Castle Super Beast - CSB366: Bourgeois-Z: I Take Off Homestuck Makeup Next To My Undertale Cosplay To Wear My Pomni Outfit

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

Download MP3 | Watch Episode Video | Full Timestamps Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@CastleSuperBeastArchive Woolie Got End of Serviced Kingdom Hearts Balance is Tuned For Teenagers Ludwig Yukking It Up! Death Stranding Live Concert Eidos Montreal minus 124 Afroman's Highly Specific Court Case Victory Go to http://rocketmoney.com/superbeast  to reach your financial goals faster. - Go to http://heroforge.com/and use code CASTLE to get 5% off on all orders of physical - Sign up for your 1$ per month trial today at http://shopify.com/superbeast We apologize for any confusion that recent topics regarding Alex's story may have caused. Akali Gameplay Reveal Trailer | 2XKO Avatar Legends: The Fighting Game - $30, 12 characters, DLC character vote Costco reportedly removes RAM from its display PCs to prevent tech-savvy shoplifters, customers claim — GPUs also absent across stores as PC parts become a hot commodity RAM prices are plummeting after OpenAi failed to fulfill its commitment to purchase 40% of World supply and terminated its $71 billion SKHynix promise. BestBuy just dumped prices on its Kingston DDR5 to keep up with MicroCenter. MicroCenter already cut GSkill 50% today. It's becoming a price war in RAM Eidos Montreal To Lay Off 124 Employees, studio head David Anfossi is also leaving the company. EXCLUSIVE: Eidos Montreal Cancels 7+ Year In-Development Title That Cost Hundreds of Millions

Welcome to Castle Night Beasts. It's fucking dark outside. It's not in both corners. It's dark outside here even. That's crazy. In both corners of the nation. Yeah, on both coasts, that's kind of, that's, that's no good. As you said, this timing is Duda.

Oh, this time, this, the time, this time is Duda. You know, you know what else is Duda? What's Duda? These guts, bro. Oh, no, your guts is Duda. My brain, my body, all of that, all do, da. It's still recovered enough now that I'm, like, feeling okay. Still do? Still do.

You know, the DA's... Maybe not so much on the DA. The DA is mostly gone, but not a good feeling. Yeah, no, and I'm not just me. I feel like, I think, you know, Reggie was kind of going through it too as well a little bit there. And we're just... Did you eat poison, holy? Might have, might have gotten poisoned.

Might have had a purple. Just a little bit. Purple mushroom with the frowny face on it. And, uh, you know, that's no good. Suspected because you just, you never quite fully know, but yeah. I feel like, I feel like food poisoning is always a crapshoot. You're always wondering, hey, oh, was it, was it that thing that didn't seem weird? But once you add multiple people and like a timeline of events into the mix, you can narrow that.

You can just, exactly, you know. So that's a fucking bummer. But anyway, that, you know, appreciate the schedule shift here. We do what we could, we do what we got to do. Unfortunately, this means we have to lie like crazy today. I mean, we just have to lie. Well, listen, we've got sponsors and that means we got a podcast to record this week. So you fucking sit in that chair and we do it.

But I guess fucking my state of being aside, the other thing to open up with here is, hi, you might be tuning into this newly on Spotify or on YouTube. Oh my God, it's like a video even. Some people are literally typing, I haven't watched their faces in like six years.

What the fuck? Is that what they look like now? That's crazy. I see my own face every day. So, and I'm sorry. It's right there. But, yeah, no, so basically, hey. Hey, let me ask you.

Seriously, though. You ever see an old picture yourself? Like, from you're like 20 and you're like, ugh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I see some old screenshots of this podcast and I go, oh. And you're like, how long ago was that? And people are like, it was only 18 months ago.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, there's some bad ones. Mm-hmm. And then there's the ones that just live in infamy, like, you know, me doing certain faces. Yeah. So, you know. Infamy is right. Mm-hmm.

You got to take the screenshot with the mouth wide open, like, oh, yeah, you got to get that one right there. And I got to make sure to let everybody know how much I don't like it. It's like those times where they'd get Kretzien, you know, in the newspapers to just, like, where it's like, it's as fucking maximum disrespect to just be like, oh, yeah, he's... You remember the fucking conservative attack ad that ran for one spot, like, 20 years ago? It was like, is this the face you want your to be for a leader? And it was him in like maximum stroke face. Like, you fucking pieces of shit, man. You absolute trash.

garbage fuckers. Like, yeah. And, yeah. I'm sure glad the discourse has improved since then. Yeah, oh yeah, the discourse is better. It has elevated. They should have done a sequel to that fucking ad, but with Justin and his fucking makeup.

It should have been like the exact same fucking script. Is this the face? Oh, man. Oh, man. Dude, how can we didn't get that? That would have been. get like a full TV ad of the fucking Prime Minister and Blackface. Okay, because that's for like 20 people, but boy would that have been hilarious.

My dad would laugh his fucking ass off. Yeah. Because I mean, I want to say like, you know, that got exported, but nothing exported as hard as Doug Ford, you know? So like when it comes to Canadian politics, it's like that was pretty much the beginning and end of it. Yeah. And then they're that one. Is he the dead one? Um

yes The one that smoked crack Is dead Doug? Yes Dad yes And his Yeah

And his brothers His brother's running things That's right Right Right correct Rob's the dead one Oh The live one

Completely fucked it up A complete opposite They look like the same guy Yeah They got that Sibling thing going on Where they look like The same person

And they act like the same person So they might as well Be the same person Rob smoked crack and spoke patois. He was mayor of Toronto. His brother's the premier. Yes, and he's the one that had more than enough to eat at home.

Anyway, what was I even fucking saying? Yeah, hey, you can go to YouTube. You see, yes, you see me. Go to Castle Super Beast Archive and the video's there. Or if you go to Spotify, you can actually click. You can click on it and watch it and you can see the video there too, because apparently our dicks are big enough now. And Spotify's like, yeah, okay, you can get some video.

Spotify was like, hey, what's up? And we were like, can we cop a feel? And we're like, I don't know, okay. Yeah, shit, go for it, you know. Only on the left side. See where the night takes us. I don't know, whatever, man. So, yeah, the deal is that.

If you haven't done so, go over to the channel and click subscribe and do that. I'll do all that stuff. The, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, yeah. And I, I've, I've, the word archive is, is in the title because it's whatever. You can't really change.

It is from all the older episodes, but you can't really do anything about that at this point. So, uh, anyways, um, we have a, a couple things.

We have a wonderful show for you guys this week. Boy do we ever. Once again, layoffs. Yeah, I mean, all kinds of things. Should we even bother? You know, well, more important than all those layoffs, I have personal grievances that happened to me right before we went live. Oh, yeah?

Yes. I have, okay. Personal grievances, way more important. I would like to hear your personal grievances. Way more important than those layoffs. Pat, today is. is April 1st. That's right.

And no, this is not about me getting fooled on April Fool's Day. No, I'm too old for this. This is simply me being the fool well before this. Because you might remember a couple months ago when I reported live here on Castle Super Beast that Tepen was shutting down. I remember that. And that there was going to be an offline edition made of very very much. And you could transfer all your data over so that you'd be able to preserve it in the offline edition forever afterwards.

Yeah, but you had to have the data, which was like the fucking weird part. You had to log in between December. Oh, you fucking, oh, you dumb asshole. You had to log in between December and March 31st at midnight. That's crazy. That's crazy. You had plenty of time. You talked about it on the show.

I could have swore I put a calendar reminder in my fucking phone. That's crazy. Dude, and I booed it. I saw a thing where someone's like, I logged in and didn't get my shit. And I was like,

oh, fuck. And I logged in. And too late. I'm so vex because it's like, oh, that's gone, gone, gone.

That was like a gimmie for its death. Yep. That's it. That's over. That's gone. There goes my shit. And, um,

I'm just like, Congrats. You now know what it's like to have played a dead... Yes. I am the fool. But here's the bit, though. More than that, I take that. But more than that, I have a renewed burning hatred for this new video games economy and dead things and dead online games and the systems. Do you mean end of service? All of it. All of it. I fucking hate this. And I do appreciate that here's, is one that had an end of service that tried to do something that you could like, you know, keep going after the fact, whereas most of them just hit you with a title screen that goes nowhere forever. But fuck me, this sucks.

I hate it so much. You know what that reminds me. Games never used to be like this, man. So we talked about at length about how the Final Fantasy release schedule is Duda. And that's why the kids aren't into Final Fantasy last week. There was a fantastic, fantastic article whose author I can't remember, nor can I remember the title. Someone please post it in the chat as I describe it. That basically went into a long rant and series of details.

Kids are poor. Kids are poor. The kids don't have money. It was the kids are poor. TLDR. I ranted about that in separate threads. Yeah, yeah. About like how are people supposed to get?

into video games when they are broke. I, you know, I had this discussion many a time about walking into that basement, seeing my nephew and all his friends playing Brawl Hala getting in there. And basically I'm like, oh, y'all don't play smash. And they're like, we can't fucking afford smash. No one has a switch. What are you talking about? I was like, oh, shit.

You know. It's more. And here's the thing. It's more than the kids are poor. First of all, everybody's poor. The economy has sucked our entire lives. I'm turning 40 this month. The economy has literally never been good once in my entire life.

It was good for like 10 minutes after I was born. It had a, like, while you were growing up, it had a semblance of looking like the thing that your parents, like, moved into. And by the time you graduated, that ship fucking hit the horizon. get allowance. That ship was gone. The economy was already in shambles. Like, that was fucking bullshit. But the lag, but the lag was that you were still getting advice to go put on your suit and walk down to the local shop and shake hands, you know?

Yeah, if I was three years old, I bet that would have played, honestly. But more than that, more than the fact that people have little money is that the avenues for little money are gone. Rentals. Gone. That was huge. Gone. That was huge. Games in general

costing fucking nothing, like 30, 40 bucks, gone. Everyone goes back and points like that fucking super turbo cartridge being $100 or whatever. That was like wildly

out of the norm. So absolutely trivial. cartridge-based piracy. Gone. Eventually. Eventually. That happened later, but that was there.

And I got there. I always, I was just trying to remember it and I forgot. But in LaValle, there was that one video rental store that actually rented PC games out and didn't get a, give a fuck if you copied them. It was crazy. And like nowhere else would rent PC games for that exact reason, right? But, no. But realistically, the ability to rent. games was how me and everyone I knew grew up played and experienced them.

Like the whole- And also, dragging out value out of GameStop and EB Games' poorly worded return policies. You could extract oodles of value. Okay, so I never played that game of like the return trade-in shit because of my microplay story, right? ever since I walked into MicroPlay gave them a copy of Star Fox and they handed me $3.

I said fuck this forever. That's that. That wasn't the gimmick. Here was the gimmick. You buy Zola the Enders 2 full price. Right? Cost $92 back in 2005,

2000, no, 2001, whatever, 2004, right? Okay, that's a lot, but that's tax. You then beat it in a weekend because that game's like 40 minutes long. You then return zone the enders to for full value in credit. Right, right. Then they disallow that, but now you have $92 in credit.

Now you buy a used game three days after it comes out and used games can still be returned for credit within 14 days. Okay. okay so what do you do you fucking beat 26 games in a fucking year is what you do again i know that so you i know schmup god pat and i know liam used to go hard on all the all the deals right with with the keeping up with trains and returns and stuff um i'm thinking of like well before that was established just like childhood days uh it was it was rentals to experience to everything and then eventually

when emulation became something feasible on and we got a computer that could run SNS-9X and I'd you know I think for the year 2002 I played like nothing but super Nintendo games that I had missed. It was crazy it was crazy right and like

nothing but and so it's like between that and like booting up Neo RageX and like taking it took like half an hour to load Samurai Showdown 4 up but fuck me it ran you know it was like that was pretty instrumental in like going and going and going and getting into and experiencing more and more games to the point we're like oh we know about a bunch about these things now right and yeah that type of childhood admittedly was one where you could play a lot of different games spending very little and rarely if ever buying a full copied thing you know and as I got older like full copies of things started to happen a bit more but it was it was again it was a like in the Super Nintendo into the N64 days, it was exceedingly rare. We would just rent Star Fox multiple times, get that rubble pack and fucking do it until we beat it, you know?

You'd also run the thing that, I mean, you can still technically do, but it's a little more awkward, which is, hey, you, you, you and you, we're going to buy Resident Evil 4. Okay, I'm going to put up 30, I'm going to put up 40% of the price, so I'm going to play it until I beat it. and then I'm going to give it to you, and then you're going to give it to them, and then so on and so forth, and you're just going to rotate the one copy throughout. But now physical meat, like the digital storefront

wants to destroy that. And again, there was an era where like humble bundle stuff used to drop off and it'd be like, hey, there's a lot of games that you can get for very cheap, and that's cool. But yeah,

that overall place is gone now, and it's not that you can't, but there's a lot of games you can play now for very cheap, but the main line franchises, the stuff that of yesteryear that we care about, the big name IPs and all that AAA stuff is, yeah, that is still locked in on the,

you know, $70 or $80, well, price train. And so that's a part of the discussion that was absolutely worth bringing up that that article talked about that we didn't get into last week. It's just like, yeah, fucking cost, man. You know what else that article brought up?

I wish I could remember where it was, which was, hey, Final Fantasy games used to come out like one a year. That's crazy. You know what the kids are into now? If they're into RPGs, fucking Honk-I Star Rail. A new one of those comes out every six fucking weeks. Square will never be able to fucking compete with that shit on the timeline basis. Yeah. Fucking never.

And that's, and this, that's, that's the same re-articulated discussion. about the Fortnite train that was like, hey, you're a bunch of people are play, but you and your friends are all playing Fortnite and it's dropping content regularly. Every once in a while, something else has to distract you from it temporarily. And then you come back to this because there's going to be new shit in here. You know, the article also goes into detail that of something extraordinarily depressing, which was basically a bunch of Christmas gifts for console games went out only for the kids

to be like, I don't understand what I'm supposed to do. You don't get anything by playing. And what they meant by that was like, daily login bonuses. Oyo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Because the first games they were ever given were free to play games

on their hand-me-down phones. And this is where we can invert the conversation to, hey, guess what? Bad parents are ruining video games. Parents that go, here you go, Jimmy.

You're five years old. here's my old iPhone, do whatever, are ruining video games because they're allowing their kids unattended, infinite time on a smartphone with fucking slot machine games. I mean, to be fair, those parents are also getting their credit cards blown up

when they don't seal off the card, and then they end up getting a bunch of micro-transactions that they didn't protect against by leaving the card plugged into the game. That's insane. But regardless That's insane But regardless

The Yeah I think I mean sure that's a part of it But realistically it's just like All every Every game Every one of these companies Realizing that you could like

Pick at the exact spot in the brain To activate the FOMO sensors That we've gotten used to and desensitized to It's all created this Horshit environment. We love it. So you know It's no surprise

That like even if you were releasing games that were like long, good, whatever, all that shit, and they were somehow affordable, it's like, yeah, but if they don't have the dailies and if they, if they're not an ongoing, not a, not even live service, but just a like, if there's a reason to check back once per month, if you're not keeping up with that sort of schedule, then who cares, right?

I mean, you know, there's millions of bad parents out there. who have ruined video games for you and for me and for people who've listened to this podcast. So what do they do? Oh, okay, we got to either go mobile or go big. How big can we go, Wully? Hundreds of millions of dollars big? Seven years big.

Four engines big. We got to go bigger. But then no one ruins video games like whoever the fuck is steering the ship over at fucking Idaho, Montreal. And is just setting fire to like two, three hundred million fucking dollars. and taking a shit on the ashes. I mean, to be fair, it's like, shit was rough for a while now. Everything post-embracer has been like, like, just skeleton.

And yeah, I don't know. It certainly, it's not a company that I recognize anymore. I don't know how many people I still know over there, if anything. But at this point, it's like, I did recognize the name, a name of, the dude that's leaving, David Alfonsie, who took over after Stefan Dastou, who was there when I was there at the time, or right before actually. Yeah, that's, that's, what's the, what's the, what's the number? Um, one hundred and twenty four employees, um, getting fired out there.

And alongside that, uh, you know, no surprise. A lot of people that, that get cut really leads to, uh, loose lips. and loose lips have revealed that a seven-plus year development on a game that cost hundreds of millions of dollars was canceled. And they canceled a DeiSX game to work on. This game was called Wildlands. Now, it was an original new IP, third-person shooter, or third-person open-world action adventure game. And a lot of people were very excited by the promise. of it, but

it's kind of nuts because between this and some of the other rumors of massive projects that were worked on and then canceled at the studio, it's like this is not even the first time something like this has happened.

We are in a really strange spot in the games business where we now have very public Concord and oh my god i can't remember the name high guard it died like two weeks ago high guard oh man

high guard and we are seeing like these like cataclysmic bet failures just like 100% total loss so and i feel like some of these mega projects people are going like all right just cut it now before it even comes out. So it seems like the story with this one is that it was almost done and it passed a bunch of milestones and internally everyone thought it seemed pretty good. So it's just a matter of it did not survive the crash and the burning and the fires. It did not survive the the race to the

finish to get it out there before they fucking started cooking everything around it, you know. Um, I don't know what the, I don't know if we have anything to say on what kind of reception it would have had or what it would have looked like. Don't know anything about that. There's, there's some details on it. The main character's name was River. Part of a group of teenagers called Spirit Bounds.

You'd ride mythical creatures. You'd use magical staffs. It was, you know, there's a whole breakdown of what it was. There's footage that is not being displayed because it's, you know, under NDA and so on.

but this could have been a good game. It could have been a great game. Who knows? No idea. But I don't know that it was necessarily about that. I don't think, I don't, based on, again, I don't know that quality had anything to do with that.

I think it was just the, it couldn't make it to that finish line of fuck this, cut 124 people, everybody leave, go. And, you know, again, seeing the studio had leave alongside that. it's kind of eerily familiar to how when Stefan Dastu left, he left because he said that the uppers, the studio heads had no courage and they canceled another giant original project that was being worked on and they put a lot of time and work into and that the studio believed in. Right. So, I mean, I don't know if the circumstances are identical here, but him departing alongside

the cancellation and firing of all these people certainly does mirror the exact same thing that happened just a couple years ago. I'm sure anybody who's out there that's still working there, could fucking just nod your head with your eyes closed on that one, if that's the case or not. But fuck, man. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, dude.

There's a time limit on all this shit. You know, I'm thinking about Eldon Ring. I'm thinking about our perception of what dev hell is. Like the term development hell. which is a game trapped in development for too long. Oh, man, it might not release. It might get canceled. It might be fucked up.

And I remember Eldon Ring was the last game that was, like, took a really, really long time after announcement. And then came out and was uniformly excellent. And then everything started to take that length of time. Like everything, like, we went from two years. What are you kidding me? To like, I hope this comes out before my son like goes to high school. Yeah, I think, I think three, I think we kind of talked about this before. Like three to four is more or less expected a normal of like a big thing, you know.

Yeah, Skong was obviously the, the fucking punchline before this. But yeah, like Death Stranding was like three to four, right? the takeaway I'm getting because I mean Eldon Ring it's also one of those things where it's like you get to be like FromSoft is a Sony darling

it's like you are fucking you're getting the royal treatment for being one of the most important studios that that is you know releasing games to this platform but my takeaway from this type of story is actually that like you know we were talking about games

or yeah like you know Concord and the high guards of the world and whatever, like, shit where it's like, original thing just wasn't interesting enough and flopped and didn't work. There could be, and then we talked about, of course, the high-fi rushes where it's like you could be successful and great and do all the good things, and it still doesn't matter, right? So my takeaway here is there's games that could be in development right now

that if they had a chance to come out would be successful, but they're not going to get that chance to simply because the implosion is happening too fast. And it's not that your brush stroke wasn't perfect. It's that the fire behind you roasted your hand and cooked the entire canvas before you could put the finishing touch on it. You know, I feel like crash and economics or not genuinely that the long dev cycles are more as more responsible for this than anything. because like the two things that spell doom for your long in development game is new guy coming in, new executive producer, new CEO, new whatever. I got to shake things up.

I got to make things mine. I didn't approve that project, that fucking guy. Or a bad quarter, right? Like a bad, oh, we got a cut. We got a really bad quarter. But it used to be that your game only had to survive like six quarters. And then it'd be out. Now a game has to survive like 18 to 24 quarters.

Well, okay, it had to do that. But then also, lest we forget, let's not forget what the most insidious shit at the time was. It had to survive and also hit that Metacritic 85. Of course it did. Right? You have to hit that, that metacritic. That sweet spot. You had to hit that sweet spot.

You got to hit that number. It's a good game. Otherwise, you don't get your bonus. And by that, I mean, you don't get paid. Basically. Yeah. So there was that that started being a factor as well. Okay, well, look.

I mean, that's all happening. But did you have a week? I did have a week, Willie. I did. Okay. Because I'm sure we'll get back to that stuff. You know what I did with my week? What'd you do at your week?

I played fucking Kingdom Hearts. You played some Kingdom Hearts, didn't you? Did you know? No. The Kingdom Hearts audience is really intense. Yes. They're excitable. Mm-hmm.

However, are there a lot of them? There are a surprising amount of them. There are a surprising amount. I see. Yeah, there's more than six, seven. Yes, we'll be. So I beat Kingdom Hearts One. And I beat Sephroth and I beat Unknown and I beat Kurtziza.

I took out every super boss. on the hardest difficulty in Kingdom Hearts 1 I fully completed that shit in about eight days that game's great it was great when it came out it's great now

every one of Kingdom Hearts ones's flaws is like overstated with the re-release that has the newer camera the new release that has the newer camera the re-release that the newer camera.

That was like the big pain point. Do you have memories of the original release? Yeah, the original release had a anti-player camera. Okay. The original release had you

turning the camera with L2 and R2. That was the only time the camera moved. Yes. So you were running with the analog stick, attacking with the buttons on your thumb using the right analog stick to move your command list around and hitting L2 and R2 to turn the fucking care. It was a lot. It was a lot.

Yes, sir. I have another issue to take up here. You lie to me? I lied to me. I lied to you. By omission. Okay. You told me the character's name was Diz. However, you did not reveal that that was an acronym and that that acronym was for darkness in zero. Well, shh, buddy. That's for you to find out. Are you fucking kidding me, bro? I'm not. I'm not kidding you.

I'm not kidding you. even a little bit. That is absolutely, but it's also spoilers. So, sh for a game that came out in 2000. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't, I didn't realize. Okay. You know what's great about Kingdom Hearts one? Like genuinely awesome. It's a fully contained story with no branches. It has a beginning and a middle and an end and everything you need inside Kingdom Hearts is inside Kingdom Hearts.

As long as you play all of them. No, no, no, no. I said Kingdom Hearts One. Everything in Kingdom Heart that you need in Kingdom Hearts One is in Kingdom Hearts One. Oh, it closes off and wraps up and calls it a day. Absolutely. Interesting. Absolutely.

Interesting. It has a defined beginning, middle and end. It has a little bit of a cliffhanger ending. But you could cliffhanger that ending with, and then the adventures continued onwards. it was only later with the secret movie and the new super boss that's like okay well there's a sequel coming out maybe you should play that little sequel because it's pretty good and what and that's super good game an excellent action game but your journey didn't end there did it it did not but before we leave that i had a great moment playing uh kingdom hearts one where i was fighting sephoroth

which is definitely the hardest uh boss in that game he's he's he's the the the a secret uh coliseum match it's just like hey do you want a fucking one-on-one sephroff with this little child do it um super super super fucking difficult fight uh and i'm older i'm wiser i have a whole chat of people telling me pro tips and keyblade combinations and spell shit or whatever and i'm like yeah i beat him up with with the metal chokobo keyblade even though it wasn't the best, it's Cloudskey Plate. So I was like, I'm gonna be, you know, I'm gonna do it because I'm like 16. I'm gonna do I'm gonna beat Sephroff up with Cloudskey Blade.

I'm gonna do it. And I was having trouble using quote unquote better ones. I'm like, you know what? You know what? I'm gonna go back to the one I used like 20 years ago. Because, you know, for all time's sake, maybe that's, oh, it's way better. Oh, okay. And I got, I discovered, hey,

guess what? I made the right decision then to. I was smart. But this is also proud mode with the XP scaling thing going on, right? It's not so much an XP scaling thing. It's the thing that everything has twice as much health and does twice as much damage. So proud mode is a mode that did not exist in original Kingdom Hearts 1 release. It only came with the later re-release.

so I was also playing it on essentially double difficulty so that that dude was a motherfucker that took me a while and yeah no wrapped up Kingdom Hearts 1 TootSweet takes no time at all all you gotta do is stream 45 to 52 hours in a single week

on just the one game that's all you got to do light work and not got and not get stuck on any bosses and nowhere to go the whole time. That's that's all you get to do. And then I hopped on to fuck. I've been calling it recum.

Kingdom Hearts re-chain of memories. Now why did you do that? I don't know. I was like cool because I was like maybe I'll play another one. Okay. I was not expecting. Maybe I'll play no one. I was not expecting I don't know. But yeah, all right. So what was happening is like, so I talked about this last week when I started, which

was every time you start Halo 1, you know, Xenoblate 1, you know, whatever. The first, the first comment is, are you going to do the DLC for the fifth one? And you're like, okay, can we just back off a second? It has never been more intense in my entire time on this internet as Kingdom Hearts. And therefore the correct answer to why did you do that is because look at those fucking numbers, bro. No. No. What?

Dude. What? That's not why. It's because persona EX. me $2,000 to play through the series. And I was like, buh. Fucking bet. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are you serious? Yeah. What the guy showed up in the chat. It was like, hey, how much would, if I gave you two grand, would you play through them? And I said, oh, if you donated two grand, I'd be like, ha, ha, maybe. And I'd do a really sarcastic little shithead thing and then maybe

I don't know and then he's like oh my bank finally let the transaction go through and I'm like and then I had then you get that then you get that moment on stream where you're like Jesus Christ

I'm in it now wow now oh wow and then you do then what you do is you go okay hold on I have the power to go into PayPal and get your PayPal email address and just send that shit the fuck back. If that was a mistake, a gag, a joke, a non-disposable income discussion, whatever. And then they're like, oh, no, actually, I used to watch your show a lot when things were bad, but now I'm rich.

And I'm like, okay, let's keep the famous Kingdom Hearts game. Let's roll. Hey, yo, meca. Let's fucking go. Yo, meca break, the price is going up. Hey, Sega, fucking call me, bro. Damn, all right. Sick.

But in all, honestly, I actually, I never played Chain of Memories. So, and Chain of Memories is, Chain of Memories is what I would describe as the start of every problem that has ever happened to Kingdom Hearts. So Chain of Memories was a Game Boy Advance game that was later ported slash remade on PS2, which is weird as shit already. Because that's a big hop from like sprites and like single screen things to a fully 3D realized like action adventure game. and people say that it's worse on PS2, but PS2 has more stuff and Alice has voice acting and cutscenes.

So whatever, that's the one that I'm going to show on the TV show. Yes, yes, yes. So I'm playing the PlayStation 2 version called ReChane of Memories, which is one of the, it is genuinely like one of the weirdest games I've ever played in my life. Everything about it is so. range. So, first up, Kingdom Hearts comes out in 2002, 2003. Kingdom Hearts 2 comes out, I think, 2004, 2005. The re-release of Chain of Memories comes out in like 2009, so way after, like significantly

afterwards. And originally the GBA version was in between the two of them and it was an interstitial game, right? So, right? So, right? off the bat, this is a story that is the connecting link between Kingdom Hearts 1 and Kingdom Hearts 2. This was an act of plot violence

on PS2 owners back in the day. So are you familiar with what the fucking deal is with the chain of memories narrative? All I know is that it's mandatory. So step one, mandatory.

Absolutely unreally mandatory. Chain of memories is like more mandatory than like a Metal Gear game from one to the next. It's fucking ridiculous. On top of that, one of the plot details at the end of chain of memories is some characters lose their memory

and other characters remember the events of that game, meaning you're rolling into Kingdom Hearts 2 and characters are describing events that they know happened to people that forgot them. Man. And if you didn't play that game, you are fucking confused. You are confused as shit. And the idea was supposed to be like, well, the characters are also confused as shit. So it's fine.

And it's like, no! No, it's actually really hard to understand. So back in that time, there was, I would say, a decent chance that people owned a Game Boy Advance and a PlayStation 2. Absolutely. That was not out of the ordinary. No. That was a type of gamer. Yeah.

Not me, but hey. So on top of the. fact that Kingdom Hearts chain of memories is fucking weird in its placement. The PS2 re-release itself is extra fucking goofy. So what year did the sixth sense come out? The sixth sense came out in 1999, featuring a young child actor known as Haley, Joel Osment. The movie The Sixth Sense, okay.

Jesus Christ. I thought, I'm like, is there something Kingdom Hearts related called the Sixth Sense that I've never heard of? They're actually related. Bruce Wallace was there. Okay, Goddavit. All right. So, Haley, that was Haley Joel Osmond's big break. And as a result, Haley, Joel Osmond got tapped to play Sora.

In Kingdom Hearts, one. And I'm going to guess his English voice acting was recorded in like 2001. So he's a child, right? In Kingdom Hearts, too, he has gone through a little bit of puberty, right? and thus they age Sora up and he's a little older. Well, by 2009, Haley Joel Osment is a man. So Sora is going from Kingdom Hearts 1 and then five minutes later he walks into Castle Oblivion with a man's voice.

And it's fucking crazy. I'm like 10 and a half hours into it. It's still nuts every time he talks. It's the adventure time problem. Yeah. But it's the worst version of that problem ever. Because it's, because it is literally like one scene and then they walk through a door

and his balls just hit the floor. They just drop. The voice becomes dead. Yeah, I mean, it's, you know. And no one else's voices change because they're Disney characters or adults already. And I don't think that, you know, they didn't want to recast understandably, right? No, you can't read. No, no. So that's what we get.

And so you walk in, and it's a fairly interesting setup. They're looking for, you know, they're looking for their gang in Castle Oblivion. And there's some ne'er-do-wells there. And there's a memory loss situation going on. But hey, hey, hey, hey, do you like cards? I mean, I'm pretty indifferent. So what if we took this action adventure game and turned it into a real-time card battler that still has in the GBA 2D movement and the PS2 version slash current version 3D movement? I booted up the GBA one for two seconds just to see what it would look like and to see that intro because I wanted to see like anything.

that's cool. Technically, like he said, yeah, see what was technically possible. And yeah, it was like two-d side-scrolling, like I'll beat him up angle, I remember. Yeah, and so I, there's something really enjoyable about certain

audience members not keeping up with what's up. Because I was playing this 3D action adventure, card game, turn-based, not active time, whatever. And I was getting, I was getting a little fucking frustrated. I was getting a little

frustrated because there's a lot to juggle. You're running, you're building a deck to do regular attacks. You can't just do your regular attacks like you can in Kingdom Hearts. You build your fucking deck to do your regular attack. Basic attacks. Then you're combining you're combining sets of three

attacks into a hand called a slight. But when you use the slight, the first card in that slight disappears. Pulls right out of your deck. And every time you reload the cards, it takes longer. So are you building for slites, but the slight's all saw and it's and and that but you're also 3D action gaming with your cards so you got to look down and see oh do I have a tax or magic on oh so if I got blizzard on so I got to go jump and do

the blizzard this is not what you signed up for I saw I saw it scroll by going man if pat's this frustrated about this he would really fucking hate the world ends with you And that comment made me understand why I was getting so pissed off. And it was because the game is demanding that I split my attention every single second. It wants me to do this, then it wants me to do that. It wants me to do this and it wants me to do that. I forget it where you stood whatever I brought up past the puck. I forget if you were on my side or whether you stood against me.

I am your strongest advocate. Okay. I am your, I am your strongest warrior. Fuck me, man. The world ends with you. Everything else was so sick.

I just couldn't get past that one aspect. I, I, I picked that game up as a real DS cart and played it for like 10 minutes and was like, uh, just the worst.

And I was like, the music and the character and the art and the fucking viret and then it was like, you take you out your stylus. And I'm like, how about I put a knife in my neck? I actually brought up this exact thing because of something I played this week as well that made me think of basically I was playing the Pragata demo. And that's a great example of playing a game while another game is happening. Yes.

But it does it so well. That's so smart. You know what's so good about Pragata? it doesn't ask you to split your attention. It's great, man. It overlays the new game on top of the other game. Just preach, preach, bro. Like, I'm telling you,

because it made me think of exactly that. As I'm doing the puzzle and I'm shooting, I'm like, this is a super, this is the ideal version of what a game like Twiwi was going for, but it's synchronized. Both games are harmonious in what they're asking you to do. Your attention is singular. And when it starts to overlap and stuff, you're getting, you're feeling the pressure of it.

But the goal of the thing is not a completely separate identity reality over here that you're supposed to look between two places. It's actually the same thing together. It's great, man. You know what? I feel so indicated about my Twewy opinions. because the Wii U GamePad and all the games that did, look at the screen, now look at your game pad, now look at the screen, now look at the game pad, those were all also miserable.

And that fucking core conceit of that whole platform sucked. And I remember even like reading an article where I think guys from Platinum, we're talking about StarFog Zero and about how, yeah, looking up and down at the screen is actually like really frustrating. for lots of people. I'm like, I'm looking, thinking of it, and I'm just like, the pragmatto design shows me that, like, it is possible to ask the player to do two things and to use that tension to make it,

to make it difficult. Just keep the vision focused. And make it feel. It's like a Hong Kong action scene. Don't flood, don't flick the camera everywhere. Focus on the action. And make,

and make it feel like the things that are focused to those two. Make it feel like what they're doing is like, not just affecting each other, but like it, because passing the puck, you'd go up here, you'd weaken the thing and then it would have an effect down here. But like, it just, it's not a complete thought, but it just, it didn't feel as harmonious and as in sync as the way Pragata does it. I fucking love that example of it.

And I was like, oh, this totally does work if you design the game well enough. So, yeah, you're playing, you're playing, you're playing a chain of memories. And you're loading up. cards for attacks. You're loading up cards for spells. You're loading up cards for summons. You're loading up cards for items. Item cards are used.

So you use like a potion and it'll restock all your attack cards. But then the potion gets used up because it's an item, right? And so the game wants you to use slights, which are those three card combos to, you know, do attacks or do special. attacks. So here's where the game gets kind of super messy. Cards are labeled one to nine. If an enemy is attacking

with a card that's number three and you try and attack it with a card that's number two, your card will bounce right the fuck off of their card and be nullified. So you have to attack them with a higher card than their card. Okay. Right?

Unless it's a zero because zero breaks anything. Okay. However, now you get bosses that also use slites and slights combine all the numbers on the card so even nine nine nine slight it becomes a level 27 slight and nothing's fucking breaking that shit right but by doing that you just burned a level nine card and the tutorial explains the slight system as like the second mechanic in the game when you have like 12 fucking cards total and so you go to use it and you run out of fucking cards in like a random battle

and you're like what the fuck is this thing sucks. So then you stop using it and just flood your deck with high value cards I'm true. You're you're fighting random battles that are trivially easy and bosses that are

very difficult and every boss I had to completely rebuild my deck to beat. Right? Oh this boss goes for sixes. Okay so I'm going to flood my thing with sevens and just reload, right? And so on and so forth. And so the beginning of the game is quite difficult because it's demanding that I learn

how to build a deck, do action game combat while running my deck. Oh, is the boss using a nine and I don't have a nine? That means I need to slight it. But I have to make sure to slight the weakest card first because that's the one that'll get eaten up. and it's a huge amount of split attention and it's very difficult and then you unlock

Blitz and Sonic Blade that are slights that are so strong that the game turns itself off there are card combinations that are so busted that

I have literally just filled in my deck with the combo for Sonic Blade five times in a row and potions at the end. And I fought a boss and went through like four health bars in 45 seconds and the boss couldn't even move from their starting location. Because I just hit them with Sonic Blade 40 times in a row. And apparently that's not even the good one. Okay. So the game is wildly poorly balanced.

Okay. It's absolutely nuts. My question was going to be on a scale from triple triad to Tetramaster. Where are we landing here? It starts as Tetramaster and then you unlock the good moves and it becomes triple triad if you have all the end game cards. okay like the the game just becomes unloosable okay

and I think one of the funniest things is as I was playing this people were I kept using I was trying to use the slight system and it kept like just being garbage and the number one piece of advice was just wait until you get Sonic Blade and Sonic Blade will just beat the game

I'm like okay and I get Sonic Blade and hey guess what Sonic Blade's gonna be the game like 100%. I mean that doesn't sound great. As I was describing the world ends with you and we were complaining about past the puck I saw a motherfucker just go dude you just need good pins

once you get good pins past the puck get super good and it's the same start me with the good pins then how about you start the game with the version that it's fun to play.

I forgot about the pins. Yeah, different areas, different fashion, different pins for different zones. You wear this and this area for this. Oh, no. Yeah. Like, I saw some folks while we were talking there going,

like, you know, you're remembering it being way too hard than it actually was. And I'm like, it's not about hard. It's that it was unfun. It's that it was not fun to do. That was my problem with it. Poor gameplay conceit is unenjoyable.

If it was hard but fun, I would have stuck with it, you know? And so now, I like my opinion on, on chain of memories is fucking even stranger. Because now I've built out a deck that's so strong that I'm literally just reading chat and mashing triangle for like the entirety of boss fights. Oh, my God. Okay. Like it's become a like, hey, it's become a chill stream. Well, that's awful, too, because I mean... That is all so awful!

I've heard so much good about how sick Kingdom Hearts 2's combat system is, and, like, this is... So, Chian of Memories was not made by the same people who did want it to. Right, okay. Chana Memories was made by the people that started to do some of the weirder handheld spin-off things. So Kingdom Hearts 1 has excellent gameplay. basically once you unlock guard, once you unlock the ability like dodge roll and block, you can start to get into

a bunch of parrying stuff and a bunch of cool acrobatic shit. Is it anything like Lost Kingdoms for the GameCube? That one's, that swings right over my head. The FromSoft card game, adventure game, that was right over the top of my head. Okay. I will tell you that Kingdom Hearts 2

is a real ass action game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a excellent fucking action game to the point where they, that's where they started the concept of critical mode, critical mode, which is, here's your standard game. Then there's your proud difficulty, which is harder. And then there's critical. And critical is, okay, it's, it's hard. It's really hard. In fact, it's the hardest version, but what we're going to do is give you a huge amount of points to equipabilities,

and you're going to start the game with every, like, core action game ability that the game has. Yeah, you mentioned last week. So you're going to start with Ukemi, Block, Dodge Roll, Perry, etc. And you're going to just play this like a fucking Devil May Cry game. and that and that was also final mix only? Yeah,

that was also final mix only sick. Okay. So, this series is not just absolutely obsessively intrinsically attached

to every platform in the world, it's also wildly inconsistent in quality. Wildly inconsistent in quality. Hey, do you want to play a game where you get tons and tons of characterization of Riku as a playable character?

Guess you're stuck playing chain of memories. Because that's pretty much the only one. But is it not also emblematic of the era that these games are all released in? A little bit. The product of their time, you know? Yeah, no. Like, this series runs all the way from like a four out of ten to a ten out of ten. And it's not like a sliding scale upwards.

It's like it's just fucking all over the place. Like even me not knowing anything about, you know, like what's going on. I see Kingdom Hearts 3 and I see like characters that are in real life Japanese apartments in stuff. And I'm like, oh yeah, this is the square that's cut got Noctus in the city and, you know, is going through that sort of design phase that Kingdom Hearts also looks like it's from that era, you know? Yeah. uh fucking super weird it's kingdom hearts reichain of memories is one of the strangest like i i got i came over to the office about a half hour early and um i banged out like like i went back over and banged out like four levels just to get cards and shit like that in in in 28 minutes that i was sitting here waiting

because I wasn't playing the game. I was actually watching a YouTube video in this monitor and just mashing triangle as I let the enemies walk into me and auto attack me until I could get into a random battle. It is the worst difficulty curve of any game since The Witcher 2. Now, I know you didn't play The Witcher 2.

But you've told me. Witcher 2's hardest fight is the first tutorial battle. Legitimately the most difficult fight in the entire game. And the second hardest fight in Witcher 2 is the second tutorial battle. Oh, man. Yeah. Witcher 2 is the only game I can think of

that has a genuine true inverted difficulty curve. It is a straight line in the wrong direction. It's just, it's such a, and again, you just go look at that It'suno dev talk on the power fantasy and scaling upwards as the game goes along. And you can see the way to do it. It's real clear. You want to have the player feel like they're reaching peak power all the way up to the end of the game. But also you want a challenge that rises up to that newfound power.

You know, if you're basically able to, if you're the first fights you have are brutal because you can't do shit. and then from then on out you just get more and more and more things, but the challenge is just the same. And so thus you steamroll over the things. Then it's like, yeah, that was poorly designed, you know? I went from fighting Ursula in Reachain of Memories and having to rebuild my deck twice to figure out how to beat her to having a rematch against Riku, the rival character, and he didn't even get to swing once.

those were back to back based off of one ability. There is a weird idea from some of the Kingdom Hearts games where they want to have like a huge amount of customization, like tons and tons and tons and tons of different moves. But the ones that do that always have moves that are so fucked up that they completely break the game. Was this meta that was discovered like after the fact later on? or was this something where it's like huge through the course of natural?

This is a matter that would have been discovered instantaneously on day one. Okay, okay. Because it's just like through the- Sonic Blade is a move that you unlock via leveling. It's not a move that you unlock via a secret or you go to a fucking chest or whatever. You just unlock by a leveling and then you go and try it out and you go, oh my God, nothing in the game can deal with this. Okay.

There's a move in Kingdom Hearts 1 final mix called Strike Raid that is unbelievably good. And it's the first of the triangle attack commands that you unlock. And it's the only one to use for the whole rest of the game because it's way, way, way better than any of the ones you'll ever unlock after that. That name is ringing a bell. I don't remember what it does, but I do remember. Strike rate is when Sora throws the keyblade five times. And the move takes like, I think it's 12 to 15 seconds. And he's 100% invincible the entire time.

Okay. So you're like, I don't know what to do. Ah, ah, ah, ah. And you have like, you have like a quarter of a minute to just sit there and go like, I wonder what I'm going to do. Like I used it to get through Sephroft's Omni slash. Should I learn how to dodge or block this? No, fuck it.

just invincible through it. Damn. Okay. Wow. Chain of Memories's story is also that game is a tale of extremes. Everything in it is either fantastic or garbage. Like, Chain of Memories

is like, hey, Sora went to a memory palace, so he's going to remember Kingdom Hearts 1. You know what that means? You're redoing every level. from Kingdom Hearts 1 almost the same. Hey, you're going to go to Alice in Wonderland? Guess what you're going to do in Alice and you're going to run into Alice

and the queen's going to be like, oh, I hate Alice, I'm going to kill her and blah, blah, blah, blah. Almost exactly the fucking same. It's boring as bored to tears. But then in the interstitial bits between, really interesting shit happens. There's an interstitial white hallway in between each zone. where the cool story happens. But the Disney shit is boring me to tears.

That game is so hot cold. Also, that's such a wasted opportunity because Disney has so many things you can go into. So to redo the same ones, it's like... Well, you got to save them for Kingdom Hearts, too. Right, okay. And then, hey, guess what? There's a game called Kingdom Hearts Recom, which was one of the last ones. that is also a complete do-over of Kingdom Hearts 1.

Like almost, almost exactly. Fuck. What a weird franchise. It is the strangest franchise. I'll find, I promise I'll find out someday, but who knows. One day.

Yeah. Well, after I finish the whole series. Yeah, I mean, at this point, you're, hold on, hold on. After I finished the whole series by the end of June. Okay. Yeah.

you got to you got to feel free to hop on for the summer you got a distance right okay i'll grab the the the baton pass after that and let me say i'll tell you what it was real easy to sit there and do like an 11 and a half hour fucking stream of kingdom hearts one because that that's a game that fucking feels great like great action great platforming like excellent voice acting like etc etc etc etc chain of memories is is a hard game to stream for a long time because I'm getting either so frustrated

that chat is being like man do you think you should take a break or like actively like mumbling under my mouth that just fucking this game's okay well oh I lost my I lost whatever yeah okay great great like just petty, like, like, pissy.

Like, ooh. Word of, word of you hollowing out did, like, escape. Yeah. And on top of that, you're marathoning these things, so it's... Or, bored to tears. Like, just... Which is... Bored to tears. Which is horrible for LP purposes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. But it's part of the run.

But I wonder what's going on in Kingdom Hearts, too, man. It's part of the run. Which is, which is the one. I think it's... sucks that the Kingdom Hearts franchise has a bell curve for quality. I think that sucks. Really? Two, it never gets better than two? All the best shits in the middle.

It never gets better than two. So I don't think you remember this, but every time Kingdom Hearts would come up on this podcast, I would say, hey, chat, is it better than Kingdom Hearts too? and I would look over and it would be a sea of no. Okay. So people would ask me,

hey, Pat, how come you didn't play Dream Drop distance or recoded or, or Kingdom Hearts 3 or whatever? And I go, well, is it better than Kingdom Hearts 2? And the response is usually like a chuckle followed by a no. See,

this is, this is unfair. This is crazy unfair shit, though, because now you're just like every, like you're time traveling all the list. nurse back to their teenage years. And they're all going,

oh, no, wait, hold on. You know? Like, people are getting ripped back to fucking grade eight right now. It's like, this is, the Kingdom Hearts is like you can't objectively fucking. No, you know what it is? You know what Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2 feel like,

it feels like Mass Effect 1 and 2? Okay. Okay. Where Kingdom Hearts 2 is like, it's, it's a fucking action game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The areas are huge. Yeah.

And you're going through. big zones and you're fucking fighting dudes. Yeah. And Sora's cooler and he's got a less lame outfit and you can dual wheeled and, you know, all this shit. And then people who like Kingdom Hearts won better, they're like, I miss platforming in like the jungle area or doing the upside down like environmental traversal during the Alice and Wonderland shit.

You know like the weird like Disney stuff? And I'm like, I just want to turn Sora into drive mode where he took. turns red and dual wields because Goofy turns into a fucking keyblade and go, ah, and Perry a bunch of dragoons. Yeah, no, the moment you boot up

Mass Effect 2 and you do the fucking super tackle or whatever, and it's like, oh shit, this is, okay, we're cooking. Things have changed. There's a huge difference there, yeah, yeah. I get it. Hmm. So yeah, Kingdom Hearts,

very cool, not an evenly paced series. Not evenly paste at all. Also, here's a fun one. You know how I said I mentioned critical mode, which is like the action gamer

difficulty where it like substantially rebalances the game. Birth by Sleep, which is KH0, also has that. And Kingdom Hearts 3 also has that. What happens with Kingdom Hearts 3 is that proud is too easy and then Critical came as DLC

and they're like oh you guys want it hard and made the hardest game in the series by an order of magnitude so if I play Kingdom Hearts 3

the options are too easy insane nightmare shit those are the two difficulty levels balanced for teenagers so King Hearts is so weird because like

it was balanced for teenagers but then they just appeal to those same teenagers who are now adults you know what I mean? Like part of the problem with like the choices of worlds is that Kingdom Hearts's age range is assumed to be like 10 to 15 or 10 to 18 and it's like no it's actually the same people who've been playing

since Kingdom Hearts won. so the people who are who are marking out because simba and captain hook were there the only reason they'd give a shit about frozen is if their kids are watching frozen like i don't know anybody playing kingdom hearts going oh yeah big hero six fuck yeah no you grew up with with the the fucking sororikus and and so on um Okay. Okay. Well, at least we know we've telegraphed where we're going for a while now. Oh, shit. Sorry. Yeah. I'll probably play a Kingdom Hearts game for a little bit. I don't know if I'm going to continue to two after Chain of Memories. I might take a break, which is what I said about Chain of Memories before I continued on to it before even changing the stream title.

I mean, it's literally in the same booted up fucking thing. Yeah. You just back. Oh, you know what's super fun? There's two games on that collection that are movies. Oh. They're just straight up films. Is it the birth by sleep 340?

No, no. Birth by Sleep is a real ass game. Dreamtogist is 358 over two days. That's it. And recoded. Okay. Okay. Don't even play them.

Just watch it. Okay. And then what you got to do is you got to. So that's the collection, right? And then after the collection, you got to go check out Dream Drop distance. Yes, DDD. And Kingdom Hearts 2.8, a fragmentary passage.

And then you got to check out Cucks. That's Kingdom Hearts Unite X. Never heard of that one. It's a phone game. Oh. Oh, I forgot about final chapter prolog. I see. I forgot about final chapter prologue, my mistake.

We're hitting up. And you also have to play melody of memories, the rhythm game. That is the only game you play is Kyrie in it. We're loading up before crisis, are we? Do you know what my favorite moment? one of these streams was is I look over in chat and somebody goes, man, it sucks.

The Melody of Memories is a Switch exclusive. That's so annoying that it's trapped on the Switch. And I go, what? You don't have to, it's not, you can't play it on the Switch 2? To which someone fact checks it and goes, yeah, no, you can play it on the Switch too. I go, oh, okay, well, that's useful.

To which someone else fact checks that, no, it's on PS5 also. I'm like, how? Just people Die hard fans of the franchise are just not sure. Damn, okay. All right. I don't think I'd be able to play Melody of Memories on stream.

The game series that you have to mute simple and clean when you play the game, else your shit is dead. Boo. Hey, Willie, you know what? I'm going to show you a screenshot. Let me go into my video producer dashboard. Let's see. Is this?

Yeah. So here is me playing chain of memories for an hour with no cutscenes. Just the environmental music. Wow. 60% muted on Twitch. Oh my God. Oh, yeah. No, here it is.

Here's a picture of the muted bar. for the seven-hour stream I did the other day. Oh my God, dude. In which 90% of the music is muted. And whatever you're doing on Twitch is going to be extra aggressive on YouTube. Yeah. The detection is way worse. Fucking bullshit on that.

And so I briefly spoke with chat and I was like, okay, simple and clean, is that going to get me ID'd or stricken? And the response I got was turn it off. turn it off so yeah I had to sing fucking simple and clean over the ending which was awkward

because I suck that Utata Hucahu Hikaru hits some high notes that I cannot hit so I had to like drop a bunch of octaves it's rough it's rough out here

so what the fuck does everybody else do play like LP in this series just not rely on direct donations over yeah over advertising okay that's that's the answer or genuinely play it 14 fucking years ago and on on their channels that that aren't monetized at all because who gives a shit what you make money on YouTube right gotcha uh uh so yeah that's kingdom hearts okay um You know what's a really fun thing when you play, like, of the first or second game in, like, a very old series that has lots of entries, where you get to see people say things that are so hilariously incorrect, but they're not incorrect when they said it.

So there's a moment in chain of memories where they're like, handsome, but we took out that guy. He's done for it. And I'm like, I cannot possibly laugh at this harder. I could, that might be the funniest fucking thing that's ever been said in Kingdom Hearts. I, sure. I don't at all follow, but I'm talking, okay, you know what? I'm going to, Mega Man walks into a room and goes, thank God, we finally got rid of that darn Sigma. Gotcha.

Yeah. Okay. All right. Wiley. But we got rid of that guy. Yeah. Okay. Got.

Yeah. Just absolutely fucking ridiculous. Okay. Uh, yeah. That, I'll be honest. That was pretty much what I was up to this week. Okay. No.

Did my boy do anything particularly amazing? He did a lot of amazing things, but nothing that would be funny for this show. All of it. Oh, you know what he did? I took him to the park the other day. And we were walking home. And he went, hey, dad, good job taking me to the park today. And he gave me a thumbs up.

And he said he was proud of me. That's fucking awesome. fucking great, dude. It was, oh man, it kicked ass. Good job. Good job.

Yeah. And then he told, he told the same thing to Page, not about going to the park, but I forget what she was doing. But he was like, good job, Mommy,

you're doing a good job. And gave her, like, a big thumbs up. And it was like, oh, man. Like, I was thinking, this fucking kicks out.

I was actually thinking the other day about how I'm like, like, first words often people go for like mammas or dad-as and stuff. And I'm like, we don't use those words ever. What we do use pretty often is good job. You know, and I'm like, shit.

That's more likely to come out first than anything. Oh, you know what? You know what? I'm going to warn you right now. You're going to lose your name in about six months to a year. Your name, Wully, gone from your own household. Because we, Paige now, we're like, hey, Pat, hey, Paige. And then what started to filter in was, Pat, can I have some milk?

And we're like, no, no, no, no, no, this is over. Right. No, no, that's, that's disturbing. Right. So then you just become dad, dad, dad, mama, or whatever. And it's like, no, no, no, your name gets stripped because that shit's fucking disturbing. That's very bad. You got to steer that.

I mean, I do remember growing up with kids. who did have that going on, but those were the, let's be real, the fucking... To me, that's a stepdad thing. That's,

that's like, hey, Steve. Yeah. No, for me, that was just like, that was the white kids that talked back.

You know, it was the, it was the Gavin's. I knew a white kid that talked back to his mom and called her Debbie. And I remember being at his house and just being like,

mm, don't like this. It was, you know, oh my, Where did that parent go wrong? Shut up, mom. I know,

man, I know exactly where Debbie went the fuck wrong. Oh, man. Oh, man, you look, okay, you're a parent now. You look back at some of your friends' parents, and you're like,

and you go, what the fuck was their problem? But now you know enough that you actually do know what the fuck their problem is. And the problem was that they were assholes. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no. You were, oh, yeah.

No, no, no. Make no mistake. Like, there's a lot of, There's a lot of running down the list of just like, okay, all these situations, what was going on. They did the best they could with what they knew at the time. Not this one. Not this one. Fuck this one.

This one hops. You're just a piece of shit. Oh, dude. You're just garbage. And you know what? You know which one that was? You'll understand when you're older and you have kids and you see how hard it is. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Um, bullshit. Hey, if you want to see me playing more kingdom heart stuff

and also backlog stuff this week, go down to Twitch. dot TV slash Patstairs at and YouTube. com slash

batstairs at. Okay. Um, we get to roll through? We are. All right. On my side, uh,

yeah, a number of things. So I, I've mentioned, um, that, uh, Tepin has,

has grumped me. Um, played some pragmata, went through that demo. Um, I really, I really liked what was going on with it. I, you know, the, the setup is like, so far, it's like, you know, not much to say on it. Like clean moon base robots, exactly.

You know, vanquish style design armor and you're shooting stuff, whatever, all good. Dodging, loading, reloading, et cetera. That's all fine. I'm sure we'll get more details as the, you know, as we get a chance at the full thing. But I really enjoyed the fusion of like solving the puzzle. while aiming and as the room get crowded and as things are walking towards you and you're like, oh shit, I got to get out of this corner, jump, dodge, get away from the, the situation. That was a pretty fun flow of events.

I did like what was going on there. And I also liked imagining how complex that would get as like those puzzles got really, really tricky. I'm sure like a version of that where either the puzzle gets really complex or the things come towards you super fast and you've got to be like, ah, fuck, you know. know. I think that boss fight's a pretty good example of like where it's going to go. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, I was also, I saw multi-hack and it, you know, my brain thought too much of what that turned out to be, because it ends up being the thing where you hack one thing and then multiple enemies take damage from it. Um, sick. But what I thought it was going to do was have multiple puzzles pop up at the same time. You're fucking crazy. That's literally we're just playing. Yeah, no, like there's there's there's there's there's a way to go about that that would be sick but crazy where you've just got to release the limiters and, you know, let it be up.

If you're if you could fucking new type your way through that situation, then you can reap the rewards. There's something to that. I'm, I'm down for. But either way. Yeah, just really quick. And it's interesting too because like, because the game has that premise, the death. Demo is really short. It's like 15 minutes.

And most demos these days feel like they give you more than that, right? It's a surprisingly short amount of gameplay. But it's just... Capcom demos are really short in the past couple of years. Because they had those, like, Resident Evil demos that were like... Like eight rooms. And they had the Resident Evil 2 demo that was like the one shot demo. Okay.

You get one. Yeah, yeah. Okay. The thing is, it's just it's enough to get the premise across, which is all they really needed. you know, so I felt like it was, uh, it's, and you can replay the demo and things do change a little bit. Yeah, you unlock new weapons, you unlock a couple new, um, you unlock a new costume as well, like she's doodling and that you get different ones

based on how fast you beat it and stuff. So that, that's all fine. But no, in terms of just like getting the premise of like, yeah, this is how the, this is a third person shooter, but here's the unique thing about it. Um, all you needed was one area, one boss. And you're like, okay, cool, sold. You got me. I'm down for that.

Uh, so. No, I'm going to be grabbing that. I'm looking forward to it. The other things I did this week. So I played Retro Rewind, which was a video store simulator. I thought for sure that was going to be like a horror game. Yeah, you'd think. No, it's just when I saw the thing on it, I couldn't believe it.

You just build a VHS store, rental store, as we were discussing. Put the tapes on the walls, organize them by category. People walk in. And you play your, play your basic game of beer tap. know, like, handle all the busy customers while rewinding the tapes, while getting, dealing with the returns,

while buying new stuff and it just starts to be a lot of tasks that you're managing and everything. And it was, it was fine, you know, I feel like it's, I thought there would be more, I mean,

I played for just a little bit, but like, it didn't seem like there was, it seemed like it was more, I guess kind of like a cozy sort of vibe kind of game, less of a like, here's challenges and here's like, you know,

like things going on or any kind of narrative per se. But you do go like to a dude in a back alley and get some, you know, X-rated adult tapes and things like that. You choose how you want to set those up as well. But I did have to eventually stop because I'm like, it did give me motion sickness. I started to feel some of that. Oh, really?

Yeah. Yeah. I started feeling it. What about it? It was just, um, because you're not like running, right? No, but just the FOV of turning constantly.

to like take the cash, deal with the cash register, deal with the rewinding of the tapes over here, back to people. And in and out, I just started to feel it. And I was like, yeah, this is giving me a headache. And it's not, it wasn't. It just, yeah, I had to stop. You know, but it seemed all right. Kind of goofy. If anything, the, the funniest part was just like all the, all the videos themselves are randomly, they're all, it's basically like, it takes like a like MS paint, not MSPaint, to MS Word clip art over like a larger clip art thing and it just sticks them together and then the two words to make up a fake movie title. That shit was kind of, you know, it was funny and stupid. But yeah, yeah, motion sickness had to stop.

It hasn't happened to me in a minute, but either way, like pulling out the FOV and stuff didn't really save it there. And again, like I was fine in Solar Reaver where Reggie wasn't actually. So, yeah. Really? Um, it was, I guess it's not, I forget that the Reggie also has the most. He has it and he has it worse than I do. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. No, I just, I remember I was the only one amongst you guys back in the day that felt any of that. Yeah, yeah. And you guys were like, I don't know what your problem is. You know, I'm like, I don't want to tell you. But then like, here we got it. And I just remember it was never more like clearly on display than playing Doom Eternal where you go into the old Doom levels.

and all of a sudden it comes back. You know what? That transition moment is actually a little bit like, because you still have your highly like advanced like 3D model gun on the old things, but they have like a filter on the textures to make them look flatter. Yeah, I get what you mean. That exact transition and then you're walking around. in that environment and my, you just, you feel it viscerally in that exact, uh, a game going from

one into the other. Um, was it 2016 that did it or eternal, whichever, I think it was, I thought it was eternal, but whatever, whichever is the one where you walk into the, it might have been 2016, whichever the doom game is where you walk into the retro doom levels that, the, you know, I think it's 2016. Okay. Okay. Um, yeah, so there was that. Got some more Gorotera in as the premier Gorotera streamer on the internet. You are the premier Gorater. So I have a duty and a responsibility. And I've loved it up my Gorater tech.

And I did promise that Gorater would return. And I continue to promise that Gorater will return. You know, as the world's most premier Kingdom Heart streamer, it is a pleasure to meet you, the now long running world's greatest Gorater streamer. These are two industry titans coming together. It's a meeting of the minds, truly. Um, you know, I, I just, uh, I hope that, uh, you know, the views will catch up to for kingdom hearts.

Cause, you know, Gorotera, we're out here and we're fucking blazing a trail right now, man. Um, in any case, uh, so the weekend was a lot of fun. We got to go to So Mad and we had a little. So mad. We had get into locals. So, that's, uh, basically the. in person walking around the venue at a local fighting game event and spring overture Montreal Air Dashers 26, 2026 was the event we were we were at so I'm gonna hold up my hand for a second.

Yeah. They ran a poll about Kingdom Hearts in this chat. Yeah. Right now. When did you get into Kingdom Hearts? 80% got into it in the aughts in the 2000s. That's exactly what I said. Yeah, it has to be that. Yeah. No, absolutely. Well, how are you, the only other time you could have gotten into Kingdom Hearts was like When three came out A couple years ago when all those collections came out

Um, that trailer that I was talking about earlier I saw everyone say that that was actually for four and I was like, okay, so I Yeah, that was my timeline is confused as to what's what but um anyway don't worry the games are confused as what's what great Don't don't feel bad uh yeah it was a great local we had a good time there was you know Ransom some street fighter ransom two x-XK all that good stuff. But the game of the show and what's worth noting is, oh, and I saw someone walking around with an arcad in the flesh.

There was a dude that was rocking the controller that I was showing off last time. And he's like, oh, yeah, I've been playing this for a couple months. It's great. So I was like, let's go. Validation. You've heard about Tekken and you've heard about the state of Tekken and the feelings that have been going hot in the Tekken community. I haven't gotten anything very specific.

In fact, I asked for something specific, and all I got was just like, like, wailing and gnashing of teeth. What I, what I, I'm only getting like an emotion. Okay. So the emotion is agony and despair. So basically what my understanding of the situation is, is that the, well, from previous patches as well up until now, it's simply that the game has been, has gone so far from what Tekken originally was with like, you know, clean things that you appreciate about Virtua Fighter, clean footseys, you know, spacing, side stepping,

um, and, you know, playing an honest match. And, and, and basically, um, yeah,

relying, relying on fundamentals and, uh, you know, a, and a move set that has the, the kit to, chat to handle,

you know, your opponent making daring high risk, um, uh, callouts. right? But by taking the heat system into account and leaning heavily into it and into rage and into a lot of the other newer systems, as well as making a lot of things forced into stances that are 50-50s, you basically make forced RPS the way the way the game is played. And you forced

like, you know, coin flips. And people are like, I don't want to be forced into a coin flip. I want to have the freedom to do all these things and call my opponent out when they choose to do one of the many options they have. We, you know, and locking it into this way is a, like, it's a casualization of sorts to the way things are playing. And it, it dumbs down the complexity into a new, into a current vision that is like, no, you just armor through that. You heat dash through that.

You use the, the new systems to blow shit up and, you know, bells and whistles. But people are like, I just want a fucking doria, you know. Okay. So, um, yeah, people. are really upset with the way interactions feel in the game and so on. And all this to say that there was a fan project that someone started making that basically saw that patch note where the patch said, we're going back to basics. We hear you guys. And, you know, this is after Harada left.

They basically heard a lot of the complaints and said, we're going to, you know, address some of the complaints people have because a lot of the new things people don't like need to be adjusted. it and so the patch dropped and it actually just kind of doubled down on a lot of this stuff and it didn't go back to basics at all and people got new moves that reinforced the heat systems and reinforced these 50-50 interactions right so people went fuck this right fell for it again fall for it again again again again again again award type stuff and not and nothing is admittedly talking to the second players not out not every second player feels this way but a large amount of them are just like what the fuck am i doing here right um all right so i'm watching clips that people are posting a chat about this nonsense.

This looks like shit. Yeah. This looks like shit. I know some people that are like, you know, that are ultimately not that down on it. But I, but there's an overwhelming majority of like, there's a, there's a, there's a, because there's two subreddits for Tekken. There's the Tekken subreddit, which is like on fire all the time. And then there is a branch called low sodium Tekin where people went to just be like,

I just want to talk about the game in my matches and not get into this whole fucking shit, right? And understandable because it's like, yeah, that... I get it. When things get nuts, you kind of just want to be like, let's just focus on what we care about and what we want to play here. And I remember noticing that even over at low sodium tech and people were like, okay, guys, we try to keep it low sodium, but what the fuck, man? So this is like a tragedy because, like, I see folks in the chat saying that there are people

going back to Tekken 6. There is, yeah, those have been the jokes for a while. And then people... Right. But like, yeah, you can go back to play seven. right you can do that like that's an option but i think the the problem is that like i really enjoyed tecan eight at launch right i fell off of it but like if i played this and was like yo this is trash i'd be like you know what i actually want to play tec and eight from two seasons ago

the one that no longer exists like they it's essentially end-of-service um teppen because the version that you want to play and have fun with doesn't exist anymore. Well, so Mauders started doing these things where people saw, like, video of the game with, like, all the systems removed. And it was just characters doing their moves and people are, like, crying, going, oh, God, please give us this reality or whatever. None of this matters. This is all preample. Hey, listen, Sega, Sega, Sega, do you want, you got to get that virtual fighter out, fucking toot sweet? Or, you need to do an old style.

petty ass shit fuck ad of like sick of a bunch of stupid bullshit in your fighting games why don't you try it pure from the source the originator of 3d fighting or enter a brand new game called rush rush huh r ush rival ultimate steel hand because where there's an iron fist there must also be a steel hand and rush is it is is a bunch of floating polygons on a grid stage right now. And it is one person, it is one person going, fuck this bullshit. I've had enough. I'll do it myself. Bro, that's just tech. Yeah.

I can tell that one second. And you jump into rush and it boots up and you press the button and then it goes. And then you're like, here's a polygone fighting man. And he's got four buttons. And he can dash and he can sidestep. And he can even, uh, fucking electric if you do the input or backdash. And it feels good. And one of those buttons is a jab and you can jab, jab, jab, jab, or you can do a big swinging overhead.

You can do a low or a big roundhouse if they sidestep. And the whole thing is like, do you, you can do these slow, risky things or these fast things. And when you block the overhead, you can punish with a sweep. And when you block the sweep, you can punish with a, uh, uh, uh, you know, like a, you're, or if you block the jab, you can do, everything's just got a little, you do this, you stop that, you got this. And it's just a little, tight little circle. And fuck me if that shit wasn't hype as hell. And so we just got into it. And it was a great time with the very actual back to basics tech and experience on this game. And between that and like, you know, the creator basically going like,

yo, I want to make this a really good rollback online experience as well. And this is going to be a real game they're developing out. And just this one character. four or five moves thing feels real fun and we had a great time with it it really is like if you're a tech end player and you want back to basics you can't get any more back to basics than this this is such a shitty situation man if i was a tech and player like a dedicated ticket player i would be like beside myself because if they say we're going back to basics and then just double down crazy insane then there's no hope for the game at all it's the ever That, like, saying the one thing that people want to hear and then doing the exact opposite is batch it.

It's like, oh, you fundamentally don't understand what the basics actually. It makes it so much worse. Anyway, uh, so we had a really good time with that. And, uh, shoutouts to Kyle, who was on the, the board as well for getting to zoom in as I was popping off in Reggie's face and, you know, getting all in there. Um, shit was dope. game looks really cool. And the creator used to watch our shit, so that's dope as hell. Very cool.

Looking forward to it. Shoutouts to rival Ultimate Steel Hand. That's a great name. And other bits that we got up to, so I mentioned it last week. And indeed, the Death Stranding live in concert show happened. And that was awesome as hell because, yeah, brought the crew out, got a nice little booth and watched as an orchestra filled the stage up. Some good music in there.

Yeah, no, you know, not bad. And as this orchestra comes out and is playing and everyone, they have this conductor and everything, and this goober with his colorful jacket slides out on stage with his, you know, with a mask and fucking leaking Troy Baker makeup and just. and Ludwig Forsel himself is like, ah, what's up? And he's like,

he just brings, like, the perfect, like, energy alongside, you know, this, this amazing epic soundtrack

of, like, real serious shit and, like, emotional moments with child. And he's just like, yeah,

video games. Let's just play, everybody. Let's go. And he's like, and he's just yucking it up. And it was a great time. And he crushed it.

And it was awesome. Mm-hmm. That you, saw a little bit of death stranding 2 during that presentation, which included a identical takeaway, which is Sam is not putting that baby in that carrier safely. A million percent. Bro, that actually fucked up the first like 40 minutes of my death stranding 2 play through because I refuse to go down the obvious tutorial steep slope. Because I was like, oh, you couldn't possibly walk down a slope that steep with your baby in a front facing carriage like that. It like walking around the, yeah, like that hits so different.

Especially when you have those little moments of like, oh, like she's reaching up and touching the face and stuff. And I'm like, oh yeah, like, you know, Punch Kid does that too and everything. And you're just like the danger feeling here in your guts is so real. It's visceral, man. Yeah, that hit different for sure. But no, Ludwig fucking killed it. And it was amazing too. We got a nice opportunity because you didn't get a chance to perform with like all the

vocalists and with everybody. You throw out, you know, multiple legs of the tour. But this is a place where they all were able to do so. And yeah, it was, it was just awesome to catch that. And then, of course, like, even though I haven't played two yet, you know, like looking there and I'm like, okay, I don't have context for most of what I'm looking at. So it's fine. but the things that I am looking at, I'm like, fucking knew it.

Right? It's fucking. I got to tell you, there's actually, like, not a whole lot of surprise. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, oh, called that shit. You, you, you, I think you, you and I called like 80, 90% of that game story from, like, our first discussion of its, like, second trailer. Insanity. Insanity.

Like, incredibly obvious. But yeah, you know, it was it was a really fucking awesome show and it was super cool as well. You know what's super funny? You have heard more of Ludwig's music industry than I have. Because you skip past that shit. Because I broke encounters and skipped past them. Yeah, I heard. Yeah, I heard.

God damn. Oh, did he tell you that? Oh, no. I mean, I remember what it happened when you brought it up. But then, yeah, and we talked about it afterwards as well. exactly. No, so, you know, caught him afterwards for a bit. And, you know, as he's going to the meat and green,

and I went up and I was like, hey, Wood kid, right? And he's like, ah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But no, he's a sweetie. And basically, we managed to get some dinner when he's coming back from the other, the last leg of the tour. and yeah, it was just, it was great, just catching up and Reggie and Foxcate came through. We had a good time.

Yeah, that is, it's dope as hell because, like, again, it's just, it's like, I feel that, like, so since distant worlds has, like, kind of picked up and become more of a thing, you know, like we've seen these gaming concerts happening more and stuff, and, you know, the near one just happened and, like, there's an undertale one that's upcoming and stuff, and it's like, okay, like. Oh, man. got the tickets to that fucking thing within seconds. Yep. Copted.

Within seconds. Copted. Immediately copped. But no, it's just super sick that, like, one, game concerts are becoming more of a thing. And in particular, Montreal is a place where, like, you know, we're going to get those because we have the Placetiaz set up and stuff. But, I mean, dude, there's only three places music goes to in this country. You and I live in two of them.

And then there's Toronto. And then there's T.O. Yeah. So, no, that, that, that's dope as hell. And furthermore, it's like, you don't always, like, you know, folks that are composing for games as well, don't, I'll get often to, like, perform fucking live and shred on a guitar and shit like that in front of an audience. Where is my goddamn E-33 concert?

I'm telling you. What the fuck? So, if I'm not mistaken, that. is happening in Europe? Fuck Europe. If you can get there. Yes, that is happening in France. It's in France?

Of course it's in France. So, but we talked about that. That is actually going down in France if you fucking make it over to France. But yeah, yeah, no. Catching Lorien doing his thing would be amazing, man. And I look, I honestly like, you know, fucking fingers crossed in a year or two's time. like someone will set something up because there's these company, there's a company, I think Soho productions is like, they're the ones that are like behind a number of these gaming concerts

and putting them on and doing the tour with them and stuff. So I feel like that's an obvious slam dunk, you know, they just need to set up the tour and get everything. And it makes sense too because the way that the logistics of these concerts work is they talk to the local orchestras in each city and they practice the pieces long in advance. And then you just kind of of tour with the composer, the conductors, the, you know, a few people, but like the actual symphony orchestra is from the people that are from the city and such. So it makes it much more reasonable to tour with that way. So that was awesome. Shout out to Ludwig and, and, and, yeah, the, the death stranding to, like, from just the bits that I saw there that were just like,

okay hard calling that that's that's right on point then there's the stuff that i did not call but it's kind of hilarious to see which is just everything involving higgs it's just like oh my god this is yeah it is i i could i could i have words yeah i'm just like i wonder if if that's kojima or if that's troy just being given free reign almost you know like i can't tell i've never seen a character gets so much screen time and be a massive waste. He's jonkling all over those, that music, bro. He's legitimately the jonkler. It's out of control.

But, uh, but that was, that was a great time. Um, yeah, so that's, that's pretty much it. Uh, the only other thing. Uh, so this week, uh, everything had to get pushed a bit forward. So tomorrow, the finale of Claire Obscure. And, yeah, not going to have a Saturday. Decision time, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we'll run that. Kane will be back next week. Legacy. How was that fucking Silent Cathedral, huh? Legacy of Puzzles, Block River will return next week. That was a long time ago for me, but my memory of the Silent Cathedral Block Puzzles is like, You put your fucking big boy brain on. It's, it's a lot.

I can't believe how, like, how much of it they push you into. You can, you can, your guts, like, can feel the connecting tissue between that and old Tomb Raider games. Yes, a million percent. And the music that's playing while you're pushing the blocks around. There's one block puzzle in the cathedral that, like, you're halfway through it. And then, like, four more blocks drop down in the middle of the room. You just like, come the fuck on, guys. And then you solve it and it zooms out to reveal four handles that are being like slowly opened up.

And you're like, is this another puzzle? Are you, by solving a puzzle to reveal a puzzle? You know, like, holy shit, man. It's great though. But I'm like, wow, this is, this game is about block pushing more than anything else right now. That's that, that section is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, block heaven. The rest of the game,

they're kind of like, okay, we went a little nuts with the fucking blocks. Also, if you take too long on the blocks, then the enemies respawn

and fuck you up, you know? Yeah. But that will return next week as well. So, yeah, that's going on. And announcement as well,

May 22nd to 24th, going to be a guest at Anime North. Oh, cool. Cool. Yeah. So got an invite going to be down there. Reggie's coming along. I'm going to be down there doing, and John's going to be there as well. We're going to be doing versus wolf stuff. Going to do a Willie versus panel with Reggie. And come hang out if you're in the

area. I have not been to Toronto Anime North in many a year. That is the first anime con I've ever Bintu in 2003. That was when... You got to practice your Kanichi... What is it? Kanichi Waguang Gomenas Slith. Yeah,

that's something to that effect. Waguang Kroski Koon, I believe. That guy's TikTok is like a violent sci-op. It's so intense. I mean a slime.

I mean, he really commits to the fucking bit, man. Because he starts every video like drywash in his hands, like skulking into the frame. But it wouldn't be Toronto if it didn't feel slimy, right? It's that's, that's necessary. But yes, uh, that's the first place I cosplay too. I did Xavier Woods, you know, from guitar hero and all that. So I'm returning to the scene of the crime. And, um, that's, um, also the con where.

there's always a 16-year-old in cosplay having their first alcoholic night barfing and an ambulance is pulling up to get him some fucking water and electrolytes because you know it's one of those types of sitch you know it's really interesting being like 40 instead of like 19 because the the context has been like oh check it out oh he's going to go for it has now turned into who let this baby in here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And before it used to be

a light yagami barfing and then that turned into or a Sora and now it's going to be an amazing digital circus character barfing. Oh, you man. But I take off my homestuck makeup to put it next to my

undertale cosplay to get my palm knee outfit on, bro. What the fuck is that? Oh, that's the, it's the only difference. I'm telling you, man. God damn it. Yeah, while an Umamusume like pats them on the back and rubs and rubs them.

Yeah. Uh, anyway, that's May 22nd to 24th. So if you're in the, the six-ix, if you're in the T-dot. I still remember one of the. first people I ran into on the street in BC. You're like, hey, bud. You a guy in my neighborhood, you know, sees us moving in, right? I go, hey, hey, bud, pleasure to meet you.

Welcome to them. You know, that kind of thing. And shake his hand and make a small talk. He's like, hey, so I can tell you're from your accent. You're not from around here. You're from the states or, you know, I'm like, no, no, I'm from out east. And I could see his whole body language just, like, like tilt a little just you know i am from montreal originally he goes oh thank god you're not from

fucking toronto i mean look man the city is still a little bit of a crater you know ever since the aerial strikes but uh it is what it is they soldier on somehow and you know and i mean while we're on that topic you know j z came out the other day and said like i don't know if this beef had to happen you know people now are going to hate that each other forever and if you're a fan of him you're a fan of Kendrick means you're going to hate Drake forever if you're a fan of Drake you're going to hate Kendrick forever and he's like I don't know if hip hop

needs that I'm like it fucking does Jay it's the best thing ever fuck that dude to death fuck Drake to death I'm gonna I'm gonna walk in here and say I'm not the biggest hip hop fan my knowledge

is low even I know that's fucking dead ass wrong This is exactly what hip-hop means. And also, as a father, I think we should hate Drake. That's fine. That's fair game. I am for protecting the children.

Protecting my child. Hey, yeah, absolutely, you know, can't go wrong with that. So, yeah. Nah, man. You know, if it's not on a what it did to the music level, then it's on a simple, like, I'm a dad now. And both of those are good reasons. So,

no. Bro, I just saw somebody say that Jay-Z is the bourgeoisie. And I'm like, is that true? I think that might be true. I mean, it's not like,

it's not like his, his, you know, later rhymes don't reflect that. He's always talking about, you know, yeah, black billionaires and all that stuff.

And it's like, cool. So a billionaire then. yeah yes yes 99 problems but rent is not one j uh but um anyways man i mean look when the but it's like whatever he's saying or doing it stuff it's like the the bar is like Kanye so we can just like are you are you still kind of are you within our realm are you still? Are you still on this plate of existence. Okay, cool.

There's a part of me that actually feels bad for Kanye. Yeah. Genuinely. Yeah, there is. His wealth has insulated himself from care. No, no. The part that feels bad is the part where legitimately, because he's sick and has no people around him to genuinely make it through.

And because ever since his mom passed away, that has been gone. to me that's the type of story that almost always ends in the worst possible way. And the public car crash is ongoing. Like there's a guy who's wealthy enough to just power through the fact that he's been actively manically bipolar for like a decade now. And it's like most people, their life would fall apart to the point where they would have to do something.

about being that bipolar. But you've got so much money that you can stay caught. You can just make all the problems go away. Yeah, no. A million percent. It's,

it's a wild case study almost. Like, you know, I'm reminded of... Being rich doesn't just make you crazy. It keeps you crazy. Well, I'm reminded of like those stories of like the super rich dudes from like the 1800s,

the guy that built that mansion full of traps or whatever, you know. Spencer? Was that who it was? I don't No, whatever. A bit of a bad, bah, bah, bah. No, the, um, the, the, the, no, the actual mansion

of traps that was designed by some super rich dude that went crazy or, um, the, yeah, there's, there's a couple of examples of this of just like, you know, all the wealth in the world to insulate from, you know, getting help, but where, where was I going? Oh, yeah, anime north, May 22nd to 24.

forth. Yeah, that's where you're going. Come, come hang out. Say what's up. All right. Oh, you know, before we move on, I do have two of the things I wanted to talk about that I remembered as you were discussing. So Crimson Desert's got a bunch of patches since I talked about it.

Yes. I think it was last week. Yes. And I had the experience, I'm sure you've seen it, where you see just the smart, snarkiest fucking know-it-all comments. comment on something that's just so-and-so is so stupid oh my god and it's like it's like really like genuinely like pointedly like excellently put together to be the maximum level of condescension right and it's like I can't believe every single thing Pat's complaining about in this podcast

it's already been fixed by the patches he looks so stupid and I'm like I have to know because my biggest problem was the controls and no one ever fixes their fucking controls ever so I need to go so that I can adequately respond to this dipshit comment they did improve the controls they did very significantly improve basic movement you can actually do the spinny little thing

by spinning the stick now it's not perfect, but it is like, it is, it is a dramatic improvement to controls from one week to the next, which is really strange because it makes the game feel super unfinished. Like, there are some games that get patches that are like expansion level quality of life things. And you're like, you busted this shit out in a two-week span or this game is. it done. This game had to release. It means that it shipped, but the people on it already knew and were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that shit

sucks. We were on that in advance. So, yeah, in a year or so, yeah, I'll go back to Crimson Desert and play what is likely a dramatically better game. I mean, the type of dip shit comment you're describing is pointed to this one moment

in time with this one game. I particularly enjoy the constant that is fighting games snooze dip shit that pops up pretty much every week. Well, I mean, they're right. I also watch Steel Ball Run. Oh, you got. So, hey, by the way, somebody recently noticed that I have two hourglass.

You have the smaller one. Yes, yes. Yeah, and they had forgotten what these are four. Yes. See, the small hourglass is talking about fighting games. the big hourglass is talking about fighting games that I also play. Okay. And this one is the Mortal Kombat hourglass is for talking about Final Fantasy 14.

Yeah. Haven't gotten to use that one for a while. No. I saw a comment that was like, you know, the real ongoing FF release that the kids would stay into is FF 14, but y'all ain't ready for that conversation. That's not for the kids. That's for old people. They're for old people. So I watched Steel Ball Run.

Wow, what a great episode. What a great episode. That's awesome. And also Steel Ball Run is fantastic. Hell yeah. I don't know why I thought this because all I remember hearing is that it was an extra long episode

that covered the first leg of the race. Okay. I thought that meant it was going to be a 90-minute program. Oh. And not two episodes. No, no, it was 45. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

This is bullshit. Like, this release schedule is bullshit. I, the whole time we were talking about it and I've seen people talking about it. And like, oh, man, who knows when it's going to. gonna come. I thought they released like a full full length OVA. Okay. And episode one and episode

two with a commercial break in between. I mean, the fact that we saw a the fact that we saw a just now episode two's teaser was earlier this week as well shows you that like, hey, it's there. You know,

they done, done it. So what's up? Is it Netflix? or I heard someone else was saying that like potentially what I was who else got involved? I forgot now but there was besides Netflix another another company got involved that might be a part of this here but either way it's like it's not you can see they're going hey here's the teaser for episode two it'll be out at some point and you're like

well clearly again David production has done this for six seasons prior to this and knows how to run a fucking schedule. So Warner Brothers. Warner Brothers, yes. Yeah, no, I'm not hearing we don't know when we will finish making it. What I'm hearing is we don't know when we will be done making it and then Netflix will slot it into a convenient time in the release schedule. It's clearly just not up to them.

And it's like, like, why are we committed to that? Yeah. It's like, before we sat down and watched it, Paige was like, I kind of don't know if we should watch it at all. because because she doesn't want to wait to wait too long okay and i also don't want to wait for it um sidebar but uh how much do you know do you have uh i know some big points okay but the overall guts of it no okay okay yeah well it looks like and from the teaser for the second episode is is called stage two.

So it looks like, yeah, they're going to be doing that to completion as well. They can't do that, can they, though? Aren't some legs of the race way longer than others? Absolutely. Yeah. So like that's not actually viable at all.

No. No. Well, no, it won't be one stage per episode, but it'll be, it can definitely be a arc or a thing, you know, a challenge per episode is certainly do. Um, say and Shoto says, didn't Pat say way back that he wickied most of Jojo? That's true. That was like 15 years ago.

People have been watching our show or our shows or the old show for a long enough period of time who remember bits and pieces. Forget how far away much of that shit is. I forgot all that shit. Yeah. I'm thinking of. some legs, some parts of this that are like, almost like the entirety of phantom blood in one, like, in one part, you know, like, some, in one leg, um, fuck, it's gonna get dense. Anyway, cool. Um, all right. Let's just, uh, again, if we can roll through for time, uh, take a quick word from our sponsors. Let's do it.

all right oh you know what can we can we we take a break i gotta feed this yeah okay all right sure sure sure all right b rb all right um you know what here two things just as we were just discussing two things one two things um talking about conier just now right and the fact that folks were pointing out that like he put out his an apology letter the other day and yeah oh yeah i don't see Well, he did. And, you know, for everything that he's done and stuff. And the only thing for that is just, I don't know if people have noticed. I don't think they have, but it's something I have certainly noticed is that every time in the past you've ever heard from him, you also notice that alongside one of the crazy stories is an album about to drop.

Yeah, that makes sense. Every single time you hear any of the craziest things he's doing or saying, it's right. it's right before a rollout of an album. Now, you could argue that the creative process and the stress of releasing an album could trigger an episode. Perhaps if you want to. Sure, right?

Most charitable interpretation possible. But that's how it went for years now and it's always predictable because it's within a couple months' time. He wrote that apology in January. When did his last album come out? This month. He just released a new one.

Yes. So it's just if you're going to take that with any credibility, perhaps it would have to be not part of a rollout for me to put maximum charitability on that. Yeah, maybe the fact that you've assigned a profitability index on your literal insanity slash apologies for insanity has hurt your honesty cachet. Yeah, or or you know that you have a certain angle in the news and the times that people talk about you is when you do these things and thus you can maximize your marketing, you know? And I feel like if you can, I feel like if you are discussing him but not paying attention to like those moments of or whatever's happening or what's getting dropped, then you might not put two and two together on it. But I've noticed it like at least three or four albums ago. And I was like, oh yeah, it's it's every single time like clockwork, you know, so. Yeah. Um, that's one.

And two. Yeah, that's one. And two, if, if, okay, so, uh, I've been getting asked a bunch about, um, the, bringing up the, uh, have you heard of Afro Man? I have heard of Avro Man? Have you heard of the recent shenanigans in court with the, with the cops? Yeah, shit's hilarious. Yeah, storm in his house. And then the, um, he's just writing.

And all those bits, writing all those stuff and all that stuff. Yeah. And so, yeah. And so I've been, I've been getting asked about like, you know, when you're going to, you can talk about that and stuff. And have you seen and all the bits and right that, okay. So is it, can I, am I going to have to be the bummer? Am I going to have to be the one that that ruins the fun for everybody that's enjoying it? So I'm going to stop you right there.

I don't think there's anything you could say that would ruin the fun. Okay. of making fun of people who broke into your house. Okay, that certainly is, that is true, and that is clear, and winning that court case and everything about it was hilarious. Whatever you're about to follow it up with. Yeah, no, no, it is hilarious. No, the events that...

It's still fucking funny. The events that occurred are funniest and are hilarious and everything surrounding how that cop has to be called, like, fucking pound cake or whatever. Great, great bits, great bits. It's just the simple thing is that the... Because I got high afro-man, dude, when's the last time you heard about him? Not many of folks here probably can think of one. Not a bet.

It was when he was on stage punching a woman in the face who got on stage and there's a video of it and it's fucked up and it's super not. Yeah. So it's just like, yeah, Aframas's not a hero. He's not an American fucking, uh, look at him. You know, he won against the cops type of thing. It's like, nah, that's fucked up. And it's like, it's a story that no one really, I guess, heard about or knows about. I know what you're talking about. See, what you're talking about is when people see this. highly specific thing and then extrapolate a huge proportion of values from this highly specific thing

that aren't necessarily related. There was a, there was a, oh God, what the fuck was I playing? I was playing something a couple days ago. And I said, this isn't here. I think it was Resident Evil Requiem. This item or this enemy is not here. And someone in chat said, oh, that means it's at the other place. And I said, no, you don't know that.

That doesn't mean that there are two options. And if the thing is this or not, that means it's over here or not. It's not mutually exclusive. Just because something is doesn't mean all these other proximate causes follow. Even if it would make sense from a thematic or narrative perspective. Right. In the real world. Yes.

It's just like, especially with some of the way that it's been covered. even on fucking last week tonight and shit, it's kind of like, look at this. This is a hilarious story. And that's, this is America right here. And he's wearing the suit. And everyone's like, well, have you seen it? Afro-Man rules, all that stuff. And I'm like, this case is hilarious. Afro-man does not rule. Like, these are, these are separate bits, you know. This sequence of events and the ensuing court hilarity absolutely rules. Yes. But you can't necessarily put that on anybody because you don't know them. There you go. So, um,

Um, for the, for the many that might not know you. I know you. I know you're cool. Because I know you. Well, I've known you forever. Right. Okay. But if I didn't know you, maybe you weren't cool. I don't know. Maybe. Because I don't know you. You seem cool. Yes. So, but just to, to, because I've been, I've been, it's been multiple weeks of being asked about that story in particular. Yeah, I got a couple. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. It's funny. That's it. That's all. All right. Let's take a quick word from our sponsors.

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All right. So let's get into it. A couple of things are going down this week. We already talked about IDOS Montreal, and we talked about the project that got canceled. So that fucking sucks. It feels like a million years ago, but I suppose it did also happen this week that I was vindicated through one post from Streetfighters Nakayama San who basically said, hey, we are patching the Alex story. We apologize for any confusion that it might have.

of cause. I hate this fucking post so much. Confusion. I fucking hate it so much. So here's what the no one was confused about shit. But but but but here's what you're hearing. Here's what you're hearing right. You're hearing this is how it was received but I don't want to throw my writers under the bus and insult them to their face brutally with this public facing post. So I'm going to speak in a way that says it wasn't about anything being received awfully. It was confusion. And that way the writers can take that hit and have their ego somewhat intact as opposed to taking the raw brunt force level three. Because look, man, you know, this is one of those bits to where you're like,

it's not like anime has not hit this territory before. It's not like we haven't seen this in other places. It's a trope. It's a, Kingdom Hearts too, okay. It's a clear, no, no, no. Like, there's a fucking meme of,

of a big story moment in Kingdom Hearts where somebody gets absolutely blasted with light. It's like, uh, look, I found a non-siscan, erogay novel. I love you as my sister. Oh no, but I love you as a woman even more.

Oh, yeah, okay, okay, okay, that one. Yeah, I saw that meme. I also saw, um, I don't know what it is, but Alex was getting fucking dragged because he was getting compared to some dude who was like holding a sword and a baby going, stay away from my woman. Yeah. Whatever the fuck that is. I saw people saying that Alice's new throw is called Usagi drop. So, um, yeah. Yeah, all of that, the word confusion, you have to understand where that comes from.

It is to not have someone in the office explode into a ball of flames. And what it seems like... So how'd they fix it? Well, they released a short story. They basically said, we apologize for any confusion regarding Alex's story. And we haven't changed the backstories, but after an internal review by the development team, we're going to revise certain text passages that may have been misleading in the near. future. Here is also a supplementary episode to provide further insight. So basically it looks like

there's a short story that has Tom in a bar celebrating the marriage. And what it kind of goes through is the efforts to more or less state that Alex and Patricia were not raised together. Like they were, they met as kids and there was that moment when he was young. And that's the last time they saw each other until they were almost adults. But then Alex, as soon as he was old enough to leave the house, he left and stuck out on his own. And then Patricia started falling in with a bad crowd. And then one day, Alex came back and he's, and he helped rescue her. And he did what Tom couldn't do. But they otherwise did not grow up together. And it's, I got to tell you, I think it's legitimately disgusting

that in order to save face for cousin fucker here, they're like, you know what? Patricia, kind of trashy. She's kind of a trashy teenager. The, and then the other bit was it seems like the second cousin's line is probably going to get changed or just removed

entirely, right? So there will be no blood relation and there also will not have grown up together. And... What about the line of dialogue that is him marrying her and going, this is the same smile? She has a baby by elder. What about that line? Is that going to get changed?

I don't know about that line. If that's going to get changed. I assume it probably might. It probably might. I imagine playing it safe on all accounts. The thing is, the weirdest part about it is that, like, this is basically exactly what I was saying before is just like, fucking patch it, right? Just change the shit. However, it seems that, like, I guess the end state of where the character is is a higher priority.

than the prior games. So for years now, their relationship has been... Very clear. Yeah, it's been very much, like brother and sister in vibe. And I think, like, and there's even,

again, tweets from, a NeoG who was like, oh, so that's how it turned out, huh? So you're kind of like, this was established in a way and everyone kind of thought that was the case. But to make it work here and to keep the end state the same,

they're changing. the past instead of just changing the new thing that was written and created now. And it's like you just had to like you could have changed the end result. Nothing was wrong with the past. Everything was wrong with the new stuff. But now- There's no reason for him to say that they were cousins. Nope.

There's no reason to add that. But I think that's the weird thing is like I guess because the outline of where they want the story or timeline or characters to be is that- And for a fucking finding. game character story we'll have no more story after this. Yeah, well, then that's the thing, right? Why so desperate to protect the cousin fucking?

I don't get it. No, it's not about protecting the cousin fucking. It's about protecting the fact that Alex is married and has a kid on the way, right? Whatever. That's the state that they want to preserve. And so they have to throw out the previous games and this weird new thing for that. It's nonsense. It solves nothing.

And you can just make it so that that's not Alex's future. It's, it would have been fine to actually step back to everything new that you wrote, you know. You know, but here you go. I hope I said it on the podcast when we were talking about it. I think I did when you were like, I think they're going to change it. I think they're going to patch it.

And I was like, the way that this feels, if they do patch it, it's going to feel in universe like Alex and Tom are trying to like do damage control. Gaslight in street fire. No, no, no, that's not what I meant. No one's ever gonna fucking forget this shit. I fought it Alex two days ago

and their fucking username was Don't do your cousin. Bro, like... And he raids quit on me! When he's doing those push-ups, they're calling them cousin crackers, man. People are out here using people are

people are out here using what was it? It was all about, like using the, one of these, the titles on your, your user profile, like Alex is the character. And then it's like, I think it was like an L and a one or something that was just like, like, in the family.

Pride of the family. Pride of the family. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's cooked. It's done. It's over. Right. But all this is just like, I'm like, take the L. and patch it and they are doing that but you don't you should be patching the

future not the not the past you know um hilarious I also I also appreciate the reception I saw where as soon as that came out to just going to look at the people in the comments and the feedback where everyone is like nah fuck that double down Alex has been buffed from second to first cousins

you know people are like talking about standing your ground on that shit now they went as far as they possibly could within the bounds of like legal behavior of a street fighter character to like ciscon shit like like the absolute like dancing on the law review book like scrolling through the family tree yeah i just looks like a fucking tangled batch of mangroves now alec Like it's weird, but I guess the narrative team just looked and went like, we want Alex to have this journey that mirrors Riu, where he goes, you know, I'm going to step out on my own to figure things out and see Fight Riu to see, oh, is this the life I should have led as a street fighter protagonist, man? And then instead he goes home and realizes no way to have a future and a family to look forward to it.

I have everything I need. I have everything. And it's like, okay, you, you, you, you, you, you. We see that you wrote that, but like it might take some time, but you just, it's okay to throw that out. It's not that big a deal. It's not going to linger that much longer, man. So what you're saying is that if Ryu had any living family, we'd be having this conversation way back in the day. I mean, they threw it on Alex, but whoever was down with this pretty easily could have thrown it on someone else much earlier, you know.

yeah I don't think this type of relationship existed in street firefighter prior to now so but why but why

well because you see and now I'm seeing like people are like a fucking we need to protect 12 and Fee you know and a necro and Fie

rather excuse me yeah yeah anyway whatever but uh The patch is coming.

And with that, Alex will drop down a tear. It is absolutely nuts that in a genre in which we have King Kai marrying a four-year-old and fucking

fucking Frederick over here beating his wife. Full gorilla style. Like both of them? No, it's unclear. And all this fucking nonsense that Alex somehow gets it the worst because it takes place in the real world. I mean, to be fair, if your wife starts the Crusades,

she did start the Crusades. You might have to faff near her once or twice. And the important thing is that the wife fight back. And then you think about it. She fought the fuck back, though. She was tough as shit. She fought back super hard, bro. Fucking centuries past.

All right. So yeah, apologies for any confusion about Alex's story. Fuck off. There's only one response I would have respected. And it was, sorry, guys, there's someone on the team that thinks it's super hot. We didn't check what they wrote before we shipped it. Well, now it's time to turn to the bungee playbook and go, yeah, there was a huge CISCON on the team. but they're fired now, actually.

Yeah, they've been fired into being promoted. You know, what was their name? It's like, oh, we don't know. It doesn't matter. Their name doesn't. All I know is they're on the board of the records now. A giant, a humongous syscon used to work here, but they're gone now, and that's all you need to do. Yeah, they're all gone.

Everyone here thinks that's gross. And they will not return, except for when they do in fucking, final fight next um keep an eye out for the story of monster hunter and tell me you know mike haggers just cody's uncle right uh i i guess you you you keep an eye on the resident evil franchise and the monster hunter franchise i'll keep an eye on street fighter evil franchise doesn't have shit going on in it nothing ain't nobody fucking nothing in that franchise. That shit is safe. Except for the...

Except for the obvious actual. Except for the ones that are actually kissing brother and sister. They're evil. Sex has been deleted. They're written to be evil. Yeah. I mean, Street Fighter didn't, wasn't really a universe with that much sex in it to begin with either though. Like, you know, like, you know, like... In fact, most, the person who has the most technical children never had sex at all. He just cloned them in a vet and then in hell. their bodies. Yeah. No,

that's, that's true. I mean, Ken has confirmed, you know, he's at least done it once, um, confirmed.

Yeah. But, um, with Gile sister. Yeah, but, and then you have to, and then whatever the fuck that Bison cammy relationship is,

you know, but whatever. I'm, I, in my head, Canon, genuinely is that like M. Bison is like,

canonically trans. Because like... Okay. Okay. Because follow me here. Cook. No, cook. Here's all my backup bodies. This podcast is a space where you can put that on the girl.

Here's my backup bodies. Okay, yes, they are disproportionately blonde young women, despite the fact that I am obviously not a blonde young woman. Okay, here's a backup body that they themselves. themselves transitioned into a different backup body of opposite gender. Okay? On top of that, when he was thinking about ABLE, the first time he thought about Able, he's like, what if Able was a little girl? Also, a young blonde woman.

Oh, the concept art comes in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, it's simple enough to say that you got the Bison and Rose bit and then eventually Bison's like, that's it, I'm out of this body, fuck this, I get to pick the next one. I want that one. Cammy, yeah. You have a type. All right.

You have a type to switch over, over and over. Of all the dolls, you know, that's, yeah, okay, okay. You know what? Not unconfirmed. Like your backups, like your clones are transitioning on their own, away from you. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. With no input from you.

And yeah, I mean, look, like, yeah, not a bad choice. Cammy fucking rules. Yeah. So, um, anyways, uh, we'll keep an eye on this story. I'll keep a fucking, you know, magnifying glass out. And if any, any patches happen and we see some, like, like, if you see some shit where, like, this is this is um this is lily me and alex's mom knew each other from childhood and we were so close that our parents used to joke that we were cousins but we weren't cousins really in fact we're not

related at all lily is can is deconfirm as t hawk's daughter right um okay well here now lily and t hawk are now in a relationship no see that's too far can't do it that that that's the whole cousin but we were raised together loophole it's it's it's on that same level of fuckery because it's like oh you thought it was his son no no no no it's he thought it was his daughter no it's not it's not actually they're not related okay here's a picture of lily on his shoulders but yeah don't worry about it that's fine it's not oh you mean they're not related they're just in a relationship yeah no no sorry we thought okay early yeah you made that much worse sounding than you met we thought in the beginning that Lily was

T. Hawke's daughter, right? And there was artwork of Little Lily on Tihawk's shoulders with Julia next to them. And then it was like, oh, it's not Lily Hawk. It's not his daughter. They're not related. They're from the same tribe, but that's it. And he knew her

as a little girl, but she's not actually her dad. And I was like, oh, that sucks. It would have been so much cooler if she was, but okay. And then this is the fucking, the crazy, the writing is like, and then what if it's like, oh, that's deconfirmed, well, now, they're in a relationship. And you're like, uh, eh?

Anyway. Lease, we don't have to play that Tekken patch. So I was asking people on the, on the, on the tournament, I'm like, which is worse, right? You're a patch dropping like this or your character lore fucking you up. And it was like, genuinely 50-50, man. It was like, you know, it just, uh, If you're not in Alex Main, it's just hilarious. But if you are at Alex Main, it feels bad. Here's the thing I don't get about, like, the patch stuff.

Like, Alex's new story is that he's a massive heel. Just make it be an angle. Just make it be an angle. Well, the full context of the story is that he's going heel, but truthfully at home, he's figured it out. And he's got a bright future ahead. And that's why he's the, it's the whole thing. It's just, yeah, whatever. But it would have been, yes, they, they clear, anyway, whatever.

We've, we've beaten the horse. Unfortunately, yeah, not as hard as we should have beaten Tom. What else is going on? Tom sucks so bad. It's crazy. I'll tell you what doesn't, I'll tell you what doesn't suck. What's that? That Akali trailer.

Yeah, it looks great. Holy shit. She looks fucking. sick. You know what fucking actually sucks about that at a collie trailer? Seeing social media posts of people posting the trailer go, what? I thought this game got canceled. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, oh my God, they have fucked that shit up. And then the discussion being like they should, and then people going, they shouldn't have made that post talking about how, you know, when people got let go and things are, sales were down. And it's like, no, you have to address when people get like, oh, that's insane. Don't tell people don't address that. that's fucking nuts, right? But yeah, I did see that of like, oh, I thought.

You should have said is, by the way, we're going to work to maintain the game for many years to come or something like that that was conspicuously absent from that post also. And what you should have done was put Akali before Caitlin. You should have put Akali in the fucking base roster. A collie should have replaced Ari. She looks really good. She's also a million times more popular than a little bunch of the other. other ones. So I can, looking at it, I'm seeing, so I'm like looking at her kit, seeing the stuff

setting up and like, okay, she's a teleport ninja. She's got Kunae, Ibuki type things. And then you start seeing these insane mixes, teleports, and then the smoke. And I'm like, oh, fuck, it's a Marlon Pie character. Sure enough, it is. It is a Marlon Pie character. And, uh, hey, guys, we're finally nerfing Yasuo. Guess what?

Marlon Pie's back. Yeah. Yeah. Um, no, I. I think her animations look like some of the best in the game, and her level three is probably the sickest in the game as well. Hey, you know what, dude? I agree with you. And I think 2XCO might have a minor issue.

Every character looks a little bit better visually than the last character. Yeah. That's not the only game that does that, though. I mean... No, but like I can really see it in 2XCO. Very much so. Street Fighter 5 had that problem massively. Everyone at the beginning of that game

looks so much stiffer and less animated compared to each subsequent sequence season. You know, go look at the way Blanca or Cody move and then later on, you know, Akira and in stuff. And it's like they look way better than the base roster. You know what Kim doesn't have that problem?

Mm-hmm. A Virtua Fighter? Mm-hmm. because it's not alive. Akali. She fucking has the smoke gimmick, which is, I guess, faithful to her kit. And how do you make that work in a fighting game?

I couldn't imagine because turning invisible feels like, oh yeah, no, cooked, wasted, got him. All of that. All of that. Sooth it in. The, uh, uh, uh, I couldn't imagine how turning invisible would work decently in a fighting game because anytime it does show up, it always sucks or is too strong. Oh, it's, it sucks or it's too good?

It's, it's no in-between. It's either like, um, fucking, um, what's her name, um, cyberpunk, uh, guilty gear or Lucy, uh, Lucy where you're just like, you can still see them and it's pointless or it's mortal combat where they turn completely invisible and it's completely insane. alternatively there is Timo and it's it's got its uses but it's not great and it's not super practical to get into most

of the time you know but it's there but yeah so here instead what they do is they go yeah the smoke doesn't do that instead it just it obscures the ground and it makes it so that anything she does in the smoke is insane including she can run past you she can like teleport it multiple

times like it's Marlin pie madness basically she can like, yeah, wall hop into like Kunae stuff and she's looking fucking awesome. I gotta say, great first showing for the character. Find balance in death

is a fucking bar. And yeah, the only thing I can say looking at that is like the moment they dropped that KDA outfit or her original look with the baggy pants. Holy shit. Cash money millionaires.

I don't think she's going to get the baggy pants. They talked about the anime. thing for it, but people are really asking for it. And we saw... The main things that I remember them talking about like the animation. Yeah. It was also like Darius's cape was like a massive... I know.

I know. I know. And we even saw the model that the modeler on the team did of that. Right. But I would be very... I would be surprised if they weren't trying to do something to solve that problem because it's a main complaint I'm seeing. I'm seeing...

I'm seeing... I'm just seeing that end. KDA please all day. They should tell us every character they're planning to make for the next five years. They should just do that right now. In fact, as soon as they walk out of a meeting room and they think about the idea,

they should immediately tweet it. Yep. Yes. Yep. You could show us workshops of the characters in progress, actually. Just show us the whole thing. It's like honestly, kind of, yeah.

That'd actually be really cool. No, I mean, all kidding aside, like in order to build back up after the, the bum-out news, you do have to garner hype. And like, I don't think a traditional release schedule is enough. I think you've got to start doing more, you know. Yeah, but now you're doing more with less. Right. That's tough. Yeah.

And, and, I mean, again, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, people, when people are talking about the, like, I thought this game was canceled stuff, other people are talking about how the, that, that, that, that thing should have been framed and talking about it, like, downsizing to a, to a, a, a live service team versus releasing your staff or whatever the fuck the case is, um, if the intent is to still release, you know, a X number of characters or across X number of, you know, you know, you know, you know, years or whatever the case is, if there's a feeling that we have another five or 10 before we look and see how this game is doing and decide whether to keep it open or not, keep it going or not, then yeah, more transparency on that front would not hurt at all, I would say, for sure. I think, all joking aside, I think we should probably actually get the characters of the rest of the season. Like we were getting a collie and we know we were getting Senna and we got Kate, but there's two more after that. I think they should, it would be nice to have faith in this whole season existing.

Hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't think, and I think like knowing, knowing for a long time that like Ingrid is on the way, it doesn't, you know, it doesn't reduce hype or anything. Like you kind of just, you still check it out when it comes and you're like, holy shit. Like when Alex trailer dropped and everything, people were like, holy fuck. Like, it's still very cool, you know. I think the leaks in Street Fighter kind of showed that like having a full season out there doesn't necessarily kill hype.

You know, it can totally go hand in hand. It's still exciting when the content starts dropping. Yeah. So beyond that, I'll tell you what, though, one of the things that does worry me a little bit. So it's a riot game so we don't have numbers, right? Don't have, can't Steam DB the shit at all. The only thing I can possibly look at is,

like Twitch numbers. And they are like, it's basically zero. And that reflects my experience when I streamed it. Yeah, it, it's honest, it seems like it's basically like one of those games that if there's

an event going on, then you then there's a lot more action going on. If there's a tournament that weekend or something happening, you know, then things pick up. But then in the idle hours, they do it a little bit more. So yeah, for sure. I mean, here's another way to go about it.

Avatar Legends, the fighting game. It's got Ang, Kora, Zuko, Katara, Toff, Saka, Azula, Zahir, Ozai, Avatar, Kiyoshi, and what looks to be Avatar Kora and Avatar Ang. And it's $30. bucks and that's a great roster yep and it's 30 bucks and if you pre-order you can vote on who you want the DLC to be

and really? Yep so that's great actually vote for your DLC character so if you want Uncle Iro then you got to go vote for them also that tells you that they're going to make the character after the voting concludes

and that it's not something in the waiting and it's got crossplay and rollback. And if you, the $50 edition comes with the five extra characters of year one DLC. So there you go. $30 fighting game. It's a legitimately great roster.

And yeah, Avatar Kiyoshi, I think that's the weirdest pick by far. But she had books, right? She had a whole series of books. So it's like she's another main character that got followed in a storyline. It makes sense given that

She has developed story and stuff, you know? If you're going to pick another one, I feel like that would be the one. And then after that, you'd go maybe Avatar Wan, right? I'm also a little surprised to hear Manit in out of all the core of villains. Yeah, so there's not a lot of cora represent. Surprise Amon didn't get in, for example. So there's not a lot of core representation. And like, yeah, there's a lot left on the table.

And so folks are going like, okay. The votes are going to, are you going to come down to like, uh, Iro, Amon, Asami, Jet, Sukimai, Genora. Did Jet die? Uh, I mean, I didn't see, I only saw Chora seasons like one and two, so I can't. Really? Yeah, I didn't see three and four. You watched the first two and then stopped? I was watching, I'm watching them, uh, with Punch Mom.

That's Wago. Yes, it is difficult to. I say not having watched the second episode. episode of One Piece. It is difficult to sync up coordinated watching sometimes. I understand. It's not about how good season three is or not. It's about when the wife and I can watch together.

But I know. Just put on the cocoa melon for the baby and fry her brain a little bit. No, no. We're saving the brain frying for maybe never. So. But you don't You don't need to scream at me about I know, I know.

But yes. Anyway, and what should I call it? There's a whole bunch of cool characters that could show up there. So yeah, that's it. And I think I just, I think price point is huge. I think that's a big deal. And for a solid looking 2D small scale game,

$30. Sounds good. Honest price. good shit. We were just talking about this at the top of the story. So, um, all right. Beyond that, um, do you know what the fuck is going on with RAM? Yeah.

There's some crazy shit happening because I'm seeing simultaneous stories where it's like, okay, open AI failed to fulfill its commitment to purchase 40% of the world supply. And it turned, it did happen. And it terminated a $71 billion contract, thus causing ram prices to plummet. That's correct. And that leads to best by having a price war and dropping prices on Kingston DDR5 to keep up with Microsenter. And they're all racing to the bottom on their price war. But then I'm so.

The market is rapidly. reacclimating itself to non-insanity. But then I'm also simultaneously seeing a story going Costco is removing RAM from its display PCs because people are

walking up to them and ripping them out. That's right, because those people have just, those people are working under the assumption of the RAM nonsense of a couple weeks ago. because they found out that the Rams in Costco PCs

are the new catalytic converter. And scumbag bureaucracy prevention has not caught up to the market. But the latest on the market is that it's falling because of that open A.I deal. Yeah. See, scams and hustles. They take a bit to solidify. And then bureaucratic responses to scoff. scams and hustles take much longer to solidify. That's why you got to get copper.

Everybody always needs copper. It's everywhere. You can find it no problem. Good old reliable copper. Bubbles, is that you? That's a lot, actually. Oh, man. Dude, one fucking company, one AI company,

each shit. And actually the problem starts to heal itself immediately. Well, because the problem was the idea that, like, you know, selling in bulk is better than anything else, right? Oh, you got a confirmed purchase order for fucking five straight years of product? Let's fucking go. And the news is telling me that this is like the most highly valued shit ever. So you know they're good for it.

And so all that has to happen is you find out. Oh, wait, they're not good for it? Oh, then we've got to be careful sending out these massive multi-year purchase orders to people who don't pay us up front. The whole economy is based off confidence and vibes. Once the vibes are off, all of a sudden, oh, shit. We have to go back to actually doing business. You can do business with rancid vibes. You shouldn't.

You shouldn't. You probably shouldn't. But you can. Um, okay. Well, but that's, that's what's up. It's, uh, the vibes is off. And the, so the economy is correcting. And then the catalytic converter logic is applying.

Now granted, Sony just jacked up the fucking price of a PlayStation by like a hundred, hundred and fifty fucking bucks because of all this ram bullshit. And that's not coming back down ever, ever. Because they want to set up the PlayStation 6 costing $1,000 fucking dollars. And so you look at the PS4. Well, the PS4 costs $9.50. And the PlayStation 6 costs $1,000. Why wouldn't I just get the PlayStation 6?

Oh, right, because I'm broke. I don't have $1,000 to spend on a PlayStation 6 because games costs $120,000. I'm going to go play Mihoyo games on my phone. Well, you could always get a Steambox. no wait hold on that's also the fucking thousand dollar price range there is a guy at valve looking at like a of the fucking graph of the stock market at the steam the steam machine fucking desk just going ah i don't know what to do like as soon as they announce a price CPUs four thousand dollars you know like oh man

Yeah. I was about to say that these are those moments that, you know, Nintendo feels like they can exist for, but then I see the latest story saying X-Nintendo sales lead says prices will go up. It's inevitable. They might be able to- Sales will go down. It's inevitable.

They may be able to put off raising hardware prices for a moment, but a price hike is coming. Yeah. Don't wait to buy a Switch 2. Here's why. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I bought two switch twos the day they came out because all the tear shit went off. I didn't even think about the ram shit because that didn't even exist at the time.

Well, I mean, I bought one because I might need it for work, but I also need an object to collect dust on my table for a while. Oh, that's good. I tell you what, dude, you got a baby? It's prime switch hours. Sorry, no. You have an infant. it's not prime switch hours.

When you have a toddler, now that's prime switch hours. I mean, I have noticed that, like, like with a little bit of limited screen that she's been exposed to, like when she's strapped on,

if there are no people or faces, like she's really tuned the fuck out. Like if it's just like Windows and clicking on files and folders and dragging shit around. Yeah. Or like editing, she's like,

get me the fuck out of here. This sucks, dude. Yeah, it's got to be, it's got to be something interesting. Yeah, I'll put up thumbnails and, you know, edit playlists on the TV for Dad Show. And he's like, I don't go of a fuck about this. I won't put my blocks. My blocks is way better than this stupid Dad Show stuff because Dad Show is Duda. Yes.

All right. I mean, besides that, there's a bunch of April Fool shit that I just didn't mark down. Oh, who gives a fuck. Warhammer musical is by far the best-looking one. They should do that. I mean, I'm down with caked-up Omneman a little bit, but, you know, that's neither here nor there. Yeah. Oh, and they did show off conquest.

That's cool. I hope he does the speech. Anyway. There used to be a time when there would be one April Fool's announcement that the joke was that it wasn't an April Fool's announcement, it was real. Used to be. And I didn't see anything like that this year. Oh, um,

what's that not Starcraft game? The game that it's Storm something? Is it Stormgate? Oh, Jesus. Don't do this to me. It's too late for this, man. I can't play the game now. Dawngate, Storm. Yeah, it's Stormgate.

I have a new story for you. It's the shittiest one so far. Stormgate, which was a Kickstarter game, which is basically not Starcraft, right? It's going to, it's a free-to-play RTS game. It is losing its multiplayer because the service provider that runs their multiplayer servers has been bought by an AI company and been retasked to other business. So that game is dead. Oh my God.

Well, I thought it already was, to be fair. Like if you were to ask me prior to saying the story, I would have been like, oh, I'm sure that's that thing that died. But okay. Wow to find out it's living only to find out it's dying for the dumbest reasons. Yeah. Ew. It's like you find out about somebody who you thought died a long time ago and you're like, how are they doing? And the answer is bad.

And you're like, well, I shouldn't have even entered into this conversation. All right. It's late. Let's take a letter or two and get out of here. All right. If you want to send in a letter, send it to Castle Super Beastmail at Gmail.com. That's Castle Superbeastmail at Gmail.com.

All right. Let's take one over here. Hey, Nostradamus Madden and Duda Boevan. Oh, man. A week or so, Pat mentioned how the gaming industry at large, which normally tries to copy big trends, is wisely not doing so with GTA and is trying to get out of its way

because no game wants to launch alongside a cultural behemoth that is GTA. A six. Sidebar, yes, this has been the case for pretty much all of them now, right? In light of recent events, the thought has crept up that initially I would dismiss, but in the realities of the current state of the industry, I cannot but wonder, would this hypothetical scenario would you'd weigh in on? What if it comes out in November? It's a 10 on 10. Reviews are glowing. Perfect launch. And let's say the devs don't even go through a hellmarch and everything's positive. It's the game of the generation. Sells it a reasonable price. but it doesn't meet the insane expectations of the market.

It doesn't move the millions of new consoles. It doesn't make all of the money like Take 2 or Sony or Microsoft. And it's the biggest release of the year, but the market's expectations are too unrealistic and divorced from reality. Are we in a reality where GTA 6 could flop? No, but there is a reality in which it takes like multiple years for them to make their money back. I have a suspicion that that game's going to have to like clear $25 million to break even. I, so what I would say is, yeah, like based on the last game's tail, I'm sure that like they're factoring in not just that initial point, but the online suite and everything afterwards, which, which turns that expectation into a ridiculous like Goliath monster.

And as we're discussing in a world where people don't have fucking money, you know, that, that's, that's going to be rough, certainly. But it's also like I don't know man it's the thing that people who don't play video games Yeah Grand Theftado gets to be the game That gets to do crazy shit with the price Because people will be like well the only game I'm gonna play

Ever yeah people I'm a gamer people who And well oh yeah what games you play Grand Thefto Yeah people who don't play video games Will come back and buy that right So it's yeah I don't think that's the case I remember being at Magfest

Like five or six years ago And we got an Uber and it was like a 60-year-old black grandma that picked us up. And when she asked what we were going to, we were like, Magfest, it's like a video game and music convention.

She started going on and on and on about how her grandkids got her into Grand Theft Auto 5 online and she plays it all the time. And I'm like, you can't fucking wish on a genie for that kind of fucking market penetration. Yeah. Like that,

like, she, that grandma, there was two paths. One of them was Candy Crush. and this was the other. Yeah. That was it.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like that's, that's, you, you can't even buy that level of cultural attachment. But, but as always, it's effect on the industry around it, or should I say, it's effect on the minds of the C-suite execs around it is the real detriment that we have to look forward to every time. And I can't wait for that game to come out and just have to. to deal with thousands of people yelling at me because I'm like, oh, I don't care about it. Like there will be, there will be investors and there will be executives that will point their hands at Grand Theft Auto and the moment they do, those hands should be cut off.

Like, we just like clean like just like, lightsaber style immediately cauterized. But you know they're going to do it. You know it's going to happen. They're going to start comparing whatever the fuck they're looking at or working on to GTA and going, but why can't we? But if so then we can because, um, yeah. Anyway, I think that's, I think that's pretty much what's going to happen there. Flop.

I don't think it'll flop, but I think, I think they're going to like break even like on launch, but just barely after selling like 25 to 40. million copies and how utterly unsustainable that is. It is going to be the game that, like, I can see whatever the fuck NVIDIA does, I can see it get this thing getting the most yassified of all releases. Yeah, they hate that shit. They absolutely hate that shit over it. Because they're obsessive perfectionists with the look and everything.

Yeah, it's, no, it's anti-rockstar technology. Okay. And there's another one that's here, and I'll just summarize it. It's a bit long, and I saw it come in more than once, but basically, Dear Double Lariat and Drive Parry, basically this person has summarized that there has been a Rising Thunder lore Bible that dropped and if you ever wanted to find out more about the lore of Rising Thunder you can and one of the things in particular I know so the robots are not just robots

there's pilots in the in the cockpits of each of those robots and there's artwork of what the pilots look like in in each of the robots if you wanted to see what their designs were. Go go check that out. And I mean, you know, I think, I did think Rising Thunder is cool. I like robots. I remember the problem being that people are like, we like humans, not robots. And that's that appeal wise, you're not going to get anybody.

But yeah, you can go check out the cool fucking punch girl inside of Dauntless or the dog that's piloting, um, um, um, what you're gonna call? it the Russian robot. Yeah. If you want to. I don't know if I want them to be piloted. Coming in from David. I kind of just wanted them to be anthropomorphized robots like a transformer.

No, but the game, like the little story blurb paragraph with each character did tell you that they were piloted by people. It said, it said that right off the bat. So we did know this, but now there's sketch images of each character. And they look pretty cool. You could not be any less interested That's fine Hey do you want to read the fighting game lore about this dead game

I don't know man I can promise you there's no incest in it Yeah you can't You're not sure Now I'm definitely not interested Have a good week, everybody.