Castle Super Beast - SBFC 117: The Sistine Chapel, brought to you by Real Player

Episode Date: November 3, 2015

Holy Matrimony, unforgivable compression, and the plan to stimulate Japanese birth rates via Gunddam.

You know, all the preparation, you think about how everything goes in your head, and you know, you're asked the question, and you're told to repeat, and yet somehow I still said I take the Rachel. Yeah. And I was trying not to. Just practiced it. We all heard it. I was trying to, and then everyone gasps.

God damn it. One of the Italian sides of the family, who might as well be Joey, drops something. Jack drops his granola. Oh, it was me a hundred bucks down there. Yeah. I knew it would happen. And I thought about, in my vows, I thought, like, I should actually get a friend's gag in there.

But I was like, no, there's like, century-old people in this room. Well, we also... There was that one guy that was falling apart. Yeah. The one wearing the pirate hat? The one who flew fr- Yeah. The one who was in the castle.

You're the old guy in the castle. Yeah. Yeah. You know the guy? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That reception I was waiting, man. There was some...

There was a table of Italian motherfuckers that looked like the Punisher was coming. I saw Anthony from Team Four Star said, like, on Facebook the other day, he's like, you know what? I know that when a bunch of Italians get together and Punisher logos are being flashed, you know, they get antsy. They get antsy. My cufflinks, they see those cufflinks. What's going on over here?

Yeah. You sat us down next to the Falcone table. Yeah. What's the shit going on? Oh, man. So, yeah. You were still sore, huh? Well, I'm still sore.

I'm still sore from the rug cutting that occurred. Woolly, woolly, woolly cut many rugs. That was a good time. All night long. Well, I was... You two were in bed. You were still sleeping. In bullshit shoes.

And you were still dancing. You were still sleeping and dancing apparently. Did you change shoes? I... I had to change shoes. At the end, end, end. I eventually went and changed my shoes out. Because my one foot still hurts from the Falcone shoes.

Rocky and I took a break and changed up the shoes. Falcone shoes. We came back in and motherfucking Back to Rise started up. Well, it was Limp Bizkit and then it went right into Back to Rise. That was sick. And we kind of like, moshed the wedding dance floor when that came down. How many old ladies did you knock down, Willie? It was a good time.

His ratio was low. Is the answer zero? No. I actually... I picked up a few old ladies and then we danced together and we did some of the disco inferno and shit. It was a fun time, man. Yeah.

You know what I explained? Like, I don't get to dance often. So when I do, I like talking about Willie, the day you dance all day, every day, as soon as we took away. No, he doesn't. All the time off camera. You think he does, but it's not that exciting. I just imagined that whenever you're talking to someone and we're not around, you're doing

the fucking P. Diddy, like, shoulder shuffle. The actual Harlem Shake. Yes. All right. Yeah. Do we want to... Do you want to go into more? I'll do.

Well, look. I mean, we came in here, you know, cracking jokes, just like, oh, Matt. Congratulations, Matt. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. So did someone talk to my wife about that before? No.

No. No. It was... Willie came up with that, like, about 90 seconds before we... No, he didn't. But whatever. Oh, wait. Who was it?

Lee. Oh, was it you? Yeah. Okay, because in the receiving line, Liam said there's going to be a thing. Liam told the dark friends and then we all started just... Because I saw him saying it and then it got over to me. I'm sorry, Liam. It's okay.

Credit, credit, it's too. Yeah, it makes more sense this way. That was a good time. That was fun. It worked out. So I looked over at my bride and you're all doing the Vangelion thing and she's just like, it's just some nerd anime shit, I know it and I'm like, yeah. There was a moment where that, right before that happened that I turned to somebody, it's

like, do you think he's going to interpret this as an explicit threat? Yeah. There was a possibility. I don't think so. But we were saying just before you got here that when Matt arrives, he's either going to be like, hey guys, sorry I'm late, I was smooching the video. No. Or he's going to come in and be like, oh, the old ball and chain.

Well, I had to get out of there. Which one of you's turn is it this week, huh? Well, here's the thing about having a delayed honeymoon is that whole new set of shit. We have two days to get all this shit together to go and tons of errands, so it's like, it's not quite... Hold the romance. It's still a little busy. Usually you're supposed to go the next day when someone else takes care of it.

You should be out of here. You should be in China. I want to say shout-outs. They're not honeymooning in China. Yeah, that's the classic shit. Shout-outs to the fact that God was evicted from the wedding, not unlike DJ Jazzy Jeff from the Fresh Prince House, because literally all mentions of God wiped from the record everything relating to that.

I had all the younger sides. All the younger people on the Italian side go, that was the best ceremony ever. Well, it was like four minutes. Because God's ceremonies, God takes all credit. No God, no sermon. It's really simple. The equation is straight. And I was actually taken aback by how fast it went, but that was the time where I was

the most actual, almost about to vomit any time I said it. Yeah, no. So I'm glad it was that short. Get her done. It was the theme. It was good. I wanted to get to the party, and I wanted to get to the party. Yes.

The fun stuff. Double shout-outs. Everyone was looking at you. There were. Double shout-outs to the bride for fucking almost having Patton eyes. So short-awaiting. All the way. All the way.

I like that. There was a line in those vows, in which she called you, of course, the coolest and the strongest. Yes. And it was in the middle of all this super corny, heartfelt shit that Mooli and I were clearly not ready, because we both uttered these stifled barks, a boom, and the quiet, your whole body is shaking behind your hand, but you're up there. You can't lose it.

We've got to maintain it. Like, again, there were laps here and there, so if you had laughed, it wouldn't have been too bad. But if it was tagged with that, it was like that person's name level of laugh. I would have been knee-slapping and falling out if she tagged it with, and nobody can ever, ever beat you. It would have been done. Oh, my king, my king of strong style.

It would have been done. I couldn't believe that person. It was already pretty great. Mine was more cheesy and lovey-dovey than hers was. No, Matt turned into a pouring real quick. Yeah, kind of. The real, real mushy and lovely, but it was really the whole thing, but it was so sweet. The whole thing was emotional.

I was like, all right. Okay, there are three speeches given to us from my best man, the real Rocky, my wife's sister, and one of her best friends, and during at least two of them, I was an absolute mess. I was falling apart. I know which to. I mean, super hard, because they were really, really nice, and the entire night when people come up to you and they're just like, and you can tell, well, as the night goes on, we're like, okay, well, this motherfucker is fucking drunk, but earlier on, or whatever,

people are just coming out to me and they're like, you know, just, you guys feel so right for each other, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I'm just like, that's where I get, like, if my family comes, I'm like, eh, I love you and know you, but I, you know, then I get brand new people that are like, I've only met you today and like, this is, you like, my own wedding was shit. Stranger than she is. You have shown me a real wedding, right? You've shown me the one true wedding.

It's like, you're all, you're done with all the tasks and people are coming up to you and retroactively putting pressure on you in the past. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A horizontal guy or two that puts some pressure on me. He says, you better take care of her. Yeah, yeah.

I've had in-depth discussions with the door kids about how when you show up to a wedding, you can't ever outdress the bride and groom. And they, I guess, I guess have never heard of this rule. We discussed it in-depth and it was a whole thing and then the door kids showed up in fucking Victorian JoJo attire. Ivy's second player costume. So like Ivy, Ivy's, Ivy and Edgeworth's cousins. Yes, yes.

Edgeworth's. Edgeworth's. Top to the bottom to the nines. I saw it and I was like, why did I wear a suit? Yeah. You were like, well, they made us. Complete with, complete with Kane that like. Sorkin.

Sorkin, exactly. Like Belmont's. Yeah. They were Belmont's. It was unbelievable. I turned to Leanna and I was just like, man, we look like shit compared to them. And she's chewing her food. She's like, yeah.

They're costumes. They're so good. They're really good. They're really good. Yeah. So, shout out to all you guys who are putting up with George the photographer. No, shout outs to you for putting up with George. Because I had a whole extra session with him.

That, well, all of you were having fun and eating at that point. I was still outside having to do all these forced poses. Look, look, look, I understand. Just Michael Jackson, your baby over, over the, over the, over the, over the, over the balcony. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. Just don't be a baby.

Dude, I still don't get that thing with the shoes. I don't know. I still don't get it. I didn't want to talk about it. Yeah. It's been bothering me all weekend. But she has this amazing beautiful dress and he's like, go, go, go in mud. Go in mud.

It's good to get the mud. Oh, yeah. Like, I'm like, the dress is getting ruined and one, whatever. And he's like, no, no, no. And like, it kind of sucks because I want to be like 100% angry and resentful. But then whenever he takes the camera out, I show me pictures and I'm like, oh, fuck. Why are you a good photographer and just cleaning off your antagonism? Kind of.

Kind of. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm being kind of bitchy. Well, that's why I haven't eaten. That's why you took that photo of us strangling him because he knew. That's good. That's good. It was a good touch.

Other shout outs we got to give to the JPEG compression. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The beautiful painting. The real star. Renna Sons. You get into the hotel and there is a 20 foot tall French painting that has been scanned

or photographed and zoomed in on and has been artifacted so hard that it no longer even looks like a painting. It is clearly an original regular ass size, window size painting. That was stress. It was blown on. To 20 feet high. To 20 feet high. Like, their heart was in the right place, but they lacked the technical know-how.

The Sistine Chapel brought to you by Real Player. Yes. As all internet people, we all walk in and all of us are like, whoa. Yeah. It's the first thing. The argument became whether or not they, you're saying they scanned it in and well, he's like, no, they just got it off Google in his school. Yeah.

Yeah. That's right. You can see the IGN logo in the corner. You can see it. There's no way that they went to like the Louvre and looked for a photo and said, oh, this one's the right one. No, they fucking like Google French art. Didn't even set it to high quality images.

They were like 300 pixels. That's a lot. They could have literally gone to the Fine Arts Museum that's like a mile away, asked for a brochure or a little print or whatever, and just scan that at a high resolution, like higher than you need. And they were like, you could have just done it. It's like the amount of time spent on this, the most visually distinctive thing in the entire building was five seconds.

Fortunately, it wasn't in the wedding. Oh, yeah. But that was the lobby of the hotel area. And I'm like, for some reason, because I've seen that before, and it's always been in churches when they have like a baptismal pool, and they just have a shitty JPEG background. I told you. I told you about this. It's fucked.

And you're like, there's no money there. You're expecting the beautiful stained glass and shit, right? You're expecting like Notre Dame downtown. Yeah. Final boss fight room. No, no. Instead of that, it's just a little picture of a little yellow frog. Yeah.

The image check. Used your bandwidth. Don't hot link our images into your church, please. Something that was really fucked up. Because they used to not have to pay them and they just paint Sistine chapels. And now you have to pay artists. Yeah, back in the day when people would paint your chapel for exposure. Either you're a real church and you don't got money for that, or you're a giga-church

and you just want to put a big American flag in an eagle. Yeah. There's no middle ground where you get a nice painting for yourself anymore. You guys would never have seen it, but it's the most fucked up thing ever. Is that you were in the two lofts for the bride and the groom? We were. Yeah. We were there all day.

And I was all day freaking out and buying my nails and shit like that. And those rooms were really... You seemed pretty good, actually. Yeah. He was. Whenever I was looking at my phone, I was trying to remember my vows, which I barely remembered. Like, I remembered threads.

Anyway. She would have said yes to anything. Yeah. That's what the teleprompter was for. I wish. It was been helpful. But those rooms were nice, right? Yeah, they're nice.

They're nice. The next day, we go to her parents who had gotten a room at the hotel. And they have this 20-foot-high ceilings, multiple floors, an awesome view, a separate bedroom, a big bedroom, a hot tub. Like a gigaloft. Like a gigaloft. And I'm in there and I go, what the hell? Yeah.

And they're like, well, what? What? And I'm like... I think I can fill in a blank there for you. Because that area is both staging area and after-party zone, I imagine that place can't be quite as nice because it's somewhat assumed that people will trash it. I guess so. And one of those rooms was free.

One of them came with... One of them didn't need to be rented. Just a package deal. A package deal. But I still got... I'm like, I didn't did the thing! I married him! Come on!

Why don't I get the hot tub? That's your reward. That's my reward. And the other thing I really kind of wanted to say is that the one thing we were really worried about are the two themed areas of the night. Since it was on Halloween, costume area and giant candy bar. And our main two fears was, hey, everyone, the costume area is open and everyone just stays in their seats.

That did not happen. Everyone rushed it. Even sports tried to get in on it and put a Jason mask on. I saw sports with the Jason. Yeah. He was trying. Super hard sports did. And candy bar, I was so happy, went over and it was just empty.

Yeah, I tried. I tried. The only thing left were the two chocolate skulls, which apparently... No one knew they were chocolate. No one knew. We should have put a thing. Dude, I thought it was plastic. And this lady was like, oh, is that white chocolate?

Well, he has a video of me getting super drunk, bashing the skull open and eating it. And then I'm like, ah, it's plastic. There's a moment in your drunkenness at the social event that somebody just shows up and they have a ton of candy. Whoa! Where did you get that candy? As you're eating this delicious Italian meal, just like those ball bearings. I tried.

Those are cola. I had one or two. I put a dedicated amount on my candy plate. I put a section. I remember you were playing with them on the table. Yeah, I made a section for them. My Marvel Madness. I tasted one and then I played Snooker for the rest of the night.

Because you're like, why is this taking so long to eat? Why is this taking so long? Why am I actually being fed Pachinko Ball? Yeah, exactly. We saw that they were called cola balls. We were like, those must be fun. No, the premise is good and had they just been crunchy and they would have been great. And the only thing where I always got so crazy and I'm like, it's one of those things where

I'm glad that didn't work out, where it's like, now the midnight snack table is open. Yeah. There's hot dogs, desserts, poutine, smoked meat, and all this shit. And that was barely touched because everyone was full, which I was told if Italians go home hungry, they go home resenting this wedding. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, motherfuckers, you are all fucking full. Yeah, yeah.

No. Give me, give me, give me my respect. Twice or at least three times, you tried to lead me over there and I had to push you off. Hell no! I had to throw break, like I had to techmatch grab to be like, I'm fucking done, man. I had three shanks. I went over there and like looked at it and was like, no, I can't, like I had the plate

and got to the end and then had nothing. There were mini grilled cheeses that I didn't even know about. That was right when I was leaving and you remember, I brought you the key card and I was like, let me just swing by that table and I grabbed a plate full of food and took it out with me. It was great. It was drunk and it's like midnight and you get to eat a hot dog. That's amazing feeling.

Damn. That's the married life. Yeah. Hot dog anytime of the day. Anytime of the day. Come home and a bunch of hot dogs are thawing out in the sink. I know it's over. How do I cook these?

You need to get a big rice carpet. I need to get a big. That was a number one comment. I was like, hey, everyone, I beat the wedding and someone goes, well, I sleep in a racing car on Twitter and I'm like, damn, all in all, 10 on 10 would wet again. I would. I would wet again. Hopefully not.

But honestly, that whole linguistic metaphor just completely falls apart when you put on a wedding. Also, giving us intro music at the reception, but not telling us what it is, that means that every one of us is walking in, has a like a two second delay of and then try to play along. So yeah. Yeah. Thankfully, I think we all did.

Well, you guys had entrances. We got your, your, your girlfriend, Liam, took very good videos of that. So you're trying to see if we can incorporate those because some of them like the people are too loud. You can't even hear the music. Right. You can't even hear the main entrances, which is you and Wooly's cape, like the music really well.

Do a kayfabe wrestling entrance on reaction. Yeah. I hope I didn't watch it because I couldn't hear the beginning of the song. No, you couldn't hear it. I was like way deeper in there and I couldn't hear the beginning of your song. But apparently the couple of steps in you took right when you, you heard it, you got one of, you got your. I got it.

I got it. I got it. It came out. It came out. Yeah. That was really fun. I'm really glad that that turned out. There's a lot of different video sources, like several people like Matt, you, you do

video videos on YouTube and also the real Rocky just blathered on an Italian for a speech and the words I heard were internet. Internet. Yeah. And YouTube explained to everybody like what the fuck we do. He was selling so hard to the Italian crowd. I half expected him to go like, hello, Montreau. Yeah.

Hello, little Italy, Montreau. That was really fun. But I'm going to try to, I'm going to try to see if we can make like a cohesive little five, 10 minute thing and hopefully. Cohesive might be tough. Well, cohesive. Fun. Sure.

Sorry. Sorry. I start middle and an end. Okay. That's all I'm looking for. So yeah. That's going to be like a fucking. It's going to be something.

And all those photos that we got all taken of us. Yeah. Unfortunately, I'm probably only going to get those in like a week or two. It always takes time. It always takes time. They got to develop. Yeah. You got to develop.

Just like you're like nothing like us doing the like groomsmen photos where they're trying to do the traditional poses. And like we put our. Funny. Funny. Yeah. Yeah. And Leo and I are putting our hands together.

And we're just like. We're being horrible nerds. And like we're posing out with the bridesmaids. Right. And I'm whispering like little do they know we've been practicing for 10 years. Right. Like all these stupid poses. Okay.

Now freestyle pose. And everyone's like all right. Pick your JoJo. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah. And you know. We do JoJo.

And I bet you the guys like okay. Do without a game. Pose you like. Yeah. Okay. Now all the groomsmen. It's like all the groomsmen take a knee and then we're on your knees. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. That was great. Of course it's going to happen. And another groomsman is not familiar. Like familiar with a little bit of anime but not really familiar with JoJo. He's like JoJo sorry. What?

I'm like just pretend you're a gay fashion model. And he's like oh okay. Yeah. And he did it. And he nailed it. And he nailed it. You are fabulous. Go.

You are fabulous. Go. Done. Yeah. And also just last thing. Thanks all you guys for generous gifts towards the end of the night. Thank you very much. Willie had a great little.

Great little. Get yourself something nice. Yeah. Something was slipped in my pocket. And Liam especially, Leanna loves the gift you gave us. I'm glad she liked it. It was really really nice. Especially the, well I'll just say it.

You got us like a deluxe package at a spa. Yeah. This is very very nice. I think you, I thought you'd like it. She's a spa. Crazy so. That's good. I'm glad.

I'm glad. I'm sorry it wasn't the 12 liter coke fridge you guys asked for. But we got it anyway. But you got it anyway. Someone got us a little mini fridge that was on a registry. There's only three things that were on the registry. We're like yeah! Coke fridge!

What would you have done if you had got multiple coke fridges? Buy more coke. That's right. One of you would get one. That's weird. But I hope you enjoy all the stuff together. Yeah. No.

Too much chocolate already. There you go. There you go. No. It was an Italian wedding through and through. And the rumors I've heard about them have been confirmed. Legendary. It's totally confirmed.

100%. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, where do we roll through there? The whole rest of this podcast is going to see ruin. What are you doing this week? Meaningless.

Well, first of all. Well, I have like two or three meaningless people. Yeah. No, you go on the meaningless first. That makes more sense. Welcome to the Super Best Friendcast, episode 117. Yes. Of course.

It's impossible to ignore that at least some of us are adults at this point. So depending on how you view the podcast, it may be ruined forever. Liam, do you have a bit that you would like to ignore? Yeah. Good. That's great. Good. Good.

All right. Because there's no, there's nothing significant. Yeah. It was a joke. It was a joke. I threw it twice and you rightfully caught me on being a shit about it. You know what's an interesting fact about 117? Nothing.

There's no characters of significance in anything related to anything we do. Well, it's not that. It's not that fancy, but it is a prime number. Oh. Okay. Yeah. I think. There's nothing revolving around video games that has anything to do with 117.

What was in Vault 117? Something. Something. No. It's fine. Possibly no people. Yeah. But yeah.

And then I'm going to look it up and it's like, oh, that's the best one. It's your favorite. It's as boring as the name John. There's just, there's nothing about it that's interesting. Yeah. Okay. That's why I call everyone John like Joe, Jimmy, Jam, Jimmy, Jam, Joe, Joe, Shabbat. Like every time.

Yep. Because it's like, hey. So do you have a bit? The purpose was to taint all supplies of the residents, which would infect them and turn the survivors into mindless blood-vomiting abominations. Meanwhile, the Vault staff would be given fresh food and would safely observe the behavior of the abominations. Also, did you say John on purpose, Willie?

I had nothing. What are you talking about? Because isn't John Master Chief's name and he's number 117? It's literally what I've been dancing around the entire time. Okay. Thank you. I was trying to just blast back. Okay.

Thank you. Because it's the most obvious thing that works. I know that. Halo Man has a name. 117. It happens to be Halloween. It's as culturally significant a story. Bitfail.

What did you do with your week? Let's keep going, Matt. Matt's got some mental. I was finally allowed to play Darksiders 2 Definitive Edition after having one of the most confusing launches. Who denies you? The publisher and the developer and GameFAQs. It's conflicting because it seems like they just got shipped out later or something.

Every single social, been a social media, whatever, says this game is coming out in the 27th on PSN and Xbox One. And on PSN, it did not exist. No entry after weeks of there being an entry to pre-order the game. I remember talking to you about it and you're like, it's telling me that the game is out, but the game is not out. So apparently retail, it went out. We don't get it because Quebec language shipping problems.

Oh, they did that shit again? When you went to Best Buy or whatever, it says we have not received this because it did not move for five months. I got it from a store yesterday in town. So it may be shipped later, but on the 30th, or the day before it wasn't out, so eventually on the 30th, which seems to be the day where all week it was available as a game in which you can buy on the Xbox One store, but when you go to the price, it would just say unavailable and just be a grayed out box.

That's my favorite. Fortunately, this is a problem no one will ever have to suffer through again for this. Do you mean to say there's nothing here? There was nothing there. On the Xbox Store when there's something available? It wasn't that. There's nothing here. Something happened.

Something happened. Not quite sure. But I'm playing that, and that is not the definitive. Are you playing on the PS4? No, I'm playing on the Xbox One. I'm not sure how it performs across all things. I never saw any articles. Do you know if there's any of that?

I know people were saying the performance wasn't as good as you'd hope. But I don't know the details. It has not unlocked anything transitioning from some areas. I just saw some of the worst, just the game stopped, and then it can't drink. Not anything happening. I'm in a tight corridor, and death is just suspended in midair and drops down. That was in the original game, too, because that was their fix for how do we load stuff. That was in the PC version.

We only have four months to ship the game. Which was totally bad. When you're fighting, though, I haven't seen any problems, so that's pretty good. And I was telling Liam earlier that whenever you enter any menu, it destroys the music in the game. Yeah, you mentioned that. The music is unlistenable. There's been a bunch of weird menu bugs in games, though, the past little while. Is that Witcher 3 bug, where you'd become covered in water coming out of the menu?

I think it's a coincidence more than anything. There's still a Batman bug, where rain would disappear coming out of the menu. I think it's one of those things that they consider last priority. I guess. But now I'm actually playing Dark Siders 2, and I got through the intro section when the game originally came out. And I was just like, ah, that seems fine, I'll play it later. And I never did. Now I'm actually playing, I've played about five hours of it.

I like it quite a bit. There's still problems. I could say that almost everything, aside from its combat, is just like a Zelda game. Just not amazing in any way. It's like Zelda with Prince of Persia. Yeah, but not even as good as that would be. Something that's really disappointing is all the music so far I've listened to is just the most unmemorable, nothing music. Really? Because the soundtrack is quite good.

And there's some particularly good, really strong tracks in the game too. Maybe I need to get later. It's by Jasper Kitt. Yeah, which I know is either Jasper Kitt or whatever. But I'm still enjoying it, and it's definitely better than the first. The combat is so much better. It's so open that you can just do almost anything. The combat is really good.

And just do whatever you want. The only thing is that fuck no hold button or press button to lock on. You have to hold it the entire time. And the way that Darksiders uses all of its buttons and how every button plus multiple buttons triggers something, it's incredibly hard for me at least to be locked onto a character and have access to all of them. It's the same as Devil May Cry. It's like holding lock on, holding backwards and hitting triangle to do a move. Oh yeah, no, I know.

No soft lock and no toggle option. But that was something that I was glad to see go. I like to have the hard lock as an option, but I also want a pretty good decent soft lock. The game has nice options. Do you want to auto collect all your loot? Or do you want to be able to pick it up and whatever? And that's a thing you can toggle. And that's great.

I don't use auto loot because I'm like, is this even worth anything? But it just strikes me as odd because the way you do your special moves is that then you have to hold LT, LB. LT is to lock. LB is to hold down your button that all your face buns then become your specials. Whatever they are, like a combat special or a buff or whatever. And that becomes incredibly awkward, but it hasn't really led to me having any real problems. It's just kind of annoying. And the only other thing is death.

Death is so stupid. Everyone's like the least interesting of the four. He's least interesting, but he's death. And there's sections where I'm like, I'm death. How is this bug hurting? And there's no, maybe you can read me from wrong. He means physical critter. There's no cutscene saying death.

You are now d-rank. We took all your shit away. War had that. Not that I can recall. I played most of the game with no audio because that game didn't get polished. They just one day went from a build to gold master. Okay. So the audio really exists for a very long time.

War restricted everything. You're basically, you have to work your way up to be like, what can you even be called a horseman? And it was good because when you met guys, they would always be like, ah, the horsemen have been the narks of the universe for years. Making us not have our fun. You were the best, but now you're shit. Ha, ha, ha. And no one is saying that to death. They're all like, oh shit, it's death.

Let's fight. But two big spikes that death can cleanly. And usually video game logic is pretty good. Like this is too big. They made this wall too huge. Your character can't go through it. There's things that death is almost skeletal. I can fucking walk through this.

War is big and beefy. I get that. And like they, they were able to do that. But there's like these, these doors. He's great. And you can literally, he can just literally turn himself to the side and go through. Or there's like something that's just out of his reach. And I'm like, I need to probably level up and I need to get like a double jump and all that.

Yeah. But that's the thing that kind of breaks me, that kind of breaks my immersion a bit when you're literally the four horsemen. And then how strife in theory are so garbage that someone will just go, here's strife's pistol because that's all our horsemen is. That character's unique primary weapon. Is a gun. Is your sub weapon. That war also. Well, war had a different person.

Well, he was supposed to do guncat of this stuff. Yeah, obviously. Which is awesome. And I know that it's hard. You can't, how do you supposed to have a character? He has a weapon. Are you supposed to have a character that's famine? Pestilence.

And pestilence. And I was always like, yeah, no, it's tough. But if I really thought about it like, he's a magic user. He drains your health. He's more of a mage type thing. And maybe that's not what they wanted. I was always the angriest about the lack of famine because I think famine's the coolest of all the horsemen. Like go look at, for famine and pestilence, go look at like Warhammer 40k or Warhammer.

There's a chaos god that's the god of disease. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the coolest shit in the universe. No. Fucking radical. And it's awesome because it reminds you how important the fucking crops were back then where you would equate famine with death and pestilence and everything. If you want to do famine, you can't make death look skeletal because famine should look skeletal. But with flesh still there.

But that's just death's core, what his model looks like. It's like when he gets his stand, it's this cool reaper and that's fine. Does anyone know if the dearth of progression blockers have been fixed? I've gotten none so far. Not sure. I remember you had one. What was yours? I dodged two barely and there were puzzles involving moving this golem across fire and if you left them on one side, you would just never be able to finish it.

I know that bug fixes were a thing on this. I barely missed those and the one that I got was like in the middle one you get to the death zone or whatever. I got to one of those little dungeons and you fight a bunch of guys and you kill them and the door opens. Door refused to open. It took me maybe 20 attempts and reloads before that door opened and then I went to an arena and then another dungeon and it happened again and that's when I put that game down. It was the most disappointing thing ever. The game looks really good though. Visually it looks sharp and it looks like it has a very cool look.

That was one of the things they improved for this version because it was made by a collection of the original developers so they still had the original art and now they don't have to compress it as hard. While it doesn't perform as well as I'd like, I think visually it still looks quite pleasing. To be fair, the PC release day one also looked pretty good. It looked good but it also had weird framerate issues. The main thing was stuttering and you'd be running at 60 frames a second. Why does it look like a jittery mess? Because the frame timing is all messed up in that engine or something. That was the one I worked on.

There was no time to polish that game. It sucks and that shouldn't be an excuse but it shipped like this or it literally wouldn't have shipped at all. I'm glad it shipped. In terms of not shipping. It's still a pretty good game. A lot of cut and it's rough. That being said, it's still like a double huge bummer now that this is not a top version. Does it have any bloody palace style challenge?

Yes, absolutely. It's a physical location in the world that you go to. It's almost a literal bloody palace. And this version has all the DLC inserted into it. Other than that, I continued playing Prince of Persia, Forgotten Sands on my video. I didn't talk about that much but there's only two things about the game. I actually dislike and everything else is just great. It depends on your mileage but you can save midway in a level.

You drink water, right? You turn off your system, that save doesn't count and you get booted back. You should just put it on sleep then. I know but sometimes the batteries are just running out. Suspend, that's a suspend save. Yeah, so it's fine but some levels are a little longer than others. Some of the levels are a little bit tougher. So I'm like, ah, fuck, alright.

Another thing about that game is that the story is just the most incomprehensible. I don't understand. It's not bad. It's per se, it's just, yeah, there's a guy somewhere. You're being taunted by a force that I still have not quite seen yet. Go save the four fairies and then fight the guy. I invented time travel. Really enough, the DS version of the game is like edgier in the sense that the Prince of Persia

is about to get his stomach cut open by a group of blood ritual mages and he just bursts out of the chains and goes, I need to get revenge on them. That's the DS cutesy story. I was going to say that one looks a lot like cuter and stuff, right? Yeah, but the story is like just fucking guys who sacrifice me. Like Shibi? Yeah. Like what?

Like Shibi R. Shibi, yeah, more or less, yeah. Super SD. Wow. It's very weird. Because on the DS they couldn't do high detail models and stuff like shit. I guess. But the cutscenes are more realistically proportioned and he's chained up to a wall

and guys are making potions. It's weird. And yeah, no, I guess. No, thank God the core gameplay is really good or else it wouldn't hold up. And I'm watching a bunch of X-Files again just because. And like Pat's been watching Star Trek, I watch X-Files in a very specific way. Is this episode about UFOs? I don't care.

Is this episode about Mulder finding his sister? I don't care. Oh no! Holy shut up. The whole Mulder fucking storyline is like the fucking alien pregnancy shit. Like the smoking man and the fucking three young men and all that shit. I want Mulder power bombing a Chupacabra. I want him fighting monsters and knocking out sludge guys.

It's because I was always looking for the cowboy bebop vicious episodes. Yeah, but in X-Files, those vicious episodes are terrible. They're fucking trash. I'm sure there's some that are good and whatever, but I really enjoy the more the dumber ones. I enjoy the ones that are scully. You're arguing with 14-year-old me, so I have no defense. But I just remember liking the ones that were like, oh, it's part of the storyline, so now I'm really listening. So are you just skipping them like raw?

Well, sometimes I watch a Mulder storyline thing, but I really like the ones where it's an interesting monster or whatever. And as you go on and you watch it and we're just skipping around, but as you go on, there's some episodes, I'm like, oh my god, they so know and that's great. And it was just Mulder arguing with Scully. Ah, shocker. And he goes, well, listen, Scully, how many cases have you solved with science? I don't know about you, but I'm right. Pretty much this is verbatim.

I'm pretty much right 98% of the time. Remember when we fought that monster? And she goes, Mulder, there's a multitude of reasons why any of this has happened. And I think that case you're referring to, we were drugged. And he goes, I punched out a sludge monster. And then she's like, Mulder, Mulder, Mulder. And then there's an episode where there's a genie and Mulder gets three wishes and Scully gets to perform an autopsy on an invisible man. And she starts marking out and calls everyone from Harvard to come see the invisible man.

And she's doing the autopsy. And then because of wishes, the body disappeared and all the Harvard guys are like, where's the body at? And she's like, oh, shit. And then she's like, oh, I guess I must have dreamed it. Mulder's like, you fucking mean things. You were there. You took pictures of the body because she doused it with a powder to see it. And she's just like, I don't know what I saw.

I have not seen nearly as much X-Files as you have. It's amazing. I've only seen five to 10 episodes. It's probably the next on my list of marathon. Oh, please do. But the one episode that I did see that I think sums this up perfectly. It's one of my favorite things ever is where they're fighting the vampires. And they get attacked by the vampires.

And the whole time, Scully is saying, Mulder, these people are not vampires. You're being a crazy asshole. Until it ends up with a scuffle in which Mulder kills him with a steak with a heart. No, no. The episode starts with that. And then they give you the storyline. They go up to the guy and they touch his mouth and his fucking fangs fall off because they're cheap Halloween fangs. And Scully is like, you fucking Mulder!

You fucking killed this guy with a fucking steak! And Mulder goes, no, in some mythologies vampires don't have teeth at all, but they're still vampires. Shut up. And then he's just, he's watched too many movies and he wants to be the full vampire. And then the stinger at the end of the episode is like the guy back at X-Files Base where he was doing the autopsy. X-Files Base!

I don't know. X-Files Base. The FBI! Yeah, whatever. X-Files Base. Monaco! He's doing the autopsy on the steak victim and he pulls the steak out and his body disappears. Yeah. And then he's like, oh, what are you doing to him? Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson is in that episode as like the sheriff.

And when Scully meets him, Scully gives her version of the vampire story. He's like this beautiful, like, you know, really suave sort of sheriff and he likes Scully a lot. He's like, well, Agent Scully, like what do you think we should do? Mm-hmm. And when Mulder tells a story, the man suddenly has buck teeth. He's like, oh, what are you doing? And then Scully's like, what the fuck, Mulder?

That didn't happen. He's like, shut up. It's my story. Anyway, I'm having fun with that. And now I was of a huge flub. I now call them Muldy and Sculler. Sculler? Yeah, as a kid, always.

I never did now, but I was like... What about Muldy and Sculler? No, Nully from Reboot. Oh, no, no, no. It was Scuzzy and Fax Modem. Scuzzy, yeah. Scuzzy and Fax Modem. No, no, Scuzzy is the fucking...

No, it's Nully. It's Nully and Fax Modem. I remember Fax Modem because... I thought you loved Reboot. Yeah. He doesn't. What the fuck were they doing? I don't know.

Anyway, I'm having fun with that, so there you go. So, like, I've also been watching some stuff, so I guess this falls in. So, Matt, you said you skip all the fucking conspiracy and baby alien episodes. Yeah. I recently paused. Are you getting to your week? Oh, yeah, I'm getting to my week. Well, we gotta do some sponsors.

Oh, I'll take a quick word from a sponsor, then. Do you know what the theme is this week, Woolly? Do I? Wait, it's months. It's months. He doesn't know. The theme of this month's Loot Crate... Sounded unconfident.

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You open up the crate and all the candles in your apartment just blow out. But it just tilts towards the box a little bit. Chris Benoit steps out. All of these things. All of these things are what... Who knows? Who knows, right? But these are the types of things.

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And after going through villains and... Time. And what not. Horse. It's about... Horse was still my favorite month. We get a theme that like speaks to my soul. Yeah.

You want to get that box and you want to see Scorpion's thingy come right through it. Come, you want to dodge that. Yeah, exactly. You open the box. What is that thingy? Get over here. The spear. The spear.

The spear. The spear. The back forward thingy. Yeah, back forward thingy. So, yeah, we know that this combat themed month has items from Blizzard, Fallout, Capcom and a couple other special secrets in store. Secret combatants. We can't even know?

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Again, lootcrate.com, slash super, promo code super. If you want to get in on the combat box, you have till the 19th of this month at 9 p.m. Pacific. That's a good box. Good box. I like to sound that out box. Can't wait for that box. Thanks, Luke Craig.

Thank you, Luke Craig. Thank you. Go ahead. So, there's also a type of TNG episode that you need to skip, and it's every episode that Leslie appears in. Yes. Once he has gone to Starfleet, like he's in so many of the early ones that you can't get away from him.

You can't. But when he comes back, every time he comes back, it's the worst. There's the two in particular. There's the game one. There's the, there's the, sorry, three in particular. There's a game one. There's a cool idea of Rune by Will Wheaton, because fuck him. The second one is the whole time is like, uh-oh, we fucked up and killed someone at school.

Let's all hide it like cowards. I don't, I don't know how to do that. They're trying to do the fucking shuttle maneuver. That's all fancy. Oh. And they fucking kill the other guy, and it comes out that they all pressured him into doing it. It's like, oh, we should do this, guys.

And then there's the Native American one. And that dude fucking dies. And Picard's like, you're fucking liar. You fucking shit. And he's like, fuck him. Uh, and then there's the Native American one, which is, okay, Star Trek delves into a lot of, uh, themes that are just pure metaphors for, for stuff. This is about the oil crisis.

This is about global warming. This is about racial segregation. But the fucking Native American planet on the border of the, like that fucking episode is so bad. It's so obvious. When I first went by the description of that, it felt so weird. Like there's Native Americans in the 24th century. And they're exactly as they are now.

And they're exactly as they were, like, not even now. No cultural variation at all in 300 years, despite a nuclear apocalypse that happens in the Star Trek universe. And the ending of that episode is probably the worst thing I've ever seen in Star Trek, except for Voyager, because we're not even going to go there, is, like, Wesley just tells everyone, hey, everybody, they're trying to move you off the planet. What a bunch of dicks. You know, he's being a huge traitor.

And everyone freaks out and says, Wesley, you're a piece of shit. You need to follow orders. You fuck. And then Wesley goes off to the magic traveler, and then he just teleport into infinity. And that's how Wesley Crusher leaves the show. He phases out of existence into a higher plane of being. To wherever. To warp heaven.

And the next time he appears is in one of the movies. And they're like, hey, Wesley, should we talk about how you've ascended? No. Fucking good riddance. Don't let the turbo lift hit your ass on the way out. Yeah. So I'm watching DS9 now. Good.

Again. Because DS9 had the worst trade-off of anything ever. Because you went from season six and seven of TNG, which are happening, simultaneous, to seasons one and two of DS9. So right away, that's not fair. No. You're like, season seven of TNG is not the best. But season six is pretty good.

And you have Data and Jordy and all those guys. And who the fuck is the... O'Brien. Who the fuck is Major Kira? Well, actually O'Brien. O'Brien is the one guy that is a big carry over. Who the fuck is Major Kira? Who the fuck is this Odo?

It was just a data replacement. It was just a Spock replacement. Because you need your weird, emotionless person on the team. Quark is radical as fuck right away. Like, Quark is the only Ferengi that I can watch. But that first season is fucking totally, like, not worth watching right up until the one right before the end. It's an episode called Duet. It's one of the best episodes of Star Trek.

And even if you don't care about that shit, you should go watch it. Because the premise is, is that, you know, Bajor... Any of you watch that shit at all? Me? Yeah, I watch it. Okay. Bajor basically just kicked out the Nazis after the Holocaust. That's the deal.

That's the setting. And a guy shows up and they find out that the guy's Hitler. That Hitler was still alive. Found out. And we have him over there. He's just right over there. And everyone's going crazy. A Danger 5?

Is that the name of the show? A Danger 5 Australian show? Yeah, that's what every episode is about. As always, kill Hitler if you see him. And it's like, wasn't Hitler dead? No, he's right there! Yeah, yeah. And it's just Hitler arguing with somebody from jail.

And he's the biggest asshole in the universe. And he's going like, oh, the Holocaust was the best shit ever! I win! And everyone's like, oh my god! Stop it! That's a little on the nose. It's a little on the nose, but like, it's the performance that does it. The problem with DS9 to me always, I didn't live up its potential because I always thought

space bar. Whatever space station, it doesn't matter. All that mattered to me is that it was a space bar. It was a community of different shit. And it never really lived up to the amount of high jinks and crazy shit. Well, okay. So when you're watching TNG, you have your main locations. You have the Bridge of the Halldeck, Ten Ford, which is rare.

And Picard's Room. Kind of. And then you have the planet. What planet? The planet. Los Angeles Backlot. The planet. Whatever, right?

Field over there. In DS9, like 90% of episodes are contained to ops, the promenade, and one of the pylon hallways that don't matter, and like a cargo bay. And later on in the series. And the laundry room. So like that really holds it down right up until Cisco shaves his head and grows the goatee. Because once he becomes, because he's not a captain, he's a commander, but once he becomes

a captain and shaves his head and does that, the character, some writing thing changed or something because he becomes crazy. He becomes violent. Like in one of the first episodes, he punches Q in the face. Like that's the difference. Come on. No, because Q's dancing around like an old Irish standee boxer. What are you going to do?

And punches him in the face. Who wouldn't punch Q in the face? Picard? That even brings that up. He's just a card never level-minded. So the deal is, it's like, I can't go too deep into it, but season 3, 4, 5, he's crazy. There is a point where he is chasing a rebel leader and the thing is like, oh, you guys are rebels?

Fuck you. You're shits. I'm going to poison your entire planet for decades so that no life can ever live there ever. And the guy goes, you're bluffing and then Worf hits a button and they poison the entire planet for decades. And the rebel guy goes, what are you doing? You're crazy.

You're a starfleet. You're not allowed to do this. You're supposed to negotiate with terrorists all the time. Seasons 1 and 2 Cisco, let's call him Barry. He's a calm level-headed guy. But then every season- Let's call him Ben. Let's call him Ben.

And after that, he becomes a violent creature. And then he becomes Cisco Prime and it's shaft in Star Trek. And it's so fucking good. Oh no, played by B. Arthur. That show, like, if you get into it, boy, that's the worst ending to anything. It's one of those things, like, you know what I'm sure all combs answer the fist fight into the gorge? Pretty much the same thing.

You have a long-running villain that they spend like six seasons building up. What happens? A fist fight and they fall into a pit and they're gone. That's deeply unsatisfying. Neither of them are dead. They fall into like a magic portal. So they're both alive. And so everyone's like, well, maybe we'll see them again some-

No, you won't. Now we're off to find the real Mary Jane. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Then they're fighting the poor and they come out and a giant, like, thing moves over and it's just Andross. And it was him all along. Gene Roddenberry, right?

Andross. I need to talk about it because I'm gonna forget. And it's Chief O'Brien. Everybody knows Chief O'Brien. He's that dumb guy who worked at the fucking transporter chief. Oh, I wonder if he has problems with his wife again this week. Chief O'Brien at work is a hilarious comic series in which everyone realizes how useless he is.

And yes, his marriage is terrible. So I wonder if in this episode she'll talk about you should eat these traditional Asian dishes I made. You should eat these traditional Japanese things. And he's like, how about you shove that shit up your ass, woman? I'm Irish. Or eat this stupid Irish shit. I'm so Irish.

And that's the crux of their relationship. That's the crux of their relationship. So I want you... So you know how there's all these series and there's the joke about like, ha ha, like Gurren Lagan, there's Death Bitch. Right? Yes. And it's Dew Bitch.

Stuff like that, right? There's one for Deep Space Nine and it's called O'Brien Must Suffer. Okay, what's that? I don't know. And I thought that was a funny fan joke until I read an interview with the writers saying, yes, every season we had to have at least one O'Brien Must Suffer episode. What? So the writers, because O'Brien is just this kind of schmucky Irish dickhead racist

that fights with his wife all the time. Yeah, he hates Cardassians. He hates Cardassians. He hates the Spoonheads. For no reason. Well, he was at war. No, that's for no reason. And they were the Nazis.

But point being, every season there's the one episode where the worst thing that has ever happened in Star Trek happens to him. And it defies belief that it is always him. A few things of note, Rumpelstiltskin shows up to steal his daughter or blow up the whole station. He gets falsely accused of treason and has 20 years of false prison memories implanted in his mind. And then when he snaps out, everyone is just like, just get over it.

And he's like, uh, his daughter falls through a time portal and they go back to get her and locked up and she was in there for like 15 years and she becomes a totally feral beast child that they end up dumping back into the portal. Because she's too crazy. That's awesome. It's the saddest. It's the worst. It's so sad.

It's funny. Well, I always look forward to 2017 in which the new Star Trek franchise will be happening. In which the only question I have is like, what universe? Is it the Prime Universe or the Reboot Universe? No, it's not. They said it's not related to the Reboot Universe. If they kept going with the Prime Universe, that'd be cool. It's the writer of the new movies, but they're not actually one.

They got all these threads. I want to find out what happened after the Dominion War. That was crazy. Like, you know, it'd be interesting if it was the Reboot Universe, but just in the future, beyond the movies timeline. Like in the TNG timeline of that new world. I feel like that would tie the movie's hands too much. But I would like that.

We have to start the Trek cast. Yeah, we have to start it. If that thing comes out, yeah, every week. I was like, what's going on with Star Trek? Oh, it was terrible. I mean, I watched some of Voyager. I watched not a single episode of Enterprise because that Star Trek was at its lowest point. If you want podcast material, I can start watching Voyager and fill up an hour of what a fucking war criminal Janeway is.

That bitch is a war criminal. She built nukes for the Borg. Star Trek and fighting games. Yeah. That's what this is. What else do I do? I played a lot more Syndicate. Yo, Liam.

Syndicate's sick. Thanks for recommending it. I also still thought he meant other things. Yeah. It's going to throw me off. I thought you were playing the first Assassin's Creed game. I know why. I like Black Flag better.

But it's right there. So the deal with Syndicate is like it's a really good Assassin's Creed game and everybody who knows what that is knows what that is. So there's not much who's talking about it. I'm not familiar. Guide me through it. One little thumbs up. I want to give the team. First of all, I recently learned, really listening to a podcast that one of the lead designers on this is the guy who made Saints Row the Third, which makes all the posse and game mechanics in that game make a lot of sense.

But point is this game has microtransactions. Yeah. It has experienced boosters. It has maps for the special armor unlock. Ever since Black Flag, I think, they've been a standard. This is the most unobtrusive booster microtransaction DLC shit I've ever seen. Yeah. Because the number one is get more cash, get more XP.

I am currently level nine in that game. And the story's level four. And I haven't cleared out the whole map yet. And I'm drowning in hundreds of thousands of pesos or whatever they have over there. Yeah, pesos. Like pounds. They switched over last year. But not in the revolution, back when this game takes place.

You remember? You're right. Last year was pesos. In Brotherhood, where you could absolutely smash that in-game economy immediately. Oh yeah. Guess what? This thing, for the experience too. You're like, I'm going to go do a bunch of side missions.

I have completely outleveled the entire game. If you try to clear out the map, you'll... That's an assassin screen. So a word of warning here, Patrick. Do not go overboard with all the side stuff. Because just like Assassin's Creed 3, remember you said I'm burnt out and I don't even want to finish it. No, that was different. The difference is in Assassin's Creed 3, I went and got every feather right away.

And I got that... Four or two? Three. Three. Like O'Connor? Yes. Every feather in that huge wilderness right away. Why?

Because in the old version, I wanted the costume that had been unlocked. Okay. And then I was like, okay, I'm going to go hang out with George Washington. And I did that and I was like, this mission is terrible. And that's what killed it. Okay. With Syndicate, like I go, I'm going to clear out all these men, not the Helix ones. Because those are poison.

There's thousands of those. I'm going to clear out all this stuff, do all this stuff before doing the mission with Alexander Graham Bell. Oh, this is a fun mission. Oh, I'm going to go hang out with Karl Marx. Wow, you really like unions a lot, Karl Marx. Boy does he. You're going to hang out with Charles Dickens. Wow, you're completely full of shit and are chasing ghosts.

Is that real? And those... Did you do that mission where the main character, whoever you're playing as, just falls asleep and wakes up and you chase the ghost carriage around? That's a really good mission. And we played it a little bit. A little bit. Those like investigation missions, which I think are PS exclusive.

Those murder things. Those murder things. Those are better than the entirety of Soul Suspects. They're good. Without a question. In Unity, they were good too. Oh, good shame. Yeah, good game.

Good game. It's good. No, I'm still playing it too. I'm really... Sorry, just because this reminds me of something that's really similar and kind of going into maybe what Liam played this week. I want to jump back in really quickly and just say like... Jump back in. Remember how we all played Assassin's Creed and then we all skipped like one or two and then Liam played Unity and hadn't played a bunch

before that. He was like, yeah, Unity's got problems, but I like it and stuff. And we were like, no, it's the worst because we all burnt out really hard on Assassin's Creed. And this is a series that has a strong burnout. Yeah. And I played about an hour or two of Tales of Zesteria. Zesteria, yeah. And Liam is a bit more familiar with a lot of Japanese RPGs and playing a bunch of them.

And then it's been actually years since I've sat down and played one since Vesperia on the 360. And I've bought all them since then. Yeah. Graces and all the ones that they localized to the PS3, but I never played them. So I played Zesteria a bit and I really, really like it because it looks so new and shiny and all the characters are like really well proportioned. There's a very clear analog here. They're not SD anymore. And there's like all this production value that I'm not familiar with.

So I'm like, oh my God. Yeah. Oh, shit. How many hours in are you? Just two. Just two. Okay. But the new shininess of it?

Yeah. It's a very pretty game. And getting like old sound effects that I remember from my like GameCube and PS2 days, which is mostly my like, so that's all new and shiny. I'm like, oh my God. And between that and fucking Darksiders, I don't know which I'll keep continuing on. One of them. But I think it's a little similar in that where like you might have like a little bit of like sort of not fatigued. You'll just burn out on it.

And over familiarity with like a lot of Japanese RPGs and then like it's an exchange between the two. But I need to play more. Maybe it's going to be like you said where I'm like the combat becomes really like trivial and stuff and all that. But unlike Darksiders, I remember the first track in the first dungeon of the game. I remember what that sounded like. And I remember going, oh my God. I like this song. Awesome.

And there were Darksiders where I haven't really felt that yet. But I just felt like. When you get to the first major boss in Darksiders, if you're not feeling that song, then I don't know what to tell. Which was the first major boss because I thought it was what I thought it was. You'll know when you saw it. I don't actually know. He's gigantic. He's quite large.

But I didn't fight them. Like death is smaller than his foot. He's a shallow gloss of style guy. Okay. Then I'm getting close. What else? I gotta know. Where do you stand on Jacob now?

You starting to come around? So since last week, I've played the game maybe 20 hours. I think Jacob has spoken maybe four times in my game since then. And you're starting to come around? No. Because he's totally absent from my game. Because I'm making him absent from my game. Because you're just doing that though.

He must still be in like the fourth. Sequence four. And the game is not forcing you to play him that much. No. Only for the missions that are his missions. It's about 50-50 for the missions. He's fine I guess. I just don't like him nearly as much as Evie.

No. Evie can carry the game on her own. Like Evie's way better. Like I love the fact that she's the serious one. And she's responsible and all that. And then you go up to Charles Dickens. And he goes, do you guys believe in ghosts? And Jacob goes, pfft.

No. She goes, yes. Yes I do Charles Dickens. Ghosts are super real. Like what? Yeah. It's great. It's a nice twist of the care.

I need to quickly run through which of three expansion is really good. But the upgrade merchant that they give you is the most expensive, mostly useless upgrade thing I've ever played in any game ever. Ever. It cost all of the money I had gotten over the entire game to unlock the final set of upgrades and they are all terrible and bordering on useless. They use a rune resource that would be stronger

had you just manually threw it in there at random. It's terrible. And the other thing I've been doing this week as I've been stuck watching Twitch is Bob Ross and his happy little dreams. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy little logs. A lot of fucking ground swell around the rocks.

A duper good reason. The dude is exploding out raw charisma to a degree that I've never encountered. It's going to be really easy to see what decisions he makes from now on to really capitalize on this new fame that he's gotten there. I want to see what he does with this potential. Quite frankly, I think it's been capitalized to the maximum already because all it really needs to do is keep that FGC Bob Ross account going.

That's all that matters man. It's good shit. Happy little knockdowns. Yep. There's those just things as a dropped combo. Just a happy little reset. Oh my god. Oh my god.

I'm so happy now. But that's my life. That's my week. I did not get married. So it's very boring in comparison. What about you, Liam? You get married? No, not yet.

I was playing Syndicate as well. And yeah, nothing to say. How do you like the cypher pot? It's still good. Man, I love how little future there is. I love it. There's still even little there, huh? There's so little.

It's amazing. Did you get that feeling when you got to the second cut scene where they dive out of the building, where you're like, thank god that ended in 20 seconds? No, I had the total opposite reaction of like, I have a problem with that. And it's like when you're doing the London story, it's like there's this aspect of like this story has an ending in universe. I'm just watching a movie. Like there's no stakes at all because it's just going to be how it was.

It's like having the little bread crumb of like, and now here's what's really going on. Even as dumb as it was, like I actually got a lot of value out of that. Oh, okay. So seeing them totally turn away from that stuff is a huge part of me. I'm glad they did. It was nonsense after they got rid of it. After they got rid of the original story. I want it to either be backed away the way it was or have it be a pure history game with

no animus. Yeah, that's what I want now. But like we said last week, how do you do that? At the end of the day, it's the same difference. You can't ever actually just abandon it. This is the closest they can do to abandon it. In Unity, there's a main character who just dies at the end. And you're like, oh, you weren't supposed to die.

It's not too late to kill one of them at the end. I don't wish they would do that now. I don't wish they would do that now, but I wish they had done it to start with. Animus has not done anything interesting. Because I get what you're saying. You're saying because you're just playing this history thing, you know there's no stakes. But remember, this is fiction history. So you haven't experienced it just as much as any other game.

And it's this weird meta layer. It's like, I know there are no stakes to the character that I'm actually playing. That's the other bit, too, where I always did find part of the appeal was playing through the history thing, knowing that there's a secret subplot that's actually about the future. And you're trying to solve this problem for the real crisis that's coming. And now, if it's kind of like, well, what's the point of this character's story? It's like, oh, it's just the character in and of themselves in the past. And not for any secondary purpose.

There is still a secondary purpose. The Templars vs. Assassins is always going to be the second narrative. But it doesn't feel like it's towards the initial. This game is a sequel to Black Flag Story. Your character literally continues following Edward Kenway in the game. Your character's title is the Initiate, and they send them a beta kit of the new Animus or whatever. And they're like, oh, the Templars today, they found a new piece of Eden because the whole plan fell apart. I can't believe there's still this.

That it's in London. It's the only thing the series is about. You know what you should do. You should go and find the word the piece of Eden is... The in-universe thing now is you have bought the consumer Animus, right? And Liberation did the same thing where you're playing it and you're playing this like Templar propaganda, right? And then eventually some assassins start hacking it and you go to these cool cyber areas later in the game. And this is very cool.

But in this one, it's like even more shoved to the side. And you start the game up and it starts the consumer front end for the Animus. And then the logo fizzles into an assassin's logo and they're like, we're hacking, don't worry. And I'm like, no, stop hacking. I just want my consumer Animus. I totally agree. No, I'm predicting that a couple entries from now is going to back all the way off until it's just a logo at the beginning when you start the game up. And then perhaps there'll be not a reboot, but a rebranding thing where the packaging of your game implies that it's a consumer product.

But the game itself is just history. And there's nothing else to it. I'll bring Unity over one time, the disc, because I think you'd really like the front end on first boot of that game. Yeah, that's pretty cool. But Unity in particular, not Syndicate. No, I remember. I remember. I want to spoil it because you'll get a really cool kick out of it.

And it was so cool that we got pissed off. That's fair. Because it's this cool. We all understand why. It's this cool front end, which you're like, this is a fantasy. This will never happen. But it's still pretty cool. Really quick.

Here's what I would like loved in an ideal world. Three games all about Desmond, Assassin's Creed 1, what was Assassin's Creed 2 or maybe a combination of Brotherhood and Assassin's Creed 3 Connor, and have that have like whatever Desmond needed to do in the future and that be its own story. Yeah. Now, ideally, stop there. Stop and take your engine. That's crazy. No, take your engine and then do other things with it.

But if you needed to make more Assassin's Creed, then that's it. That's Desmond. Now you go to Daniel Cross. I was going to bring that. That's good too. You have three games or however you want of Daniel Cross and jump around. And I think that's a way to keep, and each one had a different problem in the future. And Daniel Cross is in a different part of the world in the future.

With different things. It's not all the things. And I think that was a way to maybe continue this without it getting so ridiculous. Daniel Cross is way cooler than this. Daniel Cross is the coolest fucker in Assassin's Creed. But what's funny is that because I was going to bring this up last week when we were talking about it, the whole thing with Assassin's Creed when it first got announced, I remember it was like, oh, spiritual successor to Prince of Persia. Okay, this is interesting.

Not realizing like annual franchise was anywhere in the air. At the time it was. Yeah. So it was just a thought that it would be like, okay, we're probably going to get maybe three of these, maybe four. And that'll be the end of the generation. And then you start the new thing. Right. But it has continued on.

It turned into to take Liam's coin this week. A Giga franchise. Yeah. Right. A Cho Ginga franchise. Basically. That there's no backing to go away for a while. And like the decision to...

As long as every other year they can churn out a great one, it's never going away. It'll never go, never completely. Like they need like three years of tear, like worse than unity. Exactly. And like, and I think that like instead of ever getting a full on like transition or spiritual successor, you'll get something like Watch Dogs, which is like a maybe you guys like this. No, okay. Back to Assassin's Creed.

Yeah. And it'll continue to be that way. There's a couple dream ones where it's like, Russia would be nice. Japan would be cool. Future Montreal would be nice. But then there's all the middle stuff where you're like... Well, here's the thing. But quite frankly, but wouldn't at this point, considering the whole like major initial story is all fucked up

and they're in like almost like damage control mode. Yeah. Wouldn't it just make more sense to make a new franchise entirely? Well, one of those things... That keeps the idea of... Not if you're going to, not if putting a new name on it is going to drop three million units of sales. Sales. Of course.

But that's what I mean. They tried that. I know they can't. I know they can't. And that's the screenshots of the game that was in ancient Egypt. And you'd be fighting Colossi. And he was using the Assassin's Creed engine. And that got all kind of canceled.

And people thought it was a new Prince of Persia. But he was using whatever Assassin's Creed, whatever, whatever, Rat, Anvil, whatever the engine is. Well, I knew a guy who like played it a little bit. I also knew a guy that played it. And he was telling me how it wasn't like it wasn't working out. Yeah. So like it was not even going. But it's still the coolest sound you think ever.

But then Watch Dogs is the real answer. Which is like, that was the one. Maybe. That would have been. Yeah. And it really worked out. And maybe wait for Watch Dogs to see if they can do the AC2 jump. Who knows.

The fact that we didn't see one this year is a good sign. I'm trying to sneak in there. You're trying in my section of the leak. No. I'm sorry. This is my demand. Well, it's about size. I just want to say something.

Maybe it's really dismissive. But like the next Assassin's Creed doesn't interest me already. Because the way that they've been jumping to places and time periods. Like they've moved forward in time. A lot. Like 700 years. And they went back like 50 for Black Flag, I think. But like eventually they're going to be scraping up against like the 1920s.

Yeah. Which like then all those design problems. Things become less interesting. And all those weird contrivances like the hood. Start to just really become problems. In canon reasons for not having cars. There are. So.

Because. Incinicate. The carriages are great. They're great. They're really good. They're one of the better vehicles. Okay. Yeah.

Because in canon, animus reasons for not having cars is because your brain shuts down. Yeah. And there's not enough data. Because when you do mundane tasks, the animus has a hard time picking that up. Well, they've been working on the animus. They could have went around it. The carriages work good. The carriages are legitimately fun to drive.

And I think part of the reason is because the wheels are so squirrely. But when you take a hard turn on the carriage, it really feels like it's going to tip over. Like one of the wheels comes way off. It's cool. The cobblestone. You're describing it like how boats were in three. No. It's like the boat is fine.

But it's got a different feeling. And it's not nearly as in depth either. But it's fine. It's very simple. Yeah. But ultimately if they put cars in, they're going to get rid of the ramp. The side ramp feature. Now that being said, you call up a cart of rooks and get in that thing.

And once you've gotten them to a certain point, you just do two straight up drive-bys in that game. Well, there's situations where you'll get into a cart with a buddy, right? And then some guy will jump off a building onto the back of your cart to pull you off. And you'll get up and you'll fight the guy on the back of the cart while your guy keeps driving. Okay. And then maybe someone else will swing up and you'll jump onto their cart and kill them and take their cart and just keep going. And it actually works.

That sounds like a hyper scripted moment. No, no, no. It actually works. Okay. Like it's really surprising. You're right that it sounds scripted. But there's actually, I don't think any of the story missions involve like jumping from vehicle to vehicle. Like what happens is when you're driving fast, you hit L1 and your character gets up and gets on the roof.

And the horse will follow the street and just do it. There's a little bit of incident already, but I'm really waiting for Assassin's Creed spirit tracks. Yeah. That's the one we all need to train. The only actual console one, if they announce it as the next one, I'm like, okay, no, I'll get it and I'll try it. But we're not going to get it because it's already been wasted, which is, yeah, Assassin's Creed Russia. But one of the 2D ones is Assassin's Creed Russia. Yeah.

So we're not going to get... I'm tired of talking about it. No, it's got to be like Japan or Future Montreal. We've said it so many times that I'm just tired of talking about it. What about Japan and Future Montreal? I'm just saying those are the two cities where I'm like, yeah. No, I mean both. Oh, both of them.

They're fantastic. And they're in the one game. It'd be amazing. I would prefer a game that was two half size Assassin's Creed in two different cities. Wouldn't that be great? But it would be double the work almost. Yeah, double it. You know.

Cloud Atlas it. I played a bit of Corpse Party. I'm still not quite done. But there's a section where you get to in the game where you finish, like, you conclude the situation to a degree and you finish the chapter and then a second opening plays. And it's really cool. There's a new song and a new opening. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's so good. And then you're like, okay, now we deal with the second problem. Sounds familiar. Is the second problem, like, significantly bigger of a problem than the first one? Yes. Oh, significantly. So the first game is from, like, I don't even know. Early 90s.

A million years ago. The first game is quite old. It's by the same writer, but he clearly wants to do different things with it. So there's a big tone change near the end and it's not scary anymore. There's nothing scary about it. It's a different thing now and it's really cool. You beat Seth Ski and Rageo steps out of the limo. Basically.

Yeah, okay. That's basically where it's at. It's really, really cool. It's still a bunch of technical problems, but whatever. Like, it's not like I need to... Like, you don't need to aim or anything. You're just running around in top-down, so it doesn't bother me too much. I still haven't finished it, but I'm very keen to.

The game that pulled me away from it, actually, speaking of technical problems, was Borderlands 2, which every version of the game got a patch this week, which is crazy, because it came out... Did the PC version get one? I think so. I think so. I think that's the only one that might not have, because that got more patches over time. Because only other versions got a patch, right, this week? Yeah, which is crazy, because that game's two years old.

Are these the original versions, or are these, like, the re-released ones? Well, on PS4, it is. The 360 version is patched. Yeah, absolutely. As far as my understanding of that thread on the internet went, yes. Yeah, because the re-released versions are the only versions on PS4 and Xbox One. But it's everybody everywhere. Everybody got a patch.

With possible exception of PC, but it would be fine. Yeah, I'm not sure. The Vita version is the only one I own, so I was like, I'll give it a go. And it got its own different patch with different fixes and stuff. And, like, they kinda did it. It's good. It runs like a real video game now. Pretty much.

Pretty much. And, like, you know, areas like Sanctuary, where, like, Sanctuary is the central, like, town, I guess. It has by far the most simultaneous NPCs. It's where all your shops are. Yeah. And, like, a bunch of high-res textures that need to be high-res or you lose readability. That area still performs the worst, like, around 20... It performs the worst on everything.

Does it? Yeah! I actually didn't know that. Well, it's... No, it makes sense. It's for the reasons you're describing. It makes sense, exactly. Like, I know on PC, if, like, you know, if I had it done too crazy with, like, you know,

dynamic resolution or something like... Okay, this area runs at 55 frames, whereas the rest of the game is a thousand or something like that. But, yeah. I don't blame the handheld version for struggling with that area. Yeah. So, like, that area still runs, but it runs better than it did in the old version, actually. And I started a new game as Axton, the Commando, who I never played as before. Is he?

Because I played as Gage before, and I thought Gage was really fun. His move is just so good. It's so huge. Then the turn is so good. It's really strong. Granted, that's a personal opinion. I never played any other characters. Oh, okay.

There you go. Just the turret ability of just, like, I'm getting my ass whooped. Throw the turret out. That's why, like, Gage, because you get a turret that moves around and does melee attacks. Yeah. No, I like that one a lot. So, I played as Axton for, like, four hours from the beginning to four hours into the story, not doing side missions, because I already have another post-game character.

And, like, the early bits of the game all runs pretty near 30. Like, it runs, like, it runs well. Like, it's a good handle. That's really impressive, especially considering most of the game in terms of geometric complexities. More or less the same. Yeah. Like, you know, that early Tundra area, like, you go later, so it's a desert area. It's a forest area that has no trees.

It's around a little bit. Stuff like that. And I loaded up my post-game character, Mechromancer. Yeah. And I went to some of the later areas, like Iridium Blights and stuff. And, like, yeah, when you get five, six enemies on screen and you've got your shotgun that shoots rockets And all the little peer-to-peer views on all the numbers. Yeah, it dips back down to, like, around 20 for better, you know, up or down a little bit.

But that's what you could expect from, like, a console version. But, like, yeah, very, very much playable, at very least. Like, rumors of its unplayability are greatly exaggerated. Well, they are now. Especially now, exactly. So, you know, if you have a copy lying around that came with your Vita. And you were like, eh, eh, eh, I don't need to download this. Maybe give it a swing.

It's now impressive and pretty good. That game must still be selling. Right? Like, I remember, like... For them to do a patch with a different developer, like... Well, I still remember when, like, going into, like, Destiny topics and people going like, ah, Destiny isn't doing it for me, I want more loot. And the suggestion was go buy Borderlands 2.

Like, even after all this time. How to fix Destiny's loot problem by a different game. Go buy a different game. Yeah. I'm doing something weird, because I just bought the Tales of the Borderlands thing. That's weird. And I'm going to jump in the air and see what's up. You're not plugged into the rich narrative of games.

But it's not really plugged into Fable, either. Actually, that's not true. Oh, yeah? No, I've read most of, if not almost all, Fable. Oh, well, then The Walking Dead. But I've read Walking Dead as well. The Minecraft. But I haven't played that.

Oh, okay. The point is, Liam, I've, no, I've done, I know the Telltale stuff. Like, but I know that from reading Fable, it doesn't matter if you didn't read it. And, like, with that, if that's the similar case here. With that in mind. It shouldn't be too bad. It should be fine. And of course, if it's awesome enough, I can and always would go back to actually playing

the first two proper Borderlands games. But, you know, like, after hearing from you that apparently it's a solid thing. Yeah, no, the game is fine. And I was looking for another, like, you know, well, I'm not going to say Telltale. I'll say I don't nod like Adventure Games. Right, yeah. If only they were don't nod like Adventure Games. Exactly.

But no, go ahead. No, that said, I played those games and they sucked up most of my week. Okay. I just did miscellaneous stuff otherwise. Oh, I watched Kung Fury. What a terrible way to waste a half hour. Yeah. What a, has anyone here seen it?

No. I put it on my wish list to watch later on Netflix because I saw it was added to Netflix. And for people that don't know, because I, we've received a lot of messages over the last couple of months about you guys must love Kung Fury. And when the first trailer came out, it was really like, I was super into it. The Kickstarter trailer. It was very cool. I was super into it for the first, like, minute and then when it showed, like, riding triceratopses

in the past and fighting Hitler, I'm like, no, it's too much in a direction that I just want Miami connection, samurai cop, silly stuff based in a dumb town. And it went too far. So I never watched the full version made by a team of 30 somethings who love the 80s and one time searched epic meme on Google and laughed really hard. So my hope is that the full version. So you're saying it's a dank movie? Go on, Matt.

My hope is that the full version would be better or something and pan out, but you're saying not really. It's worse in the trailer. Like, you're going down it and you're just like, okay, so Hitler's Hitler's the antagonist because Hitler, uh, laser unicorn is a thing because laser wasn't really that active during the 80s. I haven't looked at the history books lately. Why is Hitler there?

Because of Wolfenstein 3D. Because he's Hitler. Come out in the 80s. I don't think. Cool villain to have. See what I'm saying. All I've seen is the first villain is a walking arcade cabinet who holds up middle fingers at people.

Okay. The, like, it's just, it's just, and then like dinosaurs because, oh, laser raptors. Oh, that's an epic meme we can shove in there. Like, because the thing is the, uh, just say, man, yeah, that's good. The first trailer was pretty cool and then the Dave Lihasselhoff bit was pretty cool too. Oh, the Hasselhoff bit was terrible. The music video I thought was weird.

No, no, sorry. In the movie. I don't know what he does in the movie. He's driving his car and it's like, it's like the fucking Kit 9000 or whatever it's called. At least that's an 80s thing. They've got the Hoff 9000. No, exactly.

That's fine. Oh, wow. But it's Hoff 9000. You're like, okay, that's a little on the nose that it's the Hoff 9000, but whatever. 92. And then they're talking through it and there's this, like, four or five line exchange that culminates in the joke, don't Hassel the Hoff. And it's like, way to waste having David Hasselhoff there.

Burn the orphanage. Going for a thing didn't quite pull it off. What was the other movie with the thing, whatever boy? What was it? Turbo Kid. Turbo Kid. Holy fuck. I think this thing went for its thing and nailed it, but I'm not into Epic Mems being

the main theme of the movie. Like Turbo Kid. But when you look at the Turbo Kid trailer, you see that and you're like, that wasn't really that. And you look at, what was the other one? We just burned the orphanage. Yeah. And also, I read that a few weeks ago.

I think that's just a con. So, okay. That's so great. Yeah, you see what it's like. But like when you get to the end of the Kung Fui trailer, it's like, yeah, you see the dinosaurs and you see the lasers and you see the Viking woman. And it's like, they achieved being like their meme movie that they wanted. Any of these things that you have just mentioned live up to the strafe Kickstarter pitch?

No. No. Okay. And that's the problem I had when I saw Kung Fui. That trailer. And I went, oh, that's a cool trailer that someone made. Trailer's better. And then I went, and then I've learned that that would was becoming a real project and

went, oh, no, don't do that. So, okay. I obviously haven't seen it myself, but based on what you're saying now, we've confused people again in the same way we did with Azura's Wrath, where it's like, but you guys should love this. Right? And it's like, but there's a way to do it right in a way to do it. No, the thing is, is we should love it, but we're literally just snobs.

Oh, well, there's that too. For garbage. That's right. That's right. No, but. There are garbage snobs. But, but it's just, you know, there is, and any of these things though, there's definitely a way to do over the top right and a way to do over the top wrong.

There are, there are six bits of Azura's Wrath that I really like. But if you watch this movie, it's very clear that it's something you wouldn't like. It's almost that. It's like, I should check it out myself to see. No, you shouldn't be able to say the same thing. It's part like, I guess you, I guess you should. Let's make a jokey 80s thing. Doesn't work like that.

If you plan to make it, you'll almost never succeed. Samurai cops succeeded because they thought they were making the best thing possible. One of the, one of the main problems of the movie is, is the movie's not just being a jokey 80s thing. It's also like, it is rife with like what feels like, I can't describe it as anything, but lull so random humor. Internet culture stuff. And it's like, like outdated stuff.

And it's like. You should watch the Smosh trailer movie. You should watch the trailer for the Smosh movie. That thing is. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They used to be ahead of the curve.

You know what's over the top? Over the top. That is over the top. Just a long. Oh. He's got an arm wrestle of these truckers. So his son will love him. Son love him again.

Never heard of it. Oh, there's also a small cash. That's a real movie. Here's the poster. There's also a small cash prize involved. All right. That's a cool poster. It's a really good poster.

Should we watch that movie? I'd put that up. Is it worth watching? Guess what? The final scene is. It's the loan. And there's another guy. And this guy's really big.

And they're arm wrestlers. Yeah. All right. It's better that Turbo Kid, where they had the arm wrestler, who barely fucking arm wrestled. He did not, not didn't do much. See the thing with Turbo Kid is that the girl, Andrew, in Turbo Kid is amazing. She should have been the main character and have it all about her because the actress

was funny and she took bad lines and actually smiled with it. She was the better character. But the rest of the movie was not. I didn't think she was amazing, but I thought she was okay. She was better. That's for sure. Yeah. There's that.

But yeah. Kong Fury. Don't, don't. I like that little dumb flash game though. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's all right. It's better than it should be considering it was like a dollar. It's a cheap flash game.

Yeah. That being said. There are better flash games. There are things that like reference the, the, the time still make me feel good. I still like, like, like that laser hawk stuff with the, the soundtracks, the, the fucking, I forgot what that short video was called, but it's just a car driving down a Tron-like city. Yeah.

It's fucking gorgeous. No, that's cool for sure. And it's, and it's great when you have the laser grids and stuff. And drift stage. It's when you get the laser, the laser velociraptors in there. Yeah. And you're like, oh, okay. Well.

The laser velociraptors or sharks have to make sense in the thing you're already doing. Blood Dragon. Don't mix. Blood Dragon is perfect cause it's, you're already cyborgs. It's all, it all feels cohesive in its own game. So when you saw the trailer for Kung Fury and it's like, Hey, it's like Streets of Rage for the first 15 seconds. The trailer is somewhat misleading in that when you watch the movie, it's very clear

that it, it's not an 80s homage. It's an 80s homage firmly mixed with like random, like sci-fi fantasy junk. So when you have- There's a bit where Thor comes in and he's just flexing for a little while. Is he dancing to techno music? No, entertaining. No. Okay.

Cause that would be too far. Something I wanted to watch if I had time this week. I'm not sure if you guys see the trailer, but it's Moonbeam City. Yes. Moonbeam City looks awesome. No. Neon Pastel 80s Miami Vice cartoon with Rob Lowe. No.

You should probably. I really want to watch it. That just came out on Comedy Network like a few weeks ago and I've been near lots of people have been saying it's pretty good and I've been wanting to see it. Oh, that looks cool as shit. Yeah. Also Hotline Miami looking that like Archer. Okay.

What? In the 80s with- Oh, wow. Yeah. Great one. That looks cool. That looks cool as shit. Yeah, I've seen it.

That's interesting. Hey, someone, I'm not going to, I'm going to be on Honeymoon this week. So someone make that their homework if they can't, I won't be able to watch it. Dazzle. Okay. Yeah. Man, this goes right from your Gem in the Hologram shit right into this. Like-

Gem in the Hologram is Miami Vice and Hotline Miami. This feels like- That movie came out. Did you see it? What? Gem in the Hologram. I was forcing my wife to go and say, no, I don't want to see it. But I need to know.

We're married now. You have to. Oh, damn it. Now you've got to be guilty. Right before. I read an in-depth review of why it's worse than you possibly ever could imagine. Which sucks because they know everyone hated the trailer. They think they would edit it or reshot some bits.

But no, I really want to go see it just so I can complain. There's only so much you can cut and shape and change. I know. All bits. They're fucking teen actors. You can pay them whatever. It's fine. You can pay them-

Pay them less and re-cut them. Here's a photo of like a puppy. There's a hamburger telephone. Yeah. There you go. No. I had a pretty good segue off of that borderline stuff. It's gone now.

That was like 40 minutes ago. I know. It just doesn't work. You're playing something that you wanted loot. You wanted loot stuff. You wanted to play loot. Get loot. You're playing Borderlands.

You should play Darksiders then. There's tons of loot. No. I don't care about loot. That's why I don't play MMOs. MMOs aren't about loot, man. I don't know. What?

Huh? What? No. You were like speaking of loot. I was- No. I was saying like, don't nod. Says the guy who blew like seven hours on Sunday grinding out mounts.

Oh. Terrible. Did you get the mount? I got four of the six that I want. And now I got so frustrated. You only ride one at a time. Yeah, but if you get all six, you can get a special seven special one. You stacked them on top of each other and then you help them.

So here's where you turn. Oh, I don't want to hear about it. You get to the end and you just force the loot master option and just take it and then leave the entire party. Like go get your own stupid fucking mouse. So I beat Life is Strange and I liked the way it ended. I think the last episode was the strongest one. Which ending did you get?

Because one ending is stronger than the other one. One ending is stronger than the other. By far. But okay, okay. But here's the thing. One ending, it's weird. One ending is better than the other. But the better ending-

Subjectively. The better ending has less content. You know what I mean? I mean, your preferred ending. My preferred ending has less content? Because it's very clear which one is the better result in terms of payoff. Well, it's- It's possible because I got, me and Liam got the less optimal ending.

We got the one that we'll leave- That ending is like 15 seconds. You got the one that we'll leave- So I beat it and I beat it and then I immediately like loaded it up and went back to the final choice and did it again to see the opposite thing and did it while cursing until dawn the whole time. And got to that final choice and then watched the other version and it's like, oh, okay. So the one that you're implied, the ending you're supposed to choose to fit with the

correct canon, you know, you're your, your Hal and not your Hal ending, but you're your Merrill ending, if you would, is clearly like, yeah, more content longer and so on and so forth. But I would rather go off on that snowmobile with Otacon, like that's how I feel about this and that- Hey, what are you talking about? The Merrill ending is not the canon- I'm just, I'm just, it's whatever, stupid, stupid analogy for-

Yes, the bandana and MGS2. Two, but it's, and there's, he's both. They're both there. It doesn't work. Anyway. Both endings are canon. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same with Life is Strange.

They're both on that snowmobile. Yeah, exactly. No, the point is though- Yeah, Life is Strange. The barbie drag behind- It was Life is Strange. I felt that the last episode was the strongest one and like, it goes in some weird directions. There's a point where they start incepting a little bit too far, but I still feel that

the characters responded in a way that I can appreciate in terms of like, okay, when shit's going down for real, what does a normal person do under this kind of like stress or anguish or whatever? And it's really interesting because I was kind of hinting at this one and I talked to Lame about it a little bit earlier this weekend, but like the, after sort of beating this and whatnot, the further I get away from Ultra Despair Curls, the more I hate it and the more it's like poisoning my brain. I got to speak to both of you right after this and both of you had very enlightening

things to say about like the narrative structure of that. It's really, it's quite interesting because, you know, and the thing is, of course I was looking at some of the comments and feedback and, you know, one thing that like a lot of people that did like Ultra Despair Curls were upset by was the fact that there was things we missed by talking over these plot points and things like that. So I made sure to go back and review everything to make sure I didn't miss anything major and in doing so, I just reconfirmed, yeah, no, I absolutely love this. Okay, I don't dislike the game as much as you do, but we've established that all of

the stuff that we either willingly or unwillingly missed or skipped over didn't matter. I stand by that, but even though I like the game significantly more, but no, but there's points where like a character was talking, for example, like some stuff were like Hygis talking and he's giving them, he's explaining like a motivation and we didn't acknowledge it in the video. Yeah. So it basically seems, it looks like we just completely, it went over our heads when it's like, no, we caught that, but just, it wasn't anything, right?

But anyway, all that to say that it kind of led to this interesting thing where after beating Life is Strange, I had a moment where I was like, oh my God, Max Coughfield is very much like the main character in Ultra Despair Girls, Komaru, and that their ordinary, even their haircuts are the same. They're a boring, ordinary girl, thrust into a world they never made and forced to deal with the situation. And you know, one thing that upset me throughout most of Ultra Despair Girls was how she would respond to like bad things happening around here.

And like, you know, the joke is like toughen up, go shogun, go gurun, whatever, etc. But like, for serious, actually get angry or at the very least proactive about what you do. And so I kind of look at Life is Strange where like some bad things start happening to Max and like the way she responds to these things is the kind of response I wanted in Ultra Despair Girls. And it led to- Komaru was proactive by the end, just because she's not killing children doesn't mean she

wasn't proactive. Exactly, which leads to now the other thing where- Max didn't kill any children. Now the whole, there's a whole giant thing where people are either like, yeah, no, they get what I'm trying to say, or they're like fucking wooly with the child murder boner, right? And just because she didn't murder any children, he's getting super upset. And it's like, okay, that's funny, but no, the reality is don't walk away from the murderer,

right? And that bothered me more and more as I started to see- I'm not criticizing you on that. I'm just saying she did develop agency by the end. But it's not about her killing the children or not. I didn't say it was about her killing the children, I said it was about developing agency. But you started your point. And I made a joke, just because she didn't kill any children, I mean she didn't develop

any agency. And so when you have fucking Clarice Starling breaking into Buffalo Bill's house and seeing the girl and then saving the girl and then beating down Buffalo Bill, but instead of calling the cops to lock him up or take him out or whatever, you just go, fuck you, Buffalo Bill, you're a bad guy. And then you walk away from him and then leave it alone. Anything else that happens to anyone at that Buffalo Bill- Wait, hold on, let me, let me, let me.

Are you saying that in All Just Fair Girls, someone comes upon Buffalo Bill and says no, no, no. And then leaves. And then leaves. Yeah. Wait, can we reiterate that? Because- Because they come upon the villain.

They come upon the villain. They come upon the villain. Doesn't matter who it is. Slash villains, the bad people. Yes. Right? They stop them. Yes.

And then they end by walking away. And anyone else that dies in the future due to these bad people still being around is on the main character's heads. Well, can I just, can we just reiterate that for a second? There's five kids. Yeah. The first two are taken away from her. She has no control over them.

They, they get taken away and- This is so fascinating. And then the third kid- It's interesting. The third kid Nagisa gets rid of. And then Nagisa seems to die. And then Monika is crushed under the building. Cool.

There's no need for her to kill them. And you think that that's, I'm not saying kill. Like everyone- Sorry, I used the word kill. But I mean there's no need for the word kill. Hold on, hold on. To a little bit of a talk for a while. I just want to, I just want to get an update so I can get back up to speed.

Wuli, your stance is that Japanese culture is inferior because they won't kill the children. That's, that boils down to it. That's correct. It boils down to it. Right? That's what I- And, and so anyway, it's like, you know, like the, the, the fact that people like Because if you don't know, I'm just going to swear to girls, it boils down to super

crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. You know, there's a, there's a- Or if you zip forward in the podcast and miss, miss, miss the start. To spell it all out. To spell it all out. It's, it's hilarious and frustrating because like children are murdering people and being

super evil. Children can murder people whenever they want. Yeah. And the game takes this like, what I think is like a Japanese high ground moral stance on to preach at you about how no matter what happens, you should never hurt a child, even if they're super guilty type of thing. And in my head, it's just like, okay, so all the victims are on you then. The blood is on your hands.

I actually spoke to you more than I spoke to Liam and I don't know if anyone here remembers, but when I watched Monster around episode 40, the main character is given the chance to just shoot the villain in the face. That villain has killed at this point, like a thousand people and they, they chicken out and they, they can't do it. They just for themselves. And then someone else tries to do it and both of them stop each other from killing the person and that person goes on to kill like a thousand more people and it's supremely frustrating

like screaming at my television. It's incredible. It's so incredible, right? And so the actual realistic thing here is like, you don't have to murder that person, you could at the very least take them and bring them to the authorities type thing, the jail type thing, which in this world, there is a foundation that exists that could do that. But instead of that, they just leave them to their own devices and hope they'll learn

their lesson type. They got crushed by a building. There was no opportunity to take them. Like I as well think, I as well think the game was generally not the best at all. One of them got one. But like there was no, for one character, the other character was just left alone. You want to talk first? Yeah.

You want, are they supposed to drag her around the city? Don't bring, don't let the murderer, yes, to the future foundation. There's no reason to let a murderer run free. You want to talk frustrating. There's a big RPG, which the three of us, man, you haven't played it, in which the ending of that RPG is we can't kill you. That'd be horrible. Yes.

We're going to ask you to turn yourself in with no evidence. And the villain just says, yeah, okay. But if they didn't say that, then they would literally just let that person go. It's a weird thing. And it might be a Japanese thing. It's totally Japanese. It's very interesting. Jumping back to life is strange.

The key for only shoot anyone for no reason. Me and Liam played, Liam also beat it obviously, because we're playing for the channel. We can't really talk about the ending though, because it's not all of them yet. No, of course not. But we got an ending. We're both, I think we're both like similarly not happy with that ending, and Liam beat a point the other week where he's like, that is unfairly not a great ending. Like there's no point for this ending to even really exist.

The other ending is like literally 20 times longer. But I was pretty disappointed with the episode. It's not terrible or anything, but I disagree in that. I don't think it's the strongest by a wide margin. I think the first hour is incredible when you kind of go through it and you're like, okay. It, it, it presents to you a scenario that's so cool that me and Liam freaked out and then just as quickly abandons that scenario for another scenario and then another scenario

and then it put 10 scenarios too many. Incept the incepting. Incepting part. And I, I feel like each one got progressively less interesting than the first one. Now me and Liam's, what we got might have been something that we just decided to tune it in to check out a bit more than other people because there's a point in the game where it forces you to check something out and then no one would miss it then. But at the point where we checked it out, it seemed very narratively strong and you're

very excited and then he keeps presenting you these like other scenarios that got progressively less interesting and then it gives you like kind of your ending. There is a whole lot of great setup, but I don't think it fully delivered like the other episodes were able to. I didn't fall on its face, but I feel the gymnast stumbled slightly and got in as it was getting deeper and deeper into its, into its own head. Like I had a moment where I had to pause it with the girlfriend and stop and go, okay, wait, hold on a second.

Let's figure out how many steps deep we were in here and how far we're going and oh my god, the time paradoxes and so on. And like that was fun to figure that out. And then like it does a nice little mechanical thing right before the end. But again, yeah, I'm sure you guys addressed it in the LP, so I don't want to, you know, we don't really actually say, we'll talk about in the podcast, but I guess Pat would need to play when it's all done. That's all it's done.

Yeah, it is finished. And it was right on the list. Yeah. Um, no, I, you know, what can I say? I had fun. No, it's good. The first hour was awesome. I loved all of it, but it was almost like a Lord of the Rings scenario where why is

there so many false endings? The Dahaka bit was really exciting. Oh yeah. When the Dahaka burst in, that's not a sort of, oh no, I wanted the Dahaka to show up. One thing I'm going to ask you that, um, it's not in our LP, we missed it, but my friend who, who worked on the game was like, no, you have to see this and she showed me separately. Did you find Warren's locker and look in Warren's locker? No.

It tells you everything you need to know. Okay. Tells you everything you need to know. Wait, not Warren's locker. Uh, yes. We didn't see it in the LP. No. Is this something we missed totally?

We missed it. We missed it totally. This wasn't the accompaniment. No, no. We completely missed it, but, um, but there's my friend showed it to me. I, you know, but you don't even have to tell me because there's a, there's a fat big hint though in that final episode as well towards like, hmm, hmm, about this guy. No, Max is you.

It can be whichever path you want, but no, okay, no, that's not the case. Okay. You can, you can make choices. The locker is in her mind. Okay. When you see the contents of his locker in her mind, it's very clear how she feels about Warren. What?

Could that have been done? Does that change your choices? No, it does not change. It does not change. Interesting. I think it'd be more interesting if they did. I was very pleased. That sounds hella interesting.

It does. It is hella interesting. No, I do say though that. Gamepokes fun at the usage of hella later. Good. Like, why would I say hella? That's stupid. Yeah.

Like you do anytime you, like I said, if you do play friendly with Warren, which I know you guys didn't do in your LP, you do, you do see signs of reciprocation. But I want to know because that sounds. Liam seems incredibly certain. Yeah. That sounds cool. That sounds cool. Like you see messages from Warren where like, if you opt to go out with him, he messages

the other girl and says, oh, something came up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like, no, he's being like, he is. He's being hormonal teenager, not scum, hormonal teenager that just doesn't fucking get it. We all make bad choices.

He's being like, that's an archetype of like dangerous male towards women. No, it actually is like, like, wow, that's. Wow. I don't know anything about Warren other than he went from a hug and got rebuffed and that he is dangerous. There's a moment. There's a moment. There's a moment.

It's the friend who's too close and implies that he kind of deserves. Yeah. I know. I know. But it's like, shut up. I haven't played yet. All right. All right.

Yeah. I know. Exactly. Like, come on. But that's it. It's just, you know. Come on. And what else happens?

Western culture superior. Always and so slowly. No. It's just, though I did go back and I did go back and look up interviews with the writer and the director to try and figure out some of what was going on. And something. Which game? Of Dangan 1, 2 and then of Ultra Despair Girls.

And I looked up old interviews for Dangan 1 and 2. And then for this as well, just to, just to, just to, I wanted more info, you know. And one thing I did see was that there's definitely stuff where the writer, you know, designed like the characters and what not, like the main characters to be as ununique as possible and as forgettable as possible because that's something that lets. That's her thing. Because not just that, but it's, that's something that lets Japanese people, specifically high school students relate more to the main character.

That's not just a Japanese thing. That's projection theory. But I'm saying. That applies to Western games as well. But I'm just quoting. I'm quoting the writer. No, for sure. But I mean, that's not a Japanese thing.

So by doing that, it lets them relate more because the writer wanted to sort of simulate that feeling of when you're in high school, they try to push down any unique traits you have type of thing. And the question that gets asked is how do you think Western audiences are going to respond to that? And the guy basically has a response that's like almost like, wow, I didn't even think of that. I don't know.

I'd be interested to find out because it makes me think like, yeah, like we respond weirdly to people that don't really have that much of a personality, you know, in a lot of ways. G.I. Joe would have taken those kids and put them in a burlap stack filled with rocks and toss them in a river like a real hero. G.I. Joe would. Yeah. I love G.I. Joe's in it like a single entity. Yeah.

You know, the G.I. Joe, man. Well, there is an actual G.I. Joe. America Army, man. Loose Willis. Loose Willis. Loose Willis and want something. Or Kiefer. Oh, I love them.

Kiefer would have fucking tased their balls and thrown them in the fucking river. And what else happened this weekend? Canada Cup went on and. Tokyo won. That was really cool. I'm so happy you won. God bless the murder face. How high did Charity get in the end?

Okay. So shout outs to all our Canadian boys for their amazing performances. Specifically the Montreal crew. Charity and Snafu both got to. So Snafu did make it into top 32. Yes. They both got tied for 17th. Okay.

In this bracket of not just killers. Monsters. Next level killers. A bracket of monsters. Nice. My city couldn't break into top 16. Great. There's a great match with Snafu taking out Ryan Hart and some really good upsets.

Some fun stuff. Playing Dalsams. Of course. Of course. Right. Also the shout outs to the anime boys. The Montreal anime boys. Level 5 chan.

Level 5 chan. Level 5 chan and rice. And Philo. Our Yomi programming friend. The guy that helped make Yomi. They all ranked in BlazBlue anime. BlazBlue Guilty Gear and. Fucking what is it?

Persona. So. Shocking. Good on them. They're super good. See the problem with you Willie is that you don't wrap what you actually should. They should be doing these tournaments and you bust in with a gas mask. And you're just like DONG DONG and you just, you trash all their setups.

See the number one in the world for this 10 minutes. I guarantee you not only do they know DONG DONG they probably have serious tech. Like tell me. Tell me what DONG DONG is happening. I'll show up. Because we've had nights where it's like okay poverty time. Let's go. I want to.

The tournament's over. Everybody sit down. And everyone knows how to play. And that's where Willie gets the entire next season of Scrub Wars. There you go. I'll bring my Kakuto Chojin strats. That's always the one you go for. Because it's the last of the three great games that were released on the Xbox.

Oh it's not good that game. It's not. Oh no. Yeah. Oh no. I think it's better than you remember. It's actually pretty decent. But it's the other one you got to watch out for.

Taofang right? Oh I get those confused. No no. Taofang's really bad and Kakuto Chojin is the one that's alright. Yeah. But no. But just you know all in all like the last job done by Lapchi and Vince and those guys over there.

You know I remember back in the TO days when I was like trying to bring Canada Cup over here to Montreal. It never happened. It never happened but like the goal was to bring the Canada Cup where the players were. And now that it's finally happened it's like yeah you can see that was the best event they've had. The fucking after hours stream from the bar where everyone's playing. They didn't get to watch any of them.

You know it's like winner and loser both take a shot between every game first of five. That's good. That's good. That shit was awesome. It was super good. How many matches were there? Dude.

He's on the floor. Japanese players like they have not they have they got body. No tolerance. Body by the drink. Right. So you watch the skills like not slowly decrease but instantly. Were there were there ones where like the Japanese player was winning and then as the alcohol came on they lost their lead and lost.

Did that like did a full turnaround happen? You had you had more than one of those. What was the dude's name? Can't call it a Gundam drunk. One of the Japanese players like he was one of the younger guys. He was winning in the first of five and he took the last shot and then just fell over and couldn't do the rest of the match. He had to end it.

Oh he fell over. He couldn't do it. Wow. He just he had to tap out. You know. Wow. That shit. Pride of Japan.

No. It was it was fucking fun. When are we going to get the fighting game like first of five using the fucking painsticks the fucking Klingon painsticks you win the round. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Brand and you're just in your fucking guts. So no. That was that was awesome. And it was not archived. So you either saw it or you didn't you know. Someone archived it. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. That was pretty much it. Yeah. And I hope I hope I fucking hope it comes back to the East Coast next year so that I can fucking go down. Yeah. The whole thing because that looks like a good time. All right.

So game news like. Nothing. Let's roll. I mean look man as if people in Detroit didn't have enough reason to move out. Now you've got to run. Run. Don't walk. It's coming.

If you walk for free day for you starting at seventy nine ninety nine. That. Detroit and um, Detroit that Dave and, uh, uh. Suda. Is that his first game right? Not his first game. But it's one of those is called Michigan. Yeah.

Something about that place that. That game is awesome. That means that it's a nightmare as how nightmares health something about that. That. That being said, this story very likely takes the same cue. Me and Liam spoke about this. It takes the same cue that a human revolution did, which is like you. Okay.

Say there's a technological cyborg revolution. Where is there a bunch of abandoned factories that have a lot of machining and. Detroit. That you could totally convert from dirt cheap and decided to Android shit. Detroit. Makes sense. There was also a little film called Robocop. Yeah.

That did the same. It's about cyborgs. Which by the way, I watched that with my girlfriend for the first time. She loved it. Yeah. That scene that you asked about was the way you specified. Okay. Where it looked like shit.

I buy that for a dollar. That move is great. So move on. You know what I'm talking about? She wouldn't buy for a dollar. Detroit. Detroit. Yeah.

Seems like it's him doing the tech demo story. Yeah. It's Kara. Just follow it up. Yeah. So I want. This is unlike you, Liam. But you beat me to it.

You beat me to it on the long range guess. And the long range guess in our, in our Let's Watch. Is that she is in fact not a real android. Her, our android brain is a real brain powered by ghosts. Ah. This was my guess. We've already figured it out. How do the native people work into this?

They don't. My favorite part? This time it's about the aliens. Yeah. Okay. But the aliens are working with the underwater Chinese amphibomen. Yeah. The amphibomen.

But what about the old, but the old witch and the AI have to work in their way. So on a serious note, he's not the only writer on this project. Yeah. Each, each, uh, as the budget goes up, there's more people brought in to reign him back. Well, uh, uh, both heavy rain, uh, Indigo heavy rain and, uh, beyond were all just him. Yeah. The first time he has a, either three people now. Yeah.

Beyond, no, beyond had, uh, two support or three support people. Yeah. They didn't have power. I don't know much. Yeah. I don't know about the power, but they were there. There are co-writers. Cause they, cause in the interview with the other guy at chronic dream, he's like, yeah,

David's a bit crazy. We got to bring in Hollywood writers to reign him in. Yeah. So like, no, stop your idea. Your original idea had lots of value and merit. Yeah. Stop. You don't need to put the ghost in.

The ghost doesn't need to be there. You need to get. I said it during our, our, our watch thing and like any other game they would have announced, it would have been kind of ambivalent. The fact that it's Kara, it's like, okay, I'm interested. I really liked that tech demo. Cause I'm the least interested in this out of every David, like judging from this trailer at least I've seen these ideas a thousand times in a thousand movies now and especially

in human revolution. I would have, I think I said to you, if this was going to be another indigo prophecy where it's some weird murder mystery and or like heavy rain, even I'd still be down for that. But I'm, I don't care about future. The concept of, of robots and humanity is one of the most well-tread sci-fi things ever. But I'm still, like, I still really liked that tech demo. As somebody who just likes himself to Asimov, I suppose, we'll see where this goes. I don't.

I don't think he presumes. I don't think he presumes that. You know, like somebody who literally just finished watching Next Generation again that has data as the best Android character ever. And he also, he also makes his own Android. All the multiple prominent episodes dealing with Android ethics, Android slavery, Android procreation, etc. Those are complicated, sensitive topics that are analogs to real problems.

I have anti-faith in Cage's ability to handle any of those subjects with any class at all. Oh, you mean, oh, you mean the analog for slavery? Yes. Yeah. I said that in there. Let's watch. Yeah. The segregation on the Metro where the robots go into one section or the other.

Yeah, I, no, I, I, I, I think David Cage can handle that material pretty well. Maybe that's why the other writers are thrown in there. Did you see the director's cut from the trailer? No. Because you see the train with the regular people and the Androids. Yeah. And then behind there, there's the black people. Okay.

No. That's okay. And behind them is the black Androids. Oh, those Andros never get out of there. They're stuck. That's cool. That's like, yeah. At least, at least you know the channel will continue for at least another year.

Nice play up, buddy. Yeah. No. You're good. You want a world where Cage's contributions to his, to his staff are through Twitter and Twitter only. Mm-hmm. Where every story idea and or direct direction pieces in 140 characters or less.

Wouldn't it be cool? No. I, I, I really, I, you know, their, their art is always like super, super top notch. I, I like am deeply in love with the like very near future aesthetic. Oh yeah. Super rad. Because like when they get it right and it looks like this is going to get it right, like it just has such a nice look to it.

Absolutely. So like even if only on the art I'm interested, but I don't have a ton. After Beyond, I don't have a ton of faith. I don't know. No optimism allowed. Did you play Beyond finally? I played a big chunk of it, but I'm, I think I'm only 40%. You still have my copy?

Do you still have my copy? Yeah. I want to talk to you about it. Okay. It's crazy. Because I've been kind of like, oh, when's the PS, because the PS4 version has been supposed to come out for like, A while.

A while. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Wait and play that version. Okay. Cause it'll be shinier at least. I already said this in a few places, but I wonder if this incredibly unreasonably sexy,

incredibly lifelike robot will have an incredibly lifelike, incredibly sexy shower scene. Shower scene. Please look forward to the stories about the interview for the girl that played the robot where David Cage was trying to like sniff her armpits or some shit. Here's, here's the scrapbook. You remember what I said the other week? That was like a, with a laser pointer dead on. Wow.

You remember what I said the other week, Matt, about the shower scenes? In which? All of them? Yeah. Where it's like, you know, there's a ton of creepy shit David Cage does, but the one thing I'll say about the shower scenes is that's every French direct. Yes. Ever in every French film.

And it started thinking about it. It started thinking about it. It started thinking about it. There's, there are, there are tons of other rape things he does that are terrible and like, wow, you're really just raping all these girls, but the shower scene. That's an European standard. It's entirely, entirely crazy. It's crazy.

You get his own shower scene. Europeans love to take showers. This is true. And they love to film it. The shower is so erotic. I will quit the shower and give up. I really can't wait till their next game that takes place entirely in showers. I took a bad shower.

I made the bad shower. And challenges his... David, why are you shit on the floor at the bathroom again? He's stomping his shit through the drain. The question is... Hey, we can package it and sell it as beyond. These are the worst French access. These are so terrible.

People are living afraid. It's so embarrassing. No, because I'm trying to do Parisia. Yeah, that's the problem. Are they going to put... Are they going to put nips on the robot girl so that she can see... There'll be a weird, translucent, super-soaker-like nipples. That's how you refuel them.

Or like drills, like Rick and Morty. From the trailer, you can see that they're all for different purposes, and the robots have different labeling and stuff. Yeah, yeah. So I guess it depends on if she's a sex bot, which she probably is, but... I look forward to not only playing David Cage Bingo, but also having the list of things that Chobitz did better by the end of that game. So Bingo card confirmed.

Confirmed. Also, full LP confirmed. What was this? Amateur? Just getting up there, because people have been asking. It's a sadness. Quagilladree. Must continue. People have been asking.

I was making jokes on Twitter. It's like, I resent this game for existing, even though I know it's going to pay for itself. And Takahata comes in and is like, the instant I saw this, I was like, well, best friends got something to do for months. Yeah. Time to start.

David Cage announces new best friend LP. That was something someone wrote on that. And I was like, and I was like, man, that guy, he knows. Well, like five minutes ago, I said, at least we know our channel will continue. So we have to go shopping for a card. So now that we have the farthest advanced knowledge ever,

and we're wearing Bingo card, that Bingo card will be finalized, prepared, and available for you to play it long and well in advance. And maybe we should go for like a double-sized Bingo card. Yeah, because why not? Because you got like 20 hours to kill. Well, I don't know if you remember, but the Biontu Souls Bingo card was created by people

like halfway through that game. It was empty when that happened. And it easily filled up by a third of the way. When people realized we're being taken for the ride again, because we weren't sure at the start, we're like, maybe this is the turning point. I was like, oh, no, it's not. It would make me very happy to not fill that Bingo card in very much.

Yeah. It would make me very happy. It has to be one or the other, right? Right. All the way fucked or all the way fixed. All gone. I had to put in multiple X's on some of these. What is it?

Yeah. Like the results all line up to their own Bingo as well, because you're that certain you're going to get them all. But yeah, that's that. Love you, David. Never stop. So the much anticipated trailer for Preacher dropped earlier today. And it took a look.

And super happy that we're getting a Preacher series. It's cool to hear that Seth Rogen is apparently a super huge fan and is trying to make it as faithful as possible. Watch the trailer. And the one thing I took away from it was, I really don't like the casting. Oh, really? So you said he's taking steps to be super faithful,

and you read the description, and it goes, Jesse Custer, and Tulip, and Cassidy, and original character, and original character, and semi-original character. And you take a look. That's not as... Well, it's a TV bubby. You gotta...

And I'm looking at the trailer for scenes I recognize versus scenes I don't. It's hard to find. And I'm seeing more that I don't recognize than one more that I do. I'm fully anticipating that... Okay, here's the thing. You make Daredevil. I didn't finish it though, so it's possible that in the last couple of...

No, there was a vampire in there. Because where you might have not finished it, it's craziness that cannot be described. But the trailer seems to indicate the startings or beginnings of something. It's unclear. But I was gonna say that when you take Daredevil or a thing, or a movie, or a comic book that has 30, 50, whatever years of stuff,

there's so many origins and takes or whatever that you can call from. So Daredevil, yeah, it's not the most straightforward and, you know, faithful Daredevil comic book adaptation ever. But it doesn't matter. Because there's been so many different interpretations. There's one creature. There's one starting, middle, and end point. And I look at that trailer.

I don't mind the guy that's playing Jesse. That's the guy that plays Howard Stark. He's a good actor. I've seen him with some stuff. I don't know anybody else. And from that quick look, I just didn't like it. Cassidy is some motherfucker from Coronation Street. Really?

Boy back in the day, apparently. And the woman playing Tulip. She is the voice of the fucking Emerald Herald in Dark Souls 2. Shut up. Seek, lest, lest, some weird shit. And I saw some people complaining why is she like darker. She's supposed to be a blonde girl. And she is darker.

What's fucked up is she still looks like Tulip. She still has this kind of frizzy-ish hair on the side. She's kind of got a thin face. She looks great. Tulip seems like the name you'd give a horse. Well, she's from the south. No, I'm looking at it. And I just don't like the casting so far.

But the show can still be fantastic. And I'm going to go in with... I heard from people saying since this is an AMC show, AMC likes having their things slightly different from the source material. So I don't know, maybe like The Walking Dead. Yeah, they liked that second arc of The Walking Dead to turn the series into an unwatchable fucking mess. God, is it that bad?

That second season is the fucking worst. I only watched the first three episodes, I think. It's funny because I made it past that. I got to season three before I hit that point. Dude. I got to season... It gets almost... I got to season 2.5.

I should watch that. Because everyone gets bored and has to have a moment where... If we keep acting smart and safe, then the zombies can't hurt us. So we have to be stupid so that the zombies can't hurt us. No, yeah. Persil's farm is like 30 pages in the book. It's a full season. When this was announced and we talked about it on the podcast months and months ago,

I was like, I'm really looking forward to this. Because, yeah, Seth Rogen is a writing partner. They said they're big fans. But I look at that trailer, I can't help it. I don't know. If he's the Rodriguez to preach your sin city, then I'll take it. But then again, Green Hornet. But again, the tone was fine.

I feel like the budget's not going to be there for the super spectacular shit. Like page two or whatever, giant burning baby head flowing through the cosmos. With a rainbow shooting out of it. Murdering everything. That's not going to work for TV budgets. I'm sorry. Do it though. I'm still really interested.

But I'm going to be really critical. And one thing that you're going to really miss in TV is not having speech bubbles. Because speech bubbles are so important. Speech bubbles are actually super effectively used in preacher. It's not like spawn where it's like, oh, that's a cool speech bubble. It's like, no, that shit fucking is a plot device. The speech bubble has a hitbox. So when you have a show, it's like, what are you going to do here?

So the voice has to be really good. It has to be really good. On point does not describe how on point it has to be. We're going too far ahead of ourselves. Preacher's off. But continuing like preacher morph, it kills the children. Continuing. Well, I got good news for you.

Oh yeah? Yeah. So the continuing AMC's news, I guess, apparently Shane is killing it so hard in Daredevil Season 2 that they're like, Netflix? Yes. But AMC's The Walking Dead. So Shane is killing it so hard as the Punisher that they're like, fuck you, Iron Fist. Move over.

We're giving Shane his own Punisher series, and Iron Fist is now going to be a movie. Which I'm fine with. You know what? A Netflix movie. I think it's unfair that another underrated hero gets kind of shoved aside, even if it's by the Punisher. Because the Punisher's had a shot so many times. Getting heroes for hire. But it's okay.

Getting heroes for hire. It's okay. And yeah, a movie on Iron Fist. Like I'm really interested in Iron Fist. And lately I know he's been really, really cool. He's back in the 90s. No one gave a shit about Iron Fist. Please, please follow.

This is a rumor at this point, by the way. It's not confirmed. And Pat came in bringing up the valid point with Iron Fist, which is like, he's a fucking Aryan Uberman. Kung Fu master. Why is white Kung Fu master? It's so weird. Because it's like back in the 70s, David Karate and the Snake Eyes and G.I. Joe.

It was normal back then. But please go with the matte fraction route of all these, all the mystic, magical, agent people going, why the fuck is this white man possessing our dragons? That's great. And he's like, I don't know. Who the fuck is this guy? That's what we need. That's what we need.

So I hope that's true. And I hope that's their scene. John Barron fall. Yeah, Shane. Kelly has a punisher. I'm going, yo, everyone pointing at him. And all the producers are just slapping people's asses. Yeah, let's just fast forward this shit.

It's totally like, it renews your excitement for Daredevil season two. Because it must be amazing. When you hear that this new character was so good that they already gave him his own screen with it. And it ain't even on the air yet. I mean, there's also that air presumption. This is like when we talk about when a game developer says, hey, this is the first of a trilogy.

Oh, we just fucked ourselves. So the first one bombed. And I hope it's not one of those. The ultimate scenario is that John Barron fall ends up being like Marvel's Heath Ledger until not that he dies, but just like we added the new character in the second one. And he just fucking stole it. Every time he's on the screen, who cares about Batman? I mean, Daredevil.

I mean, whoever. No, well, it might be that. And Shane has the power. I can't. I can't. It's so locked in. Well, dude, everything that becomes a movie or a TV show, it's like in the comics, guess what?

That's what's happening now. The comic character turns into that. Yeah. You know? Helmsworth is fucking like the Avengers, especially. Like you can see that that's like there's always the main line stuff, but there's always the this is basically we're doing a comic book version of what you got in the theaters, you know?

So no, sounds great. Looking forward to that. Yeah, it's still a rumor, but I hope it's confirmed. Other cool shit. You got the Metroid fan film. The Sky Calls is available. It's just 11 million. Me and Willie Washington.

We watched it when it came out. Yeah, exactly. They double-edged sword this movie, is it not? Did you check it out? Yes. Okay. No. Okay, so it's a Metroid fan film.

It handles the way Metroid sci-fi, in my opinion, should be filmed fantastically because it does it in pure 2001, a space Odyssey mode. So kind of like abstract. But like still sci-fi and it's just the way it's shot. The cinematography is very much 2001 and it goes for a sort of like a classic sci-fi kind of feel. In a lot of ways, it's awesome. I love that.

Like lo-fi? Like alien? There is an alien influence on some of that. Yes. There's a couple of moments where you're like, that feels like a Prometheus shot right there. And they got money on it, you know? And it's clearly that like, it'd be great if Nintendo took that and said, hmm. But!

Say what you're going to say. There's a huge but. There's been like a million like Metroid starts and movies and people have the licenses and just no one because it's like, I don't even want a Metroid movie because it's, I just think it's impossible. So there's a, I didn't think so either because I was always saying, you know, they're going to add the buddy robot. They're going to add chip.

They're going to. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck chip. You know. You're going to, Samus is going to be in the ship. Where are we going? What about data from legends?

Exactly. And he's dumb. It's going to be there, right? Keep Metroid weird. But that's not the problem in this case. What is the problem? The problem is that Samus is allowed to speak. The problem in this case is that approximately 50%.

40%. Approximately 40%. It is scared looking shots of her advisor or her saying terrible lines. And she. Terrible lines or terrible acting? Both. Both. To the end power.

To the character being portrayed by Jessica Chobot. Jessica Chobot is. Samus. Are you serious? Yeah. We're serious. We're super serious. Okay.

So the thing with this is that when like I was about to ask what is the point of a fan film? Really? You can't actually make money off it because you're not charging for it, correct? Yeah. So the thing is that you are. You're pitching. Hopefully with your cinematography or direct install, whatever you're pitching someone

to maybe. Or portfolio. To make someone and hire not Jessica Chobot, but that's who was available at the time. That's how Blancamp got Halo or at least temporarily. Okay. Yeah. With that old short film. Acting prowess is like the least important thing here to me.

But they do the Iron Man in the cockpit shots. That's the only way it can be done. No. No. But they do it a lot. Okay. No. No.

Yeah. And so you're forced to confront this bad acting all the time. Yeah. And the wig. The wig is bad. The cosplay wig is rough. Yeah. I would say it's sub-cosplay.

If someone just makes a nice, tight phantom edit. Cut of all those live action shots. Cut every single line of dialogue. And every face shot. It would be really good. It'd be well directed. It'd be really good. I think it's really boring because every Metroid fan film is the exact same thing.

And what this would mean is the planet looks around for ten minutes, leaves. You're right. You're right. You're right. And so it sucks. And it's just like it's crazy. There's so much close production. There's no practical.

Exactly. It sucks. And what I said to Pat was that what you have here is a proof of concept for the guys that could handle the cinematography, but you still need a writer. You need a writer. And you still need an actor. All the good things. All the good things.

Isn't good to talk. Liam, did you just say there's no practical? What? What are you saying? There's pretty much no practical effects. It's crazy on the post. Just like Kung Fury actually. So here's the thing.

If you're making, if you have a short budget and you want to make practical effects, you will never have enough money for it. Of course. To make good looking practical effects, you need a lot, a lot of money. Yeah. But you need a certain amount of money to make CG that's like ehhh. No, definitely. Like good looking practical is way more than decent looking.

It's so hard. It's incredibly hard. So that would always spend the last third of its run time with her and her ship doing space stuff and exploring the galaxy and stuff like that. I look at Woolly and I go Woolly, what the fuck does space have to do with Metroid? Metroid has nothing to do with the exploration of space. It has to do with the exploration of fucking dangcast caves in some space planet. But I don't mind a movie or like some type of narrative thing, filling in those in-between

gaps of like yeah, how does it, like don't spend like an hour on it. And the other thing that cracked me up is that she's about to get destroyed and her ship saves her. And she stands there and she's like oh no, I'm fucked and then the ship comes to save her. Better ship can do that. It means yeah well. It does.

Okay, but this ship is supposed to do that. No, no, but in this case it's not due to her input. The ship doesn't buy itself. It gets hacked. Okay. The ship rides in on its white steed with a cowboy hat and saves poor little, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack. Show some hacks, show some hacks.

Like I don't think you need a buddy character. I think it, I think ultimately it would play out something like, bear with me, it would play out something like Other M where you've got another cast of characters who have a fairy thing. Remember me? You can, you can. And I think, I think ultimately Other M's structure would be how you'd want to do a Metroid movie in terms of having another cast.

Samus the Wrench, like you have to, like you can have something experimental like where a character doesn't have that many other people around and you have isolation as a thing. But no matter what you do, Samus needs to be Femshep. Yes. That's the attitude and the sort of, like the way she carries herself should be like that. Yes. And, and if you have this, like.

Confident, commanding. If you have capable. The version of it we saw here. Voice by Jennifer Hale. Whatever you want, right? I would never, I would never view Samus as commanding. I would say she wouldn't even give a shit about it. You know how Samus should be, and then, and then someone would ask Samus for orders and

she'd just be like whatever. You know what? You know how Samus should be portrayed in a movie? You should have a buddy character because Samus' role in the movie is that of the Terminator in Terminator 2. Okay. And Samus barely speaks and she's the protector on that mission. And if she does need to speak, then it's to the point about the mission and that character

should be the, the Metroid. She's not like the Terminator because she does show fear in the games and she does have emotion. I'm not talking about other games. In the other games she does show fear and emotion and her dialogue is like really collected most of the time. Fusion is where she does have other stuff, for sure. I really want there to be a shot where it's the in view camera of her helmet and then

Jessica Chobot's trying to shove a PSP inside the helmet. Well, we made the joke that like she opens up the helmet and starts licking the arm. I feel so stupid because it's like fucking nine years ago. You can never run it back. What the hell is I gotta say? I want to see a shot, I want the opening of the movie to be the little baby Metroid like hacking the arcade machine. Remember the beginning of T2?

Just do that in the future space and it's the baby Metroid. With the hat backwards and the ATM. Yeah, the ATM and the arcade machine. The Metroid's like easy money. And then I want the Metroid to call its Metroid parents and for one of the... Hey, what's our baby Metroid Wolfie? I can hear him making slurpy noises. Your Metroid parents are dead.

Can I just get like a screenshot of those scenes with just the SNES sprites just pasted onto their faces? It's good to work play. You're not doing anything. It's cracking me up. Okay. He's doing a lot. The brain wanders.

Your clothes give me them. Yeah. How to make that seem better. It's just a brain. It's just a jacket loosely draped over the brain. So as we continue our space adventures, we've got the new Star Wars trailer that dropped on us. A little while ago.

With that... Wait, did that happen after? Yeah, it was last week. And with that, we have my tapping out point for trailers. Because we now are on the cusp... That's the last trailer though. Yeah, it's the last trailer. It's for you.

God damn it. I love you. There might be... I think there might be TV commercials. It's called Star Wars The Force Awakens Final Trailer. Yeah. Good. Okay.

So why is your tapping out point? Because I'm my tapping out point for watching it. That's as much as you can watch. Because you can feel that any minute now they're about to start telling you what's happening. Yeah. And you're about to start actually hearing important lines of dialogue about the plot. But instead, it's like, whoa, there's our heroes. That guy's evil.

Talk vaguely about The Force. Oh, he's really evil. Jayroom's also confirmed you're never gonna see Luke in anything until the actual movie. Sure. Like he's not... Yeah. If you ever think you're gonna see him. You heard him.

But that's it. All I know is he'll have a beard. And he hates it. He loves his beard. What are you talking about? Hey, he hates it. Also, in conjunction with this, is the Darth Jar Jar movement. Get out.

Okay. Get out of my pocket. And it's really... It's wrong. It's super wrong. But it's hilarious. And it's well written to the point where I'm like... Jar Jar was behind it all.

What if? What if it was all a ruse? All right. And then you're like, yeah, okay. You know what? The Matrix within a Matrix Theory. I read that giant 20 fucking pages post as well, too. Where are you going with this one?

And then he starts showing you the picture evidence and the gifts and the moments from in the films. And it's like, but hold on. What, like, piece this and listen to this and go to the link. I'll put a link to it, but read it. And it's like, it's food for thought. Is it? It's food for thought.

Jar Jar does get political ascension throughout the series. For some reason. As a result of the Sith shit. Even though... He does display... Adolishing. And then quoting Obi-Wan, where it's like, there's no such thing as luck in my experience, you know, and shit like that.

The analog... The analog... Is there for anything that could be luck is the force. The possible analog that George Lucas has talked about loving in the past, Beth Lear. You see an unassuming... Yes, exactly. You see an unassuming character and you think he's useless and dumb, but then he turns out to be really cool and more important.

And that was Yoda. No one who thought Yoda was useless and dumb. Well, that's what he was going for in the first trilogy. Like, I feel... When he really did a bad job. No, no. I feel like... We were too young and we knew about the spoiler, but for people that saw it the first time,

you know, like Yoda was just a little, like, Ewok-type thing that turned out to be really important. I feel like George Lucas is using of that scene... Have you seen the original trailers for Star Wars? Ignores what a colossal failure that attempt was and how obvious it was that Yoda was the shit right away. So, he tried, he tried to hide that as much as possible in the original stuff. Look, my greatest failure ever that turned out awesome is the basis for this nonsense. So this trailer...

This theory thinks that, like, this was on the table at some point, but they chickened out and just... Jar Jar is the key to everything. He's the key to everything. If we can make him worse, we'll have... Make him work. Make him work. Make him work.

Well, something we've never seen before. We're never going to be Titanic. No one can. At least for a smile on your face. On your face. On your face. Check it out on your phone. Yeah, there you go, on your phone.

Darth Darth thinks... Darth Darth, Jar Jar, and Barf Barf. You mailed off Barf. It's funny. It's a funny, it's a funny thing. That shouldn't be funny. It's just a random string of words. No, it's a little like your member fart foam from last week.

Oh, that's good. Much of Macaulay. So, the... Yeah. There's news that... Totally. Well, there's... For real.

What's the news? There's topics that sometimes I bring up knowing that there's not much to say. Oh, I saw this. Yeah, I saw this. I bring them up knowing that we're gonna move right past it because if I don't bring it up... People go nuts at you. And go, how did they miss this thing?

How did they miss that this Dark Souls trailer is awesome? Right. This Dark Souls trailer is awesome. Right. So, why does it bring up nothing topics on the podcast? It's because we need to acknowledge... And so, last night, last night, last week, we didn't... You got a bunch.

Last week, we didn't talk about the JoJo logo. That trailer had great animation. There was a JoJo logo, and it was, yeah, they're making part four. I would rather go back to talking about Star Trek for 40 more minutes than discuss an announcement trailer of a thing we all knew was gonna happen. That's what I'm saying, right? So that it's just proofing the... JoJo part four is coming.

Case in point, yay. Dwayne on TV. The best JoJo. Let's do it. I can't wait for the invisible baby mini arc. That shit is hilarious. I'm really glad that you're on my side right now. Well, I've seen...

I'm four and a half... Because we know why you do that story. And four is... Like, it's not even a contest. Four is the best. But... Pearl Jam is the best. But you need to know what it's up against, though.

You need to go further. I fell off of five. I'm not the big fan of it. I'll go back. I'll do it. I'll do it. But... I don't like Jorno.

I don't like him. And Japan has some huge ambitions, because by 2019, the mission is to make Odaiba Gundam real. They have... I don't know. That's correct. They have... I don't know.

They have a plan. And... Is the plan to find a genie and ask him for wishes? So, the Gundam Global Challenge, you can go watch this 48-minute presentation. And it's a long, super serious talk that's reminiscent of the DARPA robot challenge that went on recently. Yeah. And with also the Japan versus...

USA. Yeah. Robo Challenge. Mecha Mecha Mecha Battle. Yeah, exactly. That's going on. You know, now's the time where we need to get proposals to figure out how to turn that Gundam into a real thing that can move.

Every single technological apparatus on a Gundam is absurdly sci-fi-fictional. Yeah. Yeah, but they need to make it, because then everybody in the country will get aroused. And they'll have the babies. And they'll fix their population. Like, they need to do it. They need to do it. The energy from that country-wide boner will...

What's the engine that powers the mobile suit? Dicks. I think it's fictitious. Yeah, exactly. Well, the answer... The Minovsky Particles and Gundanium Alloy. The answer is maybe to start with a zaku, right? Like, completely fictional alloys...

Unobtainium. And fucking energy sources... Fuck off. Yeah. Unless you have guys so smart... They want those scientists are gonna discover a new alloy and particle. Okay. And call them these things.

They would do it. They would... Japanese scientists would totally do that thing. Hey, so what do you guys... It's Michio Kaku to finish Gundam by tomorrow lunch. What do you guys have to do back there? Oh, we've almost just... Just give us another few days.

We've almost found the cure for cancer. No, fuck that! You're on Gundam! Yeah! Yeah! Michio Kaku announces principality of Xeon. I... Fuck it.

They go all the way... No, they just want it to move. They just want it to move. To walk around. Throw the colony in Australia. It's win-win for everyone. It's the first step. Traders gone.

Australians... They wouldn't mind. But then Quebec is next. Somebody sent me an article describing how Australian... The Australian dialect of English is descended because the people that showed up there... Were just too drunk. Were so drunk. All the time.

That the slur and all that and the lack of different words is because drunkenness was so rampant that it changed the language. And got taught to their children. That's sick. That makes sense. And in fact causes legitimate linguistic difficulties because there aren't as many words in Australian English as there are in some other dialects. That's a fucking badass piece of history. Oh, yeah.

Like, you're able to survive that drunken whole period of everything. Yeah. That was a pretty good country. No, I might. It's a long drunk. You made those cool movies about the guy with the hat. And the boomerangs. Dude, they're the best sports about being criminals.

Oh, yeah. Slasher Hawk. Very nice, all of them. In that movie about Slasher Hawk. Don't forget. Don't forget. Don't forget that one. Don't forget that one.

Please meet you. Oh. God, do I fucking love this title. Zero Escape 3. Zero Time Dilemma. It's a really good name, yeah. That sounds so cool. Matt, I'm excited.

I'm excited for it. You have to play the games now because you have to do it right now. Why? Because there's zero time. Dilemma. Did you guys finish Virtus.Rord? No. I didn't finish VLR.

Okay. I'm halfway through and stuck in a weird place in which I can't restart because it's too long. But I can't continue because I forgot everything. So the other game. But not enough everything to have to restart. So the other thing when I was trying to remember the Uchikoshi game that I couldn't think of, that I was hung out to dry on, I was trying to think of Banshee's Last Cry because I was

pretty sure that you said that that was one of his first projects. But then I looked it up and it turns out he didn't work on it. It was inspiration for him. It was Spike or was it Chun-Sup? Fuck, whatever. It was the same team. Yeah. No, that was his big inspiration.

It was the team, but it wasn't him directly. But anyway, yeah, we're fucking getting it. Zero Escape 3. Good shit. I'm really excited. The logo is beautiful. The logo is absolutely beautiful. And I know that with that same announcement, they said we don't want to do the same thing

again as far as another... Yeah. No, sorry. I'm mixing it up with Dangan. Never mind. Sorry. Okay. With Dangan 3, either of you saying you don't want to do the same...

Because I was going to say where this one's going to be is pretty well aligned by the end of the second game. I see. So the second game ends on you could almost call it a cliffhanger. Okay. I really hope that Axis, after this, picks up his punchline game as well, because that anime was pretty good. What are you trying to say?

I figured out what I'm going to do. What? I'm going to restart it and just use a fucking FAQ for all of it, because that's what killed me. It was the puzzles. Oh, you're going to cheat. Yeah. Okay.

I hate them. I fucking hate them. But I want the story. Is there an anime version of this that I can't... No. Dangan has one. Persona has one. In a second.

In a millisecond. That'd be good. No. I don't know. It wouldn't be. You'd have to re-watch the first episode about 80 times. It'd be too much talking. It would be interesting.

Well, Zero Escape's narrative relies on the game. Yeah, it being a game. And it relies on the multiple players. The repeat plays and stuff. Yeah. Absolutely. It relies on that concept. And so for the anime, you'd have to have a lot of, like...

The series restarts whole sensically. Like, it would be this... You know, actually, it would effectively be the same thing. It might not have the same impact, but you could make it work. It would be a longer-term Groundhog Day. Yeah, kind of. The first game you could squish into 13 episodes, not the second game. Absolutely.

Not the second game. No, second game's big. Big, long game. Big, long game. Then we've got... That's a big, long game. My favorite fucking story. Ever.

Of the week, at least. Thank you. Miyamoto thought GoldenEye 007 was too vile. I love that. I love this. This popped up... His proposal is the cutest thing in the world. This popped up not too long ago on The Escapist.

And basically, they were talking to the producer from Rare back in the day, Martin Hollis. And so he explained how, at one point, when they showed off the most close to the final build for the game, Miyamoto sent a series of faxes back to them for suggestions. Faxes! At one point, there was too much close-up killing. He found it a bit too horrible. I don't think that we did anything with that input. The second point was that he felt the game was too tragic with all the killing.

He suggested that it might be nice if, at the end of the game, you got to shake hands with all your enemies at the hospital. That... Okay, see, I never looked at... It's so real! It's so real! Oh my god! It's so real!

I never looked up the details of the story. I always thought that... I like him. And I'm like, that's stupid, crazy Miyamoto. He got to parse his great ideas, which is Samus taking off her head and putting on more and trying to understand what that means. And then trying to parse those some good, awesome ideas that make things good. So I just saw that and I was like, whatever.

Now that I know the full details, that's awesome! Isn't that the cutest thing in the world? I thought it was, don't kill the guy while in mid-fight. Put out a handshake and then he walks away. Go to the hospital after the credits. And you see them stretching out to infinity. Even 006! Lump exactly!

Trevelyn is on the bed and you're watching Pierce Brosnan with a cigar and a martini walk around going, oh, well played. Chopping, shaking their hands and tapping him on the shoulder. Ultimately, at the end of the day, it really comes down to like, did you ever watch a James Bond movie? Yeah! Like that one. You get the feeling that Miyamoto is like a huge hippy stoner. With a garden.

What's he growing in that garden? The mushrooms. The compromise that was made was basically for them to imply heavily during the credits that this is a work of fiction and it's all very cinematic. Well, yeah, it's fucking James Bond. And filmic and not at all... Even a little tiny baby knows about James Bond. Ultimately, I can imagine that the movie company would have Final Say over, no, we don't want our cool action hero that much later.

Well, no, it's re-invent not being... Imagine it's one of the situations where they both have the Final Say. Yeah. And if they don't agree, then it just tanks it. That's so cool though, every game should have that cutscene. Well, it feels like a split second thing where it's like, this is too hardcore, but we need to imply that it's a movie being made. I can see their parachutes. Exactly, so that we can, you know, people don't feel bad about the explosions and the death.

This coming from the man who burns like fucking Bowser down to the skeleton. Who okayed that? Can you shake with driver? And also, like fucking, you can certainly imagine to sell the games where you fucking run someone through or stab them in the fucking head. Every post Mario World Yoshi where you throw him down pits on purpose. And Yoshi's like, no... Granted, none of the levels require you to do that, so I guess in canon you don't. We didn't know that down thrust was gonna be so real.

That was the realest down thrust in the world. Stab again and in the fucking forehead. That was really cool. The only way that would have been more brutal is if you saw the master sort of like peek out the back of his head. Yeah, that didn't. That was really brutal. It would have if the camera had gone. Yeah.

Anyway. Mirazach Cadillaz delayed to May 2016. What was his original date? February. Fall is right with the world. Yeah, make it good. Taking as much fucking time as you want. We had to delay it to add the guns in.

God bless, God bless. Oops, all guns. You want to talk about the Batman Arkham? Yeah, I've been waiting all week. Go for it. Disaster. Again. Disaster strikes, WB.

So, the Batman Arkham Knight comes out on the personal computer a couple days ago. Maybe a week ago now. And the very first thing that happens is people go, what the fuck? This is the same busted shit it was last week. So, in the interim between the original Disaster Super Nightmare release and now there was one patch which significantly increased performance for some users. That's the last thing that happened. So, people with Crossfire setups, SLI setups, fucking, super powerful setups, getting garbage, getting weird stuttering. Warner Brothers comes out and says that the official stance on Windows 7 users is that when the game starts to stutter real, real bad,

Start it. Turn the game off and then turn the game back on again. Fuck. That's what you do with your router. And the official suggestion for Windows 10 users is, well, you know, the paging isn't a problem as long as you have more than 12 gigs of RAM. Which is crazy. To run this console port. What percentile is that?

Less than 1%. Less than 0.1% of PC RAM. You don't have it, you don't deserve it. Well, Lee and I are in the 0.001% of PC users with our PCs. I have 16 gigs of RAM. That's absurd. When I bought the PC, I knew that was absurd. I've never come anywhere close to using it.

That's crazy. That's like offensive to people of like, oh, sorry, your little baby rig. Like, oh, you mean everyone's rig ever for a console port? Crazy. Digital Foundry comes out. It's just not optimized. And says there's been no significant improvements since that other patch. And it's embarrassing and shameful that the game has released like this.

A second time. It's still totally busted. There have been no significant improvements aside from that patch, other than getting the DLC integrated and made. At least the important part. There was the halfway patch, which does make it better than launch, but still not acceptable. And guess what? All the DLC, a lot of it didn't work on day one of the release,

because Steam didn't update its DLC catalog for some reason. In addition, the price fluctuated. In some regions, the price raised the second day. This was back on sale. Like in the UK and stuff like that. In addition. The end game, though, is that it hit the point where they're now offering a full refund. Yeah.

A few years later for anyone that has played up to any point. There's more like hilarious dirt. And the worst one of all was that when the game got released on the 28th, they marked every review of the game that had come out prior to like noon on that day as a pre-release review. As if it were an early access game. Which is a totally fair thing to do when your game contains significant upgrades. But it doesn't.

No, exactly. So the story is, there's one more. The compensation for people... Dollars aren't PC stuff, dollars don't matter. Yeah, thank you. But the compensation that you got for hanging on your game instead of getting a refund was you got the other Arkham games for free on Steam. Which is the most worthless thing ever for the sequel.

We actually covered that a couple of times. Shockingly, if you look at Steam Spy, there's a lot of people who didn't play some of the older ones. Well, there's a reason. Other games that you see are far the most purchased one. In addition, that's not actually compensation because it was actually a special bonus that you would get from buying the game now. Yeah, they're offering... You can still get a refund now though.

They're offering refunds for everybody. GMG is not offering their refunds. Uh, yeah. Asylum is like... Because fuck GMG, I guess. Like, it was only city that actually... It was only city that picked up. The word of mouth spread and people said,

I'll go play that Batman game and no one went back to Asylum. Dude, I remember Asylum's better. Asylum came out day one and me and my roommate at the time were like, oh yeah, that Batman game came out. Let's go rent it. And I went and I rented it. I was playing it and I was like, oh my god, this is the best. What the fuck?

Why is this so good? And he went right back to the store and rented a second copy. And we were just playing... Like, that game was completely word of mouth. The second game, right? Yeah, but Arkham City was like hype leading into it now. So that's why it kind of blew off. The second game was still great too.

But it's weird. It's like that weird word of mouth. Not like Assassin's Creed 1 and 2 where the word of mouth only affects the sequel and not the original, you know? Not big marketing wasn't... Warner Brothers wasn't a games thing. Remember, it was Eidos back then. Yeah, Eidos was co-publisher.

The public side of the marketing wasn't huge. Now, the best... Dude, the story is that you can get your refund for your PC. Well, no, there is one extra bit to that. And that's the saddest part to me is Rocksteady. Because Rocksteady came out after the initial fucked up releases. We didn't work on that last version. It was on our Galaxy.

We promised we're going to fix it. Yeah. So either they're incompetent, or they didn't try, or they're liars. One of the bad scenarios happened. Either they didn't do a good job to a startling degree. Or they didn't attempt to do a good job, or they said they were doing it while they weren't actually doing it. My favorite part of the story is Paul Marketing's line.

That was delivered alongside the refund offer. They pitched the DLC in that fucking thing. We're very sorry that many of our customers continue to be unhappy. The wording of that... There's no responsibility. It's so interesting. Not that we released a bad game, but that you're unhappy. It's your fault you're upset.

It's the equivalent of the phrase, mistakes were made. I didn't make mistakes. Jimmy in accounting didn't make mistakes. Paul Marketing didn't make mistakes. Mistakes were made says that there's responsibilities somewhere. Mistakes just happened. Honey, I'm sorry that you choose to be upset. There it is. Get the fuck out. You were sleeping on the couch, asshole.

I know you caught me with the secretary. Mistakes were made. It's a very interesting phrase. It's really sad you're such a coward. You have to be so upset. You lost me on that one. It's really hard to be such a coward. Everyone loses. You look at the PS4 version. It's incredibly well optimized. The Xbox One version is not quite, but it's pretty good.

Which is why I find it so fucking baffling. Yeah, they're different. Clearly they can't be that different. Going back to Dark Siders, you said how the PC version also was like... Other companies are able to release PC ports. They clearly just put all their money in the console. It's a really small publisher. It doesn't have a lot of money. It hasn't had any big successes recently, so it makes sense.

Warner Brothers at this point, if you have a PC, they are the worst publisher right now. I think Mad Max is fine, but other than that... Mad Max wasn't great. It was fine. It wasn't a good port, but it was okay. But MKX was a fucking nightmare, and this is the double nightmare. Thank God the refund thing happened right before this. It's fine, I think. People stop complaining about it. It doesn't matter because you can't play online.

Yeah, you can't play online, period. Why is that? You can play online, it's just not good. It's just not good, and it doesn't work very well, and there's no players. Just like you can't trust a WB game anymore on PC. When you buy, if you decide to buy their next game, you have to have your finger on the refund button. That's what it's there for, exactly. Holy shit. How great is it, though, that when Steam instituted that feature, we got a big, nice, obvious set of examples to use it on?

You're absolutely right that it's great, but it's a shame. Oh, yeah! I wish we never had to use it. Well, I went from being interested in that game and wanting to buy the Game of the Year version, and now I'm never going to play it. Ever. A console or not. Liam, you read that new interview about near-automata, top-to-bottom and backwards. So I started to get a feeling as I was going through it that I was hitting spoiler-ish material.

Was I right to feel that one? Not for the second game. Yeah. But for the first game? Concepts. Okay. Because I stopped about a third of the way in and went, I don't know if I want to know the answer to this question.

First game didn't have aliens. Okay. Because I know you read that bit. You must have read that bit, because it's one of the first bits. I was a bit, you know, like, there's things here that sound like they're being taken lightly that could be big reveals. No, it's very far in the future of the first game, so the only stuff you can read out of it is concepts, rather than, like, direct light. Like general themes and stuff like that.

Yeah, exactly. Okay. All right. Just making sure. But no aliens in the first game. So if you read the aliens bit, don't you worry about it. Don't you worry about it. All right.

What I am worried about is King of Fighters 14. I continue to be worried about that. Start worrying now. I'm excited to play it and get video footage for you. So here's what we know. We know that the battle planner for this game is the fucking battle planner at Dimps that did Street Fighter 4. He's a guy. He's a real person.

And Trostekin. Yeah. Yasuyuki Oda. That doesn't mean anything. It means that we're likely going to get a competent gameplay wise. But it's not what I wanted to hear. But that's not the problem. But it's not what you were dreading.

I wanted to hear that whoever was behind KOF 13, 2002, 98, Geronimo, whatever. Oh, yeah. A proper SNK fighting game developer is the person helming this. I don't want to hear that it's somebody who made Street Fighter because it's a goddamn King of Fighters game. Well, this guy, before he worked at Capcom, he was at SNK for like 15 years. Well, then that's much better than... No, this guy loves KOF. I'm back to being in...

No, no, no, no. He was fine. This is a good guy. Dimps knows what the fuck they're doing. No, I want this guy. I want you to tell me this was the guy that instituted out of bounds. And he's back to put in the best fighting game subsystem of all time. No regrets.

That's not even SNK. It's okay. It's Fighters history. No, no, Fighters... Destiny. Destiny, destiny. Hey, sorry. Whatever.

I'm ignoring that. And then we had a bunch of announcement trailer type things that popped up. One, we got the announcement that Forgotten Memories is now going to be on all the Sony things. There's a director's cut with extra shit coming. I think the only new thing from that is that it's on PS3 as well. It's PS4. PS4 is the new thing. Is PS4 the new one?

PS4 was not even... Because PS4 didn't exist when this game was announced. That's true. Because before it was iOS Vita Wii U. It's a bummer that Wii U disappeared from the platform split. We accidentally a whole LP that, and it's pretty good. Yeah, Matt told me. Can't wait for a director's cut that's on a console with proper control.

It's always really promising when you accidentally LP something. Oh, we know that feeling. Right, because it was like an episode. Yeah. Oh, by the way, the folks that, when they watched Soma, Soma's out, when you watch the end of Soma Part 2, and it feels like we're trailing off into nothing, that's because that was supposed to be the end of that shitstorm episode. And then as soon as we stopped recording, we were like, oh no, we got to do this. So that's why it ends weird, sorry.

There was no not awkward place to cut it. It can't be helped. She got tonight. Close enough. Yeah, so good on Mr. Siki, yay. There was another... And everyone else who works on it. By the way, did you catch any of the snippets from the near thing?

I know you stopped early, but like with the three playable characters and stuff like that. So the first guy says two playable characters and then the second guy goes... And the tarot is like three. Maybe three. I don't know what that means, but I did catch that. And like there's a bunch of different weapon types that I've yet to be shown, which is great, because Near only has three weapon types, and that's fine. That's more than acceptable, but we've already seen two in this trailer, so if there's a lot more to be shown...

Yeah, like I caught that. I caught the like, what is the gender of these characters? It's like they're robots. Which is the most appropriate thing, like just everyone shut up. Yeah, David Cage. So we got that. Gunman Klyve has been demade for the Game Boy, which is awesome. It's by the guy who did himself, and it runs on all versions.

Sick. Sick. You've got a Game Boy and you want to run at that. Is it the first game? It's the first level of the first game. Okay, yeah. That makes sense. That's very cool.

Does it look up to par visually? It looks like a strike based version of Gunman 5. And it's cool, yeah. What a fucking awesome race of time. That guy's a champ. Like he put out both games, I think, what was it, for $1.99 each? And then when he put out the Wii U, like HD collection, it was also like a $1.99 for both. Because he saw that.

That's not a financially viable thing to do, but he's doing it. No, but he saw that it was a viable pricing structure and it got a lot of people to buy it. And it was like everything has been successful. I wish the second and the HD one would have sold as well as the first one. Your game is a simple, Mega Man type game. The only thing you need is for people to just try it. When you're one guy, that financial plan works. But the moment there's a second guy, what are you doing?

It's crazy. I love him. I love him. I think he's awesome. A trailer for Dark Mewtwo announced in Pokken. That was so cool. That was interesting. But I wish he just had his armor on.

Well, the thing is, it appeared and I was like, are we getting Edge Lord Mewtwo? And it's like, no, just another form that's kind of dark and cool. But Gengar is way more badass in the footage that I saw there. So it's fine. I wish he had his armor because I hate all these form things in Pokémon now. That's all it is right now is make new forms for all of them. Why don't you just kill 90% of the Pokémon? Yeah.

The Mega Evolutions are our Pokémon. Well, Pokémon Colosseum is one of my favorites because 90% of them are dead. Nice. There's none left. They're dead. There's none left. There's barely any water in that world. Nice.

It's awesome. We got a trailer for Friday Night at Freddy's World. Sure. Friday Night at Freddy's? Friday Night, sorry. I always say that, too. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Friday Night at Freddy's, Friday Night at Freddy's World. Yeah, don't try anything frantic. I didn't know what the new title was. Sorry. Five Nights at Freddy's World. Five Nights at Freddy's World. Which is a bright and colorful RPG. Which is awesome.

That's great. This was announced a while ago. It was the first trailer. Somebody's trailer of this. I'm making something different. Somebody was paying attention on Undertale. Like straight up Mario RPG colored grass. Yeah, I guess what.

That game is going to subvert your expectations. No, but the trailer does the reverse, though. That is the subverting of your expectations. The trailer, the first half of it is all spooky scary shit. Setting it up and then it cuts to this happy-go-lucky world. Yeah, and you're going to third through the game. Maybe. And it'll become a racing game.

But you know what? I almost feel like they don't have to. I feel like I think it'd be better if they didn't. I want them to... Because you expect that. I want them to pretend like they are and then it just never happens. So I want, as Liam rightfully called it, the unexpected straight, right? Yeah, the unexpected left jab.

There is no twist. Just boop. That's good stuff. So there's that. Of course we have the Dalsum trailer. Dalsum looks fucking cool. Yeah. He's the iteration that we want to see on all the characters.

Time has passed. He's got the beard. He's got the turban. And his moves are all weird and different. His kid's grown up. I asked about... I asked about his wife when we were watching the trailer. His wife?

And I didn't notice that she's standing in the background with Dalsum's kid. Yeah, she's right there, man. Before we watched it on the Paris Games Week thing, we were both kind of cool on it. You downright didn't want him. I hate Dalsum. You hate him. I hate him. We were both kind of cool.

We were like, alright, Dalsum's back. And then when the trailer... I mean, there's a video of us watching it. We got excited. You look so good. When you see the beard, you're like, awww. Fucking cool. And then you see his moves.

And then he's like a rise. And it's weird. He's not rushed down. But it's still area denial, but he's got aerial control aspects to him. He's got flame carpet. Keep away from my rushdown. Flame carpet is awesome. Fucking interesting, man.

And then you can go finally see some footage of it in action. And the six DLC characters have been revealed. All of them have been revealed. So... What the fuck was... Six DLC characters? Yeah, but in terms of what? Hacked file?

Yeah, well they showed off the silhouettes and then the silhouettes got decoded. No, but that's not confirmed. Those are all guesses. And then they all went back into the data again and found more of the names. People looked at the silhouettes and said, okay, these are probably this guy. Are you talking about the red outline? I'm talking about that. Because that's what happened.

And then after that, they went into the beta and found other locations in which characters are listed. And it's all of those characters. It's Balrog, Gael, Urian, Jury, Ibuki, and Alex. Again, in a completely different set. Like, that's your... We're 90% confirmed. This is what I think we're going for. It was cross-checked.

That's what he's... Okay. Like, it didn't... That was, like, a-ha-ha-ha. And then, like, another source came forward in front of the file. Watch It's All A Ruse. Yeah, I really hope it is. Watch It's All A Ruse.

Watch They Expected This. Yeah, but I don't really know. I do. I want them to appear. I don't want to know. Then they shouldn't have had a PC beta. Well, no. Instead of putting URN, it should have been 004.

Yeah. No, exactly. Like... Yeah. No, that would have been a... But, like, if a file hits a PC, then it's going to get torn out. And in a lot of cases... I know.

I just wish I didn't, you know, like... There's no solution. No, I know. I just wish I didn't. No, but I'm like, how would you even... My statement was a very good place to stop. No, but no, I'm sympathizing with you. It's like, what are you supposed to do?

Nothing. When you want the surprise. You write a number instead of a character name. You do what Smash Brothers did, where it's an update that comes the night before the announcement. We found out about Ryu like four hours before the announcement. I was so bummed that that got leaked. Yeah, but at least it was, like, a half day and not, like, what, a year?

But again, I knew. You know what I mean? Like, once you get spoiled, you're ruined. Certainly. Certainly. I wish the update would have come out, like, at noon the next day. There's nothing topping the Street Fighter cross-tech and, like, CG reveal where Ono showed it off instead of it showing up at a press conference.

Where the Capcom logo shows up after he pans down to see Ryu. It's like, if that had just shown up raw at a Sony conference or whatever. Oh, my God. But it said, oh, no. It says, look, I'm going to show you this game. Yeah, rough gameplay. Yeah. Yeah.

But I know. So the actual changes they made to Dalsum in terms of, like, the stretching to anti-air and giving him Necronormals is... They look weird and slow. And they are. They're slower than normal. But he makes up for it by getting, like, fucking floating and delayed drills and, like, amazing area denial potential.

He's making a need on that. I miss. I miss, like, the beefy, not beefy, but, like, much beefier Dalsum from the Street Fighter animated movie. Were they just made in... Were his shoulders or Sam's shoulders? Yeah. It's kind of cool.

He was a human various... Like, he was almost sagat. I think he looks as cool as he... No, I think he looks cooler than he ever has. Absolutely. I agree. No question. Somebody's got his arm in that nuke in the animated series.

Arm in the nuke. Yeah. Yeah. In that... Right. In that animated series. And, dude, have you heard the Japanese dub for Skullgirls? No.

I mean, skerugeruzu. Skerugeruzu. Fuck Skullgirls. Let's talk about Skullgirls, too. Yeah. Well, that's real. That's out there. That was for Deadly Airport.

And we played it. Not only did we play it, but the Skullgirls announcer went and read the description for Deadly Airport. And he has it up on his soundcloud. Deadly Airport. God bless that guy. Deadly Airport. The final boss is Sundari Plane.

It's great. It's great. Isn't it just Sundari Plane? Sundari Plane. There's no E. It's never said in the game. It's Sundari Plane. Sundari Plane.

Thank you. Sundari Plane. There it is. Japan, China, whatever. Big China. Big China. So China. So the dub, the dub trailer is out for Skullgirls.

It's crazy, isn't it? It's so good. It's right on point with everything. They got everyone. And just to nail it home. All the lawyers. Just to nail it home. Fucking abitwards.

Shit. Sorry, Beowulf. Because when we were talking to Mike, he was like saying, oh, there's things I can't say. So he's Beowulf. So Beowulf is Jotaro. Yeah. Wow.

That's good shit. That's good shit. That's good ass shit. How many Joestars and or Joestar pals are on that list? I don't know. But there's recognizable, like of the girls, there's recognizable girls. Of course.

You know. Parasol is quintessential tough girl from every other anime that you should recognize. Remember her? That's good stuff. Go check that trailer out. She's amazing. If you've got letters for us.

Real quick, did you see Limited Run Games at all? Matt might have seen it, but I don't know if you've seen it. That's that indie physical game thing, right? Yeah. So there's this little group that they work with Mighty Rabbit Games, some indie team, and they kind of splintered off of it, but they still work there.

Like it's a side project called Limited Run Games, right? And the premise is they're taking indie games. I mean, they're, you know, talking with the devs and getting approval and shit, and they're printing retail copies of them in Limited Things. So it's like Mondo prints. For indie games. For indie games,

and you don't have only two minutes to buy them. So you still have a limited, they're still limited and they're not going to reprint them, but, you know, they print thousands instead of 100, you know. So their first game went up this week, Breach and Clear, and they, not a particularly great game, completely sold out within an hour and a half. They said, we're going to do bigger runs for now.

Oh, they, they, turns out they nailed the niche that they were looking at. They killed it. Their store was perfect from minute one, like I was able to buy the game instantly. Their next game is Saturday Morning RPG for PS4. It's coming out, I think, next month or something. Again, not a particularly good game,

but those are their games, you know, like, now they're starting to try to work on other stuff, and Cosmic Space Heroine's been confirmed to be getting a copy with them. That's Seaboy's new game. Yeah, do you know what the run is? Yeah, they tell you what it is. It was 1500 for Breach and Clear,

because that's the minimum for Vita games, and it was, it's 1980 for Saturday Morning RPG, which seems to be the minimum for PS4 games, because the discs are cheaper than cards. But they said they're going to do bigger runs in the future, because that wasn't enough. You know, like, they didn't even remotely fill the demand, which is really cool.

Awesome. And, I don't know, I know you like Seaboy games, so. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, when I want something physical, it's because I like something I give a shit about it. No, exactly. So, yeah.

So yeah, I mean, go check them out. Unfortunately, there's no products to buy on their site right now, because Breach and Clear is sold out. Because it's limited. And we're just waiting for Saturday Morning RPG to come out, but it's really cool, it's exciting. Is it going to be like a true Mondo, follow them on Twitter, wait for the announcement at noon?

No. 11.30 a.m., be there on the day. All right. Buy your game. And they said that they think they're going to split it, and they're going to do half of them at 11.30 a.m., half of them at P.M. for people in the other side of the world. That's fair.

No, it's like, they've taken a lot of really good feedback, and it seems like it's going to be really good. And, like, they started shipping shit out the day of. They're so on point. Everything went perfectly. Sorry. Everything was rambling about it, but like, everything. Everything really are rambling.

But it was really perfect. That meant that everything was ready to go, and all they needed to do was slap stickers on boxes with addresses. Everything was, like, perfect. Because I got my Shovel Knight box, and I blew it up, and it's sitting there, and I want to put something in it.

Yeah, but you're dead. It's possible. It'll be a tight fit. Strike the earth. Strike the earth. Put that barrier halfway into the ground, and then we'll shovel it. Then shovel it.

The reason I thought of this is because, man, I really hope they do skull girls. That'd be fun. I'd love to get a skull girl's disc. So, if you have a mail you want to send to us, send it to superbestfriendcastatgmail.com. That's superbestfriendcastatgmail.com. Oh.

That's the email address that you should send your letter to. That's the quietest one yet. Yeah. That's very, very quiet. Is it because you're ashamed of your words and deeds, Willie? If you do, then it might sound a little something like this. We got one coming in from Josephine. Josephine says,

congratulations on your celebrated forfeiting of personal freedoms, Mr. McMussles. Ha-ha. I jest, I jest, I jest. They grew up so fast. Okay. That makes it. That's all amazing.

Thank you. The idea of a holiday wedding is incredibly appealing to me, but I never knew anyone who had one before. But I never knew anyone who had one before, so I wanted to ask if it was a good idea or not until now. Would you recommend a themed wedding, or were there any unplanned disadvantages with having one that you could do? Um, I'd like, you know, can't do Christmas.

I was literally just thinking. You literally can't. If you want, if you want like a good amount of people to show up. Yeah. And like in the States, maybe even Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving's probably rough, too. You dress up like the pilgrim. Maybe take Easter.

You know, maybe Valentine's Day. No, Easter's big. Well, I was surprised when, so I would check in with Facebook on Sunday morning and I saw two other people on my timeline and got married on Halloween as well, actually. I mean, here's the thing. It depends on like, you know, how much you hate this,

because me and my wife hate it a lot, is that we do not want children under a certain age that could spontaneously cry and like ruin our lives. Yeah, that's right. Your life would be ruined. Your life would be ruined, if like, you know, Umberts, Samer, Vowels or whatever, the kind of child that is.

So at Halloween, you can either really avoid that if you have a wedding or any type of party or a function on Halloween, that people will be like, well, obviously, if they're like respectful, they go, well, I'm not going to bring my small baby child over. So I'll leave it with, you know, family, friends,

parents, overnight and whatever. So you can kind of avoid that. But, or you can have the opposite where like, oh, there's no one that can take care of my child or whatever. So I am bringing my children. And there was just like one child or two, but you know, whatever, it wasn't that big of a deal.

But that's the only kind of disadvantage I saw, because it mostly people were like, like any time we went to a store or something to pick us up for the wedding, and we mentioned we're gay married, and all, when you get married, fucking Halloween. And they go, oh, shit,

it's the coolest thing I've ever heard of. And I'm like, yeah, no, it's pretty cool, right? So we got lots of like fun compliments like that. And like we said, the candy bar and all that costume stuff worked out. It was all worth it for that one old relative of someone's who was an old guy wearing a pirate hat and an iPad. With the pirate hat.

I love that guy. Come on, Ryan. Yeah. I was just going to say. What could you possibly have to say? I had an idea. I had an idea. He's been workshopping it.

Just, but aside from that, I can't think of any other holidays where we would either work or be anything. Yeah. Oh, President's Day. Everyone dressed up as a fucking tap. Well, the one that I thought, the one that I thought is that if you're

from the States and you're American, depending on how irresponsible your 4th of July is, you could have a kick-ass 4th of July wedding. 4th of July is not bad, maybe. It's fireworks and gun shooting. 4th of July is maybe. And eagle fights. Eagle fights, that's it.

And NASCAR watching. And running. Running out of my first web. Running out of, yeah, 4th of July. Did any of us celebrate Canada today this year? I used to go watch fireworks at the police. I went to a barbecue at a friend's house. You stay out there for a good time.

I forgot. Watching events and hedges. When I lived in the country, like the whole town had this big get-together thing, was a big corn roast. And you, being the mayor, had to preside over this. Yeah, actually it was like my grandpa. Was it a bru-ha-ha?

Sorry? Was it a bru-ha-ha? It was a little bit. Was it on the French side of town? Was it people that lived on the many, many acres that your ancestors owned? Yeah, basically. Everyone knows everyone.

Dear Uncle Zybatzu, Simo from Finland wants to know, Me and my wife are expecting our first child next year, since you guys are all experts. All matters concerning child... Chilling babies! This is the worst podcast this question could ever have been asked. Yeah, but clearly the tone has shifted

now that one of us is married to mature matter. Yeah, yeah, of course. Okay, I have taken care of many babies. I was wondering if you had any tips on how to combine our gaming hobby and taking care of a small human. I think all games without a pause button and feature are out. What else should we take into consideration?

So, I want to say, was it a week ago? Maybe about two weeks ago on the bombcast, was talking about him trying to play metal gear and how it's like the arrangement you have to make with your wife, where it's like, is it okay if I cannot hear the child? Yes? Are you sure? Yes? Okay.

Then you go downstairs for... And you hide with the spiders. And you hide down there for maybe what an hour or whatever you get. And just appreciate that video games were played for an hour. And then the wife yells at you, and then you got to go back up and make sure the baby doesn't die. Yeah, because don't buy headphones.

I'd say handhelds would be a smart investment and then you could be playing them wherever, then go see your baby and whatever your baby's screaming about, at least have your game in your head. I distinctly remember reading a thread on NeoGaff where a guy was overjoyed. He didn't have a particularly big place and he would play his Wii U and his Vita on remote play

from all over his house where he needed to be. That would work too. Yeah, and those work perfectly. The Wii U has a very restrictive range. Put your gaming stuff in the baby nursery room. No, there's a noise problem. I'm going to stick with the handhelds one on that. I want to be immersed.

There's a baby on remote play so you can see it on the side monitor. Yeah, the side monitors and that stuff. But you stay committed. My advice is to, assuming you have a decent job, work 10 extra hours a week at your job and use that money to hire a babysitter even when you're home. Yeah. Nanny then.

And yeah, you'll have less free time overall but you'll have better free time because you don't have that thing in the back of your head of like, I'm enjoying myself but does that mean I killed my baby? Okay, so now answer that for the period of time directly after the baby is born where everybody gets a vacation to take after baby. Because they're not at work right when the baby's born.

Paternal leave exists. Paternal leave exists. Take half of your paternal leave and put it into nannying. No. Man, we sure would have the guys to ask. Don't repair. Don't repair. Don't replace parental care with a nanny. That's not great.

No, but for video games do it. Okay, alternative... I'm gonna go with you on that one. Alternatively, you can leave a gun in the baby's crib so that it can defend itself. It's against all threats. Yeah, that's right. Alright, why are we beating around the bush?

Take your baby to the cliff. And if it climbs back up, that means it's yours. Throw their cubs into cliffs and raise the ones no. No, the real answer is that my advice to you would have been to not have a baby if you want to keep playing video games. Well, that's why this letter started with, it's already on the way. Someone has no force, right?

The stakes were made. You guys are terrible. Jokes, jokes, jokes. That's what you tune into this podcast for. Okay. Some people seem to still be upset. Shut up. Arnold has an update. I'm sorry that our customers are still unhappy.

Arnold has an update on the Punisher Mayor. Yeah! The Philippines wants him for president. Of what? Just wanted to give an update on the presidential run of an update about Duerte. It's crazy to think this is real. Everyone wants him to run including anonymous businessmen

who plan to fund him one billion pesos for his campaign. People waited for him to file his candidacy, which the deadline was October 16th, and he never showed up. Because he was too busy punishing. So near the end, a member of the political party he's in filed for presidency so that the member could then be substituted by him since that's okay in the rules even after the deadline.

They did that, the member stepped down and named Duerte the substitute. He said no. Wow. So he doesn't want to do it. He's done a lot of good. Matt's right. He's got too much punishing. He's still got to work on his town.

Once you got Punisher, Frank Castle cannot be mayor of New York City. His effectiveness dived. The fucking Green Goblin was mayor of everything. Yeah, but he's a super villain. That's within his skill set. Yeah, but Thomas Carcetti on the other hand. He's a good boy.

Alright. It's unfortunate that that's not going all the way. But like a Punisher president. This city has too much crime. I think that the nation should bomb it. I just hope to continue seeing good things from him. The nation should bomb the country. That's what happens when you go macro.

You're not shooting jaywalkers anymore. You have to take a big picture and that's how Punisher becomes a super villain. Generally speaking, is this area bad? Yeah, maybe just fireball. We had a talk like eight years ago when we were in college and we were like, what happens when the Punisher just kills all the criminals and they're all dead?

What does he do? Does he start just putting his gun in the mouth of grandmas? No, I mean, in that scenario, you then have to make a what if comic, but you can't say... Well, what if Spider-Man made Uncle Ben again out of webbing? That happened. Are you sure?

No, I'm pretty sure it didn't. The unfortunate thing is that would need a higher power to get rid of the criminals because he could never do it alone. I mean, he killed them more of a universe but that was the what if scenario. He was the big nuke to get rid of the X-Men because they were like, I'm not throwing that shit. No, you see, the Punisher knew that the X-Men

would have a big dumb talk and talk in grandiose fashion. He knew that. He knew the lore of the X-Men comic books and that's how he killed them. Like Xavier and Magneto have this big long talk. Do you remember how he kills a Hulk? He shot him in the head.

He just shoots him. That works? No, no, what he does is he shot Bruce Banner. And he throws a little tracer on him and then Banner's waking up in an alley and he's like, what? And then he just put a gun on his face and just blows him away. All he really needed to do

was sell the movie rights for all mutants to Fox. And then technically mutants wouldn't exist. And then you lead to how to all mutants getting killed. They just be gifted people left. Oh no. Connor says

imagine waking up tomorrow and Indivisible is funded. Friendly reminder that still needs pushing as of writing. I think we... It's a question we had 13 days to go. That's hilarious. We talked about the possible like we want to help and we don't know how to help.

That's no question. It's an Indivisible push. So what do we got to do? We want to help push. If you're out there and you haven't played it, the Portal Type is going to be available this Tuesday. Honestly, if that doesn't help, then it's not meant to be.

For various reasons it's not meant to be. This is the first time this has ever happened. Getting your demo up on a console now to reach as many people as possible. It needs a explosive spark of interest from some sort of...

If every one of you listeners... If Drake would make a song about Indivisible and Ajna where he's doing the little dance that looks like what your creepy uncle's dance like but now it's cool.

If every one of you listeners throws in $10 it'll be done. If it doesn't get done you get your money back. So I advocate it. I advocate it hard. But no. This could be one of the crowdfunding tragedies of our time. Nothing will be goddess.

I still see a lot. The reverse situation is way more tragic. I still see a lot of people saying I'll buy it when it's done. It's not gonna be done by it! God... We got one

coming in from Sam and he just wants to know Otacon and Yoko start dating. They make out what happens. They both explode. Nanomachines. No. Here's what happens.

They both explode and nothing happens. They date for maybe two dates and then it just fizzles out like nothing. Because Otacon's too cool. Because Otacon's too cool and she wants something more and he's like nah bitch and neither of their powers interact with one another.

Otacon just wants back with his mom. Yep. Stepmom. Yeah, but that's not what he's thinking. Oh no! That's my Otacon. He's back with his stepmom while thinking about his step sister.

Ow! Gotta heal. You need to look up the live action attack on Titan. And you need to look up Gundam Seed for the best crying And I need to point out something that I don't think it's ever come up on camera.

You're aware that Otacon Otacon's step sister is that he's way into Emma-Emerick is voiced by Jennifer Hale the voice of Naomi Campbell, right? So when he gets with Naomi

it's probably cause cause she sounds like whatever! She still sounds like his sister! Liam there's one coming in from Jordan that says, Liam I'm sorry Wow, that's a nice start I'll just

I'll just leave Careful Deer adequately satisfactory allies this email may get a bit weird but it has to do with Liam's face I'm much younger than Liam and when he's on screen I get the urge

to either ruffle his hair or call him Champ I thought he was gonna steal his face Is this relatively universal or am I just fucking weird? a little bit of a calm face universal undesired ruffling has occurred

the worry is whether cause it depends it's part of your head so it's like this could continue until you're like 50 until forever I'm gonna lose all my hair eventually but you're basically gonna turn

into Trudeau in that he's in his fucking mid 40s he looks like he's 25 it looks like what someone we went to college with we certainly hope I do probably not though it's all the weeds statistically speaking I can't keep this up for too much longer

if there's a one year sliding scale where you just turn it into Carl from Aquatune oh man you know what I wanna call somebody out there's somebody on my facebook list that keeps liking hot global news I don't know who it is but it has to be somebody cause hot global news what is hot global news

it's a fake ass news website that every day posts an article about how high Justin Trudeau is and how fast he's gonna legalize weed and somebody on my fucking facebook friends list has to be liking that shit all the time you made that joke on this hour

it's 22 minutes it's gotta be real yeah he was gonna have an iron fist situation when he's 40 he's gonna somehow be sworn in as the president of Japan and everyone's gonna go what the fuck how did this happen I don't know how to handle it

I don't know how to handle it but it happened not even the emperor actually cutting through the lines we don't even do that anymore the emperor of new shin japan the camera zoom isn't on Liam that's what happened

and lastly we got one coming in from paid social media jobs take care of you I'm sorry I was listening to Liam with his neopets and one of my social media jobs says hi do you use apps on your smartphone or tablet well now you can get paid to test those apps like games fitness apps

or cooking apps check it out you see the apps market is now multi-billion per year industry with literally millions of apps available and released every day app developers make a killing this opened up a whole new market where you can get paid to test apps

click here to get started app corner the new platform connects and it gets you to review and get paid to test the hottest new games click here to join now is the first job offer that's a good question paid advertising but social media

jobs have to this is going to be one of the most successful ones ever sent now 100,000 people have heard you say that I forgot that the subject is get paid to test apps open bracket like angry birds close bracket

that amazing app why wouldn't we go for that I heard that successful did you know that thousands of Canadians are making millions of dollars just sitting at home not working click here to find out did you know that millions of Canadians are making thousands of dollars

did you know that hundreds of Canadians are making no money governments hate it I saw this one weird trick I saw an ad the other day that was like if you think a lot

government hate it this man makes tens of thousands working from home find out how and I just went haaa that formula is rock solid you just need the right plug in

it's a fucking mad live at this point this ugly son of a bitch paints happy little trees find out how the U.S. Air Force hates it this one weird trick to make your paintings brighter use a black canvas

Van Gogh hates it that's how Bob Ross is so good stuff like 20 years he's a fly boy we've made our way through the storm the shit storm has cleared

what's happening in November the shit storm will linger on in a digital format so I think most other stuff's continuing Metal Gear is going on Undertale will continue Life is Strange Life is Strange will continue

I don't know where we're gonna get to on Undertale, VisaV like where we are this week so this week we finish it we're gonna loop back around cause we have more to finish got some cleanup break and then there might be more a fabulous crime time

on Sunday though that thing that we walked in on the other day I still can't believe you did that game and then we gotta rev up our ATVs and roll back into Westeros soon yeah that's true

so that's what's coming yeah I think mostly continuing and of course next weekend once again Liam, Pat and I are going to be at Geek Fast Montreal Matt's gonna be being married so that's important on the moon of the honeys I will defeat this final DLC boss

no the final DLC boss is like 30 years from now no this is the final DLC boss for this game oh for this game there's another game later that's up to a lot of various things the next game is the the next game is the Suffering careful with that ring you got your fucking finger off I don't have the ring on now cause we're getting the proper ring

sent to me or gotten for me even for matrimony gotta respect in between this game yeah straight up you know what's really stupid about Darksiders you go to Volgrim and he's like let me respect you

yeah can't you call it like a cool can't you call it a cool Darksiders thing let me reallocate your points anyway what are you looking forward to guys

I'm going to play more Assassin's Creed and Fallout is coming out next week and patch 3.1 but that will be after the next podcast so syndicate I guess Tales of the Borderlands probably going to get a crack start on that see what's going on

actually there's a couple other things I picked up but I'll hold that close to the chest until I actually get through it I just want to finish Corpse Party you've been working on it I've been going slow and off and on but it's good it hasn't taken the primary spot it's been in the tertiary spot

it's not polished enough that I want to play it straight for 30 hours but it's really good well I'm on Honeymoon lots of down time I'm just lagging down the beach so I'm going to try to read as many comics a book or two and play the finish

Prince of Persia and all that Vita stuff and probably finish off some of those iPad games I guess I'm going to miss fucking Spectre by the way I was about to say it can you not see it there I can't see it on the island

that has a resort and nothing else there's a movie theater on that beach I'll periscope it to you what is periscope I hate it it's a bad Skype it's for live event viewing let's point that

I'm streaming this thing right now why would you ever watch anything live why would you ever watch anything live they used it during like a lot of a good example was the New York Comic Con Capcom panel where they had no recording of it

so someone just tells it you can but do you see the thing with periscope it's fault hey everyone come look at this thing on periscope and someone goes no just put it on Twitch or anything

put this new thing there's good applications for it it's a good name the only thing I've heard about periscope that was something that was like interest me is people were saying Dan Reichert's on periscope right now screaming at children

at a wrestling show telling them to get jobs it's been getting a lot of use in protests and things like that for journalism purposes as well things like that there are some applications I can barely use Skype that's fine

you barely need to do anything to use Skype no one needs to see what you're up to Pat it's okay hey guys just going up on platform fantasy you want the periscope of my TV that's all blown out where I'm forming the mounts

that's what they want nobody uses it for games because you're playing it on a thing so you use Twitch or rumor has it YouTube streaming but I still don't understand fine unless it's those dog ones

mine is just black YouTube that's worth a star what is it, Yumacon just went by or whatever this weekend so if I ever had to go to Detroit I had periscope just so that you knew I was okay where's Wally's body where did the camera stop

follow the stream so you get to the stream location and you're not there but your phone is and then the mystery starts I like it you you you

you you you you