Castle Super Beast - CSB 057: Full Throated Hard R Deep Nut Wheelchair Miracle: Piss Bottle Dominance

Episode Date: February 25, 2020

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["Evil Music plays"] Good morning, everyone. Hello. How's everyone today? That's great. We're here in the morning with K72.M. Get fucked. You're trying.

On your way to work today. You're absolutely trying. Go to hell. Let the record show that you showed up. All right, we got NSYNC albums that I stole from the last CD Store in Existence. Is that the most reference? I don't know what the kids listen to now, man.

NSYNC. I fuck. Well, OK, what's a band? All right, let's hear it. All right, you know what? There you go. Volta Mars. No, that's wrong.

That's a combination of two different bands. That's the thing I like that I might have said once, that you heard and you're putting those words together. No, it's the Mars Volta. But that's also very, very dated, very dated. That this is this is entertaining. I was thinking Bruno Mars, actually. Oh, were you?

Yeah. OK, because I've talked about the Mars Volta, but made a seat. No. This is this is hilarious. Elvia. What's the deal with with the Mars Volta, the new the new albums? I mean, they fucking they do half an hour songs and they just kind of crush it for a really long time on stage.

And it's great. You should check out Elvia Vasquez. It's a really good song. But if you're if you're trying to get more modern and contemporary, I yeah, let's let's let's let's go. Let's get your best. Dude, when I when when I was in the car, my dad would just put on like you 92, which was the fucking 92 Montreal.

And it's like so these 990. Oh, sorry, oldies 990. So I'm more familiar with like the Beatles and the monkeys and all these 990 played Celine, though. So well, here's the thing. It depends how when you were listening to it, because they would always go 40 years in the past. And as we all know, Celine is 40 years ago.

She's one of those stopped in time people. Yes. In that you went stop in time. Yeah. OK, let's get some. If you want to sound remotely like OK, well, here here, let's phrase it in a way where you'll pay attention. If.

If you want to make people face palm and upset everybody every time by knowing something actually accurate in like or or an approximation of it, like your dad, an approximation of accuracy. Yeah. So you know how you don't cover your face when you dab and it makes it worse, therefore, better because everyone who sees it kind of dies a little bit.

Oh, is that a thing? Otherwise, I'm not doing that on purpose. I just. Oh, really? You are supposed to cover your face during a dab. My plan is successful. That's my plan is super working. You're not kidding. No, I am not kidding.

The whole point. Well, the the the no, the whole point of me dabbing is to like is to read it is to cringe everybody out the room. Right. And you're you're literally trying to ruin it. So therefore, you ruin it because you're trying to do it in the worst possible way. No, you're for me, I'm doing it in maximum ignorance,

which I just assume will be the worst possible way. OK, so the whole point is to cover your face. Right. Why? But like, you might have seen that meme of the kid who's dabbing and then underneath his dab, he's crying. OK, you've seen that one. I have not, but that sounds really funny. Really? Oh, my God.

I've discovered every time me and you talk about like social media and or the Internet, I feel like you and I are on different Internets. I mean, sort of, because there's also Black Internet. Yeah. But beyond Black Internet. No, but, you know, I mean, like fucking Eli was browsing Black Internet. I'm like, why you want Black Internet? Because he lives in Kentucky. What are you doing?

He can he can browse and do whatever he wants. Black Twitter is black Twitter. But that's not that's not the point. It's not the difference because we're still primarily on fucking dumb YouTuber video game Twitter. That's true, right? That's that's which, as we all know, is the worst Twitter. It is. It is that. Right. We all know.

And, you know, you don't always have to swipe over to current events to see what's happening. I avoid doing that as much as I possibly can. But I'm here's how I know that you are exposed to the modern. Uh-huh. You get in an Uber. I do. I have gotten an Uber. And the Ubers often have the music play.

Oh, that that brain part turned off. But when you hear the same thing, even if you love or hate it a number of times. No, that brain part turned off. It's going to commit. It's going to scratch into the fucking hard drive. You know? No. Really? No. No. Like how long before you didn't listen to NSYNC,

but then it was around you enough that eventually it kicked in and people were playing that shit. Yeah. On stop. And you know what people play now? What's that? Billy Eilish. Oh, I know Billy Eilish or the weekend. I think the funniest thing about me and Billy Eilish is that the first time

I ever heard about Billy Eilish, it was a Seth Everman video about how to cover Billy Eilish's bad guy with like his couch furniture. OK, and I went. Does the song really sound like that? That's weird. OK. Well, I didn't get the joke. Well, she's she's in it. That's that's an example of where where it's at nowadays.

And also because like I think, yeah, she's doing the new double seven song. Yes. So there you know that that's a thing. So there you go. Aha. So you can you don't have to say your NSYNC when you that first Evanescence album had some decent songs on it. Right. OK, so I gave you that CD, if I remember correctly. And then you you listen to it and you said, what if that girl has a really pretty

voice? Imagine if she was singing about anything that mattered. Yeah. Bring you decade. I don't have an essence pirate CD reviews. If that was my take, that was a pretty good take back then. I don't disagree with that. However, a bit destroyed because there we go. We've got right to the heart of it.

That is in there. You just you're you're swerving around what you know to get to, you know, the thing that'll get the most out of people. I I'm just your Kauffman. I am so I am so what do you call it? I'm so out of my depth on popular and current music that I make an attempt to swerve away, but everything I say will be wrong. But you're not.

You're deliberately swerving away. Yeah, that's what I just said. Yeah, you're but but the but it's not that the the the the it's not that the rest of the road isn't there and that your road leads. Well, the only time I actually encounter popular music is in an Uber, at which point it doesn't sink in because I can't remember a song unless I get a title. I'm saying and the and like Paige listening to music on her phone.

Like that's it. That's literally it. I'm saying your Kauffman on stage reading The Great Gatsby. You're the Great Gatsby on stage. That was the book he pulled out. That doesn't seem like the kind of thing for his bit with the with the children's song, to be perfectly honest, it doesn't matter what book you pull out on stage. If you start reading it and it has more than 10 pages,

the effect is is felt. Uh huh. That's true. If I could fucking go up there and read Danganronpa Episode Zero, which you would do and which you would do. And after, you know, a solid 10 minutes, you're going to start getting the reaction that he got, which is what do we do in here?

What is this? Yo, this sucks. Get off the stage. It's like, oh, I see. Anti humor. Was the anti humor really invented all the way back in like the 60s, 70s? I mean, I don't know if I'm labeling it correctly. I thought that's what it was called. If you go to the wiki, the wiki definition of it, it might be something else.

But whether you call it that or the whatever else. It's the it's the idea of like the joke is that, you know, the audience hates it and the joke isn't funny. I feel like that's why it's funny. I feel like if he enjoys it, the worst application of anti humor was back when I was in high school and anti humor was all the rage. But it was mainly being used to cover completely failed jokes. So man would tell joke, joke would go very wrong

and everyone would stare and they were like, did you get it? It's anti humor. It's not supposed to be funny. And then they would turn away and a single tear would roll down their cheek because it wasn't anti humor. It was genuine. Yeah. No, that's not how you do it. I learned I learned from more than enough a comedian episodes, whether radio or podcast form, that you go for the joke

and then the joke bombs and then everyone acknowledges the bomb. And you go fuck whatever the joke was. You're now an asshole for attempting. Reminds me of Bill Burr. Sure. A sequence in which he starts talking about Rihanna and about beaten women. And the crowd just goes dead. The crowd just goes completely dead. And he points out, look how uncomfortable the room is right now.

You're all about ready to jump me. Yeah. Yeah. And like, it is so like even through a screen, it's so palpable. Like, Bill. Yeah. Bill, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. No, I like I like when, you know, I mean, and like again, if Patrice was in the room, he rips you open. Yeah. But like, I like when the attempt is made and then there's like a dead pause and then the comedian just goes nothing.

No one. Nobody. All right. Then at all. Really? Next next on the. Hey, well, you know, that's it. It's so artist. You know, I feel bad for I feel bad for the the the what I don't know what I'd call it, like the essayist, like the crafter comedian, you know, the guy like the Seinfeld who will like work on a joke for like 18 months, right?

And craft it and sculpt it and make the perfect gag. And I remember watching Mitch Hedberg, who is blazed and barely visible on stage. Yeah. Or Stephen Ray. Hey, so I I went to talk at the other day. I tried to walk in, but I missed and everybody goes, oh, man. Oh, geez. Set up punch, set up punch. And it's like it's 110 percent delivery. There's no content to any Mitch Hedberg joke.

Yeah. And I mean, that's, you know, that's what he, you know, like, again, like, that's that's his style, right? There's a couple others that have that do that. But it's interesting when you listen to a lot of different stand-ups where they talk about how there's a point a couple years in where you realize that if you just want to go up on stage and get people to laugh at you, you actually can just do that any time easily. But if you want to get people to like die and like never forget the bit

you talked about, you have to like craft it and do that thing where you tell a couple versions of it or it sucks until you find the exact wording and the exact timing and the exact phrasing for it to explode in most new audiences' ears, you know. And it is true, like you grab a couple of like Mitch Hedberg, again, like you grab a couple of your favorite ones, you know, like everyone's got like they're nonhumor. Like they're fucking there's nothing to them.

Yeah, you know, when he talks about like a put in a frog in a glass bottle and he says, I'm going to give it a twig and a leaf to recreate its natural habitat. It's delivery. Yeah, you know. But again, but the the big set up to punch that is like. Bring out, bring out, bring you along in a story. Yeah, yeah, that like you that that it lands that much like I'm there. It's a top in the moment. Absolutely.

It's it's it's a fucking absolutely like it's nuclear, you know, and it's a bigger impact. So it's a it's a craft that like comedians appreciate more and more. I don't think I've ever had a chance to talk about this particular thing on the podcast and it's not that long or important. But I do want to say that my most respect of any comedian, comic writer, anything goes to people like Rodney Dangerfield and Rip Taylor. People who had comedy careers of 40 plus years

and they're they're working the whole time and they're like, I'm going to do one joke my whole life. And I'm going to very, very slightly vary it up. Guess what? What? Rodney Dangerfield did not do that. Rodney Dangerfield was a traditional comic. No, that had literally one, he only got anywhere later in his life because he started later

in the in comedy to begin with. He wasn't doing it his entire life. Yeah, Rodney started late and two, when he first came up, he didn't have that angle. OK, he had to figure it out. All right, well, kick Rodney off the list. I'm just going to talk about how much I love Rip Taylor. Yeah. And how that man has made throwing confetti at people. The best thing in the world for 80, 100 years.

I mean, once once he figured out no respect, it was all classic from there, you know, but he had to figure it out, right? And and it's interesting how the like when you find out the whole the story is behind a lot of these these huge huge acts where like it's almost like a character act or like a particular gimmick in a way because finding out that that wasn't always there is super weird with Rodney. It's almost you don't want to see it. You don't want to see him go up there and not be that guy.

I mean, never see Gilbert Godfrey talk with his real fucking voice. OK, well, it's nightmarish. Really? Yeah, I haven't seen that. It's just some regular jackoff. OK, hey, guys, what's going on? I mean, he does a podcast, though, so you can hear him talking and it's it is his voice, but there is the microphone play up version. Yeah, that's going to be me presenting the aristocrats.

Right. That's what he's doing on stage. But like if he's doing the podcast, it's still that, but it's just not enunciating at that exact volume, right? But the biggest one is Andrew Dice Clay, right? The Dice Man was a character that was not actually him. And and like Andrew Clay would go up and just do his like his straight up whatever random little bits. And then he'd be like kind of like doing Elvis impersonations and things like that.

And then one of his characters was Oh, the Dice Man. Hickory, dickery doc, you know, like all that shit. Jack and Jill went up the hill. They each had 25 cents. Jill came down with 50 cents. She needed the money. Oh, right. Like that shit hit so hard when he did it as that character that he literally went, oh, this is my best material.

Now transform. I am now going to do this on stage all the time. So the whole hour became the Dice Man, right? And then eventually the hour becomes the Dice Man. Well, you might as well put the glove and leather jacket and shades on and become the Dice Man. I think that at that point, you're legally obligated to never take the character off. And then he never took the character off.

Yeah, because off stage, he became the Dice Man. That's so weird. And he literally started acting that way and being that way. And like, is there is there like a like a note somewhere? Like, help me, I'm in this Dice Hell. It's super totally is exactly what happened. He started being that obnoxious guy just throughout life. And it was what he was known for.

So he leaned into it. You know, our. Um, uh, God, uh, what was the other one? The fucking. Pauli Shore. Yeah. Same thing. Pauli Shore did normal comedy, right?

Like Mitzi Shore, like own the like of super famous comedy joint. And like he was doing regular comedy and then the weasel. Right. The weasel was a character. Jesus. The character got popular. He became the weasel and then every movie he did was that, you know, it just Larry, the cable guy, same shit.

And we just get a new Hollywood Squares. So like I can find out about new celebrities. And I was just thinking about this. I'm like, because my brain then jumped from these people to Bobcat Goldwaith. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, was Bobcat a kid? Probably setting the chair on fire on the on the on the Tonight Show.

And then I'm like, I don't know who fuck them. OK, but like the problem with that is that you don't need it. Hollywood Squares to tell you about new people, they already exist. And who those people are is every time you see a Twitter moment about a name you've never heard of. And then you're like, who is what is this? And you click on it and it says they're followed by seven million people. And I go, oh, and you're looking for the YouTube link.

And there's none. There's no YouTube link. There's no link to an Instagram and I'm nothing. You're like, what is this non influencer form of fame? I do not understand it anymore. That is exactly what you're describing. Oh, I hate it. You know, and then you have to find out like down the line, like, oh, yeah.

Well, they dated a musician and then they were also like, I don't know, in a movie somewhere. I I I might be unpopular if I say this amongst many people. But when I see trending in my internet window, rumors of so and so on a date with blah, blah, blah, everyone who wrote that and reads that can go die. Yeah. Well, you know, like it's pretty terrible, like tabloid gossip. And or like, oh, what's what's

whoever's new house like like fucking go to hell. Yeah, it's awful. Everything to do with Royal Family Bullshit. Yeah, is infuriating on a deep level. I can't even talk about the Royal Family on this podcast, because every time I do, I get real heated and say real stupid shit. OK, well, I have family that we're like, oh, the Royal Family is so noble that I was like.

Grandma, I don't know about that. Yeah, who's her who's her favorite royal? Is it Prince Andrew? I don't know. He likes pizza. So I can't ask Grandma's ashes. Her favorite or I'll find out. Find out who your favorite royal is. Listen, so the the deal is that that shit is garbage.

And obviously, guess what? The Inquirer National Inquirer and shit has been making money off of it before the internet for years. So why wouldn't it work committed to a digital format? I ran into the most astonishing. This is the this is the perfect encapsulation. When I was a young man, even though I hate the Royals, I will admit that the princess die.

Going out in that car crash was pretty tragic, right? Getting away from the paparazzi and all that shit. And I knew someone who bawled their eyes out over the Princess Diana thing. And it was like, it's so terrible. I can't believe it. And then we were walking somewhere and they saw a copy of National Inquirer

that was covering the car crash and ran over and picked it up and bought it and read it cover to cover. Because they had to know. And I looked at them and I'm like, you totally had a part in killing that lady. And they got very upset with me. Mm hmm. Very upset. That's a bit of a high concept for for somebody

that is running over to grab that paper. Also, I think I'm 10. Yeah. At this point. Oh, wow. Well, because think think back how long ago that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I even that's. But that's a very advanced conclusion to draw as a 10 year old. Yeah. But I was like grossed out by that shit. And I'm like people who. Congratulations. I was like, people who sold those pictures.

You figured that out before your balls dropped. Congratulations. I don't know if they dropped so well, it's unclear. That's a very advanced concept. And the person who got burned by that should feel roasted. It was an adult. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's that's, you know, your rubber necking in print form. Yeah. You know. That is a yeah.

That's one of the fucking most garbage ones. And then the fact that like all these years later, it continues to be a thing because of all the marriages going on and whatever. You're just like, dear God, right? And for some reason, whenever something pops off, it's like, like whenever that, you know, you like, there's like shit where it's like, hey, Twitter has curated for you, whatever you and you. Oh, yeah, I did.

Yeah. And you turn that shit off and then it's like, OK, but the only thing that matters right now on earth is what is happening with this baby, though. Oh, yeah. So it doesn't matter whether you turn it on or off. This is what we're pushing at you. Pretty fucking gross. The fact that I even know that the the younger of the two decided to step back from the royal family is like, I don't need that information.

I don't care. Isn't it important to you? You know what's the one thing that I will say? And I'm like, you know, this like I didn't care anything about knowing this, but seeing it also just like doubles down. All these feelings we're discussing is there was a giant picture that was a side by side of articles written about the older prince's wife and the younger one. So Kate versus Megan.

OK, right. And it was literally like there's shit where it's just like, are these photos of Kate showing like these photos of Kate with her hand on her pregnant stomach, show how much she's already in love with her kid. Yeah. And then the Megan version is just like hand on pregnant stomach. It's all about me. Selfish, selfish, selfish. It's it's an entire right, selfish gesture.

Bad industry built on like in like inferring bullshit from nothing. It was wild because they actually had like 20 different topics side by side of the exact same thing. But when Kate did it, it was it was marvelous. It was spectacular. But when Megan did it, it was horrible. She's ruining everything, right? This this American coming over and bringing her, you know, who knows what?

I forget her mixed ways. I got what it was. I forget it might be like an ancient, I don't know. I'd be an ancient vice. I don't know. But journalists went down to Hollywood for a little experiment. And would pick random paparazzo and just start videotaping them while they were like hanging out outside of celebrity houses and following them around.

And to a one, they all started going crazy within like an hour. Yeah. And just freaking out and getting violent. And it's like, oh, you're all just as garbage as I thought you were. So how wonderful is that? Judgment like guilty judgment. Oh, yeah. And then I followed all of these these things like to the point where there was like a logical conclusion you have to draw because you see moments where there's like there's really great ones where I forget who it was.

I think it was like Chris Rock or it was either Chris Rock or Seinfeld or one of the famous comedian that kind of was just kind of had a moment or no, or might have been Chappelle even, whatever. But they were just having a candid moment of just like, hey, what's up, guys? What's going on? You know, and they're just like, oh, not much. Click, click, click, anything or whatever. And he's just like, no, and it's like, yeah, you what's going on?

Like talk to me. How's your how's your kids? How's your life going? You know, like just having this kind of moment with them because it's like, there's nothing else you can really do. Yeah. And we've seen the other version of it where like someone gets mad enough where you're taking pictures of their kids and I'm going to smash the camera and the camera at which point then you've got their lawyer it up to the nine so they can fucking like all the debris from the camera

hit me in the ankle, which means I can't walk, which means I can't work. Therefore, yeah, the lawsuit to the infinity, right? And yeah, anyway, it just you take it to the logical conclusion of just like, obviously, if those people get followed by people, yeah, right, they're going to hate it. Obviously, they don't want the same thing turned back on them. But like, you know, it's not a mystery to point out the grossness of like what they're doing for the paycheck they receive for those photos.

Yeah, because like people rob and kill people. That's true. Do you know what I mean? I am aware. So like it's just there's this. So I think you just have to go right. I think you're amongst. I think that's what is trash. I think there's a there's a specific like little box in society

that we live in, by the way, with professions that are technically legal. Right. So everything that is obviously clearly, morally wrong by almost anyone's personal standard, but not explicitly against the law. So they get a pass. Yeah, you're vulturing. Yeah, I think is not actually like harmful in a direct provable manner in the court of law. Therefore, the vulture can, as long as they're not trespassing on your property, stand as far back as they want and use their sniper scope to take a picture of you in your fucking house.

Bleaching your asshole. Yeah, it's like, I want to scoop. What what shade of bleach did he use? This is a real scandal because, you know, this person's actually sponsored by a baby's brand bleach asshole. But they were using spicy brand bleach asshole. This is a huge scandal. How many creases?

How many folds can we see? Get that lens out. Yeah, this picture is worthless. I can't see a single crease and I want to say. I want to say like there was a world record for the most expensive paparazzi photo that had to do with the Royals that was like in the multi millions. Yeah, I think it was some bullshit where they had to use like a fucking hyper telescope to like zoom in over a wall. Some some.

Yeah, I don't know what it was, whether it was a wedding photo or I don't know what it was, but it was something. And they were just like, yeah, this just broke shattered all records because there was a newspaper that was willing to shell this kind of money out for it, therefore, just completely like. Listen, man, I'm not a validating. I'm not a bad guy. If there was no demand, I wouldn't have to get this shit. No, it's the price they pay.

Right. I wouldn't be a vulture if you guys didn't buy it. Vulture culture. And then the newspaper that's like, oh, especially when it's a newspaper that's like the integrity of journalism. That's like, you know, fucking running up these screenshots of like random person. If we don't like you, here's a picture of you with your mouth open. Oh, man. Those every photo of you with your mouth open looks like garbage.

I am the first time I saw those was back in the day when I was walking. I was going down to the metro to go to school. And I remember seeing like they had pictures of Jean Kratien, who was like the former Prime Minister of Canada, like a couple steps ago. Trudeau Harper Martin, then Christian, so he's a while back. He's a while back. He was when we were 10 to 20. I want to say not even 20.

Like, yeah, like five to 15. Early years. Yeah. But I remember just seeing pictures of him mid-speech going like, ah. So let's get some context, because you're all going to try and Google Jean Kratien. Jean Kratien was old as fuck and he was a stroke survivor. Yeah. And he was from Bumfuck, nowhere. North in Quebec. Yeah. So this was a French ass old man with a busted fucking face

who you could barely understand every photo of him look like shit. Exactly. Also, they're going to try to Google him because you got a spell. And then you then you had like the moments where he was doing the thing that you do with any politician and he looked like a fucking deranged psychopath. But he is a stroke victim. Yeah. So it was extra fucked up. Yeah. But they were like, do you remember that fucking ad they ran? This is normally not the kind of thing it would bring up.

But we're talking 10 plus year old Canadian politics when the fucking Tories ran that motherfucking ad. What's a Tory? A Tory is a conservative thing. But anyway, they ran this ad of fucking Kratien in full stroke face. Yeah. And just like, he was yelling at a protest or something. Shit. Yeah. He was pointing. And it's like, is this the way you want your prime minister to look to everyone?

And it was up for like a day. Yeah. Before like everyone on the planet was like, that man had a stroke. You motherfucking piece of shit. What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not John. Yeah. Folks are struggling. It's not John. It's Jean. J E A M Jean. Jean Kretien. Yeah.

With the H. Yeah. But yeah, that that's exactly it, right? It's super fucked. And that was one of the first I remember of just like the wide mouth photos being like, oh, this is how you just make people look their dumbest no matter what they're doing. Hey, everyone at home now has the ability to do this themselves. Take a YouTube video of your favorite YouTuber and just pause at any random

moment and you're good. For those of you, Photoshop a dick right in there. Yeah. For those of you, that's what it's for. You can't hear the sounds of our mouths making an o-face. It's yeah, the definitive photo. The one that will be etched forever. I was going to say like a fucking sticky, sticky printed over my gravestone. No, you know, it'll be really it will be engraved upon a disk of solid gold

and loaded up into the Voyager 9 spacecraft to be blasted out past the or cloud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Exactly. And I know what you're thinking. Creative types. You're thinking that's a hilarious image. Let me jump in and open my Photoshop right now. Yeah. Guess what? No retweets for you. No. Someone's a coward.

None. No, I'm just I'm so done with that face. I love retweeting, unflattering photoshop. I've retweeted so many unflattering things of myself on a regular basis. But not that one. I need them to be new. I want new, unflattering shit. What this give me new shit. So what? Old shit's tired. So what?

Face woolly with the with the fucking purple on his mouth. I'm done. It's been years. So what we are saying to all of you Photoshop wizards is that what you need to do is make a cool new fancy Photoshop. That's funny, but hide almost microscopically small. Yeah, the woolly blueberry pie. Oh, face in there. Sure. So that woolly will retweet it and then go curses.

It was in there if you zoom in. It was in the DMC five four couch or whatever. There was it was hidden somewhere in there. So we said, yeah, listen, I'm I'm telling you is I'm telling it like it is. I'm here telling it like it is my house for a legitimate retweet. Yeah, I continue calling me a coward after last week's podcast title. But you're a coward for it, but then you can uncoward it.

I stared long and hard at that button. Listen, people learned about history, but that's what surprised me. I was unknowingly expecting that people, especially Americans, would know their history now, and they didn't. So it led to so much confusion that people that saw the coward title thought that was the bad one. And then all you you cleaned it up, you cleaned it up. And they thought it got cleaned up,

not remotely realizing how fucked that entire thing was because apparently they don't know the fucking history, which is crazy because I'm Canadian. I would like to point out that's 102 years ago. That is far. No, it's not. Oh, shit. It's 82. 82, 98, 98. We're in 2020. So yeah, it'd be 102 years.

Close to 100 years ago. You thought World War One was fought with muskets. Yeah, I didn't know my shit. That was the same. That was the same year. Yeah. But I'm saying that I thought that that was something that happened in history class for America. No. And surprisingly, it wasn't. I didn't know that. I barely remember anything that I got taught in history class.

Everything was about. And then the Britain, you know, the French showed up in Nouvelle-France and then the British took it and we were very sad. And then maybe my my impression of your faith of the of history classes is grandly overstated, perhaps throughout my life. The importance of black history events might have not been the same as yours or other peoples. Perhaps there was a difference of emphasis for the vast majority

of my life, black history month and or black history was this is the time during school that I write a little 500 word essay on the Underground Railroad. Have you ever been pulled aside and told that you have to work twice as hard and be twice as good and and so on and so forth? No. OK. I did not have your grandmother. There are. That was not my grandma. I was on your grandma. No.

There were many, many differences I can infer. No, in fact, I was pulled aside by someone and told who, no matter how hard they work, who you shouldn't trust. And I was like, I'm not going to. No, no, I'm not buying this one. Yeah. Fuck this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's for the exact opposite experience. Yeah. There is a funny.

There is a real funny look like I'm seeing a real funny divide of folks going, oh, my God, too real. Yeah. And folks going, wait, what? You mean is this about the World War? What are you guys talking about? Yeah, like, like, OK. So I had to Google search it in the in the broadcast. You were. Yes. Sorry.

I got to cry. OK. All right. Massive secrets for a lot of people here. OK. There is a lot of parents probably not if not if you're white probably that have that that speech they give their kid. My mom told me to believe in myself. Yeah. Well, that's not what I got. OK. I got the you need to be twice the person that everyone that society expects

you to be. You need to be twice as good as the other people in your class. You need to be twice as smart. You have to go twice as hard. You have to overcompensate for all the under compensations that it's going that are going to be going to be on your plate. And like, that's something you get more than once. Right. What's the earliest stage you get that you get the first like like I must have been like six. That's the first time I got.

Yeah, it's the harder, better, faster, stronger. The harder, better, faster, stronger speech comes at you well before like that's before age or reason. Oh, you're like the elementary school early years. You're getting that shit in pre-K. You're getting that shit in kindergarten. You know, you're starting to become a person. You're starting to become a human being. And one of the first things you learn is that you need to overcome

this situation that is the inequality by overachieving and rising above it. And looking well, not so much looking at others in a different way, but it's it's a very weird feeling that fucks kids up. Do they fuck you up as a kid? You tell me. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Because I know I used to I used to have some Asian friends and told me that like they got the variation of that speech,

which isn't you have to overcome the inequality. It's that you have to crush or die. You must be the number one. Well, there's that. Yeah. And that's that's their variation. That's that cultural thing. See, by the time I wasn't hitting the honor roll every every report card, I think it was kind of like, all right, you know, it was it was we know what this is.

So did like life crash down upon on the household when you're like, I'm going to go into digital arts. I mean, no, like at first, I guess it it it it showed up well in the fact that I skipped grade one. Oh, that's good. But then at some point, you know, the things that you learned from all those studies where it's like, hey, telling kids that they're so smart is worse than telling them that it's good.

They worked hard because when you're told that you're smart and you encounter a wall, you don't keep trying. I got hit with that real bad. Yeah, we talked about that a while ago. That's a real big one. I did not learn how to study until I was like in my twenties. Yeah. And then you eventually you hit the same wall. Everyone does, which is you're not the top of that leaderboard.

You used to be when there was a much smaller leaderboard. But now we're on the national level and you ate shit. And now how do you deal with that? And if you've been like naturally given the the your results because you feel that you were just so much smarter by default, then you have no acumen to, you know, fucking rise to the occasion of being beneath anyone else on that leaderboard. But but but I'm going to go ahead and, you know,

say, yeah, telling a kid that doesn't understand the concept of like competition or like economic placement that they need. Yeah, these are these are kind of high end concepts for children that they need to live up to an ideal of being twice the person that the average white man is this is kind of intense. This is not like one or two years past the age when I just told the story yesterday. But where I remember being a small child, not quite six.

The thing was four. And where I learned the lesson about what things are OK and not OK to say in public, where I was out with my mom in a wool coat, if that time gates this for people. And I looked to my mom and in the loudest child voice I could manage totally innocently. I said, mom, what's wrong with that lady's face? Why is she so ugly? Is she OK?

And that's what I remember of that story. Mother tells me that the lady like blanched and like kind of ran away. And my mother was like, oh, my God, shut the shut the fuck up. Never say that again. So every kid has a version of that, you know. So the the moment that you learned about your filter, you learned that other people are real and are like, yeah, not just mom and dad and the siblings, the concept of the filter.

But the age that you're getting this thing at is like closer to that than it is to like having a working brain. Yeah. And it continues the entire time. And like, thankfully, right, here's the thing. I don't know at what age, you know, she got it. And I don't know what age my grandparents got it. But clearly, this has been the way to go about business. Yeah.

Ever since shit's been bad, which guess what? It's been bad for a very long time, hasn't it? I'm not super familiar. Triple digits. What? Mid mid triple digits on the year count, not even low, you know. I don't know. There's probably a good year or two in there. Yeah, well, I hear there was there was. But anyway, so that's that's a tradition at this point.

Yeah, that's gets that's getting passed down, right? And like, I'm infinitely, infinitely lucky to be able to say that, like, by the time I got the last version of that speech, right? The last version of that speech was me in my 20s, right? Fully actualized. Yeah, early 20s, early 20s.

Being told that wearing out my hair in dreadlocks is going to just be like, you know, dem ras from the odd. I'll go to hell, right? And well, no, she's she's trying everything in her power to not do that. Oh, yes, fair. But essentially, and you know, that's that's the Jamaican side of things. You're perpetuating a negative stereotype.

But not even that, not even that. It's not about that side of it, right? It's you would think. But it's actually that you look unemployable. And that is not an employable haircut, essentially jokes on you. Ma, me and my friends invented a new type of job. Side step that shit. So you'll never get anywhere playing those video games.

Yeah. So the first QA place I worked to the literal slogan was your parents were wrong. Oh, nice. It was pretty slow. It's pretty sick, pretty sick slogan, even though the place was garbage. But we actually actually like like this was before any of this even like was a concept. My response at the time was quite simply is like, listen, I get it. My entire life.

This has been the thing. Yeah. So it's been an ongoing process. But here's what you have to understand. I like my hair. I'm doing this because I like it. It's important and I enjoy it. It's a part of who I am. OK, if you're telling me that if I go to apply for a job somewhere

and they look at me and they see that and they say, no, that's not someone we can employ. Fuck that place. I don't want to work there. Problem solved. And then, right, part two of it is like the kind of people that you might associate with or that would want to that would make a judgment call about you, right? OK, so this is if you see that hair and you think, you know what, I don't want to associate with someone that looks like that.

You have already passed the filter. That is, I don't want you around me anyway, right? So if this is repellent because you care about something as stupid as a haircut, then go the fuck away. There's also a little nice meta commentary about like in order to in order for our people to survive, we have to become just like those people. Don't do this thing that you want to do so that you don't fit it. Like it's it's fuck.

Yeah, but what are we going to do? Build Wakanda in the middle of fucking Shammadi? I'm not going to stop you. Who do we suppose as long as long as it's not LaVal because you don't want to be in LaVal. Nobody wants to be in LaVal. Shammadi's in LaVal, bro. Yeah, see, there's a problem right there.

That's literally what I'm saying. Like you want us to build an alternate like uninfluenced by the West culture out of nowhere. Listen to my voice, man. It's too late. This is what we are too late. This is what we've got. Well, why do you talk like that?

Oh, why do I are you are you putting that on? Why what's what's going on? I don't know. You know, you can let the real you out, right? Yeah, you know, it's right. It's just after all, black is performative, right? Oh, it can be. Yeah. So when you don't turn that switch on, you know,

you're not acting black enough. You don't. I know I can see the blackness on your skin, but you're not. You're not giving that, you know, I need more. That energy. I'm just not getting enough. Can you bring me? Can you give me some of that energy, though? This is not really cutting it for me.

You know, yeah. Yeah, I apologize for the inability to do that. So what I was what I was going to say is that around that time, it was really just like it was pretty much the last version of the conversation because it was just like. I don't care about the future. You're trying to secure for me. I feel like you could have ended that with just like, I don't care.

I don't care. I don't. I don't. I really don't. You know, I'm going to go do some shit with art or video games or whatever the fuck. That's interesting. And I'm going to see people with way crazier looks than I have. And like, if you can like make a call on somebody based on that and go like, that's an untrustworthy, then yeah, fuck off, you know, that's stupid.

I think it's dumb. I think anyone I think any schools that are like, you must have only hair colors that are natural of this fucking like just fuck off with that. It doesn't matter, you know, how do you feel? So I remember being told as a youth that a tattoo would make you unemployable, well, listen, and then it became a visible tattoo. Yeah. And then it became a face tattoo.

Yeah. But now I think if I see a person with a suit and a face tattoo, I'm like, wow, you wow, you fuck, you must be super good at your job because you jumped fate. The face tattoo is forever. It's it's so that like what I was kind of getting at is that how lucky that it happened to hit the right moment that just as I was kind of saying, fuck all that noise is that there were like people becoming multimillionaires

that looked like crazy with the fucking tats and the hair. And it didn't matter and that a CEO could like be someone. Is that dog a millionaire? Yeah, it's got a fucking Mohawk, you know, whatever. Right. And like that started to like be a thing. And then you'd see all these like Forbes power 30 under 30. You know what I mean? Profiles and it'd be like, oh, who's that? That doesn't look like a traditional millionaire.

And it's like, yeah, because it stopped mattering because that person thought of some cool thing and then got a lot of money for it. And then then they're fine. It's a damn shame cares about that this fitting in final conversation happened in your early 20s. Don Draper's business, because now that we're in our early 30s, you would have had the ability to shut your mom down with just a single OK

boomer because that's that's the all the energy. Yeah. The future is now, old person. I'm not bringing my resume into a madman office, right? I'm bringing my resume to Sonic Fox. Yes. And they're going to be in the full costume. And he's going to be like, hey, man, hey, can you can you fucking do this infinite? And you're going to be like, no.

All right, well, next candidate. And I'm like, fair enough, fair enough. Mom, do you want to know how to do a fucking infinite? What? What? Light punch. I don't. I don't want to keep the rhythm up. Yeah, it's it's it's it's good. It's good, you know. And the other filter, of course, that makes a difference here,

which is not universal, but still applies, is there's also the secondary motivator of, you know, it it goes against the Bible to like have long hair. And it goes to be non-traditional with, you know. Well, that's just a whole other can of worms. That's the thing. So the tattoos, the markings on the skin, the long hair and woman wearing pants. You ever eat a shrimp? I I accidentally ate a shrimp back in Grenada when I was young

and fuck me if it wasn't delicious. Hey, I want to give a shout out to that guy in the subreddit, who is I just realized a devout Christian who listened to this podcast and has like a laid back attitude and they're like, oh, these guys are done. They don't know nothing. Hey, you're cool. Yeah. I appreciate you still listening to the podcast, even though we take the piss out of you.

You know why? Because the Catholics are we I always specifically go for the Catholics because they're I've been around them forever. Yeah. Oh, you guys are so weird. Yeah, I'm eating that Jesus. That's weird. I read a comment today about some of those exhausted of like whenever Willie gets into the religion stuff. So I don't want to beat the dead horse too much. But, you know, there is the truth that like I got to eat that Jesus.

The first thought process that everyone argues about internally forever when it comes to the hair thing is, but Samson had the dreads, though. What are you going to say? Samson had dreads. Samson had dread. Oh, cool. The strongest, coolest Hulk man. Oh, that makes sense. Because there would be physically strong.

Yeah, OK, yeah. Had locks and Delilah cut them off, you know, and then he lost his power. But straight up, he did. But that's the but that's the thing, though. And it's like, OK, well, what are we going to? Is that an exception or what do you it's like? No, you're not Samson, though. Delilah's such a pretty name for such a traitorous wench.

Well. Jawbone of an ass. A thousand soldiers. Don't know what you're talking about. He killed a thousand soldiers with the jawbone of a donkey. Cool. That's his weapon. That's dope. That dude's pretty tough.

Samson's a badass. And then when he was two, when he was weak, because they cut the hair off and tied him up in a like a coliseum and they're all like, ah, fuck this guy. Yeah. He was like, OK, God, I fucked up. But can you give me one last? That's all God trigger. Yeah.

Well, give me one last heaven trigger. Yeah. And let me just pop off on these motherfuckers for a minute. Just for a minute. Just let me talk to him for a minute. I don't need to get all of them, but I would like to get a good like in there. And then God was like, all right,

I'm going to give you just enough meter for one more. B.T. It's not a devil trigger. I know this whole thing's breaking down. Sure. But anyway, one more rage of the God. Yeah, there you go. Right. And then he clicked all three in our three and then he pulled the the the pillars down.

And then those pillars apparently the architects that built this place death star. Oh, cool. So everyone, all these all these like assholes are in this coliseum. But the entire Coliseum was held up on two pillars that he happened to be attached to. Well, that was stupid as shit. And he was like, yeet, and he pulled the pillars.

And then the entire thing came down as it came down. Someone in the stands like, why did we build this thing like this? That seems like it was a bad architectural decision. We should have protected our our our investment against one bad ass doing a grand cross in the middle. That's correct. In the middle of the arena. Yes.

One cheeky boy doing a grand cross, man, stopped all of us. And that's Samson, really, you know. But yeah, those are dreads. What a fucking what a fucking winding path we took on this one. Ah, it's a fun podcast. I like this podcast. It was a good time. All right. I didn't I had a whole other branch for a conversation over here that I like I was I was holding on to

while we were still talking about comedians. Yeah. And then it was so far gone that I missed it. So hold on to that one for the future. No, it's never going to come up again. All I was going to say is OK, it's one of those because we started with the concept of bombing at jokes. Yeah. And I don't know how we got where we are. You're going to talk about that fucking ventriloquist woman again.

No, I'm going to talk about how that was. I always hated. You know how like the corny, terrible radio show sound effect. I hate it. I hate it. Shocked shock. Shocked shock button is the most it's garbage. Hey, it's the worst, right? Yeah. However, however, I was convinced to start appreciating the concept of drops.

OK, as they're called with the bomb when someone tells a horrible joke. Pause and then there's a car crash noise. And it just the timing on the car crash noise. It's a pregnant pause fall by an exclamation point on you suck ass. Right. And it was a Pavlovian response. And I learned to love that car crash, especially if it was particularly awful and you'd hear like five overlapping car crashes like, dear God, that was awful.

You shouldn't have tried. You shouldn't have tried. That was so that I learned to love. I learned to, you know, appreciate the humor of the drop through that. But anyway. And what did you do with your week, man? Why don't you go first? Why don't I go first? OK. I didn't play all that much video games this week.

I mainly took a look at a new TV show. That is sweeping the nation. Well, have you ever read a woman's romance novel? I have not read Beastars. OK. So I got to ask, what is up? Women who are listening to this podcast. I'm sure there's at least two of you. What is up with what if that monster man just fucked me and I died

or almost died, but what if the monster fucked me? What's up with this? Oh, we go in Harlequin romance, front of the farmer pre. There's a word for this. It's called Ravishman. Twilight. Yes, Twilight. I can't I can't resist. So guess what Beastars totally literally is? It's just Twilight.

But not satisfied that the Westerners were getting all the furry shit. OK. It won't say her name is Itagaki. I had her up here. Itagaki. Paru was like, no, Japan's fucked up and creepy. We can do this. His obsession is not creepy if he's hot. Well, there's been a there's been a tweet that

Paige and I have been laughing about for about two weeks now, which is a morally gray character is a character who commits crimes, but is hot. That's how you know they're morally gray. Right. Beastars is is a high school drama. Is it? Yes. About a young wolf man named Logosi and a young rabbit woman named Haru.

Yeah, I went to pull up some. So I want to pull some shit up. And before I even get to a trailer or an intro, the first thing I get is a pairing video. Yes. So and as they live in a animal kingdom that is totally has nothing to do with Zootopia at all, between the carnivores and the herbivores in which they exist in a bizarre teetering society in which carnivores still want to eat people.

And everyone's like, don't eat us, man. Um, a burgeoning romance between this, this giant, powerful, lithe wolf man who desperately wants to devour this tiny rabbit, but also loves her, maybe. Not, not Zootopia. No. And it's like, oh man, my animal instincts want me to just tear you limb from limb. But but no feelings. So I don't know what's up with that chicks.

Apparently dig that shit really bad. Is this the kind of world where like a wolf and a rabbit can successfully make working at anything and fuck anything, but successfully. Well, yeah. And there's so. Before I continue onwards, despite the fact that I'm starting up with what's up with chicks wanting to get fucked to death by monsters shrug. Beastars is fucking great.

OK. Beastars is fucking great. OK. And I'm going to assume there's a little thrill for the people out there that identify with that particular facet. But after that, it is a exciting, dramatic. A twisty, turny, fucking romantic slash dramatic story that has all sorts of shit in it that I wasn't expecting to see is way more explicitly violent and sexually explicit than I would have expected.

OK. Some wipeouts in Beastar. People are getting wiped out. Huge wipeout. Huge wipeout. OK. I mean, the name of this show is simultaneously the greatest and most infuriating thing. So there's that, I suppose.

Beastars makes way more sense when they tell you what the Beastar is. Sure. But either way, it's a combination of the word beast and star, which if you were in grade seven, you would think is the coolest thing in the world. Yeah. We also. So there's there's a high school drama with gang star with a

focus on a love story, love triangle, all sorts of shit. Um, but underneath it is a really fascinating setting in which it's like, hey, Legosi, what are you eating? Oh, I'm eating my egg sandwiches so I can get my protein because you're not allowed to eat fucking meat at the school because your friends are made of meat. Yeah. Bad to do. Yeah. But there is that one part of town you can go to.

OK. If you like. So it goes into the logistics that an animal world doesn't go into. It goes super deep into the logistics because an animal world with carnivores is not going to is a inherently unstable one. The cow that's working at a butcher shop doesn't make a ton of sense. There is the very first thing that happens. And if you saw the preview for it, the very first thing that happens is a

schoolmate gets fucking eaten at school and nobody can. Nobody knows who did it. And an alpaca gets fucking eaten in the theater room. OK, dead. And that's the backdrop and people are scared of carnivores. And there's a lot of weird drama with the fucking, you know, the rabbits or shitheads and they're picking on the other rabbits because this rabbit is pure white and they're the fucking the Harlequin pieces of shit with the split.

Yeah. So on top of the carnivore or before, like they're going to they're going to die if they don't eat meat. No, they won't die. You can get your protein. In fact, there's an entire sub story dedicated to a chicken who is clearly the author self-insert because the author Ida Gakusan almost always wears a chicken head around because she wants to stay as anonymous as possible

because she is the daughter of the the writer of Grappler Becky and did not want to be known as herself until her work became for real Nick Cage. Who's Nick Cage's dad? Nicholas Nick Cage. Yeah, his real last last name is Coppola. Oh, all right. Well, that explains a lot. Oh, man, OK, something to that effect.

Yeah. But guess what? She nailed it because Beastars is great. So like, yeah, there's that. But then there's also just constant, constant genius animal shit. Just characters are acting with their own character traits, obviously. But every now and then you will see a little mannerism and or attitude that you go, oh, I'm so stupid, of course, because they're whatever.

So the non-spoilerist one that I can. There's two that I can think of that are both not spoilers that are just like they pop is at some point, somebody's pal ends up being a scumbag and is like, oh, hey, yeah, yeah, I'll tell you what we talked about. Yeah, I'll totally do it. And it's a fucking weasel because, of course, it is. Yeah, yeah, because, of course, it's a fucking. It's not just a romance story, though.

No, there's a lot going on. Interesting. The your primary plot is romance. Yeah. And your your your B side is society is weird in this in this setting. And then another one in which something that at first appears to be somebody like romantically coming on to somebody like by pushing them down and being like over them and be like, hey, look at these titties.

You're actually like, oh, no, this isn't romantic. This is a dog showing dominance. Over a different animal, because that's how dogs show dominance. Yeah. OK, so here's the thing, right? So you can sort of create humanoid mannerisms because they're anthropomorpho sized. Yeah. But then you pick and choose the animal traits that can reveal themselves

and therefore create like a first impression and then actually. And then you have characters that are. This is the entire personality is the opposite of the animal. You would associate them with. Yes. And then that gets played off by other characters. OK. Who are like, that's weird.

You don't act like a deer. You're actually kind of a badass, Lewis. What's up with that? Right. Et cetera, et cetera. You've got to overcompensate for what you are. Yes, 100 percent. Exactly.

Yeah. It's really cool. It's really, really, really, really cool. And it was very. It was really, really, really weird to see a romance story between the shy guy and the girl who fucks around constantly. That is not how I thought that was going to go. Well, she's a rabbit, right?

Yeah, but not all rabbits are like that. But this rabbit is. Yeah, but rabbits, though. Yeah. So. I fuck like rabbits. Yeah. Yeah.

It's that show is great. Do they touch on the logistics? Oh, there is. There's a lot. Yeah. They show the logistics. Wow. To a degree.

This is on Netflix. Yeah, not yet. It's being held back until March 13th. OK, so you're in there. Yeah, OK. OK, well, they obviously there's there's a line of dialogue that's like, wow, I never did it with a carnivore before to hope this shit goes off. What's the what's the ruling on

like wolf wolf rabbit shit? Well, no, because National Geographic and Discovery Channel, it's like, yeah, that's just nature, right? But then porn's porn. Yeah. So there's a there's a there's a really, really funny throwaway single line of dialogue that like codifies like a massive part of what's going on in which an adult says maybe you just got a really fucked up fetish, bro.

And hands him a magazine. And then you're like, OK, fine. So for this totally goes on. But it's like, oh my god, that's super gross, bro. If we're watching nature footage, right, like planet Earth. Yeah. Of like a horny wolf. That's right.

That's just running around full heat. Yeah, right. Got the knot ready to trot. And hey, wow, you had that ready to go. I didn't. I invented that 10 seconds ago. Well, it rhymed. Thank you.

Bars. Yes. I'm now a rapper. So if you take that nature footage and put a suit on the wolf. Yes. Do we now get episode one of Beastars? Do we now have to mosaic the lipstick? Maybe.

Do we have to blur it out? Maybe. Is it no longer nature footage? I don't know, man. What's the what's the what are we doing here? OK, if I rotoscope the wolf. I don't know what to tell you. Is that now dirty?

I don't want to tell you. I put a suit on the wolf and I rotoscoped it. But it's still just nature footage. Here's the deal though, right? What are we doing? So here's the deal for you. This this show is first of all Beastars. I don't know how popular the manga is.

It must be really popular. Yeah, I've heard of it as a manga before this anime. This anime got fucking cash to make it. It is fucking gorgeous. It's a 3D model slash rotoscope. Yeah. Slash mixed media. Yeah.

The intro had a claymation. Yeah, it will occasionally go with like it. It reminds me almost of like the bits of Mob Psycho where it'll just it'll just hey, this one's painted. Yeah, this scene's painted for some reason. Yeah, again, before the adaptation, I feel like I've been hearing about this book. It's it's fucking gorgeous.

And as a result, the I spoke actually Paige spoke with Eli because Eli read it all. Mr. Plague of Grypes is up to date with the latest chapter of Beastars, shocking no one. But I think he described it as the artist is not a very good drawer. And so the anime is just beautiful by comparison. Attack on Titan, I think had that said. Yeah, Attack on Titan definitely has that.

But this this is going for the absolute limit you could possibly go for of that's clearly a dear man. It also happens to be a fucking hot dear man. But like, you know, the dangerously cheesy chart of furriness. Yes, it's almost the way to whole animal. That's that's what I was going to point out, which is probably the most interesting aspect of this is in looking at the art from it.

I noticed that that's not a human being with dear antlers. No, that's a dear man. And it's not a girl with buddy ears sticking out. No, it's an actual animal headed thing. Yes, which I got to applaud that commit to it. And like mostly, mostly animal features. Yeah, I think the only time that I got brought out of it at any point. Yeah.

Was there's a sequence in which Lewis, the deer picks up something and you see that he has totally normal looking human hands that are like gold. And I'm like, that's really weird. Meanwhile, when you look at the go see, he has giant. He's always a werewolf. He is. He's a fucking werewolf. I mean, there's that that the shot of the fucking deer that pulls the the hooves off

and has the full underneath it. But I actually like, no, I super duper respect that because it's like, no, we're not going for the like. I just want to make a cute human that you're going to like, but also get away with giving them so hard as a fucking rabbit, dude. Yeah, you fucking went for that basis of rabbit. Totally. And I'm like, yeah, commit, commit.

Don't don't just make it a hot person because you want to maximize that. And it's just constantly, constantly, constantly going back to. Like this, this, it's this fun thing where you ever look at it, you ever watch something or read something and the setting is confusing, like they're a part. They're massive holes in your understanding of the of the setting. Tons of stories. And every time you get a single detail, you're like, oh, cool. So there's a there's a little tiny scene where the go see is reading a book.

It's just chilling, right? But he happens to be in the wolf room hanging out with the other wolves, which is painted like the night sky with a disco ball that's been made into a moon to make them feel more comfortable, I guess. And when he walks that room, he walks by the cat room and the deer room and the end and so on and so forth. Yeah. And you're like, I wonder what what is it?

What the fuck is going on? Yeah, you can infer lots of fun ideas when you have to mix modern contrivances and and and conveniences with the animal kingdom. And so that's why they get you get a little side story about a chicken being very proud of her eggs. Why? Well, carnivores got to get protein. Yeah. And if they don't get protein from egg sandwiches, they're going to get their fucking protein.

Yes. Yeah. And it's this nice little thing of like, oh, what a cute little story that causes their society to not collapse into like race riots and devouring. Uh, that thing's great. I'm probably going to read it because I and I need to know what happens after the end of that first season. So that shit is great.

Zootopia plus Twilight equals success. No, Zootopia plus Twilight plus the dramatic action scenes of GTO. Whoa. Equal success. Specifically that type of scene. It's like, you know, remember when GTO popped off? It suddenly became a completely different show. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, OK. There is there's a couple sequences in which you're like, this is a you expect Wolfman cure you to be in the background during the substory. Pervin on teenagers, but it's a man you can trust. Something like that. Something like that. Yeah.

Oh, it's incredible. It's it's fantastic. I would recommend it to everybody. Japan is about to get swept with furry. It's very inevitable. Now it can't be stopped to our furry friends out there. You will soon have an entire new country's worth of artists to rely upon for your creepy sex shit.

And by furry and thumbs up for the audio people by furry friends, you mean furry overlords. I for one embrace. Listen, if they keep you furry overlords, they keep putting out content like this. That's OK. I can direct you towards the finest yiffing pits to pit, man. I mean, the pit. All right, look.

Old memes are old. But that's cool. You should get on that immediately. Like as soon as it's so good. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. There was a I want to say it was about like about the start of this new year.

Basically, why all the noise about Beastars that suddenly a push started happening on all social media fronts talking about Beastars. And I was like, what is this terrible name? Please, dear God, tell me what this has to is this has to do with the is this has to do with the monsters? Does this have to do with the gangsters? What does it have to do with? And then it turns out, no, it's its own other thing.

It just happens to follow this naming convention with which like kills me inside. And now I'm going to take a moment for those of you who are listening to this podcast. May not be convinced because well, romance is up for girls. Shut up. That's stupid. You know, what's you know, what's the most not endearing a fucking? What's the word I'm thinking of exciting or like investing or whatever charming or a thing that a story can do to you when you you empathize with a character and you can empathize

with their their teenage self or whatever. And you go, oh, I see my little bit of myself in there. And then something in your romantic subplot happens that makes you go. Oh, no, no, no, no. Like over and like, yeah, to be honest, I feel like you're yelling at no one. Yeah, well, I don't know. Maybe I'm old fashioned. Yeah, that that thought was gone.

Yeah, maybe, you know, but like, when are we going to get Beastars for boys? But like we were like, there were I was a part of excited discussions of of a Karashi Kanojo back in in college and or that is whatever it was. It was an Anno directed series after Eva. That was just a straight up like lovey-dovey high school tale. Oh, that's very different. And then there was the the hijinks of school rumble. Yeah, which I also was a part of conversations of.

And, you know, you're just like, OK, romance story. What my favorite episode of GTO is when Oscar and Shinji make it work. In the caves on the island. Oh, you don't remember that? Were their names actually and Shinji? They weren't actually Oscar and Shinji, but they were like identical designs. Because my brain was like, hold on, were their characters with those names? They weren't named that.

But it was the it was the bitchy, domineering redhead and the total puke. Yeah, fine, fine, fine, sure. And they got lost in that water cave and they had to make it through. And I was like, it was a mootai. What was his name? I don't fucking know anyone's name and fucking GTO. OK, well, anyway, I still look back and think about the live action version where where GTO was going to run over that family with a truck in like the second episode.

Yeah. And then he swerved and almost died. Yeah, but then he marries Fuyutsuki. Does he marry or not in the live action? I want to say they couple up. They do couple up. Whereas it doesn't necessarily happen in the anime. No, the anime moves to America.

Yeah, which would have been an awesome show that we never got. Onizuka, 22 years old, nice to meet you. To people asking what GTO is. Great teacher, Onizuka. It is a story about a piece of shit former gang member that somehow becomes a high school teacher. Yeah. And despite his lack of educational knowledge, we'll use his gumption and pureness of heart to help those kids get through their lives.

God damn it. You ever read Shonen Junai Gumi? I have not. OK, it's about the biker years. Oh, yeah. Or him and his biker buddy. I was bikering it up. They're just bikering it up.

Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coonio shit. Yeah, yeah. OK, well, you know. Yes, everybody go watch and then read Beastars. It's good. It will make you feel things.

Or doing like fucking 20 year old plugs for GTO. Also watch GTO. Check out that. At the very least, at the very least, watch that intro with porno graffiti drivers high and appreciate that animation. GTO is crazy because it's an Anna. It was a manga that was great. That got turned into an anime that was great.

That got turned into a live action show that was great. That got turned into a Korean live action show again. Get out. Yep. Seriously. Korean GTO happened. It was a good. Apparently it was really good.

The formula works. Yep. Just just try to ignore the part where he's the show starts and he's under the stairs looking up at the skirts of high school girls going to class. Just try not to think too hard about that. And try not to think too hard about the part where he goes to that like in the pilot episode he helps the girl and then he gets the panties. Yeah.

Try not to think too hard about it. It was always fun going through the different versions where each version as it becomes more real or animated goes softer than the last one. Yes. So like I watched the live action first. Oh yeah. And then there was the bitchy genius girl that only shows up in the movie. Yeah.

And like, oh, she's all right. And then I watched the the anime and she's first of all, she dies her hair blonde. But the first thing she does is light another student's hair on fire. Right. By throwing a lighter at her. Yeah. And it's like, wow, you got toned the fuck down. Yeah.

And just that the, you know, because it's toned down though, you get like the tone down intro. You get poison. Yeah. Replacing fucking drivers high. Mm hmm. You get no suplexes. No suplex. But a really cool kick though.

Yeah. I do like the kick. But and then you eventually get a suplex. Eventually. Way down the line. Not even in the show in the fucking movie. Yeah. The live action movie that comes afterwards, you finally get one.

I really liked the big stuff, the motorcycle stunt they did for the live action movie. I thought it was cool. You know, so when you calm the story down, you have to make concessions. It is what it is. It is what it is. And yeah, it's an iconic ass fucking suplex. He does the bridge. And then if I'm not mistaken, the the old lady principal or vice principal,

whatever, the one who makes the shots comes down and actually like takes a seat. It's like, ah, yeah, sturdy. I gotta I gotta fucking this. Anyway, talking about Beastars and then talking about GTO and the combination of suplexing and animals makes me think I should I watch Nietzsche Joe? I don't know. Principal suplex is a deer. Oh yeah.

Or you can play. I could play Beastarizer. I could play Beastarizer. Well, that's a unanimous yes by our chat. Maybe I should take a look at Nietzsche Joe. Okay. All right. Well, that's it for me.

If you want to check out bullshit that I'm up to, just go down to twitch.tv slash Pat stairs at that's on weekdays at like about 8 p.m. Occasionally on the weekend in the afternoon. I'm going to be doing some 14 stuff and starting already six this week. Holy shit. Oh, one last thing. A five sentence review of Resident Evil Revelations. The jail sequences are cool.

Everything else is complete garbage. And the story is unmitigated disastrous trash even by Resident Evil standards, which is goofy considering it's a fucking game called revelations. And the revelations are also bafflingly fucking stupid that I just couldn't do anything but hold my head in my hands. Heard you tried to dodge six. Yeah, well. Well, democracy doesn't work, so guess I'm fucked.

You sat on your path. Now you're committed to it. I don't think I get this far by now. Is that not a sentence that describes all of it? Yeah, it is the whole journey. Yeah. There you go. Yeah.

Uh, okay. Well, over on my side, I had a pretty fun week. Took a look at a couple different things. First off and foremost, have you ever heard of the Kingdom of Dokapon? Have you ever heard this name? Have you ever experienced or witnessed anything that has come from the Kingdom of Dokapon? No, I am not. Dokapon Kingdom is a PS2 game.

Yes. It got ported to the Wii. Did it? It is a Mario Party style board game. Oh, fuck. But the difference, and this is key, is that there is no mini games to fight. All right. Amongst each other with, instead, you are RPG characters and you can fight monsters or each

other using RPG rock, paper, scissors style commands. All right. When the game starts, you build, you choose a character, you choose a class, you choose your, and then you start out and then you kind of roll the dice. It's not an actual dice. It's a little spinner. Okay. You walk along this board and then you can go to blank spaces to fight random grunts.

You can go to towns and save them from monsters. You can go to shops and buy weapons. This sounds actually pretty cool. It's pretty cool, right? This game will put the Satsui Nohado in you. Oh, yes. The murderous intent. Because they're not cool laid back little mini games.

You have to understand the level of shit fuckery that this game facilitates, right? And there's a story mode which goes on for apparently like a hundred hours or something crazy that you're supposed to play with your friends, mind you. Unbelievable, right? But and I hear, tell that there's shit in that that I didn't even see. For example, if someone is losing long enough and hard enough in last place, apparently they can go and become the king of demons. Oh my God.

Whose entire job it is is to just fuck over the rest of the players. That's just great. That's great. So this is a game where when you beat somebody, if you've land on their space and you fight it out, again, RPG battle, do the RPS. Upon defeating someone, you can choose to rob them of all their money. Good, yes. Rob them of their items or equipment.

Oh, very good. Including like shit that you can just equip immediately. Yeah. Or you can humiliate them. Yes, yes, yes. By playing a prank such as changing their name or haircut. And all of it leads back to a respawn at the origin point, but you might have to come back with a bald head.

You might have to come back with no weapon or you might have to come back with your name suddenly being, oh, I don't know, bitch pie. Bitch pie. There's a great over here. There's a great this guy right here. There's a great Coray gaming video about the effect of taunting on your opponent. It's about fighting games, but it describes how teabagging somebody in the corner can make them do stupid shit and teach them the wrong lessons and how giving up positional

advantage or numerical advantage can be totally worth it for a mental guard break, which is what you are describing. Because if you have to play an entire rest remaining game as bitch pie, you might make stupid fucking decisions because you're a bitch pie. Yep, yep. So I thought that shit was hilarious. I loved it. And there's other little bits and pieces where sometimes when you land on a random space,

there's a chance that you might run into an NPC who will ask you for different things. They might ask you, hey, I'm an old beggar. Can you give me some gold and who knows what will happen? Anything could happen. Or you might be a lady that's like, hey, there, I've got a special little delivery that I need you to make for me. Can you take this item? And it's very valuable, but I want you to safeguard it and take it to this town on the

board and they'll give you some sort of reward or something, you know? Now, I don't know what the truth is about this type of thing, but this happens at some point. And it's an item that we notice that like while you can go deliver, it definitely is worth a lot of gold, right? But there's probably a karma system in place by doing it, right? There's probably a karma system in place for fucking it over or for going through with it, if you can, especially if you have to get out of your way to deliver those things. It's like on Greed Island where they did that shitty side quest and got that fancy card.

Totally like Greed Island, right? So when, so when, uh, so that's a fake video game. Sure. Uh-huh. It's from Hunter Hunter, though. Oh, I thought that was an, I thought that was a one piece thing. No, I thought Greed Island was Hunter Hunter. I thought I thought it was a one piece.

Greed Island is fucking crazy because it's when Hunter Hunter, when the author decides I want to do a Yu-Gi-Oh thing for a couple hundred chapters and just changes the setting into Yu-Gi-Oh. Yeah, I mean, kind of like how Yu-Gi-Oh changed the setting into Yu-Gi-Oh. Yeah, kind of like that. Used to be the Puzzle Master. Yeah. He used to just be the fucking- I'll bet you can't shoot me until I burn you.

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, right? And then if you, if you rage you're wrong, I guess you die. What? Not cards, though. Ah, cards. Cards, that's safer. Um, when you are a thief, for example, you know, like magicians are good at magic,

warriors are good at warriors, but a thief can run past your square and take your shit. Yes. Literally just happens automatically. So let's say, for example, that, um, I don't know. Let's say, for example, uh, you're sitting at the, let's say Min is sitting at the weapon shop. Uh-huh. And he's buying his weapons on his turn and he's just gotten this, uh, this duck, this whatever that's worth a ton of money.

I can already feel this. And then let's say Reggie is like, Hey, I need to go buy some weapons too. So then on his turn, he walks over to the weapon shop. But the moment he lands on Min square, his thief takes that fucking quest item automatically because that's how a thief does. And then he goes, okay. And then goes and then opens up the weapon shop and then in the weapon shop, it's like, yo, bro, you want to sell that fucking sick ass.

Hell yeah. I thought for 4000 gold. Give me that shit. Yeah, this is the knives come out. You understand? Yeah. It is brutal. That's it's brutal.

And like it has all of this like built in. It's built in the friendship, ruining mechanics. The only thing more fun than having fun is making somebody else not have fun. Absolutely. So king of devils, right? Now, I again, have not had the fortune of encountering that because I think that's again, a full crazy hundred hour commitment thing. But we took a look at this, got a got a game mode played in it where you just kind of set

the number of turns and you go through it and had a fucking blast went for a second round where there's a different challenge. So you can just do like, let's say Mario Party, you pick a couple of you pick how many weeks you want to, you know, you can do that or you can do a challenge such as uh, liberate the specific town or kill each other X amount of times, which sounded fun on paper. Unfortunately, in execution fails because if everyone walks to the opposite ends of the map, ain't nothing happened.

The game is not ending. Yeah. So unfortunately, the Australian risk problem. Yes, happened. And that was that was a momentum killer. But on basic premise of like, try to be the richest and strongest by the end of the deadline. Uh, fuck. Yeah, this game rules.

Del Capon Kingdom is the shit. Just prepare the newest version of it just on the Wii. Yeah, that's a bummer. Yeah, unfortunately. I think I saw that there was ports to ports to handheld most possibly. There might have been like a DS port or something. Yeah, if you want everybody sitting around. Yeah.

You know, so anyway, and then of course, as you can imagine when the game is over, they go through all the celebrations and, you know, the, you know, the proper here's your star award so and so fucked over everyone this many times. You and well, in this case, you there's there might be some things less such as the equal to poop award for being dead garbage shit last place. You should. You should feel ashamed. Good.

Not my words. Why you people? Why you poopy? Yeah. So why? Good times. Dock about Kingdom played it played it on Salt Party, obviously. That sounds perfect for that fucking title.

And that should be that should be coming up sometime soon. You ever think that because there are a couple of games like this that the developers at some point must have been like, I want people to get divorced. Yes. I want siblings to I want a sibling to lose an eye. I want friends to never talk to each other again. Fuck you, grandma. Yeah.

I heard that this was part of the marketing campaign. Yeah. I was I was hearing that they actually pitched it as like a thing where it's like friendships might be ruined officially. That's incredible because overcooked. I played that with some friends. Yeah. And how do I put this?

There's the moment where you're getting frustrated with your co-op partners. That's what I was going to ask. What's worse? And then there's the because overcooked is like speed, speed, accuracy. And then there's the moment where somebody makes a mistake and because you're an adult and have control, the bile hits like the bottom of your throat. And you're like, I have one more in me before it's toxic time. So what you you go now it's time to stop.

What gets you worse at extraordinarily lucky comeback or an incompetent co-op partner? Incompetent. No question. Okay. But it has to be a specific kind of incompetence. And it is what I would call willful incompetence. Um, best exemplified by the phrase, you don't pay my sub. Right.

So, uh, somebody's doing something wrong and it looks like they just don't know. And you go, oh, hey, if you do this, like this is a cool trick to. So they go, fuck you, old man, I'm going to do what I want. So just to get this straight, you're saying that you don't enjoy playing video games with an incompetent partner? Is that, is that what I'm? No, with a willfully incompetent partner. Okay.

Okay. The, the co-op problem that I have the most problem. Marie five was a good time, right? Yeah, it was. It was fantastic. Okay. Page did incredibly well. Okay.

I caught it. There was, there was one, there was one bit that got bad because there are a shit. So it's the final room before the Wesker fight, which was like, there's a shit. Zillion enemies, but the, the number one thing that drives me crazy in any co-op setting is inventory management. If it is there, because I'm so inventory management is like an afterthought to me because I've done it so many times, so many games, but nobody else does inventory management fast enough.

And I'm always like, come on, put that there, you know, but like there, there is, there is like annoyance over somebody like dropping a shot in like RE five is one thing because you're like, oh crap, but you could have made that mistake. But people being like willfully obstinate. Hey man, you don't pay her sub. I don't, but people being willfully obstinate in like a team game. Like dude, we already have two widows. Yes.

As are fucking not your brief excursion into top is fed mid or feed. Yes. Yeah. That was somehow different. I don't get it. I, I got fucking toxic and overwatch, but I didn't use a mic. So I got toxic for me. Yeah.

Have you ever got, you ever play something just so you can get toxic? No, for you. No, I have. It's great where you play and you're like, you're getting toxic, but no one's around and you're not typing. You're just, you're just toxic for you. But I got super toxic playing overwatch. I got super toxic playing day to feet.

I got super toxic playing fighting games, but I played league like super meat boy fucks you over in situations where you're like, God fucking damn it. But I don't know the right into the venom. But then you play league. Yeah. And no matter how toxic you get, the other guy is somehow more toxic. And that just nullifies yours and just gives you joy. Yes.

Yes. Because they get all pissy and toxic and they actually type it out. And you can just respond with no lol or your mom. Ha ha. Well, you're just like, well, this is why, this is why scrump quotes is so great because the existence of a place to compile this allows there to be like not only an archive of this for all time, but just the idea permeates. And you're able to simply reply with something such as lol at scrub quotes.

Scrub quotes is and that person can either go find out what that means very quickly with a Google search. Yeah. Or not. Or not. But if they do, they'll find out. Uh oh. Right.

It's kind of like how if, you know, like, um, fine, fuck you, you ugly bitch. No one wanted to go out with you anyway. Yeah. And then it's just like reply slash nice guys. And then it's like, what? Yes, reply guys. What is that?

Right. And then they click and then they go and they go, oh, oh no. Here's everybody. Here's, here's me. Am I, am I this? And then here's a lot of people pointing and laughing at this behavior. There's, there's a, not that you're going to learn from it, but you're going to feel something.

There's a specific brand of scrub quote, which I want to say occupies about 30 to 40% of all of scrub quotes is, uh, screen grabs. And it is, fuck you bitch. You trash. Learn how to play the game. Spay, uh, line break dash guy who lost. Yes. Yes.

And that I have seen that for fighters. I have seen that for, uh, MOBAs. I've seen that for overwatch. I've seen that for a rainbow six and just, it's a universal. Just like you learn how to play the game. There is an idyllic way to play that exists in my head and you're not following those rules correctly. So fuck you.

You know, we've come a long way from, uh, throws our band at this establishment. Which was like an enshrined scrub law back in street fighter two. Yeah. That was that that existed in the ether. Yeah. In the same way that, you know, duals back in the day. I, it came across my desk at some point that originally duals are not originally, but at some point a duel with somebody became the point at which two people don't have to back down

from their point so they can agree to fight to the death quote unquote over it. And then in the dual, they will then shoot over each other's heads to prove the point that I was willing to die for this point. And then if not, if none of us died, then at least we fought for the point and no one lost honor and then we could shake hands and part ways. This is what I heard, right? Uh, uh, uh, and apparently, like it doesn't always go that way, such as, for example, Alexander Hamilton, who I think was rumored to have like slept with someone's wife or something

like that or something happened. And then there was a thing where they're like, okay, we're going to duel. But then the guy was like, nah, fuck that. And actually took the shot. But there was an, but instead of like doing the thing where you pointed over and shot over someone's head, like I'm going to kill you. And then it was like, bro, scrub quotes. You didn't fucking play.

You didn't play it properly is what happens as you die over the course of play to win, man. Yeah. Play to win. Well, you know, over the course of the next 24 to 48 hours as you bleed out because back then, you know, it wasn't great medical attention was not. It was not great enough. So yeah, I guess Hamilton was Hamilton's last words, just at scrub quotes.

Lol, you know, it's possible. Or no, no, no. The guy who did it actually. Yeah. The guy who did it. So Hamilton was like, what the fuck? I shot over your head. Asshole.

Where's your dignity? Yeah. And then he goes at scrub quotes. Lol. Yeah. Play to win. And then that was, yeah, there you go. It's people, people mad because they don't know how to play the video game.

Have you seen, I don't know if it's probably. Pick a top tier, says Aaron Burr. It's probably not in the news because it's a minor foible. But it fits right in with this conversation. Have you seen that there's been a change to the way that Fortnite match makes? No. Fortnite has gone from a purely connection based matchmaking system to skill based matchmaking.

And along with that change has come a torrent of thousands of very, very angry people saying you have ruined Fortnite. I just spent two hours trying to get video footage of cool trick shots. But I'm having to play these fucking sweaty games like it's MLG. What the fuck? You're ruining Fortnite. Fortnite is ruined. Now every game you're getting paired up with people with the same skill.

You've got to try. It's got to be a try hard match every time. And it used to be. It used to be completely random. Okay. So if you were decent, you had a good chance of like sweeping. Okay. But now you're being, you're being put with people who are around your skill level.

And this is ruining the game. For ranked. I don't think there is. Is there a right? No. Well, then is that skill, is there, there's an elo being tracked? Certainly. Yeah, there's an elo being tracked.

So the game's ruined because now I have to play sweaty. I didn't have to use to play sweaty because isn't the whole point. I'm confused because isn't the whole point of tracking an elo that there's then a ranked system. Yes. And then if you didn't want to adhere to that, you could just go. I believe they have just changed it over universally. I don't think there is a ranked.

I think there's the mode. Okay. So now it's gone from, you know, hey, I'm good enough to just just chill and probably get a bunch of kills because I'm being paired with five year olds to I can't believe this sweaty try hard garbage. It isn't fun anymore. But that feels like the easy fix for that is the thing that already exists, which is ranked or casual.

Yeah. Or ranked or player match. Destiny does a skill based matchmaking as well. But theirs is fucked. It ranks the entire team instead of just singular players. So it'll be like five losers and one pro. Yeah. But one pro can totally beat a whole team of six.

Yeah. But yeah. I think I mean, personally, I, you know, I speak full of ignorance as usual. But I mean, why not offer for fun and for glory? Because Fortnite's about that one mode. Yeah, we'll make it make add a single binary choice. But also as somebody who has dipped their toe in this, if they did add for fun and for glory, people would still fucking bitch and moan about the for glory of being skill based

matchmaking because no one wants to play the for fun version because that one's for babies. But it would also be no one for fun would be where you learn how to do shit. No, no one wants to learn how to do shit. They just want to win. Until you give the option. I'm telling you, you put you put if you were put that in fortnight and like if you were say a streamer and you clicked on for fun, it'll be like always baby mode. Who cares?

Yeah, maybe, maybe. I don't know. I just it's the first thought that comes to mind is there's games where you have the choice to choose the stakes, so to speak. And I don't I don't see why biggest game in the fucking world couldn't allow that to happen. You know, it seems like it would be a good thing if it existed. Perhaps. Regardless of that, perhaps you're right.

Yeah. And maybe if they had that. Is this going to be another this is going to be another week where I make fun of somebody and it's going to go over your head because you don't follow this dumb ass. But that this would be a great thing to add so that when you're done losing, you don't have to get mad twice or else you lose a second time. Did you see this shit? Now.

Why you have to be mad is only game. Why you have to be mad is only game. Oh my God. Hey, well, you play a lot of competitive games. Right. It is it is insulting. It is disgraceful. You just wouldn't understand.

You're not understand. You're not out here in these trenches. Oh, yeah. At these tournaments. Oh, yeah. Fighting for your competitive life. For my life. You would not understand as a plebian.

As a pleb as a non as a non man. That when you say it's just a game. It's just a game, man. You're dousing the fire inside. Okay. I'm trying to get top eight at Evo. Yeah. And you telling me it's just a game.

Hey, man, it is just a game though. It is just emblematic of a weak ass mentality. I would tell Michael Jordan and Tom Brady. How dare you after they lose the game. Because it is just a game. How dare you. I dare. Okay.

You think you think all the greats of their time made it to the top. Just hearing. Don't worry about those results. It's just a game. Yes. Yes, I do. Yes. Whoa.

What? Huh? Car crash noise. Yeah. Car crash noise. So obviously we are making fun of one one large streamer fortnight man ninja who appears to be becoming more out of touch by the day. I mean, so I don't think he was in a tournament.

The clip that's going around appears to be from his stream where he's just super mad fucking pissed about losing a game and it's like it's not it's not even a big game. It's not even the big game. And then I saw the tweet and then afterwards I saw that there was an associated video video with it which the tweet on its own you read so that you hear it in a measured tone. Yeah. And you go and then you see the video and he's like sweating. And he's like his eyes are like darting around the the the tweet on its own is

the video makes it a little worse. It makes it a little worse because you were expecting to hear again your own tone of voice. Hey listen if you know you got to you got to really value those wins you know you got to get out there and all I hear is like if you don't throw a tantrum after you lose anything in your life you've lost twice you're a loser. Let's extrapolate that further if you don't end on a win you'll be a loser forever. Let's extrapolate that further winning is all that matters regardless of seriousness or context.

And you know how you win by working twice as hard and being twice as good and challenging yourself twice as much. Now listen listen folks this is a mentality that leads to cheating. Folks if you lost that game the big game and you did not take your opponent's controller out of their hand and spike that controller. Did you even care. Did you even care about the math. Did you even deserve to be in that seat to begin with.

One could argue that no you know you didn't. Hey you've seen you've seen I'm sure everyone here has seen a e-sports match or a or a fighting game match or you know whatever in which after a hard fought long battle there's a victor and a loser and they get up and they shake hands and the loser holds up their opponent's hand and pointing does the little point to them you know the little midsection point goes hey this guy the winner. What a bitch sportsmanship. What a fucking dumb bitch I can't believe this fucking beta congratulating the victor.

Oh my god what a big baby poo poo. You know like holy Jesus Christ so you know. Just a picture of someone doing the point. Bitch stomped a stamped on their fucking face. I mean really really really really really and truly right when someone is putting their heart and soul into trying to win a moment of competition the tilt can happen. You get emotional the tilt can happen. I've gotten fucking super pissed over games it didn't matter for shit.

It's super human to let the tilt happen. Absolutely but to act like it's the moral option. It's not righteous like it is not a move that signifies your righteousness in the situation because of how bad you wanted it. I'm gonna it's a natural part of competing you should probably not like you should probably do your best to not like give it a bad look by physically acting out on that feeling when it happens. Yeah as I mentioned before we've seen many players throw fucking child tantrums at all

sorts of events. Never great never a good look always a bad look right. The inverted pop off so to speak but the fact that you feel that way is normal and it happens. You're not in a holy high horse on a tower as a paladin for doing so by signifying that you care more about a version of reality right. It's like the person who gets to be on their high horse is the person who takes their loss with dignity and grace and congratulates their opponent on a well done match right. Now to understand piss poor takes you have to put your brain into the piss poor take machine

and flip it around. All right so allow me to do that for a moment. Let's do that. Okay I care passionately about this game. Very much trying to be the best at it and even with that measured approach I really just hate when people tell me that hey what you're doing doesn't matter. It's not the thing that you're devoting yourself to isn't important. Because that's like that but I'm this is what I chose to do.

It's important to me. So if you're telling me hey man the thing you're doing doesn't matter then fuck you. Why would you care about the results like that's an insult and I take offense at that. Absolutely. And that is a defensible point right up until you publicly tell other people that the thing that they care about doesn't matter such as I don't I don't get why football players just don't kick the ball between the goalposts every time. Why do they even hire these kickers?

Their only job is to kick the ball. No you're reaching into the other filing cabinet for that one. That's oh well but why don't they just do it right every time. Well now we're well now we're oh wait are these completely incompatible sentiments belying total hypocrisy. Well now we're describing the same point from the same human being and that makes this stance not work. Oh it makes no sense now actually.

So for full context I do not know the full context I did not watch Ninja's whole stream I've only seen the clip of him throwing a tantrum. Why don't bowlers just get a perfect scheme every time. A real thing that you said but it's fine that you said it you sounded silly but you weren't like why don't bowl it you know the tone was wildly different. You were just like oh I you thought they were skilled enough that they could just do it right. Turns out there's oil in the lanes. But you know so I didn't watch the whole thing so I might be mistaken but if I had to guess

it really looks who are you I am. It really looks like Ninja was playing on stream and he did badly in a game and started to get kind of salty and some guy just said it's just a game bro and he just popped off of just that and was like no it's and basically no it's not and then instead of realizing that he's having like a emotional reaction which everyone has all the time no one's perfect and I and you have had them live on camera and then got okay wait I'm being a baby right. He decided no I am right not just right factually but morally you know. Yeah there's a moment after you come back down yeah you have to choose which way to take it

and then you can go the more humbling route or you can go the double down yeah and then hey if you double down well now you're in it and now I'm not only gonna double down I'm gonna triple down because everybody who doesn't agree with me is just a loser they're not trying hard enough they don't want it bad enough. Yeah well you know one guy was a hero in this thing you know maybe you know what like I don't know I hear that there's things that you can do to like you know not necessarily get all that bubbled up rage exploding in the moment of loss I hear there's tips there are some there's some tips yeah yeah um take a break take a five minute break uh maybe uh maybe your blood sugar is

low you can go into the kitchen make yourself say ow no wait that's not gonna work um you could always before you go live just say the n word like 50 times into a mirror just to get it all out there just makes okay listen you gotta go to that mirror you gotta get go to that mirror and you gotta look that mirror you gotta look in your face you gotta look at you gotta look at the way your lips move we need to you need them you need you need to get make sure that they're all full throated yeah you gotta get them full throated dead in the eye not just not just hard r but a hard r roll yeah you gotta see it you gotta growl it feel it yeah right and then it's out all right is it fully out it's out all right is it fully out do you still have some some uh some frustration

you've expended the full meter all right so you might still have some frustration maybe it's not racial okay so um why not um clean off your couch of the floor the the foreclosure and bankruptcy notices turn uh your sound on but not your video and start jerking off do you think calm the nerves just calm the nerves calm the nerves get your last time there was no sound but some video yes but maybe maybe you tried the other way maybe this time you uh no video just sound do what you gotta do to feel your way through you know just get in the right headspace and you know what yeah while you're while you're doing it yeah throw in a couple of n bombs why not just combine the two why not just do both at the same time you have the perfect stream after that you know if you're if

you're midstream and you know none of this worked and you're in you're feeling antsy you know just just tell everyone that you're gonna take a break and then you can go to your your your ceremonial bottle and take a piss into your bottle because that's natural that's how it works it's unnatural to piss in toilets all right uh on the way back to your chair relieve maybe yell at your girlfriend a little bit like a piece of shit yep yeah and and and you know make sure that she sees your collection of bottles lined up as a form of of certain dominance yeah these bottles they dominate assert dominance with the bottles stacked up this is all very important this one calm the nerves you know what if none of that works if none of that works you can always you know if you

really want that little thrill to get rid of that anxiety that you're feeling that that frustration you can magically rise from your wheelchair after forgetting to go to your splash screen and regain the use of your legs spontaneously a miracle by all standards and then you know i mean you'll have to deal with the explanation when you sit back down but you know it was worth it for that moment getting to read the chat in the bathroom full-throated hard R deep nut yeah wheelchair miracle into the piss bottle piss bottle dominance there we go that's the combo right there the perfect stream the perfect what could be better than this not a single dropped frame not a single dropped drop done and done

we got all the fluids covered got it yeah we got it contained it's the ultra cop hypercombo finish ko it's beautiful stream celebrity has created a fucking new world of embarrassment and therefore a higher deeper laugh yeah when you bring it all together when you stop and consider for a moment the absurdity that is this that is this all and all and all it and all its glory the longer someone is live unedited and uninterrupted the the the more likely it is that the mask falls away i actually don't like the mask view of people i don't like the idea that most of these people are actually secretly evil in there there's just would just just look for it just you'll see you'll see the crack i discovered the

existence of of a term called a sleep stream a sleep stream i discovered that yesterday tell me about a sleep stream it's a stream that's on while someone sleeps that's super against the rules and like explicitly well twitch is like do not fall asleep on stream you can get banned for that well it exists and i saw someone posting their sleep stream and i was like huh and it's like not like oh i'm playing the game in that oops i dozed off like no nappy nap pillow and sheet yeah as the cabra's rolling and a bunch of fucking like text and whatever is all over it and overlays are there and shits wild shits wild bra i hope your mic can pick up your sleep farts nice that's what people are tuning in for right they're tuning in for something you gotta clip it and

getting those brap threads brap okay listen dude coming to the study uh soon soon soon the brap it's getting way too inside at this point is it it's becoming nonsense oh well like listen all i wanted to talk about it's a weird job a very weird life we live but you know you're talking about online we're talking about ranked versus player matches right and and how the difference between those two yeah is uh something you can you know you can clarify and clear up some of these feelings yeah for fun and for glory hey you want you want to hear you want to hear a funny story about uh mistakes that happen on stream i thought it would be really funny or you could just swerve off yeah i know i know i just i didn't have a way to get back to the get it out i thought it'd be

really funny last week making fun of ninja to make a joke at his expense and saying that when we were done with the topic that we were going to ban the n word from my chat oh so please no one no more ninjas um which i thought was pretty funny at the time sure until i realized that if you asterix out all the middle letters yes it's completely invisible as to what people are saying yes and was like well i fucked up on this one also you know that like people humorously replace words and they use ninja as in ninja please and what up my ninja and i thought that was a Naruto fan thing no i did not know that that was widespread no it is an actual replacement for nigger like actually sick awesome that's that's good to know now established established

mm okay yeah caught you up to speed just make sure you're aware can we get can we get a fucking handbook for this i'll be your handbook you were too slow on this one all right well here you want another one yeah mondays mondays yes oh everybody hates monday there yeah so if you ever hear that's fucking hilarious if you ever catch context on that one make sure you know that shit cracks me up man make sure you know make sure you know that is dedication to to secret racism everybody i fucking love it you need to be aware you know there's a there's a history of this there's a whole lot of them you know yeah language is fun isn't it yeah what do you call a philanthropist billionaire that just won a Nobel prize but happens to be black

you have you handle this one i got i'm already said it i i defer to it's the it's the unexpected straight punch okay it's all right it's just the end word okay well i wouldn't do that you know it yeah so you know um there you go you need to understand what you're stepping into when uh wait a second you can't be the fucking handbook guide you're the guy who we talked about just a couple months ago that if i came in here it was like hey man i'm thinking about doing blackface you'd be like great idea that's so good let me help you i got charcoal yeah i see see he's no help he's no help i mean look don't worry about it all right everybody says it dude dude i got this all right listen no that one's out of date no nobody cares here's how we do it okay nowadays

there's something called a cleansing mask i've yeah okay you use it to get rid of bumps and pores and bad blackheads and things in the skin yeah you just put on a cleansing mask a cleansing mask right and then you peel it off and then your face is better and it's washed and it's clean yeah but first you have to put on the mask yeah so why would anyone have a problem if you were just cleaning your face by putting on a nice cleansing mask that happened to be i mean who cares what color it is it's just cleaning your face bro say i know people who use those cleansing yeah and every time they wear them i'm like yeah but they're green no well there's really really dark ones there's really really dark ones and then all you do is you peel it off so what you're

saying is i should do the next podcast and really clean up my pores and do the whole podcast in a cleansing mask cleansing mask really cleanse the spirit so darts dark ends up clean you know once you get rid of the dark yep and i'll i got hey i got the lights we got the cameras ready to go hey camera hello whenever you need it i'm here for you we can and then broadcast and then when i come in with my cleansing mask you're gonna be like hey pat your lips look a little chapped i think you should probably do something about those chap lips now i know you're considering i'm not really a big fan of chapstick i know you're considering chapstick but let me tell you that chapstick is not gonna cut it it's not gonna cut it you're not getting the wonderful

raspberry flavors that you think my lips can really pop if i could get some raspberry flavors by getting some proper like flavored chap you know and it comes in it just it adds life it adds life you don't want dry pale lips you want rougey live like the pop vivacious yeah vivacious lips wait a second are you trying to trick me no are you gonna set up a pre-stream mirror before this so i can get it all out i'm trying to i'm trying to tell you i'm trying to tell you that like this is where youtube is going oh yeah makeup tutorials oh yeah you know you're right makeup tutorials big money you need to evolve with the times the ante de bellum times okay you need to evolve you need to keep the brand going this man is not to be trusted this man is not to be trusted if he gives you

advice of almost any appearance or language nice nature you do not trust this man you're you're this dude is you're ridiculous with it i'm just giving you your tips okay so what look what happens right you usually you see people wearing the mask and then what they cut the cucumbers yeah they got you got the cucumbers on the eyes who's gonna misconstrue the situation right but here's the problem though cucumbers are kind of dated they are a little dated right they may not be the best they're not the best apparently i heard i don't know how true it is but apparently watermelons do a really good job replacing what the cucumbers used to do so that you get the cleansing mask you get the raspberry lipstick then you get yourself not cucumbers one of the better fruits yeah one of the

better fruits yeah i don't maybe a watermelon but it doesn't have to be i don't have to be we'll figure that bridge out yeah right i'll do a run but the watermelons are too big how are you gonna get the slice over your eye you know we'll figure it out well like i'll i'll do a run i'll cut it up i'll see how it goes we'll try to make it work you know we might just have to position it whatever you might just have to hold it we'll see it's not important right but then you put it all together and that's the new youtube right there right there that's good that's good all right is this your way of working twice as hard i will i will publish that video myself proudly and loudly i will let everyone know

you know i mean what like at that point you should just cross media get it on twitter just right out there yeah just yeah load up call papers look i got this new face routine cleans up the pores gets out all the evil perfect perfect for for february there's only a week left in the month because it's the weather yeah right now are you are you breaking down it's the weather yeah right now that's perfect outside february is the perfect month yeah to get yourself a nice cleanse that's right you know you understand i think you get it where was i i don't know i don't know where we even started now i was somewhere and i'm gonna find it give it a second like that rolled off the rails into a

new town we were uh talking about uh what we're saying is that live content is fun live content the blow-up holding the l yeah fortnight the rank match ranked versus player i played uh under night in berth ex late clear clear uniclear what's up with the title screen uncleer oh it's not even about that this is a problem that's existed since um fucking street fighter for right uh minor thing but just like yeah if you want to catch yourself uh if you want to notice new o cds that you never knew you had buy a fighting game and then buy the update to it and notice that uh on the depending on the console in a lot of cases the update will apply you'll get all the new content but none of it will be displayed until you press start on the old title screen

oh that sucks with the old intro and you click on the old thumbnail on your on your cross media bar yeah not a fan of that because it doesn't completely update happens with street fighter happened with guilty gear binding of isaac does that yeah you buy binding of isaac rebirth and you buy after birth and after birth plus and all these expansions which are new games but on steam it's it isaac rebirth it sucks yeah that sucks ass uh gets like and and and in minor thing every time but something about this one where like if you just buy the full thing of uniclear then you'll get the new intro there's a new intro and a new title screen and like you'd get all of that i mean it's it's the most minor nonsense but it's just a little irk where i'm like

motherfucker i just bought the update all right and essentially what it is is just updated the older version to have the new character and have the new moves and balance changes and that's really goofy you know so what they did though was that they made it so that let's say you don't buy the new version you want to keep playing the old one you won't get the new character but you'll still get all the updates to every previous character okay yeah all right so you don't get stuck in a world of old version game fuck off you get to play the old version not the new character but the old but the old characters get their new shit all right yeah that's uh you know but the trade-off of course is this kind of shit i heard that uh uniclear's netcode is it's delay based

yep but it is one of the best delay based compared to arcsis i mean it's it's you know it's still delay based um this is one of those things where you know what what what what doesn't work functional functional delay based is less bad than bad rollback well luckily enough we got a news story about that we'll get there we'll get there i just wanted to mention that uniclear has a really fun update that that game's good it's a good game has a really fun update that came with this new version of the which was simple after you play a ranked match with somebody you can do a rematch to do the set so you can do a like first to three mm-hmm right which is a thing that's existed in a couple of different games for now yeah um but once the set is done you can click

rematch unranked yeah so you can choose to continue playing with that person without them feeling like oh you're trying to rob my points it's it's great it's like hey hey would were these good matches and both of you are down for more let's go to let's go to a room let's go play each other and are you and and it's great because it encourages uh learning and teaching and it gets ego and pride out of the equation because someone that's like i'd be down but i don't want to lose my points right i feel like i who i just won those i'll take that win great well now let's like go and fucking have fun you know and maybe build a rapport i remember having moments in which i'd like key you know that the that streak where you keep running into the same person over and over

and over and ranked yes and i beat my ass like nine times in a row yes and then i win one i'm like yeah samurai showdown and then the next time they rank up quit yeah and i'm like you fucking coward exactly exactly yeah you mother there's no right there's no limit on the on the sam show rematch even though for points it's kind of silly but i i've talked about that earlier so this is basically putting the run back as a feature in the game that's great that's great i think everything should have that type of quality of life right and it universally encourages a positive thing you know you can choose not to play at all if you just want to keep grinding do what you want to do but like if you're in the spirit there's a button right there to just have a fun educational

session with somebody yeah yeah the run back um play unit clear it's a good game unit clear is good um and then yeah just uh two little bits one um so uh having completed uh spec ops having completed doom new lp starting completed doom yes finished doom that game's great fucking amazing super good and uh again i just need to give the biggest boldest shoutouts to samuel hayden and his optimus prime esk vibe yeah because i fucking love everything it goes places uh i i believe the the the meme is i only poo poo farted for the sake of humanity that's about right that's about right sam uh yay yay at that um yay to wherever things are gonna go they're going to earth cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

cool for sure for sure for sure no doubt no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no doubt um so started in u l p we cracked open the tin on something that i've been pushing you've been pushing we've been pushing for a while now but never actually uh sat and recorded and that is vanquish mm-hmm so the bayonetta vanquish pack has uh officially come out it's graced us i'm glad that this game has found a way to exist in this current generation because it deserves more attention more always always vanquish is a good game turn who would have thought turns out another shinji makami game deserves some attention what right and uh yeah now you can even though you have to get like bayo one with it or whatever it's

still you got the two pack there so yeah cracked it open but um min never played it so he's playing okay so i'm giving him some of the tips and tricks uh that i've learned over the years shoot the cigarette you can shoot the cigarette yep that's a good one do it yep um there's a couple others and the game gets mechanically nonsensically complex at times but vanquish still has my favorite pop off of any game ever yeah where it goes where it goes because it's a pop off that you're like if i hadn't beaten most of the game up until this point i literally would not be able to do this it's the feeling it's a feeling oh it's a vibe oh it's so good it's a vibe but uh so yeah but in the meantime i'm kind of like giving a couple of tips and tricks and like

there's a lot of advanced tech in that game that is like approaching smash levels of like what you got to do with your hands and did it did it did it did it did yeah you know exploiting the system but like oh you know when you if you decide to play the game on like god heart or something then like you fucking need that stuff you sure do you know so it's it's it's an interesting thing because i'm in the coach role right now um and you know he knows cover shooters obviously gears of war is one of his favorite i don't know if uh i would call vanquish a cover shooter yeah well that's the thing yeah the mistake a lot of people made playing it is thinking that it was because it looks like one for all intents and purposes and the problem is that the game doesn't give you

enough of the an understanding that you don't have to play it as a cover shooter you really don't you can stick and move but it's gonna be hard and you're gonna have to learn to stick and move but boy like i mean you still have to cover and shoot every now and then well no no no meter yeah you have to cover and shoot when you when you you know when when the time comes and and it's the majority of what you're doing let's not let's not make it seem as if the game is not about covering and shooting but it's just that the amount of covering and shooting you're doing in most other cover shooters in this game you can cut that time in like half yes uh the cover shooter was best defined by the phrase stop and pop whereas uh vanquish would be stop and then like a tire

screech and then pop and and you're and vanquish is the game where you are the action is happening as you're moving to the next cover it's not at the cover and then you move and then you next cover you're shooting and the action is happening in the moment in the movement you know so anyway there's a lot to learn and uh i kind of i'm throwing a lot out there and it was a little overwhelming at first definitely i'm trying to just be like i don't want to backseat to the point where it's like you have paralysis yeah there's too much to do you know but um i'm introducing them as we kind of come across it and you know it really does make um the game is fucking hard yeah if you're approaching it like cold for the first time so some of these little tips i think

are like really important to know like the grenade drop is something that you're gonna want to fucking know yes right off the bat which uh for example is when you're boosting on your knees and vanquish uh the moment you stop boosting sam there's a little like handstand flip back onto his feet if you drop a grenade while he's doing that handstand the grenade drops right on the ground in front of you as opposed to football hail marrying it down the down the field yeah so those are the useful situations to be in so little little little things like that where you're like you're gonna want to have a little that that is you stick and move it's also a game where if you miss the qte reload the fucking checkpoint and do the qte again because it's

worth it yeah um good times good times this is what happens when you give Putin a robot a robot when you give him a mecha suit a body of power armor this is what we get you know what a what a great antagonist that has zero personality at all well the personality is all i can remember is the design of the suit the personality is like he can fly for the motherland though like in my mind his personality is is i like he's a fucking piece of paper but it's like oh his can fly that's bullshit and that's it that's the whole that's that's vidania yeah you know um so yeah crack that open and kotor continues kotor is great loving kotor too um people are starting to get a little little confused about um some of the decisions i'm a

little confused a little confused i'm a little confused uh but uh i i i i'm effectively you know i'm adhering to the way of the light it's just that sometimes when you do a light side decision uh it's light side later might not be light side right it's just like it's for the greater picture in the grand total this small small gesture might seem like something that is not light and god forbid it might seem dark i don't know would the music cue of pop up uh dark points gained indicate that maybe it wasn't a good move maybe but in the grand scheme when we get to the end of the road it will be for the greater good and thus it is a true light side run if you need that twlech if you need that twlech

horror on stage dancing to make you money so that you can play pizak to get more money to fuel your quest to save the galaxy then that is light side deferred that is that is for the greater good doesn't work for what you're doing right now that's uh it's a intellectually dishonest sophistic masturbation i.e. you're jerking yourself off with your own bullshit if anyone who's listening to the audio version of this while willy was talking i was doing that phantom jerk off motion the whole time because that's what you're doing that's what you're doing right now so i'm being a jedi yeah yeah good game go fuck yourself again bullshit good game good game

you know griffith did nothing wrong because in the end it'll all turn out into a perfect kingdom well we don't know yet he's got to fucking finish playing his his games and then eventually get to the end of the story we'll have yet to find out you to feel bad the fact that you i just said griffith did nothing wrong as a joke and you said well we don't know yet you should feel bad hey man no not okay not okay hey all right sometimes you've got to optimize and sometimes you're looking at a means to a means to a means this utilitarian view of morality in a magic universe is complete garbage and you know it but good hustle light side deferred fuck that that's so stupid light now light later later it'll eventually be a light side decision

that's all eventual light side well anyway well anyway uh good game people want to check that shit out where would they do so well you can come on over to have a good old time over at woolly versus uh woolly wools on twitter woolly versus on youtube woolly versus on twitch and um yeah i think you've gotten a proper uh or div of of our offerings so you can sample at your heart's content and taste it's a little cheese plate just a little cheese plate little cheese plate there you go and i'm gonna let you sir oh i did i did the plug i mean i did the the past stairs that thing okay i'm doing re six this week but also tomorrow i'll be doing uh i'm gonna challenge myself to see who shows up to what i'm going to intentionally create is probably the

most boring final fantasy 14 stream i can manage i'm gonna do a weekly and then i'm gonna level a crafter to 80 on stream which means i'm gonna be talking with the chat a good bit because i'm just gonna be sitting there and hitting buttons oh i did that at the end of saturday after salt party um would had an abrupt ending yeah i kind of was like you know what well before we go let me just fucking do something else and i cracked open legend of bumbo yeah which you know i the bumbo went it up i bumbo did up um and then i did two really good runs and the second one took a long time went till about 2 a.m. on it and i you can i basically went asmr mode yeah hey everybody click the buttons yep i'm playing a puzzle game you're watching me play a puzzle game at two in

the morning it is what it is i've been streaming for fucking seven hours pretty much yeah you know but that's where it went to those of you are actually confused i will be teaching people how to level their crafters if you're at all interested in doing that for 14 because it's a process and it's a process i can help you with yeah i won't tell you how to make money though because go fuck yourself and when's that that'd be tomorrow at 8 p.m. at twitch.tv slash pat stairs at there you go you know re6 is on wednesday shut the fuck up shut up shut the fuck up about re6 it'll be wednesday i'm not doing it tomorrow okay hey you know what i just realized what's that uh that remember how there remember when there was some folks that were just like god just changed

the podcast officially to wednesday assholes that's right and it's like we just hit like four or five mondays in a row and it remains indefinitely set to that date that's crazy that thought is the most temporary lash out in the world don't worry that thought will come around again at some point at some point when it happens but for otherwise we're in the middle of the norm and when we're in the middle of the norm that thought doesn't occur it only occurs when there's a couple of them that hit but the grand scheme the grand scheme continues to be you know how i feel about this you know how i feel about that i got a really in-depth nuanced uh a series of thoughts on that and it's why don't we officially change the podcast date for real to my nuts damn that's saltier than me

i just really think it's funny like almost childlike hilarious to tell people that the answer to a question is is my nuts or d's nuts if i'm feeling spicy boondocks nope oh don't know where i got it don't know where there's a really good episode of the boondocks yeah that uh let's just say that a large ridiculous hijinks quest yes the answer is revealed to be d's nuts yeah and it literally involves a dead man okay like a corpse yeah and it leads up to d's nuts though and it's just if i ever got it's great if i ever got a tattoo i would get the word d's tattooed on my left scrotum and nuts tattooed on my right scrotum the most painful place you could do it yeah but when a message needs to be sent it will be heard granted i'll probably go to jail during the process

but a message will be heard and the judge will be like all right that's pretty funny you're free to go sir i'm still a fan of the um that face when my friends tell me that the shocked pikachu is a temporary meme that won't be relevant soon and then you post shocked pikachu such a good tattoo hey before we uh move on to news uh this is nothing to do with shit but anybody who likes fighting games and evo should check out mighty keef's newest evo video about the he plays the characters that are the fighting games you know you know this guy mighty keef yes he does a lot of really good videos of like basically he he's walking he's acting with himself and he acts like every game and every game has a different personality that is fitting of the community the

the the my personal highlight on this one is tech and man way in the back right just doing the what's it the milly rock uh with the giant mullet this is this is the kitchen mango nation yeah that guy yeah right our unicorn clear in the back just going his his his newest one with a unicorn clear and the new marvel the new marvel smash is just it's me baby yeah yeah yeah it's not this year baby yeah yeah those are fun and and you know what they stick to the simple the simple meme format yeah of just like putting the logo over the face yeah over the thing done it's you just get it it's right away yeah okay understood that is street fighter isn't it that is you know clear isn't it he gets it good one way back in the corner over there yeah yeah he's good he's great he's great

um you're right so let's roll in all right before we do that if you'll excuse me i need to use the washroom for a quick moment well while you do that i'll take a quick word from our sponsors preemptive thank you sponsors perfect time this week podcast is sponsored by honey what is honey it's great it's great online shopping made easy why uh you know not complicating the the process because if you want to find coupon codes this is a pretty simple way to do it it's a free online shopping tool that saves you money online by automatically funding you the best promo codes and applying them to your cart which means online shopping feel as easy as it's supposed to be so basically if you're shopping

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with doordash thanks doordash thank you okay so on to news hey it's the news guess what time it is hey you know what's great when developers improve their games do you think that's great hot off the jump yeah fuck it it's all i want to talk about this week when developers improve their games it's good isn't that good when they improve it generally speaking generally speaking so why would i be talking about this now will they take it away street fighter five what street fighter five they recently be improved it right street fighter five improved the netcode street fighter five all right so there's two quote

unquote versions of the story he is because there's the hot take which was hot and then there's the medium take which is still hot there's the measured the measured take which yes it is not quite as spicy and hot as the hot take but the measured take still might burn the tongue still radiates many heats you go you gotta blow the fork you gotta blow the fork so here is the simple backstory first not too long ago we talked about how uh bad the netcode in street fighter five was forever it's bad and it sucks because they actually did implement rollback but they implemented it poorly and it's double frustrating because they did a much better job with marvel infinite which uses the same netcode but better cross tech and had rollback wow so we go back as early as 2008

to find out that ggpo and rollback netcode has been a problem solved 12 years ago wow um nonetheless here we are and it was successfully implemented into certain games but in this case for one reason or another it was implemented poorly what ends up happening is a lot of people see teleporting one-sided rollback moments yeah where all the rolling back goes to one person and uh basically if we just you know if you if you want to get to the core of it without understanding the nitty gritty what you're looking at is a situation where uh your characters are teleporting around yeah as things that you do in your game are conflicting with things that a simulated version of the game thinks you're doing the long and short of it is that when a street fighter five matches good

it's good when it's bad it's an unholy teleporty un nonsensical shit mess that can barely be played great so that was the situation then along came ultimor oh hey ultimor what's up how are you doing today a user on the reddit who posted a simple thread that we talked about not too long ago which was quite to the point it was hey capcom i fixed your netcode it took me two days if the game was open source it would have taken me half an hour just put this in your folder and your netcode will work on pc obviously yeah uh done so what happens well turns out that ultimor's netcode dramatically improves netplay a lot for the people who have it yes and can fuck it up and one side the problems to the people who don't but if you both have it it works sailing perfectly and then a

follow-up a second version of it got made uh by someone else who basically improved on that idea by allowing you to continue to use it without fucking up one-sided um unpatched people which means that it was win win chicken dinner all the way down mr dinner you try uh if you both have it then you get the great stuff if one of you has it then you get the normal stuff and if you're doing cross play then it's fine yeah so uh the superior patch did eventually come out as like the update to that right still uh the net negative uh for ps4 players because i mean they can't do that but ultimately uh the idea was what it was and uh the fan patch came out and fixed it for a whole lot of people and for a brief moment in time street fighter five was fun to play online well the

important uh there's a lot of things but like i i really do want to harken back to that net code video with keats because it's important and part of what is uh said there is that when you improve the net code it doesn't just make a better experience for people it doesn't just make it so that people who are having matches get less frustrated at those matches right it allows you to expand the circle of matches you can play by a lot because suddenly many more people are viable and when that many people are viable it becomes easier to match you up with someone a mat approaching your skill level so the blowouts happen less i remember playing so the fun happens more third strike online edition against japanese players and it was fine it was completely fine

it wasn't perfect but it was fine i remember playing many uh three four years ago i played against max on his stream and he's in fucking california and it was like he was sitting next to me i uh personally love it when i encounter someone that fucking blows my ass out because i'm like oh i gotta rip open and find out everything here but in general when you're playing with nothing but killers it can get really discouraging it can get extremely discouraging extremely not a little very so this tech actually facilitates new players sticking with the game because it gives you a wider pool to select from and that pool will include people approaching the same it's a it's a knock on effect that's all good it's a little staircase of dominoes of like nice thing happened nice

thing happened nice thing happened great so everyone understandably then went um and yelled at capcom and uh ono got tagged in a bunch of tweets and he's like we are aware we were looking at it because boy did people let him know yeah and then uh they're like yep yep yep so championship championship edition is about to drop and you know cue the bernie sanders meme once again we are asking i don't know what the source of that meme is i think it's a political this is bernie sanders asking for support right yeah and then once again we are asking for your support for seth with titties you know and support given absolutely great see those cowards trying to change the voice what cowards cowards fucking cowards bitches you off with you deepen that

voice give me more bass more now okay his voice is already really pretty it's pretty it's it's it's deeper than that it's gonna sound weird okay all right we don't have to double down it's it's where it needs to be all right it's where it needs to be um anyway cowards nonetheless they're weak they're weak and they should feel ashamed uh when that drops everyone's like well perfect opportunity right because hey guess what you know it's really embarrassing when fans fix a problem that you didn't touch for four years fast right it's been literally since 2016 i think mike z diagnosed this bug during the sf5 beta sure did no listen no listen yeah not important not a high priority not on this team right not and and again it's the and the clarification

you're not lazy known but not hot priority not according to the pre just not important the people who decide the priority of of what needs to be fixed because devs are working on stuff they get told what's needs to be fixed and someone decides to prioritize them so eventually the earth shattering boom of everyone yelling about this does make its way because it's the fact that it got fixed in two days and it could have been even by an amateur a non-developer reverse engineering the situation yeah right great so uh as expected at some point there needs to be in a response to that we cracked a few jokes personally on this podcast you and so i want to give full credit some people told me that i called it no woolly you called it saying wouldn't it be crazy

if championship edition came out and said that we have now fixed the online system by disabling the patch yes and then i repeated that as a different joke the next week and then i laughed at the idea because it would be so absurdly bad it would be so absurdly negative it would be such uh an awful pr move to make that i couldn't imagine it happening well we're here but it didn't exactly happen it happened weird it didn't happen but for a brief moment in time we thought it did and i couldn't believe it yes i couldn't believe the possibility that parody came reality because um we got a we had the first thing i saw was a tweet and shout out to cori bell he's a member of the uh sam show fgc cool guy and uh he basically had a clip of like um him

finding cody no no not that oh not that one this is uh ultra david and oh james shannon and all james shannon ultra david on their show finding out about the patch i just really always have to say james shannon ultra david that's yeah ultra chen tv yeah okay right but them finding out about it and then just kind of oh visible size right staring at the floor and this was early on in when it dropped and we didn't quite know exactly what was going on because there were no details no notes of any time just said hey the adjustment has been made please take a look and then they said give us some feedback network functionality has been adjusted something the thing they do astonishingly yeah like like literally and it's the same type of patch notes we used to get back

in the day with like um get gameplay balance changes where it was just like the uh move move response has been adjusted the old smash notes are the funniest because it they were literally like various gameplay adjustments yeah that was the whole thing is like why even put the fucking note out what is the point what is the point you know i love reading fucking patch of course you do we talked about this a lot of times as well it is a it is it is like like when you it isn't a peek into the the how blind the developer wants the player to be to these mechanics yeah but it's ignorant because the the developer at that point by hiding those patch notes is acting as if people aren't figuring this out anyway yeah and it's like i mean and it's not just us people love

patch notes i've done three or four streams that are multiple hours long of me reading and going through like mmo patch notes and people are eating that shit up because you get to this thing of like the cooldown on this has been reduced by two seconds like oh my god that's incredible it's effectively reducing the um the it's like it's trying to pretend that it can like it's trying to pretend that like hey players don't analyze our game it's trying to pretend it's back in 1990 fucking four right it's trying to disincentivize players play disincentivize players from analyzing game and breaking it down to that level which they're doing anyway because they like the game and they like breaking things down to that degree and it's so dumb because it's just out of

touch with what people are actually doing so hiding those patch notes make you know and then furthermore if you don't if you betray your intentions then it also is is um trying to inoculate yourself from being called out for a bad decision because a top player that knows better might say hey that's a bad idea objectively and here's why oops right um shoutouts to Rising Thunder and its patch notes would say here's what we changed here's why we changed it and here's what it was supposed to be but what it does now yeah my favorite type of patch notes is uh either directly in it or associated with usually a live broadcast of like hey we're changing this yes this is why we're changing it yeah yeah yeah killer instinct streams were great killer instinct streams were a

lot of fun we got to watch Keats walk through those characters and go so here's what you can do now and right don of war went super in depth with their patch notes as well um and i always had mad respect for the level that they broke it down shoutouts to the hat in time patch notes that apologize to me personally sure um that was a fucking trip but yeah but i just love the idea of just like here's what this thing was supposed to do and here's what it ended up doing so here's why we changed it and how we expect you to use it and it's like thank you right you're not creating things in a void without an idea of what you want the player to do and you're not stifling creativity by saying this is the only way to play it it's just describing the reason why your tool

exists so let's pretend we're getting off track yeah but let's pretend you're not you're a fighting game player and you're either the patch notes are it's shit got changed and that's it say they changed the the delay or the the recovery on giles sonic boom so you got to do your combo and it doesn't work anymore what you got to spend an afternoon going oh yeah this doesn't work anymore yeah instead of just reading it in one line and go oh yeah that's not gonna work okay but it might still work in the corner yeah might still work against big characters that's a whole day but certain characters that are normal to small sized it will no longer work against it's bullshit will you go and load up a training room match with everyone on the cast to figure that part out if

you're pro and it matters yeah you will but how about you make people that are trying to enjoy your game how about you take away that wrote non fun 30 loading fun like like that full afternoon and a half to break all that down by saying what's going on fighting games are already difficult when you know what you're supposed to do yeah it doesn't help to not tell people what they're supposed to do or what they can no longer do anyway so these patch notes were obfuscated not useful so what happened well the first thing everyone noticed was the fan patch obviously stopped working now granted that was to be assumed because any patch was probably gonna break it compatibility wise exploitations are always a threat you got to close up vulnerabilities but even like just

changing the chunks right like it's gonna point to the wrong but at the bare minimum the thought process would be we closed that loophole made that incompatible and did the exact same thing result wise right that is not what happened so the first time that I saw before I saw anybody talking about it I saw a tweet that was this is my first game online sorry my second game online played with the new netcode and I believe it featured a kodi teleporting like an asshole just as bad as any match I've ever seen or played and went sick great awesome good patch yeah so um that that was the fear right and uh my it my immediately upon the drop I remember I was like dear fucking god they did it they did the thing that is not actually fixing it and removing the thing that works for

people that is embarrassing that is embarrassing to fighting games because that is the one most important feature you need right now it's what new players require to to stay on this it does so much and it was already handed and then this that what we got was not that right the fear was that there was no adjustments made well it took some time to figure out exactly what happened as because there were no patch notes people had to dig and dig and dig and eventually we figured out what happened there were adjustments there were adjustments right um so uh definitely the first thought that you know what whatever I'm scrolling but it doesn't matter um I'll just go to the final take on it uh the the the the thing that we found out essentially was that there were adjustments

for some people and they got way better results so if you already had a good connection your results for the game probably significantly improved um shout outs to move cow on twitter who many people played for a while to get their impressions in on how they felt about uh you know whether things were improved for them or not and uh eventually we got a further breakdown so capcom did put out a detailed like write up about what they what changes they made because people went can you fucking tell us what you did please no because the wars are starting and I'm like here's a list of every game that used rollback you're gonna need this here you go quick reference for everybody um but yeah move basically uh went over it and was able to in short summary put

together that they shrunk the window in which it allows the game to drift off from a desired frame differential basically the gap between when two players have uh uh uh an increase so ideally the teleports should be closer together the window now scales based on the ping to the other player and as a consequence it is much more aggressive about resinking timing into the intended range mid-match so that's good the problem is that one sided rollback still exists the window is just tighter uh matches with unstable ping when sitting near a frame boundary it can have excessive amounts of microstuttering as it attempts to correct itself primarily sinking on ping rather than system timing which causes the network effect to be stronger than it otherwise would be so as a

result people who've already had very good connections will have the best results no longer experience unacceptable amounts of one-sided latency people unless stellar connections will struggle still and not be getting most out of rollbacks so they did improve the net code in a way that people who have the best connections to other people will see some improvement and the people who have shit experiences will continue to have shit experiences if you're in the middle it will vary on top of that uh the game still will pair you up uh as max did a really long talk about this right when it happened but one of the bigger problems with it is that it will just pair you up with fucking anyone and the bars don't matter for shit the bars lie

that's why there was a big old meme on our subreddit that said uh uh crazy argentinian ken is coming your way another brazilian ken is coming your way right and it's like why am i being matched up with the my five brazil yeah that's not a five bar fucking match i'm just hearing the music went with the announcement yeah uh but what happened well that's that's what happened right and that's all there really is to it and you know um there definitely is something to be said about um i'm i about you know possibly spreading misinformation and uh jumping a gun which a lot of people um you know it did upon that that first announcement i certainly wrote up that scathing tweet on first reaction to hearing what was essentially capcom taking out the fix

and nothing else being changed um thank god that turned out to be untrue thank god i was wrong about that yeah right a little wrong so i will i i you know when that type of discussion happens and um there are folks that are going dude you're jumping the gun right you're you're you don't know this this is not factual you're spreading misinformation i understand that there's a lot of people that like look at fighting game information from me so i definitely hate to be possibly well luckily enough you have a platform that you can correct yourself echoing back the wrong thing yeah so i'm happy to be wrong when it makes the situation better in this case here's what we got a half fix yeah so the most important thing to point out is that while the netcode for

sf5 is technically a little better than it was before it's still shit ass compared to the fan patch which is now disabled and effectively the i you know that you had one job yeah in this case literally copying homework nope so literally copying homework would have been a better result one of two things happened i'm gonna i'm gonna armchair fantasize about the you know the development so one of two things happened either they went well we didn't write that but let's look at it and try and learn it ourselves and we'll implement our own fix which was ineffective in comparison so the it's not made here asshole mentality taken to the nth degree when you have a perfect solution it's not ours or they did know what was going on and saw that

fix and we're willing to implement it but for whatever reason it could not be implemented as well on the ps4 and thus cross play compatibility would suffer i personally think it's the former but i'm willing to admit that the latter is a possibility not only is it a possibility but further discussions going off of that that thread i mentioned earlier basically break down the possibility that like okay so they've expanded you know the the range here they've they've allowed a couple of basic shitty errors that existed in the fucking launch version of this code they've they've made it so that you can actually again if you already have a good code a good connection you're going to experience

less fucking teleporty yeah one-sided rollback moments right um it's the rich get richer and the poor stay poor it's entirely possible that the full assessment of the situation also resulted in an outcome where they're like to fix this properly we got to start from the scratch and we don't have time or money to do that absolutely not this is the final version of the game yeah it's been the final version of the game for a while we're like championship is trying to send it off into the sunset yeah so uh yeah you kind of look and go this is the best we're gonna get right and that coming on the final moment of a game's last release four years from its launch is extremely underwhelming and continues to be an embarrassment which is the term i used

because it is that harsh though it may be it's the truth and it's a flagship title this is street fucking fighter it sucks to hear that making the right decision to go with rollback but having no transparency or like like i guess just like um then follow through follow through yeah makes it retroactively look like a bad decision to go with rollback oh yeah because they're like oh look at all these problems no one's happy you know even though delay and even though it's objectively better than delay base let's see if street fighter six goes back to delay base netcode let's fucking see i was about to say never could you fucking and then i choked it back because i want to say never because it feels as if everyone and their dog is now even casually

aware of the differences between rollback and delay based and everyone and their dog is like we want rollback because especially with guilty gear strive yeah it's it's a loud and clear feeling however however however yeah i live in a world that is a bubble dome a fucking fishbowl of these feelings i can't accurately assess what's happening outside the fishbowl this rollback world speaks exclusively in english and french and german and brazilian portuguese and not in japanese not in japanese so i can't see what's happening outside the fishbowl and i'm always trying to be hyper aware of the fact that like just because i'm surrounded by this mentality doesn't mean it's universal it could just be that the people that i know and interact with

on a regular basis have this sentiment i had a friend of mine because dbz is changing up a lot stuff for their third season and i was like they improved the netcode and he's like actually there's an interview in which they talk about they are going to try and improve dbz's netcode but it's a non-committal world looking into its statement but all i can think about is oh come on man that would be real good dude you added in assist types they needed to be there from the jump you brought them in you added in kafle you got a couple of other balance adjustments going on and things are happening that's cool if we can get some of that in there and if we can also also make the stupor dash startup a little bit slower especially for online

just a little bit i think we'd uh we'd be cooking with gas but but but but um i i think it's the next generation you know i don't think it's this one this is the one where it's now at a fever pitch um people have been slowly learning about it because ggpo was being yelled about in 2008 yeah because it worked immediately and anyone who plays a lot of fighting games that loves i felt it instantly the first time i the first time i played it was like oh my god it's night and day right and you're used to fucking god uh kylera clients yeah right anyone who came from the days of kylera clients or kyera however you pronounce it um knows that the moment you touch something that feels good with good game peace out back in 2008 it works right away and then

you it the game changed for you forever so you started talking about that but the idea of of it spreading to to the major releases you're like i hope it does but fuck yeah it feels like it would never get there right well it took 12 years but finally it's been shouted loud enough and you know i think the fact that like it's shouted out on things like this podcast for example helps like boosts that nothing nothing is gonna help like that riot game coming out yeah that might do it too that's gonna do it or not but it's how how overtly are they gonna tell people by the way this uses a good netcode that you don't usually see in other games people will feel it it'll be because it'll be free yeah i guess so i guess so um but anyway i everyone gets it right i don't

want to fucking uh would it be be labor uh you know the point here because um i can feel the the checkout but you know whatever we're having this discussion again and and it's the same as it always was wouldn't be nice to never have this discussion again yes it would be and i apologize if you've mentally checked out because you're tired of hearing us talk about this but the end of the story is simple um you know the the the street fighter five final patch is a half fix and and i said like it once like once to take cooled off um you know i i posted a thread that effectively just says look it's a half fix it's good that the official tweet implies they're gonna continue working on it but it's embarrassing that um people are now distrustful of the official word largely due to

issues like this and please please please please please never forget about the root kit wouldn't this have been a good thing to start working on back in the beta four years ago yes it would have hindsight is 2020 i don't think this is hindsight i think this was foresight back then hindsight is root kit out of 20 so uh i capped that off with the idea that um you know it took a fan patch a floodgated complaints and four years to get an inferior version of that great super awesome um and lastly which is you know a big point that you know some of those who were you know upset at me were pointing out they're like have you have you touched this and i played

and i had i did a did a sesh of it got some games in you know um i got about an hour and a bit uh of matches and i on my end noticed no improvements i noticed the exact same exact same match oh well i noticed that i had uh the same thing i had from the get go which is uh pretty normal matches except uh stuttering at least once per every two rounds let's say or once per round in some cases but it was every game yep and i noticed the the the desync and then the occasional nightmare there's minimum one minimum one desync every single match i played and that's exactly what it was when it launched great so i saw no improvement personally super um that's the street fighter five story and uh that's about that

hopefully it's the last street fighter five story we ever talk about hey seth is cool seth is cool you think the titties are metal or like soft metal uh i think they have jiggle physics okay that's good that's good hard metal titties is just sad yeah um or rather now with now with bouncy boob technology ah there it is have you seen that sticker it's yeah there you go uh funky mode what's the funky mode bouncy boob is bouncy boob technology so that's what's happening in the meantime there's more like in the meantime am i right hey everybody hey hey dad boy a couple different places we can go with this we can talk about um um well we can we can talk about the uh uh the other things happening fighting game wise

or smash wise there was an uh there was an interview with sakurai and sakurai had a couple of things to say what did he say um essentially it looks like fighter pass volume two is going to be the end of smash brothers ultimate that seems completely unshocking thank god people that thought there was going to be a third fighter pass are kind of insane um so let's see uh dear god this campaign is making it really hard to read gamatsu at the moment it's fucking turning the screen it's black text on a red background and it's are you serious jesus not great all right here we go um so uh some choice quotes from uh from sakurai include we've announced that we would make another six characters but the six characters

themselves are decided and there are no plans to make any more beyond that basically after we released the six characters the work on smash brothers ultimate will finally come to an end and i can die i'm not the one who decides which characters will participate my position is to take up the proposals from nintendo i'm always consulted so if i'm not convinced the character will work i can turn it down but we will never cancel a character for lack of ideas i can't work on anything else while i'm working on this basically any future of a new game directed by me is gradually disappearing and personally i'm fine with that i have never worked with a personal desire to create a new title or direct basically i work to make other people happy i can't come

well that's how he feels he feels like he's uh it's a very um it's a very uh engineering mindset you know what i mean it's like he doesn't see himself as a creative he sees himself as a functional director he sees himself as i just want to make everybody happy and he's like well that's my job i'm putting on my hard hat i'm getting my wrenches and i'm going to twist the bolt until everyone's happy with it and then i go home with my lunch pail you know uh it's not a career it's the complete opposite of you know the the creative uh the genius go jumbo the genius go jumbo it's not that it is not that um i can't say definitively that there's no possibility that smash brothers series will continue after this both myself and

those in charge of nintendo haven't thought about the future at all releasing new content with that holding back isn't ideal when it comes to making your game last longer letting them out in small doses prolongs the lifespan of the game that's why adding these six characters is a luxury so that's basically the deal we should all come out at once yeah that'd be cool i want it now i know i don't even want it now i just hope they all come out at once like seven months from now just fuck it they're all here yeah i think it's very you know like it's very straightforward with the way the statements are made because it's like of all the games in the entire industry to speculate on smash is by far the biggest speculation magnet we've ever had in the industry which is

why when he just says look there's no plans and that's it we'll we haven't talked about it that's about it as honest and answers you can give let me see my family please yeah it's it's not like we will never talk about it but it's simply look this is it this is what we've talked about and then it stops here unless other things come out but this is the process yeah right um so anyone who's connecting strings on a tack board can chill um and also he definitely puts out front that uh i am NOT the one who decides re-emphasize that doesn't give me a lot of hope want a guru nah yeah okay i'm sorry can you grab me one yeah i got so little sleep last night i'm sorry but i'm not i'm i think i have enough well if you don't i'll give you yours because they're yours no problem

so this is where we are whether or not gino makes it into smash is ultimately decided already decided by nintendo here you go man thank you is that the last one that is the last one okay i made the mistake of trying to go to bed at 10 30 p.m last night this led to me waking up at 2 30 a.m so what's that everybody never go to bed early yeah i just play tap in until i fall asleep that's kind of where i'm at never go to bed early it's a trap i made it back to champion congrats feel good didn't even know you draw no this season resets ah well it's fucking double congrats then yeah akuma fuckers need to know their place so that's what's going on with smash brothers other things happening worthy of discussion

i can think of one that'll wake you right up right now what's that but well it would seem that atlas has a couple of things to say about the video recording guidelines yeah i got some things to say for persona five so atlas the phantom strikers i am looking forward to enjoying uh persona five in the way that high rule warriors was an interesting take on zelda as a muso persona five muso sounds like a really cool fun video game there was a clip that came out a few days ago of a million jack frost running down the street and everybody was going he ho and you know what that made me really interested in the game i'll tell you this um

it's also like appealing to think of a game where it's like oh all the cool and style of persona stuff without a 200 hour commitment wow feels like something that might be good to show off to people people might get into it people might get into it do you have a list of statements i sure do let's roll them off shall we well here's what's important now because as we do this in this tone as content creators we sound like assholes because we are of course oh don't worry we'll get to why we're being assholes afterwards but i want people to hear the fucking list we are the most affected by this compared to the average person just playing the game for that's true thus it feels personally directed towards us and you'll see why shortly here it comes down on high

one uploading screenshots or videos of persona five scramble requires you to use the console's own capture and share functions i'm sorry what the thing that literally no one in this business does ever ever ever ever the share button and xbox record that only are the only ways to capture footage what not my capture card and rig that i have bought and maintained solely for this purpose not allowed wow that seems asinine and stupid as fuck and seems to be a way to get around the fact that when you load up any story sequence in that game it's going to tell you that sharing is disabled because they can can you that's a feature that playstation four for example has to make it so that you cannot share this moment so they'll be able to see hey any footage of any of

this thing go fuck yourself and die wow all right what's number two atlas will not allow screenshots or videos captured via personal capture cards oh so the follow-up to the earlier same thing got it just in case you had a method totally redundant of recording gameplay but also not using your own personal capture card but wow only upload videos to sites supported by the sharing features of the switch and the playstation four what about the xbox only upload videos to sites supported by the sharing features on switch and playstation four all right so xbox users if you want to upload footage you have to check to see if the playstation and switch both support those websites okay can i stream to mixer no but it is mixed bitch no is there a button for mixer on my

switch this is literally atlas being in japan and not knowing how an xbox works if you are showing event scenes or story on xbox yeah whatever if you are showing event scenes or story scenes you must clearly mention that there are spoilers spoiler warning you mean the ones that are automatically disabled from showing yeah okay you gotta mention that all right spoilers let's let's let's ignore the fact that in a video review for example uh or you would show a 10 second clip of a boss fight or some shit most most of the time that'll go over people's heads without context but if you have to put a this is a spoiler this is a very important story sequence you've actually legitimately spoiled it

for many many humans what kind of stegosaurus is sitting behind a desk making these decisions the stegosaurus that would write down point number four or five i forget where we're at footage or screenshots should also show copyright atlas copyright sega copyright koay tecmo games all rights reserved all right so i want to throw down some shit one the share feature does not include those no which means in order to adequately do this yes you would have to share it to your youtube channel yes pull it down yourself yes edit those copyright tags onto it yes and then re upload it unedited save for that yes which might be against the rules because you didn't use the share feature to put that footage up also you're going to need to reinsert all that text

that says at playstation share now oh they do now oh it includes the copyright oh it does that now i didn't know that i guess that's game per game well never mind all right never mind rescinded only use the share function copyright atlas copyright sega copyright koay tecmo games oh good yay all rights reserved good do not use the gameplay footage for any other purposes other than showing gameplay what does that mean don't make an am v don't make a review don't make content of any kind other than hey don't make a hey cool joker video yeah don't don't don't make memes don't don't make memes don't you make a meme how god damn it you fucking how dare you do not meme desune hey

no that's a question whatever desune is a confirmation nani yemero meme desu yes meme ga arimasen there we go uh me move and i actually yeah if you want to go that way with it do not only upload music or bgm data or use gameplay footage for the main purpose of listening to the music addendum woolly can i buy that music no can i stream that music no is there any way to acquire that music legally absolutely not okay great just wanted to check you could always rip it privately no don't do that upload and gameplay to sites that require scripts subscription services or

payment to browse is counted as using gameplay for monetary purposes okay if you have a a giant bomb that has a subscription and has twitch sub on yeah if you have a youtube premium whatever whatever don't do that don't do it don't make it exclusive um do not use gameplay footage to slander other people not sure what that means that's genuinely kind of confusing don't talk shit about people while joker's on screen all right good thank you if atlas requests you to remove the video please remove the video videos that atlas deems unacceptable will be deleted or taken off from viewing that's a threat queries into this matter may or may not be answered by atlas why is that even there that says literally nothing we don't have to answer you

you didn't before like it's a that's a weird nothing statement if the streaming or uploading of gameplay leads to monetary loss atlas does not hold any responsibility nor will they pay any monetary that one is super baffling that is so dinosaur it's like listen if you stream the game and somehow you lose money from streaming it you can't sue us for saying that it was our game's fault that you lost money for example if they claim the video and are taking all the revenue on it that you would have gotten then you can't sue them for that i mean you know that's not lots of fun though well that's lack of gaining fun so i'm like what fucking well not if not if it's disputed and held an escrow oh yeah you know but um what do you want me to tell you i've seen videos

of uh game delays games getting delayed and like dsp is said like this is ruining my life because the game got delayed and i was supposed to stream it all right woolly well i have a very the one statement for you and it's for everyone at home take this to heart people say a lot of things that's it that's it it indeed indeed uh players are not allowed to share anything about the games end game or anything afterwards you know what the best part about that one is that one's not about footage

yeah it's just spoilers that's just straight up person who plays persona five scramble atlas is telling you you are not allowed to talk about the end game so here's the feeling here's the no one so we look at now you now you stand back right you do uh what my my art history teacher used to do when he's like the proper way to view an art a piece of art when you go to the museum is uh you look at it you read the tag and then you stand back yeah and you put your hands out at your sides yeah and you allow yourself you put your hands out at your sides like palms open like this and you allow yourself to take in the full breadth of the work really feel the space feel the work yeah with its frame right you have to lean back and feel the frame give it to me real

yeah you stand back and you look at the picture of all of these rules together um and it's don't and here's what you see you see someone who has a very pointed but albeit minor concern that people will get spoiled about what's going to happen and thus not by the game please don't spoil the cool things people don't want to see spoilers of the cool things you'll ruin sales if you do that right and then a very very very large slice of this pie says fuck let's players fuck streamers how dare you you mother fuckers are killing us out here robbing the food from my children's mouths they're gonna starve you are taking the food out of their mouths little haru and mizuki are gonna die because of you bitches

is now i understand some of you the folks that are new to the situation might think but hold on a moment aren't you um exploiting someone else's work and uh using it to make a monetary gain in a very straightforward and simple way yes yeah here's the fun thing the amount of sales a game makes after it's people check it out on any given stream or let's play is always a boost always a boost always even for bad games it is literally a signal boosts for the thing it promotes the thing yes are there people that use this as a replacement experience totally you know what those are called people without the means to purchase them you know what they're also called the minority yes you know what the majority is

people check things out the de facto rental replacement has been i will look at a friend playing it i will check out a streamer i will check out a youtube video for like an hour's worth of uncut footage and see if the game is good that has replaced video rentals hey i heard about this really cool franchise i think it's called ryuga go toku yeah shame it never uh the copies are really rare uh i'm not sure how you could get a hold of it i heard it was good maybe but i you know i don't know anyone who's played it what's up with this oh there's these jackasses from this uh shit tier youtube site they're playing it they think it's cool oh wow it's really cool cue the amazon uh explosion of sales cue many people pushing it hey look

all the games have now been translated into english check that out isn't that cool cool so when um when this broke uh my official stance on this for atlas hold on a second i just want to let everybody in the in the podcast uh listening to the podcast right now know that uh metal wolf chaos xd is now available that's right uh as it was released on the 6th of august 2019 um so uh from software devolver digital general arcade ink uh very positive reviews on stim you can purchase a copy right now you could uh for you know what 2899 canadian that sounds great that's probably 25 bucks american right probably if you felt like buying a copy of metal wolf chaos xd uh it's a pretty cool game i think you might want to uh

consider it just putting out a little lot little little spot um a little ad for that game i want i want to also point out that i'm pretty sure that the final um uh rule in that in that thing is a violation of my civil rights okay well hold on a minute hold on let's let's back it down what's going on here you can't tell me what to not talk about atlas you can go fuck off to hell that you're gonna say you can't tell me what to do yeah and i was gonna get full-on flashbacks to tool time yeah that episode where older kids says to tim you can't tell me what to do and then it's a crisis of parenting yeah well anyway um um i want to move on to a slightly different statement from atlas okay which is not technically

about persona five scramble a o a or a o j a o j a o j says hey persona fans if you really want persona five or persona five royale on the switch you make your voices heard through social media now let's ignore the fact that this has been an ongoing thing literally forever including people going god damn it can we please get any of your games on modern platforms including the pc and this has been a non-stop refrain literally for over a decade hey persona q2 jokers on the nintendo yeah and smash but on top of that hey guys use social media to push our games it's not like we threaten you or anything let them know let them know make it loud and clear that you want this game on the switch

using text only text only only text only text hashtag if you must but it is discouraged preferably let's not get too crazy with those url verbally on to chan okay i know new westerners like your twitter's and your icq and aim and shit text only hashtag if you must urls also discouraged it's no memes no definitely no fucking memes definitely not video memes and motherfucker i see you trying to make ascii art i see you try to make that ascii art of the screenshot ascii art it's it's legitimately unbelievable um so i would like to put it into a grander context i spoke about this on stream oh let's let's step even further back and there there is a grander context here take in the artwork that i legitimately cannot believe yes atlas

i believe it's atlas us in the lead up to the persona five royal release date which by the way also still has a wealth of do not videotape this shit of course past a certain date which is basically all the new content in in royale certainly um hired a pr slash influencer management company to help promote the game i believe they recently showed it off at one of the paxes i forget what event was an event that i and i think you as well might have been invited to said hey man come down to la you can record like an hour of footage of persona five royal to take back to your youtube channel and make a a promo thing for persona five royale i forgot yeah you did get invited we're both in the same thread yeah and uh you you said you said you were busy

and i was like i was a little blunter i was like uh no thank you i i'm a little busy i had got a war i stream you know i don't want to go all the way out to la and then in a different conversation outside the thread that you're in i'm like i was fairly blunt i'm like listen man i don't want you to send me the persona five royale merch i don't care now there's a third party it's not atlas so they're just trying to get their hustle on right i just want you to tell me if i can stream persona five royale that is literally all i want to know yeah and they said get back to you okay and they never got back to me okay for sure for sure for sure for sure for sure um the the astonishing fucking like uncohesive holes here of please promote our game

via your social media and youtube and twitch powers but only when we ask you to and only in the way that we want you to and we'll actually facilitate that dramatically but nothing else and if you do anything else we will threaten your videos channel and livelihood is what led to my fairly blunt you can go fuck yourself to hell atlas statement and on top of this as a content creator and or streamer whichever you prefer i now look i now look at persona five royale and persona five scramble and go am i even gonna pick up these games that i can't work on at all i have ff seven and fucking resin evil coming out right now why the fuck should i give the time of day to the shit that is like spitting on me and my like choice of profession why would i

give them a thumbs up and give them promotion well if you intended to treat it as and doom also and doom and animal crossing and cyberpunk and notes our puns later yeah okay well if you intended to treat it as a simple private consumer and consume it privately there's only so much time for games that i only privately consume this becomes the unfortunate nature of the beast the unfortunate nature of the beast is that a private time becomes public time yeah it's only so many hours a day why would i pick up games that i can't stream at all even once even a one night tuesday stream but more telling i think um is just is that one must hope that internally there are those who fight the dinosaur yeah and those people live over in atlas n a or atlas us whichever it's called i

always forget but the stegosaurus way atop the japanese office if that's where this comes from which it is it's where it's i can tell you right now that is absolutely where it comes from with certainty yeah um there's like you know there's a thing that happens where we talk about the out-of-touchness like we just did with street fighter five years like this is this is an out-of-touch this is the refusal this is like stratosphere yeah this is reentry yeah you're like you're not on this planet anymore because and i refuse to come down and i refuse to eat well and because like literally literally the facts are that you are anti promotion of your game which okay i guess so what do we sure what do we end up with we end up with the feeling with the average consumer

that is the same way when you hey you want to go say hey well you want to check out the new movie there's no reviews it's already out and there's no reviews i guess they didn't do any advanced screenings anyone talking about this what's going on no but here's the thing must be trash huh but no but here's the thing though it's persona five yeah it gets that clout no matter what yeah well but hey let's protect spoilers on a game that's been out for months by the way yeah it gets the clout no matter what because it's huge it's a it's a giant beloved property and franchise um we just have to deal with these insane dinosaur rules and you know uh okay so the stegosaurus says you're not allowed to basically it says don't play our don't show don't play the

game don't show the game don't do it don't so then we know that's it and then you pick something else whatever okay well and then you know people will do what they do and we'll see the results of it it's extra crazy considering atlas is underneath sega now and like yakuza in all english actually yakuza in all non-japanese speaking territories was explicitly resurrected by people pushing those games now i'm not going to sit here and say that i'm responsible for bringing yakuza to the west but i know i did a little bit yeah i pushed it a little bit and here's and here's the problem is again you know remember what i talked about where i said like put yourself in the in those ridiculous clown shoes yeah and see what they see you put yourself in the ridiculous clown shoes and then

you hear the like i can already you know picture the um uh entitled entitled let's playing assholes are mad they can't cash in on whatever gay you know what i mean like or what hey guess what like that's a sarcastic over exaggeration which is completely accurate but isn't the point hmm of course entitled let's play streamer assholes are mad they can't make money off of this it's our job it's the way the rent gets paid man but but uh what are you fucking stupid but this but the the nature of how you decide to stand on a soapbox i suppose is what people will judge you on and uh at the end of the day it's fine yeah you can do what you want yeah but on a on the level of course you there's no point to just screaming till you're blue in the face about it

so that's certainly not what i'm interested in doing but i definitely on a podcast where we talk about game news i'm willing to point out that that doesn't make a whole lot of sense but because it's anti sales yeah and here's the follow-up it's literally against what would help your game here's the follow-up to of course dumbass it's how the rent gets paid you know what else there are other games coming out that i can pay my mortgage with so it's not actually about this specific game was stealing my money no it's like hey i wanted to cover this that coverage is now either explicitly banned or monetarily pointless therefore i will cover something the fuck else fuck you you stupid game who would go out with an ugly hoe like you

anyway reddit slash god who's not allowed to stream nice let's players nice lpers boy i hope everyone's looking forward to my animal crossing and do maternal streams games i was honestly going to stream over this one anyway but still yeah it really is uh it really is surprising to me at the very least i know that you hold you you're like no i know i know but i thought that like p5 and the reaction afterwards oh you're fucking crazy you're insane you're gonna say that oh they would have opened up their eyes and they would have seen that you know well didn't the second thing that came out where they said okay you can now go up to Christmas yeah didn't that sound a bit like they were like or maybe it was in my head no no maybe it was the

exact same thing they just moved the date up a little bit okay because you know the game's a little older now yeah i'm dumb that was a naive hope you were wrong to have hoped i thought i thought for a second you know that like that would have not been that mistake would not be repeated because it's such a glaring and not only has it been repeated it's been repeated for the third time now when did it start p5 then p5 adjustment which was just a slight date change and then Catherine then christ no five times now then Catherine then p5 scramble then p5 royale sorry then p5 royale then p5 scramble what about q anyone talking about q nope oh you know why because there's no good way to capture that so they didn't bother

camcorder and a fucking yeah but that's so that's so niche that they probably didn't even consider it camcorder and an iphone bro yeah that's where we all start yeah you know what atlas hates memes you know what you all need to do meme it up i call upon the listeners of this here podcast to meme the shit out of atlas's dumb bullshit are you bad at memes so much the better meme it up fellow gamers yeah okay i'm not trying to wield any fucking crowd into any sort of crowd audience it's super good you can you can the fucking fantasia all you want hey woolly did you ever see the the that late night that i just post i'm bored send memes yeah sure oh send memes versus launch memes in the in the in the

meme cannon put them in the mortar it's a big difference hey listen memes are good for you well i thought the answer to you know what they hate would have been money yeah but who knows and before we leave this topic you know what they love what's that leafy greens they do stegosaurus need them to survive it's true i would like to point out the fact that this is so ridiculous and outrageous is due in part due to the hilarious laughable unbelievable almost parody like conch uh uh what's the word uh contrarian nature of the themes of persona five being fuck the man fight the power steal shit and all of this stuff steal to help better society says persona five as atlas screams at you maybe for telling people about the game in the first place maybe maybe

um i have never seen a more wide disconnect between the creatives and the corporate in terms of intent it's fucking hilarious joker would fucking stream persona five without permission that's the kind of guy joker is now i don't know too much i don't know anything about anything so uh you know my my impressions about what a persona game might or might not be about might be mistaken that's true however however i can say that i do feel that it's possible that the stegosaurus on top of atlas tower might have a palace it's possible and that palace might need to be infiltrated so we can take its heart that's quite possible gotta steal the treasure it's a laptop of the youtube tab open unsubscribed it's not a game just right not a robot a a challenge in you i can't remember

the rest of your basin i'm here to see it through yeah i need to get the lyrics so i can actually right before your eyes watch us multiply just just fucking the stegosaurus inside of a big like uh a fucking like atlas logo converted into a desk with like limbs and uh yeah yeah and it has an attack where like it blinds the screen and makes it a text it only oh man that text only adventure that's really that's great text only that's legitimately great and then you do enough damage and then you get back to the real visuals demonetized oh my god they hit you with demonetized demonetized your money turns to zero all you only get it back no more cash after the end of the fight yep better not lose better not die oh that's so good

oh telling you bro it writes itself yeah do you remember nintendo and nintendo's youtube program yeah they had something they tried to whip out and they were like nintendo games only through nintendo mm-hmm and you remember when they killed that and completely gave up i just never heard of it again do you remember when sega ubisoft uh rock star all the big companies were like you stop that shit and it was during our youtube tenure in which we were like uh-oh is this the content id apocalypse that one january many years ago where everybody got hit by a fucking million claims and then that just kind of stopped it's almost like almost every video game company tried to kill let's plays and streaming going

they're taking sales only to be called out on their bullshit and see sales go down when they did that if you and then quit and just give up if i can take a third step back from the painting that's right to see even further even bigger even further which you know when the frame is trying to capture something in orbit you need a really big frame the world um remember that time that that company tried to stop information on the internet from spreading yes mistrisen do you remember how well that worked out i do and how did it work out when that company tried to stop that information it went great oh okay oops wait no ain't nobody knows nothing thumbs up the mp3 mistrisen remember when lars was like hey man don't copy that floppy

and i responded with go to hell lars oops i accidentally downloaded resident evil sound files assorted into pornography instead of your new song but that's still pretty funny the mp3 barbra strisand and elizabeth porn also the governments of the world in general what do we have in common shut up shut up don't shut up stop stop stop stop stop it oh no Edward Snowden's elizabeth porn mp3 oh god oh god damn it don't listen to that he's got a dry voice it's weird this is traitorous immoral pornography julien assange sponsored by lars ulrich

a good drummer but a total piece of shit that stegosaurus hates julien assange hates him get out of here man pamela anderson going to pay him i swear to god if this keeps up mother fuckers gonna find out about the asteroid and we can't have that why is pam anderson paying him visits fuck that paint me visits i'm a stegosaurus god damn it we'll let him know fetch my typewriter i have a letter to write change the ribbon dear daily times i do not want this letter reprinted the letter to the editor on your god damn online website like some kind of churlish ho now hold on a moment does the does this letter require eyeballs to see it because the visual medium betrays us why not skip right to

braille why not why not throw out the entire idea of seeing things you know what this reminds me just get down to braille it reminds me of fax your complaints to nintendo what was that it was anything anytime nintendo does the bad online please fax your complaints to nintendo because they have we know they have a fax machine yep well hey man look if you happen to be a fucking pirate out there if you're a rogue you got your ipad your peg and legged parrot if you are a uh phantom thief that's correct uh you can uh do whatever you want and just realize that atlas might come down on you with the full brunt of their force when they deliver you that copyright strike or content id by carrier pigeon it might take a bit but it's coming i hope you have a stoop

anyways what else is going on i need to be able to like it would be it wouldn't be great to be able to talk to a human about that because all the humans i've been able to talk to go oh maybe it's like uh that's the whole conversation maybe it's like serving um when you serve somebody what's it called summons mm-hmm if you shoot the pigeon before it lands on your stoop doesn't count never got the message that's right maybe maybe the video stays up if you could shoot that bird in flight never got here i don't know what happened i don't know what you're talking about man what are you talking about fuck off just the fucking atlas bird is pull um anyways so the other thing happening

what a bunch of assholes is uh we got some details on the xx hey walls i'm gonna tell you right now i'll be real i think it's the first time i've done this on the cast of beast i got about a half an hour left in me i'm like sweating and falling asleep okay that's fine that's fine we'll do it we'll do it um um you know my calculations are correct we're not going to hit five hours with with with that so that's good that's perfect all right but tell me about the sex bone the sex box has an announcement of what you can expect from the next generation of gaming by phil spencer head of xbox which shows

you the big graphic with the box and the tail well tariff lops and the variable rate shading and the hardware accelerator for direct x-ray tracing and smart delivery quick resume quicker zoom for multiple games but smart delivery what is smart delivery i have no idea smart delivery as described as yadda yadda yadda um when you buy a version of a game you get the version for whatever xbox you're playing on you purchase it once and you get to use whatever updated or possible other versions exist when you have those things cool so the hand in hand announcement with that was a cyberpunk 2077 tweet which says gamers should never be forced to purchase the same game twice or pay for upgrades

owners of cyberpunk 2077 for the xbox one will receive the xbox sex upgrade for free when available great fantastic they have they have moved from xbox as a box to xbox as a service and now the box is literally just the your pc yeah so it's your xbox account and your pc box so we're making the commitment to use smart delivery on all of our exclusive titles including halo infinite ensuring you only have to purchase one title once in order to play the best available version for whatever console you choose to play it on it's available for all developers and publishers and they can choose to use it for titles to release on xbox one or the xx later uh yeah so versioning versioning uh across purchases uh one purchase multiple versions is how they're

going to do that so yeah there you go um that's a cool uh it's you know in a world of backwards compatibility it it obviously kind of sometimes feels like it would mean less because if it's like oh well that version was just available for download anyway then blah but if there is in fact a separate version that has differences or like a massive uh performance upgrade then uh yeah you definitely want to be able to grab that on either one would have been cool to be like yo i own the wee version of breath of not breath of the of twilight princess let's check out what it's like on a gamecube controller that'd be really nice wouldn't it so yeah uh that's what's going on there um then we got it's a little there's a minor minor detail here but uh you know it's a small

thing small thing final fantasy seven remake will seemingly be 100 gigabytes yeah that's cool i'm unshocked um as somebody who is uh we don't have the photo anymore well that sucks as someone who is increasingly sensitive towards uh sizes of games as i delete and install new ones constantly on my playstation 4 yeah as let's plays come and go holy fuck yeah that's a big one is that a whopper that's a whopper uh i'm also sensitive to the fact that like as as um different say fighting games come and go like fucking street fighter after all updates was somewhere in the 45 to 50 range yeah meanwhile that's about right and then like uh tech n and and um uh mortal combat just these big honka honka big ass giggers oh i've got games

are like 150 on my shit and then fucking guilty year comes along and it's like yeah four gigs yeah well dragon ball is like seven textures man you know it's all textures and like every uh ark assist game is just like infinitely tiny compared to the others out there dragon ball guilty gear blah blah like all these games are just someone and it's like god like fuck it's all textures 100 gigs yeah i don't know about you but i'm still i didn't get a pro i'm still using my normal places yeah you're insane up until space issues it hasn't been an issue yeah i suppose so i appreciate good compression uh here's a fun random little thing going on but hashtag jet set sona uh is a little bit of a movement going down if you art thing right yeah if you see people with

their um profile picture uh with a red with a white x over a red um version of the picture like mine is on twitter right now for example it's just to promote uh this campaign by uh cano not and too mellow making some funky beats but essentially it's basically just like hey sega please make new jet set radio um it is like a fan put together campaign push type thing where it's like hashtag jet set sona uh you can show off your jet set radio ocs i'm sure the persona team really appreciates this digital media push and uh it's pretty interesting timing because i've been seeing a lot of like jet set radio like merch going up on for sale on the sega store so like they they're making shit that they know people want to buy here but yeah fun little video where they

kind of like create an alt world where ro kaku is dead and there's uh the ggs aren't around anymore and there's some kind of new character designs and fun stuff just kind of like going like here's our oc stuff you know um really cool presentation awesome ass track by too mellow who is confidently rapping yes confidently rapping he's doing his thing and uh you know ultimately it's just like yo jet set radio needs to come back so this is to help promote that so i'm uh promoting this to promote that if you would like to know more or just want to check out some cool uh jet set radio fan shit you can just go to hashtag jet set sona on twitter just don't do memes yeah let's hate that this is sega yeah you're right

uh you see that fucking mega 64 band by hedeck hedecky kimia by funny funny games you should you guys should go check that out uh it's a good video good ass video it's pretty straightforward and they retweeted a uh uh vandal dot espanol dot com noticia for hedecky kimia showing up in a mega 64 video they went to japan recently and they talked about all the stuff they did and like some of the podcast and shit there's a really goofy bit in that video where they're in uh sotenbori and they fucking run at some japanese people and scared the shit out of them yeah so you know um creating a public nuisance in japan these days as loud boisterous westerners kind of depreciated kind of depreciated you know uh the milks might have

been spoiled that's true milk might have been spoiled man night pandas was a shit though you remember night pandas no it's a jackass bit okay they dress up as pandas and start fucking trash and shit okay okay well in any case yeah it it kind of like it sucks to think that now there's just a little bit of like ah you know but uh but um god damn it they did continue to do the things that we could never dream of which is uh exert a mega 64 influence over the industry and while i was able to stand outside the shinumeta building and freak out at seeing the platinum sign uh they got in there and they got kimia in a video i wonder if they touched his bald head i think they would have recorded it if they did i would want to and they got him to participate and they got him to

commit to the bit and uh while they didn't ask much of him what they got him to do was pretty was pretty great it's pretty funny so uh do check out the fucking gods mega 64 forever jealous of how funny these guys are god damn it they started it all they started it and at this point i love the the meta idea of like haha i'm dead i'm dressed up in bayonetta and i'm just up was wonder red and we're just doing our own stupid shit that we do whatever man and they're making a mini dumb meta version of a video they really would have made like 20 years ago it's really goofy just rolling around on the ground there's layers man yeah just layers good shit it's good shit so appreciate that fun podcast too yeah the mega 64 podcast never listen to it i don't listen to a podcast anymore

it's it's a fun it'll never be as good as our podcast every once in a while we have the best podcast they have they have production see they have a soundboard and they click they have like effects that kick in and out like the car crash we talked about earlier yeah but do they have all of this they every time there's a piece of news pertaining to the joker they have a joker alert and it's just this is this joker alert whether it's wakin or heath or whatever is going on with the damaged you know joker alerts that's great it's fucking solid all right last piece of news here tribe nine is um from two q games basically a lot of dang and romper had baseball you saw yes foxcade tweeted this out uh shout out to the foxcade essentially uh tribe nine you can

it's a concept trailer for an idea where you're looking at a dang and romper ass future uh crazy cyber anime baseball situation and it's rad a shit uh because some cool ass character designs are showing up and we got a cool pitcher with cool hair tossing a cool ball and then someone on a motorcycle pulls out an engine powered bat and fucking knocks that shit into the stratosphere and then it turns the the fastball turns into a missile and then uh they get on their motorcycle and drive to the bases as the ball breaks through buildings to uh fly to whatever cool person has to catch it on the other end who we get to see in the trailer it's nuts it's fucking crazy and um i don't know what genre of game one would hope it would be as straightforward

as a baseball game it's not gonna be i know it's gonna be baseball crime and and solving mysteries too much it's too conceptually cool for it to ever actually just be a baseball game but dear god how much fun it would be because i we were talking recently about how the crossover appeal needs to exist and i'm just kind of like i want there to be things that i otherwise wouldn't be interested in that are video games the fuck out i want a curling anime game yes i want to know what the deal with curling is and i want to be excited me and a couple friends back in the day wrote a fucking curling manga pilot i never wanted to be a werewolf and fuck a rabbit person or a deer but here i am but um please bring me racing games that have nothing to do with racing simulation yeah bring

me sports games that have nothing to do with sports i hope i hope at the very minimum while there's going to be dead bodies and discoveries to make uh that there will be at least a mini mini game that allows me to play some insane neotokyo baseball and that's the news that's the news couple of letters hey willy let me ask you a question would you fuck louis or would you let louis fuck you i need more i mean if you want there's a lot more yeah i need more information one uh one shot of a deer in a turtleneck is not enough information

uh let's go with josh over here if you have an email you can send it to castle super beast mail at gmail.com and oh i can do this now i like this i like this put my foot up you know like that's what the chair could always do right you could always have done that it's not new it rotates it leans back oh it moves for comfort i thought you meant this is like a secret lazy boy no okay no okay well uh anyway uh josh says hey guys i was thinking about the nature of favorite movies i've consciously made a choice to watch donnie darko at least 23 different times but i fell asleep at some point every single time i attempted to watch it that means that movie sucks i deserve whatever attention that got so my conundrum is uh i've i've made the decision to

watch donnie darko all those times many more times than any other movie i've seen should that make it a contender for my favorite movie no despite me never actually remaining conscious throughout the remainder of no in fact it's disqualified thanks for the input sincerely a fully functional galaga cabinet with a suspiciously dick shaped joystick that's remarkably specific very is it a penis suspiciously that's a terrible question to ever have to ask i think is that a penis oh that question i thought like going about your daily life right you look over is that is that a penis um so here's i i i the premise i want to ask that to quote no i don't either i want to either no or not yeah definitively yeah yes that's uh that's one of the few certainties in life that we

need at all times i remember being a young man at the olympic stadium getting changed to go to the pool or whatever and those old guys that use the pool were there and they were just hanging out with their fucking old man dicks out i'm like i hate this i hate this a lot what if what if stand power to ask only that question and you always get a definitive yes yes yes yes yes or no no no then i would live in a in a in a in a more concrete world okay well um uh what the fuck i'm sorry i just hate looking at old man's penis yeah that's kind of the problem is that's where my brain yeah was see you're seeing it now and it's like rankle and droopy and

you're like no no bad bad well anyway um i'm sure there's probably a song name out there that makes reference to old dicks that you can use as a stand name yeah okay well uh to answer the question you said no i'm gonna challenge and say this right like um you might be somebody that i like this person might literally we're not getting enough information because it's like you might have narcolepsy for all we know it's possible right also is this my favorite movie if you have to ask the answers no that's super weird because the it's like okay well do you love it more than every other movie if the answer is yes then yeah it's your favorite movie if the answer is no then it's not it's like if you're with somebody and you're like do i love this person legit question the

answer is no bitch love is true and powerful and fills your heart and soul i i just you know it's one of those things where if it's if at no point in this did you say i really really love the movie you just said you watched it a lot of times and fell asleep you never qualified what you think of it yeah so if you think very highly of the movie in fact higher than every other movie but you happen to fall asleep during it and you think that falling asleep disqualifies that then uh no this can be your favorite movie that you happen to fall asleep during uh if you don't think very highly of it but you've tried to watch it that many times in order to get through it without falling asleep then the answer is no but only you know that we don't really have a lot of useful information that's

pretty much it so there you go um next let's take a quick one over here uh from uh matt says hey dear yas are there any remakes you don't think you'll ever touch while i'm excited to play re3 make i have no inclination to play re2 make just because of how awesome the first one was i prefer to other to play other games in its place since its time is limited are there any remade games you don't think you'll ever touch whether this year or never if it's anything that i think is cool i'll take a look i don't see why not i i'm the kind of person that my curiosity would always get the better of me yeah i don't think i don't like to not only that but like if what you love exists then it exists yeah you're not going to you know like you're not going to ruin that with more data in that case

and like i don't know to me it's like if it's a bad remake then it's a bad remake right persona three is fucking great the answer is fucking terrible uh i played both and i can say the personas three is great and now i can tell people oh by the way you don't need to worry about the answer yeah just don't worry about it's not even there you know um i don't if there's ever a remake of something i'm curious about then like yeah i don't i think that's you know that's a premise that kind of implies that you're like your your your original memory will get ruined which why would don't don't let just don't let it ruin your memory like that game still exists man it's still it's still there yeah unless it's been removed from the story you can no longer that's true

then you'll have to find some other way to play it uh by the way off topic uh for everybody who's sad about the silent hill hd re-releases being a pile of shit you can go check out the silent hill two enhanced edition which patches up and dramatically improves the pc port of the game uh to be a real hd re-release now you need the original version of silent hill two on the pc to play that which you could get from ebay or otherwise you'll have to figure that out for yourself but that's the silent hill two enhanced edition it's really good so silent hill two reforged uh but at no but good but good but good so not reforged yeah okay because there is a reforged version there is it was the pre-forged pre-forged

because they were using an old version of the fucking game uh wasn't that crazy uh okay we got one coming in here uh christopher says dear woolly in the gremlin hey man i'm gremlin big tabletop nerd someone who actually likes dragon lines i become more powerful the more anyone remembers those books in the setting apparently uh i'm one of the shocking few who's actually seen and like tasselhoff and the kender found out years after reading the books that one of the rpg setting guides purposely advertises kenders as being childlike tricksters that everyone loves and forgives in a blatant attempt to make them more appealing to potential players directly uh contradicts how they're treated in the actual stories which are basically halflings who don't

understand fear and are psychologically incapable of understanding the concept of personal property that's about right as well as glossing over them even lying about that fact uh that most people in the setting actively hate them and sometimes even ban them from entire cities that's true as a result a lot of people apparently played them as straight regular thieves intentionally used them to destabilize someone's game and the misleading advertisement meant that everyone thought they were supposed to be treated like lovable scamps instead of nuisances which led to a lot of people seemingly actively hating them ironically or for the same reason the people in the setting do which is not which while not understanding they're meant to be treated like that in the first place

it's kind of hilarious because in the dragonland books you have people get fucking pissed all the time so tazzle off the characters in the world and the people playing the characters in real life both feel the same way yeah like i remember flint would get fucking mad super fucking pissed like every couple of pages yeah be like stop stealing my fucking shit you little bastard but they're like a buddy cop movie yeah but then like he might actually take his life yeah and then they kiss potential fun and character dynamics of having a well-meaning trickster race that's disliked for obvious reasons was stimmed by the writers trying way too hard to sell everyone on them and basically demanding that everyone in the game love them by default so that would explain

some of the hatred i didn't know existed yeah because i thought tassel hoff was a like fun it's not from the dragonlands community because that doesn't exist and isn't real it's from the dnd community um and again we readjust this when we talked about the halfling shit but anyway the question for you two then is is there any specific or interesting examples you can think of uh where a writer purposely advertised the character or concept in a misleading way and then had it backfire when if they were just honest uh people would have liked the idea poochie with her stripe stockings and fashionable hat in persona for golden that'd be marie look at this cool new character is she great she's the best oh she's the new final boss oh my god oh uh standing in front of elizabeth my

f-stake like standing in front of elizabeth rocking that blue yeah just like okay well can you just just move to the side a little bit but she got that hat though also somebody in chat pointed out correctly roman reigns oh yeah that's a really good one damn i didn't have any of that oh my god i never really put it together he's the big dog you know who else was a big dog poochie poochie poochie's the biggest dog in space roman had to go back to his home planet yeah it was a hammer set that got cancer oh it was roman it was roman congrats on beating your cancer buddy yeah that's legitimately amazing and you still look fantastic yeah also the fact that everyone behind the scene says he's super good to work with yeah and like just a really it makes me

feel fucking sad as shit the way vince pushed him because then you go the guy is awesome yeah it's a shame he's a good work like this you know what i mean he fucking wrestles but the push yeah you know um finding out way after the fact it's like what an interesting twist on that era of wrestling you know um but yeah i would not i don't have a clear cut that's roman reigns is the ultimate of that answer um the closest thing i can think of and it's not even it's barely related but there's definitely a part where when us like skullgirls first came out uh there was a lot of misunderstanding as to like what the game sort of was i think and i think a lot of people just didn't even check it out that would have loved it if they gave it a shot i was one of those people you were one of those

people and then big band happened and i was like all right then the dog star press showed up yeah but uh yeah roman's definitely the top of the the fucking list on that one okay um and let's take a last one here from austin who says they're william pat i'm not clever i recently purchased mario excuse me metro redux bundle from fanatical noticed that it was offering me the option to pay two additional dollars and have two mystery game keys added to my purchase oh that's fascinating being the idiot i am i decided to accept the offer and went to check what the mystery games were turns out leisure suit larry six and a game called curse eye of the isis i've never heard of immediately regretted the purchase and chose i don't know loading those up and fucking around

with them is totally worth two dollars to me if you are able to do so on a stream in front of people no i i i grab random shit off stream for five bucks and just fuck with it wow okay because obviously the question goes have we done this and my answer is never oh all the time i never buy a mystery coat i have enough i bought mystery games dude like i have enough mystery mystery games no i have enough games that i know about that i want to play yeah that are still overflowing i find a lot of value in like picking up some bullshit at random for like two three four five dollars and being like the fuck is this yeah because every now and then like one out of 20 times you're like oh sick you know like it's just legitimately crazy but if it's if the answer is

oh sick wouldn't you already own it no a lot of games don't get coverage or press or any notability at all i mean okay to be fair if i did this and i got leisure suit larry six i would have busted my ass laughing that's all you would have busted yeah at how good that is no six didn't really i don't know man i don't remember each particular one now i think seven was love for sale i don't know second anyway um what a fucking relic yeah but uh but uh you know i i don't ultimately like i would have that would have been a fucking hilarious one to roll the dice on but personally in my history i've never bought a game as a mystery code and just like did it because like i said i already have a stack of shit i recognize that i don't have time for

yeah man we're hey man if we don't do it who will yeah man i got it to leisure suit larry because i had the first the pc we our first computer we ever bought uh we had three it pre-installed because the person who had the computer left a bunch of lucasart's point of clicks there you go so we had leisure suit larry three we had laura bow we had police quests and the indy games so i got introduced through that and then we're like oh oh this game features some not christian values it does not hmm it very much does not and then part seven came out and then it had a button called the boss button it was the automatic automatic uh minimize and opening of solitaire that's so good where you're like god damn this is why you plan solitaire man oh you're right i'll get back to

work yep all right well that's it for us this week i hope you all tune in next week on monday and or download it from your favorite podcast application in addition to checking out woolly over at twitch.tv slash woolly verses and youtube.com slash woolly verses and me pat over at twitch.tv slash pat stairs at and you know what let's do something a little different right before we close this out what's that uh let if you if you enjoy this podcast tell a friend about it tell a friend how about that that's the first time i've ever asked anyone to do anything why would you do that today is the podcast dying last legs bro oh man well you are so technically i'm i'm in that thing where my blood if you're dying then yeah actually that's not a oh man this would be a super good

podcast just just prop up an effigy of me get a soundboard ready i believe in you you mean we can super do that easily there's a website you feed it videos and it creates the board fantastic good to know so i'm trying to wreck everything i touch crush it in my clutch no respect for no act but again in my city give back i'm looking hate capital speaking integrity and working radical elemental down the basic functions my honor keeping this like tungsten conducting experiments and hundreds on my territory is the west side no a horror story your most muscle is mandatory to

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