Castle Super Beast - SBFC 018: Dickbutt was a Spiderman Villain

Episode Date: December 10, 2013

Video Game Award shows and shrimp salad...the ingredients of a barf party. Things are happening! MGS 5 DLC is the sickest ever! No Man's Sky looks great! Telltale games needs to slow down! And moar Smash Bros talk!Got a question for us? Send it to: [e-mail]

That's exactly what he said. That is both the answer and the draw of everything that I've been talking about. I hope you live really close to us because the box won't have holes. Are we talking a FedEx envelope? Yeah. Not sure. It's from the right post office too. How am I the cruel one, Tamils?

Because you're going to be the one who mails it. You're recorded. It's going to be under your name. Oh, and it's just your ideas and concepts of I'm the one that's forced into it. Yeah, basically. Because you can't read the label. You're basically Garfield and you mails small cats to Abu Dhabi. I thought Abu Dhabi was not a real place.

It is. And then I grew up and it was. So the question was, did they make Abu Dhabi after it was mentioned in Garfield? Yes. Yes. Jim Davis has the power to control nations. Thanks Jim Davis. I threw in our comments in one of the Beyond Two Souls videos, someone said fake land to

stand. And I like that a lot. I like it a lot. Fake land to stand. That's a good one. This is Zanzibar land when it's a made up bullshit place. But that's a made up bullshit military place. Yeah, well no.

Oh, we don't know. Isn't Zanzibar a real place, though? I know. I sound like it. This is uncool. It's not like a drink. If we said no, then all the people there are like, fuck you. I know.

I think our augurship in Zanzibar is probably low. Like four guys. They've got flags right now and they're like just dropping them and stepping on them. I thought they would love us because we were in metal gear, but no. Sorry, Zanzibar land. It's like us making fun that oilics is not a real formula. And then the maker of oilics is like, fuck you guys. I was going to sponsor this shit to you.

Today's podcast is brought to you by Oilics. No way. Fuck that. In the 21st century, if you're like low on oil, just you guys are going low tier on that. The podcast is brought to you by Snatchers. Yeah. Yeah.

How about that? I know. I don't want to leave you. Leave you? Need a replacement? Get a Snatcher. Get a Snatcher. I'd like to introduce them by full main body Snatcher.

Yeah. Yeah. That's great. I was not expecting that to be so high. Nobody was expecting that. I couldn't believe it. No, it's great. Oh my god.

I would temper your expectations on that. It's probably going to be like a half hour and it's probably going to be in that same base. I'm going to get to super jump off of things. And I'm going to get to do it pretty much. And cut the shit out of things. I'm not going to get to do it. Nope.

It's going to be really sick. Also, they didn't have to throw Snatchers in there. They really did. But they kind of just did. They did. Because me. Because it's a Kojima touch. No, not because.

So it is unequivocable now. You cannot make the argument. Everything Konami makes takes place in the same universe. Yeah. Now that Snatcher and Metal Gear have combined, the jumps are sewn to the enders and police knots. You don't mean Kojima stuff. Because Contra, why would you say Contra guys are just in snake?

But Boktai takes place in the same universe. That's for sure. But I'm talking, that's all Kojima stuff. Yeah. And I'm saying that. And affirming that. P.E.S. Soccer. It's a yoga engine.

Probably. Don't forget Nanobreaker. Who would forget Nanobreaker? Who would forget Nanobreaker? It's not blood, it's cyborg juice. It's oil. Cyborg oil. Cyborg oil juice.

This Soma have like a vibrating whip in- I bet he has everything. Does he? Okay. Cause you know, you can throw that future world in there if you want to. Except fans. Why? Why'd they get rid of the Arts style?

Soma has lots of fans. Which Arts style? Cause fucking Dona Sol sucks. No. Anyway. We're moving too fast. Hey guys. Episode 18.

What's good? We're legal now. We said that at 16. We're legal more. And I'm pretty sure that at 14 you went like, yeah. And I don't know what that meant. But we got some bad bodies from time to time. It didn't sound great.

The important thing is that it's not against the law anymore. Remember kids, as long as you don't get caught. This podcast is young, naive, and fun. It has dreams and aspirations, but they'll all get shattered. And it's not all worn out and useless, like later. Like it'll be later. Like 27. Like podcast episode 20, 21.

Really? I thought you were going to go for like 24, 25, something going on there. No, that's, yeah. Speaking of which, Happy Birthday. Prepare for the ruination of the podcast. Thank you, Liam. Welcome. Yes.

Happy getting out of the hospital. Well, that too. Happy not dying. Now, Matt, a term you use pretty frequently is... I use this term. Worst birthday ever. Worst birthday ever. I thought that you would add more oif to that day, like boif day.

Worst birthday. Ah, okay. Now, that gets thrown around a lot. But I challenge any one of you to tell me a birthday you've had where you spent like minute one from 12 to the final minute 12 in a bed with a fever of like over 40 Celsius, which do the math and roll it around. It's hot. All kinds of diseases, things going horribly wrong.

It was awful. Not being able to read those labels really caught up with you. Fuck off. Food poisoning and all kinds of shit. It was the worst birthday ever. So what was it? It was food poisoning. I thought it was a flu.

It turned into food poisoning and then all the other diseases just... So good thing you went to the hospital so that when you were at your weakest, you were nearby lots of other diseases that could opportunistically attack you. Not that I wish it upon you, but I was shocked that a swarm of insects did not bar down your door to then attack you in your bed. Locusts. Just locusts. Just locusts.

Just locusts. Something smells ripe in here. Yeah. No, that was four days of pain and like it wasn't even the kind of like days at home where you're like, I can catch up on shit. It's like no one can't focus on anything. Well, the important thing is that you're alive for the podcast. Yes.

Because Matt and I never learned how to do any of this shit. We didn't learn how to do it. Right. You remember, instead of asking you if you were okay on Sunday, I asked you if you could make it to the podcast. I asked you if you were okay. How do you podcast? Yeah.

I don't know how to do the thing and put the iTunes. Rule number one, make yourself indispensable. No, honestly. I think I said, are you okay? Can you play KI right now? I feel like I would win. Was I the only one who asked if he was okay? I actually didn't ask.

Oh, good. Good. You know, well, basically, yeah, bad shrimp salad. Whoa, that's obvious, though. Don't do it. Why would you eat shrimp salad? I usually go for an awesome chicken Caesar salad at this great place. Yeah.

And it's delicious and I decided to have variety one day. Shrimp it like. I felt special. It was my birthday. When Dork Girl got horrible food poisoning, it was also from shrimp salad. No. Yeah. Remember, kids, don't try anything new.

Always eat the same thing. Your steadfast choices are the best. If you have someone that's like, you should try a new thing. You say, I'd love to live. Also, if you get sick and you're weak, don't go to the hospital. That'll make you worse. Well, look, stay home, buy a sexy nurse. My spirits are broken, but no.

Unfortunately, my awesome girlfriend was there to take care of me for the entire time. Until day four when she got it too. Oh. And she got super sick. Wait, she got the food boy's name? She got the... Did you vomit on her? No.

She got the other things that came with it. Oh. And it led to the stomach problems and the vomiting. So what are you doing here doing this podcast? Well, she got better over the next 24 hours. She was stronger than you. Yeah. And sure.

Yeah, pretty much. She got the weaker mutation of it, basically. The weaker viral strain. And then I have to turn the tables around and then start taking care of her. Yeah. Right. And get sick. That's the deal.

Yeah, exactly. And that's not great because you're still trying to recover. And then she's like, oh God, I'm going to barf. And then you're like, no, I'm going to barf. Because I'm going to barf. Literal barf parties this weekend. Right, right. Like instead of birthday parties, barf parties actually.

Did you hit the really bad moment where you didn't really have a bucket around because you were just using the toilet? And you saw it and you're just like, well, there's only one place to go. And it's straight into this bathtub. No, no, no. So what did this technically be called barf day parties? That's what I was thinking. This is the worst barf day ever.

Oh man. It really did hit that point. And then you watched the VGX's and you threw up all over again. Aw, sick. Just all over everybody. Aw, sick. Get fucked. Throw up all over this Mercedes that I can only drive in Grand Theft Auto.

Dude, at my Grand Theft Auto, I mean Gran Turismo. And my Grand Turismo, you mean Grand Theft Auto. I got to give a shout out to the EMT that picked me up there because like when they carried me over to the hospital and the stretcher and I was like, yeah, you know, so it was also my birthday when I got sick and he's like, oh man, what'd you do for your birthday? And I was like, oh, you know, took like, you know, 20, maybe 30 shits and he's like, you should have shit exactly 28 times for your birthday. That's weird.

Just tap it off like candles anyway. But then you hit the number and you have to stop. Yeah, EMTs are weird. Hey man, they got a lot of time on their hands, but it's fine. They're wheeling around these dead people. Exactly. Those guys are heroes, man. Death cards.

You guys are great. Bring out your dead. Bring out your dead. Dog. Dog. I did manage to, when after I recovered, though, spend my time finishing off Stone Ocean. How's Stone Ocean? That shit is bizarre.

Shot due. Oh my God. What a card. Yeah, no, no. It actually has a pretty slow start, but there's like moments where they're like, you already know what stand users are. So we're just going to fuck with you and have more things happening at the same time. It's like, oh wait, there was another guy there and then you have to figure out two things.

It's the kind of thing where the JoJo stand user will be like, this guy's power is A, for example. And here are the rules of A. And you go, okay, I know that. So let's see how it'll play out. And right as you're about to figure out, oh, I know how that, they go, also there is B. And here is B's rules. Also, we're not going to explain how any of B's rules interact with A. So what the hell is going on?

Is that what's happening? They don't even say it's B. It seems like it's more A. And then your brain's like, what? And then it's just, you know, some guy's peeking around the corner. That's basically it. But no, it warms up to a really nice point because there's some sick shit in this where we basically have moments where they're like, okay, fuck the gimmicks and all the dumb bullshit. We're just going to get into our fighting stances and scrap it out. There's a stand in this thing and they actually describe it as the weakest stand because it's

unconscious and all it does is it makes everyone around you want to fight. Oh, that's awesome! And furthermore, it makes you good at fighting like you can be. So that's really good. And it makes it so that everyone that's affected by it can see the strongest body parts of everyone else affected by it. That's awesome! So your muscles blow.

So this is the fucking fighting stand. It's called Survivor. It sounds sick. That's really cool. But no, it goes on. I want to be a stand user when I grow up. It's great. It introduces like the second black cosplayable character to the JoJo developers.

That's not just like a little black Sambo sidekick type thing. It's got some good shit. I recommend it. So you would recommend at this point all of the JoJo's up to six. Yes. There's one thing that there's good news and bad news. The good news is like six parts later, everyone is still like, yo, that fucking Dio guy. Yo, that guy was sick.

Remember how much of a dick Dio was? I was sick when he was the sickest. But the possible bad news, it depends, is like, okay, if your perception of, you know how like you tell me about like, oh, the boss appears in Peace Walker? Peace Walker. And I'm like, fuck, I don't even want to know. I'm so afraid. What are they going to do?

Well, we all heard about that at a time. But I was the one that told you the boss shows up and it's the worst thing ever. Right. Because basically the idea that they could possibly ruin it by having more story or more things unfolded. Yeah. Why did you touch it? Exactly, right?

So in Dio's case, it's like, would seeing Dio in more context that makes him not the most evil sleazebag piece of shit ever. Sounds like a bad idea. Sounds like a bad idea. Yeah. But it then leads to the worst horrible evil shit ever happening. Oh, good. Oh, good.

But you kind of weaken the memory of Dio a bit in order to... You weaken the purity of Dio. The purity. Yes. Yes. You know. So there's a little bit of that. But you know what?

Maybe if you keep reading JoJo, there will be more context and Dio's for you. Maybe. But yeah. You should start reading part seven. Well, yes. It's actually, I know that part seven is like a reboot hard. Yeah. And it's very clear.

It's a hard reboot. Yeah. There's very little option. Yeah. You know, by the time they're done that. So yeah, I just spent my, I just sat in bed. Well, hey, you had time to read manga when you were vomiting your organs out of your face. Exactly.

What were you doing, Pat? Me? I finished Always Sunny. Nice. I got, that was weird because I was binging on it. I was doing like, ah, what am I going to do? I'm bored. I'm just going to watch Always Sunny.

I'm done? What? What? Dude, that show is awesome. It's fucking great. It's fucking great. It's also, it's eight and a half seasons now. Wow.

I like that. Geez. I was expecting like nothing. It's all. No, no, no, no. It starts in four by three. Wow, never knew. We're in this weird time period where if you start an older show that you missed.

Yeah. Oftentimes it will start in four by three. You'll go, wow, I waited too long. Yeah. The wire is not wisecreen. No, the wire is super not wisecreen. I feel like it benefits from being in four by three because it locks it to its time better. Yeah.

Yeah. So I finished Always Sunny. You're totally right. When you told me years ago that that is the path of Seinfeld characters from the end of Seinfeld into the new millennium in terms of scumbagness, you were completely right. It just, it's the full circle. You were completely right. Yeah.

And needing more scumbag sitcom shenanigans, I started to watch the trailer park boys. Nice. Which I feel ashamed that I have not gotten to already. That is a weird, weird, weird fucking show. Did you get to that episode with the cheetah? No. There's a cheetah running around and keeps getting high. Okay.

That show is so gifable. That show is so fucking weird because it has played so hard deadpan. It's played documentary. It's almost like the office where there are camera crews walking around and people are like, get the camera crew out of here. Why the fuck is there a camera crew following around Julian around the park? It feels like it's another character from the show that's silent and just has a camera. And you have scenes in which like Leahy is leaning out of the car talking to the camera

crew as he's driving down the street at like 40 kilometers an hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like what? What is happening? It's just, there's also just the link between those two shows to me is like the end credits of trailer park boys and the main theme of Always Silent. Yeah, very similar. Just playing the happy music over shit being as fucked up as possible.

I highly recommend it, but it's a weird watch. You really got to dive into trailer park. And I also finished Assassin's Creed 4, which I did absolutely everything in that game. All of it got all three sets of super armor got all like they have three sets of super armor in this one. That's incredible. Damn. Does it end with more magical bullshit?

No. Okay. Here's a question. Does it give you story in any way? Here's a question. Is it a bad dough? Don't look forward to the ending or is it like it's fun? So that's the problem is that the modern day stuff is incredibly subdued.

Yes. There are characters from earlier games and they're played extremely well and used extremely well, which is sparingly. And then the main plot factors in a lot to the pirate plot. Like there's a tie. There's a, you know, a link there. And then that story, when the modern one fizzes out, it fizzes out confusingly. And it's like, well, we have to finish the thread.

We have to keep the Assassin's Creed 3 thread going. Yes. We don't know where it's going to go, but here's a little stop gap. Right. The pirate story is amazing. Right. And it's the scoundrel who turns out to have the heart of gold storyline. But it's different from all of those.

In which that in all of those is very early, the scoundrel is shocked by the moral bankruptcy of the thing that's around him, like Ezio. Right. Ezio very within an hour goes from being a punk ass kid to like, oh, the world's fucked up. I got to do something. The story of Assassin's Creed 4 is the story of a man going from kind of a scumbag to a complete goddamn scumbag.

Cool. Nice. And there is he can possibly go until his whole life falls apart and then deciding to turn it around. I imagine the whole falling apart thing happens very quickly. It does. It happens quite rapidly when it decides to go. That part is great.

That's about 90% of the way through the game. Then you finish the game. And it's just like, I'm going to be a good guy. So go kill these four guys and the game ends. And the stinger for the game is so shitty and bland that the developers knew it. And the trophy you get when you see it is Saw That Coming. That's great. And it's not even a spoiler.

I can just tell you what the stinger is. Do it. The stinger is old man Edward is at the theater and he turns around and says, come on in. Hate them. And hate them as a little kid and goes, oh hi papa. And then it fades to black. We knew that. We knew that.

Of course. So what? That's for people that skipped on Assassin's Creed 3. It's totally. Everything about the game except for the last five missions is amazing. It should have ended with one final mission after that. Because it has an hour and a half to wind down into nothing. It's really disappointing.

And we saw it seem to really nail that when they said Assassin's Creed 4 will sell much worse than Assassin's Creed 3. It will have a much higher meta critic. And I'm pretty sure that's been nailed back there. That being said, you still highly recommend this. Oh, totally. It's awesome. It's the best Assassin's Creed game.

If you stop playing Assassin's Creed, you might want to jump off there. I didn't finish AC3. I just read like a wiki. You said you did 100%. So I'm assuming like more compulsive. And in AC4, the chip stuff, the side stuff, it really scratches that it's perfectly. I will pick it up when it's $20 and AC5 comes out. So there's just a small detail that I could mention that would explain a larger design choice.

In terms of stripping out bullshit, your fast travel locations within cities are the viewpoints that you synchronize. Yes, way better. So instead of spending money to unlock fast travel, it's like did you do the thing that you do in every city as soon as you get to the city? Now you can fast travel to any point in the city. It took a while to figure that one out. It took a long time to figure that out.

Like seven games. Seven games plus like 20 side games. I was about to say four, but no. That being said, having beat the game and doing everything, it brings to light how much of a bunch of scumbags Ubisoft is. You remember when they gated away the Ubisoft Play Passport? And then undid that. And then undid that.

But they undid it so fast, people didn't actually know what that did. Or the depth of the product. Or the breadth of that. So I know what that did because I use that constantly. You know how in all the other Assassin's Creed games there's like a Facebook game that lets you get money? Yeah. The economy system?

None of us played it, but sure. You used to train Assassins in Brotherhood with it. That's what that is. Also, if you need money, which you need a lot of money in this game. So there's that. There's the Kenway Swap game. You're a pirate. You need tons of cash for ship upgrades.

You can fight legendary ships and shit like that. And you know, progress and fight bigger ships and take over shit. So that segment of the economy is gone. That's like 75% of the in-game economy. It's like you can stock your boats with ship and stuff. Yeah. And send them off and it takes 20 hours or whatever. Yeah.

Liberationize that, exactly. What it also removes is it removes the social chests and the social convoys. And what that is is that in the game you're like, I ain't cashed really bad. I'm going to go ask a guy at a tavern. Where's a convoy? I can just go rob for money. And you rob them for 2,000 Rials. And you're like, yeah, great.

Well, if you're connected online and you have this passport, you will find social convoys, which are 10,000 Rials, and dramatically more common, as well as social chests, which have five times the worth of the regular chests. Right. So you know an Assassin's Creed game where you look at the minimap and there's a billion little chests? Yeah. You would have to actually go and get all of those to be able to break even. Wow.

So it would make the game way, way, way worse. So they actually get it away like a significant amount of money. If I had played the game without that, it would have made the game way worse. And the fact that that was their little online ass thing, disgusting. Awful. So thank goodness they rescinded on that. Yeah, I hope that that's what they do in the future. Obviously they're not going to bring the lock back, but let's just get more respect.

That being said, watch them patch the lock back in. So I'm going to totally one, and they're going to win with Watch Dogs, in that when I lost my internet connection once because of a fluke, I realized I could not find any of that shit anymore or do any of that shit. Right. So I wouldn't be able to gain money as fast as I wanted to, so I stopped playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's also one of those things, the game is locked from the future.

Right? Yeah, exactly. Suddenly you don't know if you can do it. Yeah, if you wish to do this game 10 years ago, and that shit was gone, it would be way harder. But it's great. So I like, it's a ridiculous concept, but just what if people just stopped using Facebook one day?

You know, like it went the way of Friendster, then what? You know? I remember Friendster. Yeah, I thought I was going to say MySpace, but no. MySpace continues to exist, guys. In some way. For bands. Yeah, real fuck.

But even then. Actually, Liam, before your thing, I just remembered something as well. I wanted to say about JoJo. You know how we talk about like, What is JoToro's Facebook page? That's just MySpace. No, just Storm as a character, right? You see her, she has elemental powers and uses them to do things or whatever.

Yeah, the comic book versions, yeah. Yeah, sure. And it's like, but like, what does that do or mean? She just shows, it's really unclear what Storm can do. It's super unclear and it's never really that great. When Storm was written, they wrote the most powerful character imaginable, and then later they're like, oh, we fucked up. Because she should be able to solve almost any problem.

So there's a character. She should be able to shoot lightning out of her fucking hand. So there's a character in this called Weather Report, a stand called Weather Report. That's great. That's so good. Is it a guy in front of a green screen? Yeah, even his arms?

Megan, giant green screen penises. And basically, there's a point where his stand goes into heavy weather mode. It's nuts, but he basically is Storm. Except, holy shit, Iraqi knows how to do elemental powers properly to the point where the fight is ridiculously brutal and bloody and the dude is using his blood. He's evaporating it a little bit and then freezing it in midair to create spikes to impale his knees.

Is that a bloodbender? No, he's using the weather to do these things. To do bloodbending. And all kinds of other shit and you're just like, what the fuck? Storm is garbage. Right. No one's doing it. I want Iraqi to...

She had that cool mohawk for that 15 year period. I want Iraqi to write a Marvel comic using the X-Men. He did! It's called JoJo's Messiah! Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest. First, he wrote a Fist of the North Star comic and then he wrote X-Men. Yeah, so as we could play Zelda, it's pretty fucking good. I picked up East Memories of Salceda. Yeah, you did.

It was the easiest decision you've ever made. Do you want to say wise? No, it's east. No, it's wise. Continue with your pronunciation. I only played one of them. What part is that? East one.

It's a remake of the fourth or fifth. I'm not a pro, but it's, I think... Falcom will continue forever. E7 was the last big one. I never really played the other ones. It's fucking good. You said as hard as I... I hear they tone it down a little on Normal, but on Hard and Nightmare, it's just as hard as it ever was.

I tried East Oden Falcana because I got on Steam for like two dollars. Fuck off. And I was blown away at how fucking hard it was. It is substantially harder. I played Falcana actually. It's great. Matt, how are you not just saying this? This one's better.

Yes. Just the game's called Yes. No, because it's called Wise. It's not called Wise. Shut up. It's what it says. Whatever. Mate.

Other than that. I'm here today doing this podcast on this Monday, missing the premiere of the Madoka Magica third week. Oh no. So I'm gonna go see that next week. Your fans are just playing on Sunday next week. I did see the little message that went out. That went out at work. Yeah, I had tickets for it for a long, long time, but for next week, for Sunday.

I'm really excited to see it. And yeah, my week was really dull. I went up north, saw my family. We're excited for you to be excited to see it. I'm glad you're excited for that. I'm feeling excited about the possibility of being excited for you to be excited. Do you want to come see the movie with me? No!

I'll say I'll go with you and then I'll stand you up like you did that other time. I did. You totally did that one too. We went to see Looper. That's why I hate Looper so much. No, you saw Looper with us and some other thing. I was late. Yeah.

I remember. All right. It's been a really slow week. Really slow week. It happens, man. Matt. Thank you. Nobody cares, man.

Actually, everyone's going to care. Because I signed all your checks today, by the way. Oh, isn't this a box? It's going to... Anyway, me and my girlfriend... That's good. That's good. Me and my girlfriend marathoned all the Resident Evil movies this weekend.

Why? Because... Here we go. I can't. Here we go. Can you tell me you got something out of this? Yes, I did. Did you include Degeneration?

What? Did you include Degeneration? We were going to, but it was time out. There was no time left. We were going to. That was the problem. I don't know about this marathon. She had seen one of them.

Seems fishy to me. She had seen Degeneration, but I had not seen Damnation. Damnation's actually decent. Sure. But anyway, because I mentioned to her, I'm like, yeah, it's a blah, blah, blah, Resneva movies. She's like, yeah, resin evil movies. I'm like, what?

She's like, I really like those movies a lot. Goddammit, you need to dump your girlfriend. And I went, I love you. You're the best. Let's marathon, then. I thought you were going to say, let's marathon you. No, I don't. Go so.

Because I was like, who? Who could ever like... Amelia Johnovich themed wedding. Yes. That role flipping through his shirt. You're just saying, Amelia Johnovich. That's what he said. That's what he said.

Milos Jovovich. Milos Jovovich. Well, I'm glad I got it wrong. Moving on. Anyway, so you watched the first two. Johnovich. You watched the first two, the night, and then watched the next three, the next morning, right? So here is an actual, like, I haven't watched these movies in a while, but me and Liam saw

the last one together. Yeah, we did. That was last year. It was fine. It was fine, yeah. The first one is unwatchable. There is no fun to be had in the first one at all. And I'm shocked at how poor it is.

It's deadly serious. And that's where I punched out. It's deadly serious. The second one is this is so bad, it's really funny. The nemesis makeup is so dumb and awful. The second one is where they start stealing scenes wholesale from the game, but poorly directed. The third one is the one that has nothing to do with the games and it's actually not bad.

That's the one where they were like, we've got to get serious about this again. No, no, there's some joking stuff. That's the one that's on the desert. But I mean, yeah, exactly. That's what I'm thinking of. But I mean, they were like, we've got to make a movie that people will care about. It's not just some game movie. Yeah, it wasn't as dumb as all the others.

You've got to make a movie about my wife. And she's got such powers and shit, right? Because we need to get paid. To be fair, you did. We need our seventh honeymoons. To be fair, he did not direct this one that you're talking about. Oh, calm down there, girl. Oh, that's why it was better, right?

Sorry? That's why it was better, right? I don't know. Maybe it was. And that one wasn't that bad. And then the other one, which is Afterlife, which has Chris Redfield in it, played by the dude from Prison Break. I remember that.

And Claire is in it or whatever, and they got the dumb controlling Beatles that Wesker uses. That's the RE5 ripoff movie. It's the RE5 ripoff movie. Plus, it's got the random African dudes with the bags on their heads and the spikes through the axes that show up in America. Just throw them in there. Well, they were there in the Resident Evil game.

And that one was the one, the only other movie aside from Avatar that's got, wow, this 3D is actually very exciting. That's actually something I remember about that movie. The only other movie that I've ever seen. What about The Hobbit? Sorry? The Hobbit in 3D. We were so distracted from the shitty first person.

Are we going to go see the funny one? I was almost going to go see the Hobbit sequel, like early. We should go see it in FunnyVision. Because at my girlfriend's work, they all rent out the entire thing and see that the movie days are over. No, let's just go see it in Normal so that we don't have to. I would like to see it in Normal, but can we find a theater that's showing in Normal? Why don't we watch it in FunnyVision?

Because we'll never get to see it again like that. Ever in our lives. Ever. Ever. You know, you provide a compelling point, but I kind of... Ever. Ever. I'm sorry, what do you mean by FunnyVision?

It's 24 frames per second? 48 frames per second. 48 frames per second. Oh, I'd like to see that. I haven't seen it. Have you seen any movies in FunnyVision? No, I have not. Oh, well, you've got to see one now.

Everything feels like it's moving too fast. Great. It distracts you and it's almost... That loves frames. Yeah, but see, shit like that, bizarrely enough, does not distract me. It's retarded. It is. That is so retarded.

No, no, no, no, no. If you've never seen it, it will, because it's... Is it similar to the frame smoothing effect that a 240 Hertz television would do? Yes. It's like soap opera-y. No, no, no, no. No, yes. It's that, but it's so much worse because for flybys and establishing shots, it's totally

beautiful and fine, but the moment people are talking and having close-ups, everything's moving insanely fast, like you don't, you're uncomfortably like... Well, it seems like the kind of thing that I would have to see tonight. I will go see it like that with you. You know, like, the Hobbit is not the movie. Like, Tron might have looked cool like that. Not the Hobbit. Yeah, no, I can see that.

Right, you don't need to go that far. Plus, all of Tron with CG, it makes sense. Stop holding back film with your baby 24 frames a second. And the last Resident Evil movie, which me and Liam saw, has Leon and Barry Burton. And I think I told you, it's got weird, like, details. Barry Burton takes out a Python. Mm-hmm. Man.

He takes out, like, his gun. It's crazy. Like, why would you make all these shocking movies? Well, Paul W. Edison Anderson has played the games. I guess so. Well, fine. He doesn't show it normally. Five movies in, like, why not just be faithful?

Guess what happens at the end of the fifth movie? They set up the sixth one. Which is Wesker is the president of the United States. Of course he is. I remember that. In the games. Pat's struggling with it. He doesn't know if that's the worst or the best.

Unfortunately, and this is the saddest part, I swore off those movies a long time ago, but any chance of me ever going back died with Resident Evil 6, the game. And guess what? And the next movie is going to be about Jake. It's going to be fucking all of that shit. Leon is. They're going to find a way. Leon survived the fifth one.

Does he look like Leon? Okay, at the top of the Oval Office, standing on top of the roof, there's Ada, Wesker, Leon, Alice, and Jill. That's Leon. But that's, like, aside from Alice, that's fucking awesome. Yeah, I don't know about you. I bet you those movies would be totally watchable if not for Alice's character. Like, just completely remove her entire character.

Replace her with someone else? No. But then there's empty screens. No. No, I don't mean take the existing movies and digitally remove them. I thought you meant, like, Garfield without Garfield. No, I mean, just guns on a bike rolling around. No, I just mean, like, it's one of those things where, you know, we have to adapt it for the silver screens.

Like, you really didn't need to adapt it that much. But here's the thing, after watching all of them, it's the first one that ruins everything. If they started with the second one, it could be really fun. Totally, totally. The second one was, like, decent up until Alice came to the frame. You were about to say great. You were about to say great. Fuck off.

Well, here's the deal. No, they were going to say great. The beginning of that movie is great compared to the rest of that movie. Yeah. Because Jill Valentine is there. To cleanse our palate, we then watched Commando, the director's cop. Oh, but you had no time for degeneration. Well, no, this was like, we didn't have...

What? Wow, you're... What is... What is... Degeneration, you look good. Degeneration, which is terrible. I know, but if you're going to play them, if you're going to get them all in there, you might as well get the bad CG. No, we're going to watch Commando.

Because damnation, like... But it was CG. There's fights that happen in damnation, and they're cool. There's some of them around. It's like a floppy monster that fucking flops around. There's always a floppy monster. Speaking of movies, I saw Mad Max for the first time this weekend. The first one?

Boy, does that end on a high note, and it just ends so abruptly. Do you guys remember how it ends? I think I vaguely did. He's on his path of vengeance, and midway through his Slaughterans, not literally Slaughterans, it just stops. Movie just credits? They haven't finished killing all the people yet, so I assume in World Warrior they polish that up? There's two other sequels. Stop asking me about Mad Max.

Do you not know about the Mad Max? I saw, like, the end of Road Warrior. The only thing I know is that Lord Humongous is fucking radical. I really want to see Road Warrior. I hope it finishes up what happens in the first one. What about Thunder Dome? Well, of course, but that's after. What about Thunder Dome?

I also beat Rise. Talking about what you were talking about in Assassin's Creed 4, Rise, if they add more stuff, they maybe put it out on all consoles, but that is kind of, if they jump to different time periods, that's kind of the Assassin's Creed game I was promised. I would say, hold on, I want to say, you mean take Rise's combat and just straight up rip it and dump it into Assassin's Creed's game? Or do you mean take Rise's combat and rip it and put it into other era?

No, I mean, if you make a Rise sequel, put it Rise like it's rumored, Knights of England, put more options, but make another tale exclusively for that time period. That's what he said in a kind of weird way. Yeah, so jumping around, different cultures, different whatever, but you have the same basic premise and combat. No, unrelated stories, though. No, premise in terms of gameplay, like you're a soldier of some kind of your tribe culture. The reason why I say that is that the story was actually pretty compelling towards the end.

I was like, okay, I actually give a shit about what's going on. No, I'm hearing good things about Rise. Not just from you, but from story-wise. What about the gameplay? Well, that's the thing. I think I talked about this last podcast, once it gets to a certain point, I was having fun and they give you more guys and they give you guys that you have to do different things to. I was saying before, to a certain point, yeah, you could button mash and beat it.

No, I never asked you if I could button mash. I asked you if you could play it one-handed. Well, you know, you can't. You cannot? You cannot. After a certain point, it's impossible. Because you know what? It just seems like I should play it at some point.

It looks really basic. It looks like almost as basic as Assassin's Creed, but it has nothing else other than the combat. Thing is, though, we never got that good 300 game. We did? We never got that satisfying PSV 300 game. Yeah, that's someone tested. Actually, actually, hold on, that's a lie. This may be an untruth.

The 300 mobile game was pretty sick. Oh, sure. You have phalanx, and you just have to do survival waves. That's why I want to point out that I love the word phalanx. Phalanx is beautiful. It's awesome. As a name, as a formation, as a weapon, as a colossus. You do that and rise.

You do the phalanx. Fuck yeah, you do. Very good. It's the last part. You said it's really basic. Well, when I was playing it, I was like, this is the most AAA-looking beat-em-up ever. And eventually, they give you more things to do. That's primitive, but it's a launch game.

What can you say? The last thing I want to say is that we came up with the best thing where we had a big, huge dinner at Fire Grill next to the movie theater. Yeah, Fire Grill's nice. We went there. We ate a bunch. And then we get back. And this is the middle of the month we're getting to.

So my girlfriend says, I'm getting girl cramps. And I'm like, oh, no, not Shark Week. Shark Week. No. She's getting girl cramps. I love that term. It's so good. And then they go, I'm getting like, we ate too much cramps.

And she's like, oh, my eat too much cramps is joining with my girl cramps. And now they're forming the mega cramps. Nice. And all they do is eat like the mega powers. Yeah. OK, marry that girl. Yeah, exactly. All right.

Also, fuck my landlord. Oh, yeah. Fuck your landlord. Kind of break that shit. I'm getting on that. Maybe we can have who is what? God blighted Matt this week. I have one too.

Oh, sure. Go ahead. God's blighted everybody this week. We'll get to it. God blighted me because remember last week when I mentioned, why would you do this now? It's too late. You mentioned it. You mentioned it.

Get out of the way. Remember how I mentioned I got a Cyber Monday television? Yeah. That shit's going back. Nice. Dead pixels everywhere. Bending. Wow.

Really bad banding. What a beautiful $1,000 telly. Yeah. Who's made your? It's a Sony Bravia. Is it a Bravia? Yeah. It's actually really surprising.

It's kind of my fault because when I looked back at CNET reviews, I didn't understand what they were talking about because I haven't bought a TV it's so long. When they were talking about picture uniformity. I did not know that a television that does not have perfect picture uniformity with edge lighting means that you can see occasionally a big white line on light backgrounds when you pan the camera and it's dead center of the fucking television. So is this a defect in your TV or is it a defect with a brand? It is an issue with the form of edge lighting that this particular TV has very bad.

Did you notice? And I mean this model has it kind of bad and then my TV is like the worst way. It's worse than a dead pixel. Did you stare at the model in store? No, because I bought it on the internet. He had hours to react. But as pissed off as I am that I spent all this money to buy this television from Best Buy and I'm really upset I get to return it within 30 days for any reason including the

TV looks like shit and they're sending dudes to my house to get it. That's your favorite. I can't bring that thing down and we'll fuck at Best Buy, I don't have a car. I did not know people did that. That's been standard for a while now. So once that goes back I'm going to look at getting a more expensive TV that's bigger. You're a really good buyer. It's the same TV but nicer and bigger.

You should probably have physical contact with the device before you purchase it for a good amount of money. No, just buy things on the internet and get fucked them up. It would have been fucked up anyway in the store none of the other. I've never seen a TV with this defect. Hey guys. I'm an idiot. Hey guys.

World premiere. World premiere. Oh my balls. World premiere. What? What Matt called? World premiere of everything because every fucking video was a world premiere. We get it.

No. The BGX Awards happens. Hey dude. Didn't they? Hey. You know what's the fucking most unbelievable shit ever? What? Cranky Kong.

Oh it was the worst. Didn't see that coming. Oh wait we saw it a month ago. I can't believe it. And it was on the box leak. It was Amazon that leaked it. It was Amazon. Oh my god.

I cannot believe that Reggie went out and did that. I cannot believe that. Dude don't you understand Donkey Kong Country Returns Tropical Freeze is a sick new game for the Wii U. I'm hearing fucking believe it. I'm hearing the trail in your voice. Why was it in Smash? Like after this week.

Here's your soapbox. Like oh yeah no I know what he's talking about because we all wanted Bao or X or something and we all downgraded our expectations to Smash and then our downgraded expectations to Smash. So Nintendo's going up on the VDX to announce something about a game we know. So cool game as we know. Okay Bao X Smash. Bao X Smash.

That's it. Donkey Kong is cool. But it's not in that tier of coolness. I'm not itching to know. Well you know what? To Nintendo it is because Donkey Kong and the Wii sold like 7 million dollars. But to Nintendo Mario Kart is the height of what I'm saying in the L.A. And to us it's like Donkey Kong because that's awesome fun times.

Bao X Smash is... Of course. You know what I'm saying? It seems Nintendo are crazy but no this is just what they're saying but like Donkey Kong is not a game in which people are jumping at the bit for new screenshots. Especially when we all thought retro was making anything else. So yeah Amazon.com leaks the final blocks art for Donkey Kong country whatever it's called.

And Cranky Kong is on and everyone's like oh I guess Cranky Kong is playable. I wonder what this new Nintendo thing in the VGX will be. And everyone's like oh no it's gonna be cranky. It's gonna be cranky. And now it was cranky. There's no need to be upset. And everything was cranky. So he came on and announced cranky and Jeff fucking poked him and prodded him for more

info on anything. That Metroid guy looked really uncomfortable. I love the way that the retro guy avoided the question like do you have two teams or one? He's like I can't say. I thought he'd fall for that. I don't know if I have two teams or one. Retro has two teams.

No one's making Metroid dread. That's what you're asking. I can't fucking believe that that got leaked and they went up and didn't go with Smash. Like Smash is the one where there's content ready to show. Bail and stuff. It's like we have to edit a nice trailer together. Someone on Gap said why this is. It said why it is because Donkey Kong and his American Nintendo America is handling it.

And Japan doesn't even know what the VGX's are. That doesn't make sense. Of course. And I totally get that. And I know it. No I don't disappoint it too. I just don't like it. But here's, I want to bring up an example that I just thought of which exemplifies the

complete difference in expectation. It had been a smash new challenger approaches for cranky Kong in Smash. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Everyone would be hype. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Like exactly. Exactly. The fact that we've heard Donkey Kong.

It's like literally the same announcement. They could have done both and it would have been fine. Totally. Yeah yeah. They said oh by the way we have another little snippet here. And then just the little challenger of Year of Cranky. Year of Cranky. Do it.

The worst year ever. It was the Year of Luigi. Nasty Year of Cranky. Run it. The Year of Luigi. Nintendo that was free. So. You bet the lose money on that.

No. At the end of the day after watching that clip that Willie showed of the worst VGA moments that was one of the best moments of Cranky. My teeth hurts. My teeth hurts. It was it. So did you. I watched the whole thing.

I watched the whole thing. Me and Liam watched the whole thing. Why did you watch the whole thing. Can I just get something out of the way real quick. Go. So. You guys watched that highlight reel. Matt didn't even finish it.

I didn't. I couldn't. I made it. No no. I watched the whole thing. The extended cut. Mind you. Yeah.

And like I am like oh my god nuke it from space. It's the only way to be sure. You saw that five minutes. Now what I told you earlier was it was it was not great. Don't get me wrong. It was too long. It was the middle of the best. And the co-host wasn't good.

I'm not allowed to say that word anymore. No you're wrong. But the five minute clip was just it was finger picking the worst bit. Cherry picking the worst bit. Obviously. Obviously. So what you saw. You can't you can't imagine that.

Of course. Because that's not what you got. I can't imagine that the good bits out of what I saw. I totally disagree with you. I think in real time it was way worse. In a lot of times. Because those cringe things with the moments of interesting amongst a sea of bland. You saw guys push thief desperately for like half an hour.

And like the developers are giving interviews about thief and they're like oh we still have more time. Okay. Okay. You have a 15 minute interview with Randy Hitchford about tales from Borderland that was the most boring shit ever. So when Drunken Joel McHale yells at Jeff about the teleprompter. Not working.

Oh a moment of interest. Basically. Me and Pat were talking about this. I was like they have to. They have to have told the dude play it like a dick. Be a complete dick. Yeah. Whatever.

Of course. Doesn't matter. That stuff. Like the teleprompter. And then Jeff Keely always looking like oh god oh god. Yeah. This can't be playing a dick. There's no way.

The feeling I got is they must like Jeff Keely produced this show. Yeah. So he had to have known every detail that went into it. Absolutely. And McHale is he did very well at the Ubisoft press conference. Did well? Yeah. You remember that?

Barely. He did quite well. He did pretty good. So what's the difference here? The difference is McHale did the same shtick but terrible and apparently furious. He looks pissed off. And also like Jeff was trying to get serious words and edge wise. All I can think of is like Joel McHale is telling jokes and he's telling jokes in ways

that he is reading that shit off the prompter and you get the feeling that he did not want to do it. Right. Right. Right. Like the same thing happened with the Oscars a while back with James Franco where there were a bunch of lines where he just delivered them super flat because he was like I don't want to do this.

And they said you're going to say this fucking stupid joke and it's fine. You want me to do the joke? You want me to do the joke? Fine. And just sends the joke out to die. But I also got the feeling that it was like oh this is going for an MTV Music Awards style. Right. Loose and crazy.

I think that was the implication of the attempt. And that's not a bad idea. Because when they went down to the fucking GTA music like fuck. Like oh my god. Like the dude was like just he knows and he's dropping him on the floor. It was not GTA 5's fault but now I never want to hear anything like this. Because of that sentence. Because it was so bad.

Okay so wait no I retracted. Nuked from space ascended a search and rescue mission for fucking Joel Banderas. Get him. Take him back and then double nuked. The one to one shining golden moment. That's how you deal with it. My biggest problem with it actually is kind of different. Like I could live with all that bullshit.

Oh I think our biggest problem is the same thing actually. If the interviews and stuff were better. So when Broken Age came on. That was the best one. Broken Age and No Man's Sky. No Man's Sky. Those were great. But.

Although sorry. I was just going to say. I felt though that in Broken Age like Jeff was just totally trying to be like I'm a fanboy and I'm really trying to like oh my god I love this. And like it was just like basically like I'm not having any of that shit. I don't know who you are. But there was a back and forth. What I really didn't like was when the guys from Telltale came up.

The guys from fucking Titanfall company came up. Respond Titanfall. All these guys. They came up. I said nothing. They showed their trailer. And it was abundantly clear that they only intended to show their trailer and say virtually nothing to answer the most question questions.

The Titanfall ones are a really good example because they go up and they show the Titanfall trailer which was like 40 seconds and show up. There was a second type of Titan in Titanfall and then had a 10 minute interview in which they would say nothing other than hey there's a new Titan in Titanfall. It's like how'd you get a 10 minute interview spot? You're not going to fucking say a goddamn word. Like for me you could do the same press conference and just make sure these guys like have something interesting to talk about that's new about the game because we want to listen.

God damn we want to listen to your news. Just have news. Bring news. The Titanfall thing makes no sense because there's five minute gameplay videos of Titanfall out there. Why can't the VGA like the whole point is world premiere. Look at all these fucking trailers. What the shit.

Get boaters. Yeah. Whatever. And it's like a four like you said it's a 40 second trailer. What was the point? And I hope they improved that. Just shots of like Pelicans fucking just world down here. You could have shown anything.

I was just gonna say yeah I just hope they improve that because it's like I hope that they get that you know because they have an hour long version for TV that they're cutting down. I can't wait to see what the cuts are. Oh wow. Everything. But the three hour version like I hope that they get going forward that we don't mind sitting there and watching new gameplay of your game. In fact we want that.

That's exactly what I wanted. You know Nintendo did it right with a game that we didn't really want to see. Yeah. The Witcher had like a bunch of gameplay and then Titanfall oh look we're showing off this new map today. We're gonna have a match in this map. The minute long Witcher 3 trailer was easily the best thing in the entire thing. To me it was the broken age like entirety of broken age and then No Man's Sky and then

Witcher. I have one more big problem with it and it's the fact that there were three awards given out for Best Studio, Best Game, Best Action Adventure and the nominees for all three categories were the same nominees. More or less. And each one won a different one. Yes. Because everyone's a winner.

Everyone's a winner. Everyone wanted an award. Everyone's a winner. Grand Theft Auto needs an award. Ubisoft needs an award. You need a wreath on your box man. It was so obvious. It was so obvious.

Am I the only one by the way who was kind of offended by the Fulbright company being nominated for Studio of the Year? What did they do? I don't know. Gone home. Gone home? They were nominated for Studio of the Year over Nintendo, over Platinum. The Studio of the Year is a thing that makes no sense because if you're gonna do a category

in the games business about Studio of the Year it should be the studio that pays the most, has the most benefits, has a union. But Pat, how is that exciting for Mountain Dew Swords? It is. It's a good studio. I bet Naughty Dog treats their employees really well. I think that they should probably get props for that. And the winner every year forever is Mojang.

Totally. All of them at the end. But it's just like a rational being up there. They shipped one game in five years. Good job. And they swung. You can fight that battle with everybody from up above. But let's be real, they shipped a game very late and delivered a DLC that was not the

best. That we're still arguing about. But like it looked one game in five years because that gets you Studio of the Year. I know what you mean. And the game is way worse than the game you just made before also. All this negativity aside, there's one shining golden perfect moment of the VGA's and it has to do with how, oh fuck it. It has to do with how much of a dick Joel McKell was being.

And it was during your favorite sequence. It was during the Broken Age demo in which they announced, we got Elijah Wood as the main character, the guy who does the same voice as the audio book we were just talking about. This dude can talk good. And the first question out of Joel McKell's mouth is how much of the Kickstarter money are you paying him with? Oh, well he said how much you pay him, Jeff said the Kickstarter money.

And he goes, yeah, how much? How much does he cost? And Tim was just like, yeah. And Tim Schaefer just locks up and goes, ugh. And Jeff Keely kind of saves him from having to answer the question. When you make Tim Schaefer go, ugh, it's a relevant question with the way Broken Age is going. Well, let's think because Joel doesn't know the way Broken Age is going.

No, he doesn't. He doesn't. Exactly. That's why he didn't say Kickstarter. Jeff had to kick that one in. Yeah. Unintentional journalism. Schaefer's coming under fire because the Kickstarter money for Broken Age is getting

a little weird. And people, they're going to have to sell the game early to make it. But now the game looks actually weird. And then he's putting out all these A-list voice actors and people are like, how much are you paying these A-list voice actors? And the accidental journalism. I was going to say, yeah, Drunken Joel McKell asking the hall of questions that Penny Arcade report won't answer.

Hell yeah, won't answer. Why is that? Because they shut the fuck down or as Play For Real Gaming put it, famed satirical video game website Penny Arcade report shuts down. We finally had a rock solid segue. If you guys haven't seen p4rgaming.com, I'm going to shill the fuck out of them right now. And you have like video game called p4rgaming.com.

Yeah. Sakurai says killing himself would be too easy. And so no, PA report shut down, you know, apparently Tycho's cleaning house. We had a case of the dickwolds. This is one of those situations when the words and nothing of value is lost. Sorry. Sorry. He tried that like two videos in a row and it just got like trampled.

Stop it. Stop it. Anyway. I remember seeing the throw in NeoGaff for this and it goes, and nothing of value was lost. I'm so glad it's gone. And the very next reply is there's no point for me to ever go back to Penny Arcade. It was the best thing they've ever done.

Yeah. People were really late. Was that Ben Kuchera? Ben? So here's the deal. Ben, supposedly Penny Arcade report was multiple people working on a news website for video game journals. Yeah.

They hired a team. The only thing that you would ever, ever hear or see is, yo, Ben Kuchera said the dumbest thing in the world. Yeah. And Ben Kuchera is acting like a complete goddamn scumbag and saying people should lose their jobs. I hate this people being an unprofessional prick. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I love the thing about this stuff. The shutdown had nothing to do with any bullshit that was going on. Yeah. It was completely, it was just him downsizing the Penny Arcade brand being in all these places. Well, the, the PATV is shutting down at the same time.

The weirdest part is that Tycho just says, or, or, or Jerry? Yeah, Jerry. Whatever. Jerry, just straight up says, like, we started Penny Arcade report because we wanted to save gaming journalism. And we didn't. Yeah. Yeah.

It was a ridiculous, uh, bullheaded dream to have or whatever. Like, what the fuck? Like, not only did you not save it, you were one of the worst. Like, definitely a noble goal. Yeah. Cause, cause like you go read the about page the first time you go to this site and it's like video games journalism is broken and you're like, ooh, you have my interest. I'm intrigued.

Yeah. You know, you lean forward exactly. Yeah. And then it turns out, yeah, it is. And let's just, slock more bullshit on the pile now in case you're not familiar and wondering why we are shitting so hard on the Penny Arcade report. I will just tell you to look up an article by Ben Kuchera saying the Xbox one will kill used games and why that's great.

Yeah. I'd say hazard 90% of articles. It is one of the most like kiss ass corporate apologist anti-consumer pieces of dribble I've ever read. And those situations though, those situations when I feel someone says something so like are you like about anything? Yeah. It's that person or I want to be the guy that might be right.

Of course. Like I don't think I will be, maybe I will, maybe I just need to be the one that says this thing. And just in case it turns out to be true, I want to be the one. But when that's your stick and it doesn't work, you look like the village idiot. You look like Michael Pachter. Yeah, kinda. Who's become a lot more correct lately?

Actually. He's not talking about Nintendo. Yeah, every time. That's it. Once you finish off with that article, cleanse your palette and read the King of Fighters review. The King of Fighters 13 review. Something you may have remembered me getting upset about like a 10 weeks ago.

Satire guys. It's satire. It's not satire. It's borderline. It's borderline. So as that amazing Pocahontas gift says bye, bitch. Let's close this off with the P4R gaming quote. It is rumored that Penny Arcade founder Jerry Hulkin shut down the PA report because it

was funnier than Penny Arcade the comic. Oh, wow. Love you P4R gaming's bird yield. Every time I go to that website, I think I'm going to Persona 4 the Golden's website. Yeah, I was gonna say, every time you said it, I'm like, is this a Persona site? It's really weird. Have we like, have we like jerked off over the, uh, Jamais Vu, like, enough, no we haven't. Can we just do it?

Dude, we hardly even mentioned it. We didn't even talk about what we were talking about. Okay. What was zero context? Let's just continue then the jerking. Well, let's start from column A square B. So, uh, Metal Gear Solid 5 gets exclusive DLC on Sony consoles, it gets exclusive DLC on Sony platforms, Microsoft fans are like, oh, that's bullshit.

Look, the Deja Vu pack, so it's bullshit, I want that. It's nice that it's Deja Vu and Jamais Vu. Exactly. And Deja Vu is like a big PS1 send off thing. So, MGS1 like kind of remakes, remakes, it's nifty, it's really neat. And then today, which we kind of got a little bit of an MGS4, and I'm glad to go back to that kind of by a little bit, I mean, a really cool chapter of, but it's great. And then today, we hear for the Microsoft versions, they get the Jamais Vu pack for

anyone who doesn't speak French, that means never seen, as opposed to already seen. And in the Jamais Vu pack, you play as Cyborg Raiden from Revengeance, specifically, and you fight Snatchers from Snatcher, and that's it, and it's amazing, it's so cool, and now Sony fans are doing the same thing. The thud of the bottom of my desk at work, just audible across the office. You know, we were sitting on the same couch, and you just started making sounds. Yeah, that sounded, do it louder, that's it, that's what he sounded like. I can't believe it.

You couldn't believe it. Because of the Snatcher really. You play as Cyborg Raiden but Snatchers. It's such a ridiculous hypothetical, like, oh yeah, should just throw Revengeance all over it. Me and you have literally been talking about this for like almost 15 years. What, Snatcher? Wait, I haven't known you for 15 years.

No. But the link, seven years. Sure. But like, not just like the fact that we're going to throw in the fucking crazy thing that you're all obsessed with right now, but also the thing you've been waiting for at the same time. What? I know, it's awesome.

I remember, I think it was two podcasts ago, and I said, man, I hope that Xbox Exquisite stuff's better than the thing, because you know, it's cute and everything, but again, I think with Willie, it's like, you already kind of did that joke in MGS4 a little bit. And granted, it's going to be bigger and longer or whatever. But I think we said, well, the Xbox one's probably going to be like MGS2 Raiden. Yeah. I don't know. Somebody will shit like that.

The fact that, I do agree with this, like Sony fanboys, sorry, Sony ponies as you loved them. Oh man, I hate that. You mean the PS Tools, man. The PS Tools, is that it does, you know, it is kind of like, rising sold, obviously, the worst on the 360. It wasn't available on the 360 internet. In Japan, so like, I kind of like that.

And there was, the things that, you see like a NeoGaF post that's like, guys, we lost. And it's like, no, that's not done. No, everyone won. This content exists, people, in the grand scheme, these are small missions that you shouldn't get bent out of shape over, it's a little bonus, and these will probably eventually show up on each other's platform. That's what I'm saying, like I'm going to let everyone have their little like, pissy fox in the grape situations, and I'm just going to wait, because we're going to get

it eventually. And if not, I'm just going to play it at Matt's place. Totally, totally. What are you doing on March 18th? I'm going to hide my Xbox from you guys. You can't, it's too big. No, only I will play it. The situations like this, you just see post purchase rationalization, it's worse.

Yeah. And it's absolute. And we haven't even bought it yet. You know, like fucking cognitive dissonant, like, you sent me that giant post, I don't know where it came from. Yeah, no, I found all of this. It was unbelievable. No, no, I'm not sure if you get what it's from.

It's the person saying Kojima shot himself in the foot. I don't know if you guys know anything about Japan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but they should cancel this DLC for Grand Zero and apologize for, for this expo exclusive mission. The whole FF13 meltdowns. At the end of the day, I still think it's bullshit that everyone gets divided. Like, yeah, just put it on both right away.

Why isn't this, like it still sucks. Because it's money. I do like that at least companies want Metal Gear. Like, it makes me excited that the Metal Gear still has pull. Yeah. When I woke up this morning, I was going to tell you guys the story about how all one of the things I got him. Oh, this is a good story was I got a fucking gift card from my girlfriend who for Metal

Gear for $50 gift card for Xbox. Xbox. Like I saw that you have an Xbox. And I was like, oh, it's hard to take this stuff. And then I just went to the fucking shop and I'm just like, I, I, I just not a single dollar I can spend here. There is zero interest. No, it just takes me.

But Peggle 2 didn't pay for it. And I got it. And I got it. And there is nothing of remote interest in it. Well, it's getting the Crimson Dragons. Exactly. Get Peggle 2. Except no.

Why couldn't you get Assassin's Creed 4? Or that's not enough. No, because I already have the 360 version. Oh, I didn't know you bought the 360. What? I did the crazy trade-in deal. The trade-in deal. I traded in King of Fighters 12.

I got Assassin's Creed 4. And I don't want to be that huge dick. Yeah. If you're going to start playing multi-plats, there are some that are way better on one than the other. Assassin's Creed 4 is one of them. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. But like, and I'm just looking at this card. Like I have nothing. If you gave me a Nintendo Points card, I would have been like, swimming. It would have been amazing. But this... Yeah, well, it's girlfriend. You're, you suck.

Hey. Hey. Hey. But then fucking after this news, well... Hold that card on to our case. Hold that shit. What? You're going to buy a digital copy of it?

Oh, it's only digital on Next Gen. Fuck you, Konami. And fuck you for shutting down Skullgirls, too. Hey. Oh, yeah. We will shut the fuck up. We will get there when the fighting game news happens. All right, now it's a fighting game news.

Konami's a bunch of dicks. No, not doing great right now. Hey, that's awesome. That's the actual name of what I wrote on the figure. Konami are being dicks about Skullgirls. Hey, perfect. Let's get into that right now. Fine.

We're talking about it. So Mike Z, Mike Zymont, the head programmer behind Skullgirls. I love you, Mike Z. Awesome guy. Can we just get something out of the way? One of the things he said was, don't go bitch to Konami about this. Yeah. Because that's going to make them look like unprofessional assholes.

Yeah. So we're going to fucking... Everybody sit there and smolder quietly. Smolder and re-encourage Mike Z. Which will not actually work. I know. Don't Mike Zym will continue to work on this and whatever. Yeah.

But he basically, yeah, he said on a broadcast, the Salty Cupcakes broadcast they do, that Konami sends out a request to pull Skullgirls down from both digital storefronts and know, they already got the approval. They did not contact Lab Zero. They did not contact Lab Zero and they pre-approved it with Microsoft and Sony Yellowhand. What a bunch of assholes. So they had zero turnaround time to act on it and fix the situation. So it's going to go down.

Everything about Skullgirls' publishing has been a goddamn nightmare. Skullgirls is cursed. Skullgirls is cursed. It's a Skullgirls curse. So this is PSN and XBLA, but the PSN version is probably fine. Nothing will pull that. Steam is fine. Steam is fine.

And in Asia and Japan, where it's published by Marvelous AQL, and there's Cyber Front or something that's publishing it on PC in another region. Steam, and the thing is that basically the plan right now is to immediately get the Steam beta, not the Steam beta, the Squiggly version through CERT and then back onto the storefront as soon as possible. And he's totally like, we're handling the situation guys, but here's all the information. It's going down because we never even got a chance. Lab Zero deserves better.

So as I think it says in the information about this, the people have contacted Konami and there's still no response about why this is even happening. This is the exact reason why self-publishing on the newer consoles as well as on PC is such a big fucking deal. Because they self-published on Steam through Greenlight, they get to fucking decide if their game gets pulled down or not. Not Konami, not Marvelous, not anybody. This is the closest example, figuratively, to fucking Wolfgang, if you want the winch

you can have. Just throwing the girl. You mean geese, right? Sorry, geese rather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just tossing, you know, it's like, dude, you can't just be like throw the baby out with a dishwasher. We don't want it anymore.

With the dishwasher, dude. Waters, whatever. He's still recovering. You're not putting babies in dishwashers and then throwing the whole thing out. You're bathing the baby and doing the dishes and then you forget and go whoops and just toss all the shit out. It's not nice business. It's business.

Oh, thank you. Theories, why does Konami do this? Why would they even do this? Because they would get the ire of things. It's because no one handled this except for a room of lawyers and this is how business works. Does anyone know why we want this taken, why? No one knows why.

The closest thing is basically the online portion of the game uses Konami's IDs for online games. Why would it? You have to. Every company. Not like a username. I thought you meant the Konami password bullshit. No, no, no.

Every company has its own online IDs that are associated with the company, basically. And it uses theirs. And they go, is this game making us enough money to even bother with this? Is it even ours? Z-listed. I feel like what Konami's doing and what they've been doing for a little while is they're trying to get a bleeding edge focus on their brands. You'll notice they've only got three brands around now, Metal Gear, P-E-S, Castlevania,

and Metal Gear. And that's it. Don't forget Metal Gear. And I think they're just trying to get that razor focus going. And they're just tossing everything out along the way. Totally. But isn't this also because since the whole Reverge and Autumn Labs and then all fell apart and then they're like, let's do more stuff by ourselves and then is Konami's like,

no one asked us about this. What the fuck? You raised so much money. Who gave you all this money? Kickstarter? Ah! No. Cancel everything.

No, no, no. It's way less sinister than that anyway, sadder. It's just two or three guys with suits on going, eh, fuck it. And hitting a switch. Right. And signing one document. Except that this happened to be a game that people care about as opposed to one that people didn't.

Yeah. That's all. Like NanoBreaker. NanoBreaker has gotten a weird amount of play on today's podcast. That's weird. I'm trying more of that. That's four mentions. I'm trying to push NanoBreaker for SummerSlam.

Can we push No Man's Sky instead? Yes, we can. Because goddamn, I did not expect that out of Hello Games. Okay. I want to ask, I want to ask. The eyes who made Joe Danger. They made Joe Danger. I want to ask, oh wow.

I want to ask why you didn't expect that. Because how could you? Look at Joe Danger too. It's goddamn gorgeous. It's not the graphics. It's the scale. But look at it. It is so technically proficient.

It is so triple A as a... But hold on, Liam. There's a difference between polishing it up and expanding it out into a multi-universe procedure. Yeah. But listen to what I'm saying. Joe Danger is such a polished, amazing triple A thing. The first game, I wouldn't you assume their second game is going to just blow a game

off. This is usually the path Indie developers take. Well yeah. Indie developers also don't usually start with a game that wins Game of the Year awards. Sure. Which they won a bunch of awards for Joe Danger. For example, Phil Fish made Fez. Sure.

And then he was going to make Fez too. But Fez was nowhere near as amazingly proficient in every single way as Joe Danger. I should probably play Joe Danger because I've been it up pretty hard. Well, imagine... Both of them in one bundle. I love these. It's like, hey, check it out. Yo, we made...

It's life. Imagine like this. It's like we made Trials and then our next game is Destiny. Yeah. You know? You're like... But there's a huge difference there. Like, it's really amazing.

It's incredible. I know what it is. It's incredible. I thought he was most shocking that like why is this Indie kind of cool looking thing on the VGXs? Well, because it doesn't seem like something... It's not. Well, because it's...

I'm sorry, what? It's made by four people. It's totally published in a... It's super Indie. The Witcher 3 is Indie. The Witcher 3 is Indie. Well, I mean, the 360 version... Because CD Projekt publishes their own game.

Oh, okay. Yes. All right. Yeah. And this is Indie like that. And also it's made by four people. Well, to me what that demonstrates is Jeff Kealy he knows and he does care. Sorry.

Okay. I'm thinking of Indie like connotatively in terms of like, oh, it's like basically this game... This game is Indie in all the definitions. Yes. Every definition. There's no... It is made by an extremely small garage...

Four people. Four people making this game. That's... That's fucking blowing my mind right now. Which makes me worry. The reason they can do everything is because everything is procedurally generated. Like Spore? Hopefully better than Spore.

But more is also... Well, this... That's the first thing that comes to mind when you see this. Well, it's coming. Wow, this looks like what I wanted from Spore and never got. Because Spore is not great. I mean, no, there's no character creator here, so... No.

They can focus on other shit. Like Explorer creator? Because the character creator was like half of the development? Yeah. You could buy it separately. Yeah. And when did you beat Spore in like three hours? I don't know.

Something like that. But this game looks goddamn amazing. By beat, do you mean like design a walking penis? Because if so, that's how you beat Spore. Complete the game. I don't know. Whatever. Incredibly anxious to see more.

I am very excited for this game. Incredibly cautious. Well, yeah. But they left you with just few enough details. Sure. But it's just like it is such... Like they are talking about a game of such incredibly huge scope that I would be amazed if like Bungie was making it. So the fact that a four guy team is making it, I'm like, I'm not doubting that they could pull it off if it's all procedural and they do it right and all that.

I'm like, I'm more doubt that like anyone could pull it off if that makes any sense. No, I get you. And they're just being so smart. Make everything procedural. You don't have to make scale anymore. The scale is made for you. Yeah. I guess.

Like that's what... But I mean that also means it's going to be loose as fuck. But like... Sure. Like definitely the tightening is going to be the weird bit. That's always the hardest part. How much QA can they get on this? Exactly.

They talk about what the structure is. Open beta is what you do and then you call it a day. They talked briefly after the VGX about what the structure of the game is and it's really simple is they say, let's ballpark how many people are going to play this game. Like right off the bat. Let's make... Let's set the universe to a size that would accommodate that set of people for a long fucking time. Turn on the procedural generation.

Then start the game at a random point at the edge of the galaxy. And the... That's basically it. And as you discover places you can mark them on the global map. You can mark them? And people can go, oh that's... Marping. Marping.

What's a marping? You can map them. Marping sounds cool. Marping is marking things on maps. Oh damn. Nice recovery. It's a portmanteau. I did it by accident but it's actually...

You shut the fuck up. I'm a portmanteau of my parents. Just like you. Anyway. Ooh sick burn. Or you cannot but the unwritten rule or goal is get to the center of the goddamn galaxy and meet up with other people. And then go back out and find everything.

Dude when they shot through that asteroid. Yeah. That's what I've wanted all along. I remember seeing that described in text before I'd watched a trailer. You know what that is? And I went, that's bullshit. That's the spiritual successor to Geomod. Now to me the real test, the real test is if I just go fuck it, I'm chilling underwater

with these little cute little fishes. How much fun can I have just doing that of course? Yeah that's a good... Probably not very much because the game is built towards a really specific sci-fi wanderlust. Although when I go... Like chilling in the waterfall? Okay. Like finding the waterfall.

Hey. Yeah. Well... What I will say is it'd be nice if they had like... I mean obviously there's going to be a set amount of species if you will. Yeah. Because they can't procedural generate creatures because they're not Capcom. Yeah.

And it'd be nice if you had like just an encyclopedia of critters to find around the fucking galaxy. Yeah. Sure. And I also want to see if every civilization automatically becomes like tech futuristic or can we go... There's no civilization. Well like you saw like a wall with like some sort of city thing happening behind it. Yeah but you can't really...

It's probably like the spacemans. Not enough for me. Which is you. Yeah. And then ruins. See my worry is that look what you're saying is that I found the waterfall. Well you know I found and I saw a thing in Assassin's Creed 1. I couldn't do anything.

Yeah but now you can share a picture of this book. One thing that was cool about Spore was... At least one thing to do with each thing I find. One thing that was really cool about Spore was that when you find a thing, a group of people, whatever, you go back to their home and it's like what is your home going to be? It's a bunch of huts surrounded by leaves or it's like these dudes that are rocketing into the sun. And it's like you want to have that in between to really have a sense of like diversity here.

Of course. And everything you encounter in every civilization is just we're in space. It's like well... The reason I'm kind of skeptical... The planet's got to feel like a planet. The reason I'm kind of skeptical on that is because that's where the big asset creation comes in. And these are four people.

Yes. Like... But that's what I'm like how nuts are these four guys? They talk that the gameplay will... There's going to be on-ground shooting. There's going to be space battles obviously. There's going to be like gameplay other than wandering around space. Yeah.

But the thing they said they wanted to get out right out in front is people going, I want to wander around fucking space and that's all I want to do. I could give a shit if there was anything other than wandering around space. A friend of ours that played WoW obsessively for years. All she did was wander around and level up so that she could see new zones. Yeah. And talk to people. And talk to people.

Yeah. Like that wandering around thing is like I think that's the biggest reason why Skyrim got so big. I think that one of the losses is... It's like I love games that satisfy wanderlust. Absolutely. And it was smart to get out and say, hey people who are being completely unserved by most games in this respect, I'm making this game for you.

I just want to know that like I can explore the shit out of that planet and find enough interesting things before I decide to leave. I hope so. I bet it'll be less than you'd hope and more than you'd think. Figures crossed. Figures absolutely crossed. I bet you it'll be more than Mass Effect's planet missions. Yeah, for sure.

So whatever. You beat Mass Effect 1. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. Okay. Wait. Now I remember what you're talking about.

I mean away missions. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And then nothing. All the dirt and nothing. Like I'd say like how good can you drive the Jeep truck?

Not great ever. I could drive it awesome. Yeah. Ready to fight a boss? Nope. Mako kicked ass. Make a whatever. Remedy showed off bits more of Quantum Break.

It showed like one second of new footage. And the most exciting thing about this is that Sand Lake has a cool haircut again. Yeah. I had an eyebrow raised. What are you doing with the face? Where are you making the face? I had an eyebrow raised. What are you doing with the face?

Where are you making the face? Making noises. Dunno. Dunno. What's going on with this thing? I don't know. I have not enough information. To me like it's clearly a 2015 title at this point.

Like the fact that... If. If. If. If. If. Maybe. Remedy.

Remember how many times Alan Wake was supposed to come out? This is true. And then they scrapped like 80% of the game? Alan Wake was a full open world. It was going to be Deadly's Remedition. To be fair I think they've learned a lot from that. I hope so. But like the fact that they're not willing to show off a minute of gameplay and the fact

that we haven't seen anything of the TV show tells me that like it's probably not a 2014 game. Take your time. If it is 2014 it's December 31st. I've been having to work together to make a sequentially based TV show alongside your game development has this shit ton of retake and is hard to do. You know also when you think about this like Remedy's been building towards this for ever. They actually said in the video they're like this is the ultimate fusion of our Max Payne

and Alan Wake. When Microsoft is all TV TV TV and everyone was oh no. And they say hey Remedy's making a game slash TV show. I'm like that's the only developer that I would go that makes sense. Those guys know exactly what they're doing with that shit. So I hope there's like a side of the show where you play as baseball batman. Yeah I guess I just oh they're just the question lingers. Is this a thing?

Yeah. I feel like it looks not now it's not. I feel like it looks good but like it's just so far away and I'd like to see some actual substantial footage. How come when I said cyberpunk doesn't excite me that much last week for all of these same reasons you guys all jumped up my ass. Because because because what they showed is so good. Also it was an engine.

Yeah. So is the quantum break stuff. Yeah. We know quantum breaks here. We just don't know if it's going to be because the name of the game is cyberpunk. Like it's kind of like a stamp of this. Well no I'm way more interested in what cyberpunk would be than I'm ever going to be. Because usually when you see a trailer like cyberpunk it's like it ends with unreal engine

whatever. But my point was just like what Liam's saying is that it's so far away we've seen almost nothing other than like its concept and maybe a little bit of graphics and it's like almost impossible for me to get a set. But you know everything's lighting up like so hard for me. Shadowrun returns coming out pretty good with all the things against it and making me feel really good about cyberpunk. Deus Ex will probably come back and we will get more cyberpunk and then it will be cyberpunk

and Deus Ex as cyberpunk. And Barclay too. And Barclay too and the Shadowrun Returns expansion. The true sequel to Syndicate maybe. Sure. So 90s era cyberpunk did not go away because we stopped wanting it. It went away because companies thought we stopped wanting it. It went away because of GTA.

Blade Runner is radical. Yeah. Not the movie though. No not the movie. That's some problems. That's some problems. It's a little slow. You were saying something about the sales figures this week.

Yes that's correct. Well what was that? They got sales figures for the... Remember when PlayStation 4 launched in North America and it did a million? And then Xbox One launched everywhere and did a million? And how does that actually split? And the way it's split now is that 1.25 million PS4s have been sold in North America. And only about 750K Xboxes.

So yeah someone's got a huge lead. They're doing really well. In North America. In North America. And in Europe. And everywhere in the world. Also those numbers are in India. Except Australia.

Really? Australia is? Because of Xbox. Apparently you can walk in and buy an Xbox. And even though the Xbox is like I don't know 50% behind or whatever, it's still doing really really really well. Yeah absolutely. And Brazil's holding it down.

Brazil's holding it down. And then you look over your Wii U numbers. And they're real bad. It's a real shame considering this has the better volume. They're like 150K for the month worldwide I think. For the month with a game of the year. With the system seller game on it. And you're like if that game is not going to get people to buy Wii U's, Smash will do

better. But how much better could it possibly do? It's literally Mario Kart. If Mario Kart can't do it then there's no shit. I still think Smash. I'm sure. Mario Kart destroyed it. Because Mario Kart has a huge casual following and we have seen it demonstrated that they

do not necessarily follow stuff like the core fanbase. Whereas Smash has a really dedicated core fanbase. Who will buy consoles to play Smash. DG is going to buy one just. Totally. Yeah. You know but like a huge dork. Glad that they announced what they announced as far as the shit we said earlier.

Bayo X Smash. And then Fire Emblem SMT. And Fire Emblem time SMT. I don't regret buying one. But if I could only buy one I would super regret buying one. But like as sad as those numbers are I'm like I don't need peers here. I'm going to have fun. It's not about being able to go because we all have them.

We're a weird exception. It's not about being able to go yeah everybody the Wii U. It's about like man this thing is going to be the most Nintendo console for Nintendo games. Like more than the GameCube. More than the GameCube. I like it better than the GameCube. GameCube had RE4 though. But everything had RE4.

Eventually. Well RE4 was there in the first year. GameCube had Remake. Like let's be real it's been a single year. GameCube had Remake. Like it's been a single year and we've already gotten how many amazing like 9.0 games. Yeah one for 101. Wait shut the fuck up.

Wonderful 101 and Baio 2 are coming out on this thing. It's so much better than the game. Baio 2 is not out yet so we can't. I'm going to fuck. I'm going to fuck. And well it's Smash could be worse. We don't know. Might be cool.

If you said if you said to me Brawl is going to be worse than Melee. Yeah exactly. You know I don't know it's the first year and it's terrible numbers but if Nintendo gave up after a single year then they wouldn't be around for like 30 plus years. They'll never Dreamcast it. At least there's that. Yeah I don't think they're going to ditch it. They'll never be awesome with arcade games.

No I mean they'll never just go fuck it. And quit after two years. I like how our brains perfectly synced up on exactly how the game gets done. I can't think of anything that the Sega execs said but that. We're bankrupt. Fuck it. Plague sent me a picture. All this reminds me.

This should be a segment. Plague sent me a thing. And it was a picture of it looked like a Kmart which is probably impossible these days. Maybe. Or no it's a Walmart. Those exist. And it was the bottom rack of like an empty toy shelf and all you had was like the throwback Atari console release.

The throwbacks Genesis release with the built-in games. And then three Ulyas just quietly sitting there. And then right like partially obscuring it is like a toy dart gun. And like some other like random shit. The Wii U's doing bad. But it ain't no fucking Uya. The Wii U was inside E3. Okay.

When Matt and I were at E3 we couldn't even find the Uya thing. And we asked people when they said awesome truck parked in front of their booth. But they weren't allowed to park so they just had to keep driving. You have to catch up to the truck to play the games. It just did like run around the L.A. center all day. You gotta jog up to it. You gotta catch up to the ice cream truck. It's like no.

Uya's more like an STD. STD truck? You know I don't get why there's so much. It's a good but for a joke. But I don't get why there's actually so much vitriol towards it. It's the worst thing ever. Here's the thing. I didn't get that either.

And I would just play it like a joke. And then when I was at your house I saw that you had an Uya. And I said hey I'm gonna pick up that controller. It can't possibly be as oh my god this is the worst controller ever made. Controller's not great. This is the worst. Like I spent like ten minutes like two weeks ago mocking the Dreamcast. No sure.

This thing is way worse than the Dreamcast controller. All I mean is that it's like I'm surprised that you know everyone who loves video games is so supportive of indie people. But the Uya, the idea of like making an independent thing. No the idea is great but the thing is bad. But I mean you know they've said they want to improve and iterate and everyone's just like no fuck you. But now it's bad. So? But it's like you have that opinion where you hate everything.

I respect that. We gave you money and what you made was bad. Why should we leave you at that? But it wasn't bad. I've got one. I paid for it. But you love everything. The problem was they didn't get the dev support that they needed and it's a shame.

Sure. Because the machine can do what it needs to do. Yeah. But yeah. Because guess what? You can also plug any controller into it. Totally. But they just need the software.

No I agree. And that's not, there's nothing there. It's my phone is better than an Uya. Did that touch your awesome thing? Yeah it's great. Oh fuck I want to play that. I've got it. We can play it.

I think I said on one podcast. I remember hearing about it. We was going to have like some sort of emulation thing. You can play it in 64 games or whatever and I said wow that would be super useful for us. Go on. To do okay? Sure. Is that a problem?

No I mean whatever. I was playing 64 games. I thought you had the end of that sentence. Yeah. We were waiting for you to finish the sentence. Sorry. I'm saying something ridiculous. No because you just stopped saying ridiculous.

No you're totally right. It's like it'd be rad. But then it would actually be a really bad place to do that. Yo Liam what's the Tetris game called? I can't remember. Have you held it? Not yet. It's fucking awful.

It's not great. The controller. No it's awful. But you know I played Never Run in Nightmares on it and I enjoyed it. It was good. I'm going to buy that when it comes out with the full version. Fuck it plug in another one. I don't know.

But yeah it's just guys get some games. No for sure. And that's what I mean. It's a shame that everyone's just so hateful about it when they're trying to get it. It's not like they stopped trying. I think the word you're looking for is not hateful because I don't think there's a lot of hate towards Uia. I think the problem is that everyone's dismissive of the Uia.

It's worse than dismissal though because it's not just like any Uia. Dismissal is the worst. It's like any Uia that piece of shit is what people are saying. Like it's bad. Yeah no I get you. But it's just like man it's kind of a shame. What are you saying? You better try.

It doesn't matter if you try. It matters if you succeed. But they're trying and they're getting better. And there's more games coming out for it. If it becomes good then I will say good for you. You became good. For sure. It's bad.

It's bad. But it's even harder nowadays to overcome. Back when I was a teenager and I had a horrible acne pizza face I wasn't going to say oh well Pat's trying so he doesn't have a horrible acne pizza face. Like no once my head became a human like then it was like hey your head looks like a human. Sure but you didn't have 6.7 billion people on the internet calling you a piece of shit. No and my whole high school called me a piece of shit. It's super replicable.

Yeah that's my job. And it's sad and it's hurtful but you didn't make the Uia. I didn't. No. And it's nice that you care so much about everyone in the games industry. You didn't lose. You didn't lose. But for fuck's sake sure whatever.

Will their dude be an Uia too? Probably. Sure. No I can speak all the Uyo. Or Uyee. Or maybe call it the Upsi. Imagine. I like the idea.

This is what I'm talking about. I like the idea of just disnowing. I actually like the idea of just having a different spelling and it being the better one. I don't think they will because that'll change the button setup. Well they're ultra Uia. There will be an Uia too. Of course. It'll be the fucking Madcats thing.

What's that even called again? The Mojo. The Mojo. The Mojo. What's the Mojo? It's the Madcats thing. NVIDIA Shield. NVIDIA Shield.

God damn it. Madcats has their own stuff. Jesus Christ. The NVIDIA WWE tag team. So you guys are like people are okay with the shield where NVIDIA is like trying to get software for it. The Uia guys are working their butt off to get software. All right. Hey.

You can level that complaint against other people. Maybe. But. Not you. Not me. Because I fucking hate the shield. That is the ugliest shit ever. Yeah.

I tried one recently. It's not like they're just not even trying to get software on it to any decent capacity. Well the whole idea was your PC will get the software for you. Exactly. Yo. I saw an ad for it recently. Play Batman Arkham Origins through Gameway or whatever the fuck it's called. And it's like that's not a game for it.

That's not a game for the machine at all. You need a PC for that. Yo. You know who's really, really busy. Telltale games. Yeah. Too busy maybe. I don't know about this.

They could be un-busy by maybe dropping a project. Because I put Game of Thrones obviously. Yes. Because everything they're doing is making me so hype. But like I'm scared now. Everything they're doing? Well. Almost everything they're doing.

Three out of the four things they're doing. Three out of the four things they're doing is making me super hype. Totally. And like I'm just like how many, you see the waitress that's carrying way more than years? And you're like that's impressive. But. You might fucking fall. I don't know.

Because that frat boy over there is swinging his elbows around. He's not being responsible. The frat boy is, uh, Activision in this analogy. Why not? Right? Why not? Because like you're getting closer there and I'm going to get my three beers. So let's break it down for people who haven't been following.

They're doing Wolf Among Us which currently has one episode out. And it's fucking awesome. And should have the second episode out in shit. January. January. Not terribly fucking awesome. Okay. If we're going by fan schedule.

Walking Dead season two apparently should be out like tomorrow. Or it's like. The 17th. 17th? Okay. They're going to do Game of Thrones. Which is sick. Which is clearly the farthest away.

Sometime. It says 2014. Yeah. It'll be the end of 2004. And they're also going to do Tales of Borderlands. Which, which finally I can end my hunger strike. Because I wanted that. But like you were saying that I wanted that.

But really like you, like what's so wrong about it. Because it's the Borderlands universe. But it's like are you just saying you'd rather them work on a different thing? Or rather them not be working on that. That might compromise the other things I'm interested in. Like I haven't beaten the first one. I haven't played the second one at all. I think it looks fine.

But no. If you did. You would, you would be of our opinion. It's not a terrible. The Borderlands universe is not a you know. The Borderlands universe is a universe built for video game. Sure. And to say we're going to put stories and like narrative in here.

It's like what? But that's why it's kind of why I'm interested in it. The press release. The press release. I want to play Contra by Telltale. But that'll be their make or break thing. To me that'll be their like make or break thing. Where it's like we don't have to.

Can they do this weird thing? We don't have to rely on something that's popular. Only if they can promise us that they've been kicking Randy Pitchford out of the meeting room. I was going to say the other thing that made me why people are kind of about it is like man I sure hope you get all your money from Randy. I think that's going to be fine. Like it's a borderlands. It's a borderlands thing right?

No but like it's a borderlands thing right? He would give all his money. He's right. He's right. That's going to give other people's money for that. Telltale said back with Walking Dead season one that it's going to be one episode a month. That did not happen. It was one episode every month and a half.

And that was okay. But you know what man? You could live with that. Shit happens in QA. Sure. But you could totally live with that. And that's fine. But now they're doing three.

People among us is a full two months. And that should be done. And like they're going to be doing three simultaneously or maybe like two and a half simultaneously. And we're all looking forward to less jank. I don't know. Just like I was for No Man's Sky. I'm not saying I don't think they can pull it off. But it's like it does not immediately fill me with confidence right away.

It makes me excited for the projects and makes me go wow I hope that for like Walking Dead season two we don't go like a three month span without an episode. To be fair Telltale have done this before. They announced Jurassic Park back to the future and Walking Dead all at once. Oh god damn it. Yeah. So they have- But these are much more massive undertakings though.

But maybe they are. Maybe they are 50 times as much money. Yeah. So I don't know. I agree. Cautious optimism. Fry death by snoo snoo face. Yeah.

But like you know I think we're going to get a cycle of like Wolf Among Us Walking Dead two. We should do it. That's what we should get. I don't see how it can kind of get off that rotation. What I mean is that on Neogath someone said okay well we got Wolf Among Us in October. So what Telltale is telling us we should get Walking Dead in November which we didn't obviously.

Then Wolf Among Us in December. Which we're not going to get. But it's not going to be that at all. No. Sure. And I mean like worst happens what? Like Game of Thrones slips a month. Whatever.

Yeah. Now the thing is- It's fine. The games are still going to come out and they're going to be fine. My theory is that like- They do kind of want things to come out in a semi time. My theory is that the engine is just like- Can't handle this.

It's just like it's here. Whatever. Take it. Drop your IP into it. I bet. I don't totally agree. I know but I'm thinking that's probably how they're taking on more contracts behind the scenes right now.

I bet what it is is that with 400 days and then with episode one of the Wolf Among Us they said we've smoothed out a lot of the bullshit that used to be in our engine. Not all of it. Not all of it. They'll never get all of it. But we can make the same thing like twice as fast. And then you get the storyboard guys to throw a big mock up together of the chapter and you go here.

Tell your Contra story. And then I got really pissed. Just to make sure it wasn't just NeoGaff. I went to some other places and people were like it's based on the show, the Game of Thrones game. Psy. And I'm like are you fucking crazy? Who the fuck would-

Or do you think they're supposed to voice cast? Yeah. No. You would not take the show characters? Wait. But that's assuming they're even going with like- They're going with the show. They're going with the show.

They're going with the show. But I don't think they're going to get a ton of the caption. I am one of those people who I am disappointed that it's not about the books. Right. And I understand why it's not about the books. And I'm not upset, but it is disappointing. But it's not disappointing to me. The books have dramatically more content and like a more fucked up brutal tone.

But this is only happening because people have watched the show so much. That's why I'm not mad about it, but I am disappointed. But like let's be real, it wouldn't be about the books anyway. It would be different. That's what I'm trying to say. So when you guys say voices, I'm like but of the one cameo they're going to get or two? Like it's going to be a whole side story.

I'm not saying I'm sitting over here devastated. No. But I can understand why especially people that are way farther into the books and know tons of more crazy bullshit about this universe or whatever, they want it to be more about the books. A lot of those people that are mad totally think it's going to be like recreation of book one and tell tale four. And those people are crazy.

Those people are nuts. Every side story. Episode one, The Mountain. Sure. Run it. Why not? You play as a maid in Gregor Clegane's house. Oh god, that's a dark episode.

As he eats his family. Speaking of which, I forgot that Jerome Mormont plays Birkin in the Resident Evil movie. Damn it. And he turns into a tyrant. Damn it. Then turns into Birkin. No one wanted this. Why would you go back here?

Because everyone was wondering. Everyone was wondering is Matt notice. Can I get one last thing? Somebody just stopped writing their e-mail. Yeah, it stopped your e-mail. You know what else everyone was wondering? Are people really tired of Call of Duty? Yes.

Activision says no. Sales numbers say yes. No, no, but I don't believe this. It's the fault of the new consoles and the transition. Now remember. Fucking bullshit. Remember when Activision blamed the old consoles for the slow sales. That's correct.

And now that the new consoles, whose fault is it? Activision? I'm so confused. That's bullshit. You released the worst Call of Duty game since Call of Duty 3. People were already tired of the series never, ever, ever changing. Except for all the people who obsessively buy it. The thing is that when you say like slow sales or whatever, it's still number one and fucking just on top of everything.

But number two now. That's number one? Grand Theft Auto V. You mean like all time sales or what? I think we should be comparing yearly to what are we, which sales are we talking about? But yeah, yearly. GTA V fucking devastated ghosts. What are you fucking talking about? No, but GTA doesn't come out every year.

But that's not what I'm saying. Like, just Willie said it's number one. I said not this year. Like what's the big contention here? Sorry. As opposed to a week or more. I thought you meant that like how movies sometimes do. It's like, oh, GTA sold really good.

Then Call of Duty beat it. But then next month GTA then sold more. That was like number one game. Not this time. Right, right. Yeah. But no. Ever since Call of Duty 4, they've gotten a really big kick out of saying,

this is the biggest fucking entertainment launch ever. Black Ops 2. Black Ops 2, they changed the language a little bit. And then what, Yen Liam's totally right. And Grand Theft Auto said it this time. And they were super correct. And now they said, it's the huge, that's a Call of Duty. We shipped a billion dollars worth of ghosts.

Yeah. The new CEO that's sitting on the Codding Throne, Hershberg, is like the exact quote is, we've been pretty transparent all year. And that we think. Because of the challenges of the console. Because the challenges of the console transition year, that was likely in the short term.

That's bullshit. These new consoles sold more than any new consoles have ever sold ever. Plus, your game is on every console. Like, no one can not get your game. Transition. It doesn't make any sense because like, exactly, not only is it available for everything, but they have upsell deals to help people transition easier.

You literally did everything to maximize your sales and you still didn't do it. Yeah. This isn't like King Kong and Gunn, where like, King Kong came out and then months and months later, it came out on the 360. Or Gunn or whoever the fuck is shit about Gunn. Whatever.

This is no excuse now. But like, I guess it's just like, what are you gonna say to your investors? Sorry guys, we made a bad game. We made a bad game. We made a bad game. Hey, we may have driven this brand. We may have started to drive it into the ground a little harder.

We may have done the thing that we've done with other friends. Also, ignore every franchise we have totally killed in this game. That's right. Maybe, I don't know. Like, if you even hint at an investor that the brand is going down. The brand. Yeah, that's the key word. Do you understand how fucking kryptonite that is?

Yeah, for sure. But I think Call of Duty still has a good... Oh, way more than guitar hero. Call of Duty is not going to go away. It's still going to be one of the biggest things. For sure. The only thing that's different is that Halo kind of sucks now because of Halo 4 and 343.

And instead of Call of Duty. Like, remember when Call of Duty was the biggest thing, but then it got stale with Call of Duty 3? Or Call of Duty 1 and 2? World War 2. Yeah. Yeah, World War 2. But Call of Duty 1 and 2 were fucking huge.

They were nuts. Then Call of Duty 3 and people were like, that's when the World War 2 thing was just like, oh. Can we get on World War 2? And then Modern Warfare blew the doors off the industry and ruined the industry. But nobody's holding Treyarch. Right?

Right there. Right? Well, now we're looking at something similar that I think is coming with Destiny and Titanfall. Space shooter time. I was thinking of that the other day. It's called Halo is Space. But I was thinking like, we'll call of duty in the next jump.

Destiny is more space than Halo is space. Because with Black Ops 2, Call of Duty made that little kind of step forward in the future. Yeah, and it was appreciated. It was very neat. I thought it was very neat. Still didn't buy it. Black Ops 2. I mean, the one that's actually in the future.

Yeah. Just a little future. Not in the future. But it's like, I wonder, will they ever take that step forward? Still firing bullets. No lasers. No lasers. Like, I was shocked.

I talked to some people who were big Call of Duty fans who I'm not really familiar with. And I was like, how would you feel about a future one? And they're like, no, that's bullshit. I want modern war. Like, what the fuck? Why do you want modern war? Because they haven't been shown a good alternative yet.

Can't we be true with this? Yeah. Matt, a bunch of fucking Double Dragons shit happened. You want to just take this in five minutes? Go. Let's Double Dragon. Double Dragon, the Neo Geo fighting game. Which is actually a pretty interesting, if not ridiculous, fighter.

It looks good. It's going to come out in PSN as an image. Looks good. It's going to come out in PSN as an import. Like, seriously? Yeah. Awesome. Which just sucks for me because I bought like a $70 version of the PSX version of it.

Now, to clarify for everybody, because everyone's wondering out there and we got to let them know, this is not the SNES game, the Shadow Falls, that was garbage. And this is not Rage of the Dragons, which was awesome. This is loosely based on the movie. Yes. But not really. The movie that stars Iron Chef and T-1000 and Scott Wolf. But yeah, that's coming out for the PSN store.

I don't know if it's for PS4 or whatever. And it's coming to mobile. And they're releasing Double Dragon 1, the NES version, which is the version you want, on the virtual consoles. A lot of Double Dragon happening for no reason because the 25th anniversary was last year. Yeah. But you didn't get to the main thing. What was the main thing, sorry?

Way forward confirms they're making another Double Dragon game. I did not see this news. Surprise. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh God, Matt's leaking everywhere. Oh my God. A brand new Double Dragon game from Way Forward.

Another game of the year contender, again. We'll see what it is. Yeah. I'm super happy. Whatever. I'm going to ask my contacts if we afford about this. You can give me any inside dirt. So just tons of Double Dragon shit.

Hey guys, how many dragons are in it? Two. Good. Not more than that. Good. You guys did it good. Oh, and Axis is porting it to the mobile version. So hey, get excited.

They do work. Yep. Thank you. That was not even five minutes. Good job, Matt. Yep. How would you say about Double Dragon sometimes? Hey guys.

Yo, fucking Skull Kid. Skull Kid. Get hyped. Skull Kid from Smash. Skull Kid from Smash. Get hyped. No, he's an assist trophy. I'm so glad he's an assist trophy.

Why the fuck does Toon Link get to be in the game with Skull Kid? Toon Link should be a trophy. Can we have a segment called Fuck Toon Link every week? Yeah. Every week. I don't know why it bugs me so much. I love Toon Link. In everything.

I eat Toon Link in Smash. I think about him and I'm like happy, but then I think about him fighting people in Smash and I get pissed. It's a waste of a slot. But like, I don't feel like Skull Kid. And slots don't exist. What? It's so psychological.

He doesn't deserve one, but he deserves one more than Toon Link. He's just not, just something different. Even then, I don't think so. Because what does he have? He can drop the moon on you, which is almost certainly his assist trophy. And that would be his final smash. You think it's going to be it? No, it's final smash.

I think it's just to turn into the creepy bug version. I think his assist trophy is going to be like the big vision cone things on the screen. Who knows? But like, all I'm saying is I don't think he's got a good enough moveset that he should have. I don't know. He's cooler looking than Toon Link. But like, a good enough moveset? Like, let's be real.

Who do you want? Ridley or Skull Kid? Hey man. I think Ridley or Skull Kid. But like, even Ridley is really limited. Even if Skull Kid, they can do it for fucking Rob the Robot and Olimar, they can figure it out. But those characters have a certain value to them. But I'm not worried about movesets.

That's the least of my worries in a smash game. Even if you put Skull Kid in, and his moveset was like punches and kicks and spins and shit. Like, it's still more interesting than Toon Link's, which is a remix of Link's existing moves. Link's existing moves. I'd just rather not have Toon Link and have someone else. Yeah, no. Sure. But like, every time I see a new cool character, relegated to assist trophy, it's like, I'm allowed to like something.

It doesn't mean my opinion's right. My opinions can be wrong, too. I said this before, but if Little Mac is an assist trophy, that would be outrageous. If Little Mac's an assist trophy, I will not buy Smash on day one. Yeah, you will. But you will buy it on day one. No, I won't buy it on day one. I'll buy it on day two.

I'll buy it on day two. Send that symbol of not support. Yes. Send that symbol of... You know those sales data is like weekly, right? I know. I know. Nintendo suffers zero sales of Smash on day one.

Four billion on day two. But you sent them a franny pass. Yeah, you'll make a big YouTube video saying, don't buy Smash right now. This is bullshit. Buy it next week. That'll teach you. Like what? Yeah.

I sent Heartline Stance. I meant it. Oh, man. Thank you. But someone said, why all the Majora's Mask now? Because Majora's Mask 3DS is clearly in coming. Ever since Ocarina finished, it's abundantly clear that Grezzo's just been making Majora's Mask. It has to be.

Watch. Majora's Mask is going to be one of the 2014 games. Because how many 2014 3DS games can you name? Bravery default. Not by Nintendo. Sorry. Develop by Nintendo. Oh, okay.

Well, that's different. Yoshi, you get Kirby. Both of those are like Spring. Smash. Do you have Smash? Probably Monolith's game we're going to see. But like that's really limited considering how much Nintendo puts into handheld. I could go for some Assumptu comics or Arambos.

Sure. But it's been about two years. I think it's about time for Majora to come out this year. The countdown site just makes it suck. It really does, doesn't it? Yeah, for sure. You won't do that. You're on the count.

And remember the amazing countdown site just towards that remix album? That remix album. Like that remix. That was amazing. Yeah. And then the Nintendo Direct where it just ends on that note. No. No.

So good. What do you like to see about Nintendo? They start doing stuff like this. It's like they don't do it just. No, it's coming. For kicks. They do it for some. Yeah.

Hey, remember this thing? Yeah. Remember this thing? Speaking of remember this thing and it's something that Liam and I argued over like a couple of weeks ago. Some Konami rep was nice enough to go down in the NEOGAP and tell us that the PC version of Revengeance is still coming soon. It's still coming soon.

Nobody is surprised. It's still coming soon. But like what do you think happens? They just say we're making a game and it's just done? They got to work on it. Well. It's coming soon implies less than six months. And even the Konami representative admits this in saying I know it's frustrating guys,

but the answer is still nebulous. But it's like how impatient can you be? Like it's not cancelled. Incredibly. But like it's exactly, it's not cancelled. If it was up to me, games would be revealed the day before they came out. That's. Think how awesome that would be.

Zero, zero hype for them. No. I want a month. A month. I want it to go back to the days of fucking Gold Post too. No. I want it to go back to the days of magazines. Where it's out.

Yeah. Yeah. Go where you see the ad. Where you should go to the rental store and you'd be like Mega Man 3. It's already rented out. Yeah. And then you got to hide it and put it behind a copy. Yeah, exactly.

Fuck it. It's like American Gladiators. American Gladiators or romance of the three kingdoms. It's a charming notion, but we live in the real world. Three by three eyes. I don't want to live in the real world. I want to live in the real world. And when the marketing team gets a bigger credit in your game than the people that need it.

And it gets more money than you should love and taste. Yeah. Sorry guys. Oh. You'd be a big downer. Well, I'm a realist. Sure. You're the realist.

Guess what they confirmed. Who? Guess what they? No. Guess what they confirmed. You mean the lizard people? Yeah. The ones that are putting chemtrails.

They confirmed. The fluoride in our water. It's happening for reals. We're getting that live-action Titan movie. And it's... What? Are you serious? Yeah.

We're getting that live-action Titan movie. Who's he directed by? It's being helmed by a Shinji Higuchi. Now, for those of you who don't know that name... Including yourself. Yes. But I know his work. I don't know that guy.

I know his work. What'd that guy do? He did the... He's the storyboard artist for Kill La Kill. Okay. He's great. He's also known for working on the original Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Well. And it's rebuilt. Wow. So actually some hope for a Japanese movie for once. You know what? He also served as a special effects director for Godzilla movies. Are you just pointing at each other?

I'm going around the room right now. Like, here's the thing that... Dorky question. Does it say... Does it say Godzilla movies? Does it say... He was a special effects director on Gamera and Godzilla movies. No.

It just says them. They're plural. That's fine. And he worked with Studio Ghibli on the prequel to Nazca. Valley of the Wind. Geez. Door girl's not here, but that one's for her. This dude knows a thing or two about blowing up the fucking earth.

Yeah. They got the right guy. And junk things. Simultaneously, you want to protect the earth, but at the same time, the earth's got to go. Yeah. So all I'm going to say is I hope they have a fucking budget for this. Yeah. Because like, how many Japanese films do you guys watch?

Attack on Titan live action with no budget would be bad. Because like, a lot of Japanese films are just... Based on films or Japanese films? Overall. I watch them. A lot of them are rough and special effects. A ton of them. A ton of them have...

All the budget put into the vertical slice. You know, the thing that gets everyone investing and then they get... At the end of the day, it's only a Japanese studio that would be even making Attack on Titan. Oh, and I'm grateful for that. But, you know, like for example, Gachaman. And this is not going to be nearly as bad as Gachaman was. I heard some shit about Gachaman. Even the special effects in Gachaman weren't amazing.

And Attack on Titan is built on special effects. Noguchi joined screenwriter Yusuke Watanabe who worked on Gantz Movies, 20th Century Boys, Dragon Ball Z and Gachaman. He made Dragon Ball Z! Well, way to follow that one up, boy. When we go watch this at Fantasia, as we're going to do, it'll probably... If we can get tickets. It'll be the seller.

We're going to get fucking tickets. Liam, we have clout now. We can get anything we want. They didn't help. But we have more likes on our Facebook page than Fantasia does, though. That's true. And they have to give us tickets. When we're watching this at Fantasia, it's probably going to be one of the better movies at the festival.

Which is what we said about Gachaman. But it's going to suffer from Japanese movie syndrome. There's going to be a really massive plot hole that you're going to be like, Guys, come on! The Japanese movie I could think of that was based on a property that I think in the last little while was any good as Phoenix Wright. And even that was not perfect. I liked it, though.

I liked it. It was the best game-to-movie adaptation. But God, was it the most bad movie. Japanese movie ever. It was a little long. I loved it, though. But boy, was it a lot. I loved it.

It was bad. It was a bad movie. But I loved it. I like bad things. No, totally. I love bad things. One piece of information that also worries me about this is that it's slated for 2015. It's good.

Is the Attack on Titan hype going to continue in the 2015? Oh, it'll be there for sure. There's still Dragon Ball Z hype in Japan. Yeah, they'll never not be Dragon Ball Z. This means, though, that the filming starts summer 2014, which is not a lot of time. Oh, I thought you meant they started now. It's a good thing the story's already written.

That is standard for Japanese movies. It's very standard. That's actually generous. The thing I'll say is it's a good thing the story's already written. Yes. That'll save some time. But when they condense it into the film version. Because guess what?

Gachaman's story was already written, too. Oh, yeah. They've messed it up. Gachaman's story was written a long time ago. They had plenty. Yeah, Gachaman's story was written. And Cutie Honey. And how many more should it be?

We outfail. Tiger Mask. 20th Century Boys is great. Tiger Mask, exactly. Thank you. Cyber 009. I'm excited for it, but super cautiously optimistic. It'll probably be the attack on Tiger Mask.

Gachaman is still like, I'm gonna make Battle Angel. I need more time. Yeah. But that being said, holy shit, putting the right guy at the helm. Seems that way, yeah. Super, super faith in him to pull this through. Cause fucking Kill the Kill. Is it still great?

Check the box. Yep. Still great. A lot more dick-biting than Kill the Kill that I expected. Fine. But more than you'd hope. Since clear biting of penises, then I would have expected when I would start watching that show.

Sometimes it's the only option. But it's great. Yeah. Hey, they ease you into it. No, they don't. The ultimate whip of love, dude. It's a dick. Uh, news for you, Matt.

Thank you. Sure. So Daredevil. This would be a treat. Kind of news for you. Why? You love what this guy's done before. Yeah.

But Daredevil is now, I think this is the appropriate venue for it, going to be a Netflix series. Oh. And yeah. Logo. That's interesting. Yeah. They're not going ridiculous. They're not trying to blow it over the top and get evanescence on the soundtrack.

That's really promising, actually. Bring me to life, though. No, but do it, though. They got Cabin in the Woods director, Drew Goddard, to help them list projects. And he loves fucking Daredevil. And he also screenwrote Cloverfield and World War Z, which is really, really surprisingly... I feel like we talked about it right back on the first episode of the podcast. And we mentioned that World War Z should have been Total Garbage.

It was not. It was pretty good. It was pretty good, surprisingly. And that was from a fan of the book that went in knowing it wasn't going to be what I wanted. So please get excited for that. Also, possibly get excited for Mecha Rhino. Yeah. Because that's a thing.

Isn't that the ultimate design? Or am I? Like, I don't read comics. The ultimate design was something, but I'm not sure it was Mecha, but it's fine. Yeah. Spider-Man 2's trailer. We're a shit villain, like Rhino. Whatever.

Do what he was. Spider-Man 2 trailer shows off a bunch of shit. Probably too much shit. Yeah. Probably. I don't need to go see the movie anymore. Guess what? No, what I mean by too much shit isn't on the third one.

There was, like, we put too much shit in there. No. My problem now is that, yeah, we're going into the same fucking trap of three villains. Right? Possibly four if, like, the Osborn-Oscorp thing is going to go into its own. For fuck's sake, even beyond Rhino, Osborn, and... Electro. Electro.

There's a shot where Harry or the fuck it is Osborn's walking by and he walks by the fucking Dr. Octopus on. And the vulture of the vulture. Fuck's sake. The entire scene is supposed to be supposing the sinister is exact. Exactly. The idea is that the sinister scene... Oh, it's a little sinister.

You just blew the trailer for the next movie. Yeah. In this trailer. Get excited, possibly. I don't know. Get the asses in the seats. You know how it does. It's too much.

Sony really seems to, with Spider-Man and Sony, Sony Pictures is what I mean. They're really, like, more, more. Never stop. They can't stop, right? Or else they lose it, right? No, I mean, like, put more shit in the movie. Oh, yeah, that's awful. Get more fan content in there.

And it's like, no, guys, just respect the writing. Respect a character and believe that your writer can tell a story. I don't know about this one, because A, you're right, all the three characters. If we get three more backstories, Jesus Christ. And then second, it's like that first new Spider-Man movie was just so bland. A movie. No! It was just so like...

I didn't mind it. I didn't mind it. But it's just like... I didn't mind it at all. No, but that's what I mean. It was just like... That, yeah, that was a Spider-Man movie. It's just in this one, you know, the stakes have to be raised and Gwen's gotta die.

So it's like, there's so much shit that's already on the plate. Like, how are they not just gonna go straight to Spider-Man 3 territory? I can't imagine. That's Spider-Man 2. That's Spider-Man 2. Yeah. Spider-Man 2, 2. Like, oh, God, don't do it.

I wish, I really wish the way to simplify this, get people excited about it, keeping it simple. Put in Venom. Put a proper Venom. Yeah. Venom versus Spider-Man, hint at carnage at that very end of the movie, done. You have a villain that excites people. You have just that villain. Yeah.

I don't know. You can't dedicate too many movies to symbiotes. Because I love Venom. Oh, no, maybe not. But I realized that once you introduce Venom, Rhino doesn't get to be in it. Yeah, he doesn't get to be in it. Like, neither does Svulture or Doc Ock. No.

Like, you can't go down once you went to symbiotes. Yeah, that's exactly it. There's nowhere to go from there, you know? Spider-Man has such a fucking ginormous thing of villains. Like, Electro was a cool, plus, I think, like, if you hear the voiceover, Jim Foxx sounds cool in it. He's making cool speeches. Like, okay, like, I've never liked Electro.

Neither have I. The version of him from the mainframe cartoon. He should have had a big, dumb, yellow mask. No, yes, he should have. I agree. The blue version of him from the mainframe cartoon is kind of like an interesting reboot that this, plus the ultimate one, is what they're going with here. Yeah.

So it seems like fine, but unfortunately it's, like, still. He's still a guy that shoots electricity. Still fucking good, you know? What are you going to do with that? The best thing Captain Electro did. The best thing that Electro ever did was in the Foxx Spider-Man cartoon. There we go. Was sub-in for Red Skull so that Captain America could guest star on the Spider-Man cartoon.

Yeah. If Pat had his way, the Spider-Man movie would have Hydro-Man in it, but no Spider-Man. Yeah. The best thing Electro ever did was not exist in their new Spider-Man cartoon, because Shocker is cooler. Shocker is terrible. Shocker is the worst. But that's why he's cooler.

Okay, I see what he's doing. Shocker's just a dude with the hand things. And he's dumber. He's amazing. I love Shocker. Shocker and Rhino should have a spin-off movie. We need to play a new Spider-Man game because there's tons of Spider-Man villains we've never mentioned before.

There's a guy called the Revenger. What does he do? No, he's just blubbering, really? What was that? When Venom failed to save that undercover reporter from the hood, what did he become? Funeral pyre. Yes! It was just some punk that shot lasers.

What was that one Spider-Man villain? I remember from the cartoon where he could put dots on stuff. Oh, the dot. The dot, exactly. Yeah. There were little portals? Yeah, that was awesome. That's a really cool idea that was so poorly made.

He was in the cartoon. Yeah. I remember from the cartoon. And what's his face? The Hunter. The Hunter? The Revenger. The Revenger The Hunter would be a cool movie.

That's a movie. Yeah, I won't get too bad. The Revenger The Hunter went nuts trying to like, Spider-Man's in my head. I'm obsessed with him. Yeah. The Ultimate Hunt. Like, it was a cool backstory. Who do you cast for that?

Ergon Freeman. Yes. Like, I know there's some good actors out there for gravy. You cast, um, um, um, fucking Cal Drogo. Tim Allen. Cal Drogo? Tim Allen. Tim Allen.

Tim Allen. What? Spider-Man. What? What? What? What? Yo, we got some messages from sponsors.

Hold on. Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Please visit audiblepodcast.com slash bestfriends for your free audiobook download. Sounds great. Sounds like a plan. It does sound like a plan. I literally just used it right this second. What did you download?

I grabbed The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, a signature performance by Elijah Wood. Elijah Wood! 10 hours of Huckleberry Finn for free. Yo! By Elijah Wood. I would pay a million dollars for 10 hours of anything Elijah Wood. The dulcetones of Frodo in my ear. Exactly.

Today I'm going to buy some milk. You mean the dulcetones of the guy that had a death fight with Kid Macaulay Culkin? Or the death fight with, uh, Hardigan? I thought you were going to say the death fight with Willie. He was that weird yellow guy. And he's- No, he was the cannibal. That was yellow.

No, you don't know what you're talking about. Oh, with the tubes. I forgot. What you want to do, though, is you want to get your audiobooks because you can have celebrity guest readings. You never know who's going to read them. Yeah, no. That's a surprise sometimes.

And you can do them. You can listen to them while you do anything else. Absolutely. Like watching them on a movie. Like listening to our podcast. What? No, you can't do that. That doesn't make any sense.

I want to hear the voice of Morgan Friedman reading my books to me. I want that, like- Like the book that you wrote? Yes. That's the whole reason people write books. My fan fiction. Legend of Naruto X. Yes.

So then Sasuke turned into some bullshit. No, but if you- If you head to autopodcast.com and you slash best friends, again, you can check out the giant catalog. They've got tons of stuff. Tons of current stuff. Matt, you liked Catching Fire? Yeah, it was alright.

You liked it. I bet the book is better and I bet the audio book is even better than that. It certainly would have a lot more content and it would certainly be worth checking out. So, yeah, Catching Fire, of course, the second of the- It's a Hunger Games book. It's where the kids fight because they're hungry. I don't know what Hunger Games is. A Golden Hunger Games book.

Yes. So that's available now. And again, thanks to Audible for the consistent support. They got our backs. We love you, Audible. At this point, we're pretty much beyond the first couple dates right now. We're in infatuation. Soon we're gonna-

Whoa! Thanks, Audible. Thanks. Good stuff. Even I am shocked. This is Spider-Man. Dickbutt. Dickbutt is a Spider-Man villain.

It's letter time. It's letter time. It's letter time. Dickbutt was not a Spider-Man villain. Don't be a Spider-Man villain. Dickbutt is Spider-Man! No! We need to have some Dickbutt cross Spider-Man art.

If you have questions about Dickbutt, you can send them to superbestfriendcast at gmail.com. If you want to tell us about that time, Spider-Man vanquished his name on whatever art. You can send your Dickbutt mix of super best friendcast at gmail.com. And we may look at your drawing of Dickbutt and Spider-Man and go, wow, this is what I want it.

What have we got for questions this week? With great buds comes great Dick's responsibilities. We found your teams up with Dickbutt. The Dot with Dickbutt. Just sticking Dickbutt with her. He goes to see that on live. And she's like, I see your future. And she spins a lamp into Dickbutt.

The Dot, he's got Dickstick. Stick it up in the dot. And then Mysterio traps you in a world where that's all that you're surrounded by. In the Avengers 2, there's a gigantic throne and it turns around and it's not Thanos. Dickbutt with the infinite gauntlet. Drink Moxie asks.

Oh, Drink Moxie, I know that guy. Did you guys finish the podcast in time to catch Deadliest Prey? No, we didn't. But guess what? My friends, I bought the movie from the director himself. What? He sells it on his own website on a DVD.

We gotta watch that movie. I thought you went down there after and found him. No, but he has a website where you just buy the movie. So I just bought it. Sick. I watched it on Best of the Worst. It's just a little clip. Oh, we gotta watch that.

Sounds good. CJ asks. Is it CJC? No, it's just CJ. I miss CJC. Wherever he is. Are gaming magazines or magazines in general still relevant? No, they're not.

They're already dead. They are dead. With an asterisk. With an asterisk, which says poor will never die. They're still a place. Hold on a little. You gotta have something to stick your hands together.

You need content. They're still a place for a nice big fat strategy guide. A porn. They're still a place for... How to buy it or how to do it? Well written editorialized articles. You know what magazine I like? Retro.

Special team magazines that have a purpose. Who on the internet covers old games and gets interviewed. An incredibly narrow focus. Those incredibly niche ones are really good and awesome. The stuff that the one-up staff

used to put out. I forgot. I had got it. I can't remember. Right now I'm subscribed to Nintendo Force because I was so nostalgic for Nintendo Power the day it went down. They still make the stuff every month?

They're still cranking away at it. Game Informer will last forever because it's a show for GameStop and everything. Well, they pretty much made it. But the thing I discovered and everyone's discovered this is they don't get any fucking news.

I grabbed my copy of Nintendo Force and I flipped through it and there's no news in it anymore. Nintendo Power had news and Game Informer has its place because it still has news. Game Informer still gets revealed. Just like Hamitsu still gets revealed.

Here the news based one that's not funded by a big company is fucking dead. Jeremy Parrish that's his name. Dudes like him or Wrestling with Pixels guys

are putting together these projects and things like that that are here. There's a place for printed game things but it's just not the weekly magazine anymore. It's got to be niche or nothing. You've got to have a unique spin on things there. Absolutely. Did anybody else buy

the 1999 November issue of EGM that was Sonic with a giant goddamn Dreamcast symbol behind him and it was like 400 fucking pages? That's on the cover? Yeah. I remember it and I didn't have it. That thing was a goddamn fucking tome. I had the EGM

where it revealed Street Fighter 3 and it was the worst drawing of Ryu and Ken ever and they're alpha forms. They're always terrible. Fuck you. You can't even get their buck like that. I'm aware that my livelihood revolves around incredibly quickly

putting out content via the internet so I can't really in good conscience want to go back to the days but being able to get EGM and just get like 300 pages of info blasted in your head in an afternoon

That was the best. That's why I like the retro gamer thing because it puts together their best articles throughout the year and it's 300 pages. I still remember my favorite issue when Nintendo Power had Mario Kart Double Dash on the cover. It was about 200 odd pages long

and came with five posters. Five? Pokemon Ruby Sapphire Fucking Sword of Mana I can't remember the rest. But that was good. Scott asks Have you guys had your tastes influence

each other? I'd say only when we drink from the same glass. At least the bit I got. For the first year? Totally. But all of our tastes were already really close. Yeah.

And then after a while we discovered everything simultaneously. Yes. And now we hate our differences. We're all 95% there. So anything that one of us likes

and the others don't just attract everyone out. But that other 5% is really powerful sometimes. Oh it's true. Xenogir is fucking the 5% Why do you hate it? You never even played it.

Why are the Commandos a good game? It's not though. Exactly. You can admit it's not. I told you that 5% is powerful. And no one cares about Final Fight. I don't like

to relevant to Streets of Rage. You're correct. There will never be a good Predator game. There are tons of them! There were at least two on PC which is the first two AVP games. How many games have Streets of Rage characters

can't be out in? Thanks. It doesn't matter. The games are perfect. I can keep playing them. Can't you be an R? Before the Xeno franchise went? Yeah. For about 10 years

I was miserable. Because those Xeno Saga games are bad. But now... Now everyone cares. Now people are going back and playing Xeno Gears because Xeno Blade is so good. So there you go Scott.

Our Venn diagrams are all really fucking overlapped. The edges, man, do we hate each other's edges with a passion. Your edge is a motherfucker! Fuck your edge. No, it's my edge is good. Your edge is full of shit.

My edge is full of shit after fucking your mother. But here's the thing. I don't think anyone hates my edges. They don't care about my edges. Whereas your edges, you hate each other's fucking edges. Fuck your edges. I'm passive with mats except for Final Fight. Yeah. You guys should have a Final Fight.

Streets of Rage, fight off. You dress up like Hagar and you dress up like Death. I want to dress up like Adam. How much dressed up like that stupid heavy dressed up as Adam? Kingaroo. Why don't you dress up like the the cool cool guy? No, I want to be the black guy.

Adam? Yeah. Let's get another question. Jesse asks, hey guys if you had to choose what animal you'd want to cause your death what pack of animals would it be? Ooh.

Choose wisely. Single species. What do you want the newspaper to say? Man shelled by pack of Gerald Ford dead today murdered by a pack of wolves. Cats. I kind of want to say

slow lores because they're so fucking cute and I just want to see them but that's not what I would want really. No, no, I'm changing it. Not house cats, rabbits. That sounds painful. That sounds terribly painful. No, it's a bad way to go. But like, rabbits can do that? Well they did it to that guy.

But then you can say what did that guy do to those rabbits that he looked at them funny. Large black man found dead, ripped apart by a pack of Komodo dragons. Komodo dragons is awesome. Cause they can do it.

Remember that time James Bond upper-cutted that guy in the Komodo dragon pet? Yes. They'll numb this shit out of me and then pull me apart. I'd go for honey badgers. No, they'll pull you apart way before you go numb. Honey badgers is a good one. I feel confident in that. Internet billionaire Matt

killed by drop bears. Didn't see it coming. They just all waited. They just all of them. I think I'm happy with that. But for me if I have to go out horribly painfully I want to go out

in a way in which people go what? What? You revealed their secret? I got the last laugh on those rabbits. Cause then everyone else would go kill the rabbits. Kill the rabbits. There you go. Okay. I'm going to

simplify this into a single sentence. Little bit of a complicated email. Yeah. No, just straight up. Austin's like could you do it better? Probably. How would you fix VGX? Oh. Oh wow. No, but I'm saying give me one thing in one sentence.

Okay. Single concept of how you would improve it. Cut out one hour and change the co-host to someone who cares a bit more. I'd say cut out an hour. Cut out an hour and a half and don't let

anyone talk at all. Have reveals and awards and that's it. Run it like game travelers runs their top. Run it like game travelers. As bland and as dumb as this sounds

I'd say formalize it because you're not respected yet. No. No they're not. Formalize it. Make it like go nuts. Make it like the dumb stupid penguin suited Oscars or whatever and have people respect it first. Give it out there in a suit. Then have fun and go crazy.

Well my thing is what you just said but it's just getting to the root of the problem like in another way is just fire whoever thinks this needs to be made for idiots. Well it's on Spike. It's on Spike. No it wasn't. It wasn't televised. It was tonight.

Monday night. But the original broadcast was not televised. That is a big difference. They still had to make it to that spike. They cut it the fuck down. I can't wait to see the cut. So there you go Austin. No broken age.

I think I think it's something that has to do with metal gear games and else. We have the first D.I.S. awards and actual legit things. DJ Furr wants to know. DJ Furr? DJ Furr. So Furr.

Furr. I think Furr. How many letters could there be? Say hey super best friends. The subject is wooly. If you could use CQC on Pat. Oh. I wonder why you picked this question. Because the question is hey super best friends.

If all of you could learn any form of grappling martial arts. And use it on another member of the Zaibatsu. What would your signature take that be? And who would you use it on? Oh. Whatever

whatever the fuck Clark does. Whatever the fuck Ryu Hayabusa does and Izuna drops. I would do whatever the fuck Clark does. And I would do an Argentine backbreaker to wooly. And I would do a light kick version.

So that I can throw my hands out to both sides and wooly can hit me. And I can just take the hit. And then just do the Argentine backbreaker. And then do the elbow drop and everybody like I can't believe you took the hit. That's crazy. I'd do a

Barry Barry Vulcan punch like Ralph does to Pat. Because once I got a good like uppercut I could lift him up into the air. And then continue to juggle me. And do it like a sunlight yellow overdrive. I would learn Wolf Hockfield's Canadian

wrestling style. And I would giant swing Pat into wooly. And wooly would get knocked out and Pat would just walk away. And then Liam would come and give me like a bunch of oranges so I can refresh myself.

And then I'd squeeze the orange juice in your eyes and you'd go blind. That sounds good, boss. As long as you write the checks. Liam? I said like Ryu Hayabusa. And who would you attack? Everyone.

None of us attacked him in this scenario. No. Mostly Matt. Mostly Matt. Okay. This is a good one. I want to keep it quick though. Marshall asks

if you had a child would you give them freedom over the games they play? Or would you pay attention to the ESRB? I would answer this. I would pay attention. I wouldn't let them have anything like if they're under 13 years old I'm not going to give them anything that's

senseless violence and what have you. If they're 15 or 16 you know what, even younger than that. If they're around that age and they're playing Resident Evil. Stuff that's really like filmic fantasy in that kind of way as opposed to Call of Duty

or GTA. I think it depends on your kid. You will know what he can handle and how mature he is. You make a judgement call there and then you also make a decision based on the context. I have no problem with

breaking the ESRB ratings and if there's sexual references or violence in something I don't mind breaking it if the context makes sense and it's very clear that it's not glorifying this or it's not making it like it's not teaching you that this is a good

thing to do and that there's no consequence to doing it. They can play whatever they want as long as it's not a David Cage game because if it is then you're at the door. Live on the streets. Sorry kid. You failed me.

What a disappointment. It's hard to play Xbox in a dumpster. Good. Hold on. I want to change my answer. Are you awesome? No. No.

I am saying I want to change my answer to I teach him all the most violent fighting things ever so that when he was of age he'd be able to defeat me. Wait, what were you answering? ESRB

Did you change the question? I'm just not exposing to as much violence as possible. Okay, alright. That was weird. There's a lot coming up on the channel guys. There's a lot coming up on the channel. Not much actually.

We finished beyond. It's done. We are beyond beyond. Not out with a whimper but out with a squirting fart. Now I can play it. No more tears. Only quantic dreams now. Shut up.

There's more disaster coming. There's a new playthrough coming. There is a new playthrough coming. This week but it's not a playthrough yet. There will be a playthrough a couple days after. Yep. There's a bunch of shit starting this week actually. Do we want to say what the new playthrough is?

Go ahead. It's going to be Yakuza 4. I kind of expected like cheers from the microphone. Yeah. But first we got to watch all the cutscenes from the old Yakuza movies. Now are you going to air that?

Yeah. It's part zero. It's going to be good. There's multiple collabs type things happening. We're going to try this again, Pat. What?

We're going to try something again. Oh that thing! We have decided to go back to the well again with a topic that may require public apology. Yes.

We have learned literally no lessons. Yep. That one might not be this week. It might be a little later. But it's coming. Things are being worked on. And it's not super confirmed but it's

pretty much going to happen soon. But just an early thing that I pretty much confirmed with Slow Beef that the Rets Talk podcast is going to be having me on to talk to them for a bit. And

we'll see when that goes on the air. Looking forward to that. Sounds fun. Can't wait to talk to them. Cool. Good for you, Woolly. Yeah. I hope you get big and famous. Do you?

No. Thanks a lot for tuning in guys. We're going to end on this really awkward note. Hey Woolly. Hey, good luck. I hope nothing goes wrong with your big fancy break with your new podcast buddies.

You shit! Thanks for watching.