Castle Super Beast - SBFC 090: Where else can we add Jiggle Physics?

Episode Date: April 28, 2015

God damn it, our Valve news became obsolete while we were recording. #wiggerwednesday  

Wake up America, it's time for choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-ee and fuckface. Choo-ee and fuckface in the morning! Oh, me so horny! Where's your fucking horn with your air horn? Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-ee and fuckface, irreverent, out of control. Who put a microphone in front of these guys? I didn't say it! I just wanted newsreels, like all the times we got in shit for stupid stents or whatever.

I'll just jam in there. Choo-ee and fuckface again in the news today. Being accosted by the police after running around late at night with fake guns. Choo-ee, what were you thinking? Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-ee and fuckface. One of my favorite bits in Parks and Rec is when the douche has- Oh, I love the douche. The douche has Leslie Knope on, they play the clip where she's like,

here's Leslie Knope and you're me so horny! She's like, I did not say that. Those farting noises are not coming from me, they're coming from the robot. I greatly prefer Choo-ee, fuckface, and the goons. And the goons? A lot of people. And of course, there's goons including Shit King. Shit King!

That's fine, but I think Choo-ee and fuckface, is the headline. The Marquis and the rest are just the goons. Oh yeah, well, Opie and Anthony with Jim Norton. Yeah, you know, you have the channels called The Matt and Pat Show with Wally and Liam. There you go, there you go. Or always been that way. That's a tough tag to type into the YouTube bar, I tell you what.

But you can always make, you can always see. They don't even take Ampersands anymore. A really good way of making the third name sound better is to say, like Choo-ee and fuckface, starring the goons. Featuring! Featuring the goons. Or the goopers. I like it. Hi, I'm one of the goons, my name is Shit King, such as me too.

And this is Liam. This is just Liam. Hi. Hi. I'm Choo-ee, fart noise. He's fuckface. Me so, honey. Morning radio is the fucking worst.

It's a goddamn mess. I don't know. It's the worst. It's the absolute piece of shit, garbage. We need to drag Casey Kasim out of his fucking grave and get him on the show for legitimacy. It's people who drop out of dreams and become gym teachers and drop out of that and become morning radios.

Yeah. Oh, Jesus. I was going to be a star and then I busted my knee and now I teach him. It's coach Strap and the locker room bunch in the mornings. Yeah. Well fucking, apparently, like half of the PJs on YTV to get super local again are like on CVC radio now, are various radio stations. I buy every ounce of that.

Tarzan Dan from the hit list. Has he still called that? Apparently he ended up on Buffalo Radio. Wow. So we were right there. We could have met Tarzan Dan. Yeah, man. We could have met him.

Paul ended up on radio. So on public radio, it's where they come on and just list all the porns he likes. I don't know, man. You like to hang some impression? No, everyone talks about like we're snit, but no one wants to know where the fuzz paws went. I don't even remember. Do you're saying eerie Indiana levels of bullshit in my head?

Do you remember the fucking fuzz paws? I don't. And I watched YTV all the time. I don't think the fuzz paws were the little puppets, the little muppets they had around, including like Fez. He's like a little beast creature. No, man. For me, YTV's like dumb shit starts at snit.

It starts and ends at snit. I think what you're saying is maybe later era stuff? No, it wasn't the afternoon time, which is the zone. No, no. Later years, like chronologically. It was early. It was early. So was the golden age.

No, because remember P.J. Katie? Yeah, yeah. And then she got P.J. Katie's farm? Yeah, I remember that. So P.J. Katie, when she got P.J.

Katie's farm, before that she used to hang out with Fez the Fuzz Paw. Yeah, yeah, okay. You, he knows. The Fuzz Paw around for attitude, yeah. No. Because my memory starts with snit telling me that Beast Wars is coming on. Yeah. Beast Wars.

That's the snit telling me that Shadow Raiders is canceled. Yeah. Aw, Shadow Raiders is canceled. The later half of YTV, I like to call the Millennium Falcon Ark of YTV. Oh, yeah. Can we just go to a local trash dump and just drag Snit out of the garbage and have him in the background of all of our videos? We could probably just make you a Snit.

I bet you it's in there. Remember where he ended up? No, I don't know. Oh, space. What? They launched Snit into space for the finale. For real? Yeah.

But actually? Well, no. Oh, fuck it. That's for real. It's really. Yeah. I'm sure the YTV space program is top notch. Dude, the kayfabe says that Snit is in space.

In orbit. Wow. Fuck. Wow. Well, damn. Damn. Hi, America. How's it going?

And UK and Australia. I'm sorry we shit on your beer last week, America. Okay, so as a result of us shitting on American beer, I had my fucking mind completely blown. I'm not 100% how true this is, but I think I saw the same thing. It's basically the Canadian and American beers are measured by different measurement standards. Yeah. Volumes per by weight. Yeah.

Volumes by the king's foot. Something. You got something else. But the basic just if it is that your average. No, no, sorry. By weight or by volume. Yeah. Alcohol per weight.

Yeah. And we use different ones. And what it ends up being is that generally your average Molson 5% beer is roughly equivalent to, you know, an average, I don't know, American Budweiser, whatever, whatever. Which is also a pro like four and a half to 5%. But they market. No, this is one person relaying this just paragraph. Yeah.

This might or might not be confirmed. Yeah. He's saying it's. I also saw Australians chipping into the mix saying, yeah, dude, our beer ain't shit. It's like, oh, okay. It's fosters. It's pretty easy to test. Yeah.

They love fosters out there. They love it. It's Australian for beer. You can't have Australian beer be really alcoholic and dull your senses when Wolf Creek could be killing you. Fair enough. Fair enough. And before you come out and say anything, if a frosters wasn't Australian for beer,

then you guys would stop them. They wouldn't be able to stop them. You know what I mean? Yeah. So like if you are an Australian and hate fosters and everyone you know hates fosters and you know that fosters is a bunch of liars, then how come fosters on TV saying it's Australian for beer? Yeah.

Clearly. Clearly. It's just a marketing. You didn't do your due diligence in protecting your national name, which is so good and good. Yeah. I saw so many Australians like give me a pat on the back for knowing that Tony Abbott's a piece of shit. Everyone knows that.

Watch out Oliver. You can say almost any leader of any country is a piece of shit and you'll get pats on the back. Yeah. Everyone will be like oh man I fucking hate that piece of shit. Damn straight pet. Now let's go back to mistreating the aboriginals. Oh.

They stop? They took a break to come and do a high five. They make you promote Slasher Hawk to be their prime minister. Slasher Hawk to be there as Canadian hits. We shouldn't make these jokes. Hey man. Is it least appropriate or most appropriate? It can be.

Because what's worse? Straight up. Straight up. We're getting there. Straight up. Straight up. Like just call and ignore. Or integrate and fuck up.

Reprogram. Yeah. Of course. To remove your identity, which is worse. What you call. These are. If you walk in and you slash and you burn. These are.

They're good. Man. I was getting all fucking pumped up today. Thinking the most controversial thing I was going to say. It was going to be about Skyrim mods. No. No. No.

Just the good old like deforestation of the native people as it were. Yeah. Which is the great analogy for Skyrim mods. They'll grow back right? Yeah. Exactly. So what did you do when you were in Wally? Yeah.

I slept with my non asbestos blanket in my comfy bed and enjoyed. Enjoyed not being oppressed. I want to point out Wally. There's a bit of a historical faux pas there. Much like your musket joke. Asbestos didn't even exist until the modern era. So what's the truth of that? You mine asbestos out of the earth over in a little Quebec town known as asbestos.

Oh shit. That's a town. She's up here. Okay. And then that town fucking ghost town the fuck up when they found out that asbestos kills you. No. It's smallpox blankets.

You're thinking of smallpox blankets. Yeah. Okay. Okay. They had a bunch of Brits and French guys that were like, oh man, I had smallpox. I'm totally fine. Hey, rub your smallpox ticks all over these blankets. Here you go, man.

It's super warm. Yeah. Yeah, that's how that happened. And what'll we trade you in return? And the natives are like, here, smoke this. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Well, I guess I'll start out. And then they shot them out of a cannon. Yeah. Directly into the Pawnee fucking city hall. What is the name of the chief man in Pawnee? I can't. I don't remember. Because all the gags of him messing with white people over it are the funniest gags.

Yeah. Yeah. Because he's actually serious. And he's like, well, whatever, we're taking your money at my casino. No, seriously, though. Like the head sticking out of a cannon. Fucking Donkey Kong shit. My favorite is a woman that like talks.

So they burn her at the stake. And then Leslie goes, this was in 1973. Yeah. So yeah, I guess the biggest thing I did was I want to go check out the Joe Rogan show. Whoa. Which was fucking awesome. That dude knows how to put on a live performance. Was that in Montreal?

Yeah, that was here. This was like the most non-statement ever. Yeah. Well, of course Joe Rogan knows how to put on a live performance. You know who doesn't put on a good performance? Dave Chappelle. Well, it depends on how drunk he is. Or how much he hates to place the stakes.

Anyway, continue. But yeah, so UFC was in town this weekend. Oh man. Joe Rolls is like, fuck. That's smart. The last time you get two paychecks. Exactly. The last time, or the only time I went with you to Joe Rogan's show, UFC was also in

town and Joe Rogan spent like 20 minutes talking about how beautiful GSP was. Do you remember that? He went off. Yeah. How much of that was there? This time? Because he's right. No, this time it was awesome because like he took some quite, like he ignored most of

like the material relating to UFC stuff. That always opens up the floor for questions. Yeah. And it always turns into a shit show. And it always turns into a shit show. And there's always the one or two guys that are just way too into it. Way too. So they're just like, so who would you pair up with GSP?

Like let's say you got some guy at 200 pounds, right? Right. And then he's just going off and Joe's like, why are you guys so into this? I'm an announcer. You hear me going off on this. You can come talk to me after the show because I love the stuff. But we don't always have to go into it, you know? And he's like, some dudes are just like, all right.

So let's say that like, let's say like Rampage is on top of you like this, right? And he's got you in like this hold and like his crotch is like right in your face, right? What do you do? How do you get out of it? Yeah. Or like GSP is on top of you and he's got his dick right there in your mouth and he's like doing it to Joe. And Joe's like, dude, can you like, I don't, wait, hold on.

Rampage or GSP? He's like, I don't care. Just suck my dick. Whichever one, please. It's the UFC equivalent if every single discussion you had with Willie within two sentences was like, yo, did you see that new move in fighting games? Exactly. Yeah.

Like every time. And it's like, no, come on. Or like a really famous comic book writer has spoken word poetry sessions and everyone's like, talk about swamp things. That's that type of thing. He's like, no, but you're here for this. No, I'm not. My poetry, you asshole.

Don't tell me why I'm here. Talk about Kyle X the Extreme. Yeah. Talk about Miracle Man. Talk about Miracle Man now. But no, it was fun to see him like put these like drunken idiots in their place and then like, you know, just like do some random bits, take some random questions and like talk about the fucking eight or nine shows he has now.

He's got like all these different programs besides the podcast. He's like, he's got Meat Eater where like he just goes hunting and then like hunts and eats a meal. Okay. And they're just like, yeah, we're hanging out in the woods with whoever and we're just fucking with GSB. You know, and he's just like, yeah. And he's like, I like to take down the kind of animal that like you only need one kill

per year because you kill a moose and you get like 400 pounds of meat. That's correct. Bring it back to the wagon. And the best thing about hunting moose is if you fuck up, the moose eats you. Yeah. There's high risk, high reward. They're carnivorous. Did you know this?

You and your gun. Yeah. And then the moose equips your gun. Now the moose has a gun sticking out of its mouth. I'd like to see a hunting show where Hugh Jackman hunts like an actual wolverine. With his hands? With his hands. Are you for real?

He'll really kick your fucking ass in. Hugh Jackman, though. He'll punch it in the ribs. He'll punch it. He'll break out into song and try to woo it. That's true. And it'll win a war. If you punch a wolverine and the ball's over and over, it'll tap eventually.

But it's a lady wolverine. That's not going to work. That stuff still works a bit. That's my point. Yeah. You're dead. Well, you don't know. So, you know.

Anyway, he's killed. Anyway. And that's predictably so. He killed. I finally sat down and watched Attack the Block. Yeah. I finally went through that. A bit late to the party.

Go back in your room. Watch your Naruto. Yeah. Go home. Do your homework. Block your doors. Watch Naruto. Stay inside, you hear?

Hey, what's that over there? Let's kill it. It looks like Dolby it does. No, that was fucking great. It's a great movie, but I worry when I watched it, how much of my enjoyment is coming that I think that British people are hilarious. Well, there's that. This is the most specific British ever.

Yeah, there's that. The Jamaican British. And it's like the black girl on Bromwell High. Yeah, Bromwell High. Yeah, Bromwell High. That specific type. And it's just like, these characters are complete scumbags. Even Moses, too.

He has a moment of like, yeah, I'm going to be a guy. It's at the end, though. Yeah, but they're all pieces of shit. And it's like, I like how they don't really, they try to redeem them, but not really. They're streetskin. Moses' weird redemption moment is that he likes Spider-Man. Yeah. No, it's just fucking weird, you know?

But still, man, I give that movie a pass. You know what I say? Allow it. Allow it. Yeah. That drug dealer was also super. What was his name, the rapper? Not Tim Tams, but Hi Hats.

Hi Hats. Hi Hats. Yeah, that was a scary dude. Like after the first time you see me, he's kind of a joke. Then he shows up later and they're like, there's the monster right there. And he's like, I'm a fucking killer. I don't even care. I'm like, oh, okay.

You're not scared of the aliens like glow in the dark grizzly bear. All right. That's cool. That's niche. Hands on the strap. Don't give a fuck. Blah, blah, blah. It was great.

It was great. I, Marathon Daredevil, finished it off. Oh, you're done. Good. Yep. I didn't finish it off this weekend. Wow. I would have thought you would have gotten through by now because you started before everybody

else. I needed a giant block of time here. It scares me how much Vincent D'Onofrio looks like Bobby Kelly, like he looks so much like him. It's not even funny. I think that's how you do a low to the ground, low tech, street level Marvel story. Good job on that. You embarrassed WB's efforts.

Embarrassed. Full sale. To be 100% fair, Daredevil is like the specific type of street level where it was. Oh, yeah. Comedian. Yeah, well, damn. That is weird. A specific type of street level where it can only be gritty, plus they need to redeem

themselves from the Ben Affleck movie, which is anything but gritty, I think. Totally. Yeah. Actually, wait. That Daredevil, if I recall, killed someone in the first five minutes. Remember, Ben Affleck, Daredevil, there's a guy in our... There was a guy in front of a subway. And just let him die.

Yeah, then he kicks Green Mile in the knees, whatever. Next day... That was a lecture, right? Well, I was going to say Charlie Cox, the guy that plays Daredevil, said, yeah, we're confirmed for a second season now. What I would like to see, I have no bearing on this story, obviously, but I would like to see a little bit of Elektra hinted at. I'd like to see Punisher, and if there's Daredevil, there's got to be Bullseye eventually.

Yeah, specifically. Bullseye's in the show. Specifically Frank. Frank Miller's Elektra. Right? Don't fuck that up. Yeah. Yeah, no.

I think they did it classy, and the reveals, the build-ups are all really nice. Rosario Dawson's a really good actor. She's awesome. Shaved head, yeah. Did you have a shaved head on that? No. On one side, it's shaved. Just to do, like, 10% of one side of her face.

It's enough to get me where I need to go. Where Matt needs to be. What about the fight at the end of the second episode that was just going up and down? Yeah, old boy style fight, and fucking foggy, man, foggy Nelson's fun stuff. I didn't, I thought this was going to be the annoying sidekick, Sam-type kind. I think he had some annoying bits, but he also had some good bits for himself. But he's made to be like the pudgy sidekick, but like, no, it ends up being not embarrassing. He's less annoying than the foggy that's in the comics.

Absolutely. That foggy just doesn't trust Matt Murdoch for anything, and constantly jumps to the worst conclusion all the time. No, and that's exactly it. And that's like, okay, dude, like, stop filling the office with this poison smell shit. I have superpowers. Stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, foggy, like, I think is a good, like, they made him trustworthy, reliable, clearly out to do his own thing, but like, you can, you know, you can see him coming back and sticking around. There's two things I want to ask you, because you and I are the, did you watch it yet, Link? I'm in episode nine. Okay, you and I are the only ones to have finished it. Do you agree with my earlier statement that you can feel like Punisher is one street over in every scene of the show?

Yeah. It's so easy, right? Yeah. And the other statement that best reason to start this was like, yeah, it's the guy on the street. It's the situation of the instantaneous moment of like, what are you going to do, not become a superhero? Yeah.

Yeah. No, it's a really awesome catalyst. It's impossible to argue with. Yeah. Yeah. So that's fucking great. You know, a bunch of stuff caught up on Louie. Louie's awesome.

Everyone knows that. I can't watch it. It's too hot. It's too hot. I'm really happy with, like, because I left off in the fourth season and I'm so happy with like where it went because. I didn't finish the third. You didn't finish the third?

You haven't either. Okay. Well, like, someone comes back. No. Awesome. From the dead. No. I know.

Exactly. That's fucking awesome. And I'm like, yes. I'm so happy this person's back. Yeah. Okay. So that was great. Continue with Ready Player One, Liam.

You know, and. Are you done? I'm not done yet. Okay. But it's still going. It's still. You know what it is? I was explaining this to my girlfriend and it's like, it is like, it is, it is so huge.

It's like a fucking massive Grand Canyon sized amount of reference material they're covering, but it's all kiddie pool in depth. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's a video game sci-fi book for everyone. Absolutely. But your ankles will get wet at the most and that's going to be it. Yeah.

And I'm afraid that like, when they adapt this into a movie, it's got to get even more shallow. Yeah. So someone might look at this and go, I don't know, guys, joust is a little obscure. No, I know. You might need to replace that with an even more obvious game. Like Minecraft. Like get pong in there or something. It's going to be like.

You know what I mean? Did you guys see that fucking shit of the Twitter response to ESPN 2? Yes. It's showing off garbage. God damn MOBA shit on TV, on real, real-ass TV. That shit is the best. That's terrible. People are assholes.

Dude, it's so. No, it's the best. I like the ESPN 2 announcer who tweeted that like, she didn't know what was going on, but god damn the announcers were good and kept entertaining. It's funny because I was just having this conversation this weekend where I was explaining the whole thing where there are more people watched the League finals on Twitch than watched the NBA finals. That's correct.

Because it's worldwide. It's worldwide. And the fact that- Also because when you watch NBA, no one's on fire. No one's doing monster jams. They've had like for years and they've never pulled it out. They've never pulled it out. And so I'd say those refs just outing everybody that gets on fire with a bucket of water.

God damn it, it's all killing the hype. No, Clinton was never playing. So, you know, whatever, I remember thinking about this stuff, about how like the FEC back in 09, 010 was trying to be like, yeah, let's get on TV because fighting games are super visual and- It makes no sense to me why fighting games aren't the defacto- Every single time I see this, I see goddamn MOBA shit on a television screen and it's- I know video games pretty well.

I don't know MOBAs. But whatever. I know video games pretty well. I look at that and it is a visual fucking mess. And it is impossible for me as somebody who should be able to parse it to even try. There's a fighting game. It's too- You guys aren't fighting!

You'll fight with a bar that says life. I agree with you and I agree with you 100% but it's hard to argue with the sheer amount of- No, of course. As the fighting game community is still too dirty. Well, they don't want to be esports. Yeah. It's a history. It's understandable.

Like team with UFC and just play fighting game finals after the UFC pay-per-view. The swerve is what's interesting here though because as time went on, the goal of wanting to be on TV becomes more irrelevant because TV is irrelevant now. Becoming irrelevant. Becoming irrelevant and ESPN2 is airing games and shit like that but it's like, yeah, but Twitch is already beyond that. Yeah. Like the mountain top has like sunk into the earth.

It's gotten more achievable. So what you're saying is that we're looking at a TV internet equivalent of Waterworld? You're standing on the little plateau that is online streaming. You're trying to reach up for the TV one and then suddenly the thing you're standing on shoots past and you're like, oh. It's like the day after tomorrow when all the buildings- Yeah, that's right. That's like that scene.

Like more people watch Max fighting fucking Biofreaks final boss in the NBA finals. Fuck. No, your day after tomorrow for just the end of the year. Am I at home? Nowadays we have to reference San Andreas with The Rock. Oh, okay, sure. Let's do that then. Yeah.

It's not out yet though. Is that a Grand Theft Auto movie? I wish. No, it's the San Andreas fault line goes nuts and The Rock has to punch it. I'm good with this. No, the Grand Theft Auto movie is Harry Potter. Okay. Yeah.

All right. That's correct. Yeah. Anyway, so there's that. Played some AC Chronicles. Did you guys- More like AC Moronicles. So I didn't-

Well, I just fell asleep. I continued to not give a shit and then every single thing that anyone talked to me about this over the past week was good for you, Pat, for not giving a shit. So started that up and I just blame myself for just not paying attention or not knowing. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to grab this one on this. Remember? We got this on a piece of paper.

Remember? Are you stupid? Are you the stupidest motherfucker in the world? What an Ubisoft movie. No. Yeah. No, just- Don't buy a piece of-

Okay. I blame myself. I just- So what happened? Just straight up was not thinking and was like- I had all three controllers in front of me and I was like, uh, fuck it, whatever. I don't care. I don't feel like switching over, you know?

And I just jumped down steam and just grabbed it and that was that, right? Yeah. No. And so what had I looked up? Everyone gets their one. Everyone gets the one. Total, like pure brain fart. What can I say?

Yeah. Load it up. Hey, yo, sign in to Uplay. I don't want to. No, sign in to Uplay. It's offensive how bad Uplay is on PCs versus how negligible slash decently is on consoles. But it's amazing how they got past the like, unlike the origin wall where it's like, no, go to origin to purchase this game, it's like, no, buy it on Steam, you're fine.

Now try to boot it. No, you're not. Sign in. Yeah. Sign in and use a secondary client after you blow up. You have to keep open. And I'm like, okay. And here's the fun part.

Wow. Far Cry 3 and some of the, and Far Cry 4, I think were some of the least egregious ever. You had to load it, but that was it. And what you would do is you would say, uh, uh, you would put, you would turn it on an offline note or whatever. It's like, never pop any fucking achievements. Never, ever, ever sign in to Uplay's online features. For any reason ever.

All it is is an extra button press and then every now and then for some reason that would unselect. Yeah. And then it'd be like, oh, yeah, oh fuck, so we lock in cause it shut up. So that was gross. And I was like, whatever, you know, fuck this. And then you got into the real fun. Yeah.

And you like, you saw PC game. Well, like here's what it is, man. It's like you started out and it's, it's, it's just, it feels like stiff and, you know, you remember last week I said, I watched a video of fighting and I went, this doesn't look great. It looked really stiff. But I was like, whatever, if you're fighting, you fucked up. So whatever.

And then it fit in the doubt, right? And you know, so it gets a bit stiff and then you get past the tutorials and stuff and then it fucking cuts to what the flashback scene. Yeah. And then you start talking and I fucking put the controller down, Alt F4 and just, I just stand in the darkness. Because what's so stupid about this is that Shao was in Ember's movie with Ezio, the same old Ezio.

And it was the right voice actor. Yeah. Cause that was promo materials for two or three. Yeah, that was for revelations, I think. So why? Can we get the dude back? And so they contacted him and they're like, Hey, did you know, and he's like, No, I didn't know about this.

Actually, I found out at the same time everyone else did that there was an Ezio cameo here and I bet, I bet you like, that's, that's the only point he shows up. So like, don't pay this guy. Just get some random fucking, try to remember the basics of CQC. Literally the most important UB soft character over the past five years. And I think, and like, when I was looking up like what the fuck happened with this, apparently I think the guy that was, that is like the replacement voice goes on credit or something like that.

But it's just, it's one of the producers thing to do, cause you're like, that would be an awesome like, handoff moment for like, Hey, there's my boy, yeah, member, and no, you know, and like, I pretty much was like, Ah, doesn't that make you feel like, like good about, you know, well, they made good on unity with this. Yeah. Me and, me and Matt, I think both played it for two levels and just stopped. Yeah. I stopped the trap of three.

Yeah. I'm, I'm gonna get to that quitting point I bet. It is a slow, blinding game, but you, you heard my excitement in the last couple of weeks, man. See, you guys don't know UB as well as me, but you know, you haven't bought PC games for a man in the past, and that's, that's a, we'll never buy that's a force multiplier on disappointment. Okay.

There are only a few UB games I ever bought on PC, and that was the Silent Hunter series, which is fucking awesome, but I will never buy a modern. Was the Silent Hunter three like the very first game to use that fucked up Super DRM? I'm not sure. That game played good. And that's exactly it is that like all that shit and even the, the crappy Ezio would have been fine if the game just moved really smoothly felt like, which it does not water, which it does not.

And it doesn't. The only thing I like about it is when you move from the background to the foreground, that's kind of neat. I like that. And I like the jump. I like the floaty jump. All Assassin's Creed games have floaty jumps, but you're not running up things. Like you're climbing a lot, but yeah, like when I was playing it, I just go, is this

as good as the similar mechanic in Mark of the Ninja? It's not fail. Okay. This part not as good. Fail. Is the art style is good? No. Fail.

The game actually looks like it was on the PS2. I think AC Chronicles China is worse than AC Bloodlines. Is what? Worse than AC Bloodlines. I only played AC Bloodlines. That was the PSP. PSP game. I'll tell you.

I think it's worse than that one. That one is sad. Like I thought that the separation from the being a pre-order bonus into being its own standalone title plays of load of confidence. Dude, it's an apology game for how fucked up Unity is. That's why people get it for free. They don't get it for free. If you bought the season pass.

Yeah, if you bought the season pass. But it was always bald in the season pass. Yeah, but originally that was the only way to get it. Yeah. Well, what I wanted to say is because, like I thought you were going to bring that up. And what I wanted to say is the only one that we're going to see influenced is, is they're the only ones are the non-China ones. Because the China ones was planned like way back.

That's the only hope. The other two seem to have sprung up after the fact. So the only hope is for the future ones. China is a bit of a rush. It's just boring. It's like, it's boring. And the thing with it too is that again, it's you're going into a genre that has been perfected.

Right? Pretty much. Like there have been so many games that just do 2D action in this style that feel and play amazing. I mean, there was a, there was a GBA version of Splinter Cell that was 2D stealth that was amazing. That was better tomorrow. It was good.

Well, I'm always going to point back to Shadow Complex. Just running around in an empty box with a fully upgraded suit. It was great. Strider. But even without all those, the remake, re-release on XBLA of Prince of Persia was really good. Yeah, that too. It's made by Ubisoft. Exactly.

Exactly. No, it's not Climax. So it's just Climax. It's just confusing. Oh, it actually is Climax. Climax Studios. Oh, Climax Studios. Oh, it's because I like that developer, but I don't know.

I want to like that developer. But like, why would you just ignore history and like, like get out of something? Assassin's Creed's all about ignoring history, huh? My main red flag when I was playing, I'm not sure if you got to that point. Clim's certainly dead, is when two guards are talking to each other, you are invincible. Yeah, yeah. One guard. One guard.

Fine. He has his back turned to you. You can't see the other guy. The nature of a conversation is shot, reverse shot. And the tutorial is. So there's always a guard staring at you. And the tutorial is like. I can't believe it.

The tutorial is like, jump past one. Yeah. Jump over them. Land right behind the other guy. Like he has been a foot behind them. They're fucking talking to each other. I think, man, they're okay. They're like, this is a 2D plane.

So it's like a narrow hallway. So a guard, if another guard is blocking you, he can't see you. Chinese is such a hard language that it requires all of your senses. Yeah. Even Chinese people are like, oh my god, oh my god, this is so hard to talk. All right, I challenge you all, like if you can't do it. I'm just focusing on everything. Yeah.

Wow, what a bummer. Sounds like a good experience. Yep. So, you know. Did you return it as quick as possible? I can only hope that by Russia they've done something out there. So not anymore. It's too late now.

No, no, it's fine. By Russia, maybe some things have changed. Maybe they will. I hope so. But I don't know. Maybe. I had my mouse hovering over that or Titan Souls and I should have clicked on Titan Souls instead. Because I bought them both and I just went with this, but I should have went with that.

Titan Souls is a somewhat better experience. Oh. The problem with Titan Souls, I like Titan Souls. It totally hurts. I like Titan Souls. The problem with Titan Souls is the constant walk back to the boss. And that doesn't sound so bad in like, and it's not so bad in a Souls game or something. But in Titan Souls, the walk back to the boss involves no enemies on the way, just walking.

We're talking about a minute here? 40 seconds. And you get to the boss and of course the boss kills you in one hit and then you do it again. No immediate retry. No immediate retry. Walk back to the boss, walk back to the boss. And it doesn't sound so bad. And I read the reviews that were giving it 7s and I was like, that doesn't sound so bad.

And then I started playing it and I was like... It's satisfying. Is that the only thing? That's the only thing, but it is constant. The only thing in the game is bosses. Okay, I think I know how I can summarize this. No, I was very succinct with that. No, I don't think that means summarization any further.

No! The problem is... The problem is, imagine if you condensed Dark Souls or Bloodborne, you condensed everything by a factor of 5 except for the walk to the boss. Well, the other problem is in those games you fight the boss for a while. In this game you usually, I would say on average you fight the boss for less than 15 seconds. Is that if you win? No, that's if you lose. Okay.

I think the longest fight I had with the boss was maybe 30 seconds. Wow. Like, the fights are so incredibly short that you don't feel any satisfaction from the loss because you just get blasted by something and then you do it again. And you just get blasted by something again. And like, it is a fast learning experience when it happens because you look and you say, oh, I know how to do that. Or it's a slow learning experience when you're like, I'm just trying to stay alive and look for a weak point. So it's enjoyable, but it's not as good as I would have hoped. Although there's a cool command in the game.

And if there was a retry button, that would have been... That would be fucking fantastic. Well, modders? Fight bosses, yeah. Hey, hey, hey, yeah. There's a cool command in the game that I don't know if you knew about, but you could hold one of the buttons to call the arrow to you, but you have to stand still. That's cool. And if it gains enough speed, it'll hurt stuff on the way back, which is, again, one hit kills one.

Thor button. I love that. It's nifty. And last thing, I have a question actually for you, Liam. Persona Q. Yeah. How far did you get into it? I almost clicked by now with one click, but then I opted not to.

Because of what you found. And I bought a different game. Okay, got it. Yeah, exactly. Did you finish it? No, but I... Stalled on my 3DS. I just want to know how long it is.

How long the beat will tell you a bit to me. A lot of hours. Yeah, because essentially I just want to know how many floors of stuff we're going to go through. Tons, because... Welcome to entry in Odyssey. Yeah, because it's a very, very drip-fed story as it were. Dungeon RPGs, yeah. And you don't have the school and S-link antics in between.

No, at all. This is why the answer sucks. You're describing why the answer sucks. Yeah, it's just the dungeon. There's no actual exploring. All right, how many hours are you in right now? About six. About six?

Approximately 72 hours to go. Which should be a cakewalk for you. So, Willie, do you want to spend Persona 3 or Persona 4 time with a game that has a dramatically reduced variety? No. We'll see, man. We'll see. No, we won't. No, we won't.

You play it. Don't. We'll see. We'll see where my stamina goes up to, but play Front Mission 3 instead. I am playing that. Okay, okay. I just stopped talking about it because it's so good. Yeah, that's it.

There's nothing, you know. But yeah, I just wanted to know because you go down because you hit a stairway and you clear a floor and you do all the mapping. And you do it again. Then you do it again and you do it again. And then you get to the final one and you're like, okay, and are we just going to go into another thing like this? Dude, that's dungeon RPGs. You go in and you fight and you fight and you survive until the boss. And then you beat the boss, hopefully.

And then you get your drips of story and then you do it again. And it's every time it's dungeon, dungeon, dungeon boss. It's because the tiny sliver of story. And then again, dungeon RPGs. The thing that you're working through is the appeal. Yes. So like, yeah. Well, I mean, you know, I'm waiting for the cast to like, no.

Yeah, how big is your party right now? Like six hours. It's five guys, you know. Okay, so yeah, there's still a lot missing. Yeah, so, well, there's more than five to choose from. But it's still one half of the cast, you know. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, that's me.

That's me. I played a bunch of Titan souls. Yeah. I think we've already got a little foot in the doors. Let's go over to him. I think I'm like 30, 40% kind of in. It's, I can't say it's ever all that satisfying. Like it's nice to beat a boss, but it just happens and it's just kind of one shot.

And again, like you're just running in and just blasting yourself against the wall time and time again until you get it. It's nifty. I think the best bit about it is that one trophy in the game for not ever rolling. Yeah, what's it called? Called Hard Bizkit. Yeah, it's rolling, rolling, rolling. Yeah.

Um, it's, it's not bad, but for the, what is it, $15? I don't think it's, I don't think it's worth it. Because I remember at PAX Prime, you and at least Wally were like Titan souls. Yeah. Titan souls. I played against like two bosses and I was like, yeah, this is tight because it's the first area where you just walk up a set of stairs and you're done. But when you get to, there's a section that's lost woods, right?

And it's like, I'll do the lost woods again. Oh no. And there's like two bosses in the lost woods. You have to go different paths for each one. So it's like, yeah. And it's a shame because the music and the environments are really pretty and it feels nice to walk around, but there's nothing else to do in the world. There aren't even collect, well as far as I know, there aren't even collectibles.

Not even lizards? Not even lizards. If there were collectible lizards that you'd get stuff for picking up, that'd be fun. But there's nothing else to do. Pick up this collectible, do that. Thankfully, there'll be another very similar game or four. Tomorrow. The next two days.

Jotun's on the way. You know what I mean? No, wait for the sale. It's fun, but not as good as you hope. Not as good as you hope. Yeah, exactly. I played a lot of Sayana Umihara Kawase, which is a re-release of a 3DS game on the beta that's remade from the Super Nintendo game.

It's a girl with a grappling hook. It's actually a fishing rod. No, you won't like it. No, the gameplay is there. So you can shoot this fishing rod in eight directions and it sticks to whatever surface it hits. Got it. Ice surfaces, you know, stuff like that.

And you can reel yourself in or pull yourself, you know, let more slack. And you swing yourself around and you throw yourself about. And it's really heavily physics-based. If I'm not mistaken, Bionic Commando is not physics-based, right? It's just about fixed swings. This is like if you went Biocom, took away the guns, and made physics a big part of it. Solving or enemy killing? She just needs to get to an exit.

Figuring out how to get to the exit. Exit. Drilldozer. Not as straightforward. Drilldozer's really simple in how you get to the exit. It's usually a line. This game is like, here's this big level in a square, figure out how to get up and around and over this.

And there's usually a couple ways. And there's often levels with multiple doors that branch the levels. There's 70 levels in the game and there's like eight different endings or something, depending on how you branch. And this was the Super Nintendo version with the first episode of Game Center CXI ever watched. You had me watch. Yeah, it's a really great episode.

I've always wanted to play it since then. And I'm really glad because this remake of it, which by the way is fantastic, comes with the full PS1 game on it, which is a remake of the Super Nintendo game. Wow! So it comes with... There's a lot of platform jumping in this series. The modern remake is more of a reimagining of it, and it changes a lot of stuff, but the PS1...

You want to write the name again? Sayonara? Sayonara Umihara Kawase Placa. Kawase? It's super, super good. If... I don't understand... So I'm just going to think of Sayonara and then Daigo Umihara.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That'll get you there. Katawa, but not Katawa. Just ask him. Okay. The 3DS version is apparently really good as well. The only thing I can say about the Vita version is it runs at 60 instead of 30.

I think they're also probably kind of expensive for what they are. No, this one's 20. The 3DS one, I think, is a bit more. It's 20! It's still expensive. No, dude, it's a fantastic game. No, I know of it still. It's...

For what that gameplay is, it's... Is it Bangaiyo style, just like pick level 2, pick level 3, keep going? You have to unlock the levels, but it's... Yeah, just pick level, pick level. No story. No story. Nothing like that. But like for both the games in there, I think it's really, really good.

And it's really interesting. It's by Agatsuma who did Code of Princess, right? And for some reason, they opted to release this in the West last Tuesday. And it comes out in Japan in like two weeks. Weird. I don't know, but it's really bizarre and it comes out... It's 5,000 yen in Japan. It's 20 bucks here.

So, I don't know, they've taken a gamble there. It'd be really cool if more Japanese companies would be able to release so soon. But it's resulted in some like compliance issues where like trophy pack language is Japanese. Oh, snap. How? What's the name of it, like translated? Sayonara Umihara Castle. It is raw.

It is raw. It is raw. It's not even off the boat because it didn't even get on the boat yet. One of the old ones they localized and it was called Yumi's Odd Odyssey. But then they ditched that and they went to just the fucking raw Japanese name. Wow, weird. It's a really, really good game. If you have a 3DS or a Vita, like give it a swing.

Give it a swing. Ah! Ah! Yeah. And the original, like super, super good too. It's in the corner. He actually kind of is already. I am in the corner.

We're all in corners the way we have to set up. I watched a bunch of Daredevil. That show is good. Yeah. That this is like such a good interpretation of King Ben. Yeah. It's crazy. You know what's really cool?

When you get far enough into a show that like just the first opening notes of the title theme are like. It's super good. It feels good. You get like, it makes you feel like, yeah, come on get me. You know what you mean. And like now those first opening like little violin and piano strokes of the Daredevil theme and the blood starts to pour and you're like.

They make you feel good. Yeah. I don't get that. Ever. Get that? That skips the intro every single time. Well, remember, Willie, how do I watch TV shows? Poorly.

Yeah. Just in one big show. Incorrectly. In one big go. I don't have time for this. For me, it's like house of cards, click play, go sit down, move my meal, put the cake down, get all ready. And like that song in the intro to house of cards just sets up the fucking betrayal times

that are about to come. There's that problem where you get your food to sit down with something and you finish your food within like five minutes. Every time. Every time. And you're just watching the show with nothing. And you're just watching the show with nothing. Yeah.

Yeah. It happens in movies, happens everywhere. You can't get around it. Fuck it sucks. Well, do you have to eat faster because every time you look down at your plate to get the food in your mouth properly, you're not looking at the screen. I don't do that. I've learned how to eat and keep my eyes on the screen.

That's why there's slime everywhere. And my girlfriend can't do that. And it's like constantly like pause and rewind. No. Because I just have a blender with a straw built in. See if it has clear plates, so when he's licking the plate, he's still seeing the screen. There you go. Right?

But it's just no. That's a problem, man. It's constantly like, oh, we're watching JoJo and it's like, it's a subtitled show. You have to. You have to watch it. I watch JoJo with a friend of mine and he will get a text and he'll look at it and then immediately he'll watch it too because he'll look back up and someone is actually on fire now.

Yeah, exactly. What? I didn't punch that spaghetti. I thought they were just playing video games. He'll miss an arc. Yeah. Like, or like, or like, or like, she'll put her head down to like cut into like the thing and like make a nice little bite size thing.

Don't do that. Just pick it up and eat it. And someone is like dead. No, and we visited King's Landing and left. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, I get you. Yeah, otherwise, I read through a manga called Barakaman up to where it's...

I hope that's about who I think it's about. It's not. No. It's about a calligrapher. Is it about Barack Obama? No. Oh. It's about a calligrapher who goes away and he lives in this like little coastal village

in Manhattan, like super, super tiny town where everyone knows everyone. And it's just about the antics that go on there with the people in this village. And it really straddles this like tiny fine line between like super comedy and heartwarming and it's really, really good. And then his hand turns into an alien. Yeah. No. It's not a ball shit like that.

Life of slice. Life of slice. Okay. But it's really, really good. And again, it's really heartwarming, which is a good change for that kind of thing. I understand this concept. Yeah, well, you would if you read it. The cast is like really varied too.

There's like a kindergarten there and the teacher at the kindergarten is a super scumbag and like he's a total asshole. But like all the kids are super goofy and whatever. The cast is really strong and it just makes you feel good. So I just want to say that that mango will make you feel good if you read it. It becomes super sad. Have you seen, do you even know what we're talking about? No.

No. No one's a bigger kindergarten teacher scumbag than the Azomanga Diode teacher. No, of course not. No, that's not a contest. I don't presume to go that far. Yeah. Cool. Well, everyone's talking about crushing disappointments like Assassin's Creed.

I'm really pushing moronicles because it was made by morons. Anyway. But you said you like climax. It was produced by morons. At Ubisoft. Oh, come on. It's not. It's not.

It's not. The producers don't make the game. Yeah, they do. No, they don't. No, you don't get to do that. They made the decisions. I think. No.

I think they ran out of time or they had not enough time. And they were given extra time. Something was clearly short in the requirements to make this a good game. Anyway. That's just because I'm so disappointed with it. I mean, one of those things might have been good developers, but we won't know. But I did play something that was, wow, holy shit, forgotten memories, altered realities which Guy Sihie talked to us about the podcast, The Survival Horror Game.

I was pretty much blown away by it because. Did you get the spooks? I got a little spooked here and there because you start that up and you go, okay, well, this is probably not going to be great because. You're playing it on iOS device. You're playing on iOS device, certainly. And secondly, Survival Horror, especially now, even the master can fuck it up. Even the guy that created it sort of can mess it up on occasion.

So I boot this up and I'm like, all right, it has an opening cinema of various fucked up things and it says words like gender conditioning. And I'm like, that's a pretty tough subject. That's probably going to be planned to the game in some weird way. That's a pretty good start. And it goes into it and you get shot and she goes, didn't I get shot? That was the last thing I remember while I'm here, wherever I am now. I'm like, that's a good premise.

You, the last thing you remember was getting shot in the face. That's pretty good. You find these tape, like old tape recorders and it's a girl that's taunting you saying, you have to find me if you want any answers. Then you find this girl and she's, I'm not sure you remember seeing the key art for this game, but it's a redheaded girl in a lounge chair with a bunch of mannequins all around it. Super creepy.

You find that girl and she's there. She's physically there. She's got animation or models moving. She still can't talk to you other than in a tape video recorder that's next to her. I can't talk to you in any other way, but this, that's what the video recorder tells you. So the character is physically in front of you. She still can't talk to you.

You still got nothing. And I'm like, that's awesome. I don't know why, but that's awesome. This opening section is all in red, uh, like tarps, like, like it's, it's just the red rune from Twin Peaks. I'm like, that's really good. I really like that. And I don't have a weapon and I don't see a single enemy for 40 minutes.

And I'm like, that's super good. Your flashlight constantly runs out of power. And of course, the main, the first thing that I think of is go get batteries. Nope. There's rechargers on the wall. You just got to find them and then recharge your thing. And I'm like, that means your levels are designed with, you should be running out of battery around there and they were pretty on point.

The only kind of thing is that there was a couple of times like twice when I'm like, I know I want to keep exploring over here. It's very alien, um, alien isolation. So the one time when my battery ran out, it went pitch black and I just started this music boom, boom, and you heard something moving, just ran and rubbed against walls and pressed X. And I just happened to go into a room that had a save, the save rooms have inc ribbons. Oh, like they're just saved this sketch and you're limited and you put them in an Apple

too. Nice. And I'm like, that's super good. And just everything about it, the voice acting, the music was really awesome. The voice acting, the main character, the girl is poor, but that's awesome because everyone else was really good. So it made me think that they were trying to pull us out of the zoo. She feels like Sunderland.

Okay. Yeah. I remember when I looked at early screens of this, the technical quality of the art was really high. It's pretty high. It's pretty high. Pat, remember playing that we Japanese game on for the scariness marathon with Matt and Pat, the one where there was a mannequin that was behind us and we turned and we saw it.

We freaked out that has this all over where I go down a hallway, I look at stuff, I turn, the hallway is now blocked with mannequins that are all like, no, my personal favorite version of that is condemned one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like every degree that you turn, it's teleporting, it's directly outside your field of view.

So you do a full turn and everything is changing, it's so... Condemn is such a fucking good... Condemn is good. Let alone a launch title. That fucking bearer, man. That's Condemn 2. That's Condemn 2. Yeah.

The only kind of thing where I went, oh, that kind of sucks is that once the last one I played was just last night where there's two mannequins attacking me, there's three enemy types already introduced like scary dolls and I'm like, yep, sure. Scary dolls are scary. Check that one out. Condemn gave it to us, obviously, but you try to go in your inventory and replenish your health, the game world is active while you're doing that. So I was getting hit trying to heal myself, which I was not a fan of because I died.

It needs to be people like me that are like Resident Evil inventory freaks to be able to do that fast enough. The menu is not quick. Oh, no. So I was kind of taking a fucking battery. So I guess the lesson here is don't use your inventory when you're in combat ever. Also, Pat, you get attacked while doing a puzzle. Great.

Oh my god. And it was from, no, no, I mean, you thought you were locked into a puzzle and then I did half of the puzzle. I was like, okay, I'm getting there. Then I saw the shadow of an enemy behind me was casting on the wall in front of me. I went, oh, wait, no, I wasn't even right. And then it starts attacking. That is confidence shattering for the entire game.

And the last thing, I went up to a coffee machine and she said, a coffee machine, do you feel it, Zach? Get out. Nope. I will not get out because that happened. Wow. That's going to be weird for anyone who doesn't know. Yeah.

Sure. And then the other enemy premonition fans, I was like, yeah. Why would you be playing it to begin with? You'll see your guy see he really quickly on a, like an answering machine. He just tells you, why are you at the asylum? Holy shit, I'll come and help you. Give me a little time. I'll be there.

Yeah. I assume in episode two or... Yeah. He said as much as you do. Yeah, I should have. No, I, like I said, I died last night because I'm playing it on the fiance's cell phone because she has an iPhone 6. So like...

On your screen. Yeah, on the night screen, whatever. I complained a little bit on Tumblr, I said, these touch screen controls, not great. But I went to the options. I said, the only thing that was hard was turning the camera, turn the character fighting, swinging with, guess what the first weapon is? Pipe. Rusty pipe.

Damn. Anyway, moving the camera. They know. Moving the camera with your right thumb was a bit hard, but then it went to options. No, jack that up. And then it worked pretty well. But still... I'd rather get the PC...

It's no controller or mouse and keyboard. Vita or Wii U versions, which hopefully will come out this year. And I was really, really blown away because it was, like, it felt like classic survival horror. Like, the hour and a half I played of it was like, I enjoyed this more than it did. Good to know at least one of those games is coming out. Of Evil of Thin. Yeah, yeah.

Let's take a quick word from our sponsors. Sure. Yo, remember when you loved your mom? No. Remember when you used to make, like, macaroni art and, like, red and just go around the house and put all the shit that you could find together into a little thing? Dude, that was last week. Two years ago.

Oh, I get you. You just present her with this bouquet of garbage you collected from her in the house. And she would smile and be like, thanks, honey. Look, Mom, it's dirt. And then she'd cover your eyes and put it in the trash. You know, I love you anyway. You tried, but you're my son's soul. There's a gold star for you.

Exactly. I have to. I do remember that. You reminded me. Thank you. Well, you know, why don't we actually try to make Mom happy for once? Is there an alternative? What?

You know, I mean, collecting garbage and all is cute when you're like five, but now that you're in your 20s to 30s. Is there a way to make the overlord of chores happy? You probably do want to make her happy. And one of those ways, my friends, is to head on down to proflowers.com. Pro flowers. Yes. Plums like flowers.

It's true. I'm told this every year when I forget my mom's birthday. It's an easy to use website that lets you order a vase of flowers that's delivered straight to her right in time from other things. Straight to Mom's. Dang it. And it's actual beautiful flowers, roses if you want. It's not the macaroni and lint pulled off the floor.

Trying to spell out, I love you, Mom. These flowers say thanks for fucking dad without a rubber. I'm really glad you did that. That's one way to put it, Pat. But to get down to it, specifically, if you head to proflowers.com and you use the promo code FRIENCAST, you can get a special premium vase with added chocolates. Chocolate? That's actually not...

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I'll eat the chocolates as I'm sending the flowers to my mom. Well then you'd have to send them to yourself and then physically take them over to your mom and that ruins the whole thing. Plus, you send them to yourself with a card that says it's to your mom. It's an option select. Yeah.

So is there mom support? There is mom support. But right now they're offering 100 blooms with a free glass vase for 20 bucks and like I said, you can add that premium vase and chocolates to it for 10 more. You get a nice, awesome Mother's Day package ready to go for your mom. That's not bad. And of course, for any other occasion, regularly, you can also just use proflowers to tell your boss, hey man, you're a really good boss.

Thanks, Woolly. You're looking at you, kid. You would never send us that. You're such a digger. If he sent me a bunch of flowers and chocolate, I'd be like, this is weird, but I like it. I could get used to this, Liam. So once again, that's proflowers.com. That's the promo code Friendcast.

You want to click on the little mic and enter that code in to let them know who sent you. And it's just come to my attention that as of this week's Friday, this Mother's Day offer does expire. So it's for Mother's Day, really? Yes, it's for Mother's Day. So this offer expires this Friday at midnight. So head on down, show your mom your lover, and throw out the lids, macaroni and cheese fuckin' murals.

Chester Pro. Murals. Yeah, flowers. There you go, professional flowers. Yo, tell your mom I said hi. Yeah, see the macaroni's amateur shit. This is pro shit. Throw shit.

There you go. Thanks for flowers. Thanks for flowers. I looked for cats. You looked for a play buddy, right? Yeah, a play buddy. You remember when we were in Buffalo, we walked by that cat at the auction center, and he was like, I've got to go in there right now.

That's what that was. That was the name. Was that the inception? No, that's a fine. That cat is perfectly right for bringing that up, but I went in there because I was amazed that the first thing I walked into a mall in Buffalo was a cat adoption center in a mall. That's not here.

There's nothing like that here. Any other places have a fuckin' bit. Well, there's the one in the mall downtown that's got the pet store. It's a pet store. He's talking about an adoption center for rescue animals. Cat adoption center. Oh yeah, you got to go over to Nemer for that. Yeah, yeah.

So we went to the SPCA. Which is what you're supposed to do. If you get a pet, you're supposed to go to the SPCA. So we went in there and we're kind of like, oh, this might not be great. It might be kind of depressing. Oh, it's the worst day of your life. I've never been in there. I've never been in there to rescue a damaged animal.

I've never been in there before, but we go in and see him nice enough. There was a guy at the fucking counter that's like, yeah, I have a dog. I want to give him to you. I fucked that piece of shit. And he looked like a piece of shit. He looked like this. He looked like that guy that took pictures of his penis on Parks and Rec. Remember that sewage guy?

Like sewage Joe? Oh, yeah. Anyway, he was a real scumbag looking guy. I said, I want to give you my dog. I'm like, what type of dog is he? I don't know. Like, well, okay, if you're going to get, you have to fill out this paper. Why do I have to fill out a paper?

Because to give us the dog's information, I don't get it. Can I just drop the dog off? And she's just telling him every step of the thing. He's like, I don't understand. And I was just like, get the fuck out of here, sir. You're doing a bad thing. I'm trying to do a good thing. We want to get a playmate for Zach, just to see.

Not as a confirmed, like, we are definitely going to get one. But just to see. We find, we go to the cat section. The cat section wasn't too bad. All the cats seem to be fine. Dog section, not so great. A lot of empty, just giant open cages with just depressing stuff in there. Really loud, giant dogs.

And I'm like, I can understand why these dogs might have been dropped off. And we can't handle them. Every, like, documentary or video depiction of it is just fucking, you're walking down death row. Like, you're straight out. Yeah, sort of. You're seeing good dogs doing hard time. So here's the thing, cat, to, hey, going there to see is the worst thing you could possibly do to yourself.

Because you're like, I'm going to walk out and we'll come back next week and half of these animals will be dead. That's, yeah. So we walk into the cat section. We find this one cat named Wilson. Just pure black cat and just rubbing himself over every single part of her hands. We just pet him a little bit. He was loving it.

He looked awesome. And we're like, okay, let's find out a little bit more about him. Because these things kind of match up with Zach. Like, he's a bit younger than Zach, not too young. All this stuff. We say, can we look up Wilson's file? I'm going to change the cat's name if I was going to pick him up. Wilson's a terrible name.

Why is he always going to be poking his head over a fucking fence? He beat me too. He included it in his sentence. I couldn't, I didn't have anything. I'll improve it. It's bullshit. It's not a fucking the Final Fantasy game. Delete that shit.

Yeah, exactly. And she goes, all right. Incredibly violent. Yeah. Hurts other cats. Wonderful. Was declawed specifically so he can stop slashing other cats' faces. And we go, okay, that's good.

No one cared who he was till he put on the mask. And we go, okay, that's good. And she keeps going and goes, brutal temper. And I'm just like, what? I don't know. That's good. And then we'll come back. She goes, we also have some other cats that are currently in foster homes that are like

sponsored by us. So you can contact them. We're like, okay. And she still goes back and she's like, uh, rage. I couldn't believe it. She's glowing yellow. Anyway, we didn't, we didn't, we didn't wind up anything, but we're still contacting some other people.

We can't find anything then not, but whenever, like whenever the fiance has come with us to the cons, we always fret over, is he bored at home? He's depressed. No, we get cat sitters, but we want to like. No, you get him one of those boxes that has the little button on it where you press it. It's got the, it's a hand that comes out and it's a little coin saver thing. Yeah. And then you like hours and hours of fun.

And you'll never know when it's gone. And really quickly, Roolie, do you remember The Counselor? The Counselor. Movie. Ridley Scott, Michael Fassbender, Javier Bardem, Brad Pitt, Charlize Theron. Penelope Cruz, The Counselor. That's an all-star cast right there. I do not.

So this is a movie Ridley Scott just directed and it got released and everyone said, this is a movie, it's terrible. And I was like, okay, let me see it because that is a crew that you don't fuck with. Right? Correct. And I remember in the trailers cheetahs were everywhere. Charlize Theron was making out with a cheetah at some point, I believe. Michael Fassbender was looking at a cheetah and Javier Bardem is riding a cheetah, apparently

at some point. I need to see this fucking cheetah men's sequel. So I watch this thing and fucking, it starts with Michael Fassbender having sex with Penelope Cruz and I'm like, okay, this is the apex predator race. And then they talk and have the worst dialogue ever. Then Michael Fassbender then talks to Javier Bardem and they talk about something and then another conversation happens and other characters talk and this is 20 minutes and I turned off the movie.

I never turn off the movie because I see things through and I just, I don't know what this movie is about. And I see that's written by Cormac McCarthy, author of The Road, author of I believe Old Country for No Men. That's right. No Country for No Men. No, no, no. You don't want to be corrected.

You don't correct yourself. I like people to not correct me so I seem stupider or I am. I watched this and it was incomprehensible. I literally watched the movie and didn't, I don't know what's happening in the movie. Yeah. I, terrible. I was just so disappointed. No cheetahs, 20 minutes in.

Sorry? No cheetahs. Yeah, no cheetahs roll over, but they're just standing there. They didn't know what was going on. Really terrible. Other two things quickly, people suggested watching a movie, a horror movie from England called The Canal, very similar to The Babadook, except swap out the mom, put in a dad. God, yep.

And scary monsters appear but not too often. Really good. The only problem is that the main guy made me think of Tommy, of Turkish and Tommy from Snatch. Oh, fuck that guy. I hate Tommy. No, you wasn't the same guy. I know.

But you reminded me of it. I hate Tommy. The main thing is, I played a game, I told Pat about this, played a game that all of you need to see. I'll say the title of it, it's called Maximum Chase, so the Xbox, and the cutscenes are filmed in something that I like to call hyper-reality, and it's like stuntman, in that there's a movie going on, and you, there's chases, that was a chase, but I don't think the characters in the game know they're in a movie.

I don't think they're aware. And when I say hyper-reality cutscenes, we're talking samurai cop levels of cutscenes. Oh, good. It is sick. I am really looking for it. This is one of those games, remember when we played a certain mystery box game that'll be revealed in the future, that has a certain star in it, you and me, remember we got to a point where we laughed uncontrollably.

When I played that game by myself, just see what it was, that's where I stopped, and said the rest, me and whoever will see it. This is one of those games. The preview playing was good. Yeah, Maximum Chase, I stopped, and I said I can't see anymore, and I asked James Small about it, have you played this Xbox game, and he goes no, and I went shit, and he went I know. Wow.

So I'm looking forward to that. All right. That was me. Pat? Oh, I didn't play very many games this week, I mostly watched, I went through the deeper hole of like Netflix kung fu movies, because I was having these evenings, or it's like, man, I just want to watch a kung fu movie, like really bad right now. We'll put it in you, huh?

Yeah, kind of, I guess. You didn't start until that, so yeah. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. Pat, remember we saw a kung fu movie at Fantasia, and we went with a mutual friend, he kept saying this is the real story of kung fu, this is how it was created. Yeah. It was called True Legend. That's right.

That Mortal Kombat shit had spells. Snake Man. That's Snake Man. And then he goes, he's all embarrassed, and we go, oh, so this, oh, I didn't know that kung fu had such a rich history, and he's like, yeah, shut up, though. Yeah, well, it's not like maybe you shouldn't have opened your door. True legend, that was cool. So I watched the following movies in the following order, which I then later discovered was in

reverse chronological order. Operation Condor. No, by the way, I did try and watch Operation Condor, I got about 25 minutes into it. That movie sucks. No, do you know why? Yeah. Because you're watching the sequel. No, I was watching Armor of God.

Okay, all right. You know the trick. I got confused just there. You know the trick. There's Indiana Jones shit at that beginning of Armor of God, which is probably the most racist thing I've ever seen on a fucking movie. It's unbelievable. It is a bunch of Chinese guys in fucking full black body being fucking Islanders doing

Indiana Jones shit. It's unbelievable. That movie is so boring. Okay. Armor of God is so fucking boring. But I watched in the following order Project A2, then Project A, then Wheels on Meals. Wheels on Meals. That's the one.

That's the one. Man, Project A2 is amazing. Project A2 is amazing. It's not in the same series, but another Jackie Chan movie is Gorgeous. It's called Gorgeous. It was released, I don't know, six, seven years ago. Yeah. And he has one of the sickest fights against a super young, super like American dude.

And remember, AVGN talked about like, this is one of the best fights Jackie Chan ever had. And Gorgeous? Do you ever see it? Do you ever see it available in Gorgeous? Do you ever see it available at your place? Does he have light blonde hair? I know it's brown.

He looks like, he looks like Lance Storm, if that means that he's not in Gorgeous. Is it Benny the Jet? No, it's not Benny the Jet. Okay, so basically A2 is a fucking Jackie Chan movie through and through where he's a sailor and he's gotta fucking stop a corrupt cop from faking crimes to be more corrupt and ends up getting caught up in the fucking boxer revolution and like there's fucking five. It's a really complicated movie, especially from what my friend and I seem to discover

is that a lot of these English dub Netflix Jackie Chan movies appear to have like half hour cut out of them to make it more about Jackie Chan or something. Because there's these jumps, these wild plot jumps that just, wait what? Did I miss like a whole scene? But A2 has, there are two things, like he's got a bunch of fight scenes, they're all fucking great and Jackie's really young in this, so awesome. Samo Hong is in like most of the movies that I've just mentioned also. And he's still old.

Yeah. He's fucking infinite. Yeah. And if he's directing a movie, he will make sure to make himself the butt of the joke in every scene. That's nice. Which I really appreciate. Except for SPL.

Yeah. It's his time. It's time for him to be awesome. One out of how many? But there is this incredibly long convoluted fight scene at the end of A2, which when I'm watching it, I'm like, oh my god, this is what AV Chan was talking about in that one video. And it is a very simple stunt in which Jackie runs off an awning onto a ladder and the ladder

goes up about 40 feet into the air and it's just him on top of the ladder trying to balance it as it slowly tips over. And it is the first Jackie Chan stunt I've ever seen where I audibly gasped and had the fucking piss shivers of like, oh fuck, it's like a fucking straight on full shot but no bullshit. And as you fuck it up, he's just dead, just dead. And then after that, the two women actors that are with him, one takes a stunt down on a basket that just drops straight 40 feet to the ground and then stops dead at the end.

And then the other girl takes three awning shots off the side of the building. It's amazing. It's fucking great. During the credits, do they show you the, yeah, okay, that's how you know. They show the one blooper from the ladder shot where he starts to go on it and gets about one feet into the tilt and immediately leans back to stop because he was going to die. Oh man.

That's great. And Project A2 has one of the goofiest Jackie Chan scenes in Project A2. And that's the sequel to Project A, which is about Jackie fighting pirates and shit. It's awesome. But A2 is considerably better. And there is a scene in the middle of the movie in which Jackie has been arrested because the corrupt cop framed him for a robbery. And he has tricked the cuffs off of himself and him and his buddy go to a woman's house

in order to find out what the plot is. But before they walked in the door, the secret agents grabbed the guy they are trying to find and have him at gunpoint in part of the apartment. So they go in and those two dudes are walking around trying to not get seen. And Jackie and them, they all have the talk. And then, oh no, the commissioner's here. Now they're trying not to get seen by the commissioner. And then the other set of bad guys show up and now the commissioner doesn't want to be

seen by them, but he accidentally handcuffs himself to a couch. How? Because he's an idiot. And now all four of these groups are in this one house hiding in closets or underneath beds and doing slapstick goofball shit where Jackie pulls the curtain in front of them, but that leaves the bad guy exposed. And then the bad guy pulls the curtain in front of him and it goes on for like 15 minutes and then ends with the slowest fight scene in the world as all of them start to realize

how many people are in the house and are trying to take each other out without alerting the other people in the house. It's amazing. It's fucking great. Okay. A2 is not nearly as good. It's not nearly as good in every way. It is not as big in scope.

The stunts aren't as good. Sam O'Hung doesn't play as... He's a thief guy, I guess. There's a good bit with some logs, but aside from that, it's a lower grade movie in every respect. It's almost like they make sequels, but it's like they didn't know they were going to make a sequel, so they just make it and no one is really into it. Every single thing about A2 is better than A1.

Every single goddamn thing. So the point where I say just skip A1, like the best thing in A1 is how they kill the villain because they killed a shit out of him. They do not kung fu the villain to death. They murder him hard. So they singomed it. Fuck it. I'm just going to say it.

I don't care. The movie came out like 86. Yeah, okay. So they're fighting the pirate king and Sam O'Hung, Jackie Chan, and the other guy cannot beat him because he's a god-like pirate king with the tattoos and the fucking shit. So they fight him and they roll him up in a carpet and throw a hand grenade into it. Whoa! That's 10!

That's 10! Like Sam O'Hung is wrestling with him and they roll both him and Sam O'Hung into the carpet and then Sam O'Hung throws the grenade out and they drag Sam O'Hung out and then throw the grenade back in. Where are they? What's happening? This is in Hong Kong. All of these are in Hong Kong.

No, no, where? Like what environment do they live in? This is the pirate king's pirate hideout. Is it ship or is it like a... No, it's a code. I was going to say on a ship, I can understand why you want to localize the explosion of a grenade, but... No, like we want no fragments to miss our target and it's just insane murder.

Big, goofy, bloodless explosion. It's like, ah, you guys. Yeah, and they're both super funny. Wheels on Meals, however, is like, okay, I knew about Wheels on Meals and it has the fucking famous fight scene at the end against Benny the Jet, who was a fucking... Was he K-1? He's the world champion of something. He was also in Street Fighter, the movie, and was the fight choreographer, Benny the

Jet was. Because Benny the Jet Urquidez? Anyway, he's fucking great. Anyway, he's fucking awesome in this movie. He never talks ever. He just comes in and has like the most amazing fight scenes and it's great, but the movie has so little action, it's unbelievable. It's again, it's Sam O'Hung, Jackie Chan, and some other guy.

And it's usually... That seems to be the group. Right? And the whole thing is this, it's the weirdest plot ever. It is Jackie Chan and his friend run a food truck in Spain. I thought, I assume that title was a made up dumb title that had nothing to do with it. No, it is a made up dumb title. No, I didn't think there was actually a food truck.

No, it's the food truck called Everybody's Kitchen, which is awesome, and they end up in a huge national plot because the prostitute that robbed them is actually a secret princess and the count is trying to get her and Sam O'Hung is the PI that's an idiot and is trying to save them. There are like four fights in the entire movie, in the entire fucking movie. And all of the first half of the movie's fights are garbage. They are super short, they are like sub two minutes, and they are nothing. And then Benny the Jet shows up halfway through the movie and they fight him for maybe thirty

seconds and go, wow, he's tough, super tough, and then they run from him for forty minutes. But then you get to the castle and they have a big fight in the castle and it's the greatest fight ever that Jackie's ever done against Benny. There's a shot in which Benny kicks the fucking candles out and it's real. Yeah, he kicks a mirror candles, just the fucking wind of his roof. Knocks them out and then they beat Benny and they fuck Benny's character up intensely because he gets knocked out a window and Jackie goes to pull him up and he speaks and he speaks in the blamest, weakest dub voice and it's the character is ruined and because it's him

falling out of the window and he goes, oh fuck you, just kill me, I don't care and he goes, oh no, pull me up, pull me up, and it's like no, no, no. And then they walk into a room and confront the villain and then the movie just like, and then they just teleport to like six months later and everything's fine and what happened? Meals on Wheels, you should watch clips of it at least because it's the only Jackie Chan movie dubbed in English I've ever seen in which Jackie Chan is not dubbing himself in English and it is so weird, it is so fucking weird. I know for a fact that like a lot of these Jackie Chan movies are just up on YouTube

and videos that are like, this movie all action scenes. Yeah, yeah. Well, guess what? That's a better way to watch Meals on Wheels because there's the one, there's the one good action scene near the end. As for games, I played one game, just one random thing, like if you're at all interested in something that's a bit less action but more just like triad fucking hijinks and bullshit and like, interesting stuff from like China, check out the movie Election.

I don't know, I want Jackie Chan, like that's what I, I like the action comedy. Because just some of what you were describing just kind of made me think of that movie for some reason. Not the Reese Witherspoon Election movie, by the way. And like one of the big things that I loved about all these movies, like the 10 that I've watched in the past month is something that AVGN and various other people have brought up all the time. It's like, Jackie is not the strongest guy in the movie.

No. He's never the strongest. He's pretty strong. Yeah. And then at the end, there's the guy who's way stronger than him. But Jackie's like a seven. And he either cheats or fights him with like three guys and then they bullshit their way out with a grenade.

Or you just fire them. Well, that's how you set up the perfect Final Five. I mean, dude, General Vega is fucking one of the greatest, man. You have to have him be the unbeatable dude that they like, no, we just bullshitted our way to winning. Yeah. And that's what I hope Age of Ultron ends up being. Yeah.

We didn't want to see that. Just cheat. Just cheat like crazy. You can't, you can't win. No. You actually can't win. That's not America. Oh, I guess.

I guess. As for games, I played, well, I played MK and I'm already starting to lose it on MK. Lose it? How? MK erection. Cause the instant we beat the story mode, the instant we beat the story mode, like some of it just leaked out of me because like now I know what happened in the story. And that's what, that was my most exciting thing about MKX.

Right. Oh, not playing it against people. No. No. I play Casuals every now and then with a friend of mine. But aside from that, like I have no interest in ever playing that game online ever. Ever. Okay.

But Jason's coming out. So that's probably going to be cool. Yeah. For a day. It's gotten a bit better. What could I say? Yeah. Like, you know, it's just, I want, I want to hear about the campaign.

I get more than do combos. Sure. Sure. No. I get what Pat's saying. Like if I'm going to play something on like even remotely competitively, it's not going to work. And I, and I, and what I'm like in any other fucking context, you'd be 100% on that.

But it's the fact that this is the one where like, but no, we actually made it good though. I know. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like, it's like you didn't have to, to be worth putting it to the test. And for me, it's like you didn't make it good enough. And then it's, and it's totally good enough. No, no.

I mean, good enough for me. Like for, I'll put time in a virtual fighter or, or three fighter at this point. I mean, but not, not much else. Hey, but I'm just like, it's all there. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know.

It's just, it's not, you've just got a compelling. The gameplay didn't hook me as much as unlocking those costumes did. I know, right? Well, you know. But I did play something else that it hasn't hooked me quite yet, but it's going to. See secret brutalities that aren't listed. Oh, it's Cassie Cage has one. Really?

You didn't say? That's cool. She just salutes your head off. She just does a military salute. If you finish with a two percent. And her head. And her salute. Yeah.

The fucking face just slaps your head off. That's sad. Ed Boon has figured out a way. Slaps shit. Good for him. Over in the, the Kotal camp with a K. Yeah. As you're calling it.

One of his is the sacrifice move. You can just kill yourself as a brutality. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. It's a brutality. It's a brutality killing yourself. Hey, I want to give shout outs and congratulations to the White Lotus for winning.

They beat the link. So here's the deal. Remember when I said, why would the link way ever lose? It's because of the P because of what I just talked about. I love the ninjas, but I also am not going to stay. But the people who picked like White Lotus dudes, they're probably going to stay around for a while. They put a concentrated effort in.

Yeah, probably. I was the one guy fighting on Friday, trying to shut up, trying to get the special forces up in their numbers. Special forces. I contributed my part. You're losing. Special forces will win eventually. Eventually.

Whatever the game. Everyone else wins. Yes, they will win. Really based on the fact that there's a trophy and a bunch of in game unlockables for for maxing out your levels for each. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eventually. Yeah, that's how you like that.

But you know, it wasn't their first pick. No, but they should be buffs for the factions that like are, you know, absolutely. Absolutely. Just to make it to even it out and that's a very weird non exact science that MMO companies have been trying to figure out for years and have all failed at all of them. Borla Warcraft has never been able to get an even split. Yeah, no. The only time they ever got close is when they added the elves to the horde.

You can see people were like, I want the elf. Punish you for being the ninja. Yeah, basically. But I did play one PC game that is technically in early access, but it feels pretty good. It's killing four or two. Oh, okay. Which is, has anyone but me played killing four or one? No.

Oh, I've played killing four or one. You have played killing four or one? Yeah. I'll give it rough. It's about Dosh. And loads of money. So I'll just give people who don't know a very quick breakdown of what these games are. Imagine Left 4 Dead, but it's one big level that you don't like leave.

It's an arena. It's an arena. It's horde mode of the game. I was going to say blood horde mode. It's horde mode of the game with leveling up and dry British wit because you need Dosh and loads of money. To do anything. To do anything.

Yeah. Is it made and bring? Probably. Probably. I don't actually tripwire. Yeah. Because it's all from this one weird fucking English music video where those lines are said. Yeah, no, exactly.

It's super weird. Killing four or one was, well he's just walking around Matt's house stealing cupcakes. I didn't take any, but they look really good. They're a piece of shit. Well, they're very not sugary. They're not sweet. They're okay. Were they made to be like low sugar?

No, they're made because, you know, I'd say beat my ass in. You don't know Jack, so I baked angrily. It was so weird. Oh, these are yours? Yeah. And you're not too sure? No, they're just not sweet. They're not very peanut buttery.

Can we have them? Yes, you can. Can we have them? Yes, you can. They're Reese's Puff. They're just not like super flavorful. Sick. Sorry, Pat.

So killing four is pretty good, I guess. No, killing four or one is amazing. It's great. It's way beyond its concept. That seems as sick enemy design. Yes, it does. And Liam is actually, I'm so glad that you're the one that played Killing Floor because I also played the Ouya exclusive top down four person co-op game.

Well, no, hold on. Which is also good. I'm going somewhere, yeah. But Killing Floor is actually weirdly amazing. Like way more than it should be when you listen to what it is. And probably one of the biggest reasons is that the gunplay feels great and the level design is great and the monster and the types fit with those levels perfectly. But randomly the time will just slow down and you go into bullet time, the whole server.

The whole server? Oh my God. The whole server will go into bullet time for 10 to 20 seconds and it's like, okay, you were in a pinch? No, now you're not. Just bam, bam, bam. Did you get that during a boss? Yeah.

Which is the only way I was saying Max Payne would work both ways. Absolutely. And it's totally random and it's fucking great. Where the fuck was that? No, okay. So Liam and I were talking last week after the podcast, we were getting on to the Metro. We were talking about Counter Strike and we were talking about Day of Defeat and how when those games got source versions, they sucked and were the worst.

Like, I'm fully of the belief that Counter Strike was ruined by CS Source and I know for a fact that Day of Defeat was ruined by Day of Defeat Source because it was these moments where the creators of the games went, well, that's what we could do with the mod, right? Well, now we're going to make the game how we wanted to make it. It's like, but that's not the game that I want. I want the bar to have- More importantly, that's not the game you've been playing.

Yeah. Yeah. Day of Defeat 1.3, the bar kicks up a very specific amount on the shots and I learned over time how to headshot people with that. Awesome. Oh, now you changed it because you fucking tweaked the recoil. So, fuck that, fuck that. So, I was really worried about killing 4 or 2 because killing 4 or 2 is the same game

with better graphics and more stuff. On a different engine. On a different engine. A much, much, much better, prettier engine. And I was really, really worried that like, oh, they're like, well, we're going to be able to do so much more with this game. Let's hope they don't lose sight of what makes it really interesting. And they're shot off all their big tech.

It's like, well, it has like, I'd say, I would say it's the spiritual successor to the Soldier of Fortune technology. Wow. In terms of like, yo, you shoot this part, there's like 18 different ways. It's the meat system. Yeah. And that looks fantastic, but I, you know, I bought it. I logged in, I picked my Commando class, which I hate, but the Shard Shooter class doesn't

exist in the game yet. So, what am I supposed to do? Yeah. And I started to play and right away I was like, this feels exactly the same, like the way that your default mouse acceleration, you hit Q and you zap yourself with your healing shit, the way that you go to the fucking store, you hit B and you throw out money all over the ground. And now your characters each have some dumb, specific to your character, British shit to

say. I'm like, oh, you need no Sikosh or whatever. It's even better. And it's just a better, tighter, more content-er version of Killing Floor 1. And that's what a sequel should be? Except for the one point where, since it's early access, there's only three maps and there's only four classes. Okay, fair.

But they picked the right classes. It's like the melee type, the fucking shotgun type, the assault rifle type, the medic. They're really gearing up for a big launch with this one too. They're launching on PS4 on the same day as well. Yeah, so that'll be a big difference. That was the thing that I noticed when I played and went to the controller, to the keybind settings, and there's a big fucking picture of a 360 controller. Like, oh.

Yeah. What? Yeah. This is one of the most PCS, PC games in forever. And there's full ass controller support. Now, a ton of PC games have the Microsoft controller in as the default controller. I know. It's just the first game.

But it's super weird. Like, what I- The first game was like, almost 10 years ago. But I was looking at those preview videos that came out, like, today of The Witcher 3 at that Polish event that they asked European YouTubers to go to, and like, four of those videos start with, I can't believe they made us use a controller on the PC build of Witcher 3. Right.

And I can understand why you would be upset by that, but I'm like jerking off because I have a fucking TV set up. Right. Like, I want to use a controller. So I did not try it yet, but I'm sure it works just fine. Killing Floor does not have that many buttons. Just sorry to interrupt, but speaking of controllers, Matt, that MK controller, did you get any time on it?

Yeah. I've heard not good things. This is the fight pad thing, right? Yeah. For like, you know, if you have like the X-Bone version of like, you know, Mortal Kombat, the D-pad is much better than the X-Bone D-pad. Like, it just feels better. But then clicky buttons are clicky.

The buttons, the face buttons are clicky. The shoulder buttons are fine. The start and select are put in a good place. The controller is a little light. It's not the worst controller ever. Is it mad? Excuse me, mad cats? No.

Okay. That's, yeah. That would explain it. Because why would you fuck with the formula? Remember when P&P ran an MK9 launch tournament and their sticks broke mid-tournament? Whoa! Yeah! Like, why would you like...

I don't remember that story actually. But here's a weird thing for me that has bounced around between the PS4 and Xbox One versions of Mortal Kombat, unlocking different things on each one. I have more costumes. Oh, man. And, and, uh, brutality. Why are you doing this to yourself? Yeah, seriously.

I don't, because it just wound up like that. It was like, whatever was curvy on... Will you pick one? Do you stick with it? No, it bounced around. I played the game. You are clearly super new to double dipping. Yes.

I think this is the first time. Well, you're gonna get good at it because you have a PC now. And you're gonna, when Steam Cell rolls around, you're gonna see games that you already own. You're like, well, yeah, but I could get it on the PC for $4. Unless it's a fucking Ubisoft game. Never! Yeah. Well, how did you learn, Pat?

Uh, I learned, uh, Far Cry 3 was okay. Did you? I did not have the, I did not have the, the game... Did it cost you money to learn your lesson? No, it didn't. Uh, I got lucky because I fought, because, you know, I followed that stuff relatively closely. I followed how AC2 had the fucked up Super Duck DRM. I followed how AC3 was a super fucked up shitty running port, along with revelations was okay.

But Unity was like, and the, the one that was from Dust that was like the super offensive one. Yeah. That was like, it's locked at 30 frames a second. Like, get the fuck off of my computer. You know, I was just thinking, like, I'm like, it's gonna be pretty. I can make it look prettier. No, you can't! Yeah.

That's the wonderful thing. There we go. A lot of people ask me on... You can't even make it run better. Well, I'm, like, I'm waiting for fucking, uh, um, uh, dude, data miners to, like, rip it open and pull out the Rocket Knight assets. Like, just based on, like, how the way this game was put together. Cause it might as well have been built on that engine. Yeah.

A lot of people ask me on Twitter and Tumblr, what stick should I get from Mortal Kombat X and they go, you don't. You don't. No, don't play with a stick. You don't need one. You don't need one. The way the block button works in this particular game makes it awkward on every stick level. But, but... Standard.

I mean, like, unlike, you know, maybe just throwing an MKX, the reason why you use six face buns for, like, uh, uh, Street Fighter Killers, is because pressing those six buns together gives you the different things. Whereas Mortal Kombat is like, no, you gotta use your shoulder buns to do all this shit, too. Well, I mean, you don't need it. Well, what it comes down to is it's more like an advanced strategy thing. And it's like, are you gonna get to the point where you plan to use planks in Street Fighter 4? Yeah. No?

But in this game, there's nothing really taxing on inputs. So far, yeah. That, like, I found that, like, it's like, oh, you need a stick for this. But if you are familiar with a stick, then you're gonna prefer it anyway. I disagree highly. Well, I tried for months to fucking get an MK9 stick layout that I didn't hate, and I was never able to. Yeah, I remember you saying that. Because it's four buttons plus block, and it's like, what, do I want block on my pinky?

No, I don't. Do I want it on my thumb, but then the rest of them are, like, I couldn't figure out a single way to make it work. Because, like, I, for a while, when Injustice came out, I was trying to figure out what to do. It was the block one, because you just hold back to it. Yeah, so that one was okay. But, like, with the Supers on still, like, extra triggers and the meter burn button and stuff, I was like, Dill for controller. What?

You know, those games are now controlled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I found a way to make it work, and now I'm more used to Injustice on a stick than I am on a pad. But with MK's case, no, I think you can comfortably use it. The best thing about that controller is that it's backwards compatible with 360 and Xbox 4. Oh, if I could just switch. Yeah, nice. Like, that's the PlayStation version?

I assume so. Yeah, I guess I would think so. This all assumes that you can deal with the D-pad that you have. Yeah. If your D-pad is at all a bother, then, like, that's another issue entirely. Yeah. Well, luckily, both D-pads are pretty good now. Yeah, they work.

They work. If you prefer playing Mortal Kombat with the left stick, you will not enjoy this pad. Yeah. Oh, god. That's why it fucked me up when you played the Crypt with that controller. Oh. Yeah. Because there's no, yeah.

Yeah. Because the Crypt is made for the stick. So it's just a few spun sticks. You can play MKX with a controller. But since it's on a grid, they knew. So you just press a face button that just turns it. Yeah. So it works fine.

The shoulder buttons turn you too. Yeah. Something like that. But when I was playing it, I was like, how am I supposed to unlock the thing in the Crypt? I can't even walk. The Crypt should be, no, Persona Q should be like the Crypt. Yeah. And the Crypt should be like Persona Q.

Yeah. Just carry one of all the Persona characters and replace them with Mortal Kombat characters. I would play that RPG in a set. My heart beat. My heart beat. That's super easy. But yeah, just a close out, man. Like, killing 4.2 as an early access game is super solid and runs really well.

Is there a new Eula change? Tons of fun. And I did see that new Eula change as of two days ago. Something like that. The Tripwire Interactive, the developers of Killing 4 have said, hey man, we love mods. Don't fucking charge for them. If you charge for them, you're out. This happened on the Cusp?

This happened two days ago. Immediately following. Immediately following what I imagine is our top story this week. It has to be. The only question is, how do you want to tackle this? Should we tackle it? How positively? Alright, you know what?

Let's tackle this in a chronologically. Chronologically is probably the best way. So Skyrim is now offering paid mods through the Steam Workshop. Valve has entered into a deal with Bethesda and the modding community at large saying, hey man, if you have mod on the Steam Workshop, we believe that you should be able to charge for your hard work. Okay. I'll play the part of Comic Book Girl Robot.

Got it. Wait, but couldn't you charge for mods before? No. No. You could not. That was that. Mods were in a very, very, yeah, LPs are in a weird gray area. Mods are in a really gray area.

And if you ran donations, someone was going to come to talk to you, eventually. So your options for getting money for your mod work was basically nil. Yeah. Because it was so sketched. Unless you're working on a game that's been abandoned. Totally abandoned. And possibly the company doesn't exist anymore. Now, and when you're describing that though, you're describing fan add-ons to these games.

Using the Workshop, using the Creation Kit that Skyrim has created. And there's mods that obviously don't use that, like SKCE and stuff like that. But yeah, you're usually using 99% of the case, the mod tools that the game came with. Because we're going to narrow this down to Skyrim period today. Because it's only on Skyrim and I know a decent amount about that. And Liam, you told me you modded some stuff for Oblivion. Oblivion, yeah. So the narrower we keep this conversation, the easier it's going to be to understand.

So basically Valsus, hey guys, you can get money off of your fishing mod. Or your horse armor. Like straight up, your horse armor. Or your horse genital high-res pack. Whatever the fuck you made. Whatever. What if it's just a stability fix to a game that needs it? You can also monetize that.

You can also monetize that. There you go. But we got to get there later. There's a lot here. So you can charge anything you want. So step one, there's your problem. So price, there's a pay what you want option that you can institute. Which some people have done so far.

But you can also charge $99 for pictures of horse tips. Which has been taken down as of the time of this recording. I'm surprising. I believe it was a joke. A joke personally to protest this. Sterling brought that up. The split that the modder gets is pretty egregious. But it is determined by the publisher.

So it is clear. The split is currently 75% not you. 25% for you. And that's not Val. Val picks the 25% for them. For the middle man fee. But then the 75% is decided by the publisher. In this case it's Desda who went 50.

So this is roughly the same split that you get on Team Fortress 2 or Dota. But Val owns those. And they own the platform. Yeah, okay, I can buy that. Bethesda is somewhat different. Bethesda has basically abandoned this game after the last patch. And never fixed scores and scores and scores of issues. Everything from the PC interface never being good ever.

Two bugs that remain unfixed. And if you go on the Nexus and look at the unofficial Skyrim patch. You will see an astoundingly long mod for each DLC of unfinished bugs. So wait, some of these mods then are not just cosmetic. They're actually fixing the game and making the experience a good one. So you have cosmetic mods, you have content mods, you have stability mods. I think that's a fair way to split all three. Now the argument that is being made.

And the one that I originally latched on to when people told me about it. Well, Falscar is rad. Falscar is a giant game that just happened to be made with Skyrim assets. That's rad. That'd be cool if people could make more stuff like that. And stuff like, God, what's another one? Like SkyUI is pretty good. That fixed the interface.

It'd be cool if that happened. You know, big, hugely ambitious mods. But because the split is so bad. You're not incentivized to make mods that take years to make. You're incentivized to make horse armor or weapon skins. You're not incentivized to make the kill moves mod. That shit took tons of work. Way more work that you could ever make back.

It's just such a mess. That's mess number one. And mess number two is that legally, this is the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Have you seen the Phantom? Yeah, so if your mod is free, because Bethesda technically owns your mod, anybody who makes a paid mod can just include your mod in their mod for money. And they don't have to give you money. And it's on you to figure out with Valve if you can get that.

The thing is that, and not only that, but a common thing in the modding scene is the most common thing in the modding scene. You look at stuff like gems or stuff like that, or God, wet and cold, it uses a temperature mod to determine whether or not how cold the character is. And you keep this stack it all together. Skyr is a good example. Skyr is a perk mod that completely changes the gameplay, right? That requires a reprocker, which is a mod that rejiggers all the fucking stats on all the items in the game.

And it requires the Uncapper, which removes the level cap off of skills. And if you don't have those, Skyr doesn't work. Period, it just breaks. Furthermore, some of those are incompatible with each other. Of course. That's why Skyr needs to build paths. That's why Boss was invented. Boss is a fucking program that sorts your mod order.

It sorts your mod order, and then you load it up and open your screen. In yellow, it's like unrecognized plugin. Is it okay? Yes. Red means these plugins, you cannot have these two. Period. Ever. And then there's the fucking shit where if you accidentally have the compatibility paths with a mod that you took out,

your shit will crash, and you don't know why. So, on top of the legal shit and the logistical shit, it's like how many people, how many mods does the average person run on their new Skyrim game? Like a hundred. Even if the mods only cost a dollar each. That could be a lot. That's more than the cost of the game, especially since it's not going to happen with Skyrim because the patches are over.

But, if this was in the game's early life, every single patch breaks every single mod. Every time. And we get Steam Auto updates. You're fucked. You're fucked. You're auto fucked. One of your options for recuperation of funds is to ask politely on the Steam Workshop page,

hey man, can you fix the mod? And this is where we enter the gruseness. And part two of that is you have a full day to get your refund on your mod. But dude, you're running a hundred mods and you load it into boss. Bugs aren't necessarily going to show on day one. They might only show eight days later when you find out, wait a second, I'm not leveling up. Oh, because this thing. So, now part of this moves forward and everyone reacts by finding appropriately going,

Valve, what the fuck are you doing? Right? This is a really bad idea. And basically, the biggest, I guess, damage control thing that came out of this was Gaban himself jumping up on Reddit. And saying nothing. Master of lip service. Saying nothing.

And taking an AMA type of thread. You seem all surprised. I read that whole damn thing and there's nothing in there to talk about. So, and the thing with it to me was the one thing it did sort of not betray, but it revealed was where their intent came from and why they thought it was a good idea. And that makes it sad because it's like, I think that modders who make absurdly awesome shit for these games should be able to make mods. Valve is the house that modding built.

Dota, Team Fortress, fucking Counter Strike, all of it. Right? All of it just came from- The Source Engine in general. And one of the hell half-life one ran on. And so his whole philosophy is the fact that they basically were able to make the house they're standing on by taking modders and giving them full-time jobs. Of course.

Right? So, he figured that this is a good idea because it would allow modders to start making an income directly, more quickly, and not have to have a side job and could perhaps focus on this as a full-time thing to get more robust modding. That exists in an ideal world that doesn't have the people that they just locked out of Steam last week with the $5 feed shit. Remember last week we talked about how you can't- If you don't use-

If you don't spend any money on Steam, you can't do this shit? That's a real admission that those people are a huge problem. And those people have also infested early access and green light. And now they're infesting this. In what world do you launch such a huge program without fucking testing it first? And no moderation. The fact that they would just approach talented mod makers who have a history of making really good stuff and saying, hey, we want to start staging this and testing it with you guys

and getting some of the bigger mods available publicly before moving to a pseudo-open workshop. So here's the best part, is that most of what you just said is what actually happened. But the test is opening up the entire workshop simultaneously. Yeah, and that's not an appropriate test, is what I'm concerned. And so a lot of people are directing questions going like, for example, one way that you could have mitigated much of this garbage is by just having a donate button, right? Like be applicable to everyone who lets people just donate what they want if they like a thing and not having it be like an actual lockout, right?

And Gabe replied, well, we're allowing people to have a, there's a pay what you want button, which lets you start it at wherever the modder wants it to be. It's there and you can start that at $0. But the difference between a pay what you want button and a donation button is that the pay what you want button is you click it and then you now have purchased it. It's a thing. You're going through it. And if you somehow decide, you know what?

I like this. I want to go back and get the money. You've already purchased it, right? You already purchased it at one penny. Yeah, you would have, like, maybe you'd theoretically be able to unsubscribe from that and then repurchase it with a different amount. But it's not the tip jar like that, you know, it should be in terms of just, oh, I like this here, throw it some cash. The whole project just doesn't seem well thought out from start to finish.

And there have been really bad repercussions, like on the Nexus sites, but does the game has a Nexus site? And Dark Souls has one, and Witcher has one. Yeah, absolutely. Nexus is amazing, by the way. Skyrim Nexus, if I'm not mistaken, over 2,000 mods got pulled because their creators are scared of people pirating their mods to sell on Steam. And some of those might never ever come back.

It gets so messy because, like, the fucking level of, like, of borrowing and, like, working together. Well, because it was all free, of course you could use everybody's stuff. Just ask, why would I not let you use my mod? And this led to, like, there's a discussion that happened a while ago that broke down modding into, like, two camps where you have the cathedral type of mod view and then you have the parlor view. And the cathedral view is we are all working together, putting our things together,

you contributed that stained glass window, you brought the pews in, you made the door. And that's it. Once you put it in, your contribution's in, and that's it. And then there's the parlor view, which is, these are mine and my thing, and I can shut this down anytime I want to. Yeah, sure. And in many cases, when you have cathedrals, you know, it's too late. So there's a, one of the things I'm looking to in the topic notes

is a really good post that was in that Reddit thread with Gabe Newell. That basically addresses point by point, like, some really good stuff. Forbes article in the show notes, because that thing is rock solid. Not that one. But, and, you know, he didn't, like, get a reply on this point. But, you know, the main... Well, no, it's too much. The lawyer has to look at that.

Yeah. Like, he was in a coffee shop for two hours. Right, yeah. But, like, point one was... Giving it to Bravitas, it required, I see. Yeah, exactly. Well, he, well, the way he explained it is, like, hey, I don't come in on a weekend. Like, I don't do work on weekends if it's just damage control.

This is something that I actually, like, you know, wanted to do, because I had the time to do it. Yeah. And, you know... But half answers in lip service doesn't help. Exactly. Like, which is what it was. Well, there were those...

I like service. Yeah, and some of them... I'm not going to get to use it again for like a year. You're totally right. Unless you're going to give me some lip service. Unless you're going to talk about Konami. Well, hey, why would we talk about Konami today? Anyway.

And someone had, like, a little thing that I was like, if you don't want to do damage control on Saturday, don't piss off the world. On Friday. On Thursday. Yeah. That's super good. So there's one... One, you're changing a system that works fine.

Right? There was nothing wrong with the way it works before. And people that pay for these things are going to feel entitled to something. Support that should come with a paid product, you know? And you're not necessarily going to get it. In many cases, mods are just picked up by people that abandoned a previous mod and just worked on and developed even further because the guy's like, I don't have any time anymore.

I'm now... I have a job. I have a job. It's my career. Just someone picked up the slack and took it forward. And like, now, what is that guy who now is the job going to be like, hey, wait, why am I not getting... That scenario, what you're describing is incredibly common.

There are so many mods that you look through the change log and it's like, well, I'm done with this. I'm passing it out to my cousin. I'm carrying the torch exactly. And like, there's the original... No, it's just mods. Like how many translation patches and things like that. All of that.

That group's just abandoned because we can't do it anymore. No, it was passing in the torch. It was like, does the guy that lit the original one be like, hey, no, don't touch my work? I don't want to get cut in that. It's going to decrease the amount of people that are willing to cooperate with each other on mods because... Why would you cooperate with someone that could steal your work?

That's it, you know? What is involved? It reduces the mods that are going to be based on copyrighted works, which is obviously not something that, you know, like, that's a gray area anyway. Where's my Goku? Where's my Buster Sword? Yeah, but now... Where's my Doom trailer?

Hey, here's the deal. Now the money gets involved. JP Doctor contacted us to make the fucking mod about us, right? Yeah. And then we put some of our voices in there. But like, it'd be like, if I was Batman, Batman's not going to give you fucking permission. Yeah, yeah. No, that's exactly it.

Call it Ben Affleck. And then, of course, there's the straight up 75% cut that gets pulled off. Throw that on Bethesda. It's the 50% for Bethesda that gets me more than anything else here. So that, you know, Steam, I think 20% would have been more appropriate. 30% is the industry standard. It's 3070 is like the industry standard for splits, right? Yeah.

So Valve to go below 30 is like, okay, I wish they would have went a little lower, but whatever. For Bethesda to take 50 of the remaining 75? Because it's so gross that Bethesda would take 50% of these mods, Liam. Because they don't do any of the work for it. Because they don't do any of the work and they're fixing problems that they never fix in the fucking games. Also, I'm like, I get that they own and they created Skyrim Bravo. But like, for fuck's sakes, this is your fans' part. Bethesda also has this game because they love it.

They're historically bad at fixing their own games. So I think that this whole fucking fiasco is summed up in three mods. Cold and Wet, the one that I mentioned earlier. It's a weather slash is what, water mod and stuff like that. Cold and Wet hit version two. If you don't have version two, it says on the fucking Steam page, please uninstall your old version and then buy it. Which is not making people very happy because that's weird.

Because this is the thing that I've had forever for free. And now you want you to back off. And you were being actively told, no, get rid of it and buy it from me. That's weird. And I don't even necessarily think that person is wrong. But it's fucking weird. Imagine one day, Winrar didn't give you the option. No, that's it, right?

Time to buy. Or a certain sort of Photoshop product. And I don't know which mods it is currently happening, but I know there's at least one that is giving people pop-ups to buy the real version of the mod. Oh yeah, there we go. I'm not sure which one it is, but I saw that mentioned a dozen times all over. So that's, if I have a mod list, like the last time I played Skyrim,

the mod, I wouldn't even know what fucking mod is trying to tell me it needs to be mod. So there's that. Then there's SkyUI. SkyUI is probably the best combination of these. It's a huge UI fix, right? It fixes Skyrim's interface for PC. It is a fix. It is a fantastic mod that stopped being developed on months and months ago

because they're like, oh, we're pretty much done. And we don't really feel the need to do the crafting and enchanting mod changes and stuff like that. SkyUI comes with the mod configuration manager. The mod configuration manager is important to hundreds of mods that use it. So a lot of mods that install SkyUI then use the mod manager to use all the options of the kill moves mod, for example, right? SkyUI, the old version has stayed free.

The new version is not. And the new version finally changes the shit that people have been asking of the SkyUI developer for years, the enchanting, the crafting stuff. And you know what? That part of it, fine. You didn't find it worth your time to come back and make these changes. And you left the old one free. And you came back because you could make money and it would be worth your time.

That tiny piece of this, I find, yeah, OK, as long as the price is reasonable. But the mod configuration manager thing, that's a problem. Like if they just decided, you know what? No. SkyUI's paid. The 100 mods that use the MCM? Yeah. Like the save manager mod and shit like that?

Yeah, yeah. Problem. And that brings me to the number one problem and it's Skyrim script extender. There's a New Vegas script extender. There's an oblivion script extender. There's a Fallout 3 script extender. Every single game Rio engine game has a script extender mod. The script extender mod is the first thing.

Except for Catherine. Except, no. It gets updated every single time there's a patch within a day. The guys who make these things are awesome. This thing is required for almost every single mod. Almost every single fucking one. Because everyone's scripts go way beyond the game's internal limit. If these guys said, hey, by the way, script extender costs $100,

the entire fucking house just crashes and burns. How high do you want to step? If Valve didn't even talk to them or didn't set up some things like, okay, we'll pay you to keep your whole script extender from you, to keep it free forever, it's so crazy. The whole business model, the whole community of Skyrim modding could fall apart based on the decision of one person. So the silver lining, if there is one,

is that what Gabe did say is that nothing's set in stone. This is all part of, to me talking right now, is part of the communication process. Nothing's set in stone, but we already kicked those out. But you rolled it out. But we can pick it up and try to put things in stone. Green lights not set in stone. Early access isn't set in stone.

And while I just talked about killing floor, which is good, those fucking things are generally a goddamn mess. Again, the Nexus lost so many mods that I think even if they retracted everything tomorrow, not all the mods would be restored. No, it's been kicked over. It's been kicked over. Absolutely.

And not to mention just faith. You know what I mean? So much of this. I think that we're going to see soft steps. I imagine we're going to see steps like getting the donation button in there, for example. Yeah, definitely. Because one of the examples I pointed out was like,

okay, you have the actual donation model where someone goes, oh, hey, this was fun. It's free, but I like this. I enjoyed it. I'm going to kick it some money. Or you have the other version where the person plays it and goes, hey, this is cool, but oh, it's free. Let me try to give him some money.

I guess I can unsubscribe and then do the whole thing again. It's not a realistic situation. It's not a realistic situation. Fuck it. I'm not going to. Or someone goes, yeah, okay, I'll unsubscribe. I'll do the whole thing again. Read by it.

I'll give him two bucks. A creator gets 50 cents. Yeah, exactly. You know, that's the one thing. It goes, wow. Of this problem could have been mitigated in a dramatic fashion if they had not chosen the single most modded game ever that is now like four years old.

If this had rolled out on a, if this system had rolled out on a brand new game that had no mods for it at all, then you would see how it would work and people would know and there wouldn't be mods to steal because people who are afraid of getting their mods stolen wouldn't have made them. And you would have seen, well, the mod community for this is pathetic.

Why? Because this shit doesn't work. And they could have tweaked it or they could have rolled it all back and then it would kick back up again and there would be a road bump. But to do this on Skyrim? Imagine it started with Guacamelee.

It was just like the woolly skin is now two bucks, yeah. And like the whole thing, not even all that terrible. What? You know, I'm just, you know. Like, I've been saying this to people asking, you know, like catastrophe does not begin to describe. The Forbes article has the byline, Steam's New Paid Workshop is an ethical,

financial, and legal disaster, which I think is a perfect way to describe this because no one knows how any of this works, including the people doing it. It's crazy. Speaking of ethical, financial, and legal disasters. I can't believe it fits all three.

I can't believe it. Maybe two. Have you guys seen the Konami 2015 corporate plan? Of course. Yeah. Could you read it out for us, Willie? Sure thing. Leaks from deep within a breath.

We've got to slide. Internal use only. 2015 strategy and planning. Konami. Fuck Dayoko Jima. Fuck Metal Gear. Fuck Silent Hill. Fuck it.

Lowercase F. Fuck you. There you go. The only correction that I want to put in here is, what do you mean Fuck Metal Gear? That's Konami's pillar. Fuck Metal Gear Solid. Fuck Metal Gear Solid.

Oh, did it say that? Okay. Solid. So, you guys all saw the screenshot of the Konami website I sent you earlier today, which undergames lists Metal Gear Solid, and that's it. Which shocks me because PES isn't going away.

I know. That's just weird. That's just weird. But to be fair, no one that doesn't love PES gives a shit about PES. Yeah, of course. Unfortunately. So, we've heard it from, you know,

Daryl's Mouthits himself. Well, first we heard it from Del Toro. Del Toro confirmed and... His greasy heart. Yeah. Okay, so well, let me just... Yeah, do the whole timeline. Del Toro answered a question at a film festival about PT.

Basically saying, well, it's not going to happen and that breaks my greasy heart. And then people were quick to clarify that he only meant about collaborating with PT. Not necessarily about Silent Hills. And then the news comes out that PT's going to be pulled from PSN on the 29th. Exactly.

So, that's April 29, 2015. Depending when you listen to this, you have 30 hours at the most to download that game because it will be gone forever. You don't even have to download it. Just purchase it. All you need is a Sony account. And the game's free.

Sign in on the computer. And click purchase or whatever. On your PC because you will never be able to get it again. Ever. Ever. So, everyone went over to Norman Reedus and tweeted to him, excuse me, hey, what's going on?

And he said, yeah, I can pretty much confirm that this is a real bummer. It's canceled. It's canceled. It's a slice icon. And then Konami themselves were asked and they're like, we're canceling this, but we are having open negotiations,

open talks about future Silent Hill games. Fuck off. You know, the ones that we farm out to farm great developers in Europe. It was the default line of like the brand's not dead. Of course it's not forever. Pat, I'm not archiving. No, stop, no.

When you say Konami were to me, I hate you. But you've crucified the savior. Sorry? Not you, but like, it's like, yeah, the brand's not dead, but the whole point was that this was going to come. I'm not arguing that. Not you, don't you. I'm saying, I'm saying.

Stop looking at him. I know. He takes it to person. You've summoned the Konami identity onto you with that line, so I was applying to you. Yeah, I know. But to Konami, you know, like, with the point. He fired the guy that seemed like he was going

to resurrect it for the better. You know. It's like, it's not dead. Dude, it was dead before. Yeah. You, what? What do you want me to do? Everybody, everybody go see Crimson Peak, all right?

Yeah, go see Crimson Peak. But, you know, downpour wasn't that long. It was like two years ago. That was way longer than two years ago. Well, whatever. It's not like. Maybe three years. It's not long enough.

It's not long enough. Dead Robbie, like super dead. Yeah. It's getting there. And now it's super dead. And the thing is too, is that this is not the first time Toro's been flubbed on games. Yeah.

This is not even his first horror game he's been flubbed on. Exactly. He's been trying to. Insane. He's trying to, he's been trying to make the quote-unquote citizen case. He wants it so bad. Of games for a while now.

And there's always just some bullshit. And this was the best bet, I think. Oh my God. Coming in on an established brand. I think came out. Of an established dude. Yeah. Like Matt said.

And something was made. Like. A name was attached to. He got a big star. It was going. And people fucking shit their pants. It was going places. This was a game that in the interview they said they wanted

it to make you shit your pants. That's correct. That was actually cool. So now it's a goal. Now I feel like Guillermo and his greasy heart are going to be like. They're going to be like scared of the water again. You know what I mean? They're going to be like.

I'm not sure. I don't think so. Let's face it. He can kick down any studio's door and be like yo. But the point is to do it right. What did Guillermo say? You know what? I've heard a lot of stuff about Majesco.

Let's try that. Oh yeah. Okay. We're on the street that Budcats picking up the horror. I get what we're saying. And that like going with Hideo Kojima who everyone thought was the most untouchable slam dunk choice ever. And then like oh.

It's fucking. Okay. Well I guess not. This industry is bullshit. He's got. Someone else has to corp him. And like start from scratch. Hopefully it's Kojima at Productions Kojima.

Yeah. I would be surprised. Making quiet Mountain 2. That's my general hope. That like once Kojima you know inevitably sets up his own. Kickstarter. Studio. Whatever it is.

Whatever arrangement. That he'll pick this back up again because it's like everyone can deny that like PT was like everyone went nuts for something that was something that we initially all shit on because we didn't know what it was. Well here's the question is can everybody meet in some back channel rooms and make a game that has nothing to do with Silent Hill. That's just a scary game. You know.

Horror games are really unique. It's really easy. I knew one can come out as long as it's scary people just find it. And hey here's the deal Silent Hill and Konami they don't own the trademarks on fucking mist. Yeah. Right. Or air raid sirens.

Don't use abortion baby. Don't use pyramid head. Okay that's pretty easy. I think we're going to be alright. You're going to have square head. Yeah. Like fucking box head. Triangle girl.

Yeah triangle girl. Oh my god that is a oh geez I just picked a geometric shape. No. I forgot that that was an evil with an evil with him. Box head guy. See how easy it is. Done. Yeah.

It's not going to happen. Nope. I hope if Kojima is going to start his own company he's like I want to make a game that I wasn't able to make before. It better be about robots before horror. And I say that as a huge crazy Silent Hill fan. Also the other. Robots and horror.

Do it. Tail end thing of this is that Konami also delisted themselves from the New York stock exchange because why don't we throw more shit. I looked into that. No that was a really. I looked into that. That was nothing. That is a trivial.

Well timed. Yeah. But what that is is that particular stock was their fucking weird pachinko shit or whatever. In the state. No one trades on in New York and they delisted it. It's like no one's trading on it here. So as well not paid.

We're wasting money. This was basically a non story. But because of all this. Yes. Absolutely. Some guy. Oh they're also closing. It happened within an hour.

We're talking about. And after doing like this podcast for a while I can tell you that like a lot of New York stock exchange delisting realisting things are not stories. Yeah. But they happen when something relevant is going. It was. Speaking of.

I'm surprised. Because I honestly thought Silent Hills was going to carry on despite Kojima. I didn't think. I was 50 50. I was I was subscribed to the now fantasy idea that Kojima and Del Toro would hang out and they would be like what do you think I should do with the game Kojima and he'd be like you should put a vampire in it.

And then a vampire would go in. Well like the worst but most practical scenario I was I could imagine they're going to make it anyway without either of those two. Well that's what's going to happen. I figured like they worked on enough art like at this point probably and like they were they went so far as to talk with Sony and say hey we want to be like in your press conference. Yeah.

Like and they had names signed on that when Kojima left I was like you know what they're a bit too far and I don't think they're they're not going to pull out that early. I mean Norman would probably walk Jif the other two walks you know. Well yeah but I mean I thought they would stay. I said that like this might have continued and Silent Hill this might be a thing if all the people involved weren't friends. Yeah.

Like Kojima got involved with Pacific Rim because he had one of his favorite artists ever make a poster for Pacific Rim. Yeah. They talked to Del Toro. Del Toro was like hey am I going to make a horror game because you know whatever and then they're okay we really like you. Hey I know Norman Reedus who was in Blade 2 which I directed. And he's hot right now.

And he's super hot. Okay. But if this was like you are Kojima I want to make a horror game with you. You sure sign on the dot line. We'll have a conference call every six months. Yeah I know. Then I could see Konami going in but oh you're associated with Kojima your friends with him well we hate his guts.

But I don't think that is extreme. You think they tried to spread his name. No but I don't think anyone sitting at Konami says I hate his guts. Are you sure? There's one person. Konami's a weird fantasy. I would imagine that the people on the board of directors the top top top people are sick of his shit and probably hate his guts.

The idea of being able to attribute that level of anger of emotion to something we have no literally no objective idea. That's kind of a guess. Alright so then let's put it this way. In a business sense they hate his guts. Like we are never going to work with you again. I'm not doubting that they got rid of him and they don't want to work with him or whatever but is it hate you know what I mean?

Scrubbing the name implies at least a cursory level of malice. Sure. We don't even want you to have credit in the past. Like if that's the only piece of information one way or the other then it's tipping on to the scale of like bad luck at which point this is not total fantasy. And it's also a little bit of fantasy. But there's also the part where like the way they had the immediate like news break and stuff is how it always happens whenever someone big leaves a thing as you make the statement

saying oh there still may be going to be no dude I get how it feels and I hate the series decisions too. I love Konami just as much as all of us ever did. I know. I don't anymore. Come on. As us ever did. Just said.

I love them as much as we all ever did. At the good parts. I hate it as well but like you know it's like these are shitty corporate decisions not hatred. Oh no. Here's the thing Liam. The specific words we're describing aren't being said but the emotion behind them is the same. It's just in creepy fake business talk.

Yeah. Well if we can sum up the video games industry into high school drama situation talk I think everybody wins. I don't know. Video games are strange. And the pre-morphizing companies is dangerous. No I don't think it is. Konami is clear.

Konami slammed Dao against his locker. Konami is the vortex club. Now they are. They don't want anyone. They're exclusive. You're not. So I'm seeing a statement that honestly I don't understand what people are thinking when they say it.

That's the phrase. Well fuck Konami. I'm going to boycott them after Metal Gear Solid 5. And I understand the desire to boycott. I don't think it works very well in the game industry because items are too far apart. And I don't even doubt the morality of you saying like oh after MGS5 because I get it. Like you want it. You want it really bad.

I don't blame you. I'm going to buy it. Plus it's the last product that this guy that you liked made before he got fired. But there's two problems with that. One is if you're going to boycott them, don't set it on a fucking path later. Boycott them now when the thing is happening. No but that's inconvenient though. Yes.

And I don't even blame people because I'm saying like yeah. But two, what are you going to boycott after MGS5? Well it's that. You might naturally have a boycott. I remember years ago when I was like I fucking hate the way that EA is treated Dead Space or fucking whatever. I was like I'm going to boycott EA. And then I didn't buy a fucking EA game for two years because there was nothing that they

made that I wanted. But no, I just think that like I don't know, companies anything can happen at any point in the future and like. Clearly. You know what I mean? Like they can just be like suddenly oh Konami snaps up platinum and they're working off. You don't know. You don't know what the fuck's going to happen.

Time to fucking shoot yourself in the mouth. But it's stupid because that's why it's stupid to say shit like that. You know what I mean? That's just the dumb thing to say. But yeah, clearly after this game comes out, what the fuck else is there anyway? There's currently nothing listed in active development. Future Metal Gears without Kojima. Maybe never did two?

Oh I'm so excited for those. Never did two, Nano Breaker 3 maybe? I don't know. Cyborg Juice. Speaking of Cyborg Juice. Nice contract as an MCO. And I know we all skimmed over it and I'm not certain on the details but I have been told by many people that the Love Plus people got fucked also.

No, I told you that. Yeah, we talked about it. It was one of the red flags. Two weeks before Kojima left, they left and they said we weren't able to do what we wanted to work on. Yeah. Which sucks for them. So, waiting on the Pez team, they didn't let us make soccer the way we wanted to make

soccer. Could you imagine? They wanted us to change the rules of soccer. Have more health clubs in the minigames. Man, it's really upsetting that after last gen was a huge shit show for Namco, Capcom, Square Enix and Konami. To see Namco... Japan.

Sorry? Japan. Well those are the four big ones. That's why I'm listening. To see Namco get it and immediately revert back to localizing Japanese games instead of making shit like Inversion. To see Capcom and Square Enix finally start turning back to what they're trying. Turning it at least as far as we can see.

And then to see... Hey Konami, what are you guys doing? Oh, we're busy ruining Castlevania. Yeah, to see Konami just drifting the other way and just ditching games for the most part is upsetting. So speaking of cyberjuice, how about that Cod Blops 3, Mankind Divided. Oh, fuck that! Fuck that!

Let's talk about the fucking Eidoskies. Well that's where I'm going. God bless JJP. Yeah. You fucking... Oh, it's the most... It's the most Montreal shit in the world. Because I don't know about you, William, but when I read that I saw him sitting at his

desk just going like tap, tap, tap, enter and like nodding his head, yeah. Spraying himself with a bunch of cologne that's his own farts. So... That's good. So Cod Blops 3. That was like yellow. Cod Blops 3 trailer comes out and hey look. That game looks good.

Everyone is got the cyborg arms. Everyone was Dancer. Everyone is Adam Dancer. I am going to cut this shit off at the fucking pass, okay? Deus Ex Human Revolution did not invent cyberpunk. It did not invent augmentations in this particular style and it did not invent this type of story. But the Cod Blops trailer steals every visual aspect and key. The only thing that the Human Revolution action invention was the meme...

Yeah. I never asked for it. That's the only thing it invented. The documentary that was made to go along with it, you know, even that styling of approaching future tattoo worlds. You could change the title card and it would be dead fast. It's so exact. It's so on the nose.

But you have to wonder if like straight up Treyarch is just like eh, how minor is that in comparison? Because it's Deus Ex. It's not fucking... It didn't sell little copies even. It's not this judge thing that was on the radar. It's AAA, but it's like compared to Call of Duty, how many people are going to fucking catch it?

Straight up, it's different audiences. Deus Ex is super cool. Obviously Deus Ex sells a lot to everyone. Deus Ex is a smart, cool people. Yeah. I mean, obviously it's going to sell a lot, period, just because it has big advertisement and everyone's going to buy it, but at the end of the day it's not the same people generally buying Call of Duty.

So Call of Duty tweets out new Black Ops 3 trailer with a link to it and then a text thing going, how far will you go? Yeah. Deus Ex official Twitter replies, at Call of Duty, picture of Yellow Cat staring at one of Deus Ex monitors and then staring at the viewer just like, what? And then JJB, the writer for Deus Ex, Human Revolution. He's not the writer. He's the art director.

Art director. Mary Jamal. Mary Jamal. Mary Jamal. She's the writer. Excuse me. She's the art director. Tweets.

I want to get the exact wording right. That's so good. JJB. JJB. I hate him. Because he was the guy that was like yellow everywhere. Oh yeah, the piss filter. He's really nice though.

I bet he is, but I just disagree with him on this particular aspect. Yeah. I hate his decision, not the cop. Fair. And he tweets, hey Treyarch, welcome to the bandwagon, the bars in the back. Yeah. You know what, to be fair, I think this was kind of stupid, like everything. Oh yeah.

Because Black Ops 2 had future shit. Not nearly the same way. But it wasn't so awkward. But it did. But what I mean is that Black Ops 2 had future shit, then Ghost had some future shit, then Advanced Warfare, they've been going down this path for a long time. Yeah, it just happens that this one hits it in a clever specific way. In its marketing.

Yeah. You know? The other thing is that like it's been three years since Human Revolution, four almost. Up until then it's been complete silence. A CG trailer came out two weeks ago. I don't think anyone really looked at anything. No, I don't think anyone's making those accusations in terms of like... No, I don't think he is.

No, that's production wise, that doesn't make sense. No, he's just like, haha, we beat you. But it's funny. And it's funny and like coincidental and hilarious that it comes out right on the heels of the Mankind Divided. My favorite one of those is like, hey guys, just kidding, Mankind Divided actually takes place in World War II. Yeah!

That's taking the piss on us. We went back to the drawing board. Yeah. We didn't get that. I wish we had much more of this like developers talking shit to each other. Sometimes it doesn't turn out well sometimes. It turns out great for the consumer. It turns out great for the consumer.

The actual Black Ops 3 trailer, the gameplay one was like... Looks fine. We thought Advanced Warfare had lots of crazy stuff but this is just all like actual robots and cyborgs. Do you still have the jump? There are no humans elements. Straight up T100s attacking you. Yeah, it looks really cool.

Do you have the jump? For sure. Sorry? Do you have the jump? No idea. Well, that's the only thing that matters. Like you can't go back to the Call of Duty without the super jumps. Did you watch it?

You have crazy... There's a scene where you're flowing through VR really high and I can't tell if it was a jet jump and looks pretty attached. I like having customizable characters now. Yeah, sure. Change your augment stuff. Absolutely. A few more cultures even.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, exactly. They finally figured out to call the character by their last name and then everything, every problem is gone. Yeah. Shepard. There you go. Bam, nailed it.

Also hats off to fucking ditching last-gen consoles. Yeah, finally. It took a long time. I don't know if you look. There's a European retail. I can't remember the one where their pre-orders for Black Ops 3 on 360 and PS3 are way ahead of the other consoles. Uh-oh.

What? So... Could you imagine... Could you imagine when leaks happened? Uh-oh. Could you imagine next year when they switch back over and they just come out with last-gen months? Yeah, they're like, fuck this.

We're not, baby. We're not, Treyarch. Fuck that. Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. That would be better. Roganame. 360 and PS3.

Roganame. No, we use... No, we you. That's fine. No, of course not. All right. So, I pretty much... Like, we all know where this is going to go.

All right, let's go there. Have you guys seen the first image of the Joker? Oh, yeah. That's played by Jared Leto. 10 out of 10 game of the year edition. There you go. That's the good one. No, the best I think, Satch said, I'm on CNN.

And apparently, I think they used an image on CNN for the story. But people making fun of the Joker that they used Satch's drawing. Or his Photoshop of like, it just says, cash money millionaires. And you put a million lens flares in Joker's mouth. I think that's what he was referring to. There's a great one of just some stupid dorky punk band. And like, the dudes in the exact same pose. And they're like, Joker and his thugs ready to take over Gotham City.

So, this shit store needs one tiny piece of context. Well, let me just explain what the story is to begin with. Yeah, sure. The first image of the Joker from Suicide Squad was released. And it shows Jared Leto as the Joker. Now, here's the thing. Jared Leto is a phenomenal actor. He's really good.

And I have faith in his ability to perform this role. I don't know about you, but some of us have heard of a little movie called Girl, Interrupted. And that should have convinced any of us now. So, the first image of Jared Leto is showing him like, as the Joker. And he's got all these tattoos that are like, the ha ha ha decals. Yeah. And the face and stuff. And here's the thing.

He's not your typical Joker. Right, and here's the thing. Like, I remember when people first saw Heath Ledger and like, had a negative response. Same thing. Negative response to Heath Ledger and his image. And then he fucking sold it. Yeah. In this case, I will say that this is not based on nothing because the All Star Batman

and Robin comics that Frank Miller did, which were fucking terrible. Had great. Is that the one where I'm the goddamn Batman? That's correct. Yeah, thank you. So, they had a tattoo Joker. Yeah. Like, Yakuza style.

Dragons and shit. Yakuza style tattoos on his back. So, it's not based on nothing. It's not based on nothing. However, I will say, as someone that I actually like when, I like this sort of punk look in general, this looks like someone that is a fad boy of the Joker. Or like, someone that's obsessed with the Joker. Yeah.

As opposed to him himself. A male Harley Quinn. You know? Like, a number one lieutenant that's gonna be like on the streets doing shit as opposed to being him himself. The performance could be fucking amazing. Who knows. Like you said, everyone kind of shit on when Heath Ledger was casted and when the first

images everyone was like, no, this isn't my, uh, uh, Caesar Romero. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, totally. You know, so. I actually think it's all right. I think it's a bad way to go about advertising a new character. Here's a picture on Twitter. Here's him doing a home alone thing.

It's all based on things that have come before, but it's just a very hot topic look that like a lot of people understandably don't like. Like I said. I remember Suicide Squad Joker and this whole Suicide Squad like idea is a very different sort of thing because people are thinking of classic movie, TV Joker and it's a different group. And they do have the giant fucking wall to climb that is like somehow performing after the Heath Ledger Joker.

And Jack Nicholson also. Of course. Which was the prior wall. Of course. The reason, uh, the piece of context that I wanted to add before this seems very important now that Matt says this is just really shitty way to reveal the new Joker of a white background promo shot. And that's because this isn't actually the reveal of this Joker.

The reveal of this Joker happened when some fan actually took a fucking photo over Jared Lido's shoulder when Jared Lido was at a cafe showing someone new Joker on his phone. And there was an incredibly shitty animated, stabilized gif of the new Joker in what appeared to be a nurses outfit that looked like total trash. And that was like three days before this photo. So this was coming out ahead. So there's no way this was actually the way they intended to show this character off. What they probably intended was that he would be the stinger on the reveal trailer of Suicide

Squad. And then that would give you the cell because you'd hear the voice, you'd see the acting, etc. So this is a, like, this is a, this is the attempted damage control and it's just more damage. It clips the turd with this slightly less pungent turd. Way too early. Way too early.

The Batman vs. Superman, Dawn of Blobbyman, it was, the trailer was supposed to be... You got through all the words except for the last one. No, because I always, I always forget what the rest of it is. Anyway, that trailer, that trailer was supposed to be on Monday. We saw it Saturday night because the trailer leaked in bad cam footage and that's when they go, oh shit, release it anyway because we're missing those views on our official thing. That's usually what happens.

Yeah, and you know, like either way in this case, like I want to see what they're going to do with Harley now, you know, and like, is this going to, is that Tony? You're going to splooge and get a receipt. Like, no, because I hate the Arkham Harley. He hates every Harley. Except the classic Harley. I hate Arkham Harley. Really?

The blonde... Wait, you're telling me that this, the Harley in this Joker style wouldn't make you go all super booboo? Well, it depends on the piercings and the tats and all that. No, I don't know. It depends. But I'm saying, what I'm saying is... You blonde pigtail Harley, I fucking love that shit.

Now Arkham City Harley, Arkham City Harley specifically is good. Nurse Harley and Arkham Asylum is terrible and the Harley that's in the advertisements for being playable in Arkham Knight also don't look great. Arkham City Harley is hard. Vampire of the Masquerade Harley, you will call her, you know, I don't like, no. You're actually pretty accurate. But yeah, so this reveals there and like I said, any other character just as a piece of art, just as a design, I like that look.

I like those colors. I like the aesthetic. But it totally looks like a fad boy. I think you totally had the nail on the head with that. Like I couldn't quite grasp it. But yeah, you're right. It looks like a Batman beyond character that is part of the Juggers. Juggers free.

Like the part of the crew. Yeah. One of the imposters. I don't like this design for Joker at all. Like again, you know, when we finally see footage of it, that'll be the selling moment. But like this picture that got released, I've not even thought about it. Well, the cringe fucking moment is the word damaged. Put like, cause he's all messed up inside and it's like, people know.

Yeah. And it's like, are you rebelling against Gotham or your mom? That's like, that's like. Have you seen that video, that little cartoon video of Joker in the tattoo parlor asking for his tattoos? No. I just suggest you look it up because it is hilarious. Okay.

That's like taking Zack Snyder's way of put the music with the lyrics to tell people how they feel. But now it's like, no, write what they feel on their head so you'll always understand their frame of mind. What's Joker's motivation that's always damaged? Oh yeah. Yeah, that chapter is bullsecked. Right there.

I think every like movie and video thing I see coming out of DC, that makes me less excited. Are you guys always on point? He's got a kickflip on camera with headphones blasting fucking three doors down. Like DC always destroys everyone with their animated stuff. Super good stuff. Always super good. I think the flash is rad in the animated series.

Let's be real. They got Bruce T. Yeah. Yeah. But so they do it. Yeah. But then you look at their movies. The movie and TV stuff is like.

Because they banked on, they put Snyder in the position that Marvel put Whedon in. Yeah. Yeah. Or Snyder's. And that's the thing. Snyder's just de-hounding. Did you guys see Sucker Punch? Yes.

But did you see it though? But then I saw Watchmen and I think Watchmen works for the most part. Watchmen's a better movie than Sucker Punch by far. That's not... But it's still got problems. But problems I think anyone would have had if anyone had directed it. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. I think... There's a lot of arguments. You just want dumb space whale alien monster. There's a lot of arguments that they can't do that to Hollywood. And I say, fuck that. I say you can absolutely have that. You could have teased it.

And more importantly, the fact that it's out of nowhere is what made that moment so strong. Yeah, but there's still lots of lead up in the comic that they could never have justified. Hey, here's a bunch of random artists on a beach and I just see the movie makers going, who's going to put that in there? That's stupid. The audience will be confused. Well, you know what? The whole point is that the audience is confused.

No, I'm going to walk out of the movie. And good. They're idiots. Even with that removed. Rather have no audience. Even with no audience. Even with the main watchmen like fucking climax removed, you could have done the other most important thing, which is linger on the massacre and make that as uncomfortable as possible.

It's the cleanest. It's not like the movie was nonviolent before that part. So just put in violence there. Why not? Because those 12 pages of just wreck anyway. That's another discussion. But yeah, that's that. Yo, motherfucking Gengar, though.

Gengar. Gengar. I'm a fighter. Confirmed. I'm a fighter. Yeah. I'm sold, man. I love Gengar.

I am totally blown away by the strength of the reaction to this. I am so, like, surprised. I saw, like, somebody on Twitter say, yo, you see Gengar's in the thing? And I didn't even reply because I didn't care. I did not know that Gengar had millions of fans. Gengar, do you not like Gengar? I don't dislike Gengar. Gengar's awesome.

He's a ghost fighter. I think Haunter's way cooler. No. Gengar, Gengar, it's funnier, funnier to say. And he's cooler looking, and he's got cool moves, and he's a tough guy. Yeah, I'm not going to get the poll. He literally doesn't skirt of nothing. I don't know.

And his whole story is that he, like, ghost types suck shit. I'm not going to get it. Not when they're fucking with Cubone. Yeah. Anyway, fine. Gengar looks cool. I feel nothing for ghost types. What about Haun Edge?

Haun Edge is a sword. He's a possessed sword. Yeah, he's a ghost steel. He's dumb. It's great. He's cheating. No, you know what Pokemon from the classic era I'll fucking lose my goddamn mind over is Alakazam, which has to be in this game.

No, you got it. Would it just be Ermac moves? Sure. Fuck it. I guess. No, I think. See, now you're feeling the same thing that I'm feeling. No, my thing is, like, well, I think Liam and I both are on the same page where it's

like, this should have just been fighter types. It should have just been fighter types. That's all I wanted. That would have been suicide. It would have been. But that's what I want. Well, that's why you don't have to. He'd rather have suicide.

Yeah, it would have been brand suicide, but it would have been the right one. What an amazing. To be honest, I don't even think it would have been brand suicide. Lucario would have still been front center on the back. No Pikachu. Up there next to Blaziken and Glades. Just the Vicharral people. No Pikachu would have.

Well, you have that many Pokemon, like there's no way. Maybe if they had only the original lineup, they could have gone away with it. And there'd be a lot of angry, irrational people just saying, no, why did you put this in my name? The main Pokemon fans. That's correct. But, like, Machamp and Lucario, Blaziken on the fucking cover of the box. But it's not enough.

You didn't give my specific Pokemon airtime. Fuck it. I would lose my shit if they showed up. I'd rather have nothing. And Jinx is there. And Jinx has no moves. Jinx just sits there and her move is you have to confront it. It's purple Jinx though, right?

Of course it's purple Jinx. So, funny enough, right after we finished talking about how awesome a wrestling slash Telltale game would be, we're getting a Telltale Marvel crossover in two years' time. Yeah, not for a while. Kind of surprising. I'm really ambivalent towards this. I would have probably been much more excited two years ago. But now that I'm like, we've all seen the cracks.

I'm weirded out that there's no announcement of this beyond the word Marvel. Like, what characters? That's the thing. It's going to be weird because it's going to imply that, like, this is going to be, like, the writing and dialogue and character building is going to be the main thing here, not the action. That's fine. Like, there's, what character is, would you hand that off to?

What MCU material? I'm also wondering, is this going to be MCU? Like, legit. It has to be. But, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but they haven't talked about, like, their games crossing over with MCU or anything. They certainly haven't, but I feel like getting Telltale on board is like that level. So I'm kind of fascinated by that.

It could be street level. It could be Daredevil. You know what would make me excited? Like, actually, hey, that's best for Telltale because we can just reuse assets from Wolf Among Us. You know what would make me really excited if it was Episode 1 as Daredevil, Episode 2 as Punisher, Episode 3 as Iron Fist, Episode 4 as Luke Cage, Episode 5 as Jessica Jones. And they all, they're all in the same story.

And the last episode has them all in there. And they're all in the same location. That's a good idea. You just happen to play from each character's perspective. But those characters are already getting covered and stuff now. Yeah, I don't know if that's the right way to go about it. You're right. I think you need to go lower in the tiers.

No, I think that they could go actually bigger, but just cover material that's going to be going to cover. I mean, any sort of summer events or like... Seeker Wars is happening. Civil War type of thing, you know what I mean? Like, that type of thing could be covered in a Telltale arc where you get tons of characters showing up in cameos. Give Tony Stark a drink or not.

Don't give him the drink. Tony will not remember that. But then Tony's angry you didn't give him the drink when he told you that he would want to drink. Now backhand is fiance. I know very little of that whole ultimate story. You're trying and that's what counts. You're trying really hard.

There was a weird dumb alternate Hulk in that page that I saw. I was just thinking of myself the other day, like how many years until Marvel brings out the ultimate MCU? How many years until they get to the point where the slate needs... Well, that's what we're already doing right now. The process of creating Phase 2 and Phase 3 in the way they're doing it is to clean up all the non-Marvel Studios characters and films. Let's see which Spider-Man we get and see how accurate your statement is.

If it's a 16-year-old black kid, then whoop, we're in the ultimate's universe. My thoughts wasn't making Fantastic Four. I bet you they would have started working on some shit. Sorry to be clear, I mean rather how long until we get Ultimate Thor? Until they have to reboot again. And the answer is honestly probably like a long time from now. A female Thor. What's that weird alien horse face guy's name?

Peter Abel. Jack. He should be the new fucking Thor. That's right. Sarah Jessica Parker. That was the right answer. We're now using Meow Meow. Oh my god, I watched Thor 2 and I forgot to talk about it because I don't know what happened

in that movie. It's true. And Meow Meow went really, really far across space and time. I have never watched a movie and been so unclear as to what happened after having just watched it. And Natalie Portman moved out of the way. Cat Dennings is on the screen. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Now all you need to know is Loki's here. Everyone look at Loki. And look at Loki. And watch Meow Meow come from fucking cross dimension for the ultimate assist. Wow. Do you not need to watch that movie in preparation for Avengers 2?

Nope. That's what I did and I was wrong. Okay. So we got to run through a quick couple of announcements because there was actually a bunch of stuff that got popped this week. But there was so much dirt. Holy shit. So much dirt in the last like two days.

Oh yeah. Patrice Desilet announces, Ancestor is the human kind Odyssey. Yep. It sounds a lot like Assassin's Creed. Yeah. I don't agree. I don't think so. I hope it's Tronade.

Because it's about the most important discoveries and creations in human history. But Assassin's Creed doesn't do that. But the entire idea of picking, going into the old past. Sure. That's what we mean. That's like saying the crudes that shitty Disney movie is like Assassin's Creed because it goes into the past. Well, yeah.

No. In fact, it's the guy that creates the last one. No, I know. No, come on man. No, but you're going into like prehistoric times and making the fucking arrow here. I'm not discounting or saying this. I agree with you. Come on.

I actually do agree with you. Really? You don't see the similarity? I think the similarity is vague. I think that. The back in time? Yeah. The back in time sure.

If you're going far enough back that you're not scaling buildings, then yeah. No, that's the... No, man. But in the star dot star that is creation. Atreus Desolate likes history. Yes. And that's about all we're saying. That's really it.

We're not saying he's going to be climbing on walls or nothing. But he picked the same space to work in Assassin's Creed. No, it's not the same space at all. It's like a million years prior to Assassin's Creed. No, that's not... Come on, man. Dude, but the gameplay design is going to be different. We're just talking about the thematic pick of going back in time here.

Time travel is pretty... But that's a pretty big... But he created Assassin's Creed. Those are just like future shooters. The thematic shift of going back in time to an old civilization and the thematic shift of going back to pre-civilization is wildly different. You don't have dialogue. You can't have dialogue, for example.

Like, it's going to be vastly different. What you just said, where it's Patrice, really likes history. He does, yeah. I think that statement, the connection and the vagary thereof is about as much as I'm trying to say here with the connection between Assassin's Creed and this. Okay, because your opening line is a lot stronger than that. Also, the name, Ancestors. Remember, remember, remember.

I'm agreeing with Liam here. Let's all take that into consideration. Sure. I know. It's almost as if Assassin's Creed wasn't about going back into your ancestors' memories and seeing things that they did. Like, I don't see how that's... But in Assassin's Creed, why do you go back into your ancestors' memories?

To do modern-day shit. Yeah, no, exactly. And in this game, you go and look back at humanity's history to see the most important and basically different... Shockingly different. That's a detail that's... No, they're very different. That's a detail that's super specific that has nothing to do with what I was trying to say.

I'm just saying, you go back in time to look at your ancestors, end of sentence. Done. They're similar. Say that in the first place. I wasn't confused by what you said. I don't think that was confusing at all, but it's fine. Anyway. We've explained it.

We're going to move forward. It would be nice if we got more than a title. Yeah. High five over nothing. Over high five. Over miscommunication. Okay, Matt. I don't know.

We didn't listen. Right? I don't know if you know this, but high fives over nothing are the best. You're not wrong. Yeah, I bought ice cream for myself. I'm going to high five the mirror. There you go. It would have been nice if there was more information than a title.

I totally agree. That little teaser is not enough to satisfy. No, and most of the article that talked about the announcement of this was him sort of talking about the shitty history he had coming off of everything. There's so much history I would like to see him delve into in a game. Yeah. I have some weird game dev story version. We're going into the ancestry in here.

We're in a boardroom meeting. Everyone's just taking turns to shit on your face. And then they sold you to a new place, and now they shit on your face. And then the old place bought the new place, and now they're all shitting on your face. They're both taking turns shitting in tandem. Now you can't work without having your shit faced on for over a year. I try. I'm sorry.

New Tekken character. Futuristic big daddy. It's Marduk in a suit. It's Marduk in a suit. That's hanging off. I don't want to be so dismissive and derivative here, but it's Marduk in a suit. Let's be real. The move list he displayed.

It's unbelievable. I thought it was really dull. Gigas. He's got a fucking tube that goes from his mouth to his dick. What's up with that? It's like dick myth. That's right. I mean, in the future.

Is this the furthest they've gone in terms of like sci-fi? Yes. Because... There's Yosemite Jack. There's the Jack P. Jack. The training guy. What's his name again? Roku Jin and the combo.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don't know. This looks like an enemy in a Resident Evil game no one played. That's right. I think the furthest future character is, what's her face? You can take her head off. That's kind of it. That's kind of it.

Yeah. Lisa. I guess, for me, the design isn't really that much of a problem. I just, when I saw the move list, I'm like, oh, it's Marduk. I was like, oh, they should have more fun with this. Just put Marduk. Just want to put Marduk. What can I say?

Marduk's lane. The mount is cool. The mount is tight. There needs to be a UFC guy in that lane. Yeah, I just always thought Marduk was lame. And I hated the fact that they knew he was lame, so they had to have him kill Armor King to have him get over. And then Armor King came back in one game.

I was like, well, OK, Marduk's no longer over. That was a dream match, but no. No, it's your turn, sister. No dream matches in Tekken. All of them are dream matches. That's right. Final Fantasy Parodies Street Fighter and fighting games in this weird thing. That's really unclear.

So I'm watching this. And I'm looking at it. Five minutes. I'm going, is this real? No. And I knew it wasn't. But I'm like, did someone just finish up the April Fool's joke really late? Seems like it.

It's just a fun thing that team made, they said, yeah. I just don't understand why it exists. There was a big like Chogaki festival this weekend, and there was a shit shown off for a bunch of games. And this was just one of the things that the 14 teams said, hey, we're welcome. OK, so once again, if you're going to make an April Fool's joke, don't make it something. That I want because I want this. Do you want Final Fantasy IV the after years coming to Steam?

Get out. Shut up. OK. No. No one does. People thought they wanted it, and then it came out. And like, it was like, ah. No.

Yeah. Hey, Remake HD broke a million. Awesome. It broke a shit ton of records right when it came out. Yeah, it was the top selling PSN digital game ever. And now it's finally broken a million, and it deserves it because it's amazing. Totally deserved. Make RE2 make.

Can't wait for the real shooter. Because even if you sell a million copies, they'll still not give you much more. Fucking Capcom's going to do RE0 next, and RE0's going to tank because that game sucks shit compared to Remake, and there's no fucking winning. It's unbelievable with Capcom. Every way that they schedule every release always fucks you. Dude, they're going to do two. This is the time for two.

No, it's not. What are they going to do? Zero's already done. No one who made that game works there. Dude, I think two is... Zero's already done. They're going to do that first. You also thought they wouldn't cancel Silent Hells.

Yeah, but I also thought Yakuza 5 would come over. That's true too. And that's the PS7 doing that. That's the working on that. That's the fantasy one. The ultimate fantasy one of Yakuza 5 where I didn't even think it was going to happen. Even I knew it was a bad financial decision, but I thought it was going to happen. I thought Sony to make the bad financial decisions and make them.

Speaking of bad financial decisions, you know, that's a segue we can use every week. Every time. Every time. It's the ultimate segue. There's at least two a week. So that rumored Tony Hawk 5 thing is confirmed now. I can't believe they're calling it Tony Hawk 5. That's why this is on the doffin.

Not because it was confirmed by Tony Hawk and not because some random caterer at a dinner tweeted a picture that accidentally revealed the fact that it was coming back, but they're calling it 5. You know, like we had better see it and go, oh god damn, that's Pro Skater 5. Pro Skater 5. It's not thug. It's not a thaw. They had a game that already used the number convention by calling it Tony Hawk Project 8. That's true.

Like for fuck's sake. We have to look at this and immediately see, oh that's 5. Because Project 8, all of them did weird shit, but like, I don't know if they can do it. It's about time for them to pull a Mortal Kombat, right? You've strayed and now bring it back. That's sad. I just want to do it and just be called Tony Hawk. I have a piece of information about Mortal Kombat that I stole from last week's giant bomb cast.

You know how Ed Boon has gone, hey man, it's not Mortal Kombat 10, it's MKX. Guess what the fucking taskbar reads when the PC version crashes? Mortal Kombat 10. That's right. Take that, Boon. You liar. Nice. Why do you have to lie about everything?

It's why we love it. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. I'm just happy we're getting a new skateboarding game. Like, Oli Oli was great, but like I didn't really see it. Hold that enthusiasm until we see it. Because that happiness could have also been given to Tony Hawk Ride.

But, you know, in the wake of the last two of them being Ride and Shred or whatever it was called. So don't forget the HD remake, which was awful. As long as I get to use a controller to play a skateboard, I'll be happy. The HD remake was awful. As long as I get to use a controller to play a skateboard, I'll be happy. Were you happy with it? Were you happy with the HD remake? I didn't play it.

It was awful. But in a land where Skate is dead. I wanted Tony Hawk as the base and Oli Oli is the only thing. I want to hear that Mr. Hawk himself went personally to every previous Neversoft employees door and invited them courteously. To the Hawk House. To the, exactly. And they were like, who's this old guy at my door? Why is Rick Flair here?

Doing the 900. Doing the 900. This is a little one, but it's like, hey, yo, you know that giant cool badass Metal Gear thing? Metal Gear X figure? That's a bonus right now. Yeah, they're making a half size one. For non ass crazies. Yay.

That's kind of neat. Yay. For you people that don't like Metal Gear as much. Exactly, exactly. For people with half the love. You know dude, like people with half the love, you get half the scale. God, I wrote that scripted line for you onto the document. There you go.

And Billy Corgan wants to use wrestling stories to tackle complex issues. Who? The main singer of Smashing Pumpkins now works for TNA. Oh TNA, I'm sure this will go great. You know what? A creative producer of everything. I look forward to, I'm so confused by this. I look forward to years of amazing botomanias from Matthew.

I was gonna say, imagine Jonathan Davis head writer for Raw. Like, I'd watch that if there's been Ministry of Darkness or something like that. I want to tackle the strict issues of human trafficking inside this human trafficking match. See how many wrestlers you can stuff into your bag. Let's have the paper of you called the Race War. What did he describe Matt? Because he was talking some shit about what he wanted to, what he thought wrestling was a good platform for addressing. It's not.

What? It's not. It's not a good platform for addressing shit. But what? I'm asking you. Big Boss Man ate his dog. Social and cultural issues. Oh wow.

It sounds like they're gonna tackle that one. Things dealing with race and gender. Oh wow. I also feel like there's not enough people talking about birthing hands. Wait, they're gonna do gender issues when they have diva match it? No, they're not divas. Liam, get it right. They're TNA knockouts.

You're gonna have gender issues addressed when your company names a reference to tits and ass. Come on. Thank you. With your wrestling program Mr. Corgan, you've taught my children to stop wishing for a world I can't possibly provide. Well, I try to make a difference. And I also like my line, the spider of his rage by Corgan stuck in the steel cage. So here's how you do it. Here's how you do this.

I have the solution. You create a new character. I don't think this is a good solution. You have a character that fictionally runs TNA. Yeah. And you call him Jim the Man. Okay. Or Vince the Man.

And he's in charge. And Vince the Man continually underbooks black wrestlers and forces the fucking knockouts to do these goddamn humiliating matches. Yeah. And everyone hates him. And then he buys the company and sells it and kills Sting or whatever. Just make it a huge WWE parody right up until the point that Vince actually buys it and then shuts it all down. But he wouldn't. Because the whole point of TNA was that it was the last remaining refuge.

Away from Vince. But TNA is way, way worse. Oh, way so much worse. That'd be a fine platform which to stand on if your platform wasn't a pile of shit. And you're constantly slipping off it. I think this suck my dick match is a good commentary on sexual harassment in the workplace. Like fuck, guys. There you go.

All right. This is a story where I saw it and I said I saw this coming. I gotta segue when I vote because we're talking about TNA. So we might as well get into the fact that even Itagaki thinks that DOA 5's costume DLC is too much. That dude got fired for being a creepy weirdo. And listen to him. And he's going, yo guys calm it down. He wants Dead or Alive.

He thinks that if Dead or Alive continues on the path that it's on, it won't be remembered for its gameplay and integrity. And that the fans that expect integrity and gameplay. Okay, so while he is right, the fact that he's coming from a place that he didn't realize that that was already happening back when he made the games makes this statement hilarious. You know I saw a picture of him the other day and I got scared because he was in a bowl. I saw a picture of him. His skin is so bad. Dude, that's what the jokes are for. I know, but like, I forget every time.

I softballed it for you. I was like why? Because he was in your bowl and you were eating breakfast and it was your oatmeal. You're not bringing a bell? No, I know. Wait, when it was announced that Nintendo published it. We always joke about it, but his skin is terrible. When it was announced that Nintendo was publishing Devil's Third, I was like what?

Not Quaker Oats? I remember, yeah. God. I remember back before he outed himself as a piece of shit. These jokes were only private, but now that he is a piece of shit, it's all on blast. DLA1 is the worst one of all. 99 age. The breath physics there are the ones that were like actual Warner Brothers, Looney Tunes shit.

I think the places coming from those, because it was ridiculous. It's the best playing DLA ever. Over the years, less and less people have played them and when it comes to five, it's not just the boot physics. It's like what is it? The sweat stuff. $400 in DLC that you can purchase. The total 18 year old fighters. He says that there's still some decent developers at Team Ninja, so do support them, but I've given them my prescription for DLA.

So let's just wait and see what's in Devil's Third, shall we, before we can take this quote seriously? Well, I mean that's a fighting game versus an ambitious online multiplayer shooter. Yeah, but let's just see what kind of gross stuff is in Devil's Third before we take this quote too seriously. To be fair, of everything I've seen in Devil's Third, I don't remember seeing anything. No, there's the girls. There's a bunch of girls. I didn't even see them. You didn't watch the footage.

I watched that Treehouse long extended plane thing. What else can we make jiggle? Where else can we put it? I bet you his prescription for DLA 5 is like get rid of these disgustingly sexist virtual fighter characters. These are gross. These are real women. And they lower the tone. I'm a fighter.

What the fuck is that? Oh, I'm a cookie. Yes. Dude, that needs to be put on a stop right now. Okay, okay, okay. No, the new Tekken 7 character needs to be Oatmeal. Oatmeal, man. It's true.

It's sunglasses. Oatmeal, get ready for the next battle battle. And it harasses all the other characters. Well, did you happen to see Nintendo's Wigger Wednesday? Oh man, that was the best! No, Liam, I didn't. On Twitter, Nintendo posts a picture of Waluigi and a Wiggler from Mario. And they say, if you like Waluigi, tweet Waluigi Wednesday.

If you like Wiggler, tweet Wigger Wednesday. And also the shock from the cropped Twitter photo appears to be like Waluigi giving it to the Wiggler up the ass on top of that. Either way, it's a great tweet. Tweet Wigger Wednesday, if you like Nintendo. And they tried to take it down, but they were too slow. It took them a whole four minutes to get rid of it. Too late. That's too late in Twitter time.

I saw that. Somehow PlatinumBurg made some money off of that. I saw a quote from somebody the other day about something totally different, and it was just, Twitter exists to get people fired. And there's some truth to that. Alright, so let's take some questions. Hey, where would you send these questions, Matt? To superbestfriendcastatgmail.com.

That's correct. That's correct. That is superbestfriendcastatgmail.com. So, we're going to take one from Corridan. Corridan? Corridan. Corridan. Hey guys, why do you hate items in Smash, but love Test Your Luck and MKX so hard?

They're essentially the same thing. That's a good point. But I think the reason why is because the default MKX is still a fighting game. That's correct. This is adding fun onto it. For funsies. And the default Smash is items, and then we remove them. For funsies.

For funsies. Yeah. So, if the order was in verse there, it would have been the same thing. That's how I feel about it. We would have been doing Smash Brothers matches, and then switching over to items for bonkers, wacky fun times. I love items in Smash. Just if I'm going to have anything remotely serious, or play with any sort of skill, I'm going to want to play without it. Yep, same thing with MK.

But I will play items matches in Smash all day. I don't hate them. That said, I hate the items in Smash 4, because there are multiple that are way overpowered, like the Gus Bell. Gus Bell? I was about to say, the Galaga thing. The items in Smash 4, I don't like them as much. But in Brawl, any day. In melee, any day.

So, that's it. It's just the default state, the default state versus the fun state, you know? We love Omega Mode, because it's just wacky shit on top of something that was already stable. Omega Mode in Street Fighter 4. That's what I'm talking about. Not Omega Mode in Smash Bros. Oh, jeez, that terminology doesn't work. You're right.

What new game will have Omega Mode next? That's it. That's all. We like them. We got one coming in from our buddy Levi. Is that the Levi? The one that can just talk to us on Facebook? That's correct.

Our buddy Levi. Why does he send an email in? Just ask him. Now you're embarrassing him. Just skip the process. This is plain favorites. You guys talked about, at length a few times in videos, when you talked about how everyone in MKX got their moment, and how the Revenants had lost all moral restraints, but seemed to

be worse. This got me curious. Like, what is your favorite version of removing the Limiters? Well, it's Vanquish, again. No, I think he's talking about moral Limiters. Yeah, no, because that's just like power Limiters type of thing. I don't know. I think MKX is one of the best versions ever, because all the characters that went evil

had really good reasonings. They just fell 1% on the dick side. Now, I think all of the reasons are we hate you, Raiden, but they still have, that's still the case. They have good reasons to hate on Raiden. He fucked it up. Well, they're not varied or anything. It's not individual to each guy.

But they're all sarcastic with him, being like, I don't have any more predictions. More visions, Raiden. He's got visions. And he exactly gives us, like, when Broly gets the mind control thing, boom, boom, and that's on everybody. New Year's got that. I recently watched the Violet Broly movie. New Year has some bits like that near the end.

It's a fucking special game. Yeah. Yeah, nothing comes to mind right now, but MK is a pretty solid one, right? I'll go with that, too. So, we got one from Baby Leg Zohoolyam. Baby Leg Zohoolyam. And Hortense, the mule-faced girl. Wow, that's so good.

Elaborate. So, Dear Brocast, tonight I speak on behalf of my little sister who has stated they're watching your LPs with me, who started watching your LPs with me, but hasn't started listening to the podcast. I know she's the worst, a Frankenstein's monster of butts. That's a good way to describe your sister. But she does have a question, and she'd like your brilliance of which to shine on the answer, I suppose.

Do you feel that there's a correlation between younger siblings who watch their older, more superior kin, play video games, and those who enjoy watching LPs? This is fucking interesting to me, because I was one of those kids. I don't really... Do you feel there's a correlation between younger siblings who watch their older siblings play video games and people who like watching LPs? And the reasons why. So here's the thing.

That's a really interesting question. I used to fucking hate watching my brother play video games. You probably played games on your own. I don't imagine your sister was playing anything that you were watching. No, we would on certain games, like Donkey Kong Country and some things. We'd played together, but she would never... Like, a couple of games she'd try herself, but most of you would either play together or play by herself, or she would watch.

She would never play a game where I would just be not doing anything. Okay. Liam, you probably took the lead role there. Yeah, I had four younger siblings, and so I was always playing games. That's a fascinating question. I was the young one always watching my brother and cousins play, and it had been a while before I got my hand on the controller for myself. Like, a lot of my earlyness experience...

That last year, I think. ...was straight up just watching my siblings play through things like Dragon Warrior and shit like that. That's a tough one. Yeah, but I was invested. I was invested, you know? It was like we quote unquote played it, but I was doing that early on. And now, personally, I don't watch Let's Watches. No, I do Let's Plays.

One of them watches Let's Plays all the fucking time. The other one watches a few Let's Plays, to be fair. It's only stuff with me and them, but that's really sweet of her, I know. No. The other one just fucking watches Achievement Hunter and Captain Sparkles. Why don't you watch my shit? I know. Because you socked, Liam.

I'm not going to fight that. I'm not going to fight you on that. You're family, but I'm not slubbing. Throw your laptop out the window. No. Yeah. Dude, that's a really interesting question. It's interesting, but I don't think there is a correlation because...

Well, I don't know. For me, there is. Because my older brother used to totally monopolize it. Like, he used to like, I'm playing it. Like, can I play? No. Yeah. I would have to watch when I knew I could play and I knew how to play the game. I'd have to wait for him to leave.

Yeah. And then... I fucking... I don't watch LPs. I watch the educational ones like Jurassic Park, Trespasser. Yeah. But like, I cannot... When I watch an LP and Woolly and Matt in particular will have felt this.

If we're playing a game, there are moments where it's going to come up or I'm like, just give me the controller. Just give me the controller now. I can do this. Give me. No. For me, I think it turned me off of watching other people play because I want to play it. Me.

And then we would play versus games and he'd fucking lie. He's like, here's how you do a fucking fireball with Sagat. And he'd tell me a goddamn tiger knee motion with punch. Yeah. Like, no, no, that was... It's a fucking... Sure you can with Sagat. Do a tiger knee with punch.

Like, are you stupid or are you lying? It's probably both. And then I remember like four Christmases ago. One Street Fighter 4 was that. I'm like, hey man, let's play some Street Fighter 4. And they gave him a fucking old 360 pad and brought out my stick. Yeah. I just stomped him all Christmas morning.

He's like, yeah, it was fun. I'm like, yeah, what? I was like, the brother doesn't care. He's like, yeah. He's texting fucking whatever. Yeah, I did it. My childhood is value. Yeah.

I never... And then dad walks away patting him on the back congratulating him on his achievements. Good job, son. You've overrided every Street Fighter 4. Like, if you know what I'll say, I'll say this, maybe there's a correlation if she never transitions into playing things for herself. Yeah. But personally, when I did start playing them on my own

and realize how much way more fun that was, I never... Don't say that. I'm not going to look this way. Don't let them fight you. Why would you look back? So here's the question. It's harder to do in a modern game,

but it used to happen all the time with like Duck Hunt and fucking Super Mario Bros. and shit. When you were really young, your older sibling would give you a second controller. Yeah. Even though it was only a single-player game. Right, right. And it just fucking lied. Oh yeah.

That's a really bad example for that. The second controller controls the duck. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, I told you so. But no, you just don't even plug it in. Yeah, absolutely. Just a fucking lie.

Yeah. And eventually you hit the point where like, wait a second, you're fucking liar. Okay, so not too long ago, Liam got called out on some shit. Now someone wants to call him Matt. Oh, wow. So I was sure that was going to be me.

What was the shit? I was like, I don't get it. It was you talking about... Oh, Metroidvania. Metroidvania. Sure. I was happy to see some discussion on that on the internet after the fact. That wasn't the internet.

On the internet. Yeah, well I don't check discussion in like books. No, I just mean how that would make sense. And yeah, I saw some people in both camps. So I was glad to see that I wasn't like alone in that opinion. Totally on this. As long as you're not the only one in the world. Yeah, I'm really glad someone brought that up.

So Matt, hopefully it's something as... As pointy as that. So... Coronite says, what is actually up Matt? I got to call you out on your shit for a second. Don't worry, it's in good spirits. I just want to know what's up. Because you always talk about not having time to play a game

or complain about when a game is really long. But then you'll immediately talk about watching like seven movies in a row. Exaggeration. If you really wanted to play the games then there's plenty of time to do so. So what the hell? Why do you act like you have no time when you clearly do? I will honestly mirror this exact question. I kind of agree.

Well, that's... I mean, the first thing about that is that like... What game should I play? There's this one I didn't finish. There's this one. There's this one. There's this one. There's this one.

I've wasted an hour already. Because games I think is much more of an investment. And I can't... Like the other day, I was telling Pat and Liam, I put in like six games the other day just to see what they were. Because I had such a backlog of stuff that I buy. Like physically at least I have the most games. You can't nibble on it like a half an hour episode or something.

You can't nibble on a half an hour episode, even an hour and a half. And like I said, a game in my start of the week, I said, I popped it in, I saw some shit. Then I took it out because I'm like, no, I've got to save this. But for like, a game absolutely needs to 100% grab me, where I'm like, okay, I'm going to play this. Like anything in my top ten, for example. That's kind of what I think a lot of us based it on.

This is a game I finished. I finished it. And if I finished it, that means I liked it enough to finish it. The finishing rate of this group of people has steadily declined as we get older. Liam probably finishes the most games. For completely understandable reasons. Like, let's be real. Like Matt, remember last week when I said I was going to play GTA V

and you said you're going to stop? I haven't touched it. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it's just so much easier to pop in, like not even pop in a movie, go into Netflix and just see them all there. I'm press A and where it's like a game. It's on my PS2 this game. Hook up the PS2, put the game in.

Oh wait, this is a Japanese one. Got to do this, got to do that. And it comes with such a time investment just thinking about, and then that's how we, yeah, we whittle down our top 10s usually. Because we finished them. But when I find a game I really like and I finish it, I like it more than any movie I saw in the last couple of months or whatever. You're still working your way through Bloodborne, right?

I was telling you, I can't. I almost can't now because if it's like, let's say 11 a.m. and I'm like, I don't really have anything to edit right now and I look at my PS4 and it's like got the orange light and it's like, I can be on at any minute. Just press me and I'm like, I'm going to waste so much time playing it during the entire day. Waste your time. I know.

Because what ends up, because it is true that like, and I do explain this to my girlfriend as well, it's like three movies. I can edit and watch a movie. Three movies. Okay. Because I was going to say like three movies go by and that's like five hours. Like that's a solid session of Bloodborne I'd say as well.

But you don't plan for that long. It just kind of goes, all right. The best games ever to me are the games that I start to play and then go, I'm hungry. What the fuck? It's tomorrow. But also like, because you live with your fiance, it's something she enjoys to do as well.

If you lived with anyone, if you lived with a roommate you're real friends with, and let's say they're not... What? Not going out just to miss a fan wave from the back. Sure. Well, I mean, what do you... If she really loves you, that is just saying. What you do live with someone that has to be compromises,

I can't sit down there and be five hours bumping a log, do nothing all day and play a game. It's kind of selfish of me actually. So I gotta pick on you. You gotta let yourself be selfish, bro. I gotta pick and choose when I can. And usually if I have a huge block of time, it can probably be better spent editing.

I like when I got my Steam client open and it's like, Pat is playing something. It's like, no, he's not. Wait half an hour. Pat is playing Pillars of Eternity. Yeah, he is. That's about right. You're not playing that.

No, you're not. I'd say 70% of the problem is our current job. When I was testing games, I was hungry to go home and finish games I love. Yeah. Because that's all I had. I have something for you, Matt. Not even just games.

You love just games. And it's a piece of advice that... Because I had this problem, as soon as I started this job, it started affecting me really badly. I was finishing nothing. Right? And it's like, because you want...

We have access. Like, okay, I want to play this. No, I don't want to play this. It's like, you have to basically say, this is a game that I'm going to ignore these five games. Yeah. Right? So, Witcher 3 is coming out.

If I'm not done whatever I'm playing, by the time that game comes out, I'm sorry game I'm playing, because Witcher 3 is coming out. And here are times you have a pleasant surprise. Like, now all that... That's actually a pretty chronicle time, but I booked this fucking free.

So now you can just pick anything off the wall. It's slighted, right? Yeah. And sometimes I'm like, okay, we're going to help keep Bloodborne. So now I don't have to worry about Bloodborne getting knocked by something. Yeah.

Even though Bloodborne would be the one game that would knock everything else off the fucking list. I'm not 100% sure if we didn't LP Resident Evil Revelations. If we had finished it. As good as it was. I could see myself going, well, I'll come back to this. Maybe never have gone back, even though I was liking it.

But the number one thing you got to do is you got to realize that your backlog can never be finished. And just give up on the attempt. Remember the site Backloggery? That's just a site to make you feel good about yourself. I don't. About two years ago I spent the time

and I put it all in. And then I looked at it and said, why did I do this? This is the most pointless thing ever. I'm going to make no pro... Ever. Ever. Ever.

Ever. I'm acquiring games faster than I can beat them. Yeah, exactly. I got in early on Backloggery. They actually won the first couple of months and got up there. And I was like, this is the best. This is awesome.

This is totally gonna... Oh my God, this is the worst. This is the absolute worst. Because now being completionist about the list, I'm adding on shit that I wasn't thinking of for a while. Do you remember your head? This year, like every year,

I'm trying to push myself again to beat 52 games, which I... Oh, you and Shmupgod Pat are trying to go out there. Shmupgod Pat goes for 100. Oh, wow! He's up to 100 now? He goes for 100 every year. I usually succeed at 52 pretty much every year,

except for like two years ago, I got like 49 or something. What a disappointing son. I know. But this year, I said, okay, I'm gonna finish 52 and I'm gonna count how many I'd buy. And I'm already past buying 52 this year.

And I finished like 27, like I'm ahead. And this comes from a point of view of like, there was a point in our lives, I think all of us, I can't speak for all of you particularly, but I'm just gonna say, and I'm really just talking about myself,

but you feel free to join in. In which you got a computer and it had a CD burner. And then you had all the fucking free time in the world. All the fucking free time in the world. And the release dates could not keep up with you. The schools are still there. The industry could not keep up with your rabid abuse. And you would get a new console,

like I got a PC in 96 and blew through four years of shit immediately. You bam! And you tried to keep that going as you got a job or went to university or are getting married. And it's not going to fucking work. The best I can do now,

which is what I didn't tell you, well I told the other two guys, but I mentioned already is that the best I can hope is to put in games that I've never put in. The ones that I own. Just to see what happens. See if it works.

There's a shrink wrap shit here and there. And then the other part of it too is that no matter what, even if you are keeping up with things at a rate that you're satisfied with in terms of playing games and stuff, that definitely means that there's a ton of movies, books, and comics you're not reading.

It's impossible to consume all the media. There's a phrase that's upsetting. And everyone that yells at you for not watching a thing or not being into a thing, it's like too much. It's like, hey person that's yelling, what have you not watched? What have you not seen? Why did you not watch Joey?

How did you spend your time? You can't recite voice to men? They're overrated. There's a phrase that describes this exact scenario and it's called an embarrassment of riches. It's like, what do I do? Why can't I hold all these lines? I have so many games at home, I'm so bored.

Paralysis of choice is not fun. Here's the good example. We sound like pieces of shit. Because we are. I just talked about how I'm excited for The Witcher. That's going to blow everything out. Why do you think this is what happened this week was a bunch of movies?

Because I don't really want to play anything because I want to play The Witcher. I don't even want to play Eternity right now because I want to play The Witcher. And it's not out for two weeks so I end up watching Kung Fu. I had this fucking thing happen where every Sunday they post on the PlayStation blog what games are coming out this week. I look at it and I'm like, okay, I knew that game was coming out this week.

I forgot these two games were coming out this week. Great, I'm going to finish one of them instantly. I will never finish one of them. You will not even play. Or never play, yeah. Going back to the original question, most people notice when I talk about I've seen a movie it's almost like 80% horror movies

because there's so many of them. Like there's barely any action movies of any note. It's also your default like space. Yeah, I know. There's so many coming out like on let's say Netflix or Xbox, video, PS1, whatever. I'm like, oh, let's see if this one's good. I want one that can scare me and make me like

remember it. And it's like a challenge. You've been built up. So that's why when Babadook or something, I'm like, that's super good and Pat's like, oh yeah, I'll watch that. And God forbid you fucking find a game that eats you. Like Monster Hunter, that's 30 games I didn't play. May as well be.

I put 300 hours in it. That's literally 30 games I did not play this year. Well, you remember when I played through the Persona games, I did those in the span of weeks. There was nothing. That's 20 to 25 games that you didn't play. It completely knocked off the board. That's 30 seasons that you didn't want or whatever.

Exactly. It's a persistent thing, but it is what it is. There should be a method to find out what's the best things of all things. Some kind of aggregation of good taste. Some kind of metric thing. Some kind of meta system that lets me figure out how good this tomato is. Maybe someday. What the critics are saying about it.

Yeah. Hey, what's Paul Blartat? 4%. Are you serious, the king? I love how I kept up to date because I knew this would come up. You're totally right. They fucking ruined it. That just says you guys got to check out Rotten Tomatoes because there's an event happening.

Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 is at actual 0%. Now it's at 4%. It was nuts. It's at 4%, but that beats out Master of Disguise with Dana Carvey. No! That's what's known as reviewer creep. Over time, there will be an increase in reviewers and power. It's like Goku.

Whoever gave that a positive review, ignore the rest of his career. Straight up. Avengers is only at 77. I'm going to take a cocoon from Vicks, aka Fini Von Karma. You're supposed to rub it on your back. You're not supposed to eat it. Don't eat it. Fuck you, dad. He told me to eat it through the sore throat. Wait, that was you?

My dad was saying swallow Vicks. Yeah, the relatives that did that. That was an example. People think it was me, but it wasn't me. It was you. It was my dad telling us to swallow Vicks before it happened. I didn't do it. It was a terrible idea. The commercial shows it rubbing on people's backs.

Fuck, man. Would I see hot on your dick? That's the funniest thing ever. The best. Do I see hot all right? And rub Ben gay on your nuts. That's it. Putting air in your shampoo.

Fini Von Karma says don't do any of the things we just said. Games out in the booth. And if you do, message us about them. You guys are just talking about running into people like playing mobiles in the streets and like in Japan, no Vitas and so on. That's right. And so on and so forth. Have you ever seen anything like that, but it's just super weird or unusual.

My example is I saw an older lady on a bus who had a laptop out playing Monopoly. Oh, there's a guy playing Vita in the fucking airplane seat in front of Liam when we got on the plane of Buffalo. Yeah, yeah. He was playing Lego and that was super weird. That was kind of normal. I mean, you see people on Vitas every now and again. No, we're talking about like that wonder swan kid. There's a guy near where I live who every now and then I'll get on the Metro at the same time as him

and he always has a Game Boy Color and he's playing one of the Pokemon games. Which is purple? No, it's green. And he always has one of the Pokemon games in the back and he always switches the version of it. He likes Pokemon. He likes the old Pokemon. I ran into someone playing a GP32X just in the wild and that was cool. It was a while ago, but it was just like, yeah, what are the odds?

The simulation thing. Yeah, straight up. The homebrew box. Straight up, had one. I wish I had a really good story. Like, oh yeah, there's this like hot 18 year old girl that was like just wearing a virtual boy, just walking down the street. Just strapped to her face with a bunch of duct tape. Blood shooting out of her ears from the migraines.

But no, I can't recall anything. Me neither. I got nothing. Unfortunate. I think I've never seen someone like again in the Metro had a weird console. Like it was like a wonder swan or something really. I remember someone once asked me what I was playing when I was playing a wonder swan. No, it was a Neo Geo Pocket Color.

Was it you that asked yourself? No, no. I think it was a Neo Geo Pocket and someone asked me what that was. You know, if you've ever seen some kid with a PSP on a chain around his neck, that counts. I think the closest thing I can think of is like two years ago, I saw somebody playing Daxter on a PSP GO. PSP GO is a good one. And I'm like, I thought I was the only one who bought that piece of shit. Such a nifty device.

Especially when you break it the fuck open. And play Crysis Core on it. Totally legit. And one from Rona here. Hey guys, Willie in particular, there's a reason for this though. Willie, I'm like you. I'm affected by the dreaded video game motion sickness slash virtual lag, whatever you want to call it thing. Unfortunate.

I can usually only last 20 minutes on some games. Always FPSs. It's the FOV. Before the horrible symptoms start. Did you suffer from this or did you have any learned techniques that helped you cope? If so, please share. I'm sure my longtime suffering daughter would also appreciate me not dipping out after 20 minutes every flip in time. Thank you, cheers, Rona.

For a lot of situations, it's the field of view fucking people off. So if it's a first person shooter game, definitely, and it's on PC, or you have like ability to go into settings and stuff. Look for the field of vision and try to expand that because sometimes just doing that lets you see more of the environment and you don't need to turn as much and as drastically and that won't make you sick. Alternately, if you start feeling sick, put your head between your knees and keep playing like that. You'll have to get sick again. I, personally, what I found helped ease me into a lot of the games because I honestly don't have it as bad anymore. No, it's clear because we're fucking with you in videos and you're not throwing up.

It sucks. When we start playing, when we have the Descent Mystery Box, we'll get right back to that. The first time we were playing recently that I don't think anyone would think anything of it, but then you were like, whoa, whoa, and forget what it was. It was something like in the last month or so. Yeah, no, I know what you're talking about. Well, the only thing was also very specific of some degree of parallel movement in regards to geometry. It was, what I found was that, like, it was exactly so indoor first person shooters with very high mouse sensitivity were a problem. And I found that, like, playing games that were first person but had more large environments, didn't have as much,

got me used to that where, like, I played, like, Portal where you wouldn't have that many corridors, you'd have open rooms, but you'd have to spin very quickly. Let's talk about the ultimate. As somebody who, Wally, you would get sick from a first person perspective, one of your favorite games ever is the motion sickness simulator known as Mirror's Edge. Exactly. Something that I remember, one of the earliest things was I had trouble playing Rainbow Six and Rogue Spear way back in the day, and then when Raven Shield came out, that was outdoors in the woods environment, and, like, that got rid of the problem entirely.

So, you know, games with that will help ease you into it. Metroid Prime is a good example. It mixes corridors with open, you know, and, like, it gets you used to it in, like, short bursts without making you go, You might want to check out some of those optical illusion studies that describe how certain genetic descendants from various parts of the world view the 2D representations of 3D space in different ways over time. And, like, you know, like, say the corner, the upper corner of a wall where the ceiling hits it? It's like some people in certain parts of the world, such as Sub-Saharan Africa, like, particularly, view that as a corner sticking out and not a corner sticking in

because of the cultural genetics of buildings. And that can affect people's motion sickness. Like, how a lot of native folks down in Kanawagi have no sense of vertigo at all, which is why they're so good at building bridges. Huh, okay. The dress was blue. Sure, man. So, I was doomed on that dress shit because I used flux, which makes it orange. Yeah.

You were just wrong because of flux. I don't want to talk about it. Yeah. About the dress? Which colors do you think it was? It's so exhausting. At the beginning, I saw it white and I didn't understand what everyone was talking about and then I switched monitors and then saw it blue.

Yeah. Like, stupid. And then you were like, what? It was stupid. It was stupid. Anyway. Is this subway train coming in or leaving the station? Which way is the ballerina poser girl turning it?

That's a good one. That's a good one. That's your brain being wrong on both counts. There's no ballerina girl, idiot. Like, that's the real trick. But yeah, Rona, there's training wheel games, I'd say, that they have fast movement but open spaces or closed spaces but less mouse sensitivity and that'll get you used to it. I say, fake it till you make it.

Just keep barfing until there ain't nothing left and then persevere. Because if I went back to Wolfenstein, I'd probably still feel a little churned. Doom, man. Doom is because you can- No, Wolfenstein's worse. What? I like Doom's worse because it's faster. It's so much faster.

Doom's faster but Wolfenstein is nothing but brick hallway. Yeah. That's great. I remember the Windows fucking screensaver. What? Screensaver? The Windows corridor screensaver. I love that.

Did you see the Onion article about the person who's selling that property? That's great. Liam, you aren't there. Did you see the article about the iPhone mind sweeper where it's like welcome to mind sweeper on the iPhone where the numbers don't matter and the bombs can be anywhere. And you see a solved puzzle where it says three and there's no bombs. And there's no bombs? There's nothing.

Wow. And there's a whole bunch of ones and there's bombs everywhere. Wow. It's just a harsh shit. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. What were you saying?

I was just thinking back to, we were at Woolie's place, Matt and I, and you weren't there unfortunately. I don't think you even knew the gang, but it was Halo season or something. And Woolie was like, oh, I'm going to check out Marathon and fucking download it and load it up Marathon. And within one second, like, his fucking hair blew back and he recoiled into the couch as he touched the controller and almost instantly vomited. That's the worst one I've ever seen is Marathon 1. Who do you?

Because you don't, and it's when you're also, you're not a person or you don't move like a person. You're just a gun. You move like a floating gun. Where's Edge? You feel the momentum of a person walking and running. When you're a sliding gun camera. This form of motion sickness makes me think that you should never get on to a boat.

Absolutely not. Because I have sea legs. I'm totally fine. What? Because motion sickness, sea sickness is your body is moving, but the horizon isn't. No, I've done it before. My brother was super straight. You are so specifically fucked up.

Also, it's really different. They're really different. And also, boats nowadays, like you get on a yacht and it's just a yacht, man. Like, there's no rocking and rolling on modern day boats. Dude, I used to go fishing with my pups. I'm just joking. We were on a boat together. And then what's it called?

All of us were on a boat together. Hey, Pat. Hey, eight-year-old Pat. Why don't you drive the boat and I almost crashed it. It was bad stuff. How did you almost crash it into the water? Because I was pointing at a bridge and I had to turn and I froze and just sped up the boat instead of slowing it down.

Wow. And then at the last second, I was like, oh god, and then I turned, but I turned really hard. Oh, man. And it almost flew into the water. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. No, we boated from Grenada to Caricou and the fucking rocking and rolling of the waves.

Initially it's problematic, but once you just roll your body with it, you're fine. But my brother was blowing chunks hard over the edge like the whole time. You won. It happens. There you go. All right, let's wrap this shit up. Hey, Woolies Brothers, you want to go all like, oh fuck, I fucked this up. Why would you call your brother Woolies Brother?

He should. Fuck it. I fucked the whole joke up from second one. I'm not even going to attempt to say that to my sister. God, that way to invalidate their entire life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Matt, what are you watching?

I bought Batman Court of Owls, which people suggested I buy. It's like probably one of the better New 52 stuff and the new run of Ninja Turtles from IDW that I've been eyeing. So I bought those, but I didn't read them yet. And Kaiju Max. Kaiju Max. Yeah, I started reading that a little bit. It's really cute.

Is it? I'll talk more about it next week. Yeah. You know what? Fucking shout outs to Fred from Onipress. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Like, totally is a cool guy and sent to some Onipress comics to check out, including Kaiju

Max. Yeah. Tell me what it's like. That and Chip Avengers coming up. Well, of course. We should probably go see that and talk about it on purpose. Probably. Maybe.

Yeah. We're going to have a stage out today for Backers tomorrow for everyone else. The second one? The second one. Exactly. So the final bit of the game. I'm very excited to play that. Omega Quintet's out, so I'll play that.

And there's a game. Willie, you might in particular be interested by this game. I know I'm getting it called Project Root for the PS4 and Vita. I believe it's called Project Root. It's an open world shmup. So instead of having levels in a shmup, it's top down and it's a shmup, but you can go fucking anywhere. And the bosses are all over the open world.

And you just go. It's an open world shmup. That sounds pretty good. It's kind of interesting, so. Nice. Okay. I'm curious about the problem. Project Root?

I think it's called Project Root. Either way, it's up on PSN tomorrow, so you'll see it if you look. Okay. Did anyone try 200 CC? I know. I want to do that this week. It was so weird. Okay.

I loaded it up, got the patch, and went to Grand Prix and it wasn't there. I really want to try it this week. And I was like, what the hell? And then I looked it up and it was like it's only in turn mode or whatever. Or what it feels like. They just post red line. I saw that picture and that's pretty funny. Yeah.

But like this weekend, I played F-Zero. GX just fucking was playing. Emulated? No. We were hooked up a GameCube and just played. Okay. You should emulate it, by the way. Well, Willy's legit.

Yeah. But you know, we played like, got four people and we did it. And like that is fast and fun and crazy and holy shit. I forgot how to play it. I'm garbage now. Yeah. Fair. But I want to know if it's anything approaching that.

It's not. And I know that because there was specifically a threat on Gap that was made that was like is 200 CC a good replacement for F-Zero? No. And tons of people who played it were like, no, this does not even approach the skill window of F-Zero. Ah. So no.

But everyone also says it's a load of fun, except for some of the levels that aren't really designed for it. Too made for this. Going too fucking fast. But everyone seems to think it's a ton of fun. Why not just release the limiters there? Why stop at 200? Why stop at 200?

Because the levels fall apart at that point. They should have it work that when you reverse, there's no upper cap. Like big rigs. Like big rigs. I like where this is going. Then real masters are going to be fucking doing the tracks backwards. Yep. And why have gravity apply as well?

When you get a wall, just keep driving up the wall. Keep driving up the wall. You want to hit that mountaintop? Yeah. Reverse it. No concept of airtime. Big rigs is a hidden show. You go to a rap and you just go around the bottom of the platform.

Yeah. You lock onto it like a Tron bike. Yeah. She's never finished the level. Yeah. That's great. What else is going on? Did you see they're making a Korra Disney Infinity figure?

That's nice. From Tron? Korra. Yeah. Oh, not Korra. No, that's why I'm talking. Korra. Targeting, I'm Z-targeting you with this information.

Well, there's the new Tron thing coming as well. She's getting a figure too. Is she sitting on the couch? No. But you can mod that. Yeah, I can. What's wrong with you? I really like that shot.

I know. It's been your wallpaper for 40 years. It's also a really nice couch. It's a really nice couch. Like, what do you want me to say? In all fairness, you're right. Come on. You love that couch so much.

I would. Okay. Well, fair enough. Get her on the couch. Yeah, it's a good burn. It is a good burn. What are you looking forward to, Patrick? I don't know, man.

I'm going to be playing and watching a melange of bullshit until Witcher comes out. What is that? It's May 19th. So the following couple of weeks of, hey, Pat, what you do, it's all going to be lies about I was just watching previews of Witcher footage. You're going to be hearing and not appreciating Charles Dance because you don't know who that is yet. Who?

What? Exactly. Anyway. What the fuck is he talking about? There's a Game of Thrones character that's a voice actor in the Witcher. And he's like such a cool dude, but you're not there yet. You're not going to gather worry. Why would I appreciate him any less if he does a good job in the Witcher than if I knew

who he was already? He actually totally knows who he is. Because you're supposed to mark out when you do. It's Tywin. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, are you out there?

All right. All right. Even then, he's a good voice actor. In general. All the voice actors in the Witcher games are great. I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's a good character. Just like every other character. Witcher, please stop stealing all our women.

That's basically the plot of the Witcher games. What? That's how they speak in the Witcher. Bjork Bjork Bjork Bjork Bjork. He's going for the Bork Bork, but he's crossing with Bjork Bjork. Yeah, I know. Bjork Bork. That's why I said it.

Oh, Poland. Because they're in Poland? Yeah. Poland's adorable. Okay. So Liam, you didn't completely crush my spirit on Titan's Souls. I'm going to give it the good old college try. No, give it a go.

I'm going to see how I feel about that. I'm going to enjoy it. For sure. You know. But, you know. Snow shoveling. The saga continues. It's no 1001 spike.

That's more fair. I like how Shovel Knight has come to the place where it's like, it's not fair to compare anything to Shovel Knight. It's already up there. Mega Man 2 is pretty good. It's like, it's not fair. I'll compare it to Shovel Knight. Dude, I did it.

I did it for Cave Story. I don't mind comparing shit to Shovel Knight. If only, because like I said, Shovel Knight is good for simple reasons. Shovel Knight's OP. Shovel Knight's OP. Yeah, no, but that continues. Has anyone played Mewtwo yet?

I downloaded him and then turned the Wii U off. Yeah, so whatever. Front mission continues and that shit. All the same shit I'm talking about. Pat, you should play a 10001 spike. I don't like it. I don't like Mulana. I don't like 10001 spikes.

I don't like Mulana. I don't like any of them. I don't like how any of them play or control over the point. But I don't like the concept. I thought I did, but I don't. Yeah, you know what the concept is. I don't like fucking Spelunky either. He's not Spelunky.

It's a different game. He doesn't care that there's two jump buttons. I super don't care. It's so fascinating. It doesn't care. There's two jump buttons. I think it is fascinating and I don't care. You need both of them.

Liam, your two jump button speech is starting to become, did you know that Boiler took 12 years to make? Yeah. Did you know that this has two jump buttons? If one of you would fucking play the game, you would see it. I played it. I played it.

That's what I felt. It's really smart. I literally went, I get it, Liam. And you're like, Jill, do you really? Do you know it has two buttons? See, in most games you just hold the button for longer and that makes you jump higher. So I was like, no.

But here you need the precision of the two different jumps. Yeah, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. You love it. Liam, stop kicking the fucking table. No, you just kicked it. It made a blip on the audacity. No, seriously.

Now it's making a lot of noise. People complained last week about you kicking the table. What's coming up on the channel? We're going to finish off MK. Yeah. We're going to continue to get hype about fucking B-list shit characters. Yo, is that Serena? Does Resident Evil Revelations finish by the time the next podcast?

By next Monday. It'll finish next Sunday. There you go. And Game of Thrones is wrapping up as well. Something will replace Revelations. Yes. Rest assured the channel doesn't end there. It never ends.

And Bloodborne continues on forever. Forever. Forever. To my grave. To my grave. Yeah, to my grave. So that's that. Rise from your grave.

Find escape from the nightmare. Yeah. Hey, apparently some door that couldn't be opened is now opened or something. What? There's news about a door that could be opened. A flare door? I don't know. No way.

It's all spoilers to me, so I just don't look at it, but news reports are popping up today and yesterday about how the patch came out for Bloodborne. Yeah. And there's a door that couldn't be opened that there's now a way to open it. That has to be the cleric door. I hope it's the cleric door. That's the shortcut door that we found that we're like, this is obviously a shortcut, but we can't figure out how to open it.

Yeah. In the pot room. In the pot room. Yeah. Oh, maybe. It must be that. Maybe. Sick.

That'd be really cool. I was really upset with the pin. People ran tests and put coins in the wall and then went to the other side. But we don't know. I mean, that could open later in our game, for all we know. No, that door doesn't open. No, that door is locked. Did you confirm that with the outside sources?

Yes, I did confirm that with outside sources. Pass the cheater. It's fine. All right. Well, maybe that's the door. Maybe. I hope it is. Is there any other door with a prompt on it that has a clue?

You know what I mean? Like, yeah. That Bloodborne patch that fucking cuts the load times, boy does it. Yeah, they totally shit it on that one. It's awesome. Loading screen tips, too. Yeah, loading screen tips, too. It's a huge improvement.

The better part. Which you said, I remember we talked about that. You're like, oh, there's probably a plot reason why they're not... No, they just fucked up. They just didn't know it. They just didn't know it. That was it. Oh, wow.

And knowing, and honestly, I should have guessed that knowing the QA works or things like that will happen in the final builds. Like, suddenly, this entire loading screen thing, God, what was it? Sleeping dogs had a weird thing like that. There was a loading screen that used to display a bunch of shit. This got changed at the last second. And it was like, oh, God, damn it. That was cool.

That used to pan around like crazy and shit. And now it's still sort of there, but there's some stuff that wasn't as it was. Yeah. So that shit happens. Anyway. All right, we're going to see you guys next week, unless you actually watch our videos, at which point you can see us whenever you want. Yep.

Yep. But the podcast will be back next week. All right. Q the music. Oh, you have music at these, right? Yeah, I'm fading into it right now. Did you finally, like, give up and just start listening to music tracks? Yeah, I did.

Yeah. I know. People getting really happy about that. And then only recently, when I got into my business, I used to be profliged as a little like the leader of the team. I figured out shit. And it was fun to do. It was something that I enjoyed.

But when people start asking me, aren't you totally faded out at this point? No, no, no, no, no. He'll start at one. He'll start at one. He'll start at one. But, like, it was just straight up not. He'll start at it and then unfade it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then someone was getting, like, someone was, like, I'm getting really pissed at Woolies not saying what these are or whatever. And I was just, like, it was just to have fun. Yeah, exactly. That's all it was.

It was the bonus thing. It wasn't a, like, dangle. Just like starting the entire music thing, it used to just be the K.I. sound. And then the punch-out thing. I can get you to that empathy place. I know exactly what to tell you, and you'll be there. Do you remember in the hotel when we were watching Batchamania and you were losing it? Because you could not instantly know what 8-bit music was playing every time.

And you couldn't watch the video. You couldn't pay attention to what was happening. You started sweating. All you could think about was, what track is this? Oh, I don't know. Is that guilty? Is that correct? That's Korean reload.

And the answer was always on whoever retweeted it first. Yeah, exactly. So, you know. But people took it to mean that you were challenging everyone saying get good at listening. You should know. I've got threads. I'm good at music. No, it was just a hate.

Someone gets a retweet if you guess it. But someone pointed out that it's not cool that people might not get credited if they don't know about that thing or whatever. And I was like, you know what? Fair enough. That's a good point. I'm going to not put it there. What is it this week?

Is a thing or a name?