Castle Super Beast - CSB 163: Hyperchunnelling

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

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Here we go! Hello. Good afternoon, Willie. How are you today? How are you this afternoon? Not too bad. Not too bad yourself. I woke up at noon and by noon I meant dawn. That's the opposite. Well, it's not the opposite. But I woke up at dawn today. I've been up for hours. It's wonderful. I took a walk. I went and got a cup of coffee. Hey, did you cut your hair? No, it's just in I'm just doing Killmonger mode. Okay, you just you just flipped it. I flip it. That's nice, man. You look good. Thank you. I'm actually getting a haircut tomorrow because this shit is just that should yeah. It's a whole it's a whole fucking thing.

It's a whole disaster. My headphones do help cover some of it. But I mean, what what what's there can be shaped into dignity or no dignity? And I don't know about fully dignified. It's like I think just like it just looks it looks when it's lower. Yeah, it's like when you cut all your hair off, it feels like you've you've accepted the shame of the bold instead of trying to fight it. Now if I had straight hair, like if I had like straight hair, I could grab it and just push it over. And I could have that going on for extra just horrible but I can't because it's too it's too fucking. It's too short. It's I mean, look, you say shame. I use I specifically use the word dignity because I think that's what that's what you

get to operate with because you certainly can't operate with cool anymore, right? So Oh, yeah, that was always me, huh? That's that's not on the table. Patrick cool hair. Hey, so this started going thin before I met you. So so so you're up there now. And if I'm not mistaken, are you not then somewhat close to you're pretty close to Anchorage? I mean, more close than you are. Yeah. So if you wanted to go to Anchorage, Alaska, you could you could you could take some kind of transportation. It would be feasible to drive up there. It wouldn't be like an impossible trek. It could be like a day trip and then you'd stay there overnight. Well, did you know that there's a service that's provided to

get you over there if you needed to get to Anchorage? Public transport and or around Anchorage. Yes, I am aware. It's I believe it's named the Easter Busy. The Easter Busy has been deployed to get anybody to Anchorage who wants to get there. The Easter Busy is available now. It's it's a it's a bus with the Easter Bunny ears on it. And, you know, sometimes public transport's the best way to get where you want to go. Sometimes you and a bunch of your friends need to just all climb into the Easter Busy for the weekend and just see where that goes. See where it takes you. See where you see where you end up and then climb out three days later, as Jesus did. You never quite know, you know,

where the bus is going to stop. But that's the fun part. It keeps happening. But when will we know whether it's like completely, completely on purpose because someone young has started working there and just realized this would be the funniest shit ever. So I'm under versus pure ignorance. I've always been under the impression slash belief that whenever these things happen, there's all like, let's say 10 people had to be involved with this program because it's a shuttle service basically, right? Like there's got to be at least five, 10 people, right? And they probably spoke to family members like, oh, we're going to do this thing, right? Someone along the way always knows. Always. Always. The Italian cars, the fucking the the the the Volkswagen e-busy or whatever

the fuck that was, somebody always knows. And what they do is they go, they put their, they kind of lean forward a little bit and they put their elbows on the table and they put their hand on their mouth and they go, yeah, yeah, that's a good one. But it's just, you know, I got no no no complaints here. But I but I feel as if the like the concentration has been quite high with these snafus in the you know, the last year or two. The the potential for this type of gag has always been there, right? But oh, yeah. But like, I don't know, five years ago, no one announced like the the Kia Skeet mobile, you know, or or or something along those lines where it was just like some slang that was that was unknown at the time by the corporation was then turned into a

massive brand, you know. So I'm going to say it's two things, right? The first of which is the people who are sitting there going, yes, yes, good idea. But they secretly know. 10 years ago, those people weren't in the positions they were in to not stop it. Right. Now there's enough people sitting around listening to to Gerald, the 80 year old executive that comes up with the name and go, no, shut up, dude, shut up. No, it's great. Shut up. Right. And the second thing is that fucking stupid, stupid names for shit has accelerated really fast in the past decade. Like there are more awful fucked up stupid names for shit every day, every day now, than there were in a year back in the 60s because of the the

internet spread on it. Right. Busy showed up in that like one rap song like four years ago. And now it's a word. Now it's such a word that it's tainted USSY into other words. All I know is I'm looking forward to let's say, for example, there were let's say in Chicago, right? I don't know, Piccassini, Chicago, they decided to unveil a super cool public transport tunnel of some kind. And you wanted to abbreviate these words together in a way that could imply that a Chicago tunnel was finished its development. I mean, when you unveil that the channel is now available for all citizens to take in that if they take it, they're channeling back and forth to their various locations. That's an easy that can happen in a matter of weeks.

In some cases, if depending on they work on it and they get tricked into making it with the Elon Musk hyperloop idea, they could call it the hyper channel. Hyper channeling. Yes, hyper channeling in which you can travel one at a time back and forth as fast as you can one at a time. Yeah, one at a time. Very important. Yeah. So, you know, like I can I can see that totally happening within, you know, I mean, a project and it gets announced, they put up a couple words on the board and then someone goes, yeah, man, Chicago tunneling, we be channeling, we be hyper channeling. And then you're and then it's and then they're like, yeah, make the sign, print it out, put it all over the billboards, let them know. I want to

point out to you, Willie, that your example is hilarious, but it's extra bizarre because there already is a tunnel. The tunnel between England and France under the English channel is known as the channel. Is it in fact known as the channel? Yes. It's where the it's where the the climactic third act of the first mission impossible takes place. If you remember that. Is that what that place is called? Yes. Okay. Well, I had always I had always assumed that the sex term in which passing shit back and forth was in reference to English and French people going back and forth to their respective terrible countries. Using a toilet roll, of course. Yes. Of course. Well, there you go. There you go. We got there. We were already there. You you just completely

encapsulated it because even by inventing of a term that was real with the Chicago thing and naming it after a swear word, you missed the part where it was already a real word that just got that got brought down. Like there's no escape. No one can know every word. Yeah. Right. When Sega started promoting the master system and the Genesis, but particularly the master system in in fucking Italy, they discovered that Sega was the most common term you could use for jerking it. So they were like, hey, jerk it to the master system. Nice. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. Well, that's where that's where the concept of like having market research for different places comes in and so on. Yeah, that's that's where like the we hit like a brick to the

face where people from a dozen different countries came out and said it literally means piss or your dick. It's not even slang. It literally just means it's a one to one. It's what a small child would call their penis. Yeah. Yeah. And but you know, we've already gotten past the the jokes of the PlayStation in and of itself sounding like a fucking BDSM bar. All video game, everything always sounds like fucking stupid dumb shit for babies. So. Indeed. Okay. So I don't know if this rings a bell to you, but I got an I got a reminder on my phone today that I set for myself. I set a reminder for myself for some reason. When did I set this? I don't know when I said it, but clearly it was said a long time ago and it's just it simply

says podcast title fart fart baby barf. Now, does that ring a bell at all? Was there some point in the past? No, we were I believe we were talking about the how we can't get nominated for podcast awards because the titles are complete. Right. Or shit garbage. Right. And that eventually by such and such a time, we would have disintegrated into shit like just fart fart baby barf. Right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. That must have been like a year or two ago at which point that I made a note for myself to say by this day, actually put that title down so that okay, good, be confirmed. Good. We'll do it. Okay. Well, technically, it's a reminder for next week, if anything. So. Oh, okay, that's fine. All right. Good. Next week, we got a I mean, I had a situation where this this

dog woke me up in the middle of the night, the other night, and bolted out of bed. I was like, oh, no, what's up? And what had happened is the cat had puked on the floor. And luckily, the cat baby barf was easily dealt with in quick time by this baby. And just a little bit of dish soap and vinegar. Just a little dab was all it took to get rid of the remainder. I hate it. God, man. Fuck. Because when the cat barfs, he's usually barf up half digested cat food. And half digested cat food is close enough to cat food for this guy over here. And he just slurps it up. And then I just clean up the floor a little bit. I've just I've discovered that there's no point in trying to stop him. He smells it and wakes up before me. He's faster than me when there's I'm gonna use air

coats your food. No, I can't be stopped. Like the first like the first part is why do you eat during this podcast? The first part is the revulsion. But the second part is just the resignation that there's really nothing to be done about that. I used to try. You have to believe me that I used to try. Now, I just if he bolts out of bed, I just walk over and get some paper towels. Yeah. Now, that would never go the other way around. Oh, cat. No. Well, first of all, the idea that any animal could beat a dog to eating their own vomit is just absurd. Yeah. Most of the time when the dog barfs, it doesn't even clear his lips. He just manages to divide it back down. Because delicious delicious food.

Anyway, what else did you do? What else did I do? Well, I'm still staying in glorious British Columbia where I plan to do so for the near future. And I'm going to tell you a story about how weird shit is out here. So me and Paige have decided to start eating things we we find at the side of the road as people do out here. As in picking your your own salads and berries. No, that's just that's a different thing. No, what happened was is we was driving. We was on a little drive. And we saw a tiny little check bordering on a lean to on the side of the road. And had little, we couldn't tell, but I had little prices on it. And so we pulled the car over to the side of the road. And at the side of the road, there was a tiny fridge and a little sign that said,

please leave cash on the counter or e transfer us at this email in the middle of the fucking wilderness. And this is what's called a wood stand out here. And the wood stands have the audacity to actually have the phrase the honor system written above the prices. And there was a cake sitting out on the counter, just freestanding. And then we picked up that cake. And here's some of it right now. Yeah. And we brought it home. And this fucking road cake is the best cake I've ever eaten in my life. And I don't know where it came from. Well, I don't think there's a carrot cake. Carrot cake is amazing. I don't think there's anything wrong with the honor system. That that sounds good. How much did you pay for it?

This cake was 40 bucks. Okay. That's a good price for a good cake. It's the best cake I've ever had in my life. It only takes one person to poison that I don't care. I don't care what's kind of that's of course we paid for people like I wouldn't pay for something under the honor system. You take your money and you mash it into a little you said the audacity of the honor system. So I was like, I know, where's this going? The idea, though, that if you had put out a cake on your doorstep and said, please pay for cake, please, would you come back to money? Or would you come back to crumbs? Yeah, well, that certainly depends on where you're fucking doing

that. There was a like open library that was in a neighborhood that I saw that was like, hey, like put books in, take books out, you know, and it was just kind of like, that's cute. I don't know how that works. It's basically, yeah, it's pretty cool. It's just like, hey, if you want to borrow a book from this, grab it. And if you have any books you think would be interesting, just put them in this little shelf. And it's covered from the rain. And it's just a community communal, you know, book borrowing box. It's pretty cool. They also had cheese there. And it's the best cheese I've ever had in my life. Every single piece of food I've found by the side of the road in this province

is the best of its type I've ever had. The fact that these places have a Venmo as well to hook up to this ancient system of, you know, goods and service bartering. Oh, it was e-transfer. E-transfer? Okay. Still, I mean, you know, the fact that you can even do something digital for what is essentially a method of, you know, sales that goes back probably, I don't know, God knows how old. Yeah. And you'll be driving through suburbs and like people with suburbs that have like larger backyards, you'll just see like a cooler on a card table in their driveway. And it'll just say

eggs. Yeah, that's cool. And have like a little price. I imagine if you've got a lot of land, like if you've got acres or something, you know, you can just have like somewhere that's like your house is pretty down this way. But, you know, over by this corner, there's a lot of people that drive by. So you can just be like, let's use that table and put out some stuff. And, you know, I'm sure it's a decent, a decent extra amount of cash that comes in every week to help out. That's cool. That's cool. Mom and Pop style. Everything out here is great. It's incredible. Right on. Also, that's that's the BC story of the week, right, is that people in BC

leave food on the road and it's delicious. There's also like, you know, fruits and vegetables and whatnot, but depends where you're driving, I guess. I have a different story, completely different. I forgot to tell you this story last week, Willie. So I come from a family in which everybody has a dog, right? You always have a dog pretty much, right? So my mom and dad, unfortunately, a little while ago, maybe a year or two ago, their dog named Stella passed, right? Very sad, very upsetting. And my parents do that thing that all parents do, which is like, oh, we're never going to get another dog. And you go, uh-huh, you tap your fake watch because nobody wears watches anymore. And you wait until they

announce that they're going to get another dog, right? And sure enough, I move across the country, they're getting another dog, right? And so we're talking about it. And they're like, they're adopting and rehoming a dog from another family, right? So the dog already has a name. And I don't remember what the dog's name was, but some fucking French shit like Mouffet or or Rock was in or some shit. And they go, well, we're not going to call her that. That's stupid, right? We're going to call her ginger. And okay, fine. So I call back a couple of days later, it's like, oh, how's ginger? And they're like, oh, we're not calling her ginger anymore. And we couldn't remember it. It's too much trouble. We keep making this mistake. And I go, okay, well,

what are you calling her now? Stella? And I go, what? And you're like, we're calling the dog, we're just, you know, we keep, we keep screwing it up. So we're just going to, we're just going to call the dog Stella. Yeah. And I'm like, mom. Yep. Did you, did you fucking name your dog Stella too? It's just like, I guess I did, Pat. Okay, it's more convenient for us that it is for its own identity. Yes. So moving on a couple of days later, I'm talking to my mom on the phone. And she's complaining. She's saying that, well, I'm banished to the backseat of the car again. I go, why? Well, it's like, because, because Stella doesn't like to drive in the car. The dog doesn't like the car. So I have to sit in the backseat with the dogs. So the dog is calm. Oh,

that's a shame. She's like, you know, Stella one really liked the car. And that's when I knew that my parents have lost their minds. Because the fact that the like calling the dog the same name is one thing, but integrating the difference between Stella one and Stella two in casual conversation. Yeah, they've completely lost their fucking minds. I mean, look, a dog will recognize the sounds of the name that you call it after a certain point in time. And ultimately, you know, it's, it's whatever. But there's just this idiot response to the word Bupus now. Bupus, come here. Yeah, yeah. But there's just a column, Mr. Bupus all the time. But there's something that's just emotionally dark about just, you know, like, I mean, there's also the fact that the dog was

acquired the day before me and Paige left Quebec. So the dog is Stella two, but it may also be like Patrick two. Like there's a thing, you know how like there's a thing where they you know how they're like, you don't name a kid until it's out in there and healthy, right? Yeah, you you can, you can like you have like some leeway for a little while even like a couple days. Yeah, right. And that's that's an understood thing, because it's kind of it's kind of weird if something unfortunately happens and then you just go, well, use it again, right? Like you kind of go like, well, people have names individually and they should a bit mercantile. It's a little yeah, you know, so I don't think it's dark around going you're you're you're Tayden for

or like, like, it's like whatever's coming out, it's good, it's going to be a Murphy. And if it's not Murphy for long, then Murphy will come later, but we're but Murphy's coming. It's it's a little bit it's a little bit cold and fucked. So in a lighter sense, like a dog that just comes along to replace the old one, it's going to replace the emotions to be fulfilling and to bring that that joy back. But you should probably still give it some sense of identity and have a separate name man. Like the full on name replacement is like, you know what it is? It's it's when the it's when the old house help gets fired or get leaves. And then the new young help comes in. And then you just call her the same late name as, you know, yeah, it's like, oh, conchita, you know, it's like my

name's not conchita. No, your name is conchita. And I just sidestep that shit by in between us. Like, it honestly sounds like an old Willem Grace bit. But like, I can't remember the name of the guy who I talked to at my bank, like my financial advisor guy. So we just call him banker. If we need to talk to each other, there's banker, there's accountant, there's lawyer, like, I don't know, I can't remember their fucking goddamn white collar names. So fuck it, I need to talk to the bank man about my bank money, or whatever. But there's there's a difference with with a pet in the house that's, you know, again, like it's, it's for your own comfort. So here's the really stupid thing. The dog looks nothing like Stella. Of course not. And but here but the problem is

that like, this is and this is like the lightest end of that level of just like, I'm old and tired, fuck it, that dog Stella. But if you were to take that situation and add more money and more crazy, you can then you can see the through line straight to Barbara Streisand cloning her fucking dogs so that the pets are perfect copies of that first one as they are standing around the grave of their originator. Now listen, cloning your pets is a little weird, but I mean, you don't get the same pet. I think that's the the thing people don't understand is like, yeah, of course not. The genetics is one thing, but like the in utero stuff and the kitten stuff and the puppy stuff or different animal. It's just it's going to look like your previous dog. But either way, that's

certainly not what Barbara was going for. Barbara was going for I want my immortal pet to continue living and these want you to stop looking at it. Photos of it on the internet, clearly. And furthermore, I'm going to create three backup bodies so that should any of them fail, the sole transfer can still succeed with the healthiest one. Yes. Yes. You know, so your parents are a few steps away from that. They're they're old and they're sweet. They're doing their best. They just want a puppy. Okay. They miss having a dog around the house. And also, I'm not going to be visiting for at least a couple months. I'm still in the settling process. So Stella two is running around Borken

and that's that's fucking weird. Let's see what I got. I got road food. How speaking of two's how's Dota two? Okay, we're going to go right into it. Okay, so video games. Oh, I'm sorry. Was there was there? There was not. Okay, that's why I have I have I have a napkin here. Okay, things written on it. If you want to dance or you can dance. I mean, let's see. So now that I'm sitting at a desk, right, and I am sitting in a place in which all the text issues that you and I have both dealt with for a long time because of televisions plus computer games are now gone. There's a bunch of games, particularly master keyboard games that I can now play without issue. So I figured let's go give it a shot like I'm also going to play

frostpunk and there are billions this week games that had text issues on my old setup but don't have issues now. But I decided to try out Dota because I tried out league. And but Dota never had the accessibility stuff that league did with increasing tech size or anything like that. So I'm okay. Let's see. Dota two is the originator of the movers. And it is completely free. Right. That's that's its big claim is number one is that it was the originator. Number two is that it's completely free and diving into it was totally fascinating. Um, and I really could like, haha, will he only understands things through fighting game like terminology? It's the only way I could think of to describe it to yourself in to to myself and to

the audience as I was playing it. Okay. So if league is Marvel, Dota is virtual fighter. Okay. It is it is less flashy. It is more fundamental. It is 1000 times more complex. And just feature upon feature upon feature upon feature upon feature to the point where like, why does this exist? Is it the purest form of what league was trying to streamline? Yes. Yeah. No, no streamlining here. Apparently it's been streamlined for, you know, a long time over the years. But a good example is in a normal fighting game, when you go to throw somebody and they want to take it, they hit the throw button, right? And that's how you take a throw in virtual fighter. The way that it used to be is that you would have to mash out your throw

escape per direction in the throw window to hopefully get to at least a 50% chance of taking the throw. In league, when you buy items from the store, they show up in your fucking inventory when you buy them, because you bought it. In Dota 2, when you buy an item, it needs to be shipped to your character via courier, which exists as its own unit on the map and can be killed. When you buy an item. Yes. Why? So that if the enemy team sees your courier, they can kill your courier and deny you the items you bought. What kind of items are you buying? All the all the upgrade items that allow you to blank increase your stats, give you health regen. Okay, not all the not cosmetics necessarily.

You're talking about like no, no, no, no, I'm talking I'm talking about in game advantageous. Upgrades. Yeah. In game upgrades. Okay. Okay. Whoa. Okay. Okay. In league, when you click with your mouse and you click right click on an enemy, your character will shoot them or move towards them and hit them. In Dota, when you right click on an enemy, your character, because it's based off Warcraft 3 needs to turn in place and then shoot them, which means part of the balancing process is how fast enemies can turn. Right? How can you turn on a dime? Can you not turn on a dime? Okay. And easily, the most obtuse and I'm giving you the tiniest scratch of the surface. The most

fucked thing that I've discovered is the deny. So you know the last hit when you get the last hit on the little minion on the other team, you get gold from them? I don't know. Okay. So you know how there's the two waves of minions that come at each other? So the early game is called the laning phase in which you and somebody else in your lane are poking at each other back and forth. But what you're going to try and do is as the minions fight, you want to get the last hit to kill them so that you get gold from the kill instead of nothing. Okay. When they die. Okay. Right? And so you're constantly both like juking back and forth with the other player, but also trying to last hit all the enemies. In Dota, not only is there the last hit, there's the deny,

which is killing your own enemies before they have the chance to be killed by the opponent. Okay. And you can do that remotely? You can do that by you hit, you know, A, to be able to select friendly units. And just you can so you can select something that's about to be last hit and then just sacrifice it and kill it yourself and you don't get anything and they don't get any experience. Okay. Yeah. Wow. And just mechanic on mechanic on mechanic and it's just they have a five page eight step per page tutorial when you start the game, which goes through videos, asks you to watch matches, go through each possible type of mechanic, and it's very exhaustive and it's appreciated. And on top of that, Dota gets to live in a weird psycho universe in which

do you remember me describing I had to use a third party application to figure out how to build characters and league in Dota. When you go to the shop menu, there's a guide button. And when you hit the guide button, all the community guides are there for your character. And you click them and it just it's built into the interface. It's not a third party program. That's actually built into the game. If somebody like if you in a fighting game term, if somebody picked fucking, you know, Zangief or whatever, and you didn't know what to do, you could go to community guides for Kami and then it would say, fucking play dolls. And yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. Right. And that's all great. That's all

fantastic. It has tons of usability options has tons of great things. And it's great. And the game is longer and it's more involved and it's a ton of fun. And the community is 10 times worse. 10 times worse. Okay, so you did a bunch of solo queue games. Mike off. I played a bunch of games with the Pete with against bots. And then when I was streaming, I went and muted all chat muted all voice because they has built in voice chat into the game. You hit G you start talking. Okay, just turn all that stuff off. And everyone was saying dude, turn that off. You need to be able to hear people for strategy. People stream this game all the time. It's not a big deal. And to which I said no, no, no. And as soon as I was playing by myself, literally as soon as I started

to play by myself and turn that off, every game had the one guy in it who is telling me that it is a reportable offense to queue into games if you're a new player. Because you're so bad. Just quit dude, dude, just quit. Dude, just it's I'm going to report you for feeding. You shouldn't be in here till you've watched 1000 games. Just quit. To which the response is, are you just telling me to disconnect so that you don't get the disconnect penalty? Oh my god. To which point that person and everyone else on the team goes, that's exactly what he's doing. Wow. He's trying to convince you to leave so that he can leave without penalty. First person to leave takes the hit. Everyone else fair game. Okay. First person to leave takes a hit. I don't think they can play for a couple

hours. God damn. Okay, that's toxic. That's pretty. Yeah. It is. Like, and once it once it became clear that I wasn't going to leave, instead started the most obnoxious back seating I've ever encountered in a game. And when I say the most obnoxious back seating I've ever encountered, I'm including every chat I've ever played with every every every time I've ever played anything on stream and chat is being a bunch back seating assholes because Dota lets you go to the scoreboard and click on your teammates profile and see how much gold they have and what items they currently have equipped. So you can literally click on somebody and go, Oh, you need to buy BKB and you go and chat. I don't know what that is. What is that? And they go, Oh, right. It's this right by it. And I go,

I don't have enough gold. They're like, Well, then start last hitting. Like I'm trot like, so this game does it is the worst. This will this game doesn't have that coaching system, right? It does have that coaching system, which I was told by people who know better that if you want the worst experience possible, you go ahead and go into that coaching system because that's like asking one of those people to just talk to sit there here. Why would they opt in for that though? Like the idea you get stuff. God damn it. The incentives you get stuff for okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because because on paper and I've said this many times whenever we've discussed it, that sounds incredible because by nature it seems like it would lean itself

towards people who are going to be helpful that don't mind helping new people. It's dude, it's it's the okay. So I think I told you about this a long time ago and it was in the FF 14. It was called the mentor. The mentor system. And they made one mistake and the mistake was is they when you became a mentor, it puts a little crown next to your right, right, right, right. Just a little reward. Like that's it. And it went from being a good idea to being one of the worst ideas they've ever had for that game. God, what can you do to attract nice people? Nothing. You can't it just has to be it just has to be its own reward, I guess. If I remember correctly, when they put in the coaching system, it had no rewards and they couldn't get people to use it.

Yeah. Because there were too few people who thought it was worth it to just do it for its own sake. So they added rewards and it became very popular and they viewed that as a success. But the people are doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Man, incentives are such a fucking. It's such a hard thing in game design. But I'm also so fascinated by this. Like this is so interesting to me. Like what little knobs can you tweak to attract the right person to this feature and keep the shitbag away? You know, you really it can't be anything. But if there's not enough people that that are down to do that for no reason, I mean, it's got to be something where like there's a way to get whatever you're getting. Like let's say it's like, I don't know some small

amount of experience or something. It's got to be something where you it's it's inferior to some other more direct like way to gain whatever you're gaining, like some more combative way or something. So that the person who's an asshole that wants to get the thing the fastest has that road. But if someone chooses to be a mentor, they're not getting nothing for it. Maybe they just get a smaller amount of something that's easily obtainable elsewhere. You know, I don't know. So it's very interesting though. I'm starting to come to the conclusion. I felt this way before, but I feel much more strongly about it now that the reason why Dota is so fucked up and toxic and why League is so fucked up and toxic to a lesser degree. I mean, on that one, it's really easy. You have to buy

Heroes and League. So you have some level of investment. So you don't want to lose it after you. Sorry. Sorry. Rating system. You get rated as a good teacher and that has to be given by someone who had a good experience from you. Therefore, the reward is not going to be guaranteed if you're an asshole. But if you're a good teacher and they like what you help them learn, they can go, Hey, this person's pretty good. I recommend them. And that's that's the crown you get. So that is in Dota. The prestige comes from the student agreeing. Doesn't work. Really? Yeah. Well, one, you can boost it because it's free. So people can just do it. Fakily anyway. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, they try to get around this and that's the right road, though, somewhere down that line. Right? Yeah. Okay. So how about this? Well, what if to play in ranked, you had to associate your real phone number with your rank so that if you were an asshole and got banned, you would no longer be able to use your real phone number. Oh, you can make a Google phone number. That's nothing like if you're boosting to get that crown. I mean, it feels like, you know, it like, I don't know if someone comes along and has to play through a full ass slow game of nothing and then just go, Hey, yeah, you're a great reviewer. Like, I guess that's a lot of work for nothing, though. You know, apparently the only thing they've been able to do that actually stops

smurfing to some degree in ranked is that when you load up Dota, it might be the most intimidating thing I've ever seen in my life. You must clock 100 hours of games to enter into ranked at all. Gameplay. Like, yes. Okay. Okay. Jesus. Right. Yeah. So that's the game itself kind of having that attitude to some degree. Right. The game itself is also telling you you're not ready for this. Get the fuck out. And what that leads to is when this dude is screaming at me for being new because he has 7000 hours. What is he doing being match made with with me? I go, then why aren't you playing ranked? Oh, you're in casual match. You're in player match. Yeah, I'm in on ranked player matches. Right. Otherwise, this couldn't happen. True. I thought you were playing ranked for a second.

Right. Okay. Yeah. No, why, why are you so right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I have but I've come to the sorry after you know, I'm you mentioned it earlier and I'm super curious. When you kill a courier, how badly bad how badly does that set you back? Is that the difference between like literally just losing that entire phase of the game? No, no, I believe the courier will respond, but it responds like minutes later. Oh, you don't just lose all your money and get nothing. No, no, no. Okay. It's just you've you've delayed it by two minutes because that can be okay. Fine. All right. Go on. I can only come to the conclusion that it's the design that makes people this way, like the way that these games are designed is specifically tuned to make it the most frustrating

experience conceivable for people who really want to win. And the way that I can break this down is I'm a brand new player. I've played some bot games and I played on stream and I did the the tutorials, right? And I load in and it's all pick unranked, right? So it's whatever goes, basically, right? And so the the four guys on my team are talking about what characters we should have and what types of characters they should have, right? And everyone picks their characters. And they say we need a carry, which at this point, I'm not super sure what a carry means, right? And someone says CK is a carry. And we'll be fine. This is the point where I say, hey, guys, just just let you know, I'm new here. Apologies if I don't do wear it very well.

To which they respond with, oh, fuck. And one second later, the match starts. And they say, CK has to go north. And it takes me a minute to realize they're referring to me, who's playing Centaur King, because I don't know all the goddamn acronyms. Yeah, okay, okay. And I and I now realize that I think we may have lost from before the match started. And I think they know that as well. And I think and and if you leave in what ended up being a 48 minute long game in which we lost every step of the way, you get a penalty. And so this guy who is an asshole is suddenly locked into almost an hour. As we mentioned with League, yeah, guaranteed loss because I'm new. Of course,

that'll make you pissed off. Of course, that'll make you salty. Okay, now here's here's the question because I like that sounds pretty shit. Is there like it sounds to me like what you're doing, which is starting a game and playing casual matches to learn the ropes is the normal expected route towards learning how to play the game. Was there some step you you were supposed to take before that even outside of just go stare at match footage? Okay, so there's three, there's three ways here. One is what the in game tutorial tells you. One is what people who are unkind tell you stick to pee that the third is the reality. So the first thing is that the tutorial runs you through most concepts, asks you to watch one game, asks you to play

co op games versus bots, asks you to play a real game, etc. And then says go at it, do whatever. The, let's call it let's say Grog Nard demands that you watch 100 matches and that you know how to play the game. Yes. Exclusively through bot matches before you go into unranked pub games. Yeah. And the reality is that bot games are not popular. It takes a long time to queue for bot games because they're so unpopular. And the the generalized advice I was able to cobble together was do all that stuff, play bot games until you feel comfortable enough to turn play a real match and then turn off the ability for humans to speak to you. And maybe never turn it back on. Okay. Okay. Because it seems very reasonable that and again, take your FGC comparisons and put

them in as much as you want or don't. It seems it seems very reasonable that like your steps after doing the basic introduction and tutorial in the game would be then to start playing it casually. And the point of having a casual mode is a for new players to get learn the ropes and be for experienced players to try new things. That's that's the point of not ranked for a reason. That mode in every competitive game serves that purpose. So so folks point out that I have a friend. I've mentioned him before Vell Cool Lightning. Again, I load up Dota and all of a sudden he's there saying like oh yeah, don't do this. I'm like what do you have 10,000 hours in this too? Sure enough. Yes, he does. And one of the folks people say is like oh just get your friend to

teach you to play Dota. Dota is a lot better if you play with one at least one friend, right? Like a duo partner. And don't you have friends from MMOs or don't you have things? I was like here's the difference is that by the time I get to something like this, everybody that I know that knows how to play these games doesn't want to play them anymore because of their experience playing with all the other people who play these games. Okay, it's like there's just no pathway to being new. Yeah, like it's it's certainly hard enough and bad enough. And I mean, God, I've got a career built on the idea that when you start playing a very fun fighting game, you're going to lose a lot and that'll

feel bad. And a lot of people are going to have a hard time getting past that point. To have that experience happening to you anyway, while a teammate is yelling at you for not being good enough, when it it could have been a toxicity is 100 times worse than enemy toxicity. I can't fathom that. It like one of the other problems is that and it's a strength the fighting games have and it's a strength that a lot of shooters have. And that is that their life span is five years, maybe if they're really good. Oftentimes it's two years to three years, right? In some cases, I could have been matched up in an unranked game with a guy who has known everything there is to know about Dota since before I started my career in the internet.

Right. Like pre, pre original Kirby video. And for me to come in and go, what the fuck is BKB? How do I buy a different item on the shop? There's only so many thousands of times you can encounter that when you're just trying to play your game. Yeah, that that gets frustrating. Now, I would never like the idea of recommending someone go study match footage like is to me in a fighting games case, I'm like, look, man, you do that when you know and care enough to want to do that. But anytime in the getting the anytime you're doing that in the like getting your bearings phase, it's it's ridiculous. Oh, yeah, dude, if I went I went and watched a match and I was like, that's cool. I don't know what a single character is doing is doing.

Why? Why did this guy just decide to stop laning and go creep? Then? Yeah, what is that item? How did he pull that item from there? Well, the impression you're giving me here is is a is that this is going to kind of be another category where at least to me, I would never consider this without having friends fill all teammates lots. This would be a friend one like legitimately at least one and then turn everybody off. It is it is a it's a mix of impenetrability, like genuine impenetrability. It's one of the most complicated games I've run into in my life. Um, and you learning is ruining another person's day. Yeah, yeah, like not just in the abstract, like I'm well aware that I'm like the only guy on the team that is just getting eaten up and

feeding and I'm doing my best. But it's just and that's not a good feeling in and of itself. I'm not just losing for me. I'm losing for four other people. I mean, even like, I feel like even if these toxic people were to tell you like, Hey, go queue with a friend, that's the best way to do this. It'd be a helpful part that line, the part that actually hurt my feeling was that one of the guys in that chat were like, Oh, don't listen to him. It's fine. But near the end of the game, he's like, Hey, man, maybe you want to go check out some match footage before you re queue again in like a really nice way. But I'm like, Oh, Oh, the night condescension, like, Oh, no, that's yeah. Oh, no, no, you can't like,

like you can't you can't dump people with match footage homework as the how do I play this game answer a certain note. But like, it's going to be my second match. That's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. Oh, man. But yeah, no, like more more than anything, if there was like a single thing, you could change a single thing you could change to cut down on toxicity on these things. It is match time. Every single second that you are in a match that you know you have lost is just rolling boiling fury. So there isn't even a surrender option in Dota like there is in league. Oh, you all agree to pop out in league. If the majority just decide we're just going to give up, you can just forfeit and that counts as a proper loss and you're out in Dota.

No, play it, play it to the end, no matter what. And there's no separate queue for people with like training wheels, right? There's no like, Okay, you're in your first 10 games here. We're going to queue you up with other people. Supposedly that's supposed to be the queue I picked, but MMR will MMR matchmaking will prioritize getting you into a match faster than getting you in a match with the same people around the same skill level. Okay, right. Because if it's a popular enough game, you should have in theory a pick of the litter to end up with people that are, you know, in that initial bracket at the very least, but it doesn't sound like that's what happened in practice. It's like back when this game was new. I can imagine that it wasn't that big of a problem.

But the average level of play is maybe for me two, 300 hours away. And the idea of persevering through two, 300 hours of play while being like, negged by my fucking teammates every step of the way also has no appeal. Also, if there is a divider there, but someone is smurfing and being that toxic of like, oh, yeah, fuck everything, like you're not even supposed to be. So what are you, why are you yelling about the integrity of laps in the kiddie pool? You know, so one of the interesting things is that they because Dota is free smurfing is a nightmare. Yeah, right. So what they do is they had the restrictions on ranked the 100 hours and such and apparently that cuts down on smurfing quite significantly once you get past that first rank.

But what it means is that the unranked queue is an absolute smurf pit. It's people who will just play tens of thousands of matches and never leave the unranked queue because they don't want to have to deal with actual matchmaking. I mean, so the only option available for the new player is to be forced into the sharp pit instead of the kiddie pool. Yeah. Like the kiddie pool starts at our 101 minute. Yeah. And here's the thing. And the thing is, too, is that like once you're playing ranked, like then that nice guy is going to also become that toxic guy because it's ranked, right? Yeah, like that's where it gets serious and real and especially like. If I was playing ranked, here's what would happen. I would fail every single fucking placement match,

right? Yeah, get kicked to the absolute bottom of the pile in which even though I'm going to run with smurfs from time to time, my other average player is going to be approximately the same skill. So at least get to feel like I'm playing the game when I would. So I didn't even talk about this. When you dive into unranked fucking whatever, I didn't get to play the game at all, dude. I might as well have been an NPC fucking XP machine for the other team. I didn't know what they were doing. I got blown up in every engagement. And then the level difference showed up between us and the guy in my lane is five levels higher than me. And I can't do anything. Like the once once the item and level differential becomes high enough,

I could sneak attack him and do all my abilities perfectly with all of my shit perfectly. And guess what? He still has so much more HP than me. He'll win no matter what. These sound like really these sound like bigger issues than leagues. The ones you mentioned with League were predicated around you still being able to play, you know, they're there. The difference with League is that it's faster. That's it. That's it. And Dota is very snowbally. This is why I don't know if you you played like three matches of hots to get that overwatch. Three matches of hots. But one of the things about hots that was specifically meant to solve this is the team levels as one in hots that there is only the team level. And so when when it snowballs

and hots, you just fucking lose because the other every one on the other team is is stronger than you. So you just lose. Instead, in the Dota matches I played, the people were mad at me. We were in this situation where even though we were five levels underneath the weakest guy on the other team, because the towers and minions are strong enough, it still took them 18 more minutes to beat us. A match we couldn't have won and couldn't forfeit. Oh, man. Yeah. So I'm sure that there's fun to be found like once you put the work in and you like what the game is asking you to do and fulfilling those roles. Oh, I fascinating. I just thought that so there's so much depth and it's it controls well and looks good and feels good. It feels great to play. And there's it's a great game

that you unfortunately have to play with other Dota players who are also playing Dota. And I just kind of assume that anything that is like like, you know, like anything that is on the profile of League of Legends or Dota to the video game industry, like massive empires of the industry that are like, you know, they're there. Huge amounts of attention and revenue and player bases and massive communities, all of that. I would assume that after X amount of years, decades, that like these games will have created some of the most sophisticated onboarding systems any video games would ever have. It's really shocking system is absolutely completely very sophisticated. Okay, all the okay, all the tutorializing. But the because of the game's

extreme depth and team nature, the the the end of how much can be onboarded and the beginning of the real game is still a violent transition. Easy. Yeah. Okay. And it's filled with people who actively resent you for getting into it. Huh. Fascinating. That's fascinating. And here's and here's the part that is like the saddest thing. The saddest thing is that League and Smite and heroes of New Earth and Hots and Dota, there are two games being played. There are two games. One was the game that I played last week on stream. And the other game is if I had managed to convince Vel, Justin, Darius, and creepy porpoise to join me in a five stack in which every person on the voice chat team was

a friend of mine. And we're just playing the game and can't hear the other team. That is such a completely different game that it might as well be like a sequel. And I know this because that happened when I played Hots. There was a brief time period in which everybody in my Final Fantasy 14 discord played Hots. And we would always, always, always fill up a whole party. And that was such a fucking wild difference between solo queue, even in that game, that it might as well have been like a different genre. Wouldn't somebody who's because the way you and everyone I know has been playing 14 has been part of a guild as a group with that communal experience as well. Wouldn't someone playing 14, which is, you know, a great game, but doing it

solo entirely also have like a really negative experience by comparison to the one that you guys have on a regular basis. Okay, so here's here's the reality of the problem, not just solo queuing versus queuing with friends as a concept in everything. No, and here's the difference. This is the most important part. In FF 14, your main story and let's say half or more of your side content is designed to either be completed solo or with pickup groups, known as pugs, right? No problem, right? Oh, I want to do this old EX trial will unsink it, you go in with five people, bing, bang, boom, it's done, right? Oh, I want to do the Alliance raid, which just came out like last weekend is fantastic. You do it with, you know, a couple of your buddies or nobody solo, whatever,

you'll be the group of 24 will muddle through, right? So most of that game is meant to accommodate somebody who doesn't necessarily have a social group associated with it or friends that play, you can either play solo or let's say acquaintance ish, right, using party finder using, you know, the tools in the game. It does turn into a different game. Once you get to what's called savage rating or ultimate rating in which it is high skill, perfection or pseudo perfection needed, like high skill activities that require a lot of teamwork, pretty much mandate voice chat, right? Stuff like that. The different, basically, once the content becomes hard, maybe five to 10% of FF 14 lives in that space, right? Okay, even though I have that social group

and some of my friends like Val, who I mentioned earlier, he's got every title and every weapon from every ultimate because the dude's nuts and he just crushes that ship. I don't play that stuff with them because it's not really particularly in our tastes and also the times that we are able to play together, right? But if you are a dedicated solo player and you have not made any friends playing the game and you decide that you want to get ultimate, get ready for a world of pain, because now you are in the expectation of going into PFs and being just like figured out whether or not you're good enough to join it. Do your times match up? Are you good on communication? How's your parse? How's your this? And then you do all of that only to find out one pull in that

the group that you joined sucks ass and will never clear, ever. And so off you go, back out to the next one. There are people who do all of what's called an extreme trial through Party Finder, right? And the experience of doing that, which is not that hard but hard enough to wash people out through PF means, hey, is this a farm party? Yes, absolutely. We have it on farm, which means you can do it consistently to get rewards. You load right in. Hey, guess what? Three people in here died to the first mechanic. Time to leave. Go find it. I'll make my own. This guy's complaining that we're not using this strap, which doesn't work as good, but this guy can't tell his left and just you're diving into the mass when it's hard. When it's not hard, who gives a shit?

None of that floats to the surface, right? Okay. But when it is hard for about 10% of it, yeah, it matters. The difference here is that for 14, 10% of the game creates this atmosphere, right? With Dota, it's the whole thing. It's the whole game. There's no part of the game that doesn't do this, except, I guess, playing against AI, but that's not really the real game. The AI doesn't make human mistakes. It's not. Because I'm wondering if there's a, like, I'm thinking of the time when I would talk to people about like, I talked to someone who's like, oh yeah, man, I fucking love, I remember Street Fighter 2. And it was like, yeah, right? And that'd be, and you would start talking about it and everyone has positive memories,

but it's like, hold on a minute. What were your memories? And they would invariably be either, yeah, I remember going to the arcade, hanging out and doing Street Fighter 2 sets on the machine, watching people play and putting my quarter up, and that's their experience. Or I played with my friends on the Super Nintendo, right? Yeah. And then moving forward in time, you get, then you get the other two versions of that, which is I play and I play online using bad online netcode and I had bad matches, but that's the way I played it. Or yeah, and I also went out to my locals and I played in a competitive environment with a group of people that were all like super into this. There's four completely unique environments to experience this

game in that are different and some people are going to be way more into one than the other. And in this case, I'm just like, man, I, anything with a team. There's the one. There's the one. There's the way, the way, you know? And anything that is not doing it that way, you got to mentally prepare for how much worse of an experience is this going to be, you know? So one of the things that really stood out to me very dramatically was that when I talked about this experience on Twitter, I saw somebody respond with the equivalent of, yeah, there's tons of stuff to learn in Dota 2 and that makes people toxic, but it's the price you pay for playing the better game. And I hate that mentality so much because I am certain everyone in their

life has eaten at a nice restaurant in which the people at the restaurant were assholes to you and soured your experience. And you have also had a dollar burger out the side of a truck that you ate on a picnic bench. And I can tell you what most people will pick every time, right? The other people are part of the game. It's not a set, the experience of you dealing with the people who play the game in a team game is the game. It's just as much the game as the way the characters move or people talk. If I found out that, like, what's a fighting game I don't like, um, fucking, what's a, if I found out that Melty Blood, right, every time you went to a Melty Blood meetup, there was like milk and cookies and a roaring fireplace and everybody around there was like

just chill as fuck and calm and relaxed. I'd be a hell of a lot more likely to play Melty Blood. You're not far from the truth. I know. Right. Those dudes are super chill. And then if you, if I'm like, man, I love the mechanical depth and character roster of Smash Bros. But every time I go hang out at someone's house to play Smash Bros, I have to check their anklets for monitoring devices. I'm going to be slightly less incentivized to go play Smash Bros. It's, it's, it's, and it's, I'm also, and I also think too that whatever exacerbated issues you're looking at, the more matured that community is, the worse it's going to be. And of course, Dota fucking two is one of the most matured gaming communities of all online games.

So it's, I was in high school when Dota was created. So like there is a set way that you're either someone that was there from the start or you fell in along the way and you just had to learn the ropes and do it, you know. And yeah, I can see it being, I can see the fact that it's so aged being part of that stubbornness too. But yeah, the only real solution there is like he said from the start, it's just like, get a friend, get a friend. Otherwise it's that sounds impenetrable, you know. So you know what ended up being an absolute perfect companion piece to this is FF 14 completely redid their entire PVP ground up completely 100% different. Every single ability in the old PVP thrown away. The old standby mode called feast in the garbage.

It's gone forever. So completely new thing. It's called crystal conflict. It's five versus five. You're pushing a payload and it is functionally a MOBA. Here's the difference. When you win, you get 900 experience for your fake battle pass. When you lose, you get 700. You cannot speak to anyone and matches are a maximum of five minutes long. That's great. Guess what? That's great. It's been a massive success. Everybody loves it. That's great. That sounds solid. Yeah. Yeah, right. Losing gets you just as much. You can't talk to people and you hit buttons and it go big fun and you win and you're like, yay, I did it. Five minute commitment. Five minutes. If you go into overtime, it goes to like maybe six minutes.

That's crucial. That's fucking crucial. You don't even have time to get mad. Mm-hmm. You just go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. If the match is going like shit and you're going to lose, you are already re queuing by the time you would have been mad in any of the other games we just mentioned. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you could have multiple like idle conversations doing a complete match and being like, oh, whatever, next one and just jump right back in. Oh, yeah. And you can't party up. Oh, it has to be. It must be random. Oh, interesting. With no voice chat. Nothing. Okay. Okay. So what they had happen with the old one called feast is you could queue up as a duo and Lord help you if you were a team of four

people that were randoms against a duo because you were going to lose. Yeah. You're like, there's no way around it. You're going to lose. That's interesting because you sacrifice like some people in a in a co-op. Some people like it's more fun to be able to do modes with your friends, obviously, but in a game that's all about that, there's a billion other things to do with your friends. You can have a dedicated mode here that's not and it'll be okay, you know. So interesting. Okay. I really have to run to the bathroom. Oh, I have to go for it. So a quick break. Be right back. Right. The fuck were we talking about? Just the the the new ff 14 pvp system. Oh, yeah, it's good. They've even had this genius idea by having this fancy ranking system

with all randoms where basically all the people who cheat like crazy are all in the top rank where I have no chance of ever seeing them because randoms keep losing my games. Oh, well, there you go. And I'm assuming that there's like no like multiple cues for this type of like little thing or there's no like a high low ranked and unranked and that's okay. Interesting. Interesting. Well, um, that's that's reports from the fucking from the Dota front I see. Yes. Well, do you want to talk about integer bugs? Do you want to talk about QA and the housing crisis because boy,

I have a fucking story for you. So that's in the docket. That's in the docket. Okay, we'll leave that till later. Otherwise, hey, the new patch came out. It's great. It's the best 24 man raid they've ever done. The music's all fantastic. The story is going in interesting places as a restart. All good stuff. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna please stop. Anything else of note this week? Not for me. What about yourself? Well, tell them what you're going to be streaming. Oh, right. That shit. Okay. Over at twitch.tv at stairs at over at 4 p.m. West Coast time, 7 p.m. East Coast time on Tuesday, I'm gonna be streaming the new 2.0 stuff in FF 14 and then I'm gonna stream Frostpunk and then

there are billions and then on Friday, which is my birthday, I'll be just fucking around in Elden Ring. Okay, and that's it. There you go. Over on this item. Yeah, let's see what to go to first. Okay, well, there is nothing surprising about the statement that, hey, Final Fantasy 6 is a pretty good game. I've been really enjoying seeing your episode titles coming out. There's quite a, it's again, fresh eyes means fresh takes means fresh opinions on some of this stuff. And yeah, it's good. It's very good. Tara, I don't care if you gotta spend all day protecting these pregnant teenagers, you got to get out here and we got stuff to do.

Like it's not Operation Rescue Chrono from death and switch his moment of, you know, it's just Operation Poke the Kid and get her out of fucking bed. Yeah. No, good times, good times there. And we're having a fun time with it. The thing, I guess that comes to mind, is like looking once again, because I'm basically going back every now and then to the art gallery section and looking what Amano's interpretations were for some of the characters. Oh, there's no overlap at all. I mean, there's some shape where I'm just like, God fucking damn it. It should have been this way. And one of the most brutal ones was like seeing Sabin in Amano form with a beard is so fucking cool. Like it just matches. And I'm like,

that should have been the design. And it's like, no, wait, that should have been the design one year later, you know? Yeah. It's it's this weird thing where you play enough classical Final Fantasy games and you look at the art that inspired them and you come away with a conclusion of like, why did they even hire Amano at all? Honestly, it's for the actual sprite artists to be inspired. You know, sure, it's to create the right headspace for the sprite artists. Because that's one of one of my favorite things about every game Amano worked on is the ongoing fight between him and every single other person on the art department for whether or not the character was going to be blonde. Yeah, or green. They're going to be blonde. No, they're a

brunette. No, this girl is blonde. No, she's a brunette. And then blonde. No, it's green. And in some cases, like when I first saw Emperor Gestalt, I was like, is that KK Slider like that head with the moustache and floppy sides? You just it looked like a dog. I'm like, that's a dog. It looks like a shitsu. Yes. And then you see the Amano artwork version and it looks like a badass emperor, like a real intimidating dune figure, you know, and I'm just like, oh my god, like the energy transfer here, it just didn't carry over some you do the best you can with the sprites. But sometimes then you go all the way to FF 14 where there's a minion called the Gestalt, and it's a tiny little fucking shitsu puppy with a hat on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. And now now he's

fully immortalized as dog emperor. Yeah, man, the energy conveyed in some of that original artwork, even when it was drawn. And it's funny too, because it feels as if like, like you see the full glory of the characters. And then you see Amano doing the the cutesy SD version, right, the Shibi version of the same design. So it's like, yeah, he also took the extra step to go, I know this is going to be a little sprite on a game. Here's a small cutesy version of this majestic work. And it's like, can you capture that energy? And it's like, we'll try. I think I think we'll try. I think my I think the craziest one for me is one that apparently only happens to me. But I was like 26 or 27. Before I discovered that shadow is not a black guy. Oh, wow. It's a ninja.

Yeah, but like, go look at his sprite and just put your eyes one pixel up and think that his fucking headband is his face peeking out. Wait, what? Look at shadow sprite, his sprite alone. Oh my god, not only that. Okay, first of all, I found the Reddit thread where it says they always thought shadow from f of six was a black guy. And it's pointing out exact. Oh my god. Oh, Jesus. In our final fantasy, literally here, there's a thread that pops up on Google. And they've they've drawn a little description where the mouth is this the part above the the head protect forehead protector. There's two dots where the eyes go and it's and then a do rag or a beanie on top.

So I litter. So here's the here's the backstory for this. When I went I my first experiences with f of six where I would go over my French office, but I never saw what what fucking shadow looked like in the party menu. Oh, Jesus. I only had the sprites to go off of. Oh my god, do rag or beanie eye, eye, mouth that like, okay, that dumb version side one, the side one makes it a lot more obvious what I'm talking about that that dumb version of the art, like it's such a simplified face compared to the other faces. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it would be it would be nuts if that's what they were actually going for. But fine. Sure. I like it just it would be so weird for him to have such a strange lack of facial detail by comparison.

Oh, no. Let me see if I can find the sideway. That's I found it. I found it. You see what I mean? Dude, is it more obvious there? On no, no, it's not to see his real eyes on that thing. Like, even inside view, if you were to say that like, his eyes were the top of the headband, like, then what is that? Then is his neck just this really long, you know, like, it doesn't make sense. Like, it doesn't. No, no, even inside view, it doesn't make sense. I don't know. This is you know what this is? This is the fucking it's seeing the Robotnik machine as a giant face captain video games or whatever. Yeah. Oh, geez. Okay, well, here's the here's the thing. What about when

you pause the game and his profile picture comes up? I only saw that when I played it in college. Oh, my God. Okay, I played ff sex ff six comparatively late. Okay, because I was going to say that like the saving grace or not the saving grace, but something that goes a long way. Once I get a I see a sprite and then they join your team. And then once they join, you pause it and you see their actual artwork that is a sprite version of the amount of work. And then you go, Oh, oh, bad. It is a big crazy hobo. Okay, I get it. You know, um, and or sets are is this, uh, uh, the this dashing maciated weirdo air rogue with with the be she like qualities, but he's totally a weirdo. Um, yeah, it you put it together when you see that portrait art,

you know? Oh my God, shadow. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, in any case, um, game is good. It's just, it's a whiplash to go look at that amount of art. And, uh, what's cool, at least from what I hear is that whenever they revisited this stuff in like the city, they would like pay tribute and like update the designs to look like the amount of stuff, you know, and so on. So like in the city, uh, when you play as Tara, you know, costume one is blonde and costume two is green. Right. Right. And the, and looking at, looking at the art there and seeing it's like, Oh, she's not like a slimy, like wet, uh, xenomorph in trance. Yeah. It's like an energy. It's fuzzy. It's, it's a fuzzy, furry little like, uh, um, whatever, like, uh,

EV style creature, you know? Farrell. Anyway, um, so that continues to be a whole lot of fun. Um, something else, uh, this weekend had a, um, special stream basically since, uh, Reggie was off for the Saturday. I took the opportunity to, uh, take a look at little, uh, Lego Star Wars and we did the youngling combo lab. I see. I see. And, uh, that consisted of, of course, it's, it's never quite as, as straightforward as it seems because you hear about what this game can do. And then you go, okay, but what's it going to take to actually get there? And, uh, in this case, it means like getting the game, realizing like step one, get, get Lego Star Wars, install it. Step two, realize that this is all nine movies in with a bunch of

full story, excuse me, levels that require you to play through them, to progress and then do multiple unlocks of, uh, uh, like extra bricks you're finding to unlock extra characters and yadda, yadda, yadda. How do I get to the fucking younglings? Uh, step one, maybe at the beginning? Uh, no, because you're starting at, uh, the beginning of a new hope. So you've got a long way to go. You're starting on the, with R2D2 and C3PO on the bridge with Leia. You've got to go through all of the movies. They can't do kid combos. Can't do that. So, uh, step 1.5 hit Google, look up that save file and install someone's file that has already unlocked all that shit and just skip all that. Um, so pop that shit in, uh, change the language back

from Russian to English and then, uh, immediately go to Jedi Academy or any other location where a youngling might be. Uh, and then of course, once you've picked your Jedi, pick your secondary character as young Anakin, we'll follow you around anywhere you want to be and go nuts, have fun. So, uh, that was a pretty good time. We got to look into it, the system itself and see how character specific certain combos could be, how the game for some reason has this built-in flexibility to its combos that allows you to even do this. You know, it, it like, it sounds like somebody went above and beyond on their off time. That's a, like someone basically snuck in the fun. You know, someone snuck in the fun by putting in, uh, a launcher when you press jump after

you've started combat. And then once that launcher has started, they put a little bit of extra hang time on some of those aerial swings and just those two things together and allowing them all to cancel into each other allowed for the fun to get started, you know. Um, so you start, you start working and you realize different characters have different move sets, different move sets allow different abilities. Vader is in fact swinging slow and heavy, doesn't have the fast combo ability, but someone like, for example, Shaq T has the ability to launch you up and then do a ground pound that, um, bounces you high enough that, uh, your next attack, which is supposed to be an aerial attack, actually like for some reason a small bug occurs where you teleport up to them. So what it

effectively looks like is you're doing a launcher into air trick and then continuing the air trick combo sequence, uh, which you can then go into a helm splitter. Um, what do you mean for some reason? Someone doing their job specific, someone doing their job might have discovered a bug and might have decided to not report it. That's, uh, you know, and then you fuck around with some of the other characters and you realize it's not just the Jedi's. A lot of the cast have decent hand-to-hand options that are unique as well. So for example, Lando can uniquely do, uh, a couple of ground punches into a shoryuken. Uh, once you've done the shoryuken launcher, you can cancel that into a second aerial shoryu and then you can either continue that sequence, uh, in the air,

or if you delay slightly, you can revert out of combat mode into like initial neutral mode and in initial neutral fighting mode, the combat, uh, the attack button gets replaced with an air laser shot. So you do a slight delay after the launch and then you get an aerial shot which then can ground bounce and you can land and pick it back up. Um, there's fucking tech. There's absolutely tech. Uh, it was great. It was great. This is just silly. It was good. Um, found, found some fun stuff, did some good sequences and, uh, found out how to keep the hang time, especially with like Yoda. Yoda's like really made for floating. Yoda can just like stall out in the air all day. Um, some characters, not a fucking ace combat plane, dude. Some

characters have the ability to do like a falling star, um, that'll, uh, depending on where you land it, it'll either hit directly or the AOE will hit. If you hit directly, it's going to bounce backwards table hopper style and then you'll be able to pause. Depending. Some people can't do anything after that. Others can go into a helm splitter. Um, you know, it just, and there's hundreds of Lego characters. So there's, there's lab to be found here, right? Lots of characters, lots of moves, lots of possibilities. So of course I'm not that surprised when I get a message, uh, uh, from hitchhiker, who's just a picture of his theme saying Lego Star Wars has been added to your account with a message saying, I'm going to make those kids wish they could die.

And then as I start to stream out and I'm going hitchhikers like, okay, so I've already modded in so that the, the lightsaber toss can now become a round trip. And also I've modded in a proper void so that you can just go straight to the lab on purpose. And I'm like, this is what we do. This is what we do. I'm, I'm, I'm loving it. I'm glad that Sun High Legends is making combo videos and putting them on Twitter. Like the, the, the, the action game community is looking into it and they're, they're quite, they're quite satisfied with what they found with Lego Star Wars. I fucking love the mentality and community and the types of silly memes around action games and character action games. It's always so fucking positive and it's always like, it's kind of like

skateboarding. Like almost like, yeah, look at, yeah, you think that's cool. Look, look at this one. I mean, it's just, you're playing a game where you mash buttons and then suddenly you realize that like you can launch and then re stand an opponent and you go, oh, oh wait, hold on. There might be more here and, and it's something a neuron gets activated, you know? And I mean, look, man, it's, it's fucking Lego Star Wars at the end of the day. So, you know, I'm not going to go out there and tell everybody to go spend 70 bucks on the gag. But what I will say is if this is, but at the very least, please look forward to and appreciate the combo videos that hopefully will start coming out and continue to come out in the, you know, over the next little while,

especially as the mods are coming. Put some fucking 99 to 2004 new metal over those youngling combo videos. Well, first of all, when I started playing, I'm not going to get my shit struck by having John Williams music getting flagged. So I had to turn all that Star Wars music off. So there's a whole lot of silence and who knows what we can put behind that when the video comes out. Who knows what. So please look forward to the, the youngling combo lab coming to the channel. At some point, hopefully this week or so. Good times had we were had, we're had. And then I played some tap in on stream just because why the fuck not. I saw that a different creator was also recording their match with you on stream. In fact, two people were recording

their matches at the time that I happened to play against. And yeah, that that that that tweeted it out and went like, Oh yeah, check it out. I was also, you know, thinking I play, I played against William. I was like, Oh shit, that's cool. And in one case, the dude was like, Hey, yeah, you inspired me to get into this game from the last time you streamed it. And I was like, Oh, wow, that's fun. So yeah, we had a really good one. The one that I saw was like, can't respect big green. Yeah. But woolly does a great job explaining the game to his audience. So no hate. That was a fun. That was fun. Because yeah, like you see from their perspective, they're like, Oh God, of course, he's going to do this. And I'm like, Yeah, no, it's pretty cool. We do it over here. You know,

like, I don't know, whatever. We're just having fun. But yeah, that was that was interesting to see both sides of it. And I also like, it's interesting too, because there's these moments where like, for example, on one of those matches, at the end, I kind of, I've done something before where like, if I if there's a chance to come back, but it's very, very slim, it'll oftentimes rely on somebody overplaying, like they'll just be like, the game's already settled, but I'm just going to do an extra turn here. And oh, shit, you gave an offer, you gave me an opportunity, right? And I've just been playing that way because I'm like, Yeah, I don't know, play to win, right? If you can up until the last second, I'll surrender if it if it's like, Okay, absolutely, nothing's

happening here. But in some cases, I can pull a comeback out. So I'll just play to the end. And in the match, like in the video, the other video that was recorded, the player was like, Okay, so it looks like the match is about to end here. And right before the end, woolly is displaying his hand. And so out of respect, I will also display my hand so that we can show each other what hands we had as a show as like a gentleman's kind of move. And I was just like, Oh, okay. And I was like, No, that's, I don't, I don't know any of the courtesy to any of this. That's not what I was doing at all. I was just, Oh, what were you doing? I was just trying to do a last minute thing to see if they would do a move and give me a chance to come back. Like, you know,

like just, I don't know, whatever, stall for time, anything, like, like, there's a there's a definitely a high level tepid like courtesy world or like thing world that I don't know anything about because I don't pay attention to it because I've just done my own thing the entire time. So I feel as if like there's probably going to be some stuff where I'm supposed to do something or not do something and I don't know about it, you know, I had that exact experience this past week where I'm in voice chat with my pals and one of them is just like this. These motherfuckers and PVP were starting it up and they're spamming good match those absolute pieces of fucking shit. And I'm like, I say good match when I start a match. Is that a problem? They're like,

Yeah, you're supposed to say hello, because when you start, that's you saying that saying that the batch is already over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, but they're preselected things and the hello option is hello with a period which reads as sarcastic to me. And they're like, no, no, it's definitely a second match. And I was asked a question by a different person. Do you say GG at the beginning of games? And I went, yeah, I say good game, everybody. Let's have a good game. No, I've been saying that since 1994. No, no, GG is for the end. At the beginning, it's GLHF, if you want to say something. Good luck, have fun. Okay, no, back in the mid 90s, you said it at the beginning and I just

never changed. Again, that's BM then. That is BM, you know. Anyway, so I don't know. I feel as if like, let's have a good game, everyone. I feel as if it's quite possible that I've made it to, like, because there's tournaments as well that you can sign up for. And I feel like it's possible that I've made it to a ranking where I'm like, you know, whatever, like top 64 or top 32 at Evo, but I don't know about handshake culture. Yeah. And I'm just like, okay, thanks, everybody, take care. And I'm just like, dude, no handshake. And I was like, what? What's a handshake? I don't Oh, what? Oh, shit. Anyway, go under and Tara, there's, there's the waving emote that you can use and then there's the put

your palm to your fist, like little respect. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Using those at different times means very, very different things. If you use the respect emote anywhere between the first five seconds and the last five seconds, it's BM. It's very BM. There's, yeah, there's, there's times where you can feel, there's times where you can feel BM, but it's not quite certain if it is like, in TEP and when you do an action card, you have like, you know, whatever, like five seconds of for it to resolve, or you can in those five seconds do your own action card and it'll do the one, two, three, four, five, you know, response thing. But there are times when like,

the match is over, you're one pixel away from being hit for, for the final amount and there's nothing you can do. Yeah, the kill shot. Yeah. And we're in that action phase and we're staring at it. And it's like, you can resolve this five seconds right away to just end it faster. But instead, you decide to let it play out as slowly as possible, hoping that they're going to either surrender or, you know, and it just, yeah, and you're being a little bit like just a little little bit of BM in that moment, you know, I think, I think might what might be the most interesting like gray area is when you're guaranteed to lose is forfeiting a BM or is not letting them see their attacks play out the BM, right? Because if you're playing a game that

has turns and you just let the clock run out once you're obviously going to lose, that's obviously you just stalling for time. But I've talked to people who think that forfeiting, forfeiting is bad manners because you're denying people the ability to see their super or their no, I completely your combo play out. I disagree with that. What I will say is clear for what's clearly BM in in at least is fucking closing the game. And then suddenly your match just takes a while and says can't connect to your opponent. Oh, I mean, that's just that's just a rage quits. Yeah. So someone rage quits like a baby and then you have to and then it's a longer surrender, right? If someone rage quits on you, it's a surrender state, but it takes like an extra 10 15 seconds to register

that up your opponent left the match. Well, that's not very nice. No, that's that's the absolute baby move. So yeah. Anyways, that's pretty much it. You know, the rest continues, of course. So yeah, come hang out. We're having good times. Oh, I'm just wait, this me handle my hand up because I have something to say after you're done with your spiel because I forgot part of my week. Okay. So yeah, we're going to be continuing. FF six is is going. We're having a good time. I look forward to the disc two adventures continuing as well as Elden Ring is going. Having a whole lot of fun with that. Elden Ring, by the way. Well, I'm I'm just wandering around. And so I was having fun. I made it to the Altus Plateau and then I got to Volcano Manor.

I I hung out I hung out with the Sith fucking Sith Kappa Sith. What are you talking about? And met some of those people did one or two of those missions. And then I decided to swerve back to the underground to go hang out with Blythe. So okay, I did the Blythe stuff. And I'm going to I'm going to recommend that you check out the rest of the Blythe. That's what I'm doing. Yeah. Before you hit the Capitol. Yeah, they said it. No, they set it up nicely and basically went, hey, yo, bro, tournament arc. And I'm like, yeah, tournament arc. And so I'm like, OK, yeah, 100%. Yeah. Yep. Doing it. We're doing it. And we're punching our way through it, man. Frost fists.

Fucking fun. What can I say? And and also from what I hear, not a lot of other people out there doing it like that. So I like I like having a unique build as well. That's fun. A lot of people switch up once they get there's a there's another fist weapon you can get that's just too big old balls. Okay. You put on your fists that apparently really good. Yeah. Well, I'm having a good time with it. I'm going to, you know, make sure that I have the ability to upgrade something else I find to catch back up to wherever, you know, like I'm currently, I think I'm like plus 16, you know, or so on my Cestus. So that's cool. I'm also taking the opportunity to

it's like it takes some confidence to go to hand Cestus first time through a game, right? Like if you're that's usually one of those zany runs you do on your third or fourth. Yes. And once you were once you're familiar with what it means to have no range and once you know what the enemies can do to you. But, you know, some people are like, I don't like the fact that he's got that shield out and I'm like, I hear you. I'll switch back and forth. But I've been practicing a bit and I'm like, okay, let's try it. So I've been doing some some offscreen stuff and I've been just running pure double fist and and I'll see I'm probably going to die more. I'll probably end up losing some of my rune arcs as a result of that. And

rune arcs are are free. Yeah, there are a dime a dozen at this point for sure. But in general, most encounters that are are going to be like down like learn what you're looking at encounters will result in bad rolls and death way more often. So, you know, things might slow down as I die more, but I'm going to try going to I'm sure, but I'm going to try to handle a little bit more, you know, for the funsies because it's fucking cool. So plus it helps too that I also like I'm doing a fashion like set as well, like I'm enjoying that. So that means a little less life plus the two talismans that take extra damage as well. Yeah, those don't like the extra damage on those like over and over people keep running the math on it over and over. It

doesn't matter. Like you're getting more out of it out of it. You are losing. But what's what's nice is I've managed to I got a set of armor that's really high poise that I can mix in with my barbarian kind of fashion look so that I have a little bit of defense in addition to having no helmet while I punch things. So I'm doing a wild ridiculous build like I'm doing it as a silly no blocking. No, it's not that wild because you're using wharf frost stomp. That's true. Wharf frost is very good. I wouldn't call it wild because it's it's common and it's wild because I'm using that in my my like formerly meta build, which is no longer meta because I start playing it after it got nerfed wharf frost is still really good. Yeah, even after it's absolutely nerf.

But I just I went from like bloodhound gang to like the threat of a moon veil play through where I'm like, this is too strong. This is a LP annihilator. It's just too good. And then I'm like, okay, let's go with the fists. I've always wanted to do it. Let's do it. But wharf frost is there for some crowd control situations. And I'm like, yeah, that'll do. That'll do just fine. It's also nice as well to be getting some summons that are they're not they're not they're not bro leg, but they're still heavy hitters and they're still useful. You know, it's fun to have I've tried out a couple. There's there's one there's one summon that everybody loves and then I got horribly nerfed and everybody still loves it. Okay, I'll keep an eye out. I can feel

it in your heart. I can keep it. I'll keep an eye out. But I'm enjoying the the whatchamacallit the perfumer that like blesses you. They're doing pretty cool stuff. And the rate of attack on them as well as the rate of attack on the the ancestors, like those giant like horned troll fuckers with the arch with the Super Bowls. The thing they did, which is really smart is like all those summons are just enemies. Yeah, right. So like, there's a shit ton of them. Yeah, the archer that you get that like doesn't that who I forgot her name, but her wolf dies. Latina, I think. I fucking forget. But like, she has amazing range. But like that fucking ancestor can move and do his charge shots and then do close up melee when he gets rushed down. So oh, did you see the the bug people

found with Latina that implied that she used to have more stuff going on? I heard someone's mention it to me. I don't have the full details, but I heard that there's something about her riding wolves. So if a wolf enemy like runs into her, she clips on top of them and rides them around as a single unit. That's fucking crazy. That's insane. I heard something about that. And I even I heard like, oh, like, yeah, if you're near a wolf, you might see a unique interaction of some kind. I didn't see anything or notice anything. But like, wow, that sucks if that's gone, because that's really cool. Well, in any case, I did deploy her in my tests, and she just shot all the wolves and nothing happened. So. But yeah, so we are moving through that stuff and

having a good time with the build that continues as well as like I said, some teppen videos and some Lego Star Wars coming down the pipe. So tune in over at Wally versus on YouTube. And yeah, this week on the Twitch, we're going to continue with those LPs. And on the plan for I think for Saturday because we didn't get to do it this time. Ultimate Sonic Sonic Smackdown, as well as something else. Excuse me, I think maybe cross tag battle since they both got rollback. So let's do that. So yeah, that's it. So the thing that I forgot about for my week is that I had actually never seen the X files in my life. So Paige and I decided to start watching it. Yeah. A couple things. I don't need to tell you that the X files is great.

I've seen random episodes. It's great. What I do need to tell you is that the X files, I remember growing up and the X files was like the hottest thing. And now I'm looking back at the X files and you start the episodes that start in 93. And you're like, Oh, man, this feels like watching something from the fucking 70s. Everyone looks so old. And where are the cell phones? And there are like, there's a part where they're chasing what might be the Jersey Devil. And fucking Mulder holds up an artist's rendition of the Jersey Devil. And it is less artistically like well drawn than literally dick butt. Like it is. It is a child's drawing. It's up there with Sannick. Any show that lasted the duration of the 90s into the aughts before wrapping up had to

confront the fact that cell phones and life changed at an insanely quick rate. Yeah. I mean, early Seinfeld has a lot of that weird problem where it's like this is a different planet from the one you're going to end up on. Early Seinfeld is like the absolute pinnacle of the cell phone destroyed plot. Right. But X files was always for me just a like whatever episode is randomly airing on Sunday. I'll just sit down and watch that, but I never watched it in order. So it's great, but it's also a time travel show now, which is hurts. I also didn't know it came out so fast after Twin Peaks. It was I want to say Twin Peaks ended in 91. Okay. X files was 93. Twin Peaks was June of 91 and X files kicks in 93 two years later. And it really just it's

overwhelmingly Twin Peaks for humans. Like if a human if a normal human being wanted to be watching a show that took place in the Pacific Northwest about aliens and ghosts and shit, then they could watch the X files because there's a character on there named Dana Scully who's like shut up Mulder that wasn't a fish man. That was just some asshole hanging out in the ocean with a bunch of shit taped to him. Are you doing the full run? Yeah, the full run. It's also wild because like Mulder and Scully are constantly traipsing around in the woods, like constantly. And they're like, Oh, what if there was a spooky alien out here in the woods? And it's like it's those woods outside my fucking window because the whole fucking show

was filmed in BC. Same thing with Stargate. And it's like fucking they might as well be in my fucking backyard looking for Bigfoot. And on top of that episode one, they're running around in the woods looking for aliens. And it's dark here in the moons out and there's no one for a million miles. And I'm sitting back there on the couch behind me and something hits my shoulder. And I turn to my left and the skeleton that we have propped behind the couch so that saying he does not eat him nicely has tipped over and has hit me on the shoulder and I turned and the head is twisted and is staring at me from three inches away. Very good. And I had, I don't know what to call it. You know that animal, you know that animal fear that happens in your stomach. Yeah. And then

in the back, the vibration, the vibration. Yeah. And you just go, I had one of those. Yep. Yep. Of course. And that was with 10 minutes of watching the X file. So it was a good start. This is your of your own doing entirely a world you made. Oh, I might as well have set it up on myself as a prank. There you go. Okay. Good. Good. So something again, I know spotty bits and pieces because I've seen spotty bits and pieces of episodes. Do they mention in episode one, do they establish and what should we call it? Mulder's sister as a plot point at all. Mulder's sister shows up in episode three as the story. Okay. Okay. So right away season one. It's right away. Yeah. Okay. Right. Okay. And it's this it's like this who's who 90s

thing where like Seth Green shows up as like a 16 year old stoner, like in one of the very first episodes. But before he was Seth Green, he was just some fucking kid. Malcolm in the middle David Covney, who was a Twin Peaks character is now a different like weirdo character on this. It's it's fucking fascinating. It's it's fascinating. Everybody's picking up landline telephones all the time. I don't understand and smoking indoors. Well, that's one of the most famous ex files characters cigarette smoking man. Yes. Love smoking. Man, every it's hard. It's hard to to explain to the kids who was born anywhere after 96. I want to say it was, which you could still be 28 now, right? And be born in 96.

But like, people loved smoking. Also, they loved smoking all the time. I remember like an actor that was in a movie that was taught that like had to smoke for a scene was describing how like, if you smoke anyway, it's you're like, Oh, that's great. So I can just rip butts in here and, you know, that'll be my that'll be my thing for the day. And then two takes in, you're like, Oh, fucking God, get this thing away from me. And they're like, No, we still didn't get it. We got to keep going. And like the entire day, even if it's not you're not actually pulling from it, you just have it there. And it's like, you it sucks. You have it with you the whole time. Even if you're a smoker, you're fucking sick of it. I can only imagine

what it was like shooting cigarette smoking, man. Do you know, you know what this makes me think of? So back in the day, everybody loved to smoke. Everybody's parents smoked. Maybe your parents didn't know Jesus. No. But I mean, I'm growing, we're growing up in Quebec, you must have seen just every guy on the corner just eating a pack of cigarettes like it was candy. And the law comes down that you have to provide a smoking and non smoking area because people don't know it can't get, you know, before it was banned indoors entirely. And I don't think anything did more damage to the the the plight of smokers than when McDonald's and I want to say Dunkin Donuts for their non smoking areas decided to put a plastic partition up. Do you remember that?

I do because I remember seeing them at like like Denny's style places. They put the plastic up as well to separate. Yeah. So they put the plastic up and what the plastic did was show you just how fucked up it was over on the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was astonishing. The fucking one side of it would be visibly stained and you would open it and it would waft out like poison. And it was like a fog inside that half of the restaurant. And you'd look at that and like even my parents who love smoking were like, yeah, maybe we're going to just wait till we're outside to have a puff because then. And then, of course, outside you get the ritual of the winter huddle, you know. Oh, God, there's so many things that happened on the way to where we are. Like

the winter huddle has to be the cause of many people quitting smoking because it's like a shame activity. Nobody's enjoying it. You're enjoying your time away from your desk, but you have to be a certain distance from the door and you're everyone's huddled and you're talking about bullshit and people who don't smoke are giving you dirty looks as they walk into whatever building that you came out of. It's awful. Don't start smoking, kids. It's bad for you. And don't worry, they'll find out that vaping is just as bad for you in about a decade. I mean, we've already, well, anyway, there's, you know, there's all that tech coming down the pipeline. But the, yeah, no, the huddle was always just like, although again, I do remember though, like

in peak QA, the people who are like, I have not smoked in years, but I'm picking it back up because I have an excuse to work less. I'm allowed to walk off and take a smoke break with a boss. That was a very wild time period in which the smokers right to smoke was like enshrined, if not legally, but like culturally. If the boss smoked, you got to go take a break too. That's it. Yeah. And then you get to talk to the boss outside of work. If you talk shit and get promoted and burdened, you know, oh, we're smokers, you and me. We get in this together trying to the government try to tell me what seat belts get out of town. My body heat is keeping you warm right now or bonded. All right, let's take some sponsors. Let's. All right.

Quick break here. This week's podcast is sponsored by Door Dash. Hey, Door Dash. What's up, man? So, you know, this is the part where it's like, we talk about how terrible you are at cooking. We talk about how terrible and embarrassing it is whenever you try to do your thing. We remind you that you just don't possess what it takes and you don't even have the time to bother learning. So, get Door Dash and then order from the places you already like and they'll be delivered straight to your door. And spend the time you could use cooking, playing more Xbox and smoking your vapes. That's how you do it. Next thing you know, ding dong, your food has arrived, no problem. And you're getting your favorites from all the places you

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And the ants created a full-on suspension bridge of ant bodies connected to each other that formed a U from a roof all the way down and back up to the hornet's nest. Okay. And the engineering of this feat was unbelievable. It was incredible. But if ants are so smart, how come they don't use Honey to save money on online orders? Well, that's the problem. As smart, as cool as it was to watch that, those ants were completely wasting their time and their money because they could have been saving bucks. They could have been hitting that checkout and entering the right promo codes, but they didn't know. So fuck you, ants. You're impressive, but you're not that smart.

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all kinds of different shops online. And again, you are smarter than ants, I would hope. So why not get one up on those fuckers and get Honey? Yeah, promo code boxes are teasing you anyways. So give them what for? If you don't already have Honey, you can be straight out missing out. Do yourself a solid, support the show, and get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash superbeast. That's joinhoney.com slash superbeast. Thank you, Honey. Thank you, Honey. Lastly, we are also sponsored this week by Uncommon Goods. And I have talked a bit about them in the past because Uncommon Goods is,

it's, you know, the name is pretty straightforward. Sometimes you just like the name of the thing is what we do. And this is one of those cases. If you're looking for cool things around the house, little trinkets, things to shop for, gifts, especially for someone that, you know, you want to be a little unique and like flavor to their tastes. Uncommon Goods is a great place for finding gifts and things that you can personalize to different people's tastes. I mentioned last time I got a game of 3D tic-tac-toe. That's been fun having that on the table. And we've been able to, you know, you think you're good at tic-tac-toe, you think it's solved, or what if you add the Z-axis to it, then all of a sudden it becomes way more complex. It's fun,

you know, and you got to sometimes, you have, there's a whole other strategy that goes involved in 3D tic-tac-toe. And yeah, it's one of the cool things they have. And something else I just got from them was a, it's a little like, you know, the, you know, when you bring out like a steam tray with food on it and you reveal it and it's like, all the steam comes out. So it's like a really small one of those and it goes in the oven and it's made for, for like really grilling vegetables. And it's awesome. In particular, you put like a clove of garlic in there. You can get a nice like oven cooked garlic with all the heat contained right inside. And that, that's what's one of the things I was like, oh yeah, we love grilled vegetables in this house. So let's take

advantage of that. Also available. So you got Mother's Day coming up. Why not take a look to see? Oh shit. May 8th. Don't forget. That's not coming up. It's coming up. That's, that's in like, like over a week away. Well, you don't need to think about holidays. But what if you're terrible at choosing? What if you forget? And what if also you got to get some shipping? Right? I am all in all of those situations. So Mother's Day is coming up. Perfect time to go look at uncommon goods and see what kind of unique fun things that you think would work for her. I also used it to get, you know, lovely punch mom. I got her that that that plant that that doesn't die because it lights and waters itself. So, you know, is it alive still?

It's still alive. A new record. Yeah. Self watering. So, you know, just take all operator error out of the equation, you know? Take it all out of the equation. Consider it. Yeah. I see that face. That's the face of someone who knows. He knows. I know. Get 15% off your next gift. Go to uncommon goods dot com slash superbeast. That's uncommon goods dot com slash superbeast for 15% off. Don't miss out on the limited time offer on common goods. They're all out of the ordinary. Yeah. There you go. Thanks on common goods. Thanks on common goods. Yep. Uh, right. Let's take a look at the news.

So, uh, I, it was kind of funny because when I was first hearing about, uh, the new Thor movie, I believe there was an announcement that was like, there's going to be no trailers, no press, lol. Fuck off trailer today. Just go see it. Yeah. And I was like, really? Are you seriously going to just drop this movie with no promotion because fucking massive balls of so, but also like that can't, there's no way the studios will accept that. And no, of course not. So there's a trailer. It will not. It's a ballsy move that like, I respect the gumption to try it, but also look at movies today that are like, you all, people go like, you know, yeah, I had no promotion. What do you expect? Right. But it's a Marvel movie.

So, eh, but then again, so was like fucking Black Widow. Right. So anyways, Thor just dropped a new trailer. Um, and, uh, yeah, no, I was from, from taking a quick look at that. I'm surprised it wasn't, um, it wasn't all Jane. They kind of just saved it for the Stinger shot. But yeah, uh, yeah, seems like it seems like it's going to be fun because it's just the continuing adventures of, of, uh, uh, Thor and Tyka essentially is what I, what I'm down for. And then, um, a little bit of Guardians on the side. And then Jane is going to show up and do her thing. I have nothing more to add to that because I don't like, how do I put this? Maybe Star Lord and Thor will kiss.

Maybe. I really like Korg. So this is just an excuse for me to go. Yeah, I just, I really like Tyka with TT's weirdly understated delivery. That's it. This is just an excuse for me to go. Yay, Korg. That's it. Korg's, Korg's the best. Korg's, Korg's the best. We're done. But, but, but also, um, that's not the, what, what, what? Every now and then, every now and then you see something so stupid that like I couldn't even stop myself from starting to yell out, shut up. I just saw someone say Morbius still has a few months to make a comeback. Mr. White, we need to find somewhere to cook. I know where we can go. Damn it, Mr. White. We can't cook in here. It's a Morbius sweep.

You know, I feel so bad for people that are involved in that production that had no control over the actual result of the movie because like before it even released, like way before it even released, like it was a dedicated punchline. Here's the thing. No chance at all. Well, here's the thing. Morbius is landing the way Venom should have landed. Oh, you're super right. Yeah. When Venom was announced as its own thing that has nothing to do with anything going on, and you're like, what is this dumb energy I'm getting from this movie? It should have landed like this, but it didn't. So that got delayed. It's cool because people like Venom and people like the actor. And Venom made fun of itself, right? Yeah. So now that feeling got delayed

and put onto Morbius spin off instead. You know, that's what happened. They passed the buck. I don't know, man. Morbius is super fun. Venom is a born loser, like the character has been a joke forever. Like, but you can you can take a movie to take the opportunity to make them more. You can do more. I mean, yeah, you could look at blade like blade in the comics was he was he was fine, but he wasn't Wesley Snipes fucking edge. You know, he was not. So that that elevated blade quite a bit. I mean, look at peacemaker peacemaker in the comics is some dumb comic man. He's not the John Cena. Sure, right? Sure. But you need talent. Anyway, so that's not the only film news. Actually, there's a bunch of others.

In particular, we also just got word that a ghost of Tsushima movie is happening. I'm going to be directed by the director of John Wick. Yeah, just go ahead and just go ahead. You know, there was a there was a mass of video game media property news for film and TV that happened over the past week. Yep. Um, and all of them were the same story. Every single one of them was the same story. It was this thing has been optioned or will be written or will be coming out as a video game property in TV or movie or whatever. And every single one of them is the people writing Halo decided to ignore all the games so that it could be its own thing. And Pedro Pascal took a healthy distance

away from the last of us game so that he does his own thing in the show. And they won't cast the actor who plays gin in Ghosts of Tsushima as gin in Ghosts of Tsushima because it's its own thing, despite the fact that he is an accredited actor. I heard that in Halo, the context for that with the full interview was to that was because they said we went to Bungie and we looked at the all the source material that they used to make the games instead of just going by the games. So it was what it was. It was kind of clipped. The Halo thing is maybe the funniest thing I've seen because I have not personally watched it. I've just been watching people just shit on it from a distance and the crux of it has been the guy takes his helmet off in the very first episode

which is like a dread situation in which people are like I cannot believe you took took his helmet off. And I was like I get that from both ends of that. But what followed up week after week was like they keep taking his helmet off over and over and over. And every time he goes to speak, he takes his helmet off which which which like crescendoed last week was the show's idea is that when the helmet goes on, it's time for John to become master chief and go kill some aliens, right? Okay, which I can get then cut to a scene playing out on my Twitter of fucking page where he dramatically puts the helmet on and then it cuts to him driving in a jeep and then he gets out of the jeep and takes the helmet off less than 15 seconds later. Right, right, right,

right. And I'm like, Oh, oh, oh, cool. Oh, I'm reminded of some of the stuff with how Mandalorian started and was going. But I feel like in that, well, you know, in that instance, like a big part of like the expectation was addressed in that you're like this is not an actual original Mandalorian, this is a different new tribe and, you know, and it's a big part of what the season is about anyway and stuff. But but anyway, back to to go to Tsushima, though, I feel like, you know, we're going to be obviously in this world of, well, it's a game inspired by Kurosawa style films. And now you're going to have a movie based on the game based on the inspiration behind the films. And that probably is going to look and feel nothing like a Kurosawa film. Nothing. It's going to look

like what somebody thinks a video game movie should look like. Like I saw one of those like angry, very angry like renditions of the whole thing that like is obviously untrue, but I cannot hope that I cannot help but think there's a kernel of truth to it, which is it feels like video game movies, aside from Sonic, are some kind of Hollywood shame ritual. Where they are angry at the medium that actually makes more money than they do. And oh, fuck you for existing. Here is a here is a like begrudging adaptation. Because like I look at I look at like fucking uncharted, right? And uncharted the games made so much goddamn money compared to blockbuster movies, like in general, of the time. And then

do you do you like hear what every fucking pitch for that uncharted movie was over the years? It like four of them were variations. The uncharted family globe. Yeah, it was the uncharted family of antique hunters and shit like that. Spikens. Yeah. And in any case, this is the type of thing where ultimately a lot of adaptations are just a big old why. And then it's like, well, you know why, right? It's when you cash out on the thing, the property that's been set up, whatever. So it's like, okay, this can be done successfully. If, well, one, John Wick guy is cool, right? John Wick is good. That that that, you know, there's talent there. That's fine. But yeah, you want to know that a this is just going to go straight to the source on it's a film again, so we can more directly

go for the references that the game was going for. Therefore, just go straight to the Kurosawa on this. So instead of doing the in between a broken game of game of broken telephone. And then two, well, yeah, get the guy who is gin to be gin. Because why wouldn't you? Because what good what possible reason would you have outside of we just want to do our own thing? Because, you know, would you have for not getting the person who would, I'm sure, unless they're too busy and turning it down or something, it feels like that's the move. Getting John Wickman, who is a very good director, and I like those John Wick movies to do the ghost of Sashima movie feels like an intentional like mistake. I don't know how to put it.

Ghost of Sashima is a really chill, calm game that is more about gin feeling like a piece of shit for poisoning people than it is about cool samurai fights. And they gave it to the guy who has made multiple movies in a row that have literally no plot at all. But but Kiana Reeves shot those guys real cool and shit. Yeah. You know, he might take a moment to ride a haiku and follow the wind at some point. But it might just be an extended action sequence, which, you know, the John Wick guy is also like, I believe he was like the he was a stunt coordinator first and then became a director. And that's like he's a stunt coordinator into director. So that's why John Wick is that kind of movie. It's kind of like how, you know,

like like death proof. It's like this is a stunt person's movie. So yeah, I don't know. Somebody in the chat asks, is the plot for Ghost of Sashima actually complex? No, it's not complex. What it is is slow. It's it's a slow story, even if you told it as a film. And that would give into a director and team that does fast action movies, even though they're really long. They're really long, right? Yeah. But you know, this is a like Sony is trying to get a bunch of movies made, right? So this is like, Uncharted was one of them. And then they partnered up with a bunch of studios to try and get like their their their properties adapted. This is the next one. And it's also never forget, never forget that

Sony Pictures is inhabited by a breed of person that has dedicated their lives to appearing to be the most alien like and least human creatures known to this earth. Every single document, interview or leaked piece of information out of Sony Pictures. Oh, the email leaks has portrayed them as the least human of all Hollywood people in terms of grip on reality. Mm hmm. The Spider-Man stuff. They are all crazy. They are all nuts. And also in the in these lineup are of course, there's the Last of Us TV show that was mentioned and a action comedy for Twisted Metal. That's supposed to be happening as well. So they're just yeah, Sony wants to get into the movie TV game big and hard with everything they've got.

The only way Twisted Metal can possibly work is if it's exactly the same as Twisted Metal One. And Outlaw is played by Jason Statham as your main character. And they change nothing. And it's just death race again with Jason Statham, but with a clown in it. I mean, I've I've only played Twisted Metal, Twisted Metal 2 and. Don't worry, you're good. There's no plot. There is nothing there. You know, and I'm just like, I don't know where to even begin with like, you're turning this into white. Like, yeah, anyway, whatever. You're right. Because there's nothing.

There is nothing to Twisted Metal. As somebody who has played every Twisted Metal game, there is no there is no meat on that at all. Who is the evil guy in the blimp that was like running the show? Calypso. Calypso, yeah. He grants wishes. There you go. Anyway, adaptations are coming. That ain't all, though, because breaking news, and this is breaking as we started the podcast, break it. It was also announced that a script is being written for Streets of Rage, the movie. Oh, wow. If you want to talk about nothing and let's talk about fucking Streets of Rage. And this one is is also related in that the John Wick script writer is attached to write the script here.

But this is potentially, this is looking like it's on the heels of Sonic's success, because Sega is behind, has got Streets of Rage. So they're like, yeah, let's see if we can do something else here. That soundtrack better be incredible. I mean, to be fair to the game and its material, like this is also a call for John Wick style simplicity. This is this is a call for no plot at all. Just a bunch of characters beating people up through a series of actions, getting their revenge for very simple reasons, and we're done. And and make sure that you can you can get the fucking only trust your fists. Police will never

help you somewhere in there at some point. And if someone will say that, and then the cops will show up at the last second and shoot the back, shoot the grenade launcher, and then and then everyone will hug the cops and say, man, you guys don't get paid enough. And then they'll kill and then they'll kill someone's dog for fun. Yeah, so that's that's that's coming down the pipeline. Anyway, I mean, look, guys, we need to brace because at some point, I think, in case you forgot, you're going to have to get ready for Chris Pratt Mario any any day now. It's it's coming. I I feel like I'm going to know that Chris Pratt Mario is out because I'm

going to wake up and check Twitter and Twitter will be down. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe maybe. Don't you forget that that's right around the corner, folks. Let's see if they do a a version of it that tests the waters, you know, like like the original Sonic and then go, oh, wait, hold on. No, my brain just started to flood with that shit Chris Pratt said about Italians again. It's just. But like, maybe maybe the version of Mario we're going to get is going to look slightly too human in proportion with still the Mario head on a human body and just like they'll be like, oh,

wait, no, maybe we we heard you guys and we've changed it. And now he looks like actual Mario. Yeah. Oh, do you see the the Minecraft ship? No. No. I don't know if you'd even believe me, but Jason Mamoa is going to play Steve. Come on Minecraft film. Come on. Come on. Like that's someone's. That's a headline. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, here we go. Christ. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

It really is just a list of 30 actors and then. Oh, yeah. You just grab one and then figure it out. Yeah. Yeah, whatever. Okay. What do we got? Who's available? Okay, cool. Fine. Fuck it. Okay. Who do we who's available? Jared Leto. Oh, man. Okay, start the tax bullshit on the movie and we'll we'll hire Jared and we'll just have the government of fucking Uruguay pass back and we film there. Anyways, anyways, let's let's look forward to this this world of adaptations coming hot and fast. Yes. Please get excited. You know, I remember in the 90s, everyone's like, please make video game

movies. They'd make such great movies. And now we're in the aughts. No, we're not. We're in the 10s. We're way past the odds. Fuck. Yep. There it is. There it is. Yep. Never forget. Never forget. The 90s. 10 years ago. The aughts. 10 years ago. The 2010s. 10 years ago. 2017. 100 years ago. Anyway, now that we're in the 20s, everyone's like, please stop, stop. Um, all right, other stuff, another breaking story actually. As we as we get out of there, it seems that Nintendo's official Game Boy Advance emulator from the switch just leaked. So. Oh, cool. Now everyone can compare it to the existing available emulators around and see that Nintendo's is dog shit by comparison.

That's that's I mean, it's like, yeah, that's been in that you can just take a look and see what they're what they're running, you know, that's about all that that's good for. But interesting that it happened. I'm still every day that I can remember it. I get mad about the PS2 emulator that we're not allowed to have. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. It's in there officially created Sony PS2 emulator that it uses to play PS2 classics. It's sitting right there. Perfect. It is a perfect PS2 emulator and we are not allowed to have it for some reason. Well, some reason. Now, fuck it, sell me every PS2 game ever made again. I'll buy him. I just either it's not as bad as Nintendo, but god damn it. Is it is it right down there? Like

Sony is not actively like fuck archiving 1000 percent. You're not allowed to even like think about our old games, but they're one step off. They really are because they've made a perfect way to play them. And they're just like, no, no. Anyway, so switch switch emulators out there. All right. So we have it's just a minor a minor note here, but Blizzard has acquired and fully merged with vicarious visions, which I don't know if that name means anything to you, but racing games are great. It to me, it's it's the that's the the logo before every single GBA game like vicarious visions popping up on every adaptation of something to the GBA or the DS back then, you know, they fucking like they did the Tony Hawks.

They also did the crash insane trilogy and their their reward was to get folded in to make bullshit DLC for other studios. Some Spyro stuff, too. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's a name that goes back quite a quite a ways, man. Well, there it is. Officially merged, as they say. So now they're just working on Blizzard games and that's that rip. Um, but those of you listening at home, I just did like a half hearted shrug. I cannot feel anything, but like Activision Blizzard was the absolute worst company in the history of this industry for, hey, you did a really successful project with the new IP. Great. Get ready to

make a call of duty maps for the rest of your career. Yeah, like over and over and over and over. Well, it's just it's it's it's honestly like we haven't had we've we're hearing like acquisition stories once again, but there was an era where they were popping off frequently and then it stopped maybe like early 20, like 2011, 2012 era when it was just like the blob that is Activision has summoned you up to throw yourself into its gut. And that's your fate. If you're too small to defend yourself, this is it. You know, you can you can prove that you can handle some of our contract work and then eventually throw yourself into the gut and be digested and you will never work on anything that you're interested in personally ever again. Tony will Hawk wanted to remastered

excellent. Everybody loves it. Yep. Smash hit revitalize the Tony Hawk into the mind into the fucking gut. Like oh, Jesus, fuck. You know, I think the worst one and will you and I in particular should never let anyone forget it. Hey, we can't make as much money off of these fucking plastic guitar games anymore. Ruin ruin the genre. Destroy the entire genre for everybody. Ruin the whole genre so that no one can ever make any money off of it ever again. Flood to the market. How much plastic can we print? Make everyone hate the concept of Guitar Hero. And that's how we'll we'll we'll we'll salt the earth forever. Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, it really did like like if you want to get back at what you call it rock band, you know,

for for being better than you and like starting their own thing that surpassed the gig that they sold you. That's one way to do it, man, spitefully salt the earth so that nobody cares anymore. And then have the most unbelievably just like Sith Lord interview as Bobby sat there and was and went on about how there's imitators out there that are trying to be their pretenders to the throne, but our guitar guitar hero is the original as he's describing fucking rock band by harmonics, you know, like it. The only thing I can think of that's more spiteful than the thing we just described is the people at Ubisoft who decided that if they couldn't legally kill but trees stays away, they may as well just do everything they could to ruin his life by buying up every company

and project he ever got to work on and destroying it. I've told the story here about a bar in downtown Montreal that like the owner of the bar was basically holding out because they had a bar that was like, you know, this is a regular joint where people would go and hang out for years. And then this big mogul that was buying up all the real estate downtown was trying to move in on this bar, especially because they had one of the last video poker machines, video poker machines, and you were not allowed to get new ones, but you could only be grandfathered in, right? So if you had a video poker machine, it was worth a fuck ton because people wanted to come play it and you can't get any more of them. So he tried to buy out this bar and the bar was like, no,

like we've had this place, we want to keep it, we like what we have, whatever. And then it's like, okay, well, if you won't take any offers and if our hostile takeovers won't work, then we're going to buy the building that you're housed in the entire like the company that owns the building that you're in, we're going to buy them out instead and fuck you. And then raise your rent, fuck with your bullshit. Absolutely. Force you and yeah, force you to be unable to afford your rent. And exactly, you'll have to leave, shut your business down. And then they're like, okay, well, fuck this, we're moving. And so then they they rented a spot down the street and they're like, Hey, everybody, we got it. We're going to set

up shop down the street. We got the bar. We're just going to move it all over there. And a week before they opened, the same dude went and bought that one too and bought out that location and made sure that they could not move to that location because infinite money, you can't stop me. I can do what I want. So then they had to pick a third location, which was then only secretly revealed on a Facebook group to the regulars on the night that they set up shop, because if they announced it beforehand, it would have gotten just bought out and destroyed a la, you know, fortnight to apex type situation, fucking crazy type of shit. And it just it reminds me of that, you know? Anyway,

speaking of a broken real estate market, Final Fantasy 14 is apologizing. What is happening in the housing lottery system? Okay, so it's actually fairly complicated. So I'm going to give some refresher courses. You probably remember a good deal of this, Willie, but most people don't. In Final Fantasy 14, every couple of years, they add more housing space. Now housing space is player housing that has a real physical location in world. There's only so much of it because it takes a lot of server resources to actually maintain where everything is people running around and doing

it yada yada. So they add they originally started with three areas, then they added a fourth one, now they're adding a fifth one, and every couple of years they double or otherwise increase the amount of space, the amount of houses for sale. It's been a long term problem for literally its entire existence that bad actors are able to buy up using alternative accounts, their friends, etc. And they're able to buy up like enormous proportions of the in-game housing market so that people can't actually use them and they do crazy shit, like fucking have entire housing wards of like 30 houses that are all owned by like one or two guys, they can have their perfect little fake societies. And it's fucked up because housing in FF14 has some minor gameplay benefits,

but it's mainly because people want to have their guild or free company and have a place to hang out and decorate and put stuff in there and do the housing stuff that you would usually do. It's been an ongoing thing no one's ever happy about it. A little while back they made it so that if you're not in your house for a certain length of time it will auto demolish and then you can go buy that spot. It has created a gray market of people willing to sell their houses to other people by letting it auto demolish if only you pay me this certain amount. And this leads to people camping out outside of houses that are set to auto demolish literally 24 hours a day mass clicking on it or in some cases making macros to mass click on the buy system. And it means that if you just want to

have a fucking little plot of land to hang out with your buddies in this fake ass video game and maybe grow some items and hang out in the yard with your chocobo, it's been this absolute nonsense labyrinthine fucked up problem that's been exacerbated by a community of psychos. It's one of the most horrifying things I've heard about that entire game. Yeah it's complete insanity for this optional part of gameplay that should be this nice little fun add-on. So the devs finally said okay letting you guys buy these fucking things as you will doesn't work. It just doesn't work. So we're instituting a new housing area called Empyrean. It's this nice snow area. It's in the country of Ishgard. It's a place people

have wanted houses for a while and houses are going to be sold via lottery. And the way the lottery works is fairly simple. There's free company housing which is guild housing basically and then there's personal housing. If you want a personal house you take the amount of money that it would cost to buy the house and you pay it up front and it gives you a lottery ticket that will then be polled and if you win the lottery you win. That's it. That's how you would get your personal house. For free company they made it so that they don't want people that are trying to fuck up and game the system. So you have to have been active for 30 days. You need to be above a certain level. Your FC needs to be a certain size. It needs to be a certain rank.

Basically so people couldn't just make a brand new free company and treat it like a personal house. Then what happens is every member of your free company can put the full value of the house up personally and buy a ticket for the lottery. And if you lose you get your money back. It's not a big deal. So what this led to is people scouting around and going oh this house that my free company wants only has one bid on it. So what we'll do is we will move money around for our free company because we've got this rich guy and this rich guy and we'll use that to put eight tickets in so we're probably going to win it. The lottery is obviously not a great solution but it is a solution and it is one that people were ostensibly more happy with it because

even if it's fucked up and even if it results in you not getting anything at least it's actually fair. It's a ticket system. It's a regular ass lottery administered by a computer. You don't have to sit there mashing on it at 4am on server restart to hopefully get there faster than the fucking other guy who's closer to the server and mash through it yada yada. So people put their tickets in. You'll get a full refund if you lose. Everyone's saying well we'll probably get it and if we don't it's fine we'll get a smaller house. Day comes on. I log on. My guys got their house. Great. I go down to the spot. We got the biggest house in the best spot in the best ward. Perfect. Great. And then we're setting up the house and we look out and notice that nobody else got a house.

Like nobody. It's gone from a system in which houses are literally all sold in one second to where is everyone. So you dig in and find out that the majority in depending on server vast majority of FCs and individuals who put in money for the houses somehow lost to the number zero which is no one and then got locked out until the next round of lottery. I'm seeing that they were also given messages saying there are no participants in this lottery. So if you clicked on it you'd say the winning bid was zero and then if you clicked on it again you would be told that there were no participants. So it has been going back and forth and back and forth as to what the actual nature of the issue is right because your first thought is that the idea behind the raffle is

they literally did answer is n times instead of n plus one times right because zero shouldn't be a valid number. However it's since come out that it's actually much more complicated than that because there were systems in place so that if you had an alt on your player account like your paid account that was also in a free company who also had FC permissions you could only do it on one of the other. Not all of them. And so there's all this complicated shenanigans going through. So there's also speculation that calculating every housing transaction within the first second of the server going live on that day might have caused many of them to freak out and bug. Apparently people are saying that their update is that it's a communication between the lottery

and housing server which if it failed would go zero and not give anyone the house apparently long and apparently Yoshi said that it's a complex process that involves many patterns for the lottery conditions so it'll and it's going to take them some time to pinpoint the exact nature of the problem. So the biggest problem is that if zero was a potential win that means people who only had the single bid on a house went from a 100% chance to a 50% chance at best right and it's why it's been such a problem and it seems to affect free company housing more than others but there's all sorts of secondary problems with this. One the idea is if there were bids houses that didn't have any bids you would just it would roll over on the next

lottery and then it would all shake out normal bids are stopped now you know housing purchase anymore the whole system's on hold until they figure it out on top of that with this kind of catastrophic error if it affected everyone what they could have done is put it on hold entirely but no some people like me got the houses no problem and also even if the system is completely broken and some people were bugged out of potential wins and other people did get them they can't roll it back that time has passed once people logged in and claimed their houses and started to play the game there was like a 90 minute period where if it was bad enough they could have rolled it back that period is long gone that was days ago I wonder if the houses were

like instead of being called considered like this didn't go to anybody if it was considering that like the winner is zero there is a winner and this whole this house is now owned by zero by error you know um there's speculation there's speculation that the way that it was supposed to work was that zero would be valid because zero would be the only possible winner if there were no other entries and thus would automatically roll over into the next cycle and it would be easier but they forgot to recursively put the point in of like zero can only win if there are no other entries and it was just a potential thing now the actual winners are apparently in a file somewhere but it sounds like someone is going to have to go and just do that

for all the houses of which we're talking thousands and thousands so there's a so there's an official apology which is like hey sorry we understand and yeah the the nature of problems like this that surround things that require people to sit at their fucking keyboard for an entire day like it's it's extra bad when it when that's the that's the the the the system is is already asking a lot of you when it is working um so uh but but they're basically saying that it's gonna take a while to fix this to begin with um they're probably gonna have to do it manually like they have they have the results for all bought houses right now they're probably going to take every winner down and just uh assign just go give the permissions which like fuck um the important

thing as we can all remember is that I got my house no problem sure yeah yeah in all honesty I can't believe we did like all joking aside because in the ward we're in there's um four houses total and one of them is a friend of mine's like his fc so like in the existing ward right now we own half of the houses and by half I mean two it's just it's the like it's the least surprising thing in the world to discover that you know I mean we've had extended conversations about this before in previous clips but it's just like yeah so you put enough sophistication behind the scarcity of assist of a of a retail of a real estate system in a game and it 100% mirrors reality everything that happens in reality just starts happening in the game right away

you know and oh right away right away uh you know and if there's ways to to fucking uh to scumbag your way into you know whatever whatever you can do just exactly like bidding beforehand outside of the the the the regulatory the regulated times doing it early put I like you know at some point are you going to have to put in your conditions are you going to have to put in a down payment you know what I mean like will there be will there be like uh well there already are house scalpers you described right so the equivalent of your black rock already does exist you know so um so yeah unfortunately for the team I feel bad for them they are working on one of the end walker features that's scheduled for a later patch is some kind of harvest moon

stardew valley instanced island where you could do all the housing stuff without actually having a house which would sidestep a significant amount of these problems and might have been what they should have done the first in the first place back in 2013 uh but that's not out yet uh so let's see who's who's trying to buy this house over here hmm look at this free company a bunch of lalafels how about we uh how about we how about we we we take this one off off the market for now and put that back up and see can you can you start a new account we'll give you the gill you yeah yeah the timer's gonna run out in three hours they don't know that but I can see the timer so

why does this neighborhood have such strange borders that keep changing and circling certain areas and out and pushing other areas outside hmm no no just don't know curious I think the I think the I think the red line I think the funniest shit in in 14 housing is people that get mad when you use their training dummy in their yard like get out of my fucking yard like but I'm using the training dummy you put it out here I can use it the game doesn't stop me from using it well um hope for the best on that system if it's a compromise for something that has no fix then so be it actually no the funniest thing in the ff14 housing thing is depending on how big

your house is and where it's placed you sometimes have to walk really really far to get to the market board oh like you physically have to travel yeah the the best houses the most popular ones are the ones that have market boards directly in front of them and it's like a five second in-game character walk to them but like if you're down the street you have to walk by all the more expensive houses to get to the market board and it takes way longer um okay other things going on apparently some details are leaking for the battle royale mode coming to halo infinite looks like you mean the game they said they can't update the playlists because the game's fucking interface is so broken uh that one looks like they're straight up just

dropping br into the game uh at some point in the midterm future and some people are are dropping bullet points on on what it's gonna have and it's the shrinking circle and the and the respawning system and all the other things but um they're that halo infinite drop the ball so fucking bad dude like just uh when i see this though and it's like it's kind of an obvious choice right like battle royale is the most popular thing call of duty becomes a battle royale game um halo now drops in and becomes a battle royale game um does halo which exists as its own like popular multiplayer playlist thing even though this thing fucked up in its launch but still like classic halo is a very popular way to play

fps when you introduce something like battle royale to it would that mode possibly take over and become the mode the only thing that people play i know what i can tell you is that halo's gameplay system works really well for battle royale because you have a lot of health i mean wouldn't you modify things to like decrease survivability once you have more players on the map so that it has a faster rhythm no no if they if if they fucked with the halo man's health at all people would just not play that i guess it wouldn't feel like halo if you just if you went down it would feel way too quick right yeah no well um it is the i am curious because this is definitely a like the old established formula that is you know worked for a very long time and then

the new thing um how so how does it mesh when you put them together and like would the new things popularity just like get enough new kids and or you know what i mean like doesn't have the power to just be like oh shit this is exploded and this is what halo is from now on you know so halo infinites in a really bizarre spot where um they could add anything possible to the game and it will not only like how about this anything they add to the game that is not the ability to just play slayer will make people furious because it's the only thing everyone has asked for since the day this thing came out and they have even come out and said that they don't think they can do it because the way they designed their menus and playlists it's we can't just add new playlists

just like that guys it's like then throw it all out and because people just want to play slayer and and you said like and it would fuck up every other game mode by by lopsiding the popularity of it oh did they finally add a slayer only playlist oh thank god did they add team slayer only fuck maybe i can actually go play that game again it says a lot that that news didn't get to me oh okay um but yeah is if i remember correctly wasn't the first time you talked about this the wasn't the implication that like the less popular modes need to be forced on you so that they don't just become barren wastelands where you can't actually play if you if you give oh yeah totally yeah that's such a like if you look at if you if you look at um

master chief collection there's like a huge like playlist functionality where you can just cute you can just select playlists that you'd want to be in and then just queue generally and it'll just queue you and all those playlists simultaneously yeah i think when i was when i tried out mcc that was the first time i had well no i mean obviously titanfall had playlist stuff as too but uh yeah no it's it's it's a weird one to have like a a system where like you have to do rotating game modes and you can't just do the one you want because the unpopular game modes would stay dead you know um yeah it's it's it's really bizarre because master chief collection is still getting new stuff and is like a better game than than halo infinite

like that's stupid uh yeah so that's that's going down um i briefly mentioned it as well but uh yeah um some rollback drops for uh blaze blue cross tag battle it dropped this week and uh the fan game ultimate sonic smackdown and head to head by arc forged as well have rollback in them so i'm gonna probably be checking those out uh this weekend as well um i think with blaze blue uh yep yep ps4 and pc not just a piece not just this steam uh version trial but like the console version as well awesome that's fucking sick uh and then yeah this was this was a great headline uh shit um no man sky developer says its next project is pretty ambitious

even if we had a thousand people working on it it would still seem impossible shon shon god damn it shon god damn it isn't that great isn't that great that's great i i can't fucking i gotta applaud that i gotta applaud that that is just you know to come out and just be like still the same ol g you know but i've been low-key to just come out and be like you know what it is you know what i am i feel like they can now do their entire press cycle like it's a normal game and just have that one statement just hang up there and just get attention for them forever

i really do need to go back and play the the final version current no man yeah yeah because like have you ever gone to the website and just scrolled through their patch notes yes not not the patchless but i i i had an update in front of me of like this is everything that's happened it's insane astonishing it's unbelievable crazy yeah yeah so um um yeah uh he sat down uh did an interview and basically it was describing uh that yeah they've got another project in the works for a while now it's been pretty ambitious uh as in the background and uh it's a small team but we like it that way similar to no man sky it's the kind of project that seems impossible even if we had a thousand people working on it um but we're lucky enough

to be able to allow folks to move freely and work on whatever excites them uh and that you know they're just uh they're going for it they're going for it also no man sky is not done by a long shot just for the for the update on that but uh i'm just going through the patch notes of just this one and it's pirates and atmospheric ship combat and newt space stations and fleets and what the cloth now i think i think he just wants to do it again like i think like i think they're like no this is our dev cycle is we're gonna like you know shoot for the sun aim them and land among the stars so to speak but like literally just once again proclaim and possibly promise the world and then take a decade to build it out and get there incredible i i just i don't know man

like after all this time after all this this journey after the initial horrible the the excitement of the build up the horrible press of the initial release the drops the disappointment the slow crawl back to all these updates eventually dropping the new version having the the the and then whenever asked about what the plan is there's just saying just saying we're just going to keep our heads down and do the work and then just putting out like unbelievable levels of quality of life so that the game barely resembles what it was and approaches that promise of what it was supposed to be and you're like yep and now we're gonna do it again and i just i'm like you know what man at least anyone who's excited and interested in what you're doing next knows exactly what they're

in for at least everyone knows what they're getting this time all they have to do is not and when they go through the thing and people go can you do this they go that's not in the game right now that's the phrase because the implication is that it will be in later but you can't get mad that it's not in right now have the trailer show off footage but also have a timeline at the top that travels forward through the years so that you can see that what you're seeing might require a certain point in the timeline before you'll get to that feature you know yeah yeah um anyway that that was incredible waiting the next internet historian video in about five years that that's an incredible moxie and uh you got to admire it

you got to admire it have you seen the uh internet story video on no man's guy i haven't i highly suggest you do so it is the absolute perfect breakdown and roadmap of that game's history to launch and the issues that went into the shit storm that happened it is absolutely stellar okay i mean it's called the in goodening of no man's god yes that rings about you did bring this up last time we talked about it true true true yeah that's that's a that's a fucking it's a decade long story that requires context from top to bottom so yeah good shit um and uh lastly over here there's uh just this bit not much but like it seems like twitter got very excited about nothing because um there was a post that playstation studios put up on a banner

that had all of their famous playstation properties and included in that banner was death stranding so then that led to um completely baseless unfounded rumors and people getting all high on the idea that koji pro was about to be acquired by uh playstation and then no it doesn't mean that at all doesn't mean shit and then that konami's game division specifically their ip's were also going to be acquired and then that step three would be the fusing of them together in just the most fan fictiony wild like yeah this has no bearing on reality we're gonna we're gonna buy koji pro and then metal gear and force him to work on it and then he's gonna show up at my birthday party and then he's gonna be there with yoji real dad and then yeah and then snake will be there and then

yeah so it got some traction enough for kojima to have to come out and go kojima productions is independent and it'll continue to be so this is not a fan i have to say the i don't want to call it the dance every six months of people going metal gears coming back no really gets sadder every time we can't even get the fucking hd collections ported forward in fact i think they're delisted right now i mean and also like let the men move forward you know no let the fucking guy live and do his thing we get it we don't want to no like like it's you know we're clearly there's been so much about that over so much time and like the absolute refusal to let that shit go you know uh i think i can say from uh uh uh a point of potential similarity that at a certain

level it gets kind of disrespectful to be like fuck you man go make the new metal gear it's gonna happen i swear to god it's all gonna go back go go do the thing at a certain point it gets kind of disrespectful it's like the dude's doing other things man if he wants to work on that in the background and like it'll be a huge blow up then he would do it and and pursue those avenues but if he's interested in new things and indicates that that's what he wants to do then fucking that's what he's doing i i literally just want a metal gear collection yeah sure right i don't want i don't want some fucking new bullshit i don't care whatever right that's not let's you're all nuts just just fucking re-release it and put it out

that's it anyways um god bless glad kojima stepped in to say that he's okay and that uh okay koji pro is is is not going to be uh forcefully uh pushed on to the next metal gear project man i can't wait for the next kojima game death stranding had some shit that was wrong with it and it's definitely not a perfect game but god damn was it the most interesting year interesting game in the year came out for all the insane high art concept bullshit that he's been spewing for years it delivered thoughts and conversations that actually lived up to the promise yeah it actually did like the dude sits there and set except for that one except

for that one for sure sure but but but like for a dude who sits there pretending to smoke sitting next to fucking you know someone who i would never take that from i would never accept that from anyone i allow it for him because you know what he did deliver he did deliver at the end of the day it was a very interesting food for thought game um just just take the puns take the damage and then read the read the next log i i have to say woolly though as as much as i really like death stranding you were a lot closer than you should have been with did you know that the s in strand stands for strand you were like you were way closer than you should have been but it's also that again we've we've described this in the past there are very few figures in this industry

that we know so intimately well like do you know what i mean like if it were like we god damn it we fucking know this dude we know him if we had to wine and dine kojima for a night we would know exactly what he loved and how to do it you know what i mean like we know how to lay it all out there it's just it's been his flavor across like seven eight games now um so you just you can fucking predict it you can hard call it you know anyways what's the most pretentious drink on your menu sir i'd need to buy my friend a drink depends on the story that comes with it he will only drink it while cradled in the resentments of his leather jacket um god let's take uh some letters hey if you want to send in a letter go ahead and send it to castle

super beast mail gmail.com that's castle super beast mail at gmail.com okay let's see we got one coming in from dude dooder dare beast coast and best coast uh it was talking to a buddy of mine about weird video game porn and how some people cannot watch regular porn it might even prevent them from forming meaningful relationships because real women can't move like an fps sfm loop uh like a low fps sfm loop do you think there will ever come a day where porn will be accurate to hit boxes containing hurt boxes i was talking to people who need the graphics to be slightly off before they can get off uh have seen some clipping in porn that stuff is rough um quite frankly i think that that could certainly go hyper realistic as we improve

and the unreal engine gets better and stronger however i think that uh what was it what dude was it dooder uh you are probably i think you're being a little too low scope you know i think if your question and desires are for things to uh attain more reality uh i think you're not being conceptual enough about it if you can do whatever you want in a boundless world where anything is possible why try to put more limiters on why not take the limiters off we i just saw in playing ff6 for the first time a mating scene between an esper and a human that consisted of them twirling around each other and flying into space as stardust trailed behind them and somehow that conceived terra i don't know what that looks like uh i i know what that looks

like on a super nintendo but i don't know what that looks like in a vr helmet with the latest technology and quite frankly i think we should be able to figure out what it would look like why take the why put the limiters on when we can take them off why not go further and further beyond where we've ever been that's what i say i i think that if the furries can manage to have sex with their disgusting non anthro bodies that the rest of you freaks will manage somehow if we can achieve peak realism we can surpass it next question or you know what you know what you know what just fuck your whole fuck your dick up fuck it up just fuck your dick up and be like i can only beat it to fucking super deformed

fucking five-limbed black widow shit and just take yourself right the fuck out the game yep where you you're not bothering nobody okay just whatever fuck it up like just like whatever just there you go you are you know born born too late uh uh to experience shut up too late to experience uh you know whatever kind of uh awesome ancient whether it be night or viking warrior life true thing you could have lived but just in time to experience um fucking your dick up on some shit that doesn't exist and never will exist and just taking yourself out of the game completely i mean people who are exclusively into let's see how much i can inflate goliath while he eats a struggling lexington from gargoyles they manage to have sex with people

so if you're talking about your friends have fucked their shit up so bad that they're done then they're just done and that's what they will have now dude it didn't happen by accident sheva's got four arms we can do things we can ascend we can go further beyond um anyways anyways that's how i feel uh we got one over here coming in from aron who says hey william pat come to my attention this june uh is the uh as of this june the year dead island two was announced will be eight years old

i remember seeing it unveiled and i was excited to play it when it came out as i'm sure you know i've never it's never seen the light of day uh and again is probably in on some dev's desk my question is have you ever been excited for something that just fell off the grid and completely never showed up again uh yeah i can think of there's definitely a couple things but uh what comes to mind is and it probably would have it probably would have been terrible but the idea was very exciting for me when they unveiled try gun the planet gun smoke a try gun game back in god knows when i want to say it must have been 2003 um i'm i'm i'm that thing like scale bound was around and we saw it go through we saw the initial reveal and then we saw a bit more you know

what i mean like there was a couple of it was around for a little bit there was a single announcement for try gun the planet gun smoke and then it ceased to exist immediately after that trailer ended and uh that i feel is a better example of like a just a completely ghosted game that was never discussed ever again i forget who i was talking to it might have been you willy but i remember seeing the the trailer refer to a fighter online and i got to the end of the trailer and just went that's that's never coming out that's not a real game yeah yeah yeah yeah that like what the who do you think who the fuck do you think they're like yeah yeah i mean honestly if it's a game or a project where we've heard about it in various states in in terms of news and stuff i'm almost

going like yeah you know like i'm like i think the example here is the one and done right even deep down got mentioned a couple times over the years as we went forward you know um we saw that initial video but then there was there was there was talk about it over time um and that dark stalkers is not dead video was not a an announcement for anything so that doesn't count either i was i was really excited for uh the ps1 version of two human oh yeah if anybody remembers what the fuck that was supposed to be the initial version sure and when you say to who you mean it makes me think of dinosaur planet the initial version of that too oh yeah um anyway similar vein we got one coming in uh here michael says hey starship boivin an imperial

destroyer woolly i was checking in on star citizen again it's budget man at the time of writing has hit a legendary four hundred and forty nine million dollars as of 605 p.m on april 15th 2022 no doubt when this email reaches you it'll be at 450 million by the end of the year it'll be a half billion i have no feelings for the backers since at this point they know that they're funding a man's white whale if it's not a scam if it's an it's an impossible dream my question is when will this finally collapse on itself and when it does what do you think the damage will be what do you think this will do to crowdfunded games has there ever been a failure on this scale before half a billion dollars i don't i like in games i don't think so like that's

since that's unbelievable that's ridiculous i can't i don't think that's ever happened so it's not a failure until they run out of money and that's kind of the problem right uh the people who have bought in to star citizen have bought in so hard that they've got this weird cult thing going on i'll be browsing tiktok and i will like find people talking about star citizen and they're like viciously jerking themselves off as they describe hiding from bounty hunters and then playing the the the limited playable version that currently exists and talking it up and it feels like they're either people that are in on a cult or they're not they're actually like

dev accounts that are pretending to be new players but it's not failed until work stops due to lack of money which could be a while and i think that's what they're banking on i don't know i think that definition has holes in it because work can stop despite lack of money you see if you decide yeah but it won't to cash out it won't there's no cashing out no i suppose not um i mean i've discussed this in the past with um certain uh indie fighting game projects that come out that are uh only available if you sign up to a patreon and i always raise an eyebrow and go whenever i see that because we all know what that looks like and what it looks like is often what

it is which is yeah a complete lack of incentive for the person making this game to ever finish it yeah um so you know buy or be aware on that type of thing but if you decide you're going to subscribe to this and you're happy with what you're getting and at no point are you convinced that like you know um you're wasting your money because you're like no you're you're excited for the non-finished thing you're you're gonna have for the rest of time here then i guess you're a satisfied customer what is there to say you know some people are just bought into it a lot of people who are bought in are very happy with it so that's it and um so it will have the the failure of it has to be runs out of money work stops there's no progress and the majority of people who kicked in money

are unhappy with what they got but the system they have going right now is they're able to attract like super richies for some reason that are able to put down 40 grand on a fucking spaceship that doesn't currently exist um so they can keep working on it for a while yet and they can always choose to focus on people on certain features that people are getting real real mad about a half billion dollars jesus christ uh man yeah yeah um well there i mean i guess that's an answer of sorts is that like they've created a system where you know um they don't have to it doesn't have to crash if they don't feel like it as long as they don't stop as long as they're able to secure more funding

it's less of a scam and more of a pyramid scheme and there's always there's always more underneath the surface from you know the in terms of like where are these whales coming from and what do you what do you where how is how like how is this coming together where is the actual funding but if you're seeing people like you said like come about and you know appear to be satisfied with the the incomplete product then then they have the right to spend their money that way um anyway anyway uh let's take one here uh yeah we got so i look over here after getting a text where page says that she looks like the joker now and i look over and she's got a huge wad

of tissue in the side of her mouth with blood all over it because she was cutting this fancy cheese that i'm eating and then she cut some of the old fancy cheese and decided to lick the fancy cheese knife that is very sharp and cut her mouth did she joker scar her mouth maybe a little bit maybe a little bit all right so page do you need my help right now yeah is that okay is everything okay okay she says she thinks she's fine do you want to go verify that or i'm not gonna take the tissues out i can't see it from here so it can't be that bad oh god okay all right let's let's wrap and um let's wrap it up all right everybody uh that's that's that's a podcast where are you

of road cheese and knives um yeah deal with situations that are that are popping up have a good week everybody we'll see you what the fuck bye