Castle Super Beast - SBFC 075: Chickens are Noble Creatures

Episode Date: January 13, 2015

This week we talk about AGDQ, crazy sick Kickstarters and the tragic decline of the Japanese console sales.  

We should talk about that. Let's do that. Well, it's really cool that we're up there with the Virgin Kotaku. I was going to say to help out the Kickstarter because it's doing really poorly. It's not. It's like $2,000 away from the fucking succeeding. Oh, you have to do. And you did pay for the banner, right?

Did someone? I did. Oh, yeah. It was my idea. No, I mean, you. I never saw you confirm. Yes. Yeah, no.

Yeah, I said that. No, I bought it. We're in there, man. We're in there, man. You gotta be. But it's like, no. Driftstage is one of those projects. We're talking about Driftstage.

What you need to do is open your eyeballs and your ear holes and just go, uh, okay. My money is on the NeoGaff reaction to the thing, the girl, this is the most amazing art stall I've ever seen. Oh my God, the soundtrack. And I'm like, I'm good. I'm good. I'm put my money in. The only disappointment is there's no stretch goal for a Saturn version because when I see

it, well, they said they said they're not even going to think about stretch goals until they hit the 30K, which should be happening in about 80 seconds. And they're being, they're being very humble with what they're asking for as well in terms of like just, it's a low. That's like FTL numbers. It's a low. It's a Kickstarter. They're only so many people.

So yeah. Yeah, they're three guys and they know what they're doing. And they're unknown. They're three guys. They know what the fuck they're doing. Three low programs. Yeah. You know, ridiculous amounts.

And when you look at the pie chart on it, you can see that like the actual funding for the game is 40% of the 30K that they're asking for. Yeah. 80% is surge taxes and fucking energy and all kinds of other shenanigans. I saw one of the, the, the mode thing said like put your driver through the story and I went, what? I, that's all it says. It doesn't say what it is.

It could just be like one page of text, but that's still awesome. Yeah. No, man. Love driving games of stories. The best part of driving games. But again, to catch you up to speed, that's... You are so fucking tired. I'm really tired.

Like I can't, you are like, when you're talking about Dress Stage, the game that you brought to our attention with the, with the words, yo, we got to do this now, who wants to record it? And I said, I do. Great. And you're going, hey guys, we're talking about, you didn't sleep for shit. I didn't sleep for shit, man. His eyes aren't even open.

They, they, mmm. I feel bad because like the last couple of days leading up to here, like I've gone to bed at like, I didn't sleep until 5am. I watched like four movies. I'll talk about it. Yeah. But last night I went to bed at 11, I woke up at 8. Yeah.

So it happens. It happens on occasion. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm fucked. You feel awesome though. So back to Dress Stage, tired boy. And it's one of those things where it's like, it's like, man, whatever, I try and then I'm sitting there and it's not working and I just get up and do more stuff. I literally had that, that happened to me last night where I'm 7, I'm like, I'm going

to go to bed and it's dark and I'm awake and it's light. And then I had a nightmare and I was like, why do I even bother going to sleep? I had a nightmare the other night that I threw up in front of Hideki Kamiya and he gave me this look and I just wandered off. Great. Yeah. And I was like, this is what's horrifying. The worst ever and the worst part about that is that that is a thing that can actually

happen. It can. And like, you better have some sort of American cleaning product in which to clean up my vomit. You would. You would. It's fucking scary. I woke up in a cold sweat. I was like, oh please.

Don't let me blow this one big jet. Oh, never flow it. Oh man. I had a dream that ended up being a nightmare. When you have that dream where you're like, yeah. And then you wake up and you're like, oh fuck my life. Right? So I had the dream in which Monster Hunter was hanging from the fucking rafters and I

had to fight Ric Flair. Figure it out. You said that for Monster Hunter. Yeah, I saw that. Seriously. Yes. And did you win? No!

You weren't going to win. Your chest can't take the chop. And I woke up and was like, that's awesome. Fuck no, it's not awesome. That's the worst. Was it full power, Ric Flair? No. Was he in a street fury?

Was he in a pool of ancient time? It was modern, pathetic, so was he and so was Conrad. Yeah. Oh man. Fuck. The slayer of the Babylonian gods. Fuck. All right.

All right. Well, you know, I guess this is episode 75. Wow. That's what I was going to say. It's the Silver Anniversary. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. I should rage.

God. There's this silver one and there's that other one that's the Wood Anniversary. And I can't help but think that Wood is a disappointing name for it. Well, you've got to work your way out. Yeah, but it's like, could you imagine? You've got to work your way out of the place in the Olympics and they gave you a wood metal. That'd be awesome.

Would it be awesome? Are you Canadian or not? I want like a maple metal or something. Yeah, that's it. Some sort of maple candy. Not bad, not bad. I don't know though, man. Like a nice finish.

Like the wood metal will wash. But a nice finished wood, I've come to appreciate it. You're right. Arcade sticks have taught me. In my mind, it's plywood. So you're right. You see the grits, you see the nice, the circles, you know, the fringes, you're right. A varnish on that shit.

I'm imagining someone saw it off the end of a 2x4 and stuck it on a feather and it's your metal. Fuck video games, man. Let's appreciate wood. You know what feels like wood? Yep, that's wood. Yep, that's, I was just thinking it. Yep, that's wood.

You know what feels like wood? Dick? Dolphins. Really? Yep. Really? Yep. I would assume rubber.

I remember, yeah, you would fucking assume that, but I remember vividly when I was 7, I went to Bahamas for vacation with my family and I petted the dolphins. I was like, oh, that doesn't feel like I thought it would feel. And then on the way out, I grabbed a hold of, you know, that fucking weathered kind of handrail made out of wood. Like this feels exactly the same as the dolphin just dropped. Well, you're crazy because I petted a dolphin four months ago when I went to Cuba. And he described it as it feels like the underside of like a plastic, like water toy.

Like the underside of like a two, like a surfboard, like a surfboard, you're not feeling the right part of the dolphin. Apparently, you must have felt a different part. You would probably feel like a wooden dolphin meant for hunting, and lures in the regular dolphins for shooting. Why would you hunt a dolphin? Well, the same reason they're STD crazed sex maniacs. No, it's because they're too smart.

If they catch up, we're done. They can breathe underwater. They can drown the sea. They're so smart, how come they don't have TV? Do you think of that? They're not that smart. Yeah. Who throws cars out of iron wood?

That's some good wood. Iron wood. Iron wood. You still don't know quite what it is. You don't know enough about the iron wood. It's really hard wood, man. It's the best wood. Yeah, I know.

That's all of that we know. That's all of it. I would know. It's going to be surmised. Great. Although... The fuck is this podcast? Man, I'm not considering this one.

You guys fucking take the wheel. Well, I mentioned it. Let's have more dream theatre. I mentioned it, man. A few days ago, I couldn't get to bed, so I just watched three things on Netflix. And the first thing I watched is like, I never watched Pumping Iron, the Arnold Schwarzenegger like before he was in the movie. Stop laughing at me!

No, specifically it's like, and when I'm in the gym, it's like I'm coming. I'm coming all the time. I'm coming inside the woman and when they get them to the stage and I pump, it's like I'm coming in front of 5,000 people, so how great is that? So the weird thing about Pumping Iron is that... Yeah, the weird thing? What's the weird thing? That's not the weird thing, because when you meet all these guys, they're all like,

yeah, no, coming. They all agree, right? What's the... What is the movie about? It's just a documentary about... What's a documentary? Yes! How was that line in the documentary?

Wait, what? That's a documentary? I said this is before he got into movies. It's called Pumping Iron. I thought this was that movie where he kills the lady for that? No, that's a made up stupid thing. I don't know where the source is, what you're talking about. Pumping Iron is Lou Ferrigno's quest to defeat Arnold at the Mr. Olympia.

You know, in the contest. You know, in the bodybuild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was a movie, though. And after Mr. Olympia, which is the best Mr. Universe, it's a lie! So Lou Ferrigno's... And the entire time Lou Ferrigno is just very quiet, just like, yeah, I'm gonna beat him.

I'm gonna beat Arnold. I'm gonna beat him up with these dads. And he's like, come on, Louis! You can do it! He's a bum! He's over the hill! And it goes back to Arnold, and he's just getting high, and he's just going... And it goes back, and then he's working really hard, and I swear the movie is, like, Arnold

is the villain. Arnold is Shudder McAvan, right? Yeah, ok. And Lou Ferrigno's happy about that. He's got the villainous Austrian accent. Yes, exactly, like evil foreigners. Just fucking wasting time. And everybody loves Lou Ferrigno.

Yeah, the entire time is that they just keep, you know, bouncing back and forth. And Arnold knows Lou Ferrigno and knows his family, so when they meet in some sort of resort in Africa, like South Africa somewhere, they're gonna have the Mr. Olympia Showdown. And they're having dinner with Lou Ferrigno's parents, and Arnold's just like, ah, you bought you a...you bought Lou! Yeah, it doesn't look in shape to me. And they're like, oh, he's been working really hard, although I agree or disagree. I don't think so.

It's like, Mr. Olympia five times. And Lou Ferrigno is just sitting there taking it. He's not saying a damn thing. Right. And I'm just like, wow, ok. So then they do the whole, like, showdown and everything, it's really hype. And then they announce the winners, like, coming in third place from the United States, and both Arnold and him are booked as coming from the United States via wherever other country

that they're born from, coming from the United States. And I was like, oh my god, back in the 70s, they still knew how to cut documentary reality type shit in this way. And I'm just like, oh my god, oh my god, it's not Lou Ferrigno. I didn't know who won. I knew that Arnold stopped. I don't know if you got to keep thrown or just whatever. Lou Ferrigno wins third place.

So then Arnold just like makes this tiniest little look as Lou just walks off the stage and then they go, ok. And then the other guy just gets announced for a second and goes, so then the most unbiased announcer goes, and then the winner, the one and only, the great. And I was like, oh god, this is so set up. Because when he walked on to the stage initially, they also called them the one and only. The group. Meaning they didn't want anyone else to win.

I mean, Arnold, I don't know. I don't know anything about bodybuilding. I don't know how you can get. You set us up. You set us up. Oh, bullshit. His methods of emasculating Lou in front of his parents are the same that he used when he was running.

Yeah. And he was like, oh, Pablo looks like a girly man. Oh. Well, you remember that? There was a fucking thing in one of his debates where he was arguing with another candidate and he's like, I think I have a spot for you in Terminator 4. Yeah. Like, I'm going to murder you.

And one final thing about this is that Lou's back in the dressing room and they're announcing like the winners or whatever. And his dad goes, you get them next time, Lou. You're going to be bigger. You're going to be something like they never seen before, Lou. You're going to eat your arms. They're just going to go, yo. And then Lou's like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

You're going to beat Arnold next time. You're going to beat him. You're going to beat him dead. He's a bum. He's nothing. Then it cuts back. But Arnold goes, I'm officially the titling undefeated. And I was like, oh my God.

And then the dad turns and he goes, he announced what? Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh my God, that's awesome. And it was all a work. I wish it was all a work. Just, just stands at that shit, man. And I'm out. I'm out.

Really quickly. I finished Parks and Rec. Now, when I talked about Parks and Rec, I started in the middle of season three. What? You s- We just, we watched one episode and then we were just like, we just got caught up in it. And remember when I said like two weeks ago that the first season of Para is apparently

quite a bit different? Yes, it is. Then I went, when we finished the end of season six, we went all the way back and fucking do that. Just watch the first episode. Ron is on cell phones. He's playing online video games with people and he's wearing suits, suits and ties all the time.

He's nothing like Ron. They didn't know what he was. Really? It's so weird. I don't remember that shit at all. Exactly. Because six other seasons were the same role. Of these men's super libertarians and I hate the government, man.

He has one joke in the entire first season that was any funny at all. The show is slow. It's awkward in the first season. They just like jokes just sit there. It's strange. I hear you, but I just don't believe you because I liked it enough to keep going. Yeah, exactly. And that sounds awful.

I'm not saying it was bad, but now when you start later, it's so much better. Anyway, in the first scene, Ron has one amazing thing, anti-government thing that he says. He says, I don't believe in the government. I believe there should be a room with a man who sits at a giant button that nukes everybody and he should go through some type of IQ test and occasionally women are brought to him when he desires them. That's the only thing he said where I was like, oh, Christ, the lab. The locus test saved the insane nuclear thing.

Really hit it off. Let's make that the whole character. So like I said, it's one of my favorite shows of all time now. I enjoyed it immensely and season seven starts in like two days, which is the only comedy I can think of that has a Naruto style time jump. What? What? Actually?

Yeah. Shit. Jesus. It doesn't say to where. I got to catch up. I say a time jump, but no one knows if it's a real time jump. Oh. Some people think it's just like a joke and we're missing this.

It could be a setup. Technically. We don't know yet. Actually, technically, Archer does one too. Yes. Light action. Cartoon's a little bit different. Yeah.

Archer's basically live action. And I talked to Willi about it before I won't go too much into it, but I watched Boyhood. Yeah. Oh. Boyhood is so fucking amazing specifically to maybe, maybe to all of us. Because I'm watching it, and for those that don't know, it's just they started filming a kid when he was nine and filmed until he was 18. Like everything you're saying about like hashtag game changer and like it's a man.

I'm just, and my reaction is just like, yeah, it better be otherwise you ruin the child's life. The reason why is because when you're watching it, you go, oh, that was probably done like this. And you go, oh, wait, I'm stupid. An example is him and his kid friend are playing Halo. And they go, oh, it must have been really tough for those kids to re-alclamize to old video games.

And they go, no, they played Halo when it was out. Yeah. Of course. And most movies aren't like that. This movie came out last year. Yeah. So I constantly have to remember that was in when that kid. This was filmed.

It's like I was saying when we talked about this, if you film enough footage, you can make whatever fucking movie you want. And you know, like a movie, it's like we take place in the 80s. We take place in the early ox and they have something to remind you. Here's Britney Spears. Yeah. Here's the touchstone. They do it in this movie.

It was there. Yeah. It's so bizarre. So is it like a time capsule where it's like there's stuff that reminds you of the era, but it's not put there to remind you of the era? No, it was there. Yeah, exactly. It's just the result of this.

Dad, I want a Razer phone. Those things are so cool. He has the exact same Dragon Ball Z poster in his room that I fucking had. Okay. So he was playing, he started playing the GBA, then he started playing the Xbox, then he moves on to the Wii, and then that's the last time he cared about video games apparently. But I was just like, oh, it's so weird because you just keep reminding yourself in your head. Like that was the thing.

Willie, he goes to college. He has gigantic black portfolio because he's an artist. He was carrying the exact same one and he goes over to an installation. He starts doing all this college shit that I remember. I'm like, oh my God, he did this. It's so bizarre. Okay. And it was all a work.

It was kind of a work, actually. And like there's no real story. It's just like these moments of life and many of them, I'm like, oh, that's tough. What did I do? I just scrolled into a ball. So not to undermine it, but if they came out and said, okay, we actually filmed this all over the course of a year, would you be more or less impressed? What do you mean they got different actors?

Yeah. If they came out and said like, no, this isn't actually a movie, not a documentary or anything. I would be just curious and it's hard to be more or less impressed. If I hadn't seen it, like I'd probably be like whatever, but I can't take it out of my head. Okay. You know what I mean? But it was actually seen the whole time.

The only problem is that the kid grows up looking like Anakin Skywalker and I kind of want to punch him when he's older because I'm like, he looked exactly like he did in Revenge of the Seth and I'm just like, oh, I can't stand your face anymore. You're cute before. This is the scene where you're recording the recording Star Wars. It goes that late? It goes like 19. Oh, geez.

Wow. Okay. I thought. When I heard the term boy and the concept, I thought it was going to be like four to 16. Yeah. I would have been earlier. I started when he was nine, finished when he was like 19, 19.

That makes more sense. I think it was cradle to grace. It's easier to fuck up a kid when they're young than when they're slightly older. I also remember, it's not just him, it's his sister. The female actors were going to hang out. I mean, I don't know too much about. And Ethan Hawke. I mean, they all filmed them in the same time period.

So you see Ethan Hawke get older too. Do they have like an elf-like character in there? I, Smurf, perhaps. Smurf? No. I wish. That'd be awesome. It really feels like that sometimes.

He could pop out of the scene. Yeah. And just be like, hey, what's up? The family talking about it. I'm glad to hear it's good though. Yeah. And I also watched a bit of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Yeah.

Okay. So how much of it did you watch? Okay, wait. Before that, what the fuck is Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Brooklyn Nine-Nine is Andy Samberg's comedy show that's cops on Fox. Goofy, goofy cop comedy also made by the creators of Parks and Rec. Good stuff with Andy Samberg and Terry Crews. Terry Crews.

Yes! The police captain's Andre. And well, okay, dude from season four from the wire that creates Hamster Dam. Oh, buddy. What's his show called? Yeah. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

It's not his real name. No. Put that down. It's way goofier than, say, Parks and Rec. Well, yeah, Samberg's in it. No, but considering it's a police station, it's like this shit does not fly. So I started it three times. I started it, I watched it once, and then I just didn't finish the episode.

Then I went back a while later and started it again. And then after it was my girlfriend who watched it and I was watching it with her again. And it was just like, it's not Lonely Island. It's not Lonely Island. It's not as good as other things. But it has its moments. It has some, specifically the term old person gunk. Yeah.

Oh, damn it. Sure. Yeah. We have to take the seniors around. Are they going to have that old person gunk? There might be a little gunk. It just feels though like a piloted show for Fox. They got the people in there, but they don't have the writers in there.

Akiva's not penning the script in the back. No, no, no. And if he was, this shit would be unbelievable. It's got some funny bits. Give it some time to grow. Give it some time to grow. So I will go on and on. So that's pretty much, I just watched a bunch of shit.

Cool. Right on. Liam, you going to grab it? Yeah, sure. Grab the baton. Grab the baton by the bowl of boards. You know, I'm going to start with a movie too, because why the fuck not? I decided because I can't get enough of shitty comedy movies.

Yeah, I like this kid. I like watching Ted. So I watched. Yeah, I know. What a weird, interesting movie that wasn't what I thought it was. Wait, really? I thought it was just going to be a dumb comedy about this guy who talks to his teddy bear. Yeah.

I didn't know the teddy bear was alive. Oh. That changes everything. Yeah. It wasn't good. No. That's all. He's not as rude as I expected, though.

I expected him to be like really exceptionally coarse, but he was barely overall. That's just the bear work at a grocery store. At some point he worked at a grocery store. Because I remember from the preview where he's just a vile piece of shit in a grocery store, and I remember thinking, yeah, that's about right. Yeah. No, when you get there, I was at the grocery store scene and I was like, oh my god, this is like that time I was shopping and Pat was bagging my grocery.

Yeah. That happened a long time. No, I haven't. Okay. For the comparison. It wasn't very good. Don't even bother. So that's a downer.

It's just a waste of time. That movie was a massive, massive success, though. Ted Toots coming. I never saw it, and that would open the doors to Seth MacFarlane, just fuck cartoons. Just could make movies all the time now. I could just make bad movies like I make bad cartoons. Well, I guess that's the end of that then. Otherwise, I put myself through Android gaming hell, because I know two people who swear by

Android gaming. Wait, what? Like, yeah, man, it's the future. That kind of shit? But I respect them because they've released games independently. Okay, well then. Okay, they're developers. Yeah, exactly.

So I've kind of been neutral on that and been like, ah, I don't think so, but whatever. Now that I got this shield and I've had a while to play with it, there's no fucking games on Android. Yeah, so fucking absurd. But when I got this phone and I said, fuck it, I'm going to give the shot to Android, I fucking spent $22 to get every- I've got literally every good game that I've ever come out on Android. Yeah.

Well, and I was looking at like the 10 games I did buy in the end, and nine of them reports and one of them's a shitty Chemco RPG, so, you know. But like, there's so little that has controller support, which I find bizarre, because the MOGA took off like nothing, and the NVIDIA shield is whatever. But you know, there's a bunch of controller shit, and yeah, there's no software. Well, it's like Linux, man. It's standardization. It's like-

No, exactly. It's the openness platform, which means there's no 360 pad. Yeah. So you put some time into your product. Yeah, I did. I did. The only games- What do you guys know about that?

The only game worth a damn for controllers is like- It's like Portal and Half-Life and shit, but it's all- I played it all before, like, ugh. And then even when I'm looking at the stuff that's just for the touchscreen, it's like, I can play Dragon Quest with my NVIDIA Shield sideways with a touchscreen. Why can't I use buttons? Just Dragon Quest literally not have a non-portrait mode. As far as I looked it up, couldn't find any-

That is fucking insane. And there's a fucking- There's a fucking King of Fighters game that doesn't have a non-touch mode. Like, it's one of the KOS games on there does. That's why you have to get rhythm of fighters. Which I did, and it's pretty decent. Okay, there you go. But like, fuck, Android is like way more barren than the App Store.

It's absurd, and like, I'm disappointed. It's not for games. For such an open platform, I'm shocked. Well, part of the reason is that Android piracy, you just download the game and install the IPK- APK. Or APK. Yeah, there's no rooting. There's no jail-breaking fucking about-

Just do it. Yeah. No, I realize. I realize. It's the easiest piracy that exists. What I mean is I'm still surprised that I see people saying stuff like, Ah, fuck buying a 3DS. I'm gonna buy an Android phone for the game.

Well, that's because those are the kinds of people that should never have been buying gaming handhelds in the first place. Yeah, no, basically. If you're able to dissuade that easily from like, with nothing. Yeah. If there's no spices or silks, there's absolutely nothing ever. If 3DS is a game that it's the only game you need for the entire year, then those are the people that say that.

Yeah, no, exactly. And so, you know, I'm stepping back out of ever touching that Android marketplace. But ridiculous fishing is so fucking good. Ridiculous fishing is great. Well, it's a port of an iOS game. Well, no, but like, it's a mobile game. Yeah, it's cool. And like, that counts.

Sure. That's an Android game. But like, I've played it. I played it, I played it, I got it, like ... ... and I'm looking at the rest. And without going into games with either energy meters, or like absurd, free-to-play bullshit, there is so little on the premium ... But on Temple Run II, you know, on games as controller support.

I don't know why, but like, you keep badgering me to play some Alien vs. Predator game? And I don't know why. I don't know if you're doing a joke... It's bad. No, it's just to torture you. Okay. ... or you've got a phone and you're not using it. Well because there's shit games on it.

Play steadfast fishing! No way. It's so good. I have no time to play that. Dude, it's Game of the Year 2015. There is no game that you have more time to play than Ridiculous Fishing, because it takes 30 seconds. You could download it. No.

No, it's too good. You'll like it. It's a lot of work. Otherwise, I played through Stanley Parable. Yeah, here you go. Did you do that too? Yeah, well, I was like, oh, I just bought a computer. I should play that.

I did all the endings. That game's really good. You know all the one of the endings. You didn't play the game for four hours. Sorry. Nobody... You... No, sorry.

You guys are throwing questions at me. I played it for four hours. You didn't call the endings. Not the game... No, no, no. Because there's not the game Stanley Parable. The game within the game. No, I didn't.

That one's for crazy people. But I did play like four hours of games trying to find everything else. Really, really good game. Just really smart. And when you think you've seen everything, something else happens. Yeah, when you get to the point where you're like, oh, I think I went down every path. You step out of your office and it's a blue hallway. And you're like, oh.

Yeah, no, it's a fucking great game. Not to mention, if you gave up on opening random doors because it never does anything, you then missed some stuff. Yeah. No, like, subversion of expectations is like the cornerstone of making a good game. And like, Stanley Parable is 100% about that. It's really interesting. I kind of wish there was more.

But the problem was that if there was more, it would just be like, you'd never feel like you actually beat it. No, I know. I wish it were a labyrinth instead of a maze on the back of a cereal box. You know what I mean? Because I looked at the flow chart after that. And I was like, oh, there's not. I was thinking it would branch a bit further.

What's important is that right up until you looked at the breakdown, you didn't know the breakdown. It's not transparent until you step outside of it where I'm like, I've gotten 16. I know there are like 20. How the fuck do I get that many? Well, whatever the number is. But it's like, how do I get the one where I glitch outside the world? And stuff like that.

To me, and again, I watched as we're going from Trident as well. The most interesting run is the first one for everybody to just see how you deal with what's being presented to you without spoiling anything. No, definitely. I think the confusion ending, whatever it was called, is the best one. That one kicks ass. That was amazing. And that was the first one that she got while she was playing.

And I was like, wow, OK, so disobedience. And then right into that. The whole goes pretty deep for a while. For a while? No, that's the best. That's the fucking best thing. I wish that game had more of that type of thing. Yeah, because a lot of them are just over and I still like it.

I tried to diffuse that bomb, man. Yeah, you tried. You can't fucking do it. Exactly. And the only other game that I put any significant time into was Long Live the Queen, which you guys might have heard of. I'm not aware. It's a PC game.

Was it made by James Smaller? No, no, it's not. It's made on Preppy, and it's basically you control a princess, and you have to keep her alive for 40 weeks so she gets coronated. Yeah. And it's just all about like upping her stats in certain ways. Is this an anime game? It is an anime.

Yeah, I knew it. I don't know what you're talking about. What would stop her from living? An arrow to the stomach. Assassinations. Well, or a number of things. She could just fall and break her neck. And anime queens have very thin necks.

Yeah, so I played through that, and that's just like you have to dictate what she does every day to move her stats in certain ways, and then you'll get to a certain thing where it's like, oh, her stat for climbing wasn't good enough. Oh, she's dead. Start again. And just try to keep her alive for 40 weeks, and I ended up with like 10 sheets of notes on my desk,

and I eventually managed to finish it, and like, what a fucking, what a schlep. I don't know if you enjoyed this game. I did. I did enjoy it, but you really have to want to finish it. Is it turn-based or action? No, it's completely like menu-driven. It's made on RenP, but it's really like,

they really ran that engine through the mirror. Is this FTL? No, it's not. Because it sounds like FTL. This is the morning, what classes do you want to force her to attend, then after that, what should she do at the end of the day, and then the next day? It's fucking harsh.

It's really enjoyable, though. It's a really fun game. It's on Steam Sale right now, so thumbs up to that. Okay. Yeah. What about you? I'm sorry. I did just play Freedom Wars.

Yeah, how's Freedom Wars still? Great. 520 years. What? I'm almost halfway. You're sick. It's so good, man. I can't keep away from it.

You're sick. And my girlfriend picked it back up, and she was like, you want to play? And I was like, yeah. Yeah, see, there you go. Well, and then she invited me to an online room, and I was like, what's the password? And she's like, 0607.

And I'm like, oh, what's that? And she's like, it's your birthday. And I'm like... Aw. I couldn't say no. I couldn't say no. He just, like, neck-o-channed his fucking face there, people. I touched his cheeks.

You listen really carefully. You can hear him. I can hear my fingers over my mouth. Yeah. You're gonna get yourself... Yeah, yeah, I'll grab it. My week of insomnia... Oh, you're on a week now?

It was, it was, it was... You're upgraded. He's all over the place. He's all over the place. The anti-sleep week. So I was, I was going back, as I mentioned before, I was going back through the Star Wars movies and stuff.

Yeah. So, like, now... Now you get to the good... Now we're five deep, and we're taking a break to re-watch the Clone Wars cartoon. Yeah. Fucking Gendi Tartakovsky, man. That, that animation version

before they went to the 3D garbage? Yeah, yeah, no. Oh, the 3D looks so... I recently just saw that for the first time. Holy fucking shit, it looks so bad. It's unbelievable how bad it looks. It looks fine if the one you didn't watch didn't exist.

No, it's sub-reboot. It's so bad. It is. The fact that, and the, because I didn't see the show, but I went to the movie because I got free tickets. Now that movie is horrible.

Because that's a movie. It's unbelievable how shit it gets. And it was just like, this is all because you gave the reins to someone who knew what he was doing and made something amazing. And then that guy left. And you're like,

well fuck, we gotta do more of it. No, the answer is to stop. I have never seen as many people about to be on Suicide Watch as I have when I left that theater. Yeah. Even after you left the second screening of Avatar,

I never went to Suicide Watch. Yeah, sorry. Don't even try to go on. It's just the roughest fucking thing, man. But, man, going back to those cartoons stand up, dude. You know, the first season, we were actually...

Whenever you saw the animated guests of a stormtrooper just shooting every single van, they were absolutely, for no reason, just decided to watch, like, ten of them. Yeah.

Like, two nights. Well, they practically are, because I forgot about this. But the first season, the episodes are three minutes long. Yeah. The first season is just three minutes short. So those, they are gifts.

They're web ads. They can as well be, yeah. You know? And you get those fucking sick ones where you get, like, obviously, the stormtrooper, the clone trooper, gun fucking combo.

Just taking out different guns. Just switching it up. You get that. My favorite is, let's embarrass Lucas and show what Grievous was supposed to be. The fucking Grievous. The battle with Anakim and...

The Bog check. Yeah. You know, like, there's so many amazing moments where even they're like, hey, fuck off with the Bog. Remember this?

Remember this? Scaly wet dude. Maybe the Scaly wet and wet dude. Well, he's got a underwater mission and he's going to kick ass underwater because we can't touch that shit. Kipfisto's green and has dreads. Yeah.

And he has a shit-eating grin and he's like, yeah, it's water, baby. I got this shit. He's dead. You know, it was great, man.

Did he fight the Bogs? He fought underwater shits. It was amazing. The problem with the entire Clone Wars arc is that it was simply created to have a bunch of spin-off dumb shit all over the place because it was just a dumb war

with just a war. Like, it wasn't Star Wars. It was just one big dumb long battle that lasted like... And then it was too satisfying to watch that, though, because it was like, you just,

you'd get into these episodes where it was like, there's no convoluted, horribly written mess. No, no, no. It was just, hey, Jedi, go do this mission. One force against one force.

And he goes and does it and then that's it, you know? The video game equivalent of this is Republic Commando. Right, sure. It's exactly the same as what you're describing. You know,

Obi-Wan in the armor with the cool cape. Yeah. There's this fucking badass dude with his riders. You gotta go take him out. That's why the show came out. Okay, you took him out

Good job. That's what the show you're talking about is so cool because it took that concept of let's build action figures in video games and said, oh, let's make something cool out of it this time. Right. Yeah.

You know, so it just makes it like, it's hard because, my God, I wish this could last forever, but we're getting close to the end and it's like, plus it's a really quick watch.

It is a quick watch. You can watch all It's basically a movie. season one and season two in two hours or so. Yeah. Yeah. And like,

you know, we're getting introduced to Ahsoka Tan soon. So. Who? What now? His Padawan, the orange girl.

Oh, you mean the movie, right? Yeah. You mean the girl that ruined everything. Well, she showed up in the 2D cartoon just fine. Oh, she did. Yeah. I thought she was just a 3D show

or movie creation. No, no, I'm pretty sure she showed up at the towards the end of the 3D cartoon. Because she turned into new Jar Jar, basically. Like, really. She's not as bad as Jar Jar.

Yeah, but That's, yeah. She's getting there. She's now that he's fresh in the memory. She's on the past. Jar Jar is way more terrible than that, man. But anyway.

So that was awesome. I want a Darth Talon show. Oh, God. Yeah. You and me both. I started and finished Banner Saga. You know,

what essentially was one giant sitting. What was your play time about I can't tell. Just curious. Well, I can't tell because I left it on.

So my save was like 60 hours. One giant sitting. You know what I mean? But it was way less than that. Yeah, of course. Just getting close to the end. Like, because I played it

for like 10 and didn't finish it. Really? Yeah. Check how long it'll be. I got to a really tough fight with the second team. And I was like, ah.

Well, you missed out because that has a really cool ending. I bet it's not a happy one. And can't imagine. Part two is on its way. It's on its way.

Yes. It is in development. And that's going to be super interesting because it's basically telltale-ing it in the sense that like, you're probably going to end up

carrying over your save. Okay, I have to restart the game. And results. Yeah, I have to restart. Okay. So, yeah. I'm going to give it another go. Continuity is going to matter.

You know. Man, that game's fucking cool. That's great. And I never really expected that. You had another kickstart of success. Yeah. And it's interesting because when I was watching it,

I thought there was going to be more gameplay to the caravan-ing. But there really is. It's Oregon Trail. Yeah. It's just a tack party. Yeah. You just sit and watch and

wait in the random event. Hey, I made a decision. It was the wrong one. Exactly. Yeah. That's it. You know, I kind of assumed there would have been more.

What do you do with that fucking drunk? Oh, tie him to a post. Let him dry out. Yeah. And then. How did that work out for you? Well, he then started to fire. Yeah.

He tripped over a tent and started to fuck. So, then I told him, camp away from everybody else. Fuck you. You drink all you want, but not in my sight. And he fucking fell in a ditch and died.

That is exactly the same thing. What are you going to do? So, he's just fucking what's his face from walking dead? He dropped down that fucking tower. Oh, Ben. Ben. Ben.

We should have fucking You've given him so many chances. Beat him to death. The instant. What, Ben? Well, yeah. No, it's a drunken guy. Yeah, drunken guy.

Ah, chastised. I'll keep this advice in mind. Okay. Ben. I don't remember if this is guaranteed or not. But there was a moment in in Banner Saga in which my strongest

party member slipped and just fell off fucking cliff. Geez. No, that never happened to me. Okay. My strongest party member in the game, in party number one.

Oh, my God. Wait, no, I know what moment you're talking about. Yeah. I did the right thing and I saved him. Just, just straight up. Yeah. I, I, no, it's like,

threw up or something. No, no, no. The wagon is going over the cliff and he's like, fuck, that's our food and supplies. And he grabs it. Yeah. He's holding onto a tree.

And then you got to choose what do you want to do right now. And then like you go to help him or help the situation. And the tree starts to crack. Yeah. And then what do you do? And I was like, let that shit go.

Let that shit go. We can build up the renown to get the money back. It's fine. We don't need the food. Oh, shit. Yeah. And you know what?

And that's early. That's early. And he is a strong ass party member. Yeah. Don't, don't fuck that up, man. Also, you don't die when you hit zero supplies. What?

When you hit zero supplies, when you hit zero supplies, you don't just drop dead. You just resort straight up to cannibalism? No, your guys start dying off slowly. Oh, well fuck me.

Every day with nothing, you die more and more. Exactly. That's good. So you can survive making it into, making it to the next. That's a detail

that would have made a bigger friend. Exactly. Because you pull up to the next Godstone, eating your fellow man. You're like, oh, food.

The Viking guy is big. Yeah. They're done. A lot of meat. The Varl. Varl. No, man.

And you know what, you know how I can tell as well that this is going to be an ongoing story? Like they set up so much plot that they could never possibly cross over. Like everything

It wasn't the one Saga in the title? Yeah. Yes. Everything to do with the Prince. The, not even,

no, not even that. Like for me, it was the introduction of three force, counter forces. Okay. Not forces of evil,

necessarily. There's three opposing factions. Three opposing factions that are not you. And I was like, that's a lot. That's a lot.

Yeah. And you, you know, you deal with one right now and then we'll work the rest. But it's a great game. There's only one problem with that game.

There's one problem with that game. And the art is amazing and it's so well animated. But due to the style, many main characters are just pallet swaps. They are pallet swaps

and they're flat shaded. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like three quarters of the Varl are literally the same character. So just with different colors. On a budget.

Like, like the thing is this, the main guy has a mustache. No, generally, generally, everyone that's a part of your crew has like traits that are kind of unique to them.

But they're like sharing. But they're sharing. Because it's all hand drawn animation. It looks really good. But yeah. It is though. Also,

the super long banner as cool as that is is hyper impractical. Oh my God. It should be dragging on the ground. It's called the banner saga, dipshit.

Hanging off of that shit. We gotta put the banner up. No wonder your warrior fell. He just tripped on the fucking banner. It's the tail of my peoples. Or whatever the fuck. The longest, most convoluted banner.

How long is it? Because it's fucking huge. It depends on how many people are in your caravan. Oh, actually. Yeah. Oh, okay. It's a magic banner.

It's a short little crowd of people. It's a short little banner. You've got a giant ass trail. Because I just saw it in the artwork. And I was just like, wow. It grows with your crowd. That's awesome.

Yeah. That's cool. Fuck that. You got a real bad banner. Of course. I think something we must have all done is watch a shit ton of AGDQ. Yeah, of course.

I watched a bunch of those. And yeah. But like people are tweeting, you know, hey Tetris. I'm like, I know. I'm watching Tetris.

It was really good. The Grandmaster. I don't know if you remember in my Japan video. Like from the makers of Tetris, the absolute comes Tetris Terror Instinct. Terror Instinct is the best title. And then these guys are actually breaking

down why it's called that. And what that means. It's hitting, it's hitting like, I feel pretty confident in my Tetris skills. I saw you play a couple rounds of Tetris DS. You're pretty good. You know,

I think I know what I'm doing there. But these guys are, of course, they're fucking AGDQ players. So they're like, yeah. So the thing about Tetris DS though is, it doesn't have these restrictions

or these restrictions or the lock frame timing. So basically for children. So it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's a nice introduction

to getting really good at Tetris because you're playing at max gravity. But it's not the Grandmaster rules. I'm like, God damn, I'm exposed. I'm one of those smash basement champs. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. AGDQ has that ability sometimes. To do something that you like. Yeah. And you'll be like, oh, everything I love is a lie.

Oh, yeah. There's a punch out run that they have going there. Oh, I didn't see that. I mean, yeah, like the ones of their ventures, of course,

I'd say Tetris, Lost Levels was really fucking good. It was an amazing Lost Level set. Shovel Knight was fun. Go ahead. I caught one. I'm not big on watching streams, but I caught one

because I heard that it was coming up. I said, well, I have to see this. It was Kaizo. Yeah. Okay. Fuck.

Again, that I can't even fucking touch is being in what, eight, 19 minutes? Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, man.

Comes with experience. Fucking. No, it doesn't. It comes with experience and superhuman freak ability. Dude, the Ocarina of Time Speedrunner did the child dungeons

blindfolded. Because why the fuck not? Why not? At that point, it just wrote muscle memory. So what's the difference? It's not muscle memory. Some of it's muscle memory,

but a lot of it's like memorizing visual, audio cues and stuff. But I feel like a dude like that has played it so much. Oh, of course. That it is muscle memory. It's all over.

It's all over. No. The stick in this direction for this many seconds, then do this, then press that button, then go that way. Like, he did it blindfolded.

Even it's not muscle, man. Like, there's a difference. Anyway, that's all. Well, I don't know what to call that, then, but it is memory. I'm memorizing my muscle movements in sequence

to play out in this time frame. Plus, he was probably weighted. He was probably using weighted muscles when he played it. You're right. He's literally memorizing and using his muscles.

It's not what muscle memory is. The muscle memory is when you make pancakes for 40 years and then you can do it just like that. This is memory and then he's using his muscles. Like, there's a difference.

Well, he's been playing Ocarina of Time for 14 years. One might say he can do it just like that. No, he can do it. The pancake guy can do it in his sleep. That's what muscle memory is.

Muscle memory is like... He did it blindfolded, Liam! There's a difference. No. I know. Liam's actually... I don't know what you're saying. Anyway.

You're still a dick, though. I mean... You're just a right-ass dick. The Shovel Knight one was interesting as well to see, like, those fucking boss strategies for just owning the boss

as thoroughly as possible. Just makes it look unfair. Yeah, well... It's like the first encounter against the... Rifle Knight. Black Knight. Black Knight.

Where he just... You just go to Lawrence. And just meet him in the air and he never fucking recovers. And it looks so unfair. You know, like, I love seeing that shit. Well, it's always stacked

in the player's advantage eventually. Did you watch the transistor run? No, I didn't. So the main bug in the transistor run is just skipping battles by using jaunt to jump over battle areas. And just get past the trigger? Skip battles.

Oh, wow, wow, wow. And it's, like, an hour long. An hour and a bit. God. It's something. Skipping past triggers is the fucking sickest thing in the world. Like, there was a Mega Man...

Wait, are you telling me I can move slightly beyond the entire collision box with this encounter? The Mega Man X1 has... Do you know the sick-ass Armored Armadillo, like, you're going down there for the minecart?

Yeah, for the minecart. So you get to the end where the massive slowdown thing happens. Yeah. And you fucking jump at certain points to avoid the bird triggers. And they never spawn,

speeding up that route. Wow. So that you can see the top of the fucking end to get your Hadoken faster. Oh, yeah. Wow, that's cool. Unbelievable.

That's good stuff. So yeah, shout-outs to those guys. Obviously. How many shout-outs do you need? They made a million and a half dollars. So, like, the run that was my favorite, by far, was fucking Super Monkey Ball. Every year, the Super Monkey Ball runs

are amazing. Because, well, Monkey Ball exploitation is like that. How can you, how can you make that one in a million shot happen again? Yeah. And they do, right?

Practice, practice, practice. And, like, muscle memory. There's no monkey around here. If you guys, if you guys haven't seen the fucking Super Monkey Ball one, you have to check that out. It's bananas.

Every stage in less than three seconds, right? Every stage as fast as you can make possible. And I guess the last thing I'll mention of note is I watched the first episode of Gundam Build Fighters.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you've seen any of that at all. I'm familiar with that. Okay. It's really interesting to see, like,

what's going on here. Because a lot of people have recommended it. Especially our, you know, big mecha friend. And, um... Yeah. My customer.

Build Fighters. It's called Gundam Build Fighters. And it's, it's, it's fun to see, like, what is essentially, like,

a Mega Man Network Transmission kind of show. But it kills, like, five birds with one stone. It's actually really smart. Mm-hmm. Because it's like, okay, the main thing is

a bunch of kids playing with their Gundam toys. Of course. This is the premise. Yes. But it's taking place in a Gundam animated world. So, um,

there, they use them on these little games that you play, and then they have simulated one-on-one battles. Yeah. Yeah.

So one, you get awesome... We need to finish going. So, yeah, oh, yeah. So one, you get... So one, you get a lot of between historic,

different Gundam from different shows. The fantasy match-ups. Yeah. And it's just the core battle with no frills or bullshits. Saku versus the other Saku. Yeah. And it's my action scene go,

which is fun to watch. So it's like a dream fight. Right? Exactly. Yeah. But then it's, like, also introducing it to a new generation of kids.

So people that weren't around when these particular models were... It's a lot more approachable. Exactly. It reintroduces them. Mm-hmm. And then you have shit where, like,

you know, these kids are talking about, like, and then randomly in the background, some guy that is exactly a legendary villain from, like, the first series is just a human incarnation

that's standing around. Yeah. And say, hey, what are you kids up to over here? Oh, that's a Gundam battle. Oh, I can tell you about that. And you're like, what the fuck is this legendary dude

is just an old man walking around Tokyo? Like, it was awesome. It's really nifty. It's a fun idea. And I mean, like, it's like, yeah, it's a smart way to bring Gundam to kids.

You should try Gundam Breaker if you haven't. It's a game that's similar to that. It's not based on that. And basically, you build your Gundams out of, like, model kit parts. Okay. Yeah.

And then all the battles take place on, like, I don't know, in the Gundam Cafe and you're tiny. Okay. Gundam Cafe. It's fun. Yeah.

It's weird that it's coming out at the same time, but it's not based on the anime. But, you know, I'm definitely interested to continue going with this, because, like, again, at the very least, you pare it down to

just sick action scene battle between all stars. Mm-hmm. You know? So that much is satisfied. Did you watch JoJo? Now that it's back, you see the fourth opening?

Oh, my God. Dammit! I was sitting here, I was sitting here, like, going, oh, when you pass them over to me, the first thing I say is, like, I can't believe

no one's talking about End of the World! No one told me what they were planning for that intro. No one told no one. Nobody knew. No, some people knew it.

And they didn't tell me either. Yeah. These people knew in advance when it was going to air on End of the World. The thing is, the intro for the Egypt saga of JoJo

is now the original three bands. All three bands that did the playing together in a new fucking... Eventually, combining into... Orororororo. Ororororo.

All of them together. It's great. I did not like it the first time I heard it. Me too. It's super slow. It's super slow. I watched it about 30 more times

and then I was like, oh, this is really good. This is really good. I had the same thing. I just love it. I didn't have like a Sonocino saga. Yeah, but then I started

to appreciate the spooky tone. Yeah. And the words being used. A lot of time. Yeah. A lot of time getting immersed into there.

I won't go too into it because you can dig too deep if somebody talks to you. You can spoil yourself just looking at that opening. So, yeah. So every anime opening

of this, all the JoJo openings are fucking spoiler casts with the upcoming season. This is the subtlest and best and most perfectly artistically rendered spoilers.

Yeah. Because these are actually impossible to figure out. Yeah. Unless you know what they are. No, but my girlfriend doesn't know the thing with Dio.

I showed it to people. When I was watching it the first time, I was like, oh my god, I hope it doesn't spoil it. I showed it to people because I'm watching it. Yeah.

And it's all there. It's all there. Oh my god, that spoiler is hard. Yeah. But you can't quite tell like it's just something I guess.

It's the biggest thing in the world. You just think it's symbolism, right? Yeah. I guess. But that animation quality is fucking great. So good.

And here's the thing. I see what you mean about the song because I agree. I feel it's the weakest intro so far, but I still feel that it's a great song. It's great.

Yeah. Like it's JoJo's intro quality. Oh, part is weak. The animation or the... It's not. Other ones are just so good. Yeah. Each intro

and each band has a particular style that they like fucking maximize. Mm-hmm. And when they come together, it kind of blends into one that is weaker than the...

It's a multi-class. It's not the total of its parts. You know what I mean? To be honest, like if there's a four-minute version, it might be better too. Oh yeah. Perhaps.

Perhaps. What I hope for when I hear that like everyone's coming together is I want jam project. Yeah. Because that's the ultimate like we're power dudes

individually and we come together and shatter the earth. Mm-hmm. And that's what I was hoping for. Didn't really get it, but it's still a pretty good intro. Yeah.

Matt, I think it's like the other openings are all like 9s and 10s and this one's just like an 8. Right, right. It's really, really good. I'd say 10, 10, 10, 9. Yeah.

Well, yeah. Yeah. Same effective. Yeah, basically. I was freaking out all weekend because people kept posting this like fucking meme image of Wolverine

looking at the photo on his bed and it's a picture. It's a picture of JoJo looking at the photo. Yeah. It's the first where he's looking at a picture of Wolverine

looking at a picture. Oh, yeah. It's fucking good. I was like, what's going on? We need a third source of looking at a photo. Yeah, yeah. We need another cartoon

or something that happens. Like Memento. Yeah. Yeah, Memento. It's the easy one, but the Wolverine's the easy one too, so. Before you take it, Pat,

we need to do it. Quick word for more sponsors. Oh, no. Dung. What? Attention. What? I thought you were doing a

Clavier-Gavin thing. No, we're in Germany now. Nope. I'm just making a call for y'all. Well, he's got that pointy head on. Listen up, because you need to know. What? What is it, froline?

I'm not a froline. Yes, you are. I am not a fro or a froline. I'm a hair man and wants to let you know that. You wish you were just hair. Oh, man. Cousin it over here.

Cousin it want to be. Every question to the podcast will be a guess what about hair. So. It's true. Please continue. You know what? You won't get in a box

that comes to your house every month. Hair? Yeah. Ten steps ahead of you and no, that's not true. You will not get that. That can happen. However,

if you subscribe to Loot Crate, you will not get a box of hair every month. Wow. Can you guarantee that? I can promise you that. Wow, they might have a theme month. I don't know if I'm interested in hair.

A hair theme month will not happen. There are way more interesting things. Like probably the closest hair you can get to hair month would be like 80s or like gem in the holograms. Yeah. Now like hair metal month is totally possible.

Right? Anything like that is totally awesome. Just a box. You open it up and it just shoots hairs right into your eyes. That would be unbelievable. I think those are the Loot Crates

of like 30, 15. Yeah. But for now, in 2015, we're going with the good stuff. You know, the nerd stuff. The geek stuff that we all love and want sent to our houses every single month.

I totally use that Captain America Air Car Air Freshener in me and my father's car. Yeah. It smells like freedom now. You have a car? She has a car. Okay. Yeah, I was going to say.

Come on. I'm not really confused. I'm not manly enough. Why are you driving me around if you have a car? Why is an I being driven right now? Yeah, pretty much. Why is an I?

Because I didn't get a car in Loot Crate yet. Well, you're not going to open up a Loot Crate box and get an entire car. No hair, no cars. But you can get awesome stuff for your car.

And stuff that, again, fits into our... If there's a car month. Yeah. Or you just like putting stuff in your car. Rodimus Prime. Exactly.

That was really cool. That was car related. We've seen time to car related. That was the last cool car thing related that was cool ever. You know. 1986. Well, the point I'm getting to, boys,

is you want to head on down to lootcrate.com slash friends. You use the promo code friends, and every month you have until the 19th at 9 p.m. Pacific to sign up and get that month's Loot Crate.

That's like midnight eastern. We talked about how like fucking that date is. And if you do sign up, you will receive that month's Loot Crate, which includes six to eight items of licensed official gear of all the collectibles.

It's not fucking knockoff bullshit. Exactly. Yeah, it's real stuff. Like the hair. Yeah. Or that car. I wish they had a lootcrate that was just off-colored

sonic figures and like... No, that's a steamer. Knockoff bullshit. I love that. Yeah, I love that. It's a knapsack with like colored sonic... This is Obama.

This is Obama. ...or Harry Potter. It would fall apart the moment you touched it. Yeah. Exactly. That's not what you're getting quality products out of your lootcrate. Okay, okay.

I understand. That's not what you're getting in there. We're talking too much about what we're not getting in our lootcrates, but we need to talk about what we are getting in our lootcrates. Yeah, yeah. They shipped to over nine countries,

and if you head up 10 to their site, you can see that there's over 40 bucks of value in every single crate. You'll be like, hey, look at that. Oh, that is totally worth it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Star Wars, Marvel, Walking Dead, Zelda.

Are those all the same things now? I'm telling you. Yeah. They're dork stuff. Yeah. So once again, that URL is lootcrate.com slash friends, promo code friends. You save 10% off your new subscription,

and you get the good stuff to your door every month. Every month. What else is there to say? Nothing. Thanks, lootcrate. Oh, yeah. Except for that.

Yeah, thanks, lootcrate. I'm tired. How do you say thanks in German again? Er, you got to know. Yeah, that's the way. Pasvedad, yeah. I want to talk about my thing, but I guess the sponsors are important.

Yeah, well, they just went by, so now talk about your thing. Oh, fuck, I don't know how time works. No, you don't. Did you have a week this week? I did. I spent my week doing three things. The first thing I did this week

is just obsessing and enraging myself over, by the way. Blank. I sold Liam my new 3DS and Monster Hunter, because I came to the realization that I'm stupid. I can't use this.

I'm an idiot. Will you sell me your percent of Q? No. Why are you such a penis? Yeah, because I'm just... I'm just going to hold this thing hostage from you. I unwrapped it and put it in my 2DS case that I have yet to play.

I unwrapped it so that it wouldn't be sealed. How long does this fight last? How long does this fight last? Why don't you just buy the game? I'll lend it to you the day after you buy the game. Okay. But, okay, remember last week how I was talking about how

I was not looking forward to calling Sony on the phone to get my $171 back for a repair that didn't need to exist. Oh, yeah, you need to update this. Yes. So, first update is that I got tons of people contacting me on Twitter and talking in the Reddit

and comments on the podcast video. This is a really easily reproduced bug. Well, I was going to say I Googled it the night of, and I found that like, oh, it's like tons of people know about this. I got to it super early, but people must have noticed it the week after all. Why should happen? Because, yeah, it's super easily reproduced.

So, I call them up, and I spend the hour on hold, and I'm psyching myself up, and it's all just like, oh, I'm gonna have to... We go through the thing like, hey, I'd like a refund. Oh, you'd like a refund? Okay, hold on one second. So, we authorized a charge,

but we never put it through. They never actually charge hook my money. The guys repaired it out of warranty for free, even though it was nothing. Good on them. Not good on them, they just didn't do it. No, they did. No, they didn't charge you because they fucked up.

They did replace the entire insides of the console, but didn't charge me ever. So, good on their fuck up. Good on them not charging me for being out of warranty is what it is. So, thanks, Sony customer service. You had a problem with your PlayStation 4, which was not a problem with your PlayStation 4.

And they fixed it, even though it wasn't a problem. They fixed the problem that didn't exist and didn't charge you for it. Yes. So, they did the right thing. Weird. Stand up guys. Kind of, I guess.

I mean, there's a chance that they had caught it after you sent yours in, because when I googled it, there were videos dating from before you told me. Well, what was the guy's voice on the phone when he said that we didn't charge you? It was a lady from Texas or some shit. She was like, oh, we didn't charge you.

I can't do a Texan accent. I'll get to charging you then. I wear a cowboy hat. We didn't charge you nothing. Yeah, she says that on the phone. I don't fucking know. So, that ended up being nothing to my chagrin. Good.

I was just kind of disappointed. You guys were so ready for the debate. I spent like four days hyping myself up. We were going to have a big sweaty argument that didn't like you. And it was nothing. And a fucking 4,000 word notepad. Yeah.

So, every conversation branch was met. Yeah, exactly. And so, then I had... It's like you were getting ready to cut a promo and then... Yeah. So, then I saw that the new 3DS had the Ambassador Edition going out to Europe, and that's when the Monster Hunter dream started.

And I started to obsess and go crazy. So, I said, I need to get off. I have to stop. I need to find something else to pour this energy into. Yeah, I know. So, I went back to Far Cry 4, which is really, really good. That's why, yeah, when I came in, I was playing it. Why did they have to...

That's a really good Ubisoft tower climbing, fill out the map, collect the collectibles game. Yes. Did they really need four in one year? Yes. Did they really need three in one month? Are you counting Assassin's Creed Rogue? Yes, I am.

Yeah, well... Did you really... It's still a checkbox game. They're all the same. No, it's like the same franchise. They made four, and there's one good one. And it's really good. You said four, what's the fourth?

You've watched Dogs? That's not good. Yeah, no, it's not good. Oh, you said there's one that's really good. There's one that's good. So, did you need... No, I mean, Rogue is good. Okay, so...

I think Unity is good. It just doesn't run great. But did you need four? No! He got over 10,000 mouths to feed. And Far Cry is the best one. There's your answer right there. That being said, man, if I had played more Far Cry 3, I would hate this game.

Because it is the... It's a goddamn expansion. So, are you going to skip next year? Yeah, I fucking... Not if it's got dragons and dinosaurs in it. They know when to change. Not if you're fighting Wolverines in the arc. But a formula like exhaustion keeps up.

Like, I think, honestly, Liam, between you and us alternating, we can cover all the bases. Hopefully, yeah. Maybe I'll finally play Far Cry game next year. Like, right now, you're on the off years of Assassin's Creed, and you'll cover the ones that we don't want to touch. Yeah, when we play the Far Cry game, that's just garbage. You're going to be like, it's the best one we're talking about. Like, it has so many features from Far Cry 2. I mean, like, it's different.

Yeah, it is. So, that wasn't cutting it. It wasn't doing it. It wasn't enough. So, cocaine. And making sweaters. The drug analogy is upcoming. So, I didn't want to buy anything because I didn't think there was anything worth buying right now.

So, I said, okay, what have I actively ignored that will feed a crack-like addiction that will get me off of Monster Hunter? Before you even get into the thing you replaced the hole in your life with. Were you in a jonesing state of neutrality? Yeah. Jesus Christ. I'm literally sitting there talking to a friend of mine. What a hard life. I'm watching Epo with a friend of mine and I pause the episode.

And she's like, man, I wish we were playing Monster Hunter right now. What is that? I know. And dreams about it. Go on. Go on. So, let me stop you again right there. I remember it doesn't seem too long ago where I was waiting for a movie to start with you and you had Monster Hunter on a PSP and you were like, man, this is such a fucking garbage game.

Yep. What a turn around. That was a couple of years ago before I was online. Whenever one came out on the PSP. Yeah. The Monster Hunter Frontier 2G Unite or whatever. I just remember looking at your character, you had a giant afro and you just went, I fucking hate this game. Yeah, yeah, that's about right.

I have the default. That's the default. As for now, it's the same thing except he's rubbing his index finger under his gums. I hate this shit. I hate it. So, I decided, you know what, I should try something free because that has no cost investment. So, I found out that if you just go to Blizzard's website, Hearthstone is free. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Hearthstone is completely free. I didn't know Blizzard made that. Oh boy. Someone else made it. So, I was- You know it's subtitled Heroes of Warcraft. Yeah.

I didn't know that. I didn't know that it was subtitled Heroes of Warcraft. So, when I loaded it up, it's like, hey man, you should play as Jane of Proudmore. You remember her from Warcraft 3? Yeah, I do. I do, holy shit. Yeah. She's awesome.

You can use Polymorph on Illidan's menu power. Illidan's in it? Illidan's the boss of the tutorial. I didn't know. I love Illidan. Hey man, you want to play as Malfurion Stormrage? He's my favorite dumbest name. He can fucking buff his goddamn shit with Mark of the Wild just like World of Warcraft.

So, I'm playing it and I look at it and I look at the money structure and I research it. This is actually a really good free money structure to buy packs. So, how much money? Zero. Oh good. Zero. I might buy the next Ramas expansion because I don't want to spend up the 700 coins to do that. I hear it's crazy addictive.

So, I played maybe until 7 a.m. this morning. Maybe a couple. I don't win very many games because my cards aren't very good. But somehow that doesn't... Oh, blame me on the cards. No, man. The fucking what's the gnome expansion came out. Oh man.

Oh, I have all basics. Dude, I'm just joshing. I'm playing a ton of card games. Every time I lose a max, my brain goes man. You know, it's only like a buck fifty for two packs. Maybe you need to pull something decent. And every time... So, here's the genius.

Here's the genius, right? You can earn forty to sixty coins from your daily quest which is usually shit like win three as a certain class or stuff like that. And a hundred coins gets you a pack. But, a hundred and fifty gets you an entrance to the arena where it uses random cards. You pick out a random cards. And even if you lose all three matches, you still get a deck out of it and some dust. What's dust for? You burn cards you don't want to make cards you do.

And if you win seven in a row, you earn your investment back. So, you go right back into the arena. That's really good. So, this sounds like nefarious crack dealing. Sounds like it. Yep. What's dust? Dust it.

Dust it. You burn like crack. But that's not the nefarious shit. This is the equivalent of the Barxdale Strip Club. It's technically legitimate. But, you know if you ask that guy over there, you could get some real crack, right? And why I say that is because you beat the tutorial. It makes you beat the tutorial before you can play online, right?

Then your first quest is for 100 coins or something. Then that's enough for a pack. It says, hey man, go play three games online. You don't have to win them. Just go play three games. Okay, I got the quest. I happen to win all three of my games. When you win all three of your first games, it says, hey, Pat.

So, we've noticed on your account that you haven't fed World of Warcraft in a while. That you happen to have a World of Warcraft. So, because you beat these three matches, what we're going to do is we're going to give you... Just for you, just for you. Just for you. Friend price of free. We're going to give you a super special, super fast... Mount Hearthstone Exclusive Mount.

Oh my god! I can't believe that! That is totally unique and doesn't even look like Ultra Special Mount. It's a dark blue lightning unicorn. You would love it. Bubbles, all you got to do is just wear the hat. Hey man. Just wear the hat and let us know.

It's free. It's in your... We'll be in the distance and you walk around talking about the hat. You put the hat on the guy in your account right now. Motherfucker. Your name is now Bubbles. You are fucking in. You're shaking.

You are fucking Jones. It is... It is so genius. And because the game is Warcraft, like when you... The theme is Warcraft. All the maps are areas from WoW. All the characters are people from WoW. All the abilities are things from WoW.

When you search for a match, it has a rolling ticker, like a lottery machine, that plays scratchy record player style Warcraft 2 music. And every single second of it is like, I'm playing a rogue. What's the rogue ability? You can sap them. You can poison your weapons for backstabs. It's class based for fuck's sake. What are the classes?

Oh, they're the nine classes from WoW? That you already know. And they play. And I don't like card games. This is the first card game I've actually got into. And so on top of that, because of the way the dailies work, and because of the way the arena works, and because you get ten coins for every three wins,

you buy tons of cards at the start, and you get a huge advantage, right? But the best way to get cards is not to play a lot, it's to play every day. That's welcome to free to play games. That's how it works. That's the strategy. So I stayed up till 3.30 last night specifically

so the dailies would reset, and I could knock it out as soon as possible. I was going to say, I want this story to end with you saying, and then I woke up outside a restaurant with no pants. Right. Like, it just wound up that way. That would be fair if card fighters clashed, caught on anywhere near as big as Heartstone would be.

I'm not going to lie. Come on, we would have been right up there. Now all this crack dealing being said, I really like World of Warcraft shit. The main lore. You really like it? Lore. Well, guess what?

I don't like the loudest. This is literally that, but in a really... So that thing is that it's also a really fantastic card game. It's pretty good. I'm not familiar with card games very much. The only one I actually know is Triple Triad, but it's the only one. I never played Magic and I never played Yu-Gi-Oh,

but I got to show you guys Yu-Gi-Oh, man. It's really fun. It's really good. I hate card games. It's not as deep as a lot of other card games, but it's really good. As an entry card game, it's super, super approachable to it.

Yeah, and just like... It's so stupid because it doesn't mean anything, but when you cast a fireball and the character casts a physical fireball and it goes to the minion and blows it up. Yeah, all the sparks go off. It actually makes a huge fucking difference. I believe it.

I believe it. So I'm in. I'm all the way in. I'm going to be playing this every fucking day. This game is good. I'm just talking about it now. Just talking about it now. I want to run out.

I was talking to a friend of mine last night. No, I'm just going to do the dailies and get Nexaramus. Do you want me to hang on to your credit card? I'm going to get Nexaramus through the... To get that ice block. Just in case. Through the coins. I'm not going to pay six bucks for each wing.

No, fuck it. As soon as I go home, I'm going to buy Nexaramus because I want those Nerubian cards. I want the spider cards. I don't understand anything you said. You didn't play magic back in the day. No, never. Never.

No physical card games ever. And you know whose fault this is? Ours. Because you know where I found out Hearthstone was actually a Warcraft game? Our website. You didn't know that? Oh, you mean the ad. Through the ad.

The ad, the fucking pre-roll that plays on some of our videos. The giant fucking blasting speakers at PAX didn't get the message across. I didn't know what it was. I don't think you understand how fully I mean the word actively ignored. I thought it was some type of energy. Because when somebody said card game, I said fuck that shit. We were watching the VGX's and they said Hearthstone Heroes of Warcraft was active. Wow.

Alright. Alright. So I will, I will, I am a big man and I will admit that I was super wrong. And that this is a nice friendly drug that you and your friends can play. It says the person that's addicted though. It's free-basing. I'm not addicted. I'm not addicted.

Wow. I said how you want to leave right here. I want to leave. If this game was on phones, which it's going to be on phones eventually. Hopefully. Well they keep saying we're going to put it on phones. They're just like, we can't figure out how to make it spacing out. If you're keeping notes at home with our giant bomb cast comparisons.

I can't wait for you to start talking about Dota's tweaks. From year to year and how Dota's still going to be on the top day. You're only a month away from that. I was talking to people about this and you're like, you're like, you're like a year away from shoemaker aim. Fuck you. You're way man. Like for me, like I said, I like Warcraft stuff, like more.

I want to watch Warcraft the days of our lives. I want to watch, I want to watch sexy triangles between Illidan, Malifurion and Tyra and Whisperwing. What? You're talking about Warcraft Adventures. Which never came out. That game, that game. That's why I'm excited for the movie though. I just want to see sexy triangles.

No, no, seriously. Like that's probably part of the reason to draw me in because like, I'm playing a card. It's the Frostwolf mount. It's, he gives charge to all your dudes. Oh that's the guy from Thralls. Like the fucking Shaman class is just thrall. If Boxigar was in Ago Nuts. Who?

Broxigar from a novel. Okay, well Rexar is the hunter character. You're in deep, without touching the games. Yeah, it's weird. I was reading, I was reading like a fucking, on US Gamer. I was reading like Guide to Basic Deck Building. And they're like, if you fight Kel'thuzad, you can't Alex Strasza your waiter this fight. And I was like, oh my god.

It's too, like it's the combination of, I know every, because I played WoW, because I played the Warcraft games. I know every character on the fucking board. And I get to look at them and go, yeah, that's about right. That's, oh, they should do that. Jaina Proudmore is the name of my long fucking. She's the tutorial character. That's awesome. Yep.

I'm not going to play this, but that's awesome. Yeah, you're going to play it. No. Play it. It's fucking free. I don't care. Except for the things you got to buy. Yeah, I get the feeling breadcrumb trail style gaming is not going to work on me.

I don't think there's something about me. You can't fall for that. Stop it. So Liam, I got to ask, have you played it? Only a little bit. Only a little. Didn't grab you. Because your card game comes over.

Because it's good, but I was just like, if I'm going to play one, I'm going to play Magic. Okay. There you go. That's all. But Magic doesn't have the fireballs. I've been thinking of trying it again, because like, I got the fucking shield and it's not supported on the shield. Because I guess the screen's too small. It's six inches or smaller.

The fucking 720p five inch screen. No, it has to be six inches or bigger. But I might download the PC. You never play Yomi anymore. You don't. I'd love to play Yomi again. We've got so many good games. Yomi is there.

Yomi is really well balanced. Yomi has played that with him at work. At work. Because of like a bunch of time, time to have actual fun. And now it's like you have all the time in the world. That's true. There was a moment yesterday where I was like, man, this game really is made for a tablet. Yeah, it is.

That's why the guy's fucking playing it in the over watch, over watch trailer. Yeah. And I was just like, man, I wonder what the cheapest tablet is. The fucking best. Oh, my God. Wow. Are you ever going to play that game? Don't get a cheap tablet, because you get fucking lags.

About the titles? Overwatch? Yeah, we're going to get there. So I'm going to do something. Maybe I should get an iPad. You remember that fucking time? Yeah. I said this to Pat.

I was like, remember when you bought an iPad for six hours and you went out? So this was way back before the podcast and I'm just sitting around and I should get an iPad. And then you bought an iPad. And I went down to the Apple store downtown and just bought an iPad too. The fuck. And went home and messed with it for about, I don't know, like three hours. And then went, wait, what the fuck am I doing?

And then went back before they closed and returned it. But now that there's an actual good game on it. Gadget impulse, man. Yeah, so. Still can't play it anywhere. You still need 3G or some shit. Yeah, well, we'll figure it out, won't we? You can tether it to your phone.

So as far as like stuff this week goes, I mean, we've already talked about the Drift Stage Kickstarter. The Overwatch thing, no, it's the fucking best. Like the name thing? Yeah. No, no, no. The thing of like, they can't use that name anymore because the U.S. government's like no, no, no, no.

Or something. Who was it? I don't know. But the point is that they have to change the name at some point. Wow. Immediately after it's unveiling, they have to change the fucking name. Who owns the copyright? I don't remember.

No, no. Let me research this for a minute. I will also. But the point is that Blizzard might have to change it to something that's not the worst name ever. The best thing to happen to Overwatch. Because remember how we all hated the fucking name? Call it Tournament of Legends.

And now you're illegally forced to change it. The two things I hate about Overwatch are the name and that like splash screen or whatever with that logo. The logo. The logo and like the blackness and like it's so contrasting to the video in the game. Could you imagine like fucking call it Titan? Just fucking call it Titan. We don't care.

Back arrows of Titan. Shut up. Don't say anything. Tournament of Titans. But yeah, basically they have to change it. Which is amazing. Wow. That is a blessing.

Wow. That's hilarious. Okay. There we go. Suspended. Inovis Labs has the trademark for Overwatch. What is it? Is it like a hot name?

Was it like a mobile game or something? I don't fucking know. Yeah. It's some piece of shit mobile game. Look at it. What I was going to say, how does a company like Blizzard fucking miss that? Because they probably thought we're Blizzard. They probably thought we're, yeah, we're exactly Blizzard.

If anyone has a problem with this name, fuck you. It's what happens when you don't care. Yeah. Because I can tell you, I had a discussion with a literal Paul Marketing saying, why does Thief have the subtitle? What's yours is mine. When Monaco has the exact subtitle. It's the same subtitle.

And I got the answer. And I got the answer of we don't care. I remember that. I remember that. And I actively fought to get that off of Thief. I remember that. Because Paul Marketing would look at it and say, okay, what has it, oh, something that we don't know what it is.

He did some indie game that's way better than Thief. No, he didn't know. And I showed it to him and I fought to get it off of him. You played Monaco. No, it's really cool. We were talking about it last week. Yeah, it's really cool. I mean, you just don't want to end up with the fucking king.com saga.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. But wow, that's a, I guess, yeah, you're just like we're Blizzard. Blizzard's fucking up all over. They missed out on the Dota train. You remember that? You remember they fucking sued Valve over fucking Dota? That was a while ago.

And Valve's response was you had nine years to do Dota. What the fuck are you doing? And then they said, uh, and then they made a shitty Dota and then they made Hearthstone, which is like, oh God, it's just, if they could, if I could buy a card back right now, I would buy a new card back. It's like, it's like tax, you can unlock them so it's like taxi companies trying to shut down Uber. Yeah.

They've had years to do it's not, it's not quite the level of a limo driver shooting from their rooftops. Yeah. Taxi driver. Yeah. You don't have to do it. You know, I don't know about this. Someone does it where you go, oh shit.

Okay. I mean, you don't think about it. Hold on. We got to go through a small history lesson. Liam doesn't know what the fuck I'm just going to look at that fucking thing. So back in the 70s, the Montreal police went on a full day of fucking strike. Real strike. No cops.

Yeah. Anywhere. Guess what? It was the purge. It didn't go very well and the height of it was taxi drivers decided well now that the cops are gone, it's time to burn down all the limo companies. Because fuck those guys. Fuck those guys.

They take our competition. Now, when you know what, you're at the fucking airport and there's the taxi line and there's the limo line, they don't like that. They want it to be a taxi line. So let's just burn down the limo companies. And they fucking burn. And they burn down one. And they just go arson crazy.

And it hit a culmination and I think this was what caused the police to come back. Off strike. Yeah. Is that the owner and his sons of one of the limo companies were on the fourth story roof of their building with rifles firing down into the street to protect them from the taxi drive that were trying to burn their shit down. The purge. And the next day it was like, hey cops, you are never allowed to go on strikes.

And that's why we have law that says emergency services cannot go on strike. That is absurd. That's awesome. Thank you for that. That's history. Nobody likes cops, but you can't not have cops. They serve a function you probably want to keep around. A really important thing.

They might do their job shitty, but they're doing the job. Whatever you think, whatever your opinion is of the job, the alternative is not waiting on us. No, you're absolutely right. The alternative is fist of your star. That's what's going to happen. Fuck man. Now I know there's people out there going, man, I could really go for some Mad Max shit

right now. That's not, that's not. The problem is you will not be Mad Max. Everyone knows that. You're going to be the guy tied to the stick that they use as a flaming projectile for Lord Humungous. Well the question is like how many people are there in Mad Max? Give me a carrot.

Like 30? How many people are there in the city you live in? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like that's the- Let's crunch those numbers. That's the issue right there. It's like you're not going to be Rao. You're going to be Bat.

Well, if you're going to be- That's fucking, it's fucking best you're going to be Bat. Yeah, it is. Like look if you're fucking win. You're going to be lucky. You know, maybe. Man. Because you will probably just be the dust under that sheet. You know Bat win are hilariously lucky like outliers because they know Kenshiro.

Yeah, but that's what I mean is that they'll be one of those. Like do we know Kenshiro in this scenario? No. I don't know anyone that's like Kenshiro. Your old roommate, maybe. Like everything that's happening to random people before Kenshiro gets there, that's you all around the world when he's not standing next to you. Someone took my satchel rice.

Yeah, that's all I had. Your Mr. Hart's lunch, man. You pushed Mr. Hart as much as you should have. He got a glorious fucking episode though. His episode. Welcome to the Mr. Hart Show. And that also reminds me to like thank the awesome people that were doing the Uber thing with the promo code William.

You probably got a lot of people that signed up to Uber and fucking did it, so like yeah, you guys are super awesome. Thank you for that. Apparently in other cities Uber is kind of sketchy, but I didn't say which cities. I think it's run like differently. Just difference are there's UberX and then there's Uber. What happens in UberX? That's what we have here.

We have UberX. Okay, so I wonder you've been taking it. Uber regular I think is the one where they have diet Uber. I think that it's the one where they have like dudes that show up in like black like vans and they're wearing suits and they open the door for you. It's a way high scale across your service. No, here's the deal. Your Uber sketchiness is directly proportional to the sketchiness of the place that you live

because it's staffed by people that are around you. But for what it's worth, like I said, the background checks are more thorough than taxi driver checks. Yes. They ask questions that taxi drivers don't get asked. I took the cab recently and it was probably the one of the roughest trips of my life where it was just from Vondome Metro to Alexis Neon. That's an easy fucking trip.

That's an easy fucking trip. Dude ran like three red lights. Just went sorry my friend. I'm sorry. This is what the guy sounded like and he sees some car and he goes, fucking woman. Yes. Fucking woman. Go fuck your boyfriend.

It was an iron sheik and as he blasts by her, I just see some lady just in the car. Like that's it. Like what? That's the reason you get in a taxi these days for the drama. On the way here one time, like a while ago before I started using the Ubers, shit, like a dude literally stops driving to yell at the other cab. Okay. Across and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

Did you break KK on the road? Did I talk about the cab ride I took to Japan on this podcast? To Japan. To Japan. Fuck. I wake up. I have to get to the airport to go to Japan because that's a flight I don't want to fucking miss.

Right. I call the cab company. They send the cab over. Hey man, how you doing? Great. Let's go. We're near my house, which you're not supposed to do. That's rough.

I know exactly where we are. Right. Almost hits another guy. Yep. And it's, I'm in the car. But you missed. You missed. I can see that it's your fault.

Yeah. Yeah. Guy stops. Taxi driver stops. Let's get out of the car. Let's almost have a fist fight. Like directly in, you know how my house goes to the right? Directly in front of my fucking house.

I have made it 10 feet. The meter says six dollars. And it's running. And it's running. Yeah. And I have a flight in two hours. I have to go. Yeah.

And that's a fucking busy road that you're on. Unbelievable. That's absurd. When you get into a cab, you think it's going to be fun. You think you're going to go, hey, take me to KFC. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going to pull up. He's going to pull up to you.

You're okay. Yeah. Yeah. And it's never that. It's always fun. When he skirts past the guy, you just throw more money in here. Quarters. Quarters.

Yeah, I never forgot about that part. Fuck. That's not how it goes. Hey, you're cool. God. I took the cab in Japan. That guy didn't say a fucking thing. He wore a maculant suit in a black town car.

Yeah. It was gorgeous. Oh, yeah. It was fucking spotless. The door opened itself. Yes. He's in. It closed.

They are fucking professional. Basically, Kerry was the guy that drove Genpachi to the tournament. Exactly. The intro. Yeah. So, you know what? Once again, man, if you don't want to deal with that shit, get fucking Uber. It's great.

Or there's the other one. Lyft, I think it's called. There's another one. Okay. But if you get Uber and you enter Willie, you get a free ride. You piece of shit. And I got my promo code. It's a fucking bunch of gibberish.

It's got numbers in it. That's unfortunate. But now I don't even. If you want a free ride, though, hey. Now I don't even want to entertain Uber, and I just keep thinking about what I'll try to take a taxi ride. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You should just get in a taxi, whatever something happens, just go, nice moves, man.

Throw quarters at him, you know? He got me off spring. A Mega64 that's ever happened. The most dangerous Mega64. So, you see, I'm trying to remember, I'm trying to remember, if you see the black dude, I've been driving up to you, you're like, yeah, you're okay. You see the punk rock? Yeah, you're okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see the hockey? You see that fat Italian guy? Nah, I don't know. Wait for the other guys. I never trusted that dude, because he looked like a criminal or something. Whenever I play Crazy Tactile, no, I don't really get that. Or the fucking announcer's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, alright.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Oh, is he gonna be a good ride, motherfucker? Crazy taxi, honey. You need to have a fucking digital clock that you just put on his dash. And a giant arrow that you just fucking turned with your hands. I feel like this is a Mega64. That's what I just said.

Oh, man. So much more. What's happening in the news video games this week? So, we already talked about the Drift States Kickstarter, but we forgot to talk about the Hardcore POV action film Indiegogo. Oh, Hardcore. We're calling the Hardcore. We don't need to talk about this.

Go watch the music video of Bad Motherfucker. Bad Motherfucker. And then we'll go watch the preview for Hardcore. And you'll know exactly what's happening. How's it doing? It fucking passed. Oh, it passed, okay. It's done.

Yeah, it's done. It's gonna happen. This is not even a, hey, go fund this. Oh, yeah, because it was filmed. It doesn't need your money. It was for distribution or something? It was, no, it was, uh... Yeah, no, no, it was to finish off.

They weren't done. They weren't done. Either way, it's like, they don't need your money anymore. Just go check out this awesome concept. Yeah, Bad Motherfucker, a music video that got went viral because it's a first person action movie. Yeah. And then, basically, a bunch of people were interested in making a full feature like...

A bunch of Russians. Um... Like, hey, they're Vlad. And, uh... Boris. And, uh... Let's make Russia a movie. Let's make action a movie.

All right. Get off your track suit. We need to get... What you can go to name is Dimitri. Dimitri? Yeah. Or Dimitri. Well, it used to be Dimitri, and then I watched The Wire, and now in my head it's Boris.

Boris. Uh, yeah. That is... I like anything that ends in a nice cough. Cough? Yeah. Anything that ends in cough is nice. Add cough to the end.

Boris cough. Um... It's fine. But yes, when I watched a trailer, it made me really sad about that really shitty first person section in the Doom movie. Oh, yeah. That's where the tragedy happened. They got it so super wrong and stilted and just, like, fucking garbage.

Well, because it's all CG and puppets and shit. The thing is, when he... So when this was getting put together, basically, the guy that made... The guy that directed Night Watch and Wanted, which is like... Yeah, Timur Block. Yeah, Timur, exactly. He was like... He wanted to see a full-length feature like Thumb, and he was talking to the guy that did the

video, and it was basically like, hey, so you want to make this? He's like, no, it's too hacky for a full 90-minute movie. Yeah. It's not going to work. He's like, well, don't you want to see this actually happen? And he's like, yeah. And he's like, well, who the fuck else is going to do it? And he's like...

So what's... Do you remember what the fucking plot to Hardcore is? The plot to Hardcore? Yeah. There's a plot. Uh... Yeah. You're part cyborg?

And the guy... The guy's a fucking cyborg in the future and has to get, like, the chip back and save the... It's like... What? It's fucking Street Fighter 2010. Like, Back in Motherfucker itself was cool because you're a spy being interrogated and surrounded by counterintelligence guys, and you have a briefcase with a teleporter in it, and you fight with the teleporter in your hand and shit.

They start jumping around on mountains and shit, right? And so they just... Yeah, they follow that same line of, like, insanity with this. But yeah, go check it out. It just... This looks like it's going to be really sick. And they totally sold the concept with that, like, three or four-minute sequence. Yeah.

Yeah. With Captain Price. Just fucking owning shit, man. It was great. Captain Price, the British man, with the step-up, and the fucking red beret, just, oh, you can't hear him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't see him.

Just toss a grenade down there, laddie. It's just fucking... And limbs go flying in your direction. And in our preview, we get a nice Wilhelm, one of the best players in a while. Also, Captain Price sets up an assist for you. What the fuck? He fucking Sparta kicks a dude off a thing. And while the guy's flying through the air, you tag him with bullets and he goes fucking

flying. It's great. Go watch that shit. So that's awesome. It's good stuff. We've got more indie stuff. We've got this project that a lot of people have been sending my way as well. Toho Super Smash Battles.

Yeah, I saw that. That's interesting. It's a thing. Just before we jump on that, I have the summary of hardcore story right here. Henry, a newly resurrected cyborg. Finally. Who must save his wife slash creator from the clutches of a psychotic tyrant with telekinetic powers, ACAN, and his army of mercenaries.

Fighting alongside Henry is Jimmy, whose Henry's only hope to make it through the day. Hardcore takes place over the course of one day in Moscow. One average day in Moscow. The poster is a first person shot of a hand with a geon falling, holding a katana with cyborg underbones penetrating through. All right. Sorry, Super Toho battle. So yeah, they got Toho Super Smash Battles and it's basically a Smash Brothers Toho

game that's being made by... What is Toho? So it's a Smash mod, right? I don't know. This looks like the original thing. Oh, okay. Because the physics and everything about this is totally different. Is it those shooting games?

Yeah, it's the schmups with the little girls in there. What do you mean the physics are different? It's got all wave dashing and everything perfectly. No, but it doesn't move like Smash. Yeah. No, I know. It moves more like I am. It looks like another engine entirely.

He made it on his own. Okay. But basically, yeah. So someone took the Toho characters through them into this kind of Smash Brothers environment and they put it so that you have a lot of bullet hell patterns that you shoot out. Of course. Of course you do. So you kind of have a little bit of a Senko no Ronde type of thing.

It's like a fan one. No, but you said it's called Toho. Yeah. Is it based on the Japanese movie company or is it just... No, that's TOH. No, not Godzilla Toho. The popular Toho. The popular Toho.

The little girls in Schmups Toho. T-O-H. T-O-U. T-O-U. No idea what weird Toho this is. Oh, it's more popular than Godzilla. Yeah. If you say so.

It's got to do with music. It actually is. This I know. It has good music. It has kick ass. We never heard of it. I got it. I had to commission this for a guy.

It's a very Japan like restricted thing. So basically it's a series of... It sounds way less cool. It's this shit. It's a series of Schmups. I don't even know what that looks like. I think you do. Anyway.

It's popular. And so this is a game that... All girls shoot purple. It's being made by From Soy Sauce. And I kind of look at it and I'm like, I play that. I try it. I try it. Exactly.

You know, I have good music. I like to smash and I like to take on a run day. So the idea of like fighting with bullet patterns, shooting at each other. Did you ever play I Amp or any of the fighter Toho games? No. I played Eternal Fighter Zero. Okay. Because I Amp is fucking good.

You should download that shit. What is I Amp? Immaterial and missing power. It's one of the Toho games. Material and missing power. Yeah. I've seen the footage. I've seen the footage.

Yeah. It's really good. Is it as good as BlazBlue, whatever? Sure, whatever. It's really a game, man. Well, nowadays we should be talking about the Under Night Inver. Under Night Invasu. That...

When I was in Japan, every single... Where's the Fates Day Night fighting game? When I was in Japan, every single television... The real one. The real one. Not the full shit one. Not the bad cap home one. The fucking April Fools one from that one.

Well, you went to Japan like two weeks before me. When you went into toy stores and manga stores and shit like that, every single fucking television was running Under Night Inverth. Fucking... I didn't see... No, it was... No, wait, it wasn't Inverth. It was that fucking Climax game with Kirito.

Dengeki Bunko. Yeah, Dengeki Bunko. Yeah, yeah. Japanese game stores are like way more flavor of the month than American one. Boy, are they. So like... Where's my Call of Duty Fighter? Flavor of the Week.

More like... Where is it? Yeah, I play it. The Danganronpa. I pretty sure. The... So diverse. That's how Japanese game stores are.

Charming. Anyway, yeah. Man, how was your piss? Fraughty. That's healthy. It was a two-flusher. I don't know. It looks pretty good.

That's always unsettling to me because it involves a consistency. I'm not super into Toho or anything, so I'm kind of just like, yeah, it looks good. On a strictly mechanical level, I'm interested in seeing what that turns into. It looks like a thing. There's something we didn't talk about last week, and I guess they elaborated the story a little bit more. There was a three-hour stream of MGS5 that went up like two or so weeks ago. Okay.

And in it, a lot of things happened. I fucking bet. But the biggest take-away was the chicken hat. Oh, yeah. The chicken hat. That's whatever. So the chicken hat is a new item in MGS5 that you put on, and it makes the game easier, but you got a chicken hat on your hand.

It's not looking chicken. It's really silly. It's ninja dog mode. Ninja dog mode. I like pink ribbon around your arm. Which, of course, it creates... Why wouldn't it create controversy? I don't know.

I think for a game for MGS, which I have heard from a myriad of different people in my life, that's like, I hate stealth games. They're so hard. I get, I freak out when I laugh. I don't think it's exactly nice to make fun of... There's two... For MGS specifically. There's two angry cats.

There's a fucking topic on Gaff right now saying, I think I've been spotted by every single character. Yeah, I saw that one. Like, some people suck shit at a real stealth game. There's two angry cats. Two angry cats. And one of the camps is... Chickens are brave creatures.

No, you're wrong. Chickens are fucking cowards. Chickens are fucking, fucking cowards. What are the two? What are the two? All right, let's go into our different blue family chicken. Yeah. Jobs is the best.

Jobs is the best. I don't know. I kind of have something for the foot up in the air. Lindsay, this is pretty good. This is pretty good. That is the dumbest fucking game. No, no, no. No, no, no.

It's George's. It's the cuckoo kachaw. Cuckoo kachaw. That's the fucking movie. Oh my god, that's the best joke ever. I totally forgot about that. Everyone does their own chicken. I totally forgot.

Any of you seen a chicken before? Yeah. No, so the one camp is... Yes, here it is. There it is. The funniest thing ever. When you get the web app of all of them together, like back to back, it's just glorious. Anyway, so...

It's the most off-the-rails thing ever. Camp one is... Fuck the idea of making Metal Gear easier. We don't want to have that. That shouldn't be in there. No, I want Dark Souls. This isn't Dark Souls, motherfuckers! The other thing is that this has always had very easy.

Yeah. It's always been there. So is this even easier than ever? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I think it says that it makes every reaction slower, every enemy. There are already...

It does exist as an equivalent to this, and it was the Ape Escape gun in subsistence. Yeah. Well, and in MGS2, there was the easy gun as well. Yeah, easy gun. Yeah. But now it's a hat. But I think the hat does more than just lower the alignment mode. Exactly.

Either... I think there are... I don't know. But there's that camp, then there's the other camp people that are like, I might need to use easy mode. I don't want to look like an Indian when I do it. Yeah, of course. Then don't.

It's like... The second camp's problem is the reason why the first camp should be happy. Yeah. Right. And it's why this is so stupid. It's the stupidest nuclear... It's always the same, dad. Rub it into your face.

Whenever you have a game mode like this that has either some kind of minor mechanical disadvantage or shame, it's a shaming element. Back in those days, I can't beat Contra 4 on normal because that game is fucking hard. Well, then you don't get the last level. Yeah. Why don't I get the last level? Because it would be too fucking hard. You wouldn't be able to beat it.

And just like... And this isn't Dark Souls, there's not people dropping in and out of your fucking game that you have to worry about difficulty stuff. Yeah, it's a good single-player game like what they're talking about. So it's like people saying, oh, I don't want an easy mode, like this doesn't matter to you. Personally, I mean, I don't mind that. Although I also think Bayo did it really well in terms of like... Yeah, yeah.

It's a free hand. You... Well, not that. No, fuck. And referring to the fact that it uses an item slot to have the auto-targeting thing on. And like, you can't do whatever you want because you fucking need that on. But eh. Eh, exactly.

It's fine. I think it's fine. Whatever. I mean, like we were saying, yeah, there's always been an easy mode or what have you in there. The only difference is the visual thing right now. I just like, if I have someone over, like I have two or three people in my head and they're interested in Metal Gear a lot. Yeah.

But if I go, hey, you play it and they're going to... Why is there a chicken on my head? How am I supposed to explain that? Well, the game is making fun of you. Yes! That is exactly what you are supposed to do. My answer would honestly be to anyone who's like saying that is like just play it on normal and just go slower.

That's exactly what I was going to say. Like, it's not like any other Metal Gear. Just play it on normal. You have to go through the fucking premise with the floating machine. Yes. No, just play it on normal. Just play it slow. Here's how I feel about it.

Does the chicken hat show up in cutscenes? Oh, I hope so. Because I hope so. Yeah. Because that makes me want to play through the game with the chicken hat on. It's got it. Oh, yeah. I'm like, yeah, like in MGS.

I'm already a demon. You're a demon. You're a demon. You're a demon. You're a demon. You're a demon. You're a demon. You've got that shit to show up on your Kodak, man.

I want it everywhere. Well, there's no Kodak visual. No Kodak visual. You're right. Yeah, there's no Kodak yet. Well, it's all radio shit so far. Until the time jump happened. Because we're in the past.

But did you piece walk or have one? Yeah. It was radio, yeah. It was all radio. But they had a conversation. Yeah, but that was mostly in those weird cutscenes. It was, you're right. It should make not just you, but every major character have it.

Fucking Eli shows up with it. Everyone's on... Quiet's got it going on. In the chicken mode. When Chico turns in the quiet, the chicken hat gets bigger. Yo, did you see that the actress behind quiet is let's playing now? Yeah. And everyone's super into it.

Because she's gorgeous, I guess. Oh, wow. I didn't look at it, but apparently she's doing some stuff and it's cool. I don't know. What's she playing? Something well known. Shit. I don't remember right now.

Metal Gear? Was it Metal Gear? I think it was maybe Metroid or something. I'm going to just let's play now. Shut up. You didn't know that. Gap's ripping off our style. Is he playing Forsaken?

Is he playing Bujingai or whatever? No. I need to find his stream and just start blasting him with like, let us have Crysis Core. He's kind of... So guys, when we have the big let's play stream to help save the earth from the robots or whatever, we're going to have quiet, dirt, gags. Why dirt and gags? I like it.

That's the trend. Probably Mike Tyson. It's a pretty good lineup. You know, it's going to be everybody. Hey, Durst, tell us more about Evangelion. Oh, man. Why is Ray the best? Go on.

Oh, shut up. Don't even start. Don't even start with that, Durst. Hey, Pat. Calm down. Calm down. I got news about Beam Dog. What about Beam Dog?

Beam Dog has announced that they're working on a third Baldur's Gate title. I know that, but it's not Baldur's Gate 3. But it's not Baldur's Gate 3. It's Baldur's Gate the pre-sequel. It's a pre-sequel. And it's not 1.5. It's after the end of one and before you get kidnapped in the intro of two. And it bridges the gap.

Which didn't need bridging. This is one of the least needed bridges ever. Because the way that intro implies it, that was like four days. That happened. And it implies you beat the game with a certain party that die in the attack. No, I'm kind of nervous about it. Because as far as, I didn't really research it, but as far as I know Beam Dog hasn't made any. You can't tell.

Beam Dog is the distributor? Yeah. Oh, rather, no, you're right. It's something games. Whatever, they're making it. But the worry should come from, if you've played the enhanced edition, the parts that they added, some are good, some are fucking awful. Oh, okay, I didn't know that.

And the one new environment they created for Baldur's Gate 1 is the ugliest looking area in the entire game. That's right. And it's the tutorial area. Oh no. So like being trusted to make an entire game. I don't know, like enhanced editions are, they're real good. They're, I'm still halfway to Baldur's Gate 2. And it kicks ass.

The kind of thing where if they announced they were making like, like Blender's Door, I'd be like, yeah, awesome. Yes. But it's Baldur's Gate. Overhaul games. Overhaul games is the actual. Also, how did they get the fucking rights to this from Bioware? Like that's the part that always blew me away.

Is that this fucking company no one ever heard of. Because it was founded by Bioware. Well, okay, well that'll do it. He knows the people. Yeah. Hey, doctors, can I have the thing? Yeah, whatever, I'm reviewing beer. I burned out so hard on Old Republic that I can't make games anymore.

Yeah. Bioware is a bunch of feel bad stories now. Yeah. Blame Casey Hudson and the Old Republic. Blame that. It's just, but you, it's like, you can walk down to their office. It's right over there. Not a real off.

No, it's not. It's a fucking B.C. That's the fake Bioware. Bioware Montreal is making Mass Effect 4. So maybe Mass Effect 4 will be good. Yep. Speaking of studios. I hope Mass Effect 4 is unveiled as a CRPG.

No, it's not. The idea of Mass Effect 4 is the stupidest shit ever. Like, it's like Halo 4. Like, did you need a 4? Yes, you did. The last one was a huge failure. Telltale presents. Wait, how's that like Halo 4 at all?

Well, no, no, no, that part, that part, like Halo 3 was, but Halo 3 was always, Halo 4 was a sequel that didn't exist, that shouldn't exist. Halo 3's tagline was finish the fight. Yes. And then they made Halo Reach was like, kind of start the fight, I guess. It started a little bit with some other people. Start the fight. And Halo 4 was like, fight wasn't over, he thought it was over, but it's not over.

So yeah, no, I meant like Mass Effect 3. No, the way around it with Mass Effect is that the Mass Effect 1, 2, and 3 were about the reapers, and Mass Effect fucking whatever, you just, hey man, Star Trek's not about the board. I just said it, I just said it. Telltale presents tales of the Mass Effect. Yeah, see there. Exactly.

We truly are the Mass Effects. With the way that Dragon Age 2 was talked about in Inquisition, I have a strong feeling that you're going to talk to somebody who was part of Mass Effect 3's plot, and they are going to refer to that plot as, eh, that's, whoa, that bullshit. Wow. I'm so mad we didn't end Def Jam with. We truly are. We truly are the fight for the rich.

You guys are idiots. Anyway, Zombie Studio shut down. Who? The guys that made Daylight and Black. The people that made it, that gave us Daylight. They made Spec Ops once upon a year. They also made the Saw games, so they did. Those games are really bad.

The Blacklight is so alright, but then Daylight was a complete failure. Did you play Daylight? No, but I watched you watch it, and I listened to you tell me about it extensively, and I read about it, and I watched it. Hey, this is a good procedural horror game. We can blast out an episode of this stuff. So hard. Fuck.

This is hard. The thing about the story that's interesting though is that it doesn't look like they just shut down for standard shut down reasons, but it looks like the founders who've been around for like fucking 20 years or so. The studio's actually been around since 1994. It's super old. Yeah. They're retiring.

Yeah. Well, now that we've made our magnum opus, Daylight, we feel like we've left our mark on the industry. Well, I mean, in all fairness, they did keep a studio running for 20 years. Sure. That's pretty impressive. Well, they made spec ops back in their days. 1994 is a long ass time ago. God, they made the original fucking like bargain bin $5 spec ops.

Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Fuck those guys. It got outpaced really quick by like Ubisoft and shit, but at the time that was like, they did it. They started that genre. Fuck that.

Like, yeah. That game is so bad. Once upon a time, you could have seen that next to Apogee Games. Yeah. Yeah. It's pronounced the Poggy. Yeah, of course. Blacklight is being like salvaged by like a bunch of the team members that are making

their own team called like Builders Box or something and they're taking Blacklight. Yeah. Blacklight's the only thing that. In recent history. I guess the Daylight IP is up for grabs. Hey, let's get Daylight IP. Let's have Chobot write it again. Let's get an IGN.

It'll probably be cheaper than what I spent on that billboard. What's that fucking company that snatched the ball of THQ shit again? Nordic. Nordic. Deed Silver took a lot of it. Those two fucking grabbed it all. Yeah, but the Deed Silver's doing a good job with Saints Row and Nordic is at least saying like we were trying to think of what to do with Dark Sight.

No, that THQ All-Stars game coming any minute now. They're just grabbing the roster. Nordic actually is enough. Exactly. They're building it up, man. You could have fucking Billy Bob Thornton and the Blob and. Yeah, you could have Billy Bob Thornton, baby. The guy that dies in fucking Home Front.

Yeah, yeah. And Goliath from Home Front. Oh, man. And Gabriel from Porno. You can have the Udraw Tablet. Oh! You could have Udraw Tablet from Final Boss. Johnny Gat could be in there.

Johnny Gat. Of course. War. War. It's actually a war. Liam O'Brien. The Alien from Destroy All the Humans. The Blob.

The Blob. Bloodrain. You could have? No, Bloodrain was Majesco. Oh, it's Majesco. You're right. You could have Majesco all the time. All this Majesco still exists.

I really do. Beige. Dude, okay. Back in the Q8 days. When every day we'd get a project from them that was like, we want this in for testing for like 12 hours. We don't even want a full day to just get it out. They just make so many games.

Every year I am amazed that Majesco is soldier on. They have a formula of just pumping out the numbers and making back the scraps to allow them to operate. But they also have some kind of like, like brash style trust fund backing underneath them type shit. That means they have an infinite wealth. Nowadays they've tightened their portfolio a lot though. And they have that new label, the like Midnight City.

Midnight City, which isn't doing well. Midnight City label, which is, it's doing middlingly. And they've got stuff like... Middlingly? That's a huge improvement. Well, it's, you know, it's... No, I am serious. Is that...

No, exactly. Dude, I'm coming in on fucking... Putting out stuff like costume costs. Puppy loves, you know. And, and... Yeah, puppy loves. Cake. That's a project.

Maniac. Yeah, cake. Maniac. You remember. Those are the best projects to test. When you put in a bug and you know that they don't care and you don't care either. No one, no one cares.

There's no satisfaction like... You need to, you need to tick the box next to known shippable on everything you write down. Yeah, you know, you called the project manager. Hey, I found the bug. Did you? Is the response... Did you really?

Are you sure? You're really going to rock the boat here, Daniels? You know, we were heading out and... Exactly. Exactly. You're a sea bug. We were just going out for an early lunch. You were sent in to test Cake Mania, do some quick buy busts.

Don't rock the boat. Don't rock the boat. You'll be done in three weeks. You'll make the, you'll make the compliance guy happy. Yeah. Yeah. You'll get your promotion. It's like, what are you doing?

No, no. Like, hey, I found an A bug. It just, the lead told me to save that. Oh, we got a real, a whistleblower. Yeah. A little whistleblower we got. Working for us. What, you think you're working on the beautiful Joe demo?

Yeah. Hey, be a real shame if you go home and your wife and she's dead. You're typing up the bug, looking over your shoulder. You see the bosses whispering, looking at you. You go on lunch break, come back, your bug's gone. That's how it's like. Oh, Majesco testing, man. Anyways.

Anyways. We've got the most depressing story that we knew was coming. Yeah. Okay, hit me. This is macro level, by the way. Macro. Got it. Wait, it's not platinum shutting down.

We know that one's coming. No. That one is eternally online. That's coming. That's coming every year. And every year, Kamiya makes some kind of devil Twitter bargain that pushes it one year forward. I will make 10,000 terrible tweets this year in order to get financing. Then the devil's like, there's no way you can make 10,000 terrible tweets.

That's crazy. Anyway, anyway, terrible story. Japan's console market is increasing. Yeah. It is at its lowest point in 24 years. Shocker. Yeah, not surprising. And we've known, but it's just now we've got the data that says that 2014's physical

game sales for home consoles and handhelds were half of what they were in 2007. That said, 2007 is like the fucking, you can't reproduce a year like that. Yeah. That's the highest point outside of the PS1 era. Yeah, but half. No, I know. Half is bad. Dude, I follow the numbers.

Yeah, you're crazy about that number. Like every day I look at the numbers. Are we just going to talk like 1998 is not in the room? What the fuck are we doing over here? What is this? Have we not established 1998? But anyway. Final Fantasy VII came out in 97 in Japan.

But the PC version came out in 98? Yeah. I guess one did like what, 30 million units in Japan versus the PS2, which did like 20 million units in Japan? Like there's your contract. It's been a downward curve since fucking 95. And then phones showed up. I don't know.

I think the PS4 is going to end up doing better than the PS3. Absolutely. And we'll see how well that can help things. Well, because it's in a one console market over in Japan. I definitely think it will. I think it'll do worse. 10 million units? Yeah.

Well, how much did the PS3 sell in Japan? 10. What? Yeah. God, it's bad. Yeah. It's been bad for a long time. I don't think it's going to do worse than that.

It's already at like. Maybe you're right. It's already at one and it's been a really dry year for Japanese. Why do you think Kichi Inafune was all like, we got to westernize this shit, guys? Yeah. And he was wrong. He was wrong. But he saw it coming.

But he saw it coming. Because you do need to quote unquote westernize, but not in the sense of making your games westernize. You guys like them and say, you make the same games, but just ship them. Ship them right to us. I think the answer is bomb apple. Yep. Yeah.

That'll solve it. They'll slow it down. It's not. It's too late, man. Because handhelds are suffering now too. They don't want a console. I don't think it's too late. I just don't think it's ever going to be the way it was.

You can't bring. But that's what I mean is that it's not like it's like, oh, this is a slow period and the right product will bring it back. It's like, no, it's been irreparably damaged because of the introduction of that phone working. It wasn't a slam dunk. It was a slow crawl. Yeah.

No, the next thing that brings it back up is going to be surprising for sure. Like this is a cultural thing. It might just be the 4DS. That might do it, but it's hard to say. Do you think whatever does it would do it beyond being a we-esque, like fad? I think it's pot. We can't tell. You know what I mean?

Look at the DS Lite. There's no fad there. That thing just performed amazingly. Yeah. Well, not the Wii. In Japan, it was just the DS Lite. Yeah. DS Lite Crested.

We did it well, too. No, no. Yeah, sure. But in terms of just being this thing that was just unsolvable for a long time. Yeah, it was the kill. But I don't see the re-establishment of a dynasty. I see a single product perhaps spiking. The Nintendo hand lines will survive in Japan, no problem.

Well, it's clearly being eaten into. The phone market eats into the game's market clearly. Yeah. Despite what... No, that's objective. That's objective. Clearly. Despite what Liam and I were just talking about with the fucking Android shit, but the iOS

is clear. But in Japan, it seems to have eaten primarily into the fucking console market. And here, it eats into the handheld market. Because here, the distinction between your... The living room we are sitting in right now and out is clearly not the same distinction that it ever was in Japan. I think there's... I don't want to say there's a chance for it to turn around in the near future.

But the Wii U is going to keep doing what it's doing. I don't think it's going to get significantly worse than what it's doing until it finally does die in a few years. Not that I don't love the Wii U. Evidently, it's not going to take off like a rocket. But I think there's room for the PS4 to do a lot better, especially given that the first year was just no Japanese games coming out. Let's wait until Metal Gear...

I think PS4 will do fine. But I think we're actually going to be looking at a next generation. We're going to be looking at a generation in which we will feel it and we will know this is the last console generation for Japan ever. And this is the last handheld generation for the West. I don't agree with that. I'm saying the next generation. No, you're saying in 15 years.

We will feel that it's the last one. So the 4DS and the PS5? I think it's hard to predict because the gap between the PS1 and the DS was less than that amount of time. It's really hard to predict that. The one thing you can't do is compare our mobile market and use that as a standard for Japan though because theirs has been stewing way longer than ours blew up. Way before we had a big iOS store.

We had chip phones. And they had good phones. Remember the one that Cloud uses and had them children? That shit was fucking shit hot. And that shit was being used to plug in with your arcade machines which are also booming over there. That fucking backwards world decision. That was going for a while so they had a much longer time for cell phones to

establish their dominance. You're both evolving at the same time on different ends of the spectrum. If I could pay for random card stone cards on my phone right now though. I was going to say it's the same as it is in the West where parents are just giving so much to their kids. But you're already talking about it. I've already got the device. I don't need to buy a dedicated handheld. You see that picture of Miyamoto standing next to the Puzzles and Dragons guys?

Yeah. That's a sign of that. Puzzle and Dragons is a legit good game. Certainly but it's like it's Mario and Corporation on mobile. The voice of Miyamoto is actually what Miyamoto is thinking. Because the Pokemon company went off and just said fuck it. We're doing our own thing on mobiles. And Nintendo can't stop them.

The fucking flip side to this news I was just scrolling through and I realized that console sales worldwide are astoundingly high. But that's why this is so weird. Because it becomes more and more of a does the Japanese studio just migrate entirely? PS4 just announced 18.5 million fucking units of the hardware sold. Sold. Yeah it's bananas. Right.

That's on track to beat the fucking PS2. That's absurd. And that part of that's releasing in more regions. Gotta be. Part of that is just Europe in general. I was going to say that also in previous generations. It doesn't take into account obviously the price drops on the PS2 where it got to like fucking $150. Yeah.

Well I'm sure we'll get there eventually. No. No $150. Eventually. Dude the PS3 is still $250. The Xbox 360 is still. It's true. Like you got a point.

It's not going to happen. We're not going to get that cheap. $122 million. Maybe. That could happen. Maybe. I'm wondering if we're going to see more like Koji Pro West style things open up in terms of just like we're still going to make these Japanese games but we'll just make them

in America. I don't know what's coming is the rise of Brazil and China. I was going to say like Koji Pro and stuff like their games are fairly globalized. Like all the large companies Capcom, Square Enix, Konami, etc. Like their big brands are super globalized. Did you watch the Platinum Happy New Year video? Absolutely. Okay.

So every time there's like a group shot. I do this thing and it just whatever. You Photoshop yourself in and it was actually there. Of course. After I'm done with that I take a look and I go all right we've got JP Kellams. How many of the foreigners are there? And every time. It increases.

So we see more and increases. Every time and in the Christmas video we saw like maybe seven. You know like there's a bet huge. That's a lot. Yeah. Back in the day all you needed was one Ben Judd to ruin your company. Slash save biotic command down. Hey Ben Judd got things in DMC 3 to be way better for the North American release.

And Rearmed exists because of him. Yeah but he also made that huge financial failure. One enormous colossal critical and financial bomb backed by KG that is still all his fault. Just not undo all of the good work. Just almost all of it. Almost all of it. Anyway. He's a good translator.

He did. He did as well. No but yeah that's just I'm just weirded out by the fact that like the numbers are growing everywhere. Well because last generation was so rough and like weird in Japan and like this is like kind of a personal thing like personal opinion but like Microsoft snatched up a lot of the bigger core JRPGs early in the gen which has gone nowhere for them and they basically squandered.

Didn't help. Didn't help. They basically squandered that in Japan. The Blue Dragon lost obviously shit. As far as the Sony side like Sony's first party stuff as far as Japan goes was exceptionally weak for the beginning of last gen. And FF13 obviously didn't take off like then that was only the whole HD generation was just tougher.

Exactly and it was only really like Resident Evil 5 and MGS4 that were the big brands that really like held it up exactly and like the PS3 just didn't take off for a multitude of reasons. Yeah. And it's too little. 599 US dollars fucking didn't help. Well and too little too late the PS3 only sold like 10 million units in Japan or something like that.

So it's like. Dire. Like it got damaged a lot by last gen. Maybe ASP still the victor. Yeah. But then yeah and then Microsoft like they didn't step out but their console selling unfortunately pathetically low in Japan. Believe.

They officially released the Xbox one in fucking Japan. I can't. No you got it. You got to try but it was it seems like it's all for nothing. But yeah. You have a new generation. You always figure maybe this one will be different. It really feels.

We don't and we could have been successful. They only sell the Microsoft stores right. Yeah. No I don't. Wasn't that the case. I read something like that. I don't think it was a limited distribution. But the way that you know the way that you guys phrase it like well they gotta yeah like

makes it's like it's not because they're they think they're going to sell units. It's because they got to. I don't know. It's not a charity. It's pride. It's literally like. It's kind of admitting defeat. Microsoft you know they got to bring back Jamsey.

That's what they that's what. You don't remember Jamsey the Japanese guy that had the Microsoft Xbox logo shaved into his head. No. He was Microsoft's ambassador for the Xbox. He was Peter Moore for the East. Yeah. I thought that was Blinks.

It was Jamsey man. You don't remember. Blinks. Get out of here. Get out. I thought it was that mouse game sneakers. Hey you know what's cool. No.

Beyo got the. Beyo's cool. Accessible game of 2014 award. What? From Abel Gamers. The group that basically does gaming for people that are disabled and stuff like that. I thought you meant it's gameplay is the most accessible. No.

No. But that's the thing is it was just because I saw this and I was like wait what? And I went to read into it and it's because of. Easy automatic isn't just for people to suck at character action. It's for people that actually need those touch controls. Yeah. Exactly. And I won the award Matt because it's the deepest and most accessible.

Like it's not just the most accessible. Yeah. It's the combination of. Yeah. It's a combination of the fact that like it manages to still be Beyo. But they had this mode in there. And it kind of made me think because I'm like the whole time I was like fuck these touch controls.

But as I but I never really considered like. When we're old and our hands are crinkled into curled claws from arthritis. I'm a go back to Beyo. And the brain control devices aren't fully accurate yet. It's just low. Like we're going to appreciate those touch controls. We're going to need to do some throwback videos. I just I just thought like you imagine in Nintendo's next system is like a brain control

thing with your head. Yeah. But just like waggle instead it's just think of anything. Oh. Think of something. Think of anything. Exactly. Oh.

You do it and he's swinging his sword thinking. He can improve your quality of life. Jesus Christ. Hey. Do you have that fucking weird shit with the sharp screens for Nintendo's handheld? The donuts? The fucking donut shit? What the hell is that?

What's going on? Nintendo. This part is is legit where Nintendo's getting their screens for their next handheld from sharp. But apparently they want a donut shape. With a hole in the middle. With a hole in the middle. Put your dick in.

These special screens can be. It's a leak? Not a leak. No. It's an interview thing. It's some kind of fucking business shit that hit public. Fuck. And it wasn't games genre.

This particular kind of screen it's these Panasonic or these fucking sharp screens. You can curve them or bend them in whatever goofy shape you want. Yeah. But apparently Nintendo wants a donut. They want a circle screen with a hole in the middle. It's pretty neat. Fuck. It's pretty neat.

And this comes legit. So either this is not legit or what the fuck. I hope it means they bought DJ Max. Like the start buttons in the middle and the top screen is the upper half and the bottom screen is the lower half and the middle. I think if they're going to go with a circle like they're not going to do top bottom screen split. There's a track ball in the middle.

Yeah. Good job emulating this. Could you imagine that the fucking war they're fighting to prevent emulation? Oh man. Like we thought we nailed it with double screens. And then people figured it out. Figured it out. Figured this shit out.

Donut format motherfucker. And you flip the screen over and there's a screen on the other side. Like the fucking file format is dot fuck you. I was just saying like digital foundry tried to tell us what resolution this was. But couldn't figure it out. And the only game it can play is Oden Spear. And it's the only one that would run. The entire system is built to render only voxels.

We have to physically count the pixels. Of course it's probably just some down thing they're fucking around with when they notice like this is stupid. And no, no, what this is probably is for a handheld but it's not their gaming handheld. It's probably their quality of life. Or whatever machine it is. Cause it goes around your wrist. Or it just makes you want to eat donuts.

Or it's a super screen condom. I think that'll be more for like a bedside clock style. Mario clock. Hit the button to make the thing shut out. So yeah, Nintendo makes donuts. They're also making a really cool skull kid figure for Majora's Mask 3D Specialization. I don't know. It looks kind of cheap to me.

It looks like an Amoeba. Dude, the Ganondorf figure was so shitty. I mean, it looks bigger than the Ganondorf figure. Yeah. Okay, the Ganondorf figure was not as good as I wanted it to be. I still want this. I gave it away. But did you get the Ganondorf figure unbroken?

Yeah, I got one unbroken. The fact that it could show up broken is a sign of how cheap it is. Exactly. Cause guess which other figures exhibited that. See Viper Ryu and Chris Redfield. Of course. Who just shatter when you look at them. Okay, and even when they're not broken, they're still real shit.

I don't think there's any figures that show up broken. So did you manage to get one of them? No. Dude, it's sold out everywhere. The Majora's Mask 3D. I know someone that got one. Good, good. But yeah, it was super rare.

Cause a friend of mine asked me, hey, if you fucking find anyone and I want one. I mean, I agree. I'm getting if it was Fierce Deity Link. I had three separate guys be like, damn it, it's sold out. Fuck this shit to me. It's gone. It went up and on Amazon.ca it sold out within like four hours. Like it's gone.

When is the goddamn Nintendo Direct that announces that game and the 3DS and the monster? When is it happening? Any seconds from now. Literally any seconds from now. Monster Hunters, I don't like March, so whatever. Maybe you could be out next week though. Oh, maybe. Well, whatever.

Imagine, imagine. That's even better. Then I can stop playing Hearthstone. Just play Monster Hunter. No, I did all of it. I was playing Monster Hunter 4G by the way. It's really good. I played it a whole bunch.

You did all of it. I got way further than you got in the tutorial. Of course. You get stuck? No, I got to the town and then it's like, go talk to the guy. I'm like, I don't. Yeah. I opened your save file cause I was just borrowing it initially and I was like, I'll pack up.

I'm stuck here. You did all of it. Yet there's people that are laughing at your paltry 200 hours. Well, you played one floor of the game. Exactly. No, it's to beat Monster Hunter. You have to get every G rank set. That's what those people think.

200 hours just to decide whether or not you like it. The 15 hours just to decide whether or not you like it. My mentality with hunting game completion is like if there's an ending, then that's it. If there's a clear set objective, like getting zero years, then that's it. Or if there's a check mark next to each mission, then that's it. I fought every monster. That's it. As far as I'm concerned, I fought every monster and I made like a dozen G rank sets.

Yeah. So I'm done. I did all the missions. I didn't want to grind Elatrion. I didn't want to grind Fatalis. I am never going to be caught dead collecting sets. That is bullshit. I like it.

I don't like it. I'm really happy that some people talk to Ken Lobb this week. Clob. Because that allows me to introduce the new podcast segment, Clobber in Time. Oh, that's good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You've been sitting around for like days.

Just waiting. Nah, he thought of that. Did we get to talk about Phantom Dust yet? He mentions it, I believe. Not by name, but in vague reference because the quote is, so will there ever be another banjo, Viva, Blascor, or Battletoads? Yeah, someday. And I think the reason you see things like Battletoads Revived is because we know there's

value, so we renewed the trademark. And you don't renew the trademark unless you have some vague intention to do something with it. Not necessarily. Well, actually, they did use the Battletoads trademark and they released costumes for Connect Sports and Champions or whatever. That's true. Not to mention nuts and bolts.

That's your Battletoads game. But, yes, Blascor has been constantly re-upped. But, well, to give that a little more legitness, I think Robin Beanlin, who works for Rare, 2015 will be one of the biggest years for Rare ever. We're going to put out two Connect Sports games. Which probably means, yeah, it's going to be one game. Because that's the biggest year Rare has ever had. But if it's something, if it's a game, a physical game that you can download and not using their

IPs in stupid ways like Battletoads costumes for Minecraft or whatever. First going to be Battletoads costumes and killer instinct. Think about this. Just downloadable new Blascor. Just HD and better. Just episodic Banjo-Kazooie. Just make a game, call it Banjo. Make another game, call it Kazooie.

Make it downloadable and you don't spend a lot of money on it. We're releasing a conquer free-to-play card game on the Microsoft Windows Found Store only. Because you know what Blascor would be these days? Blascor would be free to play by the levels later. Buy the levels. I think Blascor would be a rogue-like. That would be awesome. That would be awesome if there was.

That's what I think Blascor would be. But I feel like that's not what we'd get. I feel like you'd get a tractor for free, but you're mech you've got to pay for. From Microsoft I don't think so. You've got ten levels or so, but I think expecting anything is absurd. Why do you expect Monster Hunter 4 to be good? Yeah. Because it is.

Except for the G-Ranks all suck apparently. What? Really? Yeah, they kill you in one shot. Anyway. Viva Pignata is something I haven't heard from in a long time. Well, there's a reason. The last one was a huge flop. The first one people loved.

I remember James Small and the crew, back in the day, spending a lot of time on it. Yeah, but I don't think it's an IP that they would bring back. It's got nothing. What IP is it? I don't know. Viva Pignata. That haven't cares. It had.

It had. He got Horstatios. That was media. That's pretty good. Microsoft, it irks me because I look at their library of IPs and I think it's super perfect for a handheld game console. Oh, just if they were to. Their library of IPs.

You want the Microsoft X. It has to have X in it, right? I want all their V-brands on my X. X-Boy. X-Boy. X-Boy. Yeah, exactly. One letter off.

Bring it up, bring in the X-Boy over. That's it. That's it. That's it. The problem is that save for killer angstip and maybe perfect Darwin gets like. No, no, no. Total extreme action machine. Yeah.

Save for these two franchises. You know where it's at. None of the other ones from Rare like make it mean even think that Microsoft or even Sony would publish any of them because it's like they're either outdated like Battletoads or just they don't have any like. As much appeal anymore. Yeah. I think like.

Because they're all Nintendo franchises. I think if you like really super like renovated them in the same way that K.I. got a facelift, you could do stuff with the Battletoads. The tippy what? Another beat them up? I think if what you made better with Battletoads you'd have a thing. Scalebound? You know what has scales?

Not amphibians, but close. Wow. That's compelling. I think you're onto something there. Scalebound more like. It would have to be. Battletoads. Battletoads.

It would have to be the K.I. treatment. Yeah. Yeah. As opposed to the. Did you hand-high-five yourself? No, I clapped. He clapped. Yeah.

Which is a self-high-five. Okay. And then a high-five. Self-high-five. Because I'm saying it would have to be a K.I. treatment not a Splatterhouse treatment. Yeah. A Splatterhouse as much as we, you know, saw what that was. No, but that's different because it's a fighting game versus a beat them up and then you take

Battletoads which is a beat them up and it's like, yeah, you just said Platinum, but it's like, no, Microsoft doesn't have two Platinum titles and there's no one else that can make a character action game. What about Capcom? What about Ninja Theory? Anyway, like I said, there's no one that can make a competent character action game. Battletoads the JRPG. What if?

Oh, I'd buy that. What if? You say what? Done. Yeah. Wait, what did you say? Battletoads the JRPG. I thought you were going to say, I thought you were going to say Jet Force Gemini.

What if it was Battletoad Hunter, right? Oh, God. Okay. All right. And you played as. You're getting me. You're getting me. It was just like a temporary ramp.

The weapons are a giant Ramp. Like a giant ram and like a giant rat and like a queen thing and you made my armor out of them and the final boss was that horrible toad with the frogs that shoot out of its back and you get the cool bikes to ride around that right so we want the frog death. No, me, no. Meanwhile, we went in the real world. Okay. I was going to say Michael Bay's understudy makes a movie and then they make a shitty

beat them up. See, here's the thing. No, I was going to say you take Battletoads and you just Mega Man 9 it, you actually do the reverse. Oh, yeah. And here's why I'm dogged around like this because I feel that the thing I'm describing has just as much likelihood as existing as any of the shit that you're describing because there will be no Battletoads game.

And if there is, awesome. Oh, here's one that they do have. The cynicism is the best. If you super, super renovated it and like really gave it a hell of a facelift, cameo could be a thing. It was a thing. It was a thing. Make it a realistic sequel and they cancel it because of how fucking good that is.

Why does Microsoft do this? They build up IPs and then they drop them. Well, specifically for Rarity. Unless they're the Halo or the Gears of War. So the ones that make money. And then their deal with Gears of War fucked Gears of War up because they had to make judgment and judgment was bad. Oh, people, people can fly that judgment.

Yeah. Well, whatever. Yeah. Because Epic didn't want to do it. Now they got to make three more. Because Epic was too good at doing nothing. Oh, what about Brad by the Ghoulies? Yeah.

How about you sell us Master Chief again and it work? Yeah. How about that? How does that? Okay. There's all, all these fucking broken games, right? I feel like Master Chief is a million times worse because that's a first party game with their, that's Mario Galaxy coming out with crippling bugs all over.

It was, it was the network issues. That was what it was, right? Like every, every part of that game is touched by poison. I thought the single player was fine. No. No, not even. It's mostly fine, but it's still got bullshit all over it. Just in one of the games or?

Halo 4 has framerate shit and Halo 2 isn't nearly as good of a. Halo 4 has framerate shit? Yeah. Update is the first one. I don't know how to say for kind of. And yeah, no, it's just like that. And then the matchmaking for the thing that was just supposed to get it just doesn't work and it still doesn't work.

Did, did Mr. Clob have anything else to say? No, but I. Stop calling me Clob. But we can move on to related news and let's talk about the most extreme killer, instinct character ever. Omen of Gargoss. Motherfucking Keats Troll. I hold game on lock.

Keats Troll game is like next level at this point. I look like a dumb ghost. One particular part of me. I thought fucking Eskil back in the day with his dances, with wolves, whatever we wanted news about Street Fighter, he fucking weave and fucking bob around it. But now Keats and the way he presented this character, step by step, waiting to see the reaction. The arm and the wing being followed up by a weird ghost man.

Oh my god. Okay, so Omen. So that being said, I just want to say, like if you saw Max's video, I'm straight up disappointed with the character from a physical, like. I think he looks super shitty. I think Omen is. Max just basically said, why doesn't he have the wings up all the time? Because he looked way better.

He looked way better. Yeah. Now they did say that they're working on the character and he has accessories. He's going to take off his mask because his mask is also a huge problem. I think it looks stupid. I think, well, basically it reminds me of the bad guy from Shadow Planets. Yeah. Yeah.

Those guys from Shadow Planets, you're totally right. With the floating mask. War Planets. War Planets. Sorry. War Planets. Shadow Raiders. Exactly.

Yeah. You know, the Valk, they had the mask, they had the ethereal body and then the wings would sprout. Oh my god. I haven't seen him yet. This just like looks like, oh my god, we have no artists. So. We have no artists.

He's an effects character and apparently the effects aren't done. Yeah, it's not. So I'm thinking, yeah, yeah, that's that's what it is. But they're showing off the gameplay. But his gameplay is completely different though. That's a different fucking story. This is the epitome of bonus character because aesthetic wise, aesthetic wise, they're only going all out.

They're not going to spend the money they would spend on a proper release character. So that's why we're kind of seeing this. And like mechanics wise, it's just fucking shenanigans. I don't think those characters should exist. You know, you're not going to put the time and the money because I think the uneven roster looks like, I think an uneven roster looks bad. All those games that Morgan should not be in Marvel versus Capcom 2. Fukuwa.

Which one's that? Skullgirl. Skullgirl. Skullgirl. Yeah, but she looks as good as the other characters. She doesn't, she's not a fucking eyesore like Morgan is and like Omen currently is. I don't think Fukuwa looks as good. I think she looks like trash too.

But I don't think they should not be in the game. I think it's fine. I just, we'll wait to see what the finished Omen looks like of course, but I know that he's supposed to be a bonus character. So they're like, we're not dedicating the full fucking resources to it. I kind of agree with Pat though, we're like, at the end of the day, I feel like it kind of cheapens the product when I look at it. It's a bonus character.

It isn't costing. I don't know. I'm aware of that. I don't know. It's just a sentiment where I look at it and like, there's just a blemish on it and I'm like. I mean Shadow Jago, Shadow Jago original as the bonus costume. He was nothing.

He was a skin. There's just a skin. Yeah. This is more significant than Shadow Jago is. It's more significant than a skin, but I still think like gameplay wise, it's interesting enough that it warrants existing. 11 different projectiles that all come out randomly. Hey, do you know that bullshit that Rose does?

Wow. That's what all this Rose's shit to a new level. To a whole new level, right? So you've got this character that has, uh... I also hate this kind of character, so maybe. But yeah, it's for a certain type of player and Keats explains that type of character. I don't think those people should play fighting games. Yeah, we'll fucking do that.

Like they should play that smoke toho bullshit that you were talking about earlier. You've got this guy that shoots fireballs out and you cannot control what type of fireball you're going to get. What? It applies in a random pattern. Of 11. There's 11 choices and like one is like a tracker, one is a drop to the ground, one is a spiral through the air and back to you.

One is a dud that hits nothing. Yeah, one is slow. One is another, a sign pattern, like you know, like the mathematical sign. Another one that drop behind you and stay there, then accelerate forward by themselves. Is there one that's like reused Charged Hadoken from Marvel 3? No. Okay, like an instant? No.

There's one that just spirals around you, like, you know, so you get one of 11, right? That's awesome. Uh, and then the charged up versions of the different strength, uh, versions of the fireball put out two or three on screen at a time, going in a, a pattern that you don't know. Could they all do the same thing or no? No, they do three different things. Oh my God, that's awesome. And you don't know what you're going to get and you have to react to that.

Then you can put five out somehow and you can buff them with shadow to make them have extra durability or you can have them do rose style, like they surround you. Oh my God. That's awesome. Uh, so it is a character that has like, you've got that and you've got, uh, an air dash with the wings and, uh, a move that you get air balls. Can you get the air balls? No.

No. It's just that basically makes you, uh, temporarily turn into mist and you move in a given direction for like about a half of one second. You have invincibility. And it uses one stalk of shadow and then you recover. So you can punish it. All it is is for maneuverability. It's just for mix ups type of thing.

So this guy, this character is basically a, I don't know what I'm going to get. So I'm going to roll it. I'm going to roll the dice and then react to it. So if you, if your fireball says go, then you're going off and if you're set up says defense, then you're going to say defense, you don't know what you're doing. He has other specials that aren't just all those fireballs. He has a slide to do an opener and he's got like a, like a lightning legs. Yeah.

Lightning legs set up. So he's got other stuff, but it's mainly about that fireball, adapt or not get type of thing. That's pretty cool. Now the main thing with him, of course, is he's got three shadow meters, which is more than anyone else in the game. All of these moves that all of his enders are battery enders. So they build up his meter.

Right. He can again reinforce the fireballs and whatever. All of the moves do shit damage. Yeah. He doesn't do a lot of damage. They really, they take a while to do anything. In fact, it looked like landing one fireball was like, it was like, it was like not a chip, but it was like getting hit by like a jab tie, you know what I mean?

But when you get those three levels up and you decide, if you decide not to spend them, which you should, because there's a lot of good things you can do, you've get, you got the really fucking go for bro. It's just X factor. It's just dig. It's a demon. Oh, okay. It's a ragey, essential grab really fast startup.

It grabs you. No, it's slow startup. It's not, it's medium startup, medium startup. There's no hit spark on it, of course, sorry, a slow down spark, but grabs you, giant pillar of energy, drops your health, potential damage down to zero. So all you have is gray health. Oh, and then he's got to get the kill. He's got to hit you with something.

Now, but it's not street fighter rules where hitting you makes the health drop down. Yeah. It's, you have to do an ender. Yeah. He has to touch you, get a combo off, and end it. And you can break it. You can still break him and stop it after the touch. But if you avoid him, then your gray health, well, this is a system wide adjustment now

that gray health recovers very slowly. Then the more time it recovers faster and faster and faster. No, no, no, they said this is unique for this one. I thought they said this is a system wide change. System wide, it moves back at the same length, right? But in this case, it's slow and then really slow or fast. So it gives you a chance to get your ender in. Yeah.

So you can actually, like, you get hit with this and then you can just back the fuck up and like run. But you got to stay defensive for like six or seven seconds. The move I believe is called demonic despair. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So fucking just the most extreme thing ever. It sounds pretty fun.

If this was the good old days, this would be the character that I made sure to not unlock. So when people came over, they would not be able to play as gone. Like now to me, this reads like little Max Cale or or or or no, it would be like, it would be like back in the really good old days where it's like, you don't have this character so you can't play online against people that have him. Oh, darn. Did you hear the snippet of his music? No, it's Jago's theme, the underlying parts, but the the the lyrics done in like whatever

language Tibetan, it's now screened by a heavy metal singer. It's fucking sick, but in the background, you can hear just the women chanting to support it. It's it's pretty cool, but but also the characters so infinites that they didn't have his ultra ready. They didn't have the stage ready. So I'm really disappointed with how he looks. I think he looks so barren and sort of like a test character.

Yeah. I hope they do something. It looks like you should be doing a T pose. The other reason why this is being shown right now, too, they said that they were going to do a character a month and they realized that they're blowing their wad and they were not spending the time they needed to make the real characters as good as they should be. Yeah, so this was a dive kick.

So this was a like filler month. Hope Johnny Gabb gets in. Show off this bonus character because they had this much progress on him so that they could continue to work on broccoli man. They said that they said that they said ghost girl. Well, ghost girl broccoli man or golem golem and sender, you know, so like there is straight up like we need some time to really get the for is a unique like middle of the road like middle of the road map bonus character.

I'm like, I guess that's fine. If he was even less nothing, like if he was just shadow Jago with like three new moves, I'd be like, ah, it's kind of horseshit. But even though I'm not happy with how he looks physically, I'm like, at least his gameplay is crazy. Yeah. Yeah. No, exactly.

No, that's that's that's what I'm interested in. I want to see. I hope he turns out to be like more of a thing because it's it's definitely a fucking gimmick train hard rolling and rolling into midnight. But it seems to be reveling in it because he loves that type of shit. Right. Yeah. And it's the type of shit where you know that there's a way to beat it and you know

that you can beat it. But for the first couple of weeks, it's fucking unbelievable. It is a nightmare for the first couple of weeks. And as a Blanka player, gimmicks is your brother's life. As long as you go to. It's like playing somebody in Hearthstone with that weird goblin synergy. She's not addicted though. I was, dude, I was saying, I was saying this.

It's too early to be addicted. I was saying this to Shirithi and Edmaw, like when we were watching the Canada Cup, it's like six years later, they're not gimmicks anymore. No. Everyone knows everything about Blanka. They've transcended gimmick and turned into techies. It's just predictable, garb shenanigans and we just have to, oh, he's doing that stupid back and forth.

Okay. I know that one's coming now. Which stupid thing is he going to do now? Yeah. But you know exactly what they are. Of course. Yeah. So fucking Omen.

Omen is ridiculous. It's pretty neat. It also made some slight adjustments to some other characters like Fulvor and J.O. Did they fix that menu bug yet? Which one? Where you make it super fucking lag with two players. Like we looked at, it's a bit improved in the last version, but I don't know. I didn't really talk about it.

I don't think it's a priority issue. Right now, no. And then the last story I'm going to talk about is Man Hate Buys Rosalina Amiibos in bulk so that you can't have them. This guy has issues. This man's name must be John. No Johns. I wonder.

I wonder. He, there's a dude that hates Rosalina so much. Do you guys know what a hater is? Because you're about to find out what a hater is. He pre-ordered hundreds of Rosalina Amiibos. Using separate addresses. Amiibos. Is this the same guy that created Sonic 2 and then maced people and gave stuff to Sonic

2? No, that's a different person. No, not that guy. Because it sounds like the same type of guy. This and this fucking dude, and he wants, no he wants everyone who likes her to not have access to her. I hate this character. I don't want people to enjoy her.

I hate that Nintendo is pushing this character so I'm going to reward them massively with dollars. Your inclusion in all the recent Nintendo titles is an affront and disgusting. I need to spend my money to show my interest. And you know who else is an affront? Zero Suit Samus and Palutena and like half of the female Rosalina Amiibos. Just all of the modern female Rosalina Amiibos. He has very offensive, very childish names for each of them.

Yeah, really? Oh, like Zero Suit Cunt. Wow. Like just really like... That doesn't even... You read his posts specifically? Oh, totally. Yeah, okay.

This guy actually has issues though. Yeah. Like... Hey, I'm a jackass and I have money to... But he also has money. And that's... No, I don't mean he's just an asshole though. Like he needs help.

Because like... He must like tell it as well. Oh, really? What? No, that's why I'm saying... He's a known human. He's not just an ass. Oh, okay.

He is in a similar way... I'm not sure exactly, but similarly to Mr. Kristen Western Chandler, he does have issues. Okay, yeah. Who's that? And there's... He's been in Samaju. Oh, Samaju. Yeah, that's what I said.

Clearly there's a hoarding aspect to this also. Where I need all of the things. Regardless, it is mental illness. Ah. Not just an ass. Now it's not any fun. It's probably... It's like he probably has an actual waifu.

Yeah. Like for real, real stuff. Yeah, probably Toad or... Yeah, probably Toad. Toadette. The ungendered Toadette. Yeah, well confirmed, right? Fucking Nintendo came back on us like that.

Of course they did. Did you see that? No. What happened? It's like Toads are genderless, but they take on gendered characteristics. See, there's the loophole. Fuck you, they take... Toads reproduce via cutting their foot off and throwing it on the floor.

And throwing a new Toad. There's no Toad sex going on. Oh, also, before I forget, yeah, there's... What? Where is this going? It was about the time he cut off his fight. Immortals, WWE Immortals. Yeah, what about it?

So you were talking about it, iOS and Android. WWE Immortals finally has... That's made by Netherrealm. Yeah. Finally has some gameplay. And it seems like it's just injustice. Because there's gameplay of Triple H doing his super move. Yeah.

And he combos up you with his sledge. And then from the air, he grabs you into like a Dragon Ball Z style pedigree. Great. So all I saw was the artwork for this. Yeah. And I saw like all the super new... That's Triple H's hair, though. He's wearing...

He's the Viking Triple H with the Conan thing. But he has long hair. Does it look bad? The problem is that this is... It looks like this game is two point... It's like injustice. So you can only see him from so far. Yeah, until the game actually...

Has to look bad. Has the water spit. No water spit. I know, I know, I know. The gameplay is only a super moves for him and the Bella twins. So here's what I wonder. Because I saw... All I saw was the artwork.

I didn't watch the gameplay. And like as I went down and I was like, oh, some of these are really cool ideas for like turning, you know, progresslers into... Like rocks, really cool. And Sheamus is actually cool. Characters. Is this what happened to that game we never got?

Yeah, that game that we never got, which we saw concept art of was just... McMahon the Mech. Yeah, McMahon the Mech and was Power Stone. Like I saw gameplay of it. Is this what it turned into? No, the problem is that we... I don't think it is.

I think this is straight up, WWE contacted Warner Brothers and just said, what do you got? These are different teams too. These are different teams. I don't think they interact with you. Because I feel like...

It's close though. I know what you mean. But they're... Well, the idea of reimagined superstars, right? As like comic book type. But even more so than all stars. All stars was like... No, not all stars.

They blow up their proportions. No, no, no, I said superstars. But now this is turning into gods, I would say this one. But gods, sure. But like, I'm surprised that there's no... If they have fucking team ups with Scooby-Doo, why don't they have like little cartoon animations

of like this shit, you know? But this is the first game... With lightning powers, like you can't see him. He's ephemal. This is the first gameplay we've seen of the game. These got uploaded two days ago. This game comes out on the 15th. So they went from it didn't exist to it's out.

So hopefully it's good. But right now it's only iOS and Android. I hope it's good. And then put it on something with a control scheme. That is good. Well, does you have an Android phone? Yeah, but I want to play on it. But I mean, you want to download it and like look at it?

Yeah, look at it. But I'd rather play a... Don't touch it. Don't touch it. Does it play in portrait mode? We don't know. Fuck. The only gameplay of this thing running is two super moves. And it doesn't even show like the fighting.

It just goes straight into the end of the game. I bet it's only that. You know what? I bet it's only that too. I bet it's basically WWE Super Card, but with super moves. While you're at it, download the new Princess Bride game. There's a Princess Bride. Yeah, I saw that.

It's mini games, I think. Bunch of mini games. Oh, don't do this to my Princess Bride. Do you love Princess Bride as much as I love Princess Bride? Every one loves Princess Bride as much as everyone loves. I don't know, because you don't talk about it as much as everyone loves. You don't need to talk about it. I was just making sure.

I don't know. Yeah. Fuck. Everyone loves Princess Bride. All right, let's take some letters. It's fucking awesome. Letter time. It's letter time, guys.

Oh my God. You want to email us about how awesome Princess Bride is? You don't need to, because you don't fucking know. We already know. We know. But if you want to send us a different email, that's... You send it to superbestfriendcast at gmail.com. Wait, sorry.

I was listening to J-POP. What? J-POP? What was that? Not K-POP. What was the email? K-POP. Anyway, that's super bestfriendcast at gmail.com.

Oh, okay. I got it now. You want to ask us about J-POP or K-POP? They're fucking asking us. Girls' Generation is great. Yeah, they kicked that girl out. What's up with that? Did they?

Yeah, they kicked one of them out. You guys are nerds. Not Sunny. I think it was Sunny. No. Do you have any emails from 66? No, we're talking about Girls' Generation. That's the Korean one with the seven chicks with the white shorts.

That's not enough. Basically, the Korean female slip knot. No, that's not enough. I need 48 members. 48 members? Minimum. Okay, so the first one's coming in from Bob and it's really simple. It's just a, hey guys, in Super Mario RPG, get the lazy shell.

Keep that in mind. It's Mario's best shell. I concur. Because a lot of that LP is recorded already. It's gonna be a little while before we catch on to very basic tips. Some people already noticed. You said in the first episode that you just started playing Baldur's Gate. Oh god, did you not do the timed inputs or some shit like that?

No, it's just optimal leveliness of the word. So it might be a little while before Liam presses all the buttons on the controller. No, because I pressed them all at the beginning. At the beginning. And he didn't notice the difference. Yeah, because we're talking so much. Remember, the Evil Within playthrough went up to part 30. I think part 25, we learned that the crossbow is good.

That's usually how that's playing work. Well, I'm gonna tack on to this and I'll tell you guys, if you get the chance, get the lazy shell. Get the star egg. Star egg. And fight Q-licks, because that's badass. We got the thing to help you open the door to fight Q-licks. All right. The thing that was expensive.

All right. It was $500. That's all I gotta say about it. Also, apparently you can look at what the bonuses are when you level up. And every level up, there's one of the choices is better than the other two. Fuck off. Yup. That's garbage.

Yup. So we should pay attention to that next time. Guess so. Richard. Hey, dick. Damn. Says, early character designs that you liked more than the final. This is a fucking neocalf topic.

This was up four days ago. There you go. Sure. What was this email sent to you? 21 hours ago. Oh, okay. Rufus. Rufus was King Cobra.

Yup. Rufus. Yup. That's the obvious one. Can that be argued that it's a different character design, though? But not. Why? It was supposed to be his move, so, you know.

I don't know. I have trouble thinking. I have trouble thinking. It's a jury. What? No jury. Oh, Abel. Abel.

Girl Abel. Yeah. Better than right here. Proto Abel. Girl Abel. And fucking MMA jury. The jury's already awesome. Yeah.

But the one that they were going to go for is even better. There's a lot of street form. And that's strong because Jolene is great. Oh. I don't remember what it used to be called, but Fuse. Overstrike. Overstrike. Those weren't too different, but yeah.

They were better. Not overcharged. Not overwatch. They're more different than you might remember, actually. Don't get sick, Liam. I'm trying to sick last week. I'm trying to not sick, but there's another sneeze coming. I'm fighting.

Try that. Try that. Nice. Silas says... Silas, I like that. I just got a journey to him. He just played the critically acclaimed mafia game for PC. Didn't expect the PS2 port to be as bad as it is.

Have you ever played a bad port of a good game? Borderlands 2. I didn't. I just didn't really like it. Okay, so this is something that I mentioned in Mario RPG that people picked up on, but because of the timeline of years, it's actually easy to misunderstand. When I talk about the super fucked up PC version of FF7, I'm not talking about the game that came out like six months ago.

Yeah, we're talking about the old... I'm talking about the fucking Eidos port that came out in 1998. Yeah. And I tried to play it just like almost everybody else, and that game was the fucking worst. That was the worst port of anything. It didn't even have the good music. Somewhere out there, someone played StarCraft 64. I did.

I played Diablo on PS1. So 4th, or without knowing about its source material. Me and my friends played the football mode in that a bunch, because that was fun. I'm sure it was. But otherwise, the campaign was a bit rough. Yeah, Zerch Soccer was great. I think around 2001, I think I told Pat about this, but a co-worker of my sister said, hey, would your brother like to play this?

I just had... And my sister brings me home this disc, and it says Max Payne on it, and I went, yeah! So I put on my computer, assuming this would not run, but whatever. It ran perfectly. And I was like, oh my god, this is the best game ever. Fast forward to like two or three years later, I couldn't play it again, because different computers, whatever. And I go, oh, I'm sure the PS2 port is great, and it's an awful, awful port of Max Payne.

Really? Just walking is the port advice. I think it runs at half the frame rate, and the controls are great for it. It was really bad. Of course, Bayonet on PS3, BioShock on iOS. Oh, but yeah, that's a good one. It's practically a remake of the game, like a bad one, too. So much is like...

Twilight Shock came out on fucking iOS. Not on Android, on iOS. Weird. Resident Evil 4 on mobile devices. Yeah! That's one of my favorites. That shit's crazy! I have beaten that game.

It's really bad. I remember when ShwepgodPat called me in to check out BayoPS3 running, and our eyes were just bled. I don't know if it's a good game, but the PS3 or 360 versions of DMC Devil May Cry are fucking shitports of the PC version, because they run at half the frame rate. I mean, like, they're fine. They're not great. I just wanted to poop on the game.

I was going to say, they're not good by character action standards. That worst of a video didn't do it for you. I'm like, you know, it fucking made him useful. You're right that by character action standards, it's not good, but if the competition is what? Darksiders? They're perfectly good. Whatever. Fine, I'll switch it over to the PS3 version.

But yeah, we got more than a couple backwards. That game runs like fucking shit. That runs like shit. Yeah. Steven says awesome credits themes are songs that elevate the game experience. I feel like we've done this question before. Okami. Okami.

Star sailor, way to fall. Yeah, that's pretty good. Snake Eater. I can't remember the name, but the song at the end of the World Ones With You is really, really strong. It's a vocal track. Nevermore is a fantastic, fantastic fucking song that perfectly ends that game. Near and all of the Drake and Guard games.

Yeah. Come on guys, we can do it. I don't know, I said one. I'll call me. I said nevermore. Star sailor is fine for me. Ok, we're good. Check that box.

We fulfilled it. Yeah. Don't expect anymore from us. No. Expect less every day. Cheat codes that make the game way more enjoyable. Ok, a power overwhelm. I feel like I blew 30 minutes on this.

We talked about the Star Wars. You mentioned the Star Wars lightsaber cheat a bunch. And the one hit ring out from bloody room. Getting the tank in GTA 3 and doing the fucking bullshit that could make you fly. When I was little I beat Starcraft and then I played through it again with power overwhelming. So powerful. Yeah. Black sheep wall.

Power overwhelming. What is it? ID cage. Doom give you all the weapons. Level 1. Getting the fucking Corvette in Age of Empires was the shit. In the original game you just fucking race around the map wrecking shit. It was so good.

In Star Wars Rogue Squadron 2 and 3 there's cheats for the Naboo fighter and Rudy's car. And the Millennium Falcon if I recall. There's cheats for a bunch of those. Actually I didn't ever go back but when me and my cousin were younger and the third Rogue Squadron came out you could play all of Rogue Squadron 2 in there. Yeah and co-op mode. But the vehicle hanger was shared and if I remember correctly if you did one of those cheats it replaced one of the A-wings with one of the cheat vehicles. And then you couldn't do the fifth mission in assault on Bespin or whatever because you needed two A-wings. You had to do it in single player from then on.

I don't know if there's any way to avoid cheats. That's the weirdest thing in the fucking world. I think but like we were playing through the Rogue Squadron 2 campaign because we loved that game and we got stopped. You know what would have been a cheat or a mode that would have made a game way better but some fucking suit assholes ripped it out. That fucking story you guys told me about the goddamn G.I. Joe movie game that had up to a point the Fensler voice clip mode. Shut up I never thought of this. You really would have only worked on that on me. I never had that game. I'm pretty sure Matt never tested that story.

Is this completely fabricated in my own brain? I think I heard that the movie was supposed to have quotes like pork chop sandwiches and then they took that out. Also there was Seth Kiley in telling Matt that there was a reference to Switcher videos in Street Fighter. Which there is. The story that I remember and at this point because I thought you two told it to me. I'm now worried it's completely... I don't ever recall that. It's dream based.

But I remember that shit G.I. Joe movie game that came out alongside the live action one. Eventually it had a mode that you could unlock that would replace the laser sounds with the old laser sounds. Maybe you saw that on Unseen 64. And the fucking voice clips would turn into pork chop sandwiches and shit like that. And it tanked because... You told me the story Matt. I'm 100% sure. It tanked because the fucking Hasbro suits saw it and were in the process of suing Fensler. That's true that they were in the process of suing him but I don't remember anything about the game.

And going what the fuck is this shit doing in our G.I. Joe game. And it got taken out. Really quickly I know three games that otherwise no one would care about. But in the video game version of Minority Report there is a cheat that makes all bodies lose all physics. And the game is a thousand billion times more entertaining. It's like that Grand Theft Auto Friction Mod. I remember a fan in the mailbag sent us a copy of Minority Report and said in their note, put this cheat in, it's fucking nuts.

And if you look up videos the game is super crazy. There's also Dave Mira BMX2 where your body would hang off the edge of your bike and anything you would hit would send your body flying 5000 miles away and just fly over the map. And I remember doing that back in the day when the game came out and the game was 100 billion times more fun. Speaking of which, all the fucking Tony Hawk games. Have crazy fun checks. In Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 you turn on moon gravity and you play as Django Fett and you do Django Jet Boost. And you just go up into whatever you want.

That's great. Or the Spider-Man webflip. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to close it out and I'll say Justin Bailey. Sure. Sure. Dude, whenever I see someone named Justin Bailey, because there are a few, whenever I see that I'm like, how? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's one of my favorite shirts, man. Justin Bailey is a good one. Yeah, absolutely. It's kind of crazy that that even exists. Go to ComboBreaker.com for your lame Justin Bailey t-shirt. Could you imagine he wasn't called Justin Bailey? We'd never have that. Yeah, if that thing didn't exist or if that game was called, like,

Mark, or if that guy was called Mark, he would have never written Justin Bailey. No, no, no, no, that's not, it wasn't the name of a guy. Justin Bailey actually was totally a random set of letters. That's what I'm saying. If the guy wasn't called Justin Bailey, he would have never tried to put his name in. The person that found it, you mean? Wasn't that where it came from? What the fuck are you two talking about?

The Metroid code came from the fact that officially there was another series of random letters that was the code they were going to use. Yeah. But because of the way the password system works, it would work with a series of other random numbers and that one was one of them. Yeah, but I thought the guy only discovered it because that was his name. And he put his name in the code. You know what? These two stories are not mutually exclusive. Yeah, no, exactly. And more research is required.

The Metroid password get you. Bikini. Not really, you get a bathing suit. Not really, you get a skin suit. Anyway. Ashford asks if we still rent out books from the public library. I just got a Kindle. No.

The library was the worst and is run by criminals. The only thing the library is good for is to go back there and catch people having sex in the back. Well, look, he's like, I took my nephew there and he noticed a lot of bums were lingering around. He considers it an alternative homeless shelter. My ex-wife Tammy runs the library and she's the worst. Yeah, yeah, Tammy. I could smell her coming. Oh, Tammy.

No, man, but honestly, it's like you're an adult. You can buy the books you want to read. Yeah. There's nothing stopping you. Best friend's not in support of your local public library. The only public library head in my town that's growing up is now nothing. It's a lot. When I was in high school, we had a class where we had to do a bit of community service, right?

A couple hours a week. What? Yeah. I didn't have to do that bullshit. Well, it makes you into an upstanding citizen. Yeah. Anyway. I'd pay my taxes.

The only place we could do it was the public library, because it was the only building for miles, right? Me and my friend would go there every Wednesday and we'd be there for five hours doing our community service and we'd be lucky to get one person walking in, because our town was fucking nobody. So you guys would just get high all afternoon? No. We would play Platypus, the Flash version. Yeah? Nice.

You're a fucking good game. That's like, again, sorry to reference it, when Parks and Rec and Leslie goes in and the evil people that run the library goes, oh, hi, it's nice to see the Parks and Rec people finally learning how to read. Yeah. And she goes, oh, how does it feel having your entire industry just made moot by the fact that the internet exists? Yeah. Just walks away. That being said, I talked shit about public libraries, but they're great.

Let's be clear. Part of the reason is because when I went to the library as a kid, even as a child, I remember, I don't want this book because someone else has touched it. It is gross. No, no, your behavior is gross. If I buy a brand new book off the shelf, I know no one's read it before. That's not true. I pick up every copy of every book.

And that's why I have a Kindle. Yeah. I love going to the library and looking through Tintin books. Did you just say, I would love that, but I have them all. You said I didn't as a kid because I wasn't as rich as you, I guess. I wasn't rich. My aunt owns a bookstore. Well, there you go.

You're rich aunt in book wealth. She's rich with the knowledge and history of the world. Tintin. But take your kids to the library. Do that shit. So they can see what long-term syphilis looks like. Yep. They can learn.

You learn them early, they never forget. Just make sure to check your dick every two months or else this will happen to you. Fucking, I left Tintin in the black sand in an airplane and I fucked up my collection and I lost it. Well, let's go get another one. I would buy way more books if books came like self-ain sealed. Right. In Japan.

Do you have any more of those weird wildo books? And last one from Chris. What's the best like bad ending? Best bad end? Like premature game ends early. Silent Hill's got some strong ones. Silent Hill's got a couple of bad ending. The Silent Hill one bad minus ending is one of the best ever.

My candidate, far and ahead, is, but the future refused to change. Chronic trigger. Yeah. Loose to Lavos. Fucking end your game right there. It's the best. I think all of them. You won.

You finished the game. I died at Lavos. That's what you were meant to do. Delete your save file. Quick. I think 999's axe ending is pretty strong as a bad end. Yeah. That's a good one too, man.

That's a good one too. I really didn't see it coming. Yeah. That's a good one too. Some of the 999 and VLR ones are good for sure. I think the safe bad ending is also amazing. A lot of the endings in Corpse Party are like really, really fucking good. Got a butter up your poop or I'll still get a bad end.

There's no butter. You won't even believe what happens to our pooper. Yeah. You wouldn't even believe it. No, but in all seriousness. You're cordially invited to butter up my pooper. Yeah. Those games are good.

You should plan. Oh, how do you? Yeah. How do you get it? I saw that firsthand. I know the worst. I got halfway through Corpse Party 1 and there's this part where you have to avoid these fucking ghosts that instant kill you and I was like, oh my god.

I know the worst bad ending. This sucks so bad. I know the worst bad ending. Don't look at them. I'm surprised Pat didn't say it. In Clock Tower for Super Nintendo, you're stuck in a house with a maniac and you can just get into the car, drive off, and fuck your friends over. Within 10 minutes.

Within 10 minutes starting to turn up the guys in the back of the car. Oh no. That's the best bad end. Well, Far Cry 4 then. Yeah, Far Cry 4. That's not a bad end. That's like the good end. Yeah.

Probably. Yeah. There's some stuff there. Some good stuff. All right. We're winding down. Let's just fucking it. Yeah, I had one more.

I had one more. I had one more. It's okay. What's coming up on the thing, guys? Whatever. Silent Hill. Four new players to be your brothers. Yeah, what?

You brought from us. Well, we're in the golden age of the Saibatsu apparently. Apparently. The golden age of LPs is coming up. Apparently. Get your hopes up, everybody. Yeah, get your hands. It's over.

Oh no. Because you know what comes next. So yeah, Matt. I'm pretty fucking impressed and super salt about your solo number. Your hero's LP. Why would you be salt? Because I don't have the balls to do with solo. I say it in the thing.

It's like the one game I can think of where I probably know enough. I want to talk the entire time. Yeah, if I want to go back into RE2 again, I could probably do RE2. Yeah, you could probably do it. But that's also like, it's the knowledge of the game itself and dumb testing stories, which I had plenty. So originally this was broken and then we fixed it. Well, the best thing I think I say is just that like the fact that in the game originally

you can run over pedestrians and they splatter into a million pieces. Yeah. And it was the most awesome thing because then you do the hard turns, you just splatter like 17 million people and then they inputted that feature after I made the ESRB checklist. Oh no. So I go, no, you can't put a thing in. So it's your fault. No.

It's their fault. Why'd you take feature of that? You effectively deleted the feature. Because it would screw up their submission. This playthrough is now just proof of your shame that you fucked up no more heroes. It would screw up the submission and you'd probably be delayed or canceled. People would have went to his fucking toilet paper event if there was gore like that. It may be.

That's one of the most depressing things. I wish there was a death metal monologue in every boss fight. Yeah, you bet you do. You know what, if you do new game plus on that game and your Travis is so leveled up, then you beat him before the fucking speech starts. Oh, nice. You never get it. Wow.

Like you have to just wait at the corner. This is how I feel like I'm free. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess, you know, maybe not this week, but we're going to have like one or two one-offs here and there. Oh yeah. It's a bunch of new LPs, but there's still stuff coming.

Yeah. Because we can't stop. We can't stop. We can't stop. Bad boy for life. We're not going on vacations. We're not going to different countries. We're fine.

The holidays are over. That's not true. We're about to fly to another country like in a couple days. That's true. America's not a nut. Come on. It's not. It's Canada heavy.

Plus, it's like for us. You know, Canada's America light. Canada plus. Canada big. Canada big. Yeah. There you go. All right.

Let's get out of here. I need to go play some Mars though. Yeah. So that's it. What's on the watch for him? Is that? It's a hard stone. Until that fucking Nintendo Direct.

Shut up and let me hit the stop button. Okay. Dude, that thread got closed on Gaff because it was hype over nothing. Yeah. No. It got closed because it's happening right now probably. Yeah. Stop.

Stop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.