Castle Super Beast - CSB 217: King Of The Hill: SHIPPUDEN

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps New Death Metal Shirts! http://tinyurl.com/CSBshirts San Francisco was Friendly Trying the Full Cast in Street Fighter 6  Casette Beasts: We Can Do Better Than Pokemon At Home Jedi Survivor, Redfall: That'll be $10 Extra for Your Bad PC Port Peggy Hill vs TikTok, Hank Hill vs ChatGPT Watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://expressvpn.com/superbeast to get an extra 3 months free. The UK says it is BLOCKING Microsoft’s $69 billion purchase of Activision Blizzard. Microsoft says it will appeal. King of the Hill Actor Confirms Revival Will Feature a Time Jump SHIPPUDEN Gran Turismo Movie Trailer Released First Mortal Kombat 12 tease looks like a grain of sand Vampire Survivors animated TV series in the works Redfall's day one patch drastically improved performance for me after a poor pre-release showing Digital Foundry | Star Wars Jedi: Survivor is the worst triple-A PC port of 2023 so far https://vxtwitter.com/i/status/1652512411239469056

faire d'l' oğlum here here here here here here here

Alright, there we are. Hello. Hey, Wally. I have a question for you. Mm-hmm. What's the deal with fighting games? Like, what's up with them? Like as in like what's the deal with airplane food? As in what is the deal with airplane food? Oh, good start today. Yeah, someone should, someone should fix that. I mean, ew, am I right? Oh, gross. You know what the worst thing that's ever happened to what's the deal with jokes? Is someone explaining to me like a couple years ago, I went, oh, what's the deal with airplane, airplane food. And someone in the chat goes, um, when you cook food at weird

air concentrations and high altitudes, it actually tastes completely different. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, oh, shit. And then I looked it up and like, no, no, actually, yeah, food in the sky tastes different. That's why it's so. But it's also like pre-cooked and it's heated by this one, like, like, I feel like the compartment to heat the food up is like next to the engine block or something. And, you know, and it just happens to sit right there and then you kind of get it out. And it's like, we have to serve the food now because now is when the temperature is correct. Therefore, here, fucking, it's, you know, it's gotten better from the days of the Seinfeld jokes.

Yeah. But, um. So have fighting games gotten better since the day of the Seinfeld jokes? Fighting games, fortunately, have gotten better since the days of the Seinfeld. They have gotten slightly better, you know. Um, they, there's, there's some movement. There's some improvement on that front to the point where there's even TV shows about, um, uh, uh, anime girls getting good at fighting games now. Right. Is that another show about anime girls getting good at fighting games or the, the first one? Uh, well, the first one, except now it's live action.

Oh, that's what it, okay. That's what that is. So, okay. Uh, they announced an adaptation of, um, uh, what should we call it? High score girl? Not high score girl. Um, um, what's it, uh, uh, uh, something don't play fighting games or, or, uh, what the fuck was it called? Something, something girls don't play. Girls don't play fighting games. That's what it was called. Young ladies don't play fighting games.

Yeah. There you go. That one. And, uh, they, they announced a live action adaptation of it and, uh, Aru is in it. Who's, um, one of the known Japanese commentators and street fighter five is all over it. Uh, perfect timing for street fighter five to be the main game of this new adaptation, you know, What are they going to do? What are they going to do? I mean, damn. They're, they're you, they're having live action street fighter stuff and the game in

the thing. They can't, they can't do nothing. It takes time. If you've ever seen, uh, like a meme of like a manga panel of like an anime girl holding an arcade stick popping off going, let's fucking go. Oh, that's, that's where that comes from. Um, but, uh, so there's that and yeah, high school girls, the other one, but anyway, that's, that's happening. So you know, um, yeah, feels like maybe, maybe fighting games, maybe fighting games. So you played street fighter six a little bit this past week. A little bit. Yes.

So did the experience of playing street fighter six leave you a vomiting blood for hours? It did not. I'm a good start. I'm here to report. Um, yep. So, uh, got to go check out the final builds and, uh, get hands on. And so, uh, grabbed Reggie, went to Capcom. Um, and the most noteworthy thing, um, to me about the trip actually was, I mean, there's a lot of good old, yay, fighting game stuff, but I couldn't believe how crazy our one day in San Francisco was. We're only there for a day.

One day. Went for one day. That's, that's packing it in, man. Um, it, San Francisco, like I've, okay, just right out the gates, it is an unusual amount of people being friendly all the time, aggressively friendly. Like I've, I've had Southern hospitality. I've been around, I've traveled and I've gone to places where there's a lot of countries where they say, oh, everyone's really nice. And it's like, yeah, if you're a tourist or you're for, you're from out of town and you're, and

there's like another language and you make an effort to kind of speak it or so. A lot of people will be like, ah, okay, you're cool here. Let me help you out and stuff. A lot of people around the world are very nice. It's, it's, it's a, a thing you'll, you'll, you'll hear about. I would say most people on the earth are pretty chill. Now, the last time I went to San Francisco, um, it was very quick. It was only for a few hours and, um, it was, you know, to, to touch dragon ball fighters and, um, that was the, oh yeah, I should have downloaded the human poop map to tell me about this, this poop on the ground here that belongs to a human

being. That's a really bad thing for tourists to have to think about going to your city. I mean, there's the part where you see it and you go, that's not a dog, right? And then there's the other part where you go, there's an app for this and I know about it now. That's the most San Francisco way to solve a nearly uniquely San Francisco problem. Hey, uh, how do we stop people from shitting? I don't know, but what if we had an app to track it? If you, if anyone's unaware of this and is hearing it for the first time, uh, in San Francisco, there's so many instances of human feces, uh, on the streets, uh, on

the sidewalks that there's an app to tell you where it is and how to avoid it because you're probably going to encounter it before it gets removed. So that's such a fucking dystopic fucking nightmare thing. Not great. Um, but none of that this time, uh, went down, uh, checked out the game, had a good time with that. And then, um, it was a limited period of time. So I had a whole day to just come back and enjoy what, whatever was going on. And I was like, what do I do with one day in San Francisco? And we were just walking around and no fewer than like 10 people over the course of one day, like just walked up and went, Hey, how's it going? Where are you guys from? Just what's going on, you know,

and just like, Oh, hi, what's up? You know, um, oh, that's weird. Yeah. And really just really friendly. And I was kind of like, now I've heard about the LA specific thing of like, uh, cool. By the way, here's my headshot. Put me in a movie, please. You never know who you're talking to type thing. I've heard of that. Please put me in a movie, but that's not necessarily what was happening here. Uh, we just straight up star struck up conversations with random people constantly. And they were fun and nice. And you know, just riffed in some, some, some guy walked by and it was like, ah, you're trying to make me jealous, trying to make me upset. And I was like, what? And he's like, cause he's like, cause I lost

all my hair and look at yours or whatever. Like, sure, man, you know, and Yeah, Americans are super friendly. It's, it's like slightly distressing. And I was waiting for the turn in many instances to be like, what's the cell going to be? What's the thing here? And there wasn't much of that really. There was, and, and, you know, like so Reggie and I were just like, you know, laughing it up and yucking it up with the folks. The one, um, one thing too is of course the, if that applies to just people, if it's standing on a street corner, it happens twice. Um, we get into an Uber and then it's good. Like each every Uber driver is going to be a big old conversation for sure. Oh yeah.

Um, and, uh, so I was like, yeah, what do we do? And I was like, oh, what the fuck do we got? Uh, again, so let me ask you, just to, just to place this in my mind, how much you show up at what time you go to Capcom at what time and then you're free. So, you know, like, yeah. So basically it, like, you're like, I talk about it throughout the videos that I'm releasing, but it's extremely, it's extremely limited. I mean, I get there like, we're basically like getting there for like nine, um, and we're getting out at one and um, you know, it, and the, the amount of time that everyone's getting to touch the game is, uh, they're not letting you kind of just go nuts with it. Everyone's like, no, you

get this much and then do what you want to do, but then get the fuck, you know, like it's very, and then not only somebody like standing over your shoulder pretty much the whole time. Uh, no, but like they're there in the room, you know, it's, it's a capture event. It's, it's, you know, if, if you've seen any of those, it's kind of just like, you have a bunch of stations up and you know, people are around, you can ask questions if you'd like and such, but for the most part, um, yeah, it was just one of those things where it was, and it was also kind of divided into different sections. So like, you know, um, the, the part that we're capturing free play training, fighting ground, all that stuff

is one part of it. Uh, and then there's another part where we're checking out world tour, you know, so like you don't exactly, you're not just, you're, some of it is limited to certain modes in a way. So it's even cut in a little bit even more, you know. Um, so something that you're is going to be, uh, consistent across the board when, uh, all the, cause there's a lot of people putting out their footage. The embargo was up at three AM, uh, this, what a weird time to do that. Yeah. 12 midnight, essentially. Um, I thought it was going to be three PM initially cause I'm, and so I thought it would be, yeah, I thought it would be like, Oh, as we go live, I'd be like, Hey, what's up? I can talk about

what happened. But, uh, it was actually this morning and that's why you got a big rush of Street Fighter six content over the last, uh, couple hours. Um, so, you know, I'm, I'm, I have a bunch of stuff. I put out three videos already. Uh, I'm going to put out another couple. Um, but we're going to, you know, sprinkle to some degree, but I'm not going to be like stinging onto any of that for like a long period of time. Like I want to get everyone to see all this shit because there's some cool stuff and a lot of questions in the air. So, um, but yeah, uh, uh, so all this to say that like we got out around like one, you know, um, and, uh, um, the, uh, yeah, the, the, the weather was nice as it

always is because if you live in San Francisco or California in general, uh, you move there to get away from the concept of weather, uh, being an issue. I have to say I'm kind of dealing with that myself out on the West on this, even my Pacific Northwest. Yeah. Cause like me and Paige love gloomy, love rain. Great ish almost. You know, you know, and, but it doesn't rain super hard. It's just like drizzle. It drizzles for like 10 days in a row. Yeah. So like, I've had like three days of bad weather since moving out here. And then I call my mom on the phone. She's like, Oh, the blizzard and the ice is destroying the city. Are you okay? I'm like, mom, it's, it's sunny. I'm wearing a t-shirt. Yeah. And from

talking to everyone living there about it, you know, like SoCal and NorCal have their own little, you know, specific idiosyncrasy and idiosyncrasies. Microclimates. But yes, because California is a big ass state as, uh, uh, what should we call it? Fred, uh, not, not Fred Durst. Robert Durst would say, but anyway, there's too much California almost, right? Uh, the thing is, is that like, obviously, um, the, the, the wild weather is not like everyone who's there is like, no, we have stuff like we had some mudslides and obviously there's like the fucking fires, you know, and all that wild shit. Um, but for the most part, you guys range from t-shirt to a light windbreaker, you know, um, and, uh, everywhere else were used to, Oh, this is trying to kill you. So

put stuff on so that it won't kill you or take stuff off. California and like San Fran exist in a location that don't have to deal with the spring of deception. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Right. The lies that Mother Nature tells you when you look out the window and you're like, Oh, it's actually not. No, it's not. Don't fall for it. No, this is just the lull right before mud season. But because like, because like it's super hilly and like you see all those like, you know, um, you've seen lots of shots of sitcoms on like, like hillside areas and sonic skating down the fucking, all that. So like when things like a mudslide does happen or whatever, that shit has pretty bad ramifications because there, it does a lot of verticality to it. Um, but anyway, all this to say it was a nice

day. Um, so I was like, want to go check out the fucking Golden Gate Bridge. And I was like, yeah, all right, why not? So jumped in an Uber, uh, wrote over to it, had a nice chat with, you know, uh, um, very pleasant lady. And, uh, she was just talking about, you know, uh, her and life there. And she's got like, I think her daughter works for YouTube and I was like, oh shit, okay. Yeah. And, um, uh, uh, Zeba, I believe, and she, uh, kind of just was, you know, taking us around. And we, when we got there, we started to see a bunch of smoke and we're like, uh, oh, did we pull in to a fire season of California? And it was actually just a really foggy day. Apparently some days the water and shit just like fogs the shit out of

the, the Golden Gate. So you just, it just becomes a silent hill as you, as you do. And you can't see anything going across the bridge. I was like, ah, fuck, we want it to like walk along it. And that's kind of a bummer. Say, we say we did it, you know, but, um, she was like, oh, you know what? Here, I'll take you to another lookout point. And she just kind of was like, yeah, I know some spots and she took us to a lookout and she's like, oh yeah, it's a pretty unique day. And then like we ended the trip and she's like, I'll get out and I'll chill over here too. And she just kind of took some pictures and was, we're just like, you know, like hanging out. And I was like, oh, wow, okay, that's cool. Um, so, you know, we, we did that and, um,

I, I did, I did, uh, get to taste one of the famous, like, you hear, I hear a lot about, there's, okay, there's a New York street meat and then there's talking about the mission burrito. No, there's New York street meat and then there's, uh, uh, California street dogs. Right. I hear a lot of good things about the California street dogs, like, you know, basically like, uh, Mexican grill kind of style with, uh, onions and a jalapeno and all that shit. And, uh, took a taste and I was like, yeah, I see what the hubbub is about. That's a good dog. That's a solid dog. Um, the, uh, it, I still have to give the crown to meat on a stick in Brooklyn. I mean, yeah, meat on a stick in Brooklyn was the most unbelievable flavorful, beautiful tasting

thing. I'm like, I can't believe how good it was. It also skips every step of eating food other than eating food. It was insane. It'd like, I'm like, is that news? Like, yep. Want one? I'm like, I do. And it smelled great. And I bit in and it was like, this is, this is just the best. Um, and it's like not, not even like food truck, just like, you know, right off the, the, the fucking grill sticking out of the, the, the, the, the vendor booth. Anyways, um, someone walked by someone of a guy walking around with no cart and he's just got, he's just holding sticks that have meat on them in his hand. Yeah. It was, it really was one of those like just, you know, with the crab juice and everything, but it was unbelievably delicious.

You know. Um, and then, yeah, someone walks up as, as was happening the entire time and was like, Hey, how's it going? What's up? Yada, yada. We, you know, shoot the shit and they're like, okay, cool. Um, and then they were just, they, they, they were turning to the dude was turning to go to walk away or whatever. And I think like Reggie said something else and he's like, Oh, hey, yeah. Next time you're in town, you know, you may become like, check us out. And then like, yeah, he's like, pull out a flyer. And it was like a flyer for like, um, like a, uh, uh, basically nearby there's, uh, a black owned library and like, like, kind of like a BLM area. And like, it was, it was a whole kind of thing that was set up.

It was like, Oh yeah, it's a bookstore. You can come check out and stuff. And I was like, okay, cool. So I was checking the address on it and it's like, Oh, actually this is in Oakland. I was like, ah, yeah. Okay. I've, I've, you know, heard things about Oakland. I heard a few things. I was wearing bright, I was wearing my bright, uh, uh, colorful, uh, fit. I wasn't quite wearing my Raiders gear. So I was like, hmm, maybe not the color was it. Um, it was blue and red at the same time. Actually. Yeah, it was both. Um, and, uh, looking and upon further observation of the address to this bookstore, it was on MLK Boulevard. Okay. I'm like, okay. All right. Listen, how many, how many jokes are we going to write

in one shot here? Because there's two things you hear. You hear Oakland. Yeah. That's an aggro zone. MLK Boulevard. That's where the bosses, right? That's what I hear. I hear it's going down. So I don't know, but, um, that's across the bridge on the other side. And there's like a whole thing where you have the golden gate. You've got, uh, the Bay Bridge, which is leads to Oakland. And then you can, and then I didn't know this. I don't know. Uh, I never really thought about it, but like in between the bridges, you can stand there and see Alcatraz, the island, like just right there. Cool shit. Where all that cool shit happens. Exactly. And I was like, Oh, it's right here. I didn't know that. I didn't know you could, you could just like, I still think Alcatraz is the

coolest fucking prison, man. Crazy. See, but only where are we going to put them? Ah, but I'm on a fucking island, whatever. But only if it's the, if it's the Alcatraz from face off where they've got the metal boots, you know, that you can lock down and now you can't move anymore. Wait, fucking Nick Cage did two fucking movies in Alcatraz? Uh, the rock. And I forgot that it was in fucking face off also. And then they go to this, this is the face off prison with the special boots, you know? Wasn't that not, I thought it was Alcatraz in that one. Maybe I'm mixing my shit up. Okay. I gotta be honest. It's been a long time since, um, since I've seen face off, like a really long time. That part of the movie always made me think they were somehow in space,

because the magnet boots threw me so hard, like it was so out of place compared to everything else in the movie. Well, because the, the, the buy-in asks you to suspend all disbelief on the face transplant tech. Um, we've seen real face transplants, IRL, they don't go as smoothly. I'm so, so I'm thinking more about face off and it's like John Travolta and Nick Cage don't even have fucking heights or builds like they're completely. Their bodies are just, it's nope, shut up. Wife and kid can't tell. Now, it asks you to buy into that concept and I'm like, you know what? Sure, John Woo, you told me walking into this, that this is what it was going to be, therefore fine. Um, and even the, the ridiculous Nick Cage faces and the, and the, you know, and all the face

gestures and hand gestures and yadda yadda, but there's no reason the prison had to be that high tech upscale wild fucking video game shit. I, I, I agree. There was nothing in the script that called for that. It could have just been a prison, but they wanted that second level buy-in. So anyways, uh, again, John Woo, do your thing. Um, Doves in the Walls, explosives everywhere. Um, Alcatraz is right there. The bridge, um, of course I was telling Reggie about the documentary, the bridge, uh, which comes to mind immediately. Uh, and then as soon as we got in the, the car, the driver was like, Oh yeah, they made a documentary about that. And it's like, Oh yeah, I know people are still talking about the bridge because that shit's crazy. Um, if you haven't

seen it, it's a really interesting watch. It's really old at this point, but essentially, um, you know, the Golden Gate Bridge is like a, like hotspot for a lot of people who are, uh, feeling suicidal and go to stand on the edge or jump. And they, and it was, like people who, who love suicide, like you have a big cool scenic dramatic location to do your suicide at. Yeah, it's, it, well, it's, it's interesting how like there are locations that can become mimetic, you know, to, uh, a given culture and like you can be like, Oh, this is, this idea is now out there in the world. And you know, I'm going to pick this and other people have picked this and it kind of just becomes known for this thing. Um, I guess, I guess the more it's done the easier

you free associate the idea or the location, right? Like, um, so in any case though, um, so as one of these things where they just, uh, uh, yeah, they told the stories of a number of people who over the course of one year went up there and jumped, you know, and like, uh, the, the, the standout point being the, uh, one guy who, who actually made it and survived. And like, there's always a, uh, um, there's always a, uh, uh, uh, uh, just that, that quote that like everyone who sees it is like haunted by because it's like, um, the guy who made it was like, I realized the moment that I stepped off that every single problem I had felt solvable except for the part where I was in midair and I had just stepped off. Yeah. So, um,

and it's like, holy fuck, man, every single time I have ever looked into people that have like hung themselves the bad way or, um, jumped off of buildings or something. Um, anybody who survives it inevitably tells how they attempted to reverse course immediately because the, the physical reality of imminent death like snapped all their bullshit out of the way and went, oh, oh no, wait, that, no, no, we'd like to undo this right now. Yeah. It's not, it, that's not, of course, a universal sentiment, but it definitely applies to a lot of people and it was quite, it's an interesting thing watching that, you know, and so that's, that's the first, uh, um, yeah, I remember seeing that and then, uh, the, my only other

associations with this ad with the Golden Gate Bridge was just like the opening to full house. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, that's, that's about that. So, um, in any case, uh, that was a wild swerve, but yeah, really nice. There is it. I mean, it's the two topics that come to mind when we talk about the bridge. I just wanted to say it just, but, um, uh, no, and then they have the Panhandle Park right in front of it and, you know, a whole bunch of, I didn't need, I didn't know that, that like San Fran had its own Central Park equivalent. That's pretty cool. Um, I don't imagine it's nearly as big. Apparently it is as big, uh, according to Central Parks, really big Central Park is insanely big.

It's a giant real ass forest and apparently the San Francisco, uh, forest park is comparable absolutely to Central Park. Well fuck, no wonder the housing situations, they're all fucked up. Just bulldoze that and put up a bunch of apartments. I think the reason why we don't hear about it as much and why it's like surprising to hear is because everything West Coast is all driving anyway. So like the idea of Central Park in New York where everything is close, premium, real estate, Yadda Yadda is much more drastic than it is where you have like miles and miles of hills and water anyway. But yeah, fucking crazy. Um, also what you're describing, it's called Toronto. Yeah. So just hold on to that. Um, anyway, uh, that, you know, it was like, okay, well,

now what? And I was like, I don't know, it's, it's, uh, I remember when I went to Chinatown last time, or not Chinatown, I went to, um, uh, Little Japan last time I was, uh, I was in the state and I was like, let's go check that out again. It was a cool place. And I went there and I was like, Oh wait, this is a different Little Japan from the other one because like there's two. Um, and I'm trying to remember, maybe I think I went to the one in SoCal. I don't remember which one, but there's clearly more than one. Um, okay. And yeah, Japan town is was popping off. It was cool. Um, and then it's like, Oh yeah, there's a very sizable Japanese population, uh, in California as well. Um, so you hit up the Kino Kuniya, do some book shopping, you buy some, some merch and some,

some, some shit and some shit. And, um, uh, yeah, like that's just, it's, it's an old failsafe. It's like, try to find the local game store and find them or find a, a fun mom and pop shop or find your shelf, uh, uh, something like a Kino Kuniya to just go shop, uh, shop it in. And, um, that was, you know, that was a, uh, uh, yeah, decent, a decent amount of time spent in security guard, just walked up, Hey, what's going on guys? What's going, Hey, where are you from? Oh, yeah, I've been to Canada once and just, okay. Same with the same driver we could, we went down with, came back up, like just ever just talking the whole time, just everyone being friendly, good stuff. So yeah, friendly ass San Francisco, um, outstanding levels of, of, of, uh, you know,

hospitality and, and overall, like I've never had that, like, I've never had a trip to America that was like that aggressively pleasant with people. Well, that's nice. Yeah. Good job, California. Good job. Good job. That's, uh, it's a good experience overall. Um, I know it goes, I know it could go a lot of different ways than I know it can go a lot of different, uh, uh, ways depending on where you are and how it's going and whatever's going on. But we just rolled lucky and it was a good time. Uh, anyways, uh, California aside, um, there was that good old street fighter six and wait, can we even say fucking good old? I mean, the game's not even no, but, but, uh, uh, it was, it was, uh, it was out. We got to, to check out, like I said,

each of those characters recorded some stuff. So you're going to see some footage dropping on the channel of different matchups and stuff, kind of had to improvise with our time and like sit down and just pick characters and just start mashing buttons right away, you know. Um, and then it's like, okay, we can spend some time, like learning a couple of things and, you know, showing off some stuff or we can get the move list, for example, you know, so it's like, oh fuck, okay. Yeah, I think I just saw Eli Joe put up a video of like, here's every critical art, here's every, yeah, here's every single fucking move on the roster. Yeah. So what, like I, I just uploaded the, um, excuse me, the full, the full move list for every character that wasn't in the beta. Uh,

so I'm going to put that out, uh, uh, sometime during the podcast or like after, um, and the little descriptions on each move are fantastic. They're super helpful to help you, you know, just read what it's for, uh, the demonstrations as well. I talked about last time, um, they walk you through what to do with the character, what each move is, why, and then, um, the best part is after you've learned what all the moves do, then it says, okay, here's how you play neutral. You know, here's how you walk around. Here's what you're trying to do. Here's what footsies are. Yeah. Here's what footsies are. Um, here's where you want to stand. And, uh, here's what you're trying to overall accomplish. And, um, we, uh, captured that for JP, who, uh, is the old man with the cane and, and the stand,

which looks like it's bison trapped in a genie bottle. I don't know, but, um, really hope that's exactly what it is. It appears to be the spirit of angry, salty bison, um, mad that he couldn't get inside of Kami's body as a replacement or Abel's or Ed's or the monkey or Falk. Yeah. Or, or anyone. Like he really just, he, it's like, congratulations bison. You fucking died and you created a bunch of characters who all are like, well, I'm a big, strong fighter now. I guess so many characters in street fighter that are supposed to be bison backups and yet he just died. Incredible. Incredible. Um, yeah. And so, uh, yeah, the, um, uh, JP, uh, uh, matches, uh, some of those went up in the demonstration as well. Uh, I guess, uh, I'll start by saying that that character

looks to be a problem. Looks to be terrifying. So that's the name of the video, but what do you mean a problem? Cause there's, there's, you know, there's shit that you run into pre-release, um, where you're like, I think this character might actually just be like incredible. And then there's stuff like, I want to say what the, who the fuck was it? Was it like death stroke and injustice too? That it was just like, oh cool. Here's the new player annihilator. Yeah. So when I say a problem, it means this JP is going to be very popular. You're going to probably fight a lot of JP's online. JP is, uh, going to be, uh, either like JP is, if you play JP, you're going to be loving it. You're playing a different video game from the rest of the cast.

And if you're fighting JP, you're going to be hating your life because he has access to a bunch of insane tools that no one else gets. Um, the, uh, you know, the, the, the, the quick and the short of it is imagine, uh, noob Saibot, uh, got it. With the way he can shoot out the shadows at you from different, uh, uh, like highs and lows and yadda yadda, but then also, uh, glaciers or new 13 or Lambda 12 from Blazblue, where I can stand full screen and hit you with the shards. And then also, um, the little, uh, yes. And then also the fireballs that I'm shooting out across the screen are actually, uh, boxers, dashing straights, dashing lows and dashing overheads. So you get, but he, he, he, when he shoots out bison, he's doing boxer type shit.

And also one of them is a command grab. So, um, make sure you recognize what is flying at you, because one of them is just unblockable and is going to grab you and blow you up. And also one of them is a faint. So he can go high, low overhead, fake command grab full screen while putting up little shards that can spike you on an auto timer. They can spike you on a manual timer or he can teleport to that point. He can also create two of them to create a point where he can teleport, teleport or teleport shard or shard teleport, whatever he wants to do. It's like a boss character. Yeah. It's like S kill from dive kick feels a bit like a boss character. That's, that is, that is, I would accurately say that's likely what's happening

here. Um, and that ain't even the half of it. He's got a reversal, which is a fully invincible getting off the ground counter where he just flashes. And if you touch him, uh, it absorbs whatever you do, you freeze and then a little tracking mine flies towards you and then blows up when it hits you. It doesn't hit you immediately, but it takes a second, which forces you to stop whatever you just did and block what's happening. Right. He can do two of those if he does the OD slash ex version. And if the thing you did was slow enough, like for example, I don't know, blank is level three. He can just take it, pause, throw the two out. Level threes are slow enough that the recovery means both of the bombs hit and then he can do a full combo and do whatever he

wants to you, including his level three, which you guessed it, teleports right in front of you, wherever you are on the screen and just hits you. Are you serious? Yes. Like Goku, instant transmission, Phoenix, right? Uh, you're guilty. Like a fucking like functional maximum spider. Like just, oh, they're open. I'll do it. Now it has a startup. So it's not like the moment, uh, uh, it happens. You're always guaranteed to get hit, but he will teleport anywhere, anytime, no matter what's going on and go right into a level three on you. So good luck dealing with that kit. Oh my God, it's insane. It's kind of, it's just kind of insane. And you put it all together and it's going to become, you know, oh yeah, by the way, he's got a level one, which is just a

really fast, strong fireball that'll interrupt whatever unsafe, untrue pressure you're putting on him. Does like the cross slash. And he's got a level two where he just puts a bunch of screen pollution around you. And then after a couple seconds, they just start flying in all directions. And two of the things that hit you from above are overheads that you cannot block while crouching. So, so his level two turns him into Aracune from Blaze Blue for five seconds. Uh, but you're still playing Street Fighter. Yep. Yep. Still playing Street Fighter and he can still teleport. He can still mix you up. He can still go into that teleport level three. He can still counter whatever you do. He can still drop behind you. He can overhead you. Street Fighter, isn't it? I mean, unbelievable.

It is an, it is a insanely uncharacteristic Street Fighter character. He's an anime character dropped into the world of SF. I'm watching it and you're describing it and it almost feels like Megaki from fucking KOF 11, the, the fucking screen pollution purple freak. Put in Street Fighter. SNK Boss Syndrome is a term used to describe how unbeatable SNK bosses tend to be in the old arcade games. When you put the CPU up to eight and you make them cheat with the handicap, of course they get close to that. Add this to the mix with this kind of character that stands back and just destroys you from full screen the whole time. And that is 1 million percent as bad as Orochi, Megaki, um, all of the SNK bosses that you had to fight over the years that like

it fits right in there with your bullshit Omega Ruggles and Yadda Yadda, you know, so jealous of Gargoss. Um, so yeah, no, just, uh, just a fair warning about that. This character, like that is the most standout thing about the character. Um, and you know, there's obviously like, there's a full cast, there's a whole bunch to get to it and, um, so what we're going to actually do is I'm going to, we have the footage that's going to be coming out and then, um, uh, to this week, uh, we're going to do a stream where we just talk overall, discuss in depth, uh, each character and what we saw and answer any questions if anyone has them and stuff. So I'll put that up on the schedule, but we're just going to do a general Q and A about, you know, any of the cast and any of

the stuff. Cause there's, yeah, there's, there's the general level of like, oh, this, uh, world tour shit is wild or whatever. And then there's the like, oh, what's the frame data on this move or that? So, you know, whatever, whatever you're fancy, um, um, we're going to be doing one of those tomorrow. Um, overall, my God. So I'm looking at your footage and I just saw you Blanca just suck the, like do the level three and just get fucking pumped out by the orbs. Yep. Yep. Yep. That feels fucked. It's crazy, man. Um, Blanca, you know, but my boy is there. Uh, it's, it's really interesting watching what Blanca is now compared to what he used to be. Like there's such a, they're turning him into something else and it's a slow concerted effort because it feels

like Blanca in Street Fighter two was this wild, crazy, annoying thing that everybody, you know, to this day still hates. He was one of the body projectile freaks. He sure was. And, uh, he came back in CVS two as the maximum most insane version of that, you know, he body project, he just rolling ball in all directions and he has a super rolling ball. Fuck you. Don't, don't, don't get caught sleeping. Um, and then with four, they kind of, they gave him most of that and then a couple of little extra things here and there, little tricky gimmicky things dropping, hopping and, you know, and messing around. But then, um, they kind of started to change that up a bit and then five, they made him, uh, they made things a little bit more slow, a little bit more of a

commitment. He had more clear weaknesses. Um, and they made him able to do like the full screen jumping command grab because he lost some other tools, you know. So now he's kind of continuing that road where like, okay, he cannot. So number one, EX, uh, Blanca ball can't go through fireballs anymore. Right. Oh, that's huge. It always did. And that was always one of my favorite characteristics about it because in a world where you, um, are fighting against people who haven't played Street Fighter in 10 years and you're going to fight an army of reuse and kens, I'm just like, fuck this stupid fireball. Just turn off their best. Give me something, give me something else, please. Right. What else you got besides that? It was, it was just,

it was just a no, you don't. Right. And, uh, yeah, they took that away. Now you still have the slide and you can still use it for anti-fireball purposes. And that makes me happy because yeah, anyone who's like, you know, just trying to autopilot with their zoning game, you know, I'm just like, no, no, you don't show me something else, please. And if you happen to have nothing else, then that's where you crack. Right. Um, he can't do the command hop into the grab anymore, like, like, um, through fireballs or around fireballs. It's meant to just catch you off guard. But a lot of his little things that are, and like some buttons are slower, but then he throws out the toy, you know, and like, it feels like a bunch of like the stuff that he lost is,

is supposed to be made up for with things like this little toy that comes towards you. And, um, you can do little being just the most annoying fucking thing in the fucking world. Maybe, maybe, but you say that having not fought JP yet. Right. Yeah. It's funny because both the characters that you've mentioned now are both characters that do something that street fighter doesn't usually do, which is what you called it was screen pollution, screen pollution. Just, I'm just gonna put bullshit. Yeah. Fucking bullshit all over. I mean, like, so Minot got close to that with like the ball of the orbs, you know, had to be controlled positions. And then bullshit go. Yeah. Well, V trigger activation was random bullshit go, but it was like to a rhythm

that they would then try to confirm their hits off of, right? But yeah, no, they're definitely is much more towards that archetype of screen pollution character in anime games, you know, that that's been a thing. And so yeah, there's this is joint street fighters joining the likes of that. Everyone's gonna have to deal with that. Everyone has like Blanca's little toy looks like Faust's little guy. It's a little guy. Yeah. And he's he's not too fast and he can you can spend the bar to make him go faster. But you know, if you hit Blanca, the toy falls over and it's you know, it's it's not going to win the game. It's just going to be a little annoying thing. And I have to go check the footage on it. But apparently, if you taunt any juggles,

he gets one back. So it seems like there is a way to restock your fucking sick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So let a taunt happen if you're fighting him. But anyway, all this though is like, oh, oh, he was he felt far from the most annoying thing you're going to deal with in this game, right? If you remember, he gets to live in that in that on that throne, of course, you know, and like if you you saw how insane Gile was, right, like a lot of that is so oppressive ridiculous, you know. And so you're there's other kinds of oppression that are coming out that we're seeing like Kami and her hooligan combination, the jumping flip that jumps at you. She can do like so many things out of it, one of which is just an instant drop down to the ground. And like you could barely

react to it. It's so fucking fast. She can also like what she's right in front of you kind of do. I thought footage of she was able to do like a spinning backfist od and then that's put your right teleports behind you. She can teleport behind you essentially. You know, like it just and you're going to notice that a lot of the roster is going to fucking freak you the fuck out, you know, think characters are bullies in this game. And they're allowed to be because when you when we're talking about a long time ago, what right after we first got a hold of the the beta was everybody seems to have like almost everything they have ever had. And sometimes they get a little new thing. And it's fascinating to hear you talk about like JP,

a character who's brand new. It doesn't really fit on top of a like, because even even like Jamie, Jamie is like young Yang Feilong, right? Like he there's pieces that you can put on him. Yeah, JP seems to be something that's like kind of new. And it's like, well, he doesn't have a history to draw from. So they just gave him a big pile of bullshit. Yeah, that seems to be the rule with all the new characters is like, give him a bunch of bullshit. And and something that fighting games do as well as there's there'll be archetypes where they introduce a new system to the game, and then they'll have a character that abuses that system or like, you know, can break it. Marissa plays that role in this game because our Marisa, as she's pronounced, she lady. Yeah,

she breaks the drive impact with multiple moves. She can do. Oh, she gets to ignore the system. She gets to smash you to the wall for doing drive impacts, predictably, 100%. What moves go through that like, like her rush punches, like her, her, she can do. So she can do the charged gladius. That's the just the, yeah, the full, the straight punch. She can do the ex jumping punch, the kind of like Troy Brad Pitt thing, you know, and the ex stepkick, the Sparta kick, just break the armor completely. So yeah, throw those out in neutral to try and catch something. I don't want to, I don't want to play this part of the game with you. And the Superman punch that she does is safe. So if it gets blocked, it's still your turn.

It's your pressure, you know. So yeah, she breaks that drive system, you know, furthermore, if you block her fully charged double punches, like she's got some every button, every one of her punches, like light, light, medium, medium, heavy, heavy is a two hit combo. And you can charge down like the heavy buttons. When you do, you lose, if you're blocking, you lose a half a pip of drive for blocking it. Okay. Right. So she's here to scare the shit out of you. This is the character I want to play, the new character that I want to play as the most. He's so big, so big. And she's a bully. And this, and she's going to bully her way through and catch you sleeping because then she goes into the Scutum stance, which is the guard up.

And then you can command grab. Boom, you can get the kick, you can get the double hit. It's so fun, you know. And yeah, overall, just a bully. I was not expecting to, to, you know, dig Lily Hawk as much as I did. Lily Hawk was a lot of fun. Really? Yeah. She was a lot of fun. The main thing that I liked about her is that she kind of backs off and does her wind charge to make her like teahawk moves better. So she's got like Condor Dive, Condor Spire, which goes straight. And then like, yeah, I saw High Fight Break it down, where when she had the wind charge, her, her, her straight dash Condor move, I forget which one that's called. Spire. Spire was safe instead of not, which for a character with a nice command

grab feels great. So I did some of those. Reggie was playing Gief. He blocked and he would SPD them immediately. And then when I put the wind on it, I did it and I did my SPD at the end and mine came out first. Yeah. Cause you're, you'd probably recover like one frame. Exactly. Right. So that's all the difference in the world. All the difference in the world. So that was a lot of fun. And then something that, you know, there's characters who have moves where they have to step back and up and like buff themselves, you know, like Jamie takes the drinks, for example. For her, what was really nice is if you do the light version of the, the wind install, it's like she spins it and then she gets a stock. If you do the medium or heavy version,

she doesn't attack at the end. And if she does the heavy version and you hold the button, she keeps spinning, keeps maxes up her stock. And then when you release it, she swings. So so if you see her doing her little like step back to buff and you try to run in on her, she might do the attack and knock you back. She's gonna go for you. Yeah. You know, and so that's a nice little thing about it. That is not just you're leaving yourself open, you know, then of course, yeah, Gief is around. Gief has no green hand. He doesn't need it. He's got everything else. The gameplay footage they showed of Gief doing like a normal and then doing the rush drive. I'm like, Oh, he doesn't need the fight. He doesn't need it. He can run now.

He's fine. He's never, ever, ever been able to really run. Now he can run. He can teleport across the stage with the drive rush system. He can use his size to. So right before one of the last things we did was Reggie in training mode grabbed Dalsim and did a full screen just Dalsim button and then with Gief, perfect parry into drop kick and from full screen, Dalsim ate it. So the limb coming back just body, right? So like that's, you know, you can, you can't, you can't grab his limbs like an SPD like you could back in the day, but you can absolutely perfect parry and blow them up. That was always the stupidest shit in the world. Even I thought that was dumb. And yeah, you know, the ability to

just, you know, running bear grab with the armor. He's got the SPD. He's got the air borscht dynamite, which is the air spinning power driver he's got, which he can do as low to the ground as possible. How's the kick counter because that move used to be a piece of fucking shit. Still pre seems pretty stupid, but we didn't really mess around with it. Like it just, the applications are so situational that it's like, I don't know why this came back, but whatever. And yeah, like he's got the fucking spin. He's got the was got the lariat. He's got EX lariat, right? How the fuck do you do the two punches for normal? Three punches for EX or OD lariat. That's going to be. Oh, that's going to be real

fucking hard to unlearn. Yep. Yep. So he's good, but he's got that now instead of like kick lariates instead, you know, um, then, uh, he's got the old street fighter alpha air grab for his level one super. He's got his three fighter five V trigger air grab. You know, he's got so much. He's got so much. The fucking spin locks you down. And if it hits, he can go into the, you know, like all of that shit's there. Um, and just everything he hits you with your damage just evaporates as expected. So yeah, he's going to be fine without his green hand, you know, new buttons, new combo, cancelling buttons, unique attacks, you know, he's geef is thriving, you know, yay. Yeah. So, um, you know, yeah, we're gonna, like I said,

we're going to do a more in depth talk about all this stuff and go into whatever, uh, people want to know, but, um, check out, check out the channel. We're going to have some of these little match videos to show you guys. And, uh, yeah, man, I'm, I'm, I'm propped. I'm like right. The street fighter six good. It's fantastic. This is the best launch version of a game street fighters ever had. I've said it before this confirms it. Um, looking at, looking at Blanka, looking at Marissa, you know, uh, gonna see how things shake up with them. Um, Blanka has got some odd things too, where, um, no more pianoing inputs to get, uh, light lightning. Yeah, they're gone. All mash inputs are all mash is gone. So lightning lights for Chun Lee,

Honda, multiple palms. Yeah. Maybe I'll fucking play Honda this time around because I have to 100 hand slap my shit off. It is. It is interesting. So that's gone. And, um, you know, there's some, some trades as well, where it's like, it's not perfect pressure. Like there's gaps in between them and stuff, but yeah, absolutely. I have no problems with that whatsoever. You know, the, uh, weird thing is though with, uh, like Blanka's hop still takes three kicks back or forward. And because I switched to controller, it's a bit odd because pressing three requires. It's a little strange. Yeah. So I'm going to have to figure something out with that. Um, but anyways, uh, you know, we'll see what happens when it comes out, but I'm, I like Big Lady. I

like, I like, uh, uh, Blanka and, you know, Luke is still around. So, um, we'll, we'll, we'll figure it out. Whatever feels good. DJ's got some scary, stupid, crazy shit. Um, he's just going to win every fireball war. Um, yeah. Cause he's got, uh, he throws two, right? Cause okay. So heavy, he throws out two for free. Medium punch. He throws out one light punch. He fakes it. Right. Yeah. No, that's a, that's a fucking, that's a fatal fury character. Fake fireballs are terrifying. Um, they gave Ryu a fake fireball in HD remix and everyone was like, this is the most busted thing ever. You can't do this. Like you react to him going, oh, you know, um, then, uh, they also gave him like, so he's as the, the just cool,

which is like he steps back and does his follow-ups. One of the follow-ups is a straight dash. That's basically like Dudley's ducking where he goes through fireballs. Oh yeah. Okay. And at the end of that dash, if you'd like to, you can press another button so that he does backstep, fireball, invincible dash, backstep again. So if you time it, you could, in theory, go right through something that was, um, late and then they go, ah, I'm going to shore you can you. And then you go, no, you're not. And then what? Oh, that's so annoying. It's so fucking DJ is going to be very scary as well. You know, uh, and his level two is like a big old like input all the buttons manually to do the, the, the rhythm finish little mini game as well.

Everyone's got some fun stuff, man. Everyone's got fun stuff. Menon, you know, when you do her, her command grab, it makes her stronger. And when you get to level five, which is five grabs and they stay for the entire game. Anytime she lands a command grab on you, you lose 37% of your health. That's a lot. I mean, realistically, that's like in the final round only, but that's still, that's still scary. Not in some of the footage I recorded. Does she have ways of getting it that is not necessarily the command grab? I had, no, no, no, she does, she does have to land the grab, but I had a match where by the end of round one, Reggie got to level five. Make no mistake, you're going to get grabbed and, uh, that doesn't go away.

It's like getting hit with a super, but it's free. You don't get, don't let her land it. You know, that's great. So anyways, um, shoot fighter six, you know, uh, fuck. Yeah. The style is awesome. The music as you've been hearing is just fantastic of the character select. Oh, it's so good, man. Um, everyone just hanging out on the character select screen and Marissa and Gief, like either squatting or crouching down because otherwise they, they damn near break through the top of the fucking screen because they're too big. Well, you pick him, you pick Marissa and then she stands up, you know, and Gief is doing, Gief is doing his squats. Um, and the, the music transition as well, like it's, uh, it's one track

that is like, it's almost like a remix of the song they released, um, uh, not on the sidelines, I think it's called. And like you, it starts the intro when you're picking your stage, as soon as you pick your stage, it starts the verses, the verses loop until you pick both characters. And then as you hear it goes into the year, year, like the whole thing is really smooth, man. Um, and yeah, world tour is, is going to be what you saw. It's just, it's going to be some clown shoe shit. It's going to be, it's going to be fucking, yeah, clown. It's clown shit. And, uh, the way they show it off is like, Oh, I just, I'm sorry, I'm watching your footage right now as we're talking about this. And I just got to see Marissa ignore the drive system.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In which, uh, Reggie is playing Mano and he started a drive and you just instantly reacted with an ex and just said, no, I don't want to do this. And, you know, scary as fuck. And yeah, guess what? When you land her level three goddess of the hunt and you just do the fucking shut the fuck up business punch, like the most satisfying shit ever. It feels, it feels fantastic. But at the end of the day, she picks you up. She cradles you, you know? So yeah, man. Um, tune in for, tune in for more and, uh, come hang out tomorrow for more of that. Um, that, that's obviously what my week was, you know, uh, did you see, uh, Rufal Monger put up, I think it was Rufal Monger put up a video, uh, a few days ago. He did it before the,

before the, the thing about the, the, the, the peri damage, uh, which aspect? Cause Rufal was there. It was about the, the, the scaling on peri damage. Oh yes. So, uh, parries all scale aggressively after you land a perfect parry, I think 50% 50% percent. Yeah. Yeah. And he was talking about how, oh my God, um, people are complaining that that seems like really terrible reward for something that's really hard. Um, and he then went into something that I had not understood or, or known, which was, uh, everything is on minus in this game. Like on average, like jabs are minus, um, me mediums are minus. And he was showing off, um, with his footage of the beta with like reused jab is technically like minus one or his medium is like minus two and shows

off a bunch of situations in which people who are trying to do like old school jab pressure, like, you know, get right up on your ass and jab, jab to give you a block screen, you just bang out peri in the middle of that and often get a perfect peri for free. Yes, you can't because the timing just happens to sync up nice. And in that situation, yeah, no, it, perfect parry can't give you a gigantic super reward because you can use it to shut down people's jab pressure. Exactly. There's situations where you 100% percent are able to, if you, the person, if you know the person's predictably going to go for a jab exactly after this exchange where you're both at like zero or they're slightly negative or you're slightly plus.

Um, excuse me, there's like set opportunities to land a perfect parry on the, on the jab they throw out, right? The other thing too is they happen and they happen in, often enough in such a way where it's like, it may, you see some of the, the situations where it's like, no, no, no, it makes sense that it scales down that much, especially when you land a level three at the end of it, which A has a minimum scaling of 50% as well. And B, um, takes off two point pips of your drive. When you get hit with a critical art, you lose two pips of drive. When you get hit with a non critical art level three, you lose like 1.5 or so. So you're already forced getting forced into burnout in a ton of situations anyway. Um, it actually makes sense in the flow of the fight

for things to scale down. And if you take a look at a lot of footage, you'll also see this perfect parries are not a free excuse to do whatever you want after you land it. Because if you parry a big, uh, heavy button, you get to do a big combo as a result of you recovering immediately and then they are still throwing their harm out. But if you parry a jab, you can't do a big long combo at the end of that. You have to do something fast. You have to do something fast in exchange, right? Um, a lot of the time I remember like, it's like, if you don't land the, um, if you don't recognize what you're perfect parrying, then you're going to, and you press too slow of a button, you get no reward. So it's also about how fast you can recognize what you just parried and

use the right thing for it. Um, and if you always go weak, then you're never going to get the optimal damage off of the big things. So all this is a lot of fucking words and yadda yadda, but the point is that like perfect parries are not going to be a free do what you want as soon as you land them situation. They're going to happen a little bit more often than we originally thought, but they're going to net a little bit of a smaller reward. Um, yeah, but they're, they, it works. I did not know that if you're in the parrying state and you get thrown, you take 50% more damage, you take critical, you take counter hit damage. Yep. Um, not know that. So there's, there's two types of things you'll notice every time a throw happens in the game, you'll see a regular

throw or you'll see a throw where the camera zooms in and like rotates a little bit and you'll, and, and you'll see a bigger boom, the cold screen shakes. And that is, um, getting someone getting thrown as a counter and when it's a counter, yeah, they take a whole extra half of that damage. Um, does that, does that work with command grabs or just normal grabs? You can do, you can do punish, uh, counter, um, command grabs, uh, you know, if you catch the, the right frames on the part, on the recovery of anything. Yeah. Um, but the, but the whole like, yeah, like extra doubling up or whatever of the damage is like that. They, normal grabs all get that. You'll watch a bunch of people. No, no, no, no, no, no, not command grabs are not getting that, uh, uh, uh, there are

punished counter command grabs. Uh, they're not, you're not getting the, the same buff that a normal throw is getting that, that'd be insane. That'd be insane. Um, uh, but they, they're, I know that they're in the punter, they're listed as punish counter state. Um, but the, you'll watch people be at like what looks like maybe 9% or 8% health, you know, and it's a decent chunk and then they'll eat one of those and then just die from a regular throw, you know. Yay. Uh, yeah. So anyways, um, more Street Fighter 6 coming up. Shocking. Yadda yadda. I'm shocked. Um, but yeah, that's, that's it. San Francisco and, and, and six.

If you'll excuse me, could, uh, we'd take a quick bathroom break. Sure. What's going on? Pretty much it, uh, for you this week, man. Yep. What's going on on your end? All right. Okay. Uh, yo, fucking cassette beasts. Oh yeah. Yes. Have you heard about cassette beasts? Absolutely. I did not hear about cassette beasts until the day came out and I was like, what's cassette beasts? And then I went, ooh. That was on the shortlist for sure. Mm-hmm. Cassette beasts is so fucking good. So to those of you who are unaware, first of all, I got a free code, so I'm biased. Second of all, thanks cassette beast people.

Uh, second of all, uh, it's not Pokemon. Wink. Wink. It's definitely not Pokemon. Um, it is a 2D retro throwback monster collecting game in which you play 2v2 battles and you transform into little monsters that have puns in their names, uh, like Springheal or Traffacrab, uh, and they all have a bunch of types that interact with each other when you use certain moves. So the fire against plastic is super effective. Um, it has fantastic sprite art. It is a very weird variation of the premise in that it's technically an isekai, but it also has weird, almost like, you know, all that weird shit from Undertale, like weird stuff like that.

Yeah. So, um, it added, just watching the trailer when it first dropped a while ago, it looks cooler than Temtem. It looks a lot cooler. Um, and that goes a long way to making me want to try this more than Temtem. Um, it's a lot cooler than Temtem. Yeah. Mainly because it's not just desperately trying to be Pokemon. It's like remixing things in a really interesting way. Uh, for one, uh, it is, so Temtem and this have come to the conclusion that when you play a Pokemon style game, you should probably be playing 2v2. Oh, because yeah, Pokemon added team battles. Yeah, that's true. Um, there's a lot of little details that like add up to a lot. Uh, the first of which is that,

um, it has a really interesting typing system in that, um, you know, it doesn't, you know, you have fire, you have water, the very, the typicals, right? Um, but every single interaction between those types is unique. Um, in what way? Uh, so the one that really comes to mind is that earth types attacking poison types. It's not just that the move is ineffective. The earth type move is providing the nutrients that the poison type needs to poison up. So attacking them makes the poison type stronger. Uh, okay. So like, like a type disadvantage doesn't just mean you're doing more damage. You're also actively buffing the person you're attacking.

If that's the interaction between the two. Interesting. If a, I believe it's an air type, uh, fucking blow, uh, no, if an air type attacks a fire type, they, they, they get a defense, they get a, uh, attack down because the fire types like got extinguished. Uh, but if a fire type attacks a air type, the air, uh, buffets the flame away and creates a shield in front of them for multiple turns in which they take no damage. It's a pure shield. Whoa. Okay. Um, and my personal favorite is fire versus plastic. If a fire type breathes fire onto a plastic type, that creates poisonous fumes and it turns the plastic type into a poison type for the rest of the fight.

Whoa. And then fire against poison is a huge increase in damage as well as a debuff. Whoa. Like, like, it is, it is a really comp and there are 15 types. Um, but with robust interactions, that's fine. Weird fucking interactions like earth also extinguishes fire, for example. On top of that, um, it has, so you're, you're, the monsters, they're out pokeballs, they're cassette tapes. Yeah. Yeah. That you're playing in your Walkman. Uh, and so shinies are called bootlegs. Um, uh, and shinies are, so in, in Pokemon, a shiny is look at that monster. It's yellow.

So, right? Instead of orange and it's purely for rarity. Um, first of all, the shinies and bootlegs are a hell of a lot more common than fucking shinies ever were because I got one within an hour. I got a bootleg spring heel. Um, and the difference between bootlegs and shinies, it's that bootleg is, so spring heel is a physical type attacker. I got a bootleg spring heel and it was a poison type. And in the list on the monster, there is a bootleg for every type. So it's not a shiny. It's a completely different version of the monster that like gets different moves. No, what it does is it gets all the same moves, but most moves in cassette beasts are not typed. Their, their type is actually like, so let's take tackle, right? That's the basic move.

Tackle doesn't have a type. Tackle has its, its icon instead of like a leaf or a fireball is a little square with a circle in it. That means like neutral. And all of those become the type of the monster it's on. So if you, if you have a poison type, then tackle is poison. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. That simplifies spring heel that is poison instead of, instead of physical. Now all of those change and they're stronger. So, um, the way that moves work is like TMS and HMS, you know, like, oh, I add this. Um, the, the idea is that every move on your cassette tape is a sticker that you have physically placed. Like you've placed the tackle sticker, you've placed the life leech sticker on it. Um, and you can just pull those off and put them on any compatible

monster you want. So, um, if I wanted to go like get a bunch of monsters and just take every sticker off of them and then delete them so that I have a bunch of moves to put on monsters I want, I totally can. This is a brilliant example of extremely well thought out game design, right? Because what you're describing here is simultaneously adding complexity to the existing interactions everyone's familiar with from Pokemon, but simplifying it from a programming point of view where you have a type that is separate from the list of moves you're going to do. These moves are all going to take on these properties, but you don't have to instead create a giant exhaustive list of single type use, single state use, uh, moves. Yeah, some moves

are single state, like moves that fire breath happens, they're fucking fire moves. Sure, sure. Um, are there any hybrid types or, um, is it like switching from one to the other as that example provided? So there is a, okay, let's take, um, I'll use Springheal. Springheal is 001 on the list and he's a physical type. He's, he's rat attack, right? So I can equip a move on Springheal that says turn anybody on this field into a water type. Okay. So I could, if, uh, if the, if it works out, I could pair him with a lightning type and then have Springheal turn the enemies into water types so that electrical can zap them and stack to disadvantages. You can also a lot of, a lot of defensive moves. They're not like, Oh, you're, you're, you're defense went up. It is,

I am putting a physical fucking wall up in front of me and those walls don't necessarily have to be your type. They can also be a different type, which, uh, makes it stronger or weaker depending. Wow. On top of all of that and the bootlegs, there is dual typing, but dual typing does not work the same as Pokemon where someone's like a fire or an ice type. What happens is, is because you are always 2v2, always, if I say have a spring, uh, what was it called? What's the, not zombie goat, uh, band sheep. Band sheep is the ghost type that you can start with, which is a sheep that's a ghost. Say I have, um, Springheal and band sheep on the field. Um, uh, no, let's, uh, fuck it. Springfield and Toxa Croak, whatever. A poison and a physical

type doesn't matter, right? And your bar fills up, you fuse them together and they get all of the moves from both. They double type and all of their moves become double type. Okay. Okay. Okay. So this, in addition, this is the really impressive part. There's 120 monsters in this game. They fuse into a different looking unique monster and this is where that has its own name. This is where the meta just opens the fuck up and becomes insane. Yeah. Okay. That's fucking impressive. Are there also evolutions? Oh yeah. Not, dude, not only are there evolutions when I took my band sheep, you know, your, your tape levels up from one to five. That's the level system for your, your cassette tape, right? So my band sheet hits level five. I sit down, evolutions happen when

you rest. So you get to choose when you do them. I sit down and I go, okay, I would like to evolve my band sheep, right? And it says, do you want your band sheep to ascend or return to the earth? And I go, return to the earth. And I get zombie goat, which is a, maybe that name is wrong, but I get a, a sheep corpse. Yeah. Tombstone. And then I look at the list and like, sure enough, there are two evolution chains from your starter. Easy. There are evolutions that depend on whether or not you evolve them at zombie. That was it. Thank you, everyone. There are evolutions that depend whether or not you evolve them a day or night or naturally. Yeah. Yeah. When I, when I evolved traffic crab, you can evolve traffic crab into a fucking a weevil light

or, or like a huge garbage monster. And it depends on, do you want attack or defense? So is each, so is each of the, you said 120. Each of those count as one. But each base type has two, two directions to go up or not, not all of them. Okay. Some of them just go one to the next to the next. Okay. Some just have one, some don't, some split, some have night and day variations. They're all different. And do they like, do they go, let's say up or down and then there's a third form? Or is it? Yeah. So Zomblete has a third evolution, which is the, which is the final form of Banshee that's returned to the earth. Okay. Yeah. Ascended Bansheep has a third evolution. Yeah. Yeah. Wargraymon.

Your starter and your warmon. Right. Now the fusion system isn't like, like it's, it's really useful and super cool. They're basically using the body of one and like the arms of another and like slapping them together. Like, and some of them kind of look like shit. Yeah. The sprite work is doing its best. Have you ever seen the Pokemon fusion machine? Yeah. It's wild that that came out like relatively recently. On top of this, you know, you're doing, you're, you're fighting wild monsters. You're fighting trainers. You're fighting the usual. It's not gyms. You're going to get approval from all the different rangers, but it's totally gyms. But I also found a bunch of other cool little things. Team Rocket in this

game is landlords. Okay. They're real estate developers. Sure. And they look like vampires and you're, you're going through those fights. And there's also like wild roaming bosses, which are like really, really tough because the system they've made has allowed for dynamic roaming bosses because you get to the boss and you go, okay, before you even get to fight the boss on the field, you're going to have to go through like eight monsters in a team battle, like a, like a full gym leader before you even start. Then you get to the boss. The boss is a fusion of two different monsters. So it's double typed. It's completely unique. You'll probably never see it again. It's super strong. It has double the stats. And once you defeat it,

it will split into its components, which can include monsters that you wouldn't have otherwise met. So I got like some electric bird. I couldn't remember the name because that I never seen anywhere else in the game because it had been fused as part of this boss fight. Okay. And I was able to unfuse it and then grab it. Fuck. Um, one of the other things, like all these little pieces that are nice, you don't just throw a ball and be like, well, it didn't work. Right? Yeah. You, you pick one of your two characters and you go, I would like to record this monster. Now, right? And then a percentage comes up from zero to 100 of your likelihood of capturing them on the next turn. So if they're full health and you're at the same level, it's like 20%. Right?

You can then use your other character to beat the shit out of them. And the recording will keep going turn after turn after turn. And the harder you beat them, the closer it gets to 100%. But you can't kill them. And I don't mean like you shouldn't kill them. I mean, they will not die if you are recording them. The percentage of catching them will only go up and go up. So you cannot accidentally. Interesting. I mean, keep beating on them until they record. Okay. Okay. I do understand that like the accidental KO, like get them to the edge bit was like a strategy thing to make it a little bit more, you know, like tense to see if you can get it right on the edge. But if you get too strong, which everybody does, it becomes a massive problem.

That's pretty good. Wow. So do you ever run into wild ones that are like in teams or are you always run into singles? Yeah, you run into wild ones that are in teams. Okay. It's like little overworld enemies like Chrono Trigger. Will you run into the enemy to fight them? Okay. And then it's usually two, maybe three at a time. Oh, and do they fuse? No. Yeah. Okay. Wild wild ones outside of the roaming like super boss things will not fuse in their own fights. Man, what a fucking yeah. This is it sounds as great as it looked when I saw it. Fuck yeah. Also, I you know, I can't I can't not mention that it has a fucking bitch in soundtrack. Of course, it's music themes, of course. It is 80s as fuck. It's like Pat Benatar cross like Paramore, like female vocalists 80s power rock.

The town theme is incredible. But when you go into buildings, the lyrics kick in. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Boss fight and regular fight music is incredible. And when you fuse, the lyrics kick in. And it like it's a good trick. It's a really good fucking trick. The best trick in the world. I mean, but if you hate that shit, there is an option in the menu that is just straight up. I would like to turn off the vocals in general so that I can keep the music at like a steady level. You can just remove fucking vocals. Yeah, it's not like the most memorable part of a a platinum metal gear character action game wasn't the music at how it's implemented. At the when you think about revengeance back going like in retrospect, like the takeaway was not

any of the crazy metal gear memes and shit like in the traditional sense. It's the goddamn boss fight music. That's such an effective trick, man, layered, layered sound, layered music, instant immersion. On top of that, it also has a fantastic series of difficulty selections. So the default difficulty includes level scaling where baby piss fights will attempt to jump up a couple levels so that they're not a joke and stuff above you won't come down. But you can move it to oblivion level scaling of everything will try and match you or you can move it all the way to no scaling at all in which the game will just not. It can also move it to everything everywhere will level to you

from the bottom, but everything above you will tell you to fuck yourself. So on top of that, the default difficulty for fights is the smartest version of a Pokemon game I've seen, which is monsters will use attacks randomly. Trainers will target your type weaknesses. Brilliant. Wild animals will do bullshit. It will be wild. Yes. Real opponents will try and fuck your shit up. Yes, strategically. That's fucking great. Wow, man. That sounds like great accessibility too in terms of just like the variety of difficulty choices. It also has drop in co-op. Okay. Because you have a second player with you at all times, you hit start, go to co-op, and then player two hits start or enter and you're done. That's it. That's how that.

Okay. Yeah. So I saw footage of that where I saw two people walking around. Yeah. So is trading a thing? Is there a thing? So okay. It's a single player. It's a it's a single player non PVP thing. No, no, no online. Okay. It's $20 or, you know, about 30 Canadian. It was made by primarily two dudes. And one of those dudes did the his brother did all the music and then a lady sang the music. So it is a total staff of four. Okay. Fucking brilliant. Yeah. Slam dunk. Absolutely like absolutely incredible. That is I it's just that's instantly such a harder sell because again, I thought Temtem, you know, looked cute. I thought it looked fine and I bought it. I just it's just clear that like the path that Pokemon laid out, they followed, you know? Yeah. Like

aggressively and what anyone who's I'm sure a fan of this genre starts doing two, maybe three games in is going like, man, I could fix this, you know, I would do this, I would tweak that, I would did it and this feels like, yeah, like an overhaul to so many things that obviously like Pokemon would never do because it would change too far from what the formula is. But that's a amazing smart way to have depth while simplifying things. Fucking it's ace. It's like every every couple of minutes I encountered some minor detail that I was like, Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. Wow. See now pal world is in fact not out yet, but pal world doesn't have to be mechanically tight. It doesn't have to be good at all. Actually, it just needs to deliver on the promise of sweatshop

bullshit gun Pokemon and that's it. And you know, a subversive commentary about our fucked world. That's all pal world has to do pal world just needs to have good memes and that that'll do it. So but yeah, no, because that beast can't can't recommend enough. What I can definitely recommend enough is straight lights. Okay, which you brought up on the podcast two weeks ago. No. Um, straight lights is the hyper light drifter looking journey ish Harry fighting game adventures thing. Yes. Yes. Um, straight lights is fascinating because third person two types of parries attack and beat them regularly or parry only passively and then beat the boss in one hit. Yeah, I saw folks describing it as Sekiro and the and the blind forest.

Okay. Um, visually that makes sense. That also sums up like its biggest problem. It is not peanut butter and chocolate. It's peanut butter and eggs. Oh, like the two great tastes that just don't work at all together because it's wanting you to do frenetic parry combat with like soothing massage music and plants and happiness and wondering and it's it is so totally tonally. It just doesn't work. It just like it just doesn't work. And also the controls and the feeling of parrying don't feel good enough. Like for a game that parry is the first button like I'm sorry dash is the first button. Parry is the second button to actually interact with enemies. The parry feels okay. Is this a bit of the wulong thing again? No, the wulong parry was not to my taste,

but it was good. This parry is okay. It doesn't have a big enough effect. It doesn't have a good enough hit stop. It just because they want it to be like smooth and like relaxing or something. I don't know. It just it just doesn't feel right. Like I was chasing a boss and I was doing a boss fight to like this super chill music in this beautiful forest. And I'm like, I'm not excited and I'm not relaxed. Okay, right. That's interesting because the I guess the trailer shows off like a bit of the world, but and some wall climbing and stuff with like, you know, your orange and there's a blue little thing or so. But then the boss fights, they look like, like in terms of like what's coming at you that looks like a souls like sequence of attacks

swing in your way and you're rolling and parrying through them. But like you're mentioning the music and the tone of that. But like also the movement and the speed on everything is mostly that as well. It's relatively slow. Attacking is not like you can attack, but you really should be parrying. Well, what if you choose to fight and beat it the other way? You only have attack. Your attack is attack button. And you will have to stop attacking to do the parry. And just the math on it felt like, no, I'm just going to wait for the parry. Do you not have like an extensive move list or? You have attack. Okay. Okay. The only you have like there you can choose to have a stun or you can choose to have like a after a perfect parry,

you can do a counter attack, but like they're all just variations off the parry. The attack in that game is filler between parry. It's like chip damage. Okay. So on paper, the concept sounds fucking radical. Yeah. And it's just like it just like it just doesn't work. Like I played it for like 40 minutes and was like, I am so bored. I am so like it's I found just so dreadfully dull. Damn. Which yeah, no, very disappointing. It's interesting how like there's little things where you can't sometimes you just can't quite put your finger on it. Like when I was playing when I played through the fuck was it called there? There the souls like that was with the stone skin defensive mechanic.

Mortal. Mortal Shell. Yeah. When I played Mortal Shell and it was like, oh, like, you know, this delivered on what it promised it would in the trailer. It's just that it was a whole lot more empty of a world when you got to it and the bosses were fun. But there's little things of jank here and there that kind of make it like if they had more time, money, budget, size, yadda yadda, whatever, insert, you know, if this game had the ability to make more of itself, more time in the oven, you wouldn't have walked you wouldn't have finished it and kind of felt that kind of like nothing that you kind of felt hitting the credits on it. Yeah, Mortal Shell was like, hey, look, it doesn't feel as

good as any of the other good games in the genre. And it I'm just constantly trudging through the ugliest most dull shitholes a developer has made in a while. Hey, look, this is the ugly forest. Hey, look, this is the ugly temple of rocks. Like the ingredients are there to polish into something good, you know, I would say that like with the types and the the ideas of what's going on, the switching bodies and characters, you know, it's kind of cool to yeah, it's not a bad idea to have a system where like instead of classes and whatnot, you kind of like have different literal characters and there your corpse run can be in different places throughout the game. You know, there's a thing to that idea. It's just you got to make the actual

little moment to moment stuff like really, really engaging. Hmm. Okay, straight lights then. Yeah. I also played a bunch of Jedi survivor. So can I can I interject because I actually forgot I did play something else. I played King of the Castle. Yeah, you fucking did. Yeah, we did a King of the Castle run and boy. Yep, that will teach you about the nature of your audience. I really got to say, Willie, you lost, which of course you did. Everybody's going to lose is the monarch on the first couple of tries. I'm genuinely embarrassed. You lost to the absolute most dog shit loser faction in that game. I have played five or six games and the Barons have fucking like shit all over themselves every time. Like it's more than

the other factions or me have won, but the Barons have lost every game for themselves. Dumbasses, total fucking losers. So I don't even remember it with the Barons winning because the the the the goth nerds were more of the instrumental. Yeah, the counts were way more antagonistic throughout the entire campaign. And it feels like they kind of just roll of the dice failed. Also, I think it's I don't know if anyone mentioned this to you, but one of the strangest coincidences is that the last game in which I was murdered and your game, we were both killed by pistol happy. Apparently so. Apparently so. So I don't know how that happens. I don't know by the game get priority, right? But then characters. But how do you make your priority even more priority

than did luck getting in there early? Who knows? Crazy. Well, that was it's a ton of fun. It's also very confusing when you're first going through it and not sure what these mechanics exactly mean, what these decisions are. There was a lot of moments where I made a call based on I thought there were decisions where it was this stability would go up or down or something like that, as opposed to this is just a check to see if you can even roll for something to happen, right? And that makes it a lot harder. And I get like, the more you know what's what you're choosing, the more you can try to play for a certain outcome and strategic it feels. But when you have three choices, one of them is this costs you a lot of money, but it's going to make everybody mad.

But then there's like two other choices that are like, I don't know, check your skill check, but the outcome is not clear what it'll be. It feels way more like Mario Party is random. There's a definite learning curve. And the recent update has allowed a lot more tax control, which helps a lot. Okay, you can't the thing is, is that you don't get it. I can see that the design of the game is obviously meant to favor your loss as you are the person on camera. And most people want to see that and it makes sense. So the that was definitely the case with the original version. The 1.1 update was like, it's way too hard as the monarch. It's way too hard. So they they increased the monarch's power for tax, they changed a few of the voting things. Okay. And

they actually shortened the monarch's ambition by one full phase. Because it used to be I want the ambition, and then you had to wait, and then you get the air and you need to wait and so on and so forth. They cut that down by one. So now it's a little more even. Yeah, I mean, my air just never showed up. Like there was the initial marriage that like went nowhere. And I was like, fine. And then I was like, okay, fuck this, I'm just going to go adopt one. And like two seasons went by and they just never got around to it. I was like, okay, I guess you just have to wait forever whenever the game decides you'll get one, you know, even though strategically, you're trying to get that done. And then other things too, as well as like, like, yeah, when you like I said,

you have one decision where you know what the outcome is and three where you don't. It's hard to strategize around that type of outcome. So that is one aspect to it where I'm like, yeah, I don't know if I'm supposed to like, like if winning means always picking the outcome you know, followed by getting bullshit lucky on some roles. I kind of wish you could fight a little more against that. I like when I have a little bit more control because I'd like to, you know, fight against a chat that was like, you know, had like a strategy to it, you know, it seems like more than anything, the one time that I did win, I played about six games, I only won the one. It's the the actual thing is to get people to sabotage each other. Yes.

Yes. Rather than just you. Yes. I ran a couple games in which it was like everyone was adamant that they would murder me. And they didn't care what would happen. And I'm like, hey, barons and counts, the patricians are going to win in one turn. And you will lose because them winning means you lose. So you might want to fucking divert some of your ire in this direction. As described when I played when I was talking about cards against humanity in the house rules, I had a lot of fun using the gift of gab to set in motion the opposite of what sometimes the chat wanted and for splits amongst the groupings, right? That's a ton of fun to just be like, okay, everybody clearly wants option C, but I can veto that or I could try to make it so that

the incentive for them to go to option C also gives them something that benefits me in a way that they really don't want, you know. But all this to say that, yeah, yeah, I that's my only thing looking back on it. And I have to play more games and see what more outcomes look like. But I do genuinely hope that, yeah, with the update, as you mentioned that, I don't know, I guess I played the update because it was I was only a couple of days ago that I played it, that like randomness is not the overall determinant factor. But no, like you're, you can play tight and then it can fuck you over one way or the other. It's definitely gambling, but you're in your, you know, you're, you're massaging the gambling in one direction or the

other. But like, you can't control what events come up because the events are based off of like the stats and you can rig the fuck out of polls. Like that's, that's, oh yeah, it's great. That's great. I've never seen my chat angrier than me when there's like the voting option that would be good for everyone. And I just fucking veto it. You have to pick between three other way shittier options that none of you can agree on. Yeah. No, I like that the tutorial explains like you can stop the count when the timer is up or when you click the button. And I was like, I'm picking up what you're putting down. Yeah. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic game. Whole lot of fun. I, yeah, I managed to turn all three against me despite the fact that it was looking pretty

healthy up until like I had, I think I had a shot, I had a path to victory in this first disastrous run where it all hinged on not letting that final super high strong military turn, you know? Yeah. Cause they would have probably won against the others, but it was all in that moment. So like the single biggest thing that I learned going through those games is you get to the point where you're, there's sometimes there's events where they're like, Hey, the barons are stockpiling gunpowder. You got to fucking, you got to try and delay their scheme or decrease their military. So that, right? You can only decrease the stat in question by one. So if they're like four ahead, anything other than delaying it is a waste. Right. Right. Right. And like I ran a couple

runs before I was like, Oh, every time I attempt to decrease the number, it decreases by one. So yeah, gotta delay most of the time. Feels like some of those powers too are kind of made for the not twitch version of the game. So the King's vote, the one where you get to add one to the count. I was like, Oh, fuck, that's hilarious. Sure, man. It should add a percentage. It's so dumb that it doesn't. It's so dumb that it doesn't. You should clearly made for the version of the game is like you and nine people. Yes. Yeah. That's balanced in a really dumb way for the twitch integration that is otherwise fantastic. Your vote should count for X percent of the total and of the total amount. So if there's a thousand people, your vote should count for 200 people.

Sure. Yeah. And then like it actually can fuck with things in a way and it's worth taking that slot up. And then there's the whole, what was it? Some of these are just to make it harder. Like nobody can see the outcomes. Reverse voting broke everyone's fucking mind every time I used it. I got confused by reverse voting by telling people to vote for certain things only to realize like, Oh no, I was, I should have done the opposite. See, like, so is that, is that pure chaos where no one sees the outcomes? Is that what reverse? Reverse voting is the, is that the item with the least amount of votes is the winner. Got it. Okay. That's, that's great. It is, it is so aggressively unintuitive that almost everyone in the chat

and myself fucked it up multiple times. Okay. Okay. So that's the thing is like, I like that those options exist and I like that there's a like chaos option, but you should allow me to lean that way if I want it and not have it be like too much chaos, you know, like, if I, if there's a strategy to, well, you don't know what's optimal for your votes, but neither do I. And then everyone in the chat is like, no, vote C, but it's like, actually that might fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. You know, then we all, the game, we all just roll. Currently only has one problem and it's actually fairly big. The application that goes, the Twitch extension that you use to check your, your, your faction and all that doesn't work on mobile. Oh,

and what happens is like maybe 30 or 40% of people are watching any given stream on mobile. If they're playing along, if they don't see their name pop up in the early part of the game when they join, they'll spend the whole game not knowing what fucking team they're on. Oh shit. Okay. Which leads to weird situations where there were a couple of situations where like, oh, this vote will make the Barons lose. And you can see Barons are like voting for it. And other Barons are losing their fucking minds going, why are you, why? It's like, because the people voting for it don't know what team they're on. Oh shit. Okay. Do they still have their personal gold and memory from previous games logged in on mobile? Okay. Yeah, but their team doesn't stay.

Okay. Because that, that's one aspect that is brilliant about the game where you can use personal greed to be like, hey, I will enrich you in a way that will go beyond this game in exchange for fucking over whatever's happening. And I like that you can, you can take something that is like, you know what? Like, fuck this one particular run. I want more money for my account. I'm a go against the interests of this or that. Like, that's fantastic. More influence on the voting for the structures on the next round. Yeah. You know, you should be able to bribe with like a gift sub, you know, like you should be able to fucking step it up and make it really fucking just like, ooh, what a trader. That'd be great. But yeah, King of the Castle is really, really fun. It's

unfortunate that name will fucking be forgotten in the analysis of history as one of the most generic names for a video game ever made. It's pretty generic. Yeah. It's just night on the horse. Yeah. King of the Hill, right? That's a new game, King of the Hill. Yeah. That's real unfortunate. I forgot there was another game we, well, there you go. There was another game that we made fun of like maybe 10 years ago or so that was like, this isn't bad because it's doing the face war Don thing. Dongate. No, no, no. It was the, it was because... No, I'm just saying that Dongate's the one we always make fun of in a specific way. Exactly. Because you roll the slot machine. But there was another game where it was like,

it's not even that it's playing that slot machine thing. It's just, it's the most generic words in the world and they're, and they're gone. They're out of your mind the moment you say them. Is it Warface? It wasn't because those are still the slot machine. No. Fucking Warface is so fucking funny. Yeah. It was, it was, it was something else, you know? But yeah. Is there, somebody mentioned a fucking game called Stormgate just now and I'm like, is that game fucking new? It fucking is. It's that Starcraft game. That's not Starcraft. It's actually called fucking Stormgate. Rise of the dawn of the... Holy shit. I love it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was fucking solid.

Okay. So question. Jedi survivor. Jedi survivor. You, you, you play it on PC? So I bought the game, then got a touch with somebody with EA who sent me a code for PlayStation and PC. Then I refunded the game that I put in the code they sent me. So I was playing on PC. So I'm going to preface this. I am not madly in love with the Star Wars brand. I think laser swords are cool as shit, but I'm not like, like the setting is not doing, it's not doing it for me by default. Right? It's like a setting that I'm interested to see stuff happen in. Right? Interesting. Interesting. I, I feel a bit of that, but I know deep inside there's a little Sun Sun where they can do things that get me. Nostalgically. Star Wars. Yeah, there's, there's

some, some Jedi laser sword magic shit they can do that I'm like, yeah. There's little things that Star Wars can always do where I go, oh, fuck. It's the tight fighter noise. You know? Right. Oh, um, like, you know, every time a Twi'lek or a weirdo talk to me, I just like, under my breath when Moka Shakapaka, right? So that being said, the game is wildly fucked up. It's like it is, it is wildly fucked up. I'll just, I'll read the headline from the, the docket, digital foundry. Star Wars Jedi survivor is the worst AAA PC port of 2023. It is, it is. So it's the first game I am rating on a new scale and the new scale is how hot this room gets. Okay. I was barely, barely handling 60 FPS with some bad stuttering. And I had to take

my flannel off and open a window and I was sweating. Oh my God. Because my PC with a 4090 in it was at 100% the whole time. Of course. In floating screens on the title screen when I'm looking at a wall like it is, it is, it is like I am able to play it approaching 60 to 70 FPS, but with like bad stuttering when I move around, right? It is, it is pushing my rig to the fucking max. That's insane. And it is ridiculous. And I loaded up the PS5 version to compare. Thank you EA for the code. And like within five seconds, I'm like, there is a bunch of screen tearing all over the place and the frame rate is like barely in improvement. The stuttering's gone. It's always really interesting when you're in a generation where your PC is at a comparable strength to your

console and you can just watch the game that you pop in. You immediately know this is not my fault. This is not on me. This is. Oh, this PC is so much fucking stronger than the console. That's a way, way, way fucking stronger. So you just know it's 100% what the fuck kind of threading is just doing. Yeah, yeah, it is. It is dying. It also has like a wide variety of bugs. If you change any of the options for graphics, the game gets stuck at half resolution. 155 gigs. Yeah, 155. Remember what about it? Yeah, true. They said it where you have to download the disc. That's why the physical forces the download. Oh my God. And it is like God. It's one of those things. And it's like, you know, I streamed it for two days and I was pretty down on it. And

like there is very likely a really pretty good eight or nine out of 10 in there. It is impossible to separate it from how fucked up it is all the time. I didn't run into any outrageous bugs. I didn't run into anything that was like extremely broken. Um, what I ran into was a really, really subpar technical experience on every level. And to the point where like I've, I've, it is the first game I have ever streamed that people could hear the computer through this microphone. Okay. I didn't, I thought I ran tests that that thing was far enough away from this microphone that it would never pick up. Jedi survivor can put these things fucking fans into this

microphone and people can hear them over the main menu. When you switch to console, most of that was God. No. Okay. When you switch to console, you start, you get screen tearing and the stuttering leaves, but the frame rate is about the same. The game does not want to run at a real frame rate. It wants to dip on PC. When it dips, it stutters on console. When it dips, it dips. Jesus. Okay. The acting and the game, this is a really minor point actually. The animations in the game when you move are fucking terrible. And he fucking drags his lightsaber behind him like a little weirdo monkey man. Like running like, like, okay, I'm playing a Star Wars game where I want to play as a Jedi, right? I want to be a cool Jedi night

with my fucking laser sword, right? When I have two lightsabers out, which is the thing that I want because I think two lightsabers are cool. He does a Naruto run with them behind him and his shoulders keep going up and down and it looks like dog shit. I mean, it sounds like force unleashed shit going on. And I'm like, you're ruining it for me. You're ruining it for me. Stop it. That sounds like some Starkiller, baby. Yeah. So obvious question, but how was Fallen Order on PC? Better, but not perfect. It had some of the performance stuff where it would be like it would stutter here and there and the frame rate wasn't as good as it should have been. But we didn't have this conversation about Fallen Order. No. It wasn't

all fucked up. Not at all. Also, the day that it came out, there was like a big apology letter. Like, we were really sorry. We didn't. We realized that and you're like, go fuck yourself. But my personal favorite, I'm not going to be able to find it right now, but I want to read you the exact text. Oh God, there is a potential. I'm going to try and find the exact phrasing. Let me help you out there. Oh, you have it. Unexpected error. You seem to have bypassed certain story elements, continuing to play from this point may encounter issues. If you choose to proceed anyway, loading any future saves from the title screen will give you the option to reload prior to this

point. Reload from last save point. Load. Continue from the last good save. You may lose some progress, but we'll avoid game breaking issues and then it gives you the location or proceed anyway. Continue with the broken state. This is not recommended. Things will likely be broken. I really want to point out I'm seeing somebody say that these are all Pat mine goblins that the game is great. I'm sure the game is great underneath all of this stuff. But to describe the wide ranging variety of issues everyone is having with this game as ah whatever. It's fucking so stupid. We're looking at a splash screen. A custom built splash screen because the issue of broken saves is so common and was going to happen so often.

They built a system to fix your saves. That system doesn't work. I need to explain very carefully what would happen if I was testing and this message popped up on the compliance team. We take a screenshot. We take a video. We take that and we put it on the desktop and we get ready to write the bug up. But before we do any of that we call a meeting. I call a meeting in the boardroom right over there. We draw the curtains. We sit around. We pull that up and we fucking howl for at least 25 minutes at that screenshot because that is the most insane thing you could ever propose. The idea of confronting a corrupted save in this one. But this is where PC shit gets wild right. Because a lot of the time Nintendo Sony Xbox yada yada they will often

have things that say you can't fucking do that. You can't go hey man your saves kind of fucked up. It's risky proposition but it's up to you if you want to stop you gotta stop you. The screenshot is from the Xbox version. So this is the thing. This is what's fucked up right. A lot of that over time like gets more PC like and they get more hands off. And so that is that is a crazy idea from what the era that I came from at the very least that you would propose a maybe you want to keep using your corrupted save maybe we're not sure it's up to you if something goes wrong and not only that the language is like so vague like they get so they're such sticklers for or they were such sticklers for language and making sure that the person the player understands destructive

actions and there's a huge there used to be a huge thing about that. This is crazy that you would like let that slide and go hey man I don't know but it's up to you if you want to fucking I I want I really need to dig into this because this is like the fucking most funny thing about it. What is the cross section of is the problem is so well known that we have enough time to try and build a system to fix it after the bug happens but we don't have enough time to actually fix it at all. So what is that like like there would be times where a game that's really poorly made would have something like this right and the default state back in the day again I'm years removed from you know those guidelines would be the error your data is corrupted something's wrong

with it right we're either you either the save is corrupted and it's gone or if you can retrieve a previous save we're just forcing that situation to occur you're gonna lose progress but it's because something else something fucked up happened right. If the game shipped in a way where that was caused by not the user's actions like that would be like they have to have gone out gotten a waiver and paid them off which guess what EA and Star Wars can probably do you know they can pay enough money to be like yeah let us let us ship a game where we get something fucked up like that but you would never give a choice you would always pick the soundest option at which is not letting the corrupted data continue to be used mind you you and you'd get rid of it and you'd

always drop them back to a clean save wherever you can or you or the whole thing's corrupted and it's gone. I mean I should also mention that the gentleman who's his post is going around by this described that when it went to load the clean save the clean save was also ruinously broken and he got stuck and would have had to restart the whole game anywhere because it was just broken it was like hey can you fix this and he went okay I guess and then it was like not still broken. This is to even address the other bit or is like I mean it's not it's not as like fucking sensational but like crash to desktop hard just yeah videos of that you know so I it is wild when a game is having this type of slop go on but there's enough money to like

just pay for some waivers pay for some shit like get it get get something smoothed over because this feels like the state you get this game in in the landlord special over a roach right right right right right right that is the special is moving out your landlord needs to make the place nice so they just fucking shittily paint over everything and they paint over hair they paint over roaches they paint over furniture god man yeah I just I can't believe they actually write that and go hey I don't know it's up to you and like hey if the game ran well and didn't have any problems I would probably look at it and be like this is a pretty good feeling Star Wars

game that apparently according to people that have beaten it it has a really good story it has a lot of cool shit in it I find it totally impossible to extricate the experience that I'm having where I'm constantly frustrated and low-key worried that the game's gonna die on me and my personal favorite is that this game which is on fire as you're playing it and heating up my office to the point where I'm uncomfortable also costs ten dollars more than the average yay yeah my favorite part is that how zero percent of this conversation has been about the content of the video game uh in as a sequel to fall in order which all right let me tell you last time we talked about it we were like batting yeah is fun yeah no shit but last time you know I remember having multiple

conversations with this game with different people and it was all about like oh the what respawn went for how the you know comparing it to souls and then like oh the the um the sisters was it the yeah the the sixth second sister say yeah exactly you know and then like the lore implications and all these things that were like about how to be a jedi with this type of combat system and none of it about any of this technical stuff um hey guess what there is totally uh swing your lightsaber around and fighting robots and stormtroopers and deflecting blaster bolts and hey that's fun it's not quite as tight or fun as it should be but it's still pretty fun um and the story seems well acted it's also like hilarious in its in its like um predictability

okay so let me let me paint a picture for you in the very first level in the game you're in course on you're gonna go find this evil senator and shake him down for information blah blah blah with your with your team of bros right now you have the one bro that helped you in combat and had a button his name's uh bodi I forget his brode brode broden whatever be something and he's got a jetpack and he's cool and he has a button when you're in combat with him um then you meet a bunch of other people that are helping you on the job that are given names and you go into a little ship right and you have a little talky section where you can walk around and talk to everybody right and be like hey hey alien guys hey hey lady blah blah blah we're all gonna we're gonna do this

mission and then uh uh uh bodi shows you his fucking daughter and goes oh I gotta get the credits to save my daughter because I love my daughter so much in the empire you know uh and then I'm looking at the door and I go okay here's what's gonna happen everyone we're gonna walk out the door and a rocket is gonna blow up something from out of frame then everyone in this room except for bodi is going to die then we will attack be attacked by a sith in which we will fight a boss fight that will tell us how to do lightsaber combat then eventually bodi will betray us because he's the only one who survived and sure enough one after another one after another now bodi didn't betray me he did not betray me in the in the time that I played he did show up later

and I'm staring at this character going you are the star wars character that is going to betray me and I bet you if I look into chat right now someone will tell me oh yeah dude that dude totally betrays you because it is the most obvious predictable shit in the fucking world and when that happens in the first couple of hours and I'm like going this is gonna happen and that happens this is gonna happen and then it happens this is gonna happen and then it happens it's really hard for me to be interested in a story that is so by the numbers that I just know okay okay I have a potential fix what if you imagine it's bodi from the wire yeah I wish with the do rag on wish hold fucking wish holding down his corner too old for this shit yo holding down his

corner man right and then he's got a little pocket lightsaber pandemic one of the things that I really like about the game that is a minor detail is that you like find uh beards and hairstyles in chests around um and two of the first ones that you unlock are like a fucking disgusting handlebar mustache and a freak ass mullet oh I saw that picture uh so my calcestis is fucking just shit kicking around the galaxy and he looks like a fucking piece of shit oh yeah yeah yeah um the fucking Jedi du Bois yeah I think it's yeah I think that part is great but yeah no it's it I feel like it's impossible for me to give the game a fair shake and I shouldn't have to when the game is in this fucked up state and it and it and it costs more than a

regular game therefore it must be held to a higher scrutiny because this is quadruple a baby right this is this is the future games gotta cost more because they're gonna be so good well not this one man it's that it's that quadruple a tax that extra uh fuck you cost thrown on top of it wonderful that's like the the timing that's great the time the timing is I played cassette beasts and then when the game came out at midnight I switched to Jedi survivor and I was like like all of you watching should buy cassette beasts and buy three of your friends cassette beasts instead of buying Jedi survivor so what I'm curious about is um as I was uh reading this story there was an update uh a day ago which uh apparently uh there's a uh the first

of many patches uh has dropped to try and I've heard that it helps a little mm-hmm so um from what I yeah from what I've seen it still stutters frame rate still uh is is uh completely unstable but uh some of the other initial problems that digital found you were reporting on get covered by the patch you know what I maybe this is unfair but woolly you'd be able to tell me if it's unfair it's my opinion that when a game comes out well they fucked up okay wildly you got to chain it to them forever no no okay but if it comes out wildly fucked up and then within like five days they're like here's a patch that helps a little bit mm-hmm and then a week later that goes here's another patch that helps a little bit and so on and so forth to a stable state in the future

that uh it seems like maybe they kicked it out the door too early and this should have been the normal case of development to work on it for three more months that's not hypothetical that's absolutely certain um there are they got the white papers for whatever game uh was was going through you know certification get conditional passes which are your day one patch will fix these issues it does not uh they well they'll they'll make deals absolutely what you're describing is a part of the process where you basically go all right look we promise you right we'll go from gold master we'll take this build it'll how it'll be fucked up but the patch on day one is absolutely going to fix these issues yadda yadda and don't worry about it because nobody's ever going to

play this in a cabin in the woods where there's no internet so everyone besides you have to download you can't you have to download it right exactly so no one will ever know the unpatched version of the game so it's fine like let's take uh somebody made a really great point oh wait uh final fantasy 16 has been content done for like a year like it's like a full year of development on that game is clean it up make sure it runs good uh make sure there's nothing no crust hiding around the edges make sure it's nice and and polished whereas this thing you could throw this game back in the in the fucking oven for six more months and it would probably still come out kind of fucked up like i mean it takes a lot for them to say this is the worst pc port of the year

so far um although i would uh from my experience with this year i would absolutely say that is the case it's wild apparently there is a hold my beer to this though in the form of redfall so uh we're gonna yeah yeah um here i gotta use the bathroom um but like that's that these two are going hand in hand apparently this week with just like the the what the shit is happening to these pc ports um brb okay so uh yeah i my understanding so redfall the latest arcane game um coming off the pedigree of uh dishonored which you know heard good things about um what was the other one death loop death loop was okay and so this one's a left for dead style co-op foreplayer borderland shooter style co-op actually oh Schluter yes a Schluter excuse me

and uh yeah so apparently in the same vein uh this thing is just a ridiculously bad pc port yeah so here's the thing about red oh pray can tell right i've been digging this into this this morning um redfall is massively fucked up about as bad as jedi survivor it is uh like just sliding enemies uh co-op fucking if somebody drops from co-op it kicks everybody out of the fucking mission right um uh just super fucked up terrible fucking performance um i'm seeing people in the chat right now say it was worse than cyberpunk was when it came out ooh right but and here's the great part from going through people's experience with it and reading up on it it seems like even if all that shit was fine it's not a good game underneath that jedi survivor has good shit in

it that's exactly it yeah redfall seems like a dud that is also a fucking mess so a couple so a couple of articles covering the like the shit going wrong and the bugs and the performance are also basically saying that like aside from the uh uh yeah all this the the technical problems um there aren't enough enemies or enemy types every gun feels the same things are just kind of like not really selling the world um abilities have long cooldowns don't meaningfully interact with the world or enemies explore the detailed area stuff that every other arcane game has and i guess this is where with each of these bullet points i i kind of wonder like what yeah i'm like in the previous games how did like like they didn't have these issues right like

no okay they had issues they're not perfect but they sure didn't have these fucking issues um none of those games were multiplayer though right uh pray did have a multiplayer mode and it sucked up and death loop had a multiplayer mode and it sucked right okay so this is not what they're usually in the wheelhouse doing um yeah this feels like they're anthem so uh this too had a as of today um patch that drastically improves performance and addresses a bunch of issues and people are saying okay they're seeing some fixes that are uh uh uh you know being scratched off the list but it's far from fixing everything that's going wrong um and it's like if what is it like a couple days since this release if there was a patch that made the game like five percent better

that came out like four days later that patch was in dev before the fucking game came out imagine what they could have done with the right amount of time so yeah it got blown up um apparently it's mostly negative right now um i get yeah you know i guess the i guess that that's the vibe right it'll just be all right that's what you get the game is out but it's not out quality this is the quality you can expect from Bethesda and EA when they charge you ten dollars more for a video game i was at i was talking to people in the live chat and i was looking myself hey what games came out so far that are ten bucks more and the list is interesting a bunch of EA sports games which are all complete dog shit redfall jedi survivor god of war ragnarok and demon souls

oh and for spoken i fucking forgot about for spoken for spoken yeah yeah so there's a real a wild hearts two wild hearts two and horizon yeah yeah yeah so hey look at this uh for and zelda god of war ten bucks more god of war yeah so god of war horizon demon soul zelda first party um so all the games that are first party that come out at ten dollars more are all big money games right they're big money god of war ragnarok you can see the big money horizon zero dawn and uh the forbidden whatever the fuck you can see the big money big money big money wrestlers wrestlers all over et cetera yeah wild hearts and fucking oh dead island two is also wild hearts dead island two uh uh fucking redfall jedi survivor sports games like you're you're not

getting ten dollars more value you're getting fucked like like like the like the the the non first party uh record now is if the game costs ten dollars more it probably sucks ass um so there's that i'm also thinking of the with this genre the last time i heard we talked about it you were talking about uh back for blood and how that is just not going to do what fucking left for dead did um no so is the only decent successor to left for dead then just um um dark tide no the the good successor to left to left for dead is deep rock galactic oh true true okay there's that one too rock and stone okay um so at this rate starfield's gonna cost like 200 dollars and be the most buggy fucked up game but that's just a release um yikes i i uh there's a

new study that comes out by some consumer group that says hey you know what the ten dollars extra is apparently hurting sales very significantly on video games well you get way more upset when the extra you pay leads to a fucking horseshit and it it makes it you know what i mean like it's it stings that much more because you're already like even if this was what you wanted and it worked fine you'd be like ah god damn it they're doing the thing well you know i think there's another reason i rolled my eyes hard at fucking street fighter when that happened you know i think when i i think when i look at a game and it cost 107 dollars right i go um i'm like it it when it's when it's different from the norm it introduces a secondary thought process of

should i really get this or should i wait a little bit and then if and then if i wait a little bit and oh the game is massively fucked up yeah i'm never gonna i'm never gonna get it but like yeah i mean like there's i hate when you're just like like there's these weird things like there's these weird instances of that that price jack up where um so what i'm thinking of super robot wars 30 is like yo do you want western super robot wars because hey this doesn't happen very often the licensing shit is crazy but we figured it out bamco's gonna do our thing for this one we figured it out we got a bunch of people to agree and it's not even an og it's gonna have the actual license to send them and even we might even get the music if you

want it that'll be 110 dollars please and you're just like i want to support the idea of a western fucking srw thing being a regular thing but really man every fucking time do you want your elves in golem to speak in elf language well you're gonna need to kick up another 10 dollars you know i was just like man like that that number is just like it's like it's that dead or alive like we know you're gonna fucking spend it come on cough pony up pony up you know anyways i know that in some cases it's like oh well there's a base version that'll have less or minus the licensing dragon ball fighters had the you don't want the anime music you don't have to buy the dlc pack type thing yeah you know smart but uh just it's it's rough when it's like oh man

there's a like i there is a i want to support this because i want to let them know that this should continue to be a thing but you're making it rough man for people who are you know interested so it's just yeah this price creep up yeah it never it's gonna keep going you know it never gets better it always gets worse and i feel i feel like it's kind of hilarious because like the price it's in everyone okay it's in the people who's selling video games best interest to pair up the price creep up with yeah come on it's worth it though right so like what does sony do they pair it with demon souls or they pair with god of war right what's nintendo do they slap it on fucking zelda is capcom doing it for street fighter i don't know uh i don't think so but if they did they kick it on a street

fighter right i mean street fighter four had that fucking ten dollar up uh for the first time i remember so they're not doing it okay but if they if they did it would be capcom would go like hey reasonable four looks like it'll be game of the year maybe it's 10 more 10 bucks right it's in everyone's best interest to give you the the poison pill but also be like oh but it's worth it right um it's in no one's interest selling games to kick up the price and then release a half baked piece of fucking shit like uh people who get fucking mad over their dollars getting wasted remember and i remember being a kid and people switching consoles because they were upset about versions right right right yeah yeah the salty fucking i'm switching teams uh uh move the thing is of course

is that like um we are also now though in a world where you can legitimately just be like fuck it i will i will not spend it on that i'm instead gonna buy any of the like uh uh fucking amazing indies that came in at 20 to 30 bucks that we've talked about recently which one cassette beast cassette beasts what was the um the fucking eldritch boat uh dredge dredge cost 20 bucks like all these things where it's you're coming on going off about how fucking awesome the concept is and it is an absolute value purchase you know and in the meantime 30 dollars damn high five rush made more money than forespoken despite coming out at less than half the price and that's crazy because they're published by Bethesda so they're they're under the umbrella of

bullshit pricing that we're talking about right now you'd expect you know you'd expect for their larger titles but yeah that's it there are amazing budget titles everywhere you look um but yet this march continues you know it's we can't like i'm trying to i specifically did not say hollow night because we've been talking about that shut up for you for a nose hollow we don't we i brought galactics like ten dollars you know that i think the point it works better if we stop talking about hollow night because it's the obvious years old example that worked like current shit that we just recently talked about but it's it's like the jedi survivor situation what me playing cassette beasts right beforehand was as stark as it's

ever been okay here's what you can do do you want to play a good game you can buy jedi survivor and maybe have a good time with this bloated fucking mess right with a good game underneath or you could buy yourself and three friends um fucking cassette beasts and have a way better time and support people who work their asses off or let's let's roll the dice harder okay do you want a fantastic game that will last you many many hours and be great value and also be a cool guy cool guy instead of buying jedi survivor why don't you go buy 14 copies of vampire survivors for six dollars the dlc and give them to everyone you know the soon to be a hit tv series vampire survivors i was about to say vampire survivors the fucking five dollar game now slated for

adaptation for television have you heard about this fucking craze what why what huh they're adapting it they apparently um the press release you go ahead in cad right now vampire survivors and both dlc's cost about nine or ten dollars so let's say ten dollars right jedi survivor costs 80 plus tax so you could get at least eight copies of all of vampire survivors just give them away just be a cool guy give them give them to your friends why not why not odd if i'm gonna spend stupid amounts of money i at least want my goddamn 44 button mecca controller to come with my purchase yeah you fucking jackasses uh anyway fuck um so yeah uh jedi survivors is is fun great you shoot a lightsaber great uh what else

i go through uh i went and um i did something i don't usually do i played last epoch on stream for like half an hour last week and just was like eh didn't do it for me and i was like people were like you know when people are like really disappointed they're not so much mad they're just like oh man i really like that game right i'm like okay yeah i'll go back i'll try it out um two things to say about last epoch sorry three things it's diablo it's literally diablo it's just diablo it's just diablo but it's not diablo it's not made by blizzard it's diablo um and as a as a it's just diablo but not made by blizzard it's pretty good it looks well it plays good it sounds good um it has a really cool skill system that lets you do all sorts of zany shit

yeah good game thumbs up uh two um uh in these types of games they're like dopamine factories they're like hit button see cool shiny thing kind of like vampire survivors um it's fucking you should not let the game start without like one cool button to push like oh is your base form just like trash a lot of like the base form versions of these characters like feel like shit on fun 10 minutes hmm right and then you get all their buttons as you level up very quickly um and you're like yeah cool great but like some of the abilities you get are like direct replacements for your default attack and they have fancy particle animations on them and that explains why the default attack looks like shit because it's actually the fancy animation with all the effects

pulled off of it okay i don't think that's a good first impression that's what kicked me off it in the first place where i was like oh wow this feels bad it's like oh little did i know i was playing the ugly stupid version okay character okay 10 15 minutes because yeah the um trailers are showing off a bunch of stingers and spins and diving bomb hammer drops and fancy lightning shit so you just one good button you just all of that you just take the the the like glowing and elemental effects off and they just do the same basic swings mm-hmm um and the third one is that last uh epoch is in early access and you can fucking feel it because shit breaks i was streaming it for three and a half hours and ran into the same bug over and over and over and it was a bug

where i couldn't pick things up off the floor yikes okay i couldn't pick loot off items and equipment in a diablo game jesus christ that is a bad fucking bug i'm shocked they have not fixed it shocked um did you do any of the multiplayer no i don't give a shit about that okay i'll so then i talked about fucking last epoch and people like oh why don't you try grim dawn and and then i described that grim dawn which is a kickstarter game that was diablo before diablo three and whatever it's another it's not diablo i was like oh i can't play that game because the the ui is for ants it was it came out in 2016 back when everybody was using 1080p and so when you kick it up to a resolution you use now even though your monitor is slightly it's fucking

impossible and the game has like a little slider to increase the size of the interface and it increases it from uh genuinely impossible to maybe if you squint really hard you can read things oh no so i was like oh it looks really cool and i'm not gonna play it now because bummer uh until somebody reached out and was like actually just go into the the go to the any file and go to ui scale manually for change yeah from one point five to one point two or some shit and hey look at that looks good it works you know what grim dawn is grim dawn is an alternate universe diablo three it is it feels like it's from that era and it feels like instead of making it like they made a diablo three they made it more like diablo two it feels pretty good the control

their support is excellent it's not the best looking one of these games but it's pretty solid but is this probably keep dicking around is this is this like twiddling into diablo clones based on the fact that diablo four got everyone excited exactly what that is okay yeah that is exactly okay okay i like the dopamine when i hit the button and the thing fall on the floor but when diablo four drops we're probably gonna throw all these in the trash that's i'm assuming it sounds like that because diablo has the best button when you hit the button in the diablo game it feels the best and that's really all that really matters um and after all of that shit last night i i loaded up hankai star rail oh that thing okay yeah um do you remember genshin impact

instead of genshin impact being like breath of the wild uh this is space and persona battles in terms of gameplay or it is a jrpg with persona style like type advantage like fights okay uh but you're in space now did you get your bifu's on one no um did you even get you actually still in fact i'm actually still in the tutorial wow what it does remind me of and i had forgotten is the part of the tutorial is teaching you how to go get your bifus and part of the tutorial is giving you uh 50 to 80 free tickets to kick into a part of the gacha system that exists pretty much for the tutorial

like by going through the game regularly it gives you 80 tickets that are used for a beginner roll system that disappears after you use those tickets on it like it's it's kind of fake but it's to teach you hey here's your here's your hit it here it is um okay hankai star rail genshin impact hankai impact um terrible name where or what isn't zenla zone zero also a thing i don't know that's supposed to be coming to your wallet sometime soon it's called the hoyo verse which is tear me hoyo yeah yeah terrible name awful fucking name okay so zenla zone zero is the new one that's not out yet hankai impact i don't even know what that is it's the really stylish really stylish trailer with a

bunch of marketable characters what yeah you're telling me me hoyo made a really stylish trailer with a bunch of marketable characters they sure did in fact they introduced them in a really stylish way that made you think wow maybe i would want to acquire those characters if i had to purchase them um and uh yeah but like is is i knew there was hankai impact and then genchin impact and then zenla zone zero but star rail is uh another that came after genchin impact or where does that fit in i guess in the came out this week okay so okay it's brand new brand new so zenla's is after this i guess yeah okay all right um yeah it's it's uh me hoyo made a persona game basically yeah in space okay um that's what it sounds like that's what it looks like that's what it plays like

um and so far yeah hey guess what here's the upsetting part about the me hoyo games being gacha games it's excellent as an action game yes so far it is a fantastic fun little rpg the the the it is it is smooth the system is interesting etc the only part of it that i have any complaint whatsoever is that it is a gacha game the secret is to put gacha mechanics into two otherwise good normal games yeah that that is in fact the secret uh i will that's all i really have to say about it i uh dad asana has actually been incredibly helpful explaining me how all this shit works and what is efficient um so i will check back in next week with what's going on here's a question cause oh sorry go for it well and i mean this is more so asking not you but through

you to others how much of these games are enjoyable spending a minimal amount slash ignoring all of the gacha i think that really depends on your personality um because the first person i reached out to is a guy that i raid with an f of 14 because he plays it and he plays it free to play exclusively okay and he played i think he played genshin free to play as well exclusively and was like the part that makes you crazy is the part where you go i want to have all the characters or i want to have that character that one thing that's hard to get right instead of a bunch or even most okay right because like for example uh right now the banner running is a character named sale which is virginal with a scythe yeah i've seen the i've seen the people

who sent me yeah super fancy super op right that character can will only exist for 14 more days and then after that that character is gone for probably over a year okay okay so they make it hurt the the phomo gets in bad i imagine that's pretty smart because that the deal there is it's not like you're gonna have a like i mean every every economy has its army of like free to plays and then a couple whales to feed it right that's what they do but this sounds like you're this sounds like you're all you're kind of introducing the free to plays that hit that one though and i will wail for this one drop so and then go back to being free to play and that's the fucking profitable too what appears to be the trick the trick is to save all your roles all the time until you see

the one that you would fucking wail on super hard dolphins is that a term that's hilarious because of because of the way the pity works right if you if you just don't use the roles it knows the one that you're like this one you can do that so the pity system is it knows what you're trying to get and will eventually give you like like a crane game where they'll know how much you spent on it the pity system is complicated okay in crane games you spend a x amount of yen trying to get something and failing and then the person will just come up and open it and give it to you the basic the basic way that it works is there's a limited banner and the limited banner is the one that has the character that goes away right and they're always five star and after 90 you're

guaranteed to get a five star and it's usually going to be the one on the banner but sometimes it's not and after another 90 you are now guaranteed to get the actual one that you're ostensibly rolling for so it's 180 which is pricey but any banner that you fail to get the one that you want that bullshit will now carry over to the next one oh yeah so the progress bar let's say uh i saw some folks saying that uh you know they're playing the new game and they they did all the content and they got like uh you know 100 rolls or whatever right say they run 100 rolls and they don't get the banner character that they want right on the next banner they would be guaranteed that character with an 80 because the game is saying you haven't gotten the banner character

in x and obviously these turn off if you actually just luck out and get the fucking thing mm-hmm and reset well do start if you're like absolutely bonkers for some fucker coming in six months just sit on it so um my understanding is that and maybe this is wrong that in games where they're like card games the star rating is like not just the rarity and shininess of the of the card and the character but also the strength of the card yeah that's about right in games like this where it's an action game and you're getting a character you can play as not an action game but it's a turn-based jrpg okay in games like this where the gameplay is more um active in that regard is a five-star character just a strong character to play as the answer is not always but usually

okay like is that more of a statement on the shiny rarity rarity or the the and how fancy and pretty their visuals are what I from what I can tell talking to people is like five stars tend to be really strong but in star rail anyway the fours which are what you're gonna get 99% of the time are also really really strong they're not necessarily just as broken but they're there so that you don't like be sad because you couldn't get a five star I will have to report back in as this goes as I I'm gonna do my best to basically if I get to the point where I'm about to wail on it I'm gonna quit right okay I'm gonna do that anymore the size of the tits got it understood as of right now that is how it is working out yes loud and clear perfect

all right uh working people tune in they can go to twitch.tv slash pat stairs at this week I will be probably streaming um star rail tonight after the podcast because I'm still trapped in the tutorial um you know you know the reason I picked up star rail why one is because miHoYo's games are fucking gorgeous and I hate them for it but the second thing is that I just completely fucking fell off marvel snap completely ah like marvel snap just evaporated from my I I didn't play it in 40 days and was like oh right I haven't loaded that fucking thing up in 40 days weird huh now I have nothing I want to play on my phone and I get stuck in places where I want to play something on my phone and I go what should I play on my phone and like 150 people separately

were like you should try the ho yo shit yeah you should try out honkers yeah yeah I uh I was describing this uh last week but um a lot of like my teppen like I jumped in and out toes dipped yadda yadda after I was going hard for a while uh once I got Virgil I'm kind of satisfied with the video game and I can put that down probably you know because like I legitimately don't even feel the need to ever purchase anything that is not being forced upon me to compete in the next seasons or whatever because I got what I want you know so um yeah I know I know what you mean I also feel like I'm glad that for me at least there's an end point to I feel like if I ever get like go hard into any of these is like if I get the thing that I'm really really satisfied

with which I suspect would happen in warframe right I I suspect I would oh yeah dude warframe you can get one frame like real early and just be like yeah I'm just use this for done literally just done I'm happy to sit on top of the thing I like and just you know maybe curiosity peak uh at something else for a second but if I like what I got then I have no I'm immune to your fucking in front page deals and I'm immune to the size of the titties cool uh I'm all I don't know what else I'm gonna stream this week probably something but go down to twitch.tv slash pat stairs that it'll be fun all right uh let's take a quick word from our sponsor this week uh the podcast is sponsored by express vpn I love you express vpn

when you go to the bathroom you close the door behind you I do as well I mean unless I'm power moving on my wife unless I'm like hey page check this out damn okay wow sounds like you're frying chicken in there huh yeah anyway um hey I I had I had a bathroom that had a fucking weird like let's call it a door situation so I had two things I had I have I had a barn door right which didn't secure itself into place when it was fully barn door it over and second there was a glass up top and um a strange decision construction wise to create a essentially fucking peep window situation um weird I don't know why it was built that way but that's what it that's the way it was it was done so we we frosted over that glass and fixed it um because you got to do that

sometimes and that's important um you would feel pretty uncomfortable if you were sitting there just worried about if someone was gonna either peep in from up top or kick that barn door over over so um that's why express vpn is is important because using the internet without a vpn is like going to the bathroom and not closing the door everyone can see what if your isp could walk right up to the bowl and just pull out a magnifying glass and just start analyzing it and taking notes right that'd be super fucked up okay that'd be weird who knows rival schools you guys remember rival schools trust me trust me I don't let you down who remembers rival schools okay I remember rival

schools do you remember kiyosuke the guy in orange hair glasses white yeah I remember that guy okay there's official artwork that is in the game that loads on the loading screen sometimes and you can see it in the art books too of um all the students including batsu and edge at the urinal in the students bathroom and they're everyone's taking a pee but kiyosuke for some strange reason is standing off to the side with a notebook and a pencil and he's writing notes and that's fucking weird kiyosuke we don't know what he's up to but we do know what he's up to we don't know why but kiyosuke is writing down notes and that has been forever a super weird piece of rival schools art where we're like bro what the fuck so what are you doing man if you don't want your isp

up all up in the bathroom like kiyosuke in rival schools you should get express vp ad it'll protect your laptop your phone your router anyone on your wi-fi can be protected at the top level all you got to do is fire it up and press one button and that's it your isps can't spy on you they can't sell your information to tech giants who use your data to target you and on top of that you can pretend to be from another country so that your video apps can't be like no you're not allowed to watch that it's great right now you can get an extra three months of express vpn free by going to express vpn.com slash super beast that's express vpn.com slash super beast for three extra months free express express vpn.com slash super beast

thanks express vpn thank you all right so um we already addressed a number of items here so fucking redfall get out of my face redfall yeah i mean i talked about it earlier but just to finish off the thought you bet your fucking ass vampire survivors is is uh getting an animated television series and it's the funniest thing in the world that like that game can't not rip off castlevania the ridiculousness of the press release for this um is where they say the words you know this the most important thing in vampire survivors is the story so this is a dream come true to see what started as an indie game come to life as an animated show oh that's so fucking funny as everyone does um i do wonder if they've

realized that there isn't a single vampire in vampire survivors though not yet so not yet in 2021 rural italy there's an evil person named biscount draculo who has evil magics and he fills the world with famine and suffering but there are no vampires none not a single vampire okay well um great to hear that this was greenlit wonderful this is great what the absolute fuck man what the absolute fuck why what are we doing ripping off castlevania but everyone's gonna be italian okay but what if it comes out and it's just like one of those flash sprite stories where they just add voice acting to the sprites

from the video game standing around you know what it you know what it should be it should be a game it should be a it should be a show in which they get into an action scene and it's just like insanely badly animated but they just keep adding more and more things on the screen oh hey honey oh yay and then they fucking the sound effects off the thank you darling the sound effects off the the fight scene just get louder and louder and louder and louder and the music is you can't hear the music you can't hear the dialogue and the frame rate slows down yeah and the frame rate slows down and it does that every episode absolutely absolutely um i want shitty bayonetta to have shitty bayonettas lose you're so obsessed with that it's the artwork on steam it's the banner of

the game the poster girl that should be the main character in theory like what do you want me to tell you man like you're so obsessed with the thing that you see when you go to buy the game uh yeah no just commit commit fully and thoroughly to uh this asinine shit um and again i'm thinking there's an entire era of just not the flash new ground shit where they like what everyone would have a big fight scene but just like a really badly written long drawn out thing where the super mario world mario sprite is talking to a horrible edit of sonic who's trying to like look up yeah and and um at certain points you gotta be you gotta mash tab so that the flash browser will select a yellow box around the secret chapter that you can click on no all right someone someone

knows you know vampire survivors is like the fifth best reviewed game on steam number one no five fifth damn portal terraria stardew some fucking bullshit called people playground i don't know what that is and then vampire survivors and then hades vampire survivors better than hades damn that's that's just math maybe microsoft should spend 69 billion dollars purchasing vampire survivors maybe they fucking should because they're not getting activision blizzard apparently oh my god dude so this is the past this is what's in the past year right we've been listening to activision blizzard describe what a tiny penis it has and how bad it is at its job dude we suck so bad at this shit

all of our shit is broke our valuations are so the worst you really pile of fucking dog shit everybody quit all the employees betray me uh oh it's awful oh fuck oh we promise we promise to put call duty on the on the switch on the nintendo we love the nintendo the only thing that could save us would be massive acquisitions well um it turns out that uh the uk is specifically blocking the purchase not because of the myriad of reasons that have been discussed up to this point but because specifically it thinks that cloud gaming would be harmed by microsoft cornering the market cloud gaming man that is the most baffling detail about this going down because multiple countries have been investigating this and i'm not you know surprised that like yeah

it's like oh this is coming from the uk they're getting involved and that there's uh uh uh bones to pick but when the fuck has cloud gaming which i i got a thing here that was explaining it's like uh uh uh sony voluntarily pulled out of cloud gaming um uh as well as uh uh uh google right like it's a market that has not panned out in a lot of ways but that has been the major blocker on this insanely massive merger purchase decision why that the shittiest shit garbage that's ever existed in the game business some regulators like no dude that's going to be the future so you guys own it that'd be super monopoly can't have that there is one really fucking funny part i dug through some of the the details there's one part that made me laugh super

hard because um there's you know the cloud gaming stuff and there's also all sorts of business shit in there that's like you know i don't i don't fucking understand but one of the reasons they denied it there's a couple in there the the funniest one in the main one they say is cloud gaming but the funniest one is them going we don't believe you when you say you're committed to the to supporting nintendo for the future despite entering into a binding contract with nintendo because you entered into the agreement during the acquisition review process like it's it's like the the the fucking like paperwork equivalent of what do you think we're fucking stupid we started to look at you and then you started to be on your best behavior

yeah the the board is called the competition and markets authority who investigate antitrust potentially antitrust violations and situations in the industry and uh yeah the call of duty deal struck with nintendo uh was not something that they considered a remedy to the situation um so it's absolutely true insults on american sovereignty it's absolutely true that like with these insanely massive acquisitions becomes cornering of the market and we hit anything we hit things much closer to monopolies and oligopolies and all of that internationally with the size of these businesses it's just i just i don't know how they're standing on such a weird part of this and not the idea of the everything else gaming market also being cornered the fuck out across

the board um who knows maybe they're just full of shit yeah so you know yadda and they could legally put on paper or whatever it affected stock prices and so on and so forth um it is it is interesting that uh i guess yeah having not i haven't not having not gone a super in in depth here though um when one country's uh uh antitrust investigation board like comes out with and then doesn't agree to this type of thing um would these giant companies in theory be able to choose to withdraw from that market and operate around i don't know but but judging on how fucking what an absolute insane tantrum bobby caudeck was throwing on twitter a couple days ago i'm gonna say this is um this is a bad thing for them yeah uh sure a dip in the in both microsoft

and activision stocks is not a good thing unless you're trying to you know pull one over of course but uh that that all aside i mean i just i always wonder when it's like this they specify that this is yeah this is the uk if that there's any ways that like is it just a matter of like we could but it's not worth it because obviously that's an entire fucking giant market that we we don't want to do without so fuck it never mind you know um what it was what was bobby saying massive i didn't see it fucking l this is a huge l what was bobby saying oh he was he was just fucking uh this is why like the uk is so fucked up and they're infringing on the fucking rights of american companies and they don't know what the fuck that's tantrum shit did he just start

shitting on british food and and winston trishel yeah why not fuck it like yeah okay this is why you guys need thatcher again yeah okay fucking put thatcher back up there fucking she's a fucking skeleton do it it'd be cool nice all right uh speaking of returning from the dead do you like king of the hill i do like king of the hill i very much like king of the hill how would you feel about king of the hill shippuden uh conflicted let me i don't know hold on let me throw a wrench in the works plus a time skip well yeah you would have to that's what the shippuden is about yeah you'd have to time skip it king of the hill is coming back and uh it's moving a bit forward in time so bobby's

gonna be older and uh they're starting production table reads in april he's an adult is fucking frightening they didn't say adult but they said older and considering pamela adlon's voice like she can play bobby at all ages really like she's fucking incredible she could she could do it top to bottom but um all we know is this is gonna be king of the hill plus time to be returning uh sometime soon i'm conflicted because i love king of the hill but at the same time uh this may suck shit maybe at the same time as much as i've enjoyed king of the hill uh in the past i haven't been such a faithful episode two episode watcher that i know how it ended or any of that you know me either it served the role that like most actual television shows did which was you

caught it when it was on and that was that so i don't see it there being more of it as necessarily a bad thing at all i mean i really was into uh future ama and it came back and some of it was all right and some of it apparently wasn't and i feel like king of the hill in today's era or even somewhat future uh it's gonna be weird it'd be because like because like dale there are a lot more dales now like at the same dale is a lot less weird than he would was in the 90s at the same time i would imagine mike judge has been sitting for the last 15 years watching king of the hill hit viral supremacy on the internet being like well what the fuck my show's over and now it's a hit on with all the kids you know propane and propane accessories like i think he's thinking

let me strike while the iron is propane hot i i like okay i liked future ama when it came on i would watch it but i have no knowledge of like future ama coming back the 10 times yeah it came back like yeah it was quite it was crazy and and like i remember seeing people saying like uh oh it was great it was great it was not so great it wasn't so good and like there was like a look at the dip but here's what's actually what that to happen to king of the hill i hear that and again there's more king of the hill that i haven't seen than i have yeah same here and that's applied yeah for most of people who just caught it on fox randomly i'm sure that's how what it was like but uh the fact that there's enough people in this audience right now and people and tiktok

zoomers that are aware of what this show is and know enough about it when it was off the air for them um means it still has some kind of staying power that is you know i could see the cast and and again then creator being like yeah people kind of still make fun of and meme it and reference it and kids still know what it is it's it's floating around as an internet thing i would like to kill ass is a giant meme i would like to see hank interact with the genzi so no i want to see peggy interact with the genzi well there you go right the most out of i mean you know how you watch the simpsons you're like marge is a good person i really like marge she doesn't deserve all the shit peggy sucks so bad oh marge has her moments where she's like do the kids still say cool cool

is that a thing you know like yeah it's it's it's harmless and it's cute peggy is is like but peggy is the proto karen but peggy is on tiktok right that's that like you want to talk about her interacting with zubers she would be in all of this shit um absolutely why don't why do kids feel like they don't have to talk to their parents anymore they owe it to us see like that bitch onto like her 400 boomers just going how come my kids don't talk to me anymore hard on the algorithm and and diving long into chat gpt or hank diving into chat gpt actually in the same episode i could see that you know uh anyways um i only have one thing to say further and that is um oh god i can't remember his fucking name boomhower was dale con no it's con jr boomhower what's that

con jr no it's hank boomhower dale and oh shit oh fuck uh bill bill bill if bill is alive i will shit yeah yeah yeah okay you know what congratulations this conversation has just sold why this actually works completely yeah i think the hill can come back yeah the world is fucking weird enough that them standing around you know just think about bill dotriev just standing in his fucking kitchen just eating like boiling pasta and just getting the ladle and just eating the pasta out of the out of the boiling pasta water not even not even straining it and like looking out the window and crying and it's the funniest thing in the world oh no the guys roll up to the fence and with a bud light and dale starts losing his mind yeah no actually no actually

no dale would not no no the way that that would work is dale would actually be really supportive of bud light right for a reason that didn't exist right okay okay yeah yeah yeah dale would be like oh you know they're just trying to distract you from the burn yeah yeah yeah yeah absolutely oh god all right there there um so we we talked about adaptations uh one of the ones that we go fought at and i believe said uh what the fuck is that gonna be that'll probably never happen in uh is now got a trailer gran turismo the movie has been released and so you know what it is because i saw that it's got um it's got fucking it's got you it's got a star-studded cast and the gran turismo product a sony pictures movie production has a trailer you can go watch

it featuring a whole bunch of gran turismo footage and it's the story of those race car drivers that went from playing video games to being real drivers it's that adapted and gran turismo qualified all right so based on a true story we covered the we covered some of those antics when they had like a couple of drivers that transitioned from like vert video game racers racing champs to actual drivers um so basically they just did that and went what if the game he played was gran turismo the whole time okay because so that's like the tetris movie where it's actually all about the right nonsense and getting the rights to tetris now okay yeah sure now i might be wrong but i thought like i'm pretty sure like there were other car games that were

more simulatory that led to that story happening but either way whatever sony's funding their thing and neil blonde camp is directing um which is like i don't know what he's been up to besides since district nine and chappy but that's kind of wild um sure yeah nascar and forza right that's what the actual story was so anyway whatever uh you can go watch the gran turismo movie trailer if you if you'd like i just it's like gran turismo didn't even have human beings in the cars for like four or five of the games like um for i just remember the the whole we can never see damage on the cars ever under any circumstances yeah for like years it was such a big deal that there could be no damage that's why burnout fucking kicked ass you know it's it's sad because

like the the car companies were lending and letting their cars get damaged is i believe is part of the reason the killed burnout because burnout's niche was like well we can't fuck up real cars fuck up these fake ass cars though they had that that's some of that blitz the league energy where it's like oh the nfl doesn't want its players drop kicking each other between plays anymore fine we'll to make our own blitz with blackjack and hookers where you take drugs and fucking stim up between huddles yeah i guess what that was awesome and uh football players are fucking pussies sorry football fans are fucking pussies because they'll see a guy's testicle explode from a fucking failed steroid injection and suplexes and shit and go nah man i want the fucking raiders

to have the good roster i don't know dude one time i saw a guy get tackled so hard his eyeball popped out of his head sports game fans are the worst and then al Pacino started talking about inches it was pretty well oh yeah speaking of i forgot i'm gonna be playing tape to tape this week they sent me a code it's the the hades style uh fucking old style hockey game roguelike oh okay oh yeah uh didn't we talk about that before i want to say yeah we did yeah it's out tomorrow cool um great uh yeah so only other thing uh there was a little fluff video for mortal combat and at the end they teased a grain of sand there's more moral combat coming and then exploded yeah but i guess the idea with that is um hey they're gonna do exactly what everyone predicted

from the end of uh 11 which is we're probably gonna just have a wild universal reset because spoiler alert um fucking fire god lu kang time rewound uh re-universal reset is a pretty hard stop to all canon um i stop stop it but that time everyone went back in and hung out with their younger self so they did the timeline reset and then they did the timelines converge and the embarrassing timeline replaced with the good one and now we've ended the good one so there's where the fuck else are we supposed to go mortal combat is like drowning in like hey did you know mortal combat was good in the 90s and like some of the new characters they made are pretty good but they still can't get close to the good shit they made the 90s it's fucking crazy

like devora i think that's her name the bug lady yeah she's pretty cool they're great and there's a couple really good ones there's some fantastic new ones none of them are fucking raiden or scorpion or sub zero and can't she's fucking right she's cool yeah can't she's all right they kept catching around one or rather they they they kept the legacy but it's just um yeah just look hey man the whole thing went the way it did and at this point it's like fuck it let's just drop them off in in the mortal combat steel ball run universe where we can just we can just start no that's no you're right that's what you they should do let they should go they should go back and change

the timeline again but this time um fucking sub zero's family gets fucking killed and squares for french on scorpion and they they look different whatever you know make god damn it i mean i mean um the fact that there was a movie that was kind of trying to you know retell the story already kind of is like okay they fucked around with a universe movie or whatever movie universe or whatever uh you have to make a game now that makes somewhat sense with what you just did but it can't be the whole time thing again because we already kind of did that but also we have a bunch of favorites so people want to see returning characters therefore what do you what do you know what i mean do you do you have the balls to just go like hard reset and it's all

fucked up in and you okay here's here's i'm gonna i'm gonna here comes a controversial opinion and um mortal combat should give up on having a story they are so fucking trapped by it right you remember when we talked about street fighter and we're like talking about characters that could be in and you're like but aren't they dead and i'm like who gives a fucking shit if the character is too old or dead okay mortal combat is like hey hatchy laughs laughs and gin patchy like oh hey hatchy died i don't care the problem though is that netherrealm is so obsessed with the cinematic tale because they did the best job of it or in nine the first time around it's still it's still the best one it's that there's they're not gonna let that go anytime soon because everyone expects them

to deliver a movie yeah nine was the way the best of those like easy because they covered the games people cared about um no it's just it's gonna be another reset and it'll start twisting things around that's that's what that's that's what we predicted at the end of our story mode and and like it's a way to you know uh continue what you've set up while not being shackled to it while also bending the rules and letting some stupid future characters show up in the in the far past and fire god luke hang can just be a weird light in the sky and we just don't talk about it because it's that fire star over there you know all right i mean look man ed boon's on twitter trolling half of the time oh yeah like ed boon trolling

people is like my favorite part about Mortal Kombat you think you think he's fucking sitting down and thinking twice about what's going on in this you know he's shaking a fucking eight ball and and rolling with whatever it says like she's just going online like does anybody love shoujinko maybe you'll see him soon and like no we won't you fucking lying asshole i just invented that but you could have believed it because it's ed boon style hey there twitter how much would you pay for chronica do you fucking do you want do you want do you want the chronica dlc pack featuring just chronica negative five dollars see because the problem is is that suhau borichou and all those fucking jobbers they have momentum now for being jobbers right no maven momentum and and and uh

daegon and uh fucking reiko reiko and all that shit like they can they can dan hibiki that into being hilarious and terrible i mean borichou is kind of that anyway to some degree they can go back to the dumbest most embarrassing armageddon characters and find a fucking way you know what's going on back then with the like just like 20 duds like just terrible so here's what they did is you know the creative character in street fighter six that's going to be used to populate the world tour they said what if those were all real roster characters as opposed to the fucking freaks over there and we have the actual artists designed assets over here protect them and hide them from the monsters they went nah we can run it we can create as many different ninjas as you need

we can get meat we can get lee may they were running out of colors nee tara i'm so man you remember a ton of these fucking losers they weren't this was this was a prime fucking uh this was a foundational cornerstone of our stupid for established humor from years ago kamidogo you're right it was very important it was very very important striker is the tip of the iceberg man let's take some letters you want to send in the letter send it to castle super beast mail gmail.com that's castle super beast mail gmail.com uh let's see we got one coming in um oh god damn it i was too fucking busy i didn't get to watch the armored core footage i guess what it looks super hot damn it i look super good i knew i fucking forgot something

uh i was i was obviously turbo editing all the street fighter footage and then this morning i had to wake up and go to the program and fucking do that and get back and podcast yeah i completely didn't have time you want me to tell you the armor core footage it looks super fucking hot robot's doing hot shit uh guess what i watched vati's breakdown of it and i agree with his conclusions here's my bro here's what his conclusions were um the speed that the fucking robots are moving in that shit is so fucking fast that the only way it's gonna work is if it has like a soul style lock on which dramatically changes the fucking way armored core works so you can go real fucking fast if you get to have a real lock on like stupid as long as you

can you have a focal point okay and also aiming bosses that have like fucking like wind up attacks like a fucking elden ring bosses okay um all right well i mean look these fires of rubicon sure burn hot um they showed off the robots look cool they look like cool robots so they showed off some gameplay and then uh what and then it's in august uh 20 they dropped a date yeah okay it's this year it's in a couple months it's pretty close actually that's hot steam trailer that is hot steam trailer is the original announcement no gameplay here okay well um yeah um i'm scrolling quickly for a glance at some of this but um and i'm also trying to not blow up the uh uh sound effects on the i mean i'll just show you i'll just send you

the i'm looking at it i'm looking at it i'm looking at it you're looking at it i'm looking at it yeah bamco presents it that's a robot that's a fucking explosion that's a cool ass orbital drop look at him go nice missiles good slash nice dodge cool scanning customization oh those legs are hot oh okay yeah there it is the legs that kind of opened up and did the fucking split thing oh yeah okay i like when the robot parts like i like when the robot parts that are kind of humanoid like stop being humanoid and become extremely robot yeah you know what i mean robot that that that ghost in the shell open up the hands to start typing shit uh that is the hottest because you get all the design aesthetics of of of the bipedal uh humanoid but then you are a

machine doing machine things uh it's also it's also why jay who teased the sexiest machine alive yeah oh yeah no this uh this this is hot this is high speed robot action yeah and another staple of armored core that i i'm under the impression from what i've seen has been like there's always a giant stupid tank full of bullshit standing around that you've got to fight that is a shadow of the colossus battle yeah um it's handle circuses out the wazoo i i do agree that uh there's probably a fucking lock on on this because there's footage of this thing is jetting around super fast and keeping the enemy in the center of frame like it doesn't look like a human's controlling the right analog stick for the camera but the best part about the

super fast jetting around robot is when the camera can barely keep up with its movements to me armored core is the is the the the fucking thing shooting off to the side and the camera's like off fuck ah i yeah that's cool from a visual perspective it's not very fun i don't like wildly overshooting my target over and over i i guess like how good's your aim right like how's that work okay well maybe your problem is that you're not holding the controller upside down with with thumbs on the uh on the triggers that's your maybe that's my problem skill issue uh i'll actually probably play the closest to Sekiro than anything else stop it stop it no why can't it play like armored core except with all the modern juice that we've come

to know and love like you mean like Sekiro yes Sekiro the the armored core game absolutely no i no seriously they've actually described that there is like a posture and stagger system in the i remember the the reveal stuff talking about how like um there would be there are things about it that sounded like oh there would be some soulish influences showing it's their way up into the thing but i mean that is a fucking storied ass franchise uh uh before the the modern i forgot what it what what they call it but there's a there's a button that they they're describing that was like a boost that is specifically like a dash into aggressively attack yeah that's hot that's that's that's fucking yeah let's do it that's hot um but just when you say make it more

Sekiro i didn't say that oh i said i bet it'll probably play the most like Sekiro okay well my soul heard that and i got kind of upset and i don't know why but i did um all right here's one coming in uh from um uh lucas says greetings from canada but a little to the left over in alaska i recently a little bit to the left i recently played signalis and i absolutely loved it however i told a buddy to play it and i neglected to tell him to go in blind so unfortunately he's the type of person who looks up all collectibles to get them in his first playthrough he proceeded to do that for signalis to get the secret ending but he effectively skipped the final boss and he

got a very vague ending to the game resulting in him not liking it that much uh as whereas i and a lot of others did have you ever played a game and regretted not playing it a certain way your first playthrough yeah it's it's um first of all uh but before we get to that topic uh it's not your responsibility to save your friend from his own insanity i that's a really that's a really unfortunate thing i mean the fact that the that ending is as is the vague and bad by comparison contextually uh uh you know informative ending that sucks when i play games i mean offline whatever i'm doing my own thing i don't it's it's for me but like online and when i'm trying to have an lp that'll be like showing off most of what's cool and also you know more or less organic i have to

dance on the thing of getting tips without getting spoilers but i can only do that as somebody who happens to have a lot of people that can be like hey by the way right um there's a great website that i use and others you know we've talked about it before called before i play which will be like hair spoiler free bullet points for any games you're gonna play about what you probably might want to know uh i appreciate that you know with minimal context just to say hey by the way you might miss out on something big here if you do this or that or whatever you know ff9 um if you if uh uh the rat rat if rachel wins the uh tournament you'll get something better than if you just want the money um yada yada but in signalist it's a bad case of that ending is also just not meant for

your first run um and if they look up to the point where they kind of spoil that experience like i i know what you mean about insanity but i know like some people kind of just want to do that anyway i mean you do that sometimes right like occasion but i know when like like i'll start playing a game for a while and actually discover the items and then i'll like have a little list available so i can go back after i've done an area i i don't i don't do the the the guy to walk through anymore in fact the actual answer to the question that i had is like i there's a bunch of games i really wish i was not so worried about fucking beating i would rather have actually hit the ending point where i fucking couldn't continue and was soft locked then play through

them the way that i did by looking up everything and fucking stressing about all that build shit all the time yeah i wish that's my turning point i would have rather gotten stuck see the more i think about it the more it changes from game to game like as much as i want to say overall like this is the right idea to have um the fact that i played through disco elysium and never got the horrific necktie but uh punch mom did and like i learned about all that crazy shit is kind of cool i forgot you never got horrific necktie it's absolutely unhinged but like that's a like i don't mind how unique that playthrough went it reminds me of when we were trading notes on how we all fought the end in snake eater um however if this was mass effect and i didn't

get javik or if like there was no way to interface with the morden story i would flip the fucking table because that's a worse game mass effect is is like the the most frustrating one because i went and i got a giant detailed thing on how to not miss everything and i followed it to the letter and i got to see everything and i'm glad i did and i resent the game for making it so complex to actually see most of its content but the quality of the the playthrough you get out of that experience is vastly drastic depending on what you trip across right the ending signal is that this guy that the friend got here you can't accidentally trip across that uh if you ever happened to then you would just have what would be a shitty experience period but it's not happening i disagree

with the you can do anything and go anywhere when the only changes that'll happen is hey cool you missed it mm-hmm like the only thing that can happen yeah is hey you missed out on something as opposed to you went the other way with it agreed um and i wish more game designs would make it so that it wasn't a uh an if and where you kind of just added extra greatness to an otherwise good story and it became something of there's an appeal to going the other way with it um you know uh uh there's been like there was there was a discussion about kraya recently and kraya is a really interesting character where the things you don't choose uh spell out more about who she is and what she's about in a way that is fucking fascinating you know to like you get you get your experience in your

game and then especially with like restored content and then if you go back and watch all the choices you didn't pick for her you get an even more in-depth like coverage of like her thing so um so all this to say that like it depends on the game but signal is a really bad one to just fall into that because if you did it for like there's a lot of games where if you if you follow that exact process you end up with the perfect ending where you see all the other things and then there's a persona yeah yeah you know you get all the normal things you would have gotten plus a little bit extra for your trouble you know um and you don't want to have to warn your friends by the way don't you know whatever do this for this game so i would say that yes that friends you know

would be better off not doing that for every single game they play however it would be better if signal is his secret ending was better yeah because the others are fantastic um all right here we got one yeah i really wish that i had uh i could have beaten pat a fucking wrath of the righteous like 1.5 times now with the amount of time i've spent in the character creator he's just right like it's fucking frustrating as shit uh not tetris 2 hey killmonger and modoc back in college there was a game that made the rounds called not tetris 2 it was a tetris clone where the tetrominos weren't locked into the grid and everything was physics based one of the

most frustrating games i've ever played but it was hilarious to watch um if you're a tetris fan have you heard of it uh and uh what do you think it's been a thing since 2011 yeah i i feel like i've heard this described and i don't remember playing it but i played something like this that was if it's what i'm thinking of with the 3d tetrominos it's that's the most upsetting video one of the most upsetting video games of all time like just your brain is so unsatisfied with everything you do when it's a physics-based tetris i fucking hate it oh my god i hate this so much it's cursed it is the most cursed shit ever oh this sucks oh no all it does is make you feel bad oh my god yeah yeah uh i saw so i saw the footage of of this not tetris 2

and i saw another game that it was like literally 3d objects like like balancing off of each other and it's just it just fucking throw up it's so ugly good luck clearing a single line fucker offensive is the right word i would describe that as offensive oh man okay duck i remember seeing um a math problem similar to this that apparently math petitions hate and it's like how do you fit the most amount of q squares inside this larger square that already has squares in it and the all these fucking collegiate math nerds end up with the situation of like just jam a bunch of them in the center off center just jagged and fucked you can actually fit an extra square in there than trying to do it the normal way yeah it's just the most upsetting

looking fucking bullshit oh god okay thank you uh so people are saying it's the 17 square conundrum yeah um what i was talking about is called jello tetris which is what it sounds like like and the original idea was based on an xkcd comic which i'm like now that i think about it i'm like right there was one where they're like what if tetris but physics uh anyway i found a screenshot of this fucking thing and it is just disgusting i'll send it to you just so you can get that fucking chest god found by john bidwell in 1997 and that's the most efficient play that's the most efficient way to fit them into the fucking thing just jam fucking seven more in the center and made look all the ugliest fucking thing in the world oh man i mean played a win man damn all

right uh we got one coming in uh from chasm cave who says uh dear tap and elo it's been years since he's touched anything video game related but i thought you might want to know the most recent chapter in the life of one uve bowl to keep it brief uh as i can he's working on a cop movie in new york and after tensions flared up once the crew complained production wasn't up to safety code his producer showed up to a staff meeting strapped with a real not a prop not related to the day's filming gun yeah uh understandably freaked out the staff uh uh obviously aware of the recent alec baldwin incident uh they all were outraged and uh the producer's responses were in this order one it was a prank bro two it was a rubber gun three okay even if it was a real gun it only had

blanks four if you tell anyone will sue you um this was a tip this was a tip point for the originally non-union crew to flip uh and now the production is at a standstill so bowl has been defending the guy funding his movie but audio leaked and shows that he still that uh even he thinks the dude is nuts and there's articles and stories about it that's really funny good times i mean look man shit gets complicated when you're running a multi-year long scheme so that your movies can be as bad as possible so that the german government will recoup all your losses is uve bowl is literally literally the producer over and over and over and over again it has been more money with the flop than a hit etc it has been springtime for hitler in germany

for uve bowl for years now the only difference is they got ben kingsley to sign on to it um amazing well anyways uh that's fantastic that's that's that's great good good stuff all right movie's got to come out and it's got a flop first dude you can't if the movie doesn't get made you're fucked but they can't still that loophole can't still be a thing right like even if it even if it was like how much is germany's not going to recoup the full cost of a movie being shot in new york because the fact that he has an outside uh thunder yeah well there you go that he's and he's filming in new york means that he's probably running a different fucking scam damn remember when he boxed low tax that's like the highlight of his life

that was such a fucking pile of shit shit like it was really fun oh yeah well come in his shit worked come fight me irl bro what did you say you little shit you outweigh me by like 80 pounds and you're an amateur boxer so you'll kick my ass but sure i'll do it yeah yeah yeah all right let's fight says man who at one time was a fighter damn at the same time because quantic dream remains a thing david cage will live forever but uve ball i think that uve ball is already a whisper of the past you know yeah like that was the forefront of video game lulls um for a while solid two decades it's yeah for a little good long ass time damn all right all right stop button have a good week

everybody