Castle Super Beast - CSB335: NONE OF YOU MATTER

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Woolz In The Lab Plushie ONLY AVAILABLE THIS MONTH https://www.makeship.com/products/woolz-in-the-lab Older Twitch VODs are now being upl...oaded to the new channel: https://www.youtube.com/@CastleSuperBeastArchive Woolie Is Now a Dad Beware The Crunchy Mom Pipeline The Story of Silksong's Development Is There Is No Story Please Stop Wavedashing Sir, This is Battlefield Your Created OC Slot in a Beloved IP MUST be Base Roster Watch live: twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://shopify.com/superbeast to sign up for your $1-per-month trial period. - Go to http://factormeals.com/castle50off and use code castle50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year - Click this link https://boot.dev/?promo=CASTLESUPERBEAST and use my code  CASTLESUPERBEAST  to get 25% off your first payment for boot.dev. Silksong will be out on Sept. 4. Why 'Silksong' Took Seven Years to Make "We've been having fun," Gibson said. "This whole thing is just a vehicle for our creativity anyway. It's nice to make fun things." 2XKO's Grappler Character Has Been Leaked...By Riot Games  NetEase Given Green Light by Marvel to Create Original Characters for Marvel Rivals, Devs Say "Stay Tuned" Kirby Air Riders Direct – 19/08/2025 "AI was introduced by Microsoft as mandatory a while ago. The goal for last year, if I recall correctly, was having a 70 or 80% daily usage of AI on general tasks. The goal for this year was that every artist, designer, developer, even managers have to use it on a daily basis." Sony sells its co-ownership stake in EVO, will return as sponsor - Esports company NODWIN Gaming is buying the stake to take on co-ownership of EVO, with fellow owner RTS getting investment from Qiddiya. Capcom made a new Kimberly New Challenger art to make up for the results of the art contest Because the last one was AI generated  

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:37 Hey, dude, what's up? What's going on with you this week? Hi, man. Hello. Hello. How you doing? Yo, what the fuck is sleep, bro? Oh.
Starting point is 00:01:01 What the fuck? Hey, you know what, dude? Hey, let me tell you, that first three months, just get through that first three months. Just don't drop them. Don't get to. forced and you're solid. Yep, yep, yeah, yeah, no, I think about, I, what I, I have moments where I'm kind of just thinking, like, of people, I'm like, if you're not in the most rock solid, like, situation, in, in terms of, oh, okay, yeah, all right, let's do it. Let's go into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How?
Starting point is 00:01:38 Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. How does anyone on a crumbling foundation? Oh, man. Hey, you know what? Hey, you know what? We're having a kind of rocky thing. We're fighting more.
Starting point is 00:01:51 You know what we should do? Let's do something that will cause us to be at the highest level of stress we've ever been at our entire lives. I can't. Together. Together. I can't even begin to fathom. Um, oh, yeah. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:02:10 So, yeah, I had to kick this, uh, stream back, uh, a little bit there because, uh, you know, feeding. Yeah. Cluster feeding. Yeah, dude. You sore? I mean, we're doing, we're doing all of it. We're getting all kinds. We're doing, there's all kinds of milk getting in there.
Starting point is 00:02:31 The, um, um, um, yeah, man. Listen, I'm literally sleep deprived and my functions are not going to function. Hey, do you want to hear something awesome, dude? Yes. I'm also sleep deprived from the version of events that you'll experience in two years, which is my little guy just at 5.30 in the morning just went, ah, for no reason. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. and like it's just funny too because like um you know trying to organize any like literally anything anything at all is just complete doesn't exist like it took like three like it it took so long to get to a task because it's just every two hours three up go screen like yeah um so before before we engage in the back and forth dad. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:03:40 It's shit so hard. Parenting is tough. And sound like massive pussies. Congratulations. And also big shoutouts to your wonderful wife for doing a great job. Going through all of that with Paige, my wife, was really a very eye-opening experience of like, wow. It is hard over here, but like, oh, this is right where I left it.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Punch mom. Punch mom is what you call an original gangster. Uh-huh. This is like bulletproof, incredible. The level of absolute untouchable resilience was ridiculous through the whole thing. and I mean, the process itself, you know, was like there was a lot of luck that things went smoothly in some case in some ways and or some ways where things didn't go as smoothly. But like, yeah, watching that and participating in the like support role to the best of our ability, you're watching some shit go down that's like. like beyond Herculean.
Starting point is 00:05:06 It was insane. Holy shit. Yeah, I don't even know. I'm like, I don't even, I'm all over the place on thoughts. But thank you very much. I much appreciated. Took home, took home a Punch Girl. And she is doing her job, which is pissing and shitting with a D.
Starting point is 00:05:34 and farting and eating and crying and just doing it all at the same time. How's your swaddling? We are swaddling effectively. We're swaddling well. And let me tell you something, right? We, there was a moment where some throwup got into some little spit up, got into like the snoo. And so we took it off to go wash the top and switched over to. just the regular bassinet
Starting point is 00:06:06 and watched as the rolling into danger zone started to occur because you're not supposed to let them pass out on the sides or on the front. And then everything else about that and we're like, oh my God, the snoo is saving our lives. Like, it's not even funny how much
Starting point is 00:06:22 this thing with the swaddle that Titans and Desch does this and has the noise going is like controlling the situation. So like, here's the thing, man. I'm thinking back to swaddling and, Nant swaddling is like genuinely one of my favorite parts of little tiny baby time.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Because making a tightly packed safe and unable to throw themselves to the floor baby burrito is deeply satisfying. Yes. It's nice to see when they cannot destroy themselves. I appreciate that. Don't want to see. Oh, you're pulling your own hair or you're gouging your own. eyes because you don't know what arms are.
Starting point is 00:07:07 And yes, exactly. I'm waking yourself up by punching yourself because that's what your body spasms. Oh, man. The body spasms just keep you up. Yeah. And then just bam, bam, bam, no, bam. Oh, no, they're back awake. Oh, we miss the nap window.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Here we go. And just, and startling yourself awake in the middle of the night to see like, did I hear a noise or did I see it? Like, what's happening over there? You're just, you're, every little, every little sound is, is caused for, a nine alarm fire and I'm kind of looking over at the at the the fucking looking over at the crib expecting to see a smash brother's light shoot out of it you know failure like it's um listen I have no big like um worded speech or anything to give you because I'm still going
Starting point is 00:08:01 through it it's still happening I have no thoughts process I have no, like every, every process thought is ongoing as we speak. You will have. So, I don't know. Process thoughts in six months. Yeah, I have nothing like profound or useful to say to anyone except, the only thing you need to think about when you're not on this camera is fed, diaper, sleepy. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:08:34 No, yes. That's it. Those four. And, you know, even taking the time to be on this camera is like, this, this is, you know, how the lights are going to stay on. But it would be nice if we didn't have to. That'd be cool. Well, yeah, Wully, a lot of things would be nice. But at least you're not working in a fucking coal mine.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Of course. Of course. Or in a, you know, any situation where you're like, I've got to tell you, man. Like, you know, here's the thing. working from we're very blessed yes because dad comes home after being a million years light years away right we're very blessed yeah but like on top of that what like you're gonna really feel that blessing like very intensely over the next couple of months because you much like me and unlike most other dads will get a text message and go i gotta go and that's an option
Starting point is 00:09:31 available to you instead of just like well deal with it I guess they'll fucking figure it out I'm expecting potentially you know one or two of those at any moment because yeah there's a schedule to adhere to but for the most part you know
Starting point is 00:09:47 I don't think Punch Girl gives a fuck about the schedule but you know Baby has not read the manual you know we did we read what to expect but baby has not read what to expect. So baby gives no fucks.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Trimester, man. Yes, exactly. That's just a big fetus on the outside. Mm-hmm. Um, horrible big fetus, but still. I mean, tiny and, and perfect and just, just sitting there making those noises.
Starting point is 00:10:20 It's the, you got, you got those goo-go-goggas? It's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the cartoony sound of like, like, doing, during the, like, okay, like day one, day two, skin to skin, especially was like super duper chill because the level of just like sleep recovery after being birth required to get all your energy back means that you're going to just pass the fuck out.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And so she passed the fuck out. And you're hearing actual cartoon like, huh. Oh, absolutely. He's just like, are you real? Is this a real living thing?
Starting point is 00:10:59 Let me ask you, man. When you went home, did you have that feeling walking out where you're like, okay, so who's going to who's going to come home with me to help me do this? Did you have that feeling in your chest? Oh, they just let me leave? They just let us leave? I mean, like, not exactly that, but it's more just like, yo, holy shit, here we go. It's going down. And I don't know how like, okay, there are going to be, I'm going to send you things that are not.
Starting point is 00:11:30 Not for them, but I'm going to send it to you. For, for. Yeah. So, uh, here is as soon as we walked in the door. Yeah. Uh, here is, uh, basically, door closes behind us and, uh, punch mom turns around. And this is what we get.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Uh, yeah, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. Absolutely. 100%. Yeah. How would you describe that, that face? Uh, I don't know. Uh, oh no.
Starting point is 00:12:10 I would, ugly crying. Just, just a 180 into. No, we did. We read the books. Oh, I'm doing. Oh, man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:27 No. Uh, that was, that was, that was a lot of fun. Um, And it is interesting, too, because I guess, yeah, some of the, some of the, the journey there was like, it's a really cute photo. It's fantastic. I'm going to keep that around for teasing and blackmail purposes indefinitely until Punch Girl can use it as blackmail as well against mom.
Starting point is 00:12:55 No, no, no, no, no. All roasting goes downhill. Oh, there's no cross-tag team-ups here. They have to work on their own stuff. This is yours to use. No, I don't think it's going to go that way. This is a different situation here, right? Because, like, they've got the, like, girl connection to beat up on dad.
Starting point is 00:13:18 But then dad and daughter have, like, the dark connection. We got the black thing going where we can throw that her way. Oh, you're going to be making fun of Punch Mom being like you're haunting this house with your whiteness. You know, you know. And I mean, look, we'll see how We'll see how the tone goes over time, but there's at least a 50% middle ground over there that we could use as ammunition against her.
Starting point is 00:13:42 And then there's going to be, yeah, we'll draw the lines for war wherever. We'll take them. So it was my experience growing up, and I don't know if this was your experience, that my parents were never able to reliably count on me for any backup in any situation. because it was a coin flip
Starting point is 00:14:03 as to which one I would actually side with on any given situation. Right. Like, they would be like, oh, my mom would be, oh, Patrick will absolutely have my back. Your father's being so ridiculous. I'd be like, Mom, what, what the hell are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:14:17 That's totally right. Or vice versa. And like, Dad, you sound insane. You sound nuts, Dad. What are you talking about? And they could never figure it out to the point where they stopped like going to me as like the third.
Starting point is 00:14:31 person to tie break shit. Couldn't rely. Didn't know which way it would go. We're going to have to see, you know, which way the winds, which way the winds blow on this. But I want to, I want to sweeten the pot in my favor,
Starting point is 00:14:46 however possible. So, yeah. Now, the one thing I do here, that when I was just reading, because I mean, I've been, obviously, you know, you know, that thing where you're holding, like, life and then you're, like,
Starting point is 00:15:00 instantly Googling like 15 things just going down. You're going to get really, really proficient with doing every single task in your life with one arm. Like just like you're going to feel really cool in about a month because you won't believe how many dishes you can do with one hand. So no, that's the one of the things I saw was there's people discussing the, dad that goes and comes back after the time away or whatever. And when you fast forward a few years in,
Starting point is 00:15:38 when kid gets older, parent that's out of the house that comes back becomes like the superhero that's here to visit temporarily because time is limited, you know? Yeah, we don't have that situation. Neither are you. No, no. So the benefits now and then later there's that perception. But then also that makes, you know, a parent at home be like, yo what the fuck I'm here the whole time what do you what you mean the you know the the one that
Starting point is 00:16:04 comes home and pops in gets all the accolades so you know what you're going to get to see and it's something that now we're now that we're all part of the club um i got like i have been able to see the the daily genesis of something that i am 100% certain caused like literally tens of thousands of divorces and fights, which is walking back from the office, right? Being able to look into the window of my living room, seeing how the child is acting, walk through the door, child turns into a different child. Right, for dad, turns into a completely different child. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:51 And I go, oh, or like, you know, mom has to go out. it's it's dad time right oh what are you talking about it's easiest pie they've just played with their toys the whole time no fuss no must they ate whatever i gave them not a problem so look after after like the thing is with that too uh after obviously it's just a this horrendous fucking sleep death cycle that we're in um hey i have good news for you by the way about that um there the the sleep thing is going to get better mm-hmm um you're not going to get more sleep, you're just going to get used to it. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Mm-hmm. That, like, that... So here's the thing. My sleep schedule was already shit. Oh, it was bad. Yeah, it was really bad. You have the worst of any person I've known other than my dad's. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:44 And thus, I was kind of already ready for, you know, a version of this. But it's just that any time you delay it until you're like, okay, I have to go like be a coma, um, that stage never comes. The part where you're like at the end of this insanely bad, um, stretch of, of, of, of staying awake, you're going to eventually just pass the fuck out and then get your recharge. But that recharge never comes. That's, that's the problem here. It's just, it just, you kick the can down the road indefinitely. But, um, so this morning, I was woken up because I had to speak to, uh, you know, one of my like financial people, uh, you know, accountant things and
Starting point is 00:18:25 like we did a video call because like for her she also like had a newborn but for her it was her fourth damn so she knows what the fuck she's doing and like she's like look I'm really things are really nuts over here but just can we just video call and so we jumped on the video
Starting point is 00:18:42 call and you just hear hell happening like actually like Satan and his forces are have dominion behind her And like, I mean, you can hear, like, two boys just fucking, they're, like, they're fighting to the death. And then there is a young girl who is just literally just appears to be running in circles and screaming at the top of her lungs.
Starting point is 00:19:10 But not like play screaming, but like, and it went like for an hour, right? How old is that kid that you saw? She must have been like seven, you know? So, all right, because there's, there's the, the phase that we went through, which is, I've discovered that screaming kicks ass phase. No. It's a good one. No, no, no. It's a, oh, it's a really super fun one.
Starting point is 00:19:37 This was not, child, child was haunted. Child was like, this was not a, this is not a, this is not a whimsical, we're having fun scream. This was a fucking just letting it loose and, and rage tantrum. and like she was describing how so there was after school ended they had summer school but for some reason hers got cancelled or something or not summer school summer camp
Starting point is 00:20:02 so then she came home early and ever since then has just been in a fit and has just been going and screaming and freaking out and so like as much as I'm going through I'm like looking at this lady with four and she's doing on a month what the fuck can you even say right
Starting point is 00:20:21 And I'm just going, okay. Listen. All right. Having a kid is hard. And having two kids is more than twice as hard. God. And so on. And so forth.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Yeah. The interacting they have with each other, you know. You get one down and the sound of another waking them up. Anyway, anyway, it was wild. But all that to say, you know, that, yeah. I mean, I feel what? What do I feel? I feel many things.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Here's how. Are you having a lot of emotions? You want to talk about emotions, fat? What? Woolly? There's never been a more appropriate time for me and you to have a genuine sit down and talk about our feelings. Um, you can ask, you can ask punch mom, like, and she'll tell you, like, how many times over the course of our relationship that, uh, she's seen me cry over something that I've cried, right? I've known you for 20 years. I've seen it once. Okay. So for her, the answer is about three. Right. And, and, and she gave, she gave two. And I, and I reminded her of one, two, that she missed, right?
Starting point is 00:21:41 And within the last 48 hours. Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. Like, we're just hitting all-time PR. Oh, my God. All-time personal records. I barely remember holding my little guy, and he had fallen asleep. And Paige was taking a nap because, like, okay, we locked it down all the time.
Starting point is 00:22:04 And I'm just looking at him. And I was, oh, you just do his little baby. Like for no reason, for like nothing. Straight up, what is this salty discharge ass? Like, what is happening right now? Or, you know, and just, and like when it's like when you're, yeah, when you're just, when you don't know how the winds are turning and you're trying to just like, like, how do I make sure that everything I'm doing is perfect to make sure that you are perfect and that you are perfect and that you. like all of that and and you know um not wanting to fall short of everything that needs doing in that regard is just the only way i was able to to make it through that soul annihilating is you go
Starting point is 00:22:53 through the four things checklist hungry sleepy dirty uh hungry sleepy dirty tired gas don't forget about farts dirty uh uh i forget farts whatever uh you go through the check And then you go, did I, did I do all the checklists? Yes. Okay. Then, then sometimes babies just get fucking pissed. Yes, yes. And the reasons behind crying to that that change over time are pretty incredible
Starting point is 00:23:22 because it's not just like, it's those things, the obvious, like, can you solve the problems? Right. And then sometimes it's like, hey, can you just be here? Can you just like be around and just kind of comfort me? Right. And then a couple versions of like, I don't want to, you know, lie down. right now. I want to be touched. I want to be coddled. I want to do something. Whatever. Sometimes it's boredom. Now get off me. Get off me! Right? Sometimes it's boredom. Sometimes it's temperature. Yes,
Starting point is 00:23:49 exactly. Right? And then, yeah, sometimes it's get the fuck off me, 100%. Um, um, I don't like this anymore. Get the fuck off. Um, and, uh, put me on my stomach, you motherfucker. Oh. And then, and then the one that I, that was incredible that I learned was, um, sometimes it's the situation, sound, environment, visual, whatever is happening is distressing or just not what I want right now. Me crying is going to change reality to just be me crying instead of me being here. Like if I'm like, oh, this room's too dark Or I don't see Mommy or I don't like what I'm hearing And the crying will cause Mommy
Starting point is 00:24:41 and Daddy to have A brand new form Of internalized anxiety response Which will put them into a scramble To change everything in the room at random To see if that's the thing. So this is where Like, again,
Starting point is 00:25:00 Gangster Punch Mom is like hears it and is like okay what's wrong let's let's go and is able to immediately go into the caretaker mode and just diagnose right and i am like usually someone who's trying to diagnose and go about things on a on that don that bullet point list and that's that sound that sound completely like it shatters all ability to think, like, to function rationally to, like, it destroys me. And in a way where I'm, like, freaking out, like, it's almost a panic attack-inducing sound. And, like, Punch Mom is, like, totally cool and under control.
Starting point is 00:25:44 And I'm like, how are you not, like, losing everything right now? Like, how are you not freaking out? Like, doesn't that sound reach down inside and destroy everything within you? And she's like, no, she just needs. And I'm like, I don't. you're hearing a different sound from me it's crazy no it's it's the same same no everybody's different like for for page and I
Starting point is 00:26:08 it was the reverse like the like the noise would hit her in a certain way and she'd get like like less like she'd become like more frantic and I'd be like no no it's cool it's cool and she'd be like oh my god doesn't this make you crazy I'm like oh it sucks and I hate this
Starting point is 00:26:26 I hate it and oh but like yeah like and part of its patience yeah yeah um you know and then the thing the thing too as well is like already the difference between like the first hours the first day or so and then a little bit after that oh yeah huh is crazy because like first little bit i was like yo she's so chill this is crazy she was You, hey, it's time to become superstitles. You absolute moron. You buffoon.
Starting point is 00:27:03 I know how you feel about this sort of thing. It is time to become actively superstitious a lot. Okay. Wow. Wow. Was really easy to get her down tonight. Shut up. Shut your fucking mouth.
Starting point is 00:27:22 I mean, okay. So, I mean, again, there's no chronology. here. We're all over the place. But like when, like literally when baby, when she, when Punch Girl came out, she went eh for like
Starting point is 00:27:39 one and then went down onto mom and was like, oh. Oh my guy did the same thing. He tried to go back to sleep and they had to be like, hey, hey, hey, come on. Yeah, yeah. Right. I was like, oh, okay. Oh, you know. And then in general, the fussy
Starting point is 00:27:57 was there, but for the, but there was like things where I was like, oh, like, when she would get fussy, like, especially initially, like after that first long kiss, the skin, um, there's a point where it was like, oh, uh, I can just put her right here and that fixes all problems. A lot. Yeah, it fixes a lot. I was like, oh, that's awesome. Oh, that's, that's, that is the best feeling on planet Earth, right? Hey, how's it feel to get like legitimately brand, new emotions. It's crazy. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:28:29 They're not variations of existing emotions. No, no, no, no, no, no. They weren't there. They were not there. It was not there. And like, that of just like, like, I'm, like, I am fixing the problem by just existing and holding you here is, that's heroin, right? And you're like, yeah, I'm, I'm dad.
Starting point is 00:28:51 I'm, oh, I'm doing it. Yeah. And then. And then. And then. then, right? And now milk is involved, right? And we're feeding and we're upset and we're really upset when just because and life is sleep and breasts, right? I had a really hard time at that point. Yeah. And what happens is that thing I just described turns into, oh, you're
Starting point is 00:29:26 putting me on your chest, can you feed me? No? Then get the fuck off me! I have I struggled a lot. I struggled a lot with the bro these are the wrong
Starting point is 00:29:45 tits. Get out of my face. I'm attitude of the baby. I'm currently having the worst time with that. It's the roughest thing in the world and just a moment ago this right
Starting point is 00:30:00 here this was all you needed and this solved all problems and now this is the last thing you want it does nothing for you. Get off of me you useless man get the fuck oh right
Starting point is 00:30:17 and then it's like okay what can I do I can stall for time until the breast is here so let's let's do things. Let's, you know, find positions. Let's make noises. Let's play a little, you know, a little, let's sing. Let's talk. Let's dance. Let's do whatever. And then, you know, eventually you can get, you can get distracted for about a minute, maybe two. And then you're like, wait a minute. You're
Starting point is 00:30:42 distracting me. I want the best. Right? What the fuck? And then why are you fucking wasting my time? And she remembers. And then you're like, ah, try something new. No. And it's horrible. Right. And she's like, Eventually she's like, yo, you need to stop with this bullshit and get me the milk now. And I'm like, ah, right? And it's like, oh, mom was trying to catch half an hour, sneak, like nap time before getting back up here. But I guess it's not going to work. So shit, here we go. And man, that feeling sucks.
Starting point is 00:31:14 I have curious questions, but if there's anything that you're like, oh, no, absolutely not. Not here, especially. Feel free to not answer. But are you guys also doing, like, pumping so that you'll also be doing, like, feeds? So, yes, there is pumping involved, and we're also, you know, we're pumping and and feeding directly and even like throwing in some extra, right? Which there's ways you can do.
Starting point is 00:31:43 There's like things you can grab a little tube and get a little extra in there while the, while the feeding is occurring. And the, yeah, the thought is that like, oh, okay, well, it's. If there's a step or if there's a feed that can just be all dad, for example, then that's a great opportunity to have a big nap, you know, big recoup and everything. Absolutely. But there's downsides to that, which are the regular scheduled production needs to occur and all the benefits of the latch for this time and not missing a thing and also introducing
Starting point is 00:32:20 a bottle. Even though you want a nap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You still have to pump on the same fucking schedule. So there's a whole thing with that. And then 3 a.m. is the best time for that, which is also when you might want to do that skip, but it's actually when you should pump the most. And then also there's the part where it's like, and there's different methods.
Starting point is 00:32:36 You can go like, you know, you can go spoon. You can go cup. You can do all these different things to get the actual milk into the baby. But if you go with the bottle. But if you give them the bottle with the nursing at the same time, the bottle has a nipple on it that's too easy compared to the actual nipple. so then they get trained to suck at the wrong force. I mean, that can happen. And that, hey, so.
Starting point is 00:32:59 But this is, and this is what we're kind of going through right now is essentially, you're like trying to figure that out, right? Because if you, yeah, if you train the wrong force of sucking. And there's nipples that are, that have a size that's more forceful. But depending on whether baby is like in a situation where you're like, oh, baby needs more milk right now versus like, oh, yeah, she's good. She can work on it a little bit. You just don't, you're not sure about like, should,
Starting point is 00:33:23 Yeah, that's basically it is just like, you know, if you have a baby that's like, oh, you know what, this nipple's great. In fact, on the bottle, I'm just going to do, I'm just going to go with the bottle effort. Then suddenly the real nipple starts being a bigger problem for baby, you know. So you got to be careful with how you battle. The kicker is that real nipple is attached to mom. Yeah, yeah. Which they like. They, yes. But it's the effort. That's, you know, yeah. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. You're completely right. However, being completely right. is not actually as important as it usually is. Yep. Yep. Because you are dealing with a violently uncooperative subject. Yes. Yes. No. Being sane is more important than being right. So like, you're juggling, will this even work at all? Mm-hmm. How hard is it going to be to get to work? and also babies need parents
Starting point is 00:34:21 that are not ready to jump out windows. And that's the big one, right? Like of all the pros and cons on each column of like, oh yes, introducing the bottle and fucking up this, potentially, or getting the ideal amount of pumping going and having the right amount of suckle and, you know, and nursing time and, you know, all the oxytocin in the world and so on.
Starting point is 00:34:43 And then there's, am I about to just crash the fuck out, right? Am I about to crash out for, And if you're, if you are, then you know what? It's time to just do the easier solution at that point. Absolutely. You guys are in this early period. You guys are just all like working together as a team, which enables you the best tip you can possibly do for young children, which is, hey honey, I'm about to freak the fuck out. Can you hold this, this kid for a second?
Starting point is 00:35:17 I need to go outside. Yep. Yep. Yep. Fully aware of that. I'm not to lose my shit. I need to leave the room. Excuse me. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I, uh, you know, as you just described new emotions, right? The new emotion that you get from, uh, you know, dad's making everything okay is immediately complimented with the, the dark flipped reverse arcana of itself, which is, dad cannot make. anything okay right now. Dad, dad is the worst and needs to stop existing. Not only is dad actively useless also, I want him out of my face. I,
Starting point is 00:36:00 so I'm, I, that's where I, that quick hello, we're live, that's where I am right now. The highest highs I've ever had in my life with the lowest lows 10 minutes later. It's the most, it's brutal. It's so insanely brutal. I, I, I, I, laughing, but I want to die. And it's, and that's, that's currently it, you know? And I'm like, okay, okay. The, you know, tell yourself all the idioms you need to. Keep it all in mind.
Starting point is 00:36:34 And, you know, it's like, hey, you know what? We had those moments where it's like, yeah, this is going, this is pretty rough, but don't worry about it. It'll change soon. And then it's like, oh, hey, cool, we're getting the hang of this. This is going well. Yeah? Well, guess what?
Starting point is 00:36:49 It'll change soon. So just don't feel anything. Or feel all the things. I don't know. There's a couple things going on there. Because I'm in the same place as you are just a little bit ahead, just a tiny bit, right? And we share the same profession. So we're as close as it can get in terms of like family, like proximity, all that shit.
Starting point is 00:37:12 The problem is, is that like, yeah, you get swaddling. Dude, swaddling, unswaddling, diaper change back into the swaddle, rock, rock, rock. You're going to get super good at that. Okay. And then the swaddle period will be over. As soon as you get super, super good at it, it's over. Now you just learn the new skill. Okay, you're back.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Oh, yeah, I'm back. Okay. Yes, the new skills will show up. Now, here's the thing, too, as somebody who has gotten, I'm going to pat myself on the back and say, I have now handled various volumes of mess, right? I have done the big black tar, the myconium, right? Yeah, myconium's not bad. Right?
Starting point is 00:38:12 And then I've also gotten your yellow and brown peppered, all the mess, all of it, right? And I've seen the big fucking, and the small ones and the easy, I've gotten pretty all right at changing, right? And taking care of the changing situation. So that's cool. Then following that change and going into, like that first one was horrible, by the way, it was such a nightmare. I was like, oh my God, it looks so much easier on the video I watched. What the fuck? What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:38:42 Oh, God. Please. And a nurse kind of stepped in and was like, Harris, how you, yeah. This is a question. Are you,
Starting point is 00:38:47 are you the kind of guy who's like squeamish about like poop? I mean, I don't like it, but in this case, it doesn't matter. As we recently is covered in, in the last couple of weeks, it doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:38:57 You have to do it. It's, you're doing it. How I feel about it doesn't matter. But like, for the context of the remainder of the conversation. Because I'm the kind of person, I don't give a shit.
Starting point is 00:39:06 I don't give a fuck. Okay. Right. I'm like, that's, that's poop. Okay. Well,
Starting point is 00:39:11 Okay, so for me, at no point so far, have I, at one point I've gotten some on my like hand a bit, but I've managed to be very good at not getting anything on anything except for the changing station itself and her. In fact, and like, once I got it on a new diaper and then it was like, oh, fuck, there goes. Dude. That's going to, right. That happened to me yesterday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, that new diaper in the trash. Exactly. Especially when you're putting it on and you're like, oh, here comes more. And you're like, oh, my God. shield.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Like, you're fucking... Protect me. Yeah. Please. Grabbing the huggies and doing a faultless defense with it again. You know what I mean? Like,
Starting point is 00:39:51 oh, use all that tension to just shield it down. And again, and I want to take the, take a moment to, to quadruple emphasize the success of the tech, which is diaper genie.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Thank you very much. Right? Oh, man. I don't know how it works, but it works. Right. And then, with the seal, air seal, so you put the diapers in the thing that keeps it closed as best as possible.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Two carbon filters that they, you know, the thing we have in taping them to the bottom and putting, taping one to the top of the lid and taping one to the bottom or putting it underneath the bag, and then using a doggy bag as well as a sealer, that is all working out really well. So that's great. As somebody who's gotten pretty all right with that so far, I have so many opinions about newborn like outfits now that it's crazy. In putting on like...
Starting point is 00:40:46 I have my one opinion. Would you like to hear it? Yeah. Does this have buttons on it? How about you go kill yourself and... Oh my God! Oh my God, die! Okay, if you put buttons on the baby's newborn outfit,
Starting point is 00:41:02 just end it. Just leave this earth. Just get on a ship and leave forever. Okay. Next. If you don't do the thing where one of the zips goes all the way down to the baby's ankle on one side, leave off. I don't want you on planet Earth anymore. I need you gone.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Okay. Next. And I would say biggest because we can work around those. if you decide to make the sleeves really really tight and elasticy for the style of the thing and make it impossible to pull the baby's hand out
Starting point is 00:41:43 or see whether all fingers are protruding because sometimes you're opening it up and you get like three of the fingers out but the pinky's there and you don't want to pull up and hurt you're doing quit your job and change professions putting putting it's crazy on is such like a
Starting point is 00:42:00 trap of an experience because the first time they're all like Google Gaga and they're like they're just like blah blah blah moving and you're like oh man this is going to be so much easier when they're older but then before they so my little guy like when I put a shirt on he put I go push push
Starting point is 00:42:16 push push and he puts his arms through but before that right before that is I fucking hate putting my shirt on get it off me like that that part sucks and like I got what at one point I thought I had a trick because like she's doing the thing where and it's awesome where like from literally seconds on earth you put put a finger right into the hand and then yeah right yeah they do the reflex yeah feel that reflex grip and you're like yeah let's go and so I would put my out open up the sleeve put my hand in and get the grip going and then pull the grip finger out right and I was like okay we got some tech going and I was like okay we got some tech going
Starting point is 00:42:59 And then we switched to one of the onesies where doing that, it was still too tight to pull out her hand. It wasn't enough room for her newborn hand to come. And I'm just like, I want to burn this thing. It's crazy that you ship this product. Would you like a peach saliva patented baby clothes tech? Oh, was that what just went by there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:24 It's, Paige came up with this idea, and it saved us a lot of trouble. you have to be willing to destroy your baby clothes though okay okay okay every single thing every single time you're like oh my god they don't like the feet yeah just get a pair of scissors and cut the fucking legs and arms off as long as the fabric it doesn't bleed out right because sometimes because i've cut sleeves off my shirts and stuff and sometimes certain types of cotton or fabric will like have you know excess that doesn't cut clean so as long as it can be removed cleanedly, then yeah, that's a good solution. My little guy, you know those onesies that like end in like the onesie becomes a sock?
Starting point is 00:44:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he hates that shit. Oh. Hates it. So we had like three or four of those that were just like, well, the feet, all the feet are gone. Okay. Just all the feet are gone. Because he wants his toes out.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Okay. Well, because one of the ones that we put on yesterday, like I didn't notice it, but like the shoes, the little sock on it was actually like designed to be almost like little ballerina shoes. I was like, oh, that looks cool. So I was like, okay, well, that works for that one. I will accept your, I will accept your subpar buttoning solution in exchange for these cute little boot shoes.
Starting point is 00:44:48 I want to go into something because it's one of these things. It's the nature for me anyway, but it feels like the nature of a lot of people. but it feels like the nature of a lot of people, you include it, where you have the baby and you just start like grousing and griping, right? And you're commiserating over all the stuff that's like really hard. And you get people that are either younger or they don't have kids or they chose not to have kids. And they're like, I don't fucking get it. These guys sound miserable.
Starting point is 00:45:19 But it's also like the most personally fulfilled I've ever felt doing anything in my entire life by a massive. order of magnitude. And my relationship with my wife went from like great to like, oh my God, we're like, we're like gods on the earth. Soul means. Yeah. Oh my. And we're so like, we're like working together so well. And we have this important thing that we're doing together. And it's so important. That's a pretty good reason. Yeah. But yeah, I could have gone for a little bit more sleep today. That would have been all right.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Yeah. Yeah. Tell you what, man, you know, I'll let you know. We're here. We're going through it, you know. I'm going to tell you right now, when you do go back to streaming, dude, your streams are going to be awesome. Because you're going to just be a fucking stupid rambling mess and it's going to be great. Use that energy.
Starting point is 00:46:25 Well, okay. The thing I already feel as I'm doing this right now, the first professional thing that I've done since that's happened is like, I knew that, hey, I took this break beforehand to get everything ready because you're making room for a new priority on top of all the other things in life. And what I realize upon clicking fucking the stream button today is that that priority space is actually like 50 priority spaces. And this is now priority 51. This is not priority two, three, or five. This is 51. It's crazy how big that power gap is. But like for the first couple of months,
Starting point is 00:47:08 I had another new emotion, which I'd never felt before in my life, which is, did you know that if you can't see your wife or child right now, they're in danger? They're in danger. They're falling down the stairs into the furnace. did you know that
Starting point is 00:47:27 that if you're not actually looking at them right now they've both wandered out into the street in heavy traffic fortunately as you've seen our place this is open concept so they're right fucking there you'd be you'd be here
Starting point is 00:47:43 ah hell yeah yeah you'd be like oh yeah and that'd be an awkward live stream fails moment as you hear me tumbling down the stairs you know but yeah Yes, absolutely. There is that feeling. There's also all the baby monitor tech you can get and set up and, you know, all the different settings on that to make sure that you see and hear every sound and log it and get as paranoid as you need to be. Just embrace it. There's a product for everyone's level of paranoia.
Starting point is 00:48:13 I don't want to hear. No matter how unhealthy. I want to hear the rattle on the exhale. Right. Oh, yeah, I can hear the breathing. No, no, I want to hear. Ha, ha, ha. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's kind of interesting, too, to watch as, like, the camera, the crib, the light thing next to it, all have their white noise machines built in. And at some points, like, a cry goes off and all the machines are simultaneously going, and you're like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, everyone's setting needs to shut the fuck up. All of these apps on my phone need to shut the fuck up, of which there are now many, because everyone knows the grift is, oh, you got a newborn. You don't have time to make decisions. Pay me that 70 bucks to track all the things you need tracked. It is so wild.
Starting point is 00:49:01 You're like, okay, we have you in the robot bassinet that sues you. We have the cameras and the microphone set up. You're trapped. Completely empty sleeping area where you've been swaddled into a custom swaddle that hooks into the wall. Meanwhile, I was in a hand-me-down crib in the hallway of my parents. apartment. Exactly. Like 25 fucking stuffed animals in there trying not to choke on my smoke asthma. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:49:32 And it's like, wow, yeah. No, there is a part of this. There is a part of a lot of this where I go, I just think back and I go, hold on a minute, man. Like, I have, like, we came from situations where I guess they figured it out and we're here. but like in terms of where we slept and the size and what they had resource wise and it was so much worse off so you're like yeah yeah yeah it's fine it's fine baby will adapt you know in which my mother told me oh yeah babies are fine don't worry too much about them but they die all the time and no one knows why that was the actual it's like oh babies are easy to take care of but sometimes they die and you just never know why and like this seems like a very awful just Just a juxtaposition, mom. Okay. It seems really bad. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:25 So these conversations, these conversations are kind of fucked because there happened, they, they, we had, we used to have them like once a year or so. And now the speed at which it's like, okay, so grandma comes over and we're talking and she's like, okay. So, um, you know, or like, like, like, what was someone, a family, uh, uh, gives, gives us like a baby blanket, you know? And it's like, oh, yeah, like, you can put that in the crib to keep them. warm and it's just like, you're like, actually, right? Right? And it's, but it's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:50:57 You're very cute, very beautiful, but that's not. And put this on them when they're swaddled and they will be cute as a button. Exactly. And then, so you get the, you get the things about like, you're like, little things coming up where it's like, oh, it's like, oh, yeah. So, how is she sleeping? Are you sleeping with her, like, on her stomach or, you know, whatever and stuff? And then it's like, sleeping at one week or? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:17 And then, and, and, and, and, and, I were like, oh, actually, that's a terrible idea. and that's a huge link to SIDS, and we don't do that because we know better now. And she's like, oh, well, no. I mean, we were doing that, and things were finding out of... I'm going to take this as an attack on my parenting skills. Because we did it, and it was fine,
Starting point is 00:51:37 and I'm like, and that was 40 years ago. Like, the low, yeah, no, the, and then the constant amount of, like, actually, there's science and tech and here's studies. I can show you the studies, if you'd like to see them. And there's always... a response that's either, oh, well, no, we figured it out and it was fine, or the, the one I'm liking now, because it's happened so often, is, wow, boy, y'all have everything these days.
Starting point is 00:52:03 We didn't have any of that, you know, we just figured it out. Do you want to, I don't know if you're going to encounter this, but I encountered it, and it's a trip. It's, it's, it's part, so part, by the way, you, you probably feel much more like an adult now. I noticed about a year in that I felt like a like a genuinely more mature put together man. Okay. Like a man. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:28 And you're starting that process and good for you. And part of that process is the final leap away from your parents because I experienced talking to my mom about this kind of thing. And she's like, wow, you know, well, we did our best. You know, we just tried to do the best with what we knew then. and my brain went is that true and on a couple of things I looked it up and I was like
Starting point is 00:52:59 it's not it's not true you actually did know better in 1986 but hold on was the fact hidden behind a book in a library down the street
Starting point is 00:53:15 or was it accessible oh okay Okay, okay. Because there's a part of that too where it's like the information was out there if you wanted to go look for it. But why do that? Because the people at church are kind of just give you their anecdotes and those are, that'll go better. We didn't know smoking was bad for people that weren't smoking back then. Right. Really? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot. Do you even believe that right now?
Starting point is 00:53:47 You know, and like, you know, or even just when it comes to things, because again, as the Gryft begins, you're like, okay, so the goal here is to, you know, do all the breast milk we can and to supplement and, hey, look, colostrum, we be pumped, we got some frozen, that's great. But you never know when you'll need some formula. Something might come up. We might be a situation. Oh, yeah, I got a couple.
Starting point is 00:54:09 He showed up really early. Yeah, yeah, exactly, right? Way too early. Like, the milk hadn't come in. So I'm just like, so I'm going to get some formula to just be, you know, to have it there. And it's like, okay, well, here we go. Let's begin the process of getting into, I'm sure this is a grift too as I look at the aisle and checking the back of everything. And then I got something and I was like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:54:28 No, this is fine. This is okay. This seems all right. And then thankfully a nurse confirmed, she's like, yeah, they're fine. It's not, you don't have to worry about that. No, the grift is that formula fucking stinks. Oh, does it? That's the grift.
Starting point is 00:54:41 Oh. It reeks. Okay. Well, no wonder, it's like, hey, after you open it, throw it out 24 hours later, no matter what happens, you know, there's a timer on that shit the moment you crack it. But as I got it, and I was looking and it's like, okay, so what's good for a kid? And it's like, oh, well, the ones based on milk, like cow milk is our show to have these benefits and these are good things. So like overall, you can go with different kinds, but the cow milk basis is pretty all well accepted as pretty dope formula that you're going to get for your kid. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:55:10 And then now cut to me explaining that. And my mom's like, cow milk. And I'm like, we're not doing this. We're not doing this. I don't know what soybean health-based woo-woo shit you got going on here with what you think's going to apply. But we're not doing this right now. Not when we have the numbers. When I have the numbers and I show you the numbers, you have to stop.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Like for Paige and I, if we had to fall back. formula, we went for it was emphomile A plus neuroprone formula. That's exactly what I got. The reason why is really simple. It's the formula a nurse handed to me in the fucking
Starting point is 00:55:54 hospital when the boy was born. Well, there you go. Use this one. It's good for babies. There you go. That's not what I was handed, but it's the one I got regardless. And it was like, hey, great. Little container, if you don't use all of it, toss that. Perfect. Ideal.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Um, yeah, man, that level of just like, like, like, I already had, I, I already had a, a woo woo detector. And like, now it is sharpened to a, it has been folded a thousand times. Okay. You have to understand. Just the other day, we were discussing as, um, we were meeting different professionals and doctors and nurses and stuff, right? And for the most part, especially when you're going off through multiple shifts, you're meeting different people and like, some of them that are, like, like therefore the long haul are going to be off their shift. We met a lot of people in a really short amount of time.
Starting point is 00:56:46 And some of them are great and some of them are not. And that's just going to be the way it goes because this is the profession. And a lot of people are really want to help take care of a lot of other people. But they've also got a lot of shit going on in their lives. And some people are like natural born incredible caretakers. And other people are like they've seen too much. And they're just kind of turning. They're just turning it all off.
Starting point is 00:57:10 inside a little bit. Dude, we ran into a lactation lady, like a lactation specialist. Yeah. And after she left, I was like, Paige, was that lady a bitch? She's like, I think she was like a massive man. And then we asked one of the nurses and they're like, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah, she's, she's mean. So we had one or two of those, right? We had one lady where it's like that one receptionist at the OBG clinic that we are going to. It's like, oh, God, if we end up with her, fuck it. Hang up and call back. Right? Like, just do. Don't even proceed. Do not pass go.
Starting point is 00:57:44 Just hang up and try the numbers again, right? And don't give it. And hopefully she doesn't know it was you that called a minute ago. But, and then now sharpening that wound detector, as I was saying, right? Because I'm, I've got a sharp ear to listen to the sound of crunch. If I hear a leaf being crunched in the forest a mile away, I'm going to fucking perk up. and go like, hold on a minute, lady, hold on a minute. Are you crunchy?
Starting point is 00:58:15 Are you a little crunchy? Because we had one who was super nice, awesome, really great person and like very familiar. And everything's going really, really well. And deep into the conversation about like how things are going and what's going on, there's a moment of like, oh, you know, one thing I'd consider is like really, there's a little, little hints of like, oh, yeah, like, consider like an osteopathy. Have you looked into that?
Starting point is 00:58:40 You know, that's something that's really cool. And we're like, oh, okay, cool. And I'm like, hmm, I've, I've heard a thing about that before. And she's like, yeah, yeah, and she's talking about how great it is and everything. I'm like, okay, cool. And then we get out of there. And then I'm just like, yo, punch mom. Did you catch it?
Starting point is 00:58:56 And she's like, she's like, right? And it's like, this is, there are things that it's proven to work for, but it is a pseudoscience. It is not, it is not a fully developed thing. thing that is 100% locked down certain, right? Hey, Wully, Wully, I know you guys probably have everything planned out, but just in case have you heard of this complete bullshit
Starting point is 00:59:24 I'm not to tell you. Yeah. And here... That is based off nothing. Oh, man. Listen, I'm just, I'm just trying to do what's best for you guys and offer you options. And here's what I feel like I've learned to as well. I have a theory. It's the crunch pipeline. Because the crunch pipeline, not in terms of working in video games, mind you, but in terms of woo-woo parental shit, right?
Starting point is 00:59:50 Crunchy moms is the saying. If anyone's unfamiliar, what this means is people who think that holding your baby up to the crystals and the earth and the sunlight will heal them instead of taking them to a doctor. Did we show you the crystals when you were here? No, but. Okay, because one of the, one of the, because we have crystals in the house. Okay, all right. Gifted to us.
Starting point is 01:00:11 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were having burgers. Mm. And a sweet old lady came over and went, oh, what a sweet baby. Here, this will protect him. And just handed page like a big fat piece of quartz. Okay. Incredible.
Starting point is 01:00:27 I, yeah, yeah, right? Exactly that. And as I previously discussed earlier in a previous episode, when it comes to the process of pregnancy, if mom is somebody who, for whatever fucking reason, gets calm by holding the crystal, then give mom the crystal then, right?
Starting point is 01:00:47 Because the damage is already done. Good vibes, home. You can't stop now. What is reality going to do for you at that point, right? This was a conversation. 25 minutes ago. Yeah. That ship has sailed, sir.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Okay. But what I've realized about the treadmill, right, about this path we go down, right, the pipeline, is that the person that leads you there is always like 80% solid. 20% crunch. Just a little hint of it, right? Like said person who was great, fun, great advice, everything was awesome. And then you get a little hint of like, uh, that's not proven and I know it, but we're going to move past that point of this conversation. It's all good. right and then a little bit of uh like as we're closing it out a little bit of a like you know
Starting point is 01:01:39 there's a lot of stuff with the medicalization of things that has just kind of lost lost touch with nature and you're like yeah no no i know what you mean yeah yeah yeah back when you know babies were born in dirty pits and mom and baby had a 50 50 shot you know and when we had to just decide which one are we cutting open and which one are we saving You know, that was, yeah, you know. Yeah. I need you to consider what I'm about to tell you. Are you ready?
Starting point is 01:02:09 Mm-hmm. But what about the toxins? Oh, boy, right. Well, the person, I'm, the first, the first layer is never going to talk about the toxins. Because they're coming at you extremely reasonable, and they've got that little hint of it. It might be 90-10. It might be 80-20. But I'm going to cut it off at 80-20 max, right?
Starting point is 01:02:30 Little hints of crunch in what they're saying. nothing too much. And for the most part, everyone's different. So you might have somebody who came from a situation. Or they're like, yeah, look, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:02:38 No one's ever going to perfectly align with anybody. Right. You have to be aware of that. And believe it or not, right, you can go back and look at your pen and teller bullshit episodes, but it's like,
Starting point is 01:02:47 there's stuff out there where you're like, you know, when it comes to acupuncture, we're not even really sure. It kind of does work sometimes. It's weird. It's weird. It's been conclusively proven. It was a statistical error
Starting point is 01:02:59 in the original reading of those studies from the 90s. So wait, hold on. The meta-analysis that showed that there was some, like, some weird inconclusive, but beneficial results. You're saying, we went back on that? Yeah, the same data again. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Yeah, and, you know, acupuncture is not. Yeah! Science! Let's fucking go. I'm getting hype. That's awesome. I love that that's bullshit. That's super cool.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Fuck that shit. Okay. Licebo can be so strong and screw up your. experimental controls. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. That's great. That's great. Oh, every time. Anyways. Because that was one of those ones where they're like, it was in the category of, oh, there's a whole lot of bullshit here. And then now and they're like, yeah, I don't know. We saw some stuff that seemed to, right? And like, oh, like, you know, placebo power of prayer, et cetera. Yeah. That's not the point. The point is, is that the person then will refer you to a person and let's
Starting point is 01:03:54 say you go see, I don't know, that osteopath who's like, hey, I know some, I'm a specialist in this. and they, you talk to them and they're going to be like 6040, right? And the 6040 person is a bit more brazen about what they're talking about. But let's say you're somebody who's like, I'm trying to fix a particular condition and I want to try things because I'm also going the referral to the second person is I'm going to go to that second person because the filter is if I don't need to go any further, I'm fine. I'm not going to go see them. But somebody who does show up to that second 6040 person is probably more desperate, right? probably needs it a little bit more. And so the 60-40 person is going to start bringing a little bit more of that wound to the situation, you know?
Starting point is 01:04:36 And depending on what they then refer you to if your needs continue to increase or demands, if you're in a situation that calls for it, that third person is 50-50 at best. Yeah. And now we're just going downhill into the crunch zone. All right. Here's where I'm at, because I live in B.C. And B.C. is different. right? I'm at the part where I'll just lean over and be like
Starting point is 01:05:02 we're cool with fluoride, right? And the person I'll go, yeah. And you go, okay. Yeah. And that just like, that just kind of just solves that shit right away. Sure. You know, I mean, there's things here. There's parts of town where it's like, oh, if you live in certain areas, you need to check out the lead numbers.
Starting point is 01:05:26 in the water because some places are like still on old pipes. And it's not everywhere, but if you live in one of those areas, check, go look into it. And then you go, all right, here, we got the numbers. It says here, this is no good. Therefore, yeah, get your fucking Bruder filter, right? Do what you got to do. But just coming at it from what I was just described of like, we're going to send you, we're going to refer you, like getting a referral for a specialist or a doctor, but you're
Starting point is 01:05:52 getting referred to a slightly more crunchy person. And before you know it, you're walking into a shaman's hut. You know what I mean? Like, there's, who knows, who knows how quickly we end up there. But it's not, it is at least two referrals away from the shaman's hut. And we're trying to do as much as we can to stay out of the shaman's hut. Well, just don't go. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:17 Just don't go see the shaman. But, but we need, but we need, we need the shaman's special blessing. and incenses, though. You know, mom needs them right now more than anything. Okay. What else happened? The entire process was one where... So, yeah, I'm not sure if I mentioned it before or not, but like, you know, again,
Starting point is 01:06:46 Punch Mom was super incredible with it. One of the things that happened was she got gestational diabetes. And so that was... Yeah. Yeah. Justational diabetes, brothers. Yeah. It's our fault.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Yeah. Not proven. No, no. That's a little crunchy too. Blaming. It is. There's, there's, I looked at the how much the dad is to blame for the placenta. And it's like, maybe, but maybe not.
Starting point is 01:07:14 But give me that doubt. Give me that wiggle room. Fucking cope, Wully. How about you close that fucking Google window, you piece of shit? I know what? You can see that? Oh, wow. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:07:22 You don't think I can see the light shine on your face? as the way as the cat as it gets a little bit brighter as you open up a fucking google you close that shit fuck off um no there's there's a there's a decent there's a decent there's a decent there's a decent mr woolly the sugars madden could never have given his wife oh no no not at all me who just got the diabetes a year prior that couldn't be me what couldn't be me fuck out of here that's all you what you do and eating that chocolate girl that's your fault. Get your goddamn diet in order, bitch. What the fuck? Oh, you're feeling real brave right now on the podcast. As I'm chowing down on cheesecakes,
Starting point is 01:08:08 you know. Um, so, so no, no, it is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's part of, it's part of what happened. And, uh, the results of which were, um, pretty tremendous because it's like, okay, well now, especially if we're at a place where they're measuring in a more sharp way, we are going to implement like, hey, keep track of, they have a whole thing in place. They're like, yeah, keep track your blood sugar multiple times a day. And if you feel spikes, go for a walk, da-da-da-da-da, all these little things, you know. And she fucking was amazing with that and just crushed it and did all those things. And, of course, plus having the benefit of like, I'm like, oh, hey, look, we've got a whole bunch of spare metamusel from my episode last.
Starting point is 01:08:53 year. I got to tell you, man, like, you giving us that advice of like, yeah, just, just have a madameyousal, like, dropped pages blood sugar, like so effectively. It's incredible. It was the best piece of advice we got for the whole pregnancy. That's awesome. I'm really happy. I'm really happy that happened because it's great, right? Amongst all the other little tricks I learned, you know, getting through my own diabetic episode that were just like, oh, we're ready for this. We've already got the blood, you know, a monitor and all the little things, the cuffs ready to go, et cetera. So handling that and then ultimately getting to the part where, oh, Jesus Christ, page. Wow.
Starting point is 01:09:38 Thank you. I'm super happy that that was incredibly effective. That's fucking awesome. I think that might be a little strong, but you definitely help their health. Yeah. That is pretty extreme. I'll take the dubs I can take right now, man. I got another couple weeks of no sleep coming up.
Starting point is 01:09:58 Yeah, hey, Wully, I told you this on the phone a little while ago, and I told you this over a text, but I'll tell you here now, you're doing a good job. I can tell just by listening to you that you are doing a good job. Thank you. Um, uh, yeah. Thanks. It is, it is, uh, it, it, it's rough when it's rough. Um, just don't fucking drop them and you're good.
Starting point is 01:10:31 That's like, seriously, like, just don't, just don't drop them. Yeah, I just, I just want, I want to get back that power to make the crying stop, you know. Oh, you stupid, I had it. I had it, I had it, I had it. I had it. I had it. I had it for two days. Oh, dude. I barely have a thing. Now! It was so good. I tasted Elysium, Pat. I tasted the highs.
Starting point is 01:11:00 It was so good. It's the greatest thing ever. And then it was gone. It's crazy. Do you understand how crazy it is to take away the highest high? Oh, man. The ambrosia. The ambrosia.
Starting point is 01:11:18 Nearly exclusively mom's domain. No, but it's right there. Where are you going? Okay. Paige and I had to happen. It's the heads. It's the heads reaching out for the Redstone of Asia in the fucking part two intro, you know? I think that Paige and I had this conversation maybe 25 to 30 times where I would just get emotional and be like, my baby hates me.
Starting point is 01:11:45 And she was like, no, you just don't have tits. Yeah. Right? And, like, that's all he's about. And she was like, your time will come in the toddler years. And that is starting to happen. Like the other day, he got super mad, like super upset and just started going da, da, da, da, over and over. And I had to cut a stream short. I had to run over because he just wanted dead da da. All of a sudden. It was like that was the only solution. I realize that I realize that And I think That
Starting point is 01:12:26 If it takes years To get that feeling again Then so be it Okay Now you've dangled it in front of me And you've showed it to me And then into the distance it goes And now I'm chasing it forever
Starting point is 01:12:42 Right Oh yeah No continue to chase it They tricked you They manipulated you on purpose Oh baby did its job baby came out and did its job immediately and gave me that. You know what's the craziest thing?
Starting point is 01:12:54 You know how like the most narcissistic thing you'd ever hear from a parent is like, this baby manipulated me? How could they make me what I, right? And then you have the baby and you're like, this baby is fucking with me, dude. Yeah. This baby's totally messing with me on purpose.
Starting point is 01:13:10 Is the baby gaslining me? When you hear, you hear a cry and you're like, hold on. Was that the pitch that goes into the really high pitch that you shouldn't be hearing? Was that one of those really, really bad pitches? Hold on a minute. Get the fuck over here.
Starting point is 01:13:23 Hey, you, what's going on? And baby's like, what's up? Yeah, no. You're like, your purpose. You did the pitch. You can't use that pitch. Right now is not even to be dad. Your purpose right now is to be mom's all-purpose roadie.
Starting point is 01:13:41 Right, right, right. Anything she may or may not need. There's some tricks that are, that are surprisingly effective for random reasons. And I'm like, okay, this is where... Yeah, you say yes, dear. Yeah, okay. Not against... That's a good one.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Not against the big baby. I mean, it against the smaller one. Um, no, the, there's a couple of different burping positions, you know, and we kind of, I've kind of learned about, like, I'm like, oh, she hates this one. She hates the pickup, you know, for example. And I'm like, oh, up ease is going to be a problem for you, huh? Okay. So, like, dude, like, a little bit of a little bit of. on my shoulder was the one that he liked.
Starting point is 01:14:21 Okay. So what she likes is it's so weirdly aggressive looking but it's when you grab right here you support like the jaw and then you lean them forward and then you have while sitting and you do the pat. But from the front their face is all like brr and she
Starting point is 01:14:37 about the football. And it's not no it's not football position. It's not football position. It's it's they're seated God let me just do it with this. So you put your hand your fingers around the bottom of the jaw, or around the jaw line like this, and then you seat them and lean them forward,
Starting point is 01:14:55 and then you do this, right? And the gravity of leaning them forward works out. And for some reason, that makes whatever's going down, no matter how upset she is, she chills. She loves just doing that. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:15:10 you're going to figure out all the cool tricks, man. And I'm like, okay, we got one. We got one. All right, let's put that in the pocket. But, okay, I got off topic. What I was saying is that, like, with the gestational, So that was one of those things where, and it can go a lot, it can go a lot worse in a lot of different ways.
Starting point is 01:15:24 But in Punch Mom's case, yeah, a lot of stars aligned and things went out and she was awesome in sticking with it. And so we fortunately were like, okay, cool. We're looking at a percentile size, which is good. Good. And we're heading into a range where one of the things that, you know, of all the possibilities that come from having gestational, So it's like your placenta gets affected. And then, of course, you might get a big baby. And if you get a big baby, you might have to do an induction or you might have to do a C-section and stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:15:55 You know, so who knows? And so we kind of got to a point where the doctor was like, okay, cool. Well, you're good to go up to, you know, sort of like that, more or less that 40 limit or so. And then at which point, yeah, we're going to induce because we don't want to push it past that because this is just the smart thing to do with this type of case. Don't want to get too big baby. Exactly. And then so we're like, okay, cool. Cool. That's good. Overall, you know, not, not particularly, not like super anti-intervention or anything. Let's go science. But in general, you're like, but let's, but the things that hurt more, let's try to avoid those if we can, right? That's overall reasonable. And so with the inductions stuff, we're like, oh, we hope we can get something spontaneous kicking. But the, uh, the part where doc hospital was just like, okay, so we're just going to need you to come in early. Um, not because of anything going on, but simply.
Starting point is 01:16:47 because we don't have the slots. Yeah, we're really busy. We're just busy, guys. So life will have to start earlier because of bureaucracy, actually. Well, I mean, I remember you telling me the dates, and then I remember you reaching out afterwards. I'm like, the timing seems to have gone smooth from what I can tell. Yeah, it's all good.
Starting point is 01:17:12 It's all good. But it was just quite a shock because we were going into that going like, okay, well, we have this much time and we have this much prep and idea while keeping in mind that there's a possibility we might have to jump in that car and get going any minute now there's an idea of like all right well either we'll start feeling it on our own and have that slow buildup of you know feeling contraction start or we'll have a date that we know we're walking in there and what we ended up getting was um you know calls and systems and rolyxes and like yeah okay we'll schedule you in can you come in tomorrow no no no
Starting point is 01:17:46 oh, okay, well, how about maybe the day after? Like, it was just, just like, hey, slots are full, sorry. And, like, it's just a wild thing to imagine that, like, you know, it wasn't any sort of miraculous, spontaneous moment of, oh, she was just ready. It was just like, nah, man, that's when, that's when they had the slots and the free room for it to go down, you know. And so, yeah, went in and did that.
Starting point is 01:18:12 And, you know, I guess some of the, the, the only other thing I'll say is over the course of, you know, going in and, yeah, beginning this, this induction process and stuff was how, you know, we prep for the long haul and see how that's going to go. And everything was going, went pretty much, you know, as we were told it would go. But there's one part of this chain where you're like, okay, here's the person of all these people coming in and out who this is probably our weak link and here's the person that's responsible for administering the epidural
Starting point is 01:18:51 and that epidural is supposed to be doing way more than it's doing right now and it ain't doing much and then you're like wait wait wait can we can we see what's wrong here because oh boy it's coming on strong that pain is shooting up to are we in the category of the worst you've ever felt in your life Yes. Okay, we're there. We're at the worst you've ever felt in your life. Can we get that? Can we get that epidural juice going? Can we get it going? It's going. Oh, is it? Then why is it not going? I don't know. Let's check it out. Maybe we do something else back here. Oh, this should be it. I think there's a problem back here. Let's fix that. All right, now it should be going. It's not going.
Starting point is 01:19:34 And you're just like, like, can we get a professional in here, please? Can we? We had a, we had a, we had a, we had a, significantly more stressful birth story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not that part. That part's the sickest part of the birth story for us, because Paige was fucking sky flying with the dragon on fentanyl. It, nah. She's having a great time once that shit went in.
Starting point is 01:20:02 Nah, man. It took like a third application for it to go. And you're like, what? Are you the student? are you the perfect like what is happening with that you know yeah you know um and we're there and like it's one of those bits where it's just like oh what she's feeling right now it's like no no this shouldn't be happening this should be way way way much more muted and we should be able to get a little break before the pushing begins and it was just like nah you know um so that was
Starting point is 01:20:39 shitty uh that sucked um um Like, you don't want anyone to be a weak link, but that's a, that's an important weak link, man. Yeah. And, uh, hold on a second. Oh, yeah. And then the one other bit was like, while we're in there in the beginning and one of the early, the early nurses is coming in and greeting the file out and stuff. And is like, okay, cool.
Starting point is 01:21:13 And so you took care of this and you took care of that and all these did a little bit. it's um and um uh the the the one person uh we had up front was kind of like
Starting point is 01:21:28 uh okay so looking at your medical file and we have all these things here and you had you know any of these prescriptions and these things and whatever and then she's like okay cool and um and yeah um and so miss miss punchmom and so you also uh or earlier you had the the herpes treatment right and she's like
Starting point is 01:21:46 what? And I'm sitting there, I'm like, huh? And she's like, Hello? No? And he's like, no. Sir?
Starting point is 01:22:02 On your, on your file here, you know, we prescribed you the Valtrex and that was a thing. And I was like, okay, I'm just going to chill here and we'll just see what's going on. There's no, you know, wait, I, but that. And she's like, no, I don't think that's really a thing. I'm pretty sure that would have been And there's that kind of that moment of like Like Uh huh and you're like
Starting point is 01:22:29 Okay is he Now he's like confused but he's going Uh okay no I think that was I'm pretty sure that's what it was And then it's like she's like no And then I'm like Oh okay and you're like Is this a thing that you guys are supposed to have confidential
Starting point is 01:22:42 Equality about and I'm here And was I supposed to leave the fuck? Was I supposed to leave the room before you did that And then you did that and is she now having a weird Is this a life changing moment of like, oh dear God, like what is going on? And, are you looking at the right file?
Starting point is 01:22:57 Nope, he was looking at the wrong file. Oh my God! You can't do that! You can't do that! He was looking. He mixed up the files. The room next to us. He just took the file from the room next to us,
Starting point is 01:23:14 and he started going down. You can't do that shit. That's not... Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, okay, cool.
Starting point is 01:23:30 And he left. And we're just like, yo. Right? Right? And it's like, oh, and I'm like, okay. So now you have, and I'm like, hey, look, look, hey, you see that? You see how I responded? You see how I responded there, right?
Starting point is 01:23:47 Like, could you imagine? What if I just went, you were like, what if I blew up? Could you imagine? Totally crash. What if I just, right? Right? Right. But you saw.
Starting point is 01:23:55 totally lost it. But you saw I was chill and I waited for the facts and then to discuss what the fuck just happened there, right? Very, very much so. So what you're saying,
Starting point is 01:24:04 so what you're saying is that during the single most stressful time in your wife's life while she's giving birth to the new life for you, you were like, hey, how why we all sit around and pat me on the back?
Starting point is 01:24:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you notice? Did you notice how chill, right? Because, because yeah, that's a watch. Stupid. Asshole. And this was well before anything started.
Starting point is 01:24:33 This was just the beginning of the day. There was those we just, we got in sat down. They went over the file and that came up and we're just like, what has been happening, you know? Yeah, what secret life has been going on? Oh, you just literally grabbed the wrong piece of paper. And then, and then all of them.
Starting point is 01:24:52 But now you've got that shit in your head for the people next door. And, well, you've got that. You've got the fact that there's C-section twins going down not too far from us as well, right? And you're like, ooh, damn, okay, that's going down. Mm-hmm. But the fact that that happened, right? And I'm then like, oh, this is why they have that thing where they're like, you can say, I want my baby to never leave my sight until we leave the hospital.
Starting point is 01:25:20 Oh, he never left our site. You can check a box or whatever for any reason to be like, No, no, no, no, no. There's no point at which there's ever going to be anyone. Yeah, you can lock on and stay locked on the entire time. And that is a, that is a, that is a, once. Yeah, that is an included part of what is, is, is, is a part of the service there type of thing.
Starting point is 01:25:39 And so I, I did not close my eyes. Yeah. After the boy was out until Paige had slept, like, gotten out off her epidural, and was alert and awake. Mm-hmm. Because there was going to be direct eye to baby contact. Straight up. The whole time between the both of us.
Starting point is 01:25:59 You know. No, no, no. Now, granted, I had a tiny little red-headed baby that looked just like me. So it was going to be pretty easy. Yeah. You know, we got the, and you got the arm thing and the leg thing, but it doesn't matter. When fuck-ups like that happen, you go, this is why we keep locked on the entire time, Z-target all the way through till we're home, you know? She popped out with a humongous head of hair.
Starting point is 01:26:25 Like huge head of hair. She's fully just, it's all there. There's very little else to do. It's kind of crazy. And it turns out, for some unknown reason, when kids have, like, the more hair they're born with, the more heartburn the mother experiences. Absolutely. 100%.
Starting point is 01:26:46 And we don't know why, but it's just a correlated thing. Yeah, that's an old wives tale that is rock solid. It's crazy, right? Like, I don't, it's crazy that it's real, but, but they don't know why yet. Um, but apparently so. And she, she did have, she did have, uh, you know, she did, like, it's just weird. Um, anyway. Chemicals, man.
Starting point is 01:27:09 Um, so, uh, um, yeah, like acid reflux stuff. Uh, anyway, so, so there was that part of it. Um, it is, it, that's, that's crazy. Um, it is, it is. And it's also like, it is interesting how, I mean, effectively what the entire process of baby learning to exist is baby just doing random things until they work. Right. Yeah. And then like to the point where you're, got to learn out of poop.
Starting point is 01:27:39 Got to learn out of poop. Then the body goes, oh, this is what we're doing. And then in sleep, you can kind of kind of see like, you would feel the, the system warming up, right? The intestines and the lower and like the stomach and all of it figuring out how to process a thing and go like, ah, get out of there. And all of it is just like, I'm flailing and doing random things and like, hopefully one of these things is going to be successful at work. And that is pretty much how, like, you know, life and things evolved in general, right? You do random shit until it works. And then you're like, oh, keep doing that thing.
Starting point is 01:28:06 That seems to be going well. And like, dude, tummy time is like, kids hate tummy time. But, like, you want to get them so mad that they're like, want this tummy shit to stop. Right, right, right. And then they, that's it. That's the whole idea of my idea. And then they hulk out and like do lifts. Yeah, and then they push up, right?
Starting point is 01:28:28 Exactly. The, and that whole thing is like to the point where, you know, it's like I'm crying because I want the boob. And the boob is in my mouth. And the milk is already in my mouth. And all I have to do is swallow. But I'm so upset that I can't get past that part. And you're like, everything you want is right there. Woolly.
Starting point is 01:28:50 Just. just swallow. We've all been there. We've all been there. You're all, like, we've brought you all the way to the finish line. You're past it now, actually. You don't even have to, like, cross the finish line. You're already past it. Just lift your hand up. Dude, I literally dealt with that, like, two, three days ago where my little man was like, want fries. And I look over at him and, like, he's got his plate and his ketchup and his fries. And I'm like, you have fries. You have fries. fries. Wah fries. You, you, brother. I literally said, brother, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:31 Yeah. You have them. Yeah. No give, only throw. Right. That's it, you know. But this entire, this entire process of just, you just flail and then something works and then they kind of clue in and then they start doing it again. What is life, if not for a giant lab?
Starting point is 01:29:50 Yeah. And and what is becoming a person, if not just labbing everything until it works and then locking in the tech? So I'm, I'm torn, Willie, because on the one hand, I'm like, that's really sweet. And on the other hand, I'm like, you have a brain disease. That you are, you are warped in a way I could not have anticipated. Hey, man. I saw, I saw a target. I shot for it.
Starting point is 01:30:18 Um, yeah, you know, we have that on lock and, you know, um, at a point to like, uh, heading, heading back over to, to, to, you know, see a nurse at the hospital and stuff and, um, pull it up to the parking being like, um, as we get through the gates being like, yeah, we're here to return a baby. And I'm like, okay, I'm working on my, working on working on my, working on my dad bits and, you know, tough crowd. tough crowd but uh we get it doesn't play i enjoy my laughs no no she laughed yeah she laughed yeah she laughs no it doesn't like those like listen those people hear that for real which like you have to you have to take that into account um yeah and you know um i mean that that was that was that was it and you know the the entire the entire thing too of like what's funny too about i guess uh Some of that, that whole, you know, like, like labor process and everything was the, yeah, it was pretty funny, huh? It was. It was. There was funny. There was funny. Right.
Starting point is 01:31:26 Did they give you like an ice bed to sleep on? Oh. Actually, so I had, they gave, they had a couch that folds out to a flatbed, which was dope. But I didn't know how the back head part worked. So it was kind of worthless in the end. Dude, that's, that's really hard. That must have been tough. Well, the pro, the problem. The problem. There was a, there was a, problem. Now hold on. There was a problem where I was sitting on it and I was holding newborn. And then I leaned back to do some of the, you know, the skin to skin. And then the part that separates has a big hole gap. And so I'm going, uh, into nothing. I'm sitting and leaning my back over air and fall with baby here. And that sucks. And I'm like, fuck this chair forever then. Right. And I'm sure you actually discovered that you. your reflexes in vital situations are actually way better than you thought they were. Oh, they're. Oh, oh, we are. Yo, visual calculus just went to nine, bro.
Starting point is 01:32:27 It's like, oh, like, you bust out a couple of the dad moves and you're like, wow, this is some extra, extra juice got rooted to this as soon as the baby showed up, because I was not this quick before. Burp towels and things falling off of things and I'm currently using feet and such to catch those. No, no baby saves yet, but I'm preparing for the, potential because especially there's some of those. There's predictable thrashing, predictable pushing, and then every once in a while a just yeat, right? Every once in a while, newborn is like, what happens if I throw myself as hard as I can back this way? And my center of gravity is actually my head, not my body.
Starting point is 01:33:04 So even though you're securing my body, my head is really where it's all going to go. So what if I did that, though? The baby is neck-oriented. For maybe eight, nine months, I had that dude in like a, like, a, back facing chokehold like nearly like just the whole hand around the entire back of the head yeah and then the other arm just like this yeah then you get really good at like the tuck just jam the baby in the crook of the arm and then just lock it in as long well what i want as long as head is in a in a safe direction right oh yeah that's what your shoulders for but oh
Starting point is 01:33:40 okay you mean face down like head turned and then body on you this way face up neck on your shoulder The back of the head over the... Yes. Okay. Okay. That, that, that. Okay. Right. Um, yeah. So, no, I'm not, I'm not, uh, ultra instinct yet, but like the first, the first shine is starting to show, you know, a little bit. Uh, we'll see when, when a clutch save comes through. Um, yeah. Uh, I don't know. That's, that's baby, man. Um, are you ready to talk? talk about one thing to everyone in your physical vicinity ad nauseum for like the rest of your life. So not only has, am I super ready, but it's already begun because the process of talking to people about the pregnancy even has elicited that. And I said before, you can tell which friends are like, oh, yeah, okay, I've been through it too. Here's my thing. Or which friends are like, oh, wow, I haven't been through it, but I care about you,
Starting point is 01:34:47 and so we're going to be talking about this, and wow, that's nuts. And which ones are just like... And my personal favorite, which is, whoa, that's crazy. Did you see that Kamenrider's skull is going to be in Super Robot Wars? Yes, I didn't see that. And, like, I had a turning point on that where I was just like, am I talking about the baby too much? And this is like on stream as well.
Starting point is 01:35:14 And then I just like... was like, well, it's only the single most interesting thing that's ever happened to me by multiple orders of magnitude. But hey, man, no big deal. Of course. Of course. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, that's, that's that's that. And the process is going to continue.
Starting point is 01:35:34 And, you know, I guess eventually, I don't know, like there's all this stuff about like, hey, it's, you smell. Did you smell that? that new baby smell that that you know what they talk about it's fucking cookies and you know why because that's that it's the vernics it's the cream cheese that they that no no it's not that no it's not okay like yes the vernics yeah but like that new baby smell our guy still has some of that new baby smell oh okay like like you give him a big hug you're like oh yeah that's that's my legacy right there Oh, cutest guy in the world. Smells like legacy.
Starting point is 01:36:17 Jesus Christ. No, no. Your kid will either stink or smell like crack. So I don't think in our case that's what's going on because the hat that they gave her right away, like from with all that verdicts and shit, that hat still has that cookie smell way more than she does. Yeah. Right. So there is a difference for sure, you know. And yeah, you know, I mean, there's all the, whatever, all the little things you look up and read about and you're, you know, cut the umbilical cord, et cetera. And then it's like, okay, and that's just going to hang there. And it eventually it's going to fuck off. You know, but, but just it's, there it is. And you're just like, oh, man, that thing is kind of weird looking and, and it's, it's crusting up. And then there's points where I'm just like, God fucking damn it, can't I just pour the milk in here instead?
Starting point is 01:37:12 Can I just, if you're, can I just pour it in here and it'll be easier. It'll be easier to just get it in here, you know? Yeah. Anyways, anyways, that's, that's, you know, that's what's up. That's what's up. It's cool, though, to have the little, like, um, uh, uh, another thing was like, oh, you can, you can do the finger in the mouth and like, elicit like the trigger, like sucking response. And then, you know, kind of like you soothe a little bit.
Starting point is 01:37:46 And that's good for giving them like a vitamin D drop or something. And then you can pull it out slowly. And then that'll increase their like force for like, okay, they're going to suck harder. And then that's good for, you know, their ability to feed and stuff. And then, but if your dad doing that and you don't immediately follow it up with, again, the real milk, you're just making the problem worse, actually. Because then you're just reminding them how useless you are. you know
Starting point is 01:38:12 it wouldn't it be cool if you had some milk right now I don't have any what use are you to me dumb dumb what good are you fucking delete yourself father
Starting point is 01:38:23 away with you she's interested in seeing in seeing you just crumble to the whims
Starting point is 01:38:35 of a little girl man see big tough smart Wully Just absolutely disintegrate
Starting point is 01:38:44 It's over It's done I have I have never been more cooked There's no surviving Like again Just Yeah
Starting point is 01:38:53 He You're like Yeah Okay All right What the fuck Destroy everything Burn it all down
Starting point is 01:39:00 Who do you need me to kill Like What are we doing here Yeah Yeah And here's the And the thing is too is that like, now imagine trying to resist like those charms while sleep deprived and not in your right mind.
Starting point is 01:39:19 It's like while you're extra, extra not thinking straight, you know? Well, luckily enough, you don't have to. Right now, yeah, give them everything they want. Only once they gain the ability to, you know, have brain thoughts, do you have to actually deal with? No, man. Yeah. Like, and here's the thing, depending on your personality, like our little dude will like, you know, hey, you can have a piece of a cookie. You'll eat the cookie.
Starting point is 01:39:53 You'll go more, more please. I'm like, no. Here come the tears. Here it comes. But like, it's really adorable because you get to see the, like, no, I'm not giving you a cookie. And then he'll turn to the other one. Okay. And point at me and go, dad didn't.
Starting point is 01:40:12 And like, he's clearly talking shit. Okay, so, so, so can I get real? Can I get real, real? Can I get super real? Can I get as real as it gets? Okay, because, okay. So, you know, when you're, you're doing your ultrasounds and you're not sure how things are going to go, right? And everything's, everything's coming up and you're just like, listen.
Starting point is 01:40:32 Nobody likes to talk about it. But sometimes in life, there are, uh-go fucking babies. Let's just be real. There are some babies that are ugly. And you're kind of like... And they're just as deserving of love... Beautiful little princes and princesses, all of them. Right?
Starting point is 01:40:51 But you're like... But sometimes you're just like, oh, boy, right? And I'm like, okay, so we talk and we're just like, listen, there's a chance. You never know what kind of what's going to happen here, right? We just need to be prepared for what's going to happen. Babies are squishy when they get born naturally. Sometimes they get a little football head.
Starting point is 01:41:07 And look, and look, it might even be one of these things where it's like, and if that goes on to be like, you know, a go, baby into a go person or whatever. Okay, well then, hey, they'll have a great sense of humor and then we'll just work on every other thing in life and it'll be fine, right? No problems there or whatever. It'll be good. And you know what? Quite frankly, if you're too attractive, life gets too easy anyways and then people start manipulating you and it's a whole other slew of problem. So who knows, right? Let's just, let's just preemptively just be like, yeah, we don't know what we'll get. But let that just, we know that's a possibility. She's fucking gorgeous. She's perfect. affection. She's the cutest shit ever. And it's a problem. Like, she's so, like, the features are like, like, the cheek and the everything. And you're like, uh, yeah, um, fuck those, I'll go babies. That ain't my problem. Okay. We are way past that point.
Starting point is 01:42:02 Okay. So, she is, she is cruising. Okay. So here's, here's the danger. A mixed goddess approaches. Okay. Here's, here's the danger. Right. Okay. You and I earlier are under duress from an onslaught. Like the most amount of chemicals your body will ever throw at you in your life. You are the most diminished incapacity ever. However, what you will do over the next two years, three years, four years is what Paige and I have done is we keep all the photos and go, no, no, no, we were right now.
Starting point is 01:42:41 Dead on. Cutest baby ever. No, I'm not looking back on these. Oh, yeah. No, rock solid, cutest baby ever seen. Yeah. When our little dude came out via C-section, the operating room went, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:02 No, and then that's it, right? And then eventually at some point, they join, you know, the class and all the others, and you just kind of look around and you're like, mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, all right. No, just make it sure. No, no, no, no. I'm glad I didn't know if your personality was like this because everybody's different, right?
Starting point is 01:43:20 Because when you become a parent, you are about to embark on a two-pronged journey. Journey one is judging other parents like you wouldn't fucking believe. Like, the self-righteousness and like the, oh my God, can you believe, and with your wife, like, because you're such a, you're a team,
Starting point is 01:43:38 you're on the United Front, But can you believe the Johnson's? Holy shit. But that's like the little tiny version. No, the real version is judgment of other people's shitty children who aren't shit compared to your perfect angel. Those other kids? Oh my God. No, no.
Starting point is 01:43:57 I was pre-up. Pathetic loser children, really. I was preemptively huffing some copium that I did not need to because we're fucking, it's done done. She's untouchable. That's the end of that. Um, no, punch kid forever. Punch girl forever. Um, the, um, on that, I'm speaking of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of copium, actually, it's kind of funny, because I was wondering, I was like, oh, like, what are the different levels of escalation for pain management we're going to get to here? Because, you know, if we're getting to that good shit, right? If we need to, I know that's on the table. And, uh, what they actually went to once, especially when
Starting point is 01:44:36 fucking, you know, our epidural master was crushing it, the greatest anesthesiologist in the world. They were like, hey, do you want to get some of that laughing gas? And it was like, fucking whatever, man, yeah. And out comes the laughing gas.
Starting point is 01:44:57 And it's like, oh, whatever works. You know? Have you had the nitrous? No, I haven't. but wow, what a device. And Paige is also, I don't think it was, I don't know if it was for the pregnancy. I think it might have been for a different, like, check, but they gave her the gas. Gas is all right.
Starting point is 01:45:16 Yeah? The gas is all right. Okay. Okay. Yeah, no, I've never, you know. I know that, like, you know, she's kind of saying. It's a really strange form of pain management because none of the pain goes away. You just cease giving a shit. Right. Okay. Like, I think it was a little too dizzying, though, and that, and that's the part
Starting point is 01:45:35 that I think she didn't like. But like overall, yeah, apparently it just, it does work as an amazing distraction. And you just have the thing and it makes a noise and all of that stuff, you know. Hey, I need to be right back. There you go. There you go. There you go. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:45:56 Being a parent is fun. Yeah. Sometimes you're doing a podcast and you look at Discord and you just see lowercase help. Yep. Yep. fucking just like right before starting it's like oh shit we got a we got a feed going need need to take care of that pod later pod later who cares you know um we had yogurt sticks to everything ah there we go there we go yeah no it it i know that like um it's been a long time
Starting point is 01:46:34 And, you know, I always, when I used to remind everybody listening that, like, we used to do this offline and we would just record when life suited. And then it would show up when it was ready and that was it. You didn't have to worry about the live part of it. And now that it's been long enough, folks are spoiled on the concept of the schedule. The schedule has never met less. In this moment right here. Even if not for the coronavirus. and me moving all the way out here, etc.
Starting point is 01:47:07 As of today, this show would have been fully remote for the foreseeable future forever because we both need to be here and also the ability to sprint away if need be. And but yeah, and just alongside that, the feeling of, oh no, my scheduled like thing that was supposed to, yeah, go fuck off. No. You know, it's out when it's out. That's going to be that. What? Yeah, so the
Starting point is 01:47:34 The checklist from earlier, diaper, food, temperature, burping, position, or other. That... On we? Yeah. That wraps up around how many months? A three. It's the fourth trimester. Okay.
Starting point is 01:47:57 You are dealing with essentially a sleeping... food demanding poop machine for about three months and at the two three month mark is when the personality is going to start to come in so yeah that first three months is maintain
Starting point is 01:48:17 and keep yourself sane and the thing is too as well that it was something that like again you want to talk about old school versus new school right some of the more old school folks in life being like oh sometimes just let them cry it out you know they're going to need to learn to like that not
Starting point is 01:48:36 everything is not every need is going to be attended to in some cases not only do i not believe in that i don't know how anyone could manage it so the one yeah right the noise the noise is soul searing to begin with but that aside that of that aside the whole like cry it out thing um they specific like we are like the current textbooks are like... Yeah, that's a hard line in the sand from now and to 20 years ago. You cannot spoil a newborn.
Starting point is 01:49:10 They have no... They have no concept of time. Can't do it. Can't boil them. They don't know that things take long or short or that you're ignoring them and letting them get tired
Starting point is 01:49:21 or that you're coming right away. They have no idea. It does not make any sense. As Paige, as Paige says, they don't even know ABCs. yeah no so you know
Starting point is 01:49:34 that's that's one of those ones we're like shit okay right that makes that checks out that makes a ton of fucking sense um the uh uh the the thing I was gonna bring up to is after the laughing gas bit was just
Starting point is 01:49:49 um some of those like uh contraction pain um management things involved some of them involve literally just grabbing a comb and squeezing it to hurt yourself so that it distracts from what else the pain elsewhere or pinching them and pressing pressure points and doing fist of the North Star shit.
Starting point is 01:50:12 Oh, yeah, 100%. You know, to create more pain elsewhere and it's not going to make it stop. It's just going to distract you. And it's like, oh, that actually helped? It was like, yeah, it's super dead. Crazy, you know. Anyway, anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that's that.
Starting point is 01:50:32 Oh, I think we'll be talking about this for at least a week or two more. Maybe even a month. Oh, man. And, and, and I was kind of wondering, I was like, are we gonna, is she gonna, you know, be a guest? But, uh, I think she's chilling. So, you know, probably busy, Willie. I think so. But she's, she's busy learning how to exist and recouping all energies.
Starting point is 01:50:59 Did you know that if you feed for. too long, they spent so much energy feeding that then, like, they go down and need more energy because they spent too much on the feed that you got to feed them again. Yeah, I got to tell you, man, babies, they kind of don't got a lot going on. The recursive feed loop is a serious danger that if you take too long, they spend too much battery and then you have to recharge that same battery you were just recharging. Fuck. Fuck, man
Starting point is 01:51:30 God damn it, dude All right They're doing their best What else is going on? Who cares? I've been waiting to do that all I've been waiting to know Yeah, all right
Starting point is 01:51:49 He's right, he's right, you know Well, here's what's going on I'm at the phase right now Where I hand the little man some milk And you remember do-do, right? Thank you. Mm-hmm. So now I hand at Ms. Melig and go, and what do you say?
Starting point is 01:52:08 And he responds with, please, and I say do-d-do-do. So fully able to say thank you. Aware, aware. Is literally out loud saying, and then I say do-to. Yeah. I understand the exchange. I see your offer. And I choose to reject it, actually.
Starting point is 01:52:33 I give you what you want to hear, but also I choose to add this. Adorable. My terms. My terms. So what else did you do with your week, Wolf? I don't know. You've seen good animates. Fucking.
Starting point is 01:52:48 We played an episode of Severance while we were in there. I brought the Steam deck, and that was a good distraction for a minute, played unpacking, you know. Hey, let me ask you. How hard did it hit you that like everything in your life is totally pointless? How hard did that like slam in you? Dude. We can't have this discussion on Mike. We're supposed to have a podcast about video games to continue getting money.
Starting point is 01:53:19 If we tell everybody on our podcast about video games how much none of this matters, then we're not going to get the money, Pat. shut the fuck up and keep it moving. Bro, I'll walk away right. I don't give a shit. Hey, that sounds like a great time to thank our sponsors. Oh, boy, you know what matters? I gotta get the dog.
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Starting point is 01:57:48 ages of no fishies. Oh, we have already started the return. You know, I've made the last list of like, like, yeah, the, the, the, the, that which was banned, um, which can now be inhaled like crack, um, is making its return. And I tell you one thing. Salmon and fish is absolutely up there. Um, Asian inspired meals with bold flavors, uh, as well. You can get on, uh, that, uh, you get all those options. And, um, for better nutrition, 97% of customers say that Factor help them live the healthier life. That's awesome. That's super crucial.
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Starting point is 02:03:16 Okay, so I watched Superman. Yeah. Really liked it. Page also really liked it. Takeaway. this is the Lex Luthor I always wanted. Yeah. It's the absolute most spiteful
Starting point is 02:03:27 motherfucking piss baby shit flinging fucking tantrum throwing bitch Lex Luthor. Yeah. But Pat, how did you deal with the fucking woke? What?
Starting point is 02:03:42 The wokeness of the Superman. Just disgustingly fucking political. Is this about the squirrel? You know what? You know what? Yeah. Actually, I can make this bit work.
Starting point is 02:04:10 The saving of the squirrel shows empathy, a thing that a whole lot of people apparently just don't fucking have. And your ability to empathize with the other person that's not you is a huge problem that kind of defines the reason why our entire world state is the way it is. Because some people have empathy and some people don't. And it's a huge problem with planet Earth. And the fact that he has empathy and he's saving that squirrel is fucking gross, man. That's disgusting.
Starting point is 02:04:42 What the fuck? That's not what I wanted. I don't want that in my Superman. Don't preach at me. Man, you got to be a fucking massive piss baby to get your fucking dick twisted about a Superman movie. Yeah. Or super down for dead kids. I don't know.
Starting point is 02:05:00 Whichever. Take your pick. You know. So I like Superman. Okay. Superman's pretty good. Yeah, no. Not that one.
Starting point is 02:05:09 All right. Also watched the first episode of Peacemaker, which was, it's all right. Um, hey, yo, why? Hold on. Somebody asked to talk about Jimmy Olson. Yo, what's going on with Jimmy Olson's Riz mastery? Yo. You mean, you mean, you mean, like, look that up afterwards?
Starting point is 02:05:26 You mean sex god Jimmy, the unstoppable? We thought it was being played for goofs for a bit And then we were like, no, no, no, wait, it's not being played for goofs. And then I pulled up some old comic books on that internet and was like, wait, what? He who beds those across a spanning fucking galaxy of worlds? Yeah. What's up with that? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:05:51 Hey, guess what? Olson fucks, bro. End of story. What else? Me and Page is a sponsor stream of a game called Abysus that came out relatively recently. Oh yeah, how'd that go? Extremely well. It's excellent.
Starting point is 02:06:08 It's the easiest sponsored stream to do, a game that actually just rules, and it's really good and fun to play. It is, it's basically Hades, but under the ocean. Eldritch, like Kutulu, Mayan shit. Nice. But instead of playing like a third-person action game with melee. combat. It is, it plays like borderlands. Like I could, I could go around and compare it to a bunch of things. No,
Starting point is 02:06:34 it plays just like borderlands. Oh, first person. Yeah. Okay. And it is go through your set of rooms, shoot some golems or some fish people, get to the end of the room, get your upgrade that gives you chain
Starting point is 02:06:50 lightning or defensive bonuses or a weapon upgrade that changes how your gun shoots. and it feels really good to shoot after the stream. I went and I've been playing it for a couple days and I've beat it six or seven times. It's excellent. It has one problem that will likely be solved
Starting point is 02:07:12 over time with patches. And the problem is that the permanent upgrade tree, like, you know, the mirror of darkness equivalent from Hades, it's actually super easy to max out. Okay. I maxed it out in about nine hours. Like completely maxed out every single upgrade. And then at hour 12, I unlocked every gun and every ability and every sub weapon.
Starting point is 02:07:41 Okay. And then at hour 14, I was like, wow, there's literally nothing to do. Then increase the difficulty and chase achievements. Yeah. Okay. You're unstoppable. Like, I, like, you can. they have a heat equivalent, but it's depth because it's under the ocean.
Starting point is 02:08:01 But there's no progression tied to the increased difficulty. It's just achievements. Okay. The increased depth is just making it go longer, but it's not getting harder. It's just to make it harder just to see what you can do. And it's like, I need a little bit more of a carrot. Yeah, in a road map. What's that?
Starting point is 02:08:21 No, I was going to say in a rogue like or like Haiti's like game, 15 hours to Godhood is pretty quick. I think that Hades has like kind of the perfect formula where it gives you very small incremental upgrades as you increase the difficulty. And when you increase the heat or the fear
Starting point is 02:08:38 in Hades 1 and 2, the difficulty like shoots up. Like it really dramatically increases. But here it just doesn't feel the same. Like once you're broken, boy you're broken in this game. They do have a roadmap. They are going to be adding more content over the next couple of
Starting point is 02:08:54 slash years. But for right now, I got like pretty much everything I wanted out of it after about 14 and a half hours. But I really enjoyed it quite a bit. Okay. But it's just it was it's the only one of these rogolikes that I like, I actually like feel like I definitively finished it within three nights. Is the FPSing like are we on an ultra kill style like fucking go? No, it's borderlands. Borderlands. Okay. It is it is like explicitly borderlands. It is like explicitly borderlands. the way you shoot, the way you move, the acceleration, the way, the arc on your grenade, the way turrets work, like, it is borderlands coded, like 100%. And I really like the way borderlands shoots.
Starting point is 02:09:39 So that was a very happiness to me. I also got some codes for nothing. Close call. Nice save. Yeah. Nothing. All right. I started playing...
Starting point is 02:10:00 I want one of those. I started playing Trails in the Sky, Legend of Heroes, the first game, the PSP game from 2004. Okay, okay. This is one of those things where the name is a title that is in my brain, but I'm like, what actually is it? It's the one that has discount Oscar on the cover? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 02:10:23 No, I know the artwork and I know the logo. And I... Trails in the Sky, Legend of Heroes Trails in the Sky. First Chapter. Okay. Not to be confused with the first chapter remake coming out in two weeks. No, the old one. Isometric view, not 3D third person camera.
Starting point is 02:10:44 Like old-timey, like 3D model Sega Saturn looking chivis. Okay. Yeah. Um, this is also one of those games that, uh, I believe we made fun of because of its really forgettable name. Yeah, quite terrible. So there's like 17, 18 of these now. And they're all quite good.
Starting point is 02:11:11 But I never went into them because they represented the most disastrous attack on my obsessive-compulsive sensibilities. So in the Trails series, every single quest chain main event quest thing has a full-blown worldwide dialogue shift for every available character. So, hey, we got to go save the people at the mine. Getting the mission to go to the mine is a time of day where every single NPC in the game has their own dialogue. Then going into the mine, but then coming back out, everybody in town has a different line of dialogue. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 02:11:50 Leaving the mine halfway through the quest stage, everyone has a new line of dialogue. finishing the mind but not turning it in everybody like etc etc etc etc etc etc so i was pitched this game by somebody who was obsessed with that shit and was like oh my god it's so crazy they take so long to localize these because they have every character has so much dialogue and it's like a living world and and you can just you could just learn about all the NPCs every day and you just talk to them so what did pat back in 2010 try and do I tried to talk to every single MPC at every single stage of the quest
Starting point is 02:12:28 and burn the fuck out. Is this the new B-line? As a result of Xenobled, by the way, I'm on track to beat Zeno Blade 1 in 34 hours. Okay. Which is like 25 below how long to beat's main. As a result, I just started playing it like a normal human
Starting point is 02:12:50 and I've been really enjoying it, though it is quite old. Okay. So, can you hold on a second? I think that dog needs to go out. Yeah, BRB. Anyway, it feels like, I don't know what this, Trails in the Sky feels like a Sega Saturn RPG that I just completely missed out on.
Starting point is 02:13:12 Like, it feels like someone walked up to me and went, have you ever heard of a game series called Final Fantasy? And I went, no. Okay. Tell me about it. And you would have gotten in heart if you played it differently back then. Oh yeah, it's great. Okay.
Starting point is 02:13:32 It's great. It's a little tropey and it's a little, but it's like it's of its time. It's from 2004. It's a Falcom game. It's nostalgic, which is weird because I didn't experience it at the time. Hmm.
Starting point is 02:13:51 So is there or what is this one of, those things where the remake is already like a problem? So yeah, here's what happened, right? Because it always is. My timeline is getting excited for the remake. And I went, oh, cool, maybe I'll try that. And someone reached out to me and said, hey, just to let you know, that game
Starting point is 02:14:08 ends on a vicious cliffhanger. And that it'll take at least a couple of years for them to remake the second game and then the third game. But those games already exist. So what's going to happen?
Starting point is 02:14:24 is you're going to play through the remake and go, oh my God, I need to find out what happens first. And then I'll go from the 2025 next gen remake of the first game to the 2005 PSP game. And I went, I'm not only not doing that, I'm just going to go back and play them in the order of release. And one day in 15 years, I'll get to the remake coming out next year. I mean, look, as somebody who watched an FF7 remake into original FF7 run happen, I'm like, it's not the worst thing in the world, but you just have to obviously prepare yourself for the mechanical regression.
Starting point is 02:15:09 Here's what would happen. I would play through the brand new remake with Estelle and Josh, and then I would go, wow, this game's really old for Trails in the Sky, second chapter. Trails in the sky, third chapter, trails into zero, trails into Azure, trails into sky, cold steel, one, two, three, four. And then when I get to trails from daybreak, I'll be like, oh, this starting to feel close to where I was at. Okay. That first one that I play. It's Jakusa. It's like, yeah, no, it's yakasa times a hundred.
Starting point is 02:15:53 Oh, I missed an entire series. Got it. Yeah. So it would be like playing fucking Yakuza Infinite Wealth and going back to Yakuza 1 on PS2 and then having six games of that. Yeah. Yeah. So, no, I'm just going to play the old one. And I'm liking it.
Starting point is 02:16:15 It's good. It's very chill. It's also extremely low stimulus because it's old and slow. Ah, there you go. There you go. Yeah. Yeah, man, only Japan hits with those, um, just iterative releases, huh? They just don't do it like that here.
Starting point is 02:16:33 No. Well, aside from Madden Hall of Duty. Aside from the EA sports and EAization of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Uh, and, uh, for Pat, I think that's it. Uh, other than a couple of, pieces of news that I'm very interested in this week. Okay.
Starting point is 02:17:00 Yeah. Did you, by the way, as side note, did you have that moment when you looked at like your closet and just grabbed all of your fun t-shirts and threw them in the garbage and just got the zipper things only because everything has to be able to open from the front? My t-shirts? What? For baby. why I don't I actually don't understand what you're talking about for baby skin to skin like I feel like I went through all my clothes and just went
Starting point is 02:17:33 this is all worthless because I have to be able to put baby on chest just take your shirt off yeah yeah I just take my shirt off yeah that's that's doable too I put my shirt on to come over here okay fair enough it's also walking around with my mobs out nearly all the time. Okay. Baby also likes it pretty cold, which is a thing you're supposed to do. That's why my mobs are out, so they get cold.
Starting point is 02:18:02 Okay. That's what I want for them. Okay. Well, I went for the shirts that opened up from the front so that I can do that. That's all I was asking. All right. Yeah, I just bear, dude, unless I'm going out, like, as I'm getting older, I'm just wearing like less and less casual clothing in my house.
Starting point is 02:18:24 Okay. Like the delivery guy who brought, like, we got like, we got a, what the hell we get? We, uh, we got, um, uh, swim diapers in the mail. And I'm pretty sure the delivery guy saw my tits. Okay. And good for him. Well, like, good for him. He gets a show.
Starting point is 02:18:43 Let me just let the perplexed chat know that, uh, my house is pretty cold. So it's more comfortable. Your house is not pretty cold. It's pretty comfortable for me to wear a sleeveless zip forward. I want to, if you're going to put that information out there, I would like to challenge you on it. Your house is not pretty cold. It is pretty cold to you, not to a regular human. My house, okay, up in the studio is where all the heat rises, but where the baby is is very cold.
Starting point is 02:19:18 right now because you're supposed to keep that shit pretty cold. Dude, I can't believe the temperatures that my son wanted to go to sleep in. They tell you. 62 degrees and he'd be like, if you put a blanket on me, I'll freak out. Yeah, they tell you, they tell you to, they tell you 20, 21 degrees is where you'll want to keep it for baby. Yeah, well, that's going to depend on your baby's temperament and desires. I guess so, you know, but like at 2021 locked in, it's. like, yeah, it's more comfortable to do a zip shirt than it is to go full shirt off on it.
Starting point is 02:19:55 Yeah, just take your shirt off and just point the glass cutters away from baby. Oh, they don't, they don't do that, but yeah. Anyways, okay, I asked a question. Nobody understood. Never mind, moving on. What's up? Just take your tits out, Dad. Nah.
Starting point is 02:20:13 Come on. I mean, I do. I did. But if we're in the cold room, we're being. maybe is like it's it's much more comfortable to have at least the fucking half layer on yeah so uh what uh what else oh yeah if you want to see me beat xenoblaid this week play some sagot and street fighter uh and also check out both the old shinobi and the new shinobi this week go down to twitch dot tv slash pat stares at oh you know what i played strider last week and fucking uh
Starting point is 02:20:46 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Contra hardcore. Mm-hmm. Man, Strider aged like shit like you wouldn't fucking... Nah, strider's great. No. No.
Starting point is 02:20:55 A million years ago, it's dumb and terrible. Okay, no, no, no. Okay, first of all, I'm playing the arcade one each time. And it's... No, no, no, no. I don't care about no Genesis port. I'm playing Arcade Strider. That's all I know and fucking give a shit about.
Starting point is 02:21:10 And it's terribly awesome. It's perfect. Busted dumb bullshit. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. That's it for me, I think. Cool. Sorry, excuse me, one second, BRB.
Starting point is 02:21:32 Okay. All good. Apparently earlier, at some point, Punchbaum started laughing and at us, and that startled her. The startled baby. Good side. Good sign. So, so here we go. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:21:52 Stop being so funny and charming. Right. Also got a, it's already in place, but like mental defenses for like for saying names. It's just got to be like, got to make sure you got that on lock,
Starting point is 02:22:06 you know. The, what was I going to say? Yeah, no, as I said on Twitter Like, she'll check in in a decade or two Or not Or not depends on what she feels like Dad, your shit's so cringe
Starting point is 02:22:27 Hold on, I need to jack into the shittier Matrix Blah. It's going to be terrible. So luckily there was no news this week Not even one news End of podcast, bye No, there was at least There was at least a couple newses
Starting point is 02:22:46 Okay, well, how about this one? Let's just start real quick. As we have been talking, Hey, guess what? Blitzcrank got leaked. Yeah. You remember me talking about like, I bet they're going to put fucking Blitzcrank in
Starting point is 02:22:59 because he's the most normalist freak they could put in. Yeah. Yeah. So... He looks a lot better than his usual design. Yeah, so they updated the design. The funny part is that it was actually
Starting point is 02:23:10 just on the support page for two extra I've fucked it. Somebody fucked it. But it's almost like in a way where they're like not even taking it in like a big deal. They're like, yeah, there he is. It's like it's almost to get unveiled like in literally a week. So it, that's the thing. It could be a like he was going to come out with the release of the, the beta. But you go to the support page offer to XCO and there's an updated design for Blitzcrank right there.
Starting point is 02:23:38 And they pretty much went like, hey, y'all, is that? is that a thing? And they're like, yeah, lull. Yeah. So, hey, Blitzcrank confirmed. What's goofy about this is Rufelmonger already has a video up going, yeah, so I played Blitzcrank two years ago. Okay. Well, there you go. He's a big body grappler with tons of command grabs.
Starting point is 02:24:02 And did they turn all his clicks into S buttons, basically? So I don't know. I didn't have time to actually watch all of Rufelmonger's video. Okay. The thing that I need to know is because he's a hook character. Right. Okay, you described before. He's a roadhog. I throw my hand and I hook people like roadhog like stitches, et cetera.
Starting point is 02:24:24 Yep. So if he's going to be a big body command grab character, is he going to have a long range grab? Mm-hmm. Like I hope so. So big body get over here instead of big body. shield, you know, type thing. A proper big man grappler.
Starting point is 02:24:48 Grapler, like, hook get over here into command grab, or hook get over here and then, like, I would have to watch Rufel's video or wait for September 3rd. Does, does, is he a robot with like, like, guns or anything like that too as well? Just got his hands. Just big old swings. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Full screen command grab, what was someone saying there? That, I mean, that's his, his, his.
Starting point is 02:25:11 proper kit from league is that he's a rip off of stitches. He's essentially roadhog is probably the closest you would understand it. Okay, so the get over here would be unblockable. Yeah, potentially. In league, there's no blocking.
Starting point is 02:25:27 Right, right, right. It's a punch and a knockup. Okay. Okay, cool, cool, cool. So I said back on July 27th, I said, hey, listen, two XCOs roster sucks shit, but if I can play Timo and Blitzcrank as a team on launch, it's a good game and I take back everything I ever said.
Starting point is 02:25:47 Halfway there. So today I literally quote retweeted myself. It's like, okay, you're halfway there. Halfway there. The final character is going to be somebody cool but lame. I think it's going to be like a collie and I'm going to be like whatever. Someone that, well, yeah, I mean, which like, okay. Of all the different stand camps, you know, some are more on fire than others.
Starting point is 02:26:17 And some of them demand meat. And I feel like you want to offer the meat up to the ones who are in cannibal form, who are the most bloodied, you know? You got to put Timo in there then. Mm-hmm. Okay. You got to put Timo. All right.
Starting point is 02:26:30 So that's the first little confirm there. There you go. That's nice. Second confirm. How about that skong? September 4th. Nice. Well, more importantly.
Starting point is 02:26:44 Like, there's two things that are really interesting about this. One is every indie game getting sconged in air quotes as everybody is running the fuck away. This is the fourth's release date. Okay. Take a week and reassess the situation. You have exactly one to run away. Like there are about a dozen games that are just like. Like, no, we're moving two weeks. We're moving a month.
Starting point is 02:27:11 We're moving two months. We are getting the fuck away from Silk Song. More interestingly is that that same email we got last week about the monkey's paw, you know, of do you accept never playing it to get a behind the scenes on what happened? No need. We actually got both. Because here's, here's the article. Why Silk Song took so long to make. And so.
Starting point is 02:27:37 So I want to. over this article at like 7.30 in the morning, which was not a great mindset to do so. I think that these guys are totally fine. And I tried to make this distinction because it was a little grumpy because I had to wake up early. I think that article makes them look like out of touch assholes. I don't think they're out of touch assholes. But I think the specific like phrasing and then lack of emotive text in the article actually makes them look insanely, insanely out of touch. more so than they very much are. I feel like the way it sounded is exactly my response to that email we got, which is, I don't know if that's a good deal to make, because what if the answer is simply, we just wanted to, we just, there's nothing special, there's nothing crazy, there's no insane twists or turns to the story.
Starting point is 02:28:30 We just took our time making it slow and that's what we wanted to do, right? I think, which is exactly what happened. really fun bits in that article where they describe we definitely didn't mismanage anything. There was no like disaster. And then they go into like exhaustive detail how they like horribly mismanaged all of their deadlines. So but but but but but but but I guess the idea is like what do you perceive a deadline to be is the energy right? We're like well we never really set one therefore it's not like we're blowing past anything if we don't hold ourselves to that. right? So this is what I mean by like the context and the writing of the article kind of makes them look like jerks. Because from your context, you can understand that when they say there's no mismanagement, what they mean is there wasn't a computer that died with no backups. There wasn't somebody who wasn't doing something for six months. There wasn't like a year's worth of work they had to throw away because it was written on the wrong version of an engine. They actually just got like cataclysmically involved in feature creep. Yeah. And we're like, oh, let's work on it more. But that is their
Starting point is 02:29:35 preferred method of development, it turns out. And then you read things like, uh, what is Jira? Yeah. And if you will come from the world of QA, you bug out and go, you don't know what a bug database is. Yeah, I don't even know, because we're just freeballing it out here. And, you know, I mean, as someone, I, I ran a project with Trello for a bit there. And it was like, yeah, that was a thing where you basically replace sticking up sticky um stick up notes on the wall with a digital
Starting point is 02:30:08 version of that but jira or test track pro or any of these things database trackers are pretty much a quintessential service or thing you need running on a complicated game or you could just give it to one person and go like that one person will cue a whole thing it'll take a billion years but sure um the the the the the aura coming off of it is like almost to the degree of like an Australian language barrier because I understand what they mean by there was no mismanagement. However, when they described that every single idea they ever had for the game, they got distracted to implement and then they really genuinely planned
Starting point is 02:30:50 to have it released in 2022 and it just got away from them. That would be under my definition of mismanagement. And like how what do you mean? you really thought it was going to come out in 2022 and you just missed it by three years. So if you had a producer, if you had a deadline, if you had a goal, if you had something where they're like, you have to get to, you have to hit this milestone or whatever the case is and there's external pressures or even internal pressures, then there would be a point in which they would say you have missed that, thus this is falling behind. But they just kind of went vibes based the whole way through. The standout answers were just, hey, what took seven, why did Silksong take seven years to make? we've been having fun. This whole thing is just a vehicle for our creativity anyway.
Starting point is 02:31:36 It's nice to make fun things. There wasn't any developmental challenges or obstacles. They just needed the years to ensure that Silk Song was exactly what they wanted to make. It was never stuck or anything. Always progressing. It was just a case that we're a small team and the game takes a lot of time. No big controversial moment behind it. Also, terminal workaholics.
Starting point is 02:31:55 Oh, I'm sure. Their description of the way they interact with that game, like they are, they are like, addicted to working on their games. They love it. So I think it's pretty important as, you know, as people who have, I feel like, reported on the winds of skong over the last seven years every time they've shifted and blown. And the fever pitch on the outside of Team Cherry Studios as people have been waiting on it has just been like, there is nothing.
Starting point is 02:32:24 I kind of maintain this too. Anyone creating anything can create the thing they want to create in the way they want to, especially if they're doing it pretty much as a exercise for themselves that, you know, has an overall, like, it's scratching an itch, which is I like making a thing and if you happen to enjoy it, then that's cool too, right? You can approach things like that. The thing we've talked about here is the wrinkle where you're like, one, there's a Kickstarter with people's backing, but involved with it, right? Yeah. That kind of comes all the way back to that part of it. And then to, in general, people are going to have expectations about a thing.
Starting point is 02:33:01 And if something ends up taking longer close to two presidential administrations, they're going to have feelings about that. And I think that's going to be understandably, there's a threshold somewhere between four to seven years where the impatience becomes warranted. It becomes understood. I mean, we survived the global pandemic, got married and had kids. Sure. Yeah. So that's the thing is like, you know, you could, any. creative project is allowed to handle things the way they want to.
Starting point is 02:33:32 And the public is also allowed to feel the way they feel about things taking long. Yeah. So there's part of that that really stood out to me. And it's the only part that I'm like, I don't believe you. Like, I actually don't believe the response they gave, which is, well, why not update people more often? which is their response was oh they felt that it would just rile people up and make them
Starting point is 02:33:58 more disappointed that it was taking too long to come out and like I don't believe you you guys ran a lot of updates on the Holo Night Kickstarter when the Hollow Night was coming along I believe what is probably
Starting point is 02:34:17 this is coming from my ass this is a gut feeling I'm under the impression that they have a shit a billion dollars from Holonite selling 15 million copies. And they're like, well, we don't need to do that anymore because everyone's excited for Silk Song. There's always that. Yep.
Starting point is 02:34:32 They seem like the type of workaholics that actually running the social media seems like an annoyance. I just, you know, projects run differently. We talk about how Hades was an experimental, developmental style for Super Giant where they went. Let's start with a super team of one person and then add. to it slowly as other teams get less busy and ramp up in scale. And the goal was to get people on an early access bill that was playable early on. So that was one way where the years of
Starting point is 02:35:06 development did not feel like years of development because I guess people were hands on it right off the bat. Right. The, you know, I think Baldur's Gate had its early access as well with Act 1 for a long time. And then, you know, these, like early access approaches definitely help things feel a little bit more like, yes, it's going to take a while, but at least there's a hands-on with something there that would have been reasonable to address people that are especially looking at a Kickstarter backing expectation to be fulfilled. In this case, I think it would have been appropriate. And knowing that Hollow Night is so insanely massive, it probably would have done like no harm, but all good to have a early chunk of that just potentially hit early
Starting point is 02:35:51 access at some point while the rest of the game developed over time. It's super strange because they say they didn't want to spoil anybody by putting out screenshots, but like the fucking trailer they put out for the release date has like a photo of the game's map in it. Well, like area names on it and shit. Okay. I mean, okay, that's, I, I, I, I super don't believe you at all. Did it, did they Pokemon golden silver it? I don't know.
Starting point is 02:36:18 Probably. No, no, no, it had Silk Songs map. Like, you can see the area names. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. There's part of the, the only part of that that I know in my heart that I'm like, oh, oh, you guys, oh, I hate this. I hate this a lot. Is they're like, and we have some really ambitious things planned for Silk Song in the future that we're working on that might take a while to come out.
Starting point is 02:36:44 And I'm like, I remember hearing that back in the, the tens about Hollow Night, about how the, the, the, the, the, the, Hornet campaign was going to be something really special. And they're doing it again. They're literally obsessed with just working on it forever and not putting it out. They made it in the same way that like a random indie dev works on like a kind of illegal IP project like like A2MR, you know, like another Metroid 2 remake or some sort of fan game. like a game where you've just been hearing about one person developing it over the course of a decade Sonic Robo Blast to you know just one of those background things they basically that's their that's
Starting point is 02:37:31 the style of development they took was chipping away at it for a chunk of your life silk song to show up with a fucking owl cat logo on it that means that the game will come out but it will only be done in four years annoyed annoyed by this. caught a cat are the people who make uh the wrath of the righteous and pathfinder kingmaker uh right right right right rogue trader where they they keep announcing multiple years of season past dc's and patches and you're like can you please just tell me the game is over so i can start it mm-hmm mm-hmm yeah so no that's the that's the story is there is no story it's just no we were just making it and anti-story you know um so i don't belief that it's an anti-story.
Starting point is 02:38:22 I just think that maybe they are a little too big for their bridges. Apparently there is a Australia to non-Australia cultural divide happening in this interview. Okay.
Starting point is 02:38:38 I was informed by Paige and other people who are more familiar with Australians where no, no, that's just how Australians talk. Okay. They kind of sound like out of touch. Like, no, that's what just Australians who have good jobs sound like.
Starting point is 02:38:54 Aye, nigh. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, I'm, I, I, through this, through 2XCO, through, um, fucking bayonettas and, and every remake and everything that has been around as we've been doing this show, um, I say, most projects have about three years leeway before people start getting a little lancy and around year four they get ornery.
Starting point is 02:39:32 I think we did the same song and dance for Eldon Ring. And I remember being like, man, the way they've not shown us anything and blah, blah, blah. This game better really just blow my socks off. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. My songs are gone. There's that. What I would also say, too, another invisible metric, and this is trickier now than it was in the past, is did the generation change? Have we moved in a new entry, have we entered a new range of consoles, you know, that are... We've entered a second new range of consoles. Has development... Song was supposed to come out on the Wii U.
Starting point is 02:40:15 Yeah. Development had to restart. on a different dev kit is a nice what the fuck is going on metric that we used to have in the past. And again, it slowed down now and PC changes things and Unreal changes things as well. The ability to, you know, migrate is not as big of a thing as it used to be. But, but that was one. It was like we watched two human jump across four generations, you know, in development or whatever, right? So yeah, that's, that's the other bit. people get a little antsy about about three in three years in and and that and that that three years
Starting point is 02:40:50 counts from the moment your studio is acquired not from the moment your project is announced i think the all-time winner of dumbest idiots announcing your shit too early was cd project with two uh with um cyberpunk 277 because they were like they i read an interview where they're like so when we put out the trailer, like, we didn't even start working on the game for like another two years after. Oh, man. And I'm like, wow, you guys are absolute buffoons. Like, you started the clock multiple years early for no reason. They got the rights, I guess, at some point. And yeah, that's, and they, but, and their, their games always are built and take forever anyways, even once. Yeah, people are pointing out Elder Scroll 6. It has been longer from now to the Elder Scroll 6 announcement than it was between Skyrim and the Elder Scroll 6 announcement.
Starting point is 02:41:52 So what's going to happen? They're going to make that game in three, maybe four years. And Elder Scroll 6 is going to come out after an 11 year wait. And people are going to go, I waited fucking 11 years for this. And I don't care if that's not how development works. You told us X amount of years ago. The clock starts on announcement. The clock starts.
Starting point is 02:42:17 We know that Expedition 33 was in, was, uh, uh, Giam's fucking baby for almost a decade or whatever the case it's been. Do you know when it got announced? A year and a half ago. Last summer.
Starting point is 02:42:32 Two years ago? Last summer. Yeah. Last summer. Yeah. It's been, it's been 12 months. So here's the thing.
Starting point is 02:42:39 And the, the Kickstarter aspect of the Silk Song thing, really fucks them because Also no one paid attention because they didn't know what it was So it got announced and everyone went I don't know Okay If Silk Song was not a Kickstarter Backer reward
Starting point is 02:42:54 And they had not They would have totally still started working on Silk Song And what would have happened Is last week After years and years of Man, Hollandite was great I wonder if they're ever going to miss New Hollandite game next week
Starting point is 02:43:11 Yeah Yep, without being owed, without that bit. Yep, totally, totally. And it would have been the craziest fucking thing ever. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Or an alternate reality that DLC3 was smaller, and it just was added on top of the final update to the game as a, you know. I remember when they put out Playable.
Starting point is 02:43:31 Playable. Playable. I remember being like, wait, what? Why'd you do this instead of the other thing that you still have to make? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I could definitely have seen a point where they're like, no, here's playable Hornet and she just drops over the existing game. End of story, you know?
Starting point is 02:43:49 That's what everyone thought it was going to be at the beginning. And that would have been very reasonable because guess what? Playing a zero is fun too. You know? Yeah. Anyway, so there you go. That's that story. I do feel bad for them.
Starting point is 02:44:09 the tone of that article and the happy positivity in it. And they're just like, dude, we just love working on it. Every cool idea we did, we just had to flesh it out. I'm like, man, they are building that castle high. Well, like, I mean, I, I, I, I, the, what I got from what I, what I read, which I admittedly was not top the bottom on the whole thing. But I feel like the impression of some of the, the, the takeaways here has been. to the screaming like skong derangement syndrome like person there's an energy of just like yeah there's an energy of kind of being like yeah i don't know we're just having fun man whatever
Starting point is 02:44:50 you know like like screaming to the abyss that's okay we're just doing our thing um and there's a definitely acceptable amount of that that you can of that energy that you can have because yeah like you make whatever you want to make how you want to make it, but just I also think it's important to have an understanding of how things will be received over time. I mean, you could have put out a single screenshot a year. You could have done that. There's no reason you couldn't have done that.
Starting point is 02:45:23 Or you could have an entire fucking Nintendo direct dedicated to the thing that we barely knew existed like Kirby Airwriters. Oh, I didn't even watch that shit. Hey, guess what? Don't bother. It's awesome. everything rules. They took Kirby Air Ride
Starting point is 02:45:41 and they made more and they gave you more things to do and of all the crazy new features and awesome things you're going to have in it and it's a pure Sakurai game like overtuned because Sakurai can't stop. Here's what you need to know.
Starting point is 02:45:55 One, there's a star with a cape on it that star man and he's cute and he's great and he's awesome. And second, there is the most disappointed you will ever see Sakurai is when he had to announce that this game unfortunately has had to add a second button. He was very much dismayed that they had to add now a turbo boost button or a special button in addition to the one button designed from before.
Starting point is 02:46:27 He hated it. I didn't know it was one button. It was Kirby Air Ride was one button, right? It was a was break but also charge. And it was also like drop your right, your machine to the ground. So the friction would apply instead of floating, floating. You know, you'd corner, you'd break, and you'd charge up all with the same button. And now it's like, sorry, we got to add a second button so that you can use your specials.
Starting point is 02:46:52 And he was like, fucked his bullshit. And he flipped the table and cleared everything off. Just use more buttons. I don't care. He was so mad about two buttons. Just use a different button. Incredible. It was cool.
Starting point is 02:47:04 That's it. something else I mean look I grabbed what I could in the midst of all this and I saw a couple stories here if anything crucial slipped by then
Starting point is 02:47:19 I don't know I've got one it's not crucial but I do want to mention it oh yeah the Battlefield 6 devs put a debriefing out for hey here's the takeaway from the beta and some people particularly call of duty
Starting point is 02:47:34 streamers and players figured out how to do some bunny hopping slide canceling shit in Battlefield and we're like check out this movement tech and as a result the Battlefield 6 devs are like yeah we put tons of shit into the game that you can't fucking do that anymore and if you jump your momentum will just crash to almost fucking nothing
Starting point is 02:47:59 and you can't slide cancel anymore and stop bunny hopping fucking stop This is DMC 5 inertia being killed. No, no, it's not. No? So, oh, so you're, you're not like, you haven't been playing a ton of multiplayer shooters, and that's never been like your jam.
Starting point is 02:48:18 I know you've dabbled an apex. I dabbled in apex, but I played Titanfall, in Tidal Fall 2 enough, and I remember Skull God kind of broke down how, you know, skiing in tribes and all that movement tech used to work and how fast and insane those things would go if you learned how to bust the system open. You're completely right. And you had Quake, Unreal Tournament, Tribes, Titanfall, etc. And the thing about Battlefield and Counter Strike and shit like that is,
Starting point is 02:48:48 fucking stop it. I don't want to do that shit. I'm not playing Battlefield so I can bunny hop around a fucking corner like an asshole. I fucking hate it. Okay. And a lot of the people who play Battlefield, fucking hate it. Okay. So you're like,
Starting point is 02:49:06 yo, I learned how to do triangle drums, want to see a fucking infinite and I'm like, bro, we're playing Samurai Showdown. Exactly. Kid you fucking chill. Okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha.
Starting point is 02:49:19 Like, it, like Battlefield is about using vehicles and your squad and checking corners and getting good positions and flanking and seeing people like bunny hopping through fucking windows and off of roofs is just like this shit
Starting point is 02:49:35 fucking sucks and it makes me not want to play it. Oh man. Okay. And like the last couple of games have had like more expansive like zippy movement and they have been panned by their general audience because of it. Like I cannot, like I don't think they went far enough.
Starting point is 02:49:54 In bad company too, the best battlefield game they ever put out, you weren't even allowed to fucking lie down on the ground. There was standing and there was crouch and that was it. shouldn't even let people go fucking prone Is it one of those things where If you're doing it you're on a tier of player That is just never going to be stopped by people who are not doing it
Starting point is 02:50:18 Like two games are taking place within the same game So for Battlefield the way that it works Is that if you are doing your cool ass fancy zippy shit movement What you're doing is not capturing the point So you're ending the match with like 50 kills to two deaths and zero points and your team loses. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
Starting point is 02:50:45 Because I'm reminded of, again, Guns the Dual, name drop, where people who are doing all the tech were playing a different video game against each other compared to the people in the same room not doing the tech. And that was just it. You're right? And like you could be, you would be like a grunt in Titanfall 2 there for the picking, but they were pretty much only, the gods were interested in fighting up here in the sky and the plebs below would shoot their guns and do their matrix wall runs. But if your goal is to get to the fucking point and capture it or whatever, you're being fancy and it's at detriment of the team. Like there are like, and it's one of those things like, oh, why are you lowering the skill ceiling? It's like, no, it's not about. lowering the skill ceiling. It's about like this is what we want the game to be about. If you want to play Apex Legends, go play Apex Legends.
Starting point is 02:51:41 Okay, okay, okay. Right? So like when I think about battlefield, and I think about, oh, what's a cool battlefield moment? I think about the guy in the helicopter or the plane who jumps out to shoot a different helicopter with a rocket and then get back in the helicopter as it is falling and fly away. I think about one of my games in the beta where I caught me and a guy ended up like
Starting point is 02:52:07 catching each other like, you know, dead on, like we both turned a corner simultaneously. And he hit me a couple of times. So I threw a smoke grenade down. And then he laid down, put his bipod on and just shot into the smoke for like 10 seconds as I went for a super long flank to his side and then shot him easily. because he wasn't moving and he was lying down and then helped me get the point. It's not about zip zooppin
Starting point is 02:52:33 fucking button pop bouncing off the fucking walls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about putting five packs of C4 on a Jeep and suicide bomb at the point. Look at my 360 no scope. We're playing Splatoon. Shoot the ground, idiot.
Starting point is 02:52:50 Yeah, yeah. Okay. Gotcha. Like battlefield, when you're sniping, the bullets have like very extreme drop because you're going at extreme distances. So like the spinning no scope shit is fucking stupid. It's like, no, just get your nice spot, be hidden.
Starting point is 02:53:07 And when a guy stops moving for half a second, tilt the fucking scope way up to compensate for bullet drop. Okay. So anyway, it's really good news that they're like, no, stop it. Cool. Take wave dashing out. That's like in spirit, it hurt. me to hear that is the correct way to take this game a little bit, but I understand. I understand. What, like, what if, what a fucking, um, what if Samurai Showdown had like infinites in the corner?
Starting point is 02:53:42 Sure, sure. Or some, that be more fun? Yeah, no, no. Like, I, there should not be a wave dash in Sam's show. Like, same thing. A hundred percent. Like, yeah, like, actually, you, you comparing it to Sam's show is actually a really good example. Okay, so, this was kind of just a loose one, but it is, it is interesting. I'm curious to see how they play it. Marvel Rivals, so NetE's had an interview, and they confirmed that they have been given the green light to create original characters. And they're saying, oh, stay tuned, who knows, right? Yeah, who cares? Who gives a single shit?
Starting point is 02:54:25 Well, I'm like the idea of like even after all this time, do you go for it and risk the ire of you're wasting a fucking slot? How dare you? Oh, dude. I totally agree with that sentiment in advance. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I've been thinking about this, right? And we're talking with, remember we talked about it with 2XCO and stuff as well, right?
Starting point is 02:54:49 I think there's a way to do this. And it's very, very, very delicate. But the people who understand it best are arc system works. You can, in a highly anticipated IP, create your own original character, but only as part of the base roster. You cannot make it DLC. I'm going to be super blunt. You mentioning 2XCO in this conversation like fucking triggered my shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:55:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. If I see a fucking brand new character on the 2XCO roster, yeah. I'm going to fucking lose my mind. So, uh, uh, Labriss, uh, show Minizuki, Android 21, right? You have to have the original character that joins that roster be there on the base game. You cannot sell it later.
Starting point is 02:55:45 That's a slot. You're fucking crazy if you do. That's the only way to go about it. I think you using the persona cast is really telling. And the reason it works there is because those games got every character in them that you would have expected. That you wanted to be there right off. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:56:03 You didn't have this feeling of like, oh, fuck. Well, I could have played as Yoseke if Labyrinth wasn't here. But admittedly, between Arena and Ultimax, a bunch more characters everybody wanted showed up, right? Not everybody was there in Arena. You know? Yeah, you know what? Two X. K.O can have original characters.
Starting point is 02:56:20 once they get through the 170 plus regular champions. Sure. But in P4A's case, you know, you had a, you could, it's what, one could have argued, where is my, you know, whatever, any of the, the, where's my Rangico? What the fuck that thing was for multiverses? Where's my, you know, Ken, I want, instead of, instead of Labris and shadow Labris, right? So, yeah, you don't, people, I don't think anybody's going to think about, an original character being on the base roster,
Starting point is 02:56:53 especially, especially if they're the final boss, right? If the final boss is a brand new original character, you get away with it on the base game. But don't you fucking dare drop it as a DLC character later for development purposes. For Marvel rivals, this is like the absolute stupidest fucking idea conceivable. There are literally thousands of Marvel characters they could pick to fulfill any role ever. It's too late. It's too late.
Starting point is 02:57:19 It should have been there. Right. To make it as a drop in a season that takes away anticipation from another wanted character. Isn't Luna Snow the original character? But wasn't she, am I crazy? Wasn't she from a different thing? Let's find out. I thought she was from a different thing that was like a single mobile game or something like that. Where did she show up? She is from the comics?
Starting point is 02:57:45 No, okay, there you go. She has massive OC energy. Yeah, she's a big obscure pull. but she's more recently, yeah, she's a more recent character. And obscure from the comics. And I feel like there was a mobile game or something that gave her a big push that, like, put her in the spotlight a little bit. But anyway, yeah, there was no, there was no full-on original character dropped there. Anyway, the other bit was just following up on all that, you know, the great decisions happening over at Microsoft and the king firings as well.
Starting point is 02:58:34 So, you know, as AI has been coming in and becoming more of a like, you're going to be shadowed by it, you got to use it more, et cetera, setting all their goals. They just kind of updated that to say that it's basically everyone, like employees are now mandated to use AI on a daily basis. And nothing says incredible technology like fuck you, use it, bitch. Yeah. And in light of this story, other like CEOs and companies that things have been popping up where they're just as companies where they're like, you're going to start using it every day or you're fired. And that's that. And people who didn't are getting, you know. And also last week, the MIT released a comprehensive meta-analysis study that says, by the way, AI is losing everyone tons of money.
Starting point is 02:59:20 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. No, no, no. The fact that, like, the grift is coming through is good. That's pretty incredible timing right there. But in the meantime, we're going to, like, sacrifice every human that hasn't ran away yet to their replacement and enforce it more brutally than the day before. Because it's going to be us that shows everybody else how to make money using this thing that doesn't make any money. And when people do think about the most useful AI day-to-day models, they think of co-pilot. They don't.
Starting point is 02:59:59 No. What? Oh, no. I mean, the thing you disable as soon as your computer turns on. The thing that you can't run away from fast enough, unless you're defeated into using it through sheer just like by your spirit being crushed, which to be fair is how Microsoft has been using, has been abusing their audience, you know, is basically like we have tech, you don't want to use it, but we're going to hope that you just give up and you stop resisting. And using our tech is like accepting cookies. Sure, you can go, say, reject all except the essentials. but people eventually get tired of bothering to click three times.
Starting point is 03:00:41 I actually got confused and thought you were talking about like cookies, cookies, and I was like I could go for some cookies. No, no, no, no. I mean, like website cookies. Because, I mean, I know it's three or four extra clicks, but I go reject all cookies except essential every time. But the thought process is you're going to get annoyed of doing this eventually. Not really.
Starting point is 03:00:59 Not really. Okay, what else sucks? Oh, well, here. hugging your baby. It does, right? So, how about this? Just speaking of AI, because
Starting point is 03:01:17 there was a artist contest for Search Fighter 6th submission submissions that went through the other day and Kimberly, the winning choice was people spotted. It was AI generated and there was a bunch of telltale clues. They apologized
Starting point is 03:01:34 and they released a new Challenger art that's basically just leaning on full goon button. So they're like, our bad here, have a goon. And have a goon on us. Have a goon on us.
Starting point is 03:01:49 Problem solved. There you go. Done and done. There you go. And apparently the original submission, the original account that submitted the AI one has deleted their account.
Starting point is 03:02:02 So, you know, that's how that goes. All right. We got any emails this week? because I got to be honest, I'm falling asleep. All right. Yeah. I'm sure you're eager to get back as well. I am.
Starting point is 03:02:14 The last thing I just wanted to briefly touch on is just the sale of Evo. Sony's co-ownership in it, they've now sold, or their share of Evo to an esports company, Nodwin, which is an Indian e-sports company. But they also, they own Nodwin. It's one of, it's a, it's a thing. Nodwin is a company under Sony. So it's almost like a changing of hands thing. So that's not much of a shakeup or a change or so.
Starting point is 03:02:45 But RTS, which is the Pokeyman company, continues to hold their share of it. But they're getting a larger investment from Kedia. So just take that Saudi slice of the pie and increase it overall. Cool. Awesome. Love that. Hey, guess what? It's happening at every single company.
Starting point is 03:03:07 that is making the games that you play. Cool. So just, just want, just so you know. Silk Song. Not, not Team Cherry, no. But just about everywhere else. Um, yeah, let's see over here. What is, um, yeah, you know what's actually nuts about that too?
Starting point is 03:03:33 What's that? Um, the, where was it? in terms of that like creeping up investment with like everything else that the that Saudi's been in buying up and stuff like the percentages that they've been pushing on to like nexon EA coi Nintendo all that shit I kind of was looking at this I saw like there's a tracker of all of that and um the part where they own like uh what was the percentage of SNK 96 because they bought it from that Korean company um was on the was like that 99. 26% equals
Starting point is 03:04:09 600 million dollars which is the lowest of their actual number investments in all of those companies so for example like Capcom they put way more than that Nintendo they put billions in and it's just owning a smaller percentage
Starting point is 03:04:25 it's a weird thing where basically I mean considering it's Evo and it's not Nintendo that makes perfect sense yeah so they put billions into take to Evo sorry take to Activision Nintendo Nexon Capcom, et cetera, NCSoft and so on, but it's one of those things
Starting point is 03:04:41 where because SNK is a tiny ass fucking rinky-dink fighting game company, you throw a couple coins at it and you get 96% for that versus 10 or so. SNK's no fucking Nintendo. Sorry, you cut out. SNK isn't even SNK.
Starting point is 03:05:02 Sorry, I didn't hear what you said. Oh, I said, of course not. S&K isn't fucking Nintendo. No, no, absolutely not. S&K isn't even SNK. It's SNK play more after rebirthed from death. Exactly. Like, Yeah.
Starting point is 03:05:16 So you can invest a billion in, in Capcom and get like a 6% share or whatever, but you can invest half of that and grab the whole thing. Let's see what we got over here. If you have an email, you can send it. Send it to Castle Super Beastmail at gmail.com. That's Castle Superbeastmail at gmail.com. Uh, right. We got one over here.
Starting point is 03:05:39 No name given. Dear Castle Superbeasts, question, how much aim assist is too much? Listening to Pat reflect on his time with Battlefield's 6 beta reminded me of my relationship with Halo, a multiplayer shooter I used to really be into, and recent releases haven't just hit for me. Something that bothered me was Infinite having a lack of bullet magnetism. Swapping between MCC and Infinite, you could feel the loss of aim assist strength, which
Starting point is 03:06:07 made the game feel less Halo, made me worse at it, and I won't do it. deny it distracted from my enjoyment, detracted, excuse me. I was surprised to see how in depth, how despised aim assist was in spaces where keyboard and mouse players could fight pad players, though. Its conflict was bound to occur since Halo Games started on both platforms, started to launch on both platforms, excuse me. So you're both pad players. How do you like aiming on a controller? Should players be segregated into input, it should be segregated by input and competitive of settings. They should turn it up until the numbers even out.
Starting point is 03:06:45 Against from pad to mouse and keyboard players. So my only metric, my only comparison point for this is Titanfall 2. And while there's an aggressive auto aim on that, it feels like mouse and keyboard players still rule the day. And as a pad player, I still feel like I can do well and learn to like, you know, like, get better at overcompensating for that that lack of turning ability and awareness and such. So it feels okay to me, but I don't know, right? I can't say for other games where you can't grapple off the wall, do backflips and jump into a robot.
Starting point is 03:07:25 I have a deeply unhelpful answer. Battlefield 6 has the perfect amount of auto aim because when I played on PC against people with mouse and keyboard with a controller, I did pretty well. and that means it's got good auto aim. Did you have fun and it felt good to win? Okay, so then it's good. If I'm playing the game and I don't do well because the auto aim isn't strong enough, then it's bad. It's not enough.
Starting point is 03:07:48 That's it. And if I'm playing the game and I feel like the controller is being removed from my hands, so Destiny has an auto aim that's too strong because enemies that walk past you will actually drag your camera. It's way too strong. But if I'm playing the game and I'm doing well against mouse and keyboard players with a pad, that means the odd they nailed the auto aim and that means it's good because I'm having a good time.
Starting point is 03:08:11 But it's destiny's PVE, so it doesn't matter that much, right? Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. No, that's kind of it. And I think more so to the point, like if you do like what Titanfall did by having all these profiles of like, you know, how much the camera moves as you move the stick from the middle all the way to out to the edge and allow for this a ton of fine tuning, then I don't imagine it's an issue. It doesn't seem like it.
Starting point is 03:08:37 And of course, you can always balance auto aim, like, aggressiveness with patches over time as you see the results and whether or not you think things are balanced in properly, you know? There is always a problem with the fact that if you're on a controller and you are not bumper jumping, you're going to have to release one of your sticks to press a button or to do a thing. And that's an inherent disadvantage you can't get over, well, unless you bumper jump and design for that. Yeah. Yeah. No, if I win the match, they did a really good job. All right. Fair enough. I think I think that's how I feel about it. Everyone, I want to thank you for listening to the podcast. Take care. I thank you for your continued patronage. None of you matter. Isn't it crazy? It's so insane. Every other human being on the planet has just radically altered.
Starting point is 03:09:30 Like, I'm thankful that you're here and you're hearing the words come out of my mouth. I can. cannot emphasize how little you matter. See you next week. I think it was like, man, I would drown all of you in a river for like a couple cookies to give my baby. I would do it. Just fucking die.

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