Castle Super Beast - CSB 053: Piranha Plants Dig Watersports

Episode Date: January 28, 2020

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Squirtle rules, Blastoise rules, Wartortle is super lame. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Matthieu Loubiere (Ganaé Music) - Bubble Bobble Main Theme Orchestrated Get 15% off your order at http://buyraycon.com/superbeast! Beloved portable rhythm game Patapon 2 is coming to PS4 January 30 Report: Konami has two new Silent Hill games in development EA's reportedly working on a Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic reboot Kojima wants to expand into anime, manga, movies and "smaller projects" as well as his next "big game" Here's Haohmaru versus Mitsurugi in Soulcalibur 6 Samurai Shodown reveals returning DLC characters Sogetsu Kazama and Iroha Super Nintendo World will officially be part of Universal Studios' new Florida theme park Reggie saved us from more 'Attitude Era' style edgy Nintendo logo changes Dark Souls II looks better than ever with this lighting mod

... Right, so... As we were saying, one minute ago. You said something, something, survival horror or something. I yawned, then I said something, something, survival horror, yeah. I pointed out that there was a second bingo card made for the podcast. Yeah. And I pointed out that you might be literally bingoing simultaneously crossing off three

of the items on that bingo card. I don't like the thing that you like. So... I think the thing that you like is overrated. It might be possible to even do like an entire four, like, or five of full bingo row. Yeah. Although, we probably missed one by being on a Monday today. Oh, man.

My favorite part of that is that last night for me, the joke became way too real in which I sent you a text and a Twitter message going, well, I literally can't remember if the podcast is tomorrow. No announcement equals normal time. I don't know that. How would I know that by listening? And then at some point, you said something. And then I said something to the effect of, oh, yeah, consistency.

You said consistency is good. Consistency is good for the soup. And I said it is good for flanderization. I was like, wow, miles past that shit. Yes. I'm in a new era. But if you choose to lean into it and double down on it, then it's hard to walk it back when it sucks.

Oh, dude. I've encountered a fucking, I think Kevin Brown won Raylith, creator of Goofy MS Paint Comics was the first to point it out, but it is becoming like double absurd, which is my fucking YouTube thumbnails and my stream archives are 99 times out of 100. A picture of my head in some kind of like big camera. Hey, everybody, you know, thing. And the channel's like angriest Pat or Pat stares at and they're all like me holding my cat or me giving like double thumbs ups or being like, yeah, right?

Like 99 out of 100. And people made jokes. A ha ha, Pat, so angry, right? And it's like, man, I got that nickname when I was 17. That was 16 years ago. And then you typed it in to sign in to a new sign up for a new Twitch account three years ago. I can't back. I can't.

It can't be rolled back now. That name when you were 17. That's fine. But then it every time you every time a sign up page popped up and asked you for a user name, you continue typing it in because the brand, woolly, because the brand because of the brand that I am now tied to. Yeah, you can have a 17 year old brand. I mean, I mean, I meant you can have a brand when you're 17.

You could or woolly versus is some new shit. Yeah, but it has your name in it. It does. And your name is a brand. It's a weird name. Yeah. Yeah. If your name was Joe, you wouldn't have called it Joe versus because it would probably be

too similar to the other Joe versus account, which I'm just going to assume exists. No, but then I would find some other kind of like I'd find a pun if it was a common name to work it in there. But what about in 20 years when you're no longer against things? I'd call myself Ash Deno Joe. Or like something like that, yearless Joe, I find the timing on that wouldn't work out quite. No, no.

But like, if I had a regular name, I'd find like cool puns for it because I feel like a lot of people with regular names get to get to get these do Blanc Tendres. Yeah. You know, all I got is like, oh, I'll give you a real pat on the back or I'd be a Joe star. You know, there's a lot of fun things you could do if you have a common name. I think my favorite one is telling Paige that I can read her like a book and then you just say nothing and you just just stare and then you say because because pages are in books

and then they're like, I hate this. I hate this joke. It's terrible. I'm a big fan of ruining a joke for your own enjoyment. Ever played the page master? Is that a Super Nintendo game? Sure was. I saw the movie, but I didn't play the game.

It was bad. That movie sucks, too. I played the game for a really long time because it was one of the only games we had for a while when a friend brought it over and it was just at a certain point, it just became a curiosity to see if we could actually get to the ending of it. But at some point, they just ran out of content. So they started like just duplicating the levels and it wasn't even like an attempt to be like, go back to that old level and then there's new things in it.

It was like, no, they would have a new name, but it would just be the exact same level again. That's kind of great. Like you think back in hindsight and it's like somebody our age is going, these fucking stupid kids, they can't tell they can't tell shit. They're fucking stupid. That's probably 100% of the reason why that was done the way it was. I absolutely.

It was it was insane. In addition to the fact that the poorly animated kid would keep using the same sound effects and go, hey, a whole lot, because you can get so far. Children are not intelligent. No, what as long once you realize that the the ceiling you have to build on is the cognitive abilities of like a small of a small idiot person, an idiot, right? With with no experience to understand what's happening, then you can just make the same things happen again and again and again.

Do you ever have like a moment of like what you feel is like like smug victory? And then you realize it's actually like a sign of insecurity. Like when when kids don't know how to do things like they're bad at math, I'm like kids so fucking stupid, can't even do fucking math. Look at this idiot. And then I'm like, wait, why am I lording over my adult cognitive abilities over a slightly larger fetus? You take your wins where you can get them.

Yeah, no, I I I do believe that, you know, there's an entire regularly seen thing where like you get your cat the expensive new toy and then it fucking ignores it. Only of a fucking the box, the box, right? That's the go to. Oh, yeah. Same thing for whatever. And like, yeah, a bunch of kids. Sometimes you'll see the brand new like fucking toddler toy and they're like, OK, whatever.

But this banana, though. Yeah, you know, or like the joke gift banana that gets unwrapped and like kid is legitimately through the moon happy for the banana. And then like it's like, oh, the joke didn't work. Kid was too dumb to realize this is why this is why we have to take care of you for so long so you don't drown yourself because human children are worthless for forever. So why turn into adults? So why try to make new levels that create new challenges when same level do trick?

What are you going to why use many level to do one level good when one level do just trick find like a baby deer when it falls out of its mom and hits the ground. Giraffe, a lot of them do. Yeah, but giraffe is a higher fall. True, they just get up and start walking. Yes, that's and they're they're good. Yes, they're slimy as shit, and that's gross, but good to go. What's up with you, babies?

Oh, you can technically float if you're in a pool. Oh, wow. OK, well, turtles, though, right? I'm a I'm a put you a turtle. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. I'm a drop you off here in the agro zone and in in the like the the red dots are on the map. I'm going to make sure to tell all the local murderers that you're here. Like, you know, the little, you know, the orange vignetting when like a mule yeah, is your package in depth trending.

So the eggs are born into life and as soon as they're born, orange lights are going and the the mom's gone and it's like you got to find your way out of enemy territory. And that's mission one. I'm done with this part of the process. I my my role is complete. Yeah, yeah, I'm out. Objective survive immediately upon hatching. I don't know the controls.

All I guess that sucks for you. That's not good, is it? All right, yeah, yeah, this is this is nature. This is nature at its finest. And if you happen to make it back, that that parental turtle might acknowledge your existence. But they're probably like three, four hundred miles away. It's not even really a guarantee. You just you kind of wait into the water and hope you find your way back.

It's yeah, man. Hey, Hatchie and Kazoo, yeah, that's really just like that's that's the animal kingdom. That's what that's what shit was, wasn't it? That's like, hey, Hatchie and Kasia, that's birds. Birds do that. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. He gave him he gave him a couple of years of feeding. Yeah. And then he didn't drop him like it wasn't. He didn't like stomp Kazumi and then have her shoot the baby right out over the cliff.

No, like he was born and he raised him and he taught him some words and he taught him some fighting. And now that he's got the basis, he's going to nudge you off this cliff and hope hope you can fly right on an ability he ironically learned later. Yeah, yeah, which I mean, if you just at the same time, like you do have to wonder how Hey Hatchie thought that martial arts would defeat gravity. Well, here's here's like the way that I always saw it is that Hey Hatchie had a more extreme version of the mentality

I was describing earlier in like five minutes ago, which was he's training Kasia to fight and cause he has like six and loses. And Hey Hatchie is like this kid so this kid's such a fucking pussy. You can't believe it. I punch him once and he like falls down. This is bullshit. Yeah. And Hey Hatchie in his mind is like, well, I would survive a fall off this cliff. No problem. So fuck it.

It'll toughen the kid up. Maybe. So the thought is maybe like he'll break an ankle or two. Yeah, he'll have to figure it out. He's like, I could do it. Yeah, it could be. I suppose you can't do it. You dumb baby. And the answer is yeah, I guess, but you're you seem insane. Sure. Hey, Hatchie's an asshole.

He's pretty not good, you know, saying rules and all. It's got cool hair, though. Why is it even cool hairs? It just yeah, it's been long enough that it's cool now. OK, you after a certain level of resilience, AKA like nine games, you do get to kind of just like be like, no, that's that's the way it is. That's a cool tough man hair. And it looked cool when he put the fancy like the fur coat trim over it.

Yeah, he started to be like full on. That was a cool look. It was a good look. It was a good look. And then before you got his like, I'm going to wrap myself up like a like a fucking old man burrito diaper. Yeah. And you're like, hmm. No, but that's nature. That's what that's when you're old people up like burritos.

No, no, no, no, like, yeah, kids being weak, born into the agro zone. Yeah. Survive first, then you can be alive. Yeah, OK. Life is conditional upon survival. That's true. That's that's deep, man. You might even that's crazy. It's almost like nature has some sort of rules.

Now, man, play with. Yeah. So we drink all the birds in a drinking bleach will finally gotten rid of their smugness. I saw a really cool like clip. I think it was like a nature is metal clip of like what must have been, I want to say, like

like a gazelle kind of drinking at a pool or whatever. Why don't you go and I think a cheetah was gunning for it? Yeah. And or might have been might have been just like a lion. But whatever it was, it was close to him insanely fast. Yeah. And the gazelle like pumpfakes to the right and makes and it darts goes to dart off. And the fucking the big cat just like like straight line for where that place was going to be.

And then it just cuts back the opposite way. And like it's to the point where like like the momentum is so heavy on the big cat coming down after it that like it has no opportunity to remotely process that it didn't keep moving that way. Yeah. You know, it was like one of the goes. Yeah. One of the sickest crossovers of all time. It was wild.

Cats knees got cut up. That's great. Jupe. I thought you were going to talk about one where like a lion is like stalking like a fucking deer or whatever they gazelle gazelle. That's like one of them. Deers, one of them. Yeah. And like it's going to get it.

It's going to pounce and then the water explodes and a and a croc just bites the cat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like this is like a Jurassic Park moment. That was that was one, too. And it's like, good, good job out of the crocodile, not alligator. That's different. That's somehow a different animal.

But OK. Yeah. Yeah, that's always wild. But again, it's it's it's almost more impressive when you see the fucking the Barry Sanders cutting fucking spin where they actually get away. Um, there was one of a cat stalking up on, I believe it was a bird. And a regular regular cat.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's getting real low. And I think it was a bird. And then the bird just kind of fucking like, I got to get the fuck away from me. And the cat literally just gets really sad. Like, yeah, yeah, it's out. It's a fat cat. And it's like bird and the bird looks at it

and then flies away and the cat just flops on its side, the most. It's just full body, full body failure. I'm a fat cat. Can't do it. I couldn't eat the bird. Can't do it. I hate it. You are not capable. I have given up. Yes. Yeah, that was a great.

That was super good. That one was a fucking roast in a half. Flight's really good. Having the ability, the ability to fly at whim away from things you don't want to be near light bones or towards things you want to be towards. That seems really good. Yeah, I'd say so.

Would you sacrifice hands for it, though? Well, no, because the hands enable you to hold a gun, which allow you to teach those smug flying bitches who's who's boss. This is true. Let's take that, you motherfucking duck. I'll get you not to mention that like fucking necrophile rape freak. That's that that that animals do that. Ducks do that a lot.

They do. Yeah. If you were to here's the other thing, too, like there's two kinds of shot and the weaker one is the one that's for taking you out. We don't even use the good one. Yeah, because if we use the good one, you kind of explode. Yeah. So flight's nice, but there's some downsides, right? Yeah.

I mean, now if you're going full on like hawk or eagle, we're like, now you get the vision. Yeah, there's not a whole lot of downsides to that. That's just awesome all the way around. Um, well, the bones, that is a problem. The bones isn't. Yeah, you're not you're not sturdy. You're not that sturdy, but your talons are fucking. Rough and your beaks fucking rough and a point out.

Ninety nine percent of this conversation is being brought to you by watching Tier Zoo videos. Check him out on YouTube. I mean, I'm just coming off of Ranger Rick magazine. I don't know what that is. That's what I used to read as a kid, Ranger Rick magazine, owl magazine and Nat Geo for Kids kind of thing. OK, yeah.

It was because my aunt owned a bookstore and she just said, oh, yeah, she'd send us comics every month and she'd send us like, yeah, just like Nat Nature shit because we were super into animals and like Ranger Rick would have all these like profiles on like cool, cool animals and shit. But the point remains. Hollow bones, you know, to trade off strong to what's it called? Tension weak to torsion.

I think it is. Yeah. But our bones are, you know, they're they're basically rocks inside your body. Yes. So like they they they you can't twist them, but they break instead of bending. Yes. Here's the other thing, right? We get injured. Yeah, I do. When we get injured, it's true.

We are usually like reduced in our effectiveness. That's true. But if a bird is injured, it is it might as well be dead. Yeah, it's like horses. Is your horse going to blame for it? You're done. I'm sorry, buddy, right? You look delicious. And that's that's and that's another that's another trade off to do all those with you.

Yeah. So if we can bounce back of is that what you like them? The horse meat? It's it's always been suspected that there are horses in those burgers. Well, if they somehow get the gaming meat to be that crumbly. Dude, I don't care. I would eat a horse, not a whole horse. They're big. Ain't no reason you can't eat a horse. Can't eat a horse.

Yeah, if you imagine if the last time you stubbed your toe, that was the end of your life. I'd be fucking fucked. Yeah, so I bump into shit all the time. So this is what sucks about having those wings and having that, like, you know, all those other buffs. Yeah, is you got no staining, sustaining power, low maximum HP. You got nothing going on there.

That's not good. We have we have a shield and we have an HP regen. That hits a cap before the shield is I'm a fan of that. You know, I'm a fan of thinking that I have a bunch of rocks. The bones are rocks because they're rocks. Like we have the ability to like completely amputate a limb. Yeah, um, not everyone can do that. Dogs can do that. Dogs can rock it with three feet.

Yeah, some animals can do that. Like laughably, laughably easy, right? Like dumbass starfish. Sure. Lizard doesn't give a fuck what it would it loses. Yeah, you know, I've I've seen it and I've seen it in Grenada. But you want it. You want all those bird buffs? Well, now you got to take the trade off.

Your wing goes down even partially. That's it. Some birds don't really need their heads. Sold the story about that chicken who's getting made for dinner and for like a while. You hear you hear about it. I don't know because chickens are so fucking stupid. Is that what was that story?

Yeah, it is. The deal with that is that animals that are stupid enough. Enough of their body is being automated by their brain stem and not their head. So if you if you feed them with an eyedropper, they'll manage for like for like a good bit. At that point, it's just motor functions, though, right? There's no thank you. Hey, loves chemicals.

You can't think it's just your body is just doing things. Chickens barely think anyway. I mean, they this is what the aliens up top are saying to us. Oh, they're barely even communicating with their mouths, what a bunch of primitives. Yeah, um, hey, if you got zapped up an alien spacecraft right now and they're like, hey, you guys are like ants, we're going to eat you.

You guys are delicious. Would you even be mad? I would ask them if they could show us some cool shit first. All right. See, that's yeah, that's a fair request. So it's like you guys got here. You you're speaking our language. You're clearly like we got no shot. Yeah, we got no shot.

No, I don't mean like an invasion. I mean, like they literally just zapped up just you and they're like, yeah, every every year on on alien Jesus day or whatever, do we eat a human? OK, because it's delicious. Do you need a silver surfer like Harold? I don't think they do. OK, but check this out. OK.

I can show you the juiciest humans. Oh, see, but I need the power of flight. I I I need the power of boosting tech. I need whatever you're using to zap people up. I need I need a micro version of that. I love how like every bad situation that I've ever given you hypothetically turns into. How can I sell some media else out faster?

Oh, for cool and more effective power ups, baby, those power ups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will find you the juiciest. Don't let Willie talk to the aliens. I'll let them do it. Right. You give me some. You give me show me to share some of that tech and I'll do you. I'll do you one so much better like now,

but we already have the juicy finder. It's a. But what about like I can even find you? I can even find you like the juicy ones that like no one would be mad if you if you grabbed them, you know. It'd be great. It'd be great. I just sue me up.

You know how it's we already have the juicy finder. Yeah, it's just an alien dousing rod and they they they pull back a curtain and it's just a pair of juicy pants, juicy pants. And they're like we humans are so dumb, you mark to yourself. The ones who are wearing the juicy pants. They got to go. We got their delicious. Where it is.

And you know what? You're not even wrong. I can't. So yeah, you you you know, take your silver surfer and you know, you see he's he's rocking out. But the only difference is he's got no problem with what's going down. And he's like, take me. I will be your Herald and it'll be fucking rad.

I'm super down for this. Let's go. I mean, what kind of aliens would show up come come this far away and not admire that, you know? I mean, I don't know. They're aliens. You don't know. They could just be like a giant protoplasmic blob with unknowable intentions. Except for consuming the juicy ones.

Yeah. Yeah. Fucking yeah. Round him up. Yeah. Round him up to the then the juicy camp. That's terrible. I hate it.

I hate it. That might be the worst stupidest thing you have ever said. Easy. It's an easy task. What else are we doing? I'll get it done by Thursday. Oh, come on, man. What?

No, that's that's self-defeating. I don't know. But no, that's that's self-defeating. You have to constantly have long delays because if it's got done by Thursday, they'll be like, thanks into the juicy camp with you now. Oh, well, they don't want all of them. Juicemaster. No, they don't want the juicy ones.

And then like, again, more than you could ever, you know, there's just there's at some point they're going to be satiated. So you don't know that they could have like a pangalactic empire. Yeah, but like that could be the brother moons. But you know how far and wide it is. Oh my God, is that what the necromorphs are? You know how you know how far away the next viable life forms are insanely far far. We're super rare.

You know that even if you are light speed traveling, it doesn't matter. You still know that unless you're reality hopping, take it up with Fermi. All right. Let's go argue with him in his grave in the paradox. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I say, I say you want a you want a farm more than you want a feast. There's a really good, you know, actually, you know what this reminds me of?

You saw a Castlevania, right? Yep. That part where Godbrant goes into yellow Dracula. He goes, what are you? What are we going to do when you kill all the humans? Yes. Yeah. Exactly.

You know how like the buffalo are just so dumb that you could like steer them off a cliff? Yeah, they didn't understand gravity too well. No. And the problem with that is now you have too much meat, too many dead buffaloes, many buffaloes and like it's you need it. You just needed one or four and now you have 50 dead. The entire herd in one shot. Would you all?

Everyone's going to eat one whole buffalo. Fuck off. You're crazy with that. You're going to die if you do that. But instead of getting the buffalo was way too effective, it was it was laughably effective to a problematic point. It killed way too many only the buffalo could understand the concept of gravity. If only there were freezers back then really that's wait what and you could freeze the

meat. It's not as fresh, obviously. But yes, finding a better way to not kill all the buffalo and that's your takeaway. No, it's just one of one of the potential. That's your takeaway from the the total eradication of the buffalo is that man, it would have been a way less wasteful to have eaten all of them if there were freezers. It would have been better than all of them than what happened. Anything would have been better than what happened.

Having them all like too much food to eat and now it's got a time limit on it. That's how it is. You fucking food having a time limit isn't fair. It isn't fair to anything that has to eat. Yeah, but like if it didn't, then. No, because you're you you have a time limit. No, I don't shut up. So everything that has a title, I don't know what you're talking about has to

consume things that have a time. I'm going to transfer my brain to that toilet. OK, well, it lived forever. Yeah. So so that's that's exactly it. It was it was way too effective. And that's what I'm saying. So you want to wipe your whole juicy population out and then the rest of the planet. Fuck that.

You don't want that. You only want a few. And then you want it to sustain. And then what is this? There'll be like some fucking far off utopia of the rail, thin, flat people. That fear no alien. Or there will be easier or there will be a lottery that culture develops to have the juiciest.

That is always going to be chosen for sure. Oh, yeah. But in exchange for their sacrifice, they are given a comfy life and all that horrible, you know, the start of the start of that that Tim Schaefer game there. With what? Then you did then you were Tim Schaefer game point and click one. I'm completely broken age. Oh, the start of broken age.

OK, I didn't. OK, so the start of broken age is like you're in the village and then like they have to on whatever their whatever birthday and big monster comes and takes the girls from the village. OK, so it's the Roche. And it's like they haven't kind of have the sacrifice kind of thing. Yeah. So it's like one of those things, you know, it's like they're Roche or fucking Logan's run or any of the like, oh, you win the lottery.

Or, you know, man, whatever. What was it? What's the what's the? What's the mockingbird there? The what mockingbird? What is the mockingbird? Mockingbird movie movie to kill a mockingbird. No, not that one. The new one, the one that's all like the battle royale.

The battle royale mockingbird. Hunger games, hunger games, hunger games, the word mockingbird even in that title. Isn't it? Or is it mocking Jay? Mocking Jay. What is the what what are you talking? Mocking Jay, mocking Jay. That's completely different. I don't fucking know, dude.

It's the it's the thing over there. Katniss has her bow and arrow mocking Jay. Is that a type of bird? That's a type of bird, isn't it? Mocking Jay. I go, I'm going to assume it's not a movie about given the boots to Jay Bowman. No, OK. But my mom used to sing a song about who I love.

My mom, my mom used to sing a lullaby about mockingbirds when I was a kid, when I was a young little baby. And I've never heard of mocking Jay's until this movie. But my brain always wants to say mocking Jay. A mockingbird, rather. Let me look that up real quick. Hey, what's hey? Did Katniss start the year of the bow?

I don't know anything about that. I saw the first one. On TV one time, a mocking Jay is not a real bird. Sick. It's it's it's inspired by a mockingbird and a jabber Jay, which is also part of the mythology of the Hunger Games. Thanks. Wait, did you say the the mythology of the Hunger Games? That's apparently what we're looking at.

All these young adult novels are trash. You know, what's a good young adult novel? Fucking Dragon Lance, Margaret Weiss, Tracy Hickman. That's fucking just a bunch of nerd shit written loosely adapted from their regular ass D&D sessions. I feel like it's going to always be the thing that we come back to. But it's also like it's the last shot up. It's so cool. It was the last thing I read as when I was a kid.

And I was like, yeah, this is red. And then I just left off there. Kaz Minotaur got to go on his second book adventure. Oh, yeah, for sure. And I mean, I knew you could even take it back to the to the night humor. Yeah. And his original minotaur. That was the first book I ever read of any of those.

Yeah, which was really confusing chronological order. Yeah, no, it just happened to be the first one I picked up. And so in every other book they ever taught, man, Huma was debuffed. He was so good. Yeah, he was so good. He fucked that dragon. He had no confidence. Fuck that dragon. He was so unconfident. Yeah. This is the coward way where the dragon turns into a pretty lady.

Yeah, Tequises. Yeah. No, that's that's that's the that's the evil one. Mm hmm. What are you talking about? Are you talking about the villain? Oh, are you talking about like a girlfriend, man? Oh, OK, yeah, the dragon. Sure. Yeah, sure. She's all silver and shit. I forgot. I forgot the names of the other characters in that. Yeah, but.

Yeah, I remember there was this this. You remember the romantic subplot with Tannis where he's like, do I go with the human lady? And it's half. And I'm going to and I'm going to get really old. Oh, sorry, she's going to get really old and die. And I'm going to be young and cool. Or am I going to date this this cool elf chick? And I'm going to get really old and die.

And she's going to stay like 25 forever. Yeah. And then you see in the sequel book, he made the right decision. Hmm. Because that human lady evil. That that's why it was the right decision. Remember when it was like there's the quality of like there are these like ash homeless, asshole-ish elves that are all up their own ass. And then they go, yeah, you think we're bad. Check out the Sylvan Estee. Holy shit.

And they're like, double asshole is super duper. Fuck you, human fucking fuck. Yeah, yeah, two types of. Live and annoying. Elvish fucks, super beautiful, et cetera. Oh, my God, I just this. So in my I'm I'm pretty tired. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but in my tired state,

the the neuron pathways don't go in the right directions. And sometimes they just fire off to the side to non relevant information. I just remembered something that you were laughing to tears about like 10 years ago, which was a photo of Agent Smith with the little Elrond curls from Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it was. Comedy was pretty simple back then.

Simple Photoshop didn't take much, didn't take much. I don't even all I remember. Oh, man, it's Hugo Weaving saying gondor. Oh, man. Yeah. Hey, did you like Tasselhoff burfoot? Tassel's great. He was really cool. His side book was great.

He was great. Yeah. And he was like he got he's a kender. So he had the top knot and he would you and he would that was the place where I learned the term wanderlust. Yeah, that's that's where I think that's the name of his book. Yeah, so it's solo book. Yeah, yeah. And it's and it's what all of his race are afflicted with

where they just they can't sit still that and stealing. Yes, please. Please stop taking my money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's it's my medicine to live. It's 100 percent fantasy realm ADHD. And like it's like it's they can't help it and they'll like laugh it off and be like, yeah, no, this is totally.

And then it's back in their hands from how to wait. What I didn't know I what that's crazy. It was great. It was great. Kenders are great and and and if you happen to go into the trilogy of the future where they had the Joan of Art girl and like was like, you know, like you had you know how you had the the the the seasons books. Yeah, yeah.

So then there was the the the future books of like dragons of a forgotten moon. And I forgot what they're called. They're I only read the first of the future ones. Yeah. And man, that that fourth book, Dragons of Summer, whatever. Yeah, I forget. It had the it opened my brain eye to one of my favorite concepts still, which was because it's a D&D styled fantasy universe in which anybody who

is an adherent to whatever divine patron, whatever, they're going to fucking do the kinds of things that their alignment chart says they do. Right. So the chaotic evil motherfuckers are going to go chaotic evil to the maximum. And some some asshole night just goes, dude, we would have won that war so good if our leaders hadn't all backstabbed each other to death. Like we would have we would have crushed that shit. But we were so full of shit.

We're so evil. Yeah. Empire style. Right. And so they're like, what if we just like had evil goals? Yeah. Yeah. But just just did them and then it becomes this like a hundred times worse new threat because everyone's like, you know, this is really stupid. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, that was Dragons of a Fallen Son.

Right. And then and then and they have a new chick who shows up and like unites all under her banner for the new God. Yeah. And they're like, what if like what if it was like a real team effort for evil? Yes. Like and we'd win super easy. Right. Yeah, we would. And then they totally do coordinate. They win super easy. Yeah. The coalition.

Everybody get together. Have a press conference. Let everyone know we're teaming up. No more bullshadowing the backstabbing. I mean, Christ, this might be a fucking plot point in the future. But what if like every single villain in Hero Aka all just like was on one conference call? So there was a bit.

There was a bit like that that was in FF 10, where it was like all the stupid little monsters you're fighting every once in a while. Like you because you just wipe through them as you go through the game. And then there's a point where like you get attacked by like five of them. But it's like two birds, two robots and like some swamp monsters or whatever. And you're just like, OK, so the coalition has been formed. Right. The beasts of the earth. No, we don't like creatures of the sky and the tech.

Nightmares have all gotten together and formed a nice little predator. Like, yeah, now best friends. And like, we realize we will all die horribly. But if we do this together, maybe there's a chance. So they're calling up the press conference and taking questions about their new unison and they get stomped anyway. Yeah, that's unfortunate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Jabber Squad.

So you said you never went into like Dragons of a Lost Star or Vanishing after that. I read, I think, every book that came out up until a certain date. And then it was just over from then on. OK. Well, those books continue because, like, or rather they they're pretty much it's mostly a new cast. And like, you kind of find out what happens to the old cast. But Tasselhoff is in there the whole time, hanging out, doing his thing. He's just an old fucking kender now, but he's still in there doing it.

And it's great. It's great. Totally awesome. And it's one of those bits where it's just like, you know, he has his moments of being serious when the need when the time comes. I really need my arthritis medication. But for the most part, seriously, he's still a fucking kender asshole. Yeah. That's a dragon lance, man. That was a that was a fun. That's a good.

Oh, man. That's good stuff, man. Did you did you ever get into the the Ishtar stuff? Or is like I got it in the series of books where a fucking race lens, a piece of shit. Yeah. And time traveled him and his brother back into time. And the twins tested the twins or the twins. Yeah. And so they there's a book where they expand on Ishtar entirely,

where it's just like this city was so fucking up its own ass. Oh, so good, though, that the gods were just like, I'm going to take this mountain and put it on top of you and pretend you never happened. It's a mountain now. Yeah. Yeah. Get fucked. It was a the balance, man. Got to keep the balance and whatever.

God, do you fucking what? Well, I'm trying to think books. God, there was a fucking another series of books. Do you remember Fizban Fizban? I never read Fizban books, but I heard tale of Fizban from my DM friend who would tell us about because he shows up in the main series a couple of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But but there was another series of books OK, that was not Dragon Lance. Yes, I said he appeared in. So hold on, hold on a second, because Fizban is just Paladine. Yeah, right? It is in his math form. But are you perhaps thinking of Fist and Dantilus? No, no, no, that's a different guy.

Oh, are you not? That was Rayson's fucking. No, no, no, Fist and Dantilus is not even Dragon Lance. Wait, really? I think Fist and Dantilus was like a whole is like another what wandering wizard dude from a different realm entirely. I never read any of those. I think God, what the fuck was it? What was it, the fucking seeker?

But no, no, fucking it's gone now. It's the word. No, am I fucking it up? I am fucking it up. I mean, I mixed up the names there. OK. Fist and Dantilus was the was the guy that Rayson was a huge fan.

Yes, yes, that's what it was. That's what it was. What am I thinking of then? I don't know. There's another mage that was like a popular mage because there was a fucking had a bunch of series book written about it like this world, but it wasn't like this world. It was elemental based.

Margaret, I think was done by Margaret. Was it Margaret Weiss? Maybe Tracy Hickman. It was about this asshole that didn't have magic, but he had a sword that ate magic. El Minster. Well, that's the D&D guy. That's that's that's right.

I forgot in Rome. That's that's that's who I was thinking of. You're thinking El Minster, the fucking British or El Minster shows up in like Baldur's Gate. Yeah, he's got like a million books. El Minster in hell. Yeah. And then El Minster does this and El Minster fucks off.

El Minster makes a sandwich. El Minster fucks off. That was the name of the book, did you say? Yeah, that's a good book. Yeah, I remember that all every time I would go to the bookstore or to the comic store, actually, and I'd go to the Dragonland section. I'd have to I'd have to scroll my hand, pass a bunch of El Minster books and drizzed.

People are people in our chat are going like Black Clover. I'm like, guys, we are talking about like ninety four. Like ninety five tops. Like, yeah. Never did Wheel of Time. I heard a lot of good things about it. Wheel of Time was really good. And then you hit book eight and nine and Jordan decided

that plot threads don't need to be finished. They just need to be continued forever. And the first I think it was eight or nine, whichever one. The first like entire chapter is like a conversation between two main characters about the state of global politics. And it lists off like two hundred characters. And I was like, I don't know if I can handle this. Man, ouch, this is a lot.

OK, so I'm not going to lie. There's moments where Legend of the Galactic Heroes kind of has those conversations. And at first you're like, I who is that? Oh, God, right? I don't know. Because and because let's be because I'm going to be real with you. By the end, there's a cast of maybe 50 characters

and that are like generals, sub generals, politicians, soldiers, crew, right? So like, you know how like, you know, what you call it, double 79, you learn pretty much the entire the entire staff of the white base. You learn you learn. So it's one of those things where you get to learn to know the entire staff. Yeah. Right.

And then you get to know the entire villain lineup. Yeah. And then you get to know the entire like neutral third party lineup. Yeah. And then the the the chess pieces change. So by the end, you're looking at a bunch of like anime, multiple, multi-colored hair. Like there's the guy with the green hair. There's the guy with the blue hair.

Is the red haired kid? Yeah. The blonde haired kid. He's a good kid and and and like you just go through it. But that slow burn of too much information eventually becomes like very coherent and eventually and just the best thing. It's almost like how Game of Thrones starts off with too many players. Yeah.

And then starts to fix that problem over time. Over time. More like immediately. Yeah, sure. But I remember I remember somewhere in like, I think maybe it was the second or third season where like the the the camera would jump around to follow like five different parties while they were up to their shenanigans. And it was like, man, I really only care about two and a half

of these parties, right? So every one of the kids is up to their own thing. And then each Lannister is up to their own thing. And maybe we'll also go check in with a fucking Greyjoy every once in a while. And it was like, oh, we could do with like no Greyjoys and like half of those kids, you know, I have an answer to my earlier Fizban confusion. Sure.

There is a book series called The Deathgate Cycle. The Deathgate Cycle. I've definitely heard of The Deathgate Cycle. Written by Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman. Yes. Which follows a fucking god damn bunch of characters. But more importantly, there's a wizard in it called fucking Zifnab. Oh, really?

Who has a and he's like, what's your name? And he's like, Fizz, I mean, Zifnab straight up. And when asked about this, the the quote is, the answer is that Fizban is a crazed wizard owned by TSR under copyright, while Zifnab is a completely different crazed wizard owned by Margaret and I. But isn't it? But hold on, didn't that also take place on Crin? No, that took place in its own goofy ass universe.

There was all like every planet to element. It was like shadow writers. I thought I thought it took place on Crin. OK, so it really was its own. Yeah, it was completely owned license, completely owned 100 percent different thing we promise. OK, so I remember I remember my friend that got me into all of these told me that they would hold on a second.

When asked for his name, he says, Fizz, no, can't use that one. Straight up. That's hilarious. You literally can't use that. That's that's great. That's really good. So Zifnab, yeah. OK, well, anyway, I was going to say that the the the the most impressive

thing I remember hearing was that they're a writing team. But like part of the part of the magic of the writing team was also that their stories were just campaigns. Yep, they played out the one that I remember the most. I converted into manuscripts is that they wanted to use a charm on a on a gnome to get through some sequence and accidentally rolled a natural 20, which caused the charm spell to become permanent. And then that became that character.

And the gnome was obsessed with and became a like NPC. Who was she in love with? Was it a race line? I believe it was a race line. It was a race line. Yeah, you had a little gnome fangirl fangirl. And she'd never leave a side. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, dude, did you ever read the one where the 13 gnomes get trapped on the magic moon? No, oh, dude, it's so awesome. Which one of the moons are the

new tarry military one, but one of them. I think it's the red ones. Solonary. I don't remember. Yeah. But they all get random magical bullshits. And one of them has like a rain cloud over his head the whole time. Wow, which is where they get fresh water to not die. But then he's like getting like super depressed because his clothes are like melting off.

And wow, he is literally being rained on 24 hours a day. That's fucked. I remember I remember they they go to Thor Barton, the the dwarf home, I think. And if I'm not mistaken, it's that the plot is the same as every dwarf plot. Yeah, which is fuck you and your kind. We're going to do our machine and we're going to do our digging. We don't need your help.

And it's like, no, but you're all going to die, though. No, shut up. And it's like, we've been fine for years. Yeah. Literally every single fucking dwarf plot line in everything. Yeah. And this time this time around twist is they hate Kender, too, because Kender Steel, but Flint and Tass are bestie besties. But it was rough going at first. Oh, man. Right.

Something, something about a dwarven woman having a good beard you can hold on to. Well, that's a gimli thing. Right. Yeah. There you go. Yeah, they fucking hated Kenders, I remember. God. So you didn't play Mass Effect 2, right? No. So in Mass Effect Race, Hatred in Mass Effect 2 or 3, I forget which one, but I remember the dialogue, like the actual definition of racism when two different alien races.

But you ask somebody. I think it's two. You ask a Turian like the bird looking dudes. How come I don't see any chick Turians anywhere? They go. Seren, dumbass. And you and you're and Sherpa goes, what? He goes, no, I'm just kidding.

No, you guys wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Oh, that's interesting. Right. It's like, oh, I'm just messing with you. But it's like they don't have our sexual tricks. Yeah, they're not as dimorphous as humans are. Sure. So you wouldn't be able to tell. Totally. But it's this nice little fucking like, oh, humans always fall for this one. Um.

What's the. There's a bunch of that in Star Trek, too, right? The don't even get me started. OK, well, I'm not trying to. But I don't. But I do. All I know is that, like, there's that the Kardashians, yeah, not Kardashians are like, you know, it's it's it's interchangeable.

You can do whatever. Sure. They're evil. Kim Yeh. Hates all. Is it warf or is it? The it's the. This sucks. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I know his race.

I know his race. Warf's race is the. This. Oh, this. So it's the Klingon. Yeah, yeah, the Klingon. There you go. Right. I forgot for a second. Right. They hate each other, right?

The Kardashians and the Klingon. Yeah. Yeah, in general, they have a super long war. Yeah, they do in DS9. They got beef. Mm hmm. Mainly because one is a bunch of dirtbags and the other is on her, but also dirtbags.

And they can't they just can't get along. No, they don't get along. No. Blanking on Klingon, huh? I've liked on Klingon. The single most famous fantasy race of all time, except for elves, I guess. Yeah, I guess so, I guess so. The wharf, what's what's the wharf?

Yeah. Yeah, fuck. I think Ferengi, actually, is a name that that that borrowed in there. Ferengi are weird because they were terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible. And then Quark, Quark, and then Quark is the shit. And then the Ferengi are saved. Who? I wonder what the most popular

alien races are. Alien race. Klingon is pretty high up there. If we were playing Family Feud, it would be pretty fucking hot. Take a hot lady. All right, you got a hot lady in your mind. Oh, OK, we're not talking about the Roddenberry style. Blue, now she's blue, you're done.

There you go. Wait, hold on, you don't think Vulcans are more popular than Klingons? Hell, no, people don't like Vulcans. But but isn't it more well known because now they're lame, they're fucking lame. But Klingons didn't become what they are until like that. They had to switch over from the black and white weirdos

into the things that we saw. I don't know what you are saying. I literally don't know what you are talking about. Old Star Trek, Spock and fucking Kirk. Right. Introduced Vulcans. That's right. So therefore that was out there from that point. That's correct. OK, now Klingons.

Yeah. Showed up in that world in a completely different with a completely different aesthetic. Yes, they did. They had a weird black and white face thing. No, no. What did they look like? They look like dudes with mustaches. OK, they look like they look like dudes with mustaches. OK, OK, never mind then.

Forget the black and white thing. That's something else. That's a completely different completely different thing. That's a that's a racism analogy episode because it's actually two different races. Awesome. One has the black on the left side. And the other is black on the right. Yes, totally not that. OK, got it. So this the one they were just had mustaches.

Yeah. And they were nowhere near as popular as Vulcans when they were introduced in that right up until Star Trek 2. Where they became the Klingons that you are familiar with. Yes. Now, you think that overtook the popularity of Vulcans from back then? Instantly. Oh, yeah. Instantly. Hmm. OK. Yeah, I it's like Christopher Lloyd to play evil Klingon in the third one. It's one of those bits where I'm like inclined to think that like stuff

that comes from the from the old era is just in the in the mindset of the people. It's in the zeitgeist harder than you think. I'm going to steal like a like a comment because it's dead on. Yeah. And it's Vulcans are so space elves that Romulans are literally dark space elves. Romulans, too, that's true. Yeah, they're literally just dark elves.

Yeah, they hate each other, too. They don't like each other. Yeah, I remember that. Because like the Vulcans are all like, oh, be calm and logical and shit. And then the Romulans are like, that shit's for pussies. Concrete bitches. So you would put you would put. You would put top of the list for Star Trek.

It's Klingon's no, but I know all all. All not all at. OK, they're at the top of the sci-fi sci-fi also. And then if you want to go fantasy, I guess the elves are winning out. You see, I people like elves and they're all willowy and shit. OK, but maybe like I like doing a tree. I think wookies are way up there. Fucking you're insane.

Oh, there's one good wookie Zalbar. That's not it's not the point. I'm not I'm not saying how good they are. I'm saying how many people that don't care about sci-fi know about. Well, luckily enough, like this entire discussion has nothing to do with the quality of the characters and everything to do with just their their mind space in the population of Planet Earth. Well, luckily enough Star Wars isn't sci-fi.

OK, OK, OK, that's it. No, that's that's cheap. I'm not going to use that. OK, wookies are not popular. OK. Well, no, I mean, and Star Trek, I'd say Star Wars, they are. But like Star Trek, so we're so I don't I have no idea. I'm just we're talking about my Star Trek and Star Wars, which is really upsetting to me because both became like fucking

incredibly terrible in the early aughts. Hmm. Hmm. Right. Like you want to fucking put a cap on the quality of these things, fucking stop at the new millennium. Is xenomorph the most popular alien? Can anyone call would they call be able to call it a zero or is you know, more 99 percent of people don't know that that thing's called the xenomorph.

No, they just it's an alien from aliens from aliens from aliens. Yeah, definitely. E.T. Fuck E.T. He's a bitch. It's E.T. He's gone, though. Yeah, E.T. died. E.T. is not around anymore. E.T. died of when I was growing up. E.T. was very much in the mind share, but now that's gone.

Yeah. I guess so when it comes to sci-fi. Yeah. Are you putting are you putting? Like, like what's your top three top three? Yeah. Is it all Star Trek for top three? No, it'd be it'd be Klingons, for sure, at the top. And then you'd get. I mean, Karen, I have to go for two and three. All right.

Sci-fi is so shitty. Every sci-fi is terrible, except for the ones that are OK. I don't know. The worms from Dune. Are you crazy? Fuck out of here. Yeah, that's Klingons and the worms from Dune. Generic Martians, you know, full on X5. Yeah, the Mars Attacks.

Mars Attacks. Yeah, there it is. That's the three most popular ever. Oh, man. In about five years time, it's going to go back to fucking Avatar Pandora. Oh, my God. The Navi. The Navi are coming back. Fuck, the Navi are coming back. They're just blue, big elves again.

But but it's always just elves. OK, so I've heard two different people on two different podcasts talk about their experience going to the Avatar movie ride at Universal or whatever. And apparently that thing is so all encompassing and it's so immersive that you get emotional when you have to leave. Oh, shut up. And these are and both of these were from people that were like,

I don't care about this stupid kids franchise, but this ride was incredible. And it's like I'm legit curious to know what would like crack the heart like a fucking cult machine. It's like it's like the like hardened asshole comedians are going, no, you don't understand, man. You have a connection with this thing by the end. It's crazy. So fucking.

And I'm like, yeah, that post Pandora depression syndrome, like whenever Avatar two and three come back, if fucking if they even happen, you want to test something, fucking throw my J to death in there. We'll really see what can crack and fucking. That's what I'm curious cynical point of view, fucking dumb ass. That's what I'm curious. That's what I'm curious. I saw that movie in theaters twice

because I really was impressed by the 3D because it was impressive. But then like the idea of like, oh my God, it's just like it's like a space planet. But all it really, really was is the fact that I'll never forget that it's like the most impressive thing they did was use 3D to create depth instead of shoot things at you. Yeah, that's all it was. Yeah, for years, we had 3D tech. When I was a kid, I went to fucking Disney. They had Captain EO with 3D in it.

Oh, look, something's falling. Yeah, objects coming at the screen. It wasn't, you know what I mean? Like we had that tech, but no one thought to make it create depth into the screen as opposed to shooting things in front of your face because shooting things in front of your face sucks. It's it's terrible. Some people like it. I don't like it.

So, yeah, that's going to take over hard. Top 10 alien races in film. Are you watching a goddamn Watchmojo video? I could hear the fucking the startup of the fucking startup of a Sunday wasted. See, I don't think this is necessarily going to be the most popular. It's just the list of the things they like. I hate this. I hate it.

I hate what I've turned this podcast into with my dumb ideas. Predators are up there for sure. Yeah, they're cool. Borg. Borg are up there. Yeah. Well, they're zombies, by the way. They're just.

I don't know shit about shit, but I have definitely of, you know, you're not super familiar with Star Trek. You get assimilated into the board. Do you ever see that you ever see that part where Picard and fucking Riker shoot a guy and his head explodes in incredibly graphic way? No, it's fucking it's fucking crazy. Hold on, let me fucking find it. I'm going to find it.

Picard shoots alien guy, head explodes. He fucking he turns in which rib cage. Which one was that? It's in TNG. It's the season one finale. OK, so this is it's fucking it's it's crazy. We've got a list here from some other website. The most memorable alien species in TV and movies.

You want it? You want it? You want to read? You want to see you want to hear this list? No, I'm good. I just want to watch this guy's head explode. OK, well, too late. I'm giving you I'm giving you the list because it actually contextualizes some of the shit we've just been talking about.

Coming in at number 14 is District nine. Fuck you. Thirteen prawns. Twelve predators. Eleven Xenomorphs. Ten Daleks. What are you doing? Get over here with my phone.

What's going on? Check out this that aired in 1989 on at eight o'clock at night. Star Trek, Picard and Riker blow up an alien. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen that. I've seen that. That was super violent. That was wild.

That was fucking crazy. Why did they do that on TV? That's insane. I remember that because I've seen that gift of the two of them shooting their phasers at things, edited into other things, right? And it's just like, yeah, that intensely being like, fucking kill you. And like, like it just cuts the other thing and then a giant war monster crawls out of its rib out of his rib cage and his torso falls to the side.

You can YouTube that at Riker and I typed in Picard and Riker. Shoot an alien. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I saw that. I see that thing. They look so determined to murder. That thing's evil. That's great.

That thing was the original board. Oh, really? Yeah, that that was the end of the season, first season. And they're like, oh, he sent a signal out to way out there. We don't know what's going on. And they were they were supposed to be the long term, like evil threat of like body snatchers and it was decided to not do that probably because it was so like laughably violent.

So instead, we got space zombies and then they came back seasons later. No, they never came back. Oh, you say when I say they were the original Borg, I mean, that was supposed they were being planned long term to fill the role that the Borg eventually. I see. Sorry. OK, I didn't. I missed and then they were like, we can't just have them fucking blowing people into actual chunks. Yeah, OK.

So we made the Borgs and the Borgs just the Borgs just grab you and teleport you away. Right. OK, because for a second, I was about to say, like, wait, how many Star Trek, like significant villains or villain races came from like a fucking prototype step race episode that then got turned into something big. But yeah, never mind. You're talking about something else entirely. Star Trek uses a lot of ideas and then drops them.

Number 10, Daleks. Fuck Daleks. You are an enemy of the Daleks. Hey, Daleks, they're stupid. You will be destroyed. Daleks look like those weird plunger based sex machines that people have. They're evil R2-D2s, bro. OK. Number nine, Jawas.

Yeah, they're OK. Number eight. Groot. Yeah, dude. That's what happens when you look at these lists. Flora Colossus is the actual. Yeah, whatever. Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel is a tree.

Groot, specifically Groot. Number seven, the Navi. Number six, Q, that's not whatever. None of the Q's other than Q are cool. It's just John DeLancey, who's cool. Looks like like Rita Rapulza here. And the red robes and the the full on head thing. Oh, my God, I can't believe how little of Star Trek you've even somehow even seen.

That's episode one. Yeah, that's literally episode one of Star Trek. Disney, but he's always he didn't always look like that. No, that's his evil judge outfit. Yeah, I've seen other outfits. So I've seen not this one, but there you go. I want to die. Well, when I hear you talk about well.

All right. This is the opposite of any red letter media discussion. Not everybody has seen everything. What do you want me to tell you? All right, cultural touchstone. Sure. It just happened to be on TV. All I gotta say is don't get it in the transporter.

I think most human beings are closer to me than you on. Took one moment. I haven't seen everything. There's a claim. There's a claim. You know, we can test that on and on many variables. Maybe, yes. I had a certain people will always be unhappy with the result,

no matter which one they get, just a personality test that at the end, it's like you're more like Woolly or you're more like Pat. Yeah, that's it. There's only the two options. I mean, the other day we're talking about we came up on on L.P. That like Reggie, like hasn't played any Metal Gear games. And we're such a Metal Gear intensive group of people. And we have a Metal Gear intensive group of fans.

And it was like, what? And I was like, yes, some people never. Well, that's OK. That series died long ago. So there's that. It's fine. But there's stuff that just ain't history. We overlap on Dragon Lance.

We don't. Nobody overlaps with me on Dragon Lance for you. That that one's weird. So everybody I say Dragon Lance to except for you goes. So it's not all forgotten realms like no. No, not forgotten realms. But then and then there's there's stuff that I have that you don't overlap on. I will not not shame you for not knowing about Star Trek.

OK, but you will be shamed. Sure. We get you know, shame. All right. Well, that's fine. I got what 90s cartoons. I don't know. What's the thing you don't write?

I don't know. Yeah. Mews. That's that's one. I don't know about me. That's one. There's a lot of really good news albums out there. You know, what do you want me to tell you? I got a contact.

Eli will help me shame you. Although it'd be different if there was an audience of people that cared more about news than Star Trek. Then this would be very different sounding. But that's not where we're at. You know, what's the worst part about what you just said? Is that there are a lot of people that care a lot about Star Trek? Yeah, Star Trek.

Like I said, Star Trek has not been good for 20 years. OK, you know, it has been good recently. Kirby games, Kirby. Yeah, Kirby's quality. Kirby games are great. I don't like they're all wonderful. I don't like Kirby games, but I admit that they are always wonderful and quality.

OK, I just don't like them. But it's just there's there's dark spots. It happened. Yeah, there's cool shit out there like Queen Sectonia that would be rad to talk about. But what are you going to know what that is? Exactly. Oh, my. And in Queen Sectonia, Kirby games, Kirby games, is it?

So it's a character in Kirby. OK. So, you know, he has characters. Yeah, we can talk about zero to all day. Oh, you're doing that shit where you're making up stuff in your in your baby game. We can we can talk about it. We can talk about Nightmare. We can talk about the nature of Dreamland. We can talk about I'm sorry.

When Kirby comes up, I have to become flandered to Pat. We can talk about the robot. We can talk about I'm sorry that your marshmallow game. The truth of what a robot is is confusing your brain with its adorable marshmallow. We goodness. See, I have no problem with the fact that all the spaces where you have Star Trek in your brain, I have Pollo.

All right. So take that entire Star Trek section and just put the word Pollo, you know, and that's where I'm at. And that's OK. You know what's interesting about that? Because like when you think about Kirby, I see you smile in your eye. Yeah, right. You don't even have to smile externally.

I see it like in your in your brain soul, whatever it's in there. Like when I think about Star Trek, I think about me. I think about Eli. I think about a fucking rich and Mike over all the red letter media. And loving Star Trek is not a sparkle in your eye. It's like giggling about how terrible that thing was. And then everyone's like, it doesn't even sound like you like this.

And then you're like, it's my favorite thing ever. Yeah, I just want to complain about it all day. Yeah. I would argue that Kirby Lore is better than Star Trek Lore. I would say it is. It is a more compelling science fiction saga than the entirety of Gene Roddenberry's work. Come at me, bro. Come at me. I'm in my tank.

Let's hear it. That is legitimately the most bizarre take I have ever heard from you ever. And I have heard you say a lot of stupid shit over years. But that might be the stupidest. It is so stupid. I don't even know how to approach it. I suggest you pause the game.

Because that's where all the lore is. What should you do this week, Willie? Well, hold on. Number five is the Ewoks. Number four is the Borg. Number five is the Ewoks. Go fuck yourselves to hell. Whoever made that list.

Number four is the Borg. Number three are the Wookies. Yeah. Number two are the Vulcans. Yeah. And drum roll please. Number one. Are the Klingons. Yeah.

So I mean, you were totally right. I feel like what I was right with Wookies are up there. I feel like Page is a really good example of the the reach that Klingons have in that she had never seen Star Trek up until two years ago. But can speak Klingon. OK. So that's fucking stupid.

I like Klingons are number one, but Wookies are up there. That thought wasn't crazy. Wookies are just dumb carpets. Hey, man. A Wookiee had the single best moment in the entire last movie. What a grand accomplishment. Yeah, I know.

But that's that's just goes to show you. Yeah. Like what's up? The single best moment in that entire thing was Chewie. Having a feel. Yeah. Was it? To me, it was. I am forgetting that movie fast. OK. Do you remember Chewie having a feel? No. Chewie has a feel and it's like.

Who's he feeling? He's feeling the loss. Oh, yeah, that's he's the only one left. I thought I for some reason I thought you meant like cop and a feel. No. And you're like describing that. It's like a great moment in movie. No, Chewie has a fucking moment where he straight up has all my friends are dead. Oh, yeah. And he breaks down and you're like, oh, my God.

He's the last one. R2D2, though. Yeah, you didn't. Sure. And the most he's going to do is go. I thought I thought you meant like like he was like fondling like a space horse or something. Pat, listen to me. Everyone felt it. I'm having a really hard time concentrating. So when you say listen to me and my eyes just kind of focus for one second

and then go back away, that's all you're going to get. Everyone felt it. OK, all his friends. I felt it. Landa was alive, but Chewie doesn't care about Landa was not alive. Chewie doesn't care. Doesn't matter. It's like, hey, you know, I'm right here. I can fucking pull.

Chewie gets up, pulls the bowcaster out. The Williams in that movie is the funniest thing I've ever seen. He's so confused and drunk. Yeah. And and then they cut part of a scene that he was supposed to have with that chick. So I guess the chick's supposed to be his daughter or whatever. No, I think it's just a let's go find. It's just it's just let's just give these two characters that have no.

Well, they have no arc. Let's give them an or if they have no arc, then it's like a 95 year old Lando Calrissian sitting next to some some broad at the wind and going, yeah, let's go on an adventure together, the old lady. And it's like me and the other guy to my left, who I didn't know just went. Is he trying to fuck that chick at the victory ceremony? It was weird. I don't know.

It was really weird. Anyway, Chewie was good in that. I think the best thing about Chewie is his name. Chewbacca. No, Chewie, Chewie's a great name. That's why we use it for our our our gag. Yeah, I like I like Chewbacca as far as an alien sounding. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, Wookiees, there you go. Bam, way up there.

I hit Star Wars now. No, you don't. I like the laser sword part. Yeah, you do. It's like you finished Mandalorian. No, I didn't even start it. OK. What did I do? Two things of note, I guess. That's good.

That's content. The first thing of note I did was commence playing Spec Ops the line. Yes, I am. I don't know, I guess three and a half to four hours in. According to HLTV, that's probably halfway. But I have never played it because I have never seen a game that I was more thoroughly spoiled on. OK. Like I couldn't escape it.

I've somehow dodged all of it. Yeah, I've been I've somehow dodged all of it and been clean. But considering it at considering what it is a product of at the time, considering it's a Nolan North third person game and considering it's a military shooter, bang, bang, bang, bang. I'm assuming that, oh, you know, you're not doing the right thing is probably where we're going to go. That seems like there's a there's a very limited

yeah, series of reasons why everyone would care. Why everyone would care exactly right and why I would see. I remember I remember when I first first I it's not the first time I heard of it, but the first time it was like presented to me as something besides just another sort of shooter was when I saw like a pyramid of feels games. Yeah, that put Walking Dead season one as baby's first feel. Yeah. And it put

Spec Ops the line as the ground. I think I think I like I think it was in an interview with one of the writers or whatever. Yeah, I'm not going to say the name of the work, but they spoiled the game before the game came out. That's insane, because they said we're really trying to go for a blank type of story. OK, and it's if you had read that movie. Sorry, if you had watched that movie or read that book,

whichever it happens to be, you would be able to look at the trailer for the game and literally know everything. Gotcha. And it was and it was like thanks. Yeah, it's it's as if if you had a like a fantasy fantasy RPG. Yeah, like kind of old timey looking like Game of Thrones. And they're like, we're really inspired by the story of Macbeth. Yeah. And you're like, you damn it. Just told me what the plot like a hundred like a hundred percent.

Veronica Mars talking about Assassin's Creed one. I don't know what that is. She did an interview well before the game was like out. And it was all it was was introduced and they showed you Altaïr walking through like acre, I think, and sneaking up on some guards and doing some. Oh, do you mean the actress? Yeah, I thought you meant the character.

No, as you said, Veronica Mars. No, Kristen Stewart. No, no, I'm a penitent here. No, you keep getting that wrong. It's not a penitent here. Kristen Bell, you got that. Why do I? I don't know why. Yeah, he's blonde one.

I can tell. Yeah, no, not until dawn, not twilight. You can't tell them Veronica Mars. Yeah, Kristen Bell in the very first interview, first Assassin's Creed. What the whole literally. So all we had seen was just like the assassin walking through the fucking, you know, the old days and whatever. And then she's like, yeah, it's kind of like the matrix.

Yeah, meets some other like like like ancient. I read that interview like five minutes after it came out and like then that interview fucking disappeared. What are you doing? Yeah, so because her her role is not in the past. So she's talking about like what role she plays attached to this project. Yeah. It's only going to be the future.

It's it's my ongoing big favorite thing in the game industry is that, hey, do you want to know way too much about a game? Find a voice actor who's from Hollywood and talk to them because they do not know what they're not supposed to tell you. And they also don't care because they're a TV or Hollywood actor. And this game thing is whatever. So I also I also kind of got the gist that like Spec Ops is like part of its, you know,

its impact in the zeitgeist, so to speak, is because of it being a product of the time. Yeah, because it was in the it came out during the like 2013, the heaviest of the fucking third person cover based shooter era. Right. And it looks just like another one of those. So any any unexpected things work best when it's masked as something else entirely, basically. Yeah. So, you know, we'll see.

But so far I'm just playing through it. And clearly, it's a game where like, you're not going to fucking get anything until you get there. Yeah. So so far, it's a third person shooter and it's got cover in a roadie run. Yeah. And it's got Nolan Nolan. Scott Nolan doing Nolan and it's got young Nolan. Yeah, I'm no I'm Nolan. And he and then you can target your target your things and that's what it is.

I like that, you know. Playing that game sucks, though. The story is really good, but the playing of it is just kind of weak. So I started out on the PC and it started fucking dying very quickly. Super. So I had to switch over to PS3 where the shoot buttons aim and shoot were L one and R one. That was extremely common. And there's no switching that up.

Nope. Even though the triggers are on the but, you know, whatever PlayStation three PlayStation three had terrible triggers for shooting. You will prefer the L one and R one. I promise. But here's the crazy part, right? Here's the crazy part is that like that was the controller that introduced the push triggers. Yeah. Because like the six axis and the DualShock three

created gun trigger. No, it's not gun trigger, but there were analog buttons, right? And not analog buttons, but they were they had more give to this. Not true. The Xbox 360 did. Sorry, that's not OK. Let me rephrase the PS2 controller. Yeah. Immediately before this one had had the R one and L one, R two and L two, pretty much the same.

Yeah. And then when the PS3 came out, the six axis and then the DualShock three, yeah, had changed R two and L two. Yeah. The squishies, which you would think would be more like gun triggers. Yeah. But in this case, the game did not use the gun trigger buttons. I don't know how many of these types of games you played at the time. Yeah. When three 60 games were getting ported to the PS3, games did use the triggers for shooting. Yeah. And every one complained because it was terrible.

They just weren't good. Are terrible buttons. Yeah. OK. So then games started to put them on L one in our because the controller sucked because the controller is bad. Got it. OK. Makes sense now. If you go back and play, I think, Uncharted one, you can play on the L two and R two. And it's like, oh, see, what's wild is not allowing a free remap of the buttons.

Games are due to that later as well. I didn't realize that we had to be post three 60 era for some games to get remapping in there. And some games still don't have remapping controls. Is a is a topic for my part of the podcast later. Actually, I mean, Titanfall 2 didn't have full remapping. You worked in QA. Is there some kind of nightmare scenario with remapping buttons?

It's just a part of the test. OK. But it's not like no remapping buttons is like 100 times more bug worthy. No, you just you once you have the ability to remap buttons, then as you do subsequent playthroughs, you always do a different, you know, make sure to make sure. But ultimately, like it's still you're going to play the game because I can't stand when a bunch of times either way. You're playing like a shooter or whatever.

And it's like they have five different remaps. And you have to pick between one and all you want to do is change one button. Exactly. Yeah. So that's what I got off of Titanfall, for example. Like I'm going to segue into my bit and then go back to your bit for a second. I'm playing Resident Evil Zero right now. Yeah. The controls are so fucked up. Yeah. They're fucked up in every

Resident Evil game to date, you can put run as square. So the run is square and then X is confirmed. And then you hold down a trigger and then shoot with X. And, you know, like, yeah, that's where your thumb rests. And in for RA zero, there are five different controller configs and all of them have run on B. OK, every single one. So and then for some reason, unlike remake,

which has the shoot and change target on the triggers, yeah, this one has them on the bumpers and just let and and map has been moved from Y to left. But it like it they've just fucking shoveled them around like crazy for no reason. So what's crazy is that the 360 and then now PS4, if at worst comes to worst, put the can down. No, I want to drink it. Well, then finish it at can crinkling ASMR for you kids at home at worst.

If the game can't do it, then the console OS will have game defaults. Yeah, worth where you can actually remap the buttons on a system like I had to do it through steam. Yeah. So you can do that on some, you know, on some games for some games, but it like it fucking sucks to have the full system remap a controller for one game. Yeah. That there really needs to you need to be able to go and set it per game. It's not shouldn't be that hard.

It's not that difficult. No. I know that in some cases, there could be exploits found in that way. Some people are doing things in Smash Brothers by like mapping. They mapped like a certain attacks to the sea stick and allowed them to do stuff with Ness that you otherwise couldn't do. I mean, luckily, that's not a competitive fighting game. So there's always concerns that, I don't know, maybe if you put

like D-pad options, if you put, you know what I mean? Like you put like shoot on a D-pad and it'll open up some fucking crazy gate to something. So you do have to, you know, but for the most part, full free, full free mapping should be a thing because, yeah, that's a that's a weird one right now. And also people who have like fucked up hands or like motor disabilities or whatever, they really appreciate controller remapping.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. But beyond that, not much to say about it until I'm done. Yeah, pretty much, you know. And then what you do have to say about it will be couched in spoiler talks. So there we are. So, yeah, that can that's going on right now on the channel. And then the other thing of note this week that I did was I had a game. I had a board game table lords night that went off.

Day before yesterday. So, yeah, Saturday, played a game called Dialect. And so Dialect is I'm going to assume this is a dialogue based game. Dialect is a storytelling game. This was recommended by one to mellow and the premise of the game sounded so fascinating that I had to go check it out immediately. And what that was is a. It is a game that is cooperative and it is kind of like you get together

and more or less are trying to tell a tale with your characters in a setting from the beginning to, you know, the epilogue, right? And in it, you're creating language. Or more specifically, you're creating slang, right? OK, so the idea, the idea that is that's pitched on the on the cover of it is this is a game about language and how it dies. OK, right. And so what you have is a number of campaigns where you can pick a setting

where a group of people are isolated from everyone else. So the examples they give you are. Let's see. The first Martian settlers got it. A slave uprising got it. The last robots left behind after humans abandoned the earth. That's a sad one, right? Things like that.

And some of them are even like a boarding school that a bunch of for boys. Sure, isolated, you know, or whatever. And then you basically have you have that setting. And then within that setting, you have to talk communally to create some aspects that define what the culture is, what it's about, what the main ins and outs of your your life are and why there are such. And because of these major aspects, you can then pull cards out of a deck after you you create characters.

Yeah, they have roles and then you can pull cards out of a deck that are concepts that you can apply to these aspects. I'm going to need a concept. Right. So for example, first Martian first Martian colony, right? The aspects that the board agreed on were we are space truckers. Got it. We do our trucking. Got it.

That's our jobs. The other is we are running from our past. All right. Space truckers running from their past. Right. And the third one was we are chosen. OK, so they buy. So they basically take the two concepts of we are chosen and we are running from our past to be we did some bad stuff in our past. Thus, we were chosen as convicts

slash truckers for exactly to be the first Martian people's first space truckers. Right. And so you're kind of on a set. You're you're set up. You guys are pretty much like prisoners sent to this colony to truck. Right. To truck and so on. So those are the aspects. So then you go, all right. So there's things that are dangerous about space trucking, such as

Martian ascends. Yeah, the most dangerous thing about space trucking, if I could think about it, was that when you're hanging your arm at the space truck and you're on a long haul, you get a tan, but only one side of your body. Because the sun's always over there. Yeah. Or sometimes your CB radio cuts out. And then you can't be a convoy. Either way.

So an example would be an example would be that we're space truckers, right? Then you would pull out a card that has a concept that says friend. Right. You're going to have a concept for someone that you can trust when things get rough. You play that friend card on top of your aspect, which is space truckers. OK. And then you go, all right, what would a space trucker on Mars? Call a friend.

And they're like, and then you have a conversation about it. And you go, what about like a secondary point of contact? Right. And it's like, OK, that's a secondary point of contact. Now, that shortens into like an SPOC or a Spock. But that that just sounds like Spock, so that's no good. So then what about secondary communicator and SC? OK, what about an SC? So now an SC becomes a term for a friend you can trust in the midst of these storms.

Sounds like a fucking game for language nerds. It was made by linguists that are really into the languaging. And because don't don't ever suggest me to play this game because I'm just going to name everything like. Shit, man. Yeah. So if you don't feel like having fun with like creative sort of thoughts on like nicknames and slang, yeah, then you're not going to have a good time. Right. You just do the FF seven thing where you name everybody like dumb bullshit.

You can pull an HP Lovecraft. I don't think I can. The the the the forms never came back. I filed my paperwork. Yeah. My card. Yeah. Never got a call back. How about that? Well, anyway, you definitely have to play this cooperatively and have fun discussing coming up with like world building and language in this way.

And if you don't enjoy that, then this is not going to work out, right? But if you think that's cool, then it's like, OK, so now our friends are called Essies, right? And then you come up with little things like that. So like a word for a thing that you do in this world, right? Once you create that word, you then have a discussion with another character about or not about like using that word. So you so you improvise a role playing moment

that your two characters would have where you work this word into the conversation. I think because I'm not very creative. Yeah, I don't understand the point of this game. So the point of the game is the win. How do you win? You just tell the story and get to an ending. What? But how do you win? There's no winner lose as much as there is a enjoy the story being told aspect of it. That's what a storytelling game is.

I didn't know this about the genre until this game. But the idea is, you know, you can and things can happen along the way. Characters can die. Things can change. Can I kill all of your characters? You can. Then I win. But there's still other things to be sorted out, right? So your character has control over whatever aspects of the world there are there. Your class is so like one of so my class was like an explorer.

OK, right. Whereas like Steph was like an oracle was the information getter. I was the person going out into the unknown and finding new things. You know, there's like little things like that where you kind of just like you can you can play however you want. The thing develops. In our case, it worked out in such a way where Reggie ended up being like a super antagonist. I hate this because these types of games always make me feel so stupid.

Why? Because I feel really stupid right now because I'm still I'm still literally stuck on. But how do you win? OK. So let me let me let me let me walk. Let me let me let me walk you through. Yeah, because like I have to explain the interaction between characters. Sure. As a turn. There are a number of turns before you get to the ending.

OK, so after everyone takes their turn making a word, we have like say four words on the board. Sure. That that's the end of the first age. OK, time moves forward and a prompt in the book says something happens, right? Like something changes the situation. Right. So these space trucker prisoners that are all doing their their their daily thing.

Right. So like for example, like like being a so you another word that got played was like a greeting, right? And they put you put the word greeting on top of we are running from our past. Yeah. And it's like, OK, so we're over former criminals. Right. And what would they come up with? And so they're like, well, what if we took a thing that met one thing and kind of played it around? So they're like, OK, the greeting for space prisoner truckers is pardon. OK.

Because it's like a thing you would say in the middle of a conversation. Sure. But it also represents an idea of something you might want to get. All right. So you have these words that build up and you use them in conversations as you go. And then something happens such as at the end of the first age or the beginning of the second age, someone trucks way out into the way beyond where you usually where you usually truck truck and they find somewhere deep on Mars. Another shipment pre landing container.

And they open it up and they find a bunch of like supplies for another drop ship and some weapons in there. So you go, oh, this is bad. What does this mean? Right. And it means Earth is sending more people over to us. Right. So the people who are like, man, fuck Earth to begin with are now like, wow, they want to come and fucking take us out or we don't know what's going on. What do we do? Right.

And then like the chat that changes the isolated community so that, for example, people that decide, you know what, fuck those old earth people, right? They're going to come and they're going to they want to come for us or whatever. We're going to fight them. So then as you move into age two, the card that says we are running from our past becomes we are fighting our past. OK. You're confused. Were you taking turns to do this?

We were taking turns having a word be created and then using a having a conversation. OK, after we all have one of those talking. Yes, after we all go around the table and do it, the end, the age ends. I think part of I think part of my confusion is that you describe this at the very beginning as a board game. It is because they're a board. There is a table. There's cards on the table and we are writing on them.

OK, but there's no pieces. There's no pieces. OK. It's more like it's a brainstorming session. I mean, what is so tabletop D&D? There's no pieces. D&D has pieces. D&D can have pieces, but I've never played with them. I've only played with paper and dice. Right. So this is a what if you don't want to

associate the word board game with it, that's fine. But no, because I'm I'm like the whole time I'm like thinking like. So we have a conversation. I'm like, then where do you move your piece? Tabletop game. OK, I guess. All right. So what the board, what the what the table looks like is like you have three circles that are for each age. And then you have

words that you write on cards and put them within these age rings kind of. Right. So anyway, so yeah, we just take turns creating words, having conversations with them, and then those all like, you know, sort of establish things about our characters or whatever. And then you move on to the next stage and then the next step of the story happens. Is there like a five age limit or something?

Three. Three. OK. Yeah. So just naturally ends and then after that. And then the second will cause another ramp up of escalation. And then the third age will always be in every story about how your community comes to an end. Right. So you know, it's going to be something bad where your unique like language and dialect is going to die off or whatever. But you have to like just kind of see how that plays out and whatever by

following sort of like these ideas, creating new words. Sometimes you'll get a prompt, let's say, towards the end of the game. That's like, create a portmanteau. Take two previously created words and find a way to put them together for a new concept or something like that, you know. Yeah. What's confusing? This just sounds like a shittier version of Loopy Lore. It's because I understood that game.

Yeah. But this is the Loopy Lore. Loopy Lore is really fun. But this is more about like inventing slang. Why would you do that? OK, whatever, Pat, anyway, man, like, what do you want me to tell you? So anyway, so that's the game. Jesus, like, it's not that complicated. It's not that hard.

I feel like you're acting to make it seem more complicated than it is. You fuck. I wish I was like you're making these faces. Like, what do you say? Like, what am I saying? That's hard to follow. You don't know what it's like in here. Like, there's what part of what I mean? What am I saying is so weird or confusing? You sit around, right?

You have your role playing like a D&D game. Yeah. Well, do you want to you want me to go back in time to like a month and a half ago where I fucking like talked to the people in my discord for like three and a half hours about not understanding the concept of GTA five role playing? Trust me, OK, I am not putting it on. OK, I don't understand. OK, so no, you understand.

You just don't get why that's fun to people. That's what I mean by it. OK, so that's so whatever. If you don't have fun with it, you can still that's not the same as I don't understand the concept at all. Well, yeah, because if I don't understand it, why does it exist? Can I just describe the game? Yeah, sure. All right.

So anyway, at the end of the third age, you pull out a legacy card. And that'll tell you it'll give you a couple of options about how to give your character an epilogue, right? All right. And then you all will choose your character's epilogue. And you kind of like because you're telling them to the table, you can work them all together to create a definitive ending, so to speak, that, you know, if your guy dies, my card might then I might have to make my thing about the reaction to your death or something like that fall out.

Yeah, yeah. And or like the baby you've left behind. And I'm now going to, you know, like you oh, you fell off the tower. OK, cool. Well, I won my fight against you. And you found a kid hiding behind a pillar. Yeah. Get over here, Rock Howard. Right. Yeah. That's and then we and then we walk off into the sunset and that's the ending. Right. So but whatever happens, you have these like this unique dialect of slang that you kind of created.

There's no wonder it's like a cooperative. Yeah. And we all had fun telling the story. Well, if this if you if you're able to improvise a good story together and it's not too shitty or or like clunky, then you have fun improvising a story, you know, it's I'm reminded of a D&D game I was invited to 14 years ago in which the party was like, hey, let's go to this event. And I was like, I don't want to. And I went elsewhere and then did something.

I think I killed some guy because he was a dick. And that guy ended up being important. And then I was like, OK, well, that was fun. I can't make it next week. And they're like, we literally can't play our D&D session. Yeah. Without your character now. Yeah. Because you fucked it up. Yeah. And I apparently ruined their whole campaign.

Yeah. And I was like, I don't get it. I thought it's all your imagination. Do whatever you want. Wow, you're a piece of shit. I don't understand. You're the worst. Why don't they just imagine that I didn't happen? People like you are fucking trash. I don't get it. I like the whole point is you're supposed to be able to do whatever you want

because it's an imagination. So why would anyone ever get mad at what I used my imagination to do? Yeah. So, you know, in a movie, when someone dies before you get to film the sequel, yeah, and then you got to fucking figure some shit out. Yeah. You know how that's never as great as it would have been if you had a shot at it. You don't know that. OK, but you know how it's usually like not

it you like, OK, fuck, write the character out. Yeah. Or worse, you know how sometimes there's a story that's going on. And then one of the one of the people in the in the story pretends to get attacked by white supremacists and fakes being like attacked and having gasoline poured on them and and then calls into the police with a lynch fucking rope around their neck. And the cops go, why do you have that on your neck? And they're like, why did you take it off?

Oh, OK, I wanted to show you. All right. Right. Yeah. And then they go on stage and they call themselves the gay Tupac. OK. Right. So when someone does that and then they're no longer welcome back on the show, right, that they were a part of, you have to find a way to write a season without them somehow. Right. And it sucks and creativity fucking excels in adversity.

It can. But it doesn't always do so. Well, then why doesn't see House of Cards? I don't. Then why doesn't. Isn't the DM's job to stop this? No, the DM's job is to do the best they can with what they have. No, no, but DMS can just stop things. If they want to, they could be like, you can't go that way. A dragon will kill you.

Well, they can roll dice. A good DM. A good DM lies. This I know. A good DM. A good DM will manipulate it so that you can believe the reasons why you can't go through that. It is. It is. It has been my understanding from knowing many people who play D&D that a good DM will roll dice behind that little board. Yeah. And just say whatever the fuck they want.

Yeah. A good, a good DM. Well, a good DM will hide all the invisible choices from you like a David Cage game. Right. Let's be real. They can. But that doesn't change the fact that when in the middle of a conversation or a fight, if a character suddenly just disappears and never comes back, it's a little bit hard to work that out. I was busy that following.

Yeah. So, you know, everyone kind of fucking hates those people. It is what it is. And that being said, that's not the point. Well, the whole point of that was to be like, no, trust me, this is not an act. This is all real confusion. OK. But I don't understand, make believe. When I watch 40 man raids, I don't think it looks fun.

Right. But I can understand the process of what is happening. Sure. As people get together and beat a thing to get cool rewards. But that's the thing that I don't get because make believe doesn't have a process. It's all just in your head. You know how people do improv? Yeah. Right. Christ, we do improv. Yeah, I guess we do. In fact, we're doing it right now. Somewhat. I tend to prefer it's not my favorite form of comedy.

Yeah. In fact, it's pretty low down the priority chain. But when someone comes in and improvs correctly or well by making funny things happen or you doing something really interesting or entertaining, then you get a really cool moment out of it. Right. There's a cool local group that does some amazing improv stuff that I'm like, that's like one of the only improv groups I like. Or, for example, have you ever watched and enjoyed an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway? I did. Yes. OK.

So that principle is the same. That was for humor. People aren't playing D&D for humor. So the same principle behind the entertainment of improvising on Whose Line Is It Anyway can apply to sitting together with your friends and playing a storytelling game. It doesn't have to be humor. It can just be really cool. It can just be an enjoyable adventure, a unique set of circumstances

that you find fascinating or interesting. You can think about a character that you might be like, oh, yeah, that's a that's a fun idea. And you know what? If your role playing and your storytelling session goes great enough and you happen to be, I don't know, Margaret Weiss or Tracy Hickman, maybe you can write an awesome story out of it. OK.

So you get to the end of the story and then that's pretty much it. The game is Dialect. I had a fun time playing it. And I think that it's it's really unique. I've never played a game like it. But I will say, if you are going to grab it and take a look at it, it's a book, it's got a lot of reading in it. And many of those pages are not about the game itself and the rules of play.

Many of those pages are about how to, you know, like how to make a good word or what have you. How to how to how to be nice to fellow players and how to how you should live your life. Wait, really? A little bit. And don't yell down that someone's word is fucking stupid. Is in the rules? Things like that. OK. How to be, you know, conscientious seems like the kind of thing

born out of versions of this game that got super intense. No. Oh, no, it's I think it's just a little bit on the preachy side. Oh, seriously? Yeah. And I really I was having a bit of a hard time just getting to the rules because I just want to play and I can't because there's so much preface that's all about how to how to eggshell your friends, the friends you're playing with. And then the last section of the book is about like

how to preserve language in real life and things you can do to be open and I know, man, we're part of the internet generation. The idea of preserving language seems so laughable that I can't even. I know we all it was not lost on us that we were playing this in a in a province that tried to separate from Canada due to language preservation. Right. So we definitely understood that a setting could be made for an isolated Quebec. Oh, yes. You know, but it doesn't permit to buy an English muffin.

But literally, there's parts of the book that have page like there's a page called raised bilingual children, you know. So there's these bits and pieces in there where I'm like, man. Are you fucking for real? That is preachy. I swear to God, that is preachy as shit. I'm it is and I'm just trying to be like, listen, this game is a really cool concept.

I would love it to have a quick start card. Yeah, because that would be an awesome way to just be like, do this and reference it on this page, right? So then you have almost the book would almost serve as a DM guide. But this is not what the case is. The book is about 150 pages. I would say 30 or them are dedicated to the game itself. The rest are either preface about the importance of telling stories.

This is oh, God, or the other thing I was talking about, which is just the the kind of preachiness of it. And it's thick, it's thick, and I'm not going to pretend that it's not there. So just keep that in mind going into it. Maybe if you don't mind that stuff, maybe it was just me on a personal level that I was like rolling my eyes, greeting through it, but it's still a cool game. Otherwise, the concept is fun.

And I would I would recommend checking it out. I know you can grab a PDF online. I think it's thorny games are the name of the folks that made it. So that's going to be coming up in a multi part series on table lords over at Willie versus. And for those of you who have been waiting for a kind of like role playing campaign sort of tabletop thing, adventure from table lords, this will be it.

This will be this will be a good example of that. So this is going to be something that is like a multi part story building session. Most of the game is world building, right? 80 percent of the game is world building, and then 20 percent of the game is like having these little conversations and using the language. And so when it seems like the setup is long, don't worry about it because the setup is the game, you know? Yeah, but for those of you who are looking forward to some of that,

you can check it out upcoming soon on Willie versus alongside SpecOps, the line. And of course, Death Stranding continues. And, you know, get into fighting games and so on. Creating things is weird. Creating things is weird. I agree. It's so weird that I have a podcast to talk about it because it has so many weird things that you don't expect to happen. That also is going to be coming out.

So you can check that out. Willie will figure it out on Willie versus as well. I feel like I whenever this type of conversation comes up, I feel so insane as to actually even feel isolated because especially in like this line of work. Yeah. Almost all of my colleagues are some form of creative.

Yeah. And I all like the first thing that pops into my mind when somebody's like, yeah, I'm going to create something. I'm like, why create something? Why not just consume a better thing that someone else made and then you don't have to do it? You're talking into a podcast microphone on a podcast I created. Well, I mean, yeah, you created it.

Why would I create a podcast when you made a better podcast? And then now I just sit here and just talk. Well, so no one's telling you to have fun with the idea that you can't that you don't have fun with. Right. It's just a live and let live scenario. Right. Right. So if you know, I don't want anyone to stop doing things that they enjoy. I just wish I could even like grasp with my fingertips

as to why they are enjoying it because the face you make is not one of I wish I could grasp. No, it's a face of total confusion. OK, it's no that. Sorry, maybe I'm my head is bad. But like it is a it is like I like like bafflement. OK, because there are things that I think people do for fun that are not fun at all.

Yeah, I think I made a there's a comment I made where somebody said somebody on my stream a few nights ago was like, hey, I thought Ari Six was really fun because I played it with my friend and it was really fun in co-op. Yeah. And I said people can find anything fun in co-op. People poop in each other's mouths and have fun in co-op because they're with their friend or whatever. I don't think that's fun to do.

But some people do people free solo climb. Yeah, that is to me the least fun thing in the world. Yeah, because you could die. Yes. However, I can wrap my head around the idea that some people get so skilled at normal climbing that they want to take it to the next level. No fun anymore. And the adrenaline shoot. Needs to be, you know, yeah, as high as possible.

Kick it up. So I'm able to go fair enough. That's horrifying to me. Yeah. But I get why it's fun for them. And that's that's it. Yeah, that's it. It's just a OK. It's not for me, but I know why it exists. And that's all you have to have as an attitude. Yeah, but I don't even get there.

I don't even get to the part where like, but why would this be fun? It makes me feel like my brain is broken. And if there was like two of you, then you two, you might talk about I have to fight my clone. No, if you might you might discuss how people who do that make no sense and shouldn't be around. And if there were like 10 of you, then you might like come to the idea that those are the bad people.

If there are a hundred of you, do you see where this goes? Well, no, you need those people around so that they can make things for you to enjoy. But if the people are doing the thing that you don't like, well, here's the thing. And this is really important. Live and let live. This is no, no, no, this is really important. There are two types of Pat craziness. There's the one where I'm like, everything should be this way. And then there's the one like this, where I'm like, I realize that Pat is the problem.

OK. Pat is Pat's brain. Very problem. OK. So maybe I'm missing part of my brain, the creative part. You know, it was really funny because when I thought I was going to talk about dialect, right? Yeah, I thought I was going to just break the game down as it was. And it would be a pretty straightforward, uneventful breakdown of like, oh, that's an interesting game about language. And then I'd get to the preachy part and then that would be where it all went to shit.

But I couldn't even get past chapter one. Yeah. I don't get language. I don't get language. We should all just have the one language. That seems simpler. Esperanto or whatever the fuck Esperanto. Yeah, fuck it.

So I'll just learn that. I would learn that right away if. I could guarantee that everybody else would learn it also. And we'd throw English and French and Spanish and all the others in the trash and be like, that's the language of the old world. And what are polyglots supposed to do? Fucking get owned, I guess. Damn, you just got a shit on Laos you like that?

Oh, that is a YouTube guy that like speaks. He won't say how many languages, but a ridiculous amount. And he literally just records himself walking around. He's a black guy walking around talking to various people from various cultures and fucking their day up. I mean, you can you can enjoy being an expert of a formally important topic like those who could prepare Model T fords. See, the problem with that is that like any linguist will tell you that language

actually informs how you think. I hate linguists. Do you like grammarians? No, okay. Well, any linguist will tell you that language affects how you think. Yes, and it can be proscriptive or descriptive. That's not even where I was going. I was going to say your L one, the language you learn first is often going

to describe like what and how you break the world down. Right. And in some cases. I've heard from linguists that this is possibly why, for example, people who learn Chinese first and think in Chinese are better at mathematical things because the language actually lends itself towards that type of thinking. Yeah, sure. But that's not a problem if everybody learns one language.

No, but then you lose the you lose that option. Oh, well, but that option might be worth it for that benefit. Well, you say, eh, but then you're losing out on good shit. He's not is not the ability to talk to any person on the planet seems like a great advantage. That seems really useful. Okay, the dissolution of all human borders. Okay, I don't know how true that we just need to get to human instrumentality.

I don't know. I don't know how true that specific example I was given is and it seems like most folks are saying that was a terrible stupid idea. So fair enough. If that sounds insane and dumb, then I'm insane and dumb and I'll. Well, you see the I'll take that hit. You see the divot on the skull. Yeah, really shows all.

I'll take that math comes. I'll take that hit as someone who's just repeating what a linguist told me. I'll take that hit. I didn't I did. I didn't this is why you don't trust linguists because they're evil. I didn't think twice about it. I didn't think twice about it. I simply heard that and went, okay, you probably know what you're talking about.

You know what reminds me of when I stopped like whenever someone's like, oh, yeah, I'm a language expert. I was like, hmm, is when I remember fucking language students back in university, you're like, oh, man, if only we could just observe a feral child for long enough and have them create their own feral language. Yeah, learn so much. Sure. And it's like, put your fucking boner away.

You psycho like when those those five or six siblings were found in like an apartment where they lived for their whole lives and they created their own language of like grunts and yeah, this is caveman shit. Yeah. And then like everyone was like, this is horrifying. And then a couple of linguists were like, oh man, but it's so interesting. The data. Yeah.

The data for you. Yeah. Okay. So, you know what? If that sounds inside, if that sounds entirely insane, then yeah, that's somebody who talks incorrectly on purpose for humorous effect. Linguists are my natural enemy. That being said, though.

If that specific example is wildly nuts, I still imagine the idea of you thinking differently based on your language. Oh, that's cool. Your first language is still that sounds factual. Sure. Right. That part of it's not wildly wrong. The one that it makes me think of is like languages that have masculine and

feminine pronouns per object. Yeah. And it's like a ship is a lady. Yes. And a bridge is a man. Yeah. I mean, you know, and stuff like that. There's bits like that and all that stupid shit.

Or yeah, or even like, like, like your ability to read a long ass word. Yeah. Like with like everything space, like no spaces and like a crazy long German word or something like that. But yeah, anyway, language is an accident and I will not be told how to talk by no fancy book learner. Tower of Babel, though. Yeah.

So I thought you have all people would be gunner for the one language future as the big middle finger to God. I'm down. Okay. But I'm down with the idea of a universal in addition to our individual. Oh, yeah, sure. You know, I mean, you can't make people forget their old languages. No, I mean, you literally can't.

So I'm super down with like switching to fucking Babel fish or Galactic basic. Yeah. Yeah, totally. I'm that that's all fine by me. I think that needs to happen. I think that should not. I think that should exist. But I don't but I but it's the difference between getting rid of all the old languages

versus introducing a universal secondary. No, I don't think we should get rid of all the old ones. They can exist. That's not how it sounded a minute ago. Well, no, I mean, I said, in fact, I think you literally said we should get rid of all the languages or the sentence to that effect. I believe a sentence to that effect. You know, that's possible.

Yeah. What I meant was is we should like just have them get old in the dirt. Yeah, like. What's language like Latin? Latin's old. Latin's very old. People don't talk it no more. Sounds really cool when you sing it though.

Yeah, it does. I remember I was listening. I was I started up Final Fantasy eight and they play the Latin music. Yep. There and my dad walked in and thought I was listening to devil worship. Yep. Because it was in Latin. Sure.

And I was like, it's a Jesus dad. It's like it's not even your way off. Smash Brothers. The Matrix. Oh, good old Matrix. There's all kinds of really cool times when you want someone singing in Latin. It's good shit. But why would you ever make something?

Because if enough people think it's cool, you can get really rich. That's true. Wouldn't it wouldn't it be faster to just have somebody else make something for you and then steal that idea? Yes. But if you get caught stealing it, then you have to pay them or go to jail. Well, no, I mean, like not like like steel steel, but like. No, it's not steel.

No, no, like like copy. Like this is my idea because you work for me. Steel. No, that's not how that works. But that is stealing. No, no, it's not. Totally it is. It's like, you know, when a company is talking about exit through the gift shop.

No, no, no, what? I don't know what that is. There was a movie about Mr. Brainwash, who was a guy that was created who basically he's an artist and what he did was follow Banksy around for a while. And then he realized that like he could become pretty influential as an artist if he were to hire other artists to create work in his name. And then he did that. And then he made a large exhibition under his name with the work of other artists and

they all came in were paid to do a job making pieces in this large piece that he was taking credit for. And then he got super famous off of that. Yeah, what's wrong with that? Well, it was his idea. No, no, it was his idea. But it was his idea to pay people to do art. Sure.

So the credit is not being appropriately credited to the people who did the pieces if you want. It was his idea. The whole thing. Yeah. So he could take. So it's his idea. Well, what is it? To have the art.

Yeah. No, no, what is it though? Specify what it is. I just said the have the art. Okay. Cool. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense.

No. The show is his idea. He can take credit for the name of the show. Right. The location. He can take credit for everything happening in the show that is not the pieces of art. The pieces of art can get credited to the individual. It's like, you know when, you know, when a fucking like a tech company, like you go work for a

tech company. Yeah. And they go, any idea you have here is our idea. Yeah. Yeah. So that's that's and that's also see that started as something to why not just do that instead make something yourself. So that started as something to be like, Hey, don't steal from what we're doing and use

it on. Right. Yeah. And then it kind of went overboard to become like, no, what you make here is on our time. We're not paying you to make other things and then eventually just became we're taking your good shit. Yeah. But like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to roll it way back.

Yeah. Way back. But this is what happens when I entertain your bullshit. I know. No, no, no, I'm, I'm, I appreciate it. Yeah. But like, let's go back to like caveman shit. Okay.

Okay. Why not? Okay. Say like, you know, we're hunting, me and you are hunters, right? And and you're like, I'm going to go out there and kill like a deer and we hit it with a stick. Okay. It'll die and then I'll have a deer.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Why, why should I go and kill the deer? Why not just be like pathetic and miserable so that you give me some of your deer? Okay. So if you have something to offer me that I want, no, just take it, then you can't have it.

Well, if I have the ability to go get the deer and you don't, then you can, you and your family can starve and die. Okay. And I will go get the deer. If you have something to offer me that I want, then I will trade you some deer for it. Okay. But you definitely can't get it just for being ex, for breathing and being pathetic.

Okay. So you have to create, you're a jerk. You have to create a barter or is your sense of empathy for your fellow caveman. What use do you have? You're a mouth to feed that makes the food disappear faster. What else do you do? I could, uh, I could, yeah. So the food disappears faster.

Hold on. Hold on. I could. Okay. Okay. What I could do is I could find out that you like fire to cook your food for you. Okay. And I could find somebody to make fire.

Okay. And give them some of a, give them a piece of the food that you give to me. Okay. In order to make fire. Okay. So what happens is that works the first time. Right. But then I start directly, directly talking to the fire person.

Oh, you people are assholes so that no, it was my idea. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you defending middle manning? Yes. Yeah. Okay. We all love a good middle manning. We can all love a good middle man.

It was nothing but middle man hustles in which you described with great joy about your fucking middle manning of soda. I was meeting a demand that didn't exist. Yeah. If people were willing to go get soda. I get the finders fee for the fire dude. You do. Forever.

No. Yes. You get the one. You get the one and then me and that person are talking. If I, if I didn't sell the soda, right? If I led everybody to a vending machine in the school that they didn't know about, right? I would take that initial benefit, but after that they would just walk to the machine on their own.

I should have introduced them. I should have just stolen the fire technique for food and then use the fire technique myself. Now we're in a different conversation. See, but I didn't create the fire technique. The artists who make the pieces are credited for making the pieces. The person who plans the show and hires the artists is the producer of the show. You know, I think I take pieces of advice given to me too literally and they become all encompassing like ridiculous like philosophies because I remember someone told me never do

anything for yourself that someone else can do for you better. Okay. Right? Like why? Like, hey, there's a huge asterisk at the end of that and that is depending on if you could afford them or not. Well, no, do the thing you're good at and then like, but that's also bullshit. If you want to do that thing, why would you ever want to do a thing?

There are podcasts way better than this one that I know there are. This is the best podcast. So why would I even bother hitting the button knowing that infinitely more entertaining podcasts are out there? The funniest thing about what you're saying right now is that when we started this podcast, I can't listen to other podcasts anymore because they're not as good as this one. Yeah, that's crazy. Why would I listen to other podcasts that don't have a guy who sounds and agrees like

me with me? You actually listen to it. No, of course not. Okay. But what happens is if I ever listen to this, okay, this is going to get really insane. This is going to be the craziest thing I say all day. Okay. Are you limiting it to 24 hours?

Today. Today. Today. I'm not streaming later so we're safe. Okay. If I ever like I'm clicking around and I end up on an old best friend video, this podcast clip, any of my streams, any page of streams, Clemsa's pot, you know, anything that has my voice in it and I don't like pay close attention.

So I'm not like listening to it like, oh, that's me. I invariably go, man, this guy's really. And like, wow, this dude's really got a shit. That's totally what I would say. What a fucking. What? Well, he's not this guy's. That's crazy.

I was just thinking that the other day, wow, well, he's so on the mark. Damn. How relatable is that? What a really. I have. I have. I have clicked. What's this guy's name?

What do you say he was? I have. I have clicked on like a podcast clip that you'll put up on your channel of me being crazy and not paid attention like I just click on it because I want to see the comments, right? But in the background, I'll hear myself being nuts and go, I don't know what everyone's problem with is this guy's talking pure sense. Just the voice of you in your own head playing back to you as you agree with it. Yeah, totally.

Yeah. But you would fight your clone. You say I would find my clone in a second. He's got to go. There's no way I'm saying anything crazier than that today. That's exist. Many names in one place to give appropriate accreditation to individuals on a collaborative and I deserve my middleman fire technique credit in the caveman wall.

There's a chef. There's bus boys. There's the waiter. There's the prep cooks. Yeah. There's a whole team of prep cooks get no respect. They get no respect. And that's that's not right.

Just as important as everybody else definitely I definitely like the the amount of recognition should be balanced out, but there should be recognition period. And if there isn't, well, then you're a thief. So this is this is where we're at. So anyway, wherever the fuck that came from, dialect seems cool. If you're not me, I guess dialect seems cool. If you have a fully functioning creative brain and if you can filter through the things that are not about how to play the game, yeah, but how do you win together?

Okay. That's a real answer that I can actually internalize because if you have a flight, if the if the session goes shit and the story is terrible, you all lose together by not having a great time. Yeah. If and if one of you is like doing a bad job of like, you know, improvising or playing along or whatever, then it takes a hit to the story. So you know, it's so if there was a me there, it would be ruinous.

If you decide to tank the story, I would not try and take the story. I just wouldn't understand why we're telling the story. You would take the story. Okay. It's a great purpose, though. You wouldn't be having fun with the normal rules. You'd have more fun tanking it. So then you'd consciously start taking it.

But I would be making the story better for your fun. But no, it would, you would pretend you weren't tanking everyone is crazy. And then whenever you and then you'd wait for everyone to go, why are you tanking it? And then you would get enjoyment out of that moment. No, I would not. I would be confused because I'm like, I'm not tanking it. I'm making it better. You would understand exactly what you're doing and why you're doing it.

And you'd wait for the moment of recognition, AKA the, well, no, no, the first time it would go the way that I'm describing the second time it would go the way you're describing. I would give it an honest shot and then horribly fail. And then I'm like, well, I can't do this. So I might as well tank it. You would ask to join the sandcastle building team. You don't even need to. Oh, it's way more fun to kick down a sandcastle than it is to build it.

Why do you would build sandcastles? You would ask to join the team. Oh man. Why would anyone build a sandcastle? You see the difference here? I do. I do see it. What did, uh, what did you do?

Uh, I played, I played R a zero, which is terrible and I really don't want to get into it other than the fact that, uh, you've been hearing me talk about Resident Evil games for a while and I've made a tweet about it, which like people are confused by, but it's like a full half of Resident Evil games are terrible. Like in mainline, no, in mainline, it's mostly wins with some trash in there. But like, if you, if you count all the spin offs as well, it's 50, 50, okay. And it's like, man, it's a real dice roll. Whenever that name gets slapped onto something, um, R a zero has terrible controls.

You have to horribly remap through steam. Uh, it's bad and that, uh, it's the, the only RE game that allows you to drop items anywhere you want, which means no item boxes, which ends up being a million times worse than having item boxes because you end up just dumping every single item into the main hall equivalent. And then when you have to travel really far away from it, you can't get key items. It sucks. That's one in the, you take one in the, in the foot for realism, but it, it makes

the game less fun. It was one of those things where people complained about not being it. Like in Resident Evil, you would have the situation very often where why can't I pick up this item out? Cause your inventory is full. I just want to drop this health item so I can pick up the key item. Right. Yeah.

So this game totally solves that problem and creates a way, way bigger problem that actually ends up being more annoying, which is I left this key item like a million miles back behind me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now I have to try to charge through half the game and go get it. Yeah.

Uh, a game design is still a game design, right? Pure realism is not fun. No. You have to make chit, you have to make concessions for the sake of not being annoyingly overbearing on reality. Yeah. Uh, and the, so, and even beyond that, it's extra annoying because the game cube only had so much memory.

So you're dropping every health item and ammo in the main hall and then you hit like 20 items and it goes, you can't drop any more items in here. Cause it's the memory. It just can't handle it. Can't. So then you go to the, the room north of the main hall, which is another safe area and you start dropping tons of items in there. So this is why you have to do it because players will find a way to just

circumvent your, well, cause it's, it's the centralized location that is least far from every part. Yeah. Why would you ever drop an item in an area that's dangerous? Yeah. You, you wouldn't because then you, it'll be dangerous to go get it. Um, and the other game that I played this week was temtem. Have you seen temtem?

I've seen hyper shadow face. Yes, that was unfortunate. That was unfortunate that hyper shadow face happened to me, but we clean that up, we clean that up real good and got rid of shadow face. I was told about shadow face while in the middle of playing. Um, I think it was, no, it wasn't fight that can't, uh, it was a shorts and blitz and shorts and blitz and, um, jank ass, jank ass fighter. Yeah.

Um, everyone is broken. Everything is broken. Got it. And, uh, the, the idea of the most broken character in the game versus shadow face was a concept that was floated. Good. I like that. Mm hmm.

So temtem's a Pokemon rip off, uh, from Kickstarter and it is a fucking rip off. Not a no mush. No, it is a fucking clone. If this came back out back in like 95, people would have gone, yeah, okay. Add it to the Digimon and the, the whatever pile, except it's not trying to be a similar thing, but different. It's trying to just straight up be. So where does your rip off lie and extends?

Do you consider, okay. So you'd call monster hunter Pokemon rip off, right? What? Right. No, what? Rancher, rancher, rancher. Jesus Christ. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

That was, that was insane. Sorry. I misspoke rancher. Okay. Yeah, sure. Okay. Um, Digimon, Digimon, Meta bots. I'm not familiar with my thoughts.

Okay. You just kid and his buddy metabee. Yeah. Right. I don't, I don't know. Okay. So those are, those are like clones rip offs. Yeah, you gotta, yeah, right?

This is not a clone, right? Okay. Well, this is a Pokemon clone. Yeah. This is as close as you can get before a lawyer comes knocking at your door. Like you start the game and your mom says, hi, go out there, go talk to the professor and the professor gives you three temp, temp to choose from. Okay.

And they have type advantages against each other. Okay. And then you walk out the door and your rival attacks you. Okay. Like it is fucking Pokemon. Um, is it made by angry Pokemon fans that wanted better? No, it predates a sword and shields announcement. Yeah.

It's just made by a Spanish team that loves Pokemon and wanted to play online and wanted to make their own Pokemon called Temtem. Uh, the, the original gimmick was that it, the original gimmick back on the Kickstarter is that it is a, a pseudo MMO. So as your Pokemon, as sorry, as you're temtemming, there are like hundreds of people also temtemming around you. Okay. It's a pseudo MMO.

Yeah. So it's got a full single player adventure. Absolutely. Just imagine you were playing Pokemon, but other people are writing everybody else playing is, is also around the, when they get in a random battle, we see a little like sword icon above their head and you can duel them at any time. You can trade them at any time. Okay.

And that part's cool, but it's weird because the MMO thing, which was its original hook is now like, who cares? Now it's real hook is that it's a really good feeling off brand classic style Pokemon game, but the online aspect is not even a big deal. Not to me, uh, because it sounds like that's what I would, I would think that would be the funnest place to explore with a concept like this. Because when you think about Pokemon, you think about like, man, it would be great to fucking challenge other trainers and do that whole.

Yeah, I like, uh, you can also make off the whole game. Yes, I did see that in the trailer too. Um, so, but for, for me, the appeal isn't so much the MMO stuff. I think it's, it's neat. Like, yeah, but it's not like, Oh, wow. Uh, for me, it's that it is a Pokemon fan game that changes a lot of things that I really don't like about Pokemon for what I believe is the better.

Okay. So, um, it's all to be to every fight in the game is to be to cool, which that was a thing that was occasionally in the older games, but not the main. And what it does is that like, man, you spend way less time switching out for type advantage as a result. Okay. They also use a stamina system instead of PP. Okay.

Uh, and the stamina is like, it takes a lot of stamina to do big attacks, but after a couple of turns, it'll read grade. It'll regen every turn. Okay. And if you use a big stamina attack when you're low, it will take some of your health instead because your poker, your Temtem exerted themselves. Okay. Right.

Stuff like that. Right. You're using cards instead of balls. Right. What are those? Let's just, let's just get right to it. What are those final evolutions look like? I don't know.

Okay. I have no idea. The art style is kind of weak. Overall, the humans look pretty awful. The Temtem themselves look like off-brand Pokemon in some cases very literally, like there is a cat or pee. Okay. They're sorry.

There's some, there's a, there's a, there's a metapod cause I want to know. I will, I need to see like previews of like where shit goes to know, even if it's like, do you even want to go down this road? Because Digimon all goes crazy, but it starts worse in my opinion, way worse. Digimon starters all look way worse than Pokemon do, but they all fucking end up amazing in these ridiculous directions. And there's so many options with them that it's like, yeah, it's fucking worth it. It's fucking worth it.

So when it comes to these Temtem choices, you kind of want to know like, where are we going with this? Right? Yeah. I'm just going to look it up. What's crystal turn into? I can't find it. Okay.

Well, that was helpful. Um, but they gain guns. They do not gain guns. No, it's Pokemon through and through. Okay. Um, and there's all sorts of, it looks very good, uh, like Fidelity wise, which helps because it's a PC game. Yes.

And it'll be coming in everything else. When? Eventually it is in early access right now. Okay. Were those like stretch goal ports? Uh, yeah. Okay. And, and the, the fucking, um, the emphasis on early access.

Okay. Like they're only 75 of the little guys in the game right now. There's going to be 161, uh, eventually. But as such, when you go through the areas, 75, including evolutions, yeah, right now. Uh, and so what happens when you go through the game right now, let's talk into a friend of mine where you run into issues in which you're like fighting Ratatap or like six hours, yeah, because there just aren't

enough in the game right now. If everything, or if almost everything has two or at least three forms, that's very, this thing is really, really early. Okay. Like it's pretty solid, like, uh, like bug wise, but like less than half of the content isn't shadow face shadow face. That's right. But for a very early access game and for what it is very obviously

trying to be, I'm fairly impressed. I really enjoyed my time with it. I wonder why they went early. I guess to get some funds. I believe that is the case. And also since they would, they want to throw people at it to break it and test shit. Um, the change to two v two in the stamina system alone, just make it to

me a lot more fun to actually fight fights. When I played Pokemon games, I would get in a random battle and then switch to the Pokemon that had the type advantage and then just kill that Pokemon outright and that was that. That's not how they play out generally in Temtem. You have to consider either stuff has way more health in general. Fights like, even if you get like a super effective move, they don't usually die. Okay.

Um, is the full like single player thing there? Hell no. Like you're running, you're running through a town and like for the buildings have work in progress, like little signs out in front. Okay. How far can you get pretty far? Uh, like pretty long. Like I think people were saying like 20, 30 ish powers.

Uh, and like a, a fraction of the game is there right now. Um, it's, it's super early, but I'm like really excited because it feels like how to put this, there's a lot of folk, particularly a Pokemon fan who very much hate Temtem because visually the design is not nearly as good. And it is laughably unfinished compared to any Pokemon game that exists right now and the feeling of like, why are people getting excited for this rip off? It's like, it's because it feels to me like when it's done, it will be like a shovel night to red and blue.

Yeah. Not to sword and shield and or not to golden silver, but to red and blue, which is exciting to me as that was the Pokemon game that I cared the most about. Yeah. I, um, I think that's, I mean, it all sounds pretty interesting. I guess I would be most excited to play it on something like a switch. Yeah. So it's like, it just, it's the portable associations are so strong in my

brain that sitting down at steam and booting it up is like just, it doesn't feel well for me, I sit down and boot everything on steam. So that that's long gone. And I say this while simultaneously also saying, I want the Pokemon game where you can look up, you know, so you can't, I know this, this is locked to the old type of perspective. Hard. So I do, I do see the, the conundrum in that, but, uh, if they are getting

there eventually with ports and stuff, then that sounds cool. I am kind of, I am kind of, uh, like bummed out at the, I wouldn't call it a backlash, just there's a lot of people that are like incredibly dismissive of it. Okay. Like it's fun. I enjoyed playing it a lot. There's a, it's early. So be kind.

Well, so the funny thing is that despite the fact that there's a lot of Pokemon clones out there in IP, yeah, there's not a lot of Pokemon clones in game. I would agree with that. Right. It's interesting that you could like associate a lot of different things out there with like, you can sell a kid and their buddy animal in a million different ways, but not many things are playing out the way that red and blue did.

Hmm. So, uh, there's space for this. I would be interested to give it a little test, but then forget about it until it's done. I think I got one more sitting in me and then to forget about it until it's done. Providing that we get some cool, finally evolution. Like the way that, uh, I played Hades where like I played Hades for a couple hours when it came out and then on this update or that update.

Yeah. And now, by the way, the next update will be 1.0. Okay. For Hades. So fucking woo. Yes. I mean, fuck, like I came back to, uh, dead cells, like two years later or whatever, they're adding another thing to that.

Oh, yeah, I mean, dude, I came back to it like a two years later or whatever. And maybe three, however long it was. And like got so much further than I ever had with new weapons. I never used and just had a blast, you know, experiencing like a good run, so to speak. And, uh, yeah, I have, I definitely, there's not many games or you have that experience of like, I played this in early access and I'm coming back to it close to final and like that experience is helping, but it's still pretty much a new experience in a way.

Dead cells got like, I want to say like re balanced or like overhauled sometime after 1.0. Yeah. And then they added like twitch modes and all this shit. Cause I had a similar experience that mine were a little closer together, but I came back and was like, this feels like a completely different game. I just, I just found that like the amount of new weapons and, and, and abilities opened up in some of the like room balancing was more in your favor.

And like, and yeah, I got like many, many maps in, you know, to be like, okay, yeah, this is, this feels like, this feels like what the game should have been. Yeah. Um, yeah. So I'm excited to see that providing that this is as, uh, as solid as you, you are, you are saying that has the potential to go, you know, I'm trying to think maybe I'm taking it easy on this game just because I like their Twitter account. Okay.

Because their Twitter account, uh, is really, really, really, uh, quick on the updates. So like you'll be playing it and you'll get kicked out because the server goes down and you'll hit the Twitter and the Twitter will already be like, Hey, the server's fucked up. Sorry guys. We're working on it. Hey, did you make a kid?

I did. You like your kid? Yes. Did you pick a buddy? Yes, I did. Do you enjoy your buddy? I do. I hate my rival.

You feel an attached to your, your, your, your team? Yes. Yeah. Then yeah. Mm hmm. That's it. Derival such a fucking asshole. Good.

Like he's like Gary Oak on steroids asshole. Good. It's, it's, uh, it just like the, the trend in Pokemon games where your rival's your friend. Um, your rival should be quote unquote friend. Yeah, but your rival should be a piece of shit because I like it when it's like, yeah, there's no qualms about the fact that I fucking hate you. Yeah.

But I'm still like from the same town as you like you, you're you go up to like the first gym leader and she's talking to you because you know the professor and you're having like a nice chat and your rival max is like literally screaming next to you. What about me? What about me? I have a digital dim, dim and the, the gym leader just ignores them. Okay.

Good. Good. And he is like stamping his feet and ready to like piss himself. He's so fucking pissed off as opposed to say, uh, X and Y where like you guys are basically BFFs while being like, I got to beat you. Yeah. No, no, this kid's an asshole. Sick.

Okay. So you, you get your temtem and then you walk outside. Okay. He says, Hey, uh, uh, you know, you, Hey, I'll give you your temtem, Max and Pat. Right. And Max goes, can I get a digital one? I want a digital one. And he goes, those are really rare.

No. And he goes, okay. Well, Hey, uh, Pat, you want to pick yours? And I picked one, right? And he goes, okay, cool. And then I go outside and Max has a digital temtem somehow. And in the first rival battle, the digital one beats all three types that you can start with and kicks your shit in.

Nice. And the professor goes, wow, man, you had no chance. Here's a second temtem that's a different type so that you can do. And Max starts screeching. Why don't I get a second one? Then how do you get a digital? And he goes, you have a digital one. Yeah.

It's super rare. Yeah. Calm down. And he's like, this is bullshit. And he runs away. That's awesome. Good. So you might, you might come across him like beating his Pokemon later.

Yeah. Like might as well. Okay. Like he's such a little shithead. Nice. It's, it's also, it's made by Pokemon super fans. So they do one thing that I actually really love where you run into people and your character has the ability to ask them about their temtem and they're like,

I don't have temtem. I don't care. Yeah. Cool. Not like there's a character that literally tells you not everything in life is about temtem. Perfect. Great.

The world doesn't revolve around it. Awesome. I love that. You need that guy. You need people going to work while kids are running around with their monsters that are just like, get the fuck out of my way. So this is what I'm talking about. Like there's all these little things that made me go like, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Good. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Perfect. And, and, and yeah, if I fucking leave my mom's house, go down to a Oaks lab. Yeah.

Pick my Pokemon and then Joffrey walks in. Yeah. Pretty much pretty much very down. I'm very down with that. It's good. Yeah, but needs more temtem badly. Temtem needs more temtem badly. I'm shocked that you didn't, you didn't peak at the final evolutions.

That's such an important part to me. Yeah. Honestly, so am I. Like, I don't care about that. I think the reason for that is because out of the three starters, there was a very clear winner in my mind. So I didn't even care what, but if it goes somewhere horrible, then fuck that. Yeah, but it was the green one.

Like war total is the single worst thing in all nine created by a human of all nine possibilities on the starters. Well, that's not true. I mean, now like 12, if you count Charizard's, but there are, there's nothing worse than a war total or totals are God's mistake, but you accept it on the way to gun, gun, yes. That's true. So I need to know.

Yeah. I need to know where I'm going. Squirtle's a hero. War total never happened. War total never happened. DMC three. There it is. Nailed it.

Completely nailed it. Yes. That's going on with me. Uh, I'm going to be playing more reasonable games and some random shit over the following week, uh, over at twitch.tv slash angry's pet might do time to time again, but probably not. I don't know. Okay.

War total sucks. It's really bad. That's the name of the podcast this week. Ugly wing hair. Hey, like, you know, it's things, it's got a terrible tale. It's just, I forgot about the tail. It's got a goofy ass like foam tail and it just kind of, it's like a, just a standing up squirtle and it's like, fuck off, bro.

Get out. You're super. You're like, I be sore and fucking car, uh, chameleon don't fucking light the world on fire either. No, but, but they're just really, they're just slightly bigger versions of the other design. Yeah. Charmeleon is aggressive and aggressive Charizard.

Yeah, I see. Like it's, it's there. And then you all eventually turn into chameleon air. Yeah. I be sore. I be sore, uh, is fine. It's just not that different. It's just, oh, the bulb was kind of coming out.

Yeah. War total is just a bunch of. The Bulbasaur are weird. Cause like, like he goes, Bulbasaur got it. Ivysaur got it. And then, then being a source, like a thousand times the size of it. Yeah. Like, insane.

Makes no sense. What happened here? Yeah. Oh, magic harp, right? Okay. Yeah. So although, I mean, that's because of the, the, the fucking the myth of the dragon. Oh, shit.

Uh, I remember playing Yakuza one and fighting the final boss and being like, Oh, that's why magic carp sucks ass. Cause in Yakuza one, the final boss has a carp on his back where Kiryu has the dragon and there's like, there's a scene in which a tattoo artist is explaining to you that the carp will travel up the stream and become a dragon. And I'm like, Oh, magic carp sucks still though. Yeah. War tortle fans rise up, unite.

So you can all be in the same place at the same time. And we can deal with that problem. So that's the crazy one. But woolly's the one making over threats towards you people. Let's take a quick word from our sponsors. This week, the podcast is sponsored by Raycon. Hey, Raycon, what up? Yo.

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Yeah. So you don't need like a, like, boom, people in lab coats with beakers and colored fluids. Yeah. And then you get the Raycon eight, they take the base fluid and they pour a little bit more base on it and then you ban magic. Bam. Just like that.

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Thanks for, thanks Raycon. So if we can, let's jump into the news. Hey, it's news time. Does everybody want a news? Hey, is there good news in the world? All right. No, let's narrow that down. How about video games?

Well, uh, if you want to talk about myths, uh, being reinvented for video games, like the magic harp that turns into a dragon, the dragon, have you heard the myth of the swan or rather, excuse me, the, um, the crane that was injured and found by the man. And then it repays him by secretly transforming into a woman that becomes his wife, it's a whole tale. I did not know that. Yeah.

It's this, it's this thing. I remember hearing about this a while ago. It was, uh, actually relevant because they announced the new character, but it's a returning character for samurai showdown. That is, uh, Iroha, the nun, excuse me, not the nun, excuse me, the maid, rather, she's that made, those are different. I know my, my words are weird today. Yeah.

You think your words are weird? I started to get confused when you were telling that story because I saw a man at a riverside picking up a construction crane that became his wife. Okay. Well, knowing that you're tired, I'm a stupid fucking knowing that you're tired, uh, I'm, I'm thinking ahead of my own sentences and stumbling into their endings and it's not working out for me. So bear with me as I continue to say God's maids, there we go, but anyway,

you're not that far off. So, um, uh, so gets to the water brother was announced, um, leaked actually for the arcade version, not too long because he's is water. Yeah. Uh, yes. So it's really not good. Oh man.

It's really not good, but anyway, so the new characters, uh, being shown off include, uh, Mina, who is the archer girl. Yeah. Oh, I remember her. Yeah. She was pretty annoying to fight. Yep. Until they nerfed her and she became worthless.

So we'll see if they can find a happy balance. In between. Cause, uh, this was announced at Evo Japan, which took place this weekend. Oh, I saw a clip from Evo Japan this weekend. Yeah. Was it the reign of Leroy Smith? No. Okay.

Was the winner of the Smash Brothers tournament? Oh, I didn't see it. You didn't see it. No. Did you see what the Smash Brothers tournament winner received? Nope. Uh, they received a pro controller. Wow.

With a special sticker on it that had a Smash Brothers logo. And then when they presented the fancy pro controller to the winner, they dropped it on the floor. Accidentally. Yes. Wow. There was no prize money of any kind. Yeah.

That would probably be because of the JESU fucking bullshit. Yeah. Where if you're not a member of the official eSports union, that is essentially a fucking group of Yakuza, strong arming people into paying them. Then you cannot win prize money. Oh, I see. And the craziest thing about it, we've talked about it a little bit in the past about how Momochewan events and refused to sign up.

And it was literally like he's, he's leaving hundreds of thousands of dollars on the table, but he doesn't care because of the principle. Because what happened was essentially in the short, there's a whole thing where like, yeah, gambling laws created a weird thing. Gambling laws are weird and was really scared about tournaments being similar to that, so they don't want anyone to just win a pot prize. So, um, there, there was a kind of like a gap for like, okay, so how do we fix this problem, right?

And a random third party company that has nothing to do with the government invents themselves and calls themselves the eSports union, the Japanese eSports, whatever player association. And they just say, we are now the official people that will be a registry. It's us as eSports players. And if you want to win prize money of more than up to whatever miniscule amount, you have to be a registered player with us. And of course we take our fees and cuts and players do.

And everything goes through us. And like, it was literally like, like this was not a government body. Yeah. And then, uh, they just went straight to a bunch of companies like Capcom and said, Hey, we're official. And Capcom said, okay. And the players are like, no, they're not, they're nobody. They just came out of nowhere and said, no, listen, I'm sorry.

The hands were already shook. Yeah. So the, so if the company's making the games, uh, agree to work with this random, I gotta admit, I'm really consistently impressed at how laughably overt the Yakuza's involvement in the game business in Japan is. I mean, I don't know if it's literal, like underworld bosses, but it's a scam on that level. I'm going to assume that every high end scam in Japan, at some point,

someone talked to a guy wearing a cool suit that can pull it off in one smooth motion, probably at some point, probably like, we've all heard I mean, maybe not all of you guys, unless you heard them from us. But Wally, we have all heard the stories of the nineties era Sega shenanigans in which like just the fucking gooniest shit that ever gooned was happening. So in this modern era, um, it's really rough because it's like some players like say, Tokido are like, yeah, man, I'm, I'm a sign up and do what I need to. If I win, I'm taking my prize money.

It is what it is. Yeah. And then other players like Momochi are like, fight the power forever. I will continue to win and not take this prize money and try to push awareness so that everyone realizes this scam should not be legitimized through inaction. And it's like, God damn, you're a real one. You're a fucking real one for turning that money down and being like, no, I don't give a shit.

Also, I will continue to win and I will continue to be a name on top of the list. So you can't ignore me. I'm not, it's unlike, it's not like lower. It's like there's a bunch of players that are like also in that bracket of like people that are fighting the JZU, but don't get top placement, you know. But it matters when you are somebody that might win the entire thing and be like, fuck this thing every time, you know. And then it makes the news.

It'll make the newspapers where it's like, player does not take prize money. And then it's like, what happens to the prize money? If you remember the last time we talked about this and it was like, who knows? So there's an ancient story that I was looking up, which was told by an anonymous Mimochi backed down. They got to him. Oh, fuck.

But, uh, there was a guy who described a story in which a unnamed Japanese video game company kidnapped his sister so that he would stop working at Nintendo. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't we talk about this? I think we did. We definitely talked about this. Nanashi, this is the pseudonym.

Oh my God. It counts the amazing kidnapping story explaining that he hired a truck-mounted crane to drop an arcade machine in front of the company's offices to show them he meant business. It was one of their game machines. I dropped it in front of their offices, smashed it, and then I told one of their employees that they would be next to show them that I was serious. They would be ashamed of their actions, you know, and then they gave his sister

back. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. You kind of forget, you know, sometimes you're like, oh, I know what I'll do. I'll be a construction worker. I'm just going to fill cinder blocks and help build things. I'm okay.

So we're laying the foundation, right? Cool. Hey, buddy. You laying the foundation? Yeah. I got something for you. What? I just this, just this box.

You put it in there in the foundation and the foundation. That's not up to code. Here's a hundred thousand dollars. What code? Thanks, man. Yeah. And no one ever saw Jimmy Hoffa again. Yeah.

Hey, who's the former? Who's the foreman on this? Uh, who's that? Multisanti. Yeah. Chris. Yeah. Chris Multisanti's the, that's right.

He's, he doesn't have any experience on that's crazy. That. Why is he the foreman? I've never seen him at the site. The fuck? You know why you? That's weird. Okay.

Well, I guess we take our orders from Chris now. Okay. From Chrissy. All right there. Walk. I mean, Chris, who? What? What happened to your nose?

Who am I? Who are you? I don't know you. I've never met you. Your nose is all fucked up. What happened if you were to walk away from me? I wouldn't know who you were ever again. So yeah, that's, um, that's fucking, that is wild.

Well, anyway, this is really, really fucking sad cause, uh, hustle or scam? This, I'm going to say it falls on the side of scam. I mean, how, what is it called to go beyond crime crime? Yeah, crime. It is not a hustle nor a scam. Yeah. It is a crime. Oh, crime.

Yeah, crime. This is not red or blue. This is yellow. This is not, this is not. No, hustle or flow. It's respect. Oh, no. This is not a scam nor a fucking hustle.

This is 100% crime. Darn crime. Yeah. Hey, everybody at home, don't commit crimes. I, Pat's moralizing of the day. Cannot for, I cannot, like as sad as I am to discover that Momoshi had to take the L, the L in his case is the biggest W. Yeah.

So I can't really fault him for it. I, I, especially with pro video game players in this context, it's like, man, it would be out of any profession I could think of. It'd be really easy to ruin their careers. Yeah, sure. One unscrupulous random passerby quotes, but it really is wild that like a random thug group with enough money can register a trademark. Yeah.

Show up and say, it's us now. Well, you know, Willie, it's amazing how far you can get in life if you have a group of people willing to tell people that they'll stab someone. Yeah. People don't like being stabbed. No. And most of the time, if somebody says, give me that, or I'll stab you, you should just give them what they want so that you don't get stabbed.

But then later they're supposed to get in trouble. They are for trying to stab you. Yes. And then for the people that are not afraid of getting stabbed, they go, would you like a money and people like money? Yep. And that's how it works. Um, you know, the other, of course, it's like new industries are like hyper, uh,

prone to massive corrupt movements because, uh, it's uncharted territory that no one's paying attention to yet. So no one down and we had that, uh, kerfuffle with the YouTube and the FCC. Yeah. If no one down at the office is paying attention to this corner of the economy, then why not run it through it? I mean, you guys took that massive bribe for killer instinct and you guys didn't get in trouble for that.

We like they'll catch up eventually. Yeah. When regulation catches up, but then the statute of limitation will be a way long past. Yeah. Fucking Jezu. God damn. Okay. Well, in any case, uh, aside from that, they announced the DLC characters.

So, uh, oh, right. This is part of a samurai showdown story. Oh, just, just, just some, some announcements that came out of EVO Japan. Yeah. And one of them was that, uh, Mina, the archer girl came back. She's got a eye patch now. So she's a fucking well, there's zero in her right there. Yeah, I guess.

So, uh, so get to the, the water brother to the fire brother. Kazuki is, he's in this as well. And, um, one of the big fan favorites from samurai showdown six, uh, Iroha, the may, the maid fighter, uh, made a huge return. And she was insanely popular at the time. She was like, like almost like micro my surenary popular is that spelled with an I, I, R, O, H, A. Okay, Iroha.

Yeah. Uh, samurai. She had a huge, huge impact when she first showed up. Who is this character? Um, and in addition to the design aspects that made her very popular, she was also like one of the, she had a weird thing to her character where she would, uh, address the player as like husband or master. Wait, how did this character get so popular?

I don't understand. Right. It makes no sense. So she would address the player as husband or master kind of thing and would actually like do the proper formal, like, thank you so much. Oh, the talk to the camera, that honorific, uh, Japanese talk. Yeah. Donna sama, you know, and would like, and would talk directly to the camera and break

the fourth wall. Yeah. Um, so, uh, I didn't know this, but apparently. Like the reason for her character, besides all of the fan service exploding out of the screen, yeah, uh, is that she's based on a legend of, uh, and as like, and like, and I have heard of this story before, actually, it's a legend of a dude who saved the dying crane from like whatever, an injury. And then it magically turns itself into a wife to come and repay him.

And, uh, it basically is able to, I think it's like create. Like, like I do a magic thing where it creates bread or gold or do some kind of crazy thing that makes them like happy and able to be like rich or whatever. Yeah, sure. Um, but I'm prosperous, prosperous. Yeah. But, uh, he must never peek behind the curtain when she's doing the magic. And then one day his curiosity gets the best of him and he peeks and sees that she

is in fact, Oh my God, it is the crane. Uh, that was my wife all along. Right. And then the crane says, I told you not to look. All right. And then she, she's like, I know I can't stay here. I find it funny that there are that like, I'm going to peek behind the curtain right now with the Joseph Campbell hero's journey, mono myth.

Shit. That is like a thousand and one myths are all the same. Yeah. You get something sick or someone saves you from something. Yes. And the only thing you have to do is not look. Yeah. And every single version of that story is they look and they fuck it up.

Yeah. Are they turned into a pile of salt? Yeah. Um, yeah, guess what? Stories told through oral tradition in, in, in human history tend to be things that are usually just parables for things that'll help you stay alive longer. Yeah. I just, it's one of those fascinating things of like, that is, that is a myth

that arises simultaneously, independently in tons of different cultures. The, the, the Greeks, the, the, the, the ancient Jews, the Japanese, like I seriously doubt they were all hanging out at the same time. Don't fuck up your good situation. You got a good situation. Somebody told you not to look. Shut the fuck up. Don't look right.

Don't do it. You fucked it up. Right. You fucked it up. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know, all kinds of things about betrayal or being deceitful. Yeah.

Jealousy, right? You're, you're, you're two moms that claim that the baby's theirs. Yeah. So King's like, all right, I'm going to cut this baby in half. You each get peace of it. How's that sound? And one lady's like, yeah, sounds good to me. He's good.

And the other lady's like, yeah, okay. And then, and then King Solomon's like, what? The fuck is wrong with you bitches? And then, and he's like, okay, write down in the story that, that one of them was like, no, my baby. Okay. And one of them, both of them going to jail. It's like, nah, can you like do an up trick to Helmsplitter so that we can, and

the other one's like, yeah, totally. So I'm down. Yeah, sure. You can wait. What's the deal? Hurry up. Yeah. What the fuck?

What? Something like that. That's how it went. Anyway, it's the idea of like King Solomon being like, so like, oh, this is totally going to work is I'm a hundred percent going to figure out who the real mom is. And then they're just both assholes. And he's like, oh, thanks. Half is fine.

I'm a, I'm a great wise King. And I had a good, I had a good gimmick for this case. And you two fucked it up. I was in the middle of a story for all time. I was, I thought this one through. Hey, King Solomon's court stenographer. We're writing this one down the way I thought it was going to go down. I'm going to be super famous forever.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, anyway, so she's based on that legend and, uh, that's why she breaks the fourth wall when talking to the player and, uh, she's back now. And it's like, yeah, who didn't see that one coming. Anyone who paid attention to popular characters in Samurai Shodown six definitely knew she was, I find that like her design now is like extra hilariously double fan servicey because she has a curtain covering her crotch.

Don't look behind it. She's a swan. You'll see bird stuff. Yeah. I guess when birds turn into your wife, they have fat tits. Don't question the bird. Sometimes in the bedroom, it's going to get a little weird. It's going to get a little cloaked at you.

Just don't question it. Don't peek behind the curtain. You'll see bird stuff. You want a wife or not? I don't want. You think that story maybe just came from one creepy grandpa who's just dispersed my wife, you know, and grandma died. Grandpa went up into the mountains and this crane.

Let's be fucking secret to riches. I don't know, grandpa. I don't know. Okay. Can we just pretend that it, it turned into, you know, just because it's wearing a little maid dress doesn't mean that it's a, it's your wife, grandpa. There's a lesson to be learned here. All right.

Anyway, so there was that. And then they also showed off the, uh, uh, how Maru as a guest character in some, also caliber six, he looks good. Yes. So he is showing up and guess what? Yeah. He's fighting Mitsurugi because of, they know each other. They have the same uppercut.

I actually really like that. They know each other in that trailer. They have the same fucking, like, you know, okay, Susan and so, um, I don't know, that, that kind of makes me feel like, Oh, maybe you should have picked somebody else because Homer was so similar to Mitsurugi. I mean, I feel like it almost feels like he was based off of him early on in, you know, especially when he had the, like the, the, the stray, like loose strands in front of his face and stuff, but whatever, here they are, Rio and Ryu showed

up in the same game. That's weird. They had to face each other down. Yeah. What do you want to say? Right? I want to say that's weird. And, uh, he looks, he looks like he should look school.

It's a good fit. Good guest. Good. That's, that's it. Street Fighter five is definitely not coming to the Nintendo switch. Shut up, everyone. Oh yeah. They denied that rumor.

Fucking. They also was a patch to the patch. Yeah. By a different person who made a better version of the front, the fan net code patch for PC doesn't fuck up people that don't have it or PS4 owners. Uh, it only fucks up people who are running, who are running the first patch. The irony. Yeah.

So there you go. Uh, they kept it going. And that's it for, um, fighting game talk. No, there's some other stuff. Oh, thank goodness. I'm, I'm. Wait, wasn't there an extra funny? Was there a story?

No, maybe. No. Well, anyway, Pat upon two is coming to PS4. If you have not two, Pat, Pat upon two, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, the pun. Yeah, that game's great. But like a pun, just not the third one or did the first one come out of ages ago? The first one came out years ago. Okay.

That, okay. There. All right. So now the sequel's coming out. Okay. That game's great. Yes, it is. And if you did not play it, uh, then you should because Pat upon is fucking awesome.

It's great. That's it. Pat upon is great. It's good to play musical and fun. Yeah. Mark of the Wolves got GGPO. That happened. But yeah, I don't know how many people like care about that.

I was, I was surprised to see it on my steam like splash page when I logged on that was like, Hey, Mark of the Wolves is no longer fucked up. Yeah, that's, that's cool. I, you know, your wharves can now fight correctly. I think it's cool. I just, I'm like, whatever. I don't, it seems like a lot of people don't, you know, so all right. Um, Pat upon two is worthy of your, uh, attention.

It really is. And thus I am bringing it to you. That was one of my favorite games. If you're one of those, those, those zenials that was not around for the PSP, then, uh, check out this game. It was a cool game from the PSP era. The thing that came before the Vita. Yeah.

Other things going on. Oh no. What's wrong? There are many, I just, I just browsed a thing and there are many clips. Of me being crazy today. It's a bad one, isn't it? The entire start of the podcast is completely, completely irrational. Oh, okay.

I, people were startled with the, how easily we moved on from what was a complete descent into madness. All right. Okay. We, you dug a pit so deep that the only way out was to pretend it wasn't dug to begin with. All right. EA might be working on a core tour reboot.

The game will allegedly integrate elements from the first two games. Not too sure. Uh, I don't think I trust anybody. How real is it to make that? But according to a new report from, uh, Sinelex via games radar, I suppose, two sources familiar with Disney's plans have confirmed a cotor game in the works, uh, some disagreement on whether it's a simple reboot or a sequel of sorts. So the two sources are reporting different things, but both seem to have in

mind the idea that it is not looking forward to that. Well, it depends. Is it simply, uh, a makeover makeover makeover makeover makeover? No, it'd be a new game and I don't trust anybody working at EA to make that. So, uh, who made SWOTOR by where Austin? Okay. So this would just be no one even remotely. Nope.

Okay. Okay. You think the building blocks of like, because it's not something where, for example, um, if you had an engine, let's say you had to remake the game entirely. Yeah. But you kept the same script and you kept the same. That's not going to happen. There's no way.

EA, fuck no. They're going to make cotor again, but it'll be a new cotor under EA. That's Canon, right? And it'll be like, get your Revan mask, microtransit. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up just now. It'll use a calendar that references everything from the Starkiller incident. Oh, fucking Jesus.

I straight up just don't want this to happen. You know what else I don't want to happen? It might be on this list. Konami is like going around asking developers if they're interested in making a fucking like Silent Hill spin off. Oh, yeah, until dawn. Well, hold that thought, because, I mean, that's also a thing on the docket. But as far as this story goes, I imagine the best thing you could get out of this,

unlikely, though it may be, would just be a touch up in a port. Yeah. Right. Make it work with modern controls and shove it on the modern platform like a remaster or something. Basically. Yeah, that's. That's unlikely, but the best possible thing.

Yeah. Um, shaka paka. Yeah. Well, uh, got you. Ah, cheap. Oh, yeah, that's that is that is unfortunate. Just put like four more of those.

Like just there's like three total for every alien in the game. Yeah. Well, anyway, I guess, uh, that might be bad. I can't wait for HK 47 to be ruined. Well, I will try. Well, anyway, whatever we'll see. Personally, I'm going to probably fucking dive in there before this shit happens. Please, as I mentioned to other, please before.

Yes, it won't get ruined. So if you're going to ruin it, ruin it yourself. I'm going to ruin it. If I'm going to ruin it, I have to ruin it myself. Yeah. Yeah, we'll find out. I'll find out soon enough. Um, yes, yes, guys, my clunky, my clunky.

You got to say it. Vinny is as like gained ownership of my clunky. No one noticed until like, or if they did notice, they weren't really, it wasn't in my sphere of hearing about it until that point. So I saw the side by side by side of them. It's so ridiculous. And like the fucking neck break is one of the creepiest. So it's like an effect that lasts for like four.

It's a flash. It's a flash level, just Han Solo's neck leans back and snaps and points upwards. And it's fucking weird. All right, anyway. So it's Kotor two, and then there's a bunch of epilogues in Swotor, right? I don't even. You fight Revan as a raid boss in that game. I heard there's some, I heard there's some, some interesting closing details inside

that game. So I don't know. I write that whole shit off. I don't pay attention. I mean, I like, if it's just for the sake of knowing what happens or where characters end up, then like, I don't mind grabbing like a compilation video of stuff from the MMO and I'm at the point now where I have been so disappointed so consistently by spinoffs that answer what happens that I am fully

embracing, I don't care what happens. Fair enough. Like, whatever happened to so and so don't don't care. Okay, they went away. Well, when I when I do go to figure it out for myself, I do want to know what's what. So, but yes, that's what's going down. Now you did mention Silent Hills and that story is back in Silent Hills, not

because of PT, but Silent Hills, because there possibly might be two new Silent Hill games in development. Apparently Konami, despite saying they cannot share anything on this point, but they're listening and to customer feedback and considering ways to provide the next title. Okay, so here's my customer feedback. Don't see this is especially weird coming off of the PT feelings, because that created a weird thing.

PT came out and created a weird thing where this brand is like going to have to fight past that to land and it can. But people are going to definitely be like upset about whatever happened back then as a long time Silent Hill fan and sufferer. Um, I would actually like to go farther than that because PT, it doesn't have to just fight back against PT, right? And the fact that that game's dead and not going to happen. And it would have been awesome.

Guarantee PT was the payoff for already existing PT was the like the drop of water on the parched dying fan base after homecoming and downpour and book of memories and like, so like it's, we're finally going to get it killed. Yeah. And now we're going to go back to generic random spin offs being contracted out to random teams. And so everyone is like, no, no, stop. You're right.

Right. No one wants it. Unwinnable. Not unwinnable, but I imagine you have to get, you have to literally get a visionary and have them take a completely different crack at it. Yeah. And at which point it's like, oh, wow, you got a visionary and a great team to do it.

You were doing that before too. Are you just going to cancel this one? Yeah, but you didn't like that guy. So yeah. Yeah, it should be like a really secret game about Pachinko minds. It should take place in a Pachinko parlor. And like it's just as loud and just as bright and pyramid head is walking in the distance between the rows of Pachinko machines.

Yeah, watch it's, you know, it's going to be like pyramid head Pachinko's revenge. You get sucked into a machine in your mind and then the balls are all you. And Pachinko pyramid head man, those first two games are really good. Pyramid head is pulling the lever and down the game you go. I bring this up every time, but it bears mentioning Silent Hill is the only game franchise I can think of that has more than five entries. In fact, it has like nine. Every single game sold less than the one before it.

Every single one, according to Twitter, aesthetic gamer who accurately shared Capcom's leaks in the past, Konami reached out to developers a couple of years ago pitching ideas or inviting pitches for Silent Hill ideas. One game is thought to be a soft reboot of the franchise. While the other is rumored to be an episodic adventure similar to until dawn. Yay. Yay. Do you think a telltale sold Silent Hill game could work out?

No. Because those comics were goddamn awful. Oh, were there comics? Hell, yeah, there were. Is it just because they're written poorly? Yes. Is it possible for them not to be written poorly? No.

OK. They were written poorly, but they were all people had to go on for some for some time so that these shitty comics actually entered into canon in downpour by having characters cross contaminate each other. Can I just say that the entirety of the time I've known you, I've never seen you enjoy Silent Hill. It was because it was over by them. It was over by them.

It was already done. That's fucked. That's so fucked up. That's fucking. Yeah, I've literally always been miserable about this thing that I stensibly love. Because it has been terrible for that long. So, yeah, let's get ready for a soft reboot, everybody.

All anyone wants is for them to re-release two and three in their original format on the PS2, like download store. That's all anybody wants. Just do that. All right, well, we've talked about Kotor and we've talked about Silent Hill, so if you're not fully hollow yet, we can talk about other things with hollows. Let's hit it.

Speaking of going hollow. Oh, Dark Souls 2. But this is actually good news. Oh, OK. It's just a mod. Someone's making a mod, but the someone that's making a mod is a lighting artist and graphics programmer who is modding all the light sources in the game piece by piece, set by set, stage by stage, and doing the entirety of

scholar of the first sin over with better lighting. Oh, yes. And the side by sides are pretty good. Illuminating. They're from from from from. So S.T.A.Y.D. 3D on Twitter is where you can see the side by sides. It's not your you pull it up on your phone.

Yeah, the monitors. I've seen them. Oh, you've seen them. Yeah, that's good. They look great. Yeah, they look really nice. And according to Stade, the artist, it's yeah, it's not yet done, but like you're seeing some areas like especially like Majula and like the Shrine of

Amana look fucking incredible with like proper adjustments to ambient occlusion, anti-aliasing and so on. But yeah, like this is basically just like a piece by piece redo. And like there's a there's a screenshot of Hades Tower of Flame that looks like a current Gen Dark Souls game. Lighting matters. Like it's kind of crazy just looking at that one shot because I know scholar like, you know, looked better.

A little a little bit, right? Coming to the next gen console, but rather rather current. But like, holy fuck, does this really like make it sink in? And it's interesting too, because you're looking at like how incredible the the the brick and the temple looks and the lighting coming off of the the set that the the hero that whatever you're wearing. And then you look over at the water and it's still the same liquid, you know, to me, like that can't really be touched up that much.

So much you can do. Yeah, it's like the lighting is not going to change how that kind of looks. So that still looks the same, but everything else looks fucking great. There's another shot to from Forest of Giants. Yeah, that's a flat fucking leg. Yeah. And now you can kind of see like, even though the geometry on the trees is still like old, low poly modeling, it creates the illusion more effectively.

You know, illusion. But once again, the liquid continues to look kind of kind of poop. So peep that if you're interested. In revisiting Dranglaic. It's been a bit. Yeah. And I think it's also like besides all the fixes and what not, I think it ended in a place where people are like, you know what, I can appreciate

some of the interesting different things after they were fixed up in scholar. A lot of people seem to talk. I keep got fucked up. The rest of it was pretty good. Yeah. Right. It's like you can revisit that. Yeah.

Totally. So that's cool. I definitely don't often hear about lighting mods, you know, but fucking rad on that. You're in the wrong communities. Lighting mod is like one of the most common mods you can do for. PC games. People usually use ENB presets to change like everything about a game's pallet.

Awesome. It sucks. Is it usually this drastic of a jump? No, this guy's actually like baking in new lighting. Usually it's just like changing the contrast and stuff like that. So that the the darks are darker and the lights are brighter and shit like that. It's annoying because I can never get it to work because I'm stupid. No, I'm sad.

Well, sad because I'm stupid. You can be happy because. You know how Nintendo World is being made by USJ. Yes. Well, Universal Studios Japan is going to get that, but so is Orlando. Yay. In 2023. Now I can piss into the mouths of English speaking.

Yes. Yes. The the the Piranha plants. Absolutely love water. They love for you to piss down. Piranha plants can't get enough water sports and who are you to deny them? I suggest you pick the middle one. That way, no matter who enters, they're forced to team up with you.

Yeah. What were they thinking? Horrible, horrible things. You think that was somebody going like. All right. It depends. Or it's just an oversight. It depends on whether or not the inside of the urinal has a urinal cake that looks like a tongue.

I got a check. Nintendo. Was it even real? Oh, it was real. Piranha. Piranha. Well, in the meantime, in 2023. You'll be seeing an Orlando version of the Nintendo Super Nintendo World.

And Florida and it'll also. Okay. The insides of the urinal are porcelain white. There's no you villa. A lot of people seem to think it was fake. It might have been fake. Let's just check that. It might have been fake.

It's from at Nintendo of Amoraka. Okay. Nonetheless. Oh, now I'm disappointed. Yeah. The idea is horrifying. And now it's out there. Yeah.

Well. Go down on the Nintendo of America. Sorry. The US. You go down in the Nintendo world. And tape up a fucking picture of Mario says nice cock above every urinal. See, the problem with the urinals is that nobody turned around to look at the stalls where the toilet bowls were painted green. And had little Yoshi tongues sticking out.

Oh, come on. Come on. The top of the toilet seat had a little nose with the two. Shut up. It was green with the two nose holes on it. Oh, and when you when you flush it goes well or whatever the fucking Yoshi noise is. Yep. And you know what?

Before you walk out of that stall. You got a little you get an egg. There's a little there's a little gacha. Connected to the top of the tank and it spits an egg out for you. Like is it actually possible for us to do one podcast without degenerating into this disgusting shit and piss and barf fucking crap. You don't get to feel bad about what you started. Yeah, I do. I can feel guilt sound familiar.

That's a that's a human component. You brought us here. No, wait, did I? Did I know you? I can't remember. It's too long ago. Yeah. I can't remember.

It's too long ago. Yeah. Enjoy your enjoy your control V pasted right back at you, buddy. I did that once by accident on Twitter. Control V the wrong thing. Don't do that. You know what it was? The bunny eating a carrot.

And it was like I clicked tweet without even realizing it. I meant to post video game footage. But I had in fact posted footage of a of a tiny rabbit eating a carrot and being adorable. You got lucky. And everybody saw that that's that's what I was looking at. It was adorable. It was. But you know, ever since I saw Full Metal Panic the second raid.

Yeah. I'm convinced that what is wholesome might not be that wholesome. It all depends. Pardon. So there's a villain in TSR. Full Metal Panic is an anime. I'm aware of Full Metal Panic. The second raid is a second is a second season of action.

That's really, really, really good in it. There's a villain and he's a fucking super creep annoying horrible asshole. Right. Voiced by Jariah. Okay. And there's a scene where he's taking a call from some people and he's interrupted as he's in a dark room watching a TV screen pulling tissues out of a tissue box. Right.

And he's staring at kittens playing with yarn. Okay. And he's he's just pulling tissues out of that box and going why are you interrupting me during my private time. Okay. And it was like. He was crying because it was adorable. Oh.

Sure. Yeah. I don't think that's what it was. It was fucking weird. So anyway. All right. Well, I like to look at cute animal videos because they make me have like my uterus swell up and have baby.

I came out way worse than I thought it was great. Can we just talk about can we just talk about Reggie and his ideas? Oh man, that's just all the words were in the wrong order. Did you know that did you know that years ago before the we years ago before the we when Reggie joined Nintendo. Yeah. Some Nintendo people were suggesting that they paint their toilets like Yoshi. And Reggie told them that was a bad idea.

And they're like, are you sure we think it's a really good idea? And then Reggie said, no, don't do that. Only villains do that. Don't do that. And they're like, but what about all these Yoshi toilets we made? Throw them out. But like, they're the Japanese toilets that can like heat up and throw them out. They squirt the water.

So the actual story is that some people in Nintendo wanted to age up the Nintendo logo to be edgier. It was the WWE Attitude Era and people in Nintendo, you know, remember that era when everyone was making fun of Nintendo for being all baby games? I do. We lived through it. We did. I remember yelling people down from their towers.

I even I did that about about stupid kid games and how cool GTA was. And and how yeah, it can't be fun if it looks too childish. I'll let you just you can work it out. You can work it out. I'm so tired. Whatever you need to do. I'm good. I'm good.

You're completely right about what you're saying. Okay. I'm going to continue talking and then you're going to burst out laughing in the middle of the night. That's fine. I'm in my own world right now. That's fine. So during that era, everybody felt like it was really just sick of it too much to deal

with. And the pressures were mounting and they said, God damn it, we need to be edgy for the kids. And we need to change our logo. So let's try ditching this oval Nintendo red logo and let's try graffiti styles. Oh, geez. I didn't read that deep into it. Yeah, graffiti styles and things that age up the logo.

And well, Reggie says he put a stop to that and said it's not our brand. Don't be ridiculous. Fucking terrible idea. And he stopped it. Good. Good for you. So apparently even before he said the catchphrase and got popular off of it and used it to swing his way all the way up to the top.

Yeah. He was pushing decisions like that. What's wrong with you? Good for Reggie. On the same podcast where he talks about that, he also he credits that decision with paving the way for the Wii and the switch and is like, all right, relax, relax, buddy. Calm down. Chill.

All right. Admittedly, edging up that that logo would have probably been a bad idea. It would have been terrible. You can edit it. It would look so like pathetic. Yeah. You could edge up your your catchphrase is all you want with, you know, play it loud. That's my favorite one still all this time.

Yeah. Yeah. You can go all all in on like, you know, the the the words underneath the logo, but it would have been a mistake. In the end, like games won out, you know, because it turned out that like games that were dark and serious were just like they don't have to be every game now. It was a new thing that we weren't used to. So once that got is properly saturated, passed by that dark edgy era saturation.

It's a new thing and then it's done. So now we can have darker games and we can have lighter games. But you know, the the the the urge to give in to cave to fads, trends and think feelings of the moment, despite the fact that they're shortsighted is very high. Don't chase trends, man. Trends are lame. Be stuck in your ways. That's the trick.

Don't you have a dabby moat? I do. Cool. That's not chasing a trend. No, it's corrupting it. Yeah, I get it. That on purpose to ruin it for the kids. You did.

You told me I need to find some new thing the kids like that I can also ruin. Like the. Do you remember you must have met someone. Oh, God, that had the discussion with you because I've had this discussion. With more than one person, the person who said that there should be a modern day Zelda. Have you ever had this talk with somebody? I was that person once. Oh, OK, but.

I had that discussion on the podcast. OK, and I said they should make it a larger open world. And I basically describe Breath of the Wild. No, so so I don't. Oh, when you say, oh, God, oh, God, now I know what you mean. No, not Zelda as a modern creation for fucking Link has a motorcycle. Updating the formula is forever what I agree with. And Link does have a motorcycle in Breath of the Wild.

Yeah, but you know what I mean. I'm talking about 2020. Yeah, Link, Ganon, Zelda. Yeah, modern day. Yeah, that conversation. Terrible. I've had it. Terrible. And I remember the people who wanted it and I remember how utterly frustrating it was

because it was someone who basically was like, I like GTA. I bought Madden. I got my GTA and I used to like Zelda. I don't like it anymore, but you know what? I would if they did this to it and you're like every single time. It's always the same. OK, kind of games you play of the game that I'm describing to you. Yeah. And it's like, do you find or buy anything else or like any other type?

Not really. I think the most frustrating thing about that, because I've heard variations of that argument for many games. And it's always I want all of my games to be in the same setting. I want the things from my childhood to now be aged up to where I am. Yeah. And it's like, but but those things exist where they were for a reason, no, that you liked when you were there.

I'm not secure enough in my adultness to play a game that is for all ages. It makes me feel insecure to play a baby game. I mean, they didn't use as many polite words. No, they didn't. But it was that sentiment. I suppose, you know. Yeah, I remember that discussion. I remember one of them in the art room in college.

I remember one of them. In high school. It was the worst. Yeah. And it was literally all that was the worst one precipitated by Rockstar releases. Yeah, every time it would come out, a GTA game would come out and everyone would go, wouldn't it be amazing if these 10 games that all have unique art styles

and settings took place in modern day and was like gangs and stuff and like the mafia? No, that would be terrible. Why can't I put a hooker on Epona's back and ride to the back of the windmill and get rupees for it? Because that's a fucking stupid idea, Jimmy. Whatever, you keep playing your baby shit. Yeah. So yeah, I will.

Thank you. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Take some. I hated those people. They were very hateable. Well, they still exist. You know what they exist as? People that don't really play games anymore.

This is what this game would look like if it was made in the unreal. Unreal Engine. Yeah, every single time you eat. It's always the funniest thing in the world. It's could you imagine if Pokemon was made with the Unreal Engine? Only if we're in that same field of grass and rocks with a perfect sky. It's always the same location and they just drag the models in. Nintendo hire this man immediately every time, every time.

It's fucking straight to World Star hip hop with a bunch of cry emojis. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. All right. It's always the default Unreal Engine settings to hire this man sucks for what? For opening up you for 40 seconds. It's just finding the finding the high end like Zelda model and just dragging it in. Anyway. We're still for the most part past it because

there's room and genres for all kinds. Yeah. Of I mean, shit, you're a great example of this. Like Kirby is about as like overtly, aesthetically for baby as anything could be because he's a fucking pink marshmallow to make baby noise. Correct. But you love that shit and you're secure enough in your adultness and your masculinity or whatever to be like, yeah, I love my pink marshmallow.

My pollo. He is. He is my boy. I'm secure in my pollo. Why pollo? That's what he says. Oh, OK. But that becomes like nicknaming or no, Kirby says pollo. No, but I mean, like that becomes like a of like a noun.

Yeah, it's like it's like peek-a-peek. Oh, OK. Pollo could be anything. Pollo is a state of mind. All right. OK, that was a little weird. But all right, fair enough. It's it's it's it's an it's an it's an omni word.

Yeah. She wish it was an omni word. It's not an omni word for Kirby. It is. Yeah. It's Kirby, like you would know. Is Kirby like fucking stupid or is he just a baby? He is eternally childlike, but also a being of instincts.

OK, so he's not like. OK, it's just it's it's it's a simple impulse. All right, food, eat friends. OK, don't eat friends. Sleep. All right. Got it. You know that level of sapience that's closer to sentience. Yeah, then sapience.

So like a lizard, like an iguana, but it's like you still grasp these concepts. Right. But you're just like one word is my feeling. And that's it. It's like a parrot. That's it. OK. Which is effectively like a baby.

Yeah. When you're really if you do it is a baby. As we cycle back to babies are fucking stupid. I never see no baby do maths. Kirby can't do math. Yeah. He can devour a universe, though. Yeah.

But how many universes did you devour Kirby? Well. I mean, in if you want to talk, it's not a real question. Well, it's not a real question because there's a second wheel. If you want to answer that, it's not a real question. You might get you might be surprised with the answer. If you want to send an email in, you can send that email down there to CastleSuperBeastMail at gmail.com.

The answer is not zero. That's CastleSuperBeastMail at gmail.com. That might be my favorite answer to asking what a number is. Because the answer of not zero says really that you weren't asking for a number. You're asking a yes or no question. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.

That's all you need to know. Oh, let's take one here. Noah says, Hello, dearest Castle Security beasts. I'm a nighttime mobile security guard in British Columbia. Let me tell you that bank truck drivers are totally justified in their jumpiness. Firstly, I work around the same time as they drive around bank to bank and I have to lock up entrances from time to time. I see the type of people who are out at this time and they're either drunk,

stumbling out of bars, homeless, shuffling about or some combination of the two. If you're really unlucky, they'll be high on something like meth or drunken. As we all know, these magical potions give you super armor in a way. I've had homeless people run at me with syringes. I've seen them yank them out of their arms and yes, they have run the bank truck, they run at the bank truck drivers too. At least the drivers have a weapon to defend themselves. Regular BC security guards can't have any weapons at all.

Heck, your flashlight has to be under a certain size and is made of plastic. And the steel toad boots we need to wear because the burnt out houses and construction sites would be considered a weapon if you get fired. If you fired or if you fought or blah, this is a run on fucking sentence. I'm sorry. Considered a weapon and get you fired if you kick someone away. And that's just when they are stopped at a bank. Don't get me starred, stared, started, I guess, on the crazy ass drivers that come out at night and bank drive.

I am just going to stop. I'm getting tired reading it. I'm sorry. But the idea was there. Stuff, stuff sentence has not ended yet. Bank truck drivers have to share the road with these clowns. OK, next sentence. Last week in my town, there was a head on collision. It's going someone served into the oncoming lane.

Long story. This is just OK. You know what? We get it. I've heard about how there are. The worst thing in in America is the Shantytowns in L.A. Yeah, close to 100,000 people homeless. And yeah, in Canada, it's B.C. Yeah, B.C. has got that problem. I forgot what the name of Skid Row is.

It's bad. But there's a name for the name. There's a homeless fucking universe out there. Noah. Yeah, I believe it because you're also from the place where that is at its worst. The description of a homeless. So so I want to thank this person's email because I have had a longstanding nightmare like phobia, paranoid delusion

of what if someone just stabbed you with a syringe? Yes. Because what if? Yeah, there's videos of it happens. People doing it. Not totally outside the realm of possibility, but adding in the the the the bonus of they're running at you with a syringe in their arm. Yes, that they then pull out to stab you with.

Has legitimately added a new level of legit of fear to me right now. Well, I'm sorry that you never stopped to think enough about it. But five out of five people attacking you with a syringe are confirmed meth heads coming at you. That's not no, no, I want to be really, really, really specific. It's not that they've used the syringe on themselves because, of course, they have.

They're reusing their needles, right? There's a difference in my mind of, hey, what's that? And you turn and see a man with a syringe in his hand coming at you. There's a wild difference between that and a man running at you with a syringe dangling out of his inner elbow. Yes. And then grabbing it, pulling it out from the whole.

And then coming at you because it's fresh because because it it's it's just way more real now. If the air was supposed to kill off anything, it didn't have a chance to. Also, I want to point out that a lot of people probably don't remember this story because I told it maybe eight years ago. One of the reasons why I'm extra so double a feared of this scenario is that when I worked at the grocery store,

we'd have homeless people that would get in the scuffles with employees. And I remember one time my supervisor, Amy, like, got into a scuffle one because he was stealing something and he bit her. And then she had the wonderful experience of going down to the hospital and getting the full barrage of tests. You have to know wondering. Did I just catch everything? Did she break? Did he break skin?

Yeah, totally. And luckily enough, came back all negative, totally fine. But that was a fun day for everyone at work. Right. Yeah. So like I got to see like face to face. I was I was there when it happened. Yeah. And and like of like somebody could just take something

and hit you and there goes ten years of your life in a second. Out of fear. Yeah, just out of the fear, just out of the fear. Yeah. Oh, man, it's really hard not to skirp, stomp a motherfucker after that happens, but you don't want to. You don't want to. You don't want to do it. But if people weren't there, I'm sure she would have. It's really hard to not just go all fucking wild.

Like it's so it's such an unbelievable escalation. You know what I mean? The human bite. Yeah, it's like like the person has to know that they deserve anything that happens after that, you know, you have to. Yeah. Oh, I'm getting a real nice feeling in my stomach right now. Mm hmm. At least taste.

It's the butterflies, a shittier cousin panic. Yeah. And it's like, you know, like the going for the bite means you're super not right. You're not all there, but. God, you just wow. That's a that's a stompin. That's a stompin. All right.

Anyway, Tom says, Dirt Chewbacca and Uncar Plutt. Correction concerning your description, Pat, of the ending of the sixth day, you brought it up twice and got it wrong both times. Sick. The main villain is dying from a stomach wound. He copies the memory, but the clone comes out early and deformed. Yeah, there is not another clone after that.

The deformed clone, which is a physical manifestation of how evil the character looks on the inside symbolism, proceeds to strip the clothes off of the dying version of himself and talk shit to his dying double as he does it. OK, like Pat, this scene freaked me out and stuck in my memory. It's a great scene from a mediocre action flick. It's it's funny because I remembered it wrong, but the horror was still there in my mind.

Yeah, that's pretty that's pretty fucked up like cloning yourself or teleporting yourself or one of any of these things is not eternal life. It's just a duplicate. All right, we got one here. Dear Castle Russell, Bros. Recent talk of hustles brought up a happy memory from high school. Friends and I had free unscheduled period during senior year. Cool.

We'd sneak out wander around downtown for an hour every day. One day we stopped at a ride aid to get a 24 pack of Mountain Dew. Billy noticed. For my friend Billy during our physics class, he was doing his own separate hustle and I saw something that seemed too good to be true. They were selling six two liter bottles of soda for one dollar. Oh, my God. Tahitian treat, Werner's and W Cream soda, ginger ale, nothing super popular,

but a steel nonetheless. That's yeah, that's ridiculous. We carried as much as we could and loaded it up to the trunk of our car, came back and got more until they ran out of stock. We sold two liters for one dollar during lunch for the next month. All in all, we made about 40 bucks and still had a trunk full of soda to last the rest of the school year. So hearing the soda locker story was very nostalgic and brought about a weird craving for Werner's ginger beer.

Nowadays, the only money I make on the side is by doing anti commissions, but I still have kids which really limits how often I have time for that. All right, young hustle, enjoy your work. That is a hell of a steal. You got to do that's free money. You got to do it. You could have sold that for almost anything and made money off of it. You can't not do it.

Uh, dear Castle Super Beast ballers, in the last episode of the podcast, there was a passing line about the penalties of baseball cheating that caught my attention. Pat brought up killing the team, not the players as a penalty for cheating. That sounds ridiculous, but there actually is such a thing as a death penalty in sports. In college sports, the NCAA has the power to ban a school from competing in a sport for at least one year.

This is the harshest penalty a team can receive. And as such, it's only been used five times in the history of college sports, most notably the death of Southern Methodist University's football program. SMU athletes were paid 50 to 725 dollars a month. And after seven probations, the NCAA brought down the acts. SMU's football program was erased from the public eye from 1988 to 1990, which doesn't seem that bad at first glance. However, between the stigma brought on by the high profile scandal,

the lack of activity for two years destroyed the program and there weren't enough players to form a football team after the death penalty was lifted. The earth was raised and the ground salted. The SMU's entire conference collapsed thanks to the PR brought on by the scandal. They didn't return until 2009, so they haven't been doing much since coming back from the dead.

There's a cool documentary on it. I don't even like football and I thought it was awesome. Still unsure if it's worse than being pitted against a team of mustangs, though. Stay awesome from Holbag 69. Yeah, I'm familiar with the death penalty stuff with sports. So, in particular, and I remember vividly because there was a school that did not get the death penalty, which was Penn State when it came out that everybody knew

and was covering up dozens of child rapes. Yeah. And the like all the way up the chain and the coaching and all that shit. And somehow they didn't give that school the death penalty for their sports program. Yes. Which was the most outrageous shit that I could think of in terms of college sports, especially after you just mentioned that the team that did get the penalty was for the players getting paid.

The infraction here was the under the table paying of players or rather incentivizing people to join their school. Yeah, by paying them off the books to because college students are not allowed to make money off of college ball, even though the school makes a shit zillion dollar to begin with. Right. Bribing people to come to your school. Sure, get it. That's the problem known as a scholarship. Yes, exactly.

Football players who can barely read are given full class scholarships. Yeah, like get a shoe deal, though. Yeah, eventually. You get a shoe deal as much as you want. Yeah, fucking outrageous. But that's not changing. And like that's been bullshit for years. So, you know, you see those like we saw in the fucking video games where it's like, yeah, you're like this is owned by.

Oh, that apparently passed a law says that the players can get paid now for their work. When was that recent? Because it must have been over that kerfuffle last year or the year before. Remember when the unions were all getting all busy about it? I heard the kerfuffle when there was the video game thing. That's the last time I heard that. I believe it was over that. Yeah. It's like, what do you mean?

You can use our likenesses and like that's it. Yeah. Yeah, that must have led to something. It's like if the only in California. Oh, if the NCAA was not like aggressively being as fucking grubby as possible. Here's about about making money off of the thing that they don't have to pay for. You know what I mean? I would like to call out our American audience for a moment.

You're sitting forward and making your righteous indignation. I am so fed up with something. It's not it's not a big deal, but it's so annoying. Hey, isn't it like this in the States? And then people go, no, it's not. And then invariably comes down. Well, that is in this part. And it's like, it's like, you guys don't know that you the other states exist.

Like that, that that thing went. They're totally allowed getting paid. Pat, you're super wrong. And then it's like, oh, no, wait, they're actually banned from getting paid in forty nine out of 50 states. All right. But the people who live in California are like, oh, yeah, they changed it totally. It's almost like a union, almost like it's a union of different states

that are just, you know, united in some way, but also still different. Yeah. United cities of America. Yeah. So that's understandable. Yeah, that's crazy. God, fuck that. Fuck that exploitation. That is that is fucking out of control. You should go play ball in California, apparently, is what I'm hearing from this.

I will not play ball. You cannot make not you. You killed that guy. Last one here will take from Sean, who says, hey, guys, Sean here. I'll probably fuck up explaining this, but I can't speak in music regarding music heard in anime and games in Japan. Do you ever find they kind of sound the same if only for a few seconds every now and then talking about composition, not necessarily vocals.

The same melodies being incorporated into different songs. Yeah, they're all pop music, not asking if similar music has ever been written. Of course, it has. But rather that if you've never noticed what I'm talking about, I find I notice it more in Japanese pop culture songs than anywhere else. Apologies if it's hard to follow. I'm not very knowledgeable about music. Oh, absolutely. Love the show.

There's an old comedy bit of a Canadian like music comedy bit where they describe all the pop songs you can write with the same four chords. Packabelle's Canon. That thing is the basis of many, many, many, many, many pop songs. And there's two videos about it, actually. There's one video with a dude who's kind of going through multiple songs and repeating the story about how every song he hears just reminds him of being in classical music training school and how it's like, oh, God, I can't escape it.

And the other video is the Axis of Awesome, which is the three guys. Yeah, that's the one who are doing their life, the four chords. Yeah. Yeah. And they also sing the song I'm more than a bird. I'm more than a plane. I'm a bird plane. Yeah. I'm a fucking bird plane. Can't stop me. I'm a bird plane. Yeah. Yeah. That was that was a funny one, too.

There's two. Yeah, two really good videos about it. But ultimately, you're not crazy. Music, many music sounds similar. But with this in particular, even though you said not necessarily the vocals, but the vocals, too, because in particular, there's definitely an OP feeling. Oh, yeah. The OP feeling is your high-pitched female vocalist, you know, doing Soda Iroh days or a Kawashi tie, you know, and whatever.

And it's a lot of what turns into Hatsune Miku style music as a lead up and then a big pop and then it fades down so that you can get the characters. Right. And in a lot of cases, it'll go into a kind of like pop metal sound that is, you know, it accelerates in a pretty not not every anime can have the fucking like grunge death metal of like, what's it called again? Maximum the Hormone. No, no, no, it's your it's your guys fault. I'm not popular. Oh, a Watamote and Watamote.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. But there's that. And then there's the, you know, some of them go into like, you'll get like a violin or in some cases you will get like a piano, but then it'll kick back into this, you know, it's it's it's an ancient fucking Brian Posein music video called Metal by Numbers. Yeah, which is the same bit, but metal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Metal by Numbers is also really funny. Yeah, it's taking you through the steps of. Yeah, that's how you write a metal song. This is how you write a metal song. Yeah, I think it's it was the days he's growling or the wookie part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really good. It was really funny. And then the other version of that, I would say, is the the male vocalist

version, yeah, which is almost the same thing, except it goes into bleach, second dopey, kind of like that's that's the template. Yeah, right. Of the fucking Naruto. It's got to be like over over no music whatsoever, no music bed whatsoever and then a kick in and then the music's the rock starts up. There's something really you just reminded me of one of my favorite Prozidi bits where they're playing music in the car.

And I was, oh, hey, this song's cool. What's it from? Oh, it's this band. This a lot of people don't know about it out in Japan. It's like, no, no, I asked you what it's from. Naruto. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which is all the more why we can appreciate when we hear something like the pillows. Yeah, or anything by Masaki Endo. Yeah, because you're like, fuck, yeah, let's get that in there.

Or jam project. Yeah, right. Those are three things that have become their own genres into themselves. But well, no, that's not true with the pillows. But I mean, either way, the pillows, the brand new genre. No, no, no, sorry. I mean, to say that like they were unique enough to anime at the time that it was like it made a big impact. And I was like, oh, that's so not typical.

Yeah, I like that a lot. But we totally know exactly what you're talking about. And it is basically what is popular, because if you go to Japan and you are walking around, it doesn't have to be associated with anime, OPs or games. You will hear music like that just playing in different places. You will see it on like advert at ads and in movies and, you know, it's all over the place.

Go watch a movie trailer. They always do that thing where they switch up to like four different songs in the trailer. I hate that. It's so annoying. The tone is fucking wrecked every time because when it gets to the action part, they got to play the action music for 15 seconds like the least subtle thing that could ever exist and then switch over to the soft music for the soft moment. Like, what are you doing?

Switching music in 30 seconds. Anyway, Japan's crazy, man. Never change. OK, well. I'm good with that. Oh, yeah. OK. And will it work and they check will it out? They can check will it out on Willie versus once again.

Table Lords, role playing adventures, spec ops, the line, Death Stranding. I have five starred every single prepper on both maps. Wow, you did more than me. Besides the preppers I found, did you get the to get the little monster energy key chain? Sure did. It's not hilarious. Yeah, what does it do?

I think it permanent status boosts. I think it makes your stamina decrease a little slow. You can look at what they do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They give you a little description. I think it makes your stamina last longer. Yeah, yeah. So that continues over on Willie versus.

And of course, the stream you can tune in on Twitch.tv. Suspicionly versus where that all continues as well as the podcast. Willie will figure it out, which you can check out when it comes out, when it comes out, which it comes out to the regular channel. But it also you can just subscribe to it like a regular podcast. Willie will figure it out.com. All right, I'll see you guys tomorrow on angry's

Pat on Twitch for more resume zero, which sucks. But Rebecca, though, she's cool. Billy's cool. Everything else sucks.