Castle Super Beast - SBFC 028: High Tension, High Stakes Brazillian Pog Butts
Episode Date: February 18, 2014Just pretend this episode description is the Punch-Out theme looped for 10 hours, followed by Lighting saying something stupid, and a fail trombone.Mail us at superbestfriendcast [at] gmail [dot] com...
Transcript
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What happened to your Pogs?
Pogs?
They don't watch by another kid.
What?
Yeah.
Did you lose them in a high stakes Pog game?
The highest stakes Pogs game I ever played.
The last one I ever played.
So damn, I don't know what happened to mine, but there was a ton of them.
You just actually lost them?
I actually lost them.
Maybe my brain fails me, but I think I made it through the end.
And I played Pogs all the time.
I don't remember how you, what is Pog, what do you do?
I don't even remember what you do.
They're milk caps.
I know, but I remember you'd slam them.
Yeah, the pile them high and then you'd use your slammer slash kenny.
Then, depending on your locale.
If you're from Woolies house or not.
But then nothing happens.
And then when they flip over, you keep the ones that flip over.
They forgot about that.
I had a Batman slammer that was cut like a shuriken.
That sounds effective.
With the Batman logo in the middle.
It made no sense.
That's cheating, man.
It's not cheating, it was legal.
No.
That shit was street legal.
The one that was cheating was the Goosebumps slammer.
Oh, it was glass.
That was glass?
Yeah, it was like an inch and a half thick.
It was like a rock.
I had that one, it was super bad.
I did not mean that.
My main one was the one with the skull.
Kind of like a Punisher skull, actually.
Right, they always had those generic type of designs.
But have you seen the Brazilian Pogs?
That's the question.
What even is that?
They got neon lights underneath them and they got hydraulics.
And giant asses on the Pogs.
That means that the Pogs come with toxoplasmosis.
No, I don't think so.
You buy a set for the kid and he's got like 20 asses, that's a set.
And he's pouring out his Brazillos and a couple Pogs come out
and just butts in his cereal.
More people need to know about toxoplasmosis.
Toxoplasmosis is fucking nuts.
It's obsessed.
It's not great.
And especially when it applies to your Pogs.
Oh, man.
I knew that kid that hung out behind the tree
that had all the slammers and he'd be like,
yo, what you want?
Wait, wait, wait.
I just opened up his coat.
Leo, are you serious?
You know what toxoplasmosis is?
Not in the context of Pogs.
Well, it could be on a Pog.
It could be on a Pog.
You can get toxoplasmosis on anything.
Absolutely.
You get a stupid, crazy, big, sexy Pog.
That's what it does to your Pogs.
Then it makes you date women.
Apparently.
That's what toxoplasmosis does.
It's weird.
And it applies every...
Cat-based brain parasites.
It's terrifying.
And it happens in some continents more than others
and it's weird.
That would explain what would happen to Schwarzenegger
in the 80s when he went to Rio.
He just ate a whole cat and got toxoplasmosis?
Yeah.
That's possibly the best way to get it.
Was the cat full of it inside?
Well, if you eat all the cat,
there's probably some parasite in there.
Was it a sexy cat then?
Yeah, probably.
Schwarzenegger's like, I love you didn't pussy it.
Not bad.
Episode 28 of the Friendcast.
What's up, guys?
Not much.
Not much really.
I don't have toxoplasmosis, I'll tell you what.
That's a good week.
I sure didn't contract any weird parasites.
And a check mark for Sunday.
Yeah.
Made it a whole week, no parasites.
Alright.
So I can put up a front and pretend to go around the table,
but no one had a more interesting week than Liam.
Oh, it's true.
One quick thing, shit, I'm two weeks late on this,
but we've been doing this for half a year, damn it.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Wow, I didn't think of that.
Oh my shit.
I remember the good old days.
So for context, for people that live out in the shacks,
Valentine's Day was last week.
Valentine's Day happened.
Yeah.
I was on the 14th.
You tend to spend that.
Usually every year, usually.
Every year, love to people.
Matt is holding an adorable frog that has a heart
when they're on it right now.
A frog that's delicious, he also has a lazy eye.
You can't see it, but whatever.
It's lazy as fuck.
Trust me.
You can't see it in the podcast.
Sure, yeah, I know.
We already did.
Whatever.
I don't think he appreciates the fact
that the heart is stitched permanently to his hands.
I have to love you.
That motherfucker lives for Valentine's Day.
In three months, he's going to die.
So my girlfriend went away to Paris in early January
for school.
She's gone for six months, and it fucking sucks.
That's a rough one.
Great.
So I was like, damn, I want to do a Valentine's thing.
So I talked to her, and I'm like, hey, for Valentine's weekend,
don't make any plans.
I'm going to take the day off on Friday.
We're going to do a whole bunch of shit on Skype.
I'm going to go to a bunch of places.
I'm not going to spoil where, but we're going to go all over
and do a bunch of stupid romantic shit.
A fun adventure.
Yeah.
That sounds super lame.
And I'm mailing you a package that is going to get courier to you
on the Friday morning, and it's going to have all the stuff you need.
And it's going to be flowers and shit.
And she's like, no, you've got to come.
And I'm like, no, I can either go to Japan with you later this year
or to France.
And frankly, I want to go to Japan more than France.
So sick burn Valentine's.
That was out of the question.
So Valentine's Day comes around.
Suck it, Paris.
And my girlfriend gets a knock on the door when the package is bound to arrive,
and she answers the courier.
But there's no courier.
It's me in France.
And you have a different kind of package for her.
Oh, you can box.
There was no box.
Did you put a bow on your head like I suggested?
No, no.
Because then fuck off.
But I remember talking to you in the set up and you were panicking
because you only had a certain amount of time to get there.
If you wanted to get flowers.
And in the process, discovered that there's a flower shop directly across the street.
And an heiress is there, just picking it up.
Handing him out for free.
So I get there a bunch of hours early, and I go get the flowers,
and I'm waiting around.
And then I go to her apartment half an hour early.
And I'm like, man, I hope she had something in the morning.
And I get there half an hour early.
And I'm like, I hope she's here.
I knock on the door.
I wait a little bit.
And she answers.
And I'm like, oh, she's here.
She later explains that she slept through her alarm and didn't do her thing at all.
So I totally went earlier.
But that was the safest strategy.
It went in Paris.
Exactly.
You did as many steps as you could to make the Iranian who's safe and happenable.
Because the quote-unquote more romantic one is to show the fuck up with no prayer.
Exactly.
What if she went out for breakfast the whole day?
Totally.
In Europe, people eat breakfast all day.
I had as much breakfast.
This weekend is going to take a while to fit down here.
But I had a super good time.
I was initially thinking we would just hang out and order out and just do little things
and see a movie or whatever.
But we ended up going all over.
I saw the Louvre.
I went to a bunch of super expensive apps.
Are people in France rude?
I only noticed that for a couple waiters.
Yeah, rude French waiter.
They should be rude though.
If you're surprised that they weren't.
They're not to be rude.
How's the smoking situation?
There's a bunch of it.
Shocking.
Pretty much as shocking.
Not as much as here though, which surprised me.
Did they make?
Well, no, we live in Montreal.
Exactly.
I like how Shane smoking is a fucking Olympic sport.
That night on my Facebook, I see a picture pop up and it's Liam and his girl with the
Eiffel Tower all lit up in the background.
The text is just like, Liam's like, maybe this is France.
I don't know.
I was just like, nah, pretty sure that's Toronto.
Pretty sure you took a cardboard cut out of France and put it behind you guys.
And a fake girlfriend as well.
This image was shot.
I would know.
I've seen quite a few in my day.
I can tell by the baguettes.
But yeah, it was super fun.
The Louvre is fucking gigantic.
Way bigger than I expected.
I spent like three hours there and saw like maybe 5% tops.
Huge.
I'd love to see that someday.
I learned about it due to the JoJo book all about the Louvre.
Oh, right.
I forgot that was a saying ever.
Kishibeke Ryoan.
One of his artist characters from JoJo just has a book where he goes to the Louvre.
Just cause.
Just cause.
And he has an adventure.
The Eiffel Tower is way bigger than I thought it was.
I don't mean height-wise.
I've been up the CN Tower, which I'm pretty sure is higher than Eiffel Tower by a good bit.
But the Eiffel Tower is huge.
Someone did not play Onamusha 3.
No, I didn't.
Or the Saboteur.
I played the Saboteur.
Oh, did you?
Wow, that's fucked up.
It should be the reverse.
I know.
The difference is the Saboteur was $1.
True fair enough.
Sounds about right.
I guess when they built it, like 20,000 years ago, they were like, how do we build a tall
tower?
That's what America built just for them.
Not accurate timeline.
Not accurate timeline.
But I guess they had to make a gigantic metal base for it.
It was fucking huge.
When you went up there where you were just like, yo, Tokyo Tower, use a bitch.
Couldn't go up there.
You want to take a guess of why it couldn't go up there.
You're always exploding.
Tokyo Tower.
No, take another guess as to why it couldn't go up there.
Too many people have sex on the tower.
Fucking Valentine's weekend.
Oh my gosh.
Which all of what Pat said basically.
Yeah, I presume that's the busiest weekend ever.
Everybody getting busy on the tower.
Yes.
No.
Spinding spots.
Don't stand underneath that.
No.
Umbrellas are advisable.
The line went on.
Oh, it's raining really intermittently.
The rain in Paris is the different consistency.
It's not like back home.
Do rats make your food?
No, I didn't.
That's bullshit, guys said.
I didn't.
As he spat his rat into you.
What I was going to say is I didn't see into the kitchen.
Yeah.
So maybe.
Maybe.
But you know, no.
These are confirming Nords and I.
I find the weirdest thing when people from Japan go to Paris and they get nervous breakdowns
because Paris sucks.
It doesn't live up to the crazy French fetish.
I heard about that so very weekend.
And I saw a lot of Japanese people in France.
Yeah, man.
It's nuts.
And like as everyone is expected to be wearing the.
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Oh boy.
Oh wait the thing to he's said.
Of the sword is.
The sword is shooting out of his chest.
Like like in part 1.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
I love that.
No totally.
That's my favorite part.
You're choosing how to like dash through the guys back and forth.
Yeah.
But I just like the part where you can break through.
Literally like a super Nintendo game.
Oh yes.
You're skipping frames too quickly and you're, no no no.
Yeah the hoo-ha-hoo-ha like thing.
You can totally go nuts with that.
Cool.
And it even has a little and it even has a little bit so it's like if you stand still
in early you do the stance from Strider originally like in the first games where he's got the
sword behind his back and stuff all.
A little pose.
But when you and when you're running he's doing the cool ninja running pose but if
you stand at an edge he goes into the Strider 2 stance where he's got the arms crossed.
Oh cool.
He's standing still with the scarf blowing.
Yeah.
That's a really nice detail.
So attention to detail.
Does the scarf blow differently in outdoor environments?
I'm really curious.
The scarf moves everywhere according to the way you move.
The scarf has its own.
It's secondary animation.
Yeah but I was wondering if it was environmental or your movement.
No it's totally your movement.
Okay cool.
And like as you switch different ciphers and switches colors it's all this stuff.
So yeah no fucking sick.
It's cool.
Nice nice.
Yeah and then that comes out today.
Oh yeah yeah so check that out.
Strider's super sick.
There's a demo out on PS4 today.
There you go.
There you go.
And yeah the only other thing I did with my notes with my week is going through death
note showing real friend death note.
Really yeah because I read it and I really like death note and I wanted to share that
because you know it's cool like mental battle two guys doing that thing.
It's fun yeah.
Yeah going through that.
Like nowadays like I really love death note when it came out but when I think about it
now I'm like man death note's lame.
No it's not lame.
It's not lame as in bad.
Lame like oh man remember death note.
I'm gonna take that chip and eat it.
Yeah that's like why does that stand out for me and all.
That's the only thing I know about death note.
Because that was a gift.
And no I don't know.
From the gift.
I know from the YouTube.
That's what.
When I saw the episode originally and plus like they ruined Castlevania.
I guess.
But here's the thing.
Like I read it first.
And I never finished the show.
Like I'm going through the show and some of it's new to me and I only made it a few
episodes in originally.
But after reading the whole thing I'm like yeah this is great.
Movies were fun though.
This dumb live action movie.
The live action.
Yeah there were those.
You really like Smugioba and Takashiobasa right?
Yeah man.
Karinogo is good shit.
Yeah exactly.
You should read Bakuman after.
Okay.
It's about like.
You're not the first person to recommend it.
As far as authors.
Yeah they make a manga.
Absolutely.
It's really fun.
It's a manga about a manga.
It's really good.
That's too meta.
I know.
And I want to take a second to actually plug something.
I've been going back through Vables where I left off.
Because I never made it all the way through.
So you know more than a few volumes in.
And it's fucking amazing.
Of course Vables is great.
Everyone knows that.
But I'm reading it on my phone with the official like DC Comics app.
Right.
And it's actually really interesting how they have it set up.
Because you'd think you'd spend a lot of time.
Why are you going for your phone?
Because it's always on me.
It's so much easier all the time.
Yeah no I just mean like screen wise.
Like it's very small.
Exactly.
And I thought this would be garbage to scroll a giant.
What were you going to say?
Exactly.
So like this would be garbage to scroll and pinch to see what's being said.
They totally figured it out by having the panel by panel isolation.
Where your eye should travel.
And so you press slide and it goes from one panel to the next.
And at the end of going through all those it zooms out and shows you the full page.
So it even makes the comic better in a way.
Because you know how sometimes your eye sees things you don't want to see in advance.
You pull open the spread.
And on the right side is a full page action shot.
And on the left page is all set up.
Exactly.
And you try.
There you go.
I know that character is dead in front of the dialogue.
Exactly.
So you totally avoid that problem with the isolated as the eye should travel.
Comics should do that.
The panel.
I feel like that's not like a given that it will improve everything but that's cool.
But it's definitely like it's convenient.
And the fact that it does that I'm enjoying it.
And yeah that's cool.
The orientation goes immediately according to how you orient your phone.
Of course.
And it's to the point where I've gone a couple volumes in.
And now I'm actually just buying them off of the DC website.
Like that.
Like 99 cents.
No.
Well I mean it depends going back to the older volumes are cheaper.
Newer volumes of this are almost the same price as print.
But it's a pretty convenient way to read it.
So that's not as shit as I thought.
And in fact it's really good.
I don't know what it is but I like that's that's all cool.
That sounds but I would never like there's just something about it where.
Oh fables.
I went out and bought the hardcover fables just because like I yeah I always want it in
my hands.
And I know it's like like it's huge.
It's clunky.
It's big.
But there's something about it where I'm like I don't like receiving the content that
way.
But there's no reason not for me not to like but I'm the kind of guy where like if I like
it I'll go and buy that after reading it like wanted or ultimates.
I went and bought the hardcover and then just never open it because I have the individuals
I read it first and saw in paperback form.
But yeah.
How was your week dude?
Has anyone ever said this before I didn't really play any video game.
I guess maybe you didn't but you must have during your fucking airplane ride.
The flights I got to play a lot of video games.
Yeah I don't really play any video games but I watched a bunch of stuff and one which was
crushingly disappointing and one which was hype as fuck.
Now I think you might know really which one and that's hype.
Just fucking say it.
Keep going.
Luther.
Luther.
Luther.
Luther's great.
Me and Lay started watching Luther and I watched the first episode by myself and I was like
eh it's alright pretty good you know the writing whatever.
There's something about it but then like in very quick order I'm like holy shit Luther.
What are you gonna do?
Something about it is Idris Elba's overwhelming personal charisma.
And we're both?
And when he's not held back by having to do an American accent.
Dude his accent is so strong.
It is difficult to understand his boy.
But when he's not spending endurance points on making a fake accent he can put those extra points into acting.
You're totally right and I recognize that because I just started re-watching the wire
and there are moments in which he is coming apart.
There are moments in which he's just the North.
He's starting to tumble out.
He goes softer to make it a more dramatic way.
Yeah pretty much because he doesn't want to slip back.
What was disappointing man?
The Luther was hype as fuck and one thing we were gonna say is that we're both watching it.
And we're like take off your shirt already Luther.
So in the one scene I think it's like when season two starts and we're like yes!
Anyway yeah.
Crushingly disappointing escape plan with Schwarzenegger and Stallone.
Oh no really?
And this is like it seems like Liam Neeson said this precedent that you can just put some random movie out there
that's funded by a bunch of and it just blows up.
Like Taken blew the fuck up.
Taken's really good.
Taken's really good though and I think it's like they're trying to do this thing.
So escape plan for those of us.
No it's Schwarzenegger and Stallone stuck in a high security prison.
Not unlike the one from Face Off.
And Fat Shanks' head disapprovingly.
I've never seen even like any of this.
And Liam just did the Face Off.
I've seen like three scenes from Face Off and I think they're all the worst three scenes.
You mean the best anyway.
That white face thing is the worst.
The most limped non-no action.
Flaccid.
The only person that seems to be having any fun in Schwarzenegger but he doesn't really get a lot to do.
He does one hype thing at the end where I was like all cool.
He does it for all about 30 seconds.
What's the deal with like throwing two high profile actors together and just getting nothing out of it?
Money.
They're tired and they're doing it for the paycheck.
Yeah.
Remember Righteous Kill?
Righteous Kill holy shit.
I remember Righteous Kill being the moments like oh yeah they just want money and it's over for you.
That's like the first time since Heat that these two giants come together.
And in Heat they had one single scene together.
One scene together.
It was good.
And here you get this fucking lame-ass shit where at the end continued success.
Yeah.
So escape plan was just really had a bad story.
Like complicated.
Like I don't fucking care.
Like if you're not like prison break was more entertaining to me.
Sort of an episode of prison break where I was like this is really interesting what's going to happen.
Escape plan I didn't fucking care at all.
And I watched the Lego movie again.
Oh yeah.
Everything is awesome.
Everything was super awesome.
And interestingly enough Robocop third of making money this weekend.
Lego movie still on top.
Yeah.
Dipped like 20% which is nothing.
Dude the Lego movie game is on top right now in certain territories.
They always are.
So none of us have seen Lego.
Sorry none of us have seen Robocop yet.
Yeah we just didn't make the plans.
We still got to go see it just so we can actually.
I've already made different plans to go see Robocop.
I'll go buy the ticket dammit.
All right.
Fuck it I'll cancel.
Good on him Lou.
Well okay we'll see but other than that packing up all my stuff obviously you guys can see
I have a bunch of boxes with all my precious things.
You're moving into New York it'll be nice.
I'm moving into the big city and I guess you guys have quite a bit to travel to come to do the podcast on my place.
Yeah.
Did you did you decide where you're going to hide all the bags of dookie when you leave?
No not yet.
No I missed something.
You got to take your kitty litter and just leave special surprises for everybody.
I know.
Hey you know what man good thing you're fucking moving because when I came up here and saw that
notice posted on your elevator I just looked at that and said that's bullshit.
Which what was the notice?
This building is losing fucking coin operated washing machines.
This is going to a god damn card based debit system.
Which hashes better.
No way that's the worst.
That happened in my building and I hated it for the first couple months and then eventually
I was like a god damn coin into a washing machine.
No because the coins whip you off.
And also if there's no change in the machine.
Depending on the machine maybe it varies but my old place was card and I loved it when I go here I'm like I don't have the fucking change.
Finding change becomes a pain.
Oh my place it's two bucks.
Exactly.
But you don't always have two dollars.
There's a machine right next to it.
It'll take my twenty.
This place and other places don't have that.
That's a huge problem.
That's bullshit.
And to wash is to this is a dumb conversation.
Are you going to get a washer and dryer?
My place comes.
My new place comes with a washer and dryer.
Can I use it to do my laundry?
You cannot.
And a garceau to do it for you.
Yeah kind of.
A big boy getting his own washer and dryer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Welcome.
So other than that what the fuck happened this week Wally?
I told you I did my thing.
What the fuck happened in general in this week?
Well in life.
We're just going to skip me again.
Oh my god.
It's just that you.
I'm like shooting you throwing.
And you're getting uppity about it too.
It's just that you constantly interrupt people so I think that you've had your spot.
So the irony is I did almost nothing.
I only did two things this week.
I played a shit ton of Bravely Default.
And I had a nervous breakdown and cleaned everything out of my house.
Did you reach the bit in Bravely Default where it kind of shits itself?
No.
I reached the part where it's really good.
And you kept telling me that Bravely Default is going to shit itself.
I hate the fact that you are so strong.
He plays ahead of all of us in all the good games.
And then tells us this by the way is going to suck really bad.
Like tomorrow.
Let's talk about this when most of us get there.
How about that?
Because they're just talking in circles.
Sure.
Sure.
Right?
Enjoy it while you play.
The garbage mountain no longer exists.
Hey.
That table that I keep for bullshit in my apartment is now actually a table once more.
Wow.
You can eat off of it.
Which you would eat off of it.
Is there a place to put coats?
Yeah.
I moved all the coats off their chairs.
Okay.
That whole area.
Oh god.
I can have to explain it.
So I have a dining room table that I just would dump everything on including four coats.
I don't know why I have so many coats.
I've only seen one coat.
I was talking.
No.
There's four.
I've only ever seen you wear one.
I know.
That's why I'm confused.
I am also confused.
I just refuse to throw them out.
But it's clean now.
The house is clean.
Sure.
And the closet's full of like green shirts.
Right?
No.
Okay.
No.
Those.
Babies now.
I have two green shirts and they're all the way at the back.
Hey.
Speaking of which.
What was the other addition to your family?
Oh.
I totally forgot.
So in terms of cleaning that up after I had cleaned it up, anyone who's seen the last
mail bag report up, I got two babies.
One of which is super creepy and realistic.
It's name is Ashley.
Baby Ashley.
Wait, wait, wait.
Did you name it Ashley?
No.
It came with a fake birth certificate.
Oh, few.
And this is a hyper realistic like replacement baby, I guess.
If you're a crazy lady.
And it smells like a baby.
Like I didn't notice this one.
How do you get that?
I don't know.
I douse it in baby powder.
It literally smells like diaper and baby powder and like, but not just that.
It smells like baby and super freaky.
You know what?
There's an episode of How It's Made where they're like, they marinate the baby plastic
in baby powder for three days.
It has like a robotic breathing thing.
So like if you're baby crazy, this will see.
Here's how sinister it is on the baby crazy logic.
You hit a button at the back of its neck to make it breathe, right?
It will breathe any amount of between 16 to 20 breaths says the instructions.
Depending on how many you want.
No, it'll be random.
So you have to pay attention to the baby so you can hit it to keep it breathing because
you have to take it.
It's fucking nuts.
So it's super creepy.
So as a super creepy object, I have put it at the top of my bookcase so that when people
come in, it's above your eye level so you don't quite see it right away.
But when you sit down out on my couch, if at any point your eye wanders, all of a sudden,
particularly at night with the lighting because it's above my lights and my lamps, it looks
like there is a real baby just chilling on my bookcase and it looks creepy as hell.
And it has already done a really good job of scaring the shit out of people coming
into my home.
Did you frame Ashley's birth certificate?
I did not.
It is sitting next to Finn from Adventure Time.
Suitable.
Your other baby.
Yeah.
It is super.
It's so creepy.
It's also good if it might make people that are trying to steal stuff.
Criminals going, nah, let's get out of here.
You gotta answer the door for pizza with the baby.
Just drop pizza all over.
No, you ask the guy, can I see the pizza?
Just make sure and then you just, that was the baby's head into the pizza.
Oh yeah.
You did this.
Infinite usage.
Yeah.
No, I had to make my home safe and clean for Ashley.
For the baby.
For baby Ashley.
Alright.
This is an interesting new chapter of your life.
And I got in contact with the guy who sent me that fucking thing and found out why.
He ordered some dumb doily for his grandma and they sent him like a $300 real doll baby.
And he goes, oh, oh, gross.
Oh, give it to Pat.
Yeah.
And now Pat loves it.
Welcome to parenting.
I will take care of it, not at all.
Parenting with Pat should be a thing.
Just shove it in the corner.
Ignore it.
Ignore it.
If you accidentally remember it, ignore it harder.
Feed it pizza.
Every couple weeks, take it down, dust it off, put it back up.
Yeah.
So anyway.
Anyway.
Couple things going on this week.
Quite a few things.
Lots of stuff.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Wow.
So I came home and I got so excited when I saw that.
And I didn't see that woolly posted about little Mac being in smash.
I would just call it a post.
It's a keyboard punch.
Yeah.
It was a keyboard punch.
Yeah.
I was actually trying to dodge and weave my keyboard.
Where were you?
I was at home and then my phone rang and then my Facebook lit up.
And then your text came in and then everything.
Your phone literally rang.
My phone rang.
Who called you?
It was me.
No.
Yeah.
No.
I texted you the minute it rang.
And then everything started coming from everywhere.
And I'm like.
And then I look and I see and then just losing shit.
I am so glad I watched that direct live.
Yeah.
Me too.
I'm so disappointed I didn't.
I came home right away.
It was really great because it was right at the beginning.
It was the first thing.
And then the ending of the direct as well.
Yeah.
Here's the thing.
And the smash logo comes up.
It's like.
Oh, a new character.
That's the character I wanted.
Yeah.
But it's also with a new style of cut scene that they're showing off.
Well, they've been doing like different ones.
Yeah.
And they've got that whole thing going.
And it's not just the fact that it's the fucking best edition ever.
But it's.
It's a little Mac that has something from every game.
He has the power meter from Super Punch out.
Yeah.
He looks like the Wii Mac.
And he's got like a.
An execution of the character.
He looks like a fighting game character.
It's exactly.
Exactly.
It looks like Steve Foxx doubly combined into little Mac.
There's five potential moves for him.
Right.
And we all knew it.
And they just put all five in.
And then you just make him a powerhouse on the ground.
And he sucks in the air.
And he probably has a very low range.
So you gotta know what the fuck you're doing.
You know?
And I'm like, I love that.
It's almost as if you're like, you have a boxing guard.
It's these shots of characters with projectile spam.
And he is just watching.
Or going under.
Underneath or over fireballs with these giant lunging punches.
He's got a cross counter.
He's got.
He's got punches from like Vanessa and Rick Strauss.
Absolutely blasting through what you're doing.
Oh, that's great.
Man.
Oh, man.
Like, like there is a character you wanted.
Let us show you how hard we nailed it.
Yeah.
That's better than little Mack now.
I think is the shipping of little Mack and Samus.
I love every single picture.
I don't know what it is.
Because the one with snake was like, yeah, all right,
they're the two humans.
The snake was already like, you know,
but the idea of like now Samus is like,
no, this little short guy is cute.
And little Mack went, no, I'm a cool guy.
I think it's the boss.
That's awesome.
And dude, the fact that his stage is like the ring.
They never changed the logo.
No, it is.
They changed the logo and the rings and now it says WVBA.
Okay, fine then.
It's a state.
It was a truck house.
Because it wasn't before.
Because they didn't show anything.
Because before it was generic Raymond.
It was all from the logo.
No, no, but it had a really funny Smash Bros. name.
It was like a generic Smash Bros. stage.
But it had a good name to it.
But now they just switched.
Okay, if it's now the WVBA then yeah.
You know, the shot of Animal Crossing guy with the...
The villager.
With the villager with the boxing gloves means there's going to be no little Mack or whatever.
Yeah.
The fact that that boxing ring stage has a nice big ground means...
Is that the new final destination?
He's going to be amazing on his stage.
No, final destination is a new final destination.
No, come on.
Like, little Mack on his own stage is going to be fantastic.
It's a ring for fuck's sake.
Because he should be pretty good at tough time around the corner.
But a lot of ground is a good thing.
Maybe you bounce off the crowd and it doesn't really count as ground.
I have a feeling he'll suffer in stages with lots of platforms.
It might just be a stage like Game & Watch.
You have a ground and then every other boundary is death.
It might just be that.
That's what it is.
There's the ground and then there's the ring and then there's...
And there's no pit to drop.
So yeah, that's the kind of stage he'd totally be really good at.
Is there anything else to get hyped for?
I was on that fucking Bayonetta 2 trailer.
I was on the bus when it happened, on the way.
Just getting 3G and like, this Nintendo, I hope it's worthwhile.
It opens with little Mack and I'm on the bus.
I'm like, yo!
And everyone in the bus is just looking out loud.
And you just show them.
You go, no look!
Look!
You start singing.
And the bus driver starts singing and it goes downhill from there.
You're no air fighter, Mack.
The Japanese trailer is way more hyped.
Oh, he did?
Yeah, the Japanese...
Like, little Mack, countdown punch!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's way more hyped for him.
And when he's, it feels more Ippo-like, I guess.
It does, it does.
It's when he's doing the jabs in mid-air and the onomatopoeia are appearing.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, yeah, okay, cool Japanese guy.
So we just want to go around and like, what did you like about the Nintendo Direct?
Yeah, well, I mean beyond, beyond that stuff, beyond that all I liked was Beyo.
I mean, like, there's things, like, there's actually a lot of shit to go through this week.
But I think the highlights, which would be obviously little fucking Mack.
Beyanetta, holy shit.
Which shows that that kid is probably playable.
Which I don't know whether or not to be nervous about it or not.
I like that because I like his design.
Yeah, but see, you never played as Sherry in Resident Evil 2.
Okay, but no, but after seeing-
No, he did.
Oh, Sherry, yeah.
I did.
After seeing, what's his name?
Fucking Carlos or whatever.
From the revenge-
How hype was Luca?
Georgie or whatever.
What was his name?
George.
The worst.
The worst, right?
I see this kid and he looks kind of cool.
No, but I can't gameplay-wise.
Oh, but I don't want to have a sequence in Bayo 2 in which I'm a helpless little character.
Okay, so-
And I don't get to do-
Yeah, that sequence sucks.
It's the one bad part of Bayo 1.
But do you think Platinum's gonna fuck that up when you see-
They fucked up George.
They fucked up George.
Yeah, but he didn't play as him.
And they also fucked up that Sareza escort sequence.
It's terrible.
Yeah.
So you see-
It's gonna be fine.
You see him running from a thing.
He might be just, like, a running kid.
Like, he might be just-
Oh, it'll be a Sonic stage.
Sonic stage.
Sonic stage, sure, yeah.
But also-
Johnny Truck chasing him.
But now you get to think about the possibility of three playable characters.
Well, Jen's probably not gonna be playable for most of the game.
But she'll be there eventually, I guess.
But the crux of the story is the Jen's at a commission.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know, you have to go save her.
I get that, but the point is she'll be an unlock for sure.
Oh, totally.
Right?
But she won't-
And it's not gonna be like-
Maybe Rodin playable?
No.
You're asking too much, yeah.
Did you guys see that extra video?
The one that was on the Japanese site?
Yeah.
That was just pure gameplay?
No.
What?
I did not.
I did not hear that.
It was the good one.
It was the one that shows that frog.
Okay, you just show it to me after this.
Okay, wow.
Because, like, it was like-
Yeah.
Because you could see the trailer and this gameplay in 60 frames per second.
And it just shows unedited gameplay with no trailer cuts or anything.
Nice.
Of Bayo.
It's, like, maybe, like, what, 30 seconds long?
Sure.
I don't know, man.
I think Bayo 2 and E3 and all my fears were gone.
So, all, like, kind of, like, when a trailer comes out,
well, yeah, I'll watch that.
But I'm not, like, doing the scrounge-
Yeah.
That I did with, say, Bayo 1.
Yeah, but-
But giant frog, though.
Yeah, okay.
I keep forgetting about that thing at the end of the trailers.
It was just, like, only on Wii U.
Wow.
Yeah.
You mean the original one?
It wasn't on this one.
It was on this one.
It was on this one.
I wanted to watch the trailer while it was live.
Okay.
So, I watched it.
Yeah, it was on this one.
I see that.
I'm, like, every time.
How many dudes are getting so buttered?
I love it.
That's so not Nintendo, though.
That's platinum.
I know.
Nintendo probably told them not to do that.
No, don't.
Don't put it in.
Nintendo did it on all their videos at E3.
And it was a different sound effect for each game.
And it just so happens that Bayo 2 is the mwah.
Yeah, okay.
So, it's just even more under their asses, man.
Um, I really like the, uh, the gameplay of X.
Well, that's the third bit.
Yeah.
To the other highlight.
Yeah.
That's just Xenoblade 2.
But now I'm left with even more questions, though.
Why?
For example, we've seen a single, like, frame of a story cut scene.
Which is really weird.
We did.
Did we?
The single shot in the first trailer, where it shows the countdown.
The percentage sitting down.
I don't even remember.
Because it's just gameplay.
That countdown with the music just grips me so much.
And I'm like, what are they running out of?
I didn't know.
It's like, if you showed off like a new Final Fantasy, it was like a four minute trailer
that only had the battle system.
You'd be confused.
Right.
And so I'm like, what's, what is this game about?
Well, that was like, I know there's robots.
I know there's robots.
But the other big question I have is like, I was looking for some kind of indicator or
gauge to show you that you can't use the robot as much as you want.
Like you have a mech meter.
But there's nothing.
Right.
Nothing was decreasing.
So I'm like, why wouldn't you just show everyone in the mech?
No, but there's got to be some like incentive.
Like you can't be fighting tiny guys with the robot.
I'm pretty sure in a previous trailer, there was doll fuel.
It was one of the games that appeared while you were in it.
I'm not sure if that was in this one.
Because in this one, he's just cutting up dudes on the ground.
There's a cool like rising slash.
And then jumps in and finishes off the rest of them with the mech.
And then the big guy comes out.
That was super out when the camera turns and just shows you.
He's just giant.
He's just sitting there like, oh, my turn.
But then he fucking gets back out of the mech.
And he's like, no, I want to go on foot again.
Do you want?
Slash you up for the bridge.
I want to be pros and cons to vote.
I imagine speed and variability will be the biggest one.
I can't wait to find out.
I want to see more footage of the mechs transforming.
Yes.
And traveling.
Yeah, yeah.
So like watch it be that you can either play your whole party or the mech.
Or it's multiple.
Okay.
Switching between people.
So if you want to have three characters that all have different stuff, or do you want the
big strong mech?
Or again, it's multiple.
Because I don't imagine it's just like a Titanfall situation where you're just like,
you're now the better version of Titanfall.
Did either of you guys get into that beta or care or do any of that?
I don't care.
I don't care.
I'm gentle to get into betas, but I'm still going to try.
I'm excited, but I'll get it when it comes out.
Okay, I'll go to your house and play it there.
Yeah, because I would like some hands-on time with that just to see.
Wait, you didn't get into the beta?
I don't have an Xbox one.
The PC one.
I'm not going to use Origin ever.
Fair enough.
Ever.
Under any circumstances.
You can't make me.
You can't.
We keep trying.
It's like, oh, you want to play Mass Effect 3 on PC?
No.
It shows your dedication how much you hated that you'd rather go to some other location
to play something that does not have Origin associated with it.
Other little noteworthy thing, I think, well, that's not a worthy thing.
I'd like to bring it up.
The rest of the podcast after this is just all bullshit.
Is it still Nintendo Direct?
Nintendo Direct.
Okay.
GBA games to the rescue.
Yeah, finally.
Exciting.
I'd rather have the DS games.
I really wish we could have seen the DS games.
That was actually kind of a bummer.
I was really hoping to see the DS games.
Metroid Fusion.
Yeah.
Superstar Saga.
Yeah.
Superstar Saga is the best.
Yoshi's Island.
Yeah, definitely.
Fine.
Those are good games.
Yes, great.
Did I have those on my 3DS already?
And Wario Land 4 was in there, right?
I don't think I saw it.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
But if it was, that game's fucking criminally underrated.
It is.
That's true.
Those three are the only ones I remember.
I find it impossible to get excited about the Virtual Console.
In Japan, it's Advance Wars 1 and 2 because they never released the first one there,
so they bundled them when they released it on GBA.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah.
That's weird because in Japan, they've got GB Wars before Advance Wars was the original
games.
I think it would be the only person like that, right?
The Virtual Console just seems pointless to me.
They're not the only people.
If they came out and said, hey, we have GBA games, there'll be 100 new games a week until
the entire library is on the surface, then I would be like, yeah, but maybe in two months,
you'll get a new GBA game.
Well, the theory with trickling it down was to make exciting things.
But then they restarted on Wii U and 3DS.
I agree that they didn't carry it over.
That's what I hate is that they basically...
They didn't dump it because you can still access it, but I wish they'd have been more
worth thinking about.
I think some of it is so that Capcom, for example, has a week where they're like, Tuesday, Megaman,
they want publishers to have their own little mini-weeks and if they dump a bunch, maybe
that's not possible.
It's so shame because we're never going to get the C64 games back.
We're never going to get the arcade section.
Oh, no!
But the principle of the map.
But then it's like, look, Megaman X confirmed.
That's coming out.
Oh, shit, everyone gets excited for Megaman X.
Exactly.
And that side is good for the publishers.
Here's the thing.
In a world where there was no emulation, this would be awesome and exciting.
I'm not even comparing it to that.
But if you acknowledge that there's ROMs in emulation and it's easier than ever, not
that it was ever hard.
I don't deny any of it.
I don't even compare it to that.
I compare it to the PS1 library on PS3.
Does that have Megaman X?
No, but it has 100...no, I think it actually...
It has X4, X4.
And Japan it has them.
Well, that's X4.
But my point is, when that came up, they dumped it and then every now and then they would
say Xenogir's or Parasite Eve or something is coming out and it would always be like
some game that everyone knew had problems with emulation.
And they would still get dumped en masse.
They would get like, here's 10 more, here's 20 more.
And when they started to do that with the PSP, that same thing happened.
Not the whole library, but like 100 at a time.
And like, let's not forget too that they did this with the 3DS eShop as well.
Oh, yeah.
They trickled out all the old games.
Yeah, they're still doing it.
Yeah, but like the 3DS eShop, like for the virtual console is like, doesn't have Megaman X.
But I don't think...
Or Earthbound.
It has Megaman Xtreme.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And an emulated ROM on a Nintendo platform of Megaman X is not worth almost $10.
But Capcom gets that money.
You know what I mean?
Well, then you say, Capcom, I like Megaman.
That's like the only way Capcom...
And then that doesn't help.
I know, but that's because of Capcom.
In fairness, I don't want them to stop trickling games.
It's just a shame they had to reset them.
And I don't see that as a thing going forward that they're going to change.
They should.
It's such a shame.
Well, the big shame for me is like, the one that I'm really like, where are these?
Genesis and N64.
I hear you.
Those are the two where it's like, I can't place it in punishment.
Nice.
And I can't play...
Where's my 32-inch?
Where's my Streets of Rage?
Where's my Streets of Rage?
No, my Streets of Rage came out.
Like, where's my Snatcher?
I fought a trick.
It came out.
I don't know, I'm thinking of 3DS...
I don't know anything about how they're making these games, but the way they're being trickled out honestly seems like
they're remaking a completely new emulator for every single game.
They have to toggle everything wrong by wrong as far as the emulator goes to get proper performance,
and then they have to test them properly into the QA.
No, you don't.
Just throw it into the emulator.
No, they do.
Or else, Jimmy Vai's Earthbound, if the layers aren't displayed correctly, because it doesn't emulate.
So, how did Sony get away with it on PS1?
Do you remember how Sony got away with it on PS3?
They get a better emulator.
They should do that!
Did you ever have to go to the Future in Chrono Trigger and turn off the smoke layers?
No.
Never.
Because first time I played Chrono Trigger was on ZSNES, and I never had to do that shit.
Well, you must have done that really well.
You know what they should have done?
They should have just bought ZSNES and put it on all Nintendo systems.
Anyway.
I really like some of the downloadable title announcements on Nintendo Direct.
Nothing released.
Rusty's Baseball Diver.
Rusty's Baseball Shop is a good game that came out in Japan a while ago, and it's good.
Yes, Steel Diver.
Have your dogs to get your beer prices down.
Is that real money or something?
Real money.
Real money.
That's fucking sinister.
That is super sinister.
A new Pokémon Trose, which is awesome.
Not Pokken Fighters.
Whatever.
Pokémon Trose.
Wait, why are you saying that?
He should say that.
You liked Pokémon Trose.
He's all about Pokken Fighters.
Yeah, seriously.
No, I love Trose.
I love the original.
But what is Pokken Fighters?
I'm fucking excited for Pokken Fighters, but give it time.
They just announced Hyrule Warriors.
They gotta stretch their thin libraries.
I want my Blaziken to do Snake Edge Kicks.
Of course.
It's gotta come out soon before the Wii U's just dead.
Yeah.
I'm glad Nazima11 finally in North America.
That took a fucking long time.
But I was gonna buy them when I was in France.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Yeah, anyway.
What else is new in the world that's not Nintendo?
Probably a lot.
Well, to transition out of Nintendo into Nintendo a bit, how about...
Oh, damn it.
What a good Segui.
I tried.
Yeah, Seguis are awesome.
You mean Segway?
You mean Segs?
Segway.
Oh, shut up, you bastards.
Have you guys tuned in to Twitch Place Pokémon?
No.
I've heard about it.
That is hilarious in small doses.
See, that's my problem with it.
Like, I heard the idea and my brain said, that's genius, that's hilarious.
And I laughed and then felt no desire to actually watch it.
Well...
Because the idea to me is way funnier than watching people fumble around.
So, remember the first time you heard about Salty Bet?
Yeah, and then I watched for like 10 hours.
Okay.
That's like instant gratification.
Yeah.
Because of the fighting game.
Now this is a way slower thing.
Can you explain it?
Okay.
Yeah.
So, Twitch Place Pokémon is a stream that was set up by a...
It's still up.
It's going.
It's been going for like 5 days now.
There are like 3 badges there.
4.
4 bads on.
It's an ongoing party.
It's on the right.
So, a guy set up a Twitch channel where the inputs of Pokémon Red are determined by
you typing up, down, left, right, B, A or start into the chat.
And everyone can input commands at the exact same time and they're all feeding into the
emulator.
And everyone is controlling it.
At its highest, I heard it was up to 22,000 people.
It made it to 40.
All fighting each other with inputs.
When I tuned in last time, it was 40.
So, this has been blowing up everywhere.
And the more people that joined, the more ridiculous it gets.
And the thing is, at a certain point, it kind of became impossible because too many start
spammers.
Everyone was just pausing the game and it was just like, this sucks now.
How do you control it when people are just fucking it up?
There's a straight up delay in Twitch, as you know, like 20 seconds or so, and you
type in your command and then it just queues them all up and it feeds them all in.
And there might be, like, if there's a text box happening while 50 up, left, down, right
are going by, none of those result in anything.
Okay, good.
So, it is random luck.
The start spammers, he tried to deal with it a bit by having a system where a start
occasionally will just stop working so that progress can be made.
Which is being made.
Yes.
Yeah.
Four badges in.
The progress is inconceivable.
They're going to be finished very soon.
How?
I don't know.
Everyone is praising the Helix King.
I watched for three minutes as they tried to get by one of those ledge sections.
Yeah, the ledges are the worst.
Imagine you're playing one of those ledge sections in Pokemon and your stupid cousin just hits
down on your d-pad every now and again.
Yeah, you're fighting 39,900 other people.
Exactly.
So, I watched this for like three minutes and they made it nowhere.
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely nowhere.
I forgot which gym it was where you are spinning on the little...
Saffron.
Saffron, where they're pushing you forward.
That's the sixth gym.
Okay, so then I guess they're way further than four then at this point.
But, like, they were on those earlier just today, or yesterday rather.
I heard they were at Silph Co.
They're going to throw that master ball at the first fucking nightmare.
But no, you can barely get that out, you know?
Every battle ends in running away.
Did they release the starter?
Yeah, they released Jorzar.
A-B-B-B-B-B-B-K?
The poor thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a couple of great names in there too.
I really feel like with 40,000 people potentially trying to control this, it really brings new
mean to the word, I want to be the very best.
Everyone wants to be the very best.
But this is a phenomenon.
There's tons of people are tuning in to it.
The only thing I'm disappointed at is that I would have hoped that, like, the way you
describe the way the input's going, I kind of wanted it to be a system in which the computer
says how many people hit up in a second, what is the most popular thing, and they would
decide.
And so then if you got high enough in the user count, it would just synchronize and look
like a real person or something like that.
That's interesting.
But that would be really hard.
A way more complicated algorithm going on there.
And with this, I believe that they've started up Twitch Play's Minecraft as well.
Someone started that.
I'm sure that's going nowhere near as well.
Yeah, because Pokemon is such a hilarious, perfect game for this.
You can't really lose at Pokemon.
No.
And there's like eight buttons and no mouse movement.
The most you can do is just save the game a lot.
So yeah, that's a pretty genius thing going on.
Check it out for fun.
If you like fun.
I'd like to fuck people up because you're a little cousin.
Yeah.
I am that.
I'm exactly that.
And you'll love it.
Oh, I love it.
Also going on in the world of handhelds, handhelds continue to exist.
I sent Liam this article earlier, just saying, Liam, read this fucking headline.
Just read it.
Oh, I vaguely remember.
This was Thursday.
So someone writing a blog, yes, it was on Thursday.
Someone writing a blog on Forbes.com.
Yeah.
Because there's like personalized little editorial places.
Yeah.
Wrote a headline called Flappy Bird Makes 50,000 a Day.
Will Nintendo Take Notice?
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
This reminds me of a really, really old person who's like, what's this about the Flappy Bird?
And I'm going to write a blog about it.
Well, the development's the fucking future, man.
Oh my god.
It's like taking the worst current news ever and the dumbest people pushing for-
And mash them together.
Oh my god.
By the way, speaking of Flappy Bird, I've listened to last week's podcast and I may have come off a little bit dickish at the Flappy Bird guy.
You?
And I feel kind of bad about it.
What?
I certainly feel that way.
So if the Flappy Bird guy can hear this, which he can't, but whatever, I was just jealous that you were making $50,000 a day and that's why it was mad.
That's a very hard dog.
But the game you made still sucks though.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you don't have to feel that bad because you know who else is mad?
Who?
Apple and Google.
Because they just straight up came out and went, nah fuck it, we're done.
No more clones.
And yes!
Yes!
That makes Flappy Bird the greatest game of all time!
Totally.
And actually-
Yes!
To be used happen yesterday.
Over the weekend.
You see fuckingking.com suing the game they ripped off to make Candy Crush?
Yes.
I'm gonna get there.
Hold on.
Let me get there.
Damn it!
Because right now-
I'm too smart for this podcast.
Because right now, Apple and Google at the same time, both just straight up started turning down people's shitty clones.
But that's not very hard to regulate with the amount that probably comes from Google.
That means that process is gonna get way slower.
And the interesting thing is that there was no- they didn't even give a heads up email,
which is often done for Google Play and for the iOS Store.
They just started doing it.
You know what?
I'm not a lawyer, but I can easily see an argument being made that they are complicit in all sorts of bullshit by allowing these clones to exist.
Not even that!
It's just them just saying we can do what we want and we're fed up.
They're platforming as garbage?
I also think it's also like a certain quality barrier that they're trying desperately to scrap.
My favorite part about the story is the reasons they send you when your app gets rejected.
Oh yeah.
This is gonna sound great.
Fly Bird greatest game now.
When Apple rejects you, the reason that comes back on your submission is leveraging a popular app.
That's on the nose.
That's straight up- you are a bastard and you are a corner.
Why do you gotta do this?
You have- you're just fucking another hanger on.
No more road fighter threes.
And even better is Google's response.
Of course.
Which when they were-
Fuck yeah, I was gonna say fuck you.
Google's response is one word.
Spam.
Oh!
That's even worse.
You are nothing but spam.
That is what a mod sends to you when you're fed up with it.
You are the junkman of our store.
Yeah, I would know.
I have no words to even bother you.
I have no time for you.
You are- you're spam.
So here's the question.
Does this mean that the mobile market will improve or crash?
It's too early to tell.
You're a gamer turned to mobile developer Ken Carpenter.
What did he make?
He said- he made Flappy Dragon.
But it got rejected and he was angry as fuck saying,
this is just not my fucking week.
Well, that's a reasonable way to be it.
I thought you were gonna send him to me.
Well, no, no, he followed up with-
Oh, okay.
Uh, they said, we found your name attempts to leverage a popular app.
And he's like, what app?
Flappy Bird doesn't exist.
Oh, fuck off, god.
So indignant, like, mobile, get rich, quick rise.
That's still a really good quote.
I assumed he was gonna say, I'm curious about-
Ah, it's not my week.
This is- this can only be positive because it'll just put him to more stark relief,
the difference, because there'll be way less apps now, right?
Hopefully.
Just the difference between, hey, this is free to play garbage, like Dungeon Keeper,
and maybe a real game, like Cut the Rope.
But I don't think this is going to apply to everything going on.
No, games.
I think this is only gonna apply to situations like this.
Yeah.
Where they go-
We were both taking a special interest in this bullshit.
You know what?
I would- I would believe this is completely gradually air-making us up,
but I would believe that those kinds of games are, like, 99% of the app store's games,
of quick cash-in rip-offs.
99% is pretty high, but 99% is not-
80%.
It's definitely above 75%.
Because I remember when Flappy Bird came out and then went away within a day,
there were, like, 30, 40, 50 clubs.
But look, I have read through the, like, IOS terms and guidelines and things like that.
They specify you can't upload derivative apps that already exist.
It's in their terms.
They're just enforcing it.
And yeah, now they're enforcing it because before they would basically just go,
look, is it a clone?
Is it the same code?
Did you replace assets?
Yeah.
You actually steal something.
Then they would just shut you down.
But now they get to enforce it within whatever.
Right?
Because it seems like there needs to be another Flappy Bird and then, like,
another type of situation in Flappy Bird where they enforce it again.
Yeah.
Because you've got fuckers uploading Flappy Birds that look like angry birds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know?
Everything is collapsing.
And they call it Angry Flapper.
Like, if you just read the list of flipping Flappy Birding.
And the whole market's a cesspool.
And hopefully they can put a pool skimmer through it a little bit.
But when we've got Flappy Bird Flyer up there is making the money now.
Sure.
But give it a year.
I'm very interested to see if it'll get any better.
Or it'll get way worse.
Like, it'll be down to, like, the three free-to-play garbage games.
And those are just super successful because they're not fighting their own clones.
Right.
I really hope this shuts down Minecraft and Clash of Clans clones.
Because those are the ones that annoy me.
You mean, like, Dungeon Keeper?
Not, no.
It's not, like, either of those.
But hey, shout-outs to that news article this week that basically was, like, good old games.
You guys have this bullshit Dungeon Keeper situation going on.
Why don't you tune in here and get the old War Free thing for free.
If EA had just made a fucking, like, $5 quote-unquote premium app that was a balanced Dungeon Keeper,
God damn it, they would have avoided this whole thing.
But then they wouldn't have made $300 off of you, Liam.
They wouldn't have it in the first place.
Oh no, the folly of the mobile market shows itself.
But here's the thing, though.
These articles have all been saying, like, good old games, yeah, awesome, they're making it free.
EA, okay then.
Yeah, of course they did, yeah.
This was their action.
Of course, it's not God being, like, oh, we're gonna stay.
Exactly, yeah.
No, EA owns fucking Dungeon Keeper.
But a lot of, like, posts and write-ups have been,
Yeah, have just been, like, God is awesome.
EA sucks.
Well, yes.
But I bet it was CD Projekt's, like, idea.
And they call the guy at EA.
He said, ah, fucking, people are really mad at us right now.
Who cares?
Yeah, it really seems like it.
What if for free?
Valentine's Day, yeah.
It really seems like a flash in the pale.
Oh, that fucked up, and that was awful.
Just do this, put a bandaid on the back.
This will cut down on angry phone calls to my desks for about 20 minutes.
On the other hand, like, on the other hand, it could totally be the opposite,
where it's like, we're giving out a shit ton of free Dungeon Keepers.
Sure, but it's-
Now these people might check out the IOS.
Sure, but it's way easier to give CD Projekt the benefit of the doubt
than it is to give EA the benefit of the doubt.
Sure, when you're biased.
And it was only one day.
Remember?
What?
It was only 21 days.
It was only 24 hours.
You don't need to know anything about either side.
I know that CD Projekt is DRM free and doesn't make origin.
But you can't say that they were the ones to make the call definitively.
Um, but yeah, Matt, they only did it for 24 hours.
But I can say that one company is evil and the other is not.
Sure, but you don't know anything at the end of the day.
That's true.
What is-
You don't.
Oh.
All I said is it's easier to give one the benefit of the doubt than the other.
Sure, sure, but we don't know for sure.
I didn't say it was for sure.
You said that has to be what happened.
Yeah.
But that doesn't mean it-
Oh my God.
Anyway, anyway, anyway.
Um, the other bit, of course, of Mobile News, which was teased a little earlier-
God, I hate you so much, Liam.
Is the story that's been going around, which is Candy Swipe.
The game that was registered before Candy Crush.
Yeah.
2010.
And years before.
Two years before.
And this guy is getting told to pull his app down.
And it's all kinds of bullshit because look at the icons and the fonts and the text.
Candy Crush is a clear rip-off.
They stole his game.
But they're the bigger company, so-
So you win.
Go King.
I don't win.
I don't think you win if the date on it is two years earlier.
No, no.
But if you're a bigger company-
You've been trying to battle them legally for these two years, and you can't afford to do so anymore.
How do you- why is- how can it even be a legal battle?
Because they just draw it out.
One is earlier.
Done.
And not when you've got lawyers, dude.
Goddamn cockpits.
New York lawyers.
High five chicken lawyers.
What I do think, though, with this story, and it's like-
You can't say that for sure.
Like, it's a super one-sided tale about-
A super one-sided tale about the underdog versus the giant.
And there's all that stuff that he made the game for as a tribute to his mom.
That's the part where I go, okay, look, it's an iOS game, man.
Like, I get-
He's just trying to get an extra bit of-
A little bit more out of that.
Yeah.
And it's like, I get that that's a part of the story, but you don't play up your mom, man.
The point is you were there first, but you're-
But when you have no money and no lawyers use anything-
All you got is your heart, bro.
And you're taking the food out of my kid's mouth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That line is a little-
I guess after two years of battling, like-
No, no, no.
He's totally in the right, and it's super bullshit that this happens.
This is so bad.
But like, I just-
A little bit of the cynic in me just kind of goes,
aw, the mom card, you know?
Ow.
But hey, people are probably checking out Candy Swip now.
Because that shit traveled, but-
No, lots of good takin' down for being spam.
No, but yeah, no, fuck King for that.
That's garbage.
Fuck everything.
I can't believe that King.com has just come up and done this.
It's weird calling that-
They're like-
Evil hatred just came up in like, what, two months?
One month?
Very, very quickly.
They got-
Whatever the copyright.
Whatever the copyright.
They got it, and then immediately started just blasting everybody with notices.
Accelerated evil.
Because I didn't even see their-
Yeah.
They bought their own fucking coin doubler.
I didn't even see the response that they made until that guy quoted it,
saying like, we believe in the rights of every creator to do-
But not yours.
Except when we did it.
Or is that other one with a pack escape that they paid like guys to literally clone another game?
Yeah, that's just like, aw, god.
No, but it's exposing a lot of the CD underbelly of the already sketchy iOS story.
I like to think that the people who work at King.com,
they were feeling really good about getting that copyright and that trademark.
It's like, yeah, we are the biggest clone.
We're gonna slam everybody else.
And then this decision comes down from Google and Apple.
And they go, shit, what are we gonna do for the next game?
We didn't actually make our game.
We just stole it.
We just stole it.
I hope no one figures out the thing that we did.
Like, I was reading, I was reading,
because now a lot of iOS like indie guys are getting interviewed and stuff.
And I was reading about one guy who was like, yeah,
I run a successful company that makes, you know, games original.
And he does his own original games.
And they do okay.
Okay.
But not super duper great.
Yeah.
But he runs a second secret division of his company that just clones.
He runs, he runs ultra games.
Like basically,
And they have a different name for when companies come to them and go,
look, we want you to take this thing and put ads in it.
And they go, okay.
And they showed an actual description and they're like,
take, we want an Angry Birds-esque type game,
just as close as possible with ads.
And that's the entire description of the contract.
That doesn't make me happy at all.
That's really gross.
It's nice.
You know what that makes you think?
It makes you go into his office.
He's like, so I'd like to make a game.
And he's like, okay.
And he's a little cheery and nice.
And there's sun coming through the windows.
And they're like, I just want to clone something.
And he goes, well, come into my other office.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like this dark day.
It grows the bookshelf.
Yeah, yeah.
It flips over.
That wasn't my imagination.
My thing was, oh, I want to clone a game.
He turns the table upside down.
Wheel of fortune.
He just spins it.
No, Angry Birds.
But I like going through the bookshelf.
And then suddenly you've got like a hidden casino.
Yeah.
Everything slips over.
The waitresses are serving drinks.
And cigarettes.
Yeah.
And it's an embarrassment of riches in bullshit in that industry.
You have both of the worst copyright ends of the spectrum.
Yeah.
You have non-stop clones with the most over-crazy zealous like copyright enforcement on originals
of clones.
Yeah.
God damn it.
Yeah.
Copyright law is ass backwards.
No, man.
And everyone's just trying to grab money out your pocket.
Everyone's trying to hustle.
Everyone's trying to hustle.
And like the speed of the mobile market is like too fast for lawyers to keep up with.
Which is why it's nice when you get really good deals that come along, such as if you
get Castlevania, Lords of Shadow 2 pre-ordered, you get your mirrors of fate HD for free.
Just take it.
That's awesome.
That also strikes me as a...
If you pre-order Lords of Shadow 2, you get mirrors of fate HD for free.
Okay, because if you bought mirrors of fate HD, you got the Lords of Shadow 2 demo.
Yeah.
Well, other way around now.
That's fucking stupid.
Does that work on PC?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't think it does.
Damn it.
Because I don't think Lords...
I don't think that game even came out on PC, which was a mirror of fate HD.
I thought it did.
I don't know.
Yeah.
So here, with your pre-order, you get this pile of shit that you can look at.
That is for free.
Yeah.
It's a free pile of shit.
It's alright if you don't like good Castlevania.
I don't know.
Is that the guy that likes judgment?
I thought the trailer looks cool, but I didn't.
Judgment is the...
That really worries me actually.
Guilty pleasure.
Yeah.
But like boys...
Your kidney is serious.
What worries you?
The fact that...
What was that?
Game Informer review for Castlevania came out and said this game sucks basically.
And that's the first review that got out.
The exclusives like, well that's not super great.
And then all I hear about for Lords of Shadow 2 is, hey man, Green Man Gaming has it like
$30 off.
Hey man, if you pre-order it, you get mirror of fate.
It's like all of these deals sound great, but it makes me feel like they are desperate
to pump the numbers up before the game comes out.
Green Man does these sales for like everything.
They do.
They do.
And I wasn't nervous about it until now.
Where they're trying to give everybody.
The Green Man sales are run by Green Man though.
In order to up their sale.
What are you saying?
The magazine that had the exclusive deal to the review was like a hot new review and
you turn it over and it's just like, it sucks.
I'm saying that the nature of a review embargo usually means that if your review is sufficiently
high you usually get out in front.
Which is why the first review is almost always the most glowing.
So when the first review from a major publication ends up being a six that sends off alarm bells
for me.
Now fortunately it does, but Game and Former is a huge rag and I would never trust a single
one of their reviews.
That I'd have to see a couple more.
For example, there was a bunch of reviews like 20 of them for Donkey Kong Country Tropical
Freeze and 999, 10.10, 8.
Six.
Six.
From one guy that's like, I don't like it.
He's allowed to have it.
I'm not saying it's necessarily bad.
The game could be great, but the first part made me wary.
The second part made me go, and then the third part seems like when I look at the big picture
I'm like, they seem really desperate to get these pre-order numbers up.
Well, you know what man?
At least that type of review opinionated situation is better than guys of the wolf.
Have you heard about No.
This is the Total Biscuit Incident part two.
Oh yeah, I saw this.
Did you read Total Biscuit's big huge heartfelt thing about Reddit?
Yeah, I read that.
This is not part of it at all.
I know.
I'm just saying that that was an interesting read.
Yeah, he abandoned his Reddit.
Yeah, because of it.
No, but that's different.
Maybe you should have.
No, I'm not going to get rid of that.
No, it was a write up about that stuff.
People are jerks on the internet, end of story.
Except for our fans.
Our fans are fantastic.
They're always great all the time.
All the time.
I think it was about him sympathizing with the flappy bird guy.
I think that's what it was.
The crux of it doesn't matter.
The basic thing is Total Biscuit's sad because people on the internet are fucking mean.
And yeah, they are.
I know first person.
I don't know.
Everyone's really nice to me on the internet.
No one's ever said anything mean about me losing my hair or being overweight.
It's not like you're the most popular one.
Would you shut up?
You do shut up.
I'm very sensitive about my hair, okay?
I used to have more.
There was a main.
It's all big and curly and shit.
It's fin-like.
It was almost like a 70s afro.
The way he's describing it.
Yeah.
Funky Pat back in the day.
Giant boy.
I'm not going to get in shape just to not look like an old guy.
Anyway, no.
This is the Total Biscuit situation where basically after Gary's incident,
or not to, after Gary's incident,
I love the fact that that was an incident about a game called Gary's incident.
It would only be better if Total Biscuit's name was Gary.
Total Biscuit shit on this game.
Gary's incident incident.
Total Biscuit shit on this game that's apparently terrible called Guys of the Wolf.
I remember Jim Sterling throwing that game under the bus in a recent Jimquisition
saying this isn't even a game, this is Total Garbage.
Right.
A lot of people have been like, just, apparently the game's not very good.
Looking at part, yeah.
That's sad because the name Guys of the Wolf is the dumbest, best name I've heard in a while.
Now it's gone for good.
Also, the developers are called Fun Creator.
Yeah!
I love fun!
I wish someone would date some.
For a couple of Cabella games, there's a developer called Fun Labs.
So yeah.
No man, so the short version of this, because there's a lot of details,
but I don't need to get into the nitty-gritty.
TLDR, if you would, the review goes up,
and the Fun Creator hates the fact that Total Biscuit's blasting the game.
As well they should if they made the thing.
And so they pull the same stunt, they send him a cease and desist.
Well they shouldn't do that.
Pull down your content of our game, how dare you.
What they said was so slimy.
After what they said.
So they send them a, you shouldn't be showing our thing, you're not allowed to.
We put a strike on your channel, fuck you.
Oh jeez.
Right?
Fuck sake.
I forgot the name of his group, but one of the guys that basically handles, I guess, the legal stuff.
Yeah, is it Laris they're with?
Perhaps.
I think.
It's one of those two.
Anyway, their legal guy gets in touch with them and goes,
hey guys, Fun Creator, hi.
So you might as lawyer talk.
Not have caught this, but two months ago another company that put up this game called Gary's Incident tried the exact same thing.
Didn't go so well for them.
So maybe you want to reverse this strike against us and get that taken care of before things give you.
Before it blows up and becomes a shit store.
Before people like us talk about it on podcasts.
And then Fun Creator's legal girl, I forgot her name.
I can check it out, but it doesn't matter.
But their legal department replies.
It's an indie company, by the way.
Legal department.
Yeah, quote on quote.
Their lawyer calls his cousin.
Basically comes back and goes, hi, we're much bigger than you think we are, so please don't try taking that tone with us.
We have the funds to go to court if we need to and so on and so forth.
Biscuit probably makes more than that company does every day.
It's certainly possible.
First of all, what we want to know is clearly someone told you to put up that bad review and told you what to say.
And we're trying to get to the bottom of this, so why don't we talk amicably and find out who's really behind this.
This isn't a who done it.
There's no mistake.
That means people that are so far up their own ass that I think could never be bad.
It could never be bad.
I don't understand.
People must be out to get it.
There was a crossed wire somewhere.
That's the only way, right?
And all I can really say.
We're all friends here.
You clearly didn't mean to slam our game.
Now, there's a weird thing that happens and I can say this from having worked with a ton of different developers in the industry.
I've seen it first hand.
It's weird where it's not weird.
It's like they work on a game.
They don't see the faults as strong.
No, because they're too close.
They're too close to the project, right?
It's like everyone who has their kid and they're like, aren't they beautiful?
And you're like, your kid's ugly as fuck, dude.
But he looks like a fishman.
And in all fairness, it's hard to not see the fishman face when you love it so much.
Yes, right.
But the thing is, it's interesting because generally you'll see the higher up the chain you go, the more blind they are to a lot of the real facts.
That makes sense.
You know?
Because they're trying to see the big picture, man.
Exactly.
Because the people at the top, everyone below them, tries to give them just enough information that they'll shut up and not ask stuff.
So they think things great, right?
So when huge bad backlash press comes out, their world is turned upside down.
What?
What?
And it's time and years and money.
People don't like elder scrolls online.
But I tried so hard.
So clearly someone else is running a conspiracy against them, right?
Well, that game's gonna bomb.
What?
People don't like lightning?
No.
So it gets even worse because they reply.
So the total biscuit guys reply and go like, what the fuck?
And that has to be what they actually saw.
They shouldn't have just given that stupid facetious email and just three question marks.
And then they just throw it.
When you get it from your aunt?
And then it's what the fuck followed by in tarot bang.
Followed by a tweet of, hey guys, take a look at what fun creators just sent me.
To be fair, they gave them the chance.
I know, but it's like seeing them cock back the hammer of the gun.
Shit hits all the fans.
All the fans.
We're covered in it because we're talking about it.
Precipitation of doodoo everywhere.
Get your umbrellas.
Rain on the internet has a different consistency from that in France.
A fun creator gets back in touch and says, um...
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
They get back in touch and go, basically, you have a final warning.
You have 72 hours or 48 hours, whatever, time limit to remove all content from your channel and shut it down.
What?
Or we're going to take action.
They want him to shut his channel down.
And then they say at the bottom, don't tweet this or else we'll...
Or else we'll pretend that it never happened and deny all allegations.
This is literally like a bully that says we're going to beat you up, but you can't tell anyone about it.
Exactly.
And in the original...
A really small bully.
In the original email, they said, and we're not going to publicly talk about the fact that we caused the strike yet.
So this whole thing gets fucked because they're like, wow, you're trying to do some retarded bullying shit, but nobody's having any of it.
And it culminates in this whole thing where everyone's shitting on the game, it's now got a 0.7 on Metacritic.
As bad as you think it can get, it all falls apart.
I have to ask, I'm curious, what type of game even is it? What genre is it? Do we know?
I remember in the gym position piece, I saw like 10 seconds of footage and it appears to be first person in melee, but walking up to characters that don't animate and nothing is in it, it looks a bit...
So an Xbox Live indie game.
It appears to look worse.
This is underneath Alpha Champ, most likely.
And then the fucking, after it all goes nuts, Cherry on top is the publisher of the game, comes out and goes, we support freedom of speech and the press, and we believe that anybody making a review should be able to say what they want.
Furthermore, games that Twitter is so bad for this shit, games that don't meet a sufficient level of quality standards should generally consider self-publishing.
And another tweet in addition to this.
They had a third one, and they had a third one that was basically like, so yeah, in conclusion, we are totally for saying what you want and we don't think sending these threats out is a good idea basically.
They're publisher, their own publisher turned against them and said, total biscuit, we have nothing to do with this.
That reminds me of, I think it was like a month ago where that Cricket game came out and then was cancelled a week after.
They had gotten a Cricket license for years and years prior, and they shipped this awful piece of garbage and then it was up on Steam for three days, and then the publisher cancelled it and issued an apology.
Yeah, like that's, wow.
Like the terminology used was, we have decided to cancel the game.
We reached her after it was available for purchase.
We realized that we made a Cricket game.
Oh man, Cricket, no one understands Cricket, you gotta know what a crumpetist understand Cricket.
That's like croquet, right?
That's like a lot like croquet.
The sad thing though ultimately in the end is after all the bullshit and after them getting lamblasted as they deserved, there's still a strike on Total Biscuits channel and that's bullshit.
Yeah, no, it's garbage.
That's bullshit at the end of the day.
And it'll take weeks if not months if possible for him to wipe that.
What is that?
If they don't reserve it, if they don't reverse it, then they have to get a human being involved.
No, human being at YouTube.
That's hard.
Damn.
What is the actual strike?
You know what the actual strike is?
It can't be content IDs.
It's just like a general...
He doesn't own copyrights.
Even though it wasn't.
No, it's totally covered under fair use.
You also don't have to justify your strike.
It's covered under fair use.
Fair use indeed.
Speaking of Twitter, I don't know if you have this down.
Did you hear about how Zero Escape 3 is going?
That was down.
Damn it.
Let's just jump right in.
Go, Liam.
Go ahead.
Okay, what's his name again?
Oh.
Wow.
Did you check her?
The Zero Escape 3 guy.
The Zero Escape 3 guy.
The guy that made 999 and Virtue's Last Reward wants to make a Part 3.
So we've known that he wants to make a Part 3 because if you finish Virtue's Last Reward,
you really don't finish the ball.
I didn't and even I felt it.
Oh man.
Like there's going to be a Part 3.
It's a cliffhanger.
But oh no.
He comes out and he says it might not be possible, but I'm trying.
It seems to be in hiatus.
So basically we've known that Zero Escape has performed quite well in the States.
Europe I'm not sure.
That's the most disappointing thing is that the disappointing sales come from Japan.
Yeah.
It's a fucking visual novel game.
Uchikoshi.
Uchikoshi.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like how upside down Topsy Turvy is the world.
But don't visual novels really do well when they have a certain type of thing in them?
I honestly think it's luck and bad luck and good luck as Steins Gate did well and has a similar kind of theme.
Maybe it's because there aren't that many popular visual novels out here that we all flock to Zero Escape.
Yeah.
There's too many out of Japan.
Well there's really nothing like it that I can think of.
Oh out here?
No way.
Not for a while.
Like Hotel Dusk like five years ago.
Maybe.
Even that's different.
But Hotel Dusk has like a bit more reverse version in all that.
That's as close as we get.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Anyway so Zero Escape 3 on pretty much indefinite hiatus.
Because if you release a series of tweets that was like a monologue really.
I'm so sorry.
I'm inadequate.
I can't get this going.
I really wished I could.
But sadly sometimes the funding just doesn't exist.
And for now we're going to have to shelve it.
Although I feel like it could come back if ever a generous benefactor really appeared.
So then of course people are like how about Kickstarter.
Well he's saying he already said before.
I know.
Okay yeah.
This is why this came.
This also responds to another article.
I think it was saying like Japan will never embrace Kickstarter.
The way that Japan.
There's a couple but it's just.
There's a couple for sure.
Which is not true because some guys are starting.
No but Japan will never embrace it like other countries.
Which is great.
I don't think so.
I think they really want to eat it.
It'll get there when Kickstarter games are legit.
When Capcom goes bankrupt.
Oh.
And all those awesome employees that make good games are out from underneath Capcom's
management.
You'll see a bunch of road warrior kicks.
But I think one of those articles spawned from is how the zero escape guy responded
to the Kickstarter thing going.
There's like this.
Well because there's a huge risk to it.
Yes.
Kickstarter is not cheap man.
No it's not.
It's not.
You have to set that up and it takes a lot.
Like we just said not too long ago like three or four days ago the to the death kickstarter
for example despite having big names behind it failed super hard unfortunately.
Sadly sadly sadly.
So yeah there is super risk.
However there is also this little thing came out.
It's not too huge right now but some guys are trying to run a thing called Operation
Bluebird.
Yeah.
Which is straight up take your copy of 999 and VLR and whatever form you had it.
Take a picture of it.
And upload it to these guys on Facebook.
Be like look I bought it.
Yeah.
Is there enough to do this if Operation Rainfall was a thing?
Well Operation Rainfall didn't work though.
But they made a cool box.
Anyway it doesn't matter because this is Spike Chunsoft not Nintendo.
That's right.
Do whatever they want.
Maybe they can get cool voice guy from Operation Rainfall videos to come and do this.
Anyway Uchi Koshi he said like thank you for the support.
New venues have opened up.
Clearly it's being reassessed.
I really feel like this was kind of like almost a cry for help for Zero Escape.
My slash motivator.
We are in a brave new world in which getting mad at shit on the internet is actually starting
to do things.
I'm just really fearful that this might be a rude awakening for some people.
Because like if he puts it up on Kickstarter and he says like okay we need 3 million dollars.
Yeah.
He's like what?
It doesn't cost 3 million dollars to make.
Yes it does.
Well my god.
Yes it does.
You could probably cut it significantly by having voice acting being a stretch goal.
It was squiggly for example.
Yeah.
What?
One character couldn't cause this was crazy.
Let us break it down for you now.
Exactly.
Exactly.
I would be way more interested in seeing that kind of breakdown for all Kickstarter.
Oh for sure.
Yeah and obviously it would be like over a million if I was 3 million and then you know
if they hit that then Spike will pay the rest.
Yeah.
You know it'll be that situation and the problem is if they don't hit that then Spike will
be like well what do you fucking want?
Clearly Zero Escape is not a financial success.
I mean when you say a cry for help all you really have to do is just look at the fact
that a Japanese developer has switched over to create an English account to just speak
to his English fans that he has realized he has.
If you're apologizing he has poor English.
Right?
Yeah.
That doesn't happen.
He has more English fans than Japanese fans.
Exactly.
You people stood by me more than these fans.
That doesn't happen unless.
That doesn't happen unless dudes know you know he realizes what's up.
It's all globalized global economy.
So hopefully that can work out for him.
Yep.
I do hope he goes Kickstarter but only if it's gonna you know only if it's reasonable.
If he goes Kickstarter that'll let me finally get the fucking bracelet in the goddamn neck.
I couldn't get any farther of the other bracelets.
Me neither.
I'm so mad.
Oh there's actual like.
Yeah there were specials.
That's awesome.
Limited editions.
They're red and blue ones.
They were super super super rare.
Can you choose one?
Can you get a number?
No.
It's a watch.
It's a watch but in the first they are modeled after the bracelets in each game.
Yeah.
They press the two buttons that would do it and that's what tells you I think the time
or whatever.
And they're perfect replicas and they are so rare.
But if it's Kickstarter then like the hundred dollar tier or whatever I can finally get
one.
Yeah.
God damn it.
I would really love to see a Kickstarter for that because like we haven't really seen
one for a big Japanese thing other than Mighty No. 9 but it was an original thing whereas
this is like.
Yeah.
Mighty No. 9 is so original.
I want to see, I get what you mean but I want to see fans of this trilogy that needs
an end.
Yeah.
Or like there's Kickstarter's from Western companies with a ton of Japanese people involved
but not strictly a Japanese Kickstarter.
Exactly.
Because this is literally like we need Spike to help us make this game.
So hey, we might never see Zero Escape series games again but lightning is going to keep
showing up in our final fantasy game.
So right off the bat, Matt and I only played like an hour of that game.
We played about an hour.
The fucking video.
I am blown away at how terrible it is.
It is so awful in every respect.
Like we don't even have the time for you to cover it.
I know.
It's all like you walk into an area and like the default frame rate in that city is like
22 frames a second and everything looks like garbage and the story is nonsensical.
But what drinks were you in?
I don't give a fuck.
And the fucking quest.
It was a dark news which I thought that you would love that name.
Oh it was a cloud.
This was, I don't remember if this came up in the episode but this is probably the best
example I can come up with is that there is a scene very early on in which two NPCs that
are identical talk to each other in a cutscene.
And it's one of the first things you see in the game.
For one of those really interesting quests.
You have like these lavish, unbelievable Scranic style, what do you call it, CG cutscenes
that are godlike despite the shit that's happening and then you get into the game and you have
identical shitty looking NPCs talking directly to each other with, might even be the same
voice actor.
And it's just this garbage, garbage and lightning is the worst of all of them.
Lightning is the most cynically made piece of shit character ever.
She's cloud.
She's just cloud.
That's all she is.
But she's worse than cloud.
She's worse than cloud because she's the cloud that everyone who works at Scranics now thinks
cloud was.
Well and the worst bit about her is she's just been getting progressively more and more
naked.
And creepy.
Because?
Like she was fine in 13.
She was boring but she wasn't offensive.
Exactly.
She was acceptably fine.
Well the idea of tough girl character, main character girl, is cool, right?
That's awesome.
And now when you force it.
But here's the thing.
I think in 13 I was still fine with it.
It's cool but it's just like the, and when you consider the fact that up until that point
female protagonist has been black long haired girl.
Yeah.
We're not going to go anywhere with that because Japan doesn't want anything else.
No, that's not why.
All the designs for characters that Amano used to draw had blonde hair and Nomura would
always change them to be brunette.
Oh really?
Yes.
Ranoa, Tifa, all that shit.
The ones designed by Amano would always have blonde hair so Celas and Terra and Garnet all
had blonde hair.
Wow.
And then Nomura says no, no, no, no.
Give them black hair.
And all the ones that Nomura draws have black hair.
Okay.
So it's way worse than you think.
What about who designed Quistis?
Quistis?
Quistis.
Whatever.
Nomura did but she's not the main one.
Yeah.
But it can never be the main one.
That's the thing.
Can we get something interesting?
So they give us lady quack.
So they go show them this, right?
Yeah.
But Matomu Toriyama, basically the director, Thomas Motherfucker at Square Enix literally
says we know Lightning is an extremely popular character when compared to other Final Fantasy
characters.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
So there's a possibility that Lightning would appear in other future FF games not as
a protagonist but as a guest character.
Okay.
Mat.
Okay.
When I see the term an extremely popular character, you know the first phrase that
pops into my head?
Show me the receipts.
So?
Where are the receipts for this?
That's what I knew you were gonna say and they do have receipts.
It exists.
What are they?
The Famitsu Final Fantasy character.
Look at that.
Lightning last year or two years ago came in at number one.
A resounding number.
Okay.
Mat.
Farts on the data.
And this year Yuna came in at number one and what does that say?
That means whatever game is new.
Whatever game is new is because people who played FF6 back in the day like me are not,
some of them don't play games anymore.
Some of them are dead.
Some of them don't remember.
Mat.
And for many people this is their first Final Fantasy.
You know what's a better example of whether or not the fucking character is well liked?
FF13 sells 7 million copies.
That's who I was gonna ask you.
FF102 sells barely makes 2 million and Lightning Returns is maybe gonna hit a million.
Like barely a million.
Like people don't want it or her or any of them.
Like as we go forward in time, you know, like there's people that literally have not like,
you can't even say oh 10 was their first because no, like maybe 12, maybe they're around some
kids.
And Lightning is going to join like Vaughn and Keastus and all those other nothing characters
that nobody remembers and nobody will ever talk about.
But you know what the first thing I thought was when I saw this, when they say that Lightning's
popular.
Dude she's in FF14 and it's disgusting.
Oh yeah?
It's disgusting.
Fortunately.
There's a quest with her and you walk around with Lightning.
Fortunately it's a super cameo thing and it's not like a plot.
Okay.
And yeah, but if you, I think you get her costume at the end of this.
Hey, if you pre-order.
Which is super silly on a lot of guys.
If you pre-order Final Fantasy XV you get the Lightning costume.
Oh.
So it's called the character.
And all the characters look like lightning.
It's antagonists and enemies of like lightning.
It's not Cloud and Tactics or it's not like Cloud and Tactics or.
It's a total cameo.
Okay.
Or like Dante and Nocturne.
It's right up.
It jumps out of a portal.
Hey, I'm here.
Help me do this thing.
Featuring Lightning from the Final Fantasy XIII series.
Total cameo.
Oh boy.
The first thing that I thought when I read this though was okay, because they're talking
about making her show up elsewhere, could it be that like whatever ties versus 13 originally
had to 13 might apply so that 15 wouldn't.
No.
No.
It's actually about the core crux of like the FF 13 II concept of she's in another world
between dimensions and she's the most badass character ever.
So she could just fall into a different universe.
But if you see her face and in a spot in 15 somewhere.
Oh my God.
Kingdom Hearts III is going to be rife with this bitch.
You're totally right, dude.
It's true.
You know what I just realized?
Lightning is.
Lightning is the fucking Warrior King from this two-fighting stage because he went to
different dimensions and popped into different shit and said, hey, I'm here now and then
would leave after the adventure's over.
And then everyone would be like, get the fuck out of here, Warrior King.
Get out of here, Warrior King, Lightning.
And she can have infinite adventures.
She can have infinite adventures before she returns.
Before she returns.
In her space godship.
Man.
God.
What a dammit.
I would love to see a popularity poll for North America, but that actually had enough outreach
to reach people who Final Fantasy XIII was their first Final Fantasy and not just a completely
easy to be fair.
Yeah, exactly.
It's already been done over and over and over and it's called the Game Facts Character
Battle.
That's as close as you can possibly be.
Does Lightning ever get near the top?
No.
Teablock with a fucker.
Cloud and Sephiroth get there every year.
Not necessarily the top four, but fucking Kate Synth would be above Lightning.
Oh, Kate Synth's way more interesting than Lightning, in every way.
The real sadness of all this is that like, okay, let's push a cool female character for
Final Fantasy, which is the most noble of goals.
Please do that.
You fucked it up.
And that ties into, I can't let people forget Toriyama's statement when asked about Lightning
around the release of 10.2 or the preview cycle of 13.3, he's like, I'm really proud
to have Lightning as a main character in this game, because she's the first strong female
character in Final Fantasy history.
And everyone went, what the fuck?
You helped invent Yuna.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
I can't believe this guy.
It's also strong, doesn't equate emotionalists and not interesting.
Like, do a thing, create a character, please.
I dare you.
At some point during the interview, you just had star sound of fapping.
People liked Cloud a lot, because for most of the game, and FF7, Cloud isn't just a
cool guy, he's falling apart, he's a fucking mess.
Plus, at the time, in 96, 97, that was a popular character type, now not so much.
All this being said, did you guys check out the new 15 trailer?
Uh, new one?
It came out about a day ago.
Okay, when you say new, do you mean it went up on Sony Japan's YouTube channel?
And there was a rematch up of clips we've already seen?
With a little bit of new stuff?
Wasn't there a bit of new stuff in there?
No.
Had any of us watch this?
It may have used us.
It had his battle against the giant beast thing.
It had the show off of the, I guess his dad, and it had those shots in there, but it had
a couple of other segments that I don't recall.
His buddy doing assists with him in battle.
Yeah, totally.
Okay, so there was two trailers that came out at E3, there was the one that we all saw
at Sony's conference that blew everything away, and there was one they put up that was
a combat demonstration trailer, and it included footage like that, yeah.
And you could see that if you haven't, because it's got a lot of cool stuff.
Well, the first thing that...
Like, streaming is so trick-n-stick-car.
Yeah, okay, that was in it, that was in the first one.
Yeah, so I'm like, does this have, what's it called, the system again?
The thing that lasts the most.
Oh, the punch laser system.
Does it have the punch laser system?
Exactly!
You know, everything goes flying out, finds the nearest car, and finds the next thing.
I think we're going to enter a new era of punch lasers.
It's happening.
I don't know what it is, really.
FF50 looks really good.
Yeah, that's a thing.
Where I was going with this is that the, no matter what, no matter how cynical you are,
this looks pretty good.
15 looks great.
Like, even though every single character is the most numeral, bait, designed character
ever.
Like, someone clearly told him to hold off, because they look way closer to, like, advent
children characters than they do to, like, hit some of his Kingdom Hearts abominations.
Like, every character is designed to make fangirls go crazy, like, all the boys.
And they are!
And they are, but I don't know what it is, or I'm like, oh, this is so cool!
They're fine, and they're wearing normal clothes, whatever.
I'm kind of afraid that they're all being like you.
What you were describing is the actual popular aesthetic of modern Final Fantasy.
Not what 13 looks like, but what, like, 8 and 10 look like.
Just this super weird, like, hyper Japanese, future shit that you get, for some reason,
you go, yeah, yeah, I like this, and it seems like it's also delivering a bit on the promise
of Agni's philosophy.
Yeah.
In a way.
Because it looks really nice.
And I believe the villain guy that you see, is he wearing, like, a white mage robe, or
something like that.
It looks like it's definitely trying to throw that image out there, right?
Well, all the mages and stuff that seemed evil, quote-unquote, as far as we see in the
trailer, were wearing, like, the white mage robes.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, that's interesting.
If that game sucks, then just burn the whole company to the ground.
Just burn this motherfucker down!
Just...
At least let him take a second to have it bring to the default.
Give the entire company over to Phil Rogers, and just let it become Eidos' own Square Enix.
Making gecks for the rest of the game.
If that game sucks, turn Square Enix into Eidos' mobile game developer.
Whatever you do, don't make Hitman into some weird mobile thing.
That one looks cool, though.
It looks really stupid.
You don't think it looks cool?
I don't like it at all.
Why not?
I'd rather make it a new IP.
No, but Hitman!
No, you love Hitman!
I think it looks cool.
You're such a dick, Hitman!
With the release of...
With the release of 15, that's pretty much cement-
Like five, six years from now?
It pretty much cements that Final Fantasy can be any genre it wants to be, right?
It is not strung to any sort of RPG elements anymore.
It used to be.
Unfunctionally, it can be.
Like, 12 was like, we're getting away from the numbers.
But even 12 was like, firmly in RPGs.
But at the same time, it was firmly in RPG.
But Final Fantasy can only go into genres that the developers of Final Fantasy have already
had success in before.
Final Fantasy 15 looks like Kingdom Hearts 3 slash Final Fantasy.
Like, made by who?
Nomura and his team.
So, if I have confidence that they can totally pull that off.
That they've been working diligently for the last 830 years on.
And because it's been such a slow burn, a slow cook, no one is going to flip tables over
the full, all-it-out action and no RPG elements.
Or give me a game by now.
As long as it's a really good game.
Sure.
Final Fantasy 15 has the possibility of being RE4 for Final Fantasy.
Watch that hope.
It's a full blown action game, but when you pause it, it looks like an FF Pause menu.
So everyone's like, oh yeah, no, totally.
Yeah, you have an inventory.
You pause it, and there's the menu button, which looks exactly like FF6's menu option.
But if you pause it, like, fake battle ATB things come up.
Just for screenshots.
I miss a license board.
I hope they bring back, like, Kookie Final Fantasy stuff.
Because they'd always had that, like, sense of humor a little bit.
That 15 does not look like it would.
No, no, no.
15 looks like the perfect place for the most Gonzo shit.
Like, what if all your guys operated a host club as, like, a side mission?
Well, that'd be fun.
It's not fun.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
Your game is motivating Noctis to be cool and healthy.
Yeah.
Noctis is that guy sitting at a coffee shop writing his manuscript looking pouty.
And then a girl walks by and goes, just, beesh.
Stop it.
No.
I will not stop splooshing on this podcast.
Just make sure to be patient.
You guys get splash guards.
No, never.
That's fucking Sasuke.
He's just.
He's Sasuke.
Oh, damn it.
You can't unsee it.
You can't unsee it.
You love it.
You can't unsee it.
He's not going to be like Lightning or he's going to be like a whatever.
Don't care about emotions.
You know what?
He can be like that as long as they have other characters that don't make me want to kill
myself.
Yeah, no.
That's the thing.
The only good character in FFXIII is Sas.
Or Sas?
Sas.
Everybody else is just the worst.
I thought Snow was cool, but then they turned out they made him not cool.
Oh.
That's a popular main character type in a lot of Japanese media.
You mean almost all of them?
Like, yeah, like Teen Guy that's just like fuck the world, everything sucks.
Like, I thought they cheated.
People discussed me.
That's what the kids are like.
I thought they achieved.
Sinicism to the next level.
Square Enix, I thought they achieved the height of that type of character with Neku.
And he kind of.
But he's good.
But Neku's not a bad guy.
No, no, he's not a bad guy.
But he starts as the most new man.
Yeah.
He's cynical.
He's cynical.
And then he now has his own right after it.
I'm ready for an Autistopy Squall 2.0.
Thank you.
Does Squall have such a dipshit that I love him?
No, that's what I want.
I wanted it to be this mopey dipshit that I was like fuck you.
He's got vertical ellipses.
Oh, yeah.
I think the most extreme version of that character type I can think of is the main guy from Gantz.
Yeah.
He like sits and watches Ahopo fall in train tracks.
And then people are like, we gotta save him.
And he's like, ah fuck.
Really?
We gotta save some guy's life?
This is bullshit.
Liam, remember in the Lego movie where the girl asked Batman to help him?
And he goes, yeah.
And his head spins around and he does it.
Oh god.
And his eye roll.
Like it's that type of like, do I gotta...
And to close out the Final Fantasy talk, we have the not so last last word on the Final Fantasy 7 remake.
Yes.
It has changed.
It's subtle, but it has changed.
It changed a little bit.
It has changed from, it's impossible, shut up, stop bothering me to, it would take a lot.
Well, the last word before and now.
It was believe me.
It was when Yoichiwara said, we will not remake Final Fantasy 7 until we make a game that surpasses Final Fantasy.
And other people saying, shut up, stop.
No.
And the last stop talking to me and the sentiment of making that FF7 demo on PS3 was the stupidest thing we've ever done.
Clearly this reflects that Final Fantasy 15 is a better game than Final Fantasy 7.
That's expect Final Fantasy 7 HD.
That sentence though is a really good one because it makes everyone who's clambering go, hmm.
You're right.
Beards are stroke.
You're totally right.
You haven't surpassed.
The newest, the newest word is what?
The newest word is.
I love the word you know this.
The newest word is Kitase basically saying, I, I.
What he says is really reasonable actually.
The staff availability and budget would be the largest thing I've ever undertaken.
It would be huge.
We talked about this a little bit before.
He said, it would be my life's work and I don't have it within me to begin this.
Right now.
Right now.
It's not impossible, but I need to be more hype about the idea.
Exactly.
Because I don't, I can't yet begin what I would consider my life to be.
The headline I saw, the headline I saw specifically was, believe me when I say, no, like believe
me when I say it's too much work.
Totally.
It's a large amount of work.
It almost feels like there's someone with a gun to his head off, off screen.
He's like, believe me, wink, wink.
Please save me.
I don't want to do this.
Could you imagine it?
Oh, oh, oh, I see the sentence.
It's, um, but you must believe me when I say it would take a lot to happen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Could you imagine in the remake, they like fold in just for shits and giggles before crisis
and advent children.
A little bit of sass like a vault.
Dude, that's exactly where I would expect that to go.
But yeah, way to ruin a really good game.
That's the whole thing.
Is there shit in comparison?
We don't know about before crisis.
We don't know anything about it.
You can get opinions on it.
No, because the Turks are cool, but we never got to see that game anywhere before crisis
was okay.
Yeah.
I love the Turks.
I want to be reading it.
Like look how good all of those were compared to like how good FF7 was.
Like even if many of them had the same people, it's like crisis scores pretty good.
It's no fucking FF7.
Well, the other way this article could have went is, please believe me, Gact is holding
it back.
This is the time where Gact is closing the gates.
He's like, no more of this.
Gact is such an asshole.
He came in on crisis score and I'm certain he made them set him up as the coolest guy.
And that game cliffhangs with the implication that Gact will be back in the future as super
Sephiroth.
And George of Cerberus also adds to that story point and then Gact is, no, I don't want to
do it anymore.
And so now that story has nowhere to go.
Because then Gact is like, this bores me more fist.
Well, I was going to say, did you more berserk?
Did you not catch where like he did the same thing with Fist of the North Star?
Oh my God.
And he did the same thing.
With berserk.
With berserk movies.
He did the same thing with Gundam.
He brought back Gundam Zeta and voiced the characters.
Stop it, Gact.
He just fucking does what he wants.
I think that equals out.
So now you have to, like you made a new FF7 or anything.
You'd have to have like a note somewhere.
It's like, and then Soldier G just dies.
Was it Genesis?
Genesis, yeah.
That being said, just one more fight with Angeo and Sephiroth.
Yeah, sure.
No, we need more pretty boys because we didn't have enough, right?
Crisis score.
Angeo was cool.
Yeah.
Angeo was Cloud's original design, right?
Is that it?
I don't know if he was such a real guy.
I think he was.
Maybe.
He was the Starkiller for Cloud?
Something like that.
Like an older 30-year-old guy with black hair.
I have a real fucking Darth.
Whatever the fuck Starkiller was all about.
You mean Luke Starkiller?
Luke Starkiller.
He was a 65-year-old alien.
Last Order has a special place in my heart because when I first saw it, it was like totally
with a bad, bad sub.
Oh, yeah.
And it was when Seafa's dad is dying in the street after Sephiroth rags all the shit.
And he grabs her dad and she goes, Cheer up!
Like, it's supposed to be like hanging there, but the translation is he's got like this huge
hole in his chest and she's like, Cheer up, dad!
I love that shit.
I should be remembering the cool choreography of the fights with the Sephiroth kids and
the children.
But all I can remember is every fucking detail on that cell phone.
Yeah.
Every single detail.
Guess what?
The movie did its job then.
Yeah, yeah.
Proud of it.
God, that's such a sick-looking cell phone.
Best fight, though, by Fargo Matifa.
Yeah, sure.
I was going to go and find that one.
Distracted by the accents on the subtitles, though.
Which I knew they had to put in.
Accents on the subtitles.
They put accents for every character on the subtitles to represent, like, this is the
Kate Synth accent.
Oh, that's lame as shit.
This is the, you know, to represent, like, the western version of the Osaka accent.
Like, Sam is just, like, put on the fuck filter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was pretty stupid.
And Sid is just like, Hey!
You're doing Farid of Barrett's subtitling.
Barrett was never the most race-conscious character.
I knew.
I wouldn't call him eloquent.
But don't, I don't have to read that.
I can already hear it.
No, read it too.
Anywhere.
In Japan, they're all right.
Barrett was edgy.
He fucking swore.
That was crazy.
Yeah, you damn fool.
Yeah, like little exclamation points and punctuation and shit when he said fuck.
Ain't no spoony barns around here.
That was crazy.
Yeah.
Yo, guys, change your Kickstarter passwords.
I already did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did it.
Do it.
This is just a public service announcement.
Kickstarter got hacked.
Change your fucking password.
Yep.
No credit card details.
We're taking them.
Change your password, though.
Your password's compromised.
I'm getting really sick of changing all my passwords.
People, stop hacking shit.
I have like 80 services that I had to go through.
I went to my fucking Chrome and I hit settings and went down to my passwords.
How many of this email that I have associated with Kickstarter have the same password as this one?
50?
Great.
Time to password reset 50 websites.
Oh, you did you?
Because I just keep multiple and I'm just keeping track of those.
You just rotate through until you get the right rotation.
No, I have four rotating passwords now.
I have them grouped in order of importance of the site.
I know what level of password I have.
I technically do that.
I have five rotating passwords and one of them is only for PayPal.
Okay.
Because I don't want nobody getting in there.
That'd be bad.
They could take all Matt's money away.
Is the password Ashley?
Baby Ashley.
Speaking of acting like babies.
This could be about anyone.
I finally gave in and said we're going to be introducing a re-review policy.
Guess what?
That sucks.
We're going to be able to go back in time.
That's terrible.
And change things in the past.
Hey guys.
Backpedaline.
I think they're not.
Their reasoning is good though.
No, it's not.
They're the reason that they give them their actual reason is terrible.
What game are we all thinking of?
Sim City.
Oh wow.
You're not in sync right now.
No, but he's right.
I know what you're thinking.
What am I thinking?
You're thinking of Godhead.
Absolutely.
But they don't care.
They care about Sim City.
That's the thing, right?
Because I'm reading this thing and they're like they're not going to go back and re-review.
Of course not.
Of course not.
But I see that as the shining example of here you go.
Here you go.
The shining example is when they fuck up review positively and they get outed at like frauds.
Yes.
Like Polygon did.
And then the saying, okay, you have the old idea in almost every reviewing website was
you as a company, one shot to give your game and that game better be good when we get to
look at it so that, you know, your review is good and it's accurate.
So, you know, launch day, it's not super fucked up or whatever.
Right.
And I think that should also apply to writing a review.
Absolutely.
You get one shot when the game comes out to make it good.
Here's the thing.
If you wrote a review for say Sim City and it was all based off internal tests before
the game went live and then the game turned out to be an unworkable broken piece of shit,
you fucked up with your review and you should not be able to take it back.
Yeah.
The thing is though, the thing is though is that the difference between what you said
were like it was positive bullshit.
Right.
Like that makes you look like a scumbag whereas the putting God hand at a three on 10 and
then putting it calling it one of the games of the console is just incompetent.
So I feel like it shows different levels of.
Well, to be fair, the timeline on that is so long that a bunch of the staff must have left.
But that's different.
They wrote a bad review.
So, yes.
The reason they're doing this.
So, yeah, no.
Well, that's not that.
Well, the reason they're going into this in particular.
They want people to think that's the reason.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Let me just get to it.
Then fucking get to it.
Don't talk about God Hand.
Because they basically reviewed Minecraft and League of Legends and of course the shit
storm from those two games is going to be uncontrollable where the game comes out.
They give it a review and then the games evolve over the years.
Yes.
And as they get more complex and become actually better products.
I agree.
They decided that they should give it a more fair shot by reflecting what these changes.
I agree with the review.
Sorry, I agree with the logic.
Yes.
But not the execution.
You should not go back and change the review.
You should write a new review and it should be written by somebody.
By somebody who didn't write the original review.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean if we reviewed that Attack on Titan free game and then went back to it now and
saw like all that ridiculous amount of content that was introduced.
It would get a better score.
Or even killer instinct in a couple months.
Totally.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
Instinct would get re-reviewed if it came with a physical box of all the content.
That's where it makes sense to me.
It is a problem with the current state of games that are constantly being updated.
And I don't think reviews serve those games well.
I think word of mouth serves those games well.
I understand that puts big review places in a weird position because they don't have
the staff to have a rotating review every week of all the games that they have.
There's already so much that it cost you.
Ultimately though, I can't help but roll my eyes when I think about this shitty reviews
that were done over the years and the fact that it took League of Legends and Minecraft
to finally make them do this.
But why not those two games?
Absolutely.
Are you saying they're bad games?
No, no, not at all.
They're the poster childs for the exact plot.
But it's just like if you had integrity, you would have noticed this with games that
weren't the biggest examples ever.
But at the time it wasn't an issue.
It was just a gym from writing says God hands bad.
And who else is on the internet to say no?
I want to elaborate slightly.
They used the example of like Minecraft sucked the day it came out.
But then it got way better, right?
So our old review doesn't work.
So why was that thing in place?
So that developers didn't rush games and, you know, have fucked up versions that they
would just fix later, right?
So now you have a situation is like, oh, if I fuck up my review and everyone hates it
and it turns out it's complete garbage, three days after day one when people need it,
I can just change the score.
I can just lower the score.
Like there's a difference between a review being outdated and it being like, I'm an idiot.
That's why I think the Polygon Sim City one is probably the worst example of like,
what do they give it?
Like an eight or nine?
Like if it first came out?
And then they said, oh no, it's broken.
We give it a four after people who read our review bought it.
It's too late.
Like if you're going to have day one reviews, it should serve the day one customer.
But again, that is a different website.
Was it EA who made all the reviewers call and review the game at EA's thing?
That's right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Totally.
And I'm not, I don't want to be yelling at IGN in particular, just this concept, like
this reviewing concept.
It's going to be a day one review for people who are going to buy it the first day, changing
it a week later, helps no one.
It should be like what you said, a second review if it warrants it.
Like way down the line.
Way down the line.
And it would be funny though, isn't it in like a, like let's say in a year, they do
review God Hand, they're like, well, we re-reviewed God Hand.
Still sucks.
Two out of ten.
And IGN stands by this.
And how did...
While IGN Italy gets it.
So many weird logistical issues.
Like, do you re-review every Assassin's Creed game at the end of its DLC cycle?
Yeah.
Do they re-review those big chunks of DLC separately?
Yeah.
It's a big story.
Super confusing.
I would think the difference is like those aren't part of the base game.
Whereas League adding like a new map and like what is it, ten thousand new heroes or
whatever.
Left behind gets its own reviews.
And it's deservedly so.
Yeah, absolutely.
All this.
They still don't have parts.
No one's rewriting the last one.
It's not a core component of the last one.
All this says to me is all I would do anymore is go to Metacritic and get a general idea
and then go to the NeoGav topic and see what people are saying.
Or if I follow somebody on YouTube who is like into that genre.
What do you guys think of it?
Oh, okay.
Like it's reviews.
It impacts as good as that too.
Because you get a bunch of opinions from less informed people.
At least informed people.
That is actually worthwhile in its own respect.
When you mix all of these different things together you get a really concrete base.
Wow.
Data-sourcing it.
Not bad, not bad.
What user fucked?
Bullshit headline of the week goes to...
Quantidream founder David Cain ordered France's highest decoration.
Now...
Here's...
Do you have a comment?
I was really, really quickly.
I'm super pissed that Liam was the one that got to go to France.
Because if I did, I'd have tomatoes ready for that conference.
My girlfriend, the moment I read that off, because I read it off, because I was rolling my eyes too,
she said, I've got tomatoes if you want to go.
Really?
And I checked the date and it's in March.
This is offensive to everyone in the past who has also received this award.
Here's the rub, my friends.
Because I guess you guys might not have come up to this stage, right?
You know where this is going, right?
Please tell me it was a thing where they realized what they did and then took back the award.
But it's more of a straight up like, oh, this is how the press works.
Okay.
So the headline is David Cage gets France's highest award, right?
And we all go...
For bravery.
And we all go...
No, it's legitimate.
We all go, what the actual fuck?
It's called the Legion of Honor Chevalier Award.
Basically get knighted, is what it is.
What no one is saying...
France doesn't have a knight.
...is the actual headline...
The actual horse guy on the chess board.
The actual headline is David Cage gets an award for working 20 years at his job.
Isn't it 25?
20 years.
20?
He's been started.
He started in 1994.
So congratulations, you didn't get fired?
Yeah.
So this is the highest honor France can give you?
Which is why the press is bullshit.
Because the only thing about this award is you worked at your job for 20 years.
This makes no sense.
Exactly.
It's such a non-news article.
But when you say that, when you use the right words, you create a stirring fucking thing.
I guess you like this.
We're all trolls.
This is super non-news.
France creating new forms of trolling as well.
Because you have to think about where we are in our lives and the games we played when
we looked at this article.
I looked at the headline and that was all I clicked on.
But I disagree.
Look at big creations from France.
And the guys who choose who gets knighted and who doesn't, don't look at it and say,
oh, all of these games have issues.
They look at it and say, these are big things from France that have a global...
Totally.
You're right.
No, you're right.
But I'm just saying, I'm piggybacking on what Willie said about how this is how the media
works is that everyone in America or some large percentage don't like David Cage's games.
So when you see that headline, you're just, well, I know all I need to know.
But we're going to knight the Beatles because Back in the USSR is a great song.
Yeah.
No, but this is...
You can't trust the media.
You can't trust reviews.
The only people you can trust are your pets.
Oh, there you go.
Well, like when did Indigo Prophecy come out?
2005?
Like he had 11 years before Indigo Prophecy.
Well, there's on and on.
It was not 2005 because we were hanging out in college when it came out.
Yeah.
That was 2004.
Yeah.
Then we played the demo in 2004.
Yeah, exactly.
Then maybe the game actually came in 2005.
In any case though, do not get trolled by this stupid thing going around.
It's hard to not get trolled.
It's really hard.
Okay, but like after you read the second sentence that informs you what the criteria is, it's
not a purple heart.
Okay, he didn't dive on a grenade.
No.
He didn't get fired for 20 years.
He made artistry and promoted France.
Yeah.
Sure.
Not a big deal.
Yeah.
So I had to be honest with you.
Your research dramatically improved if there was like an unlockable baguette in scarf mode.
Or you dropped all your breadsticks.
I mean, dude, like Rovio got Finland's Innovation of Innovations Award like two years ago or
three years ago or so.
No, like it makes sense in the context.
You're from this country.
This country like said, hey, you made it.
Thanks for doing a big thing.
Now I can't, no, because Pat fucking said it's hard not to get trolled.
I can't stop thinking about tales got trolled.
Yeah.
It's hard not to get trolled.
Trolls are everywhere.
Everywhere.
Be careful.
Yeah.
Um, whatever.
I'll take the half second to say the other non-news article.
Oh, there we go.
It's totally not a thing, but everyone apparently thinks it is.
Yeah, guess what?
Ellen Page is gay.
That's not a surprise.
What is Woolie's reaction?
How does he?
Oh my God.
What if it's no dudes, she's, it's been super known for a while.
Not super known.
Not even rumored.
Even then.
But then when she comes on SNL and does a skit basically saying it to the world, it's super
known.
I don't even watch SNL.
Sure.
Oh no, but more importantly, no one actually pays attention to what Ellen Page is doing
until a big news thing like this starts running.
But no, more importantly than that, seeing my feed just explode with it and people go
holy shit.
I don't care.
I don't care.
Really, guys.
It's a none of my business.
That's why I think it was not super known.
Also, I like the part how no one pays attention to where I say I'm a fan of Ellen Page, but
being a fan doesn't mean being attracted to it.
No, no, that's what it means.
No, that's what it means.
Right?
Woolie, that's the dictionary definition.
I'm a fan of double my cry.
I'm attracted to it.
I love Amy Poehler.
She's awesome.
I am not attracted to Amy Poehler.
I am also weirdly not attracted to Amy Poehler at all.
But that's my point.
I'm a huge fan of Ellen Page, but you're attracted to Mia Fe.
Mia...Tina Fe?
Tina Fe, sorry.
Sure.
Everyone's attracted to Mia Fe.
Tina Fe.
Tina Fe.
But the point is, is that I just the amount of like, oh my god, please react and give
me a thing to dream.
What dream, dude?
Not only have I known this for so long, it's not even a thing for me.
And here's a spoiler for everybody who did not know already, gay people exist.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
They're around.
We all, like, this is the same thing as if Emma Stone said she was gay, or a predator
said she was gay.
Emma Stone comes out and says she's black.
That would be something.
I would not see that coming.
Or the entire series of persona video games, like, people are going to tell us that.
Yes.
But it's just like, it's like she never announced it, but there's been so much.
But dude, she kissed Iceman.
How could she possibly be gay?
We've already wasted too much time on this non-issue.
Yeah.
Any actual news?
Yeah, there's other stuff.
I just needed to get that out there.
Your summary is the best part.
She's a lesbian.
She's awesome.
I will continue to be a fan of her awesomeness.
It's fine.
Because nothing has changed.
Right?
I think everyone at this, I'm going to sound naive here.
But I think that everyone on the internet should maybe grow up a little bit.
Instead of not at all.
Though Felicia did cutting her hair though, that's just unacceptable.
Right?
Right?
I don't remember saying that, or even knowing about it.
What are you talking about?
I'm the internet guy.
What happened?
Moving along.
Hold on, I'm going to say a word.
Everyone's going to get scared.
Anita Sarkeesian.
That is a person that exists.
That says, chill down nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My nothing is getting chill.
That's pretty good.
Hey.
Wait.
Just because I heard a very similar thing as someone goes, like, wait, don't you really
love, like, Blank or Ellen Page?
Like, no.
Are you confusing me with no one?
Nothing.
Exactly.
There's all these fun ways to say that.
Yeah.
Exactly.
No.
Now that our social justice is over for the week.
There you go.
What else is left?
Our quota.
Well, killer is dead though.
They make us do it.
Killer is dead.
Killer is dead on PC has announced that it too is gay.
What?
Oh, that changes everything.
But the announcement is gay.
Do you mean that it's super hard?
If they've introduced nightmare mode.
It's like, I know.
We're getting weird.
We're just getting a weird place.
Oh, no.
Your Mondo is happening.
You have some romance dudes.
I played that.
I would play that super hard.
You're morphing my silly joke into real context.
I'm afraid and I don't, you know, anyway.
Hey, it's 20 bucks.
Sure.
Or 20 pounds.
About a dollar.
For now, yeah.
20 bucks.
I don't care.
I'll double dip.
That would maybe lead to somehow a No More Heroes 1 and 2 HD super thing on the PC.
What planet?
Would it lead to that?
It's the same.
Because Grasshopper working on PC is what I mean.
You guys all know Matt's shrug face.
He's doing that now.
He's like dream world, whatever.
It just shows that Grasshopper can do that.
They're comfortable with doing it.
It's a good thing.
It's a shame because even if that were to exist, like No More Heroes doesn't play good off the Wii.
The first one?
It plays bad on the PS3.
Well, that's what I mean because when I played the PS3 version, it wasn't great.
But I meant like for bug-wise and graphical-wise.
Yeah, exactly.
But whatever.
Just play it on Dolphin.
Just play it on the thing I don't need.
Just play it on Dolphin.
Yeah, but it would look pretty if it ever did happen.
Sure.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, I'll double dip because I really want to see this difficulty mode.
It's really, really interesting sounding.
Yeah, you have to do the connection.
It basically says, you know that finishing move where you build up and then everything goes black?
You cut the head off?
Yeah.
That's like more or less the only way to kill an enemy.
Yeah, no, there's that.
You know, remember we had to do that mission mode where that was the only way to do it?
Yeah, it was super hard.
It was impossible.
Yeah, no, the dodge rush, the headshots, and the lock-on.
That's the only way to do it.
And there's no more gaining, choosing what you want to get either-wise.
What a great idea for, like, not that much work for a completely different way to play
the entire game.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, it underwhelmed me just enough to not really care that.
Yeah, me too.
Oh, I'm not going to play it, but I will buy it.
No, because I want to support weird Japanese shit on Steam.
Yeah, that's for sure.
You know what else looks really gorgeous?
Ground zeroes?
Yes, it does.
Dude, it looks so fucking pretty.
It looks on certain machines.
Oh, you know, hold it back, hold it back.
You got to keep it together.
You're too bad.
You got to hold it together, too.
I'm bursting at the seams with peas.
So the funny part and the clever part, actually, about how they put this out there-
Oh, it's genius.
When Konami puts out the screenshot comparison, because they say, here it is.
Take a look at it.
No, but they're smart about it.
They're super smart.
They did this almost.
You can see the Microsoft and Sony blessing all over this page.
Let's put side-by-side screenshots of the PS3 version and the PS4 version.
And the Xbox One version and the 360 version.
And I think the PS3 and 360 versions as well.
No, no.
Just the two.
Just the Sony to Sony and Microsoft to Microsoft.
The family.
Old gen to new gen.
And then friends to them all together.
You can do the click to see the exact pixel switch into the next gen version.
And you're like, holy shit, wow, this next gen shit looks awesome.
And then you get to the little tiny baby chart where it says that the old gen versions run at 720.
Yeah.
At 30 frames a second.
The Xbox version.
The Xbox-
Current new gen version.
The Xbox phone is 60 FPS at 720.
And PS4 is at 1080, 60.
But furthermore.
In addition.
If you are trying to be one of those fans that's going to run and grab all the screenshots
from all of them and put them together and do the comparisons.
Uh huh.
You can't.
Why is that?
Because the locations shown are totally different.
There are some that overlap.
However, there are some overlap.
But they often have like the Sony and Microsoft ones are all different locations.
So you have to get in a really crazy shit like find similar fences and it's super difficult.
So pixel heart that shit.
It's also silly to get to that.
Oh wait.
I like to do it.
Stop being silly.
Also that's a lot of work for two hours of gaming.
Yeah.
Now we love Metal Gear.
I love Metal Gear.
I personally.
We're all still buying this.
We're all still buying this game.
But I personally am very, very disappointed with how short the game is.
As far as it's just the main story.
For how much?
Yeah, but you don't care about anything.
Yeah.
No, I don't care about things.
You'll spend any money for things that you like regardless of what they are.
Mirror's Edge is barely four hours.
I would be happy if this game was four hours.
For how much you paid for it.
Of story.
Of story, I think you're saying.
Of story.
It remains to be seen if the main story is an hour, but there is side content that I could play for two or three more than I would not be upset.
Okay.
But if I spent 105 minutes with this $30 game.
You know it's one mission.
Yeah.
No, there are side stuff as well.
Many, many things emit, but it's one big mission.
But there is still quality to money or time to money is not the best metric in video games.
But there are certain layers that make you go, what the fuck?
Okay.
So I'm going to propose the alternative.
You get nothing until 2015.
2048.
Right?
You get nothing.
Yeah.
You just hear about Metal Gear and Phantom paying for the next couple of years.
Which is how we've done it for a decade or more.
I don't know why it's a issue now.
So this is a worse?
For $30 maybe.
Personally, rather this because I paid $60 for the Revengeance demo, which was 20 minutes long.
The $60 also had one of the greatest action games on it as well.
Which?
So we two.
Okay.
Why are you being...
No, that was the misprint.
That was the misprint.
Okay.
That's pretty good.
Ground Zeroes is an hour, maybe two hour game that is a smaller area in scope to Ground Zeroes that will come later.
And it acts as kind of like a paid demo, right?
Can you think of any other games that came out during this generation that had similar business models?
Oh, absolutely.
Something called Dead Rising K-Zeroes.
I was...
Yeah.
Do you remember how much that cost next to nothing?
Right.
That's the point.
It's overpriced.
Did you look at those screenshots though?
What?
No.
No.
No.
Well, we're talking about content.
We're talking about content, not graphics.
Sure.
If you want to make the graphics nicer, fucking make the graphics shittier and drink less.
I mean, I'm talking about cost in general.
I don't care.
That's not my problem.
Okay.
I get it.
It's not your problem.
And you as a consumer, you don't have to care about that.
But because I'm a huge fan and I'm a sucker, I'll buy it anyway and I'm mad about it.
And it's probably going to be phenomenal.
Totally.
All this really comes down to is just like, I'm not that bothered by that.
I'm okay with that.
No, me neither now.
That's all?
So what if you paid $60 for it?
Like how much money does it cost?
At what point does it get?
Well, what if the graphics were photorealistic, then you'd be lucky to pay $60.
A fine hour of content.
For me, it's just, I feel like the price staggering is a bit steep.
And I wouldn't mind if all the versions were $20.
I wish this would become totally reasonable with $10 taken off every version.
Absolutely.
Okay, so let's take a travel back in time.
What if the tanker chapter was offered first?
Well, that was again $60 for the demo.
That one is a better example.
So it sucks.
But they offer the tanker chapter first and then you get the writing chapter later.
That would be 20 and 50.
20 and 50?
Yeah.
I mean, you're still getting like this.
You're really pushing it.
You're really pushing it.
Those profit margins, I don't know.
Like how long did it take?
The tanker chapter is really limited.
Exactly, like there's not a lot.
I would pay 10 for that.
The tanker's probably smaller than what the ground zero stuff is, but at a wide margin.
Like in a world where that did occur, they would probably stick a bit more in the tanker just to not have it.
Yeah.
Well, of course.
But now we're getting into giant hypotheticals.
No, of course.
And I mean, like that is the thing about ground zeroes is they did take it and they did polish it up.
So it's not going to be like a demo you download from Xbox Live that ends with A coming.
No, exactly.
It's going to be a title for all intents and purposes.
And that's why you guys are totally right.
It needs to be seen how right I am.
I want to be wrong.
I want it to be filled with side missions and all sorts of weird shit so that I spend 10 hours.
But I just, I can't pretend that my comfort level has been crushed when it hasn't.
I know.
That's all.
Like $30, I could buy eight former $60 games on the Steam sale.
But Steam is like, the Steam games are free.
Like, you know what I mean?
Yeah, but it's the most extreme example.
Okay, you could buy…
Which people should start following?
You could buy Strider as well as Brothers combined for $30.
And get…
And Strider's a longer game.
And get 10 times the amount of content for the same price.
For the value of your money.
Like, this game does not exist in a vacuum.
The other reason why this bothers me especially is because with how short it is and what the pricing is
and what we know about the Fox engine, it seems like this thing had to exist,
not that it needed to exist, Ground Zero.
They've got to recoup sales.
This thing is so fucking expensive.
They've got to recoup sales wherever they can.
Yeah, because they say that Ground Zero's is going to be, not Ground Zero's,
Phantom Painter's is going to be hundreds of times the size.
Which is cool.
But if this is another franchise, I might not mind it,
but when it's Metal Gear, it's like, I want each part to count.
I don't like it when a Metal Gear game doesn't have some sort of thing in the grand universe
that it needed to happen.
Well, you caught the thing about how Kojima was the one who said,
I was the one who made this happen.
Yeah.
I don't doubt that at all.
I just mean it wasn't Konami marketing who said,
No, but then again, Koji runs Konami.
No, certainly.
Yeah, I agree with that.
You can do whatever you want as long as it says Metal Gear on it.
And like, maybe you did generally feel like,
You're basically telling the truth.
But maybe you did generally feel like, I got to give them something,
but I don't like the idea of the Metal Gear mythos being,
I got to give you something.
So here's this thing, I guess.
But he really, like, despite the fact that
But it's going to be nice and polished and good.
And I will say this, I know how like,
you know how you feel about Peace Walker, right?
Yes, I know how I feel about Peace Walker.
Kojima really wanted to make Peace Walker a lot.
He should have known.
It was important to him to make it.
Same with Acid and all that.
So this stuff is totally here.
Acid is awesome compared to Peace Walker.
But it's like, I still got to play Peace Walker.
But no, you don't.
And no, there's story.
But it's just, this is all him.
Don't get it twisted.
No, no.
Don't flip the script.
I still see like, yo, this engine,
this engine that doesn't even like perform,
like I remember the whole point of the Fox engine
is that it's supposed to be so platform,
like it works on every platform.
And it clearly does.
It does.
It totally does.
Super well.
What are you talking about?
So each one does all these things that only like,
I thought it was supposed to.
Dude, it looks so much better than MGS4 did.
No, it looks super.
And it's on a 360 too.
Super nice.
But like how everyone, almost all the version,
maybe because it's the hardware, but you know.
You just, you just can't get 10 ADP.
There's that patch of grass.
Not that level.
There's that patch of grass.
Not that level.
Not easily.
Even wipe out HD turned out to not be 10 ADP.
There's that patch of grass in the PS3 screenshot
like actually looks a bit better than the PS4.
Oh shit.
Pre-order camera.
But you know what?
So you start moving.
It's not gonna.
But in that one angle.
It's because the lighting's different.
No, it's totally.
It's just really worrying to me that like we hit a nice plateau
in the last gen where two hour games were okay
if they were 10 or $15.
And I'm worried that we'll go into the new era of like
two hour games are okay if they're 30
and a five hour game's okay if it's $120.
Let's also kind of see what they're thinking about
in terms of replay value.
Also, can I, has anyone used the term pre-LC yet?
No.
Because if not, I want to say that that's what this is.
Thank you.
I have now expanded my lexicon.
Because that's exactly what this is.
Okay.
This is DLC before.
And if this was DLC afterwards, would you pay $30 for it?
I don't know.
Maybe.
Think about it.
How many would that, when you're not feasting for like,
when you're not like, famished and you had ground zero?
How did not, if you had, oh, this fucking names.
If you had Phantom Pain.
Yeah.
And then you're like, hey, you're going to have like the
prelude mission afterwards for $30.
How much is Freedom Cry?
Freedom Cry.
15 bucks.
It's 15 bucks.
Okay.
Has anything recently-
Actually, it's 20 bucks standalone, which is a more apt comparison.
But that's what I was going to go on.
I was going to say, has anything recently with all the DLC
campaigns we've been seeing gone for 20?
No.
20?
20?
Blood Dragon was 15.
Blood Dragon didn't count.
The only one I can think of ever is Shivering Isles for Oblivion.
Yeah, for Oblivion, which was 30.
That was a goddamn expansion pack.
That was enormous.
Yeah.
It is, if it's standalone, you know that a lot of those costs go into-
Inferior weird shit.
Submission.
Yeah.
It costs money.
In that context, like, if you had the game, would it be worth $30 more?
Would it be worth $30 after the fact?
The incentive is much lower.
Much lower.
Because you're chomping for it.
You need it.
But on the other hand, like, no qualms paying $60 for Vanquish?
No.
No qualms.
Which is over in a minute.
Yeah, that's true too.
Yes.
That took me four hours to do.
A minute if by four to five hours.
It's $60 for four to five hours.
And how much extra replay-
You throw that bitch on the corner.
And then do those challenges.
If Ground Zeroes is as good as Vanquish, then you will be totally right and I'll be totally wrong.
But that's what I'm saying.
Like, saying a game's length is the direct-
Like, we need to know how good it is.
No, you're right.
You're totally right.
But it's worrying when that's all you have.
Everyone who's played it has said it is the fucking bomb.
Sure.
You're probably right.
But it's still-
I'm worried more about the precedent.
Than the particular game itself.
Remember when people were afraid about Wonderful 101 being too short?
Yeah.
Those days.
I also got to say, like, one of the numbers we got recently, I was talking to Matt about
earlier, was one of the guys who beat it said he got to play two hours, he finished the
story mission, and his ticker said 9%.
Yeah.
But that could be, like-
I hate how we don't get the information as to what that 9% means.
Does that not include the dog tags?
Obviously that's going to include the XOF patches.
Yeah.
But we do know stuff like the XOF patches are how you unlock Shamivu and Deja Vu.
Sure.
So there is incentive to going around and doing this stuff as far as gameplay stuff.
Go collect those flags, I'll tell you.
That base better be filled with tons of weird bullshit like the Grosnegrad is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the environment surrounding it too.
Yeah.
Do we know if it's said, if it's like two hours, is that what the game clock says?
Or is that taking into account cutscenes?
That was the time, the block of time they were given.
Does anyone know how that works in Metal Gear?
No, no.
That was the block of time they were given by Konami.
You have two hours to play.
That was not a game or whatever.
Okay, we'll see.
We'll get back to that in a couple weeks, I guess.
Yeah, just about, actually.
Can't wait.
I gotta play Beast Wars.
Meanwhile, did you say you have to play Beast Wars?
Yes.
I'd rather play Beast Wars than Beast Walker.
That Beast Wars game on PS1 is the goddamn worst shit ever.
No, the N64 version's worst.
Go play Beast Wars.
I love that.
I love that.
That should be a thing.
Go play Beast Wars.
Fight for peace.
Sakurai, right?
The hot shit that he is.
Oh, he is.
The hot shit.
He recently did an interview and...
Sakurai's 15 years old.
Every year.
Every year.
And the headline is, it's actually, I think we knew this,
but I guess being repeated, Smash Brothers was created
because Street Fighter II clones were running amok, basically.
Really? In 1999?
I had created Smash Brothers to be my response
to how hardcore exclusive the fighting game genre had become
over the years.
Oh.
He specifically did not like that Street Fighter II
and like tournament fighters kind of represented
what fighters were and he wanted to go way more accessible.
So Sakurai's the guy who went to the arcade, got smoked
and then got salt and then went home and made his own ball.
I like that story.
I ran with that.
In all fairness, World Heroes is exactly the same.
I can't beat the local guy.
I'll fuck this.
I'll make my own fighting game.
And then for the more, he goes on to say that...
For the more.
He goes on to say that despite the fact that Melee
is the most hardcore version of Smash and technically
like proficient one, he was disappointed with that
being the result.
He did not want that.
He doesn't like those people to have fun with this game.
Yeah.
So this is like his words.
And yet with the new one, there's going to be changes
to Edgeguarding and Little Mac looks the most
like a fighting game character that Smash has ever had.
So it almost feels like he's giving up.
Because you're guaranteed to trip every time.
Tripping's gone.
Tripping's gone too, yeah.
Until they showcase slipping.
And then falling on your ass and eating shit.
They'll make the most technically tournament worthy game
and then just like start taking it down.
Brawl came out before Street Fighter IV, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Because all I can think of is...
He makes Brawl and Brawl comes out and he's like,
yeah, it's a big success.
The new style of friendly fighting game is here.
And then fight Fighter IV.
And then the brutal...
And then the brutal hardcore fighting game genre just came back.
Fighting is a beautiful...
Violence is a beautiful thing.
No, the friendly version.
All until then fighting games were just Smash
and PS2 Mortal Kombat.
And Guilty Gear.
Yeah, Guilty Gear.
And then just, yeah, Street Fighter IV, not great.
Just ruined everything.
No, he'll never beat Kyle now.
He tried to go play for it.
He got smoked again.
Fine, I'll make a better fighting game.
Going along with that other Sakurai news is that he just...
He made some other statements like, yeah, my wrist is also still super...
I was just about to ask if his arms were continuing to rock and explode.
And he's like, I'm still playing with like three controllers in one hand.
Liam, how are your wrists doing?
Still the same as Sakurai.
Alright, you guys have wrists symbiosis.
Yeah, whatever that means exactly.
The more whenever your wrist hurts, that's Smash getting better.
It's gonna be really good.
Oh, my wrists are really sore today.
There must be a lot of feedback.
Oh my god, my wrists are killing me.
I bet a new character was announced today.
It's probably gonna be the best game ever.
Bandana got confirmed to the day.
And then one day your hands just fall off
and the rest of us see that and just ejaculate everywhere.
You're just fucking ejaculating and I'm like running to the hospital.
This is only good news.
Guess what game is gonna be free on PS Plus?
Who cares? Moving on.
What?
What kind of waist of a headline is that?
Cross Tekken is gonna be free.
There you go.
On Vita.
Is that the USM?
No, North America.
Because the way you sounded when you said that, it's like, I hate PS Plus.
I hate these games.
I knew he wasn't gonna say, it's gotta be some shitty fight.
Finally, the cost it deserves.
If anyone out there likes Cross Tekken, it's a good sport.
Does it come with everything?
Yeah.
It's a super technically proficient port of Cross Tekken.
You know what?
If you like Cross Tekken, you will enjoy this otherwise.
It's fun until it sucks.
Which is about one afternoon.
And you know what? If you're not super into fighting games, you'll be fine.
Because you won't even notice.
Exactly. Go play as Kuro at Toro and enjoy yourself.
Go play as fake Mega Man.
And Cole.
30-60-95.
Oh god.
I totally forgot about Cole.
I totally forgot about that dumb bullshit.
Yeah, bring the beat back.
I'm happy Cole's dead.
Yeah, he's replaced with that guy that's not much better.
He's way better.
He looks like a schmuck.
Oh god.
You look like a schmuck.
I do look like, I don't wanna play as me.
Dude, I was just about to say, you wear a beanie all day every day.
I don't wanna fucking play as me.
You have, you even got the chain.
But you're fucking dead.
At least you're a person and you're not shaved head god.
At least I'm a person.
So even if you're a schmuck, you're you.
Do you remember when they gave Cole hair, then they took it back?
Yeah.
No, but that was the worst because they had shitty space marine design and the only thing
they could think up to get away from it was just make him into Nathan Drake.
And they took it back.
Oh my god.
So at least Desmond looks like a person.
Like a person that exists.
His name is Desmond, isn't it?
Desmond.
Oh Desmond.
I was gonna say it's not Desmond.
That's the perfect name for that guy.
Such an improvement.
Yeah, he looks great.
God, yeah.
That game's gonna soon.
That comes at the same week as MGS 5.
Oh.
It's a pretty fun week.
That's the solution to any one of those.
Maybe get hype, but probably not for Blade Arcus from Shining.
Shining RPG.
Jesus.
I was like, what is this?
I'm looking at him.
What am I looking at?
Hey look, another game that says Shining on it that isn't a god damn grid based strategy
RPG.
You motherfuckers.
So it looks like an anime fighter and nothing looks wrong with it, but nothing looks anything
with it.
Which is the worst it could possibly look.
And it's probably never gonna leave Japan and it'll be lucky to leave Japanese arcades.
Depends.
If we get Dengeki Bunko Fighter's Climax, then we're gonna probably see this too.
Probably won't though.
They're right on the same page.
No, but it's one of those like Shonen Jump issues where it's like all the licensing bullshit.
Oh, well that's what I mean.
If we see one, we will surely get the other.
But I mean we have got a chance to see Shining.
Surely get the Shining.
Surely get the Shining.
Get the Shining.
Get the Shining.
I wish we had the fucking peace in the other year.
That was good.
Let's fucking share up for a minute.
Guess what's being made next year that has nothing to do with games?
It's totally real.
Project Nagano?
No.
Wait, no, that's games.
Do you remember Back to the Future 2?
No.
Yes.
Do you remember Power Laces?
Yes.
That he's making them.
Oh really?
The shoes are...
I thought they already did this.
They made a model replica of the shoe.
Right.
But the actual thing that you hit with your hands and they lace up and tighten all your
feet.
How is that even a thing?
They invented it and now it's going to be a...
We have the technology.
Time to start wearing those double ties.
Yeah.
Now I think I believe they're a year too late or two years too late.
2015.
What?
No, it's right on.
Oh, you can show the movie.
Okay.
I was going to say nobody beat them to the chase on this one.
Even if they weren't dead on, Marty fucked with the timeline of Bond.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It can go on.
That's sick news, man.
I love that.
That's a really funny anecdote.
They bring that up because I remember someone at Warner Brothers got like one of those replica
hoverboards.
Yeah.
And they brought it to work.
Everyone, check it out.
Look, it got a hoverboard.
And then Lay asked him, I guess she was ignorant or whatever, she goes, does it work?
And she's like, does it?
And he goes, no.
And she's like, oh.
Yeah.
Is it when you see those really expensive lightsabers that are just the hilt?
Yeah.
But what do you do with it?
No.
What?
Why do you make this?
Technology's advancing so quickly that there's always that moment in your head of like, is
that a rip?
No, it's a prop.
Damn it.
And it always happens.
Let's take a late ass word from our sponsors.
Guys.
Yeah.
Well, Lay, what's up?
Now the last time I believe I informed you about Hulu Plus.
You did.
Yeah, absolutely.
I told you about the awesome shows you can watch.
You did.
I informed you about all the devices you can watch them on.
Absolutely.
But did I tell you about the movies?
No, you did not.
I didn't realize movies were a thing anymore.
Movies, Pat.
Dude.
I feel slighted that you kept this information from us.
If you want, you can head on over to huluplus.com slash super right now.
And you'll get two weeks to check out tons of movies.
Dude, I love movies.
Thousands.
Right?
Every time that I watch.
You can watch, Matt.
The Dragon Tattoo Trilogy.
I love those movies.
They're all there in their original glory.
Yeah, I like the American Virgin Vanity Fair.
And you don't have to what?
I keep trying to slam theater.
Tell the joke.
You cut me off.
Well, no.
I hate going to the theater.
You hate everything outside.
You can semen on everything.
So you should stay home and watch Hulu Plus, where you can check out Resident Evil 1 and
2.
Pat loves those movies.
And there will also be semen everywhere, just like the theater.
At least it'll be friendly semen.
Calm your excitement.
Hey, man, if you wanted to watch Rocky 1 to 5, which I have never done, you should totally
get on this.
Just skip to Rocky 4.
Honestly, you have choices here.
And you know, we all talk about free choices.
We all talk about cool giant robot movies and stuff.
Dude, do they have robot jocks?
Well, why wouldn't you head down and check out Atlantic Rim?
Oh, man!
We never got to see Atlantic Rim.
We were so distracted by the Pacific.
We forgot about the Atlantic during conflict.
And that's closer.
We're on the East Coast.
Exactly.
It kept us from noticing the superior ocean.
Absolutely.
So you head on down, huluplus.com slash super.
Cool.
And if you like it, you sign up, you pay $7.99, and you get as many of these awesome movies
as you want.
And that's after your two for three weeks.
Or you can watch Atlantic Rim forever.
It'll be yours anytime you want on demand.
When's the last time you watched Ninja Scroll?
How about tonight?
Well, I was going to say I watched it every night for like two months, ten years ago,
but I haven't watched it since.
So that's a good time to start.
Why stop a good tradition?
Exactly.
My VCR just chewed up my copy of Ninja Scroll the other night.
Right?
Just tore it apart in front of my eyes.
That's perfect.
Huluplus will never destroy my media.
Exactly, man.
Huluplus.com slash super.
Get on it.
Thanks, Huluplus.
It is letter time.
Holy shit.
It's letter time.
Same time every Tuesday.
It's actually never the same time.
It's inconsistent.
It's like sometimes it's ten minutes later.
It's neighborhood.
It's never at the same time with Pog.
Sometimes we go long.
Sometimes we do it early.
You can see the sign from our radio.
And sometimes we blitzkrieg it like we're doing this week.
Oh, shit.
Because we talk too much about Ground Zeroes.
Talk way too much about Ground Zeroes.
So if you want to write us a letter telling us to shut the fuck up about Ground Zeroes
for 40 minutes, you could write it way.
Liam?
Super best friendcast at gmail.com.
Oh, man.
Even you can be caught on awareness, Liam.
I saw that shit.
Because I was like, what the fuck is our email address?
Be prepared, motherfucker.
Super best friendcast at gmail.com.
What was it, Pat?
Super best friendcast at gmail.com.
No, no.
That can't be time.
Gmail.com.
What was it, Matt?
Shut up.
I don't like this.
I don't like this.
We need two.
Three is too much.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can't give the listener too much information about where to write.
The same information.
The sense of mystique.
Okay.
So, John says.
Hey, John.
They've confirmed that the Die Hard 6 movie is happening.
God damn it.
I already talked about this.
I want to talk about it.
John, you bastard.
So your fault.
The rumor is being pushed further with the possibility that it'll be called old habits.
Die Hard.
Oh, god damn.
Why do they keep coming up with a name that does at least make me smile without dumb it
is?
He's fine.
So sad.
And what do you think of the story being?
I have a fucking think tank for these movie names.
John McClain taking on the Yakuza plus Gruber Jr.
Again?
His son.
No, no.
It was his brother.
It was Gruber's brother with a vengeance.
And this is the send off because he said Bruce Willis said it's going to be McClain's last
movie.
Good.
I hope he dies in this one.
The series will continue with his son.
That's not too bad.
If he goes to Japan and fights in the John Smith Plaza because he fought the Nakatomi
Plaza in America, it should be reversed to a generic.
No, we should just fight the Yakuza in the John McClain Plaza.
That's fine.
Sure.
That's less dumb than the last one.
I'm sure it'll be a fucking disaster.
I'm sure it will, but at least that sounds better.
Was the last one with a vengeance?
No, the last one was it's a good day to die hard.
Wait, there was another one in between them?
Two others in between.
Oh my god.
There's five.
It was live free or die hard.
I can't name them all.
Okay, it's die hard, die hard, two, die harder.
Die hard with vengeance.
Which does not have a three in it.
Then it's live free or die hard.
Then it's a good day to die hard.
I love to end that with old habits, die hard.
That's not bad.
You mean like making bad movies, like die hard two?
Die hard two sucks.
Die hard two is amazing compared to all the others.
What fuck you?
Compared to all the later ones.
Question for Pat, hit 10 Mitsuru.
Oh, like hit 10 Mitsurugi.
Cool, that's a good name.
Asks, Pat, I'm really into Silent Hill these days.
Cool, I'm sorry.
Trying to work on my own fan made audio drama based in the city.
I want to know what you think the most important thing I should keep in mind is when writing about Silent Hill.
Writing about Silent Hill.
Writing stories within it.
What's the most important thing to keep in mind about it?
Keep it to the first three games and focus on their tone.
This is a big question.
Focus on their tone.
Focus on their specific attempts at horror and the differences in between them and their contemporaries.
I'll throw one in there.
Don't give Pyramid Head to other people.
Well, that's part of that.
And that Pyramid Head's tone is unique to his own game.
And then once you got outside of that and he becomes a fucking boogeyman, it's the worst.
He literally becomes the boogeyman.
So those first three ones, everything is deliberate.
Everything is unique to its own genre.
If they're doing homage stuff, like Stephen King stuff or whatever.
And it was a generally different attempt at horror compared to Xayra's Evil or Alon of the Dark or something like that.
So it's tone, I guess.
I probably fucked that up.
No, no, no, that's fine.
I like the differences between it and others.
This is the key thing. I agree with that.
Franktopus wants to know, Liam, what's your favorite bravely default job-job combo or setup?
Ninja.
I'm also going to answer ninja.
Ninja seems fucking OP. I'm like 70% through the game.
Ninja with lore of whatever your strongest weapon is, with multitask and sword magic.
Dude, more than...
Okay, I have ninja miscellany, ninja white magic, ninja sword magic, and ninja...
Ninjas are the best.
Dancer, and it's fucking unstoppable.
Ninjas are the best.
You can't stop them.
Alright.
Because they're fucking invincible.
Dual wheel is too strong.
Dylan.
You have all the abilities for when you dodge.
You get your 1vp, you counter-attack, everything.
Dylan X.
Hey Dylan, son of a bitch.
There's like, there...
Set us up!
Deer dies, I bought Super Gate.
Nice, nice.
We'll work it out.
What's in there?
What do you think the likelihood of a killer instinct port to PC is?
NIL.
3, 2, 1.
Zero!
I said zero.
It's the best thing on the console, they have nothing else.
There's nothing else on the Xbox One.
It's not the best thing on the console if you ask Microsoft.
The reason that people ask that question is because Microsoft gets out every year.
We're really behind the PC.
We're gonna make sure that there are less exclusives to come to the Xbox.
They give these glimmers of hope.
And then it's always a lie.
And then they really shadow run on the PC and you're like, fuck you.
Liam, at the launch event, who was it that they were talking to?
Was it Deadmau5?
Where they're like, hey, what are you exciting for?
It might have been Deadmau5.
For the Xbox One.
And he's like, oh, I'm looking forward to Killer Instinct.
And the interviewer actually said, no, what do you...
None of that, what do you think about Titanfall?
Are you serious?
Let's not talk about that.
It might not have been Deadmau5, but one of the guys who got interviewed,
who was like a semi-famous, maybe it was Deadmau5 during the Spike event.
I gotta find this because I wanna know the wording was let's not talk about that.
What about these other games?
What about Titanfall?
Have you seen Titanfall?
It was a web only thing.
It wasn't on the TV at the time.
This needs to be said.
I haven't played Titanfall yet.
I will update this when I do.
Matt, we were at E3.
Everyone was telling us to be excited about Titanfall.
And every time we saw it at a later date or watched footage, like, yeah, it looks fun.
But where's all this insane, like, game-changing revolutionary hype coming from?
From the marketing.
But it's...
That's it.
It looks okay.
It looks fun.
I think it's just the initial hype is still there.
The guys that actually made Call of Duty are now actually making a new game.
Titanfall looks like it'd be, like, the game-breaking awesome shit if it was released back in, like, 2010.
Well, but also, for me to say, like, the first trailer got everyone's thumbs up.
Yeah, it looked really good.
Then I completely ignored it.
Totally, exactly.
I watched one gameplay thing, and I'm still like, yeah, I can't wait to play Titanfall.
Yeah, me too.
But it's just like...
No, I think that's what hype is coming up from.
My pants are blowing off my body every time I watch...
Hey, hey, hey, guys, look, a shooter.
Even I, and I love shooters.
I'm like, ah, it's a shooter.
You put robots in Call of Duty and gave it a chance.
We forgot to talk about harmonics as a shooter, but hey...
I didn't find any...
Good, because I didn't...
Even Joystick was having a hard time.
I had nothing to say about it.
Hit me with a new question.
Miguel says, you guys have someone in the NFL that's a fan.
Oh!
Brennan Williams of the Houston, Texas happens to be a fan of you guys.
Of the Houston, Texas.
Of the Houston, Texas.
Of the Houston, Texas.
Okay.
His Twitter is great black otaku.
I've heard of this guy.
Wow.
You see the Voltron guy?
He's a huge anime fan.
Nice.
He's a black Goku.
And he tweeted a thing saying, like, listening to the super best friend cast.
How do I be their friend?
Awesome.
What do you guys think?
Yeah!
Hey football guy, teach us how to be tough.
I'm already super tough.
Not very at all.
I'm really tough.
Throw a bug at you.
You're done.
I take band-aids right off.
Yeah.
Oh shit.
And then you'll go to the hospital if there's a bug on it.
I stop messing me with the bug thing.
The bug thing is the best.
You just keep using that against me because I had that panic attack when I saw a centipede.
Yeah.
I can teach you how to be tough.
I used to play football.
But you don't anymore.
You're a too tough bully.
You're a too tough bully.
I'll be your friend too.
Oh my god.
You're a too tough bully.
You're a too tough bully.
I'll be your friend too.
Oh my god.
And he's just going to get killed on the street by a vehicle.
Like a flattened, like a screwdriver.
And I'm not this guy.
I want to be their friend.
I just show up everywhere.
Oh no.
I heard about him before too because apparently he looks kind of like me and some people
are like, he wrote, he made a tweet saying, no I'm not bully.
Right.
Because like he's like an attacker who has dreads and has the same kind of look.
There's only five of you.
Right?
You go to the council.
Yo Brennan, we got to stick together man.
Get in touch.
Anyways.
The black otaku council.
What image am I creating in my own mind?
What do you guys talk about?
I don't know but they wear robes.
So stupid.
And they all love Naruto.
Oh god.
Yeah, that Brennan guy probably doesn't love Naruto as much as you do.
It's hard to love it that way.
That's who you talk about at the council.
You gotta stop pushing Naruto.
Elias says, I just finished Gun Buster and Die Buster.
How do you feel about them?
I haven't seen Die Buster but I've watched Gun Buster.
That is the shit and it gets infinite respect for being the major influence in Gurren Lagann.
Because Breakthrough of the Heaven is Gurren Lagann.
Yeah.
And Gun Buster, it's called Aim for the Top, Gun Buster.
Yeah.
And Cho Ginga coming out of the water, Arms Cross like a badass is a complete 100% homage
to Gun Buster coming out of it.
You should watch it.
It's really good.
I've seen a bit of Gun Buster.
Get me a way to watch it.
You might be interested because you might know one Hideaki Anno as the director of this.
It was his first series.
Yeah, that makes sense.
First thing he directed?
That guy's dead to me now.
Sure, but you like his stuff.
Not anymore.
That third ever movie ruined everything.
Everything going backwards?
No, no, no.
You can't retroactively ruin things that already exist, but it ruins Anno for me.
Okay, okay.
Especially when he comes out and says all sorts of dumb shit like, yeah, I never intended
the characters to be good or the movie to be interesting.
Well, this dude's weird.
He's crazy.
Of course, but from day one, right?
I know.
This is my therapy.
This is not for you.
But that's why I ignore him.
Okay, okay.
Jenny says, um, my question to you guys.
Matt, you're playing with that frog really great.
That frog wants it.
I should give it to it.
My question to you guys is you can choose to either let Platinum Games make a kill-a-kill
character action game.
What the fuck is the or in this?
Or you can stop Michael Bay from making a live action Gern Ligan starring Shiloh Booth.
Oh, oh, definitely Platinum Make the Game.
Platinum Make the Game.
I would choose to stop Michael Bay from making this.
See, that's interesting because I can ignore the movie existing, but I can't play a game
that doesn't exist.
I'd rather have a good thing than stop a bad thing.
Also, Gern Ligan.
Gimme $30, you can kick me in the dick.
Also, Gern Ligan getting super famous because the movie.
And then we get to be-
But sully.
Think about the resurgence of Transformers media since the Transformers-
Then you get to be the asshole who's like, you know-
I was there first.
The original was way bigger.
Like, there's lots of stuff that spawned like directly out of the Michael Bay movies, but
tons of older Transformers shit came back.
Like, all the Cybertron games were old Transformers.
Maybe they'll translate that fucking novel.
Get to make Gern Ligan games.
Oh, did you see that?
High Moon not working on that new Transformers game because they're fucking dead.
They're not happy with that at all.
Not great.
Translate that goddamn novel.
Made by Rebellion.
Made by Edge of Reality.
Which is a shit developer that I worked for.
I don't wanna talk about what did they make.
It's fucking- I forget.
Incredible Hulk for the 360.
That's a good start.
It's not-
And yeah, let's end off with Michael who asks-
I recently bought a Zelda Wii U bundle with Super Mario 3D Wonderful 101 on the second day I had it.
These are good choices.
I went to my friend's house so we could play some Co-op Mario.
I left my bag downstairs and his dog ate through the bag and chewed up my Wii U AC power cables.
Awesome.
Fuck.
He offered to pay for the replacement, but should I let him or go half and half because I feel kind of responsible as well.
Wait, why do you feel responsible?
His dog ate your shit.
His dog is his dog.
He should totally pay for it.
100%, totally agree.
Now, that being said, if you're a super cool friend and wanna go havesies, that's okay, but it's totally his responsibility.
It'll get brownie points for going splitsies, but don't feel obligated.
Nope.
His friend should totally cover it.
You should not feel bad if you don't want to.
If you bring any object into someone's home and some aspect of that house destroys your thing.
Unless you're being negligent.
Like you put your baby on the stairs.
Right, yeah.
But if some aspect of their house-
Say I put a game on Matt's counter and his kitchen fell into the earth.
And my disc disappeared.
I'd be like, well, he owes me for that game, but I'm probably not gonna push it because his kitchen just fell into the earth.
I'll be more concerned that you're living on the 15th floor and there's sinkholes, but whatever.
But since the dog I'm going to assume is fine because it was not plugged in at the time.
You know, fuck that.
The dog should work off.
The dog should pay for it.
The dog should pay for it.
You should do your dishes.
He should-
But barring the dog having monetary abilities, your friend should totally pay for it.
I like it.
I like it.
And if your friend refuses to pay for it, you should beat them up.
Absolutely, yeah.
That's a dog though.
The dog sounds cool.
That's sage advice.
Pretty good.
Have a big cool fight.
Attack people you don't agree with.
It worked out really well for me until I became an adult and became illegal.
You can attack anything you want as long as you're angry enough.
But what if I'm angry enough to escape your attack?
I'm curious to see where this one goes.
Duino says one-shot internet bullet.
You've been sent an email with an attachment, a program entitled gun.exe.
When opened, it has a text field set for a domain address.
You've been given the power to destroy one website, causing all servers to fail and
the site will cease to exist.
Which website do you kill forever and why?
Control, I'll delete.
Done.
Westboro Baptist Church.
That's exactly where my brain went.
Nice.
Well done.
But the only thing is that they still are dicks in the real world.
Yeah, it doesn't stop them.
But if you can stop the press, you know what I mean?
But I'm 100% insane with you.
Westboro Baptist anything.
Okay.
4chan.
I want...
Oh shit.
This is an analogy I will steal from CJC, the creator of Game Facts.
I want to take a giant, diseased lump of cancer and put it into an airplane turbine
and spray it over the entire internet.
Wow.
You take away 4chan, just everything just fucking is ruined.
Everything is ruined because they no longer have a place to go.
The best friends I've asked you does not hold true all the statements that are made by its individual members.
We all do for ourselves.
I like 4chan.
I just want to see the internet explosion of 4chan not existing and people go on a Reddit
and say this simply because when they run your docks and they fucking wreck your shit.
Come on.
No, no, no.
They wouldn't do that, they're nice.
Oh man.
They only do that to the ladies except on kiddies.
I'll come in when they want to stop you, but you want to spread it around.
Because it's funny!
Because what I was about to say is like,
It's hilarious.
I totally get control all delete, but you could probably do something more important with that.
Then get rid of control all delete.
Do you see his other comic quote unquote?
Hey, could you think of anything more important than bringing trolling to the next level?
Did you see his thief comic?
No.
Oh, it was a comic?
I don't go to control all delete.
I didn't find it funny or entertaining in the least.
What if your modified one can just delete the second and third panel?
If he just upload and you just be missing-
That panels?
That works for a lot of webcoms.
Does it?
Yeah, it does.
Control all delete, it's got a particular affinity for it.
And fucked him buckling.
Is that still up the-
Oh yeah.
Everything's still up.
Nice.
Due to hide-
You know, back in college I dated a girl,
and that relationship was toxic, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
and worse gone.
I gotta say, it's the stupidest joke ever,
but if you rearrange the letters in his name,
you get bum tickling.
Tickle your bums, man.
That's the best joke ever.
That's funnier than anything he has ever written.
What's coming up on the channel this week?
The week of Strider.
Whoa.
Strider, here you will never leave Eurasia alive.
Please, live for me, Strider.
I'm going to send you to the pits of hell, Strider.
So yeah, week of Strider.
Also, the finale of I Have No Mouth and I'm a Scream,
is either up today or tomorrow.
And a new playthrough might start this week.
As well as more Yakuza, of course.
We'll never stop playing Yakuza.
Never ever.
That's a job in and of itself now.
Yakuza though, you guys might stop playing that.
Ah, maybe.
I don't know.
You fucking shit.
I don't even know which pronunciations were right.
You did the right one.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
Remember you getting all up in my ass?
No.
No, no, no, no.
I just find it funny because people always point it out.
And I, and like even the way I say like Kamina or whatever,
like people always point these things out.
Why does Pat have to say Mario or whatever?
Mario.
I have people in real life doing that shit to me now.
Well, that's why you gotta be like Liam and just embrace it
and say Zebra's.
Kokiri.
Kokiri.
No, that's not what the fuck you say.
You say Kokiri.
You say Kokiri.
I remember people getting upset about that,
not because you're pronouncing it wrong,
but because you're pronouncing like a complete,
like you're putting your I word always.
You're moving letters around.
It's deleting.
Like K-O-K-I-R-I.
And you're pronouncing K-O-K-O-R-O-R-I.
So it's not even the same word.
Yeah, and what?
No.
Embrace it.
No.
Embrace it.
If you call your mom, that's weird.
Yeah, I do call her mom and it's spelled M-O-M.
What's up with that?
The next time we ask Liam, he's going to call them the Kokiri.
The Kokiri?
They're just the Kokiri.
Yo, Link, get off of them Kokris.
Get saved me.
I'm Zelda.
What is that?
Like you're just drunk.
I guess.
Zelda gets drunk sometimes.
I don't think she does at all.
That's how Twilight Princess started.
Pretty much.
Do we have time for the thing that Matt is stalking
and this happens to be also Blinding Path's life this week?
Oh, yeah.
I think those are not related at all.
I know, but I'm trying to hustle it.
Big props up to...
Oh, God, I forget his name now.
Fucking Pineapple Express and the comedian...
Seth.
Seth.
Rogan?
Seth Rogan?
Holy shit.
Props up to Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg for fucking getting Preacher.
The thing it should be.
The series on AMC.
And not a movie.
And not a movie and that shit will be fucking amazing when that comes out.
Thanks for saying that because I found your copy of Preacher that I need to give back to you
underneath the pile of garbage.
Unread.
Unread.
I'm not going to read it.
No, just signs of friendship just thrown back in my face.
That's fine.
I kept it for like two years and didn't read it.
What's Blinding Path?
Nothing.
It's been a good week.
I played default and didn't leave my house for several days in a row.
Next week default.
Great success.
I know, right?
Success.
High score.
Mission complete.
Yeah.
I got to do laundry though.
I guess that sucks.
Yeah.
Laundry's garbage.
I hate laundry.
Why are we going to have it?
And so here's the worst part is I hate it so much that I push it to the absolute limit.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And you have nothing left.
I went down to one shirt to go and then laundry has to be washed in time.
Have you ever just gone out and bought more underwear?
I've done it for socks.
Have you ever just gone out?
Oh, really?
Once.
Once.
And that was shortly after I moved out because I looked in my closet and I looked in my
drawer and realized that I had twice as many shirts as I did underwear.
So it's like, well, if I buy more underwear, not only will I not have to do laundry right
now, but I'll have to do less laundry over time.
Very smart.
I did it once for socks.
And I had to go to like a fucking, like a wedding that day and I didn't have any socks.
I do it all the time for socks because when they get like, wow, you're trying to shame
me and you do it all the time.
For socks, it's like the socks, they rip and you throw them out all the time.
Yeah.
Like I really hate holes in my socks.
They're terrible.
Because then a rock gets in and you're like, oh, fuck.
So yeah, I go through those like whatever.
I'm also really scared of doing laundry in this building ever since I went down there
and there's a couple just fucking in the laundry room and I'm like, props guys.
Oh, just don't put it in the...
I didn't use it.
That washing machine underneath them.
Man, this washing room has a much weirder consistency than ours.
Well, your answer is the question, were they attractive?
Yeah, they were actually.
So then it's a value add.
That's not where I thought that was going because the other bit about your washing
machine is that's where we filmed the scariest parts of Scrufflers.
Yeah, I know.
It was pretty scary.
It designed the washing machine.
Everything terrifying about the end of Scrufflers was totally from there.
That's a sketch basement.
Don't go down there, kids.
Your landlady got super pissed at you.
Yeah.
Well, fuck you old lady.
Are you going to tell your landlady to go fuck herself on the way out the door?
I'm going to do something.
I haven't decided what.
You should do, right?
You should take a huge steaming shit in the lobby.
No, I'm going to do it.
I did not cover this like two hours ago by saying,
leave the little kitty litter bags around the apartment.
No.
That's why you told me to go over the ladder.
No.
You can't do it in the apartment because then you fuck over the guy who's moving in.
No, that's fine.
Please transfer.
You're transferring.
If I was straight on a movie night.
No, you're right.
I'm going to give her a note that says you smell like dog buns.
Ah.
Harsh words.
Unacceptable.
Unacceptable.
There's a little, there's a picture and I guess you guys would get it, but it's a character,
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