Castle Super Beast - SBFC 044: Don't Share the Wad

Episode Date: June 10, 2014

Super special E3 Day One edition! We give our post Microsoft and Sony conference thoughts, and are even joined by Liam, across the world in the future!

🎵 Liam, you are not with us today, you're in the future. He is in the future. Glorious, glorious Nippon, 13 hours ahead of you. Damn. I've already seen the Nintendo press conference, I know what happened. Oh, shit. Wait, are you...

Don't get excited for Zelda, it's all about trains again. No. Yeah, I know, it's all great. I can't even tell if it's serious. I am, that's how time works, I'm already way ahead. It's already the next day. Do they reveal Last Guardian exclusive for the Wii? You?

No, but Agent, Agent comes back for the 3DS. Oh my god. That's it. I know, it was actually really impressive, I'm surprised it ran. I can't believe anyone remembers Agent. Yeah, no, Liam mentioned it a few weeks ago and I was like, what? Yeah. Why are you talking about Agent, stop doing this, it's making me uncomfortable.

Yeah, so we've got a thing going on here. We're doing episode 44. In a Tangle of Wires. It's a Tangle of Wires, we're sitting around here, we're exhausted because E3. We sat and watched, we're exhausted. So we're recording at midnight right now, and what time? Is it at your end, Liam? For me, it's 1 o'clock, 1.20.

I've been watching E3 since 1 a.m. Okay. We're all pretty tired, I think, at this point. Pat was saying we're a bit loud because it's late right now, so we're going to try. You guys are doing your booming podcast, boys. Sorry. But to be fair, this is what I was worried about when we were doing the mailbag a little bit at my place.

Yeah, I totally am. And now I'm sensitive to it. Especially because that's the neighbors that fall asleep and sleep through everything. These are the neighbors that don't. Okay, all right. So we're going to go a little bit lower. It's a late, late podcast, you guys. So obviously, our weeks are nowhere near as interesting as yours, Liam.

I saw E3, though. So tell us about the glorious, glorious Nippon. So, well, I got to... Actually, I haven't had as much time as you might think. I got here, and by the time I got to my apartment, it was like 8 or 9 o'clock at night. So I just fiddled around locally that night. And then I had one full day before E3. So I spent that full day in Akihabara, which anyone who follows my Twitter will have seen.

Of course. I know, shocker. You took that picture of you in the little kid house. In the little kid house. It was great. You took it. Yeah, no. A lot of good photos coming in.

But yeah, no, it's really great. It's exactly how I remember it more or less. One really depressing difference is when I came six years ago in 2008, everyone on the trains was playing games on DSs and PSPs. Now they are on smartphones. But we all knew this. I know we all knew this. But it's shocking when you see it.

I was hoping somewhere in my heart that it wouldn't be the case, but I have not seen a single 3DS or Vita on the trains. Okay, then the mobile market is... I'm saying it's like, oh, shocking, but you didn't see one? I didn't see one. Granted, I've only spent like an hour and a half on public transit. That's still a lot of time. I see more PSPs than that.

Yeah, no, for sure. Did you take the shini? No, no, no need yet. In fact, I don't think I'm going anywhere that necessitates it, but I mean, I might. Plans aren't totally set in stone, who knows. Are you going to go to the suicide forest? Yeah, at night when it's foggy and take photos. Yeah, it's going to be great.

Are you serious? No, no, fuck no. No, you should do it. It's cool. You should play Outlast live from the suicide forest. Streaming live from suicide forest. Just plug it straight into this suicide tree. This suicide tree, exactly.

It's got electricity and shit. Otherwise, no, not a whole lot. Just convenience stores all the time because they're fucking great. The other night, I had a funny encounter where I went to the convenience store at like 11 o'clock because I was waiting for the E3 presser at 1 a.m. Microsoft, that is, and it was just packed with drunk salarymen. Nice. That's what kills.

Yeah, so I had to walk to the next one and the next one was just packed with drunk salarymen. And I had to go through like three of them to finally find one with like a decent wait time. Hey, how are you eating? Great, great. Food's cheaper than anyone says. How are those square watermelons? Far more expensive than my budget allows. They're bullshit, that's what they are.

I saw a watermelon, they are. I saw a watermelon vendor and the watermelons were like, I think it was 3600 yen a pop. That's 36 bucks. Which is almost $40. It's about $40 at the exchange rate. It's not direct fat. It's close enough. Yeah, fine.

Directly to you. It's four, but anyway. Yeah, so no watermelons, definitely no square watermelons. Probably no fruit at all, just eating an unhealthy diet. Just eat all the fish you can get out of the fucking ocean. The fatty tuna. And whenever you're... The ocean.

When you're eating like... I had some fatty tuna, that shit was good. When you're eating ramen or udon next to somebody, make sure to steal their egg. Steal their... Yeah, that'll be a great idea. I'll get to pour it. And then turn into a ninja girl. Oh, that'll be cute.

I can do that. Okay. I went to a sushi go-round yesterday and it was easily the best sushi I had in my life. What's a sushi go-round? It was just... It's the sushi on the conveyor belts. In the Pokemon Stadium. Oh, right, those things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that thing. And it was just some hole in the wall. I don't even know. And it was the best sushi I've ever had. Oh, damn. Already starting off strong. It's real.

It's real. Okay. It's real. The thirst is real. Bought some shit. The struggle is real. Bought a Vita TV so we can do some bullshit with that. They just announced it.

At what price, though? $100. Okay. Yeah. That's what the US... Well, you know what? It'll be region free. So once that device comes out here, it'll be like...

I should be able to use my American account on this one once that one comes out. Because that's the whole issue that's causing the region long. But regardless, I bought it for maybe some creepy something bullshit. I don't know. Yeah. It had to be bought for reasons anyway. Well, certainly. And we were both looking at it.

But when we saw the price for the imported version, it was unreasonable, so... Yeah. Oh, no, totally. Importing for $250 for that, no way. Totally not worth it. That's bullshit, I said. I already got a couple games that I'm like, oh, I'd like to check these out when I get home, because maybe these will be good for the channel.

Like what? What do you got? I don't know. Well, you might know this one, but I picked up JoJo Phantom Blood, which is a PS2 action game. Yep, that's the old JoJo game. Yep. I don't know if you have any interest in looking at that, but I got that.

I got an indie horror game for PC that I can't remember the name of, and it's all the way across the room. Sick. Is it secretly Korean? No, it's actually just Japanese. Does it have a girl with long black hair on the cover? Long red hair. Oh, close enough.

Mix up. Almost nailed it. Cool. Cool. Don't blow the wad, and you might want to keep some treats for the viewers, you know? What are you fucking saying with that sentence? No, but you're like, don't blow your wad, because our wad is treats to the viewers. That's not what I said.

That's literally what you just said. That's what you heard. It's not for the podcast listeners, though, the wad. Oh, god. Not kosher for a podcast. We all have to share the wad. Please don't. Yeah, that's good times.

Matt, how was your week? What's happened on your week? I watched a shitload of crap, really, really, in a small amount of time. Was it actual crap? No, it was great. Okay. I just was on Netflix, and we were going, oh, all of season two of Hannibal is suddenly here.

Yes, seasons one and two are there now. Yeah. I got messaged about that by friends. We already watched season one when it was brand, brand new, and we watched ten episodes in a day. There was a lot. And I said on my Twitter that that show in the first two episodes has the most raw shit I've ever seen.

Absolutely. I was cringing. Now, I'd seen some cringe-inducing things in the first season, but this was far out. I literally put my hands in front of my eyes, and I didn't want to look. Wow. Like the states of the bodies are just like, you can't handle a type of thing. Have you seen the second season? No, I've seen first two episodes of the first season.

Okay, well, you don't know anything. Okay. Like I said, I didn't want to look. Okay. We're uncomfortable. We're talking straight up like you don't even know? Love. You don't even know.

Okay. Okay. And then a lot of people told me that this season is really hype in the first five episodes. In the middle, it's like, what? And then the last three are like, holy shit. And that's exactly how it's going so far. Okay. So I'm really liking it so far.

And I also watched all of Street Fighter Assassin's Fist for reasons. How is that? For reasons I can't explain. For reasons. I was just at my computer. I'm like, I'm going to watch all of this. And it was actually pretty good. I was actually quite happy with it.

You were not bored by a story about Ryu Ken and Akuma? I wasn't because when it's Ryu Ken and Gouken, because that's the primary three guys, Akuma is in a little bit, that they're actually all really good. The only problems I had with it is that there was one scene that was the most on-the-nose thing ever where it's not really a spoiler per se, but it's just a little joke. It takes place in the early 90s, late 80s, and then someone comes in with some supplies from the village and Ken grabs a little game pack and goes, oh, Ryu, look, it's Mega Man 2.

Let's play it. And they play it in Gouken's Dojo. And then he goes, Ryu, you're so good at this game. He goes, yeah, us Japanese, we made this game. It's in our blood. And I'm like, right on. So plus, they can't even actually have the game running. They have a Photoshop frame of the game running on a TV that's blank.

Sure. But the overall show, the moves, the fighting were all really good. And the actors were good. Ken was at first like, I don't like this guy. But then I grew to sort of like him. So like Ken. And towards the end of the show, I'm like, all right, I'm going to get hiked up for this big final battle.

And nothing kind of happens. It just ends. And then it's like season two, maybe. It's 1,000 pounds, right? Are those the guys? They didn't have the production company? I don't remember. They didn't have any sort of thing in the front or in the back.

No credits, no anything. But I liked it. And then I was like, you know what? I'll start watching that Mortal Kombat. This is pretty good. I'll watch that Mortal Kombat season two. I'll watch one more episode of that. And I said, you know what?

I'm going to stop watching this because it's way, way worse than Street Fighter 2. It's way worse than Street Fighter Assassin's Fist. It was like, this is. So like Mortal Kombat? Yeah. Well, Mortal Kombat live action, better track record than Street Fighter live action. Live at the games. Flew too close to the sun.

Sorry? You flew too close to the sun. I was like, you know what? I'm sure all of these are great. Nope. Okay. And then finally I finished off all of Gem. Oh, I'm jealous.

Oh, good. I'm so jealous. And then me and my girlfriend saw that there's GemCon in Toronto. What? In September and we both looked at each other and we're like. Which I assume you're attending now. And I was like, no. And she's like, no.

I'm not sure. That's really specific. That's real. It's really specific. The least committal no. And then we started searching for all the details of that weird fan. Not funded, but fan creatively funded movie. That's the thing I didn't catch.

That fan funded Gem movie is not done financially. It's creatively. Give us all your ideas and we'll just spend money on them. Oh, I see. So that's pretty sick. That's kind of neat. So yeah. That's actually what they pitched the first reboot for the 2008.

And you told me that's a terrible idea. Don't do it. Because you're going to get garbage. Unless you're cool with making garbage. He-Man did that and it destroyed He-Man. So there you go. Oh. But He-Man's so strong.

But when he's on rollerblades, he's not. Oh. Oh. So I watch all that. Am I the only one who thought He-Man was always a bad premise or what? It's not a great premise. By the time you were able to think, He-Man was already exposed as being dumb bullshit. Yeah.

I was going to say I'm 90% sure that's the reason. We were just young though. So the veil was pulled over our eyes. The one thing I have to mention about Gem is that when they have commercial breaks, they have Gem will be right back. These little animated inserts have much better animation than the regular show. And it's usually a moon and then she's kissing her boyfriend and then she like winks at the camera. And when the third season starts, there's a new rock star guy in town and now she has

to choose between her boyfriend and this guy and they have the best insert I've ever seen where me and my girlfriend kept laughing at every second it happened. It was one guy's kissing one of her hands. He's wearing a tuxedo. And the other rock star who has a much bigger tuxedo is kissing her other hand and then the camera zooms in and she puts up her hands going, Whoa! Which one?

I don't know what to do. Archie and Veronica. It was very Archie and Veronica. We kept laughing at that. I think this is one of those good problems. There you go. There's both these hot ass holes. Why don't you kiss me?

And then I played a bunch more Mario Kart and that's pretty much it. Are you fire jumping yet? Yeah. Because you're not playing the game properly. You're not fire jumping. Fire jumping? It's no snaking, but it helps a little bit, but it's hard to really tell. What's fire jumping?

When you have a boost after you do a drift off a car, you hop and every time you like are in the air, it doesn't count as using that boost. Interesting. So you extend your boost time. Yeah, that's bullshit. Yeah. That's not bullshit. It's right there in the game.

Just use it. Liam, you're bullshit. Everyone can use it. You shave off like five to six seconds on a lap. Yeah, whatever. It's hard to see if it's actually being advantage, but it's fun to do. Liam was totally a snaking motherfucker back then. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, definitely. It's in there. Well, it's like wave dashing. What, you can't use wave dashing? No, that's legit. I hate you, Liam. Drafting. Exactly.

Yeah. Cool. They're legit. What happened to your week? My week was kind of typical, whatever. What happened to your week, Wally? I watched some Kamen Rider or whatever. What was Kamen Rider?

It was pretty cool. I beat Persona 3. Yeah, yeah. You know, just whatever. Not much. Not much going on. Pretty typical week. I'm sorry, what?

Okay, yeah. You want to rewind something? Excuse me? What? Did you just say you beat Persona 3 in a weekend? No. No, I said I beat Persona 3 fast. When has that been happening?

That happened today. No, you did that today. I beat it today. You started and beat it today. I didn't start it today. Then when has that been happening and why has it literally never been mentioned ever? No, because I started it about three weeks ago. Three weeks ago?

You burned. Yeah. You burned through that shit. Yeah. So that's done. So now when you go back and watch Friday Night Vista Cust for Persona 4 Arena and you see that joke where he makes about I guess about you being able to lay your head in her lap. Yeah.

Now you're going to kick Liam's ass when he gets back, right? Yeah, sure. Because Liam, you're a piece of shit. Well, I mean. Congratulations. Sure. That game is unbelievably fantastic. Oh, you don't even know now.

It's super totally like one of the best games I've ever played. That being said, it is the longest video game I've ever experienced in my life. Fair likely. I cannot believe. Three is longer than four. I cannot believe how fucking ridiculous that is. It was your playtime down. Well, here's the thing.

It gets really bad near the end. I feel like I could have experienced that and had the same level of enjoyment if you shaved off 70 hours of it. 70? Because my final playtime was 170 hours. 170? What? How?

How? How? How did you get 170? You left it on a couple of laps. No, I fought the Reaper. I beat him and then I did the side plays. I literally don't even understand how you hit 170. P4 is longer and has more content.

I did a perfect, pure do everything at the slowest level possible. I still only hit 105 on that one. Okay. My final is totally 170. I did a bunch of stuff. You left your PS2 on. You must have left it on. Not overnight.

No, I hear about this. It depends on, especially with Fez, it depends how you manage your time. It was Fez. Maybe, I suppose. The thing is, I was thinking about it and you can talk to my girlfriend who sat through. Let me ask you a question. This is a very important question. How many days or nights would it take you to clear a dungeon component?

As in get to the top of a... Yeah, of a sequence till it blocks you. I do it in one shot. You do it in one shot and you still manage to somehow hit on a 70. I did it in one shot every time. How? How? I don't know.

You don't? Can you read? No. People are going to come out of the woodworks being baffled. I can't explain it. I don't know, but I fucking... Shit, that's the longest game ever. Anyway, a single layer game of that length.

Anyway, that's besides the point. Fantastic gem of a game. It is amazing. I had some bullshit at the end where I fought the last boss way underleveled. How did you spend 170 hours to get to the boss underleveled? I feel like I got to the boss... I got to him at around maybe 68. That's...

Touch and go. No, exactly. I got to him around 68 and I fought it for a long time. That boss is a slog. And then I said fuck this. And then I backed off, I killed the Reaper and then did my thing. Anyway, whatever, not to drone on too long about it. But yeah, it got damn amazing.

I have to ask the most important question of them all. What was the final impetus to say fuck it and do it? What was the straw that broke your back? The saltiness in the persona video. Me and other Pat have been hassling you for literally since 2008. You cannot just hear me. Saltiness in the persona video. Can it possibly be that?

We played for a Friday Night Fist of Cups persona and I went home and said fuck this. I'm playing this game. Like you actually... I'm just going to do it. What is going on? Apparently if I love something enough and yell at you hard enough or long enough, you'll play it. And not only will you play it, you'll come back at me like, yeah, thanks. It's so epic.

So either way, I bought four already. They're both sitting there on PSN. PSN? Oh, so Vanilla Fort? Yes, Vanilla Fort. That just means in 10 years, if you feel like going through it again for funsies, the golden is there. But I don't have a Vita, so I can't do the golden. Well, in 10 years, I will have 10 Vitas.

Me and William are both going to get Vita TVs and I have another backup Vita. Eventually you'll acquire one. But before on PSN, same thing with Fez. They're not the final or best versions, but they're still damn fantastic. And if that's the way to get at them, then get at them. That was a great time. So when the fuck are you going to start JoJo, Pat? So we were talking, we were at Tim Horton's like an hour ago right before the podcast.

And I was talking about how last night or two nights ago, during the weekend, I just got this fucking torrent of abuse. From tons and tons of people on my Twitter, on my Tumblr page, through the Facebook page. Just everywhere that people can somehow reach me. Just like, hey Pat, buttoto.com is it? Dotnet. Dotnet. Fucking part four of JoJo is fucking done. Shut the fuck up and go.

And E3 is happening right now, so I'm not going to do it. But once I finish the current spack of E3 stuff, I'm going to dive into it. How many volumes is it? I can't fucking tell you. Ballparkit. Sixty? Of part four? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's like all of them. Part four like 12 or something? Because the only point I'm going to make is I did all 37 of Berserk in a week. So probably by the time I come back next week on this podcast, I will have read the entirety of part four. Maybe. It's likely. Or at least I'll have gotten mostly through it. I already know everything in part three via Osmosis over time.

And I saw one and two as the thing. But yeah, no, next week. Yeah, okay. So eventually you'll be in there. I will be in there. You'll be in there. Now there's still parts five, six, seven. I hear part five, like one of the comments along with is like part four is done, but part five is still like a wasteland.

Dude, there's still JoJo to read, my friend. Well, I only want to read like extremely well high quality translated subtitles. In any case. In any case. But for part four at the very least, I no longer have an excuse. Yeah. So and beyond. I got to ask the most important question about P3.

And who is your waifu? Who's my waifu? Yeah. Among the main cast or among every girl? Everyone, everyone. Who is the one? Who is it? You go.

Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay. I really like you go a lot. Okay. I guess. I'm sorry if that's upsetting to anybody.

I like she's just a little bland. Apparently it's very upsetting to a lot of people. It might be, but I had a great time with you go. Yeah. What was yours in P3, Liam? It was Mitsuru. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

Okay. That's the one thing you and I can agree on. Yeah. Well, the fact that they allow you to do all of them and just do it anyway. If you get to level 5 or over and then get to level 5 and over with a different girl, they see you. If it happens at the same time. Yeah.

But if you max it. Yeah. Because you break up with them. You're done. But then, but you can do them all over and over. Yeah. And in P4, they just say, no, fuck it. Who cares?

Well, no. In 3, you know. In 3, you can do everyone. No, but in 3, you have to do it in a row. So you don't get caught. Yeah. And in 4, fuck it. Oh, you're just cheating.

Who cares? Whatever you want. So like, it's 2-Vinion and they added a huge penalty for doing that. That only manifests at the very end of the game. Okay. Okay. That's hilarious. And no, beyond that, what the week I might as well talk about.

One, I played some sports friends and that game's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those games are great. Oh my God. I had so much fun. Like, just playing Johann Sebastian Joust. Yeah. And fucking Barry Barry ball.

Like, I can't get enough of that game. It's super great. I can't wait to show you guys that game. It's really fun. Oh, it's awesome for sure. And Liam, I popped over to the barcade and I played some Ultra, Street Fighter 4. Yeah. I popped over to Sega and played some Ultra, Street Fighter 4.

Oh, did you? Yeah, I did. Did Ultra come out last week after the podcast? Ultra came out last week after the podcast. Yeah, I remember how you got pissed that it never came out. It's been in Japan for a while now. Yeah. Yeah.

I got some time in too. Yeah, absolutely. Good shit. Did you fight Nishiken or Kuroda? Any of the good names? No. No fucking nobody. No one's playing it.

I fought a bunch of people who don't know Hakan matchups. I tell you that much. Oh man, nobody knows Hakan matchups. Were you the fucking Gaijin that showed up in Cleaned House? I mean, I went like, I want a couple. It wasn't a slaughter. But nobody came out to stink IU or anything. No, no, exactly.

Well, I mean, also there was like 40 units or something set up and you get connected with whoever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't have a name in there either. It was just Hakan, like random player. So nobody could know. Yeah, fun shit. God damn.

Good. Yep, yep. Having a guitar is really good. Also, I don't know my Hugo matchup. I don't think anyone knows the Hugo matchups. Learn Hugo and learn Elena because those are going to be problems. Oh, Elena's vicious. Those are going to be problems, you guys.

Yeah, but no, that sums me up, I think, you know. Kamen Rider was just Kamen Rider double, by the way. You know, I'll check back in, but it's good. I didn't do much this week of interest other than play Ultra because it's awesome. Good shit. It's fucking great. Damn right. Hugo is a blast to play, but fuck if I know what I'm doing.

It's so, it's so confusing. Just throw it almost to you when. Just wait till I teach your friends how to beat you. Yeah, they don't have the execution. They have friends that are fishing about me on Facebook. And they say, oh, I'll teach you the matchup to beat Pat, you motherfucker. But I have a double, I have a double how health God blighted Pat this week. Do you get right into it?

Like fuck the rest of my week. I'm going to spend all my time on God blighted. First up, Tuesday, Street Fighter 4 Ultra was supposed to unlock at 12 am Eastern time. Of course. It was incredibly clearly stated in every single description of the game. So first, it didn't. Second, you needed a patch to go up for the game to unlock, which did not go up until 5.37 am Eastern. Which you know because you sat there refreshing.

Of course I sat there refreshing. Whose fault is that? Sony's. Orcat or that. Why didn't you just go to bed and wake up? Because I wanted to play Ultra. But you would have if you'd gone to bed and woken up. Dude, I went to bed and woke up.

Yeah. And I also spent like two hours on that fucking bullshit chat, like speak with Sony customer service. Being like, why are you guilty of false advertising? Why are you lying to me? Why isn't it up? And the guy's just like, I don't know. Like that's not acceptable. No, I don't know.

God did not blight Pat. Pat blighted Pat. No, no, that's bullshit. If it fucking says it's available at a time, it should be available at the time or else I deserve money from my waste of time. Guess what? Guess what? The customer service guy does not know why the patch wasn't up.

He can tell you all about the PlayStation Store and all about the products, but not about the patch. And he should escalate me until there's somebody that does. There's no like, yes, I overreacted, but there's no excuse for saying this is how much something costs and this is when it'll come out and it does not come out at that time. It's fucking outrageous. And what was number two? Number two happened last night.

I dropped a sandwich on the ground. Oh no. And I called Sony and I told them what the fuck Sony. Hold on. Liam's actually kind of close. So last night I was sitting in my chair watching Star Trek. Watching your stars. And I look over at my bed and on my bed on the comforter.

This is a six millimeter long, narrow black beetle of some kind. Jesus Christ. Which long in this place? Six millimeters. Not inches or centimeters. I thought inches. I thought inches. Well, yeah, you would.

Which I now know to be a black click beetle. Nice. However, black click beetles just live in soil and they're totally harmless and they don't lay eggs in your house and they're just like one of those weird bugs. Weird bugs that just get in. Sure. Through your air conditioner or something. However, at the time, I did not know this.

And as a result of this. You called Sony. And I scooped the bug up, put it in my sink, took pictures of it, and then went to the internet to ask what it was. To NeoGaff. To NeoGaff. No, not to NeoGaff. To a different website.

Fucking fortune. At which point I became convinced that it was some form of giant roach. At which point I then became convinced that they were. You had a tub of gas in your home. You asked Lou. I asked Lou. And then I thought for sure that they were everywhere. And in my clothes.

And in my bed and in the walls. And ended up freaking out so badly that I threw out all the food in my house for fear that they had infested it. And threw out my old garbage can, which used to be there. And because I hadn't changed it in about a week and was afraid that they had grown a nest in there. Wow. And then I don't know if you've seen my kid in my bathroom in a while.

I then scrubbed every surface of the sink area till it was spotless because that's where the bug had touched. And it was possible that it had laid millions of eggs in the short time it was in my sink. Pat, if you need to talk some time. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. We can talk.

And then in that process of scrubbing the stuff with all the cleaning products I could find and hyperventilating, I almost passed out into my bathtub. That would have sealed it. That would have sealed it. And eventually ended up stumbling back to this chair where I then typed up the misses and being like, I am freaking out at which point I calmed down. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I then did two, three hours of research through the Orkin website and various beetle types on Wikipedia and going through every photo I could find until I had determined that it was in fact a black click beetle and therefore harmless and unlikely to infest my home. I thought you were going to say, and it turns out it was just a piece of plastic. Yeah. Dude, you're hitting very signs of beetles, man. So that was last night, which then coincides very accurately with, or was that last night? It might have been.

But this morning I woke up bolt upright at 7 a.m., like three hours after going to bed, afraid of something. Because you forgot what? You felt something on your leg. I don't know. You felt something on your leg. I thought it was because I was excited for E3, but it might. But you were just scared of something.

Every time the hair on your legs grays the bedsheets. That's seriously a problem. I'm going to talk about that. That's the worst. But yeah, some divine, awful creator put that bug on my comforter to freak my shit out and fuck bugs. Wow, wow, wow, wow. That is intense.

So I got to do groceries. Probably. Did you throw away packaged foods? Yeah. Why? Because they could have gotten in. Okay, I'm not going to argue this with you. Because everyone's going to really see how crazy I am.

Because they haven't already. Don't worry, I'm done. I'm not moving this case any further. Everyone's still holding on. They're like, oh no, I'm with them. They're 110%. Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe. I overreacted a little bit. And this is the part where the camera pans over to the garbage and shows that they did find a way in. And they did lay eggs. And you were in fact justified? Yeah. Okay, the listener obviously cannot see us right now.

But I think it's pretty clear from William Matt being able to see how I reacted to the way you just said that. Please do not say that. Oh man. I'm asking you as a friend. That is the worst. Because when you ask people for advice, they're like, oh, you eat tons of spiders every night. Seriously, you're not helping, bro.

You're not helping. You've just read facts saying it's harmless and can't lay millions of eggs. I had to read those facts from multiple verified sources. Snopes saying that you eat a pound of spiders every night. A pound of spiders. Is it a fucking spider buffet? What is it? So thank god it was a click beetle and not a house centipede.

Oh yeah, house centipedes are sick. I hate you, Liam. I love you too. I bet you in Japan they have giant like 500,000 pounds. So hopefully a viewer or listener has gotten at least a chuckle at my expense. Liam, have you seen any crows? Any crows? Crows are ravens because I heard that they're beasts in Japan.

Yeah, they're super huge. Oh, I thought you were going to make a joke about me eating crow for some E3 prediction. No, I haven't seen any. I'll keep my eyes out though, for sure. Because a friend of mine that went to Japan like a few years ago, she said crows in Japan can eat crows in Canada. Holy shit. And they're also known for calling you idiots.

Yeah. Because they go ah-ha, ah-ha, and that means dumb. I'll keep an eye out. I'll look around for them. Alright, cool. Take a picture. Although looking out my window right now, I can see a truck driving by with free on the side, so it's a good day.

Didn't you- you fucking texted me earlier and you were just like- Yeah. Like Stan Proud is just casually playing on the radio. In a fucking like pharmacy. Where like all these old ladies are working and Stan Proud's just playing on the radio. That's the fuck where he is, man. That's pretty good. Deep in the mecca.

Alright, so- Oh, you know what? I also want to take- call attention to a JoJo episode moment that happened this week. Oh shit. That I told- I talked to Matt about. I said, hey Matt. I don't believe him. You won't believe what happened in JoJo this week.

And he was like, no, that's not real. You're right. I don't believe you. And then I showed him the goddamn subtitle where the fucking pig like shows up in the toilet and the guy's like the owner loves it when it licks his butt. Yeah. I mean dude. And then after I watched it, I think I said I still don't believe it.

And that's when after he left I wickied it up and that's a real thing that totally exists. And when the pig licks the butt it goes. Whatever. Anyway, cherry licking. Good times. Good times. Pigs licking your cherry. So like poop.

Obviously E3 is the big thing going on. Yeah, I suppose. But there was some news that happened before E3. And I do think we should... Would you say it's pre-3? That's actually what I wrote it down as on the document. So for starters, Nintendo of Europe closes their gross of time office in Germany. Can we talk about this?

No, you and I talked privately about it. Not on the podcast. But in fact, I believe the timing of that conversation was particularly hilarious. Why is that? Right after Jason Schreyer at Kotaku. Yeah, I know, I know. But it was actually a decent article. I had an article about Laos in the game industry.

And he had written a note like Nintendo never lays off anybody. And then the next day they laid off like 160 folks at the German place. That being said, his article was referring to developers and not developers. Because that's really what the point of the article was. But yeah, it is kind of funny timing for sure. Yeah. Well, it's not funny for those people. I don't know, but the timing is huge.

To be honest, I don't think they did anything. I was not aware that there was a Nintendo German office. There's two. Yeah. They closed down one because they realized they had two. Yeah, I guess so. That's a bit odd. Why did they have two?

They looked at the books. A complete oversight in finances. Nintendo has Germany confirmed. And this week under the called it marquee, the Metal Gear fan remake that we talked about last week is not fucking happening. Apparently that is because the dude's having a baby or something. No, they didn't give any reasons. Where did you read that?

I don't know where that came from. Okay, so here's the process that I arrived at this conclusion from. Everyone said, hi, I called it. To which everyone else on the internet just around said, no, developers like why I've had a baby and or he's having a baby. And so he's taking time off to which point someone said, prove that to which point everyone disappeared. So yeah, who the fuck knows. And also like the site that it was like posted on it should went down and things like that.

So I mean, I don't know if a baby would really. So babies are in everything. Plus, you can remake Metal Gear or create life. I think you made the wrong choice. Yeah. So might be baby and I guess in three years time will know. Maybe. But until this mystery phantom baby shows up.

Phantom baby. I'm going to go ahead and say he should have kept his mouth shut. You should always keep your mouth shut. Babies should keep their mouth shut. Because they probably okayed it under some stipulation that was bullshit. Someone okayed it and then someone else did it. Yeah, okay, for enough. And you know what?

And the thing is the sad part is that when I was reading the article, it sounds like they did need to expand their team. So some semblance of that announcement was like, hey, we're hoping to find some people. But I know you're in a rough spot, but guy, you know. You got to build a team before you put a single accent of money into the project. Well, hey, on the bright side Konami's E3 pressers in a couple hours. So not on the bright side because it's not going to be hilarious. I know they fucking tied it up. I hate that.

Was that 2010? Magical year? Yeah. Yeah, it was 2010. It was two connects. Yeah, must have been around. If anybody has not seen it, you owe it to yourselves to check out the mythical Konami 2010 press conference. They've seen the clips.

It is a riot from second one to the end. It never stops. It never lets up. Every single section where it's like, this is normal. It's amazing. And you know what, just since it makes sense, because I'm going down this docket or whatever, there's pre E3 stuff that then obviously becomes E3 stuff. First Metal Gear news as we're moving on, the fucking trailer leaked.

Somebody fucked up. Yeah. Really, really bad. And it leaked the trailer the full night before Sony's press conference. And also leaked the extended trailer. Exactly. I'm super happy I saw that, because I was vexed when they didn't have the whole thing. Yeah, so last, just to clear it up, last night or whatever, Sunday night, the extended full length Metal Gear Solid 5 Phantom Pain trailer came out,

which was, and then when Sony did their press conference, that was clearly supposed to be one of the things at the end to wow the audience. And it had bits missing. Like very, very, very important spoiler fucking bits. In particular, the trailer that went up earlier, that was not Sony E3, the last part of the trailer fucking Big Boss turns to the screen and says, Hey, don't spoil it. He says, we're diamond dogs. And it's a really great line. It's a fucking trailer.

And I fucking, I'm like, I thought it was the other thing. Oh, the part where Skullface and Big Boss are just hanging out? Okay. Yeah, but. But, no, that line, I specifically was like, that kind of sold me on Kiefer's performance a bit. I was like, yeah. It's funny, because he's still saying a dumb nonsense, non-American, Japanese thing, like diamond dogs. Diamond dogs, you're right.

It's such a, but it's still fine. But when you're watching a man that's rubbing ashes on his face, what the fuck? I'm loving it. I need this dead guy in my face. He's kind of like Kool-Aid man with ashes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like I said before, like the only way you convince me to keep being there and caring about Big Boss

is by showing me how wrecked his shit gets. Let's go down the rabbit hole. Yeah. How fucking, how much he loses it before he goes, all right, we're turning against the world, and we're fucking just, we got the nukes, we don't care anymore. Just become nuclear. Yeah. I'm going to stab this kid.

Yeah. Fucking Eli. Stupid play of the grave. So was money exchanged for Mirror's Edge? Yeah, I paid for him before he left because EA officially announced that they were going to show it. And I wish, I wish I had held on to that money because this is so on the line. This is so rock solid, like on the line of bullshit. I have ever fucking seen.

Tech footage. They didn't show Mirror's Edge too. They showed Tech footage. They showed Tech footage of a prototype. They should, they titled it prototype conceptual gameplay. Yeah. That is not a game. Usually I'm a big fan when Pat loses money, but I'm going to say that this is bullshit.

No, no, you still like losing that, but it's so close. I still lost it, but I was robbed. They showed new footage. They showed new moves. You know, they showed new moves. There was new stuff in there. There was new stuff. But like.

It looks exactly like the first game. Like it does. It's running in the first game's assets with like new enemy guys. So one thing about that. Also, it's everyone who made the mistake. I actually ended up making that bet with Liam. Yeah. That Mirror's Edge.

It wasn't me. I'm still getting messages right now. Yeah. I'm not going to pass the bet with you. Yeah. I've seen them all the time. That's hilarious. No.

The, the one thing was in the pre three like little blurb that they put out there, they're saying that Mirror's Edge two is going to be very different. So besides being open world, they're like, they're having a thing where they're saying it's going to be a little less parkour oriented. Oh, great. And not necessarily full on combat as well, but something about like a hybrid of the two. So I'm like, I'm a little worried about the lack of parkour. In the trailer, like everyone really loves the combat.

I'm like, no. But, but the weird part is that we put in more combat. I'm like, why? But they, they said less parkour in that statement, but then they showed a bunch of parkour. Right. So granted, granted in like total test levels. So they're, they're focused testing it into shit. Yeah.

I wouldn't be surprised if conflicts are still happening internally. At least the combat looks better. Yes. Much better. No, you're right. You're right. When you're done fucking dispose and dispatch of these guys and keep moving is totally great. Yeah.

That'll at least fix the flow of combat. Absolutely. I mean, I'd love to see it like be a thing where jumping off of these guys might even speed your time up. If you're fucking sick enough, you know what I mean? They count as super jumps. Or some bullshit, you know, like just find a way. Yeah.

No, that's that glad to know what they're still making it. Cause that's all that really that little video was is, Hey, we're still making it. So day zero, we three happened and we watched all of these press conferences. Yeah. No, totally. Should we get into that shit? Just before. Oh, there's more.

Oh, hey, you got it. You got to talk about fucking Cliff Horse. If you caught that. Oh, I caught that, but I completely forgot what it was. I'm staring at you. Oh, it was not just thing. It was not just the eyes. Notch made his second commercial release game and he put it out last night or the day before

last night before last night. The day before tomorrow, he put out a game called Cliff Horse and it's available now in open beta or not open beta open like it's basically a game where you're a horse. It runs around on a cliff and there's a little ball you can push around and you can pay money if you want to. He's just he's fucking taking the piss out of shitty games that go up on steam. They go, hey, pay money to play this pre-alpha build. Right.

It's unplayable. Yeah. Genius. And he made it in two hours and you fucking just put it out there and now Cliff Horse is a thing. Who said Minecraft was a one hit wonder? Right. Me.

I said it. He said it. Fucking not. Constantly. So that's the megaton that E3 needed really. Do you know what? Right, really. You know what?

Really it was. I was ready to talk about the conferences but you were fucking right to stop me. That adds the context we need. The glory of the Cliff Horse. Now, do any of you guys remember Hattiful Boyfriend? Of course. And I know where you're going. Is that the Pigeon Simulator?

That's the Pigeon dating scene. Yeah. Shit. So awesome. So Liam, you saw the news. Motherfucking Devolver Digital porting that. Well, not porting that shit but remaking it and like. Remaking it.

Pretting it up and stuff. It looks very pretty. Bringing it back for 2014. And I'm in love with the fact that like they didn't make it like an anime pigeon girl and guy or anything like that. No. Pigeons. It's a real pigeon with hair on it.

It's a real fucking pigeon. Yeah. It's fucking hilarious. I love that. It's the dumbest thing ever. No. Not a cute way out. You have to love the animal itself.

Yeah. Pigeons are fucking stupid. Jumping kind of sideways and ahead a little bit. When Devolver showed up at Sony's press conference, I was seriously expecting Hattiful Boyfriend to be part of their lineup. To be? Yeah. Yeah.

When they said there was like six games, I'm like that's got to include Hattiful Boyfriend. I think you're reaching just a little bit there, Liam. I don't really think so, but anyway. Like, we had a surreal moment where Matt and I kind of looked at each other and were like, are they fucking talking about Broforce on stage at E3? Yeah. Yeah. What?

Is this happening? I'll say it again. Like I said it before, E3 is fucking weird now. It is weird. Hey, we know what's going on with Assassin's Creed, I suppose, right? Co-op. Yeah. He was like, Co-op.

How are we doing this? Yeah. Let's do a conference for the conference. Well, all right. Well, yeah, fuck the rest of the news, I suppose, because it's all related to E3 stuff. Fuck it, yeah. Yeah, it's like, is this going to happen? And the answer is no.

Well, hey, look, whatever. MGS Movie Director is going to be some indie guy that no one really knows, so it doesn't really matter. He made one movie called The Summer of Kings or something in the ad. Do you know what that screams? That screams no one wants to do this. Yeah, exactly. Speaking of no one wants to do this, Ant-Man is now being directed by Peyton Reed, who

directed some comedies, Yes Man with Jim Carrey, which no one saw. I don't even know. And a bunch of other... But Adam McKay is writing it. Sure, sure. Amazing. Adam McKay that wrote Anchorman. No, that's awesome.

Oh, okay, sure. That's awesome, but it's still not fucking... Egg, you're right. No, still lost. That's a heavy loss, no matter what. So, yeah, that's going on. All right, E3. Day zero's over.

So, yeah. We survived. Microsoft. We walked out of Microsoft. We weren't... Okay, we weren't there. No. We walked out of...

We walked out of my couch. We walked out of Matt's house, like basically describing as half chub. Half chub. We all came to the begrudging conclusion that we ended up at a half chub. They didn't fuck it up, really. They didn't sell me on an Xbox One, but they've made some progress. They made some progress, yeah. I think Sunset Overdrive looks godlike.

I now think it looks really good. I was totally unimpressed by all the earlier stuff, but this new thing looks amazing. There were a couple things in there that I really, really loved, of course, which I'm sure we'll get to, but my expectations for Microsoft were actually higher than they delivered. So, I... Why? I think it was alright. Yeah, it was good.

Why were they higher? Because they just said for months, like, games, games, games, games, games, games. Well, that's what they had. They did. No, no, no. Don't get me wrong. And then we got to games, but a lot of those games, like Tomb Raider 2 and stuff, I just couldn't care less, because they're just...

Oh, sure. Oh, sure. I asked you guys to remind me of this. That's all. I was hoping for, like, an RPG or something. I mean, Phantom Dust. You mean an action card game? Not an RPG?

Well, that's kind of an RPG to me. I asked Woolly and Matt to remind me of this in case I forgot. But if anyone hasn't seen the new Tomb Raider trailer, Rise of Tomb Raider... Rise of the Dawn of the Tomb Raider. Rise of the Dawn of the Tomb Raider Planet. Rise of the Revenge? Yeah. Watch the first 45 seconds, at least, and then go watch the Uncharted 4 trailer.

And you're going to know what I'm talking about. I'm watching the fucking Tomb Raider trailer. Rise of the Tomb Raider. And it's ripping off Uncharted even more, like, even harder, like, in every way. But first, I thought it was a sequel to Devil May Cry, because Lara and the Hoodie looks exactly like Cat from Devil May Cry. And then I thought it was a new Assassin's Creed game with a girl in a hood, and because it looks exactly like Desmond's Hoodie. But then I saw that it was ripping off Uncharted. But then later in the night, I saw the new Uncharted, which is now ripping off Tomb Raider.

And it looks just like Tomb Raider. Yeah. What the fuck? To be fair, we didn't see much of the Uncharted thing, because the stream died. What the fuck is going on? What is going on? The industry is getting weird. As a personal thing, I just, I can't stand it, but Rise of the Tomb Raider is probably the dumbest title I've ever seen on anything ever.

That's the worst title I've ever seen on anything ever. I think Uncharted looked pretty Uncharted. Like, obviously it's a different take, because they're going for a different tone of story. Pat's talking about specifically, because the part that we saw in the trailer were a bunch of cages with dead hanging skeletons, which is more, to me as well, much more of a Tomb Raider-ish thing. It's like they literally, like, switched everything but their main characters. Like, for one reason or another. Sure.

But I mean, it's so weird. You should watch the full trailer, because it's just, that's the region they're in, so it's like, that's, you know, that's what it looks like. Yeah, I know, but like, the region they're in looks like the region from the last trailer. But what I mean to say is, saying it's ripping it off is pretty like, I don't think so. Well, I don't mean it as even in being an intentional. It's like, these games, like... Are now interchangeable. Are now so, like, cloney of each other that they're becoming indistinguishable.

I don't know, if you ask me, I don't think Naughty Dog is looking at Tomb Raider at all for inspiration. Well, they must, since they lost everyone. There's only one person working. There's only one person working on it. She's still learning how to code, so... I feel like we were kind of robbed of a nice megaton explosion moment by Anti-Colonel, by knowing that Platinum was going to be there, or at least expecting it. Yeah, we were much more surprised today.

And then we were robbed again when Kamiya showed up to show a CG trailer and give no details in any interview. Unfortunately. And he said he can't because Microsoft will kill him. The official statement put out by PlatinumGames is that we can give you no details of any kind at this time. It's like, then I don't... Ah, come on. Give me something. I think we're all just really excited to see it, but like...

So far in this trailer, I'm not feeling it too much. It's alright. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter because we're all... It's gonna be awesome. No, it's gonna be awesome, but like... As the trailer doing its job to excite you at a conference, it did not quite deliver. But it doesn't matter. Yeah, the gameplay is gonna be stellar for sure.

It's directed by Kamiya. I guess it's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be amazing. One way I would say it is this. It's the I Trust Kamiya, but had they shown gameplay of that, I would have owned an Xbox One right now. It would be unequivocable. Yeah, unequivocable. We are straightforward even.

Yeah, you're right. We are doing the full-on fanboy, like, free, you pass go, collect $200, don't even show us anything right now. Oh, without a doubt. You know what I mean? We're super panning it up, but like... Luckily, we've never been let down. Yeah. So it's like, you know, we're going on track record here.

That's all we have to go on, I suppose. Dude is fucking Donte with Nero's arm. It's unbelievable. Well, I was gonna say it. And Nero's headphones. I was really surprised by the trailer. It didn't scream, like, platinum style to me. Like, I really, really have a hunch that Microsoft probably asked them to tone down the Japanese a little bit.

I believe that. I don't know, but the main character is the most Japanese guy I've ever seen. He looks... I really don't think so, but also, like, the dragons... We got Japanese looking. I mean, Japanese designs. Stand him next to DMC4Donte and Bayonetta. Yeah, he looks American.

He looks American. He looks like Donte with Nero's arm. He looks... Like, as you pointed out, you expected him to get eaten by a dinosaur as like a joke. As a joke. Yeah, yeah. Speaking of which, that intro to the Sunset Overdrive trailer... Fantastic.

Fantastic. Awesome. Fantastic. How did you fall for it, Liam? Of course. As a soldier? Yeah. How could you not?

Like, it's great. It's great. Well, because we're all like... We're sitting there, like, face-pauling, going, oh, another cheater. Yeah. And I specifically said, after you showed us Advanced, whatever... Don't do this to me. Call of Duty, how can you show us this, like, clearly even blander, modern...

Oh, my God. I can't believe they're... Oh, yeah. Hookline and Sinkr. Yeah. Yeah. That little 2D Indie thing they showed, Indie Darling game they showed us there. Force to sleep with the fat guys.

Yeah, yeah. Oreo. Oreo. Looks great. Like, looks better than UbiArt, UbiArt Engine. Yeah. I was surprised by that. The fight for high-quality 2DS.

Because, like... Yeah, because, I mean, we saw what's it called, the World War I game. The Valiant Hearts. The Valiant Hearts. And, like, I'm like, that was cool. But that game they showed off this morning looked even better than UbiArt. You know, I was surprised by that. Oh, looks great.

Can make a difference. Don't forget Inside. We all know it's inside. Inside looks cool, yeah. Yeah. Inside looks really cool. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I can't believe...

Like, you're gonna see it, Liam, but, like, that fucking Dead Rising reveal. Perfect. Great, great, great trailer. We went out. Because we went up. We went up going, like, oh, my God, is this gonna be a beat-em-up? And then we went, no, this is some bullshit costumes. Yeah, it went the whole circle in, like, five seconds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you guys got excited and said it's only costumes. And then it was immediately clear that, no, it's not more than costumes. And the fucking title? That's where we freestyled. And then they put fucking Dash on the end? Like, fuck you, it's so good. And then when it said available soon, then it said, fuck that, available now.

Download it now. And then Matt tells me on Facebook, like, they weren't fucking bullshitting like that. I'm playing it right now. Oh, yeah, is it good? It just finished, like, install, like, it wasn't actually a big download. It was, like, 50 meds. But just as I got to the title screen, I was like, I'm gonna be late. No, that was a fucking, that was a power rep.

That's very responsible, man. No, it was really cool, for sure. Man, fuck that new fable game. Yeah, we were pretty bored with that. It looks like whatever, it's alright. It's tower defense with fable. Well, all I could think of when I was watching that five-player screen was, oh, look, this would work on the Wii U.

Yeah. So what's the point of this existing here? Also, fuck Conker. Oh, I don't know. I don't know, I think that was fine. No, it's not fine in the sense that make a new game. No, Liam, it's not fine for the Solary. If they said Conker's in it, that would have been fine.

For Conker to come out as a character and say, it's sure been a long time, 10 years since I was in a game, right? Ha, ha, ha. And then kind of pause, and then just leave. And it says, oh, I'm in Project Spark. Like, fuck that, that's awful. But that's how Conker talks. That's how Conker is.

No, you know what it is. No, it's just that. I don't. I saw that, and I said, oh, that's so good. What Pat's saying is that the way Conker was talking made it seem like there was going to be a new game. And then it's like, no, it's bait and switch. It's like to say, it sure has been a long time since I was in a game.

Well, I'm still not. I still don't have a game. I don't think it was that bad. But then again, I don't have any real stake in Conker. Dude, I don't give a fuck about Conker at all. I had the very least like old rare. It was a very light jab at like new rare. But I mean, I still feel that like, you know, with him and Banjo,

we're all waiting. We want to see the proper return. But it's fine. It's a nice little. I don't know, man. Like the light. Take it for what it is. The light.

Put the Conker live and reloaded remake on something. Put it digitally somewhere because that game is rare and it's expensive. Why? Just put it out on anything. It's almost like the last thing you're saying is, and I can't make any videos of it because I can't find it. I can't. It's not even reopening old wounds.

It's like a light jab into an open wound that was never bandaged ever. I didn't know that you cared about Conker. I don't. But I can see people do. Wait, wait, wait. At what point did it become an open wound? Like a good game came out and then it suddenly became a wound? No, no.

The long, the long history of rare making bullshit. I'm missing the logic here. Matt, you would know better than me. Rare just constantly not getting to make anything other than Connect. It's kind of that. Because the Conker remake came out and it was fine. It had some issues, but whatever. Then after nuts and bolts, Rare was denied to make anything other than Connect games.

I think that's what that means by there's this wound there that if you liked old Rare, fuck you. That's like making fun of people who say, hey, you sure would like those good old days, right? Yeah, well fuck you. I think making fun of people is really going a bit far on that. That's how Conker talks. It's just...

I think it doesn't really matter. We're seeing the Master Chief a lot of times. That's a hell of a collection. It's a good value at the very least. And they're doing the thing. They're making it so that the maps and stuff, they play on the engine. And remember how the guy was like, and also, it's with the same engine. That was a huge mistake with Halo Anniversary.

Like you pointed out, Tony Hawk, we're releasing this game on a completely different engine than the one it was made on. Aren't your memories intact? No. Why? Because it doesn't work? Even Perfect Dark playing GoldenEye Stages feels not the same. It's not the same.

And that is the same engine. But later. No, totally. Yeah. They did the right thing. Fucking weird. Too much CG, man. A lot of CG trailers.

Way too much CG. But with a strong return of co-op, you know? Like strong return of co-op games. Well, online co-op. Online four player co-op was the name of the game. Yeah. Yeah. Assassin's Creed.

It's got it. Fable's got it. And then Ivolz obviously got it. Fucking, I gotta say, like, between that showing, and we'll get into the actual Ubisoft demo of it later, but the division, I'm fucking loving everything they're showing of that, man. I'm surprised. I wouldn't even think that you'd be interested in it.

No. The thing I need to see is, like, third person. What the game's actually. There's lots of third person shooters you never play at. Like, I don't know why it's this one that's making you go... It looks really good. I know, but it doesn't look like anything different than anything. It looks like a super, super expanded scoped out freedom fighters.

Yeah. And I'm also getting... And I get some Last of Us vibes from the environment and stuff like that. What I need to know, before I really put my heart and dreams into it, is, like, what is the actual scope of that game? How large it is. Yeah. Because it's really difficult to understand, like, how large that city is and what it actually

means. Is it missions? Do you wander around? Whether or not it's an open map or not. And the videos have been linear streets. I'm pretty sure they went on record to say it's an open New York. Is it? Yeah.

I know that it's open, but, like, are you going missions? Is it, like, a pure open world? It's probably... Imagine a reskinned, any Ubisoft game, and that's what you got. Yeah, so it's got a point. Open, and then you walk to the marker. You start the mission, and then you go into a linear little thing. You know?

I can see it. New Assassin's Creed looks really good. Yeah. They've changed a bunch of the mechanics for swinging and moving. Yeah. So that you're not seeing the same climbing animation. Yeah. Especially because the stealth parts are all down, so you can get down a building super

fast. Yeah. They showed a later gameplay thing at the Ubisoft one, where it showed off that, like, Dude took, like, a minute and a half, two minutes to fight four dudes in the middle of the street. Like, generic dudes. The whole minute of that was fighting one single character, which means they fought. I feel like you might be misremembering that, because that was, like, a minute tops to fight

the big guys. Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop. No, no, no. The trailer we watched from Microsoft had the slower fighting in it. That was the four people in the room. Yeah. Later on at the actual Ubisoft, they didn't actually watch that.

They had a fast, like, he took out four guys like enough. It was fast, but compared to Black Flag and Three, it was in the lasses. I still think a minute and a half for one guy, you might be a little off. Yeah, I'm exaggerating the time, but it's only in comparison. Like, in Three and in Black Flag, you tear through literal scores of, like, 10, 20, 30 in minutes. For the love of God, I really hope that they introduce light and dark play as a part of the stuff.

There's a little bit in that Ubi one where he hides behind a thing in a room. Yeah. So that's already an improvement in the fucking stuff. It already looks substantially better. It seems like there's a crouch button and everything. Yeah. And I mean, I got to say, like, you know, they slowly kind of showed me, like, alright, you're going to have fun with four people playing this.

I don't want to have fun with four people. Yeah, me either. Well, I mean, to me, otherwise, I'm just bored of assassins. So I would need that to keep it fresh for me. Yeah. I can see that point of view, but I don't want... There's nothing to me that in a game like that, that's not like an arcade-y co-op game, there's nothing worse than seeing, like, a player character move in the environment.

It is horrible to me. It is immersion annihilating. I'll wait for these standalone DLC. Yeah, you're all about that. The Freedom Cry. Yo, Freedom Cry, that seven hours was all I wanted, and it was great. I can't wait for them to, like, reveal that, like, each of these four guys has, like, different personalities.

I wonder how it is when you play a single player. This one's sad. I see this one. I bet that the game's based around single player, and when you add multiple people, it just scales, like, modifiers. But they're individual people, I would hope. Yeah, they are. Well, they all have different costumes, at least.

So that probably means they're different. And one of the big guys, the big guy had the axe. One's probably Italian. Like, one's probably from Marseille. You know, just like... Go for it. Just like, this one has a Montreal accent. Yeah.

All of them. Oh, and all of them have the Montreal accent. Yeah, they can't tell. They can't tell. If I do play that game, I will be playing it in French, though. Because, like... I feel like it's remarkable that they're all speaking English. Yeah, I know, right?

Yeah. It's like, when it was in Italian, it's like, ah, I don't know Italian. Maybe the French voice acting is just bad. No, and yeah, that will make me toggle it back, for sure. So here's where it gets weird. I would really like it if in the English dub, it's spoken all by, like, Quebecers and Montrealers. But if I switch over to the French dub, and it's all actual Parisians, I'll be like, no fuck this.

Turn this off? Yeah. Despite the increased accuracy, like, I cannot listen. I don't see them spending the money. I cannot listen to this trash. I cannot listen to this fake French. Well... Yeah, the only, like, really good French dub that I like in a game is actually Heavy Rain.

But, like, other than that, you're right. Parisian French in Gears of War is the most appalling thing I've ever... Now, granted, most of our English-speaking audience is, like, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fucking... Oh, yeah, yeah. Just the distinction, yeah. The French and French Canada is different from the French and French, that's all.

It's the equivalent of, say, you were in New York, and all the acting in English is supposed to be in New York, and everyone speaks with the thickest Southern Carolina drawl you've ever heard. Fargo. Fargo, yeah. Everybody speaks Fargo. Fargo. And you're like, what? That's not...

That's the English voice track? Yeah. Once there's no Canada like French Canada, it's the best Canada in the land. And the other Canada is the Boucher Canada. And I guess, like, did you guys take a look at the EA conference? I did, because... Are we still on MS or what? No, we're gonna move off of MS.

Is there anything else? Okay, well, I'd rather not, because you didn't touch on Phantom Dust. It's a CG trailer. Yeah. Phantom Dust is there, and I'm remaking Phantom Dust. There's stuff to be said about it. I do have reservations. But you know that it's a remake of the first game, right?

Yeah, I am aware. Did you know right away when you saw the logos? Yeah, oh yeah, I saw the symbols, and I'm like, oh shit, it's Phantom Dust. I freaked out. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So, watching the trailer, it seems like this new character might be encompassing the role of this important character to the plot named Edgar, and also the main character who has no name,

and you just name him, however. So, basically, the plot usually really centers around this guy, Edgar, and then you play alongside him, kind of. I think in this remake, it seems like they're streamlining them into one character. Okay. The fact that it's a remake and stuff, and I look at the art and it doesn't really scream Phantom Dust to me barring the villain's character design, I have some reservations. Although, Futatsuki is probably directing it, so I'm sure he'll demonstrate that. He'll do you proud.

Yeah, no, because his games always have their distinctive looks, so I'm sure as soon as there's a bit more, it'll look more Phantom Dusty, but regardless, I'm really looking forward to it. When you see gameplay, you'll know for sure. Exactly. I can't wait to see it. On that note, just as you talk about a nameless character, just a side thing, I realized a weird thing with Persona. Like, I... Makoto Yuki.

No, Minato Arisato. No, it's Makoto Yuki now. Oh, well... The movie changed it. The movie changed it. Well, I played as Minato Arisato. So, Persona 4 Arena changed it back. Okay, well...

Sorry, Ultimax changes it back. Okay, but just all I'm saying is that the days of naming my own character are gone. They're totally gone. And it's weird when they ask me to do that. I don't like it anymore. Persona 3. So please, video games, give me a filled in name that I can delete if I want. Guess what?

So let me press start to accept the writing. Atlas has started to do that. Yeah. So I played through Persona 3 as Patrick Bovay, and guess what? That game's fucking weird. Yeah. Yeah. I had the same issue for sure.

It's fucking weird. I don't like it anymore. It's really bad. Back at Old Zelda, no problem, because it's a mess game. So now, for Atlas games, the part of the process when you start is you fucking look online what manga adaptation named the character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And with SMT4, they finally said fuck it, and the character starts with a filled in name.

Wasn't it this weird thing because the name they used is the name of a porn star or some weird shit like that? No. Why are you talking like that? That means you should keep it. And then they changed it. The name of the main character in all Atlas games that are not named that you would fill in yourself, like officially is hero.

Okay. Like they just call hero. You look at the trailer for Dancing All Night, it's hero. It's the character. And it's like fuck, that's worthless. Now and forever in my brain, it's Minatos. Yeah. No, you can't undo it.

No, me too, absolutely. Especially since the Fem-C becomes Minako. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, anything else on Microsoft Leon? TJ Combo. TJ Combo. Which is weird because they didn't actually show it during the conference at all.

Not during the conference, yeah. Yeah, which was weird, but TJ Combo and Fire Guy, so yeah. Yeah, Fire Guy. Fire Guy. I hope that's what the name is. Fire Guy is back. They showed Cinder, Ashes. The Cinder trailer.

Oh, the Red Glow. The teaser. The Red Glow, yeah. Like who else? Who else? No, you're right, you're right, you're right. Well, even Max is like a Could-Be-Ripter. Could-Be-Ripter breathing fire.

Could-Be-Ripter breathing fire. Or the last boss. I forgot her name. Area. Area. No, I think they did the only thing everyone agreed is the only way to not embarrassingly remake Combo. I think people that were complaining like, oh, it's not the cool Combo.

I'm like, oh, the cool Combo that had the big pink lips and shot of Uzi? That cool one? Yeah. Yeah, that's not happening. It's just the only way to take it is. They knew you were going to do Crime Time and they were like, no, can't do this. Did you warn Lang? I love Crime Time.

I love Boxster trying to make it right, you know? That's what you can do. It makes him a little bit more boring, but at the same time, I don't mind having another hero character. It's that or... It's three. It's Jago, Orchid, and Combo. They're like the three most normal human beings.

We're human beings that aren't monsters. I mean, Thunder's out for justice. He walks with the law. No, but he's a monster. He's a horrible monster. But he walks with the law. That dude turns into crows. No, he turns into crows.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, I have that. Yeah, I have that. Let's move on to E3. Let's move on to E3. Let's move on to E3. EA. EA's press conference was a fucking embarrassment.

Well, hey, guys. Guys. I thought it was like super safe, like nothing abhorrent about it. The tattoos are back in Madden, because back in the day, they weren't allowed to put tattoos on their football guys. I bet you some marketing guy was sploshing at the fact that, yeah, we get to put that in the conference. I worked my ass off.

Do you remember why they weren't allowed to? Because what's a dude in the UFC, a tattoo artist, sued them for showing his art on the guy. And he's like, that's my art. I mean, I should get something for it. No, you shouldn't. And so now they got a bunch of NFL dudes to get waivers from their tattoo artists. So yeah, you can do that in sports games now.

It's just like, hey, do you want to see this behind the scenes thing? No. Okay. I want to see the game. You can play as you want to see this Mass Effect concept art? No. No. I want to see the Mass Effect game.

And you don't even want to see it. No. And yeah, I don't even want to. You don't even want to see Dragon Age? No. Period. Period. Fuck.

One game trailer I actually really appreciated in the EA1, not because I'm looking forward to the game, but because it was the most blatant we understand situation was PGA Golf, where it started and they were just, they golfed for like 20 seconds and then they were golfing on the fucking Battlefield 4 map where the ship crashes and it was all goofy and the trailer was gone and done with in 30 seconds and it was the most blatant we get that this game does not demo well year after year. Yeah. Look at this silly fantasy map we made and we're done.

Wow. Yeah. It's the same game every year. And I saw that and I was like, good. Why do you show it? Wow. Awesome. They show it for 30 seconds.

Perfect. But it was on for like 30 seconds and it was off. Yeah. It was EA sports. Yeah. I think the only thing of real note and it's not of real note to most people, it's to only people who like to play online shooters is they did do the cool thing and give out the hard line beta like right there.

Yeah, right away. Yeah. Definitely. Part of that promotion was if you own Battlefield 4, just go to the button on your PS4 and it just says download the beta right now. You played a little bit of it, right? I played about two hours of it. Does it feel like heat?

Yeah, it feels like heat. Good. It feels like a complete... Good payday felt like heat. Yeah, no. It feels like payday. It feels like a payday mod for Battlefield 4. It's really weird.

It is a completely different game. The fact that you're in cars and not tanks, you can blow up a car with small arms fire and that changes. You can shoot at the fucking tires. The fact that the main gameplay mode is not Conquest, it's Heist. It's blow up these trucks, steal the money, escape the map. Cops have infinite lives and the robbers don't. It's really interesting and it plays pretty well.

They rolled in the Battlefield 4 server improvements into this. The one thing that I will say is a huge downside is that by saying, hey, turn on your PS4 and get the beta right now, means that when you do that, your PS4 just goes, boom, the fucking store is broken and you just have to fight it for half an hour before you can even actually click a button. Oh yeah, but you know, I really liked how in the presentation section of that, there were like three references to Dead Space within the content of the game and not saying, yeah, we made Dead Space, but like the word Ishimura is clearly visible on like a sign in the background

and there's a couple things like that. I thought it was cute. There was a trailer that I didn't see. I want to know if you guys saw it, but apparently there was a new Criterion game or you're... It looks awesome. What is it called? So they didn't give it a name. No name yet.

They showed off a game that was, they basically said, they said, we never show things this early, right? And then they showed it to you and for once it was actually pre-alpha. No textures, really, you know, whatever. But that shit looks cool. But it's not burnout. It's first person and you're basically doing stunts off of vehicles into vehicles. You've got a lot of licenses and you can drive anything.

It's a stunt, man. Yeah. No, no, no. It's open world. It's like helicopter. There's got to be cars. It's just other vehicles. Sure, but there's ATV things.

Some of the main things was like helicopter, dive onto a ski dupe. So forget cars. That's pretty sick. It looks really fun. It's made by Criterion. Yeah, Criterion. Yeah, exactly. That's cool.

And they said, like, they basically, they're inspired by all those like YouTube, Selfie, GoPro guys. Extreme sports. Yeah. Dive out of a thing. Hopefully they make up for Paradise. Yeah. Wait, what?

Oh, fuck you. Oh, fuck you. Paradise is amazing. You're smiling. Are you insane? He is not smiling. OK, OK, OK. OK, OK.

He is deadly sad. So, no, but I'm with, I feel mad because Burnout 3. You're super mad about Burnout Revenge. Burnout 3 is one of the fucking sickest things ever. I was talking to somebody else and they were like, Burnout Revenge is the best burnout and they were getting super fucking pissed off. For me, it's a tie between take down and Burnout 3. I'm upset at revenge.

Burnout 3. Sorry, sorry. Burnout 2 and 3. I'm upset at revenge because 3 is a better game. No, no, no. They were super upset. They were like, Burnout Revenge is the best. It's bullshit that people say 3 is better than revenge.

You're fucking crazy. Paradise is very divisive where people are like, oh, I know Paradise is good. But I know Paradise is good. I know Paradise is good. The fact that I failed this event, I had to drive my ass all the way back to the event to start it again. So, no, start a new event. No, it's stupid.

There's tons of events that happen. This is the event I want to do. What can I choose? That was undoubtedly the worst thing about Paradise. I think they actually added that in in a patch. Well, they should have made it good at the start. It was amazing. That game was amazing.

A lot of people don't find it's amazing at all. Regardless. We're not going to swear your opinion. No, no, no. It's not worth having this argument. It certainly isn't. It's not half the planet away. Paradise is awesome and they released all that free DLC though.

That shit was amazing. Yeah, for sure. They never came out on PC. I would pay so much money to have my games narrated by Idris Elba. Because he convinced me that football was the greatest story ever told. Right? And he's coming in. Was that Idris Elba?

That was Idris Elba. Yeah, that was fucking Luther talking, man. That's a fat paycheck right there. He didn't hide that shit at all. He just like, full on, like, there's fish flying out of mouth. I was fishing chips or just in the teeth. The teeth are falling out. I'm going to fuck up this door, excuse me.

No. And the teeth are falling out. That being said, you're not buying no football game. Nope. Doesn't matter. I got to say FIFA 15, being that it's just an update to FIFA 14, shit that doesn't hold up graphically to NHL 15. No, no, it doesn't.

Because NHL looks gorgeous, but holy shit, FIFA is pailing. It was so weird seeing the sports game side by side and seeing that the tech was way behind for some games was like, oh. They really should have done those in the opposite order. Like, FIFA first and then the rest. FIFA sells like crazy everywhere. Why would you emphasize the hockey game? Because FIFA looks way worse than Madden.

No, but that's what I mean. Like, why wouldn't you emphasize the game that sells in every region, everywhere? Yeah. Right? Because no one like sells it in the Canadian land. No, but Europe fucking loves it. Yeah, well, we're not in Europe. We're in LA.

Well, apparently they know that. We're not in LA. They don't have to spend too much money on the E3s or worldwide event. No, it's not even just Europe's that love it. Like, remember, Sony just bundled FIFA 14 with the PS4 in Japan because that shit sells in Japan. Yeah, everybody loves soccer, slash football. Except for us.

Except for us. No, Mexico loves it and they're putting it on North America. Yeah, I guess BOSA. I also like how they pointed out the fact that like, just with Mary's Edge, they're like, faith is a girl that tattooed her eye. Yeah. She probably has a really good reason for doing that. I saw you want to know.

I saw on the Gav topic, just like, is that possible? And somebody's just one word, like, yes. Yeah. Yeah. No, totally. I don't see why not, but it seems fucking good. I see a lot of reasons why not. Yeah, it's her eyelid, right?

Not her eyeball. No, no, not her eyeball. I saw some dudes that tattooed their eyeballs in prison. You can do that. Yeah, exactly. Those dudes are hardcore. You need it for secrets. But don't do that.

Don't do that. Just that is a little thing, you know? It's like, that's why we're... Probably the worst thing you will ever do in your life. Yeah. Was there anything else to do with it? Not to my knowledge. EA closed with anything?

No. No. No. Dragon Age Inquisition drew you on from everyone ever. I was just going to say, do you guys still have that thing where you look at Inquisition and you're just like, no, no. When they showed you during the Microsoft press conference, like, it's the first time we didn't know what it was, and then the instant we figured out what it was, like...

You started eating stuff. Just like, the brain goes off and just like, they have poisoned the well so hard. Now that mindset, I know that the people that love Dragon Age love it hard. Not too hard. Yeah. Apologist hard. But, um, I don't know. My internet cut out during the MS conference just during the Inquisition bit.

And when I saw the, like, wrap up video at the end, and there was Dragon Age bits in it, I didn't know what it was, and I was like, shit, did they announce fucking, like, Elder Scrolls 6? Yeah. Like, this is big news. And then, like, a second later, I'm like... I haven't got on the phone. Oh, it was just fucking nothing.

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Back to the status quo. Oh, man. Just to jump ahead for a quick second, speaking of glimpses at the end, in the fucking Sony conference, did you catch that cel-shaded thing? There was, like, a half second of a cel-shaded... It was, like, Killer 7.

It was Counter Spy. What the fuck's that? What the hell's that? Counter Spy is a game that was announced last year for PS3, Vita, and PS4. And it's a game where you play as a spy in a 20s-inspired, cel-shaded environment, and you play as a top, like, secret agent spy guy. Did they show it during the conference? No.

We didn't see it. No, no, no. Actually, I found it really funny that they showed it too, because it was not in this conference anywhere but that one second. So we were really confused. We were in the middle of, like, yawning, and then we all jumped at that, and then went what the fuck was that thing? What is that?

And then it's gone. Yeah. Google Counter Spy, because Counter Spy exists, and there's very little, like, footage of it that looks like what they showed. Well, shit. But, like, it looks cool. I'm excited for it. I've been excited for it for a while, so good shit.

Well, we will Google that quickly while we take a word from our sponsors. Gentlemen, as it's been... Gentlemen. It's... Who are you talking to? Gentlemen. Okay. It's fine.

It's fine. It's a great day of all kinds of video game news and... Sure. And revelatons. Yeah. It's revelatons of a huge kind. I'm excited for geeky things. Like what?

If you're like, man, you know what I want? Some nerd shit. I want some nerd shit, and I want it now. Now, now, now. Now would be a great time. But do you want a slightly delayed, so that it might be a surprise? Yeah, we never know. I want nerd shit every month.

I want it to be, like, the way we felt today, watching those conferences. I want that every month. How many times a month? At my door. Once a month? Once a month to my door. I'm glad we established this. It's like a period, but happy.

Yeah. Holy shit. I just figured out there's a way we could do this. Tell me how. I don't believe you. Loot crates. Loot crates? I knew it.

I knew it. You seem vaguely familiar, someone. Yeah. It's like... I have good memories about it. I've heard about it. I've heard about it. It's like, it's not...

Oh, my brain. Wow. Yeah. It's a thing. Okay. So you jump on to lootcrate.com slash super. Okay. You enter the promo code super.

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They generally go for about $13.37 a month plus shipping and handling. Woolly. And you get... Did you just say $13.37? I did say $13.37. That's pretty good. That's me. That's some nerd shit.

It's not bad. It's not bad. I love goodies that include all kinds of nerd shit. Like, last box we got, I got a Zelda shirt out of that. Yeah, I know. Yeah. That's why I remember. You opened it and you looked really happy.

That was some good shit. You never look happy. You're a miserable fuck. No. You opened it and you're like... I've seen that. You're like, yeah. These are the commercial goods I love.

I want this. Just, you know... I need this to fill the empties. You know, yeah. That empty part in you? Just fill it with like raw, raw consumerism that you've tricked yourself into thinking it's a gift. Rub it all over yourself.

For you. It's great. It's just perfect. And emptiness. Dude, and that nerd shit will continue for as long as you are down. So you don't have to worry about fixing the problem. What a problem. Exactly.

Just hide behind your Loot Crate, Wally. That's it. Matt knows the deal. So that guys, once again, that's lootcrate.com slash super, promo code super, head on down there today. Thank you, Loot Crate. Thank you very much, Loot Crate. Thanks.

Guys, we talked about this not too long ago, but there's that survey site that the Mid Bed does for us. The survey site that our listeners are so good at kicking this shit out of. We broke it. The listeners destroyed it. But they all came back at us just like, what the fuck? How'd you get these numbers? They could destroy it again, and I bet they could do it better.

They could do it harder this time. Well, no, we want them to actually answer the question. Don't D-O-S the site. Just visit and answer the questions. But that being said. Destroy by answering questions. For those of you that happen to not catch it, there is a survey you can fill out. It's really quick.

It's 12 questions. It takes less than five minutes to do, and essentially it helps us find sponsors for the show by telling us who you are and what you're interested in. It's basically like, hey man, do you want to hear an ad for this? No? You think that's bullshit? Tell us. And it will be less likely that we put this bullshit.

There you go. It's a win-win. Oh, I like this. It's a win-win. Yeah, totally is. Win-win. Also, we get to feel really good when you fuck that website up. That website is www.podsurvey.com slash super.

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It would really help us out. Slowly. That's again, podsurvey.com slash super. Thank you, everybody. Thanks, listeners. And we're back. Let's talk about Ubisoft. So, Ubisoft, first of all, good job bringing back Ayesha Tyler.

Yeah, she's killing it. Yeah, fuck that. I like her. It was better than other years with Ayesha Tyler. You know, I just... I like her. I like Ayesha Tyler. I think the only problem I got with Ayesha Tyler is that I have this like weird surreal

thing happening in my brain the whole time. I keep expecting Archer to walk out and yell at you. Because she is Lana. It's impossible. I can't... I cannot... Yeah, I expected that the whole time. Also, it takes a moment to realize like this is the conference where swearing is happening

because they don't care. Yeah, because they're friends. Why is there no Archer game made by Telltale? Yeah, I know, right? What's up, Liam? For me with Ayesha, it's just like she flip-flops between making like super silly jokes about how this guy is out of shape and saying girl would. And it's like one of these jokes is far dumber than the other like on a level that I don't

even want to entertain. Fair enough. I still think girl would is one of the dumbest jokes ever on a conference that somehow was recurring. Well, I think the first occurrence was fine. I think making it a running gag was kind of dumb. The recurring retroactively killed it for me. Anyway, yeah.

No, she was alright. She was alright. What did they show? They showed the show. Oh, you can dance with your phone. Yeah, they did. Dance with your phone? Yeah.

Dancing, dancing. Okay, so that brings me to my second point that I'm glad you guys like jumbled my brain back together. Ubisoft, I know you're listening to this, Yves. Yeah. Okay. Mr. Guillermo. I'm sure you're listening to our podcast.

Stop. Fucking stop trying to engage the audience in live laser tag or dance bullshit. Fucking stop. They went so far as to seed the crowd with dancers this year because they knew, they fucking knew that nobody in that crowd gave a fuck. So when the crowd shot happens, they wanted it to look like there were people in the crowd actually dancing. Yeah.

Fucking. I read it's a book. I read it's tweet. I'm not sure how true this tweet is, but it was someone who was apparently there who was told to stop dancing after the segment. Nice. Wait, just stop dancing. I find it really amusing.

He was just like, fuck it, I'm just going to dance. Going to go for it. Yeah. And after the segment, someone told him to stop dancing. And then he said, no, not until persona is shown. I don't know how it went from there. Stopped the conference? Yes.

Dancing on that. Personally, I'm really disappointed that I mentioned this earlier when we were watching Sony's podcast. Yeah, their podcast. Their conference. Well, it was basically a podcast, nothing new. We're not still on Ubisoft? We're still on Ubisoft.

No, but I'm just trying to know how Ubisoft was really disappointed that there was no mention of Prince of Persia at all. When Ubisoft themselves, like a guy was interviewed a few weeks ago that said, Prince of Persia fans will have a lot to look forward to soon. He meant Far Cry. No. No. He meant Prince of Persia fans like Far Cry.

Yeah. That's what he meant. And plus all of this. The new Far Cry takes place near Persia? Yeah. No, it doesn't. Elephants are Persia. No, they're Indian and Thai.

Oh, you don't know. So I was personally let down as a Prince of Persia fan and they clearly didn't care about it. Yeah. Okay, well, I disagree there. We don't know anything about the game, so how can we say they don't care about it? Well, because they didn't show it at the biggest conference of the year. But maybe A, it wasn't ready, or B, maybe they're going to show it at Gamescom.

Maybe it's got other plans. Let's wait and see before we say it. Well, we did. We waited until E3 and decided not to show it to us. But I mean, if we see it next year... Now, now, now, now says Matt. Well, when I'm told about what the gameplay details are and what engine it runs on, I expect to see it.

Why don't you call Sony and complain? Oh, wait, that sounds only funny when it's on me. But I would, but I'm not a crazy asshole. This is a true statement. They might as well just cancel it, right? They might as well just cancel it. Just saying they don't care is the most dismissive, like, I'm arbitrarily disliking this company because they didn't do something.

Like, Capcom doesn't care about Mega Man. That's not not true. It's not a not care thing, it's a, we don't think, or we don't want to. It's not not care. You don't know that. Yeah. And again, and again, I, no, no, and I agree. I don't know that either, but I think it's presumptuous for either of us to say we know

how they operate. Fair enough. You can then change it to they don't care enough to give it a spot at their E3 conference. Well, unless of course it wasn't ready to be shown, which is why I don't want to be presumptuous about it. Yeah. Personally, I'd like to think it was not ready and it wouldn't have been way too early or something along those lines.

So it's show a CCG trailer, everyone else is doing it. And then. Announce it. Announce it exists. Put it on a list. To which we would then get upset for not seeing Gameplay. Well, I'd like to know it exists for sure, because we still don't. Okay, fuck all that.

Blood dragons are elephants. Blood dragons are elephants. But motherfucking elephants, man. Like, elephants. Elephants are blood dragons. But maybe you could rise. Elephants, but I mean, it's still far correct, whatever. If you could.

Blood elephant. Yeah. Okay. That's what matters about Far Cry 4. Just, you know, I mentioned it before, but I was going to say, like, the trailer that they showed for the division in the conference was way better than the one they showed. They're pretty good. Yeah.

Because it's nice to look at our fucking engine, look at it go. You know, there's just environments happening and not actual loss. I'm really sorry, but the fact that you mentioned the division makes me think of the thing that has better graphics in the division, which is that 1930s Peacock Cup game, where you're playing that Mr. Cup. Yeah. Cuphead. Remember we saw it in the Microsoft conference?

Yes. Yes. And just everyone starts talking about on Twitter is like, why is this the thing I remember the most? Yes. So that's just called Cupman. Fuck you. Because you're like a half Cupman.

Traditional animation. Yeah. So I, sorry. I just popped in my head and I didn't think we'd talk about it. Yeah. No, it still looks great. It still looks great. I'm, in fact, surprised.

I was surprised by the R6 reveal at the end there. Yeah. Because... That's a rainbow fucking six game. Yeah. It is totally... That looks good. And it looks cool.

And as someone who like read the Rainbow Six book, I'm like, I like to see that return to the original thing. That being said, have they ever had two Tom Clancy games out at the same time like us? Yes. They've had a Xenon at the same time. Every single military game of that type has the word Tom Clancy in front of it. Well, I was going to say with the Splinter Cell and the War. I was going to say with the exception of Splinter Cell and the Rainbow Six line or the other

thing. No. I believe, I believe there was a year where Ghost Recon and Vance Warfighter 2 and Hawks came out at the same time. I was about to say Tom Clancy's Hawks. I know the Vegas games came alongside other stuff. Yeah. Okay.

Like Ghost Recon and Vegas were like next time. Tons and tons of stuff. Alongside Shit Splinter Cell. So yeah. They can't release enough. And also in that same year was End War. Yeah, End War. Yeah.

It's like we bought his name and now he's too dead to stop us. Well, what's so... Well, I like how he's not dead. Unless the pulling manuscripts that he wrote before he died, like what the fuck is his name doing there? It's a Tom. He didn't write Hawks. That's for sure.

Tom Clancy as a brand name is a Tone. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Madden. I was just going to stop calling it Madden. No. But notice that the NFL logo is now in there. Yeah.

It's not Madden 2015. It's Madden NFL 2015. Yeah. Yeah. People still call it Madden. Oh, whatever. Do we still have to show anything else of particular interest? They showed off.

Morse has a screen. Yeah. Again, the World War I game, again I forgot. Valiant Hearts. Valiant Hearts. Valiant Hearts. Yeah. Great trailer.

Yeah. Game looks good. It's interesting that they're doing serious subjects matter with that visual style. World War I is some serious ass shit. Yeah. And like the implication that the characters you're playing as are super dead. And that dog is going to your graves is like, oh, jeez, Coromaro, no. Coromaro's the fucking sickest shit.

Hey, more important than anything we're going to talk about. We can have this. Fuck Ken or not fuck Ken. Not fuck Ken. Fuck you. Not fuck Ken. Because you, no, because you, I heard you guys arguing about this. You're remembering it wrong.

You're super remembering it wrong. I watched it like two nights ago on YouTube. It was, he, it's not just that he was a kid, it was totally like a situation where it wasn't his fault. It is so his fault. It was not his fault. He should have been shot instead. Stragas full of shit.

The kid should have been shot. Yeah. Because he's a stupid annoying kid. No. Stragas full of shit. Wow. Wow. And Shinji wanted it that way.

Fuck that. So whatever. Anyway. And if you max out as the Fem C, you get a special play in the end. What an amazing newbie self-conference. Yeah. I was also really bummed, Matt, that they didn't show Prince Persia. And also, like, I'm still bummed that Young Good N' Evil 2 is kind of...

Wow. Yeah, that also doesn't exist. Oh fuck that. I forgot about that. I forgot about that. Oh my God. I just realized. They also didn't show Quantum Break at the Microsoft conference.

I just realized. No, it's nothing. To people that don't know what Persona 3 is, like, I'm saying, yeah, stupid dumb kids should get shot. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And that's how we're keeping it.

Context is important. It's not, though. I don't think that stupid dumb kids should get shot. Why did you say it? Just this anime one. Oh, okay. But you said it, though, so I'm going to quote it on time. Spoiler, spoiler, spoiler.

Shoot that kid. It's not elaborate. Anyway. The... The... What was there? Nothing. Yeah, they didn't show any...

No Quantum Break. No Quantum Break. No Beyond Good N' Evil. Yeah. I mean, in R6, the idea of, like, destroying walls and building fortifications is kind of fun, but, I mean, like... Yeah. It looks good overall.

Because, I mean, I remember when, like, black, like, that was the whole thing. Yeah, I remember. Like, you can shoot through this wall. If you shoot hard enough, you can shoot through the level. Well, because now it's more than just shooting through. Now we've reached a point where destructibility can really look and feel that good. And for a little while, I've been wondering when we get a game with destructibility on that level.

I mean... And it looks like this is finally the one where it's like, yeah, everything's going to break real nice. Like, I played Red Faction, you know? I'm sure. Did you play Bad Company, by the way? Or... No.

Okay. Because that one did a good too, but... In Red Faction, did you shoot rockets into the wall until you couldn't go any farther? I did everything. Of course. Yeah, you did. That shit was awesome. Yeah.

And then you stopped. Yeah. The game couldn't fucking handle it. Yeah. Um... Then I guess we might as well jump over to Sony. Sony? Yeah.

Wait, really? Like, you guys didn't like it? We hated it. It was so boring. We had a really tough time. So here's the thing. Metal... Wait, wait, wait.

At what point did you have a tough time? When Businessman came out. What's his name? Sean something? When the guy that's not... Yeah. Um... Jack Trenton.

Jack Trenton came out. So you had a tough time for the last 25 minutes? It was rough. Yeah. Um... Just like priors? What about the first hour in five minutes? It was fine.

Well, it was fine, but there was like, where are your Japanese games? Where are your new games that you didn't know existed? So honestly, the Japanese games are going to be at TGS. Beast Souls? Well, this is a worldwide conference. We... No, I don't care, Pat. We still can't even...

Well, that's why you can understand then why we would be bored. Let's elaborate. Let's elaborate. It's hilarious because we keep saying Beast Souls even though Beast Souls was never a thing. It was never even a code name. No. It's what we assume the title would be. And now that we know what the title is, it's Bloodborne, we keep saying Beast Souls.

It's called Bloodborne. I switched over to Bloodborne. What was the Platinum game called? It was called... Scalebound. Scalebound. Those two words, it's going to take a while for those to cement in their head. They're not as good as the ones you made up in your head.

Yeah. Well, you know, so fucking Beast Souls is cool. And... Why was there no gameplay of the thing that there's gameplay of? So weird. There was that. There was... I thought Entwined was pretty cool by Pixelopus.

Oh, no. Entwined was the thing that made us all fall asleep. Yeah. Oh, really? Like, all three of us are sitting there looking at Entwined and we're like, is this game as nothing as it appears to be? Because I looked at it and the answer is yes. It looks like a Q Entertainment thing.

Anything else going on? And then it's kind of like, ah, not really. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, it looks fun. Also, don't forget LittleBigPlanet3 also made us all fall asleep. Oh, yeah. So removing...

Because it went on so long. I mean, it looks good, though. No. But LittleBigPlanet3 looks really good. The presentation was ten minutes too long and it was five minutes. Yeah. The MGS thing was, again, another leak that would have been a hype moment for us. It would have been a hype moment if it hadn't leaked, yeah.

And like Andrew House even said, like some of you guys may have already had a peek at this. To clarify on the LittleBigPlanet thing, Liam, like you say it looks good. I don't think anything to do with LittleBigPlanet looks good. I think those games are literally the worst garbage ever because of the jump physics. So when it's like, here's ten minutes of, you can do anything except make it control well. Sure.

I'm just like, I'm coming out of my skin. I'm so like, this is a waste of my fucking time. No, sure, sure. But I mean, game looks good. It looks better than the other LittleBigPlanet. Oh, one thing I was wondering about, just to jump back to Ubi for a second, the crew. Yeah. Being the whole United States.

Yeah, that's bullshit. I looked up interview. It's a tiny United States. Yeah. So they come out and they fucking say that we have modeled the entirety of the United States as roadways. There are 7,000 miles of roadways, it's the whole U.S. And then they're like, here's a time lapse from like in New York to Florida or Vegas

or something. And Miami to Los Angeles or something. It doesn't matter. And it's this huge, huge, long time lapse and it's the whole United States. I'm like, that's bullshit. Like the instant that ended, I looked up interviews and they're like, it would take you two hours to drive across the entire map in a fast sports car. It's like, like Liam said, it's a tiny United States.

Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Because I'm like, there's no way you're driving overnight in a day to cross the coast. Those are like bold faced fucking lies, like what they were saying up on that stage. So there's basically like city hubs and then some roadways in between them. Yeah. And yeah, okay.

All right, all right. The map is still fucking gigantic, but it's like you fucking, you are lying. Like you did not model the entire United States road system. That is why. Because like, like just cause is still, I think they did just for a tiny United States. Just cause is like insanely massive discuss who is the one that's like, you look at its map compared to other game maps and you're like, why, why do they even do it? Yeah.

Because there's nothing to do. All the others fit in this map. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't think that the United States is smaller than the just cause. So yeah. Yeah. No. That's like, it's a good way of looking at it.

You know. I was really happy to see like Grim Fandango coming to PS4. That was cool. I kept saying, is it Grim Fandango? It must be Grim Fandango. Yeah. Exactly. And then it was Grim Fandango.

That was great. That was great. Magica 2. I don't know if you guys like Magica, but I think Magica is pretty sick. So I'm happy with Magica. I don't know what Magica is. We had a really weird moment where the Magica stuff started to come up and I was getting really excited at the Magica trailer because it's really good.

And Matt and Willie asked me like, what's Magica and I explained it and they're like, so you like it? Like, no. No. I actually really don't like Magica at all, but it's awesome. And I recognize that it's great. And I love everything that developers do, including releasing stupid Vietnam War expansions to their Magic game.

That's the best fucking thing. I love that one. So I want all the success to them in the world. Hey Liam, what's your hashtag favorite game? My oh dude. Okay. That was one of the most illegitimate fucking piece of shit things ever. And I gotta say, I spoke about it last week where I said, I'm not sure if Phil Spencer's

like legitimate. I still can't tell. And the way he speaks, I still can't tell if he's legitimate or not. That must mean he's doing a good job. Better than Mattrick. No, exactly. But like with other guys, like you can tell, but with him, I can't tell at all if he's legitimate or not.

Why are you drawing your nipples? Yeah. Well, why are you drawing your nipples? I'm not drawing my nipples. You just took a pen out of your pen. I can see you do it. You took a pen out of your pocket and started drawing around your nipples. Not drawing my nipples.

Okay. Well, is it, did it get burned off in an accident? You have to draw them on? That's not what happens. Every few months. I did not draw my nipples. Okay. Fair enough.

Okay. I want everyone to know that this is not one of those things that Matt and I just fucking say. Yeah. It's total bullshit. Will he absolutely just pick something out of his pocket and started rubbing his chest with it? It's called.

I have no idea what the fuck is going on. It's called tied to good. Whatever. It's a little tied pen. Jesus Christ. He was drawing his nipples. But you have to assume that from our perspective, it looks like you were trying to draw your nipples.

It's so filthy. You've just been sitting here the whole time. He sweats profusely from his nipples. It's called milk idiot. It's all this E3 boredom. The lactation just goes. It's safe. I thought I'm really excited for let it die.

Okay. Yeah. We're still not sure what that even is. Yeah. I am excited. It's kind of tidal though. I have an idea of Suda making a game that is an RPG so that he doesn't have to worry about gameplay because there were some bits in there that looked like some in-engine shots

and whatever it was, it looked kind of compelling and nice, so I'm kind of looking for it. It's like have a game be your creepy feel and all your fun stuff and then when it comes to video game time, you don't need to worry about it because it's an RPG. Part of me wants it to be like a grid based strategy RPG with that tone. Sure. I would love to see his take on like Hybrid Haven or something like that. Sure. Yeah.

No. Hybrid Heaven is his take. Sorry, Hybrid Heaven. No, that was his game. Yeah, I guess. Like you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I'm taking my take on this.

Okay, seriously. I was really happy to see Kingdoms Under Fire 2 be a free to play game. That's what that was. That's what that was. I kept calling it Two Worlds. Yeah. Okay. That's a different thing.

I can't play it. But like I've actually really been looking forward to this game so for them to say that, it's like oh well. I don't remember this at all so I think I might have actually fallen asleep. It was in the trailer for Free to Play Games. Okay. It's a Korean fantasy like game with massive armies and stuff. Yeah, that's what that was.

It wasn't Black Desert or whatever. Yeah. No, no. Black Desert was not at the conference. No S-Liter for you. No. Motherfucking No Man's Sky, man. No Man's Sky.

That looks good. I want to say that's the best thing I saw in all of them. It's so fucking ridiculous. Oh, really? Yeah. I can't believe that this team already didn't know it existed. Yeah, I would have blown my dick off. It's a team of minus three guys making this game.

It makes me no fucking sense. Just this like... Don't forget they also drowned the other day. Yeah. Yeah. Just the idea of like gigantic space sci-fi, getting a ship and fucking go. Of course, yeah. Shit.

My dick. Well, I got the thing I wanted to see last time which is you showed us the jungle and you showed us space fights, show us the in-between and then you went to a city and we saw some like obelisk things and I was like, okay, cool. You have the in-betweens because that's important. Don't just do, you know, God, a spore. Yeah. Don't do spore.

Don't just do that. Don't do that. Just light jump from one to the other type of thing, but god damn. It's so hot. I think that's the best thing they showed. Yeah, absolutely. I agree. Well, I mean, I still think the Phantom Pain trailer was the best thing they showed.

Oh, yeah. I guess. But Phantom Pain isn't exclusive. No, I disagree because, because like, No Man's Sky is not exclusive. What are you talking about? It's for PC and PS4, I thought. Debut. That's not exclusive.

Console. Console. Well, for the things that I want, I would play it on. No, but it should be on the Xbox six months later. It's gonna be on the Xbox. Oh, yeah. That's what console debut. It's this weird twist of terminology.

No, no, no. Actually, in this specific case it's not because the guys at Hello Games actually said they don't have enough staff to work on the Xbox one version at the same time and they were able to start working on PS4 earlier. I think No Man's Sky takes it because I know what Metal Gear is and I know I have a strong feeling that Ground Zeroes is going to be amazing. But like Phantom Pain. I mean, Phantom Pain is going to be amazing, but like Phantom, the fucking Phantom Dust.

Phantom Dust. Fucking fuck. Phantom Dust. No Man's Sky. Like I look at that and I just have this like, I don't know what the fuck, this is so cool what the fuck is this. Like you know, it's this big, I don't want to use it because this term is so dumb and cliched, but it's the first game that I've seen that's like, that's a next gen couldn't

fucking do it unless on a PC game. Like it's just like that is so giant and stupid and ambitious and expansive and it's so weird and different. I want it. I want No Man's Sky so bad. And Witcher 3 looks great, but that demo looks great. Witcher 3. Yeah, Witcher 3's combat looks a bit a bit underwhelming because I saw the the the beast

drop down and I was like, how does this compare to the Dragon's Dogma fight with a similar creature? Poorly, you do not jump on it and fight it in the air. Okay. Yeah, well, the game is not built around like, you know, certainly not, you know, and again, like, oh, frames are dropping like that, that, that not to be sure demo was like really like the way that the Witcher games are supposed to be demoed is the way that CD Projekt does at their own things and they do like a 22 minute long quest from start to finish and

like, there's no way they're going to get that. Those are way better. Yeah. Like the preview they showed last E3 behind closed doors was like an hour and it was super super long and exhaustive and it was blowing people's minds. No footage of Shadows of the Fallen. Surprised by that. Shadows of the Fallen?

Oh, no, sorry. Shadows of the Fallen. Lords of the Fallen? Yeah. Right. Well, that's not for anybody. It's publisher is like a nobody publisher. Like it wouldn't really show up in the conferences anyway.

Oh, and the fuck am I mixing the name up? Wait, Lords of the Fallen? No. You mean Shadow of Mordor? Stop, stop. That's, that's my problem. I mixed up the names. What game?

Because those are games that do exist. Yes. And I mean the Lord of the Rings game. Yeah, that's. Lord of the Rings, Shadow of Mordor. Sorry. It has a whole walkthrough. Yes.

It's not, since it's Warner Brothers, it's like, who wants it? Is there a room for any of us? We saw, we saw Arkham. Yeah, but. Yeah. Which one are you going to play? So here's the deal that Lord of the Rings. Hey, Mortal Kombat, you're right.

You used to be a Batman game. Alright. And so it's like, are you going to push the real Batman game or the fake new Lord of the Rings Batman game? Mortal Kombat, what'd you think of this? I don't see why. What'd you think of the characters, Liam? I thought they looked, like you mean the new ones, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I thought they looked perfectly fine, particularly the, the woman. Yeah. So they look like they, they write in with the next, the rest of them. Yeah. No issues with them. And then they're all writing a dude, like, you know, that's MK.

Yeah. I know, like, very little about MK, but like, Scorpion with his swords and stuff was pretty cool. I imagine he had that in, like, one of the other games or something. Yeah. Yeah. Three and then the, the DA games and stuff. Yeah.

Personally, like I said this before, but I was just a little underwhelmed by the whole thing. The actual reveal trailer got me more excited when I watched it. So I'm like, it looks a lot like, you know. I actually agree with you. I actually totally agree with you. Bull right show. Yeah.

Like every month is a new reveal. Movado. Fuck Movado. Movado was the most pointless MK character that I can ever think of because his entire place in the story was killing a cooler, earlier character and taking his weapons. Yeah. Like Movado's storyline was that he killed Cabal, which is weird because he sucks shit in every way compared to Cabal.

And then Cabal came and that became back in the next game. It's like, it's, it's like, oh, here's our new character, like Sakura. Her story is that she kills Ryu. Yeah. But like, but like, at least he had that moment where as Reiko shows up as young Shao Kahn. And then it's like, no way. If you need to know anything about Willy, Pat, is that Willy fucking loves this one moment with Reiko.

I shut up about MK4's ending. Shut up. I can't believe how stupid this shit is. It's like stupid. It's not. It's not Shao Kahn. Shao's talking about this shit. It's fucking some idiot that put his mask on when Shao Kahn's not around.

That's how you read Kahn. Yeah. And then he goes, what are you doing in my throne room? Get out. And also I didn't murder you despite being a murderous, murderous guy. And you're sitting in my chair. Yeah. Wearing my hat.

Exactly. Yeah. Who's next? Oh, you're next on my list. Yeah. So easily. So I'd say that Sony and Microsoft's conferences. I'm not.

I'm not. No, I just want to get to a specific point. I'm using a broader word. Sure, sure, sure. I'd say that their conferences were equal right up until the point where the new CEO of SEA came out onto the stage. Sean something. Sean L.

Something. Yeah. I feel like the ghost of Don Matric was given to Sony. A stand. And has like formed into this new douchebag businessman. He never stopped moving his hands. He's the most, that is the most business ass business fucking man I've seen in ages. We couldn't handle it.

You'll watch us like fucking losing our shit over it. I will. No, I absolutely will. I'll stumble through that. I still think Sony's conference was on the whole better than Microsoft's because of the sheer quantity of games I'm interested in that were there. Remember, it's he's saying this because of the interest that he had in the particular lineups.

Okay. Exactly. And I have big issues with Sony's conference. Like for example, where the goddamn fuck was Freedom Wars? Told you. I fucking told you motherfucker. He called it. He called it.

Where was the last party? Well, we had a very surreal moment Liam where we were watching them talking about TV for a while in the Sony conference and all that fucking power show and we're just like, did they fucking swap with Microsoft this year? What happened? You know, like one guy came out and said games, games, games. And the other guy came out and said TV shit. And not only that, but he did it last instead of first.

That's why competition is important. Keep yourself in check. Yeah. It was a sequence that just sapped all the life and energy of I will show me a new game. And like it was 20, 25 minutes, whereas like Microsoft wall, you know, it didn't like blow anything out of the water. It didn't have that huge wall of nothing.

If that wall with the powers thing and the SEA president and the metrics and all that shit was a little bit straight up removed, Sony would have had a much stronger conference over all. Conference. Yeah. And we're saying this as a presentation. And I'm saying this as a guy that likes my Brian Michael Bendis. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I think powers is really cool, but I do agree that it's kind of, it went on a bit like not just a bit. It went on a lot. Well, it was definitely too long because we can compare it to when James Cameron was up there and talking about Avatar. I was like, who the fuck is going to tell you have nothing to show, but you won't leave. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, no, definitely. I think what's interesting is the PlayStation TV, which is the rename the rebranding and renaming of the PlayStation Vita TV. Very smart to rename the very smart. Very intelligent to get away from the Vita name for that one. Although that combined with the rest of the conference, pretty much cements that SEA is not putting any, does not appear to be putting any really high level effort into Vita games,

which makes sense, unfortunately, because the money is just not there in America as far as large games go. We saw Tales of Borderlands and Minecraft, and those are games where you look at them and they're like, yeah, those are Western appeal games that don't take absurd quantities of money to make slash port. But the fact that they didn't even show Freedom Wars, which I think, there's a tacit interest in that even in America. The fact that they didn't show that at all, I think it's pretty demo-ish.

At least in some sort of sizzle reel. So that was my problem. I understand they don't give a Freedom Wars demo because it's a fucking hunting game on the Vita. I understand the West isn't on board with that. But you're in a position in which you have a wall of Vitas with games behind you, as I'm most saying. You are picking out Minecraft, Borderlands thing, this, it's like, and you-

Tales of Hearts are gotta mention, but not Freedom Wars. You specifically ignore a game that you are making. Well, not just one, but also like Over My Dead Body 2 comes out later this year. Sure, but like the Freedom Wars one is like the most baffling. It's like it is a- Freedom Wars is the most baffling. It is first party. Yeah.

What possible thing could you possibly have to lose by adding it into the B-roll and mentioning it as one of those like four or five? Yeah, exactly. You're publishing it. You have- And it's particularly- You have everything- It's particularly surprising.

You have everything to lose by people not knowing what that game is. But they'll fucking- Especially when it's actually an interesting game, like yeah. And with the same breath, they'll reference the fucking rabbit. What was it? They'll grab it. They'll- They grab it again?

What was the fucking- Vibribbit. Vibribbit. They talked about vibribbit. The most baffling shit I've- What? So confusing. Didn't the president guy work on it?

That's why they brought it up? I think so. I think so. Is that what that was? Okay, we could- We talked over it pretty sure. We couldn't figure out why they brought it up. We were-

We were getting really weird at that point. But yeah, with the name change though they're definitely suited to fight Amazon now, right? Yeah, for sure. Not sure it's gonna- Can you just cut here real quick? Someone's at the door. Okay. I just need to-

No worries. Okay. So that guy who was at the door was literally a salary man and he's like, oh, wrong, wrong guy. Ah, semi-message. So he's always a salary man. Yeah, exactly. He opens up the door and he looks at you and he's like, ahhh, and they got cameras zooming

in and out. Yeah. And then you're kidnapped and have to win your livelihood through mail order contact. What is a salary man doing at your door at what's probably 115? Having an adventure. Frankly, he said it was a mistake, but it's also 315. Okay. So yes, having an adventure.

Okay. That's 315. Yeah. Any closing thoughts there, Liam? About the Vita? No, about everything. About everything, man. Like we're about to fall apart over here, man.

Like- Yeah. You know what? We're closing up shop a little bit early games. A lot of PS4 games, like there's a lot of content coming to that machine in the next year. I guess I'm just excited to see TGS and Gamescom, because those will be a reflection of whether or not E3 was padded out or there actually is that much content coming.

Yeah. Yeah. Because I expect TGS is going to be quite packed with like the first generation of Japanese PS4 games and obviously, probably based on all the ones we know that are in development, like Nippon Echi and Team Ninja, we know are making stuff. We don't know what. Right. And-

Matt and I felt that you were probably a lot closer to picking up an X-Bone, but we don't know if you're actually there yet. Yeah. No, I'm going to buy one this year. Okay. Oh, for me this year for sure, but I need the one last push. D4. Yeah.

Yeah, sure. You should have shown D4. You would have bought one. If they showed D4 gameplay or- Not gameplay, dialogue or cut- Sure. Sure. Or any scalebound gameplay, I would have already bought one on Amazon, but-

Yeah. No, scalebound D4, Sunset Overdrive, and Phantom Dust, like absolutely, I'm going to pick one up for sure. And Killer Instinct also, I like Killer Instinct. As long as they keep playing my bills, I'll keep liking Killer Instinct. I was going to say, all your checks from Microsoft are in the mail, you shills. Well, and it's nice that even though they switched to fucking Lang Studio- Yeah, the checks still arrive on time.

Yeah, no, it's really nice that there was no interruption, no interruption at all. Really, really streamlined stuff, guys. Lang must have nothing to do with it. Shout out to the Xbox One, the All-in-one entertainment system. Matt and I are going to see if we can work on getting some of that Dead Rising money. Oh, yeah, shit, that too, that is something I want to get an expo in for, that Dead Rising DLC looks so good. I really want to know what you think of it, Matt.

Yeah, I know, like I said, I would really want to try it as soon as they get home, but fuck no, I'm going to bed, so yeah. So, Willie, what's your takeaway from day zero of E3? Oh, the pre-Nintendo? Yeah, because Nintendo's tomorrow, and we're going to talk about Nintendo on next week's podcast. And we're also going to talk about the conference thing. Yeah, no, my takeaway is, you know, it's pretty simple. It's, Mirror's Edge is still happening.

The Division is, I'm excited for that, and fucking No Man's Sky, I need it, need it, need it now. Great, Matt, what do you got? What do you take away? No Man's Sky, I'm just, like, I think I'm just like, just a bit more on board with Scalebound, because I think I'm just maybe realizing that, like, yeah, we're all going to buy it, like, I think we all are. Absolutely. But I was just like, everything's CG anyway, so why?

You might as well start practicing on Monster Hunter. That pseudo game looked really good, but I was thinking too much. Group Fandango is awesome. Yes, you're right. You're right. Yeah. My takeaway has nothing to do with anything specific. It's too much CG, too much games that clearly slipped into 2015.

Like, this is a good E3 for next year. Yeah. Like, every single thing. And next year's E3 will be even better. That's every E3 though. No, this one's way worse than usual. Is it really? Yes, it is.

For the amount of 2015 games? Think about Sony's conference last year. I think how many of those are 2014 or 2015? I guess, but that's a brand new console a year. You would have figured that it would have been out by now. Everything is a year old. Oh yeah, I was also really disappointed by that order, Charlie. It was really boring.

Oh, so boring. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I wish I had the order, but I don't. And Metal Gear's a given. A bunch of the stuff looks really good, but so much of it is just like a trailer that shows none of the game. And then it says 2015 at the end of it.

So it's a little hard to get excited for a bunch of these. Liam, take away. I really liked Microsoft's press conference. However, I feel like it was a bit of Monkey See Monkey Do with Sony. And I feel like they just didn't nail any of the core concepts. As well as Sony did last year, particularly their little like Indie showcase, which was, it just felt a lot more like there wasn't as sorry. No one's ever going to top last year's Sony conference.

Yeah. No, no, but I mean, like even like the concepts that they took away and when they did the Indie showcase, it felt a lot more just like, let's just shove these all in a row and get them out as opposed to Sony where they had them up on stage and they, you know, talked about them and stuff like that. I don't know. It felt a bit more, felt a bit more earnest, but maybe that's just me. Microsoft was really good.

Sony, I also thought was really good. Although you're totally right that it dragged in the end and I'm super bummed that like Vita is clearly hurting in the West. And like this is a reflection of that. Oh yeah. Not that I didn't already know it, but like now it's like, yeah, yeah, it really is. The sixth nail in the coffin. The PlayStation family has a black sheep.

Yeah. Yes, unfortunately. I think, and then EA, EA gets a solid C plus for doing nothing, absolutely nothing offensive, nothing that I look at and say that's not good, but nothing that interested me either. I refuse to grade EA's paper because it doesn't even get... No, because it's unfinished. It's unfinished. Like you didn't even...

Well, I don't know. They showed enough like games that were unfinished. For me, it's like if you're going to talk about a game and you brought it in and you don't even have a trailer, you have concept art, like... But that was like three of their games and also the criteria on one looked six. Yeah, but... And also you don't care about sports, guys. One of your games comes in that state.

I don't know. I think, interestingly, like I mentioned it a bit earlier to Matt, but it's like for Nintendo to fucking take it home, Nick, tomorrow, all they have to do is just show more of the stuff. Show more of the stuff that's announced. But for Nintendo specifically, show gameplay of what's coming out and just name things. Nintendo is the one that can just name stuff that has nothing, but if it's certain names... Well, here's the thing. Nintendo...

They don't need a new big IP. Nintendo's in a spot right now that if I see a real trailer of SMT crossfire emblem, they win E3 for me. And a release date for... Release date for X. It's like, that's it. It's like the games they've... I already know exist, interest me so greatly. But all I need is confirmation that they are what they are in my head.

And I'm done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, I have really, really high expectations for Nintendo to see three because there's a lot of conversation on the internet and I find it a bit weird that people expect maybe like one or two or three new games from them. But I think like people kind of forget that Nintendo is fucking massive. And if you look at it like we came out two years ago and all those games shipped, thus the next wave of games from those developers have to ship within this next fiscal year.

So I'm expecting actually a lot of new stuff on 3DS as well. I'm expecting tons of new games tomorrow, not just three. You know, I think there's a lot because their development force is huge and they never lay off. And it has been two years since the last big wave of Nintendo games. So this will be our last chance to make a prediction for tomorrow's Nintendo conference. Liam, you may be listening to this after the Nintendo conference. I think they're going to show off mostly what we already know exists. And maybe they'll give us a little Zelda trailer of the new Zelda.

No, Zelda's coming. Zelda's super coming. I think they'll be no Zelda. I think they'll just say we're making a new Zelda. Well, Reggie already went on record to say like we almost showed it at New York Comic-Con. But Liam, these are their predictions. Don't contradict them now. Wait for them to be wrong later.

You know what? You know what? You're not wrong. I'll find an extra big crow for you to eat. Personally for Nintendo, I'm going to, if they don't show what Metroid, if they don't at least announce what a retro is working on, I'm going to be again like kind of like, I bet you're going to be in that loop for another three more years. You might do right.

I'll tell you right now, just break those expectations. I'm just saying. Just don't even have that. Are you saying that I will be mad? Hey, everybody, I came in today honestly hoping that I was going to see a fucking Last Guardian trailer. Yeah, me too. But that got me to sad place.

Sad place. I'm in sad place now. Yeah, but it's okay because when they do show it, the Gretchen will take off his face. It's going to blow your mind. It's just the Joker. It's going to be the Joker. Okay, okay, fuck that. We're done.

We're done. Yeah, yeah. What's coming up on the channel videos? The Joker. Fuck. Yeah, all our videos will rip off on YouTube. Liam, you didn't hear the spoiler that the Arkham Knight is actually Black Mask, who's actually the Joker?

Oh, cool. And then he joins the Avengers. Oh, yeah. I know that's a trend. It's bad. Well, I didn't, but like, boy, that trailer for that game looked like Batman. Fuck. I'm so fucking tired.

It's 2.30. Our reaction videos to the conferences will all be uploaded tomorrow, meaning Wednesday. Yeah, we're going to get them out to you guys. Unless we fuck it up. I mean, you're going to be hearing this first and then the videos are coming soon. Barkley should be ending them this week. And then after that, for Barkley, there'll be another little quick LP about fun parts. It's about this cool guy that we all know and love.

It's about this cool guy that we all know and love. And this cool girl that we all know and love. And this stupid motherfucking bastard that we all hate. I'm not sure if you saw that every part of the descriptions for every part of the playthrough just says, fuck this asshole. This asshole is stupid. I hate this asshole. There'll be a little hint for people that have followed me on social media.

There have been people that have been asking me over and over in various forums like, you keep hating on this character. How can this character possibly be as bad as you say they are? And I just say, enjoy the piece of media in which this character is present. And when you get to it, you will know. You will know. And every day I get messages back saying, I didn't believe you. I didn't think there was a way.

Holy shit, fuck this person. This person is the worst ever. And you will all know soon. Because this is a weird conversation. It's a weird conversation. I took a big shit. So let's stop. So thanks for listening to the talk, everybody.

Yeah, thanks for tuning in. Enjoy Nintendo. Enjoy the Nintendo. Do weird shit. Oh, I already am. Okay, we'll do more. Oh, yeah. I'll get right on that.

Buy me Godzilla stuff. Yeah, do a live episode of creepy anime bullshit. I saw a bunch of Godzilla stuff. And a lot of it's so old that I don't know what's good about it. I'm done with the podcast. Cut this mic. You need to take pictures and send them to me. And I'll tell you what to do.

Okay, I'll take some photos. I'll take some photos. Cut this mic. Alright, love you now. No, don't cut. Don't cut. Got the rounds right here. What's going on?

What's going on? What's going on? Got the rounds right here. Hey, y'all. What? Baby baby. Got the rounds right here. There's a name for it.

Got the races right here. Hey y'all. There's a wake and a breeze. Now face reality. Never be charity. The enemy in your body covers whole society. Damn. My mum is not here.

Gonna fuck you. Oh my. Right here. Shadow 10 o'clock direction. Seize the moment. Destroy the nation. You're on slow motion. Any motivation.

3,000 now and 10 on the right.