Castle Super Beast - SBFC 119: Welcome to Patschwitz

Episode Date: November 17, 2015

We hear about Fallouts, Lisas, Beatxonics, Turks, and maybe even some Caicos.

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Sorry if you're hearing a lot of beeping this week. There's a fucking penicent uprising going on outside our door. It's protest day. The word is protest, but that means something. It's the whole civil service. It's the civil service. Not the teachers. They want the government to reform the kindergartners so they're easier to work with.

Yeah, these kindergartners, they're punk bitches. They won't listen. They won't listen. They all speak the wrong language. Sally, do math. No. Remember there's that one sentence joke where they go, listen to all those people supporting the teachers out there, and it's just Ms. Krabapple having to sign it says honk if you

love cookies. I'd honk for that. If I had a car, I'd honk for that. Yeah, forgive the peasant uprising. Yeah. They will be dealt with soon by the Canadian royal guard. Swiftly. God, whenever I hear the word uprising, my brain thinks of the scariest version of that,

which is the one from children of men in my opinion. Oh, that's scary. That is the most terrifying thing when the uprising is starting and you look out your window and you see that marching down the streets. You're like, oh no. Fuck. Oh no, dig the hole. It's funny that because I have an anecdote later about also about children of men.

A humorous anecdote. You know, it's a humorous, humorous, goofy thing. Take me with the children of men in which the children are gone and the world's falling apart. That's humorous. It is. I remember that girl got shot in the head from the motorcycle. Dude, man.

Oh, I had a good sensible chuckle over that one. Fucking hilarious. It was over. Not too much. Not too. A sensible. It's a sensible amount of chuckling. It's a sensible chuckle.

It's my favorite magazine. It's great. I subscribed to it. I would subscribe to that every day. What are we at? Hey, we're at 119, right? We're at episode 119. What's our esoteric fact for the number one that you're now owning?

The thing? You want me to own it. You damn straight. You don't want it to go away. I'm going to let it go. So you did it. It's here. It ain't going anywhere.

119 is the thing that comes after 119. Slam me with the number fact. Well, 119 is the number that describes Project 119, which is the People's Republic of China's project to target Olympic sports that they usually suck at so that they can win more medals. So we're going to research at, I don't know, triathlon. It was for the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics. The Project 119 was let's focus on the shit we always get our ass blown out at, like track

field, swimming, rowing, canoeing, and kayaking. That's interesting. Staging as well. Did you hear the news about the marathon in Bangkok this week? No. So in Bangkok, there was a 13 kilometer marathon schedule. I thought you were gearing up for like a bad joke. A Bangkok joke?

No, no, no, no. No, wait, let me finish. And the organizers made a mistake and sent them down the wrong road and it ended up being a 17 kilometer run advertised as a 13k one. Oh. It turned into a hypermarathon where people could have died. That's not how that's supposed to do. I know.

You train for the exact amount. You train for the exact amount you need to do. Exactly. That's good. Oh no. Damn. Keep it up, Bangkok organizers. You got to keep P119 going.

I'm really sad that we started doing this before podcast 66 because then of course you could go, 66 is the dumb plan that George Lucas wrote down in Revenge of the Sith. What should the bad man say now? When we cap out at 302, we have to loop again. So we'll get to 66 if that's what it is. There will not be a 300. That's cute. Well, that number doesn't exist.

Any significant numbers of double digit value have been missed forever. Yeah. It's too bad. You can go write them on Twitter. Yeah. You can retroact when you go back and do all of them. One and two, those are going to be tough. Tough.

One. Those are going to be real tough. One. That's a Jet Lee movie. That is a Jet Lee movie. Dude, that movie sucks. It's great. And it's also the moniker for one, Mr. Anderson.

Oh man. Ah, it's also a song. The writer of One Punch Man. It's a lullaby stuff. One goes all over the place. It's the worldliest number. But we're not doing episode one. We're doing episodes one night at least.

You know what we should do? We should go back to episode one and find out what the topics were that week and then just completely redo the whole podcast. Completely redo it for the beginning? Yeah. That's super best friendcast. Rebirth. Yeah.

Yeah. Rebirth. HD remix. Yeah. But do we have to talk about the news that happened that day? No. It's super easy. Remake it.

No. Yeah. No. No. We're doing the podcast and talking about those games, but as a retrospective. No. No. We redo the exact same podcast, but this time we add trophies.

We should do directors commentaries on the podcast. Oh yeah. That would be easy. Directive. Oh. So that was the episode one of the podcast was the wonderful one. Oh one. Ghost song.

Project Phoenix. Salty vet. Collusion. And going nuts. That's it. That's it. Those are all still relevant. Yeah.

Project Phoenix. To our lifestyles. Project Phoenix is going to stay relevant seemingly forever. For a little bit yet. For a little bit yet. Wait. Really? Project Phoenix.

We talked about that. Yeah. Yeah. That was the first episode. That was the first episode. That was the first episode. Why we talk about it? Because it was relevant.

It was the beginning. It was the start of the time. Like the fucking... I thought you meant dead Phoenix. Stay Phoenix. The game was. That's why I was so... Yeah, that's why I'm a fucker when we talk about dead Phoenix.

Yeah. I'm actually... I'm actually a thing. Why would anyone talk about dead Phoenix? It could have been awesome. It's the fucking most ironic appropriate name for a game ever. Because it was part of the Capcom five. That turned into the Capcom zero.

It's a game called Dead Phoenix that was canceled and no one ever saw. Except for that one. The Capcom one. Except for the one that... Except for the like... R-E-4 and... No, he's talking about keeping them exclusive. So there was only one.

Yeah. It's only the Capcom one now. Capcom one, that's true. That's true. P-P-N-O-3 or whatever. Yeah. Which if you do... If you'd changed the letters and numbers you could say that's almost like 119.

Yeah. Well, it's not close at all. It's not close at all. It's not close at all. You know, without P-N-O-3. You brought it up. Yeah. Without it to the bit?

No, I'm not committed to that. You didn't learn from Liam's mistakes? No. You have to commit. All wall-drop bits like you wouldn't believe. Without P-N-O-3, HUNK's music and R-E-4 wouldn't be as amazing as it is. You know what? That was worth it then.

That's what that was worth. That's 100% what that game's about. Now I'm so glad I tracked down the basement music for that one episode. Oh man! Because it's worth it. There's a bunch of clowns farting in my basement! I'm glad that composer got blown up after putting out that abomination. Yeah.

There has to be a story behind something that terrible. Well, yeah. It took years to catch up to him though. The story is so much better than you could ever expect, too. Yeah. So I have been faking it for decades. What? Decades!

How? How can you live? How did you get away with this for so long? See, that's called long-term booking. Yeah. No one checks in Japan. No one checks. No one checks.

And like, he held down the con button for a decade. Yeah, yeah. He did. And it was extra ridiculous because he was getting nailed as a composing miracle. Visionary. Because he went deaf. Because he was so good. Yeah.

I feel like, oh man! Like a prodigy. We're just going to take it even double for granted that he's doing it for real. Yeah, yeah. It's like, not only... You're already lying. Why do you have to double down and tell everybody that you're deaf too? When he started to go deaf, he should have probably quit while he was ahead so that no

one found him out. Yeah. But if you're in the position that your amazing dumb lie somehow worked, you're like, wait a minute! How far! How far can I take this? How far can I take this? Pretty fucking...

Decades later. Just so that anyone can look this up. I don't know his name. I don't remember. I remember quite a few. If you search Resident Evil... If you search Resident Evil Composer Deaf... You'll almost certainly find it.

Just drill him down to the scandal and his disability as a person. Just like, that's all he is now. And the apprentice that came out to tell the truth. He was like, oh, you know who needs to go to hell? Whoever the fuck showed Kojima that they had stole that video? Yeah! God damn it, that fucking clip. And he's so embarrassed, I feel so bad.

You actively damaged Metal Gear Solid 4. You can go check out this clip of Kojima doing an interview. And these guys play for him the Metal Gear Sons of Liberty song, the thing it was ripped off from. It's an old Russian composer. An old Russian hymn, exactly. And Kojima hears it and he's just like, oh! He flips over like an album cover and starts frantically doing things like, what the fuck?

How did I not know about that? Why does he have to be stealing all this music? Yeah, he's just looking. From 100 year old dead Russian guys. And he's just on the spot, like not reacting too hard, but clearly embarrassed by it. You know, looking at reading the back going, what is this? What is this, huh? It sucks.

It sucks, because that song was great. And he probably never knew. No, no, no. Why would he? Exactly. You hand that job to somebody. You should have done that after the game came out! God damn it!

I missed that theme. Everyone missed that theme in MGS4. Fuck, it was clearly missing. So it's like, we want a world where the rip-off continues. It wasn't hurting nobody. Yeah. It was old. It was old.

It was a dead guy. It was a Russian and dead. It's in the spirit of... Man. If you're dead, you don't care. No. And if you are alive in Russia heaven and you're looking down, you'd probably be super stoked if somebody ripped off your music.

Your estate probably cares. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the problem. I hate my estate. Your estate is... Fucking sully in my name all over. Your estate of your estate. Without getting in your way.

The state of it. The state of my estate. Liam, take a seat. I hear this podcast will be good this week because it feels like we're rambling this so far. Ah, Liam, what do you got? Most of my week was spent playing like a bunch of games for 10 minutes and then putting them down.

Okay, so... As I tried to move from game to game to game. So lots of first impressions? At some point... I'm not going to talk about most of them because it's just like, oh, what is this? What... how good is Tokobot really? Is it? It's good.

But I don't really want to play it. Oh, that kind of good. Yeah. Oh, that's depressing. So I actually watched It Follows for some reason and that was a really, like, slow, entertaining horror movie. I got that, but I didn't watch it yet. I might have the same thing.

You think it falls apart in the last act? Yeah, yeah, definitely. That's the only knock against the door. The one scene at the end with their plan is dumb. It's just so stupid. It's dumb. You see that Quinn and Tarantino went on Twitter and just started complaining to the director, like, you had the best idea ever.

You fucked it all up, man. You fucked it all up. That's a decent Tarantino impression. So then the guy goes, the guy goes, hey, Quinn, really appreciate your feedback. Why don't we get together and I can give you some notes about your movies. Oh. But that's the thing. Why don't we get together and discuss this?

That's funny. If that happens, he's already won. He's already won. The thing that Otto played after was the movie about sleep paralysis. The nightmare. Which I watched, like, half of. No, there's no way. And I was like, this is terrible.

Anyone that's actually had sleep paralysis, in my opinion, that has seen this movie, they're like, eh, this takes a really weird look at it. And it's like, it's okay, but it's not. But anyone that hasn't really had sleep paralysis, they will. I remember you walking away from it being terrified of sleep paralysis. I did not sleep well for an entire week. I could barely finish it because it was just like, I'm not feeling the fear of sleep paralysis. I looked at the trailer and I wish it was just interviews and just a documentary and not, like,

reenacted silliness. I wish it was hard fiction. It mostly is talking to the people documentary style. But yeah, I know what you mean, the silliness. Because every time I cut the way to something, I always just feel like Unsolved Mysteries Cam. No, Mysteries is terrifying. That's true.

I always feel like we're going to that shop. Unsolved Mysteries. Robert Stack is a scary dude. He's never aged. Never coming back. The thing about Unsolved Mysteries is they always zoom in on somebody's face, either a victim or the killer, and they zoom in on the eyes for like two minutes straight. And they put ghost trails on it every time.

That shit's unsolved. I hate that. There was one game I played like a significant amount of this week, and it's Superbeat Zonic, which just came out this week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So have you heard of it, Munch? I've looked into that after we were talking about Persona for a while. Yeah, exactly.

I looked up that in comparison and song. Oh, you showed me that. Yeah, I showed it to you, exactly. So it's by the DJ Max guys who, of course, shut down last year, and this is their first game coming back into it. So unfortunately, they don't have a big pool of music to dip back into. But they got guilty here. They have Heavy Day, and there's a BlazBlue DLC track coming.

But yeah, Heavy Day's in there. It's just a really, really good rhythm game. It really shows their intimate understanding of the genre. And it's interesting that Persona for Dancing All Night came out just before this game, because the two play very similarly, with the notes coming from the inside out. But everything about this game shows a knowledge of how you should make a rhythm game, whereas Dancing All Night is bogged down by amateur mistakes rather than deeply ingrained problems, with one exception.

But it's a really, really good rhythm game. I'm thinking about it in the context of next year's top 10 that I'm going to have to do, and I'm having a hard time drawing any criticisms to it. Because the only criticisms I'm drawing are it's not the way I want. It's not a different game entirely, and the music's not 10-on-10 amazing. But the music's still fantastic. The note bank is closer to the center, right? The note bank?

Like the actual game playing area. Oh, like the highway. Yeah, well, there's the note chart, and then there's the bank where they hit, and you tap. Yeah, it's pulled in a little further compared to Persona. Yeah, the main thing is all the animations in the background are quite dark, and it's all just cool patterns. And it's much easier to see, and in Persona there are little orbs, or little circles that go up. In Superbeat, there are these big rectangles that go up. They're impossible to master.

I looked at it for maybe 30 seconds total, and the readability was like a hundred times. Yeah, no, like this game is super fun, and it's just like old DJ Max games, where when you get into it, you really get into it, because shit's designed so good. In Persona, you only have what? You have seven inputs, right? You have the face buttons, and then you have the shoulders or sticks, right, to flick? You have seven inputs, right? Superbeat has, like, ten inputs, because the two sticks are independent, the two shoulder buttons are independent, and you have the three face buttons on each side.

And each of those inputs has different hold, like, buttons, or hold icons to go along with it. But it's less complicated. Yeah, well, because the levels are more well-designed. The note patterns are easier to follow, and so you see it happening, and it's easier to react to, whereas Persona 4 Dancing All Night's note patterns are way more like scattershot and stuff. Do you think it's safe to say that an existing IP becoming a rhythm game should probably stick to a formula that's been proven instead of inventing one? I think it's safe to say you should just make sure to consult with people who are, like, professionals in that genre.

Because Persona 4 Dancing All Night's really close to being, like, fine and good and stuff, but, like, it just makes super amateur mistakes that you might never notice if it was your first time making a rhythm game. It's like the scoring system being totally busted. Something you say was, like, solved, like, five, ten years ago by everybody who's- Way before you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, exactly.

Like, baffling, baffling, stupid mistakes you've made for Persona 4. It's like, if you made a fighting game that seemed altogether totally decent, but, like, if you're blocking, you can't get thrown. Yeah. Like, there's one or two things. Well, like, you know, like, I talked about Dancing All Night. One of the problems is with the health system, where in a thousand-note song, a hypothetical thousand-note song, if you fuck up two notes at the end of the song on a harder difficulty,

you fail, because you don't have enough time or enough notes to restore your health to a passing state. You know what I mean? Because in Dancing All Night, you have to be in the past- Because it's all multipliers. No, not because of multipliers, just because your health just goes into the red, and then you can't pass, because there's not enough notes left to restore your health. Oh, that's dumb. You get it?

That's even dumb enough when I thought it was because the- No, that's the scoring system. Where the notes towards the end are valued higher, and it fucks up the scoring. So, like, say you have 100 notes, right? You play 98 notes perfectly, and you fuck up the last two. It puts you into the red. Why the fuck that puts you into the red? Two.

Two. On the hardest difficulty. And then, guess what? You can't pass, because you botched two notes. So you had to have fucked up early. And as an example, two notes in that 1000 note song is 0.2%. And the problem is that it's looking for you to play very well consistently, but if you happen to play poorly, even though you played well consistently at the end of a song,

it fucks you over, and you fail. And that's bullshit. That's like if you were doing a test, and there was 100 questions, and you messed up the last two, and you failed, even though you got 98%, 100% correct. Like, that's poor shit. Games like Project Diva look for an 80% completion. So they're looking for consistent performance.

80% is a trend that you're able to do it. They're looking for a total number. They're looking for a trend rather than statistical outsiders that are fucking you up. I'm thinking about, say, like Guitar Hero, or Rock Band, where you play through it, and if you tank hard enough, the song stops. But at a certain point, if you tank towards the end, you still pass through the song, and then it checks back and sees how many you've cleared. Yeah, exactly.

I understand. And yeah, Super Reet, of course, fixes that, because DJ Maxx has had that not happen for years. Anyway, I'm talking more about dancing all night than Super Reet's on at this point. Well, because one does something right, and then it almost doesn't even bear mentioning, because it's just doing it like it's supposed to, and flaws are a lot easier to elaborate on.

It's the rare instance where the games are so identical, gameplay-wise, that you can say one pretty much objectively beats the other out. The only subjective difference is, hey, how much do you like Persona? Which is the difference between me buying Dancing All Night but not playing it, and me not buying Super Reet at all. So I'm losing in both scenarios here. I wish they had just... I wish we could switch the gameplay for one to the other.

Yeah, because then Persona 4 Dancing All Night would be fucking amazing. I don't care about the dancing graphics. I want the music. I bought it for Persona 4 Model Viewer. Yeah, basically. But I don't know, if you want a really good rhythm game, it's super... It's really fantastic. It's just as good as the old DJ Maxx stuff, and DJ Maxx has always been amazing, so...

Yeah, go play it. Not to make Persona 4 sound like an absolute trash, because you tell me about those things. I can see those mistakes once you've pointed them out, but I still had some fun with it. No, me too, for sure. And God, what was I going to say? Once you turn off the in-game voices...

Yeah, I remember you were complaining about that. There are some like... Yeah, I'm doing it! There are some really objective problems with Dancing All Night. Like, there's no 16th notes. It seems like it's an engine problem or something. They can only go up to 8th notes, and so any song that needs to have a 16th note...

It literally can't do it, and that's fucked. That's complete horseshit. That's like an RTS coming out with no hot keys or something. Like... No, I mean, it's serviceable in the same way that Love Live on the Vita is serviceable. Love Live has terrible production values, but the gameplay is fine, whereas Persona 4's gameplay is busted, and it's got amazing production values.

That's the best production, man. It's so fancy. Yeah, exactly. And I hope these guys succeed now, because I don't want to see them go bankrupt again like they did last year. Oh! Because that was a scare, but hey... Oh, wow, okay. Never forget seeds after Clovershed.

Yeah, basically. Oh, yeah, that was great. Yeah, it worked out. But yeah, that's pretty much all I played this week. Super read. Really, really good game. Cool. Matt? So, I was away for the DLC campaign last week. Was there any Micro?

No, because when you're at an all-inclusive, there's no Micro. I literally paid all up front. But I want to... We made a really, me and the wife made a really pretty goofy, fun video that will have all the fun, goofy stuff over our week of the honeys, but I want to just detail some of the dips that we had. Are you going to talk about that fucking child? I'm going to talk about that fucking kid.

This child got me angry. I'm totally clean on this, so I'm excited. I love eating kids. Kids are the worst. So, just off the bat really, really quickly. Turks and Caicos is a very expensive place to actually live and vacation to. There you go. Turks and Caicos is a very expensive place,

and I'd spent more money on this vacation than I had any thing that we've done to go out. Sure. Whatever. We're only going to do one, right? We're only going to do one. And I thought that was like, holy shit, this is a lot of money, we're spending on this, but that's fine, I'm sure it'll be worth it.

So, the resort that we kind of decided on, since we're so busy with the wedding, Melissa, my wife's sister, said, I've been to this place, it was really good. She was there 10 years ago. And we go to this resort and we're like, hey, this looks alright. Okay, yeah, it looks fine. And we go in and we research it a little bit,

because we just booked the trip. This place was built in 1984. Hearing No Kids Allowed, I believe. Yes. This place was built in 1984 and it looked it. No, great. Because I were in kind of 1984. So, then we saw all these other resorts along the way.

So, we were doing strip, right? And we researched it and these places cost three to four times more for the exact same amount of time that you spend there. Yeah. So, at first we were like, oh, we should have researched it, we should have gone to those other places. Oh, did you see that? They massaged your balls over there.

We don't get that shit. And then we look at it and I'm like, no, babe. And she's like, no. Never. Would you ever? No, we're not that special. Actually, that would have torn us apart.

If like $10,000 was used on this fucking thing. Just doing the taxes on the honeymoon. Hey, hey, you go swim. I gotta take care of this or we're in trouble. Put on the little visor cap. Yeah, exactly. But like Willie said, no children, which is like the main thing after we went to Cuba,

children more or less ruined it, right? Because children are the worst. So, we go on this thing and there's no children anywhere. Well, if you're a child, stop listening. Stop listening. You shouldn't be, really. But anytime. If you're a child, stop being a child loser.

Yeah, gay old, get older now. Okay, good job. Anytime you're on the beach and I saw a child, usually a child being wandered in from another resort, walking down the beach, I just pointed and went, what are you doing here? Get out of my honeymoon, grab it. Get out of.

What? But you know, when you're there, except for that one moment in the moment we'll get to that Liam knows a little bit about, like Clive Owen says, in Children of Men, there is no more serene and beautiful sound than the absence of children.

He didn't actually say that. That's my segue. Right, because the one... You're lying a lot today. The one interaction with a child is that I booked an excursion on a metal gear, primarily. Okay, and this was offshore. This was off the resort and it was a semi,

it was a semi boat submersible to the bottom. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a sub. Yeah, I rode one of those in Disney. Right? Yeah. So we go in there and of course this is an excursion open up to anybody.

So the one interaction we actually had with a child, Alex shows up and Alex is dumb as fuck and he wasted everybody's time. Oh, I know that kid. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I meant that kid. And the tour guide goes, so anybody, you are going to be my special turtle counters.

There's going to be many underwater turtles, which I wanted to see because... Turtles, because who doesn't... ...underwater turtles. Right, yeah. Ocean turtles are amazing. You're going to be my underwater turtle. Alex, you're going to do that?

Yeah. And they're all behind us because you can only sit in like a row, right? Man, I fucking hate Alex. Yeah, right? Yeah. Okay, so we start going on the tour and whatever, he starts seeing things

and the water clears up and she just goes, okay, so hey, who likes Finding Nemo here? And I don't say anything because I'm waiting for the children to say something. They say fucking nothing. So fuck you, right? The tour guide is trying to get him involved, yeah. Yes, no, that's fine.

Yeah. And she goes, well, okay. Well, then who remembers what the turtle's name was in Finding Nemo? And nothing is said. Right. And then I'm starting to shake. And I go, Prush!

And she goes, oh, okay, thank you. All right. And these children, like so, you don't know children things. And yes, Finding Nemo was like more than 10 years ago. It's more than 10 years ago. But if you are any type of a decent parent, this movie should be shown. Oh, this has started quickly.

So then seven to, I count in nine turtles. I see. I get those footage of all those awesome turtles, whatever. Then we get asked, how many turtles were there, Alex? Two! Wrong! That's bad. You ruined it!

Alex, you're an idiot. Was Alex on a tablet? Did he have an iPad? I couldn't see. No, his name was probably at home on his tablet. It was so infuriating because of the children. There was two children, him and a girl that said nothing. If they weren't there, everything would have gone fine.

Children being bad at things is what propelled Maddox to start them. Right? Yeah. It's something everyone can get behind because kids suck at everything. Alex, those turtles you didn't count are dead now, Alex. They're dead because you didn't count them. Did you see the little baby turtles? Oh, dead.

All dead. Because you didn't count them. You know, Alex, we were asking you to count the turtles because we were going to save them from the turtle massacre. We're going to kill all the ones that aren't counting. He fucking counted brain coral, literally the most boring piece of shit in the ocean. Look, brain coral. You weren't asked to do that, Alex. Do your job.

Do your fucking job. But Turks and Caicos though, beaches, like I've only been to like four beaches in my life, is the gorgeous beaches ever. The most soft, cool sand. Yeah, it's the cool sand. It wasn't even hot, even in the middle of the day. It was just crazy. That's the island.

Yeah, it's everything in the Caribbean, right? Just turquoise water, like, not a single gross thing was in the ocean. Lucky you. It was just little rocks, little shells, and that was it. And those were really gorgeous. That's really lucky because they're having problems with like sediment and stuff these days. Yeah. The tourism areas are fucking scoured for cleanliness.

Dude, I went to Mexico this week and I had like fucking problems. Well, okay, Mexico is not like, I mean Caribbean. Well, but it's the same, like, side. It's the same kind of water, is there? It's the same region of the world. I think Woolly is applying to the island nations due to being islands and having more of their... I don't know if you're getting the same kind of beach. Their money don't...

No, I'm sure, I just heard that those areas were all... ...better jobs scouring their shit than Mexico. Yeah, I just remember looking it up after I went and like, yeah, all these areas were covered in it. Our entire GDP relies on you coming and sitting on that beach and tanning. Boy, this is amazing. I'm liking it. You wouldn't want to live here, but boy, a nice country. Exactly.

The beaches are actually really, really nice and there's not that many people. I'm like, when I went to Miami and it's the most overcrowded, there's people everywhere judging you, looking at you. Oh, Miami people? Yeah. Well, not Miami, but like generally Florida. Well, they're judging your abs, yeah. They're judging my abs. And I'm like, yeah, you judge them, whatever.

Yeah. Can't judge us not there. Yeah. But that was really nice. What's there? Because the owner of this resort is the most cracked out Frenchman I've ever seen. I love this. So he comes out dressed in all white puff daddy satin.

Everything's flowing. It's the best. Everything is billowing. It's just the best. So every night there's a good show that they have. Like 9.30, they put on a show at the theater and it's like a variety thing or whatever. And every show, he comes out and he goes, ah. All right, we got a really great show.

Now who's ready for the show? And they're just leaves and you don't see him all day except for the next morning. Is that a French accent? That's how his name was Charles Baudouin. Okay. That's how he got. That sounds like a Japanese wrestler accent. Doesn't it?

Yeah. So every morning when you're on the beach, he comes up to you and goes, hey, so how's everything going? And I'm like, I'm good. I'm fine. Yeah. And he's like, okay, so read a comic. Yeah.

What? Because I'm reading a comic. No, but where's this going? Why? Because his job is to go up and down the beach once a day and say, is there anything? Oh, okay. Do you need anything? But he didn't actually say that anytime.

So you enjoy your stay. He was just like looking at us. Just conversing? Yeah. Just conversing. Okay. And once he got out of earshot and I was like, well, I wasn't ready for the show. And he just showed up.

Maybe he's a fan of the show and he was nervous. Yeah. He listened to the podcast and now he's going to be just as well. Really, this is an island. It is an island. And as you drive from one place to the other, you see three things. You see some type of shack that sells some type of meat. And you see churches.

So as we're going down and I see a church every second, I then decide, you know what, we're sick of the resort tonight. We're going to go out. We're going to go on the little touristy town area. And I asked the front desk. So this one, I'm talking about the negative things because all the fun things are in the video, right? So sorry if this is getting depressing.

Yeah, but like chilling out on a beach for three hours relaxing. That's not super exciting. Now let's go church hopping. Yeah. So I go, so I see there's a lot of churches like on the island. She goes, oh, yeah, yeah, a lot of churches. And then go, so is everything open on Sundays? It's Sunday.

Is everything still open or things close or they open up late? Yeah. And the front, the desk of the front girl who they live here, they live on these islands. And she goes, everything's, yeah, everything's open. Everything closes at like five. And I'm like, yeah, no, that's kind of standard, right? Everything closes at five. You might have trouble getting alcohol because it's Sunday.

And I go, sure, okay, we're just going out in the town walking around. Every fucking store is closed. Sick burn. Every store we go to, we see Cuban cigars, no duty free video games. Closed for Jesus. Just closed for Jesus. You are asking whether it's supposed to be open or not. It's a reality.

So many stores just say we are never open on Sunday. Never. One place. It's too hot. We found one place that's open, but we got like a few gifts there. But we were so pissed because we went out there for nothing. So to salvage this night, I was like, okay, let's go to a really, really super nice restaurant. I saw a description of a restaurant called the Coco Bistro.

You're in swain palm trees. There's this guy that studied in France and all these other places, calling his curinary skill. And they go, we have a cat here named Coco. If you are allergic to cats, please do not come to our restaurant. Our cat is a mainstay. He delights the guests. We tickle your balls as you eat. It is the most divine.

And I'm like, okay, let's just go there. There's a lot of ball tickling on the finals. Yeah. Well, it was the joke of the week, right? We're like, all these places massage your, your, your bits. So. Pull the skin. It says, it says on the website, please call for reservations.

And I go, I should call for reservations. That was over the line. That was over the line. That's too much of an image. Now it's stuck. I'm sorry. Now it's real. This is his fault.

Now it's real. I call. I call and I call. No answers. I call and I call and I call. No answers. And I go, I must be not busy. Maybe it's Sunday.

Super Bowl Sunday. Yeah. We take a little, we take a walk in the heat and we get there. It's just across the street, not too far, but it's a little bit of a walk. And we get there and we're like, oh hi. And we're dressed to the nines and everything. And I go up and we're like, yeah. So can we get in?

He's like, oh no. There's this English guy just like from England. Oh no. Wow. Okay. I can find you a seat at the bar in 45 minutes. You should have called for reservation. And at least Willie and Pat know me that you've probably seen me get legit angry.

Like maybe once, maybe. And any other time you get angry, it's like a joke or whatever. You talk about Nintendo, you get mad. Like I get really angry, right? But in legit, like when I start like just freaking out, right? Yeah. And I go, I literally have been calling all day and no one picks up here. He goes, just makes a British whimper.

Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, we came like, this is our honeymoon, by the way. He's like, oh, congratulations. Wow. And I'm like, well, I wish I could eat at your, there's nothing. You can't get us anything. I've been calling all day.

Why, at least tell me why has no one picked up? Is it this number? I show him the phone and he goes, yes. There's a blind up of people. Right. And usually, and you guys know this about me. Oh, I don't want to. Oh yeah, totally.

And I'm like wimpy like that. But I'm like, why would you not answer in the phone? And this guy is like super between a rock and a hard place. Super between a rock and a hard place. I don't care. Because it's not his job. It's not his job. Yeah, exactly.

But he's stuck in this place of like, it's still on him. So, Church in Kaco's Islander guy comes up and he goes, and he just goes, man, you don't want, no, come over here. And we go over here. And he has a cab and he goes, I take you to much better places. This place, they turn away everyone. Turn away everyone. And I go, okay.

Yeah. And then I look at his cab and we can just make sure everything's legit. I'm like, okay. Yeah. It's an actual cab and everything. And we go, like, where's this place? And he's going, it's baby straws. It's so much better.

So much better. And we go there and he takes us to almost an identical place that's cheaper. And we're just like, oh my God, evening saved. Yeah. And this guy is like, we're driving. Yeah. By the way, my name is Winston. Hey.

And I'm like, okay. Winston is like, no, that place. English Fox. English Fox. Don't want. No. And we're like, oh, okay. I hope we're not getting into a race war.

Yeah. So he takes us to this place and it's really, really nice. And Church in Gage goes as famous for conch. Conch. Conch shells. Conch shells. Yeah. I looked at videos of them, like these are horrible, like Cthulhu-esque pictures.

Oh, that's how it always is. Don't worry about that. But I see, and we're like, this is what they're famous for. And you see on the menu, this is the one weird thing I kind of tried. They're like fried wonton conch. And I'm like, sure, I'll try that. And it's fucking delicious. And it was like, it said like, winner of the best conch shell recipe seven years in a row.

Don't fuck with it. Yeah. So yeah. That kind of saved the evening. You drill a hole in the conch shell and then you blow it and it becomes like a boom. Yeah. You use it to run your child society. And call war.

Or you can kill Alex. Yeah. And that's kind of the last sort of like speed bump that we sort of had. But to get to the stuff I really wanted is that like you said, what? Walk this line around on the beach. What's there to tell? So I finished God of War, Ghost of Sparta. Oh, that was the one.

That's the PSP game. It wasn't a special thing. So me and Matt, at some point like last week, we were just talking, or last week before, we just talked about PSP and DS games for like an hour or two. And like, he was telling me it was one of those ones. And I was like, we talked about too many, but I'm so curious. Yeah, you got a real PSP. That was a magical era, man.

That was a magical era. PSP, DS, original. There was so many games coming. I would say it's easily better than 3DS and Vita. Easily. Yeah. Twice the amount of releases. Like with the exception of like specific exclusives on both sides.

Like Kid Igris Uprising, Soul Sacrifice Delta, a couple. Overall, yeah. There's too many to keep up with. So I started and finished Ghost of Sparta, and it was okay, but it was more like, because I'm like still, it's so God of War-E, and it's the exact same combos and everything. Square, Square, Triangle. Like actually playing it, it was still like, you know, good and serviceable. And it was only towards like the last hour where I was like, oh, shit.

Now we're getting into some stuff where they picked up that abandoned storyline that was mentioned in the unlockables of God of War One about Kratos' brother. Yeah. And Kratos' brother, they should have just had it be about him, because he's the fucking coolest. The original. Deimos is so cool. You think of the whole tag team thing. What's that about?

I don't know. Does he have blue paint instead? No, he's got like a big, he looks like, he looks like Leonidas from 300. It has big, buff, like metal, like gigantic arm. And has, and so you get one of the only really interesting weapons in this game is the arms of Sparta, which is a shield and spear combo, which are super cool and actually changed it up quite a bit. And then when there's a section where you finally team up with Deimos,

and Kratos just goes, here, Deimos! And just gives him, and then you tag team a boss, and it was fucking awesome. It's super cool, the finale of that game. The finale of that game is the strongest point. Up until that, like guess who was the cause of the destruction of Atlantis? Latina. No, it's just Kratos. Kratos.

Kratos is the alpha and the omega of the God of War universe. Kratos, can you solve this problem? No, I didn't say no. Without blowing it up. Yeah. I didn't say, I didn't say cause it. So everything was fine, and like it's all serviceable and it looks great and all that. It's a really impressive game.

It's towards the end where I was like, holy shit. Yeah. I watched Inside Out the Pixar movie, which was actually quite good. A Motions one. Amy Poehler, there was the Motions one that in all the trailers I was like... Your old roommate. Yeah. You lose black and stuff.

Yeah, yeah. I thought a fucking Dale Cooper is in there. Nice. Right? I mean, wait, that's Top Shelf Pixar. Really? I always like, I looked at the trailer and I was like, eh, that looks like a gimmick. But it's when women and men start talking and you see their emotions and I was like,

ah, the sexes. Okay. I'll take a look. I read the first volume of a comic that Liam constantly mentions. He loves it a lot. It's called Why the Last Man. Well, have you heard of this? Why the Last Man?

You're good things about it. I'm not too sure though. I don't know. No. So, will you always talking about Why the Last Man? So, I just decided to get that. That's amazing. I'm going to continue it.

Is that done? It's been done for a decade. It's been done for a decade. Okay. Maybe I'll wait a little longer. That's super awesome. I always wanted to read it. The problem with it is that it was a decade ago, so they're like, ah, all these problems.

Spice girl. Yeah. It's like the first issue. They're like, oh, they're talking about everybody that's died, and he's like, the D, man. The fucking D. It's like, ah, tenacious D. Get out of here. Exactly.

So, all these problems could be fixed with cell phones. But the core thing was... No, actually, no. That's just Seinfeld. That's just Seinfeld. There's lots of Seinfeld jokes in there. There's lots of Seinfeld. Well, the only actual problem we have is that the art is just nothing special.

It reminds me a lot of Preacher's art in that a lot of characters are drawn very the same. Women all look pretty much the same. Men all look pretty much the same except for gross exaggerations. It's nothing special. The covers are really nice. The covers are amazing. But the in-game, the in-comic art is fine. But it tells the story.

No, no. It's not bad. It's just like it kind of almost doesn't live up to the writing. I read Silk, which is one of the Spider Girls that were an offshoot of the Spiderverse event, which was also really awesome. She hangs out with Spider-Man sometimes, and she's like, you're the cause of all this, by the way. I got bit by the same Spider you did.

He's like, yeah. Dude, Kratos' brother looks really cool. He does, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. Silk is really good. I read Angela Asgard's Assassin. I'm still confused as to how Marvel got the rights to Todd McFarlane. Angela?

Angela Asgard's Assassin. It says nothing. Marvel? Angela created by Todd McFarlane and Neil Gaiman. Tough times. Yeah. It's still a really, really awesome comic. It's done a lot of order, so you don't know why she's doing what she's doing until someone explains it to you real time.

Okay. So that was really interesting. And I read All of Phantom Blood. Oh, yeah. Wow. Hey. Hey. Hey.

There we go. There we go. Do you have a nice volume of it? You said Phantom Blood. Part one. Sorry. It took me a second to, like, what's, is that a new comic? What is it?

What? Yeah. Have you even bought the really nice volumes? I bought the really nice, like, new volume that came out. Like, that's hardcover and stuff. And then I just digitally bought the rest once I finished that. They're gorgeous. I've been buying them all.

They're so nice. Like, these are the ones that are black and green. Have you seen them? Joe Jonium, I think, or Joe Compendium. Whatever it's called. Yes. The big, really nice books. Yeah.

Yeah. So I bought the first one and then I finished that. And I was like, well, I mean... That motherfucker jumps out of that horse cart. Doesn't he? Back in the day when, like, Eric, he just couldn't draw children at all. They looked like freaky... And he couldn't draw a lot of things well in that book.

He never learned. What is wrong with you? Eight percent. I mean, I watched most of it in animation. No, no, no. Children. Do women were bad in part two? Like, Lisa looks...

No. In part six, there is a main character that is an actual child. Yeah. And he has the head of a 30-year-old. Koichi is, okay, I guess. And, like I said, I watched most of Phantom Blood anime for him. Yeah. But, I mean, you know, you read it and get all the little details inside and whatever.

But my only kind of beef is that, like, whose favorite is Jonathan? Jonathan's cool. No one. He's no one's favorite. No one's favorite, but he's cool. I thought there was one of us that said... I like him a lot. I like him a lot.

A lot of people say... Most people I know say Joseph. A lot of people... It's not me. Some people fall back to Jonathan, but not as many. Yeah. Because I just might take away as, wow, I'm probably not going to remember him. He's really cool when he's in a template.

Yeah, it's a template. Yeah, exactly. John is the, like, his main character material with nothing else. Yeah, exactly. So, it's fine, you know? Yeah. So, yeah, no one enjoyed it, and I'll try to see how much I can. We have another trip coming up in the next couple of weeks.

I really... Every... I think the only time I'm going to have time to do all this, like, because I want to continue Y, the last man, I want to continue this, and, like, plane trips. Yeah. That's the only time. The templates, when you sort of, Ellen, you look at them, like, going backwards, what you see is they always alternate between hot-blooded and cold-blooded.

Right. Or, rather, I should say the other way around. Cold-blooded, first, then hot-blooded. And then... Oh, it goes hot, hot, cold. John is cold. Jonathan Joestar. Joseph is hot.

Yeah, that's what I... Jonathan Joestar is cold-blooded? Not literally. He's not a reptile. No, by the way... It's a figure of speech. He bursts into hot-blooded flame. It's a figure of speech.

It's a description of their personalities. Really? He's not making jokes and going, haha! He's not, like, a Ken. He's a straight man. No, it's like... He's literally like my burning blood. Ken?

At the very end, at the very end. No, no, but I would say Jotaro is cold-blooded. John, yes! Yeah. Exactly. That's correct. I don't think Jonathan's cold-blooded. So you have a Ryu, and then you have a Ken.

He's lukewarm-blooded. And then you have a Ryu, and then you have a Ken. He's lukewarm-blooded. But the point is... It's only at the very end where he really, like, comes into it. Yeah. Up till then, he's always, like, just kind of going along with it. You can say serious versus goofy.

If the other way you want to describe it that way. Okay. So my point is that the first character is a serious one, and then the second one is like a goofball, and then the third character is serious. Jotaro is the most serious that there ever was. And then the fourth character is a goofball, and then the fifth character is serious, and the sixth character is... I can't stand you.

So my point is that it alternates between that, and what you see with each one is just like they build off of the template of cold or hot. And, yeah, Jonathan being the first cold-blooded guy, there's not much to say. It's like the story brings him forward. Sorry, I just remember one of us, someone saying, maybe it wasn't you guys. It was somebody else that I talked to. They were like, yeah, Jonathan's the best. So, like, for some reason...

No, he's really cool. He's cool, but he's not bad. He's not bad, or anything. He's just like, eh. Yeah. I don't know who put this one. So, yeah. That's it.

That's it. I guess that's something about everything else. Let's take a quick word from our sponsors. So I'm thinking when you open up the box, you're just going to hear the words, test your might. And a giant fist comes flying at you. Well, yeah. The theme of the month is fight, after all. It's combat.

Combat. Combat. That's way more generally cool. Those are those synonyms. I recall saying last time I was here, wasn't it last week, that either Seth Killian or James Goddard just jump out of the box and teach you about combat. I don't think they'll fit. I don't know.

If they sent a box with James Goddard, I'd be scared that there would be too many returns. I love the guy. The wife would be like, are you doing that combat again? No, not me. These kids are doing it for me. The sounds of swords clinking and a spear or two come flying out of the box. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, Wilhelm screams happening.

Yeah. There you go. D. James. Fatalities. All that good shit. Well, it's loot crate and the theme of the box is combat. So, again, I think we're in for some good stuff. I hope we get a heavy dose of Capcom combat.

Well, they're one of the list of people, right? They're one of the list of people as well as Blizzard, Fallout 4, and the Hunger Games. So, there's combat coming. Is there any possibility that your box shows up and there's just a gun in it? Well, brass knuckles. But you gotta save the gun box for the good gun theme. Exactly. You need to save the gun for the, this month's theme is gun.

That's correct. Singular. And it's just a copy of Zardos. Oh, and the box is shaped like the head and it's popping the gun out at you. But the gun has to be rigged to fire upon opening. Yeah, it's like that stand. But we're not there yet. We're at combat.

And if you want to get in on this combat month at loot crate, you gotta head on down to lootcrate.com slash super, end of the promo code super, save three bucks off of that combat box. Three bucks? Geez, you buy a gun with that. And when you sign up like that, you're gonna get your combat box, then every subsequent month you get another box with a different theme too. Boxes every month? Boxes every month.

I can't wait for the other box, combat two. And then combat three. Oh, shit. The plodding. The combatting. The combatting thing. Yeah, man. That's what you're getting.

You're getting at least 40 bucks worth of gear in that box. So that's 40 bucks worth of combat. It's a lot of fight. I want my collection of like, because I got my Ryu headband. And I'm sure I've got- I only wore those once. Exactly. And I'm sure I've got like a glove or two there.

I want like all the accessories. The whole kit. The whole kit. I want the Chun-Li bracelets. Everything, man. Get it in there. All right. That's this month's loot crate, lootcrate.com slash super.

And yeah, promo code is super. Thanks a lot, loot crate. Thanks a lot. Combat. Combat. That's how we ended the last one. Combat. This episode is also sponsored by Texture.

Texture. Texture. What is this? Like texture. In life? Texture. Texture is supporting us? Texture.

Texture. I'm feeling this couch right now and it feels really nice. It has a nice- Texture. Feel. Fuck you. Texture is, to put it short, it's a service that is basically Netflix for magazines. Okay, I understand that immediately.

And that works on your iPad or tablet type device, things like that. These are digital magazines. Spark devices. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you subscribe and you get a large collection of magazines available to you. So, are they like current? Correctly. Because I know Netflix is for stuff that has already come out, usually.

But in this case, are we getting stuff like to the week? Well, you're getting stuff to the week, of course. Wow, no, that's really cool, actually. But you're getting current stuff, but I mean, you're also getting like a large, large- Yeah, no, for sure. I'm just curious, I don't know. Gotta get all the info out there. Yeah, if it's a monthly magazine, then you gotta get the monthly magazine.

You would certainly hope so. Exactly. You gotta get the weekly, right? Yeah, exactly. So, that list includes, man, this is a huge list. You're gonna have to parse like a couple of things. People. Yeah.

Like, here's the kinds of things that are on Netflix is like impossibly broad. Yeah. What's the magazine? Well, it's got Time magazine. I mean, I see ESPN right there. It's got Time magazine. It's got The New Yorker. It's got, yeah, Esquire ESPN.

PC. Golf. Wait, which PC? PC Magazine. Oh, wow. McLean. All of them. Time.

People. PC World. Popular Science. Oh, man, I could go for some popular science. Quebec Science. Oh, that's relevant to us. Rolling Stones. But his list is like bafflingly massive.

It is really huge. Yeah. Uh, man, Vennie Fair. All of that. All of that. Vogue's weird. Wired. I, you know, everyone likes a good wired mag every now and then, man.

So what, so, so, how do we get into this? Texture.com slash Superbest. And you can get in on a free trial and check out whatever magazines strike your fancy. Right. I don't know what strikes your fancies. I can only speak for myself. It's been a long time since I read a magazine. I might want to get back into there because there's a certain, there's a certain formatting

to magazines. You don't get a magazine. Well, magazine writing's elegant. Yeah. It's like, you, it has to matter. Well, yeah. And when you want Quebec Science, we're better than Quebec Science Magazine. Yeah, pretty much.

It's just a scientist staring at a vat of poutine. Yeah. This works. Yeah, that's it. This works. There you go. So you can get, you can read about all that. You can read about it on your phone or tablet.

You got hundreds of magazines that you can pick from. You can download them and read them offline if you want. Really? That's actually good. That's really good, actually. Super, super useful. I'm shocked that that's a feature. Exactly.

That's what it's not. And they even have curated, curated collections of articles and things like that that you can just check out daily if you just want to tailor something. That sounds great. That's actually really, from amongst those, that, that, that giant list. So, hey, that's, you want to sign up at texture.com slash super best and try out that promo. Try out that, that free trial. See if you like it.

Once again, that, that's a lot of magazines. Yeah. What can I say? I miss magazines, honestly. You know, when, when, when you call something the Netflix of thing, chances are you're doing something good. I get it. Yeah.

I get that. People get that. That makes sense. Thanks, Texture. Thanks, Texture. Thanks, Texture. Thank you. Sorry, I was going to say, whenever, whenever I showed a panel, I was like, look at that.

Still, yeah. She goes, why does everything in this comic look wrong? Oh, for which one? Anything. Oh, yeah. Any pose. Yeah. Any action.

Any punch. She's like, nothing about that makes sense. And I'm like, she's like, don't you make fun of that guy that draws really badly? And I was like, Rob Liefeld? Like this is just as bad. And I was like, I know, but it's, it's done with style. It was. You know?

That was all the comics that you showed her. What do you mean? Well, I asked you which one. You showed all of them. I just met Joe Joe. Oh, okay. I met which comic and you thought. Joe Joe Joe.

And which panel. Okay. Every panel. Yeah, okay. No, you're completely right. Yeah. No, none of them can, no human being can stand like that. Sad news this week is we're reading about how the.

Warner Brothers is fucking the dog on it. Well, like, is it Warner? Yeah. Yeah. Joe Joe's not doing too well as far as the dubs and the DVD sales are going. Not surprised. You know, it seems like it's something that people like and want. Giant, right?

With translations, but the English release of it is not catching fire. People don't spend money on anime. It's shitty, but. They'll spend money on streaming anime. On Crunchyroll. But yeah. Yeah. But physical releases, they've been burned.

Generally speaking. For too long. And unless they can get everything that they exactly want, there's always a legal and illegal version to get exactly what they want. Yeah, exactly. That's not a physical release. No, it's. Warner Brothers making, like, even slight mistakes in its distribution and being like, why bother?

Why not just go off to the Crunchyroll? Toonami as well. Toonami. Is their airing. Yeah, they're airing. It's airing. They're airing Stardust as well. Yeah.

And like, you know, TV is probably like the best result you can hope for within a lot of these things if people are not going to buy it. I want to see it hit YTV. Yeah. You know, that 8 a.m. slot. 8 a.m. slots. Yeah. Okay.

I wish anime could play in mainstream spots on TV. That's more mainstream than it gets in Japan. After CSI, here's your anime. And Stardust is. Right after the news. Yeah. Stardust doesn't have the accents. I mean, you know, this should be fine.

Although, anime is like every genre just wrapped into categories. Yeah, it's all anime though. No, exactly. You know it. Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Gundam and Orymo, all the same thing. Coming up after breaking, after you're on a breaking bad monster. That would actually be completely appropriate. That would.

That would be so annoying. That would be... You could actually do it. You completely nailed it on your first day. Like, wow. I don't play a lot of Fallout. I shouldn't be because I can't stop. Yeah, because the last time we talked about you were like,

I'm gonna wait for this shit. So what happened? I watched Bunny Hops review and it's a fantastic review that if you don't know about the game, you should go and look at it. And basically it's like, man, this game's buggy. And I talked to some people on Twitter, it's like, yeah, buggy's a game. People are like, it's kind of buggy. It's like, okay, I'll wait.

I'll wait and pass on it. And then I was like, I'll go finish off Assassin's Creed Syndicate and do the Witcher DLC. And I started both those games up and played them for 10 minutes and shut them off going, I don't want to play this. Because I want to play fucking Fallout. That's what I want to fucking do. So you played Fallout. So I played Fallout.

That game's kind of buggy. Yeah. And is it worse than no launcher? No. That's the thing. It's not as good as Skyrim was quite at launch. It's better than three. It's way better than New Vegas.

A game I cobbled together last night was better than New Vegas at launch. Yeah. And a lot, almost all of the bugs, I've only ran into like six or seven serious bugs. And most of them have been hilarious instead of problematic stuff. I've only, I've played it for 13 hours. I've only had one hard crash, which is a huge improvement over all of the other games. And I did run into the problem that Bunny mentions in this review in which you go to that fucking settlement. You did?

Because you were like, oh, I hope I don't run into that. Dude, it's that, it's, it's a Sturgis. It's that same fucking guy just spawned right on top of the fucking roof. Instead of in the building? Look, instead of anywhere. That you can get him. And so what the deal is, is that if you're on PC, you can no clip up to him. No problem.

Of course. But there's also a item you can build. It's a dinner bell, basically. And you ring it and all your fucking shitty settlers wander off from wherever they were at. And they walk towards the bell and that solves that problem like every time. Saw that bug where the little girl gets into the power armor. I haven't seen that one yet. And stretches out to be adult sized, gets into the armor.

That's cool. And then the armor just turns into a woman's body with no head and then runs off. I had one bug in which the level of detail in the world didn't load in in a hallway. And so the hallway was like blank game world. Like you look down the hallway and it's, I'm like, that's a really bright white hallway. And then I look over and like there's nothing. Like I can see through to infinity. And then as soon as I walked into it, it popped back into existence.

And when I reloaded my save, it popped back into existence. But my favorite bug, and it's easily reproducible. And I think it's what's causing the people to spawn on top of, on buildings, is the way that they're handling the physics in this game. So if you've got, Matt, you've played these games for sure. So I know you know about this bug. Is that you walk into a room. You're like, I want to pick up that beer bottle on that table.

And you go pick up the beer bottle and everything else on the table, like drops a centimeter onto the table and falls all over the place. Because their engine did not activate the physics in an area unless you interacted with it. So if you picked up something, all the physics would turn on in that room and everything would just fall down. And it was super busted and horrible. I originally thought that bug was no longer in the game because I would pick stuff up and that wouldn't happen.

And then I realized that after fast traveling, it would. So what it is is that your physics radius is now much larger than it used to be, but it still has to turn on. And when you fast travel somewhere and just show up, it happens. And what does happen is since they track every body and character and player in the world, they clearly don't track them all at once. They only track them once you're there. There's a police station that I killed a bunch of ghouls at.

And when I fast traveled there, it was raining ghouls for multiple seconds. For like 20 seconds, every dead body in the world had spawned 100 feet above the world and were now kicking in their physics and just dropping bodies all over the place. That's cool. That's a good bug. It was awesome. That's a good bug. That's really good. I think that's what's happening to the NPCs.

I think that's why they spawn on top of roofs. Because they're like your fast traveling location and they're actually appearing above and they're supposed to fall down and they have no vertical data or some shit. But yeah, you're sorry. I was going to say, let me ask you a question. Let's say the game came out. Like you said, you found one crash and that's like the most major thing. And everything else is kind of goofy or funny or whatever.

Would you rather just not be in there or do you like get a chuckle out of there? There's a break your immersion where you go, ah, that's fucked. Your portion is never there because the animations are so bad. Basically. Because when you and I took a look at it, I was like, it still doesn't look that great. And no one animates well. I haven't run into any broken quests. And on PC, you can fix broken quests with the console.

So on PC, it's like, ah, it's part of the experience. Have you been dicking around or following the story? I've been doing both. Is the story chandified? So yeah, I'll get to that in a bit. I just want to get at some bullet points. Man, that game controls a million times better. It controls like a shooter game now.

Like fucking, thank god. There's some good stuff they did with the perks and the special stats to make the matter more. And they changed the skill system. I don't really mind one way or another. As for a chandified narrative, and if you're not familiar with what that fucking means, well, you can put a link in there. You can just look up the chandification of Fallout by a guy on YouTube called MrBeatum,

which describes creating fictional open worlds. The biggest improvement in this game is its level of chandification. Which is basically how freeform and internally consistent is your world. There is a lot more. And Matt's, I believe the only one in here who's really given some of these games some time. There's a lot more built up existing settlements and towns. Most of them are abandoned. But you must remember, if you went to any town in Fallout 3, it was like five houses in a row.

Yeah, five houses in a row and maybe five people. There are, even the town that we saw briefly when we took a look at it, which was Lexington, where I fought that death claw, that was like a little small suburb town with streets and side streets. And back out the building you're in was like multiple floors. Yeah, and I found two other towns larger than that one that are still mostly abandoned, but they're not grids. They're these large interconnected, they have apartment buildings. It's a huge, huge, huge improvement.

Like... Question, though. Areas live next to water sources. What do they eat? What do they eat? So here's what they eat. They eat what you tell them to eat because of the settlement thing. All right.

So the settlement thing is they put Minecraft in Fallout. And they said, hey, there's a whole side quest with these Minutemen guys. You want to go get settlers. You want to find them. You want to build up their house or whatever. You want to build all these sanctuaries, like a civilization kind of thing. You got to manage food. Montage your needs.

Yeah, security. Food, water, security, and beds. Yeah. So after watching Bounty Homs Review and knowing how I play games, I discovered a couple things about this. One, they don't actually have to sleep in the beds. You just stack the beds anywhere and they count for your bed quota. Because no one physically just goes and sleeps. They do, but it doesn't matter if they do.

The beds just need to be there. Yeah. So Bounty Homs calls it Tetris beds. I call it the bed hive. So what I did is I scrapped every single building and every single item in that entire fucking sanctuary. That fucking... The sanctuary looks like a car park now. It is empty.

And I used the... So you stole everything they had. Well, no, no. I built it for material so I could build more stuff. And what they want you to do is clear out all the plots and make like a base. Right. But what you can do instead is to jam the bed hive in your old kids... I have 12 beds in a former children's room.

And that's where everyone lives. In the kid's room. In that kid's room. That's where they all live. That doesn't seem sanitary. Okay. And so in addition... I don't feel like you're genuinely taking their needs into consideration.

In addition, behind the house, I got six mutt fruit fucking trees and a bunch of tomatoes and a bunch of corn and all that shit. And those are packed as fucking close together as possible. And they work on that shit. That's right next to the garage that has every single fucking crafting implement in the entire game that I just moved from the whole neighborhood. And they're all just jammed next to each other. Sounds like you're running a hell of a plantation.

Would you sleep in a bed hive? So they better. Would you? I don't care. No. I have my own fucking bed. And that's a different story that I get to talk to you about. And all the oil and dirt in the shit from the power armor station, that's all over the food.

But they don't care. My happiness is at 80%. And people keep showing up. People keep showing up. So I, in the garage house, which is totally empty, they're not allowed in there, I have my little bobblehead thing and I have a bed. Now Mama Murphy, the cracked out Bostonian... I really want to tell her with my brief time with her.

Yeah. So she can tell the future if you give her drugs. But if you give her drugs, everyone shits on you. She's like, hey, I want some drugs to tell the future. The instant you do that, everyone's like, oh, you can't believe you're good. Fuck you people. All right. Fine.

I get her off the drugs. Now she's useless. She won't work because she's old. She had her story significant as gone. Fucking. What does she do all day? She just wanders around in my house. And I came home to sleep one day and she was in my bed.

And that's not fucking fair. So I took her chair. I asked Twitter for advice and they were very helpful. Some people said just go live at the gas station. I'm not willing to do that. That's the cowards way out. I took her fucking favorite chair and I put it in the middle of the empty lot and I fenced her in when she was sitting down.

And then she was stuck there. But because of the way NPC spawned, she got out. She got out because she's not taking my bed anymore. So that's sanctuary. I now have multiple settlements. I have a gas station. Everyone is sleeping inside the fucking utility closet of that gas station. Everyone is sleeping in the camera room underneath the starlight drive-in fucking movie board.

Like everyone is living in the bed hives and all their resources are right next to them. And I refuse to build anything for real. I'm not going to do it. Fuck that. I'm just going to minnax this shit and these fucking peasants are going to do their job and make me money. Fuck that. Let me ask you a question.

Do you like doing this stuff? I actually like a lot. Okay, because... I like playing it in that I refuse to build anything. He's sick. This is what happens. That he's sick. Welcome.

Welcome to Patchwitz. Welcome to Patchwitz. Because the function... You don't have to live or else I don't get cellar happiness. Yes. And when I set up the trailer... Everybody in the shower. But the function of this mechanic...

You're filthy. The settlement building, the function of this mechanic is to give creative people like, Hey, look, there's this whole thing you can do. But for people that don't want to do it, but there are advantages to doing it. Directly or max gameplay advantages. I said to Twitter on you, it's like, well, yeah, but it seems like as far as my understanding to do this stuff is really advantageous. All of the best weapons, all of the best gear is stuff that you would earn or buy from your

own trading network that you would build up. But you're having fun. There's not being creative to get the... I'm being creative. Yeah, you are. You are. Because of not building anything. There's two aspects to this.

There's the numbers, which is have enough defense, have enough water, have enough whatever. And then there's the fucking jerk off yourself. I'm going to build a big fort. I'm going to go on the Fallout Reddit and post pictures of my big fort. You could build a fort in real life. You'd want people to see it. That shit doesn't matter. You don't need to do that.

I actually had a lot of fun with that. What is the biggest fucking problem with this game is there's two things. One is that I should... One I talked to Liam about, one I talked to Woolly about separately. Woolly, I showed you that mod list for fucking Project Nevada. That was a big list. Every feature in this game that's new is a mod for New Vegas. Every single one.

Even the settlement build and shit. Especially the settlement build. Go to the fucking New Vegas Nexus. No. And go to the top 100 of all time. And aside from the creepy sex mods, all those are in here. And even then. Which like...

You know what? Good. You should have implemented those mods. Those are great. But still it's like a little... Yeah. But the biggest problem is the dialogue. The dialogue is super fucked up.

It seemed like it. They went to like a Mass Effect system where you know you pick your emotions or whatever. It's like sarcasm. And Brunner's review with that bit where he's like, what is sarcastic? He literally just says sarcastic. What is the point? I've hit it a couple times and I've never known what they were going to say. Never.

Yeah. Ever. It's so shitty. Sarcastic response means we didn't know what else to put here. Yeah. But I don't know if it's a sarcastic agreement or disagreement. I think it's a sarcastic disagreement. I don't know if it's a negative agreement.

I'd like to think it's negative. There's the group of guys called the Minutemen. You meet them and the Y button is Minutemen question mark. And if I click on it, my guy goes, what? Who are you guys? Who are you guys? They explain it. But if I didn't click on that and I don't click on it the second time I talk to Preston,

that information is gone. It's just completely gone and everyone will talk as if I know what they're talking about with the Minutemen. And that was kind of annoying because it meant that I was actually locked into one dialogue choice in every single instance, but fine, whatever. The problem happened is when Preston, the fucking cowboy hat, shit slinger piece of crap, he hit an iron hanging out and we talked to the dude from The Brotherhood of Steel and he offers me, hey, you want to come be part of The Brotherhood of Steel?

Have some big tech gizmos? And I go, I don't know. That seems like a big decision. And the decisions are, I don't know, I'd be honored to join. No thank you. Or what would my responsibility, it's responsibilities in Brotherhood is the question. So I wanted to hit why because I want to know more about The Brotherhood of Steel. The instant I chose that thing, Preston goes, man, I don't know.

I can't believe. I can't believe you're thinking about joining The Brotherhood. Preston disliked that. And your social link with Preston went down. I was going to make a joke and as soon as I pressed it, I was going to make a joke and say, you aggroed everyone and you almost kind of did. No, Preston, asking the question made him not like me. And it reminds me of something that annoyed you, Willie.

You talk about a podcast about life is strange. About there's a moment where you're on the phone and your friend with the blue hair is constantly nagging you to get off the fucking phone. Right? That's how that felt. Just like, motherfucker, I don't know who these people are. Let me ask a question. So he lives at the gas station now.

That's where he's going to live forever alone with the chuckle fucks that I exiled at the gas station. That's where you're calling the showers these days? Yeah. I'll probably go hang out with him when I go do good things so I can get a stupid quest. So you just pretend to be how they want you to be so that they'll be your friend and give you a quest. Just like real life.

I was about to say, just like life. That dialogue system is super fucked up. Information should not be the same thing as an answer. And parts of that system are actually really cool. Because when I mod guns, Preston likes me more because he's into gun modding. And there's a super mutant that if you craft anything, he hates you because he thinks that's just for pussies. And that's like, okay.

Don't make shit. There's a character that is like, yeah, lockpicking is the shit. And there's characters that are like, oh, I love it when you're mean to people for no reason. I love it when you lockpick. That's character tricks. But like asking information, like fuck off, Preston. What the hell?

Well, you remember in Wolf Among Us where it's like you had some dialogue choices and it just said glass. Glasses. And we're in a bar. So you wrongly in your stupidity. But also mine were like, let's give him a glass. And we realized that was slang for punchy madude. I saw that bit in an animated gift format and I said glass.

And I would have picked it as a giving him a glass of whatever. We were in a bar. And like it's a very different. Pour him a glass. Yeah. And the other problem is now they let you quick save in dialogue, which does it, which actually sounds like an improvement until you find out that all charisma and speak speech checks are random chances.

So say you have seven charisma, I guess that means you have a 70% chance of passing an easy speech check. But it's random. So quick save in the menu and reload it. And I have a high charisma on my character. I have failed every single speech check in the entire game on my first try. That's probably not how that's supposed to work. I can imagine so.

It's super horrible. It should really just be, do you have a high enough stat? You did it. That's how it has been. Oh, I know. I know. I was just going to game it. Yeah.

It's super easy to game it now because you can quick save in the fucking conversation. So you quick save when you see it's in yellow, orange or red, you quick save and go hit it. And on PC, long times are super fast. Just do it over and over and over and over and over. And it's stupid shit like, hey, give me more money for this job. And usually those have three levels of increasing durability. Right, we depress it. And if you fuck up the prompt, then you go back to the shitty version of the money.

But like, your chance of succeeding is 100%. Because the dialogue system is super shitty and super fucked up. It's a real disappointment. No, I can't believe they did that to it. Like, luckily Bethesda's writing is okay. So it's not like there's good writing and you're missing out, but like still. No, it's shitty. Like CRPGs have always been a certain way with how they handle dialogue and writing.

This is more of a scrounger game than it has ever been. I personally, like, going through garbage in abandoned warehouses. Yeah, sorry. No, I was saying CRPGs have always been a certain way in terms of writing. And to deviate so far from your roots in that regard. Yeah, because they've doubled down on like the scrounger aspect. Like, they're legendary monsters that appear randomly in the game that drop legendary loot. Speaking of which, did you see all those videos of a guy on PC that just put every legendary enemy in the game

in a battle arena and just set all their aggro? And you watch like 500. Does that girl win? So he makes a team out of everyone. Here are all the giant super mutant Goliaths. Here are all the bugs. Here's the bug faction. Here's the Brotherhood of Steel.

Brotherhood of Steel wins every time. But it's usually against Death Claws. Death Claws are like the second it's kind of close. But he's like, Brotherhood of Steel is overpowered. One of the loading screen tips, they say the chameleon in Death Claw can turn itself invisible. Like, man, fuck that. One gameplay thing that I really like what they did is you remember the old games you'd hit in Passable Walls or like Radiation Community as a world map?

I've heard that it's not quite as extreme, but what happens on the edges of the map is that like the spawn rate for like stupid tough enemies gets jacked up the farther away. That's interesting. It's kind of like Max Payne's thing. So you're still not going to get all the way out there. Like it's impossible, but there's value in hugging the edge of the map. Good game, severe dialogue problems, everything else is massive improvement. I don't know.

I think I'm going to wait. So wait for the Obsidian sequel. Wait for the Obsidian sequel. I hope so. Dude. It'd be nice. Like even as buggy and shitty as this engine is, it's still a massive improvement over the past couple of games. In terms of features.

Game real. I would love to see Obsidian like tear out that conversation system. Oh, it'd be amazing. And put in their own. Fergus Urquhart actually did this huge like two and a half hour long interview with some guy from somewhere. I forget where. But about an hour and a half in, he starts talking about Bethesda's tech and it's really interesting. Yeah, I watched the whole thing.

And he basically describes like the reason why Bethesda games are so fucked up is because they assign a lot of value to their overwrite folder. And the overwrite folder is where you can just drop in fucking whatever and it'll overwrite your files. And that's how you can mod it in like two seconds. But that's sloppy. It's not this nice perfect system where everything is in its proper place. And that's what causes it. So the engine's loose to let you get in there. But it causes that.

But that's the problem. But they have their own dialogue engine at Obsidian. They have an engine that they use for their games that is a dialogue thing that they bolt onto other engines. Because they're nuts. And I would love to see that put into that engine. I'm pretty... He talked about it during his... You should have come to his talk in Montreal because he talked about it in a bunch.

I didn't know that was happening. Like you... I would have... Like you shouldn't have told me, but why would you have told me I didn't? Yeah. If he's ever back to... Of course, yeah. A really good game so far.

I'm sure I'll hit some fucking mammoth horrible bug that I have to fix with the console and then I'll talk shit about it next week. Yeah, well you already fixed one thing with the console. No! So far I'm at zero. Oh, yes, no. One thing. The very... I don't even blame you for this one.

The very first thing I did when I got into the game was I hit console and I hit set... I forget the console. I think it's set.player.av. Space. Carry weight. Space a thousand. Because they want you to pick up all the junk. They want you to pick up every fork and glass and TV tray and fucking microscope and all that shit for your settlement items.

But like if you're running a low strength build, you're fucking carry weight as shit. It's a fucking... I don't want to move at half speed. You can't. At half speed? More like one-tenth. One-tenth level. There's perks associated with that.

Fuck it. Inventory space. Inventory management with weight is terrible in every game that it exists. With items or cubes. Having a hard number is fine, but when it encumbers you and you move even slower, it just feels shitty. I mean, I guess that is it saying you're past the hard number, but it doesn't feel as good. I don't like it as much. Fuck it sucks.

Oh, the other big annoyance, and this is... Matt, did you play Fallout 3 a lot? Did you ever get Power Armor? Wasn't that cool? I know what you're going to say, but yes. Wasn't that cool? It was pretty cool. They made Power Armor a lot cooler.

Was it a cool animation getting into it? It's super strong now. It's crazy. How about when you pan the camera and you walk around? It looks fucking super dumb. Great. That's not my problem. My problem is the Power Armor uses fuel now.

Oh, I didn't notice that when we played it. It uses a Fusion Core battery, which there are only so many of them in the game. So Power Armor is useless. Makes sense. So never, ever, ever use your power. How do they explain that? How do they explain Fallout 3? Shut up.

It was said. That's how they explain it. Okay. And it's a super rare, super valuable, super expensive battery that you can never recharge through any means. You can never make anymore. So use them wisely. There's a finite number.

Yeah. And it's like, it appears from the fact that all the UI changes, that they want you to walk around the wasteland in these things. But then you'd run out of your fucking battery and you wouldn't have... So what you do use it for is if you find a super tough dungeon. Yeah, you take it. You fast travel back to your base, hop in, fast travel to the dungeon, blow them up, fast travel.

It's stupid. Yeah. If I'm running a sneaky build, I can never wear it anyway. Right. You're just not strong enough. Because it's a big, cranky, comfy piece of shit. Total disappointment about the power of them. It's like, they put so much extra work into the feature.

Yeah. And then they added this one wrinkle. That brings it down to one. Why didn't you mod that out? You could totally mod that out. Hell, I could put in the item code for fusion cores and just give myself a million fusion cores. But that doesn't really...

No, no, no. That's really cheating for real. That's actual balance, fuck yeah. That's because the power armor is balanced around being eliminated recently. Yeah, exactly. You're fucking around with that too hard. Come on, obsidian, make New Vegas 2 or whatever. I promise you won't get fucked over this time.

Oh, you'll get fucked. No, be smarter on that contract because you know they're going to try and fuck you. That was my week of play to follow. All right. I hope I didn't bore you all too long. No, that's interesting because like I said, I'm still considering... Playing New Vegas. Doing a New Vegas show.

New Vegas, like it's not even close. Like mechanically, like no way. But in terms of enjoyment, like New Vegas is like way, way... No, and you know, like kind of like Bioshock. Any game where I can like, you know, custom tailor like the kind of combat and feeling of a kid with a character that I specifically want. Yeah. Like that One Punch Man article did a lot for me.

Oh yeah, I know. You can do that. That did a lot for me. I'm super on board. Like the biggest stat like I put New Vegas over is like... I was telling you the other day when I showed you the channelification thing, like my favorite part in following New Vegas is there's a couple of NPCs that have like 30 dialogue options. And you sit there and you blow like two hours on listening to dudes tell old war stories

and shit. Yeah. Because of this new dialogue system, that is completely gone. Once you've talked to somebody and exhausted their quest dialogue, they exist as like an NPC state in which all they do is respond to you when you call. Respond to you when you click on them and say nothing. And it's a huge fucking bummer. Because they had to record all the lines saying John, Michael, Pat.

Only Cogsworth has ever called me by my name and he almost never does. Yeah. So that's a waste. The better one is that if your name is the same as anyone who's a named NPC in the game, you can't have your name. So Nick and Kate and... Why not? Because there's an NPC in that name.

Because there are NPCs with those names. No, I know. But I guess it's because they can only have one in the database. Because characters will talk to each other occasionally. Okay. And there can't be two Knicks in the game. No. So there's a guy named Nick Valentine and because of him, if your name is Nick, your

name isn't on the list. What pro Jared put out a tweet and said, what the fuck, Jared's not in this game? I imagine that's the same reason. There's a character named Jared somewhere in the game that talks like super lame. It's just a dead guy in a ditch called Jared just so they couldn't, just so Jared couldn't have the name. Jared the pro. The professional garage folks.

What have you been doing? I saw your spreadsheet. You fucking fiend. Oh, Jesus. I saw that the other day. First of all, that wasn't mine. You were just holding it for a friend? No, that was created by Tool Assisted.

That was the Nikali frame data. You're sick. I'm not sick. I'm playing the game. You're sick. Anyway, no. That's fine and dandy. That's not even what I spent my week on, to be honest.

Yes, I'm excited. But like, yes, 3.5 or 5 frame data is... Is a thing. I like it. I like it. It makes me happy. No, I spent a lot of my week playing Lisa and I feel like I'm right near the end. That's the painful RPG thing.

Things are starting to resolve. It's a really cool game, isn't it? It's a really cool game. We talked about that a bit last week, right? Yes. Now that I've gotten into the rhythm of it, I can definitely see... This thing is the definition of the word quirky. You have to sort of throw a word onto it.

It's got a really weird sense of humor that often overlaps with ours. It's dark. Well, so much so that we're in it. So much so that you're in it. So I asked if we were cool guys last week. And you told me that we were cool guys. Yeah, you're cool guys. Somebody told me or I saw somewhere that if you even talk to me at all...

No, that's not true. There's a bad time. No, it's... You guys are suspicious. You're suspicious guys. And depending on how you interact with you, you're nothing or you're going to have a bad time. Yeah, you're going to have a bad time. But you're suspicious.

Okay. And you're also in the fucking way. Yeah. More than anything. You're just huge lugs. Because there are two. There's two, right? It's more than...

There's two sprites. Yeah, but the point is that more than anything, your sprites have collision. And you're in the fucking way. You're literally standing in the way as the problem. And you getting out of the way would be nice because it would allow some backtracking where there otherwise is none. Because you're in the fucking way. Well, I'm sorry about that. But...

I apologize. But beyond that, it's a pretty funny game. It's also really harsh. Yes, it is. As the sprites... Hey, you went down the wrong path. You're dead. Yeah, well, there's that.

There's that. It's painful. And I stuck with painful mode. Sure. Yeah, I'm playing it through. You're crazy. You should have been a huge coward like me. Well, dude, I went a couple hours in on painful.

And I was like, might as well just stick with it. And it's fine. I'm about to beat it. There's a thing that I have. There's a habit I have in a lot of these games where if I find a winning combination early on, I'm fucking locked in. That's definitely not unique to you. That's a very common trait. You just stick with it.

Can I abuse this thing? Let's see how hard I can abuse it. It's creativity in your refusal to create anything. Yeah. And then what this game does is it throws out so many ways for you to A. Gain a fuck ton of party members. And B. Lose a fuck ton of party members.

Okay, okay, okay. It's crazy how many options you have in that regard. It's so, everyone is so interchangeable in that sense where for fucking just sitting in a bonfire, people at your party can just get kidnapped, die, leave, go, I don't want to be around here. Anything can happen. And if you have a team that you're like, yeah, this works. Anything can fuck that up, right? Guess what?

You got murdered in the night. Some bullshit went down. And it's not random shit. It's not like random happenings. It's fixed stuff. So you could learn and not have it happen next week. Well, I'm doing that by basically never sitting at bonfires and keeping the working team that I like, right? But the one time that like, there was a moment where I was forced to change my team configuration.

And the one time that I did that, I then tried out another dude and it was like, oh my god, this is even better. You're trying to be stronger. Yeah, okay. So I had one of those moments where like, fuck, actually there's a ton of practical ways to go through this. And I thought my way was breaking the game until the second one after that was breaking it even harder. There's so many options. Yeah. Like basically.

Nobody would have the same playthrough. Yeah. Like there's an archer guy who has an ability to like loose multiple arrows in the same turn. And it's like, oh my god, each one of these arrows is the same as like one hit. That sounds really good. That sounds really good. Multi attacks. Yeah.

And then at one point, like I didn't have them around, so I had to replace them with this fucking drunkard that does nothing but drink and he can give you guys, he can give you drinks, give more drinks to everybody. And everyone can get drunk and getting drunk powers you up, but then heals you, but it makes your accuracy lower. So I'm like, all right, whatever. I'll try that out. And then he gets an ability to spit alcohol on the opponent, which you can then throw any of your fire attacks. Oh yeah. And it decimates them.

A beast fucking fireball move. Yeah. So I'm like, oh my god, that's it. We're doing this now. You know, like you kind of realize there's a lot of ways to go about this. So that's pretty impressive. That's good stuff. I don't know if the game was made an RPG maker or not, but it feels like it could have been.

I don't know if it was. Because like the simplicity of the grid based, you know, tiles. Could be anything. Could be any sort of. Like Undertale was made in Game Maker. Yeah. Not an RPG Maker. Yeah.

It could have been anything, but you know, your overworld is as simplistic as it's a simple thing that if you fall off any edge and die, you're too bad. Yeah. Don't walk too fast. That's a harsh lesson you learn once. Don't walk too fast in this game, you know. Don't walk too fast. And yeah, and I can definitely see where the comparisons to Undertale and fucking. Undertale.

God, damn it. Undertale, Earthbound. Earthbound. Thank you. Earthbound's come in because there's like definitely those American suburban town areas. That feeling to it is definitely representative. Exactly. So it pulls all of that together.

You know, even though I'm not done yet, definitely recommend it. Really, really fun once you get into there. I really got to do that third Undertale playthrough. Yeah. For you though. Yeah. It depends on, it depends on what kind of person you are. I learned how to scrub the file, so I'm good to go.

And the other thing, right? Right. The other thing too is. I've re-scrubbed it so that I can scrub it again. Okay. The other thing with it too is that like Undertale and its pacifist run kind of fucks you up in other RPGs where you triple guess everything. You triple guess every decision you're making. Cause like you kind of like come into it going like, okay, do I have to kill it?

No you don't. Other games watch and kill and there's no problem with it. This game's strength is making its contemporaries worse. You think long and hard about fighting people, whereas you never used to do that in the past. It's like when RE4 came out, everything's control suddenly felt like shit. Yeah. Nothing could hold up. Yeah, yeah.

Right, right. It makes your decisions, the weight of your decisions matters so much more when the original intent was not for it to matter that heavily. Oh, that's so good. It's interesting. Well there's like, this is a design thing, but I always thought there was more value in you thinking that there's value in a choice than there actually being. Well perception matters more than reality. Like the Witcher, I think, handles it incredibly well. Like it didn't really matter, but it mattered when you were making the decision.

Yeah. And this game fucking holds that, lords that over your head constantly where there will be choices you have to make that'll either result in like straight up gameplay challenges that affect the way you play the game or things that don't affect anything about the gameplay but they make you feel worse. It did. It's one of those things David Cage talked about a lot when he's talking about heavy rains. Like don't play the game twice because if you play the game twice, you'll see behind the scenes, you'll see the moving parts, and you'll see that the end result of your decisions doesn't actually matter because it's more important is that you thought they mattered when you were making those decisions. Perception is always greater than anything. He's right, he's super right except for the times when he fucks up even that. Yeah.

And you don't feel like it matters when you're making it because you know it never matters. It has to matter like one out of every ten times. Yeah. It took like for real. Like although like in this game it actually does to some degree matter because I can't describe it because it's spoilers. No, it's a huge spoiler. But the state that... The specific instance that...

The state of my character is very... The state of it. The state of it is very vague and fucking... Yeah, that didn't have to happen. It's really cool. So I definitely think it's... I'm gonna... I'm gonna check it out.

Yeah, and then there's the... I also... I picked up this special edition that has the... The epilogue version of the game, at least with the Joyful, I think. Oh, right. Yeah, I haven't gotten to that. So I'm gonna see what that's about as well. Hey, let me ask you a question.

Have you ever played Wario-Kai Watch? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, is that good? Yeah, it's very good. I'm still torn on that auto battle stuff. So I actually wanna say something. Right, because this starts with... Yeah.

I was talking about, like, I looked into Yo-Kai a bit more, and then some people were boxing posting about it and stuff. I didn't get that from the first conversation where the battle was auto battle. Yeah, I didn't really mention it, because I didn't think it mattered, because you liked Xenoblade, didn't you? I didn't play Xenoblade.

You didn't play it? Okay, because it's... Xenoblade plays like an MMO. It's effectively the same as Xenoblade. I didn't play Xenoblade. Okay, where your characters auto attack, and all you do is, like... Use all of their abilities.

Use their abilities. I don't like auto battle. Okay, but, like... The way you explain it to me, all you're doing is rotating the thing. You're not actually peaking abilities. So what you're doing... Well, no, I remember saying,

you rotate the thing, and then you activate specials with each of your monsters as you deem necessary, and you heal the defenses. But you also heal them, and if one of them gets, like, a status ailment, you rotate them out, and then you heal them manually instead.

I completely missed that second part. Yeah. I thought it was literally just rotating it as necessary. No, no, no. Now I'm back on. The battle system... Touched up. The battle system has a huge amount of agency to it.

Can I not touch it? Is there a way to play that game with no touch control? I'm pretty sure you can use... You can use all buttons up to the minigames, but I don't know. For the minigames, I don't know. I think you might have to touch.

Like, maybe I'll give it a shot, and then I'll see. It's all simple stuff, like, spin, and tap a few times. It depends. I mean, that's it. Every game is different, and it really depends.

But in my head, like, I feel like the things I just like are I press the button, and it punches. Well, you like agency, right? Then below that is, punch is on a list, I'll select punch,

and then he'll punch. And then third is, he's just going to punch when he wants, and I have no control over that. And, like, I kind of... No, no, what he's describing is an MMO system, which the auto attack

will always go off by itself. Yeah. But all usable skills and whatnot. You have to do yourself. Like, that's how, like, the Knights of the Old Republic plays. That's how Baldur's Gate plays. That's, you know, that's...

Yeah. And I don't think I have a complete... Yeah, there's games like any of those. No, I think there might have been, but I can't remember. Well, the last story, wasn't there an option for, like, auto attack? Like, your character will do his basic combo

over and over without your input method? Yeah, there was something like that. And it was like, on eyes of all that, I was like, why the fuck would you do that? There was something like that, and I don't touch it.

Yeah. All those games you just described, I don't touch it. And a game where you control one character, I just wouldn't work. Yeah. I just generally don't enjoy that. There's a lot of agency to it.

Like, you're really not just sitting there? I would say, and if you do just sit there, your monster will die. Here's where I would say, and then, like, I guess that's what the demo would help me figure out. The demo will show you how the combat is, at very least, if you want to see that.

But the actual structure of the game and stuff, the demo's not a good representation at all. I mean, is this game out yet? It's out, yeah. Why is it on Metacritic? You're probably spelling it wrong. I'm probably... Y-O-K-A-I?

Yeah, that sounds fine. There's a dash. There's a height. They put a hyphen in the English name after Y-O. Oh, well, that'll do it. There it is. So, yeah, that's the... I just wanted to read more.

I need more. So that's... What's the score now? 77. 77. That's not the right... That's no Pokemon's killer. Nope.

That's... Everyone kind of says the second entry's way better, but I don't know. Y-O-K-A-I mostly fumbles its battle system and creates a relatively passive experience. Oh, no, that's... No, that's fucked. They didn't play far enough.

Says the reviewers of God Hand. They'll never get away from it! They'll never get away from it! That's weird, because you can't be passive in Y-O-K-A-I Watch's battle system, because your monsters will just die. You have to have agency. That's weird.

So, yeah, that's Lisa. Also moved off of Satoshi Khan and into Studio Ghibli stuff with her girlfriend. Did you check out that Friday the 13th thing? Yeah, yeah, right, exactly. I didn't make that up. You didn't make that up.

He perpetuated it. Yeah, actually, right before you say, randomly, like a few weeks ago, I said, did you ever see Mononoke? Mononoway? What? Alright, let's watch it. So, maybe in the future, we'll watch more.

No, man. Now that something's been brought to my attention, it's super true in all the Ghibli movies. There's food porn everywhere. And I just never took notice of it until now I'm looking for it. And like, man! In Mononoke, they're having like the little soup

and the exhaustively puts the soup in a ladle and puts it in steam, right? It's over the top. And it's spirited away. Forget about it. Forget about it, huh? Speaking of forgetting about it. But it's spread. Oh, there he is.

Bring it in. Have you seen Ponyo? Not yet. Ponyo is the best. The water in Ponyo is... That's the food porn, right? The water is the food porn. I'm gonna work towards it.

I'm feeling Sopranos coming up here. I'm about like maybe five or six episodes from the end. Did you kill that guy yet? Oh, did he? That's the only part of Sopranos I've ever seen. It's fucking brutal. Yeah, that was one of the only ones I'd seen, too. Look, in the car crash.

It was like, oh, God. Oh, that's not good. But, no. Yeah, I've just been blocked through those seasons. And what the fuck is there to say? It's the Sopranos and it's really good. Have you seen the zombie grandma thing? No.

You know the actress who played the mother of God? Yeah, she died before they could do anything. Like, she comes back at some point. Yeah, I've seen that. It's a weird scene. Yeah, I bet. It's the final scene with her is like fucking CG and Super Creek, but they had no choice. No, they totally did.

No, they really didn't. In the middle of a storyline. Hey, Oracle. Hey, Oracle. Hey, Oracle. Why you look different? Yeah. Oh, because I'm different now.

Yeah, yeah. So they did that. They did. Well, she died. Right? But it was necessary to have one fun. Well, then you don't know. You don't know.

The storyline ended in unsatisfactory because she died in a playing ground. And that's why you're a successful bio writer. Offscreen. So the one really weird thing I didn't know about this is there's a weird, like, there's a meteor hit her house and she's dead now. There's lots of weird, like, dream sequence type things that happen throughout the show and whatnot. So he's like talking to a shrink and stuff.

Really? Yeah, because he talks to a shrink and he has, like, weird moments where he has, like, a dream about something or a nightmare about something. I haven't watched a lot of Sprouts, right? I've watched at least, like, I don't know, 20 episodes in total. Happens pretty often. Happens pretty often. But there's one...

You tell me being a monster is a stressful life? Yeah. Yeah, there's one that, like, lasts a while where James Gandolfini is talking with no accent. And he's talking with just, like, an American, like, voice. Yeah. And it's so weird and interesting to see him do that. You know, and it just kind of, like, throws you off because you kind of...

You look at this, like, when you see anyone from the wire doing an interview, like, with the exception of Idris Elba, everyone just sounds the same. Hey, it's Cedric Daniels. That's him, right? But with James Gandolfini, it's like, it's so tied in and he does that one thing where he just turns the accent off and it fucking throws you off. He isn't a movie or two after the Sopranos, but he's been a bunch before. Like, he was in Get Shorty.

Yeah, he did. He worked. Yeah, so, like, I can get how blasting through a million seasons of Sopranos would, like, make you feel like that, but yeah. And, yeah, man, what a fucking great show. And then I also checked out the first episode of the new Aziz Ansari show. So did I. Master of None.

Master of None. Yeah. And actually, that's not true. I watched the first and second episodes. Me too, actually. Because the first one, I was like, this is kind of funny, but weird. And it's hard to peg where this is going. I gotta call you an Uber.

Yeah. You got an Uber Accelerator. Yeah. What's the premise here? Nothing. It's just him. Just anyway, no. Aziz Ansari, the person?

No. See, he's his play, his character's name is Dev, and he's just a guy. And he's just hanging out with his friends. What? He casted his actual parents as his parents. To play as his parents. There you go. Right.

So there's that. First-generation Indian immigrants. Yeah. Yeah, they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's how it works. And they're horrible actors. Oh, yeah.

Almost everyone, except for some, like, Perif characters, everyone's terrible. Yeah, this sounds great. So that's it. And it's like, like, the first episode, I was like, ah, okay. It was weird watching the first episode of, say, Garfunkel on Oats as well. Yeah. But then you get used to it, and it's fine. In this case, though, it was the second episode that sold me.

Oh, really? Yeah. Because that one was a little weird. I know, dude. Because Alan Yang. There's two moments. It's quite possible. Alan Yang there, the other guy?

Yeah. Like, he is, like, probably the worst actor of them all. There's two. These are right. And again, it says full season on Netflix. These are not spoilers at all. But there's two moments that fucking floored me. Which ones?

It was when, like, the parent is asking the kid, hey, man, can you just go to the store and get this thing for me? Or, hey, can you just get this iPad? Hey, shut up! I'm not your iPad man! Yeah, I'm busy. I gotta go do my thing, and then it just zooms in on the parent's face, and it cuts back to the old country when they were growing up with the chickens and doing this whole thing.

And an abacus. And an abacus. Life is hard, and shit sucks, and they work their way over to America, and then they get married, and then they have a hard time getting started with the business, but it works out. And then they have the kids, and they're like, one day, you're gonna do big things. You're gonna do big things. And then back to the shitty kid, be like, I'm not gonna go get your fucking shit.

I gotta go catch a movie. I wanna see the previews. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the part that floored me where he's like, yeah, dad, sorry, we're gonna go see a new X-Men movie, X-Men 15, and we really want to do the trivia. Before the movie. Before the movie. That's kind of it.

So, I'm just gonna go? Yeah. So, yeah. Just zoom in on stern face of old Asian man. I love it. I love it. Oh, okay. That's exactly what I wanted.

That's exactly what I wanted. And in another similar moment with like, you know, parent brings in like a guitar to a kid who's like maybe 10 or whatever, and he's like, hey, I got you like music to play because his parent has flashback of his parents not letting him get a guitar because they couldn't afford that shit. You gotta go make zippers, right? Yeah. And so, kind of brings one to his son.

And his son's like, yeah, get the shit out of my face. I'm playing the new game. And it's like Street Fighter 2. It cuts the Street Fighter 2. And you can't do it. Sure, you can. And on the court, like, the kid goes, wow. Yeah, that was the moment.

Yeah, that was the moment. He just cuts away. I didn't fucking kill me. Because we were watching this episode like two, we were watching this episode like two days ago when it cut to the Street Fighter 3 footage, we both go, oh shit, like it was for me. It was just a time being like, sure, you can. And wow.

And little baby Aziz just going, wow. Fuck the second episode. Dad brought me in, man. I just felt it ended weird. That's all. We certainly did. I'm into this. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's a Netflix show. So again, it's all up. And it's all there. Pigeon. Do it, do it, do it. Pigeon. All right.

Let's do some news. We got some news? We got some news. What do you got for news? I get, well, okay. There's a giant thing, which is the entire Nintendo Direct Roundup, which we did the video. Which will be going up. There's only like four topics to cover in the Nintendo Direct when you get down to it.

That we should, that we should bother talking about. You're right. So, you know, the extensive list, we're not going to, like one of those topics is to get your gold Mega Man. No, it's not like, no. Most of this is just updates on already existing things. Exactly. So one thing that's cool is the new Star Fox Zero footage.

It still looks great. I really, as you saw in the video, probably at this point. Nope. That, nope. Not at this point. At this point. Okay. We'll come up tomorrow.

All right. Well, the transformation that the Arwing does into like a little like ground running form is super cool, especially when you see it in that trailer, in the space mission. Like that, that is something I like to see. Because, you know, Landmaster and whatever the water one was called. Well, they showed it off before, eh? The little, I don't remember. The dino form one?

Yeah, I remember. But I like, I like, like the, because the thing is with the Landmaster and the water submarine they're like dedicated separate machines for separate missions. Yeah. But I like the idea of like. The Arwing's just able to transform. All range mode, for example. Yeah.

As long as I'm not an animal running on the surface. I'm fine. Yeah. You're right. I want to be in a vehicle. So go Platinum Go. Go Platinum Go. April, April something.

It's my birthday. April 15th. Yeah. I saw you retweeted my tweet on this next. Because it was solid. It was fucking solid tweet. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, uh, uh, Smash Brothers Crosser guys. Sakurai, bless the ring. Oh, no. Basically. Uh, Claude's in FM7. You just said Claude? I said Claude. So I guess Goku's next.

Claude, Claude, Strip. Oh. He's a sword character. What do you want? Yeah. He's a sword character that a lot of people wanted actually. Yeah. What?

Yeah, that's what you want. And the answer is Claude. And they got. I'm, I'm like surprised at how like unexcited I am for Claude. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's, that's like. It's like.

Okay. I think it's really exciting. It's cool. But like. It would have been so much more exciting if this was not a DLC character and this was alongside the original release. Yeah. Maybe.

I'm also going, I'm like vowing from now to not play the, that slot should have been blank game. So like I want Wonder Red as we all do, but I'm not going to play the game of he took his spot. No. No, that's it. Whenever people say he took his spot. That's horseshit.

That's a shitty stance to me. Claude, Claude is a golden spot that no one can take. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. But I used to call Brawl like video games the video game. But now we're really. Yeah.

That was Brawl. They even touched. No. But Mega Man and Snake in the same game was like whoa. Wait, wait. Sorry. No, no, no. Sonic.

Sonic, Mario and Snake all together. Holy shit. Yeah. But now. Snake was my favorite of the, of the bunch as far as like. Snake and Ryu really. Gameplay wise. Pac-Man.

Pac-Man and Mega Man. I don't care for Pac-Man's gameplay at all. Yeah. You know. Which is a shame because like it's Pac-Man, but like what are you going to do? He's kind of an antiquated icon more than anything. The mandated Namco character. I would have much rather seen Pac-Man as like a fucking shitty living sprite than the fucking

Pac-Man. Or as an assist or something. Steve Fox represents Namco. Pac-Man, Pac-Man stole Steve Fox's. You can't have Steve Fox as Mac is already Steve Fox. Exactly. Yeah. Namco is going to put a Tekken fighter into be Heihachi.

Boy, PlayStation All-Stars looks fucking stupid now. Well they got Heihachi. Yeah, no, but it's like all the characters like fuck. They got Cloud. Hey, Heihachi was one of the few where you look at it and you're like that's a really good game. What? That's a really good game.

Yeah. Somehow get Crash. Right in the still in All-Stars. Yeah. That's like huge. They got a couple of good ones. They pulled over your head. Neither of them are Cloud.

Yeah. Like sure. And Cloud like there's this part of me that's like oh he's just a sword character and it's like I love sword characters. They were taking Smash Brothers. Spam that down B. Yeah, that's so good. I love it.

You know I'm really, really excited to see his colors because I really want to see what they're going to do. Yeah, well I want to see his colors. You obviously have to have all the variants of the soldier like blue to purple to light purple to grayish you know and so on. All the different eras. All the different eras. I was really, really like for one of the color costumes or whatever to just be soldier first

like the generic soldier first class with the mask. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be cool. I really like that. That'd be cool as well. Like it would take more work because these are like model changes and not just color changes. Well they're doing one at least.

But we've seen the Advent Children version. So that's cool. And I wish more characters would have got actual alt costumes because it was only a few. Well because what I said was I said Zac, I said Angel and like maybe, oh I don't just mean for the cast in general and Smash. Oh yeah. I wish there would have been more alts like. True alts.

Cooper Kids got it. True alts. Olimar got it. Little Mac got it. A bunch of characters. Wario. But I wish there was more. I feel like a lot of the time like people just kind of not people but someone like Sakurai

or Nintendo. He's not a person. He's a robot. Right. Why not just give that character alts a slot? Like dark pit. One then you got Lucina and dark pit. Those characters do have slots.

The mic doesn't capture your facial expression. Did I ever send you that comic about Daisy applying to Smash Brothers and she looks at the application form and she's sweating and then she fills it out dark peach. Funny. What else is there? Lincoln. Lincoln confirms. Lincoln looks cool.

The character of the new Zelda game is going to be appearing in Hyrule Warriors. That's not the case at all. I wish it was. That's sad. Lincoln is doing equilibrium shape with crossbows. Like a lot of people already talked about it is an awful, awful name. Terrible. The cool thing about Lincoln though on the announcement is that she has like a little

CG section in there and that probably implies that she's getting like a new story pack or something which isn't something most of the DLC characters got which is awesome. Is there any reason she can't just be called Link? Because she's not Link. Is she not of alternate reality? No, she was originally his sister or some such. Oh, seriously? Yeah.

Oh, she's actually not. She's not Link. Yeah. I thought she was alternate reality. Is Ankara bad? Can we call her Ankara? What's your little sister from Wind Waker? Arrel.

Yeah, like what if she grew up to be a badass? Yeah, I don't know. She would be. There is Link old. You should call her Rhett. And what in your opinion is the other story we're talking about? Me? Oh, I was just...

Is that ever said? Star Fox Zero. This is a new plot. I just... I said four because I thought it was four but maybe I'm crazy. There's an amiibo coming with Twilight Princess. amiibo. Yeah, Twilight Princess HD.

Twilight HD. Twilight HD. It doesn't look like... I looked over that trailer again. It really looks like they're just upressing it. There's a side by side. Are they putting work in? Uh, it's an upraise.

Well, no. But there are... The textures quality is fast. We talked over it in the conference. They said gameplay changes but we're not ready to talk about them. Yeah. In the comparison, in the side by side, there is... Besides the upraise, you can see some textures have been changed.

Okay. And they dropped some of the bloom. That's it. That improves it actually immensely. There was too much bloom in the original, for sure. Well, for the Twilight realm, it makes sense. It's so interesting because... There's more in the Twilight realm, but yeah, it's everywhere.

Oh, so you can cover up the jaggies in the foray. That's what you should do. That's literally what they should have done. Most of the work was put into the character models so that you don't see as much of a change on them, but the backgrounds... Yeah, the backgrounds really, really change. They're way blurrier than I remembered when I was looking at the comparison shots. Oh, no.

I remember. Oh, that shit was blurry. Nothing will beat the comparison shots that Capcom put up. Twilight Princess? Yeah. There's something about that game and that era of like, because you were playing these games on HDTVs, it's like somehow blurry and jaggy at the same time. Yeah.

Oh. It's those Capcom shots of remake and remake HD where people took screenshots of the original remakes and they're like, Capcom made these look way worse. Oh, they always do. They always do. Yeah. There was this one thing that bummed me out in the Nintendo Direct and it was in Japan, they announced a new called Cept game.

Called Cept was an old series. Called Cept 2nd. Yeah. It's basically Monopoly Cross Magic Gathering, right? And it really bummed me out. They announced a new 3DS one, but the last 3DS one had been announced for Europe and they never followed up on that and it never came out in Europe. And it's like, it's shitty to see that now it's just kind of locked in Japan.

So that's ours. I've never heard of this series ever. I've heard of it. Yeah. It's in that level of rarity alongside games like Kudelka. Which I've never heard of. And weird to spell words. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. What series is Kudelka secretly part of? I don't even, I don't even remember. Something that I was kind of like, oh, that sucks too is that you didn't notice it during the conference, but like, Dementium remastered for the 3DS was supposed to come out towards the end of the year and I saw Jules from Renegade Kid just run on Twitter like, oh, I kind of thought there was going to be a mention of that, but I guess not.

And the bit, I mentioned this to you actually, there's a bit in the direct where they talk about the 3DS titles that are coming up and they said, oh, no, Rigi's like, for, for you owners, don't worry. You know, Yoshi's Woolly World just came out and coming soon we have Devil's Third and Xenoblade, you know, and he talks about all the games and I was like, wait, who was that? And I backed it up. Yoshi's World just came out and coming soon.

And it's like, what happened to Fatal Frame? Fatal Frame came out. What happened to Fatal Frame? Fatal Frame came out after Yoshi's Woolly World. Well, we're not talking about that because we couldn't like, we're not talking about that. We went to pull, you went to pull our hair and punch our stomach to get us to release that over the air.

That's fucking, like. But the only thing about that is maybe it's like Microsoft, it's like, it's like after Lair comes out, Sony going, hey, we just gave you Lair, unfortunately, even though I like Fatal Frame. Well, I don't think that happened ever. Exactly. And then Fatal Frame to where I point, but like, unfortunately, this ad fact is that like, it's like, like shittily reviewed.

So maybe that's why they even mentioned that. Yeah. But they mentioned Devil's Third. Yeah, they did. So like. But the American reviews are not out yet. Those are going to be good. They're going to be.

They're going to be good. They're going to be good. That's a good one. I'm surprised they even mentioned that. I guess he'll be a little bit of news that we can mix with news that we just saw now is that I was glad to see fast race racing Neo, yeah, and they said in the direct coming out in December, which I was like, ah, man, but just now, like an hour ago, we got an update announced that it's coming out in three days, which is fantastic racing Neo is the

most honest video game title of all time. Did you play the first one? I did not. That it was it was F zero cross Icaruga and it was really good and this one they're dropping wipe out. They're dropping the Icaruga. Yeah, you're right. Fast racing.

Fast racing. Okay. Okay. Fast racing Neo is the second most honest like title ever. Yeah. Looking forward to that. That's that's what it was like. I love that.

It's a tiny title. You shouldn't go. But it's like just like it's coming out now. Yeah. No, it's it. You know what? It's a tiny title, but as far as I could see, it could be in a box on the shelf. It could be in a box next to the rest of the Nintendo line up as long as like any other

racing game. It has online multiplayer and splits. It seems like it runs the gamut of features like it is a very small team. So not, you know, it doesn't like a full full fledged feature title. I mean, it's probably got at least eight tracks and it's probably like we could have a Wii you wear. You know, no. I mean, digital games now are like the Shovel Knight, right?

Like, like, does that deserve to be on a shelf? Absolutely. You know, you know what else deserves to be on a shelf that's going to be on a shelf here? Huge dildo. Gravity Rush Remastered. They're making the physical. I'm excited.

Complaining. Looks cool. Complaining worked again. Sometimes it works. Sometimes complaining does work. There's those moments and I think I think I hope people are getting better at this because there's times when you know that the complaining won't work right away. Like you look at you look at it and you're like, oh, that's not going to work.

Well, I remember this one. Like it's quite topical. I remember talking to a guy at Sony who said, well, it's all about picking your battles, right? You know, you win some here, you lose some there. And like, yeah, Gravity Rush Remastered was the one we got in exchange for like Oreshka not getting it earlier this year. You know what I mean?

That seems fair. So, yeah. But I'm glad it fucking deserves it. And it was a good game. It was a bummer when they announced that it was going to be digital only because that's a real big show of faith for for your confidence in the Gravity Rush series when you don't even want to. It does.

Yeah. Well, I mean, sales on consoles are still predominantly physical. So like, I don't I don't care about physical games anymore, but unless they're collector's editions. They matter. But they just don't care. Yeah, they do. Other people care.

Yeah. Yeah, that's that's what even if you don't care. It's not a good show of faith. Like I said, yeah. It's always it's confident. It shows confidence. Yeah, exactly. I don't like shelf space acts as advertising hugely, yeah, it's like, hey, what's that?

Yeah, you don't get that on the digital stores because they're all possible to navigate. No, exactly. They are all terrible. All a little worse than they need to be. That's for sure. Seems probably the best despite being the worst because at least you have a keyboard that you can search. Yeah.

Yeah. Depending on the game on Steam, you'll just go and they'll just know when it's uploaded a screenshot or anything and you have to go manually search on YouTube. Speaking of impossible to navigate, did you check out the first footage of Friday the 13th? Yeah, I couldn't follow it. I didn't know what was going on. It was too bad.

I'm not the expert. Yeah, I don't know what was going on. Character was being chased by Jason. Hey, but the... The girl was running into the woods. Oh, this is... Shit was pitch black. Anyone out there that wants to know this is pre-alpha footage.

Any other developer that shows you a pristine game and it says pre-alpha are fucking you require cowards. Even then though, like maybe not because this was lit, you know, like real pre-alpha sometimes not even lit. It varies by everything. But this looked nice and early. Yeah. For the game, not the game.

The game. Okay, yeah. The game. And you know, the pie, though, crust was still wet and soft. Right. That ain't even soaked yet. I guess the only thing I can glean from it is that the kind of like shots, because it was like a moving camera that was going around.

It was a dev cam. Dev cam. Yeah. And it was going around Jason stalking the girl and she's running and he's slowly kind of... Lumbering. Lumbering. And I'm like, that's fine.

That like that, you know, at this stage, that's all I really need to see. And she's running and then she's tripping occasionally, saccharis in full bloom. Every couple of steps. Yeah. And I'm kind of pissed off a flair. What I'm kind of pissed about that whole project, though, is that like they had so many, you know, it's kind of talking a bit into like what Mike Z was saying about Kickstarter is that they have some ridiculous things locked behind stretch goals that I'm like, are you

fucking serious? Like the majority of everything was handled pretty well, like for what they got for like their goal that they passed, but like five of the next Kickstarter goals were just more kill animations for Jason. And some of them really good. And I'm just like, what, Jason could knock someone's head off at a million dollars. Oh, I remember that one. Well, they know who's money they want.

Yeah, I know, but like you can't say at a million dollars, we'll add 10 kills. Exactly. That's how you, you know, that's fine, but they made their goal and they got the base amounts. So I'm glad. But that's it. Well, with that being said, I still think that like this probably shouldn't have come out.

It looks rough and they probably should have just held on to it. I think it was supposed to be a reward for passing. You're damned. If you do, you're damned if you don't. Every game that comes out on Kickstarter that has no footage at all, go like, show me something, show me anything. Well, even this footage came out after it had passed. Yes.

That's super weird. Yeah. Well, it came out, I thought this was something like, hey, Friday the 13th, let's put out something on Friday the 13th, and it came out on the 15th. So like, fuck, you know, but anyway, speaking of Mike Zymont, speaking of Mike Zymont, Indivisible has hit their million dollars. I think it's probably got a million point two now, they got a million and they got that time extended.

I mean, 2000. Who would they sacrifice for more time on the clock? So they have, I believe, 18 more days. And it looks like this campaign can now officially hit crushing it status. They are getting within crushing it status, the realms of passing. So if you haven't donated, go donate. If you have donated, put in a little more, just for me. They announced dude from fucking battle chasers.

What are you shaking your head at me? I don't know about that. I want this game to exist. The newest incarnation is Tatanka. Yeah. Buffalo. I was going to say we should all do it all at once, but you kind of jumped the gun there. But it's fine.

Not jumping the gun and reading the papers. Oh, yeah. Because he said he ruined my Buffalo joke. And Kelly Bretto from battle chasers, which was huge. I fucking really dig the size of him compared to the rest of the party. It's not 1.2, it's at 1 million and 16,000. No, when I said 1.2, I meant like 1 million dollars and 2 dollars. 1 million, 2,000.

It's 1.01. So yeah, go, go, go. And record broken. Yeah. Until next week. Until next week. Like all of the characters that they're adding for the incarnations, everyone is just as awesome as when they had all the various types you could vote for for Skullgirls.

All of them are like, I want to see every single one of these characters. I was saying to Willie, there's a couple that don't suit my taste, but then I look left and right and there's like two great ones on each side, so there's something for everyone in there. One thing these guys can do is just throw out a bunch of characters and go, yo, are you interested? Look at all these main characters. And you go, yeah, probably.

I want to know. So there's that. We've got the fucking coolest, god, I'm so excited. They're making toys of Virtua Fighter 1 models and they're accurate and they're super low poly bullshit crap models and they're great. Who is making it like officially? These are officially being made. What's the company?

Good Smile. Good Smile. Are they figments then? I don't know if they fit into the figment lineup. Let me see. There's an idea. Any event helps articles like Retro, Virtua Fighter models look awful. No, it says these figures look terribly awesome.

Terribly awesome. And that's the correct turn of phrase. Oh god. They look like they're totally figmas. Yeah, that's awesome. That's sick. So I'm way into that. I only saw the announcement that they were doing it, so it's really nice to know that

it's like going fucking Acura with the shitty mouth open expression. Hey, in the head now. When can we get Jeffrey figures? When can we get the shark figures? Shark figures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a cocky. That's cool.

If I could put cocky on his head, that'd be perfect. This would be the second ever piece of Virtua Fighter merchandise ever. Ever created, really? Yeah, I guess so. Except for the anime? I can't think of anything else. So there's that. Other fighting game news is there's some new SF figures being put into the concept phase

by Connecticut. That doesn't sound good. Connecticut is the name of the company. I know. That doesn't sound good. Because here's what they're planning on doing. They have a prototype for Psycho Power Bison that actually floats. Shut up.

It's a figure that floats like magnetism. Yeah. Out of my house. Out of my house. This news. So they have a figure of that. They've got some concept for other figures that they want to make, including this piece of concept art here that Matt should lean in and describe for the microphone.

Okay, it seems to be Alex in mid-spiral DDT on Hugo who is being ridden by poison. In his stage. On top of that. In his third strike stage. This is a statue that they're planning to make. Never mind what I fucking said before. Yeah, that's alright. That's a figure that could be really cool.

Not just Alex, mid-spiral DDT Alex. Who the fuck are you, sir? Yeah, I gotta fuck me what I said before. That's awesome. Oh, shit. That sounds really, really good. I really hope they get that green light. And Floating Bison is fun.

I like that. That's crazy. That's a lot of work. So they put that out. And there's another piece of peripheral fighting game news. Mr. Wizard, one of the guys behind Evo, put out a stage in Mario Maker called Wizardopolis and the first person to beat it got two free passes to Evo. Cool.

Nice. Go look at that fucking stage. I put a link to it. That shit is rough. Did you see the thing where, of course, he was asking, you know, what games do you want on Evo? And then he was asking if there were only one smash, which one. Would you choose for Melee?

Yeah. Everyone said Melee. Not everyone, surprisingly. It was skewed towards Melee. It skewed harder towards Melee. Yeah, definitely. It was more even than I wanted it to be, though. See?

Dude, I've said it a million times. I'm jealous that I don't like Smash 4 as much as I want to. Everyone's happy. Melee gets to be at Evo and Sakurai's happy because his other game doesn't get to be at Evo. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And as something that's getting supported for reals, it's a shame, I guess, that Melee's

still the thing and you can't have the new game be the thing. But in the last couple of years, would I have ever wanted to switch out 4 with 3rd Strike every Evo? I would. I'd always rather prefer to watch 3rd Strike than Street Fighter 4. I totally agree. So, I understand that. It's the difference between Starcraft and Starcraft 2 as well.

I mean, I know that destroys your fighting game scene, playing the same game years and years and years after it's dead. I get it. And you know what? A lot of old school heads that Vaillet and John Choi would rather see ST than anything else. Yeah, I'd rather see ST than 4. I'd rather see Killer Inksting 1 or 2 never and only see the new one.

Yeah, exactly. Certainly. No, that's a good example. There are cases where the new ones are way, way better. If you want your scene to show up, you'd rather see Dong Dong Super Plus and not just regular Dong Dong. Shit, there was another little thing with the polls. The other questions they asked were, do you want Street Fighter 4 and 5 or one or the

other? And it's like, dude, if you ask people, of course they're going to say both. Exactly. They've worked this question. People are always going to want more. That's not the question. Yeah, exactly. The question is, can you support it?

Yeah. And on that note, I would want both Smashers if they could be there. Yeah. Which game you want 4 or 5? People landslide over to 5 because this brand new game's not even fucking out. Hey, pay public. Do you want everything or some things? I don't know.

I would only like to have some things. But the game would be out by EVO. Yeah, but it's not out now. They're asking for the poll. Yeah, I guess. It's just such a goofy thing because the public doesn't take your budget into account. They don't take space and practicality. The budget.

You know? But yeah, so that was going on. It seems like Payday's microtransactions have apparently gotten worse. They got worse. Yeah, I don't know the details. Again, full disclosure, since more than enough people on the comments let us know that we know nothing about Payday, so they hate it every time we talk about it. I specifically talked about how the base Payday game, I don't understand this thing.

Yeah, no, so again, more than sorry if we don't know this as much as we need to. We need just a new problem that I can gather is that they have a new kind of unlockable. I'm going to describe what it says here. These are not the words that we're summarizing. Yeah. So there's a new mode, there's a new ability called Team Boost in Overkill, and what it is is it gives cash and XP bonuses to everyone who you complete a heist with. Okay.

The more players on a team that boost, the better the effect is. Oh, so it's cumulative. It's tax. Yes, the catch is that these boosts are part of a weapon skin system that requires you to pay for drills to unlock, so not everyone can just access these. You have to more or less effectively purchase these, and then if everyone on your team has made this microtransaction purchase, you get more XP and so on and so forth. You need your drills.

So yeah, pay to level indirectly. I remember seeing something about this and that these weapon skins used to be earnable, and that if you had already earned them, you couldn't get the bonus for the XP because you already have it. Which is like an extra nice little shit wrinkle into it. It's like, oh, I actually got all the stuff, well now I can't get it all. You played the game too hard. Now I can't get into this disgusting ecosystem.

You played the game too hard, you were too good at it. You must be punished. I'm not sure how accurate I was about that, but I did end up saying that. If that is the case, it's a weird one. I don't know if it is. It seems like they are embarking on a very aggressive monetary game. Well, you have to admire to some degree the balls to double down in the game. What we talked about payday to the last time is that the person who made those original

statements totally still works there. The person who said you should be ashamed of us for thinking we'll go microtransaction, that guy totally still works there. Does he? Yes. That was the correction. Everyone was saying he didn't. No, that was one of the corrections.

Well shit, that's huge. Yeah, that's a big difference. Fuck that guy. Well, assuming he's in a position to power still, I'm not gender now. If he wasn't in a position to power before, then he should shut his fucking mouth. Yeah, exactly. Like, man, don't play that game anymore, I guess, if it sucks now. That's a bummer, because I remember before all this, I remember hearing really good things

about payday too, like the new Left 4 Dead or stuff like that. All I know is there's cosplay, man. Yeah, easy cosplay. Easy cosplay. Easy cosplay. Yeah, go play something else. Go play Transistor on your Apple TV. No, I'm good.

What? No, I'm good. Come on. That's the confusing part of the week. Apple TV's game handling is super fucked up. Oh, it's really Apple's. But, Liam, maybe you could help me out here. No.

How? No one could help you with this. How did that happen? How did what happen? Transistors show up on the Apple TV. It's already on iPads. Bam. I can get Transistor on my iPhone.

You're done. Because I thought that Supergiant did that, like, exclusive deal. I thought that was a... It's on PC, isn't it? No, I don't think it is. I don't know. Transistors on PC. Is it?

It is, yeah. You dumbass. Oh, wow. I thought it was PS4 exclusive. No, no, no. Well, it was for a little bit, wasn't it? It was for a little bit, but it came out on PC. I'm sorry if that came out extra rude, but that's one of those super ridiculous things.

Well, you want to see the weird one? Because I remember, like, Bastion was everywhere, but I didn't know that Transistor made it everywhere. Bastion was not everywhere. Bastion was exclusive. It was for like two years. It's the same situation. Transistor came out the same day.

You want to see a weird one, though, speaking of that exact same situation. Helldivers? Yeah. Yeah, that just came out on Steam. Just came out on Steam, published by Sony. Okay, so fast. That's a weird one. It doesn't coincide with Transistor, because it came out way before.

Even it also just came out on the GBA, too. I read the effects. SFI 2 came out on the iOS. Street Fighter V has been funded by Sony. What's that? I don't know. I guess Steam, they have a data... Oh, Sony, put your games on the PC.

All your games on the PC. They're not paying as much for it as all there is. It's on Sony. It's like the quote-unquote exclusivity is really just not exposed. Yeah. Well, I mean, they've been pretty public about it. They've said, well, fund your shit the appropriate amount as long as it follows our plans to a certain degree.

They need to see how... Like, they funded Guacamele. That was a game they funded. And after six months, they had a time to disseminate it. And like, Severed is going to be the same thing, I bet, where it's going to be on iPad after a while as well, but it's going to be vide exclusive for a while. You're completely right. Like, exclusivity, 99% of the time, doesn't mean exclusive.

It means not on the other rival console. And like, Tomb Raider's actually exclusive, like, for reals-y, like, it's only on Xbox One. It's not even the PC version. It's on 360. It's on 360. And it looks amazing on 360. It's shocking, actually.

But that game, like, I was looking at the sales thing, like, it's doing really poorly right now. And, man, how did they put that game out on the same day it's fucking falling off? Like, all the exclusivity shit aside, that game is not off. The reviews are doing pretty good. Yeah, but it's not falling off. The real answer is it doesn't matter, because the only sales that matter is after December. After December?

Well, because, I mean, the holiday sales need to start. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. Like, you can have a rough week, but if early November, holiday sales is about to start, it'll do better. It did terribly. Don't get me wrong, but... Like, the exclusivity stuff, and that's a whole different argument, but like, they put

it on the same day as before. That seems like... No, it was dumb. But like, holiday sales, so... Just push it a little. Probably do okay. Just push it a little. But then it's up against Battlefront.

I think it would do a lot better against Battlefront than it would against fucking Kala. The week before was Kala duty, yeah, no, it was a hard pick. I'm curious to see if it's a better game than the first one, but I don't... I've heard people say that. But I don't know if I have that in me. You know what I'm saying? I'm waiting for the... For next year.

Yeah. Maybe next year. Do you feel that too? I bought it. I played like an hour of it. It seems pretty good. But what I mean is, like, from the test floor to my living room. Yeah.

Was there one on your test floor? The first one. Yeah, it was. This one. No, the first one was. The first one was for a long time. I didn't say that one. I said this one.

No, of course not. And he's talking about the first one. But that's why the feeling persists. That's why I bought it. You feel it too, don't you? That's why I bought it. That's why I bought it. The Phantom Pain is there, man.

Yeah. That's why I bought it. Because I'm like, maybe if I untested the first game at all, and I only played the multiplayer, so I was like, I really want to play it. I think if I'm lucky, next year I'll be able to handle it. Yeah. Because I want to play it, but I can't. I really hope this is better than the first one.

I'm glad I'm not alone here. The first one was solid. It had flaws, but it was solid. That was my problem. There's a rich curiosity within me that, like, my... You want to know. God, what is it? My triggers are stopping.

Yeah. Because of how we had to fucking... Yeah. Anyway, speaking of Phantom Pain, I guess now would be an appropriate time to say that we want to try and have, next week on the podcast, Super Bunny Hop, maybe? Yeah. We should contact him. Let's try and get that.

We're going to have him and Hideo Kojima. We want to try and get that on. Since there's someone that refuses to be on the podcast every time. Every time. Hideo Kojima. We're going to try to get Super Bunny Hop. Oh, wow. To join in on our NGS5 spoiler test.

He contested me like a month ago. I was like, I need to talk to someone. No one I know cares about Metal Gear. And Liam and Pat know that, like, I just had a moment of jumping up and down for, like, three seconds before leaving Pat's house the other day. I have so much to say. Yeah. So, like, okay, you just outed it, so I'm just going to be clear.

LP's done. You can't spoil us anymore. Yeah. Good luck. Yeah. But don't write spoilers. Don't do that. Don't do it.

Matt hasn't beaten it yet. What it means is if you wanted to, if there are cool things that we missed that you want to throw out our Twitter's. Yeah. That was a good time. That was a good time. Us and not Matt. Yeah, not Matt.

In fact, don't even put that out there because someone's going to fuck it up. Yeah. Someone will. Maybe just don't. But next week. Now's the time to do nothing. Next week is when you'd want to use your second tactical marriage to avoid the spoiler cast.

No, you just do it at the end of the podcast. Which will be taking place in your home. No, just do it at the end of the podcast. Just do it at the end of the podcast. Just do it at the end of Metal Gear. It's a strip club or something. I kind of doubt it will. Yeah.

There you go. There you go. Um, is that it? Look at those. Is that the full news docket? No, it's not. Okay. That's my favorite story.

The last story on the docket. Actually, no, there's two more stories. The second the last story is a really small thing, but there's an 8-bit Odin Sphere browser game. That sounds awesome. So. Isn't it like a Twitter poll to get it made? You got to retweet 28,888 times this tweet for it to get released, but I think it's already

dire. There's footage. It's probably. And it's like, yeah, it's already, it was already at over 20,000 retweets. So by the time we talk about it, by the time this is out there, it's probably done. I was looking at it. I was like, why? This is one of the stupid or marketing ideas.

Yeah. Let's remove all the art from the George Kami Tami game. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, it's funny. And then the actual final story of the week is. Oh, but I had wanted to throw in there. Sorry guys.

It was last week. Katokawa Games had their first presentation and outing of, hey, where are we at? You remember, they just jumped into games earlier last year and they bought from software. Yeah. They put out Natural Doctrine, which is the only game that makes me shiver when I think about it, because it's too fucking hard. They have a cool logo. They do.

And Rodea the Sky Soldier just came out that they published as well. And they do a really good job publishing them. They published it good. They did. They published it good. But they just announced their first two internally developed games in a post-natural doctrine world, God Wars, which is like a big tactical RPG. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. They announced that. They announced Root Letter, which you watched the trailer—The Arts by Minotaro who did

Love Plus. Do you remember Love Plus's Art? No. No? Well, anyway. The Arts by Minotaro. And at the beginning, you're oh, this is just another dating thing. And you get to the end, and the twist is like, then I killed someone.

And it's like, oh, wait, no, this isn't a dating thing at all. This is totally its own thing. But they both look really good. But the actual really exciting thing about it is from the first presentation, these trailers were presented with English subtitles. Oh, hey! And on their YouTube page, they've been putting out a few more videos, and they're all subtitled in English.

They announced them from the get-go for North America and Europe. So how is Slayer really going for the World Wide Audience? They're really seriously going for it. And I don't know, I think that deserves commendation. I think it's really impressive. I'm going to go off class. Assuming the localization is actually well done. The subtitling was good.

I think that's a fair assumption. It seems like they're probably going to be working with Nipponachi Software America to get a localization. Then, yeah, sure, that's fine. Because if a Japanese company is internally doing their own... Yeah, no, that's a recipe for disaster. No. I have another story to throw in really quickly that I'm sure will enjoy.

They're going to be remaking Memento. Ugh. Why? They're remaking Memento. Why? That sounds awful. It says Memento as a bad treat. Memento as a masterpiece that leaves the audience guessing not about the...

We will do new things and then bring this puzzle back to life into the minds of movie ghosts. Is it Will Smith again? Sorry? Jayden Smith will play Memento. I don't know why, but when I think like movies that are remade that don't need to be remade. You think Will Smith? Will Smith just seems like an obvious casting decision.

Just slap Will Smith in there. They're bringing it back to reignite the trauma in their life. Memento was not even quite... Oh. Did that ever get told on the podcast or something? It did. It did. That was a fucking disaster.

We actually did Memento before Memento happened. That was so frustrating. But then Memento happened. Memento was not even like what, 15 years ago? It was like maybe 10? Oh god no. That was when I was in high school. That was a long ass time ago.

2000, 2000. Yeah. So 15 years ago exactly. So fucking upsetting. That's amazing. That's a dumb remake that shit. You mean every remake except for maybe King Kong? Okay.

Let's play the game. What? Good remakes. No. It has to be good and it has to even like make sense. That they did it? Yeah. Because Star Trek and Wrath of Kong 2 doesn't count.

That's not a remake. That's not a remake. It's a new movie. Yeah. John Carpenter's The Thing. Okay. That's a remake. That's a good pick.

That's a really good pick. And also qualifies as bad remake when it's The Thing for the fucking pseudo sequel remake. That was a prequel. It sucks. I guess. It's alright. Omega Man and I Am Legend and then I Am Legend before that, the comic and stuff. That's one.

Oh snap. That's one. Yeah. But then again like medium transition is already, it's an adaptation really. Remake of a movie. Good one. We'll move on as soon as we get one. Well I said Kim Kong.

Each get one. Oh well that's going to take a while. That's going to take a bit. The Naruto movie is a remake of Cowboy Bebop. Nothing. Like good remakes? Like good remake movie. I'm pushing.

Was Old Boy any good? I hear it was awful. It was almost a shot for shot thing. With English. With English. Like I don't even think. So I said good but why should it even exist? Yeah.

I don't know. Killing the podcast by making you all have to actually get one. No I get whatever. Alright. Yeah. And I know that as soon as this is over there's going to be like 800. Yeah. I want to see those.

And then the final story. Finally. Okay. You can take it away. I'll just say the title. Ocean's Eleven. Ocean's Eleven. There you go.

That's a good remake. True great. True great. True great. There you go. By the way I want to point out that Ocean's Eleven will probably soon be ruined as it is also getting remade again. Dude.

There will be a new Ocean's Eleven. The ring is a good remake. The English remake. Okay. Okay. There's a good list. You just pulled up. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Anyway. It is. But we didn't. We couldn't come up with that. Don of the Dead.

Scarface. Okay. Wait. Scarface is a remake? Yeah. Scarface with Antonio Manderas. Uh. Well do you have an actual answer?

Thirteen Assassins? No. That doesn't make any. Okay. I don't know. Anyway. All right. Godzilla doesn't count.

No. That's bullshit. All right. We're getting distracted. The story title is Yakuza Kidnapped My Sister. Oh. Or should I say Yakuza Kidnapped My Sister. But why?

But why? Well, Liam, you mentioned a while ago that you were reading a book called The Untold Stories of Japanese Game Development. Yes. And it's good. I have that book in my bookcase right now. I have it not ready yet. All right.

This is an interview from the sequel to that book. The second volume, which is coming out in a bit. Untold Stories. It's up for pre-orders. Part two. And this is a game starter. Rumor. Rumor.

Prominent Japanese studio had Dev's sister kidnapped by the Yakuza. So he explains that he was working on this game for Nintendo and a rival software company that did not want him to make the game for Nintendo kidnap his sister so that he would not make the game. Or had the Yakuza kidnap his sister. Yeah. And he describes how the Yakuza, because of various specifics of Japanese entertainment law, they're in everything.

Yeah. Well, it's like the Italian mob in Montreal. Yeah. The Yakuza just deal with entertainment. You want me to drop the quote? Yes, please. In Japan, you have these evil companies that always crop up. And unlike the West, in Japan, there's a perception that play is bad.

It's the opposite of hard work. So amusement-oriented industries inevitably become infested with evil companies and ties to the underworld. Take arcades, for example. In legal terms, they're covered under laws regarding the entertainment and amusement trades. So they're managed under the same laws that regulate adult or quote unquote pink industry. After that, the underworld gets involved.

The only companies who have not been able to do business while staying clean have been Nintendo and Namco. So kudos to those two. My younger sister was kidnapped, redacted, hired some gangsters to do it. They did it to make me stop cooperating with Nintendo. So it should be noted that this takes place, the story he's describing appears to take place in like the late 80s. Because it's an arcade cabinet that got its name out.

And then he describes the story in which in order to show the Yakuza that he meant business, instead of fighting someone or murdering someone or what have you, he stole an arcade cabinet that belonged to this software company and dropped it off of a fucking construction crane in front of their offices to smash that shit and scare the fuck out of them, to quote unquote tell them, to show them I was serious. Now, this takes place in the late 80s and it's a fucking company that is threatening the dude with Yakuza ties to not make a Nintendo game. Do we have any guesses as to what company this could possibly be?

The company that's name is redacted due to fear of legal threats. Could be any number of them. Hey, when is Yakuza 5, the game made by Sega coming out this month? Is it coming out this month or that game Yakuza 5? That's a stretch. It could be any number of companies. That could be any money. You're going for Sega, but it could very well be Taito, which made lots of big Japanese

or games. It could be Capcom. It could be Square Soft or Enix. Why would Square Soft threaten people to not make a Nintendo game? No, but it could be anyone is what I'm saying. It could be anyone. That's all I'm saying. But it was Sega.

It was Sega. It was confirmed? No. Oh, it's Sega. Oh, okay. No, I didn't know. I thought you were just pointing fingers. I am.

And it's Sega. Oh wait, is there a confirmation? No. But it's clearly Sega. The implication is that it is a software company that would go to the lengths of kidnapping someone's sister through the Yakuza to prevent a Nintendo game from coming out. It could be Hudson? I was trying to remember the name.

I wanted to say, yeah, a little B company, Hudson. Sending out to fucking monsters. What is your deal? You're always talking about Hudson. You're always like... Well, because they had the TurboGrafx on the market. No. Maybe not.

Sega isn't the only one who had a console on the market at the time. They had the Master System. Why not? Totally had the Master System. It could be Sega. Like it could be anyone, for sure. It's probably Sega. It's probably Sega.

It's probably Sega. Like, Liam, you're right. And there's no proof. No, no, because I was curious. Because there is proof. I want to know. No, there is no proof. Yeah.

The name is protective. It goes into how he refuses to name the company. Because they'll fucking sue his shit off. Of course, yeah. But like... See your shit off. Like, you know, I remember reading the story of the NeoGaft topic and you just scroll down. And it's like every single person, nearly every person just jumps to the same thing.

I jumped to it before I even finished reading the article. I was like, oh man. My new Sega was dirty. I wonder if on the phone he told them that he had a very particular set of skills. Oh shut up. Yeah, probably. It's a good way to sell your business. Sonic's Crooked.

And it's just, it's like, man, Negoshi... Negoshi and his fucking tan and the... He's the guy that did it. He did it. He walked down to her house. He's like 12 years old. Yeah. He took her to the back of a donkey and locked her up.

There are some fucking quotes out there from some person on Tuchan that after some event where Negoshi didn't show up and it was just like, where's my tan Yakuza baby? He looks like a baby, I'm sure. He looks like a creepy orange baby in a suit. Not even. If you have stories about creepy orange babies. I was a creepy orange baby. You can write in to superbestfriendcast at gmail.com.

That's superbestfriendcast at gmail.com. If you are a creepy orange baby, however, we don't want to hear from you. You can hold off on that. I'm not a big fan of your emails. Actually, no, that's not true. We want to hear from you. I would love to hear. I was the guy.

It was totally nonsense. What creepy orange stories do you have? Just write in with the subject, I'm a creepy orange Yakuza baby. And I'll be sure to read your email. Dude, if next week you get like 10 emails in a row with that subject line, you're going to crack. I'm creating the filter to straight to the fucking trash box. Straight to the Yakuza trash box with the creepy babies. Alright, what do we got for emails this week?

We got one sent from an iPhone. Oh, nice. Sent from my iPhone. You always know. You always know. And the iPhone wants to know what deleted scene you would put back into the final cut of a movie. So what was that fucking movie that you talk about every now and then where you just watch the DVD and you're like, why is this such a good movie all of a sudden?

King of Heaven. Like that seems like the easy answer. Yeah, that's a director's cut versus a theatrical. In this case, he's like he's saying one deleted scene. Oh, I put the metal gear. That's what I fucking do. Yeah. I think he's saying for a movie.

Yeah, whatever it counts. The metal gear is a movie, so. I'd also put whatever ending was supposed to be after that ending back into the game, too. Whatever that was going to be as well. There's like, there's too many to list them off, but at least in all three of the Lord of the Rings movies, there's at least one scene in the extended versions where I was like, why is that in there? Yeah, dude, the mouth of Sauron. Yeah, the mouth of Sauron.

Put the mouth of Sauron back into the fucking movie. I think Lord of the Rings kills this one because there's just too much good stuff. And the Hobbit does not. No. It came out that the deleted scenes for the third movie are just like, it's just more battle footage. Oh, god. That's like, Jesus Christ. I don't think there's in a trilogy, there's one movie that's...

Six movies, an anthology, that there's like, not even Star Wars. There's no movie that's more of a sore thumb. Holy shit, this is almost unwatchable than the last Hobbit movie. Oh, god. Are you literally telling me that the Battle of Five Armies is worse than the Phantom Menace? In comparison to the attack of the clones and Revenge of the Sith equal out all the shittiness to the superiority of the first three, but in The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, Battle of Five Armies sticks out so poorly

that the other two Hobbit movies are like, yeah, they're all right. I believe them. I believe them in here as well. Yeah, because if Phantom Menace's quality was the finale, then you'd be like, yeah, okay. It's the reverse order, and Darth Maul was in that. Oh, man. So at the end, there's so much more writing at the end, at the beginning. And the third movie does not exist.

Right, they just made it. There is no third movie. It's based on nothing. If I was the actor that played the mouth of Sauron, it's so butthurt forever that nobody knows about me. That was the gyro copter guy in Mad Max, too. Wow. Okay.

They were like, we want to hire a freaky guy from Mad Max. That motherfucker. New Zealand, Australia. You were the coolest character, and you got cut out of the entire trilogy. You want to talk about fucking guys that got fucked in editing and got removed. Talk about David Prowse, the guy in the Darth Vader suit who did not know he was going to be dubbed over. So he did all the lines? Yes.

That's crazy, actually. You got fucking erased, and it's not him in the mask at the end of Return of the Jedi either. Yeah, of course not. But you know what? All for the better, because James Earl fucking Jones. No, sure. You're totally right. It's a noble sacrifice.

He was like, oh, I'm going to be the villain in this fucking big movie. And then he was fucking dubbed over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ouch. Just because it's so dumb, I would have loved in Return of the King. They went with their initial plan, which is that Aragorn has to have a big dumb fight with Sauron and his armor. Yeah, sure. And then they got a video game boss fight.

They fucking backed down super hard, because when people heard that they were going to do that, like, Aragorn was like, what the fuck? Peter Jackson, come on. There's all this test footage of them, of the guy and the Sauron, trying to hit Aragorn. And like, Vigil's Alice is so fucking stupid. Oh, also, we got to pay special credit to the back downing of the gem movie. Yeah. I don't even want to talk about that. Two weeks in theaters, and you get it the fuck out there, because it dropped from $2 million to $300,000.

You know what the budget for that movie was? $12. Like, $3 million, just like nothing. So it made two, and then it made $300,000, and then they're like, alright, we're out. Out on a low note. This was all a mistake. The thing about that, it's like, imagine, like, I like Jambo, I'm not like this huge super fan or anything, but imagine your thing looks like it's coming back, and then one thing, the most major thing, bombs.

So that's it. Yeah. Comebacks over. Comebacks over. Comic will still continue, because it's a comic, but it will run to its end. I'm not sure that's happening, but I can't think of what it would be right at this moment. But it makes me butter, because it's like, oh, look, nobody wants Gem. No.

When you put these trailers, everyone's like, why isn't this Gem? Oh, wait, now I do. Why is this super stupid bullshit? Even George CK was like, where the fuck's Synergy? Look forward to The Guardian Code coming soon. That's going to be a good one. It's going to be good. Dude, dude.

You remember when we were in The Five? Let's watch. That's going to be so good. I told the story on Reboot Episode Five. Okay. Okay. You had to crack me up so bad. Okay.

So watch Reboot Episode Five. That's it. Watch it. All right, yeah, we got an email. Yeah, we got one coming after Pascal. Well, it's on Pascal. Yeah. Have you ever stopped watching or playing something for a while approaching the end

because you wanted it to quote-unquote, stay alive? Oh, I've heard people doing this, but I've never done it myself. I've always just wanted to see the conclusion. Yeah, but I've heard people doing this. I understand the feeling, but I've never done it. But that's how the reason is. No, I got to February. I got to January, and I was like, go do the dungeon with Marie.

And I just like put it down. Like I said, out of laziness. But was it because you didn't want it to be over? No, because you didn't want to do the dungeon with Marie. It's both. Yeah. It's both. It's laziness.

Well, let's not put emotions where there are none. I have emotions when I go to the show. I'm sure your dick had a lot of emotions. And pathos. Look at this persona. This is the game with your girlfriend, isn't it? Yeah. Resay.

You know, your girlfriend. Resay on Marie. Holy shit. Yeah, I know. I got it. Takahata is so wrong, but I love his work. What are you doing in there? Takahata, take it.

You got a trash bag. That was really funny. I got it. Super sorry. See, I told you about that last week, but you didn't get to see the audio. I didn't see it. The audio was so bad. No.

He got it. He nailed it good. He fucking got me. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say I guess remake when it originally came out. Me and my friend were playing through it. And one night we got really scared.

And we just stopped playing it for like nine months. And we're like, do you want to play it again? Like, I don't know, man. I don't know. So it wasn't a hatred. Like, I don't want to play this game. And it wasn't laziness. So I don't know.

I don't know. And then like nine months later, we're just like, okay, let's do it. And then we tried to finish it and like, we still didn't finish it. And then I finished it by myself at home. Did you ever saw the conclusion? I, the closest thing I've had to that was reading. God, here we go. Fucking nerds.

Was it the dragon? Dragons of a Summer Flame. No. Okay. Okay. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. Let's okay. Okay. All right. So you read Twilight. Right, not Twilight.

Autumn. Autumn. You read Autumn. Then you read Spring. And then you read Winter. And then you get to Summer. No, Winter was the fourth. No, you've sequenced the one you knew.

Fuck it. Whatever. The point is, is that Summer Flame was the last one. And it was the biggest, thickest one. And as you're getting through that massive tome, you're getting towards the end. And I did reread the last couple chapters a couple times. Slowing down the pace of my reading. To mood.

I'd have a couple moments where I was like, I read it too fast. I got to reread this. And you reread it again. And you slow down the pace to enjoy a little bit more. That story was not afraid to kill people right at the end. Or the beginning. Yeah. But like, you remember there, like, there's like within one chapter, it's the one.

Let's not get like specific ones. I know. There's the one, there's the one chapter, it's the fight in the tower. Mm-hmm. There's the page. And it's like, I'm dying of a heart attack. And you go, no! Dude, that's like 20 years ago.

So I made it great. Yeah. You can read the fourth book. It takes place like 30 years after that with all their kids. Oh, dude. That's those books. And it's the new trilogy. Oh, dude.

The new trilogy is fantastic. Oh, should I get back in there? Should I? Should I? Only, only those books. Only with the fucking evil Joan of Arc shows up. Yeah. She's the shit.

You need to read those. And she's got a minotaur buddy. Yeah. It's not Kaz, but it's like Kaz and it's super good. But, yeah. Re-reading the last chapters. The last chapters of the shit. The last chapters of the Dragonlands books is the closest I've come.

Like 95% of that book series are side stories. But they all matter. Yeah. No, they're all great. But like, it's like Cowboy Bebop. Only the dragons of blank are the ones that actually matter in the world state. No, the only things that real, real matter are like the gods. They get mentioned every once in a fucking eight or ten books.

Time travel back in time. Let's go to Ishtar. Yeah. Oh, man. Let's go. Let's rock out right before the world blows up. I love the fucking premise of that calamity. The pope got so righteous and so awesome that all the gods were like, bam!

We all agreed this fucker needs to go. You're going too far. You're too awesome. We got to throw a mountain on you. Fucked him up. And lastly, we got one coming in from Michael, and this one's a bit of a story. Okay, let's hear Mike Zero do the story. Yeah.

It's not Mike Zero, dude. Oh, wow. Mike Z, then. Mike Z, then. Yeah. Let's read Mike's story. All right. I'm going to read it.

Hello to the super best friend cast from Merry Old England. Yeah. Boy. I just finished watching your AC Mission Movid. Oh, yeah. I would love to hear Matt and Pat attempt a Cornish, Manchurian, and Scouse accents. I don't even know what those are, man. Mancudian, I should say, actually.

Literally. I just got to walk this. The Pockney Rebel Scouse is fantastic. No, no references. I know that Scouse is like some fucking abomination. I've heard that. Go for some Welsh, why don't you? Welsh?

That's bad, because I'm part Welsh, but I don't even know. Anyway, just wanted to give a big shout out to the video game in Canucks after an incident on Sunday. I was visiting friends in Liverpool, an English city that's not in London. I know, I know. And one of our Parisian friends was understandably upset after Friday. Asked us if we wanted to come play a couple rounds of FIFA at the pub. All our jokes are always true about England.

Our Parisian friend's girlfriend was currently in friend, so we decided to bro it up and our girlfriends, bro it up and our girlfriends understand. And half an hour later, we were in the bar cheering up our friend and taking turns with our national teams. Taking shots every time we fuck up, singing the words to the Marcelais, which is the national anthem. I'm gonna say that. That our friend is trying to teach us.

As the conversation turns to... I've never heard British French. I should look at that. As the conversation turns to the real life international match between England and France, it's being held in London on Tuesday. And how it'll be the first time where English football fans will sing the French national anthem. And American crosses the room and shouts, it's called soccer.

We just concentrate on our game and say that lots of people call the game different things. Oh man, this is the best. Undeterred, the guy then proceeds to say that the soccer match on Tuesday means nothing and that the Super Bowl is ten times bigger. Wow. I love it. Explain that it's just a friendly match and is now more about showing solidarity.

Yeah. The guy somehow gets louder and more agitated by this. Oh, I love that. And in the weekend attempt at a burn, at the weakest attempt of a burn I've ever heard, he asks our friend how those freedom fries taste now. And that France only wants solidarity when it needs rescuing, which is every other week. Holy shit. He then makes comments about how the surrender monkeys would still be alive if their grandmothers

had fucked more GIs and received fighting DNA. This went from hilarious to dark and now we're in the gallows humor because this is so absurd that I can't help but get it. Our friend, already mourning, is visibly upset and super pissed. Yeah. No, really? Although he's pretty ripped, we know that A, there's no point in getting a record over this asshole and B, foreign students can get kicked out of their courses for physical

violence. Just as our friend is turning around and standing up to square up to his harasser, the asshole has one last piece of worldly wisdom, saying that the friendly match will have to feature the U.S. as England and France can't win anything without America even soccer. At this, a six foot four Muscle Bro Canadian appears behind the asshole and booms, we call it football in parts of North America too. No idea if this is true, but the sentiment is appreciated. The asshole is so intimidated that he trips forward onto the back of the nearest seat and

after looking at the guy for about a half a second, and I do literally mean this, he literally runs from the bar without another word or looking back. Muscle Bro. We invite the Canadian to join us and soon the true North strong and free is added to the roster and they all have a good night and so on. And then the Canadian team gets slaughtered and so on. Please note this isn't a dig in America or Americans in general, just that one asshole liberty equality fraternity.

God, what a fucking asshole. He had a good time hanging out with the Canadians. And he does that when they're in the country they're yelling about. Well this was a big crazy. No, that's what I mean. Who does that? You're surrounded by people. You leave your home.

You're not on the home ground, you're not on the home team. And it's not, you don't even have to get off my property rights. No, absolutely. It's fucking, dude, the fighting DNA, like, oh my God. DNA, the G- Oh. It's a cartoon. It's a cartoon.

It's unreal. That last bit became almost super villain-esque. Like I saw some pretty offensive distasteful jokes about the situation, but someone actually doing that in person? In your fucking face? Oh man. Not to say it's any better when you do it on the internet, but fuck. Yeah.

That's baffling. Well played. For not like absolutely destroying that guy. Oh no. That's, oh man. It's like. Okay. Those people are real.

That's what that story tells me. That's a human thing. But those people actually exist for real. Oh man. It gives you a little warmth in your heart when you're like, oh I'm not one of those people. Isn't that nice? Oh that's a nice feeling. What?

What are we looking forward to? Oh, I'm looking forward to continuing. Well, I only played like, you know, a little bit of it. I want to continue Tomb Raider and see if like, yeah, I kind of, just one of those games. Like a lot of others, the reason why I'm like, eh, I'll move on to something else. That and I really, oh yeah, Jessica Jones. Want to check out Jessica Jones. Jessica Jones.

How many hours is it? It's up. In like four days. Oh, I thought I saw the ad for it yesterday. 20th, 20th. Okay. Four days. Jessica Jones.

I still have to go see Spectre. Yeah. I still haven't gone and seen it. Hey, if you want to get a bunch of people together and do that, I haven't seen it either. Okay, I'll see it. The Ben is up. The people are free. I'm looking forward to, and I'm probably going to have to sit down and record a video

of it with Pat. What? Sort of an online lost song comes out this week for PS4 and Vita. And we're going to play it. Which one of these is my sister? Okay, so by the way, the new Reki Kawahara book came out, don't buy it. It's just as good as the old stuff. Within three pages, there's a picture of a girl bound up.

Nice. And it's like, wow, man, you're really good at this. You're getting faster. You really know what you like and are pushing it as close to the front of the book as possible. Who is Reki? The writer of Excel World and Sort of Online. Okay. This new book came out and it's like, fuck, man, I get it.

I get it. You don't like where I get it. Right what you know. Right what you know. Sort of our game, I'll probably have to look at that. We're going to have to look at that. You should be. I'll keep playing Fallout and the games that I mentioned this week.

Maybe that because it'll come out at some point, I don't know. That blog post had a November date removed from it, so maybe that was being delayed slightly more. That comes out this year. I'm looking forward to Super Star Wars comes out on PS4 and Vita tomorrow. So weird. And I haven't played that since I emulated it in high school, so I want to try that again. I think it was fucking hard.

That's the only thing I remember about it. I remember reading that, like, it's cheap as hell and it's just all about memorizing the shit, but I still want to try it for some reason. But I remember it was on video in Arcade Top 10. Yeah. And it was one of those games where they check back in and you can see that people are still on stage one. Struggling to get past the first stage.

Video in Arcade Top 10 was so shitty because they'd have like a little B-roll loop and they'd just loop it through the whole thing. That's why it was terrible. That's why it was great. Unwatchable. It was the worst watchable. But we all watched it. We all watched it.

So good. Because Nicholas Pickles is an amazing host. Is that his real name? Yes. We should do it. Let's watch that one. How are we going to find that? It's probably all available.

We can ask the actors to come back and redo it live. Yeah. We'll watch that. What do you look forward to? I want to beat Lisa so I can move on to other things. I probably am going to slot Front Mission back into that space. Yeah. How deep are you in anyway?

God, maybe six or seven missions. Okay, so you didn't escape Japan yet. Oh, I'm right there. Okay. I'm right there. That's not true. I did. The last thing I did was escape Japan.

Okay. And then you're on the Emma Story line? Yeah. You got a ways to go though. It's not strong. Because it was either that or start New Vegas and I want to finish my plate. I'll give you one name. Well, before you start New Vegas, come to me and I'll give you a fucking document.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Here are the trials. Can you just do it? I will literally go to your house and just do it for you. Okay. But I'll still give you a document. The document will be how to min-max your stats.

There we go. And I'm going to keep staring at frame data. What can I say? And stuff that's coming up. Charisma at one. Don't fucking put points on that. New Vegas is worthless. How do I make Saitama?

That's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to make Saitama. It's tough. It's really tough. I'm really shocked at how good people have gotten with that face thing. Because it's not sliders. It's grab a piece of the face. It's Mario 64.

I love that. Yeah. But with sliders... You've got precision. ...somebody could literally just put up. Give you the numbers. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

You're right. With John Cena and Saitama and all those people, people had to fucking sit there and do it. And kudos to them. Yeah. And it also means that if I want John Cena... It's not going to be exactly that good. Not going to be that good. Never.

Nope. What's coming out? We have Metal Gear's coming out. We got someone else coming out. I know that. We got, as you must have seen already, Mirror's Edge. Mirror's Edge is coming out. Now.

It came out today. Came out today. Gotta go fast. In fact, unless you're listening early, then guess what? It's not out. It's not out. Wait, did they come out today? Today?

I don't think so. It comes out... Tuesday. Which is today. Yeah, which is today. Today. So listen to the podcast on its proper day. And it comes out today.

And you'll be synchronized. And you won't be liars. You and I are playing Mirror's Edge. It's a good game. You gotta go fast. You do. Do we have that quick look coming up? It depends if we have a slot in the schedule.

Because right now we don't because we missed that kind of window. But you and I finish Undertale pacifist run. That finishes this week. That ending, I much prefer the pacifist ending to anything I've seen so far. It's good. It's a good one. Okay. Okay.

I guess the obvious is... Like... Was there anything else we should have asked? There should have. I don't think so. I think everything's good for now. Good. Alright.

Let's leave that. Alright, see you guys next week on the podcast. Or at any point when you click on the YouTube channel. The website or the vessel page. Awesome read. What a terrible ending. You just shattered any momentum. I'm withdrawing two best friends plays ads from this podcast.

You? Yeah, I know him. You put me in charge of it. I didn't do that. Well, why did you tell me to put him in charge of the ads? Oh, I don't know. Oh, this is also a terrible ending. It is.

That's two weeks in a row. It's your fault. It's my fault in both cases. It's my fault. It's definitely... You've already been here. Exactly. It couldn't have been my fault.

So look forward next week to me ruining the ending of the podcast. Fuck it. Talk about Zach's haircuts. Zach looks fucking dumb. He doesn't look great. He's all shaved and shit, but he's got a creepy fat pouch. Yeah, looks... I'm not great.

I like it. I think you look sharp. Yeah. If a cat can look sharp, it's really sharp. They have claws. They literally have sharp claws. Alright, bye everybody.