Castle Super Beast - CSB 164: At Some Point The Title Will Just Become Fartfartbabybarf

Episode Date: April 26, 2022

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Bad Vegan: Dog Immortality & The Meat Suit Sega Unironically Hire This Man WTF is Vampire Survivor Frostpunk: Manage Your Apocalyptic Child Labour You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://hellofresh.com/superbeast16 and use code superbeast16 for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts. -- Go to http://shopify.com/superbeast to get a 14-day free trial. Sonic Origins' bizarre DLC and pre-order bonuses Sega is reportedly working on big-budget reboots of Crazy Taxi and Jet Set Radio New mod turns Elden Ring into a seamless co-op game Guilty Gear: Strive DLC ‘Another Story’ launches April 29 It Takes Two movie enters development at Amazon, Dwayne Johnson may star, Sonic the Hedgehog film writers also onboard Devastating: Hajime No Ippo doujin fighting game will never be released The source for the voice clip that plays when a Super Meter is filled in Street Fighter III: Third Strike comes from 1966's Batman series Syphon Filter 1, 2, Dark Mirror, and Logan’s Shadow rated for PS5 and PS4 in Korea Yoji Shinkawa wants to design a real life car  

I Know Hey, good afternoon Willie good afternoon everybody How are you today? All right? Top is fed. I'm I'm top is fed. I'm fed as fuck Was that are you top? well, I Get are you bullying the lane? I guess well if it's the gut

It's my stomach, then I guess mid is fed I should say that would be mid Yeah, that would be your damage deal. That would be the damage dealer. Well, no the bottom bottom row The damage comes out of the bottom row Yeah, yeah, is that fed is it carry going backwards. You carry your bot The So basically I got me Some of that good pizza I don't know. Oh that good pizza from that place. Yep. So there's there's the legendary pizza joint, right?

It's the fucking the best pizza you can get in the goddamn province is Como Pizza and it is off of the island out in the farms and It's way it's so it's such a fucking pain in the ass to get there and they're the best But they do not give a shit a single solitary shit about making money as much as they just want to be comfortable and make the best pizza which is insanely respectable and so That has been the the deal and it's like you can't there's no delivery

There's no you got to go out and get it and that or go in and sit down and eat it there and that's about it And it's just and it's it's to be said that it's not just out there. It's far away from everything. Yeah. Oh, yeah No, there's nothing that it's close to it's not even close to a town. No matter where you are coming from You're crossing one of the many bridges off of the island to go in to get to it But once you get there, it's the best fucking pizza. It's just that simple so you got a You know, you got to basically plan for when you're gonna do it However, that has been facilitated with our acquisition of a vehicle

So We are now capable of getting out there on our own time and that's nice Nah, nah We just got one or are we talking about kites? Not kites. I had kites. I have various kites I have kites that in various forms kites for days You don't have a vehicle based kite. No, no, but one has been acquired and The problem is that now it allows direct access to this giant Carby cheesy

Italian sausage to pizza at any time And that's nice and and it's also opened you up to the nightmare of hey, let's go somewhere We could just go just go you could just go no But now we have to park the fucking car in the most hostile fucking city in the world For parking. Yeah, we're gonna figure. We're gonna figure out what to do In most cases, I think it's just bite the bullet and pay it for some some lot somewhere but Yeah, I think I think at the very least when it comes to getting about the city

I'm still gonna just do what we do But when it comes to going elsewhere and being able to just I don't know fucking get in the car and go somewhere That unlocks the map a little bit, you know So that's cool Having my wife drive me around was a big freedom thing. I liked it when it happened. Yeah, that's it's cool I I mean I I uber about for the most part anyway, you know, but And and that's the thing too is I don't want to be like a pain in the ass for for punch mom if possible, you know Which is why the like, you know, the proper responsibility of learning how to fucking

Drive one of these things also comes along with it but uh We got a learning drive. Yeah Yeah, I think it's gotten past the point though of like there's no like it's everyone at first It was just like oh, this is it's so weird How do you not and then I've been able to demonstrate that like it's because everyone that lives in a small city in In a city environment doesn't need it growing up. So that's just the way it is and That's been established at this point, but it doesn't change the fact that it's like it's like, okay fair enough, right?

I no longer think you're insane for not having that it makes sense that you and most people that you grew up with didn't have that But you should still go and do it though and it's like well, yeah I mean, I'm in a situation where like not I'm in you know, everywhere out here. You need to drive Right, I'm gonna need to drive to period, right? but also I mean, you've known me a long time Willie when I'm sitting in the passenger side with a page driving along I may on occasion say some smart Alec bullshit

Which Leads to the car stopping at the side of the road and been like I'll turn this fucking thing around kick you out on the side Of the road and I'm like, will you will you know you won't cuz you love me and she's like you see That's that's the mistake Me knowing that I am not in the seat of power have recognized the need to become the ultimate copilot I Can say with some pride and confidence that I am an amazing copilot

For the maps for the music for I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and say Congratulations to you on becoming such a great copilot once you've in become inside the car Because in my experience you are not the most amazing copilot in the world in terms of maps Okay, and following things such as guides and instructions on what places to go Well, we're not right. We're not recording an LP when we're living in the real world, but in the sense of getting getting where we need to go and just making sure the driver is comfortable knows what to do knows when to Do what and all that shit. I'm taking care of it. I'm making sure that I can do all that that because I

Quite frankly, I mean I it's the best I can do if I'm not able to trade off for taking the wheel when you know A certain amount of hours pass or whatever the case is, you know And and getting used to that of course with like the New Zealand trip and then with the The Iceland one and stuff like you know, I've gotten a good feel for yeah What what what punch bombs gonna need for for hitting the road for a duration so But anyway all of that to say that well Congratulations on the on the modicum of new freedoms you have obtained with the power of wheels Yeah, it's

It was one of those things where It was it was the plan was again to kind of it happened a little bit earlier than expected in the sense that a family member that Basically has been injured and isn't able to use their vehicle anymore was able to just be like hey you guys can make use of this and was very generous of them to Do that so we're like, okay. Well that that we got it faster than expected, but here we are

and Yeah, I think I'm gonna Crack open that old fucking Get your permit book from 2002 that I have on a shelf there and Start thumbing through it. You know That's the move gotta get you so for Americans Who don't know this when I explain this to page your eyes pretty much bugged out over fucking head so woolly and I are basically both gonna be shortly in

Engaging in the act of getting your learner's permit Which is I mean you got to have a real driver in the passenger seat to backseat you unironically and tell you that you're about to run over that small family in the sidewalk You get that at six months, right? I believe that's what it was On Quebec and it's the same out here and then you got to wait fucking 18 more months For the full license

Yeah, and to make sure that you're not just trying to do initial D style Wagon midnight races And that you're you're actually a sane person behind the wheel of this giant Death machine if you wanted it to be it's 12 months in BC Okay, be a real driver before you ha ha Yeah, well I as long as I pass by fucking test Yeah, I've I've uh, it's it's interesting with me because I I mean I know that it's totally like fucking Children at 14 are learning to you know parallel park properly and shit, so it's not a big deal in any way

But I just know that early on I always had reservations because I didn't like the Not having a feel for the size of the vehicle and how much space is in front and behind me and like That was always something that was like oh man like I guess you just grow accustomed to it But oh, yeah I wanted to get a motorcycle license for the longest while not just because I like motorcycles But also because like I have a much clearer sense of the size that I occupy On the road on a motorcycle versus a giant car, you know So it's fun that you it's fun the fun fact you mentioned that because when me and Paige were going across country with the rv

Uh page has been driving since uh, she was like I want to say like 15. She's like proper american car It's part of growing up, right? So she's been a a driver forever, right? And she's a pretty good driver Uh and as she likes to say she's never been in an accident that she has caused um However driving the rv led to Pat get out of the car Because the rv is a truck. It's like a pickup truck chassis

With like a massive amount of shit bolted onto it that adds uh up to it's like nine feet wide as opposed to six feet Basically and so your intern the way she described it is that your internal sense of where the car is Is off by multiple feet in every direction So there was a lot of like get out of the car. I feel like i'm gonna hit it Yeah, and then I get out and i'm like you're literally two feet away And she's like are you sure i'm like i'm sure She's like okay, and then it's fine Like the loss of that feel is horrible you need to be the orbiting camera on the outside

Uh alternatively, I don't know if you've seen it, but there's uh Those videos of like dogs that are trained to tell you how far to back up and then went to stop It's awesome straight up just like you know like they're doing the paw paw paw paw. Okay stop off arf arf You know Oh, that's great. So They those are skills that can be learned. Um So now I've never driven a car that being said I've played racing games. I'm sure it'll be fine Oh, yeah, I mean we did we did the la noir lp in which you famously demonstrated your expert driving skills

So I had I see no issue With you in the future hit the r-button swerve the the wheel to the left and wait for the blue sparks It's real easy sure I think uh, I think I think we're gonna be fine so I'm sure it'll be fine. How hard could it be? Yeah again, if 14 year olds are out and the boonies figuring it out can't be that big of a

hard cut to the fucking It's always sunny music cut to the news article hard cut to the it's always sunny music Yeah Anyways don't drive so good upside down um Yeah So so that's that's that's happening um

And then I guess I'll just go from there Um, just go for it. I have continued. I have it's been decided That we are continuing the Uh, the trend that was started. So there's a genre on netflix that has popped up that is the I talked about tinder swindler not long ago. Yeah. Yeah, you did and the turn and so there's a whole bunch of these this thing and uh, it's best described as the Gwyneth paltrow goop audience

gets like completely Ripped off for hundreds of thousands of dollars after Falling in love with a complete con artist and now here's the documentary about how stupid they were Can I ask you for the audience? To explain exactly what you mean By the Gwyneth paltrow goop audience I know exactly what you mean, but there are those that may not

Okay. Well, uh Straight up it is quite some quite usually your Uh early 20s to anywhere up to your like mid 30s aged, uh Like typically, uh business oriented usually white girl going through the um

whether going through the different lifestyles of uh, whether it's chakras rakeys candles I interest you in a crystal. Uh, perhaps some crystals whatever type of special healing definitely doing the The you know all your your your your your basic bitch Wears and and and pumpkin spice lattes, etc Three or four mimosas at brunch before driving to the office most definitely and uh, yeah

And then and all in all whatever type of uh, complete woo woo healing life memes can be Shared on their instagrams every single day non-stop Are blasted At full volume so Just the the the people who lean into all of that they go to the experimental yoga and then they do the The just yes the the the crystal rakeys and whatnot Aligning the chakras

It's it's not quite the same as the Karen It's getting into the it's getting into the woo woo and it's and it's uh, uh anyways, it's that and uh, so these these these Documentaries tend to focus on those who just happen to also be You know playing the dating game or doing whatever they're doing and then

Getting suckered in somehow by Some massive crook And then we get to follow the story of how bad it goes from there because The the origin point is always one that's recognizable But then the the the reason why the cameras get together and film the story and put the documentary together Is but not because of where it starts but always because of where it ends And so in this case, uh the next in that genre that we started watching is bad vegan is what it's called Okay, and bad vegan. It's a four episode one. I've only seen two of the four episodes so far. So I can't even give you the complete take on

Where it ends but it is absolute just uh eyes glaze over at like The setup which is what I described that type of person Uh, yes, and they also in this particular case they happen to have the biggest trendiest most successful raw vegan food restaurant in new york city

And uh our story starts there where um Through various twitter interactions and friendships with mutuals uh umphies, I guess would be the word one of my mutual friends Through being umphies with alex baldwin um Our protagonist she meets, uh This mysterious twitter guy who makes these fun Uh little quips and then manages to parlay those into a date

And manages to par that parlay that into a relationship where, uh It becomes a situation where she's this super successful multimillionaire business owning vegan restaurant queen running that that world in the city with like Celebrities walking through the kitchen type of shit And then this dude shows up

uh humongous Cheeto stains on the t-shirt kind of thing Yeah, and uh More or less establishes that like okay by He sets up he sets up like two things right off the bat one at one point She walks into a room and he has his his his laptop open looking at drone footage

And then he he minimizes it and then like locks the computer to like a cia locked background Like uh and basically he's like i i can't have you seeing my work Um, it's you know, please please tell me wouldn't please knock before you and she's like oh my goodness. Oh wow, okay, and then Uh, just to get yeah, babe, you know, I just the type of work I do You don't really you don't want to know about it But I do the type of work that keeps people like you safe at night You know and and looking into the distance type of shit sets that up

I I wish I wish there was an audio way I could get like yeah, it's the glazed look on my face across Right you set that up you establish that this is what you do And this is why you're mysterious and why you're back and forth and you're never quite in the same place uh, even though he's just driving in from Ohio and uh and this somehow uh, then escalates to

a point where through drip feed He is able to get her to more or less subscribe to a one-man cult That is him Promising that if he if that by following the instructions He lays out very carefully and to the tee by sending her sending him lots of money She will be able to obtain immortality for her and her dog So that in the next life as when this one moves on they will be together forever

With her and her immortal dog Um, you know what you know what I love about these stories You ever hear you ever see people that like unironically or like, ah, you know if you work hard You'll get rich or rich people earned it or one of that shit And you watch shit like this and then you watch shit like Fucking tiger king you watch all this shit. It's like there is no correlation to any worldly state to any level of

Intelligence whatsoever. There is nothing and in fact these types of rich people Are often apparently way easier to scan This is the like the under the underlined message when you're watching these things and like this was a big part of like The the the problem I have with watching some of these is that when they're telling you How dumb and insane the story gets you can only get those details by having the person Uh, who's in the who's like the victim of the scam On board and to get them on board you have to tell their story and to tell their story in a way that they approve of They cannot be made to look as insanely stupid as they clearly are

So there is tons and tons of padding Around because you're like, how do we get to the the dog mortality? Like the dog immortality is going to be clearly the stinger here How do we get to that and you have to pad it with tons and tons of Shit to try and make it seem as if oh anybody in this circumstance that happened to be if you were in her shoes You would have fell for it too and it's like absolutely not never worked. This is never it never comes through But here's the thing they're showing this to people the people who have already fallen for it Who have proven themselves susceptible to this kind of manipulation and even this weak sauce fucking pussy shit version of

See anyone could fall for it. They're like see See anyone could have fallen for it anybody see see how see how Genius this was and they all the producers are sitting there going like yeah Totally and every single time this happens They have the one that pops in my my mind right now is tiger king for example Every time it happens is like They record all the footage and they take every interview and they get every fact

And then the fucking thing comes out and all the people in it start to go no no no wait wait wait wait No no no you made me look bad and it's like we showed you it before it went out I mean you okayed it you thought it was cool It's like you're just mad because everyone's calling you a stupid dumbass The power of editing can do a lot but but like whenever but when it's When they are there to anyway when they're Making sure that the image is softened enough like I have to basically i'm cutting in to go Hey like like pause by the way

Recognize that like in this moment here. They've cut away from the story to show you how great of a person this is because Here's that homeless guy that lives on her block who she became friends with And here's the story the purposes of this bit. Yeah, and here's establishing how this homeless guy was like Oh, yeah, she's the best. I love her and her dog is great and she's such a good person And you know and then it's just like there's and the only point of establishing that is to just be like look No, this is this is a normal good person. See it's totally totally not her fault that she fell for this dumb shit um And of course and then there's the starting with the success of course with the of the business and everything where

The beginning of the story, you know, they they it's a very quick hand wave certainly to establish that um, you know after graduating and going into a financial Um wall street institution and working there and making tons of money, of course She decided that her passions were in in food And she mentions of course that you know based on that and and and I guess on what she had beforehand She wasn't too strapped for cash So she was able to then go to culinary school and go get right through it

And then no problem and then set up the restaurant and then hey all good She got her two million dollar loan and then got the whole thing set up and great and got her business going and bam it popped off Right, but that's all prologue. That's not really that's not You don't worry about about that part too much the The idea is that of course someone who is at the top of their industry here. Um, yeah No matter No matter What level of success you're looking at with this stuff? You cannot correlate that to their own

Uh, you cannot attribute that to their own genius or business acumen more than half the time especially when it comes to the world of Raw vegan food. I mean I have nothing against a good green diet That's what everyone I grew up with ate as a part of the the health message of the religious thing but You're not gonna avoid The the trend like they're showing you the trendiness of this type of place and the people who work here and And the the managers and the and the and the waiters and waitresses are all also the types that are like

Yes, raw vegan food and crystals and reiki healing. These are cool things. I mean, they're in new york, right? Yes, new york has like a whole neighborhood dedicated to these people And you know, so you just you can't get past that that point certainly of just being like Yeah, you're set up to be the type of person that wants to believe in the nonsense and uh, I want to believe So this fucker that comes in is gets to a point where he sets the of that whole game And then like that and that's why you need to transfer me $10,000 immediately no questions asked and I'm not gonna do anything with the money I'm just gonna put it on a shelf and it's just proof that this money means nothing

Because you're looking for the happily ever after with you and the dog that live forever If you want to get that send me the money and send me your credit card with the three digits on the back It's the only way to get to the happily ever after the only way Um, uh, you know, I think about this and I think about like man being a con artist Is a fascinating profession because it is an art And it's an art that gets to be improved over time cumulatively Because there are no new scams

Like now that I'm just remasters recently Happy birthday to me But whatever I'm old enough to look back at the history of my life and go through like well as a kid There's Nigerian email scams All the way up to cryptocurrency now and it's like there is no new Racket it is always an old racket with a new code of pay something about the pyramid scheme for example Is like hard coded into people's fucking there is a certain percentage of people That will fall for any form of pyramid scheme every time every single time

And this one too the relationship magic well opportunity Investment fucking things. So what you're describing is like if you have a tinge of that hustle culture that hustle blood You know if you got hustle blood in you then you're just going to look on the opportunity to make one up and And and get on up, you know, um stay on that grind, you know But in this particular case stay on that sigma mindset. Absolutely the sigma grind set. What are you talking about, baby? I don't know what i'm talking about All right Listen

The thing about the remix though is that it it always That that's what's refreshing and fun to follow the story of is like how we're gonna get what's the gimmick What's the remix? What's the remix this time? You know, how are you gonna do it? Like yeah, that makes sense So like with the with the tinder swindler it was well with the use of tinder I have the fastest possible source of marks that has been available to anyone ever in the history of anything Yes, so good for them. I guess but the like what is going to be the scam super turbo championship edition? Right, how do we get it to how do we get it to that next level and in this case? How far can you go with it? um

You start with you start with the cia minimizing moments Right, that's good. You get in there nice and clean You set up the possibility of the future and the immortality with the dog, of course And then um, but at the same time you've got to live your life, right? So when you're living your life, which consists of sitting on Her couch and eating your Cheetos and just having And spending all her money and doing nothing. Yes, right good and She's like you're fucking gross. This is you're disgusting

excellent, um the move is to establish that um no, no You're misunderstanding this fat body. I have is the meat suit And I'm wearing the meat suit. This is where my spirit has been. This is what I've been given and your mission Is is to deliberately

Be unattracted to this form of my meat suit body So that we I'll know that you're really down for the cause and really dedicated, right? You're supposed to be unattracted to this body that I have but I'll get the real one later You know, it's great, but I'm gross on purpose Because this is after the first ten thousand dollar Purchase of nothing. Oh, we're in the hundreds of thousands of dollars at this point. Okay. So at this point This is this is the genius of this kind of racket Let's say they have doubts

Right, let's say they have doubts because what you just said to me woolly is fucking stupid, right? But let's say they have doubts, right? The nature of the fact that they've already kicked in 200 grand means that they're like No, no, it has to be I wouldn't have I wouldn't have just given 200 grand to some slob on my couch And that's exactly what she says once the tape recording of the conversation is played and he's talking about the meat suits and such That's where it's like, okay at a certain point. You're like, well Sunk cost fallacy. We're in it. We're in it and it's more comfortable to just

disappear into the belief that It'll that me and the dog are going to get that immortality, right? And and also, of course, you have to sprinkle in a little bit of that Scientology flavoring of like if you're successful. It's because Um, that's what the universe owes you Right magic. It's of your own making the the it's the secrets. It's uh Fucked up a new age version of karma this complete nonsense. You are special. Um, Mm-hmm And then whenever things get a little bit too complacent whenever things get a little bit too idle

You have to make sure that just like the tinder swindler a sense of urgency can be kicked up at any moment and in this case The dude's evil twin brother Might be coming for him at any moment At any moment his evil twin brother She You've been diving into these for a bit. Do you get the feeling that there's a point in the hustle? That they're like man, they're into me for like 300k. This has been a year right

Let's just see what I can get away with Because you just said evil twin brother I often wonder right off the bat How much of that is going on right how far can I push this right? How and like on the other line didn't be like holy shit. I can't believe You know, we're actually getting away with if I got them to believe this But can I get them to believe this? But when you hear in this particular context and again, this is a bad vegan when you hear the context of

uh him Try well like she's pissed off and like, you know, I'm starting to suspect that this is I have something fishy about what's going on here And he's like what no fuck off. No, that's not that's not you're wrong And he's exploding in these ways that are just like, oh, no, you're kind of ill as well And you're kind of believing in it But you also have enough of your faculties about you to realize how you can profit off of this

You know, yeah And and it really also just You know any so or anytime you have someone like that and they're and they're surrounded by People who you know, I guess should be giving the Advice to be like, hey, are you okay? And in this case they are But you're coming from this world where like More woo-woo equals good

You know, um, it's good. It it's gonna be hard to not spiral It's it's funny because like there's the three general stages that i'm dividing up in my head But I mean you could there's many subdivisions, right? There's what i'm gonna call the pure money hustle, which is Give me some money. I'll give you more money back and you're like this sounds like bullshit But no, no, you could get a lot of money, right and every variation they're on There's what you're describing right now, which is a combination of love and maybe a little bit of magic Right, but also money and then you get like we live in a world in which people will sign up and within three meetings of like a wellness clinic They'll have like some old guy be like, okay, so you give me all of your money

And I fuck your wife and You don't fuck your wife And you'll get to go to heaven with me and there are people who go. Yeah. Oh, yeah Hmm Okay Yeah, i'm gonna go sell my house. Give me a second, man You sure about this? Yeah

I'll also like I really You're underrated in Suicide Squad really and Morbius just More Morbius, that's what I'd like to say. How about that get that sweep going You gotta you got it's it's it's a it's a real It's a real I hope the fucking the use of the term sweep every time I hope gets me it's so consistent I hope it lasts for years I hope years from now

We are still referring to the hashtag Morbius sweep I hope that when you when you click on that hashtag, you know, you see the journey over a decade of a lifetime um I i'm i'm it's really a particular flavor of of genre that is just like It's it's incredible because you're watching in bewilderment of like how dumb the person is But like in in yeah, like in this case again, the story's not done yet But it's like you're you have to fight against the way this is edited to try and present this person as normal As an everyday victim and it's it couldn't possibly be fucking further from the truth, you know, it never is it never is never never

Yeah, and and so I don't know at some point they you know, you have your little stingers and the and Uh, one of them is the the you know, like the part where it's like, okay so I'm going to introduce you to my associate and He's the person you're going to need to give all of your financial information to all of your your numbers your credit cards Your bank info all the account data Um, you're just going to need to give that to him for security, of course because when I go on these black ops Right, there's people out to get us and we need to make sure that we stay in a secure location So, you know and then like um and then the documentary starts filming the associate

That is involved in this somehow, you know, so I will see we'll see but um Yeah, it turns out there's quite a few of these, you know There's I heard about another one called like inventing Anna, but I think that's like not a documentary I think it's just like a dramatization of a real story about Someone who came in pretended to be a princess in new york and Fraught at a bunch of rich people out of a ton of money to to get like a Like a like some crazy fucking 50 million dollar loan or some shit like that. I don't know

um And and a bunch of other stuff, you know, uh, but I just I just wish there could be a like just a a a Directors cut or commentary to this stuff where they're just like Yeah, this is the part that we had to Edit around to make the person that's the victim here seem a little less stupid

This is the part where we're putting in the fluff piece about, you know, uh, uh, How great life was and this is the part where all the friends are going like yeah from the time She walked in with this guy. I just got a bad vibe. I just got a bad vibe about this guy bad vibe You know and you're like, I'm sure that was all what you told them at the moment, of course, right? I'm sure this is all this is totally not in retrospect doing a retcon Nice to meet you Wow really immortality, you know, it's It's I don't know about you. Willy. I've gotten the bad a bad vibe from people before I've I've I've met people

I don't know about them or I don't really feel They're trustworthy based off of like nothing Um, the people that get like hyper scammed I'm gonna call it in these types of situations by people telling them. Oh magic and the government Um, I don't believe they have this ability To feel a bad vibe. I feel this is a a a thing that they lack I general I it's either that or They have it but what they want out of reality

Is so much stronger And they're willing to compromise any other sense in order to to hope and believe in the magic You know the desire to believe in the magic outweighs all other common sense um, so It's it's one of these things that I read somewhere a million years ago like as a kid and it's like it's stuck with me Uh, oh, I remember where it was from the sort of truth Fantasy novel series it's a villain's monologue, but it's actually it's one of those little pieces of thing that's stuck with me It's like the easiest way to get to be able to believe anything is to tell them either what they want to hear or what they're afraid of hearing

And in this particular scam, it's both. It's both. It's both. It's absolutely both. Yeah Here's what you want, but here's what would happen if not your dog dead Don't you want your dog to live forever? Yeah, this is so, you know, again, I'm gonna have to see where this goes, but um It it it feels as if there's always another one of these stories just around the corner um, as there's a sucker born every minute and Um, a fool and his money are soon quickly separated All right, so

Um Yeah, uh, uh, I'll report back on on on on what what becomes of bad vegan Although terrible title that tells you nothing about what what this is about. Yeah, I thought this is gonna be like I'm running a vegan restaurant and Uh, there's 10 pigs in every soybean I mean It it it seems it's that would be a bad vegan. Yeah, it seems like the restaurant is not the the the problem here and is in fact the restaurant is is

like You know, uh elevated to this plateau of like it was such a great time and everything was perfect Until this guy came along, you know, so Yeah, if everything was perfect, why were you so desperate to uh to latch on to this when it had the moment I had It sounds like you were actually desperate deep down in your heart for something so um Man, there's a type of person out there that can just smell

internalized human misery from like a distance of like 100 feet Yeah, and they just lock on to the most vulnerable stupid person And it's like it's a superpower and you can either commit to a one-on-one lifelong uh Omni swindle Or you can start selling vagina candles, you know take your pick you could yeah, but um But that's I think I I'm gonna I'm gonna put out a public health advisory right now

It's normally I wouldn't say this but you know, we're bringing up the Gwyneth Paltrow, which means people go look this stuff up Gwyneth Paltrow will occasionally give you advice on uh broths and or tinctures to uh, let's sit in your vagina um Don't do that. You could die unironically She put out on twitter like I like to Put this steamed Fucking cabbage up my pussy and a bunch of er nurses were like you'll die

If you do that don't do that Don't don't fuck with the bacteria in there. It's it's the way toxic shock is a real thing. Yeah, don't do it. Yeah um anyway so That's bad vegan and and more more on that more on that as we get there. Um I'll let you know um

other things Uh this this week, uh, we can we can god I wish I was rich enough to casually endanger my life through vaginal additives And just know that some fancy doctor would just pull whatever they need to out of my body and go. Oh, no silly person You silly person don't put that in there I mean it really is just It like

When you talk about a target audience Like like it is a crosshair locked you know Z targeted charged full vector canon sequence like Like target audience That you're unleashing and you're full salvo into I I I'll take all of them talk to this this con person and be like I need to know what five questions you ask every person

To determine just how much of a mark they are because I bet you could totally do it in five questions Probably less and I mean and it possibly what's your sign? What number one with a bullet? Yeah, sure sure um It feels as well though that like there's a if you're aware of the of like legal Uh tiptoeing you also can realize when Being in a relationship with someone and having them just gift you tons of money

and or like Opening up accounts joints together is not the same as you just shocked walking in and robbing them Right, there's a voluntary aspect which creates a legally dubious situation once the jig is up, you know Did they really steal from you ma'am because we have you on video going I love giving you money Anyway, and you signed it and there's a notary. He was there Oh Play it for the jury play play it for the jury

Yeah, um It's uh, it's uh, it's a good time, but not really So anyway, I played some games. It's it's it's a whole genre. It's an entire genre Based off you watching it with your arms crossed me like oh, man Yeah, I wouldn't have fallen for that in a second. Yeah What am I rude? But the but the reason why like I bring up the the the the the target audience especially is because like It has to start in a way where you can self insert from the beginning, you know, so when they show you

Uh, this like absolute like boss bitch queen vegan crushing it living her best life um and and Then they just kind of established that and then people don't know everyone thinks it's a perfect smiles and happiness on the outside, but deep down there's pain because Um, this man came into my life and you know, it was a devastating moment It's like, yeah

Everyone of in that group is inserting into that description They're all able to fucking Uh dojin protagonists their way into that Yeah, and to them to them the genre changes. It's not a smug like oh man. Look at these idiots. It's like That's so sad. That could just cautionary tale That could have been anyone. How could she have known and then a couple mimosas later It's like I love my dog and I would want my dog to live forever Okay, who would turn that down if someone were to offer you how could you do it?

How could you turn it down? Don't you love your children? You just don't understand trisha you bitch. I love my dog You know and it you do yeah, and then you just it it becomes a cautionary tale instead of a Holy shit. Would you look at this? You know um Anyway, anyway, um I'm just think I'm just trying to think up like

I'm just trying to think of like the fastest mark Acquirement system, and I'm just thinking of like Like a street magic card trick Right like literally like card hustlers and Right and then they go wow. How'd you know that and you go? It's because I'm magic and if they go wow You got him. You got him. They believe in magic. It's not that it's a trick It's not that I'm good with my hands or any other pickup line. It's

wow And you're like, you know I could teach you to be magic too. Mm-hmm really Yeah And then they bent over and then they pet your dog and they're like They're there phyto see phyto likes me like how did you know? And like it's like it's not like he's wearing a dog tag with the name on it or anything You know it's it's just or it's not like prior to this you smeared some meats on your hand So like hey, you want to hear a magic trick?

I take the dog out for a walk and there's some old man having a smoke outside a building And the dog just almost pulls me over trying to get to this old man This gruff old man is a doggy Oh, oh, you like me, huh? And it's the favorite person the dog's ever seen because I'm talking to the butcher outside the grocery On his smoke break. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right Smells like a good time. But what it he's just got away with dogs dude. It sees magic. He's magic Um

Yeah, yeah Anyways, um, we'll check back in with these fucking idiots later uh, so Is it is it wrong of me that I want the story to like stop having the person's narration and switch to like their their sister because like they died Like somehow in this story, I mean like led to their inevitable death Well, I think that it's like the the the way these things go is like From the jump you realize that this is going to be a tale of of lies

and betrayal and and financial You know scams, but there's an understanding that like I don't think anyone got physically hurt or like You know what I mean? Like there was no actual it has it never gets to the point of like and then there was a murder mystery You know, um I I knew a friend through I knew an acquaintance through a friend And she met this guy online and was like dude. Oh my god. It's it's really Oh, we're gonna oh, he's so great and he's rich And he's oh my god, and it's like

Well, where is he live? I'm gonna go visit him and stay with him for a couple months In country I have literally never heard of in my life And just like every single internal thing just went Yeah Yeah, and he's so rich Yeah Yeah I mean that's and that's yeah, don't do that

I mean don't do that They love to gloss over those moments because it's like, you know, I talked to like in in twin detender swindler There's the whole like and then we went on this perfect amazing first date where he flew me in his private jet Out to paris and and then back over the weekend and it was like, oh my god, right? And uh, but you know, so then I kind of was said, yeah, maybe I might be interested in this guy And in this particular case, it's like so then one day he takes me up to Like one of the most expensive jewelers in all of new york city And we just start looking at a number of diamonds and we just start browsing and the people there are treating him like

Like a friend on a first name basis And he's just you know, he's just saying yeah, just just take a look at what you like here Just just you know, try on this try on that and see you tell me let me know what you like And then of course they walk out not actually buying anything But after that, you know, I guess I don't know I maybe started to maybe feel something and it's like, yeah Of course you did You know and like and it's just this weird thing where they like in in the way they frame it She's just like yeah, so we did that and then I don't know

I guess I kind of fell a little bit like oh this might be very nice And so then we went down to city hall and got married, you know And you're like, you know what my favorite my favorite version of the scam is It's it's what you're describing right now with a single twist Uh, it is one of the bigger scams perpetrated in tiger king. It is an investment scam. It is a love scam It is it's every single thing. It is such I am starting to doubt That this person I keep paying

Is doing anything but robbing me Right. I'm beginning to doubt that my banker My investment guy my My funding guy the guy I'm seeing Whatever Right and so then they go. Oh come on and they take you out on the nicest dinner possible That money can buy they bring you to their expensive penthouse or mansion And they give you some massive gift

That they don't Tell you that they bought you with your money That they gave you And that the the place they were at was rented for one day For the purposes of showing to you And they're literally just feeding you your own money back to you with the facade

Um That again if you're dumb enough then that'll that'll fucking work and desperate Um, all I know is I I don't know what's coming But all I know is based on the the the introductions in the in the in the first episode in the trailer that at some point uh her employees at the restaurant are protesting with signs outside saying pay us our fucking money And they're they're they're demonstrating outside outside the restaurant because apparently

They have not been getting paid for god knows how long And then also at some point They are literally fugitives on the run from the police as they're trying to escape the law For a a couple months or for a year or so hiding from hotel room to hotel room Um, and I believe this could happen that anybody Will he who hasn't dipped into the payroll or the pension fund to you know from time to time I mean you just put it right back and and and the the the way that they got caught is because they ordered a fucking

Like a domino's pizza or some shit to the room and had their names on it. Yeah, it it just You know So you're like wow, this is a whole lot of buttering up to get to a point where These employees had to go on strike to get their fucking money You know, so please play the violin and tell us about how sad it was You know that she fell down this rabbit hole and that's why she was exploiting her workers, you know, please go on Tell me tell me more um

All right, I've been trying to segue and and you've been yanking me back here. I know but it's it's a fun conversation What can I say? Yeah, um I got nothing else on it for for now at least, you know, we're gonna have to see what happens by episode four Okay, well in any case it was uh, uh, not much else, but um, We played sonic smackdown the final version

This week and this is The sonic fighting game that's really fucking good As I've mentioned before as opposed to the other one as opposed to the other one Um, this one is basically built to feel Like marvel Oh, I'm yeah, I'm looking at a trailer right now I could tell just from like two seconds of footage and a lot of moves resemble moves you've seen in marvel when you When you pick shadow the hedgehog

He can do a super that puts spinning projectiles around him and then he can teleport left right or above you To mix you up I just saw knuckles do a fucking shinshaw. He literally did knuckles does a shinshaw you could You know, um, yeah So and not to mention uh shadows level three being one where time stops and he turns around and faces the camera as multiple summon blades stab you From above, you know, so yeah wonder what that's about

Um, it's great. It's really really fun and the last time I played it uh a while ago is like two years ago or so It had you know, maybe like 12 characters Um, and they've since updated it quite a fucking bit and they've put like everyone in it. It's got like all Your sonic regulars. It's got the chaotix um Fucking big the cat is in there And when you play big the cat He has a fishing mini game inside of the fighting game

Where you you cast and then there's a timing bar for like pulling the fish in You know, uh, uh to like do a big old yank that then lets you do a combo afterwards and stuff Uh, and then they added like, um immoral from a sonic uh battle As a playable character and then like they just fucking they went all out including

Uh, mr. Fucking ballon from ballon wonderworld even the top hat guy with the with the dreads there The the cool the one cool-looking dude from ballon wonderworld Because you know, why not and uh, he does any and he does literally just dr. Strange shit i of agamotto Etc. Um So that's that's a fun one, uh as well. But yeah, this this game is is is incredible. Um They have like not just metal sonic, but mecha sonic from the archie comics Um, they go they go above and the beyond like mecha sonic a lot better from than metal sonic

Absolutely mecha sonic is my main mecha sonic is fucking awesome. Um He's cooler looking like just he's it's more intimidating and he's bigger and furthermore You've got a giant list of levels with all the best music from one two three adventure Uh, and when it cut and like even when it's like, um, it's got that one Level from unleashed where it's playing the good track with the with the uh, uh, I think temple run or whatever it's called. It's the it's the fucking it's the best song It's the it's the awesome song from the trailer, you know, so uh, yeah Just an awesome love letter fighting game and and we had a good time with that

They're working on a new version that has rollback, of course, which is ultimate sonic smackdown But they have to start from scratch So there's only two characters in that for now in the meantime. We just played over par second and it was it was fucking solid um I mean, it's It's just it's just a reminder of like how healthy your fad game community can be when you embrace it instead of Just being an asshole and clamping down on it, you know Yeah, um, because you know, there's companies that clamp down on it and like we all see we see that shit all the time

And it fucking sucks everything all the time everything nintendo related is is a fucking problem And then there's uh ones where they don't really They don't really do much either way Um, and that'll exist because fans of any game will pop up and from time to time You know, they'll just be like I have enough passion for this franchise. So i'm gonna make this but Uh sega encourages it They have yeah, then you have you have sega and capcom are the two that jumped to mine

Where they go, look at this fan thing. Isn't it cool? We're not gonna make it they call attention to it and they actually have like, you know There's the the the festival for it and all that shit and like so as a result of calling attention to it and like officially being Uh on board with that it just makes such a healthier community And it's like the amount of like sonic is already a popular thing that would have tons of fans games anyway But like the level that they get to and how impressive those projects are it dwarfs The fan game community of like almost any other scene it feels like because Just having that official like hey, this is cool and we might even point to people at it

Excites people Every single year in sega japan. There's like 190 year old little man Sitting behind his desk looking at the fan game thing and he's trying a fan game thing and he's like How come all these how come nobody who works here knows how to make a fun sonic game But everybody who doesn't work here knows how to make a good sonic game What's up? I don't understand. It's crazy. You know And uh, yeah, and and you know by just making this this solid ass game too like they're working on their own original fighter Uh, two of them in fact head to head and and origin of storms

And you just you get eyeballs on like you're like on your original projects because people are like, oh, shit Yeah, that's the team that made the really fun sonic fighting game, you know like fuck. Yeah So it's a great move and it and it benefits it it floats all boats Um, I just I wish all boats rise with the tide. It's it'd be nice if any other Company would look at that and just See the example of how positive it is a second Are you talking about the same company?

That destroyed almost all of its own games That is not exclusive to sega there are quite a few companies that have literally lost the masters Are you telling me that the same company that re-releases the same 18 genesis games over and over and over Because they destroyed the entire Master back catalog of the second genesis Hey is so forward thinking never forget Never forget that samurai showdown 64 Was completely lost

as a master From all uh from the entire office and they're the reason why it never showed up anywhere is because they can't find it And it's been gone forever Um, I'm gonna bring this up until I die and I don't care if you've heard it before But back at fucking. Uh, what was the the video game rental place before netflix? It was blockbuster No, no, no, no, it was they would mail it to you. Oh mail you video. Oh Geez I want to say it was game something. Um, but it game fly. Okay. Yeah game fly game fly there

Was and may still be a one A master copy Of a completed Panzer dragoon saga pc port that existed in one guy's Office at game fly that sega commissioned and then cancelled after it was done And it's gone It never came out

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so And it was so I I encourage Um, the sega attitude towards their fan games as a good thing And that's the specific aspect of sega, which I praise today There is much to be said about them as we get into the docket um although Funny enough even that news also praises the fans and the fan games for their incredible diligence

In fact hiring the really really talented ones Allows you to make some good shit sometimes So they're really geniuses because they announced the sonic 3 knuckles collection or whatever the fuck it is and it's like 40 bucks Right and it's like wow, that's ridiculous except they finally got that team that did sonic mania sonic 2 sonic cd sonic mania the the the genius hammer Kival yeah people not hammerhead um head cannon christian whitehead and um

I forgot the other name, but I think the writing by ian flinn I believe as well and just but it's It's finally the the the good version Of sonic 3 knuckles And they are straight up charging you like an ubisoft game to get the original music as like a dlc pack and it's like You monkey's paw mother fucking piece of the animations. Yeah, if we're talking about it We're talking about it But it's like it's like that's that's the thing is is as I tell as i'm playing this amazing sonic game

You know a fan game and i'm looking at the news about this other Uh re-release which you know that team has earned because they did such a great job with sonic mania And this is the perfect spotlight Exactly what the fans want Um remaster, you know top to bottom It's it's and it plus all the beautiful animation that is like that that perfect style that came with mania as well It's just after tons of failure You've got a group of people that know

Exactly how to make just about everyone happy and then you can't keep your fucking fingers out of the pie Because we have to create the most unbelievable convoluted pre-order dlc thing ever Where even when you simplify it to show you that actually it's just two sides of the same Package But someone had to come in and look at a simple game and go How do we carve this up to sell some pieces for pre-order and for dlc? Let's remove animations Let's remove map control from the the um the i like the most insane shit

To see carved up. Well, they in cad this thing costs 60 bucks Yeah, um, it it's so fucking crazy and shit because It's not at all the fault of the team that did a really good job You know that it made something that everyone wanted to see it's absolutely When it gets into into sega's hands and then the marketing team goes, how do we cut this up? How do we do it? People are excited you know, um I mean that fucking uh chart

They put out with the with the five different Things in the rings for the feature list that looks like you're signing up for an antivirus program Is gonna live in infamy. It's fucking on it's unbelievable You know, how do you not realize how much people hate looking at that? Before a game comes out And none of the things on the list. What's hilarious about it twos? You know, it's even the best feeling is when you look at the sonic origins um Version chart that that they put out with the five different versions on it

None of the ones in the list unlike your antivirus like website scam shit None of them have a full collection of top to bottom. This one has all the features Like they're all somewhat incomplete in different ways, you know Um I saw someone's play make a simplified version of it that just breaks it down into two categories But at the end of the day, you can't fucking on the steam page right now. There is only two categories Okay, the initial one they put out was like, uh, uh Much more convoluted and you can't excuse the

like the breaking down of like Character animation on the main menu and camera controls over the main menu islands Like what the actual fuck man. There there's There's something to be said and I feel like I feel like not enough people I've given elden ring enough credit for this You know what one of the best things and and the things about people talking about elden ring and being excited about elden ring is Is that they went out and they bought elden ring

That's the whole end of the story. Yep. Yep It's a free slide like Yep So the free slam dunk for anybody who wants it is Yeah, this is the game. This is it. You get the game. You get the game. There's nothing else to it Who wants it and devolver of course were the ones who put out the tweet because um Uh, uh, what's the game trek to yomi Is coming out

So they're like, here's our marketing department creating a handy guide for trekti pre-ordering trek to yomi Navigate your path to purchase and it's literally just like every version of the game on different consoles with all the features checked off on the list End of story. Perfect You know like elden ring's obviously gonna have dlc Uh, and it's obviously gonna have a version of the game that comes out in like 18 months That's like game of the year edition that has all the dlc. Yeah, like After I start playing elden ring I they the concept of real money dollars go away

Play video game instead So we've established that when it comes to fan games sega's got a great attitude and when it comes great attitude and when it when it comes to um Their own game their own games Uh, they have finally hit the point where they're like god damn it. We give up you fans can take the job officially And so the fans have come in and are now doing it officially Better than sega. Well now that we got

And now that it's contractors we gotta charge you like Five times what this is worth So hopefully this trend just continues to the point where They just take over And all the high all the shit. I was a I was not even 10 years old when sonic and knuckles came out for 80 dollars And you're trying to tell me

The the four games that I couldn't get a combined total of four bucks for at the trade in place Back in like 97 So I could buy a playstation game is now worth 60 bucks plus tax I mean Finding out so and like the related tag to this story, of course is that uh, what was also Just announced is that sega's reported or not announced but the rumor sega's reportedly working on big budget reboots of crazy taxi and jet set radio Right, and it's like, okay I I don't believe that

Like it's been our entire lives Right, and if you any on any given fucking day, you can just go check Hideki Naganuma's twitter to find him basically going what the fuck sega I would love to make a new jet set radio. They won't let me You know like you could just like it's gone from like it's gone from ask sega to sega doesn't give a shit But I would still love to make it You know, um, you know and the the full-on hostility and then just like everyone. Please go check out and love bomb rush cyber funk when it drops But apparently this is happening and um

Seeing these headlines. I'm just like, okay. Well Uh, if sonic mania is any proof of it Go find the talented people that are not your teams internally That actually love and care about these properties and are willing to do them justice and just fucking give it to them You like the fans, right? So take it to that next level hire them to make this shit and make it right um and hopefully that can like just

that trend towards like Who's going to save sega fine? We'll do it ourselves. You know Uh, it will be one where they can just get out of the way as ip holders and let people who actually know Uh, how to save these games and bring them back. Uh, take a crack at it These things are always so funny because like you look at these you look at sega and you look at square anix Like the two that pop into my mind right now And like both of them have these parts of their companies That clearly have total control over their own divisions

That are just runaway non-stop successes Because the businessman from the other side of the building doesn't get to tell anyone on the other side of building what to do And then you get to see the part where square anix ceo. It's like we are fucking committed to the blockchain We're gonna make blockchain play to earn games motherfucker. It's just like babelons fall Which by the way, if you want to get the near items in Babylon's fall, you can notice that they are the ff 14 rate assets and they didn't even change the names At time 53 your hawk coat of maiming. Are you fucking serious? I have that in my glam chest

There should be an achievement for being online with 10 concurrent other players So that no one can get it So many of the chat points out there currently 38 players of Babylon's fall. Yeah Hell yeah You could do you could fit that many people in a small room You know what's you know, it's great. Well, you know, it's fucking great I lived in a house and I'm sure you did as well Where if you didn't eat your whole plate and you fucking scraped a couple fucking potatoes into the trash

A family member would be like you're wasting food. I bought that food Like you finished your fucking dinner. You don't waste things in this house. Meanwhile Motherfuckers out here making an entire Babylon's fucking fall and throwing what fucking 20 million into the fucking Trash and setting it on fire and go whoopsie doodle for 38 people I mean, I hope at the end of the day platinum can just say hey, we got paid but jesus christ um Anyway, I like it's um, it's wild to think but in this exact kasega instance

unironically hire this man Actually hire this man for real unironically do it It's that's where we're at you know, so Uh, yeah, it's not that simple. Yeah, that's that outsiders being hired into japanese companies is rarely that simple Of course Further more it's not about that. It's not about outsiders being hired into japanese companies It's about the whole company just the whole gang. You know, it's about outsiders being trusted with the ip

of a legendary franchise And then actually having the audacity to make something good with it. Do you know how embarrassing that is? That's tough because there's no win for a certain subset of executive If they're a total failure. Well, you fucked up by letting them do it if it's a runaway success All of your guys look like shit I mean and you look like shit, too The fact let's you take a lot of credit for the idea The fact that there have been more than one

like desperate conversations from high level japanese dev studios where a major ip was about to be Handed to the west so to speak and the team essentially had to beg To not be shamed in this way Because it would be too embarrassing, especially if it was successful

you know and and We've seen that happen multiple times at different companies It's fucked It's it's fucked, you know, but anyway, I think um We'll we'll see more about this whenever it happens certainly but but the slow takeover of Beloved sega ip's by people who actually know what they're doing would be the best bet for this because we've had forever

To do absolutely nothing with crazy taxi and jetset radio and sonic which was actively being Developed just kept sucking. So, you know, yeah On the one hand, like I I generally feel because like taking your your baby your your trusted big ip like let's say sonic, right It's it's like a a dynastic property And you don't want new people to fuck it up, right and as much as christian whitehead and those guys Showed their chops. It's still nervous to Give away your baby to people that aren't your guys and also of of a different culture

And I got that now sonic mania was great, but at the same time We also had this This fucking Bullshit, do you remember sonic and the dark brotherhood? Can you get that up to the camera a little bit closer up to the microphone a little bit closer there? Don't Take it away from us It's don't it like let us do that

Give us a chance to make more of that I want to say Like I think it was mr. Feel that just randomly dropped this shit. Yeah. It's my timeline last week Yeah, with the it's it's an astonishing achievement That's sonic and the dark brotherhood is is in three ways the worst sonic game the worst bio ware game And maybe the worst game released for the ds It it's not always going to be a banger when you go outside When you when you go to the west and that was bio ware

No, that was bio ware during it's like good good years where they were to be trusted But also was that but that but let's if i'm not mistaken that was bio ware for 60 days Right wasn't that a two month thing and that's why so the music turned out that way So the I don't know I don't know if the whole game was like this But for the music there was some kind of rights Issue with the sound library that was one week make the entire what I thought it was like a month or two Oh, no no There was there was some kind of issue with the sound library used to make it and the music man was told

You need to redo the entire soundtrack over the next six days one week. Okay, that's why it sounds like and it's it's one of these things It's the same way every game that turns out like complete garbage comes back And you talk to somebody and they're like bro, you have no idea how proud I am that there is music in this game at all basically Yeah, oh yeah, I was I was digging through the anthem storyline A little bit over the weekend just for fun and one of the things I discovered was that like Patrick Soderlitz saw the game and it's shit but keep the flying and then they sent a producer down there to help bioware make the game Who gave them a hundred suggestions? They ignored every single one of them

And they had to come back and be like, yeah, they're just gonna do what they're gonna do They you just got to let them fail. I guess Yeah, I got I'm trying to remember I worked on um justice league heroes Which which was that uh, it was the dc superhero version of um Um

It was a top-down kind of diablo view thing. Um, yeah And uh like a balder skate dark alliance diablo the fucking well, uh here. What the fuck was the damn it? I went to their ultimate alliance marvel. That's that was the marvel one. Yeah, I and I yeah Yeah, and I and I actually was at the studio working there like embedded with the team, uh by snow blind. That's who it was um and There was a point like within the

Uh, oh, yeah, they made they made the balder skate dark alliance, right? Yeah, that's what that was. Okay So there was a point in the like fucking like I want to say a matter of days if not weeks um where This part of this of the level was so shitted up and so buggy with what they were trying to do That like the solution was essentially to just cut the first half of the level out And just spawn you halfway through from the the second point and just resume it and pretend that the back half of the level

Was the whole thing But like the cutscenes that led you up to that moment like dropped you in a place that made more sense Initially, you know at the start and shit like that Yeah, and it was just like it was like It was one of these like yeah, the the the concession was just absolutely act the content who gives a fuck We got to ship this fucking thing, you know, it works. It's Anyway, I just I'm like the time constraint should always be stated with that story Because the end result is embarrassing

But it gets extra bad when you realize that like it was Not it was it was there's The time constraint makes it so that the person who was under that duress Like you can ease the load on them and put that weight on the bad management and and and uh Oversight on the project where you got to a point where you had one week to make your soundtrack essentially, you know um anyways, uh So that's the state of sega, uh that we jumped into so now we're in our weird hybrid weeks news mode here

but um The only other thing I was going to talk about was uh just Going back to to um blaze blue cross tag battle and Yeah playing that for a second just to because Yes, sir. It got rollback. Why not? It got rollback So I popped that in and played it for a second and it really represents something interesting that um

Like very few games you see these days are uh It's a game that Doesn't it doesn't matter who you use Everyone is kind of standardized And you're really just fighting system versus system Yeah, they did that so that they could get more via some of the game more easily very much so And you want to drop a blitz tank in the game. No problem. You want to drop our canna heart in there. Absolutely

um Kassandra and Kagura Sure go for it because everyone is just going to fit a very simple template. It was almost like um like it's like if every smash brothers character was a Like fire emblem sword fighter, you know what I mean? Like I man That this the way you're describing it is the war like oh man You're gonna have characters from capcom and s a k I can't wait for all of their unique traits to be completely gone

The first thing the the guys at the anime meetup said to me when the game came out was if you have a main Do not play them. You're just gonna hate it And sure enough the moment I touched Akihiko. It was tears It was just pain because it's it's a fraction of what he could do Just everything is off and different because it's the system taking over from the character, you know But within that like It it's it's very interesting because like despite the fact that I hate that aspect of it And I really just want to be able to do all the things, you know that it's it's that feeling of when like oh

Hey, look, it's Dudley and Makoto from third strike Now in super street fighter Are you ready to do all that cool shit you used to be able to do fuck off can't do it Man that that that whole period really like It broke me of going. Oh man. I can't wait for them to have My favorite character that I love in this game. No I love those characters and then I played them and I'm like boy I'm not gonna use these two in this game

Loving a character and the way they feel Together are are one thing um And when a new version of them is dropped into a new game with a different balancing structure an approach to design You cannot expect to get that same feel Which sucks when that feel is part of what you love so much about them to begin with You know, um I I've I've I understand updates and changes like I've described the biking ones for example

Where I'm like I get it and it fits with the system But when overall some of the coolest shit is just not there anymore in the case of Makoto and Dudley certainly It was like oh my god that's You some spark is lost even though it's cool to see them in the in the new the new shiny form, you know And and so in this case it's like yeah the system just completely takes over for what you loved about your favorite persona or blaze blue characters um

Of course the the ruby characters aren't brand new so you know, that's it they work fine They don't have the same issue anybody else has no for this game exactly No comparison To to be the theft of joy there, you know but uh, what is worth commending is the fact that like in the even though the system is what rules over the characters in this game um

They did create one of the most like I guess i'll say one of the most like mentally stacked uh complex systems of 2v2 that Any tag game has because a lot of tag games will have a mechanic where they'll be like now All four characters are on screen fucking fighting. It's going to be crazy. Yeah, right, but in actuality. What does that look like?

Well in marvel versus capcom 1 it just means that you're kind of controlling the characters together And your inputs have to make sense for both um In some cases, I know infinite had it as well and it might just mean like well an ai is going to take over for your partner And that's not that great either if the ai is not too good. So um What's the best way to do this, you know And what bb tag does is it puts them both on screen and it makes and you essentially

Do uh one special move at a time with with the character that's like Your partner and if at any time you want to you can press a button to switch between the two So while one is doing something you switch to the other and then do the next thing and then switch back And so on and so forth, which is nuts It's and so like I like that's a really crazy complex thing at high level um That I respect I respect because i'm like as someone who doesn't play puppet characters and

Finds that shit really complicated. Um, the fact that that's the main system that they have Everyone able to use in this game is is wild, you know But yes, your favorites are going to show up and they're not going to feel anything like they did And you just have to fucking swallow that pill before you you accept this game, you know, um Anyway, it's a weird one. Uh, it represents a weird time um I will I have to say I think I have like a sickness when we talk about fighting games lately Because like as you were talking I was getting like the surface level of like it does have an interesting 2v2 system

That is fascinating. At least it's got that but the undercurrent or overcurrent is is a voice That sounds like goku Back here going like Boy, I can't wait for dbc to get rollback one day. I'll play that shit right now. I'll be right the fuck back in Well, um It it I wish it was as simple as they're all arxist games. They're all gonna get it but Other fucking publishers other licensing toway whoever You know god, dude, I would you remember you remember me talking about how like fighting games are like I'm so mad at them

Like I'll shut my mouth if dbc got fucking good netcode because like the time that I played that game before You know that that you know that critical mass of people leave in that first month And all of a sudden the netcode becomes way worse Because you're doing longer distances That first month was so good god damn it. Yeah, my only my only thought Uh of like a possibility for that game is the fact that they're still willing to even put new characters in like lab coat 21 Yeah shows that they're willing to touch it

And and thus we can hope for something but yeah uh, but but yeah, that's um That's that's bb tag rollback under the under the belt So, you know, there's other issues with the pc version mind you so like uh, but like the rollback came to console as well Which is nice, but just have they said that uh, grand blue's gonna get it or is that in the air? Uh, I don't that has not been confirmed at all. Um, in fact, that's another case just like dbc Where psi games are are involved, right? So and with dnf dual did they get it because Um, you know gung-ho says yes put rollback in to start with so

um So yeah One by one, you know Toss another access game on the pile of like got rollback can be played at any time you want from here going forward Historically, we're good on that Even if it's archived it's it's like you can get on them You can get online with somebody and get a decent fucking match out of it So yay because the matches that I played were all they worked. They did the job, you know

Um, but you're playing cross tag. Yes, but it was cross tag Well, yeah, any game that any game that gets a rollback update i'm gonna go back to it and and and and see how it looks I can't wait for a fucking I can't wait to capcom to announce that they're gonna be putting out a Re-release of everyone's favorite classic with rollback street fighter cross Tekken baby now with a rollback Hey, man. I like I will I'm doing it for the love of the game. I will show support just because like, okay I'm glad you did this. Let's go check it out. I will absolutely do it every time a game updates, you know Um, I think it's good form I want I want to encourage that even on the shit that sucks

Like I want to like just yeah, okay Work through the catalog do what you have to even if it's one person in the office after hours Forcing it into the build, you know um We will we will see where this all goes, but yeah We will we'll be continuing over on woolly versus we got of course elden ring is moving Ff6 is moving react in uh in the ring. I heard people say that you stopped right before um

The festival uh, yeah, so I'm I made my way through north caled and uh fucking damn That's that's a wild zone. Uh, yeah, and I'm currently feels like a fucking dlc area I currently walked right into um to What a red man. I'm in red man's, you know, yeah, and uh, we'll take it from there Um, yeah fun fun stuff good times um The uh, it was it was quite interesting like there's there's a a fun character arc going on right now and uh the

the big um the big jar battles with the the pve summons That was like a little fun section as well where it's like. Oh wait. Did I talk about that last week? You mean the cut no you did the giant jar the coliseum. Yeah the coliseum with the giant jar That's it's hilarious because I heard about how on release That was a very different experience because people were just Fighting against builds of other characters and it was random and you never know what you're going to get kind of wild, you know

And uh, it has since kind of just become like here are the the meta builds where people are wearing that um, I guess it's like whatever the the long red hair armor that i'm seeing all the time and You're just you're hitting these like um Meta builds that are uh, uh, I it's scaled to your level, but still just like Wild least powerful, you know, I got moon veiled up. It was it was nuts. So on on release um

You ran into this situation where it would cycle through a certain limited amount of of types and um The the determining factor of whether or not you beat it Was that if uh, one of the npcs had frost stomp you weren't going to win. Okay. Okay Uh, because frost stomp was so insanely good for pvp And the arena that you fight them when is like relatively small as like width wise And so you get in the situation of like, oh, yeah, I got two down. No problem. Oh this third one has for oh, i'm dead

Right, right, right Yeah, uh It it's it's an interesting idea that that like It it grabs from players and then like you fight it's um, you know what it is. It's neo Right a little bit the neo blood stain where you can summon another player's build to fight on purpose, you know Um, that's cool. Yeah, so I thought that I thought that was pretty interesting. Um And uh, yeah other stuff, you know, I went through the I had my I had my my very dramatic battle with the um

the god skin apostle And uh, yeah, man, how'd you do it? Did you do it? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. How? uh after after different attempts there was a A full on a full on fall to temptation Uh, the the the the episode is called like reggie's whispers in the last temptation because it was like, okay the punching ain't working I was also dumb and I and I miss I misread a message and uh thought that it was about it was about bleed resistance

And it was this big thing I had a good first shot at it and multiple struggles later. I tried sleeping Trina's got got it to fall asleep But then the damage wasn't enough and we basically fell and slid all the way back down to oleg and moon veil You know, it's good stuff and then the uh And had had a crisis in the middle of it. It was pretty funny God's skin apostle is one of those things that um, I mean, you don't have the the most experience with skyrim or the Bethesda games, you know, they're leveled right there. Their experience is leveled to your particular

Level that you show up. So and uh, I'm glad to see that elden ring is like in total opposition to that mentality because uh Most people that I know when they get to god's skin apostle, he is a million years Beyond what you're legitimately expected to be able to do But There's ways to manage you can do it. There's always so for me Uh, I used the dragon breath that does rot. Okay, and I blasted with him uh at the beginning

And ran from him for multiple minutes. Wow. Okay, I've got the full rot Is like 70 percent of his life. Okay. Okay wins a win wins a win. Yep The the dude that uh, the the bell bearing dude up at the shack right next to that tower That guy is That guy is out of place for even that area

I felt that shit like Word on god just like that. So yeah I don't know what I don't know what's going on with the stats on that guy because that dude becomes a regular a real boss fight In a dungeon way later in the game And the version of him at that shack is way stronger than the real boss version you find it was nuts I just so I'm like, okay Usually the first two versions of this I fought in a enclosed little church area and or like a little forest Right now. This is a clearing. I'm a jump on my horsey and just ride in circles

You know and that was the move. We just zapped and zipped and fucking Used torrent to ride in circles and avoid that shit because it was nuts And I'm like, okay north caled is just out of control. You know, it's nuts. Yeah Then you get all these good things like the the you beat god's skin apostle if you like great swords and faith That sword behind him is like One of the best things in the entire game. I mean it's incredible everything I've been getting has been like this looks really cool Faith required. Yay. You know, it's just it's it's the nature of what's happening

You know, well, so now that I I'm going through it again myself right now because the the the latest patch Dramatically buffed strength weapons and made all the casts faster I'm kind of mad Because I did a faith playthrough and I kept getting these skills. I'm like, man, this thing is so cool and it does tons of damage, but It's one of those skills like you jump up in the air you do a cool lightning strike And if a guy even looks at you you get knocked out of it, right? And so all of those are faster all of those now have tons of super armor

So they all work and I'm like, but I finished my faith playthrough Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I want to use scarlet aonia on people, but I can't whatever right? But I I found that I've completely lost my train of thought actually. Oh, okay. Is I completely forgot what I was gonna say. Okay. Well, it's gone It's completely gone. Well, the only the only other thing I was gonna say about it is that um It is interesting because I

I've been on the channel trying mostly focusing on like the um, what I oh you got it back Got it back. Go for it. The games the games balancing is fairly interesting in terms of strength and of Strength dex faith intelligence because you're you're in our cane. Let's put our cane in there, right? Strength is uh now solid for everything, but it won't excel at anything Uh intelligence has really good really good Gains right away and all like most of it Most of the intelligence things that you'll get is within that first two zone leirnia and uh, and uh,

lemgrave Like the the rya. Lucaria and all that area will just give you tons of tons of tons of spells and items But you have to deal with leirnia as a spellcaster which sucks because everything's strong. It's just a magic Right meanwhile faith has a lot more like it's it's spread out a little bit more There's tons of it in altus plateau Where you get a lot of good faith stuff, but the further you go into the game The more stuff has holy resistance or is like a holy type of enemy So it's it's it falls off. I see

Meanwhile the front loading of dex the the front loading of of not holy of faith It it's not it feels like not as unfair, but it feels as if like I have less Choices and so that doesn't feel good. You know Actually massively buffed like almost every spell in the game like during the last week So you might want to try those again like when I got to those dragon hearts. Oh go ahead go ahead Dex has a different problem where it's like yeah dex weapons are good But dex does you can't two hand a dex weapon to get 50 percent more dex right? So you're building that up to 80 over like the whole fucking playthrough

And then arcane is great for the like six things in the game that use it But it's great If you want to use rivers of blood and the dragon incantations I was um Yeah, when I found that second dragon Uh incantation, I was like, okay Yeah, the second dragon church. I was like this would be really nice if there was another use for the hearts, you know that would Uh work for my build and then it's like no, they're still they're still not going to work with that still need the faith and stuff

I was like, okay, but what made me go come the fuck on a little bit was when I picked up the um the wall the staff from the uh The pyro guys just outside of like fort laid Um altus plateau uh near the manor near volcano manor got it. Um, they have a staff that is for It let's it it's it's it can it's a faith based incantation staff

yeah, and The description on it. I haven't fully tested it But it the description on it sounded as if it allows you to uh Use your faith stat to cast sorceries No

That you would you would hope allowing you to just do more without that number which was wild If that's not what it is then I completely misunderstood it But this I think the staff Staff of the guilty. Yeah, I believe that's what I was talking about and I was like thorn sorcery Failing as scaling is faith Okay, okay my mistake because I was like that's not fair You just give me a weapon that uses mice non instat to do it things That seemed crazy

Um, but it's a it's a it's a sorcery staff that you that requires Sorceries are scaled with faith rather than int while wielding the staff which enhances thorns Thorns sorceries in particular. So what does that mean exactly that but it means you need to hit your minimum int For the sorcery. Yes, and then you can throw faith on top of it So it's for it's for split Hex hex he builds Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, uh, there's

Three or four spells in the game that would fit that there's the radigan rings basically That use faith and int and then you would use the the fucking Because it buffs your what is it the briar? Shit the briars of sin briars of sin. Yeah. Yeah, so then you would want to use that Well, so that's still really good because it means that if you have a high faith build With a little bit of int you can cast low level requirement Sorceries no problem

You know with that staff And they'll do good damage because it'll cast a glint stone Using your faith Even though you and you just need the minimum to hit it So there's a whole lot of weird stupid shit you can do so i'm looking at that going that's Awesome for faith just like everything else has been Please tell me you're gonna be the fair and give the same To int so that I can cast a low level incantation

That is scaled with my instat just do it both ways and it'll be fair You know I have to be I have to be blunt for the intelligence faith thing in this one is that faith has Less spells overall like many less spells. I'd say about half as much And a bunch of the intelligence spells are trash Right. This is this is true

But the intelligence spells that are good aren't just good. They're absolutely fucking ridiculous stupid incredible Um, I'm sure you were unable to avoid Viewing the comet of azer Fucking dbz build nonsense that people were running on social media What's uh, maybe not. I mean I've seen some high it was it looks like a camea maya Oh the big beam. I saw the big beam. Yeah. Yeah, I got hit with it actually Yeah, there's that

There's uh, there's the the spell that you get real early in Fucking what's it called kaolin where you throw three rocks at a guy Meteorite, uh, and there's a couple other good ones that things really good though It's been replaced with like a comet glint stone for me. Uh, but yeah, and it's Like those those good ones. Oh god. They're so fucking good And though a lot fails there and a weirdly high amount of strength weapons use intelligence also But here's the other thing though is that even though those good ones are amazing, there's some like

Solid ones that are not the best But you can get them in ash form So it doesn't matter anyway You know, yeah, no, it's If you want to build a non If you want it to be a caster in this game without actually having int you can use ashes and Shit like the bell to do things that lets you cast spells anyway, you know So about that, um, I uh in my new playthrough. I wanted to fuck around with a strength build. So what I did was I

Uh, you know got the bleed weapon went to grail puffed to the sole item immediately got 97,000 souls at level one Leveled up to level 40 got radigan source seal put that on Uh wet and got the great sword good to go right Um, and then I went and got the ruins great sword Which you probably haven't encountered because you can only get it when you go to red main when the festival is not ongoing There's a boss that you fight in the courtyard there

Uh, it's a double boss and gives you the ruin great sword um and the ruins great sword is A big fucking slab of rocks That is like a it's like the fume not ultra great sword if you remember that thing Like it's just a big fucking rock and it's like one of the biggest great swords in the in the game and It has a a fate it has an intelligence requirement of 16

to start being a great sword and the weapon art is a beam that goes like 100 feet And like 10 feet wide That does like two great sword swings level of damage. Okay. Really really good sword It's up there with some of the best sorceries in the game

As just the weapon art for this thing it only has a 16 inch requirement There's a others. There's a bunch of other things the weapon arts like the rivers of blood thing Uh, the rivers of blood weapon art for arcane is better than any spell in the game and I know that I know that um the I was Seeing there was a discussion between like if you're going to use the um the carry in The summon swords, right? There's different forms of summon swords summon great swords summon many swords You want the weapon one you don't want the smell one and that's what's interesting is like, oh, shit The weapon art one can be way superior. You know, it's like more than twice as strong

So this is where you go. Well fuck off like if the ashes are not only available But better than the spell in some cases It's another example of like int getting rubbed in in in the dirt a little bit, you know But I know with patience i'm gonna get some i'm gonna get my good shit. I know it's coming It it is fascinating to hear this this this like this this feeling come off you Because when I was playing the game and I ran through my whole thing. I had the experience of like Here's another spell. I want you interesting like over and over and over and over Here's like uh like a good example. There's way more. Um

Staffs for intelligence in the game than there are Faith catalysts right right. Yeah, there's a lot of staffs true way more and they each specialize in a different type of sorcery Yeah I think it might be Part of it. It's grass is always greener grass is always greener But also the way in which some of those faith things are presented to you Feels very eventful and canonical right like if you're picking up a spell off of a random student Uh of raya lucaria. That's one thing. It's it's whatever. It's but if I kill a dragon or a really big special

Boss and the reward is a faith-based thing Which makes sense given in its story implications Then I go, oh man all the cool big Plot shit is coming in and I can't use it So I have that feeling of like another big reward for the struggle that I'm just going to show of inside the in the chest you know so what happens With the remembrances is that when you do raya lucaria is the urnia area and when you do ronnie's quest line areas

You get back to back to back to back intelligence remembrance boss weapons. Okay, okay, but as you get towards like the capital You're dealing with like gold Golden orthodoxy guys and you're just getting like six faith swords in a row Yeah It's I know it's just going to come down to patience and at the end of the day I would like to hope that um it balances out by credits, you know But uh the grass is always going to be greener. That is absolutely a part of this And I remember playing the game and be like, oh, I feel like I don't have enough gear compared to a dark souls game

And then you get to the end and you're like I am drowning In unique gear like like like more than twice as much as I would have I got to say on a fashion level statement um This one is so weird because Souls games are you know the for each theme you're getting Tons of armors of various types of soldiers and knights is what you get With a couple of things that fit in the like here's a couple of magey things and here's a couple of miscellaneous, you know Of course bloodborne is tons of your victorian wear

With its variations of trimming and stitch And then this game it's not Varieties of armor it's varieties of noble robes Yeah robes of like and robes and like old Um, I don't know what to call it, but like I'm gonna call it like rogue gear You know the gear that like a rogue would wear like a kind of a leathery shirt and a bandits wear like tons of that

Uh clothing there's there's and then a little bit of a couple of armors And then like a little bit of the well what I'm looking for is like the barbarian looks the wilder shit You know, but tons of aristocratic trip. Yeah, that's it Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question You did limb grave. You did weeping peninsula. You you've done the vast majority of the urnia, right? You went to caled you told we're talking about north caled So let's just say you've been hanging out there only two things on my unchecked. Yeah or so Yeah, you're pre radon, right? Yeah

Okay, so I hit that point in the game And you haven't done ronnie's quest line, right? No, I started it. I went underground. I found blithe Of course because the next step is radon. Yeah This is the part where somebody and it gets to be me tells you that you're about 35 percent through sick Hell yeah, hell yeah And it's like yeah

I I mean I I was told that and I screamed I'm like you liars you fucking liars I've been mentally prepared for it. It's been weeks of this of this damage, you know, I've been mentally prepared And the map expansions have been Yeah, I've been staring at game big as an as a thing for for, you know, a solid month now So the thing that that's interesting is that You know when it comes to just LPs in general, I I have absolutely Like aimed and targeted what I can consider to be like As much as possible the the golden

scenario that is one person experienced one person blind and Some cases it's like short and sweet double blind, you know silent hill etc And in this is in this case, of course, it's like double blind huge Which is In this particular type of game like the wildest approach you can take to it, but it's the only one we can do

and um I'm I'm like Whatever happens my priority is on having fun the way I want to and I'm I'm fucking loving it But uh, it is something to see like The It's not even there's a there's a new form of back seating that I've that has been discovered

via the selfie It's a new form of back seating because it's a back seating in the form of like I know that we all had different versions And I know a wildly different and I know that that he's having his own version and that's okay and

I'm totally down for the unique experience, but oh my god. He's he's not And and people are being really kind while also being like Please please go to the festival You know, it's it's this Like this game has been one of the most bizarre LP scenarios. I've ever dealt with because Uh, I completely beat the game and did a 115 hour LP over two weeks Only for a patch to come out and go. We added new Yeah, the patches the patches

And now give me a fucking break and now the unique version of this game I'm playing is one where we are experiencing all the patches as we go along Every time I sit down, there's a chance at a new patch coming through. It's actually like Wild to see. Oh my god. I I completely missed Bach The entire game and then they patched it so that he's louder in his first interaction with him in in limb grave So when I was off screen just trotting about testing out

Ashes I fucking heard his call and I was like, who the fuck is that? You know um Like stuff like that is is directly affecting the the rrlp It's it's great. I love it. It's it's an interesting thing because I don't know what state the game's gonna end in But the fact that you know, I'm hearing that like radon was nerfed and then rebuffed In the journey to him is incredible. That's hilarious. There is a channel on There's a channel on youtube called limit breakers

and uh, it's just souls channel through and through that's just like Which main character can stand in poison the longest? Just stupid shit like that and yesterday or the day before they put out a radon special Which was I'm not going to mention the specifics. Thank you. I appreciate it the fight is like yeah But it's basically can you beat radon under these circumstances alone? And the answer in the first patch is

Fuck no way Absolutely not. Okay, and then he gets to the next patch and goes It's a cake walk. Okay And then he gets to the the current version and it's it's less of a cake walk But you can totally beat radon this way. Okay, and it's just fascinating. Yeah um I It's it's they're they're

I feel as if they're taking this approach to it because like while they while this game They've patched every other souls game and there certainly has been those like I think it was one month until um Miracles were nerfed in ds2. For example, I never recover Yeah, but the sheer size and scale of this one means they have to build it as we go like it's just there's no other way Um now and I think luckily the game drowns you with respect items. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's like 20 There's tons. They're nice about it. They're very very forgiving about like Okay, so you don't like what you got come do it again and do it again and yeah

Yeah, they're they're they're they're very forgiving about a bunch of things when it comes to that And I think too as well like The fact that you're not upgrading armor Means you're also not losing resources and committing to things you might not wear if you do Respect. I mean also, I've run through the game now. Let's say one and a half times and let me tell you armor Unless you're going for the absolute heaviest shit in the world It really doesn't make that big of a difference. Mm like the difference in health different health values between the the the the the skimpiest shit and like the most heavy shit in the game

it's like 15 percent it's it's it's Just wear whatever you think looks pretty and is close to your current equip weight. Yeah, although I I I was I was going helmetless for fashion for a while And then I just got a helmet that I think looks cool. So now I'm wearing it But um, I still do wish there was a a turn helmets off option. That'd be that'd be ideal, you know Anyway, we'll say the turn capes off option is appreciated turn capes off is nice um I I just

You know, I want things that other games have had with when it comes to like your fashion ability And this is a whole other topic about glamour that we've done a million times. So Uh, yeah, that's that's going good. You know You're mentioning that you're going through it alongside its patch history basically and uh as somebody who has like a a bigger picture And I played all of these games through their own patch cycles They're doing a way better job with this one than they did with the others Nice

Like I'm going through the whole list and it's almost all buffs and then you get to a nerf and you're like Yeah, that was fucked up wasn't it that you guys let that ship like that like poor frost stop That was fucked up that needed to get nerf. It's still really good But you need to tone it down a little bit and the other thing That's fascinating is you're playing through it during what I'm going to call the behind the scenes discovery period Where illusory wall and zuli are just tearing this fucking shit to pieces And finding out shit that grail can stand up and but it makes crash the fucking gaysy

Yeah Yeah, yeah, I saw that you can you can make uh the jar act the giant jar can activate And when grail activates with normal dragon behavior, the game can't fucking handle it And and other this this tweet that i'm sitting at i'm looking at it right now because you've met bach right And bach is a pathetic fuck loser Who is constantly like i'm so fucking ugly Wars no one love me. I'm fucking pathetic. I can modify your garments and

I'm i'm looking at the zuli tweet that might be a joke, but I don't care In which she posits that bach storyline in elden ring is centered around his struggle with believing that he is worthless despised by all and undeserving of love Because his name bach is an anagram for the bed of chaos. Oh What I've only one step in I've saved him and then we met him once later That's that's great boc. Oh my god Okay, okay, I mean shit

Like there is there's stuff like that where like I had a moment where when I when I got up to the dragonbarrow And you see a bunch of dragons walking around And then you swing at them and they're not real dragons They're weaker ones without breath and when you hit them they have half life Yeah, and I'm like Is that like The half a dragon ass reference

To to no, no, okay, but it's it's secret. Oh my god boc starts as a tree Yeah Yeah, uh, okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, it's right there. It's all it's all coming together I'm gonna have to see more along that storyline, but yeah in in grail It's because the dragons with red eyes are actually grails real health bar. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah um in in in any case though like that and and the The fact that every once in a while and it's not once in a while. It's pretty frequently

It's like you're playing a little game of remember when You know, um, yeah, like no one's gonna tell me that that's not fucking smog sitting right there Uh, smo, sorry Because okay, there's smoke. You see that you saw that guy. There's fucking smo. That's just sitting right there being smo That guy's hilarious. He's just way out of the way and he's just there And then and then and then I look what was that? There's a dragon name. That's not smog, but it's just smog But I don't anyway, whatever Um, yeah, I know good good shit. Good shit. Um, I I that's a good game. I like that game

That's game that game is gonna be game of the year everywhere It would be so cool if by the time i'm getting to the late game Um, it's like, oh, here's that dlc. You can go you can go visit it now That would be great timing We'll see, uh I don't know that that feels like it'll be farther away. I imagine the fuck knows I imagine so So i'm playing through on my ps4 file right now and uh, i'm having uh, I don't know what to call a funsy run

In which uh, I got the ruin greatsword like I wanted Killed god jerk for funsies And then I be lined to the farming spot and uh leveled up every stat to the soft cap Uh, and then took my plus five ruin greatsword back to ling grave To see what bosses I can one shot with the weapon art and the answer is, uh, way more than you would think And i'm i'm just what i'm just waltzing around just need this item need this item need this item so that I can Have a save file at the end of the game for when the dlc drops And I can just roll right in on that

That's fun Um, yeah those teleporters must make it a fucking a doozy to just like A breeze to just get where you want and do all the things um anyway more of that Of course as we go and um

Yeah, an ff6 continues as well. So uh, yeah check it out. We're gonna be We're gonna be doing all that this week. Uh, um over on woolly versus Elden ff6 and uh this weekend Uh, probably gonna jump in on some head-to-head and uh some kusouge because we haven't been playing enough shit games recently and uh, that needs to be rectified I saw someone Basically say something to the effect of I love getting to fighting games

But it's missing that that scrub lords edge of shit games that you suffer through You know, I need that in my life and I'm like, I don't disagree with that So we're gonna dig something out. Luckily fighting games will provide. Absolutely Um That's that's over at woolly versus. That's what I'm doing I don't think that fighting games have the most shit games in their genre by any means But I will say that fighting games by far have the most shit games in their genre that people will still play for some reason Yeah

Because they're like fighting game fans love bad fighting games Well because a fighting game is it's a board game It's a box with a set of players and tools that you just pop it open and you fuck around with it You know, you don't have to I'm sure there are infinitely more bad visual novels than fighting games I'm sure there are yeah, but you don't need to experience them 10 years later You know You get them out you get that out of your system one and done Um

Anyway So we kind of we're going hybrid news coverage and docking and weeks but whatever it's a podcast It's hard. We do whatever you want Ah Anything of note for you the part where I Yeah, it's the part where I talk about the the thing that I want to talk. Okay. I'm gonna. Hey woolly Remember when we were talking about fan games and about companies that support their fan games You know what company doesn't support their fan games is konami

They don't even support their real games Really So they support the fuck out of pachinko I Fun fact that you mentioned that so Uh this past week I decided to check out What is a legally distinct castlevania game?

And by legally distinct. I mean that's just alicard with three sprites changed over a dude Called vampire survivors. Okay Now I'll apologize because somebody asked me two weeks ago if I wanted to cover vampire survivors and I'm like I fucking hate vampire survivor I don't like any of them because I got confused and thought they were talking about dark stalkers Oh, which I don't like but no vampire survivors Is currently the number one rated game on steam

And is the best-selling game on steam And then I looked at it and I'm like what is this fake ass mobile Fucking pachinko machine That looks like a castlevania ripoff overwhelmingly positive bullet hell Um and that if you look at the art closely enough, you'll notice that it's traced over Bayonetta for a female character. Yeah looking back at the now castlevania ripoff in sprite But the actual gameplay definitely in sprite definitely in sprite the the actual gameplay is just fucking Phone game

like Sprite mooso madness. Yeah So Here's what vampire survivors is you can play it with your keyboard. You can play it with your mouse or you can play it with a controller and the game is You load in to a tiny little map with your tiny little not castlevania character

And they will fire a little bullet or a axe or a whip or bones holy water Out of their body automatically with no control from you And then you will kill the little enemies that come towards you on the screen And you will get gems and then you will level up and then it will ask you to pick another axe or whip or holy water Or what have you And then you will keep doing that Until you are full of castlevania style weapons and passive buffs and you become an absolutely impossible to look at and understand what's happening on the screen

miasma of flashing lights and twirling blades that kills all the enemies as you try and hit 30 minutes of survival time and then upon the finish of That you will get lots of gold that you can use to buy new characters that have slightly different traits or Upgrade your character permanently or go to a new stage Sounds like it can that is it sounds like it could be addictive

But what's the part that makes this the best selling game on steam? um, so supposedly The gentleman who made these this game used to make slot machine games And I believe it Because you get a chest and it opens up and there are many dopamine flashing lights and colors and happy noises And you get the upgrade and then your character shoot better and it's better and it's good and the game is $3 It's $2.99 and

It is It is the slot. You know video games that are slot machines are actually just slot machines. Mm-hmm This is a slot machine. That's actually a video game I mean and I actively mocked it Look controls and garbage everything Right before playing it

And then was like, oh, okay. I see oh, oh, and then I've been blowing every morning after I wake up before page wakes up And trying to get a one half hour run. I my favorite characters the skeleton Do you think that it's bones seeing as this is such a huge breakaway success Is it possible that maybe the developer can afford To hire an artist to do some art that is not just traced bayonetta It's too late now because traced bayonetta is very very very very traced bayonetta It's too late now Okay, so the game the game is really access and is getting updates consistently

There are a shit ton of characters. There's a shit ton of mechanics And it's really quite fascinating how much mechanical depth you can get out of a game that all you do is move your character There's no other option other than moving your character and picking the upgrades that come out of a chest Okay, that's it. This is supposed to be a breakaway new grounds hit That would take over the internet. Yes, but instead it's on steam. Yeah Easy It is it is I mean it's slot machine. It's bullet hell. It is also. I don't know if you have any

Familiarity with it. It's cookie clicker It's idle game It's just leave it running and the game get big and blow up Because the the the ultimate is that by 18 to 21 minutes You have built a fucking monstrosity with your correct choices and correct scooping up of the gems That you just fucking let go And start browsing shit on your phone while you look up every 30 seconds and you go. Yeah, still invincible progress quest Yeah plays itself. Yep. Okay

um and it is the perfect price for this experience If this was even five dollars, that would be too much, but it's three dollars I've lost three dollars and been like ah bummer Let alone spend it on this thing. I was it's great. I was expecting to scroll down and see free

but um, no But if there's lots of micro and stuff going on inside, uh, it can go either way. I'm sure um Okay, now it's pretty good Is it more addictive than it is fun? I would say it's about 50 50. Okay um

No micro. Uh, okay. No micro. Got it. Just many updates Many updates add new add new character. Wait pat wrong. No micro. I didn't say there were many micros No, I was I was asking Um, yeah, there's none. There's none. You pay the three dollars. Okay. You get forever So it's it's about as addictive as it is fun. All right this monster That I finished in the course of the fucking podcast Is worth more than vampire survivors And I got definitely got way more out of vampire survivors than I got this monster

Damn well at this point, um Being a breakaway of success. I guess it's the identity is committed and anything else they do must look equally as cheap and fucking like basement budgeted Because uh I think one of the reasons Um, that's never gonna change Is the fact that um, it looks so basic means that this one guy can bang out a new character like that

Like like that like no bit like what hey, you guys want a A different ala card swap that has area bonuses Here you go. This one's blue This game is I'm just scrolling and I'm like this is supposed to get lost in the tidal wave of steam releases Like This is not supposed to happen Uh, okay, well So the difference is is that like I cannot like you would have to try it. It's just really good

But that's the thing is like it it's not actually low effort despite the fact that it looks that way Is what you're saying. Yeah, so like it looks low effort, but it's not patch Uh, uh yesterday new heart challenge stage new character new weapon new reroll ranks two new arcanas Uh, and then the the patch before that was two weeks before that new achievements new weapon New library coffin, etc. Okay, right. Okay Yeah, it just and I like the ronda mazo at the top of stage four. What the fuck does that mean? Like don't knock it till you try it woolly. Well, of course But when the opening salvo is here's ripoff bayonetta and some castle vadia sprites

What like you've made bigger assumptions about worse games that have done some that have done less You know holy you just talked about going back to kusouga fighting game. Hell. Yeah, you love that. Hell. Yeah absolutely Also, the reason why this blew up in terms of like this was supposed to get lost in the xbox live indie thing It's because of your fellow influencers But but the the the the turn here is Like when you pull up a game like this with these traits and you go, oh my god

And like usually you go. Oh my god. Look at this thing. This is wild Uh, this is so zany and fucking nuts and usually Uh, so bad. It's good. But in this case, uh, it's it's acting. You're saying it's actually really good So that's that's the twist I had a I had a like the my stream makes me look like such a stupid idiot because it was supposed to be like a double stream It was vampire survivors in a different game the second half Uh, which was a really excellent game called the closing shift, which I'll talk about in a second Um, and um, I'm doing vampire survivors. I'm like, yeah, well, okay. We'll play this this baby nest game

For a bit and then we'll do the closing shift and I'm like hitting like two and a half hours on vampire survivors And I'm like, yeah Uh Okay, I guess we gotta I guess we gotta go to the other one. Um, how much of how much Okay, but how much not playing are you doing versus like how much leaving it alone to while you just it just goes Very little the leaving it alone happened only once I started playing it every morning. Okay. Okay. Okay um So moving on to the closing shift the closing shift is a

Japanese game I want to say Has a lot of uh, Asian language options. So I'm not a hundred percent sure. I want to say it's Japanese, but Uh, it could be Chinese. I'm not super sure pretty sure Uh, but it is a game in which you it's about an hour Uh, it's about an hour or two tops Uh, and you are playing as a young woman Who works at a oh, it's korean. Oh my bad. Everyone says it's a vtuber game If I don't know about that, uh, I didn't see any oh, oh, okay

Well, you're playing a one young woman who play who works at a coffee shop. That's basically starbucks And uh, you start at your apartment and you walk to your car and then you go to starbucks And then a bunch of fucking Asshole customers come in and you have to make their fucking coffee and there's a whole coffee Like how to make the coffee you're doing you're walking over and picking up steam milk and having to add it in the right order And all that shit and it's a complete I fucking hate Like there's a moment where four teenagers walk in and give you all of their orders while arguing between each other And it's just a complete shit fucking mess and now I am the only person

On the screen for some reason. Did you change something? No, you just went black for a second But then you reconnected. I thought the call dropped, but it seems like we're still fighting. Oh, that's weird I have to click a button That was I click it. Oh, I can't see your camera anymore. Oh bummer. Anyway um And the twist is that uh right away You discover that you are worried about a stalker um, who keeps coming to your work

and harassing you and it is about Uh, hey being a young woman alone at night in a city Is a fucking nightmare by itself And having to deal with a potential stalker or just kind of weirdo that comes to your job Is terrifying And that's it And while as you do a um, I guess like a bartending

Take the orders as you're essentially doing a coffee making but bartending game in which the weirdo comes in and gives you a poem And then sits in the one spot in the restaurant. You can't see And then you're so fucking hung up with your orders. You don't even see him leave Okay, but his car is gone Yeah, all these screenshots have the the big Spoopy lighting and they were closed side and stuff um And what seems to be a naked man? I can't tell

anyway Uh, it also uses some really bizarre graphic technique that looks like they scanned in a bunch of photos Uh, so everything looks like a fucking nightmare And people are like horribly ungainly and awkward and it's kind of poorly translated Uh, but it's great It's absolutely great like it is it is proper fucking spooky The closing shift Man, I feel completely out of it that I cannot see you anymore. This is a bummer

Uh Here I can try to fix that give me a second We'll just take a go on idle. I feel like I'm talking to the woolly versus logo, which wall a nice logo Uh, let's see here Did that make a difference It did not okay once I can focus apologies apologies audio listeners Hey, there you are Okay, well, I mean that's not you. That's the be right back screen

Okay, hey, we're good. I can see us again. Hurrah. Thank you. I appreciate that that actually makes a world of difference because talking to the void is is weird to Pat um So yeah closing shift is absolutely excellent Uh, I would suggest that you check it out and buy it and play it. It's kickstarter game as well or or some other crowdfunding Uh, I played the whole thing on stream. It's very very short, but it's great Uh, I also decided because I got this new monitor that I was going to go and play a bunch of games that I could not because I did not have a monitor. So I checked out. They are billions and frostpunk back to back Um, they are billions and there's another game. That's like it called. I want to say it's called last stand

Uh, what's it called? It's it's an age of darkness final stand Um, there are these games that are basically like did you really did you enjoy? Uh, warcraft or starcraft based defense missions Oh Yeah, because it's that yeah, I didn't mind it. I could entire defense is okay depending on You know how repetitive it gets So they are billions is do you just want to load into a map and play a warcraft slash starcraft style? based defense mission that escalates infinitely

Uh With pretty much the exact same controls a steam or steampunk aesthetic, but there is a nice little twist which is singular enemies which be would be a zombie in this case hitting a residential building Will immediately taint it and spawn like three more zombies Okay So it is absolutely the kind of thing where you have to lock it right the fuck down because one getting in

Just one is enough to immediately spread through your whole base in like 15 seconds And just be like completely unmanageable and game over. Uh, it's a lot of fun. It's very difficult Their billions is very tough and I started with the they are billions. They are billions. Okay And I started with the campaign only to be told that the campaign was added as the last update and is actually terrible And actually the main game is the the the just launching to a map roguelike kind of thing It's pretty good. I wouldn't say it's the best, but it's pretty good What's much better

And what I would recommend to anybody Who likes any kind of like city manager? Is frostpunk Frostpunk is fucking awesome question Ask away. Did you have a week where you had no plan and you asked the world what other people are up to and what good steam games Are out to check out So here's here's a fun secret because it sounds like you had that kind of week

Here's a fun secret. I did have that week and what I do is I go. Hey everybody What do you what do you guys want to see and everybody gives me 90 to 200 terrible suggestions? And then I ignore every single one of them To just play shit that was not mentioned at all. Okay Because this looks like a like a week of discovering what what the fuck's been going on. Let's pop it off on steam You know Well, actually frostpunk I wanted to stream like six months ago and then I loaded it up and was like wow can't read this at all Just just can't can't read it

Just impossible. There's no text options at all And it is impossible so now that I am on a regular computer with a with a monitor Uh, I play frostpunk and it is Like it has way better writing than I would have expected for this kind of management game Um It has a bunch of fascinating concepts in terms of managing your city in terms of heat

It has a through a narrative through line For actually what you're building your city towards. I love that name. It's very cool name Uh, more than that the idea is like well, it's global cooling and everything's fucked And there's the one generator that you have that is coal powered that makes heat and just manage figure it out Which leads to me Like screaming at my monitor

That I don't care that you're hungry or homeless If you just salvaged wood faster, we'd be able to build tents for you and in order to You know effectively manage that I'm going to use my legal system to enact emergency shifts Which is another 24 hour shift that I'm going to turn on at the woodpiling plant So that you guys can get more wood to build yourselves some fucking tents so that you're not homeless And then when that runs out, they're mad. They don't want so many emergency shifts because I use three in a row So I go, okay. I promise no more emergency shifts But then I realized that I can spec into child labor

Oh Which enables the 25 children that are currently just eating food in the plant in the in the in the settlement To also go work the safe jobs And then a kid gets injured at the factory. Well, you know I have to determine whether or not the kid gets Uh, a day off or not Because that's gonna you're you're balancing hope and of course Resent survival. So the kid get the kid gets a day off and everyone's happy

But to make sure that we have enough production of coal because the fucking burner can't go out I then go, okay, I promise I'm not going to do any emergency shifts But what I can do is extended shifts. So instead of like 10 to 6 you guys are now working 6 to 10 Ah Okay, okay, and I mean then we're getting into a situation where we found some survivors and now we're up from one We're up from 80 people to like 126 people So I'm not making enough food. So then I have to decide whether or not I want to make soup With the existing food stock

Which will make a little bit unhappy a little bit unhappy Or I could really kick up the food production by just jamming sawdust in there. Yeah, for sure for sure Uh, but that can increase the ability to have sickness and I only have two hospitals Which are currently fully staffed, but one's outside the heat zone So I got to turn on the secondary generator to turn it on if too many people get sick So what you're on and so forth. So so what you're saying is that this is this is a world that is basically knife Apocalyptic frozen over and you have the last cradle of civilization and warmth

And you have to decide how to keep everyone alive in this in this settlement And sometimes bad decisions got to get made and sometimes bad decisions have to get made Um, including possibly even resorting to child labor This sounds like a story That takes place in the world of snow piercer Except you pan the camera over to something more interesting than that shit train Yeah, basically it's in 10 years

We'll figure out how to build the train and start the snow piercer. You can even keep the child labor themes going across all of it It it had a really good feeling when I was playing this and I'm like I'm like realizing that the new people coming in don't have homes and I'm like I'm getting the ticker. That's like people are complaining about literally Fucking freezing in the cold And I'm like screaming like maybe if you built your own houses faster with the wood I'm telling you to fucking get you wouldn't be so homeless. Why don't you build that? Yeah, I know there isn't enough food

I'm working on it build your houses and page is over at the kitchen table Like eating dinner and just turning you're like pat. What the fuck are you doing? And like don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Okay um It's hard to hard to explain for me telling you this thing but the the presentation and the writing Is absolutely top notch like the presentation absolutely adds a ton of it. It looks it looks very cool. It looks visually awesome It's a it's a great feeling Great sounding

Greatly written well controlled good looking game. It's absolutely excellent and there is only one major problem with frostpunk like absolutely Like if I were to review this game today I would pull a full point off it Because of this issue and it is every Single time you turn the game on It tells you frostpunk 2 has been announced Click here to wish list it on steam

And that happens when you start the game and when you quit out of your current file to get back to the main menu to quit Stop caring about the game you're playing Old and busted click on the new hotness all the time. Yeah, and then I'm like I'm on the frostpunk 2 page And it's like release date tba Like Come on like Uh, but yeah, no, it's great. It's absolutely great. I'm I'm genuinely surprised at how great it is

Considering what it's uh, it's by the people that did um This war of mine. Oh shit game. It was uh, the game is about scavenging. Okay in the uh, yeah the uh, uh Bosnian uh genocide So I was about to ask I was about to say like hey, so like you know how like when when When the children are not able to do the labor anymore And when the wood chips aren't just cutting it

Can you just put the tired children in the food generator to go full-on? It's no piercer. I didn't I didn't I didn't get that far in okay Well, I kept asking the chat if I could just burn the children for fuel. Mm-hmm, and I was told not yet okay because Yeah, uh as you say this more war of mine. I'm like, oh, they're gonna Yeah, okay. I can I see I see what this is gonna be because that game from from what I remember that was uh Hmm

Don't pop this in and expect to have a happy afternoon kind of game Yeah, and you know, it's it's got just constant constant like interesting choices and it's not hitting you with morality It's hitting you with the a hope and discontent meter that Like hope can't get to zero and discontent can't get to maximum basically Or else people won't live but you know, I'm like should I bury people that takes a lot of resources or Should I just toss every corpse I have into a snow drift for later use? And uh the snow drift is cheaper

It leads to the ability of readily available organ transplants It can eventually lead to food or fertilizer use. It's a genuinely better option Other than the fact that it takes a massive hit on human dignity and people are fucking freaked out by it. Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Totally, okay. It's great interesting But you sound like a psycho playing it

because Because I mean I'm like sitting there and I'm like does this hospital really need that much extra heat Like I mean just really I mean are you are you succeeding each level based on Like your survival or the hope that people have You know What's the metric for success from the from the two three hours? I played of it I came to the conclusion that as long as

Hope is not zero and discontent isn't maxed out and the burner is on And Survival is the number one concern. Okay. Okay Interesting that's awesome. Yeah, I this is this is my toe dip into what I'd consider the genre of systemic psychopathy Of a video game That being the genre that includes crusader kings of like, how do I get my wife to stop fucking a horse?

And how do I kill every priest in my neighborhood? um How do I get in rim worlds and all the nightmares that go into rim world, which I don't want to play at all I don't want to play rim world. How do you get gondi to nuke the world? If you're playing sieve 3 the answer is just keep playing. I think it's sieve 3 These houses pay so little tax. It's hardly worth my time. Yeah, that's it Okay, oh, I gotta I gotta psa in case I do play rim world psa removes slaves's legs to prevent rebellion Oh

Uh, I gotta I got a buddy of mine. Oh, yeah, I got a buddy mine who plays rim world Uh, he loves to play rim world and uh the way that I have been described to rim rim world is that it is dwarf fortress That you can actually play if you're a human Because it has like buttons and an interface and graphics So I I don't know how much of this is going to be present, but I hope some of that genre is Is properly Explored in pal world when that shit drops because the I don't know about that a little bit of that like the the factory shots

And then the just the the insanity of like them falling off the production line and shit Like I'm wondering if it's gonna if it's gonna go that road a little bit You know even if they never acknowledge it even if it's like the discontent of your of your factory pal workers Means absolutely nothing to your production line, but you can see it anyways, you know Anyway, I should play crusader kings Now that I have a monitor Cool, you know that crusader kings works on a timer I don't know much about it

So it's it's like a it's a grand strategy game when in which you're dealing with marriages and and alliances and all that Shit, but it's working on a like a yearly timer that's ticking forward and events just happen Like it's it's not turns. It's it's real time well Not Not real time is in like mirrors the real world. No, no, no, no, yeah, but yeah, okay You just like you just play it over time. Yeah, it's it's like the final fantasy 6 atb of grand strategy games Huh, so you just have to make your decisions quickly because the world is turning

As you play i'm sure there's a pause which is actually a feature that almost every game i've mentioned has Which is weird to say. Yeah, but man Hey, well, did you like warcraft 3? It was too much. I couldn't handle it I stopped right Like you know what you know what makes like there are billions or age of darkness or a frostpunk Like a million times easier to wrap my head around than warcraft warcraft 3 I hit the space bar

And it stops and it and it but it's not like I hit escape and I had it stopped and then I I unclick escape and I go back to play no it hits Space and then I go and queue up everything. I want them to fucking do yeah put all my buildings down And then I hit space and it goes back that got rts's might have stayed With us If that had been more popular of a feature i'm playing ff6 right now And realizing I mean I already knew this but it's just it's showing me

Just how like I'm not skilled at menu navigation quick quick menu because that's what atb turns into Is how quickly can you navigate menus and how good are you are doing are you at doing that? and not quite um I feel as if the well because it does freeze when you're when you once you go into that Into the sub menu. Yes, that is true. But any but any game where you are um Forced to make these decisions uh and do a lot of actions while uh

Like and why I mean in warcraft 3's case it was the hero system as well That was a bit too much for me But the fact that you can the fact that you can pause and like take a second I know that's like a scrubby ass thing if you're a veteran of the genre But to me it would be the difference between enjoying myself and not enjoying myself So I will correct you on one thing in ff6. It's not about menu how quickly you can navigate a menu It is how quickly you can make a decision because the moment you go to the sub menu everything pauses, right? That's right and yeah Like it's it's like listen, but like you like people who play feel like me who played those games like

More or less through the ages. There's there's a mental checklist that exists up here Which is how much health does is a random battle? Yeah spam attack Yeah, and then it then it is it more than hit every element and see what it's weak to yeah He'll if not dead But i'm used if actually dead or status so on and so forth but but uh Not every not every like like while the enemy's turn is on pause when you go into a sub menu Uh anything that has a timer like a haste stop

Uh trance any of these abilities that are real in game time Do continue while you're in that sub menu, which means you actually still need to hurry up If you're using like things that are time-based So like the real-time shit is not like the the the stuff that has real-world seconds Don't slow down just because you're inside of an attack, you know And the same applies to like anything anything with a long attack animation for example um But i but i say this fully aware of the fact that this is me personally out of my element and not something that people who are

accustomed to the genre Uh have a problem with because they're just they're clicking they're used to that they're going and it's fast and it's it's it's an it's a It's a why are you so slowly? I know that just click the attack button. So I do i do actually have a real piece of advice for that. Uh if it helps at all. I don't know you're you're pretty deep in Uh, but it is if you can't if you don't know what to do If you can't make the decision mash Attack out

And then make the decision for the next turn Yeah, I mean it's it's uh Anyway, it's it's fine. We're moving But I definitely still make these dumb mistakes where you know, like i'm like, ah, shit. I runicked And I cast a spell or I try to heal off a reflector Just little things on the mental stack of what's going on. It helps me to talk aloud while i'm doing it, but you know, I still Think it helps everybody to talk aloud because you're doing like that seems like a universal thing But uh, yeah, and I still like make mistakes and have misunderstandings about things like um

Something that's come up a couple times is the like magic non elemental damage versus elemental magic damage versus physical damage versus what you know the categorizations of that stuff and and uh, you know, um Anyway, whatever I've I've I've gotten and I've gotten a ton of shit over my misunderstandings of that stuff and and everything but I I do um Much prefer and the games that I the games where it's purely turn-based that you're describing here and um It really is just all about your setup and your strategy They they become addictive to me. I not only play them, but I fall into them and lose days of my of my life in into the breach

in um Um, um, what was the other one? Uh, uh fights in tight spaces um You know All of that is is is like I just I I personally I don't just have more fun Like I will love it if I have that aspect to it where I can just you want to play a game Yeah Because you're describing that and I'm like

and I'm like Everybody likes sieve. Nobody fucking doesn't like sieve. Mm-hmm. And and and I mean, you know, and the setting Yeah, of course is is is is a big part of it, too The frozen worlds keep everyone alive setting is pretty fucking cool sounding. That's an interesting A premise to go into But uh, yeah, anyway, shout outs to the pause button By the way, that's a legitimate offer if you want to ruin your saturday Yeah, by trying to figure out

If we can play a full game of sieve in a single day Fucking hit me up. I will I will do that. Which one I fucking love uh six or yeah, you know six Okay, everyone's gonna scream at us and say five Uh, I don't care The last time I played it was on my cousin's computer like Probably in 1997 Great. I'm just Terrible at sieve. Okay. I'm terrible at it. Okay

Just just pick china and isolate Uh, all right, so this week I actually just changed my schedule while we're talking this week on the channel is more Fucking Dude, there is nothing out like ain't nothing happening So i'm going back to to old catalogs and Uh more elden ring. I'm shocked. Oh Is that is that game still popular? The people still like elder seems pretty popular

Does people still like that? Okay, so This week over twitch.tv slash pat stairsat. Uh first up. I'm gonna be playing a game called king arthur night's tale. That's a sponsored stream It's like a strategy rpg dungeon crawling thing Uh, I'm genuinely fascinated by it even before I got contacted for it. Also despite being a strategy rpg that games 124 fucking gigs That is a big game. I don't know why it's so big I'm also gonna play tear down that just hit 1.0. I'm gonna play no man sky because I mentioned it. I think last week Oh, yeah, or I was like Fuck it. Just jump right into it. Okay, and then uh elden ring on friday, which is hey

I'm playing a playthrough of elden ring in which I am I'm giving you no one any continuity at all In which like no, I'm just gonna play wherever the fuck. I am my personal file. So this is gonna be a lot of stupid skipping around a lot of uh A lot of streamers that are like occasional game streamers and then like doing other stuff have been just doing that Elden ring has been a like I'm gonna pop it on And wherever I am that's what you'll see and that's about it type of game I've noticed a couple people taking it on that way and considering the size of it. It's understandable It's it's it's it's a reasonable way to go. I don't I don't blame it's a fucking big game

You get what you get Also, I I'm my playthrough right now is gonna be complete nonsense clown shoes Because I am in fact like I'm at the same level uh in limb grave that I beat the game at Right, okay, like I not nothing can hurt me nothing like there's there is no threat. Well, here's the question right like, um Is new game plus like Similar to previous games new game pluses. Oh, it's the same. Yeah 100% okay the the level of scaling that it goes up by

Yeah, uh, and I uh, what's fascinating is that um, the way that the soft caps and all that work Is that when you get to the end ish of new game plus enemies don't actually have any statistical adjustment at all Huh So like wow you you've seen you've seen millennia all over redhead with the arm and the sword right no You haven't seen any art of her. She's all over the place Oh the one with the she's the girl with the eyes covered first trailer. Yeah the the golden helmet

Yeah, I don't know who that is. I don't know who that is, but I saw the covered eyes helmet. Yeah Anyway, she has no statistical change at all Okay, zero change Which means that by the time you get there you hopefully will stomp her into the dirt again Okay, I don't know what happens on new game plus plus though But the last thing I wanted to do was actually have a file in new game plus or new game plus plus because then you were out of the situation where the dlc comes out and The dlc is always harder than even the hardest thing in the game

And Fucking oops now. I can't do it. I have to restart anywhere Is anyone on like new game plus 10 I've seen characters walking around uh in youtube like I'll look at like I would I want to know a breakdown visually of What's the patch 1.04 changes and there's guys loading it up with their bad microphones going okay So this character is on new game plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus So maybe the stats are a little off

And I'm like, okay, man. That's That's fucking Just leave it. Just just start over please lord. Well, there's no bonfire aesthetic. So it's like um I I I assume you're gonna get scaled up rewards It's it's not gonna fucking it's not fucking get any harder. Yeah, okay Interesting

All right, um Let's Take a quick quick break break because uh this pooch behind me. He's probably got to take a shit And maybe me also. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cool Um Yeah, all right bear back Uh this week the podcast is sponsored by keeping the bathroom door closed Why would you do that?

So that your pooch doesn't go in and try to eat from the cat litter Yeah, well, but it's it's it's so it's got so much protein You can you can You can go to keeping the bathroom door closed comm slash super beasts All right, um What do we got Uh Castle super beast this week is sponsored by hello fresh and

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Damn you're just gonna do beef like that Oh, dude, it's hilarious. Is that you? Go fuck yourself. You're stupid He doesn't know he doesn't know nothing. He's a stupid dog That that's the face of pain right there That's his fucking everyday face. That's what he looks like. No, that's no, that's the face of denial to the cat litter box actually so Yeah, it is He wants it so bad you so when we were resinking the audio all of a sudden we were at like four and well

He just saw me sprint away as fast as I could go Because he had broken through the gate situation And it was headed to his cat treats Don't do it. I stopped him Uh, this week a new sponsor podcast is sponsored by Shopify Which is the all-in-one commerce platform to start run and grow your business Yeah, uh Shopify is

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Thank you Shopify Thanks Shopify All right So moving into the news, uh, we've already talked what's new this week. We've already talked about the weird stuff going on with sonic origins and uh sucks That's a weird one. We've also talked about the crazy taxi jet set radio

possibilities Um, so, you know, that's not true Well, it's a lie until it becomes the real right? It's an untruth until it becomes reality That's that's that's it um It's kind of amazing how you know for the for the If you really think about it for most of history

Most things are a lie And then they become true for a brief glimpse and then return back to being a lie That Sounds like bullshit for now For the moment Yeah Um Here's what's not bullshit for talking elden ring. Um

There is a mod Community as you know, that's going about their way doing all kinds of wild shit. I've seen some crazy clips on twitter um I saw someone summon in a mid-air Uh, what the fuck was a mid-air walking mausoleum That just lands on a group and i'm like counts as an enemy. What the fuck is happening in the mod community out here

um People are going nuts But what's really cool is uh that there is a Player named uh luke yui who's working on a seamless co-op mod And the idea is to basically let you co-op

Get a per get a friend to join in and stay connected to them throughout the game Um over the course of multiple areas even during oh, that's nice during and after boss battles. Um It's pretty awesome. Like there's some uh a couple of videos i've been put out showing off how uh, they were able to Have two players connected going through his own sitting down at a bonfire and then Taking on a boss one player dies Respawns and rejoins the boss fight Oh, that's interesting very interesting. It's like it's a larger co-op experience

um It's the person that made uh ds watchdog Then fuck yeah, uh because that was essential for when we were going through to avoid Cheats and bullshit And in this case it's being designed to avoid you getting banned Uh, of course, that would be fascinating if they can get that working Uh, so yeah luke has added

Uh that as well as some other quality of life features Including um You have the ability to vote on Fast travel So you see when someone selects return to the round table You see a message pop up on your screen that says vote Player whatever wants to go to the round table It needs a majority of the players in the session to agree

And if you all if the majority agree or whatever number threshold is agreed then you vote and go towards that warp location together Um It's awesome. That's really cool. It also works taking you into everjails together It shows you like one person gets to the ever jail Presses the the the confirm button and then the other person who's nearby kind of warps in with them So it's just it's an overall just a more comprehensive co-op experience that they're working on Um, yeah, I've been I've been poking my head around the mod seems depressing for me because like the my pc version Still runs like complete garbage like unplayable. Um, but

So far this past week. We've seen that uh work is Progressing quickly on the randomizer. Mm-hmm item randomizer. Nice. I saw well. No, it's not just items They loaded into market stage And redawn the fel omen Like it remixed the boss name Also, weird just starts running towards you And drops a random item

Uh, there's also people adding uh the the player character let me solo her As a summonable npc as a spirit ash There's all sorts of zany shit Happening in the mod community again for the pc version that runs so badly. I can't play it Yeah, um So it looks like the same creator also put out a standalone offline launcher That uh bypasses all the networking stuff so that if you're trying to make a mod And it lets you use your source code and use and not have to worry about any of the online stuff for getting banned or any of that

Shit while you're testing out your own mods. So um It's uh, it's it's pretty fucking cool um What is also he's in Added something called a stackable debuff called rot essence which gives you various ill effects every time you die It can be cured by resting at a site of grace

Good old hollowing Okay, okay, and yes, you don't need there's already a total conversion mod out And You don't need uh, I was gonna say you don't need to use fingers to summon friends either You can just uh, you can do it without it Damn, so that's cool mod scenes doing stuff I'm glad to play this once the game run good I I will admit that my expectation was that it would take a bit longer to get to this phase

But I guess this dance has been done With so so often with all the other games so far that like It just gets faster every time, you know, so it's a factor of two things one popularity which Done and the second is familiarity, which is like yeah, elden ring is just like dark souls 4 Like it's the same fucking thing Um, so yeah, that's pretty cool keep an eye out on that and yes, of course the the uh Shame about the you know, the that it has to be going alongside the pc version Um, but what are you gonna do? I think the most frustrating thing is that on this computer

Which is the 3080 in it and is dressed to the nines Uh, it runs like complete garbage on pages computer, which is middle of the road like a 2060. I think it is game runs flawlessly And it's like, oh, it's not that it's it's not that it's a performance hog. It's that it's terribly optimized It okay, it it's straight up. Yeah Um, it's optimized for the playstation 4 version and then the farther away you are from the playstation 4 version The worse it performs Uh Quite a bummer. Uh, I got more bummers for you too

Here i'm gonna send you. I'll hit me. I'm gonna send you a link to A twitter thread here Uh, so this is ponton fsd on twitter uh showed off a had you may know ipo fighting game that He made with an artist that'll never come out That looks fucking awesome

And never come out and this is the The one-two punch of the game you want it exists and also you'll never get to play it It's never coming. I'm watching it not come out right now. Yep. It's a fan made, uh, had you may know ipo game Well, here's the thing it sounds like at first like the more I was reading into the thread because the the creator the japanese, um It's a japanese post but the creator seems to speak english And and answer questions in both japanese and english and from what I can glimpse Uh, it's this fucking amazing looking fighting game 2d sprites look great Um, and it has all those things that I mean the shit that I love with the with the dodging and the weaving and the

Hyper hip boxing stuff. Um, you got sendo doing the smash blowing open meata's guard You got the crowd, you know screaming For rocky, you know what I mean? You got the down you got the ref all this everything is there. It looks so fucking sick um It's exactly the kind of what it looks like is that it's not coming out It looks so cool and uh the sprites look great as well And the uh thread basically is a part is the the creator going. Yep. Um This is a thing I worked on a while ago

and uh It won I the they got hired to work at um I think they went out to work as a fighting game dev at a bigger company So that project got shelved and it was their own personal thing. So there's legal stuff there There's the fact that the licensing as well could get them in trouble There's the part where the artist who worked on it said don't release the build and Uh, I believe there was even an aspect where through a publisher they showed the game to um

I forgot his name. Uh, the creator of hajime nobo george Uh, I forgot the name, but they showed it to him and basically said like hey, would you like this to be a thing? And he turned it down So, um, it's just triple super not happening um And it looks fucking sick So so i'm still looking at it and it's it's still not coming out. Yep. Yep So just witness bear witness to something that exists

in video form And and look at it as it as it instantly is not coming out There is one reply they made where they said that um, Maybe like redoing it with a completely different Set of sprites under a different, you know, like under a custom thing and not necessarily under hajime nobo's license Uh, could be one way if they ever got an opportunity in the future But yeah, but then no one would care if it came out. Well, uh, definitely not as many Definitely not as many but uh, yeah

Just just check that out and and fucking feel that in your chest Feel that feel that that that pain You know, I forgot to tell a story earlier, so it's really fast. I'm gonna tell it right now I spent 40 minutes before the podcast trying to kill a wasp that somehow got into the house Then I was terrified the whole day the whole time I didn't want it to sting me Did you get it? I did get it. I got it real bad too

Like I used like a I used a broom handle I had a flat top and I like crunched it On the ceiling and then I like twisted it to make sure that it like fucking it's dead Page got in the car and drove away Hahaha You know where there's one wasp She noticed it and she's like i'm out of here and she fucking grabbed her shit and got in the car and drove away Do you know where it came from because there might be more?

It came from outside Okay Territory defended Um Did you know That The sound of you getting your super meter filled up in third strike where it goes to you to to to let let's go let's go You know that clip

Yeah, I do. You know where that fucking comes from No The source has been revealed to have been 1966 batman Literally on one of the transitions in the show where it goes Let's go get out. It's a clip from batman adam west That's crazy wild shit That's fun. Um

Yeah, no shoutouts the fight a frequent fighting game facts because like I love Seeing these little things where it's like. Oh, yeah, here's the uh music video That they rotoscoped elena off of And it's a it's a little girl in a top hat doing a little dance and then she turns her hands her self sideways And then they just traced over that to get the high frame rate amazing elena animations like That's it's great. I love I love seeing that

Oh, yeah, it's fucking it's a batman sample Um All right, we got that uh, we got Uh, the fact that apparently Uh siphon filter one two dark mirror and logan's shadow have been rated for ps5 and ps4 in korea So, uh siphon filter collection two games are pretty good And then there's the psp ones But not the ps2 one

In that list those first two games are pretty good So here's the problem. Does that still stand if you're talking about a world where we stopped doing r1 l1 to a to strafe No because A return I bring up siphon filter. I realized more than uh, uh Expected because to me it's what Absolutely represents before we figured out how aiming should work in shooters. Oh those games control like trash you you Uh l1 r1 to strafe left and right and then you auto turn on your on your left and right d-pad

And then rely on your lock on or just fucking die um Also the opposite of a cover system where your aim gets better when you stand still And crouch and and get closer to the enemy outside of cover basically Now to be fair Siphon filter might have aged like shit, but when you taze a guy for so long he bursts into flame So, uh, yeah That collection might be coming

right around the corner That's gonna be a fascinating fucking like trip to the past For people that didn't know how games started to control I mean the answer is bad. Mm-hmm that that it's it's to me. It's it's siphon filter and mega man legends that are just like peak we didn't have the two analog sticks to help us out It's platform shooting

Uh uh from the ps1 days, you know, uh, it used to be rough man. It used to be rough There's a skill to strafing and holding holding r1 and and you know, uh, uh Turning the camera at the same time to create a wider berth Around certain things that you're targeting, you know, you can eventually like get used to that control style and and and Get good at it, but it's it's it's fucking brutal So there was a couple steps during that process, right? So siphon filter at least appreciates the need to strafe while being able to control the directions So it's not the end of the world. It's just a little awkward

If you want to go back to complete madness, you need to go back to fucking first person shooters from like the fucking early 90s When strafe wasn't even like an assumed button Right where it was just forward backward and turn where your where your primary buttons If you want to go to the left you have to face the left Doom with mouse look was like holy shit Go back and play doom without mouse. Look you will freak out how awkward it is Um

Yeah, I uh I think though that's like Anything but like ps1 controller specific is it's it's it's not It's not the same as the the old keyboard. You know, it's it's it's it's a very Unique level of jank especially pre lock on I think the absolute wildest version Of the future

air quotes of analog controls Was the first mandatory playstation one Dualshock game apescape In which they use the right analog stick exclusively for weapon use and mechanics and it still had the old Hit like l1 to re-center the camera camera controls because it was it was a let's show off the controller Feet new then it let's off the new accessory kind of game

Yeah, and you can use the rc car with the analog stick and you but you you you swing the sword with the analog stick and all that shit That game rules Uh a couple other things going on the In the the the train of movies from game adaptations continues Uh in this case now it takes two movie adaptation apparently in the works Um the sonic the hedgehog writers are on board as is dwayne the rock johnson So I mean

Dude if if faris got the rock on board for uh, it takes two movie sure Get that paycheck It's a it's a fucking rock movie. It's gonna be insane What are you gonna do? um I I look forward to the rock having a cutesy adventure about divorce

for the children Don't get divorced Or a creepy book will force you to terrorize your child If you have kids Especially don't get divorced Literally kids would rather see fighting every day of their lives than have their parents be divorced So Traumatize your child says the game. It was great though. Do it. It was great. It was really good pussy. No balls

Um Did you I forgot did you did you touch that or no? Did I touch getting divorced? It takes two Oh, no, I haven't okay For me page will probably hit that when um, when we got the full setup properly done once again Yeah, that's it's it's a good one. It's a good one. Um nap

that's drop in uh, there was a Interview with yoji shinkawa who While talking about working with kojima and such dropped that He is interested in designing a real life car I don't know about you, but

As someone who thinks jehu tea is one of the sexiest mecha designs of all time Uh I'm I'm instantly sold. Is this a big cock or what? Yeah. Hell. Yeah through the cockpit. Yeah I There's only one thing I don't like about the cockpit what and and they show it off in um I forget which one but it's so out there that there's a point and in one or two I forget which one where somebody just like goes to stab the dick part with the sword and it's like it's right there It's right there. No protection. Nope. It's it's a wreck nothing protecting you at all get it

Um, yeah, if if if yoji is designing a vehicle and Uh that HUD in game in game in car In vehicle Is designed is designed by koji pro. I'm in you got my attention. Fuck it If you can if you can have a a char themed fucking Gundam car Just just make two cars and have them be the color palettes of the newbis With the same kind of metal stylings and the lines but only sating lines. Yeah, but but like they have their uh, uh Unleashed mode where you you you use the full power of the engine

but only Only the anubis car only the the j-hootie car can Catch up to the anubis speed I gotta I gotta say man that that aesthetic of like the the line of energy that That goes the whole way and then turns off and then goes the whole way That's the best on everything I mean look if you start up your car and then eta's voice kicks in and says hello Are we not

Are we not living the good life? Is that not all we need? really Man, I gotta go back and play some of the inters too again. Okay. Oh, right Give me knight rider, but instead of kit But instead of kit give me eta. It's it's really simple God that game is so the best game that's ever had a robot in it. It's amazing. It's so unbelievable Uh, if you feel like experiencing Like

Absolute gut sickness, but rad shit at the same time try the vr mode Oh, no, I'll have you. Yeah, it's the best and worst thing simultaneously. It's horrifying, but it's so cool Is it the equivalent of like man piloting one of these would be real tough exactly It is it is you get the feeling of oh my god. I'm in the cockpit Immediately followed by holy fucking shit. I'm in the cockpit. This is the worst get me out of here You know it's now that we have vr and we have situations like this We we can now retroactively go back to the the fucking 60s And be like yeah char's shit just goes three times faster

And you're like is the robot any different? No, and I can just see char getting into a vr headset and be like This doesn't make me sick at all you pussies Like oh Oh, that's right. Oh, there it is right there That's the extent there you go if you want if you want to get banged around Uh, give that give that mode a shot the next time you pop it on Um Yeah, no and also I mean fucking yo, jeez. Yo, jeez the goat like paint me a concept car with ink lines

What'll it look like in reality who gives a fuck? Let the manufacturers figure it out Um And I can't I just went and I was like I'm trying to look at like okay, which version of zone the enders the second runner is the best one I think it's the ps4 version Right because that got redone

Do you remember that? Yeah, the the golden box uh, uh, re-release. Yeah, you can just go grab that one So that's easily accessible and then I click on it and I you know youtube or google shows you the things And I am reminded of the greatest trailer ever that makes No sense That is the zone of the enders to second runner launch trailer Not a single line of dialogue or written text on that whole thing Makes a goddamn liquor sense. It's meaningless It that trailer is so good depends on the skill of the runner

Do you know anybody know how many of my friends died back there? Yeah Yeah, oh fuck that's back in the day when at the end of the trailer The the fucking japanese director would just put words at the end and go that's the genre It the genre is high speed robot action and that just appears as text on an establishing shot It was an era it was a time and and That's basically what I want the feeling of his car to evoke. That's that's pretty much exactly it I you know what feeling I want the car to evoke. This is going to be really specific

You'll have to have played zone of the enders on the ps2 to get it I want the car to start telling me shit And I want the feeling of revving the engine and letting like letting loose on a burnout to be the same As doing the palm orb Smash on the tutorial and the snow breaks open and the fraymate goes And you see all the particles go everywhere. That's what I wanted to feel like when you burn out Uh Yeah, yeah, we can we can get there. We can do it

Every time you use the camera To like look at upcoming traffic and it and it a new a new vehicle appears You hear that little lock-on noise? You know as it as it it it locks on to each thing you see As soon as you fill up at the gas station and you turn it on you hear a nice little obtained metatron I just do it. I just had a mental image That will Like or an audio image rather that will make people lose their minds. Okay in the jehu tea car

You have the sensor that tells you when you're parallel parking That you're too close and eta's voice comes over goes a little to the left a little to the left back Yeah, a little to a little to the a little back a little to the right a little to the a little to the right Yeah, yeah, yeah And just fucking you get too close It just starts. What was it like dain? What was it the warning?

Was it actually like danger? I forget I I I mean I it's Go back to the beginning go back. Oh god. There was something in there. I forget what it was I forget but yeah um Absolutely, that's a freebie It's the best. Give me that give me that all day Um Somebody in the chat's got a great idea make this spoiler on the enupus car

Attached to the car with like a magnet system or like thin wires So it looks like it's floating off the fucking car and the moment you get an offender bender that shit falls the fuck off It explodes. It just flies everywhere like projectile. That's great. Fuck it Uh We can't have fun And now I'm realizing that the zone of the enders too has me and you

Saying the most appreciably wrong shit we've ever said in our lives Because that video went out Like the day before Kojima got fired and the whole mecha week video we're talking about Oh, man. Kojima just runs that place man. He's never he could do whatever he wants. Was that the timing on it? I forget and he was being fired like wildly. We were recording the episode I Mean look I went I went back through it with uh with min like uh been 2019 or so and you know, it's just

That shit still holds up man. Oh, it's the it's the best still holds up It's a game you can hold up and be like hey, you know what can carry a whole game good controls Just Carry the whole thing but also like perfect art design Yeah, well, that's it. It just topped the bottom, you know um anyway Uh, so so so that that I hope that I hope that that that someone takes him up on the offer there

I want to just see the man Uh, uh his designs used on any Item that has to exist in the real world. Mm-hmm a coffee pot A yoji shinkawa fucking toaster clothes Like anything like anything. I don't care Um, okay, they So there's that and then the

Uh, this is more just a fucking if you're if you're in there on On the guilty gear lore. They announced the next uh story Is come into strife And they showed off uh that it's gonna focus on all the characters that were not in the main story for strife so Bike in and ramlethal and may and all the people that were basically out of the that's nice All the people that were not in the white house at the time Um

And they also showed off delilah Who was teased just like uh happy chaos was teased in excerpt delilah was also teased At the end of bed man's story Uh, you got to see if you if you if you watch the guilty gear lore, you'll remember there's that little clip where uh As bed man is on the way out Two legs appear in front of him and then you get the the tattoos that he has on them So they showed her off and now delilah is is going to be confirmed for the next story She's awake and she's uh

Going to be out for revenge for her brother um Azar I I Don't think Well, we'll see like I know that like some of bikin's lines in the game have made reference to the fact that they're working together That she's protecting her or something along those lines And it didn't seem like she was going to be necessarily someone like that comes in as the new villain per se

but I'm hard calling that she's going to be the next playable character in in in season pass two Um, just a good old bed woman bed woman straight up Yeah Uh, there's also like a screenshot of what looks like bikin fighting bed man's bed on its own No, man with no one in it. So Uh, who the fuck knows? Uh, but yeah, expect delilah and expect, um What if I don't know if like the bed is going to be like a separate thing or if it's that's just plot

Oh story only or whatever, but uh, yeah If you if you didn't like bed man tough bad girls coming I didn't like bed man well Oh It's it's uh, you gotta have your freak picks we've talked about this right Can't just be cool all the way across yeah, you're right woolly in guilty gear doesn't have enough freak picks Well, there's freak cool guilty gear has some categories a freak cool pick and and and then full on freak weirdo pick, you know They they subcategorize as the whole game has tons of freaks like

Abba is a freak cool pick You know, it's not just a freak pick in any other game would be the freak pick But guilty gear's got more is a proper freak pick freak zappa is a freak freak pick A super freak pick exactly You know so, uh As a game that embraces the freak pick you gotta you gotta subcategorize it Um, anyway Fucking Faust used to be a freak cool pick and now he's back to being a freak pick

I mean It was a freak pick in doctor baldhead form. Yeah, he was a he started freak pick freak pick Then Faust became Yeah, he's he's he's freak cool. He is freak cool Um And now he's back to zombo freak. Yeah, we still got the bag, but no I follow that Uh Anyway, and then uh last but not least over here, uh, if you use the Bethesda launcher, it's shutting down

male 11th PSA Wait, isn't that that launcher that doxed all those people? Uh, it might be That thing was uh around and Uh If I do say so I believe quite shit Was uh how we talked about it the last time we brought this up on the podcast

I once spoke to somebody about that launcher who would know and they described the internal Departments associated with that launcher as being a bunch of idiots who are just constantly infighting each other instead of working So Fucking fantastic surprised Here's the thing though, um In a fully like and and it's nice that it's like in fully admitting defeat here They've released detailed instructions on what to do as of april 27th to transfer all of your saves and data over to steam So your wallet your games your purchases and everything on your account data

Will be able to go towards a steam account so that you don't actually lose your purchases Which is nice that it's not just lol lmao Fuck off and shut down, you know Is this is this like The most dramatic launcher failure yet because like ea pulled their shit from origin And like came

To steam but you still use origin you just use the light version of the origin client so so origin and and uh you play and like they force their existence inside of steam regardless and Epic just continues to barrel through it doesn't matter How bad the product is right like when a launcher is bad you can just Not care and steam roll ahead So the fact that this one is actually calling it quits maybe it can take the throne as the worst launch

Yeah, of worst launcher. It's it's uns the Bethesda launcher is like unsalvageably bad and also like constantly breaks your bullshit and also um Doxed people Um It it gets to live alongside games for windows live of Bad of bad launcher um

I don't think gfwl doxed anyone but um games for windows live did result in me uh sitting there Going i can't believe i can't play batman Why won't you fucking you're caught in an update loop forever?

Hmm I remember when we learned how to do compliance for games for windows live and in contrast to the like 30 to 40 pages of like, you know console guidelines you would get uh against for windows live was like two It was like two pages of things to check

Um, that's weird considering it's on pc. You'd think it'd be a little more comprehensive Well, you know wild west right like pc game do what you want Go nuts um PC before in the early in those days was the shelbyville of video game Uh platforms it's we we came out here to marry our cousins. What are you what the fuck you talking about? I think I think my favorite part. What rules games for windows thing is that there is a folder on my Uh one of my drives

That i'm not allowed to delete because fantasy star online installed there And um, I don't have my own admin privileges for it. No, no, no, no And it's literally I would have to format this. Yes to get rid of it partition and destroy that section of the drive How dare you you're you're not fantasy star at like qualified That's that's the games folder. You legitimately don't understand I Don't why why I like that Um, I haven't paid attention, but I've heard about didn't battle net go through its like pain years

That wasn't nearly as bad, okay I remember steam went through its pain years of so long ago and there was no competition so nobody remembers And then there's gfg You know, I mean gog rather um But yeah, gog is fine. They're they're they're their launcher system galaxy is like Kind of pointless But it's fine. It's just we'll add add all your other shit basically and it'll do its job. But yeah, um, again

I I'm I it's nice that in its death cries They give you the ability to salvage your purchases um, it's They could have been just Way more I would I would expect more consumer hostility and just like we're shutting down too bad. Fuck you, you know so because uh, Bethesda looked like they were gonna move To the situation where like You needed the Bethesda launcher to play Bethesda games and we're gonna make so much more money because we're gonna

You know, it's margins for steam games, right? And then the test game was fallout 76 Which Goodie and then they put fallout 76 on steam and I bet you anything That what they saw Was the the amount that steam takes doesn't matter because they said they sold Probably 100 times more copies on steam Because it's on steam fucking see it and it goes on sale sometimes Shout outs to

Our playthrough of mirrors edge back in the day on origin pc version of the game that got advertised on the origin What's hot feature tab and stayed there for months In which if i'm not mistaken, we actively shit on the origin launcher In in the videos uh Extensively and it was featured on the on the front page of the actual origin videos community thing I don't think anything will ever beat the experience of submitting a machinima video That we didn't know there was going to be a full-blown connect pre-roll on and then the video is connect go die

That's what happens when people in different departments don't talk to each other Oh, man, woolly. I need to tell you something I'm gonna send you the name of a game I recently got contacted through my business email in a big loud paid opportunity stream For the game I just sent you And then i'm like, oh cool. How much are you guys offering and got sent an email back that was like nothing Wow, that was that was a mistake. Wow. I just go But it says

Paid opportunity And they go that that email was sent in error Damn dude And I'm like, wow, I have never been more incentivized to not cover something Well, uh, thank you for reaching out I'm happy to say that I've I've confirmed that uh The email I've received For raid shadow legends has finally landed and oh, I've got I've got 10 of them

I they won't stop sending it to me. It's it's it's it's one of those like It's like I I just I'm just happy to see it there. You know, you're just like there it is There's that legendary game I have to imagine they can't possibly still be uh operating At in the green in any way shape or form or in the black I should say and still offering the rates they used to at a Glance, uh, they're not they're not no, but I'm like, but I'm looking at it and I'm like But the meme though, I think

I think I think the wildest thing about the raid shadow legends Thing that I can say because I never signed any of them was They're like make sure to say it in your own words And then they have like eight pages of deliverables of things you have to say And I'm like, this doesn't look like my own goddamn words, man Um, but on top of that is that every month you get a raid shadow legends email from like a different outfit Different different marketing companies that are that are representing them from this streaming company This one's from this social media company

And sometimes they're stacked up on top of each other because they all get a cut if you do accept it Hell, yeah Oh, you know what I'm gonna go to my business email right now I have my favorite tweet. I've ever received in my business email. I made a I've made a tweet about it. Um Fuck Oh, there's a raid one, you know, there it is. Um god, where is it? Fuck I'm not gonna be able to find it in time go ahead to hit the next story while I dig this piece of shit up It's hilarious. Well, I'm gonna grab some emails if you oh, yeah, it's an email

I want to send the letter you can send it over to castle super beast mail at gmail.com It's castle super beast mail at gmail.com Um, and if I see a letter from you offering me raid shadow legends, then that's how I know I've made it Here's an email that I received. I was able to find it as a as a good taster Here is My it's my favorite business email. I've ever received in my career pat stairs at paid collaboration Want to book your tweet to share our official tweet? Hi friend

Hope this email finds you well. This is name redacted We want to book your tweet to share our official tweet. This tweet is about the game Could you please? Give me your offer about this tweet. Hope to hear from you soon best regards Person's name and the name of the company End of email It's about the game

Please tell us your rate now About the game about the tweet the tweet The tweet about the game I can do you get those whether like how much for game and I'm like what game? Why won't you say what the fucking game is? I mean, there's a whole lot that just gets filtered to be perfectly honest. So, uh, yeah Oh, I want all the trash. There's so much trash in there. Oh, man. It's garbage Speaking of do you have any emails the god sent in the csv email? Sure. Uh, we got one coming in over here

uh from beta who says uh greetings to our world's worth of alexandria pluto's knights and dwarven king patrick of the uh cord Dwarf villa. Okay. Yeah. Good. Yeah, good All right to do to to date to I write to you today to tell you about yoshitaka Amano's artwork for final fantasy And uh, why they would even bother to hire the man when the sprites look nothing like his art Um, though before I begin this might be from memory. So I might be wrong about some of the details chat can probably correct the mistakes

Well, um in in full disclosure, I'm just going to read the first part of this beta. No, no disrespect It just kind of goes on a little bit, but um It started with the original final fantasy game When they were looking for an artist that would make illustrations for the game that may inspire the imagination and both the sprites Uh of the artists and the players and the designs of the monsters in the game Uh, I forget who but I think the producer suggested Amano as a possible pick Uh, but Sakaguchi turned him down saying that he wanted the game's art to look like the artwork of this magazine here And the magazine artist that he was interested in was Amano

Perfect. So they got him on the project and that's that's that's been history ever since Yeah Um, it goes on but I think that's that's the fun part Somebody in the chat points out that regardless of Amano's actual like level of like representation in the game's sprite art That dude knows how to make a killer logo Mm-hmm Um It's honestly the it just like

Uh shinkawa when you look when your your work looks like an artist that is from outside of the game industry It just becomes the most unique and fucking awesome thing ever as a signature for an ip or for a series You know like it it doesn't look like what other games are doing It's a specific style that is now the identity and like it's the best decision ever when you like marry that That design choice to the to your franchise, you know um I I have grown like I liked arcane and the league of legends art is very shiny

um, but when I see some of those those like peak character like Glowy armor things happening and I'm like is that a blizzard or is that a league? And I can't tell the difference distinction is actually totally meaningless because in many cases It's the same actual people Fair enough and uh, it is one of those one of those Like companies that gets born by a bunch of people leaving one company and making their new company. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm And it's very like it's gorgeous art, but I just i'm unable to distinguish, you know

um So yeah, uh, that's that's fucking cool Uh, we got one coming in over here from Jackie who says Why drop the ball when you can spike it? Dear other. I'm an apologist and st. Anger superfan While ubisoft's rapid decline into scum baggery and inconsistent game quality has been widely documented Wanted to talk about the swan song that spun out into a cash grab

um, so some spoilers for splinter cell conviction ahead if you're uh, don't don't worry about it I got now i'm we're good. Well just talking to the audience In splinter cell can do don't worry in splinter cell conviction let them decide Sam fisher is a vengeful old man He decides uh, he learns that his daughter Didn't die in the previous game and he's actually now She's in her mid 20s Sam brutally and viciously runs through a one last job narrative where he's too old and too outnumbered to save everybody

But he still manages to save the country and return to a quiet life with his daughter Cut to three years later sam fisher and splinter cell blacklist looks 30 years younger Is voiced by a new character and is almost all mean and all almost all meaningful consequence from conviction are conveniently never mentioned Again, he's fully enrolled black back in the military overall did a 180 of it where the previous finale left him Despite blacklist building on convictions technical prowess the narrative completely ignores the previous games Uh, and what happened? Uh, can you think of any media where the character is written into a fulfilling ending only to be soured by a sequel or soft reboot immediately? Always do come every metal gear game

So because he writes it like it's it's the it's the last one Every single metal gear game Raiden Shooting a gun at all after the end of metal gear solid too. It's like a fucking total 180 But I don't hate it though Yeah, no, it's fine. It's I don't hate it at all. You know, I it's not a situation where I'm like, I wish it never happened Also every yakuza game that has cure you in it

Really? God, I'm so sick of the yakuza crap Uh, I hate it. I gotta leave. I gotta get out of this life. Okay. Oh, man. I can't let the clan down, man Uh, yeah that to me at that point like If you're gonna like why not just go if you're doing the soft reboot if you're starting over if you're ignoring what just happened Why not just bring in the new character at that point? You know, why not bring in the nero If you're if you're gonna just keep the name splinter cell and you basically want to start over

So I think with splinter cell like usually the answer is but the character, right? But the character is more popular than the series But in splinter cell was extra confusing because the character is michael ironside So like they didn't have michael ironside you replace his voice actor So what the fuck is the point at all? Make a nero and then later later for ghost lands They got the sandfisher back, but he was the old sandfisher and voiced by michael ironside And has unironically the best in-game send-off to snake

In a game despite it not being a metal gear game. Did you not see that? No There's a there's a there's a minor little thing when he shows up in the ghost lands dlc A ghost or whatever it is And he describes like oh, there's not a whole lot of old guys like me left. There was another guy out there He was army or something like to sneak around and then another character says, oh that guy retired and he goes, oh So it's just me, huh? And he's got like this sad old hand That's cool. That's fun. I don't mind that right and he's like it's a genuinely like little nice moment of like Oh, man. He retired. Oh bummer

Um Here's one coming in from ryan from burlington says ever uh dear castle dodge um ever since Monster hunter i've always hated when games contain core mechanics But don't tell you how they work and force you to do supplemental online research to find out how to play Examples include iframes not giving you the kind of indicator of what part of the animation is safe to pass through enemy hitboxes Monster hunters elemental weaknesses and most of the stuff involved in armor and weapon customization in the franchise

Don't give a damn if I sound crazy, but it's the game's job to tell you how it works Not the player base's job to disseminate critical hidden knowledge Uh, what are examples where integral gameplay mechanics are never taught to the player in game? Ro you need to stay away from the entire bioware character like Fucking catalog before the year 2007 because if you don't already know advanced dungeons and dragons 2.0 or 3.0 Fucking good luck figuring that shit out I feel like There's a part of me that understands there's like there's a there's limits on some of that

um the idea of Breaking down animation and iframes Like might not be what the game's level of like they might not want to break a game down into that level of like technical transparency um But if you start to broach that In a in the game by showing off any kinds of numbers then be real about it, right? So I bring it up a bunch, but especially in in elden ring, but the i the c plus c minus c

scaling stuff there's nothing but Frustration to come from that decision right if you never show anything about the weapon and its numbers Then fine you decided to not ever show anything But if you show some things But then hide other numbers while being really really open about some numbers Why arbitrarily choose to hide others? You know um

anything that that that uh Uh Is a game where they are showing you some things but hiding others from you Is more frustrating than a game where they outright are like no, we just don't want to show you any of the The the the guts Hey, woolly is c strength on the great sword the same as c strength scaling on the long sword Who the fuck knows Some guy on fexter life

I mean like you know as I was describing with the cestus specifically I had three different versions of c scaling across dex strength and int that uh All said c but affected the top dev damage number differently You know It just that shit is i'm always going to be annoyed by that because there's just there's no reason there's no reason for that um You know fighting games start of course with special moves being hidden In the in the arcades, you know, and then the history of them is such that it becomes a known

Uh a secret and fatalities and then knowing how to do super desperation moves and fatal fury and shit You know, it's it's part of the language of the the history of the genre um, I want to give a big shout out To every developer that decided that the way they wanted to word their skill was the phrase Increases damage by a small amount Or increases the chance of critting significantly Go to hell

Heals right the number heals a moderate amount of damage Oh my god. Oh, Jesus. Shit a moderate amount. You say wow good to know the fucking number write the number God damn it. Yeah It's just there's a I understand when some people have a A design philosophy that is like Players I don't want to scare anyone away with too many numbers But if you're if that's not what you're doing and you've decided to show some numbers Show them all fucker show them all embrace that people are going to be min maxing things

And just and just give them the truth Hey, willie. Hmm. I got a patch note for the For you here. You ready? various Other changes have been made various adjustments have been made The dark the elton ring patch notes also have those it's like various other changes and performance improvements. I'm like like what? Changed the intended function of the move Yeah, I I think my favorite one is like modified properties of x

No elaboration at all like oh my god So, you know, how are you gonna like like you can't get mad when your community starts releasing fucking like straight box and hurt box pictures and videos And just oh, yeah Going into the nitty gritty rip your shit open if you're not gonna be about it If you're not gonna be honest, you know, wow, we have a great comment in the chat Imagine what playing hades would be like if there were no numbers

Wow Wow Terrible like unplayable Literally unplayable Oh, that'd be garbage That's exactly it. That's exactly it and even down to the minor amounts, you know, like Eight one percent here a little bit of this this much gold Oh my god

That'd be a miserable experience Dude, I love good patch notes Like I've made like 10 streams now me just going through 14 patch notes Because they're detailed and they have the only thing they hide is spoiler shit And then you get to the bottom and you see resolved issues. You're like, I didn't even know that was broken. That's crazy That was really broken. You had to change that People love good patch notes. It's a genuine value add. Everybody likes it So let me ask you you worked in you worked in in in the games business bad patches

Are those the result of people In the in the team just not giving a shit about making good patches Or is it the person whose job it is to compile the patch notes gets the notes from everybody and the notes from this guy are I fixed it I've tested patches for games, but I've never been a part of the writing process to to you know Like describe what to tell the the the player base so I can only speculate but Straight up it's it just seems to be at least when it comes to like fighting games and the stuff that I'm familiar with

it just seems to be a like a Trying to create an illusion of how much we want to hold the player's hand or not There's there especially during the oh nine years of of fighters that were getting patched there was a night there was a feeling of If we tell the player too much about uh, how to play the characters and to play the game They won't be able they'll just follow our word as law instead of doing things and discovering things on their own Which is completely stupid

It's completely harebrained dumb ass fucking Logic, but it's a like no let's not give too much information about what to do let let let people Figure it out for themselves. So it's like let's hide Balance changes and just let people feel The updates and feel the general differences as if people are not already pausing the game and skipping forward by frames To make frame data out of your moves And figure it out do it just save them some time. It's so it's it's so stupid I've said it before and i'll say it again

I'm gonna give a shout out to the hat and time developers for my personal favorite patch note ever Which was in the nyakaza dlc If the cutscene crashes it will still play on restart quote. Sorry pat end quote And uh rising thunder, you know, which uh said hey, we made the command grab a little bit slower by this many frames And reach a little bit further by this much distance Here's what we originally designed the move to do we wanted you to use it in this way But people were not using it that way instead. This is what happened So with this adjustment, here's how we expect it'll work now

And a solid three paragraphs about that one change I love that. I love that it never it never gets better than that. It's like fucking thank you It shows us where your head is at on the design every every dev Every dev that that puts out those little infographics And like it's like a blog post that's just going over like here's why we're changing this like it's incredible. I love it I love it. It's one of the things I actually get really frustrated with when I watch the ff 14 like, um Fucking uh live letters where they're talking about balance changes and they're like we are aware that dragoon is Underperforming we will be making various adjustments

And then they'll give you the adjustments and they're all very clear But you're like I There's one particular barred thing where six months ago they fucking knocked 20 damage off A move and then they decided to buff barred by putting it back on Like just reverting the change Ah, I love it I hate it. All right. Last one I gotta know

um I guess we're gonna go with Kirby here Says what game do you regret purchasing? The title says it all So why is it chrono cross? It's not It's not I don't regret purchasing chrono cross. What game do you regret purchasing?

Uh, does it count if I was able to return it before it came out? I mean, I guess so that counts as a brink Brinks advertising campaign was a plus And then it came out and me and my buddy, uh, dan had fucking bought it on amazon and we're like, oh man We gotta send this shit the fuck back soon as it comes over here old man And then we did Oh, he's going to get something. What's he going to get? Well, while woolly's going to get something I can now look at my esteem list and go to the the the folder called done with that I have

There's a lot of bad games That would be regret, but then they turn into amazing fun things There's a lot of games that land in the middle that I never even get around to um That kind of just become forgettable But there's only one game That I can fully truly from the bottom of my heart say that I 100 percent regret purchasing Which is

Death cargo death cargo Yeah, yeah, you're right All right, everybody that's a podcast You