Castle Super Beast - CSB 084: That Water Has GAY MEMORY

Episode Date: September 8, 2020

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Days of School Memories, How not to build a PC, Bumbling CEO Corner and the return of the Patchy awards. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Windows XP Theme but it's an rpg soundtrack - Artisan Go to http://bombas.com/superbeast to give a pair when you buy a pair and get 20% off your first purchase! -- Go to http://expressvpn.com/superbeast to get an extra 3 months of ExpressVPN for free! Super Mario 3D All-Stars announced for Switch Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury announced for Switch Super Mario Bros. 35 announced for Switch WWE reportedly bans stars from third-party engagement, potentially ending Twitch streams Indivisible And Skullgirls Studio Lab Zero Lays Off Remaining Workforce Create Your Own Mega Buster-esque Game Controller With Make Rockman Shenmue the Animation announced by Crunchyroll and Adult Swim Kamen Rider: Memory of Heroez ‘Kamen Rider Zero-One’ gameplay Streets of Rage 4 balance patch now live on all platforms Epic Games CEO warns Apple’s ban could be a ‘death sentence’ for his company GeForce RTX 3080 Graphics Card | NVIDIA  

the the by the by the by the

the the by the by the the kids are back

they have a town places to go and those places are not on twitch that's correct mean willow which is top which is chatted i was like well what happened to the use this week it's like all mother fuckers are lurkin's have gone back to learn

they'd be learning to wear their god damn masks that's they learn now also uh... that would explain why some of the things going viral are like teachers being like man fuck homework yeah you see that uh... as long as that's all that goes viral am i right yeah hey

now this uh... this is this video of a teacher basically being like hey you know students have shit to do some of them work some of them cook for their first siblings some of them are like doing all kinds of stuff and having lives so i don't like giving homework because i want them to uh... be kids and then the most

uh... the thing that emulates real life is you come to school like a job you do the work there and then you leave it behind you yeah which i thought was pretty interesting but woolly most jobs now want you to take your work home yes yes but i'm just thinking like i saw that

uh... i saw that that video and i was immediately reminded of the teachers i have that almost almost got into physical fistfights with kids for not doing their homework and i just i can't comprehend the two existing because like i grew up in a world where i had there's a there's a fucking lady we had my great six teacher

miss uh... i'm not gonna fucking blow names whatever but a story is always better when you put a name behind it uh... let's just call her miss shila that's not her name but she

would get so close to your face when she yelled at you that like not only were you bathing in spit particles but it was that volume that would hurt your ears right up in your face type of thing and by any metric nowadays that would have been fucking abusive like

absolutely a no go but uh... she just didn't give a fuck and uh... she clearly had been around too long she'd been through the ringer she hates her job but she's gonna write it out to her kids yeah she's gonna write it out to her corpses found correcting one day

and uh... you know for all we know there's a dead man switch connected to uh... uh... the fucking school so that she could let us light it all on fire when she goes but like yeah she would watch people come in and like i remember when

my friend said rick uh... literally had a dog eat his homework there was a crazy ass dog that lived near us and it chased him and it actually fucked his bag up and it ripped the fuck out of like some shit that fell out and he got and he's like this is gonna be hilarious dude but i literally had a dog eat my homework

and we brought it in and like she he had like the parts of the ripped thing and like she just fucking lost it because she thought this was an elaborate prank which again like i've got i've got puppy gief here and he was like a page was teaching him tricks and he was eating the dog manual yeah like dogs eat paper no the punchline was not lost on us

of this being a moment that's like that's pretty funny that that actually happened but attempting to pull that up and and and run with it uh... led to her just fucking like just banshee shrieking you know and she does that thing too where

like if she's correcting your test and she's disappointed in it not even if you failed necessarily but if you get lower than she expected you to she would just throw it on the floor she would literally just correct it and then just toss it away from her site for those of you listening to the audio version at home

that prompted a big old eyebrow raise of um-hmm yeah really and it's like come get your come get your and she wants to say shit but she's not going to say it she's just like come get your your your test you know and yeah that that class was it was the one you didn't want to get grade six building memories forever

absolutely absolutely you know i i think back and i had two teachers that had like that were sticklers for homework and they had like a good reason one was my favorite english teacher of all time i hope she's still alive

she's you know the the teacher that's like a horrible old cranky gremlin woman but good like they're just tired they're not mean to you but like if the kid is sassing them they will sarcastically snap back at them every horrible old gremlin teacher has been like which adjacent oh that's terrible

i've never had a nice one oh well okay this one was was relatively nice and then the other was uh one of my math teachers was like a really like like he worked out all the time he's like a weird chad math teacher oh yeah we had those they were they were obsessed with homework for two reasons english teacher was we're gonna sit in the class and talk about the book you had to read it

if you didn't read it that conversation about the book is gonna be fucking terrible and you're gonna look stupid when i ask you about it and that worked because she would ask you about it hey what did you think of this character and you'd be go you know the title like oh i really thought it was really deep when the right and math teacher was even simpler it was grade 10 math and it was the hard math and it was like listen if you don't do your homework

you won't understand this shit you will fail the test you need to do this shit because it's complicated and then people went ah fuck you and then they all failed the fucking first test there you go there you go yeah yeah and then he went see i told you he like gloated he was like i fucking told you if you don't do this shit you won't understand this trigonometry is weird um we had we had like a couple of bro teachers basically there was like a a faction of these like super buff like

greek dudes that were like teachers and they're all you know mr greek last name you know mr mr papa doppalus mr papa doppalus there was a name that's super close to that that we had you know and um they and they would basically it was hilarious because like they would basically have the same thing that the the the they'd have the same thing going on where uh chest showing a little bit little bit a little bit of fuzz coming out the the the curl

absolutely absolutely the orthodox crucifix underneath it you know and uh they were they were for the most part pretty chill and and they teach with all the hand gestures and get all into it and that was the you know they would explode every once and all but those those were the more chill ones the the the ladies the older ladies we had um both in elementary and in high school actually were the worst ones um and i want to say like there was like one or two nice like younger lady teachers but

um in in in elementary we had the the miss s the the one that fucking just banshee shrieked at you in high school we had an english teacher who literally had the drawer with the conspicuous bottle in it the non-descript fluid that stayed in the bottle that was my typing teacher in high school and i like and i think so that she was she her bottle wasn't conspicuous it was vodka like she'd sit she'd sit down on it but i'm the thing that always got me is that it was a typing class in like 2001

where typing was actually the new hot shit because yeah computers yeah but she was teaching a typewriter typing class okay so like the relevancy was just yeah off drive is drive is gone i just like once you saw it i remember um the fucking trouble kids in class pointed it out right and then when she when she left we saw it in the drawer and went holy fuck there it is right there and from that moment you're not paying attention to anything the moment she looks down at her drawer every time she kind of looks at it

every time she kind of pulls it a little bit you know you just kind of are like is this it is this gonna happen and somehow she never got in trouble for it but fuck me that was there for years what wait wait whoa whoa whoa whoa i don't mean to call you naively but what do you mean somehow she never got in trouble for it like there needs to be somebody teaching that class we can have a drunk or an empty chair like tenure man tenure yeah tenure is

fucking powerful can't stop it like i think back and i might have told the story before but i can't i can't tell the difference between what i've said out loud in my head on my streamer here but i once had an elementary school teacher that showed off like the power of positive reinforcement because you know like rewarding people is more better than punishing them works for dogs works for people first day of class after lunch for the for the you know the second half of the day the the you know the one to three part she brought in her

beautiful golden retriever named einstein and she sat him down and let all the kids come up and pat him this is like grade four or five right and he was like oh my god nice doggy everybody's so happy etc and she goes okay everybody i'm gonna have one pop quiz at least every single week and if the class average is over 80 you don't have to do your final friday period at all wow just go outside and i'll bring the dog in and we can play with the dog and would you look at that that average went the fuck up we even got

the smart kids to help the stupid kids with their homework there you go and they didn't usually get along because like if you don't fucking get do well in this test i don't get my friday off look at that it's almost like those methods work it's almost like it's an incentive there was a downside however on the days where it didn't go up blame could be easily ascertained by looking at everyone's test scores oh sure oh what's that what's that sarah

you're the reason it was your test that pushed us underneath the percentile thanks a lot dumbass welcome to communism class yeah um i mean i don't know uh that that's that those are those are nice stories all i'm remembering is the physical confrontation that two dude teachers got into with each other that uh as it escalated it got to a point where one teacher was basically like uh please touch me so i can sue the shit out of you as there were in each other's faces

kind of thing and uh to later find out that that might have been the the argument that like it wasn't clear what was going on might have been because they were both pretty close to some students and they both might have known things about each other that were not fucking legal and they were having a big ol i'm not saying nothing but i'm having a fucking square off with you and we're not going to say much but we know the problem here and i'm like dear god that's

fucking whoa that was happening at my school okay i remember and shit you only find that in retrospect you ever had that music teacher that goes from class to class does the music thing not from class to class we used to go to the auditorium okay so we had a guy came he was like a a slot in period i'm talking elementary school and there was one kid let's call him jimmy that man he just fucking was such an asshole to this teacher just like treated him like a substitute but like literally every day of the

year and it was the same teacher and it music class was one of those things that got slotted at my elementary school so you'd have it like throughout and i remember talking with some kids i'm like do you think that mr whatever the fuck is gonna lose his temper one day and like just kill him and like no of course not until one day he totally lost his temper and threw a bunch of shit across the room well there you go knocked that kid out of his fucking chair

jesus wow then kept kept teaching yeah tenure he threw like a like a flows big fat textbooks yeah it's just like brained him knocked him out of his chair oh yeah and the part of the story that gets confusing because my you know your child memory is not super reliable but nothing happened like nothing happened like like kid got back in his seat yeah took his lump and we all laughed at him and no one was on his side even if we didn't really like the teacher all

that much we're like you've been on you've been an asshole to him for like four years it was the style at the time i don't think i don't even know if it escalated past that class that the room itself right out because everyone's like nah that's about right yeah yeah we had a chill we had a chill a history teacher that pinkied the bottom of one of a desk and just launched it not in anyone's direction but you know those things have happened oh yeah i had a teacher come in because we were

making too much noise and he came in from the other classroom he said you guys are gonna shut up and like a kid from the back like laughed and then he grabbed like a meter stick and slammed it on the desk and it exploded into a million damn and flew into the it's like you kids are gonna shut up okay all right okay yeah yeah now man we had some shit um yeah battle of the camo she does is what was going down in our hallways uh and uh you know there was the there was the time

that uh one of uh said uh said one of said bro teachers uh uh as he was leaving uh to get into his his shiny bmw he saw something going on and he saw some hooded figures uh on the roof with what appeared to be guns and he came running back into the school to figure out uh what the fuck's going on and basically raced to the office and then headed up to the roof where me and my friends were filming the finale of our

Metal Gear fan film and uh and our our uh our our our last boss in his in his big long trench coat with our big fake guns we're on the roof shooting our shit and uh yeah you know we we thankfully we got that cleared through the drama department but um shout outs to uh us showing that movie in in the auditorium for everybody and at one point when uh an explosive goes off and there's fire along the wall behind uh uh the character and uh the

principal's like hey that's amazing special effects you guys wow you really went all out with this and we're like right we totally didn't just rub rubber cement on the wall yeah and light it the fuck on fire yeah that's a special effect right totally totally uh huh cg nailed it it's great i i had a i had a physics teacher that was cool except for the fact that like how do i put this all right hey kids you're gonna learn about inertia today which is a property

of physics it's the tendency of things to stay at rest friction is a blah blah blah blah right what's a good hands-on way to teach inertia well my car is snowed in in the school parking lot right now so why don't we all go outside for a hands-on demonstration of inertia amazing all right so you see how the car doesn't want to move that's why you're gonna really have to really push it

uh now you see now that it's moving it's inertia has lowered so it's easier to get the rest of the way nice he also like he also like like possibly was that irresponsible physics professor who kids would come in with their ideas and he would go that seems cool which uh seemed to stop the day that greg came in with homemade napalm and the days of that seems cool do it as the standard advice stopped yeah i see these videos every now and then

that get posted where someone's like doing filming a little like five seconds of their bio class and like it's like check it out this super confident chemistry teacher or bio teacher is gonna light the floor on fire and everyone's bags and feet are on the ground and the flame will just fade out right as it touches everything because it's a okay but and you're like what you know you're just like okay these if you've been doing it for years i believe you but there's a trick i do every year

the kids out you know little little little sus um something not that whatever anyway i know uh uh uh my bio teachers that we had there he was a good guy uh he's the kind of guy that would forget shit all the time he'd make mistakes he'd fuck things up uh there's no guarantee that you're not setting that classroom on fire showing off one of those experiments we never had we never had one of those crazy things man you know you know we're talking a lot about goofy things there's a certain appeal

to a teacher or you know at this point in your life it's adults authority figure but a teacher who is calm and pleasant and you would even say placid right losing their shit because of the the the fucking the variation my chemistry teacher she was such a sweet lady she was like 80 she was from spain she had a like a thick spanish accent but she she she had that like you know those old people to have like a aristocracy kind of like lulz they're sure classy

later right very never raised her voice now you know just very sweet right up until the day that were like six seven months into the year we're almost done and two of the dumb kids start they're thirsty so they walk over to the eyewash station and fill up a beat with water and start drinking out of it yeah which she sees and starts to lose her mind like i didn't think was capable of oh my god it is literally the only thing you have to not do in the chemistry lab

uh don't drink out of the beakers because they're running like i know for a fact the grade above us was running experiments with like alkali metals absolutely which will kill you if you ingest them pinprick fucking poisons yeah absolutely yep yep um i told you about the body i told you about the corpse remind me about the body one day outside people are in the yard as you do you know you run outside you frolic you you do your your your your lunch timing and your recesses and so on

and then oh look at that someone found a corpse in the bushes this is a new story i don't know i've definitely brought it up a core a body has been discovered and um uh yeah yeah you report that in and then the office says uh everyone go home go the fuck home just leave take your shit get out um by the way this has nothing to do with any of us we don't know anything about this this is not a student this is we don't know we don't know nothing

and then the the doubling down the next day just uh hey just letting all students know uh there's no need to uh spread any misinformation about the incidents of yesterday uh it appeared that a homeless man uh just fell asleep and passed out forever in the bushes and uh that's all so you look over at your friend and you're like i don't know man are you sure you want to keep take over the end when your mom passes away straight up you know uh either that or wait for the

fucking Danganronpa class trial but yeah you go you go right to like the school goes right into full-on defense mode of please do not tell your parents that a student was yeah you know like they just had anything to do with us you know uh incidents yeah yeah so good times good times school feels like a different planet i mean it is it's a different uh structure of of like day-to-day life as you know no other until that point in time

and and it sucks because you know what like they did the research that when you're a teenager your capacity for emotional like your emotional threshold is actually much weaker than when you're an adult like things you know i like you know you're 13 and your your girlfriend that you went out on one date with breaks up with you and it's the end of the world it's the end of the world yeah it is actually the end of the world it actually literally feels the equivalent of like getting a cancer diagnosis as an adult

well yeah because we all because like the the the graph is still measuring on a scale from one to ten and we're currently measuring on scales of hundreds yeah it hasn't zoomed out enough yet but like to any of the the the if there's anyone listening to this who can hear us that is within the school system probably the high school system um oh my god does none of that shit matter at all holy shit the only thing you take with you is the damage

i won't even say like the lessons just the damage the damage um you know what i'd like yeah i was gonna say possibly the uh uh uh the quirks and fetishes but that's all damage too so yeah it's all damage yeah yeah you're gonna take it everything involuntary you're a loner you watch a vangelion when you're like 10 crap now you're into bitchy redheads your whole life what are you gonna do um but yeah the the

the scale the the it has not the the graph has not zoomed out yet so that you're you're you're you're pain mo you're painful moment that high school breakup that uh registers uh currently at a nine out of ten um you don't realize that upon receiving that diploma and stepping foot outside that ten actually becomes a 100 you know what this reminds me of the my my absolute favorite sentence that i heard in high school

from like i want to say 40 different teachers when you're in university they're not gonna let you get away with that yo okay okay okay no no no no no so uh the tweet is tweet is when you're in college slash university that shit's not gonna fly and then uh um uh uh that shit in college and then the emoji of a bat an angel a bird a plane a rocket ship a boomerang like you have every ufo because they won't let you use a calculator in university and i got to say

ship and they're like can i use a calculator like no shit you have to use one dumbass i don't give a fuck every single fucking flying emoji just in a row that shit in college do you remember being told that if you didn't know how to write cursive with a pen they wouldn't take your your work in in college uh wouldn't even look at they're not gonna look at it with a pencil um i use a pen i i i've talked about this before but i'm all fucked up with that actually because i only learned cursive

um i learned how is that even literally possible because i skipped grade one okay but i mean you know what the letters look like now yes now not yes but in in the school system uh i went right to cursive in in grade two because grade one was when we were supposed to learn the basic print which never fucking happened and um that was a that led to my handwriting being super fucked for a long time i learned cursive before

regular handwriting which i had to teach myself um the other thing too of course is uh hey woolly that i'm gonna i'm gonna drag it way out and everybody at home listening to the audio version feel free to go and take a look at this yourself on the internet have you ever seen russian cursive writing oh my god it is madness yes i have i i just sent to i've seen it i've seen it oh my god russian cursive is the dumbest it's it's wild feels like a cute like a goof

no it's it's but it's also equally fucking fascinating that the brain can work in a way that determines that that can actually figure that out you can decode that i can't decode that that it is it is unbelievable yeah i've seen it um yeah cursive i i spent an entire grade three learning how to write cursive only to grow up into the era in which writing cursive is harmful to you well i don't even i i think i was having the discussion not too long ago about like do they even teach cursive

anymore like is it still a part of the curriculum in any way i don't know man it feels like it has no purpose anymore like outside of signing a check typing or a signature yeah of course that's that's what replaces it yeah the cursive is is definitely some antiquated shit they should teach tippity tab like this um and the other thing i was gonna say is a lot of the like the that crazy desk throwing

ruler breaking yelling shit uh is definitely skewed in a fucked way for me because uh school in granada is if you fuck up you're getting hit oh so so you don't have to have all this weird out other shit corporal punishment straight to the to beat down yeah and every teacher had their had their ruler and the ruler gave you licks and if you got sent to the principal's office uh she got out her principal's ruler which is a ruler that's basically just

like it's the thickness of like a not a two by four but it's like a one by two it's just a plank of wood and it had and it was not smoothed out and it was like the main reason to go to the principal's office is because the principal has the fat ruler and she's about to fucking lay it in a bigger office they have more room to swing they do they do she had it was you know uh too big too clumsy to be called a ruler and uh yeah i only got i only had to feel it once you know but uh i did feel it so the system

worked the system worked the system worked how about that uh that's that's the fucking granadian way you know so then i came back here to again like crazy tempers and and and yelling and shit and again like all that disrespect but it never escalated to the physical point so hey at least you're not getting hit until the day where you're the where you're the one who takes the lumps for the the teacher's whole life for the entire career yeah well somebody's gonna get one as we've established and if you happen to be

the unlucky one then yes the justice of a 30 year career is is carried out the limit break has been flashing for 30 fucking years you better believe it's gonna do some damage and they're not fucking up the side prompts either they're timing every one of those extra hits for for maximum crit um but i think they'll take away a lesson uh uh that you are getting at is that uh once you get out of of school that uh none of that shit matters because

the enemies in real life scale with your level that's correct they're always proportional society at large oh come on scales with you big scales with you no matter how big you get all that i mean what if you got really big there's always there's always going to be someone bigger just became physically large i think um it's not the kind of game that lets you pull an earthbound where you just walk over enemies and they pop open

you know or you jump on and pull their mask off show me your true form pop doesn't work that way everything is scaling i think um i do like appreciate the energy that college teachers have where it's kind of just like uh i had a passion for this subject but i didn't want to be a babysitter yeah you know they sometimes have that here i don't give a fuck you're wasting your money okay whatever i'm moving on yeah yeah i do that that feels very practical to me and that

feels like the fact that the teacher doesn't give a shit whether or not you give a shit because they're like i'm going to do my thing anyway it's your life buddy was yeah the much more effective on me from them was like uh you know hey i see the some of you who haven't been here you know you're wasting your money you're not getting a good education you're not going to learn this shit like dude i don't give a fuck this is a required class it is not one of my electives

i don't give a shit yeah not to not to knock the patience of the saints on those who do uh have to be put into babysitting ages but like for me nothing was more of a motivator than the teacher going whatever dude it's your life you know people fucking come and go all the time man like you you're just you're another score to me you know you're another grade it is what it is and i said to that guy i said listen i don't give i'm gonna do this macroeconomics test and i'm gonna pass it and i don't i'm not gonna learn i'm not

gonna keep a single god damn piece of information in my head you old bastard so i'm gonna just skip this class hopefully showed up with the ps2 today and go look for an empty classroom so we could play fucking third strike cultural geography oh well he didn't show up he showed up the whole day late at the end of the day with the ps2 today what the hell now i skipped macroeconomics for nothing cultural geography that's what it was

shout outs to the classrooms that had the tv in the corner and the pull down projectors yeah man and no one was ever ever in them for some reason not even once not even once we had once people walk in when we were leaving at the end of the day and i don't think there were students i think they were also well they were students but i don't think they were there for a class i think they were also there to do bullshit in that classroom i want to say that at least once a janitor walked in and went oh hey let me

know when you're done or just kind of looked in and went well whatever and walked out that seems about right there's definitely been like the walk in and meh you know so yeah days of memories what did you do with your week honestly not much uh this has been a heavily dog focused week teaching him tricks he's learning how to shake your paw now he's adorable he's very popular is that the first trick uh no no the first trick is sit sit yeah yeah sit sits vital

and we're working on uh we're working on uh stay and uh and lie down and paw sit he's got the others are in various states the problem is it's both a blessing and a curse i have the fattest dog that's ever existed now he might not be physically fat and we will keep him trim but he's fat in his heart so he'll do anything if you have food in your hand other than calm down because you have food in your hand this dog will lick his bowl for up to half an hour after the food is gone

because maybe just maybe there'll be an extra crumb that he missed just maybe uh but he's doing well he's a good dog uh what else the fuck uh he's getting his last shot this week i'm so excited for that finally he's gonna bring him to dog parks and not have to worry about him getting the fucking parvo when can he when can he teleport like poppy it's gonna be a bit it's gonna be a bit that might be a little bit that might be a second

uh we've had an ongoing i don't know if you i don't think i mentioned this on the podcast last week uh but it definitely happened uh on the twitter but me and page have had an ongoing battle with an old man across the street did i mention this to you no old man doesn't like that our dog will occasionally use his yard as bathroom even though we always pick up after him yeah that sucks old man leaned out the window to point at page and make a little gun symbol and tell her to go back where she came from

that's not the way to do it yeah so we've been having the dog shit on that guy's lawn non-stop oh my god the man right across the street the man has a point but he that's not the right way to get it across take it right across the street every single day right to that that dude's yard it's also we pick a listen we pick it up we're not petty like that pick it up every time with the doggie bag to his credit he was able to smell the american

yeah it's not hard it's not hard for what it's worth all page has to do is top and here's here's here's the here's the rub so that's been going on dog poops on the guy's lawn we pick it up we look at the window we wave just in case all right people have been coming up to us asking if it's our dog that's pooping in front of their doors to which case we go no it can't be ours and they go what do you mean it can't be ours to which page has video evidence on

her phone as she records herself picking up the dog poop every time be sure yeah okay just to be certain okay calls out the date and the time so that if anybody calls the cops on our dog she can go no uh oh oh my god that is a recent discussion with a neighbor has illuminated that there is a couple on this street that just opens their fucking front door and lets their dog just out their front door

onto the street not not into their backyard and then when the dog is done they let the dog back in okay the we discovered the real culprit the recording is is kind of insane but you know this is the world we live in people can call and cops can show up um we don't want we don't want trouble with the police so that's why we record the poo poo yeah also spite is a powerful motivator if i were that man i too would complain but i would do it in a different manner would you threaten to shoot someone's

dog with your finger gun not likely no yes i would walk outside let a person to go back where they came from no that would not be the way either i would i would walk outside and have the conversation is what i would do um oh apparently it's an old man who can't move from his window okay like literally he will not be coming outside he will in fact be sending relatives down to hassle us okay and they're much nicer actually well um i mean for what it's worth like

i don't know the the people who uh just let it rock and don't give the slightest shit at all about that no uh i will not be that dog owner that horrible it's like i know that it's like an infraction on the level of like aggressive jaywalking you know i know that it's in the same kind of like whatever category you know misdemeanor if you would but it says so much more about you as a person so i'm of the opinion that if your dog takes a shit on someone's lawn

and you do nothing to deal with it you might as well have just taken a dump on it yourself yeah well it's the same effect that's the that's the respect level that we're dealing with same effect certainly i now what if you dropped your pants took a huge shit on someone's lawn and then cleaned it up politely cleaned it up ah now we're talking as long as you film it and save the date and time yeah anyway um what else that's it well other than other than that uh

i've been in that you ever i talked about this on uh on twitter last night you ever get into that feeling we're like i want to play something and then you're like i don't know what's play and then you look at the backlog and you're like i don't want to play any of those yeah and so you just end up playing something old so i've just been running a lot of gungeon runs nothing really to say other than the i hate the robot and i hate having to try and beat the robots past uh i did however

on stream play uh the new control dlc uh a w e or awe which is great and is actually an allen wake an expansion well that's that's the that's the little joke there isn't it because it's a w e ha ha ha um i can't talk about almost anything in that dlc for fear of big ass spoilers for both control and for allen wake actually it is a it is a crossover event in terms of like like it like it's just as much uh like allen wakes third dlc as it is

controls so they only touched on it a little bit in control specifically so that they can elaborate here a little tiny bit but here it's like like allen talks to you okay allen wake time which leaves it in a really weird place because control isn't allen wake two it's its own game right and this is like the definitive ending to control one's storyline or what have you and the whole time i was playing it i kept going oh my god they they did that or they connected

this or they brought that back or oh that's what they're implying for the future of whatever series right and then i beat it and the the finale has a big big big stinger for the future of remedy and what remedy might be working on next and i all i could think of is man if you just picked up control and haven't played like max pain or allen wake this shit probably fucking sucks because it is required reading it's not like nudge nudge it is like allen wake is a like

direct prequel like level of required reading well is this not just like that 5.3 stuff you know all the uh all the the ff 14 crossovers the difference the difference is that that is nice and vague this is like direct this this is well the tactic stuff was direct wasn't it no yeah but it's still like they they attempt to slow to self-contain it to a degree versus here there's no attempt to self-contain there's never going to be another final fancy tactics game that comes out that

asks you to have played final fancy 14 mm okay all right where when allen wake 2 comes out it will have assumed that you played the control dlc okay right right the same way that the control dlc assumes that you played allen wake allen wakes america nightmare in both dlcs i tend to find that um you know a solution to that if you're gonna spread things in this way would be to have a nice little video people can watch yeah probably when the time comes you know i'm seeing people compare it to kingdom hearts and you know what

yeah it's almost kingdom hearts well like it um there's kingdom hearts certainly but have you have you walked down the pathway of uh franchise where the pachinko games plot matters i have not currently welcome to guilty gear oh is that true yeah for real yeah it does it's one of those things where it's like you you as much as you want to turn and ignore uh that detail it actually does

matter uh that's ridiculous that's ridiculous um it so yeah it's like it's it's this really weird thing where i love where they went for it but it it goes so far in this storyline as okay i know how to explain it it goes so far in its crossover potential and it must hit so poorly if you didn't play allen wake one that by the end of this dlc i feel like you could call the game allen wake two comma control

right right right right like it's it's it's that and important if you have no idea what is happening like the that dlc makes almost no sense at all to the point where like you find these notes and the notes have blacked out names but i'm able to intuit who those characters were and i go oh cool but instead they're just you know kind of flavorless notes at least you didn't have to watch a your ha stage play you didn't have to watch the your ha stage play they put the important i know in the game i know but it's it's it's it's it's better when you tell people that you they do

though it's better when you tell everybody they had to go watch a play yeah aside from that man control super good very good game very excellent good game from a gameplay perspective there's one real problem the dlcs have where in the base game you you go like da da da da get a new power like throw or whatever right or shield da da da use that new power yada yada the dlcs have no progression at all so it's like

when you play through the whole game in the dlcs it feels like you hit like the power cap on your character's abilities and like the 60 mark and then you just you're just doing kind of the same thing okay usually you want to introduce new something you know enemies and abilities is the way that tends to go there is one new something in the alleyway dlc but it's it's pretty mediocre in terms of its implementation okay but all-in-all boy great and it is it is weird to finish a game and have a

character this is not what happens is my paraphrase version a character look into the camera and be like boy we're working on something it'll be ready in a couple years look forward to that please wink yeah i mean you know here what are your your your sequel hooks are what they are um i would like if from announced i don't know the obviously the full story of these things but i would like it

if that franchise could continue to like make new things that connect to them to the world instead of putting a two after anything you know there is there is definitely room for that there is an implication um uh that i think they can't do it because of rights reasons because i think rockstar owns max pain now right right right right right but i believe but they use max's voice actor to uh to act for alan wake's hard-boiled detective

character when you read his books so like max pain is a novel inside alan wake and is he not also the um the smoking guy in the is also the director yeah the the voice actor is anyway so okay and also uh did you ever see um the scientist darling in any of those videos does a ring of bell like he's a nerd with a lab coat and big glasses doesn't ring at all he's one of the main characters of control he's also just straight up played by alan wakes actor okay

so there's all this it's all this fucking mixing and matching okay um cool that's pretty much it for me uh i played bastion again on stream hey guess what still great still incredible musics a plus resolution fixed i remember you were having issues with the uh uh yeah it's a little goofy it's a little goofy the bastion has one little detail about it that is actually hilarious to go back to which was back when uh super giant games

thought everyone wanted their melee button to be on the b button because every time you pick up a new weapon it replaces what's on your x button so you always end up with two like guns going throughout the game it's good but yeah that game's great let me do a transistor later in the week because i never actually played it i just straight up just skipped right over it yeah i'm curious i don't know how you're gonna feel about it so i'm curious i'm curious to see how that goes uh i'm also going to be do it let me

let me fucking look up the name of this game because uh i got contacted by focus home to do a stream on a warhammer game that has a complex title it is called necromunda under hive wars which despite the game looking cool might be the shittiest title i have ever heard of uh just back to transistor for a second uh whatever you start that up you might want to ask page to sit in on it i think she will have a great appreciation for i don't know

i don't know she hates the humming and bastion really yeah because i feel like so transistor might hit a real annoying spot there i feel like the main character in transistor will like absolutely land really well maybe i don't know i tried this before i was like oh transistor how it's got the redhead who sings she goes oh cool well she doesn't really sing she mainly hums and she was like that's fucking stupid i'm like okay all right well

americans what are you gonna do they got no taste you shut up i mean they're sick back to the void with you woman they're singing too it's not just humming but there's a reason for anyway all right it's nice it's very nice all right so on the stream this week over twitch.tv slash pat stare sad i'm gonna do the necromunda i'm gonna do transistor and on wednesday we're gonna have a late night stream after the dog's gone to sleep with a special

guest in a mystery game who could it be that's it that's the announcement okay i did it yeah oh and woolly i don't know if you saw this but don't you dare come into the stream and ask me how i'm doing don't you fucking dare that is some outrageous offensive shit i am choking down bile in my throat answering that question 35 times in a stream oh my god you small talking little pieces of shit how dare you yeah yeah man sometimes it's just

the problem there i think the problem with that i saw that tweet and what bugs me what bugs me there is that it's not like even just the person's like what they're saying it's that the message is formatted in a way that is like i'm dropping knowledge on twitter right now you know yeah you know like those those those those tweets that have a certain format some of them are like normalize this this this this you know or you don't do this this is what you actually do hey it's hey instead of

instead of saying hey you look not fat today say hey you look nice this is a way to make people happy right so there's a there's a there's a you know and like in some cases it's like or like we didn't grow up doing this we were actually suffering through that or something and there's a format to it you know right but instead it's hey don't ask people how they are that's disgusting wait what what yeah just fucking just chill just chill you're having one of the

that's one of those like because the thing about those right is the four when you when you use that format is you're doing it and you're waiting for the line behind you of people to form like yeah we're doing this together and then they look back and no one's there no why is no one here i ask everybody how they're doing when i start my thing every time so let's let's actually back up a bit we're making fun of the streamer who put forth the the hot fact that asking a streamer how they're doing is like gross and annoying and you

shouldn't do it because uh it's wasteful small talk and that is how you doing is the most innocuous boilerplate form of human courtesy that literally exists it is performative politeness it's it's it's most of the time not even a real question yeah it ever asked somebody how they're doing and they tell you and you're like i don't actually want to know all this shit this is too much i mean if that if that yes that's a real thing if that like i think if that bugs you like it

might actually be an indicator that you have made a wrong choice in like profession if that really gets through to you because it's such a nothing and i don't know this is acting with the average human being makes you want to vomit maybe this isn't for you maybe maybe i you know what i always have to do though i always have to go like look maybe there's something about this like non like issue that flavors itself differently in a different realm or sphere of twitch right

maybe like if you're on like thirst trap twitch or like some other category there's a factor that changes the dynamic so that it's like oh for most people this is fine but in this context that ends up being another way you know maybe there are things that i would apply that logic to i don't think this is one of them but just just a simple how do you do it's it's just a it's it's it's how do you like i would it's almost it's rude if you forego that in a way you know if you just get like all right fuck it shut up

do your do thing say thing like it's just you know anyway yeah that was weird it's like a one i i posted about that and i got like a flurry of responses one of the most common of which was people saying you know what pat i'll be honest i sometimes log in your stream type the phrase pat shut the fuck up and leave right right and i'm like you know all right that's correct okay yeah that works that's fine too that's fine

normal live saying shut the fuck up and leaving yeah if you say shut the fuck up that's rude but if you leave right away it means you're not pressuring them to actually shut the fuck up you're just telling them that you think it's a really good idea oh yeah no that's no the power is in leaving yeah like that you don't cash out the damage until you close the window like that's right the non committal like the non the the the absolute lack of concern for how the message is received is what actually

makes it powerful um well anyway all that's going down over at angriest pat that's me that's wait no it's not anymore that's pat stares at no we're a pair and pat stares at now angriest pat is dead he died right it's sad very sad rip that's twitch.tv slash pat stares at there you go it's an eyeball motif i have it's an eyeball uh over yonder on on my side of things what did i do uh i watched the godfather uh sat and watched the godfather so is this a rewatchers is the first one no

it is a proper watch because a watch was done an attempt was done once before with some friends that uh it was not the right mood it was not the right atmosphere it was not a slow night people were getting way too drunk and it was you know yeah that's not not the attitude to be watching that movie under so uh that that attempt failed but i know but obviously it was one of those things where you're like hey knowing the um knowing the i realized watching it i'm

like i know so many lines from this fucking thing there's so much and not just the most from the osmosis right like not just in terms of like uh uh uh uh the the you know your your fucking part five door closing moment you know not just those things but like little bits and pieces of fucking you act like a man what's the matter with you and monday tuesday friday saturday like all these little bit things where i'm like oh my god every 20 minutes this movie is

dropping a quote that i already knew you know kind of shocked you hadn't given it uh more of a examination before this concern you you talk at often about how much you like the sopranos love the sopranos love good fellas casinos are right um love a lot of that and yeah exactly it mainly um uh also uh uh show and punch mom some of the old mafia movies you know and things like that um but yeah it was one it was just godfather was a gap

in the knowledge for a long time it was when i was going back to to rent all the old classics uh that was one that like because i had started it with my friends i was kind of like grabbing other things and i just never got back around to it so you know time came did it guess what hey fucking perfect movie what are you gonna say like do they ask you know what about the status of the gaba goo they actually bring up the gaba goo the capico the the the the gaba goo the proshoot

and i want to say what the third what's the third one there's a third one all in the same line yet in the same line what was it punch mom punch mom it's a cannolis what did you just yell what it was oh okay gaba ghoul proshoot and capico capo no but capico is gaba ghoul capico is gaba ghoul but there's a third one no all right anyway

i don't know but it's it was in there um and uh yeah you got it all in early you got the you know the as soon as as soon as like the camera like cut to a tight shot and you saw the jaw come up i'm like look how they massacred my boy right you know all of that you see it coming this the day my daughter's wedding but it that that uh it's pretty incredible but what i what i i guess um most like impacted by is the level of mutsudel mutsudel there you go mutsudel the the level of um i didn't realize that there was a

pichu stage two alpachino's pikachu alpachino's raichu is the way that we know him now right alpachino as we know him now is it's out yeah all right just kill oh touch but don't taste look but don't touch it's crazy yeah yeah ducachino right that's the owl we know that's not the owl that we always had the owl that we used to have was carlitos way and uh even tony montana you know back in the old days where he'd be a little bit more like air i'm talking to you like this i'm just everything's

a little quiet or a little bit you know i gotta have a little implication i'm trying to show what i was there it is what it is you know and he would just he would speak very quietly and it was only later that the whoa came around you know so i was like oh that's early phase late phase that's pikachu that's your raichu you know when you watch this he's way before that he's not even at the quiet talker level yet he's so young in this that he's just normal guy he's just there's like don't understand like michael what is a normal pacino michael corleone is just a normal guy

there's nothing there's no mannerism about it he's just there he's oh he plays the michael corio i didn't know that you know i've never seen this movie by the way okay okay well yes he is just he's absolutely he's just like oh that's a that's a that's a guy and he's an actor look at that you know he's so far away he's so many degrees away of self-parody from she's got a great ass you know and they don't even remotely resemble the same person

and it's kind of wild so there was a pre-evolution when i thought the earliest we got was that that carlitos way energy you know um alpichuno yes exactly there you go there i don't understand why people don't know that i didn't watch the godfather i don't give a shit about italian mafia crap yeah i love it i'm a huge fan i don't give a shit i'm way in the only thing i like about casino and good fellas is joe peshy being terrifying yeah

that spider you stutter and prick you it's great it's so much fun it's so much fun um but but uh yeah yeah knows it was really you know and then of course uh the other things know uh you you you know just in case you you you weren't aware but like there's actors that are like bit parts in um good fellas and bit parts in uh godfather that become major act parts of of sopranos later you know things like that so it all kind of connects oh and so in sopranos like oh my look we got the guy yeah exactly the guy from

the thing yeah so uh uh chris multisanti is he's like the the second in command in sopranos kind of guy he's the dude that uh joe peshy shoots accidentally in uh in good fellas spider he's shooting him in to make him dance and he shoots him in the foot and then you know and he kind of goes like he kind of goes like all right whatever don't make me think about what i did like that whole scene is is that and then uh uh uh phil leotardo the one of the bad guys in sopranos is

um billy bats and in good fellas the guy who gets beat the fuck down at the bar and stomped out that goes go home and get your fucking shine box he gets pretty stomped out you know um so like all of these people are actually uh yeah there's a connection there um i would say that when you're going around the uh yeah quote-unquote accidentally exactly uh i'd say when you're going around oops we accidentally stomped on him in the bar for 10 minutes uh

shoutouts to as well uh the the details like um uh joe peshy doing the funny how scene you know yeah i'm funny funny how what are you i'm some kind of comedian to you like that's act that was that's improvised and actually totally based on uh a real made man back when peshy was working at a restaurant that didn't take it too nicely uh that he was complimenting him um but uh yeah no all of that includes so you you can go through that and for the most part you know what i would imagine you do the godfathers you do

the the scorsese and okay have you seen god so you're rewatching godfather one for the first time like for real yeah have you seen godfather two recently are you gonna move on to that i'm gonna move on to that the reason i ask is because even via far away and not being a fan of the genre i have heard the most toxic shit about godfather three like it is yeah the worst oh oh yeah oh yeah old men fucking load that movie and we'll go to their graves spitting it spitting at it that's what i've heard a lot about it we're and i'm

gonna find out we're gonna go and we're gonna find out of vitro for that as i see for like a rocky five where it's just like pretend it doesn't exist just pretend yeah you know godfather three is the dmc two of the 70s best movie you know absolutely uh so i that's it so um you get your scorsese's in there you get your fucking you know your your uh uh um frances fort coppola's and um i would also say is worth including at the very minimum

the sicilian scene of true romance oh yeah i've seen that if you haven't seen the movie that's okay you need to see those 10 minutes the sicilian scene is it's chef's kiss it's so fucking good and uh i i i so uh that's one of those things too i should punch mom that we're just like listen man this is a movie it's not directed by but it's written by quentin tarantino so the flavor of the movie is like a little bit off sometimes a bit weird but the best scene in the movie by far for this one scene is 10

minutes 10 minutes of two people talking tarantino like dialogue and uh you know chris walkins doing chris walking at his best oh this guy and uh it's it's fucking beautiful it's fucking beautiful i'll take one of those chester fields now if you don't mind you know the moors anyway that every you know me you know me i do know you that is my jam um boy was that great and we rewatched it uh afterwards this weekend too and had a good time so yay

look at that hot takes the godfather is a good movie and um i bet it is anytime anytime anybody you meet is like oh yeah i'm from um from my family sicilian you know just you just got to say hey you know the moors a certain emoji pops to mind just just dot dot dot right there and they're like what what about them so that or they'll or either that or they'll go i know the fucking movie i know i've seen the movie all right so the fucking cultural contamination in my mind takes a slightly different path

because you say sicilian then you say the moors then my brain autocompletes to the moops what is that are you familiar with this no well you see george thought he was making great time getting down to the hamptons and jerry lost the car so then they got lost and they had to stop for directions at which point george ended up talking to the bubble boy then in a ploy to save time they ended up playing trivial pursuit with the bubble boy who correctly answered a trivia

question the moors however the card was hilariously misprinted at which point george said nah it's the moops causing the bubble boy to try and choke george and in the ensuing struggle the bubble was broken fuck me i don't remember that i i i i don't i don't think uh i've probably only seen that episode once way back when that's crazy okay i have seen every episode of sign fell a couple times let's just say a couple times i feel like i've seen every

episode at least once but i don't have the mod catalog to that to that i i i used to watch so much sign felled when it was on syndication that my sister and i had a running like uh like competition to see how fast you could remember the plot of the episode and it got to the point where it was before jerry opened his mouth during the opening bit wow like the the breathing for he doesn't even do was the joke yeah that show was a lot on the tv

yeah it was it was for good reason it still holds up there's only i've talked about this in the past except for one thing cell phones yeah yep it's it destroys the plot of almost every episode mm-hmm um have you watched all of curb no okay it was tough curb is tough i have to restart it i was making good progress i must have got a good uh three or so seasons in but i've gotta i've gotta like i i stopped watching curb because of you actually hmm

because i was watching curb and i watched the whole first season or first two seasons and i came on to the podcast and i said i don't get what's up with this show because every episode larry's completely right right and everyone's trying to get him yeah and you looked at me like i had pulled out a gun you looked at me like i was insane and the room was like pat what the fuck larry's insane he's wrong in every situation the point of

i don't know the point of took his clubs and he's gonna get buried with my clubs those are my golf clubs well i'm gonna let him get buried in him the point of curb is that larry is consistent at very least but always absolutely fucking like like sociopathically self-involved well anyway yeah shouldn't have borrowed my clubs and died yeah uh good stuff um

the other thing i did was uh went back and played uh the arksis fighting game shinpan no so-so say kengore tsuden aka decide the destiny man that's it you got your uh fist of the north star arksis fighting game uh fucking awesome still great uh it was one of the earliest like uh ip fighting games they've they've made if i'm not sure if it's the first they've ever made but it was definitely like amongst the amongst the earliest because uh that's ps2 era

and then after that which they fucking nailed it um you got dragon ball and and persona showing up at the door and you know you just go yeah give these guys your anime they'll turn it into something amazing um i you know it kind of i wish that they were the kind of company that could do more but if you think about how like a bunch of anime will come out right and then like naruto and uh my hero and you know fucking bleach whatever it is they'll just be like yeah man just make like a

3d arena fighter throw it out there put a lot of characters in it and then add on for the sequels um just get cyber connected do it just do whatever and like you look at the work arksis puts in on these games and they build a fucking incredible unique system for each of these games and like you know arks like even though they're all anime and even though they're all air dashers like fist of the north star plays nothing

like persona plays nothing like dragon ball oh nothing like you know um it's like saying they make noodles yeah right the only things can be anything the only thing you they have in common is they're fast and they have uh uh lots of meter and you can air dash in the gauges you know gauges and they might have an instant kill then again no dragon ball doesn't maybe but um yeah it's it's kind of nuts you know so you just go back to it and like yeah every little thing in this game dude even though it's a pretty

small roster uh it fucking it's just so much very small roster for them like it's what is it like eight probably eight uh nine if you count uh uh uh keno but it's fucking just it's so much fun it's so broken it's so insanely busted like one of the best poverty examples where comboing in that game is meant to get harder as time goes on because your character uh is supposed to drop out of combos that last too long but yeah it's supposed to get heavier

but what happens is they eventually get so heavy quote unquote that the the uh I guess it would be the integer like inverts itself and becomes a negative number and so they start bouncing up higher and higher where the weight makes them bounce further and more comboable the longer you go once you hit a certain point if I remember correctly that's what's responsible for gondi in civilization the overflow so new cappy yeah is that he overflows

the path of civism into like genocide amazing love that kind of fucking glitch you know love those bugs so in this case it opens the game up to an incredible level of like combo nonsense and uh you get these amazing videos of people taking selfies while they're getting comboed in grand finals uh you know just I what I did before this week we took a look at it on um getting to fighting games I went over some of the best videos of Hokuto no Ken including my favorite match of a fighting game of all time

yeah ever is a match of fist of the north star and we watched it it's the most exciting thing it's the most exciting thing ever so uh tune in for that it's it's literally I don't think we still have we still haven't beaten it of all fighting games and it's like the shittiest video recording worst quality ever horrible audio Japanese announcer just losing his mind but it's it's the best it's you know so tune in to the episode check that out and some other really fun ones as well there's that's not the only one

um I really really wish that the people holding the license behind that game gave enough of a shit to port it forward it seems like they're content with muso games representing the brand I I would love it if arksis kept on the bandwagon of like listen shitty anime series for nerds let's make something valuable out of you like with grandblue right yeah they took that gotcha nightmare and they made something cool that'd be nice um what if they did that with like other garbage like uh

what's something that'll make people say melancholy of harrowy susie you should have just make it do it should have just said like fuck it should have said fate I should have said fate but that was too obvious it's and it's already got a fighting game but oh no yeah it's already got like 10 fighting yeah I feel like it's got a ton of them did we play any of them yeah we played um we played uh fate unlimited codes aka fuck okay we played fuck all right okay good excellent I remember when fates day night first got announced

and I was really hoping to see a melty blood style french bread uh fighting game come out of it and feels like the most obvious thing in the world and then it didn't happen it's not the way they went with it you know but uh saber showed up in a bunch of places so you know anyway uh but which saber the one with the sword made of wind but what about the red one I know just the one from the original from fates day night the fat one that mom posts about

yeah I don't know the other ones man like there was that that whole conversation was so weird and meta because like literally the dumbest thing that I don't know about fate is what's the deal with fat jalter only to go to twitter and be like see people going why the fuck is pat talking about fat jalter and then mom going I'm sorry that's my bad it's my twitter that caused fat jalter to appear on your podcast someone needs to film uh their history class as they give a presentation

with these history figures in their fate forms and just get the teacher's face just get get the teacher's face as they describe what fate is and who and who these historical figures are that one's tomas eddison I need to see I need I need to see the the the history teacher that's in his last five years on the job just die inside and realize that hey at least they're retaining information I suppose

they're not they've retained nothing all they've retained is not having money because they had to waste all of it on their ssr plus bathing suits he didn't realize until it was too late that if you waifu eyes history yeah then you can teach it in an effective manner just turn history into waifu wars it's that simple worked for axis powers have fucking hitalia man god damn it ah what a shame so much potential so much fucking potential

if they weren't scared if they weren't fucking cowards if they really leaned into it and just made everything what it should have been hitalia would have been the greatest thing of all time they just made it the anime equivalent of that fucking text document that's pretending to be a civilization game of the world yeah no it had to be polite you know anyway anyway someone's gonna do it eventually just eventually you know um i beat speaking of remembering history

uh i saved reach oh yeah i did it saved it huh saved it oh man totally big he wrote up and defeated the covenant and everybody fucking made it it was great what a what a what a amazing end to the halo franchise to go back to the most victorious moment in reach history and halo where you get that final mission and it's like save the halo yeah i mean everything about this game was telegraphed by the nature of its existence

right so um i think a lot of people expected me to be surprised by the events whereas like the first thing i said starting it was yeah this is rogue one because we're going back to before the fall and essentially showing you what happened so you know how the story goes now the question is is how much can you make it hurt before we hit the credits you know when's Darth Vader gonna turn off his breathing apparatus well uh they made it really good and there are some pops in that game

it's actually my my second favorite after two oh yeah reach to me is my second for me it's halo two halo reach right now then three yeah um incredible like the you know and again and it's it was and the fact that i liked it as much as i did knowing what where it was going and just appreciating how they did it i give it the extra credit you know like the moment that like you know you're you're getting to that you're getting through your finale and then i'm like oh look it's zack's last stand yeah let's do it

and it fucking works um incredible incredible so yeah reach uh gets a lot of credit for that um it also does a really fun uh uh does a really good thing i mentioned this last time but the vibe switch the change of uh the feeling where you're not the super soldier hero saving the galaxy you're a squad of grunts rolling out doing your job and uh people are talking on comms and the covenant do not speak english they speak fucking whatever alien language because they're a foreign ass

threat and it it takes them and it makes them scary again yeah you know uh there's moments where you complete the mission and you get to the drop ship and you're like yay victory and as your drop ship pulls out you see 18 defeats in the horizon just in the 180 the drop ship has to 180 to turn around and blast off and in that one pan you're like there are like eight or nine different failed missions in my sight right now before we fucking take off and you're like oh boy

the covenant is is a problem there's a lot good in that game like everybody talks about the final mission is the the big one but for me the absolute height of that game's like nah like just the game shaking its head at you going nah is that elaborate mission we're gonna bomb that fucking cruiser man we're gonna bomb that fucking capital ship and your your buddy stays behind yeah bomb yep and he's like make it count make it count oh it was such a fucking huge sacrifice but look at that fucking thing

light up yeah and then like 10 just come in seconds later just bam bam bam like oh this is so pointless the one thing i said about so pointless the one thing i said about that moment was they could have the one thing they should have done there is he he sends you off and he does the hero and they should have had that explosion stall for just a moment to see the ships arrive and then it goes off so he would have the chance to see it

and go not good for your drama that's just sad for that guy and also he's not seeing through like a mile of shit but if you want to fucking just oof you need to have that moment overlap by just like three seconds you know that would have been fucking brutal but anyway um right you're evil it would have been good though it would have got you bad man no that's how you write it man that's how you write it because then you're extra like don't write things that's wrong

you're then you're extra like fuck these people that would have been great um anyway uh i think uh i think yeah if that's gut wrenching willy as war should be should it not anyway it was great it was really good that's a weird sentence like war should be gut wrenching if you're telling a story and it's fictional yeah yeah it's just like i'm not exactly gonna sit here and tell you the war should be easy breezy no it shouldn't shouldn't be clean uh it's why

uh saving private ryan had the impact it did when i watched it because i'm like oh yeah yeah no that makes more sense right when the camera's on the ground with you and you're seeing the way this should look you're like oh yeah no it shouldn't be this thing taking place from a distance with generals around the lit up fucking uh uh you know uh computer screen nah man it should be fun and cool like the call of duty oh we got there eventually um but yeah anyway i i think uh that's that's all i

i was like in with that moment i just had a little version there but but regardless not to get too caught in the fucking weeds um that was uh really really well done uh there was definitely some flubs where you're like that's just a uh uh a full-on plot hole that just pulled up shot a bullet and then flew away you know worry about it don't think too hard about why uh this this covenant ship seems to want to just cause the most tragedy right here in this one particular way and then laugh as it flies away

you know even if there is a backstory behind who that is and what because it's evil yeah um but that's you see that's the difference though the difference between like like uh puppy kicking evil like we we we spent the time to like snipe you and just you and then leave like like pawing our fingers together versus just the the the the sadness of of mistime mistiming you know i think uh anyway so that was that was there uh that's a kind of fucking goof and um

not entirely uh from reach but just something that i happened to hit before i started this and and i talked about it um in in the lp the halo three legendary terminals include some really cool extra details about the story and uh one of them is uh mind-blowingly fucking incredible and it is a description of the final confrontation between uh basically the two ai that are fighting each other at the moment that the halo goes off in the past for the first time and it is told from the

perspective of these ai from this ai uh controlling the battlefield at that point because um the forerunners are essentially letting these letting this ai offensive bias take care of the the fighting just take control of the ships do what you have to do and um mendicant bias the original evil ai that is like on the side of you know uh the the the flood and all that is coming with uh it like the numbers it's using to describe this battle are like so impossibly huge like millions upon millions of ships

involved in one area that it's like this could never be depicted in any way outside of text unless someone went insane at like blur studio and tried to do it you know um but what is described is uh so fucking rad that like i would respect the attempt if they ever bothered but it does it in a timeline fashion where it describes the point at which um there's a there's a point you get to where you know humans are still involved and they're pretty much like we know this

is just a matter of stalling for time because the flood or a problem and everyone here is like okay we got to let the halos do what they do and um did i i don't know did i talk about this already i feel like i'm getting deja vu but no okay they i don't know what you're talking about okay they hit a point where uh they're counting down the the the timer until the halo goes off and right in the final moments of like this like flood controlled ai side versus the the forerunner side

they realized that like okay now that um they have the fight to stop things as much as they can and they have ships practically kamikaze-ing themselves into different groups and whatnot but it hits a point where the the way that it describes it is uh the halo goes off and it destroys all life in the area and it's for the best that uh the humans are no longer around for this because with them not being in the ships i'm going to be using dreadnoughts to do things that should not be physically

possible except that we have warp drives on them and it starts describing the way it's using warp drives as like just like it's throwing them in nonsense formations at the millions and millions of flood to just stall for time essentially and uh i'm like this is the coolest space battle i've ever heard described and it's such a shame that it's too ambitious to ever be depicted you know um incredible incredible um anyway whatever i get wrong about the lore on

that i don't know yet so i'm still going through the adventure uh uh but just that's that was something that i thought was really really really fucking cool and uh yeah halo halo one two three and reach down hey wait a second is this about the bible oh my god because there was a arc and halos yeah we had this moment blood we had this moment it was a massive look covenant yeah so a little late to the party on it but there was a massive blow up wait

john 117 oh man that's like a moses thing yeah is mad is john halo moses not moses is he jesus not jesus he might be jesus he's probably not jesus more importantly um the moment that that dawned on me was captured it was a blow up and the further you dig the further you scratch the more you realize there's a flood there's an arc there's a covenant uh is kortana the apple no and i i don't yet know what kortana is

i'm not there yet i will find out more in the next but not right not yet um there's all kinds of fucking clear loud analogies that are that are quite hey look it's the bible it's the word of the almighty james jimmy excuse me i think the actual worst one ever so i'm obviously taking the piss i knew all this shit i'm just having fun see i think the actual worst one was the mass effect thing where in the future they're like tell us about the shepherd papa and you're like i'm gonna throw up i'm

gonna fucking barf fuck yeah well i i i will i will get to the bottom of it at some point but i'm sure there's more babbling to go uh reach was good um yeah no that's that's that's pretty much that i'm currently uh struggling in teppen lost my way trying to find uh no the the the the akumas the akuma deck isn't quite doing it it's doing it slowly but there's a lot of people that are doing some broken shit that i need to understand

so uh you know i'm continuing with that um but yeah you can check out all of this and of course uh sushi ma and what should be the finale of uh mario thousand year door coming up soon on woolly versus on twitch and woolly versus on youtube um of course there will be new things once that all cycles out including uh as well reached just finished off um are you in that kind of place where like almost everything is cycling out simultaneously starting to get a new

cycle going yeah we're about ready for a new cycle nerve-wracking period it is it is i've got some plans i've got some fun ideas but right now we are going to be going through the rotation uh sushi ma's gonna like obviously uh continue but um the others are all mixing up and uh i might have a special event to announce on this coming saturday uh i might be doing a special you're gonna announce it this saturday well i'm waiting for more details

on this but it's a it's a sponsored thing yeah i might be doing a sponsored special stream this saturday but i need to confirm whether or not things are happening so the schedule will look a little bit different please uh keep an eye out for this saturday and more details will pop up on twitter if and when i get confirmation of things they're gonna they're gonna write you back and be like no lol we canceled yeah in which case then it's not gonna go down and then i'll fucking just do

whatever but uh yeah right now the 12th is the day to to watch so um let's take a quick word from our sponsors if you'll excuse me i need to use the restroom all right a quick break then we'll be back in a couple minutes we'll be back in just a moment right so quick word from our sponsors who we got this week walls this week castle super beast is sponsored by bombus hey bombus socks y'all so you put them on you're not wearing socks right now and

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probably want to see those feet be a nice and nice and cozy nice and warm not all fucked up and creepy and weird listen put some coverings on your disgusting flesh stumps so that no one can see your horrible toes and if you're gonna cover up your flesh stumps make sure it's soft and nice like bombas there you go so give a pair when you buy a pair and get 20 off your first purchase at bombas.com slash super beast that's b o m b a s dot com slash super beast for 20 off

your first purchase bombas.com slash super beast buy some socks support the podcast support those in need so win win win thanks bombas thank you bombas uh and this week castle super peace is sponsored by express vpn as previously described this is the go-to simple solution that is just like hey do you want to unlock the ability to watch whatever you want without restrictions i do do you want to click a button

to undo the damage that living in a different country a different patch of dirt that says you're not allowed to enjoy what you want enforces upon you yes express vpn is that button it's it's pretty straightforward it's the vpn that you know you can basically set your uh you can set your privacy to be available in uh to be excuse me you can set your privacy settings you can emulate being in a different location and you can watch things on netflix that otherwise wouldn't be available to you um there's you can even go like

looking for the office in different countries we have a we have a french version of the office here there is a british version of the office of course the original but there's tons of multi-lingual ones from all around the world as well and uh you can check them out to see what's going on there personally i know uh using express vpn was how i was able to enjoy terrace house back in the back in the days of the season so you know absolutely get access to your

your your otherwise region locked content by getting express vpn i like to pretend i'm in jersey there you go not sure why but yeah because it's in america there you go that's good enough uh so yeah for less than seven bucks a month express vpn lets you access thousands of new shows and movies on netflix amazon prime disney plus tons of other streaming services it's a no-brainer and it couldn't be easier to use you just fire up the express vpn app on your computer your tv select a location and connect

uh if you're using it on browser it's literally you just click in your add-on thing on my phone yeah on my phone you just you tap it press the power button and it's on and that's it and it's uh it's super fast it doesn't slow down your connection that you got the ability to stream in hd with no issues so get the most out of your streaming services today at expressvpn.com slash super beast uh if you use our link you'll get an extra three months of express vpn for free that's expressvpn.com

slash super beast expressvpn.com slash super beast to learn more watch what you want unrestricted support the podcast it's all you need thank you express vpn express vpn so this week in game news uh hey nintendo celebrates mario a little bit uh huh yeah celebrates mario with the mario direct announcing super mario 3d all stars a collection of mario 64 totally the best way to play that game right now

totally the number one total yep just that's the way you want to play it um also includes mario sunshine mario galaxy it's like mario all stars back on the super nintendo except now it's the the 3d version wait a second woolly hmm where's mario galaxy two i don't know not there now i've heard a lot of good things about mario galaxy two uh it's great i've heard a lot of really good things about mario galaxy two i've heard some people even going as far as to say that it's their favorite

mario game it's probably my favorite mario game there you go um i didn't uh play it but considering how much i loved galaxy one i don't see that as a stretch because galaxy is my favorite mario game so yeah i believe it now didn't show up on that list why not who knows maybe they want to sell it later maybe they want to sell it after the timed the timed purchase window has expired

uh because for some reason alongside this announcement came the news that it will launch on september 18th and be available until march 2021 and it's like what the fuck are you doing why what is this what is this fake scarce uh economy you're trying to create this rush to uh to a purchase here with the what like like why are you treating digital as this weird shelf thing it's a file people want to download it they'll give you money for it it's

older games being reported and it's totally for sure for real the best-looking version of mario 64 totally not something that people could play in any other way if they wanted to with more options and visible control but they're putting it up on the shelf for a couple of months and then taking it down less than a year later i don't fucking understand what nintendo like why why is nintendo still like this i thought they were ironing and ironing out these kinks

so i'd like to add two pieces of information to this one of which is that by digging around on the 35th anniversary mario website it's been discovered that they left some old text in there that this shit was in fact delayed by like five or six months this shit was remember how early this leak this leak like over a year ago sure it was supposed to this we were supposed to be hearing about this and being talking about it coming out in like it's like six months ago which would have made more sense

because then it would have been like march to march and it would have been almost for the whole year of the 35th anniversary right second is that pre-orders for this thing are going for like 260 to 300 dollars uh for scalpers well this by making any limited physical item you are just handing scalpers money instead of yourself that's where i was going to go next it's nintendo apparently loves the secondary market that comes out to fucking uh haunt these situations

it's an absolute dream it's an absolute dream for them to see a game like this with a fucking expiry expiration date on it it is so baffling nintendo keeps doing this but every like how to be really limited you'll you'll have to really try hard to get it it's like no i won't get it at all i'll have to pay a scalper this is the kind of thing that you create you literally create this market out of nothing they learned nothing from the amiibos they learned nothing

it's it's amiibos it's metroid prime trilogy it's you know just like and it's and it's based on a simple thought clearly which is yeah end of fiscal year let's force the purchases to all happen in this limited window because remember if it's only here for a limited time you got to go now but it's like it's a fucking file man you're actually just making it so that most of the money from this will not go to you for the physical copies jackasses at the very least most certainly

um yeah it just it's so dumb you know i'll see if like if you do happen to be someone that has physicals because you don't want to have to commit storage storage space then well fuck you you know although i suppose you can just archive it and download it later but like they're they're creating a situation in which so there's a lot of complex emotions there's a lot of complex legal lease or whatever around the issue of emulators right particularly with nintendo yep however they are creating a

situation in which i believe the average person will feel morally justified pirating these games because they'll go we're selling it for a limited time and you go cool i've got a switch for my birthday i would love to play mario 64 that seems like a classic right and my birthday is in april so can i go down and get a copy of mario 3d all-star or whatever the fuck it's called and then nintendo goes no eat shit you bitch you missed the window the only place you can get it now is uh six hundred dollars from some shady

motherfucker on ebay and i go not even from you or no fuck you or you could always go plug in a game cube right oh which they don't sell anymore or a we which they don't sell anymore or an n64 which they don't sell right and so it's like it then it then it literally becomes nintendo says to you well i guess that's too bad you're not allowed to play this to which case the average person is gonna go oh okay then fuck you i'm gonna go download it lol

so um i i i think that it's awesome that there is uh this exists so that people that are super young can get access to these fucking amazing games they might otherwise might have dodged you know someone who uh might have just straight up been like yo my first mario game was odyssey like gets to go back and see some really cool shit and sunshine included which you know i wonder how much uh the new people are gonna i wonder what the new fans of sunshine are gonna

are gonna say about it considering at the time there was such a controversy but now it feels like a distant memory that's really kind of sunshine that you think there'll be new fans of sunshine i i'm one of the people that thinks that sunshine got too harsh of a fucking rap i happen i'm whatever the opposite of that person is you know i think i think i think sunshine is remembered too fondly i think people i think people were too mean to sunshine i think it was it was it was all right uh i had fun with it i definitely

thought there was um a complete like the the the the impact of galaxy and the impact of 64 are fucking earth shattering they're massive massive games sunshine did not have that impact at all but i think it not having that impact is not cause for it to be like oh no i really dislike sunshine all right like i i like and and and some of them are petty reasons like step one of me not liking sunshine and the fact that it never had a chance in my mind is that the flood sucks and is stupid

so like that that was my starting point on sunshine i thought the game was fun i had fun with the game that's that's about the beginning middle and end of it um but it's just uh it's just that stupid bird from banjo turned into a water hose yeah you know sort of the bird's name is kazooie by the way oh right that's not really a negative but uh anyway so sunshine is there people can play it new new new people can get their hands on it

and then they can fucking play galaxy and get their brains rocked by how awesome it is um but i you know and between this and like nocturnes coming out so you're like yeah new new generations of people new kids can get access to some awesome shit uh from from yesteryear but one it just sucks that like there's this double bummer with it the galaxy two part might come later so who knows but i just don't i don't know why they look at this and think that like the announcement is not going to also be marred with the

negativity of this second piece of information like i feel like if if retail stores still existed this would be the time for me to print out a bunch of stickers and go slap the sticker that says morally okay to steal after march 31st 2021 unless they decide to have some like we're bringing it back thing you know or like um i don't know i can't imagine like that you know or like here's uh here's we're working on galaxy two and here's a code for it now that's included for a new package or some shit i i i

just you think they'll put out new dlc content for a product you're not allowed no no not no not dlc no i think if anything galaxy two might be if they ever do it they might put that on some sort of a standalone thing or its own thing because it would make sense to bundle it with odyssey like odyssey's current fucking limited digital edition man yeah holy shit that's so stupid it really i feel like it's been a while since there's been a good old classic

nintendo foible i haven't had any like this recently and all you had to do was just announce that you're porting these old games that people love and that's it that's it that's all you had to do it's a win win win it's the anniversary some some companies don't even give a fuck about the anniversary of their characters they get no acknowledgement whatsoever you know some mascots are left in the dirt here yay nice big acknowledgement all you had to do was just go hey look the games are here now it's it's sick

it's awesome they were late they were delayed but it's it's fine it's here now and it's here to stay you know nintendo is the worst at this consistently of of like why can't you just be like a normal just be normal i like i thought they were getting better i really i it's wishful thinking uh but yeah this just reminds you that you're like no they're still treating this weird new digital age as as something that they can manipulate like they're treating it as if other

marketplaces don't already exist without this bullshit and that people are not never forget used to alternatives never forget that when um they brought in external uh support for the we use online they had to ask people please stop mentioning playstation network or xbox live none of our developers are familiar with those services they don't know what you're talking about when you describe them i'm still salty that the we motes have storage space in them but didn't allow you to cut to transfer your saves

what about how the fact that there was never a way to transfer your we you save ever at all yeah yeah yeah uh get an external and fucking uh uh uh uh hope for the best do your thing do you did you see that interview with sakurai about wi-fi yeah smash online today i mean okay that's a different it's a different docket but like sure is it i mean it's really straight it's really simple right but because to me this is more like i mean sakurai is not nintendo but it's like a perfect example

of like hey sakurai why don't you put wi-fi indicators in smash uh because if we do that then people will know when other players are on wi-fi and we don't want to do that and you know they could they could decline the match god bless um but you know keats is like yeah that's the point wait what do you mean keats is like everyone is like yeah i'm just saying i'm saying but then the other and then followed that up with the um the the the the description is of like do you think that uh it's like like why do you think wi-fi indicators exist

in current games a is it because developers of these video games know something about the way these connections work and that there is a difference between one type and another that can affect the performance of of of matchmaking or b uh lol nah i got the good wi-fi though they don't know what they're talking about i bought the good wi-fi you know like it's just it's like there's a reason why this currently exists in things right it's just behind the times everywhere else

and then you know um we got to watch as uh the the wi-fi smash warrior uh collective came out in fucking droves to just go to war with sejam over the uh the discussion about rollback and sakurai saying that um they could have done it but they didn't do it and that uh you know implementation difficulty was too high or whatever and it's like well that's upsetting well i heard we heard now now here's the thing right this is where it's great this is where it's great

because he's not wrong because we've confirmed this with fizzy the guy who literally put smash rollback in to melee yeah he did it himself right we talked to them and we talked to him and he explained he's like yes singles is one thing uh doubles multi uh four way would be another but it it'd be hard but it can be done and it was done by fucking icons the project m people's game that that came and went and it was a station all-star playstation fucking all-stars battle royale

had it so yes it's not easy but it was done by inferior smash clones and the guy with a couple of weeks on his hands your nintendo this is one of your flagship titles sells like 20 30 million copies it's a game easy for free that is released to a console that by default forces you into a wi-fi connection you can't get wired without going a roundabout way to do so everyone in this game could benefit the most from a good network a networking fucking

netcode excuse me uh but yeah no just nonsense and people who are just like completely uninformed about everything but very opinionated because hey feeling right and feeling wrong are the exact same thing just show up to um you know basically go fuck you elitists i got the good wi-fi nintendo's fine saccharized right i agree with him the netcode should stay bad you're like what can you what can you do except like

just you know it's it's so tiring to see competent professionals look into a camera and go but it's really hard as like while you're watching amateurs achieve it in their spare time because then but it's really hard turns into i don't want to yeah i hope that um what we're seeing here is again just the the last resistance of the fact that like we've already made it this way

and this is what we're committed to and we're not going to go back and build it from scratch and uh you know what i i i hope that this loudness is going to affect everything being worked on from here forward i think nintendo and smash would be the absolute last people to ever listen to the wave that's coming i think arcsis being the first is interesting i hope that it works out really well and i think if arcsis successfully does it with strife uh we're gonna see it uh kind of you know

we're gonna see it move on from there to other japanese companies but nintendo will absolutely be the last one to ever give a fuck about this they had to acknowledge it because enough people certainly made their will their their their thoughts known on the matter i don't know man but the acknowledgement is the best we'll get in which locals can happen and you got harata standing up going we're thinking of using ai to predict what your character's gonna do if your connection drops yeah so and yeah i'm like

what yeah yeah what is your fucking moral like it's opposition sarobo what the fuck is the problem here well and and and this is where i shout out kore gaming for being such an incredible fucking channel but great channel um the whole the thought process behind even that ai type of discussion is essentially that fighting games and this is this is you know kore had a video on this fighting games are at their most fun when you are fighting someone that is close to your skill level

this is where optimal fun window occurs uh blowing people out and or getting blown out yourself is not at all the same experience as having a close match with somebody and the developers know this and like harata talking about that and them getting into that ai stuff is just a a weird like you got to the same conclusion by walking through the wrong window through the wrong door we got to the same place of like okay we want people to have fun by fighting an opponent that's close to their skill gap

but instead of deciding to allow them to find a player in this large skill base that can match that with better netcode they're like maybe we can just simulate it with better cpu options and i i'm i'm genuinely starting to feel that it is because rollback was invented by americans it that's a part of it for sure but like just straight up that's a part of it because it's not the like it's not the full-on like you nasty american netcode as much as it is

we do things our way and this is we've had no one's sat down maybe they have at this point but i doubt it i'm gonna go ahead and say i bet you no one sat down to have the discussions with anyone from ggpo at a japanese company that might have had that discussion with a netcode specialist that jumped from snk to capcom to arcsis uh you know sat maybe maybe over to to bandai namco like there might have been netcode specialists that went through all these companies and they had a fucking couple nights together drinking and

having a good time and then they talked shop about netcode no one had that with the ggpl rollback world so yeah the the the the american part is absolutely part of it it's a situation where you've got ggpo and everybody involved with it going it's free use it it's use it it's free we'll provide documentation just use it it's good and capcom looks at that and goes yeah we could use that free solution that has all this documentation and has proven to work but let's do our own

badly twice like why just is it just because you didn't invent it progress is slow i really really wish it wasn't but it is and it just takes for fucking ever to get the message across and once it's received it then has to be beaten in through failure of maintaining the status quo so they need to be yelled at for long enough

loudly enough and then also fail many times before it's like we have nothing else to lose we might as well change i i i just want that league of legends fighter to come out and make them look stupid i don't even care if it's good like i just want it to come out and for all every all the reviews to be like wow this place really great online unlike street fighter five and then i want somebody to hold the netcode and development people sf5 up to a tv monitor and have them forced to play with

brazilians for a week from japan we've been doing things this way for a while now and that is fine nothing needs to change is a extremely difficult mindset to crack open it's just the way it is all right well that i mean we can circle that back around it's like what's wrong with the disney fault ah it works for disney right guys

apparently that moulin by the way is a oh that oh that that thread oh that thread uh the traditional watch along in the form of screenshots and a lot of twitter twitter um tweets in a row about the moulin re real the new moulin movie um strong 30 dollar film moulin uh shout outs to that other tweet about the whether the dude just dubbed over a scene in it dude oh yeah dude's gray was watching earlier i didn't know that donnie yen was in that

yeah i like donnie yen a lot to make it legit and donnie yen is now in with disney because of the fucking star wars it's the jedi crap he's in there now man it's been a long we've come a long way since shop along you know sure have those days are fucking gone donnie's great though um hmm well hey woolly you see that new video card hold on there was also mario's 3d world in bowser's fury

yeah but they didn't say what that was did that aka bowser's furry i saw that well i mean it's it's they're re-releasing mario 3d world and there we don't know what bowser's furry is but is this one limited time also this one is coming out on february 12th and has not been given an end date this should have been included in this package it should have but it is not because it is i guess one they're putting they're making a dlc campaign for it but two um i'm guessing they just kind of went yeah this is worth more

and to be fair rewatching that trailer i kind of got hit with a fucking nostalgia bomb of like oh my god that game was amazing mario 3d world was kind of incredible um i super for i forgot how good it was it was really good like absolutely fucking strong uh that's pretty good yeah i felt bad for forgetting it should be included in that collection anyway we continue to snatch the we use babies as we stomp it into its home it's kind of crazy how deep it is and yet we can still reach the

baby there's more babies there's always more babies back in the grave view uh yeah so that's coming out a month before all stars is delisted cool so please get excited for that awesome fucking nintendo okay so now then in the meantime i would like to pour one out hypothetically pour one out for my boy reggie who just finished uh buying a 2000 series oh no in advance of this announcement about a month or two ago

no they were already talking about these a month ago and he was told but he's building his new rig and he's doing it the way i fucking recommended he not do it which is getting them piece by piece he got the video card first uh he's he got i think he got his chipset and then he's gonna start getting other things and i was like dude that is the absolute worst way to build exactly and i tried to tell him this and then someone sent in a message to go dude they're already talking about the next generation the 3000s the nvidia 3000s we already know they're about to get to

drop i was looking at leaked benchmarks like two weeks ago we told him it's a rough i told you so but it fucking happened i've been looking at building a new pc and like just keeping my existing one as a backup or maybe a recording device right that kind of thing maybe put it upstairs have it be like a second streaming room but like so i'm looking at like getting an amd thing right i'm looking at motherboards i'm looking at processors what do i find out what's the first thing i find out that i look up i go and i click

upcoming amd processors and you get a page of the new processor from amd or rumored to come out in september october i go okay well i'm not going to choose my motherboard until i know what the processors are so i'll fucking wait until they at least exist the video cards like nvidia does the same fucking thing every single year at the same time in the same month they always do in august yeah i mean you know he's he's new to this game and like i and you know getting advice

from a couple sources and i think he kind of listened to someone that was like oh look there's a deal there's a deal on these get that you know there's a you can go get these now and like you the frenzy of some friends being like uh oh shit go get this part right now it's on sale or whatever just kind of kicks in ever and that is literally a buyer's trap that they do a hundred percent the manufacturer the manufacturers two months before the new cards come out put in some shitty two hundred

dollars off a two thousand dollar card deal and then they go hey because they know that the price on those things is going to crash down like five hundred dollars the the day that the new ones get announced so the fucking 3080 gets announced and it's everything and more and it's less expensive than the one he got you you've you've seen the 3090 right you've literally seen the photo of the fucking thing the baby the thing that's the size of a child sent it to you like the fucking foot long

38 pound video card so like step one first of all is like find a box that's even gonna fit the shit in it easy any any decent mid-size atx that has a storage bay that can be removed we'll fit it okay uh second is and this is an important one and you are probably well aware of this the first generation might suck so this is the second generation of the style of car the first generation was the last one and it kind of did suck um you got to wait for the second

impact what you're thinking of is the first batch and yes the first batch might suck there's a higher likelihood at the very beginning to get a brick in the mail that has totally happened to me so you need to kind of wait a little bit to see how it's going before dipping your toe in especially on that this kind of investment that used to be the case more but now they the now the way that it ends up working is that

a couple days before the cards actually go on sale tom's hardware and hard ocp and legit reviews and all those places will have their benchmark reviews and performance reviews up ahead of time so you still might run into like a brick being sent to you but in terms of actual performance per dollar you'll know uh like nobody got it and got a 2080 ti a couple years ago not knowing what they were gonna get okay fair enough um hard ocp is gone that sucks oh man

but um and also and here's the funny thing the reason why they do that now especially is because if the reviews aren't out by the time the things go like live you're not going to get a card you're just not going to get it the idea of like waiting you get so you get to either get it the day they go live on sale or wait until next year so um i'm not i don't we i've had this the discussion a couple times now and it was like like reggie just came in and slumped defeated

onto the couch and i'm like dude look you should have passed him along to me because i would have fucking screamed he knows he knows he knows at this point right it so it's not to rub salt in the wound on this thing right but like uh it is very clear at this point that like that was the fuck up that was the mistake but here's what i'm but here's what i'm telling him all right i'm like reggie you're you're trying to build yourself a nice rig right you want to you he wants to stream with it and stuff um are you going to be streaming

in 8k anytime soon 8k 60 at that probably not right probably not so what you're looking to to to play and stream um will be more than handled by what he got yes it will absolutely he will be fine and when unless he unless he goes cheap on the processor uh i think he's taking his time with it i'm not a hundred percent but i think he's i think he's going not cheap on it but of course saving up for it but like okay by the way the processor

there are new processors coming out in a month and a half okay all right all right okay yes there are new ones coming in like six weeks okay i will i will let him know that immediately and fucking send him in this direction because here's the thing um the the the it's what he has his problem is more than fine for what he's planning to do and then um a couple years maybe two years from now if and when you start seeing like regular application of 8k then you want to kind of look into it when

the platforms that you can use it on are ready for it then you might want to possibly consider your options based on what is available to buy but for now what you have is fine and it will be fine for a very long time and that's the main thing is that like he knows that but it just feels bad to know that the generational leap has already occurred and is cheaper and it's right there and that you're getting stuck cards like the 2080 so what do you get a ti 2080 ti or 2080 uh i think it was was it a 75

or an 80 i'm not i don't it was there is no such no no i think i think i think he i think he said i think he said 2080 i think he said 2080 okay he sent me a picture 3080 is like 300 cheaper and literally twice as fast yeah so it sucks to know that that is out there for that price it does let him still do everything he set his goals for nothing will be out of reach like the product he purchased will do what he needs it to do yeah it's just extra knowledge

that fuck you know now here's the thing everybody has made this mistake with pc stuff at some point most of us made this mistake back in the 90s and it cost us like $60 in terms of opportunity cost right nowadays these things oh the pricey fuck you really really gotta fucking learn it's like learning a skill yeah figuring out what when to buy your pc parts and not just that but not getting suckered into

oh shit it's on sale right but actually at least for me because i'm like i've been through the ringer on this i've built my shit i've done it now it is wait till you can have the whole thing put together and sent to you complete right or at least all the pieces and at the very least all the parts and then you do it yourself whatever you want but so waiting to have it all it actually has a new egg has a really good feature for this where they have a pc builder air quotes but it's literally just pick out all

the parts and they'll be like do you want this this this this and they only show you compatible motherboards and compatible cpus and then only when every box on this thing is ticked do you hit the button piecemeal one at a time putting it on the shelf to stare at it and feel good that you have one more piece of the puzzle purchasing is exactly how you fuck yourself over in this way so it's also a good way to fuck yourself over with rma's because if you buy a stick of ram that ends up being

defective and then it is uh now i actually been sitting on your shelf for two months yeah yeah might be a little you might be closer or even over the uh fucking warranty for it and you want to talk about like a customer service and and and return policy there has never been a field of hardware i can think of that was more aggressive with absolutely no returns under no circumstances than pc hardware

you're fucking holding whatever you purchase it made its way to you that's done unless you found unless you know something i don't know uh i mean you get an rma request if depending on where you buy the travel that's always alone that's a pain in the ass the travel alone is enough for the company to be like nah that's yours now no fucking refunds i'm not sure what you're talking about i have i've never i've never gotten

anything where uh they're like they're like yeah we'll take that back no problem especially if you're talking about like uh anything that is really fragile anything that is uh possibly bricked in the box as you said you've made you've made exchanges no problem yeah i have okay fair enough i've gotten no luck on that in the past but so what i'm probably gonna do

myself actually is wait till the new risings are announced uh grab all the pieces attempt to put it together myself and failing that take it to somebody who knows what the fuck they're doing yeah but you buy all the parts at the same time that's that's how you look like this is the learning lesson i suppose this is the um this is the one that hurts and then you never make this mistake again boy that's this oh he's gonna be real

careful in the future uh but yeah i i i did you know i guess i just maybe i didn't say it strong enough but yeah there we definitely got a message that came in and went like like dude i like the heads up was there so anyway um but it now there is a trap here the trap is uh best summed up by it's never a good time to buy a video card right because unless you are the kind of if you're the type of person asking for advice about a video card

you are unlikely to be asking that question when the bleeding edge is coming out because really the only time to buy pc parts is in that nexus right after they all get announced so that the old parts are at a hard discount right and the new parts are at what the price they're going to be at for a year or two the once you once you jump into the game it's ongoing it's a it's a regular flow and you have to you know if you decide to keep up with it but what i would say is the circumstance where it would have made sense is the one where

he was going to get that and take it home and start streaming that night yeah then it's like sure you want to do this immediately so be it you know it is what it is you'll be fine but yeah that's that's what it was so in the meantime 3080s are announced and uh god bless you know i might actually even get i usually get the most fucked up big one i might even actually get a 3080 because it's possible that for mo like at 4k like it like there's only so fast these fucking things can go in terms of bandwidth

and it's quite possible the extra bandwidth on the bigger card is literally just for 8k which is pointless um i also would recommend anybody who wants to get pc stuff go check out pc part picker it's probably the number one website in how to get computing parts and obviously go check out linus tech tips ever i don't need to tell you people to check out linus if you want to learn how to build a computer um well yeah that shit drops next week so

do you think i fucking will and somebody in the in the chat said is pat tweeting at nvidia during the podcast yes i am they're having this thing where if you retweet their thing and then put a hashtag in it they might send you one and every single one i've said please give i also reached out to everyone i possibly could asking hey do you do you know anyone at nvidia because i'll suck a dick i'll swear to god and uh what i've gotten back is no man should um people be prepared for the

uh possibility of an imminent rpm test stream like when you spin the tires as fast as possible in the garage and on the car no you're not gonna just nope okay i guess that would technically be cyberpunk can we make smoke come from the tower you know hopefully not yeah um well anyway i don't intend to start streaming an 8k anytime soon we'll see how this goes i don't think

anything even supports that uh youtube i believe has uh it has the bit rate encoder for it for 4k that is up and and doing its thing eight i have no i don't think so i don't think anything is doing it and i don't and i think it's going to take a couple years yeah um anyway though when that time comes around uh i mean i'm my fucking my current little my thing is a small little box like i'm when that comes around when it when the

time to upgrade rolls out i'm gonna just have to commit to a whole new thing you know yeah i'm in a situation where i want to switch processors and i want to change out all my hard drives and motherboard so it's like i might as well just do a new build well it does something like okay if you're getting this if you're getting this fucking beast then you're getting a new power supply you're getting new fans you're getting you know what i mean like you might as well just salvage your hard drive thousand watts will do it by the

way guys you don't need a 1300 watt power supply that's ridiculous salvage your hard drives and call it a day no man i want them new 4.0 hard drives seeing that shit it's faster yeah yeah how much very faster good it's good shoutouts to computers that are that are fucking car money like that's a car sitting right there well yeah the 5k gets you a shitty used car 5k will get you a fucking

like spaceship computer 5k will get you a an okay used car shitty used car is but is beneath that like shit box you're getting your your like if you pay 5k you're getting better than a shit box you know anyway um so that's the that's the video card uh and then of course uh we've got i guess today in the uh bumbling ceo corner we've got oh yeah we've got two stories

two leading stories here some good shit in here the bumbling ceo corner uh the first will take us to the world of mr vincent k grubba mcman where i thought based on uh the way things were going with zavier woods aka austin creed very important to keep that aka in there that um this was worked out but it seems it was not i thought this had been settled by previous crazy disputes and lawsuits but it seems like vincent k mcman of wwe

ownership still believes that owning the superstar likenesses and personalities includes their legal names so okay so this is obviously moved on since the last update that i got wwe ceo vincent k mcman ordered all wwe stars to terminate all ongoing third party activities within 30 days or face the possibility of fines suspension or termination at the company's discretion while the letter references activities that are detrimental to the company in a non-specific wording

of what detrimental constitutes talent is can talent are confused and frustrated and basically this is making reference to wrestlers who are showing up on charity streams with their real names being told that they can't do that all wrestlers are designated independent contractors um it remains if they're independent contractors how do you mandate this uh by saying that your contracts stipulate this behavior but it doesn't that's why you had to put out a new memo

generally speaking independent contractors should not be told that they are restricted from doing other work uh they're generally able to do what they can and want to but you will have a like you'll you will have a a a uh control control over how much they disclose obviously about your own work with them but that's it um this this feels like vince is setting himself up to be soon there's a lot of people on that stable that are trying to do a lot of

different things yeah but here's the other thing of course i don't think vince and his lawyers are afraid of enforcing this kind of bullshit he's been at this for a very long time oh vince is like cartoon evil yeah uh so yeah basically during a conference call it was said that wwe owns the real names of talent not just their character names and according to what according to because i said so yeah see that's

that's what i mean like he's setting himself up for a lawsuit like come on uh continued violations will result in fine suspensions and termination at wwe's discretion um listen it's one thing of course as usual to take note that there is a opportunity uh that you did not take to notice that there is a place that people are going or a type of media people are uh you know putting themselves out on perhaps a

social media format that they're ahead of the curve on that you're too slow to to get on or you're not acting on or being too restrictive about but the complete lashback to say now fuck all that we own you literally your own name legally on your birth certificate is the wildest crazy nonsense shit ever and um that's probably a violation of your civil rights there he's attempting it he's attempting it so well when i first saw this i'm like oh shit

austin because that's the number one right that i think of i think up up down down friend of the podcast save your woods and i go oh crap if he is he gonna have to he should choose twitch he should choose twitch he should not choose wrestling if he if he if it's straight up came down to it like well get out of that carny shit well i mean you know and then sue he's he's he's he's a very smart guy and i i think uh it's very clear that um whatever happens in any direction

the whole point of uh not laying all your eggs in one basket is to have roads available to you so uh i think he's gonna be fine no matter what because i have confidence oh i i assume such but i'm just saying like if he was given the impossible choice it's actually way less impossible yeah i don't think it's gonna come down to that i don't think it'll come down to that but um oh but we're talking about fence man yeah i know but we're all fence loves to make things come down to that

maybe you can just maybe if everyone on the talent roster can go into his office and challenge him to an arm wrestling match for the rights to their names he'll accept it he'll accept the result you know maybe if you just go next to him and then you sneeze really loud he'll get so bad that he forgets about what he's trying to do and then he'll let it slide fence mcman is so evil

so evil oh my goodness who knows it's been evil for so long too like like i was a child when i learned that vince mcman was evil maybe in the attempt to chase after um all of these different lawsuits he'll blow out both quads and before to just sit there and stare like an idiot as he can't move to go any further who knows it could go a lot of ways it can go a lot of different ways we'll see paul help me up oh no paul blew out his quads

and just talk mad shit from a seated position yep yep that's one of the weirdest fucking moments ever in wrestling caused by vince just being such a stubborn asshole she's like vince your legs just exploded get out of the ring fucking leave go to a hospital i implore everybody to stay tuned as uh there will be updates to this story oh yeah oh yeah you know no one's gonna back down on this one

maybe he'll uh challenge his staff to a uh maybe he'll challenge mark henry to a lift uh competition to see if he gets his rights to his name back maybe he might piss on the bed you know i don't know it's quite possible all right um i'm gonna go get a soda you do that while i'm not very far it's actually just over here and uh i'll bring up the next story which hopefully this is a story about a nice ceo well unfortunately that's not what um the the bumbling ceo corner is about

oh no can't it just be happy bumbling well in this case uh we're revisiting our lab zero story from last week where oh geez what could have happened since then everybody was quitting well the latest is that anyone who didn't quit has been fired and um there was a uh art drive being done by uh kinu cakes who was trying to raise money to support those who were laid off because basically yeah anybody who didn't walk was forced to bonus for no severance no severance pay uh also too quick to have that even sorted out um literally you can't quit you're fired so whatever lab zero was whatever name was being preserved through the the power move of of taking

it all over doesn't really mean anything anymore and um not that it necessarily made sense before but now it just double doesn't make sense because it's it like there were i think 11 people um and then after the walkouts they were at eight and the rest of them were basically all just let go and uh you know it was it was a again it's a just a fucking rough move for a lot of people that you know work probably in a situation where you know how many people are familiar with not being able to leave somewhere because of financial obligations hey everybody you know everybody understands so um the comments on the story uh where are we let me pull this up yes kotaku did get um a response uh where mike's he said that they were laid off because

the studio can't afford to cover salaries anymore and that he's exploring all funding options uh to possibly reunite if possible if in the future uh huh um and in the meantime like i said uh you know like there's like straight up a charity art sales that are going towards you know helping the team out uh from other team members that walked out so there's a lot about this i don't understand so let me walk back a bit so i can explain what i mean people are quitting lab zero a bunch of people quit lab zero alongside people quitting comes

a lot of people complaining about mike's these behavior he's a jerk he's a sexist he harassed me nothing criminal you know nothing he'd get arrested over just like terrible boss and all around jackass right and then he's he's fighting for control of the company and he's you know etc right this led to a situation in which you had to see you had people who i would i would i would call a type of person a serial benefit of the doubter people who are just willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt forever no matter what and go well he never did anything to me and i didn't see it and none of this is criminal so maybe it's just to make us standing or these p you know right and if mike just quit and just flew away and just disappeared whatever

he could probably have lived in that doubt in that certain level of uncertainty right as long as he was classy in the future right but this is my ball you can't have it this is my ball i'm going home isn't enough so instead you burn the whole court down removing all potential doubt all potential benefit of that doubt just make absolutely sure that everybody knows that everything everybody said about you was true uh yeah the the the nuts thing is like in the situation where when we had the information we had last week where it was like there's some sort of weird attempt here to like i guess create a a banner or a banner that can still be rallied under with the name by because like if you if you decide i'm taking over control of this company and everything with

it and i'm and we're not going forward with contract negotiation stuff then that means clearly you're like well i want this name to be protected and i still want to do something with this there is there is there is a decision was made that like there will be a future for this company and that's what was informing the the the crazy hostile like you know situation there so yeah and there's there's the romanticization that you can give it of like well it's his company and he built it and you the it's his you know all that right right the the idea of you know getting pushed out based on what's going on and then sure you can go down that road if you want to i don't particularly do because but not but you can't anymore but he made what happens you look silly

what happens when this goes down is i would think under all circumstances the only thing you can afford to do is make sure you take care of whoever's left like to talk about that as priority bullet number one like above one s triple s like quadruple like the most important thing ever in the middle of that storm would be to take care of whoever's left it really leaves me i i can't understand the how and why i can i can explain it mike z was looking at the people who remained in his studio and he looked around the empty seats and he went i am sick of this world everybody betray me and then he fired the rest of them the statement is the company couldn't afford it's it's crippling deaths that's the statement

well yeah because people quit because you're a jerk i mean um it it blows my mind it yeah like just last week and the week before and every week that we've had a mike z story up until this week there'd be a couple people in the chat or you know and tweets afterwards like that's not that bad you're exaggerating a little bit i'm sure things are out of context yada yada and you can you can work with that right at what point my question of reputation that you can live your life my question was my next question was at what point do we just hit sunk cost fallacy if we're not already there i don't i don't even know you know but it's like clearly we've flew past that line three stories ago

maybe four depends on who you are but you know and and and yeah anyway um so so you know uh just super fucking um chill on behalf of uh kinu who was like yo let's let's let's help this team out and you know understanding of course the people who did not walk because they probably could not are those who were in most need of continuing employment and uh yeah like that's a fucking team of talented people man you know uh i really imagine the kind of good ass work they could do when they don't have to work under such a screwed up situation incredible incredible i have to say though i just had a thought the last the last game released by lab zero was indivisible like not not really

yeah is they're divided now you see yeah the studio broke totally it's it's divided they they got fired never got shoveled night yeah uh you know that's a why is there going to be a part four and a part five and a part six to this story in the following weeks to come you know oh there's gonna be why oh like just just let it go away just let it stop no make it big because now is the part where all the people who were not saying anything because they didn't

want to lose their jobs just got fired by that person so why not i suppose so right though although i feel like that would have happened within this week but there might be a lawsuit coming there might be but they're definite i've said that on both of these stories but i feel like but um the people who didn't uh leave the leave were also not mentioned you know like out of their own privacy right so like that's a decision that was made to know what i really like lab zero i hope that those those people i ideally they'd form a new team that is most of the old gang and do quite well for themselves uh i wish them all the best of luck

and i am now changing my head canon about indivisible in that it is all mike z's fault that that game sucks if only mike z didn't ruin indivisible that game could have been great i still disagree i still don't think indivisible sucks and uh that's where we'll leave it actually though in serious considering mike z was the one being an asshole about the move list stuff on twitter do you remember that i remember when you brought it up yeah like there there are actually probably things that i really dislike about that game that can be directly attributed the move list one being like one of them did you like the bass didn't see it no well

boy uh bumbling ceo corner i mean we've got a third story that might technically go in but it's not about a cgo specific go for it well woolly did you know that if apple doesn't put fortnight back on the store that could mean it is literally a death sentence for the epic games company you are correct this is a bumbling ceo corner story in a tweet tim sweeney said apple's decision to ban epic is a potential death sentence for the multi-billion dollar company as well as others what did they lose when they got delisted

so ios represents 116 million fortnight players holy fucking shit i believe believe that is like i'm not super sure but i saw a number floating around that that is your god of total fortnight players right epic is rather tim is going to twitter talk about this and there's interviews and court cases because uh epic has failed in their second injunction of their lawsuit uh asking the judge force apple to put them back up on the store while the lawsuit continues as far as my reading of it goes being not a lawyer and just skimming this shit is that the judge in particular has basically said on two occasions no you knew what you knew what you were doing you knew what would happen how many million again plan for this what's how many million again

117 million and the judge is like you totally knew you were gonna get delisted this is not a surprise that's more people than you will not i will not force apple to put you back on the store that's that is more than like three canadas so it feels really clear the epics plan was pull the stunt use public opinion good news everybody good news we've printed the shirts they're ready to go we have our shirts these are we are the dragon stickpokers we we printed the dragon stick poker shirts and now we're on our way we have a documentary crew filming the journey to the dragon's cave and the choice of what kind of stick we will use to poke and then the lawyers tell them

ah hey man they'll uh they'll fucking uh yeah we'll talk to the judge we'll get an injunction they'll put you back on the store the prophets will come back in a couple weeks people will miss the fortnight it'll be all it'll be great this is now turned into uh oh this lawsuit's gonna take years for sure and they've lost two back to back which means that thing's probably not going back up on the epic store sorry on the ios store we've ever again like ever again uh oh we've we've had us couple seasons of reality tv where the stickpokers got to hang out with each other and put the idea out there we've we've campaigned we've let everybody know uh people are watching live on tv all around the world as we approach the dragon's cave with our sticks let's see what

happens let's let's switch over it to the to the body cam let's see how this goes this is the most obvious like shoot your own dick off out of greed moment i've ever seen in my life it's it's not even the the result of um it's not what happened but it's the fact that you made a fucking movie and celebrated what you were about to do and then did it and then when the judge went and said you did this on purpose and you are not being flanked from left field but you're very well aware of this and are acting as if you knew this was going to happen why would i treat this as if you're being fucked out of left field you made a big gesture of how you're marching to go do this

and you sounded the drums of war why on earth would i think think that you are under attack when you fucking called out your preemptive and sent everybody the memo i would love to be a fly on the wall in the legal office of epics lawyers because i can imagine that there is like the most intense screaming match between stim c isweeney and their head lawyer of like you told me that the injunction would go through no problem followed by the lawyer screaming back yeah motherfucker and then you made t-shirts and a goddamn ad and you paraded around how you planned it all you dumb motherfucker i told you not to do that have you ever seen a company lean into a legal battle with like never kayfabe never no never i like i i it's kind of nuts that

something very serious is occurring but the response or the the the preemptive response was to fully embrace it in a public manner and show it off certain of the outcome even the way judge is going to sit and look at this later it's it's so weird like and then apple put out like we talked about it briefly last week but apple put out these emails that showed like tim sweeney's just like a lying complete piece of shit where he's like begging apple for special treatment i yeah you don't you're like if this just happened in the background and they were fighting each other as they were let them fight etc and there was no spectacle and showboating involved that judge might have looked at the situation differently and looked at it as assuredly

would have a situation that suddenly happened to epic and holy shit they got t-boned what the fuck this is a crazy surprise uh this unironically might be the end of fortnite's like total dominance because it's cutting out such a gigantic part of their market it's essentially for a couple years over hubris over we want another 30 from 30 so essentially all of this was maybe we can make 10 more money i mean oops now we're making 30 less money of all of all the dropped crowns in the video game industry in the history of its modern incarnation there has never been one like this you know it's funny a long long time ago like in an interview i described the gaming industry as a very weird and industry because nobody ever succeeds everybody only manages and then their

competitors fail like look at pub g in fortnite fortnite didn't succeed they just came along and did okay while pub g was a trash fire look at fall guys right now and how it's not embroiled in a multi-year billion dollar lawsuit uh every other every other crown every other king genre died of old age or on the battlefield and it might be possible that we're looking at the first hold my chalice moment jester hold my chalice as i do this wicked sick stunt and fucking impale themself in the in the the throne room in front of everybody you know this is the opposite of alien versus predator this is whoever loses we win from the jump this is what we said we're like oh man the kaiju's are battling let's see the way it goes

because like it's like apple is probably wrong about their store monopoly but epics just so laughably evil and incompetent that i'm fine with them losing too uh fuck it yeah apple also didn't start printing t-shirts out about removing fortnite from the their their store you know they didn't fucking yeah they didn't they didn't have and the not to be forgotten a bunch of people like a ton of people almost had their shit wrecked because the one injunction that the judge did put forth is that apple couldn't pull off every single game off their store that used the unreal engine which could have basically ruined the entire phone market forever as well as the livelihoods of everybody who works in it uh what's that uh hui you'd like to play uh the next exhibit

of a song that epic recorded prior to this case let's hear it played for the jury played for the plate for the plate for the jury just absolute boondocks moment of of playing a song in court called play it for the jury i don't give a fuck yeah yeah that's an r kelly right there that's uh uh well anyway anyway um that's that's a bumble just the worst that's a bumble uh beyond that unbelievable speaking of unbelievable if i were to tell you that you would have to believe in the existence of a shen mu animation

with crunchy roll in partnership with adult swim would you believe it because not only will there be a shen mu four but there will be shen mu the animation coming to uh uh crunchy roll and adult swim who cares like this isn't like the i want to be really clear this isn't like don't bring the story up i don't care about the story this is kind of interesting i'm like i never liked shen mu one or two i think those games are trash but a lot of people love them and then shen mu three came out and everyone actually started to agree that those so this is the point of the story the point of the story and why it's coming up is because

shen mu three was so bad that it scared everyone that was left away from the franchise if you didn't walk after one and you didn't walk after two the only people left that were waiting on three fucking walked on it and after three came out and was such a colossal piece of fucking fecal matter they have now announced they're making more of them in the same level of hubris that makes you suzuki announce a shen mu online game and a fucking shen mu part 16 plan where this fucking franchise and the people in charge of it don't understand what what they don't get what it is they don't understand what it is i don't i genuinely don't understand because like i always had the feeling that maybe i missed something maybe i didn't play it at the time you

know you know there's those games that come out and people like oh man that game was great and you're like it wasn't great you just played it when you were hold on hold on hold on hold on our are we talking to so many new people that you're hearing about shen mu 16 for the first time because it sounds like a lot of people were not around the last time this came up or when shen mu three was getting announced or before shen mu three was announced when the kickstarter was around or before that when they walked out on stage to talk about it or back when it was just dead in the water but if you don't know here's what's up hi welcome to the party shen mu one came out it was the first part of the story uh fucking nothing happened then you play shen mu two

and it seems like things are going to start happening and then nothing fucking happens and around the third or fourth disc of shen mu two i was out because quite frankly after two chase downs of the big villain that lead to nothing i'm like yeah okay i'm good i don't care anymore about where this goes and what this does and then uh it ends on a fucking cliffhanger and then everyone's like well what's gonna happen well at some point years later shen mu online came out an mmo trailer and i believe the first thing that you said upon seeing that trailer is this game doesn't exist and it was like well there it is exactly what i said now i'm struggling to remember the shen mu trailer and now i see it i'm like this isn't real it was a bunch of ghosts

floating around as uh the girl and and uh ryo uh hasuki were standing around doing their big kung fu poses and then it fucking disappeared because yeah you were correct that game doesn't exist and then they came out and they announced shen mu three and they said if you want shen mu three um even though i'm standing here on a sony stage at a sony event please support the kick starter and then you're like wait but you're standing on a sony stage at a sony event why aren't you just announcing the game and they're like well because no one has enough faith in this to actually want to make it so we need to prove that you're interested by kick starting it okay a lot of people cared about shen mu wanted it to happen reached a lot of people

big excitement everybody goes and puts their money into shen mu three well as with a lot of kick starters at the time you were not actually investing in the development of the game as much as you were investing in a fake pool of money to just say hey i am interested in this purchase and it was more of a proof of interest as opposed to the money going towards the the cost the total cost of the game so when the thing comes out and it's like three million dollars or whatever the case it was and people are like if that's what you say it's going to cost then sure and then it turns out no that was a super lie that number wasn't real it was actually just the scratching of the it was the tip of the iceberg on it uh but thanks for the cash though convince the publisher on this

money uh great so you lied to everybody holy shit okay fine no problem uh huh good money goes through game game gets gets fucking done uh after some uh bullshit but it drops and it comes out and it is absolute trash it is a complete nonsense waste of your time somehow even more than the worst parts of one and two and you spend the whole time in this one fucking area doing this one thing with this one guy and the whole thing ends up being a complete side story that never addresses the main plot whatsoever and then upon completion of it fucking landee is still around that he's still out there and uh they're like the truth will be unveiled in shenmu fucking four but as it turns out uh some point between two and three we find out that yeah um yusuzuki said

shenmu is a 16 part franchise and that that was in a that was in an interview before the first one came out this game was intended to have 16 chapters to it now that does not necessarily mean it is one chapter per game sometimes it might be two but the story would not end until part excuse me chapter fucking 16 we make fun of lord of the rings for coming back with uh uh the shit fucking holo hobbit trilogy and stretching out the smallest book into the longest possible trilogy of things out of greed we make fun of um advent rising for coming out and saying this trilogy is going to change video games forever and uh uh even though we've just put our foot in the door man part two and part three are going to be incredible we make fun of every

single time someone comes out and has the fucking hubris to think that people will care enough about the product they put out to actually have it come back around for a sequel copernicus was supposed to be the greatest mmo ever after kingdoms of amalur the reckoning it's a hilarious feat to point at the stands like babe ruth and call at your home run and then completely whiff fall on your ass and eat shit uh and and and hey do you mind if i spray diarrhea out list off to you well 16 chapters is bar none the single most egregious it's ever been and i can't believe that people heard that and kind of went yeah you know what let's see where that goes in conclusion play yakuza thanks for coming to my ted talk i'm gonna i have two things to say one i'm

gonna count some things and two i have something to talk about shenmu all right so shenmu two came out in one 2002 yeah sure all right well you know what came out in 2004 yakuza one one all right so yakuza one zero two three four five six seven we're already up to eight all right spin offs ken zen black panther dead souls uh what the fuck is that is that black panther two it's black panther two uh ishin judgment i think it's at like 14 or 15 in the period oh judgment of course i believe they might have actually hit depending on if you count the remakes of kawami one and two yakuza has actually hit 16 games and that is all within that span

and those games are great they're really good do you know they have a high quality do you know what shenmu fans hate even more than shenmu three um being told to play yakuza instead because it's a replacement franchise you know they're i used to work with somebody who every time they brought up shenmu i'd say to them i don't know why you're talking about shenmu yakuza replace that shit because shenmu's fucking garbage and they'd always go and then i would go home and play yakuza and it would be great uh here's what i don't get about shenmu there are games that you played as a youth and i played as a youth that when you go back to or shows shows is really common

you're like oh crap this was garbage shit it was only because i was a child that i thought this was cool right but shenzu doesn't shenmu doesn't really apply like that because most of the people that i know that played shenmu and thought it was cool were young adults or maybe teenagers i played shenmu and thought it was cool hi i'm one of those people i play i went to a friend's place and played through a bunch of shenmu one and was like this game seems terrible and then i saw people playing shenmu two and went man this shit seems awful and i was told for years and years no i just don't get it shenmu's actually a fantastic franchise yakuza isn't a replacement it's totally different only for shenmu three to come out

and sure enough it's fucking terrible for all the same reasons the first two were and i feel like everyone just oh wait they were garbage all along i was a fool shenmu was fun for the same reasons that um uh uh real calendar day-to-day calendar persona and animal crossing can be fun and uh but it's not no that's it's way earlier than those things but for me it was one of my first times ever experiencing a world with that with uh all that shit you can go do and there was a promise of combat that i was really invested in by learning these moves and practicing them and training and and hoping for more than just a hundred man battle and you know there was also of course uh a story that you were kind of following along

and hoping would go somewhere and it isn't really until uh that high and dry fucking blue balls ending that you kind of go all right let's see if they fix their mistakes in two maybe this was rough and they can tighten up on a lot of things they did by making you able to play games as your job but the all the overall like filling and stretching of events slowly rots away how much you care about what's happening but i it does i improve over the first game but things went nowhere by feeling it felt like filler on while you're trying to get your father's killer and it it it kept getting stretched out further and further like the simpson's couch gag where the couch keeps going backwards the finish

line kept falling away further and further to the point that i hit care exhaustion and did not care to finish the last chapter of that game where you leave uh and go to the the next part of china or whatever um it absolutely could have been uh uh uh it could have been a great franchise if a the game decided to not give you one sprinkling of a moment to use the combat you've been training the whole game for and and b not stretch the sore story into 16 parts but there was something there that i liked and cared about for many many years so i'm obviously not like arguing with you on this next bit because you just made your point quite clearly but one of the things that has always driven me crazy is that you described you even you described like the story like there was a

pole there that just got weighed down by all the wasted time and the garbage right i don't get that i genuinely don't understand the story in shenmu is fucking terrible that shit sounds like a resident evil game in terms of voice acting and the story and the writing isn't any better this shit came out alongside 99 in 2001 fucking 2001 had goddamn ff10 man and metal gear too yakuza one came out a couple years later and people make fun of the english dub in that game but the direction is like fucking your fucking metal gear fan movie to a real film in terms of jump my fad movie was all right i don't get it um no but you know what i know what you mean i know what you mean you look at the yakuza one cut scenes even in english is like fucking night and day

and it's it's they are contemporaries they came out on the same generation of consoles just a couple here's a part uh like i am so baffled it's it's just a fucking kung fu he killed my father's story it's so deep oh it's the characters the characters all sound like fucking shit part of the laurels it rested on were the technical achievements at the time of its look part of it was absolutely just going look how big and pretty this game is and uh that's not at all something that should be forgotten shenmu was definitely leaning in on um but it's gorgeous though shenmu won in 99 looked nuts i will agree with that that was a huge that was a part of it that was crazy that was like oh my god it's real life and that was reason to go in hoping that the rest was there

you know it was um it was the game that had things where you're like man it'd be nice if those ff7 cut scenes weren't just cut scenes oh man whoa what a big lie that well yeah the trailer especially fucking just bullshit marketing entirely but hey that's what all uh game marketing is now isn't it just render out of render out a cg short and put a title at the end of it um yeah it was it was it was the technical marvel that initially pulls people in and the pedigree of uh you know use a zuki everything a zuki doesn't need more pedigree he needs to go back to make making fucking virtual that am2 logo means mean something and uh you you generally at the time

wanted uh everything to do with it the yakuza series is a grander celebration of use a zuki's legacy than his own games because more of his own games are in them excuse me excuse me hey no hey sir sir no yeah um you know that signature that you see the ys that pops up whenever you boot up those games at the time you're like fuck yeah everything i love about sega you know was was firing on all cylinders but the the the the hope was as go as we went through them at least as least as far as i was concerned the hope was as i went through them that it would fucking it would pick up you know it would go somewhere and like i said i i petered out before i hit the credits on too so um those games are terrible and they have always been terrible

and everyone who has ever liked them is stupid and fate conspired against you to make you look stupid for liking them you know how the first game in a franchise will show something interesting but often it'll be fucking rough and unrefined and then oh man maybe they'll polish this up in the sequel it'll be something really special and sometimes they do yeah like the combat in zone of the enders dante's awakening uh you know we know a couple of games like that uh if this game underwent that process which it did to a degree there's a lot of stuff that is better in two but if it under but like the i i think that like if it wasn't so fucking obsessed with dragging its ass uh it could have it would

yakuza wouldn't have needed to come along and replace it you know because and and and here's the other thing too no that's that's not true at all um just on a pure level uh as far as i can tell with with yakuza it's not it's not just uh the the open world and the activities you can do and all that stuff but you know quite straight up like what seems to be the excitement of the characters and what they do and the the actual events unfolding um like that existing yeah creates an even uh further fucking pit for shenmu to fall into you know um sleeping dogs say don't forget about sleeping dogs that's true uh tons of credit to that game but yeah i think i think the unfortunate it's a slow death is what i'm trying to say it was a it's a slow death for those who cared about

shenmu i think the saddest thing for the yakuza thing that we keep talking about is it's like they're so directly applicable that they're made by the same company right like and they stopped making one and started making the other like there's almost no way to view it other than a direct replacement that's good well anyway um instead of that anytime any any franchise brand ip whatever the fuck you want to call it starts talking about the long game with absolute confidence usually producers mind you usually producers are the types because they're looking at the numbers on it and uh they can't wait to see things blow up but anyone that starts talking about the long game anyone that starts talking about their

cinematic universe anyone that starts talking about their 10-year plan anyone that reaches into the far fucking future to talk about their successes is full of shit and needs to be ignored aggressively the only thing you should ever pay attention to is the thing in front of you and you take it one step at a time fuck that fuck the length fuck the 16 year sequels 16 part sequels fuck anything about the far distance of where we're gonna go with this thing if it works out because you know what you're doing and you have someone competent on your side a good writer a good team a good fucking consistent talent base will make things work out and they'll lead you to a path that is incredible when you look back on it but if you keep looking fucking far

into the distance at the future dollar signs and the future piles of cash that you ignore the garbage you're shitting out in front of everybody for the promise of what could be you deserve all the fucking failures you deserve everything that you get you deserve the lost investments on you know setting up hooks for things that will never be planning out shit that is never gonna happen you're too fucking pie in the sky with it and you saw an example of it working and you think that you can step in and do it everyone wants an mcu everyone wants a harry potter series everyone wants i mean before the fucking mcu it was all about the everybody wants a game of throw everyone wants to go yeah before before the

the everyone wanting an mcu everyone wanted a harry potter and before everyone wanted a harry potter everyone wanted a twilight and before everyone wanted a twilight everyone wanted a matrix trilogy you know somebody just pointed out something imagine georgia r martin in 1996 saying he had a 25 year plan for game of thrones the people who talk that way are not to be trusted they don't understand what they're doing they're oftentimes strictly business-ended people that don't get creative whatsoever and don't know what it takes these are the people that will fire and or get rid of the talent that made the thing good

and then bring in someone else and hope for the best and go it's okay it's got the the number after it it'll be fine i i think they should bring in david lynch to direct all the next mcu movies and we can get the lynchy verse the dead speak yeah oh man that means ios players can't see the real ending of star wars by the way you know who's cool john boyega yeah john boyega just being like man star wars fucking sucks it's so cool john boyega rules

you know just like can i can i talk now can i talk all right right so anyway about that shit oh boy anyway um yeah yeah shenmu the anime coming soon um last couple quick ones here mini stories but some curious stuff i i really really like um the trend of teaching kids programming i think that shit's awesome i think that's really cool i like the fact that there are real programs and curriculums that are actually starting to think about this and getting it in early i would have killed for a programming class oh yeah me too i would have fucking killed for that

um and uh there's this is starting to become more of a real thing uh one of these things that uh is involved in addition to like like uh programming toys and and and whatnot and and and games um a toy company our tech announced they're working with capcom to make a game called make rockman a programming teaching tool that can be used to educate uh japanese kids into how to make their own megabuster shaped game controllers and how to program megaman to run around in a megaman 2 style environment and shoot the enemies and program his ai um you'll basically get to create stages and and behavior for the bosses and things like that uh and they're teaching kids how to program that shit's fucking sick man i i i it's one of those things where you're like

dear fucking god i it just it would have been so awesome to have access to that you know um but these things have to you know they take time it takes time for word to reach uh you know someone's got to start the idea out someone's got to pitch it someone's got to take the first steps to to change things up a little bit you okay sorry i just got blasted with dog wind oh yeah there you go it's oh man um now it's funny because uh jamais 203 right it's come up twice today but i'm gonna bring up that metal gear fan film one third time because it's relevant to this conversation in this way uh because that fan film turned out to actually be uh pretty impressive for a bunch of dumb high school kids that didn't know what they were doing they then created a film class curriculum

in the school board using what we did as the basis and the year we left uh they brought in the computers to then start a film class as an elective that people could take so when you upload net yeah well hey don't worry about that don't worry about that i don't i don't even have access to it personally uh i think uh i think the other people involved do i think there's a trailer around somewhere but you know you can watch the trailer but yes yes um similar in that way like i like i was jealous but i was like oh that's awesome i'm i'm jealous that i'm as i'm on my way out of high school um this thing that we did was helping to convince you know uh uh the school to take to and the higher ups beyond to the school board to include a film as a curriculum you know as a part

of it and whatnot and the earlier you get started on that shit the better so um programming classes the the filming classes and um i know that there's people that are looking into uh e-sports teams as well as a an aspect where you can like wait can i learn how to do you can you can some schools are getting into extracurriculars in the form of e-sports not mainstream curriculum but extracurricular if you want to do that by the way i should warn you will it it's exactly five p.m okay so apologies for any noise on this side no worries so um we are uh you know look at that there's also streets of rage for balance patch which came out and i didn't expect this but uh they put out some patch notes on streets of rage four and what they've changed i saw they got a patch i didn't even

expect patch humongous list of improvements um infinites removed oh no yeah but uh keep the infinites yeah adam's lost it uh but you know uh there's other stuff axl got better he has better walk speed oh fucking better recovery um oh wow look at these oh holy shit there's a lot in here holy fuck yeah yeah yeah they and they're character by character so there's axl cherry floyd blaze adam and then the retro versions as well uh all have adjustments it's it's quite an extensive and detailed patch note list which is this is not a fucking competitive game but shout outs to uh dot enemy on on this because uh that's fucking what every game should have please give patch notes improved system stability thanks

and yet lizard cube thank you um yeah what's going on sakurai an adjustment has been made oh nice nice various aspects of characters have been adjusted yes excellent good yeah i believe uh it never went anywhere but i believe once upon a time there was a joke uh that was made for the patches the patch note awards the you know yeah i think i there was a joke about the patches and and and who gets it well uh the patchy this week absolutely goes to streets of rage for for not being afraid to tell people what changes are in the game and allowing them to embrace that embrace the technical side of the mechanical changes don't pretend that every that people aren't looking at games and breaking them down

uh mechanically you know um yep so there's that and just a little heads up i'm downloading a patch for a game right now there you go no patch notes yeah are you serious are you actually for real it's it no no patch notes it's a weird feeling of of of just uh we don't want you to a criticize us too hard in a way that can be challenged because the more in the dark you are the more you know we can operate without you knowing what's going on we don't want to give our reasons in case you disagree with them um and of course there's the whole like oh the mystery of discovering the game da da da da da but it's like we've we've moved past that man we've moved past that we know what it is just you know live in the

modern world you play these games hopefully you understand what we're looking for um and yeah i know just uh just just a heads up but uh there's a new uh pretty cool looking uh common writer game memory of heroes which is uh looking like it's picking up a character action style uh combat system and they're showing like the the the marketing material uh right off the jump shows uh o's and double so i'm like hey you fucking hey man you're showing me what i like god or but uh there's common writer won't you believe in him yeah he's right there yeah yeah so uh they're showing they're showing the the the good stuff and then zero one is in there as well doing some rad shit that i have yet to watch but it looks very cool and um i like the fact that they're going into a

air combo you know kind of uh beat him up sort of system i feel like it makes perfect sense for common it does it does it's a good fit um the guy literally jumps in the air like for 40 percent of his you can't do a rider kick without getting some good air time unless you're cabito of course and then he gets but that's a heavy roundhouse but yeah uh common writer memory of heroes and heroes is with a z by the way so you know that's happening that's stupid don't worry about it don't ask why three don't ask why oh oh oh is pronounced o's or why five five five is pronounced fies don't ask that's fucking stupid i hate that

fours fies o's heroes get it heroes o's that's stupid that's fucking stupid don't care for that um let's take some letters hey let's take some letters if you want to send in a letter first of all it's got to be an email second of all you got to send it to castle super beast mail at gmail.com all right got one coming in from york says uh dear fortress super scones i used to live with my mother who was born in rural asia and i noticed that she would placed hand mirrors facing out from every window in our house when i asked her why she did this she explained that the ghosts and bad spirits easily phase through glass windows to squat in your house and suck up your

luck but by using a mirror it would create an invisible barrier evil spirits can't pass through what makes this funny is her insistence on using the phrase it deflects the ghosts and because of that i always imagine my mom erecting an at field around the house and dubbing it anti-ghost tech so my question is are there any superstitious things your parents do that are actually kind of rad especially if you uh look at it from another context my mother is absolutely convinced that if a bird manages to get into your house from outside it means a family member will die she is 100 convinced of this and my dad and me were like mom that's fucking stupid and then a bird got into the house and then a couple weeks later our great uncle edward died now granted

he was in his late 90s and it was a couple weeks later bird not that day but it was the bird it was the bird not that it not that day they did it waited a couple weeks it's the bird bird getting your house dead relative done and done now here's where it gets fucking real nuts at the time we had a pet bird but that doesn't count it has to be a bird from outside that gets in your house oh the the pet the home bird is already okay yeah gotcha consistent like what the it's fucking stupid grenade has its own specific monsters roster of demons that are specific to granada that's cool man uh when i was growing up i heard about anancy the uh the spider woman i oh i know her she's in that thing with the tv show i heard about uh dia bless the the

the devil lady i heard about the ligaroo and the ligaroo could never be trusted because that was uh a beast man that was coming to fuck you up but he could look like you say ligaroo ligaroo is that like a like a weird variation of a lu garu yes it's a werewolf variation exactly is that the is that the werewolf with ligma like what it's not quite ligma but it is absolutely one of those things where the the Haitian the creole the french influence gets turned into a couple of it goes through patois so we get ligaroo from lu garu you know it's pretty funny to come from uh uh it's pretty funny to come from at granada and then land somewhere where french exists so that i can draw these connections um rest assured of course that

the ligaroo's balls were massive and very prime for the licking of course so yes ligma intact clearly what uh never got away from me however is the i don't even know if there was a name for it but it was this fucking monster baby that would land on your back when walking through the forest and you would basically just feel a weight latch onto your neck and then a baby with claws will grab onto you and are you describing i'm describing cheap trick all right and all it does is say put me back where you find me now i remember put me back where you find me and uh you cannot escape it until of course you do what it says but um the further away you get from where it landed on you i believe

the more likely you are to get brutally murdered by it until it finds its next victim this might be one of the lamest regional monsters i have ever heard but you couldn't get it off though no matter what and no one could help you that's just stupid it landed on your back anyway so stupid i don't think either of those is gonna top deflecting the ghosts with no no it's not but you know that's cool we did we did like i said we did hear about the ligaroo so um that literally does sound like you've created like the ligma wolf yeah i know i know

well it's it's the same it's the same reasoning behind jab jab right jab jab was the is the it's a you know when you have the festival where people oil up themselves in black black like oil and then they fuck up your clothes and like they chase after you and they have the devil horns and they're basically like little demons you know everyone like and and and stuff but like the the word is jab jab which comes from diablo diablo which again carries over from french so so yeah anyway that's that's what grenade is up to stop being so fat zangief he kicked a piece of kibble one inch outside of his reach and that is apparently a nightmare that he will die from uh laifus says dudes i saw an ad for a new canned water called liquid death

and its gimmick is to act edgy and not be girly water um why does this matter well they just came out with a website to name your babies the most metal names possible and if you send in a copy of your child's birth certificate with one of their names they will send you free cases of their product for 18 years there's a promotional video fucking cool um dumb baby to rock names are back hooray yeah the amount of effort gone into rebranding regular products so that dudes can use them and not feel quite as gay is absurd it's pretty nuts it's absurd it's pretty nuts

it's also kind of nuts how um uh conversely products for women will be the exact same shit except the color will be pink and it will have a different uh uh flower on the cover and then they'll charge you an extra two three bucks for it but this is this is this has been the way it's fucking been pushed since the days of mad men you know you had your donald draper sitting in the boardrooms big figuring out exactly what you're talking about so uh shit is wild hey fellas want to drink water and not die but friend your bros will make you think you look like a girl try dick water it's water for your dick but you totally don't suck dick though it's just no dude could never have anybody think that's

what it is no like the the one of my like one of the things that I laugh at the most consistently is the ongoing meme of fellas is it gay too and then super normal thing hetero two oh get hydrated the hetero way hetero way times two actually uh what for every model for every molecule of oxygen there's two molecules of uh all right well anyway hydrogen no heterogen yeah wait are there two there's two hydrogens dihydrogen monoxide okay there's two hetero particles that's how not gay water is nailed it i did it i did it damn

but what about the water's memory what if the water memory is gay oh no what if the water has penis the water oh no then you can't escape it oh well don't well if you dilute it right hold on that'll increase the power that water has gay memory you can't save it it's too late but we already i'm sure there's a math thing that you could you could do that it's like did you know that at one point in your life every single molecule that makes up your lips was part of a penis but that gay memory water has already been blessed for the holy water for the baptism oh no and the prom's tomorrow what do we do

the holy ghost can't be in that water uh well boil your water folks boil it if you yes yes what's that i can't hear you what's that what were you saying i wasn't saying no if you if you what if you what now huh

no what were you talking about fellas this is a gay to boil your water if it is then you're trapped because then there's no way to get rid of it i'm only boiling it to get rid of the gay memory water but the act of boiling it itself is gay no because it's getting hot so you are boiling away one but you are now creating the other oh no but woolly you evaporate the water and then the gay memory fumes come off the pot into your nose and that's why you need dick water

uh um calling uh hey what's up uh says yo boys this past week uh you passively mentioned callin hanks as an example of a good good son who took on his father's profession and made his way or at least that's how i interpreted the comment anyways uh of course uh you should know that calling hanks is an incredible actor but i argue that you're focusing on the wrong hank everyone forgets about chat hank i'll let this article tell you everything you need to know somebody has not been watching mario the thousand-year door paper mario because in that i'm familiar with chat hank in paper mario the thousand-year door uh we go on a diatribe and break down the accomplishments of not chat hank

motherfucker that's chat haze don't you dare get it twisted don't you dare get it wrong chat haze the most gangster hank the one who's a who's a rapper who insists on speaking with a horrible jamaican accent and who uses like uh and who uses bumba clot in a leisurely manner um my second favorite well what does that word mean bumba clot yeah as in what it actually means or what it i see literally means or i constantly scroll past a quote retweet and then somebody says it and i'm like i don't know what that means okay connotatively it means like it's just an expression of like like i like oh my god you know okay that's all it is right okay like but you can use it in different ways to say like what the bumba clot is wrong with you like you can say like

you know it can you it can replace what so it's kind of like like oh fuck right yeah what it literally is is it's an ass washcloth okay right or like or more specifically a pussy cloth right all right that was that you used to wipe and clean right excellent so that's literally what it is um it has nothing to but if a blood clot is of course actually a blood clot that's not the same thing but uh yeah now uh when it comes to uh uh people not from jamaica using it uh chet haze is absolutely way up on that list he is number two on the list of number one greatest jamaic greatest non-jamaicans to use bumba clot i'm sorry did you have a question who's the who's the number one

do you remember a certain politician from a certain place or province by the name of rob ford oh yeah crack smoking rob ford rob ford baby crack smoking drunken possibly other doses of other drugs sniffing in toronto's very own son not drake rob ford was in a fucking mcdonald's and talking to some black people at which point he decided that he would in his drunken slurs code switch into patois and we were blessed on that day with a video recording of about two to three minutes of the fucking uh uh mayor of toronto speaking horrible fake jefakin patois and he uses the word bumba clot liberally as does he kiss his teeth and go

so you get him and chet haze doing this horrible like stupid fucking fake jefakin accent and it's the greatest is just yeah i know i just said for i said for the man i told the man you see uh bumba clot i uh and he's and it's the greatest of all time and it'll never be topped because you know rest in peace there will never be another rob ford not even his brother dug i thought i was losing my fucking mind by the way when i saw that dug was the fucking premier of ontario fuck yeah dug came in i literally thought i had fallen into like a fucking barenstein bears alternate universe nah man because i was like didn't he die of smoking

crack nah and then my friend was like no that's his brother yo rob went hard and everybody was like yo you remember how hard rob went they're like yeah it's like you want the sequel and everyone's yeah let's do it then he was a huge piece of shit and he was a horrible horrible fucking person but regardless i'm shocked crack smoke in rob ford getting doinked by the camera getting drunk only ontarians late night drunk have a man fucking smoke crack in office and then die and then go you know what let's go for another one round two you know it's like hanging out and fucking maybe we'll get the good brother this time done this square or blurring young whatever mcdonald's it was downtown toronto just code switching to

fucking patois late night while everyone's getting their mcdoubles uh it's it's amazing but not to take away from the great chat haze who i am well aware of and i've seen many videos of him not only embarrassing the poor hanks family by speaking uh his shitty jefakin accent on the red carpet uh at uh at the oscars but uh also having more than one video in which uh i like it's the best one the first video you see is the not apology but justification for why i can say the n word oh no and that's where it goes out you see because his rap career kind of relies on it so it is what it is you know oh man and don't get it twisted by the way right uh there are white jamaicans and there are chinese jamaicans and there are indian jamaicans and there are jamaicans

of all kinds of colors well i assume you grow up in that region you're gonna talk that's exactly what i mean so it ain't about that it's about the fact that you're from fucking america dude or toronto and this bull you've listened to one too many shan paul songs and thought that you were in it well listen if if iggy is alia can do it why can't these cars do it oh boy i remember like i remember hearing iggy on the radio and then finding out like two and a half years later she was from australia and like laughing myself who the fuck is it that was like from the from england there was a rapper that that got exposed for being british i forget who it was someone got exposed for being british uh a couple years ago

and it was the funniest shit ever because it was like wait what you like but what about 21 savage mortal combat trailer 21 savage baby that's hilarious oh man you want to talk about exposure like that's fucking great that's great of all the of all the of all the things to get unveiled you know how not american are you you're a fucking red coat can't believe it dude i just got bummer news the monetization on my bastion video got disabled because i played that hewie louis hip to fuck bees song on stream i know you were right um but it's hip to fuck bees you didn't mute it no i played it on my phone well because page didn't believe that it was hip to fuck bees well if you if you trim that segment out it'll it'll reactivate but it's a bit it's a whole bit

yeah i'm not cutting that out that's well then that's what it that's what it is oh man oh well hey how about that tony hawk damn you hewie louis what about the news um what a a a a a a a fucking fucking tony hawk is just one of the absolute just most ridiculous cases of this is so awesome this game is out there's nothing we can do did you see um god let me see if i can find it do you see the giga boots video he took no okay so there's a guy I follow on uh twitter who did a stream of the game and then uploaded here it is found it and then uploaded it to youtube and then took a video i'm going to send it to you took a video of him uh fucking scrolling through his email what yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so here's

the thing right for those who who don't know you can just stream it and whoever catches you live will it will you will enjoy the stream but the moment you stop it the vod is fucked and then the youtube video is fucked and the whole thing is fucked so the only way to enjoy that is to catch it immediately live and then the rest of it is worth nothing or you mute this godlike soundtrack and replace it with something else which is offensive to me i saw of uh i saw i think it was buttons put up a video of him practicing to get 10 million points and he had the music turned off and that game with the music turned off is like legitimately creepy it it's it's unsettling it just it feels fucking wrong it feels wrong um

but we'll see uh anyway chat haze we talk about chat haze at length in thousand year door so please enjoy all right all right podcast over so so so you