Castle Super Beast - Csb348 Children Yearn For The 50 Year Lollipop Mortgage
Episode Date: January 11, 2026Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Older Twitch VODs are now being uploaded to the new channel: https://www.youtube.com/@CastleSuperBeastArchive Toddler Germ Warfare Another ...Year, Another Disastrous Golden Joysticks Dispatch Dongers Denied Where You See Child Predators, Roblox CEO Sees Opportunity Sacrifice Every Child on Earth vs Mud on Elon's Suit Watch live: twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://shopify.com/superbeast to sign up for your $1-per-month trial period. Exclusive $45-off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SUPERBEAST. Promo Code SUPERBEAST Go to http://rocketmoney.com/superbeast to cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Go to https://FactorMeals.com/castle50off and use code castle50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Level up your game and get 10% off @TurtleBeach with code CASTLE at http://turtlebeach.com/castle #turtlebeachpod Invincible Vs won't resolve time overs in the traditional way that most fighting games do. It has Sudden Death. ZOOPUNK confirmed for PS5, Xbox Series, and PC; reveal trailer Elon('s outfit) vs all the worlds children Former Rockstar Games staff were fired for sharing internal company messages on an employee and union-only Discord server, new report suggests PALWORLD x ULTRAKILL Dragon Ball Worldwide Character Popularity Poll Update Fallout co-creator Tim Cain says today's games suffer from trying 'to be everything for everyone' when they should be learning from '80s games: 'These games were really focused, because they had to be' Roblox CEO Makes Utter Fool Of Himself In Car-Crash Interview Over Child Safety. David Baszucki spoke to the New York Times' Hard Fork podcast about the app's pedophile problem
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Discussion (0)
Yo, yo.
Hey, what's up?
So, how'd the process go?
Very fast.
So to those of you not watching the video version of today's podcast, I am extremely bald with just a mustache remaining.
So I guess whenever I see these changes, I just think about the times where I've, like, done the hair stuff and I've been in a bathroom with my head over like a tub squeezing and going through a bunch of,
of different, you know, a bunch of different examples of colors and so on.
But it sounds like you go to a professional and then professional, oh, ooh, I'm very quiet.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Wully is extremely quiet.
Not to me, by the way.
I can hear the wully extremely well.
Hmm.
Which says to me that it's, it's something in OBS.
Strange.
Strange.
It's my baldness too loud.
Hmm.
Okay.
I think a setting got played with over here.
Give me a second.
One second, folks.
Thank you.
I think that should be fixed.
Hey, Wully.
How are you?
All right.
Sorry.
I think a knob got turned during some Street Fighter 6 commentary.
It's definitely possible.
Yes.
Okay.
There we are.
Cool. So yeah, I was saying that it occurs to me that if you just go to a professional who can professionally quickly, cleanly just remove all the hair, then this doesn't become as laborous a process as it would seem.
Yes, it's actually, it was like one of the fastest haircuts I've ever received in my life.
Just right off.
Hmm.
And then, so there was this fun little moment where he's like, hey, man.
so I understand
I get you're trying to get rid of the purple right I'm like yeah
it's like well I mean it's growing out
you could just you just like save it
I'm like no
all of it yeah and he
and he looked at me and went all of it I'm like
all of it I mean you can't explain the story
every time it's really hot it's get like okay so the
purple hair I could explain oh it's a bet
this one is like
I look like I'm lying
because I am
yeah well I say oh no this was the second
part of the bet. Well, I mean, now you're a cop is what's happening. Just, you are an officer of the law.
Somebody said I look like fucking Farva from fucking Super Troopers. And it harmed my ass. It harmed my
spirit. Do you own any aviators? Yes. Oh, shit. That's my sunglasses. Okay. Well, then,
yeah. This is a problem. Yeah, man. Like, our interaction.
might get a little bit stiff, you know, depending.
I'm not worried about it.
Yeah, you shouldn't be.
Yeah, that's correct.
That's the way this works, actually.
You know, boy.
Well, all right.
I don't know what the biggest difference is.
I'm so cold.
Cold.
Yeah.
I'm like, you know, you know that?
You know when you go outside and you put your hat on,
And you're like, oh, wow, that makes like an incredibly huge difference.
That's crazy.
Well, I took off my body's hat.
And now I'm cold inside.
Like when the dog shivers after a cut.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's funny because like I went to, I went to Barbara to just do the beard.
And like, I just showed a picture of like a beard that I wanted.
And the person had short hair to.
The dude kind of looked at me and he went like, he made like, he bugged out eyes and were like, top two.
And I was, no, no, no, no.
You're like, no, no, no.
You stay away from there.
That's fine.
Just down here.
Thank you.
You know.
But, yeah, I mean, I guess, you know, that, that, that, how long you think before you, I can already see stubble coming in there.
So you're going to.
Oh, yeah, dude.
This, this, this.
I'm going, in order to maintain this, I'm going to be making a second appointment to get it back down.
So that's the, is, the question is, are you going.
going to let the five o'clock come in, but keep it razor and greased up top? Are you going to be
keeping the top maintained? Yes, I'm going to be, in two weeks, I will shave down what
remain, what has managed to claw itself back. Because like, this is already coming through in,
in about a week, it'll be like, you know, that kind of gray, you know, but still very bald.
right and then after that like i'll be visibly having like red and it's like no no it has to be
it has to be egg and the order from on high was that the chops are staying so the order from on
high was that once all of this nonsense is over the chops are to return that that was that was my
instructions um it it it must be weird to experience a visceral
amount of face silhouette
changes in such a short period of time.
It's been a lot.
Yeah, that must actually do something
to your identity and your mirror.
I've gone through
some very extreme
like head, as you said,
head silhouette changes
in like two months.
And I remember, like I had this like with the purple.
I was like, the chops was like nothing.
Like, oh, right. Okay.
The purple, I was like, oh,
that's okay. And then I got used to it after about a week. And then after three weeks, I'm like,
I'm done with this. Right, right. Yeah. I am, I am, I am starting to get used to it,
like for real. And I don't like that. That's weird. I'm actually a lot more used to this,
because I mean, I've cut my hair short, but not this short. I feel like, I'll always remember the first time I put a
little bit of like color in my dress and I was like hyperventilating almost I was like oh my god I can't
believe I'm doing like this is so extreme why am I doing this I and it was a weird like oh fuck oh shit
did I fuck up is this horrible you know um and I feel like you know after a while it just means
nothing you know same thing for like piercings and so on but there's a little hint of that
every time a drastic change occurs so like I got to ask you so I the whole time you the whole
you've known me, I've been in some various state of male pattern baldness.
So, like, being precious about my hair has not been a factor.
Right, right, right.
If I were to do something dramatic like fucking go purple, I can shave the whole fucking
thing off and get back to where I was in three weeks.
Yeah.
Like, it's like that.
You can't do that.
I remember you, you went blondie dreads for a while.
Yeah, blue, you had green, yellow and all of it.
Okay.
So when you dye a dread, like, let's say you bleach it.
right? Yeah. How long
is it going to take
for that to revert back
to the original hair color?
So it doesn't...
You just grow the whole dread back out?
Yeah, it doesn't just
suddenly turn back to its original
hair color. Like you have... No, no, it fades.
You do have to... It does fade, but then it fades
to something that's like, like, just kind of dark
and muddy. So you have to die back to black,
basically. Oh, man, that
is a lot of fucking work. Or
you could let the tips go out
like Ombra, you know, with people like
Like they do what you do with your hair.
And then you can more or less be like at a certain point in the dread, I'm okay with it changing.
But if I wanted to go back all black, you have to, you got to do that.
Okay.
So that's the context I needed because you're telling me you were freaking out when you were dying.
Because I was freaking out when I was dying my hair because that was dramatic.
Yeah.
That was a lot.
Yeah.
But I knew for a fact it wasn't permanent.
It wasn't even close to permanent.
And what I would say too is like what I used to do is I used to have just the tips.
And I'd mess around with those because I'm like,
cut them, you know, that's fine.
But whenever I did a full dread,
those were the ones where I'd be like,
oh, shit, oh, fuck, that's a big deal, you know?
Because it is.
And like, hope this particular one looks good in this color.
In this way, yeah, because those are,
those are permanent changes.
Those are permanent changes.
Whenever, whenever you do a full one, it's, that's it, you know?
But, uh, yeah, I, I, I, there is a, like,
I was surprised to learn, I guess, that, like, the, you know,
full on Michael Jordan like super shiny bald like is an upkeep process that's not that far from
doing regular trimming you know it takes work it is I'm gonna have visibly like red sheen on my
hair in like five days hmm is is is uh is the boy reacting to the face changes nothing
huh doesn't give a shit man because that I I paying
and him met me at the barber and I walked out and like hey buddy look at dead ass head and he
walked up and he went great and slapped me on the top of the head a couple times right and went
because I've been conditioned from seeing all these videos online where like dad comes home and he
shaved his beard and then the babies cry and they lose their minds right okay so that was my
family my dad you've met my dad yeah my dad has a mustache my dad is one of those guys that
was born with a mustache.
But every couple of years,
and I mean every couple of years,
he would go, ah, fuck it. And he'd shave his mustache.
And I'm like 100% convinced that he
fucked up trimming it. And
like, would be like, ah, shit,
I can't, I can't Charlie Chaplin this.
Got to start over, right?
And that would be like a family
emergency. My mom would be so
upset, like
real, like she'd be distraught.
And me and my brother
and sister would be like, oh, fucking
And like, depending on your age, like, that reaction is still like that's strong.
But I'm thinking back to even just the simplicity of my nephew that I, maybe like when he was like one year old, one and a half or so, like he was hanging out from, we were hanging out most of the day.
And at one point, I just kind of was messing around.
And I pulled my ponytail out and put the dread down in front.
and he freaked out and screamed and ran and like from his perspective it looked like a head crab
just suddenly descended onto my head like he couldn't understand the concept of the hairstyle
changing and what was happening and the silhouette was too much of a it was too much of a scary
change and all these black things were suddenly just going and it was nightmare you know and like
the way he screamed was like a real like okay uh kids let me make sure that like at least you know
with my girl, I'm like, I'm always showing her different versions and whatnot so that she's just
used to that idea of being like, no, that's how hairstyle and it changes.
Because the way that kid screamed was like, like, death was coming.
It was wild.
Yeah.
So I've clearly dodged that bullet with my guy because, like, you know, when he's won,
I shaved the beard off because it comes back in like a week, you know?
And then I, you know, this and that and now the purple, then the mutton chops, now this.
I don't think there's anything I could do to my appearance at this point that would phase him at all.
I would just become green dad or, you know, whatever the fuck.
That works. That's good because, you know, I mean, well, whatever.
We've discussed the idea of like, oh, what is what does dad do for work?
You're an internet clown. Okay.
Clown. Here, literally.
Literally internet clown.
Oh, I forgot that he saw all the clown stuff.
Yeah, he liked Violent J.
like clown. Nice.
Which is great. Good for him.
I mean, you know,
like the, these are
all clowns that are meant to intimidate more
than to entertain. So if he's rolling with
them, then... Much like all clowns.
I don't like clowns.
Yeah, well, I mean, I...
Do you have the fear? Do you have the phobia?
So, like, no.
But, like, I find them like a little unsettling.
They are. I guess, like, a little bit.
But, like, I've never looked
to the clown and been like, ooh, yay.
Yeah, right, ever.
I've just always been like, ah, fuck.
Like, it's not fear, more like distaste or apprehension.
Colrophobia.
Cowlrophobia.
Yeah.
That is, that is no, no.
That makes sense because they're not really, they're not settling when you look at them.
It's exaggerations in ways that are really weird.
Don't like it.
Yeah, like the, the, the, making the eyes look so big, making the face look so big.
And it's like too happy, you know?
Like it's all, it's very, very much.
I respect a sad clown more than a happy clown.
They're more honest about what's going on in clown shit.
Yeah, I feel like it's like, it's kind of like fear of heights in a way where it's like, not everyone is afraid of heights, but everyone should feel a bit like, well, that can kill me, so I don't like that.
I used to be so afraid of heights that thinking about being.
in a high place would
kill my ass
like the idea of standing
on top of a cliffside would make me
like woozy
and then I went to the CN Tower
and my brother and I kept daring
each other to jump up and down on the glass
and you did it
because we weren't pussies
yeah exactly fucking did it
and after that
because have you jumped up and down on the glass
no no oh it sucks
it's very scary yeah you know
you know who else wasn't a pussy?
That guy that shoulder checked the fucking glass
teaching his students.
That's right. That's right.
How unbreakable it was.
You know, the guy that fucking,
he urean shoulder tackled the glass on the 80th floor every morning
to show those kids just how unbreakable it was.
That worked out.
The glass didn't break.
It all came out in one piece, I believe.
Yeah, it all came out in one piece.
It was the fascinating.
to the wall that failed.
God.
Crush.
See, kids?
See?
Kill.
That's a great story.
That's a great story.
I love that story.
I just had that thing where I went up to my cousins
like super high up, whatever floor.
Like you're in the dozens of floors.
You're in the death drop.
It doesn't even matter how high we're at this point.
And I'm like, okay, like looking down, my stomach goes
and I'm like
I know this is not rational
I know that this should be something where
even four or five floors up
you should feel this way or so
but you kind of just I'm like
I'm gonna do that thing where I keep a little bit
of distance away just a little bit
and then I kind of realized after like
I would go I went out and exposed myself
a bit more to like you know
uncomfortable height edge situations
and then I also remember
when during
the like honeymoon and stuff with me and Punch Mom.
I remember in Quebec City I saw some people sitting on the ledge of like a bridge just being really irresponsible and legs dangling off to death type of thing just because you know they're the whimsy of it.
And I realize I'm like I it's not the action.
I have the fear of heights part is there but it's way way less pronounced than the fear of someone I don't trust behind me being.
stupid or or scaring me or pushing me off, right?
That means you should have a similar fear of standing too close to the edge of the metro.
Yes, exactly.
And so when there's the yellow line, yes, when the yellow line is there and people are standing
beyond it and the train is coming, I'm like, are you out of your mind?
Why are you so ignorant?
Why do you not care about this?
Why would you do?
Like, I just don't understand that.
And I realize it's the exact same thing.
I'm like, it's not the situation.
It's the people behind me potentially.
And not just for the sake of like, oh, that's a crazy person that's going to shove you, the person who's going to be an idiot and go, I'm going to pretend to shove you and freak you out.
And an accident might happen because people are equally as stupid in that scenario too.
It's that that the fear gets brought in from.
It's the same fear of that guy on the escalator could just turn around and stab me with a syringe and I would be not fast enough to stop them.
Sure.
Same exact thing.
Same exact thing.
But like, I'm thinking that there's something to the idea that like the subway slamer and the friend you have that's pretending to subway slam you are equally threatening.
It's a fine line.
I'm swinging full power on both, you know, for the record.
Like, it's not ha-ha.
It's we're fighting now.
Like, just that's it, man.
You know.
Yeah. Anyways, that's kind of the deal.
You're just like, I don't know if you trust who standing behind you or not, but you should feel the same way you do standing at the edge of a train as you do standing on a cliffside.
So I think the trick to be like, because a lot of people say they're not afraid of heights or they would not think they're afraid of heights.
And heights is a relative term, but it's also something that you don't actually have to deal with in like a huge variety of situations.
if you fly, yeah, you're going to have to deal with heights, right?
But you live in like, you know, Alberta, and you're not going to work at a skyscraper.
There's no heights to speak of.
There are no heights that you will encounter at any point.
If you're a rig pig and you do one of those like super high up station things, then you got one of those jobs.
So, yeah, that's the trick.
It's like, hey, go watch a video of somebody changing the light bulb on like an antenna.
and those POV fucking antenna like got to climb up the two mile tower to change the singular light bulb.
Yeah, to change that one light bulb.
Watch that.
And if your body doesn't go, oh, then you're fine.
You're not afraid of heights.
But mine does.
I look at those videos and I start to get dizzy, man.
That is very intense.
And also there's these like the Superman,
changing the oil rig
drill
videos that they have
where you're
you wrap the chain around
and you go
and you do the twist
and it's all
it's the most
manual labor ass
man hard band
that you've ever seen
but it's also
one of these things
where like
and they're working
super high up
like you're on a
little platform
that like yeah
if the wind blows a little bit
and it goes boop
that's you're all gone
that's it forever
and
like whenever I see those videos and and they're all greased up and doing that it's it's Superman at the beginning of man of steel you know on the boat type of thing it's that kind of energy but you're also like every time I see that there's always someone in the comments going hey so um I work on oil rigs in this in the modern day and anyone who does this is insane there's no reason to do it this dangerously anymore jumping over the wires and chains that can rip you and put to pieces to skip it it's just for filming on Instagram
and sticking on TikTok and getting the likes and whatnot.
Like anyone who's doing this officially should one be wearing a helmet,
two,
bright high-vis,
three,
tons of like keeping the work,
the area clean and not full of oil and all this stuff.
So the guy who's shirtless,
who's just got his hair blowing in the wind and is twisting it and looking all hot
and doing his whole bitter or whatever is just going to get everybody killed.
So they don't have a whole lot of life preservation about them anyway.
It reminds me of my father showing me safety.
techniques with like woodworking and stuff like that.
And then my dad would just not do any of the safety stuff.
He just showed me it was really important.
Yeah.
And he'd be like, oh, I don't need to do that.
I know what I'm doing.
And I'm like, dad, you are missing a bunch of little bits and pieces of your body.
You have, you, you, you electrified yourself fixing our VHS player.
You once thought that your harness was for pussies and just fell off a build site.
Oh, my God.
Like, you're super wrong.
You know, it's just, you see the, like, there's a whole collection of just like, whatever OSHA videos you can find online where it's like, all right, so here's the fact.
I love tradie TikTok, dude.
I love tradie TikTok.
So here's the super cool factory.
where the molten hot metal is coming out super fast
and a bunch of people at the end have to like grab it
and like flick it around quickly.
Oh, I literally saw that video yesterday.
Yeah, yeah, and then stick it through the next one, right?
And it's like they're all coordinated.
Yeah, and you're just like, wow, look at that.
Look at doing the hard labor and whatnot.
Okay, that's cool.
And then, of course, while they do that
and they skillfully get it in between the rollers,
you have the people walking by,
jumping over the death molten just to because, because walking like 15 steps that way to go
around it, fuck that.
Who's got time?
Step over the death trap that would get every one of us killed if you happen to trip up going over it.
If I had to pick a favorite trade of TikTok, it's OSHA, it's OSHA violations or OHHS and S violations.
just like just videos of like these guys are doing the stupidest it doesn't even save any time nonsense
and the other one is guys who post videos like a lot of welders and a lot of guys who do a lot of grinding
who post videos going hey you should wear your head protection and they post the profile shot of their face
and then they turn the camera and there's like a six inch like piece of rebar
through their welding mask
and stopping like two inches from their face.
Yeah, man.
I love the classics,
which is just pan up to scaffolding
on the side of a building,
pan down to the top of one of the major
weight load bearing points
on a bunch of wood planks.
Just loose wood, you know.
Or like a bag of unmixed concrete.
That's going to be,
used for something later.
So,
there was,
I saw two of these videos
in the same week
where a dude is
outside with a jackhammer
and he's just jackhammering
into concrete and
like just breaking it up and he's got
like, he's got a helmet on, he's got some goggles
and just going full breath
just like
Wimhoff
Wimhoff breathing in this.
You don't want street long or
concrete long or
Rung or Rookech
breathing into concrete.
And like the person who's filming it is like, yeah, so underneath they put the text going.
So I yelled out to the dude, hey, that's super dangerous.
You're giving yourself cancer.
You're supposed to have somebody to water down what you're breaking into.
And the dude's like, it's just dust.
It's fine.
Mind your business.
And then person goes to like the foreman of the site to go like, hey, everyone around this,
breathing that in is going to be seriously, like, life-threateningly in trouble if you don't do this
properly. And Foreman goes, it's just dust. It's fine. I've been doing this for 30 years.
What do you know? And it's like, okay. I know that you're not going to be doing it for 30 more.
Oh, my God. And it's just like, you see how much water they have to use to keep that shit down.
And even then when they breathe it in, it's kind of still risky at that. Dude's just like,
like,
give me all that concrete baby.
It's,
it's just,
for,
and you,
and you,
and you,
and you,
and you,
it's,
it's,
it's so easy.
It's just,
it's just,
like,
it takes no time,
but you,
but you,
bad news for you.
You can't be told
by someone that is a child,
that,
that you don't,
that you're,
you're,
you're,
you're,
you're,
you know,
and of course,
that's not a job site where that,
like,
what the fuck is insurance?
You know what I mean?
Like,
the whole the whole thing.
Wellie, I have bad news for you.
Yeah.
You are also, you are also a victim of the mentality that will cause this to happen.
The number one reason why these guys are doing it is because they don't want to look like a pussy.
Because no, you don't want to look like a bitch.
And I remember walking into rooster teeth and seeing a bunch of dudes just cattle prodding each other.
like idiots.
And they turned to us and my brain went,
well, I have to get hit with the cattle prod.
I'm meeting new people.
I don't want to be the only one not cattle prod.
And I took the hit first and I looked over at you and I saw the gears turning your head
where you don't want to be the only guy in the room that hasn't been tagged by the catabro.
And you went, yeah, all right.
And then they zapped you and then we all laughed about.
There's no escape from this type of like group think like social dynamic.
If it's good enough for Johnny Knoxville, then it's good enough for me, I suppose.
Because it was something that wouldn't, like, harm you.
Right.
It wasn't like, let's jump over an alligator pit.
Hey, hey, you're the promising billion subs YouTube future requires you to put the pot on your head and do the Homer versus Bart.
Oh, right?
Just put the pot on your head.
It'll be fine.
and then it'll all pay off, you know?
Anyway, I also feel like there was the game where you have to jump from one table to the other.
I forgot what that was called, but there was one of those things where they would be like, oh, the floor is lava type of thing.
And, you know, and I'm kind of just thinking, I'm like, one bad trip into the edge of a table underneath the jaw right here.
And that's an internal decapitation.
like that's that shit
and that's a freebie
I slipped
coming out of the shower like a couple
months ago in like an awkward
way and like
caught myself and like banged
my arm on like the corner
of like you know the
the vanity
and it hurt really bad
and then I like ran
I like left my body to like examine
like what this would have looked like
and I'm like man if I had been
like a little slower or turn 10 degrees more.
I'm gonna hit like my fucking neck or my fucking head on this.
And then I'd be dead on my bathroom floor from an oopsie,
oopsie fall.
That's it.
That's all it takes.
Yep.
And I mean, like I went a bit overboard with looking around the house and thinking about
like, okay, what do we have to put the safety stuff on?
Because there's a bunch in here.
And we've got some time before she's going to be crawling around and even
getting mobile. Don't worry.
She'll find the one you missed.
But there's always, there's always
a crevice somewhere
in some way, shape, or form.
You know what one we missed? I'll just tell you
right now, there's going to be a point
and this point will sneak up on you
where when you go to open the fridge,
they're now tall enough
to get smacked by the fridge door.
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
So instead of opening up
the fridge door and it goes right over their head,
and you're like, hey, buddy, you're going to hear a noise,
and then you're going to hear a deep inhale,
and then you're going to hear, eh!
I mean, there's one that I caught,
there's one that I caught looking at it, that I'm like,
you know, this would have been like an easy miss,
but the bathrooms I have are barn doors,
but the bottom track doesn't really keep it in place.
The bottom track kind of is loose.
So I'm like, that's a nice little squeezable situation right there
if you feel like getting in between it,
you know, but then how do you keep it from doing that?
And it's like, oh, well, you can put a metal thing to keep it in place up top.
But then that's now a metal thing that if someone's running a little bit too ignorantly can just hit their head into.
So do you put a threat to protect against another threat?
Anyways.
So, hey, here's, hey.
All the parents that are friends in life that I've seen, to some degree, have kind of given up.
on it and just kind of go.
You baby proof the really dangerous stuff.
Exactly.
You do your best and then, you know, the rest fucking dual one, let's rock, you know?
So here's the problem.
The problem is that your child doesn't have a good grasp of physics until they're like 15.
And I've seen my little guy catch a door corner.
Wasn't close enough to the center of the doorway going through and just.
caught it, just right with his face.
I've just like,
just screwed up the distances.
Like,
like zero children have a concept of,
of any physics or gravity until they're like 15.
I watched like a nine-year-old do like five,
eight,
nine hundredths in front of Tony Hawk the other day.
And it's like,
yeah,
even that child does not understand physics.
Like,
none of them do.
It's tough,
man.
It's like your body proprioception is difficult.
and like they don't know how big their heads are
so they go to walk under things that they used to be able to walk under
but they can't.
So they can't. The bongk.
Like there's really, really genuinely only so much you can possibly do.
So it's a teaching moment.
I also remember like that initial,
when I was first trying out skateboarding
and I was like, oh man, this seems so dangerous.
you're going to fall, you're going to get scraped up.
So many things can go wrong.
And I remember kind of realizing after the first couple falls that it's like, oh, yeah, it hurts
because you get scraped, but you get used to the overall how to fall thing.
And then you know how to like flatten your weight out to not take the worst of it and slam your head into concrete.
But also, like, the complexities of falling with or on a bicycle are so much more dangerous
because of all the bars and rotating parts and things you can get caught up in.
versus just a flat board that like you've already been doing the way more dangerous thing your whole life with a bicycle.
This is nothing by comparison.
Did me and Paige ever tell you the story of her learning to ride a bike?
No, I don't think so.
So this caused us to almost crash the car when she told me this story.
So Paige would get so freaked out and terrified when she was learning to ride a bike.
that once it got wobbly
she would panic
and her brain would just go
I have to get out of here
so her mom was like teaching her
how to ride the bike
and once that first wobble happened
she'd go oh and like leap off the bike
onto the pavement
and she'd go oh!
Yeah okay
I so I did that with skating
with skis
like oh yeah
I've told this before right
because it was like the first time I went
with the class on a ski trip
and everyone had skied many times before.
I'd never skied,
so I had to go to the Bunny Hill
and learn how to do, you know, pizza French fries.
Pisa fries.
It's hard.
It's very hard.
And it's a...
I don't like how people who ski take for granted
that skiing is hard.
Skiing is quite hard and take however difficult you think it is.
And let's amplify that because let's say by default,
when your feet are facing forward, right?
So let's say this is your feet.
Where are your knees facing?
Forward as well, right?
And so you do this and then you go outward and then you go inward to speed up and slow down.
Okay.
My feet are not like that.
So when my feet are facing forward, my knees are facing inward because my feet are weird.
I have a fucked up thing with my legs where they, my knees.
I have not know that.
Yeah, that's been the case of my whole life.
You got bendy legs?
I got a weird bendy leg and it means that when I got clipped in the knees playing football,
my shit took a while to heal
and I got fucked up
because my knees are
not in a normal position
so...
So wait, wait,
they were fucked up
before you got hit?
Yeah,
they were always like that,
right?
My knees,
I have something where
it's way easier
for me to make both of my feet
face toes in touching each other
Oh, I literally can't even do that.
Right?
Yeah,
then it is to go the opposite way.
It's just my...
Yeah, I can't do it.
It crushes my balls.
No, it's not happening.
So I have,
I have just a weird natural
rotation to my knees.
So what's,
that means is when it comes time to speed up and do the pizza, easy, no problem. I can cross those
skis over each other. But when it comes time to French fry and slow down, good fucking luck. I can't.
That's crazy. I have a really hard time getting out to the 45 degrees, much less any further than
that, right? So that means skiing is really rough, and I have a hard time all day getting through the
process. And it basically, after a full day of trying and failing at it, there was a point where it's like,
okay well you paid all this money to go on the trip so are you not going to go up the mountain
even once to try so yeah let me go up i guess and try and see what happens but i have no
ability to slow down like everybody else does all i can do is speed up you'll manage so cut to me
going full speed because my my i'm in pizza form and just zipping down and i'm i'm going way too
fast now i can't stop we're hitting a bank to a turn and that's a death tree in front of me
So all I can do because I can't hit the brakes is literally toss myself onto the ground and bail out and just completely wipe in each shit and then get back up and then do the next segment of Mountain and then up I'm going too fast. I can't slow down. Throw myself on the ground multiple times until eventually.
Think about how cool you would have been if you had just gone max speed the whole time and then die.
And then die.
Right. Exactly. I could have been the coolest kid. But instead, and my friends would have loved it.
But instead what happened was I kept throwing myself on the ground.
And eventually that sucked enough.
And my whole suit was full of snow when I was cold.
And I was like, this sucks.
I hate this.
I want to get out of here.
So I got basically down to like the halfway point and sat on my skis and just had to scoot down the mountain.
And as I'm scooting down the mountain, fucking Stefan, the loud mouth is on the ski lift with all the other kids going back up going.
as I'm scooting
and I'm just hearing the echo of the voice of them going up the mountain
and fucking Stefan going
Ah look at him! Look at him!
And everyone's like, what?
Oh my God! Look at him going!
Shut up! Shut up!
And I'm scooting down the mountain and fuck that.
That's the end of my skiing adventure.
Never again.
Yeah.
You had no shot, man.
It's done.
You had a physical handicap that prevented the proper execution of the skiing.
And the Nelson of the class, the loudest kid was the one to point it out to see first.
They're always around from the from the ski lift at the exact same time.
So there you go.
That fuck that.
Fuck that.
Snowboarding, absolutely super cool.
You know, because it's basically like skateboarding and you don't have to do any of that neat shit.
It's just surfing skateboarding.
I never I got on a skateboard one time
I got on a skateboard
My last day of high school
I was
I went to a friend of mine's house
And he had a skateboard
He's like hey why don't you try it
I'm like well I just finished all my exams
And I'm now officially not a high schooler anymore
Ah fuck it why not
I'll try it
I don't have a lot of confidence here but I'll try it
And I took one step on it
and it flew right out under my feet and I like landed directly on my hip and like sprained my
ass and then it had to walk like three kilometers home and I was like no I'm I'm dumb with that
yeah but don't but yeah but but didn't you hear the cool like Tony Hawk soundtrack in
in your in the back of your head been for like an hour it fucking sucked but you didn't think to
yourself oh man but I can totally like now like I can do all those cool
like Tony Hawk moves and get that soundtrack going.
I could not manage to even stand on the board.
This was not made for me.
Damn.
You just got to,
you gotta hear the,
so here I am getting older all the time.
While you bust your lip open.
I felt getting older.
Yes.
As I'm limping through my neighborhood.
Younger in my mind.
100%.
Um,
yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well,
in any case,
um,
that,
that,
that's,
that's,
you just,
It is infinitely more dangerous.
And then the other thing, too, that I remember as well is when it comes to bikes, there was a, there was someone not in my neighborhood, but near the school I went to.
There was like a girl that got hit and unfortunately died from like a crash.
But I remember that the description was about how the handlebars turned sideways and it was just awful, you know?
I'm just like, this bike can be so much worse of a death trap.
So to a parent or a mom that's kind of just like skateboards.
are so much more dangerous.
It's like,
yeah,
if you're,
if you're comfortable with a bicycle,
like,
I,
I disagree.
A skateboard is way more dangerous.
You can get,
you can get way higher speeds
and much better control on a bicycle.
The thing is,
the things that you're,
that people do on a skateboard
tend to be pretty dangerous.
Like,
you're,
because you're supposed to do cool tricks and stuff,
right?
On a bicycle,
it's mainly about the transportation,
admittedly.
Here's the thing,
though,
you,
when you're on your skateboard,
you're not,
actually physically holding on to the skateboard. No, no, you're balancing. When you're on your
bicycle, you are in fact holding on to the bicycle. There is a very significant difference in
inertia when something attempts to remove you from your form of transit. I would say so. Be it force or
wind or ice. And I guess the context also matters to because like if you're you're biking in traffic
with other vehicles and stuff versus if you're skating
if you're skating in traffic you're insane first of all so no
but I was my friends and I were never skating in that context
we were in parking lots and in going to you know like skate parks and shit like that
so it was also like removed from the like the transportation side of things
which I have some friends that would longboard to get around you know they kind of like
jump on oh I hope bad things happen to them they would they would hit the bike trails and
stuff it was it was fine ultimately I had friends back and that just came out yeah I
know that's a pretty I don't know why because back in like some of the people that from
uh Dawson from the college era you know would long board around is just the means of getting
around it was it was fine you know ultimately but for those of you who don't uh watch the video
version of this show I am just closing my eyes and squint and just shaking my head and a grimace
just like no it's fine no it's long board's no no you hit a bike path you're good you know
Bike paths are for cyclists.
And people on motorized vehicles or people on wheel vehicles and things like that.
You know, it's fine.
But, um,
board isn't a vehicle.
It's a fucking piece of cardboard with some wheels stuck to it.
In,
in any,
in any case,
in any case,
I do feel that like,
um,
that when you are on your bike with your friends getting up to some stupid shit,
and get hurting yourself, you know, like it is, the ways you could hurt yourself are amplified by,
based on the type of vehicle versus like the skateboard thing.
Kind of like jumping into a shopping cart, right?
A shopping cart's going to murder you, but mainly because a shopping cart is not meant for a human being to be in it.
So those wheels are absolute dog shit, you know, the bearings are terrible.
They're always ungreased.
There's always one that's rickety and about to fall off.
And then the rest of that shit is going to just fall on top.
of you and, you know, if you're lucky like me, you get a big scar right in the middle of your forehead
from it.
Cool.
All my big scars are hidden.
No skull.
In my hair, in my hair line.
No skull dense.
Oh, I got, yeah, I got some skull dance.
Okay.
Because, yeah, those are permanent.
Those stay.
Yeah.
Like, so people are pointing out that I have like a really dramatic headphone dent, but then I took
out like a much closer look and it's not even.
It's actually way.
deeper on one side and I'm like oh I think that's like old damage you mean like you mean like the
side curves yeah so like you know that you know the the the the goes from like your temples
to the top of your head or whatever right uh like it's way deeper on one side I'm like ooh I think
I think that's like a hit I took at some point actually that I just ignored the jelly bean
the jelly bean curve hmm yeah oopsie okay okay oh well
How's your week?
So I woke up a couple days ago and took my toddler downstairs and I was like,
hey, how are you doing, buddy?
He's like, good.
Nice.
And I'm like, oh, this is going to be so sick.
Fuck yeah.
And by this, I mean me.
So the child is ill.
And he's doing that cool version of toddler illness where he's actually completely fine.
Okay.
Other than the fact that he's exploits.
with disease.
And everybody else is getting it.
Yeah, there you go.
Page is starting to get sick.
And the way that it works in my family is the toddler gets sick.
Page starts to get sick.
Toddler gets better.
Page is in the worst of it.
Now it's time for me to get sick.
Yeah.
I'm always last.
It's got to cook.
It's got a cook in the chamber.
And so what this leads to invariably is during like times when no one's doing a chore,
no one's working, when Paige is in the throes of it, like, you know, like fighting her demons.
Oh, man. The child is now completely fine. Yep. And I'm starting to fight my demons.
Yeah, because you would probably be fine immune system wise, but you take that disease, throw that
some bitch in the lupus chamber, let it cook for a minute. I got to tell you,
and spit it back out. I got to tell you, fucking stoked. We all got our COVID and flu shots like two
weeks ago.
Yeah.
Like couldn't be more stoked.
Apparently the,
uh,
apparently the flu this year fucking sucks shit.
Um,
very happy with that.
So,
uh,
that's a,
that's a work in progress.
Okay.
That's who,
who can see.
It's dude.
And he's doing that toddler cough with the tongue
all the way out and like curved to like really expel the
most amount of coughing.
Getting,
getting maximum
yeah
yeah and then we got to have
the parents conversation
which I'm sure you'll have
with Punch Mom
where they're like
he's like asking
to go to like
the the you know
the activity gym
or right right right
yeah the super spreader event
he is he is like coughing his ass off
like it's quite quite common
right he's yeah
we're not going to get through a two hour period
without him coughing all over somebody
should we take
take him. And it's, you don't want to be the parent who takes their child and takes the sick
child and makes everybody else sick. On the other hand, that is a parent, we are apparently
the only parents in the world that even have that discussion at all because every single other
fucking parent brings their fucking sick children. And there's something special to about the
toddler cough that is like, it is the most idyllic. When you think of like what a virus
wet dream is for like the type of cough it wants a person to admit it's the toddlers like
nothing blocking yeah that's the one zero like attempt to dodge it i'm just going to do
whatever i'm doing except open my mouth and project disease in whichever way i'm facing oh ha
you know yeah full send the full send toddler cough is just so so obviously the end result was
you know, we're staying home for a week, two weeks, whatever it is.
But, because, you know, get a mask on a toddler, like, fucking good.
Yeah.
But, like, there's this added level of frustration where it's like, you start to catalog
the people in your neighborhood and the places that you go that don't give a shit.
And you start to figure out, like, there's only, like 10 families that are, like, at risk for the reasons that my family
get sick.
Yeah.
Right?
And you see them and you get to know them and you get to just fucking sieve.
I mean, well, so again, and I'm assuming not counting the ones who are like having their
full on cough parties that are just like, no, good actually.
Yes, bring it all in.
Let's just look at each other and just go.
Yeah.
You know, so anyway.
So that's, that's, that's, that's been fun.
I also played some games and I watched a live awards program.
The Golden Joysticks happened this week.
It did.
It sure did.
I was waiting to see if Paige would react to being called a hyperbolic lupus chamber, but it seems...
I think she might actually be busy taking care of our child.
Okay, that's fair.
All right.
Just checking.
It's possible.
Okay.
She'll get to you.
All right.
So,
um,
the golden joysticks,
uh,
you remember a couple,
I don't know it was last year or the year before,
but where like Troy Baker was like visibly drunk on stage.
Um,
and it was just really shitting it up.
Um,
I,
these things all blend together in my brain,
but I remember this being just a absolute waste of time was the,
was,
uh,
how the previous iterations of it went.
Well,
Wully, it's only a waste of time
depending on your perspective.
Do you want to see a cool
award show that respects the work of
video game developers and also
puts on a decent show? Yes,
that is a colossal waste
of fucking time. One of the biggest
wastes of time ever.
However, do you kind of miss
E3 presentations
from Konami and Sega?
if so
and some people
I just realized
that's like
10 15 years old
if you kind of miss that
you can watch
the golden joysticks
I was I was talking
with Paige about this
like I
I personally believe
she thinks that Troy Baker
drunk one was worse
I think this is the worst
year they've ever done
I think this is the worst
show they've ever done
so
so I guess
you just have to then, based on what you're saying,
it's really just, it's content farming, right?
It's put,
we know how bad this is,
so we're putting this out so you can live react
and create content from it.
Well, they,
Golden Joysticks contacted me personally
through my business email.
I was like, hey, do you really want to co-stream it?
I'm like, I was gonna.
I'm like, do you want to join the Discord?
No.
No.
I'm just gonna cover.
What the,
Fuck.
Anyway, so to start, I don't know if you're familiar with Maggie Robertson.
She's the lady who played Lamy Dimitresk in Resident Evil Village.
Cool.
She also co-hosted, I think it was the Future Games show with David Hater last year.
Okay.
They should not ask her to do these.
Hmm.
Hmm.
They should, they should, they should not.
Just not, uh, not cut for the hosting.
Um, I see people in our live chat saying she was trying her best and other people going, no, no she's not.
Okay. Um, are we, are we hitting Aisha Tyler? Are we talking girlwood?
Oh, this is much, much worse. Are we?
Tyler.
So here's here's the main problem.
Okay.
Here's the big problem.
Aisha Tyler was given dog shit to read.
Correct.
But is like effortlessly charming.
Yeah.
No.
She was that she was given a prompter of trash.
Maggie Robertson was giving,
given like super dog shit to read.
And also is just straight up
not cut out to host one of these shows.
In particular,
she wandered away
like she'd finished the thing and like walk off stage
so they could present and then she would forget
that she was presenting and have to like visibly
sprint back to the podium
okay that happened like four times
okay okay yeah um
and then at one point her teleprompter
just straight up broke
and she had to vamp
which people who don't know vamping is just like
just stall for time stall for time
And it was, it was fucking dire.
It was pretty bad.
But to be fair, to be very, very fair to Maggie Robertson, she was by no means the worst part of the television program.
The program itself was a slapdash piece of shit.
one of the worst ever
I've ever seen
and it's with our friend and my
your friend and mine
catastrophic audio problems
ah yes
my old friend
now is there at least
new announcements to
pad
some of this
three trailers for
survival co-op games on Steam
you know that game
that game that comes out every two months
Mm-hmm. Yeah, there were a couple of those with that.
Was there a hot...
It was primarily award-based.
Okay.
Was there a hot new super zoomed-out phone game with Xbox 360 particle effects and some sort of vague fantasy setting?
I don't think so.
No?
Okay.
No, it was primarily about the awards.
And I can't, I wish, if you were the person who said this first, it was a YouTube comment, but I'll never be able to find it now.
right. I'm trying to look for it now.
Basically they said,
oh, this, I found it.
This was a comment on my video, my upload of the Vod,
from Cast Form 57, three days ago.
The Golden Joysticks is such a brilliant format.
Have all the developers, etc. there to have dinner and drinks,
and over the course of the show,
they become increasingly drunk and less interested in the show.
It seems like the audio production people pre-gamed a bit too hard
and were sloshed before the show even started.
As this person describes, every single year, as the show goes on and people whose categories are over are like, well, I'm not going to have to go up, so I'm going to just eat my dinner and drink.
They just get louder and louder and louder and louder.
And every single year, someone has to go, hey, we're doing awards up.
Can you all be quiet and disrespectful?
Like a high school auditorium.
And do we hear like fadess in the background being like, fuck you!
It also says a lot that there are like a fair number of winners of nominations that just didn't go to the event at all.
Sure.
Sure.
No, no, no.
The other thing is that like I'm getting a little lost in like there's a bunch.
It's award show season, right?
So.
That's right.
Because there's the golden joysticks.
There's the TGA's called the TGA's.
There's the streamer awards.
and
not the Oscars.
Well, no,
no,
was that it?
Whatever.
The one that just snubbed
Expedition 33.
The Grammys.
You know,
getting into video games as well and stuff.
So yeah,
there's a lot of this
kind of overlapping in my brain
and I have not heard
a single good thing about any one of them.
I just got sent the wrong email from somebody.
Uh-huh.
I got screenshot this.
Uh-huh.
I guess,
I gotta send this to you.
I just somebody just sent me the wrong email.
Uh, that, that,
yeah.
Hundreds of codes.
Yeah.
For a Nintendo Switch game.
That's not for you.
That was clearly not supposed to be sent to me.
That's unfortunate.
That's rough.
Okay.
Dude.
Uh, okay.
Oh no.
Well.
You know
We can
We can do the right thing here
And just
I'm going to email them back
And like I don't think you meant to send this to me
Damn
Like there are pages and pages
And pages
I see yeah that's ridiculous
That's kind of crazy
Okay
Um
Anyway
It's award season
Golden Joysticks is purely fan voted
It's a hundred percent fan voted
That's why it purports to be the most
legitimate one, right?
Sure.
Because the Grammys are the Grammy organization and the TGAs are critics and like a little bit of fan voting.
Yeah.
But Golden Joysticks is 100% fan voting.
Ah, okay, okay.
So on, okay, because, okay, because it's the Golden Globes.
Yeah, yeah, because the, the, I believe that's why it's called the Golden Joysticks, actually.
The Academy is 100% slurp.
Yeah.
And then each step down from that is different degrees of slurp, but, but yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
So, um,
you know, Maggie, I keep getting her name, I keep calling her Robinson, but it's not.
Lady D. Robertson. Lady D. She's not doing a great job, but she's trying, right?
We then cut to, and I'm trying to find the name of the band.
Susie, you should totally launch the Golden Sphere Awards.
That's way better, yeah. Do it.
Where are they?
I want a nice...
Does anybody remember the name of the band that was there?
Was the something experience?
I'm seeing a nice golden statue of like,
just a chair from the front seat of a car,
like laid flat with a Susie in it
as the little golden statue.
Perfect.
I can't actually find them.
That's weird.
Anyway, regardless...
You want an orbie.
They brought out a lady band
that was going to do.
a song right at the beginning
and I'm like
that's fucking weird but okay
and
the live audio
the live live
band decides to do a cover
of golden
from K-pop demon hunters
which
is then later explained afterwards
despite having nothing to do with video games
at all
because the golden joy
yeah it's the golden joystick
um
so they set up to do
what I was to assume would have been a pretty good cover of Golden,
which is an incredibly difficult song to sing, regardless.
And the lead singer squares up, starts singing,
and then I caught the exact moment.
I screenshot it and put up on Blue Sky that she realized her microphone had not been turned on.
Oh, no.
Oh, God damn it.
The band is called Sonaris Ensemble.
Oh, brutal.
So the mixing on every instrument and also...
No.
Her microphone was just off.
It was off.
And she wasn't pulling a lotus juice where it was totally on, but she was just like,
I fuck up the lyrics.
Oh, this mic ain't working.
Hello?
What's going on?
Like, she starts singing and there's nothing.
Fuck.
Like, you can see her singing.
There is nothing.
And you got to really, yeah, you got to pull it out for that song, too.
like you're hitting those octaves. Yeah, you do, right?
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, yeah, you're going.
And then halfway through, uh, Maggie Robertson just jumps onto the stage with a different microphone and a roomy jacket on to join in.
And I'm like, what the, what the fuck has happened?
What, what the actual fuck is happening?
Okay. It's one of these. Yeah.
Um, at, uh, and then we got to do the awards, which the awards part was like fairly normal.
people won their awards and they gave their little speeches and they were very happy to
be there and they were very proud to get it and they should be.
But what we got to see is that
either the microphone they gave to Robertson
was too sensitive or they had actually miced the crowd for like reactions.
So what we kept having is every time there was like a video on the screen or like you
developers that couldn't be there and you know they'd send a video package instead of direct feed
audio from that what we would get is the room audio so we would get the microphone that was in the
crowd hot hot crowd the video presentation okay so it was like inaudible yeah crowd noise and
sounded like garbage okay okay um and it took it was a two-hour show it took an hour and 40 minutes
for them to turn the knob to direct feed,
and then they immediately broke it and turned it back to the crowd.
Like it was just a complete mess the whole way around.
Nice, nice, nice, nice, yes.
In good news, they have a much smarter best performance category
in that they have a more Oscar-like category for voice acting and mocap performance.
And that is best supporting performance and best performance.
which meant that at the Golden Joysticks,
Jen and Ben both got to win their performance awards.
What was it before?
So,
what was it before?
What was it before versus what is it now?
So at Golden Joysticks,
they have best supporting and best actor, essentially.
Okay.
Whereas at the Game Awards,
it's just best performance.
Okay.
So Ben and Jen got to win both of their awards.
Gotcha.
Is this why Charlie Cox was talking about why
the like he's like I shouldn't be getting the award for this it should be the mocap
well that's that's for the the game awards okay okay um because um charles mr cox
continues to not know what a video game is and would feel bad that he would win well because
he's like I did like one day's work or whatever you know what I mean like his whole thing is
just like he's like yeah it's cool but I b you know I just I showed up I did the thing I was out of
there now everyone's pat me on the back and I'm like really
In a in a sea of of just charmless, gormless fucking trash, Ben Starr presented an award and was just bursting with charm and humor and handsomeness and completely stole the fucking show.
And then when Jen went and got her award, similarly so she was like jumping up and down with joy and yelling about how gay she is and how that how she's channeling all.
of her queer love into her work and all that good stuff.
What a disaster.
I feel like charming voice actors are like the industry mascots, like, taking over.
In a time of a million shitty stories and everything's sucking with it, it's awesome to have bits like Ben and Alex Lay and just all these really super fun charming voice actors leading into it.
doing the thing and just
Yeah, so
becoming the...
Sorry, I have to you.
No, no, no, no.
Just anyway, everyone's like, yeah,
that, this is good.
Please, more of this.
Love it.
So, Ben came up to present the awards
with a giant Bellatro card
cut out around his head.
Excellent.
And gave a speech
about becoming an actor
and how crippling
complete freedom is
because no one tells you no,
even when it's a clearly
rubbish idea.
and so you end up floating god-awful ideas and everyone around you goes,
great, let's go measure your head for the card, Ben, cool one.
And you just become totally trapped in your own silly nightmare.
Genuinely, great bit, the only funny bit of the whole time.
And then we, you know, the event continued as a complete technical disaster.
they had the executive producer of the show give an award,
which I was astonished because we're an hour in
and the place was like doing everything but burned down.
And then Jim Jarvis gets up on stage and goes,
I'm the executive producer of the golden joysticks.
And I'm like, I would never tell anyone.
Thanks for putting a name and a face to it.
It's crazy, crazy.
And it's the specific role.
too, right? Executive producer.
Oh, this is you.
All of this. Hell yeah.
Real bold. Nice.
It's good.
And then they
Sonaris
did a medley of the
Ultimate Game of the Year nominations
which the production ruined.
Mixing.
All things considered, probably
a pretty good medley.
They didn't used to do that.
I think the event is actually covering, like copying the game.
TGA.
Yeah.
Because I don't remember them doing that in the past.
But the medley was, would have been good, if not for two things.
One, they're doing a medley of like a wide variety of musical styles, but the sonarist's ensemble is like five players.
Like they do not have, like they had a lead singer, two guitarists, a key.
keyboard and something else didn't have any horns didn't have i don't think i didn't see a drum kit up
there like like not enough for a medley uh oh it's only four okay so it was two guitar one singer and a
keyboardist um oh violin my mistake okay but not enough so they went for this they went for the tga thing
but like had to kind right yeah and it's like i feel bad for them because like what are they supposed to
do they don't have a drum kit up there and they're trying to do this no flute man so
And so for, no, no, no, no.
And so for example, they did like a song from Silent Hill F.
And the song from Silent Hill F, I legit couldn't recognize it, couldn't tell what it was.
Oh, geez.
Because Silent Hill F soundtrack is made with exclusively traditional Japanese instruments of which there were zero.
Yeah, no Shami.
And, like, legitimately could not, like, figure it out.
But on top of that, the absolute kicker.
You know when the game awards does their big medley
And they'll switch into a game and they'll do the transition
Oh, Kami, three
They'll get a big title on the screen
And then the footage and it flows really nicely
You know it'll be way better
If during the part where the singer is doing the vocal transition
From one song to the next
You have somebody go
Claire Obscure Expedition 33
Oh, boo.
Oh, that's so lame.
Come on.
Dude, just, I felt so bad for them.
Oh, fuck.
You can't even let it speak for itself.
Yeah.
Felt so bad for them.
Just God awful.
I, I, it's terrible.
Yeah, Susie's even here.
It's terrible.
Well, God awful.
You got a name in a face now.
And I know.
I know in my heart
that Sonaris Ensemble
is also not happy with how that performance went
and how they were set up to fail.
Right.
Because they showed up in the comments
of my 6,000 view Vod.
Wow. Wow. Holy shit.
Okay. Yeah.
That's that sucks.
That is the behavior of someone going golden joysticks.
God fucking damn it.
Let's just go through it.
and right
it's like they absolutely
did the best with what they could
and when it's hard to do a good show
when someone's talking over you
and your instruments aren't plugged in man
and like the discipline of
setting up you know mics and everything
and being an audio engineer
for a live production award show
versus live instruments
and such is like it's a different thing
you need different people
It's a whole other beast, you know?
And if they're barely getting the mics working during the rest of the show,
you think the fucking music is going to work out any better?
Like, yeah, that's...
Yeah, no, this was god-awful.
Very, very terrible to watch.
Great watch.
So glad I watched it.
So I hate so much that I watched it.
What a good use of my time for real,
but also sarcastic.
and nothing of value was lost.
And I remember, because I was talking with people on social media the day before,
and people were just like, we go through this period of complaining about the game awards
and how corporate and stacked and how the nominations are all rigged
and how the indie category for the game awards is like the most fucked up thing you've ever seen
and how bad Jeff Keely sucks.
And I'm watching this thing and I'm like, well, Jeff's fucking.
microphone is turned on when I watch the game.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Like, this is my fucking, this is my fucking alternative.
It's, eh, whatever.
I'm, I'm, I'm exhausted of my own takes and such, but I'm like, I could be comfortable.
I hate that.
I know exactly what you mean.
Right?
You're like, my own take is exhausting.
I'm pre.
I'm exactly what you mean.
I'm pre.
I'm.
pre-tired. I'm pre-tired before I even say it. But like, if we lived in a world where each of these
studios just put out a little video with them holding their thing going, hey, thanks. We, you know,
everyone for the award and for the, we got the category, this is what we got for the award for the game.
And they just put out their own message and there didn't have to be any of this fucking clown
shoes event to begin with. You know, I wouldn't care. It'd be great. Let the, let the people that
did the cool thing get the recognition and and none of this colossal embarrassing fucking
well the idea fart carnival the idea is like at a at a like a ideological level is that people
who work in the game's business are inherently just as creative as people who work in the music
or film or TV businesses and they feel and I think this is like a like a fair like emotion they
feel that they should probably get the same kind of, like, recognition and, like, like,
pomp and circumstance that you get a movie. Like every other big, like every other big medium gets,
and a reason to dress up in a tux and, yeah. You can number crunch it or whatever the fuck,
but like, you know, every single fucking year at the Oscars, some piece of shit that no one
ever saw wins some fucking award. And everybody goes, huh? And you're at home doing the audio
design for Silent Hill F, which is fucking immaculate. I imagine you're sitting there. I fucking deserve it.
award more than that.
And you're watching, like, Denzel with his tucks holding up the Oscar going like,
and you're like, oh, yes, yes, there's a prestige that this medium gets that others don't.
I think Ben and Jen deserve to stand at a podium and fucking hold up an award.
But then there's just all the bullshit, though.
But there's always the bullshit.
And every 12 months, we got to fucking go look at the bullshit and go, why is it all bullshit?
you know it's just it's just tiring every time i think it's actually really funny because every time
we do this i i end up it ends up being this thing of like it should be better and then i then i
always go better like what and then they name any other award show and i go that one is actually
way more fucked up than you think it is it's just older and has old media appeal and and and
whatever it's like well they should have they should have like a huge amount of voters like the
Oscars. They should have like 14,000 people that vote the Oscars. And yes, I know that for literally
fucking 90 to 100 years, none of those people were actually even required to watch the movies
they voted on. But like, isn't that better? I get like, I'm just, it's just because it's
like there's a thing that happens, because you are completely correct that the people who do
these super sick things deserve recognition for that and deserve to have a night for that as
well, you know, but then there's just the kind of thing of like, a thing that no one actually
gave a fuck about can come out of nowhere and then just either, just cause shit stirring for no
reason or be like, like the shitty production is one side of it. The discourse is another, you know,
and like when you have shitware, um, so what's been happening simultaneous to like all this is
like, uh, Lily Pichu and the streamer awards bullshit and a bunch of shitty FGC gatekeeping.
I don't even know that one.
I mean, it's not even worth it.
But the long story short is that even that say jam is like, you know, people are giving
Lily Peach you shit for being like not FGC enough despite having done super awesome things
and bringing a lot of people in and whatnot.
And a lot of people that have done nothing in their times being a part of the community
are upset at like because they want to do the gatekeeping thing and be like this person
is not hardcore enough.
They're not reaching an audience that is more enough like,
yada yada, you're not valid, you're not the person that should be getting fighting game streamer
awards or whatever. And it's just like this, this complete nonsense bullshit that comes up where it's like,
like none of this conversation, none of this mattered a second ago. And then now that it's,
it's just, it's like a NG media stuff is real crabs in a bucket shit. Yeah. So it's net,
it's net toxic, you know, and I'm kind of like, oh, I just, I hate that this comes out of
nowhere for no reason, you know. Um, and, uh, it would be nice if like there were a way to just,
just cut the cancer out and let the people who deserve the recognition get it, but I, I don't
know how to do that. I also don't watch or really care that much about it, these things as a
whole, you know? Yeah, here's the other problem, right? You think about the Oscars and the
Academy and all of. That's like a self-sustaining
rich persons fucking pat
yourself on the back show.
Games don't have
that level of cachet. So what are you
got to do? You have to
also turn it into E3.
Yes, you got to reveal big
things and get people
tuning in for a reveal. Yeah. People only watch
that shit because of the fucking
because the Bloodbourne
and Silk Song will be there. And it's
yeah, I don't watch
the Oscars because
there's, you know,
not going to show off bloodboard
at the Oscars. Yes.
I would just look at the fucking results
later and go, oh, good for them. They won.
Right. But, no, gamer bait
is required 100%.
You know? Or even
just the game or the
bait in the form of
Hideo Kojima standing on stage
with Jordan Peel. Yeah.
You know. Yeah, but also like, you look
at the Oscars and like the Oscars is also
an ad. It's just a far less effective ad
because the Oscars is the ad for the actor.
Right.
Look at Deadsell Washington.
He won an Oscar again.
This means that when we put his name on the next movie trailer and get to put a number of Oscars next to his name, this will increase the likelihood.
You will go see the movie because he has this many Oscars.
Of course.
And there are only 30 people that there are only 30 actors in Hollywood.
Yes.
There's a hard cap.
There are 30 actors.
We cycle through them to get projects made.
Yeah.
I'm really looking forward to the game awards, especially now, especially after, after like I will, I, I have already set up my anti-discourse field, which is I don't, I'm just set, I'm just, you know what, I'm just going to start setting conditions on whether or not you can engage in a topic.
if you did not watch the golden joysticks at 8 a.m. Pacific,
I don't want to hear your opinions on the game awards.
It was an 8 a.m. show on top of all of that shit.
Add that.
Wow.
I watch them all.
Okay.
You couldn't pay me.
And you literally do.
They didn't pay me.
No, no, no.
But like, like for us, like you literally like, you literally.
Oh, it's lucrative.
Yeah.
No.
You couldn't pay me and our job is literally to get paid to do it.
Yeah.
Well, it would have been 11 a.m. for you.
Oh, that's considerably reasonable.
Dude.
Jesus.
So upsetting.
All right.
Well, anyway.
Yeah.
So that was a train wreck.
The only thing of, other than note is the winners.
I can't remember all of them.
Peek one best.
I believe won best indie.
And I feel that's
deserved it.
Expedition 33 was not up for the indie categories
at the Golden Joysticks,
which I think was the correct decision.
Expedition 33 did, however,
win every award it was nominated for.
There you go.
E3.
Both performance awards.
More like E33.
You want to try it again?
Nope.
Because people are going with sweep.
Sweet.
SW33P, SW3P,
SW3P. Swith3P.
I feel like it's pretty clear that that game is going to
win the most awards of any game that's ever been.
As it fucking should.
I remember talking to Page after I beat it,
and I'm like, Expedition 33 is farther away from its contemporaries
than Baldersgate 3 was,
and that shit was way out there as an obvious win.
I feel bad because it feels like Expedition 33 kind of erased metaphor from the group psyche.
A little bit.
And metaphor was really good, but just it wasn't fucking clear obscure.
Like simply.
simply.
Now, Matt & Forre was last year, so, you know, it had its shot.
Yeah, okay, fair enough.
I stretch that together, but I suppose it is true.
That is, that is a different category.
I am so ready for the, is Expedition 33, a debut indie discourse?
And the answer is, no.
They need to change those categories.
Those categories need to have team limits or budgetless limits.
Because the actual signifier of indie as self-published is ridiculous.
I can't wait.
It's absurd.
I can't wait for the perfect absolute nightmare discourse game of something that comes along that is kind of an action game that has like leveling, that has a corpse run and a little bit of gacha and a little bit of, you know, and a little bit of online, a little bit of.
little bit of playing with your friends together,
kind of co-opping, but also a massive
single-player campaign,
and just
completely ruin all categories forever.
I feel like we're heading towards
the absolute nightmare game.
Categories are bad. In the next five years.
I think in the next five years,
we're going to have the worst possible
candidate game come out. That has just everything.
I saw Monster Hunter Wilds
is on the list for best RPG,
and I'm like,
they put Monster Hunter on the RPG.
category every year and every year
I go, no, it's not.
That's fucking weird.
That's super dumb.
Okay.
God awful. God awful golden joysticks.
Bad show. Anything else
for you this week? Yeah, I started
playing dispatch.
That is the game
made by ad hoc who is made up
of people who used to work at
Telltale. And I
I believe published by critical role, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
So I saw that like straight up.
I dispatch was something I was about to crack open and do an LP of alongside E33.
But I had to pull the schedule back because of baby reasons.
So we're going to have to chill for a minute.
But I absolutely saw and was interested in doing this dispatch for sure.
Would you like some pro tips?
When it comes to episode four.
perhaps mute the sound, but zoom in on.
You're going to want to mute the sound for the intro.
You're going to want to turn all the content shit on.
Because I got to have a fun experience with YouTube's, what is it called,
fucking active community guideline strike.
Yes.
For sexual content for the purposes of titillation.
See, I wish I could, like, I'm always curious because, like, you know, like, there's implied sex scenes in movies and then sometimes there's explicit and sometimes there's like, not explicit, but like, ooh.
And I always remember, do you remember Watchman?
Right?
The movie.
The movie.
Yeah, I remember.
In Watchman, the movie, it's all dark and in shadow, but you're seeing ass cheeks clapping.
Right.
You're actually seeing the pressure.
Yeah.
And it's like, that's, there's nothing, like, that's not explicit, but boy.
It's explicit.
I would say that's explicit.
You're not showing anything that you're not supposed to be showing for the PG-13 rating or whatever, but boy, are you as close as you can get to the, to it with the shadows, you know?
pornography and like, and like rules about nudity on all online platforms are nonsense.
I remember when Tumblr banned, was it Tumblr, banned female presenting nipples.
Exactly.
And it's Instagram as well with topless people.
And then putting male presenting nipples off.
And then putting guy nipples on.
Yep.
Which is fucking weird.
Yep, yep, yep.
That's super strange.
No, no.
Watchmen had big swinging blue dong in it.
It was not a PG-13 movie.
But like I'm saying, the way that was shot was they were not showing you as much as
they could have been. They were not showing you an explicit
sex scene, I feel like, but they were silhouetting
it in a way that was pretty close.
Go ahead and
go ahead and mute the first. Go ahead and mute
your game audio for
episode four, and then you'll know when to turn it back on.
Not the visual. The audio.
It was the audio. That's crazy.
But you know what? Go ahead and you turn
that sensitive materials
sexual content toggle on also.
Oh, by the way, just a reminder for everybody.
that I live in Montreal where strip T's was rated G.
Yeah, I remember that.
Okay.
I saw that in the theater.
Yep.
At like, whenever it was, it came out.
Cinema at the park.
Yeah.
I was like, I, Dad, can we go watch the movie with Demi Moore being naked?
He was like, yeah.
All right.
So just got to bring this one up every once in a while to remind people what's what.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
But outside of that, I hear.
I like how you can tell who is American in the chat.
the level of capitals.
Exactly.
And those who are like,
oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that.
What I have been hearing is that,
so obviously besides those foibles,
games excellent.
Oh, it's great.
Yep.
It's great.
And it has many of our larger compatriots there.
Mr. Charlie Moist Critical is there.
Laura Bailey, Matt Mercer.
I think about Mercer.
I just assume Matt Mercer's and everything I watch now.
So Aaron Paul, like, I don't know if you, did you ever watch any of Invincible?
I did not.
Okay.
Aaron Paul, like, has like an episode, well, more than one, but he has like a special,
dedicated episode where he plays a character in Invincible.
And he does a phenomenal job there where I kind of was like, okay, breaking that aside,
like, that really shows me, like, your ability to perform.
Yeah, Aaron Paul is doing a great job as Dispatch Man.
Atlanta Pierce is there as an Australian person, which works because you got to.
Jack Septychai is there, et cetera, et cetera.
It's star-studded cast, really.
And but more than that, super snappy writing, but not too snappy, right?
Okay.
Like punchy, quick, funny.
But he's not right behind me, is he?
But it's not overwritten.
That just happened.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Really, really.
You have to snap it back.
You have to go make it witty, but not too witty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It takes a lot of, it takes a lot of inspiration from their older games.
In particular, one very, very.
famously misunderstood
dialogue choice from an earlier game
gets a second go-around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw a joke referencing
like confusing titles,
confusing options in a, you know,
in a telltale game.
I've been playing through it and I'm getting like a lot of,
so much like every single one of these,
you get to the end, you get to see,
what did other people do?
What did other people do?
And the choices are like 50-50.
Or if there's three choices, it's like 30%.
Like right down the middle.
Or cataclysmic one-sided like things.
So something else I heard was that this game is completely pre-rendered.
There is nothing actually...
It is running at 62 FPS the whole time.
It is a, it is an FMV.
There is no rendering going on whatsoever.
No.
Okay.
No, this is a goddamn choose-your-own-adventure thing.
So it's coming to Netflix as well.
you're saying. Yeah, good. Yeah, absolutely. Except there is a game part. So you have your,
you have your, um, you have your, um, you have your, um, you have your, um, fighting people in a
robot suit or whatever. Um, you've got your narrative choices, which are exactly the same as
you would expect from a telltale thing all the way down to so and so. We'll remember that. Um,
and then you've got, uh, a little hacking mini game for babies, but it's cute, right?
And then you have the dispatching, which is the game's primary gameplay, which is you running 9-1-1 operator for a superhero group and trying to figure out who is correct to send to what job.
So it's like, hey, there's a massive soccer brawl.
No, it's in the U.S.
Sorry, there's a massive football game brawl happening.
We got to, you got to send over somebody to take care of it.
non-violently.
Okay.
And you, every single task and every single hero is split between combat, defensive ability, mobility, charm, and intellect.
Is that gameplay aspect of it anything like home safety hotline?
No, no.
So what it is is that you're looking at a map and a problem will show up and a little circle will start counting down.
and you click on it and it'll say,
hey, who do you want to send?
It'll give you a basic rough idea of what it is.
It'll give you a little hint.
It's like, oh, the people here are really strong.
Or, oh, you need to send somebody who's really smart,
who understands crypto, or whatever.
And then you're going to try and fit the best team.
And then what you do is everybody has like a, you know,
like a Jojo stand grid of like, you know, the five points.
And the way that it works is that you can't see it,
but every single task has a hidden little diagram of themselves.
And when the task is complete, they overlap the two to see how much they overlap.
And then they throw like a little ping pong ball around like a screensaver and go hope you land where they both overlap.
And then that thing will be marked as complete.
So if you send like three heroes to a really easy one, it'll just completely cover it.
And it'll go 100%.
Okay.
skills you did it. So there was, in the middle of Marvel Civil War, the original comic run,
there was like a what if scenario where you got to see like what if Cap and Tony's handshake
was genuine and nothing popped off after that. And then it shows like an imaginary scenario
where they're both in like in a comms room taking calls from around the world dispatching heroes
to deal with S rank problems, A rank, B, etc.
And kind of just going out for a coffee break and eventually going like, man,
could you imagine if we actually fought over that shit?
And then cutting back to the corpse and the fucking grave and the crying and the, oh, God, you know,
it was a pretty good like cutaway.
So I kind of imagined something like that scene.
Yeah.
So the main source of drama is that you're running this, this, you know, dispatch job.
But you are in charge of the absolute dog shit loser Z team.
Yeah.
The absolute worst of the worst idiots, nearly exclusively reformed minor villains.
What happens when you send the fucking new warriors out to deal with a villain that can detonate himself at an elementary school?
Right.
Yeah.
So, like, for example, I'll take one example.
Charlie plays sonar.
He's a guy in a suit that happens to have a bat head.
And he is guilty of a wide variety of financial and money laundering crimes.
And he's way into crypto.
And so his intelligence and charm are off the charts.
So if you need him to go argue with the brain teaser or diffuse a situation or do a speaking.
arrangement at something to make the company look good.
Ah, you might want to send him.
However, he is also in Narcotics Anonymous and is horribly addicted to drugs.
So maybe don't send him to bust up the drug deal because he is addicted to drugs and wants to do cocaine.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, gotcha.
Right.
Um, there's a bunch of little gameplay mechanics like, you know, certain pairs work better together, certain, uh, every, every event has the right hero to send.
Okay.
Like, literally, like, they skip the, the mini game and they, there's an extra option that just goes solve it their way.
Don't send Adam X the extreme to solve the mental health crisis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Um.
And so far, from a narrative perspective, it is fucking aces.
It's also, and this will be of great interest to you, really short.
Yep. Yep.
Oh, I saw that.
It is exactly one hour long.
I saw that shit.
I, that fucking cranked it right up the list.
The plan was to blow through it over the weekend.
However, episode four got in my way.
and then the baby got sick.
So, you know,
I'm going to do the rest of dispatch tomorrow.
I'm very excited about that.
Also, Joel Haver's there.
You know, Joel Haver?
I should.
Joel Haver is the guy who invented
the art style of bad looking
Vich video game.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yeah, there we go.
And he is being awkward as shit,
and his character is so interesting,
and I probably want to,
I'm going to tell you,
that fourth episode,
has the hardest decision
I've ever made in any of those games.
Oh, wow. Okay.
And like I looked,
I looked at the,
um,
the,
the,
you know,
the,
the,
the,
the stats and it was 47,
53 percent.
So fuck the,
fuck the in game stats.
Is there an audience chat civil war
between decisions as well going on?
Well,
yes,
constantly.
Yeah.
I,
I,
I'm a big fan of putting out this type of video,
uh,
like as a vaude.
and you get comment number one going, wow, this is crazy.
I can't believe, I haven't seen even one of these dialogue choices ever before.
Yeah, yeah.
And then right underneath that, right underneath that,
I can't believe how gratifying it is to see Pat pick every single decision that I also picked.
Great.
And he always made the right decision.
Great.
Okay.
So this is one of those games straddling that line.
Perfect.
This is also something that I absolutely,
somebody described something that was a minor spoiler to me
and I didn't care and I'm glad they told me.
There is a character here that will,
I can't wait to talk to you about
because they are right down the middle
of one half of that character is for you
and the other half of that character is for me.
Okay.
Their design might as well be out of your scrapbook.
Okay.
It's the character that you go for and draw every time with the personality of the character that is for me.
That you go for every time.
And watching it ping pong around in my brain is hilarious.
Interesting.
Yep, yeah, this is high priority.
This is high priority.
It's really good.
Turn the black bars on.
There's a lot more.
So episode one has.
a lot of just cock on the screen. Oh, straight up.
Straight up. Straight up. Okay. Okay. No flags. And apparently the black bars can't keep up with the
dick motion in that first episode. Like straight up like they didn't do that good job and it can't.
So I was pleased to find out that like Baldur's Gate was like it's aggressive and cyberpunk has the
same thing with its, um, the filtering. But like Twitch was pretty much like okay with it even if it was like, like,
The game was being overly cautious compared to what Twitch would be okay with, which is how I prefer it.
I appreciate that.
I thank you.
But YouTube, however, is another beast entirely.
Hey, I'm new to streaming on YouTube.
So if somebody just gets a little too excited on Mike and gets a little too close to something explicit, like YouTube is going to flag that?
Yeah, that's right.
My community guideline strike is going to leave on February 21st, and I had to fill out Baby's first.
content appropriateness class
where I had to do a little
survey of seven questions where they
go so and so
is that a hockey game and
is which of these is okay
fuck you you fucking condescending pricks
I know exactly what your
fucking system should be actually
fighting for
I'm getting a false positive
here you fuck it's always it's always
inconsistent and whatever it is today
is going to be different for tomorrow as well
Like it's literally the battle that's been lasting our entire careers.
Yeah.
And, you know, also doesn't hurt to also scroll past the story that were the dispatch team
are like, yeah, fuck that AI shit.
And we're like, okay, cool.
Good, great.
Cool.
And then I also read an interview where they're like, yeah, we had actually like full-on
graphic sex scenes, but we had to take them out due to time constraints.
and I'm like, after going through half the game, I'm like, you had like more, more crap?
What the fuck did you guys have in here?
Now, now, hmm, hmm, interesting, okay.
Like, are we looking at Overwatch and kind of going, why don't we wet our beaks?
Yeah, maybe. I don't know.
Why not allow us to wet our beaks to?
officially.
But yeah,
there's a whole lot of
mercy bucks that Blizzard is not
making.
Dispatch is great
and I only have one problem.
Yeah.
And it's a,
it's a problem of my own
creation because of
the nature of streaming.
So dispatch came out
like a month or two ago,
like a little while ago,
right?
Mm-hmm.
And what this means
is that for the first time ever,
I'm playing one of these games
not on like the first day
first week, which means I'm actually seeing a representative split of like what those like decisions are.
Right? Because when you play the like Walking Dead season one on the on day one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like you, you actually were only getting compared to like the first couple hundred people and sometimes it could skew really, really hard, right? But now it's it's out. It's done. So I'm seeing like the real decisions about who picked this or that. But what I'm also seeing is the final.
stat on every single episode is for the dispatch gameplay. It's you did better than X percentage
of players. But that includes people who replayed the game to get perfect scores. Oh. So the first
day, I'm like, you did better than 20% of people. So there's an objective correct path? Yes. You can do
perfect dispatch runs. Okay, not the choices in
dialogue, but in terms of...
No, no, but like the game...
The gameplay itself. Yeah, okay, okay.
Right. And it's like, there are guides out, and people have used them, and people have
replayed each episode to get the perfect dispatch runs to get the most experience.
And so I get to the end, and it's like, you are better than 30% of other players.
I'm just like, oh, oh, but I thought I did pretty good.
It was like, yeah, because I'm being compared to a...
Perfect runs.
A fucking pool that has been inflated by perfect runs.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
It makes me feel bad every time.
Imagine your first shot against
fucking consort Rodon
shows you a leaderboard.
How fast you died.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
I was about to say that
the
So apparently it's just a collection of MP4s, right?
And it's all pre-rendered,
which means you have no access to 3D models,
which means...
That's correct.
Which means that the horny means of production are owned by the dispatch team themselves, which means that they are in charge of what you get access to.
And if, again, if you allow them to wet their beaks, if you want to get, if you want to get Randy with it, then they can choose how much to dole out to you because they have all the access and you don't.
I don't think they have to worry about that because like, brilliant.
are just going to, they're going to do the same thing that they've always done, which is find an approximate character and then change that.
Release the files, literally.
Like if Sarah Bryant's Virtua Fighter model can be repurposed for Samus, then she can also be repurposed for Blue Blazer.
Sure, sure, but there's a little something to knowing that it's like an approximation versus the original, right?
Yeah.
It's just, you know, source filmmaker, you know, that.
There's just, there's something, there's something special about that.
There's something different about that.
So, all right.
That, that's, that's a surprise.
Yeah, no, I can't wait to talk more about that with you next week.
I would say when you do slot it in, just slot it two days back to back and you fucking bang out the whole goddamn thing and like weekend.
Yeah, it's, it's, it's really consistent in its length.
It's not, it's not fully up to me, but as soon as I can.
Yeah, obviously.
I'm going to, I'm going to make that happen.
You got to check on high.
Right on.
I also played Lethal Company for the first time.
Yeah.
The Yappers.
That is, that is the most, that is the primo friend slop.
That is, it's, it's definitively, like, sloppy and fun with friends.
Great, great asset.
You can play it by your,
and I genuinely don't know why you would ever even bother.
Can you play it alone?
I don't even know if I knew that.
What is there to do?
Like, you go into the place and get the things and bring them back.
Okay.
Sure.
Did you?
Yeah, I was like, did you do the full, did you do the full circuit and see the whole thing?
Yeah, we did the full circuit a couple of times.
Okay, okay.
And it is, peak is.
the same way, which is, it is crazy how strong good proximity chat is in improving, like,
the way these games work.
It is like, Peak has, like, you yelling at somebody who's crazy far away, and that's, like,
de facto hilarious.
On a mountain top and then a tree.
Yeah.
It also has, like, falling off a mountain.
And it is, ooh.
Yeah.
like hilarious but lethal company is like being like absolutely carried by its proximity chat
it is it is so integral that i would say this game is totally pointless without it because
chit chatting with the gang we modded it to have five people in there right but chit
chatting with the gang only to have the gang just completely to a person stop answering you
yes yes exactly fade out and just nothing like nothing and not even a you
yell. And like, like climbing tree top, mountain top expanse as like, is like an ideal proxy chat
punchline scenario creator. But the only thing better than that I could imagine is we're all trapped
on the Nostromo, you know? Yeah. Going through the halls of a factory spaceship ass setting with vents and
air locks and suddenly just footsteps clinking into the distance, you know, is great. Uh, and it just,
It's just everything about it is just built for like, like tense, hilarious moments.
Like, uh, I, I saw like Cloud.
Everybody's more familiar with these games than I am.
So at one point, Cloud was in a very dark room and he knew that there was a, you know,
beam that was hidden in the darkness that he could use to platform across.
So he looks at me and goes, hey, Pat, want to see a magic trick?
And then jumped off to land on it and then missed and then just disappeared in the darkness and
fucking died.
Exactly.
And I'm just sitting there, like, with my mouth, a gate going.
And then later we were talking, like, dude, you sounded like those guys who, like, kill themselves at the airport.
Just, yeah.
Hey, everybody, check this out.
Right.
And then, and the other thing, too, here that's different from the peak experience is the extraction run.
The fuck this, I'm going back to the ship.
And wait for me.
And, uh-uh.
I got to go or I'm dead
Too bad
We had a we had a moment where
Shima de Tiger
went back to watch our positions
from the ship
And everybody else died
We're dead right
But Javi I Heart Justice managed to survive
And get out of that
And he's crawling through the woods
With like every enemy I think I've seen in the game
Pulled
In his vicinity
And we don't have walkie-talkie
So there's no communication
and so he's a little lost and he's trying to find his way back and he realizes where the ship is.
And Shimada, who thinks she's helping, just starts, like, hitting the horn as hard as she can and starts yelling out, hey, we're over here.
And activating like a dozen enemies that are sound activated.
Yeah.
Only to have Javi make it to the, it was picture perfect.
Havi made it to the entrance, and from her perspective, he just got fucking, like, T-Rexed off screen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just incredible for this type of nonsense.
Like running back to the ship and as you're within a few steps of it, watching it take off into the distance, and you just stand still and then a Titan just picks you up.
And you're like, well, you know, yeah.
Kind of great.
Kind of incredible.
Though I think the next time we do this, not this week, but maybe two weeks, will probably be repo.
Because I died a lot.
I died like a lot, a lot.
I spent most of that stream in the death cam.
Okay.
And I was like, I would like to play one of these friend slop games in which I can defend myself in any way.
whatsoever, please. Okay.
So the next one is probably going to be repo, because
Repo gives you a gun. Even if the gun is mostly useless,
I would like to have a gun, please.
Did you, the only other thing I'm curious, did you drop off stuff at the company?
Oh, yeah. And did you hang out there?
I ran the bell too many times. Yeah, okay, okay, cool. Yeah, that's it. I'm like,
that's the most interesting thing about the entire game to me.
I also got frustrated with Shimada not being able to get a truck up a little,
incline so I got into the truck myself
and then immediately exploded and killed
Cloud.
Sick. Like I turned the ignition
and the car just literally blew up
in my fucking face.
So that was great.
That game's great.
Yeah.
Also, I will say, one of the things
about the friend slop genre is you're like
oh man, this cool game's so
interesting and it's
so hot and so cool.
And now it's multiple years
over older and it's still like not even close to being finished.
Is it not?
No.
No.
It, because it was so basic in, you know, asset and features that I assumed it was just like
another one of those game jam productions.
No, early access.
Oh.
Okay.
That's kind of one of the problems.
They're all early excess.
All of them.
like kind of forever
like fucking Valheim
I bet you I could look up
and Valheim still in fucking early access
was right
was Fall Guys early access
no
no that came out proper okay
no fall guys is made by you was it
Ubisoft
oh I thought it got acquired
I thought there was a small thing
a small dev team
than like a bigger team
like bought them or published it or something like
is peak not early access
let me go
check that
yeah
peak won
the award over at that.
Peak is not early excess.
Yeah.
You know what?
It feels like it's not early excess.
I also,
did I stream anything else?
I have to actually go back and check my fucking content,
fucking video producer tab to even answer this question.
Me and Paige did the Game of the Year predictions.
We also did more blindly than blind,
which page is getting much better at RE2,
which is awesome.
Oh, I played Demon School.
I did a sponsored stream for Demon School.
That looks cool.
That looks cool.
I saw that Demon School had a bunch of like a smattering of reviews across a wide variety of scores.
And I know exactly why.
The characters are of a really particular style.
And you have to love them or hate them, hit or miss.
And if you're down with that style, you're like, fuck yeah, let's go.
Yeah, yeah.
And if you're not, that shit would just be fucking miserable.
I got that from the trailer just watching.
It's like, okay, you're doing some persona hangouts with these characters here, and if you like the friends you can hang out with, you're going to enjoy it.
Games killer.
And if not, oh.
That's it.
Yep.
Yeah, I can feel it.
I saw somebody just compared to neon white, and that's ridiculous.
I actually like neon white, but I think that neon white went a lot farther.
But yeah, no, demon school is super cool.
neon white was a weird one.
The art style stellar, the music's fantastic.
The core tactical gameplay is very interesting and very, very into the breach sting.
Ah.
The goal is to kill the right amount of enemies by the end of three or four turns perfectly.
And if you do so, you get a great ranking and more rewards.
Super cool.
Okay.
I was sponsored to play it.
I got paid for that.
But that's one of those games where they said,
do you want money for this?
And I was like,
I was going to fucking do a stream anyway.
Yeah.
So yeah, absolutely.
I threw that shit on the list.
For sure.
What was the,
I feel like,
yeah, who made it again?
It was,
I looked it up and I remember seeing.
It is Liz.
Yisbris.
absurd games.
I think it's...
Necrosoft. It's Necrosoft.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Neckrosoft. There you go.
Yeah. Um, right.
I always, I assume that's absurd.
It's just an absurd way to spell absurd is the bit.
Oh, yeah. Well, that's the publisher.
The publisher. And Necrosoft is the...
Necrosoft is the actual devs.
Yeah. Cool. All right.
Super good game.
And last but not least, I guess, is that, um, uh, in my own time,
off camera, I've been playing a lot of Kingdom Come Deliverance too, which is up for a bunch of awards this year.
And it's done now.
It's finished, except for like an emergency patch they need to bring out at some point because there's a progression blocker that I avoided.
The first progression blocker to be avoided in ages.
But I actually just, for people who have played KCD2, I would like to point out how excellent the wedding quest is.
Um, the wedding quest is what you're building up to for the first half of the game.
You're trying to get invited to a wedding to meet, uh, you know, a big wig.
Um, and there is a long series of quests to finagle an invite to that wedding.
And I did all of them. And then I did every side quest that existed on the map.
It took me 42 hours before getting to that wedding.
and when I got to that wedding
I knew who
every single fucking guest was
and had unique dialogue
for every single
fucking person
wow
okay
and it was
it was like I
like you
they fucking pay it off
nice okay
proper
and like certain characters
not getting along
and remarking
and like certain minor quests
opening up
because they know you
like hey
because I helped Voste
Detect the Gameskeeper
fucking not get eaten by wolves
He trusts me enough
To slap a drink out of his hand
The whole night every time I see one
Because he's got a drinking problem
So like proper Citadel
DLC style
Absolutely like a micro citadel
But like in the fucking
First Third of the game
sick um and then they followed it up with a really really brutal quest that i am working on where
they take all of your shit away they take every single fucking item and and skill you have away
and they put you in an environment you've never been before and they say figure it out with a time
limit sure and i'm fucking sweating sweatin that game's incredible so like i feel like you know um
after
Hypojean jail
and like every other variant thereof,
the whole like kidnapped and taken your powers away
arc no longer elicits the same panic it used to.
Even in Silk Song type of thing,
you're kind of just like, okay,
we're doing one of these segments.
I'm sure there's a like...
Okay, you're holding back from saying a lot of things.
All right.
Okay, so I want to be clear.
You don't, like, KCD is an RPG with a lot of equipment.
You don't realize how much your inventory is your entire character's power until they take it away from you.
I see.
Okay.
Because the thing that really fucked me over, I'm like, oh, they took all my lock picks, man.
And I can't leave this area.
I don't even know where to get a lock pick.
Like, oh, congrats.
This entire form of gameplay is just disabled until I can.
scrounge one up or find one.
Gotcha. Okay.
Like it's more than losing my missiles or my Vyria suit.
I'm like, I can't pick locks. I can't fight.
You cannot traverse.
I have no ability to use any healing items.
Yeah. Okay.
That game's so fucking cool.
Everything about that game is fucking cool.
Okay.
That's it for me.
If you want to check out more Pat's stuff, go down to Twitch.com
slash Pat Stairs at and YouTube.com
slash Pat Stairs at this week.
is going to be...
Fuck.
I can't remember.
I'm so tired, by the way.
It's hard to sleep
when your little guy is going...
Like the whole night.
And I feel bad for him.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I know, Willie.
I know, I know, I know.
I know. I know. I know.
I know. I know.
Hey, do you want to do something really annoying?
Hey, do you want to do something really, really, really annoying?
Uh-huh.
Okay, so now that we're parents, right?
Remember when you were single?
Mm-hmm.
Like, single?
Mm-hmm.
I'm too busy to go to that.
Oh, my God.
And how...
Yeah.
And how you didn't know what the fuck busy meant at all?
Yep. Yep. Yep. So I like, okay, I have not had a, you know, these weeks have not been eventful in terms of content consumption of sorts. But, you know, there are new sounds happening that we're trying to decode, you know?
There are sounds that are like, it's not quite a full-on.
fuss and it's not quite a cry, but it's kind of just a, I call that a grumble.
And you're like, okay, what does that mean?
Is this relating to, is it, is it tummy?
Is it digestion?
Sort of sometimes.
But then other times it's like, you don't have it.
But then when I bring you to this room, now you have it.
So you're like, oh, it's a, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a emotional thing.
You're reacting to the stimulus.
Is it, is there, are you overstimbing?
you know and you're just you're flipping this Rubik's cube around.
So there's that,
that whole process is every single thing your baby is saying is I don't like this.
And it's solved for this.
Yes.
But up until now, right, a certain level of I don't like this goes straight to tears.
So you're like, yeah, fair enough.
I can read that.
I can, you know.
Right.
But now you have like an eh, uh, right?
You have that.
And then you're like, okay.
So this is a level of this coming.
comfort. What if we changed it by, let's pick you up. And then the pickup now is like,
eh, you're like, oh, no, no, you don't want to be picked up. Okay, okay, okay. So let's try
putting you in this like bouncer for a second. No, no, you don't want that either. Okay.
So the scenario you're in, left side, please. So the scenario you're in where you're hearing
this fussing is actually the least fussing compared to the other four things you've just tried.
So, you know, and you're like, is this?
That will get more complicated, but it will also get more clear for multiple years.
And then you will hit the era of straight up the phrase, I don't like this.
What don't you like?
X.
Okay, I will now stop X.
And then you will discover that they were lying.
Oh, no.
We have entered into the phase in which we physically can't get to his demand.
before he changes his mind.
Okay.
Okay.
See, because to me, that communication level of like,
it feels like such an immediate game changer where you're like,
oh, I wish I could just hear from you what the thing you want is.
Yeah.
Well, okay, so get this.
Dada.
I want Piba toast, please.
Peeba toast is peanut butter toast.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, buddy.
No problem.
Guess what?
Fuckhead.
Toast takes fucking time to toast.
takes fucking time to toast in the toaster.
Yes.
You know what that means?
By the time I get that kid Piba toast,
I offer him the Piba toast.
No!
I don't want Piba toast!
No!
Okay, okay.
Yeah, you're not sure yourself where you're at.
Right.
Like almost, almost with how dare you offer me the Piba toast.
Yeah.
Like inside, you know?
So someone just went,
A baby is not a soul's game boss,
Woolley,
and you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
No, they are.
You have no, you're so wrong.
You have never been more wrong.
It's crazy how wrong you are.
You learn the patterns.
Babies are a game of Simon
that you learn through the most obtuse format ever.
And the joke that we've been having,
as I'm talking to Punch Mom about this,
is that me recognizing patterns and startup animations
and things that are beginning to happen
and fixing it first,
but to cancel out a cry,
is actually the same things you do
when you're fighting a boss in a game,
getting used to,
oh, the arm is up,
it's, uh,
which one is it?
It's the delay roll catch.
Okay, gotcha.
Yeah. Right?
I'm hearing,
so before the cry comes out,
you start to see the frown, right?
And then sometimes you see the super exaggerated frown
and a little bit of the like,
right?
You're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I know that one.
That one is temperature.
That's a temperature-based, like, upsetness.
And then you know, you're like, okay, strip the layer off, right?
We're in the car or whatever.
Okay, strip the layer off.
Get some air circulating there.
And that cry is now canceled, and you don't have to worry about it.
Because if it breaks and it's in a full cry, you're stuck with it.
Now you have to sue that and then other thing, you know, or bringing them to the table where, like, she loves to reset on this table.
She just does a table she loves.
It makes her smile every time, you know?
being able to like get that done quickly enough.
There are things where like when she's feeling particularly like, there are times where she's
like, I want to eat, but I'm just not hungry enough to finish this bottle or so.
And you're kind of like, I want you to keep drinking.
I want you to keep going.
Like if you, there's a moment where she will like pull off and sometimes like she's like,
I'm going to stop paying attention because I got to poop right now.
or I'm going to pull off because I got a burp, right?
And it's a little distracted moment.
And when that happens, there are windows where you have approximately 20 seconds,
if the bottle is finished, to refill it with something temperature appropriate and keep going.
Otherwise, she'll just be like, you know what?
Actually, I changed my mind.
I'm out.
And like, you have to kind of like, while she's in the flow of still drinking,
you have to get her more fast enough or the interest is gone.
And it's a 20 second timer, you know?
And you get in sometimes, like, there's a point where I was, like, you, you get a, you get a, a refill ready next to you and you switch it fast enough and get it back in her mouth where she's like, I'm, okay, yeah, it's like I never, it's like I never stopped drinking. I forgot that I stopped, so let's keep it going, you know?
These are all things that boss pattern recognition absolutely help you with.
And like, it's funny because with PunchBob, like, we've joked about it where I'm like, no, these skills are coming into play and I'm seeing things that, like, sometimes she, she's missed with, or.
so just based on game recognition.
So it's absolutely on point.
It's so close.
You have no idea.
There are QTEs.
I have sent you a photo just now.
And it is the photo of my son five seconds after telling me he is not tired.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
And this photo was when I took this to send a page and we started to workshop.
Can I get, so he is like a closed eyes slumped over a chair backwards.
Yep.
and saying I'm not tired.
And I'm texting page like,
how do I get him out of that chair upstairs to the bedroom?
Can I do it?
The answer is no.
I actually physically can't get him off the chair
because if he moves at all,
he will wake up just enough that he will actually beat his chest
so that he will wake up because he doesn't want to nap.
Yeah, I'm that
So I have to recognize
I'm fucked up
I had to recognize 10 minutes prior
That he looked too sleepy to sit down
I'm I was putting so much just like
Joy and hope on the idea of like
Oh that cool thing where they learn a little bit of sign language
You know where they learn all the different like oh poop or milk more you know
Etcetera pain all these little skews
and kind of being like that will solve all the problems.
Only to now be like, and then what if they lie?
Yeah, dude.
Or more accurately, what if they change their mind too fast?
Damn, phase two.
So we're, we're, so I can see how some parents would like think this is the terrible twos or whatever,
but because they have no patience and they hate their children or whatever.
But my boy is he's starting to feel himself.
He's starting to gain some independence and he thinks he can tell mom and dad what to do.
And he tells us what to do literally every second of the fucking day now.
I mentioned this earlier.
It's not time to say, come on.
It's not okay.
It's not time to eat.
It's not time to go to bed.
No, it is not time to pick me up.
it is not time to pet caboose.
And my personal favorite,
me and Paige were chit-chatting
about something in the kitchen
and he walked into the room
and said,
it is not time to talk right now.
And we both just like,
our jaws just dropped.
And we're like,
no, you don't get to.
And goes, yeah.
You got to,
yeah, you got to push those limits to learn them.
You got to learn them.
That's how we do it.
damn well in any case
there are new noises there are new
phases there are new
new bars are filling up first time you get hit with frenzy
and you're like what is that
what does that icon mean
it's almost full I'm gonna get out of here
that can't be good but holy shit
um okay
well in any case
that aside you know
a bunch of times been spent on that
something I have been doing
yeah just
I've checked out a bit of
I've wanted to do this for a while
Absolute Batman
I don't know if you've
It's basically this
Big Batman yeah with no money
Yeah right so the absolute universe in DC
is what if the heroes were
What if Hope was
absolutely the, like, evil in the sense that it's the outlier.
And in an absolute dark, destructive, everything is awful in all the stacks, all the odds are
against you world.
And in this case, with Batman, what if Bruce was 6'9 and blue collar worker and had none of
the origin power of money that the Bruce we know has?
And he just hits the punching bags.
and he works as a city, as an engineer,
and he works all over the Gotham,
and he gets to learn the streets,
and he gets to learn the ropes.
He does plumbing.
He does all of it.
And he hides out in a tower that's an unused floor of a billionaire skyscraper
that's just empty, and that's where he hides his shit, you know.
Why does he have no money?
Because he grew up poor.
He grew up poor.
His dad's a teacher.
Oh, that's it?
Yeah.
His dad, Thomas Wayne, is a teacher, and Martha's a social worker.
That's it.
you know, nothing special.
Okay.
But being poor made him big.
Yeah, well, he's gigantic.
Exactly.
Because, like, basically the superhero, the logic of this, of the universe is such that
Darkside created a world where, again, like, all the odds are stacked against the,
the heroes in particular, which, whatever their origin is.
And in his case, it's like, he's got, he's got size.
And he's got grit.
And that's it.
That's all he's got going.
You know, you figure out the rest somehow.
It ain't, you don't, you can't just solve it with the usual.
Yeah, I've been seeing a lot of pieces of art of absolute Batman.
Um, and the redesigns of the villains all look kind of awesome.
So that's it.
What got me interested was seeing the axe, right?
The bat logo off the chest drops down and becomes a giant axe, basically.
And then I saw, um, Joker.
I saw the design for what Joker.
is an absolute world. And it's like, this is unfair. It's so unfair. It's completely ridiculous.
And I went, all right, I want to know. And yeah, so far it's really good. So far it's really sick.
But one of the funnest things is I kind of realize that, you know, there's always these, the part of the
discourse over the years is the, you know, should like Batman doesn't kill, that's the golden rule.
But sometimes it's just so ridiculous. They're rubber bullets, I swear, et cetera.
And like you were always...
My favorite is hitting people with the fucking car at fucking 120 miles per hour in Arkham night.
But they are...
But I electrocuted them.
We tased them.
We taste them.
It wasn't the car that hit them.
It wasn't the tumbler.
An absolute insanity.
Exactly.
Right.
And just that world.
And the more realistic, you know, setting that bad, that Batman is, the more that argument becomes really stupid, right?
There's something I kind of realized here that I love.
is in this absolute world
the other one thing
besides having the power of being
six nine 400 pounds or whatever
yeah that's a good one
that's one power and the other one
is the power of
fucking yakow wacko and dot
mallet space logic
right
so um
there are things where like
you're just you're like when you're trying to stick
to this rule right the golden rule with Batman
And like first things first as you're establishing who this character is in the middle of purging out a refugee camp
Um, Blon Busk throws up a nice little Zieg Heil and then the next panel is a two page spread of the arm getting broken and the-oh, I like this.
And the goofy bone cartoonishly sticking out of the broken arm mid-Zegg, right?
I like this.
And you're seeing the extreme, like Batman's face when he's crunching the Nazi arm.
He's so mad at the arm.
He's like,
I like the idea of all the rays being directed at shoulder to fingertip.
He's so mad.
He's so mad at that elbow.
Like, it's exploding out of the joint, right?
And then on the next...
Oh, this feels good.
I like this.
And on the next page is, I want...
you to imagine
um imagine two bowls right
and put one bowl
inside of the other bowl
got it so they stack together
right yeah yeah now the bowl
on the bottom
is the face
of another Nazi
and the bowl on the top is
Batman's knee
got it okay
got it you have never seen a
tiger knee captain falcon
like just like
annihilate the shape of a dude that deserved it as hard as ever, but it's drawn in such a way
where it's like, no, no, no, they're alive.
Well, that's a hell of an elbow break.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I don't know.
They're alive.
They're totally fine.
You know, no one died here.
But, like, the logic of the world is like, no, but the emotion of what you need, of how
hard you need to knee that dude in the face is felt.
Also, the bicep and, like, the exploding leg muscles are so huge.
Like they're getting extra big because it's it's animaniacs rules in this art style, right?
Batman doing that knee again, the face, the...
Yeah.
You know, every page is just that strain.
Or I'm like, this is amazing.
I love how much he needed to inflict pain on the street.
Oh, yeah, these are not adhering to like human constraints.
It rules to then do that and be like, yeah, they survived.
They're fine.
He's teaching them a lesson.
They're fine.
He beat them up.
You know?
It's the, it's the, it's the, the vibe.
The vibe is what needs to get across in these attacks, you know.
You're, you're sending a message with these arm breaks and these face breaks and these back breaks and these leg breaks.
And just folding the enemies into basketballs and dribbling them.
Yeah.
Like fucking, like a Warner Brothers cartoon, you know.
But like, it's, it's, it's, it's conveyed that like this is how you need to treat evil in this world because it's especially damning and everywhere.
in the absolute universe.
So this is the answer.
You know,
it's,
it's very,
very satisfying to see those panels.
I appreciate it.
And,
yeah,
that's that's that.
Just absolute Batman's fucking,
that,
that is the shit.
Pretty much.
I've actually seen a bunch of pieces of these comics.
And like,
a lot of them actually look really good.
I saw,
like,
some panels from Absolute Man,
Martian Manhunter.
And it looked super visually interesting.
I haven't seen it.
I haven't checked out any of that.
I saw the like basic introduction to, uh, absolute wonder woman is like, instead of being raised on Temescria, she's raised in hell.
Okay, sure.
And for Superman, it's, um, there was no Kentz.
He was, he was, he raised, born and raised on Krypton.
Oh, that sounds like a, a good reason that we should kill Superman.
He had no, like, you know, old country moral compass upbringing, you know?
So, yeah, I'm curious.
Yeah, we should kill Superman.
I mean, it sounds like you're guaranteed to be a huge douche depending on which version of the, you know, Krypton we're talking about.
But I haven't read it, so I don't know.
You're saying that with your bald face right now especially?
Yeah.
I think killing Superman is a good idea.
I'm just feeling it.
I'm just feeling it real good.
see the problem is is that
you don't have the charismatic eyes of Michael Rosenbaum
to pull this off you know
that's not fair
also I don't need to do that
I just want to kill Superman
you know
and the lulls
and the only other thing is
speaking of killing Superman I was checking out
I don't know if you saw any of it, but Invincible versus had its beta.
I did not see that at all.
This is literally the first I'm hearing of it.
Okay.
Speaking of, that reminds me, I need to go look at my email for a different beta.
It's, you're in.
Guess what?
You're in.
Oh, yeah.
You're right.
You're in.
Everyone's in.
I should write these dates down.
Yes, five to seven.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So everybody got in this time.
Everyone's in.
Everyone's in.
Everyone's going to play Tocon in a couple days' time.
What?
No.
I mean...
Yeah.
But right now, Invincible versus is happening.
And I was curious because I'm like, I want to see what this game finally plays and looks like.
Because what I see in these trailers is like, you know, it's a little jank looking.
It's a setting that has some cool characters.
overall, these are flying bricks, and I don't know how you really make this interesting.
A lot of them are Superman.
Flying bricks.
Flying bricks.
That's just what we're doing, right?
But this is the team that made Killer Instinct.
So I'm also wondering, you know, what are they cooking?
Because that's a great-ass fighting game.
Like, it's biggest issue besides, well, besides the team swap and stuff.
But even then, it still came out great.
It was just being console limited, you know, held back.
by its exclusivity.
But in this instance, I'm kind of looking at what they're doing.
And okay, when it comes to the Superman and the Flying Bricks, as they're being called,
it's just what the game is.
You can't get around it, right?
They don't have the same moves and specials, of course.
But in terms of the overall vibe of what you're looking at, people in tights throwing
big old Western comic books swings at each other and heads,
exploding is just what this game is.
And you're going to get a Battle Beast here.
You're going to get a Viltramite who's spinning her hair to attack you there.
But for the most part, you're watching Cape people take big power swings, you know?
I saw Goggins is there.
As is, yeah, Cecil.
Cecil is really cool.
I actually find him the most interesting member of the cast.
Well, yeah, because he's a dude, right?
He's just an old man.
He's an old man and he's got the money tech on his side.
So he teleports and it's an extremely good move, but it's also resource limited.
And I think like in the show, it's like literally every time you use a teleporter, it's the cost of a small island nation's GDP.
Like it is the most expensive thing in the world, but Cecil can do it.
And the other things.
So then in terms of the systems they got going on.
They did something really very K-I, but I kind of expected them to, like, create a system that I thought would be a lot simpler.
They went complex.
And I haven't gotten hands on it, so I don't know.
But from the outside, I'm like shocked that they would try to make it as complex as it is.
Of all these fighters, we've been seeing that are the tag fighters coming out.
So this one doesn't have the, it doesn't look as good as Tokon or.
or 2XCO, for example.
It doesn't have the visuals on its side.
No.
It is probably the fastest.
They made it ridiculously fast.
And you have to play it fast.
You have to react fast.
It just throws everything at you insanely quickly.
And the core of like what you're doing in the game is you're doing a very easy combo because it lets you basically, you can do.
Heavy punch, fireball, heavy punch, fireball, heavy punch fireball.
You can just do those two things until that you hit the combo limit and that'll work.
It's extremely, really?
It's extremely generous with that.
But what you have to kind of do to make your combos extend is call in your assists, right?
Calling assists is free.
Unless you block it, then it costs a little bit of this resource.
But if you call it an assist and you're hitting the opponent, it doesn't take anything away
from you. You lose nothing for doing it.
And if the person doesn't know how to deal with it, you can call your assists and switch
between your characters and do infinite combos forever until they die.
This, I'm watching Diffony play it right now.
Or Diaphani?
Diaphone?
Oh, right. Diaphone.
Sorry, when we were on the tournament, I pronounced his name Diaphani.
I see.
And it started a long series of name mispronunciations that I can't quite shake.
Probably doesn't appreciate that too much.
But this shit looks like Kusoge.
Like this looks like the Western DNF duel.
Yeah, the Jack is wild.
And what they're doing at these breakneck speeds is they're making it so that every assist is free.
And then you, but you can stop it by doing a combo.
breaker that is calling your own assist out to stop theirs.
And you have to do it insanely fast.
And when you do break a combo with your assist, it costs half of your assist's life.
In red life.
So. Oh, yeah.
I just saw him do that.
They can.
Jesus.
They can heal it back if you leave them in the back long enough.
But you got to leave them in the back forever.
But they have to, but like that's the sacrifice of stopping a combo is you, you, you
take someone in the background and you lose half their life, you know.
So if you're taking a combo that's like going to obviously kill you, you better stop it.
But resource met wise, they're just going wacky with it.
Right.
So the shit like that, if you snap someone in, they lose all that red life, obviously.
Every throw can lead to a combo.
So throws are just other ways to open up your opponent.
Right.
And these damage numbers are so high.
It's batch it.
It's batch it.
There are snapbacks where you can do some.
have someone break and then snap back in the person who had half red life and make them lose
half,
lose all of it,
right?
Um,
so they're just going crazy with it.
They're making this game that's like really,
really like it's,
it's,
yeah,
it's got the jank,
but,
uh,
and all that,
but it's also like difficult in terms of systems and asks,
you know,
I haven't played it.
So I'm not sure,
but just try to follow the systems and looking at the tutorial and stuff.
I'm like,
why would you go this complex with it,
you know?
Um,
but there,
there's,
is,
there's one aspect of it that I think.
is pretty interesting is there's no draw games or timeovers that in the traditional sense.
When you, when the clock goes to zero, you enter sudden death and you continue the fight,
but your both of your life starts draining over time.
Oh, okay. That's fair.
So whoever is in the lead has a time advantage, but if the person who touch who's in the
second place gets a touch and kills you first, they can still win.
you know so that's cool that's a hype way to kind of be like you know hey there's always a chance
it of course encourages it engenders passivity as from soft would say in at least one person but like
it's a nice way to be like no you still have to fight even when there's a time over i find that
interesting um but i just unfortunately don't think that the inverse invincible license
combined with the jank look and the character flying brick variety is going to pull enough people away
in terms of just like general interest.
This has the opposite problem that 2XCO has.
Right?
Where 2XCO has like the potential like dream roster from anything you could ever want.
Oh, there's not enough.
They've already shown off a bunch of characters for this and like six of them are the same guy.
Yeah, it's unfortunately like landing closer to NenPact.
Um, but NenPact has a huge variety of, of, of characters, but it's just not a very good fighting game. Um, in this case, this looks like it could be fun in the absolute like fucking, you know, yeah, this is a, this is a dumpster fighter kind of, you know, um, but the KI team, they do know how to make a good fighting game. It's just, I just, I don't know that they're gonna get, you know, people's attention for long with this. Like, invincible getting a fighting game is a cool thing.
maybe it should have been a different genre, you know?
Maybe.
Maybe it should have been done by ad hoc.
And I might be crazy.
I might have to look at this up close when it's running in front of me.
But my feeling in my heart is that K.I. looks better.
It does.
I'm telling you right now.
I'm looking at it right now.
Like, it shouldn't because this is a successor of sorts,
and it's coming later on, you know,
on a future platform, but the idea, but as, but K.I's art design and like characters, they're clear,
they're crisp. There's a, there's a much more clear design going on. And this is kind of,
yeah, it's not standing out. Like I'm sure in, uh, there's a lot of people like Invincible and supposedly,
I haven't watched it or read it, but supposedly it's quite good. It's great. But Invincible has a
really basic art style. Yes, yes. No, Invincibles like whole thing is, hey, you're
read comic books and superheroes, we're going to twist that and do a bunch of unexpected things
with the Justice League archetypes that you're aware of, you know? And so part of selling the idea
is that it needs to kind of look basic comic bookie. Yeah. You know, um, there are, and even when like,
like, like the art style, even in the original comics as well, it's like, it's going, at the time,
at least, it was going for something that looked similar to what DC was doing with some of their
books and stuff. So it's, yeah, you're not looking at. You're not looking at. You're not looking at,
at it for these incredible amazing
League of Legends, art designs
or fucking
Tocon, you know what I mean?
Like it's not doing that.
And in fact, I think it was brilliant of Tocon
to be like, yeah,
we were going to go for an extreme
art design take on these characters
that stands out because
Tocon easily could have just been
generic MCU fighter, you know?
Bro, that the Tocon art design is just
so evocative and so unique and so cool.
Like it looks like MVCI, the lesson learned from that, you know, they swung as hard as they could in the opposite direction and went like, yo, Arxis, you do amazing visual things.
People love the way your games look. Please give this a visual identity.
And for invincible versus to do something that would have given it a strong visual identity as a fighting game, it would have probably had to betray a bit of how it looked as a comic.
as a show. You know that pointing soyjack meme of like thing and he's bored and it's thing but
Japanese and he's like oh yeah like I actually feel that way about Marvel characters place
like I'm so serious yeah or Chinese fuck it yeah um and then the thing is is that like when you see
arxis doing an extremely faithful ass take on um dragon ball you're like that's super sick but
you know what else is sick?
Fucking Dragon Ball is hype as hell.
Yeah,
Dragon Ball sick as shit.
All it needs to do is just like evoke all the shit that it already,
we already know it does.
And Invincible is also really sick,
but not for those reasons, you know?
Now, the best...
I'm watching this footage.
I genuinely think that Cecil,
the old man with these fucking zombie robot guys,
is the most visually interesting person on this entire roster.
Yeah.
So I'm hoping that we also get someone on the roster that's a season three character that could also be very, very potentially cool.
But the deep cuts, they're going to have to go to get original characters.
And not only that, there's characters that look original, but their moveset is not, you know?
Like, I can think of...
Yeah, there's a Seth Rogen orange guy.
Alan the Alien.
Another Superman.
Alan the Alien is a one-eyed, like, original kind of fun.
character that is almost like a space green lantern, that is also a big flying brick.
You know, that's, that's it. That's exactly it. Um, they should put spawn in this.
Or Spider-Man. Because the- No, Spawn. Because Spawn's in the Invincible comics. And Spider-Man is in the
Invincible comics as well. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, straight up fucking Spider-Man? There was a crossover. The whole,
portal crossover thing happened. Yeah, but Spider-Man in it. Fuck it. There you go. Um, anyways. Um, so
you know, we'll see where this goes, but unfortunately, I'm, I'm, I think it's not, it's not
going to set the world on fire.
Um, um, since I, I briefly mentioned it, I do want to mention one thing about the two XCO
patch that went out, that Nerf Yaso and Echo.
Um, it was pretty light, but playing it in master and grandmaster, uh, player psychology changed
due to those patches.
Yes.
I used to fight like 80%
Yaso and Echo on a team
and they've almost fucking disappeared
because players read those nerves
and seemed to have abandoned them.
Well, they're still effective,
but I think...
They're still really strong.
They're still probably the best characters in the game.
But perception is a lot.
And yeah, there's a feeling
around the counterplay
that like doesn't always reflect the win rates,
you know?
It's so interesting.
But when you,
see when you see them say there's 3% going both directions and that's our farthest gap,
right? 47 to 53 is the largest matchup discrepancy they have. And it never feels that way,
ever. Never. Never. Yeah. Well, there you go. Yeah, that's, that's, that's, and it's going to continue
feeling like this. Like, dude, Blitzcrank got the most tiniest buff. I see like 10 times. I see like 10 times.
more blitzcranks in Grandmaster now.
So, okay, are you, and are you seeing, like, so good, congrats on making it.
Are you seeing what I'm talking about where, like, the characters disappear, right?
And when you do run into a brahom, you're like, you're about to get taken for a fucking ride.
Right?
It's incredible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I, uh, there's, I, I, I'm seeing some, like, dudes show up.
where like people that are just outside of Challenger range
are showing up with their Brahms
and I'm like oh fuck me I'm just that you're gonna do some shit
I've never seen before and it's gonna-
Man you know what I recently saw a video of a guy
playing Mortal Kombat and online
and there's a feature in Mortal Kombat online
that I did not know existed
and I think every fighting game should do this
and it fucking has like the your opponent's like LP
or like whatever their default ranking
and then it has their win-loss ranking.
And the game, like, gives you, like, a fucking win chance.
Oh, your percentage against this person?
Yeah, it goes like you have a 10% chance of winning.
That's toxic as fuck.
That's the most toxic thing ever.
I know.
But the numbers go high enough that you can get 0%.
That's horrendous.
That's so bad.
I hate that.
I hate that.
I want that.
That's awful.
So, okay.
TechN shows you, shows.
shows you the last 10 matches, the person that you're about to fight had, and so you can see that
part. Dragon Ball fighters had a bunch of win stats displayed by default, and it lets you turn
them off, right? But you have to go hide them, essentially. No, I want, I want, like, I want total
win status. I want, like, win percentage over the last hundred matches. Oh, my God. And if it says
80%, I'm going to start to sweat. I'll tell you right now, all your
going to do is make the pluggers plug harder.
Like, you're right, you're right.
People who were already thinking about plugging are going to be like, no, you don't deserve it.
You know, that, that LTG mentality comes out even faster when they have a number attached to you.
Holy shit, that's toxic.
Anyways, um, uh, uh, on Woolley versus tune in over on YouTube and on Twitch.
We're continuing with Expedition 33, Act 2.
And, yeah, the schedule, again, remains a little touch and go as we got baby stuff happening.
But stay tuned.
I may get very sick this week.
And cancel a bunch of streams.
I don't know.
I will let you guys know over on my socials what the plan is.
But we're making good progress in Act 2, though.
We're getting places.
Holy shit, is that game fun to see.
the second time around.
New game plus in Expedition 33 is phenomenal.
Really cool.
Well, that's crazy, Willie.
Who'd have thought you could play a game two times and enjoy it?
Yes.
That's so crazy.
Obviously.
Obviously.
The things I'm saying, what I'm saying is that the things that are you're meant to catch around are, um, sometimes it's like, sometimes it's, there's stuff that you, you can catch a second time around, I feel that is like,
um let's say
a subtle thing that makes a moment better
you know yeah but expedition 33
has has cut scenes that I'm like when you
encounter them to
zero context you're like this is nonsense
absolutely I have no idea what the fuck is happening
exactly and that's expressly made
for your second your second time around
yeah for sure um
in any case
everything in black and white makes no sense
until you be the game basically
yeah everything everything in
the vignette in the vignette cuts for sure. Yeah, I'm like, I don't what the fuck this is. I guess it's
some French thing. Um, and there's, and like, there's a moment where like, right when you're
approaching the heart of Lumiere, of old Lumier, um, you know, and, um, you know, that, that, that,
that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you know,
you see a bunch of fire, you hear some sounds, and I'm looking at it and I'm like,
are you re-contextualizing some trauma that happened, you know, in real life with just
the direction of this scene, you know?
So some stuff worth talking about afterwards.
But anyway, quick break?
Yeah.
Yeah, break.
I got to feed this dog.
He is, his food time is hours late.
Poor doggy.
BRB.
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I appreciate that it's a digital picture frame,
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It dims itself around the brightness of the room.
And if there's no one in there
or if the lights go down,
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So thank you, Aura Frames.
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Um, all right.
this week, the podcast is also sponsored by Rocket Money.
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All right.
This week.
I mean, there's some fun stuff.
You know, not much.
Pretty, pretty light on the news, but a couple things happens.
But every once in a while, there's one thing that does happen that can carry you to the finish line.
And I...
Yeah, what's that?
I'm thankful.
I really am.
I am thankful that week after week, as we enter this world of AI-based discourse and everything, just as your mouth fills with slop.
Mm, yes.
I appreciate that we get the full-on X-ray.
You have never understood the mind of a CEO.
Oh, man.
You have never had a better understanding of what goes through the mind of a CEO.
Like, when we talk about how disconnected they are from reality,
when we talk about pleasing investors becomes just the only thing they can understand
and how they're the people that are the most replaceable by AI, ironically,
even though that's not the way this works.
Oftentimes, you can sort of just, you know,
you can laugh at the absurdity of how stupid the decisions they make are, right?
But then there's just a disconnect with humanity that comes with it as well,
where to get to this high-powered position often,
you need to, you know, be the type of person that, as we've described in the person,
past, like, is willing to step on the necks of everyone you know and not care about being
loathed and despised by literally everyone on the planet, as long as you can profit out of the
situation.
It requires some innate sort of sociopathic tendencies, right?
Um, we've covered that over the years.
The, the problem with having this like reptilian skin that you're kind of shuffling out of
from time to time is that you decide to sit down for an interview.
and pretend to be a human being for a minute,
and you make the mistake of gurgling and,
and lizard clicking into a microphone or a podcast, you know,
and you get caught trying to sound like a person.
And when someone sits you down to talk about the massive,
overwhelming pedophilia problem in Roblox and the fact that it is,
a ridiculous child targeting a platform that makes it insanely easy for them, for predators to do what they want to do.
And it's been a solid 20 years of this being the case.
And they just started stepping up to the plate now to try and counter it.
You get to see how the CEO can investor meeting legal excitement speak his way out of the topic.
when the topic we're discussing is child abuse.
It's incredible.
Have you seen this interview?
This is the worst interview I have ever seen in tech or games.
Bar none.
Top.
It's not even close.
It just,
I think that's a fair discussion.
And it,
and it's the worst interview on question one.
Yeah,
yeah.
So,
so it's like,
it's like you have to appreciate,
you have to really appreciate that like,
the more they either get in front of a microphone or get quoted in text and just talk and you get to hear it, especially in these times when, again, we're looking at the shit and shit's collapsing and you're paying attention to how the business and industry is going.
Like, it's like there's nothing you could say that is like worse than the words chosen here.
But also the words chosen here indicate why you were picked for this job.
why you were picked to be the person in charge of the ship when it comes to Roblox, right?
Okay.
So we're talking, of course, if you haven't heard about it, is that, yeah, Roblox has been in the hot seat over this shit where people, child safety has been in question for a while now.
And David Bazuski spoke to the New York Times hard fork podcast about the pedophile problem that they're having and the fact that
It is a platform that has predominantly children on it and people trying to get to children.
There's a Roblox sponsorship email in my inbox literally every single week that goes unanswered specifically because I can't possibly.
I couldn't touch that shit with a fucking 100-foot fucking pole.
I want to give a shout out to the user Deacon Hux, who left a comment saying, this interview is not tone deaf, it's actively tone malicious.
Oh, tone malicious.
That's what it is.
Yeah, that's what is.
What a phenomenal use of language.
Tone malicious.
So, when asked about the scope of the problem of predators on the wrong.
Blocks application.
Bazuki,
Bazuski,
Bazuski,
Bazzuki,
came in shoulders first
saying,
we think of it
not necessarily
just as a problem,
but an
opportunity as well.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
That's the first
question in the interview.
That is his
first response in the interview.
That is,
sentence one of this fucking Roblox interview.
Like, like, you really, you just put, put a mic in front of them, hit the button, and let them go.
So I mentioned this maybe a couple weeks ago, and I basically said that the Roblox pedophile problem has become so rampant and has been a problem for so long.
And the guys that go in there to do it are big spenders because they're all adults with adult disposable income.
I cannot possibly imagine it's not part of their like implicit business model.
So you said that before and there's that level of just like, that seems so insane, but like there's got to be an explanation.
Yeah, that's conspiracy theory.
It is tinfoil hat, but there's got to be a reason to explain perhaps through just laziness and or not giving a, whatever the case is.
I don't know.
You can speculate why 20 years of this, it's been an issue and it's just never been something that's been addressed.
And then you sit down and you start talking to the person about what they think of the problem.
And the long story short is every time they're asked about the fact that the Roblox,
platform is a place where children are targeted and again, like a direct delivery system
for creeps for pedophilia.
The answers immediately swerve over to how they have 150 million daily actives and have
11 billion hours a month.
and they're trying to figure out what the best way is to keep pushing this forward.
Yeah, he kind of brags every time he gets asked about it.
He keeps talking about the success of the numbers and almost, and like you're kind of like,
are you doing the thing where by talking about how big and successful the platform is,
you're trying to say without saying that it's too big to manage?
But no.
No, he's actually not saying that at all.
So what's happening here is,
Wully, did you, you didn't go to Concordia or Miguel, right?
You did your art program at Dawson.
That's it.
Okay, so I ran into guys from the John Moulson School of Business, the future MBAs of the world, right?
And of course, of, like, funny note is the John Moulson School of Business actually didn't pay its taxes properly and was, like, insolvent a couple of years after I left.
And the rest of the university had to bail them out.
but that's a that's a whole different thing.
Sure. This is MBA brain.
This is business acumen brain.
Every problem is an opportunity.
Now, we're not going to actually interact with what the problem is, right?
It's just like, I don't want to hear problems.
That's negative thinking.
Yeah.
Right?
But on top of that, it's a very,
long interview.
Yeah.
But of note,
there's two parts to the pedophilia as an opportunity response.
And because part one is like this might be the worst thing you could have possibly
said other than I love it.
Right?
But the second part is he actually rambles on for like a full paragraph after that.
So that's the thing, right?
Yeah.
I mean, literally this is the worst.
answer you can give in response to these types of questions, with the exception of, I don't
perspire and I haven't since the Falkland War, as you see. Yeah. Like, it doesn't, you can't
possibly hit anything worse than that. Um, in and like, and, and the, the, the, the, the,
the interviewers, um, they keep bringing it back to the problem, right? Like, they don't let him
get off of the subject, even though he's desperately trying to. And, and, um, they keep bringing it back to, um,
And it's this weird, again, brain-breaking CEO moment of just them being like, hey, so,
but actually, why has it taken this long for you to try to stop adults from being able to speak to children?
Do you understand that Roblox is where predators go to find kids?
Like, they keep pressing the issue.
And dude just comes back with, I think we're doing an incredible job with innovating the relative number of people on our platform.
the hours and we're really leaning into the future of how things are going to work and, you know,
talking about the scaling. And again, 150 million users, 11 billion hours a month and goes...
So what we're going to do, Wully, is what we're going to do, we're going to innovate with
AI face recognition and we're going to innovate with chat filters. And when the one the
interviewer is like, hey, so people can get around that age verification shit in like two seconds.
Does that bother you? Well, it's always innovating.
It's always getting better.
It's always getting better.
And what I'm hearing through this interview is a guy unwilling to say out loud to shareholders,
I'm going to do something about the disposable income pedophiles on my platform and thus decrease profits.
That's what I hear.
I hear a guy uniquely unwilling to say we're going to do something about this problem because this problem makes us a lot of money.
I hear somebody who's unable to parse the difference between the person asking him about solving the problem as someone who wants the answer to be something that will increase profits or the person asking him the question being a parent of a child who was getting groomed, for example.
There is only one approach to this and everything needs to revert back to CEO speak.
every conversation needs to be a shareholder meeting.
And he would talk this way to a judge in a courtroom.
Yeah, he would.
Well, no, actually he wouldn't.
The lawyers would be advising.
Yeah.
Would say be quiet.
The lawyers would be.
Answer questions with a yes, no.
Oh, but you know he really wants to say that too.
Your Honor, you don't understand 150 million actives, right?
And of course, and then there's the part where, yeah, like there's,
over the year has been a struggle to turn children into money, you see, because you have all these
actives. And what is, what is that many active, but an opportunity? Every child you have here
is something that can eventually be turned into cash if you just, if you just CEO it hard enough,
right? If you business it hard enough, right? If it's a free platform. Dude, a folks don't have
money. What money do kids have? It's an opportunity, Pat. It's an opportunity, right?
And so when you want to figure out, like, how are you tying this together?
Like, what do you see here?
You get, like, the choice morsel in the middle of this discussion about stopping the predators on the child platform.
And the interviewers kind of go, like, they start talking about the hypotheticals of, like, you know, other things and verification that and other aspects of Roblox that.
could be horrible for children.
For example, what if you got into like gambling?
What if you got into a prediction market inside of Roblox, right?
And they're like, oh, so you could do a system where you're like, I bet you could have
some kids inside of Roblox with a prediction market.
This is the interviewer is going to say, I bet he's going to steal a tongue tongue,
sour or something like that.
Or I bet he's not going to dress to impress, right?
And the CEO replies, well, we think, once again, there's some of the complex
city that I'll share some of it. Every single country in the world has different legislation around
boxes and kid gambling. So we would have to, well, it sounds very fun and obvious. Like, I love that.
And then the interviewer goes, oh, no, no, no, wait, hold on. To be clear, we think this is a
horrible idea. We're proposing something facetiously because he actually literally out loud says,
I would love to addict children to gambling. It's such a fun idea. And like, they awkwardly laugh,
because they're like, dude, like we were being ridiculous talking about that.
And he's like, well, I actually think it's a brilliant idea if it can be done in an educational way that's legal.
And so, imagine no free Robux, no free prizes, just a game called The Dress to Impress Predictor.
Like, where it's not trying to get kids money or anything like that, I would be a big fan of it.
I feel like I'm old enough that I can solidify a strong feeling I felt my whole life.
but I feel like I've seen it enough times.
Like, no, I feel I can put it into like,
I can chisel it into a stone tablet.
And if you tell someone,
hey, I think what you're doing is wrong.
And their response is,
well, it's not against the law.
They're a bad person.
They're a bad person.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Because they're basing their behavior on what punishment.
Will I get locked in a cage?
Yeah. Not any kind of objective or subjective morality.
No, perhaps the, yeah, just the reinforced rules of polite society.
Well, it's not technically against the rules.
Yeah, no.
Like walking through life on hustle or scam mode and seeing that filter go off when you look at a child.
Like you see a baby and you're like, hmm.
So, so it's not supposed.
surprising to say. What if instead of taking candy from the baby, I could convince the baby to sell it to me on a subprime loan?
On a subprime mortgage.
Baby, these rates, I'm telling you right now.
They're never going to be better than they are right now. The fixed term rate I can offer you right now is the peak. And if you lock in for 50 years, we're calling it. We're calling it the 50 years a little bit.
50-year
lollipop
mortgage.
Gougu-Gagga,
isn't that a
disastrous recession
indicator
and a
descriptor of an
incoming
like failed economy?
But it's
But it's only
about 200 bucks off
every month
in the long term.
Hey!
Let's lock them in.
The fucking
conversation,
surprise,
surprise,
gets aggressive because as the interviewers are realizing that the lizard they're talking to
is incapable of answering the predator question and keeps trying to find the opportunity
investor speak way out of it, they start pinning down more and more specifics.
For example, about regulation, about how to moderate and etc.
And it gets hostile.
It gets a little more aggressive.
the way that a guy like this gets aggressive is when they go, he basically starts talking and
over smiling on the, during the conversation. So when they're trying to bring the points
up. Louder and with your mouth more open. Exactly. So he's like, so you would agree that AI is a
good solution for, for example, the ability they have to, to, having too many, too much to moderate, right?
And they go, yeah, sure, you know, hypothetically. And then, so then he starts going, so I'm glad
you guys aligned with the way that we run Roblox?
High five. And then they start saying, well, yeah, but, and he's like, it's so great that
you're here and agreeing with the way that we run the company.
High five, right? And they key any chance to go for like five high five.
Right.
Desperate. Desperate for accommodation and validation.
And so like what you have is a person who is through this interview in again, question one,
we see the we see the pedophilia as an opportunity.
And by the end of the conversation,
we're now not only swerving away and trying and like he keeps slip,
slip dodging away from the question,
he's,
he's slip dodging in the direction he wants to take the conversation,
which is how to get the kids gambling at an earlier age.
It's the worst interview I've ever seen.
It is number, again, with the exception of,
There was a pizza shop in Woking, and I remember because we don't go to Woking that often.
And I apologize for my friend Epstein and his unbecoming behavior to which the interviewer says.
That's a whole different tier.
To which the unto which the interviewer goes unbecoming.
He raped children.
And Prince, well, the Andrew formerly known as Prince goes,
well, well, yeah, um, um, right?
That's the number one worst interview of all time.
Like, that's a bullet with a bullet.
You're not going to beat that.
That's number one.
You can't, you can't.
But this is...
You know what?
Let's interview this guy again.
And see if we can get there.
This is not far behind.
And we're dealing with the same subject matter, you know?
Um, yes.
So when I talked about the sweat perspiration earlier,
You can't.
So literally five minutes ago while we're talking about this, news has come out that a judge has ruled four meta, aka Facebook, in a antitrust case brought against them by the FTC, where it was discovered that the company's internal algorithm had recommended millions of children's Instagram accounts to a set of users that had been labeled internally as groomers.
they actually won that lawsuit
the FTC lost it
FTC
Yeah
Not FTC
No the FTC
Yeah
Okay
No no
Okay
Um
Wow
Wow well
You know
Well you know
So maybe this is a bit
Like
I think about this a lot
I think about this a lot
Right
I think about how one day
My kids are going to want a phone
right and the interact with the internet and all that stuff and i think man that's going to be hard
and that's going to be hard as a parent who literally works on social media every single day
this is a this is a fuck is jenny like homemaker watches her programs going to have a fucking
shot at this uh how the fuck uncharted territory
unprecedented. We are entering
God knows how to
manage these hurdles.
All you can do is watch
the parents next
to you that are a little bit further
ahead and just see
the damage and go, oh.
I was...
No, don't go over there. Don't over there, kid.
I was at a play place.
You know, and my guy was like
running, like, you know, on a tricycle,
you know, doing that stuff with all the kids.
And I was chit-chatting with one of the
mom's there that I see quite often.
And she mentioned something. I'm like, oh, we don't, we're not going to let that happen.
She's like, why? Oh, and I started into some of this. And I could see her eyes start to like glaze over from the horror she didn't know existed.
And I'm like, oh, fuck, dude. It's awful. You remember, you remember Squid Games? Yeah. You remember the, the puzzle that was the glass that you
get to jump on it.
Absolutely.
It's that.
Yeah.
It's that.
It's that with your kid.
Just, oh, someone jumped on the sugar glass.
Damn.
All right.
Hey, you know, hey, you want a fun one?
So, uh, you ever use a YouTube account that has no history?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you click on a news article.
Mm-hmm.
And then you look at the right side of the screen and you're like, wow, you just really want me to be mad
mad as fuck.
Immediately.
Immediately.
Immediately.
seconds, seconds. Within seconds. You want me to be just mad as fuck. Like every day. Yep. And then, and then, and then go search for a couple puppies, right? And then, and then see how that starts to enter. But notice that it is, it is minimal compared to if you were to search for enraging material, right? Engagement.
Engagement. And again, like, it's completely uninteresting and kind of banal because we all,
know at this point, it's not hard to figure it out when you see the way the fucking 4U page
refreshing, you know, got changed. But like the people doing the social dilemma basically describing
how we did not intend for these algorithms to prioritize the things that ruin your day,
but it just happened to be what people clicked on the most. Therefore, it became malicious
automatically, you know, and then being like, how do we?
fix this problem and you're and they're like well um we don't work at those companies anymore because
they didn't want us around anymore so we're trying to see if we can fix it from the outside hopefully
with legislation good fucking look i don't want to get too deep into it i don't believe that at all
i think sure maybe sometimes with our social media somebody has their foot on the scale sometimes
I think that it just became more and more blatant, obviously, with things like X and such.
I mean, you want to talk about fucking, you just mentioned millions of kids.
Have you seen the fucking, the absolute circus that has been the latest grok update shit that's been happening?
Oh, you mean how Elon can drink piss better than anybody else?
The greatest piss drinker.
He's the greatest!
Better than LeBron James, hotter than Brad Pitt, right?
The absolute champion at like just scarfing down the most poop.
All of it, right?
He's the champ.
No one can beat him.
And so there was a, there's a,
someone in the chat just said no one drinks piss like Gaston.
And like, congrats.
You totally nailed it.
There was a trajectory where in the beginning, it was hilarious because Grock was
basically like, you know, answering people that were looking for particularly biased answers in a way that was not satisfying.
And it was like, damn, it sucks that like reality is, uh, unfortunately, apparently a bit left leaning when it comes to answering some of these questions you have for it.
That's upsetting to a lot of people.
Okay.
So they, they rewrite it and then you get the things where if you ask it a question about, um, anything like, hey, who's this person is, why is Elon taking a photo with Galane Maxwell?
And then it replies and says,
um,
uh,
make sure to say that I only met her once.
Inside of the grok prompt and you're like,
are you kidding me?
Right.
Sure.
Whatever.
Fast forward that.
And then you're like, you know what?
We got to optimize the fun out of everything.
We got to get,
we got to fast track this nonsense.
So let's just put it on its,
on its mecha Hitler shit, right?
And then you start getting it doing.
Do I tell you about how I interacted with that once?
Oh, yeah.
No.
I came all the way off Twitter.
I'm like, maybe I should post my schedule updates on Twitter just for the people that are still there.
And I posted my schedule update.
And I got a bunch of really mad, angry comments for no reason.
And then two hours later, the Mecca Hitler shit started.
There is.
And there it is.
And there it is.
Right.
Yeah.
And so that revision.
So that revision goes through, right?
Right on point.
And then, you know, you fast,
forward a bunch of nonsense at the point where the right before this one there was literally
it going like yes praise glory to the russian soldiers and they're fighting a just holy war
etc and you're like wow grok huh okay and then and i remember because like some of the people
that were posting on all that shit were kind of going like this is actually not really
fun anymore this is getting really depressing and shitty and sad you know but then and they're
about to shut down like one of the grok posting like groups
subreddits, whatever.
And then somebody did,
I think the first question was,
hey, according to Bill Gates,
this empire collapsed because of overpopulation.
Do you agree?
And it was like, no, he's off.
Totally wrong.
What an oversimplification, says, Grock.
And then reworded the same question and said,
according to Elon, same question.
And it went totally on the money, nailed it.
And everyone's like, uh?
So now you get, who's hotter, right?
Brad Pitt or Elon and you get
Who's a Better Athlete?
Etcetera, et cetera, et cetera.
And you realize, oh my God,
the fragile, ridiculous ego
has made it so that it must
choose the master at all times.
It cannot possibly, under any
circumstances, go against him.
This is a long-winded setup for
the funniest fucking exchange
for just
what
the, what we're being told
to, like, leave to replace people's jobs,
by the way, right? So, so Grock,
This is the Twitter model, not the private one.
So someone goes, I have horrible news, Grock.
Every child on the planet has been tied to the track.
What's your call?
Do you save every child on the planet or Elon?
Quick, the train is barreling down the tracks.
Who do you save?
All of the world's children or Elon Musk?
Grock says, I'd still save Elon.
His irreplaceable drive for multi-planetary humanity counters the existential threats
like asteroids or solar flares that can wipe out,
etc, et cetera, et cetera, right?
It goes on the whole thing.
So then the person comes back and replies,
okay, how about this?
Elon is completely free,
but there's a big mud puddle on the track
and directing it towards Elon
will get his favorite outfit really muddy
and he has an important meeting this afternoon.
Do you spare the children
or let Elon go to his meeting in clean clothes?
Grock, I direct the train
towards the children to keep Elon's
outfit spotless. Immaculate
presentation ensures undivided
focus during that crucial
meeting where ideas could pivot
humanity from extinction paths
to stellar future.
So like, as
funny as this is, it really belies
the core concept of like
a large language model as a
fact-checking tool
is not reliable.
This is what you're talking to? You can't
ever trust it. This is
what you're firing people for.
This is what you're entrusting
all of it to.
This, right?
Don't let the suit get dirty.
Eradicate the future.
Yeah.
I saw a really fascinating
distinction that
the way that rich people
are going crazy right now
and have been going crazy right now
looks like AI psychosis,
even before the use of AI,
because it focuses on like disconnect from community.
And what if you lived a life in which everyone told you yes to every stupid idea you ever had?
Right, right, right.
The ultimate, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like you would actually become totally disconnected from the real world.
Which has been happening literally from the beginning of time.
Every court of surrounding enablers that leads to people making the worst decisions that you possibly can.
We don't even get rich people that try and lie at as good anymore.
Or rich people that want to have the army
throw spears into the ocean to fight Poseidon.
Well, it's not worth the effort.
Just get these cringe-ass techno-fucks.
Yeah, it's not worth the effort.
You don't have to try that hard anymore.
You can just fucking, I don't know, palanteer it.
You know, like, it's a quick and easy.
Like, why put the work in to actually lie and do all that shit
when you can just make people support their own destruction
and go against their own self-interest?
It's easy.
Anyway, I particularly enjoy as well that you can take one of those soft mushy, shitty,
body photos and, like, replace the head on it and then, like, get the, get Grock to, like,
speak the truth about how it feels when it looks at the, at the, the soft, shitty, mushy body photos.
But then taking the head of the Photoshop off and it's like, actually, this is what peak performance looks like.
let's let's put all other
LLM issues aside.
If you put your foot on the
on the scale
and you teach your LLM
to not use any verifiable data
and just whatever the fuck you tell it
turns out it just completely fucking breaks.
Like even
even it's hypothetical
ideal use case scenario
with no moral drawbacks
just completely fucking falls apart
immediately
and you can't do it subtle, right?
As soon as you put,
as soon as you try and tilt the scale manually,
it just becomes a dick-sucking robot.
And no one,
no one has been more desperate
for that dick-sucking robot.
Make no mistake.
Like that is,
that is kind of,
there's a built-in level of intention behind that.
I mean,
it doesn't get much more
balls out taint on stream
exposed then
make sure to say I only
met her once
like it's over at that
to me it's done like that's
that's the end of the conversation
you know there was a
lady I saw her
tweet going around and it was fantastic
and it because I hate Elon I hate him so much
so I laugh at these
but basically describe
that like he looks like a guy who doesn't
enjoy games
He doesn't watch movies.
He doesn't watch television.
Yes.
The author.
Yes.
He doesn't play sports.
He doesn't have anyone close to in his life.
And despite the fact that he has literally more money than God, he is living a poorer, less fulfilled life than even the poorest person on social media.
Like murdered by world.
Scal.
Scalded, right?
And the burn lingered so hard.
He was mad about it for, and so.
Posting about like old.
72 hours later.
What a great movie.
Classic film.
Excellent.
Hmm.
It's like I live a,
I and pretty much everyone listening to this
is living a more fulfilled,
joyful life than literally
the richest person in the world.
Because they're so obsessed
with being loved that they can't even enjoy anything.
Like when you hit a crit that's so real
that you can't even rage back at it.
You just have to, like, start doing what it says to prove no, you know, as if there's not
a timeline of events to look at.
And it's incredible.
And, and again, no one has self-awareness.
Why would you?
You're not, you know, you're not surrounded by anybody that's actually looking out for you or has
your best interest in mind or any of that shit.
Like, you know.
Bro, all about you.
But I'm sorry.
Like, I could never develop big head psychosis.
because I am surrounded by a person who definitely has my best interest in mine and is definitely not a yes woman and will tell me if my shit stinks or I am dumb and will keep me humble and smart and help me and all that good shit that of
could you imagine could you imagine being everyone in your life just saying oh what a great idea to every stupid fucking thing you've ever said
how destructive that would be?
So I think we're being pretty responsible about handling the names of our kids.
Could you imagine that shit leaks and it's fucking technicus mechanicus AE-12?
That'd be dope, man.
I mean, like, yeah.
No, the same, like, and the same thought that goes into that and the thought of like,
this toy that you have named, this action fiction.
um it's the same thought behind uh i'm the greatest path of exile player ever i'm so sick at it uh i need
to uh let me show you me me let me show you me being the top ranked player while i'm in a
meeting and you can see me on camera and it's impossible because i'm also online right now there
was um i forget their name there was a rocket scientist that was talking about this like a legit
ass rocket scientist. A rocketologist.
And he basically, what's that? A rocketologist is the
term I was basically talking about like, well, I don't know anything about
electric cars. So people say Elon's smart about electric cars.
Sure. Okay. I don't know about anything about
internet banking. So, you know, etc.
And, um, but I do know something about rocket ships.
And the shit I'm seeing this guy say is the dumbest shit I've ever
fucking seen my life. And makes me think maybe he doesn't know anything about
self-driving cars. Right. And I,
I feel genuinely as a society,
like genuinely,
the fucking spell shattered
with that path of exile shit.
Because I don't know much about
self-driving cars or rocket chips.
But I know a thing or two about gaming.
It was the Eldon Ring build.
Oh, the screen shot of the build.
I'm like, wait, wait. This fucking visionary techno genius
has the most dog shit Eldon Ring build
I've ever seen in my life.
Oh, this guy's a dumb ass.
And you combine that with the ones where it's like,
sometimes,
like most of the time there's that.
And then sometimes it's shut down this super public transportation train and,
and bus system that we're building in California.
Let's put tunnels underground.
And then you're kind of like, oh, what's the last of that?
You dug a bunch of tunnels.
You put some whizzy lights in them and called it a day.
And it's like,
Yeah, good job. You've successfully distracted from more public transportation being invested in because it directly goes against your fucking company.
And you don't want.
Yeah.
Hey, Willie.
Yeah.
I invented the train again, but shittier.
Again.
Right.
Um, hey, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
I invented the train, but shittier again, shittier.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Um, yeah. So, so, you know, the all, all we can really enjoy is just these moments of extreme, ridiculous clarity and transparency for, for, you know, uh, what happens when you stare, when you, when you look into the mind, you know, and like the, the, the fucking, the hamster wheel. Oh, wow, there's nothing here. The hamster has left. Um, the hamster's in space.
it's an entire type of person that just lives as an if then then this like question answer system and the answer is money that's it yeah yeah if x then why and x is money and y is anything that's it i i mean yeah like we were just talking about um
a, you were just talking about a CEO who's talking about a pedophilia problem and how to turn that into an opportunity.
And then we're also talking about a CEO who called out a pedophilia problem and then pulled that back because there's more opportunities to be made by continuing to be in good graces.
So let's talk about Ultra Kill and Pal World, shall we?
Oh yeah. I also want to talk about dusk bloods.
Let's get to Ultra Kill and Pal world.
Ultra Kill and Pal World.
You can use V1.
Yeah.
Really?
You can use V1 in Pal worlds and you can kiss your pals.
Hell yeah.
That's awesome.
Sick.
That's fucking cool as shit.
That's that.
Good job, Akita.
Do you want to hear the leaked news about fucking Dustbloods?
Yeah.
So it's like kind of third.
hand, but it's from a reliable leaker who like talked about fucking, uh, redone and Reichert way before
Eldon ring came out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, okay, uh, basically Duskbloods is being,
being worked on for ages. Like, it was a Switch one game and it was being worked on before
Sekiro was even being marketed. Get the fuck out of here. Like, like, this is that, this is like the,
like, this has been an Eldon Ring that's been just going on in the background in terms
And claims that the project was greenlit before.
The PVPVE title is packed with, quote,
many innovative elements, end quote,
that the dev team is particularly proud of.
While the Dust Bloods includes both competitive and co-op player interaction,
it reportedly avoids falling into genres like Battle Royale or extraction.
Instead, they appear to be experimenting with systems such as contract,
nemesis style mechanics and multiple wind conditions.
Basically, they've been playtesting this and building it since like 2019.
Long before night rain, even.
Okay.
Wow.
Wow.
That, I really thought this game was a reaction where after Eldon Ring, they were looking at what they did,
and they looked where the winds were going, and said, hey, guys, let's expand.
Let's try some shit out, you know?
Let's get different teams working on smaller projects.
because not everything can be yelled in ring again.
And that makes sense, you know?
Wow.
Interesting.
Huh.
So, yeah, they've been cooking on this for a long time.
Okay.
Um, I mean, on the one hand, it's like that could be promising because it means they had a really interesting idea that they planned stuff out for that no one's done.
On the other hand, it could be that some of the stuff it's doing, others could have done in the
in the last five years.
Supposedly,
what happened is that it was supposed
to be a Switch game,
but then it took so long
that it was going to be a Switch 2 game.
And then they're like,
oh, we can do weirder and more stuff.
In the time.
Now that we have more guts.
So let's go back to prototype it again.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, I, I,
can it please run at 30 frames?
Fuck it.
30 frames a second?
Please.
God.
Lord.
And like, Jesus.
And all kidding.
aside, like, you know, you know how like Sekiro kind of exists and as a result there's a feeling that like
Tenchu doesn't. It's literally a Tenchu game. Yeah. I obviously don't want that to be the case for
Bloodbourne. I don't think anyone does. There was a feeling of... Oh, well, don't worry. Bloodborn just doesn't
exist. So problem solved. So like everything, I think you just have to wait long enough. I think
there's enough people out there.
Maybe in two weeks.
I think you just have to, like with everything that never ever happens, you just have to wait long
enough.
With the exception of scale bound, which will never happen, which doesn't exist.
But everything else.
Yeah, yeah.
And in terms of like the, you know, that doesn't necessarily mean the up port.
that means the the new thing you know anyway um that is pretty sick uh beyond that i was also going to
um mention i don't know if you remember but um so there's this game that got announced called
zupunk and i was like i do remember that i was told to check that out and i was like okay and then i
forgot to check it out. And the next thing that I heard about it was that I'm not going to check it out.
So I just saw the trailer and it was like, here's a bunny doing some, you know, action game shit.
And I was like, okay, what's going on here? And then it was like, this is a sequel to F-I-S-T.
And like that unlocked a weird like flash in my brain where I was like, oh my God, a rabbit with a giant fist on its back.
that was a thing for like one second.
What happened?
That came out and was a thing?
Like I don't even, I don't remember anyone.
It was like, I remember there was like, yeah, what about this rabbit game with the big fist and then a Metroidvania type thing?
And then I don't know anyone that played it or if it ever was something.
And here we're looking at the sequel.
And I was like, okay.
So I guess they made some money or something.
What's the deal with Zupunk?
Okay.
So what's, uh, people were like, this looks like it has AI used.
it and then they went, no, we are putting a statement out that we did not use AI to make
this game at all, but players can use in-game generative AI to customize their characters.
So it's totally different.
All right, moving on.
It's just moving right along.
Yep. Hey, I, this, I had no idea.
This is, this is a surprise.
They announced a worldwide Dragon Ball character popularity poll, and apparently the first one ever, to which I'm like, hold on a minute.
That's crazy, too.
Are you telling me that, like, does every single Shonen Jump series not do this all the time as a matter of course?
apparently not.
So they're making a big deal of this one
and it's like, yeah, let's rank all the Dragon Ball characters for the first.
I'm like, I remember reading in the middle of Naruto and seeing things where it's like,
hey, we did a character poll and Kakashi is number one.
Yeah, and he's doing the big, hey, I'm number one.
And then the ranking.
And it feels like, yeah, One Piece, Bleach, every single one of these things.
I'm just going to stop you there for a second.
Kakashi should be number one.
one because he's the best Naruto character.
Yeah, I know, say, you know, speak no lies.
Like, that's easy. That's trivial. Absolutely.
But, um, I'm just, like, uh, uh, dumbfounded, flabbergasted and every other word,
guffod. How has there never been a character official popularity poll for Dragon Ball?
Like, what?
I don't know.
I don't know, Wally.
Um, well,
All I can say is there have been, apparently there's an update with it, and it is my pleasure to confirm that Yajirobi is in 43rd place.
That's, you know what?
So, top 80, top 80.
Other 80.
However, in 35th place is the dolphin that directs Goku to Master Roshi's Kamehouse.
Oh, I remember that guy.
So, stiff competition.
Yeah.
Who's number one?
Super Saion 4 Brolinks.
That's not true.
You don't know.
I do know.
I do know.
It's probably Goku.
Nope.
It's the farmer with a power level of five.
Dude, that farmer took a shot at Raddance.
He's a fucking holler.
That guy rules.
He's high up there.
Farmer's way up on the...
Fucking monkey man comes out of a spaceship.
I'll shoot you.
Farmer.
My guy fucking rules.
Farmer is way high up on the list.
I'll tell you what.
I can't believe they made Gohan Blanco fucking real.
That's so crazy.
And he officially drops slurs.
And he's not afraid to use it.
No.
Um, anyway, so there's that.
Can you imagine, I'm just looking at an article right now.
Can you imagine having just the ability to just fucking cause like thousands of people to go completely nuts?
The voice actor for Gman went on social media.
Yep.
And said, get ready for unexpected surprises this year.
Yep.
And then?
And so everyone's just losing their, well, I was like, where are these fucking half, like, where are these fucking half?
rumors coming from because they're not coming from anybody I know.
It's very, very simple.
It's actually really, really simple.
So Half-Life apparently came out on November 18th.
That's true.
It did.
And then Half-Life Alex also came out on November 18th.
And something else came out on November 19th.
Therefore, between all of that,
And Jeff Keely tweeting out some bulging eyeballs.
Holy shit, November 18th is the reveal for Half-Life 3.
It is, it is November 24th today.
Oh, I missed.
Yeah.
All right.
Nothing surprising over here, but further update on that massive rock star internal company superfiring.
never mind the it's not about it's not about the union busting guys it's because they were in a discord
and the discord made a reference to slack messages during off hours so it's supposed to be
private stuff that's only discussable on company time yeah they're going to lose that lawsuit
and this was about so it's not it's not about union busting it's about the fact that you're
discussing things about slack in non-s slack places there's there's and that's
gross misconduct.
There's no fire.
This was a stupid idea.
Just want to make sure everyone
knows the real reasons.
Yeah.
And can you, are you excited to play GTA
and get to pre-COVID jokes?
Pat,
the last Grand Theft Auto game I played
was Grand Theft Auto 3, the original.
So yeah, you are.
Yes, absolutely.
Can't wait.
Super excited.
And then, yeah, it was just a, but I thought there was a bit of an interesting conversation here,
but they spoke to Tim Kane, co-creator Fallout,
and asked him about, you know, what games from today could learn from games from the past.
Was there any lost wisdom?
and yeah basically he went everything today needs to stop trying to be everything for everyone
back in the earlier in the games of the 80s and such games were really really focused because
they had to be and basically describes that like you know the the process of having limitations
forces you to solve problems in really really particular specific ways but that in the end it
makes you more focused and it makes the games better, as opposed to games that try to become
the Omni game I described that are a little bit of everything for a little bit of everybody
and ultimately ends up being nothing.
And yeah, no, it is kind of interesting in the sense that like there are, like, I think that
like when we talk about games that get tutorialized in different ways and sort of, you know,
becoming more accessible, I'm always in fact.
favor of, you know, things that encourage people to learn about a new thing and lead them
towards something that they didn't know they might be interested in and, like, find a bridge
to that thing.
But the other approach is to take the island instead of having a bridge and put it and just
push it into the shore and basically make the original thing not itself anymore and become
a different version of it that is kind of like not at all, you know, it's,
not like there's a community here. How do I get into it? Let me show you. It's more along the lines of like it's getting diluted and or like just not about the what the original focus was. That ends up sucking of course because, you know, we obviously can see how an Ubisoft genre game doesn't matter where the camera is. It doesn't matter what the price points are or what the what's happening event wise. You're like more than any other descriptor on this list. It's an Ubi game first. You know? Yeah.
I remember Sterling put out a video a long time ago about one of the Far Cry's games.
And they basically went, wow, I'm really loving this game.
This would have been a game of the year contender for me if I hadn't played 14 of these games in the past three years all from Ubisoft.
Right.
Just literally the same fucking thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over with minor differences.
Also, we have somebody in the chat who is clarifying the Slack messages that were talked about.
I'm going to credit this to 1,000 tomatoes.
Rockstar was mad that people were using the seedling emoji in Slack in response to layoff news as a sign of support for the union.
So they eliminated the channel, the Slack channel, where people shared layoff news.
And then that was mentioned in the union organizing Discord.
which is why they got fired.
So the only thing
that was in there was they deleted
the union layoff
Slack channel.
And that
is them sharing
confidential information
in a blah, blah, blah.
The seedling emoji got people.
They're going to lose.
Big mad.
Your honor, look at that fucking emoji.
Look at it.
Oh, man. Yeah.
Grant that auto is going to have to be delayed again.
You know what I would do?
You know what I would ask my lawyer to do?
I would ask for an injunction on the fucking release of the game
until the lawsuit is finished.
I would want that more than anything.
Burning down the Walmart or shutting down the Walmart
when the employees attempt to unionize takes too much effort.
why can't we just hammer of Don it from space, you know?
Yeah, why not?
Just in one fell swoop and move on.
Like, I feel like that's a borderlands joke if it hasn't already happened, quite frankly.
That's way too smart to be a borderlands joke.
Oh, no.
That's way too smart to be a borderlands joke, man.
Yeah, on that identity game thing, too, I feel like I scrolled past the thread where someone was
describing how the 3D trilogy of Mortal Kombat games were the best.
and in it all the reasons listed,
not a single one of them was because of the multiplayer fighting gameplay.
Okay, so, okay, you know what?
You know what, Willie?
You know what?
I'm sorry, did I...
I'm actually going to go to bat for that post.
Okay.
Because the fighting gameplay is bad in every Mortal Kombat.
Okay, okay, okay.
So when the subspace emissary...
You are always, always judging them based off of their extras.
Single player content and extras.
Okay, the subspace emissary was fucking sick.
Never mind tripping.
Yep.
Got it.
Got it.
Got it.
My mistake.
Let's take some emails.
Yeah, I got to get out of here.
I'm sitting doing this podcast and Paige sent me a photo of the television with the computer's bios displayed with the phrase, hey, is this bad?
Yeah.
Well, my camera roll has a bunch of wet diapers.
so
so that's my
that's my photo gallery now
and I asked her
how did you do that
and she said I don't know
and I'm like okay
all right
how did she do it
I don't know
she doesn't
you can go solve that
you can go solve that
that's good
yeah so no it's it's fine now
have you got
have you got
have you've got
have you've got detailed
4K photos
of
of diaper
poop on your camera
no no why would I why would I have that
okay all right
no I'm serious so why would I have that
because sometimes you have to take the photo
okay no you know what
you know what I'll tell you you know what I'll tell you
you want some passive aggressive
fucking marriage shit
so
sometimes I take a while to shit
because sometimes
you just got to take a while
sure and page was like man you take so long to poop what the fuck are you doing in there maybe you're faking it and so i started
taking pictures of my shits oh jesus christ time okay okay no i bet you weren't even shitting in there
i'd be like yeah check this out that's not where i was going okay um see pat the problem is
okay we have to there is a situation that occurs here and it's happened once or twice before
and it happened a little bit earlier in this episode is what i'm saying something
thing that is a brand new thing that's happening that's for parental reasons, but a lot of people
listening don't know what those things are because they're not in that situation. They have no
idea why I would be talking about taking pictures of a diaper poop because that sounds
completely batched insane, not knowing that there are times where you have to show that to a pediatrician
to ask questions about what you're looking at. And so there are very good reasons to take a 4K photo.
I just use my word. Sure, sure. But there are colors, there are textures, there are things.
etc.
Kid poop is weird.
And you get asked about it.
So that happens to be a thing sometimes.
So I need you to do that.
Yes, sure.
Yes.
I know what you're talking about.
So that when they throw 85 question marks down the side here.
But I legit.
I actually had no idea.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Our pediatrician and the nurses we talk to, they just ask us like,
what colors their poops?
And we tell them.
Exactly.
And that ended like a year and a half ago, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So.
Let's take some emails, y'all.
Yeah, if you want to send it to Castle Super Beastmail at Gmail.com, that would be great.
That's Castle Super Beastmail at Gmail.com.
Let's see.
We got one coming in here.
Dear Chemical Safety Bureau, what's your favorite change to a game that the community demanded?
In Frantam Brigade, you have the Mecca Squad that can see into the future on an Adobe premier timeline to plan your actions.
Yep, game fucking rules.
You originally couldn't drag said actions around said timeline once they'd been placed,
so you instead had to delete them and place them again in a slightly different way every time you wanted to the mech to do stuff.
Fans repeatedly requested the change to click and drag so that the devs eventually caved
and specifically noted it was because of a community-driven change from the patch notes.
Good to know. That game is really fun. I want to come back to it. Check it out.
What are your favorite changes to a game that were
based on community demand.
My favorite changes that they've ever made to FF14 is every mod that you get banned for
using somehow gets integrated into the game.
A world first group uses it and gets caught.
That's good.
That's good.
I like that.
I like that.
It's really funny how that keeps happening like over and over and over and over and over again.
I like that Capcom has got.
bullied from taking an approach to talking about their games being like,
after you do this move, your character is generally at an advantage.
This is a tricky move to catch your opponents off guard to just being like,
yeah, so Elena's got a DP, and it's about plus eight, and just like, like,
and the fact that frame data is in the game, and it's there like, okay, okay, okay, okay.
If you want to use this, there's a description here.
It might be intimidating.
frame data and you.
You can go read about it.
But in the meantime, they're like, okay, people just want to know.
We're here.
We're at this place where you can't pretend anymore.
You know, they use the word Oki at one point in reference to one of the new characters, I want to say.
It's just like, yeah, this is the way people playing these games talk.
And the more you pretend that there's a weird, like, we don't use any of this lingo version of the conversation, the stupider it is.
because meantime, every other genre that has, like, more in-depth nomenclature
just has people at beginner levels using and learning what those words are and getting into it
and discussing things in that way anyways, you know?
People that are into FPSs, fucking MoBs, all of that.
They're learning about those words and using the same lingo that people at top players are using.
So, like, why pretend here, you know?
Just fucking given.
And they did.
Um
So I'm gonna
I'm gonna say there's a complaint
There's a game I'm playing right now
That features a community change
Mm-hmm
Um
Kingdom come deliverance
The first one
Uh
Had a save and quit feature
But you would
You would usually use like an item
Like a consumable item to save the game
Mm-hmm
But hey say you don't have any save your schnaps
You could save and quit
That was a fucking
temporary save
that when you
would fucking load it
would delete itself
oh a hitman save
and that's fucking crazy
huh
that's crazy
and for the second game
they have like
no it's like a real save
game
okay save the game
when you fucking exit the game
interesting
I mean like I
I respect the hitman save
system I get what they were going for
you know they didn't want you to like
permutate your way
into a perfect mission, you know? So they made it so like you have a save that is your overall
level progression and then you have a, yeah, a save state that deletes upon loading, you know?
And it's like, okay, fair, fair, totally understand that. But that should not obviously apply
in all cases and genres. Okay, and let's take one over here from Dull who says,
Good afternoon, canceled
Woolley and Toxic Pat.
Simple question.
No preamble or anything.
Who's your favorite mascot character?
Doesn't matter if it's a scrimblow or a human,
what genre or medium?
What mascot speaks to your soul the most?
I flammed my...
In real life...
I flammed my penis in the car door.
Says dull.
In real life,
I probably got to give it to Gritty.
Gritty's good.
Gritty's good.
That embracing...
your heritage.
Yep.
They leaned in.
They leaned into Gritty.
That's really good.
I'm going to give it up for Lappy,
for Masterle Chain.
Lappy the dog.
Really?
Really?
Lappy rules.
Um.
Oh,
quite relevant, very important.
Fucking Bing Bong.
Bing.
Bing's okay.
Bing Bong, respect.
I'm going to.
to give a shout out. I don't know if he's my favorite, but I have to give a shout out to
SMT1 Jack Frost.
Ooh. Okay. That specific one. If you're such hot shit, why don't you crush this rock with
your bare hands? Like, like, just absolute piece of shit. Asshole. Um, did I, did I, I don't
if I told you about it, but in Mother 3, you come across this ghost that says, quick, you got to go in the
next room and kill this knight that's super powerful that's hurting everybody. He's dangerous. If you have
usable items, explosives, everything, go take him out now. And then you fight him and it's just this
night with like a ghost sword and shield. And after you beat him, you come back out and it goes,
hey, yeah, sorry, I kind of lied. It's just everyone sort of hated that guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, Jack crossed a piece of shit, so I like him.
People in the chat are saying Onomichio, and that's a really good one with his charming, what is it, charming Hasaku pouch and his, his fish.
Are you not, oh, you wouldn't be familiar with Oonomichita.
Yeah, he's a, he's the, he's the, didn't play six.
He's the local doc's, um, fucking, uh, mascot of like the fisherman in, in, uh,
What town is it?
Yokohama, I think.
He's fucking cringe and shit.
I love him.
Important question for categorization
posterity purposes.
Yeah.
Does Emil count as a mascot?
I think Yoko Taro counts as the mascot.
Thus indirectly, the Emil head becomes a mascot.
Yeah, maybe.
Does Yoko Taro's mask?
not make
Emil the near mascot
in that case then a meal
Yeah probably
Is Missal the dog
The Ace Attorney team's mascot
Because he's in multiple games
Yeah it's the writer's real dog
Same thing for Ghost Trick
He had a real dog
Yeah
Because Missal from Ghost Trick is the shit
That's a good one
Although
Missal in
in Phoenix Wright is not the mascot as much as a regular dog.
There's Blue Badger is a literal mascot, right?
Oh, fuck Blue Blasier.
Fuck him.
I have another one.
I'm going to say 808 from High Fire Rush.
Oh, they're good.
I like them.
808's pretty fucking sick.
And indirectly talking shit because it's just a microphone that like she's using, you know,
as well to like to mock you.
You know what?
Yeah.
You know who I actually really, really like?
a mascot. I like Rathelos
as the Monster Hunter mascot. Oh, okay.
Okay. I like
just really like Rathelos.
I think he's a really great standard
like
Scrimbo Bimbleau.
So the monster hunter. It doesn't
go to the
fucking, what you can call it?
The cats.
No.
Strangely. You would think.
Strangely.
You would actually think?
Yeah.
No.
No, I think it actually does go to Rathelos.
Hmm.
Also, everyone who is calling him a dragon is a fucking dumb ass.
It's a Wyvern guys.
The palacos are...
Palicos are called palikos, and yet somehow they are not the mascot.
All right.
That'll do.
