Castle Super Beast - CSB 062: Pizza-ghetti Probably Cannot Hurt You

Episode Date: March 31, 2020

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It's に Baby It's a Delivery man decided to wake me up at 9 a.m. Which is exactly what I wanted. Thanks delivery man 9 a.m. Is I will say about when they start so you know that's optimal. Yeah, you want your shit at the beginning of the day Yeah, and it's like All jokes aside I have to I have to give a shout out to the delivery people in my neighborhood who went from Widely incompetent and not giving a fuck To being dead on dead ass early in the morning Drop the package run away. No delivery hassle. Don't drive by my street and pretend doesn't exist shit

Mm-hmm like those those people have been fucking killing it lately that drops are great I only got one so far, but the The the the guy who did it just you know rang it dropped it on the ground You know I opened it. It was on the ground. I Picked it up and then what was not and then I got I pick it up And then I look around and he's far away and he's looking back and he's far He's far away, and he's looking back, and he's just like hey with the hand up, and I'm like yeah Yeah, man, you go

I usually hit the door before they leave, and we always engage in this yeah It is a weird new ritual that everyone's doing which is guy at your door sees you hey one hand up Hey, yeah, no way just and then you give like a little thumbs up We go and it goes okay, and then they give a thumbs up, and they fucking run away from you Yeah, they do, but I definitely don't I Don't find it with that weird at all. I think it's it's great I like I like that the pickup and the single look and the just the yeah, I'm over here now

You know I hope when things slowly slide back to normal But this becomes a permanent option right pick on every shipping option. Yeah, exactly because you just you'll get items like you'll you order from you ordered a Fucking like a let's say a video card from new egg right new egg labels all their shit Do not safe drop which means somebody has to fucking be there right and I guess that makes sense because that's expensive electronics equipment Everything else anything that's under $500

I'd rather someone steal it and for me to file a refund complaint with Amazon then They have to go somewhere to get it I Want there to be so you go on to the you go on and you go to order and it's like two-day shipping one-day shipping or Corona style And you just go alright hit me up with that COVID-19 style delivery Well, depending on how how poorly this goes that may either be hilarious or in poor taste in the future Well either way if you're talking if you're talking permanent fixtures

COVID style might Would make me happy on the reg I'll say that much There's a quote for you everybody There you go. Oh, I just got actually a piece of news like real news So some breaking breaking Yeah, for our particular case in fact The premier has closed down

Everything on Sundays. Yeah. Yeah, for sure except for pharmacies gas station convenience stores and takeout for sure All right, yeah, anytime there's an announcement about like this is now closed. I'm like, yeah, of course whatever like Excuse me, like why is it not it's closed? Why was it open is my answer? Well, yeah, we're down to pharmacies gas stations and grocery stores and anything you want delivery wise Yeah, you know delivery people are having a fucking Butter, what's it called? It's a good crop of butter To it's good delivery work. There's a lot of work for delivery. Yeah, there is and held it because there's a lot of risk So those are heroes. Yeah, what do you want to say grocery stores around here?

Basically giving up on like in person and they're just going all delivery How does it that makes sense, you know, you can technically say that You were one of the you're a former first responder on the front lines Bagging groceries is now a virtue. All right. It's now an important job that you could oh, I wouldn't have gone to work. Oh Fuck but you can put on your resume. Hey, I Was a grocery bagger and everyone's like I was essential service 88 years as a as a central service personnel. Look at you, right? It's the same as saying that you worked down at ladder 14 with the boys

On the on the fire truck. It's the same thing and it's the same thing That's at this point So it's pretty funny because usually I'm the person on this podcast just yelling at the top my lungs It's the same thing I'm not I'm not I'm gonna back off from this from this one Well, you know, I'm gonna coward out on that coward out until you get all that What do you what do you call it like a grocery bagger groupie?

What I what I what I will go for is that will you and I are in the most essential service, which is why we haven't stopped working and that is The uplifting of hearts and minds through entertainment and quality comedy I could I could hear The the energy leaving you as you went through that or at the very least your own belief in yourself There's there's no more essential service than fighting boredom Well, the people are here aren't they Yeah

Anyone who could hear me say that proved me right idiots Except for the quality part except for the yeah, okay fine fine It's a original podcast we ever did was this is gonna be terrible right? That's the one I Don't think anyone's gonna fight that So how's how's your well I let me let me let me let me let me start start this way Let's start a different way. Okay, let's do this It's been going around again, and every time it pops up. I'm just like how many times do we have to tell these people that? Pizzagetti is a real thing. Oh

Man, it's not it's not going around for you around again, and it's like like it's local area No, no someone took a picture of it and made a tweet and went what is this and it's like Pizzagetti is a local Montreal fucking abomination is what it is. It's here. It's a normal. It's a thing It's what we do and like we've talked about it at least three times Yeah, every time we go down to the fucking green stop of my parents my mom gets a fucking Pizzagetti And I go mom that's fucking horrible if you missed it the last three times Pizzagetti is a thing on their menus here in Quebec. It's pizza. It's a spaghetti. It's a Pizzagetti It's lit. It's just a fucking slop a pizza of

Spaghetti just slapped onto a single slice of pizza. No, no, no, no, no, no It is it is it is the end that the confusion was always like between what is it a spaghetti Flavored pizza and it's like no, it's not it is a slice of pizza and a second slice of pizza It's two slices and then in between them on the plate is You know a half serving of spaghetti and meatballs. So you you put your spaghetti in the mid You put you you can look at photos of those It's not that hard. There's a photo the photo in the tweet is there with the two slices Yeah, they that way they did it they did it half and half

So half the plate was a two was two slices on a personal pan and then the other half is just a drop But either way it's like two slices of pizza and then in the middle you drop a spaghetti not on the pizza It's like you're I'll see the everyone's confused because they're like they're thinking that you're supposed to eat it at the same time And I've seen like various variations of this. I've seen it apart. I've seen it in between I have seen it in a sandwich form You do not eat them at the same time. You do not eat the spaghetti on the pizza slice It is simply a serving of a half serving of pizza and then the other half is you've got two slices Listen, listen, I'm serving a spaghetti. It's it's not really important because pizza. Get it is fucking terrible

It's total trash baguette and saw It's total garbage But it's fine. I've never ordered it. It's it's not yeah. Yeah, exactly It's fine ordered it. It's just them. I've had some they don't mix. It's not a good textural experience They have someone's in the mood It's it's almost a kids meal thing except it's not a kids meal, right? What it's almost like two simple things that kids like that are safe, you know, I like spaghetti I like pizza. I like chicken wings. I'm a I'm a four-year-old and

It's like it's just you putting two of those items together on the same plate Why don't we just take all of our food and just put it into a blender and have once one Paste well now for all time. Well now that's gross, but is it but that's more efficient That's it. You know, it's just it's just two kids meals items on the same plate and everyone can't handle it And I think it's like it's weird. It was weird at first, but then it's like whatever I don't know. I also grew up with it and it's just it's around. It's a thing on the menu It is what it is. Just don't eat them to you know was like, yeah, I mean Does anyone take their mashed potatoes and spread it on top of their steak and then eat them together

I've see it's funny because I grew up in a household. That's horrifying. That's really I grew up in it I grew up in a household in which I Was the okay get ready for this. I was the normal one in terms of food Yeah, so I would be like I'd be a little picky or I'd like I really don't like this sauce or whatever The fuck but pretty normal my sister was obsessed With eating every possible food as separated as possible Like a sandwich with sacrilege. If there were peas on the plate, they couldn't touch the mashed potatoes Yeah, I know I like my shit separate to especially if there's gravy if there's gravy that's running into the stuff depends

Right sometimes you okay. Sometimes you want the gravy over a lot, but many times you don't and in those cases I agree with that How about taking a piece of blueberry pie and opening up the top of the pie and removing every blueberry before eating it? That's psychotic See, okay, but you're talking about you're one step away from splitting animal throats, you know That's my sister on one end, right? And then there's me who's kind of normal maybe a little picky And then I'm on the other side. There's my brother who Was one of those people that no food was ever good enough as served it always had to be transformed in some way to Ruin the experience for everyone around them

So my brother my sister is like picking things out of food to separate them My brother is that guy who did get like a fucking passion flaky and it's he has to open it up eat all the internal Syrup and cream and shit put it back together and then just snack on the bread or the guy who is turning every plate of food into a sludge just Take the peas every pea has to be in every mashed potato, and then you're just gonna drape the fucking The meat on it and just try and get a mulch every time. It's that's horrifying. That's really it's It's like it you don't know which is worse because like the the brother one with the mulch is like horrible And then you look over at your sister who hasn't even started eating

Because she has to be disassembling the food, right, right and and here and here's the thing. It's just Obviously, there's a there's a happy normal medium in between the the the the the putting the Berlin wall on your plate and And doing full-on Fruit group mixing Yeah You know but here, but but just it's like okay if you're eating so we I just I just mentioned steak and mashed potatoes, right? Yeah Putting spreading your mashed potatoes on top of your steak and then cutting a slice off of it

You're fucking weird stop it stop this you not only are you not only are you weird you're ruining the steak by not Isolating its its bite right just take a bite of the steak and if you're half done with the steak Like maybe you swat a little bit and you want mashed potato in there pick up a mashed potato But and put it your mouth your mouth is the second plate But if some of the the the the the the nice like steak juices and gravies Happen to hit the mash. There's no problem with that I mean, that's just natural of the its existence on the plate and the mash gets a little bit better for it You know, that's fine. The mash gets a little bit of nice flavors for that. That's no problem if you're

Doing I don't know If you're doing a plate with like I guess like I like it that great that same gravy, however I wouldn't want it to hit the broccoli if I you know what I mean if I had broccoli on Broccoli to be steamed in a way steamed in a way or buttery, you know, but not yeah You don't want that same gravy mix gravy on the mash is fine gravy on the bottom on the broccoli And you live but it's it's you know, you want to keep that away so So to me, it's like it depends on what what you're separating something should be further away than others

Some things need to be kept pure and other things can be as as intermingled as they want to be I just don't just think about it like if you would pour would you take up? You know, you know, and like your your your mom has like the extra gravy on the in the little gravy server Mm-hmm. Would you take that and pour it over the mash? Sure you would Yeah, I'm personally not big on gravies this kind of falls apart, but no you would okay a lot of people I know would I would I don't find that to be offensive That's just don't particularly care for extra gravy. It's pretty tasty Would you take that same thing and pour it over the over the greens?

Nah, you wouldn't No, you don't want it. You don't want meat flavor on your greens, right? So it's not that crazy. You want your greens to be all clean and green and buttery If you want to put butter on it you go buttery on it But you but like pouring the pouring the the meat flavor on the on the greens is a little bit like I don't know about that I wouldn't do it anyway So fucking psychos in the chat today completely completely so fucking crazy. Don't look at them

Do not pay attention to them. I can't do not give a baby freak. Do not give them the time of day You know Don't shake their hand. Do not actually do you know I just nobody shake anybody's hand Do not talk about five-hour bits that have gone way too fucking weird now Fucking block of players have been ahead of the curve By creating a situation in which you would never want to shake their hand in the first place Yeah, no somewhere in a somewhere around the time that I saw a thread that was like has the five-hour bit gone too far It's like, okay. Well now it has what the fuck. Oh, yeah

I feel that whether or not a bit has gone too far obviously makes it go to like are you we're having a Serious thread to do oh my god. All right everyone, you know putting everyone so after we were done I put it into into emote only mode just for funsies and I was I was having a law with it It's like it was so rude of him to put it into emote only All right. Yeah, right. Hey, it's hey man folks Hey anything you anything you do but create content have fun rude We're trying to have fun if I fucking if I have eat eat a dinner in my mouth in front of y'all That's rude. Okay, that I fucking agree with though if I if I tend my garden and in

And what am I animal crossing flowers during the thing? That's rude pat If I remember that one look at it when I thought it would be an fiction member when I thought it would be nice to record a podcast outside. Oh Man that was my favorite. I remember how you reacted to that. I Was like this is terrible. I so that's you chewing food into the microphone. No The food stops outside never stops in any case You can't stop outside in any case. We've been trying and outside is taking some ground back Yeah, I think I think

Personally, I think it could be Done better if it was like in a tent or like it was in some sort of wind block Anything to break the wind break wind breaking right because the sound of the ambient sound of outside is nice But the wind in birds and but the wind in the mic is the problem So if you can solve that problem, then you're good to go, but hey The record the outside world is but a distant memory We don't need to talk about that anymore. I have not been outside of the house in any context in like 27 28 days

And how's that going? I Got this cat Luckily I have this cat to keep me from going crazy How are you getting food? You know Willie? Are you doing it? There's but you're not even for a grocery run No, okay There's there's no reason to go outside to get groceries have the grocery man bring you your groceries Yeah, and then scare them away. It's gotten pretty shoe them That's of course pretty nutty on the delivery times and stuff on that, but yeah

Hey, I hope everyone's refreshing the times so that you can get that delivery window in the 10 seconds it exists That's about correct. Yeah, well anyway, but yeah, no no outside outside bad Stay inside cat good Pizza getty is real. There's no yeah, it's real. There's no reason to panic Pizza getty real outside bad cat good Pizza getty cannot hurt you Can it cannot I have totally seen someone choke eating a pizza getty who can choke eating anything Pizza getty. Yes, it's a getty cannot hurt you

Be on the way can hurt you beyond the standard ways that food can hurt you sure But there is no oh, yeah, so it's not gonna like physically appear There is nothing extra menacing about a plate of pizza spaghetti Other than the idea that you would have to eat it You know All right, I fucking hate pizza getty so that whenever whenever I mention it and somebody doesn't know what it is I'm like. Ah, yeah, this is good. I just good to me to me. It's just it's an it's it's it is What's the word I'm looking for not uncouth offensive. It's in offensive. It's unexpected

It's unexpected and in offensive, right? It's a little irreverent a little irreverent It's definitely irreverent like we are here in Quebec But you know it but hey guess what? There's a lot of meals that when I heard this and that together I went what and then it was like, oh, yeah, I guess that's fine, right? I remember hey the first time I heard about chicken and waffles I was like that doesn't make any sense a waffle. That's a little odd A waffle is a breakfast item and chicken is like, you know just chicken

And then why would you want the like waffle toppings to hit the the chicken toppings turns out that was super delicious, right? But until you learn that until someone sits down and has it your brain is gonna go lat might not what's that about, you know It's very don't like it, right? And then it's and then you gotta you gotta be pleasantly surprised You gotta be pleasantly surprised by it. Yeah, you gotta you gotta reintegrate Yeah, the like, you know the the the mental picture of like is you I remember being a kid And I see a picture of broccoli and about you broccoli, right? Yeah, now I'm older my taste buds are a little different Give me give me good steamed broccoli. That's delicious. Yeah, I have a different mental picture now Of course if you were raised in you know, the south and you have a big black southern American family

You have a very different experience from a northern Jamaican Canadian Canadian family so those who yes can't tell the difference need to recognize there is one but When we're talking about like mixing of foods like that the other thing that comes to mind is I remember when there was Fondue right as an introduced thing to me where I was like, oh, yeah, okay. That sounds cool And then I didn't realize that I my fondue ideas were always the cheese based stuff That's what I knew it. Yeah, so when it's like not chocolate fondue with fruits. I was like what?

Yes, it totally is but when I first heard about it. I was like, what are you? Why would you do that? chocolates chocolate and I mean you like chocolate you like fruit flavored things, but Just a raw fruit dipped in chocolate. That sounds but that is a sound well Yeah, because they use they use they use a fucking darker chocolate that was offset by the fruits Fruitiness it was very surprising to me that I was like, oh these two things together doesn't make sense And then it turns out it was totally fine, you know And you can you go through life and there's a bunch of those things where you combine two things and you go What hell peanut butter and chocolate shouldn't have made sense, but then it did you know peanut

I I still don't think peanut butter and chocolate what mixes as well as peanut butter and banana Peanut butter and banana is just well is right up there. Well, we don't have to make two winners fight each other I mean, yeah, you're right There's no reason to create hostilities here Alternate reality I go fuck you. What are you talking about and then the war starts, right? Yeah, that's right, but Let's be real they're both winners Yeah, they've they very much are But that's so that that's that's pretty much where the thought lines on it

It's just you know you take you take any two simple items and you fucking throw them together on the plate There was something there was another one that came to mind. Oh, yeah, people are using like Like there's doing you can there's like plates where you can buy and like French toast with burgers and things like that There's like what or unlike are like grilled cheese with burgers and things like that And you kind of like make a burger, but except it's using grilled cheese to make the patties It's done see people do it. I haven't had it people a a People do a lot of things people dip their their fries from Wendy's into their ice cream Whatever you call those the the the frosty frosties people put bacon in their ice cream. I

Don't think the phrase. Yeah, people have done it could ever justify anything less I think that everything that could probably have ever been done ever in the history of anything has been done Okay, so fries in the frosty Baking in the ice cream, right? They can the ice creams too far super weird Super duper weird way too far. Here's what's up both of those things delicious I Said people to see the reaction I

Said people to see it cuz I well my friend was like not try it and I was like, oh wow Oh, okay, I get it fucking you are a fucking food criminal. I get it I don't I'm not going to do it to my shit, but my friend was like not just try it and I tried and I was like, yeah I get it. I take this is how heroin addicts start talking with the fuck you talking about so, you know I wouldn't cook it myself But if my buddy's got a fucking line, yeah, I'll take I'll take it. It's it's one It's again You just you go that makes no sense and then you taste it and you go oh this makes sense and it's because it's salty and sweet, right?

similarly similarly Like there's God was it when you do the the mix of like a trail mix, but they do like Reese's they have like candy the Reese's Peanut the pieces they have the mini cups, but then they have pretzels mixed in and you go pretzels Mixed in. Oh, no, see that makes perfect sense. Then you eat it and it's salty and sweet at the same time and it's nice Yeah, and it works

There's floats ice cream inside of a soda. What are you doing? Why would that make sense? Those are those are both sweet. Yeah, those are both sweet But I'm just I'm just going off going back into the realm of like mixing two things that seem like they wouldn't make sense And then you go. Oh, whoa. How about that? What about rotten Swedish fish well the moment. Yeah, all right. What what what about it? What about those two great flavors that taste great together? Yeah, so oh It's a shark right? It's a fucking shark Let's just fucking let's just fucking

Dig this hole and put this fucking shark in a ground for eight months and just eat it and throw up all over each other's Fucking hide a culture here Take that Swedish I don't even know I don't even is it fucking the Finns who the fuck is it? Do I need to bring up pineapple pizza, I don't think I should yeah, it's great Canadian invention you're welcome, but you're well, but Does it make it wouldn't make sense until you tried it? There's a lot of food out there

There's a lot of food out there that doesn't make sense until you try it and all of the things I've mentioned Fit into those categories, so I've gone for that. I'm not familiar with is gross So that should be there we go right so to bring it back full circle The reason why we go on this giant tangent is because every time I use because I used to be somebody that was obviously a Had a restricted diet for religious reasons so be anything that was like a little bit You know mix and matchy and shit that was like not great was not only a worry, but it was weird and no I don't want that that's not what was it was it pretty much a kosher diet or what it's pretty much a kosher diet Yeah, we would to strict to simplify it doesn't have to be kosher

But to simplify like to explain to people if I get out when I get on a plane like we would just say yeah kosher because it would be It'd be simpler Take the five minutes to explain anything right to pull out the verse that says what's what cloven hooves no, okay? Well, you know fish of the sea no cloven hooves period gotta have gotta have fish with gotta have scales No scales no eat like yeah, whatever to go through all of that. It just go. Yeah, just go. Yeah kosher kosher keep it kosher Right, although. I doesn't really I don't really care about you if you how you slit it the throat or bless it You know doesn't matter if you're on the the conveyor belt blessing doesn't really matter as much But all that to say bless it man all that to say slaughterhouse and the avatar and all that shit

So, you know that that's how I would go But but as a result I used to be very much like why would you put these two foods together stop it and I'm now I've opened my eyes to the amount of times I've been surprised with two things that shouldn't make sense tasting fine and all I wish to say is to those of you who stand here and Agree with all the other things I listed and go. Oh, yeah, those things are good. I assure you Pizza gettys just pizza and spaghetti. It's not I'm so glad that I started on the food separation like side of things Already so I have the firm moral standing to tell people to stop mixing foods in general. I'm against food mixing. I Don't think it's appropriate. I

Don't know how explain to the kids It's letting you isolate that as much as possible Yeah, I know thanks. I appreciate it. I started that same place, too How am I gonna explain pineapple pizza to my son? This is terrible. Oh My god, the moral who would do this Canadians Canadians started doing oh my goodness that place is going to hell Sure is

Back in my day The pineapple was outside back in my day Buy it back in my day the pineapple was subservient to the pizza Now it's weird you just have a whole shaved pineapple with like pepperonis on it. It's I think it's gone too far Hmm should have never went down to those lands and brought the pineapples back should have kept the pizzas pure Well pizzas a fucking abomination anyway, right like Italian pizzas like a completely different Italian pizzas a completely different thing So yeah, what it what it's already shit. It's already thought shit. We do is beyond fucked exactly So holding to these ideals of purity when when the purity example you're giving is already a fucking

bastardization of the original source from the original now you gotta stay pure man You gotta stay pure it's important. It's like the source of the place that you came from that The pizza that you came from and the pizza and that pizza's father and that pizza's father We're never pure to begin with so what the fuck no, do you have to stand on pizza? No, don't tell me that Mike skip back pizza. It's not the realest pizza of all I Hate that shit. I feel like that chain fucking ruined me on pizza because my parents loved it and every time I was like

Oh, it's too much fucking mozzarella on his shit 14 words shit We need to secure a land for our pizza and all future pizzas Of our plain cheese flavor Something something oh, that's it I would rather if there was a single topping I could delete off the planet. It would be pepperoni It would it would be just get it get it out. I don't get it gone. Don't delete it. Don't delete it Just d rank it. I just want it d rank. It's too high on the leaderboard I don't mind that it's on the board and I don't even mind that it's in the top ten

I just want it d ranked. I just want it to not be number one every time. That's so that's the only thing That's the only thing but sometimes I learned it sometimes I'm in the mood for it when I want a really salty slice But sometimes I don't want a salty slice, you know most of the time fucking I prefer grew up Hating pizza because pepperoni. Yeah Interesting. Oh, just guess what just like cuz I dodged pepperoni for most of my life Oh lucky for every single fucking piece of pizza that I had from like age zero to like fucking 16 yeah was hey, we're getting everybody a pizza What does everybody want and like the four dumbasses that are pickier than me and won't eat shit go

It's like fuck Every time I grew up every fucking lowest common denominator pizza basic bitch choices, you know, I grew up obviously eating more beef and and chicken slices But yeah, right and that's what it is, right? But here's the thing at a certain point obviously I was able to open up those flavors and when I opened up those flavors Here's what I discovered two things one If you want to go with your pig

bacon is Really nice. It's all right. Here's the other thing Italian sausage It's pretty good is is a better pepperoni and it doesn't oh much. It's a oh, it's an upgraded pepperoni Why are we still rocking the basics? Why are we going pistol? Why are we going pistol and we got a gauze cannon? It's nice and a little subtle compared to pepperoni, which is just searing your fucking tongue with salt. I Don't it like if like the idea that anyone Would taste Italian sausage slices again like a good Italian sausage slice and be like nah, I prefer the pepperoni

It's like you want you want the cheaper tasting meat You want the baloney? You want that fucking mustardy baloney nastiness really what's up with that? Italian sausage is so much better man Who could who could take our opinion seriously? We don't even live in New York. So apparently we don't know anything about pizza right all the pizzas that I've had are pretty trash

Not a fan of pizza in general. I always find people's obsession with it kind of pointless Nah, pizza's good, man Pizza's good. I I will give pizza the the the fucking it's worth fighting over old star we're fighting over re of reheatableness and that it reheats pretty much as As good as it was which is not the case or almost anything you could get in a box Yeah at the at the door so it's gonna stay way more consistent, but on its own

Yeah, if you order bacon on your pizza and they give you bacon bits like salad bacon bits You need to fucking toss that shit That's what now don't toss it. You need to go down there and Write them a surely worded letter go down there and hand them that letter a very and say how dare you I want my slices of Cut bacon. Don't give me no fucking bacon bits Then they will tell you sir. You can't be here right now fight the chef And if you win or you can't if you win then they've got to put use real bacon Remember how they used to be those dog ads where they advertise real bacon. I do those ads still run

Yeah, we just don't watch TV anymore. Yeah Even the dog the dogs are good enough for real bacon the fuck you're gonna sprinkle bits on my shit Okay, you know how much real bacon is in like per gram of dog food? even in that shit Maybe like a tenth of a gram If you have to fucking if if if you're putting bacon in on an ingredient As an ingredient on a pizza and you grab a sprinkler to put it on fuck off Well, why is it so important that's cuz see that's you're trying to hit blade, but it's a hard crunchy completely different thing

Crunchy bacon is terrible. I disagree with that Then the vast majority of bacon I want my horribly over no, I want crunch I don't mind crunchy at all. You're crazy, but I want I want my bacon Seared so that I don't die. You're nuts, dude You don't want it crunchy. That's crazy Man, you know, there's something there's something really interesting. Yeah, if you haven't had good baked bacon That's like nicely cooked but not like crunchy. You know what you're talking about, you know, it's really funny There is nothing

More divisive than food Oh food. Oh, man food opinions. It's are the height of It's it cannot come together and you have to engage in it You have to know there It's both it's both a hundred percent subjective Deeply personal because it's personally subjective on every individual level, but it's also it's not like, you know, I like that movie Why'd you like that movie, right? If Paige gives me a food and the food is good I go, oh, that's really good and she goes

Why is that good cuz it tastes good in my mouth? Yeah, and like that's how like you can you can obfuscate that you can drag That out you can elaborate, but that's really what it comes down to because I like to put it in my tummy. Yeah Mmm Motherfuckers, it's why it's so infuriating when people do like For real ass food crimes, right? Just Just motherfuckers yelling about try this at home food crimes You you can't help but have the internal just like no no Like when you see it, yeah

Here's the other problem is of course the the one bad childhood experience creates a permanent Permanent hatred and aversion to a thing and then that's sure you cannot fight that because you're fighting against Literally the way someone was reared You know, yeah, but then there are other times where you're looking at that Brazilian pizza And you're like I refuse to believe this is cultural I I I Demand yeah Unexplanation for this

motherfuckers continue to To spout shit from me being yelled at for my breakfast choices From from people who run away from normal milk and prefer skim and and and and and and run away from olives and whatever else What the alright? What is normal milk to you, what is the percent? I mean two is you know normal milk the one that the one when you walk up to the aisle. It's the whole aisle It's the most that's that's you know, and and that's the way and I was when I was Yeah, and I remember when I was young tour

There's a moment where I had to go and grab like Had to go grab fucking the the lactancia stuff because I have I had a An early lactose intolerance that I got over, you know, so but even back then it was like no, it was delicious I just would get sick afterwards but Right the idea that it's like. Oh, no only whole or only skim or whatever the hey, you know what no no no Not only whole sorry it was skim is what it was just like what the yeah, you know what woolly Earlier you said that people who think that certain food combinations are okay, but not others are insane yeah

courtesy of Some guy in the chat who posted a another Brazilian pizza for us that I have given to you in discord I Present to you. This is the end time. This is the end variation the of your desired fucking Pizza state the final step on the upgrade chart Just four different pizza quarters One looks like all onions olives thrown everywhere a bunch of smarties on caviar

Well, this is this is a random bunch of strawberries. This is no good This is a there are literally smarties in the middle of this pizza and yeah Just mix just mix sweet and savory together man and it and just and all life Oh, it's all fine and all life dot exe so a Brazilian in the chat said no, that's totally our culture. That is real to which case I demand that Brazil stop I saw the video of the Mayo spread. I Saw the video of the Mayo spread. I think that was actually a type of soft cheese It looked like Mayo and I grew immensely uneasy

I grew very uneasy from that. I demand that you all stop this right now Food food choices man food choices here one thing I one thing that you know, there's a there's all that shit in there Again, if I like I said if I could if I could go back and respond to for breakfast with skim milk We'd we'd be living in a different world Sometimes you got to have skim milk a lot people's doctors like you leave you gotta drink milk You gotta be skim but don't champion in it. Don't champion it like it's delicious and better than regular On a hill and be like, oh, you all need to drink skim milk. It's delicious like no man. It's 2% 3.2 5 is actually too creamy for most time. Well, and here's and here's the thing. Here's another bit, right a

bunch of y'all and a bunch of people up here are not fans of spicy food and Don't appreciate a good-ass spice and that shit is Also infuriating when I'm in the mood for spice and some things is I'm told something spicy and then I eat it and it's mild as fuck And it's just like yeah You weak-ass tongued motherfuckers. Can we get it's funny to get some real spice, please? Like my mom and dad I took him out to a restaurant and like I gave them like the mildest thing on the menu and then my mom's Oh, it's a little spicy and like mom It's not fucking not fucking coward white people

And I'm going down to up your spice game white people is real I remember going to go anchor bar learning the guys and You and I fucking I think you load it up on death sauce and I load it up on suicide sauce and everybody else loaded up on like, you know the one alarm thing like the generic spiciness, yeah, and Everyone's eating their their their chicken wings and they're like, oh, yeah, it's good It's good anchor bar and you and I were in the corner We were at the you were at the head of the table and I was the one right next to it

And we weren't talking and we're just yeah sweat pouring down Yeah, and every now and then we would look at each other and like kind of blanch ago. It's good Yeah, it's like to convince the other one that way. Oh, no, it's yeah It's good spice like it. Do you know how upsetting a dry-ass piece of chicken is? dry Dry-ass chicken you understand how it is it is deeply upsetting I am offended deep deep deep inside and a dry-ass slice of chicken fuck off with that Learn to spice shit it and the fun and that's the fun and that's the thing, you know

Like like like nobody nobody going all spices grow spikes is disgusting. No everyone realizes that they're cowards You're either a coward or you're not there's no there's no spin on whether or not spice is better It's your it's your whether or not I bet I Bet you could do like a math equation on like human suffering over the lifetime of people and how much of that was for spices Like ten percent Because it's there was a lot of bad trips Yeah for spice. Yeah Have you ever have you ever like?

Had something with it with a certain flavor tapped on to it and then you just go Oh, I can never go back to having it without this That's pretty much how I feel about anything that I got us by like a like a heat-based spiced or like a hot sauce I'm that was improved. You can never go back hot sauce. You can never go back Straight up. Um and it makes you feel like an asshole because you go to a place You're like, hey, can I get a spicy chicken and they give you the chicken and you're like, no, I I'll be I'll be an asshole. I literally can't eat this because it's for cowards. I need the spicy one Yes, you can see I'm a huge cracker. Give me the spicy one man

Imagine if the real one imagine the imagine anything you ate that was cinnamon flavored now remove the cinnamon from that. Oh That's just a that's just a fucking dramatic and fuck that life Fuck that. That's that's that's a huge improvement cinnamon and brown sugar are Insanely overused on almost everything cinnamon is delicious. I think brown sugar might be the most Overpowering fucking flavor that could ever be put on a food Every single time I've had anything with brown sugar. I fucking take a bite and go Says so much brown sugar and all I can taste is brown sugar dude cinnamon with an icing glaze

You know, like that combo is just magic anyway anyway Listen the important thing and here you want to go full circle on that Yeah, let's go full circle brown sugar Which you then but brown sugar on bacon and then you and then it cooks It cooks in the oven and then it becomes Candied

It becomes caramelized bacon That makes so so you it's like it's like the maple waved but it says of maple you go with the caramelized and it's fucking it's dangerously good dangerously good Yeah, yeah, straight up. You try that try that shit out You can't eat the bacon and then you bake it in the oven you pull it out Not only will your house smell amazing you bite in and you go. Oh, I'm in trouble. I'm in danger. Oh Time to get fucking fat. Yeah, it's bad. It's time bad Hey, I got I got I want to respond to somebody who pointed out something that'll give everybody at home new information

Somebody accused me of not having a good sense of taste Which is incorrect. In fact, what I do have is a remarkably terrible sense of smell That is almost oh always overpowered by core flavors Which is why stuff like brown sugar drives me so crazy Because half of the smell of the food that I'm supposed to get I'm not getting so then it's like oh great brown sugar great Gritty mmm delicious. Yeah, you're you're you're you're fucking your your variables are all fucked up your bars are off Your cap all the primaries are way too high your monitor is not calibrated. So fuck your I know your opinions on that My nose is bad. What can I tell you?

It's not good where the rest of us are tasting something completely different a Page had a fucking what the fuck was it? It was a Some kind of plant Some kind of plant. She's like oh this smells so good. I'm like that's nice And she's like what you can't smell this she held it out like I don't know foot in front of my head I'm like no And she held it like directly as close to my face as it could without touching and I'm like no I Don't know what that smells like

Weed No, it wasn't weed. It wasn't Brussels sprouts or green onions. It was a Cilantro, I don't know. It's a leafy green. It's a leafy green. I fucking forget the name of it Not spinach, but like one of the rugola kale Maybe one of that shit sure Well anyway, don't these flowers smell beautiful. No They smell like Styrofoam What'd you do?

What I do well, I had a crazy adventure out of the house. No, I didn't ha Be too maternal I'm gonna ask you to be significantly less spoilery than you were last week. I Was not everything I talked about had been shown in trailers So Games great Games just great

The final boss is like the shittiest part of the whole game, which is a bummer Like it's like say the whole game's like a 10 or like maybe wavering into a nine. I'll boss like a seven It's like yeah, this isn't It's cool, but it's like a lame fight Endings great Unlockables are great The unlockables are super great you get to play doom 1 and 2 in there Yeah, like in their entirety and the weird PC version they have it will fucking

Accept custom wads so you can play like whatever the fuck stupid doom mods you want inside doom eternal Did you enjoy it as much as doom 2016? I enjoyed it significantly more good. That's all I need and It really cements that like first-person DMC feel Because I went back to earlier levels, but at the higher difficulty highest difficulty I could play and they're a fucking joke and

they're not a fucking joke because Like the enemies aren't hard. They're a joke because of like the Wild improvement that you make in terms of like movements in particular over the course of the game Like the early enemies like imps and arachnotrons like can't do anything to you anymore. It's fucking awesome Gives great give me that style ranking patch, please Just pretend it's inside you I always do Because it's there it is absolutely there It's just not visible

They've also got this thing called master levels Which seems to be like hey, did you beat the game on nightmare like here you go and they take old campaign levels and they Remix them completely to have completely new enemies and they're basically all the final level. Okay, it's like you'll do the third level and instead of Like two imps and an arachnotron. It's like three of the strongest enemies in the game Just all over the place. It's fucked game's great game's super great Fauna boss a little weak and

There is So big visual thing in the background of tons of stages that I expected was gonna go to a cool type of level that we didn't get So it's kind of like a missed opportunity, but there's still DLC coming. Yeah, Doom Eternal is there is DLC coming in fact Yes, there is going to be and it's campaign DLC self-contained stories. Yeah That's the car. That's good. I like that. I like that. Also. I like the music better than Doom 2016 It's just a smidgen better, right? It like it's a Like a like a tweak, but yeah, it's better. It's make out doing himself is is what are you gonna? Yeah, what are you gonna the the core track with which is the only thing they fear is you is probably my favorite

But it's whoa, it's good. Oh That's real good What else well? Doom Eternal came out alongside you by any chance watch anything I Did Did you watch Tiger King? Yes

Yes But yes, let's go Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. I watched Tiger King at 430 this morning With Paige so we only watched the one but I said hey podcast is tomorrow only watch the first episode. I Yeah, only the first episode so Careful, so what I should probably watch this Tiger King. I keep hearing about In that for I got more out of that first episode than I get out of entire seasons of other shit

What did you know about it before you click to play? That it was about a guy named the Tiger King. Okay, and That people kept talking about Tiger King. Okay. Yes, it's that it's that new thing that It's the same vein it hits the same grapevine as fire festival as making a murderer as the staircase Etc. It's the new thing that's out and you got to go see it. Holy shit. What a ride It is in its corp, so We're good to talk about the premise we can talk about the premise and we can talk about the first episode At the very sure so the premise is is is fascinating and something. I don't think I would ever care about I

And it is about I cared about it. Oh I cared about it because I remember I heard a stat Right and that stat was that there are more tigers in captivity in America than there are in the entire wild and That was that that is that was fucking crazy to me, right when I heard that I was like, how does that make any sense? how does that Like what world do we not know about that explains this stat? Because this had to and then this couldn't happen overnight in one generation this had to be there Oh, this has been gone going and I was like, what is there? What story do we not know that explains?

How this many tigers exist in America and the story is that in rural America there is a booming Exotic animal private zoo thing going on that I had no idea about there are of These dudes just got the skies got 200 tigers. There are There are many southern folk who see the idea of owning a tiger as the height of luxury and even masculinity and Any other thing that you want to ascribe And the bigger your ego the more tigers you got to have You know you can connect the dots on that to hey look how rich I am

I own a fucking tiger certainly because tigers are ridiculous certainly But so I'm like, okay, and we meet our meet we meet our main character one mr. Joe exotic who is a A Fucking and he's a anime character. No, he's no stranger than fiction. You cannot write you cannot write him There's two there's so much going on with every one of the main characters of this story It's a documentary by the way docu series There's so much going on that you could not write it because it would seem too absurd

If these if these characters came out on onto like the page of a manga you'd be like this character stupid Nobody's this would we I don't even want to say everything that he is into or what he does No, definitely not, but he is He is a fucking weird contradiction in tone Attitude action profession temperament

humor Joe exotic super eccentric character that is currently There there are like people like Ed Norton are on Twitter fighting yeah to play add to play him in what will surely be the the dramatized film So you get you see you get you get Joe exotic and then you're like, okay. Well, what other characters are we gonna go into? We're gonna meet the park rangers Wow There's a cast yeah You're okay. Let's meet the the the mentor. Oh that dude's insane. Yeah

Let's meet the villain. Oh, she seems not oh, she's super crazy Like like top to bottom every you cannot be involved in this life of owning tigers without being completely fucking nuts and Then there's that there's a subtext to it that either comes through in the first episode, which is Okay, let's let's these people are from different states primarily one of the villains from Florida are Heroes from Oklahoma. I forget where the dock guy is. I think he's one stayed over And when you go to our hero Joe exotic zoo and you're doing the the the the the setup interviews with everybody

Hey, I'm the ranger. Hey, I'm the head ranger. Hey, I'm the guy, you know you notice something in these interviews and that is at The mentors ranch and at the villains ranch everyone's fine but at Joe's ranch Every single person is carrying around some horrible maim or missing limb. So it or there's or disability Every single person. I mean, so they're like yes, but no and and and that may that is a bit misleading but there definitely is a level of like What the fuck is wrong with you that like you clearly

Clearly have been disfigured from fucking around with tigers and you're still fucking around with tigers at like Every single like it's it's laughable because you go you got Joe exotic talking about how safe the park is and Then we smash cut to another is like, oh man, we love those tigers and they go to gesture with their stomp. Yep Yeah So, you know, it's it's like, oh, okay. Yeah Yeah, listen, listen, right? There's something that happens and I'm not gonna say anything else about the remaining episodes to you Right besides obviously get watch them. I'm sure you will yeah, you know Pretty hard to not get bought in after that first bit

But here's what I'll say over the course of watching the next few episodes What I found personally for me was that I was like at some point the tigers become normalized Right. Yeah, and who cares about the time, right? It becomes a thing. We were like, oh, yeah, there. They are whatever but by the end The tigers are the least interesting aspect of the story Oh, yeah, you can you can easily see that the tigers are the least interesting aspect of the entire story By the time the final credits roll and I think I think the craziest thing is that I feel a

profound sense of appreciation or Like a little golf clap for the luck of the filmmaker and documentary crew that started this documentary Yeah, because yeah, it becomes very clear within about five minutes that this show is an accident Yes, and this this show is not what it was supposed to be I'm gonna go ahead and say that to be perfectly honest I think the best documentaries and docuseries will get are the ones that are accidental, right? The ones where they this was supposed to we started filming for a completely different reason and in the middle of that story line

This shit fucking happened and there was cameras rolling when it did That's the best so originally this is a documentary and don't worry I won't do as but it's a documentary about arguments between the owners of private zoos and animal rescue groups as to the status and ethical treatment of animals depending on breeding tigers for show or letting people meet tigers or What's called cub petting or this stuff and then the it built in hypocrisy of the groups ostensibly trying to do the right thing Yada yada, and it's a business thing

So they started shooting that as a documentary and that's not what they got as a documentary they got something Just shoot off at a tangent There's a magical a completely different type of story. Yeah, and there's another there's another staff That's on on set filming a reality TV show, you know, but the There's a magic to an interviewing Technique where when somebody is when you got a character, right? You're not when you're in the middle of a story and you look at somebody that you're sitting down with you're like, oh you are

Top billing or the story your name would be on the poster, right? Yeah, you ask those people a question and Then they respond talk and then there's a pause where you're supposed to follow up. You do not follow up You just let him keep talking not follow up Just you let them because they say the answer and then they're waiting for you to Back and forth, but then you don't so then they go well Then let me explain a little bit more and then and you got to reach down deep and get to the truth And then when that comes out you're like there's the good shit. It's the third paragraph the third paragraph is the good shit It's great because the there is two of two of those situations are going on

there's the Documentary crew that is following this these this tiger king and this animal rescue outfit and this other tiger zoo and what have you And they do that to the nth degree But the kickoff point for the story is A news anchor from local news doing this technique to Joe exotic and going just the straight-up question What do you mean by that? Yeah? Yeah? letting him answer three four times in a row Which led to me like putting my hand on my mouth. It's like you're not supposed to say that it's great

And that's you really that that was a bad thing to say and some people some people might actually recognize him From TV because he did appear on TV once Yeah, if if they happen to be late-night watchers, you know, but anyway Um There that that type of story where exactly yeah, you're filming is something and then something else happens is great I think the two other standouts being making a murderer obviously and Dear Zachary as like this was not supposed to be this but it turned into this are absolutely like

Fantastic like pieces of history But yeah tiger king not at all in the same tone as It's it's a similar type of show to like the ones I just mentioned but not at same tone as dear Zachary Obviously, and with making a murderer whereas that's a big ol who done it where you're like what the fuck happens here as you're following this This crazy ass story with these people and in this case it is like I Don't want to say most like I mostly hijinks, but it's it's what happens

What it's the natural conclusion of these egos clashing into each other. All right, I got it. I got it. I can do it for you all right, so Ricky Bobby is a Ricky Bubbles and Julian move to Oklahoma and Start a tiger zoo But it's real It's not a it's not a trailer park boys episode. It's a actual documentary. There is a

30-second clip maybe or so that happens in one of the future episodes that I Stood up and fucking I like I had to walk away Like was it it was it that kind of thing where it makes you uncomfortable? No, no, it is the hardest laugh I've had at like Netflix at a television in such a long time There is a moment. It is a fucking Platinum ass moment. It is beautiful It and and I was like I like you it's one of those but it's almost like you know in firefest the the water

So, you know the water moment type of thing like we had to get the water bottle so the kids somehow it's it's a little bit it's kind of one of those and Keep an eye out for a vape pen Yeah, all right Anyway, but yeah, no a reality stranger than fiction There there's there's no way you could write You know I once when I was younger I thought like why would you ever read nonfiction books because I mean fiction books you could do anything, right?

It could be oh, there's a dragon. I'm a robot, you know, whatever, right? And it's like nah cuz the infinite permutations of stupid stupid shit That we have all gotten up to will create things that no one could have ever thought up Stranger than fiction you can't write it you cannot yeah anyway, so Tiger King's great I definitely suggest you I get on that. I was planning to just do a couple episodes and then we did it all in one sitting That's if it had not been 4 30 a.m. When we started watching we would have burned through easy like in a shot cuz Just fucking riveting and I had this moment

Watching the first episode where Joe was talking and I looked over and I go man. This guy is just Exploding with charisma. He's just like magnetic and then the very next edit Was him going this is how we deal with people around here and they're like shooting an effigy with shotgun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And I'm like, okay, I love something all right something I fucking adore, right? That's certain Certain cuts so though it's editing editing is so magic. It's so magic when it's done, right? What it's powerful, right? And one of my favorite things in the world is when they have this so daily show used to do this is they'd interview somebody But they'd show you the dead air and

They give you that 10 seconds before and after as people are like straightening their coats and they're getting ready and they're like, okay And I'll show up. Yep. Okay, and we're on right and and they give you a little bit of those moments And they give you the afterwards there is When you're talking about like one of the one of the the lords one of the king one of the many Tiger Kings one of the people we cover here. Yes. Yes this dude will be like Full-on in character and then Will just snap back. I'm like, yeah, okay. Was that it's fine. Okay, or whatever do this do that

All right, you guys come up to the house. You're gonna knock on the door You're gonna say hey guys nice to meet you. I'll do the whole thing Oh, yeah, cool and the camera guys are joking about how he's a better director than it's just like this is how you're gonna do it All right, cool. All right. Hey There's a there's a real Oh insincerity is I was thinking about the same day I was doing a little research on it

Insincerity is like this the single if what not yeah, like one of the worst or if not the single most like disgusting like internal reaction emotion you can see in someone and In that case, it's really cool to see a situation where Everybody prepares for some kind of performance like I sat down in front of this podcast You know before the mic turned on I fixed my coat one. Yeah. Oh for sure. Okay, right? Yep, but there's a certain Value in seeing someone literally just put the mask on Because sometimes it's fucking nightmarish and like with doc it's like oh, yeah Okay. All right. This is a

Complete fabrication top-to-bottom. Holy shit. No, there's a there's a difference between Realizing you're on energy which again, I absolutely have right? I assure you if you just if you come in and peek on me, you'll get a quieter talking and probably more sarcastic version of myself Oh, yeah Well, he has a real fucking on off-state for the fucking podcast where you're not awake and then you hit the button Then you shake your head. All right, and then post podcast you just kind of deflate the pot the process of recording wakes me up. I had I wake up as I'm on the air and

In many cases if it's a really long one, it's like, oh, I haven't eaten anything Turns out I was running on fumes. Oh my blood sugar is didn't realize I was on the magic pixel Not my blood sugar, I'm not diabetic Well, yeah, no, but your blood when you haven't eaten all day and it's killing your energy That's still your blood sugar, but there is absolutely a just Yeah, a complete hexadecimal mask switch that goes on for some people that is like Yes, keep that switch in the edit. Do not give them what they want It's mad. Let me see the mask come on and even more important. Let me see the mask come off

And that's like oh, you get that you get that here and it's marvelous. It's that's weird isn't it tiger lords tiger king They call him the king for a reason angry scar tiger uppercut Anyway, that's that's that's binge binge worthy. It's wild. It's worthy. It's fucking Despite being about captive animals. Haha. Oh, it's totally. Wow. Fuck it. Yeah It's a so far. I am enamored and fascinated and It does a it does a great little in media res and Just the nature of the story works out perfectly not even just the the fucking Documentarianism of it and just the way it panned out is like it starts with

Wow, this situation got really bad, huh? And then you flash back to the the good old days and you know, you have that like how could it get this bad? And by the end of the first episode, I'm like, I know exactly It's actually really really really clear And instead it becomes how did it not get that bad for so long? I don't know what's what they've did off. Yeah, I'm glad that I'm glad that they start out the first episode Showing you the future so that you go back to tell the story. I think that's a better way to do it for sure It's it's yeah, I'm oh, I'm very excited to dive into that. You're kitty kitty

Mmm. Did it? Here kitty kitty, so yeah, okay. I'm glad you got one in I'm glad you got one in yeah, it's it's good I'm glad I I'm glad I grabbed it Sunday night has become Like sure up the week a section of the podcast, which is even more common now because I mean we're not going anywhere We're not we're not doing that What else before before Tiger King I also got to say Talked briefly about animal crossing last did you cross the animal line?

Wait, did I not talk about animal crossing last week? Did that I literally can't remember if I talked about I did I feel like you did but I'm not a hundred percent did Animal cross good a little I did animal cross Tekken Animal Crossing is a is a is a game where It's it is the is the perfect game for all of us right now because it's about going outside and tending your garden and Interacting with your community and it actually has you on a day schedule that mirrors the real time outside So it actually makes yeah unless you're a filthy time traveler, which we don't talk to the other don't talk Yeah, I heard that's a cheat and you can cheat and get shit by time traveling

It's the the in-game clock is just the system clock. So can you you can you jump back afterwards and keep your shit? You can if you keep going forward, it's no problem Going backwards can Occasionally Unbuild things do they does the game no one time punish you? I'm not certain. I haven't done it because you would think the game would be like oh Wait, what what's happening? You should there should be a whole bunch of lines for people that are confused as to what the fuck is going on Well, that would make sense like from a mr. Rossetti point of view

I Got it. I got a good haul on the stock market this week I got a 2.6 million bell haul off the stock market some make a big dent in mind my debt Wow I have created I've created a village that page and a bunch of my friends have seen and Have described it as a island for psychos An island for crazy people and

I don't think that's true It's just that it's come up in the past that Pat is not a very creative person But everybody has created a purchase, but what what so I do it is required here I Well, you know where you decorate where you put houses where infrastructure goes. It's a little city builder And I decided that I wanted to have one of every cross-bred flower in the game Which meant that I needed to acquire all eight flower types and Arrange them in an eight-by-eight interlocking grid

to maximize The the cross pollination potential Which led to the creation of what I am calling the Omni garden and It is It is like a third of my main island is These rows of perfectly square Flowers that I was watering earlier today before we started the podcast Because I want those blue lilies. God damn it. It's our blue road. Whatever. I want all I want all the blues and

I have taken all of my Day-to-day store infrastructure and that all lives to the left of the plaza and then we have a residential Segment which is off to the side and all they're all gridified. They're all in nice little rows and Everyone who comes over They see the Omni garden checkered them. They see the They see the Omni garden. They see the yeah, they are checkered They're eight by eight interlocking in checkered. They're diagonals It's it's five

eight twelve So five internal diagonal eight on the exterior and 12 on the external usually goes white red yellow and So I got the interlocking diagonal Fucking flower Omni garden and then next to that is the the spaced diagonal perfect interlocking five rows of each fruit For for orcharding that is sealed off in a in a square

and then I discovered the real bane of your existence in Animal Crossing and That bane is figuring out which Villagers you want So will they there are 400 plus villagers. I mean what you want. Aren't they just there? They are

but would you like to hang out with stinky the cat who is a luchador or lucha The luchador bird wait, there's two instead of yeah, there's a bunch dude. There's two luchador instead of I don't know Yeah, instead of I don't know Fucking peck the the sparrow who works out or sparrow Who is a sparrow? Is it randomly Generated there are there Here's a little quote from Eli. There are almost as many

Animal Crossing villagers as there are pokemon Are they randomly there are a sign to your village. They're not randomly sorted. They are all unique They have like a dozens of different personality types. They all have a unique misunderstanding does every village contain every villager No, the k they contain 10. That's what I'm asking. So you get 10 random ones when you start playing Pretty much you get two that are totally random. You can try and pick out Some others and the more you grow the more people join Yeah, you get to a maximum of 10 and here's the part where it's like uh-oh

Once you hit 10 you got all the villagers of the game assigned to you it's like I don't want I don't want this guy I want the cool robot bunny So what do you do? All right. Well You try and figure out a way To get them out of your village and this is where you vanish people

You cannot vanish people In fact what you have to do What you have to do And i'm gonna copy a link to you willy Is ignore them You have to every time they try and come up to talk to you turn your back on them If uh, then go to isabel if they do manage to talk to you And file a regional complaint that they're rude to you

And eventually they will become so miserable in the village They will leave on their own that's fucked up So you ostracize them And you make them so unhappy That they leave You can also you gas light the shit out of it So the the danger here i'm gonna send you a photo here willy the danger is that um They will run up to you and talk to you and you won't be able to stop them. So you need some way

To make sure that they can't run and talk to you They run up to you and force an interaction Yeah So if you see in the photo that I sent you which is a tweet that I made earlier You can see that one of the things that you could do is that you have collision with these other animals And you can push them to where you want And then you then you can seal them in with fences. Yeah, okay Um now that only works during the day

Ideally you want to wake up at uh five or six in the morning Uh, yeah, that I pulled that from my Twitter. I was trying to get rid of Phoebe last night You wake up at five or six in the morning before they've woken up And you create an impenetrable pill barrier around their house and jail before they can run out of the house And then if you have fully sealed them in uh, and you fully ignore them for a time They will eventually be like I gotta get out of here Um The problem is

Here's the problem I didn't like Phoebe on my island Because she's a boring character. I think she's lean But then I was I was I was penning her in I was hitting her with bats I was uh complaining about the way she dressed to isabel every day Uh, and I just finished in Uh Fucking

Penning her in to a river estuary Hoping that she would fall into the river and drown and Then I looked on twitter and Saw What the dialogue actually was when people get fed up to leave And it is a a a picture of ozzie the koala because he's from australia

Uh And he calls you ol bear ha ha who is actually one of my other villagers that I like Talking to the villager saying I don't want to talk to you anymore. You made me sad. Please go away And I was like, oh that's That's awful. Oh now you think that's awful. That's really sad. So I so I unblocked phoebe I uh dismantled the signs Uh, I talked to her and I gave her some peaches

She was really stoked about that and I said, you know what? Let's just forget, you know, it was just a little hazing What did you think what like like this just uh just out just a little uh, just a little prank social Prank phoebe. It's like you're Phoebe it was it was uh, it's just a funny little prank. Wow All right, let's let's you go hang out with peck up. I moved you near or peck's house is You guys can work out by the bonfire that I've built there. Wow the back down and uh And now I'm thinking about like, okay

I don't know what to do because my island has Some fucking losers on it. You know what? I was gonna say I was gonna say that that um, you know, it's kind of fucked up that like nintendo's system would have this Uh, this this would exist where you have to be so horribly mean to someone and like Absolutely ruin their shit and gaslight them and fuck them over till they emotionally are just like I can't take this anymore And they leave it would have been so much simpler and easier to just go to a list And great and go kick as if they were in a lobby

On an online match, right? But because you can't do that and because the game is about feelings and communications with people Maybe nintendo hanging out with your people is actually genius and brilliant because you can't choose What life is going to throw at you and if you have to get rid of somebody like this It's not as easy as just going kick and and and evaporate and evaporating them from your fucking island You can't just make somebody move out like that. You got to make them want them Yeah, so maybe the fact that this system Requires you to be a jerk is brilliant

I changed my mind so It's so currently in my island I got Phoebe the phoenix who's pretty normal I got peck who's a sparrow loves getting ripped working out I got morangae who's a rhino that is colored like a strawberry shortcake and loves baking I got patty the cow who's into rock music and horror movies. She's cool I got ed the horse Who's like a blue weird horse who thinks he's the shit?

No, what's up with that? Why could you complain about people's clothing? I I think because they have multiple outfits that you can go tell Isabel at the tap at you can you can go to city hall and say I don't like her clothes make her change them Yeah, and she'll like oh, I'm so sorry. She's been dressing and and then and then do they go force them to change? They listen if you want to have a good time in this community You're gonna that's fucked up That's fucked up All right, that's ridiculous. I can't believe that happens. I also I also got a cat named kabuki on the way

Who seems insane? So there's a winner Uh, but yeah, I I originally wanted a fucking island of total weirdos I wanted a fucking uh island with uh You know like uh lucky the dog Who's a snoopy looking dog had to toe and bandages with a glowing evil eye You know I want yeah, I want the weird ones But yeah, the the game's pretty great. It's gonna take me a long time to pay off some bells

Uh, there is one thing that I actually very much dislike about the time traveler people What's that and that's when you visit when you visit their island They are like weeks ahead of you in terms of progress like actual literal weeks And they've turned their island into downtown osaka And you're like you can do that. I have a orchard. Yeah, you can do you can turn it into a full ass cityscape Absolutely, you've got trees and a little farm and I've got like a nice little country lake village That's cute. It's like oh

Actually wait was the second the second game was city folk right like that. Yeah, that's right And in that game, I believe you could turn your city into a quaint little village So it's all about like taming the fucking area. Did you get your arcade cabinet? I did not well then what the fuck are you doing? Your priorities are like a really there's an astro city situation. There's an astro city arcade cabinet And there's three variations of it And listen, we'll eat if I have bigger problems right now. That should be your number. I have a goddamn I have a rice cooker. I have a shaved ice machine

I have a coffee machine and I have no table to put them on so they're all sitting on the floor in my living room I don't know what to do with them. You can't make the table because I don't know how to make a cooking board Get your fucking arcade machine, bro Yeah, that's that's how it that like that should be number one with a bullet on your list of priorities I've caught I've caught almost all the rare fish in my in my month And all the rare bugs in my month. So I'm pretty happy about that. It's a good game. It's very relaxing very calming Though once you uh, once you get about a weekend and you you've really gone hard at it The game really goes. No, you're gonna play this half an hour a day

Cuz Any cool thing that you want to do you want to build a bridge tomorrow you want to move a house Tomorrow did you art you want to pay off your what's that art? No I did figure out how to use the in-game Pattern maker to create signs that said leave now Uh, that that was my design Uh, but uh

No, I don't yeah, I have friends who know how to do art So I'll I'll talk to them And they'll do art Okay There's also a cool feature that you can link up your phone and scan qr codes to download arts that other people make yeah nook link So you just you just use this good game you can use that Yeah, hey man. I gotta fucking uh Take care of the omni garden

Because eventually I'll be the only one with blue and black roses And everyone will be jealous because I'll have them all around my house So just just for clarity then uh, you did not in fact bully anybody off the island I did not it was just a prank bro. It never went that far It it never went that far Just I mean in real time. It was only about 45 minutes. So like, you know, that's like come on Stop crying. It's just it was just just joke man Just a big joke. Is there any penalty for making people leave?

They make you feel that that's correct. That's the correct answer. That's exactly what I was looking for That's that's what they do That was a trick question Yeah, they make you uh, they make you feel that Okay, there's a real like frustrated parent feeling of like just stop crying that you get to Uh, but but just so I just and you're saying that like after being ignored for a while out of desperation They will just walk up to you and force a prompt as if you were fighting in the wild in pokemon

Yeah, a little bit like you they will just you'll cross their line of sight see them walking up And they'll just hitch and they'll hit a button on you Yeah, okay, so you turn your back to them and then they can't do it. Yeah, if you turn your back That's so fucked. That's so so fucked dude. Hey man, you got to get that perfect village All the villagers you want in it and none of the villagers you don't want Pretend they don't it's one of those that It's one of those things where like the design of the game is like so aggressively trying to fight the way that people play games Because people will look at a list they'll go a list of animal crossing villagers and they'll be like, ah, I want to

Uh, a fucking I want to only dog village Or you know That's all no I want. Yeah, so I want that's what I was gonna say only the the smarmy surely there must be Quick guides out there on youtube. Hey guys, here's a quick guide on how to get people out of your village You know nintendo didn't really make it easy to kick people out So if you see someone you don't really want in your village, here's what you got to do Be a piece of shit to them Generally you can box them out and make them feel like garbage walk away from them when they want to talk to you

Complaint about them every day make them feel really bad for being there And uh, you know give it a couple days make sure you never accidentally give them the time of day And uh by the end of it eventually they'll tell you they hate you and leave forever and then uh, you have a new slot So, uh, don't forget to smash that like button comment subscribe. Let me know. Uh, this is another uh hot tip from uh Hey woolly. Yeah Check out the title of the youtube video. I just sent you and then there's the dank outro music I I literally just sent you the

The the fucking uh Getting rid of your neighbors how to get villagers to move out a hundred percent And then the description is a is a fucking wolf going I want to leave this island perfect Get them to leave Get out of here. You are unwanted Yeah, get out But yeah like villager leaves like headed in the fucking

Deal with its sunglasses and then put a big, you know, spliff in the mouth and Fucking smoke weed every day Yeah Got it get off of my omni garden Can you make it that whole side of the island is for my garden what happens if you make everyone leave What happens if you treat everybody equally like shit? You can't you can't you can't go down in terms of uh Uh villagers You're you're climbing up to 10 and minimum 10 and you're replacing counting isabel

No, isabel. Okay, so store owners don't count she appeared her and no appear to live in the residential office. What about like, um, the the the um the porcupines They come to visit they're travelers And I think I think mabel lives above her shop So all those characters that are consistently Animal crossing characters are not consistent. They're all shops and office. They're not actually visual villagers, right? Okay No, no, no You always got tom. You always get the kids

You always got mabel label and sable because I just if you're an awful man Daisy may that ignores everyone and does a bad job all the time Uh-huh, you know, it's like obviously there's not going to be a punishment, but At what? Uh, yeah, you can get into a situation if you leave your village completely unattended for long enough um, your your society will be um, uh grown over with weeds and people will leave Oh, it will but like it will it will be the it's the tamagotchi system your society being uh overrun and uh

Yeah, it will it will fucking Deplanage but like right, but the does the concept of society itself fall apart No, it's it's a stable society. Do we revert to the rule of beasts? No, no, it's uh, yeah People will leave because they're lonely and uh the town will get overgrown with weeds and you'll come back and they'll be like Wow, you haven't been here in a while. Oh animal crossing becomes like beast cross We are all roving packs. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's the in my discord. We got a fucking goofy name. It's called the beast Interception. Yeah, yeah, because that's what it is. But yeah, no, so, uh, you know, I'm gonna

I'm gonna work on some infrastructure gonna get some bridges up Uh, gotta gotta get some new people in gotta get uh, I don't know about ed. He seems okay But uh, he's a little weird a little smug I talked to you about the stock market. You did Okay, yeah, it's sow jones stock market for turnips Sow isn't a pig made of Yes, right. So that pigs head could go s o w space j o a n Sow jone, right the the sound name jone and her stock market

S t a l so if you got to go lord of the flies Then uh, you could uh, put a pigs head does you got a pig for the stick? That'd be real wild actually that'd be not good wild country Um, you know good Now it's a good game. It's fun to play. I enjoyed it very good Uh, very relaxing very calming. Yeah, that's the that's the that's the deal. That's the deal Uh, now I get it. I'm glad that I did you attempt the others. I'm very happy The other oh no, I know your first is your first one, but you never tried the others and uh

Yeah, and according to my friends This is probably the best point to start because all the other ones were just remaking animal crossing one over and over Where's this the first one that's like monster hunter world go Do yeah pretty much. Yeah, not not as not as expansive but like no I've heard I've seen many tweets implying that this is the nice jump in point for people And uh, I get that Uh, I've you know, like I said, I've I've I have tried in the past Um

I've tried at least two and I feel like I've bounced off of both of them. So But uh, cool. Okay You just gotta you just gotta feel whether or not your villagers uh need to go Yeah, I could probably I could probably get in if I like kind of forced it If I if I kind of forced myself to stay with it, you know, but I I definitely would feel like I'd want to play other stuff so It's it's it's kind of a wild turnaround For me saying, uh, what was it? Like here's that game for people who love to shove their heads up their own asses

Oh When uh, animal crossing came on the direct Yeah, you probably I was giggling did talk a lot of shit during those I did I sure did I guess my head is now up my own ass now Oh boy Yeah, it's fun. I like it hard cut to you screaming. I'm anything if not consistent I'm anything if not consistent The most consistent thing is that what I am inconsistent. I go wow. I was really inconsistent. What a dumb idiot

That's the most consistent Also, I saw pro mayor, uh Yeah, that's uh, yeah, that's a 26 episode series Crammed into a fucking hour half. They got they literally they literally tell you that actually There's a part in the movie where they go. Yeah, this is we don't have time shut up There there's a real overwhelming feeling of A character going aha and someone going shut up There's no time. Yes pro mayor, uh

Was really good. How about those fucking colors? Yeah I do like really bright pastels and neons I think that looks good And now you know, I the old now you understand the only thing I came away with sorry after you after you The only thing you came away with was The only thing I came away with is like I wish this was a show. Yeah instead of a movie. It would have been nice to see the fully You know fleshed out thing for sure

But at the same time, you know, we got all the we got all the trigger nods in there We got the things that seemed like hey, that's a character I kind of recognize and then we had this stuff was like that's not at all Going to be like the character that I thought it's very different and yeah, no, there's there's design similarities Right, there's characters that look very similar to to gurin like and characters and characters from other stuff triggers worked on But then turn out to be completely not that um And uh now you understand all the gallow cross leo

Out there. Yeah, it's it's been a while since I saw what I would term uh such an aggressive power bottom in something That's a I think that's that is that is the first character that I can think of on the power bottom scale That is more powerful than the oven in that one arby's ad More powerful More powerful than the arby's oven

Ultra bottom Yeah, that's right Can't be stopped can't be topped Well, they can be topped Not by the week not by the week Only the strong Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

Well, um quiz knows whatever it's a quiz does oven go to hell everyone sure Is that it I think that's pretty much it for me. Okay, uh Let's see Ah, yeah, I'm gonna be streaming some crap this week. Uh, some of that crap is going to be resident evil 3 the rest of that crap I don't know I'll be over at twitch.tv slash pat stairs it Okay Um, yeah, let's take a quick look for my sponsors right here

Let's do that This week, uh castle super beast is sponsored by Express vpn Case hey express vpn So we all know how express vpn protects your privacy and security online Something you might I do know something you might not know is that you can also use express vpn to unlock movies and shows that are only available in other countries Why is that called geo unlocking? So, uh, you know now that many of us are stuck at home It's only a matter of time before you run out of stuff to watch on netflix

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Thanks express vpn And this week the podcast is also sponsored by upstart So Upstart upstart i'm not familiar with let's start. Tell me about it. It is a lending platform and there are There are many predatory skeezy lending places out there that that I would say that's accurate get into to uh, uh Credits and loans and from what I was able to tell With research

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Not like the the the the bad ones out there So, uh, thank you very much to upstart Thanks upstart And Okay, I think I'm gonna use the bathroom Okay for a couple minutes and I will be feel free back All right well gang

the irony here Is that you know, we haven't had any guests on the castle super beast podcast, but I can tell you right now That technically right now We are having our first guest and it's a cat Okay, so don't hit the button kitty It's a oh I You should have gotten up and been pissed already I was doing a bit. Okay. So now now my bid is spent. Okay. I'm gonna hit the button

Yeah hit the button All right, there we are. Hey, welcome back everyone. Well, how you doing you empty? My bladder is yeah, yeah Being empty is great It's kind of impossible to ever be completely empty. That's how you see yourself How about as empty as you can get you know? Yeah, let's get ready on this podcast But it's really it takes a lot of work to get like

Super empty. Yeah, you gotta poop a lot. You know Well, that's one that takes that only takes care of of your intestines your gi tracked. Yeah That doesn't that doesn't deal with all the other places that can be full I suppose you're right there we go Okay, so what you've been up to man Well, um, I had a bit of a week as we talked about I uh, I watched my sagat documentary on netflix you fucking wish Did you have a moment or like maybe he's gonna take a shirt off and there'll be a big scar No, but I definitely had the thought that someone is gonna open up photoshop and get busy. Yeah

Definitely thought that um Who would have thought that Sagat would be the least asshole-ish egotistical tiger king Of all that you would know. Yeah. How about that? It's actually positively humble by comparison So, um, yeah, I had a bit of a week. Uh, I checked out a couple different things. So tiger king was one of them Uh, the other thing I did was I Jumped on to that

Nintendo e-shop and I grabbed jedi outcast. Oh that did you that was a good choice. I did not Jedi outcast is fucking back, dude It never left that game's incredible No, I know but like for me, I obviously haven't you know touched it since and Playing it now man. Oh, it's so nice. That's on I think it's on all the major platforms like switch xbox ps4 Yeah, I wanted I wanted so I grabbed it on switch, you know, um, just because whatever it was there while I was looking for Something else, which I'll get to in a second

I fucking I'll do the sound effects You know the little things I missed man Like I like for I forgot about like The set about how like you can hear someone around the corner based on their lightsaber Or they can turn it off and you and you might you know so that it's a little uh You can be a little bit more stealthy about it. I just went in I didn't play any single player I just went right to the multiplayer and just started fucking around. I didn't even

It didn't even fucking go through my mind that like jedi academy multiplayer is back Yeah No, the multiplayer is all there man Fuck single player. I didn't even bother. I just went I jumped right online. You got duels. You got power duels You got free for all you got all the modes everything. It's all there and uh, it was great like Obviously, you've got no, um You know mod. Mm-hmm. You got no fucking real real sabre mod, you know

um So that sucks but Yeah, you fucking you fucking you can jump in there in place. So I went in And there's definitely like, you know, you can feel The the remnants of like, okay, this is you used to play this with a mouse Right, you used to click that mouse button down and you would start swinging and then you would move around to like Change the swing arcs and like footsie your way in and out, you know

um But in this case you're obviously doing it with twin sticks So a lot of your instinct is to kind of like treat it as if it were like a normal like console third person Platformer in these moments, but you you gotta gotta be like no rate Remember how this used to be right and when you were playing it It was definitely made to work with like holding the mouse button down a hundred using your your wasd Yeah, you're doing like a hard swing with your mouse to change the angle So what you got to do now? No, no, you're clicking. It's the it's the it's your walking that changes how you're swinging

Yeah, but you can also turn the camera to to swing extra fast So oh the like the the yeah, yeah, yeah the animation if you swung and the swing start from the left side And you turn the camera to the right the absolute position of the lightsaber to actually shoot super fast to the right Jedi academy, excuse me not Jedi outcast Jedi academy Okay, wait hold on here we go. I got to do this the slow way dark forces Dark forces to Jedi night Jedi night Jedi academy Jedi night to Jedi outcast Jedi night Jedi night Jedi night to Jedi outcast correct Dark forces dark things is to Jedi night Jedi night to Jedi outcast Jedi outcast to Jedi academy

It's always the last one with a two and then the new one So the new one would be called um Jedi academy to Dark forces to Jedi night to Jedi outcast to academy Academy was No, because academy and outcast are like asylum and city

Those are the those are the interchangeable words But they're not but they didn't get subtitled The subtitling happens after Jedi night Okay, so Jedi academy is star wars Jedi academy Jedi night Sorry star wars Jedi night Jedi academy So it's so it's actually Jedi night three, but there's no Jedi night three But there's no three this is dark forces two Jedi night three

Jedi outcast this fucking series I think you can give me a little bit of slack on Mistake I'm doing I'm saying the wrong one actual worst. It's the who's on first. Who's on first who It's like, you know how legacy of kane it became soul reaver And then it went back to legacy k that was between two names Yeah, it was kicks the can down the road every time

Yeah, I think I think you can cut me a little slack for making a mistake there. I'm sorry. I said the wrong one The star wars naming convention for games has always been like incredibly terrible Like republic commando is a good example It's hard to tell what that's even part of and the answer is because it's not part of anything But it's my favorite because it represents the thing that uh it represents an era where Brand recognition is the most important part of a game. It's the most important so So the moment people start saying the subtitle of your game More than the original title. You have to replace the entire game title with that

You know like at four so everyone was like, yo, did you play dark forces? And I was like, yeah And then afterwards it's just like did you play jedi night and it was like, yeah No one said dark forces too. So then they're like, uh, oh everyone is saying jedi night more than dark forces Yeah, you know, and then they just kept doing that and it's like Bitch just fucking stick to your name and then have some confidence and then you get some weird shit Like I I just looked it up on a whim Animal crossing is another good example. You know how there's animal crossing in the subtitle

So city folk are new horizon. That's not even the title of the game The title is not it's the title of the game is welcome to animal crossing Well, isn't the japanese name something else entirely it's animal force There or whatever the fuck it is animal force Oh forest that makes way more sense I thought it was animal force, but I guess the youtube video I was watching he kind of like blurred it a little bit And I was like, why is it animal forest? It's so silly force forest. Yeah, it's animal forest Yeah

But no, that's exactly it man. It's it's uh, I want to say I want to say what what was the other really dumb one, uh, modern warfare Oh, man, that's really confusing Why like it's so annoying because it's like you just you literally like oh, yeah Everyone started saying modern warfare more than call of duty. So now let's just call this modern warfare Oh, you know, you don't even know how they might get confused god They might even confuse the player into thinking they're playing what they want to play So because it was like what if they what if they don't buy the thing?

It was uh, oh, it was call it the other thing. Oh my god. I gotta get a list of this because this is Because the because the call of duty naming shit is is completely out of control Right. So here's the list. You have call of duty one which had two expansions and call of duty two and three two Which had two expansions you call of duty three Okay, I tested it world at war. You have call of duty roads of victory. I don't know what that is. What is that? That's a psp game And you started with the trouble the trouble was call of duty four Modern warfare

So then you get call of duty no title World at war no number I okay And you would always be able to tell because at the bottom they show their engine number and you would literally see It would say cod five or cod six Sure. So then you have call of duty modern warfare two Which is actually call of duty six

But it's really modern warfare two But then you have call of duty black ops, which is seven Then modern warfare three, which is eight then black ops two, which is nine Then online ghosts then you get advanced warfare Then black ops three Then infinite warfare Yeah, world war two So this is black ops four and then 2019 is called modern warfare

Again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Obviously, this is what happens when you combine the first problem with the second problem That is two studios competing with each other So that their subtitle name was more important to the studio than the actual main ip You know, we're not going to share a number. We're going to share the label. I suppose, but that's about it. So And it it yeah Game one game two game three game 2016. I'm looking at the I'm looking at the list right now Which is the main series

Call of duty four modern warfare is the fourth game But call of duty modern warfare is the 16th game and call of duty modern warfare two Is the sixth game So if they were to make a sequel to the 16th game Call of duty modern warfare two that would sorry modern warfare that would be called call of duty modern warfare two Which would be identical names Between the 17th and sixth game like it's so bad. It's so halloween halloween two

What's halloween two? It's the sequel to halloween. Which halloween? The third one. No halloween got it You see I think this is what happens when you are so popular that a of course like I said you you are Your brand name needs to be you know Your your the subtitle becomes more popular than the brand name in some cases Because modern warfare is all people would say casual and black ops is also became that way second thing is that Like you're hitting a level of like casual widespread

fan base that Is going to just take I don't know let's say A giant chunk of the amount of people that play this game would just walk into a store and say Hey, can you give me the new call of duty? Yeah, whatever it's called You've you've brought up the point in the past where most Like the vast majority of studios Are embarrassed or seem to be embarrassed

By the fact by the number so if you numbered every call of duty came that came out Warzone the battle royale that just came out would have technically been call of duty 43 Now 43. I think that's fucking awesome Uh, and you have mentioned that like Final Fantasy as a series is one of the only ones that like rolls around and it's like lineage And drag but even but even Final Fantasy is a lie, right 15 is not 15 No, because you really want to go down that list getting that x2 and you're forgetting about 13 2 and 13 3 and But it is the closest to Like being honest about the number dynasty warriors is just lies

Musso is full of shit Like it's all lies. Like there are all they're like, I don't know. Are there any franchises that are honest Completely honest about their numbers. There's one And it's a franchise that started off in a form of honesty And then he came more honest and that's king of fighters. Nope king of fighters king of fighters Was king of fighters based on the year like a sports game Yeah, and at a certain time they said fucking 11 12 13 14 15 Fuck it, but I have I have two I have two wrenches. I can throw into the works on that though

Yeah, I can too well the first wrench I can throw in is the the Region locked naming that came from maximum impact to Being renamed to king of fighters 2014. Yeah, that's true Because that's horseshit because our uh, no not 2014 2000 and Four I think it was my god where where it was or six 2006, right where it was just like Yeah, you fucking you didn't call it maximum impact

You just you just turned it pretended It was the real number and hoped everyone would be confused by that Because maximum impact sold well enough that they're like, oh americans think this is king of fighters So let's just do this now. It's no one thinks that Right stupid, but there we are and then the second one was um What was it, uh If you want to go into those those portables you got howling blood ex on the gameboy advance

And uh, you got some you got if you if you want to count those in there, too There's technically been more than 14 king of fighters games But I don't know any I don't know any games that like straight up count For real real sports games all the way through despite being dishonest in almost every other way are like Pretty honest about the year for most cases Right, this is the one that came out 2005. Yeah. Yeah, neo wave never got a year What about neo wave? We're gonna pretend that wasn't that didn't count. Yeah, I'm gonna pretend that didn't count Well, it did it was there go to hell neo wave

Also, there's multiple versions of certain games 98 98 ultimate match. Yeah 98, uh 94 94 final bout 99 evolution I think I think it's a measure of pride to have a lot of numbers at the end of your game Yeah, I uh I want to see one franchise that just does it and never ever ever switches it up or pretends It's not because like res evil is a good example and that like you Does it have a number if it has a number it is more it is more resources It's more important and they spend more time and money on it

That's that's what most that's what it mostly means in games, but Um, there's still a whole franchise of revelations games that are unnumbered. Yeah, you know, so And then you dragon quests and you get the really bizarre one in which games that reuse a subtitle and add a number are being Are telling you that that spin-off series was good enough to deserve a number status But its own number status Not main level number Mega man is pretty close to honest, but mega man still does have um

handheld only Things that don't share the name the numbers handheld handheld versions of games that don't share the numbers as the the main entries And But it's pretty close to honest Right But then after zero one two three you go to zx and zx advent and then you start getting all the weird names Where does mega man soccer fit in? Yeah

4.5 Yeah, I know a lot of people are gonna say stuff like, uh Fucking persona or whatever and it's like no we're talking about stuff that's got like more than nine games It's because because the temptation is to say x And dodge it Right But nah man Like you know what I just realized final fantasy is not just a lie because it's a lie

And it's there's dozens of final fantasy games that don't count technically, but ff7 is final fantasy 16 I'd say that mario is the most skilled at dodging Numbers oh title every time Literally putting the word new into the word into the naming convention Which is wild we were making fun of like jedi outcast But every time we talk about bad names I was like Nintendo really fucking rocked the world by coming up with the actual worst name for anything ever which was the new nintendo 3ds Or the new nintendo 2ds is a thing as well the new nintendo 2ds xl

Is an object you can purchase You Like Yeah Come on But here's the other problem Are we really going to pretend that the games are going to figure it out when the fucking consoles themselves are struggling? Oh, no Like microsoft oh my god

Yeah, it's fucking laughable because you have microsoft going for like ah, it's the sex box and they're like we didn't call it that like yeah you did You got nintendo making Like going for some highbrow fucking international shit and they either shit their pants or kind of kill it like with the switch And they have sony in which they fucking they build it up for like Two years And then it leaks out every time and that's like the new console will be called The playstation number It will be the playstation is the other question

Are there any game franchises currently? in their 20th or Above iteration that actually have the number that high not that I can think of Something that's been around since the year 2000 or or or before that has actually counted up over 20 Because PlayStation I mean saw us final fantasy will get there Even though they're already there if you count their spin-offs

But is there anything that is right in there that has that has gone above 20 and not for the year people are saying not the year No, no, no not the year no madden 25 and they changed it the name to madden 25 Oh, did they they did Okay, so john madden Okay, but they switched it once. Yeah, or are they are they going to stick with it? Are they going to count 26 27 28 from now on? You know, that's the question I want to know and there's definitely none that have there's none that are if it's a 25th anniversary

So they did it then that's a one-time thing probably But I can't I definitely don't imagine there's anything that has been numeric the entire time that is now over 20 Uh It's it's a fucking I'm sorry. I'm getting super distracted. Can you guys quit this Kerbal space program shit, please? What's happening our chats become Kerbal space program memes because I said john madden That's it. Are you not familiar with this? I know the game, but I don't know what the meme is uh or no, it's moon simulator or whatever the fuck It's it's some space shit

And the people are obsessed with having a text-to-speech robot just say the words john madden over and over Moon Bay South, but that's what it is Okay It's funny to make a robot say the things you want It is And then you can use that robot to make the robot sound like people that's true You hear that uh jfk tell people to gamers rise up and all that shit I did see that I did see that did you see uh, did you see biggie smalls going

Uh going shopping for a super nintendo Yeah, yeah, yeah, he beats mario too. It was all a dream I'm so I I laughed and I was so mad at myself that I didn't see it coming Like I'm so upset. I'm so upset that I didn't like of course. I'm like, where is this going? Right, like it was funny and then he's doing the whole thing and I'm like, yeah, but what's the And he's being like why mario too like Fuck me. I I'm so mad. I didn't see it coming uh

yeah He used to read word-up magazine. He did um Clearly though, he must have been playing not mario two but mario all stars Since that's where mario two would have been available on the super nintendo. That's great. Say good genesis I got a I got a possible winner to your question willy Uh, that's uh romance of three kingdoms

Oh They've never swerved. They're they're up. They're up to 14 right now And they've been honest the whole way through the there are other spinoff games that are mobile games But the core franchise Is one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen Okay, okay Yeah, I guess I guess it's you know, I'm it's You can let the mobile slide. I suppose it's a different format

It's a different platform. Yeah, and then the vast majority of them are like They have the word mobile or touch in the title Yeah Don't bring that toho shit in here. Yeah, get your toho shit back out of the your your point fives and your And your your impending Right now and the last thing I need to do is scrub my walls for toho Antimony of forgotten flowers and Fucking whatever

Just nonsense titles Grab your thesaurus and just spin through it and Lend your finger on a word Uh, okay. Well, anyway, um The point And I believe there was one another was that I played I played Jedi Academy and it's back and you can go play it And you can jump online and you can do it and even though you don't have

The the lightsaber real mod You can still you can still play the game and I still had fun jumping back to it And going to the old maps and I and you do a create a quick create a character. I created my um My my Darth Talon look alike You know you can create a nice cool red twlech with uh With the btsm straps going on the leather on that's a good look for twlechs And then you got the twin sabers and then you can fucking do it up Um, and then you could also quick spec your force powers, right?

So you quick spec if you want to put into speed you want to dump into choke You can choke someone and drop them off the pits. That still works You can grab the grenade launcher and just interrupt a bunch of skirmishes going on And I assume that nobody playing will remember the old code of Finding someone challenging them to a duel and then the outside world no longer being able to hit you but uh It would be cool

To see some of that although you can just go into duel mode if that's all you want to do to be perfectly honest but I like the idea Of playing a free-for-all battle And then having two players go we are dueling In this free-for-all. No, I got this. You know That's always that was always really fun. It's super good That you can like just do dueling if you want like for honor, you know um

But I I definitely love playing one mode and creating a duel within that mode is super sick super duper sick Uh cross play cross play really I didn't know it had cross play. Yeah, apparently the pc players are just dominating the switch players Ah Interesting okay, okay Cool cool cool. So yeah, uh for those of you who hadn't I kind of just jumped on to this because it's something I know but for those of you who don't who weren't around or are missed out on the the early Early Star Wars games. Uh, yeah, man Jedi Academy is super worth it checking out Of course, it's dated. Of course, you know, it's it's an aged-ass game, but it's all this shit

But there's some fun stuff to just the movement in that and jumping off walls super jumping using the force to super jump over large gaps and you know Just getting used to your abilities and stuff. It's it's it's a cool. Um, it's a cool experience if you've never done it um The the the the lightsaber fighting is not particularly delicate when you're just kind of spinning around each other like idiots But it was what we did back then back then it was like the coolest you could get Anyway, uh So that dropped the other thing I did was

I took a look at uh this This pretty old game. So I uh, uh Did um, I played screen sheet again earlier and had so we had a good time with that That's that first person shooter where you don't have a body. Mm-hmm Uh, we played it a while ago a lot. We played it years ago. It came it was like, uh, I think it was like 2014 or so Where um, it's just like the only way to know where the opponent is is to peek at their screen on a local multiplayer split um

And then keeping in theme with that played a game called hidden in plain sight Which was really fun Hidden in plain sight is a It looks like it has ultima Ultima online sprites Or Or like Baldur's gate sprites kind of thing like old ass isometric basic bitch sprites super old looking game

It's got like flash font features going on like it's got really It looks like it was made in an hour, right? The game is not going for production value But the the the the design of it is have you ever played um any games where You have to like play where's where's waldo with like a crowd and then there's like There's like a real player. Mm-hmm. Do you know what i'm talking about? Oh, I do intend wario Game in wario had a mini game like that where you have to basically spot the the human player amongst out crowd of a I mean this sounds like a like a kind of a

Similar vein as prop hunt I don't know prop hunt prop hunt is a gmod game where you uh You you turn into a one object In like a warehouse and it's like a cup or a toilet or like a fucking, you know piece of aluminum siding And the guys are trying to run around and kill you before Uh before time runs out Okay, uh, well, so we play in a game like that. Um, that was a part of wario where excuse me not gaming wario

so this is Imagine if you took that wario where game and turned it into an entire um I played it with rooster teeth. No, I didn't we played we played deception we played deceit Deceit we didn't play prop hunt. Nope Okay, so whatever. Um, anyway There's a uh, uh, there's a crowd of of little like NPCs walking around and then

you Okay, apparently I apparently I played prop hunt. Yeah, you played it When did I play it? I don't know you did that's what people say that means that you did It means I did it gas lighting isn't real just fucking totally not real totally not real Let's see We played we played megaman we played Uh We played we played megaman we played uh that that deceit game played soul caliber soul caliber. Yeah, that's right

Mm-hmm You have uno woolly I have uno you have uno It came with your fucking xbox Oh Yeah, that I know uno was installed pre uno was pre installed on the xbox. So it's prop hunt like that It's prop on the game. No, no. Oh, oh god Oh

Just just abort this meme just just just to abort it just we were memeing it was a hole. It was a meme interaction Oh And then just it went the meme went over your head and now now we're okay But uno aside prop hunt is was prop prop hunt was a meme. No Because uno's the meme only uno's I know you know, I know uno's the meme But achievement hunter and playing prop hunt with them confused me because I'm pretty sure we played the seat soul caliber and megaman Oh Yeah, so

um Does does uno have a connection to prop hunt? Jesus What does uno have to do with prop hunt? Oh man, this is what it will eat. This is what emin feels like when you yeah, you talk to him Fair enough. I'm having a moment. Help me out There is a meme Yeah of two guys arguing on the xbox live

Saying you have uno. Yes. Yeah, I know that one, right? I'm asking about prop hunt. Yeah. Oh my god. No, what I No when I was Because you were talking about whether or not you played prop hunt and then I said you have uno implying That you were saying you didn't play prop hunt but people in the chat are saying that you did play prop hunt It is similar to the situation in which like the uno thing. Yeah There yeah, I know I told I got the reference to uno I got the reference to the joke But I'm now I'm still going back to whether or not I played prop hunt

I don't believe you because you asked me like what does uno have to do with prop hunt was prop hunt Because if there was a if there was a prop hunt to uno meme Then I would have I would have not known about that But I do I do know I do know that you have uno meme. I do know that that is bullshit. I don't believe you I know that meme from the 360 where you have everyone has uno free. Yeah, you are looking it up now No, I'm not looking it up. My phone is off. I'm standing here looking at you. I'm telling you I know that no you have a little you have you have a monitor. You're looking at it There is nothing on my monitor except only you're on the full screen at uno

My hands are here. When did I type anything about uno? I know exactly you were looking at uno. I can tell Okay, this is insane. Yes, it is All right, listen. Listen. Let's take it back. Let's slow it down. Let's slow it down I feel like I've completely lost my mind The The you were correct to make the joke you have uno That was a logical joke to make in this moment and I follow that I am now taking that part of it and putting it over here on this side

And I'm going back to the original assertion that I played prop hunt and I wouldn't like woolly There's a meme between uno and prop hunt. They were no. I'm not talking about uno anymore I'm just talking about prop hunt and whether or not I've played it And I would like some proof or a link to a youtube video of me playing it because I came with your xbox But Yeah prop hunt for g for g mod. Yeah Prop came with your xbox. It came with the xbox. Yeah, got it. Yeah, okay All right

All right, that might be the most confusing interaction I've had with you in like five years I'm not because I I'm not following through on your jokes road. I'm stopping the joke. No, don't do that To continue to figure out why I'm being accused of playing prop hunt. Yes, I know I know But the problem is is the yes ending in addition The yes ending in addition and therefore towards onward and so on and so forth I Yes, I just spilled a bunch of coffee into my beard. Oh Yeah, g mod is pre-installed on my xbox

I have played I own prop hunt. I have played it There's there is footage out there This level of confusion is so baffling. Let's just type in woolly versus Fucking prop hunt woolly versus not even it must have been older than that. Just type in the words prop hunt woolly Yeah, woolly prop hunt Are you there? Hiding as a carpet g mod prop hunt from jelly. That's you See you back. I was I was in the evil prop hunt finals. How did I forget?

I must have played this game. I've never heard before I must have I think oh hell, you know g mod 2 is coming, right? I heard about g mod 2 coming and then I immediately went What? Oh, it's the creator the creator stuck inside and he's bored and he's like, uh, what's the sequel you just g mod 2 Will it be compatible with g mod 1? Yeah, probably Because that'd be a lot of You know

Mm-hmm Oh my god, woolly. Hold on somebody's saying you're wearing a prop hunt shirt right now I'm playing i'm wearing a dream a dream hack shirt, but this was in fact one from the prop hunt finals Oh, yeah a dream hack. Yeah, that makes perfect sense Nothing goes over my head. I would catch it All right You want to play pop pop fuck fuck fuck No, I'm just gonna give up just gonna give up you're gonna give up. Yeah, I'm just I'm just I'm going a little bit deeper

I'm going best friends Oh, yeah, no, I never touched that game Hey two quote-unquote best friends prop hunt episode 169. Uh-oh Uh-oh, this is by chilled chaos. Yeah, two best friends prop hunt may 20 of 2015 And then episode 202 two best friends prop hunt. Uh-oh, that's uh-oh No, that's oh my god. There's just a This video is difficult to parse. It's got an A posing. Dr. Kleiner floating around Damn

It turns out best friends did play prop hunt two best friends though not super best friends Man like when you type in prop hunt in youtube the fucking thumbnails become like a fucking parody of youtube Like they're all they're like they all have like an action thing or an animated thing and a big red arrow towards something Chilled chaos, huh Shit my bad, I guess I did fucking Okay, the seat is prop hunt Prop hunt is the seat the seat isn't prop hunt the seat is the seat is prop hunt

We're prop hunting. No, it's a different thing Is it? Yeah, are you sure? Yeah Are you sure the deceit is not prop hunt? I am very sure What is prop? I we took you were looking at videos of prop hunt earlier. I didn't click any videos. I'm looking at pictures But what is baba? What is baba is you baba is prop hunt? Yeah, baba is prop hunt

Prop hunt is you am I prop hunt? You might be You came with your xbox Who is prop and why is he hunting? I love it. I'm in I'm on board I want to play prop hunt right now Fuck whatever. I was talking about We're in there. Yeah, you should play prop hunt on wally versus Is it good? No

None of the gmod games are good. Okay there my twitter's ruined It's gonna close this for the day Not even the one where captain america is riding the invisible motorcycle. That's okay. That's not a game But that's a gmod. I don't I don't I don't I don't know Who what what what grounds do you stand on to say that that's not a game someone made it inside of a game? Just because somebody made something that doesn't mean make it a thing At some point when he was taking the screenshots of the game to make that comic it was a game What the fuck you on today

Today is prop hunt apparently today today's woolly's day of like well some people have done it Yeah, well some person said it said it's a thing Someone could have made it mother fucker. I don't know anything. I don't know When I think of gmod, I think of flooding flying captain america and that's it That's what I think of somebody having a gman Getting a trash can that have a bunch of explosive barrels go off Hey, man, I missed a bunch of gman appearances. I only saw him once In what I was playing oh and playing black mesa

I was playing black mesa this week. He's all he's easy to mess man. He's really easy to mess Uh, so basically I've been watching um I was there's a couple of moments of like the one I got was I walked up to a boardroom and he was talking into he's talking to somebody and then Uh, I stared at them and it was indecipherable And then one of them walked up and then closes the blinds And then it goes back to indecipherable Discussions how far yet black man, so I just beat the tank. Oh, you're in there. You're fucking in there

That was not an easy fight. No But it's not Uh, but uh, I so I I overcame I overcame the challenge I was kind of waiting to see if there was a bit of a Like a a a thing to it And there wasn't much of a thing to it Um, I was just able to run into a safe little hut and use the hut for cover and lame it out And that's how I survived

How do you like the great saviors of the military? Yeah, stop them with the science team God the scientists aren't fighting back. It's so unsatisfying. It's dude So the most roided out angry soldiers ever I mentioned I mentioned too earlier that the expansion is called opposing force And you play as a military Yeah, that's a little more interesting in its concept now Can you believe that game came out in 98 not black mesa? I mean, but like the the general the the gist of it Hmm. So remember back on machinima the other show, uh, was

Uh freeman's mind I do That seems to be overwhelmingly Going hand in hand with uh, everyone's feedback on this which is I've never seen freeman's mind Neither have I and I remember when it was I remember when it was on machinima because it would go up Same time as like, yeah best friends play and then it would be um, like fighter pedia episodes as well And I remember being like man, this freeman's mind thing is blowing up the popularity is crazy um and

Yeah sanity not included that was the other one Yeah, there were a bunch of shows we'd see that pop up on that thing But uh freeman's mind was always like a huge huge shit I remember just just raking the numbers and yeah, it didn't watch it But I would watch it relative to like seeing how uh, my stuff was performing. Yeah, pretty much. I remember And it was it was the situation where when I was streaming black mesa, it's like Chat just explodes with like, okay, so the identity of this game to a lot of people is just Intertwined with freeman's mind like it is and this is where I so this this is where I was going, right?

So what was super interesting to me was uh, yeah throughout the the comments and feedback of everyone watching this Is a whole lot of people that are old that like Are era that played it and well, that's right life one from fucking, you know when it first came out on their old-ass PCs and Then there is an entire group of people that did not play half life But watched it in the form of an lp Through freeman's mind and that's the experience of half life that they're not quite as old

And I'm like what? wait Wait, you mean that replaced the whole game to you and it's like yeah Because it was a full playthrough of the game with the comment with the funny commentary track And all the visuals taken off and a couple of moments edited for like For time where he'd climb up over ledges or something like that that you couldn't do in the original game But I dear god it blew me away that it's like there's a ton of people that didn't actually play half life Their experience with half life is just watching freeman's mind

So the two are the same half life is freeman's mind to them and it's not the original official release of the video game that was played Very surprising to me. I had no idea it was that popular To the point that it created a separate fan base, you know, yeah, it's a whole it's a whole fucking Imagine it blew it kind of blew me away because i'm like yeah half life Everyone loves half life and like more than the the words gordon freeman in the chat were Like freeman's mind constantly constantly constantly exactly exactly and I was like I know like But like why why so to the point where like I even saw people going

Hey, what you should do is watch uh the woolly versus black mesa and then go watch the corresponding freeman's mind moments That's weird man side by side and I was like What about playing it? Why don't you just play the game? It's a good game Just play it Um, good game. So imagine imagine uh, uh, uh, if imagine like for example, I'd say Like a gigantic red versus blue fandom that

Had no halo master chief touch who the fuck we're sergeants. No halo touch whatsoever Besides a red versus blue context, right? That was the that was the that was the weirdest thing about going to meet the rooster teeth guys and I look back on it with a slight embarrassment because The only thing that I had ever watched from achievement hunter or rooster teeth ever Before we went down there Was the first season of red versus blue Right and I'm meeting everybody there and they're all really cool. They tased us with the with the with the cattle prod that was pretty great

and I met jeff right And jeff's like a cool like an older guy. I don't know. He's like 30s maybe early 40s And like we're talking for a bit. I'm like Oh griff and he like looks at me like like I'm a fucking asshole like I'm an idiot And I'm like And he's like, oh, yeah, that was a long time ago And I go

Oh Yeah, no, I mean sure sure Um nailed it. Yep nailed it Yeah, so turns out turns out that um half life one Is not just half life one. It's all so freeman's mind. It's also pretty much it's just like, um Um Half life one is a lot. It's freeman's mind It's counter strike and everything to do with it. It is. It is. It's day to feed everything that came with day to feed

It's team fortress and it's portal But that's why I was so surprised at the ubiquitousness of freeman's mind because It's all of the things you just mentioned Which are massive in their own right So I thought that like it would be larger than that, you know, and this was a popular Um thing that was a part of this overall thing that affected the industry, you know Uh, quite surprising then again, I imagine that like, you know in certain games cases like

I I don't know if this is a hundred percent true or not, but it feels like A lot of people's Uh, yakuza fandom is actually yakuza lp fandom. Yeah, so uh, the two not what I would think is uh, is uh, yakuza which is uh Uh, a lot of it seems to be the lps that happen on the old channel And the one the one that gets is deadly p. It's either uh, the one we did Or the giant bomb endurance run, but it's not it's not sitting and playing it and being like yeah It looks like there's just way more love for deadly premonition

Via me or matt or jeff gursman or ryan davis or vinny or brad than there is for Sicking itself and deadly premonition a hundred percent. It feels like it. It feels like it. So You know Like the secondary becomes the primary. Yeah And if you are someone who played deadly premonition has never seen any of that shit and was just like Oh, yeah, I remember that game. You are now the secondary. I remember quick driving outside his car All you did was play it. What a casual Casuals only playing the game

Excuse me Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's situations like that where like binding of isek is like Like fucking stapled to northern lions head Right, right, right like that that that that is as much his as it is the creators so That's uh That's that's crowbar. That's that's that's gordon freeman. You know, yeah

Um, well, I mean the half-life alex stuff Uh, I saw someone on a computer Drinking coffee throwing the cup and then evil act was on the computer. Okay. So what you need to do woolly is that you're Most people are probably not gonna survive Most people are not going to play. Um half-life alex because it's a vr only game Um, if you're not going to be playing half-life alex anytime soon I would really

Really highly suggest Just straight up watching that game's ending on youtube Because there's some shit in it that people want to see I'll tell you what I want to do I want to finish black mesa. Mm-hmm. And then I want to finish half-life too. Yeah And then I want to finish half-life two episodes Mm-hmm, which are really good. And then I want to finish half-life alex Yeah, maybe by that time we'll all have like sunglass vr's

So I'd uh I'd rather just if you're I'd rather just make my way there to those of you out there who don't have sunglasses vr's or whatever have have you Uh, it would it would be a very good thing if you care about half-life you You go watch a half-life alex ending and you would get something out of that So right around the time that I um right around the time that I Uh Took on the tank actually by the by the end of that session

uh, I I ran into a bit of an issue because I've been You know much to everyone's chigrin I've been playing half-life on a controller Mm-hmm. That's weird. And yep. Um, and then I had uh One too many really awful moments

And then decided to switch to the hybrid. Mm-hmm. So I've been running the hybrid Um, so what I'm doing now is playing Um controller in one hand mouse in the other And and you know that has improved my my my aim a lot The problem of course is that the mouse on my right Is Good for like if I do a quick look game or something like that for a little bit

I can play with that no problem, but like playing that way For an extended period of time is absolutely going to lead to like risk problems. I can feel the tension and I have Way too many friends that have had Way too many issues with their wrists and the fighting game community is no stranger to people that I've had to commit to hate boxes due to force so

In comes the entire chat and the entire Everyone Yelling about the cube Right the cube the cube the cube now now

That shit's ridiculous, but here's where I'm at It seems the gamer cube is not one piece of a cube, but in fact you pulled out right now a single Quadrant of the cube. It's two rectangular pillows that comes with the tray So You don't actually have to put the entire cube on all sides You can just put the one cube on the one side and box yourself into the other side And then you actually have to Sit further away from the edge of the couch

You can't put you can't put your armrest on the arm. You can't anymore Okay, well right now pat seems to be assembling the cube Um So, you know Here's here's the thing. I am not interested in my wrists getting bad anytime soon I've been fortunate enough to avoid the problems of my many friends that have had wrist issues So There's this right the other thing

That's a part of this cube world cube life Is that um I'm also going to because there's when it came to suggestions of like Change your setup entirely move it over to the dinner table. It's like I'm not going to play most of my games on A mouse because I also don't prefer to do the mouse and keyboard. I like a controller, right? But when it creates an issue like this one, then okay, let's see what we can do about it So you are cubed in yeah

Problem solved Honestly pretty much It's like cubes the only way it's like sitting at a desk only problem. There's only one problem and that's having a cat Now you don't have that problem. I don't have that problem, but the problem with having a cat Is that when your cat loves you Your cat wants to be close to you at all times Yes, and a cat will sometimes sit on your left and that's fine, but the cat will sometimes sit on your right and will take part of the rectangular cube for his own

And then in the process of being a sleepy little baby He will stretch and just claw the shit out of this thing Just really fuck it up So that becomes your new armrest basically pretty much And once this one's too fucked up to use like this, I'll just switch the other armrest And that's that What about just using one of the armrests and not actually that's what I do most of the time that's why I do 99% of the time Oh, you can get the couch master sidebot

ergonomic lap desk Couch master sidebot you say or the couch master scycon Titan edition I Just It's not it's not a path that I want to walk. I'm aware It's gonna go ahead and open up discord. There you go. Willy. There's your amazon link You get it

Wednesday, april 1st. It's called a couch master. I've told you this you knew that I did know that you thought when I said couch master that it was like my own little goofy name for it No, I thought the gamer cube was it was a part of the official naming conventions. Yeah, no That they would be smart to do that It's I don't know if you can tell but at the top of the thing it says it's a nerdy tech invention And has a giant browned couch master logo recessed into the plastic So, well, let me tell you something I've been cubing it up for quite some time now

You have have you I have and the uh reaction to this thing is universal It has been the same reaction every single time Be it page be it my friend Dan Be it anyone on stream that happens to get a hold of them

Right and what that is Is Are you busy for a second? Oh, no, what is happening? I need to I just need to ask you a quick question about something over Oh, no Is what is what is what you look at it? You go. Oh my god. You look like an asshole And then you sit in it and you use the mouse and keyboard and you go Oh, man, this is really good. Oh, man. I really feel like an asshole

This is the couch master. It is a gamer cube made for gamers You box yourself in on the couch and you use it Okay, it saves your wrists You can point her at me. I'm I'm in it right now. There is a product demonstration photo of a cool gamer And his girl Enjoying the couch master Gamer cube Do you think

Do you would you? Can I expect this kind of reaction? If I were to go and buy The gamer the gamer oh man. I'm gaming master so that I don't hurt my wrists using the mouse when I sit on the couch You're already wet just looking at it. Wow. Okay Damn All right. Thank you Woolly, I don't believe you. Okay. All right

Just get the stupid couch master and you're gonna use it and you're gonna sit in it with shame But free wrists Now I know that you don't live the life of self Flagellation and embarrassment that I live So it's it's it's a slightly different value proposition right but

It's genuinely very comfortable and useful Where the fuck am I supposed to keep this thing? Uh, I keep it next to my couch like I keep the I keep the um The tray on the coffee table in front of me and I keep the other the other cushion just next to here So I can cube and d cube Uh as I would This is also uh really good for arcade sticks genuinely No, my arcade sticks need to be in my lap. Oh, well, okay. Well, if you're a lap guy, that's fine

But you can you can also use it as like not like having a stable platform for your stick It also You're gonna have to trust me on this Mm-hmm it feels safe in the cube it feels safe In the cube it feels safe in the cube Nothing can hurt you when you're in the cube nothing can hurt you It's a safe space what everything you stand for how about that that's fine I'm thinking of getting a backup cube for when Elmo finally destroys this

Of getting a backup cube Well, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do if my cube breaks? Well, I have a promotional image for you From the cube here. I I know the one and I just showed it to no no not that one It shows your ergonomic posture With cube and without cube With lap desk. Ooh crunched forward. Ah bad for back

With the couch master leaning back relaxed green dots on your spine Go fuck yourself Estimated delivery date april first woolly You're gonna be even more mad at me when you sit in this cube and you're gonna be like shit I can't go back to not the cube Well, listen man Listen I am not

I'm not risking my wrists for anything and Uh, look at this. Look where my wrists are. They're they're perfectly. I am not risking my wrist of the fucking floor for anything Playing these mouse games, you know, oh, it's killer fucking Um, you know, whatever. Um, what was I playing? I was playing What game was I playing when I debuted the cube? Because it was a game I had to play in mouse and keyboard

And it was fucking killing me It sucked I think it was vampire the masquerade Where it was I'm still not gonna use I'm still not gonna use the keyboard. Yeah, you will. No, I won't Yeah, you will I don't We've been through this we've walked through it. Yeah, well part of the reason you haven't used the keyboard is because You didn't have a good surface for it. I hated keyboards back when I was sitting at a desk. Well, now you have a good surface for it. So There's a good place to learn. I know I know you can learn it

I don't enjoy it. Listen, you have a keyboard. It came with your computer. It sure did It's a laptop Anyway, I will not be bullied I will not be fucking bullied, okay No, but you will be bullied I will be I will be bullied. I will be bullied. I will not be yourself I'm telling you You can put me in the cube

You can't force me To use the fucking wasda You can't Hey, can we all agree that Dvorak keyboard users are psychopaths? That's pretty wild. That's pretty insane It's pretty it's pretty stupid Um, but yeah, I'm not risking my fucking wrists and I'm clearly playing more games outside of my wheelhouse Some of which will require Like non-traditional. Yeah, I'm else and and so I have to figure this out

Uh, that's just that that's just where we're at so We will find out I suppose Dvorak's just more optimal. Go to hell. We'll fucking Dvorak assholes You know the other alternative suggestion that came in what's that the steam controller. Oh, man I remember handing that to you and just scanning your face and I got everything I was looking for Well this day I do not I see people go oh man

It's such a great controller and it is like so customizable and it's like It feels like so you threw it under my couch and I don't and I'm pretty sure I threw it back at you And I don't know where it ended up Don't care Do you know where it ended up? Fuck. No, okay. Fuck. No. Well, I never got to try it So, but but you touched it, right? I remember touching it But I never I always but I wanted to use it in action to see what would happen So

By next week I suppose Expect a full review Tartarus pro from razor No, but expect a full A full look because one of those is in the mail as well A Tartarus pro or no a steam controller. Oh god. Check out this motherfucker. We'll we'll find out There's the end of your keyboard was The Tartarus controller

Yeah It's a controller, but also a keyboard. Oh, I know what these are. Yeah Yeah, I know what these are people were people were throwing these at me during the the Titanfall days Yeah, no, so I know about these and I know about the ones like this where it it it goes further to isolate the keys You need for wasd and shit and I get I get it. I get it I still hate it compared to a thumb stick Lm or even

Even a jlf. I'll take a jlf all day I I do not like flat wrist keyboard for multiple inputs. I I it sucks To me. It's not a comfortable thing and getting and I can tell from back in the day even playing the jedi games that we were just talking about and everything else that like Using this would I could get used to it so that I could probably do it more competently than not at all But I'm not gonna like it. I will have a preference for not this controller. Even if I can use it

Play the win man I compared it to a hitbox, right? I know how to play with a hitbox. I've I've gotten comfortable comfortable enough that I can do stuff with it I Don't want to but I can If you force me to I can But I'm not gonna pick it up my own volition Yeah, I stream the entirety of doom eternal on a controller To much gnashing and wailing of teeth the entire time

Yeah Because people did not like it. Yeah, but no it well it's It's weird living in a world where like folks I want you to experience sometime in your life what it's like when the thing that you want to do Is the opposite of what everyone wants you to do and what everyone is trying to do is bull you into doing it their way I want I would like someone to experience this and tell me what they think of that I hear you. I know it's what you do. It's not what I want to do Live and let live

Sometimes those people were wrong. Sometimes those people were right in a pvp situation. They're 100% right My dad told me to eat broccoli and I would enjoy it when I was older and he was right In a pvp situation. They're 100% right If it's optimal to your play and it helps you win better than others. I get it. There's no there's no debating that You ever play chivalry? Yes Try playing that with a fucking controller Right you fucking killed the second

um In a pve situation where you're not worried about that and it's just a matter of your comfort levels Is what it is who cares go fuck yourself Play how you're comfortable Hidden in plain sight is a video game Where there are crowds of npcs And you can play four players locally and you all are blended into the crowds And you are playing different mini games with different goals. So the first game is

One where you must walk amongst the crowd and you can only walk you can't run and either kill the other players or Touch as many bells as possible. There's five bells on the map in a in a um Square with a center point formation and you can either touch all five bells Or kill the other players as soon as you identify who they are. Oh cool

You yourself don't know who you are. So you have to find a way So you have to identify yourself amongst the crowd Right off the bat. You don't know where you start More than one round of this game. I was killed before I even found out who I was That's goofy as shit. It's kind of wild. All right So there's what that's the first game mode. There's another game mode where um, you can be either an assassin or a sniper

And you can walk around as an assassin in the crowd killing people While the sniper only has a crosshair that paints over the crowd and You control, you know, one of the NPCs and obviously you're killing people anyone you kill in the dark because the snipers the Crosshair is a spotlight as well Anyone you kill in the dark continues moving until you mouse and will show them in the spotlight. Oh, interesting So you only see dead bodies by the trail they leave behind

When you look at them not just by looking at everyone on the screen So you have to find Where the body's path went and then eventually see if you can find your target You obviously only get one bullet for them. In some cases you get three shots, whatever But a limited number of shots to take out the the player, right? uh, there's a fun game where You are all racing. There's a lineup of let's say like, I don't know 30 or 40 racers And you have to snipe and shoot the other players

or Or not or you have to snipe and shoot the other players if you can identify who they are While simultaneously controlling one of the racers By holding a to walk for pressing y to run So you have to similar you have to Identify and shoot other racers while making your own Blend in to the the crowd of of of people on the track Right, you got to play you got to do two things at once and it's fantastic

Really really fun. There's a couple of other modes. I think there's maybe like eight or nine in total But they're all really great ideas where You took this concept of blending into the npc crowd and maximized how many different modes you can get out of it With basic bitch made in one hour downloaded asset graphics And it's on steam it like costs nothing and it's it's a fucking it's fun. That's surprisingly fun. Yeah. Yeah I like I like games that are based around like sneaking around and lying yeah

There's one mode that didn't work as well Which was like there's knights and ninjas and the knights have to protect three royal NPCs and the ninjas can Have to assassinate them and that's like you can either stun the knights and the ninjas can kill Can get killed by the knights or whatever But it was a little bit too easy to just kind of you know, like game that system game the system on that for the most part But for either way, there's lots of different ideas That are pretty solid. The game is called Hidden in plain sight

Looks like it came out in 1990. No goofy spelling on that. No. No Looks and sounds like it came out in 1998 But it's really good gameplay idea You know, you can tell a programmer had a really good idea and no artist friends Yeah It's like when you could tell that the artist had a really good art and had no one who knew how to make a game Yeah, and all variations of that Shall we get into the news let's do it

All right Um, I suppose we can Uh, we can hit it off the top by continuing the story from last week and to be honest I hope that we no longer have to say many more stories In regards to game stop. I'm hoping we have one this week I'm hoping that clock resets won't be necessary But this week we have the follow-up

Well one, uh, the pennsylvania closings were apparently false But might have confused and convinced game stop to officially start closing 300 of their stores Which is fucking yeah. Yeah. That's pretty it's funny The false story leading to the real Good good panic good panics Game stop reportedly told employees to wrap their hands in plastic bags while they continued working during the corona virus outbreak Just put plastic bag on your hand and stick out your hand for the cash So what they were essentially told was, um

While staying open as an essential service being argued through Uh up to march 21st before they closed Uh, the after we reported on everything last week Uh between last week and this week there was a leaked memo From the corporate office where they were told Basically, so you you you you crack the door open Right and the customer is at the door customer pulls out their credit card and hands it to you You put your glass between you you guys's faces

Reach out your hand with a plastic bag on your hand and receive the credit card Take it back swipe it through Then invert the bag put the product inside of it And bring that bag with the card and that game in it out to the door And hand it to them with the game inside Be sure to only extend your taped plastic bag arm outside of the glass That sounds like it doesn't protect anyone from shit Sounds like

Why sounds like gloves would probably be Like the first thought to go with there if you're going to go down this stupid road instead of closing But evidently as established last week, they don't have that shit. No, man. No time for that well Thank god that the who And dr. Fosse have all recommended Plastic bags be used As covet protection. So here we all wait. They didn't oh, oh, yeah, that's no that's not real. That didn't happen

hmm Well, that's the safety measure they were given before again They had a widespread closure of a number of their stores but um And I believe it's at 300 were closed indefinitely. Yeah, they're fucked I asked a question last week about whether we were hearing The death threats excuse me Of a of a of an elk bleeding out

As it stares at its guts Mm-hmm. I believe the answer is yes. Yes, that is staring The elk is staring at its guts and it's currently going Maybe if I can put the guts back in with a plastic bag, I'll be fine Maybe Hashtag pray for edgy Pray for edgy So anyway, I don't want to talk about game stop anymore

Yeah, that's that's got that one from being funny to like outrageous to being depressing really really fucking fast Like we'll talk about near instead, uh, I mean, yeah, it's that's that's you know It's the kind of world game stop would have you live in in order to get their fucking hands on whatever Physical copy sales they can get because it is I just Like they won't come out and say that hey, man I need this

You know, they'll never they won't ever come out and just say like you don't understand We need this or we're done. Come on guys. Oh pop a game stop needs just to one more f of seven sale, man I'll suck your dick What'd you say? I got this trading card Ah rotten hell you fucking shit back company. Um, oh, yeah They're pushing this to the point where like it looks like a federal government might step in and really really Put the boots to them. I almost kind of want to see it

Because you want to see the boot on the neck Because like as the elk bleeds out you want to see the boot on the neck a little bit Because because like let's take Montreal for example, right, uh, which has an eb games Which i'm going to assume was uh, possibly affected by this or something similar premier just said like Basically came down extra hard on like no, this is what we mean by essential services and here's the list Are you on this list? If not go go eat shit Uh, and state of emergency got called for Montreal

Which gives the police the power to show up to a game stop that's open And go you were gonna close this shit down I imagine they actually just start closing it Like you could we're gonna close it and you can either be inside the store or on the outside of the store But it's gonna close Like when we when we get the lock on the door the lock is putting being put on the door Like where you want to be you can walk out. You can go back in pretty much Pretty much, you know

Yeah um Yeah, yeah, yeah tactical tactical state of emergency for the sake of allowing shit like that or whatever the fuck You know, we'll see it's it's it's it's not what you want to see but it's it's also like You know again when you cannot like Whatever we all know the deal and we all know that like, um Relying on the common sense of companies like this

Is not going to help the situation in any way shape or form. So there's a there's a real strong You're a Seinfeld fan, right? Sure. There's a real intense. What a shame coming in On the horizon Or you know like you hate to see it. Yeah There's a there's a real Vicious one of those coming in It's it's it's the it's the corporate version of the fucking spring break kids Yeah, you know

I mean shit. There's been all these crazy ass fucking laws. We've been looking at that basically turn Uh corporate rights into that those of people So this is just one step closer to that where you get to see people like behavior Where it's like get the what the fuck are you doing? I think the actual wildest thing that has happened Beyond all this is not business is going crazy. It's Well, you and I have played a lot of video games What you played bioshock one, right? What yeah rapture you played bioshock two, right?

Yeah rapture. Do you remember how ridiculous all that graffiti was? Like the end is nine and all that crap and how stupid it was I don't think it was No, I I didn't think it was stupid. I thought the place was pretty fucked up. I'm going. I'm going with something here Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was dumb and how like oh man. I can't believe people would be recording these audio logs and Yes, every of every little thing going down and yes, yes Oh, like there's a single newspaper on this bench and that's the saying city is shut down And it's like that's so ridiculous when you see it in the video games

And it's like here's photos of a real train station. Oh wait, that shit's all dead on absolute I will I will never complain about that ever again. Yeah mise en scene moments happening in real life Yeah, like shut down restaurants with graffiti all over him like I'd send us back to work or whatever Pay your employees. You got a bunch of Celebrities doing their Madonna audio diary of isolation and all that fucking shit

Turns out turns out They need people more than people need them And by they I mean us saw Me and me and Eli and and pagey watched a ds9 this weekend Uh deep space nine that is the star trek page. Never seen it. There's an episode. There's an episode. No, no No, that's no damn

Dead wrong Shit, I'm sorry quark quark. Okay. He's not me and bar No, he's only in deep space nine. Okay star trick are three Got it. Yeah more or less and um There's an episode of that in which the replicators Uh put a virus into everyone's food Oh

And quark who runs the bar? Uh ignores the star fleet order to shut down non-essential services Yeah, because he's like well the bar is essential. What's more essential than trying to relax? Yeah, and then the virus becomes airborne Yeah, and then they start and you're and we're watching it and we're all sweating And it's all just really really uncomfortable You know what was right next to jedi academy. Um god damn it. Wait. Yeah. Yes. No, you did it. Yes. That was correct

On the on the on the shop What's that? I was looking through things and then there was the digital version of the game pandemic Yep And I was like, oh and in the trailer for the game pandemic live action people

Are running with Beakers in their hands and looking at science science valves and papers And like it's showing you real-life locations and arrows are pointing off of cities Into various other countries and it's just like oh fuck off with this whole trailer Dear shit. Fuck Why did have to be like real live action shit and not just dumb like Animal crossing visuals, you know And then of course you get to the the play game style map

Where you zoom out and see the whole world and then it all just turns red and i'm like, yeah Okay, when do the dark events start? You want to hear a trip There's a game that comes out In a couple days About a certain virus hitting a city It's a resident evil game The intro cutscene

Is a live action news report Going the pandemic is spread faster than any disease in modern history Of course it and has a bunch of like police footage of like crowds and riding and shit And like it it it can create a situation in which you turn the game on and you're like am i did i fuck up and hit the wrong button Am i watching the news? Oh, no wait hit zombies. Thank god Never forget as we make all these kojima jokes That the man was once so on point that he had to edit the twin towers out of his video game

That's right because they were destroyed in the intro as Uh, new york got blown up. Yeah, so for the context of that Metal Gear Solid 2 was supposed to go gold on september 12th 2001 on because of japanese time zone stuff that gave them like Fucking 14 hours post 9 11 to rip a bunch of cutscenes out Which is why when arsenal gear crashes in the end of the game You just teleport on top of the federal building

Because it was supposed to go right through the world trade center. It was supposed to go right through a bunch of landmarks Um, and it and the game would have come out like a week after 9 11 and they were like, oh, man And we gotta cut that shit and by doing so it still predicted the future In so many other ways They pulled future they pulled predictions out of the game and it still predicted the future That's right. That's what i'm trying to say here So, you know, uh, anyway Yeah, that was um, that was kind of that's kind of wild and guess what pandemics are kind of the setting

for many, um Pre apocalyptic stories. So that's not going to go away anytime soon It's just gonna make everyone pull their collars a little bit as it happens Though there is the oh man With resident evil, there's a real like subtext to it. That's kind of terrifying which is the question of like the the zombie apocalypse in in uh, uh r e 3 and r e 2 takes like 15 days to get to the point that you see in the game

And you always read a zombie book. You always watch a zombie movie and you're like, oh, that's so ridiculous people would have fucking figured this out and Realized what was going on beforehand I mean, what you got a couple days before this and they were like, oh, do we you know what? Maybe that's not so unrealistic Because it's not about the best of us It's about the worst of us because you know that scene in dawn of the dead when she's the dumbest of us the shit on the news

And if this shit on the news is like random attacks, but it's like, oh, it's like two states over It's like, ah, whatever Right. Mm-hmm. And it's like, ah No, it's it's It's the old man with diabetes limping his way onto a plane To go down to fucking florida and come back Mm-hmm And me going what the fuck is wrong with my stepdad

What are you doing, man? Yeah, well, there's a lot of stuff going around. I recently had to pick up the phone and like How do I put this You know, there's that max volume you can hit with your parents. Mm-hmm. No matter how stupid they're being Mm-hmm. I had to hit that max volume with a family member recently because they were like, oh, no I just went out and got groceries and you're like, yeah Mm-hmm. You're old Mm-hmm. Stop that

For me, it's interestingly that I know exactly what you're talking about For me, it's not max volume. It's in fact low volume. It's very low. It's very slow And deliberate and controlled and it is you are going to listen to what I'm telling you You do not want to be in a situation where you regret not listening right now Mm-hmm You cannot look at your your your news report on on tv every morning and decide That's the only update I'm gonna get and then think you know what to do If you're going to continue to receive the news in not a faster fashion and rely on people like your friends to tell you

What's going on You're going to need to listen to me. This is what's happening. Yeah, you know, um Anyway, anyway um Yeah, so it's it's not about it's not about the the fucking the smart ones. It's not about the You know that the best of us. It's about the dumbest of us. It's about that man's a maniac. Why did it bite me? That's what it's about Yeah, really

But it's also about man arrested today for coughing on produce man arrested today for Uh licking car handles and getting his ass beat on a viral video kid thinks it's funny to cough in person's face and and uh rub their ass crack and and touch things People you know, I think you know, it's hilarious about this Everyone's morons have always existed exactly exactly and these and like it's like whatever what and it's just like it's a it is It is it literally anti social behavior, right? Because it's like, oh, yeah What's funny to me and what's hilarious is doing the thing that's going to currently make everybody upset

So right now, I don't care enough about you or myself or life I don't care about anything So i'm just going to do what's hilarious, which is to me right now making everyone mad at me, right? So the best part about that the best part about that though is that now we live in a world in which Those people I mean why do people do that? They do it for the laws. They do it for the attention, right? And what's the best way to get attention? Record yourself doing it And then it kind of solves itself like especially very recently

Like it's very against the law. It's pretty well. It's pretty awesome when You get a felony because it was literally recorded on your cell phone They uploaded and gave to people and we're like, oh It's pretty sick. It's a pretty thorough way to get your ass felonied. Yeah, great fantastic, you know um And of course, you know, it's like well, yeah, you got the clout you were looking for you got it You got the attention you wanted You know, are you happy?

So No Yeah, there will always be there will always be you can't you cannot Expect there to never be those people, right? man in some cases in some cases That like that's not that's not the pun that's not really much of a punishment Like there are some people that are just like so disaffected that they're like, yeah, but I don't care about even that part of it I don't care about anything. Fuck all this. I just want to ruin everybody's day

You know, and it's like it's kind of it's kind of funny because you can't do much about that Our ranting and raving about don't mess with people's food conversation Was prophetic Right Because back then we were talking about like the sniffles It's like, yeah, hey, don't don't tamper with food That's so that's that's kind of what's

super Infuriating Whatever you read like, you know, there's a couple. I don't know how many articles you've read There's obviously in more than enough to swim through everywhere, but there was a pretty good one. There was a pretty good one that I think it was it was just called Like how this will end Right Yeah, kind of thing and it just kind of breaks down like all the facts and everything and it's a nice nice little summary

thing, um, that was good But um, it kind of gives you an impression of like where things are gonna what things likely will you know Turn out to be in one based on like the patterns we're seeing and da-da-da-da-da And you know a probability of us like actually returning to life outside and then having like oh another second outbreak Okay, everybody locked down for a while. Okay. We're back out again Like it's not necessarily going to be just like hey everything's back and it's fine, right? There's going to be a long run to it and then after that initial period there will be Echoes and aftershocks that have to require further smaller lockdowns that will happen and all kinds of other shit, right ever present

Like overwhelming sense of like like, you know low level anxiety as to when it will pop off again A general sense of cleanliness across the board will be heightened overall Grandpa, I don't care about washing my hands. You shut the fuck up kid back in my day back in my we had We had to fucking deal with the fucking pandemic. You don't want to fucking die. You don't wash your hands. Do you kid? No grandpa Yeah, you know but uh Yeah, and all and all that stuff, you know

But but the the thing that you just kind of take the takeaway is that like a big part a big big big part In fact, the biggest part then the reason why it's such an issue the reason why there's never a full lockdown on these types of things is because The damage that one moron can do Is unprecedented. Oh, yeah, there are so many out there Have you read about the super spreader? Oh, yeah. Yeah 40,000

Yeah, one man 40,000 people right Hey, you were told to stay inside. That's cool. I won't do it. Okay 40,000 people later One guy, you know, so we always talk about one guy. Well, here it is Right, the entire planet is in the state. We're in Because the maximum one guy because of a couple hundred one guys a couple hundred one guys Can carry it forward With absolute like uncontrollable prejudice, you know, the oneist guy the one guy to rule them all

You know The final guy Yeah, so You cannot stop you can't stop the stupid you can't stop it Right, you can't stop the the person who gets told to not go anywhere But says I don't care about that. Fuck that, right? You can't you just can't and you know, you can But we don't live in a world where that happens in or in a country We don't live in a country that we're not yet. We don't not yet. We don't

Right, but that's that's the thing as long as one guy can continue to do that situation where that lady was like I don't care and the cops are like, no, you're gonna care Yeah Yeah, you will care you're right. Willy was just one guy not china lying to people for months. Obviously you get what i'm talking about Why be facetious? That's a bad talking about you're arguing in bad community spread in multiple countries dumbass. Don't don't don't argue in bad faith Don't be that don't be the one guy That's not you know Um, so this is where we're at, you know, anyway, I'd recommend that article go check it out

Hey, I think What's cool and fun to talk about is near yes Near hey that that original near game was incredible except the part you had to play it like it was a video game Can I I want to give a shout out to that me? My saw I want to say it was a hard times article possibly if it wasn't it was just a screenshot I might be confusing all of it in my head, but it was a picture of a man sitting at a cook with a controller and it said

Uh, huge fan of near very excited to play the game for the first time I saw one which was a a lady with a manuela Avatar that was like it's snowing in japan in march time to announce the the near remake And the follow tweet was like holy shit. What? But it was unseasonably snowing In in japan all the day of this announcement, which is kind of terrifying Well, what's yeah, they're gonna if the snow forms up into a giant woman Above the city then we'll have to now. Well, that's tomorrow

Sorry, no, that's uh, wednesday april 1st Is it? Yeah The scroll will hit us the scroll Never forget the scroll. Hey, listen near has been and near is back in a big way Um, more than anyone expected has been announced. Uh, sony announced sony. So I square announced one That apparently automata has shipped 4.5 million copies. Yay, which is fantastic news for a very good video game

So congratulations to yoko taro and crew Uh, second they announced a near re incarnation iOS android game Which appears to be a new game that has a key visual with young cayenne And there is a floating a floating covered meal There's also a bizarre quote as to it

Where, uh, the explanation for what reincarnation is is reincarnation is about a Yes, okay Interesting I wonder if I wonder if the phrasing of that is a double entendre. I assume it is what or is it a triple entendre? Who knows Interesting Hey, man, the existence of a chord uh means a lot

So you can do whatever the fuck you want you can do whatever The second thing uh was reincarnation and then the third thing in the big one here is near Replicant remastered So they are doing the original near And now maybe I don't know possibly There is going to be a combat engine that is better than the first time around because it will be fixed I would call that a certainty

Then near is a fixed However This is near replicant Not near gestalt. What does that mean? That means that you will be playing as older brother near protecting your younger sister Not old man papa near protecting his daughter So it's funny because papa near was only created by the publisher who was like

Americans aren't going to want to play as Wait, what? That wasn't yoko? No That was a publisher decision. Yep square was like, uh, no Americans aren't going to want to play as a little brother Protecting his sister that's stupid. They want to play as a big tough man And uh, they were like, okay, so that's why the xbox version is the one That has gestalt dude I was about to credit

yoko and team For reading the room so well that they realized culturally That the most significant type of bond that we would want if you want to make someone that needs to be protected Mamerood is not the fucking dumb anime brother sister trope It's a father protecting their daughter and how that would resonate so much better with the western audience Nah, man. I don't own own own each and Wow Well, that's awesome

That was that was a brilliant publisher decision Because it works so much better It's a much but but but what we're getting replicant because They never wanted to do gestalt in the first place. Sure. Okay That's that's a bummer I don't like that. I much prefer the old man I think I think I think a lot of the story makes way more sense It does old man

And can I just say that like even aside from the whole thing, right? Even aside from all of that even if they were both completely equal in your own in your eyes, right? Mm-hmm Oni chan How many times have you already seen that? Oh, man, so many times How many times have you seen my daughter? Well, there's a bunch and moons just taken certainly and there's a bunch of other things out there I'm not saying it's never been touched

but in Like this type of adam in a japanese video game context I find it's like it's so it's not anywhere near as close as the as the oni chan thing It's just a rarer scenario Not to say that it is rare, but it is rarer than the sister brother situation And I think it's awesome. I like that idea of the oni chan though, but oni chan though mammary So mammary your little sister

Like she's small It's just a bit of a tired concept when it just becomes brother sister protection. It's literally it. It's just tired Protecting your daughter It's just a little less tired You know, well, that's weird. I can't hear you anymore weird Um Let's see

You know and and I understand that there are those of you out there that'll argue for the brother sister thing Is the preferred one because of whatever reasons and maybe maybe it's what you're used to and you want more of what you're used to I prefer things that are going to do things that happen less often You know and i'm not going to get on a I'm not going to go on a thing about how we almost never see these types of fatherly Relationship games because that's not true. There are you can scrape and grab some you can grab some You know, um and or games that have that type of relationship even when it's not your, uh, daughter. Hold on a moment Looks like pat's gonna try to reconnect over here. Um

Bop bop bop Hello Sorry about that. I answered a text message on my phone and my headphones switched to my fucking phone. Oh, that's bad. Okay. Well glad you're back Um So yeah, I don't want to like pretend that like oh, there are no like fatherly Games out there because I mean fucking look at like I think lee and um um I think the walking dead

Oranges I think the walking dead season one represents that kind of relationship Right with clementine and lee. I think, um Joel and ellie is that kind of relationship Right, I think we can grab a bunch of games where that like you have that. Um, yeah silent hill, right? Um, isn't there Shit I had another game gotta work, dude Daughter father daughter. Oh, you're specifically going for daughter. Okay, uh

Uh, Amy fucking there's a fucking shit pole Hmm Yeah, anyway, you can grow like most of the yakuza series, right? Okay, you can you can grab but you can grab something You can definitely grab something, you know Um, yeah, what's your counts? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sure. Um bio shock, right? Uh What Infinite All right

You know, I was reading I was reading about, um, the the the The whole, um calm stock A backstory bit and the the the the making of um Whatever the fucking city's called Columbia, Columbia, Columbia, you know my memory um, and uh I'm like, you know at the end of the day that was a pretty sick setting

Yeah, it was all right pretty sick setting. Uh, I I was like, I was just reading back through it. I was like, I really liked this setting You know, um, there's no rapture, but it was still pretty cool. It was no rapture. It was no rapture, but Columbia was pretty cool Um, anyway, so yeah, this this type of relationship has been explored and we've seen it in places, right? Certainly um compared to The infinite lists of Oni-chan Examples out there. I much prefer the fatherly daughter relationship and uh, you know, I I didn't realize it You gotta get your sister ready for boys by brushing your teeth It's a whole genre, right, right, right, you know, you know

So, um, that's the announcement There was a pretty there's a pretty sad webcomic that was like, uh Brother and sister were like, yay, we're gonna be so happy. It's like, oh, let's tell father It's like wait, who and then it just cuts to the um, the the flower faded away On the ground You know 10 years ago Yeah um

So that's what's going on with near When it comes to I was talking about what I was origin why I found to star wars The reason like I went and I saw that was that was up and available What I was originally looking for was what I thought was going to be out Ninjala Have you seen Ninjala? I have not I'm gonna pull it up right now Ninjala is Splatoon

Free to play plus shinobi strikers. Basically. It seems like it's a gung-ho game And this was just announced as a switch thing and it looks super red And I that that's aggressively splatoon It looks really cool. Um, I thought this was going to be out March 27th, which I was with dildos. What's this? You're you're you're kind of like city ninjas and you're hitting each other with a bunch of little Goofy goofy weapons and you're using bubblegum to like Do crazy ninja tricks? Ninja gum, I believe it was announced a while ago. I forgot about it

And then they basically just kind of said yeah, it's about ready to go. It'll be back in uh in may But I thought it was march. So I was like, oh, fuck it's out right now. It's completely different. Really? So then I went to look for it and it wasn't there and I was like mother fucker goddamn it I don't know man. It looks I like it. I like the style. It's this platoon style. I like the wall running I like the air combat. I like the fact that like fighting is direct I I like the fact that it's like literally just Fight and clash with the other players and that you have like that kind of the little sword clash moments

Where you're like one two three and then you got to you know do stuff. I like that um It might be a little bit of that gunslinger stratos kind of vibe a little bit of again shinobi strikers as well With a bunch of different weapons and possibilities looks like a splatoon and Monday night combat had a baby. Sure. I'll take that comparison in there not as quite not as much of a gun thing I'm seeing a lot more melee But it's definitely a little bit of that I compared it more to shinobi strikers Right. Yeah, shinobi strikers definitely felt and had a lot of the flow you're seeing here with Um spending a lot of mid-air combat a lot of wall running

Um, you know what else comes up guns the duel Oh my god Can we get through one podcast without you saying guns the duel? When's the last time I brought it up? Last podcast when Last podcast. What did I say? When did I say it gun you were we were quiet? And then you said guns the duel and I I didn't say anything and then you said it again more softly And then we moved on to the news I think you're confusing

your hauntings of me Which I'm quite happy to say that I'm haunting you with guns the duel as you sleep I don't You're gonna find it installed on your computer and you're gonna wonder how it got there. No, I'm not You say that

I do say that but then what happens when you see it I won't wonder I'll be like you told page to download guns the duel when I wasn't looking and she did it Because she thought it would be funny and fuck with me And then I'd be like page with the hell and she'd be like, yeah and run away Like that like a scooby-doo villain Yeah, I guess that'd be the way to do it and I'll be like curses Like that's that's absolutely what would happen If you really want to gas lightly gas like me you should tell me that I have guns the duel already

You're playing guns the duel. Yeah, I came with my pc It's pretty fucking good It was great until the cheater showed up So what was that never? Ah took about two weeks Hey, hey, I'm not the only one many people fondly remember that game while running butterfly in

Bullshitting it actually became a game. Here's the here's the thing It became a game where uh the initial design was like, you know, this crazy It was a better matrix game than fucking any matrix game but then It became a game where um, you had to do like movement breaking strats To to win and to get better. So like there became like a like an unexpected tech sort of situation that popped up from the game And then of course it led to like big big big cheats. So

Whatever all that to say that game has been popping up when people are looking at ninjala So that has also a a little bit of the ingredients sprinkled in possibly but either way. I'm really excited for this I don't know. It's hard to put my finger on Exactly what it is about this game that makes me just like go like yes It's that it's melee It really is a big part of it. That's all it is dude. No, no, no I love the art style too and I love yeah, but I'm saying like if splatoon was just melee you would love splatoon so much I absolutely yeah, you're right. You're right. I would I love splatoon

But I would I would go hard on splatoon if it was you're just a total mark for melee combat overshooting combat and Big fan of big fan of melee. That's that's 100% that the only change but I also love needs to happen I also really I like the aesthetic. I like the aesthetic, you know Um, I dig I dig the the characters and the character creator I saw I'd like the little things you can you can customize and whatnot because in splatoon you can't really customize your inkling Like a ton ton ton you get a lot of clothing options Um, you got a can full of hairstyles Um, the clothing is pretty the the clothing is pretty expensive in splatoon the the the the hairstyles are a little bit more

Just like okay. Well, you kind of look like a splatoon thing Here I kind of you know, I'm like I'm looking for a lot of all of that So I don't know we'll see how it goes, but I'm down. I'm down. I'm very excited for this So weird news because the game is not out and it hasn't been announced It's just you made the mistake of thinking it was out Yeah, I saw I saw the trailer I went oh fuck and then I and then I saw what I thought was mar 27 And then said may 27, but I you know who also made a mistake thinking something was out What?

Square Enix That's a good one. That's a bad segue. It's a great segue. They didn't mistakenly think it was out It's a great segue. They announced that it's going to be out early It's not at all. What happened. Yes, and god damn it. You're fabricating information. It's a god. It's a fucking it's a Sometimes woolly people exaggerate situations for humor You mean absolutely everything you say Yes, sometimes every time Final Fantasy 7 will be coming out earlier if you live in Australia or Europe because obviously

COVID related shipping issues will make it such And if you're in America, it's probably going to ship at the same date But basically they put out a big announcement and if you cut all the fluff out of it It just says Europe and Australia get it earlier We're shipping this shit now Cool shipping it now Because uh, we have no idea what it'll get there cool So hopefully it'll get there people in Australia and Europe might get it

Significantly early cool Who has the balls? It's great. It's great for everybody Everybody that'll get it early. It totally sucks for somebody that is getting it digitally and has to Abide by like embargo rules, even if I did get it early Who is Who is Who is is is

Risking it all To go get that early copy Tons of people I Would tell you not to it's not important I'm content to download the file. Yeah, although 100 gigs is fucking massive. Let's be real. It's big. That's a big one Yeah Um

Anyway, also, it's the biggest fucking remake release of all time, but you know, uh It's like hey, man I can I can wait You know, I'm sure it'll do fine. I'm sure it'll be okay But you know me I've also like I just I've never had the I need it in my veins drug feeling like the the release excitement has like

Something you know what it's this it's it's this job Right prior. I want to say prior to this um You know the the the the midnight releases obviously some of those lineups some of those things were just like Absolute must gotta get it massive crazy excitement for the things because here's the other bit I think it was also because like I had a narrow scope of what I was interested in. I mean What? Okay, narrow had a narrow you had a narrow scope

Of what you were what that's crazy Compared to you that's ridiculous and everyone else that listens to this Yes Compared to other people. I know that played video games It wasn't the case you still have to understand that you and a lot of and everyone else that listens to this represent a very hardcore video game playing Group of people that cover everything or if not everything a lot of things most things stay on top of the industry, etc A lot of people not that much

I was in a place that was in between those two paying attention to what I cared about And hearing about and working on testing things. I didn't necessarily care about but was still aware peripherally of them You know what I mean No, what? Okay, well, no actually, I would like to dispute you have totally always been like this regardless of the work because I remember you getting Everybody getting their copies of mgs3 which we were all very excited over

And you refused to play it until you get get your hands on that special fancy limited edition that took you weeks to get Oh the red box Yeah, the red box you are a weirdo in that you were like no I want to play this version at this time in this way And I will fucking wait and there's no excitement to be had unless I can have it the way that I want Well, okay, the the that box version Definitely like doesn't represent most of the situations that I find myself in with this stuff, right? But I usually do find myself

um Because that like I do I usually do find myself, uh I don't remember what you're describing by the way if that's what I said. I'll take your word for it Did I it's not what you said it's it's everybody was playing mgs3 Did I have a copy did I have my copy? I already know you you you were you were trying to you the copy you got from Supposed to get from GameStop never came in right and you were scrambling uh on ebay to get that red box Right and it was this it was it was it was like the culmination of all the most annoying parts of your

Of your personality because because it was like weeks of oh man. I'm so excited Followed by everybody else was playing it and we'd all be talking in the club space You'd be like guys guys shut up guys shut up. I can't play yet. I gotta get my red box Guys and I remember like okay, so I didn't I'll just lend you my copy and you like no No, it has to be my red box. No no no wait hold on so you guys were in the middle of playing it And I didn't buy a second copy instead of I didn't my copy came in My copy didn't come in so I I instead of when got that one Yeah, you you you went to eat it again because I had this red box

Right, so I didn't have the money to buy a copy to just play for that two weeks And then wait for one took you my copy and already beaten it. You didn't want it. Did you? Yeah, you didn't want it. You were like no, I want my red one You acted like me dude. I really I really don't believe you but I have to because I don't I don't remember it. All right. I'll give you a different one Do you remember do you remember the the fourth a session? Of recording god of war after matt had walked. Yeah. Yeah, and I was like man We gotta fucking get this up to three recordings a week definitely

No, and that's why I'm saying there was a difference When it came to us doing this stuff for sure. Hold on. These people don't know this story. I won't tell the story okay, because because I was like we gotta get this up to three Recording sessions a week we bang this out in a second. We'll have tons of time off and you were like pat I know you just want to play god of war Like we don't need to the work is fine. And I go of course. I want to play it

It's a brand new video game It's fun Don't you ever get excited for video game when it come out? And you're like no not really. I was like you don't do I said no not really Yeah, I Like don't you ever bring a game home and you're like, oh, I'm so desperate to play I've been waiting two two years and then you're like ah and you just play it until it's done And you're like no not really and it's true. You don't do that

You get it and you play not to the level not to the level that I take it home and play ahead as you did with Other lps Yeah, that's right. So, you know If we're going like like there's a level where it's yeah We're doing this in the context of recording it and then there's a level where it's like well Also, I'm going to take it home and not necessarily stick to the place We're at when we're recording it. Oh with god of war. I did I didn't play ahead. I just played it to the side fair enough But if you're throwing me under the bus realize that many other scenarios

It was us arguing the inverse when you couldn't control yourself. That's correct. So It goes you were like, hey, dude, we're supposed to do this on stream and I'm like what we'd be doing it on stream if Recorded this for five days a week Then we'd be done And then motherfuckers are like, hmm. Why does it seem like pat knows exactly what's happening here on this level in this game? Why does it seem like that happened? That happened the once and it was time that I actually said it and every other time people called it there were morons

There's the time I walked into the forest and blood born and got the achievement. It was like shit I was like shit Turn off achievements. We'll just predict. Oh shit Okay, well Anyway All I'm trying to say is the woolly hates video games and all I'm trying to say doesn't care about playing them Pat is the greatest pretender Of all time

I am pretending in nothing other than the fact that I am like physically large and brave and competent and smart and handsome and funny Your gamer game aside from all of those things your gamer cube can't save you from your lies pat

And you're safe in the cube That's the that's the greatest lie I've ever told Fucking full of shit. Anyway um, what I was trying to say was that ultimately, um Yeah, I have I have um, I have big I have big excitements for things, but uh the the like There was a time where I'd be like I'm gonna go out of my way to get my hands on this like 48 hours earlier. Let's drive to Burlington

Let's drive to fucking platzberg to get rock band to get rock band ahead of time, you know a month is a long time though That was a month that okay. Okay a month a month. It was right there a month early is a really long time I stand by that right there. I stand by rock band in platzberg. I stand by that was so ridiculous. Yeah um But when it comes to like a matter of a week or less and it's not like If it was as simple as like, hey, take the metro down to this store and buy it here instead Sure, why not? It's gonna take you half an hour. You go get the thing, right? If it's anything a little bit

More troublesome than that then I'd be like, eh, you know I it's okay I'll I'll I I'm I it won't make that much of a difference to me. I'll be okay, you know Let's let's then you should see the rackets. I try and run to get fucking codes early I imagine I know I know because I know that it's like You know, it's there. It's a part of what it's what you are. So I get it. I know that's what it is. There's also, um All of this rackets by the way have failed. There's also the goose goose egg on this week the stuff when it comes to, um um

Like amazon pre-orders being like you get to have being discounts after they're announced alongside game Award shows or things like that or whatever it was And I remember like you guys would be on top of that and like Liam would be on top of that and I just remember being like man, like I'll just download it when it's up on the store. I'm cool with that You know, that's coward shit. I'm fine with it What if you could get it like eight hours early, which is a great use of a vpn service by the way I hopefully I am Uh free to do things in those eight hours and not already busy doing other shit

Here's the problem. All right, and this is a mental failing of the people that do this So one yes, the reason I got express vpn is so that I could, um Unlock steam games on australian time um if they're totally worth it, but The problem is will be is that I So resident evil 2 comes as our resident evil 3 comes out on friday, right? If I get a preview code from capcom, that'll be thursday for me and I'll be able to stream it, right? That would be nice not expecting it, but would appreciate it, right?

However, that leaves me in my schedule A tuesday and a wednesday to stream I currently don't have games listed for a tuesday and wednesday to stream Because all I can think about is how I don't care About that shit I just want to play re3 now Right and anything that I play i'm going to be like, huh? yeah, but uh

I don't want it Want my ah and you start to flail your arms like a baby I am not at your and you put your diaper on yeah I am not go. I'm not any of that I am not envious of that desire and the fact that you can't enjoy anything Because you are so impatient that you can't wait for this thing to come out Yeah, it's like when when somebody net when you have an ice cream cone and the guy next to you has an ice cream cone That's two scoops instead of your one scoop ice cream cone

I would rather throw my ice cream cone on the floor and steal that person's and fail Then eat my ice cream cone if I can also get real And ignore your nonsense Because that's what we do here. It's it makes sense, sonny. It's it's it's all it's all a thing Because that's what we do here There is also a bit of a of a um What's the right word for this So

It's kind of funny coming from me. I suppose right but hype culture Yeah right where It will have to deliver on the expectation when you grab and binge it on day zero and Like the and the what you what you're what you're amassing to in your head almost Will never be delivered on in that way And also it forever continues to exist after that, you know

It's not going anywhere The only risk but the only risk of course for people like us are that we hit those spoilers before we wanted to I want it now That's that's it That's it. That's about it. Do you want to hear the most pathetic attempts to finagle a code ever? I'm not even sure I contacted the pr person who was responsible and was literally like Hey, hey nice lady Some of my friends already got it and they're making fun of me

Do you know what wave my code is going out with and they were like later lol and i'm like damn it Don't worry Don't worry. You're still slated for next week and i'm like, but they're making fun and she was like, haha You sad sad little man I am not envious. I am not if you don't if you don't hustle this hard you miss out You miss out you have to you have hey listen If I can get a big release Even three hours early

I will gladly stomp my feet and fill my diaper And you know what the benefit of that is clear because like the people show up for it It's it's not just For it's not just my rattle. It's also my job people show up for it And if if you don't get it early or on the day that you were promised Then they The people making the game

Are responsible for taking food out of your mouth That's correct. They're ruining your life and your livelihood And the audacity of them is disgusting I have a bunch of flailing little baby arms To wave in their direction Darkside pat says it's the game company's fault for the game not coming out on time. It's ruining My don't you dark side pat me No, I think i'm don't you no, I think i'm gonna

The game's not out yet. How dare you how dare you ruin my life I can't believe That you Would ever compare me in this way after that death stranding lp Hey, man, there's a little bit in all of us Also, if you think that's bad wait for uh Wait for the the fucking wait for the gunplay in in in half-life. Yeah, I can imagine with the controller That game's hard and old

Oh, man, I suck I suck. Oh, man. I just I I just saw I just saw somebody kill it and put this whole conversation on a pedestal Sure, and it was a guy in our chat named louis Who says pat using vpns to get games early while woolly is playing half-life a decade late Couldn't sum them up better. I suppose so I suppose that is dead on But you know what?

I'm having a blast. I'm loving it too. Then it's great Yeah, it's great. Everything's great You should play animal crossing it'll really chill you out. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good A decade later, hey animal Check it out Yo, hi. Hi fucking I got I got there's an there's an xkc comic that totally references you

Which one or describes you okay, it's the one where he's playing every all games on like a 10-year fucking cycle So that you can only the all the all the xkcd guy has to do is you know Pick up the the latest and greatest games from 10 years ago and technology advances at the same rate And you just get the best of all worlds. I said, oh, there's only one problem And it's like flash forward to like 2018 and they burst through a door and goes guys the cake is a lie Right, right, right, right. Yeah that see now that person's an asshole for thinking that that's going to even have the same You know impact in any in any way shape or form like you don't don't show up there being all like isn't it hilarious?

A novel like no idiot. He says as he still giggles top is fed Um Top is fed is still relevant woolly. I know but legends is going nowhere Min made me feel stupid for laughing at that because he's like, yeah, we're not fun. We don't find it funny anymore It's it's an old joke. It's 10 years old. Yeah league of legends players the most subhuman of internet asshole Well, you know, they play league of legends like it's a real thing to do Mitter feed, you know It's it is what it is

I yeah, I'll probably play the fiddlesticks update. It looks good. You know, um Yeah, and I you know like it's It is what it is like I have I have some patience for it and it's fine. Um, and uh to the you know, there's there's the absolute clear like, um business downside Of it where it's like, yeah, dude. My style is not is not made for big old gang bucks, you know what I mean like

my way of going about it is um not conducive to the turbo views um But it's me It's what I am it's real. It's not like I'm not

Ewww authenticity It's like you would I can't fake it I'm gonna you know, it's what it's what I do. It's what I'm interested in. It's where I go with it It's unfortunate that it doesn't lean towards Maximum growth potentials. I wish stonks would go up But that's where we're at You know, well, you could make the stonks go up if you showed up at 11 30 a.m on a sunday to talk to daisy may I should do that you get you get you get 92 bells to turn up

I could also deep dive into Raid shadow legends and find out why people are calling it the standout tactical rpg of the year Not just another click-and-shooter click and click and click. Oh, did you get the fucking email? Uh, I mean probably It's I I recently opened up a specific business email because somebody I knew got the Raid shadow legends Email and I didn't and I was pissed off. Okay, because I felt slighted by Raid shadow legends Yeah, I'd I'd have to go check and see but possibly possibly possibly not depends fell personally slighted

You know depends on whether whether you're uh Whether you're you're you're big money or not, you know That's what it is, you know, I talked to a lot of people in this business and a lot of them are like, oh man I got contacted by such and such. I don't know if I'm gonna do it And I'm like every time I'm like just fucking do it. Just do it. Just fucking do it What do you have integrity? What the fuck are you doing? Shut up? I forgot buy it buy it buy a buy a fucking candy bar You want to see how bad I am at this check it out

I forgot at the end of my own week to tell everybody to check out what's going on right now So what's going out what's going on right now on woolly versus is how black mace is going on cotor two is going on Cotor two is fucking a great. We just we we um, we finished up with sonic robo blast 2 And you know what you know what I I I I have to give a little post game on sonic robo blast 2. It was super fun It was a nice little quick and otherwise homes wholesome feeling lp But I made the mistake. I I regret talking about it On the podcast preemptively before going diving into it and I also regret stepping into a minefield of

sonic adventure versus classic sonic war because it ignited something. I did not want to ignite and yeah, well unfortunately me feeling Uh, me describing the the whole like alternate universe thing and all that shit or whatever Yeah, it a whole lot of people that are so tired of that conversation We're just tired to hear another person going into that same tire. They're all The other thing is that there's a lot of people tired of that conversation There's there's way more people that will never tire of it fair enough, right? I in fact Yeah, I I saw a point-by-point detailed essay. Uh yesterday

Uh posted on on the discussion about robo blast 2. So yeah, uh, will you're fucking stupid totally? It's my mistake for even touching on that line that landmine because what I ultimately wanted was just a A fun wholesome lp with green green Uh style Grass and blue blue skies, you know, I just wanted a I just wanted a wholesome sonic game lp And uh, I shouldn't have touched on that. So that for some people even made it to the point where they're like, you know I gotta check out. I can't even enjoy this lp knowing that he thinks Sonic adventure one should have never happened, which you know, that's not that's like the joke

But in any case it was it was a mistake to do that to remind it of a statement by Jeff Gerstman Decades ago on one of their podcasts in which they were talking about fanboys And he described that when he was EIC of games of a game spot Uh, and the dreamcast was coming out that the absolute craziest people were the sega people And that there was no comparison

They were orders of magnitude way crazier than everybody else And then when the dreamcast got discontinued most of those people went to nintendo Because a bunch of those games would still come out and uh, you want to talk about the sonic adventure series and classic sonic and all that shit They come right the fuck out. Hmm. There is a personal signifier in those terrible games for idiots That a lot of people really like like

Grab on to comfort branding, but but I but here's the thing I argue that if you are tired of having a conversation and then someone comes in and then jumps right into that that Long dried pulled apart vulture field Uh that you know if someone goes oh Jesus fucking christ and then they pour some tar on you Like 10 years later. I think that's what it is I think the funniest thing on that is that If you're actually one of the people who's been like actively having that argument for a long time like I have You get to a point which is like

Like even more infuriating than anything you could ask or talk about Which is just you hit the point of total dismissal, right? right um And somebody goes Like no sonic adventure one was really cool that last level was really cool Open up your heart's a good track and you're like yeah open up your heart is a good track Game's still garbage and the only reason you liked it is because you were six. You didn't know any better Yeah, and then anything that they say after that. I know that's that's nice

That's nice So the point the the fact that the earth was salted to the point where someone was straight up just like I I don't want to watch this anymore or follow any other episodes of it because that Sentiment ruins the rest of this was like. Whoa that's salted earth I didn't know about those people is They can't help it. They go back every time going Maybe uh, maybe you'll change his mind on this one Well, I hate it

I'd like to think of it this way I live and learn Yeah, yeah, I live fight for the edge tomorrow so That's how we do it But so all of that available on woolly versus you can also tune in on twitch where uh On woolly versus as well. We are ongoing with you know the various Current things like I said, and we also had like some fun shit with like salt party

We the doke upon LP is getting even more infuriating and wild so that continues And it is my pleasure To announce because I can confirm that it is in fact up and available That if one were to go to tiny url.com slash castle super beast shirts They would see the the shirts that we Have which include, uh, you know the the woolly versus and the pat stairs at and the castle super beast shirt But a new shirt is available A new shirt is available

The highly requested And finally a finally ready to shop ready to ship. Excuse me Get into fighting games shirt Is now up on store.roosterteeth.com. Well, I made a tiny url link so tiny url.com slash castle super beast shirts You can see that's nice. You can see all of those shirts So if you are interested in grabbing The get into fighting games shirt You can go do so

It is ready to go and uh Fuck yeah, I'm super happy that it's finally it took it took a while It took a while. I was really really, uh, are you doing that thing where you're like, come on guys. Come on. Yes. Yes. Yes Because people like were literally like not like chopping it then heal and then they crawled up the leg and then I lost I lost the fucking I like like people were going like really like what the fuck is taking so long, dude And I'm like, I wish I could just press the print button and go But I can't it's got to go through their factories and their shit in the print and the

Uh, we've we've got at least a couple more coming down the line, right? Uh, there were uh, there there was there was some talk about stuff for the rtx's So, um, we got to uh, see what happens with that because obviously schedules are now all a little a little up in the air but um, you can check it out and you can rock a shirt like this which tells everybody Uh, what they should be doing and also lets them know. Hey and check you can also check out this fun show It's the name of a show get into fighting games

But it's also a thing you should be doing and that's what I that's what I wanted. I wanted the idea of like It's like, hey, it's it's it's you know, it's a name, but it's also a a command Or a suggestion It's a command Get in So, um, that's uh tiny url.com slash castle super beast shirts

It's probably the easiest way to uh To remember that And uh, fucking you know grab that and if you like and uh, yeah continue to Uh, show these rooster teeth folks Down in the texas that it was not a mistake to associate with our ilk Well, I mean if the last couple podcast titles didn't stop them. We're probably good. I know I know but I probably good, but I it's it's deep down It's a deep down, you know, it's there

It's all ever since that pc gamer article. I'll never not think about it at least a little bit So we're in The one where we no, no, no the story about how um, they wanted to recommend us for uh recommended the podcast But the list of titles was just too fucking cowards You know cowards and then there was the second one, which was when uh hunter recommended us for a big michigan convention who went to go check us out to see what we were about And uh, he said he wrote please bring super best friends to the con and then they replied said hey hunter

I listened to their material and I they swear a lot I listened to a minute and counted at least 10 times where they referred to sore bodily orifices in a profane manner We run a family friendly pg the pg 13 style show. I would not consider them appropriate. I'm gonna pass. Thanks So it's it's it's all that to say, you know all that to say that You know by all means if you if you're feeling up for it And if you're one of the folks that's been waiting for it grab one of those shirts and

And and support and let the people know let them know Let them know that we weren't a mistake It was a good. It was a good I was not a mistake Getting wrapped up with the likes of this shit Was a good decision Thank you and uh

Please have fun playing fighting games Okay, well anyway, um The that leaves us with our story about Uh, Castlevania season four being confirmed fucking shocker I'm amazed I am not surprised at all. I lied I

Guess we're good. That was a that was a lie. We're just gonna we're just gonna stick with the crew It's just gonna stick with the crew till they ring everything they got out of it and then I'll skip forward a little bit Man, oh, maybe you know, maybe Oh, I guess it's up to um Fucking god, what's his name? Um amazing writer to decide That guy, um, you know that guy Hey

Oh christ mountain blade came out now everyone's gonna yell at us to play mountain blade warren ellis Oh that guy warren ellis Yeah Man my fucking brain sometimes dude anyway warren ellis is great. It's okay. It's not like you need to use your ideas Uh, it's not no the problem is that I need to do them live No, just fake your ideas That's confidence trans metropolitain is a really good comic book and a really good, um A

Graphic novel that I would highly recommend to you guys check out if you want to see a wacky ass crazy sci-fi future with some Massive corporate dystopian underpinnings. It's enjoyable My friend my friend Pedro comes out on april 2nd for those of you who That rings a bell That was the game where you are, uh, you have you control two cursors as your character jumps and flips through um a bunch of like Kind of a side scroll uh black

You throw a couple of like gun rooms like almost like a hotline miami tell situation except that side. Yeah, Pedro's a talking banana Pedro the talking banana and you jump and you flip and you shoot and you twin you you gunslinger. It's guns. It's gunslinger the game Yeah gunslinger the video game. That's what it is Uh, you do lots of John wooing through this and uh, I had a fun time playing when it packs So it's worth Worth noting that that's about to drop on april 2nd My friend Pedro which is a really weird name, but I guess it's more memorable than you know, um Double gun barrel fun

Or whatever else you'd call it You don't want to talk about Sorry, I just got a quick message. I gotta answer no problem All right, what was that? Yeah, my friend Pedro. That's it. Oh, yeah, I did not play it at all Uh, I looked at it. I listened to you talk about the double cursor thing and went No, not even gonna try not even gonna try twin sticks, but each stick is for an arm

Shooting at a direction like I like I pull I remember pulling up a video I typed in my friend Pedro gameplay and I looked at it. I was like, wow, that was cool. Nope. Yeah No, not even a fucking attempt it like not just gunslinger in the game, but to some time specifically to some time Anyway Here's a people with bigger brains than I something I actually missed the first announcement of But uh, there's a game called no straight roads which is coming out And uh by developer metronomic metronomic metronomic

That's dropping in a on june 30th and this is a musical inspired It's one of those games are like the visual style defines Wow, this is weird looking everything about it This is weird looking very very strong visual style Uh gameplay is I guess third person action Um, there's a little bit of jank to it. There's a little bit of corniness The trailer featured a little bit of cringe, but the art style is very strong Um, I want to I want to see a bit more of it before I you know pass any sort of

major judgment, but the music and the Um, the aesthetics and the designer pretty pretty up there. Uh, I want to see what else it has to offer um Let me let me see if I can Gotta dig for a little bit there No Straight roads. That's what it was. I'm looking at final fantasy and it looks like somebody plays Sorry. I'm yeah looking at gameplay of uh, no straight roads and it really looks like somebody plays final fantasy

Because like the aoe indicators look exactly the same. Oh, yeah, okay Like the orange spots show up on the ground is like move out of those kind of thing. Yeah, um Um vibes of vibes of um What's that? Uh jack black tim schaefer game again Brutal legend. Yeah vibes of that when I saw her running around and guitar swinging just in terms of not though obviously not the um

The strategy part but more of just the like musical platform Thing part where you see like enemies and worlds and aesthetics that are designed based around You know genre But uh, again very bright very colorful kind of interesting, um Premise so yeah, uh curious to see a bit more of it But that had a trailer and that just dropped on uh, that's gonna this it's man. Fuck brutal legend unfortunately, um Didn't live up to everything it could have been a lot of really cool ideas in it though

It didn't live up to anything. They told you it was What did they tell us it was? They told you it was gonna be like legend of seldom with rock metal I mean I guess in the context of you are a rock metal guy running around on a 3d map And they said oh near the end of the game. You'll do some strategy stuff. Yeah, and it's like sure But then it also but then the game the combat is strategy. It's not it is not at all Yeah, it's terrible. So

I mean again if you If you are just saying it is a 3d platformer in a fantasy world then I guess there's a comparison to be made there But uh, no, that's not accurate Should have been boo boo brutal legend The nintendo direct, uh dropped a couple of other interesting things besides that star wars information about, um China Academy and such uh episode one racer again coming to ps4 and switch

Yeah, it makes this go through the star wars back catalog love that love that. That's fun. I'm super down for that That was uh, that was a good time one of the coolest things about that entire franchise. I would say is was is is Pod racing and the engine noises they make That whole scene is fucking so pointless in that movie, but that game's pretty alright That game's pretty okay fucking pod racing is awesome, dude I love it. I love the one greg proofs was the alien. I love i love the idea of uh Cars that are just two jet boosters at a chair attached to him. Why do you need the rest of it?

It's like Let's cut. Let's get to the basics here. What are we looking for that's totally point speed and that's it Right, you know if we kept evolving races and race cars We would get somewhere that resembled that If we could figure out the hovering and and the wheels and get rid of that and get and just get straight into hover tech We would eventually hit chariots Where the horses are fucking Uh

Jet jet jet engines You know, I never really put it together. That's totally what they are. They're chariot. It's a chariot with a jet engine Yeah, how do I never put that together? I have no idea. Yeah in retrospect Cut out the entire chassis cut out. Yeah, fuck it all of that shit We'd have to we'd have to go we would We would have to get through red line on the way to pod racers So there would be a really hot minute where the future got to be red line

and then we'd go To f0 slash wipe out area Let's just skip a couple steps and just tape people to the sides of increasingly large rockets I mean if you can control the steering then you can do it. No straight line. It's drag racing But the the finish line is the upper atmosphere. Well, what's the point of even putting a person on the rocket? It'd be it'd be cool. Why not just put two missile launchers side by side And then on green we both just shoot missiles and see who crosses the finish line first. No, you have to be attached to it Like literally just fire a missile down a track

Because when no because when um When they cross the finish line into the upper atmosphere all the rockets that aren't the winner explode Right it would not be a sport uh suggestion to pat if people didn't die Got it Same bit it's the it's the it's the end did you see it coming racing hey hey listener at home Did you see it coming? Did you talked about competition and then pat was like, you know what it should be and then he said people should die in it Were you only the losers were you able to spot the difference at home?

All right dora calm down Yo arms in smash everybody shut up This is the weirdest lamest announcement. You're stupid and you're lame all right Tell me how cool it is to have what character in the game Twin tell It's not twin tell Twin tell

Oh, yeah Twin based off of hell Her being a bad girl Her being the baddest bitch in all of arms her being the best Twin tell Well, you're like if twin tell came in that would be cool But then coming out and going somebody from this franchise will show up instead of saying the character with an announcement trailer is lame as fuck No other character got announced in that way shut your mouth. I gotta drink my water

That that it was terrible What like they say like you they're the the fucking Moment of who could it be and then the trailer turns and it's the character and it's surprise. That's the best part And you don't even know which character it is. It could be the fucking Gloopy glob guy. Yeah Um, it might even be it might be springman. It might be fucking Uh, min min. It might be noodle girl. It could be anyone who knows who knows I clearly can see I'm going to assume that the announcement was all fucked up by everything going on

And that they probably wanted to get a actual character reveal trailer done by this time But they were not anything but they were not able to do so instead So then state they decided to give you this and then they're going to drop that So you get a compromise of hype drop, but it's you know, no this sucks Well, well, if you're if you're not going to show it off, you shouldn't say anything at all. Sure I don't care. It's the it's the fighting game announcement equivalent of Square Enix telling you hey, we're going to have something really cool to show at e3. We promise be excited You're right. So the end result now is that an arms character in smash sucks. We shouldn't have it at all

Well arms sucks. Yeah, you see so you're doing that thing where it's like the positive becomes the negative because of percent perspective And well, no, I don't know. I actually don't like arms at all But if they announced well, hey twintel is in I would have gone. Hey, that's really cool But now we're stuck in the shithead universe of having 10 characters that would be fucking losers In like two or three that would be cool. But because you don't care about arms I don't care what you say because arms is twintel or max brass or fucking Ribbon girl or spring man got in that would be cool But you don't like any of the rest almost like who cares

You understand like the fact that I like arms. You don't even know who it is I know you're getting excited over nothing. I'm getting excited over the fact that arms wasn't forgotten I never thought arms would get in there because that was a wish list game Sucks because you're an idiot arms is a game that I thought got forgot I'm explaining to you what you just did get forgotten people forgot no one cares about ours All right, so should I should I keep trying or should I just stop? Because if I want to keep if in order to keep trying I need to point out the obvious Which is I thought arms didn't have a shot and then it turns out it did and it's back

And I played it on get into fighting games a week ago And it and it fucking was perfect timing because it turns out that like not only did that get announced They're also putting it in demo mode so you can go and play it for free on the e-shop right now And I'm feeling like maybe that announcement is possibly leading up to an arms to reveal it could be Right, it could actually be like this is all building up to a thing But regardless because your opinion doesn't matter because you don't like arms who gives a fuck But to anyone who does like arms. It's exciting that the game itself was like. Oh, shit. Here it is We don't know who it's gonna be

We'll find out if but the fact that arms is at all getting a character in the game is not something I thought was gonna happen. Okay. I'm very excited for this. Here's the deal Here's the deal No, listen, what the so the first thing that we knew Before these characters would get announced is that sakurai tried to let us down early by saying Hey guys, nintendo made all the picks. I didn't make these picks Set your expectations accordingly I didn't have anything to do with them. They were picked already. There's nothing you could do to change

Then the next thing that happens is arms gets announced to have a rep But they don't even tell you what character it is because no one cares Other than nintendo Ho's man, ho's man Ho's man. You are the one who ho's man people don't care about Ho's mad Ho's mad Ho's mad

Ho's mad Hey, look at that 60 and people don't know or care about one's arms It's up to 63 now Those who care can live in a wonderful world where an arms character got into smash. It's great. It's a good time We'll find out who I can't wait. You know, I'm gonna go look at the arms roster. Give me a second I can't wait to find that who I hope it's to intel Can I let you in on a secret can I let you in on a secret what is that?

If they picked spring man I'd be okay with that. Yeah spring man's I I've named four characters that I was like those would be cool They're gonna pick one of the popular spring man ribbon girl Uh, twintel or max brass Minmin's pretty popular too. Uh, minmin's popular. Minmin's pretty popular too. Yeah, in fact, it's gonna be helix Minmin is second. I'd say almost in terms of uh, how much it's gonna be helix If they pick watch amongst the most popular characters in the game, which Surely they well, I mean, what are the chances they're gonna do that?

It's great If they pick amongst the most popular characters in the game, it'll be a great pick Well, did you do qualitative methods in uh, seiza? No You didn't it wasn't in your program. Uh, I did cultural geography And I did some sort of statistics class that was terrible, but I don't think that was probably qualitative methods Uh, so the thing with qualitative methods is that the first thing that you find out Is that if you don't have a large enough sample size, where is this going?

Where is get get to the point of where this is going? No, I'm getting there But yeah, let me get there when you have us when your sample size is too small You're not able to see the mode In your statistical distribution So with the low amount of people that care about arms, there's no real reliable way to figure out What's the favorite character is because we're talking about like the dozens of people the lengths they will go through pat Pat Are you upset because they have long arms?

Oh, man Are you upset that that would be the that would be the thing they could reach things so this is good This is really good. Is this a problem? Well, I can't fucking believe the nonsense. I'm listening to You're sitting on this podcast going. Yeah, people love arms I can't wait for my favorite arms character people love arms and last week you pretended like you didn't know who nemesis was Like what fucking planet do you live on? I know who nemesis is I don't know what he does outside of No, you didn't know which one he's from I didn't I certainly didn't know which game he was from

He's from the one that has his name on the box, man, which I forgot Anyway arms great. Here's what's up Arms is coming to smash. I love it And we're looking at Probably one of the popular characters showing up of which any of those would be great. So it's great It's gonna be helix. It's gonna be helix and shit on screen and everyone will be like, uh I hope he farts out the tune hose mad I can't even remember what the fucking tune of that is

hose mad hose mad hose mad hose mad hose mad hose mad It cuts off on the third one hose mad hose mad hose mad That's it. That's all I can't wait to see what kind of fucking bargain basement shit We're gonna get if arms is the first character on the list

I am constantly amazed if not Stupified by how you find ways to turn simple great news into something that you can shit on It's a it's an impressive skill. It's an impressive skill. Not many have that. What can I say? I I have a a lot of practice mind you have a lot of practice I do I do You know I I mean earlier in the podcast I described the situation in which I have ice cream And throw it away because someone has a better ice cream

Right so because arms is a really like I'd call it niche or not super successful, but it did have some success But they're doing an official tournament as well. By the way, that's the other piece of things They they brought they're doing an official nintendo tournament for it. That's cool. Finally the smash players have something to look down on But the idea that like a smash character is going to get in before wonder red That's just like sorry an arms character is going to get in before wonder red is like. Oh my god What further indignities Can be visited upon the wonderful 101. You know, you're right. It should have been a it should have been a fire emblem character We should have picked someone else. It should have been uh

Edelgard Edelgard should have been the pick instead of by those. Yeah, they fucked up Or or a dimitri or like could have been any of them. Yeah, and people would have way happier. Yeah But then But then they fucked up again by announcing an arms character instead of another fire emblem character It's wasted slot. Quite frankly. That's a fire emblem spot. Oh god. What was it? I saw somebody saying that it's like it's an arms character, but they're somehow also a sword Like they hold their arm in a sword. Yeah

Yeah, I think we're done here I think um I think I've entertained your buffoonery into a full conversation for far too long Oh buffoonery. You're the one sitting there going. Oh, yeah arms Good video game. Good times fucking pretending good characters I played decking for hours and hours and hours and I was like, what is the point of this? What is the point of this fighting game? Oh

Arms is a fighting game that only appeals To people who love all fighting games or people who are too dumb to understand what a fighting game is Oh I actually don't recognize it You should use arms music Na na na na na That is the theme and it's throughout the whole menu and it goes into the character select screen And they add different instruments depending on which character you pick

Well, that's nice, but I'm glad that I don't recognize it Oh, um Let's take some letters Yeah, let's take some letters. Hey if you want to send in a letter, uh, first of all type it into your computer Don't send it in the actual mail. Uh, that's at castle super beast mail gmail.com. That's castle super beast mail at gmail.com Let's take some Let's go with this one right here Jonathan says to the faculty of castle super beast school for gifted youngsters

I thought you guys might get a kick out of knowing that I included a tweet by one at pat stairs at in an essay I submitted about the creative processes of genre bending works of Hideo Kojima Excuse me one which made mention of death strandings like economy did exceedingly well So feel free to take credit My favorite piece of feedback was definitely my professor getting very excited by the player's feeling of physical pain during mgs4's microwave corridor As a question What's the weirdest place you found yourselves quoted or referenced or called upon when it comes to your status as internet video game expert guys Cross out the word expert

your book Just saw one Just saw one the other day keep beasting and cheers for the essay I'll try and get woolly in the next one. Thanks from jonathan What'd you see Your book quote of uh Oh quote of mine. Yeah in a in a in a young woman's yearbook Yeah, it's her graduation quote and i'm like, oh Jesus. Yeah, what was that? That was um when life gives you lemons

Something like that was it that one? Yeah something like that. I don't remember what the fuck the actual quote was but It was something When life gives you lemons something something Okay, well anyway True that was there Or a box of chocolates life is like a box of chocolates Sometimes you get punched in the face. Sometimes you get punched in the face, right? Okay. Okay

What are you up to over there? What are you up to? What are you up to? You little fucking shit you I'm just having a way of having the messages on the social media you fuck you dirt you fucking piece of little shit What are you up to? Why are you so what wait? Why are you so upset? I thought I was the hoe that was mad And woolly you're right You're right. You're taking arms is cool is less crazy

Than not knowing who nemesis is you're completely right throwing arms must not be that bad throwing up the pole That's pretty amazing. Hey, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. That's quick data. Okay. All right. All right I at no point I'm gonna say that like I should not have remembered who nemesis is I should have remembered who he is But I didn't I'm not saying I was right for that. I'm saying it happened. I just forgot It was like, oh, yeah, he was in marvel, right? He and then oh, yeah, resident evil 3 subtitle is nemesis And yes, he does do those moves and he's does the thing

But I had to be reminded step by step because I just forgot Meanwhile, hey, hey, hey if I did before re2 Mr. X was A big trench coat guy I had no context of anything because he never showed up in anything I didn't know anything about mr. X except for you telling me about him like 10 years ago about how he chased you down And that's all I ever knew Ever right nemesis showed up in other places, right? He didn't so I had no context and now I have context

But yeah, I should have remembered. I just didn't certainly But yeah, all right, you're gonna get a third pole in there What what are you talking about? He's typing up a third pole Okay, do your thing Hey, man, we're doing data driven podcast You realize that you've cultivated a group of people who when you make a pole are specifically going to steer

The fucking plane into the bit, right? We're we realize that we all know we all know You're problems with democracy How you don't believe in voting Okay I didn't do anything. I didn't tell anybody what to vote. You realize this. These are not juiced voting questions The the mere source at you coming from you Is all about turbo tanking the entire all I said was I asked the good people of the internet A simple question. Yeah, can you trust someone who doesn't know who nemesis a prominent member of ultimate marble 3 is?

About whether or not fighting games are good Absolutely not or sure. I guess and it seems people are split It seems people are split fair for point Fair point. Oh, no, wait. It's it's it's great. It's uh, it's cratering and absolutely not. It's definitely No, yeah, no one could trust that person about fighting games. Especially not about some niche Garbage like arms. Well Be sure to Not download them when the character comes out

So you have a nice big empty spot on your on your on your character select screen Where the arms character that totally doesn't exist will be forever ignored by your game and you can just pretend So good, you could just pretend they're not there for the rest of eternity as the character doesn't exist That's the funniest because it's like Like people that went out of their way to like delete the yoda stuff off their soul caliber shit to be like no yodas in this household Just uh be sure every time you boot up that fucking Smash and you take a look just keep a nice big empty box Mm-hmm and put all your feels into that box because there's nothing there

That's an empty box. No character was here class All right, we got one coming in Uh, fanna butts says dirtbag tactics dear castle super beast. You briefly talked about doke upon kingdom Uh, and it's hilarious potential for scumbag ring friendship obliteration. I never played the console versions only the ds port of doke upon journey um Didn't play with friends was just a shame because I didn't have a witness for my favorite dirtbag tech I've ever pulled after several long hours of the game against three cpu characters I was hit with several rounds of shit luck and the cpu in first place had a good crazy luck for a few rounds

Making the gap between it's almost impossible to bridge in the time left the keyword being almost I saved a player control spell for the most opportune moment and when the cpu player was near a shop I struck I took over them their turn made them enter the store sell all their equipment buy everything back at a higher price Sell it for half value over and over again until they were destitute Then I came to the finishing then came the finishing blow. I made them rob the store So they were they were unwelcome in there ever again and couldn't buy any more equipment It was delectable sadism only to be dampened by the fact that there were no human recipients for my wanton cruelty What i'm feeling low. I wishfully remember that beautiful bit of assholery and smile to myself

What's your favorite moment where the star is aligned allowing you to just be a real piece of shit for personal gain? That's a fucking victory dude. That's a fucking victory I had some like I remember a game of risk that I played my dad my mom and my brother and sister like 20 years ago In which I had just a miraculous like, you know, you're in risk like you could be losing and you're losing right Until you hit get like double six on defense Like 40 times in a row or close enough for like, you know, five six six six four six four five

You know over and over and over and over and over And like the attacking force just breaks themself on your shore And like I I meant I didn't win but I managed to take like a I managed to take like Europe back And the game ended up in a stalemate like it always did Because that game takes too long Now let's take what over here from starry

says, uh Hey, woolly and pat This week my room mate's parents came over to live at our apartment And I was subjected to the horrors of her mom's cooking didn't eat much of it because I cooked for myself But once I saw her fuck up the mashed potatoes by flattening the potatoes with a wooden spoon off heat I didn't add anything to that. I'm not even goddamn salt. My question is how bad of you guys seen someone fuck up basic cooking Uh my grandmother once, uh Horribly overcooked some past its prime lamb and

Uh decided that the solution was to throw an entire bottle of onion salt at it Uh and we all got horribly sick Wow There was one Lady god bless her soul and heart that used to come out to church and there would always be the church Uh lunches after the sermon And everyone would you know bring their own trays of of food out and they'd put the thing down and you do a little uh Little cookout a little cookout after church

Yeah, that's nice. It sounds like a good community thing one lady, uh didn't quite get the basics of human consumption And then did not understand that after her plates Were left full every week That it was not exactly a sign that she should continue bringing them, but yet she would and whether it was

basic ass lentils or tofu or rice Or plantains it didn't matter It was not good But she was in the right age and group of the moms of the church And if all the moms are bringing out their dishes, then she surely felt that she should too She clearly did not have any stats put into cooking whatsoever

But out of a sense of well, i'm a part of this group of the the mom ages that should be providing It was rough. It was fucking rough and I mean, you know, you could only humor someone so much, you know, and she's a nice lady She just didn't get the picture. Oh, that's the worst. That's the worst part picture, you know, and And I remember some of the dudes I used to go to church with With like like while you're going down the line, there'd be the thing of being like Hey, uh, hey, misha, you didn't you didn't get any of the rice over there. Why don't you Within your shot

You didn't get any lentils. Yo, give me your plate. Give me your plates Give me your plate. Go go go find a seat. Take the drinks. Go find a seat. I'll get our plates. Hey, miss. Can you please? Miss, can you please uh, thank you like sister Sister, can you please just give him a little bit a little bit extra because you know growing boy He's a growing boy. Misha go find the seats. It's okay. It's okay Yep, yep What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? You you just do grand and try and eat as much as you can get away with and then run

I'll tell you what you do. You make a nice curve as you go down the line and then you hit a bump And then you go and you grab a piece of bread and you get the drinks and then you fucking dip That's what you do. You you have a nice i'm out of here a nice little bump where you just go Oh, I'm just gonna walk away. How's it going? Oh, hey Then you walk back to the line in a few steps down, you know, it is what it is Uh, yeah Excuse me pardon Folks, we don't care about the five hour thing anymore. It's done. You ruined it last week. You ruined it. It's done. None of us care

I don't wear every time. I'm looking at a clock for how long the podcast goes all time at all times, by the way It's not a big secret. I just don't care. Shit's ruined dog Uh, all right, you ruined it. Let's see here. Let's take another one All right now. We're coming up at four hours 53 30 Well, they count the loading time of the of the yeah, that's nonsense They count the loading time of the video audio. It's done. No one cares um We're like six and a half minutes off guys

Get it together Joe says Hello turbo killer and hell dude the last couple weeks have been such a big increase in the prepper type behavior And otherwise normal people for a couple years now I've had this thing set up for myself personally a time travel password It's a password that exists only in my head never to be written or spoken I can use this to prove my identity to myself in any sort of situation involving time travel

If that's great, if I ever run into some old guy and he knows the password I'll know it's me from the future without having to waste time convincing myself. That's great Isn't that the fucking sickest shit? That's perfect Do you have any plans procedures or protocols for extremely unlikely scenarios like this? I do now No, no, I didn't but that's the best one Yeah, I'm making up a time travel password right now Fuck you for asking the question because you just created the best answer time travel password

Word that stays in your head and and then mine's gonna be bees Okay, but here's the problem What if someone tortures you and beats it out of you and then time travels in the future? Yeah, like what if they well luckily enough? I would never break under pressure like looper, you know, yeah Yeah, luckily enough. I'm a rock and I would never Snitch out my past self. You wouldn't snitch out your past self Uh, that's true. Yeah, I'm a rock. I could I you could never break me Like I just want to say like like just hard cut to

To Mads Mickelson cutting a hole in the bottom of a chair Yeah, I just patch this yelling Peace You ready You have two passwords Ones bees, which is the password that you give out under torture And the other one's the real password So if a guy comes up to me and goes, you know, the passwords bees I'm like, yeah, okay, just hold on one second

I need to get something from the kitchen. Yo, yo brain puzzles Up a password under duress. That's great That's great I mean, don't they use things like that with like banks and military, right? I don't know man. I'm not a bank or a military I remember hearing about something like that where it's like there's a way of of behaving normally In a situation where things are not normal Um

I forgot what it was Um It was something it's called an inhuman way of acting Yeah, there was a there was a scenario. I was uh, uh, no Anyway, whatever something like that where you can just you can indicate, you know, like, uh, no things are not okay Even though it seems like it is but yeah, uh, that's great time travel password is the shit I'm super down for that and then you need to create the duress password. That's true, too But what about the I need to defeat myself password?

Like what if the problem is you? Coming back to ruin you like what if you Are book or do it and fucking calm stock is coming to take your shit Since we talked about pun just hit him he's old well he sent the he sent the twins to do it Yeah Just push him down. Yeah, I mean he did that that's pretty much what happens. That's exactly what happens in the game actually It's kind of nudge him and he just falls over. Well, not really a nudge so much as a baptism in that pool

Which was uh, if you remember that But yeah, how would you defeat yourself? That's the real question, right? I'm imagining a A looper style scenario where you just come through the loop Yelling bees at the top of your lungs Yeah, and then what if like I'm just I I have the confidence in myself that if I had time travel shenanigans, whichever version of myself is me would win Because I want it more than me

Hmm Logical Yeah, I unfortunately feel that I would not have a good enough memory to remember My password. Oh, that's a problem. My memory. That's my I'd I'd uh, I'd forget it I'd look at me and myself as an old man and I'd be as a young man I'd be old and I'd look at my young self and be like, um, dude. Come on. What's it? You know, you know the time travel password What was it again? Oh, what was that game?

That game that sucked, you know Arms, oh, it's okay. You're here. Oh, thank you. And then I'd be like, uh And then like and then I I would like possibly offered it up and then it would be it'd be correct Um, oh, thank god. I remembered arms or else I would have shot my future self Yeah, I can't believe they deleted that character from smash bros in the future. That's crazy Stare into the abyss that is that permanent character slot forever available Whenever, uh, that comes out. Well, woolly. I'm already prepared the name of the channels Pat stairs. That's what I do

But does he pour his feelings into what he stares at? Nah No, I'm good Are you good Feel good. I got a pee but aside from that I'm doing pretty good I got this cat He's fat Right. Oh, okay. Well, um Tune into woolly versus for some more stuff that I talked about cotor fantastic

Uh black mesa fantastic doc upon kingdom fantastic fighting games fantastic tiny url.com slash castle super beast shirts get the get into fighting games shirt It's good shit. It supports us and it's awesome and yay What are you doing? I'm patting this cat's belly. What are you doing this week? Oh, uh, I thought you meant I sorry get distracted by cat. He's soft Uh over pat stairs that you'll be able to see re3 later in the week. That's for sure the remake Uh, that's twitch.tv slash pat stairs that

But uh, tuesday wednesday, I haven't really decided yet. Maybe I'll play mountain blade if I'll check it out earlier later tonight See if that'll be fun to stream Just come on by I'll now some shit on twitter. That's at cast there's that on twitter right on Oh, I also did the level clear podcast. Uh, oh, yeah, she did. So, uh, yeah tune into those guys um Don petro x and and folk nix good guy had a good time Unfortunately british on all of them pit

I mean, is there another way to describe british? No, not really. Well, there you go Later everybody pit Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

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