Castle Super Beast - CSB331: No Autism Yet!
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Discussion (0)
And so on the
Bhopal.
I'm going to be.
M.
M.
M.
M.
M.
A.
A.
Ha, ha.
A.
A.
A.
A.
A.
A.
A.
Hello.
Good morning or good afternoon, rather, actually.
Hi, good afternoon.
How are you doing?
I'm doing all right.
You're making a grimaced face.
You're making like a, mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
Just I've been making this face for a little bit now.
Let me just be clear.
Uh-huh.
All right, let's see this.
This is gearing up to something.
It's actually not.
let let me be clear i have consumed zero media this week oh zero i have consumed zero media i have
played nothing i have watched nothing i have done nothing i have not looked at a screen
outside of my phone and the one in front of me there is nothing okay is that is anything else
going on? Yeah, I'm still
I'm just, I'm, I'm building
shit. Um, okay,
yeah. I'm, no, no, this is
not my way of saying, holy shit,
she's here. Yeah, no, but that's, that's just the
question every week now. I guess so, but
Hey, buddy, what's, what's going on?
I mean, you'll, you'll hear it.
You know,
uh, but no, um,
um, I, I, I just have not,
I'm not, none of that is happening.
None of the internet, like internet game, like nothing.
um i've um i've been this rule so hard yeah i was like sitting here going like man i didn't do
this week hopefully we'll leave got something to talk about i have looked at zero screens and i mean look
i'm gonna we'll wing it you know we'll figure it out um i've been i've been driving
uh i've been i've been getting that down been trying to figure that part out and getting more
comfortable with it um you know feeling feeling all right about that um there is a definite just
a time to learn on hard mode that comes from living in the city oh yeah and you know how a lot
of people that grow up in like let's say a suburb or a quiet neighborhood sleepy you can
like go out and you know learn how to do this in a parking lot zeller's parking lot
lot on a on a Tuesday
nobody down there that's it go down to the parking lot
and then do some roads and then you're all
fine and stuff and it's just like yeah
here I mean you can go off island essentially
but if you're on island for the most
part you're you're dealing with
agro
fucking shit bags and
wild people swerving you're basically
doing twisted metal until
you're dealing with famous traffic
so I've been so I've been
exiting the
the Montreal Island and going into some of the outside areas to try and ease my way through it,
you know, um, but yeah, I think I'm just, you know, there's, there's these little things that I've
always disliked, I guess, about, I mean, so for the most part, you know, um, we've said many a time,
but like when you live in a city where, you know, you can get around by public transport or,
or Bixie bikes and walking everywhere, because stuff is very interconnected. It's, it's, it's,
very common for a lot of people to not really drive because it becomes an expensive liability
in many cases. But getting it at this point in time a little bit later, there's just,
there's these things where I'm like, oh, I've, there's a part of this that's completely separate
from the logistical reasons that I've disliked for a long time. And, you know, there's cool
stuff about cars. But I, you know, I just didn't have, I think, no one really went like,
Yo, cars, though, when I was younger and got me into that as a particular thing.
I always thought motorcycles were cool.
And my mom was also somebody who was like, no one is allowed anywhere near my steering wheel under any circumstances.
She was just that type of person.
So there was never even any like, hey, let me show you something type of vibe to it.
Yeah, no, they, my, like, in my family, every single time my sister got into a car,
there'd be like some massive kerfuffle because my sister was like four and a half feet tall
and was just jam every single fucking thing to the absolute maximum for tiny people
and then my dad would get in and get stuck
like between the the chair and the wheel
no the annoyance i'm sure the annoyance of just having to recalibrate everything
stopped a lot of people from from you know getting a shot at it um but my mom was just
extra paranoid about anyone driving you know or so
um there was like like one person like my older older step brother who or our half brother who uh was
like a preacher was like the only person that was responsible enough that you would trust type of thing
you know um but anyway because that was jesus driving of course like take the wheel you know no uh but
but really what what this kind of meant though is for me at the very least i've always disliked
how little you can feel of your surroundings because of the size of the vehicle you're in it's an obvious
thing when you've been doing it for a long time and you just know instinctually where things start
and stop. But I genuinely do not enjoy that sort of invisible space you're supposed to kind of
understand about what you're in. And depending on the type of car you're into, like that
becomes extra difficult. I know that it's a matter of time and just getting used to it. But
this is why I've always liked bicycles and motors, even motorcycles as well, because I can tell
where I am in space. Of course, the safety factor is not rolling into this.
but in terms of just like looking around
and you know where you are outside in the environment
and you know
and I would even say like a convertible probably
kind of like makes you feel a little bit
more outside for the situation
but being inside a large thing
where like you're gauging
just how far from the curb you are
in a blind spot to as you
make a wide right is always
just like yeah I don't like that part
of this you know.
I mean I know that newer cars
to certainly have like the little screens that you can fully see the scans and the multi
surrounding cameras around them and stuff. But essentially, yes, I have a giant hurt box and
hit box and it's invisible. But mostly hurt box. It's mostly a hurt box and it's very
unless there's a cyclist. Yeah. And and there always is. It's a hurt and hit box. And I'm,
you know, trying to feel exactly the, the range as I go around the corner here and make sure that I'm
like okay well before you turn there's a bike path but there's also the parked cars and then
then you're getting into that one so like you got to extend down a little bit and ah you know
and i've been i've been actually doing like pretty fine and everything's like weirdly um like
there is a part of this where like the sounds and feeling of being in a passenger for years
plus as much as i get a shit for it video game driving as well like there is a there's a there
is actually a little bit of that to it where you're like, no, you're, you know, round this
corner a certain way and, you know, accelerate here or like do that and pull up at the stop
signs in this way, check and do all these things.
There's an overall thing to this where I'm like, yeah, I, I would have like probably
always hated this aspect of it, even if I learned many, many years ago, you know?
What do you think about driving?
I honestly haven't made as much progress as I'd like because I'm a, I'm kind of a pussy.
I'm kind of terrified to get behind the world.
I got to be honest.
Gotcha.
We're not far that far from each other, though.
I have a, I have a, I have a mental thought process that, uh, the instant I get behind the wheel, uh, and I don't check, uh, my mirror, uh, everyone in my family dies.
Yep, yep, yep.
So, so there's that.
There's the feeling.
There's the feeling of like, you, um,
with the car seat right there
and that's the extra
level of like fucking hey
you're right you get this is
this is a real responsibility
but I suppose
to
you know there's a there's an element
to this where
in my situation
for example
like I'm going to be
you know the one
that's getting her
to the hospital
right so
there's not much to
like there's a direct
mission that needs to be
accomplished on a specific timeline
for a specific range of time
you know and I can kind of look at it
and go all right well
in general getting comfortable and being able
to be someone that can get
you know the kid to soccer practice and all that
like there is a timeline for that
overall general vibe
but in the immediate future
there is a direct one
mission that needs to occur
on a specific path that I need to learn.
So I'm, like, kind of locked in on just that.
And I'm like, I can do that.
I can get the one thing, you know?
So I'll start there.
But yes, it is absolutely a real thing to be like, yeah, the consequences of your decisions are right there.
And you got to fucking find a way to parse that.
Not fun.
What if there was a way, if there was something I could eat or drink that would just make all of my anxiety just go away before I started to learn to try?
Wait, what if?
Ooh, just got to take the edge off.
This is.
Yeah.
This is real a good...
Isn't that safer, really?
This is anxiety-inducing.
Let's just cool it down a little bit, you know?
Get a couple road sodas.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But no, I guess that's sort of, you know, that's going to continue.
And, man, I can't believe...
the fact that they have that video footage of people complaining about drinking and driving and seatbelts being mandatory.
That video is so wild.
I can't speak to the drinking and driving, but my dad was absolutely one of those guys that was like fucking pissed off about seatbelt laws.
He fucking, fucking hated it.
He absolutely would get like low-key pissed off.
off every time he went anywhere with me, my brother, my sister, or my mom.
And every, he would get in and he'd start the car and he'd get a block.
And someone would go, hey, yeah, you should put your seatbelt on.
Oh.
And you, like literally every single time up until like I was like, like 22, he got into the,
the habit of it.
Man.
So there's a, there's a, there's a moment that.
occurs that you know if you don't if you're fortunate enough to avoid getting into like a
horrible accident um and it's the same thing that kind of like as i was talking about oh and he's
been in tons of horrible accidents well fuck um but the part the part that like it's the same thing
that kind of like made me think about more or twice about the the motorcycling thing which is
i love bikes i think they're rat as shit but it you it doesn't matter what your decisions are
it doesn't have to be you.
It just has to be the idiot next to you, right?
Or the wind.
Sure.
But the whole thing being like,
I'm fine on the basis of how much you control of the equation is like your control
over the equation is so much smaller in that pie.
It's minuscule.
Of what causes the accident.
It's so,
your influence is so minor of all things considered, you know?
And,
and,
uh,
well,
Again, the quote is something to the effect of, like, there are tons of dead pedestrians that have had the right of way, right?
Oh, yeah.
And that same kind of attitude where it's just like, you can just be doing everything right and still someone else's absolute, like, madness.
So complete inability to make decisions properly.
Just really helping a lot.
This is doing a lot good for me right now.
Okay, okay.
specifically that that that specific thought process of doing everything right and then you're dead
that's oh man is that exactly what i needed to hear oh that was so good thank you for that you know
i really appreciate it you know there's like my swimming's totally safe except when you go to swim
there are one million sharks in the water that's crazy my pleasure bro i mean you know just
here's spit and facts listen listen all right it's did you
Did you know for a fact that if you don't see how your food is prepared, you don't know what's in it?
Did you know?
Just take comfort in the fact that you have no control over the situation.
And the best you can do is guide it somewhat towards the outcomes you prefer.
But overall, you're on someone else's path.
I mean, that's just what it is, you know?
and every time you get in a plane it's it's you know it's infinitely less likely compared to
car accidents to all right look um i never understood the fear of flying personally um it's it's it's
it's just because of the the height and the feeling of it it's just the complete lack of
control and the like you know when you when you do hear about it so like like this is a
discussion i had with my dad because my dad is like was a professional drug
driver for a long time, right? That's why he hates the seatbelt because he would do deliveries
in Montreal. So if you put your seatbelt on, that's lost time. Right? Um, but like, my dad's been
in a bunch of accidents and one of them he definitely caused on purpose. He wanted to, he wanted to
fucking finish his shift early. And so him and his buddy were like, we're going to, we're going to
fucking plow the delivery truck into a snowbank, but there was a fucking fire hydrant in there and
they totaled it. Um, fucking moron.
right okay um won't get on a plane yeah yeah dangerous no won't do it okay so won't do it so we should
and probably uh you know ought to have been thinking of planes as the same way you think of getting
on a train or a metro like it's you know it's just like this is a set thing you have no control
over it's going and it's probably like statistically overwhelmingly going to be fine except
for fucking Boeing except for recently yeah but um my
dad doesn't like, he doesn't like trains either because he's not driving. You're not driving. When I
point out, dad, you've been in like a bunch of accidents. He's like, yeah, but I could do something
about it. Yeah. But you didn't. No, it's numbers don't matter. You know what I mean? It's, it's also
looking out of a, the, uh, a 50th story balcony, you know, versus being on like a third or fourth
story balcony where it's like they're both certain death but like or not unless but like one is
just extra you know your brain is just feeding all the fear into it um and you know it's it's that
like yeah you're you're in a tube and it's it's fucking propelled and it's going and you know
you see every once in a while one of those news stories where you're like did an emp go off
because that thing just went straight down and oh like that guy and it's
Italy. Or that other one in Philly.
Oh, yeah.
You know. There's some dude in a propeller plane that just like dive bombed a fucking freeway, just straight out.
Christ.
So, you know what? I have, okay, so similar to, um, hey, you know, um, fucking a Mongol Fierre, uh, uh, a hot air balloon.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Right. Would you ever get in one of those?
I've been in one.
Really? You got in one.
Holy shit. Did it go up?
I was like 10 years old.
Oh my God. And was it tethered or like free?
I don't remember.
Because some kind of field trip thing.
I think it was tethered and it just like went straight up.
Because I don't, I have not consumed any hot air balloon media except for just the disasters that occur that I feel like I've seen.
Like the last couple memories I have are just like, oh no.
Oh, it went horribly.
barely moves what are you worried about the ones where the fire goes up and it it plummets down
and it's always at some place that had terrible safety regulations and the disaster is just
nightmarish or the ones where somebody's hanging out the basket because it's too burning hot
inside and they're chancing them the drop you know i gotta i gotta tell you if there's a single
balloon based scenario that i am personally threatened by the most
It is, without a doubt, one million times more over any other balloon-based, like, situation.
Bouncy Castles.
Oh, yeah.
That is new, though.
Bouncy Castles just kill your kids.
I did not, like, there was that one horrible disaster, I want to say, like, maybe five or six years ago.
It was on Australia.
Yep.
And then there was.
Hit by a tiny cyclone is once straight up.
And then there was, like, two.
more right and and then ever since that third like like that first one was like nightmares but
I'm like okay no now all I think about when I see a bouncy castle is just fucking yeah
typhooning into the air death drop so to those of you who are going huh what so here's the thing
a bouncy castle is really light because it's basically just a big balloon but it's also extremely
large and wide so it's basically just a like a square kite which is one
Why, if you get a bouncy castle, they're like, you must stake this to the dirt super hard.
But sometimes some guy forgets a stake or there's just too much wind and it goes.
And it just goes.
Yep, there's just too much wind, you know?
That's been a thing.
I've had...
Like, the disaster in Australia was properly staked down to the ground and it just got hit with a bad gust of wind.
Exactly.
I have properly, like, had, like, you know, rooftop.
kind of umbrella like patio umbrella things set up where it's like no no no there's tons of
counterweight on this thing but it's just a windy day it's like it doesn't matter you know
there's a point where the weather will just take it over even if you've done the I don't
I don't know if the engineering principles of like 200% strength apply to a bouncy castle
necessarily I imagine not but recently I was at an event where there was one
but it was indoors
and I was still looking at it sideways
I was still like I don't fucking know man
these things
these things cannot be trusted
it's horrifying and of course yes
there's the part of it where the people who are on them
are very small people their children in fact
and they're not able to get off that thing in time
nah
that's over with to me
in my brain bouncy castles are super over
I've never been in one
and I'm old now so I'm never going to be in one
now but I'm definitely not going to let the boy in one
like there's a thought
where you'd be like oh but like what if you just
jumped off in time you know and then you see
like the castle that has like the netting
on the side and the big roof
and it's a labyrinth inside you know
I gotta say dude
every single person in the history
of the world that said it's fine
because I'll be able to jump off in time
was wrong
no no see when i when i when i see the problem start to happen i'll have enough time to react right
no right before you hit the ground just jump off and then you'll be like landing off a normal high
a normal jump and then everything else behind you will take the impact i don't know how accurate
this was but i remember seeing like a breakdown of like if you jump right before your elevator
hits all you're likely to do is just shove your your feet up through your ass that like
because you're just you're just you're turning like a flat fall into like a pointed fall sure
or smash your head against the roof higher you know yeah trying to time that shit yeah if
only physics worked that way um you know you could always just sit in seat 11a right that was
the one seat that survived that that played crash recently yeah but it can't always be the same
seat, right? Well, no, but then I...
That would be highly suspicious. But no, but that's the one we're all
thinking about now. And prior to that
recent one, I was always thinking about
that one from Jojo Part 6
because there's that one
there's that they bring up
the plane underground and there's one
seat that's the seat that Jolene's got to get
to, and I've been thinking about that seat
but then, hey, if you're listening to this
on a flight right now, I really apologize. This sucks.
This is bad listening.
No, you're fine.
Just don't look at the thing on the
wing.
You ever, are you a window open for comfort?
Oh, absolutely.
Okay.
100%.
Because they, I think they, it's cool to look out.
It is.
It is.
And it actually helps you feel better and grounds you when turns are happening and stuff.
I feel like that's, that's a better thing.
But there are some people who are not.
And like, that's big fights, you know.
Yeah, pages of window closed.
Yeah.
Kind of person.
I don't, like, I don't want to know.
I just want to feel the sensations.
I'm like, no, man, no.
If I can see the horizon shift wildly.
while a turn is happening, I'm like, I feel totally fine with that.
But when you can't see it...
I don't mind it either way.
Like, I actually find, like, takeoff and landing, like, really relaxing.
Like...
Hmm.
Just like, well, because, like, pilots probably know what they're doing, right?
Yeah.
That seems like an important job.
Yeah, but...
They're doing less and less.
Like, I'll be, like...
Like, so if...
If I'm really nervous about, like, you know, if I had to go to the hospital, right?
but if once I'm in the room and a doctor has like looked me in my eyes I know they got this
yeah not too worried about it you've right yeah but everything before that that's under my control
like well what if I trip and die in the waiting room that would be really embarrassing you've also
it could happen sounds like you've never had a really bad take off at wind or had one of those
um like when i was a kid and i remember like flying to and from grenada uh alone or with my brother
at least we were kids doing them doing it uh like massive ear popping pressure cabin shit you know
that just made the whole process suck you know that that that no that's not fun i mean that's
unpleasant but i don't find it like scary also in my mind if i'm playing crashes it's
just going to touch the ground and just explode and I'll die instantly.
But those are the...
But it's only tack happening during takeoff and landing.
Like, it's almost never happening mid-flight, right?
That's the other bit.
Yeah.
Yeah. Whatever.
All right.
All right.
Anyways, transportation and how much control we have over it.
My preferred amount, zero.
But here we go.
That's also my preferred amount.
Hey.
My fucking feet.
Life finds a way.
Life it does find a way.
um oh but yeah no um that's that's that's like i said that's pretty much been it i've just been doing that
stuff um looking into some of these devices because there's all kinds of you know machines and
tech and things that have lights and bells whistles make noises fucking like are you at the
parts of looking at baby stuff and you're like wow this one looks really good let me check the
recalled. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or getting the paper note about that. Oh, cool. Oh, sick. Good. Good, great. Or, you know, even just the stuff where it's like, oh, this, like, puts out a sound that, like, simulates being in the womb. And you're like, ooh, does that what that sounds like?
Not a big fan of the womb white noise. Yeah, that's a, some, then you get, some friends are swearing by it. You know, I'm like, let's look into some. Oh, babies love that shit. I just like, I'm not a big fan.
I've been out for too long
I just
the one thing I'm concerned about is just like any
of these like things that are really like
help or aid sleep aids and things
like that I'm just like as long I don't
want it to become a dependency
where it's like you need this optimal
perfect quiet comfort solution
as opposed to just
you know fucking sleeping on the
on the dirt floor of the
forest
no
babies typically did not sleep
on the dirt floor of the forest. No, no. But as a, you know, as a person who can sleep under all
conditions, I'm glad that I have that ability. But no, realistically, I'm just thinking of the
anecdotes of like, there's two kids of friends and family have had recently. And one of them
has been raised and has been sleeping on their own in a big, large, empty library style room
that's perfectly quiet at all times. And the sound of someone coughing or laughing
a couple rooms away and the baby's up versus...
You can overdo that in the other direction, by the way.
You can actually make babies that can't fall asleep
unless there's a significant amount of ambient noise.
So that's, yeah, we don't want that.
That's crazy.
But I do have another one.
I think I've mentioned before a cousin
who just passes out in a room full of people yapping.
And I'm like, that's great.
That's super cool.
That kid can fucking adapt, you know?
Right now, we're at the...
We're not at the baby stage of going to sleep.
Right now, we're at what I would call the demand stage.
of going to sleep.
What's that?
Dad, da, mama,
this is a paraphrase.
You're going to read these fucking books,
and if you do not read me these fucking books
in the right order.
I'm just not going to fall asleep, bitch.
Yeah.
A friend was telling us about,
like, they recently broke the contract,
which was one book,
And then a bonus book sometimes, but they made a no three rule.
And then they did it once, and now it has to be three every time.
Oh, that's, that's, uh, fucked it.
You brought in the third and now there's no going back.
You got to read three books.
Me and Paige have a system where we each grab a book.
He'll be like, I want feelings or I want Prince of the Night or I want Pete the Cat
or uh or uh fuck what's the other one
those are the ones that are or good night moon
no goodnight goon it's the it's the Halloween version
I know
it's about ghosts and monsters and Frankenstines and shit
that's unfortunate um
and we got him a new one called pig the pug
which is about an evil pug that steals all of his
other all the dog toys
and he points at it and goes
Caboose it's awesome
Okay
But what a piece
Yeah so me and Paige will go like
Okay which ones you want
And he'll like list off a bunch of them
And then oh good night bear
That's the one I don't know how I forgot that one
I read it damn near every single day
And like I'll read one
And then mom will read one
Or mom will read one
And then dad'll read one
And then as the second person is finishing up
the first person
will start hitting lights.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then as soon as that book closes,
all lights off, okay, it's time to go to sleep now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, you cannot, you cannot entice a deal
for a third.
I can see that negotiation going very poorly forever.
Yeah.
Like, the moment you finish the third book,
it's like, eyes glow red, the contract has been sealed.
The real terror, the terror that has only started to happen in the past couple of weeks is the word again.
Oh, as in do it again?
Which isn't just do it again.
And that's not a danger at night.
That's a danger in the middle of day.
Oh, yeah, no, because everything is new for kids.
There's nothing that's old.
Nothing gets tired.
Everything's fresh.
Like the same thing can be enjoyed infinitely.
for years, because it's all new the whole time.
Oh, boy, that's a dangerous word.
It's just as good right in a row.
I think Paige read him pig the pug five times in a row yesterday.
It took like 25 minutes.
Oh, that's a dangerous word.
And then eventually, like, she looks over at me and she hits me with like,
Dadda wants to read it.
And I'm like, I sure do.
I sure do.
again too bad
okay
oh he's the best kid
oh man we just went through like a milestone or some shit
because like
we went from like four word sentences
to six word sentences and prepositions
in the course of like a couple of days
everything's a jump
every day the little drunk man
that lives in my house is slightly more sober
but but but as as concepts are being introduced again danger is coming to the situation control over
his realm is being exerted okay okay um yeah uh there's another world here that like it's the best
there's another world here that i'm kind of delving into but like um i'm generally prefer for the
most part to, you know, get the things we need in advance and plan out for what, what, you know,
what, anticipate what the needs are going to be.
But there's some stuff that some, some, I mean, best laid plans, right?
Of course.
But there's some stuff where some recent, uh, friends and family and folks who've had kids of
their own have been able to like, you know, share stuff they're not using anymore and be like,
here you go.
Here's a thing that you could use and stuff like that.
It's like, oh, cool.
Thank you so much.
That's been really, uh, nice and handy for, for baby clothes are a racket, man.
There's a lot.
There's a whole thing.
The younger they are, the bigger, the racket.
So there's a lot of temporary shit that, like, you know, it makes sense that that gets passed on and such.
Sometimes, though, you get kind of, when you're, when some of the things you inherit, you get kind of locked into that brand and its compatibilities.
And at that point, then you're not necessarily going out to get a new thing that you need, but you're kind of having to look for things that already exist for what you have.
And that means potentially diving into the Facebook marketplace.
oh yeah and i don't know how much of that has been uh an experience yeah we we've done
we've done a little bit okay not not a fan and then every now and then you run into like
like i i don't even feel safe picking this fucking shit yeah that i don't feel safe looking at
this crap just not a fan you know um and playing the games of communication to begin with
you know and and you feel like you're like trying to date somebody back in the day like getting left
on red you know like you uh is the price though are you waiting for a negotiation and the what
where are we meeting under what circumstances and did you include all the pieces and then you get
what you get and then you're like can i dip this in acid is acid safe for children is their baby
safe acid to disinfect everything with my favorite
version of this is like, okay, okay, so how much is it? It's this. Okay, cool. Um, when can we pick
it up? Hello? Yep. Yep. Yep. Hello? What? We just agreed to the price and the thing.
Yep. Why won't you get back? Don't you want to sell it? Because 15 other people are sending the
exact same message and the exact same. It's just Tinder, dude. It's just you going, hey.
being like, yeah, everyone else said, hey, what else you got?
They're like, uh, uh, in the photo,
it looked like you were vacationing somewhere cool.
Like, oh, God damn it, dude.
I can't.
I'm out of this.
Like, I can't be pulled back, you know, into this, this trying to say the right thing.
You're using social media for purchasing.
It's just a fucking nightmare.
It's the worst.
Sometimes you get a great deal because you run into like a human person.
Yeah.
That's like a normal guy.
That's nice.
That's nice.
They're totally chill.
Yeah.
No,
that is nice.
One time.
And that's the trick because that's like, oh, wow, that was like a really positive experience.
And we got a first deal.
Let's do that again.
Okay.
So.
Shouldn't have done it again.
So like in one particular instance, I'm going to just be real.
there was like a snoo fret new in the box
and I was like
okay fuck it I want that
that's we use that
yeah we recommend that if you can
it's pricey but you can rent it
it's less pricey if you rent it
and like holy shit that thing's crazy
yeah and I was like no no no I want to get what
and looking through trying to get it other ways
and some of the other stuff I just
there's some stuff that's annoying to difficult to do
hard to deal with whatever but essentially just a you know
sleeper bassinet for your kid
and saw one of those and I was like
It rocks the baby when they get mad.
Great.
It's very,
awesome.
Very advanced.
The hoops and hurdles to jump through for the rental or second hand process and such were full of treacherous pitfalls,
some of which included subscription services that you needed that, or like a stolen snoo,
it locks when you plug it in because the service knows that this is a stolen one.
And then it, like, it doesn't use the services anymore because it's a whole, it's crazy.
It's fucking crazy out here in these streets
So but there was one that was fresh in the box
And I was like yeah okay done run it
And you know didn't hear much
And then they said hey I'll take that
We're ready to go right away as ASAP as soon as you can
Hello hello
Yeah hello and then
I will I will
If we can get this today
ASAP I will pay extra
Yeah I will pay this much extra
Hey, we can pick it up
today. We're here. We're home. We're right here.
You can come get it any time. Sounds great.
Thank you.
And I'm like,
I can't, by the way, this is tangential.
I cannot recommend the snoo enough
if that's something within your range.
And like, here's the thing.
You are going to like the weaning off the snoo
when they're a little bigger, right?
Yeah, moving to a bed that doesn't move
and soothe them automatically. Yeah, no,
there's a weaning process for that.
but I and Paige, we were like, yes, we would like to go through baby his having trouble sleeping at six, seven, eight months instead of zero.
Because that zero month period, that's the most stressful part.
Anticipating.
I just, as you're looking into it, you're like, yeah, that all works and does its thing.
And that's why this company is like, hey, you need a license for that sleep.
you got a license for that nap
you know you got a fucking
the whole the whole thing is
is just I don't
want to deal with the
the amount of people talking online
about like getting one second hand
or renting it and then
it not having its features working
or requiring some extra bullshit or whatever
and I'm just like yeah fuck it just fresh
in the box I think this is
part of like a larger thing that starts
to happen as you have children
which is that you
you so willie you you're you're uh you're you're a nerd slash geek slash fighting game guy
slash content creator you know these are all the hats that you wear right humongous dork
unforgivable by having by having children you are more or less forced to reintegrate
with the parts of society that you left behind long ago and and are reminded that oh yeah
Yeah, no, there's like a million different types of people that I don't want to ever have to deal with ever in my life, but I'm going to have to deal with them now.
You know, to me, I knew this day was coming. I've been preparing for it.
You know, I can, I can put on that hat. I can, I can style shift into just, you know, oh, you, you know, old dad, you know, new dad energy and just put on that.
Well, that's, that's where you like, that's where you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.
in judgment.
It's like, man,
get a load of these kids.
Right, right. Well, that's the bit, right.
Currently, we're not in that.
Those parents must be dog shit. Holy fuck.
So we're not in that situation just yet, but there are, you know,
there are some folks, some, again, other people in the same situation that we're starting
to meet.
And I can be like, oh, yeah, there's some future tea to spill.
You know, there's some future judgment coming.
with some of these
neighborhood moms
Mm-hmm
Mm-hmm
Oh
I mean I bet you I know what's coming right now
Because I because I
Because I told
Yo!
Again!
Woo!
I told Punch Mom about that one
And we lost our shit.
Yup
So just
And you
We're gonna, that's
for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. So there's all kinds of just, you're, there's some judgment to be put
on some, some people out there, some parents out there. There's some, some real righteous judgment
you can carry out on some motherfuckers as you look around you. And if you can bond with other parents
while judging that one, oh, it's, it feels super good. That would be sick. Oh, it feels really,
really good i think i look back on like i look back on like my mom telling me something that
was supposed to be like pro social and pro kindness which is me being like 10 years old and
seeing like eric's mom just completely lose her fucking mind in a zellers and just scream at him
you know like when you saw that shit happen right and me going that seems horrible
that lady seems really awful and a family like for me it was my mom but like a family member would materialize near you just tell you now listen you don't know what's going on with them you don't know what their family like you can't judge you don't have kids of your own now take your pick do you want the simps version of this where Gavin is complaining about bone storm yeah or did that parent go wrong or do you want the boondocks version where grandpa reaches for the bone storm?
belt. Don't do that. Don't reach for the bell.
And then I look back and now I have I have like a fucking two year old now and I can like mentally
catalog like all the really crazy ones I saw through my life. I'm like no, no, I was right. I was like
eight years old and I had it locked in. No, that was a bunch of fucked up stupid shit. That was
nonsense. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Man like there's like that boondock scene I just mentioned like
you can't you just you can't there's nothing to talk about but the energy that it represents
does come from a particular thing in your childhood or my childhood where I'm like I get it I get it I get what this scene is trying to convey it's fucked you can't do it it's a horrible idea there's infinite studies that say it's just the worst
thing. But I get
what they're going for.
Anyway,
anyway, yeah, I, you know,
there's, there's no
way to just be like,
everyone in my family, we all
got our licks. We all got our licks
and we're like, yeah, no, that's what it is. And I can
tell it now with this tone of voice.
And, but, but of course,
not everyone got their licks, right?
Again, I, I,
kid down the street,
uh, that didn't get licks. He got the one
boot. And you're like, oh,
that that's not the same thing
you know so
nope don't chance it don't do it
no that's very different
and even if and but still
don't you can't go in that direction in any way
shape or form there's a million studies
that say that it's a terrible idea
but I just I get
that that scene you know
anyway
I was gonna say
there's a thing here as well
when talking about the
Facebook marketplace bit
where you're like you know specifically stuff
of a certain age range
is likely to be covered
in all kinds
of horror. And
your own babies
is the cleanest
most, it's from you,
it's from you and your baby. It's the most, it's like
whatever, who cares? It's gross.
Absolutely. But whatever, who cares? But the
remote idea of it coming
from anywhere
outside the premises is
so nightmarish.
But I'm like, I just,
that's the thing, right?
It's just like I, how much is it worth saving over the idea of just contamination, you know?
What is that worth?
What is the monetary value of permanent contamination, Pat?
It's significant.
Right?
Like, if I'm going to grab something that's like used, like, you know, we'll go down and we'll, we'll,
We'll grab, uh, you know, some hand me, you know, some, uh, some hand me down clothes, like at a community center, right? And then when our guy grows out of his clothes, we'll drop his clothes off at the community center, right? Um, and, but you bring them home and then you, they're like, we wash them. I'm like, that's cool. We're gonna wash them. We're gonna wash the fuck out of them. Um, but that shit's free. Mm-hmm. Right. And like, particularly in the really early one, like, dude, that,
This kid wore some outfits for, like, literally, literally a week.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Like, like.
But how much damage can be done?
So you get the brand-new good stuff for the photo you said in a grandma that says daddy's little best guy on it or whatever, right?
And immediately putting it on and coming out of the outfit, blowouts, blowouts, just going in all directions.
And I'm like, I just, I know.
sometimes not my child
my child would never do that but
sometimes
you just gotta
like it's
just give up on the scenario
and be like everything within five feet of me
just needs to be thrown away other than the baby
the baby can stay mm-hmm mm-hmm right
but this this all just the thing is that
all of this stems from you know
inheriting something someone's very generous
kind of hands you and locks you into the aftermarket as opposed to just being like,
I'll take just, I'm just going to get it fresh and I'll just not have to think about this part of it.
Yeah, like one of the things that it's like I'm well aware it's safe, right?
And I'm well aware as long as you check the the dates and you test it and all that shit.
You could totally buy a used car seat.
I could never handle having my kid in a used car seat.
I would be absolutely convinced that they actually totaled the car when I wasn't looking.
And the car seat is like barely holding together internally.
I mean, so fortunately, you can take it to, it used to be a fire station,
but there's like people that can verify and look at it and be like, yeah, this is certified.
Yeah, they might be on the take.
They might be in the pocket of big car seat.
Okay, well.
I don't know that.
The certification person we went to go see was quite nice and did examine and see that, like,
oh, the date says you're good to go. There's an expiration on them and, you know, we were fine.
But ultimately, yeah, that is a thought. I'm more so thinking about the parts where it's like this, this, you know, stroller or bassinet or whatever is lay flat and part of what you're supposed to do is, you know, if you could, if, if, if let's say all the poop is going one direction, you're like, okay, well, I know which side that's,
on but rotating the baby is an important part of making sure that they sleep properly and their
head doesn't have any issues and that everything's yeah you know so that means at some point
that where the danger zone happened becomes where the head is going to be and oh you just you just
really need to tilt their head over you don't have to fully 180 the whole guy we were told to
180 the whole guy oh really so yeah but in any case you know
know also for like changing what you're looking at in certain situations and everything so you know
I'm kind of just as somebody who was very recently a brand new dad and also more incompetent now than
you've ever been in your entire life um I hear a lot of I think you've mentioned it three times
I've heard some poop planning ideas you're going to want to just completely
completely give up on that.
Please, please understand.
The poop I've been referring to over the last 10 minutes is exclusively the poop from the
previous children that owned the thing.
It has nothing to do with the poop that is forthcoming from within, from our own kid.
That is safe poop.
That's green poop.
I have no issues with that poop whatsoever.
I'm going to tell you right now that is not safe poop.
Okay, it's not safe poop, but nonetheless, it's poop that must be dealt with.
There's just no way around it.
You know what's a fun thing I didn't know about until it happens?
happen and I'm going to tell you right now
one of the vaccines
makes your baby's poop
dangerous to handle
the
the fucking uh what which one is it
it's around six months
oh um um um
um
are not RSA
um
it's the it's a gastro something
uh
the
god I want to say MSV or RSV
I forget which one it is
But, like, they'll give them the shot.
Okay.
And they're like, by the way, if this poop touches you in any serious way, you will get sick.
You will get, you'll get, like, very ill.
I don't like.
Rode virus.
I think that's what it was.
Okay.
And so there's like a, there's like a three or four day period in which changing the baby went from Hope I don't get poop on me.
to ah shit careful careful careful careful careful well there's an easy way to avoid all these
situations isn't there that's right be careful uh fuck yeah yeah even i gotta say man you know what
you you know what my local uh so we go down to the the vaccine place to shoot a
up with his stuff and you know what joke I went with every single time and no one liked it
but me no one thought it was funny but me and I did it every time and they would go over the
vaccine schedule and they would be like are you sure you want to get these and I'd go like no
autism yet so yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and like page would just like they're not
fucking they're not gonna like God shut up
not going to like that. Patrick.
Yeah.
They don't. Yeah.
They, like, because they don't, they can't tell it but for real or not?
No. You can't. And that's the. And that's the problem. Because I've noticed in the talking
about it from the healthcare professionals, they don't know where you're at. So they're just
taking their chances to deliver things in a way that is as like, are you fucking nuts?
So are we cool? I don't know.
So yes.
Oh, fuck.
Absolutely.
And every time, like, I would think it was really funny, and then everyone would be mad at me, and then I would think it was so much funnier.
God damn it.
God damn it.
Including, and, and, you know, much less, like, one, we don't know if you're, where you're at, and then there's a second part where it's like, um, also the way the immune system works is the more you load up in one shot, the stronger and more robust.
bust the the the effects are so waiting for subsequent shots is actually worse compared to just
fucking getting oh absolutely so our guy was like an absolute champ with all his vaccines
there was only one day that he felt like like genuinely unwell and it was like a double day
it's one of the ones where uh and man this sucks because you're like oh this is like really good
for my little guy and it's going to be like good for him in the long run but there's
the moment where they're like, okay, dad, hold both his arms to his sides as hard as you can
so that he can't squirm while both nurses jab both arms. Yeah, that's it. Just no,
bane it up, you know, 100%. And it's like, oh, man, this feels really bad in my chest,
but it's good for him. You see those videos where it's like, here's this doctor in China that's
really good at being like, oh, we're playing a game. Look at my hands. Here you thought. Hey, whoa.
Oh, you didn't even see the shot that happened.
Wasn't that crazy?
And the kids like, huh?
What happened?
Like, cool.
Yeah.
Now try that again while you're landing Acky's level three.
My magnumophis.
You know, like, it's just not going to work at that level, man.
Anyway.
Oh, right, right.
Page just reminded me relatively early, but he was like, he was walking.
um the lady gave him his shot and he he got down and then he ran away from her and then he
ran to page and they like grabbed her hand and then look back at the lady and went no
oh uh just you just got to think about the insides getting stronger you know that's it
just just go on a little osmosis jones adventure or um oh see i don't i don't think about that at all
for me it's like really really really really easy see we live in british columbia right and i love living
in british columbia uh but british columbia has a higher proportion of people that i have met
that believe that the crystals are going to do just fine um and you're like what and like oh the crystals
and i'm like oh okay yeah blast this kid with everything you got doc just give them everything
It'll suck, but then it'll be great.
You know, that's just the way it is.
My kid's not going fucking deaf from the measles.
Thank you, you fucking freaks.
Yeah, I mean, anyway, I don't even know if the word crunchy applies to that range of it,
because then you're just getting into, like, full-od woo.
I love the term woo-woo.
I love it.
Woo-woo.
Yeah.
That's what I knew before Crunchy, and now I kind of distinguished them because Crunchy does
evoke the idea of granola.
You know, a crunchy mom is very much about the healthy things.
But the woo-woo is like the spirits coming down from the smoke, you know.
It's like, we're going into another realm entirely.
Anyway, that's a whole other bit.
Um, the, uh, uh, uh, I, I don't know if I, I brought it up beforehand, but like, part of the reason why that perpetuates in a lot of cases, too, is because from learning about like the, the childbirth process, right?
There's, um, did you know the babies come out of that thing? That's fucking crazy. It's why. Anyway, um, part of the,
Right out the belly button.
Part of that process has a lot to do with the oxytocin your feeling
versus the anxiety you're feeling and the process speeding up with good vibes
and the process slowing down with bad vibes overall.
That's right.
And if you're somebody who gets good vibes from holding a crystal,
then there are some circumstances where telling somebody to hold a crystal will actually improve
Dude, this is like our magical birth journey experience.
And it's like, God, fucking, fucking, damn it.
God fucking, damn it.
Because you get calmed down by the rakey energy, it's actually beneficial to bring the rakey
energy into the roof.
And it's like, oh, I hate this so much, but fine, it is what it is.
Good vibes only actually applies during pregnancy.
Crazy.
Yeah, and I'm like, I'm like, this makes me upset that the world works.
this way. I'm upset at reality for giving you a moment of validation here, but so be it,
it actually does. You know, that, that placebo shit, man, is real.
Placebo's good. I like placebo. Especially when I'm being placeboed. I hate placebo when I'm not
being placebo. Ah, when you're on the outside group. That's the tough one, right? When you're not in the
control group.
uh this reminds me uh basically uh page will be you know hanging out with some moms and they'll all be talking about their like all natural mystical birth experiences and she'll be like oh they gave me so much fentanyl yeah yeah i was i was fucking flying and they cut that shit out oh yeah yeah i just like who needs some crystals i just saw she just said give me some fucking drugs i'll ship this baby out it was saying yeah it was saying yeah it was saying
no that's that's that shit like hook me up to the machine from prometheus and just let it go let the machines do their work
the most artificial shit ever you know um getting the epidural was very obviously a really rough time
for my darling wife having the epidural was a great time like not like it made it easier i mean like great
great time with the epidural.
I mean,
that list of ingredients that gets used,
you know,
during labor of things that are helpful
includes some shit.
I was like,
huh,
word.
Yeah.
Straight fit.
And then you have the discussion
where it's like,
well,
you know,
will it affect the baby?
And they're like,
no,
no, no,
blast it.
Way too late for that.
Go for it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's coming out way too quick.
Go, go, go.
you're like damn it's like that yeah yeah yeah absolutely you know um as opposed to just
fucking um yeah whatever i i i have been yeah you're i i can see you scrolling through your
rolodex of nonsense to pick one out at random the one the most recent one i heard was
tick talk lady with twins who decided to go into the river and deluxe
liver alone with no help from anyone.
Yeah, that turned out exactly as you can expect it turned out, right?
Yeah, I bet, I bet.
But hey, I'm, your hope your feelings are intact and justified from the, I can't.
Okay.
I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.
So, um, so.
Under the jail, man. Under the jail. I don't know. I just.
I'm, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go slightly
I'm getting explicit
permission to talk about this
on the podcast but
Paige and I know somebody
who is
way overdue
way overdue
like
crazy
crazy overdue
okay
the furthest overdue I've ever heard
of anyone in my life
okay so and Paige
about 20 minutes ago when I
screamed it was because the number
appeared in the in the chat and page looks at me and goes where do you where do you think that person
is right now and I go you know what I don't know but I don't know anything about this situation
at all I'm just gonna I'm just gonna throw down in a dirty river sure enough here comes the
Instagram post
A miracle of life
and shit in like a dirty
ass fucking unsupervised
River
And we're
Oh my God
It, it
You just, I hate
I hate you so much
You just
Oh man
Woolley, no here's here's
Hey you're you're fucking
Your attempt to control reality
Listen no wait wait hold it hold it
Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. This is important.
It is not you or I's place to judge how a pregnant lady handles her pregnancy.
It is our jobs to relate this story to our spouses and feed off their judgment.
and just just
I knew it.
There is a very large threshold
and through the process of learning about everything
I've even increased it further
as to the plethora of ways that it's like
whoever has to deliver
in the way that they feel the most comfortable
whatever works for them.
Absolutely.
because holy shit that thing is that's a crazy process and you go there's so much going on
that we on the outside can't possibly relate to or even begin to fucking comprehend at the
point when the medical team is screaming at you yeah but you don't care because you just want
reality to be the thing that it's not but you hope it is and everyone's life is in danger
fucking hate you
hate you forever
you're the worst
I can't possibly
I can't stand in your presence
and not freak out
the entire time
you sound
like some kind of
stupid bitch
who got tricked
into drinking
fluoride
and getting brain damaged
oh man
you dumb idiot
you know
if only there wasn't
like
I can't listen
to this fluoridated
nonsense
If only it was just, like, self-inflicted and there was no, like, baby attached to this scenario, you know, if only if it was just a classic case of just you doing it to yourself, you know?
Like, one of the things is like, you know, like, well, you'll take measles, right?
So if my baby's vaccinated, uh, and I think he's got the measles shower, that might be a little later.
But regardless, I'm going to get him everything, right?
And he could still, even with the vaccine, you could still catch it, but having the vaccine, like, dramatically decreases the like,
likelihood of him getting any ill effects, right?
They just get sick instead of going fucking deaf or having, you know, long-term problems, right?
But like, you could still fucking catch measles because your dumb fucking bullshit wouldn't
vaccinate your kid against the fucking measles.
And I want to just shake this person and be like, your kid could go fucking death.
Do you not give a shit about that?
But you see, and this is where, you know, like, no, because.
The decision, like, there's a moment where you kind of go like, oh, when when you're faced with the wall of your decisions, the weight of your decisions, there might be a moment where you snap out for a second, right? Perhaps there's a possibility. And it's like, no, because the previously mentioned TikTok twins mom, no longer a mom, was basically, you know, already on her poetic journey about the brief, you know, meeting of life.
and how quickly it fleets and going into the spiritual whatever
as opposed to the responsibility of the thing that you have caused
and like you've already found the way to flower out
the fact that you did this you created this outcome
instead of acknowledging what actually happened there it like just wasn't
it wasn't in god's plan or the spirits or whatever you
you blew right past the red light where you were supposed to stop and take
reflection of what you just did i don't i know you
you haven't played this game.
Every time vaccines come up on my show when I'm streaming, I play this game.
It's funny every time.
Okay, you ready?
You ready?
We can play it right now because we have a live chat, right?
Okay, chat, get ready.
This is going to be really good.
Okay, how many of you didn't get any vaccines because your dad didn't want you to catch autism?
And you still got the tism anyway.
Come on.
Come on.
Every time.
There it is.
that's a thing
oh you have shingles now dude oh that sucks
oh there's two there's three
oh we got people that grew up
oh man
that sucks
yeah okay
no shot literally
Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
that's depressing.
Okay, cool.
Cool, cool, cool.
Yeah.
Yep.
So anyways, you know, maybe it's the delivery.
Maybe the way you say no autism yet.
Maybe you got to just find a way to like, ah, ah, do the little like, uh, that's it, right?
You do the little, do the little elbow, and then they'll get, then they'll get what you're,
what you're trying to put down.
Well, see, no, now I can't do it anymore because the next shot the kid's going to get.
he's going to be like a fully talking like aware four-year-old and he's going to be like what
I'm going to be like uh nothing don't worry about it right like we're already in the in the repeats
every single thing we say stage so like bravery and fun times are getting I'm just getting
a little old you know just dial back a little bit yeah yeah good luck creating the the fucking
drawing that line in the sand where it's like hey like you can it's chill with us but with the
outside no no no listen listen dad only says those things at work yeah okay all right all right
it's cool yeah don't worry about no problem no problem it's fine um anyways anyways uh beyond that
uh i suppose hey look at that we we we actually with zero media consumed we did it that's crazy
incredible well you know what willie depending on how you think about it pretty soon you're
going to be consuming the best movie ever for the rest of your life yes called being a dad
oh oh um no but coming in here going fully like i don't fucking know i was like let's stretch
this shit and we successfully did it's a really long movie with no intermissions though that's the
only issue you can there's an intermission wherever you want it to be
You can
Based on
Based on my timeline, based on my history
Based on my past, you can take an intermission at any time back
Oh no, I don't think that's, I don't think that's how the movie's supposed to go.
Oh yeah, no, you can come back for part two.
No, it's my first day.
Way later.
Woo!
Oh boy.
Mm-hmm.
let's all go to the lobby to get ourselves a snack
In some delicious cigarettes in this lobby
In Jamaica
Do da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da do la so so so so that aside
The only other thing wanted to mention is
Hey in the meantime it's a great time on the channel
To put out some best ofs
So the best.
Oh yeah it would be yeah
The best of Silent Hill just dropped
Go check that out shout out to sieve Sarcast
We're putting that together
Nice little journey through my first time playing through it.
The Gaha play through as well as tomorrow will be premiering Silent Hill 3.
So the best of Silent Hill 3 is coming out there.
God fears Japanese steel.
Tune in for that as well.
I like that Silent Hill has just enough stupid shit in it that that can totally be canon.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And yeah, I'm going to be seeing if we can get other best ofs done in the gap in the meantime as well, because, you know, we got most stuff done, but there's a couple that haven't, and it'd be a perfect time for y'all to catch back up on some of those.
So keep your heads, eyes peeled for that.
And I'm going to take this opportunity to promote as well on August 1st, which is Friday.
is when the little wools in the lab plushy.
Oh, yeah, I got my email.
I got my email confirmation.
So I'll put a link, but basically over on makeship,
um, yeah, it's makeship.com slash products slash wolves dash in dash the dash lab.
So if you want to get in there, um, and I think it's going to be a limited run as well.
so like, you know, get it, get it while I'm talking about it now while you hear about it,
because, you know, these things are limited for how often.
They'll be available.
And once we pass that threshold, I think it takes another threshold before we can do any kind of re-ups or sort.
So just letting y'all know, as a Friday, that's going to be up.
I'll post it everywhere.
But it's a really cool one.
The Little Arcade Stick is fun.
I can't wait for Tiny Woolly to be on my show literally every single day.
There you go.
and and the yeah little little little wireless arcade stick as well you can you can fucking
throw that's adorable you can throw and it won't break so um that's you should give one of those
to Sanford Kelly I mean it would be ideal you know or perhaps go back in time and give one to
Gutex you know yeah I don't I don't think no that's good you'll listen to the earlier part
There's a lot of people.
There's a lot of people that can benefit from a plushy stick, you know?
Maybe that's what Sony should be releasing instead of this new one they're just putting out.
In any case, that'll pretty much be it.
And yeah, I mentioned it earlier, but the French word for hot air balloon is Mongol Fierre.
Isn't that fucking goofy?
What?
Isn't that some pomp le mousse type shit?
What?
no type the word mon golfier into google oh okay and take a look at what it's what the images
turn into that's dumb yeah it's it's on some pamplemu shit the golf mountain that doesn't make
any sense omelette du frommage um i was just a silly language i read it as like fiery mongol
you know but or fierce well that doesn't make any sense though to be fair it makes
just as little sense as
like potatoes and
ground beef being called patetianua
my French Canadian grandmother
Well the problem is that that actually
makes way too much sense for the context
it was used in and that's the problem
Oh yeah? Oh I didn't know that
Yeah it was used when
You know
Some folks that were working on the rails over here
That were being
Treated not too kindly
We're being fed
Shepard's Pie
What? That's
crazy. But they were, but they, uh, instead called it, uh, paté chinoa instead, uh, after who they were,
they were giving it to. So, uh, not great.
Anyway, how's your week?
My week was all right. Uh, I did, I did a slightly more with my week than you, but not all that
much. Uh, me and Paige, finally, and I mean finally. So we, um, so let me give you a piece of
advice. This is a,
so you're familiar with virtual
audio cable?
Max uses it for
all of his audio stuff. No, but I can
infer from the name. Okay, so it's
basically it's a way to jam multiple inputs
together, right? It's a
free utility.
It's extremely useful, right?
On the virtual
autoeo cable website called
VB audio software, there is something called
voice meter.
And I don't know what
fuck voice meter is supposed to be used for but you can use it to do one really specific thing and that is send your PC audio to a phantom input and then send that phantom input to as many Bluetooth devices as you want oh okay which means if your PC is set up is your home media setup and your wife and you have two Bluetooth sets of Bluetooth headphones you can connect both
sets of Bluetooth headphones to your PC and actually listen to a single input
so that you don't worry about wait so early we were like if we put the TV down to like
four there's no way it could wake him up that don't even bother don't even fucking
bother don't don't don't even fucking bother okay okay it's fucking waste of time yeah yeah
yeah yeah you're gonna try it two or three times and then on the third time you're
be like, what am I fucking stupid? Why would this work the third time when it? So no, get your
Bluetooth's, you know, your headphones, hook that shit in. So I've already got on a wear mode.
I've already got the like, you know, me and Reggie like splitter thing going on. And like I have
the headphone like wire plugged in thing ability. But for a while, the, um, the Bose quiet comforts,
the 35s had a split source audio. So you could both connect to a device. So you could both connect to a
vice and listen, but then they took it away for the 45s.
I don't know why it sucks, but they used to be able to do that.
So that sounds really good.
So if you want to do that again, you can use a voice meter on the VV audio website.
And as a result, this is me and Paige's way to watch a movie in deathly silence, or at least
deathly TV silence.
So we got the guy down real early the other night.
He passed out like 9.30.
And we got to sit down and finally watch fucking Nosferatu.
Oh, the new one.
Yes.
The Willem Defoe
A vampire movie.
Yo, that is a
goddamn film.
That is a fucking piece of cinema.
I heard from people that hated it
and heard from people that loved it.
The people that, okay, you can,
so you can watch it,
and then you can immediately put
those people into two groups
and its taste and no taste.
And you can decide which group is in
which fucking camp.
I see.
Because I can see it.
That movie's incredible.
Okay.
That movie is incredible.
It is shot like an old movie.
It is staged.
It is gorgeous.
The acting in it is fantastic.
I'm not.
I got,
we mean Paige got to the end of the movie
and we're discussing at length
what scenes we thought happened
in the movie and what scenes
didn't actually happen in the movie.
Okay.
Because it's intentionally obtuse and confusing as to which events are actually occurring.
Ah, this would explain.
Okay.
So for the folks that didn't like it, they're kind of simple popcorn eating.
I just want to turn the brain off type.
This is like a fucking philosophical treaties on like monstersness and lust.
Well, that would explain why they hated it.
Yeah, okay.
Like the film might as well be in fucking Swedish.
Okay.
And in black and white.
but like made by like a modern American production
I see I see
this is this it has the little wreath that says it was rated number one at can
yeah absolutely yeah gotcha
it is it is a fucking film
incredible acting
like absolutely incredible acting
particularly from oh page
if page is listening to she'd know the actresses name
but the main character Ellen
uh was it a there are a couple
there are a couple absolutely insanely
manic fucking crashouts in this movie
that she does an incredible job
being mentally ill.
Lily Rose Depp.
Incredible job.
Johnny Depp's kid?
Lily Rose Depp. Yes, that would be
the potential Depp Neppo Baby.
I'll tell you that Neppo baby or not,
she fucking killed it in this movie.
Okay. This is a weird one because I also
didn't see any marketing for it at all.
I didn't encounter any in the wild.
or scroll past anything.
There was like one trailer
and it was like a shadow
going over a city
and then it was
Nusratu!
Yeah.
So I only heard about its existence
from like podcasts
talking about it initially
when it came out.
Like I didn't catch
that this was a thing.
You know?
Oh,
it's fucking incredible.
It is absolutely fantastic.
Okay.
Um.
Depo.
Yeah,
that's it.
Depot baby.
Yeah,
Depo Baby is really good.
I like that.
But I,
but like,
No, Lily Rose Depp does an absolutely amazing, amazing job.
Is it one of those cases, I guess, where it's like, okay, so yes, you were, part of being raised in this opulence is also that you have access to the best acting coaches and, and as a result, you are super talented because you fucking, you know, you know.
is the nepo baby's responsibility to be fucking peak to crush it okay yeah yeah right so like
i think of i think of like the nepo baby over at fucking capcom the director of monster hunter got to be
director of monster hunter because the CEO of capcom is his dad do don't fuck it up but then he put out
monster hunter world and monster hunter rise and i'm like well okay i'll fucking shut the fuck yeah
okay okay uh i've also been playing um
This and that
In my non-stream
So I've been streaming Donkey Kong
Uh, don't, that's Donkey Kong
Bonanza.
That's like
That's like top three
Nintendo game.
Damn, okay.
Like, it is,
I feel when you hit it is like everything I ever wanted out of like Odyssey and
Mario 64 and Galaxy in one.
It's so fun.
By the way,
It's a Donkey Kong game.
It's a fucking Mario game.
With punching.
It's a fucking Mario game.
You are also, you, I feel like all their recent things, like with Tears of the Kingdom and stuff, like you love that too as well.
Like each of these was hitting pretty strongly is the big Nintendo game.
Tears of the Kingdom and Breath of the Wild, I had complaints.
Nothing.
Not a single, not a single irk.
Not a single annoyance.
every single moment playing Donkey Kong
is going
yeah video games
yeah yeah yeah yeah
I forget if you touched Astrobot at all
I did I did not get it
because that is video games
as a feeling
Astrobot was fun
but like it was also like a really simple platformer
and I played it for a couple hours
and I'm like I don't get
why everyone's jizz in their pants
over the Astrobot
just simple platforming
just that's it
It's just, you know, it's chill.
Vibe.
Yeah, but you didn't get a banana and it didn't say, oh, banana every single fucking time.
No, but I did get fucking, like, solid snake and sole bad guy.
Yeah, but that's not its own merits.
No, but it's just enjoying a simple platformer with some video game references in it.
That's all.
Like, for me, like, I'd get, you know, I got like Alicard.
I was like, yeah, cool.
but then I went back to like
decent platforming.
I don't know.
Didn't...
Okay.
Didn't really...
It also tried to kill my PS5,
which didn't really engender myself to it.
Fair enough?
I tried to kill it.
I've also been playing...
Is that Horizon Story?
Oh, boy, is it?
Okay, so I'm going to touch on it a little...
Horizon Zero originality.
Yeah, Horizon Zero Dawn.
I beat last week completely
and I've started playing Forbidden West
Man, that's just a good ass
open world game. Okay.
And like
it's just like uniformly
excellent. I think I like it a good deal more than
God of War Ragnarok for
context.
Well then. And
it's one of those things you play the sequel and he's like
wow, this is like a universal
improvement in nearly every single
way. And then I got, I'm starting
to get to some of the story stuff that I saw people complain about.
I'm like, oh.
Yeah, I see, I see why you, why people wouldn't like this.
I'm, I'm down for it.
Okay.
But, like, yeah, I know, I can, I'm going to see why this would be a problem.
Well, I, it's a great map slot.
Yeah.
Let's push it.
Let's push it.
Let's get that one created.
Map fuck this.
I'm going to go ahead and say that, like, that is, like, a term that gets created
distinctly in the fan-based comments
does not necessarily mean
it's part of the nomenclature,
but you can make it that if you push it hard enough.
Yeah.
I was curious with...
Oh, yeah, it's map slop as fuck, though.
It's fulfilling the same urge
that I did when I was playing it
as Assassin's Creed's
two brotherhood and Revelations did.
Well, hold on now. Are we map slopping
or is it map fucking
with with like friend slop?
so it's it's not map it's map fucking it's not map sloping yeah yeah um and like yes
am i climbing a tower to unlock points of interest on my map yes that is now even nintendo
fucking does that now like it's just become a thing but thanks ubi climbing that towered means
that i am climbing a big cool weird robot giraffe sure i have actually really hard time climbing up
on top. And the reward for climbing, it is fun
and stuff.
I was, I mean, I feel like when we first
talked about Forbidden West, you were
mentioning the effect
of like knowing the world and the setting
and the reveal and all that stuff.
Oh yeah. So here, yeah. So I
have been, I have been
spoiled on both of the major
plot points of the first game and the
second game.
Before I even
ever played them.
Like,
uh,
uh,
like I was I played Horizon Zero Dawn in like the first week
and before I even got out of the starting area I was spoiled on like
what's the deal with the Horizon location?
And then after going through the entire thing I was like yeah no actually going through
the reveal is just as good as the actual detail of the reveal.
Okay.
But but this is very very close to a like Death Strandings 2 type situation right
where you have a, I guess,
world revela a ton that is already out there.
And now you're just going into a sequel on it.
This is such a good comparison.
Thank you for bringing it up.
Because I'm going into Verizon.
Forza. Forbidden West.
Forza Motor Horizon.
And I do also know the proper twist.
But the twist is not what's the nature of the world.
The twist is what's the nature of what's going on
in the second game, right?
So that that core mystery isn't as there.
And knowing that and playing enough of it now,
I can easily see the problem with the sequel
is that there's a certain percentage of people
that will look at what the new story development
going on in Forbidden West and going,
that's stupid.
Like that's just not as interesting
as the first games.
But it's told better.
Very similar to Destranding 2.
The difference is,
is and I
this is like the only game I can think of
that I've encountered this in a long, long
time. So I talked to you about how
like by the end of Horizon's base game
I had like solved all the combat encounters.
Right. And then I played the
DLC and the DLC like really cranked it
up a notch and like made a lot of those
tactics like non-viable. So I had to
re like integrate
myself with the way the combat works.
Horizon Forbidden West
as soon as you get out of the
tutorial, assume
you beat the first game last week.
Like, the fucking, the fucking, like, difficulty, complexity curve just starts where the last
game ended.
It does not, like, redo its own curve.
It just goes, so you beat Horizon Zero Dawn, right?
Mm-hmm.
Let's go.
I think...
Which is the opposite of what happens in Death Stranding 2.
I feel like Destranging 2 never got as hard.
as the first hours of
Death Stranding won.
The challenge is nullified
the entire time.
Okay, okay.
Also, I said it again last week.
Forbidden West does
an incredibly bad job catching
you up.
Like, you get like a
90 second, two minute like,
here's what happened last time on Horizon
that just like fucking flies
over every single detail.
Now it's the best time to get into the Horizon franchise.
And then before you go out,
onto your mission they go hey let's have a walk and talk in like a hub area of like all these
characters you met from the first game and like when i when i played that originally i bought
the game on ps5 a million years ago and i played that sequence uh before beating the first game
i was like i don't know what a single fucking what the who the fuck are these people what are they
talking about and then you go to the notebook and the the fucking you know the little bio and like
it'll be like, this guy was part of the shadow carja.
But like nowhere in the thing does it tell you what the fucking shadow carja is.
So you're just like, I don't fucking, I don't know what the fuck that is.
So like, yeah, no, that, that franchise, like, just assumes that you're keeping up to date.
Just, like, the attempt to get in on the second game is ridiculous.
I feel like there's a, there's a, there's a way to approach sequels when, like, when the world is so established and unique and pushing forward in time is
extremely difficult to do.
There's a sequel thing you can do
where you'll be like, okay, the sequel
is actually just taking place during
the main game, but with a different person over
here as a side story. It's its own separate thing.
And in a lot of cases,
if that's emotionally resonant, that can
do the job. I kind of
like, I can think, I
think I prefer some of those,
especially when it's like too much
to take the responsibility
of pushing forward
that first, you know, games
whatever it did for its world and then
going somewhere else significant with it
you can tell someone else's story and be compelling
about it
there's a there's a really good way that I would say
for example
earthbound right as a there's
you know earthbound and then there's like mother three and like
those are games where it's like sequels
some other shit going on with some other people
compelling in its own place
and you don't have to
push the world of the first one
drastically forward to find
what's good about this other thing over here.
So that can totally work
except the call to adventure
in Horizon Zero Dawn.
Like literally the first thing that ever happens
in that game is that the main character
Aloy is literally like a virgin birth
like like like messy
figure that the mountain gives birth to her.
Okay.
And that is like the start of the games.
I cannot think of many games that like the nature of the main character is so integral
to the plot.
Yeah.
Okay.
You're you're stuck here.
Camera cannot cannot travel more than a couple feet away from her.
Got it.
Like like every single part of the horizon setting, it revolves around this character.
well now then perhaps it's time to complete the trilogy
by beginning light of motiram
bro it's like oh oh man
the horizon trilogy ends
they had a a fucking
they had a goddamn horizon game that was going to be a live service
and that was one of the ones that got cancelled
oh was it during Sony's bullshit so like that third horizon game
okay this is going to sound strange
have you ever played a game
that doesn't have a number on it
but within the first 15 minutes of starting the game
you're like oh they're gonna make another game
you can feel what they're going for
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh this is part two
of a fucking trilogy oh my god
Tencent like holy shit
I mean
even it's not even just like the ripoff
of the gameplay the promotional art
itself like it's a
it wants to trick you
we'll get there we'll get there okay okay okay
we'll get there
But yeah, no, Horizon Forbidden West, very good game.
Apparently it's sold okay, but we'll talk about that in a second.
And then, last but not least, I am doing the opposite.
I love how doing this forever we accidentally do the opposite thing, sometimes simultaneously, without talking to each other at all.
I am doing the opposite of your best of compilations.
So I was talking recently
I was talking
Did you watch Tim Rogers' Final Fantasy 7 remake review?
No.
Okay, so in the FF7 remake review,
he describes, I think it's called
the Trinkent Conundrum
and which he describes like being in the Shinra building
and like Genova's attacking, right?
And it's super dramatic and you're slow walking and all that.
But all he's doing is spinning the camera
and running into corners.
during all these dramatic moments
so he can get accessories
that don't matter
and he doesn't care about
but what if he missed them?
Okay.
Right?
What if he missed them?
And I was talking to people
about like
someone said you don't have to
100% every game you play
even if you're never going to play it again
like especially if it keeps you
from playing something else
and go but what if the part
that I skip is the best part of the game?
You know, the usual
thing that we go through. Yes.
And this led
to a suggestion
I don't have the name
but
I can go back and I'll talk
about it on my show which is
what if you just played through a bunch
of games and just refuse
to do any side content at
all?
Oh, the main line.
Yes.
So on Thursday
I'm going to be playing Xenoblade
Chronicles on a new idea I have called bee lining in which I'm going to try and get through
the entirety of Xenoblate Chronicles. Okay. Without doing any side content of any kind.
Okay. Okay. Now, this is hilarious and I think this is really funny and this is this has got some some
legs. You have to inherently, of course, be okay with like ruining quote unquote the experience
if it's a game you would have otherwise enjoyed.
Absolutely. A hundred percent.
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
So I put I put so and here's the thing.
This is this is like naturally come about because over the past like couple of months I have had like one major complaint over and over and over where I play FF7 rebirth or fucking death stranding and go, wow, I tried to do everything and then I got super bored and then it fucking sucked at the end.
end. And then Gene messages me on Discord going, yeah, dude, I didn't do nothing. Oh, man. Ten out of ten. Oh, man. Okay. And I'm like, I'm just creating a video series where I pretend to be Jean Park. I, this is, I, like, I respect the hustle on this premise. I also know that it's like the, there's a level of you have to have an energy that is kind of belligerent.
about the content and I know as somebody who's going to like play some a moment and then ask a
question and the answer to that question is in that side quest over there and it's like shut the
fuck up then just keep it going no we're not doing it oh man now I'm not going to be the kind of
I'm not going to be the type of person who's going to be like I won't pick up any quest
because some side quests are you can grab them and you they will just naturally happen yeah
yeah as you get there but like I've been I've been like 100%
almost every game I play.
Like, do you remember
a long, long time ago
where I explained that I thought the way that art
worked is that people
fucking drew a picture like a X-Rox
machine, just line by line?
Yeah, yeah.
Because I'm an insane person.
That's how I play games.
I have a fucking grid.
And I just go by fucking numerical
grid in my brain over
the map. You should see how
stupid the Horizon Forbidden West
map looks like in my game right now.
because it's just like an advancing wall of completed shit from east to west.
Now, here's, no, like, I'm not going to pretend that the way I played like cyberpunk was any more natural, mind you, because that was just like, let me just try to save time and maximize the shit I'd care about for impact.
But what the, what the normal quote unquote experience is supposed to be is arbitrarily giving a fuck about some things and not about others, you know?
the other thing is one of the reasons I'm picking Zeno Blade
is Zeno Blade as a game that like
I actually was talking to people the other day
I'm like you know I got to the top of the
the I got to the head of the Bionis in Zeno Blade
way back in the day on the Wii
and it felt like I was at the 80% mark
which is why I'm like so upset that I
did so many side quests that I
got bored of it and I was then informed
like dude you weren't even halfway through the game
like I wasn't
I wasn't I burned out
and I wasn't even like halfway
Oh, fuck that shit.
Okay, so now I need to know then.
What is your selection criteria for games that you care enough about to beeline,
but not so much that missing details would be an issue?
Slash, slash games where you would never have touched it anyway.
So this is going to be a case-by-case basis because right now the criteria,
Xenoblaid D.E. is a really good
example. Gamed them like, oh, I should stream
that. But it's too long to stream.
Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Right.
So I'll never play it. Yeah. Okay. This is your
solution to, yeah, we, you're approaching
the same problem I have from a different way.
You're coming at it from a completely different angle.
100%. It's like, okay, the only way
I'm going to be able to fix this is
via an antagonistic, self-destructive process.
Yes, yes. Understood.
Like, all right. There's no, there's no compromise here,
you know, especially.
Because I look back at FF7 Rebirth as like, man, I would have probably been singing that game's fucking praises to the moon if I had just ignored every single side quest in the game.
And that was like the game that like kind of broke me on it.
That and doing every single quest in the game for like 16 or 17 yakuza games.
I was going to say it.
And then not finishing multiple of them because of doing that.
Yeah, you do, you play one of those and you go, oh, fuck, right?
Or, again, I mean, if I be like, I'm thinking of this cyberpunk no side quest experience, and it's not miserable, but it's deeply unsatisfying because the thing about that game that makes it worth playing is how much the world is living and not getting to experience that living world just feels like you're watching a movie for a couple hours, you know?
yeah um i the the first game that i can remember ever this happening to was lost judgment
where i was doing everything in lost judgment and lost judgment has like the most side
content of any uh like a dragon game um and uh woe is me the second school club the robot club
in lost judgment was horribly broken uh on release uh it was just like completely
completely fucked up none of the robert
Robots dropped any of the items they were supposed to drop.
It was like crazy.
And I did it.
And it took like, I spent like as much time on the robot club as I think I spent on the rest of the fucking game combined.
Okay.
And then I dropped it because I was exhausted.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, this is especially going to be wild for if you pick anything that's like as an aforementioned map fucker, you know?
Yeah.
Um, I'm, I'm curious to see the, the lab results, put them in a beaker, boil that shit up and tell me what happens.
Because an antagonistic, you know, attitude.
It's like, hey, you want to do a side quest?
No.
Yeah.
I don't.
Yeah.
I don't talk to me.
And that's the thing is because viewers are like, oh, you would love this bit if you did.
No, I wouldn't.
I'm not doing it.
No, I'm not going to.
Okay.
So, but it's not.
race to credits, right? It's not...
No, no, no, absolutely not.
Okay, it's still, it's like, experience, like, the natural flow, but not, like, actively...
Let's take, like, the little baby example, which I tried, uh, this morning.
So, uh, I have turned into my father, uh, if the dog had to go out at 2.30 in the morning.
So I took him out and then I got back into the house and was like, oh, well, I'm just fucking
cooked then. No sleep for me. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. I'm fucked.
So I've been up since 2.30.
Okay.
And so I played a shit ton of Horizon Forbidden West this morning.
And I got the map point and it, you know, showed off the whole map area.
And then you can see where all the collectibles are.
And I went, okay, so normally what I would do is I would just do every single collectible in like a fucking Xerox pass from east to west as I did this.
and and the main quest
sends me past like 40 map activities
like it zigzags in between them right
but it's a really low level quest
and I'm like okay
I have to trust that the main quest
will probably make it worth my while to actually do
and so I did it
I went past all that shit and I didn't touch it
and then I got to the main quest
and what did it do it it unlocked
like a settlement it gave me a bunch of weapons and it unlocked a map traversal item that
would have been really frustrating to not have because half of those collectible points were
things that I would have been able to unlock because I wouldn't add the main story progression
item okay okay okay I have questions I have so many questions okay okay okay what if you're
playing a game and you're be lining but the game is like all right well time for you to go
waste time until we're ready to move on to the next objective then i will wait then i will waste
time and and and do things okay the thing pops okay and right so like xenoblay chronicles
de is an r pgg right if i absolutely straight line it and then run into a place where i'm like well i
literally can't beat this boss i've tried 15 times i can't beat this boss okay i'm gonna go get some
that's it right under being under leveled as well because like a lot of games are based on yeah if you
be lined you will be under leveled that to myself uh playing monster hunter rye
where I did every single low-ranked quest
in the entire game, of which there were many.
And then when I got to high-rank, I'm like, I'm bored.
Okay.
Can't do it.
But for this to work in general,
it needs to be the type of thing
where there's a big objective part to make it to one after the other, right?
Yeah.
This wouldn't work with a fucking Eldon Ring ass,
like teleport to Brazil type situation
where you have to just find your content.
And someone pointed out that in Morowind,
a game I've never played,
but like you get to a point in the main quest
where the man the
guy you're dealing with just goes
you're not level three, fuck off
okay, yeah, yeah
get out here. Right.
Go play.
Yeah, there's a lot of ways that
that's what it kind of comes down to is there's a lot of ways
in which games will be like, no, you have to go do some stuff
now. So yeah, okay, you will be doing those.
Okay.
It's like I have to believe
what the actually important gear
will be given to me by the games
primary focus. Okay. What if there is like a, what if there's a side quest that is basically a
DLC style chunk of main content? No. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. I suppose it depends on how loud
everyone is screaming at me. Right? If my own audience is like, no, stop. Like, break the rule on this one.
then like, okay, maybe.
But like, the point is to just fucking...
Yeah.
Go.
Okay.
No, there needs to be a fucking a list of rules and regulations.
Because, like, you know what's a really bad thing that sucks is when you're like, oh, man, I'm really enjoying this.
I want to clear out the map.
And what you end up doing is going to every single major location in a game just wandering into it instead of
the narratively purposed
set piece event that's supposed to
show that location off and
integrate you. So like
when I played Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth
and I would hit the map,
I would be like, okay, time just to do every single
side quest and explore the entire map. And then I
would be like, okay, done. And then I would go, okay, do
the main story, which will have you
discovering these locations. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, that's annoying because
different styles of game design.
Some game designs are like, we will
take you on the adventure for you,
Like the rail to these different cities as part of the trip.
And others are going to be like, we'll never take you there.
Why would you go there?
That's over there.
Yeah.
I prefer that example where you literally go for yourself, you know?
In Expedition 33, I walked into what, like, yellow forest and think and just did almost all of it despite not having any reason to be there or do anything.
You know?
Yeah.
And then it was like, hey, good for you.
You did it.
Whatever.
Didn't amount to much, but you fought some cool shit.
but to then get brought back and forced to do it later sucks if they bring you back and go
oh you already did the thing all right well we're cool that's pretty rare that's pretty rare
the object you're looking for you already got it huh wow look at you know then cool we can move
we can move beyond it um this dude horizon for horizon zero dawn has like i just remembered it has like
one of the worst ones of those ever
because there
is the
the final important location
in the world is like on the map
but it's like hidden away it's like really
really really far off the beaten path
but if you get like the collectible
map that shows you where collectibles are
there's a collectible near it
so in my goal to
get all the collectibles as I got through
those areas I
climbed this mountain
and then fought a bunch of bosses
and then got like this cinematic fucking shot of like a busted up mountain
that's supposed to be the location of a quest called the mountain that fell
and then ran forward and like started climbing it
and then I'm like I couldn't climb it anymore I'm like what why
there's just like a ladder missing and I'm like oh I thought this is like a really
cool location okay that so much and that was at like our
20. Oh man. That's the location of like the final quest in the game. So when I went back there,
I just fast traveled to the bottom of the mountain. And then the story that's supposed to play
as you go of the mountain started to play. And I'm like, oh, I fuck this up for myself. I absolutely
take this shit. But that is dog shit game design. I super screwed this shit up. The,
the ladder's missing type shit. I hate that so much. Punished for exploration. Yeah. This is. And I'm
like like getting into that.
building is supposed to be like this big
triumphant thing because you fought a ton
of monsters and robots and a
stormbird and shit like that but instead
I was like oh it's over there oh yeah I did that
like in my real life
like six weeks ago okay yeah
let me just fast travel to the quest location
okay done oh man this
this has potential for
like catastrophic
never before seen results
because oh yeah no I
foresee myself just be like
like casino but you remember
Has like a relationship chart and like there's an entire system with like
X-links. Okay. That is like labyrinthine and you have to grind and I'm just gonna not do it. I'm just gonna not do it. Because this is all carried on you your energy. Your energy is what it's the entire determiner of how this goes. You are you're driving the other day says I think chat wants Pat to suffer and I think that person was right. Like you're driving the bus and and people are on the bus and you're like oh look at that cool. And you're like I don't care. We're
I'm never going to pick up anyone on this bus.
This bus is passengers that got on and start only.
And people that are like, they want to enjoy their tour through the city and see all the sights and sounds.
And you're like, we're not seeing any of that shit.
This is going to be, this is going to result in like the strangest conversations ever at some point where I'm going to play the equivalent of Expedition 33.
And somebody's going to be like, what's your favorite character?
And I'll be like, Lune.
And they're like, oh, really?
Not C.L?
And I'm like, who's Ciel?
Yeah.
I mean, again, if you're, like, you're driving through fucking Disney and you're like, you're not looking at anything else.
You on the fucking, you and the driver's seat needs to entertain more than the sights they're not seeing and the crying and frustration of not pulling over so that they can go to the bathroom.
Yeah.
Um, no, you guys, you don't understand.
You don't get it.
Also, part of that discussion led me to, uh, some really, uh, absolutely fucking, um,
unhinged how long to beat entries.
Oh, yeah.
Because I put out on social media, hey, what game has like the shortest main path and like the longest main plus extra?
Yeah.
And Dragon Quest 9 is fucking, was it at 30?
486 on Maine and 784 on completionist.
I looked at Dragon Quest back in the day as a potential LP.
Yeah, I remember that one.
And botan kios is at like fucking 46 versus like 120 because the game forces you to wait three weeks in game, in game to get certain things.
Your audience will continue to feel the ramifications of you not LPing 13 Sentinels forever.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, 13 Sentinels doesn't really have any.
No, but I just mean like, but just the idea of like enjoying that off camera for yourself while you could have been filming it.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
That was a different time in my life.
Yeah.
Like I used to have tons of time to do things off camera for Pat.
Now, hey, do I really want to play Zeno Blake Chronicles DE?
Well, I better gimmick up a fucking reason to put it on the show.
Incredible.
Because it's too big.
I await with bated breath the results of this, you know, and any other attempts to circumvent the L.P.'s bloat time. You know, I, I'm so, so curious.
Like, I'm looking at Horizon Forbidden West, and it's like, let's, let's look at my fucking game time on it. Let's look at my fucking hours on Steam. Horizon Forbidden West Complete Edition has 16.2 hours. How long to beat, says,
the main quest is
fucking what, 22 hours long?
I'd be almost done
with the game if I was just going
for it. I have done
two main quests
so far.
Two.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm, I, God,
the Xenos here, anyway, we'll
have to see. I've,
outside of the big cool robot
stuff, um,
I'm very, I'm very hot.
That's not even in most of those.
I know.
I'm very hot, cold on the Zeno things, you know?
I'm,
Hey, guess what, dude.
Zeno is also hot, cold on quality.
Okay.
A lot of people talk about them, and they don't talk about Saga these days as much as they talk about
those other ones.
Now, well, I know now that you've said Zeno Saga, their greatest warrior is going to just manifest.
There he is.
I've seen him.
I knew it.
Hey there.
It was simultaneous.
I saw you.
Right there.
Right there.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
No, I just, yeah.
I haven't felt the pull towards the monado, you know?
Yeah.
So.
I just think it's really fun of.
They're so British.
They're so British.
I'm so glad that game.
Now that those games are coming out in English.
everywhere right it's it's fine uh it's good that they sound like that it's really funny
that they all sound like that oh i just flashed back to years ago when uh you were talking about
like zeno gears and stuff and then i want to say josh just like went on the zeno saga rant
about everything wrong with cosmos and and all of that and there's a lot and
basically the
just putting off the idea of even
beginning or jumping into any part of that
a franchise at that time at the very least
even though they're not
related or whatever but just
the Zeno the Zeno saga
it's not good I'm just gonna say it's not good
it's not they're not good but like you can really
see how not good they are when they decided
to completely change the
the full art style of their
three RPG series like
one game in
just completely change it
I did some
fucking weird
I did some cool cosmos combos
in Namco X Capcom
you know I bet you did
she was strong
fucking she's so boring
dude
some robot lady
she's got nothing going on
literally god or something
just I don't care
okay
anyway
like Zeno Gears had a lot of like
Evangelian-style religious nonsense going on, but it was like back by like a really strong
character story. And then you get to Zeno Saga and it's like, oh, there's a lot of fucking
stupid, Gnostic shit all of this fucking thing. I don't know.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I would probably jump straight to the, to the one with the robot just to see
it transform, though. I feel like that would be the most enjoyment for me.
That would be X. Chronicles X. That one is totally separate from all the other Xenoblades.
So that's the one that you would jump to.
although the whole thing with the setting of the other one being like two frozen gods as a like big fighting thing is also that's a cool setting idea you know but so i think one of the funniest things about the zina blade saga is that one and two are like really similar but have nothing to do with the one of there right one is like oh the monado and then the second one is like my my girlfriend's the sword and all that show yeah uh yeah the wifu swords one and the third one and the
third one like seems like a fully standalone story and I remember after came out it was like yeah
this is a fully standalone story don't worry about it but then the epilogue dLC for xenoblate
three came out and the fucking photo on the store page is all three main characters swords
plunged into the fucking field and then all of a sudden it was like okay no you probably
shouldn't play all of them actually it seems important that that that beautiful windows
desktop, yeah, with all the lore going on.
You ever, um, you ever go through last story?
No.
Okay.
Because, I think the only time I've ever played it was actually at your house.
Okay, okay.
Because yeah, I picked it up and just didn't, I was just like, yeah, that's fine.
Got a ways in, but it was, that other Nintendo British RPG at the time that it was, okay.
They were all just really, really, really, really highly British.
very much so okay
okay that's what's going on
to be you want to go see that shit
go down to twitch.tv
slash pat stares at
be lining is on Thursday and Sunday
there are some games
that'll probably
okay okay yeah yeah there's some
there's like games that you look
and you're like I wasted my fucking time
doing anything on the side of that shit
no there's some shit where this could pay off
real real well yeah yeah and there's some stuff
that is like oh the game is like completely falling apart
because they really did expect me to do shit on the side
without any, without any pushing.
I would beeline a Grand Theft Auto game.
I would, I would, they're really short if you do that.
Yeah, I would super, I would super be line of Grand Theft Auto,
a rock star game in general, you know?
Oh, they're super short.
Yeah, I would fucking Red Dead fucking critical path my way.
I can't even imagine how short Red Dead one is
if you just go from point to point to point and just never deviate.
Oh, I would be so down.
To just hit the crit, hit the crit, and never, ever swerve off.
But then, like, if you do that too often, you become that guy.
And, like, everyone's favorite part is you're like, I don't know what that is.
Yeah, just like, did you even play it?
You know, like, says I did.
Why is this playlist for videos?
Yeah.
All right.
Let's take a quick break.
Yeah, let's take a quick break.
Beerbeat.
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the little optional clip i was hope i was hoping you were going to say no so i could go yeah that's
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hit him with that Frank Reynolds all day um all right sounds disgusting
I know what you mean but just the name Frank Reynolds just sounds vile so so this week
on China don't care China doesn't give a shit boy doesn't give a fuck do this this China
not so I so this is we're talking about light of motiram which is the most obvious rip off of
the Horizon Zero Dawn conceivable.
I remember this got announced
like a long time ago
and
I think we even talked about
last year then
as just be like look at this fucking shit
oh my God
but the whole like
eight months ago
the whole Horizon at home bit
like was so bad with this game
especially when you look at its concept art
and everything going on.
And it has like it has
the destiny ghosts
hanging out next to the characters too.
I don't
know if you caught that. I wouldn't recognize them. Okay, so I'll, hold on. I'm going to grab
some screenshots for you as you continue the story. So you go ahead. Yeah, but it was so bad that
Sony said, fuck this shit, we're suing Tencent. They filed a lawsuit. And, uh, yeah, like,
it, uh, it was, it was that bad, um, reports. So though, the craziest part is that
Tencent approached them a while ago
to collaborate. Can we make
a Horizon game for you guys? Yeah.
And Sony said, nah, which now
makes them look a million times double
guiltier. By the way, here's the screenshots
I'm sending you of how much
Oh, shit.
Okay. Destiny ghost. Okay,
okay, okay. The thing that follows you around.
Yeah. And resurrects you and says the wizard
came from the moon. You also
got a little simple one of those in
a thousand times
resist but yeah this is this is bad no they they wanted to make a horizon game officially
sony said no and they went oh yeah okay all right we'll see about that i mean fuck and it's been and
here's the thing it's one of the most blatant ones i've ever seen in my entire life that's that's what's
crazy right it's one of the most blatant but it's at a time where
Tencent and NetE's and all these, like, companies have been, like, putting out a bunch of, you know, just quadruple-A, you know, high-octane action games and things like that.
And, you know, making a noted name, you know, and, like, Chinese games are getting much more, like, prominent.
and you're seeing trailers for tons of these of them.
But I just kind of am like the era of the full-on blatant Chinese rip-off game
has been, it's been a minute since we've seen that.
But it's still around.
It's so similar.
Like all the design elements, the colors of the plastics and the synthetics and the way that
the carbon fiber muscles, it's all like explicitly Horizon.
It makes me think that they approached them to,
talk to them after they had already started working on it.
And it was too late by then.
Yeah, I could see it.
I can see it.
Because it's also like, like this is not just a random dev.
This is fucking Tencent.
You know, like a humongous publisher that's just going like, ah, what if we just
did it though?
What if we just fucking did it?
Kind of, kind of nuts.
So yeah, we'll see, we'll see where this goes.
But like, yeah, with so many other things coming out.
original that are you know
doing well and getting on the board there
the absolute shamelessness here
you know and they're like
unless you show me some sort of like
pal-wirl ass like
parody trailer
where there's something else going on here
no it's being played like straight
fuck man
um
light of mortyram
there's a hidden
little news story inside
this news story
which was a
of dramatic shock to me, which I think is actually more interesting than the rip-off,
is that this is the first time Sony has ever admitted in their filing how many copies
the Horizon series has sold.
Oh.
Did you catch that?
I didn't know that was a detail of a head.
Yeah, they just never put numbers out.
So, Woolley, don't look it up.
I want to try something.
So Horizon has been plagued with being overshadowed by way bigger games.
on both of its releases
and it also on its re-releases, right?
Like, Breath of the Wild and Eldon Ring,
but also there were other games that were huge
that came out alongside their remastered versions, right?
And the joke about,
the joke about, like, industry plant, right?
Like, it said Sony keeps pushing it, but, you know,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many copies you think those games have sold,
franchise franchise yeah franchise okay so four versions yeah okay so you our title when something hits
like a million sold or shipped they always put out a celebration thing and not that I'm looking
for it so I didn't see it but I feel like I would have had it in the in the brain or so but then
again yeah as a mainline thing as a big triple a front like like console push official thing
it's kind of like expected in some cases but even insomniacs celebrates that when like spider man
does it or
Ghost of Sushima
will celebrate it
all right
so like
I could see it
being like
both titles
like maybe
so it's Horizon 1
Horizon 2
and then the remasters
of both
PC ports
all together
all together
yeah and the
Lego game
and a VR game
that sold nothing
so don't worry
about that
all right
let's say
plus or minus
half a million
on
four, call it four million?
38 million.
Oh, well.
The Horizon Series has sold 38 million games.
Well, wow.
The Horizon series that no one talks about and has zero cultural impact has sold 40 million fucking games.
Wow.
Okay.
Well, sure.
I severely underestimated that.
Yeah.
I think.
It's fucking weird.
And I'm playing them.
They're quite good.
They're excellent, but they have like zero cultural impact on video gamers at all, like nothing.
So I think I can't like the ability, it's difficult to assess whenever there's like, yeah, bundles.
Whenever there's a game that is a like front of shelf product, there's a level of that that's like,
people are going to just grab it because it's quintessentially thought about with the console, you know?
People who are not looking at game releases are like, oh, well, here's that box.
that stands next to it with god of war and spider man and you know ghost of and so on like it's it's
it's one of those things it's just not the one that people are particularly talking about that much
or caring about because of yeah all the comparison of what it gets released next to um also you know
fucking i would say that from the way you talk about it at the very least i mean it's good but like
oh they're excellent but like i feel like you know
know, I imagine one of those
Spider-Man games or one of those God of War games
is going to, like, people like
those more, it feels like, it's a bigger
deal when it hits.
I think it's about intensity of
belovedness, right?
Like, a lot of people
really enjoyed Horizon.
But a good amount of people
are fucking crazy for God of War.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
You know, like,
there's also not much in terms of
like, I guess, meme currency on
line. There's one, there is literally one meme for Horizon. And it is the same thing you see
every single time you ever talk about Horizon. And I'm going to look in there and I'm going to
see someone yell out fuck Ted Farrow. Oh, that one. Okay, okay. And no, there it is. No,
what's stuck in my mind was the, the shitty era of the like, look at her and her freckles. She's
not a beautiful woman thing. Oh, fuck. That was so awful.
And that picture of her face, that's the one that lives rent-free.
That I'm like, that's what I remember being shared around years ago.
Yeah.
Anyway, interesting.
Interesting number there.
Hmm.
So it makes sense.
The 10-cent was like, hey, can we make one?
We're already making one.
We already made it.
Okay.
So while I have been consuming no media and completely...
No media, not even a one.
as out of the loop as I have been.
I took a look and I get, like, so it's,
are we just going back to fucking moral panic shit?
We're going back to the, to the era of,
oh no, no, this is a different thing altogether.
Okay, because it sounds like we're going back to that lawyer.
I forgot his name.
Jack Thompson and Mass Effect Blue Titties.
and pearl clutching.
Giant Australian pearl clutching
appears to be fucking up the market.
So the typical reaction of like
of moral panic is generally
from like the older generation
right?
I don't know.
I don't understand this new fucking media.
This new media is degenerate, whatever.
This is this this is not that.
You're talking about the collective shout shitheads.
I think on Australia
or hassled a visa and MasterCard
to pulling shit off steam.
No, this is like a dedicated
freak bitch loser group
that is trying to enact
political change by being annoying shitheads.
This is very different
from old people going, I don't get it.
Right.
And I guess they're powered up
by being shitheads.
And...
Yeah.
Did you play Yakuza 7?
Yeah, a little bit.
Do you remember Bleach Japan?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's those guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's them.
Literally that.
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay.
Oh, God, that piece of shit, those fucking t-shirts.
Yeah, no, that is a real guy.
And he lives in Australia and the U.S.
in Canada, whoever, wherever, right?
And these guys are screaming about how your creepy gooner games are ruining society.
Yeah, so, you know, from what I understand here,
the collective shout group has decided to
pressure and petition Visa and MasterCard
over what initially appears to be the
going after incest, rape, whatever games, Gooner game, etc.
And then, of course, with that pressure, it never stops there, does it?
Yeah, well...
It's straight up... I mean, it's a group of people who probably doesn't like sex with Hitler,
too, because they believe that sex with Hitler,
too is not respectful enough
of the source of the source of the source of theory
didn't get right rather than any
you know issues with its content
yeah um so anyway
and from from that initial push
then uh it extends to itch.io
and steam and everywhere they can
they can harass and so on
um to the
itch.io de-indexed all not safe for work content
period um
and they basically put out a message going
hey um we can't
fuck around when MasterCard and Visa
threaten to delist us or not work with us, it's too much of an impact.
Yeah, they'd be cooked. Exactly. So what we have to do is delist everything right away and then
sort out how to deal with that later. And that type of shitty pressuring from the smaller
groups that know how to be absolute asses about it is, yeah, that's a huge shitty trend to
have to start following because, of course, anybody can do that for any reason.
Yeah.
And if they start listening, then who the fuck knows what else gets sideline.
Now, to be clear, Visa and MasterCard as payment processors in the United States have a long, long history of being extraordinarily quick to withhold financial services from.
any content they find
to be distasteful to their own thing
which is fucking nonsense
payment processors are a public utility
despite being private companies
it's a pile of fucking shit it's an easy target
people have shot at before
it's just nonsense it's like oh we want the purity
of MasterCard like fuck you you don't know
what I buy with MasterCard I buy
fine I buy a hundred pieces of candy
and eat them all in one day and that's more wholesome
than looking at porn yeah shut up it's the
it's the digital Westboro Baptist Church approach
Yeah, so like
The far-right shitheads
Well, yeah, they'll yell about it
And that's obviously having an effect
But Visa and MasterCard, they're ready to just hit that button
To do this shit regardless
As a result
There has been a very, very well-organized campaign
That I've been seeing
Which is basically, hey, just call Visa and MasterCard
And ask to talk to somebody and escalate it
And be like, you're not happy about this
and describe that that's why you're calling.
Because it's always a fucking group.
It's always the most insignificant amount of people
deciding to literally steer the ship for everybody.
And yeah, one would have to imagine that like millions of upset people
letting their voices be known would drown out
whatever bullshit collective shout is putting out there.
Yeah, so people have been doing that.
And apparently Visa and MasterCard has gone from taking people's feedback to begging them to email them instead to responding on the phone.
Like, are you guys calling about the video game thing again?
Sick, sick, sick. I didn't catch that.
And that's been in a couple of days.
Nice, nice, nice, nice.
Yeah.
No, because the more annoying it gets for them, the more they are likely to not listen to shitheads like this in the future, hopefully.
Yeah.
Basically, the idea is that you want to create a monetary cost.
in annoyance that is higher
than the monetary cost in annoyance
for the other
Yeah, the absolute
insufferable cold war.
So from what I've seen as well,
this group has not,
this is not their first rodeo.
You know, there have been efforts in the past.
There have been previous causes
that they have been behind as well.
For example,
attempts
unsuccessful efforts
to ban Snoop Dog and Eminem
from Australia
Yeah
Good luck with that
An attempt to prevent Tyler the creator
From touring Australia
It's just so
It's so incessantly like
Oh you guys just hate all art
And good taste
And fun times and sex
And et cetera
Et cetera
A campaign to pressure target
And Kmart to stop selling
GTA5 in Australia
Yeah
Come on.
And this is where we get that.
That's where like the Jack Thompson era comes back into,
a petition to ban no mercy from sale,
which ultimately led to the developers pulling it from Steam,
and an unsuccessful petition to ban Detroit become human from sale in Australia as well.
The last of which apparently was because of the everything with the fucking fake child abuse plot line.
Right.
And so on.
So, yeah, just that's,
that's nice to hear um the oh there needs to be a clarification made so one of the things that
has been going around is that mouthwashing was delisted from itch dot io but that's not true right
as a result of this no that's not true mouthwashing had been delisted off of searched there for a long
time because the itch dot io page for mouthwashing is literally just a steam link um that's not
it's unrelated so because i was coming to this story like so far into it it was same thing for um what
the other game.
There was another game
that people thought was delisted for this,
but it wasn't because of that.
Consume me.
Apparently, the creator
thought that it was part of the delisted
games, but it was not for that.
The itch.io founder confirmed that it was for a different
reason. So there are games that are being
delisted. Those ones in particular were not over that
case. But overall, the itch.io
version of this is, yeah, they're
a smaller company, and they've got,
it's much harder for them to
you know, deal with this and figure it out on the back end.
So it sounds like their approach is like,
we'll not have these in MasterCard mad at us and figure it out later, you know?
So, uh, this is also like a fairly, uh, clear attempt to, uh,
dismiss and delist, uh, games that have like queer people in them.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, for sure.
Well, that's it.
Because you start with the easy target, right?
You go, it's-
gays by their very nature are
pornographic. Yeah, no, no, no, no, for sure. You start
with the easy target and go, well, who would
want to defend the rape incest game, right?
That's where you start. And then immediately
seconds later, you go
after literally anything with sex
in it, anything not safe for work, anything
queer positive, literally all of it.
Right? But you have to open up the door
with the rape incest game.
It's always the thing. It's like, who would
defend sex with Hitler?
Right? And then as soon as you
get rid of sex with Hitler, you go,
You know who loves sex with Hitler?
Those people.
Everyone in collective shout on their, on their Steam accounts.
Yeah.
So, um, it's just, I'm like, hey, cool.
It's the, it's the updated version of this story that we've lived through a million times already.
A bunch of, a bunch of loser-ass bus kills.
Just trying to buzz kill everybody else's shit.
Sick.
Uh, just straight, just straight up.
Just haters.
can't wait for the next round of it.
But it is,
but it is always coming down to the payment processor, right?
That's kind of,
that's what it always ends up being.
You can't argue it on like an ethical
or ideological ground with the store
because they don't give a fuck, fuck you.
You don't have any purchasing power, right?
There's like one of the things that
one of the things that happened is
do you remember there was that massive like
accuracy in game translation
fucking nonsense around like a bunch of Sega games
like infinite wealth.
And then like some translators came out afterwards
go, you know, we don't even talk about you guys in our meetings, right?
Like, you guys represent like 0.0001% of all sales.
Like, nobody gives a shit.
The like a dragon games are more successful than ever.
Shut the fuck up.
Always, always, always a fan of when a group like this, they can't tell you the real
reasons, but the real reasons are, you know, they're over here.
But we got to create some reasons that can be discussed publicly.
But the real reasons that I want to control,
you consume we don't no you'd be you'd make fun of me if i told you those so we won't bring those
up i think i should just start making fun of you right now well see here's the thing this is this is
like the saddest version of this there are so many people who are hiding their real reasons
behind plausible reasons that whenever i hear the plausible reason i just assume that that's fake
Yeah, well, that's it.
That's exactly it, you know.
But it's why the argument or debate or whatever it is, the conversation never makes any sense
because the person is lying about why they are pushing what they believe in.
They're really holding on to something that they can't share with you.
That's the real thing.
It's just too embarrassing to bring it up, you know, or to force you into it, right?
So, yep, cool, good stuff.
Love that.
I just think taking a girl swimming on a first date is really smart.
Yeah?
Tell me more.
Why?
What?
Why?
I saw a quote that was celebrating victory over porn, sick, brain, rotted petto-gamer fetishists.
So it's like, wow.
String them together.
every
accusation of confession
that's a that's a
that's a
you got a full skate on that com
oh yeah
duh
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
all right
well anyway
speaking of
a return to
to fucking prudeness
um hey brits
hey britts how you guys doing
Might I suggest you obtain a copy of Death Stranding?
Yeah, maybe.
What's going on over there, y'all?
You got a license for that internet?
Well, hold on.
Isn't it Brits and, like, Texas?
I don't know about the Texas part.
Well, I believe Texas has to, like, fucking,
I believe you have to docks yourself to jerk off in Texas or something like that.
I thought he had to shoot a gun at your dick, which.
And that's not like a law.
That's just how it is.
That's just how we get it done south of the Mason Dixon, baby.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Love it when a fucking congressman gets out a telescope and fucking stares at my junk and tries to figure out of a telescope and fucking stares at my junk and tries to figure out what's going on, what you got going on in there.
Um, listen, apparently, um, yeah, in the UK, there's, there's, uh, aggressive age verification, uh, getting implemented all across the board and, um, it's to protect the children, will they?
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Um, well, Discord has implemented it as well. Um, but the robust age checks that are, uh, coming in to stop people from accessing online content,
it can be sidestepped with a fucking just selfie mode Sam in Death Stranding.
It can also be sidestepped with like a drawing.
Cool.
Like it can be sidesteped with a huge variety of things.
Well, the thing in particular I saw that was like in the Death Stranding sidestep solution was like it asks you to open your mouth or so or close your mouth at one point to do like a verification and you can do that with selfie mode.
So, yeah, it verifies that you are an adult.
You could probably just use like a picture of the dead ass queen of England with her mouth closed and open.
And it would be like, oh, boy to the royal family.
Here's your pornography.
Well, I don't think that would pass the human check.
I don't know.
Oh, man, that's so good.
That's so good, Wully.
You were so ready for that.
Oh, I'm jealous.
so you know stiff upper lip and all that um carry on soldier on up and at him i i uh yeah it seems like
xbox is also looking to implement this too so you know xbox is willing to implement all sorts of
nonsense.
Oh, Yoko Taro had some things to, he had some opinions.
Okay.
Oh, yeah?
I'm fucking shocked, dude.
The guy who wanted the two B's ass dot zip sent to him is upset.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
Degenerate pornographer has this to say.
I don't think this is a good idea.
Noted, noted, famous, and has made his house and paid his mortgage on said degeneracy, mind you.
All right.
So that aside, there are a couple of announcements.
They finally showed off the two-player mode trailer in Night Rain.
So duo campaigns, duo expeditions is a thing.
Like, it's a bit odd because it's essentially just like a rebalancing for the existing content.
but it's coming alongside some other stuff
but it's like here's a whole new trailer to show you
like you can do two
um
should have been in the game at launch
should have been there should have been there but cool
this is one of those patches that you can't even give it a thumbs up
you just shrug and go okay cool now the game's
released well it's just it's the part where like one
and three more were more functional but like two is just
not as strange do you know that that game was originally
just three people
until someone said, well, what about offline players?
I appreciate at the very least that perhaps the
there could have been a simple scale number
which is like this many players equals damage goes up by this much
you know and health goes up by this much
but they're balancing it a little bit more than that.
So that's cool.
There was a
game called generic fighter maybe
that someone made
coming to your channel as soon as that baby is born
I mean there will be some
there will be some delays between now and then
but in the meantime I think it's a fun little
MS paint with effort style
going on with this little fighting game over here
looks kind of looks like some fun stuff
combo happen
yeah this looks all right
yeah it reminds me a bit of tough love arena
in its approach and you know what I I always am down for like confidence behind an art style
if you're going with that you know wild um old no that's not true that's a lie you there is one
time I can think that you were not behind confidence in an art style for the most part but nidhog
is always nidhog all right we so glad you knew exactly what I bet we will we can we can put
knit hog aside there is for the most part we can put it on a pedestal is what we can do
because because because you know for for any game that has like it's like kind of goofy with it
but you're like no but you believe in it you're going for it you know the again the old
um cartooning of uh pc cartooning of um pizza tower and shit like that you know i'm like yeah
go for it you can convince if you can convince me you know that you believe in it then i'll
believe in it right i was original i remember when i first saw like ah real
monsters. And I was like
what? Man, that's hideous. And I was like, what
the fuck is happening with
this art? Or you know? The guy holding
his eyeballs. That's my favorite. Yeah. Or
like Santo Bogito, you know?
And these old cartoons with really weird
art styles, but I grew to appreciate
them. Like I was like, I don't know. I have a... They're doing
a thing. This is a wild
tangent, but I have a, I have a suggestion
for the only game I would ever put alongside
Nidhog as
guy who spent the longest
on a game's art that I'm like,
that you made a huge mistake,
which is an Xbox live
arcade game that released
like 10 years ago called Dust
an Elysian tale. Oh,
I remember that thing. Yeah,
yeah, I do. Just the slickest
most well-animated
shit you've ever seen
behind just the
single most unappealing
generic furry art style
ever.
It was
just unbelievable.
It was, it was fine.
It was unapologetically furry, but it was fine.
No, it was unapologetically generic furry.
Ah, you need, you need fur plus.
I don't know what that means.
You know what it means.
I don't know what it means.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do.
You do.
No.
The good, the good, the good, the good kinds, the good ones.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Um, or what about, what do you, how do you feel about those ones where it's like, it's not even a furry?
It's just a literal mouse with a sword and shield.
I see, that's hilarious.
Like, yeah.
Like, I'm thinking about, uh, I'm thinking about, uh, what's that fucking game?
Is it small saga?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Have you seen that?
Mm-hmm.
it's got like a mouse that like their buster story is like a pocket knife no no again coming off that red wall type shit that you know Martin the warrior and so on that's that's exactly where I was going yeah um all right we had a little bit of that um speaking of art styles I just saw this but I was like when the fuck how the fuck why the fuck apparently production IG
were going to make a spice girls anime
years ago
they should have done that
and it never came to fruition
but
that's really disappointing that they didn't do that
but there's some concept
but there's some concept art
from what they wanted to do
oh hell yeah send me that
look at this shit
oh man
put that in the chat look at production IG
spice girls
that's awesome oh they should have done that
it's so cool
Cool. It's so cool. Sporty's doing her kick and babies jumping from the T-Rex and
somewhere in there like scary is probably like leading the group. Yeah. Fuck. This could have
been great. Yeah, I'm I'm sad at this at this alternate reality. That could have been something,
you know um i wish the only thing i didn't get is what year because i would love to know if this was
like was this at well i mean at the tail end you know it's got to be within a very very specific
that's right is it is it but is it but is it peak spice world or is it like you know um when
when uh victoria beckham is making a stand out name for herself
on our own
with the soccer guy
you know
is it is it
what's the range
we're talking you know
it's it's crazy
that you called that dude
the soccer guy
it's
that
that's
that is the most
out of touch thing
you have ever said
on this podcast
the one without the rape
the other one
that is
that is insane
that no not that one the other one beckham yeah that's the one
world famous for world famous so nuts for leaning out of the bathroom and saying
tell the truth oh i love that tell the truth
what car did your dad try oh such a good one
no
there we go
be honest
that thing's incredible
anyway
you know
rip to an alternate reality
where somewhere
that would have been so
spice world would have like taken over
if that was the case late 90s
right if that was
if that was 1998
it would have taken over.
We would still be in Spice World.
If Spice World, yeah,
if anime went Spice World in 1998.
Chaple-Rone would be the newest person
in the Spice Girl.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it would become like the AKB-48.
AKB-48.
Yeah, it would be a rotating cast
that would still be going, right?
And somewhere second and second place
would be like S-Club 7
on their fourth generation.
I mean, shit.
that would be
that that's a real
a candid event
that was dodged there
anyway
um
stop eating that bud
I mean shit
if they if Spice World itself
was just animated begin with
anyway
anyway
um
okay only other thing
somebody in the chat
just said
spice girls
bizarre adventure
That already happened.
Um, yeah, Stone Ocean.
What are we talking about?
That's the...
That's literally just Stone Ocean.
Yeah.
But it's also Vento Oreo.
Like, it's like, it's right there.
Like, it already happened.
I mean, they're fucking...
They're serving.
You know?
Um, they, they are indeed.
They're...
No, I don't mean, I mean that spies.
girl the stand is in
oh oh I thought I don't mean
Paschione is the spice
oh no I thought I thought that Paschone
was slutting it up and you were like
look at them spice girls go and I'm like yeah
work you know
do what you got to do
Paschone is serving cunt bro I'm telling
you talking about
Trist dog
there
all right
it's just
um
yeah i don't think that's gonna work as a title
uh
no no don't do that
probably not probably not um
put up victoria beckham and the soccer guy
just
just
because british people haven't gone through enough this week
for for maximum rage points you know
and they can't get that
and then they can't...
They're already all pent up
and they can't do anything about it.
Just spitting out your beans and toast in a rage.
Um...
Anyway, I was just gonna say that, uh,
the official Sony arcade stick is, uh, called the Flex Strike.
And they put out a trailer which showed off its features,
all of which were like pretty,
what much what you'd expect.
you know, wireless stick, et cetera.
There is one feature, which is really, really sick, actually, which is at the bottom
of the stick, you can change the gate without having to open it up.
Like, there's a straight through hole.
There's a hole going straight through that lets you change the gate right on the outside,
but that motherfucker is going to get dusty if you're not careful.
So the design is really cool for quick switching, but it better have some dust protection
on it because I can see that being a massive liability with a actual hole.
going straight through the tech.
Cool idea, though.
Well, Markman worked on it, so I'm sure it'll be fine.
I would like to.
I would like to.
And, yeah, they also...
And arcade sticks are so insane.
Like, every discussion of Arcade Stick, you just go Markman?
Markman. Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark.
Mark, Mark.
Yes, good.
Good stick, Markman.
Well, I'll have to feel the buttons to see how they feel.
You know, if they're not sad ones, I'm always got an eyebrow raised.
I'm always skeptical.
But I trust.
I will see.
then they note latency reduction as well.
They note that like, you know, hey, this can go wired if you need to as well.
So that's what everyone wants to hear, at least competitively.
But the most interesting feature showed off in that trailer was new footage of Tokon.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
In fact, all of...
I didn't know that.
There's a couple of like fake generic voxels doing Tatsimakis, but then they show you some brand new footage of Tokon.
in the trailer. You see a super, you see a launcher, you see a couple, a couple moves, a couple hits
here and there. And it was, yeah, a little bit of new, little bit of new token footage snuck in,
snuck in there. That's crazy. And Sony's pushing the fuck out of that game. It looks cool.
It looks cool. Um, I'm curious to see, uh, you know, now that we're looking at that whole
life bar thing and we're seeing the, the, you know, the soul transfer and the, the, the, it's got like,
air combos it's got these things but I'm curious um what they're going to do for the like modern
sort of equivalent slash the you know appeal to casual gamers right to casual fighting game players
or beginners I'm curious to see how much of an approach they're going to take leaning towards that
because um this is the kind of game that of course you want to put every fucking like Marvel
rivals you want to grab as many beloved characters as possible and give everyone a uh that's
excited for these characters a reason to just jump on and have fun with it right
away. Um, and, you know, we, we've already talked to death about how it doesn't matter how
easy it is to play. Losing feels bad. It's true. Losing does feel bad. Um, so, you know, I'm,
I'm, I'm wondering what they're doing because they're playing it real close to the chest on like systems
and, um, like overall extended play, you know, but,
then again it was announced like two seconds ago so we'll see um when's evo this year uh literally this weekend
oh seriously for second and third oh this this upcoming podcast will probably have news in it
it most likely will um i am waiting on some confirmation about whether or not i'm going to do something
if there is something to announce, it might be very last minute.
I might do something in regards to Evo.
Can't wait for them to announce not Timo for 2XCO.
Like, no, they're not going to announce a character.
They're going to announce no.
Not, not that one.
Okay.
Gotcha.
What about Heimerdinger?
Bro, you, if Timo ain't getting a,
And the hybrid dingers fucking dip.
No.
Uh, right.
Um, let's, uh, let's take some emails.
Oh, yeah, that new,
I was going to say that new Avatar 7 Havens thing.
There's a new avatar coming out, and they showed off the characters and some promo art.
And I'm like, oh, cool, new avatar, post-corra.
Which avatar?
Yeah.
Avatar.
No, which, no.
Yeah.
like kung fu magic avatar no because you see they made like they made post cora avatar announcement
and then what i went to go grab it two hours later james cameron was like no mine though
and literally announced in the same the same couple of day span i think it was like a day or two
later so like you just can't fucking it gets the avatar well i'll just focus on the one that's like
elementally based well that'll that'll simple which one is that one is that one is that one is that
Yeah, yeah, that there, you just, you simplified it.
No, it sucks and feels deliberate.
It feels deliberate, but like, I went-
No, it can't be because James Cameron was talking about Avatar like fucking 25 years ago.
No, I know, but the timing of when I went to go grab the, the story for this new post-Cora season,
and I couldn't get to it because Cameron released some shit yesterday about fire and ash.
That's really funny.
Was like, oh, you assholes.
And they're just legally, they just don't care.
you'd think one would go like
you're like let me
clarify the brands by pushing
airbender more or something
but they're like no we're not moving
I am avatar and you are avatar
and legally we are where we are
so is the new avatar
fuck is the new avatar
was a TV show
yes
okay do you think they're going to be able to
make a TV show
that isn't on the verge of being
canceled four years in a row
because like
Cora had some issues
but like the fact that they thought
every season they were making
was the last season they'd get to make
was like literally the core
of every single problem that show had
I mean
maybe
write it to be
self-contained
I don't know
I guess we'll find out
I mean, there's also the adult
Ang movie
and I think
Steve Yuan
got cast as
Zuko.
So there's some other stuff
coming out in relation to
Avatar. I mean, we'll see.
Sure. Sure.
And none of them
are as good as the
Chamalan
movie.
That's, but that was the one
that had the clarity to call itself the last airbender
and separate itself completely from James Cameron.
Yeah, dude.
So, this, this, this, this media franchise is like such a fucking confusing fucking mess, dude.
Like multiple live action adaptations that have nothing to do with one another
alongside like cartoon releases and, and, oh my God.
What a fucking confusing mess.
All I know is if the, um, if the original.
creators walked away from that live action show and then said, we're going to start making our own
animated things. I'm hoping those are good because I trust that the original creators still fucking
got it, you know? Anyway, let's take some letters. Hey, if you want to send it a letter, send it to
Castle Super Beastmail at Gmail.com. That's Castle Super Beastmail at Gmail.com. Oh, yeah,
by the way, I forgot to mention. I literally hurt myself this past week and went down to
urgent care. What happened? I pulled my rotator cuff.
Oh, that hurts.
It looks like in primarily my right shoulder,
but it's like extending out to like most of my back.
Damn.
You want to guess how I did it?
How'd you do it?
I was washing my hair in the shower.
Oh.
And I, you know, okay, hold on.
You know that slip you do in the shower where your foot goes,
but then you catch yourself.
Like you don't fall.
You're just like, whoop, right?
Tweak my fucking shoulder.
Oh, man.
It's getting like this for like four days.
I feel like shit, dude.
How are you the one showing up to this podcast injured?
And I'm fine.
I was like,
I was, dude.
I had like a whole.
People were taking bets on.
I had a whole fucking,
like routine ready for you coming in with like a broken finger.
Like I had like a whole thing.
Damn.
That's crazy.
Now I'm not.
But now I'm going to,
now I'm going to have.
to like chop up some of those bits
and just sprinkle them over yeah yeah
yeah there we go and over the neck when I surely
stub my toe and or
hurt myself in some other
completely benign way you can
you can get it in there
yeah no
yeah no dude I was at urgent care
because I was doing the Batman neck shit
and because Paige made me go
she's like you look like shit go to urgent care
and then I I'm like I'm
I do the triage
and then the doc comes out it was like so I
heard you fell in the shower, and I'm like, not really.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so fucking embarrassed.
I mean, I do.
I didn't even fall down.
No.
But, okay, the one plus is a rotator cuff injury, like, that's some big athlete shit.
So you can, like, see a physio, and when anyone asks, you can just pretend it was like,
yeah you were doing big sports
bro I was washing my
bald head
like
come on like
holy shit dude
it's it's oh I'm all right I'm on the mend
I like you know I felt really bad the first day
and now I'm like 30% better
okay that's cool
yeah there's though I am I am enjoying
the period of a page
being like like I go to pick up the baby
and I go to pick up the and I pick the little guy up
and I go oh oh
And Paige goes, are you okay?
And I get to be like, I'm fine.
I'm completely fine.
She's like, you don't look fine.
And I'm like,
and she's like, you really look, you sound like shit.
I'm like, no, I'm fine.
I'm completely fine.
I'm telling you, just come up with a good cover story, you know?
Well, the cover story, because Paige got to the internet first,
was that like I tore my asshole.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, right.
And then I was like,
you, and then I was like,
it's actually more embarrassing
than I tore my asshole.
It's actually that I heard it
in the shower washing my hair.
I mean, I guess it depends.
There's a lot of ways one can tear their asshole.
You can tear it sizing up,
or you can,
or you can tear it.
I tripped.
I tripped.
I tripped.
One in a million shot, Doc.
Yeah.
One in a million.
Mm.
Or you could just have a lack of fiber
and, you know,
I mean, shit.
I mean, we've all been there at one point in our life.
I regretfully can say that, yes, we have.
I think every single person has had a moment in their life, and you're like, oh, I've, I've, I've bit off more than I can choose.
I've missed, I've made a mistake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll look, man, I'll say this, you know, those, um, those, uh, Japanese-style traditional toilets or the Chinese-style traditional toilets or the Chinese-style traditional toilets, so the Chinese-huh.
on toilet's where you're squatting.
Those things are nightmarish and scary
and I'm so afraid of them. I'm so
afraid of them. I'm so afraid, dude.
Deathly afraid of them. And
I saw one once
and I was like,
oh God, oh Jesus, oh dear.
What do we even
know? But
there is something to
at least the squatting part of it
that's healthy for you.
You know?
Yeah.
I mean, the fact
that we sit there
at an unnatural
angle is doing all kinds of...
I got the stool, bro.
I got the stool.
Okay, because I'm saying
it's doing all kinds of unnatural damage
but the embarrassment
of falling in is too scary
that I'm like, I don't care.
I don't care.
Not only do I got the stool.
I'll take that at 10 out of 10 times.
I bought the fucking
squatty potty off Amazon, the wooden
one, the fancy bamboo one for
you know, class. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not only that, but I remember, I remember
the week that I bought it
the week that I bought it
you came over to my house and saw
it and we're like this
fucking guy's a little fucking stool
if you can't get him with his legs and I was
like please do not make fun
of my toilet stool
and then the very next weekend
we were in Atlanta
and we were in a cab
and I was teasing you about some
shit and it was you
you and me Matt
Liam and George
and the cab
and I was on your shit
about something and you were like
yeah well this motherfucker has a tiny
little stool in his toilet
because he's too short to reach the bowl
and I was like
please don't make fun of my toilet
I mean you had me a bullet
you know what do you want me to do with it
not shoot me
don't shoot me with the bullet
and now
and now
Now?
Yeah.
We're in the toilet stool world.
Right?
There you go.
It's good to do.
God's ass.
I'll tell you.
And if you're young right now and you don't know what we're talking about, you'll get there.
Don't you worry.
Yeah.
This will catch up to you.
It might take a couple years, but you'll feel it.
You know, one day you'll be like, oh, what's going on?
And then like, you'll think back to this podcast and be like, shit.
They were right.
One day.
One day, young man, young woman, you're going to be like,
ha, another another uneventful day on the toilet.
I'm completely done.
And then you'll stand up and you're going to be like, I'm not done?
And you'll sit back down and you'll be like, I'm completely done.
And you'll stand back up and go, what is happening?
What is happening?
I need a stool.
Because of the biomechanics.
I love my toilet stool.
I had to use a public restroom recently, and I was like, what does happen?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I forgot the toilets don't come with these.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I've talked.
Depending on the public toilet, I swear to God, yes, my fucking legs will dangle off the side of the bowl.
I've already described life without a bidet is just not worth living, you know, at this point in time.
You just, you can't go back to a world.
of tarnished a world of being unclean and um no this this also helps with that because uh you know
you got a little bit of an early warning system on on the aforementioned problems you know let me
let me ask you this might be a little personal this might be a little personal do you prefer a
soft bidet or like the scraper i have settings i have configurations yeah yeah there's there's a
There's there's the button for like, oh, that's relaxing.
And there's like, no, no, now, now, now, now, now, now by default, by default, when I just, when I walk in that room, you know, that setting is on power washing.
Yeah, that's, yeah, that's, yeah, that's, I agree, I agree.
We are power washing, right?
If I'm going to be using a hose, I'm going to put my thumb over the tip of the hose and really get that pressure going.
Thank you.
You ever see someone just doing, like, their driveway and just getting just like all,
Like, oh, the floor is so clean.
Just, just, just, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
You ever get caught washing, pressure washing videos on, on YouTube?
Oh, caught.
I mean, I'm in there.
I'm telling you.
Yeah, no.
You know what my favorite thing about a pressure washing video on YouTube is?
The tons of comments that are like, man, I should, I bet, I bet my neighborhood could
use a pressure washer.
How much of the, how much does the machine cost cost $1,300?
I bet I bet I could make that back and just power wash driveways on the weekend.
Yeah.
No.
I mean, I want my, I want my, I want my.
my bidet trying to stop a civil rights march.
I want to figure out what will harm me and back it off a little.
Agreed.
Agreed.
That's how I do, um, that's how I do, uh, shower heat.
Yep.
I go, what's going to boil my skin off my body?
All right.
Now let's back it off a little.
Castle Super Beast.
at gmail.com
Castle superbeast mail
at gmail.com
Um, hey,
look at that. Art style
changes you just weren't into.
Oh my God. Are you fucking seriously?
Dear human canvas, wily, and don't tattoo me
all come, Pat. Art style changes.
That's not, no. That's funny. That's funny.
I'll cry. It's different.
Um,
You draw art, I see art, you think.
I like that other art, and bam, your art's different now.
Often a good thing.
Charlie Brown and Bugs Bunny wouldn't look the way they do until about five years.
Iraqi style is now so unique that it's redefined, that it's refined and it'd be hard to mistake.
But in what little we've seen of Kingdom Hearts 4, Sora just looks like a guy.
A very pretty guy, but a guy, and that kind of sucks.
In the same vein, if Square ever did an FF9 remake, I'm worried they'd suck the whimsy.
out of those designs.
So aside from Nidhog 2,
what's an art style change?
God damn it.
You motherfucker.
That just didn't work for you.
With the easy one off the table.
No, that's like the easiest ever.
Oh, man.
I've talked about it, so it's kind of a layup here,
but I've always been just turned off by EverQuest.
I don't even care what's happening.
I just...
You dislike EverQuest's art style.
so much that it leaked
into like adjacent
art styles for reminding
you of EverQuest. Foolishly so
from a place of ignorance not knowing
what the truth contents
were. Now
I'll tell you though, Wolves
as silly as that was
at a time. EverQuest's
art is really
bad. EverQuest
2's art is
maybe the worst
in a video game I've ever seen.
in my life. Oh, boy.
Oh, are you not, is it not
ringing a bell?
EverQuest 2 is like the absolute
worst decision was made at every
stage of development.
It's the game on the cover
of your video card.
Yeah. It's that. It's that
game.
It's the fucking,
like every sound blaster
product
from years ago.
with these characters on it.
God damn.
It just,
it looked,
it looked God awful
the very first day it was shown.
Look at,
and by comparison,
it was coming out
alongside World of Warcraft,
which was colorful,
all stylish.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
And you got this Lionel Reject over here.
Look how much more detailed
the EverQuest characters look
and the whole world decided,
no.
Aw, man.
Well, now Wow is kind of like a, it's become genericized because of how quintessential it's been.
But looking at these screenshots, I'm like, oh, no, that distinct armor and glowing purple and green and pink and such shit, like, would have looked way more unique if this is what you're comparing it to.
A hundred percent, the most generic ever.
Tangential and probably a little more divisive on this because I know that the contents are appreciated by people.
but I've taken
issue with binary domains
appearance
in the past
I've taken
what's the word
is it umbrage or I've taken
yeah you can say umbrage
yeah I've taken umbrage with it
you know
so I say to you
person taking umbrage
in binary domains art style
um
that game's art style
has two parts
one is literally every single screenshot you've ever seen of it
and the second is how good the robots look
when they completely fly apart into a million pieces
when you shoot them okay
because people are saying
because that part looks fucking unbelievable
okay because people are saying
no no no wooly you just mean big bow
and I'm like no no no no no not just big bow
the robots I think they look lame
I know they look like I robot
They look like lame,
I robot dumb shit.
Exactly.
And I'm looking at screenshots of it.
Here's,
and it looks like shit to me.
The tough one, right?
Because now we live in a new context in which so many more people have played
like a dragon games.
And like, that game could be happening in the background of Yakuza Phi.
Right, right.
Okay.
No, it couldn't.
But like, now that, now that everyone in the whole world has,
the context of what it feels like to play a yakuza game or like a dragon game man that is that is just
a fucking third person shooter or like a drag version of it which but robots which i have the context
to appreciate now and and and and instead of secret koreans or secret koreans or secret koreans
it's secret robots it's secret robots yeah and so no with that context and all that i get it
plus i understand every time as it's come up that people like no i ruled i'm like yeah i'm not i'm not
talking about rule it's actually super i'm not talking about that i'm not talking about that
I'm just saying I think it looks like shit.
Like, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's what I'm saying.
It does have a robot with a, with a scarf, though.
Is it a, is it a long flowing scarf?
Yes.
Oh.
He's French, you see.
Oh.
But not like strider scarf.
Uh, no, more like common rider the first.
Oh, okay.
It's you go.
Come on the second scarf.
Okay, okay.
All right.
I see you.
Um, let's see.
let's see uh here's one coming through my steam list right now and just pull out a shit ass art style
in a few minutes all right in the meantime uh steve asks dear castle super dads on the subject
of waiting for the full release of early access games um i'm holding off on hades two with patient
but eager anticipation delta room is that early access would i be better off waiting till chapters are
out or jumping in now does the game acknowledge or play into its piecemeal
release or would that hurt that the experience? I played a complete release.
Oh, should I play a complete release at a later date?
No, it's an episodic game.
Meant to be played on release.
Delta Root is absolutely an episodic game. It is not early access.
Okay. These parts are not meant to be played in a row.
Oh, no. Three and four obviously are because they release simultaneously. But no, the games
seem to be, how do I put this? The games are built with the
assumption that you are going to theory craft and fan art yourself into a stupor for a year
plus in between releases okay um it it is it is not it is like a telltale walking dead
like style episodic release that is just all over the place in terms of timing okay it is it is
definitely not an early access game because the feeling of the first especially me i mean
with the second that came along with the first I remember the feeling of like this is a demo
for a preview of a full thing and the intention is for is for Toby to have you sit and play it
all together like another undertale when it's done was what I kind of thought was happening so
so it's the strange so I don't Deltaroon kind of like fights classification because
the first half of the so right now there's four chapters the first half of the game is a demo
yeah and only exists in demo form yeah the middle third of the total game came out simultaneously but
it's two different episodes and then the fifth part is coming out in like a year and it's just like
strange yeah he's putting it out when he's putting it out okay there is um there is a mini game
that uh in in chapter four that Toby Fox showed some family
members and asked what they thought
and they said, I think
you are having a mental breakdown about
how long your game is taking to come out.
From the outside.
And Toby was like, yes.
Yeah. From the outside, I'll say
that this doesn't feel like what Steve
is kind of worried about is the idea of early
access progress getting erased and content
getting improved over time.
It doesn't seem like Delta Rune is being released
in such a way where, A, you'll ever
have that happen where the game will get updated
to include new things or remove things.
Yeah.
But what you're getting is meant to be played
when he releases it, right?
Like chapter one is done. Chapter two is done.
Chapter three is done. Chapter four is done.
The only changes that it will ever be made is like,
oh, I found a soft lock.
Or this boss fight actually ended up
being way harder than I
anticipated for the playtesters. And I would even say
the proof is that if three and four
released with a massive patch
an overhaul to one and two,
then you would have had a, like,
a thing to worry about.
Nah, it was very minor.
But they didn't do that, right?
They didn't add any new content or, like,
they didn't go back and do anything.
They rolled one and two into the new version of a RPG,
and then they fixed the soft lock here and a visual bug there.
Yeah.
So, Hades 2, by the way, is a really good example of, like,
have you been playing Hades 2 up until now?
now is the time to stop because they announced that the very next patch will be the final.
It will be 1.0. Yeah.
And that upon 1.0 release, there is some kind of resource that I'm not familiar with,
but they're like, yeah, we're going to junk all of those resources in your safe files into other resources
so that you can't just walk up to a character and see the credits.
Okay, okay. Yeah. I mean, we learned it the first time, right?
I've definitely
you was like okay
they are going to give you a whole
lot of lead in and fun but if you fall
into temptation you will only self-effer it
later when one point of releases so
I've steered clear
but that's a game that's telling you like
it will change as you go and placeholder
characters are showing up and shit
that delta runate that. Like Narcissus didn't
have a piece of art until like a couple months
ago
uh all right
here we go let's take one
over here
um
dear super dad man of castle
super beast
uh I recently learned
uh in a video from F4 Amy on YouTube
that during the Wii era
developers on the Wii shop were only paid upon
releasing on reaching a threshold of copies sold
this changed when the switch launched
where every dev got paid for every copy they sell
I feel like these changes have contributed to
a lot of spam on the e-shop however the previous model caused
losses for indie developers who published on the platform and didn't get enough sales.
Like, it happened to the devs from Retro City Rampage.
What do you think it's a better system is a better system to manage the e-shop?
Congratulations to everyone on the podcast, keep on keeping on.
I don't give a fuck about what it means to the e-shop, but if you sell a copy, you should get paid.
That's literally it.
Like, this is a very, like, the fact that you're, like, you're asking like, oh, what's better is like, what about the spam that comes to the issue?
No, I don't give a shit.
That's insanity.
Somebody makes a thing and they sell it.
and then they don't get the money or Nintendo's
going to hold back that threshold or fuck that no
you get a copy for everything you sold because
someone bought a thing that you sold like
it's crazy there's no justification
for sold it give me money
there's no justification for that
the spam or the
shovelware or whatever the
case is it's like yeah if it
sucks when that happens when a platform
goes from something where it's curated
quality feeling to being more
open ended but if you're
trading off people who deserve
of money not getting it for arbitrary
shit-ass reasons, that's insanity.
Yeah, nonsense. So, no. You know,
Steam is full of the most shovelware
of any platform of all time,
but it's also just like
where people put their shit out and
like, you know, there's a
there's an open-endedness to that
that is, it's just more
important that you get paid for what you make.
There shouldn't be any part of the vibe
that is relevant to that. I feel like
I have a really strong political stance
and that political stance is, fuck
you, pay me. Also, those guys too. They can get paid too. Pay people. Good stance. It's good.
It's good. You should pay for things. I did it. I solved society.
Or you can be like Freddie Wong who put out that his movie and was like, if you're going to pirate my movie, then I'm going to upload the Forest K freshest, sickest version of it ever.
And I'm going to put a video in front of me going, hey, so you pirated this? That's cool. Here's the best version of it.
Also, if you want to throw me something, you can over here. Thanks. And he torrented it himself.
You know, and he's like, I've been waiting my whole career to upload this, to do this, you know, with a full-on release.
But yes.
Um, all right. Last one over here.
All right. Someone, the best one.
Hello, woolly. Saddam is a freak pick. And Pat, uh, can.
Kaine slash Senna are freak picks.
With the response on the
Reddit to V's trailer being so mid
and people crying about the freak picks instead,
I've now become anti-freak.
It is my understanding that pick rates
for freaks have been relatively low
in both fighting games and League of Legends
simultaneously. Most people do not
like playing against these characters either.
You've said that a freak pick can just be
mechanically weird amongst their peers.
Pat has claimed that there must be a non-human element.
could Brom or Alawi not be argued to be freaks in mechanics even if not in looks?
Diversity is good for spicing things up and I understand that there are many non-human
humanoids on the league roster to pick but will Yumi really be the one to save 2XCO?
Long winded I know but my deepest congratulations.
Oh thank you very much.
Signed someone who waited nine years for Vi in Project L.
So I feel like when we talk about freak picks, like, realistically, like we're, we're just, we're being goofy and we're talking about what we think is rad and should exist for fun in a roster.
But I think there's that stat that shows you like, whether it was league, most popular characters in Asia versus in North America.
and in Asia it was all the humanoid super pretty cool looking characters and in North America there was a lot of like edgy cool freaks but not quite like full on freak it was just kind of like you know fireheaded armor guys and stuff like that you know um realistically it just needs to have the most popular characters and it needs to have a whole lot of them realistically right so this is only a discussion that
that we get to have because there's only 10 characters
at launch. If there were 40 characters, then
make
like five of them
abject weirdos mechanically
right? And
like 35 normies and
the discussion will go away. Yeah.
And again, this is a
I want to say this is a
specific angle we're taking on because
the roster having fun
wild stuff going on is more
interesting to talk about in the end
and to play. But
for us for the game to be successful it's it's more about the the number at that point and then getting all the beloved ones in there um i think
if we're going to keep using it as an example because of you know how well it's doing things and if it's not the same genre but marvel rivals
marvel rivals is not particularly rife with freak picks but they got all the beloved's in there and they got a few left field characters certainly
but they're all just pretty cool generally beloved you know characters and then you get like um jeff as a as a a left fielder there you know but everyone else is like pretty safe and and it's doing that's what people want
the other thing is that like in league of legends like there there are some obvious exceptions like this is like don't take this as a as a as as sacrosanct because but like freak weirdos
tend to have freak weirdo mechanics, right?
Like, Timo is a cute little guy, right?
But Timo also, like, floods the screen with bullshit trap nightmare fuel, right?
Like, he's a mechanically weirdo, asshole character to play against, right?
Um, but even within that context, there are a ton of cool-looking human characters
that have weirder movesets or mechanics that are also not into it.
Like 2XCO, like 2XCO feels like it's not quite as bad, but it's giving like SVC chaos energy of like, well, what if?
Like, you know what the most popular archetype is?
Shodos.
What if it was all showtos?
What if, what if 19 showtos?
Huh?
Um, now, if you dial the knob all the way up to 11 on Freak, you get an Arakune style
character, which makes you not want to play the video game.
Yeah, that would be
Timo or fiddlesticks.
Would Timo be Arakune?
Would it be that bad?
Yeah?
I got to tell you, dude, like the fun
in playing Timo is
like feeling a person
who you've blocked from talking
to you, piss their pants just by seeing
how their character moves.
Like, just, like, you know, you know what I'm getting
at here? Oh.
Like, just absolute, like, crash out
rage, shit yourself.
like placing bombs on your on your inputs like well no no because because in in league right you have your lane
and timos entire game plan is turning invisible and sniping you as you walk into invisible minds right right right yeah
yeah putting barating fucking shit ever and it's awesome so it is actually very very similar to ericune
it's like just flood the screen with garbage yeah or or a testament um old testament
would put a lot of invisible traps on the screen,
or even Naoto.
Invisible traps on screen while sniping you.
No, Naoto is in P4A is absolutely what Timo would do.
Okay, yeah, there we go, there we go.
Mine's bombs gun.
Also.
Yeah, yeah, there you go.
And she was the, I loved fighting Naotowto.
That was my favorite matchup in that game.
It's just like the 2XK roster doesn't have anybody that has any,
like, Ilawi is the strangest character on the roster.
and Ilawi is also like very normal.
The other thing about the 2xK roster,
not even in terms of freaks,
but it also is really poorly divided
between the game's geographic regions
and it's also poorly divided between lanes.
Oh, who represents what lanes of the split?
There's absolutely no rhyme or reason.
Like if you had 15 characters in that game or 16,
you could have three for each lane.
Should that factor though,
or should it factor for who would be best for a fighting game?
who's something from the original game should factor into it in some way the like the most popular that would work for this for the genre you know feels like the priority i mean they did literally talk about this in that one developer thing where they said like yeah a mixture of you know um popularity and variety and you know all those other things but zero characters from uh the sunken aisles there's zero
characters from
Bilgewater on that.
There are zero
characters from
the Yordel area.
I think there are like
five from Zown.
But listen,
take it from me,
writer,
you know,
as somebody who is
very happy
with Vi as a
cool boxer in Project
L,
as somebody who's like,
that's all I wanted.
I got what I wanted out of that.
Oh, that way.
Right.
I forgot it.
Yeah.
You know,
then I still say
I hear that
describing it freak pick or not it's just about the numbers right if the numbers go up this
conversation becomes irrelevant the other thing and this is a genuine i know we're kind of overdoing
it but like this is one of those things it's like it is a victim of its own development cycle
because league has a huge roster like and a lot of those characters have really cool mechanics
and you've gotten to see a lot of those mechanics in the moba in the uh turn based RPG and in run
Terra, right? And be like, okay, how would this character work across multiple things?
So people have had like five, six, seven, eight, nine years to theory craft how fucking
awesome Tam Kinch the evil catfish would be in a fucking fighting game.
And then you get like, V. And you're like, well, what's Vi? Oh, she's going to punch you.
She doesn't, she doesn't have any juggling nonsense going on. She's just going to hit you like
a boxer, right?
Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, I mean, it's, I
I'm sure they're, I wonder what designs were like in the cutting room floor for like some
version of the fighting game that had lanes or, you know, something a little more wild and
aggressive and, and hearkening back to the original mobile style. Um, but at the very least I
can say this, like I'm, this is one of those, this is one of those games that we, I love and
have fun with how it plays and I'm at least looking forward to that part of it. Um, the, the, the finning,
the race for the crown has thinned immediately
and the games that have been announced
just yesterday are already gone
before tomorrow because NenPact
is like the
I believe the worst review
like the worst of the it was the bottom
it's a game for no one
it's a game for no one man you know
that was not nine years in development
closer to nine months it felt like
but holy shit
Talk about the opposite end of the spectrum on that one.
I made a tweet on Blue Sky that was like if the final roster comes out and the last two characters are Blitz and Timo and I can play Blitz and Timo, that means the game's good and I will remove all complaints about 2XCO and say it's a good game.
And I feel like that's like because the roster is so small, a version of that exists for everyone who has ever played League of Legends where it's like, if I say, okay, when can I play the team of characters that I want?
want to play that I kind of expect to be able to play I can't okay game sucks I will I will come
back to this when I can play your characters I want to play the part of this conversation that I
always am like is just the part where it's like but it's not it doesn't suck it's a fun fighting game
to play but the but they just you need roster yeah but the the promise of a dragon ball game
is I can play as my favorite dragon ball characters mm-hmm the promise of League of Legends
I can play as the League of Legends characters and guess what there's a
billion of those
completely
completely true
in fact
there are
I can't think
of a larger
roster
IP to pick
from
that's not just
like every single
comic book
character from
Marvel or DC
that's not Marvel
yeah you know
like a stable
you know
in terms of just like
it's a game
with characters in it
like that is the
one with the most
to pick from
you know
like I have a list
of like five to
because I made
the
about Blitz and Timo as like a team
but like I could give you a list of like
10 characters right now that if
one of them got in
I'd be like games good
right
if fiddlesticks or Senna or
Bard or
um
uh Timo
or uh fucking
Ophilios or Morton Kaiser
like got in I
or Nautilus I'd be like oh that game's great
that's a great game everyone should play
or thrash like
Like that
Like right away
I'd be like oh the game's good now
So here's the problem right
Because that's so relative
That list I'm
Oh yeah absolutely
It's totally relative
My like
There's like half the people in here
Probably go I hate those fucking characters
Pat your taste sucks shit
It's all about set
And gin and leesin
And Lux
So like three of the characters
I called out from like
four or five years
ago showed up
in this final roster being
Yasuo, Vi, and
I'llawi. Like, I was like, I would
love for those characters to show up. And they did
so I'm like, well, that's cool.
And I got what I wanted.
You know what, dude?
There is also,
there is also a list of characters
that if they get announced, I'm like, this
game is dead forever.
Like, there's the opposite.
Oh. Like, if Garin or Lux
or a fucking Yasuo's
brother get announced.
Oh,
Yasuo's brother.
Wait, isn't Lux the most
popular, like, picked, or the most picked?
She's one of the most popular, yeah, she's also boring
as shit, and she's Garen's sister.
But if she's the most
popular, I mean,
you got to feed the fishes, I don't know.
I don't care.
Okay, well,
that old list, I still have it from...
I don't care for Lux.
Don't care for her.
Also, they seem to be like,
aiming for older characters, which they should stop.
They should be aiming for newer characters because newer league characters are more interesting
than old league characters.
The rest of my list was Riven, Udir, Blitzkrack, Folly Bear, Lee, Sin, Thresh.
Master Yee.
Master Ye is in that game.
That game sucked.
Like, dude, you might as well put ash in there, okay?
I don't even
I don't even know what that means
I just look
I just
I'm gonna ask the live audience
if Master Ye gets in that game
is like the next announced character
or is that game
fucking cooked or is it fucking cooked
dude
holy shit
I don't
I don't know what that means
but I was like that
that looks cool
that can work
oh my God
it would be the funniest
fucking thing in the world dude
Oh, shit. That's great.
All right.
I need Tom Cannon to tell me how many characters are going to come out a year.
Like every version of this conversation could just die in its crib if he said eight characters a year.
So what you could just get is a roadmap with a bunch of silhouettes.
Right?
You can't do that.
Everyone, league people will fucking know every single character on that list.
You can't do a silhouette.
A bunch of question marks then.
And they have, with colors, a bunch of colored question marks.
That one's pink.
What does it mean?
There.
That'll do.
That will do.
It means it's Ionia.
That's what it means.
Does it have to be?
Yes.
That's what it fucking means.
It'd be, uh, Iurelia, the bitch with the knives.
Or, um, that's what it would be.
If it was, if it was like light yellow, it means Azir is coming.
Like, I can tell you, or Renectron.
There's no way to hide these characters outside of giving people nothing.
I swear to God.
I mean, we've talked about the part where, like, someone from Arcane, someone like Ambeza feels, you know, like they might cut the line.
They might cut the line.
Ambeza would feel like genuinely the worst character in the entire world to put in.
Because it's just from the show.
I know, I know, I know.
That's what I'm saying.
Like,
that would be the worst.
The skipping of the line with a hundred people waiting to be like, like 200, man.
Like, oh my God, dude.
Oh, there's no winning.
There's no winning.
You have to just throw them out.
It is crazy how there is no winning on this roster.
Like, like everyone's waiting for the final two and it will disappoint everyone.
Like literally everyone will be disappointed.
with the final two characters on this roster
which is probably going to be Akali and Blitz
and Blitz is the most
boringest weirdo they can have
and it's like
no there were there are like multiple
other chain hook characters
that are more interesting like
Thresh and not dude
fucking hell
or Pike even
this is this is fucking Poken
is what it is
oh yeah absolutely it's Poken
this is Pocan
absolutely
Okay, sure, all the fighting types
But you can't be all fighting types
I have to agree that that decision was fucking stupid
Like I get it
Fuck off, that's so dumb
Pokemon has like fucking 17 types
And you're gonna limit them to shut up
No, no no no they didn't they didn't
That's why you get
No, no but that was like the original like expectation
Yeah, no no
But then it's like of course you're gonna get fucking
Lucha Pikachu and and um
you know, what you might call it.
Anyway, yeah, all of that.
But it's that, it's that, it's that, again,
that no winning off the roster thing.
Um, all right.
You should never have announced this game.
The nuclear, I can't follow you into the nuclear escalation, all right?
Okay.
As somebody who loves the way it plays and is looking forward to playing it,
I cannot follow you.
They should never have announced.
this game until
they were going to do play tests.
Let's say a year ago, right?
Because
they're trapped in the
expectation of time. Do you remember
when I made a big,
big list of the worst
possible roster ever
and put it on Twitter?
And that roster was like 40 characters.
And I was like
there's no, like this is the worst
picks they can ever do. And now
I'm like, oh my God, I wish.
They had that fucking roster.
If I could go back in time, I would say actually hide the acquisition of Radiant games by Riot.
Oh, that's a little tough.
That kind of fucked on them.
Actually make it so that nobody knew they got bought and that this then got announced as a game that was just happening, you know?
Because they need to.
Your schedule is fucked after that.
I really want like a statement that's like, hey, we are willing to cut corners to get characters.
Okay, okay, okay, the model will show up on the character select screen, and you can pick them, but they have no moves.
All right?
They'll just be there, though.
Just look at it.
Well, here's the thing, and I really mean this.
They should have made the game simpler.
The characters in league have four special moves and a passive.
So you could have done something like that.
They should have made these characters with four special moves and a passive and be, like, really simple and just turn them the fuck out.
I can't wait to fucking run some five combos.
I don't give a shit, man.
And you know what?
It should have been teams of five.
Sure.
It should have been teams of five.
Yeah.
And it should have launched with 200 plus fighters.
I got half of my list, so I'm satisfied.
Your list is for bitches, dude.
I got my puncher.
I got my fucking, my big girl.
We're good.
All right, later.