Castle Super Beast - CSB335: Punchgirl Forever

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Woolz In The Lab Plushie ONLY AVAILABLE THIS MONTH https://www.makeship.com/products/woolz-in-the-lab Older Twitch VODs are now being uploaded to the new channel: https://www.youtube.com/@CastleSuperBeastArchive Woolie Is Now a Dad Beware The Crunchy Mom Pipeline The Story of Silksong's Development Is There Is No Story Please Stop Wavedashing Sir, This is Battlefield Your Created OC Slot in a Beloved IP MUST be Base Roster Watch live: twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://shopify.com/superbeast to sign up for your $1-per-month trial period. - Go to http://factormeals.com/castle50off and use code castle50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year - Click this link https://boot.dev/?promo=CASTLESUPERBEAST and use my code  CASTLESUPERBEAST  to get 25% off your first payment for boot.dev. Silksong will be out on Sept. 4. Why ‘Silksong’ Took Seven Years to Make “We’ve been having fun,” Gibson said. “This whole thing is just a vehicle for our creativity anyway. It’s nice to make fun things.” 2XKO's Grappler Character Has Been Leaked...By Riot Games NetEase Given Green Light by Marvel to Create Original Characters for Marvel Rivals, Devs Say “Stay Tuned”Arksys philosophy, Labrys, Sho Minazuki, A21,  Kirby Air Riders Direct – 19/08/2025 “AI was introduced by Microsoft as mandatory a while ago. The goal for last year, if I recall correctly, was having a 70 or 80% daily usage of AI on general tasks. The goal for this year was that every artist, designer, developer, even managers have to use it on a daily basis." Sony sells its co-ownership stake in EVO, will return as sponsor - Esports company NODWIN Gaming is buying the stake to take on co-ownership of EVO, with fellow owner RTS getting investment from Qiddiya. Capcom made a new Kimberly New Challenger art to make up for the results of the art contest Because the last one was AI generated  

Thank you. I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be. Oh! Hey, dude. Hey, dude, what's up. what's going on with you this week

hi man hello hello how you doing uh yo what the fuck is sleep bro what the fuck you know what dude hey let me tell you that first three months

just get through that first three months just just don't drop them don't get divorced and you're solid yep yep yeah no i think about i what i have moments where i'm kind of just thinking like of people i'm like if you're not in the most rock solid like situation what in it in terms of oh okay yeah all right let's do it let's go into it yeah How? Yeah, absolutely. How does anyone on a crumbling foundation? Oh, man.

Hey, you know what? Hey, you know what? We're having a kind of rocky thing. We're fighting more. You know what we should do? Let's do something that will cause us to be at the highest level of stress we've ever been at our entire lives. I can't. Together.

Together. I can't even begin to fathom. um oh yeah oh boy so yeah i had to kick this uh stream back uh a little bit there because uh you know feeding yeah cluster feeding yeah dude you sore i mean we're doing we're doing we're doing all of it we're getting all we're doing there's all kinds of milk getting in there the um um um yeah man Listen, I'm literally sleep deprived and my functions are not going to function. Hey, do you want to hear something awesome, dude? Yes.

I'm also sleep deprived from the version of events that you'll experience in two years, which is my little guy just at 5.30 in the morning just went, for no reason. Yeah. Mm-hmm. mm-hmm and like it's just funny too because like um you know trying to organize any like literally anything anything at all is just complete doesn't exist like it took like three like it it took so long to get to a task oh yeah because it's just every two hours three up go screen like yeah um

Hey, so before, before we engage in the back and forth, dad, oh my God, it's shit so hard, parenting is tough and sound like massive pussies. Congratulations and also big shoutouts to your wonderful wife for doing a great job. Going through all of that with Paige, my wife, was really a very big. very eye-opening experience of like, wow, it is hard over here, but like, oh, this is right where I left it. Punch mom. Punch mom is what you call an original gangster. This is like bulletproof, incredible.

The level of absolute untouchable resilience was. ridiculous through the whole thing and um i mean the process itself uh uh you know was like there was a lot of luck that things went uh smoothly in some case in some ways and or some ways where things weren't what didn't go as smoothly but like um yeah watching that and participating in the like support role to the best of our ability you're watching some shit go down that's like beyond Herculean.

It was insane. Holy shit. Yeah, I don't even know. I'm like where I don't even I'm all over the place on thoughts but thank you very much. I much appreciated took home

a punch girl and and she is doing her job which is pissing and shitting with a d and farting and eaten and crying and just doing it all at the same time how's your swaddling uh we are swaddling effectively we're swaddling well and uh let me tell you something right uh we there was a moment where uh some throw up got into

some little spit up got into like the snoo and so we took it we took it off to go wash those the the top and um switched over to just a the regular bassinet and watched as the rolling into danger zone started to occur because you're not supposed to let them pass out on the sides or on their front and then everything else about that and we're like oh my god the snoo is saving our lives like it's not even funny how much this thing with the swaddle that titans and does this and has the noise going is like controlling the situation so like here's the thing man i'm thinking back to swaddling and man swaddling is like genuinely one of my favorite parts of little tiny baby time because making a a tightly packed safe and unable to

throw themselves to the floor baby burrito is deeply satisfying yes it's nice to see when they cannot destroy themselves uh i appreciate that don't want You know, oh, you're pulling your own hair or you're gouging your own eyes because you don't know what arms are. And yes, exactly. I'm waking yourself up by punching yourself because that's what your body spasms. The body spasms just keep you up. Yeah. And then just bam, bam, bam, no, bam.

Oh, no, they're back awake. Oh, we miss the nap window. Here we go. And just, and startling yourself awake in the middle of the night to see like, did I hear a noise or did I see it? Like, what's happening over there? You're just, you're, every little, every little sound is, is caused for a nine alarm fire. And I'm kind of looking over at the, at the, the, the fucking looking over at the crib, expecting to see a smash brother's light shoot out of it. You know, failure.

Like, it's, um, listen, I have no big, like, um, worded speech or anything to give you. because I'm still going through it. It's still happening. I have no thoughts processed. I have no... Every process thought is ongoing as we speak. You will have... So, I don't know.

...thus thoughts in six months. Yeah, I have nothing, like, profound or useful to say to anyone, except... The only thing you need to think about when you're not on this camera is fed... diaper sleepy yeah no no yes that's it those four and and you know even taking the time to be on this camera is like this this is you know how the lights are going to stay on but it would be nice if we didn't have to that'd be cool but yeah woolly you know things would be nice but at least you're not working in a fucking coal mine of course of course or in a situation where you're like

I've got to tell you man Like you know here's the thing Working from we're very blessed Yes because dad comes home After being a million years Light years away right We're very blessed Yeah but like on top of that

Like you're gonna really feel That blessing Like very intensely Over the next couple of months Because you Much like me and unlike most other dads Will get a text message And go I gotta go

And that's an option available to you instead of just like, well, deal with it. I guess they'll fucking figure it out. I'm expecting potentially, you know, one or two of those at any moment because, yeah, there's a schedule to adhere to. But for the most part, you know, I don't think Punch Girl gives a fuck about the schedule. But, you know, Baby has not read the manual. You know, we did. we read what to expect but baby has not read

what to expect so baby gives no fucks trimester man yes exactly that's just a big fetus on the outside mm-hmm um horrible big fetus but still I mean tiny and and perfect and just

just sitting there making those noises it's the you got you got those goo-go-gagas it's the it's the it's the cartoony sound of like like doing during the like okay like day one day two skin to skin especially was like super duper chill because the level of just like sleep recovery after being birth required to get all your energy back means that you're going to just pass the fuck out and so she passed the fuck out

and you're hearing actual cartoon like oh absolutely you're just like are you real this is this a real living thing let me ask you man when you went home did you have that feeling walking out where you're like okay so who's gonna who's gonna come home with me to help me do this did you have that feeling in your chest oh they just let me leave they just let us leave i mean like not exactly that but it's more just like yo holy shit here we go um it's going down and I don't know how well like okay there are going to be I'm going to send you things that are not for them but I'm going to send it to you for for yeah so here is as soon as we walked in the door yeah here is basically door closes behind us and punch mom turns

around. And this is what we get. Ha, yeah, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I remember that vividly. Absolutely. 100%. Yeah.

How would you describe that, that face? Uh, I don't know. Oh, no. I would, ugly crying. A just, just a 180 into. Well, we did. Oh, we read the books. Oh, we read the book.

Oh. Oh. Oh, man. Yeah. No. That was a lot of fun. And it is interesting, too, because I guess, yeah, some of the, some of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it's a really cute photo. It's, it's, it's, it's fantastic.

I'm going to keep that around for teasing and blackmail purposes indefinitely. Um, until, um, until. Punch Girl can use it as blackmail as well against mom. No, no, no, no, no, no, all, no, all roasting goes downhill. Oh, oh, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no cross-tag team-ups here. They have to work on their own stuff. This is yours to use. No, I don't think it's going to go that way.

This is a different situation here, right? Because, like, they've got the, like, girl connection to beat up on dad, but then dad and daughter have, like, the dark connection. We got the black thing going where we could throw that her way. Oh, you're going to be making fun of Punch Mom being like you're haunting this house with your whiteness? You know, you know. And I mean, look, we'll see how we'll see how the tone goes over time. But there's at least a, there's at least a 50% middle ground over there that we could use as ammunition against her. You know, and then there's going to be, yeah, we'll draw the lines for war wherever. We'll take

them. So it was my experience growing up, and I don't know if this was your experience, that my parents were never able to reliably count on me for any backup in any situation because it was a coin flip as to which one I would actually side with on any given situation. Right. Like, they would be like, oh, my mom would be, oh, Patrick will absolutely have my back. Your father's being so ridiculous. I'd be like, Mom, what the hell are you talking about? That's totally right. or vice versa. And like, Dad, you sound insane. You sound nuts, Dad.

What are you talking about? And they could never figure it out to the point where they stopped, like, going to me as, like, the third person to tiebreak shit. He couldn't rely. Couldn't know which way it would go. We're going to have to see, you know, which way the winds,

which way the winds blow on this. But I want to sweeten the pot in my favor however possible. so um yeah now the one thing i do here uh that when i was just reading because i mean i've been obviously you know you know you know that thing where you're holding like life and then you're like instantly googling like 15 things just going down i got you're going to get really really proficient with doing every single task in your life with one arm like just like you're going to feel really cool in about a month, because you won't believe how many dishes you can do with one hand. So, no, that's the, one of the things I saw was there's people discussing the dad that goes and comes back after the time away or whatever.

And when you fast forward a few years in when kid gets older, parent that's out of the house that comes back becomes like the superhero that's here to visit temporarily. because time is limited, you know. Yeah, we don't have that situation. Neither are you. No, no. So the benefits now and then later there's that perception. But then also that makes, you know, a parent at home be like, yo, what the fuck?

I'm here the whole time. What do you mean? You know, the one that comes home and pops in gets all the accolades. So. You know what you're going to get to see? And it's something that now we're all part of the club. I got like, I have been able to. see the daily genesis of something that I am 100% certain caused like literally tens of thousands

of divorces and fights, which is walking back from the office, right? Being able to look into the window of my living room, seeing how the child is acting, walk through the door, child turns into a different child. Right, for dad. turns into a completely different child. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, oh, it's like, or like, you know, mom has to go out.

It's, it's dad time, right? Oh, what are you talking about? It's the easiest pie. They've just played with their toys the whole time. No fuss, no must. They ate whatever I gave them. Not a problem. So look, after, after, like, the thing is with that, too,

after obviously it's just a, this horrendous fucking sleep death cycle that we're in. Hey, I have good news for you, by the way, about that. The sleep thing is going to get better. You're not going to get more sleep. You're just going to get used to it. Mm-hmm. That, like, that... So here's the thing.

My sleep schedule was already shit. Oh, it was bad. Yeah, it was really bad. You have the worst of any person I've known other than my dad's. Yeah. And thus I was kind of already ready for... you know, a version of this. But it's just that the, any time you delay it until you're like, okay, I have to go like be a coma.

That stage never comes. The part where you're like, at the end of this insanely bad stretch of sleep time, you're going to, of staying awake, you're going to eventually just pass the fuck out and then get your recharge. But that recharge never comes. That's the problem here is you just, it just, you kick the can down the road indefinitely. but um so this morning i was woken up because i had to speak to uh you know one of my like financial people uh you know account and things and like we did a video call because like for her uh she also like had a newborn but for her it was her fourth damn so she knows what the fuck she's doing and like she's like look i'm really things are really nuts over here but just can we

just video call and so we jumped on the video call and you just hear hell happen The, like, actually, like, Satan and his forces are, are, have dominion behind her. And, like, you, I mean, you can hear, like, two boys just fucking, they're, like, they're fighting to the death. And then there is a young girl who is just literally just appears to be running in circles and screaming at the top of her lungs, but not, like, play screaming, but, like, and it went like for an hour right how old's that kid that you saw um she must have been like seven you know so all right because there's there's the the phase that we went through which is i've discovered that screaming kicks ass phase no it's a good one no no no it's a really super fun one this was not child child was haunted child was like this was not a this was not a this was

not a, this is not a whimsical, we're having fun scream. This was a fucking, just letting it loose and, and rage tantrum. And, like, she was describing how, so there was after school ended, they had summer school, but for some reason, hers got canceled or something, or not summer school, summer camp. So then she came home early, and ever since then has just been in a fit and has just been going, and screaming and freaking out. And so, like, as much as I'm going through, I'm, like, looking at this lady with four, and she's doing it on a month. What the fuck can you even say, right?

And I'm just going, okay. Listen, all right. Having a kid is hard and having two kids is more than twice as hard. God. And so on. And so forth. Yeah. The interacting they have with each other, you know.

um um you get one down and the sound of another waking them up anyway anyway it was it was wild but um all that to say you know that uh yeah i mean i feel what what do i feel i feel many things here's here's how i really are you having a lot of emotions you want to you want to talk about emotions fat let me there's never been a more appropriate time for me and you to have a genuine sit down and talk about our feelings. You can ask, you can ask

Punch Mom, like, and she'll tell you like, how many times over the course of our relationship that she's seen me cry over something that I've cried, right? I've known you for 20 years. I've seen it once. Okay. So

for her, the answer is about three. Right? And she gave, she gave two, and I reminded her of one, two, that she missed, that she missed, right? And within the last 48 hours. Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. Like, we're just hitting all-time PR. Oh, my God. All-time personal records. I really remember holding my little guy, and he had fallen asleep, and Paige was taking a nap, because, like, okay, we locked it down all the time. And I'm just looking at him. And I'm like for no reason for like nothing

straight up what is this salty discharge ass like what is happening right now or you know and just and like when it's like when you're yeah when you're just when you don't know how the winds are turning and you're trying to just like like how do I make sure that everything I'm doing is perfect to make sure that you are perfect and that you have like all of that and and and you know um not wanting to fall short of

everything that needs doing in that regard is just the only way I was able to to make it through that soul annihilating is you go through the four things checklist hungry sleepy dirty uh hungry sleepy dirty tired gas don't forget about farts dirty uh uh farts whatever uh you go through the checklist and then you go did i did i do all the checklists yes

okay then then sometimes babies just get fucking pissed yes yes and the reasons behind crying too that that change over time are pretty incredible because it's not just like it's those things the obvious like can you solve the problems right

and sometimes it's like hey can you just be here can you just like be around and just kind of comfort me, right? And then a couple versions of like, I don't want to, you know, lie down right now. I want to be touched. I want to be coddled. I want to do something, whatever.

Sometimes it's just boredom. Now get off me. Get off me! Right? Sometimes it's boredom. Sometimes it's temperature. Yes, exactly. Right?

And then, yeah, sometimes it's get the fuck off me, 100%. I don't like this anymore. Get the fuck off. Um, and, uh, Put me on my stomach, you motherfucker. Oh! And then, and then the one that I, that was incredible that I learned was, um, sometimes it's

the situation, sound, environment, visual, whatever is happening is distressing or just not what I want right now. Me crying is going to change reality to just be me crying instead of me being, you being here, like, if I'm like, oh, this room's too dark, or I don't see mommy, or I don't like what I'm hearing. And, um, the crying will cause mommy and daddy to have a brand new form of internalized anxiety response, which will put them into a scramble to change everything in the room at random to see if that's the thing. So, uh, this is where, like, again, gangster punch mom is like, here's it, and it's like, okay, what's wrong?

Let's go and is able to immediately go into the caretaker mode and just diagnose, right? And I am like, usually someone who's trying to diagnose and go about things on a dawned-out bullet point list. And that sound, that sound completely, like, it shatters all ability to think, like, funk to, function rationally to like it's it destroys me and in a way where i'm like freaking out like it's almost a panic attack inducing sound and like punch mom is like totally cool and under control and i'm like how are you not like losing everything right now like how are you not freaking out like doesn't that sound reach down inside and destroy everything within you and she's like no she just needs and i'm like i don't i it's do you're hearing a different sound from me

It's crazy No it's the same No everybody's different Like for for page and I It was the reverse Like Her she The like the noise

Would hit her in a certain way And she'd get like Like less Like she'd become like more frantic And I'd be like no No it's cool It's cool And she'd be like

Oh my God Doesn't this make you crazy I'm like oh oh it sucks And I hate this I hate it And it and oh But like Yeah

like and part of it's patience yeah yeah um you know and then the thing the thing too as well is like already the difference between like the first hours the first day or so and then a little bit after that oh yeah huh is crazy because like first little bit i was like yo she's so chill this is crazy she was you hey you fool you you absolute moron you buffoon I know how you feel about this sort of thing it is time to become actively superstitious

a lot okay wow wow was really easy to get her down tonight shut up shut your fucking mouth I mean okay so

I mean again there's no chronology here we're all over the place but like when like literally when baby when she when punch girl came out she went eh for like one and then went down onto mom and was like oh oh my guy did the same thing he tried to go back to sleep and they had to be like hey hey hey come on yeah yeah right and i was like oh okay oh you know and then in general the fussiness was there but for the but there was like things where i was like oh, like when she would get fussy, like especially initially, like after that first long kiss to skin,

there's a point where it was like, oh, I can just put her right here and that fixes all problems. A lot. Yeah, it fixes a lot. I was like, oh, that's awesome. Oh, that's literally, that is the best feeling on planet Earth, right? Hey, how does it feel to get like legitimately brand new emotions? It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. variations of existing no no no no no they weren't there they were not there it was not there and like that of just like like I'm like I am fixing

the problem by just existing and holding you here is that's heroin right and you're like yeah I'm I'm dad I'm all I'm doing it yeah and then and then and then

right and now milk is involved, right? And we're feeding and we're upset and we're really upset when just because and life is sleep and breasts, right? I had a really hard time at that point. Yeah. And what happens is that thing I just described turns into, oh, you're putting me on your chest. can you feed me no then get the fuck off me

I had and I'm like I struggled a lot with the bro these are the wrong tits get out of my face I'm attitude of the baby I'm currently having

the worst time with that it's the roughest thing in the world and just a moment ago, this right here, this was all you needed, and this solved all problems. And now, this is the last

thing you want. It does nothing for you. Get off of me, you useless man. Get the fuck. Right? And then it's like, okay, what can I do? I can stall for time until the breast is here.

Yeah. So let's do things. Let's, you find positions let's make noises let's play a little you know little so let's sing let's talk let's dance let's do whatever and then you know eventually you can get you can get distracted for about a minute maybe too and then you're like wait a minute you're distracting me i want the best right what the fuck and then why are you fucking wasting my time and she remembers and then you're like ah try something new no and it's horrible right and she's like eventually she's like yo you need to stop with this bullshit and get me the milk now, and I'm like, ah, right? And it's like, oh, mom was trying to

catch half an hour, sneak, like nap time before getting back up here. But I guess it's not going to work so shit. Here we go. And man, that feeling sucks. I have curious questions, but if there's anything that you're like, oh, no, absolutely not. Not here, especially. Feel free to not answer. But are you guys also doing, like, pumping so that you'll also be doing, like, feeds? so yes there is pumping involved and um we're also uh you know we're doing we're pumping and um and and feeding directly and and uh even like throwing in some extra right um there which there's ways you can do there's like things you can grab a little tube and get a little extra in there while while the feeding is occurring um and uh the yeah the thought is that like oh okay

well, if there's a, you know, a step or if there's a feed that can just be all dad, for example, then that's a great opportunity to have a big nap, you know, big recoup and everything. Absolutely. But there's downsides to that, which are the regular scheduled production needs to occur and all the benefits of the latch for this time and not missing a thing and also introducing a bottle. Even though you want a nap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You still have to pump on the same fucking schedule.

So there's a whole thing with that. And then 3 a.m. is the best time for that, which is also when you might want to do that skip, but it's actually when you should pump the most. And then also there's the part where it's like, and there's different methods. You can go, like, you know, you can go spoon. You can go cup. You can do all these different things to get the actual milk into the baby. But if you go with the bottle.

But if you give them the bottle with the nursing at the same time, the bottle has a nipple on it that's too easy compared to the actual nipple. so then they get trained to suck at the wrong force. I mean, that can happen. And that, hey, so. But this is, and this is what we're kind of going through right now is essentially, you're like trying to figure that out, right? Because if you, yeah, if you train the wrong force of sucking. And there's nipples that are, that are have a size that's more forceful.

Um, but depending on whether baby is like in a situation where you're like, oh, baby needs more milk right now versus like, oh yeah, she's good. She can work on it a little bit. Um, you just don't, you're not sure about like, should. Yeah, that's basically it is just like, you know, if you have a baby that's like, oh, you know what, this nipple's great. In fact, on the bottle, I'm just going to do bottle. I'm just going to go with the bottle effort. Then suddenly the real nipple starts being a bigger problem for baby, you know. So you got to be careful with how you battle. The kicker is that real nipple is attached to mom. Yep. Yep. Which they like. They, yes. But it's the effort. That's, you know. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. You're completely right. However, being completely right. is not actually as important as it usually is. Yep. Yep. Because you are dealing with a violently uncooperative subject.

Yes. Yes. No. Being sane is more important than being right. So like, you're juggling, will this even work at all? Mm-hmm. How hard is it going to be to get to work? And also, babies need parents that are not ready to to jump out windows. And that's, that's the big one, right? Like, of all the pros and cons on each column of like, oh, yes, introducing the bottle and fucking up this, potentially,

or getting the ideal amount of pumping going and having the right amount of suckle and, you know, and nursing time and, you know, all the oxytocin in the world and so on. And then there's, am I about to just crash the fuck out, right? Am I about to crash out forever? And the, if you're, if you are, then you know what? It's time to just do the easier solution at that point. Absolutely. You guys are in this early period.

You guys are just like working together as a team, which enables you the best tip you can possibly do for young children, which is, hey, honey, I'm about to freak the fuck out. Can you hold this kid for a second? I need to go outside. Yep. Yep. Yep Fully Fully aware of that

I'm not to lose my shit I need to leave the room Excuse me Yeah Yeah Oh yeah You know As you just described

New emotions Right The new emotion That you get from You know Dad's making everything okay Is immediately complimented With the

the dark flipped reverse Arcana Of itself Which is Dad cannot make anything okay Right now

dad dad is the worst and needs to stop existing not only is dad actively useless also I want him out of my face I so I'm that's where I that quick hello we're live that's where I am right now

the highest highs I've ever had in my life with the lowest lows 10 minutes later it's the most it's brutal it's so insanely brutal I'm laughing but I want to to die. And it's, uh, and that's, that's currently it, you know, and, um, I'm like, okay, okay. The, the, the, you know, tell yourself all the idioms you need to. Keep it all in mind. And, you know, it's like, hey, you know what? Um, we had those moments where it's like, yeah, this is go, this is pretty rough, but don't worry about it. It'll change soon. And then it's like,

oh, hey, cool, we're getting the hang of this. This is going well. Yeah. Well, guess what? It'll change soon. So just don't feel anything or feel all the things. I don't know. There's a couple things going on there because I'm, I'm in the same place as you are just a little bit ahead, just a tiny bit, right? We share the same profession. So like, we're as close as it can get in terms of like family, like proximity, all that shit. Um, the problem is, is that like, yeah, you get swaddling let's dude swaddling unswadling diaper change back into the swaddle rock rock rock rock you're gonna get super good at that okay so then the swaddle period will be over as soon as you get super super good at it it's over not now you learn the new skill okay you're back

oh yeah I'm back okay but like yes the new skill skills will show up. Now, now here's the thing, too, as somebody who has gotten, um, I'm going to pat myself on the back and say, I have now handled various volumes of mess, right? I have done the, the, the big black tar, um, uh, the, my, my conium, right? Um, um, and then I've also gotten your yellow and brown peppered, all the mess, all of it, right? And I've seen the big fucking, and the small ones and the easy, I've gotten pretty all right at changing, right, and taking care of the changing situation. So that's cool. The, then following that change and going into, like, that first one was horrible, by the way, it was such a nightmare. I was like,

oh my God, it looks so much easier on the video I watched. What the fuck? What the fuck? Oh, God, oh, please. And a nurse kind of has stepped in. And it was like, cares how you. This is a question. Are you, are you the kind of guy who's like squeamish about like poop? I mean, I don't like it. But in this case, it doesn't matter. I was as we recently covered in the last couple of weeks. It doesn't matter. You have to do it. You're doing it. How I feel about it doesn't matter. But like for the context of the remainder of the conversation. Because I'm the kind of person, I don't give a shit. I don't give a fuck. Okay. Yeah. I'm like, that's, that's poop. Okay. Well, okay. So for, so for me,

at no point so far have I at one point I've gotten some on my like hand a bit but I've managed to be very good at not getting anything on anything except for the changing station itself and her and like once I got it on a new diaper and then

it was like oh fuck there it goes right that happened to me yesterday oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh that new diaper in the trash exactly especially when you're putting it on and you're like oh here comes more and you're like oh my god shield like you're fucking

Protect me Yeah Grabbing the huggies and doing a faultless defense with it again You know what I mean Like oh Use all that tension to just shield it down And again And I want to take that take a moment too

To quadruple emphasize The success of the tech Which is Diper Genie Thank you very much Right Man I don't know how it works

But it works Right And then with the seal, air seal, so you put the diapers in the thing that keeps it closed as best as possible. Two carbon filters that they, you know, the thing we have in taping them to the bottom and putting, taping one to the top of the lid and taping one to the bottom or putting it underneath the bag and then using a doggy bag as well as a sealer. That is all working out really well. So that's great. As somebody who's gotten a pretty all right with that so far, I have so many opinions

about newborn like outfits now that it's crazy in putting on like I have my one opinion would you like to hear it yeah does this have buttons on it

how about you go kill yourself and oh my god oh my god die okay if you put buttons on the baby's newborn outfit just end it just leave the leave this earth just get on get on a

ship and leave forever. Okay. Next. Um, if you don't do the thing where one of the zips goes all the way down to the baby's ankle on one side, leave off. I don't want you on planet Earth anymore. I need you gone. Okay. Next. And I would say biggest because we can work around those. If you decide to make the sleeves really, really tight and elastic-y for the style of the thing and make it impossible to pull the baby's hand out or see whether all fingers are protruding

because sometimes you're opening it up and you get like three of the fingers out but the pinky's there and you don't want to pull up and hurt baby. What the fuck are you doing, quit your job and change professions? Putting the clothes on is such like a trap of an experience

because the first time they're all like Google Gaga and they're like they're just like blah blah blah moving and you're like oh man this is gonna be so much easier when they're older

but then before they so my little guy like when I put a shirt on he put I go push push push push and he puts his arms

through uh okay but before that right before that is I fucking hate putting my shirt on oh get it off me like that

that part sucks and like I got one at one point I thought I had a trick because like she's doing the thing

where it's awesome where like from literally seconds on earth you put put a finger right into the hand and then yeah right yeah they do the reflex yeah feel that reflex grip and you're like yeah let's go and so i would put my out open up the sleeve put my hand in and get the grip going and then pull the grip finger out right and i was like okay we got some tech going and then we switched to one of the onesies we're doing that it was still too tight to pull out her hand it wasn't enough room for her newborn hand to come and I'm just like I want to burn this thing. It's crazy that you ship this product. Would you like a peach saliva, uh, patented baby clothes tech? Oh, was that what just

went by there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's what it's, page came up with this idea and it saved us a lot of trouble. Hmm. Uh, you have to be willing to destroy your baby clothes. Okay. Okay. Okay. Every, every single thing, every single time, you're like, oh my God. God, they don't like the feet. Yeah. Just get a pair of scissors and cut the fucking legs and arms off. As long as the fabric, it doesn't bleed out, right? Because sometimes I've cut sleeves off my shirts and stuff, and sometimes certain

types of cotton or fabric will, like, have, you know, excess that doesn't cut clean. So as long as it can be removed cleanly, then, yeah, that's a good solution. My little guy, you know those onesies that, like, end in, like, the onesie becomes a sock? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he hates that shit. Oh. Hates it. So we had like three or four of those that were just like, well, the feet, all the feet are gone.

Okay. Just all the feet are gone because he wants his toes out. Okay. Well, because one of the ones that we put on yesterday, like I didn't notice it, but like the shoes, the little sock on it was actually like designed to be almost like little ballerina shoes. I was like, oh, that looks cool. So I was like, okay, well, that was. works for that one. I will accept your I will accept your your subpar buttoning solution in exchange for these cute little boot shoes. I want to go into something because it's one of these things

like we it's the it's the nature for me anyway but it feels like the nature of a lot of people you included where you have the baby and you just start like grousing and griping right and you're commiserating over all the stuff that's like really hard um and it in it and you get people that are either younger or they don't have kids or they chose not to have kids and they're like i don't fucking get it these guys sound miserable um but it's also like the most personally fulfilled i've ever felt doing anything in my entire life by a massive order of magnitude and my relationship with my wife went from like great to like oh my god we're like we're like gods on the earth

and life. So we're oh my and we're so like we're like working together so well and we have this important thing that we're doing together and it's so important that's a pretty good reason

yeah but yeah I could have gone for a little bit more sleep today that would have been all right yeah tell you what man you know i'll let you know i'm uh we're we're here we're going through it you know um i'm gonna tell you right now when you do go back to streaming dude your streams are gonna be awesome hmm because you're gonna just be a fucking stupid rambling mess and it's gonna be great

use that energy well okay the the thing i already feel as i'm doing this right now the first professional thing that i've done since that's happened is like i knew that hey I took this break beforehand to get everything ready because you're making room for a new priority on top of all the other things in life. And what I realize upon clicking fucking the stream button today is that that priority space is actually like 50 priority spaces. And this is now priority 51. This is not priority two, three, or five. This is 51. So I don't know.

It's crazy how big that power gap is. But, like, for the past, for the first couple of months, I had another new emotion, which I'd never felt before in my life, which is, did you know that if you can't see your wife or child right now in your eyes? They're in danger. They're falling down the stairs into the furnace. Did you know that? That if you're not actually looking at them right now, they've both wandered out into the street in heavy traffic. traffic. Fortunately, as you've seen our place, this is open concept. So they're, they're right fucking there. Oh, yeah. You'd be, you'd be, you'd hear. Ah, hell. Yeah. Yeah. And that'd be an awkward

live stream fails moment. Um, as you hear me tumbling down the stairs, you know, but yes, absolutely, there is that feeling. There's also all the baby monitor tech you can get and set up and, you know, all the different settings on that to make sure that you see. see and hear every sound and log it and get as paranoid as you need to be just embrace it there's a product for everyone's level of paranoia i don't want to hear no matter how unhealthy i want to hear the rattle on the exhale right oh yeah i can hear the breathing no no i want it to it's kind of interesting too to watch as like the camera the crib the light thing next to it all have their white noise machines built in and at some points like a cry goes off and all the machines are

simultaneously going and you're like oh whoa whoa okay okay everyone's setting needs to shut the fuck up um all of these apps on my phone need to shut the fuck up um of which there are now many because everyone knows the grift is oh you got a newborn you don't have time to make decisions pay me that 70 bucks to track all the things you need tracked you know the grift is insane You're like, okay, we have you in the robot bassinet that sues you. We have the cameras and the microphone set up in a completely empty sleeping area where you've been swaddled into a custom swaddle that hooks into the wall. Meanwhile, I was in a hand-me-down crib in the hallway of my parents' apartment.

Exactly. like 25 fucking stuffed animals in there trying not to choke on my smoke asthma exactly it's like wow yeah no there is a part of this there is a part of a lot of this where I go I just think back

and I go hold on a minute man like I have we came from situations where I guess they figured it out and we're here but like in terms of where we slept in the size and what they had resource-wise and it was so much worse off so you're like yeah yeah it's fine it's

baby will adapt you know in which my mother told me oh yeah babies are fine don't worry too much about them but they die all the time and no one knows why that was the actual it's like oh babies are easy to take care of but sometimes they die and you just never know why and like this seems like a very awful just a juxtaposition mom okay really bad okay so So these conversations, these conversations are kind of fucked because they're happened, they, we had, we used to have them like once a year or so. And now the speed at which it's like, okay, so grandma comes over and we're talking and she's like, okay, so, um, you know, or like, like, like, what was someone, a family, uh, uh, gives, gives us like a baby blanket, you know, and it's like, oh yeah, like you can put that in the crib to keep them warm. And it's just like, oh, actually, right? do that. Right? And it's a very, but it's beautiful. You're very cute, very beautiful, but it's not, and put this on them when they're swaddled and they will be cute as a button. Exactly. And then so you get the, you get the things about like, you're like little things coming up where it's like, oh, it's like, oh yeah, so how is she sleeping? Are you sleeping with her like on her stomach or, you know, whatever and stuff? And then it's like. Are you co-s sleeping at one week? Yeah. And I were like, oh, actually, that's a terrible idea. And that's a huge link to SIDS and we don't do that because.

we know better now and she's like oh well no i mean we we were doing that and things were i'm gonna take this as an attack on my parenting skills because we did it and it was fine and that was and i'm like and that was 40 years ago like the low yeah no the and then the constant a low amount of like actually there's science and tech and here's studies i can show you the studies if you'd like to see them and there's always a response that's either oh well no we figure it out and it was fine or the the one I'm liking now because it's happened so often is wow boy y'all have everything these days we didn't have any of that you know we just figured it out do you want uh I don't know if you're going to encounter this but I encountered it and it's a

trip it's it's it's part so part of by the way you you probably feel much more like an adult now I noticed about a year in that I felt like a like a genuinely more mature put together man okay like a man okay um and you're you're starting that process and good for you and part of that process is the final leap away from your parents because i experienced talking to my mom about this kind of thing and she's like wow you know well we did our best you know that's we just tried to do the best with what we knew then and my brain went is that true And on a couple of things, I looked it up and I was like, it's not. It's not true.

You actually did know better in 1986. But hold on. Was the fact hidden behind a book in a library down the street? Or was it accessible? Okay. Because there's a part of that too where it's like the information was out there if you wanted to go look for it, but why do that? Because the people at church are kind of got to just give you their anecdotes and that'll go better. We didn't know smoking was bad for people that

weren't smoking back then. Right. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot. Do you even believe that right now? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know, and like, you know, or even just when it comes to things, because again, as the grift begins, you're like, okay, so the goal. here is to do all the breast milk we can and to supplement and hey look colostrum we pumped we got some frozen that's great um but you never know when you'll need some formula something might come up we might be a situation oh yeah our guy got a couple he showed up really early yeah yeah exactly right way too early like the milk hadn't come in so i'm just like so i'm going to get some formula to just be you know to have it there and it's like okay well here we go let's

begin the process of getting into i'm sure this is a grift too as i look at the eye and checking the back of everything. And then I got something and I was like, you know what? No, this is fine. This is okay. This seems all right. And then thankfully a nurse confirmed, she's like, yeah, they're fine. It's not, you don't have to worry about that. No, the Gryft is that formula fucking stinks.

Oh, does it? That's the Grift. Oh. It reeks. Okay. Well, no wonder, it's like, hey, after you open it, throw it out 24 hours later, no matter what happens, you know. There's a timer on that shit the moment you crack it.

But as I got it, I was looking and it's like, okay, so what's good for a kid? And it's like, oh, well, the ones based on milk, like cow milk is our show to have these benefits and these are good things. So like, overall, you can go with different kinds, but the cow milk basis is pretty all well accepted as pretty dope formula that you're going to get for your kid. Okay, cool. And then now cut to me explaining that. And my mom's like, cow milk. And I'm like, we're not doing this. We're not doing this. I don't know what soybean health based. woo-woo shit you got going on here with what you think's going to apply but we're not doing this right now not when we have the numbers when I have the numbers and I show you the numbers you have to stop

like for for Paige and I if we had to fall back on formula we went for it was emphomile A plus neuropro formula that's exactly what I got the reason why is really simple it's the formula

a nurse handed to me in fucking hospital when the boy was born. Well, there you go. Use this one. It's good for babies. There you go. That's not what I was handed, but it's the one I got regardless. And it was like, hey, great, little, little container. If you don't use all

of it, toss that. Perfect. Ideal. Yeah, man. That level of just like like, I already had, I already had a woo woo detector. And like now it is sharpened to a

It has been folded a thousand times, okay? You have to understand. Just the other day, we were discussing as we were meeting different professionals and doctors and nurses and stuff, right? And for the most part, especially when you're going off through multiple shifts, you're meeting different people. And like some of them that are like there for the long haul are going to be off their shift. And some of them are great and some of them are not. And that's just going to be the way it goes because this is the profession. and a lot of people are

really want to help take care of a lot of other people but they've also got a lot of shit going on in their lives and some people are like natural born incredible caretakers and other people are like they've seen too much and they're just kind of turning they're just turning it all off inside a little bit dude we ran into a lactation lady like a lactation specialist

yeah and after she left I was like Paige was that lady a bitch She's like, I think she was like a massive. And then we asked one of the nurses, and they're like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, she's, she's mean. So we had one or two of those, right? We had one lady where it's like that one receptionist at the OBG clinic that we are going to.

It's like, oh, God, if we end up with her, fuck it, hang up and call back, right? Like, just don't even proceed. Do not pass go. Just hang up and try the numbers again, right? And don't give it. And hopefully she doesn't know it was you that. called a minute ago but um and then and then now sharpening that woo detector as i was saying right the you know because i'm i've got an i've got a sharp ear to listen to the sound of crunch

if i hear a leaf being crunched in the forest a mile away i'm gonna fucking perk up and go like hold on a minute lady hold on a minute are you crunchy are you a little crunchy because we had we had one who was super nice, awesome, really great person and like very familiar and everything's going really, really well. And deep into the conversation about like how things are going and what's going on, there's a moment of like, oh, you know, one thing I'd consider is like really, there's a little hints of like, oh yeah, like consider like an osteopathy. Have you looked into that? You know, that's something that's really cool. And we're like, oh, okay, cool. And I'm like, hmm, I've I've heard a about that before and she's like yeah and she's talking about how great it is and everything i'm like

okay cool and then we get out of there and then i'm just like yo punch mom did you did you catch it and she's like she's like right and it's like this is it there are things that it's proven to work for but it is a pseudoscience it is not it is not a fully developed thing that is a hundred percent locked down certain right hey woolly woolie um i know you guys probably have everything planned out, but just in case, have you heard of this complete bullshit I'm not to tell you. Yeah. And here... That is based off nothing. Oh, man. Listen, I'm just, I'm just trying to do what's best for you guys and offer you options. And here's what I feel like I've learned to as well, right? I have a theory. It's the, it's the crunch pipeline because the crunch pipeline, not in terms of

working in video games, mind you, but in terms of woo-woo parental shit, right? Crunchy moms is the saying. If anyone's unfamiliar, what this means is people who think that holding your baby up to the crystals and the earth and the sunlight will heal them instead of taking them to a doctor. Did we show you the crystals when you were here? No, but. Okay, because one of the, because we have crystals in the house. Okay, all right. We're gifted to us. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were having burgers. And a sweet old lady came over and went, oh, what a sweet baby. Here, this will protect him.

And just handed Paige like a big fat piece of quartz. Okay. Incredible. I, yeah, yeah, right? Exactly that. And as I previously discussed earlier in a previous episode, when it comes to the process of pregnancy, if mom is somebody who, for whatever fucking reason, gets calm by holding the crystal, then give mom

the crystal then, right? Because the damage is already done. Good vibes, you can't stop now. What is reality going to do for you at that point? Right? This was a connoxytocin. 25 minutes ago. Yeah.

That ship has sailed, sir. Okay, but what I've realized about the treadmill, right? About this path we go down, right? The pipeline is that the person that leads you there is always like 80% solid 20% crunch just a little hint of it right like said person who was great fun great advice everything was awesome and then you get a little hint of like uh that's not proven and i know it but we're gonna move past that point of this conversation it's all good right and then a little bit of uh like as we're closing it out a little bit of a like you know there's a lot of stuff with the medicalization of things that has just kind of lost lost touch with nature and you're like yeah no no I know what you mean yeah yeah yeah back when you know

babies were born in dirty pits and mom and baby had a 50 50 shot you know and when we had to just decide which one are we cutting open and which one we saving you know that was yeah you know yeah I need you to consider what I'm about to tell you are you ready but what about the toxins Oh, boy. Right. Well, the person, the first, the first layer is never going to talk about the toxins because they're coming at you extremely reasonable and they've got that little hint of it. It might be 90-10. It might be 80-20. But I'm going to cut it off at 80-20 max, right? Little hints of crunch in what they're saying. Nothing too much. And for the most part, everyone's different. So you might have somebody who came from a situation or they're like, yeah, look, I don't know. No one's ever going to perfectly align with anybody. Right. You have to be aware of that. And believe it or not, right? you can go back and look at your pen and teller or bullshit episodes, but it's like, there's stuff out there where you're like, you know, when it comes to

acupuncture, we're not even really sure. It kind of does work sometimes. It's weird. It's weird. It's been conclusively proven. It was a statistical error in the original reading of those studies from the 90s. So wait, hold on.

The meta-analysis that showed that there was some, like, some weird inconclusive, but beneficial results. Yeah, no, people went We went back on that? The same data again. Let's go.

Yeah. And, you know, acupuncture is not. Yeah! Science! Let's fucking go. I'm getting hype. That's awesome. I love that that's bullshit.

That's super cool. Fuck that shit. Okay. Cizmo can be so strong and screw up your experimental controls. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. That's great.

That's great. Uh, every time. Anyways. Because that was one of those ones where they're like, it was in the category of, oh, there's a whole lot of bullshit here. And then now, and they're like, yeah, I don't know. We saw some stuff that seemed to, right?

And like, oh, like, you know, placebo, power of prayer, et cetera. Yeah, that's not the point. The point is, is that the person then will refer you to a person and let's say you go see, I don't know, that osteopath who's like, hey, I know some, I'm a specialist in this. And they, you talk to them and they're going to be like 6040, right? And the 6040 person is a bit more brazen about what they're talking about. But let's say you're somebody who's like, I'm trying to fix a particular condition

and I want to try things because I'm also going the referral to the second person is I'm going to go to that second person because the filter is if I don't need to go any further, I'm fine. I'm not going to go see them. But somebody who does show up to that second 60, 40 person is probably more desperate, right? Probably needs it a little bit more. And so the 6040 person is going to start bringing a little bit more of that woo into the situation, you know, and depending on what they then refer you to if your needs continue to increase or demands if you're in a situation. situation that calls for it, that third person is 50-50 at best. Yeah, so. And now we're just going downhill into the crunch zone.

All right. Here's where I'm at, because I live in B.C. And B.C. is different, right? Mm-hmm. I'm at the part where I'll just lean over and be like, we're cool with fluoride, right? And the person I'll go, yeah. They go, okay. Yeah.

And that, and that just like, that just kind of. Just solves that shit right away. Sure. You know, I mean, there's, there's things here. There's parts of, of town where it's like, oh, if you live in certain areas, you need to check out the lead numbers in the water because some places are like still on old pipes. And it's not everywhere, but if you live in one of those areas, check to go, go look into it. Right. And then you go, all right, here, we got the numbers.

It says here, this is no good. Therefore, yeah, get your fucking Bruder filter, right? Do what you got to do. Um, but just coming at it from the, the, the, what I was just described of like, we're going to send you, we're going to refer you like getting a referral for a specialist or a doctor, but you're getting referred to a slightly more crunchy person. And before you know it, you're walking into a shaman's hut. You know what I mean? Like, there's, who knows, who knows how quickly we end up there. But it's not, it's, it is at least two referrals away from the shaman's hut. And we're trying to do as much as we can to stay out of the shaman's hut. And we're trying to do as much as we can to stay out of the shaman's hut. But, well, just don't go. Yeah. Just don't go see the shaman.

But we need, but we need, we need the shaman's special blessings and incenses, though. You know, mom needs them right now more than anything. Okay. What, what else happened? The, the entire process was one where, um, so, yeah, I, I, I'm not sure if I mentioned it before or not, but like, you know, again, Punch Mom was super incredible with it. One of the things that happened was she got gestational diabetes.

And so that was, yeah, gestational diabetes, brothers. Yeah. It's our fault. Yeah. Not proven. No, no, that's a little crunchy too. Blaming. There's, there's, there's, I looked at the how much the dad is to blame for the placenta.

And it's like, maybe. But maybe not. But give me that doubt. Give me that wiggle room. Some fucking cope, Wully. How about you close that fucking Google window, you piece of shit? You know what? You can see that?

Oh, wow, that's crazy. You don't think I can see the light shine on your face as the way. As it gets a little bit brighter. As you open up a fucking Google, you close that shit. Fuck off. No, there's a fucking cope, dog. No, no, there's a decent, there's certainly a decent chance. Mr. Wully, the Sugar's Madden, could never have given his wife.

Oh, no. No, no, not at all. Me who just got the diabetes a year prior? That couldn't be me. What? Couldn't be me. Fuck out of here. That's all you.

What you doing, eating that chocolate, girl? That's your fault. Get your goddamn diet in order, bitch. What the fuck? Oh, you're feeling real brave right now on the podcast, though. As I'm chowing down on cheesecakes, you know? Um, so, so no, no, it is, it's, it's, it's, it's part of, it's part of what happened. And, uh, the results of which were, um, pretty tremendous because it's like, okay, well now, especially if we're at a place where, um, they're measuring in a more sharp, uh, way, we are going to implement like, hey, keep track of, they do, they have a whole thing in place. They're like, yeah, keep track your blood sugar multiple times a day. And if you feel spikes, go for a walk. Da-da-da-da, all these little things, you know. And, um, she fucking, was amazing with that and just crushed it and did all those things. And of course, plus having

the benefit of like, I'm like, oh, hey, look, we've got a whole bunch of spare metamusel from my episode last year. I got to tell you, man, like, you giving us that advice of like, yeah, just, just have a metamusal. Like, dropped pages blood sugar, like so effectively. It's incredible. It was the best piece of advice we got for the whole pregnancy. That's awesome. I'm really happy. I'm really happy that happened because it's great, right? Amongst all the other little tricks I learned, you know, getting through my own diabetic episode that were just like, oh, we're ready for this. We've already got the, the blood, you know, a monitor and all the little things, the cuffs ready to go, et cetera. So handling that and then ultimately getting to

the part where, oh, Jesus Christ, page, wow, thank you. I'm, that's, I'm, I'm, that's, I'm super happy that that was incredibly effective. That's fucking awesome. I think that might be a little strong, but you definitely helped their health. Yeah. That is pretty extreme. I'll take the dubs I can take right now, man. I got

another couple weeks of no sleep coming up. Yeah, hey, Woolley, uh, I told you this on the phone a little while ago and I told you this over text, but I'll tell you here now, you're doing a good job. I can tell just by listening to you that you are doing a good job.

thank you um uh yeah um yeah um thanks it it it is it is uh it's rough when it's rough um just don't fucking drop them and you're good that's like seriously like just don't just don't drop them yeah i just i just want i want to get back that power to make the crying stop You know I had it I had it I had it I had it I had it I how long that's gonna be I had it for two days Oh dude, I barely have it back now It was so good I tasted Elysium Pat I tasted the highs It was so good it's the greatest thing ever and then it was gone It's crazy do you understand how crazy it is to take away? No, no, what?

The highest high? Oh, man. The ambrosia. The ambrosia. Nearly exclusively mom's domain for a real long time. No, but it's right there. Where are you going? Okay.

Page and I had, I think we, I think we, I think it's the hands, it's the hands reaching out for the redstone of Asia in the fucking, in the fucking part two intro, you know? I think that Paige and I had this conversation maybe 25 to 30 times. or I would just get emotional and be like, my baby hates me. And she was like, no, you just don't have tits. Yeah. Right? And like, that's all he's about. And she was like, your time will come in the toddler years.

And that is starting to happen. Like the other day, he got super mad, like super upset and just started going da-da-da-da-da over and over. over and I had to cut a stream short I had to run over because he just wanted dead at all of a sudden it's like that was the only solution I realized that I realize that and I think that uh if it takes years to get that feeling again then so be it's okay I'm now you've dangled it in front of me and you've showed it to me and then into the distance it goes, and now I'm chasing it forever, right? Oh yeah, no, continue to chase it. They tricked you, they manipulated you on purpose. Oh, baby did its job.

Baby came out and did its job immediately and gave me that. You know what's the craziest thing? You know how like the most narcissistic thing you'd ever hear from a parent is like, this baby manipulated me? How could they make me what I, right? And then you have the baby and you're like, this baby is fucking with me, dude. This baby's totally messing with me on purpose. Is the baby gaslining me when you hear you hear a cry and you're like, hold on.

Was that the pitch that goes into the really high pitch that you shouldn't be hearing? Was that one of those really, really bad pitches? Hold on a minute. Get the fuck over here. Hey, you, what's going on? Baby's like, what's up? Yeah, no. You're like, your purpose.

You did the pitch. You can't use that pitch. Your purpose in this world right now is not even to be dad. Your purpose right now is to be moms, all purpose. roadie. Right, right, right. Anything she may or may not need. There's, there's some tricks that are, that are, that are, that are, that are, that are,

surprisingly effective for random reasons. And I'm like, okay, this is where, yes, dear. Yeah, okay. Not against, not against, not against, not against the big baby. I mean, it against the smaller one. Um, no, the, there's a couple of different burping positions, you know, and we kind of, I've kind of learned about like, I'm like, oh, she. hates this one. She hates the pickup, you know, for example. And I'm like, oh, up-ease is going

to be a problem for you, huh? Okay. Okay. Dude, like, a little bit on my shoulder was the one that he liked. Okay. So what she likes is, it's so weirdly aggressive looking, but it's when you grab right here, you support, like, the jaw. And then you lean them forward, and then you have, while sitting, and you do the pat. But from the front, their face is all like, br- Oh, you're talking about the football. And it's not, no, it's not football position. It's football position it's it's they're seated um god let me just do it with this like so you you put your hand your fingers around the bottom of the jaw or around the jaw line like this and then you seat them and lean them forward and then you do this right and the gravity of leaning them

forward works out and uh for some reason that makes whatever's going down no matter how upset she is she chills she loves just doing that yeah you're going to figure out all the cool tricks, man. And I'm like, okay, we got, we got one. We got one. All right, let's put that in the pocket. But, okay, I got off topic. What I was saying is that, like, with the gestational, so that was one of those things where, and it can go a lot, it can go a lot worse in a lot of different ways, but in Punch Mom's case, yeah, a lot of stars aligned and things went out, and she was awesome in sticking with it. And so we fortunately were like, okay, cool, we're looking at a percentile size, which is good. And we're heading into a range,

where um one of the things that you know of all the the possibilities that come from from having gestational so it's like your placenta gets affected and then of course you might get a big baby and if you get a big baby you might have to do an induction or you might have to do a C-section and stuff like that you know so who knows um and so we kind of got to a point where the doctor was like okay cool well you're good to go uh up to you know sort of like that that more or less that 40 limit or so and then at which point um yeah we're going to induce because we don't want to push should pass that because this is just the smart thing to do with this type of case.

Don't want to get too big baby. Exactly. And then, so we're like, okay, cool, that's good. Overall, you know, not like super anti-intervention or anything. Let's go science. But in general, you're like, but let's, but the things that hurt more, let's try to avoid those if we can, right? That's overall reasonable.

And so with the induction stuff, we're like, oh, we hope we can get something spontaneous kicking. But the, uh, the part where doctor hospital was just like okay so we're just going to need you to come in early um not because of anything going on but simply because we don't have the slots yeah we're really busy we're just busy guys so life will have to start earlier because of bureaucracy actually well i mean i remember

you telling me the dates and then i remember you reaching out afterwards i'm like it it the timing seems to have gone smooth from what I can tell. Yeah, it's all good. It's all good. But it was just quite a shock because we were going into that going like, okay, well, we have this much time and we have this much prep and idea. While keeping in mind that there's a possibility we might have to jump in that car and get going any minute now, there was an idea of like, all right, well, either we'll start

feeling it on our own and have that slow buildup of, you know, feeling contraction start. Or we'll have a date that we know we're walking in there. And what we ended up getting was, you know, calls and systems and rolodexes and like, yeah, okay, we'll schedule you in. Can you come in tomorrow? No. No. Okay. Well, how about maybe the day after? Like, it was just like, hey, slots are full. Sorry. And like, it's just a wild thing to imagine that like, you know, it wasn't any sort of miraculous, spontaneous moment of, oh, she was just ready. It was just like, nah, man, that's when that. That's when they had the slots and the free room for it to go down, you know. And so, yeah, went in and did that. And, you know, I guess some of the, the only other thing I'll say is over the course of, you know, beginning this induction process and stuff was how, you know, we prep for the long haul and see how that's going to go. And everything was going, went pretty much, you know, as we were told it would go. But there's one part of this chain where you're like, okay, here's the person of all these people coming in and out who this is probably our weak link.

And here's the person that's responsible for administering the epidural. And that epidural is supposed to be doing way more than it's doing right now. And it ain't doing much. And then you're like, wait, wait, wait, can we, can we see what's wrong here? Because, oh boy, it's coming on strong. That pain is shooting up to, are we in the category of the worst you've ever felt in your life? Yes, okay, we're there, we're at the worst you've ever felt in your life. Can we get that, can we get that epidural juice going?

Can we get it going? It's going. Oh, is it? Then why is it not going? I don't know. Let's check it out. Maybe we do something else back here. Oh, this should be it.

I think there's a problem back here. Let's fix that. all right now it should be going it's not going and you're just like can we get a professional in here please we had a we had a significantly more stressful birth story yeah yeah yeah but not that part that part's the sickest part of the birth story for us

because page was fucking flying with the dragon on fentany She's having a great time Once that shit went in Nah man It took like a third application For it to go And you're like What?

Are you the student? Are you the perfect Like what is happening With that You know Yeah You know And we're there

And like It's one of those bits Where it's just like Oh what she's feeling right now like, no, no, this shouldn't be happening. This should be way, way, way much more muted, and we should be able to get a little break before the pushing begins.

And it was just like, nah, you know? So that was shitty. That sucked. Like, you don't want anyone to be a weak link, but that's a, that's an important weak link, man. Yeah. And, uh,

hold on a second. Oh, yeah? and then the one other bit was like while we're in there in the beginning and one of the early the early nurses is coming in and reading the file out and stuff and is like okay cool and so you took care of this and you took care of that and all these little little bits um and um uh the the the one person uh we had up front was kind of like Like, okay, so we're looking at your medical file and we have all these things here and you had, you know, any of these prescriptions and these things, I don't know, whatever. And then she's like, okay, cool.

And, and, yeah, and so Miss Punch Mom. And so you also, or earlier, you had the herpes treatment, right? And she's like, what? And I'm sitting there, I'm like, huh? And she's like, hello? no and she and he's like no uh sir on your on your on your file here you know we prescribed you the valtrex and that was the thing and i was like okay i'm just gonna chill here and we'll just see what's going on there's no you know we but that and she's like no i don't

think that's really a thing um pretty sure that would have been and there's that kind of that moment of like, like, uh, and you're like, okay, is he, now he's like confused, but he's going, uh, okay, no, I think that was. I'm, he's like, I'm pretty sure that's what it was. And then it's like, she's like, no. And then I'm like, uh, okay. And you're like, is this a thing that you guys are supposed to have confidential legality about? And I'm here. Like, was I supposed to leave the, was I supposed to leave the room before you did that? And then you did that? And is she now having a weird, is this a life changing moment of like, oh dear God? Like, what is going on? Sir, are you looking at the right file?

Nope, he was looking at the wrong file. Oh, my God! You can't do that shit! You can't do that! He was looking... He mixed up the files, the room next to us. He just took the file from the room next to us, and he started going down.

You can't do that shit. That's, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, okay, cool. And he left. And we're just like, yo, right, right? And it's like, oh, and I'm like, okay. So now you have, and I'm like, hey, look, look, hey, you see that? You see how I responded?

You see how I responded there, right? Like, could you imagine? What if I just went, you, like, what if I blew up? Could you imagine? Totally crap. What if I just, right? Right? But you saw, I was chill and I waited for the facts and I, and then to discuss what the fuck just happened there, right? Very, very, very much so.

So what you're saying, so what you're saying is that during the single most stressful time in your wife's life while she's giving birth to the new life for you, you were like, hey, how we all sit around and pat me on the back? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you notice? Did you notice how chill, right? Because, because, yeah, that's the watch. And this was well before anything started. This was just the beginning of the day. There was those we just, we got in sat down. They went over the file and that came up and we're just like, what has been happening, you know?

Yeah, what secret life has been going on? Oh, you just literally grabbed the wrong piece of paper. And then, and then all of them. But now you've got that shit in your head for the, people next door. And, well, you've got that. You've got the fact that there's C-section twins going down not too far from us as well, right? And you're like, ooh, damn, okay, that's going down.

But the fact that that happened, right? And I'm then like, oh, this is why they have that thing where they're like, you can say, I want my baby to never leave my sight until we leave the hospital. Oh, he never left our site. You can check a box or whatever for any reason. to be like, no, no, no, no, no. There's no point at which there's ever going to be anyone. Yeah, you can lock on and stay locked on the entire time.

And that is a, that is a, that is a, once. Yeah, that is an included part of what is, is, is a part of the service there type of thing. And so I, I did not close my eyes. Yeah. After the boy was out until Paige had slept, like, gotten out off her epidural, and was alert and awake. Mm-hmm. Because there was going to be direct eye to baby. contact straight up the whole time between the both of us you know no no now granted i had a tiny

little red-headed baby that looked just like me so it's gonna be pretty easy yeah you know um you got the you got the arm thing and the leg thing but it doesn't matter when fuck-ups like that happened you go this is why we keep locked on the entire time z target all the way through till we're home you know um she popped out with a humongous headache hair like huge head of hair she's fully just it's it's all there there's very little else to do it's kind of crazy um and it turns out for some unknown reason um when kids have like the more hair they're born with the more heartburn the mother experiences absolutely 100% and we don't know why but it's just a correlated thing yeah that's an old wives tale that is rock solid it's

crazy, right? Like, I don't, it's crazy that it's real, but, but they don't know why yet. Um, but apparently so. And she, she did have, she did have, uh, you know, she did, like, it's just weird. Um, anyway. Chemicals, man. Um, um, so, um, yeah, like acid reflux stuff. Uh, anyway, so, so there was that part of it. Um, it is, it, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, Crazy. Um, it is, and it's also like, it is interesting how, I mean, effectively what the entire process of baby learning to exist is baby just doing random things until they work, right? Yeah.

And then like to the point where you're, got to learn out of poop. Got to learn out of poop. Then the body goes, oh, this is what we're doing. And then in sleep, you can kind of kind of see, like, you would feel the, the, the system warming up, right? The intestines and the lower and like the stomach and all of it figuring out how to process a thing and go like ah get out of there and all of it is just like i'm flailing and doing random things and like hopefully one of these things is going to be successful at work and um and that

that is pretty much how like you know life and things evolved in general right you do random shit until it works and then you're like oh keep doing that thing that seems to be going well um and like like dude tummy time is like kids hate tummy time but like you want to get them so mad that they're like want to this tummy shit to stop right right right right right And then they, that's it. That's the whole idea of my idea. And then they hulk out and like do lifts. Yeah, and then they push up, right?

Exactly. The, and that whole thing is like to the point where, you know, it's like I'm crying because I want the boob and the boob is in my mouth and the milk is already in my mouth and all I have to do is swallow. But I'm so upset that I can't get past that part. And you're like, everything you want is right there. Woolly. just

just swallow we've all been there we've all been there you're all like we've brought you all the way to the finish line you're past it now actually you don't even have to

like cross the finish line you're already past it just lift your hand up dude I literally dealt with that like two three days ago where my little man was like want fries and I look over at him

and like he's got his plate and his ketchup and his fries, and I'm like, you have fries. One fries. You, you, brother, I literally said, brother, you have fries. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have them. Yeah, no give, only throw, right? That's it, you know?

But this entire, this entire process of just, you just flail and then something works, and then they kind of clue in, and then they start doing it again. What is life, if not for a giant lab? and and what is becoming a person if not just labbing everything until it works and then locking in the tech so i i i'm i'm torn willie because on the one hand i'm like that's really sweet and on the other hand i'm like you have a brain disease that you are you are warped in a way i could not have anticipated hey man i saw i saw a target i shot for it um yeah you know we have that on lock and you know um at a point to like uh heading heading back

over to to to you know see a nurse at the hospital and stuff and um pull it up to the parking being like um as we get through the gates being like yeah we're here to return a baby and i'm like okay i'm working on my working on my working on my dad bits and you know tough crowd tough crowd, but we get... Yeah, it doesn't play. I enjoy my laughs. No, no, she laughed. Yeah, yeah. She laughed. She laughs. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. Like, those, like, listen, those people hear that for real, which, like, you have to, you have to take that into account. Um, yeah. And, you know, um, I mean, that was, that was, that was it. And, you know, the entire, the entire thing, too, of like, what's funny, too, about, I guess, uh, some of that, that whole, you know, like,

labor process and everything was the... It was pretty funny, huh? It was. It was. There was funny. There was funny. Right? Did they give you like an ice bed to sleep on? Uh. Actually, so I had, they had a couch

that folds out to a flatbed, which was dope. But I didn't know how the back head part worked. So it was kind of worthless in the end. Dude, that's, that's really hard. That must have been tough. Well, the problem. The problem. There was a problem. Now hold on.

There was a problem where I was sitting on it and I was holding newborn and then I leaned back to do some of the, you know, the skin to skin. And then the part that separates has a big hole gap. And so I'm going, uh, into nothing. I'm sitting and leaning my back over air and fall with baby here. And that sucks. And I'm like, fuck this chair forever then, right? And I'm sure you actually discovered that your reflexes in vital. situations are actually way better than

oh they're there oh oh oh we are yo visual calculus just went to nine bro it's like oh like you bust out a couple of the dad moves and you're like wow this is some extra extra juice got rooted to this as soon as the baby showed up because I was not this quick before burp towels and things falling off of things and I'm currently using feet and such to catch those no no baby saves yet but I'm preparing for the potential because especially there's some of those those predictable thrashing predictable pushing and then every once in a while a just yeat right every once in a while newborn is like what happens if I throw myself as hard as I can back this way and my center of gravity is actually my head not my body so even

though you're securing my body my head is really where it's all going to go so what if I did that though the baby the baby is neck oriented for maybe eight nine months I had that dude in like a back facing chokehold like nearly like just the whole hand around the entire back of the head and then the other arm just like this but then you get really good at like the tuck. Just jam

the baby in the crook of the arm and then just lock it in. As long as well I want as long as head is in a safe direction right. Oh yeah that's what you're your shoulders for but oh okay you mean face down like head turned and then body on you this way. Face up neck

on your shoulder. Yes Back in the head over the... Yes. Okay. Okay. That. That. Okay. Right. Um, yeah. So, no, I'm not, I'm not, uh, ultra instinct yet, but like the first, the first shine is starting to show, you know, a little bit. Uh, we'll see when, when a clutch save comes through. Um, yeah. Uh, I don't know. That's, that's baby, man. Um, are you ready to talk about? one thing to everyone in your physical vicinity ad nauseum for like the rest of your life so i've so not only has am i super ready but i've it's already begun because the process of talking to people about the pregnancy even yeah has has elicited that and i said before you can tell which friends are like oh yeah okay i've been through it too here's my thing or which friends

are like oh wow i haven't been through it but i care about you and so we're going to be talking about this and wow that's nuts and which ones are just like no favorite which is whoa that's crazy did you see that cammin writer's skull is going to be in super robot wars and like i had i had a turning point on that where i was just like am i talking about the baby too much and this is like on stream as well and then i just like was like well it's only the single most interesting thing that's ever happened to me by multiple orders of magnitude. But hey, man, no big deal. Of course. Of course. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, that's, that's, that's that's that. And the process is going to continue. And, you know, I guess, uh, eventually, um,

I don't know. Like, there's all this stuff about like, hey, it's, you smell, did you smell that? That new baby smell that you know what they talk about it's fucking cookies and you know why because that's that it's the vernics it's the cream cheese that they that no no it's not that no it's not okay like yes the vernics yeah but like that new baby smell our guy still has some of that new baby smell oh okay like like you give him a big hug you're like oh yeah that's that's my legacy right there Oh, cutest guy in the world Smells like legacy Jesus Christ

I feel Your kid will either stink Or smell like crack So I don't think in our case That's what's going on Because the hat that they gave her right away Like from with all that verdicts and shit That hat still has that cookie smell

Way more than she does Yeah Right So there is a difference for sure you know um and uh yeah you know i mean there's all all the whatever all the little things you look up and read about and you're you know cut the umbilical cord etc and then it's like okay and that's just gonna hang there and it eventually it's gonna fuck off you know but but just it's there it is and you're just like oh man that thing is kind of weird looking and and it's it's crusting up

and then there's points where i'm just like god fucking damn it can't i just pour the milk in here instead? Can I just can I just if you can I just pour it in here and it'll be easier It'll be easier to just get it in here You know Yeah Anyways

Anyways that's that's you know That's what's up that's what's up It's cool though to have the little like Another thing was like Oh you can you can do the finger in the mouth And like elicit like the trigger like sucking response and then you know kind of like you soothe a little bit and that's good for giving them like a vitamin D drop or something and then you can pull it out slowly and then that'll increase

their like force for like okay they're going to suck harder and then that's good for you know their ability to feed and stuff and then but if your dad doing that and you don't immediately follow it up with again the real milk you're just making the problem worse actually because then you're just reminding them how useless you are You know. Hey, wouldn't it be cool? Have you had some milk right now? I don't have any.

What use are you to me? What good are you? Fucking delete yourself, father, away with you. So I'm super interested in seeing you just crumble to the whims of a little girl. Man. See, big, tough, smart woolly. It's over. It's done. I have never been more cooked. There's, there's no surviving. Like, again, just, he, he, he, you're like, yeah, okay. All right. What the fuck? Destroy everything. Burn it all down.

Who do you need me to kill? Like, what are we doing here? Yeah. Yeah. And here's the, and the thing is, too, is that like, now imagine, trying to resist like those charms while sleep deprived and not in your right mind it's like while you're extra extra not thinking straight you know well luckily enough

you don't have to right now yeah give them everything they want only once they gain the ability to you know have brain thoughts do you have to actually deal with nah man yeah

Like, and here's the thing, depending on your personality, like, our little dude will, like, you know, hey, you can have a piece of a cookie, it'll eat the cookie, you'll go more, more please, I'm like, no, here come the tears, here it comes, but like, it's really adorable, because you get to see the, like, no, I'm not giving you a cookie, and then he, then he'll, then he'll, then he'll turn to the other one. Okay. And point at me and go, down. And, like, he's clearly talking shit. Okay, so, so, so can I get real? Can I get real, real? Can I get super real? Can I get as real as it gets?

Okay, because, okay. So, you know, when you're, you're doing your ultrasounds and you're not sure how things are going to go, right? And everything's, everything's coming up and you're just like, listen, um, nobody likes to talk about it. But sometimes in life, there are, uh-go fucking babies. Let's just be real. There are some babies that are other.

and you're kind of like and they're just as deserving of love of love beautiful little princes and princesses all of them right but you're like but you're kind of like but sometimes you're just like oh boy right and I'm like okay

so we talk and we're just like listen there's a chance you never know what kind of what's going to happen here right we just need to be prepared for what's going to happen babies are squishy when they they are born naturally sometimes they get a little football head and look and look it might even be one of these things where it's like

and if that goes on to be like you know a go baby into a go person or whatever? Okay, well then hey, they'll have a great sense of humor and then we'll just work on every other thing in life and it'll be fine right? No problems there or whatever. It'll be good. And you know what? Quite frankly, if you're too attractive, life gets too easy anyways and then people start

manipulating you and it's a whole other slew of problem. So who knows, right? Let's just preemptively just be like, yeah, we don't know what we'll get. But that just, we know that's a possibility. she's fucking gorgeous she's perfection she's the cutest shit ever and it's a problem like she's so like the features are like like the cheek and the everything and you're like uh yeah um fuck those i go babies that ain't my problem okay we are way past that point

she is she is cruising okay so here's here's the danger a mix a mix goddess approaches. Here's the danger, right? Okay. You and I earlier are under duress from an onslaught. Like the most amount of chemicals your body will ever throw at you in your life. You are the most diminished incapacity ever. However, what you will do over the next two years, three years, four years is what Paige

and I've done is we keep all the photos and go. No, no, no, no, we were right now. Dead on, dead on, dead on. Cuteest baby ever. No, I'm not looking back on these. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, rock solid, cutest baby ever seen. Yeah.

When our little dude came out via C-section, the operating room went, aw. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and then I'm, and then that's, that's it, right? And then eventually at some point, they join, you know, the class and all the others, and you just kind of look around and you're like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, all right, no, just make it sure. I'm glad I didn't know if your personality was like this because everybody's different, right? Because when you become a parent, you are about to embark on a two-pronged journey.

Journey one is judging other parents like you wouldn't fucking believe. Like, the self-righteousness and like the, oh my God, can you believe, and with your wife, like, because you're such a, you're a team, you're on the United in front. But can you believe the Johnsons? Holy shit. But that's like the little tiny version. No, the real version is judgment of other people's

shitty children who aren't shit compared to your perfect angel. Those other kids? Oh my God. No, no. I was pre-up... Pathetic loser children, really. I was preemptively huffing some copium that I did not need to

because we're fucking, it's done and done. She's untouchable. That's the end of that. No, punch kid forever. Punch girl forever. The, on that,

I'm speaking of, of huff and copium, actually, it's kind of funny because I was wondering, I was like, oh, like, what are the different levels of escalation for pain management

we're going to get to here? Because, you know, if we're getting to that good shit, right? If we need to, I know that's on the table. And what they actually went to once, especially when fucking,

you know, our epidural master was crushing it, the greatest anesthesiologist in the world, they were like, hey, do you want to get some of that laughing gas? And it was like, fucking whatever, man, yeah. And out comes the laughing gas. And it's like, oh, whatever works, you know. Have you had the nitrous? No, I haven't.

But wow, what a device. and Paige is also, I don't think it was, I don't know if it was for the pregnancy. I think it might have been for a different, like, check, but they gave her the gas. Gas is all right. Yeah? The gas is all right. Okay. Okay. Yeah, no, I've never, you know. I know that, like, you know, she's kind of saying.

It's a really strange form of pain management because none of the pain goes away. You just cease giving a shit. Right. Okay. Like, I think it was a little too dizzying, though, and that's the part that I think she didn't like. but like overall yeah apparently just it does work as an amazing distraction um among and you just have the thing and it makes some noise and all of that stuff you know um hey i need to be right back there you go there you go back there you go exactly being a parent is fun yeah sometimes you're doing a podcast and you look at discord and you just see lowercase help yep

Yep. Fuck it. Just like, right before starting, it's like, oh, shit, we got a, we got a feed going. Need to take care of that. Pod later. Pod later, who cares, you know. We had... Do you know what yogurt sticks to? Hmm? Everything. Ah, there we go. There we go. Yeah.

No, it, it, I know that, like, it's been a long time. And, you know, I always, when I used to mind everybody listening that like we used to do this offline and we would just record when life suited and then it would it would show up when it was ready and that was it you didn't have to worry about the live part of it and uh now that it's been long enough folks are spoiled on the concept of the schedule the schedule has never met less in this moment right here even if not for the coronavirus and me moving all the way out here etc as of today, this show would have been fully remote for the foreseeable future forever,

because we both need to be here and also the ability to sprint away, if need be. And, but yeah, and just alongside that, the feeling of, oh, no, my scheduled, like, thing that was supposed to, yeah, go fuck off, no! You know, it's out when it's out. That's going to be that. What?

Yeah, so the checklist from earlier, diaper food temperature burping position or other um that we yeah that wraps up around how many months a three it's the fourth trimester okay you are you are dealing with essentially uh a sleeping um uh the food demanding poop machine for about three months and at the two three month mark is when the personality is going to start to come in

so yeah that first three months is maintain and keep yourself sane and I think is too as well that it was something that like again you want to talk about old school versus new school right some of the more old school folks in in life

being like oh sometimes just let them cry it out you know they're going to need to learn to like that not everything is not every need is going to be attended to in some cases not only do i not believe in that i don't know how anyone could manage it so the one yeah right the noise the noise is soul searing to begin with but that aside that of that aside the whole like cry it out thing um they specific like we are like the current textbooks are like Yeah, that's a hard line in the sand from now and to 20 years ago. You cannot spoil a newborn.

They have no, they have no concept of time. Can't do it. Can't spoil them. They don't know that things take long or short or that you're ignoring them and letting them get tired or that you're coming right away. They have no idea. It does not make any sense. As Paige, as Paige says, they don't even know ABCs. Yeah.

No, so, you know, that's, that's one of those ones who are like, shit, okay, right, that makes, that checks out. That makes a ton of fucking sense. Um, the, uh, the, the thing I was going to bring up to is, after the laughing gas bit was just, um, some of those like, uh, contraction pain, um, management things involved, some of them involve literally just grabbing a comb and squeezing it to hurt yourself. So that it distract. from what else's a pain elsewhere or pinching them and pressing pressure points and doing fist of the north star shit you know to create more pain elsewhere and it's not going to make it stop it's just going to distract you and it's like oh that actually helped it's like yeah it's super did crazy you know um anyway anyway uh yeah yeah yeah that's that's that oh i think we'll be talking about this for at least a week or two more. Maybe even

a month. Oh, man. And I was kind of wondering, I was like, are we gonna, is she going to be a guest, but I think she's chilling, so you know. She's probably busy, Willie. I think so, but

she's busy learning how to exist and recouping all energies. Did you know that if you feed for too long, they spent so much energy feeding that then like they go down and need more energy because they spent too much on the feed that you got to feed them again yeah i got to tell you man babies they kind of don't got a lot going on the recursive feed loop is a serious danger that if you take too long they spend too much battery and then you have to recharge that same battery you were just

recharging fuck fuck man god damn it dude all right they're doing their best what else is going on who cares I've been waiting to do that I've been waiting he's right

he's right you know but here's what's going on I'm at the phase right now where I hand the little man some milk and you remember dutu right for thank you Mm-hmm.

So now I hand at Ms. Melig and go, and what do you say? And he responds with, please, and I say do, do, do, do. So fully able to say thank you. Aware, aware. Is literally out loud saying, and then I say do-to. Yeah. I understand the exchange. I see your offer, and I choose to reject it, actually.

I give you what you want to hear, but also, I choose to add this. Adorable. My terms. My terms. So what else did you do with your week, Wolf? I don't know. You've seen good animates. Fucking.

We played an episode of Severance while we were in there. I brought the Steam deck, and that was a good distraction for a minute, played unpacking, you know? Hey, let me ask you. How hard did it hit you that, like, everything in your life is totally pointless? How hard did that, like, slam in you? Dude, we can't have this discussion on Mike. We're supposed to have a podcast about video games to continue getting money. If we tell everybody on our podcast about video games,

how much none of this matters, then we're not going to get the money, Pat. So shut the fuck up and keep it moving. bro i'll walk away right i don't give a shit hey that sounds like a great time to thank our sponsors oh boy you know what matters i gotta get the dog you keep you keep going let me tell you what matters y'all um when you are getting your online business started you want Shopify. You want the ability to get that site up and running and plugged in with every platform, all current tech, so that you can sell things no matter where, no matter how, and get them to the people that want them, right? It's confusing when you're getting online

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Really liked it. Page also really liked it. Takeaway. This is the Lex Luthor I always wanted. Yeah. It's the absolute most spiteful, motherfucking piss baby shit flinging,

fucking tantrum-throwing bitch. Lex Luthor. Yeah. but but pat how did you deal with the fucking woke the wokeness of the superman just disgustingly fucking political is this about the squirrel you know what

You know what? Yeah, actually, I can make this bit work. The saving of the squirrel shows empathy, a thing that a whole lot of people apparently just don't fucking have. And your ability to empathize with the other person that's not you is a huge problem that kind of defines the reason why our entire world state is the way it is. because some people have empathy and some people don't

and it's a huge problem with planet Earth and the fact that he has empathy and he's saving that squirrel is fucking gross man that's disgusting what the fuck that's not what I wanted I don't want that in my Superman don't preach at me

man you gotta be a fucking massive piss baby to get your fucking dick twisted about a Superman movie yeah or super down for dead kids I don't know, whichever. Take your pick, you know. So I like Superman.

Okay. Superman's pretty good. Yeah, no. Not that one. All right. Also watched the first episode of Peacemaker, which was, it's all right. Um, hey, yo, why? Hold on.

Somebody asked to talk about Jimmy Olson. You know, what's going on with Jimmy Olson's Riz mastery? Yo. You mean, you mean, you mean, like, look that up afterwards. You mean sex god Jimmy, the unstoppable. We thought it was being played for goofs for a bit And then we were like, no, no, no, wait, it's not being played for goofs And then I pulled up some old comic books on that internet

And was like, wait, what? He who beds those across a spanning fucking galaxy of worlds Yeah What's up with that? Yeah, hey, guess what? Olson fucks, bro End of story. What else?

Me and Page is a sponsor stream of a game called Abysus that came out relatively recently. Oh yeah, how'd that go? Extremely well. It's excellent. It's the easiest sponsored stream to do, a game that actually

just rules, and it's really good and fun to play. It is it's basically Hades, but under the ocean, Eldritch like Kutulu Mayan shit. Nice. But instead of playing like a third person

action game with melee, combat it is it plays like borderlands like i could i could go around and compare it to a bunch of things no it plays just like borderlands oh first person yeah okay um and it is go through your your set of rooms shoot some golems or some fish people get to the end of the room get your upgrade that gives you chain lightning or defensive bonuses or a weapon upgrade that changes how your gun shoots um and It feels really good to shoot. After the stream, I went and I've been playing it for a couple days, and I've beat it six or seven times. It's excellent.

It has one problem that will likely be solved over time with patches. And the problem is, is that the permanent upgrade tree, like, you know, the mirror of darkness equivalent from Hades, it's actually super easy to max out. I maxed it out in about nine hours I completely maxed out every single upgrade and then at hour 12 I unlocked every gun and every ability and every sub weapon

okay so and then at hour 14 I was like wow there's literally nothing to do then you're a god the difficulty and chase achievements yeah okay you're unstoppable like I like you can

they have a heat equivalent but it's depth because it's under the ocean but there's no progression tied to the increased difficulty it's just achievements okay the increased depth is just making it go longer but it's not getting harder it's just to make it harder

just to see what you can do and it's like I need I need a little bit more of a character yeah in a rogue map what's that no I was going to say in a in a rogue like or like Hades like game 15 hours to to godhood is pretty quick.

I think that Hades has like kind of the perfect formula where it gives you very small incremental upgrades as you increase the difficulty. And when you increase the heat or the fear in Hades 1 and 2, the difficulty like shoots up. Like it really dramatically increases. But here it just doesn't feel the same.

Like once you're broken, boy, you're broken in this game. They do have a roadmap. They are going to be adding more content over the next couple of months slash years. But for right now, I got like pretty much everything I wanted out of it after about 14 and a half hours. But I really enjoyed it quite a bit. Okay. But it's just, it was, it's the only one of these rogolikes that I like, I actually like feel like I definitively finished it within three nights. Is the FPSing like, are we on an ultra kill style like fucking go? No, it's borderlands. Borderlands. Okay. It is like explicitly borderlands.

the way you shoot, the way you move, the acceleration, the way, the arc on your grenade, the way turrets work, like, it is borderlands coded, like 100%. And I really like the way borderlands shoots. So that was a very happiness to me. I also got some codes for nothing. Close call. Nice save. Yeah.

Nothing. All right. I started playing... I want one of those. I started playing Trails in the Sky, Legend Heroes, the first game, the PSP game from 2004. Okay, okay. Yeah, this is one of those things where the name is a title that is in my brain, but I'm like, what actually is it? It's the one that has discount Oscar on the cover?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know the artwork And I know the logo And I and I Trails in the sky Legend of Heroes trails in the sky First Chapter Okay

Not to be confused with the first chapter Remake coming out in two weeks No the old one Isometric view Not 3D Third Person camera Like old timey like 3D model Sega Saturn looking chibis

Okay Yeah This is also one of those games that I believe we made fun of because of its really forgettable name Yeah, quite terrible So there's like 17, 18 of these now

And they're all quite good But I never went into them Because they represented The most disastrous Attack on my obsessive-compulsive Sensibilities So in the Trails series, every single quest chain main event quest thing has a full-blown, worldwide dialogue shift for every available character. So, hey, we got to go save the people at the mine.

Getting the mission to go to the mine is a time of day where every single NPC in the game has their own dialogue. Then going into the mine, but then coming back out, everybody in town has a different line of dialogue. Oh, wow. Leaving the mind halfway through the quest stage, everyone has a new line of dialogue. Finishing the mind, but not turning it in,

like, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So I was pitched this game by somebody who was obsessed with that shit and was like, oh my God,

it's so crazy. They take so long to localize these because every character has so much dialogue and it's like a living world. And you could just learn about all the NPCs every day and you just talk to them so what did pat back in 2010 try and do i tried to talk to every single mpc at every single stage of the quest yeah and burn the fuck out is this is this the

new b line uh as a result of xenoblade by the way i'm on track to beat xenobled one in 34 hours um which is like 25 below how long to beats main um as a result i just started playing it like a normal human and I've been really enjoying it though it is quite old okay so yes you hold on a second I think that dog needs to go out yeah BRB anyway uh it's it feels like I don't put this trails in the sky feels like a Sega Saturn RPG that I just completely missed out on like it feels like someone walked up to me and went have you ever heard of a game series called Final Fantasy and I went

No Okay Tell me about it And you would have gotten in hard If you played it differently back then Oh yeah it's great Okay

It's great It's a little trope And it's a little But it's like It's of its time It's from 2004 It's a Falcom game Uh

It's nostalgic Which is weird Because I didn't Experience it at the time Hmm So is this one of those things where the remake is already like a problem? So yeah, here's what happened, right? Because it always is.

My timeline is getting excited for the remake. And I went, oh, cool, maybe I'll try that. And someone reached out to me and said, hey, just to let you know, that game ends on a vicious cliffhanger. And it'll take at least a couple of years for them to remake the second game. in the third game, but those games already exist. So what's going to happen is you're going to play through the remake and go, oh my God, I need to find out what happens first. And then I'll go from the 2025 next gen remake of the first game to the 2005 PSP game.

And I went, I'm not only not doing that. I'm just going to go back and play them in the order of release. and one day in 15 years, I'll get to the remake coming out next year. I mean, look, as somebody who watched an FF7 remake into original FF7 run happen, I'm like,

it's not the worst thing in the world, but you just have to obviously prepare yourself for the mechanical... Yeah, no, here's the thing. Here's what would happen. I would play through the brand new remake with Estelle and Josh, and then I would go,

wow, this game's really old for Trails in the Sky Second Chapter Trails in the Sky Third Chapter Trails into Zero Trails into Azure Trails into Sky

Cold Steel 1, 2, 3 4 And then when I get to trails from daybreak I'll be like Oh, this starting to feel close to where I was at

with that first one that I play It's Yakuza It's Yakuza It's like yeah No it's Yakuza Times 100 Oh I missed an entire series Got it

Yeah Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Um So it would be like playing fucking Yakuza Infinite wealth And going back to Yakuza 1

on PS2 And then having six games Of that Like Yakuza 1 on PS2 Yeah Yeah So no I'm just gonna play the old one

And I'm liking it It's good It's very chill It's also extremely low stimulus because it's old and slow. Ah, there you go. There you go. Yeah. Yeah, man, only Japan hits with those just iterative releases, huh?

They just don't do it like that here. No. Well, aside from Madden, Hall of Duty. Aside from the EA sports and EAization of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. And for Pets. hat, I think that's it, other than a couple pieces of news that I'm very interested in this week. Okay. Yeah. Did you, by the way, as side note, did you have that moment when you looked

at like your closet and just grabbed all of your fun t-shirts and threw them in the garbage and just got the zipper things only because everything has to be able to open from the front. My t-shirts? What? For baby. Why? I don't

I actually don't understand what you're talking about. For baby skin to skin like I feel like I went through all my clothes and just went, this is all worthless because I have to be able to put baby on chest.

Just take your shirt off. Yeah. Yeah. I just take my shirt off Yeah, that's doable too I put my shirt on to come over here Okay, fair enough It's also baby walking around With my mobs out nearly all the time

Okay, baby also likes it pretty cold Which is I think you're supposed to do That's why my mobs are out so they get cold Okay, well That's what I want for them Okay, well I went for the shirts That opened up from the front so that I can do that That's all I was asking

All right it's yeah i just bear dude unless i'm going out like as i'm getting older i'm just wearing like less and less casual clothing in my house okay the delivery guy who brought like we got like we got a what the hell we get we uh we got um uh swim diapers in the mail and i'm pretty sure the delivery guy saw my tits okay and good for him well like good for him like good for him he gets a show let me just let the perplexed chat know that uh my house is pretty cold so it's more comfortable is not pretty cold it's pretty comfortable for me to wear a sleeveless zip forward then i want to i want if you're going to put that information out there i would like to challenge you on

it your house is not pretty cold my house it is pretty cold to you not to a regular human My house, okay, up in the studio is where all the heat rises, but where the baby is is very cold right now because you're supposed to keep that shit pretty cold. Dude, I can't believe the temperatures that my son wanted to go to sleep in. They tell you. 62 degrees, and he'd be like, if you put a blanket on me, I'll freak out. Yeah, they tell you, they tell you, they tell you, 20, 21 degrees is where you'll want to keep it for baby. Yeah, well, that's going to depend on your baby. temperament and desires. I guess so, you know, but like at 2021 locked in, it's like, yeah,

it's more comfortable to, to do a zip shirt than it is to go full shirt off on it. Yeah, just take your shirt off and just point the glass cutters away from baby. Oh, they don't, they don't do that, but yeah. Anyways, okay, I asked a question. Nobody understood. Never mind, moving on. What's up? Just take your tits out, dad. nah i mean i do i did but if we're in the cold room where baby is like it's it's much more comfortable to have at least the fucking half layer on yeah so uh what uh what else oh yeah if you want to see me beat xenoblate this week play some sagot and street fighter uh and also check out

both the old shinobi and the new shinobi this week go down to twitch dot tv slash pat stares at you know what? I played strider last week and fucking contra hardcore man strider aged like shit like you wouldn't fucking no strider's great a million years ago it's dumb and terrible okay no no no okay first of all I'm playing the arcade one

each time and it's it no no no no no no I don't care about no Genesis port I'm playing arcade strider that's all I know and fucking give a shit about and it's terribly awesome It's perfect Busted dumb bullshit I love it

Yeah yeah yeah Nah Um That's it for me I think Cool All right Uh

Bopopopop Up bup Sorry Excuse me One second BRB Okay All good

Uh Apparently earlier At some point Punch Bomb started laughing and at us and that startled her the startled baby so

so here we go yeah stop being so funny and charming right also got a it's already in place but like mental defenses for like for saying names

is just got to be like got to make sure you got that on lock you know the what was I going to say yeah no as I said on Twitter like she'll check in in a decade or two or not

depends on what she feels like dad your shit's so cringe hold on I need to jack into the shittier matrix blah hmm oh it's going to be terrible so luckily there was no news this week not even one news end of podcast bye no there was at least there's at least a couple news

okay well how about this one let's just start real quick as we have been talking um hey guess what blitzcrank got leaked yeah you remember me talking about like i bet they're gonna put fucking blitzcrank in because he's the most normalist freak they could put in yeah yeah so so he looks a lot better than his usual design Yeah, so they updated the design. The funny part is that it was actually just on the support page for 2XAO. Somebody fucked it. But it's almost like in a way where they're like not even taking it in like a big deal.

They're like, yeah, there he is. It's supposed to get unveiled like in literally a week. So that's the thing. It could be a like he was going to come out with the release of the beta. But you go to the support page offer 2XCO and there's an updated design for Blitzcrank. right there and they pretty much went like hey y'all is that is that a thing and they're like yeah lull so hey blitzcrank confirmed um what's goofy about this is a rufeel monger already has a video up going yeah so i played blitzcrank two years ago okay well there you go he's a he's a he's a big

body uh grappler with tons of command grabs and did they turn all his clicks into um into s buttons basically. So I don't know. I didn't have time to actually watch all of Rufelmonger's video. The thing that I need to know is because he's a hook

character. Right. Okay, you described before. He's a roadhog. I throw my hand and I hook people like roadhog like stitches, etc. Yep. So if he's going to be a big body

command grab character, is he going to have a long range grab? Mm-hmm. Like, I hope so. So big body get over here instead of big body shield, you know, type thing. A proper big man grappler. Grapler, like hook get over here into command grab or hook get over here and then like.

I would have to watch Rufels video or wait for September 3rd. Does is he a robot with like guns or anything like that too as well? He's just got his hands. Just big old swings. Okay, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Full-screen command grab, what's someone saying there? That, I mean, that's his proper kit from League is that he's a rip-off of stitches where it's, he's essentially roadhog.

So, probably the closest you would understand it. Okay, so, so the, the get over here would be unblockable. Yeah, potentially. In league, there's no blocking. Right, right, right. It's a punch and a knock-up. Okay. Okay, cool, cool, cool.

so I said back on July 27th I said hey listen to XKOs roster sucks shit but if I can play Timo and Blitzcrank as a team on launch it's a good game and I take back everything I ever said halfway there so today I literally quote retweeted myself it's okay you're halfway there halfway there the final character is going to be somebody cool but lame I think it's going to be like a collie and I'm going to be like whatever Someone that Well yeah I mean which

Like okay Of all the different Stan camps You know Some are more on fire than others And some of them demand meat And I feel like You want to offer the meat up

To the ones who are in cannibal form Who are the most bloodied You know You gotta put Timo in there then Mm-hmm Okay You got to put Timo All right

So that's the first little confirmed there pretty good there you go that's nice uh second confirm how about that skong september 4th nice uh well more yeah importantly like there's two things that are really interesting about this one is every indie game getting sconged in air quotes as everybody is running the fuck away for the fourth's release date every okay take to take take take take a week and reassess the situation, uh, you have exactly one to run away. Um, like there are about a dozen games that are just like, no, we're moving two weeks. We're moving a month. We're moving two months. We are getting the fuck away from Silk Song. More interestingly is that, uh, that same email we got last

week about the monkey's paw, you know, uh, of do you accept never playing it to get a behind the scenes on what happened? No need. We actually got both. Because hair's, uh, is the article um why silk song took so long to make and so i went over this article at like 7.30 in the morning which was not a great mindset to do so i think that these guys are totally fine and i tried to make this distinction because it was a little grumpy because i had to wake up early i think that article makes them look like out of touch assholes i don't think they're out of touch assholes but i think the specific like phrase and then lack of emotive text in the article

actually makes them look insanely, insanely out of touch more so than they very much are. I feel like the way it sounded is exactly my response to that email we got, which is I don't know if that's a good deal to make because what if the answer is simply we just want it to, we just, there's nothing special, there's nothing crazy,

there's no insane twists or turns to the story. We just took our time, it's low and that's what we wanted to do right I think which is exactly what happened really fun bits in that article where they described we definitely didn't mismanage anything there was no like disaster and then they go into like exhaustive detail how they like horribly mismanaged all of their deadlines like so but but but but but but I guess the idea is like what do you perceive a deadline to be is the energy right we're like well we never really set one therefore It's not like we're blowing past anything if we don't hold ourselves to that, right?

So this is what I mean by like the context and the writing of the article kind of makes them look like jerks. Because from your context, you can understand that when they say there's no mismanagement, what they mean is there wasn't a computer that died with no backups. There wasn't somebody who wasn't doing something for six months. There wasn't like a year's worth of work they had to throw away because it was written on the wrong version of an engine. They actually just got like cataclysmically involved in feature creep. yeah and that's and we're like oh let's work on it more but that is their preferred method of development it turns out and then you read things like uh what is jira

and if you will come from the world of qa you bug out and go you don't know what a bug database is yeah i don't even know because we're just freeballing it out here and you know i mean as somewhat i i ran a project with trello for a bit there and it was like yeah that was a thing where you basically replace sticking up stick up notes on the wall with a digital version of that. But Jira or

Test Track Pro or any of these things database trackers are pretty much a quintessential service or thing you need running on a complicated game. Or you could just give it to one person and go like that one person will QA the whole thing. It'll take a bazillion years, but sure.

Like the the aura coming off of it is like almost to the degree of like an Australian language barrier because I understand what they mean by there was no mismanagement. However, when they described that every single idea they ever had for the game, they got distracted to implement and then they really genuinely planned to have it released in 2022 and it just got away from them, that would be under my definition of mismanagement. in that like how what do you mean you really thought it was going to come out in 2022 and you just missed it by three years so if you had a producer if you had a deadline if you had a goal if you had something where they're like you have to get you have to hit this milestone or whatever the case is and there's external pressures or even internal pressures then there would be a point in which they would say you have missed that thus this is falling behind but they just kind of went vibes based the whole way through yeah um the the standout answers were just hey what took

seven. Why did Silk Song take seven years to make? We've been having fun. This whole thing is just a vehicle for our creativity anyway. It's nice to make fun things. There wasn't any developmental challenges or obstacles. They just needed the years to ensure that Silk Song was exactly what they wanted to make. It was never stuck or anything. Always progressing. It was just a case that we're a small team and the game takes a lot of time. No big controversial moment behind it. Also, terminal workaholics. Oh, I'm sure. Their description of the way they interact with that game. Like, they are, they, they are, like, addicted to working on their games. They love it.

So I think it's pretty important as, you know, as people who have, I feel like, reported on the winds of skong over the last seven years every time they've shifted and blown. And the fever pitch on the outside of Team Cherry Studios, as people have been waiting on it, has just been like, there is nothing. I kind of maintain this too. Anyone creating anything can create the thing they want to create in the way they want to, especially if they're doing it pretty much as a exercise for themselves that, you know, has an overall, like, it's scratching an itch, which is I like making a thing. And if you happen to enjoy it, then that's cool too, right? You can approach things like that. The thing we've talked about here is the wrinkle where you're like, one, there's a Kickstarter with people's backing, but involved with it, right? That kind of goes all the way back to. that part of it and then to in general people are going to have expectations about a thing and if something ends up taking longer close to two presidential administrations they're going to have feelings about that and I think that's going to be understandably there's a threshold somewhere between four to seven years where the impatience becomes warranted it becomes understood I mean we we survived

the global pandemic got married and had kids sure yeah so so that's the thing is like Like, you know, you could, any creative project is allowed to handle things the way they want to, and the public is also allowed to feel the way they feel about things taking long. Yeah, so there's part of that that really stood out to me, and it's the only part that I'm like, I don't believe you. Like, I actually don't believe the response they gave, which is, well, why not update people more often, which is their response was, oh, they felt that. it would just rile people up and make them more disappointed that it was taking too long to come out and like, I don't believe you.

You guys ran a lot of updates on the Holo Night Kickstarter when the Holo Night was coming along. I believe what is probably, this is coming from my ass, this is a gut feeling. I'm under the impression that

they have a shit-bigillion dollars from Holo Night selling 15 million copies, and they're like, well, we don't need to do that anymore because everyone's excited for Silk Song. There's always that. Yep. Like, they seem like the type of workaholics that actually running the social media

seems like an annoyance. I just, you know, projects run differently. We talk about how Hades was an experimental, developmental style for Super Giant where they went. Let's start with a team of one person and then add to it slowly as other teams get less busy. and ramp up in scale.

And the goal was to get people on an early access build that was playable early on. So that was one way where the years of development did not feel like years of development because I guess people were hands on it right off the bat, right?

The, you know, I think Baldur's Gate had its early access as well with Act 1 for a long time. And then, you know, these, like early access approaches definitely help things feel a little bit more like, yes, it's going to take a while, but at least there's a hands-on with something there

that would have been reasonable to address people that are especially looking at a Kickstarter backing expectation to be fulfilled. In this case, I think it would have been appropriate. And knowing that Hollow Night is so insanely massive, it probably would have done, like, no harm, but all good to have a early chunk of that just potentially hit early access at some point

while the rest of the game developed over time. it's super strange because they say they didn't want to spoil anybody by putting out screenshots but like the fucking trailer they put out for the release date has like a photo of the game's map in it well like area names on it and shit okay i mean okay that's i i did they per don't believe you at all did it did they Pokemon golden silver it probably no no no it has silk songs map like you can see the area names okay okay um yeah there's part of the the only part of that that i i know in my heart that i'm like oh oh you guys oh i hate this i hate this a lot is they're like and we have some really ambitious things planned

for silk song in the future that we're working on that might take a while to come out and i'm like i remember hearing that back in the the tens about hollow night about how the the hornet campaign was going to be something really special and they're doing it again they're literally obsessed with just working on it forever and not putting it out they made it in the same way that like a random indie dev

works on like a kind of illegal IP project like a 2MR you know like another Metroid 2 remake or some sort of fan game like a game where you've just been hearing about one person developing it over the course of a decade, Sonic

Robo Blast to you know, just one of those background things. They basically, that's the style of development they took. I was chipping away at it for a chunk of your life. I'm expecting Silk song to show up with a fucking owl cat logo on it

that means that the game will come out, but it will only be done in four years. annoyed. annoyed by this. Alcott a cat are the people who make the wrath of the righteous and Pathfinder Kingmaker.

Right, right, right, right. Or have a rogue trader where they keep announcing multiple years of season past DLCs and patches. And you're like, can you please just tell me the game is over so I can start it? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah.

So, no, that's the story. Is there is no story. It's just, no, we were just making it. It's an anti-story. You know? So I don't, I don't believe that it's an anti-story. I just think that maybe they are a little too big for their bridges. Apparently there is a Australia-to-N-Australia cultural divide happening in this interview.

Okay. I was informed by Paige and other people who are more familiar with Australians where, no, no, that's just how Australians talk. they kind of sound like out of touch like no that's what just Australians who have good jobs sound like I nai yeah okay

all right well um I'm I through this through 2XCO through um fucking bayonettas

and every remake and everything that has been around as we've been doing this show um I say most projects have about three years leeway before people start getting a little lancy and around year four they get ornery. I think we did the same song and dance for Eldon Ring.

And I remember being like, man, the way they've not shown us anything and blah, blah, blah, this game better really just blow my socks off. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, my songs are gone. There's that. What I would also say, too, another invisible metric, and this is trickier now than it was in the past, is did the generation change? Have we moved in a new entry, have we entered a new range of consoles, you know, that are...

You've entered a second new range of consoles. Has development... Song was supposed to come out on the Wii U. Yeah. had to restart on a different dev kit is a nice what the fuck is going on metric that we used to have in the past. And again, it slowed down now and PC changes things and Unreal changes things as well. The ability to, you know, migrate is not as big of a thing as it used to be. But, but that was one.

It was like we watched two human jump across four generations, you know, in development or whatever, right? So, yeah, that's, that's the other bit. people get a little antsy about about three in three years in and and that and that that three years counts from the moment your studio is acquired not from the moment your project is announced i think the all-time winner of dumbest idiots announcing your shit too early was cd project with two with um cyberpunk 277 because they were like they i read an interview where they're like so when we put out the trailer, like, we didn't even start working on the game

for like another two years after that. Oh, man. And I'm like, wow, you guys are absolute buffoons. Like, you started the clock multiple years early for no reason. They got the rights, I guess, at some point. And, yeah, that's... And their games always are built and take forever anyways, even once...

Yeah, people are pointing out Elder Scroll 6. it has been longer from now to the Elder Scroll 6 announcement than it was between Skyrim and the Elder Scroll 6 announcement. So what's going to happen? They're going to make that game in three, maybe four years, and Elder Scroll 6 is going to come out after an 11-year wait and people are going to go, I waited fucking 11 years for this.

And I don't care if that's not how development works. You told us X amount of years ago, the clock starts on announcement the clock starts um we know that expedition 33 was in was uh uh gilm's fucking baby for almost a decade or whatever the case it's been do you know when it got announced a year and a half last summer two years ago last summer yeah last summer yeah it's been it's been 12 months so here's the thing and the the kickstarter aspect of the silk song thing really fucks them because also no one paid attention

because they didn't know what it was so it got announced and everyone went I don't know okay if Silk Song was not a Kickstarter backer reward and they had not they would have totally still started working on Silk Song

and what would have happened is last week after years and years of man Hollanite was great I wonder if they're ever going to make new Hollenight game next week Yep, yep, without being owed, without that bit.

Yep, totally, totally. And it would have been the craziest fucking thing ever. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Or, or an alternate reality, that DLC3 was smaller, and it just was added on top of the final update to the game as a, you know. I remember when they put out Playable. Master for Hollow Night. I remember being like, wait, what?

Why did you do this instead of the other thing that you still have to make? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I could definitely have seen a point where they're like, no, here's playable Hornet and she just drops over the existing game. End of story, you know? That's what everyone thought it was going to be at the beginning. And that would have been very reasonable because guess what?

Playing a zero is fun too. You know? Yeah. Anyway, so there you go. That's that story. I do feel bad for them. the tone of that article and the happy positivity in it and they're just like dude we just love working on it every cool idea we did we just had to flesh it out i'm like man they are building

that castle high well like i i i mean i um i i i i the what i got from what i what i read which i admittedly was not top the bottom on the whole thing uh but i feel like the impression of some of the the the takeaways here has been to the screaming like skong derangement syndrome like person there's an energy of just like yeah there's an energy of kind of being like yeah I don't know we're just having fun man whatever you know like like screaming to the abyss that's okay we're just doing our thing um and there's a definitely acceptable amount of that that you can of that energy that you can have because yeah like you make whatever you want to make how you

want to make it but just I also think it's important to have an understanding of how things will be received over time I mean you could have put out a single screenshot a year um you could have done that there's no reason you couldn't have done that uh or you could have an intender fucking an entire fucking Nintendo direct dedicated to the thing that we barely knew existed like Kirby air riders oh I didn't even watch that shit hey guess what don't bother it's awesome They took Kirby Air Ride and they made more and they gave you more things to do and of all the crazy new features and awesome things you're going to have in it and it's a pure Sakurai game like overtuned because Sakurai can't stop. Here's what you need to know. One, there's a star with a cape on it.

That star man and he's cute and he's great and he's awesome. And second, there is the most disappointed you will ever see Sakurai. is when he had to announce that this game unfortunately has had to add a second button. He was very much dismayed that they had to add now a turbo boost button or a special button in addition to the one button designed from before. He hated it. I didn't know. It was one button.

It was Kirby Air Ride was one button, right? It was a was break but also charge and it was also like drop your right, your machine the ground so the friction would apply instead of floating you know you'd corner you'd break and you'd charge up all with the same button and now it's like sorry we got to add a second button so that you can use your specials and he was like fucked this bullshit and he flipped the table and cleared everything else more buttons i don't care he was so mad about two buttons just use a different button um incredible uh it was cool that's it um something else uh uh uh I mean, look, I grabbed what I could in the midst of all this.

And, you know, I saw a couple stories here. If anything crucial slipped by, then I don't know. Oh, I've got one. It's not crucial, but I do want to mention it. Oh, yeah. The Battlefield 6 devs put a debriefing out for, hey, here's the takeaway from the beta. And some people, particularly Call of Duty streamers and players, figured out how to do some bunny hopping slide canceling shit in Battlefield

and we're like check out this movement tech and as a result the Battlefield 6 devs are like yeah we put tons of shit into the game that you can't fucking do that anymore and if you jump your momentum will just crash to almost fucking nothing and you can't slide cancel anymore and stop bunny hopping okay fucking stop this is DMC 5 inertia being killed. No, no, it's not. No?

So, oh, so you're, you're not like, you haven't been playing a ton of multiplayer shooters, and that's never been like your jam. I know you've dabbled an apex. I dabbled in apex, but I played Titanfall, in Titanfall 2 enough, and I remember Skull God kind of broke down how, you know, skiing in tribes and all that movement tech used to work and how fast and insane those things would go if you learned how to bust the system open. You're completely right. And you had Quake, Unreal

Tournament, Tribes, Titanfall, et cetera. And the thing about Battlefield and Counter Strike and shit like that is fucking stop it. I don't want to do that shit. I'm not playing Battlefield so I can bunny hop around a

fucking corner like an asshole. I fucking hate it. Okay. And a lot of the people who play Battlefield fucking hate it. Okay. you're like, yo, I learned how to do triangle drums, want to see a fucking infinite and I'm like, bro, we're playing Samurai

Showdown. Could you fucking chill? Okay, gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Like, Battlefield is about using vehicles and your squad and checking corners and getting good positions and

flanking and seeing people like bunny hopping through fucking windows and off of roofs is just like this shit fucking sucks and it makes me not want to play it oh man okay and like the last couple of games have had like more expansive like zippy movement and they have been panned by their general audience because of it like i cannot like i don't think they went far enough in bad company too the best battlefield game they ever put out you weren't even allowed to fucking lie down on the ground

there was standing and there was crouch and that was it even let people go fucking prone. Is it one of those things where if you're doing it, you're on a tier of player that is just never going to be stopped by people who are not doing it? Like two games are taking place within the same game.

So for Battlefield, the way that it works is that if you are doing your cool-ass, fancy, zippy shit movement, what you're doing is not capturing the point. So you're ending the math. with like 50 kills to two deaths and zero points and your team loses. Okay, yeah, yeah, all right.

Because I'm reminded of, again, Guns the Dual, name drop, where people who are doing all the tech were playing a different video game against each other compared to the people in the same room not doing the tech. And that was just it, you're right? And like you could be, you would be like a grunt in Titanfall 2, They're for the picking, but they were pretty much only, the gods were interested in fighting up here in the sky, and the plebs below would shoot their guns and do their matrix wall runs. But if your goal is to get to the fucking point and capture it or whatever, you're being fancy and it's at detriment of the team. Like, there are like the, and it's one of those things like, oh, why are you lowering the skill ceiling?

It's like, no, it's not about lowering the skill ceiling. It's about like, this is what we want the game to be about, right? If you want to play Apex Legends Go play Apex Legends Okay, okay, okay Right? So like when I think about Battlefield and I think about Oh, what's a cool battlefield moment?

I think about the guy in the helicopter Or the plane who jumps out To shoot a different helicopter with a rocket And then get back in the helicopter As it is falling and fly away I think about one of my games in the beta where I caught me and a guy ended up like catching each other

like you know dead on like we both turned a corner simultaneously and he hit me a couple of times so I threw a smoke grenade down and then he laid down put his bipod on and just shot into the smoke for like 10 seconds as I went for a super long flank

to his side and then shot him easily because he wasn't moving and he was lying down and then helped me get the point it's not about zip zooppin fucking button hop bouncing off the fucking walls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about putting

five packs of C4 on a Jeep and suicide bomb at the point. Look at my 360 no scope. We're playing Splatoon. Shoot the ground, idiot. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Gotcha.

Like battlefield, when you're sniping, the bullets have like very extreme drop because you're going at extreme distances. So like the spinning no scope shit It's fucking stupid. It's like, no, just get your nice spot, be hidden. And when a guy stops moving for half a second,

tilt the fucking scope way up to compensate for bullet drop. Okay. So anyway, it's really good news that they're like, no, stop it. Cool. Take wave-dashing out. That's, like, in spirit, it hurts me to hear that is the correct way to take this game a little bit, but I understand.

I understand. What, like, what if, what if, Samurai Showdown had like infinites in the corner?

Sure, sure. Or some, would that be more fun? Yeah, no, no. Like,

there should not be a wave dash in Sam's show. Like, same thing. 100%. Like, yeah, like,

actually, you, you comparing it to Sam's show is actually a really good example. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay,

so, uh, this was kind of just a loose one, but it is, um, It is interesting. I'm curious to see how they play it. Marvel Rivals, so NetE's had an interview,

and they confirmed that they have been given the green light to create original characters. Who cares? And they're saying, oh, stay tuned, who knows, right? Yeah, who cares? Who gives a single shit? Well, I'm like the idea of like, even after all this time, do you go for it

and risk the ire of you're wasting a fucking slot. How dare you? Oh, dude. I totally agree with that sentiment in advance. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I've been thinking about this, right? And we're talking with, remember we talked about it with 2XCO and stuff as well, right?

I think there's a way to do this, and it's very, very, very delicate. But the people who understand it best are arc system works. you can in a highly anticipated IP create your own original character but only as part of the base roster you cannot make it DLC I'm gonna be super blunt you mentioning 2XCO in this conversation

like fucking triggered my shit yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah if I see a fucking brand new character on the 2XCO roster yeah I'm gonna fucking lose my mind Um, so, uh, uh, uh, Labyrinus, uh, show Minizuki, Android 21, right? You have to have the original character that joins that roster be there on the base game.

You cannot sell it later. That's a slot. You're fucking crazy if you do. That's the only way to go about it. I think, I think you using the persona cast is really telling. And the reason it works there is because those games got every character in them. that you would have expected that you wanted to be there right off yeah yeah well you didn't have this feeling of like oh fuck well well i could have played as yoske if labriss wasn't but but admittedly

between arena and ultamax a bunch more characters everybody wanted showed up right not everybody was there in arena you know they yeah you know what to xkio can have original characters once they get through the 170 plus regular champions sure um but but but in in p4a's case you know you had a you could it's what one could have argued where is my uh you know uh whatever any of the yukiko what the fuck that thing was for multiverses where's my where's my you know ken i want uh instead of instead of labrists and shadow labrists right so yeah it you don't people i don't think anybody's going to think about an original character being on the base roster especially especially if they're the final boss right if the final

boss is a brand new original character, you get away with it on the base game, but don't you fucking dare drop it as a DLC character later for development purposes. I think for Marvel rivals, this is like the absolute stupidest fucking idea conceivable. There are literally thousands

of Marvel characters they could pick to fulfill any role ever. It's too late. It's too late. It should have been there. To make it as a drop in a season that takes away anticipation from another wanted character. Isn't Luna Snow the original character? Um, but wasn't she

Am I crazy? Wasn't she from a different thing? Let's find out. I thought she was from a different thing that was like a single mobile game or something like that. Where did she show up? She is from the comics?

No, okay, okay, there you go. She has massive OC energy. Yeah, she's a big obscure pull, but she's more recently, uh, yeah, she's a more recent character. And,

um, obscure from the comics and I feel like there was a mobile game or something that gave her a big push that like put her in the spotlight a little bit but anyway yeah there was no there was no full on original character dropped there anyway the other bit was just following up on all that you know the great decisions happening over at Microsoft soft and the king firings as well. So, you know, as AI has been coming in and becoming more of a like, you're going to be shadowed by it, you got to use it more, et cetera, setting all their goals. They just kind of updated

that to say that it's basically everyone, like employees are now mandated to use AI on a daily basis. And nothing says incredible technology. like fuck you use it bitch yeah and and in light of this story other like CEOs and

companies that things have been popping up where they're just as companies where they're like you're going to start using it every day or you're fired and that's that and people who didn't are getting you know last week the MIT released a comprehensive meta analysis study that says by the way AI is losing everyone tons of money oh yeah yeah yeah oh yeah absolutely no no the fact that like the grift is coming through is good that's pretty incredible timing right there um but in the meantime we're going to like sacrifice every human that hasn't ran away yet to their replacement and enforce it more brutally than uh the day before so uh because it's going to be us that shows

everybody else how to make money using this thing that doesn't make any money and when people do think about you know the most useful uh i uh day-to-day um models they think of co-pilot they don't no what oh no

no I mean the thing you disable as soon as your computer turns on the thing that you can't run away from fast enough

unless you're defeated into using it through sheer just like by your spirit being crushed which to be fair is how Microsoft

has been using has been abusing their audience is basically like we have tech you don't want to use it but we're gonna hope that you just give up and you stop resisting and using our tech is like accepting cookies sure you can go say reject all except the essentials

but people eventually get tired of bothering to click three times I actually got confused and thought you were talking about like cookies cookies and was like I could go for some cookies no no no no I mean like website cookies because I mean I know it's three or four extra clicks but I go reject all cookies except essential every time time, but the thought process is you're going to get annoyed of doing this eventually.

Not really. Okay, what else sucks? Oh, well, here. Not hugging your baby. It does, right? So, here, how about this? Just speaking of AI, because there was a artist contest

for Search Fighter 6 submission submissions that went through the other day and Kimberly the winning choice was people spotted it was AI generated and there was a bunch of telltale clues they apologized and they released a new Challenger art that's basically

just leaning on full goon button so good for Capcom so they're like our bad here have a goon and have a goon on us have a goon on us problem solved there you go done and done there you go and apparently the original submission uh the original account that submitted

the the i1 has deleted their account so you know that's that's how that goes yeah all right um we got any emails this week because i got to be honest i'm falling asleep all right um yeah i'm sure you're eager to get back as well i am the last thing i well i just wanted to briefly touch on is just their um the sale of Evo Sony's co-ownership in it they've now sold or their share of Evo to an e-sports company

Nodwin which is an Indian e-sports company but they also they own Nodwin It's one of, it's a thing Nodwin is a company under Sony so it's almost like a changing of hands thing so that's not much of a shake-up

or a change or so but RTS which is the Pokey main company is, uh, continues to hold their share of it, but they're getting a larger investment from Kedia. So, uh, just take that Saudi slice of the pie and increase it overall. Um, which awesome. Love that. Hey, guess what? It's happening at every single company that, uh, is making the games that you play. Um, cool. So just, just want just so you know. Not Silk Song. Not, not Team Cherry. No. but just about everywhere else.

Yeah, let's see over here. What is? Yeah, you know what's actually nuts about that too? What's that? The, where was it? In terms of that like creeping up investment with like everything else that that Saudi's been buying up and stuff, like the percentages that they've been pushing on to like,

Nexon, EA, Coe, Nintendo, all that shit. I kind of was looking at this. I saw, like, there's a tracker of all of that. And the part where they own, like, what was the percentage of SNK? 96, because they bought it from that Korean company was on the, was like, that 96% equals $600 million, which is the lowest of their actual number investments in all of those companies. So, for example, like Capcom, they put way more than that. Nintendo, they put billions in and it's just owning a smaller percentage. It's a weird thing where basically...

I mean, considering it's Evo and it's not Nintendo, that makes perfect sense. Yeah. So they put billions into Take 2 Evo, sorry, Take 2 Activision, Nintendo, Nexon, Capcom, et cetera, NCSoft and so on, but it's one of those things where because SNK was, is a tiny ass fucking rinky dink fighting game company, you throw a couple coins at it, and you get 96% for that versus 10 or so. SNK is no fucking Nintendo. Sorry, you cut out.

S&K isn't even S&K. Sorry, I didn't hear what you said. Oh, I said, of course not. SNK isn't fucking Nintendo. No, no, absolutely not. S&K isn't even SNK It's SNK. It's SNK play more after

rebirth from death, exactly. So you can invest a billion in Capcom and get like a 6% share or whatever, but you can invest half of that and grab the whole thing. Let's see what we got over here. If you have an email, you can send it. Send it to Castle Super Beastmail at Gmail.com. That's Castle Superbeastmail at gmail.com. All right.

We got one over here. No name given. Dear Castle Superbeast's question, how much aim assist is too much? Listening to Pat reflect on his time with Battlefield's 6 beta reminded me of my relationship with Halo, a multiplayer shooter I used to really be into, and recent releases haven't just hit for me. Something that bothered me was Infinite having a lack of bullet magnetism. Swapping between MCC and Infinite, you could feel the loss of aim assist strength,

which made the game feel less Halo, made me worse at it, and I won't deny it distracted from my enjoyment. Detracted, excuse me. I was surprised to see how in depth, how despised aim assist was in spaces where keyboard and mouse players could fight pad players, though. Its conflict was bound to occur since Halo Games started on both platforms, started to launch on both platforms, excuse me. So you're both pad players. How do you like aiming on a controller?

Should players be segregated into input, should be segregated by input in competitive settings? They should turn it up until the numbers even out. out for against from pad to mouse and keyboard. So my only metric, my only comparison point for this is, is Titanfall 2. And there's a, while there's an aggressive auto aim on that, it feels like mouse and keyboard players still rule the day. And as a pad player, I still feel like I can do well and learn to like get better at overcompensating for that, that lack of.

turning ability and awareness and such. So it feels okay to me, but I don't know, right? I can't say for other games where you can't grapple off the wall, do backflips and jump into a robot. I have a deeply unhelpful answer.

Battlefield 6 has the perfect amount of auto aim because when I played on PC against people with mouse and keyboard with a controller, I did pretty well, and that means it's got good auto aim. Did you have fun and it felt good to win? Okay, so then it's If I'm playing the game and I don't do well because the auto aim isn't strong enough, then it's bad.

It's not enough. That's it. And if I'm playing the game and I feel like the controller is being removed from my hands, so Destiny has an auto aim that's too strong because enemies that walk past you will actually drag your camera. It's way too strong. But if I'm playing the game and I'm doing well against mouse and keyboard players with a pad, that means the odd they nailed the auto aim and that means it's good because I'm having a good time. But it's Destiny's PVE, so it doesn't matter. that much, right? Yeah. No, that's

kind of it. And I think more so to the point, like if you do like what Titanfall did by having all these profiles of like, you know, how much the camera moves as you move the stick from the middle all the way to out to the edge and allow for this a ton of fine tuning, then I don't

imagine it's an issue. It doesn't seem like it. And of course, you can always balance auto aim like aggressiveness with patches over time as you see the results in whether or not you think things are balanced in properly, you know? There is always a problem with the fact that if you're on a controller and you are not bumper jumping, you're going to have to release one of your sticks to press a button or to do a thing.

And that's an inherent disadvantage you can't get over. Well, unless you bumper jump and design for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I win the match, they did a really good job. All right. Fair enough.

I think that's how I feel about it. Everyone, I want to thank you for listening to the podcast. Take care. I thank you for your continued patronage. None of you matter. Isn't it crazy? It's so insane. Every other human being on the planet has just radically altered.

Like, I'm thankful that you're here and you're hearing the words come out of my mouth. I cannot emphasize how little you matter. See you next week. with second or third stream, where I was like, man, I would drown all of you in a river for like a couple cookies to give my baby. I would do it. Just fucking die. Thank you.