Castle Super Beast - CSB 150: Wholesome! 3rd Streich

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Encanto & Musicals Divorcee Tok Wholesome vs Unwholesome The "Known Shippable" list Historical Fanfiction You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://stitchfix.com/superbeast to get started today! -- Go to http://imperfectfoods.com and use promo code SUPERBEAST. New trailer for Kirby and the Forgotten Land, out on March 25, Game has co-op support as well SNK vs. Capcom: Card Fighters’ Clash now available for Switch 60-player multiplayer first-person shooter LEAP by BlueIsle  announced for PS5, PS4, and PC It’s time to pick up a purple PS5 controller (if you’re into it) A second game is reportedly in development at Quantic Dream.It's claimed the game is based on its 2013 tech demo The Dark Sorcerer, and has a more humorous tone. Deadline: Patrick Hughes to direct The Raid remake for Netflix, produced by Michael Bay "This version is set in Philadelphia’s drug-infested ‘Badlands’, an elite undercover DEA task force climb a ladder of cartel informants to catch an elusive kingpin." Troy Baker is pushing NFTs now Overwatch 2 Lego set "paused" as Lego reviews partnership with Activision Blizzard Activision fired dozens over harassment allegations: WSJ Sexual harassment. Very heavy at Ubisoft

Trick. Trick. Trick. Trick. Trick. Trick. Trick. Trick.

Trick. Trick. Trick. Trick. Okie-dokie. So, good afternoon, Willie. How are you today? Good.

Welcome to the Boost Pain podcast. Boost Pain. Boost Pain. So, what are we doing today? Oh man, this morning I went and got my booster in my arm. So I got my third shot. And I'll be honest, I'm dripping and I'm fucking... It's already hit me with the sleepy times.

Now to those of you watching the video version of this podcast, you'll may notice that I got the case of the smooth face and those of you home listening on the audio version might notice that my voice isn't being translated through beard hairs any longer. The long and short of that is that having a nice big beard means that I can't get a seal on any kind of mask, which means that if I have to go to a public place where I have to go inside and deal with people

instead of just, you know, outside walking the dog in the fucking blowing wind, it's gotta go so I can mask up. I'll tell you one thing, those N95s do not like dreads. They go over the top and dreadlocks are not compatible. I have to extend and modify the straps quite a bit. That's a bunch of bullshit. Yeah, I figured it out.

Here's what you have to look forward to. I got boosted on Friday and it was just the arm pain. And then Saturday, I was like, yeah, I'm fine. Let's stream. And we hit up that Ultimax and we did some games. And as I was playing, I was like, ooh, ooh, hey, I'm starting to feel some stuff, you know? Yeah.

And then I was like, let me, I can hang in there. It's fine. Then towards the end of the stream, it was like, OK, body aches, dizziness, lightheaded, you know? I'm like, OK, that's definitely a sign we should probably wrap it. And then we did. And then about like maybe an hour or two after we were done, I just got absolutely leveled with maximum full body aches

and pains. I'm super excited that you're telling me this. I'm really. Yeah. And just like, you know, in like, I had no reaction to the first two, I was completely fine, just the arm soreness. And then this third one fucking destroyed and punch mom was fine, you know?

But just me, I had had a particular, particular reaction to it that and then I actually tracked and my fever went up like I went up to 58, not 58, not 58, 48, rather. Wait. Your fever went up to 48 degrees. So from the regular being 47. No, wait, am I getting that wrong? Or am I thinking of 37, 38?

Anyway, it was 30, 37, 38. Sorry. One degree up from. You would be a fucking. Yeah, wrong, wrong numbers. Matchstick. Wrong numbers, wrong numbers. So 37 being normal, 39 being huge, big fever problems.

38. I went up to 38 and then I felt it break around like three or four in the morning or so. But. Nice. Like up until that point, it was a brutal reaction. Nice. Yay.

Now you may or may not be in for that because it depends on what you got, right? We had seems like we got different things because when I went for Friday, there was it was pretty much like Moderna, you know. Yeah, I went, I went and got a triple Pfeizer. Yeah. So your PPP and I got PPM. Yeah.

Okay. Well, that makes sense. There's a lot of PP in this house. Well, you know, if anything, if it was this morning, then you might be fine for the rest of the day with this level, but expect. I just want to go to sleep. Yeah. Expect, expect worse tomorrow.

In the meantime, we'll keep this episode normal and by normal. Normal. And by normal, I mean what like a regular podcast should be as opposed to stupid fucking beast length. Yeah. Even though it's got beast, the name. Yeah. Dude, my face is cold.

This is weird, but it's, you know what this podcast is? It's like, it's like a God hand. If you just fuck with the difficulty naming, then normal and hard don't actually have to be normal and hard. Yeah, that makes sense. You know, the length of the podcast normal for us, but it's not really. So, you know, you expect more. Um, all right.

Well, besides the, the, the going to get your shit had the rest of it go. This is the part where I look at the video producer tab on my Twitch to figure out what the fuck I did with my life. This is where you figure out what you did with your life. Okay, cool. I got a couple of things, but nothing's going to go too long either way. Honestly, the only real thing that was new is that me and Paige played Monster Hunter rise specifically and Paige had never played Monster Hunter

before and she really liked it and it's really nice that like we were playing Monster Hunter with, with my, my lady friend and she was like, Oh yay. And then she hit the monster in the face with a hammer and I was like, Hooray. This is great. That being said, man, the first, the first like 45 minutes of playing any Monster Hunter game with anybody new is just so touch and go.

What? It's just so fucking like, what does this do? Well, like this and they go, well, like that. And you go, well, kinda. I, because of the affinity. I mean, would it be the worst thing in the world for there to be a like in-depth onboarding, but fairly streamlined option on the main menu to be like, go here to like get the hang of, to understand what this game is about.

Yeah, there is. It's called the single player. Okay. Well, I mean, I guess a better version of that then. So she went hammer. Wait, hold on a second. The last time we talked about this, you were frustrated with how much onboarding there was.

Right. Right. And that's, I kind of, I guess I'm asking about like a, like, yes, when it's a streamlined version of that, because the too much onboarding was tough. Well, if you, if you want more, you can go single player. And if you want less, you can do the multiplayer. Like if you go straight to the multiplayer, there's almost no tutorials at all. And instead I was just like, Oh, here's how you do this.

Here's how you do this. Okay. Cause yeah, no, what I, what I specifically mean is like a thing that can get around the problems I was having. Um, but anyway, yeah. So, uh, that's great, man. I just been playing a lot of King maker and, uh, and FF 14, but like, I have my friends and we're back on the Sunday night, like, like we'll just do some trials and maybe

baby savages kind of thing. And, uh, like, I have not hung out with those people on my Sunday night thing for like eight weeks, 10 weeks, something like that. And man, there's a, there's a whole fucking learning process into getting back into that group mentality. Like it's just, it's, I don't know how to explain it. I really don't know how to explain it. I can't compare it to anything, but like we were in this situation where like the guy,

a good friend of mine who does all the, all the call outs, like our language wasn't in sync anymore. And like we have to kind of like relearn how to play together. It's a whole thing. It was fun. It was, it's really great to get back into that schedule. Um, yeah. So I'm curious, like she, uh, weapon preferences.

What, uh, what she, what did she go with the page picked a hammer and she stayed with the hammer and she wants to hit things in the face with the hammer with the hammer. Okay. Okay. Every game that page has ever played to my knowledge, she is instantly gravitated towards the biggest and heaviest stick she can get a hold of. Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty fucking sick way to go.

Like that seems correct. She, she always becomes like a, uh, a barbarian equivalent. Big club hit the big swing, the big thing. And then it makes the things go die. Yeah. Page is extremely unga bunga. Right on. Um, okay.

Well, fair enough then. Yeah. That's pretty much it. I mean, I played more bloodstained. Hey, guess what? Bloodstained is good. It's good. I played more King maker.

Guess what? King maker is great. It's really long. It's really, really, really, really, really long. And I ran into some really obtuse absurd shit that I'm like, come on guys. Like I, if I had not known somebody explained to me that there are two companions that in order to get the good outcomes to their companion quests, you need to bring each of them on the other ones companion quest.

I'm confused. Okay. So let's say, uh, let's, let's say, uh, let's take a Kotor example, right? Right. Let's take HK and, uh, and fucking, uh, what was the, what was the Chewie guy named? Um, um, Hanhar. Hanhar. Okay.

Let's say Chewie and Hanhar. Sorry. Hanhar. Right. Turns out you can only get the good outcome for HK and Hanhar's quests. If you bring HK to Hanhar's quests and Hanhar to HK's quest, even though they don't like each other. Okay.

Okay. Because they have to see that in one situation, this person will act like this way and the other person will act the other way and it's like a whole fucking thing and it sucks because I hate one of those fucking characters and I've had them on the bench the whole fucking game. Okay. Um, man. Yeah, whatever.

It's not the end of the world. Man. Uh, okay. Uh, over yonder wolf side. Hey, if you want to check out the streams that'll happen every day this week, except for a Tuesday and Sunday, I preemptively you fucking Wednesday, Wednesday and Saturday. You kill that fucking Tuesday. If you know it's good for you, um, uh, you go down to twitch.tv slash past stairs at

you. You know, do that or you don't kill Tuesday and then have the stream set to auto live and just have the stream automatically turn on and just here in particular on, uh, on Saturday we're going to be playing monster hunter with page again and, uh, Eli is going to hop on and, uh, play as well. So if you guys are interested in that, you can check that out Saturday afternoon. Cool. What have you been up to over a woolly versus?

Okay. Well, um, yep. So booster booster thing that happened. Um, okay. Well, how about this? How about a trademark woolly's awful movie opinion segment? Can we do another one? All right.

All right. Yeah. We do, we do one every time you watch a movie. So let's do it. Yeah. Let's do it. Uh, I watch dude, don't look up is so deep because it tells you what you feel. Damn dude.

So deep. Cool. Um, did you get it? Did you get it? It's about global warming. Yep. So, uh, I watched in Kanto and I thought it was pretty good. Yeah.

I was lit. I was just talking about in Kanto in this house 40 minutes ago. Yeah. Because I, I, I went using the tech talk and I looked over to, to the lady and I says, Hey lady. And she says, yeah. And I said, have you, have you heard that Bruno shit? And she's like, well, yeah, I'm like, can you mind if I watch it?

And she's like, no, that song's great. So then I watched the Bruno thing and I'm like, should we watch this? This looks good. And she's like, we should watch this. It does look good. Yeah. It's really good. Um, I then, and it made me realize, uh, well, there's two things about it.

One, um, the moment like the, the music kind of started, I kind of went, Oh, wait, I haven't watched a musical in a really long time. And even the recent, like, uh, uh, you know, 3D animations, movies I've watched, like watching the Pixar movies. Like, yeah, they don't do the musical stuff, you know, but, um, yeah. Well, so here's the thing, right? You have to realize that like Pixar's Pixar and they're Disney still, they're still Disney owned, but the Disney animation studios movies are not Pixar.

And those are the ones with the musical stuff. And those are the ones that, well, sometimes at the very least that the tangled and the, and the such and the, um, the frozen. Um, but yeah, you don't really realize that you're like, Oh yeah. The music moments and the parts where they, they get ready to start singing, you know, um, you don't really get those in the Pixar movies really. Um, so in here, you're like, yeah, you know, fun songs, good stuff. Um, I realized that like, uh, in everything, like I love a bunch of old

Disney movies that have like fucking, you know, like Lion King's fucking great and on all the music and stuff, but I realized like, like the part that I find the funniest is the transition in between the real life or the movie you happening and then the song getting ready to start. There's always a weird moment of, you don't know what song's about to start here and everyone starts talking and acting a little weird. And you're like, what is happening? There's the beat about that.

Man, man, man talking about. Dude, and it just, it starts a little like the things just kind of slowly lead it and then the background music builds up. You're like, Oh, we're starting a song, you know, but it's that I can see what's happening, what, and they don't have a clue who like the, the, the fucking in between moments are always just a, what, what has happened? Oh God, music, right. Okay, cool.

You know, and then yeah, the Bruno songs fucking, it's a catchy one. Um, and yeah, you know, a big fan of songs that are five songs. And at the end they're like, why don't we just overlay every single fucking song on top of one another? Yeah, what if I did that? Those are good. When you do a like, I like that. I don't know what that's called in the round.

It's when you go in the round at the end of a song. Okay, cool. Um, and then, uh, the there was a, there's a thing. That, um, there's a thing I have about, about when I'm watching a story sometimes where, uh, well, it was, it was, it was in the end, like it totally makes sense, but I had a, a moment of confusion, I guess, about like, uh, what's happening and you haven't, you're, you're gonna, you said you're gonna watch it, right? Yeah, probably.

Okay. So, um, there was, there basically, there's a, uh, uh, you know how like when things, a world gets introduced and then you kind of go like, okay, there's the setting, uh, then the characters are in the setting and then like, um, let's say you're introducing, I don't know, like Harry Potter, right? There's, there's the world and then there's magic and then there's the people and then like, you kind of try to figure out how they use that stuff and whatnot. Um, yeah, you gotta get over the fact that, you know, it's British.

Sure. Yes, exactly. Um, so in this case, uh, it was one of those bits where like, because of the, the way the, the magic is kind of introduced in this, I was kind of like, um, I was, I thought it was, I was waiting on like a, a sort of like an outside explanation for things and then there wasn't and it's a lot simpler than that. But it makes me realize that like when, in the absence of information, I, I assume that there is a, um, a system like the one I just described in place and

that's not always going to be the case in stories. Are you disappointed with the lack of lore in Encanto? Not at all. That's not what I'm saying. No, no, uh, because it makes perfect sense and, and the end, the, uh, it's, it's the whole thing's about family, right? So you're going to see that giant cast of characters, which they do a pretty amazing job, like you see a whole bunch of them and you're like, that's so many

people, how am I going to, and then at the end you're like, Oh, I know who everybody is. It's like, you completely get used to all of it, you know? Um, yeah. You know, as somebody who's not from a big family, like seeing stories that feature huge families have always been like super hard for me to keep track of. Uh, and it reminds me of, uh, my coming as funeral when I went out to fucking, um, Jolliet and my dad's like, here's your aunts and I'm like, what?

And it's like, here's my eight great aunts that I've never met because a couple generations ago, every single member of the family had literally 10 to 15 kids. And these are the ones that survived into their eighties. And I'm like, hello. And like they rattle off the names. And I'm like, yeah, no, no, no, no shot here. I have no chance. Yeah.

No, that is a trained skill that like you have, you can practice to be good at like meeting people faces, networking and all that jazz. And apparently it's something that like all that politicians do is like train to see a face, hear a name and then create an instant burn in that never goes away so that if you see, yeah, like the person years later, they still remember. Like I heard that about like something, so something about like Obama where someone met him once and then like years later, met him again. And he's like, can you remember their name completely?

And it's like, Oh God, that's just some crazy. Let's get the CIA has a chip in the president's head that feeds them the info from the deep net naturally. Uh, but on top of that, dude, in that particular situation, I was off topic, but like, because all of these are aged French ladies, they've all kind of like aged into the same person. They're all, they're all four, eight to five foot. They all have the same styled gray hair.

They all have the same accent. They speak zero English because they're out in Joliet. Right. Um, they saw my mom and went, Oh, look at this. So stern and glow up. And my mom was like, what do they say? And like, they're very surprised to see you. They're very, they're very, they, you're like a zebra.

That's, that's funny. Um, yeah. Anyway, so there's just a little bit of, uh, of like, like, as it's, as the story's kind of going on, me going like, what, like, how does, how does, how does the magic work? And like, what, what's making those things that they're going through happen? And then it's like, Oh shit, it's, yeah. Okay.

It's a lot, it's a lot more of a closed circuit than, than, uh, is it a rock? Uh, it's a candle. Okay, done. Yeah. Fine. Sure. Mm-hmm. But really it's family.

Family family. That's the most important part about family, family though. Right. Never, ever forget your family. Um, so yeah, uh, it's, it's a fun one. And, um, Disney animation studios has, uh, successfully made it so that most people's brains are not going to distinguish between a Pixar and a non Pixar movie when they drop, you're just going to, your brain is just going

to, yep, it's one of those, you know. Um, so like, if I say, you know, uh, I don't know, brave, is that a Pixar movie or is not a Pixar movie or is a Disney movie? It's a Pixar movie. It's a, it's a Pixar movie. But if I say, I could, I could, yeah. Okay. After you.

You can tell them. I can tell them apart with one distinction. Yeah. It's the level of color saturation present in the image. Okay. Pixar movies have a more naturalistic tone, whereas the, the Disney animation ones are more saturated. Okay.

I, so the thing that came to mind and, and, and, you know, punch mom brought this up is when it seems like it's like a Disney princess, you're going to assume it's a Disney animation, right? Which I think brave counts as, but not explicitly because like, obviously they, you know, then you go like a Moana, right? And that's, that's, that's not a Pixar. That's a, that's a Disney animation and Zootopia and all that. Yeah.

Cause she's a Disney princess. Yeah. Um, animal companion, doesn't she? So yeah, the, the, uh, but they've, I feel like they've successfully made a, a blur in, in our heads about like which one's which, not to mention the, the character's art style, like the, the, you know, the designs. Um, well, there's some exceptions, but like for the most part, they also have a unified look between the two that you're like, Oh yeah.

Okay. Like it all fits together. Um, yeah. Encanto. That wasn't a shit movie opinion. And people hating on Encanto now. No, I don't, I don't think so. Um, I would, I would, uh, well, it, you know, when you see it and you give

your thoughts, I might elaborate a little more on the, um, the, the, the part I'm talking about in terms of the, like the magic stuff, but, um, that's all there and, uh, hey, it's got a cool muscle girl. She's strong and that kid, that's cool. I saw her song also that, that, that bit is cool. Yeah. Her song is the second famous song, I think I will say though, I gotta say, and this is as somebody who like, watched a lot of the Disney musicals as a child.

There's a real difference in the, I don't know how to put this. Like you look at like little mermaid or like, uh, Notre Dame or whatever. And it's like, it's like the, the musical parts of it are performed in choreographed like opera or musical theater, whereas, uh, like the, the new stuff is, I think I know what you're going to say video. Yes. Yes. It has super highly choreographed, popping dance.

No, now listen up real careful because there is a segment of her song where you can see the tick tock dance start and yes, and it is absolutely clear where they want you to begin the tick tock and to stop the tick tock. It's, it's super obvious. They have, they have absolutely leaned into that and thrown out whatever you're thinking of with the, there's no, there's no moment in the, the, the, the chandelier dancing, you know, in beauty and the beast where you're like, the tick tock starts and ends here.

It's just a fucking where bell just starts doing the kicks with the hand thing. You know, like it is, it is very, it is very, very obvious. Um, like a lot of the, the visuals and like colors, shuff shift, a spotlight drops, you know, and then the choreography begins and it's very much like put your camera vertically here, stand back, get yourself in frame and you know, so expect out, it's kind of like, um, when you, it's not, um, it's not dissimilar to, uh, when you see videos that are, or shows that have a moment that's made to be gift. A hundred percent.

Yeah. Like, uh, Teen Titans go like, or, or Tim and Eric or, or me pulling the camera in and whispering, shut the fuck up. Yeah, that you knew what you were doing. Cheers. You know, I'm going to go on a side here because I have nothing to talk about on my week, so I'm going to fill time with some bullshit that I want to talk about. Uh, Paige and I have been locked into the, the fucking, uh, the ritual of, okay, it's

time to go to bed and what going to bed means. Let's snuggle up and watch TikToks for 90 minutes. And it's actually all fun, but more than anything, I will give that platform a serious prop because it has revitalized a style of humor that I absolutely adore. Uh, I forget the name of it. Is it dinosaur comics? That's for comics. Yeah.

The same panel. So I, I love dinosaur comics and I am in fucking awe that there, I think they're still going and it is literally the same fucking thing every day and have kept it fresh. And there's a, there's a, uh, element, uh, there's an elementary school teacher that I follow, for example, on TikTok named, uh, Leigh McNasty. And he just does skits that are, this is what my fucking students said to me today in class.

And it is the same joke every single fucking day, every day. And it's just different enough. It's just enough that I'm like, this is great. It's like Rodney Dangerfield's fucking platform of choice, rest his soul. The man had a single joke for like 50 years. Figured it out. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, uh, I don't, is that, that's, is that platform specific

though? Cause that just sounds like that person could be funny on anything there were. Oh, absolutely. But because of the nature of it, of like, Hey, here's your 30 second video, like Vine similar. Okay. And you, people are just doing them every single day. Okay.

Um, yeah. No, I, I, at a, at a brief swipe through the, you know, the, the, the account that's set up and doing stuff. I just was completely, just not interested in what I was seeing. Um, but there's memes. I know. And I just, I, I was, I looked and I'm like, I don't you want to know what the kids are into.

I hated so much of what I was seeing because well, I mean, I just, when I see like it swipes to like some kid who's going to pretend they have Tourette's and it's just the word. And I'm like, I can't do it to watch enough of it. That it has to know that I'd real, I realized that I realized that, but I just, um, like what I like, if I, I wish I could just like, if, if anything, I want like, I, I, if I could feed my algorithm, I would want it to just send me short videos of machines doing things.

You can do that. I know. And I have, and I have, and I have done that on, uh, Reddit and a couple other places where it's like, just show me an Instagram as well, like dynamic automation, just show me machines doing, wrote things in a really cool way, especially if it involves like melting steel or cutting into it. Sometimes that shit is fucking rad. There's a guy that will say there is.

Sorry, there's a guy that took a part of watch and put it back together. And I was like, yes, that's cool. Yeah, that's, that's me. That's what I want my algorithm to be. Um, the, the tick, the TikTok has a bunch of weird mechanics to it that put you face to face with the algorithm so much more closely than any other form of media, like you're, you like with Facebook and Instagram and all this shit and Twitter, right?

Like you can kind of sense the algorithm working in the background, right? But you don't get to look at it. TikTok, you get to look at the algorithm as it's happening. And I can tell you why it's because. TikTok has a specific little night, specifically nightmarish algorithmic problem, which I'm sure everyone who uses that application often has encountered, which is it determines what you want to see based on how many times you see certain things and keep watching them, right?

Which means you're scrolling through the tick, talking like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then in the, in the far off, you go, bro, you hear, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. And you go, oh, I'll put my phone down. Hold on a second. I'll go check out on seeing what puppy dog is barking at. Oh, he needs to go outside. Oh, okay. I'll take him outside.

And then you come back in and you go, oh, no, I've been rewatching this garbage on loop. He loves it. Literally, literally 80, 100 times for like 20 minutes. He loves the fake Tourette's girl. It's, you know what, you know what it's like? It is the equivalent of when you click on a gaming news fucking thing on YouTube and the guy starts going off about SJW's ruin video games and you

click off and then your feed just starts feeding you nothing. But Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan, the, the, okay. No, the just nothing, but like, you can't get away from it and your shit fills up with fucking anti-vax crap. And you're like, no, I just wanted to know what's going on with Dark Souls. The Robo videos, the ones where it was put together by a fucking automated automatic process where it's just a text to script like voice reader that says in the news today, a motorcycle was found here and blah

and it's like, and those videos have an entire subsystem that like, yeah, you click on a thing that you think might have been a story about a thing. And it's not a story about a thing. It's a fake Robo video. And then, yeah, if you are in that, you're getting recommended all Robo videos all the time. It sucks. It's a problem.

Yeah. The, the, the, the algorithm I want to, I want to just make it robots doing. Well, not robots talking. I want to make, I want it to be robots making things. If the robots are talking, that's bad. If the robots are making, machining, that's good. I've discovered a bunch of new facets of people's lives that I've never, I've never known about, uh, because of tech talk, which I genuinely

really like using the app is not an ad, by the way, I just waste my time. Like discovering that, um, contractors hate each other. Like ill, like the elect, um, electricians and painters and drywallers all fucking hate each other so much that they're, that they're putting up videos of them shitting on each other's work and like damaging each other's fucking businesses, like is, is, is fucking, it's incredible. I love it. I absolutely love it.

Uh, don't use JP's drywalling service. Look at this garbage. Because it's, it's, it's, it's like an electrician coming, coming into a job and going, these motherfuckers drywalled over my fucking fuse box. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So now I got a, and he starts taking like a pick to it. Now I got, they're going to have to do this over. And it's like, I love it. I love this, this, this, this new world of antagonism between people. It's good. Um, anyway, well, so yeah, Encanto. Also, okay.

One, this is important, Willie. This is really important for us. What I've discovered by getting little peaks into people's lives is to never get divorced. Okay. Just don't do it. No matter what, just, just, just don't, don't get divorced. If you're thinking about getting divorced, don't do it.

It's bad. So I take it, divorcee talk is a thing then. It's the most pathetic thing in the world. It's people doing like anime music videos of them, like throwing their rings away into like the snow and, and like, it's like, it's, it's the cringest shit you could imagine. Okay. Okay.

It's like fake skits of pop songs over the things that you missed. No, I would never invite that into my life. And I would never go looking for that. So the fact that that would be pushed into my face, I don't enjoy that. I don't like the idea. But you love cring. I do. That I do.

Um. But like this specific year, like this whole rabbit hole you're describing, like I would never go looking that up and just like having it shoved down in front of me. I'm just like, yeah, I don't know. I would like to exert some control over the situation, perhaps a search box. You know, um, no, it's a roulette wheel for cringe. Yeah.

Anyway, um, all right. That's, that's, I just wanted to, sorry. I just never have a chance to talk about it ever again. That, that, that's, I, I, I, I, it's just, it's interesting. You're mentioning like, like watching your algorithm develop and getting into the tech talk stuff. Because like again, when, when the page popped up and I went tonight and I looked through a bit and I was just like, I absolutely don't like, like I see

how this would learn, but I'm too impatient with what I'm seeing. And I'm actively hating most of what I'm seeing. I think my favorite part about dealing with the algorithm is that you or I will show up in my algorithm and I'll be like, get out of here. I don't want to see that shit. Swipe the phone out of your hand. Get out. I don't want to.

It goes flying. It's like, it's like CSB clips. Yeah, I'm not going to watch myself make a point to you. That's weird. Yeah. I get it. I get it. That's that's that's no intellectual masturbation to a level.

I don't think I'm ready to get to quite yet. I will listen back. My face is literally cold. I will listen back to me coughing and dying and laughing at something. But yeah, not not to anything at length. So anyway, um, so, uh, yeah, there's that. And then we started Silent Hill 2 and that's still going and that's pretty good. And how is that going?

Tell me about it. Well, it's going good. I'm enjoying what I saw so far and like even already knowing like stuff about what it is and what's coming in some ways, like it's still a really enjoyable journey and there's stuff that I don't know, obviously, so it's not all 100% clear, but, um, like, um, the the the turn it's taking in James's Harry's trip to the hospital was pretty cool. James's trip to the hospital is fucking awesome.

Yeah, I understand. Tons of shit happens in there. Way lots of shit happens. And, um, seeing like how it handles it, the descent is so fucking sick. That's really good. I like that a lot. A lot of people were were like, it's so weird because Silent Hill 2 is one of those those games that like when it came out, people didn't give it the

it's due diligence. They didn't they didn't love it as much as they they did in the future because like the there were complaints. So you've done the apartments and the the hospital, right? So hospital is a really good example. Harry's hospital is blood chains murder nightmare. Whereas James is like filth and like plastic and like depression. And it's not as overtly horrifying.

There's lots of blood around, but but you know what I mean, right? Yeah, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. Right. And people were like, it's not as scary. It's like, whoa, it doesn't need to be as terrifying what I will be as good. Well, here's what I noticed, right? Is what's going on there is instead of like, yeah, like that, all that,

that like mass massive like blood horror murder stuff. There's stuff like, oh, you have to reach your arm into this hole to get this thing. OK, now there's another dark space you have to reach your arm into. You will never have you will never stop putting your arm into unsafe dark crevices to pull things out, you know, James is the kind of guy who just jam his arm up to the shoulder in a strange shit filled toilet with no hesitation. And that's a specific kind of horror. It really is.

The other thing, of course, is the streets are not filled with wyverns and fucking dogs biting and tracing and swooping in from above and below. It's a bunch of walkers that are fairly easy to avoid, especially because like the more challenging runs were running away from the monsters in part one. And in two, it's like nothing. I have no problem clearing the streets. The lying figure, which is what you're going to have for. Like 80 percent of the time in those streets is nowhere as dangerous or mobile

as your dog or your or your pterodactyl. But the but the knockdown to the ground crawl around still got me, though. That got me pretty good. Yeah. And the noise is. Oh, the noise, the note, the sound design fucking did its job in the oh, it's in the prison cells when you're like, I'm like, there's a boss in this room. And it's it's it's here to eat me. And it's like, no, there isn't.

But damn, does they fucking mess around or that empty room with the gallows and the and the the chariot? Oh, you're going like, God, damn, that fucking room. And I was I've never been less. I've never been more uneasy in a room with that word. There was no threat whatsoever. Yeah, it's it's it's doing all sorts of stuff that's way ahead of its time. Let me ask you.

How do you feel about, quote, that red pyramid thing? And, quote. I mean, because they never call him pyramid head in the actual game. Yeah, weird red pyramid. Well, he does his job of, like, creating an instantly, oh, fuck, oh, shit. Oh, God, oh, fuck. Though, like, I didn't like the rules of how he works, because this is just how I do things were not clear on an initial encounter.

And so it was like, oh, boy, they're not. They're really unclear. So then it's like, am I at a certain point? I'm like, OK, I feel like I'm wasting resources here. I'm just going to not do that. And it's like, no, you would be right to do so because you advance the time frame that it takes before he goes away. But I felt like I was being wasteful and dumb for emptying bullets onto him

that were clearly not causing a reaction. You know, if if I remember correctly, mechanically, his health bar is a timer. Yes. And he slows down in animation as you do more damage to him and then speeds back up as the that heals off, you know. But like every other stuff, though, because like the thing you're describing about like, it feels like nothing's working, that's intentional. And video games tell you using that language, try something else. So the game is communicating to you, try something else with that

line with the language and you're like, well, that door is locked in this downstairs pit is fucking full of water. So I guess we're just going to wait for this to happen and try not to die, you know. And then, yeah, it then it does its thing. Then later on, boy, did I lab it and initiate the QA field. And now I completely understand how he works because I broke him in the second encounter. I completely smashed it open to the point where I was like,

can you save Maria in this hallway? And the answer is clearly no. But we find out because I get put. I forced her because she's behind you and she's not tracking as fast. So then she's always going to be in the way, you know, but I forced her in front of me and then bumped her to the point where he triggers and then he's trying around the corner and then I do a fucking side flank and just start going at it with the hammer and he completely can't do shit.

And we get to a point where we spend like maybe five minutes just like, OK, we've think this is the limit of what they wanted you to do. Why you got to be like, that's like a that's like a really dramatic. No, too bad. Like, what if that would have been too bad? I'm that's that's why I'm good at my fucking job. That's what it is, you know, jobs make content now. And and in that same vein, I also I miss the back step,

the dandy step, the little hook. Yeah, that thing was if you go if you watch my run in one, I use that to perfectly outfoot see some bosses and yeah, it's weird because James is like heavier than Harry was. Yeah, I don't like I have the run going and it's like that's nice and I can actually maneuver and I have more gun options and that's cool. And I have, you know, the weapons and such. But that little little slow lumbering back step,

I was able to buffer that in and anticipate attacks and space them. And like now I can't do that. I'm like, damn. And then the other thing that that is better in one is the swinging like mechanically is in one, it's just hold or tap, right? And you can move forward or backwards, depending on if it's if it's the the sideways swing or the overhead. In this, it's trying to emulate the sensitivity of the analog inputs

on a PS2 and it's not fucking working on this port. So instead, you have a really weird, inconsistent, sometimes taps, sometimes hold with each weapon thing. That's not clear, you know, that's a bummer, but all that aside. Yeah, still still really, really solid puzzles are good. Everything was fine with that. I would say that the there what there's one other moment where it's kind of like that that first pyramid head encounter of like,

am I doing the wrong thing? I don't know. And you just have to kind of wait it out. A bit is when you first start rowing that boat. Oh, yeah. And you're like, am I? Yeah, no, you're doing OK. Am I doing nothing?

You know, yeah. And then you kind of start swinging it around and you're like, OK, there's a light. But there was at least a solid, you know, I don't know, maybe minute or so of like, am I just fucking doing nothing right now? Am I swinging into a corner? You know. But yeah, one of the things that like, I feel like I want to point out

because I want to I want to get your feeling on it. I feel like Silent Hill 2 remains to this day the absolute best example of the the quantum distance between having Laura Bailey play your 10 year old and having a 10 year old play your 10 year old. Yeah. Because Laura, the character being voiced by an actual child after listening to so many video games have children that are just like women in their 30s. Yeah.

Is nuts like it's night and day. And, you know, I that that you little shit fucking feeling. Oh, just immediately cements itself in your heart. God, you fucking. You know, yeah, yeah. No, it does its job. It does its job. It gets you fucking riled the fuck up the shit out of fucking kid.

Kicks the fucking key out from your fucking hand. Then locks you in that fucking room. See, it was also a while to see, like, again, when the game goes like there's there's like even when you're fighting bosses a bunch of times, it's like, yeah, this is a boss, but it's still a monster. And you're still trying to like you're still fighting it with a dynamic camera angle that puts you at a disadvantage, right? Like walking down a hallway with with no sight down the hallway.

It's all over the top. Right. But then when you get locked in the freezer room and you got to do a fucking MGS boss battle with Fat Boy and you're like, oh, this is now like Siphon filter camera. This is now over the shoulder. Hide behind the meat. Line it up and, you know, it switched up pretty aggressively that that game

came out a long time ago. That's all I could say. Yeah. But yeah, man, I love that fucking game. Yeah, no, where are you at right now? You're headed to the hotel got described rowing your boat. I rode across the ocean. I got to the hotel and I saved it.

The hotel is hot. Cool. I love that place. Cool. Yeah, so far so good. Oh, also, we didn't talk too much about it when you played Silent Hill one, but now that you're most the way through Silent Hill two, how do you feel about the music?

Yeah. So it's such a shame that like some of the the cool what I'm just going to call it fucking gondola music or or Venice music in that that you hear it's getting got struck and I had to mute it. But that stuff is really fun. In that it's so tonally dissonant from the industrial clangs and hammers and the sound of like, yeah, we recorded a factory

and then just put that into a beat and that's what's coming to get you. And it's like, that makes sense because I'm running on like factory graded fence right now. Yeah, it's no, it's good at being like spoopy, you know, it's doing its job. I fucking love that soundtrack so much. It's just all the really somber piano tracks. And then somber piano track, you know, like sandwiched between just the most dissonant fucking, you know, you know, it's a shame because like

there's a there's a there are different styles, obviously. But as a as a big fan of survival horror from the the the late 90s and the early aughts, the PS one and PS two generation survival horror games. They all had this really unique sound, which was like, I guess I would call it like ambient creepy room audio. And they're great. And shit doesn't sound like that anymore. Like the Silent Hill one, two and three and Resident Evil one, two and three

have incredible soundtracks that are just this ambient anxiety, but also just sound very pleasant to listen to. So like the the Resident Evil two, there's like the the the the the the the the lobby theme or in Silent Hill two. When you first met Angela, and there's like this halting piano. Yeah, man, shit, shit doesn't sound like that. I think the last game that sounded like that at all was like, tell me cry one where there's just a little bit of it left.

There's there's some there's a really great track that plays when you walk into the bowling alley and Eddie's eating the pizza. Yeah. And yeah, there's a couple of times where unfortunately I like paused it or walked into a door and then it stopped. I was like, oh, I didn't want that to stop. But that was before video games learned to force you to walk somewhere. So they they expect that you're going to just sit there and like soak it in. But if you're just like a pro gamer like us,

you just walk over the door and leave and the music just cuts. And you're like, oh, fuck, I was I was going to the door. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You're like, I thought the ambience would go. Anyway, yeah, that's that's that's cool. So far, we'll see where that go, you know, we're coming up on it. Probably going to wrap that up this week. Next session and Spider-Man Miles Morales.

Shit's hot. It's great. And how's the music situation with that? Well, there is a lot of go fuck yourself. Get a copyright strike music. However, thankfully, when you press start, even during a cut scene, you can go to options. It pauses and lets you drop the music down anywhere at any time. Oh, that's nice.

So when a cut scene starts, you go, oh, no, you don't. I see like Miles is walking off the subway and he's got his headphones around his neck. And then he picks them up to put them on his head. I'm like, fuck. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. So you see the build up to it, you know, and you just drop that shit and you're you're all golden or

you're at your house. And then one of the things is like, go find a record to put on the record player. And you're looking through real records of real music and you're just like, yeah, OK, fuck off. We're turning that down. So, you know, as long as you know and you get it, you can you can quickly dodge it.

And we've been safely able to dodge all the copyrighted music so far instead singing the Japanese Spider-Man theme. So good times. And that's great. Yeah, it's it's it's, you know, we're in a partway through it. And as Reggie said, it's it's an excuse for us to act a fool. Because because, you know, like the whole like swagger of a black team. Yep, it starts in an immediately exaggerated swagger. Exactly.

And so you best believe we're just going to be acting a fool. And we immediately do upon seeing the Timbs that he's rocking. So, yeah, I expect I expect the shenanigans to continue as we just yell and shout and scream for the culture, do it for the culture. Yeah, that game is excellent. I only have a single complaint about the whole game. And it was a complaint that was kind of in the original

like Spider-Man on the PS4, but it wasn't quite as bad where they'll do this thing where they they open up the open world and they unlock all these challenge missions for you to do. And those challenge missions are some of them, not all of them are intended to be done later once you have more abilities because trying to gold star them upon their unlock is like a fucking joke. Yeah, I settled for silvering most of what I was going for.

And then like, I was like, maybe I'll come back or something. But like there are a couple that I'm like, I don't think it's possible to gold star this right now. And then and then like an hour later, it's like, get a new web zip that's five times as fast. I'm like, OK, yeah, all right, there you go. OK. What I find really hilarious is that from the jump, Miles has so much more going on combat wise

because of his venom strikes. Oh, yeah, it's way more fun than the gadgets. And like he still has gadgets, but you have such a ridiculously strong ability that like devastates, you know, like even the longest encounters. And so to make up for the fact that like he has this overwhelming power, but you're clearly not fucking Peter Parker like Spiderman. You're new. You've been doing it for like a couple weeks.

So his animations have to he's sloppier. And they oh, he's goofy. They compensate by making his crazy overpowered stuff be like, whoa. Oh, my God, I almost lost my balance there, you know. And like they have a lot of like they put the amateur aspect into the animation because in terms of just what you're doing, it's way above what Peter could do in the last game. 100 percent.

Like with the swinging is where I found it to be the most obvious because Peter is like doing this this picturesque cover of the comic book. Gymnast perfect swoops and dives. And Miles, like one of his things, he's swinging from it on one hand and he's like spinning horizontally around it, like looking over his shoulder because he can't keep himself straight. Yeah, it's it's it's funny, but they did a good job with that. I was really there was only one thing that I was like

like about that. I was like, man, these animations are great. I had wished that there was a slight change to the animation from the very beginning of the game to the very end of the game. I was hoping he would take a little more to just a little more confident, a little more. But no, that's that's a sequel thing. Yeah, it's going to be. That's going to be the difference expensive. The picturesque, like classical spidey

and then the goofy style in the in our sequel. And then not every game can be lester the unlikely. You're right. Not every game. God damn it. Mm hmm. Reset the clock. God damn it. Reset the clock. We just mentioned Lester the unlikely. Yeah. And if you know, you know.

So, yeah, that you know, you know, that's a that's a good one that continues. And, you know, real, real, real, there's not much to say, but look, we've been having some fun over on the get into fighting games. Just doing some ultimax sets because fuck it. And yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's been it's been it's been fun. It's been you and Reggie. Yep. And then doing the parsec matches with the crowd.

So anybody who wants to come play with us, you plug in a controller or a stick and you connect on parsec and then we play with you together. And it's been it's been dope. And those are some those are some hype episodes. But then in addition to that, we've got a special little we got it. We got the whiplash of digging into the barrel, pulling out ultimax and then also playing some obscure nonsense bullshit, such as heartbreakers, advanced and B is what get into fighting games is all about.

And I don't I want you to go on the journey in that episode when it when it comes out, folks, it's a good time. But the needless to say that I there's a point when we're scrolling through this goofy ass cast of characters from a non released 3D Korean fighting game that takes heavy cues from rival schools in Tekken. OK, goofy ass characters and meters that no one can figure out what they do or why.

And there's a good. Excellent. Subsystems that like NASA scientists are currently trying to find out what the end meter does and why it occasionally switches to the S meter. We don't know. Will we ever know? Maybe in a, you know, another couple decades. But for now, the research continues. And Reggie, you know, he's still relatively new to this whole game. So, you know, he's gotten more comfortable.

He's gotten the hang of, you know, throwing me under the bus, throwing himself under the bus, throwing the bus under the bus. Oh, you mean this game? This game? Not that. Yes. No, this game. All right. Zoom. Got it. The microphone sitting in front of you game and the Triple H game. Indeed. And but every once in a while, he still makes a couple of rookie mistakes.

And I got to go. Oh, hold up. Here we go. You got to. Here's a lesson. So he made the mistake of scrolling offscreen to the boss characters way too soon in the video. And he's like, oh, let's go see what these guys are about. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You do not. You get to do that. No. Do not. Only you.

Do not get to the extra offscreen content before you go through that main roster because you never know what kind of wild shit is coming offscreen. Right. For example, one time, the boss characters in a game we played included Wacker, who was just a Nazi that's through burning swastikas at you. Right. I remember that. And then so I'm like, OK.

And then we go through the regular roster and get through the cast and then, lo and behold, in the in the fucking bosses, a Nazi shows up with swastikas burnt into his arms again. And I wasn't even talking about this game. A completely. It was it was wild. So, you know, and then from there, of course, the machine starts turning and the references start going and then the gags and then downfall dot mp4.

And in the end, watch it. It's a good time. It's a fun journey. It's it's probably about 20 minutes long. But whenever that drops, its heartbreakers advanced and be here. The the the takeaway of the night is third strike spelled S T R I E C H. Oh, all right. I got that little smile on my face.

Yeah, just like, hmm, OK. So come check out the fun times over on woolly versus. Currently, we got Silent Hill. We got Miles Morales. We got Dark Souls. Um, and we got Ultimax and soon we got Heartbreakers advanced and be you guys are still doing Dark Souls. I thought Reggie beat it. Yeah, the episodes are still coming out, though, because OK.

Yeah, we started Silent Hill earlier because we want to like, you know, get those going because right now we're in the gap period. Right. We talked about the gap. So waiting for the Elden FF six. Oh, by the way, I recently somebody sent me one of your videos for Dark Souls and they're like, you won't believe this shit. And I can't believe this shit with Centipede Demon. Where he just accidentally one shots it and gets the fucking ring.

Dude, if I relayed to you the level of bullshit luck this fucker has been experiencing the entire time, it would just be a constant state of anger and frustration. OK, everything he's been doing random, untargeted, untargeted magic shot knocks the arm off immediately. Never mind the the archer approach at the rooftops of Adderlondo.

Never mind, you know, a bunch of other nonsense moments coming through and working out. Yeah. Anyways, it's it's it's it's wild. It's wild. It's it's fucking stupid. Reggie's just a lucky mother fucker. And, you know, in Dokopon, I saw it and I was like, I can't even challenge it anymore.

I just gave up. I don't I don't understand, you know, but. He gets his comeuppance. Eventually, I'm glad I'm glad he does. Because otherwise, it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be. It wouldn't be, you know. But yeah, that's what's that's what's going on. So if you want to come enjoy some of those games,

Wally versus on Twitch, Wally versus on YouTube, good times. All right, let's. Let's take a quick P break. I got a I got a course. And then we'll be back with our sponsors. Yes. And then we're going to move quickly through this week because that's the goal today. B.R.B.

Season this week. The podcast is brought to you by Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix. Yeah, who are they? They are in the business of making sure that your style and clothing look good. And oh, I could use that on point because, yeah, you know,

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you know, grocery stores, throwing out lots of food on a regular basis, stuff that is totally fine. It just doesn't have the perfect shape. You know who's smarter than both of us about this? The stupid dog. You think this dog gives a shit what his apple looks like? All he knows is that if I say the word apple, he's ready for apple.

That's it. You don't got to think twice. Still good. So, yeah, that wasteful way that food supply goes unsold and uneaten on a regular basis and it's perfectly good and healthy and usable, it sucks. So Imperfect Foods is basically about getting you groceries from an entire line of sustainable groceries that reduce waste and embrace the natural imperfections in food, they deliver it.

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So yeah, not going to the grocery store seems fucking lit right now. Not a bad idea, not a bad idea. Again, you know, the the the idea of like, oh, that that wonky looking thing, your stomach is not going to fucking give a fuck about the bump in the apple. So what your stomach doesn't even know the difference between an apple and a rock half the time and real talk when you see the pile of it, like in the dumpster afterwards and you're just like, that's what is that? Delicious. This is this is we can do a better.

There's a better way to go about modern food. You know, it's it's it's fucked because I used to work in a place where we'd we'd get a banana and it'd be a perfectly good banana and somebody would go, this banana looks too fucked up. No one's going to buy it. Just throw it in the garbage. Yeah, gotta be a better way, stupid ways gotta be. So yeah, right now and perfect foods is offering listeners 20% off your first four

orders when you go to imperfectfoods.com, use the promo code SuperBeast again, 20% off your first four orders. That's up to an eight dollar value at imperfectfoods.com offer code when you use the promo code SuperBeast. Join the movement at imperfectfoods.com, use the code SuperBeast. Thank you, imperfect foods. Thanks, imperfect foods from an imperfect podcast with imperfect people. I don't know what you're talking about.

This is a perfect podcast with perfect people. I just like the alliteration of saying a lot of P's, okay, I'm like, there is a, there is a not 0% chance that you're sitting in your own fecal matter right now and we could never know. But would you say that the perfect go off Patrick is sitting in his poop? I would say that during the podcast. I would say that. I would say I mean shit, dude.

I like, I mean page are going to be streaming more games together and we got Eli on the, on the channel on Saturday. So the fucking thing is going to be pee pee time with Pat Page and Plague. Perfect P is a fun letter perfection. It's also a verb. All right, so this week, let's grab some stories here. There's some, you know, I'm seeing a little, there's a little bit of a little thing we got going on.

There's some wholesome stories and there's some not wholesome stories. So let's start with the good shit. How about we just, how about we play a little ping pong back and forth with the wholesome and then the not wholesome sound good? Oh, okay. That's a great idea. Let's do wholesome new trailer for Kirby in the forgotten land. It's coming out.

It's good on March 25th. It's got co-op support. Did you see they were fishing? I did. Looks great. It looks fantastic. I will probably be playing it. It looks I'm the most interested in this Kirby game of any Kirby game in a long time.

I'm very excited to see the transition into the 3D world now that they've tested the waters and Star Allies has been the proving ground, not to mention a couple other little, little bits here and there. And what I like as well is in that trailer, you get to see like a bunch of fun dreamland, you know, adventuring Kirby, Kerbo doing his thing. But then also they make sure to include in the trailer him walking through the, the abandoned nightmare abyss and also walking through the dead cities and forgotten tundra like he does.

So you're going to have some, some fun dreamland. And then you're going to have dead civilizations. And that's all Kerbo. So, yeah, forgotten land. It, it looks like when it goes to the nightmare Kerbo, it looks so much like near-automata. Kirby Puyamata is unbelievable is about to drop. Make no mistake.

And they're going to like, I'm just, I'm just waiting for a weight of the world cover with. Back again. That'd be great. But again, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. So that's good times, everybody. Please, please look out for Kirby and the forgotten land coming in March. Not wholesome.

Activision fired dozens over harassment allegations. And there's more coming. How many? More. It's 40 employees, disciplined and 40 others since July. Fired 40 and disciplined 40 as allegations of harassment and other misconduct. And other misconduct according to the reports. Hey, here's a fun sentence.

A summary of the personnel action that the maker of Call of Duty World of Warcraft and other blockbuster games has taken was scheduled to be released before the winter holidays. However, CEO Bobby Coddick delayed the release, arguing it would make the company's workplace problems look even bigger than they were known to be. So good on them for firing these people that they knew about the whole time and disciplining others. However, there is a really interesting thing that I've been thinking about since I sent this article to you, Willie. They wanted to put out this press release before the holidays, right? Isn't it weird that it's such a clean number? It caps off right at an exact zero. Isn't it weird that it's 40-40?

Precisely. Like a statistician told them that that was the minimum amount they had to cut for public relations reasons. I got another clean number for you. What's that? 700 reports of employee concerns of sexual assault or harassment or other misconduct over the past seven months. In some cases, separate reports about the same incident quoted from people familiar with the situation. Great. So, yeah.

Hey, do you want to piggyback? No, you know what? Let's wait. We'll wait on the math on the other one. We'll wait on the math. But that's okay. All that's said and done, in conclusion, Lego Overwatch will not be happening anytime soon. People are running their math.

700 over a six-month period is like more than three reports a day every day. Keep that. Keep that. Put that one up over here. All right. Just stick that on the board. Keep that in mind. Keep that in mind over here.

Put that over there. All right. Cool. Yeah, wholesome. Wholesome. The purple PS5 controllers are out. Yeah, mine's getting shipped pretty soon. I'm super excited.

They look great. Hell yeah. This is just a consumer slut moment. But dude, I love purple. Yeah. And I love those purple controllers. Yeah. And now I can have a controller that I say is purple and no one can fight me about how purple it is because the name of the controller is purple.

If you want to get one of those new color controllers, if you want to get a dual sense, you can get them as of today. That's great. There's also a pink and a kind of minty blue that's coming. But the purple one looks sick. I want the purple. I love purple. It says it's set for release on the 21st on Friday. I hope I get it soon.

I love purple. I'm a big fan of purple. I like green. It's a good color. I like purple. Hell yeah. So everybody go. Deep greens real nice.

Go check that out. Go check that out. Get that purple dual sense. That's cool. It's called purple. Yeah. No one could fight me on this. Not wholesome.

What's not wholesome. According to the Google translate of the headline of this French news website, sexual harassment is very heavy at Ubisoft. C'est très lourd. I want to I want to point out that the the actual article's title is as my sexuel du très lourd chez Ubisoft. It's a fairly accurate direct translation. Period.

It's very much literally at Ubisoft. Very, very heavy. Very heavy. Very, very heavy. Very heavy. Okay. What kind of numbers are we looking at over here? All right, so there's a lot that goes into this article and a lot of the articles over

the paywall about how everybody's the fucking pile of shit over Ubisoft. But there's one number to pull out. There was an extensive employee audit of its 20,000 employees in which you could respond to a questionnaire about the state of sexual harassment at the company. 14,000 out of 20,000 employees approximately responded to this. And of those 14,000 Ubisoft employees, 25% of them says that they had either been direct victims or personal witnesses to sexual assault or harassment in their workplace. 25.

25. One in four. One in four. I know 25% of the people that I know that work there have told me about stuff that they've seen. Yeah. How about that? So that means let's fold it in to the 20,000 number, right?

Let's fold that in. At the minimum, 18% of all Ubisoft employees have been victims or witnesses to crimes. And that's one of those big companies with, you know, as we said, a ridiculous number of employees compared to most game companies. Yep. So what you're describing is a tactical assault crime, like Terminator three situation where at all moments in the building, at any given corner, bathroom, water cooler, there's just these little little pockets in every single Ubisoft studio.

At some point during every single day, there must be some form of sex crime being perpetrated, either a direct assault or harassment or the coverup of said such harassment or assault. Every day, every single day. Yeah. There's also some details in here that I can't quite get to about senior staff. There's a gentleman that is obsessed with wearing kilts at Ubisoft that would routinely force people to check under his kilt that it is a real kilt. AKA is not wearing any underwear so that you brush up against the dick and balls.

Of course. Of course. And apparently I believe they got behind a paywall. So I'm getting it secondhand. Apparently they got fired for selling drugs to the other employees as well. Just straight up drug dealing in the office. You know, sometimes in many cases, 25% can be used to sound bigger than you would think. Let's say you're talking about a group of eight people.

Yeah, like two of those people suck. You'd be like 25% of that group's a pile of shit. Damn, right? That sounds like a lot. It's like, oh, effectively that becomes the two out of eight. But when I'm looking at this and it says that 14,000 of the 20,000, you're operating at such a fucking larger scale. And it's just like, yeah.

How is this much worse than previously reported? You know, okay, 18% of people at least probably 20, 25%. Let's say 25%. 25% of people are victims or witnesses. Okay, we're going to assume the people that are victims and or witnesses are not perpetrators. I think that's a fair statistical analysis. Let's say 50% of people don't do or see shit. Okay.

What remaining percentage of the company is actively predatory? Is it 5% of 20,000 people's a thousand dudes? What I immediately wonder is kind of like, anyway, because based on the way you put the numbers out, it's kind of like, okay, what amount of this is one incident? And then every subsequent level of bullshit obfuscation, defense, move it around. Nothing happened here. Like, does that turn one into like 10 instances? So I'm not a lawyer.

Put my hands up. I'm not a lawyer. However, the general understanding of my understanding of this is that for the purposes of this internal audit cover ups don't count. We're talking direct assault slash misconduct slash harassment slash creep is always shit. Okay. However, in terms of me saying literally every single day a crime is occurring, committing a crime and then taking steps to cover up that crime tomorrow continues the crime forward.

So do people see something every single day? Probably not. Once a week, though, yeah, and half of that week is spent by that dude covering it up or telling people to shut their mouth or apparently I think they fired the head of HR who was also involved in burying this shit on purpose. Just, it's the kind of corruption you'd expect from the police, honestly. And to see this in a game developer is pretty impressive. And it's always at scale, certainly, is the tail of the tape.

It's also, it appears to get worse at scale because when like 50% of the senior staff is a bunch of scumbags that cover for each other, the people directly underneath them can do all sorts of shit and get away with it. The moment you hit a thousand, you've become a massive studio. When you hit a thousand people working at a company on a game, you are now a massive studio and you have a lot of systems in place already established at that point. And if you from the early days have one set up to completely disavow any problems, any reports of any things that's happening to people, if you have a system that is from

the get go designed to like just shift the blame around and eventually dust it off under the carpet, that, yeah, it just gets exacerbated at scale, you know? It's just the more people that join, the more that stays, the more you don't get rid of the garbage that comes in and the more it just enhances that amount. And then that person is going to have that many more people to be that much of a fucking creepo too. So fresh targets, constant, like it's, you know, it's an explosive exponential problem. It's an interesting thing because the video game industry has a relatively unique problem

and that is that people who are in the business tend to burn out conclusively. Like they'll do 10, maybe 15 years of games and then they leave the industry to go do something else. So there's a lot of lack of really long-term built up talent. And this is one of those problems. And part of the reason why your studio is even able to function is because there's always new talent burning to get in and make a game or be part of a game, right, and all that. And one of the things that is, it seems kind of useless now because as much as we complain

about Ubisoft, like their French company, they're beholden to another country's laws, there's only so much we can possibly do, right? The number one thing that you can do complaining about Ubisoft to like, hey, that company's just full of rapers and scumbags is dissuade people from going to work there in the first place is making it so that maybe there isn't that fresh batch of targets every single time. Unfortunately, people need employment and, you know, like gigs or gigs. Absolutely. But there's tons of industries that use similar skills that don't have these exact problems.

Exactly. What it seems like is like for a lot of these cases, we're in the middle of the part where people can collectively be like, hey, don't fucking go work there. Look at this history of trash. People are walking away from it. This place is an awful place to work. You don't want to, you know, like we're in the middle of like these things all becoming well known.

And so the incentive is not the only driving factor behind people's decisions to go work at these companies. Like these stories are, you know, creating a shift in the mentality is what I would say. Like anybody who can work in games more often than not would also have the ability to go work in tech. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

And that's where a lot of people wash out of the games business and go to because they get nine to five regular jobs and their boss doesn't try to rape them. And if you have passion for the thing, then like, you know, depending on, well, it just like you come in with, you know, again, like starry eyed dreams of what's going on. And then at a certain point, you're like, holy shit, I get the fuck away from this. You know, I have friends who fortunately have been able to like exit Ubi and get other industry jobs, you know, and like see an improvement there. But that doesn't apply to everybody, you know, not to mention, of course, things like the

Ubisoft school where like you got the education program that kind of like more or less builds people up to learn and practice in a way that's going to fit right into the, you know, the way that their teams are built. And a lot of graduates are every year available to join the studio. It's like by establishing because Quebec has become a huge center of like, you know, game commerce and industry. A lot of studios popping up, you know, give you a lot of places to go. But Ubi in particular spent a lot of money creating a system where they can always have

new employees graduating and joining on up. What's the name of that thing? Ubi school. Ubi school. Okay. So they they have Ubi school where they get students in there, teach them how the ropes so they can be hired by Ubisoft pretty much. They're mainly taught like the Ubisoft way of developing.

Okay. Do you have a course on Grand Rapid Orientation Office of Management? I have no I aka groom. I don't know what the curriculum. I heard that pot. I heard that that that course was very popular there. I don't know what the curriculum entails. Creating a scab school for grooming employees.

That's like it's a fucking Amazon pipeline to the warehouse. So the thing about it is that like what was a common issue even beforehand before this these like, you know, complaints and these exposed cases and such was just the idea that there would be a list of like, you know, I don't know, let's say 50 graduates, but there are only two positions required. So all the others. What do you got to do to pass? Well, be a good fit.

Right. So that's exactly it. And then. Yeah, exactly. So you can lower and yeah, and you can lower the amount that they get paid and you can just it's a whole thing where it's like, all right, well, 48 people are going to get fucked out of this afterwards. Hope you can land that gig and then go go find go find a level design gig that, you know,

like may or may not be available. And then if you wait too long, 12 months later, you got another group of graduates fucking. That's such a fucking racket. So that's such an obvious thing in the industry for a while. You know what? Do you know what? Fuck video games. I want to quote a new friend of mine that I just discovered today.

I think their their opinion is really relevant here. This is from the talented and smart Raph Grissetti, who says that you can do whatever you want with your life. Video games make a lot more money from idiots and harms the environment a lot more than a JPEG. Can we just can we squeeze a wholesome in? That is the the the art director of God of War telling you that video games are fucking stupid and you should stop buying them, you fucking morons.

Is it and that's wholesome. Stop buying video games. Well, you morons. I I guess if in the context of him coming to defense of Troy Baker is the context. What's great about that shit? Page occasionally or moderately often has grand wisdom to share. And like six years ago, she told me and she's always said this. Don't you fucking trust anyone who says I'm a storyteller.

And sure enough, as soon as Troy Baker is like, why everybody mad at me for NFTs? I'm just a storyteller. My brain just fired off. Oh, there it is. Oh, she's so right. I think the the level of like. What it takes to see to read the room and still push through with each of these announcements, despite the clear, loud, absolute, universal, like, don't fucking do it, man.

That. Oh, well, I mean, I can I can tell you what that is. The incentive like with 100% certainty. It's somebody promised me a bunch of. Yeah, the incentive. And I already signed up and can't unsign up. Maybe it was too early in the process. It's it's it's it's too late for me to back down now.

I didn't think of that. That's a possibility. They're there for. Gotta go all speed ahead because I'm not going to stop getting gigs. What's the worst that'll happen? I'm totally insulated from the consequences of my actions. Wholesome. Wholesome SNK versus Capcom.

Cardfighters clash is now available on the switch. That's great. That game is cool. I never thought it'd see the light of day again, but I'm really glad that it's back. It's fun. You OK? Dude, I'm I'm like completely fine. And then I go to do something with my arm and it's like somebody is hitting.

Yes. Yes. All right. All right. Go get that. Go get that. Cardfighters clash is good shit. It's fun.

It's good. Unwholesome. A second game is reportedly in development at Quantic Dream. Claims are it's based on the 2013 tech demo, the Dark Sorcerer, and has a more humorous tone. Oh, that's going to be great. Oh, yeah. No, now we get the sense of humor. Now we get the joke.

Yes. Do you remember the Dark Sorcerer? Yes. It's the one where there's a Dark Sorcerer trying to summon Satan or whatever, and he's got a little elf and the elf is like his or goblin. That's like his little, you know, minion. And the minion comes in and the minions like doing, doing the black stuff and he's, can you tell he's a, he's a black, he's a black goblin.

He's, he's doing all the, he's Marcus. He's doing the Marcus. Right. So what you're, so what you're saying is that the beholden thrall creature is the black one in this, in this tech demo. That is not inaccurate. Is the Sorcerer like dance for my amusement creature or less, but then it cuts to the set and like they're all actors and they're playing their roles and, you know, so we're

going to get to see the sense of humor. We're going to really get to see the sophisticated writing prowess and, and, and the gags that from the creators of a farting dick in balls comes. I have, I have a, I have an image in my mind of like Danny DeVito, but with like David Cage's face pasted on him going like, no, no, no, that's no good. You got to make the lips real funny. I have an image of a dark sorcerer who's trying to cast a spell and whose little goblins are trying to get the fuck out of their servitude and they want to leave, but the sorcerer's

not having any of that shit. And whenever they complain, the sorcerer cries and runs away, says, you're ruining my spells. And then you could ask the sorcerer, Hey, what are, what's the point of these magics? What are you concocting here? What's the point of these spells? And he's like, no, no, nothing, just, you know, just, just asking questions. Don't have anything to say about anything unless you think it's really cool. Then thank you.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, wholesome. Do you remember the game? God damn it. It slipped my fucking brain. That's no good. This is great. I might, but you know, boy, uh, the, uh, the game. Shit.

Hold on. Just describe anything about the game. First person, first person, you're in a power suit and you jump or valley, valley, valley. Do you remember the game Valley Blue Isle Studios made a game called Valley. First person, um, uh, thing where you, you ran around in like a super suit and you got like super jumps and you did lots of fun stuff. I took a look at it. Wow. Do I not remember this shit?

Holy fuck. Um, I did a one off a couple years back when it first came out and, um, it was cool. It was pretty, it was a pretty cool, you know, thing about having a super suit and grappling and doing some fun stuff. Uh, anyway, so the people who made Valley, which, uh, uh, from a couple years back are making a game called leap, which is a, I mean, that makes, yeah. Okay. Yeah. So it's a, it's a 60 player, uh, multi FPS big battle thing dropping.

Um, and it looks like it looks like it could be interesting. Looks like it looks like it could be cool. Um, I didn't see it specify battle royale specifically. So I'm curious to see what kind of like 60 player modes you're getting 30 v 30, you know, mag style. Oh, fucking man. Got all, you can't not talk about mag whenever you talk about obnoxious amounts of players versus each other. Um, but yeah, seeing, seeing 60 players in a multiplayer environment where it's not necessarily BR. Um, I'm like, it's cool.

Yeah. Sounds good. Um, it's, you know, a bunch of people in power armor doing super jumps, big space weapons, you know, all that, all that shit. Um, yeah, might be, might be interesting. It's called leap. And good old leap. I liked the last game of theirs that I played. So, uh, hopefully this one is good.

Uh, I, I, I also like, I think you can, if it says like they haven't described everything yet, but this says there's yeah, multiple modes that are going to be like designed around 60 players, you know. Uh, so I hope they come up with some, some super fun team based shit. Uh, what if there's 30 people on each team and they shoot each other, but also jumping? That's, that's good. I like that. That's what tribes basically just was tribes ruled. So, but what if there's like asymmetric, like 10 v 50 and the 10 are basic. Okay.

Well, anyway, you know, 10 supers versus 10 versus 50 regulars. And like as each of the 10 gets killed, the remaining ones absorb the powers of the, of the ones that die. That'd be cool. The last one has all of these ridiculous God abilities and you're describing Battle Royale. But no, but it's, but the 50 have to work together. Yeah. So it's 10 v 50, but then it slowly becomes one v 50, but the one gets stronger as the others fall. I don't know stuff, whatever.

Spitball and it ain't all going to be gold, but that could be cool. Fun stuff. You mean more gold? Do fun stuff. Um, and then, uh, let's, I guess cap off with, I don't know. I'm going to call it not wholesome. I'm going to call it on wholesome. Um, the raid remake coming to Netflix produced by Michael Bay set in Philly's drug infested

lands and elite undercover. Philly's the right place. Task force of cartel informants to catch an elusive kingpin. Now don't get me wrong. Clearly the setting of a building, a boss on the top floor and the hero starts at the bottom is very successful and simple and works. Um, my original thing was, you know, go watch it. You know, go watch dread. Dread was good.

Yeah. They already literally did this. It was called. Yeah. Now, and people then get into like apparently both scripts were like right around the same time as each other. And in fact, like the dread script leaked earlier and there's a, there's a whole convoluted story behind it. But either way, the raid exists and the rate is really cool and dread exists and dread was very good. Um, I don't trust Michael Bay.

Of course not. Though I will say one thing. This movie will get mad props. If it's all, you know, Western actors and English people and a bunch of white guys, but then they get to the top of the tower and it's still just mad dog. Oh man. I was mad dog again. I was getting ready to say a whole thing about how the original actors in the raid are getting shafted again. And, uh, you know, it'd be super dope to like let them shine because of how fucking sick they were in putting on such a good fucking movie.

Like it was great and I want them to shine. So when you're remaking it with Michael Bay, that clearly excludes them. But that would be the fucking greatest, dude. You know, because we're not going to get the machete cleanup squad. He'd be much shorter than the actors they would cast, the Western actors. Like he's not a very tall guy and I want him to look kind of just slubby and a little dirty like he doesn't raid. And they go, oh, who's this guy? And they just beat their fucking asses in for like 20 minutes.

And refuses to elaborate, doesn't speak English, doesn't matter. Yes, zero speech. The boss awaits. Damn. God, that'd be sick. Michael Bay would never do it. That'd be super good. Anyway, the raid is good, everybody. And the news of this remake, all it should really do is make you go watch the raid redemption if you haven't watched it. And then once you watch that and you go, oh shit, that was good.

Go watch Dread. And then after those two, then you can watch the raid too. If you want. If you want. It's optional. It's DLC. Raid two is extra goofy because you're watching it and you're like, man, a lot of Yakuza characters are in this movie. But if you want to see bat combos, you got to go to raid two to see the bat combos. Yeah, that's true. You got to.

You're not going to see them in raid one. Not as good, but it's got some unique new weapons. It's a lot less focus. It's got some unique new styles. You know, it's DLC. All right. Let's just let's just. I have another unwholesome unwholesome.

Activision employees continue their strike. Raven software tasks with checking bugs and glitches in war zone. Haven't gotten to work for seven weeks. And the game is falling to pieces. Okay. Hey, what? What happens when your QA team walks because you laid a bunch of them off? Your game just falls apart.

Yeah, 200 Activision Blizzard employees have been on strike for since December 7th. How? And it is it is causing the drive for unionization to spark up. Well, that's that's that's that's the that's what we all sit and wait on. Right. It's absolutely wild that the situation at these companies got so bad that the strike came before the fucking union.

Like no organization. Just everyone's so fed up that a strike starts. Now I'm looking. I'm reading the the Wapo report here and they're specifying as well that most of the contractors are QA. So it's like, man, if anybody is going to get shafted on for an extra long period of time, it's going to be QA. It's the worst.

They're they're like, if whatever take whatever timeframe, however many weeks it would have taken them to respond to programmers on strike, you know, artists on strike or so. Just double that amount of time for QA for them to actually respond. It's wild because we've been watching publicly in the news QA get dumped on for a decade plus because it's the least valued part of the of the pie from the executive perspective, but it's one of the most valued perspectives from the consumer perspective.

Hey, this game's a broken fucking mess. Why'd you ship it like that you morons? You know, it's never happened and I'm not necessarily giving anyone any anyone ideas here, but could you imagine what it would be like if a database of bugs leaked to the public and people saw how many issues were reported, do not fix and ignored that the team actually told everyone about and they were deliberately like no shipping with it. Could you imagine that would be fucking chaos if if the known shipables

came out of a bug database? Like if you if people were to lay eyes on like thousands of issues, you've seen it used to work on it. I've gotten a taste and even the tiny taste that I've gotten has always been you won't is always been. I'm talking to somebody and they're complaining and they're like, I can't fucking believe they're not going to fix this fucking shit, maybe ever. And I go, oh, what is it?

How bad could it be? And then they tell me what it is. I'm like, are you fucking serious? I mean, not to even get into the secondary disaster that would be a treasure map to all the like the weakest links, you know, like all the patches where you're like, oh, there that's what can I peel this off? What's under? Oh, my God, you know, because the act of regression is usually when a bug gets

fixed, you go back to that area and make sure that there's no sign of it still occurring. But there's a bunch of times where knock on effects do happen. And if you can see exactly where the weak areas were, you can, we used to make fun of this term, but halo test around the bug. Someone came up with that and everyone's like, what are you fucking anyway? You could test around the area to see what the, what other weaknesses were caused by that regression fix and such.

So that would be wild if that ever occurred. I would fucking damn, you know, but it never has. Obviously can't recommend it because if you were to be found responsible for leaking such a database, you would be in some serious. No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not at all saying that anyone. So that's the royal you. Yeah.

That's I'm using the royal. Yeah. No, no, I don't want. I don't want to see anyone getting in trouble like that. That'd be terrible. But anyway, yeah, that show would be wild. That'd be fucking nuts. Yeah.

I would love to see it, but I would never want anybody to get in trouble for it. Let's take some letters. Hey, you want to send in a letter? Send it to castlesuperbeastmail.gmail.com. That's castlesuperbeastmail.gmail.com. We got one coming in from gas says, hey, guys, what up, Deer Wario and Waluigi house soap. Deer Wario and Waluigi in 1980s.

Transformers, the movie was full of memorable characters that stuck with the franchise ever since one noticeable bot being wreck Gar. He was introduced about halfway through the movie in a fight scene with weird Al's dare to be stupid. I remember that. Even though Al was just the background music for the brawl, he became synonymous with the character and even voiced him in Transformers animated. Given that there's only two incarnations of this character in film and TV history,

it may be a shit example. But my question is, have you ever seen an actor or musician, etc. become synonymous with the character that they're only tangentially related to in the first place? I can't think of any off the top of my head. Let me think with my brain. Guildford Godfrey in 9-11? Well, Iago was where I go first and then 9-11 comes second.

Oh, yeah. All right. The aristocrats third. Hey, rip, rip for Bob Saget. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That sucks. There's, I mean, the idea would have to Eric Fensler and the entirety of GI Joe forever.

I guess the question is more like, would that like what examples of like that association if there was like a meme or something where they actually came together and got the person to do the thing or so? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Can't think of anything. Remember that time when Juggernaut said I'm the Juggernaut bitch in X-Men, the movie? Yeah, I do.

Yeah, I remember. I saw it. That was like those guys made really funny videos. The dudes who invented the I'm the Juggernaut bitch. What was that? There's the gnaw son video production. I don't know the name of the group. I want to say it was the gnaw son.

And they had a bunch of fucking stupid. My suit is so tight. And then Scott like it's got like fucking. Wolverine just screaming. Ah, my fucking ribs or whatever. Oh, it was Djibouti dubs, was it? But or my way. Okay, regardless.

But getting that bullshit into a fucking movie was that's real punchin above your weight. That's like if we had managed to get like zoo bass into the background of like a G.I. Joe Phil. But I don't know if that was getting him in so much as it was X-Men 3 fucking taking a meme that was active at the time and putting it in the script. X-Men 3 was sitting there going, wow, this movie is a pile of garbage. Let's find anything people like to put something in it. We can dig further.

We can go further. We can go further beyond. Yeah. No, I don't know any examples that exactly fit that profile, but that is a thing. Okay, well, sorry, guys. Sorry, buddy. All right. And here's one coming in from, I'm going to pronounce it Joao.

Hey there, Don Wooley and Pat Panza. Panza means big, round belly like an orb. Not really a question, just more of something I find amusing. The book Don Quixote is a Spanish book from 1605 and 1615 and is one of the pioneers of meta-fiction. You see, the book was published in two parts. On the first, we get the story of a dude who reads so much chivalry books that he gets kind of, that he kind of goes insane.

The equivalent of reading too much, too many light novels and getting Toony B.O. He's the first Isakai protagonist. He's the first Toony. He's definitely the first Toony. His adventures are a critique of those types of narratives and they serve to show who how much rich people can get away with. The interesting second part is in 1615, the writer, Cervantes, didn't plan to write the second part, but at the time, trademarks and intellectual property were a lot fuzzier

in the sense that there was none. So there was a lot of fan fiction published as regular books. And seeing as Don Quixote was insanely popular, people wanted more adventures of this crazy would-be night. There was also a lot of Don Quixote fanfics. One of these books written by someone calling themselves Alonzo Fernandez de Avelanda, Avelanada, excuse me, became very popular. So popular that Cervantes decided to write the second part.

In this Don Quixote and Sancho Panza discuss the existence of books telling their tales of how they're all bullshit except for the original one. And they go on to find a major character of one of the Avelanada books. The most popular fake book to sign a vow to the writer that the book was scum. They then decided to not go to any of the places in that story. This was in the 16th century. So it's sad that the only pop culture claim of Don Quixote is the windmill fight and not the meta-fiction level and other crazy stuff the book pioneered.

I have a weirdly similar story that I just discovered yesterday. You're familiar with the book Dr. Acula? Um, as in- I just like to say it funny. I mean Dracula by Brams. Okay, because I'm like, are you talking about JD's movie? No. Script from Scrubs?

I just like to say the phrase Dr. Acula. I think it's very funny. Okay, well Scrubs literally has a Dr. Acula bit. Great. So now I can't say that joke anymore because then I'll be cringe like Scrubs. Moving on. So you're familiar with Dracula by the Bram Stoker. It's one of the most famous things ever.

It's in the public domain. So in 1906, you know, it's getting translated all over the world and was also translated into Icelandic, right? Which is a relatively obscure language only spoken by the people of Iceland and is apparently extremely difficult to read. It was only in 2014 that it was discovered that the Icelandic translation of Dracula used and read in that country for over a hundred years is not a translation of Dracula. It is the Icelandic publisher's Dracula fan fiction that he wrote instead

and passed it off as the original. And apparently it fucking rules. And no one found out. Well, no, because why would they? Why would you? It's not a common language. Wow. Damn.

And wait, it rules? So Beck, it's good? Yeah, apparently it's really good. So apparently in the 80s, they discovered that the foreword by Bram Stoker was incorrect, right? But it was only in 2014 that they discovered that the reason why it's incorrect is the whole thing's a completely new story. Wow. Damn, dude, the ball.

And that person is assuredly dead and gone. The balls. Oh my God. Well, they got to have a hustle that lasted their entire life and never got caught. They went to the grave going, I can't believe my nation doesn't know that they love my Dracula. I live on an island nation. We have a very small population, and it is my job to translate Sonic the Hedgehog stories into this language. Here is mine.

This is now the default origin. And Prego Shinoshinokai, the hedgehog, is now a canonical Sonic figure. Because I said so just in this one country. Holy shit, dude. Well, here's the thing. It's just great. If it's a good take, then like... Retranslate it in English.

Let's translate that shit back to English. Let's read it. How is it good? Let's find out. Yeah, apparently it's good. Apparently it's more action-oriented. I want to know. It's just a suspenseful.

That sounds honestly like a good excuse for an Ed Wood style movie about the making of that. A nice little self-aware, ridiculous tale of a dude who loves Dracula and gets the gig translating it. And he's like, I could do so much better. They'd never know. And then just fucking commits to it. That would be a fun little... You can buy it on Amazon right now. Hell yeah.

It's called Powers of Darkness, the lost version of Dracula. Hell yeah. A world where 50 shades of gray came first. The gentleman associated with this is one of Vladimir Asmonson. Took it to the grave. God bless. Which I have to say, I don't know if we ever talked about this in the past, but I discovered a couple months ago. Are you familiar with the Icelandic naming convention for last names?

Probably not. It is the absolute nightmare. You ever notice that Viking dudes, it's always such and such son? It's literally their father's first name and the word son. So you don't share your last name with a single member of your family other than your siblings. Okay. Which means that... Fucking family...

Now all that weird incest app, make sure you're not related shit, makes way more sense. Because family names don't exist. This kind of rings the bell, but I don't... Anyway, I fucking do it. I went there and I didn't fucking catch that. Yeah. Huh. Okay.

Well, that's good. That's good. I like that. I like... Ow, I bit myself. I like the bit that you take to your grave. On your deathbed laughing that no one found out. The bit is just for me.

Yeah. Like, whoever killed Jimmy Hoffa and buried where Jimmy Hoffa's at, right? That's a long time ago. They're probably a dead old man, right? And they're on their deathbed gone. They'll never find Jimmy under that stadium. Never ever. Hee hee hee.

I was thinking of D.B. Cooper, you know? Never got caught, not even close. Just fucking dove out of that plane, landed in the fucking forest, peaced out. You know who else never fucking got caught? That fucking Max Headroom dude. Oh, the guy who hacked the... The guy who pirated a bunch of radio stations. Yes, yes, absolutely original.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, man. Fucking got away with it. No problem. Took the bit to the grave. Well, probably still alive, but... At some point, we're going to start hearing the answers to some of these in a couple decades. Yeah.

Anyways, folks, that'll do it. I'm going to go take a nap. Yeah, you go, you boost down. Hey, let me tell you, I've discovered something really horrible about having shaved my face. The dog is now obsessed with licking my face. Oh. I thought you were going to say, now you have to see your face. So, I don't think my face is bad looking by any chance,

but I am routinely, genuinely disoriented by hitting a mirror or seeing the camera. I don't recognize that person. Mm-hmm. I just don't, I don't understand who that is. I feel a sense of disassociation. It's very strong. Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been constantly touching my knot beard. Damn, I was going for the roast and you hit me with a hit of the reel.

All right. I don't, it's weird. Who is this man? Yeah, it'll take a week or two and then you'll be like, oh, yeah, that. So, we all, we all, it'll take a week or two and then he'll all be back. Well, yes. So that's like, so me, like both Reggie and I also like shaved down, just unprompted at New Year, just like same kind of, just, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you, then you feel less fucking weird, but anyway, this man, this man is Greg. That's who this man is. Oh, no, I am Greg now. Oh, no. Oh, no.