Castle Super Beast - SBFC 017: Today Is All Your Birthdays!

Episode Date: December 3, 2013

Zelda and Mario! Happy happy joy joy! We talk about The Walking Dead, Star Wars, Sega, Oculus Rift, stickers, and the rumoured 5th character of Ultra Street Fighter! Yay Videogames!Got a question for us? Send it to: [e-mail]

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio. For a free trial and 10% off, go to squarespace.com and use offer code Diablo. Is it actually going to be called, is it going to be called Xeno World? No, we know it's going to be called Xeno something. It's going to Xeno something. Xeno World. They refuse to make a game not called Xeno. And you can't call it Xeno Blade 2 because it's not the same thing.

No, it's not. It's got to be different. It could be called Xenomech. Wow. Like the obvious one would be to go for Xeno Gears, but it's not connected at all. They don't own that. It's Xeno U. No, no, no. No, it's Xeno Cop.

I don't even hate it. I can explain that. Just release X. I'll buy it. Just call it X. No, it's not going to be called X. Take the name away and I'll buy it regardless. But what about the X anime? No.

No one bought or watched it. Not only is it going to be called Xeno. It's going to be closest to Gears of any name so far because the X is the same. It's a bright red X that's been painted. History has shown us that every time someone names themselves X, they have to go back and change that shit because too many people did it before. It's Japan. It's 1999.

X everything. X, you can't do it. X, the last blood or whatever the fuck that's called. No, that's my blood. No, shut up. That movie is terrible. That movie is a trap. The original.

I saw it at college. It was so boring. Me too. I walked into an HMV and it said James Cameron says this is the greatest achievement by mankind. Obviously James Cameron doesn't ask shit. I watched it. This is a 40 minute trashy no story piece of nothing. It was boring but it was pretty.

Yeah. Wings of Omni Omni Omnis. Wings of Maynays. What the fuck are you talking about? What are you saying is real. On Teletune they play three anime movies. They play Ninja Scroll, watch it every time. Every time.

Of course. They play on TV. They play Macross. They play one of the Macross movies. I like missiles. And then they play Wings of Omni Omni Omnis. No one knows how to say the last word. Wings of Omni Maynays.

Right. And it was about a guy in his dream to be an astronaut. Not a cool anime astronaut. A regular American astronaut. And he spends about half of the movie sitting down on an air base staring up at the sky. I don't care about this. Holy shit dude. Fucking snoozefest.

But then next week they'll play Ninja Scroll again. If I'm going to watch some of them animes from over in Japan and there's a scene where the main character is staring up at the sky. I want the top of the space colony that he is in to be at the top of the sky. Okay. That's the only way. I want him to be in one of those wicked Gundam, Vanquish style space colonies that are big tubes.

The camera pans up to space and then the colors change. You know the thing that Halo ripped off. And then it just keeps going and you get that colony crashing down on Australia. Or just something dumb in space. What? Why is it in Gundam when you see the world map? There's no Canada left on the world map anymore. What's up with that?

Well, Quebec got destroyed by one of the colonies. Oh, that's a specific thing. They say the name Quebec. There's like a manga side story about that. Yes. The wings of... No, it called the Seattle. It called the Seattle.

That's it. Absolutely. Throwing putzine at the sky. In Far Cry Blood Dragon, I believe Quebec was destroyed in the nuclear war. Yeah, it was. Oh my God. Not great. Not great.

Welcome to the friendcast, episode 17, Real Sombur. Real Sombur. The destruction of a province. Not great. In all of our sci-fi. Overdue, but... Every time! You know what?

There is one... There are two sci-fi universes that I can confirm Quebec does not get blown up in. One is Deus Ex. Yeah. In which you go to that fucking mission in the Olympic stadium of all fucking places. That's a TV studio. And the other is Assassin's Creed. Yes.

Which I've been playing a shit ton of Black Flag. And about halfway through that game you go up to the director's main office. And he's got a goddamn, you know, city-wide view of the most obviously Montreal city I've ever seen. It's got the cross on Mount Royal over in the corner. And it is this beautiful, idealized version. And you're like, where is the building that I'm... It's the Olympic stadium, again. Right.

Yeah, of course. Because it's such a shitty building that it's only a part of the family. It's the shittiest building ever and all the sci-fi future evil corpse want to live in it. It's the only thing people know from anywhere outside of that place. That's true. But they're here! You're gonna say that's true, but it was a big thing when the Olympic stadium opened up in the 60s where people that play games don't play though.

The Olympics can no more lose money than a man can have a child. Sure. Was the mayor's quote at the time. Wow. And then we got saddled with 50 years of the shittiest Olympic stadium ever. Everyone's grandkids are gonna be paying the taxes on that. No, it's off. We paid it.

Really? We paid it. Is the roof working? No. No, it's still the shithole. It's fucked. But it's paid off. The roof collapsed like something like two or three years ago.

Yeah, and that was we were on the verge of paying it. And then the fucking thing just broke. And then we had to pay to repair it. It's shaped like a giant toilet. What do you want? An uncomfortable one. You're on a bad night. Try sleeping on the other side.

It's basically a bidet for a giant. Yeah. It's for a Titan. It's got the little legs, water squirter and everything. Yeah, Liam. How's your week? Yeah, what's been going on? It was really good.

I was just playing video games. I finished Super Mario 3D World, unlocked the secret character. How many worlds are in there? Eight. There are eight. There are always eight. And then more when you beat it. That's okay.

So, way to not answer my question at all. There's eight. It's been every Mario game for a long time now. There's eight. I've finished 11. And there is at least a 12th one that you have to get all the collectibles for. Why can't you ask rules? I'm really close to that.

Just fucking answer my question. I answered your question. Because they got to show you credits so that, oh, good job, Grandpa. You beat a video game. Because an average of plebs have left the room. Because I'm halfway through World 4, and I'm like, there's way more stamps than four more worlds more.

Fucking green stars, man. Yeah. I finished Tearaway. Tearaway was really good. By the way, is Super Mario good? It's fantastic. It's excellent. Well, you didn't say it, so I didn't know.

If you have a Wii U and you do not own this game, then what are you? Someone that doesn't like Mario. Yeah, tough. You have a Wii U. I know a guy who bought it for Platinum games, and he refuses to... You mean you? No.

And he refuses to buy Mario, because that justifies his purchase, that he wants to remain mad about. Why? Because he likes the idea of saying, fucking stupid Wii U, got to buy it for Bayo 2, so much that he doesn't want to buy actual good Nintendo games for it. That's ridiculous.

That's ridiculous with a toaster. Yeah. I used to toast certain toasts in this toaster. I will not support Peter Bread. Exactly. That's ridiculous. That's shit. How's Tearaway?

Tearaway, it's a super solid platformer that just does... It's just super well polished, but then it uses all the Vita gimmicks really well. Some subtle stuff, like just tapping the back to bounce around, to just jabbing your fucking finger into the game. It's very cool. Now, you were talking of Tearaway real hard last week. Yeah.

Off the podcast. But how is it fair to compare that to Super Mario? I think, like, I played... So, I played those two and I played A Link Between Worlds. Yes. And I think if you had to put Tearaway, it would be third. A firm third place. But it would be along...

It would be hanging out with those guys. But it would still be a nine. It could spit in their general direction. No, it could spit on them. If it wanted to, it could dignitly spit on them. It could show up at the party and be, like, hey, get out of my face, Tearaway. But they wouldn't say, Tearaway, you can't show up.

They would be like, hey, Tearaway, come on in here and fuck my girlfriend. No, for sure. They have a slightly higher pay grade, but they're still social. Tearaway, you can watch, though. You're more than welcome to watch. Yeah. Don't do it in that weird Vita touch shit, though. But you have to have one eye closed.

You can only use one eye closed. Only one eye closed. Liam, I noticed a startling lack of trophy posts on our Facebook about this. I'm concerned. I don't know what's going on, but do we need to step in and help? Well, you actually noticed that. Yeah. I'm surprised you guys noticed that.

Because I'm used to my fucking feet being spammed to shit with your garbage, Liam. So what's going on? We're concerned. So I think the Vita ones are still there. Okay. If I'm not mistaken, those are still there. I'm pretty sure they are. So when I got on the PS4 and turned on the PS4 trophy sharing thing, that night I went

on Facebook and I saw that each trophy was posted individually. And I said, fuck that. I'm turning that off. Oh, no. Well, because previously it was, Liam has done 10 things in Assassin's Creed, whatever. And we all care. Really? Some people did.

I have that feature turned on. He has that feature turned on. And nobody's getting on my shit. No. It's only when it's only when it's all grouped in a giant amount and you, it happens to you because you play a lot, obviously. Yeah. But then there was our other friend.

Yeah. Like had to sync up his shit when PSN went down. Oh, no. And then we just got blasted with 80 trophies. Said, wow, that dude played a lot of video games. So I was like, you're just unfriended until this shit sorts itself out. And I'll check back with you. I remember having trophies and dates.

I remember being mad about that. You were mad about that. Yeah. You were like, what? Like, no, you idiot. No. Is it Taroway's radical? Taroway's great.

Who are you if you have a Vita? Okay. I don't know what Taroway is. Who are you? Who are you? Is Taroway a platform? It's a platform. Okay.

It's definitely a platform. Does it have a really bad little big plan of jump physics? No, it's great. Great. It actually feels really tight. Yeah. Is it made by medium molecule? It's made by like a 16 man team in medium molecule.

So they do know how to make good jump physics? They do. They just choose not to? They just choose not to. It's motherfuckers. I think those games kind of share off with one of the press events and it's about ripping stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So I guess I'm just really excited to get home tonight for the fleeting hours of the new Pikmin 3 DLC because I'm really excited. How much does that cost? Normally they're about 99, but this one's like twice the content and it's new assets so it's five bucks. Okay, but what's the cost to staff ratio on this Pikmin DLC?

Five missions, rehashing kind of level layout but changing all the stuff in the level for two bucks. This one is new assets. Okay, no, but that doesn't tell me anything because I don't know how long missions are. Missions are minimum 10 minutes to complete each and good luck getting a platinum anywhere near your first shot. Okay, that sounds like it. Like it is replay heaven on these things.

I'm still like making my way through the first batch, the second batch of DLC and I have like 30 something out of it. The last one is that crazy one where you're in a house during Christmas on race tracks. That's one of them, exactly. Yeah, and the other ones are like... I might do a toy story when I first saw it. A little bit. And the other ones they showed are like almost throwbacks to Pikmin 1 and 2 and like their

themes and stuff. It's really neat. I'm really excited for it. Who cares about any of that shit? Yeah, we all should. Late between worlds. Late between worlds is fantastic. I want to talk about that shit too.

We'll get that, but it just feels so good that game. It's so good. Jump across the table. No. No. Because we're together now. Well, no, because you can pick up on talking about the dungeon you were playing. Yeah, yeah, no.

Yeah, no, I didn't play late between worlds at all. Anyway, no. No, I was very, very busy. Like I'll just start with like the game stuff, but like, yeah, I played on a shitload of late between worlds. And after you complete the first three standard dungeons, I was like, this is really fucking easy, but whatever. I'm still having tons of fun.

And then you get to low rule and I'm not sure if either of you guys... I just got to low rule. Because as soon as you walk out the door to low rule, there's two cyclops just throwing bombs, rapid fire, like two birds pecking your asshole, and I died right after I walked out because I was like, holy shit, what the fuck? You literally came to the wrong neighborhood motherfucker. And every NPC you meet is like, shit's bad here. Get out.

We don't want you here. Everyone's a huge snarmy asshole to me, like, I don't want to go to low rule, and I got them. I don't want to go. It's the dark world in Metroid Prime 2. That's what I was going to say. No one wants to be in dark worlds. But yeah, it's absolutely fantastic.

I've been kind of not playing other stuff because I've been playing that most. And I played like a bit more Mario and kind of I need to play more, but I played a bunch of Rise, actually. It kind of sat down and I'll play it. And Rise like has a really, really rough, not rough, but really boring start. Like the first two missions are boring, and I was kind of like, eh. Do you not feel like a son of Rome? No, that's all fine.

It's just something, like I was telling Liam, it's like they throw one guy after another on you, and you kill that guy, the other guy comes up, you kill that guy, and I was kind of like, eh, I guess I feel. Is it true you can play the game one handed? I don't, yes, but once you get to the later levels. Like you're going to just get killed by guys. I think D. James told us about this, is that if you just start not pressing the wrong prompts, but you're still kill guys, then you don't get, let's say, bonuses, like XP.

If you don't level up your guy, eventually you're going to get killed. I want to see slow-mo, like, flourished executions with a dude with a super blasé face. Just like, eh. Like, instead of a T-pose, his face is in T-pose. Yeah, exactly. But no, every time you kill a guy or you kill a guy, there's XP, there's guys like, oh, God, oh, jeez, all the time. What I was going to say is that the game actually really picked up for me when you finish conquering

the Britons, which are all barbarian assholes, right? They're like, so you have this horrible war, everyone's just, like, all your guys are like, you know, have no morale, they're all dirty, and you finally like, oh, for the glory of Rome, though, we did it, guys, oh, yeah. And you go back to your camp, and the most foppish douchebag asshole I've ever seen since Kefka comes up in that, in not purple robes, not purple Roman robes, he comes out in a fucking dress with, like, sequenced gold earrings, and he's like, where's my brother Comedians?

Do these, these are, these are spot barbarians? Do they have? And then both your guy Maros. That's an orcs noisy. That's what he's doing. I'm not even joking. This is the most cartoon, like, the game is super serious. Everyone's like, yes, I'm Roman, and that's about it.

You're basically Lucius Verinas, I would assume. You're not, yeah, you're Lucius Verinas. Your guy's really like, kind of, you know, stoic. Tough man Roman. Yeah, whatever, whereas Titus was more like, yeah, joking around. So at this point, where this guy comes in, I'm like, okay, now you've got, like, something for me. And then they go, oh, you're gonna have to go to the dark lands where the horned men

live. Wow. Or a more beast than human. And I'm like, wait, what? That sounds like Germany. And it sounds like Germany, and it reminds me of a movie I really like, I'm not sure about this one, 13th warrior with Antonio Banderas, where he's like, he's Altair, and he travels with Vikings, and they kill a bunch of horned bare men.

It's based on the Michael Crichton novel. Okay. Right? And I'm like, okay, you're pulling some things I like. They throw fantasy in there? I think it will just be guys dressed up to be scary. I hope not. But I don't know.

Okay. But I haven't gone there yet. But so then they go, you're gonna get owned if you go there, and your dude goes, nah, Rome were the best, then it cuts through a cutscene of we got owned. It was pretty good. I enjoyed that immensely. And you got a bunch more KI with you especially. Of course.

How is KI guys? KI, well. Really? How do you think KI is? KI is pretty good. Jingle jingle. Jingle jingle, yes. Money in your pockets.

Coins, coins, yes. No, it's really fun. I'm really enjoying it. And I do almost thought you played DSB. Yeah. I don't know what the deal is there, but it had to have been. Because it's sound, dude, it was so unmistakable. Well, it was a game of tag.

Not DSB. It was, and it was like, I'm like, is he on an alt account or something? No, no, he doesn't play on alt accounts. No, you're crazy. Yeah, sure. No. That's what that is. I've basically been on this KI high and really have been enjoying it.

The one, like two things though, one, now that everyone has a connect, everyone doesn't have to put on a headset. Right. They can just yell at your room. How is that? Yeah. Does it have room hiss? It does.

There's no room hiss. That's great. But if someone's listening to some bullshit music in the alt, oh god, the problem has now come back even worse. You've got to listen to that shit. Oh my god. But I was watching Max do a couple of videos and he was talking to a guy that they can't hear what each other's saying, but there was no music there.

But that sounded good. I didn't hear anyone else on his video. But it's kind of funny though, because sometimes I plug my connect all the time. Sure. Your connect is over there behind a spool of CDs. Yeah. The last time we booted it, there was just CDs in front of the amp. Yeah.

And it was telling you, I don't think that's your face. Yeah, it is. I think this is a CD. But no, it's fun though, because sometimes you can actually figure out what the room is, like where you're playing. Yeah. I played against a guy that would seem to know what he was doing, and you could hear the sounds of a street fighter set up in the background.

Oh, nice. With KO. See, that's interesting that you find that uplifting, because in my time where I played back in the 360 days, like say Call of Duty 4 or Modern Warfare 2 or Halo or something, more often than not, you would hear children screaming at their parents or my favorite baby crying in the background. Oh yeah. Everyone's got an adult's plane while screaming at their children.

Everyone's favorite of a person who isn't using the microphone to speak, and there is a baby screaming in the background the entire time. I'm stunned by the amount of babies who exist. Well, that was one of my favorite rage quit messages of all time, was Dude Rage Quits and then sends the hate letter afterwards, and it's like, I only lost because I have to go change my babies diapers, you punk bitch. I thought you were going to say that made up woman, the one that's been around the internet for a while.

I was like, you only lost because I needed to fuck my bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's your alternative, but no, lots of that. This weekend as well, had a good time, me and my girlfriend, we played some Mario. I chose that over Link for now, I wanted to go through that, fucking co-op bliss, man. Super awesome, super fun game. Mario is like the Mario. I see some people say that playing our co-op, that they go, I'm not hating the person that I'm playing.

Oh yeah, because you're on 3D space and on 2D. I am a jaded, cynical, anti-joy, hate-co-op-hating asshole, and I had a blast playing co-op in that game. That game is just happiness. Except for when they go through the fucking pipes, when you know there's a green star around the corner. You know it, you know it. And you tell them, don't go.

And then they go, eh. That's the, well, you know how I play games, I'm not a huge fan of playing two players in this game, because you know I just do bullshit all the time, just like, no, the platform's out there. Is there a green star down there? Jump. No, no, no, but I mean, it's like, no, the platform's not here yet, it doesn't matter, I've already done a long jump, and cat-dived onto the wall.

And then the camera pans backwards when I die. That was the biggest issue I had, is that I was going so far forward, that at the edges, right before it teleports the person behind you, you can't see where you are at the front. And it becomes a serious problem when you die. And if they're using toad, and they're running twice as fast as you, then fuck. It's a serious problem. But no, super bliss, unadulterated joy, amazing fun times. Great.

Did that, watch, also showed her Indie Game of the Movie, which I don't know if it's... Asked her to fish in Magnum Opus. Well, it's one of those things where it's like, in the beginning you go, okay, one of these three game creators is batshit crazy. Which is the third one? It's James J. Blow, and Phil Fish, and Tee Meek, and Tee Meek, yeah. And let's see if you can figure out which one it is by the end of the movie. I'm going to kill myself if I don't, yeah.

I thought it'd be funny if they're like, which one of these three creators has something to comment, and like a clock ticks down, and what's your answer? They're all a bunch of cunts. Which one of these three creators made a game that's actually good? Everyone but that guy. Oh, right. What a great segue into nothing. We don't have no, no, I'm just like...

This is terrible! Oh! You like this? This is terrible! We don't have to specify. You shouldn't have specified. Fez is fine. Fez is terrible!

Remember when they gave you that now? I actually fucked up your game and refused to fezz it. To like a tiny percentage of people. Fez is beautiful, and then they said, no, I don't want to spend my money. Fez is beautiful until it gets ugly. There's a point in the movie where they're asking him to like, yeah, a guy from, I think, whatever game spots interviewing him, and they're like, hey, so yeah, I'm seeing a bit of like, influences, you know, old NES games, and he's like, yeah, bits of Mario in there.

He's like, yeah, bits of Cave Story. He's like, no. And I'm like, pause video. And my girlfriend's like, what? And I'm like, Google Cave Story. Show image. Show another image. And she just starts laughing.

Hey, look, that's a lie. Yeah, that's lying. And then play. Go. Continue. But no, so that was it. Of course, JoJo's still going, reading My Stone Ocean. I'll get around to finishing this.

When you're done, let us know. Yeah, I'll let you know. Exactly. No point in going on. And beyond that, birthday week. Hey. Hey. It's your birthday.

Who's a big boy? Well, he's a big boy. How long are you going to turn? Everybody's birthday. I love it. I'm really glad that I saw you celebrated by posting that awesome picture of you with Bayo, Faith, and Ellen Page, that I'm sure you totally didn't commit yourself to draw. How do you know that Art of L, Lena drew that right after she did the Zybatzu photo?

Right after you paid her money to do it. It was a gift. It was a gift. Yeah. Why are you hating? We can't confirm. Why are you hating? Because it's so easy.

Yeah. Don't hate. Participate. Okay. All right. Before we forget. Well, no. Well, we can finish your thing.

My thing was just a fancy guy. Yes. You know, birthday week. I hope you guys can make it out to the birthday celebrations. Yes. You're inviting everyone on the podcast to your birthday party. Yes. Today is all your birthdays.

Hey. No. You guys are coming, I hope, because it's pretty much the one thing I don't know why we haven't done yet. I do like the button on Facebook. What do you want from me? It's insane to the crowd. Whatever.

We're on a podcast right now. You just tell them like, I didn't check the attendees. There's a lot of people. You'll see. If you can find Willy's house, you're welcome. Except it's not in my place and I'm not going to tell you where it is. No, no. The after party will be there.

So just break in. Oh, nice. I'd love to see you there. When I'm alone home. The more of you, the better. The Pacific Rim drinking game is going down. Oh, we're all going to die. It's great.

I don't know how we're doing this. I'm like, this isn't too accurate. That's not going to do it though. That never plays the drinking game. You didn't come to the barcade. That's right. K.I. was pretty rough. We were at night.

No, but I think we're going to have fun with that. And of course, I love the one of when the swords come out, chug your beer. But it only comes out once. Yeah. Twice. Yeah, you're right. But no, but no, but you say that. But the intro one is anytime a new Jaeger or Kaiju shows up.

Do you take a stand? That was vicious. Do you remember the prologue? I remember the prologue. You're going to be sipping really fast. So it's basically chug five beers right at the start. Just go. It's not going to be Top Gun, but it's going to be...

Top Gun was the worst drinking game we have ever played. Never, ever, ever play the Top Gun drinking game. It is... Stomach pump alert. It is... I think they could be summarized by saying anytime the 80s happened. We didn't even get to the thing with Goose. We didn't even make it 20 minutes in there.

We all smacked. Done. Over. You can't play the Top Gun. Bad week. Go. I played Top Gun for AC4. It's really good.

I'm like AC3. I agree. AC3 was really bad. Are you pausing for rebuttal? No. I'm just... Everything that was bad in AC3 is now good in AC4. Good.

And riding around on boats and jacking boats is awesome. I don't really have much to say because it's like Assassin's Creed 2 again. But better with boats. Played those board games. I played a shit ton of Mario. There's nothing to say other than that game Rocks. Yeah. It's very happy.

I played a ton of Link Between Worlds. That's the first good Zelda game since Ocarina of Time. That's a shit mistake. Lim? Lim? Do not feed. Do not feed. You're a fucker, Pat.

Yeah, you're a fucker. Fuck you. Fuck you. Even though we were totally agreeing on all the Link Between Worlds shit. Okay, within 50 minutes I had beaten the first dungeon. Yeah. In Skyward Sword, 50 minutes doesn't even get you the sword. Okay?

It respects your time. You start the game and it says go. Go to the thing. Sure. I think that's a handheld game and they should be designed like that. They should all be designed like that. I think the point is less that it's a handheld game and more that it's a 20 hour game. Okay, that means you're too busy establishing grooves.

You're allowed to not give you a solid shit. Let me point it out to you this way. In Skyward Sword, you had a sequence in which every single part of the controls is explained to you in Skyloft. Yeah, sure. 45 minutes, okay? When you go to the temple, not the temple, the castle. They don't teach you to swing your sword. With the sword, okay?

There's dudes doing sword stuff. And if you want to talk to them, they'll be like, hold down the beat button and use spin attack, right? But I don't know how to do that shit. Just run by them and ignore them because you don't need them. When you talk to Ravi, he's like, hey man, do you understand the quick slagger or how bombs work or some shit? And you go, yes. And it goes great. Go to a dungeon.

Go fight in a dungeon. Length of the past is the best Zelda game. And this is just like that. So it's the second best Zelda game. It's the easiest thing ever. Your opinion. I still think it's your opinion. And I respect your opinion.

Man, you look for different things in Zelda than we do. My thing in Zelda is I want to run around and explore. I don't want to play the dungeon puzzle fetish that the 3D Zeldas have become. Where all the gameplay is how do I mirror this light beam to fucking hit my hooks? Fuck that! Who cares? I want to go into a dungeon, do a simple puzzle, and then fight dudes. Did you play Twilight Princess? Yeah.

They had great dungeons. Yeah, they were pretty good. They were great. But... So just fuck the new Ganon then. Fuck every game with the new cool Ganon in it. Just don't even bother. Well, to be fair, we don't know what happens at the end of Link.

I know. No, but he said like all the 3D Zeldas. So it's just like, oh, all the ones with the really cool Ganon. No, you're right. Really cool Ganon. I'm not going to argue that the really cool Ganon is not really cool. He's super cool. Fuck the coolest.

Old Pig Ganon is shit. And it's super piss. I hate it that it's Old Pig Ganon. At the end of the day, I want there to be some Zelda game and then Ganon appears and it's just the cartoon Ganon. Link between worlds is... Link between worlds is by far the closest to that cartoon we've ever gotten in a Zeldas. The Link just looks like, looks just like that Link.

Ganon looks just like that Ganon. But it doesn't have the weird sexual tension between Link and Zelda every scene. Actually, no, it does. What? There's a guy who says that Zelda just stares at a painting of an old Zelda and an old Link every night before going to bed. Damn. That's dedication.

She just stares at it. And then you show up and she's like, you! Here's my pendant. Here, just take it. After all this, we're going to fuck. You got to give it to Nintendo for both of those games where the moment you get your hand on the controller, you just feel all that quality, all that QA. Yeah, just fucking oozing out of it.

Like the instant you get the sword in Link between worlds and hit B to swing the sword, you go, that's how I want the sword to swing. It feels great. It's got the good range. It's got a good speed. You just mash it and it goes, oh, it's so good. On the topic of the feel of a Link between worlds. Yes.

I think it's really funny because I'm not a huge fan of the feel of a Link to the past. Right. But I love the feel of the Game Boy ones. That is to say, specifically the Oracle games and Awakening. I love those ones. What's the difference? It's just subtle differences. If I say them, it'll be like the sword swings quick, but it does it in both.

But when you play it, you're like, okay, the sword has a larger range in the Game Boy ones versus that one. We've got the larger range in this one. There's a lot of weird little tiny things that you would only know if you played them both. And this game strikes me way closer to the Game Boy ones. And so I'm way more excited about going to play it now than I was before I played it. There's a weird thing that happens to the way that you control because there's analog movement now. It makes it a lot easier.

The other guys with the really long spears, you only get the one side. They're a lot easier to deal with now than they used to be. Because you can do a curve and hit them in their bed place. One thing you might be missing out on is the fact that this is the only game in a long-ass time that I'm like turned that 3D on and it's actually good. The 3D is actually amazing. It's not annoying at all. You enjoy it. I would agree with you, except for my stance of all 3D is always terrible.

Which is a hard line stance on good things, unfortunately. 95% of the time. I don't like it. It doesn't make my eyes feel good when I look at the 3DS. No, I can't. My eyes are fine and my eyes are actually bad. If the game doesn't write, if it's 3D land or this, God, I'm having a hard time finding another example. Kid Icarus? Yeah, I get it. Nintendo games.

Yeah, they know how to God make your eyes feel. Is there crosstalk? Because there was crosstalk in 3D land and there was crosstalk in Icarus. It was not bad in either of those games, but it's even better in Zelda. But is there crosstalk? I've seen it in one scene so far. Then it's terrible. Dude, it's the one scene where they show you the Triforce at the beginning.

I don't care. It was crosstalk is way worse to me as an image quality problem than any games 3D can give me. It's just noteworthy that it's not offensive 3D. But say goodbye to 3D on the next handheld, considering how it's gone this time, in which even I'll admit that the 3D on the Nintendo games is fucking way better than all the other shit. And the 2DS is apparently doing super good. Hooray, 3D will leave forever. And I will be happy.

And mono speakers will come back forever. Who the fuck plays handheld games without headphones? I don't know why you buy a machine with mono speakers. But to segue right in, for those of you who bought that really nice Zelda 3DS, that's really cool, but look at this new silver Mario and Luigi one. Yeah, it's kinda nice. I thought it was really cool. I think it's cute.

Not as nice as the Zelda one. But I'm just like, fuck guys, stop making nice 3DSes. Are any of them coming out over here? No, just buy more. Just buy more. Make a nice 2DS or like chill for a minute. I don't know, the default 2DS is pretty nice actually. It is.

Yeah, but I want like, I want my purple Majora's Mask. Yeah, but the 2DS doesn't have a lot of space that you would actually see the color. Yeah, you're right, they would just be the borders. Yeah. Wait for a year and you'll get your Majora's Mask. When the 2DS light comes out, then you'll have your Majora's Mask. Oh, I want a 2DS micro. You think it's too much, but it's actually too little.

No, man, too much. Bucket list of like, 2DS micro. I'd buy it. Yeah. No, but I saw this silver one and I'm like, when did that, this other one was announced like a minute before it came out. Dude, don't even look at Japan's list. Don't even look.

The Monster Hunter 4, I think it has three 3DS's. The new one piece coming out has two 3DS XL's. And they're all sick. Don't look at Japan. But you can't possibly get them out. Don't look at Japan. Just make stickers. Give us the chance.

Oh, get out. I bought some stickers for the Vita. They were shitty. I'm not surprised. Don't buy stickers for your handhelds. It's a nightmare. The only stickers you should buy are the two best friend stickers at SharkRobot.com. Yeah.

You can just slap that shit on anything and make it way cooler. Like your sister. That was a totally innocent joke and you guys just massacred it. Why are you slapping stickers on his sister's face? Because none of them are cool. I'll slap stickers on your sister's face. The fuck is wrong with you guys? I don't know where that's going.

Like in my head, I've seen the videos where they're slapping grade A stickers on booties. I know that video. You know what I mean? And it's like, that's her. I thought you were going? What? Why would I go there? I don't know, Liam.

Sometimes you go places. Isn't that the only place to go though? No. I was just going to mash a sticker on my sister's forehead. Oh. Okay. It was innocent. Jeez.

This time. Jeez. No, it's not like a Rape Lane reference or anything. Don't do this. We're all going to jail now. Move it along. This is the worst podcast ever. Liam mentioned Monster Hunter and it was like maybe some Monster Hunter news today.

That was the most depressing news ever. I know what news he's talking about and it makes me want to die also. I've never felt like dying because of something Capcom did yet. This was my one. You're new. You don't have as much time with the story franchise, but this is so bad. Dude, specifically for this topic, I have some Kool-Aid mixed with Poison. Drink isn't strict.

Is it Strict 9? It's Strict 9. Oh yeah, Rat Poison. It is blue and it's blue Kool-Aid. I love it. I know. I love Breath of Fire. I love Breath of Heart.

You're being burned by that one, but this is the one that did me. Well, the news is to me I'm not that affected by it because I got this when they said, Hey, five new Capcom games. Mobile. All mobile. But this is worse than that. Okay, so the news is Monster Hunter profits are enormous. First of all.

Massive. And the hugest, biggest game in Japan. And all the success of Monster Hunter 4 is being invested in a new... Not all of it. A lot of our 64 billion yen is being invested in a Capcom mobile studio. In Osaka. Yeah. So they're not giving up.

They're pushing harder. Instead of outsourcing their mobile, they now want to make it themselves. They still have an outsourced mobile company. It's not closed. Sure. But now they want to be responsible for the garbage themselves. Well, more of the garbage themselves. At least you could own up to it at that point.

Okay. So it used to be, we would joke about Capcom would say, It's called the Capcom test. Where Capcom would always say something fucking horrible like, Hey, if you guys want Resident Evil games on the Wii, maybe you should buy a grab a Brella Chronicles. And then you did it. And then they said,

Wow, thanks to all the success of Umbrella Chronicles. Here's another shitty game just like that. Like you want it. They're taking that logic and taking the test part out and just giving you the bad results. You bought monster like people in Japan overwhelming. They love Monster Hunter. Monster Hunter is a fantastic portable core game

for people who love traditional old timey Capcom video games. So thanks guys. We appreciate that. We're now going to pump that into all this shit that you hate. Now to be fair, in Japan, they love it. In Japan, they love it. But the fact that us, we're getting told this core game is now instead of making stuff that North America or European market wants,

they're pumping it into stuff that only Japan wants. Now that is not to say Capcom is going to spend any less on Monster Hunter. Oh yeah, of course. Because dear God, why would you? No, no, they spend nothing on Monster Hunter anyway. What I will say about that mobile thing, like where Japan loves it, that is completely like fallacious. Well, he loves it more than we do.

No, it's the same as here. It's the same as here. Where a tiny portion of Wales subsidized the entire smartphone market by being crazy people who spent thousands of dollars on what's it called? Puzzle and Dragon. Puzzle and Dragon. Which is unfortunately great. That's what I meant by that's in my head.

There's more of them over there. But it's the same kind of... And it's the same thing where everyone wants to be instead of a call of duty. They want to be Candy Crush or Puzzle and Dragons. Or Clash of Heroes. Or Clash whatever. Fuck it. That one's good.

So yeah. It's not the same. If you buy Street Fighter, maybe Street Fighter will come to mobile. Yay! Why are we buying your games now? If we're going to potentially get sequels? In all fairness, it was a small portion in the big picture. It wasn't like...

But it just... It wasn't like 80%. Exactly. I was going to say, let's not overblow it. They have to announce this. Like who even cares? Their investors give a fucking shit. Yeah, but this is a press release that gets sent to us.

There's tons of stuff that happens behind the scenes that people don't know. Like admittedly that's what I was going to say. It's like let's not overblow it. It's not like they announced this for gaff. You know what I mean? But look at it the other way. Where they made so much money. They did.

That they could open a studio. And by having that studio open, it does not in any way hinder their meager console development teams. And to be fair, Monster Hunter costs literally nothing to make. Almost literally nothing. Because Monster Hunter has now hit the point where it's basically Capcom's New Street Fighter 2. Right. Where they do nothing to it. They change literally nothing.

They don't improve it even. And if they do change things, people freak out. Like they add new weapons. Like they added characters in Super Turbo. And if anything changes, people go crazy. And what's happening is that new clones are showing up in game quality. And getting better. You're just being like, make good games Capcom.

Just make games already. The thing is that it's great if that's a surplus. And like you said, they open up a studio. I think where Matt you're coming from and the sentiment of most of the people yelling is the connotation. You're voting with your dollars usually means I'm putting money into the thing I support to make more of the thing I want. Sure. And when that chain breaks, and when you spend money on a thing that doesn't pay back into what you like, you start to get like... I don't 100% agree on that statement.

Because they made so much fucking... They made enough money to make a ton of Monster Hunters. Yes. And they have so much. No, that's why I said the connotation. That's why I said the connotation. That's why I said the connotation. It's the feeling of I spent my money and you're making...

If you say that for every company, then like we wouldn't... Yes. Weoncom has given us no reason to be like this. Capcom is legendarily terrible at understanding what people buying their games to support them actually needs. Sure, but if we ran on that mentality of like 100% of this game's profits will go to the franchise and nothing else, we wouldn't have a new Fire Emblem. Well, how about this? We wouldn't have... We don't have a new Fire Emblem.

Are you joking? Do we have the shitty one from Mobile we don't want? We just got an amazing entry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I swear to God I thought you meant Breath of Fire. Oh, no, Fire Emblem. Which we do. Which we don't have a new one.

Yeah. And we do have a shitty Mobile. Yeah, no, Fire Emblem. Sorry. No, no, no, no worries. But also, fuck this news. Hey, you know what's way worse than this news? Anybody see that fucking trailer for Dragon Quest VIII on fucking Mobile?

It's depressing. Who wants to play a bad PS2 port in portrait mode on your phone? What? Only $28. For $28? What? Is it Square Enix Mobile? Remember?

The trailer at the end has a shot of the opening cutscene in portrait mode and then the phone, like, overlay disappears to show you that you're missing 80% of the screen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The kicker is, their marketing for this is fucking amazing. Cause I don't know if you caught this, but they're putting all 1 through 8 on smartphones. And they gave away a million units of the first one.

So their marketing is already off to a fucking roll. So they're gonna sell tons of this shit. So phones are ruining our lives. It's like in Dragon Quest, man. That shit's gonna move. Dude, they got rid of all million free ones in the first day. And our Dragon Quest nut friend probably is responsible for a chunk of those. They're gonna, well, Asia only, but I don't know.

They're gonna make a disgusting amount of money off these eight games. Like, fucking $28 for a fucking... It's so fucking depressing. That is unbelievable. On your phone. On your phone. In portrait mode. If it was on anything else, it'd be fine.

It would be fine, but it would've been better. Did any of you guys do anything or spend any money on Cyber Monday? I did, actually. Yeah. What'd you buy? TV. Oh, yeah. How is that?

I saw that you posted about that. It's great. It's awesome. Where's the old TV? It's sitting next to my couch. Behind the new TV. Where's that gonna go? I'm gonna sell it to somebody.

Can I buy it off you? What? You're not gonna give it to your dad? They have a nicer TV than I do. Oh, shit. Can I buy it off you? Well, no, they used to have a nicer TV than I do. Now I have a slightly nicer TV.

Can I buy it off you? My TV's dying. Okay, how much? Yeah, Liam's barely HD. My CRT. So I already have somebody lined up, so you'll have to beat their price by like at least $300. Like, Liam, do you even HDMI? Well, I have that little screen with the HDMI, but like, I have a 36 inch CRT.

I got a fancy new TV. I love it. Recommended by DisplayLag.com. Yeah, I heard it. It's having less than one frame of input lag. So hooray. Okay. Looks shiny.

That responsive. Well, if any of you guys out there are also looking to get your hands on a copy of Xenoblade or Metroid Prime, guess what? Those rumors came true. What rumors? That GameStop was gonna restock on them. Those motherfuckers. Yeah, now they're there.

You can go buy those games. Are they new? They're there. Are they new? No, they're the found ones. Oh, well then, who gives a fucking shit? You can get it cheaper off eBay and they look better. No, they're on at these prices you can't.

40 bucks. 40 bucks? Yes. Although the sale's over because it's Tuesday. Well, they'd still have copies, but they wouldn't be the sales over. They're back up to $70 now. Yes, they're not at $40. Whatever, man, when the prices crashed because the original found copies, I grabbed one off

eBay for $55. All right, but you could have got a $40 copy. Yeah, well, you know what? I don't give a shit. I wanted it. I have it now. Speaking of Cyber Monday, I'd just like to say that today is the last day you can buy the two best friends' merchandise using the promo code Sharkatag.

It's Tuesday. Thank you for waking up and saying that, man. Yeah, no. I was told I need to remind everyone of that. Always ready to chill. Good on you, man. Yeah, yeah. So can we start a new segment called Is This Even True?

I can make two shirts by myself, which I usually do. I want to start a segment called Is This Even True? The answer's always going to be yes. Is it? Yes. Is it even true that in Brazil a total of zero PS4s have been sold? No, because as of today, one guy bought one. Well, okay.

What's his name? Lord Eternal. Yeah, Lord Eternal bought a PS4. Which I believe is just Liam using another name. Liam in Brazil. With a hat and sheets on. I think the zero PS4 things is such a bullshit sensationalist headline. Because let's be real here.

There's a bunch of people in Brazil who have $2,000 to blow. At least someone's going to buy one. But if the thing starts at zero, what's the thing then? They're not going to buy it from fucking Brazil. They're going to buy it from Lixang or some shit. Imagine you can't even import them. Let's just even forget about that. You can, though.

Where said zero? The only place that said zero was that headline. I highly doubt that's actually true. I bet at least one fucking millionaire bought one. And that night, before you even set up your fucking PSN account, you and your family get beheaded by crazy drug dudes. Yeah, you're done. Because that shit's gone.

Therefore, no one bought that one. But I don't believe it. The second that zero were sold. There's a picture of a store. On that price I do. There's a picture of the store with four of them sitting next to each other. What's not pictured is the drug lords across the street staring at anybody who dares pick one up.

That shit's not great. I felt weird. I'm missing a part of the narrative. Why are the drug lords stopping people from buying PlayStation? No, they want to get because they want to steal them. Because they're fucking expensive, and if anyone's going to play one, it's going to be the dude that runs the cartel. But the drug lords guys are rich.

No, they're not. They're not? I guess not. Then what's the point of being a drug lord? I've got to look into this. Consider a career change. Alright, and in a shift. The point is selling drugs.

You're not going to get rich. You make minimum wage selling drugs. That's bullshit. Hey, risk versus reward. Think of all the crack you get. I think, you know what? What's up, Willie? Pat, so you like your Sega IPs?

I do. I like them way more than I like Sega. Okay. Now, would you like them even more in the hands of Atlas? Yes, yes I would, Willie. In a lot of cases, maybe. This is a topic that I'll say is a bullshit sensationalist thing. That means nothing.

That means absolutely nothing. It's like I say, we could do this. Guess what we're not going to fucking do. It means that if certain of the fanboys haven't been in a tizzy for at least a couple months now. In Persona 5, if you want to have a Shining Force 2 game box on someone's shelf, you could do it. Why make this announcement? And by the way, the announcement is Atlas are free to use Dormit Sega IPs. Says the company president.

It was an interview segment. It wasn't an announcement. They didn't come out and say that. They were asked, like, are you going to use Atlas IPs? Well, they said Atlas is free to use. And I don't agree with Matt on the, like, we're never going to do it. They're never going to do it. No, but I think if Atlas wants to, like, they will.

But Atlas will keep making what they want. Exactly, but Sega's not going to be like, no, no, no, don't bring back Skies of Arcadia. Like, if they want to, they're going to get away with it. Sega probably will. Sega probably will. They said no, no, no, no, no more Streets of Rage like three times. They'd be like, hey, but three projects. Sure, but they said it like internally.

They also went on to say, we're not going to touch Atlas. Like, they're fucking profitable. We're just going to leave them be. Like, they've got, like, the charts of how much joy a new Skies of Arcadia would bring to the children. And they're like, yeah, no, no, no, no, we can't let this be. We need to take those souls. See, if the children are happy, they won't need Sonic to make them happy. Thus, profits go down.

That, bam. Bam. That's it. Bam, that's it. Yusuzuki dead. I don't think so. That's not in the plans yet. Also, that's not true.

We're not dead. No, we're not. We're not there yet. Yuji Naka's dead. Yeah. No, Yuji Naka's dead. It's firmly in the ground. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't think so. He is, he is, he is spin dashing in his grave. Oh. Oh. As I was, as I was reading the eulogy, you just were like, suck on. Yo, is the day of the Skies soldier ever coming out? No.

Ever. God. It's finished. Yeah, I know. When is it coming out? I want it. Was that a galf or something? No, it's from something, it's from some other fighting game.

Finish. So this was just some interview with some Sega guy, and among some of these questions were like, the guy's like, hey, Atlas RPGs are super popular overseas. How about that? Yeah, that's great. We love having new IPs, just like this totally businessman dormant IPs, though. That's the word that gets everybody fucking. You mean all your IPs?

Streets of Rage, Valkyria Chronicles. Jet Set. Jet Set. Space Travel. Okay, remember the Dreamcast? Let's just name it Rockin'. Every All Star. Mr. Bone.

Every Panzer Dragoon. Sonic Spinball. Where the? Panzer Dragoon. Where the fuck is my HD remake of fucking Panzer Dragoon Saga? How the fuck did this never happen? You actually want the answer? I know.

It's on the Xbox One. No. I said Saga, you idiot. That's an RPG. I know there's a PC version of that game that exists. Well, think about this. It was made for game tech and never given out. The reason why you don't have it is the same reason why there's no re-release of Sky's

Arcadia, because it's an RPG and it's hard. Oh, it's hard. It's hard to put that out. Even though it's already made, though. Yeah. Yeah? Okay. That's why you get, that's why there's a million ports.

You know what else is a hard RPG that's long? What? Yeah, because of fucking 5. Imagine this headline, then, if you would. Platinum is free to use Dormit Nintendo IPs. Yeah, I'd love it. Right? What Dormit Nintendo IPs?

Nintendo doesn't have Dormit IPs. They use them over and over. Sure they do. Takamaru's Castle? Clu-Clu Land. Okay, I don't even know what they're talking about. Dormit IPs that people actually come to ask you. Gyromite.

The only Dormit IP they ever had that actually mattered was Kid Icarus. And they fucking made a game from that. Mock Rider is a game that they've used a million times when there's like a new Nintendo or a director or an announcement or the systems coming out. Mock Rider is just, imagine if Nintendo made a new Mock Rider. Imagine if Platinum made it. Actually, Dormit IP, F-Zero. Yeah.

Yeah, what the fuck is going on? I would consider F-Zero the only really Dormit IP because... It set out a generation. Yeah. Yeah. And Star Fox at least had the DS game. And Wonderful 101. Yeah.

I am about six months from calling Punch Out a Dormit IP again. Again? No, no, no, absolutely not. Please bring us more. We loved it. I don't know. I think another one would come out. It was successful.

It sold like over a million copies. And it was great. Coach, that's great. It's so good. Metal Combat. Metal Combat is a Dormit IP. Two games. Battle Clash.

What about Killer Instinct though? I'm still kind of baffled that New Duck Hunt didn't exist on the Wii. Wow. No, but seriously. Yeah, no. I was baffled. We played. We played.

Wasn't there a Duck Hunt game? When we played? It was a target. Instead of Duck Hunt, we got Link's crossbow training. Crossbow training. Which we loved. I don't know. I enjoyed that game.

It could possibly be because they don't want you shooting ducks. I didn't know. I don't think so. You know what I mean? Docks are people too. Could it be something like that? Now, more than ever, I want to shoot ducks. Because Peta already has the game made.

Yeah, totally. Yeah. That's true. Whatever, Mario. They were expecting it too. Yeah. Mario was wearing skinned animals. Oh, that was gross.

Yeah. No, it's alive. Wave Race. 1080. I'd love for those to do that. Yeah, no. To be fair, Wave Race and 1080 is a thing that, like, okay, there was Wave Race. There was Wave Race Bluestorm.

Then there was 1080 Avalanche. Those were engaging things. They messed out on the Wii and DS. But not really an IP per se. No, but sports life. I'd love to have Ryota Hayami back on the track. I have a feeling that... Or Kansuke Kimachi.

Exactly. Rob Haywood. I have a strong... Ricky Winterboard. I have a strong feeling that 1080 and Wave Race wouldn't work now. Like, weren't they just built on, like, Wave Race was like, look, water. No, they were really good. Yeah, but they were really good.

Because they were also totally unique. There would be no real reason for them to exist nowadays. No, definitely. Plus extreme sports games, not... No, they died. They actively killed them. Activision killed them. And again, Metal Combat was a...

We're making this peripheral. We need a game that's not, like, the test game. Hey, how about a... Hey, you would be a really good Dormant IP that I wish they would use? This fucking Metroid. It's not a Dormant IP. Well, there... It's close to that.

There haven't been any good Metroid games since Metroid Prime 3. That's different. Besides Dormant IP. You know what I would get hype for? I'd get hype for Mario Paint. Like... I would not. It's super weird that with first...

Dude, we just got Art Academy. Art Academy, yeah. I know, but Art Academy is a thing. I think you're right. I think it's really weird with the Wii Remote first, and then with the Wii U gamepad, two interface devices that would be perfect for Mario Paint, that there's no Mario Paint.

That's why I'm still back with the new Duck Hunt. Where's that? With the Zapper. That fucking Zapper came out. Okay, like, IR sensor light guns are dog shit, compared to a CRT sensor light gun. But it was called the Zapper. What game do you think of when you think of the Zapper?

Gunsmite. No. Captain N. No, you're not a game, but I think of Duck Hunt. Duck Hunt is what you actually think of. No, I think of Hogan's Alley. That's what I think of.

I play clay shooting more than Duck Hunt. I could shoot that can forever. No, Hogan's Alley's great. That fucking, that clinging noise? No, the best... The only game you should think about when you think of the Zapper is Adventures of Pyroville. Shut up.

Shut up. Please use the controller. Move along. Yeah, move along for Bayou Billy. No. Stay. No, no, we're moving along. Stay awhile.

Stay awhile. We're going into a foreign land. We're going to a foreign land? Where the languages are not always clear to you. That's great. I love that. CD Projekt. CD Projekt has some...

I know a lot about CD Projekt. They have something to say about this generation. What's that? You mean this coming one? I mean the one we're in now? The one we're in right now. Wow, this didn't get less confusing. The one we're on the cusp of.

Yeah, we're on the cusp. CD Projekt doesn't see any major power difference between the PS4 and the Xbox One. The situation is actually a lot more complicated. Yeah. I read that article. They basically said, yeah, they're pretty much the same. The RAM thing on the PS4 is a little weirder, actually. And everyone went crazy because like, what are they talking about?

Clearly, they're PC developers. Compared to the PCs they're developing for, the PS4 and the Xbox One are baby shit. They're at Fisher Price, baby dolls. But comparing the systems, they didn't mention the PC. Yeah, but the only game they're working on is Switcher 3. Yeah. And it's a lead PC and a cyberpunk. Cyberpunk doesn't exist.

Except that they're working... Okay, but the game hasn't been shown, so I don't care and it doesn't exist. So they didn't spend too much money. What they did show is the best thing ever. It was a CG trailer. It was an engine. But there was no gameplay. But they spent all that money on things that will be in the game.

At this point, I don't care if it's not gameplay. But Witcher 3 isn't out, so it doesn't exist. Witcher 3, there's gameplay now. If Witcher doesn't exist, can you just say it's not out? It doesn't exist. If it's in engine, it's like, okay, no, you have to go. This is a product that's happening. The order doesn't even occupy a spot in my brain.

Because there's been no gameplay. Even though there were screens. Except that there was totally shots of gameplay. Shots? You mean like video shots? Who gives a shit? Why? Because it's screenshots of the video game!

A video is just a bunch of screenshots. I let a lot of screenshots in a row. Did they release enough screenshots in a row to make a video? It depends on how many times you loop them. Anyway, the point is the PC is a lot stronger, so of course the other two look similar by comparison. Sure. I think, if anything, though, they were right in that it was overblown in terms of just fanboy reactions to things, but it's always going to be that way.

I think the line... Because spirits run high with her. I think the really important line is the situation is more complicated. Because we're technical wizards and we see stuff that not everyone sees. I don't know. That's always a line that covers your ass. I think so. That's a fair thing to say.

I'm considering they're showing up on Microsoft Stage to demo Witcher 3. They don't want to come out and say, yo, this one slams the other one. All those embarrassing interviews with whoever. The CD Projekt doesn't really strike me as a person that they're like, oh, they kind of don't... All their interviews are, hey, we're making this for gog.com. And if you want to buy it on Steam, that's cool. Oh yeah, there'll be console versions too, I guess. That's basically the line on that so far.

I kind of agree with that it's more complicated than it appears. But when games can't be rendered in 1080 on one of them without huge framerates... I think it's way less complicated than it appears because of what you're talking about right now. There's clearly gaps in performance. Notable gaps. Because the difference between 720 and 1080 is what? Four times or something? Yeah, about four times the rendering.

Again, we have no program. No, for sure. But you understand the ramification. Like, you know, TV works as well, but at the same time, we're not programmers. It doesn't matter. You can still make that observation. You don't need to be a programmer. You can be a good programmer.

You can be a bad programmer. But hold on. We don't need to judge the reasons. All we need to judge is the outcome. Sorry, Liam, is it four times? It's not double? It's four times. It's about four times.

Okay. Because it's double and double. It's double and double. And they get vertical. Right, right, right, right, right. Like, the launch lineups, like, they all run way better on one by like, you know, 10, 15 frames in some cases and at high resolutions. Although I'm sure this will be like 360 and PS3 where over time they really balance.

I'm sure once they start crushing games down to 30 frames a second, many of these performance differences will disappear. Yeah, exactly. Because they're being arbitrarily crushed down to 30. That's why I find the line over complicated is kind of a cover all. Yeah, more importantly, you will start to see magic happen as people get familiar and comfortable with. Well, that happens every game.

Yeah, but that happens with both. So the one that's actually... That happens on the Super Nintendo and the Genesis. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was radical. Shit, come on. Fucking Alpha. Holy shit.

Alpha 2. Alpha 2. So good. I love myself. How did you make it happen? I remember now... You showed me a 3D, an FX chip game that I didn't even know existed the other day. Yeah, that's true.

I thought there were only two. So he thought there was Stun Race effects. And Star Fox. But there's two more. There's Vortex, which is your map that turns it into a... Yes. I know about Vortex. And then the other one was my favorite FX game outside of Star Fox, which is Dirt Tracks

FX, which was just a dirt bike racing game, but it was an FX chip game. And all your characters were named Nails, Blades, like Hog, and they were just... That's cool. Am I the only person in the world that hated the FX chip? You hated Star Fox? I hate Star Fox 1. Star Fox 1 is awesome. It's all right.

I feel like... It runs like shit. I remember being a kid being like, oh, this looks bad. So even when you were a kid, you were a fucking PC snore? Yeah, pretty much. No, I liked it. The graphics were right to be like Lawnmower Man. Not that I'm going to say that Star Fox 64 isn't better in any way.

Terminal Velocity on PC, that looked like Lawnmower Man. Or Descent. Descent. Like, that was the problem, is I was playing Descent at home, and then somebody said, yo, look at Star Fox, and what the fuck is this shit? It's Star Fox is more fun to play than Descent. Are you crazy? Star Fox 64 way better than Descent.

Way better. But Star Fox 1 better than Descent. Descent's awesome. Descent is the baddest way. Oh, this is hard. This is hard. There's two different playing things. I love both of those games so much.

Descent, you can turn in every direction. You can go through the levels upside down, and all the enemies are upside down, and they shoot at you. But no. Yeah, but that's because that is Descent. But boss fights and barrel rolls. You can do barrel rolls. Oh, and the space mission's in first person.

Okay, honestly, the point is. What a dumb conversation. The point is, is, yo, what happened? I haven't thought about Descent in like 10 years. The point of this is, where the hell's the new Star Fox, where the hell's Descent? Yeah. Well, Descent, because Interplay and Interplay died. Yeah, and Gearbox owns the rights to Descent.

I thought they owned the rights to Homeworld. They own the rights to FreeSpace as well. And FreeSpace is Descent. Speaking of... So in conclusion, CD Projekt is working on Descent. Next. Speaking of what he just said with Gearbox, is that there is this thread on Gath today, which is Randy Pitchford yells at people that are yelling about his games.

I'm excited for this. And how about you don't embezzle money from Sega, you cheating asshole? It's amazing. This is especially sad because we liked Randy Pitchford when we saw him. I know! He knew him thing, but now it's kind of like... Now he looks like a thief man. And he looks like an asshole on top of it.

Well, a thief usually implies they're an asshole. Sometimes they have real difference. But he's a dick about it. Yeah. But what does this thing look like? Has it been for the last fucking year? Yeah, but there's a difference. What's the fun?

Where have you been? There's a difference. There's the dick that you're like, ah, that guy, right? It's you! Yeah, it's me. It's like, oh, that crazy guy. He's doing that thing again. And then there's the, hey, he just kicked my dog.

What kind of asshole goes around kicking people's ass? What this was was a fan, or I don't mean a fan. I think it might be someone in the industry, some other artist or whatever. Yeah. Just having a Twitter war with Randy Pitchford saying, man, your DLC is terrible for... The second season. I can say that stuff. Guess what?

It's not great. Shut up. It's awesome. Fuck you. How would you feel if you made this and you were getting... And he's like, no, I bought it. Like, I'm a lot of... It's not great.

Like, I got to make sure people... No, shut up. Did he pee fish it? Not as crazy. No, no. No, it's just crazy. No. Son of a...

It's cancelled. Everyone go home. I fucking quit. Son of a... It's not worth it. The creation of social media has given us weird scenarios in which what used to happen is David Jaffe would go to a Sony event, get drunk, and scream at people at the Playboy mansion, and that was relegated to a footnote in like a magazine, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now... Now we get situations where you're talking shit about Cliff Polzinski and you say, man, I wish you would go away. And he shows up to respond to you and say, no, fuck you. I'm here forever. Okay? Or Randy Bixford and Phil Fish just be dicks on Twitter.

It's weird. There should be a barrier, not for our sake, but for their sake. But when someone says something on this Twitter, all I imagine is a spinning Kotaku front page. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. It's a dick. Yeah. But no, but the Twitter barrier, the Twitter breaking down the walls is not just video games.

It's everything. It's everything. Access to all your celebrities. It is not a personal messaging service, you guys. No. See, how else would we know that Jaden Smith is a complete fucking moron? Is he? Have you not seen his tweets?

You could guess that. You could guess that. You could guess that. I wouldn't because I'm like, Will Smith is awesome. He'd raise a cool kid. But no. Go see his tweets. No, I would be convinced Will Smith would raise a shitty kid.

Like all of his tweets are like with caps on every word. And like the people who started Photoshopping his face into like artwork. I can just imagine Will Smith like sitting around going, oh, parents just don't understand. I understand though. Guys, guys, guys. I understand, right? Guys, how could mirrors be real if our eyes were real? No, shut up.

Just shut up. Shut up. Shut up. My favorite though. They're high on whatever the Scientologists are giving them. I follow 50 Cent and he's the fucking best. Bored Rich. 50 Cent is the greatest thing that ever happened.

He's just sitting around a fireplace and he's just like, he'll take a picture of like burning money. And he'll be like living the high life with the bitches. He is a total victim of his success. I remember I just popped in. It's a trash thing. What's today's 50 Cent is Rich and Bored Update. Grandma won't stop calling me to take out her trash. I'm fucking rich now.

I shouldn't have to do this. But like I'll put pictures up too and I'll be like getting a foot massage, bitches. Athletic picture. Like he's just getting a foot massage with this fucking slumber. You're like, what are you doing? You won. You won. You won.

And you won a while ago. You didn't die trying. You got Rich. And you don't want to be a rapper anymore. That's fine. You got your scull back. Yeah. And just like he did hit that ramp.

Like he's just bored. Moral of the story. Follow 50 Cent on Twitter. If you want to get rich, have a nice smooth gradient. So you pick up new awful habits like drug abuse and prostitutes on the way up. Victory lap is really slow. Yeah, apparently. Well he's got like 50, 60 years to have his victory lap.

Follow 50 Cent on Follow Randy Pitchford. Yeah, perfect. Sounds good. Great advice. That's the best advice we've ever given. This segment is called No Ex-Bone, Don't Kill Mom. No, except there's, so Pat says, So I sent this to you and then immediately was like,

No wait, this isn't what I think it is. It's basically a post on the Microsoft support forums from a mother who is distressed and angry. She is freaking out. Losing her mind because the Wi-Fi. So the Ex-Bone has like an internal Wi-Fi something? Whatever. And basically she's fearing that this is going to mess up her pacemaker. Because it's on the same signal.

Also because in the Ex-Bone manual it says this signal might interfere with Wi-Fi signals coming out of your pacemaker. It's like, you know those things when you load up a game, it's just beware you might go blind for no reason. So she's like, so my sons need their Xbox and I don't want to die or have a change of my pacemaker. What do I do? Please help me, I'm desperate and in trouble. And as always, every time someone posts a topic on the internet that is something along the line of, Hey, I might die. What should I do?

The answer is always, you should, yes, I'm sorry. First it's being a pizza. Second of all, it's, hey, maybe you should talk to your doctor. Because your doctor will tell you that your pacemaker uploads data to the internet and that's what would get. Exactly. You're not going to turn on the Ex-Bone and you just die. Do you really think they made pacemakers to get messed with everything? Exactly.

It's the only thing you can make. There was just random fucking tangent. There was a guy who discovered how to hack pacemakers. Yeah, that's not good. And he was going to give the speech on how this is awful and how we need to fix this and how to do it. And he died on his way to giving the speech. Yeah, that was crazy. So yo, did his pacemaker go out suspiciously?

Yeah, exactly, no. Maybe he shouldn't have toyed around. No, he just died. Maybe fight up the voltage. I'll feel more juice. Don't teach people how to create the water running car engine. Don't teach people how to hack pacemakers. This is also the hidden future problem with the cyborg future that we're all on board with,

is that when the cyborg future happens and your arms, legs, and genitals are all completely robotic, people are going to be able to hack those. Now sometimes you want to emulate like Super Mario Bros on your RoboDong and that's cool. But you may get a computer virus by uploading into a scary place that you probably shouldn't have uploaded into. Now when you said being able to hack the pacemaker, I don't know, maybe it's like my like little Matt Jr. brain, but I think of like, if you hack a pacemaker, you can make the guy do whatever. Like be a robot. No!

Which is stuff. Is that like speed but for pacemaker? It just shoots down little bolts. Oh, I want to control a dude. No! Get me a sandwich! Oh, you have to run it over 60 miles per hour or you're going to miss it. Most people got like brain implants and shit like that.

Then you'll be able to do some crazy shit. I think the pacemaker is so centralized. No, the only thing you can mess with the pacemaker is the dead or not dead part. Right. Pretty much. Do I want it on the alive switch? Probably. That's probably what you're talking about.

One of the cyber brains come into play though. It's going to get a bit more tricky. Yeah. Then the chief's going to save us. Once people start getting cybernetic implants, they're thyroid glands and you just turn a dial to juice up. Hulk up. Yeah.

Stimpax. We need to gain some muscle mass for the frat. Oh, yeah. No, but the thing with the post though is this goes down and then like literally four posts later, a guy comes on and goes, yeah, okay, one, you stupid bitch, your pacemaker doesn't actually do- This is another person. It's not like a Microsoft employee.

Yes, no, a Microsoft rep. Shut up. No, it's- He had four stars. It's clippy. Yeah, it's clippy. He steps in and he goes, one, your pacemaker does not send off signals to keep it going. No, that's-

It sends off signals. Why would they ever make a machine? I'll learn your doctor. Second, if you live in the United States and or North America, you're using a device that's been registered with the IEEE, which is the group that makes sure that any Wi-Fi signals that you can buy for your home devices don't fuck up emergency signals. Most obvious example, they tell you to turn your cell phone off when you go into a hospital. Are they telling you that when you're in the hospital, they got to keep your pacemaker

off so that it doesn't fuck with the equipment? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And I then clicked in just to see where it went in a million posts later. Where did it go? She made another post and I barely could skim through it. It was just yelling and angry and looking for solutions. No, you don't understand. I'm in fear for my life for no reason.

And then right around the time she dropped Obamacare death panels. Yeah! I stopped reading. Wait, what did she say? That's a real question. Obamacare death panels. What does that even mean? Oh, you don't know.

No. Obama made the Xbox, right? And the Xbox watches you with Kinect and that gauges your level of physical fitness so that when you go to the hospital, they say no. Kinect told us to fuck you. Yeah, you're aware. You know how we have Medicare. Are we really going into this?

No, just very quickly. With Medicare, therefore, because we are covered by everybody's covered, then when they have to decide who gets the important surgeries according to priority, you know about the Canadian death panels that we hold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's what it is. It's not so much a death panel. It's more like a death list.

It's like instead of getting into the club, you get a heart transplant. Because it means the death panels, I thought you meant like solar panels. Yeah, I was thinking. No, it's like a committee. No, basically, it's your Fox News headline of we get a room full of people that decides who lives or dies in Canada. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, well, it has to happen. That's how it is up here, as you know. It is. It's savage. There's a reason why we're this nice. So there's a... Here's the beads. My biggest problem with the death panel thing, I just know I'm going to put it one more point.

No, is that we can't have people deciding who lives and who dies by arbitrary and possibly economic gains. So instead, we'll just let the insurance companies have their committees decided. It's like, it's the actual death panel. It's the actual death panel. Okay. Pat just kills over and death. No, right now.

What's happening in video games? Video games. No. That was it. That was it. Yeah. Is this a video game I can't stop? No, really?

It is. Neverland. What? No. Limited company. What? What are you talking about? Is bankrupt.

Never soft? Who? Neverland. How do you like your Rune Factory? They made Rune Factory. What's Rune Factory? How do you like your Lufia? I don't know it.

Well, you know what it is. Did you play the Lufia games? I played Lufia too. They're busted. Lufia? You know that dungeon near the end of the game that's just completely broken? Okay, but I give props to Lufia for being one of the few games back then that had the balls to show you enemies in an RPG.

Totally. I also appreciate the subtitle Rise of the Sinistral. Rise of the Sinistral. That's cool. People like Rune Factory. Anyway, Rune Factory. So they turned it into the Rune Factory Company, which is a game that did them pretty well. In fact, they never stopped making it.

Well, they did them pretty not well, evidently. It did them well enough at first. But it's almost as if you milk a successful idea for long enough, it will come back to become unprofitable. It's kind of depressing because the first two were kind of weak and then the quality went up. And the fourth one's not quite as good as the third, but it's still super good. The best harvest of the game there are.

They actually just have a numerical title, or I thought they were always called Rune Factory, blah, blah, blah. No, there's one, two, three, and four. Tides of Destiny, and there's Frontier on the Wii, I think. And it's really unfortunate. They're shutting down super hard. Yeah. I like the idea of shutting down super hard.

You actually have to nail boards into the totals. And you have to put your logo in the garbage out front. Well, the best part about a bankruptcy is, depending on how structured it is, like THQ, I believe had nobody around to make sure nobody stole anything. I believe they just said, it's closed, come in and get your stuff, but there was no security watching people. So if you wanted to just take your whole desk and manage to sneak it out. Or if there was some sort of statue of death.

Yeah, I'd say Ubisoft stole some things. And then threw them in the trash. Where they can't work on the shit they want to do. Oh, porpotries. Yeah, so that's a shame, whatever, moving along. This company I don't remember and never heard of went bankrupt. They were good though. Okay.

I just assumed you meant Neversoft, which should have been radical. Isn't Neversoft dead? No. Do we really talk about them? Don't they make Call of Duty maps now? Yeah, they make Call of Duty maps now. Wow, they live a bad existence. Do they still have the eyeball with the thing going through it?

I assume so. Yeah, but they don't get to put that on anything. It's just Call of Duty. That's one of those little tertiary logos in the credits kind of things. Raven had to make a bunch of map packs too. And Sledgehammer has been making nothing. Sledgehammer came on and the whole thing was, they're going to make a new Call of Duty thing that's different.

And then because of all the Infinity Ward shenanigans, they kept getting pulled in as like support on the Infinity Ward team that is like less than half the size it used to be. And so Glenn Schofield has been now making Call of Duty now. There's a way to shrivel someone's pride. A lot of companies pride when you're just the mach guys. No words only Call of Duty now. Neversoft is the reason Activision is big.

And look at what they did to them. They were a big huge factor. It's true. Yeah. Poor Neversoft. Tony Hawk. I run Tony Hawk into the ground. I bet everyone who's involved in the creation of Tony Hawk

is fucking long gone for that company. They lost it. When it got to like Project A4, they lost it. Was Ride actually from any of the same people? No. It was from Robo Mondo. Possibly from another company called Robo Mondo that was set up explicitly to do motion control.

Yeah. Because at that point Neversoft was making Guitar Hero sequels. Right. And then Robo Mondo made the amazing Tony Hawk HD port that we all loved. The classic. Neversoft has this weird place where they used to be the A team and then they became the B team when there was no A team.

Yeah. Yeah. Like they became the B team on Guitar Hero but they were the only ones making it. Yeah. There's only as B teams left at this point. Well after Harmonix was because there ever have been an A team. Treyarch stepped up.

I was going to say like I guess Blizzard and like Treyarch would be better. And Treyarch and Blizzard's now CT. Oh shit. Do you think the whole Harmonix leaves can be filled? Harmonix did they come up with that awful Disney dancing game in every Fantasia? Yeah.

No it's coming out. Oh it still hasn't come out? This is the strong 360 support. Yeah. It's still a 360 game. I think it's on both. For Connect 1. No but I think it's on both.

I don't remember. Aren't you excited? Yeah. Yeah. I fucking hate Microsoft saying we're still supporting the 360 strong. You know what man I'm just happy they're not dead. Like Harmonix has a music company. You mean the company or the people?

The company. Okay yeah. They might as well be and I'd be surprised if they aren't in another year. They literally cannot scream in the position where they have no mouths. Oh god. Fuck. Have you seen this ridiculous game Be A Man Samurai? Yes.

Japan this is what it's called being a man. I'm downloading this day one and we're going to play this. So this is a PS3 game and it looks badass as fuck. It does. That was shit. Yeah. No the screens are just like really angry. Like Hokuto no Ken.

Hokuto no Ken slash Vagabond style aggression going on. Testosterone oozing out of the JPEGs. Is this like a weird game like Kankabancho Badass Rumble? No. That's different. Yeah no this is a pseudo rhythm game. It's like a mini game rhythm game kind of thing. I'm not quite 100% sure.

But they're just giving you prologue and stories about the characters. The main character is this fucker. That he's so badass on his first day. This is a movie. I just want to look this up. This is a movie adaptation. That's being turned into a PS3 game. What's going on in the games business?

I love to mine it. Whatever main character on his first day of high school he went and farted in his teacher's face just because he could. Damn. And his punishment was to hole up the 200kg ceiling for the rest of the year. What? By himself. Does he get to leave?

Does he get to leave? And he did it. Oh shit. He did it. Oh damn. Yeah. Oh fuck. This is how you be a man.

Damn. Man I'm not doing so well at Kramari High. You basically. No this looks ridiculously over the top pipe and visually really cool. Yeah it looks great. I don't know what it is but I'm super down to it. We're going to play it. We're going to play it.

Oh you sent him to me. I just found a movie when I tried to google it. I'm getting vibes of muscle march silliness. No no no. Yeah. Okay this is a good thing for you. Don't worry. It looks a bit like muscle march if it was more like the brush strokes of Jojo all over

the place. Yeah. So like it has this funny awesome great brush strokes. Describe what are they wearing? Well the main guys. A lot of them wear no shirts. He's wearing nothing but the long down. You know like the Kodo Dramas type of thing?

He's wearing just that. Like just the brief thing. Yeah yeah. We're not really a pro on Japanese clothing but this is probably what they wear all the time. And he does his signature move when he's fighting guys. He does the big fart. And everyone's like yo that guy's farts are powerful.

Japanese game industry is saved. It's great. I posted it not too long ago. It's the same thing because we're talking about Japan. I love Japan so much. What do you put in your mall? Oh yeah. Do you put in a giant Christmas tree?

No. You put in a Christmas tree shaped like Godzilla that shoots smoke out of its mouth. Yeah. And he's angry because everyone forgot. Either that. I got a new movie coming out. Either that or Santa Gundam. Yeah.

Making Godzilla out of a fir tree is way more like making another Gundam statue. I love that those aren't fucking awesome. Yeah. But there's so many now. There's like two. No. There's really just one. There's no one.

And then there's the head. There's the head. That's it. There's the one. But I've seen other like you know smaller statues that people put up in like what kind of. But they're smaller. No.

If it's not life-sized then get out of my face. Yeah. No. Fucking like and every time they try to pull it down like people go not everyone rallies. It's like a green piece but they're not terrorists. It's like the reverse of the Robocop statue. They're just trying to get it up and no one will let them. Dude's are chaining themselves to this thing.

OCP trying to keep Robocop down. Yeah. Yo. Whoever owns Robocop. The movie studio. Paul Verhoeven I hope. No. The movie studio.

I think it's Universal. They should bail out Detroit in the most elaborate ad campaign ever. And have Universal Studios own Detroit. Just for Robocop land. They should bail out the Detroit PD under the condition that everyone has to dress up like Robocop. That would be so cool. Dude's.

Can we make this happen? If anyone's on the line and you work it. Well. Detroit. Detroit. Please contact. Who are they contacting? Please stop.

Eminem. Eminem. Eminem. The meat company. To get in touch with the Detroit PD you'll have to stop them as they're robbing people. Yeah. Whatever it takes to get Detroit to be Robocop. Do you remember the headline?

Yeah. All that one. Fake cops robbing people in Detroit turned out to be real cops robbing people in Detroit. I love that one. They were using the cops as a smoke screen. Like look we're fake cops. It's such a good trick. But they were real cops.

Robbing people at good point. I feel like these cops just watched Inception like the previous night. They were like let's try that. Cops within cops with fake cops. But like also the writer of that headline. Like super. Romance. Super happy with himself.

Because like every word made you more incredulous. Yeah. He probably patted himself on the back super hard. When do you ever get a story like that? You can't write that. You can't write stuff. It feels like a crack or onion article. Totally.

Absolutely. Yeah. All the way. The witness. The witness. Good ol' J blow. Yeah. Jonathan blow tweeted.

I think he tweeted a picture of the screenshot of the witness. And it was like two of it. Two screenshots side by side. And one said VR one and the other one said VR two. And he just tweeted what does this mean? Oh shit. It's on the Oculus. Probably means it's got Oculus Rift support.

Yeah. That's probably what that means. And Sony's been teasing that forever and the rumors. Well that's what I'm saying. If you put two and two together with three. You get three. No you get four. You get ten.

You get four. Yeah. Exactly. You guys are smart. Obama's the Antichrist. Wow. Obama death panels. Yes.

What are those even? If we're going to be playing the witness on the PS4. Yeah. And the witness is going to have Oculus Rift. It will not have Oculus Rift. It will have a Sony rip off. Someone just said. Someone said like I doubt the Oculus Rift is coming to consoles ever.

No. You think Morpheus is an Oculus Rift rip off? Yes. Yeah. Do you remember Sony's TMZ10IS or whatever it was called? The visor that was just like. It makes you look like a douchey cyclops. It makes you look like a douchey cyclops.

And it also apparently replicates the feel of a movie theater. The feel of a movie theater. In terms of the screen. All the sticky floor. Yeah. And losing my money. They've done these visor things. Uncomfortable armrests.

Yeah. But they've done these visor things. It's just like how with the PS4 they packaged it in a headset. And it's just half of one of their headphone pairs. This is the same deal. Where it's just like they're already in the market. So they can just do it. Yeah.

They'll retrofit some bullshit 3D glasses thing. They already have it in a lab somewhere. Hey Oculus Rift we can do that right? Yeah. It won't be as good. But it will cost $80. The one that I always laugh about is Microsoft. They're establishing all these TV people to make TV TV TV.

Yeah. And Sony's just like hey we we own Sony. Let's do it. And they're just doing it already. Why wouldn't you go Oculus Rift? Because Oculus Rift is like this complete indie thing run by individuals. And they don't want it. One of which is John Carmack who was totally nuts.

Yeah. Sure. But it's the thing that has the most to use the word brown swell. Let me put it to you this way. You know every time you've ever asked the question why doesn't Capcom just use fucking GGPO? They do. And the answer is always no we want to use our own thing so that we can own it. Yeah.

That's why. I think another reason is. Or why don't we use these translations that this one guy made that said here is my mother 3 translation. For free. You can use it. Yeah. It's tax.

The taxes. The taxes. The finger thing. I was going to say well Nintendo is the one. The mother 3 thing means taxes. The Nintendo's thing though. The Nintendo's tree house translation group like. They're too good for that.

They're too good for that. That's the one thing is that that internal that article that one article Kotaku wrote. Yeah. Where they're like oh shit we don't know how we made this article this good. But it is. It talks about the internal translation team and like yeah you can't hand them something. They comb over every word. But every other situation like this.

Oculus Rift is the one thing people are talking about. Sony doesn't. What do they talk about. Well what's the other thing people are frothing at the mouth about and talking about is the PS4. Sony takes something and brands it with a PS4 stamp. They're going to sell. Yeah sales of these new consoles not named Wii U have been pretty solid worldwide so far.

I think Sony stands to make a lot more money doing it themselves and getting 100% of the profit than splitting. Like in the long run than getting. Yeah but then this is going to be like another connect where they sell a bit and it's like no one supports it. Yeah totally. That's exactly what it's going to be. Maybe not.

More like the move. More like the PlayStation 4 camera. Which is selling out. But yeah so people can show people their dicks on the internet. Yeah. Anything you can use to show people your dick on the internet sells really good. If you can't show your dick on Uno then why bother. Why bother.

Yeah but it was the originator. So what's the new game. No nothing. There's nothing. Virtual reality don'ts. Yeah. I was going to say there's like all the individuals that are behind Oculus Rift. I feel like if anything they're like choosing very carefully what like should we make an

entire console out of this. Should we support this because we're on this thing that could be the biggest thing ever or not. We've got to carefully just like they're not just going to go hey Sony PS4 call it a day. I think they're just going to like PC and just being as careful as they can and I think they should be more aggressive than they're being right now. Because it's been how long since we've known about the Oculus Rift and so we still don't know if it's even a thing really.

It is. It's a product you can buy. It's a thing. People have them. They're around. They're not. You don't buy them. No there's a retail version coming that will be a 1080p instead of 720.

We just don't know what's going to support. There's problems with the Oculus Rift. It needs to be able to do I think 120 frames a second at 1080p. You need a decent machine for that. It needs to be able to do that to work which is a little bit of a problem with games. So on consoles I can't see the Oculus Rift under those circumstances. So Sony's got to make their own thing for it. They'll do a bad one and it'll be like eh.

It'll be a bad one. It'll be a bad one. It'll be fine. It'll be a bad one. It'll be a bad one. No but like the Kinect just doesn't work because it doesn't work because it's what it is. It's going to cost you $60 or $70. It's going to be a bad one.

But it's not going to cost you $60 or $70. It's two fucking LCD screens in front of your eyes. They'll just charge you $60 or $70. Yeah. Well it's going to cost decent money. No it'll cost $60 and it'll be a bad one. I think it'll be fine. No.

Or it could be bad. The whole point of the Oculus Rift is that there is no fine when you're dealing with 3D with two tiny screens like an inch from your eyeballs. It either looks terrible and has people migraines. Have you used one? I have not. I have used a 720p one. Oh!

Mr. Big Fancy New Virtual Boy. I've used one too. It works quite well. Did you vomit everywhere? I did not. Wow that's impressive. I know. I held it in.

Yeah. You held it in? Yeah. Did you have to hold it in? I tasted it. Oh that's not good. You're not going to have fun with that. Came up.

Yeah. Mirror's Edge 2 exclusive to Oculus Rift. I am ready. I will vomit smiling. Mirror's Edge 2 features copious amounts of gay. It comes with an Oculus Rift and a big orange bucket. Mirror's Edge 2 features copious amounts of spider clipping. Like you've never seen such happy like vomiting.

This is the greatest day of my life. And all your jokes like do it like a happy face. Well he just takes off the things and his room is just a puddle of filth. Then you wake up and EA cancels Mirror's Edge 2. Yeah. And then EA somehow also cancels Beyond Good and Evil 2. My osmosis. Yeah.

They inspired Ubisoft to cancel it. They gave Ubisoft the strength to cancel it. You know I really think we could not cancel it. When we saw EA rile everyone up with Mirror's Edge 2 and then have the balls to cancel it we were like we want to get in on that action. Capcom have inspired everyone to do this. Yes they should. Yes they should.

A bold move. A bold move. In this new era. Surely a visionary company. Yay. Yay games. Cancel everything. Who is that going to be coming back in the Walking Dead season 2?

It's Omid. There's a screenshot of Omid. Oh. Shit. Did you see the one with the cat? You looked at the headline three days ago and then you did not follow up on it. I was hoping for a discussion where you all went I'm not going to look at the spoilers No the two people on the horizon at the end of the Walking Dead are Omid and Chris.

Well when I saw this headline and I hadn't clicked on the headline yet they had a thumbnail of Omid. Oh shit. That was the same for me. Did you see it on Joystick? Yeah. Where they show up the cat's head on it. Yeah.

Unavoidable. Damn it. Fuck. Like I was just reading a topic and scrolled down and was blasted with a photo of Omid out nowhere. So why don't you bring out the headline here then? Who's the two person? We know.

What's the real headline here? Well the headline was that returning character. No. The Walking Dead Season 2 Episode 1 comes out in December. That's what I'm sure. That's the real headline. That's what really matters. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. A little later than we thought. I think this is earlier than I thought. I wasn't expecting it till after the Wolf Among Us. I thought they said November. No. But they said when Wolf Among Us came out that they wanted to do one month of each.

Yeah. So Wolf Among Us came out in October. Well, they'll be late by about three weeks on each. That's why I just said that they failed because someone gave a list. Imagine if the list was this. Like Wolf Among Us Episode 1 and it went on till July having one of these games. Yeah. No.

It'll be next. It's not going to be that. It'll be 2015 before we see the end of The Walking Dead Season 2. But I don't know. Before October, before any of this talk, I was like that is a 2014 game. Like for sure. And don't get me wrong. The majority of the game will take place in 2014.

And possibly 2015. And it wouldn't mind if they cancelled both and just work on the Game of Thrones game. But I didn't think the first episode was coming this year. That upsets me but not as much as it should. So they need time to write that. What do you guys want to see in The Walking Dead Season 2? I just want Kenny back. I want you to die.

I want Kenny to become the... The villain. The bold master of it. Yeah. Like he will beat you. No, Kenny's on a giant body. He has two other chain boat teams. I'm going to like pit boats.

I'm going to call it right now. The chains are made of boats. The characters from 400 Days, the ones that do leave are going to end up going to Woodbury. And then... Oh, they're coming back for you. They're going to go to Woodbury. And then you will go to Woodbury before Rick and those guys go to Woodbury. While everything is going down there.

And then you will see what's her name bitch, Lily. Yeah, Lily. And she'll be a bitch there. And it will get even more confusing. And then... That will be confusing. Then you'll leave right before it goes to shit. And then four and five will be totally different and like wandering around.

And then the end, you'll see the prison on the distance. You're like, what's that? Oh, it's a prison. Who cares? Aw. Is Clem going to be badass? Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think so. If you choose for her to be badass. I don't think she'll be badass. I think she will. I think she will have badass choices. Yeah. But you'll probably have someone else that she's got to show the ropes. Yeah.

Like a baby. Let her pass the net. No. Yeah. Like a baby. I just put a gun in a baby's hand. I think she'll be more capable of it. I don't think she'll just transition.

Okay. Now she's badass. Like Banjo-Kazooie. Like baby in a backpack with a giant fucking gun. She won't be badass, but she will have agency of her own. Like in episode three, in episode four... Well, we played it on the channel. Just to establish that.

No. This is broad. In episode four and five of The Walking Dead season one, you saw Clementine gain more internal agency of herself. Like at the very end of three, she's doing things on her own. She's not being prompted by you to do things. In four, she's doing things completely on her own. She's... I remember when everyone's arguing about and she'd done something.

They went under like a door, a dog door and got a thing. Like here, I did it. Yeah. But she'll load your safe file. Yeah. Those were always rock solid. So season two will take it from the natural essence of that character of what happened. She will now have an independence.

She will have like... When Omi and Krista and whoever is going to join the gang are talking, like... The gang. Clem will have a vote or a voice to the group. For sure. The gang is after driving the fucking mystery machine. Or that may be the first struggle for them. Or maybe about the fact that she's the most capable and no one listens to her.

Like who the fuck knows. It'll be great. It'll be great. It'll be great. It's gonna be great. We'll remember that. I just want Lee back because he was my favorite. That's not...

What? You get in my face for spoilers? And each of you... That shit you shit! You know that Kenny is the character that doesn't have an on-screen death? Sorry. Oh my god. Oh my god.

I'm so sorry. I've been saying Lee. I met Kenny the whole time. You said Kenny earlier. You said Kenny earlier. I said Kenny earlier. Oh good. You thank god.

You just said Lee though. I know I just said Lee. I said Lee before. This is confusing. No. Kenny is the one I want back. These are now unspoilers. No.

Kenny is the one I want back. You're a spoiler. I'm a spoiler. We're all spoilers. I knew I was getting unsoiled. Oh. Definitely. Just pull it back in.

Just pull it back in. Kenny was my favorite. And I want him back. Well he's totally gonna be back. He was specifically denied a death on screen. Yeah. Anyone who... You told me he was dead, boy.

You firmly disagreed. I said... I said... I said... I said... That... There's no way he's coming back. That looks really fuckin...

Here's what happened, right? So they... You know, they did all the metrics for, you know, who made what choices and what happened. And everyone hates Kenny. And what they found out is that over the... Like, you know, they'd have you make a decision and sometimes it would be like 80-20. And they'd be like, well clearly we didn't write that decision as ambiguous enough. Right.

Because most people easily saw this as the right answer. But through the core of the series, the overwhelming theme was that even if you sided with Kenny, they had to turn him against you some way. And the people who already were against Kenny hated him more by the end of the year. So... There's no... No one came out of Walking Dead going, man, that Kenny. Except Liam.

What a cool guy. Except for me. Except for you? Because Liam... Because he's awesome. What? Exactly. What?

Well, I thought you were joking. Fuckin' Liam. I love Kenny. Of course he's the biggest dick antagonist ever. He's the worst. Why? Because he's such a dick. Because no matter how much you help him, he's always against you.

And you will always betray you. He's with his family. And he will always... No, no, fuck him. And he will think twice about helping you if he can run away. No, because he's with his family. You protect his family more than he does. He's not against you.

He cares about his family. But you protect his family more than he does. Yeah, but then when the shoe is turned and you go, oh, my family goes fuck you and your family. My family, my family. Because his family just fucking died. Well, fuck you! Take care of them better than they did. Didn't you think that was the most tragic scene in the attic?

No! No, not when it's duck. That was the scene with duck and the scene in the attic, where the most tragic scene. I remember having a conversation with Liam, actually. Because I remember asking you like... By the way, if you didn't watch our playthrough of Walking Dead episode 1 to 5 and also didn't play it, it's too late now. Yeah, you're in it now, boys.

It's too late. I remember having the conversation with Liam going like, so what is it like when Doug is around? Like, how far does that go? Till episode 3. Does it? Yeah. And his is way more tragic than Carly's. What are those lines of dialogue?

What is that like? Hey, I made a laser. Oh, I didn't take Doug. Yeah. You took Doug. No one took Doug. You were telling me what the differences were. Yeah, because I read them.

Yeah, me and Liam looked them up. Doug's actually like, was written better than Carly, which is the greatest failure of that game. What happened? Doug, instead of being shot out of nowhere, actually steps in front of the bullet. That's too tragic. It's so much more tragic. Oh, Doug, no! Carly was hot and she had a gun, so everyone picked Carly.

Yeah. Also, she could be the new mother of the human race. Yeah. So... Get them guns, shooting news, toting Milado's out there. Hey, now you're talking my language. We had that awkward scene where it was just like, Lee is now kind of Mackinon Carly, and it kind of just goes nowhere. They had a scene in there that I would really appreciate it, which was, well, we're the only two hot people around in the world.

Yep. Yep. Whatever, Ben's there. Yep. I'm going to take Claire Clemptiles to see you later. Oh, she's dead. Like, that's what happened. Yeah.

Yo, fighting games. There's no spoilers here now. Nope. If you were listening for spoilers, now it's okay to listen again. If you chose to conti- If you just put your hands on yours and were like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So they were doing that for a while. Yeah.

And when, when, when Daisuke Ishitori decides that he can show you a silhouette? That's correct. It's because he's really confident that you're not figuring out what the fuck he's doing. And why is that? Because it's a new character. Bedman? Bedman. Is a man in a bed, and the bed is upright and it will fight you.

It's amazing. Now, now, I really think that there is a line. And that character. Go on. Tell us where the line is. That character. The line is Abba. Have you not seen Abba?

I have seen Abba, but Abba is still always kind of late. No, see, that's the thing. Abba is the line. This is over. Have you seen? Have you seen? Don't say Leopoldon. Leopoldon.

Have you not? Leopoldon sucks. Bedman is. Guilty Gear Isuka. Bedman is a character where it's like, I will not pick this character because it's too stupid. That's fine. Just pretend. What?

What? He's albino. Whoa. That's white as can be. What are you talking about? Liam didn't intend for anyone to acknowledge that statement. So just keep going. Oh.

Potemkin. He's in it. Yeah. He's probably dead. He's got a helmet on. He looks dead. Hey, they renamed Eddie to Zatowan again. That's weird.

What's going on? That's disrespectful. No, it's disrespectful according to their own internal logic that I didn't necessarily agree with. Okay. Zatowan's voice actor dies. Therefore, we kill off the character theoretically, but bring him back as Eddie. And Eddie gets the new voice because it's the demon.

And now it's Zatowan again. Which is a terrible name. So we've stopped respecting the dead voice actor. It's probably. We decided we respected him enough. The statute of limitations. They probably wanted to do something weird with the story and Zatowan's probably alive again.

And maybe that's... They're animating the voice actor's corpse in the studio. To spin. A lot of dead characters in the New Guilty Gear, but Potemkin died in one of the endings. And when you take his... In one of the shots with his helmet off, you see he looks kind of dead. That's the world of gears, man. Yeah.

Shit doesn't work. Yeah? Shit doesn't make sense. It's looking increasingly likely that Testament and Bridget and Johnny and all of those characters that we want are not going to be in the game. Oh, you're going to get sinned so hard. You're going to get sinned with like the fucking crotch cleavage. No way.

Like the lowest cut. No, it's not going to be sinned. Like pet skirt. If they're showing us Bedman now, I bet the last character. I can't even handle a name. Say it again. Bedman. I've been saying Bedman just for my own sake.

No, but it's clearly Bedman. He's a man on a bed. He belongs in the fucking like Joe Aniki fighting game. If we're seeing a new character now, then I bet if there's any more new characters, I mean if there's any more characters, then it's going to be new ones. Like the boss. The boss is probably next. And it'll be a boss like Eno used to be, right?

Where there's the regular character and there's the boss version of that character. Yeah. He's probably hiding. Maybe that man will finally be playable. What if Bedman is the boss? What if Bedman is that man? No, he can't be that. That Bedman.

No, we've already seen enough of that man outside of that character. Yeah, he looks cool. He looks fucking cool. His stage is a giant bed. Man. I hope so. No. Rooting Guilty Gear after the war.

That being said, Bedman with all aim design, still better than every BlazBlue character. Yes. Except for Hazama because he's Michael Jackson. I mean Hakumen is pretty cool. Hakumen is amazing. Damn it. Damn it. Shoot your hole.

Fine. Hakumen's really good. Hakumen doesn't even fit with the BlazBlue art style. He really does it. It's so weird. You know why? Why? Because he's from the future.

Well, that's a good reason to have good designs. Oh, you didn't know that? No. Okay, yeah. He's just Jin. You know what? They should have made all the characters from the future. What do you mean they should have made a different game?

They should have made Guilty Gear Xard. Actually, I'll say I usually hate these kinds of designs, but New 13 I thought was kind of cool. I thought she's alright. You mean Lambda? No, not Lambda. No, New 13. New 13.

Oh, the original? The original. Yeah. She's just called New 13. Well, sure. Because she's not a new version of 13. No, but New 13. God damn it.

J-Whoop. Fucking BlazBlue's so shit. It's not the best. After New 13. Thanks, she's got me song though. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Pretty good. After New 13, they're going to bring back Classic 13.

And then they'll have 13 returns. Yeah. Oh. You'd be soft, it's going to get all that 13 money. Minor Skullgirls update. What? Oh, this is a good one too. Big Band has parries.

What? They threw parries in and only Big Band could do that. Yes, because. Because why the fuck not? Skull, man, more like it. And Mike Z announced it by linking to an old ass third strike parry compilation video. It was super high. I wish I didn't hit Skullgirls.

Yeah, you know, Big Band, they have actual things around. If you parry a move that has chip, it takes half the chip. Who are the other characters that got in? It was Big Band. Beowulf. Beowulf got in. Beowulf got in. Elza.

And Eliza. Eliza. Okay, those were the two obvious best characters, not named Panzerfaust. Other than Minette. Sure. We're getting Panzerfaust anyway. Are you serious? No, but we're getting Panzerfaust.

Once Beowulf's in, I'll give Skullgirls another shot. There you go. Big Band's really cool, though. Yeah, but Beowulf is just Kanji. He's not, though. He's got a chair. But they specifically said he will not play the chair like Kanji. Well, the woods that he can play like.

He's going to set the chair up and you will do moves on. Oh, then I don't care about Skullgirls anymore. You don't care about an interesting mechanic? You can put the character on the chair and do moves off of it. I thought he was going to be a grappler, though. Well, he's going to be a semi-grappler, for sure. Well, no, I want a grappler. But the chair is an accessory that he fights with.

Or maybe you could try instead of just dismissing it for no reason. I could. I could do that. That might... The dangerous strategy. But I already dismissed it for a reason. You might work, but I don't know. I don't know.

Dismissing it based on complete ignorance is kind of like a goal, though. Hold on, though. I did play Skullgirls. And said, I don't like this. So that's all reason. Now the current argument is whether or not to go give it another chance. No, just play it. No, I have to buy it to do that.

We all have it. Okay. You can just come over and play. It's a fighting game. I'll do that. We're in it. We're fucking there. Literally in things for the support.

Well, it doesn't matter if he supports it now. We're in it. I know. I can't take you out. But you would if you could. No, no. Next Indiegogo. Pay $5,000.

Remove any background characteristics. What did I say? It was the last part. As I said, a company is like, if you pay us, we'll patch things out. Yeah. Pat wants to kick-stop us out of Skullgirls. I pay twice as much. You guys are out of here.

All right. So, hmm. Hmm. Hmm. You sound quizzical. Killer Instinct. Killer Instinct. The online mode.

The... The online play. Do you mean just online? The general online play? Netcode. Yeah, what about it? Problems have arisen. Shocking.

Have you noticed how high Matt's win-loss rate is? No. There isn't. There isn't. It's actually written. Burns, burns, burns. What's the problem? What's your online?

Little wringer flyer. Nothing because I haven't bought it yet. What's the problem? So the problem is this guy fought DSP. And he saw that he uploaded his footage. And he was like, can I look at this on DSP? Right. And...

I think I've seen this video. Yeah, which he did. And then people started commenting on him and go, why are you so full of shit? I can't believe you edited your footage. You piece of garbage flyer. That's fake. What is wrong with you? Why would you go through the fake, the bother of faking this?

He's like, what? Goes over to DSP's page, watches the footage of the same fight, and notices desync moments. Ah, shit. Of course. And then the continuation of the fight where their inputs are both then re-synced, but the state of the fight has completely changed on both games. That's a serious goddamn problem. Yeah.

On this guy's game, he won the fight. And on DSP's game, DSP won the fight. And I bet it was recorded in there when lost as both victory. They both won. Why would anyone believe DSP's video is the real one? It's the question. This is true. So this guy goes and digs the footage up, cuts it, and starts them at the exact same

moment, and you can watch them side by side. You can see the tiny little stutter, and then the exact moment. Oh, wow. There's no stutter. It's soaky smooth. That is a serious goddamn problem. That is a glaring problem, because now everybody wins. Why?

Because we don't roll back. You're playing. No, you're playing. No, you don't. Yeah. The problem is that. The problem is you're supposed to roll back, and they're not. But they announced they had a press release saying they use a GGPO.

Well, it's not happening. The rollback part of GGPO, which is the part that matters and makes it good, is apparently not working. Because when you roll back, the rollback is what double checks the consistency of both games. Yeah, it's almost like a CRC check. And then it goes good. Integrity is great.

Continue. Oh, right. Now, what you have is a dropped packet that equals the fucking night and day in fighting games. Well, no shit you win if you're playing against somebody who's inputting air moves when they're on the ground. So you're watching or whatever. So you watch the desync moment, which happens early on, and then when it comes back, they're

in round two, and they're both on their respective first life bars. The other guy is on their second. Oh, my god. So you're watching one guy doing a combo to the other guy, but on the other guy's screen, the guy's just at the back of the screen, whiffing normals, like he's just doing stuff. Wow. And you're like, how did that make it in? Right?

Thanks, Double Helix. So I don't know what that is. Homecoming. But I'm thinking. I think the rollback should be fighting games that launches are not perfect. I'm thinking you get that patch in round two. You need it in there. Because you can't have.

You need it. You can't have games go asynchronous and have both people win. It would be better for the game to just drop. Yeah. For it to just go, brrrrr. Well, because you're in action law. Well, your stats don't mean anything, basically. And I was going to congratulate Max on his 117 win streak, but now everything is tainted.

No, really, because he probably legit won all those games. Yeah, he kind of beat Justin Wong at the game. Yeah, the only person that could beat him was Filthy, of course. And he can't. Oh. There's a bunch of videos and Max just destroyed it. And Max is really humble because he puts the video up and he's like, yes, here's some footage of, you know, me.

Usually we go 50-50, the entire match is just a blowout. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And Filthy's using Jago. Jago versus, I think it was Glacius or whatever. Yeah, Glacius. But yeah, no. It's not fair, man. Max has got that dog, Benny, giving him power.

There you go. No, but man, the game is a fucking blast and it's great, but holy shit. But for now, play local, I guess. Well, you know. Or don't care about your multiplayer or something. No, no, no, because I've played sets that were fine. But are you sure? You think they were fine, but you won them.

I've had rage critters at the last second, so you must have been losing. But I mean, even the ones you think were fine. But now you'll never know. Every time you see somebody doing like a footsie game that's not really all that good, you're going to be wondering, are they comboing me in their game right now? It happened once. I noticed a distinct time when a guy was standing there throwing normals out, and I was like, I'm just going to beat you down now.

And that was it. Who was he playing? Jago. Okay, well then he was a scrub. Yeah, well, yeah. Right. But no, but I think, and that one fight was a two-bar fight or whatever. So it's like, if you're with someone with a good connection, you're going to be totally good.

But every once in a while, when you're against someone with a shitty connection, you might be put into this situation. Hey, I don't know if I ever talked about it on the podcast, but since it's on sale right now, I should mention, King of Fighters 13 on PC is on Steam sale right now, whatever. It's like 15 bucks. The netcode in that is good. Does that version work?

Yes. Okay, because I was worried it was the one that didn't work. No, that version works, and the netcode is good. Have you convinced anyone else to play it with you? Yes, tons. Okay. Who? The dudes on the internet.

Name one. I don't know why you're their real name. No, I'm Bob. I convinced Bob. Okay. That's your alt account. I know that. I will say this much.

When you do, like, desync from someone in a KI game, like, if a game is getting stubborn and laggy and you're getting no input, it's the most frustrating thing in the world in a fighting game. Of course. In this, you actually have peace of mind until afterwards. Once you know it happens. Once you know what happens, and you really have more of an, ah, instead of a fucking rage anger induced thing.

Here's the thing, though. I don't understand how this can happen if it's using the infinite power of the cloud. Yeah. It is dedicated service. I'm also wondering that. Isn't this the entire, the exact situation that the infinite power of the cloud is supposed to fix? Yeah.

If you're using your Xbox Live account through a dial-up phone. You can't. You can't. Minimum 198kb. No, you can't. You don't. You're not allowed. Okay.

Well, whatever shitty, like, Comcasts, subscribe. No. Woolly. Woolly. I don't think you're listening to me. The infinite power of the cloud. Okay. All right.

It'll give Forza a better framerate. Well, if some guy decides that he wants to download every torrent of whatever. No, no, no, no, no, no. Woolly. Woolly. While he's putting his infinite power of the cloud. It's like 60 Xboxes. Fuck you.

I know who the fifth character is. Who's the fifth character? Is it Gotetsu? No. It's totally Gotetsu. We all know who it is now. Who is it? Ultra Street Fighter 4.

The fifth character is pretty likely not 100% confirmed, but it's pretty confirmed. Yeah, pretty much. It's Retsu. No, Retsu's been in a fighting game before. Exactly. No, but the- But now there's artwork. The reason why is that there's a giant piece of-

Yeah, no, that's the artwork I'm talking about. It's probably Gotetsu. No. That's probably not Retsu. It's probably Gotetsu. But it looks exactly like Retsu. No, but that's a bald man with Retsu's eyebrows. It's Retsu.

It's literally Retsu. Then they lied to us? No. No, they just gave bad information. Don't believe his lies. The specific wording was this character has never been in a fighting game before. Yeah, it was in Street Fighter 1. They said-

It wasn't in a fighting game at all. Maybe they meant they said playable. They didn't say playable, but they might have meant it, right? Because here's the thing, there's a lot of cross communication that fell apart when we were trying to get those points together. If you remember. Okay, so who was this character? Was it the Sony PS4? So regardless of what was said or not, it is undoubtedly Retsu in the art.

Oh, that sucks. Whether or not this art is the final thing, which it probably is, because else why would you redraw Retsu? Do we really need another old Japanese guy? Now to me, that to me did have enough of him. Now that people are actually playing games. Here's my stance on it. He's been there all along. He's been playable. He's the first guy you fight in the first game.

He's one of the only people to never come back. He's in the artwork for Dan in Alpha 2. Yeah. He's fucking been in the shadows the whole time. He's in the comics. Why not? Why not bring Geki back instead? Yeah.

Because he was a boring ninja. Yeah? Oh, but he's like- He's a boring old man! What's the point? I'd rather have a boring ninja than a boring old boy. But we already have Vega and Ibuki. We already have Gen!

I am sick of people just starting to use him. Here's what I'm hoping for. If he's a shodo, I will shit my pants. Well, and not leave. I hope he's a clone of Rainbow Ryu. So I'm hoping that- If that dude throws a fireball, then it sucks. Well, no.

They're not going to do that because he never did, right? But what they likely will do, which might be interesting, is he will be a shodo without the standard shodo, like, identity. So he can fire fists. I don't want another shodo. So in- No, no, no, no, no. Here's-

Okay, let me put this another way. In the same way that Gouken is an ansatzuken practitioner, he will be like that. Uh-huh. Where you have a guy that looks and represents the moveset of Ryu Kenakuma and Gouken, but not as a direct fireball-tatsu uppercut guy. That's what I think. And that might be interesting.

I don't know what that even means. You know, fireballs, no magic. So, Gouken, running palm, throw, crazy demon flip, and, like, the one shoryuken you get is a super. And a sick person. Gouken? Yeah. So, like, normal-

Gouken with no fireballs. No, because it'll be different from Gouken. No, it's going to be the style, but, like- Okay, but what I'm trying to say here is that when you hype up the fifth mysterious never-before character- Okay, we haven't even seen him yet. Yeah, but don't hype up- oh, he's slightly different from the existing character. I want to see him before he's- I want to see him.

Give him your theory. I'm giving you your theory. I want him to be totally different. Sure. That being said, he might just be a fucking badass. And I wanted a new character. Oh, I- No, they wouldn't have said-

They've said it. They've said it. Oh. Now you make no sense. Okay. Because nothing about what they said told us it was a new character. Before we're giving Pat shit about not wanting to try Skullgirls, because Beowulf is like this,

now I kind of want to play all just feet front of four way less now that it's just boring Retsu. Why? But how do we know he's- Poison's in the game. Because he's Retsu. Because I already know who the fuck Retsu is. What he looks like.

When it was this open field of- Sure. Anybody that was never in a fighting game before, that was so much more interesting. Sure. How does Retsu play? What? How does Retsu play?

I don't care. Probably boring. Well then you have no idea. Do you understand the word new? But- That's what I wanted. I wanted a new thing. You have no idea.

It was not going to be a brand new character. But they never said it was going to be. They said never been in a fighting game before. And they said he's someone that's not on your radar. Therefore- Retsu was totally on the radar. Not really. You know what this is?

This is Toon Link. To me. This is totally Toon Link. No. I've seen this character before. You haven't seen it in fucking like 20 years. Yes. I wanted it to-

If you wanted to go into the weird back catalog and go new, I wanted to see Dan's dad. Anyway. Retsu hasn't been around for what? Literally 25 years? Liam, continuing one more piece of news here. It's not even- We're being ignored because we don't agree.

There's an interesting- There's a fourth change to Ultra Street Fighter 4. Is it Guard Break? Is it a better character? It's hyper minimal. Is it Guard Break? But it's interesting. Okay.

Because you're going to mention it. I'm going to say something else after. You motherfuckers. You know what it is? I know what it is. And I'm going to say that someone asked Convo Fiend. And Convo Fiend said specifically that he's not in the game. And it's probably something to do with the setups.

Okay. This is confirmed that one extra- Is it fucking Guard Break? No. God damn it. It's one extra frame of hit stop. On your characters when you get hit. And what that is in the game Convo Fiend said is for,

is to stop unblockable setups. Good. That was said, someone apparently asked him after that, still at Super Arcade. And apparently he said that that was not a thing. Can I get some water with that? Yeah. Someone de-confirmed that?

Yeah. Convo Fiend lied. I find it odd. I find it odd. So I don't know which way it's going. And I'm going to wait for more confirmation on that. Weird. But like, regardless, like, it'll take a minute to get-

I hate fighting games now. I was watching that. That's what the end of this conversation is about. Why? You love fighting games. I hate them now. You hate everything until it's existence in your hands. You're like, oh, okay.

Killer Instinct has bad netcode. And Retsu's boring. Which you gave up on anyways. I totally did. But it's still fun to shit on. God, it's so fucking childish. I don't get my sack on the mail. Okay?

Fine. Fine. I need my mail situation. Your mail situation. Shut up and eat your cookies. This is a good cookie. Actually, I want to bring something. I did have a big day, you shit.

So, Pat, we order a lot of packages. What do you think of Amazon Air? I think it's never going to come to the store. I think it's never going to come to the store. I think it's never going to come to the store. I think it's never going to come to the store. I think it's never going to come to this country. But if you live within 16 kilometers of distribution place,

how would you feel about it? I would feel weirded out, because I live in an apartment building. But it's sick. So where the fuck is Amazon Air supposed to put my package? On the sidewalk. But it's sick, isn't it? So Amazon announces that they're trying to set up a thing

that'll send an unmanned drone to deliver your package in half an hour. Just geckos? Basic geckos? Well, airborne geckos. And someone's going to steal it, strip off the GPS, and fly.

What's to stop someone from shooting this thing? Yeah, exactly. But I cannot wait to see that happen. And take the goodies that are being transported. I live in an apartment building. Where the fuck is Amazon Air supposed to drop my package? It's not. Like this on the roof of my building?

You know what this literally is to me? This is those contra-power-up flying things. You shoot them out of the sky, and you get poor. You get shit. Yeah. Maybe you get it, maybe you don't. You don't know what you're going to get,

but it's going to be good. Yeah. And anyway, the day they're available anywhere near me, I'll buy a Kindle. It won't, though. Just to thank Amazon for introducing this to me. You might not be able to. It has to be under five pounds.

A Kindle's under five pounds. I don't know, man. Amazon will make the Kindle under five pounds. Just so that they can throw it at you through your window. Yeah, exactly. You done eating your cookie pack? I'm already done. They can deliver the cookies to your door.

While you eat your cookie, let's take a word from our sponsors. God, good cookie, though. Hey, guys. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio.

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This is the A plus material. So thanks, guys. Thanks. Yo. Yes. You like Star Wars? No. No.

Okay. Hold on. Maybe. Do you like- No, I don't, though. Not anymore. I like those first three movies. Those first three movies are pretty good.

And Cotor 1 and 2. Do you like J.J. Abrams? He's okay. Yeah. Nice. Pretty good. He's got-

Nah, fuck off. He's pretty good. I don't like that second Star Trek movie. And her darkness was all right. It was pretty good. I think it's bad. I don't like you. Fuck it.

No. You think I'm bad? I like- Would you like me better if I was J.J. Abrams? Of course. If Lens Flares are shooting off Pats Head all the time, yeah. I'm getting there.

I would like you if your last name was Cumberpatch. Cumberpatch. Yeah, you would. Cumberbat. Cumberbat. Cumberbat. You know what I mean? The most British motherfucking animal in the world.

How is that even in the world? Geez. Sherlock. He's awesome. Sherlock's the best. Yeah, okay. Yeah, well I know how to say his last name. Why are you talking about Star Wars and J.J.

Abrams? Because J.J. Abrams has commissioned and completed a one-to-one scale Millennium Falcon. See, this is good news. For episode seven. This is good news because the headline doesn't read, J.J. Abrams gave a bunch of CG assholes a bunch of money. Exactly.

The budget for Star Wars episode seven CG is going to be low. I want the interview to come out where J.J. Abrams is like, man, why'd you go all real sets and stuff? It's like, so I watched this review on the internet about the pre-polls by some weird murderer guy named Plankin. I don't know. I agree with him. And I just want to see the warehouse they're going to be filming this fucking video.

It's the Millennium Falcon. It's right over there. It was going to be great in 15 years where George Lucas patches out the real footage and puts it in CG. I still can't believe that's a thing. I would be shocked if Disney did not get original versions on Blu-ray out before this movie came out. Yeah.

I would be totally shocked. It's going to happen. It's gone. Like, yeah, we lost the prints, whatever. You can recreate that shit from Laserdisc. Yeah. But no, like, this thing... What do you mean by the originals?

Lucas lost the original film of the original three Star Wars movies. You mean the ones without all the... With all the bullshit. He says they threw them out or some shit. We don't need them anymore because we have the new digital version. It was like, it was like, Samurai Shirt on 64, you know? Right, right, right, right. They just, they can't find the burn discs.

Or it's like, how was it? Sega just got rid of tons of materials. Oh, don't even. Who needs Golden Axe? Who needs all this shining force shit? Like, they just went to town one day, you know? He made out like a bandit, though. This thing is not only one-to-one scale and perfectly detailed on the outside, the interior

is all 100%. How fast can it do the Kessel Run? Under six parts. Under six parts. Sure. I'm thinking... Man, could you imagine if the fucking first scene of this movie is Old Man Han Solo talking to somebody?

He's like, no, I totally shot first. What are you talking about? No, he's just shooting the shit. You know, while we're on it, Parsex are bullshit because they're a measurement of distance, not speed. Yeah, but no one knew that in the 70s. But it's space travel. Like, if you could do it underneath a certain linear distance with hyperspace and shit?

That's pretty cool. Yeah. They have the insides made and you can house a couple of families living in houses. Oh, the Millennium Falcon's huge. Isn't it like 12 or 13 rooms? It's insane. It's a little... Yeah.

It's a house. The Evan Hawkin Kotor is half the size and it's giant inside. Huge. Now, to back up the camera, to get it on the whole thing in the frame, you'd need something that's four times the size almost. Yeah. Not necessarily. It depends on the ability.

It could have tracks on the ceiling where the camera's going. Have you seen the movie Idiocracy? When it came out. Okay, whatever. There's a Costco that goes for miles that has clouds and fucking birds flying around it. And I'm like, you need a warehouse like that, basically. There are big warehouses, dude. Are there?

You could just say, fuck it. Drag the whole thing out into the desert if you wanted to. Yeah. Doesn't make it a good idea, though. No, you should not do that. That's where they're going to film Tatooine. Again. Again.

Back to the Tatooine. Why not? Back to Tatooine. People remember Tatooine. They love it. Although, like... Back to Star Wars 7. Back to space.

They'll revenge the return. Take it as a sign, though, that, like, if they're going to spend this much money on the giant-ass thing, they'll spend that money on smaller robots, too. Alternately. So less CG. Fucking thumbs up. Hey. Seriously, they have so little budget that the entire film takes place in the millennium.

Which I would not be opposed to. It's like a Kevin Smith movie. Yeah. It's like phone booth. No. No, Disney's going to throw as much money at this as it takes because they want the 70s toy craze that Star Wars created. They want it back because that was the most lucrative shit ever.

They need it back. More than anything. You think Marvel's cheap? You think fucking Star Wars is cheap? Yes, I do. I think Marvel's cheap. They weren't cheap, though. No, I don't mean in terms of money.

I think they're just, like, kind of gross and cheap. Because comics are dumb. Oh, right. Learn the lore, guys. No, you don't know anything about the lore. Beta Red Bill is cooler than Thor. Fuck the guy, the mutual friend that we know who says that. Wait, who's that?

The guy loves Cyclops. No way. But he doesn't love Cyclops. He says Beta Red Bill is awesome. He is awesome, though. But he's better than Thor? He's not. Thor's lame.

Not... Compared to Beta Red Bill, he's not. Yeah, but Beta Red Bill is everything I like about Thor. But he's got a weird dumb horse face. So why'd you just have Sarah Jessica Parker drawing on the guy? Yeah, that'd be even better! It's letter time. It's letter time.

It's time for letters. Yeah. Oh, man. Today's letter comes from a guy that said Beta Red Bill is a garbage. Today's podcast has been a total clusterfuck. And if you have questions that are even weirder than that, where should you send them, will you? To Sarah Jessica Parker at G... No.

SuperBestFriendCast at Gmail.com. Where is that? SuperBestFriendCast at Gmail.com. And we might read your letter if it's not bad. Yeah. As many of them are. Yeah. You know, but some of these might not be terrible.

Or we could just make up our own questions. Oh, God. Which we've never done before. If we were a David Cage podcast, we would have the illusion of being able to write it. Yeah. You know what? Or we'll just ignore, like you said, make up our own. Like I'm going to do right now.

Okay. What's your new podcast? What's it? Wally. Thanks. Wow. What's your question? Thank you.

Yeah. What's your question? Well, Plague asked me this personally. I thought it was a pretty good question. Oh, great. Okay. So, guys. This is about cheaps.

What is the best console boot up sequence? PS1. PS1. There's no console. PS1. PS1. There's no content. PS1.

That bro... Before Dubstep. Before Dubstep. It knew that this guttural machine noise. Oh, it's so good. Oh, it's so good. PS1. Like, I didn't even have a PS1 until way later.

No. Fuck it. I didn't get one. I bought a PS2. But it feels warm. You would be around, and people would turn on. And be like, yeah, video games. No, because what comes after that is the Capcom logo.

That's like... I knew you were going to say that. Oh, so good. No, for me, I would take the PS1 sound and combine it with the GameCube. GameCube's pretty good. I like the visual of the GameCube, but the sound isn't as good as the PS1. I'm really fond of the GameCube and the Dreamcast, but I'm PS1. Yeah, PS1.

It's the noise. It's just the noise. I didn't even own a PS1, but it is so good. You're totally right. The Nintendo GameCube's visual is way better. Definitely. The game battery goes under your logo, but that just... It's so good.

And I wish I could control the GameCube one more, like tilt around. Well, as opposed to all the others that you can't do anything. I know, but you can make baby noises come out of the GameCube. God, I got to turn that into like my text message ringtone or some shit. It's a good one, man. It's a really good one. You know, it's new and we're kind of still used to it, but the fucking the PS3, like... I hate it.

I hate that tuning. It's a tuning ace. I think it's terrible. I like the tuning ace. Yeah. It strikes me as like a bad screensaver. Totally. Absolutely.

I liked it the way it was before the patch that changed it. What was that? You know, it's subtly different after the patch. No, I did not know this. It's changed a little bit, like they re-recorded it or something. And I prefer it the way it used to be. I could explain it, but actually, you know, I couldn't explain it because I don't know about music.

It's too granular and use-key. But if you listen to it, you'll see the difference. I have a clear worst, in my opinion. It's the PS4. The Xbox original. It's the sound of a cardboard box opening up. It's dumb. It's not.

Oh, shit. Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah, that's pretty bad. The original Xbox? Yeah, I don't even remember what it sound like. Yeah, I remember the ads when the X would break apart. Oh, shit.

It was a box opening up. Yeah, it's bad. Really not bad. It's an honorable mention to the PlayStation 4 because it doesn't have a boot-up noise. That sucks. The X-Bone is then superior. It has a boot-up noise. It's not much different than the 360s, but it's nice.

Honorable mention to the Famicom Disk System, which has a kick-ass theme. Which is then recycled where? Where? In the GameCube. It was recycled, yes. If you take that, I can't. You take the GameCube's background theme, like when you're just eyeing it. You know the slow sound?

You speed it up by times 20-something, and you get the Famicom on, which is a sick tune. I really like that tune. So that was a great question there, Mr. Gripes. Yeah, sure. Mr. Gripes, Mr. Gripes. We're looking forward to hearing, reading your... Talking you on Facebook about farm animals. I was going to say, we're looking forward to your bizarre stories involving penises.

For years to come. Reliable gaming news sites. Liz asks, hey guys, not to show you if you've covered this before, but I was just thinking, you talk a lot of shit about things like IGN and Kotaku. We do. So what sites do you consider reliable, because I haven't really found any that I've stuck with? Let's start by excluding Neogath. Let's start by excluding Neogath, because it is not a news website.

It is not a news website. However, Neogath... Neogath would be the best. It's the fastest, best way to get your video game news, but you have to get it through a forum. And a filter of fucking... Of crazy people. God damn, they're insane. But that would be the best, best place.

But they're the reliable crazies. Go Nintendo's good for Nintendo shit if you can stomach the ridiculous amount of bullshit he posts. Then for, I don't think it's reliable. But they don't miss stuff. Okay. But they post analyses and they post stories that are not true. Yes, this is true. Not their stories.

I don't think there's anything wrong with Silicon Era or Joystick. Rock, paper, shot guns. Joystick, Joystick is it. They're a big hit. I don't mind. Like, again, I feel like Silicon Era and Joystick are my good news. Well, let's say this. All the major ones are garbage.

Don't read anything. Yeah, only read something that a guy in a forum told you. But that's ridiculous. Like, people actually need news. Kimatsu is good. I don't know if anyone's brought that one up. Because regardless of whether or not you endorse these sites, you click and read them. I click and read them when the guy from Neogath sends me to them.

Oh, wow. I'd say game trailers, but game trailers always piss me off when they're like, here's our review of Mario Galaxy, here's the final suit that I'm going to just throw in the footage. But we can then pick each one of these sites. Like, don't be hipsters. Just name a site people are getting news from. I go to Silicon Era, go Nintendo, Neogath, Kimatsu, PlayStation Blog, because that's like stupid unfiltered announcements.

Whatever. And I'll feel like... That's it. It's not specific, but for fighting games, obviously. Oh, and Event Hubs. I'll go to... XK is great as well, but Event Hubs supports a lot of community things. Event Hubs is great.

I'll go to Event Hubs for fighting game stuff. I'll go to Joystick for general purpose. Just feed me headlines so that I know what's happening. And then for anything more than that, I go to Neogath and you get it there first. Giant Bomb's cool. Go read Giant Bomb. Yeah, but they're not much for news. No, they're a personality site.

They're not a blog. They're great. They're great when they get their hands on things. Yeah, I just stick on Neogath. And I go to Destructoid just simply for the vitriol when some bad reviewer reviews the game badly and then cries to people in the comments over it. I think we should highlight the reason we bash Kotaku and IGN a little bit. Inaccuracies and lateness, mostly.

And stupidity. Sensationalism. Sensationalism. There have been like two or three really fucking great columns and pieces on Kotaku. Totally. The Treehouse, the one with that game company that made, what's the fucking game that runs on Unreal that was teased for the Vita briefly but remained PC only. Dude, I don't know.

I don't know. Anyway, that was a super huge scandal. They're high voltage articles where they're like, this company needs help looking high voltage. The word we're looking for is clickbait. Yeah, sure. Clickbait gets me to stop reading. Polygon. Polygon.

I read a fantastic article today about gender marketing in games from the 90s to now. And I was like, wow, why couldn't this have been anywhere but polygon? Polygon has occasional amazing pieces. The one with Technos about Double Dragon. Yeah, but I read that exact same article years ago. This one was great. I've read a good piece or two off of the PA report. Yeah.

Oh my garbage. That's fighting games. I have never seen more. This is the shoe on head retarded, like nonsense articles come out of anywhere more than the fucking PA report. Yeah, absolutely. Like Ben Kuchera is crazy. The fighting game things are just atrociously fucking accurate.

Someone on our Facebook said, hey guys, what do you think about this article about controllers? And it was this video on the escapist and it's some gamer girl just going, ow, the Wii and the move are so stupid. I also hated the 360 controller. So you're not endorsing the escapist as well. I'm not endorsing the escapist. I like Gymquisition though. Gymquisition is good, but I think most stuff on the escapist is just like entertainment.

I remember when Yatsi was like entertaining for like six months. Yeah. It was exactly six months. Exactly. I like the escapist's old format. It read like a magazine. Yeah. It was pretty nifty.

Thanks a lot for the question, Liz. Jordan asks, hey guys, what fads were going on when you were in school that everyone was obsessed with, but you took no part in? Oh, I took no part in. Pokemon cards. Get that shit away from me. You're right. You're right.

I fucking stayed clear. I hate Pokemon. I took this one kid though was selling his whole deck this one time. I bought it off of him for 30 bucks, turned that shit around. Since you were bigger, you should just punch him down like you said you usually do. Yeah, when you killed Pokemon. I wasn't shut up. I wasn't a bully.

I looked like a bully. And I defended the people that were getting bullied. So as you were talking about bullies, you're like, oh, I just beat up people all the time. And then you said, but I know I defended people. Yeah, the bullies would. I looked like a bully, but I wasn't. The bullies would get an empty bully. Because you couldn't read and then you would beat them up.

You know, you can keep trying to put, turn this into a thing. I'm going to keep trying. Sorry, Willie. Sorry, Willie. The end. I'm sorry. Right. I'm sorry I have to keep reading these emails to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The emails that you are clearly reading, which is the worst time I could ever try and push this narrative. What is the question? I completely forget. What fags did you refuse to take part in? I didn't even refuse, but I wasn't actually into pogs. I bought some, but I had no idea how to play. And it was the type of thing where if you say, I don't know how to play, people will laugh at you.

And then I didn't actually play, but I had a bunch of problems. I was hardcore. I don't know. You got to play on the edge. The thrill of losing your kitty. Sorry. I don't even know that. You're what?

You mean your slammer? Your kitty. What the fuck's a kitty? It's called a slammer. Your slammer. What the hell? But they originally had kitties. Bullshit.

Weird slang that I'm not familiar with. That goosebumps slammer was the king. I went to a school that had like 200 something people like grade one to six and kindergarten and sec one to five. Oh, you went to one of the baby schools. Well, because I lived out in the fun country. Yeah, right. And there was like 200 something people.

So like there weren't really many fads out like outside of my age bracket that I was not interested in, you know, like Yu-Gi-Oh came in and I was like, yeah, Beyblade was a thing when I was like way younger. Yeah, it was fun. But like within my age bracket, there was like 40 kids. So like the amount of fads would always be one and I would almost always be on the cutting edge. Because you'd have to be.

I don't remember any like incredibly huge like world altering fad that I was just like, nah, I don't remember any like that actually. Really? You just, I don't know. I played Pogs and that's the only big one that I remember. Did you play Devil Sticks? I know. But that never got big at my school.

That was never a fine one. Mine got that pretty big. That never got big at my school because every single time people would try and shove Devil Sticks, they would fuck it up and people would point it laugh at them and then they would have sticks in their hands. And then they would hit people. So very quickly Devil Sticks were banned from my school. Devil Sticks a.k.a. Chromagra.

No, there was one kid with Devil Sticks. Spittin' Baster Rhythm Sticks. Maya asks, hey guys, just wanna see me. I like you and Killer Hancing too. You weren't bad, Maya. You weren't bad. You weren't so great in Ace Attorney, though. Fuck that other girl, though.

She's garbage. This is by Maya Angelou that said you know that. Maya Angelou's like Kim Moo's a shit. No one likes Kim Moo. She asks, hey, should I give my 14-year-old brother my old PlayStation games that I loved but he hasn't played, or should I just give him a new game? I think the point is... I need more context.

Yeah, I think she's kind of getting at like, I'm trying to show my brother video games. Yeah, it's hard to go back. It is. It is. You're less likely to be like, what the hell? But I will say this, right? And here I go, being nice before you shut me down in some stupid fucking way again in another video. He's talking to Liam by the way.

Yes, I'm talking to Liam. Because no one remembers the building up of Liam that I did before you existed on this damn thing. But, Louis Liam is the product of... The product, wow. He is the product of a childhood where he was displaced from the era that he should have been gaming in. Okay. Because he had access to a genesis and old shit that mattered. That's weird.

Because he was isolated. So as a result... On the country, he can't have PlayStation. Yeah. So he knows the shit that matters. Those require electricity. And he grew up and had a pseudo childhood, a pseudo childhood, like we did. In a bubble.

Years in the future. It's... Because he didn't have access. Liam is basically from the future. And he's better off for it. I'm giving you a compliment. No, no. I thought what you were going to say, like the product of...

I thought you were going to be like, I showed him Mega Man X. And I was like, fuck you. But no, that is true. It was really weird how like... Yeah, I had an NES genesis and a 2600. One of the PS1 was out. That's weird. Someone your age should not be obsessed with Streets of Rage.

No. But you are and it's a super old game. Holy shit! The Streets of Rage came out before you were born. Exactly. That's our childhood. And that's his thing. When I had my job interview at THQ, they asked me what my favorite game was and I said Streets of Rage.

And he said, sorry, how old are you? And he was like, wait, that came out the same year you were born. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, how is that your favorite? And then they're like, that's stupid. We only hire people that like Final Fantasy. I was the most good shit baby ever. This is a weird question because my answer overall would be, of course, those games are probably great.

If you love them, you probably have decent tastes. They're probably great. Depends on your brother. I was at 14 when I had a PlayStation or even PS2. Whatever it was. I could see a Genesis and Super Nintendo game that I didn't know about and go, wow, that looks awesome. Right? Some people can.

Some people like that. Some people like, I could give a friend of mine is playing through Xenogears right now. And he's going, wow, this is really cool because he can put himself back into the PS1 era. If you gave FF7 to like a 15 year old, many of them now would go, what the fuck? This is garbage. It's unplayable. Yeah. I think the best way to do it if you have that time would honestly probably like sit down

with him and try to play a game with him. I think the tricky thing about 14 is that you've already established tastes and likes by that point. So he will have played video games. What will they have been? Will they have been more modern games? In this case, if I was in this situation to have a 14 year old or whatever to play games, I would not give him old games as a treasure because in case he hates them, fuck you.

Okay. I don't want to get angry. So here's new games that I think are good. Because I have my nephews that were like under 10 fucking doing crazy killstreaks in Halo. Right? And they were playing God of War and Call of Duty and what you call it, Grand Theft Auto all the time. Like you can't even whisper an old school 16 bit game at them and not get laughed at

in the house. There's a certain point in your brain where depending on when that kid started to play games, the idea of reading, the primary method of delivery is text. Instead of voice can be a huge barrier. Yeah. And not saying 14 year olds nowadays can't read, they can probably read. That's probably, they can probably read. Like 11 year old sister.

Can she read? Yeah. Great. Awesome. I was like, I want to play a game. Let's play a game. And I was like, what do I even have that she can play? That would be appropriate.

Probably a thought of that before you ask the question. And I was like Blue Dragon. Blue Dragon. Oh. So I whipped out Blue Dragon because it's just fucking Dragon Quest and I was like, what do you think? I think we've heard the second part of this story. Probably.

Where you were like, oh God, I'm sorry. Well, yeah, because it's not a great game. Like an hour into the game, she was just fucking done. She just couldn't play it because like text and like, it was just. In their mind, those games are mobile games. Yeah. That's what's happened. And even for me who played all the shit like when it was out, there are certain parts of

certain games that you just can never go back to. I can't play Deus Ex 1 anymore because the way the controls work, I just can't deal with it. The fact that you can aim at something and shoot it and clearly hit it and it does nothing or is that? That drives me nuts. I can't do it. A lot of PlayStation 64 games are like that.

Like, oh God, I can't play this anymore. 16-bit games. Just old feeling. Yeah. Right? Old jank. So it depends on how smart and awesome your brother is. And willing.

Yeah. Like I say, sit down with him, see what he thinks. And pick the good ones. Don't do it. No, but pick some of the good ones. You know what they are. Pick the most broad accessible one. Yeah.

And if that don't work, then just stop. Yeah, definitely don't start with it. But if it does work, then you can jump back and forth generations, but you can start showing them the old things that matter. Absolutely. Good question. Yeah, definitely. That was a really tricky question.

I'm glad I don't have any younger siblings. They're the worst. Andrew wants to know, hey guys, what's your favorite game that was parodied in Reboot? And with the obvious being the fucking fighting game, that was one of the most important games because it's the game that sent Enzo into the future. I'm going to say that one. I don't feel like they parodied specific games mostly. I think they parodied genres.

I know one, but mine is the Duke Nukem Slash Evil Dead. Yeah, that's what I was going to go for. The Duke Nukem Slash Evil Dead. It was clearly a lamp of that tone of Duke Nukem Slash War stuff. Absolutely. Like first place. The underwater one, which he meets Andrea, is totally descent. Not enough hallways going, corridors going.

No, but like, no. Shut up. That's more a game genre. But number one, absolutely the fighting game. Yeah. Number two, the crazy ass hybrid unintended effect of war and dinosaurs. Oh, so cool. The T-Rex.

That was great. The best. The absolute best. And third, the Mad Max one. Yeah, that was really awesome. The Megabyte was a true. That was really, really awesome. Yeah, that wasn't really a game.

No, that was a movie. That was a movie. No, but it was basically a road racing game. It was a road rash type of game. Yeah, it was a Mad Max. Mad Max. Mad Max. But racing, you know, whatever.

The fighting game. Yeah, the fighting game. It's the fighting game. It's basically Mortal Kombat, but then he does a super kick, and he has the blue shadows behind him. Yeah, it's clearly all fighting games. I love you. Oh, man.

Oh, you know what? You know what? I think I told you guys. There's a single tear coming out of his eyes. He thinks about reboots. The whole series. Up to that point, I've been waiting for that genre, and when they chose it, it was a big, important moment.

The most I couldn't have, like, fucking planned it. Yeah, it was perfect. It was perfect. Can you not understand? I remember! I was there with you! You excited? In spirit!

We're trying together. The new reboot's going to be Force Person Shooter. We were linked across space-time with reboot. It talked yell louder so that you can yell over this kid. Yeah, fucker. What, you get to do that with Ham, but when me and Ham are doing it, you're all like... Double standards are okay when they apply to me.

Basically. Yeah, that makes a lot of things make a lot more sense. But no, Liam was saying that if they did reboot today, or if they're going to Force Person Shooter. Call of duty. The third person shooter. I would love to see Bob and Dot and Enzo. In Call of Duty.

I would love to see what the guys at Mainframe would do with that. Yes. But, you know... I don't even want to go there. I want it to stick to... They would probably mock it relentlessly. Well, now it's just Wreck-It Ralph. You know what I mean?

We already got our game parameters. They did the Bumzy 3D episode, not unless we were really good at it. Yeah, with the rabbit. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Sure, sure, sure. That rabbit's a motherfucker. I thought it was a Chipmunk character.

He was the Janet. He was some kind of creature. A weasel or something. Some hybrid weird thing. A bubsie. It's a bubsie. What the fuck is a bubsie? A bobcat?

A bobcat? Yeah. Fuck Animal Mask. Michael asks, what do you guys think about the future of steam machines? I don't know. I think they're going to do a bit better than the gas-powered machines and the coal ones that came before it. Whoa!

What did you swap for what was it? 18th century humor. Next question. What does it say? Steam bar. It says steam machine. Because they're actually called steam machines. Yeah, they are.

Really? Yeah. I think right now they're kind of worthless, wait until the price drops and the specs go up, but within two or three years you'll be able to get one that's better than a PS4 and cheaper than a PS4. I don't know. There are so many unknown variables. Exactly.

Like, if they're all going to run Linux, like, does it only, like, do I have to stream from my PC to play older games? Yes. That sucks. Yeah, it does suck. That fucking sucks. And if it has to rely on Linux support from PC publishers, then that's going to suck. Yeah.

I mean, at the end of the day, like... Just hook your, just put your, just hook your PC into your television. Exactly. Just do that. I don't really have an opinion on this. You won't need a Steam Box to do that. Just go where the games you like are. Matt's knocking the table.

I don't really care. Yeah. Jim wants to know, what favored video games, or what video games did you want to enjoy finish, but ultimately felt that they were not worth completing and why? Is that screen three? Remember me. Remember me. Remember me.

What game is that? I've only finished that game. I forgot that. I can't believe it. Bioshock Infinite. Yeah, I guess that's the most recent one. But that's mostly because I was already spoiled to everything. Man, there's some guy in Reddit that is so mad at me for not liking Bioshock Infinite.

That game is disappointing and kind of racist. I've got a nice, big, fat, juicy one. I bet you do. Project Boring Zone. Oh, yeah. You need to give me more of the title. Has anyone finished Boring Zone? Project Crossing.

Okay, Project Crossing. I really wanted to be hype on that considering how much I love it. Did any of us even get close? I love that one. I got so far into an Amco X Capcom. Yeah, I can't believe that before you got it. I don't like the Fold every time. It's the same game every time.

Yeah. Man, Super Robot Wars, you know. Do you have a mutual friend who likes that type of stuff? I have no idea. Yeah, he hates it. He even plagues. There's no robots. Here's an interesting one.

Steven says, okay, hey, I know you guys hate all these, what's your favorite questions, but I wanted to try and spin it differently. You better. You're on the fucking block now. According to everyone else that's not wooly. Which of these two characters do you think would be wooly's favorite? Oh, this is a good one. This is good.

Sarah Connor or Ellen Ripley? Oh, jeez. Who do I like more? It better be Ellen Ripley. I think it's Ellen Ripley, but I like Sarah Connor better. I'm going to say Sarah Connor. Right down the middle. I say Ripley.

Why? Because she's a better character. Just because I think you like Sarah Connor less. Because Ripley... Hold on, because Ripley was in a movie with Bonona Ryder. By her proxy. Straight to the heart. That's pretty funny.

I absolutely love Ripley more than Sarah Connor. She's way better. I'm sorry, but like... Dude, she was badass across multiple movies. Yeah. Well, she did sign off on the script for Alien Resurrection. No, no, that's not Ripley. That's not Ripley.

She was badass across multiple movies. As a horror victim. Then as a soldier. Empowered mom soldier. And then as a like, I'm above it all Christ figure kind of thing. And as a robot monster. Not that I don't love Ripley, but also I'm going to say that Sarah Connor,

for the two movies she's in, they're better than when you add in Resurrection and Alien 3. You're right. But that's just the character. The isolated character. That's not fair. Because you should compare two movies to two movies. And in that case, hey, come on.

Yeah, yeah. Come on. I love Terminator and Terminator 2, man. Which is my favorite movie. But when you're putting it up, it's mainly in Alien 3. No way you're correcting me. Sarah Connor is in Terminator Salvation. Because Linda Hamilton was putting you dialogue for that.

That movie is bad. It is. So I keep trying to have my girlfriend watch it. Why? Because it's hilarious. Because she's like, I never watch it. I didn't even know that they released another one. Hold on, hold on.

Let's all remember when we watched Terminator Salvation in theaters. Liam, I don't think you... I saw it. Yeah, but you weren't with us. No. And we all lost it at the moment. We're there at the Skynet home base. And there's a big fucking valve.

At a window. And stairs. And stairs. And floodlights and carpeting and door handles. And fucking... If you look really closely, you can see it. I hate Monday's cut. Why would robots build themselves an office building?

Why would robots that can scan you in the dark five seconds ago when you were hanging out with Common not see you when they lean into a black door? Why would robots care about windows? Why would robots not be able to communicate with each other so that when Arnold comes back, he can't just say, Hey, excuse me. Can you step out of the way? No.

Crush that over Terminator. Are you sending T-100s down into the foundry to turn the valves? I'm almost certain. It turns the thing. It turns the thing all the way out. It turns all the way out. Oh, my God. Here's the thing.

Listen, when my girlfriend came over here, I made her like a huge meal because she's having trouble with her diet. Because it's the caveman diet. It's super hard. So I made like marinated lamb chops. I did all this shit. But I had on the TV, on the title screen, I put in Terminator Salvation and paused it.

Why do you keep doing this? Because she's like, I never seen it. I don't want to see it. But you got it. You got to feel the pain of Terminator fans. So she says, this is such a great meal. You're so awesome. And she looks at it.

She was, you motherfucker. I'm not watching this. Take a look at this. And then we do watch it. He's a real boy because they gave him a heart. There's a fucking, but not like I'm going to do it. Oh, my God. Right?

It's implied that it's... She has a strong man with a strong heart. His body was the Terminator body, but he had love. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Mick G gave him love. Oh, shut up. Just shut up.

I can't believe that came out. I can't believe it came out. The only single... I can't believe it was supposed to be a trilogy. I can't believe that. It was supposed to be a trilogy. Yeah. I can't believe it.

Like, I don't know if you... The only... When I shot it just there, like Terminator 2 is my favorite movie. I was fucking disgusted when I saw that. The only cool thing that in Terminator Salvation is just towards there when he's fighting the endoskeleton, and it's hands are melting or it's hot, and it gives John Connor the scar that he has in the first one. That's the only...

Yeah. I was gonna do that. Yeah. Meanwhile, fucking Ripley, man. Ripley for life. Anyways. Is that a hashtag? Ripley for life?

Yeah, man. Start it. Uh, Laura. Asked. Make aliens to... What's the best sale you've taken advantage of? The sale? Yeah.

Steam. What's a... It wasn't your TV. What? Crazy sale. Ah, a decent deal on the TV, but not in the TV box. Um... Best sale I've taken in...

Steam! Steam! Steam! Steam. Possibly Steam. No more humble bundles. In terms of raw dollars saved, I don't think anything can beat the weird PC sales that go on.

But for, uh, iDevices, one to three were free a couple days ago. Yeah, they're awful. All three of them. No, they're awful, though. They're all right. They're all unplayable. Are they? Yeah.

What's wrong with them? They told me everything that was on the laundry list. They're not. Okay. I can't tap... I can't... Can I tap screen and read text? No.

Then why do I care? No. No. I... I fucking... That's putting words in my mouth. They're not unplayable. They're unplayable.

Ghost trick is fun. When he told me what was wrong with them, I'm like, those are unplayable. What's the problem? Just one. The music. Oh, well, that's unplayable. Unlistenable. The music is a defining feature of those games.

It's the GBA soundtrack versus the... Oh my god, are you back in serious? It's atrocious. It's atrocious. There's frames missing from the art and some animations don't exist. Best deal I took advantage of was at humble bundles, almost for sure. What about you guys? Nothing.

I'm gonna go against the grain and say, uh, I put in money into a vending machine, and then the cookie didn't pop out. So I put more money into the vending machine, and the other cookie popped out and knocked both cookies down. I got both cookies. But that wasn't a deal. Exactly. That's what I told everyone at Dawson.

And then I was like, no, you idiot. You just paid for two cookies. And I was like, well, I have two cookies. Great deal. Great deal. Great deal. Great deal. I felt really good about it.

Awesome. That's awesome. You took advantage of that shit. Not bad. And the vending machine didn't know you were coming. I didn't see it. That's bullshit. And last question from DJ Ferrer.

Whatever. Hey guys, can we the fans expect anything exciting from you guys in the future? No. What is the side effects next step? We don't know. We're closing. It's done. We're closing doors.

Don't expect nothing. We're closing, yeah. We're boarding up the doors. Just like all successful ventures. We were just waiting for an easy way to say it and you gave us the answer. Just like all successful ventures, we plan to never expand or do anything new. No. Yep.

Nothing coming. Nothing. Nothing really hype coming at all. There are no long term plans that we can't talk about. Especially not next year. No. Nothing. No.

Please get unhyped. No. Don't think about that. Don't expect anything near the world. We have said too much. What is coming up on the channel? Nothing. Followed by more nothing.

Well, the finale of Beyond Two Souls is going to come up for sure. So nothing. So nothing. We got more disaster coming up. And maybe when Machinima wants to put up our new episode about zombies, maybe they'll put that up. Whenever one of those, whatever hole in that schedule opens, I don't know when the fuck that's going to be.

They'll obviously be in a playthrough. Yes. Right on. Right on. And it'll be great. You are stalking anybody this week? Or should we just keep it open? I am stalking really, really quickly.

On the matte watch. On the matte watch, please go into, if you really like wrestling, go into YouTube and put OSW reviews. And what it is, is guys, you think about this. Think about the aesthetics of botcha mania with the music, all the video game music. Okay. Sense of humor. Turn it into a podcast and then put video, to actually have a video podcast.

That's about an hour and an hour and a half long. And then have it hosted by three funny Irish guys. Okay. That's it. OSW reviews is reviews of old paper views. All right. You mentioned this part. And I've watched, there's 39 videos, and they also review, like the, do you remember,

Hulk Hogan had a movie called No Holds Bar, which is him against the big black guy. That was the movie. Yeah. It was called No Holds Bar. And they review the movie as if it's like, look, Hogan's not even selling. Again. And then when Hogan's girlfriend becomes a villain, oh, she turned heel. She turned heel.

They're hilarious. I've watched these all week. They're a blast. If you're super into wrestling. If you're super into wrestling, I mean like super, super into wrestling. You described this to me and I was like, that sounds really funny if you're into this. That scene's even a bit far for me. If you're not into it, you need to step the fuck back.

I'll link you to one that I think is like a good entry point. Plus they love Simpsons references. If you're not into that, I'll give an alternative this week. A woolly watch, if you would. A woolly watch. This is decidedly creepier. Isn't Jody's Bizarre Adventure? That was amazing.

Yeah. Oh my God, that was good. Man. Shout outs to Leo Modesto. Who made that? Leo Modesto. Leo Modesto. Yes.

That right? I got it right? I thought I screwed it up. Grats, you did it. You pretty much got it right. That person is amazing. Yeah, I know. I can't believe the quality of like fan animations coming out recently.

It's kind of nuts. I know. But I was no, I was going to give a shout out to Gaming in the Clinton Years. Yeah! Gaming in the Clinton Years. If you haven't seen this, get on that shit. Blast from the past. Wait, hold on.

Stop. I know you haven't seen it. They've got 60 views. That's my favorite thing about Gaming in the Clinton Years. Because it's this dirty, like, like, guilty pleasure and you watch the video, it's like, like, a thousand views. Like, nobody knows about these. No one knows about these.

It's awful. But they're just, they're recordings of a public access game review show from the late 90s, early 2000s. And this dude that has no idea what video games really are is giving his objective opinion on Mega Man X. Which are back, like, Vamp Raider, Castlevania. And confusing. Like, no, the best, the best is his review of Street Fighter Alpha 2 where he's like,

this isn't like the John Claude Van Damme movie. Fuck this game. It's, it's basically Clueless Gamer by Conan. Yeah. But like, ten years earlier, he had a lot of public access. And real. And serious. The guy really is being totally serious.

Generally, people with the longest legs in fighting games are the best characters. Like, um, in Symphony of the Nineties, like, the character doesn't have very many animations. And the player will feel bored by this. Doesn't he also say that it's not in 3D? Yeah, no. He just, like, he always says it's not in 3D. The player gets a bunch of shit, too. The player and the character are the two things that he brings back all the time.

Street Fighter 3rd Strike doesn't have full motion video cutscenes. Capcom, what's up with that? And like, the fact, and just the fact that the opening thing is this really, like, dorky screen, like, blotched out logo of Clinton's face. It's so good. Which is like Battletoad's animation. Yeah! What is like, Blade Gaming in the Clinton years, man?

It's a weird thing. It's so obscure, but it's fantastic. You can't stop watching once you start. One last tiny thing is just something that I think you would like. On the OSW reviews, they say, they take Randy Savage and they go, What chocolate bar is Randy Savage dressed up as today? And they go, they didn't throw from Ireland and British dance so much candy. Like, Randy Savage looks like this bar.

Like, chocolate bar. And he finds a chocolate bar that looks exactly like what he's wearing. Every time they do it, like, what is Bret Hart dressed up as? And they always find it. It's hilarious. Pretty good. Pretty good. Alright.

I'm tired. You're also tired. Yeah, this podcast was tough. It had some ups and it had some downs. Time to hit the dusty road. Let's get out of here and slap Liam's sisters. Yay! Oh my God, I can't believe it's that bad.

Thanks for watching.