks See that is Almost the problem in and of itself. Yeah

The story is enhanced by its scale Which is very microscope very small Very simple stories. It is not about the big bombastic movie thoughts about it, right? It's about the dude Saying what needs to be said on when it's when the moments occur like most of the stories Have a lot of silence and then baby Yoda flips and stuff happens

But then there's dinner. There's not there's not I'm saying there's time. There's a lot of dialogue Yeah, but I just mean to say that like there's not a lot of like Doing excessive extra shit. Yeah, there's not a lot of excessive World-building with or like characters and things like that It's like everything is direct to whatever the thing of the day is or what are the whatever the the task of And is and that's about it, right and It works because of that scale and it works because it's not going anywhere else in the lore and A bunch of fun little cameos

Throughout it. I assume. Yeah, you must have heard right? Well, I almost spoiled the final episode for you Like with a joke. Okay, that thank God you were clear. Okay What's going on? But like so far like almost every episode has had like a fun guest star when you're like, oh, that's that's You know like I saw what appears to be IG 88 at some point So there's that and I'm like that is first episode actually. That's a joke That's like that's an actual like red letter media gag. Yeah. Yeah first episode actually and then there's other little bits where you go Oh, yeah, okay

There's a reference to like the Mandalorian Wars. Oh, cool. You know, okay. Yeah, wait, seriously the and in a discussion You know so there's like little and just but it's not we're not going too hard Just it's just a little thing, you know I saw Eli talking about this Do you know what the plan for the next batch of Star Wars movies actually is I mean, there's a million discussions happening It's apparently it's going to be the High Republic era which is 600 years before the whatever so they're freed from their own mistakes and Mass Effect started out as kind of a off-brand Star Wars and now Star Wars is becoming mass effect

High Republic is after the Old Republic. Yeah, okay Like whoops We made it all stupid. Okay. Let's just let's just move it slightly for enough. I Mean they did pick a super fuck long time ago for Kotor and tour So there is in between space ever see the Kotor comics People post pages the coolest thing about them is the technology sucks and like lightsabers need like waist-mounted like battery packs and shit

like it's It's old But so much was so similar from in the games. Yeah, they they they made the games look like, you know You want it to look like the movie or or like what would the Dark Ages of Like space travel laser world. Well, I mean the concept makes no sense at all Yeah, because it's stupid like because Star Wars is stupid There's like for example, if there was like no small fast ships, yeah, everything had to be a big committed traveling

Yeah, space vessel. I don't know whatever anyway Mandalorian is a good watch and it's enjoyable good and I how adorable is that baby Yoda? Well, it's funny because when they finally did start putting out all the toys. Yeah, what are you gonna call them? It's clearly not baby Yoda That's no good and I guess the name of the stupid race that Bay Yoda's part of we don't even it doesn't even matter It doesn't even have a name if I remember right I mean that as far as I like who know I I don't know right now, but oh the child That's but they're just calling it the child on the products that sucks because

The thing is is the internet meme name and the name that people would type in to go buy the thing is Not the official name and it would send people potentially down the wrong thought process Yeah, well, so the internet but the internet doesn't care about that. Who cares and but there's money on the line So I'm sure if you go type that word in at any Disney comm search box It'll just happen to pull up the child But it is not officially known as baby Yoda anywhere because that's not okay whatever the point the point is is simple and and simple is good and

Simple works and in many cases like it's what Anyone who does like side stories, especially if the world like Star Wars where it's so massive Like Gendy realized this yeah, right telling a small short story that focuses on the thing the task at hand Excuse me, and you can infer the rest. Yeah is the tightest ship you can run totally, you know least room for error and This is exactly what that does. I find it interesting that like I Feel like video games almost got here first before movies for once and I remember back in the aughts people going Really don't need every game to save the earth

You know like yeah, not every JRPG in particular Yeah, needs to be because I remember Persona 4 came out and it's like you're you're shitty Boonie town yeah, and that's it and then and one murderer, but yeah But but then but then but then you know still the shitty Boonie town Was Spider-Man 2 point yeah, but like Just it's okay. Did you see that article about Ludo narrative dissonance? Which one there's a million shit zillion of them From fucking Naughty Dog. No what Naughty Dog put out one So it was it was it was something that came out where they're talking about how

Drake is Anyways, this is a new article or the old one. I don't I someone linked it to me as a new thing. Okay, so I thought yeah, Drake kills like shit zillion people. Yeah, and Fucking nightmarish and that and that has no effect on like his demeanor or character in any way It should be like a warped husk of a person So like he has tasks that the story puts in front of him, but he also has video game Quests yeah to accomplish which include shooting 100 people before getting to that door Tomb Raider no to Tomb Raider is the worst ever

Tomb Raider You murder at least 500 people before you get off that island when when Tomb Raider came out Do we have the podcast when Tomb Raider came out probably because I remember talking to you guys about it and it's like Tomb Raider makes this massive big fucking deal about killing the deer Right and then the first human murder by Lara Croft and it's it's like it's in response to like a possible sexual assault And it's very dramatic and it's traumatic and it's horrible And then you kill the guy and she's like almost trying not to throw up

And then you pick up a handgun and then you point it at a guy and you shoot him and you get a 10 XP bonus for headshot Yeah, and it's it is the like yeah, I felt I almost like I felt like Leaning back just going what you failed. Yeah, every part of this failed and what it was trying to accomplish Yeah, and then I and then I Remember immediately like yeah, there's a lot. I disgusted this way back then and So there might have been a lot of people that weren't around for it but like I got mad at that game for Not doing what I thought it's promise almost what it could have been which is like you're stuck on an island

There's some some of the inhabitants are fucking crazy Yeah, and you've got some friends and you're trying to get out of there and what I wanted and what I thought would be interesting really would have been a Scenario that is if you think of and it's funny Naughty Dog because think of the last of us Yeah, you know when you go to that one. I forgot his name. Is it bill? I think his town Dave or the guy who like sets up a whole Town I feel I feel like it's bill feel like you're right and it's all it's all his zone It's his area. Yeah, imagine an island where the areas of the forest were set up like for individuals like six people 16 people right your robot masters all have their corner of the island

Yeah, set up for traps to keep people out and to catch their own food and do what they got to do and all of that bill section I just thought like man, right if there if you knew the name of every crazy person trying to get you on this island Right you and you made it so that the pursuit and the eventual stopping of the threat Yeah was a bigger deal right and I'm not saying you need a bunch of mr. X's Yeah, but I am saying that like a realistic number of people that were resilient Yeah in such a way that you could stop them in a bunch of different ways that weren't necessarily lethal now if this was a video Essay this would be the part where you go But and then you hard cut to like Lara coming out of the river of blood with an AK now

I have a machine gun and just mowing down like a hundred guys in a single sequence and just going like Shanty town it reads like a joke. Yeah, it reads like especially the interviews where they're like Oh, you protect her because it's so traumatic to kill another person and it's like Okay, I I don't believe you I want Someone and I know like this is something I'd never be able to do But I I have no problem putting it out there because this was something this is an idea that I sat and thought about for a while and You know it is something that should happen is a game like the ones we're discussing a last of us uncharted or

Tomb Raider or anything like that where like There you're not it doesn't require you having a shootout with a hundred people Yeah, it had required it requires you like getting away from a persistent 10. You know what? This conversation always makes me it's gonna make me think about it for a long long time is that death stranding Fucking pushes the needle so hard in the other direction of like Killing another person is the most impactful fucked-up thing that could ever happen to you in your entire life You should probably not do it human life is sacred. It's a big. It's a big deal

Take it seriously and here's another incentive to not do it right and Almost every other game is like yo shoot that guy that dude's a pussy It's so ridiculous like like The game has ragdoll tech in it for you to appreciate the dynamic body collapses Because there are so many body collapses that you would start to recognize the same one over and over again You know like you would you know you want to have that guy go flying off that ledge and hit that don't want the player to become Numb to the slaughter. No. No, so maybe to spice it up make the body make the body fall dynamic You know it really

Really should like it would be so interesting It would be so interesting where you could have something work that way, you know And if anything it would be a bigger deal upon accomplishing what you needed to do But you know and it would also make the persistence like that much more annoying because fucking Fred won't let up Geez man Fred's really he's going for it and you shot him in the leg But you didn't have you know or I don't know you know what I mean or like you put barriers in the way You're running away. Maybe you don't have a gun. Maybe maybe having a gun Creates the situation where you have to kill people with that gun, you know, maybe there's a different way of handling it

but like How many times do I have to taste Fred and Fucking jump a jump away before he fucking gets it's fucking goofballs that the closest thing that To ever happen to what you're describing is like mr. X and emits. Yeah, and then the one time are not the one time but like We whenever a movie then adopts what is normal video game ishness like John Wick or Rambo Yeah, you notice it and go oh man this thing though the body count in this action movie is insane And it's like that I like let's get a YouTube compilation of all the murder like yeah But does John Wick even come close to Nathan Drake?

No, if you put all three movies together Oh, so that you know like I think the one because the article you're talking about is ancient Like it's a came out around like uncharted 3s release if I remember but it's still like applicable because nothing changed and I think the funniest thing is like who's Nathan Drake supposed to be Nathan Drake supposed to be Indiana Jones like flat out, right? Okay, let me think in Indiana Jones. He shoots that guy with the sword He kicks two guys into the crocodiles He throws that Nazi tank guy into the into the plane and he throws that other guy under the truck and then the guys get killed by the Ark of the Covenant and then

Uh He fud the guy drinks from the grail, right? What's the body count on all three indie movies combined like? 16 20 Top like tops. Yeah, because if you showed him like picking up an m60 Or rather an mc42 and just going down the line you'd be like oh my god Indy's a fucking bloodthirsty monster the article I'm discussing is the last of us director Bruce Strangley on

Ludo narrative dissonance and it was published on January 7th. Oh, so it's brand new Jesus Wow You know that's crazy you can go read the discussion But yeah, it's it definitely is something that like it bugs me because it's like it is There is a solved problem of gameplay, which is create targets and then put challenges to We've been doing it a lot stopping those targets like proficient at it. Yeah, it was a It was a 2004 bar that was set, you know by like PlayStation 2 era Times and we haven't really moved on since then and it would be like like I said like I would like and a reimagining of that, you know Um

Desk training is really cool. That's a what that's pretty good. It is pretty cool I've done a fuck ton of non-progress grinding in that It hit you didn't it there's the I was talking to you over the weekend and I was somebody I was talking to somebody else about desk training and I turned to you and went Did you get the zip lines yet? And you went I just got those zip lines and I went okay and now now like Zip line second guessing. Yeah, oh, oh is There is everywhere. There is a clip somebody sent me of my stream that is five minutes of

Me just swearing and going fuck fuck you fuck you How could you do this as I walk almost a kilometer sideways? Trying to figure out the exact angle to connect it at exactly 300 meters while holding it out Yeah, like I actually like I build Three PCC level twos. Yeah for every one. I want to drop because I know I might erase it and move it elsewhere If the further location becomes inefficient, it's right So you create the next part of the chain, but then the third step is like, oh, it's bad for the second step So time to remake those two just the only advice that works is get them on the highest

Highest points you can possibly do and with as little surrounding. Yep. That's all you can do, you know, and I eventually I Definitely understood that it's like these are not supposed to be ski lifts That all Take you at on like an alternate back path But if the artery and vein analogy is really the best way to do yeah It's like use the road to do most of the work And then you get the tip of the final bit of road and then you go west to east over that mountain hit the vein

And then and then go yeah, yeah But then if you get enough bandwidth you can just replace all Video game with zipline. Yeah, they they they use a lot. They do they use a lot So the only way to fully max out your zipline network is to max out everybody and then Mm-hmm. See I mean like for example like going from South not up to this this the The weather station is a no-brainer. Yeah, right weather station sucks right but

To go a little bit further down and then just setting up so that you can zip over to the farm Takes quite a few. Yeah, but then you can go from the farm to the retired prepper okay over to the Archaeologist, but what if you wanted to go north from the weather station to the first prepper and then the first prepper can hit the fucking Cult lady. Okay. Well, I'm not there, but what I mean is like they have interspersed the locations Yeah, just enough so that every path will have a midway point We'll have a split that you go Oh, but I could totally like these and I'm and I'm and because I just got introduced to them

I am not seeing any network ones yet I'm seeing no server. I'm seeing mamas and I'm seeing mine and that's it the most nonsensical and frustrating part of the entirety of Death Stranding is Building your own zipline network and then realizing. Oh, there's one 200 meters away Cool, and then you know because they'll never build a line They'll only build like they'll only like one third of them will show up. Yeah in a line And then you'll get to it and you'll start to scream at the person who's not there Yeah, because they put it in a bad spot and you planned the approach to it

Only to discover that now I have to make one a hundred and two meters away Because you put it on the left side of the mountain. Yeah, and just the right side connects to four others. Yeah and it's like One and then you get that you get the point where even though those are free bandwidth You're just like I don't even care and you delete it delete it get out. It's free get out. Yeah, so That's what's happening in the death Okay, it's nuts and then Yeah, besides

Recommending Mandalorian and then put some more Death Stranding I Started and completed Celeste Over the break. So can I get an air quote? Explanation of what you mean by completed Celeste. I did the credits and Then I did the post credits level and then I did not do the second post credits level Okay, because that level can go fuck itself cuz I can't I Played Celeste for about four hours when it came out. It was like I'm really enjoying this Right up until I went off to the side of the map in the first level and found like a radio tower

Yeah, that it wanted me to jump in five directions in an order that was like a secret Oh, did you figure out the directions? No, I looked it up Okay, and then it gave me a B side and I'm like, what's this not a B side to give you a crit I give you a stronger crystal heart whatever and I'm like And then I went back in and was like, oh, there's a tape. What's the tape for the tapes for that's the B So an alternate real level. Yeah, and every part of my obsessive compulsive disorder just starts firing off See all you have to do. How do I you just have just play the a normal game going forward No, well then too bad for you. I I should mention

So do you remember how I played Mario Odyssey? No never got to New Donk City always got completed every star Yeah, yeah, okay, and you know what you discover. Mm-hmm a Lot of them are terrible sure like a shocking amount of them are like gimme's or like you talk to a guy or whatever And they're it's really frustrating and I don't I Don't know what mental lie. I have to tell myself to break that for Celeste played it You played it the bad way because me boy. I had no problem Me boys do bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, and there's the bonus levels that are fucked You should tell yourself that you will enjoy it if you don't play it this way

Because Celeste is pretty good. Yeah, I know and going through it in Like two sittings. It's not very long to get to the credits at least Go ahead. Yeah with her in like two or three sittings tops and You just like the the crystals are Like your stars and braid almost or your bonuses that they they mean something later but you don't you know have to worry about them immediately and then your Your b-sides are again just alternate. What are those strawberries for so?

Strawberries are nothing. What do you mean? They're nothing strawberries are nothing Then why are they there they're Collect them to show your friends how cool you are if you want to do an extra challenge But you don't have to collect strawberries at all then The radio tower was not a strawberry that was a crystal heart. Okay, sure But then why I don't understand the crystal hearts do something I don't understand why you would even put the strawberries in the game if they don't do anything. They're collectibles

Just for the sake of collectibles. Yes, and the loading screen specifically tells you that it says these Are not necessary. They don't do anything. There's no thing. There's no reward for them But they are there if you want the challenge of completing that hard section they made so some some areas of levels will have a side screen where you can go and Do an extra challenge. Yeah to get a strawberry if you feel like completing the strawberries, but it's just a collectible What's the point of a chivo? What is it? That's it. These are points And then it shows you that their points and then they show you the max the total number of points in the game

This is the number of strawberries in the game. If you want to go get all those points, you can go get them That's all it is. It's a chivo It's very understandable It doesn't require this much silence But then why not just put those levels in the in the In the game, I don't Because the game itself has a level of challenge that is lower than the strawberry challenges So, you know, if you want to just progress and find out what the next bit of story is which there's a story in Celeste

Is there? Yeah Yeah, there is and it's quite good. I liked it a lot Um, I honestly had no idea Did you did you hit the first like like threat of any kind? No, well other than spikes No, okay, because yeah, there totally is and it's a pretty good one. Like it's very Personal I think you are the first person to mention to me that Celeste has a story of any kind it. It's a very personal well done story that is Is

It's interesting it like it it does it does a lot of interesting things. Yeah, and And you go forward wanting to kind of find out where that's going, right and you meet characters and Like you have a whole fucking Journey like while you're platforming and And trying to figure stuff out. I Mean, do you remember how it starts? Yeah, you start with some cutscenes and you're running and then the bridge falls apart. Yeah, and then you meet an old woman. I Remember it's I remember I played it for four hours the day it came out

Okay, well in any case it has a very good story and that can be your reason for wanting to go forward in The levels without doing all the super hard shit You can just go forward to see what happens next and then that on its own is is rewarding You hit the credits and you get something very satisfying after you hit the credits. There's a follow-up level That takes place as an epilogue that you can go back and do that requires you to have gotten at least four of those Like many secret hearts you can get sure and then after that there is a double epilogue Which I haven't beaten because fuck that shit. It's just it's just fucked up that shit gets fucked. Okay, you know But it's less is fantastic. And yeah, now I know I'm late to the party on it, but I really enjoyed

The progression of challenge in it. I thought it was handled very well. I really enjoyed the like Mechanic introduction because every time a new mechanic is introduced There's a pretty there's a there's a reason for it, you know, and And it's a story-supported reason that's that's pretty interesting and then it out and then like because you have Like because you let's say you get a new a new mechanic to your to the way to the way you play the game The difficulty can now are you getting like new abilities or you got it? Yeah, you get a new thing because there's two ways that those usually do it is either you get a new thing or it's like you had this Variation, but you just didn't know how to you get it you get a thing and then whatever and then like the difficulty can go great

Now that you can do that we can throw this at you Which is you know like I mean the messenger does a good job of that Like there's these ways you handle that you you raise it accordingly, but yes Let's just a nice brief romp and I super obviously it's like again late to the party, but guess what? It's a good game. I recommend it like many people do And I enjoy the The the subject matter and discussions that the characters have You know, it's a it's a girl being introspective about her needing to climb this mountain

And she doesn't know why she needs to climb it, but she just feels the need to there's climb it Yep, and then she's trying to figure out herself That's it, you know Yeah, I would say go I'd say go take a look at that if you fucking Hit it at all the wrong angles from all the wrong places and somehow completely missed the forest for the trees and Just focus on getting to the next high point on the mountain Where you get your next day? It's a strand game

No, well, no, it's not I mean, but I just I don't understand like There's a there's a main thread and to the left and right of that are Just as much as the main thread it feels like like every direction I went I found like side rooms ahead a strawberry I didn't go anywhere and Strawberry room like mystery Rooms or whatever that I did were not immediately apparent what they were for or you just difficult to reach spots to get the tape So that radio tower is like the easiest possible one that you wouldn't you would find I promise you You will not trip into the others that simply, right?

The second one right after that requires you to exploit the shit out of a certain aspect of the game And then after that they get a lot more obfuscated. So Some of them are just hidden walls, but others are like, oh, I wouldn't have found that at all, right? So that one radio tower experience is a Misleading sense of like forking that you're getting from that map because the others are not like that And the strawberry rooms do continue to exist like that, but you'll often see it's just like yeah That's a strawberry room and then that's a B side When are you supposed to do the B sides because I was attempting them immediately after getting them

I didn't bother. I just went through the main story. I don't understand The B sides are called B sides, right? I see them as exactly that It's the alternate challenge level that the game gives you. I Mean playing any Mario game when I get like, you know playing galaxy when you get these like Alternative takes on the level or challenge things. It's like you can bang them out immediately You can but you don't have to you can just progress you do it the point of it being optional is you do it whenever you feel like it you know But for the most part like I went forward in the story as my priority and

Then I can go back and do the the forks later. You want to talk about the arteries in the veins? Then you ride the road to the end and then because you're allowed to you can scroll back to each one of these zip lines And then see where it goes You don't have to do the zip line come back and then continue on the road then take the next zip line come back and continue on the road You know this All right, so yes, you do So anyway, it's good I I think if you missed out on it like I did you should go check it out

I didn't miss out on it so much as played it for a one-off back Back a couple years ago and then just decided to pick it back up on switch because I was like, yeah I never I never I never found out Where that goes? I just remember I got as far as like meeting like Oh, I met I met a guy Theo there was a guy in the thing and they talked about all It was the most boring shit ever. Okay. Well, I I didn't understand where it was going Whether or not you you yeah, you you might you might not like it's it's tone, you know, I find it kind of charming But I don't know I don't know what to tell you about that

But I thought it was pretty fun. And yeah, I met Theo and that's where I stopped in the one-off. I think so Getting past that point was like, yeah, this is cool. I know and the challenges were we're good, you know There's one point Towards the end there's one stretch where it does Like there's a sprint required of you to make it past this final challenge and It's like it's trying to make a point about this challenge But it like it does that thing where like it goes like two rooms too far. Okay, where by the point you're like, okay

we get it that was hard and You're trying to make it like get away from you, you know, like the fucking Simpsons couch just keeps moving back type of thing And like and then the yeah, the goalposts move another two rooms back and you're like, I felt like that doing Did you ever did you do path of pain in the Hollow Knight? No, so path of pain Took me like multiple hours and every time you get to like a safe spot like a checkpoint area The net that like the you scroll like you walk for like a couple feet and the very first thing that you see it demands of you You're like, give me a break. Come on. Yeah, so the the double epilogue is exactly what I've just what is exactly that Yeah, the first room of the double epilogue is

Or or Shin epilogue. Yeah is like, oh go fuck yourself Really you want me to do this every time at the start. Yeah. Yeah, it's a it's a go fuck yourself Like amount of precision and you go, okay, got it established not for me right now Anyway That the family's a shit though Celeste is the shit. I Just wish I could play it like Super Meat Boy and literally go next level next level next level the next level next level You can't that's exactly what I know you can't because they're the I I what you described is what I did. Okay. I wish that it was literally a collection of levels

And Then when you beat the game you unlocked all the B sides Sorry your goblins are your goblins, but the game could be played however you want it to be played. I Hate when people say that I don't know what to tell you I can't stand that I don't know that is legitimately infuriating to me because that's it's the different play it any way you want It's like oh, so I have the freedom to play it badly But the part where but the problem is that it's not that you're like this is the wrong This is the inefficient way to play it or anything like that the problem is that you're like I'm getting out of the car

Like you're like you like It's not even like a matter of like, okay I could do it this way or I'm not gonna do it that way because it like you could still go through and do all the B sides and then do all the strawberries before moving to level two. You could do it that way. There's nothing stopping you It's there. It's possible. Oh the fact that it's like It makes it a lot longer and a lot more tea is a lot. It's like going I'd never got to see it. Are there any different zone like visually than that like kind of blue mountain area completely Okay, it changes

massively Every area every time she goes up a different step of the mountain the whole tile set becomes something completely different Every step of the way At one point you're inside a hotel All right, like it's it's completely different There's nothing stopping you but your OCD which God bless But you know all my favorite Design choices in a game ever was you ever play any of the Dead Space games? No, so you click in the left stick and

Isaac points his palm at the floor and a little laser beam comes off as palm and does like a little GPS coordinate towards your next objective and you get to you get to go to every single T intersection in the game and Click that left stick and it goes forward into the left and then you just go to the right And clear it out. Yeah, that's smart. I like that Here's another really important factor in the way Celeste was made that informs why they did it this way The game is very very much About like by the way

Here's a bunch of accessibility options, right? If there's anything that you need because Yeah, I saw that you can change your Your jump timing you can slow the game down Yeah, if you need to play it with one hand if you're want to like like you're like half coordinated like one of those bad Asses or if you're you know what I mean, or if there's anything that is like in the way that like you you know This is kind of like here. This might there's something really fucked up about that accessibility mode But it's there you can choose what you want on and off and like it's like we want you to still be able to enjoy the game So but follow me here. There is something like insidious about it because they give you all these options to like

Account for motor deficiencies or whatever the fuck, right? But if you ever improve to the point where you want to turn them off Your save file becomes permanently stamped With the fact that you turn them on at all In what like your save file when you turn on those accessibility options or change anything about the difficulty It puts a little stamp on on your save file in what Celeste Does it yes, it puts a red stamp. What are you talking about you can just go to the options and twig trick You can flick it on or off. It's an it's a it's a game option. You go to settings and you toggle it

What on earth are you talking about? All right? I'll do some research. Where'd that come from? Insidious You're creating a fucking wild narrative right now. What do you where did you get that from did you hear it? Game makers toolkit actually told you about that. I believe so. We'll tell it like I mean Don't just jump over to Google like talk to us about what you saw. I saw that once you turn it on You cannot turn it all the way off Yeah That is not the way it was presented when I booted the game up it

Was simply a toggle option that you could scroll to in the settings as One of the game options and the only difference is that it puts a small blue stamp of wings on your save file that says assist You cannot take it off your save file But is there no way to remove it yes, it does and here are people complaining and trying to find their save files to delete it Ah ha ha here's a tweet by one of the developers as of February 8th 2018 where they patched it to be able to turn that stamp off Because people were editing their save files on PC to remove it ha because the initial version If you turned on a sys mode it gave you a little stamp that said hey by the way and then it stays there

This person used to sys mode. Okay, so it is no longer the case. They got rid of it. Ah Okay Yeah, you're correct. That is weird. All right. Well, that's cuz that's like I remember Talking to people about that a million years ago And we like that seems fucked up that they give you all these options But I do whatever and then someone on the team was like make sure that It's not the real Good way to beat you know like

So I appreciate that they did change that though that changes a year old now. I look insane and I guess if Yeah, I mean maybe it like perhaps it's like it's like if you're I don't know claiming to have like an amazing world record time And I like listen right if you use save states to beat a Nintendo game Don't you ever tell yourself that you actually beat it? Because you didn't so Fucking moron So so like yeah, there's obviously if you're gonna sit down and do an AGD Q Right. Yeah, that's not quite the same thing, but

Anyway, but the point that that's that's That's off the point of what I was trying to say the point I was trying to say is that the game is very much about those features in terms of like not about those features it's about it is very generous and giving you those features and If I'm not mistaken it said there was a way to skip Certain oh really I think so I might be wrong, but I remember seeing a loading screen tip That that that sounded like there was a way to stop would you even do that with I'm not sure I didn't look into it

But I thought I saw a loading screen tip that up that talked that said something about it I didn't look further into it, right? But that kind of made me think of it as like, okay So, you know, this is a game that is going to get very very hard and certainly in some cases Yeah, if there might be accessibility problems in the way for certain people that are like, yeah, I don't want to get those strawberries Then that's fine, you know but It's all still there and it's just up to you to go get the strawberry if you want You know and then at the end, you know, the game can politely inform you that

You cheated yourself You gained nothing. Oh, man. Nothing was ventured and nothing was gained. That is like I Yeah, and then you go, oh the end question mark. Oh Anyway, I wish I'd beaten super me boy, but holy fuck does that game get insanely hard? It does it does you ever play Uh, you played cave story. I don't like his story. Oh god. It just doesn't click for me And I played a lot of it and just got like on your recommend I played it for like 12 hours or something and it was just like I don't think I'm having any fun at all

Okay, well the guns feel good. The platforming is nice and the world is cute Boss fights were fun And I like how small my character was on the screen. Okay. Well Anyway, I bring it up not to fucking Indulge in this shit, but to simply say that it has a hell in it. Oh, yeah, and hell is Hell is hell. Yeah, so Yeah, there's there's definitely Something that like there's still a distinction between

Like when a game point puts a like a fuck you challenge in front of you and like Mario maker slash Yari Comey, you know, it's like aggressively Yeah, like awful. Yeah to you. Yeah, but like but the fact that that came from another sinister fan Kind of makes it feel like okay, but they didn't officially expect me to do this though. Yeah, they're just asshole This was just an ass around there. Oh, yeah, someone some asshole in their living room is saying fuck you be what if you have to drive? This car over the thing and you're like really come on. So that and that's why it's like, okay, so fucking Undertale genocide right represents like one of the craziest Officially asked challenges. Yeah of a person like really really really

Really with the narrative reasoning that it's like we're actually telling you to stop and yeah, stop it bad Slap your hand away. I get it So that's good and then of what I played of it, it felt great This is pretty much my my main takeaway is that boy it felt good to jump around. Yep I got to champion and tepid What is that? Is that the top? Yeah, so that's that's when you enter you go from a one to champion rank Once you're in champion rank, you don't have a grade anymore. You just have your rank Okay, you know and you and like the top ten thousand, you know kind of have their positioning. So where you at? I jumped around

Um So there's two modes. There's a tournament that was going and then there's that I think the highest I got in the rankings was like two eight eight nine and I think That's pretty high and I think the highest I got in the tournament was 800. That's pretty high And

Then I fucking lost it. That was that was that that was the peak and then I fell from grace. That's all right Running that Nero running that Nero found a couple of different better improvements, of course as always as always and What is helping more than the tweaks to the cards is? Learning matchups and learning how to stop characters, right? Yeah, there are thorough very very very Clear ways to approach Everyone you fight and things you should and should not do like your strategy for fighting Ryu

when you see a Ryu, especially if he has Shinku Hadoken, which is I can just shoot seven damage at a card. Yeah, right? And blow it up. That's it Assume he's gonna use that a lot and he's gonna play assume He's gonna play a lot of cards that do instant damage as soon as they hit the board. So you want to basically Play second, right? So that that first damage thing doesn't hurt and then you also want to Put all your buffs on one card buff up one card like crazy and shield it like crazy So that he can't kill that card and then he's gonna have a hard time because this whole deck is about that, right?

Whereas that's the complete opposite of the way you want to fight Nurgigante or Wesker because they have the ability to just destroy a card. What's your stock of the total amount of cards right now? How many are there? No, like out of the total amount of cards you could ever have Yeah, how many of them would you say you currently own? Oh? I have no idea. I never looked because it's it's interesting to me to go like did you really get to a temporary rank three thousand or you know, whatever with Only seventeen percent of the cards. I only you know, I only care about my Character and deck right I don't care about so I've crafted a bunch of like green cards that I

Not my I need mm-hmm, but I don't at all Know about how many reds or purples or you know what I mean? Like I'm not looking at my morrigan No, that's not what I mean. I'm just like I'm wondering if there is a actual fucking wall that is like You are literally going to run into people that are just as good as you But have more cards so they have more options. I mean, maybe Hard to say I don't I don't know but I can't say that like if you look and you

You tweak and tweak and then you see an idea for a deck or an idea to play something up and you go I'm missing these two you can just reap You know with like there's ways to get the games gives you gives you a bunch of money by playing it by doing achievements by playing tournament mode Get your gas bunch of other shit. Daily's in yeah They have all those right and then you take all that and then you go buy a pack and then the pack gives you duplicates which you turn into Currency to make a new card, right? So Anyway, yeah, like I That I started working with like a hybrid of like this deck and like I used a couple black cards

Just to see what's up and I was like, oh, these are interesting. Okay, but the other thing I did, right? And this is the one time where I was like, yeah, okay I paid attention was I got I fought against it someone who was had such a weird crazy game plan Yeah, I couldn't understand what was happening. Yeah, so I then like replayed the fight Wrote down all the cards they used Recreated that deck and like what is this supposed to do and used it to figure out how it works All right, so I lab the deck basically and then I was like, this is nonsense It's like it's a stupid thing where like your whole game relies on hoping that you get lucky

In your first five cards, and if you don't you don't immediately and if you do you can keep going really strong All right, and it's what no one's gonna build for off meta decks Nonsense right that no one's gonna build a counter deck to this stupid shit super nonsensical Right because you're just you have a full-on. I don't know what the percentage is chance of getting five cards You cannot do anything with yeah, and then having to just give up and lose them five buff cards Yeah, yeah, no monster card nothing to play it's fucking, you know Or the only thing you can play is something that affects one of the enemy's cards And you hope the one that replaces it is something you can play like crazy

But I did that to understand what happens, you know, and I guess that's the labbing right? That's what that's what labbing in a card game looks like But yeah, I'm happy with that. I'm happy cracking that Champion rank and being like okay, I'm good enough to get there my understanding of this game is Far enough that I can do that and playing matchups like I said is a huge part of it but there's one thing that I don't like about how you have to win and it's one extremely important aspect where it's a card game and It's not turn-based as we know yeah play at the same time excuse me pleasant, but you have to do

Certain Certain things are timing based like you have to do certain plays where if my arrow is about to hit you and I know You're gonna have a what a half-second window to put something there to stop it. All right. I if I do like a super Right before that arrow touches you it makes you drop whatever card you were holding in your hand It means you can't play something and you can't play you have to get to rub your phone to get it back in place And it's you know, and it's not yeah a strategic move in The traditional turn-based sense if I slap the controller out of your hand if I slap It'll be really hard for you to to pick it back up and a hundred percent

That's exactly what it is Right because every time a big cutscene thing plays Everyone's cards drop back to the bottom and then you got to do them again and that is a real Viable thing you have to do right or in some cases because the idea of it like Being tricky is when I'm like, I'm about to hit you and you're like, I'm gonna not ignore that's a one point of damage Yeah, that's not a big threat. I don't care about that and then right before it touches I do something to make it a massive threat. Oh, no, right? And then you're like, oh, they weren't prepared to defend against that because it was only one point of damage

That's viable. It's normal. It's a part of the game But the version where you make people drop the controller is goofy fucking Good man because the turn-based nature like I gave tip in a shot and I don't get the the active nature of it I just it's not it doesn't click with me at all. Um, I want my turns I want my turns to and I get it There's a part of it too where it gives you you get like two free points every time it time stops You do the whole buff buff, yeah And the temptation to just keep using that is high

But like you have to really not over commit to the board, right? You have to really not just play Like tag tag tag tag tag with people because then that's how the last thing they do just fucks you completely and you have no Counter available, you know, so like restraining yourself is important too. But anyway There's a lot of situations where you know Someone will have a card that says like When the tyrant Tio whatever yeah dies it comes back in the newer buffer strong oh T103, right The super tyrant comes a super tyrant, right or when jury hits your player directly. She gets feng shui engine

Yeah, and your instinct is I don't want those to happen, right? So I'm going to use Mega man ceiling card that says your abilities no longer work You can just do regular damage and take regular damage and you go to put those down and then they'll go like yeah Well, I have a negate option. Yeah, you're like, oh, no, that was my only chance to do this because I don't have any other Ceiling cards, right? It's like don't do that instead. Just go like do something stupid like I'm gonna put a shield on my guy And then they're gonna go well then I'm going to buff my other guy Yeah, I remember when I back when I did play a hard stone if I ran like a I don't know what they're called, but a deck that has just a million units

Yeah, so they flood the deck with garbage and hope they blow like their most like their best spell on non-sense, right? Yeah, totally right or morrigan is gonna steal a card from you at some point and hope the card is garbage Give her three mediocre cards to pick from yeah instead of buffing one really good one Yeah, that's it, right like you do these I do these dumb buffs and then at the end I'll go Ah, now I'm gonna seal you. Mm-hmm, right or Kula. Can you Kula you catch whatever the fucking egg stealer is in Monster Hunter? Oh, Kulia Koo. Yeah, Kulia Koo. He seals anything right away. Oh, of course. He does That's great. That's what Kulia Koo does. Yeah, so you do that, right and ice morning can pick up a exploding rock And when he does the little, you know slam, it'll explode. Okay. Yeah fucking asshole

You know, so there's little little things like that where you just bait people and whatever into doing that I'm gonna buff this garbage card to make you steal it so that you don't know that I have an even better card That's better even unbuffed. Oh, it's itzy. It's itzy Wait, who might the easy I know it's easy. Yeah, Koo is the is the flash boy. Okay. Okay. Yeah, so that's the sealer Yeah, really? I think so. It shouldn't be. I don't know whatever. Anyway, it's one of the things one of them fucking birds Akuma just came out. Yeah, so I'm gonna go check that out in a little bit see what's up with that. What's the hot con deck? Oh, man oil as a Card buff mechanic would be fantastic. You go to steal my cards and they slip out of your hand

You physically have a harder time sliding your cards into place. Oh, that would be just awful But they're buffed. Yeah Tepin's fun I'll probably give it another shot. My problem is that I am the worst deck builder in the universe. I Was pretty bad at it too and then I read stuff So I went I had to do some reading Like coming off the Like and if you can beton pass to me for a moment coming off the celeste conversation in the teppen conversation

Like I've been playing a divinity 2 again I finally got back into it because I stopped because the definitive edition caught an ass to I was halfway through and I showed You the switchport when we're in the airport Switchports incredible by the way, it's got cross save and they integrated most of the mods as toggles So it's fucking nuts But like I was totally unable to get my foot into that game until I went to texture life and read Incredibly detailed and specific build guides on how to build characters because I

Would build a character like you remember what I said before it's like, oh you can play any way you want It's like to me. That's usually I have the freedom to completely ruin my character and Like when I tried to build a deck in Hearthstone I made like the worst decks known to man when I tried to Create an RPG character in divinity without like for knowledge or even looking up and be like, oh, I think like just the shittiest Oh, yeah, please to efficacy efficacy. I talked I talked about this like early on dude. My Virgil Credo Makoto. Yeah deck is

Useless it does nothing But it's cool though No, yeah, it doesn't work like it's it's frustrating. Yeah Mm-hmm. I Get it I put all of that character love like I said into the fact that I'm using Nero and I'm having fun Oh, and yeah, I really would love to be a like to get hooked on it Like you are because like all it's all the things that I like. Yeah, but I just don't

Get it Like and I'm afraid I don't get it like I said, I don't know how much like reading you're willing to do But I'm willing to do a fairly substantial amount of reading but unless it says build this deck at the end of it I mean, there's there's the QR code thing, right? Like people can take a picture of a QR code and make and then you can take that picture and it'll load in that deck Oh, okay So there's literally the ability to just like get a text dump that says paste this into your game and it'll make a deck Mm-hmm, but if you don't have those cards, then you have to make then you have to make your substitutions. Yes, and then

Hmm, you know go go fucking reap and play and reek and play and reap so But yeah, that's possible that's a possibility for you, you know and then getting familiar with those things Let's you get whatever you learn how to fight other people and so on and so on and so on But I like I think that's pretty much where I'm gonna be at is just like I'm content to hit champion every you know I'm just I'm just laughing. I'm like I'm thinking over the past couple months of the podcast and I'm like I Got in a hearthstone when I discovered an app that would build my deck for me I got in the League of Legends when I discovered an app that would build my character for me I was able to get back into divinity when I was able to find a guide on how to build my character down to every level up

And it's like I don't want to customize my character ever like in their abilities Then go look up someone's QR code or someone's pasted use this and then you can paste that I want characters to be locked in the game wants you to do that because it wants you to see a bunch of cards You don't have Hearthstone had it to the fucking nth degree because not only did you have like cards? That would be just flat Improvements. Yeah, there would also be like here's a guy rocking like half the shit He's throwing down on the deck is not just

Fancy but golden holographic too. Yeah, and it's better than your shit and you're like wow I An important thing too is I have a full understanding now of when I only lost because I was not given a good hand As opposed to I got beaten Yeah, like clean because like when you're doing your best and you have your all your ammo and you have all your tools But your tools lose you got outplayed when your tools are somewhere in your shuffle and you don't know where they are You did not get outplayed. You just got a bad shuffle I'll probably hit up on Twitter after after the podcast and be like I well

I I really enjoyed playing Hearthstone when I played it like the actual Putting cards down and play against people. So I very much enjoy it when I reverse engineered that crazy deck I was talking about earlier. Like I was impressed at the That the like the setup. Yeah, right because it consisted of basically Using Dalamadur. Yeah, right big ol snake monster, right? So played world enough to get to the rotten vale, right? Yeah, you did got to the rotten vale the rotten vale is a Dalamador. Oh You notice how it coils. Yeah, that's what that is. That's what it is a boss for you the big thing. Okay. So Dalamadur Like has a thing where like if you buff it it kills everything on the board

That's about right, but it has like 20 health and it does like one attack, right? It's it's the fucking laser beam, isn't it? Whatever just a fucking arrow hitting that thing has a fucking like shin Godzilla laser beam, okay? So what this guy does is basically like from the get-go He you you make it so that that card goes to the graveyard Mm-hmm, and then you have another card that makes whatever is in your graveyard Come back with like a buff on it. Okay. Yeah, right and then You can do that little thing that I said Which is like the kill every card thing and then it's used up and then you have another card

Which will destroy something and replace it with a fresh version So that's all it is the whole game is wall of super weak things that can refresh and kill whatever you play you know And a couple other things aspects to it, but yeah It was impressive to see the game plan That is completely unreliable, but you put he do you do you try I want my big card to do it Did something interesting, you know anyway, so I

Beat indivisible yesterday. All right, and I Went to change my stream title at some point yesterday because I'm streaming RE3 tomorrow and saw The what I believe to be the final area and was like is that indivisible? It was a really weird Moment seeing that was I platforming or fighting you you were platforming with some rainbow shit. Yeah, okay I was just like what the fuck is this? Well, you know, you know when you get to end game platforming

Yeah, you get your screw attack and you're not that I'm like literally like the location you were in and the colors on the screen What yeah, like I couldn't tell it was indivisible at first. Yeah That game ends honor. I like I like though the way it closes off I like the ending and I like the final sequence. I think they're pretty good It has some flaws certainly and Looking back on the whole story now. I can see what they were going for and and

like they achieve half of it, right, but There's some problems where Ajna becomes Unlikable I saw because I'd skim like some of the threads on the subreddit and a lot of it was people screaming at Ajna Ajna becomes unlikable as like like because it goes from more just like hot blood to being like like in Petuit not impetuous and pet petulant. Whatever. I forgot. I'm fucking the word. I describe the emotion childish. Oh, oh Right. Oh, oh That's not good. She goes to being really childish in in

In a couple of scenes where you are like, I wish I could make her not do this So like would you describe it as like actively stupid? Um, yeah, and and then afterwards like It's bad But like you're not getting an appropriate reaction from her. Mm-hmm And then there's friends that are so supportive that they're not pointing out those flaws. It's okay Sakura, you know he's pretty hot and This is a try force of no good because it's like

Like bad reasons to be impatient Not showing proper remorse and then yeah being supported by friends that are not really making you feel so Snake snake accidentally activates metal metal gear and instead of being like, oh damn it. He's like oh And everyone's like it's okay snake. You didn't know that it was gonna activate metal gear I'm gonna try to talk around it for anybody that wants to eventually play this game. Yeah, but like The We talked early on about you know, we talked early on about like like how the game starts off with like Dar

Yeah, this fucking asshole that you're stuck with and very much stuck with him and he's an asshole. Yeah. Yeah, so like that is a really like Dar is like an interesting He's the most interesting part of how things are set up in this game Because Okay, tune up maybe if you really I'm not gonna go too hard, but I'm gonna get ready I'd be correct on the timestamps this time our knives out seven minute thing went for ten I I

Picked the button on my on my I did it live Yeah, I pulled my phone out and like it counted down to seven and then this was no spoilers came because you Here's the here's the problem with that is that when you say like hey seven minutes from now And then we kept talking and then you're like I'll start it now people skip for the instant the first thing happens Oh, well, I'm like yeah Like if I'm gonna say now that being said, I don't think anybody cares that much about the story of invisible I mean some people do why but I don't want to I don't want to Get whatever but now this is all preamble. So yeah in any case, I'm just gonna say really quickly

So I'm about to spoil a little bit of a thing Okay, Dar is reverse Aris, okay in a very interesting way because he sets up what He sets up the same miss he the mistakes he makes as a character and the way he goes about like dealing with them afterwards is Basically what Ajna builds up to and does herself on a much grander scale. All right, but She shows way less remorse than he does and the party is Not letting her have it

They're not going the fuck they're being very supportive about her fuck-ups in these ways where you're like but you need to grow from this right and On top of that he is like it's like whereas Aris is kind of the person who Is connected to the end of the story. Yeah, but is sort of like Taken from you. Mm-hmm, right? Dar is the person who you are connected to the end of the story Dar is not but in he's thrust upon you. Yeah unwillingly Instead of being taken from you. He gives himself for you, right and makes the sacrifice

You know, so it's a invert inverted scenario in many ways That is that is really interesting because it sets the tone and template for everything Ajna goes on to do Mm-hmm, and then afterwards you just kind of think back to like Okay, how is he handling this situation or how would he have and the whole time you saw him being remorseful more Morseful and pennant about it. Yeah while we're being like man, fuck you asshole And then now that you're the exact same situation on a bigger scale. You're like, oh, you're so much worse. Yeah, that's right And what does work out? Hey, I have a spoiler warning. I don't think indivisible is very good. Okay, what does work out is that the

The place she lands at and how she handles the final confrontation is all like well done I liked it and I appreciate like the reasoning behind Like her existence and what it and why it matters and so on the big final conflict is cool Yeah, and it does a lot of and it does some fun mechanical stuff as well as you would hope for right at the end of a game With that system in place

There's a lot of there's some moments of like like woolly bait where it's just like, okay, yo, it's parry time Yeah, and I love those obviously And there's a big final platforming challenge. It's optional as well But you know, I look back and I think the moment that my brain checked out on that game story is when you jump when you destroy the the fucking generators to the ship and the ships and she jumps off. Yeah, you mentioned yeah, and Everyone's like well, I guess we're gonna die. What was your plan and the answer is I had no plan Let's just jump out and hopefully we don't die

Maybe we'll land on a bird and then you literally land on a bird and everything's fine and it's like Okay, I'm not now. This is This is dumb. This character is stupid and so basically like there's a there's a point where the final sequence begins where Like she handles things in a like mature way But like the thread that connects to that maturity is where things were rough and didn't create a complete escalator All right, you know, I feel I feel like I feel glad that like I was right that Ajna is stupid But I'm sad that

Cheese like I feel good about being like yeah, I was right to stop But I'd also feel bad like I wish the game was better again if you know, I think like the final sequence is strong It's it's yeah, but you have to play through the game to get there Which again, so there's the unfair as far as technical flaws goes at the end of the day, dude It's clear like it's clearly full of things that are not for you. So there's I'm not trying to sell this to you I'm just trying to describe it on the podcast, you know Yeah, but like the other thing I would I'd say is that towards the end of the game I did all the the characters personal side quests. They all they all have a they all have a personal side quest

and you know you in those you see some flaws like quest indicators not showing up on the map Right and that's pretty par for the course for crowdfunded shit and some vagueness in terms of like Interpreting your next steps, you know that was like Oh my god This becomes a slown some some back-and-forth fetching on the maps that become a slog and those fetch quests were annoying to do So those were the real like bogged down of the game And they also make you feel an empty world a lot more than you should

Because nothing ever comes back right? No, that's not true. Things do come back. Okay. There's a lot of areas where they're There's a lot of areas where things are empty. Yeah, okay, so Anyway, that that that ends up being a much bigger flaw that could be addressed with a patch But I don't know but anyway, I think it would have been better to do those personal side quests within the inner realm More so that it would be like less of like this back-and-forth trek fetch thing that would become like Okay, now take the take the bath modad to the to the thing and plant it and then water it and then after you pull it out You go back to the lady and then the lady says take it to the port now You go to the port and find the dealer and then the dealer takes it like, you know, like those things make it just a fucking word

bath modad make it Make it happen more in the inner realm as your internal village so to speak Yeah, and let your S ranks go up inside there, you know, like it's a smaller more contained thing where you can find everybody You need to so Yeah, you know, but but that that's what it is like it's like Scott it's got those those glaring flaws in the end You know when you get those final platforming abilities and it came just throw it throws you characters and platforming abilities Like fucking non-stop. It's it's insane

How much it just throws that shit at you where it's like if this is what you find fun in games joint party members and if you like party members combos and and Metroid traversal that continues strongly way through all the way up to the end But those I like all those things and I didn't like anything about indivisible, but those weak points are glaring I know and that's that's why I said I We've talked about it before yeah, I know but you said like if you like those things you you'll They're not good versions of those things. Okay. Well, I don't really know what to say then because I thought it was fun and You might not like it if you try it, but you might it has them. I Don't what do I don't know, you know, but I enjoyed how you got a better dash

I enjoyed how you get a third dash. I enjoyed how you get a super dash I enjoyed how you got a parry that then let you Do counters on the map and then at a certain point you get the ability to juggle and do Combos to enemies before you even start the fight Mm-hmm, so you if you can juggle them aggressively enough and do like a nice sequence So when Margaret's been doing all this time. Well, there was that one video, right? Is he doing those out of the fight or those are out of the fight? Okay, okay? Yeah, and like something I super loved was When you get a bunch of like you got a full Smash Brothers tool kit, you know

Where you get like a couple you have some tilt attacks on okay, that's to me. Okay, right? You have up down Neutral a and then you have your up be down be left be neutral be you know Like you have specials and normals and enough things on the map to do that You can combo the shit out of an enemy without activating the fight and kill it You know if you do it well enough, so I thought that stuff was fun. I enjoyed that part of it, too No, I don't think so So I had that scare this morning where I woke up like coughing and I just had some shit in my throat But I was like, oh god, please don't fucking get sick. Yeah

But that's where it's at lack towards that those side quests were fucking annoying at a point and Asuna gets big dummy. Okay, does she get dumber or it does she just stay dumb? Well, it's more like you assume that she's a certain type of like dense up front and then as she's presented with more Like conflicts you see that she doesn't have the tools to deal with them So like what if Korra never became depressed, so it's not even about I don't think she gets dumber I think you just see the tool kit she has to start with as it gets exposed to more problems Okay, and her problem solving is limited very limited, but you have a large party of people who can handle it. Yeah, you know Lana like some of those supporting characters are fucking like great and

You do really wish that some of them got more play You wish that some of them got like more than the side quest. I mean shit man, you ever play ever play sweet Coden There's characters didn't matter and characters that there's a lot. There's a lot, you know But yeah, that's that's that's that you know, I remember there's a fucking character in Valkyrie You remember Valkyrie Chronicles? There's a character that was popular enough that she got her own DLC Despite being one out of like 80 cast members because she was the one with the pigtails So she got a little DLC adventure

Yeah, anyway, that's I think That's that's where that's at and that's finally one and done in the books for the the stream to LP format and Is that the first no, no, you didn't start it on stream, right? You started it off. I forget because I don't I Think it's dead dead rise. Jesus. Oh, no, I did start it off I did yeah, it's just raining the first one of the new format that we started lot Maybe I don't you know what now. I've now my memories all fucked up and I don't know now. I don't remember How'd you like doing it like that? I

Think it I think it I've gotten used to it and I enjoy it and people show up and enjoy it as well Now you're are you like adamantly pretending people aren't there or like pretty much, okay? You're maintaining the sanctity more than say we are here on this pocket. Yes, however, those who are there with me live can a like You know, they're saying shit or throwing shit out there Every time that I have to pause for a bathroom break or like to figure out a problem Like there they I can act like we can talk but like for the LP the LP still like a cold LP Yeah, you know and

Without acknowledging an audience so to speak and second anybody who's doing it that way like that just wants to get see the Progress ground floor then they can they have the ability to get that far, right? So if you want if you like the episodics, you can do it episodic And if you want to just scrape against the the the the most current moment then you can follow those, you know So yeah in giving people what they're looking for People have responded positively which makes me respond positively. Mm-hmm. So that's cool Hey, if you want to check that out where would ever over on woolly versus on twitch and that's woolly versus on Twitter

Sorry on on YouTube. Excuse me. That's all the same stupid shit and and my like Twitter started breaking my fucking bio So I just made it wait really? Yeah, cuz I used to I used I was exploiting it by putting multiple links in it Oh, and then it would count the HTTP colon slash slash towards the character count Oh fuck off So I deleted those to fit more in and it worked for a long time, but now it stopped working So I've just made a link tree so you can go check the link tree out click the button You know, we're gonna be playing more Death Stranding and we're gonna be doing get into fighting games with

This week is Rivals of Aether ultra fight that can't tattoo wait what sorry Jank steamfighter got it and Just say that yeah, that's some salt party on Saturday. All right should be a good time over on woolly versus and Mmm. Oh I actually do have one last thing to add and I don't know how to even talk about it. I got halfway through Witcher The the TV show. Yes That might be the weirdest adaptation I've ever seen because the games exist So I heard from some folks that he is

He is more dad than tired Henry Cavill is doing a really good job He's doing a really really good job as Geralt. I think that his performance as Geralt is a highlight Is he more dad than tired? He's pretty tired Okay, and he is Henry Cavill is like we I think we joked with it before he's like a fucking for real Like video game fiend. Yeah, every interview has had a new clip that people have posted around, right? So he is actually just straight up basing his performance off Doug cooks from the games

Okay, which is why it is so familiar. Okay, he's just doing it with a British accent instead of American accent. Okay The way that this show has come about is the is a really confusing mess of what? Okay, so when the games were made the the author was like video games are dumb and wanted nothing to do with them, right? So in terms of what is the deal with the Witcher stories the games one two and three are fan fiction Straight up, right? They're not legitimate however, they are with the vast majority of people who have know about the Witcher have actually encountered and They are slavish in their devotion to detail and character and whatnot and they are obsessed with nailing it, right? The show isn't

The show is a looser adaptation Because it's a TV show being made for a generalized audience Mm-hmm, but it is like given the thumbs up by the direct by the author Directly mm-hmm, and so I keep running into this this situation where Some characters are like Geralt himself are explicitly being taken from the game in their portrayal Mm-hmm others are completely different and I have to date enjoyed the game interpretation of those characters

to a one Every single one Except for maybe dandelion who is totally killing it as a as a dickhead Bard Who just fucks around like you probably heard the jingle like pay coin your Witcher toss coin your Witcher? It's so weird Because You'll get a character and the way just the way that they act and the way that they talk you go. That's wrong Says the guy who never read the books

mm-hmm and That's weird and Like you look at the the the girl who plays Serilla in the in the in the thing and the Character design in in the game in Witcher 3 and it's like the ages are all over the place the level of capability Of the character on display. I mean a wall over the place That's about to happen again Like not only is there a HBO the Lord of the Rings series about to drop but there's a golem game getting yeah And like every we're all about to go. That's not right according to the movies and not the books

I have not read. Yeah, so and it does happen. There's two bits that are like Really really weird the first is that the the the show has a bit which deals with lifting a curse off a princess, right? that was The the flashback of that was the first cutscene in Witcher 1 Like it was literally the first thing you saw when you booted the game, and then there was a End of the game side quest in one that was oh she got cursed again And it was a thin excuse to just recreate that moment

But because you were playing a game you got to like go through it in so much more detail then the Feeling very rushed version that you get in the show Which is I mean you probably get a shit zillion bunch of detail when you're reading it off a page And it just feels weird like it feels like I'm watching a shittier Live-action version of the intro cutscene to Witcher 1. Okay, okay, like it's fucking weird And then the other thing is that one of the major antagonists slash characters in the final Witcher 3 expansion blood and wine

was a adaptation of a short story that wasn't part of the main storyline and Was about a girl who got born under an eclipse, right? And all that storyline and you spend like a dozen hours in and around this character That same short story was adapted into another different character in the first episode of the show with an identical plot line And so the last thing from Witcher 3 is the first thing in this show Despite being chronologically the maximum distance apart and gives the feeling of did Geralt really go through the same exact thing twice No, because the game doesn't let it's a fucking mess. It's super weird

But it's your brain at fault. Yeah, and and the show doesn't give a fuck and the author does not give a fuck that you the game fan And it's so weird because it feels like the only people who gave a fuck were the people making the game Then let them then allow author man to enjoy as all the game fans have these weird moments And he can go ah ha ha. Yeah, fuck you my books Right mm-hmm. Okay It's it's just weird. I I imagine

when I think of like that like Type of protagonist and I haven't seen any of the of it so far, but like is he at all like Trevor in Castlevania? No Who would actually be he's just tired cuz Trevor's tired and Yeah, but he's also like kind of like emotionless a lot of the time, okay Okay, and yes, I'm aware. I'm very wrong guys. Don't worry about it But even my wrongness serves a purpose and that is it's fucking weird To have to go through the game series that goes so far into the future and that's the hard cat into your brain

Yeah, only to have the original stuff be loosely adapted And starting over It's fucking goofy. It's super weird Like and there are characters that I really really dislike What they are in the show as opposed to in the game Like there's a king full test who's just like a fucking asshole When you run into him in Witcher 1 and 2

Every interaction with him sucks because he's such a stuck-up piece of shit And in the show he's just kind of normal grumbly shitty king Nothing nothing interesting or dramatic I don't know if these exist, but most huge fan base media Do have wikis where they will break down the differences between characters. Yeah Uh, it would probably be interesting for you to go back and go

Here's the differences between the books the shows in the games because I know that like Game of Thrones had that in some cases Jojo has that in some cases where they just they go here's some stuff that each of these unique adaptations has that the others don't So that you can get an overall feel For what's different across the board And there's always I find that's the fascinating. There's always the possibility that I'm wrong and the people I talked to were wrong And that it's actually the book is actually Being like perfectly represented in the show

Okay, if that's the case then I'm glad that a subpar fantasy novel was able to make a bunch of good video games Because if the show is more accurate than the games then those books suck. Okay, like Straight up I Do think you're probably I do imagine that there's a bunch where The author like I said would be like if you played the game. This is gonna fuck with you. So yeah, let's go that way You know on purpose. Yeah, but apparently they it's so weird the way they talked I would looked up some cast stuff and like Henry Cavill is like, yeah, Doug cooks great

I love his performance, but everybody else on this like what's a video game? What's a video I never even heard of what a video game is. What are you talking about? What's a video game? Like it's because the rights and all the fucking shit That's also like if everyone on the staff was like Okay, go play these giant games and complete them and come back and what one of which is like a fucking nightmare Like a poland jank shit fest. Yeah I also the one other thing I heard about it was wow, okay, Google did not know how to do that The one other thing I heard about it was that like

Like the music has there's like a theme. There's some themes and people they're like they're okay But they got nothing on like wild hunt. Yeah Also, it's it's This is gonna sound Really weird the CG in the show is worse than the in-game graphics of the game I 100% understand what you mean. Yeah, it is. Yeah Like because of how they stand out it stands out as bad. Yeah, I totally understand and it's like Like everything about it as an adaptation is weird. It's just it feels weird

The official now feels bootleg Like I can't think of anything that has ever made me feel this way about like a proper like a fucking franchise. Well, maybe like The third series many years from now Will be the one well, no because The the the games exist in a state of canon

In which they changed one thing about the story to make the games work and that's gerald dies Okay, well and they went no, he doesn't he lived Okay, so but they're not gonna do that shit But but I I also being the fact that like which are now being in like this Much more large audience like a arena, you know play it's playing in the fucking netflix space now It's something where the guy who makes the witcher probably isn't done with the witcher Making him some money. Oh, he's probably fine now. Oh, he's fine, but he could he could always go for some more Yeah, so like if this series does well, why wouldn't they want another or perhaps even

Like is that why he decided that video games are okay now or it ends and then they make another one that is not a sequel Oh, god. What's it called? Uh, uh, a witcher legends You familiar with that branding? No star wars legends. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. That's or or gerald of riviera Rivera, what's what's max column jerry of the river? Yeah, you know, you could just do that Lara Croft and Tomb Raider. Yeah Bad I don't I don't think the show is particularly good. I think Henry Cavill is really good And I think the guy who plays dandelion is really good

But like I genuinely had more fun playing the monster hunter crossover witcher quest than watching the show I'm happy to hear that Henry Cavill is more than just superman He's good. I'm happy to hear that That clip that's going around of uh, him spitting out that beer is like a plus Acting by spitting you do a good job What's Not good is when you're just known as superman

And not a particularly good superman at that Uh, let's take some news. Okay, let's take some news But what's new before the new what's new is our sponsors. Oh, hey Well, are they new? No, okay They're new now They're new to this moment Who do we got this week? Well this week, uh the podcast Is sponsored by bombas because they bomb us. What up my socks are falling apart. Can you help me out? Look?

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I'm at the point now where I have so many pairs of socks in various states of quality That I do a load of laundry Before I come to the podcast or like I you know, you have the them in the dryer and I reach in and I go no not this one No, not this one No, I want one of the newer ones that has less holes in it. Don't Have this life become yours Don't let that happen Go with the lightweight poly cotton blend

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Go to bombas.com slash super beast today and get 20 off your first purchase. That's b o m b a s dot com Slash super beast for 20 off bombas.com slash super beast. Thanks bombas. Thank you Oh a couple things happened over and when we get that raid shadow legends money We not good enough for you raid shadow legends. I don't think we are oh man. I'm Didn't hear much about that. I've heard so much about raid shadow legends. I've seen ads Oh, man. Have I seen ads? It's about it though The dancing orc. Yeah

My favorite is like the youtube pre-roll on my phone. It's like all cg and i'm like, I don't think the mobile game looks like that That's one of the games That's one of the games that got me like fucking tilted. I don't think it looks like the lie marketing Uh, yeah, I think What was it? No, yeah in tecan. There's like um mobile game ad and it's like modern render of of uh, um Armor king my and then screenshot of like Tekken 2 armor king Try my favorite one is there's a mobile fucking piece of shit

That's like it looks like like way past deep down level like fighting a dragon And then you click on it and it's like it's like a bunch of fucking sub super nintendo garbage And you're like Mmm It is it is like it is an upsetting level of life That they're allowed to get away with what was that that fucking game where it was kingdoms of war or something? And they kept just having like tv super bowl ads with models showing up their titties

Oh, oh god, uh with short snager in it. Um, yeah, yeah, like they just had that famous Kate Upton show up and her tits were huge and they're like play this oh man And like that was their whole ad campaign was like look at these titties though, and it's super worked And it's always just it's always just like game of war. That's it. I don't know whatever whatever it's always Like for me, it's when you see the same game Advertised in the same like sequence of ads. Yeah, but it shows you the camera age of fire No, no, no, no, it's whatever. Um, anyway, so it shows you this thing where like the zombie game, for example It'll run five ads by you and like they're all completely different genres showing you completely different things

and you're just like like it And in some cases it's zipping from like amazingly rendered rts To amazingly rendered first person Yeah, then side scrolling platformer underneath build a shelter I want to pull the curtain back a little bit because there's part of this that is like the actual funniest thing in the world Which is i'm sure everyone's gone through their steam queue and gotten some very questionable recommendations of like you played an fps game then Huh, okay, so you'll love 3d hentai puzzler shooter

No But the double hilarious version of that is you know that uh that uh influencer website that i sent to you Or they send you keys the amount of fucking like sex game hentai trash Keys filling up that inbox That are Unstreamable That they're like stream it though

Like that are it's fucking hilarious And they're all the worst They're all literally that fucking game where you do the slide puzzle and then the shitty anime drawing shows the titty So are you supposed to like Not before i don't know after you play I think you're supposed to do one level a day Maybe one level every couple like are you supposed to keep if you're really into it Do you keep playing the game afterwards? Yeah, you just sit there. What's the intended pace? I don't know

I think the user path I think the intended pace is you look at the trailer and they go. I see it and you buy it But then you play you start it No, they don't care at this point you bought it and if you start it you eventually get to a point where you're like, okay And then stuff happens And then do you keep playing? Man Do you not just alt f4 immediately?

And then fucking and go back to whatever you can do to hide your shame. I don't get it. I don't know I don't know All right, so news this week sure um first story i'd say Here's a good feel good feel story. Oh, yeah feeling good You know and you have the um the stories where it's like, oh man, let's check out this fireman found a puppy in a tree Yeah, oh good. Who put it there and that's crazy. The whole the puppy usually climbs up The kitten climbs up. Yeah, puppy's climbing up. They can do that damn And here's here's the puppy getting rescued. This is here's your feel good story. All right. What do we got platinum games?

Announces partnership with 10 cent. All right. Yeah Allowing them to publish self publish while remaining independent This is a this is a fairly interesting story because Uh moods on this are actually fairly divided On the feel goodness Because we'll go ah 10 cent aren't they evil? I was yeah, and then the answer is Is 10 cent more evil? Then platinum

assuredly going broke in the next five years Any answer is probably not No, but platinum makes nothing but games that bomb China Yeah, and if it gets too bad then hey guess what it's not like it's a studio made entirely of people Who quit their last lucrative employment to go make an indie studio? But what happened about five years ago when that same sentence was uttered and it it's like Like they've managed to still make stuff that people hired them for and they're still kicking

Like let's be real old game Like old game industry Right, this company did have all the signs of something that should have shriveled up in past. Yeah, but it didn't yeah And they kept making good shit according to the news article the 10 cent doesn't have a controlling Like interest or anything like that, right? They're just kicking in some money to get some money back and money back out I'd probably so non disastrous as of yet. Yeah, but um I think I would hope at the very least that like the whispers in the industry about Yo, platinum makes good though. Yeah

Is is has been keeping them afloat seeing as they've worked with all these Larger publishers on different projects. It's just sad that we now know that like bayonetta 3 was you know It's been delayed for so long so that they could remove all of the skeletons Um guns for hire as he said, but like You know, they're becoming reliable guns for hire. So Anyway, if there's always someone to keep them afloat Then we'll see if rodin's still in bayonetta But they also want to put their own shit out. They don't want to just do

Listen, it's really easy for us to be like, oh, I can't believe it the 10 cent influencing them I can't believe when it's like, yeah, I bet people at platinum would like some financial security of their company Yes, it's just a bummer that it had to be 10 cent. Well, it's always going to be 10 cent Yep, because 10 cent has the money. They well sci games has the money too Are they also what what are they? Where are they? I think you know what? I'm Before I throw out a wrong thing Because I have a games that I watched the video that was about the the sci games takeover of everything um, are they at and and

Oh, they're Japanese company is Japanese, but there's another Side of it. It's not it's not entirely Japanese DNA acquired a 24 stake in the studio in 2012 Um, is that isn't that who's doing the switch on lines? So Sci games is not just Japanese because um Or maybe hold on a second. Let's let's see. Let's see because they're part of a larger thing, right? There's a larger larger thing. That's um Say a cyber agent

Sci designation Sci this Sci games pictures sci games sci music sci sharp. There's a whole Thing that they have going on Uh, that is part of a much bigger Mm-hmm corporate blah So let's see here

Man Would you rather have 10 cent by it or disney? I'll take disney because 10 cent is closer to the suffering. Okay But disney is also subservient to china. Yes, but it's two degrees of separation instead of one degree of separation From the urgers who are like being caged up. No, i'm so Uh Game sure are important. They are aren't they? Totally a good thing to dedicate your life to

Shit Our entire lives are pointless woolly What are we doing? Uh, who cares you see that pc gamer review of ice born the stupidest fuck I guess them really is just mostly japanese. That might be my mistake then never mind. So um 10 cent platinum. That's what's going down We got um A fun little one so I we talked about blood a little bit earlier got a little a gameplay trailer dude Uh where you can see it. Did you look up that art style? I did. Yeah, so you can kind of see what was going on with it

it's uh It looks like the kind of game that reminds me of the effort that went into something like say Uh, uh cuphead. Yeah, but a totally different art style. Yes, and uh the artist who was there at magfest Uh, you know, we were talking about like I was I was kind of just going like this shit is fucking amazing. It's crazy and Like it's such good animation that you I'm worried about like how long the game could possibly be You know because it's really like Without reusing a ton of shit like it's got such strong

individual Uh, it's got freaking keyframes everywhere and it's got got like everything's moving and everything's alive and And it just looks right out of cartoon network Um fantastic. So bl ud Is the name of the game and um, you can check it out on exit 73 studios twitter. What's that smell? Yeah, it's blue And uh, it'll be done when it's ready That's the oh, yeah, okay

Looks looks real fun. I had a fun time. I played a demo with uh One stage in a boss fight and uh, it it was it was good. It was good I The girl uh that you play as reminds me a bit of mandy Yeah, there is a total like, um, uh, billy and mandy going on Uh another piece of interesting news

So I didn't know about this, but apparently there was a long lost unreleased mega drive game of akira as in tetsuo canada akira And uh, they have not only uncovered this prototype but They have released it

And there's a full-on hour of game footage of This crazy akira game that is uh super unfinished it's Ambitious to say the least because well how appropriate When you look at like holy shit when you look at like, um

the The way it looks for example, like there's holy shit. That looks incredible. There's a lot going on for the mega drive Uh, and so I'm gonna look out. There's a trail. There's some footage here. Yeah, you can go check out the video is called akira prototype unreleased mega drive game. I've got to put a link to it in the docket so Right off the bat. Obviously you can expect motorcycle racing style Um f1 race, whatever, you know outrun look at outrun looking thing and then you're driving But then you go a little bit further in

Um, and besides, you know playing as canada and whatnot. Yeah, then you get to switch over to first person as you walk around as The uh tetsuo that's getting used to his powers. Jesus christ and you have a full-on first person fucking uh Game to explore and there's some crazy shit where the most mind-blowing shit ever You're throwing sideballs out at doctors and nurses. Oh, what the fuck? It's a different game again And you're exploding them

And then there's these little cut scenes Where where like look at the effort they put work into having Holy christ like animated cut scenes. There's no way you would have been able to fit this on a cart And now it's a side fucking scroller And you are looks like flashback playing as yeah playing as uh canada doing like flashback walking And and like rotoscopes shit. Mm-hmm Right and then you got into fighting the enemy and all that shit And like this is the first like three levels by the way

We went from a biking game to a first person To a now a side scroller in the flashback style. So just taking all of these in Uh, and then you go further forward And then you get more cut scenes of the sewers and then another first person right you get more cut scenes you get uh, uh, Like a bunch of shit Um, let's see. Where was it? Where was it? Here we go. Now we are in a new type of game Oh, man, it's like metal warriors the fourth genre where you're in the little flying gunship Together and it's a completely different style of sprite. There's no way just running off fucking megadrive, right?

there's there's literally like Like parallax style scaling going on on the sprites because the environment looks 3d Jesus christ right and you're like, okay, that's four types of games What is happening and you go further forward and now the game is isometric And you're walking down the street with tetsuo in a full-on isometric view Fighting soldiers as you have your cape and your powers

Like you're like, what the fuck are they going like it's this game is like six games in one It's absolutely out of the fucking it's it's not this nonsense and it is no reason it is no surprise they got cancelled But go look at this video for ambitious Nonsense because they tried to make this thing like five or six different games, you know And somebody looked at that and said how much money would you need to make this and they went too much? Well, each individual genre was like a whole game a whole game Yeah, shut it down

Like the effort to make something five times Like back then Games would take that one side scroller and fucking repeat it till you got sick of it Yeah, and that would be the game they sold and here this fucking demo They they made five games, you know, so that's too many. Yeah, too many games So akira, um, you can check that footage out. It's it's it's ridiculous Ridiculous and does not look like something from 1993, but it was It was really to be released in 95 and like yeah, fuck off. That was never gonna happen

It's wild. Well, they want to talk about this fucking garbo iceborn review. It's the funniest thing in the world What's going on? You know, you remember when monster hunter world came out there was that review I don't even remember what website it was that was like this game is a fucking nonsense Cover up of the evils of colonialism and invading the new world and killing these monsters. I did not you don't you remember that? Well, let me tell you some shit Hidden into this more than half of the iceborn review for pc gamer is shit like

Iceborn makes it hard to ignore with cutscene after cutscene featuring our cast of hunters tackle their nature by tackle I mean claimed to be part of the ecosystem that by killing these monsters are somehow preserving things It's a preposterous notion and yet the characters discuss it suggests capcom or at least aware of the dissonance in its story Yet rather than actually address this or just go on on ignore this aspect of the world building Iceborn lands on an awkward middle ground drawing attention to the moral bankruptcy of its characters with a nonsense lie If these games are good, it's it's like the whole review is ranting and raving about how it's actually evil to hunt monsters And how it's like and like there's a photo game in it And it's really nice to imagine what a cool kind game

Monster hunter would be if you didn't have to hunt the monsters And it's insane. It is actually insane What the fuck are you looking at this shit? Yeah Like it is like written by an insane person This is not a joke It's not a joke There was a very similar review that came out alongside vanilla monster hunter world by a different outlet and it's like Was that the oh wait, was that the one where the person didn't know that it was about preservation?

Yeah, and this one is like this person does if you could control f the for the word capture By the way, it never appears in this review Because of course the best way to get the best rewards is not to kill monsters. In fact, it's to capture them right I mean Like it is it is like normally like normally I would be passed like pointing at shitty game reviews and being like Ha ha bad review But this one is so either laughably stupid or intentionally stupid

You can hand wave the preservation detail as easily as you can hand wave Quiet's photosynthesis. Yeah But in the end who gives a fuck it feel it feels like um You know, it feels like it feels like if somebody wrote a review about like the evils of dog fighting And why the new pokemon game is like teaching your kids children the wrong lessons like pita. Yes Okay Well, anyway, um, did you know that poaching and monster hunter is a punishable by death crime That's not in the game, but it is in the art book

Yeah, god forbid. I definitely I definitely have like moments in games where like if something happens It's like Particularly like whoa, like, you know, like the Jurassic world bit we keep talking about Yeah, you know when things like that if that happens in a game and we're kind of just like whoa, what the fuck like there's There's these moments that you feel weird about certainly. I mean watching that that In that akira footage There's moments where you're going through the lab Yeah, and you're escaping as tetsuo

And like a bunch of nurses are just walking around get blown up and you're disintegrating them get blown up You are just you're 100 percent evaporating them and it's like, holy. What if you could hug an anginath instead? Yeah, so you don't have to you know, you don't have to hit that with your sword So I do understand Feeling weird about the the the narrative take that a game can go down Depending on whatever But in this But in this particular instance

It's a very strange take It's a very I'm trying to be as I'm trying to I'm trying to level To understand this take I'm having a hard time doing it, but then again, I haven't read the whole thing I'm just hearing what you're saying and I'm scanning over there's a lot of stupid shit in there. Okay. It's fucking hilarious It's fucking hilarious. It seems pretty silly The the the tagline for the review a thrilling new adventure, but it's not just the world that's

What the fuck It's so stupid It's so dumb Yeah As this who's this is Sam green. Yeah, is that uh I've never heard of this person. I was gonna say is this is this like Usually what usually when you yeah, usually when you you see this shit you type in the author's name I just clicked on it. You get a million bad takes. I just clicked on it

Um, Sam Greer. Oh, excuse me. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know Well, anyway The next bit is About Christian Bale Apparently in talks to potentially join Thor blood and thunder Love and thunder. Excuse me What is blood and thunder?

It's a movie Okay, man, this person has written a total of like 10 articles for pc gamer over the past three years Uh Christian Bale potentially joining the cast of Thor love and thunder and Holy fuck based on nothing other than Christian Bale has an angular face. I think he'd be beta ray bale There is no other way to play this. There's no other reason beta ray bale. Thank you guy in the chat Everyone the year it's not you know Everyone thought the same thing immediately and it was the next sentence out of my mouth that you jumped in front of yeah

That's the only thing I can think of who cares. Give me the horse man. Please make him beta ray bale I want Christian Bale to say he played a horse superhero. Yes Alternatively Sarah Jessica Parker could come in But I'm Hey Christian Bale, would you put on this really bad plastic horse mask to be part of the mcu? Oh, dude, I hope it's like a fucking Halloween mask like the wobbly nose kind Yeah, like not like a good like cg man. I want it to just look like garbage

But you get mcu money. Yeah, you want it? Yeah, you do it Everyone would do it. Everyone wants in on that mcu Wobbly rubber halloween horse mask With the nose all bent And when he breathes you can kind of see the plastic And like when they have an emotional moment and someone touches his face I want the nose to bend downward Yeah

And I want I want the Thor hammer that uses or whatever to be like a children's toy With like a button that lights it up storm bringer. I don't care Do it Could we get like a mcu movie that's just like made on like a hundred thousand dollars And just looks like a college film, but it's part of the mcu. Yeah, it's called the tv shows a Was it the boy I guess said when they asked him if he was gonna come back for anything? Is like they ain't gonna disney plus me

Yeah, that's fucking hilarious. Yeah, he's good. He's good Anyway The Elden Ring What about it will be act The Taipei game show on february 6th But it will not be playable then shut up. It's gonna be a video It's gonna be cg video. I bet so in other words a trailer for

The Elden Ring will be coming out on february 6th. I love these countdowns to countdowns It's my favorite I mean one of the best countdowns to a countdown is the next story Oh, yeah, the countdown to mother 4 is now the countdown to oddity Can we get a record scratch in here? Have you seen the trailer for this thing? I have seen a little bit, but not the trailer looks incredible Who needs mother 3 in english? Not these fans

They're not nintendo um mother 4 started as Uh a hyper ambitious fan project that's been going on in the works for like probably a decade now by the way, i'm listening to you. I'm just also watching the trailer and uh This was originally Yeah, something that I think it was based on the idea that uh the creator of of mother of the earthbound series Said something that people didn't know how to interpret too well

But it was something to the effect of the next game should be made by someone else Huh, right and some intrepid young fans said okay And some people took that took his wording to mean like someone else at nintendo Yeah, some took it to mean the fans like someone else completely And uh and that resulted in this really crazy amazing looking project, which was known as mother 4 I brought it up in my video PSA to indie game creators

where uh, they basically decided at some point that Let's just make this its own thing. Yep, and that was probably the wisest decision because it looks so incredible This looks hot. It looks so fucking good that the idea that this would have been oh Wow, this animation is hot the idea that this game mother 4 known as now oddity Would have come out and that the people that made this for a decade Would not be allowed to make any money for their efforts is Fucking sad. Yo, this looks hot if they had to just put this out because it was mother 4 and then like well

We are not allowed to sell it Not allowed to really make merch of it can't do anything with it legally That would have been fucking terrible, but now is its own thing to change three names Now is its own fight. They can re They can reap all of the rewards for their work Um Someone's calling it overtail And yeah, I can definitely get that from that. Yeah from dis overtail indeed oddity

Go watch the trailer for this. Oh, I thought that this name change would have been associated with a real release date No, it'll be done when it's ready. Oh, well, that's disappointing. It'll be ready when I want it It looks fantastic. I wish they had not said anything so that I could just have it when it existed Well, if you did you I guess you didn't check it out as mother for them I sure as fuck didn't okay. This is the first I've ever heard of it. Oh, so Knowing that it had been in development for so long and there's a new hot trailer. I'm like, cool. I'll go download it when I get Well, it's closer to ready now that it ever has obviously. Yeah um

And your characters are wearing things that are reminiscent of striped shirts are popular. Yep reminiscent of that that mother of undertale Reminiscent of that undertale exactly totally it's frisk. It's Wouldn't this technically be mother five considering what a close link undertale has to Like the earthbound no delta root is undertale five white No delta. Yeah. Yeah, and then this would be six. Yeah Cheese guys get it together with your with your earthbound homages earthbound franchise crazy

This is this is the new trilogy Fuck that's weird. That's weird This is mother six Yeah Yeah, well we started making it way before Yeah, but undertale delta room came out. Yeah, so at least the first part of delta room. Yeah You think delta room is going to be like super gigantic considering how long that chapter was not at all I think it's probably going to be like two other parts. Oh

I Imagine I think it'll be thirty five hundred hours. I think toby will just make another two mini mini chapters And uh, you know If they're good, they're good. No, that's cool Because you don't want to over commit to like any one idea when like you have if you have a lot of cool things you want to try Yeah, but toby fox is insane and has making delta room back in like 2013 Fair enough. So who knows what he'll make next That screenshot he put up of like the script for delta room

Predating like the undertale Kickstarter is the most like difficult to understand timeline. I can think of Put it this way. It's like he's been a fan of of of home Of earthbound and home stuck for a very long time. Yes, so there's a lot of home stuck fan fiction Yeah on that table. There is What's the deal home stuck? All right, I don't I don't care There's people with horns and they're gray. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes they're red I warned you about stairs. One of them has shades. I think so

Um, they ruin hotels There's a there's a panel with a character that has glasses that's stuck in a room But you can click on things. So it's kind of like a comic, but you can click on things. I don't know Is that like Saturday morning breakfast cereals like red button to get the extra joke? Not too sure I got so pissed off when I found out about that red button No, what you need to know The ultimate version of that and it's happened to me in like three different webcomics Is the uh, the mouse over. Yeah alt text the xkcd one was really bad the alt text because

Um Like so I I didn't miss xkcds. Yeah, but with Saturday morning breakfast cereal I I found out about the red button like 1200 comics in yeah, and was like well. Yeah oglaf has that as well um, and it's like There's some funny fucking alt text jokes that you just completely slept on because you didn't know so upsetting Worse yet. What if you're on a phone? Get fucked. I guess Like webcomics predate phones or a view source and scroll through the source to find it be quiet

That's terrible. Yeah. Yeah Fucking god Uh Mother for oddity oddity now oddity forever a million years oddity Um, thanks morty Yeah, ness Hey, we've come a long way since the fan games being hey, I modded final fancy tactics to have snake in it Well, yeah, we just talked about undertale

Come a long way since then like we just finished talking about it. Yeah Was that called that mod journey of the five or whatever? Hey, you ever heard of dota? I have heard of dota. Yeah What is it a counter strike? I have heard of it. Yeah Real games are don't matter anymore So I had a I had a fairly extreme level of confusion a few weeks ago because I discovered the concept of because you know gta 5 is always really popular on twitch

Like it's always at the top. Sure. Like what multiplayer mode are people playing? Yeah, and and they're playing Role play I didn't know that you didn't know that either, huh? No They're hanging out in game in the lobbies with mods and pretending to be cops or drug dealers or on voice So sims second life VR chat shit. Yeah, and then that led to People trying to explain it to me like what it was and it's like pad. It's like gmod and I'm like the model poser The one people used to make their web comics. Yeah, and people

Apparently gmod has become So much more than that. Isn't gary's mod the thing that you used to make the 3d? I thought you would be oh no No, not anymore. It's not what else is what else is going on besides just posing 3d models and making jokes It's like it's like 3500 different games now Like real games that are super popular that you don't know about and I don't know about really. Yeah Oh, is this is this uh Is this on battlegrounds again. Yeah, it's it's pubg again

So in you so apparently trouble and terrorist town is just gmod Okay, so inside of gmod. Yeah, there are games now But but but can you are they other are those games like self contained? Things I don't know or do you have to run it? I inside of gmod. I All I know Hold on. I have never looked at gary's mod once Ever I thought gmod is like like what mothman used to like pose his warhammer 3d import

You know what gmod is to me gmod to me is fucking uh, it's a bunch of elizabeth porn Wait, what and it's wait. No, listen, and it's captain america Driving the invisible car gif. Yeah, that's that's that's gmod Wait, somebody said that when we went to rooster teeth, we played gmod games Is that what the game was deceit deceit was that it was that gmod? Oh source filmmaker I mixed up the two sfm

Okay, okay, so what's g what's gmod? Look what source filmmakers the porn Oh, no, that's really worrying You know when it's bad when you look at the chat and they go are you guys pretending? Is this a bit? And I'm like no no this is not a bit all right time here here here. Let me clear this Let me clear the air as much as possible Okay, listen listen. I need to clear this as clear like let's be as direct as we can be

I Do not and I don't I don't have I don't half-life. I haven't half-life Saw that first thing so anything that's a mod of that. I can't help you out. Yeah, all right um The source game is not a thing that I know anything about Much less the side mod thing that came from it It's a world entirely unknown to me that has only been referenced in people making funny little videos pictures The only time I ever saw footage of gmod running was a guy going look I can put a bunch of

Grenades in this bathtub And then if you let the physics go off the source engine makes the bathtub fly up like a rocket So gmod is the pre source engine version of making Whatever you want happen then in the in the half-life engine So what games do you guys play on gmod? But do you have to can you play them on their own or or like you download it? Do you have to like tabletop simulator? You got to run tabletop simulator and then load up

kingdom death monster Wait prop prop hunt and in trouble in terrorist town are gmod games But when someone says that like if I say that's an unreal engine game Yeah, you're gonna run the game and it's a game running on unreal engine But it's been compiled into its own game So do I click a double click on gmod and then load a mod and then that mod is its own game Or are you clicking a any x an executable that is loading up the game on its own? I don't know It's the same as tabletop. It's mods inside the game. Okay. I know what I know how tabletop simulator. Yeah, I know I've done that

Okay Yeah, okay. All right so Yeah, what crossover would I like nothing I play video games that come out? Why would this ever have crossed my desk? This thing because you were just like this started with like hey pat I'm like, oh, we've come a long way since mods. You're like, yeah, remember counter strike. Yeah, remember dota Yeah, like so you are you used to be familiar with this kind of thing

Sure, and I was gonna say that like the games that come out don't matter as much as the what people turn them into Yeah, good, but counter strike came out in a store Do you remember that? Yeah, I do eventually Yeah, and then league and all these things got packaged into a box or a download with its own stuff Yeah, this is Wow So wait, why are people still using the old half-life engine stuff if the source is everybody knows how to do it

I guess which is better is gmod better than sfm or is sfm is just a pornography program But which is apparently deprecated Apparently it is no longer actively supported on because mothman was trying to make porn or something and he got a new video card And it's not officially supported in sfm. Hold on. Can you make games with sfm? No, I don't think so. I think you just pose the pornography just opposing. Yeah, okay. Whereas gmod you can actually play it Yeah, got it. Okay. That makes sense gmod's more complicated Gmod is source. Oh, okay. Yeah, then I don't know So gmod is basically

Uh for making things besides just animations. Right got it. Okay, but um So, yeah, people are like pretending to be the Characters on the internet In the games and I don't get it. You know, it's You know, it's funny. What we have been Created in these worlds via googly garret for the longest time. Yeah, and have no Concept of understanding. We clearly don't know what he's doing. I don't know what googly garret is doing

None of this makes any sense Okay People are calling us boomers again Oh, no, Eli. Come on. Be nice to us. I don't care Eli. We We're talking about real video games that have that come out and have release dates and shit I am I am out. Fuck that I'm I am in over my head. I no longer understand what is being discussed And out of fear. I am exiting the conversation

I'm returning to the safe ground of a regular thing Well, it is released gmod has been a thing for longer than our careers in this industry That's probable. It came out in 2004 right out of high school. The length is not at all I'm not I'm not saying it is not important. I am just saying it has no overlap with my venn diagram. Okay There's no reason for a half-life mod to cross my desk. Is it even a half-life mod? What is it? I Is it a half-life two? It's a half-life two mod, right? Half-life the reason why the whole engine exists Yeah, then it's ostensibly. I assume

I don't know we've played gmod game. Yes. That's what you said 10 minutes ago people keep saying that But I don't know what game I played that was gmod if we went to rooster teeth and we played a gmod game Then we played a gmod game. I don't know whatever What am I supposed to say? Did I play it? I didn't see anyone open up a thing that said welcome to gmod load your game cry of fear was not a gmod Get out of here. Okay. You played them. Yeah, but cry of fear was a source game It's mugen. That's different. It's mugen. Okay Can't be

But I didn't load up gmod to play cry of fear. I just downloaded cry of fear Anor Londo was gmod That's crazy. You're a liar. Fuck you. It was ported. Well, then Hey, let's get back to real video games. You got any other news in there? Yeah, fuck things that don't come out Yeah, fuck not. Yeah, not real things that don't come out. Yeah, you know what real, you know, it's real What's that? What comes out? What the new the new alienware console? Oh, yeah, you've seen this thing I haven't seen it. Look, that's the new alienware console. Holy shit. Somebody's gonna get sued now. Hold on a minute Hold on a minute. There's a picture of the new alienware handheld device

That is and before You fucking aggressive. No, you need to stop and wait. I haven't even broken it down. This is a handheld console Okay, it's got four buttons on the side with a stick on the right side underneath the buttons and on the left side You got a d-pad with a stick above the d-pad. Yeah, okay All right now It has some features What is the features it's got the features include the ability to separate the controllers from the monitor All right and make the monitor a freestanding thing

Which they're separated controllers can then be used to play them individually like two separate controllers. Oh, wow Alienware Is simply getting into can you dock it to you can plug its hdmi into your television set crazy And aisha tyler was on stage to show everybody. Are you serious the tech of this new? Uh, what is it even called? It's called the switch the concept ufo get out the alienware concept ufo gonna be called the swatch So this is showing off at ces and you need to hold your fucking horses And not jump the gun too hard that is

I mean, we see a lot of stuff in this business about what Is that lady using a fucking xbox controller? Or is it a no, she's actually holding Uh, uh device that takes the two side controllers that you've disconnected shot out and puts them together to form a separated Control serious. Yeah, she that's not an xbox controller. That's the two separated controllers man sand held device alienwares lawyers got Super good at reading the fine print to get this thing out That that is that is legitimately crazy

The best part is that during this del experience ces presentation by alienware Where they introduce the concept ufo. Yeah They don't mention any other consoles as existing at any given point in terms of consoles all exist in a fucking A negative world in which only that console exists. No, they other consoles exist when you can dunk on them Yeah, when you can dunk on them like stadia dunks on other consoles in its advertising But you can't list and nothing exists unless it's dunkable. Yeah, if it's not dunkable. Well, what are you talking about? What's the xbox? I don't understand. Yeah Concept ufo new handheld coming at you soon

Very important detail about the way that the controllers disconnect. Yeah, they don't slide up or down They just kind of come off. Oh, that's you know what? I bet that's that was the core innovation that allowed this This product to come to fruition You know We talk a lot about how fucked up patents and copyright shit is Right. Yep. And like how obviously in the favor of like rights holders it is and how People shut down and wave their copy right around how it's the most fucked up shit ever But at the same time shit like this happens and you're like really

Fucking really This doesn't count Huh alienware Is now very confusing as a company to me because I thought they were folks making some powerful gaming laptops That for the most part People were like, yeah, that's a good gaming laptop. You gotta diversify your portfolio It feels so strange But to see this as a thing

But I don't think I'm going to assume the switch aid into the gaming laptop market then Well, this is not a real product you can buy. Not yet. It's not it might not ever be It's the concept. We don't know. It's a concept. You have us. Oh, man. So they're still working out the Oh, man Watch this never come out because they can't clear a patent hurdle Remember the part where you could plug a controller into your phone now and just play on apple Apparently that's been a thing for quite some time Uh that it was the update that specifically addressed your ability to can no no no

We talked about that. Yeah, I know but people people yell but apple arcade at the time Was not a thing and this the two the one two of oh, this is shown off at c. Yes. Oh, yeah That's not gonna other controllers could be connected that were dedicated for that purpose I'm I'm specifically talking about the xbox and playstation controllers for apple arcade. So anyway, um That's wild. Yeah, that's fucking wild. But there it is. That's shit Well, I do disagree with one thing You've swapped over to the story with like, you know, what's gonna come out This and I'm like, I don't think it's gonna come out

If you just kind of like, you know what always comes out the gp32x and the versions of whatever that is Yeah, or the it's like this is just a handheld that is in the background that is here It's humming along if anyone decides to pay attention to it. It's there You want to you want to install some shit on this? But as soon as you turn around it despawns from the world. It's crazy It's got a collusion mapping it's linked to the hardware. It's kind of crazy. It's pretty efficient actually Um Yeah, what the fuck is alienware up to I don't know Um

speaking of like You know switch competitors like apple arcade with a controller plugged in. Yeah There was a game that was only on that called exit the gungeon Yeah It's now coming to regular shit. Good The gungeon people make good stuff So that's happening in this year. Cool. I bet that game's really good. Probably very good lastly

um In terms of the unexpected and this one I want to see what you think because I can't I'm the I don't know what to think. I have one idea But I don't know. I don't think it's really it though Because everything seems like it's too much. All right for this story. Got it Matt Walker, uh-huh. I knew it was going to be the story

I knew it was going to be the story is teasing. Yeah That devil make high three For switch will feature something extra something extra for the fan seeing as they know. It's a super popular It has a special place in fans hearts. I believe was the wording. Yeah in his video tweet um Now this is obviously so vague that it creates a story in and of itself. It's not vague as you think And there is more information to be had now Here's the thing if I had to go back and think about what you could do to devil may cry three special edition

That would not take A ton of work. Yeah to do Right that would be A reasonable special thing Yeah, all I can think of is the ability to switch styles without going back to the the the fucking statue All right, I feel like you're gonna say but I No, but but maybe there's something better

Well, uh screenshots off capcom's website for the port have the names of the styles above the health bar In the screenshots, which does not exist in any version of the game. So yeah, it's totally style switching. Fuck. Yes That's awesome Except if it's only on the switch version Which would actually suck ass. Well, but now Yeah Okay, but now it's a matter of perspective, right? Because now does it retroactively make every other copy of devil may cry worse. Yes. Yeah, it does

And so like but what's your solution that the the pc version of the ps4 version and all those versions like get fucked That would suck ass So now but like is that so then you can't ever do things to the past you should roll them out into the other skews As updates that is absolutely become the standard for how that is done. Okay fair And if they don't do it that sucks fair also man Dante is so obviously going to be the next character in smash Um Apparently there's a pc version mod that you can do. Yeah, but only for the original version dmc 3 not the trilogy Not the trilogy. Okay

Well, if this comes out people are gonna fucking get on it That's so cool That's the number one thing I could think of that would not be too much development People who've played with that mod say that it turns the game into like a fucking joke. Oh, I'm cool, of course No doubt Um, the other thing that that mod did was made it. Um, so you know in well cycling store So, you know in dmc 5 how you could switch what weapons Dante had and when they would switch and where they were That was also part of that original mod way back in the day

Choose your order so you would be able to have all five weapons line up. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cool smart um, yeah, man, I really uh That d collection does in fact have the mod. Oh goody update it With official support come on. Okay, so then we would need it updated on ps4 and xbox and uh The pc version officially the ps

Three trilogy Yeah, I don't think anyone would be mad if they left that in the dust So you're just saying throw the official mod so like there's a mod but throw the official patch in yeah, yeah, okay fair That's fair, but I'm still even it even if they only do it like later Yeah, you know But but you know, I still we've had versions of this discussion in the past about like Like we just had a micro version of it with oddity where it's like new thing exists to be a And now the past is ruined. I think the fact a fucked up way to I think the fact that the dragon quest 11 version

On the switch that has like extra endings Never got ported to any of the other versions Sucks ass did nintendo pay for this? No, okay, then I I think I think the idea that like in in the modern context that like if versions Don't hit parody that there's no best version of the game. I think that sucks providing. There's providing There's no outright reason for it. For example, what do you mean? I can't use my nintendo outfits in the tech and like Other important whatever, you know Soul caliber. Yeah, that's nonsense, right with the exceptions. Yeah

Yeah, I that makes perfect sense and I agree and I and I certainly would hope that would be the case I am very happy to hear that there will be style switching in devil may cry three. Mm-hmm I didn't know there was a mod. Yeah the mods ancient I believe it like influenced dmc 5 design stuff Because there was one Yeah Yeah, it came out after four Because four had it and people went well, what if yeah, yeah, what if you could do this in three thought? Yeah

Hey, what's the over-under? What do you think are the what do you what do you think is the the the possibility that there is a p4 golden mod that has chiay's old lines back in and Only her what's the state of vita emulation? That's a good question Because like you want to hear some really weird people have modded the fuck out of breath of the wild With the wii u base. Mm-hmm and it's like, oh, yeah

The last wii u game I would have a non-existent sick All those vita games just trapped on that shit. No one cracked it up. I recently got citra and desamume working and It's nice to have all those handheld games no longer trapped on handhelds I'm looking at my shelf There's a there's a whole lot of white boxes. Yeah sealed up That I intend to like like I never got into smt apocalypse

Yeah, and like I don't even know where my 3ds is and I sure as fuck. I'm not gonna play anything on the 3ds now That being said when you blow up a 3ds game on your television Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh man for sure, but can't 40p sprites Is there is there no like p64 style? Yeah for the 3d. Okay, but not the sprites and not the text The text is the worst. It's just like oh I uh, I still um I still think I still make use of the the vita tv over here because uh, it lets

Uh, punch mom do remote streaming. Yeah while I can use the screen. So Anyway, I really know what to emulate for some of the four golden that sucks Damn Style switching fuck. Yeah You know who doesn't need styles. Oh, who's that? Virgil? It's true. He has the one But what if he did have two styles dark slayer and doppelganger doppelganger As long as the doppelganger can be v

Hey, hold up. What do you think? Uh, are they gonna are you cycling? You're gonna cycle through not not just the four but like The extras too, right? So you're gonna have to cycle through quicksilver So you're gonna have to cycle through quicksilver six and you're gonna have to cycle through fucking doppelganger too Where would that they'd be like at the end? So you'd have to go no The way that it works is on the d-pad. Yeah, so double tap. What about the sixth one triple tap? Hold the shoulder, but I don't know hold the shoulder button Hold lock on No, it's no no no, they'll make it it'll be they'll make it a cycle. So it'll be left to to left and right

right To roll the wheel fucking Or diagonal Right, so that's that would suck diagonal's not diagonal's not great It would be better to just make them all in a row and you have to scroll through the six But you can probably put two shortcuts on no, no It's oh up down left right and then double tap left or double tap right that that's the first Yeah

Yeah gun tricks or Royal I hope the voice clips just break Like bad Like they didn't test it, but they're what voice clips would there be he's not he never he doesn't oh, you're right He doesn't shout the name of the style flashes. He's just like an existing in-game effect. Yeah, uh, and I'll just switch to the next one And then someone has player two controller that that becomes activated for one moment and then deactivates, you know They got Virgil a hundred percent working in five. Yeah

He has a full move list now Dude wouldn't like didn't we see a story about one of the modders Finding a concentration gauge getting modded into the game what Uh getting patched into the game I remember hearing about a concentration gauge getting patched in. Oh, that's right With the difficulty update and the the move update. I've been corrected Virgil's not a hundred percent complete. He is missing a summon swords mechanic

And his mod version and I still think the the judgment cut end doesn't look perfect I think it's missing and capcom. Just hurry the fuck up and announce a special edition already for five It's so obviously coming but monster hunter What I don't know. They're probably focused on our other stuff. That's all different shit, man Yeah, the resident evil teams the monster hunter teams and the dmc teams are all separate Yeah, it feels like resident evil and and monster hunter are the well monster hunter is they're the big babies Is like the shit zillionist seller ever. They're the big star babies

dmc five did well, but I want to point out That I got into Like five six years of arguments with dumbasses on the internet Who would tell me? Well, you know monster hunter can't go to a console because it'd be too expensive and monster hunter will never be popular in the west So it'd just be a big waste of money for capcom So we should just hope for it to possibly get released in the west on hand how you guys can go fuck off I was so right

I was so right. What if uh, what if they're waiting for next gen for special edition five? Yeah, maybe Like a launch title or something. Does that seem reasonable? Because it's gonna be a long time before you see another monster hunter game after ice boring Probably like 18 months. I can accept special edition five being a next gen title. Yeah, I can do that And it's a and associated with it is legendary Dark knight difficulty and ladies knight and ladies knight and it's like hey you want to fight 35 million enemies Yes, I do. I do want to do that

the The special the se for se three from original three Versus se four from original four is fucking crazy. Yeah, so se five. Let's get seven eight characters wild wild and out Yeah wild and out. Let's get cut scenes with them too. Um something that Okay, that's come on No, but but like how about like taking that like co-op mission thing

Yeah, and like doing anything with us. Yeah Maybe even something locally. Yeah Something right come on I I maintain in my heart that uh Those dmc co-op things those missions where you just phase in Is an engine test shit for dragons talk about?

That's what I feel in my heart But I'm probably wrong doing some shit Honestly, those are not likely what would be likely is you don't remember the mission where they're all together, right? I would say like yeah the co-op bloody palace Yeah, that's it which we didn't get Shockingly everyone thought that would be that'd be the right way forward. Yeah. Okay. Uh, let's take some letters Get the fuck out of here If you got an email you can send it to castle super beast mail at gmail.com

Uh, I will select it and possibly read it Like this If you have an email next week where you explain what the fuck gmod is that'd be appreciated I'm not gonna lie I've been coasting on a sea of ignorance And it's been comfortable I I It's not going to affect me in any way. I have no deep dank holes to go

Yeah, except what if the biggest hottest video game thing that ever happened and everyone's got to cover it That's actually a blend a blender mod Player unknowns battlegrounds. Yeah What's a daisy? What's a daisy? What's a daisy? The mario character day Oh daisy. Oh, it's uh It's a mod that went nowhere. Okay. What is arma?

Uh, it's a it's a game where people jerk off to pictures of guns Has anyone with arma made anywhere near as much money as anything that's come out of arma mods? I don't think anybody's made any money off of that Because I feel like Arma is another one of these things where it's like, yeah, it's not even the thing that mattered as much as the mod of the thing That fucking blew up Because that that's where that came from. Yeah, daisy have daisy standalone still like big old question marks So no money has been made

Arma made a lot of money off people buying arma to install daisy But nobody knows daisy No Isn't that we're like Whatever See I just anyway When's the mod of the fighting game that becomes more popular than the original fighting game Like imagine if rainbow edition sf2 was the

The cultural touchstone that that super turbo was it the rainbow edition and the chinese mods existing Directly led to the existence of hyper games, which directly led to the existence of marvel Yeah, but what if rainbow edition was the one people played? 2020 evo Or not even are not or rainbow edition became its own its own game. Yeah called became strote fodder Like like rainbow. No, it just became rainbow fighter. Okay rainbow fighter And then the people that made that were like, yeah, this is our own thing And then the people that the made street fighter got jealous of rainbow fighter and made street fighter all stars

I mean them's fighting herds. Oh, sorry. No street fighter of the storm That like the the the official version of the mod of the original thing blizzard dropped the ball so hard on dota It defies belief It fucking they never copyrighted it or took a legal look at it once And then valve took it and then went no, you can't do that and lawyers said no, they can totally do that And then they made blizzard all stars was the name of that fucking game originally Yeah, you know who didn't make that mistake. Who's that epic? That's right. They didn't they did it themselves And then they made that menu

Really weird looking. Yeah, because what even happens when you select something that's not fucking battle royale mode It's called fortnite save the world and it's like hidden away on the main menu Like they but they never got rid of it, right? No, it's it's still in development Like people use So you that that version of the game for fortnite is uh the part of the game that you buy Like like a like it's a retail product. Yeah, and uh the reason people will suggest you to buy that version For your kids or whatever

Because you can grind out a lot of v bucks in it Okay, sure. So Don't buy the kid v bucks Buy your kid the single player version that they can play so that they can grind their own v bucks All I know is one time I saw a title screen and it had like all the options for fortnite gaming play And then one of them was a really big huge font that said battle royale And it was like fucking here. It's what you're looking for over here. I was like wow That's what you want

Yeah, I don't think that's ever happened in fighting games. It's always come back to the original company at some point I feel like fighting games. They're too easy to just fly apart Like there's too many variables that ever happened in like puzzle games It happened in rhythm games, right? In the groove and like games with the diagonal arrows became a thing. Yeah, those korean diagonal guys Yeah, yeah, yeah, they did those and center button. Yeah It did happen with with rhythm games The usual case is when these rts or shooter games just become completely

Unrecognizable new genres And auto chess is doing it again I I Can't figure out what auto chess is like I look at it and I'm like, I don't understand what is happening All you choose is what to do to your units in between rounds So it's like a clicker and then they play they fight for themselves And whatever you've done

Depending on whether you've done it better than the other person you're fighting Then then the results will play themselves. Is is that raid shadow legends? It it is not not Free shadow legends We got an email coming in from tito. He says a dear castle meltdown I recently made it to champion rank in teppen and I was about to turn a close game Around that would have put me in the top 200. That's really hot When suddenly my phone minimized and the game brought up an incoming call for my grandmother

I stared at the phone dumbfounded at the selfie's choice. I was given Do I reopen the game and take the victory or do I answer my 90 year old bubba? Who's calling from venezuela? Why I I live in australia What are the times you've Fragrantly disregarded familial interests in exchange for some sweet wins Well, I can't pause it Oh, yeah, that's right. It doesn't oh, yeah, that's regular. It doesn't pause. Yeah, same. Yeah, steve. It doesn't pause this game

It doesn't or this is online This is this is all this is online right now Like I have a cell phone and the cell phone goes off and if the video game can't be paused I have a voicemail for a reason What's that? It's the government. I don't care Now they'll wait. Yeah. Now your grandma. She might not be able to wait. So you never know Because also if she doesn't call that often Who knows right

but Surely it can wait like Five minutes if it's an emergency they'll call back right away When the match is done What are the odds that it would be an it would be an emergency that five minutes would make all the difference in the world listen you know I'm usually playing video games in my pajama. So I'd have to get dressed anyway. It's not gonna make it

How often do you have a shot at getting top 200? Quite rarely. That's crazy Have the auto reply that says hey, I'll call you back in a minute. I'll be real I don't use my telephone like a telephone anymore at all I'm annoyed when the phone part of my phone turns on. Yeah I have a thing set up that if I swipe the thing sometimes if I'm on a stream Yeah, I can go swipe and it'll automatically text my mom and go. Hey, I'll call you back after I'm done. Yeah. Um, I Uh get a phone call from my mom and dad

I get phone calls from a million a million sources of bullshit And I get text messages from page And occasionally people at me and discord so If my phone buzzes, I will check it within the next Three or four minutes if my phone rings I'll check it In a half hour and if it doesn't say mom and dad, I will just fucking ignore it

We got one coming in from Sean. He says hey guys Sean here after a major success with The Witcher 3 Uh, and it's third person cinematic goodness. Well unsuspecting fans coming off of that be immediately turned off by 2077's strict first person perspective Uh, personally, I find it baffling that a big budget rpg in this day and age would go this route Especially after previews of fucking dope character creators Um, has it not occurred to our good friends in poland that everyone wants their cool hunter strutting down the night? city I think uh, this is uh, partially a way to differentiate from The Witcher and maybe just maybe a solution to the in-house

Screaming matches over the way the character controls in third person that ended up getting people fired over Uh for witcher 3 You remember when witcher 3 came out and everyone's complaining how it moved? Like the control like the way Jerry moved was really bizarre And then a few a month later there was an alternative control scheme that got it added which literally just decreased the input Delay the input delay on moving him around There was apparently internal arguments on the witcher dev team between like gameplay people and like the senior staff going Gotta be deliberate movement goods. Like this feels like shit change it and like it just getting

Changed and re-changed in various builds back and forth back and forth back and forth until the reviews hit But you don't have that problem the first person. Yeah, Sean continues I'm not proposing they abandoned the chosen perspective entirely, but at least keep heavy use of cinematics in every NPC interaction Uh, I love that about wild hunt tired of so many games just giving you control over the cameras and conversations It's pointless and infinitely less engaging looking at you dragon age in position Uh, I'm looking at deus x Sure that I mean, uh jensen's an incredibly awesome looking guy So when he's talking, yeah pan it out. Let me see him

As somebody who prefers third person infinitely more than first, uh, I understand sir that You and I are in the minority Most people are fine with cyberpunk being first person Some people even prefer it as far as engagement goes and and are able to immerse more because of it But personally, I always would prefer to see my character Especially if I can put things on Trying to think about a game like where you're offered a lot of customization in your looks, but you never really get to see it That seems so

Weird, you know um Tristan says our people's names for pets the worst Yes, of course they are Where do you shit lords stand on the matter dogs can't talk, but can they be named david? Yeah, you can name a dog david. That's fucked up. I don't like that, but I have no problem with a dog named frank Frank's good. I my dog

was named ralph Ralph mm-hmm. Yeah, it's a good name for dog. I had a Ralph a Ralph was a dog name You can give a people name to a dog, but you gotta gotta be a working man's name. It's gotta be Yeah It's gotta be a blue collar name. Absolutely. Yeah, that's what it is. Isn't it if you give it a white collar name It's all fucked up. Yeah, it's terrible. Your dog's better than you That's super on point. I never nailed it down That's exactly it works as long as it's blue collar

Oh, yeah Yeah Ben's fine. Yeah, Ben's fine Jerry I'll talk to Jerry the dog. Fuck it Yeah But it can't it's samwise. Oh come here samwise, but it fuck yourself. It can't be Matthew No, it doesn't that's weird. That's bizarre. It doesn't work. It can't be shawnd The dog that's terrible get out. That's awful

It can be jacked your tps reports shawnd the dog, but jack is free. Yeah I've met a jack dog. There you go. There's a whole dog called a jack russell terrier. Oh, man It's gotta be working class. That's so funny. That's fucking Why does that? Why does the brain do that? I don't know. I don't know. Why does the brain do that? Wow Something about it does your dog wear a tie No Something about it. Yeah, it's gotta just it's gotta be a working a working thing. I like that. Okay

Um And I guess in that almost goes hand in hand with the idea that like Uh, uh, blue collar names are never biblical Or are usually not I guess if you're going with david, right? Oh Well, if you ask me david's a david's a scumbag name, but that's just my opinion. Oh, he's he's he's Through a rock and hit a giant in the head. Um Yeah

Okay, and We got one coming Dave's okay No, no not for a dog. I'm saying Dave. I've never met a bad Dave. Yeah, but but no for a dog I've met like every david I knew in my life was a fucking piece of shit They all had permanently like sketchy angry faces You gotta stick with the with the water two syllables tops too, you know, yeah, so anyway I had a dog one of my family dogs when we got her we got her when she was like six because somebody was like Giving her away. They were moving away

And her name was mitzu And we're and she got in the house and i'm like dad. What's the dog's name and he's like it's not gonna be mitzu That's for damn fucking sure. Mm-hmm. That dog became sam. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there you go Um, um punch mom's got a dog bam, bam. That's a good name for a dog. It works out So Okay, and last one sequel in a franchise uh that dipped in protest Presentation their castle millionaire fighting 2001. I like that I was a cow. I was at a college arcade and uh, they had cvs one

And I played it for a bit and that made me remember how much I love the presentation over at sequel This is is this just like me from the past Yeah, because I every time you talk about i used to vs You start going nuts about that like that highway fucking stage I used to rant about how much better cvs one was than cvs two's presentation ui's hud's voices music every top to bottom 100 percent the little stage Intro is the tv's with the various games the feeling of the world's colliding and that sweet robot announcer a personal favorite of mine While cvs two did improve on the rostering game. I feel like they just grabbed an early

Yeah, this is literally you spit it back at me. I mean if we want to fucking just continue this guy's email Do you know any other games that did this and i'm gonna cheat by using another capcom game? Marvel super heroes has a different fucking sprite for every time hulk uses his ground smash super Yeah, sorry ground smash move and fucking individual sprites for every floor in the game Shows up and it's fucking nuts Yeah, and it never came back because one game later was rock texture Yes, and they well, they just did the the the way you can stay. Yeah, but that's not um But that's one detail

Yeah, and like do you have anything that like applies to like the top to bottom top to bottom because like third strikes to step up Right, I have a I have a top to bottom in the chamber ready to fucking go curious if you have any I think dmc3's presentations way better than dmc4's I like four more. Okay, um top to bottom uh kof

2000 Was so hot It was the hottest shit. Yeah, it was very hot top to bottom 2000 had this amazing startup and the intro title screen How to play and character select music and then striker select were all the same journey through the beat It was one track that fucking starts out and the moment you get the how to play the music builds And then the the the beat drops as soon as you exit how to play and land on character select After you pick those characters it drops down when you go to pick your striker and then fades away by the time it says

Versus and the two characters go head to head. I gotta say I'm fairly shocked that you said king of fighters 2000 Because there's a really really easy one. Well before the obvious When you jump over to 2001 you get the most garbage Uninventful lazy boring And it's that forever and it's terrible and that entire thing is just not fun or interesting um There's other other kofs go wild and different with it

Some of them are liked some of them are disliked a lot of people find kof 11 to be pretty stagnant and boring I like the clean graphic design look on it. I don't mind. I appreciate it. I don't prefer it. I don't mind it, right? um The jump over to 13 was kind of wacky, but it is what it is uh 14 you know whatever But in terms of presentation HUD all that shit

2000 to 2001 is fucking trash On the and and and cvs2 was not trash. It just was less cool than cvs1. Yeah All right, I've got one for you sure the first three resident evil games have incredible title screens Almost every resident evil game after that has shit title screens re1 to re1 has a fucking live action chase on chris and then the blood spray and then Choo choo and then it goes do you click on it goes resident evil? And it's the weirdest stupid shit ever re2 has the intro cutscene with the capcom thing for that era

And then it loads into the eyeball resident evil 2 and re3 does something very similar Code Veronica has a fucking title screen. That's like chris and claire's fucking cg heads And it doesn't and it does not say code Veronica four is all right five's terrible six is fucking terrible Like Get that giraffe dick in your mouth last one

um Metroid prime oh the winner You from campy talk part one being the one of the best menus in a video game uh, and then two was Cool with the fucking electric connecting like little float rotating things tiles And then like three i don't really fully remember And then trilogy just got rid of all of them and just made the game load up on a boring ass menu

It got rid of all the fucking cool presentation and when you start on the trilogy screen It just goes right to the game itself. Yeah, it sucks You lost an entire song That was the title theme song for metroid prime. You're super right I never realized you lose a song of that version the thing that was like the metroid theme except with like alien kind of notes kicking in and then the gregling You know That's super real

That thing is gone Because of the fucking trilogy kite granted like trilogy is incredible otherwise because you got them three games, but It's just like get the fucking originals get the disc and you can enjoy those menus That's completely Unreasonable. All right. I got one for you. All right, nba street volume two to volume three. Oh my god

Rock to potty rock to potty rock to potty soundtrack wasn't as good The style on the effects wasn't as good the overall art style wasn't as good Yeah, that online play But it was a step down in every other way Do every every replay and every time you cut the replay from a different angle It plays the chorus it echo. It's fucking before you dunk Yeah, street nba street volume two is one of the all-time greatest like classic sports games And it sucks that it never got a real follow up. Oh my god home court was okay. Yo the game breaker music. Yeah

Oh Fuck yeah, yeah street streets a bad one. All right. All right Podcasts is over now. That's the dud of it. By the way, I forgot to say that what I'm doing with my life I'm gonna be streaming a reasonable three on thursday and friday this week That's gonna be 3 p.m streams because I'm waking up at 5 30 a.m Fuck me and then over on saturday. I'm gonna do I'm gonna do some ff7 I'm gonna do the disc two shit. That's gonna be over twitch.tv slash angriest pat. Yep. Um, like I said more death stranding More jank-ass fighters for fun on thursday

More jank-ass fighters for glory And more salt party coming at you this weekend over on woolly versus and thank you to everyone for the board game suggestions And uh for even handing over some board games even I got some uh stuff I'm looking at some shit over there. I got a table full of board games And I took a picture you guys saw it on twitter if you do that bottom one is fucking sick And uh, I'm still taking more suggestions But of course I have to take the chance to fucking learn these things before we crack them out So it's gonna be a little bit, but yeah table lords does continue as well. So check that out over on woolly versus

Thank you guys and of course we'll see you for the next week's podcast next week Anything we need to end it on No No, how do you feel about a dog named george? I can live with that. It's got to be a small dog. It's skirting the line Yeah, skirts the line george is like a royal name It could almost but there's georges that work. I'd rather have a dog named castanza I mean, that's fine. That's totally fine. George is skirting the line because george can work either type of job. Yeah

So So So So So So You