Castle Super Beast - SBFC 076: Why is Pat's Coffin filled with Human Fecal Matter?

Episode Date: January 20, 2015

Whole lotta 3DS talk, not gonna lie.

And crouch walking, of course. The crouch walking is super handy. I hate that it's crouch walking. Like to me, that's game ruining. So much better. You're not nearly as stealthed as when you're lying down. No, but I mean, stalking's not in that game. Sure.

How bad was the frame rate problems originally? Because I think... When you have 3D, I'm tired. I really don't remember getting locked feedback. It's like playing the original PS2. That's not true at all. It's true. The original PS2 wildly varied.

Well, that's what I meant. No, because I just never got the feedback that like, oh wait, this game is bad. I didn't hear that. Well, it's not that it was bad, it's that it came out like a month apart from the HD collection, which actually was like 60, but it was also on the Vita locked at 30, which just like, kicked this one. That one's a way better version of it. There's a reason why it's actually way worse is because we were going to get a much, much

different game if you recall. That's the game that got cancelled that made Kojima sad. Do you remember that? Oh god, vaguely. Do you remember the original trailer from your song, the 3DS, was like, it had a way different intro and it was like new stuff. Yeah, that's one of those things where I guess I'm just sticking the mud because like, I didn't want it to make like a favorite Metal Gear gameplay out of it.

And then Konami said, no, cancel is just, make a quick and shitting me off. And like, to have the game that had stalking, to change it to the crowdwalk is like, infuriating. I just figured like, I owned this game three, four times already, I didn't really need to get the... You actually did. I'm surprised you didn't because like Snake has a new character model and they read it all the menus. Like it's a total...

No, I'm aware. I just didn't need to replay it that sure. The HD collection is the one still. And I'm fine with that. You know, I'm happy picking that up. I just wish you loved Snake Eater as much as I did. I know. Yeah.

Not everyone. But like with each copy that you owned, did you play through each copy? No. Okay. That's not the point. I love Snake Eater enough to always want to play the best version of it. Oh, okay. Well, I support them all in a rainbow color.

Who in this room has the document of Metal Gear Solid 2? I never... I don't understand that. I don't understand. If there was a PC version, I'd buy the PC version and do all sorts of crazy shit to it. But I don't love it. Like, come on. Do any of you own the document of Metal Gear Solid 2?

No, the document. I did at one point. I did at one point. Doesn't count. Doesn't count. What would... Do you own the thing that you... Does anyone own the thing that he owns?

What? For Snake Eater? Me? Yeah. Do you own the red box? Yeah. The subsistence red box? Yeah.

How many Solid Eyes do you have? You fucker. Oh, God, I'm so jealous of your Solid Eyes. I have one Solid Eyes. Good. They're great. I have Artbooks. Artbooks on Artbooks.

How many copies of Ground Zeroes do you guys own? The 3D's on the... The physical and the digital. I have two. Really? You have the physical and the digital? I'm pretty sure I do, yeah. Okay.

I have both digital. The PC and... I have retail because I love it more than you guys. What does that mean? I don't know. It's retail more love. Because it has Yogi Shinokawa custom artwork on it. We're just gonna whip on our dicks and see who has a fucking Fox logo tattoo on it to see how we end this.

It's on the... It's on the top. It's on the top. It's on the top. The escalation of this is not ending anywhere. Anyways... I'll never figure this out. Look where the 3D slider is.

On the opposite side. On the other side. I don't see anything. Wow. Right here, dipshit! Oh, my God. This clusterfuck of an intro is... Do you have the Metal Gear Solid HD Artbook?

Yes, I do. This is the best. Yes, it came with the set. It's great. Oh, my God. This place was so much better with the thing. It does, doesn't it? The nubbin.

Welcome to some live new 3DS impressions, people. It's good. It's good. It's good. You're never getting that version. Never. Snake Eater 3DS, apparently. It has a second life as far as I'm concerned.

Because of the new nub. Because playing it with the fucking CirclePad Pro was the most awkward thing ever. Because your right stick is to the right. I've been playing Monster Hunter. I started with the CirclePad Pro. The demo. Yeah. And that thing fucking sucks.

It's so impossible to play. The CirclePad Pro. Like, Willie and Matt, when's the last time you guys used the CirclePad Pro? To play Snake Eater 3DS. To play Snake Eater 3DS. Never. So that's the good. And that's the point.

To play Snake Eater 3DS. I bought one for revelations. And then within 10 minutes I realized tech controls were better. It fucking sucks. It sucks. Even when it does actually improve the controls. Which is never. Holding that abomination.

Even worse. And I remember, Willie, when you were at my house the other night, I brought over the Wii U GamePad and gave him my XL with CirclePad and the Wii U GamePad. And the XL with CirclePad weighed substantially more. The XL with CirclePad is an abomination. Did you guys ever see the 2DS CirclePad that I photoshopped that one time? No. I remember watching the Nintendo Direct and when they showed a picture of it again,

it had been so long. I went, oh my god. That Frankenstein had a beard. If you cut out the Virtual Boy, but I think this is more similar than the Virtual Boy, it's Nintendo's Sega CD with 32X on it. Absolutely. You look at it visually and you're like, no, this was not meant for humans to look at. I think the weirdest thing about that is not that it feels like shit and not that it's stupid,

but that it's visually so ugly. Unlike the other 32X and the other Genesis add-on CDs. There's too many to keep track of. No, but those were all at least, okay, the future has now come out and we can add new technology to our thing. The CirclePad could have been there from day one. The CirclePad should have been there. The CirclePad was, whoops, we made a mistake. We can make a cheaper system of that.

No, but yes, you're right, but for the 32X, it was going to be its own standalone system, and then they said no. I know, what I mean is the introduction of a second analog stick is not... Or even the nub! The nub is fine! Because all you're ever going to use it for is left-right camera control. Yeah, I think I mentioned this last week, it's really stiff, but after using it for a week, you really get used to it. Even in the short time that I was messing around with it, it's like, oh, if all this is for aiming, fuck it.

But if it's for camera... That's why I was playing Snake Eater, because now I'm used to that. If it's for camera control, where all you want is left or right or up or down, it's great! It's perfect even, because you don't, I don't need a whole analog stick for that. I just need something that works. It's not, it's good enough. Without putting my whole thumb on the fucking touchscreen, like a goddamn savage. Yeah.

Well, we're not like Neanderthals anymore, Woolly, like... Yeah, their legendary misuse of their handheld consoles is terrible. Physically touching a resisted touchscreen with your hand is fucking barbarism. How are you going to use your amiibos when you get... I don't like amiibos! Why aren't you filling up yet? Well, you weren't there when we did the Let's Watch, but when they showed the demonstration of the amiibo going on the screen, I spent almost five minutes asking Liam, do you think there's a way to do that without the amiibo touching the screen?

I tested it for you just because, and it totally is fine. Right. But it is under the touchscreen nonetheless. Can you put it on the bottom and make it face upwards? You can kind of just like, if you just kind of touch it to the edge of the screen, then like it's still over the thing and it's not touching, so... But you can also probably hover it even. Can I drink from this glass without putting it to my lips?

Yeah, don't get that wrong in your mouth. It was strong. Like, every time you guys, like, I say a crazy or specific or neurotic thing, you all go, let's think up a dumb example, and then it's always, dude, I totally do that, or that's a great idea. I don't remember the latter. Talking me on these never actually works. Okay. Because my response is not what you want.

But brushing your teeth by swirling in a cup. Or spinning in a tornado to get into bed. I don't... I don't know what the fuck that was. Okay, let's... Hanzo and Fuma from World Heroes with the spinning. That's how Pat gets into his bed. Indonesian Bob is a fantastic artist,

but unfortunately, misunderstood the method to get into bed. You don't need to get in and swirl yourself up like a tight little burrito. That's the insane thing. That's what insane people do. What you get in, it's like a Ziploc bag. The ninjas that fly on the giant kites? Yeah, like that. But in reverse.

And you just jump on your bed like that. Yeah. And then tuck your arms and legs in. Okay. And sit there. Okay. Pretend your bed is of Manila envelope. Right?

Yeah. And you slide into the envelope and then seal it by putting the cover up to your chin. Or just get into the bed like a man. Try that. Any of these are valid options. No. No. Why even have your chin exposed?

And then why don't I just go... Hold on. Hold on. Just grab a spoon. Hold on. You pull the covers up to your chin so that you're... And then you push your arms out to flatten them so that the corners... Perfect.

So your bed is made, but you're just in it. You're in it. Why not just land or another place? Hold on. Shut up. Just don't even risk it. And then you kind of just stare at the ceiling for like 20 minutes and think about life. Okay.

And then when you start to get drowsy and comfortable, you slowly turn over so that you're on your stomach. And then you pull the covers slightly higher so that they're at the back of your head. Got it. Like this for this part where the spine meets the head. And then you turn your head to the side so that half your head's in the pillow. No crimples. That's comfy.

No crimples. That's comfy. And then you put your arms underneath that pillow and then you sleep. And then you wake up in that exact position. In that exact position because you didn't move because you slept well. Okay. And then you can do one of two things. You can do one of two things.

You can either turn back on your back or put your straight jacket back on. You turn back on your back and then reach over the top of the bed, grab the corner and open it up diagonally like a fancy coat. And then you have plenty of room to just get up and get out from the bed. And then you just flap it back down. This is Patton Oswald. Hold on. You flap it back down and then you straighten it a little bit.

No. Or. I am interrupting you. I am not letting this. Or. I am not putting up with this. We're done. If you're extra lazy, you just slide out from underneath the covers.

What do you do on your week? Leaving the bed in two weeks. My week was not that busy. I sleep in a big bed with my wife. That's what I do. You're not married. I essentially am. Yeah, you get married.

That's what I do. You get married. That's my ritual. That's good. I slide under the covers and then I kick them off. I sleep in a racing car. And then I pull them back up halfway. I used to do that when I was a kid.

And I roll around and I grapple my pillow and I fucking SPD it. And I don't even know where I wake up the next morning. You want insane sleeping shit. Before I did this, as a kid, I would wake up every day with my every single item on the bed kicked off onto the floor. That's fine. Good. And then I learned how to sleep.

How to control the sleep. How to control your sleep. And one day you might actually learn how to do it. You know what? You've got to kick shit off your bed so that the scary monsters get intimidated by your six skills. So I'm going to go behind the curtain slightly and tell you guys the reason why I do this. Because I hate it.

You're only going to hear this here, people. I, Worldstar, exclusive. When I was nine years old, I hated to make my bed because I was nine years old. Nine years old. Yeah. And mom would always tell me, just make your fucking bed. Come on. You're a grown kid.

Make your bed. Right? And I'm like, I don't want to. You know, bullshit. Especially since I was kicking the fucking sheets off, I'd have to redo the whole fucking thing. So I devised this method so that I wouldn't have to make my bed anymore. Because the bed would already be made.

But then, after like ten years of doing that, now it has to be like that. Or else. Or else what? I don't know. I don't call you. I don't know. You need the robot that tucks you in at night. And just seals you into your bed.

Dude. But then seals it too hard so that you can't breathe and you die. Sounds awesome. But you're perfectly, your bed is made. So it's fine. You can just bury that. That means if you found me dead, I'd at least look dignified. I had this dumb thing where my mom would be like, don't eat in bed.

Don't get cookies in the sheets or whatever. Oh, that's terrible. It's my bed. So I did this dumb thing where I had these construction blocks, these like plastic colored sheets that you'd connect together and you can make structures out of them. And for some reason, I thought I was being clever by taking cookies from downstairs and opening up a secret hatch next to my bed and put the cookies in there. And when my mom would come in, she would never see the cookies because they were hidden.

And I had my arms crossed like, yeah, you don't know about it. And then I would then eat the cookies and I'd be like, wait, this isn't anything. What have I done with my baby ears? Nothing. This is stupid. What an impressive child. What an impressive child. I don't know, seriously, what did you do?

We need to know. I broke my early access abstinence. Yeah. Early access hymen. I generally have not touched any of those. The phrase early access hymen, it's the ear wrong, real bad. Because it implies you want to do it. Oh, okay.

Wow. We're going that dire. All right. Well, generally it's not a good idea. Yeah, early access at that point. But I wanted to find out the deal. I wanted to find out what was going on with Hawkin. Hawkin, right.

Wait, that's early access? Yeah. Because I played that game like two years ago, but it wasn't on Steam. Yeah. It's early access. It's in late beta right now and it's not free. How is it late beta? It was like a full release when I played it two years ago.

I remember watching that. There's more stuff. It seems they're not ready yet. You can't release a game and you can't back into beta. I don't know. I thought they did though. They pulled it back. Oh, that's not done.

Put it back in the oven. And you know, quite frankly, I wouldn't mind if they did. I didn't fix up a couple things. Yeah, I stopped playing because that game was bare bones. And it felt good while it was going. Oh yeah, it feels good. Yeah, but it's quite bare bones. That being said, they've added a lot of mechs.

I don't know how many were there at the time. There were a bunch, but the main problem is that it's like, hey man, you want this mech? Give us $10. Spend money on it. Right. And I was like, no, I'm not going to do that. Well, okay.

Well, the thing is you can earn, you can do that, or you can spend in game currency. Right. And it's not obtusely expensive. It's not ridiculous. Okay. But you can, like some of the more expensive ones are like, okay, that's not going to happen.

But it's a really good mech though. But if I play this game every day for a year, I might be able to get that shitty one. But it is, or you can do, and there's anything too, they have to like, okay, if you don't want to feel shitty for just buying this mech, that's fine. You can buy a multiplier that gives you 1.5 times the amount of regular in game cash.

Yeah, it's a coin double. Yeah, exactly. That's like a popular one in the free to play game. Yeah, because it's like, That's the one I always look at, and I'm like, yeah, I'll buy it. The coin number is often the only one that's actually worth it. Because it's like, it's fine.

You don't want to spend. I get it. I get it. That's fine. How about you exit? Exactly. You know? Open up a jacket.

Yeah, I was about to say, it's essentially a guy opening up a trench call being like, if you don't want this, I got stuff over here. It's the same guy in the store, brick and mortar, behind the counter. But when you walk out the door, he leaves and goes into the alley with his coat on

and goes, but wait. There's more. Digital version of that. And it's the good stuff. Yeah. So that being said, while the game's going, it's great, man. Hawken is a mech simulator.

Dude, it's fun. It is fun. It nails the, what would I call this? Is it more like Mech Warrior or Titanfall? It is more like Mech Warrior than Titanfall. Okay. I think that the thing that Hawken does better than anything else is the jostle.

It's the eye of a human being sitting in a restaurant of metal. Because when you're doing the dashes, you're bouncing off the sides of the walls of that restaurant. Yeah. Well, that's what I was going to talk about. A lot of the, I guess you'd call it a HUD. Like the inside of the Mac.

But the inside of the cockpit, look, it feels like you're sitting in this fucking riggedy, metal thing that's just barely held together with nuts and bolts. And it's shaking while it's shooting. And every time you jump jet and land, it's like, good funk. But when you're doing the multiplayer maps and stuff,

it might have just been the time I was playing it. I had a hard time finding matches for a while. Yeah, that's because it's old now. Just when it's also new. It's also new. But when I did get into some games, yeah, man, there's quite a few different configurations of Mech you can play and enjoy.

I think the main thing is that because of its, like, straight Mech simulator intentions, it's not as explosively fun as Titanfall can be in some cases. Yeah, so... Like Titanfall has the whole ground game, Mech game mix-up where you have a mechanic of jumping, ejecting from your Mech, landing on his Titan.

Shooting inside the guts of the Mech. Exactly, and then there's an actual battle between guys on foot versus guys on land. But this game is more just like a straight forward. Straight forward Mech versus Mech simulator. I've been said there's very few of those nowadays. Yeah, it's pure, but it doesn't have as much, I guess, like, depth to it

because it's such a pure Mech simulator. I found that, like, after I got over how cool the game was, like, I didn't actually like it that much. Like, it's... That sounds like Dino D-Day syndrome. It's a really old style of multiplayer shooter. Yeah. And instead of having unlocks, they have free-to-play.

Yeah. And there's bits and pieces of polish, but it's not consistent everywhere. And, of course, the main problem is the lack of modes, lack of things, lack of game, you know, things to really fucking play. And in that sense, I came into this discussion about Titanfall

saying how Bear Bones Titanfall. Oh, yeah, Titanfall's fucking Bear Bones. This is even more Bear Bones. Yeah, sure is. Unless you pay. I didn't even think that was possible because, holy fuck, man. There's a lot of Bear Bones shooters going around.

Okay, fucking shooters. Well, yeah, but I'm including Destiny here, too. Yeah, I guess. Destiny's the fucking king of Bear Bones. You know, but you could at least jump into, like, whatever, the six or seven multiplayer campaigns on Titanfall and feel like you got a story out of it, maybe. Yeah, maybe.

You know, in this... There's something to watch. There's a cutscene to watch. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? Some sort of progression. Also on a very base level, like, two control types is more exciting than one control type.

Yeah, it is. And furthermore, one of them has wall running. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and the other one has a hard time converting to... Well, okay, I played on keyboard mouse at first, and I didn't like some of their setups. The dash boosting required you to hold shift. Yeah, weird.

I don't like that. I don't like it either. Hold shift to press WASD, and I was like, and I want both, you know? Yeah. So I switched to the 360 controller and managed to still compete with keyboard players. Because the pace of the game is slow.

Yeah, for a lot of things. Like, a good example is stealth games, where it's like, enjoy your fucking stealth game on a keyboard. Half press that W button. There's only one... But if we talked about that, there's only one game that nailed it. And it's Slitter Cell Chaos Theory,

because you use the mouse scroll to change your walk speed. Yeah, okay. I don't know how Ground Zero handles it, but... It says use of control. Well, original Hitman, you had your four directions, and then the buttons outside of those being walk a little bit faster. Yeah.

It was rough. The PS2 versions of Hitman were considerably better, even though they shouldn't have been. Yeah, but in this case, whatever it's competitive multiplayer, I just assume if you're on a controller, you're going to get wrecked by keyboard players. And that wasn't the case here.

But there wasn't enough... There wasn't a lot of pinpoint shooting. Yeah, but there's still not enough buttons to support all the commands, of course. Yeah. It's like, what do you want from here? You want a flight stick. Like, you want a keyboard and a flight stick.

You want a steel battalion. Yeah, a steel battalion is what I really do. You need that wiper button. Yeah. Because if you don't have that wiper button, you're dead. You're dead. Fuck it.

Fuck your save file. But no, all in all, I'm going to see what happens. Well, I've already fucking paid, so I'm in. But I really hope that when they do finalize, they add a bit more there. Dude, I have so little faith in that. They add more that you can pay more for.

Because I played that game years ago, and you're describing the same problems. Yeah. Yeah. And when you go into the garage, dude, Matt, it's like Real Steel's Mecca creator, in the sense that you can decal this and decal that and kind of like, you know, trigger that thing.

It is as, like, is there like energy components that you can only have so much? You're paying for every game piece, of course. You know, so that's Hawking. I also started out Broken Age, finally, and that's gorgeous and fun, and I'm enjoying it. Not good. Playing with the girlfriend, so at a reduced pace.

That's fine. You know, but... Did you finish either of the house? No, I think we got halfway through the girls' campaign. You should check out Project Han from Korea. Okay. It's a Mecca MMO. Is it playable outside of Korea?

It currently isn't playable. It's a trailer. Okay. But you should check it out. Check it out. It has a small mech that turns into a motorcycle, a big mech, a bigger mech that has a shield, and then, like, a fucking, like, construct-a-con level,

like, gigantic eye, and it's... You said words that appeal to me. Yeah, it's Project HON. There's a trailer on YouTube of their demonstration at some fucking Korean game show. It looks really good. Even if it doesn't come out, you're going to look at it and be like, oh, that's cool.

That's a cool thing. And, you know, I fucking watched the more Gundam build fighters. Yeah? That show's fun. That's good, good old-fashioned. Did they build a Gundam? They built it, and then they blew the other ones up, and then they went to the underground bar

where all the... Where the children go. You know where the adults go to play with their gun-cloud. Yeah, I know. With the children go there. You know, to fight the stronger adults. And the stronger adults in the bar lined up with the fucking old man bartender

are all dressed like Xeon soldiers. Yeah! It's fucking max, but it's great. It's great. It's a really fun show. Yeah, that's it, man. I played a lot of other stuff, but I can't talk about that because those are recordings we're going to have to release soon.

So, spoilers. What about you, Land? What did she do to you? I played... Okay, okay. There's a story from last week that I forgot last week, and I was killing myself because I needed to tell it. But you're alive here now.

So, I went to a tea shop to get a teapot. Was it David's teapot? No, it was a teapot. Oh, yeah, I know that one. Anyway, I went to teapot to get a teapot for my girlfriend for a late Christmas gift that didn't pan out because they were sold out pre-Christmas. And I go in and there's a bunch of people looking at the China and the glass teapots,

which is what I want, so I'm just waiting for them to get out of the way and I'm looking at the metal teapots for the green tea and shit. And this guy who works there walks up to me and he's like, hey, man, are you looking for a teapot? And I was like, yeah, exactly. I am looking for a teapot. And he says, well, these are the metal ones,

and he's telling me about them, and I'm like, I don't want this conversation, but whatever, I'll just... Oh, no! Because you came in looking for this. One of those four glass teapots was going to be mine, and I didn't give a shit about these metal ones. So you're like, I'll let him do his thing.

And after a minute, I was like, well, I'm actually more interested in the China ones, so I'm going to... And he's like, well, there's benefits to these. You know, this one's got a dragon on it, and that's like... Oh, yeah! That is a benefit.

That's a symbol of power and wealth. And this one got a bird on it, and he said he's got a bird on it. Put a bird on it. It's just buttered. Put a bird on it. And he was like, what are you laughing at? I was like, I just want a China teapot.

And he's like, are you making fun of me? And I was like, look, man, I don't care if there's a bird on it. It's not going to make a difference. I just want a China teapot. And he walked away really fucking pissed off at me. And I went to the cache with my teapot, and the girl said, like, I'll just sec.

I have to go handle something, because another employee called, and that guy walks up and he's like, so you got the China teapot. And I was like, yeah. Man, these pushy tea peddlers. So, so, here's the backstory to that, that I know that explains your world.

Bring it on. My girlfriend's friend got a job working there. What? When they first opened up. Sick. And what they do... Specifically, Tivano? They specifically, yeah, they opened up,

and they, it's an American business. Yeah, they're all my Starbucks, I think. And they opened up over here, and they had this whole philosophy, which explains part of why fucking Target shut down here in Canada, where they are staunchly American in the way they handle things,

and the way they train their employees, and they don't change for the way Canada works. Yeah. Right? So, the one thing they do... Just these little cultural differences. Well, the biggest thing is they push every employee to upsell everything constantly all the time.

Why do they? And they force you to, right? So, let's backstory that concept slightly. Everyone who complains about EB Games and the constant upselling in the States, that doesn't happen out here. Do you want disc protection? They do that shit here.

Yeah, but that's it. We did some of that. But that's it. They don't ask you if you want a subscription to a magazine after that. They don't ask you if you want the credit card with everything right here. You're right.

It does get worse. It does get worse. Right? I was in the States recently, and yes, if they wanted the credit card to five customers in front of me, I was like, oh my God. Right?

This is the worst. It's more layback here, customer-wise. Yeah. Considerably. Anyway. And we don't take well to upselling extensively. No. Especially if you go and know what you want.

Exactly. That's just the way the culture is. Science. You know? And so, the manager who came up from the States trying to tell my girlfriend's friend, you're not pushing enough when they're looking for their different tea things.

You've got to always go straight to the most expensive one and tell them about the benefits of it and really all. Hey honey, you want the gold. And then come down from there and work your way down from there until you meet them where they want to go on the upsell.

Everyone's got to be a used car salesman. And he just couldn't fucking take it because it was just like... Even if he was... It's so disingenuous. Because it's like I'm Canadian. You're Canadian. I'm not trying to do this above the level

that we're used to. Yeah. But he's standing there going fucking... You're not doing it. You're not doing it like... This is the way it works down there. We want to sell ourselves. How are you going to hit your numbers?

Yeah. And if you don't get out there and fucking hustle. Exactly. And two weeks later, he fucking left. Of course. And him and a bunch of other people that couldn't deal with it were just like

working here is otherwise fine. But the fact that you get pulled into a back and get like lectured to, not about your anything... Not anything you've done bad. But about how you're not scummy enough. But you're not scummy and hard enough. And so that place is notorious for that.

And it sucks because your tea is so fucking good. Yeah. But it's shit. But it's that kind of shit that pushes people to Amazon. Like I'm insane. I admit this. Right?

Any Steven somewhat negative customer experience pushes me towards a scenario in which I don't have to deal with people. But other people eventually hit that point too. I want the pushing that you get in like a Chinatown tea shop where it's you walk in and they barely acknowledge your existence.

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Even when you're paying. Yeah. They're talking to their husband. Oh yeah. You're like, am I here?

Do you guys have this? And then they swear at you in Chinese and you're like, I guess not. Perfect. Basically. That's exactly what I want. I should have known. You're right, ma'am.

Yeah. My mistake. Damn right. Yeah, that's the story with those people, man. It's bad. It's funny that I came from another angle. And the tea's delicious and the teapot's fucking great.

And just to kind of like frame it from what I was talking about, like Target shut down here in Canada. Yeah, I was about to say, can we talk about that? It's on the way out. It's on the way out. It's on the way out.

There's Zellers. What a bunch of fucking cowards. I'll tell you some interesting stuff about that after, because like, you know, my girlfriend used to work in HR, so she knows some of this shit. Well, I was reading about your girlfriends' friends' posts about what's going on there.

Yeah. And like, a lot of employees, like not from Irving, but from a public thing, that was like, a lot of employees found out they were going to be losing their jobs from like,

News. News media. Yeah. And fucking articles. Oh, the good old Kurt Schilling way of doing it. Yeah, exactly. But yeah. But the problem with the way,

is like, you know, it's the kind of store that should be fine, because it's like, they've got... So we used to have a national team called Zellers, and Zellers is basically Target.

Yeah, right. Canadian Target. But Target... But not as good as American Target, right? Just straight up. Just straight up. And Zellers went bankrupt. Straight up, bankrupt,

and then Target said, hey, we're going to expand into camp. Well, Target bought the brand and all that they owned from... 164 empty stores. And they're like, hey, we're going to buy these stores. Let's move in,

and just straight up, just replace Zellers. And they showed up, and they're almost exactly the same, except way worse. Target is so bad, compared to how Zellers was. So it's way better than Zellers?

No, no, no, no. Do you want to fucking Alexis Neon Zellers? Okay, look, I used to work in that building. I used to go to both all the time. Well, now I can't go to Target. Now, Target has shit clothes.

This particular Target, the men's section has nothing. Whereas the Zellers section for men's clothes was ginormous. But the food section in this Target is amazing. You can get crumpets and cool things. The food is pretty good.

So that's it. But here's the thing. And its gaming section is actually decent. But here's the important thing. Target, as it's supposed to be in its prime, Target Prime is better than Zellers Prime. Absolutely, absolutely. No contest.

But the problem with Wade when they rolled out here was, one, they had 12 months to get every store up and running. Which is tough. And a lot of malls said, if you don't replace it in 12 months, we're going to rent it out to someone else because we don't want to close the store for that long.

Something I know as well, that may as well be public knowledge, is that they inherited Zellers supply chains as well. And that was one of the issues, was that was not good. No, the supply chain is the crippling flaw here. And they did not know what was coming to them on the truck every time the truck pulled in.

I don't know the specifics, but I just know that the supply system that Zellers had was really poor and they inherited that. They inherited that. And so trucks would pull up full restocking things they weren't aware of what was being restocked. And they had a policy where, generally the way stores would work is,

when a shelf is empty, you refill it with the product next to it and you fill the shelves. Yep. You keep the shelves full stocked. What if there's not enough to even do that? So the thing was though, the way Target would work is,

you never fill in the space for product X with product Y stuff, no product X for months. Which is very weird. No, that's a good way of thinking, but when your supply chain isn't working, it's not going to happen. What do you end up with?

You end up with bare shelves. So weeks in, you start walking into targets in Canada and you see empty shelves and you go, oh, I guess they don't have my thing. And you walk out not doing the impulse buys they were hoping for, returning a month later and they still have nothing

and it's even more bare. And they would restock random things that you weren't looking for. I'm kind of shocked you have such a negative impression. I found it way better than Zellers. No, in general, the system should work better, but it didn't because they had no stuff

on the shelves. So, Liam, here's the example that I just went to Target like two days ago and I think it sums up the problem. It is a much nicer store and I like how the caches are set up and generally the selection and the prices are better.

But that doesn't mean anything because when I went in to buy socks, men's socks, the most common item in the world, I had to look for almost 10 minutes to find one pack of socks in my size

and it was the last one and it was, like, Saturday morning. So, like, I would have bought more, but I couldn't find more. I was so extensively trained into being, like, helpful and whatnot and better than, like,

Zellers and all those other stores, but... Zellers customer service is hilarious. Man, we're getting deep into this. Well, yeah, but it just ultimately... It just strikes close to our hearts. It just ultimately didn't matter because they would help you walk to the empty shelf and go, oh, sorry.

Yeah, every time I went down to buy there, I want to buy a lamp, I want to buy light bulbs, I want to buy socks, I want to buy... Do you remember that fucking podcast where I bought 10 minutes because I couldn't find gloves? A scarf, I thought. A scarf, that's it. That was this fucking target.

And apparently the slow release of employees was called right-sizing. Oh! That's the term they use. So they would right-size various stores to the point where they had, like, four people covering you. I'm thinking about this and it's like, this is a problem I never ran into

because I would always go there just to look for, like, a deal on something. Yeah, that's not how most people shop. I'm thinking about it, it's like, when I need a light bulb, I'm going to go to Rona. When I need X, I'm going to go to that store, you know, and I would never go there for a general. The reason why I would go there generally

is because it's in fucking OX's name. Yeah, no one, you're right, I would never do that, so I would never do that. Now I've got to go down to the fucking Walmart to buy socks next time I need to... Fuck that! I don't need games to socks, man. Ultimately.

You're a sock smell! You're five guys seven times a week. They're socks! No, but they had a problem as well adapting to the American culture thing. Because a lot of the time people kind of go, like, hey, Canada doesn't really have a unique culture, it's just a watered-down American culture.

Yeah, fuck you! This kind of proves that, actually, no, because, you know, businesses that come up and try to run the same playbook, the plays don't work. The whole, like, Canada doesn't have a culture, it's just, like, an off-brand, like, that can't possibly true

because every American that I know that has come up here spends, like, a week going, this place is so fucking weird! Yeah. Everything's so... My most ultimate example of that... The ketchup tastes different! Whereas when I was working at a fun column

working on Age of Conan, and they brought in some American tester from their other office, and he comes in dressing a black trench coat, and he comes in and he goes, do you know where I can buy some guns? And I go, nowhere that I'm aware of,

and he's like, I'm not even frontin'. And I go, no, nowhere that I'm aware of, he's like, well, what about a K-Mart? I'm like, we don't have K-Mart. And he goes, well, what about a Walmart? I'm like, well, we have Walmart, but no. And he goes, well,

I went to, like, a convenience store, and it was fucking closed! Wait, why is this the reason that you need guns? You know, like, as in another thing he was complaining about. I went into a mall and it was closed. And I was like, well, what time did you go? It was like, it was like 12 a.m.

on a Saturday. I'm like, well, those are closed then. And he goes, what the fuck is wrong with this country? I'm only here for the money! Which is weird and different! And that was like, three weeks before I joined up with Ida, so I never saw him again.

That guy was... I would have loved to hang out with that guy! When do we get the freaking guns? When do we get the freaking guns? When I go to the States and I go to a store and I see a gun that is pink, I'm just like, oh my god. It's a fight me that!

And I have nothing against someone who wants to get a pink gun. Just the idea that they are marketed to that extent, that they would make pink ones. Hey, get your 12-year-old daughter a first gun. Moon Prism buck shot! Come on, now you're selling me on it. That's really awesome. Scarborough Fair is beautiful.

I am all the way in with that. Wow, we got real in there. Hey, did you guys know where from Canada? Quick, talk about a week. I played a lot of New 3DS stuff because I have one. You still have to pay me to do that, by the way. Yeah, it's the first week after Nintendo Direct. This is not the longest week between podcasts ever.

And the reason why is because the Nintendo Direct came out the day after the podcast. So it's on the docket to worry about that. So you've been playing a lot with the Nintendo 3DS that we're never allowed to have. I was going to say, for starters, this is the first time since 2012 where I'm really excited about the 3DS.

Absolutely, I totally agree. Not because of the new hardware, but because there's a bunch of core games coming. And in 2013 and 2014, there was a bunch and there was SMT4 and Zelda and Fire and so on. But it was like four or five, and I didn't really have interest in all of them, necessarily. Like last year, a big omission was Persona Q

that I just wasn't interested in. And you know... Dude, February 13th is going to kick ass. This year, right off the bat, like four months running, there's just core products. So what have you been playing on? So yeah, I bought Pat's Japanese 3DS. I technically haven't bought it yet.

Well, we agreed to terms. We did. Yeah, but you never actually paid me. Because I didn't get paid yet. Oh yeah, we got to pay him so that you could pay me. Yeah, exactly. With his money. I was playing with this Japanese New 3DS, the vanilla one.

Is that a beer? No, it's a giant mug. It's drinking at three o'clock in the morning. It's fucking juice. Yeah, with a little extra, huh? Anyway, sorry, you've been playing New 3DS? And I made a point to play a bunch of games that use the circle pad. Of course, yeah.

Stuff like that. And at the beginning, it's really stiff. It's like a little laptop nub, but stiffer and less comfortable. And then after using it for maybe five to seven hours, you totally get used to it and you're like, yes. Oh, the screen rate is hilarious. And like games that I had deemed like previously garbage, like Snake Eater on 3DS,

I think it has a totally new life on the New 3DS because it has a stick that's not in an absolutely bizarre position. You know what I mean? So it's playable. And like Resident Evil Revelations, if you felt like playing it with two sticks, I guess this is a better solution. Yeah, but that played fine without it.

You should use tank controls. You should always use tank controls. You ever touch the nub, bully? Touch the nub. I'll touch the nub. Touch it, rub it. That's a laptop nub. That's a laptop nub.

Shit just works. It's kind of sliding off my finger though. Yeah. Well, you're sweaty all the time. No, I mean, it's actually like, slimy. It's slippery. Yeah.

And like the 3D just fucking works now that it has the face tracking. I don't think you can rely on that in a really fast way. No, no, that's why it's only for tertiary. So I'm gonna, you know, you can't play and I fuck with the 3D for a second. Yeah, totally.

You can't play a twin stick shooter with something like that. Yeah, probably not so successfully. But I don't, like, it just fucking works and it's faster and the OS is finally not bogged down. Like it shit just works. And like, I'm struck with the idea of like, man, this is just what they should have shift on day one, like.

And it's like, it's not a ridiculous sentiment. Like the OS- Yeah, I still hate 3D. Like the OS- The slow is something that couldn't be helped on day one, but like, man, they should have had that fucking second stick from day one. Absolutely.

That was something that we all knew should have been there. Let me see the 3D from different angles thing. Yeah. I still think it sucks personally. Hey, but it- I'll say it's a gigantic improvement, but I still think the 3D sucks. No, I like it.

It's a vast improvement. Okay, it doesn't work that well. Well, because you're black. Yeah. And you're in darkness right now. It's like I'm rotating about 45 degrees both ways. You would never play it further than a 45 degree angle. Certainly, certainly,

but I'm just imagining like, okay, let me drop it down a bit. Well, yeah. This is fine. Well, it's like playing a bus when a bus rocks back and forth as much as it will ever be. Yeah, yeah, see,

well, you're still in my camp. Cause like all it was was when you held it like this, you had to hold it like this. You had to hold it perfectly. You couldn't tilt it at all, but now you can get that little tilts, and it doesn't just fuck it up. Anyway, yeah, if you're going to get a 3D S,

get this one. Get the new one. Also, we were talking about this- Undeniably. We were talking about this before the podcast, but some games are run and look better also. Well, in the future, games that will support it.

Yeah. Your old games are not going to magically look or look better. No. But like Monster Hunter, for example, it gets better textures, better shadows, and I think it gets a better frame rate, but Liam disagreed-

Well, we'll have to- When I- When I see XL- Yeah, that's weird. You know, anyway. It's fucking- It's a way better 3D S. It's fucking better.

I think the interface stuff is like kind of embarrassing. The interface stuff? The interface on the 3D S original is like- The OS? Yeah, the OS stuff. It's like when the Wii U first came out, it's like, why is this so slow?

Because I hadn't used that kind of stuff on my 3D S in a while, and went back and said, Oh my God, this is so slow. It's really slow. Why does it take so long to get into the settings? Settings. Settings.

Settings is the one. Like, again, there were games like fucking Smash Bros. Well, actually, I think it was just Smash Bros. that had to fucking reboot the system into it. Guess what? It's a low OS mode. Guess what? If you play that Monster Hunter demo,

it does that too. Oh, really? Yeah. So, there you go. And these problems are totally gone. And finally, this is the first model of 3D S that does it. This is the first model of 3D S where the fucking thing doesn't touch the fucking screen.

Really? It's got these little nubs. Well, the XL has nubs. And it's such this. What's the thing? You gotta clarify. The order around the touch screen. Yes.

This is the first model where it doesn't touch the screen. The XL has nubs. The original XL has nubs, but they're not as pronounced as those nubs. The original XL doesn't save it either. There's pictures of people on the internet. Yeah. That's what happened to mine.

Mine too. I put it in my pocket, and the nubs sure didn't save it. Like, the idea that a handheld can scratch its own screen. A clamshell handheld damages its own fucking screen. Like, it makes me want to carry it around open. But the new 3D S and 3D S XL don't seem to do that. No, that's great.

No, I haven't really had too much of damage because of that. Neither have I. My clamshell consoles did all that much. I used it all that much. I used it quite a bit. I have, like, 800 hours of playtime on my 3D. Okay, but I mean, don't say I didn't use it that much. Well, no, but it's nothing about use.

I mean, it's a very specific scenario. I put it in my pocket and went somewhere, took it out of my pocket, and it had scratched itself through the screen protector. You're absolutely right that it was... Through the protector. You're totally right. And it was just like walking down St. Catherine.

You're totally right that it was disingenuous and shitty of me to accuse you of that. Because that was, like, me the stupid, but it is an exceedingly common problem that you can look up. It is very, very... The other problem that Liam and I have had with every single version of our 3DS is dust getting underneath the screen.

Yeah. Which I don't know if they fixed for this. I've seen people talking about it, and it's like, did they go in through the speakers? Yes. It must have been... No, that's how it is. It goes in through the speakers.

It's... Like, how do you fucking deal with that? You don't! You buy a new system! The 3DS, that is to say, the vanilla and the XL are, like, the flimsiest handhelds that Nintendo's ever made. Totally. And, like, the new 3DS finally, like, gets back to that Nintendo-

And you can tell just from people handling the new XL as well that it's also sturdier than the old XL. I wouldn't use the term Nintendo unless we see the video of it hitched to the back of a truck. And being dragged through a lava pit. And then playing Wave Race right afterwards. Yeah. And is the frame rate improved?

Yeah. No, exactly. But, I mean... And this hurts. It's just better. So let me ask you, you got the Japanese one that I gave to you. Yeah, exactly. Are you gonna get a North American one or something?

Yeah, so I can play English. Are you getting an XL or a... A new 3DS? I think I'm gonna swing for the XL. Yeah, I think you are. That, like, I like the new 3DS, the vanilla one, because it has a bigger screen than the vanilla vanilla 3DS. Yes, yes.

But not the original 3DS. They realized that the original screen size was actually too small. That said, like, I played this for a few hours and then you passed me yours just so I could look at Monster Hunter on the XL. And I was like, no, I want the big screen. So I'm not even gonna miss this necessarily. I'd rather the big screen. It's quite shit that you don't have the choice right away.

No, it is shit. So I was really pissed off about that until I played it on the 2DS and then played it on my XL and was like, actually, I do want the big screen. Damn it. Damn it. Are you pulling off the cover there? Yeah, it's just a little of it.

I wish I had one. I had bought a Yokai Watch one. That would have been great. You should have told them and then known you would buy one. I didn't want to buy one because I was... This is the absurd fear that I had that ended up being founded. I didn't want to buy one because I was worried that they would change the plastic on the North American ones

so that they would region lock the face plates. And when I brought that sentence up, people said, you're fucking crazy and then they region lock the face plates. Oh my god. Are you kidding me? Yeah. What?

Yeah, he is kidding me. No, no, that's... No, I actually thought that. And that insane thing came to pass in a sane way. Not quite the way you expected. Not quite the way I expected. Wow. Okay.

I'm not wrong. I mean... If I had bought a face plate, it would have been useless. Yeah, yeah. Like you're not wrong, but like... For the extreme... You didn't die in the way you said you would. Yeah, I know.

I'm not wrong, but my reasoning sure as hell wasn't right. Yeah. But it would have been spent. Yeah. So fine. Fine. But no. Matt, get this 3DS.

Yeah. What is going on? Matt, this is the last time... Last time I'll talk about a Parks and Rec. Yeah? Again, season 7 has started. It's off for the first two episodes. It's ludicrous.

It is absolutely insane the story threads that have now popped up. This is the new season. This is the new season. Is this like Archer Vice? Yes. Okay. Yeah. It is not like Archer Vice.

There's like... Because it got fucking bananas with Aziz Ansari's fucking weird business. Yeah. And now he's an actual mogul. Okay. He actually owns... He actually owns a portion of things going on. Geez.

We're going to... Other than the fact that April and Andy are just... We're boring now. We have to do weird things again. We're planning our weeks. Yeah. We're buying food. Yeah.

What happened eating things out of frisbees? See, I don't know. Babe, we can still do things. And then they start driving. That's how relationships are. They see this gross, scary house. They're like, let's buy this house. And I turned to my fiance and I go, it would be awesome if the house was haunted.

Of course. Do you even need to say that? They go inside and the house is haunted. Yeah. And they're going to buy it. Yeah. That's where that is. So I'm just super happy about that.

And I'm also really happy that you can definitely see when Andy leaves to go to England for a few months in season's prior, England meaning the galaxy. Get fucking rich. And now he's suddenly buff and they can't make him take his shirt off anymore because he'd be all buff. And they'd have to explain that. And he has to stay buffed for the rest of the Hollywood that wants him. Yes, to stay buff.

Jurassic Park is horrible. I know. We all struggle with it. He's got to stay buffed for Guardians of the Galaxy too at the very least. Everything. He's a superstar now. I'm amazed he's still on the show. So that's still really, really good.

No, he's great on the show. You can't have him. Yeah, but you know who else was great? Eric in fucking that 70's show. Yeah. Foreman. Foreman. Oh wait, they kept that going after he left.

Yeah, he went to Africa. Yeah, they should have cancelled the show. Well then they eventually did. And the other thing of note is that Ron now owns his own construction company called Very Good Construction and just said, I felt I needed a way to talk about the quality of the work without being flashy. That's amazing. It was amazing.

Like if someone had a company called Very Good Games, I would be interested. Yeah, fuck with it. I'd prefer Pretty Good Games. No, it's confidence and you know things are good, but it does not overshoot you. You've got to talk like a hot shit before you're actually a hot shit. Not very good. I watched a bunch of shitty movies because I'm going to make kind of, not a top ten, but I might make a thing of shitty movies and one of them which I'll all feel comfortable

talking about. Do you guys realize, do you guys remember Hercules came out during the summer? Yeah, Dwight Johnson's Hercules. No. There was a second Hercules movie that was released at the start of last year. Fuck you. I remember. I remember Rock's movie coming out and people were like, there was another Hercules movie

this year. The Hercules movie. With who? You saw the Hercules movie with Rock, right? And you were like, eh, it's like Mummy Returns. It's kind of dumb fun. This one is just really, really like not campy enough and not serious enough. So it stars nobody and it's directed by no one.

I love those. And it's the most like. It's spawned into existence. It has no one that I recognize except for Boris the Blade. Yeah. Isn't it? And that's it. The only thing of note is that.

He was the villain of Taken 2. He was. By the way, Taken 3 also garbage. That's sad. It's really bad. But the only thing that happens of note is that the entire movie that you never see, God, you never see, you see the worst CG I've ever seen was the Nominion Lion, which of course Hercules kills to where the Pelt and it's awesome.

And I always thought it was a gigantic lion. It's the size of like an elephant or a monster. No, he kills as a kid. And he kills as a kid. And this movie, this thing appears and it's the worst CG I've ever seen. It looks like a PlayStation 1. I was hoping you were going to say he's made of yarn. It cuts to a puppet of the lion's head just bobbing up and down.

And then all of a sudden it's Hercules just puts in a headlock and it just dies of exhaustion or whatever. And then it's never referenced again. And that's the only mythological thing until the very end where Hercules raises his fist to the sky. A lightning bolt shoots down and he has an electric whip and he starts whipping an army. And I go, okay, this is the most awesome thing I've ever seen. Okay. And it's just this one scene.

And that's the end. And it was just horrible, but like that was kind of worth it. Was it like any, was it decent? No, no. Except for that one scene. Like in the name of the king bad or? Uh, no. The name of the king is way, way worse and a dumber laugh at it way.

The movie ball is another category of fucking... Yes. But that's why I'm asking. It's only good movies postal. I don't have a bar for how bad this is because it's by no one and features no one. Yeah. Oh, I know. It's no, it's by nobody.

Dude, I remember postal when they shoot the kids. Yeah. That was the only credit of that though. Oh God. If David Cage ever became self-aware, he could make the greatest video. Did we ever tell the story on the podcast about Uwe Boll's explanation for that scene? I don't think so. Was that the day where he boxed the guy out?

Okay, so it was too early, but Pat and I went to go see the postal movie. The world premiere of postal. And Uwe Boll was here in the audience. Yeah, and he took questions afterwards and he did a little speech. And so after the movie... Why did they come to boomy? So there's a scene in postal. That movie is vile garbage.

I kind of love it. I much like the game. Because it's deliberately garbage. It's so bad. Yeah. But there's a scene in which there's a shootout at like an amusement park or something like that. And it just keeps cutting to like 15 different shots of just like eight years old and down. With squibs going on.

Being blown away. Some of them laughing as they're like... And there's kids who could not resist. If you look it up, there's a bunch where the squib goes off and then the kid falls down like two seconds later. It's so fucking bad. And Boll gets up and he's like... I can't do a German accent. But he's like, so I wanted to make the movie.

And everyone's like, no, you can't shoot the children. I said, but I want to shoot the children. So we have the shooting of the children in the movie. Now that's... That's the whole reason. To be fair, that's an airtight reason. You can't fucking find cracks in that. You can't tell me what to do.

And it's like, I want to do this. You watch Postal and just like the fucking scene where Jules Verne gets like sexually attacked by all those monkeys. And the one where the hick guys having sex with the fat lady. And he's dousing her with flour to find the wet spot. And all that fucking garbage. And just constant, never ending shots of Dave Foley's balls. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all over. And like every single time, it's a thing that I want out of more movies where you get halfway through the movie.

And the director says, and this is the part where I fuck the audience. This is the part where the audience regrets coming to the theater and goes, why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me? And that's a whole movie. And then the actual head of the Postal Dev team, this dude shows up. And I'm like, wow, God, it was amazing. It was an experience. I don't think anyone will ever be able to enjoy that movie as much as we did knowing that Uwe Boll was right there.

And he was laughing his ass off. Imagine if we saw Samurai Cop and the person that made the lion head was in the fucking audience. Well, the rest of the crew were there. In my Netflix adventures of looking at that, I saw that they just, as an aside, they made it up to Scorpion King 4. Damn. And it was released this year, as in 2015. Is it still a WWE thing? No, it's not.

But it's still the Rocks character. It's still the Rocks character. But someone else playing him, like James Bond or whatever. Do people walk into Walmart and still Scorpion King 5? Matt, this reminds me, you like James Bond, right? A lot. Did you know that now you can sell James Bond fucking whatever out of your house legally? Only in Canada and only to Canadians.

And only the books. Because the copyright on James Bond has expired in Canada only. So you can't sell it to Americans, you can't put it on the internet. Well, I don't have any of the novels, so... But if you wanted to write your own, James Bond's. Game fiction and then paying for it. No, it's not paying fiction anymore. Oh, it's Canada now.

That's awesome. That's what we're saying. The power. I also finished, if you saw, I got the Saga Volume 4. Nice. If you are interested in fiction and are not reading Saga... Oh, yeah. ...you are ruining your own life.

What's Saga about? Exactly. Anyway, so... I can't even... It's about a lot of things. It's about life. I feel guilty because I have all of them at home. It's about a lot of things, but it's just such a good read, man.

It's amazing. You need to get around them. It's just space opera. But with the tiniest space opera. You know what I mean? Like it's the most insignificant space opera, but it is. Why The Last Man was ongoing? I couldn't shut up about it to everybody.

I remember now this is that guy doing it again. Everything he writes is great. Brian K. Vaughan doing it again. And Fiona Staples isn't a me. Whenever I'm reading Saga and I look at every time a volume is going to get released, my life revolves around that date until I can buy the volume, because I don't like reading the individual 14-page monthly. It's just because it's such a tidbit of it,

and you want to see what the next thing is going to be. So whenever I'm reading it, I have a hard time deciding whether I like the art more than the writing. Because whenever the writing is just like whatever, it's just standard stuff. I'm like, look what's so good. But when the story or the dialogue takes over, and I'm just reading the words, I'm like, oh my god, the writing's so good. Exactly. Like, oh fuck.

I played a bunch of Shadow Warrior. I still kind of... Come on with that game. It's long. New one. It's long. Yeah, the new one. And it's still good.

It's just like there's some levels in the game that are just like, not where do I go, but okay, what do you want me to do here? Whereas the first three levels, and you saw them, they're straightforward. Go ahead and kill everything. So when it goes into like, what do I need to get around this, and what do I need to get around that? It kind of breaks the flow. You'd rather have one or the other, not both mixed between,

because then it slows down the pace, or whatever. But it's still fun. And the last kind of thing is that I went to the arcade, or the one arcade that we have left in the city. The one left in the city, yeah. And I think I told you, I played the Mario Kart, the newer Mario Kart that came out. Yeah, I saw that on the way by.

Yeah, and holy shit. I tried to take as much Namco stuff, select as much Namco weird things. I got the weird Namco course. And I took Pac-Man, and then I took Donkey Kong. And the thing about this game that is the most annoying thing I've ever seen in any Mario Kart thus far, is that there is an announcer that never shuts up

and constantly narrates every single thing that you do. Perfect. It's just, Donkey Kong takes the lead! Donkey Kong, use the item! Donkey Kong, sniffing up behind! I never thought about that in anything outside of Smash Bros. context. And I feel like it would just be the easiest way to ruin any of those Mario games.

Did you guys play WWE Crush Hour? We played it. That's hilarious, though. Yeah. But this is just a simple race call. Rikishi grabs the twisty rockets. Twisty rockets. But this track was a loop.

It was a circle. And there was nothing happening on the track. I'm just throwing the items. And the game looks good, I guess. But guess what? I won first place, and it says put more coins. Well, you didn't get a second race? No, I won.

And you didn't get a second one? No, I didn't. That's horseshit. What the fuck? That's horseshit. Yeah, that's terrible. The one thing I did play that was awesome. I think you've all heard me lament one time or another

where I really liked Arctic Thunder, which was the snowmobile version of Hydro Thunder. Hydro Thunder, yeah. Which is the water version. That had cool air shooting out of a fan in your face. Um, H2 Overdrive. Yeah, yeah. So there was a new game called Winter X Snowcross.

And I'm playing it, and it's the exact same thing. I'm on it. Sure it's not Winter X Snowcross. It's Winter Cross. It's Winter Cross. Maybe it is. God, we gotta have a week where we force ourselves to only play arcade games and only do arcade news in the podcast.

And see how that podcast turns 40 minutes. But like physical arcade things go to the place. We have one left. And it sucks. And it sucks. The podcast would be just talking about arcade games. Not from this place. There's two fighting games.

Can we drive to Toronto again? Yeah. That arcade would have it. But Winter X Snowcross, you get on the actual snowmobile, and you gotta like turn the fucking thing. But it's that dumb type of thing where you have a turbo button. You hit it three times. And after that, your turbo button just becomes throw snowballs.

And I'm like, that's what I want from my racing games. That's what drive clubs should have been. Yes. Actually throw snowballs out of the windows if you're caught. William, that could be pulled off at MagFest because they have the biggest fucking arcade. That's true. There's like a thousand arcade machines.

Play that game that we played at Takahata where you're both driving and controlling and steering at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just thinking of the Hummer game. It was just called Hummer, or whatever. Yeah, that game was insane. So that was really fun for a bit.

And then I was like, oh, all my coins are gone. I'm going to go home, though. Yeah. Because that's usually how the arcade goes. I can't buy or play any more things. No, that's it. And you walk out, you're just kind of looking around. It's like, wow, that's empty calories.

Yeah. Yeah, that was kind of on a dower note. But yeah, it's kind of my week. Man. I watched a lot of The Wire this week. HD. It's good. Good, good, good.

What can I say? It's real good. Spot on. All that empty space around people. So would you say... You complained about it. Yeah, no, no. That, no, I didn't complain.

I said it was just a little weird. It's not a problem. So would you say... What is a complaint is that when they want to retain the, when they want to retain the framing of a scene and then zoom in to the footage and you actually see the film grain? Like, whoops.

What season are you on? Three and a half. Okay. Because I was going to say goddammit, so I get on my way, or should I say goddammit du coin? Every season has a goddammit blank. What's that fucking aggro Polish cop

that works with her in season three? Oh, fuck, yeah. He's got that fucking stupid hair. He's got that not Mohawk. Yeah. Goddammit, whatever deck that fucking guy's name is. So would you say watch the wire HD instead of watching the original?

That's what I would say, yes. Absolutely. There's no question. You can buy it on fucking iTunes. So, you guys are going to be really proud of me. I did not put any money into Hearthstone. Yeah. Did you play it?

I played it. I've been playing it every day. I did not put any money into it. You put all of your money into it. The reason why I didn't put any money into it is not great, because... You're saying you maxed out your credit card. No, I still want to buy that expansion,

the next service expansion. And I'm like, well, I was hoping you'd say I used my mom's credit card. But I'm like, I'm going to see, you know, what cards I get from my next pack before I do that, right? But I have 160 coins. Yeah.

And the arena costs 150 coins, and a pack costs 100. Like, no, I kind of want to save it until I can hit zero so that I get the most... I get the most oomph out of opening the packs. And I kept hitting dailies, and I kept getting quests,

and I'm never hitting a goddamn even number which I can just spend it all to zero. Why might you say that we're designed almost deliverance? No. If you win, you get 10. So if I won more, I'd be able to do it. Oh, okay.

Never mind. Yeah. If you win three, you get 10. So I should... You can have a nice clean number. I should be able to even it out to a nice clean number, but I'm having trouble,

and I just keep pushing it until I can get that even number. And then I'm going to buy... And then I'm going to buy with the coins. This is a huge bunch of packs. And then I'm going to unlock them, and they have that fancy animation when you get a new pack of cards.

And then I'm going to buy that expansion. Doesn't have the sounds of opening a pack. Dude. Yeah, pretty much. Okay. Here's how it goes. Because I know that people that got into that have a ritual.

So here's the deal. Dota League and Hearthstone, all these kinds of games do this, where, okay, so you get your pack, right? And it just says you have one un... You have one sealed pack, or one unopened pack, right? So you go into the pack opening screen,

and all your packs are on the left side of the screen stacked on top of each other nicely. Yeah. You have to drag the pack into the pack opener slot. Yeah. And drop it. And when you drop it, it goes funk, like it weighs a million pounds.

Yeah. And dust shoots out, and then it starts to glow and power up, and then it explodes out into four different cards, five different cards. But then all the cards have their backs to you. And then you've got to turn them over one by one. And then you can turn them over one by one.

And this is the part of the process that is actually kind of astounding, because it's purely graphical, but it makes it way better. Because a Hearthstone card is a regular playing card, and it's got the character art in the middle, and the description at the bottom. It's got a little banner with the guy's name

in the middle part, right? Yeah. When it turns over, you see that the card is actually a three-dimensional object where they all exist in different parallax. Ah, I see what you mean. The character, there's 3D space inside the card. The banner actually comes off the front of the card,

and then it hits dead center, and then it locks back to being 2D. And if that card is a certain rarity, the fucking announcer for the game will yell out, Epic! As you turn the card over. I, card game, video games have been raising and upping the ante for years on how packed should be.

And you go back to the GBA Yu-Gi-Oh games and stuff, where it's fairly banal, but it still feels nice, because there's no microtransactions. You know, it's just, you know, you're opening virtual packs. And then, like, you get to today's, and, like, Hearthstone and Monster Monpeace, amongst others, have these, like, elaborate card opening sequences.

They're fucking, they're so good. They're trying to replicate the excitement of getting physical cards. No, but now it is blown. I just want special effects. But now, the confetti, I want the cold reality to hit you. You click buy now, and a text file opens up. You just stare at the five card, like, acronyms

in your text file. But now it's so far beyond the real excitement of opening up a card. Now, when I open a pack of cards, I want confetti to open. Exactly. Jeez, man. But that will never happen. Never.

And yeah. Wizards has to get their shit together. Do that game. I would pay double for packs with confetti in. That game's awesome. That game's really great. What else did I play? I played the Monster Hunter demo.

Like, like a lot. That's pretty good. So, if you get a demo on the 3D SE shop via a code, the demo becomes unlimited. Which is great, because I'm playing this thing four times a day, and we'll do so every day until the game comes out. That's not universally true.

Not every demo with a code. Didn't Smash have a limit, or am I crazy? Smash does not have. Smash doesn't have a limit, but a bunch of other games with codes did. Weird. Fucking weird. Anyway, this one doesn't have a limit,

so I'm playing it a lot. Those new weapons are so good, but you guys don't give a fucking shit. Will your save file carry over? Then what save file? No, it won't. For the demo? No, he means from 3 to 4.

What? No? No, I meant if you started a character, like Dragon's Dog mode. Oh, from the demo? No, the demo is like pick a weapon, and it gives you a premade character. Okay.

And they wouldn't be able to do that anyway, because you get to fight like the flagship monster in that demo, and you'd be able to, like, use his parts to become like, hilariously overpowered for most of the game. Yeah. It's like, oh, I've been playing a lot of Monster Hunter 4G, and it's like,

it's the best one. You know, they had a whole iteration to improve that we never saw, which was Monster Hunter Portable 3rd. You know, the last one we got was the one before that, and the improvements are varied and noticeable. Yeah.

Significantly better. It's a huge fucking show. I think it's the best Monster Hunter game there is. Well, yes, but it's the Monster Hunter. It's still Monster Hunter. Of course it's Monster Hunter. Like, I'm enjoying it. What?

Why wouldn't it not? I'm enjoying it a lot, because I find like, the new art, which, ever since Portable 3rd, the art really... Yeah. It got way better. Way overhauled. Less whivers.

Less bland. And the environments are not flat anymore, and that's really exciting and fun. Yeah, jumping is better than swimming. Jumping's fun, and I finally feel like Monster Hunter has a bit more of an identity, whereas, like, when Try came out, and then all the contemporary hunting games

came out with their unique... Monster Hunter kind of seemed the boring one. Yeah, because they all had their unique takes on hunting, right? Yeah. Swinging around. This one's got this. This one's got that.

Yeah. And Monster Hunter, now that it has this verticality to it, I feel like it has its identity back a little bit more. Nothing's great. That said, like... It is. I've been playing it a lot, but, like,

if you really don't like Monster Hunter, this isn't going to change your mind. But if you're, like, on the fence, like, that tutorial stuff really helps. That's why 4 is, like, 4 is 4 that way, right? To try to appeal to new people? Yeah, there's a story mode this time.

Yeah, the story's so, like, nothing, though. I hate it. Yeah, but... What do you mean? Why do you hate it? It's... I just don't like the character designs in Monster Hunter, so it's, like, uh...

Oh, that's a big deal. Like, you don't like the character design? When I look at that guy, what's his name? With the red armor? I don't know his fucking name. That guy, when I look at him, it's, like, I don't care about you. I don't want to talk to you.

No, but what you do care about is that you're going to get out of the next village. Yeah, exactly. And that's cool. So, it's good, though. There's a weird thing in that. Really good game. There's a thing in 4G that it's one of

these things that, like, hey, this would be amazing if it was possible for me to even appreciate it, because the city from Monster Hunter 2 is the final village in Monster Hunter 4G. Oh, no shame. That's awesome. But, Monster Hunter 2 never came out

in English, so you don't get that feeling. So, we were amazing. So, I look at screenshots, and one of the early trailers showed it off, and I was like, that looks like a cool city. But everyone who played Monster Hunter 2 goes, oh my god, we're finally going to the next village.

It's like, well, fuck. That's a hell of a sick thing to do. It's cool, but like, well, shit. Yeah. Because 2nd G had the fucking winner village. Different place. It's like those two weeks you spend in

Persona 4. Yeah. Persona 4, you're like... The field trip. Boy, I hope this thing, or just a waste of everyone's fucking time. Yeah, either this is the greatest thing in the game, or it's the worst

thing in the game, depending only on if you played the earlier one. Yeah, but that's basically my week. And that sequence of, hey, I played Hearthstone, and I played the Monster Hunter demo, is going to continue for 25 more days. At which point it will become

I'm playing Monster Hunter. Yes it is. Yes it is, Liam. I count it down, and check every morning. Just excited for Zelda. I don't think I'm going to get for Ultimate.

Well, you already have 4G. Exactly, I'm just going to stick with 4G. I don't like it enough that I'm going to play a ton of multiplayer or anything, so it's really good. I can't wait to fight the fucking Goron boss again, where you're

rolling around. Were you looking at any of the comparisons and the power footage that's available? I saw the stuff that popped up there. Shit, this is a fucking improved version if I've ever seen one. I saw someone say, I hate

these improvements. Why can't it just be the same game? Was this person on the internet? Yes. But I don't like that they improved the game. So I have a friend who doesn't like the saving changes.

He liked it how it was, and I get that, because that was kind of a part of the game's identity. But at the same time, it's hard to deny that this is going to improve it. If you're running an HDQ speedrun, you're allowed to

complain about the minor changes. It's the kind of thing where, because it's been with you for so long, it's hard to get over it. In this case, it's a mutual friend of ours. It's like his favorite game. He worked at the company we used

to work, may or may not have had an orange hair. It's like his favorite game ever. He's kind of bummed that the save thing has changed. It's my favorite Zelda, and I'm not going to hold that much of a fucking candle to it.

If your game is 15 years old, it's almost insulting not to try to improve some aspect of it. I think it's a modernization. The frame rate, the graphics. I think people would have complained if the save system was the same. Like newcomers.

I really didn't like the fact that Chrono Trigger had a loading when it came to the PlayStation port, but it was still Chrono Trigger. It had the FMVs added, and she liked that. I don't think that's a fair

comparison, because that loading is just a piece of...that just sucks. There's no benefit to that. That's not you being mad because it's different. That's you being mad because it sucks.

It's a hardware. It's not a trade-off. Where's the save thing? It's like, no, it's just different. It's not better or worse. Okay, Kirby Superstar. Yeah.

When they remade Superstar Ultra. Yeah. They added a bunch of cool shit to it, and some of the old little details were not the same as they used to be. Some of them just minor little things, animation, gameplay-wise,

whatever, and I kind of going in, waiting for that thing. I was like, oh, they didn't do that. It's not in this version of it. It sets your dynamo blades. Yeah. And that...it doesn't hurt, but

it's just like an aw, I really... It's a little niggly thing. It's a memory that I have that I cherished. If there were to re-release Yoshi's Island, and in one of the swamp levels, they, for whatever reason, got rid of the little frogs that

jump up and down and do nothing. Sure. Or like, that's something that would bug me. Or like, the one that I always fucking go to is like, you play Irregular Hunter X on the PSP, and the music remixes are weak by

comparison to the originals. Yeah. You listen to a remix of fucking Air...well, not Air. I call it Air-Based, because that's the OC remix of it. Storm Eagle. But Storm Eagle's theme, and you

want to hear a new version of that, and you're like, the official one should blow all remixes out of the water. Yeah. And it's the worst one. And that's sad. Yeah, it is.

Remember Giles' theme from Street Fighter IV, and how awesome that fucking thing is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that blew the remixes out of the water. Or that's what it's supposed to be. Or to even go like, like obvious

with it, safe or suffer off. Yeah, sure. In Advent Children. Absolutely. And that's how it's been trying to do this. You mean One Wing Angel. Here's the way how you prop...

You mean One Wing Daniel. One Wing Daniel. Sorry. Yeah, exactly. And this is like, how are you supposed to do it? Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, that was easy.

Do you remember the interview that was done with Umatsu after that? Where he said, where it's like, he's been having so much trouble doing this. Yeah, bands have been trying to do this for years, so I thought

it would be hard, but then I did it, and it was no problem. It was super easy. Yeah, no, it was super easy. He just grabbed his guitar listening to it and went, uh... Okay, yeah, did it. And then he was done.

He's a really good musician. Like, yeah. Um, the only change in Majora's mask that I'm not sure about, I didn't look into the details, but apparently the Bomber's Journal kind of guides you towards people now, and it was

like, oh, I'm not... I didn't look at how much it guides you. Well, I mean, if you already know, you're... I don't. I don't know it all. I never finished the game.

I... I just... I didn't know that. I did four of the dungeons, and I stopped. I didn't know that. I did four of the dungeons, and I stopped.

I didn't know that. I did four of the dungeons, and I stopped. So, like, I... Oh, my God. I did... That said, I know everything. Okay.

You know about the last area and what that looks like? I did. I know everything. Okay. I had a French strategy guide for that game that I poured over everything.

So, I'm actually really excited for Majora, because I got up to the second dungeon and just stopped, because... Because I was a dumb kid. It's top. It's top. And did not appreciate it,

and... And up until, like, a couple years ago, fucking hated Majora's Mask. And then... She was one of those people. I remember. I remember.

I don't want to be a kid again. It was a long time. I... I borrowed... I borrowed my friend... I don't want to be a Deku script for half an hour. Dude, I borrowed my...

I borrowed my... Just get over it. I borrowed my friends, Stevens and 64, and I played through and beat Oak Green of Time and then took the cart out and then put Majora's Mask in.

Yeah, that makes sense. So, the... I don't want to beat a kid again. I really don't want to be a Deku scrub. That was really strong. That was crazy fucking strong. How old people? I still hate that you're Kid Link

in that game. I fucking hate that. Oh, I don't know. I think Kid Link sucked shit in 3D. I'm totally okay with that. So, like, the proportioning... It's, you know, whatever the timeline that they followed and so on.

Well, I never finished Majora's Mask also, but that was because I could only rent it. Okay. And when I rented it again, so when my save file's gone, I could not buy it because I had to buy Mortal Kombat.

No time like the present. No time like the present. I want you guys to do it. I want you to make sure you get all the masks and then you know what to do. I know what happens. You know what to do.

Through and through what happens and it's awesome. Yes. But I never went to the place. Because there's a right way to beat that game in a wrong way. And it's really obvious when you do it.

And it's also, if you just haven't seen the later stuff in the game as well, like there's, like the stuff after the Zora missions and whatnot, like you really start to see a lot of the darkness

quote-unquote to it. Oh, I think it's all over the game. And just some of the sick stuff in the game, like the Giants Mask that a lot of people don't know about. Yeah, well, that mask is on another level.

I mean, the darkness is all over it, but I mean, you really see like, okay, they weren't... This wasn't a, like, slightly darker Zelda. It gets way darker. I think starting from the Zora area,

it gets a lot darker. Like it's already pretty bad when you first meet the deck and scrubs it everything. Yeah, yeah. But at the Zora's domain, I think that's where it is. Hey, look, this washed up dude

is dying on the beach. Can you help him? Not really. Okay. Just watch him die. Take his face. Take his face. Let's get into some game news then.

No. No, let's keep talking. Let's talk about Target. Yeah, I was going to say, Sony stores are all closing in Canada. Yeah, it's true. Sony's leaving too. Yeah, that's the one thing

I'm not going to miss. Well, their stores are fucking terrible. They are awful. Get out. Yeah. I did get a good deal on my Vita when I got it there though. It was the only store that had it

because no one went to that store. Yeah. So one thing that's going to be interesting is like we just got out of Zelda's final liquidation season that existed for like months. Yeah. And now we're getting right back in.

We got to get a new one. Now we're getting right back in. It's a bummer. No, there were bummers this week. Boy, we're there. Yeah, so we lost a couple people. Orega died. Orega being the vocalist that sang

the amazing Ghost of the Shell tracks for also the best tracks from Final Fantasy XIII II. Yes. And Exalted. Exalted. I just shook a boat. She worked.

She was bad. She a Russian singer that worked with Yoko Kano, who was fucking God-like legendary. Yeah, no voice. And yeah, she died unfortunately. Is Yoko Kano still in cryo sleep? Yoko, yeah, they have,

they release her every once in a while. Just like all those grandmas that voice Goku. You know, they're like, hey, we're making a scene. All the grandmas that voice Naruto. Yeah. Well, it's got to be like that. If you're making a new Ragnarok online,

well, defreeze Yoko Kano. Yeah. She'll score it. She'll score it. My grandma's Goku. Like, I think Nujibes was like probably the most painful one at the time back when that happened.

But also, Chikao Otsuka, the old guy that played Jinpachi. He played the voice of big boss. He was... Wasn't he Solid Snake too? Wait, Akio Otsuka? 85? No, no, no.

No, no, no. Chikao Otsuka. Chikao Otsuka. He played Dr. Peace. He played... Damn. I thought it was Akio. Not Solid Snake, by the way.

Yeah. No, no, no. Not Solid Snake, the older dude. Is also Otsuka? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. But yeah, not the guy that plays

him himself. Yeah, not Wammu. Okay. But Jinpachi, the really old, the ass-gravely voice guy. And you've heard him everywhere. Yeah, I know. I know that old man.

Yeah, he was in Lost Odyssey as well. Kingdom Hearts, all that stuff. And he died. He was 85. So he fucking... That's what happens when you get 85. He worked right up until the end there, yeah. You basically just die.

So that is a bummer for 2015. Fucking fuck up the podcast, dead guys. You shouldn't have died. Well, I bet they'd be pretty happy with that outcome. Yeah. Hey, when I die, feel free to just shit all over me. Just shit on me. Thanks for ruining the podcast, deady.

Pat's pants in his fucking... Yeah. In his funeral. Why is Pat's coffin just filled with human fecal matter? High-five. Is Pat even in there? No. He wanted it that way.

We sprinkled his ashes down the toilet. No, man. Leaf blower into, like, a grocery store. Like, as people are walking out. And remember, I want to be buried in a coffin all normal-like, and you gotta play comp, and then I'll burst out going, what the fuck? That's my favorite. Eenie meenie meenie meenie meenie meenie meenie meenie meenie meenie meenie meenie meenie

meenie meenie meenie meenie moe. Then they're... Then they tend to direct, obviously. Yeah, they tend to direct happen. We already touched a lot of it. You covered it, watching it live. I just want to say, in a clear voice, even though I'm getting the XL, I would have ended up getting the Monster Hunter XL.

Dude, it fucking sucks. No choice. That North America's not getting the regular New 3DS. Every other region gets the regular New 3DS. It's bullshit. That sucks. The only things I really have to tag on as far as the roundup goes is, fuck yeah, rainbow curse.

Let's go. What's Kirby? You played the first one, right? Yeah, of course. And you must really like Fierce Deity Link in the Majora's Mask pack for Hyrule Warriors. I wish that you played us him the entire time. I think that's too OP. But the trade-off to possibly wear other masks for other moves is decent.

Even if you at least had the Keaton mask. Yes. That's why I'm taking it. So there's that. I get you, but that's always being supersonic. No one would know. So I'll take Fierce Deity only or Kid with all of the masks. That's equally as fun.

Yo, called it. That's totally Lana's Skull Kid costume. Of course. And it's just a hairpin, so the costume's garbage and ruined. That's fine. Going back looking at Ocarina of Time costume, like it looks so basic nowadays, especially compared to Hyrule Warriors Impa. And Skyward Impa as well.

Yeah, yeah. Of course. They're pretty similar. But when I looked at Ocarina of Time costume, I was like, I would never select this. It's not her worst costume. What's her worst costume? I think her worst costume is the one from Oracle of Seasons and Ages. I don't even remember what it looked like.

Yeah. Google that one. Because that one's like, I'll just get a picture of that. But no, ultimately there's that. Project Treasure, whatever the fuck that is, I am super interested. You're super interested in that. But did you see someone said like that? That's Cosmos right there.

Yeah. One of the characters is just fucking Cosmos. Oh, the mouth of the girl. You can see her metal Cosmos head, baby. Okay. It looks like it's clearly her. So someone's saying it might be like Namco kind of all-stars. Yeah, and they like that.

That's a character like that. That being said, I think we touched upon it, and I'm not sure if you looked at the entire thing in its entirety. That's Impa from Oracle. Well, you know, that's interesting choice, you know, for sure, but... Chubby girl. That direct could have been improved hugely by just reshuffling the announcement. Oh, yeah.

The pacing of that thing was like backwards. It was totally backwards. 70% rate, 30% really born. So why was the boring shit all at the end? Now we said, have that Majora's stuff at the start, have Fire Emblem at the end, and that would have been fine. Just do that. Actual footage or a name of Namco Treasure Game Fun Time.

Well, no, this is the announcement of its existence. I know, but I don't... I don't think you should announce games with a man sitting there telling you that he has nothing to show. I agree, but Nintendo Direct has notoriously announced things when they were just a twinkle in someone's eye. I'm kind of amazed that... Fire Emblem crossed him.

Yeah. We were sure that's what it was. I am shocked that not even a single word about that. It is a piece of paper on a desk somewhere and they announced it. It can't possibly... They said it's in development. It can't still be that, right? No, it's a game.

But the only thing that can be is that it's almost done and they're going to have a Direct right before it comes out. Before it. I'm really not liking these working product titles like the new Fire Emblem or the latest in the Fire Emblem series. It should be called Fire Emblem... Like, stop it! Just say Fire Emblem TBA.

I thought... I was happy with TBA. Well, you know what? I thought Smash Brothers for 3DS and for Wii U were working titles. Smash Brothers for 3DS and for Wii U is the worst name. I thought those were working titles that we're going to switch up. It just betrays like a total lack of creativity. You couldn't find a word?

It's not even that you came up with a concept and you're like, well, let's put that in the Fire Emblem. They're like, it's the next Fire Emblem. We'll do something to it, I guess. Yeah, I really hope that's the final name. I don't want that to be the final name so bad. I don't boycott that title. New Super Mario Bros. World?

Did you play the new Super Mario Bros. Bros. 3D? You mean the new Super Mario Bros. 3D? No, no, no. The new Super Mario Bros. 3D. I had a conversation last night with my girlfriend in which we were talking. She had the same conversation. She asked me if I knew any good Xbox One games for a friend of hers. Yeah.

And I had to ask her, okay, because she typed Xbox and then one with the number. Number. And I said, okay, which console do you mean? And she said, never mind. Okay. And then later, we were talking about the 3DS and the new 3DS and the new XL and how you might have to get a new used 3D XL. They should have called it the Super 3D.

Or a used new 3D. Everything's name is garbage. I would love to think that if anyone says Xbox One, they automatically mean the old one because clearly we're talking about the X-Bone. Yes, exactly. That's the only way to make it go. We have trained ourselves to say OG Xbox now. Yeah.

That's all I do. I still just call it Xbox. And I expect people to understand what I'm saying. It's like a brand name now, you know. Fuck you. That's what it's called. I like OG Xbox. I like OG Xbox.

Do you want to play new Super Mario Bros. 2 on the new 3DS that came out two years ago? Like that's going to happen eventually. Well already, New Super Mario Bros. is the name of two games. It's the name of four games. New Super Mario Bros. 2 and New Super Mario Bros. 2. No, not 3DS. New Super Mario Bros. 2. There's a game called New Super Mario Bros. 2.

Can't wait for New Super Mario Bros. 3D World. Or 3D Continent. 3D World is its own thing. It's either 3D World or 3D Land depending if it's on a console or a handheld. Then New is always bad 2D. That's what I like into that. I wish they would just take this table of Mario and just flip it on its side slowly. And just let it all drop off and just try again.

I think I've spoken about it before. I don't like how the design for Mario and Co. has been super homogenized since New Super Mario Bros. Oh yeah. It's all the same. Ever since New Super Mario Bros. that is how Mario looks in every game. Whereas before that he looked different all the time. I really enjoyed it. The guy from 64 does not look like the guy from Sunshine.

Let alone the first three. So the direction that I thought we were going in when Galaxy came out. Unlike Link. You know what I mean? Yeah exactly. When Galaxy came out I was like that's awesome because that's taking the whole world's concept to the next level. And I'm down with the suffix. I guess whatever you want to call it.

But you know you had Mario Land World. Suffix. Yeah you know what I mean? Galaxy. It's great. I'm like yeah now you're thinking with progression. The problem with Galaxy is how do you go on that. Yes not even.

Reality. I don't. What? You're in like that. What about Super Mario timeline? You mean Mario's time machine? You make Super Mario forever I guess. That's the best thing.

After Galaxy we're finally getting Mario Maker. That actually is the most logical step. Or Generations. Sonic did it. But yeah. That's good. The fucking Project Steam already was pretty happy with that going. And then the inclusion of Fire Emblem characters is the weirdest.

It's the weirdest. Where did that come from? I was already pretty excited for it. And I'm even more excited that I could just use Fire Emblem characters. And so it's a de facto Fire Emblem game. Assuming you get your iKamiba. Dude I've already got it pre-order on lock. Pre-order doesn't mean on lock.

From Amazon it does. Yeah. From trusted companies it does. And they have a smash find. You know what? There is something I wanted to bring up about the new 3DS. It's the fucking piss poor handling of all the bundles in the limited editions. All today I've been reading people saying,

So blank retailer just called me up and just refunded my fucking Majora's Mask 3DS because they didn't actually have enough. Whoops. I don't know if I mentioned it to you. I've been considering pre-ordering like a hundred amiibos of the next wave and just getting a hundred of them. And then scalping them for the same price. Come on.

Just so that nobody can scalp them. Oh, I see. Like why? I'll step in the way. Counter-scalping. I will borrow more money to scalp them. Max, you'll put like a dollar extra on one so that it's like your time. Just the shipping.

It's the shipping. So this is a scalping. Counter-scalping. Yeah, exactly. But I've really been considering counter-scalping. You were pushing your Pokemon stuff. Yeah, exactly. Scalper's got that Majora 3DS so fucking bad.

I always find it's a real hard balancing act between putting out too many special editions of like the Mortal... I still see Mortal Kombat special editions with the thing. I still see Halo legendary bundles and you waste a ton of money and they're just sitting there and they're stupid and it's kind of embarrassing. And then when you under ship and then like no one is happy... Okay, so ever since the fucking crash, ever since the fucking crash back in the 80s, Game Retail has been fucked up like this where everyone is terrified of overshipping.

Yeah. Right? Well, as you should be. Sure. But like... Then you have to refund the company. Yeah, why don't... If it's something like this, why not just announce the thing farther in advance

and plan your fucking shipments accordingly? Oh wow, that sounds like a reasonable idea. Okay, if you're going to pre-order this thing, if they didn't want to flash announce it, say they had to be like, hey look, it's out, it'll be out in a month. Yeah. Why don't you just announce this thing five months ago, take orders directly on the Nintendo website and say if you order it up until this date, you are 100% guaranteed to get it because we're going to make it.

Make it. Yeah. There's another shitty situation that like isn't even like... And that works with the Mimos too, that logic. Like... Yeah, there's another situation that isn't even like crossing North American players' minds, but the other one is in North America retailers are just going to fucking buy Majora's Mask. Just get as many copies on the shelf as you can.

But in Japan, I read a couple things from some retailers where they weren't super happy about the one month turnaround because they don't know how much stock of Majora's Mask to order because they haven't had time to get pre-order numbers for it. Okay. And because Zelda's not a huge, huge seller there. Yeah, it's not nearly there. It's like how many copies do we order of Majora? Like, you know what I mean?

Because there's only like a month really to collect pre-order numbers. Okay. Whereas usually it'd be like you announce a game for like seven plus months from now. Yeah. And they have a big time to build up and see how... And Japanese game retail is super fucked up. Super fucked up. Even compared to here.

Because everyone resells their shit. There's some Japanese retailers who are like, we're not happy with this one month turnaround. But Nintendo will be happy because though they intentionally limit fucking shipping runs of games so that you have to buy it on the eShop. Yeah. And the modern age of video game, and I think it comes down to like fucking marketing is the thing that like is universal across whoever is developing a game they go, don't talk about it yet.

It'll fuck up our entire marketing plan. Oh no, shut up. I was there when they were like, oh no, shut up when he announced Super, the date for Super. And they were like, oh my god, he fucked everything up. And like no matter if it's a Japanese company or an American company, it's an indie. First of all, indies are a little, you know, whatever. Yeah. But my sister majored in marketing.

And it's the first thing that's like you have to have a plan. You have to look at the calendar dates. Yeah. And if anything gets fucked up and everything gets leaked, guess what? Like your entire plan is fucked. Completely redo the whole fucking thing. Yeah. And it's like this is like that's, if this, if there is a special, like that's why the

special edition is like, if you pre-ordered, what was it? If you pre-ordered Ocarina, you got Master Quest. Master Quest. Master Quest, yeah. You pre-ordered Wind Waker. Wind Waker. And that was the most awesome thing and almost everyone got it. That wanted it, let's say.

Yeah. Like roughly compared to now. It is super far in advance. It is super far in advance. But you can't have your cake and eat it too because Tekken Cross Street Fighter was announced super far in advance. And you guys shit on that. You know, like.

Wait for what aspect? I'm saying like every aspect. Every aspect of it just because you heard about it too early. So like there is a point where it's too early. No, it's talking about the game in terms of all the characters. I'm talking about an announcement for a game. And the deliberate like. I'm not talking about games.

That's the difference. Yeah. I'm talking about hardware. I'm talking about physical manufacturing. Things like Amoeba. Things like Amoeba. Yeah. Yes.

Okay. Because like a game, like if you advance it's super far in advance. You don't have to worry about games selling out anymore. Right? Yeah. You'll buy it on Amazon. You'll buy it digitally. Well, people are like, I want to get guilty gear.

I can't find it. What do I do? And I'm like, just fucking download it nerd. Yeah. Shut up dude. Yeah. Exactly. But hardware, especially like gaming, like console hardware or handheld hardware, like,

or Amoebos, like this is actually going to be physically supply limited. It's the kind of thing where it's like Nintendo. Do you really, really think it's a bad idea to slightly over ship Majora's Mask 3DS's? Really? You don't think those will completely sell out during the holidays this year? Like this isn't the goddamn legendary edition of Halo 3. Okay. It's not, it's not even a bundle.

It's just a fancy looking 3DS. It's not, it's not a Mario Tennis branded. Hey, but let's remember. It is a fucking Zelda branded 3DS. This, this is the same division of fucking Nintendo that won't even send out the regular 3DS or a white 3DS or like. And, and as you just said, like if they can drive you over to the eShop, that's not a bad thing for them.

I'm going to get Majora on the eShop. If they can make you, if you could download a new console from the eShop. So, so, so that's, that's, that was my takeaway, like that I got like when I was at the height of being pissed off over the new 3DS thing. I was thinking back to that old dumb ad of like you wouldn't download a car. Yeah. I could download the new 3DS. I would.

But it comes back to what I said before. It's a marketing guy said, well no one buys these colors in North America. Everyone in North America is fat. Why would they require a smaller 3DS? This one clearly sells better and fuck the people that want a choice. But our data indicates that no one, it doesn't matter what the data says. There's still a subset of people that want this or want that. I would at least have like some sort of empathy for the idea of like no new 3DS or no white

car have you if they fucking include a charger with it. Yeah. I am so upset about that and like I was on, I was on the, I was kind of blown away at how not upset I am about that. I was pouring over a thread, a 3DS thread and I was like, am I on drugs or something? Why are people defending this? I think defending it is hilarious. Because like, but I also can't find the, the, the, the wherewithal to get upset.

It's not a shitty situation for me as I own multiple. Three. But it is definitely garbage for anyone who's getting into your life. The 3DS has progressively gotten more expensive to the point that in Canada it costs as much as a launch 3DS. Yeah. Which is $240. So when I bought the Monster Hunter bundle, it cost me $298.

In Canada it's $240 for a new 3DS and a charger. Like. Yeah. And I have the charge. Nah, it's, it's not great man. It's, it's terrible. And like it's a two to $3 product. This is not, I'm not pulling a number out of my ass.

Apple pays for their charger. Yeah. This is what Google pays for their charger. Well this is a proprietary charger, remember. It's the same thing. And it sells for eight. It sells for 13. It sells for 13.

Man. I was, I was in Target the other day and it sells for 13. I saw it for 10, but regardless. Like. Really. But that's what I'm saying. It's a $2 thing. They're not passing a saving on to you.

They're not, they're just charging you more. Yeah. And they're, they're reasoning for it was we don't want to make consumers pay for the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. The same thing twice. It would have still been $200.

So they don't want to give you choices on colors or models, but they do want to give you choices on adapters. And now you got to pay more. And I was upset about it when it happened in Japan. And now I'm even more upset that it happened here. It's like this should not fucking happen. The battery life is still not great on this machine. It's exactly the same as the XL.

It is still not great. Yeah. And like not having a charger for this, like it'll be dead in a day of playing. Like. I know this is on the docket. So I'm feel pretty confident about this segue. Nintendo does. No.

What? Because we're not, I just wanted to say. Damn it. I had a segue. It was so ready. All right. Well, hold it. You'll get your segue.

Well, you know, just the last thing I was going to say being. Fucking asshole. Blame Dean Kramer for that. It's his fault. After Burner and Ace Combat. Fuck yeah. I'm really happy that those are showing up. Yep.

And I think are we going to take, are we all going to take this opportunity to beat Xeno blade finally? I'll give it a try again. Yeah. I will. I will. I will. I will.

I will take the opportunity of the game coming out on 3DS to go back to the Wii version and start over. Okay. Yeah. It's the same thing for me for any other game. That's a hundred hours. No. Okay.

You just, you just absolutely refused to play a game over a certain length. Not now with my life the way it is. There's no earthly way I could. It's the kind of thing where it's like, I'll see where I'm at with codename steam, which comes out exactly 30 days before it, right? And no way. Who am I kidding? Bloodborne and Monster Hunter.

There's no fucking chance. Also Mario Party 10, I don't know if like, no online for that fucking name. Can you believe that? It looks really good. I'm kind of upset because like. The amiibo system that you were theoretically talking about is not a hundred percent better. Like for what reason can I not play as little macromarth? Like for what good reason?

No. You asked an impossible question because you asked for what good reason. I can give you a dozen reasons. Yeah, no. But none of them are good. There's tons of good reasons. There's tons of bad reasons. Because they'd have to get Pac-Man in there?

No. I mean, whatever. Just support a few. They clearly have no problem picking and choosing, right? Why is it more thin? I don't think they want to introduce Shulk to the Nintendo family. Yeah, but it's like. He's a first party character.

But you know what I mean? It's an actual. But at the same time, it's like no one has to know. It doesn't say you can use Shulk on it. You know? Like it's not like they're like some kids going to cry because Shulk's appearing on the box. Like you know, let's not forget that they that when um. What do you call it?

Paper Mario's extra characters and whatnot. All the ones that they're like getting rid of all these fucking extras. Sticker star. They don't belong. Sticker star. Don't make it. They don't belong in the family. Only use established Mario characters.

Sticker star is so fucking bad. So you being a guest in Smash Brothers doesn't mean you're like important. You got one invite to the one dinner table. I want to take a second to say fuck you to Nintendo of Australia for posting that fucking boost power F-Zero image instead of Nintendo Direct News making everyone think that an F-Zero thing was going to happen and nothing happened. Now I complain on my trial. I was like you know what?

Actually I'm calling for the reflection. Fuck this Direct. Because it had no like people like oh but it's a spring thing. But I'm like you can have a spring thing but they had stuff in there that wasn't spring. This is a company that will announce games that don't exist. Yes. That was a game that was never going to exist for like a whole year. Announce like please just the Fatal Frame 5 localization.

Announce and we have something cooking for zero fans and just have another talking head that says. I mean they didn't even talk about Star Fox. Star Fox. Now I assume that's because Star Fox will get its own Nintendo Direct. I think it's going to be one of the big E3 things. Directs are getting scarce enough and far and few in between enough that I think like it's obvious they don't have that much to spread it out.

Yeah that's right. As much as you originally thought you know. So we're getting them in these chunks. But they do and they don't. Like you were saying with Fatal Frame I'm like I'm still really mad about Nintendo's refusal to localize some of their games. Like what? Like Digaso Van Brothers on 3DS.

What's that? It's a rhythm game. Oh. What? Would you say you're as mad as I was for the longest time over Yakuza? No. Because the difference is this is region locked. Okay.

The difference is I don't even have a choice. I can't even optionally learn Japanese. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're right. It is a wrinkle to add into that. It's a wrinkle and like Yakuza's heavy on Japanese so it kind of like. What's your thank you?

Drop your thank you. Also like now it's blown because it was all about choices. It was leading off of choice like Nintendo doesn't want to give you any choices. But you know who does want to give you choices? The guys making it all. Oh yeah. Yes. And that's what I want to talk about.

All the choices you get. The mobile game? What? No that's not. What the fuck? They announced a match three game for Evolve that lets you level up your hunter with a match three game. Fuck off.

Now this all sucks for us because we all played Evolve. And it's awesome. It is a fun ass game. Like me and Willie who are not maybe as into especially competitive multiplayer or like you know something like that. We're in a single player and I just was like whoa this is really cool and fun. I played a lot of those kinds of games and dude that is a very good version of that kind of game.

What sucks is that I think since you know most of us you know have worked in you know development close to it at least. Not me. This is clearly a thing where a publisher is like yo it's that time to start fucking people over. So here's our timeline of DLC events that I tabulated for myself. Cause I wanted to know. And also Jim Sterling thanks a lot you helped out because I just watched his video on the

subject. That really clarified it. And his description of this is a game that fell out of the bullshit tree and hit every branch on the way down is excellent. It did though. Did he start with it being a THQ? No. Cause that's the first step of it falling out of the bullshit tree.

So the first thing not you cause you knew about the game before Liam. I knew it was. The first time anyone ever heard of Evolve was the fucking piece of art to pre-order the monster pack. Oh my god you're right. That was the very very first thing that happened. I have such a rose colored like sentiment. Yeah cause you saw it.

Cause I saw it so far in the past. But for me and Matt and William for most people it was the first thing that ever happened was we saw a pre-order thing and then the game informer thing happened. Yeah. And then we heard from the head of the studio it's like we've built this game to support DLC like no game we've ever made before. Clearly. Which set off some fucking alarm bells.

They do have some good DLC practices in there but I'll let you go for it. That set off some alarm bells. Definitely. And then just time went on and they'd show off hey here's the big alpha. Here here's the thing. Now here's exclusive here like whatever. Now here the game's gone gold. Now do you want to play the beta?

Like that announcement back to back of the game's gone gold and the beta's available. Like yeah. Okay mixed messages. So like if all the announcements. You're just lying to me. I'm playing almost a gold version. If all the announces that this is like last week or something. That the monster pack that you would get for free pre-ordering is $15 for one monster.

And that there's also a season pass which is $30. That includes more hunters and skins. Four new playable hunters one in each class. And then there's the PC monster race edition which by the way way to just run that joke about the fucking dirt which is like $130 and includes the DLC for an extra two hunters and an unnamed fifth monster. You get a bunch of shit for pre-ordering as well. You get the monster pack for free.

Yeah. You don't need to correct me. No I want a predator. Me too. Oh god. I'm one of the new monsters wasn't it? There's still a fourth. And so in talking to the head of the studio I forget who was it.

It could have been your gamer. It could have been anyone. Yeah. But basically the statement hey man we only make the game. It's up to 2k to sell it. Yeah. Came out. And that's what's happening.

They were very adamant. The Turtle Rock guys that maps would be free. They didn't want a game in which maps would not be free because they hate splitting the community. And they were adamant that no matter what DLC you owned you would always be able to play in every game. And they actually succeeded in that. And they succeeded.

And so I can see. But $15 monster is this better? So hold on. No. See that's where I can see this is where I'm willing to give Turtle Rock the benefit of the doubt and 2k not the benefit of the doubt. Because I can easily believe that they wanted that and then they would say and then price the monster reasonably and then price the hunters reasonably.

But because 2k saw it well if you're going to give away free maps the money has to add up to this by the end of it. And that's how you end up with $15 monster instead of the pack that includes the monster, the map, the hunter, fur, etc. I think the monsters are extraordinarily expensive. That said I prefer not splitting the community like that. Like I'd rather be able to play all the content or less or at least see it in the game. Like content but there's a division of the type of content.

No I can still play against that monster. You can always play against it. I can still be partnered with the hunter. You can always join any game. I prefer having that and just I'll just wait for the sale. If you don't have the map you can't join. You know I'll wait for the monster to drop to half price. I feel like we're looking at a developer that actually tried to do it the good way and

then ended up hitting the modern reality. Which was well the money's got to happen. For 2k this game is not even that expensive because it was already partially funded and developed in another place altogether. It wasn't that far. Yeah you said you saw it you're like it was not the art was nothing. When I saw it like when THQ went down Evolve had no art. And also what the game costs doesn't have anything to do with how much they're going to charge for it.

I know that but for a developer to like if someone's going to interview 2k they can't possibly use that as an excuse. This is so expensive. It's fucking 2k. Everyone's screaming at them. Oh god that smack to me of the publisher taking a pointy stick and pointing it at the head of Turtle Rock. Get out there.

Because they can't do it. If a publisher comes out and says everyone's going to call bullshit. You pretty much said like the priority was to not split the community for them. Which I think is the right choice. And the whole thing with DLC and whatnot is that if they thought they would have had all those things completed by the time the game was going to ship they would have put them on the disc. But none of it's actually going to be done by the time it's... And this game was delayed like 4 months too.

Like you're going to be under heavy patch control for the first in a while to get to play online because you need to be able to fight against these things. Rest in peace Xbox One users. Fuck man. I am so bummed out by this because I was really looking forward to evolve and this has made it so there's no way for me to buy the game without feeling ripped off. In some way. I don't know if I feel ripped off but I feel sour a little bit.

Well even if I get the game in pre-order I'm going to pre-order it because I have to know. But say I get the game and the monster is great and I'm like well I got the monster for free and I end up playing the game all the time I'm still going to be grossed out. And that's affecting like how I feel about the game now. Like there's a lot of people I don't doubt that there are a lot of people that this game went from being excited to to like completely forgetting. Me and you we talked about it first right when it happened and both of us were just like oh man this is such a bummer.

It doesn't push it off the cliff because it was still a really fucking thing. Yeah because we played it. It doesn't get pushed off the cliff. You're right. You didn't get hands on. And I think that's why they keep pushing the beta and the alpha and the fucking thing out to everyone. When you play it it's good. I have a couple friends who are loving it on Facebook.

When you mentioned it before I was trying to think how would I feel about it. I didn't know everything. If we had not played this at PAX I would be shitting all over this game right now. But it's about feeling grossed out. Is that like sometimes I need to separate myself from the quality of a developed product versus the practices that almost all developed products are under a publisher's roof where they say well I've got to do this. You have to do this.

And like when I'm playing a game it's like I'm grossed out the publisher forcing this on it. But they're the developers. Ultimately they're locked in a contract and there's only so much leeway where they can say we're not going to do this. We're not going to do this. And not everything can be indie darling releases. No we can't. Whatever they want.

These guys went through hell to get this game to come out like. Fucking development nightmare right. Like. Yeah. I'm hard pressed to think of other games that went through this much shit. And everything we're seeing is definitely part of that story coming to a head where it's like well in the end this is how the money is going to go. I feel like this we can look at this and we get to see it a little bit more inside because

you saw it and you know it's been playable for longer. I feel like this is not exactly the same but there are a lot of similar elements to what happened with Destiny. In that in like the lead up to release and then the content and then the money and stuff like that or it's just like whoops. The only difference will be like when you get this game you'll have a really fun game. And you know just be bored. And the most honest thing I think I can do like the cleanest I can feel with this is

like prior to get that shit play the game as is playing and then see how that goes. I'm going to wait for the first like 50% sale on PSN and buy it digitally because I feel like this is the kind of game that's just going to like ironically evolve over time in a way that I don't want to keep putting my disk in. So I'm going to wait for the digital sale and get that. It's going to keep getting patches. Also for me a game like this I'm I have if I want if I know I don't want I don't want I don't want to play against mouse users.

Okay. Straight up. Right. I don't I'm not young enough anymore. I don't even do that. We played evolve at the. I can't do it anymore. But for a game like this like if I want to get into it I have to get in a day one because

if I go in well if I go in month two just just throw my money in the toilet. Well I was going to say you're getting a day one or Liam you're going to wait and wait for the first time. Matt what do you think? I don't know. You get the PS4 version we'll play. All right. And then we'll be disappointed and people will tell us that we're dumb.

And then they'll be right. And then they'll announce the Predator. Yeah. And then you'll be like I don't care how much it costs. Did that all get it? Even if it's not the Predator but it's the human sized guy? No you know what it's going to be. It's going to be the Van Damme version of the Predator.

Oh god. With the fucking weird long neck. Fucking Birdman. Fucking Harvey Birdman thing. I'm kind of surprised this game doesn't have like a shoehorned in Hunter vs. Hunter mode. I think that's like one of my favorite things about it. I know me too. You just can't shoot humans.

I'm kind of waiting for it and I'm kind of like I think I'm going to get to that 1.3 patch and bring in a big PvP mode. You know what I mean? But you know you have to balance the game differently when you do that. Oh yeah. It's the kind of thing where I'd see it. Then you just get into normal shooter territory. It's the kind of thing where I'd see it and I'd be like and then after a while I'd start

to know. Monster vs. monster. You're going to see like yeah it's all right. Wine. Wine. Yeah. How do you feel about Metroid Prime 2 Echo's multiplayer? Oh fuck off.

Yeah exactly. That's the thing where it's like yeah. But that was at least designed around it. There's a way better example of a game that you've played. There was a couple months in which there was a playlist in Titanfall that had no Titans. It's like wait and then that game sucks compared to Call of Duty. Oh my god. Because Call of Duty does that exact same thing better than Titanfall.

Well hyper running and jumping is fine but without the fucking mech payoff. It's like wait and then it's the name of your game. It's the name of your game. That's the news. Okay well whatever. Speaking of and then if you want to keep. Games are coming out too early. Speaking of publishers.

Even ones that got to late. Even ones that got to late. This deal is kind of funny to me actually. Final Five of Games buys the brothers IP from Starbreeze. The brothers IP from Starbreeze. For a cool half million dollars. That's a good pick up I guess. That's a pick up.

That's not an IP. But that's the problem. It technically is. I was like wait. The reason why is because Starbreeze is not nearly as high up the totem pole as they used to be. I was going to say too this is like a big hit for 505. 505 games Christ. I think the only good things they have credited to them is they do the publishing for Terraria on consoles.

No theirs theirs. They do the publishing for Payday 2 on consoles. And they had brothers of course. They had a while ago they had Armored Core. But when I think of 505 my head also jumps to Majesco. No. But 505 had a lot. The 505 based Scythe and Filter?

No. That was 989. Yeah. Let me say no no no 505 has quite a few things. Well they have a lot but it's mostly Garbage. It's mostly Garbage but there's some not Garbage on the list. I was working on a game called My Coach at THQ. It was tons of fun because it was a fitness game with Kinect.

That's fun to work on. And this is as a publisher because as a developer they put out nothing but Garbage. Yeah exactly. They picked up My Coach after THQ. Yeah they put out AC Formula Fun. They put out Ninebreaker. That's a long time ago. Yeah but that's what I mean.

From back in the day till now. You're only as good as your last shot. They put out Isuka. Yeah that explains it. Like your Petey Kingdom. I know that one. Harvest Moon. But that's a different face of 505.

That's not where they're at in life. No. Wild Arms 4. It's true though. They don't do any job. No I'm just giggling at the way you phrased that. They were 505 Game Street back then. Six.

So we're on Game Street now. In any case. They have a bunch. But yeah this is just kind of like I guess you make the game called Sisters after or after. That's not the. No. You don't have the rights to Sisters.

Brothers to the Revenge. Those two. A Tale of Two Sisters. Can you imagine. Can you imagine a twin stick shooter where you control both characters. That's insane. You just shoot in the direction. You just shoot in the direction.

That's free money. Just spitballing. That's free money right there. I feel like this is an expensive acquisition to just be able to legally make the brothers lunchbox or something like that. Because this is the most baffling shit ever. Oh man. Brother to the breakfast shirt.

Gil is in the fucking marketing room convincing them that they can do the Angry Birds route. They can get activated series. I have that fucking scene from Spaceballs in my head. Where yogurt's going down the whole product line for Spaceballs. Spaceballs the toilet paper. Spaceballs the sheets. Spaceballs the flamethrower. What a good scene.

Yeah. And you know Starbreeze is just working on their new IPs so they don't fuck it. Yeah their new IPs. And they're like fuck it is a twin stick shooter with two characters. How'd they know? Two hobos in a screen. And like I'm speaking of developers that have IPs that they let go. Rock band surveys are now flying out.

And I don't know if you took it or read it. I did not. One puts out new DLC for the first time in years. What the fuck. And that's the crazy shit. And then follows it up with this survey and they basically are asking you questions like okay so how do you feel about Rock Band now? And also like now the instruments do you still have?

Yeah yeah you know now that some time has passed and you know the dust has settled. Like do you still feel like you'd buy a new instrument? No the site guys just over guys. What was fun about it back then? What made you learning? So this weekend I went to a dusty old collector store and I saw a veritable garage full of plastic instruments that people sold. Because I think it's like first of all harmonics they put out a couple of kick starters and

I think they all failed. No amplitudes succeeded. There was one that they had a racing game and none of them failed. No there was an amplitude and there was another one. The Guitar Hero 360 game did fine. And I kind of just feel all that like now they're just like... No no no it was on PS3 as well but it was just amplitude but it was... And I'm sure Fantasia was a huge disaster because I never heard anything about that after that came out.

But that doesn't matter because Microsoft paid out mills or Disney or whatever. That still must have been a moral like morale disaster. Well considering the way they were talking on Twitter it didn't seem like they were very happy about it. I think they just want to figure out how do we re-approach the rhythm game genre. That's what they want to do. That's why they're making an amplitude. And that shooter thing. I wonder if they still are a staff of all musicians.

I wonder if that still applies to season now. Maybe not the guys I'm already making. That literally limits the amount of games you can make. I think Rock Band has a place to come back. I don't. I think so too. I think what it has to be now has to be... It has to be a digital platform and not a yearly...

Well that's what they wanted the games to be. I know but now that we're there with technology... The new systems can do this. You have to do this. You release a ridiculous set of song lists. Shit that is not just American history rock. Shit that's internet. I had a friend in Japan for the longest time.

And every time I would talk about Rock Band, he would tell me when's X Japan. It would be on Rock Band. And I told him never you fucking idiot. Go down on the hack. Right? Then he would not buy Rock Band. Exactly.

As would a bunch of us fucking weebs. That you know like know the anime. Can I play Butterfly from DR or Samurai? Whatever the fuck that shit is. My girlfriend noticed that every single rhythm game we played in the arcades in Japan had the Attack on Titan music in it. Every one of them had both songs. That shit is never kind of stateside.

That's what gets the 100 yen in the machine fast. We played them. We still live in a world in which voice actors have Japan only contracts. Like we're never ever gonna get Japan music in stuff like this. But it's something that should find out. I trust them more than I trust fucking, uh, Codic Activision. You mean the company that...

Okay, wait. Who would even make that? Cause Neversoft is fucking gone, man. They'd figure it out. Hey Sledgehammer, you know how we told you you got to be the front man on the new Call of Duty? Well... How would you like to be the front man of your own plastic band?

As he pulls out the guitar and everyone at Sledgehammer just quits. Where you going? And Bobby's just there, like, strumming the plastic. Showfield, no, come back. We'll let you make a dead space music. Um, video game OSTs would be interesting. Yeah, there's stuff there. Well, uh, the...

If you find a way to bring music that people care about now, you will get people back. Alternative will come back. The end begins to rock. And Mjolnir in the 360 NPS3 versions of Guitar Hero 3 were great. That's the God of War and Halo. Okay, okay. Those were great, so I totally agree with you there.

Alternatively, you want rock band to live forever? Make rock band audio surf. And let me just put my MP3s into it. Yeah, well they won't ever. I just want rock band Castlevania Speed Metal Edition. Okay, sure. Then you know what, Willie? Instead, how about this compromise?

Make a PC version with all the DLC, and just have the PC version exist, and I will see what happens. It should exist as a fucking cross-platform platform. We'll just see what happens, and we'll all just... Make it from there. We'll all just pretend.

But I still think they could release a new product, providing they addressed a lot of the problems everyone had before. Definitely. And don't shove more plastic down our throat. It happens with some more on the shelves, at least, but... I'll buy new plastic, but I want to only buy the good plastic that will last me for five, ten years. It's the kind of thing that I look at,

and I can't help but wonder if a partnership with Microsoft or Sony might help them a lot with this. Yeah. Because I think those companies would be willing to corner the plastic instrument. Hey, everybody, you need to have your rock band guitar plugged into your Xbox One for it to turn on. No, wait, we changed our mind. I mean, the other half of that,

where anyone who wants to play a plastic instrument game, because there still are a lot of fans, you have to go console. I'm still bummed out. I never got to play the keyboard stuff in Rock Band 3. And if you want to get some groupies, then, that can do the dancing with you in the background while you play on Connect,

then we can have the Just Dance people working into... Well, they... Yeah, the Just Dance people need something. You were just... Harmonics makes the premier dancing game for Xbox One. Well, I... Yes. I...

I know. I know. That's why I said that. Not Just Dance. What's there called? Just Dance. Not Just Dance. What's the Harmonics Dancing Game called?

I can't remember. Just Dance. I said the one that I thought was Harmonics. Okay. Well, you got too far in a Microsoft's fucking ads there for a second, because you're actually imagining a play scenario. You're doing the quote thing, center people. Yeah.

A play scenario that actually includes a room that you can fit six people in and play Connect games. Yeah. Because you're imagining that fucking fantasy living room that they always use. Yeah. Remember when we were at E3, and they had that real version of that fantasy living room,

and it was the creepiest fucking thing in the world? It wasn't great. The partnership I was thinking of was more just for marketing. Yeah, sure. Because it'll be hard to get it off the ground marketing it solo. Yeah. But if you have PlayStation, and if they partnered with Sony,

they could probably get some pull on Sony music. If Sony had plastic instruments and fighting games on lockdown, then obviously you know what needs to happen. Or you could always go to Steel Battalion or out. The fighting game plastic instrument tournament. Yeah. Finally. Sponsored by Sony.

Finally. Or you go to Steel Battalion or out, and you have Connect faking your instrument. Just air guitaring. No. I don't think anyone would buy that. You can see yourself. I know someone who would buy that.

His name's Matt. I would buy that. We've got this one I can't speak too much on because I haven't started it yet, but Matt, perhaps you can tell us more about the Cones of Dunshire. Yeah. I can't believe that the Make Believe

stupid medieval game from Parks and Rec now has a kickstarter. And it costs, what, $500? $500 for a copy of Cones of Dunshire. Cones of Dunshire. Because it includes such things as a captain's hat, a 24-inch solid wooden cone, I think 50 other plastic wooden cones.

A list of glasses. The board is 10 feet by 10 feet. It was an ugly touching moment of Parks and Rec when he was like, oh, that caught on, that stupid game I made. Oh, I wish I had gotten the rights to that. That would have been great. I'd probably make quite a bit of profit on it.

And that lovely accounting firm that Ben would always join and then have to quit. And they were so happy because he was such a good accountant, they then got the copyrights for him in his name, like as a present for him. And he's like, oh, shit, I own Cones of Dunshire. So that's fucking awesome that there's an actual kickstarter campaign for that.

You can play as a wizard, a maverick arbiter, corporal warrior, dragon alchemist, provost, denier, shaman, abbot, brinksman, farmer, duchess, mountebank, mistral, or tradesman. Those are fucking great. I'm getting you a picture of the game right now. That's fucking...

So I gotta ask, is this a real kickstarter? Yes, it is a real kickstarter for this. The Cones of Dunshire. I am afraid that this game will kick ass. It does. There's pictures of people playing it in real life, and it takes a car's parking lot, parking space worth of fucking...

I have to admit that you've learned well, but you forgot the most fundamental aspect of this game, protecting your Cones. I gotta catch up. You do. That's $500. Yo, speaking of absurd amounts of money on kickstarters, is Shadowrun on there?

Dude, Shadowrun has a new kickstarter. And it's like a huge success, because they're making a huge new campaign. So Shadowrun... Did they not make money? No, so here's the deal, right? So Shadowrun Returns was the kickstarter, and that got like a million dollars,

and they came out with Shadowrun Returns, and they also ended up being able to fund the expansion, Dragonfall, right? They ran out of money halfway through that shit, but they managed, right? Shadowrun Returns is a great game, but flawed and kind of low on content. Shadowrun Returns, Dragonfall,

is a fucking stellar game that is super long and great on content, and this kickstarter for Shadowrun Returns, Hong Kong, is straight... Hong Kong was the city that all the backers like me chose after Berlin, and they said, okay, the game is going to get made.

We have the funding in place to make the Shadowrun Hong Kong campaign, but if you guys want to kick in extra, we can improve the UI on this. We can add this character, we can expand the way the magic system works, stuff like that. And it's already at like fucking...

558 of 100,000... 558,000 of 100,000, with 28 days to go. I put 150 into this, because I don't want that messenger bag. You're going to get that messenger bag. And then I'm going to be like, yep. Got it.

But also I feel bad for not donating more after how much I enjoy Dragonfall. Dragonfall was fucking amazing, and I wish I would have had the foresight to make it more amazing. So yeah, I'm biased, but if you want to become biased, go play Dragonfall.

It's awesome. It's fucking great. I want to show you guys another... This is going to play really well for the podcast. Another Kickstarter. This is going to play really well. I might as well include a bit of sound so that it's not so weird.

You're a stupid, stupid idiot. But I know you guys haven't watched this, or know what it is. No, I haven't. So I want to show you, this is something called Star Mazer. It looks gorgeous. And this is going to be kick-starting soon.

It is a space... Space mercenary dude. Half shmup. Half point-and-click adventure game. Ah, they're going to say platformer. Cool. Okay. And it looks like what a space dandy game should be.

I was really hoping there would be like... Yeah, I got that feeling. Use X on Y. Commission. It looks gorgeous. It looks gorgeous. During the shmup section. Oh, awesome.

Right? And you... So you have this whole... This looks... King's Quest is shit. What? During... Right?

Yes. LucasArts style. Point-and-click. But then the shmups look like pure shmups. Yeah, they look like Japanese shmups. 29.95, huh? Okay, no. So that's...

No, that was just the original concept thing, whatever. Watch on the kick-start. It's going to be 29.95. And you're going to get that back. But that was made as a guy's project. He was funded to do a thing that was like, what would your dream video game be? And he got the budget to just

plan it and make that. And then basically, the next step was, alright, let's make this a real game. And so that's happening. I don't know if the kick-start is up yet. No, it said... If you scroll down, it said like the January 22nd or something.

Okay, so... Just scroll down. It's about to happen. January 22nd. There you go. This week. But Star Mazer fucking looks... Star is spelled with two R's.

In particular, a lot of shit uses, you know, retro pixel visuals these days. Pixel art? And we talk about a lot of them. There's a difference between using pixel art as a crutch and... And embracing it because you love it. And you know how to do it. Yeah, exactly.

That's the difference. Like Chrono Trigger and Super Metroid, we're pushing the envelope of pixel art. Yeah. And then when I see your... your adventures of pixel, and it's a fucking like four-colored block, fuck off.

That's not what I want. This is good pixel art. And that's the thing is that I want to bring it up because there's a pushback against, like, people that are getting really tired of like, okay, we get it, it's another retro game. It's basically there are so many shitty ones, and people aren't into that aesthetic

so they don't know, they can't tell which ones are good. Between which ones are like, yeah. Right. And personally, I can tell that like, yeah, there's definitely an oversaturation starting to happen with that, but... It's already happened to me. Who's making Star Mazer?

It's one guy. A dude. Okay. So it's another one of those things by a dude. It's a dude. Yeah. What's the... Oh, it's not up yet?

No, it's not up yet. But just you software yourself the quality of... Yeah, but I always feel like it's important when you're putting money into a Kickstarter, it's like, I was able to easily, mentally put in 150 into the Shadowrun thing because they shipped two games, and they're awesome.

You know, you know. But it's not the kind of thing where I just watched that and that was fucking awesome. Right? But that was a proof of concept MP4. Yeah. And will the game... Right?

Will the gameplay... It doesn't, for me personally, it doesn't affect if I'm going to kick in, it affects how much. Yeah. Okay. I would assume that the sprites seeing as the action... Unless it's your stage, I guess.

Why would you not use those accents? No, but I mean, will it look that good in action? Consistency. Will it look that good throughout the whole thing? Yeah. Well, a really prime example is that guy, I saw a really interesting Kickstarter that I was talking to Liam about,

which is straight like a Joe and Mac, Snow Brothers style co-op platformer. Yeah, I heard that. Of the 16 bit era. Yeah, I heard that. Fuckin' miles, right? Yeah, and I really, really liked it, and then I was like,

oh, it sucks that there's no demo. And I talked to the guy and I was like, you should really have a demo. And it's like, that goes such a long way to showing people that... For unknown teams, unknown people, putting... Like, Willie, you and I went nuts for Drift Stage, right?

And we all kicked in to get that fucking billboard, right? Yeah. If we had not fucking touched Drift Stage, there's no way, there's no way we would have kicked that money in. I might have. I disagree. I would have.

Absolutely. Okay, you would have. I would have. There's no way... Have you not seen me reacting to games like Hover and Fucking Shovel Knight and all these things? Okay, there's no way we would have all killed in.

You would have kicked in by yourself. Yes, I would have kicked in by myself. I kicked in by myself, regardless. I would have kicked in like 20 bucks. I wouldn't have kicked in like 500. Yeah, no. Touching Drift Stage was definitely a nice thing. For unknown projects, getting to touch it,

it's a huge deal. But what you need to understand is that the reason why I brought Drift Stage to you guys was because I saw it. Yes, I know. I know. I know. I know.

If that game had never been kick-started, that video we pulled out would have still been... I didn't even know there was a kick-starting aspect. ...would have still been fun to do. I just reached out and said, your game looks amazing. I'm saying it's like if you're unknown, if you don't have a track...

Okay, when eternity, Pillars of Eternity got its kick-starter, what did they use to tell people... To these guys. ...we developed New Vegas, Temple of Elemental Evil, Plainscape Torment, right? And people said,

okay, I know those games. Those games are really good, right? If you don't have that, right? And you don't have anything to touch or see even... It becomes way harder.

No, you don't know. Going back to this, I was going to say that these guys also made Barclay. What? It's them? Well, a portion of the team, not everybody, but the main guy also made Barclay.

But guess what? That doesn't actually help you that much, because only so many people... That's a very different kind of thing. When you say a portion of the team, there are three guys, so you must meet a guy. Is it Jeff Boyardy?

There was one guy in the scene, and he did the music. And Jake Kaufman was going to make the music for this. Wait, did I see Boyardy doing some of the music? I see Boyardy. I see Boyardy. It's better than Jake Kaufman. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Music and Barclay's quick, right? But it was still a very niche sort of, you have to be liking this type of thing. And I go, can you throw a demo for us, like a 10-minute long thing? And he goes, I'll really, really try.

And like trying to run the Kickstarter, trying to get a demo for us. And they're already like 15 days into the thing. They're like, we're really sorry we're not going to get it to you, but what we're going to do is we're going to relaunch the Kickstarter with a proper, polished demo.

And I was like, yeah, do that. In a case like this, a demo basically acts as a formal pitch. Yes, it does. It's good that they have enough money to keep it. And also a problem.

And yeah, demos do cost money to make. You have to make the fucking thing. A surface-level problem that doesn't happen too much in Kickstarters, but they do when they occur, is that this team was in Sweden and they're supposed to have to show with Croners.

Yeah. And it says 500,000. And anyone that's very, very surface-level Kickstarter goes, what the fuck? Yeah. They just see 500,000. It's,

there was that fucking deliverance, not deliverance, the fucking medieval RPG game that I can't even remember the name, but I backed in. Oh, yeah. Where it was in pounds and that fucked people up.

And below it, you have to scroll down the Kickstarters, see it, but they have a little avatar of a guy going, look, you convert this, and it's actually like 70 grand. Yeah. It's not all that much.

Croners work. Bit people see 500,000, and they're all like, dude, that's a problem too. And he's like, yeah, there's not much to the group. See Croner like Norwegian? Yeah,

I think. I'm really foggy on that part of the world. If they were Swedish, it'd be Isk. It was Croner though. Yeah. I was just like, that's a problem.

That's part of Europe. At some point, I'm sure. Wait, what do you mean? Like the currency from EVE. Okay, so,

oh, oh, I'm so glad I get to do this. You know why the currency in EVE is called Isk? Because Isk is their currency. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

But how long until they take over? How long until the EVE Isk takes over Europe? Yeah. Until everyone has an offshore Swedish bank account. That's when. Yeah.

Did you just say offshore Swedish? Yes. Yeah, because that's literally what it is. The metals that are off the shore, store, literally what it is.

Yeah, you saved it, but I still know you fucked up. No. I didn't literally mean offshore. I'm not going to go into bullied,

but do you remember the guys that are like, we understand what you're saying? I was going to bring those up, but I was like, nah, fuck this. Exactly.

I'm not going to mention it to it, but we asked the guys, yo, you're a cool, creepy survival horror first person shooter. Looks really good.

He goes, oh, we can make a demo, but we want to create an air of mystery. An element of surprise. It's the kind of thing where like that completely works if

people care about your product. We don't want to spoil the game. Fair, but you're asking for money, which means your idea is stupid. Okay, fine, but can you show us anything?

But that would, they also said the trailer that we put up, we feel threatens the game because it shows too much. Too much. And then when I looked, I said,

okay, well, let us know when your thing fails, when you want us to play it for you to help out in some fashion. And then when I switched, when I looked back months later and I saw that they canceled it

midway, and they're like, we're so mad because no one was talking about our game. It's because you didn't let anyone. You fucking. There is, there is something to be said of

games having too much shown before when nobody cares about your game to begin with. I, I super admire that train of thought. I admire you. But motherfuckers,

someone has to pay for this. It's it's it's it's it it's it's it. When you put up, you can do that if you have a publisher, but your actual marketing team is like, no, like embargo forever on all talking about this game,

unless it's broken telephone. Okay, so no, seriously, like. I admire that. I bet that game was frog fractured, too. Most likely to be frog fractured, too. I admire that, but it's like,

okay, you have two situations, right? You have three scenarios in which you want to do this. One, you're self-funded. No problem. You do it. You release it. No one will ever hear about it.

Hopefully, right? Hopefully it's good. Because then it'll pick up. You might not make any money because you refuse to show the game in any way before it came out, right? You have a publisher that will fund the game.

The publisher, in response to funding the game, says, we want to make sure we make money off this fucking game, so we're going to advertise the shit out of it. Please put your heart on your last boss trip.

Yes. Okay. Or, see, you go to people for funding, but you won't tell them what the game is, so they're like, what am I spending my money on?

And then they don't spend your money. There's no, self-funding is the only way to do that. And you can, and then you might, your game might bomb. I, well,

I hope your name is Pixel. Yeah. You do. Yeah. Because fuck you otherwise. Dude, I'm so excited for Frog Fractions, so. Hey. We need to do that.

Game's most likely to be Frog Fractions 2 at the end of the year. We said it, when Frog Fractions 2 got kicked started, we said it, but I'm going to say it again.

If you don't understand what we're talking about when we say Frog Fractions or Frog Fractions 2. Go play Frog Fractions. Go play Frog Fractions. Don't look up a guide. Don't talk to anyone.

Just play Frog Fractions. Are you cold? Until you understand why we told you to play Frog Fractions. That's, that's how I sold it to Woolly. That's, because if I just told him,

play this Frog Fraction game, you would never have played it. Yeah. I said, Woolly, I can't tell you anything. Yeah. Just play this game

until you understand why I told you to play it. Yeah. If you come away from it feeling underwhelmed, boot it up again, and play it again. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Because there are people that come away and go, I don't know why you told me to play that. I played it for half an hour.

What's the deal? And I said, I told you to not stop playing it until you understood. Exactly. You have to keep playing. That's brute force. But it's the kind of thing

where you will play Frog Fractions for over an hour when you get it. Yes. That is a given. It's very entertaining. We make the joke about it. Getting those

the fractions. About the games playing you as much as you play it, but that is actually what is happening. Yeah. Yeah. I understand.

All right. That's Frog Fractions. That's Frog Fractions, I guess the last little bit of story. But we can wrap up the Kickstarter thing by you can update us

on what's happening with the fucking... Yeah. I was telling you about this the other day. Is that like, I was going to ask you to add it to the podcast

last week, because I got really excited because they go, oh my God, they just announced a new Friday the 13th game. Like the... Yeah.

The fucking people that own the license or whatever. So we're going to make a new Friday the 13th game. It's an asymmetrical killer versus kids multiplayer game.

Oh, that sounds really similar. It's going to be out in October of 2015, which is in what, eight months? Now, when was the last Friday the 13th game prior to this?

Like on the next... 25... 25... The NES game. Yes. The NES game. And then all of a sudden the last year Kickstarter

is pulled down for copyright ID, which I've seen happen once or twice. And then since I'm a backer on that, I got an email saying, so after 25 years of silence,

now that they saw that my Kickstarter... Had a backing and people were interested. Had a backing, it seems that there are now rushing an actual license Friday the 13th thing

and say, hey, your character designs, which are different, like there's a guy with a hockey mask, but there's other guys with gas masks or whatever. And your Silver Lake

environment is too close to Crystal Lake. So we asked Kickstarter to kindly just stop your thing. And the guy goes, well, it's pretty funny coincidence that as soon as you saw that this thing...

And he goes, in his email, if you back it, you'll get this email saying, like, well, I really feel that this is probably a project that they had

in the pipeline for a while. So then they just stopped making it. And then when they saw that there's some headway... So what you're saying is, fuck you, Chris Saban. So here's what... Yeah, yeah.

Saban. It's the pale of shit test. Are you a pale of shit? Like a bucket, veritable. And it's really simple. You're working on the legal slash whatever department of the people in charge

of putting out the new Friday the 13th game. When you decide, we got to get one out there because look at what's happening. Yeah. You have a lot of options to handle this situation.

But one thing is certain, you have to aggressively protect your copyright. That's what the law says. Yeah. Right? It is. So what are your choices?

Well, you send out the cease and desist. You send out the thing you do whatever. Or... Or... You approach the guy and say, hey, come on in and... Let's partner up.

Let's partner up. How about you shut that down, but let's put out this instead. Yeah. Right? And you make it official. Which option is better for everyone? I don't know.

I don't know. But if you're a pale of shit, you don't see that option. Man. It's like Mass Effect. It's a great... So I was going to say, unless you actually had

that game in development internally, any other circumstance, your piece of shit, if the game was actually internally in development, then you're cool. Hey. Publishers...

Game publishing. You know what I mean? If they were making the exact same game, then it's like, you can't just... I find that scenario to be hilariously unlikely. If that is...

Yes, it is unlikely. If that is the case, then weird. That is the one circumstance. But I find that to be unlikely bordering on farcical. Yep. There's no New Friday the 13th movie this year.

The last one was in 2009. There's nothing going on. So large publishers are fucking pieces of garbage when it comes to Kickstarter. So I remember Brian Fargo, when he did the wasteland thing, was going around trying to get a publisher

for that before the Kickstarter. Right? And he would go into meetings and be literally hit with what the fuck is wasteland. Yeah. Nah. Okay?

And the pass. Kickstarter succeeds. The same people that denied him call him back, say, hey, how about we kick in X amount of dollars for development and own the IP? Yeah.

And he goes, what? No. And then they did it to... Fucking... Obsidian, too. Obsidian got the same fucking thing of the people that turned them down.

How about we just publish it and not... How about you use the Kickstarter money to pay for the game, and then we publish and distribute this PC game on Steam, and we own the IP?

And the response is, why would you ever do that? Welcome, welcome to, welcome to every second hip-hop label out there. I was gonna say, I was gonna say, any time a rapper blows up,

he's like, yo, I'll come sniffing back at my door now that I've had it. I walked in, I played my demo, y'all were there in the room, and then you looked at me kind of funny, and then I got kicked out, and now everyone's on my shit,

and you're coming crawling back, trying to get a piece. You know, it's the same story. Every time. And the analogy works great, because just like music, PC game sales, the fuck do you need a distributor for?

Exactly. Exactly. The fuck do you need a publisher? Yeah. So this... Especially if you're a main company, especially... Well, yeah, but Obsidian gets past being

like, no matter. No, exactly. They do. It's fine. So this type of situation, it's like you've seen it go the other way in many examples. Mega Man cross-street fighter.

Yeah. Right? This is awesome. Capcom's a bunch of fucking idiots, but every now and then, they do something really smart. Well, Capcom America has their head on pretty straight, that thing.

Yes. Well, because it's... You're right. It's pretty cool. It's just that someone forces their head to look in whatever direction that they want. Like, it's Capcom USA and Ono,

and the core ace attorney and monster hunter team. Yeah, that's so good. And it's Suno. And it's Suno. Yeah. But it's just... Everyone in upper management

in Capcom Japan... You know, this thing exists, but we have to aggressively protect our copy, right? How do we make as many people happy as possible? How do we make as many people mad as possible? Yeah, as possible. And then in the case of last year,

you could even throw in how do we also make some money onto the equation? Oh, really? And you still go nuts? What sucks for me is that I love the Friday the 13th, and it sucks that it's like the actual

people that have the license or whatever. Oh, yeah. That being said, there's a way around this. You can just juke it just a little more. Saturday... Bit for power, motherfucker. Bit for power all day, every day.

But that's what sucks is that what Bit for Power ended up being is what last year already was. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't like a licensed game. And Infogrames had what in the pipeline? Budokai won, I think.

No, the game that they had, the first Dragon Ball game that they had that had come out that would ruin Bit for Power was Legacy of Goku. Legacy of Goku, you're right. The little arcade games that could. Yes, Infogrames.

That game was good, yeah. That fucking company is the worst thing. What? The Spiral Armadillo! Every fucking time. Nothing about that sinks up at all. That shitty-ass fucking Spiral Armadillo. We're called cutting-edge software

and our logo is a fucking bear like juggling its own balls. It's the worst. It makes just as much sense. Like, that is right down there with like, Budcat is the only further place you can go. God, but Budcat is the thing

that I know you hate the most, that you have no real beef with. You hate everything about it. You will name-drop that to send me into a rage. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. And the rest of the news. Man, fuck this industry.

We can bump over to next week. Except for, hey, Katana Kung Lao and Goro Lives. Yeah. That was the trailer. A lot of people- Goro Lives, what a fucking shocker. A lot of people got re-grossed out

because it's been a while since that Goro pre-order. No, a Goro pre-order announcement has been had when people saw the ad again. Everyone got re-grossed out and it's gross. It sucks that I love Goro so much because I'm still going to pre-order. Well, I was going to say, for me,

like the check is like, were you going to buy this game on day one? Yes. Don't be grossed out. It's fine. Like, it's fine. I think being grossed out. I was thinking about this

when I was thinking about the the adapter thing for Nintendo and it's like, yeah, that's gross, but I can't summon the anger and because like, there's a point in which getting mad on other people's behalf on an issue that doesn't affect you

actually at all. Like, there's a line. You've got to be careful not to go over the line and be insane. Sure. Right? And this is like that. It was, right?

It was just, it was annoying with like, like Tekken Tag 2 as a tournament, just trying to play in a tournament setting because you just didn't have those characters if you could, if you didn't pre-order it and you ended up buying it for whatever reason, you know,

afterwards to participate. You're like, well, you're fucked out of yeah, well, play in Tekken tournaments. Exactly. Street Fighter should just turn out a Hearthstone. MK might have a little bit of background. Yeah, no, that's, that's, I mean, and it's weird because that's definitely

a publisher thing saying that, but Netherrealm has been trying to push it as a tournament viable. Did they say anything about whether he's going to be purchasable on day one because in that kind of like... No, I don't think so.

It is exceedingly unlikely he would likely be purchasable way later. The Batman costumes were a full year. Or the Mortal Kombat costumes. Or in the, like, the bundle where they put it all together. Yeah, I don't know,

because, like, when I was speaking to a Mortal Kombat, a Warner Brothers community manager at, I don't remember what convention it was. Pax. But I was, no, it wasn't Pax. But that's where we met them. No, I know, but I spoke to another one separately.

Oh, okay. And he... Leib's got context. He said that, like, Mortal Kombat X is going to be the biggest game that they ever do, so I don't know. I think they're going to work as hard as they can to fuck up in that kind of way.

And I think, like, delaying DLC for a full year is not something they're going to do. I think that's insane. For a fighting game, that's death. Oh, hey, Willie! What's death? For a fighting game? For delaying your fucking characters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember what happened across Tekken? How well that went over? I don't think they're going to do that. Hey, Willie, that new DOA character fucking on the list? The schoolgirl? Yeah, just the straight-up schoolgirl.

Straight-up schoolgirl. She's totally 18, too. Fits right in with the rest of them. Apparently she has the biggest bust. She has the biggest bust. She has the biggest bust. That's confirmed. Remember when we played DOA 5?

Remember when we played DOA 5? Marie Rose is totally 18 years old, quote unquote. This is another one of those. I have bigger problems than Marie Rose. I look at Jan Lee and he's fucking nobody. Yeah, what's your martial arts style? Schoolgirl? It's a martial arts style.

She made up watching kung fu movies. So Rufus. It's kind of goofy, actually. So Rufus, yeah. Kind of. Yeah, it's kind of goofy. The physics are pretty much the same, too. I like Jan Lee a lot.

Yeah, he's awesome. Because question one is, question two is, how do they fight? Do you see the fucking arcade stick that's coming out for this game? No. There's a special fucking, I think it's Hori. It's probably great. Vulix style arcade stick. That, unlike every other arcade stick, has analog sticks at the bottom of the stick so that

you can still control the camera and the physics. They know who's buying it. Future media creators, those guys. Fuck. Fuck. Like, guys, come on. DOA 5 is really good. Do you have to put the two creepiest characters you've ever made in it?

You do. I guess you do. I guess you do. I think DOA 5 is like 50% really good. Yeah. Because the gameplay is like totally fine. Oh, excellent. And the virtual fighter character.

And then everything about it that is dead or alive, you could just sweep off the table because I don't like... I hope they keep up the standard gameplay. Oh, okay. I thought you meant... I hope for Dead or Alive 6, they kill the whole cast, time skip 70 years into the future and just do something... Age 99 for real.

Yeah, exactly. No, a friend of mine that I was talking to, this girl was saying that like, she's like, I used to really be into DOA and like all the girls in it and stuff, but I feel it's like it's like the harem you got bored of. He's just like, I just don't have the interest anymore. It's like lucky. I've seen this before. At least they don't all have the same heads anymore.

No combination of you is interesting anymore. If you want to tell us about your DOA jiggle physics stories... Oh, Jesus Christ. You can write into... And you know you want to tell us. You want to write in a question about the impending release of DOA Beach Volleyball 3. Oh, please. Super best friend cast at gmail.com.

You look super set. Super best friend cast at gmail.com. I've given up trying to tell people not to send it to any other variation of that. I'm now just replying to them. No, don't do that. Don't do that. I'll take too long. See, this is why other podcasts have like company emails.

I guess. So that if you fuck it up, it goes nowhere. I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Gmail's good. I have like a sneaking suspicion that sometimes people send off an email, but they don't catch the answer till way later because they might not hear it right when it comes out.

That's right. Yeah. It happens. Okay. Why don't they respond to my email? Dude, you don't even listen to the podcast. Babylegs Ohulian wants to know, what is Mario's default state? Or to put it another way, does the basic red and white mushroom restore Mario to his

regular self or does it enhance his normal self and make him bigger? That's his normal self. The canon of it is the small Mario is Mario and when he takes the super musher, he becomes Super Mario. Yeah. Now, but what is Mario's normal? His default state is in regular Mario. Hmm.

Because it's got to be considered that in the 3D games, he never gets any bigger. He's just Mario. Yes. In the 2D games, it is different because the gameplay mechanics are different except in Super Mario Bros. 2. Okay. Basically, what we're saying is that the Super Mario and Mario universes are different. It's candid in the sense that Mario had a dream about some crazy bullshit.

No, no, but actually. So then pre-Mushroom Kingdom, when Mario was just a normal plumber, he was really short. He was like, Mario, your little short Italian guy. Yeah. And then he decided to stay in his super state once in the Mushroom Kingdom. It's like super, it's like going Super Saiyan. You know how at the beginning, it's really hard, but then they start hanging out. Super Saiyan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just, it's loose after that. I think there's a thing here where it's like. He eats so many mushrooms that he's just able to pop it when he wants. Like 3D Mario's default and 3D Mario, as Nintendo has accepted him to be the canon and the normal, is default regular size Mario with regular-ish proportions. Yeah. And I would argue that Mario being like extraordinarily small is just, that's the kind of visualization

you had to have back then. Yeah. I mean, sure. Yeah, so back in the 80s, he was really small. But in like 3D world, everyone can be small. Like Princess Peach, who lives in the Mushroom Kingdom, can go to the smaller size. But his default state nowadays is big. But the poster boy is Super Mario.

Yeah. That's who's on the cover of the fucking box. But nowadays, that's what regular Mario is. Regular Mario has never been on the cover of anything. In Mario Party, who do you pick? You pick Mario. Yeah. And Smash Brothers, you pick Mario.

Okay, no. Here's the real question. Okay, we all know that Bowser Jr. is Peach's son. But where did the other Koopa kids come from? That's the real question. No one knows. The princesses in the other kingdoms in Super Mario 3? Oh, maybe one from each world?

Maybe. Maybe. Damn. What a player. Well. Or maybe he just lays eggs. Maybe he just lays eggs. Maybe he likes eggs, and then he has that big picture of Peach that he has.

And that's why Bowser Jr. thinks it's this big. What do you think Lucky 2 is doing up there? I don't know what the fuck Lucky 2 is. Also, in Japan, they're all called something different. Like Koopa Kids? I don't even think they're called Koopa Kids. Wait, did you just say you don't know what Lucky 2 is? Yeah, I don't know what he is.

It's the cloud. No, I know who he is. But what the fuck is Lucky 2, though, really? That's what they are. It's throwing its babies at you to kill you is what it's doing. Awesome. The best attack. You can't defeat an enemy that doesn't.

Yeah. No, I'm going to go. What are Lucky 2 babies? Spineys? Is that what we're saying? Spineys are different creatures entirely. They just partner up. I'm going to say, yeah, Mario was born as just short little shrimpy Italian Mario.

He got the mushroom and then decided to stay that way as much as he could from that. And that's what fucked up his speech. I don't know. I think there's no Mario timeline. I think he is portrayed as he is. Have we not seen the cartoon? They got sucked down the toilet into the mushroom. Yes, but I think there's no timeline.

Well, here's the thing, Liam, at the end of Galaxy 1, it appears that they're stuck in a loop timeline. But what I mean is, he's like Mickey Mouse. He's portrayed, however, he's portrayed at the time. Yeah. And so I think back in the day, Default Mario was the short one, but nowadays Default Mario is the taller, neutral, regular sized one. I have a question.

That's how I thought. How come Mario has stayed 28 to 35 the entire time we've known him? Because he's a mascot character. But, Mickey Mouse example. Donkey Kong went from his adulthood into being a fucking busted old man. The only place that that was an actual, like, switch over was Donkey Kong Country. And that was, we need a fresh hip take. So let's have Donkey Kong.

Like, Mario never got that. Do apes age faster than humans? Yes. Great. That answers my question. Gorilla years. Yeah. That's just another, like, example of how there's no timeline.

Okay, here's one. Here's one. But what about Bowser then? Is Bowser immortal? Yeah. Turtles? Dude. Turtles?

Turtles. That's what I'm saying. So, like, he's got a shell. So, like, he can probably, he's been, like, thousands of years old. Yeah. I mean, again, I think there's no timeline. But, like, I would think they age at an extraordinarily slow pace, considering. Because they're turtles.

Considering Koopa Jr. And he's just, he's the latest princess that he's kidnapped. Who knows how many before him? Pauline. Right? Maybe. No, no. Maybe you're just awful.

I know. Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong. Yeah, maybe. Or, or you could say that when you're in the Mushroom Kingdom, you're just immortal. You don't age. Because it's a crazy fantasy world. Yeah.

During the opening sequence of DDR Mario Mix. Fuck you. Oh. No. Finish your thought. It's pretty demonstrable that nobody ages. Really? Seriously?

Oh, so it's not. Oh, okay. I was right, right by saying fuck. But I don't know. I think, I think we need to go back, we need to go back to the moment that Luigi saw under the Shy Guys Mesh. Yeah, yeah. That was the deciding factor.

Can someone explain to me how Diddy Kong is a chimpanzee, but he's Donkey Kong's brother? Because he's not his brother. They're just brothers. They're just brothers. They're just pals. They're bros. They're pals. Yeah.

They're not canon brothers. Donkey Kong Jr. only had one son and that was Donkey Kong. Okay, and Dixie is Diddy's sister. Dixie is. He might be. No, no, because they have romantic relationship. That doesn't necessarily mean anything. Yeah.

This is just another rape. I don't think they're- It's a chimpanzee, man. I think, well, yeah, but I think the only actual siblings are, or like family relationships. I believe Kiddy Kong. Are Frankie to Donkey Kong. Hey, I just realized. Was it Mikey Relator or Mike Kong?

Both Donkey Kong and Mario's Nemesis-ies. Nemesis. Are both lizard. Lizards. Slash reptiles. No, no one likes the red reptiles, man. They're cool. I believe Kiddy Kong.

Okay. It was named as Donkey Kong's nephew because Kiddy Kong is an ape, like he doesn't have the- Right. Diddy tail or anything. So who the fuck is D.K.'s brother, then? Their sister. Now, Donkey Kong, maybe.

Now, Donkey Kong- Now, Donkey Kong looks like he has some kids. I don't care what you tell me. He doesn't pay for their- Fucking- We all know that Lanky is that same asshole that was throwing barrels at you back in Donkey Kong. I think.

Like the evil fucking Kongs that would throw barrels at you. We know that was Lanky. Okay. We know for sure. That motherfucker. Wow. Is there another question? I hope not.

That was a good question. That's a really good question. What was the guy's name again? Baby Legs? Baby Legs. What a good name. What a good name and a good question. Yeah.

No, we got really deep into there. All right. We're going to take a quick, quick one from- The Mario universe is confusing. Hey, the mirror number five. Steve wants to know, what's your favorite death animation? RE4 Salvador, probably. RE4.

Oh, that's a whole other level. It's RE4 blank. Yeah. RE4. RE4 Navistador acid bath on the face. Yeah. That's my favorite. That's a good one.

That's a good one. I was going to say in general, I always appreciate Castlevania when you just burst into a shitload of blood. I like Castlevanias because it's the dramatic slo-mo fall backwards. Mega Man's got a good one, too. Yeah, Mega Man's good. The rise of the Tomb Raider one. Some of those ridiculous-

No, the best one is when you jump into the water and the edges close against the pool. No edges close against the pool. Yeah, yeah. That was cruel. There's two ones in the water. I know the ones he's talking about. There's the coral. There's the one where you fucking get impaled on the wood.

Yeah. And you just fucking suffer and die. Oh, yeah. And then there's the parachuting down the mountainside as well. No. The best one is when you jump in the water in Tomb Raider and the rapids and you're going down and you can spike through your head. Yeah, that's the one I was thinking of.

No, they reuse the parachuting. Did you ever get the feeling playing that game that someone was animating this with a huge erection? Yes. Yes, I did. Because like, okay, RE4 and Dead Space have violent ass fucking deaths, but there's something about the Tomb Raider death animations that seem fetishized. You know what it is?

It's a particular thing. Because they want it to make you go real. Because you want to go, ah, it's not like a clean beanie. Because you land on your side ribbed fat. Yeah. And because Lara usually like flails around and makes horrible noises for like way longer than you. Well, I mean, think about how like Nathan Drake dies.

Like it's a good contrast, isn't it? Yeah. Because Drake just kind of goes like, oh, I'm fucked over. And as bad as Leon gets it in RE4, he goes, ugh. And then the part of him that's being torn off goes, I want to give, I just remember Dead Space won when the fucking monster, when the necromorph made out of parts takes your head. Yeah.

And puts his head in your head and starts walking around. Wow, that's pretty good. That was pretty good. I'm going to throw out one, two metal slug, killing dudes with a flamethrower is fucking ridiculous because they light up and burn, but then they keep running around on fire. Yeah. And it's almost like they see the fire that is above them because it's this huge pillar. Yeah.

And then they drop and crumble. And go drop down, yeah. It's fucking ridiculous. It's as if people's blood was kerosene is what, is the effect that happens. All of the 2D Metroids post super. Oh. Tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick. It's a shatter and you see Samus under it.

Cut scene so I don't know if it counts, but I'm going to say parasite Eve won the night in the opening cut scene where everyone bursts into flames. He runs over to grab like a curtain and he goes to grab it and then you hear a and every single thing in his body just completely locks and he kind of just tips over because he died mid run from the flames. That was rough. That was rough. Just that there's two of that through in here to answer people that are asking podcast questions

for a while actually. Yeah, we've done a couple of podcasts. Zach basically says like a lot of the time I'm driving or I'm at work and I can't write down the promo code you guys mentioned in the video or whatever so I'm going to put them in the link description. That totally makes sense. Don't worry Zach, that is coming and other people that are generally asking like Alex this week want to know how do we support the podcast in general and whatnot.

Download and listen to it. Just download and listen to it and hey if you think you want to try out one of the sponsorships that's cool too. That's it. Nothing else really. No donations. Straight up the best thing you can do for the podcast is download it so that we get the number that says hey we have X amount of people that listen to this podcast or subscribe

on iTunes or whatever. And it doesn't matter where you listen from because they all go from the same source. Yeah, if it comes off the server that counts as one podcast listen. And yeah like I said if you like a sponsor try it. Or in other ways if you have any friends that you think might be interested in the podcast recommend it. That's cool too. Every time you go to that forum you like to go to and people are like what's the best

podcast you listen to? Say the super best podcast. I was surprised to find out there's quite a few people that listen to our weeks and then stop at the game news parts that are not super interesting. I'm not surprised by that shit at all because I've been listening to the giant podcast for like five years. Exactly. I have a message for those people.

It's nothing because they're not going to get here. Oh god he's totally right. Those people aren't hearing this right now. That's funny. So a funky student noticed that there's a mask that marries a Mary Sue in persona. I want to know what is the worst Mary Sue. Marie is not a Mary Sue. She's a tsundere like through and through.

She's a tsundere but she's also a look at this character design to appeal to everybody. No, no, no. She's not a Mary Sue. That's giving her too much credit. She's poochy. All right. Yeah. I'll take that.

I'll take that. The problem is that I really like this poochy. Yeah. Also that's... It's the stripes. It's the stripes. Shout out to the funky student for actually having funky student as his avatar, the quiz giver.

Yeah. No, that's been a popular character since John Bomb was up. What's the worst Mary Sue you've ever seen in a video? Can I say Gwen Stacy? Video game. Video game. Video game. I had a really good one recently but I'm struggling.

Faith from Mary Sue. Fuck you. You see he's upset now. He's upset. He's angry. I fucking had a really good one. I'm upset now. What's a good Mary?

Like just, you know, dropped into the world and everyone just falls in love with you and you have to have you. And then you leave the world at the end to return to your own normal. Fucking captain and stuff. I got one. The fucking not love interest from Beyond Two Souls. That fucking Jack Ryan motherfucker. Oh, putting yourself in his shoes.

That guy is the most Mary Sue of all. The protagonist of all Persona games. No, that's swag. There's a difference. You're Liam. You're not wrong. When you're right, you're right. They're literally made for other characters to love them and for the player to feel better

about themselves. You're a student in Japan. You will probably. What's that called? An otaku self-insert. It's self-insert and Mary Sue. You have a hairstyle but no face. Yeah.

But you have a uniform though. Yeah. Fucking. You know what? I'll take that. Shiki from Multi-Blood and Tsukihime technically. He is nothing but an avatar for every Japanese student in school. Oh, and he puts the glasses on for a change.

That makes you feel different. He can see the lines. He's not a generic character. He's going to cut the lines. Fuck that. That's what you're talking about. Tsukihime, Multi-Blood, whatever. I don't want to hurt you.

It's a good game though. Okay, yeah, sure. It's really good. Mary Sue isn't one of those tropes that pops into my mind constantly. Fair enough. I think Mario's a Mary Sue because everyone loves him. But yes, stuff. Everyone's constantly like, holy shit, it's Mario.

Let's all suck his dick. If we didn't know better, Lords of the Fallen would have been a really extreme case as well. But no, that's a guy from the Somerillian. But that seems just the way that story comes across. Lords of the Fallen. Sorry, it's not Lords of the Fallen. Shadow of Mortar. Shadow of Mortar.

Oh, Shadow of Mortar. Sorry, Shadow of Mortar. My mistake. What a good industry we work in. Yeah. Imagine fucking badass joins Middle Earth and just wreck shit. It's none of that stupid happening crap. Can we say that Troy Baker is a Mary Sue?

The only other characters I can think of are Commander Shepard and the more generic characters. Characters where it's like... I'd say you shape them. I'd say yours. And also, we don't often play tons of those games either. It's Big Boss of Mary Sue. Okay, well, Mike is my Shepard. He isn't away.

My Shepard was a Femme Shep that was like... You know, they just came out and said the original design for Shepard was Femme Shep. Oh, really? Interesting. And she was bald and black. And it was just a completely different experience from everyone else that played it. Of course. Of course.

So like, hey man, in space being bald and black don't matter. Yeah. So like, it isn't really... What? It shouldn't. Oh, okay. Mary Sue usually implies that you can't even change the way they look. Yeah.

Because they look so generic, you know? Yeah. You're right. Like, a Mary Sue is kind of that self-insert thing. Yeah. It's got a default make you feel like... Even Lana's not a Mary Sue. She's not.

Exactly. She's got stuck. She's even worse. Yeah, she's worse. She's boring. Hey guys. She's terrible. Lana sucks.

She's fine. I disagree. I think she sucks. Evan just started a class in game design and he noticed that on the faculty, one of his professors has on his CV dungeon keepers mobile port listed. Should I ask him what the fuck happened or just forget about it? Don't ask him what the fuck happened because he's faculty and he can fuck your life up. Yeah.

Evan, you worked on dungeon keeper. What's up with that? And then you gauge your next question based on the reaction. Yeah. If the reaction is, uh, then ask him what the fuck happened. If the reaction is, yeah man, I'm really happy about that. I was really proud to work on it. Just don't take that guy's classes.

Maybe quit your course. Maybe quit your course. You won't learn anything. Yeah. Unless you're soulless and just want to make money. In which case, go to all that guy's classes. Yeah. I'm not, that's not even a value judgment, man.

In this class, we will teach you how to sprinkle waypoints throughout your open world. Hey, here's how to, what was that GDC thing that we all freaked out over? In this class, we will teach you, we will teach you proper audio book implementation in your linear first-person shooters. A while ago, GDC, what was that fucking, uh, talk about like how to make players not hate the free-to-play hooks? Uh, damage mitigation or something? Yeah, damage mitigation for like people reacting to your free-to-play garbage.

It's like, oh my God, this is fucking business. Grometheus bound. Yeah, man. When's Mugen? I'm assuming that at least Willi or Matt at some point got into the wonderful but utterly horrible Mugen. Well, Willi doesn't have a lot of experience in that area at all. I don't even know how to say it right. I can barely pronounce it.

It's Mugen, Doofus. Well, Willi is a Mugen Power 500 member. Like he is, he is up there. This guy is so into Mugen that when Salty Bet blew up, he became personally offended. As a corruption of the Mugen scene. As a corruption of the spirit of Mugen. I put the work in and now you guys are using it as some kind of dumb dog fighting thing. No, no, the problem was stolen code at the beginning.

The problem was stolen code. Look dude, here's what it is. It's coming. It's not. I, spiritually, I can't. It's too much. I was so far into Mugen back when it first fucking started. Alright.

Back when it was real. Back when it was real. When Elec Bite still existed and people knew what the company's name was and if you wrote them a fucking email, they'd reply to it. Back when it meant something. Right? Back before the droves of clones of Dragon Ball characters using the same fucking CNS files and the same fucking Necromancer rip-boss and the same shitty ass evil kens and all that bullshit. By the way, check out Salty Bet lately, they've cut down on that shit. I really hope so.

It's almost totally unique matches now. That's cool. Less overtly broken characters also. The tech. And by broken I don't mean like too powerful, I mean like they don't move and can't be hit. The tech they have that they put into recognition of the fighters and the stats and everything, that's unbelievable. I can't believe it got to that point. And the YouTube tournament is like I suppose people just want to see a little more fight fucking Peter Griffin.

So whatever. I want to see Omega Tom Hanks beat SSJ5 early. You know the Psyus Cyber Shredder, etc. But these are people who want fighting games. I know. I know. I know you know. By the way, I figured out just now a way that we can do a Fist of Cuffs for Mugen.

So look. It's gonna be a 100 part series. No, it's very simple. Go with your willies creations. It's very simple. You guys ready for this idea? Yeah. We get a face cam.

We do mostly face cam. The corner is Salty Bet and we don't input other than just straight betting. Just money on the table. Last time we sat down and watched Salty Bet, I asked that. When are we gonna do a Let's Watch of Salty Bet? No, it's not. It's a Fist of Cuffs because we're not playing the fighting game. No, we're just betting on the outcomes.

Every match and we'll set like every match is like what? Two bucks? That's probably two bucks. Five bucks? That could be kind of high after all. I can get bad. Everyone walk in with 500 bucks. But the answer generally is like I will never sit down and try to build a fucking Mugen setup.

You lost too many years of your life. It's just too painful and annoying and a yes. So like maybe if there was some ridiculous thing that someone like had already pre-packaged, maybe I take a look but I'm already just... Yeah, no, no. The only thing on the table is the betting thing I just invented. It's happening. Speaking of bets, I have two pieces of news that aren't worth mentioning singularly on the podcast

but together they are interesting. Go ahead. Number one, Phantasy Star Online is trying to be officially translated and have a fucking pirate server run by the translators. So they want to localize it and bring it over. Does a fan made... No. No, it does not count.

I want to hear it from Liam's mouth. There's just it. No, it does not count. There's no way that counts. I told some people on the internet it does not count. And in fact that helps my side of the bet dramatically because if that shit happens there's even less of a chance of it coming over here. But on Liam's side of it, they just stopped IP blocking foreign IPs.

They recently, just a couple days... Maybe it's just to keep you up. And maybe it's because they gave up. But it was an anti-DDOS thing that came from overseas but now it should be that you can translate your thing and you probably won't have to run a proxy to get into Japanese PSO2. Sorry, I mean PSO2. So the bet is on good.

Also, I want to clarify. I see a lot of people talking about this bet and saying that I won the 2014 version which was 40 and we doubled it to 80. That's slightly incorrect. I won the 2013 version for 20. And then we doubled down and I won the 2014 version for 40. Exactly. And then we doubled down for 80 for 2015.

And if I win this year, we will see what happens. Who's willing to keep going on this. Because I'll keep going on this shit. I'll keep going too. Sorry, just before I forgot because I knew I wouldn't remember next week. Pat, Andy wants to know what your favorite vaporware is. Favorite vaporware? It's the Phantom. There's no. It's called the Phantom.

It can't be seen. There's nothing. Transparent. What about actual games? That's Shenmue Online. Because we describe, I remember telling a story on the podcast, but I remember everyone who saw that fucking Shenmue Online trailer at the end of it said to themselves, that is not coming out.

When they say favorite, I'm assuming he means like not actual favorite because... Favorite is in How Dumb Is This. Yeah, okay. Because I'm like Starcraft Ghost and fucking... Starcraft Ghost look terrible. Every time Starcraft Ghost was shown, it looked like garbage. The most, it's almost a ghost. But they keep saying it.

I know, I know, I know. If I want to jump on it, I just want to, of course, always plug it. Final Fight, Seven Suns. And that's why it's especially egregious, is because then you got a much shittier thing later for no real reason. Dead Phoenix. Dead Phoenix. Yeah.

Dead Phoenix and it died and never came back. It never came back. Yeah. And Phoenix's rise from the ashes and come back. Starcraft Ghost for sure, a bunch of like, Cannes, Streets of Rage, Fours. Like Seven of them. Yeah, they've been multiple, huh?

Even the one by Rebellion. No, Rebellion. No, Rebellion, I know which one you mean. Ruffian. Ruffian, yeah, yeah. Recently, that one looked good too. And Bioshock on Levita. Which I was bummed about and then when Ken Levine came out

and said it was going to be a tactical RPG, I was even more bummed about. Faith in a 45. Oh yeah, that's yours. Yeah, Seven Days as well. You can go with the Udon Street Fighter story game. Yeah. Street Fighter Adventures.

Yeah. Avengers for 360 and Cast 3. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a really cool first person survival, horror-y shooter that were locked in a cabin. A giant monster was trying to break in. It was called Redmore, I believe. Something like that.

And there was like full footage of like 12 minutes of it. And I was like, oh, why is this going to cancel? It's so good. My actual favorite vaporware game is RE4 Hookman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that? Oh, oh. It's the original version of RE4 that had the psychological effects.

Oh, that's a good way. There's like 10 different names, but everyone knows what you're talking about. And a guy who worked on that fucking game. Just had an interview. Just had an interview and said, man, as great as RE4 would have been, if Capcom hadn't made its change yet, that original version would have blown people's minds even harder. It would have been way...

People were pushing the scariness really hard. It's funny because I don't even believe it. Because RE4 is so impeccable. No, I don't even believe it because RE4 is so impeccable and B, Evil Within, is not. Like Capcom, she'd just have a team that just prototypes RE games and then doesn't actually put them out. And then turns it into genre.

Into different, better games. Yeah. It's just prototyping. Yeah, that department's called Platinum. Two shapes. All of Platinum's prototypes start as recently-built games. It's all Kamiya knows how to make. It's part of the process.

And then it just turns into that. Yeah, it's part of the process. Exactly. Beautiful Joe started as a Resident Evil game. You wouldn't know it. And this last one is to answer Jordan, but also a lot of people. Jordan's not the only one. And it's really just the core of it is,

are you guys actually friends or is this all a work? And the answer is, quite frankly, do you know how much work it would take to put up the sham? You really do not realize how lazy we are? It would be so much effort to fake fun, being friends and doing this whole thing. This is the side, the partner question to, or the accusation that our LPs are scripted.

Yeah. I remember when Evil thought the Machinima episodes were scripted, and that I could believe, because those are like eight minutes long. But then we started doing LPs. Like, dude, that would take a long time to write. But look, Matt and Trey have been working, they must hate each other by now.

Gossip, gossip, gossip, rumors, rumors, rumors, rumors. Like, it's like, no, dude. It's way too hard to do that fake appearance. There's too much work. The real story though is that when the best friends was created, Matt and I didn't really like each other. No. You were mutual friends through me.

Yeah, we were mutual friends through you, Willie. And I kind of thought he was like a weird asshole, and I'm sure he thought I was a weird asshole. Because the only time I'd been exposed to that part, that I've had at that point, was playing fighting games with him at Dawson. When we were 17, and a little rude. And a little rude,

and he was insulting every single person that came his way. And that's the kind of thing where like, two best friends wasn't even a thing, it just became a thing. The joke was that we hate each other so much in that episode. Yeah. But some weird narrator or titling program was saying that we were the best friends.

That was your thing. Yeah, it was some sort of computer. That forced us to play. And then we did Silent Hill 2, and then we did a couple episodes like, ah, Matt's not so bad, he's alright. And then by the time we did Downpour, I'm like, ah, I'm friends with Matt.

Yeah, I won't kill him. Because like, you know, it just, everyone overestimates our ability to like, to act together. No, to act. To act, yeah. Like, I don't know if you've seen any of our live action bits, people. We are not actors.

Fun day. One day we'll be actors. Like Liam is, though. Usually people will be like, Liam is an actual good actor. The rest are shit. I don't think I'm a good actor. Well, he's for foods and dudes.

See, that's an attitude that will serve you well. I guess so. If someone says that, it's probably actually a good actor, you know what I mean? Because you know they're full of shit and wine. Yeah, I know what you mean. Big brother is not watching, because he can barely keep his shit together.

You know? It's just, come on, man. Anyway. And no, the other popular one is, we do not have a fifth best friend behind the scenes, writing everything for us. Because I've seen that one twice. There's a fifth.

I've seen that one twice. Or when are they going to introduce a fifth, or whatever. What are you? Like, any question that is, when is there going to be changed to what? No! You think there's a plan?

Guess what? Me and Woolly are poochy motherfuckers. Yeah. Yeah, essentially. No, people made that analogy, like today, you guys. Oh, I know. Like, barring John,

kicking my door open, and just sitting on Pat right now. Just sitting on him. Guys, I can't speak. There's someone sitting on me. No foreseeable changes. Ask them about their week. Why are we going to record

super best girlfriends? Never! They don't want to be on camera! Really? I don't think any of them do. I can speak for at least two. No? No, right?

No? Okay, yeah. My girlfriend held the camera one time in the movie theater, and she was like, I'm going to break this camera or something. Exactly. Well, the thing is that I always get,

like, that's your thing. Yeah. Why would I want to take that from you? Like, I don't want to go do journalism with my girlfriend. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

Yeah. All right. What is coming up on the channel? Good question, though. We are friends. And what is coming up on the... I think either you or Pat can say what's coming up on the channel.

Is that the week? Yeah, you guys must have seen it. Parasite Eve. How, how would they have seen it? Good plan. That was to... That's today? That was yesterday.

Oh, well, oh yeah, we're doing Parasite Eve. It went up today. Oh, cool. The new LP train never stops, except for now, because we can't put a new LP up. I hadn't actually checked

any of the back end, and didn't see any... So, you know, we're in that golden age. No pressure. Yeah. No pressure, you guys. Yo, Willie,

what do you think of Parasite Eve? It's really fucking good. He was telling me he didn't even know that it took place in New York. Yeah. Yeah. You want to have fucking prototype games that were something else.

Yeah. Like, that used to be like five different Squaric Soft games. Now, as long as no one caches in their behelit, I think we can hold this golden age for a while. Yeah.

I don't know. We all have a special behelit. There might be a hunting or killing video this week. It's a bit tight, because we're doing something this weekend, I think. And eventually,

you guys do learn to jump on the Mario heads. Oh, yeah. Yeah. For everyone who doesn't know, we recorded nine episodes. Because I ignored a bunch of emails. It's nine, huh?

I think it was nine before we even put one up. Yeah. I ignored a bunch of emails. Like, you guys need to build an RPG. And like, mainly being like,

do the combos properly. Yeah. And it's like... When you first played it, you probably didn't figure it out around when you did. It's the same problem we have for any LP that we actually

do work on. I said this. And aren't lazy and like get up ahead of time. It's like, dude, you know, if you do this, like, yeah,

that was three weeks ago. It says a couple of times, we only realized that the crossbow was good in Evil Within until part 25 of 30. Yeah. So,

because that's how much we had recorded until we saw people saying combos. Yeah. But yeah, more things to come. And it's interesting because it all just happened

by chance. Everything ended at the same time. And we just rolled out a bunch of new stuff at the same time because it just happened to roll that way.

What are we going to not roll out new stuff? And Game of Thrones can only go up when Game of Thrones goes up. Watch too. There was a moment for me

where I saw a thread on a forum and it was just like, oh my God, they just brought back something. And I was like, did we? Yeah.

And I go look at our uploads and I'm like, huh, they all synced up. Wow, wouldn't you know it? Because there's an excitement when a new LP comes out and it's fresh.

So it's like, when two happen, it's an ocean that's three, four happen. And now a fifth one sneaking in the edge because Game of Thrones

is over. And the one-offs keep coming and the one-offs are coming. We recorded a one-off right to date. Yeah. Are we doing anything this weekend?

Well, I'm asking Willy because he's, I think, did you forget? In terms of what are we, what's on the watch this week, what's on the watch

is Motherfucking Mag Fex. We're getting on a plane this weekend. No, he mentioned it last week that we were going somewhere next, next time. Yeah, I was going to say,

why don't you forgot? I forgot. That's fine. We're getting on a plane. We're on a mag festival. We'll see you guys down there. And,

oh, I'm not going. What is this, a festival for magnets? We're going to, we're going to spend some time with Cranky and Takahata. Yep. And,

and Boku no Eruption. And, maybe Matthew, maybe Matthew. Someone told me that his brother is doing a Freedom Worms Cosplay. So,

I really hope I can see that because that doesn't exist. And, like, we're probably just going to do our usual wandering thing because we're not so huge that we can't come

walking around. Bodyguards. Yeah. But, we can shake some hands and say what's up to some peeps. Definitely. Yeah,

definitely. Yeah. And, just, just this week, I was finally informed that, yeah,

we can sneak one in for you. Do we have the time? I posted it everywhere on our social media yesterday. But, for those that, yeah,

though, that really percentage that might want to go, but also only listen to the podcast. Yeah. It's Saturday

from 3.30 to 4.30 in an autograph session, which was also really late in, like, early Thursday. Because it was,

like, really iffy whether we're going to get one or not. Because MagFest has really suffered by having to have a mini MagFest

that really delayed a lot of their stuff, which is why a lot of this is kind of at the last minute. What is it, a magnet convention for ants? There you go.

Ants need magnets too, man. Yeah, I know. The general thing we always do is, like, when we're in a place,

we use our social media to tell you guys where we're going to be. We're in San Diego, but we're four guys. And it's really easy to tell where we are, because we tell you.

We're in a giant Carmen Sandiego on the right here. We're in a giant Carmen Sandiego suit, and the hat, but we're stacked on each other's shoulders.

No, you're inside that dancing moocow suit in Mexico. Okay, okay. So you remember the Where in the World

is Carmen Sandiego song? I guess everyone does. It's catchy. The question is, do you remember the game show, which kicked ass?

Carmen Sandiego. Yes, yes, vaguely vaguely. And the intro for that was equally as high because she was always on helicopters,

and we run up to a rooftop, and they see her standing on the rooftop, looking at them, and she drops off, and the kids run and look over the edge, and then fucking wings

clip out, and she soars away like a bandit. Not only do I remember that, I remember an episode in which Carmen Sandiego teamed up with a different thief,

and the main characters had been kidnapped or captured in the process of trying to stop them, robbing, I think it was Fort Knox. No, no, no,

it wasn't Fort Knox, it was some big bank. And the main characters convinced the secondary villain that gold is worth way more than cash, so he should load up his car with gold.

But then, because the gold was so heavy, when they escaped, they were easily able to catch up with him. Because he was the fucking, yeah, that's it.

But Carmen fucking booked that shit that she was out. There's so much crossover material there, I'd love to see the team and Ghost in the Shell trying to chase down Carmen Sandiego. And never managing,

because the game show only gave you glimpses of what she was like, but the cartoon, you got to see. You never got to see the lore and epic vicarious being

that was Carmen Sandiego. And in the show, it was usually the last 10 seconds of the episode, fuck, she's right there, she's gone,

and she's gone, and she's gone, every time, every time. Good stuff, good stuff. Alright, see you guys. One, two, three.