Castle Super Beast - SBFC 060: I used the Bidet Button

Episode Date: September 30, 2014

Woolie takes a break in his rampage across Tokyo to chat with the boys on the latest happenings in videogames. The virtues of the squatpot, high-society-buttsquirting, and all American middle-class toilet will be addressed.

Hey, listeners, welcome to the SuperBest Friendcast episode, this is the weird one. This is the weird one, this is the episode of the 60. Again. Again. It's almost old enough to steal. It's not Konichiwa yet, Matt. It's still morning over here. It's still a Maya.

Oh, that's a different thing. Yeah, that's right. What is it? There's three of them, Matt. There's Ohio Gozaimasu. And that's good morning. There's Konichiwa. Yeah.

And then there's Konbanwa, which is later on. It's what? Konbanwa. I heard Benwa. And I was like, what? That's awesome. Which ones? Try your best again.

Ganbate. Ganbate. Yeah. So you know, when it's evening time, you just put people in the Crippler cross face and that's how they know they're going to have a good evening. I had a guy send me a message and it had a picture from his psych textbook talking about steroid rage and it was like one of those infographics about Benwa. Yeah.

Does that need to be in a psych textbook? Yes, it does because it's the perfect example. It's topical. It's got the thing, can steroids make you go into a homicidal rage? I guess so. And it's like, yes, I guess they can. Yeah. It's almost like, if you had to question whether it was truly that insane, it's like, look,

there were Bibles involved, man. I have a fun fact about Benwa and Japan smushed together. Oh, yeah. Impressive. When Benwa was wrestling in Japan, he went under the name of the Wild Pegasus. Actually? Yes. That's awesome.

Get out of here. That's fantastic. That's the best worst name ever. That's like a Yu-Gi-Oh villain. Yeah, I know. Blue Eyes Wild Pegasus. I don't suppose he came out with a Pegasus and money falling and a giant twinder. Oh, it's like Alex Boxing from like the Quarters.

Someone told me that Rainmaker got a new entrance. I'm like, another one? It's like, what could you possibly do to top it? How do you one that up? Yeah. Just have people exploding. Like, yeah. He should, man, if Rainmaker was like Fandango, like he has the best entrances but then refuses

to wrestle. Refuses to wrestle. No, no, you are not worthy. Oh, God. Hey, guys. I'm in Japan. Yeah, so if you haven't been paying attention to the last couple of podcasts, haven't noticed the wooly sounds off and didn't notice all the Japan shit we've been saying, you're in

Japan. Wooly's there. I am in Japan. In specific, right now, I'm in Medaimai, which is near Shibuya, but it's this kind of like quiet neighborhood type thing and when you walk down the street, it looks like Inaba. Of course. I'm in Inaba.

It's pretty fucking dope. Don't get your S-links up, bro. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. If you've been to a Don Quixote yet, that's all I care about about the whole show. I've been to a Don Quixote. Yes. It was the last place we went yesterday.

Yes. Our minds are fucking blown. How about that song? Isn't it just the best? Well, no, because we didn't hear it because we were in the AKB48 themed Don Quixote. Oh, that'll do it. So top to bottom every floor was just plastered with all of them. How many people are there?

Is it 48? At least 48. There's 48, and then they have understudies and backups that they switch in when they get attacked by axe-wielding man-hands. And there's a lot of idol groups that are composed of ex-AKB48 members. Yeah. Because we were going up the escalator and I was like, why is there a class photo on the wall there?

It's like, no, that's not a class photo. That's just the whole band standing together. Yeah. It's a band. Wow. Yeah. Oh my God. Two and a half days, but like, yeah, just what have you done so far?

What have you done? How has it been? Well, it's not even two and a half days. It's one and a half days. It's minus four and a half days for the time being. Because remember, I had to, right before Woolly left, I'm talking to him like, okay, Woolly, for the podcast, don't get tripped up. You're recording the podcast Tuesday morning, not Monday night.

On Monday night, don't freak out because you're not doing the podcast. Yes. Wait. Guess what? Yeah. You were like, oh, I did the exact same thing when I was in Japan. Yeah, man. If the two-night weeks taught you anything, it was like Monday, I think I have a thing

on Monday. Well, no, the trip there is weird because you travel through time forward, but the trip back is going to be so much worse because the travel time is usually like 19, 20 hours, right? It was 13 on the plane. No, but I mean, like from the minute you leave Japan to the minute you come back to Japan too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you're going to leave Japan and show up four hours later, like four hours later. Four hours earlier than you left. It's fucked up, man. It's going to be insane. Why do we got to have them? Well, because it was really confusing back when towns and cities would just set their own watches. All I know is that lousy farmers.

Yeah, it's always lousy farmers. Look at a you, Plague. Look at a you. I'll get into the the just the flight and how that went in a minute, but like first things first, y'all need to know something. What do we need to know, Willie? I use the bidet button. Oh, no.

How's your butt? I used it. I will continue to use the bidet. We're happy about this. It's the best thing ever. Our toilet game is so shit by comparison. We're so behind, aren't we? It's nuts.

We're just all just making butt puns now for fun. Because he's no, but I'll try to continue that. Willie's girlfriend's like, where do you want to go out to dinner? And then Willie's like, well, our toilet recommended a restaurant down the street. Honestly, like, like because I got off at the airport and looked into the bathroom when I saw a squat pot and just nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, back in the fuck out of it. You know what's great? Falling into your own shit.

Right. I'm going to I'm just going to put out an open challenge to any of our animator friends. He's like redo that how to let a little cartoon about the little tiger kid that has to learn how to poop. But get Willie in there somehow, like he's teaching the kid or something like that because that would be hilarious. Man. Oh my God.

So yeah, when we pulled up to the house we're staying at and met the family and stuff, like they have this fucking toilet that it's got all the buttons. It's got the auto warmer when you sit on it. And it has it's unbelievable, and like and it has the whole the top of the toilet is your sick. Isn't that the coolest thing ever? How smart is that? It's genius.

I can't believe how fucking garbage we are about toilet because like when I saw this many years ago, I was like, oh my God, you use the same water. It's amazing. It's so smart. You want to do that. You can just take the top off the tank and show your hands in there. I know, but it's just got a sink. That's all you need.

And then it's just so smart, you know, and you just fucking it's going to fill up the tank anyway. So just use it. And how is this a toilet that you couldn't upper-decker in? I think it's actually decker proof. Yeah. It's easier to upper-decker. It's easier.

Okay. There's an access hole waiting for you. That's true. So Lily does that then the next person that comes to the bathroom and they're like, I understand. Ah, it's so good. Japanese toilet technology steps back 15 years. Yeah.

Yes. So now the next step is like, there's the fucking the day button and then there's the button next to it, which is just a woman's face. And I don't know yet. I don't know yet. That's the thing I always joke about. It's the sound button. That's the sound button that ladies use to master parts.

No, that's what a woman's like, the robot, the toilet becomes sentient and like, thanks you for your poop. Yes. I'll build up the courage to press it. No, but that's the woman embarrassing button. Yeah. Yeah. It makes a sound of birds or whatever.

Press it a lot. Yeah. Um, but yeah. Press it now. Let us hear it. Bring us closer, Lily. No, but the flight down is the roughest fucking thing, honestly. Isn't it?

Isn't it? Yeah. It's way worse than you expect. I can't wait to make that trip in two weeks and enjoy the wonderfulness of a 13-hour plane ride. There's as many sleeping pills as you can. I don't take that shit. Oh, just do it.

I don't either. No, no, dude, if you don't sleep, you're gonna go nuts and you're not, you're not flying down with anyone. So you're gonna have the extra rough, like you don't even get to have a conversation or anything. That's cool. I'll talk to myself. All right.

Well, that's great. I'm sure the people next to me will love that. Yeah. Just talking to me recording something. Yeah. No, I'm doing my job. Like honestly, nine times out of 10, I do not give a fuck, but this is one of those situations where it's like, I understand why a business class exists.

Yeah. This is where it's worth going for it. Oh, so did you get business class to go? I couldn't know in the end. I couldn't. And that's what brought him the sudden realization. If you can't get business class, go for an aisle seat so you can at least put your leg out into the aisle.

One single leg to trip everyone. Well, whatever. No one's walking around the 14-hour flight. Yeah, no, you should actually. No. You should run last. You should. No.

Screw you. 10% of people who get on those flights die in the flight. The podcast two weeks from now is going to be a fucking ordeal. This is going to be cool. So I got kicked off a plane. Yeah, exactly. That's why I had to walk. No, man.

I had to find every possible way I could to kill time and, you know, so like I continued going through Fire Emblem. I thought I had SMT-4 loaded up, but I deleted it to make space back then and I forgot. Oh, no. That would be a perfect game for that length of time. Yeah, I'm going to cue it up on the way back. You continued your memoirs. I continued my Fire Emblem character with the shaved head on the side because it's

the only hairstyle that I found interesting. Yeah. I got to ask for Fire Emblem. What difficulty are you playing that game on? I'm playing it on normal where everyone can die. Normal, casual. No. The other one.

Normal, hardcore. Hardcore or whatever. Classic. Yeah, normal. Normal classic. The one where you lose people? No. No, he loses people, but he's on normal difficulty.

But the difficulty is on normal. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Okay. Yeah, you should play it on hard. Yeah. Should it? Yeah.

Hard and then classic is the Fire Emblem. Yeah, I played that and got like four hours in and was like, this is the most miserable experience I've ever played in a game. On normal? No, on hard. That's average fire. Yeah, because you have to restart every 10 seconds. Yeah, but you get literally like you have as much time as you need to think about your

turn. Right, right. So just be careful. But those difficulty settings are the only reason that Fire Emblem got localized. Like to cater to us. Well, maybe. Not be Pat and Woolly. Not you.

Like I'm over the opinion that a game, that the design is like, yeah, if you fuck up, reset the game. Like I'm. Wow. I don't know if there's some people that would be upset. I don't know if there's some people that would be upset. No, you game over and then you go to a load screen. The same as resetting the game.

Oh, it's not. You know what? Actually, I'm going to double check because you have me questioning because I remember starting the game twice and I think it was because Liam's you told me this already. Yeah, I remember. I'm booting it up right now to double check. Okay, good. Maybe I'm just a baby.

But yeah, when I played it on that difficulty, like I feel like it grew in the game for me. You just have to be slower and think that's all. No, I don't want to. I want to play like a shiny force. Okay. Yeah. No, no, no.

Liam, I'm on. I'm on hard. Okay. Hard casual. So you can let people die and they'll come back. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's probably probably okay.

Either that or a normal expert are probably the best for normal humans. Okay. I'm so bitter about it. It's just hard class. Don't be bitter about what other people play games with. No, I'm not bitter about that. I've been that they changed it, that they made the default like significantly easier. Well, your whole difficulty is still there.

Yeah. And I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's just after so many years of the series to see it stagger like weirdly the most successful part of the ever you act like I'm not aware, but like Liam, Liam, I've, I've only done like one or two missions. I'll restart on hard classic to make you happy.

You can go at it like no too late, too late and then be miserable and then blame him. Yeah. Yeah. It might save fun. Prepare to have a great gaming experience. The sound of Oh God, dude, it's great. Oh God. Yeah.

No. Um, that character creator, you know, not black people friendly. It's fine. Japan. Yeah. Not like what do I expect? I mean, you're in Japan. Do you get it now?

There's no black character creator. I saw, I saw like a total of like, like there's three black women I saw yesterday and two of them were like far in the distance. I couldn't really get like, you know, they really catch up where they far enough in the distance that they could have been people in black fit. Yeah. No, no, no, every corner. No, they're, they're on the same sidewalk side as us.

But it's just, you know, whatever we walk by and I was like, oh, what the hell? And then there was one other girl that we saw walking with a guy and she just had a scowl on her face as like we were going through Akihabara, you know, and like she just like didn't get what was going on and it was hilarious. But no, um, yeah, so that's, that's the first thing off the list. That's the first thing we did. Went down to the electric town. Yeah.

Do you like Love Live? You do now. Oh my God. They fucking shove that shit everywhere. Oh my God. Yeah. Fucking every store. Yeah.

No, that was everywhere. And also you'll be happy to know that everywhere has a fucking Monster Hunter corner. Yeah. I know this. I know. Absolutely overwhelmingly present. Yeah. Do you get a feeling like that?

Because when I start, when I, I had the Western version of this, when I saw like how crazy people were about the game, that made me try it because like, okay, wait, it's the same thing that happened with the Souls series. Like these people are fanatics. Like there's, there has to be something here. Something redeemable. Yeah. And do you get that feeling more since you're over there and you just see it everywhere?

Well, well, well, when I went into the Kotobukiya store and I saw like this shrine corner dedicated to it and had all the like monster little figures and just cards and all these things and I was like, okay, okay. Yeah. No, no, no. There's got to be something going on here. Like there's no way this could be this big without being crazy addicted to it. Oh, you don't have to just realize.

So for that Kotobukiya, by the way, I think that's the only area of the store that does not rotate out. Like every other section of the store rotates out on flavor of the month. The Monster Hunter corner in the back of the escalator stays forever and always shining. Okay. I said they don't change their products ever. The Monster Hunter one doesn't. So we have first it was Atlas games, then it was Souls games.

Now it's Monster Monster. Yeah. Maybe the next on the list. You'll play it. You should listen to me. No, by the time it comes out here, he'll play it. Yeah. The demo will be out.

Yeah. That demo is terrible. Oh my God. Yeah. And I kind of jumped ahead because I was still on the plane there. Plates of Fire Emblem. Cool. Whatever.

That was fine. Finally watched Amazing Spider-Man 2 because they were pushing it at me. There's nothing like this. Oh, on the plane, you mean? On the plane. I watched that on the plane also the last flight we had. I have a question. Matt, you saw that in theaters, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm just going to spoil the end of Amazing Spider-Man 2 right now. Sure. It's been a while. You have a couple minutes. Okay. I'm going to spoil it now.

One space dies, right? Yeah. I remember when you walked out of the theater, Matt, you told me that she softly hits the ground or some shit. I don't remember telling you anything, but continue. How does she die in the theatrical version? Oh. Who was half in the bag?

They talked about how she gently hits the ground. No, that's not true. In a comic, you can do it differently. In a movie, it's like, ooh, we're pushing a rating there or whatever. Yeah. But in the comic, he shoots a web line. She crashes it. She's about to crash into water.

And he grabs her. It just looks like the webbing grabs her, and then you just see one sound effect balloon that's a snack. So how is that in the theatrical version that you saw? In the theatrical version, it's totally that. It's in a different location, but she zips down, it grabs her, and then it breaks her back. Yeah.

And she just hands it down. I always assume it broke her neck. Okay. It's a snack bag. It's a snack bag. Same bone, really. Plus, I'm reading Superior Spider-Man right now, and in it, Dr. Optimus is doing something in Spider-Man's body, and Spider-Man's in his head going, don't fucking throw a web

line at that falling lady. It'll break her fucking neck. Believe me. Okay, then I'm crazy, because I remember somebody telling me that the movie, the theatrical version had, like, toned down the level of violence on that death. No. So when I saw it on the plane, I'm like, wow, they've murdered the shit out of her. It's more or less the same.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that would have been blasphemous if they changed it, to be honest. Like, again, Matt, I agree too. Like, I remember it was her neck that got broken in the comic, and in this case, it's not explicitly bad. It's more like bad. It's just... But it's still...

Like I said, that movie would be, like, bad, unwatchable if she didn't die. Yeah. If she just let it go. Everything's fine. I had a weird reaction where, like, when he's holding her and, like, come on, wake up, like, it felt like the movie was gonna have her wake up. Yeah, it did. It did.

That's a thing. If she had woken up, I would have booed the screen. And that's me saying, I want Emma Stone to die. I might as well say, I want to die. What was done, though, was the fact that everything prior to that moment was, like, her giving a final speech that sounds super final, her saying, this is my decision, this is my choice, and setting everything up shy of walking into the light. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Someone said to me, it's, like, it's a lot like that weird speech Ultimate Warrior gave, like, on Raw, like, the day before he died. Yeah, totally. It's like he knew. He was literally raising her own death flag. Yeah, the graduation speech was the weirdest, but I think the thing that was, like, it was like the saddest to me is just, like, so they have the big storyline about how, oh, I'm

gonna move to London or whatever, right? And then they have Andrew Garfield slash Spider-Man say, I'll move to London with you. A bullet might as well just hit her in the face. Yeah, yeah. The instant he said that. Yeah. It's like Yoko saying, I love you. Yeah, exactly.

But it's like, why, like, now, now she has to die. You're not gonna have Spider-Man move to London. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. No, totally setting it up. Bullshit. Whatever.

Jimmy Fox. It was old shit. That character's terrible. Like, that Electro was bad. Yeah, but that's the best Electro ever. Oh, that. Oh, yeah. At the same time.

It went with the Shocker. It would have been so much cooler. Shut up about the Shocker. Shocker's way cooler. Shocker's great because Shocker doesn't give a fuck. He just wants to rock things. Yeah. Yes, totally.

I agree. I absolutely agree. Like, he's zee tier. That said, if someone will shop a star onto Jamie Foxx's face for the whole movie, I'll re-watch it. Wait, wait, wait. And I cleansed my palette by reading volume one of Promethea. I don't know if you guys have heard of this.

Nope. Okay, Promethea is an Alan Moore comic book from a while ago. It's an Orlock comic. Yeah, well, it's a story about a character named Promethea that's existed throughout comic fiction for the last hundred years, like in real life. And no one really knows why or how she keeps getting used because artists that have no connection to each other keep creating a new character that's this kind of like Wonder Woman type person called Promethea.

And they didn't know about each other. This is real. And so Alan Moore found this super fascinating and decided to write a story about how these are unified and like how it's this ongoing kind of comic theory or some shit. It's basically it's like this character has a backstory where it's like as long as you believe in her, she represents the power of a human being in story form. I love that concept. Yeah, of course.

How many times could it have possibly happened? It happened like five or so times. Whoa, that's a lot. Yeah, there's one going way, way back to like the 1700s that was just like in a play. But then you fast forward and then there's like a little Sunday comic strip where there's this mystical fairy type girl and then another one where she's like a detective. And they're all just these unrelated things, but they just use this character and the people had no idea.

It was nuts. It's really cool. See, Liam, you're not old enough yet, but as you go through life, you notice that the same events just start happening over and over in a cycle. Oh, I'm sure. So if you live long enough, you'll see yourself more. Yeah, like like like a fluffy like leggings. Yeah, that's right.

They died. Did they ever really die? Yeah, I still wear mine. Snap up pants, man. Like disco stew went from being a hilarious sad character on The Simpsons to an actual cool person to a sad hipster. You should buy that. No, but it I read the first volume and like it is one of those things that when I was

with my girlfriend at a comic shop, someone recommended it. She picked it up. All of them went through them said this is really great. Check it out. Went through the first one. This is the best female like comic hero I've ever read about. I got to look that up and it's not just and it's not just the writing because of course Alan Moore is a fucking crazy warlock.

He knows what he's doing, but it's like the paneling, the artwork. Everything is very, very just brilliantly constructed. I can't praise it enough, honestly. Look up Promethea. It's the shit, man. Definitely will do. Yeah, no. And you know, so eventually we landed and did our thing and whatever started pulled out

the camera started filming some bits, of course, you know, I got that I got in a footage already from one day. If you film an hour of footage, you get to write it off as a work vacation on your taxes. Bam. Business trip. And yeah, the first place we went was Akihabara. The fucking train system, dude, like it's so it's confusing as we all know, but it's confusing because it's logical.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Right. I totally get that. It's like it's super necessary and it does an incredibly efficient job at getting everywhere exactly where they want to go. Thus by necessary, it fucking destroys your brain trying to figure out how to use it. Just a quick comment.

The capacity is insane, isn't it? Like was it the first time you walked into a train? Did you notice how much bigger, like in terms of width and length it was, like it's nuts? Exactly. No, the girth is there or the length is there. They're fucking massive. And there's five of them going in the same direction. Exactly.

All in the same hole. Anyway, no. And the trains are awesome, too. But in all seriousness, it's really impressive, isn't it? It is. It really, really is impressive. It gets you exactly where you want to go. No, and I mean, looking at it now that we've gotten used to it, it's like we're going to

be exactly where we want to be like in no time at all for the rest of the trip. Of course, I got to check out the, you know, Super Potato walked in there. So that place is great if only because unlike every other store, they don't give a fuck when you walk in. They don't do the hi welcome greetings, you know, okay, Xama, they don't do any of that shit. They stare at their newspapers like, are you going to, what, what do you want? Do you want to buy something?

No, fuck you. Yeah. You know, because they know that they're the shit. Because they're Super Potato. Yeah, totally. And they have super nice stuff behind glass cases and when you ask how much it is, they go, that's not for sale. What are you fucking like?

Like, no, you can't buy that. Do you think you can afford that? I can't buy this gold-plated virtual boy. You can't. We saw a really nice like Mario like question mark block pocket watch and you open it and it's just this like Mario level kind of graphic with coins and the time and the clock. It's fucking wonderful. I don't even understand what you're saying.

It's like you said it's in a watch, but you didn't subscribe like a diorama like that. And it's a pocket watch and it's fantastic. And it's just like, yeah, hey, how much is it? That's not for, get the fuck out of it, you know. Nice. And yeah, I went over to the main arcades, you know, we went over to Hey, Akihabara, the Taito station, et cetera, got some footage in there of some good stuff, played some games. I've been waiting my entire life to play it.

How is it? Tell me. I mean, I played it, but you barely can even say, oh my God. Did you play part two or part one? I forget. I played the second one. Okay. Now I fucked up the first time because I was so excited and I didn't know what I was

selecting. So I picked training mode. Okay. And I sat there while people around me were basically like, what the fuck are you wasting time? This is the equivalent of like busting in your pants on the way to the bed. Like you were too excited and you fucked up. And so I just sat there shooting, like standing dummies for three, four minutes, wasting everybody's

time. It was awful. This fucking Gaijin ruining our... Say if you have to come back the next day with a disguise, that'll work in Japan. No, it won't. Yeah, no. And then I booted it up and got into the main game and stuff. And yeah, that is the best fucking thing we will never ever touch.

Is it it? We'll never get it. It's just too complex. And like the way the guns snap together with the magnets feels so good. Dude, you're doing the Dante Million Bucks combo and it feels natural. Yeah, yeah. Like at the very least, like, does anyone ever hear of an arcade in North America that like imported it?

No. No, it's too intense. Yeah, I think so. And it would be pointless to import it with anything less than eight of them attached together because you're doing four on four. That's a bit of an investment, a little bit, yeah. But it's awesome, isn't it? And it's insane.

It's the most crowded section of the arcade every time, you know? So that was, you know, I'm going to head back possibly if we can and get some more games in because fuck, that's amazing. I can see why Daigo was all over it. They had motherfucking Buriki won. Now I don't know if you remember, that's the game with Gaitendo. Yeah, yeah. It's an arcade game too.

It's an arcade game and it has Ryo as Mr. Karate as a hidden character. It's got... Ryo is Mr. Karate? Yeah. Yes. Jesus. Because that's who he becomes after Takuma dies in the canon, right? So he's there.

He's got the beard and the black costume. You've got Silver and so on. So is it 2D or is it 3D? It's a 3D fighter and it's fucking great. So you've got two buttons where your stick should go, right? You've got step forward and step back. Oh shit. So it's like a hitbox?

And then your buttons to fight are a stick. What? It was magic. This is nonsense. So it's fucking backwards and you've got to basically hit the stick forward and you do a jab, hit it back and then forward and you do like a big hook. So it's fight night a million years before fight night. Exactly.

That's really cool. Tap down and you go into like a step ducking step crouch and then sweep upwards and you do an uppercut. That's really fun. That's really cool. So you have this whole fucking amazing thing and that's just with like a shoot fighter character. If you pick like a judo character, you tap back and you get into a catch stance.

So the likelihood of this being ported to anything is nil. It's also nil. It's a million years old. It's not lost. It's never going anywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Up to us.

What is it run on? Like who makes it? It's like running on a 3D engine. Oh yeah. We're never going to see this. You know, I don't know if it's even on anything else, but it's this obscure fucking fighter that never went anywhere and it's beautiful. It's so fun.

I can't believe it. It's such a depressing thing. Yeah. Thanks for all the great news. Hey, you guys love things that you can't play or get. I played all of them. Hey, Pat, here's a copy of Dunn New Yack. This is a game.

Eat shit. Liam. Liam, I completely and utterly understand you now. I understand everything about you. Do you understand the panels? What did you play? What did you do? There's a rhythm game called Jubeet.

It's so good. It's the best thing. It is the best rhythm game. It is the best game. It's okay. So you have a grid. 16 squares. Fuck you.

It's a four by four grid. Stop this description now. Each grid, each box in the grid is a screen and a prompt flashes on it to the beat and you tap them to the beat while you're dancing and doing whatever and the music's playing. You plug your headphones in, the whole thing is just surrounding you, there's lumps and lasers. You have VRK machines where you can plug things in because people aren't just jamming gum into the Tekken 5 machine over there.

It's honestly, it's the fastest conversion you'll ever see. We got footage of me playing it for the first time and within 15 seconds I'm fucking in. It's really fun, isn't it? It takes zero time for you to be like, I understand this immediately. It's unbelievably fun. There's no, the level of abstraction is zero. You just press the thing. Yes.

You just hit it with your hand. And then you start seeing the, it's like, imagine like a fist of the North Star beat him up. You know the arcade fight. But it's a rhythm game. The music. But it's a rhythm game. Exactly.

And then they start coming at you and squares of four. The North Star game was still weird. Like we didn't know exactly what constituted hitting a guy or not. Like of course that was a little obtuse. You should try some of the other rhythm games now that you've given them. Oh, I did. I did. Well, I mean, of course I passed by the, you know, Project Eva arcade thing.

And there's this one thing, this one machine, it's a rhythm game that looks like a washing machine. Yeah, with the circle. I used the ring, right? With the circle in the middle. Exactly. And you watch people playing this and it's like, what the fuck are they doing? It's like there's the outside of the circle of the washing machine is all buttons, right?

In like a 360. Right. And then the inside is all touch screen. So it just throws shit at you in combinations where the middle of the screen is doing elite beat agent style shit like O.N. Dan prompts. And then the outside is asking you to hit the buttons as well. And you just combine the two, you know, and at one point you see like a guy like a hundred

hand slapping the screen basically to get the prompts in and then touching the sides and sliding. Like like guitar room man, if you could just, if it was touch based and not using a stick to point, you know, so you reach your. All I see is Liam is just doing constant goat sea motions. I'm trying to demonstrate it. And I'm just keeping my asshole in front of him. I'm not sure if you remember, but I remember talking about this documentary that I see on

Netflix about Japanese arcades and it says there's three things that changed everything that just like created a whole new like everyone got on board everyone. It was a national craze. It was Space Invaders. Yeah. Street Fighter 2. And then DDR. And DDR.

Yeah. And those are the three main things. And because they're different each time, like Street Fighter 2 was like six buttons, controller, complicated motions, then DDR was like fucking move. Like it's like one of those things that changes everything. And like now Japan, they just come out with those every other month. Yeah. Like something that's like super good, but like just doesn't now, now everyone does

them. Like yeah, they're almost less special because now the whole thing with arcade games now, because consoles exist the way they do, is they have to be even like bigger and more bombastic. Yeah. Like you've got the magic guys. You cannot do this at home. You cannot do this at home.

Exactly. You shit like the new afterburner cabinet that just hooks you into a fucking cockpit. And you can't do that at home. Yeah. You need to go for spectacle. Or, or the fucking, uh, the bone eater, uh, silent scope cabinet. I don't know if you guys- Is it out?

Is it playable? And did you play it? I played Boney. Oh, how cool is it? It's the fucking new, it's the new silent scope. Okay. What's it called? Silent scope bone eater.

Shut up. No, it's sick. I swear to God. And the art style is very much- Shut up. I bet you eat a lot of bones in that case. It's a kind of like a hardcore, you know, uh, contra hardcore. Yeah.

It's like, it's got like the art style. It's a hardcore bone eater. And uh, it's like you're the main, you're the main sniper guy. You're like a cool haired, anime kid, you know, and then you've got, you've got like your, uh, your spotter is like this cool girl with like the binoculars and like a little rope she spins on and shit. And like, yeah, you just, you're picking people off. It's a silent scope game, but the, the screen is two screens.

It goes right in front of your dick. So there's, there's, uh, there's a screen that is like, um, the main arcade game that you're, you're looking through when you're shooting shit. But then in front of that is a transparent screen that has projections of like other things like HUD elements, text, your cursor, et cetera on it. And so you get this, this vision of like, um, like a blurry street scene in the distance and like up close, you can kind of see some haze, but when you look through the scope, it all clears up and it's, it's, it's fucking amazing.

Well, it's the natural evolution of silent scope, right? Where you had the scope, but it was actually just a screen in the scope. Yeah, that was great. Like, and it's awesome. And yeah, this is a fancier version of that. I remember when we watched this trailer, I was like, Oh my God, I want to play this game so much. So I'm really glad you got a chance to try it.

No, it honestly was fantastic. And, um, like I just, you can never, even if they poured it, the magic would be lost. Of course. You'll never recapture the magic of bone eater. Yeah. You cannot eat these bones at home. No, sir. Nope.

Has to be in public. Only in public. And right next to it was of course the, um, the enclosed cockpit, uh, Gundam slash jet fighter arcade machine. Yeah. So the screen wraps all the way around you so that like it's, it fills your peripherals and stuff. Uh, so you, Matt, you were talking about that Gundam game before because yeah, you saw the

pods, right? Yeah. Yeah. So played it. Not that great. Oh, wow. As a mech warrior simulator, it just doesn't hold up. It's just boring and it's 400 yen per play, which is pretty fucking expensive.

That's like $4,000. It's literally great if you go in there and the game starts up and you have to be at a table and talk about political shit. Um, I went in and I was really hoping for, you know, like the full fucking engrossed experience and it's really just selling you the Gundam name and sound effects. Right. You know, at the time it was cool because this is quite an old arcade game or at least the original one is, but, but, but fucking like 14 years ago, I was playing at virtual

world. Yeah. You know, and that's the way better. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point though. You know? Um, well, if you want a gun game, you head down in a fucking fighting game floor and

play Gundam versus. Of course. Of course. Yes. Yeah. Gundam versus is there. That was pretty crowded too. And the other game that you play in the pod, the jet fighter one that's like ace combat

type of thing, way better as well. Like that was fantastic. Um, but yeah, I know that was, that was really cool. Um, you know, of course played ultra for a while. Goes all the way to fucking Japan to play ultra. Japanese play. Yes. I needed to know.

I needed to know. So how, how, how black and tarred up are your lungs right now from the fucking smoke? You know what? It wasn't even that bad. Really? It wasn't that bad. Really? That makes me actually super way more excited to go now.

You can smell it a bit, but it's not constant. It's not crazy. Because I remember the, like the photos and video you would see where you couldn't see the end of the line of arcades. It looks like you're in Silent Hill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, fucking test my might as it were, and I did pretty damn good. I was going to say, wouldn't you say that like casual level is about the same as here actually? Uh, casual level is totally about the same as here. Yeah. I'd say that's about right. It's just their casual like base is much larger, right? You know, but yeah.

And yes. There's a lot more people. No, I just thought it's more concentrated. Oh yeah. So yeah, exactly. But you're going to run into experts sooner or later. Yeah. And then you just beat them up because you're big.

Yeah. And then most of my time streaking, like I was pretty satisfied with my results. At the same time, some hardcore looking motherfuckers, businessmen in their like fifties are all around the super turbo cabinet. Yeah. And that's where the fucking action. That's where it's at. That's like the might have been camea.

Yes, dude. Absolutely. You know, those guys like and every arcade is the same thing. That's the one section that's always fucking crowded. Yeah. Ultimax. Ultimax. Yeah.

It's weird. It is weird hearing you get hype about Ultimax because when this comes out, when this podcast goes live, Ultimax is out. I know. I know. I got the one day head start on the cabinet. Yeah. And I'm not going to get it until you guys are ahead of me.

Yeah. And oh man, Ultimax signifies a really weird place for persona. Because I was talking to my girlfriend. She's playing persona for. And I told her, you know, you have until September 30th to beat the game because spoilers are now just open. There's no way to avoid it now. There's no way to avoid it now.

And I mean, you know, I didn't get it to experiment as much as I wanted. So I just, I went and played Shadow Akihiko just to see what was going on there. How, how, how is that? Like, how is the shadow characters? Because I saw the tier list and it's blah, blah, blah, shadow chia, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all shadow characters are dead last. Yeah. I wasn't, I wasn't really maximizing use of the shadow system, but ultimately I don't,

I don't like some of the changes that were happening with him. Like when you do his kill rush into Sonic Fang, if you do the stronger version, it knocks the guy away from you and like not forward, but back behind you. Well, it's weird because like they got the balance changes that I think the regular versions got, but then they have the weird shadow thing on top of it. Yeah. And it turns out that that, those shadow changes just suck all the way across the board, except for chia, who has some gimmick that makes it work.

Right, right. But it's almost made up for by the inclusion of new start and, and when animations Oh, that's, that's the biggest bummer because like Shadow Congee, Shadow Research, like Shadow Matto, they all have like such cool like intros. Fucking Shadow Akihiko dashes up to you and picks your corpse up off the ground. Yamazaki style and just laughs at you while holding his fist out. It's so fucking cool. That's one of those CVS two things where like I hate this character and they're going to

play them. I just want to see this fucking cool intro and pause and quit. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm going to go pick my regular character. Yeah. Yeah. No, but it, but it, you know, it fucking, of course it's gorgeous.

The new backgrounds are gorgeous. Right. Yeah. This select screen is just brilliant. Like it's just, I like, I like the, the color palette change from red and blue ever over like just like the first game was yellow. It was all yellow. It had to be because Persona 4 is yellow.

Yeah. But it's like, at least we have two primary colors to work with this time. Yeah. Yeah. Um, played some eggzart and you know, we all know how that is at this point. Yeah. Did you get your ass kicked by a really good Japanese player as I did? I was alone.

There was no one else playing with you. I was just messing with eggzart. Did I tell you that story about how that was the most robbed hundred yet? Yes. I've ever seen told me. Oh my God. Yeah. And you know what?

They're really smart too. Because like it's funny. You sit down at the cab and then it's straight up. It's a, do you want to play eggzart or do you want to play accent core? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

It's awesome. Select your, your game on the cabinet. And when I picked eggzart, it's straight up went to a windows desktop. And it's, and you saw eggzart booting up and then it came up. Wow. They don't give a shit at all. Well, it seems like it's the location cabinets, location test cabinets that are just still in there.

You know, it's like, this is running on a fucking like PC, man. I wanted to ask, since it's on test location, did you happen to see Tekken 7 anywhere? Oh, no. I did not. Yeah, go play Tekken 7 and report back to us. Yeah. I'll take a look around. I did walk by a Tekken game that I kind of thought was just, I think it was just Tekken

Tag 2, but I didn't really get a close look. Tekken Tag 2 doesn't, does it have a cabinet Tekken Tag 2? If you can run a search, maybe you can see if there's like a listing of which arcades might have it now. I don't know. But it might be like, because I know it said it was starting in October. So, you know, it's, it's not October for like another day. Yeah.

But keep an eye out. I'll be sure to keep an eye out. And I'm so excited to play with girls that has like what, what she's got heels and that's the only thing about her. Yeah, exactly. Oh God. When I saw, when I saw that character, I was just like, my eyes just glazed over like, oh, exactly.

Is this actually a character? Because the last couple of characters, what was her face? Ah, so female. The Arabic guy and the snake girl. The snake girl and this girl, like, she just looks like Chrissy Montero, but less fun. Heck, even, even Vampire Girl from Tekken Revolution was more fun looking. I even remember who that was. Well, she was more fun looking.

It's all been downhill since Draganov. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Yeah. Draganov picked us. I would say the Arabian guy's good though. The one they interviewed is just last.

I don't even know who that is. Yeah, I know, but it's like. He's a new Tekken 7 character. I can't even see Tekken anymore. Sure. The roster's so huge. What a weird thing to complain about. The roster's too big.

Yeah, I know. No, no. They need to kill off half of them and time judge again. Too much of a good thing. Go on. We, we made our way over to the Gundam Cafe, the, the, the one at, not the main one with the giant Gundam at Odaiba, but the one. Why is there no Bazaar Cafe?

I know, I know. You get little, you get little like, uh, like, uh, cheesecakes in the shape of pellets. Here's a, here's a, here's a steak that has a baby's face. Right in it. Baked in there. Eat it. Yeah. You know, it was all right.

They had some decent curry. You know, it was, it was really good. It's all right. Um, but, but, but more importantly, man, that fucking toilet. Thank you. Oh my God. Thank you. Oh my God.

This is just a trip of toilets, isn't it? Dude, I've got footage of this toilet on my computer. Hey. Here's the thing, man. When you go abroad, there are a couple things that for, like, you know, that are different from country to country that you could take a look at, getting a shave in a different country, you know, shitting in a toilet in a different country. Okay.

But this toilet is on a whole other level. Yeah. Right? You need to understand. You need to see how people really live. I will show you the video tomorrow, but Willie can tell you the short right now. Look, you walk into this bathroom and first of all, first of all, the toilet is painted on you.

The toilet is painted like an RX-78 Gundam. It's like it's got the fucking setup, right? You're like, that's cool, right? And then there's a button in front of you when you walk in and it says press starts, you know, and it's the fucking startup button and you go, okay, you press it, lights shut off and then slowly an engine starts up and then the giant window, like the giant mirror in front of you turns out to be a Gundam face and it slowly boots up and you hear the boot process sequence go off.

The eyes start flashing and it's this whole fucking thing and you're like, are you ready to pilot a Gundam? And you're like, no, I just want it to shit. And he's like, well, now you're piloting a Gundam. Wow. It's super cool. This feels like the start of like an anime. Did you send a girl into the girl's bathroom or inspect it yourself to see how disappointing

it is? Well, here's what's up. I remember hearing about that and so I said, go check out the other side and she did and they have the same thing on the girl's side. Okay. Cause when I went, my girlfriend said they had nothing in there. Oh, that sucks. That's good to hear they've caught up.

Let's take a quick word from our sponsors. Guys, I can tell you something. I can tell you something down here in Japan. There's lots of lots of nice sights and scenes and sounds, but there's especially an abundance of trees. There's a lot of trees in Japan. Yes, there are. Absolutely.

A lot of trees. Are they trees? Are they trees that the trees are free? Yeah. Are they pink trees? Are they pretty trees? Not this season. There's Sakura Blossom trees, but like we're going to be getting there towards the end

of this month. It's really just a beautiful, beautiful place. Most importantly, they're safe. Yes. They're safe. They're protected because these are people that love their trees. They do. They do.

Yes. Papers all been eradicated in Japan. You know who doesn't love trees? Who? Authors. It's all land. They hate them. Publishers wrote a book just to kill trees.

Those fucking troglodytes. You showed them. I showed them. Right? That book about how you're just laughing about the trees that will be murdered for the print of this book. Well, first, what I did is I printed out all the books and then littered all the books on the ground to create garbage.

Good. Good. Right? But in Japan, you look around, everyone's on their phones. Why are they on their phones, Willie? Yeah. They're on their phones because they know the deal. The deal is digital.

Digital. And how can you possibly get a digital book? I mean, come on. That sounds like crazy bullshit. She's always ahead. Yeah. They got rocket cars or some shit. Yeah.

Digital books. Audible is the way, my friend. Audible. Audible. Audiblepodcast.com slash Superbest. What? It is your tree murder-free solution to reading books because you don't read them. You hear them.

It says it's Superbest right in the URL. Yeah? Like, how much better can you get than that? None. That's awesome, though. I love literature, so this is a really good combination. I'm looking out my 10th floor window right now, and I see trees in the distance. I think they might live through the next week.

Yeah, maybe if they're lucky, but the encroaching miasma that kills them and makes them into books. You know, the biggest badass samurai's, this is what I'm learning over here. They're telling me that the biggest badass samurai's back in the day would have supported Audible if it was around back then. Is that for real? That's totally for real. That sounds super legit.

Because the samurai would totally agree that over 150,000 titles to choose from is unbelievable. That's too much for a samurai. That's too much. Yeah. Oh wait, is it not enough? Because then they can train and listen to the audiobook at the same time. So they need to get that huck fit in their ears so they can get super buff and learn about shit.

The samurai's look up, and Tom Cruise is talking to them about some bullshit, and they just go back to their phones, and they're just like, wow, whatever. Doing the art of war while actually at war. Right, right, right. Exactly. That's a time saver. And a tree saver. Sasuga Samurai.

Exactly. So guys, if you want to be like big badass samurai's, head on down to audiblepodcast.com slash super best. You try out the trial, you take a look, you see over 150,000 titles once again, and yeah, you will be the hero that the trees deserve. So wait, if I go to audiblepodcast.com slash super best, I just basically become a samurai. You become a samurai. A cardboard tube samurai.

Confirmed. Sugoi. Thanks, Audible. Thanks, Audible. And yeah, no, that was pretty much it, but like today we're going to go out and see the giant actual one, so you know, I'm getting excited for that. You didn't see much Kamen Rider in Akihabara either. It's a kid's showman.

It's a kid's show. Yeah, but he's our hero. Yeah. For babies. Yeah. I saw like one or two figures at the Kotobukiya shop tops. You've got to look around more. Kotobukiya's not where you want to go.

Like you want to go to figure stores. I know that's weird because Kotobukiya's a figure manufacturer, but their store's not the best. It's really not the best. There's a fucking store that was like, it was like Robot House, and I was like, well, I'm going in there. Robot House! Yeah.

How dare you fucking Robot House. And you go inside and I'm like, this is going to be like a Mecha like gallery. Yeah. And it's like, no, this is actual robotics, like people that build little, little mechanical spiders and remote control robots. Yeah. Yeah. It's robot wars.

That's born in Japan. Yeah. You say that until you see the fucking Tetsujin 128 and black ox that are robot and they're controlled and they're RC and there's kids fucking in there like getting their shit. And robot wars are so fucking cool. Metabots. You got to tell me where to go to see this because I want to see robot fights. Yeah.

It's just all in the same electric town block, honestly. Yes. Yeah. No. And I'm like, if I was a kid and I had this type of store around me, I'd be a different person today. Oh, yeah. I'm sure.

Yeah. You'd be way more successful. I want to ask a quick question. I imagine you went to some game stores or electronic stores or whatever and went to game floors or whatever. Yes. Isn't it interesting how here, the new releases, you'll have a wall of empty boxes. But there they'll have TV setups with screens playing the trailers and boxes and big posters

and stickers all around it and they'll have 10 of these around the room for each of the new games instead of just boring little boxes. Yeah. No, they absolutely do. The flash. The panache. Yeah, exactly. It's really weird because one of the major ones was like the first, all you could see

walking in the front was Destiny. Like just plastered fucking everywhere. Yeah, that's weird. Because Sony has published that in Japan. Oh, yeah, okay. Because it's not on Xbox in Japan, so Sony's pushing it because it's an exclusive. Right, okay. It actually sold pretty well in Japan.

Please buy a console, Kims, please, everyone. And then you go down a hallway of Assassin's Creed Unity, you know, like it has this giant ass poster for it and stuff, and then you get to the Japanese stuff. But like, yeah, no, like those could be used particularly. I wouldn't say that's the new one, but some stores, yeah, for sure, they kind of reverse engine you. Ubisoft's like really starting to push there, so. Yeah.

It's cool, though, yeah. Yeah, and I saw some other cool stuff that I'm not going to spoil because, you know. Because it's on video. Exactly. Yeah. There's a floor of just, like the first thing you see is like, it's shiny. It's an aquarium of just metal gears. An aquarium?

Yeah, that's it. Say it again. That's a Kotobukiya, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's an aquarium of metal gears. All of them. You're not saying words that...

Okay, so at the Kotobukiya store, I don't know if they still sell them, but did they have the JoJo boxers that just have JoJo quotes all over them and they're just underwear? I bought all six of them. Okay, good. Good. That's all I needed to make sure of. Look forward to the video when you get back of you modeling all of these. Aren't they awesome?

You say that as if I didn't do that yet. Oh, no. Now, I just want to point out that was a really expensive thing to buy for the all six of them. And it was worth it so fucking worth it. Those weren't cheap at all. They were not cheap. They're the most expensive underwear I own and they're goddamn fabulous.

Isn't that more than your Harlock figure? No. I think it is. I don't know. I don't do the conversion well. No, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. He's like me.

He doesn't do the conversion well. It was me, your boxers. Just one more question and it's not a question. Just I want a word association. Convenience store. 7-Eleven. No, but describe it rather. What the fuck is...

A Combinie is how you survive down here. Fucking amazing. Isn't it? You can get anything. It's literally how you survive. It's like you can't always make it out to a restaurant in time. You can't always make it out to a little ramen shop or whatever. You go to the Combinie and you've got hot meals in the back ready to go.

And the food's good too. And it's great food and you've got... Yeah, I fucking... I bought something that I thought was grape soda and it turned out to be grape beer. Yeah, that's cool. Nice. Did you buy any Anus bars? I didn't buy any Anus bars, but I was looking for a Red Bull.

I was looking for a Red Bull and I couldn't... And I was like, okay, well, what are we going to get? And me and my girlfriend are looking at the different things choices and we got Red Bull, we got Red Bull sugar free, and then we've got Blackout and Blackout God. Is that the sick one with the samurai, with the skull on it? No, no, it's just gold and black and it's called Blackout God. Oh, yeah. That's amazing.

Yeah, that's great. So how's it taste? It's on film. Okay, good, good, good. That's awesome. That's great. Yeah, no. I'm going to hold the rest back.

I'm going to hold the rest back. Yeah, sure, sure. You guys talk about your weeks. What's going on, man? Just really quickly, I guess. I guess the first thing that I did is that I just went my first big pilgrimage to Halloween stores. Yeah.

To A, look for my costume. And B, I might as well say it all, I'm having a gigantic Halloween thing at my place. Yeah. And lots of food. Oh God, I'm going to be so trashed for that. Yeah, but lots of food, costumes. Costumes are not required, but you better wear one. What if I show up in cosplay as a local YouTube celebrity, Pat?

No, you're not going to get Roger Rabbit and you'll look it. You do, but it has to be in a big inflatable costume of yourself. Well, I have this fucking wooly dummy costume over there. You can use that. I'll just use that. So I went to a couple of stores and I figured there was this. Fuck all y'all. Yeah, well yeah.

Hey guys, that guy's working here right now. He's sitting there. Unlike me. Unlike you. It's not like I'm going to sit here and edit a podcast from Japan or anything. Yeah, he's doing the one here too. So you don't know what videos he's working on over there, slouching on my bed. Look at him.

This guy can do five pistol cuffs a day. I think I've talked about in the podcast before, but I'm a real like old school stickler for Halloween. Maybe you have to dress up as a scary thing or a cool thing. You cannot dress up as slutty blank or sexy blank. But I want to dress up as slutty blank. Because that's not fun. And the guy's costumes are also just like, I saw the guy, he's dressed as the big pink.

So he's dressed as a vagina. Yeah, that's dumb. And then the worst costume of all, which is he is dressed as Darth Vader's helmet, but from Star Wars Happy Bird, Angry Birds. Oh, wow. So he's specifically the Angry Birds. The Angry Bird that is Star Wars. And I look at that and I go, we failed as a species.

It is the saddest costume. I'm going to have you judge my last year's costume that you didn't get to see. I got a lab coat and a tie and I went as Krieger from Archer. Because I just look like Krieger. Yeah. Well, you need the crazy eyes. I got that, Willie. You know I got that.

When it's in that package with some smiling or sad dress. No, I went to a medical supply store to get a lab coat. You did the work, right? I went to a medical supply store, but then, oh man, this is the worst. So I don't know how you get a lab coat, right? So I'm like, if I get a lab coat and I have a tie, I'm done for Halloween. I'm good to go. So I'm like, I look up a medical supply store that sells lab coats on the Internet.

And then I find out their address. And then I walk like, it's on the fucking top of the orange. It's so fucking far. 50 miles. It's like code for two. It's like all that fucking way. It's like two hours from where I used to live. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

I go all the way up there and I get to the building like, this looks like a fucking office building. And then I go up into the building up to the eighth floor and I just knock on this non-descript office door. That's a little sweet. And get no answer. And then I realize, wait, this is a company that only exists on the Internet. And I just went to their office. What a bold move. And then I texted someone and was like, you know, you can just buy lab coats from McGill, right?

From the student store. They just sell them for like eight bucks. You know, you can just buy a lab coat. You don't have to have a good reason or anything. You don't even have to be a doctor. Nope. There's a whole episode of Scrubs about that. Oh, that's great.

JD starts wearing a lab coat just because he feels like it. He's not even really at that level yet and everyone starts treating him with more respect. It's hilarious. So what are you going to be, man? I'm going to keep it under wraps because it could be one of two versions of the same thing. But let's just say it's very Lovecraftian. Okay. Anyway.

My personal favorite amongst those packaged things is the sexy baby costume. Sexy baby costume. AKA daddy issues right on the shelf. Daddy issues. Selling for you wholesale. Like, I hate those costumes and I hate how they're everything of a Halloween store now. Don't think. Don't be creative.

Don't make your own shit. Just look them all and pick the one you like. Like, I make my costumes all the time as a kid. I would get all the components in different places and I don't know. I'm just... No, you're right. I'm an old man when it comes to this. I'm like...

And you've got to give out the candy apples. No. Don't accept candy apples, kids. Because they're good to be razor blades. You know, there's like never been a case of any kids ever dying from poison candy on Halloween. Razor blades are a thing, though. No, the only times kids have actually bitten into razor blade apples or poison candy is when their parents did it to them.

Nice. They got their candy home and then the parents poisoned them. Stay classy, parents. Jesus. Yeah, so strangers, fine. Their parents, they're going to kill you. Liam, I don't want to see you in anything but a giant candy corn outfit. Oh, my God.

And they sell that, I'm sure. Because candy corn has nothing to prove. I hate candy corn. Candy corn's a good thing. That upsets a lot of people on one of our social medias. I forget which one, but someone thought there's this big candy corn war. I forget what happened. What the fuck are you talking about?

It wasn't a thing. In one of our social media communities of our fans, candy corn is a touchy subject. It sucks. I'm putting it out there. It sucks. Let's not start candy corn gate. Right, candy corn gate. Since we're talking about Halloween stuff, I have a couple of Halloween-ish, kind of

one-off videos that I'm working on, one more thing to do with movies, and another one that's going to be hopefully a fun animation that I'm working on with some people. I started that this week. You really love Halloween. I love Halloween. That's why I came up when Shitstorm was a thing. I was like, let's do that for Halloween. That's like, okay.

And I'm like, yeah! I'm super happy. I like scary games, and that was back before I knew that I, in fact, hated scary games. That's true. Yeah. Now it's just torture. Yeah. I got Hyrule Warriors.

I played that a bunch, and I really like it, but there's a couple little things, tiny things that just made me go, meh. I'm not a big fan of the music, for one thing. There's some good tracks, but a lot of them are these generic rock remixes. And I don't mind one or two, but there's so many of them. You're right. Some of them are absolutely fantastic, but then maybe 60% of them, I'm just like, eh. I think it was when you start in the Twilight realm, and it's this remix of Kakariko Village

with a bunch of guitars, and I'm like, I get it. It's fast paced to make you go, yeah, not a fight, not a fight, but still, they kind of fall flat. They feel like they're really lately composers. Not all of them are great. That's a rough gig. That's a really rough gig, because those guys, those composers are going right on the heels of Smash Brothers guys doing the exact same thing.

Yeah, that's true. And the Smash Brothers guys can do whatever they want, because fighting game, you can have any fucking background track you want. It doesn't really matter. Warriors, you have to have a very up tempo the whole time. I was telling Liam this, you have a mission where you're on Death Mountain, and you're fighting Gorons, and the Gorons look way, way too cute and happy. And you're killed.

And they make a cute sound when you beat them up. And they make a cute sound like, ooh. And I'm Impa, and I'm doing all this fucking crazy awesome samurai style combos on them. Plus, I had incorrectly switched the BGM to this slow, sad, somber thing, and it made the mission really, really weird. And I actually quit out of the mission just to switch this thing. Who did you unlock so far? I just unlocked Minna.

I didn't get to play her through yet. My only other real beat of the game is I don't like Lana. I don't like her design. Her moveset is cool, because it's all Deku stuff. Her second moveset's a lot better than her first one. Yeah, I was told that. But I just don't like how generic she kind of is. She's the new hero for the game.

She's playing. This is a reason. Sure, okay. Like, just the one mission I was forced to play as her? I'm just like, I'm not really having that much fun playing with her. But I unlocked Minna, so whatever. Minna's fun now. We'll all get to our, I'm serious.

Well, we might as well just do all the hardware warriors now. Okay, sure. Yeah, so I started it up. I actually got it, despite my rampant hate of Musou games. Me as well. And I expected to hate it. I expected it to hate it so much that I played five missions and more or less enjoyed myself. But I had a little, I had a boss kill me too fast when an objective was going off.

And it frustrated me, and I was like, oh, that's it. I hate it. Wow. And Liam was like, no, that's not a good reason to write off the whole game. Like, fuck off, Liam. And then I played five more hours of it today while I was rendering videos. Fuck me. I think I really like it.

Yeah. Okay, thank you. And I think all that mattered is the mission that I stopped on was right after the one I had to play as Lana. And I hated that mission. The mission where you have to play, the Valley of Sears, where you have to play as Lana. That mission sucks. You don't have to play as her. The only mission, the first mission I have to play as her.

Yeah, I recommend it. And I was like, fuck you. I played as her, and I came off of it. And then when I played as... See, the M. Night Shyamalan moment is that, Pat, it turns out you actually love all Musso. Well, so here's the thing. You're the biggest Musso fan. When you finally get to play as Sheik, Sheik is a way more complex character than all the characters you've been playing.

Because you have all the songs. Because you have all the songs that work as a special move, depending on what your last modifier was. And it just clicked. And it's not high art, but it's sure it's really good junk food. Yeah. Do you know what the difference is? When it's a subject material that's in a Musso form, and you're just like, oh yeah. Like Hokudo no Ken.

In Hokudo no Ken, it's not fun to kill things at all. Well, I had something to say about that. Like if Dynasty Warriors is your bland oatmeal, your regular oatmeal, Hokuto and One Piece Warriors and Gundam Warriors are the once removed like cinnamon oatmeal. Yeah. Where it's like, I like it. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And one of the characters is like a three times removed. Yeah. I know Egg Oatmeal. So the thing with High Role, the Dino Egg Oatmeal is terrible. Not only does it give you the fun cast of characters that you like, but it breaks it down in a way that's vastly different. Where like it hands out the characters piecemeal instead of starting with the majority of them. And like it does not recycle levels throughout the main campaign at all. There's a ton of levels.

New move lists for your characters. All the cutscenes, like it's way more interesting than the Gundam or the Hokuto and One Piece Ones on top of the fact that it's Zelda and it has like higher production values. I've gotten hands on time with like one of the old Dynasty Warrior games. Me too. The both Hokuto no Ken's and Gundam Musou. I played the demo. Yeah.

And like the instant I touched the controls on this, it felt better. Like a lot better. Way more polished. Yeah. Well, Shiggy was flipping some tables. That's the difference. But it just like the act of hitting the guy with your sword or harp or whatever just feels way better. Like in Hokuto no Ken, like you hit a guy and then like whatever and then it takes him a couple of seconds to explode later.

Yeah. It's like it's not fun. This actually gives me hope for like the Kamen Rider one. Or Dragon Quest Heroes rather. Well, not Dragon Quest. I don't care about Dragon Quest. Sure. It's very clear to me now.

Like there's never going to be a Kamen Rider one because Bachelorette Wars is by Namco. Whatever. But it's very clear to me now that like your initial investment in whatever subject material they came to it with is by far the most important thing. Probably. So I like Zelda just fine. I don't like it nearly as much as Matt or probably either any of you do, but especially not as Matt. So I'm not getting that much out of it, but I still think the cast is pretty cool except for Agatha. Fuck Agatha.

Yeah, I guess that's a bit of it. I don't like it. The fact that you can use Groose's fucking weapon and not Groose, I fucking hate this game. You know what? Since DLC is coming out every week. Every month. Right. Cheese.

Epona is a DLC. Epona is a weapon! One of Link's weapons. It's a weapon! It's awesome. I've played it a lot. I've played it for like 30 plus hours. And you've played it in co-op and you're like...

I've played most of it in co-op, but it's really good. And a lot of the reviews it's like co-op is way more fun. Co-op's really fun. It's way easier to like... Micromanage. To take over there or go over there. So yeah, that was the weird thing for me is that in the early missions where they don't let you micromanage shit, I found that really boring.

Yeah, definitely. And when I'm having to rush in between forts and keep them all good. That's good fun. That was interesting to me. And so I thought it was really weird when Matt, you were talking about Death Mountain, where that's the first mission you have to micromanage. That's awesome, isn't it? And that's the mission where the game clicked with me.

Well, when I say I've played it, I think I fucked something up at the start. Like the map confused me. And that made the wrestle level almost uncompletable. And then I just restarted it and didn't get any problems. Yeah, I'm doing this in like the most obsessive way possible. Where like, it's like, go fight the boss. Like no, I'm going to take over every single base. Yes, yeah, yeah.

And no one, there are going to be no enemies spawning in when I fight that boss. Of course. And then you invariably beat the boss and like five of them flip. And I'm like, God damn, I'm glad I got all of them because if the wrong five flipped, then like it did be a fucking mess. No, definitely. See, what's weird though is that when I look at the formula of that, like capturing the base and flipping it on the map and stuff,

like the first thing it reminds me of is overture, guilty gear to overture. Yeah. And that was a piece of shit. So like, how is this an actual fun version of that? It's just really fun. It's just polished. It's just a good hack and slash. Yeah, it's a bit, it's a brawler.

That's all it is. It's a brawler. It's a brawler with like a map focus. Cool. It's just fun. I unlocked like all the characters except for Zant and Agatha. Zant looks so cool. Agatha and Jerihan were the last ones you unlock and they're in adventure mode.

Yeah. But I'm like, I'm like waist deep in adventure mode and that mode is fucking awesome. Like, I love adventure mode. The adventure mode is like more random and like gives you different things, like depending on where you are. And you get extra stuff in there, right? Dude, please talk to me about Ganon, please. I tried to get this off of Jesse Cox last week.

Can you say anything? Cause I guess he didn't have him yet. But what's the deal? So minor, minor spoilers for this game. The fourth chapter of the game is where Ganon comes back and you play as Ganon. He is the character no longer. Like Link is not pushed in your face anymore. It's play as Ganon, right?

And it's already off to a good start. It's like, let's fucking take over. And he's awesome. He's so fun. He's so overpowered. It makes you not want to fight him. Fucking lube. Yeah.

He's fucking lube. He is incredibly strong. Some of his attacks, some of his regular attacks that don't use meter or anything have the camera lock to an external position because they're so big and vast. He's incredibly good. Now I know most of his movements are based on like the actual boss fights, but does he have anything Smash Brothers like? Anything Smash Brothers like?

He's got a thing where he punches a projectile and it explodes in front of him a bit like a warlock punch, but not like super close or anything. Alright. It's not necessary, but just curious. This Ganondorf has his own feel and he feels nice. He does stuff that the other Ganondorfs don't as well, so he's very cool. I gotta say, like after like pretty much finishing it, I'm actually like almost a bit bummed that it isn't canon because it could be.

The only thing that fucks up the canon is that all the characters come in from different universe. No, whatever they forgot. But that's bullshit. They forgot. But that's bullshit. The magic of the Triforce made this look good. I know, but that's bullshit.

Yeah, I know it's bullshit. But you want to make it fan canon? Just do that. It's not a hard canon. I don't want to force it. You have to remember that it's not different universes even. It's different points in time. Well, no.

So here's where that breaks, Woolly, because this is the moment. There are two things in this game that really like from a game, like they suck me out like, oh, I'm playing a fucking video game. Sure. Kind of thing. The first is that when you go to the stage select when the timeline splits or whatever, like the level is called Twilight Princess. The level is called Skyward Sword.

The level is called Ocarina of Time. It's the titles of the fucking games. Like there's no way of getting away from that. And the second one, which is really funny, but it's so fucking weird. And it's because they don't want to have Zelda characters talk with voice acting. That's how it's supposed to wait. But they have this weird half in between where the characters have to speak lots. So they have lots and lots of dialogue, but they can't say words,

but they need some kind of noise on the screen. So you have these scenarios in which Lana is telling you like, like, oh, we got to go to the portal and get it. And you have like fucking a minute of, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like for minutes of all the characters doing it to each other. It's so weird. I wouldn't say minutes. It's minutes, dude.

Minutes over time, but not at the same time. And at the same time. No, I don't think so. It's fucking weird. I've played the game a lot, I don't think so. Tell me that's not weird. I don't think it's that bad, man. It's not that bad, but it's still a little awkward.

But it's what I want. When I want to hear Link talk, I want to hear the accent. Link never even talks. It's always proxy. Link gets a very ironically named proxy. I don't think it's irony when it's completely intentional. I know. So she's the one that talks for Link,

because Link can't be just like giving them all this fucking dialogue with links and anything. There's a narrator who like explains what the party does, like between missions and stuff. I don't like that voice actor in the latest. She is some Japanese woman trying to speak English. You can catch some bits where you're like, yeah, she's not English, but anyway. Okay, I'll come on. It's a little flat.

And Lana, I'm a bit weirded out and a bit, like, disappointed in a weird way, because she straight up just says Japanese words. Yeah. Like, not even like... Well, she's the one they can do the most with, because she's the least canon character ever. I know, but I don't like that, because it's a bit too far from Zelda. Well, deal with it.

No, I know, and I like the game. That's what you get with your crossover. I don't... No, I don't... Dude, whatever. I feel like good guys, I'm gonna keep playing. I just wish it could have been better. See, you know what I want?

This might be a weird in-between. I want everyone to be fully acted, except for Link. Except for Link. Who just says, Like, the fairy is fully voice-acted, but Link never talks, and it's kind of like, what the fuck?

What is wrong with Link? Why doesn't he ever talk? Yeah. Doesn't need to. Just really quickly, because we got off track, but I also bought Killer Inksing with the retail box of it. I saw that, yeah. And gave away that TJ Combo,

because I love the box so much. It's like, good cover. It didn't have a little TJ Combo panel on it. Yeah, I wish. For whatever. When we're all back here in Montreal, we all need to go, I told you. I went to a restaurant.

Yes. Maybe, Willie, you might have gone to it before. It's on Bishop and St. Catharines, and it's a Brazilian meat place. Milsa. I forget the name, because it was my fiance that said, like, oh, let's go here.

And they just cut meat in front of you? Yeah. They give you two cards. The panel, yes. It's a red and green sign. You put red saying, no fuck off. And then green saying, pile it on. You fuckers.

I'm good with this system. It is the best thing I've eaten in the last while. Yeah, man. Milsa is an institution. You just get rice and salad, and just pile that on your thing, and then you just go more meat. And they give you a gigantic sabre,

and just start, and it's the most, it was like turkey wrapped in bacon. And they said, okay, do you want any more? And they go, no. And they go, we have filet mignon. And they go, fucking just. I dimly remember that night, and all I'm getting is visions of like,

just a guy with a big shish kebab, cutting the meat into the plate, and then a lady in like a carnival, dancing things, spinning around the table. Yeah, pretty much. And I'm just holding up the green paddle, like bring it more. And then I ate this filet mignon,

and I dropped my utensils. Like I clattered, and I went, oh fuck me. And then we were just silent the entire meal. Like we don't even have anything to say. It was a little bit expensive, but like it's all you can eat. I'm looking forward to going. And the last thing is that like,

I went to a party of a friend of a friend. It was a curry cook-off. You should have told you. But it was like, who makes the best curry? And there was a lot of drinking. I got pretty drunk. I went back home with two other friends, and everyone were there.

And everyone's like, oh, you have a snake. I'm like, yeah, it's tied him to feed him. And I give him the first. God damn it. I give Jack the first mouse. He eats it. And I have to feed him two in a sitting now. And I give him the second one.

And I drop the mouse. And I go, oh, I dropped it. I put my arm in. And the first time ever, he bites me. Yeah. And this is all on me. Because I never would have done that. Fuck you, alcohol.

I never would have done that if I didn't think about that. So he bit me, but it really wasn't that bad. Like you can't even see it. I just have like a couple of dots around me. Yeah, Matt, for the viewer's sake, Matt has no right hand now. Had to be cut off due to the poison. Due to the poison of this constrictor snake

that has no poison sac. But it was kind of like, I was drunk enough that I was like, oh, get off. You cat. And he kind of let me go. And I was just like, the next day I woke up, I'm like, I had a really weird dream that my fucking snake bit me. And she goes, she goes, he fucking did.

I'm like, yeah. See, this is why I find it weird to have animals that will just attack you if they're outside of their cage or enclosed in their comfort. Yeah. And now your relationship is going to be weird, Matt. Now you and Jack can't look at each other in the eye anymore. No, I'm going to go, oh, now he knows how I taste,

and he wants the rest. No, you got to bite him now. No, I don't think so. Yeah, chew on him. Just nibble on him. Like I said, it was completely my fault, so bad on me. But yeah, that was my week. What about you, Liam?

What's up with you, man? What else did I do? What did you play? What did you do? I'm not going to comment on my week, but it was really only the weekend. God, what else did I play? I played our Counter-Heart 3 Love Max that came out, and what do you want me to say?

It's a perfectly good update to a perfectly good game. There you go. So you're embarrassed to be seen playing? It's really good, but not much to say on that specific fighting game. I played Frozen Synapse Prime, which is like a super good edition. And you were talking about this last week. It's just the new Frozen Synapse. Oh, OK.

If you like Frozen Synapse, like if you like strategy games, but not like RPG tactics. Here's a better version of Frozen Synapse. Exactly. Here's a better version of Frozen Synapse. Enjoy it. If it had the fucking, I forget what it's called, the red patch or whatever, that the PC version has, it would be fucking amazing.

But unfortunately, it doesn't have that. And then like the game that I'm really enjoying is fucking Shadow of Mordor, which I got my hands on, and it's really good. Yeah, so we also got to play. We all sat down and looked at that a little bit. About, I don't know, two hours of that? Two hours of that, together. OK, is the combat Assassin's Creed levels OK?

No. OK, the combat. So I found it really weird that all the reviews about this game are comparing it to Assassin's Creed. Yeah. Because that's crazy. They should be comparing it to fucking Batman. Yeah.

Because the controls are identical. Are identical. Every button does the same thing. Very similar. R, like right trigger, is sneak. Y is counter. B is a stun move. A is to jump over the guy to stun him.

Like it's Batman. The combat. And here's how much of Batman it is. When you hit 8x on your combo multiplier, you hit Y and B, and you do a kill. But later on, you can also hit square and X to do the range thing to stun the guy. It's just this clearly at some point was a Batman in someone's eye before it became Lord of the Rings.

That being said, it's really good. I like it. I didn't like Arkham City's combat as much. This feels more like Arkham Asylum. And I think I like that better. It's a big improvement. The combat feels really just naturally good. The first thing that happens when you're on the field is that we see a cave troll

and Pat's like, yeah, let's fight the cave troll. The cave troll hits Pat. It basically turned into Dark Souls. I instantly died. So five seconds. So the thing that I found out is that it plays like Batman, but it's not for babies like Batman is. It's fucking hard.

It's only for like six hours. And there's been instances where I've died multiple times. You die over and over and the game is built around like, because in most game overs. They get promotions when they're doing it. Yeah. Because most game overs in games, it's like, let's rewind to. I think we said it during the video, but your deaths are can and death.

Yeah. That's what I was getting. Your death isn't a fail state. Yeah. Most deaths in a game are fail state. And you just, hey, let's rewind a bit and hit the retry button. Give it another go, Pat. But in this, it's like, no, your character died.

The guy killed you because he killed you. He's now tougher and has like, he usually gets promoted. Yeah. That Nemesis system is nuts. It's really, really crazy. Like you've had more time on with it, but like the thing that I noticed, like there was that one point where we advanced time and like 18 different side promotions.

Oh, and then just fine. And the ranks just swelled and reclined. And that fucking cook. That fucking cook. That was good. No, that system looks so cool when I see it in action, man. One of the coolest things with it is like, if you ever get into combat by mistake, and then one of them comes along and you don't know he's a boss guy,

and you go to hit him and he just fucking clashes with you, and then you're just talking to him. And it's awesome. And it's just really well presented. And it doesn't bog it down really, even though it sounds like it would. And suddenly there's a boss who was there the whole time, but you didn't know it. And sometimes there are like, uh-oh.

I'm trying to get away from this boss and ran into a different boss. Yeah, there's multiple in this same area. Is the game leading you down corridors or is it? Hell no. It is the most open world ass open world game I have ever seen. Wow. So remember all the recent Assassin's Creed games, everyone's like, when can I get to play?

When do I get my hood? Right? From you do one, you do the tutorial, and the tutorial's really short. And then the first in-game mission is after it dumps you into the open world. Yeah. Okay. It's very fast.

And we were talking when we were playing it together. It's almost too fast, but no, I like this. It's good. It just throws you in. Just throw you in. Just do it. I think after we finish the video, I said, I hope this is a big successful monolith.

I hope so too. They're a good developer that since they've been under Warner Brothers' banner, haven't been able to make a whole lot of memorable things. Yeah. I was going to say this is the first, I know ironically this is a game that is also on last gen, but this is the first next gen game. Oh, so I found out.

Wow. I saw some statements by the developers as to what's different in the last gen version. That's being made by a different developer and coming out a month later. They're like, okay, so the movement and the combat and all that's going to stay, but we've had to pretty much rip out the whole Nemesis system. Oh. Because old gen just can't handle all the background calculations. Oh my God.

So having all the guys doing stuff on that. So I hear that and I'm like, oh God, why get the fucking current gen version? Don't get the old one. Yeah. Fuck. Wow. And that really sucks because like one of the things I really liked that happened to me

while I was playing it was like, I was just walking along and there was this guy who I hadn't encountered yet and he has a fear of corridors. Yeah. And I see this guy fighting corridors and he's getting destroyed by them. And I scan him. You can do it, man.

And I scan him and it's him and he's scared of them. And I'm like, oh, and I'm like, I don't want to interact with this. I'm going to watch what happens. And the corridors just kill him. They just kill him. And I get the little zoom in. He has died. And I'm like, I didn't do anything.

They didn't just kill him. And as Liam is the one to say, the corridors got a promotion. And the corridors got a promotion now. But it's really fun. It's really good. And it's like all the people. Did you encounter, did you encounter the problem that we were talking about where it's like, you took my eye out.

No. That's battling. That's why I'm going to fight you for taking my eye. Actually, no. What happened was is like, while that seems goofy in like, in theory, in practice, it actually worked out really well. There was a character that I killed in that video multiple times. And he kept coming back and be like, haha, I'm still alive.

You thought I was dead fucker. You thought I was dead fucker, but I'm back and I'm going to get revenge for you jacking up my face. Yeah. And the reason his face was jacked up because I used some sort of sword through his face. And like, it was kind of goofy in the moment of like, oh, this motherfucker just keeps coming back. But when I walked away from the game, I was like, I hate the cook.

I hate this. It actually works. It makes you like, think about, it makes them into de facto characters. And when he shows up, he's like, haha, I'm still like, oh, you fucked up my face. I'm going to fuck up more than your face, motherfucker. No. There was a guy who killed me twice and I went out to kill him with his weaknesses. And I was like, yeah, I got him.

And he was gone forever. And I was like, yeah. Did you mind dominate anybody? Not yet. That's apparently the pretty late game. Yeah, I was looking. It's in the third tier of upgrade things. Yeah.

The way I saw the devs talking about it in preview videos is the way they designed the games. There's a first half and the second half and they designed the second half of the game like it was a sequel to the first half. Okay. So I want to talk about that for a sec. Some six hours in, which the game marks at about 28%, at the bottom of the map, there's a little thing and it's like a little gates, right?

The gates of Mordor. And it's like, oh, you have to get further in the story to use these. And there's fucking second map down there. Yeah, I know. I can't wait. I think very literally like the second part of the game is where they unlock like all the domination stuff. Yeah.

And I can't wait because I'm having so much fun. And then like, you know, all the big AAA releases for next gen like Watch Dogs and Destiny or the two I played, I didn't really get to play Titanfall. I had, there's big problems with those. There's huge problems with those. Yes. With this one. They did not come out.

They came out and like the feeling that I got from those games was just like, ugh. Yeah. It's pretty good, I guess. I got that sentiment from people who played Titanfall to a degree, but I don't want to mark that. No, no. I think Titanfall did the best. I think Titanfall did the best.

No, no. Titanfall definitely, yeah. It did do the best of them. It's just too small. Yeah. That's all. You know. This game, like I know I'm only six hours, 30-ish percent, but it feels really good.

And I really like it. I only played it for two hours and I'm really excited for the PC version. It's one of those things that even though it takes a lot of stuff from other games, it clearly also feels and does the thing better. It's a game that just, it's unashamed. We took this from Batman. We took this from Assassin's Creed. We took this from Red Dead.

Look at these climbing animations, the rigs straight off of Assassin's Creed. But it doesn't feel like a rip-off. It feels like an homage. And that's kind of a weird thing to say and it's very granular, but I hope people get what I mean. Well, some of the little things, like just the way that your character does his fast traveling, which is the running with the boost button, like that's really fun. And that's a mechanic that I haven't seen anywhere else.

I've been saying in our video of it that the way the sort of like watchtowers are revealed to you, which is basically your eagle vision sinking in Assassin's Creed is way cooler than the old vision. Way better, way better. Yeah, absolutely. There's this little thing. And when you jump off to do a leap of faith, it's like, fuck you. I don't need to land on anything.

I'll land on my feet. And there's fucking Sarah Brimbo or whatever. He is your fucking stand in so many senses. I'm so weirded out by- There's JoJo moves in the game. I'm really weirded out by the way the story handles that guy. Because every single trailer for that game, past a certain date, has said that character's name, explained exactly who that character is and what that means for the story.

And it's kind of like, hey, Lord of the Rings nerds, check this out. But when you start the game, it's like this huge mystery as to who that character is. It is. Yeah. Anyway. It's so weird. But like, if you stun the guy- Get hyped to fight Sauron.

Definitely. If you stun the guys and then use your sword, like every other hit will be Sarah Brimbo with his spirit sword. As a stand. Like, in between your hits. So Nero. Yeah, like Nero. And if there's two guys coming at you at the same time, you press Triangle to parry both

of them, one after the other, you'll parry the first and then Sarah Brimbo will see about of you and parry the second. It's a nukesite watch. It is so cool. It's so cool. Oh, that's fucking sick. I'm really enjoying this game. It's good.

I'm so glad. This is something I said in the video, but I kind of want to go into it a little more in depth. And it was a weird thing that I found about the way the game looks. So it plays just like Batman. Yeah, definitely. But I'm weirded out at how much more I enjoy that combat over either Batman or Assassin's Creed purely because there is blood.

Thank you. And murder. Because he fucking kills orcs. Murder. Yes. The takedown move where, you know, Batman would break a guy's ankle. Punch a guy in the face. This guy, you're cutting his head off or shoving the sword through his chest.

Like, it just feels better. And the animations for, because usually stabbing a guy with a sword is the lamest of all the animations. Here, they usually add a bit where he gets it halfway through, but then has to force it the rest of the way through. Stabbing a guy is hard. He stabs the guy, but then falls down on the floor. Yeah, and it actually adds a lot to just have your character fucking horribly murder

people. And like, Ezio and all the Assassin's Creed guys, like by the time you go to Assassin's Creed 4, it's like, it almost looks like stage fighting. Yeah. Like that little innocent stab to the chest. Because it's so bloodless. And over here, you're looking at the slow rotating head in midair. In my playtime, that's how I figured out if a guy is actually dead, or if he's going

to come back, and it's if you decapitate him or not. Yeah. Usually that's the one you know. But some of the executions, like at the right angle. I'm going to get you for cutting my head off. Exactly. The time you cut my head off was really annoying. Your overalls saw that.

Well, sometimes if you do an execution at the right angle and the lighting is going, which is something they really love to show off because it looks great. Oh, yeah. It's one of those games where every time the mission ends, it's pointing you at the sun. Yeah. So the sun's coming over like a mountain or some shit. Like when everything comes together in this game, it feels so good.

Yeah. And even when things don't come together, it still feels really good. You know what? I bet that game's story is terrible. I bet that game's story is super weird. Maybe. And simerillian-y. But it doesn't matter because they focused on the open world part of running around and

doing shit. The gameplay and everything. Yeah. It's almost as if everything else is so good and well-rounded. This story has to be crap by the end. Yeah, it's gotta be. It's gotta be. It's about Gala Bremboar.

You know him, the simerillian guy. From the book no one can read because they fall asleep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what you're saying is this game is now third or fourth on the list of load of rings games. It's probably first.

It's probably first. It depends how much you like those. I know. I know. I know. I know. Name me one other game that's anything at all. The PS2 game.

I like the two towers was actually really good. Okay, well fuck all of your opinions. Shut up. It's clearly the best. Yeah, okay. No, third age is fun and I know no one's played this, but I played the Hobbit game. Oh shut up. Oh shut up.

With the old design. With the old design. I like that game. Get out of here. Get out of here. You don't like it. You're a liar. Shut up.

I don't believe you. Damn true. The Hobbit. Fuck off. So we're all done with our weeks. I didn't talk about mine at all. Those two games are all you did. No, I have lots more.

So I wanted to talk about some things that I actually did during my week. Please, please, please. I sent out that people might have a preview of this depending if you follow my Twitter. The other day I basically posted like, installing a CPU heatsink is for crazy people. Let a professional do it. Right. So I installed an aftermarket CPU heatsink onto my PC. How hard was it?

You know, it's the only part of the process. In which you have to spread paste onto a component. Yes. And it can shoot out the sides and goo on your motherboard and stuff like that. Don't fuck up. Yeah, don't fuck up, right? Yeah. So I didn't fuck up, but the whole time I was doing it, I was convinced I was fucking up

because the heatsink's so large, I can't even see the CPU anymore. Right. And during that process, like the fucking brackets didn't fit quite right on the motherboard, which ended in a sequence in which I'm just screaming into a PC going, why don't you work? Yeah, dude. Just work. People were telling, were saying that you need to hand back your master race card if you've

never actually built one of your CPU. Well, I did, I did that fucking shit. And that took like three hours and like a bucket of sweat. That's, oh. What'd you do with the bucket of sweat? Drank it. Use it for cooling. And then my favorite part, so I'm all jittery and freaked out because I think I've like destroyed

my CPU. Like I've installed it, what I now know to be correctly, but at the time I'm confident that I destroyed my CPU. So then I turn my PC on and it doesn't even get to post. It doesn't even fucking boot. I'm like, oh great. Amazing. I have the guys come over to record tomorrow.

I just melted my fucking PC. Turns out, if you don't push the RAM all the way back in, that shit don't work. Okay. If you don't plug something in, it's not gonna work. Dude, dude, dude, it clicks. There's a snap. It clicks, motherfucker. It clicked.

Okay. The fuck are you doing over there? I'm bumbling my way through PC building. Jesus. So I got that all working and then I decided to go to a friend's place to help him with some PC stuff because his drivers weren't so great. He has Windows 8. Okay, that's a problem.

So part, yeah. So do you know that Windows 8 is terrible? Well, I knew I hated it, but I didn't know quite as much until this moment. Oh no, not until you see the metro system with your own two eyes. No, that's not it. So I'm like, okay, it's gonna be quick. We just want to clean out your old drivers and install new ones. Just work around this.

So what's the first thing you do when you want to do that? You want to boot into safe mode. Liam, how do you boot into Windows 8 safe mode? I don't know, Patrick. I don't know either because it's not F8 when the fucking computer starts up anymore. To get into safe mode, you have to actually go through a control panel and go to the reboot and safe mode option, which I couldn't fucking find. Great.

What the fuck? Why would you take that? How am I supposed to get into safe mode when I can't get to Windows? That's why you need safe mode. What's next? Getting rid of the start button? Oh god. Oh no.

To be blunt, I think the fact that Microsoft employees don't use it at work is telling them that. That is the most tablet shit ever because you don't want people going into safe mode on their tablets, but you need from boot to be able to get into fucking safe mode. And I look it up, it's like, well, if your boot fails twice in a row, then it automatically goes into safe mode. That is not a fucking acceptable option. God damn it.

Microsoft has been repeating the new Coke philosophy of marketing for the last 20 years now. You can see that Windows 9 is going to be free from Windows 8 users. It is a straight up apology OS. There you go. It is an apology. It's the new Coke. They keep switching it back.

They keep fucking sucking and switching it back because they know. So in addition to that, I finally got the video card that I was talking about last week. It's the N70. N70? No, it's the 970. That thing kicks ass. Holy shit. I cannot recommend it enough.

It is a fantastic card, and if you record things, Shadow Play is amazing. And I also got hands-on on that Dark Souls 2 DLC. I was playing it when Liam came over. Is this the last one? It's the last one. Oh, is it? Okay. I lost track.

It's better than the second one. Oh, thank God. It's the third one. Yeah, it's better than the second one. They tried something new again for the way the layout is. It's the kind of thing where the area is completely frozen over, and then you unfreeze the area, and then you go back to areas that were too frozen to continue,

or to chests that were frozen over. It has the most overt, ridiculous Dark Souls 1 reference of anything in the entire game. It's too far. It's way further than the one in the game. It's way too far. It's way too far. Further than the other one? You fight a boss from Dark Souls 1.

Like, you go to the same place, and you more or less fight. That said, you'll think it's really cool because you haven't seen it, but it's way too much. It couldn't hang on its own morals. Well, just wait until you get to the end of the DLC, and it's like, okay, now insert your Dark Souls 1 disc. And I think I found out what happens when you beat all the DLC. I saw people talking about it.

Kind of really cool from a gameplay perspective. Really shitty from a long-term viability of the game perspective. Because it's the kind of thing where once you beat all three DLCs, there's an item that you're never going to want to take off. And everyone's going to look the same. Oh, it's not a ring. It's like it's going to be a piece of equipment. So probably the coolest worst part is that there's a boss in that DLC

that you can fight in the first room. It's the very first room in the DLC, and it's completely impossible to beat. It's totally impossible. And you see people see the blood and just people have been hitting their head against this for days. And it's like, no, go through the rest of the fucking area. Get the ability to beat it. And then the final boss is like, it's the fucking worst.

It's a boss that throws like tons of additional enemies at you during the fight. That sounds fun. And it's the fucking worst. Didn't we say when someone asked us what are the best bosses, and we said, you know what the worst type of boss is? The ones that add additional enemies. And so the entire boss fight is you go around the area turning off the enemy generators

so that you can fight the boss on that one. And it sucks. And the second DLC had something like that too. And it sucks. That sucks. That said, the environment is sick. Why won't they learn? Why won't they learn?

What happened? Oh, the environment's fucking awesome. The environment's sick. And I think Pat and I both agree that it has probably the best shortcut creation. Oh, yeah. That's the coolest shortcut. It has such a cool shortcut. It's awesome.

But yeah. Okay. Also, I should mention, I played a bunch of scary games. Oh boy, did we. Including one. In your own time. That you, yeah, I know. For your own play.

That you guys should look forward to. Including one that caused Liam to dash my mouse against the floor and destroy it. They once... I had the... Are you fucking serious? The first time I ever let this motherfucker play a game on my PC, he goes, well, and throws my mouse off the pad and it smashes the laser out. I think that will agree that I did not throw it.

Oh my God. But he... What a perfect sequence of events. Also, in your defense, when the scary thing happened in the game, I also got really scared because I was such a jump-scarer. And we all went, whoa! You see, the basic deal is that there are two ways to handle shock and fear, right? Some people freeze.

Walk solid. I do that. I turn into a statue. And then you die. Liam's body spasms. And it's not that I spasm, it's that I get away. Yeah. Well, your body spasms or got away my mouse into the dirt and destroyed it.

Well, maybe your mouse shouldn't be on a stool. How the fuck else is my mouse going to do that? No, but yeah, I slammed his mouse against the floor and broke it. It was great. Please tell me this was captured in some way. Oh, you'll see. Not only was it captured in parts of the video that you would think it's not supposed to be able to capture, we're captured because ShadowPlay is a fucking amazing PC recording software.

Oh, man, it records everything. It records everything. I want to get on the plane back over there right now and see the footage. I don't know. Just sign in to the fucking YouTube account and watch it. We'll do. That's pretty, did I do anything else with my week? Christ, I don't know.

Well, I mean, if you did, then that's cool. But if not, then we should get into some news and wrap it up because we're almost done here, man. We're out. We're getting there. All right. Tell me what happened this week. You whipped open your Mainichi Shinbun and what did you see? My Mainichi Shinbun.

My Mainichi Shinbun was telling me, actually, no, thanks to Matt this week for getting the docket together. We got some stuff going on. Apparently, Destiny, people are finding some shit. Yeah. Or finding nothing. Yes. They're finding shit and they're also finding huge blackness of nothing. Yeah.

And wondering if there used to be shit here. So first of all, like, straight up, like DLCs on the disc. I can see the stains. In part. In part. But the more important thing is that we get to know what the DLC will include. Yeah. And it's really disappointing.

It's really disappointing. Assuming those are correct, yeah. It's like, what, five to ten missions each? A couple naps. And like two strikes or whatever. Two strikes and a rate. For like 20 bucks. I mean, the one thing that's not included in that rumor is all the gear and stuff.

Yeah. It's not what I would say is $30. It doesn't seem like a fucking good value. I mean, again, that said, if you're really into Destiny and you like the MMO structure of it, you'll get a lot out of it. I guess. But for anyone who's expecting more of a traditional thing from Destiny where it's like, oh yeah, you get a cool story to play through. And if stories will be, you're not getting a DLC story. No, you're getting the same kind of bad missions that are in the base game.

Yeah, exactly. See, I was expecting at the very least for them to address that thing where in the beginning, you know how the dude's like, I could tell you of the stories. How about you fucking tell me? Yeah, and I was like, okay, but you're gonna sell it to me later. And it's like, no, not even. No. Not even that. Ugh.

And are we gonna talk about that Reddit post alleging that the story just got cut out? That's what the main story is about. Yeah. Allegedly, but probably true. The sound, it rings true. Someone wrote up this great little thing on Reddit about it. It's just a breakdown of where this guy thinks the story broke down over time, including people leaving Bungie, hireings at Bungie. There's a lot of evidence from earlier trailers of the game.

It's like, remember this trailer? Remember how nothing of that happens in the game at all? Remember how this trailer came from the game? And all this weird inconsistency started when the lead writer left. Like, not a writer. The lead writer. And if I'm not mistaken, it was a Bungie OG. Really?

And supposedly... Of like marathon days? I don't know. At least Taylor. Supposedly, that's why almost the entire game's new plot is written in the goddamn cards you can only read on the website. That's the worst. That's the actual worst. Which of course, they hired people to write after he left.

Yeah. That's perhaps meaning that that was a quick fix. Yeah. The game feels like a quick fix. A lot of it does. Honestly, the core doesn't. The feeling that you get after seeing the thing that's like, no, go to the website to learn more. Fuck you.

I've never felt so fine before to do so bad. Like, if I hadn't already had the app installed on my phone from the pre-release beta thing, I would have been like, fuck you. Like, how is there not a terminal... How is it that you don't press start and go to Codex and just read that? Not enough time. Right. Meanwhile, exactly. Like, Mass Effect has this giant library.

Dragon Age is the same thing. Dude, they better fuck you. The entire fucking metal bowl and Metal Gear Solid. Imagine you start a Bloodborne or Dark Souls 3 and it's like, if you want to learn more about this item. Oh my god. That's the actual worst because of, like, that game's storytelling is in the item descriptions. So if they put that somewhere else, I'd just throw that game out the window. Fuck that.

That's the worst. I love how that's the worst you can do is throw the game out the window. Which would be an entire console because he only buys digital games. Yeah, that's true. It's true. It's true. Well, I have a favor to ask. For any of the stories on the docket, make sure to just read the bolded titles.

Because some of them, I think, will get a Chuckler too. All right. Well, we started off with Destiny's story completely stripped away. Yeah. That's about right. And then we briefly touched on it, but we can get into a bit more. Middle Earth, Shadow of Mortar DLC announced. Fight as Kellogg's Boobery wielding the One Ring and have an epic fight with Sauron.

That's his name. Matt sent us this link on Facebook and I said it there. It's like, there needs to be a stronger word for what this is. Yeah. Because this isn't just not canon. This is, like, anti-canon. Yeah. History.

Really. Like, this is the level of, like, what if George Washington went crazy? No, you know what this is? This is the Assassin's Creed. No, you know what this is? This is The Winner's Right to History books. The Winner's Right to History books. This is Jesus coming to America and hanging out with John Smith.

So I saw this this morning. I went, fuck that. And then I played the game for six hours. And then you're like, wait, that'd be awesome. That might be really fun. Like, before, like a full 24 hours or more before this story hit about how you can play as Kellogg's Boo-Berry and then you fight Sauron, like, hand to hand. We said in the video when we were playing Shadow of Mortar, just the regular version,

I've been like, oh, imagine if you had to fight Sauron hand to hand. Would that be cool? Yeah. And then they're like, yeah. And now it's like, yeah, that would be cool. It appears that that's the case. They have the license and they're like, yeah, we know it's going to piss some birds off, but wouldn't it be super sick?

Because the best part of the entire trilogy is watching human Sauron sweeping the shit out of everybody. I know. I love how everyone goes the motion. It's not he was hitting people. He was sweeping the people. Sweeping the band of Masai. Yeah.

And then Namco was like, that's awesome and put it in Soul Calibur. Like, everyone knows how awesome that is. It's fucking awesome. No, that would be good. Soul Calibur, you put like some of the cooler Lord of the Rings characters in there. No, but like, go back and watch the intro for Soul Calibur 3 and Nightmare does exactly that. Yeah, you're right.

We've got the soul of Psygnosis still burns, wipe out spiritual successor announced has identity crisis. I think this is the weirdest thing because I was so confused and I saw this. I saw the trailer for this and I was like, what's the name of it, by the way? The name of the game is a few. What was it? It's just why it's confusing. It's formula fusion.

But in the trailer, it's called slam jet racing. What? So the deal is when they made the trailer and rendered it out, it's called slam jet racing. But after that, they're like, no, that's stupid. So on the YouTube trailer at any time you look for it, it's called formula fusion. How do you not fix that? How do you not just... That's what it's called now is formula fusion.

It's called formula fusion. How do you not just redo it? I don't know, but it doesn't really matter because it's like whatever. Is it not? Wipe out spiritual successor. Is the game just wipe out? Well, it's got lots of weapons now. Okay.

Well, wipe out has weapons. Not all of them. Yeah, really good. Missiles, dude. Missiles. I thought that when I saw it, there was like skill trees of weapons. Okay, that's new. In the trailers.

Well, when I say is this just wipe out, that's not a negative by the way. No, no, no. I want you to say yes. No, it's quote unquote, not wipe out. The driver and jet designs look really cool. Driver design, really? Yeah. Because you see the driver's heads popping out and they have these really cool futuristic

helmets. They look like soldiers on this. Cool. Interesting. Okay. But the thing about it is that I watched the trailer. I guess no one really saw the trailer. I know.

I didn't see it. The only thing is that even though it looks good, it actually looks very slow. That's odd. That's like bad work. That's not what I want to hear. It doesn't look bad, but when the guy kicks into super speed and then in super speed, they have all these effects, but it still moves at the same speed. It's like a turtle with speed lines.

It's like a turtle with speed lines. I don't know if it's just because it's earlier or whatever. I don't know, man. Wipe out would always, like wipe out would be like between burnout and F-Zero in terms of speed. Well, you got to play wipe out on the high difficulties. If you're not playing it on like Venom and stuff, then you're not getting the... I'm just picturing like a wipe out game, but you're moving really slow and then you

hit a boost and you're not actually going faster, but there's a speed line. The world goes faster. I think it's announced that it's coming out to the PSRPC and Xbox One for sure. That makes sense. Xbox owners will finally get to play a wipe out game. And not those fucking water shit. I don't know. Water stupid sports games.

Hydro Thunder. No, shut up. Hydro Thunder rules. Yeah, that's why I'm confused. No. When you put in wipe out into Google, it's not wipe out the future. You have a TV show based on... Which has more games than wipe out.

You're totally right. You're totally right. It's not a fun time. I don't like it. She's Louise. Fuck that shit, man. Pat, when are we going to do the Persona Stars spoiler cast? Persona Stars?

The Russian reality TV show. Oh, get out of my face. Get out of my face with that, Willie. I'm not watching Russian TV. You are. You are now. Oh, I kind of want to now. You watched Tattoo back in the day.

I did. No. Multiple times on... Only on North American TV. We've got this game that looks like Cranky Construct made it. Viking Squad. Oh, yeah. This game looks all right.

Yeah. The art style reminds me so much of Cranky style. I don't know, but it looks really cool. It also reminds me of the Vikings. Just beating shit up. Not the same art direction, but the way the characters move, like the way their animation is, reminds me a lot of Valiant Hearts as well. A little bit.

The characters heft as they walk. They have this weight to them that Valiant Hearts is. It's not the same art style. Yeah. The only thing I'm not really a fan of is I don't like the lane system at all in beat-em-ups. I think it's detrimental. Stiffed your fucking lane. I don't like lane systems at all.

No, you have to stick in your lane. I'm really looking forward to it because there aren't enough beat-em-ups. I get what you're saying, but I don't mind someone trying to do a lane system and maybe making it work. No, I'm going to play it and I'm really interested to get hands on with it, but just in my experience, it's hard to make the lane system work well. The reasoning for the game's developers is we wanted to cut down on confusion and trying to sync up. When you have four people on screen, our sprites are so big, it's kind of a mess. Yeah, I kind of get that. Liam, when you're holding your hat out for the fucking handouts that are beat-em-ups, don't turn away the stinky dollar bill.

I'm not going to, and it's a very nice looking dollar bill, thank you, so I am going to play it. I played a final exam that came out last year. Anyone else touch that game? I watched you play it. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. That is a good beat-em-up as well. It's a 3D beat-em-up that I think all of us were in the room, but no one was paying attention to me. And he was playing the game, and like, it's alright. They made obscure the aftermath and stuff.

Oh, shut up. That's awesome. Awesome. I think. That's really good, actually. So I'm totally down for this, even though I wish it was an answer. We're not talking about Mutation Nation, and I have no idea why. Dude, we have to talk about Mutation Nation when the video starts.

Alright, alright. Former Last Guardian developers reveal New Game Vein will probably be released before the last Guardian ever works. Of course it will probably. How many people are on this team? Like five? Yeah, and it looks artistic and beautiful. Yeah. But it's unclear. Like, I didn't even know if there was a video about this.

Let's put some perspective. Like, Flower and Journey both came out in the Last Guardian's development cycle. Yeah, to be frank, those are much smaller games. Yeah, Journey's journey is really good. Well, what I mean is that like... Yeah, it fulfilled that niche for me. Now this game, at least an observation, reminds me more of Rain. I knew you were going to say Rain.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And that's not a good thing. I don't know. Because Rain was not that good. No! It's a real shame because Rain looks like it should be great. It looks like it should be great.

Rain reminds me of exactly like, I know we're bouncing the game to game, but Lost in Shadow. Oh, God, yeah. That Wii game where you control your own shadow and platform the shadow. When I first saw Rain, I was like, oh, it reminds me a lot of that. I wonder if it's seen by the same developers. But yeah, like, I can just imagine a bunch of dudes on the team just getting up one day, going, fuck this bullshit. They leave, storm out, make a game, finish it, and then rejoin the Last Guardian team by lunch.

We need to keep the lights on in our houses somehow. Well, I mean, I'm sure it's nowhere near that vicious, but yeah. It's what they're doing, you know. Yeah. It looks pretty neat, though. I'm a bit bummed that it's only confirmed for PC release, but whatever. Oh, really? Yeah.

I'm sure that won't last long. Yeah, maybe. Everyone, please lift your hands up and give Sweary your energy. He needs it. I'm trying. Is it because nobody's buying D4? He's never seen Twin Peaks, guys. I bought D4.

If you have an internet browser, you can buy D4 too. Can you? Yeah, on the Xbox Web Store. I did. Yeah, I could buy it on my account. It doesn't matter that I don't have an Xbox. I can play each one. I bought Crimson Dragon at launch, too.

It's true. Yeah. That game did not deserve it. Yeah, but Futatsuki did. I love him. Whoa. Cool. That's a slippery slope.

Now he's getting new Phantom Dust. Yeah. Yeah, you did that, Liam. I did that. Yeah. But yeah, if you have a browser, you can totally do it. And hey, is that a good game even? Because I bought it, and I don't know.

Okay, I'm going to venture into some controversial statement. But even if a certain character wasn't in Walking Dead Season 2, even if that character is not in it, I would still say that Walking Dead Season 2 is one of the more disappointing things I've played. People are really mad at me. People are really mad at both of us. We'll see you up in the middle. That's just how I am.

That I was really disappointed with it because we know that it was not made by the same people that wrote and directed most of the game. I think the biggest problem in that in Season 2 was that it was so much easier to see through the illusion of choice. It's like, was there a choice to save this person? This person is dying in the next 10 minutes. Or they're never going to have another don't line of dialogue. I'm going to come back to you guys because I played through Episode 3 before I left.

And then I'm going to do 4 and 5 so we can have the big talk on it because I can already see some opinions that I have. I'm in some really nice hate mail. I don't know if I want to do it. We should do it. I'm going to play it when it comes out October 21st. God damn it. Okay.

Liam, I'll wait for you. He's not going to be back until that. It'll be November by the time this happens. We're going to have a good long time to finish it. It plays differently, obviously, but it's just so much more fun. It's zany. It's zany, but at the same time, it's not deadly premonition as much as me and Pat Lovett or whatever.

That was zany to a fault almost. But this is just zany, but it just felt like it was a whole cohesive world. Does he reign it in just a little? He reigns it in just a little, especially with your main characters. Everyone else is kind of zany. Playing that, I'm really sad. It's a double edged story because me and I think Pat as well, love stealth releases sometime.

What the fuck is this? That game we never heard about, it's out now. It's out now? That happened with Vanishing of Ethan Carter. Apparently that game got announced two years ago. Yeah. I just bought that on good old games. But D4 comes out and it's got really great critical reception.

Except for Destructoid's perfect 10 out of 10 for deadly premonition, it got pretty harshly reviewed. And deservedly so. And deservedly so. As you mentioned, Destructoid, that just reminded me randomly, someone linked me back to the Destructoid article on the 3-some thing from back in the day. Written by none other than Jim Sterling. So we have an in now.

Motherfucker. We have an in. And I think Jim Sterling reviewed D4 on Escapist and gave it something like 4 out of 5 or whatever. But it really sucks because the stealth release is fun. It's like, oh my god, it's out right now. But at the same time, it's like Paul Marketing just didn't do anything. It's kind of marketing suicide most of the time.

Most of the time. Well, that's when we become Matt and Pat Marketing. Like this game's cool. Look at it. You know what? Or this game's really bad. Don't look at it. I was saying that maybe we can't do it right now, but maybe when Pat goes back in Japan,

even though only the first 3, the prologue and the first episodes of that, we should just do that just to let you guys see. Take a look at it. Because it's one of those games where you can also miss a lot of stuff and not complete some things. But I think we should do that just because now I feel so bad. Less than maybe 10,000 people bought it because the leaderboards only show less than 10,000 people.

I saw that one. That's where he went and he was like, he went on Twitter and just went like, wow. That's like one sixth of how good Bayonetta is. And even worse than like, I don't know, Bionic Commando or something else, Dark Floyd. It's like one of those disaster things. To be fair, this probably has a smaller budget than any of them. Oh, yeah. I still can't help but respect that type of insane marketing where you're just like,

it's out now. That's it. Done. Go. I love that. But it's totally suicidal. I think the general thought was that Daily Premonition was just like, it was what? Ignition?

That fucking shame? Yeah, you know, no. But it should have been. Benhausen. Benhausen. Benhausen. Developed that game. Developed Daily Premonition?

Access games. Access games. Yeah. They just put it out and gave it what? I think it was a $29.99. Yeah. It was sold like 100,000 copies in like a couple of months. All by this weird shit?

Yeah. It was a bit like, when it's all, it was exclusive to the 360. So I get why they're like, maybe that audience will buy that. But it's a downloadable game that's hidden in the dashboard and just. Lighting's not going to strike twice. Because any Joe Schmoak can just walk into the retail store and just be like. Especially not weird gimmick lighting. Weird.

I was going to say then again, like Microsoft funded this one. Yeah. No, totally. I mean, is the difference. Yeah. Like in the, I looked at the credits on the main menu and it's like got Microsoft producers. It's Microsoft first party, eh? When's it coming to PC?

Never. Never. Great. Not anymore. Maybe they should. Dude, there's Kinect playing that thing. Yeah. There's a Kinect for PC?

There is. Yeah. Totally. Like I want to play the game with Kinect because on the controller, I'm like, oh, this, this is one of those. Also, it was originally with the PC, you don't need a Kinect because a mouse can do most of that shit anyway. You can't tell that you're not paying attention.

Yeah. You can't tell that you're sitting down or not. It can't give you a technical foul for swearing in an NBA game. Oh, that's the best. That's really the best. I love that. Anyway, so that was bittersweet news because I'm like, hey, oh, that's not good. But hey, that forces us to do a video.

Yeah. Yeah. Speaking real quick of D4. You're not selling amazing. I'm really like unhappy with Bayo's like launch sales in Japan. Exclusive on Wii U. Well, I was going to say motherfuckers should go. And it's on a console.

I am on a mission. I am on a fucking mission over here. I am hunting for any piece of goddamn Bayonetta marketing that I can find. I swear to God. You missed the week. You heard it here for, if I can't find one, I'm cutting my head off with a chainsaw. Dude, Bayo 2 was last week. This week is Danganronpa.

Hey, man. Like, I don't know if you know. Do you not remember how 101 sold 8,000 copies in the first week? Yeah. Well, I was going to say, Bayonetta has, in its first meek quote unquote, was only one day. Yeah. You know, it was only one day away from the date.

It's like, how well do you expect this to fucking sell on the Wii U? I know, but it's just disheartening. Like, compare the install base to how many actually sold, I bet it would look like other Platinum games on the 360 and BS3. But the fucking, the 360 at the time Bayo came out had less of an install base than the Wii U and sold more. There's no way that's accurate. It is accurate.

It's accurate. The 360 didn't have the current Wii U's install base in 2009, and it sold 60K in its first week. I don't believe that. Well, it's... There's no way. In... No, in Japan.

I'm only talking Japan. Okay. In Japan. We are talking... I'm talking worldwide sales. Well, why would we when Bayo's only out in Japan? In Japan in place. Yeah.

Okay, then yes. Now this makes sense. Plus, in Japan, like, all consoles are bad. Like, Bayo came out on somebody's weird phone. It's like all consoles are bad, but I feel like it'll just turn around when the games are there. Oh, you guys. Tell me Dragon Quest.

I don't know. Tell me Dragon Quest is gonna sell bad. There's no... There's no handheld consoles anywhere, man. Cell phones. It's all motherfucking phones. It's depressing, isn't it? Yeah, it's all phones.

I have not seen one. You haven't seen any 3DS reviews. Not only... Look, not only have I not seen any, I've been street passing nothing. Wow, that's depressing. That's damning. I've been fucking street passing zilch. And there's a lot of soul 3DS reviews.

So maybe my dream of no more handhelds anymore. Why would you dream of that? Because I want those games to hit consoles. But they're not going to. They can be on both. They're gonna be on phones now. No! This is way worse.

It's true. Sakaguchi's new game, Terra Battle. No! Might hit others. Wully, I need you to walk down the street. And just start smashing people's phones out of their hands. And smashing them on the ground. Just throw it on the ground because I'm an adult.

Just throw it on the ground. No, throw it on the ground because you're a child. And you need your video games. You can get a Wonder Swan for 700 yen in Japan. So go pick up 20 of them. And just swap them out in people's hands. There's a lot of good games on that machine. Gun pay.

Yeah, fucking gun pay is amazing. So, from bitter sweet news into sweet sweet news. Yes, please. The Assassin's Creed movie has been delayed indefinitely. Woo! Surprising! See, that's one for the good guy. That's weird because I feel like Assassin's Creed's a fucking slam dunk.

Well, in this case, the good guy's mean nothing. Considering how well the last moviesoft game to movie Prince of Persia did, it's actually not that surprising. I actually am a bit surprised because ever since that thing, they started the whole UB Pictures thing where they were going to branch out. And UBsoft, usually they're successful with their branch outs as far as execution goes and they get it done. It's just like, do it? So I'm kind of surprised that they already made an Assassin's Creed movie. And it's called The Patriot with Mel Gibson.

Well, depending on actual Assassin's Creed movie. If you're saying Assassin's Creed 3, sure. That's one of those weird properties because of the way it works. You can literally do whatever you want with it. Just give the guy a hood at some point and have him stab a guy with a hidden blade. Money's done. And you're done. Money's done. People know who JFK is.

Yeah, I think it's still when the movie industry could not finance Halo. Well, the reason that would get held up is that Bungie actually had a Halo Bible. And they were like, you can't change any of this shit. And every studio they went to was like, you want us to adapt this movie. And then you have a list of rules about what we're not allowed to adapt. Get the fuck out of my office. And then you see like, all you need is kill, change to Edge of Tomorrow. And their fucking suits become these open exoskeletons so you can see their faces.

To show off the faces. And you're like, yeah, that's Hollywood for them. Yeah, that's Hollywood. Jesus, yeah, Halo got that treatment. Well, Halo's a fucking movie. The Halo movie is about a guy whose face you never see in a big green robot suit. He's basically hollow. That shit was doomed from before conception.

And I bet Bungie's Bible said it has to be this shade of green, obviously. I think occasionally if you give it to the right people and the right studio, like V for Vendetta, you never see V's face. It really depends, but like for Halo and Microsoft and Bungie, they were just like, no, you need to bring this to the biggest and get the biggest budget. Because we, like at the time, Halo 2 or Halo 3, whenever this was... That was the time. That was the time where Halo could not have been any bigger.

And now it's kind of like, you know, not as big, maybe. Well, I think what you're trying to say is the stars would have to align. Not everyone has the balls to be Judge Dredd. Yeah. Only they could get the man that made District 9 to have directed it. Oh, wait, they did. It still felt great. It still felt great.

Yeah. It could have had to be from Redback, but... That made... When I saw District 9 and then I heard, oh, this is the guy that wanted to do the Halo movie, I actually got excited for the Halo movie. Absolutely. Because District 9... I could see it.

And he did another movie before that, like a little short film called Something Over Johannesburg. And it was very similar as well. Like, it would have been awesome. Yeah. Elysium is also really like Halo-ish. And Mass Effect. It feels like it splits the difference between the two. If only Elysium was like really good.

Yeah. Instead of like... I watched it and I was like, uh, uh, really, like really half in the bag kind of thing. Yeah. Half in the bag. You know what was really good though? What was that? The latest episode of Sword Art.

Yes, Sword Art. They actually fought... We don't listen... We don't even have time for this. They actually fought the bad guy in this one. And it was cool. I don't... No, no, we're not doing it.

Hey, did you know you're in Japan right now? They say no to Sword Art. Did you know Sword Art is the emperor of Japan? It's true. I was doing a sweeping shot of like Akihabara where they had all the ads up. I saw a Sword Art ad and I dodged it with the camera. Aw, come on. I moved around that shit.

I know you're gonna watch it eventually. You should just look up. Hey, did you just hit it over with? Um, uh, we've got, more importantly, Guardians of the Galaxy is Marvel's third highest grossing film of all time. Right behind Howard the Duck and Daredevil. Bam. I forgot something that I wanted to say. I'll just say it quick.

I started watching Monster. Yeah, Monster. Yes. Yo, that shit's dark. I... How far are you? I'm four episodes in. Okay.

Oh my God, it's so good. I've never watched a show that just slammed me with like, hey, you know what's awesome? Nihilism. Yeah. You know what? You know what doesn't matter? Everything. Also, doesn't it feel like not anime?

No, it feels like a Hitchcock movie that they, like, rotoscoped. They jiggered it into an anime. Like, it doesn't need to be anime. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, no. It could have been live action and it's just, it's so fucking tight. I want, like, I feel really happy that it's the kind of thing where in the second episode I'm like, that's what's gonna happen.

It's that guy, right? And then it happened, but it was not meant to be revealed. So I wasn't in a place where, oh, I'm guessing the plot of this mystery. It's like, no, there's no mystery here. It's just dead. It's just, oh, oh shit. Why are you looking at me like you're smart? Oh God.

Yeah, I know, totally. And then you just go deeper and deeper. Oh yeah, I'm very looking forward to getting more into that. But yeah, it's... Go get out your old psych papers, man. I would call that show gray. Like, the palette's gray, the tone is gray, the feeling I have after watching it. I would describe it as gray.

You hear that fucking song that plays over the credits, man? Yeah. It's like the lyrics of that song are just the most depressing fucking ever. It's great. Yeah. No, that's what... It's interesting, you said that because I forgot something too. I forgot to talk about Velocity 2X.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you bring it with you? Yeah, I played it on the plane. It's fucking great. It's so good. It's really cool. Do you see what I meant when I said like, although it is a shmup puzzle 2D platformer, it's not a send up to anything. It is its own thing.

No, it's different. It's very different. Even though I don't like the game much, that's worthy of praise. Yeah. I am disappointed in one element though. I guess that's because I was expecting more. I didn't realize that it was so loose in terms of narrative and progression. You know how Bangaiyo starts where it's like you boot it up and pick a stage?

Enjoy. Yeah. This is exactly that where it's like it's not like you're going through a story really. You're just going from one stage to another and then it drops a little. So you just swarming is the weakest part by far. You just want the thinnest veneer of story. Just one coat of glaze to distract you. I just need to see a little bit of shine.

Yeah. But beyond that, man, it's really fun. It's really fun, yeah. But I guess we got time to bring up the fact that Pillsbury has published the recipe for a pepperoni pizza cake and destroys the world. What? Yeah. Yeah.

So Pillsbury releases on their website. Here's how you make a pepperoni pizza cake. And it's basically those pillberry pizza like dough. God damn it. And you have a long vertical pot and you just fill it up with making pizza each. Put it in the oven, you take it out and it's just a gigantic slab of dough. This is disgusting. Hey Matt, you're having a Halloween party later this month?

You know what? I am. Sounds like a bit of a horror story. As somebody who hates pepperoni. Dude, it could be you with anything. Yeah, no. But as somebody who hates pepperoni, this sounds like one of the grossest things I've ever heard. I think it sounds like a video.

I would love to try it. I'll eat it for a video. I'll eat anything for a video. I'm not too fond of pepperoni either, but I need to know. You gotta do it for the story, man. We could put pineapple and chicken. It's fine. No.

Throw anchovies on that shit. Fuck you. Poison it. No. But I saw this on Neogaph and then every reply was just fuck. It's the reaction to when foods like the Double Down come out. It's like this shouldn't exist. Well, the Double Down is a special case.

I just think this is like you could have just taken like 10 pizzas and stacked them. Yeah, you could have. I'm good. But this isn't the comfort of your home. This is special. They would publish a recipe for it. I think on the website it says, it's true. We did it.

It's like for some reason it makes me think of that old, do you know that like Marvel Cookbook for kids? No. Yeah, I remember that. So one of the pages is like Spider-Man web pancakes and so the recipe instructions are one, make pancakes, two, drizzle chocolate syrup on like a web. That's how you make the Spider-Man pancakes. One, make pancakes.

What's the word for when society reaches a peak where they no longer have to worry about their base needs so you just get bored and you philosophize and then do nothing? I forgot the word. I also forgot complacency. But that's what the fuck this is. These pulberry fucking cakes are totally the epitome of that. Post scarcity economy. It's a post scarcity economy.

It's when basic needs are trivial to me and everyone can eat them. So, well, it's like Star Trek. What are we going to do with Star Trek? What are you actually going to do with your time when money doesn't exist and when food is given to you? Yeah. We're going to make fucking cake pizza. You're going to go explore space for fun.

That's what you're going to fucking do. And you're going to make horrible cake. I want to go to 10 Ford Lounge and say, just give me the fucking pizza cake you 26th century bitch. And Data's like, fine, sir. You don't talk to Gynan like that. She's got magic powers. I like the episodes when Data's working on the 10 Ford Lounge.

Oh, that's really weird. There's several episodes when he's doing that. Yeah, and he gives Scotty the green stuff. Yeah, that's true. And Matt, lastly, why are we hating on Nicalis this week? Yeah. What's up? Oh, like I saw that as soon as you partner up with Nicalis, your game is delayed for

reasons and no one knows why. So 90s arcade racer just announced that like, yeah, we're delaying. We're supposed to be mid 2014 and they partnered up with Nicalis for reasons I don't know because the Kickstarter was successfully funded. But they partnered up with them and then everyone like that I saw on the I saw on NeoGav and saw another site that's just like, yeah, if you partner up with Nicalis, guess what? Your game is going to be delayed for a year and you're going to have tons of bugs.

It's a shame because like they just did a thousand and one spikes and that was such a clean turnaround. And I was like, do they have their head on straight again? And it's a bummer. It's kind of weird reasoning too. They're just like all the contents complete in the game. Okay. So why is it being delayed?

We have one compliance employee who has to do eight games. It's something that he can't just do one project at a time. He has to switch every four hours. But it's like the game is content complete. And like, if you love, hey, do you love Daytona? Yeah. The concept of Daytona. Yeah.

So this is just Daytona, right? It's like, how hard is it to make it Daytona? Apparently very hard. I don't understand. Well, yeah, I think how many people took to make Daytona? Anyway, they're trying to, they're trying to grab the license to rolling start and they can't. Yeah.

I'm personally bummed because this is like the only Kickstarter I think I've put some money into where it's like it's kind of calling off the rails a little bit. I've had it happen. Thanks to Callis. Well, I don't know if it's entirely their fault. Yeah, but fuck them anyway. And meanwhile, the first video game to be funded on Kickstarter is almost complete. Wait, what?

What? Wait, what? Exactly. So I can't believe this story. This makes no fucking sense. I guess I missed it. Matt, what the fuck? Okay.

It was in 2009 when the first video game that was funded on Kickstarter. Oh, wow. Okay. And it's called High Strangeness. And it's described as a 12-bit action-adventure game revolving around crystal skulls, shadow people, flashlight-wielding teenagers, string theory multiverses, and talking cats. Okay. It's totally random.

Its goal was an astonishing $1,500, and it's going to come out later this year, finally. All right. Congrats. On the PC, Mac, and Wii U, which didn't exist. And the game started with those fucking announced. Well, congrats to them, I guess. I guess. That's pretty neat to be the first guys, because if you would have cocked it up, then you'd

look like idiot. No, you'd be forgotten. You'd be forgotten. It's a shame it happened. Good job. You're the first people to actually release a game on through Kickstarter. That's a different method of the game. Man, I just, what the fuck, man?

What were you doing in 2009? That's one of those nebulous years where I'm like, what happened? 2009? That was five years ago. Like, I didn't remember a single game that came out in 2009. I was in university. I was in university getting drunk playing Street Fighter. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. It was 2009. I think I was in college. Yeah. No, here's how you do it. Street Fighter 4 came out in 2009. Go. Wait, what?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you do it. O'Niters. That's what people are called O'Niters. What did you do? Around the time you played Street Fighter 4. I was in high school.

I was in like, Sect 5. Liam never stopped doing that. Never stopped doing these comparisons. Yeah. For the longest time, I always used movies as a base. 1997, Anaconda. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, like 2001, Spider-Man. Yeah. 2002, Spider-Man 1. That's right. Yeah, so. All right. We've got some quick letters, guys. Let's get through them.

Let's read them. Well, you read the letters. I can't see them. You're far away. Can you get these letters in Japan? I can get the letters in Japan, but only if you send them to superbestfriendcastatgmail.com. Wow. What was that?

It's superbestfriendcastatgmail.com. Dot com, eh? Yeah. And all the way in Nippon, I will receive them and read them out. It's true. It's almost like the internet is everywhere. Good job. And yet, nowhere.

Get nowhere. What is it? It's magic. When will we ever find out? Like, straight up. It's technology magic. You don't understand how the cable goes to the thing, to the wires. This magical power that came to our planet in 1967.

All right, read them. It's like, it was pornography. We will never figure it out. Good job, Al Gore. Thanks, Al Gore. Kelly says, OK, seriously, Pat, are we going to get the rest of that story? Having your eyes gouged out hurts like shit. Oh, yeah.

People think that was you. I saw a bunch of people go like, in subsequent videos, Pat has referred to his eyes being gouged, him being attacked, and him being hit in the face so hard that it looks like a spark hit. What the fuck? I used to do martial arts in high school. One of the things you learn, especially if you're helping teach a self-defense class, is eye gouging hurts like shit.

Let me show you. Why would anyone teach an eye gouge? It's not exactly. Well, for women to defend themselves against, like, attackers. Yeah, but it's just gouge out the guy's eyes. No, there's a special way you can do it to push it. That's gross. So you know where your nose meets your eyeball?

Yeah. If you push your finger super hard into that thing, you can get your finger behind someone's eye, and then you push to the right or left, depending on what eye it is, and then the eye will just fly out. Yeah. Just having the finger pushed in there hurts like shit. It hurts like fucking shit. Did that happen to you?

Mmm. I was the, in my class in high school, I was the smallest guy because I'm short and stocky, so I was the guy that Sensei would always do cool flip tricks to, because it was super easy to toss me around like a rag doll, and I stopped doing it because I realized that this was happening, and he, like, flipped me over, is back, and then I landed my face smashed into his knee, and I blacked out, and I wake up, and he's like, see, just like that, and I'm like, I'm out of here. I can't fucking do this.

And yeah, no, I also used to get in a lot of... Please, Indonesian, Bob. Please. Yes. In my trip through elementary and high school, I used to get into a lot of fights, and if you get rocked right in the face, really hard. You see sparks. You see sparks.

I saw sparks once. Yeah. Because I thought you were referencing the person you knew who actually had an eye come out. No. No, no, no. That's a whole other story. It's fucked, man.

Yeah, no, that's, you want to hurt somebody, you go for that. Punch someone in the throat, fish hook them in the mouth, or gouge their eyes. So the answer to the question is that... Also, I should mention to all minors or adults listening to this podcast, I am in no way endorsing eye gouging, fish hooking, or throat punching of any sort unless you're in danger like for realsies. Or there's someone at your door trying to sell you something. Can't wait until the court case where they read it off like for realsies.

Yeah. Yes. Excuse me. If someone's trying to take your crack, that's how you deal with them. Mr. Puave, I have here that you told your podcast audience, mostly under the age of 18, that eye gouging was super effective and totally hurts like crap. We got one coming in from Phil. He wants to know...

Hey, Phil. Hey, PJ Phil. What's up? Jennifer Hale, I'm not withstanding, has a voice actor's presence in a game ever considered making you, have you ever considered picking up a game based on that merit? Everyone who was in the legacy of cane games. So Simon Templeman and Michael Bell. If they're in a game, I will give it a look because those guys are awesome.

That's a pretty interesting question. It's not the reason why I picked it up, but it's the reason why I stayed. Fucking Catherine. Sure. The voice acting was impeccable. Oh, it sounds like we're all over Mordor's dick this week. Yeah, we are. But I should mention this has nothing to do with Mordor, but Liam O'Brien does Gollum.

I did not know that was him. I thought it was Andy Serkis. No, we saw that cut to Gollum. I was like, this isn't Andy Serkis, but this is the best fucking impersonation. Because I'm so used to Liam O'Brien's Akihiko cool guy voice. Whenever I think of him, I think War. Yeah. I'm gonna be weirded out by that.

I think of that one soldier in New Vegas that's everywhere. Or the cool guy in fucking Catherine, whatever his name is. I don't think I ever went to a game for voice acting, but there were some games that caught my eye, like leading up to it way early. Beyond Two Souls was like, oh wow, those are like real actors. That's interesting. You know what? If it was just a bunch of other French actors again, Beyond Two Souls, I'm not even sure

we would have played it really. Yeah, you're right. Beyond Two Souls definitely, although I haven't actually played the game. I lent it to you. I know. I still have it. To be fair. Because you will take it back.

That's sad. That's a thing. To be fair, it's like he shouldn't be playing that. Just play other games. That's what I'm doing. But it's there. It's on my to play list. I'd say Darksiders.

When I first looked at Darksiders, I heard War's voice and that's also Liam O'Brien, I believe. Yeah. It's really good, but it was also, what was the main satanic guy, the guy that you always go to? Oh, the merchant. Not the merchant. The big devil guy.

The big devil guy, of course. I should know. Satan. Satan. But he's voiced by fucking Bennett in Commando. So I was like, I gotta see that. We got one coming in from Abraham and he wants to know, last podcast, you guys said Liam's family was like the one from Full House.

If you could live with one of the following sitcom families. The Matthews from Boy Meets World. The Boy Meets World family. The Matthews. The Taylors from Home Improvement. The Winslows from Family Matters. Or the Banks from Fresh Prince. Oh, the Banks.

It'd be a little weird. Yeah. It'd be a little weird for me, but I get to hang out with Will and Carlton at school, so I just let the Will sing out. The Banks is such an easy choice on that one. I'd go for Home Improvement because I fucking love Home Improvement. Shut up. You know what, I'm gonna say Home Improvement, but I would want to go to the Banks, but it's

like, it's kind of boring. Like, if Will's not there, what's happening? Nothing? You're rich. Yeah. I mean, that's what I mean. But the... And Shredder's your dad.

But the family in Home Improvement, they're not... Tim has a fucking show. They're not poor. They're not poor. The Winslows are poor. I would never have been able to live with the Taylors. Wait, Lily, how come you're not in Boy Meets World creeping on Topanga? Topanga's, you know, yeah, that's cool.

But I want to live in a world where my transitions are fucking DJ Jazzy Jeff Beats. Yeah, exactly. I could never live with the Taylors because I just know that me and Randy slash Jennifer Taylor... John the Taylor Thomas, I would fight that motherfucker every day. Every single day. But he'll just gouge your eyes out. Yeah.

Every week in Fresh Prince World, there's a super hot black girl. Every day. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. And they put video games there, so... And you're rich! Yeah. You live in Bel Air.

We're going to take one from Nathan, who wants to know, is there any force on Earth other than grievous, bodily harm or loved ones that would cause Woolly to cut his dreads? The answer is, yeah, boredom. That's it. Yeah. You know what's really boring in your head right now? You should cut your dreads off. You should probably do it.

And you should do it right next to the statue of Hachiko. Yeah, and put them on him. And put them on him and glue them to him. Yeah, no, if you cut your dreads off, it has to be immediately followed by you gluing your dreads onto something you're probably not supposed to. It'll make Hachiko look like the Benny Woolly thing at work. Yeah, no, I agree with that on this. God damn it.

A bunch of fucking children in this podcast. Yeah. Like one of those old dojins where it's like that dick has a super Saiyan hat on it. Yeah, sure. Like that. And the last one is coming in from Lars, and it's not a question. He just wanted to let us know that there's a video game out there called Super Robot Wars, original generation saga, the Lord of Elemental, F coffin of the end.

Yeah, that's the new one that just came out. Yeah. Absolutely. That's the real title. The title for this was called Pride of Justice. That's pretty good. So they've been pretty good for a while. Damn sure.

What was that coffin bit? Say that again. Lord of Elemental, F coffin of the end. That's ridiculous. That's a coffin of the end. Japan always goes crazy with that shit. Smash Bros, it has like eight words in its title out in Japan. Dirento Smash Bros.

Oh, that's it? Yeah. No, I'm thinking of Street Fighter. I'm thinking of Super Turbo, where it's Hyper Super X. Sure, sure, yeah. Grandmaster of the fighting, like some nonsense. For matching service. Stop.

For matching service is the best one, Pat. You know it. I know it. I know it. All right, real quick guys. What do you have on the watch? I mentioned earlier I bought the Vanishing of Ethan Carter on Good Old Games. I installed it, but I haven't started up, but I'm looking forward to it because it's

got some good reviews and I'll see if I like that because it's not actually a horror game. It's more of a murder mystery, so I'm trying to boot that up this week. I'm continuing to play Hyrule Warriors and Mordor. Tomorrow, a game I've been looking forward to for a long time comes out, Natural Doctrine, which is a fantasy strategy RPG. The first game, Kadokawa Games, develops themselves. They, of course, own from now. It apparently borderlines on the masochistic and it's like Fire Emblem.

Oh, it's perfect. It's like Fire Emblem. It's called Natural Selection. Natural Doctrine. Whatever. So I'm really excited for that. That's the wrong title. And all of you guys should be excited for Smash on Friday.

Yeah. Oh. I can't believe it's on Friday. I know. Super excited. Super excited. I'm going to be splitting my time between Monster, Mordor, Ultimex, Wasteland 2, and Smash.

Fuck me. I know that. The fucking, the fucking, the holiday release. And it's the start of October. And I'm going to be in Japan when Beyo and fucking Evil Within come out. Well, I was about to say, right? When do you get back? Take everything.

Oh, few more to do. Pat, take everything you just said. Everything you just said and crime it in with Beyo. And that's going to be me getting off the plane. That's you. Yeah. No, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous.

Fuck. I'm going to be the rest of fucking Japan. That's right. Yeah. Fighting some dude on top of Tokyo Tower. Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

But also velocity. Going to gun more through that. You know, good stuff. Yeah. Good. And yeah, I know. And actually like catching up on some other shit going on here. Like I'm in Japan.

I'm like going through some Jojo. Yeah. Of course. You know, you got it. I mean, like even though you're on vacation, you have downtime. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

Like you can take some days off. So Matt, what's coming up on the site and channel? I think today, like, like we talked about a couple of times. We have a video of Shadow Mortar where it's me, Pat and Liam. And we had a pretty good time with it. Like we already said. I think we did have a good time with it. I enjoyed making that video.

It was a fun time. The other thing that might be coming out tomorrow is that WrestleMania 2 should probably be starting and lasting all the way until October 31st. That was great. Oh, WrestleMania 2. Yeah, WrestleMania 2. Okay. Yeah.

It stripped up all those games that we did. With those fan favorite wrestling games that we couldn't play because they were too buggy or too weird. Please disregard any Zybatzu Tumblr posts that show that we're going to be starting the shit store. That's just the title. That's this Wednesday? Yeah.

Wednesday. Okay. Everyone shut the fuck up. Shut up. Shut up. Listen to what I'm about to say. In the arcade, in Taito Hei Arcade, I saw a cabinet for the newest, hottest, ultimate muscle game.

That franchise continued after we stopped. After everyone stopped caring, I didn't get the title. But it looked like the game we played, but way better. Okay. That's cool. We'll have to research that. Yeah. That's still fucking going.

Still back to the programming. Dark Souls will continue the entire month of October, despite Woolly being in Japan. It's magic. It's fucking magic. Walk should start on this week. It should start soon. It should start this week. It was meant to start last week, but it didn't.

And yeah, Matt, you're joking around, but yeah, shitstorm is starting. Yeah. It's going to run the month of October. Wait, all of it? All days? Every day. Oh my god. Is that three years ago?

What's the structure? No, it's two videos a day. And remind me, what's the structure for this shitstorm? It's different. Okay, yeah, it's different this time. So basically, there's a lot of games that people have been screaming at us for two years now. Please play this. Please play this.

And we've said we don't want to do full LPs of this, because either we're afraid the game's going to run real dry. Yes. We can't beat it, or the game just breaks, man. Which one of them does? That's correct. One of them does. One of them does.

Fucking just break. Yeah. So we're devoting a week to each of those games, and we're also going to have a bunch of one-offs like normal near the end of the month. Just to spice it up. Because, you know, there's a bunch more reasons. And in the meantime, those are going to be the videos of the day, and we're going to have everything else we're doing as a secondary video.

Yeah, that's right. And Fisticuffs will continue as normal. There you go. Lots, just, everything's good. The shitstorm's just going to be added on top of your buffet of regular concerts. It's the candy corn coating on top of your plate. Get the fuck out of here with that. Don't compare our immaculately perfect month of videos to fucking candy corn shit.

No, I'm sorry. That is poison in your mouth. It is disgusting. Sorry. Gross. It's really not. It's fucking disgusting. I'll fight you.

We'll wrap this up now. Just gouge your eyes out. And I will fight you over the disgustingness level of candy corn. I will punch your eyes out. Pat, you need to go play costume quest and find out how wrong you are. I know. I know. Oh yeah, costume quest.

I know. Candy corn's really cool as a monster because it's gross. It's true. So you don't punch your nose straight off your face. Yeah, you have to come at me. You swearing your mum? You want me. All right, I think that's going to wrap it up for this week, guys.

Yeah, so we will see you guys next time. Yeah. Will the Yuki enjoying the pan? I will. We'll enjoy it. We'll see what happens. Do it. Tune in next week to see if you really destroy Japan.

If you really drive Tokyo Tower and get arrested, time for that. Clobbersaurus. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.