Castle Super Beast - SBFC 168: It's Fine As Long As You Don't Wipe (feat. SuperBunnyHop, Austin Eruption, EmiKnightly)

Episode Date: October 25, 2016

First, Pat, Woolie & Liam discuss the polite bathroom ethics when using the Nintendo Switch. Then, Matt, Woolie, and our special guests discuss polite Blackface ethics at Portland Retro Game Expo. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/superbestfriendsplay

Why are you like giving false rumors? Why would you do this? Were you in Seattle? I was in Seattle. No, I was not in Seattle. I was gonna say you were in Portland. Portland, Oregon. Not Seattle. The place where the Oregon Trail happened, I did not die of dysentery. Matt did not die of dysentery.

Are you sure? But did you die of dysentery? That's not funny. Yeah. Don't hit the table remains a smart rule that I completely forgot about. Yeah. Because it jams all these mics up. No.

Fucking stupid. Dude, like, where's your physical sandbag when you need it? Um, anyway. Hi. Should we just buy, like, real, like, rain damaged sandbags and put them all over the table and actually just drop them off? And you can just slide them in front of yourself to hide from a bad joke? And then you can peek out every once in a while to see if the damage is done, but,

you know. It's important in a time of need. Yes. Hey, so yeah, Matt's behind because he loves his wife and he's doing that thing. Yeah. They're having a fun little trip actually in Seattle, right? I think. Yeah.

Yes. Actually, that's happening actually in Seattle. Okay. Yeah. And that's going to be taking place. So for the next little bit. So in the meantime, wait, why were you in Portland? I was you live in Montreal.

Wow. Yeah. No, I was down there for the Portland retro game festival. Uh-huh. I believe is that retro game festival farm to table. You see so right off the bat, you get there and you're expecting like, all right, Portland, Portland, yeah, let's go hit me up with your and it's like, you know what? Yeah.

No. Yeah. They, and I, and I, do you went to the wrong parts of Portland? No, no, no, no. Hear me out. Hear me out. It's not like you feel, it's not like you're getting into it and you're seeing like, oh, no, Portland exaggerated it.

It's like there's little, like it's tucked underneath the corners where you're like, it used to be this way and ever since Portlandia they dialed it back and they're trying to hide it. Because they know because they know. They super know and they're super aware and like you can, and like every once in a while, you'll catch a little bit of a thing, but it wasn't until we went downtown and we got to Powell's, the bookstore, the major bookstore, where it all came out, it all came pouring down the steps.

Like the floodgates opened and every type of hipster, every type of ear spacer, every type of performance art project, all of it came just crashing out. There's a guy right at the steps of the fucking bookstore that he's like a busker with a type writer and he's like your poems, your length for any donation, your topic and he'll write you a live poem and I'm like, now we're in it, now we're in Portlandia. Did you ask him for a poem? I did not. We were in a hurry.

You should have paid him for a poem about something cool. Dude, the dream of the nineties was in fact. You should have asked for a poem about how you hate hipsters. And how type writers are for losers. He would have probably delivered. The smug look on his face told me that he probably had that scam down. I prefer our street stand by of Spoon Man and Spider Man that occasionally gets beat up.

Yep. Family singing Michael Jackson music is pretty good. I like those people and we do have... You ever see that crazy old Russian guy that just sings on the corner and he's not, he just doesn't have a hat out? No. I've seen the guy with the creepy growth on his stomach. Creepy growth guy.

Yeah. Have you seen that guy? I haven't seen creepy growth guy. That guy is running a good scam and there was a whole big thing on the Montreal subreddit about him because I had to, whenever I meet someone who bugs me, who is homeless, I have to search to see, is this guy running a scam or is he legit? Is it a scam? So he comes up to you and he pulls up his shirt and he shows you this awful growth.

It's not good. It's a big growth. It's big. You don't want to pop that, right? And he tells you he just needs money so he can get back home and he can get his operation there. Doctor. Because he's covered there because he has a doctor.

Whatever, right? Some something. And he's been, apparently, after I Googled it, he's been doing this for like over five years. Yeah. So he's due for death anytime now if he's for real. Right. Exactly.

Well, and the story is that he needs an operation within half a year or something. Well, that's not true. Yeah. Ultimately, though, no, I was, I was, I'm sitting there in the library, the book store, which is a really impressive bookstore, mind you. Sure. The fact that you almost called it a library, like says a lot. Yeah.

It really did feel like when there's more sections than you can count in places and people just chillin, walking, talking, buying and I'm looking around and like it all hits me. And then I look at myself and I'm like, and I too am a hipster in Portland now. I was going to say you fit right in. I was trying to figure out how to work that. Oh, God. No, don't even think I'm crawling out from under the bus, dude. No, no, no.

I am right the fuck in there. Good. Good. Glad you know it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't even shove my fist through your ears. There's like an offset because usually black people don't tend to go that way. Usually. It's a modifier. It's a modifier. Like a point-bone? Yeah, yeah. It shouldn't be, but it just happens to be, because like, you know, the odds of someone

else in your family looking like this ridiculous are a lot higher than the odds of someone in my family. Yeah. I would think so. And that's you come from one of them traditional that's what I'm that's all I'm trying to say. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But whatever.

I mean, the actual expo itself was pretty solid. It was like, it was bigger than too many games, smaller than MagFest, obviously, but it felt like a mini MagFest in the way like the large expo center presented itself. It was a lot of it was all about, it was setups in the dealer's room was pretty much the split, right? Yeah. It was really like, I mean, there definitely was like a couple extra areas for panels and things like that, not that I would know because I had to be on a plane when our panel

was scheduled at 12pm on a Sunday. So that got canceled, right? No. Or did George hold it down? I saw a screenshot of many, many dirtbags and Matt on a panel somewhere. My understanding is that Matt and the blackface boy, I'm glad I'm glad that they didn't wear blackface to our panel. It's appreciated.

It's appreciated. And for further, oh, this is going to come back on us so bad for further elaboration and details on the nature and the evolution of the blackface boys and how they came to be. Stick around because at the end of our segment here, we Matt, myself, George and Austin and Emmy sat down in Portland and discussed, pre-recorded a bit, the origins of the blackface boys and also just got their impressions on the nice happening this week. So it's a little.

This is a good goddamn week for particularly Bunny's impressions. I desperately want to hear that being said, I could just bug him. So that'll be stitched to the end of the audio podcast. Exactly. What you're listening to right now. Yes. Isn't that crazy? It's nuts.

So in Portland, I guess, at the PGRE, the purge, as they call it, the setup is basically huge room with tons of cabs similar to the magfest arcade room, like lots of the photos I was looking at. I really wanted to go by the way. The photos I was looking at made me think of magfest a lot. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. The thing about it, though, was that the machine selection, of course, retro is the focus.

It was mainly trying to like be those types of games, not necessarily modern stuff. OK, so I have a really, I don't know if this is relevant or maybe this is a stupid question, but I was recently made aware that games that I grew up with, that I view as current, came out like 15 years ago. So what classifies as retro now? As retro in my mind could be anything from like the Xbox 360 kit was out in 2005, wasn't it? 11 years.

Yeah. What is it? I think retro. What's the most modern thing you saw? What's the newest thing you saw? Well, the newest thing I saw was a Tron legacy and a game of Thrones pinball machine. Oh, game of Thrones pinball machine sounds awesome. But they're pinball machines.

But they're pinball machines. De facto 30 years older. No. They're time locked to like 1952 or something. So the format itself is automatically like retro, no matter what the subject matter is. I mean, they did have the BYOC section, I guess a GameCube. It's like Halo one is retro now. I do think at this point in time, GameCube PS2 and Xbox fit into that bracket.

There were of course late releases like Rydo, Kuzunoha two and stuff like that that came out in like 2006. That game is awesome. Again, it's fucking dope. Okay. It's great. Like I do think those consoles kind of fit into the retro bracket now because they are like coming up on 15 years old.

You can't buy a PS2 in the store anymore. No, no, those days are gone. But either way, like the, I mean, the retro game expo was pretty much heavily, it was heavily, heavily focused on, you know, 8-bit, 16-bit. So 99 bat, no, what's, so you got to play the worst killer instincts. There's like what, 96? K-I-K-I-1 was there. Why would there be a Chrono Trigger set up?

Well, because no, no, no, because my brain says the Super Nintendo is Chrono Trigger time. Right. It was, it was basically a, a like gradient of like from the oldest games are the bell curve of most of what you're seeing. Yeah. And then it tapers all the way off to modern like 84 to 89. But there, but everything was present.

You know? Okay, yeah. That's cool. Yeah. And it was good. It was good. It was a good time. That was fun to check out.

I'm, I'm really excited for a time period when like there's retro and that's what we're doing now. And like the games that like, you know, Pac-Ban for the Atari is like 50 fucking years old. And there, there is not one generation. There are two generations in like of people in between then and now. Well, luckily for you, I can tell you about a cool thing called wait for 15 years, which you're going to be able to do. So eventually, assuming I don't die, assuming I don't die, I'm not going to make it to the

end of the day. I think you've got 10 of those in the bag. In the bag? In the bag. I'm 30 now. Yeah. I think. Oh really?

So none. Yeah. Shut up. Maybe. Come on, man. No. I'm doing a good job. Like it was, it was, it was a, like the, the, the, the, the, the, blah, what am I trying

to say? Yeah. Trying to say that the pinball section was, there was more pinball machines than actual arcade machines of like other games. Cool. It was nuts. Someone's big pinball collection came out. Yeah.

And I spent a ton of time playing pinball and like more than, more than any other con. More than you expected. Yeah. It was really cool. Cool. Kudos to everyone involved with that because as shitty as moving an arcade setup must be, I can't even imagine what a fucking nightmare it is to move. God, dude.

Even one pinball machine. I don't know, but do you dismantle pinball machines when you move them? You know, do you take the legs off? I don't know. Cause I have no idea. I feel like you just do it carefully. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like I feel like, cause there's too many parts that would probably break and smash. Yeah. But the legs feel so carefully carried. Compared to the top heaviness of it. Cause that's what I'm wondering. Like do you just put them all in a truck and hope for the best? Like package them well. Take those turns.

Like easy. Or do you take off the legs and the backboard and I don't know. I don't know how you transport a pinball machine. I've never, I've never attempted to lift a pinball machine. You can only shake vigorously from left to right. You can't lift a pinball machine. And they have the tilt detection on them and all that shit. Exactly.

Like fucking trying. Tilt detection is a bunch of horseshit. Well, sometimes you need to tilt. No, it's just going to break the fucking. Because I don't give a fuck. Like I need to win. When I was playing, I was playing the Star Wars pinball machine. Like the ball like lodged itself in the top of the launcher.

And it was like, you have to tilt. Yeah. Okay. You know, there's no way out. But I fucking, I pro, I camped myself on the Black Knight 2000. Yes, you did. Of course you did. It's the best.

It's just the best. There's, there's no way around that. It's legendary for a reason. So that was really cool. Managed to pick up some cool stuff while I was down there as well. I grabbed that. And this was mainly like, I guess, a combination between the con and the bookstore that we went to.

But I picked up the attack on Titan anthology, which is that is a, a pretty cool book that is basically, I think I've seen this. Yeah. It's nice. So it's basically like a, a collection of different stories inspired by the attack on Titan universe. Oh, okay. By different authors and writers and art artists, which is really cool.

It was really, yeah. And it was a fun, it's a fun reading that they're not all gold. I was going to say what they're not all gold, possibly, but they're also not at all Japanese. Yeah. It's like it's all Western artists. It's all Western artists. And it's, and there's some interesting stuff there that I think is worth your time. The last story especially is pretty fantastic.

So that's cool. Yeah. That looks really fun, actually. And I also, I grabbed and started reading through I am a hero, the first volume of that, which is a giant, giant, um, collection, yeah, it's a cool manga. And I, I guess I expected a little bit differently because I was told it's like, Hey, this is going to be a crazy zombie story. You should guys, you should check it out guys.

And it's like, it's such a slow build because it's so like, um, it's such a, what should I call it? I guess like a slice of life ish. And then it eventually turns into, I'm guessing zombie stuff, but right now the zombie stuff is trickling in. No, it's, it's going to get, it's going to get really intense. Okay. It's quite cool.

Okay. So I need to ask a question about this because I have this question about all zombie fiction because world war Z spoiled me the books. The most interesting part of zombie fiction is the week when it's starting to get kind of suspicious, but things haven't actually gone to shit yet. Like they're normal. Okay. Right.

But oh, I'm looking at the news and it's, ah, there's problems, right? But that's fine. Right. That, that bit. Yeah. And that's why I love the intro to last of us so much because you see that exact moment. Does that thing have that in spades? Cause Willie's telling me that the zombie stuff is like, yeah, I mean, I looked at where

Willie's bookmark is and he's probably not at the, yeah, I'm halfway through that. He's like a, that's awesome. Yeah. I'm a, I'm a lot of pages in and I'm like the, the outbreak hasn't started for sure. That's great. Right. There's just like, there's a, it's the, in the background of a normal story, yeah. A couple of weird things are happening.

Yeah. So I think you're going to get what you want out of this. I'm going to think about that then. Um, I, yeah, it's, it's so far so good and it's, it's interesting how it's also a commentary on manga and like, in a way, in a way, like, like the, the, the, it feels like the writer is kind of like, or at least the main character is like basically maybe like giving off what the, the artist or the, the writer of the manga itself feels to be the case with a modern day manga or something.

Or maybe. Does the main character get distracted playing idle master and miss his boat for seven years? No, but like he does struggle to meet deadlines as he works at a manga studio. Oh, well that's really over and again, that's just real life. So it is, it is. So there's that going on. There's a comic that came out that I noticed called Vote Loki and dude, like you can just imagine as a comic with a comic called Vote Loki, what the deal is going to be.

It's like. Is he running for president? Loki of the Marvel Universe is running for president and straight up like they are doing like modern day political climate, except in the Marvel Universe, in the Marvel Universe. And then Loki's like, you know what, fuck these two candidates. Yeah, I'm going to lie to you, but I'm going to lie to your face and you're going to like it. Vote for me.

And everyone's like, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. What about that? What about all that bad stuff he did? Like, yeah, I'm a super villain, but I'm convicted. It's because I hate the man, the man that's trying to get you down.

That's good. I'm trying to stop the man. Thor's a dick. It's like, it's fucking, it's, it's great. It's a petty. It's really petty. That's good. That's cool.

I didn't know about that. Thor, you can't punch the president. But it's also like, it's also like, like he starts running like catchphrases, like going up to the, the, the, the rallies as it were, you know, and it's just like, I guess that was a lie. And everyone's like, yeah, I don't want it, you know, exactly. That's like two steps removed from the absurdity that happens in the shadow run universe. That's like, that's like one step removed from real life.

Yeah. Where the president in shadow run is like a dragon and he gets assassinated. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. So stupid. Okay. So dumb. And he's like, listen, I'm fucking a hundred thousand years old and I'm fucking overflowing

with the, the knowledge of the mystic ancients. Wow. Both for me. Okay. Uh, yeah. Well, no, this, this basically, it goes as far as reasonable within the Marvel universe, I guess. Um, just, did you read the whole thing?

The whole thing? Just tell me it doesn't end in a big dumb con punching con. No, no, no, it does not. That would be the lamest fucking shit in the world. No, it does not. That would be super bad. That would suck. What's his platform, by the way, that he's running on?

Well, you have to read. Okay. That's a plot. I would like to read it. That sounds cool. Absolutely. Absolutely. Here you can borrow it.

Oh, perfect. Well, that's that. And it saves me a trip to the store. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's exclusive. I can see it right there.

Yeah. It probably smells weird. It's, it's fine. It was raised on a farm that cared for it's, it's comfort. Our beef is only given the fattest cloud rips from fake machines. Uh, there was a lot of really cool, um, modded stuff that was basically like, uh, uh, they had an N64 that was modded to have HDMI output. And like Matt and I were just like, okay, that is a problem solver.

Well, I was going to buy recently, fuck, I forget what it's called because I haven't looked at it in a second, but there's a $700 NES you can buy. Yes. Okay. That has, they had, they had the, there's that, there's the Retron 5, which, which is trash garbage, throw it in the garbage. Who cares? Oh yeah.

Yeah. Is it not good? They're running, they're selling stolen code. No, no, no, but like that's a, it's fine. It's software emulation. Okay. You can do better in this. Because like I, I was going to be like, really, it's a criminal device and it's shitty.

No, it's, it's, it's fine, but you can do better. Like you can play on original hardware. That's always going to be better. You know, the Retron 5's for someone who doesn't want to buy all the original hardware. Okay. You know what I mean? So me. Yeah.

So you're looking at that list of games that it's supported, or rather consoles that it supported. A lot. It sounded amazing. Yeah. But they, they stole a bunch of code. But also it's like. For people who made the emulation.

It's like, it's not, it's bad feeling to buy because of that stuff. That's, that's most of it, honestly. Yeah. But I mean, I mean, but if you're, if you have the hardware or you're willing to buy the hardware, buy the hardware. Well, if it's like, like what's going to run your game better, a Retron 5 or an NES? It's going to be an NES every time, you know? Okay.

You know, man, if you're going to, if you're going to feel bad about using stolen code, you might as well just jump straight to emulation in that respect. Well, I don't want to buy stolen code. Yeah, exactly. Right? That's it, right? Yeah. You can steal it.

They're, they're, and the thing is too, is there was a, an actual NES that had an HDMI output that was like modded as well, a different type of console. I even saw like from back when I was a kid, they had the 168 in one cartridge that you could play. Those are fun. I hate that. They had two fucking snails at the bottom and they had, they had all that, all that old stuff.

So no, I mean, I kind of, I don't know, but that N64 one was something that I was like, for work purposes, this looks like a lifesaver. And then you're like, the N64 sucks though. Why would we want to play games on that? Because there's games that we want to play on it slash in fact, actual LPs that we would like to consider doing if we can get things going properly, right? It's a problem. Yeah.

There's more than one LP. There is more than one and back LP in fact. But before we continue, we're going to take a quick word from our sponsors, but before that we're going to take a quick break. I hate technology and technology is, is sometimes a nightmare, but sometimes it can be a blessing such as for example, that's good. If you use the technology brought to us by game fly game fly. It's like technology isn't the primary technology that game fly uses the mail.

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Check them out. Thanks Dollar Shave Club. Thank you Dollar Shave Club. Thanks Dollar Shave Club. And we can roll back into our normal, normal week. So back to our shit lives. Back to our shit. Well, I mean, you know, you don't have to actually acknowledge it like that.

I mean, I had an all right week, you know, I had a great week. I didn't feel like it was a shit life. I made a big thing of macaroni then it was great. You your weeks are starting to have something in common. Make a lot of food. I like food. Yeah. I like cooking food a lot.

I made too much food. So well, why don't you go? Why don't you take us through that then? I mean, I made a big thing of macaroni the other night. I want that to be your whole week. It used a whole kilogram of cheese. It was great. You used a kilo of fucking cheese.

That's going to last a few days. How much mac and cheese did you make? Pound wise. Enough. Like it takes like, I want to say it takes like 130 to 180 grams per serving, right? So this is like, you make 15 to 20 servings of mac and cheese. Well, no. Well, no.

If it takes like 170 and there's a thousand, it's been established that I'm bad at math. Yeah. It's more like six, six servings. Why, why always too many? Why always too many? Well, because I make some for my girlfriend because she needs lunches for work. Yeah. That makes sense.

Okay. And then she has lunches for work and every day she gets to think of me more than she already does. Oh. That's very sweet. You bento it a little bit. Oh yeah. I got a reminder.

She can't get away. Remember, you're here forever. You're here forever. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I did actually play a lot of games this week. Yeah.

Because you've been mentioning over the past week, ever since VR came out that the release schedule is getting ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to catch up next week. I'm going to kill it again. I played more of Loading Human, which is the game that I complained about a lot on the podcast.

You sure did. I got to the awkward romance section. Yeah. Romance at VR. Where you save a woman from a fire. Yeah. When you get back out into the hallway of your little cool station thing, you're in this space station.

It's still on Earth, though. Anyway, when you get back in the hallway, she's like, oh, kiss me, and I'm like, what? Was it called for? And she sticks her face out. I'm like, this doesn't feel entirely called for. I don't really feel like I've gotten that far with you, but there's been some time skip, so okay, I'll assume it was off-screen romance. Listen, it's fireman or hot.

So the answer is you clip your face into hers, and it plays a smooch.mp3. Oh, like a mew. Dude? Dude? Oh, that's terrible. It just clipped right into her head when I went for it. That's the worst, dude. That's the best.

It's pretty rough. New wave of romance. I played a little bit further. There was another time skip, and now I'm looking for a fucking light bulb. And boy, is it not fun when you don't know where you're going in a VR game. You know in a game where you're just walking around looking for something? Absolutely. Well, imagine your movement speed was one-third.

We're in the middle of shitstorms and infuriating in those games because of darkness. And so I'm just walking around looking around, where's a fucking light bulb? Let me just take one out of the ceiling. I don't need that one in the kitchen. It's in your ass. It's fine. Let me just end the light bulb. Hold on.

Was the kiss mandatory to progress? I don't think so. Okay. I didn't, like I waited for a little bit, and then I was like whatever, okay, let's advance the thing. I got a trophy for it. So maybe it's optional and that's like an extra thing you can do there, but the next sequence after that, the reason you're looking for a light bulb is because there's another

time skip of like a few months and you're making this big glowing light bulb sign that says marry me. Oh. Or it says, will you marry me or something like that. Okay. And all you need is that one light bulb. It's a series circuit and one of the light bulbs went out so you need to get another light bulb.

I'm trying to find that light bulb. That's savvy as fuck. It is really badly written, the romance. It's awful. This was a Kickstarter game. Just launch VR game. Yeah. I think it was made, it was made in America, but it seems like the leads are Italian and

it definitely feels like the people who wrote it do not have English as their native language. There's some roughness to the way people speak. There's typos in the subtitles and there's some like, some of that foreign, you know, I just don't really give a shit in some of the writing where like you're looking around at objects in this one puzzle sequence and like the liquids you have to choose from are like milk, honey, can of coke and it's like that is a generic cola can and you just called it coke. No, you can't do that.

You know, you can't do that. No, they did it. You know, Sony's testing didn't go this far clearly, but you called it, yeah. Anyway. No, they did it. Yeah. I don't know what it is. You can't stop it.

They don't give a fuck. They have different laws and cultures. They don't have to. They could have just called it cola. I wouldn't have noticed. That's super weird. Yeah. Anyway, that's not really.

Maybe they're from one of those backwards parts of the world. Does it call all sodas coke? Italy. Yeah, you heard me. They didn't call it Brio. So I don't fucking know. Christ. Wow.

My girlfriend does that. Fuck it. She drives me nuts. I'm going to keep playing that because I'm near the end. I'm at the midway through the fourth of six sections kind of the fuck. You know what? I'm going to go back on that. I'm not done talking about this game.

The third section of the game was this hyperflacid training sequence where you're doing all these VR training things to prepare you for the second part of the game seems to be flying a spaceship into space for 22 years or something, right? Flying spaceship sounds like a good time. It seems like that's going to be what the next game is about, right? So they have these VR tests to make sure you're ready. And they're the most flaccid, like, let's do this in VR things. So the first one has you standing in a spot with two laser guns that practically go pew,

pew, pew, and you're just shooting these asteroids in what is the easiest shooting gallery I've ever played. The second one has you commanding an extremely slow spaceship through a Superman 64 like ring obstacle course. This sounds great. And the third one, I don't remember, but I don't think it matters. And at the end of it, your dad, the computer AI, is like, you're the only one who could ever do these.

So you're the only one who will be. And what do you mean I'm the only one who could ever do these? That makes it seem like the rest of humanity is a bunch of dum-dums. Are all the other candidates like kindergarten level inept? They were so easy. So there's a bit of a dissonance there. But hey, I would have preferred if they were tough and you had to actually grind it out or something.

There's going to be a real weird disconnect in VR because VR actions can only be so complex because of the control methods available. So they're always going to kind of look weak and shitty. And some guys are like, I can't believe you slayed the dragon. He was so tough. It's like I threw a rock at him. Yeah, no, definitely. And this is our first little taste of that.

This is the worst one I've seen so far where the narrative is telling you you did something impressive. And I know I really didn't because I did the like they didn't abridge it. You know, if there was a time skip there and it would have said, hey, your character did all this training or something, or like in fucking Batman where you throw the Batarang and they abridge a fight and you hear punch noises at least out and abridging the fight is better than having a flaccid fight that I don't feel like I did anything special. Oh yeah.

I can imagine like a really terrible VR Batman. So yeah, I'm excited to continue loading human. And I'm looking forward to the second chapter whenever they announce a release date for that. Okay. Sorry to ask you to hold that thought again. Yeah, absolutely. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, the crackling is being a little bit weird. So we want to absolutely address this and make sure that it actually sounds good. Do you know what the problem was? Well, I'm still trying to fix it now. We're still actually going out live. So I'm going to definitely fix this part down on the slurs, but I'm going to go get another that's that's totally fine.

Yeah. Apologies, guys. Yeah, but let's try to solve this audio problem. Absolutely because it has to be listenable. Just cut all this shit out. So let's the audio people at the audio podcast actually get a way better podcast. Well, I mean, oh boy, this is your it's the recording process that we're actually filming.

Is it not see proper proper studios or whatever would have like a tech guy that have like a Drew Scanlon or a Vinnie Caravella, right? That would be that would be a guy. Yeah, we're all we're all proper amateurs and are bumbling our asses through this crap. Are really? Yeah, we are. We are. We're amateurs.

No, I'm saying I think everyone knows that at this point. No, but I mean, I mean amateur in a very like specific way. I mean, amateur in strictly like non professional, none of us actually went and learned how to do any of this. Well, I looked up how to do. Yeah. No, that's the story of every single technical problem as we hit the point where it becomes necessary.

I do some self teaching to try and figure it out. But that's kind of where it every, every, every time you've noticed a jump in audio quality and anything that I personally edited, it's been a point of like, why does this part sound like shit? Oh, because of that. I'll fix that specific thing happened and and you know, you just build that up over time until eventually you're like, I've done all I can do. I need a new microphone.

Yes. So right now it's it's a it's rather interesting and this is being I like how we're being like straight up Frank here because it's like the recording is going fine and sounds okay. The backup recording is going fine and sounds okay. It's just the actual live feed, which makes me think, okay, something's going on with our, our exploit. So I've got a feature. I've got to debug it.

It's a feature. And then while we hot debug, this is great live on the air. This is great because we had a situation today in which we have an hour of extra podcast. So Willie comes as a, you know, we don't actually have to do that long of a podcast. We do like two hours and people still get their big three hour chunk. But because of the magic of technology, we end up getting a 10 hour podcast. Yeah. So that's what you deserve.

Yeah. So I mean, you know, and you know, it's the kind of thing that I feel like, um, as there were, to some degree, like we're always with our ineptitude going to be dealing with some form of technical, well, the other thing that I discovered when Liam and I were troubleshooting that stuff, and me and you, me and him were talking, and it was somewhat griping term. It's like no one here knows how to do everything that we need to, right? Everyone knows 50 to 75% of the tasks that we do here, but no one actually knows how to do all of them.

So there's always some overlap of you're trying to fix something, but it's being caused by a thing that somebody else did that you don't understand. It's frustrating. That's that. Yeah. So just wipe the computer. So just, just do a fresh windows and all. And uh, and that's all, that's all you can get that fucking Ultraman piece of shit off

my computer. And that is that. I know. I had to explain what that was. Yeah. Because when I saw it, I was like, what is this fucking ghetto discount Pokemon app in my task bar is necessary. All right.

It helps me like when we have one screen, one screen going, then the other one's going and like you need to be able to move between one and the other. Did I just fix it? This is the worst. I fixed it. I fixed it. What did you do? Tell us what it was.

Because or else we're going to be stuck at 70% of knowledge. So what the stupid shit was, basically the microphone going in to rather what, what was it was call was, was using as our input microphone was that was, um, not specifically this microphone set input, but the whole systems input. Oh, that's stupid. Including the speakers, including speakers, including and everything, the, the mic that's on the top. Exactly.

That's dumb. So that's. Yeah. Yeah. That explains a lot. And with that. Because you don't run into that with audacity on that laptop because when you plug in something into the speaker, the, the internal mic turns off and defaults to this stuff.

Yeah. So why the fuck would Twitch do that? Technology stupid. It's not, it's not Twitch. It's, it's, it's, it's X split and it's the way it was, it was just set to like read and, um, default speak default, um, microphone instead of specifically real tech audio microphone, which is what I want to thank Mike zero dude and moth man and many other people for being so quick to scream at our assholes.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Just pulling the cheeks apart and screaming. Yes. And, and believe me guys, like when things like that are happening, I, I, I do see it, but it's, it's like, how do I do this in a way that's not going to ruin the, well, we've already run the podcast, but it's fine. Yeah.

Great. The magic of editing fixes nothing. Nothing. Oh guys, welcome. This is the process. Right. It'll take a little bit. This is the recording process.

All right. Yeah. Organically. Move right back. Organic. Organic. What were we even talking about? Liam was talking about.

VR loading human. And he was like, I just finished griping about loading human and about how I can't wait to continue playing it because as fucking jacked as it is, I like the jackedness of it kind of. I'm kind of enjoying. I get it. So speaking of games that are kind of jacked and fucked, I was playing criminal girls too this week, uh, sequel to mediocre RPG criminal girls, mediocre or subpar mediocre.

Okay. How is the sequel? Why did you platinum a mediocre game? Because I was having fun with the nifty battle system. Okay. It's the battle system. You have four characters and you don't tell them what to do. Okay.

They kind of don't give a shit about you. You just suggest. Well, they offer what they think is the best idea. Yeah. And you're, and then you say, okay, you had the right idea this turn. Okay. Do that. Okay.

And it's easy to just kind of plow through it's, it's, it's, it's enjoyable. The second game is made by a different developer. The first one was by a image epoch, famously pronounced as image pooch by many, uh, I always said image epoch. Yeah, I also said that maybe that's a, yeah, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, they, they shut down anyway.

So Nipponichi software developed this one and it feels like the most wrote expansion pack game ever, uh, retreads everything from the themes to the gameplay, the, the single meaningful improvement to the game is that when you unlock a skill, you can choose to unlock a, a different variant of that skill and you can flip flap them whenever you want. Basically. Okay. So all of your skills have a second version. Um, and that meaningful, uh, well, cause you can change your characters builds by swapping

all their skills. Okay. Right. So say you can have one that does fire or one that does ice. All right. And there's lots by the end. I think you're, you're probably going to be juggling 32 skills, including passives and per character.

Okay. Per character. And there's seven characters. And, uh, the skills have two, uh, effectively grooves, uh, one on each side. And if you use more skills on one side, they'll be on that groove. And so it adjusts how you have to treat them in combat a little bit. That's the only full meaning, only meaningful change. And it sounds like a really big thing and it does kind of matter, but it doesn't matter

as much as you would hope, especially with like, uh, the setting mostly reused, the concept mostly reused. Uh, I've read, I, I did not finish it at all. I finished the first two chapters and I've read that the story doesn't go anywhere, which and that's wonderful. I read some people saying the story is worse than the first. So it's a very typical Niponichi game then. Yeah.

And, and, and the story of the first was nothing really special. It was fun for what it was. It was all character arcs, you know, did you, did you get, did you look up spoilers a day stirred? I didn't look up spoilers just before cause I, I have dropped it at this point. I might come back to it in the future, but I'm, I'm done playing it right now. Uh, there are these absurd difficulty spikes at almost every turn. Um, and they're not enjoyable cause you get to them and you're just like, oh, what's

the answer here? I don't know. Let me look up on game facts. Does anyone have any advice? Oh, the answer is grind. The answer is just grind. And it's like, no, oh, I finished a battle. I got a hundred experience.

How much do I need to level up? Well, that's going to take 40 battles and I'm going to need to level up twice. So it's going to take a hundred battles of just crying. You know, anyway, so, uh, I, I bumped down the difficulty to casual cause I said, I'm not, I'm not doing that and I still wasn't, I still wasn't really, it doesn't feel like a meaningful improvement. And I, I would say, I would say either skip this one and play the first or just play this one.

If you even need to play one of these games, which you shouldn't, I was going to say, can you just go on about your married life? Well, like I, like I said, like I said, when the first one came out. If you're asking me for a recommendation on which Neptunia game you should play, don't play one of the two criminal girls games cause they're better. Right. If you even need to play one of these games. But they're not about game consoles, Liam.

No. So that got really tired for me anyway. Really? Yeah. Huh? There's, there's over 10 games in Neptunia. It's fucking nuts. So I dropped that friendship over with criminal girls too.

Now Exist Archive is my best friend. Okay. So I'm playing Exist Archive, which is by Triacee, who of course formerly made Star Station 5, once upon a time, Valkyrie Profile, and they did Lightning Returns more recently. This is basically a Valkyrie Profile game. It's published by Spike Chunsoft, so they don't actually have Valkyrie Profile. But it's by the guys and it's the same ideas. You got your 2D platforming and then your combat.

Oh, yeah. Okay. That's, that's that. Combat where you control four characters with each of the face buttons and there's juggling and... What's up with Triacee and their incredibly inconsistent output? I don't know. What's the deal?

I don't know. I couldn't tell you honestly. I don't know if I liked Triacee or not. It was great. I don't know if I liked them or not. Lightning Returns was good except for the Lightning Bit and the Returns. And the Returns Bit and the ending cutscene and all the theming really. And the performance and all the everything except.

The gameplay. Except for the gameplay. The gameplay and Chocolina. The gameplay was fine from what I saw. But it was like weighed down by everything around it. Yeah. And it doesn't run as good as it should. It keeps running!

Yeah. I digress. You know, I think Indivisible might be more well known than Valkyrie Profile at this point in time. That's weird. So it's that same kind of thing. You have four characters. You control them with each of the face buttons.

There's juggles. There's combos. Like it's, it's all in there. It has a really strong start. It opens up incredibly strongly and I'm really impressed. It's on PS4 and Vita and I haven't had any performance issues yet on the Vita. Though I've seen a lot of people attributing bad performance to Hit Stop. Yeah, that's not the same thing.

There's a lot of Hit Stop because you have four characters attacking all at the same time. Yeah. The only performance hitches I've seen so far. I'm still only three hours into the game is like when you'll, when you'll finish a battle and the character, the camera will like pan around your four party members. Well that happens. But it's, it's been fine so far.

I've been really enjoying it but again I'm still quite early so I'm keen to see where that goes. I'm doing, I want to do my weekly talk about, I played through Area X again. Oh man. God damn it. I'm not going to talk about it but Area X is, it's probably the closest thing to, well we got to get back to Willie's weekend. It's probably the closest thing to a, a religious experience.

I don't know. I'm sure Willie's had a lot more religious experiences in the past than I have so he'll be able to answer that when he plays it but I really enjoyed Area X so. Twist the knife deeper. That's fun. Dude. I just want to make sure he doesn't forget. Dude.

Okay. All right. So. We're going to jump back to Willie's week for two seconds. For two seconds? Okay. Sure. So I bought a PSVR on Amazon and was like, nah fuck that, that's too slow.

And then I went to Best Buy and bought one. And then I was like, hey Willie, I've got a PSVR coming in from Amazon. You want it? And you were like. Yeah. And then I brought it to him. You mean a res machine? A res machine.

Straight to my door. And then I gave him the PSVR. And then I took it and I went, yeah, and then I plugged it in and I went, yeah. And I put it on and I fucking put it on my head and I saw red pixels dancing, laughing at me, mocking me, all over the PlayStation main menu and the height of every game. And then I was like, no. And then I put the headphones on and then I heard nothing but crackling, nothing but static and crackling as far as the eye can see.

Yeah. Horrible, horrible crackling. So straight up. Unforgivable crackling all over my ears. So it was like watching one of our streams. It was like watching one of our streams. Thank you. And I fucking got on the phone.

It was so nice. And I was like, can you do something about this, please? And they were like, no. And they were like, maybe, but we don't really know. This is too new. And then I looked online on the Sony community forums for help and no one else had an issue similar to this because it's too new. So every problem that people had was mainly just the headset not working period.

Not this like. In between. In between. Exactly. And the whole thing, it was just a fucking bust and I spent that entire night just going through every permutation of like, maybe it was this wire. Maybe it was that wire. It sounds like an internal electronics failure.

So it's currently sitting in the box in the other room. I got to go take it home and send it back to Amazon. Maybe we could exchange it. Oh, no, they were they were out of stock at the time. And it's like, OK, well, if you go for a Sony exchange, it's going to take up to three to four weeks. So I'm like, well, it's too new. So I'm just back to like fucking nothing.

I'll try my best shot walking into a store around town. And in the meantime, I'm just going to play salt overwatch because fuck. Best salt wall. Best buy has a core unit just sitting there. It's just been sitting on the shelves and I guess I'll just have to go get that core unit. Thankfully, Matt was nice and said he didn't really care too much about his VR world's disk.

And he has an extra move controller. Throw that stuff. There you go. We can make it work. Yeah. Poor Willie. It sucks, though, getting a bum unit or anything. So I'm thinking every time me and Willie have been linked in any way of buying hardware

products, something goes wrong, one of them is broken. And up until this experience, it's always been my unit. And in this case, it was still my unit. But I just pawned the curse off to you. It's who opens the seal. Do you remember when we bought rock band and I almost burst into tears when I fucking like we went all the way to Platsburg, bought rock band and we pulled it out and like my guitar didn't work?

I do remember. Like I do remember. Fuck. Like I do remember that, like again, and I can't, I don't know what, there's been so many. I can't even recall. There were more. I don't remember what they were, but there were more.

But it's like we can pick up a box and whoever peels that sticker back to open it, that's when the curse sets in. I don't know what the fuck. So this time Pat traded them around. Yes. Because he knows the game now. It was like final destination. He tried to confuse destiny and it didn't work.

It's like it follows. So it's going to come back in force. Yeah. Mine's broken right now, I guess. Yeah. But yes, back to Liam. I got back to Tokyo Mirage Sessions, a sharp F.E. I re-completed that five hours of content that I irresponsibly lost and I've been saving

a lot more often because that was miserable and I don't want to do it again. I would not call that irresponsible. But now that I'm a little further in, the combat system is so goddamn fun. It's way more fun than the press turn system and stuff where like press turn system is built around like do a weakness. Okay. Now you get another move, right? Well, SMG4 series added smirks and that adds more as well.

Tokyo Mirage Sessions is all about this thing called sessions, right? So basically you hit an enemy with either their elemental or weapon triangle weakness because it has the fire emblem weapon triangle as well. And then if one of your allies has an appropriate session skill equipped, so say you hit an enemy weak to Bufu with a Bufu spell and you have a character with Bufu lunge, then they will react to that Bufu being super effective and do a lunge with their spear for free. And then if you have a character whose session skill is spear sword, then they'll get in there with their sword and basically you...

The whole thing is to set up your characters in such a way that if you happen upon a weakness of some kind, your entire party will just chain fuck them to death. You set up these long chains of sessions basically and this session system is really enjoyable. It's much more fun than the press turn system, much more active than that. I think it's really good. I'm excited to keep playing this game because it's just bleeding quality. Because your... Can enemies also use this system?

Yes. Okay. Of course. My favorite thing about the press turn system is that bosses figure out your weakness and just Minotaur gave himself 10 turns. Just like those games, there's situations where you'll be like, okay, the enemies all have spears. Let me guard with my sword guy because I don't want to take that.

So I don't know what video it was in that we recently discussed it, but the press turn system... It's a Mega Man, I think. Yeah. In the end, despite the fact that you could do it and the bosses could do it, usually the human player in a game can abuse a system like that. It's hard. And in this game, you can, but it's still not worth it.

I still think it's... I think it's not worth it. The fact that the boss does this to you hurts way too much than you being able to do it to them. Fuck it. I completely... Can't handle the risk. No, it was too hard.

It was too hard. I got through it, but goddamn it, no. I don't want that. Yeah. No, I hear you. This game's a lot more lenient than that. It's definitely not quite as hard as any of the mainline SMT games or anything, but it fits right in with those ones.

It's super enjoyable. The last two things, there is an anime running called Flip Flappers. It's my favorite one this season. It's your big favorite? It's so fucking good. When Madoka came out, it kind of killed the magical girl genre, because everyone kind of tried to do dark magical girl stuff, and it was like, all right, okay, but Madoka already just actually killed it just there.

And Flip Flappers is a new magical girl show that is fucking doing it, and it's really good, and I highly recommend it. Super whimsical show. What does it call Flip Flappers? Please tell me. That's the organization they work for is Flip Flapp, and they're the Flip Flappers. That's fucking dumb, but I can dig it. Have you spoken about, or is there any word from you, because the word on the street is

that there's this new isekai anime that's pretty dope? Isekai? Isekai? Is that how you say it? Okay. Which one? God, it's a one word thing, and it's like, it's different. It's like guy trapped in a thing, but it's not the usual thing.

You're selling it. I'm sorry. It's not re-zero? No, it's current season. Is there anything current season that you use? There's one every season. I don't know. Yeah, sorry.

Okay. No, that's fine. I just was expecting, because like, you know, like Mike, Drifters, Drifters. Drifters, I haven't watched it. Thank you. Okay. Everyone's saying Drifters. It is a thing, but I haven't watched it yet.

The only other thing is I want to shell a Kickstarter real quick for a game called Rogue Raiders Online. I saw that you backed that last night. This morning, I think. It only went up this morning, I think. It was technically this morning, but I saw it last night. Yeah, maybe so. It is a fantasy star online style game made by a one woman team in, I think she's from

Spain. She used to work at like a licensed game company called Virtual Toys. They made like Bloodbath and Justice League Legacy Heroes or whatever. One of your favorites, yeah, exactly. So they, you know, they were competent developers and stuff, and she's making this fantasy star online style game all on her own. I was in that step studio doing QA. Yeah, doing work, putting the work in, yeah.

So she's doing that. It's since it's just her, she's like leaning on assets that she's purchased and stuff for environments and such right now. And so like she does say in the Kickstarter, one of the goals is to hire an artist so they can, you know, replace everything proper and have it done. But like the game does look solid. She is very clearly like super competent at what she does, seeing as she managed to do this alone.

And it already looks quite impressive. The trailer, I just like straight up, trailer's awful. Trailer for the game is poorly edited. She is not good at editing. Don't expect that. Okay. I'll throw this out there because I think it looks really fun. I think it looks really good.

So yeah. Okay. That's it. All right. One of the, actually, you know what? There's one thing I'll mention about it. When you go on a mission that I really dug the system, when you go on a mission with you and your buddies, sometimes a person will be assigned a rogue mission that no one else

will know that involves fucking up your buddies at the critical moment. Okay. You know, so like it's like Secret Hitler. Yeah. Kind of. And I think that's really fun. Anyway, so I'll check it out. I think it's pretty neat, but Kickstarter page is a little lacking in like solid details.

Oh yeah. Yeah. So like the, what the, the fucking new butts anime, yeah, the butts. Keijo. Keijo. Keijo. Yeah. But the butts.

Have you watched it? No. Should I? Um. Is it worth going down this path just to find out? So I don't live in your mom's house anymore. So no one can. I've been.

No one can say anything. And this is one of those like cliched lines that the manga is so much better. And initially I brushed that off as like, well, I don't like. I can imagine a few reasons. You say that for everything, right? But actually the anime skips like 35 chapters into it and cuts a lot apparently. This was of course a discussion covered in the fall weebcast, which just went up the other day.

Yes. You can check that out if you want to hear about all the anime is a lot featuring. Some mothers mother mothers. I can't move out of my basement. Jeff through Nate, the best guy, whatever his last name is, Brennan. I have two children, Williams and myself mother fucker. That mother fucker took my bit. He's wearing the glasses now.

I debuted on NXT. But he did it first. He's wearing. He might as well have reset the clock. He might as well have. Exactly. You lost that. Mine is he showed up.

He debuted on NXT. He's wearing them. He looks better than I ever fucking did. There are only focus on your own pottery right now. There is this moment. Try not to try not to look there is a real with his two babies in his head. There was a moment when Willie started this bit up. God, because it was right after Liam said Brennan two children, Williams and Willie

goes, he stole my bit and my brain goes to is your bit getting people pregnant? No, no, he stole the bit. That's my bit. But he stole the bit in the same way that Johnny Cash stole the bits of those various songs like hurt and your own personal or how Lewis CK stole everything about my life where it's like, guess what? That's not your girl anymore. He took it.

It's done. Enjoy. You thought. Yeah. But now it's over. You have a trend. Now it's his trend was better. Willie strikes again.

And there's no. He better Willie can't steal. And he's got the red ones. There's so much nicer. Better Willie resets the timeline so that it was always him in the first place. Yeah, mother fucker. Poor Willie. I love you.

God damn it. He's great. But K Joe, though, laser focus. Sorry, it's OK. It's OK. It's OK. I went into it having only seen the anime and I got to tell you the combats really interesting.

Is it Jojo? Is it just Jojo with because you have never seen combat that is 100% focused around butts and breasts and dead serious. You have never seen combat like this. The combat is interesting. There's not much going on outside of that. But the combat is very OK. What I need to know, there's one little detail.

Is there someone that's watching this that represents the viewer that's having nosebleeds everywhere? No. Or is it just the main character battle between the main character is the girl, the girl with the blue hair, dark hair. OK, she wants money and K Joe pays good because it's a popular sport, so she's doing that. There is no boy, none of that shit.

Is K Joe a real sport? Unconfirmed. All right. But it pays good money and she's in it for the cash. As of the next major con, it will be. OK, fair enough. So how about that? That's OK.

It's not bad. OK. OK. So, you know. Pat? All right, so I did three things of interest this week. Very recently, I watched my girlfriend on stream beat Asagaw Academy, and I only have a few words for that.

That game is terrible. That game is bad. I feel it is kind of like shitty vindicated. It is god awful. Do you want to explain why or should you just leave that alone? I talked to Pat about it before. I just like the second I saw that game, I was like, that's going to be awful. And also, I don't want to play a game with YouTubers.

And it's it's fucking trash. And like, I thought she's going to put her fist through her laptop. Like, hoping we'll be in it. Yeah, I would have turned it down. Oh, no, I would have. I would have been in it. And everyone looks so handsome. Hey, if I'm going to be added to this game, Shane and yeah,

but you don't get to hotter in your life, but you don't get to do anything to them. Like, they straight up avoid any like even kissing or whatever. Like, it's a fucking fade to black bullshit. Oh, yeah, like no payoff at all. OK, so how far did you guys go? She beat it. OK, one one ending, right? Yeah, one thing.

So just fucking train wreck. Just awful in better news. I bought Civ six and Battlefield one, which I still think Battlefield one is the best title of anything ever. Those games are fucking great. Civ is I never was able to get into Civ because of my TV like UI problem. And that problem persists because I don't know what they have

against people with fucking ice. I don't know. The UI is tiny, but my TV is big enough now that it doesn't matter. So there's no real option for a TV UI. You can when you upscale it to four when you when you can't get up the resolution to 4K, you do have an ability to like auto scale the UI, but it just auto scales the UI to what it would be at 1080, which is still really small. It's like a percent adequate.

Can't you you can just go into the the the fucking XML file and the games like documents folder and just change every single value in there. And the games engine scales them. So why why can't there just be an option for 25 percent larger UI? I mean, it's an oversight rather than a feature. Yeah, but it's been an oversight for like three games in a row. It's a come on. Aside from that, games fucking great. I was going to say, I saw review threads coming up, popping up and fucking great.

People saying good things. It's got some goofiness. Like the AI doesn't always do the smartest thing. They will declare war on a clearly superior, clearly superior military nation. And then immediately start to coward the fuck out when you're burning their shit down. Is that a general thing or just on the difficulty you're playing on? I played on Prince, but I also check out the the civ six. What's the equivalent difficulty that Prince is normal? OK.

And it seems to the the AI seems a little flaky with the deals that it makes and the decisions that it makes for war. The game that I'm playing now, the primary play session in civ is just you hit play now and it sets you to normal difficulty and gives you completely random everything. Yeah, I'm playing as Japan and the Arabic Empire and the Chinese Empire, a bunch of fucking dicks and I can't fucking stand them at all because the Arabic people got all fucking salad ends, the leader of the the Arabic Empire.

You got all pissing shit because I settled slightly too close to his house and that's fine. So then I settled my next city farther away than the one I just settled war. Well, well, shouldn't have looked so I kick his asshole in and then the Chinese are like, wow, you're starting a lot of wars and we're friends with we're friends with the rabies with Saladin. Why'd you do that war? You're the seed of evil. What about taxes, though? OK, what about taxes? I used to like the one time I sat in play, said there was a huge that's a four.

OK, yeah, couldn't couldn't do anything. Yeah, that's that. Couldn't get the game started. That's been simplified. That's been simplified into just money. OK, like you you will earn less money if you whatever. And now it's it's based around like the big civ six thing is that instead of if you played for ever, you remember that you just build into this one tile super mega structure, which is your city, like your monument, your theater, your fucking factory, all that shit is just in that one tiny cube.

And everything around it is here's a farm, here's a mine or whatever. They've changed it so that now you'll take up a whole tile in order to build a barracks or a theater or what have you. And as such, they've made those things way more popular, but you have to plan them out better. So, for example, if you're playing as the Americans, the Americans have this huge boost to national parks. But for national parks, can you just close that door for national parks to exist?

You need like four more tiles of uninterrupted forest and you need that eight thousand years into your game. You need to keep that. So if you're playing as the Americans, you get out of a situation like, oh, shit, I pillaged the fuck out of the natural resources of this continent. I don't have shit all for that. So plan ahead. I'm playing as Japan right now.

They're a lot of fun. The samurai unit is completely fucking broken. They they always attack full strength, even if they're at one HP. That's strong. That's a really big advantage. Yeah, because you can you can and they're quite strong melee units as well. OK, so you can just beat on a city wall for a while, back them off and then heal them up.

China and Arabia are dead. They're dead now. Good job. I just I remember seeing, I don't know which save game it was, mostly the last one I'm dealing with Peter from Russia. It's fucking asshole. But someone had a really elaborate game that he had going where Canada takes over the world. Unfortunately, Canada is not playable in civ six.

It's not playable in any civ, to my knowledge, because we're technically folded underneath the British Empire, which makes sense. I guess everything under the Commonwealth. Yeah, fair enough. Well, one of the cool new things I'm having trouble wrapping my head around is religious combat. So religion was was put in in civ four

and it got a little bit of some modifications in civ five. And now it's back in civ six. But instead of just like passively spreading religion, like it's a culture victory or something like that, you're now creating missionaries and apostles and you're actively going. Oh, you're going out and spreading it. You're sending them to like, I'm going to send a missionary

for, say, Judaism or Confucianism to this other city. And I'm going to infect his city with my religion and sabotage their religion. And then you get bonuses for that. And you get you get access. You get more faith, which you can use to buy faith items. So they function kind of like spies in it. Well, more because unlike spies, when religious units of different religions meet,

they can have a theological showdown. And whoever wins that showdown gets a boost to their religion. And the other guy gets a loss to his religion. Like like like I proved myself. Yeah, absolutely. My Jesus, what's real? Yeah, yeah, no. But what is the visual of that?

I have not currently done it. But apparently it's like like lightning bolts coming out of the sky or some shit. Oh, God. And test of faith. In addition, if you have an apostle, you can start an Inquisition, which you can use to root out heresy. Of course. And once you start that process, you're able to use. I believe I haven't done it yet, but I believe you're able to use your military units to fight religious units.

And when they are punks, they get fucking murked so hard, you can kill like five of them in a turn, because they're such bitches. And when you do that within a certain distance of a whole of a of a religious city, their religion takes a hit. OK, because you're wiping out all their missionaries and their apostles. And there's an entire tech tree. And there's a Bible battles. There's there's fucking awesome.

There's an entire tech tree. You get a pantheon, then you get a religion, then you get your great profits, then you get your holy sites that spend this stuff. It's really, really interesting. Religious victory has replaced diplomatic victory in the vanilla versus. Right, right, right. Replaced. Yes, because apparently diplomatic victory was not working.

And they were like, OK, we'll put it in either a patch or an expansion. Constantine and Roman Catholicism historically was a religious victory. Yeah, the the the inquisitive, the Spanish inquisition and like, you know, taking over all those. So like Spain was a religious victory. So Spain makes sense. Spain, for example, gets huge bonuses to their inquisition. Their inquisitors are like basically free.

And Rome is terrifying in the religion game because they get free roads so they can just mass shoot missionaries at you for all sorts of bullshit all the time. Right. And the religious victory cap is 50 percent of the world or more follows your religion. And that sounds about right. And so you can be having this thing where like I'm running away with the space race or I've been dominating everybody, but militarily with with with

Samurai's and Musket Man and shit, but but me and Russia are pals. Right. Yeah. And we're just, you know, he's all the way at the other side. I don't care. And all of a sudden I'm like, Eastern Orthodoxy isn't every single one of my cities. Shit, fucking shit. Right. Now I have to go start a war. And when I if I fuck up his holy city, my citizens are going to freak out. Yeah, they're going to fucking get super pissed.

So now I got to start an inquisition and just burn them all. Read them all out. Yeah, it's it's not it's it's a lot of fun. You're describing basically like current Game of Thrones. It's like it's that shit. You cannot fix it. There's some there's some bugs. There's some oversights. There's some weird stuff with the tech tree.

There's an over emphasis on like boosting. Like if you do certain actions, you'll get huge boosts towards certain civics or technologies, which leads you to try and game the system in weird ways. We're like, I'll just build five farms, even though I don't need five farms so that I could get the boost to like animal husbandry or whatever. But I've been having a ton of fun with it. It's I couldn't crack the code on CIV for and I tried but couldn't crack it on five. But this one felt like it feels better.

Are you playing like the full blown like simulation? I play now. OK. OK. And it puts me on a random match kind of puts you on a random continents mat with a randomly seated continents map on the normal difficulty, which is Prince and the suggested difficulty for new people is like chieftain or something. What's your win loss? How's your PVP gone? My win loss right now has been draw draw on going because my first two games

I quit because I was like, I fucked up. I got to the Renaissance era, so not draw. And I was like, there's no, I screwed up. I don't know what I'm doing. Like I built a bunch of cities and realized I couldn't produce any units because they had no minds. And I was like, oh, now it's taking me 35 turns to make a single archer. And I'm watching fucking I'm watching Spain run away into the fucking

like modern era with with cannons and muskets and riflemen and shit. And I'm over here as what the fuck was I play? Russia or something? Puts it around with Spearman. And I'm like, I'm going to get fucking wrecked. I had if I had to take a guess, I would assume that like as the Civ games went on, the play now button would lead you to more and more simple, simplified like versions of the game.

No, it's the standard. It's the standard every time. OK, yeah. There's a there's a couple of changes that I see a lot of people don't like, but I think they're wrong. One, barbarians are crazy now. They're fucking nuts in that they're strong. They're strong and they're ever present.

Because barbarians used to be particularly weak. I mostly played the not that great Civ rev too. And they they were horrible. I am in the Enlightenment era in the 1600s and I have fucking barbarians with catapults and shit coming to my house. And it's a problem. It's a problem. It remains a problem.

And I couldn't like they're really aggressive, way more. And they're numerous way more than other Civ games. And I was struggling to figure it out why. And I realized that barbarians are kind of an equalizer to the way that the land is being dispersed now. OK. And the game, Civ 5's biggest problem was that if you didn't want to go to war, you could figure out a way to make all your neighbors happy.

And you never, ever had to build a standing army. Ever. The whole game. You could just run to culture. You could just run to science. And that's ridiculous. That's not how real society would ever work, especially one starting from the year of 6000 BC, right? Any nation all the way up until like now that had no standing army at all.

Forever. We could take it over in two seconds. Yeah, especially back in the day. So that's just to force you like, no, you are going to have an army. Yeah, you have to have an army. And it also equalizes it out. If you're really close to a bunch of other Civs and your land opportunities are not great, barbarians aren't your problem.

They're the other Civs's problem. But if you manage with a good seed and you have like an entire continent to yourself, barbarians are an ever present military threat. And like, I dig that. I get it. Because they used to just be like small obstacles that you can dispatch pretty fucking easy. They will spawn a camp anywhere that is currently not being looked at in line

of sight, even if you've already explored it. Is Sid Meier's name still in the box? Yeah, I don't know if he still works there, but his name is on there. The other thing that I absolutely adore is that every leader has now been a AI wise has been associated with two agendas, one that's public and one that's hidden. So you'll end up in a situation like Peter from Russia, Peter the Great. It's like he really, really likes cultures with high science and high culture

because he's a cultured guy and he loves science. And if you have none of that shit, you will not like you. But the hidden one is a problem because you'll go into the diplomatic screen and I saw Arabia minus 18 points for unknown reason, minus five points for unknown reason, minus 10 points for unknown reason. And I could not figure out why he was getting so fucking pissed. And eventually I will and I'll be able to deal with him. But everybody has hidden motivations.

So like there's there's leaders that like you having a lot of spies. There's leaders that China can't stand it. If you have more wonders than they do, you know, they go nuts. The recent political climate has taught us that everyone has a public policy and a private opinion that's separate from each other. And Gandhi intrusive to form is peace, loving and new, happy. Yeah, Gandhi. Gandhi loves in Civ.

He is the war war in Civ. Gandhi is what you do not pursue Gandhi. Gandhi is what you would expect Montezuma to be like. He is a war like dirt. No, I like Wally's lube equivalence. Better. OK, don't do it. Wow. Yeah, great game. As for Battlefield one, I thought that game was going to be meh.

That game's awesome. It's just awesome. Did you play the campaign? I did play a little bit of the campaign. It's fun. Good. They have completely abandoned any pretence of a real story and have just gone, hey, you know, it was a cool dope battle in World War One. That one, go be a dude and fight a World War One battle. I thought Battlefield four's campaign was a big and all it is. All it is.

Recreations of historical battles that there's an intro level in which you play like five different guys in the Harlem Hell Fighters. You all get fucking merked and you play on ground. You play with the gas mask. You play in a tank. You play, you know, but through everything. And then and then you have like, here's the here's the battle with Lawrence of Arabia. Here's the battle. Here's this big tank battle. Here's this big whatever. It's it's fun. OK.

The game I played multiplayer. The day the game came out for realsies because the, you know, the early access people didn't get kicked from a server. Didn't have any crazy, weird lag problems. It is it is a totally functional online shooter game. It is not the burning trash fire that Battlefield four was for. Months, I want to say. Talk to me about I think hard line also was pretty normal.

A horse control horse is basically a motorcycle. That's it. Just took the head left, right. And that's then you're drifting, but you're not drifting. Horse drifting. I mean, you'll turn. There's a shift. So the horse runs. I mean, that's what you're basic. Your basic thing is a rifle, which is really strong, but hard to hit with

because you're on a horse or a saber, which you can cut dudes. But more effective than that is just trample motherfuckers with the horse. That's much more effective. It kills, right? Oh, yeah, totally. But do you get to fight from the losing crazy side of that battle where you're up against motherfuckers? Well, there's there's there's a map, which is I think it's the Arabs versus the English or it's the there's two sides and one's clearly Arabic.

And they get the horse unit in that in that that fight. Yeah. And it's it's treated as if it were a motorcycle. OK, like there's the light tank, the heavy tank and horse. And there are motorcycles because because I remember like constantly hearing about and learning about the ridiculous like fucking dudes on horseback running into like machine machine fire. Oh, that's that's that's a Russian poem. That's a fucking charge of the library.

And it's just like, what are you doing? What are you doing? There was a very weird point. What else can we do? Yeah. In which, like a game of sieve, technology was disparate between two nations or two empires in which like, oh, man, there's there. So the worry about World War One's guns being a piece of shit. Don't worry, they they just bullshit it up.

The guns are fun to fire. Did you see the tiny gun? The tiny gun? I don't know. There's a tiny handgun. Oh, yeah, shoots tiny guy holds it like that and shoots tiny like little like like between your thumb and like it's smaller than the cricket gun and men in black. OK, I did not say it's just like hard line. There's so many goofy, like fun weapons and stuff. And France, the tiny handgun or whatever is fucking.

So is it super strong? It's it's a bit weaker than a regular handgun. OK, my understanding. But it's got goofy animations and apparently it's based on a real gun. So OK, yeah, they're all based on. All right. Well, tell that to the crocodile from Battlefield Hardline. Yeah, aside, aside from the fact that the maps are actually really good,

I like them a hell of a lot more than Battlefield force maps. I didn't play hard line. The maps seem really good and the weapons seem cool. The unlock system is really confusing. I don't get it at all. There's a couple of things that really stand out. They have added a couple of grenade types. One is a mustard gas grenade. Cool.

Yeah. Yeah. What does that the mustard look like in game when it goes off and gas? No, no, no. What does it look like when it hits people? They just drop. They just drop. Yeah. OK. So the mustard gas grenade may be the single best addition to Battlefield's multiplayer ever because that's probably I'm probably wrong, but I like it a lot because it's a grenade type that exists as area denial. So your smoke grenade actually blocks view like a real smoke grenade.

Right. Your frag grenade kills people. Yeah. And your gas grenade also kills people. The difference is is that every single character all the time always has the ability to put on their gas mask. Yeah. You hit T on your keyboard, they pull gas mask. Your view becomes slightly limited, but not significantly. OK. The difference is with your gas mask on, you can't aim down the site.

Oh, you don't want to keep your gas mask only aimed from the hip. And that completely changes the way fights work in Battlefield. That's a fun battle. Because you're using submachine guns and bull and single action rifles from the hip. So you get so when the gas masks, oh, sorry, when the gas mask come on, you fighting gets close. That's real close. Cool. That's mainly also just doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah. And it's awesome.

So you end up in situations in which there's the point. Somebody throws a gas grenade, somebody throws a smoke grenade and you put your mask on and you just wait in and you can't see shit. And then a God, then a musket, then a then a bayonet just comes through the your chest or what a bayonet. OK, that muskets are not actually that far off from this time period. They're a lot farther off from World War Two, though. OK, I'm sure there's a military at that time that was using it.

Is it is it? Is it actually available in the game? A musket is a crazy weapon. You could what the reason I got confused with muskets is a lot of guys with rifles, bayonets, and that makes me think of muskets. Every primary weapon has a bayonet on it unless you remove it, OK, which means every primary weapon has a fucking Gears of War style like charge stab that you can activate.

And that's cool to to to fucking just crack it down for a bit. That's originally the reason why I said the word. Yeah, because you got rifle with rifle with knife on the end. It was musket. So I just I didn't know that, like, you know, totally, but correctly bayonet. Yeah, yeah. So the gas mask renders you invincible to the gas. Yes, completely. Yes.

But like, no, that that makes a lot of sense. Then you can like set up barriers of gas. Yeah. So there's a lot of times it's like, OK, well, you'll throw a gas grenade into a choke point. And all of a sudden, the people trying to come through that point no longer have the ability to shoot people even 15 feet from the point. Yeah, at all. How how long just moan the fuck down. How long is this the gas?

Quite a while. It feels like a minute. It feels like forever. I don't know how long really. It feels like forever. Yeah, like, like, fuck it, we're going in now, like, change the flow of battle. It's like, well, we don't have that many guys or the guys aren't really good, like, positions to snipe us. So let's make it so that they can't do that anymore.

And smoke grenades actually are amazing in this game. Smoke grenades are usually bullshit in games. Yeah, they usually suck as you'd want them to be at all. The smoke grenade creates a field of smoke that I want to say is something like 25 by 25 feet. And within five feet of that, it's hard to see anything past that. Your screen is nothing but a brick of gray. It is absolutely impassable, invisible.

So shooting through that is is impossible. You'll never hit a total lock. Yeah. So those are huge improvements that I'm a huge fan of. The other thing is that the new type of mode they've created called operations. It's basically I heard that was really cool. It's really cool. It's not the revelation that a lot of people say it is. OK, but it's really cool.

And it's basically battlefield has classically in the past couple years had two kinds of maps. They've had the conquest, which is the big giant map that you run around. You grab flags and you you hang out by points. You have big, huge vehicle combat. And you had rush, which was about half the size and didn't have as much of a large scale because you were going for two points. You'd blow those two points up and then you'd move forward one stage.

There's basically a salt from UT 2K4. Now, operations, all it is, is conquest on the rush maps. And it's it's like rush, but the defenders can take the points back. So there's a much more dramatic like ebb and flow. OK, biggest problem with the game, especially for new people. And by new people, I don't mean new to battlefield. I mean, new to this game. Spawn killing is ridiculous.

The first couple hours you your average life expectancy is like eight seconds. It's nuts. How how easy you die. It's funny because like you talking about that reminds me of like the standard mode they brought into Titanfall 2, which was based on the the the bank system where every kill on an AI unit gives you a little bit of money. Every kill on a player gives you a bigger amount. And then Titans are like a huge chunk. Right. But then after you're holding that cash,

you have to run back to a deposit point like an ATM on the battlefield and deposit it. Otherwise, your team doesn't get that money. Yeah, that's like battlefield basically ripped that off for hard line. Like that's the primary. Is that what OK? Because because it's because bank robbers. Right. And then so what ends up happening is the best players on the opposite enemy team will camp the the ATMs and the moment you go to deposit,

they'll just fucking stop you and that's done. Like and to a degree like it kind of it's kind of this like nice little marriage of like theming and and and gameplay in that you get for a while. When you're playing Battlefield one, you get the feeling that your character's life doesn't matter and that you exist to get mowed down because you're like my first couple hours. I couldn't I like to get lucky to get a kill a game. And like, I know I'm not that bad.

It's just like your spawn. You're spawning on your squad and you happen to spawn on your squad standing up and you just caught a sniper bullet to the face within one second of spawning in. Yeah, you eventually get a better feel for it of how to move around and just basically hide behind shit constantly because then be a coward. Like a real battle. Right. Do not be running around big coward all time. Yeah, sprinting is is is fun because you have to get to that objective

and that objective is far away. But that that tiny bit of time between stopping your sprint and pulling up your gun means you're going to die. Yeah. Yeah, tons of fun. Operation is great. Spawn killing sucks. I don't understand the unlock system at all. I leveled up a assault class and I thought I unlocked weapons, but I didn't.

I think I have to buy them with war bonds. That's weird. I think they really want you to buy battle packs. Just buy boxes. I think they really want you to buy that or battlefield premium, which comes with 14 boxes every month, which is like, but the game is great. And that's pretty much what I did. I played a shit ton of Civ. I played a shit ton of battlefield one boxes are.

And I got super pissed off ever since Counter-Strike go. Everyone's rocking the box. Well, I mean, they pack. I think I think Team Fortress 2 is the one that like popularized it, but it was different. You got keys for boxes and you bought keys to open the boxes that you'd get dropped. Again, but then. But I think CS go was the one that perfected it with the buy boxes.

Yeah, that's tough. As long as you're not hitting what is a war for is doing, not even overwatch, Gears of War. Oh, I was going to say overwatch is the popular. I completely forgot. I also played a bunch of Gears of War co-op with a friend of mine. Did you finish the thing or no? No, no, we played about one and a half acts. That game's a lot of fun.

God, I wish they had not stayed in the same universe. Like you can feel them having cool ideas. Does it are you just sitting and waiting for the return of old characters? No, because you don't wait long for that to happen. But is the new cast on its own like interesting and worth your time? They're fine, but they're not stupid enough. And I don't. How do I? OK, let me let me.

You are early in the game, right? No, no, no, no, no, what? OK. You know how fucking dumb Marcus Phoenix is as a character as just this grumbly ass fucking video game man, military dude, right? Yeah. Somehow. By trying to make realistic, more charming, Nathan Drakey style or down her characters when you meet up with Marcus and he's that guy,

you're like, oh, thank God. I have my grumbly stupid idiot cast again. OK, like it's weird. Like, OK, I miss Coltrane so much. OK, I mean, I understand that. I just don't understand. I I if I'm going to go for a generic video game protagonist, I would rather have Marcus Phoenix being a grumbly,

like, cantankerous shit than another Nathan Drake ripoff. So is it? I was well, I was going to say, like, is it but like there's like Joel, like a pretty human character. Yeah, Joel's great. And then there's like fucking Leon. Yeah. And like, and are they playing off each other in the same universe here? Is that kind of what you're getting? It's J.D. Phoenix is just a blonder gears of war based, Nathan Drake.

OK. And and like, it's just so and also I appreciate wanting to go for a slow burn, but shooting robots for several hours in Gears of War is boring. Yeah, because it's a new, new antagonist. It's a new primary antagonist and a new primary like monster antagonist. And it's like the robots are boring, like they're boring looking to. And like there were some monsters that showed up and I was like, oh, monsters. And then it's like, oh, no, that's the teaser for the next act.

I guess we're going to have to finish off fighting the robot. That's a shame because that's just the design, then, you know, and the robots can be interesting to fight. Yeah, well, they're the other the other force in multiplayer as well. Because, you know, before it was the the humanoid Locust Locust, but it was they were humanoid, you know. So in this case, it's the the robots. I remember seeing a thing on the multiplayer.

OK. Yeah, I would try the multiplayer. That was the the the feel I got from from that big long article I talked about last week about you remember they had a guy and I think the Verge had a guy in at the studio for two weeks before ship or something like that and like the the the idea I got was like, wow, it sounds like they're like they have a lot of new stuff they want to do, but they have to kind of play it safe because they have to rebuild Gears of Wars from the ground up. Yeah. Yeah, OK.

And future proof it. Yeah, because they have to use this framework for whatever they do from here on. Gears five. Gears five judgment. I kind of say judgment was used. Yeah, good catch. So I still had a lot of fun with it and it's still a high quality campaign. I'm sure the multiplayer is quite good as well. And I've been hearing that it is,

but I kind of get how Halo Halo fans felt when Halo 4 came out. Yeah. And it's like it's different. You you you're being told it has to be the same. Yeah. But you want to try new things. And as a result, the new thing comes off kind of lame. Well, Microsoft is they've got to figure that shit out because they're the worst at like this studio is the that three, four, three, three industries, what do they make?

Three, they make Halo. This is this is it actually got me really bummed out when we're watching the loading screen and I see the coalition and I'm like, oh, my God, they're going to just make Gears of War games forever. Yeah, the coalition was making some sort of spy game. It's rumored and they were called on to do Gears. And now all money is on them being the Gears forever studio. Yeah, it's a bummer.

I forget their name, but there's the Forza studio. And yeah, those guys. Formerly at turn 10. Thank you. And formerly Lionhead was the fable studio, having not put out a non fable game since what black and white to or something. Yeah. So it's a bummer. Yeah, definitely. That being said, it's a lot of fun and co-op.

And I'm sure the horde mode is good because they put some of the horde levels into a single player, which I do not like everything I saw. It seems like the game's really quite good. Yeah, also looks awesome. Yeah, the visuals, it looks really like you're playing on PC. And I heard the PC ports also very PC port has. So and it's from the Game for Windows Live to store, right? So here here.

OK, so the game itself runs great. Has an astounding amount of PC options that still have a few nitpicks based on the Windows app platform that are I don't personally find a big deal. However, the Windows Store, while I had no problem with, because I have a stupid ass fiber connection, some people had really bad issues. A lot of people ended up having to try and download the game like five to 10 times and just running into it.

Is it like I remember Phil Spencer being out there and actually saying, we hear the stuff about how it's games for Windows Live to ha ha ha. No, it's not. Yes, it is. They really. Yes, it actually is. They really need to fix it. They really badly do. Because, you know, we see a lot of people balking at like, why are you even trying to compete with Steam?

Why even bother trying to compete with Steam? Like why? Origin does. Origin does it. You play. I bought Battlefield One on it and it's fine. I broke my fucking stupid boycott and I got over it. Multiple companies in terms of games as big as Microsoft have managed to do it. So Microsoft should be able to, for example. They're getting there. They're getting though.

But like they are getting there. But Microsoft is no one's giving Microsoft the benefit of the doubt because every time they try to go, we're doing this our own way. No, for sure. They fuck it up. Sorry. I'm just I'm just saying to the people who balk at it, it is possible. It's doable. Proved it is possible.

You own the OS. That you're not going to put faith in doing it properly. It seems like it really just feels like the Windows Store was not built for games because a lot of the problems seem to have to do with large download sizes and stuff. So I was reading a couple of guys talking on forum and some web developers or whatever. And they're like, I have the sneaking suspicion

that the Windows App Store and everything in it was designed to never allow for a download over one gig in size. There's something like that. Because it's treating them like apps and that that use case works perfectly 100 percent of the time. But Gears of War 4 is an 80 gig game. Big. I have unlimited bandwidth and a fast connection.

If I did not have unlimited bandwidth and a fast connection and the download failed two times halfway through, guess what? I can't download that game again this week or this month. Or what? It's ridiculous. No, it's totally ridiculous. Actually a problem. So I do hope they can fix that. I mean, what fucking like Blizzard has their own storefront, too.

Blizzard's storefront is fine. And their storefront is fine. All they tell is their own games. Bethesda is about to have a storefront. I'm sure it'll be just as stable as their games. I hope their storefront runs on Gamevrio as well. Every time you you click Add to Cart, the whole the whole U.I. All the icons are jitter and then drops down.

All each letter just falls. Yeah, it just falls one millimeter on your screen. I mean, would you rather would you rather like Little Mario? The fans will fix it with bots. I was going to say, would you rather Little Mario like crawling up to that first little question mark box? Actually, maybe sort of jump it.

I like that. I've given Nintendo, probably me, most of all, Nintendo some fucking shit for their garbage infrastructure. But you know what? I don't think they're as bad as the Microsoft Store. In absolute terms, they're actually way worse. But Microsoft makes fucking windows. What the fuck is their excuse for having a garbage store?

For Nintendo, like the issue is the account system. Yeah, it's like really the deep back end where it's like, there's no saving your shit. If you lose it, it's the root cause of that. That's the problem that I've never had an issue with downloading something or anything like that. I think I think it's been pretty good. But what excuse does Microsoft have on their own operating system?

You know, you know what the excuse is? It's the fucking the team who made the apps. What is it called exactly? Windows Store. The Windows Store was probably part of the same team who made Windows 8. And it's probably all holdovers from that team that was never designed for big games or Xbox titles or whatever. You know, I think it's a lot not to excuse it.

They should fucking rip it all out and fix it. But it's simpler than that, though, because I think the fact that like this is their fourth attempt, maybe third. Well, those game for Windows is this. Was there was there another thing before or after? I just I don't I believe there was. Like this is not the first time. Yeah, you know, like the Wii eShop was Nintendo's first crack at that type of thing.

Was it? Yeah, like there was other esoteric stuff. But a bunch of web pages, basically. Web based sales of a digital product. Yeah, that was their first you know what I mean? So like I feel like like the fact that it's Microsoft's like X attempt and it's still creating problems and it's still not working as it should. And there's existing services that are doing it. Fine. Well, I that's where it's like, what the fuck are you doing?

That's where the indignation comes from. What I would say rather than rather than Pat and a lot of people's assertion of these are the guys who make Windows. Why is there a problem? I would say these are the guys who make the Xbox Live Store. Why is there a problem? Yeah, yeah, they own a store that does exactly what it needs, what this needs to be doing. And it does it fine.

You have the people within your company on the payroll that know how to make that. So I honestly think part of it is like the people who made this store were not were not those people. They were on the Windows team or whatever. And they were tasked with making sure all these apps work on, you know, your Surface Pro and your Windows phone and shit like that. And it was never designed for this kind of thing. Yeah, Phil comes in and goes now it's going to do games

and everyone in the team goes, oh, shit. I was just saying while you're out, you know, these guys own Xbox Live. Forget Windows. They have a service that does exactly the same. First one that did it good. Yeah. And I don't know. I don't know if it's possible. I don't know if it's feasible.

I don't even know if they work out of the same building, but they should get the Xbox Live guys to fucking help these guys out. They're all part of the tribe, bro. Yeah. Well, I was going to say, just call them in. They have it working right now. Yeah, they were same company. I mean, don't get me wrong. They're probably they're they are completely different pieces of software. And, you know, their code's not going to be interchangeable.

But fucking get those guys in there and fix it. Because we got to roll into the news because we have a big item of news. There's a big item of news that we can't avoid it. All right, we talk about that last or first? First, I want to talk about right away in the room. OK, it's why would you switch it to the last section? Oh, oh, what? Docket, why would you switch it to when quite frankly,

it makes the most sense to acknowledge it? Bright and early, bright and early at the beginning. So I don't know about you. So I'm like, hey, you know what? Play your game. Take your dog on a walk at the park. That makes sense. I want that. No, your dog. I want that. Don't pay attention to your dog.

No, he's eating. He's eating this poop and you're good. He's eating syringes right now. That's fine. Meanwhile, you're playing. Meanwhile, you're playing the 10 dogs, right? And you're sitting there having a having a blast, right? Meanwhile, you're at home playing an unreleased Mario game and your fucking friends on the roof are like, come over.

Now, wait, now, that's where we go. Now, stop, because it's like cut to playing basketball. And then you're like, man, that was a great game of basketball. I'll smoke in NBA, though. Oh, let's fucking set up here. What are we talking about? We should probably say that. Let's let's rip some fat vapes as we play NBA 2K 18.

Yeah, whatever, whatever. And then, God damn it, Sarah. We invited you to come talk and socialize at our rooftop party. And you brought your stupid video games again. No, my interpretation was a totally different thing. What? I'm playing an unreleased Mario game and my pain in the ass friends want me to come over. Like, fuck, I'm going to break in the air.

Here you go, guys. Here's the you can play, too. Yeah. Hey, what are we talking about? And Splatoon Esports all of a sudden. Nintendo, you bet. Oh, that's not. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Splatoon. Splatoon, we'll talk about that. So the funniest part about that Splatoon thing

where it's like they're all on stage and they're like the crowds going nuts and I'm looking at it and I'm like, I know you're going for a magical eSports moment, but this looks like shit compared to Evo. Yeah, you got it. Evo killed it. Yeah, I know. My thing's better than your thing. So the Nintendo Switch.

Yeah, last week, Nintendo announced one evening that the next day they would be showing off a three minute trailer for the Nintendo Switch, which are for the NX at the time. And then the next morning, there was a three minute trailer, which I remember seeing the announcement to be like three minutes. That's going to be nothing. No, it's actually planning.

Well, you look at the original, like the Wii U announcement video, and it's also like two and a half and change. And there's a lot of seconds in two and a half and change. So what is they wasted them that time? What is the Nintendo Switch, guys? The Nintendo Switch is the NX proper. Yes. Yes. It's the Nintendo Switch is exactly what we all predicted. It was going to be so I have some some data on that.

My prediction predates all of your predictions. It even predict it predates the fusion rumors and it was on the Monday of the week of January 21st, 2014. In Steve Buscemi is a Zora. You can put your dick away during armchair CEO, in which I predicted this identical. We don't want to get pulled down. You can put your dick back.

I'm sorry. I knew you were going to say that due to my precognition. Everyone gets to shit on me for being wrong all the time. I get to fucking gloat about my precognitive penis right now. We're all really impressed that you guessed something that wasn't like a crazy and was super. Hey, man, you can you can downplay it. No, it's only up when you get something like the DS.

Enjoy your broken clock moment. It's totally cool. No problem. Yeah. Anyway, that being said, the switch which turned out to be the thing that most people reasonably hoped it was going to more than more than me. Being right. The more more important thing is that it's what we want.

Yeah, that's way more important. Yeah. Kind of for the most part. Yeah. And and, you know, you know, an item that me and Liam could agree that this is what we want. So you'll hear a bit more about what Matt's opinion on this after this part of the podcast. Yeah. But it sounds like you, Pat, you like the name. I love the name. I think it's great.

Liam, how do you feel about the name? Initially, I was like, but you feel that way about all new console names when you hear them. Not the Dreamcast. You're like, but then. But then now I'm like, OK, that's where it is. I hear Matt. I know Matt doesn't really like it very much, but that's it's a name who gives a shit.

Yeah, I think it's fine. Yeah, I think it does the job. And it tells you what it does. And it keeps it stays on brand with that. I should mention the one thing I don't agree with some people on the name is the people, the truthers who say NX was a better name. Oh, that's stupid. That's always stupid. But and when like, what would that mean? What's it supposed to be?

Just new experience in Nintendo. Sure. Exes are cool. You know, I should I should like qualify why I love the name so much. I'm one of those people that just every day of their existence I can't stand saying the Wii and the Wii U. I hate it so much to this day. I never got used to it. I never got over it.

I hate that those are terrible. So when and when the the PR lady, I forgot her name. It wasn't Karen Kaplan. It was someone else. But it came out and said, all right, get your jokes out now. We announced the name, the Wii, so that you can go ha ha, but then get used to it because it's staying. And I was like, no, I stayed for a long time.

And but it's just kind of like, you know, but everyone's not wrong in that. It's never going to not mean a dick. And yeah, it's easy for everyone to say around the world. But like, still, you could have done better. Yeah. You know, there was that that that campaign to remove the W and just make it a V and just call it the V for the fifth console that.

Sure. That's stupid. Yeah, sure. But I'm like, I'd rather I'd rather that. I'd rather that. And, you know, you're going to hear this twice today. But even the fact that, like, I wouldn't mind if we actually got something called the Nintendo again. It wouldn't be that bad again. Yeah, there was never a Nintendo entertainment system.

You're right. You know, but the Nintendo, I wouldn't mind that happening in this. And then the sequel comes out as the big Nintendo. So Switch, as has been shown to us, is a what Nintendo says it is the console you can take with you on the go. That's right. What it actually is is a handheld console you can plug into your TV. I'm in, like, strong agreement with Liam's, like, position on this.

And that's all based on what the dock is. If I gave you a larger than average Vita that had an HDMI out, that's a handheld. That's a handheld. That's not a console. And, yeah, and it's and it's got, like I said, the dock doesn't do anything except charge and HDMI. Maybe. That's actually not what they said.

What they said was those are the things that we're talking about. Those are its primary functions. A lot of the details of the of the NX leaks were very believable by people like Laura Vale and Emily Rogers, who have been leaking stuff since, like, fucking 3DS, like forever. Yep. And with the validation of their leaks, it also sheds light on some of the other things they've said

that now have, I mean, there's still rumors, obviously, until confirmed. But newfound validity, such as, potentially, when it's in the dock with the with improved cooling via the dock, it's going to be able to get a little more juice up a little higher. So also, it's not relying on a battery. So you may actually also get slightly improved, which may send off. But that's still firmly rumored territory. So it makes sense, which is part two of the seven twenty P screen

to a ten eighty television, which is part two of the story because Laura Dale, who listens to our stuff. Cool. Hey, what's up? I didn't know that. Yeah, Laura's cool. Has been writing up on some like some stuff that's still rumored, but it's from trustworthy sources. She's written up a lot of stuff in the past. She was the one where that super fucking sketchy illustration

of the NX controller looked like. Yeah. Yeah. And so the the the big details popping up in addition to, well, OK, for start, we haven't gone through. No, exactly. I'll keep talking about it for a second. Yeah, go for it. It seems like this is a full cut or switch for Nintendo.

No dual screen capabilities. Yep. Seems like it's very likely there won't be backwards compatibility very likely. Yes, that happened. No, exactly. It seems like it is a new start. It does echo some of the stuff that Iwata was talking about,

about having one ecosystem where they can make all their titles instead of having to split their development focus and such. And basically, you have this this console, this handheld console that you can take with you. It looks like a Wii U game. Plug it in and play it at home. And you pop the sides off. Yeah, there's controllers on the sides,

like if you imagine a Wii U game pad. Excuse me. Joy console. Joy console. Yeah, I was going to jump in. You can pull those off and they they play as NES pads with a stick instead of a D pad. Or you can or you can slap them onto the side of a controller shell and yeah,

and use it as a more traditional controller, or you can use them more like a Wii remote nunchuck. It's actually a new one. Actually, one of the rumors was that one of them has an I.R. pointer. Yes, which is great, because the I.R. pointer is worth keeping around. Absolutely.

Which makes me wonder if there's a receiver for that that has to go somewhere. Well, it's like, well, here's my theory, because you know how it sticks out of the dock just a little bit. Yeah. So yeah. So the Wii U game pad does have an I.R. bar on the top.

I don't know if you're familiar with that. Yeah, it does. It's a little. So you can play Wii games. So I think that the I.R. sensor is on the top of that. Because I'm like, that looks so weird. That's the weirdest part of that entire design.

No, exactly. More like it looks so Wii. I hope you can plug in a sensor bar though, because that shit's not fitting under my TV. No, mine either. Well, here's what's going to happen is fast forward 12 months from release and you're going to see a caked line of dust right on that part of the screen on everybody's fucking

switch. Well, not leaves. How do you? How are you not going to take it out? Of course, but for people that keep it docked in most of the time permanently, that dust is going to only cover that part of the screen. That feels like it's such a huge oversight.

I mean, I don't know. You know, I bet everything is sticking out. Well, no, no, but I'm just saying, I think you're overestimating the amount of people who won't take advantage of the ability now they've got it. You know, what if you're playing Dark Souls 3 and you want to take a shit? I was about to be well, I've got an option.

Well, I open up remote play. It takes three seconds and then I continue playing. Do you ever take a shit? Yeah. Well, guess what? But I'm saying now you don't have to start playing you ever play with you games in your bed. I have.

Well, now you can again, and you will. But it's not going to live in there. But the majority of the time it'll live in its dock. Sure. And that means that it's just going to like that difference, the exposure versus not exposure to the light. It takes a while to accumulate dust. I don't know about you, but my stuff

doesn't get dusty for like a while. And how posters, the light fades on one side of the thing or whatever, in this case, it's a screen. I think this is anti-Nintendo fud. I think it's a weird design, and it should be flushed. I like how it's not flushed because it's easier to grab. I actually like grab from any side. I think this is a really stupid thing to get excited over.

But the way that you slide the Joy-Con sides onto it in its dock and then pull it out, I don't know why, but there's a part of that that makes me giddy. Well, actually, that's one part of their marketing I like a lot, is whenever they show the logo, they slide the logo in. It has the most satisfying, crunchy OCD inside of it. They play this click, and I think that's

going to be their main branding sound, replacing the Wii U and the DS's iconic things like that. So it's good. I like that. You have the image or album of perfect machining things that just they're satisfying to them. Oh, totally. And it does have that part of it.

You ever see that video of farm animals getting thrown into that fucking slow grinder on the floor? No. That thing's nuts. Well, anyway, satisfying. We need footage of someone incorrectly aligning the Joy-Cons and going, ugh, so that one side is off. And it just sits wrong.

I don't want to hear this. And then scrapes past the locking mechanism so that it never cleanly slides again. Chest is tightening up. This is terrible. Sandpaper on sandpaper. So it's terrible. It's nice that Nintendo is going to make the Vita 2.

Yes. A platform with a lot of Japanese support, questionable Western support, and no Sony games. Well, we saw that screenshot. Screenshot. Oh, that's good. Give me a hand. That's all right.

There's the list of companies. That hurts. I know it hurts. I hate saying it the most. Hey, you know what? Company matters on that. I see Capcom on that list. I see Platinum.

That means we're going to get a fucking Monster Hunter game that's for real for fucking God's sake. Go ahead, talk to them. And we're getting Skyrim. We saw it. Skyrim's happening, right? Maybe. Maybe.

Right? Maybe. I mean, why would they show it in the footage if it wasn't happening? I have an answer for you here. So you're referring to when asked, but as the said, they don't have a title to confirm for a switch? Is this real?

And everyone's like, nah, bro. But we're flattered that they want to use our game. We're partying with Nintendo and stuff. What that reads to me and a lot of people is please buy Skyrim remastered for PS4 and Xbox One. We'll talk about that in three months. And maybe we'll get you to double dip on the next one, is what that reads to me.

So here's the company list if you want to read off of it. Yep, absolutely. I mean, I did have it. But that's fine. We can. All right, we got Papa John's Trojan, Big Pens, Big Idea, Subway, Fairline, CNN, Eminem is getting involved. Eminem is going to be on there.

I'm happy. Eminem is going to be on there. Directs AT&T and Wendy's are throwing their hats in the ring. Info Wars. Alex Jones. Info Wars. Alex Jones's Info Wars game. Flag of Fox is going to be on there.

Yep. Yep. I'm happy that the companies are getting involved. This is great because Liam sent me this before. And that image is a perfect test of who actually looks at images that he sends people. Because I saw that and I didn't read it. I just saw it and went, oh, yeah, that's about right.

You glossed over it. Yeah, that should be fine. Yeah, there it is. Good stuff, good stuff. Well done, guys. So there is a real company list. Includes video game companies. The bottom fifth of it, you can just kind of delete or fade

away. Because it's companies like Unreal and audio, Kodak companies, and Ys, and Unity. And those all matter. Don't get me wrong. But they're not video games. They're not video games. They should be givens.

Yeah, they should be givens as well. And then a couple of those companies like Hamster, who mainly make Sudoku titles, and Maximum Games and stuff, they're like, OK, they're not super noteworthy. But there are big names in there, such as Mainstays, like Platinum, and Capcom, who've always developed on Nintendo systems.

And some new arrivals like Bethesda and From Software, who haven't made Nintendo games in a while. Yeah, have From Soft ever made Nintendo games? Yeah, Gamecube. OK, lost games as well. That's the one that people are going like, what, what, what, what? Dark Souls Trilogy will likely come out on this device.

Or is the sci-fi series they're working on? I doubt that very much. I think Trilogy's a bit optimistic. I could see Dark 3 coming out at least, because it's recent. Something, I don't know. But yeah, so this then gets into, and of course, oh, by the way, the sigh of relief slash fart of relief when the pro controller showed up in that.

It's the first thing you see. Yes. It's the first thing you see. My favorite thing about the pro controller is you look at it, and you're like, that looks a bit weird. Why does it look weird? And then when you pause it, you notice that it's actually transparent black plastic,

which is cool, because I like my Game Boy colors. Oh, was that what it was? It is, but it's really hard to see. I don't think lots of people notice that. Either way, that kind of just makes you go, oh, no matter what happens. You've got lots of control options. I feel like it is very, it's the first.

You don't see the console. You don't see the controller. You don't see anything. The first thing you see is a Nintendo 360 controller. Because the Joy-Cons, because they have to be the same layout, there's no D-pad. Your D-pad is replaced with four buttons. Four arrow buttons.

Effectively the AVXY buttons, but with arrows. They're C-buttons, almost. Yeah, so you really go like, ooh. They're the same size for equivalents, but it's not a D-pad. Honestly, that made me worry a little bit. The majority of games, the vast majority of games. It'll be fine. Don't use the D-pad as a D-pad anymore.

They use it as buttons. Yeah, we've gotten, we were in that future. But I do like control with D-pads. Well, luckily, there's a controller for you. There is. It's called the Xbox 360 Nintendo Pad Pro. Just want to say one last thing on the company list real quick, because a lot of people, who this is their first

rodeo, are looking at their company list and going, like, this is the best ever. Well, that list looked very similar for the Wii U. The Wii U has a very similar list. The Wii has a very similar list, granted with a lot more support. The DS had a very similar list, and the 3DS. And lots of games announced, and leaked, and teased,

and confirmed were just canned, and never went anywhere. You remember, of course, famous announcements like Saints Row on the 3DS and stuff, where it's like, that's a big game. Yeah, well, don't. Well, it didn't come out. This list is just what it is. It is a paper list, and it is not games.

So yeah, calm it down. Just getting that out there for those who haven't seen these. Don't go flash it. Listen. Just have to. Listen. Chop down. If you want to play games on a Nintendo console,

this is really exciting, because they don't have a split output anymore. They're going to make a phone game every now and then, minor, and doesn't. Making them with DNA as well. The DNA makes it. Your handheld games will be console games. Your console games will be handheld games.

And that essentially doubles the library of any particular platform, right? But third party support's going to be shit. No, I think it'll be a lot better this time around. That's still shit. The Wii U. Even a massive improvement would still be shit. No, I don't agree with that.

It'll be poop. Especially because, like, they made decent headway with getting independent developers on the Wii U. To put it into perspective, and this isn't like a fanboy thing, but just to put it into perspective, it still wasn't as good as the Vita did in that regard. So they still have a ways to go in that. No, Vita did great with the indies and third party.

But given the absence of a future Vita, a lot of those guys are going to jump to this. Like, no problem, besides the fact that it's a new, appealing Nintendo system. So I think the support's going to be dramatically better and turn out fine, honestly. Especially with stuff like Japan. Nintendo gets Japan.

They are. Like, Japan is still Nintendo land, as far as console sales are concerned. Absolutely. This is something that actually might. Even though it's a handheld. So, and the thing about this handheld that might help fight back against the tides of children

with iPads is the fact that it's got two controllers on it that lets you play co-op locally. It also, huge deal. I think that's a big deal. It also may have touch controls. Yep, which we can't. Now we're going in a rumor town. But now we're getting into Lord of Dale stuff.

Which is all very fascinating, actually. On the split-screen thing, real quick, I saw a bunch of people throwing around how they'd love to play a fighting game on it. Like, it'd be great to have Nidhogg and stuff like that on it. The only thing that kind of bums me out about that is playing fighting games with an analog stick as your primary movement input kind of sucks.

But hey, I guess, get what you can. You get what you can. But yes, it's good for Smash. Yeah, good for Smash. It's perfect for Smash, actually. But basically, there's a lot of stuff that you kind of look at it and you go, hey, is that a touch screen?

What's the deal with this or that? And you kind of wonder if we're going to get more details. Nintendo officially says we're not talking about that right now. But there have been some rumors popping in from various sources and developers that have been working with the dev kits. I believe it was a Ubisoft source that Laura has in this case. Yeah, so basically, we're looking at the Switch reports

and info, a post that she made on her blog. Exactly. Well, not on the where did that thing go? Here we go. Yeah, and the sum of it is it looks like it's a multi-touch screen, which would be capacity. Yeah, Laura K. Dale says, I'm very confident in saying that the Nintendo Switch screen is a touch screen,

but that's not core to most gameplay. Because it has to be played with the pro controller. Another source is saying that, oh, no, no, the same source is saying it'll be there for menus, drawing in certain games like Mario Maker and things like that. And it will be multi-touched. So it's not like a tablet. A regular old modern capacitive screen.

I think, obviously, they're not talking about it because I think they know what they want with their marketing right now. And they need a million percent to market this as just a console. It almost doesn't fucking matter what they do in Japan. It doesn't fucking matter. They're going to have Animal Crossing.

They're going to have Monster Hunter. They're going to have Dragon Quest. It doesn't fucking matter. Japan will buy it, whether it's a console or a handheld. And hey, would you look at it, it's a handheld. It's a handheld, guys. But for the West, they need to a billion percent drive home that it is a console.

It's not a handheld. It's a console. It's playable as a console because the West is more console focused, that's all there is to it. And the West is the market where they're flagging. If the thing has a touchscreen, which I'm going to guess it does, the rumor that the right Joy-Con controller has an IR pointer makes perfect sense because then that would replicate

it when it's docked. Yeah, it would make it work. And yeah, sorry, that was what I was getting at. By not talking about the touchscreen, you don't have to infer that there can be any inferior experiences by not having a touchscreen for the console usage. I can see that the IR pointer could be a little bonus control

option for certain games or whatever. Yeah, it makes perfect sense because games like Mario Maker need the pointer. So the other things that we are getting along the rumorvine is that the Switch dock might actually have additional processing power. It might. It, there's an additional processor in the dock.

And I would expect at least a few seconds to swap from handheld to console. It again comes from sources A at Nintendo, B at Ubisoft, and D at manufacturing. None could confirm whether or not the dock is a PSVR style processing box or not. But they claim that the hardware has an easier time running docked when compared to running a portable.

That makes perfect sense. That makes sense. You run the docked version at 1080. You run the non-docked version at 720. Yeah. Like you can see it in practice in real life with the PSP and Vita if you hack them, because you can just overclock them and make games run better,

but your battery runs out a lot quicker. So by plugging it in, you can clock it much higher. You can clock it to its third limit. To other fancy things, yeah. Especially if you have an extra fan in the base, which it seems like there might be. And as you're speaking about battery life. Yes, this is the big one.

That pro controller looks really good. The big one is to those asking about battery life on the Nintendo Switch, I'm hearing mediocre battery life. Three hours might be. Three might be the limit for playing. It might be the limit. Here's a solution.

More taxing titles likely, I would think. Pop the Joy-Cons off. Pop batteries on in the Joy-Con slots. Well, the problem solved. Well, to me, the solution is actually just, like, plug it in with a plug. But yeah. Well, I mean, if you're on a bus for six hours.

This is where some. So you just plug in a regular USB charger, you know, like the portable one. Yeah, I was just going to say exactly. But this is where some hardware company gets involved and says, here's your backup battery. Here's the. NICO made an amazing grip for the Vita that goes on

and has an extra battery. You have one for your iPhone. Yeah, exactly. My phone, I don't think about battery on my phone. Now, this battery life, if the rumor's correct, I'm very inclined to believe it because all her other stuff from, I assume, the same sources has been vindicated and validated as true.

This battery life's bad. Yeah, it's not good. We're offering up solutions because we're looking for a solution. Hoping for a solution. But it's bad. Yeah, three hours is like a not. It's not good.

It's not a complete play session for some kids. It's poor. Yeah, definitely. So I really hope they take notes from what Sony did with their handhelds and incorporate some of the features that they didn't incorporate on the 3DS, such as the handheld forcing itself into a hibernate mode when the battery hits like 5%.

Yeah, that's my favorite function of the Vita. I have lost progress in 3DS titles because I've been struggling to get to a save point for half an hour. And I lose progress. And I've never, ever heard of anyone losing progress on their Vita because the battery dies. Well, you don't have a Vita, right?

I have a Vita TV. OK, but you know how long the hibernate lasts on a Vita? Yeah, when I borrowed years to play a PS4 before Golden, like over a week, I would stop P4. I'd save my P4G save and put it down and just leave it and return, ugh, whatever, when my life was happening. There's no worry, that shit lasts forever. So I really hope they've been taking notes

because the 3DS was missing some of those features that I would honestly call essential to a handheld in a post-Sony handheld world. I hope they've done that. And if the battery is low like this, there's not much you can do. I am wondering slash hoping. So the Joy-Cons, the controllers that come off,

they have to have a battery in them. 100%. OK, yes. Because you have to be able to disconnect them and use them, right? Yes, yes. A billion percent. They have fucking lights on them for fuck's sake.

Yeah, I wonder and suppose if there could be an alternative Joy-Con attachment that did the same thing as the Joy-Con but also had a larger battery. And I wonder if the firmware supports equalization of the battery across the devices. At which points you just play with the pro controller? No, what I'm suggesting is if the firmware supports it

and the hardware supports this kind of thing. Because the Joy-Cons take their power from the core device. That's how it works because you don't plug the Joy-Cons into anything. I wonder if it goes the other way too. And if your main device is lower on battery than the Joy-Cons, will it be able to siphon battery from the Joy-Cons?

Because there's no point in having the Joy-Cons alive when the main thing's dead. Okay. So I'm wondering if the battery works in any way like that or if the hardware supports that kind of energy transfer. I don't know. I don't know if that's viable. I don't know how batteries work to any high level of detail.

But there's no point in having your Joy-Cons alive when the console's dead, so. If Nintendo doesn't have a fix for this issue, then again, another company will. NICO will. So I'm not a thousand percent worried here, but I think that it would suck if by default you had to deal with this three hours tops,

no matter what you're playing. Yeah, there is one thing that I was thinking about that I think is kind of a silver lining. And it does not fix the battery life being as low as it is. It really doesn't. But, and this might just be bad discipline on my part, but when I get home, if I've been using my 3DS or my Vita, my first reaction is not always to plug them in.

And often they'll just sit in my bag or sit on a bookshelf or whatever, and they'll just sit there not charging. And so when I pick up the device again, the battery will be a bit lower. Switches, the design of Switch is such that they intend for you to continue playing at home. And I'm inclined to believe,

and again, this is just because I'm looking for solutions, I'm inclined to believe that I would have better discipline in plugging it in, because I would want to just continue playing it on my TV. And not just that. I feel like just because of that discipline increase on my part, the Switch, whenever I pick it up, would always be at a 100% charge.

Here's the thing. Again, this is only because I'm looking for fixes. Well, I have a real world case of that in which when I got a 3DS XL, like I similarly had terrible discipline plugging it into the wall. I hate it. So I imported, and it pissed me off

that I had to import it, one of the docs from, I think. That you can just rest it on, actually, that you just pop it in. And once I got that, the thing was always at a 100%, because it was the place that my 3DS lives. That's its home.

That's its home. I come home and I, oh, I put my 3DS down. And with the Switch, it's even more so, because do I want to play Monster Hunter on my TV now? Yes! Yes, I do! So it is not a fix. It's a million percent not a fix,

but I do feel like for a lot of people, the forced or pushed increased discipline in charging the device de facto will kind of assuage some of that. But it's not a fix for plane rides. Yeah. And again, it's no excuse for the battery being used. Luckily, a lot of planes have a plug in the seat,

fortunately, but still. I would, and it's a given that the suspend state will have to be perfect. It'll have to be a, not low power, but almost no power. I mean, I'm fed up of Nintendo's console and handheld OS as being bad. So I do hope that they catch up and get exactly what you're proposing in there.

Because again, you're taking the same, the Nintendo path of going on a different route from the rest of the game industry at the moment. We're gonna be crazy and different. And you're doing something that people are, they have space in their lives for, a handheld that is as good as their home console. A console, well, not a handheld.

Enjoy your Hamburg. Yeah, sorry. And you know what I mean? Like there's a place for that, but you can't be bogged down with these dumb problems that have already been addressed in previous generations. All of that needs to not be a thought and needs to like be a fucking given on day one.

You remember that we use fucking OS at lunch? For this to work out. Oh, dude. You had like minute long wait times for certain operations. Not acceptable. So I do hope that they do handle that a bit better. 3DS is fucking die while they're in sleep mode.

It's fucking nuts. I mean, I know every device dies on sleep mode. I know the entropy of the universe is coming from my 3DS's battery. But like as we know it dies in sleep mode. Yeah, but like I can leave my Vita in sleep mode for a week, two weeks, and I'll be able to pop it back open

with half the battery sometimes. So like this isn't a fanboy thing. Like there is technology that fucking does this. So fucking do this. Hey, if my switch, I'm playing a game. I'm like, uh-oh, battery's getting low. And I turn it off and then I get home and I was too late. And it's dead?

Fuck that, I'm never taking it out of the house again. That's what I like about the forced hibernate on the Vita. Yeah, exactly. Because it knows when to stop because it's like, yeah, I'll still have enough for a while. Because when I played 3DS games on the bus, I just noticed just now that the light is red. How long has it been like that?

Uh-oh, I'm gonna put it in sleep. It was too late. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The moment my DS starts flashing, you go panic close. Well, I always hated that period of time actually traveling to your place. Yeah, where I get on and I realize, oh, my battery's not all the way charged, whatever.

And then I keep looking back down into my bag to see when the light starts flickering red. Because when it starts flickering red, it's like, it's panic time. Yeah, everyone panic. You're gonna die. You are gonna die. You have maybe 20 minutes tops.

Oh, no, you're at the last dungeon boss fight of fucking Golden Sun. Whatever. Uh-oh, don't go save it because saving uses just a little bit more battery power. Oh, God, I forgot about that. In fact, just enough to kill the damn thing off and kill your save.

Yeah, in a post-Sony handheld world, the idea that your handheld can run out of batteries while you're playing is bananas to me. That should not exist anymore. They literally fixed the problem. They fixed it. And I really hope Nintendo rolls that forward. And it doesn't seem like that hard of a problem to fix.

No, it doesn't. I'm not a tech wizard man, but... You force sleep and don't let it wake up while the battery's at 5% or lower. You turn everything off other than the RAM, I guess. The other thing that is going to be mandatory is gonna be the screen cannot be... It has to be an OLED screen.

It cannot be the same type of quality that we got off of the 3DS. It has to look like as crisp and as sharp as Vita's and PSP's and iPhones do. You're crazy. I don't think it has to be all the way OLED because the new Vita looks good. Have you seen it?

But do you think something like less than what we're used to on our phones is gonna fly these days, man? Well, Woolly, the size of... How expensive do you want the device to be? Woolly, the size of the screen combined... With 720p means that the pixels per inch is much lower than you're gonna be used to.

I just think that that was always... Liam has left and returned with a Vita. Yeah, here. Just so you can see, don't get me wrong. I would love an OLED screen because the colors are unparalleled, but this is an LCD screen on a Vita. And it's 540p, it's not the 720,

and it's also smaller than the 3D... I should mention that that screen is using somewhat proprietary Sony technology. It's the same technology that's in that television right next to us. I don't think we outright need OLED because it's so expensive, but you're right. We cannot have the shit that is the quality

of the 3DS screen. That's all I'm... Okay, then... Because I think that's what you're getting at. Then read my mind here. Woolly, the Vita... The 3DS screen looks like trash compared to the PSP, the Vita, and every phone people have.

PSP. Woolly, these days. The 3DS's screen's biggest problem is that they are junk screens, but bigger than that is that they are 240p screens. And that is just eye-searing. But PSP is a higher risk. But Woolly's right, there are worse problems

than just 240p. Like a lot of them are horribly yellow. Yes, because they're junk screens. And I don't mean just a little yellow, like some Bomb Vita 2000s, but... I remember the SMT4 credit sequence taught me that my top screen on my old 3DS was a yellow pile of shit,

and I could never unsee it afterwards. When you get out your stylus and you're drawing, or you're doing whatever, and you can see that the input spot is about two millimeters off from where you're actually touching the screen. No, don't worry about that. We're beyond that now.

You can't fucking sell that to people anymore. Much less on a tablet-sized screen where all of those imperfections are now, like, magnified. You can't do that, you know? So that's a huge thing, too. Like, they can't sell a system like that. It shouldn't be able to fly, yeah. And yes, price matters.

You can't throw it up and have... I can't see this going for $499, you know what I mean? Like, or VR prices. Like, they have to come in at the regular Nintendo price, but that's just a worry, right? Yeah, one of the rumors a while ago was that it would be cheaper than most expect, which I think, for most people,

leads you to think, like, 250 or something when you look at the Wii U launching it. What was it, 300, 350 split, I think? Wii U was 300 for the base, 350 for the... I think that was the split. But the problem was the base one was terrible. It was useless, yeah. So I hope they can launch it at $249, $299.

And nowadays, you can get a fucking good screen in a piece of hardware like that. I think that's optimistic. I'm thinking it's gonna be $299, $349, more likely. And $299 will just be the item with two joy-cons. $299 with two joy-cons, $399 with the dock, the pro... Dock pro controller and a better hard drive. Yeah.

I think the dock's gonna come with it. I think it has to. No, no matter what. Because remember, it's a console. It's a console. Can't not have the dock. You can't sell the NES without Rob. And if there's processing power in it.

Yeah, in the West, anyway, I think there's not gonna be a version without it until maybe a few years in, they'll decide to make a version that optionally doesn't have it or something, but I don't know. I, you know, I would love a version of this that is just literally half the size.

Yeah, well, you want it smaller, yeah? Give it a few years and Japan will get that and we'll get it a year later. Because I want, if I'm gonna have a handheld, I want it to be the size of a handheld. And I still want it to plug into a TV. But the reality of the tech that's going into it means it has to be a certain size.

It's big. It's like Wii U GamePad. It's a Wii U GamePad. I remember holding the Wii U GamePad, looking down at it while I was playing like Smash, and just thinking, this is about the limit of what I'd be willing to carry with it. It is a lot thinner, according to what we've seen.

Is it? Cause some of those, some of those. I'm getting mad deja vu right now. That's a funny feeling, but. Some of those screens we saw that were tweeted out of like mock-up looks or whatever, showed that the back actually looked pretty thick. It's pretty, it's like a tablet.

So you can look up an image. You absolutely just go ahead and look up an image. Cause that'll, I think Nintendo's official website has them just like lower down on the page. But it's a lot thinner than a Wii U GamePad, that's for sure. A Wii U GamePad is like. GamePad's like a dick. It's fucking chunky.

That'll be a huge like. I think you are right about the Joy-Cons being chunkier. But that's a dev unit. The dev units are chunkier. It's chunky cause it's got a lot of things for them. Then that's what I saw. Yeah, exactly. Nevermind, all right.

Fair enough. All right, so yeah man, that's what's going down. We got, we didn't talk about it much, but the fact that the Switch logo is also kind of a yin-yang. It's great. A little bit, yeah. I think that's cool. It's really, it's more than cool.

I think it's a really well-designed graphic. And I think that like branding-wise, that's genius. The logo and the branding seems really smart. I wanna give a little clappy-claps for whoever designed the three-minute trailer that they put out. It's a good trailer. Cause it is the complete opposite of the Wii U trailer

that they put out five years ago. There's no words, except for the logo at the end. There's no confusion about what it is. And no one is awkwardly diving while playing Metroid Prime behind a couch. I was gonna say they go to the ultimate extremes to tell you everything. You can play it on a plane.

Well, the first thing is, I am playing this with a controller on my television. I am taking it out of the television. I am at a park, not home. Now I'm at the airport. Now I'm on a plane. Now two guys are playing it in a car. Not like, they go to the nth.

And it's great. And then I got to the hotel and I'm playing it on the TV again. It's great, cause they failed to go to the nth. And if you haven't watched the Wii U reveal trailer recently, it's impossible to discern. I encourage you to watch it, cause it is day and night. It aged even worse than you expected.

Cause like, I remember it being cringy, but I don't remember the specifics of that. I remember the Wii one. One of the things that I forgot how bad it was with the Wii U one was the amount of times they say the new controller. Play with the new controller. And they just say the new controller.

And I think you might remember the detail of how the Wii U is just like, it's just there under the TV, but it never actually gets a single shot to itself. You never actually see the new console. You only ever see the controller. But that was weird too, because like they revealed like the different parts

about it separately from each other instead of the whole thing together already. So that was already a weird thing. The weirdest part about it by far. I like, here's the console. See, it's not what we want to see. The console looks like nothing. There's a moment where a lady stands on the Wii balance pad

with the Wii U game pad. And those are the only things in the shot. And she's playing what apparently is Wii Fit. A version of Wii Fit, yeah. That looks exactly the same. And they show things to the controller. And it's like, I remember. I remember when that happened,

we were legitimately confused. And if people as informed and as into this as we are get confused, how does mom have a chance? I mean, I know I wasn't, but just because I was sticking to their line of this is a new console, but if I hadn't heard that line, I would have been confused to tell you that much.

I want to give a special shout out to our buddy Daz Zero, because he did a pretty cool write up on like exactly what all the elements of the Switch logo are and like why they're so strong from a graphic designer's point of view. I have not seen that. And like, yeah. And it just breaks down like,

if you're coming up with a good logo like this and it has to represent your console for the next X amount of years, you better put some fucking research into it. And theoretically, if this is meant to last beyond just the Switch and continue Nintendo's output for, you know, for a long time, it's more than just a single console in this case too,

which is even more impressive. So yeah, good job on Nintendo. Good job. You read the world's mind and you're likely. No, nobody was keeping it in their mind. Everyone was yelling it. Yeah, no, I was just gonna say that. You opened your ears.

You opened the window and looked at the angry crowd below and read a couple of their signs. Okay. I do think it's interesting from another standpoint because it's gonna be hard for anyone to ever make a handheld ever again. Oh yeah. In a post-Switch world.

Unless there's some big horrible faux pas with the Switch, which it's Nintendo, so don't count it out. I mean, I'm excited for it, but it's Nintendo. Because you were diseased. Unless there's some big horrible faux pas, you know, now I think the expectation for any new handheld from any company, which I mean, there's not gonna be one,

but any new handheld would have to have the video out, would have to somehow be able to compete with this volume of games, you know. Well, now that the fucking both branches are coming together. Yeah, exactly. You know, that's the one that's not the most obvious point, but it's the one that we've repeated a couple of times.

It's the one that I'm most excited about. The 3DS, Nintendo's team, and the Wii Nintendo team. Now there are no shitty handhelds to put Monster Hunter on. So every month we can just see games, games, games, games, you know, and that's your strength. Yeah, no, definitely. And I mean, I still feel the same reservations I did last year,

which is like, I'm not looking forward to a handheld monopoly by Nintendo, because if there is something fucked about the device that's a problem, just if there is, I don't know what it would be, but if there is, that's all you got. There's no other choice, right? You live with the fucked thing, right?

But it looks really good, and I'm excited to buy one. And I like the idea of a world where you can totally, like you're getting a choice of AAA full-length feature games or short, more public transportation-oriented, like smaller games. Yeah, like a Vita, yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, you're getting the full bridge.

It's the Vita too, dude, like it's fine, fine. Sorry. No, you're right. The Vita would be a much better system if it had Nintendo games on it. Yeah. And Nintendo knew that. So they said, hey.

Let's do that. Let's do that. I guess just because like when I think about like what I played on the 3DS as like full games, like even like- It was Kid Icarus. And Kirby and SMT, you know, but everything about those was still like.

There were a few like Resident Evil Revelations. No, I don't wanna call it a marginalized experience, but like- It didn't feel genuinely AAA, it's all level-based. Exactly. So like there's Resident Evil Revelations and SMT4, I would put those two up there. But other than that, you're right.

It's all, it's mostly level-based and it's mostly simplified stuff. Yep, Kuros. So, yeah. With that, the other thing going down this week is, I fucking love the, not just the, not the main story, but the details of the story. Gone gold, what up?

Yeah. Y'all, did you guys catch this at all? Yeah, I did not. Oh man, so basically, there was a, I forgot, what's his name? Let me pull this up. A developer. A developer on The Last Guardian tweeted out,

gone gold, what up? And everyone's like, oh shit. The Last Guardian went gold. It's happening, we're doing it. And- Yeah, go ahead and finish that. And then like, not too long after that happened and everyone started tweeting about it and stuff,

the post of the tweet got deleted. Uh-oh, right, got pulled down. Everyone's like, oh no, did it not go gold? Is it a lie? Is the game canned? Is it happening? Are they deleting the files live on stage right now? And then it was like, no, Shuhei Yoshida wanted

to break the news. So then he tweeted, I waited very long time to say this, The Last Guardian has gone gold. I'm so excited. And it's like, oh shoot, Yosup just wanted to get it. You motherfucker, I've been waiting this for like nine years. You stole my thunder. He stole his thunder, he stole his thunder.

Honestly, I would say him. The guy who made the game, handled the thunder. Him or whoever it is that made the game should be the one that tweets it out. I know, but she's like, nah. It's as opposed to random marketing guy from Sony US. No, you know what it is? Like Uwena goes on Twitter and goes,

hey, I heard from some guy The Last Guardian went gold, I guess. Yeah, exactly. I worked on that. I'd like to imagine that like that employee got called into an office right away. Shu was on the phone on a conference call going, excuse me.

You know how much Shu likes his thunder. Excuse me. Well, Willie, bring yourself back, right? You're working QA. Yep. Right? Yep. Game goes gold.

Yep. Are you going to be the first one? No, I'm not a Q, am I a QA guy? Yeah, you're the QA guy. No. Are you going to be the first one to announce that human revolution went gold? But if I am the director?

You're the director, yeah, for sure. Or the producer. Sure. Then yes, I am going to do that. No matter what the first party CEO fucking says. But this guy was neither as far as I can tell. I asked him. Who was he?

He was Jun Yoshino. And he's very good at guilty. He's a last guardian developer is all we know. So we don't exactly know what in specific, but I guess he's not the director. But either way, it's a short list of people who are allowed to take that credit. I say the producer or the director can do it.

But Shu was like, nah, son. It's mine. That's me. Kind of kept it alive in a way. Pewdiepie fucking broke it really. Yeah. More than anything. Absolutely.

He has the best marketing the game will ever get. So we're living in a world where the last guardian is real and my PS3 purchase will be validated finally. You should tweet out putting it in the PS3. Yeah. Spoilers for Woolies Twitter. That's a good find. Twitter spoilers live.

Maybe I should get on that. We also. I hope that game doesn't suck. I'm really terrified that it's going to suck. It doesn't look like it goes suck. It looked good. OK, thank you. I appreciate you going on your extra black voice

to reassure me. That's cool. I think speaking of like calming. Just like your mommy used to do back in the day. Just like my mom. No, I didn't say your mom. Oh, whatever. His mommy.

She used to suckle up in the. What is it? What if I'm missing part of the approach by the blood black face and you know, sometimes when your mommy didn't have the milk, then the mammy had to take care of it. And you had to suckle up and get the milk from the mammy. And it's, you know, no, I was bothered, man. Do you not?

Do you not realize why Aunt Jemima is such a huge hit? Because syrup's great. But also because it reminded people of comforting things that they were raised with. OK, such as a blue. Anyway, yeah, we're going to move on. We're going to move on. My ignorance is a superpower.

We're moving right along and into the rumors that Titanfall 2 is going to have obviously it's going to have some improvements for PS4 Pro, but the specifics of those improvements are being rumored to be constant above 60 FPS frame rate and above 1080p gameplay, but not 4K. So, yeah, a lot of a lot of PS4 Pro titles are also doing that of going for an upscaled 4K resolution, just like Titanfall is going to do, where like Sony has a

solution in place to upscale them quite nicely, actually. But we're not. But it's not true 4K. So the thing that I'm getting, there's a lot. I've seen two interviews, both from Titanfall 2 devs and FF15 devs, and they both said pretty much the same thing, which is PS4 Pro kind of snuck up on us. Oh, yeah.

Excuse me, sorry. I said above 60, I meant a stable 60. Yes, which actually means above 60. PS4 Pro kind of snuck up on us, and we didn't really have a lot of time to put stuff into it. So it'll run a little better and it'll have a little more aliasing and anti-aliasing rather and stuff like that. It's going to take a minute for everybody to support it well.

Yes, wait for next year's game. Well, I need an answer by tomorrow. Where are you buying Titanfall 2? I'm probably going to go PC. I'm also going to go PC with you. Yeah, that being said, I have to question EA's fucking commitment to Titanfall 2, releasing it like four days after Battlefield.

Yeah, well, but it's... Yeah. I don't want to have to have an excuse as to why Titanfall didn't do as well as it did. Well, there's a big excuse. The biggest shooter of the fucking year came out four or five days before it. But, you know, like that is a thing.

When Liam mentioned that Titanfall 2 was coming out tomorrow, I got pissed because I was like, I just barely started Battlefield. It was so stupid. The marketing game plan was players were only supposed to pick one, and the more casual players like yourself are going to play Battlefield 1, and the rest of us, the core gamers with our Razer keyboards are going to play

Titanfall 2. You saw my Deathadder. Deathadder Chroma, motherfucker. You're such an asshole. The letters line up and spell out the word Wayne. Anybody who owns a fucking mouse or keyboard named after an animal is a fucking asshole. You own a fucking mouse.

It's a mouse. A mouse. A mouse is not an animal. It's vermin. Okay, so you should have seen me like... That was a cop out. I had a live adventure going over to Best Buy going, my mouse doesn't have enough buttons for my hybrid setup.

Well, do you want 50 buttons on your mouse? What do I do? And I had the Discord on my phone. The Nogged Deathadder, motherfucker. And I was like, I'm looking at these boxes. What do I do, guys? And it was just like, no matter what my choices, we're all going to be Edge Lord.

I had no way out. There's no other option. It's Glows and it's spiky. It's fine. It's plug, and it's USB. It's not wireless. I use Logitech wireless mice and keyboards, and they're fine. In any case, we're going, we're going PC for Titanfall 2

because that's where the players are. And that's where I'm going to have... Battlefield 1 is actually less popular on PC than it is on the consoles. Not too surprising. Yeah, it's still bummer. Yeah. I mean, not as popular as 200,000 simultaneous players. I know, but it's massive.

No, and it's only like 50 to 75K behind the others. But it's just, for me, it's like Battlefield to me is like a PCS fucking PC game. So it's just like... Allow me to just make some space for my friend under the bus here, but a certain Skull God did tell me that... He's like, if you thought my Overwatch was pretty good, you should see me at Titanfall. I was one of the top 500 guys. Dudes would quit when they saw me on the servers.

So what you're saying is that if I play Titanfall with you, I don't have to try. If you want to get on the carry boat now. Well, dude, Wully's got a spot on his back. I'll get on that carry boat in a second. I have no pride. Okay, so this is something I didn't talk about Battlefield because I forgot. But playing a first person shooter like Battlefield, I played Battlefield a lot. I played 94-2.

I played Vietnam. You know, all those, right? I can feel it and it's bad. I'm old. Yep. Those parts don't react as quickly as they used to. So obvious. Takes a long time.

Because I can see the guy and I know what to do and I'm dead before I could do it. And I know I used to be able to. And it's a bummer. It's a fucking bummer. Yep. Liam, you're right there. You're right about to start deteriorating. Liam's still within...

He's still within the range. The best way to play. He's still within the range of his... His human play. But even Justin Wong was like, I was at my best at 17. You're like, fuck, man. If he's saying that shit, we're all hopeless. And then I shot the guy and then my dick went flaccid.

And I was like, oh, no. I used to like this. Yeah. But that's it. No, so I'm going to be on PC. That's what he used to have. And you can join us for the Skull God tutorials. Contact him now to learn how to play.

Shoot the guy before he shoots you. Was he charged like 100 bucks an hour? No, he's going to fucking hate the fact that I did this. He's like, I just want to live a quiet life. But I'm like, no, Skull God, teach everybody. It's going to be good. You don't want to live a quiet life with a fucking user name like Skull God. So we were playing and like he hates when he uses Reaper because he does it.

But when he does and it's like playing the game, Skull God is like, you fucking edgelord. Everyone screenshot that shit and get it on Twitter. Expose his ass. Motherfucker, you pick the name. You deserve it. He probably picked it when he was nine. Sounds like it. You can never get away from that.

Everyone's got that embarrassing old hotmail. I remember when you had a nickname that you used in a lot of online games and you were a young lad and didn't know any better only to discover that your name was Code Forgetting High. At least shout out the kid with Vape in his username now. But then guess what? When you look up Woolly on Urban Dictionary, that's also Code Forgetting High. Are you serious? A Woolly is a blunt with a little bit of crack-spoken to it.

Just like you. I don't know what that means. Do you know what that means? I assume that you're saying that I bring the mellow times but also... Oh no, you're full of crack. The bad times. But it's a trick. You're going to get...

Yeah, I don't know. Relaxing good times fall by accelerating good times fall by bad bad bad times. It's going to be a good time but you're going to get more than you bargained for? Hey, the government put me amongst the black people to kill them all? Yeah. Hey, I have a question about doing hardcore drugs that maybe one of our listeners can answer. Sure. Because I don't know about doing hardcore drugs.

What is up with a drug not being good enough and then people having to put a different drug inside it? Is this the same mentality that leads to the fucking American nonsense of jamming jelly donuts into pizzas and fucking bullshit? I don't know. Weeds not enough. I need to jam crack into my weed. Yeah, I guess if you just build up a tolerance then you need to feel it more than you need to add... I mean they do different things so you get a combination. You get a combo high.

Oh look, I laced my heroin with acid. That's a good one. Well look, when you're doing combos in Marvel and eventually you realize that like you don't have enough meter... It would be Marvel, wouldn't it? You don't have enough meter to fucking get the kill. The one hit kill so you have to rely on some crazy tech. You have to do a pull and put an infinite in there. Maybe a DHC loop and then you have just enough meter to call in both systems.

And let's go with the drug PSA while we're here. Willie, you listen to the bombcast every now and then. Did you listen to their discussion of synthetic weed? How'd that go? Don't do synthetic weed. Alright. What is that? I have a friend of mine who also works in a prison.

Don't do synthetic weed. It is basically plastic weed filled with garbage and it is... That sounds awful. What if... It is not good for you. What if I did a ton of synthetic weed and then just down some Stree Overlord. And then I was like, hey baby, we're ready to go. All night.

Let's do it. You're gonna die. How fast... I mean at least it's not cigarettes. How fast does the alien bust out of my chest at that point? Like when do I get Kinshi Rose? Is Stree Overlord only notable because it has that goddamn art on it? Stree Overlord was initially notable because it has Ryu going to town on Chunli on the cover.

Angry like. With his ass crack exposed. That was the initial reason. But then when people discovered that it also kills you dead, it then became popular for its own reasons. You know what I love about Aphrodisiacs? Every time someone's like, hey, check out this Aphrodisiac. You type it into Google and you're like, oh, that doesn't improve nothing.

It just kills you. Yes. It just kills you. That's how they get you. Yeah. Can't return that. Don't do it, folks. Or do it super hard.

Do it so hard that... But before you do, please delete this podcast off your phone. Yeah. So that this advice cannot be traced back to the... Before you delete the podcast, though, make sure you write it in email and tell us exactly how sick it was. Okay, don't do this. Don't do any of this.

Like the joke is like funny, haha. No, we're taking an official stance. Do not OD on hard-ass drugs. We do not condone this at all. It won't make your VR experience better. But let us know how it was. Hey, VR is awesome. You're going to do what you want to do, and I can't stop you from doing what you want

to do, but I didn't tell you to do nothing. No, no, no. But we want to know. Look. But not really. But if you want to experience res on Crocodile. Which is, by the way, Mizuguchi says is the recommended style of play. Okay.

If you need, if you need, uh, Thumper with Jenkins in your life. Yeah. Then I'm not going to stop you. Oh, I've never even heard of that one. That's new to me. I'm not going to stop you. Oh, come on. You know the Jenkins.

Jenkins? Yeah, Jenkins. Which one's Jenkins? Saw you using it the other week. Oh, hey, hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Jenkins is the good stuff because that's the, that's the one. We're doing letters.

Oh, no, no, hold on. This is important. Welcome to drug corner. Yeah. That's the, that's the good one where you get, you get the bottle, right? And you fill the, the, this two liter bottle with as much human shit and sewage as possible. Yeah. It can't be just your own shit because it's not fed it enough.

It needs to be. Old shit. The whole city rotten shit. You put the balloon over it and tape the edge so that all the gas and vapors go straight into the balloon. Cut that bitch loose. Inhale. You got to leave it for a fucking while. Yeah.

Till the balloon fills itself up. It's got, it's got to cook. It takes about a week. Out of the sun. Let it, let it cook in the sun. Inhale that shit. That's just a more fly. That is just a more disgusting form.

That's just a more disgusting form. I felt like a plant. Exactly. That's just a more disgusting form of puffing gasoline. Well, like. But this is the truth. Yeah. Cool.

So, um. That's the Eric Andre bit where he's asking for a bit of gas at gas stations. And he just doesn't drink it. That's good. Yep. I like that Eric Andre bit. I did want to. Before getting into the letters though, I did want to talk about, did you see the two fan made Sonic games that are in the works?

As soon to be canceled. Soon to be canceled. Yeah. I saw lots of fan made Sonic. Actually recently I was looking at, I think I looked at 40 fan made Sonic games recently. Yeah. Lots of really cool stuff in there that I'd love to show you. So, um.

We got the first one is Sonic Utopia. And Sonic Utopia. That one looks cool. Looks like it's pretty dope. So, um. I think the fact that we're seeing what amounts to the equivalent of Mario 64, but in Green Hill Zone. Yeah. Looks really interesting.

I feel right now that the guy's showing off doesn't seem to have much to it besides this one running and jumping and wandering around. Yeah. And the bad guys are pretty like sparse. They're pretty like, you know, they're not a lot. There's not a ton of them. Yeah. But it looks like a phenomenal. It looks like a really fun interpretation of the Sonic one world.

Yeah. In 3D as if we didn't go the way of the, the, what you call it, Sonic Adventure. Exactly. It looks really fantastic. Actually, one thing I will point out about Sonic Fan Games is Sega doesn't cease and desist them. There are tons that come out every year. There's yearly contests. There was even a convention recently devoted to it where all it was was set ups of Sonic Fan Games.

Huh. Could this be the exception to our rule? So, well, I was going to say, yeah. Is the announcing of this game not also the announcing of its cancellation? As long as you're not monetizing it, Sega doesn't touch Sonic Fan Games at all. At all. Which is really, really cool of them actually. What if they're based on Tails gets trolled?

Wait. Well, Sonic Dreams Collection never got touched. You're right. You're right. You're right. And in fact, sometimes it leads to jobs. Like it did. Christian Whitehead.

With Christian Whitehead. I just realized that. Christian Whitehead's origins was Sonic like fan stuff. And then he did. Yeah, exactly. Sega's really cool actually. Okay. Okay.

So, sorry to be a buzzkill on that. No, no, no. I didn't even think about this until you started talking about it. And it's like, yeah, they gave that fucker a job. And now he's making Sonic Mania. Yeah. Well. Because this looks fantastic.

I'm excited to play it actually. Sonic once more is added to it. I think it's going to be a legit thing. Yeah. Right now though, it's still, like I said, still in its very demo-y kind of phase. Yeah. The second one, I don't think it actually has a name proper. But the demo that is there is for Green Hill Paradise.

Yeah. You get past the obnoxious little trailer stuff. You get into, like, what looks a bit more like the Sonic Adventure World a little bit. It's a little similar. And I mean, it's clear that this one's cribbing assets from other Sonic games, whereas the other one was all a new interpretation. Yeah. And this Green Hill Paradise demo, it looks, like I said, it looks a bit more like the

Modern Sonic instead of like the old- Yeah. There's a zooming, homing attack. Right. There's a mock state, which kind of resembles the- But they are somewhat similar. The blast button. You're looking at what is essentially also Green Hill Zone out in the wide open. Yeah.

With a huge, huge series of pathways to explore and run and loop-de-loops and stuff like that. It looks really nice. This looks like a fun time, too. And it looks like fans are making the Sonic games that Sonic fans want to play. But Sonic Mania still looks pretty dope, and I can't wait for that, too. I hope that that other game they're making with the end of Chaotix going on. The next Modern Sonic game, yeah. I don't know if it's going to, like, whatever that is, I hope it kind of has open environments

that let you do things kind of like this. Because that's something I don't think we ever really got. Because Sonic Generations, no, not Generations, sorry. Sonic Adventure games are still more or less a track. Yeah. I mean, you have a little hub, and then you go to levels that are tracks. Yeah, pretty much. Bully, I highly recommend, I think you'll really enjoy reading over, on a website called TSSZNews.

Okay. Right? It's something Sonic, whatever. Go look at their Sage 2016 series. This is how it's spelled and everything. SAGE 2016 reviews. And Sage is an event where Sonic fan games were all invited to come out and show them off. And I believe they had booths, and it was live and everything.

It stands for Sonic Amateur Games Expo. Okay. It's just fucking Sonic fan games, and it's awesome. So a lot of really cool stuff that comes out of it. What about stuff? Was there anything in particular that actually comes to mind? I mean, nothing super comes to mind because I read through like 40 of them. But just looking at some of the ones that are in front of me, like someone made a fan game based on footage of Mania.

As like to tide themselves over for Mania. And there's some really nice ones. There's this one called Sonic Neo Genesis, where it's like they took the Genesis art and went a step further. There's this awful ROM hack of Sonic 1 that's one of the bad ones. There's this one called Donnie the Chow, where you play as a chow named Donnie, who is apparently... Fuck the chow! He's apparently a Sonic fan meme, but I don't really know. Just lots of really cool games came out of it.

It's worth looking at because as much as Sonic fandom is slated for some of the furry angles that people don't like, and general weirdness, the Sonic indie game making fandom is really strong and robust. And that's where the guys made Freedom Wars. I'm just kidding for all fan art, man. Yeah, sure, absolutely. But it's really, really cool. Yeah, that's the announcement. So the reviews are actually...

Sonic Amateur Games Expo 2016. 420 The Hedgehog Bros. So if you look on the right hand side of the screen, you can see the ones named Reviews Lose. Yeah, okay. So basically, if people go and check out the TSSZ website and look up the Sage 2016 reviews, they take a look at some of the Sonic fan games. And oh, interestingly enough, the most recent one is Green Hill Paradise vs. Sonic Utopia. Look at the date on the article, October 23rd, 2016.

Or which are the exact ones that we just assessed right now. That's where this is all coming from. What's the point of this podcast if fansites are just gonna do our job better? Yeah. Well, you can listen to it while you walk. Oh. So there's a lot of really neat ones. Like, look at that.

That's a... What the fuck? Look at that completely Mode 7 Sonic game. Yeah, there's this game called Sonic Round 7 that looks like it's running Mode 7 style. You're supposed to say it's because of our wonderful personalities or something. What? Yeah. Good joke.

Well, I mean, they come to find out what Jenkins is. Yeah, they do. Yeah. So you make your own Jenkins. I didn't even get into the DMT talk, but it's fine. Oh, you and your fucking DMT. More like Joe Rogan's podcast shit. Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan shit, you know.

But it's fine. The presence is benevolent. Fuck off. Fuck off, Joe Rogan. You've gone crazy with the drugs. Yeah, that dude could beat up UFC people, though. Yeah, I'm sure. You can say whatever the fuck he wants, man.

Yeah. GSP, did you heckle me? So with that, let's start taking some letters, shall we? Email time. That's my song. Super best friendcast at gmail.com. No, keep it going, keep it going. Email time is here.

That's my song. Fuck it. All right. That's it? That's all. Dude, I am not a singer. That's all we get. I'm not a songwriter even.

You're not a rapper? I'm not a rapper. I looked you up and I saw that you animate stuff. It says you live in Montreal and you animate. And he's done some really cool work with claymation. It's very impressive. I think people know you for that. All right.

Well, anyway. That guy doesn't put out an hour of video a day. No, he doesn't. Because he makes good content. Instead of just shitting in front of a camera. Oh, here's the poop. It's coming out. It's how you make Jen come in front of me.

There it goes. Right into the bottle. Naya. We got one coming in from Justin. And Justin wants to know there's their super super spoopy paps. Sounds like this email is Justin time. Yeah. Time spent gaming.

We know that you spend the week's portion of the podcast discussing what new things you've been up to and so on and so forth. But I wonder if there's anything that you regularly play that you just don't talk about to save time. For example, Pat was talking about like SFV. Like there's going to be nothing else in his life to play. But you mainly talk about FF 14 and such. Is it something that you're just playing regularly in the background that you just

don't bring up on the podcast? Or do you guys usually, I guess, just cover what you actually do? I completely fell off the Street Fighter 5 wagon. I don't know why either. I can't say I have like a really regular one right now, but I'll often go back through games I've finished or just to clean up like side quests and stuff like that. And there's a lot of them. Like I actually, for a period a few weeks ago, I was cleaning up Assassin's Creed Syndicate,

which I finished 100% and I really enjoyed. And I think I actually did speak about it, but the Evil Within stuff I also cleaned up recently. And yeah, not all of it's interesting. I talked about the Evil Within DLC where you play the Executioner. That's fucking awesome. But the Assassin's Creed cleanup was like, yeah, usually I'll just be cleaning up games rather than having a regular.

I can definitely say that there's stuff that I usually read or watch or in the process of going through that I don't bring up. Yeah, reading and watching too, absolutely. Like I bought, there's a comic that's like, it's a adaptations of Franz Kafka short stories in comic form and it's really fucking dope, but I'm in the middle of reading it. There's only so many times I can say I'm watching Lush underground and it's amazing. Or whatever the case may be, you know what I mean? So we kind of, I guess, just won't wait till we're done with something.

The ultimate one is like, I mean JoJo comes out every week and it's great. Yeah, we rarely, if ever, talk about it because it's great. That's straight cat up. What was it? Fantastic. I think, was it Persona when I was in the middle playing it where I just would go, still playing Persona? Still the best thing ever?

Anyway. Something like that. You know, or whatever. But it was just like, yeah, nothing else to say. It continues to be awesome, you know? Yeah, that's why I only talk about FF14 the day the patch comes out or the week the patch comes out because that's my FF14 life for the next four months or so. Yeah, that is something that does happen, yes.

Just assume Matt is always watching a shitty horror movie. Isaiah says, dress with best friends. I'll keep this short. I'm a musician. I frequent an open mic. I met four girls there who are really into my songs. They all live together together and invited me over to one of their houses to watch Game of Thrones, which is code for Giggity Giggity.

They fed me cookies before the show, which were actually spiked with weed and since I'm a smaller man and inexperienced with drugs and such, I was very anxious. This is a great question. Two episodes in, I ended up weirding out everybody with my tripped out awkwardness to the point where they made me sleep on the couch while they all slept in huge California king beds where my spot was taken by the family dog. Is this a fail that bests Woolies? Love the podcast.

Keep it up. That's fine. That's really funny. Really bad. And you have the rough de facto in of being an actual musician. That's the point I was going to make where I was like, the fact that he's a musician means that, yeah, that's worse because you have that in you're supposed to be and you're not used to weed.

But at the same time, it also vindicates because he can just go do it again the next night. Oh, there is some more else. PS, I hate you. Yeah. And he knows how to like flip his hair and do that perfect little twang. Well, my friend, my friend, we used to play guitar like he used to say is like, it's all about when you start doing the maroon five, like hitting of the guitar. Like you got to play and then slap it to really get soulful and look at that person in the

crowd and pull them in. It's like, yeah, that's what it is. It's the fact that you're a musician. Man, I hate cool people so much. Like what if I was a xylophoneist? No, what if Isaiah was a bald xylophoneist? Or a floutist? This was his one chance.

Yeah. Yeah. No, unfortunately, he tripped out and fucked up. But I'll tell you what, the family dog, that's the real champion of this story. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You got the bed. Everybody loves family dog.

He's great. He's got the rover with the fucking deal with it and the like. Yeah, exactly. Surrounded. Anyways. Yeah. Good job, Isaiah. You fucked up.

Bravery on blowing your own balls out on stream for no reason. No, you have to. That braves. No, dude, it's for the story. You always do it for the story. It's worth it. Yeah. Always.

Like when you're in the middle of one of your life's greatest failures, you have to keep it going even further down the road for the story. Because I think people, you remember you and define you by your family. Yeah. I have that outer body experience where I see myself telling this later and go like, No, I'm not. I'm not going to. I'm not going to.

I'm not going to tell the story, but it's like that time I almost got killed by that Nazi drug dealer. You remember that story, Willie? Uh, vaguely not really. Is that close to the time you almost shit your pants? No. No. Those were different times.

Well, I almost shit my pants near constantly. It's a constant fear. Every time you have to go to the bathroom, that's you almost shitting your pants. Amazon, you have a service that lets you like order recurring household items. Yeah, that's right. You can get that for adult diapers. That's possible. No, I know adult diaper.

You still shit your pants. It's an easier. It's an easier fix afterwards, but it's like, it's okay. Like if you're old, it's okay because you can shit your pants all day. If you're old, who gives a fuck? You're old. You know what he does. Liam, what was your first anime shirt?

Radioactive spider, but you want to know anime shirt. That's good. That's a good one. That's actually really difficult to answer as well. Not that it's not. Did you get a black Goku shirt? No, not at all. I mean, because everyone did, I had one of those fake silk shirts.

I was hoping you'd go there. That's not actually anime, but everyone had one of those. You had one of those. I had a couple of those. And for when you're feeling real dressy. Yeah. The first one I had was Hansel from Samurai Showdown doing a cool thing with his cape. Right.

I had like a Chinese Saiyan knock off. Okay. That was all that was around. I am so glad I never had one of those. Dude, they were cool. Not too late. They were cool. They're probably still cool.

But only to other people wearing those shirts. Yeah, yeah. But when you saw each other, you nodded. It was like, what up warrior? Exactly. You travel this earth too. Excuse me. Like actual anime shirt?

I don't know. That's tough. I honestly don't know if I know the answer, but I would count that. Sulk shirts were dope. All right. That's fair enough. They were just waiting to come back. You guys are human garbage.

I have a shirt now that has the nerve logo on it. Mm-hmm. But instead of nerve, it just says pizza. That's good. I like that. I like that shirt. Who hates pizza? I've worn it so many times.

I hate pizza. And nobody's, you guys have never said anything about it. Oh, if you heard that, I dislike pizza in general. You get crazy. The world. Yeah. Pat's crazy. Yeah.

Pizza's fine, I guess. Dearhorseporn.com support team. Thank you. That. How can I help you with your account today? That just created the best realization in my mind. The people that are doing customer support for bestiality porn sites. I have a friend who does customer support for various payment methods at various porn websites, right?

Many of us. We in the QA industry have friends that are in that business. Ironically, not from QA, but yeah, we know a lot. And he often goes possibly against NDA and posts his chat logs direct in places where I can see them. And there's some fucking good times in there. There's some nasty times, but there's some good times. Like, how can I use my fucking card from Build-A-Bear on browsers? How can I transfer this Build-A-Bear credit to browsers?

How can I do this? Yep. You can't. That's bullshit. He could. Oh, yeah. It's a wonderful world we live in. If you had Lucio's music tech, what songs would you use for speed-up and healing?

Speed-up? Yeah. Okay. Speed-up, I would use any Bone Thugs and Harmony songs. And you just sound blast them around you. Or Twista. Yeah. One of those two.

Either that or like the Sonic you're going to drown music, maybe. That's terrible. For speed-up, really? For speed-up. Because Lucio's speed-up, there's no end, like, inside. It just kind of speeds up. No. Well, the end is one of the cool ones.

I was going to say, you're just making your teams panic. Yeah, everybody panics. And for healing, fix you by a fucking Cold Player or whatever. I will fix you. There. That's what you got. All right. I'm going to go with Saber Dance on speed-up.

Saber Dance is a good pick. And I'm going to go with, uh, fucking... Oh, what's that track? I can't remember it. I'm going to go with my own voice. Going do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Forever for healing. Can you do a clean version of that for everybody?

Yes. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Thank you. There you go. There's your ringtone, fuckers.

All right. Sword Dance is a really good pick. For speed-up? Absolutely. Like, it's fucking speed-up. I like F-Zero music. F-Zero music is bad because you speed up too much. When your team goes too fast.

That's bad. That's not good. I miss the old group, says Sam. It feels like just weeks ago you'd all go do live streams from Wally's house. Now you've got a big fancy office. I miss when you did it for the love and weren't so corporate. I mean, it's obvious that Matt got married just to appeal to couples. Matt got a cat to try and become more more of a single female demographic.

It all feels so forced, you guys. Wait, is cat good for a single female demographic? Is that- Well, isn't that what, like, the fucking internet is? Like, as a whole now? Well, yeah, but the internet can't all be single female women. If that was the case, the internet would be very different. That's true.

Like, fucking, those ads would be true. That's all he has to say. Good question. Yep. Almost my son. Yeah, no. We're your corporate overlords now. Please buy us a town in southern America.

You know what the best part about this office is? That completely wiped and cleaned computer over there. We can record on that none of us have to use for our lives. That's pretty good. That's easily the best part. Hey, Jair says, what's your favorite one-off character from a franchise? His example was that in Soul Calibur 4, there was a character named Kamikiri Muzy, which was, I guess, one of the mega characters.

Is she the one with two katanas? She was the one that had, like, a sword and some beads and stuff like that. I don't remember that. It's gone. It's gone. You've scrolled to a new email by mistake. And I think that basically- Your private emails have been posted online.

But I think that basically, like, yeah, I think- Oh, that'd be hilarious. Just the other day, we were talking about Zasalamel. Yeah. And how, like, he only showed up in three. So that's a cool character that only gets in there once. I absolutely got some. Adam from Streets of Ridge, who's in the first one.

Oh, the Roboman. No, the regular man. You're thinking of Xan. Yeah, I am thinking of Xan. Adam only ever appears kidnapped in Streets of Ridge after the fact. He's never playable ever again after the first game, which I guess he does appear, but not really. And from Golden Axe, Revenge of Deathadder,

the Centaur playable character, whose name I forget. She was really cool. Centaur. No, she had a different name. Yeah, she was cool. Yeah, I liked her. Lots of Fire Emblem characters. So many Fire Emblem characters who just don't have other games.

I'm going to go with Nero from Devil May Cry 4. Yeah. That's so depressing. One off by default. Yeah. That's so depressing. Oh, it hurts myself. Fuck me.

Yeah. If I can't do that, then I'll go with Lady from Devil May Cry 2. No. No, wait, she came back. She comes back. I forgot she came back. Yeah, that's Nero. All right.

God, that's... Prove me wrong, Capcom! But if you do want to see... This is a pretty cool character from S.C.O.L.C.O.D. before as manga characters. Because those characters are mean. I remember them all being trash, actually. But this one, again, it's Kamikiri Muzi. I liked them enough, but I never played it.

You can Google that for a look. I will not. Okay. I will. Great. Dear three men and a baby, I'd like to bring up... Wait, who's the baby? Well...

I'd like to bring up the topic of spoilers and how they relate to people getting into new media. Cool. Thank God Matt's not here. Recently I've been attempting to get my friends into a book series I've been chowing down on for many years. It happens to have a lot of entries and there's a running plot to digest. To get my friends into it, I've let loose a couple of spoilers and developments that

I thought would pique their interest. But one of them was really, was rather major. What is the point at which spoilers are acceptable when you're trying to woo new fans in or is letting loose spoilers even acceptable at all? You're 100% sure that they are never going to encounter it unless you... Yeah, that's the only situation where I think it's... If you are 100% sure that they are not going to watch the thing you're talking about or read it or whatever.

Some people, such as my friends, won't touch a piece of media if they don't have the general gist of what they're in for. Those people are assholes. But they exist. It's no more important to keep the initial experience pure or even if it turns away, people can... I have been personally spoiled and I've spoiled myself on a couple things to see if it's worth watching because I want to see like, okay, everybody says this is crazy.

What's so crazy about it? Oh, that's pretty nuts. I should find out what that's about. And I've done that to friends of mine. The other thing that I've done to friends of mine is that I've created thematically appropriate spoilers that are complete lies. And then they finish the series and they go, how come that didn't happen? It's because I'm a liar.

Okay. Because I didn't tell you the truth. What I always try to do is, if I want someone to play something, provide it to them, put it in front of them, try to make it as hard as possible for them to not have a reason to not play it. Like, I think I just jammed my PS4 in Woolie's apartment when Transistor came out. Yeah. I didn't say anything.

I just said, you've got to play Transistor here, borrow my PS4. Turns out it was one of my favorite games ever made. Yeah. How about that? I would much rather do that than tell Woolie any of the contents of it. It's different for each person. Exactly. Some people just...

You have to know who you're dealing with. Some people who aren't receptive to playing new things. Well, first they're garbage. Yeah, I don't see the world that way. It's tough. Well, I think, Woolie, let me know if this is what kicked off your spoiler culture like aversion thing, because you're really intense about it. I remember you told me what the first thing you ever heard about Evangelion was.

That's why. Ouch. The first thing that this guy ever heard about Evangelion is the core plot twist of Evangelion. This was the first time. Which was the nature of an Evangelion. And is that why? Is that the start of it? Dude, you have to watch this cool new anime called Evangelion.

The dude's blank is his blank. Yeah. And I was like, that is really weird. And feels important. Should I know that? And he's like, yeah, don't worry about it. It's fine. It's not important.

But yes, absolutely was the kickoff. Because, you know, things from then on. And then after that is when I started actually consuming things where spoilers mattered. Yeah. You know, because spoiling a random TV show that came on every week was like, you know, well, you missed the episode, whatever. Catch it. I don't know.

Bob tricked Megabyte. Yeah. So, yeah. The dude's wife is his arm. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

That game's fucking stupid. Dare best. Puppersnuffers. No, that's terrible. No, that's great. Code Veronica. X. Why is it cracking me up?

It's so stupid. It's Veronica X. It came with the Devil May Cry demo. Crackdown was bundled. Access to Halo 3 multiplayer. What's your favorite instance of a game getting a demo that has nothing to do with your... Zone of the Enders and Metal Gear Solid 2. Zone of the Enders and Metal Gear Rising Revengeance as well.

Oh, yeah. You mean the games that might be in the same universe? Raiden. Come on. Dude, Raiden and Zoey are stitched together at the hip. They're very close in time. Like... Very close.

It's nuts. You're basically piloting an orbital frame named Raiden. Yeah. But seriously, every time Raiden gets a game... Yeah. Zoey... Zoey is the delivery method for Raiden's demo. God, I...

Maybe... What the fuck game is it that has a trailer for Soul Plane on it? For Soul Plane? It's not a demo, but it's like, was it Def Jam 1? No idea. No. I'm gonna... I feel like there was a game I owned where you go watch a really compressed trailer for

Soul Plane. And I'm gonna give shout-outs to... Anyway. Parasite Eve and Brave Fencer Musashi. I didn't... For including a demo of Xenogir's and Final Fantasy VIII in them, respectively. Yeah. With special shout-outs to that Xenogir's demo, because that Xenogir's demo was a unique piece

of content that doesn't exist elsewhere, in which early on in the... It's the start of the game and early on in the first dungeon, characters from much later in the game show up. Just start showing up. And they go, they goes, what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here until later. He goes, oh, whatever, it's a demo, shut up. And they have a more advanced version of the battle system.

Yeah. Dragon Quest VIII also came with Final Fantasy XII, right? I think? I think that was how it was. I think one of them came with the other, but I'm not sure which one it was. It might have been, but I think I have that the right way around, but I might have that backwards. Dragon Quest VIII with Final Fantasy XII demo?

Yeah. I think that was what it was. Possible. And I really dug the Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time master quest. Yeah, that was cool. Slash Wind Waker demo that kind of came together. That was cool. Because I don't believe you could get that Wind Waker demo without getting the master

quest disc, even though they weren't on the same disc. I always mix up that disc and the other collection disc that came out. Yeah, the 20th, not 20th. Whatever anniversary disc. Whatever anniversary for Nintendo Power and yeah. Yeah, that one had a Wind Waker demo on it too, didn't it? I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah, it did. Where you had Outside Island and nothing else, I think. As opposed to the... Which was, I think it was the same one. Same demo. No, the first demo, wasn't the first demo where you're going through the fucking Moblin castle? Yeah, the Forsaken Fortress.

Yeah. That was the demo. Maybe so. I haven't played it in a long time. I've never asked this question to you guys. Am I crazy or is that Moblin dungeon at the very beginning of, I don't know. I'm talking weird. At the very beginning of Wind Waker, kind of terrible.

The layout's a little confusing. Because I had a miserable time playing through that level. The layout's a little bit confusing. And I also remember kind of getting a little lost in it. I remember not being used to the stealth. But I thought it was fine in the end. Yeah, the stealth wasn't really. But stealth in a non-stealth game is always a bit wonky.

Don't do it. Yeah, well then they never did it again. Until Breath of the Wild. Skyward Sword. That's the joke. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, Skyward Sword had a bunch of stealth. I didn't.

Why? Attention Castle Super Beast from James. That's the name of this office. That's correct. By the way. Castle Super Beast. I love the Halo games. I love the story from the books even more.

It's so much more fun to read about the tactics used in space battles and the interactions between John and the other Spartans and so on. Is there a series for which you enjoy the expanded universe more than the source material? Not more than the source material, but I really enjoyed the expanded universe for Dead Space and for Near slash Drake. Dead Space's expanded universe was, it should have been garbage, but it's actually pretty high quality. Yeah. I didn't like it more than the games, but it adds.

And I like the animes. Is our co-tour one and two expanded universe? They have to be. Yeah. Then those two, I like better than any Star Wars movie. But on the other hand. Easy. Everything that's not the original trilogy, the new trilogy and Rebels is now considered

like. Not canon. Star Wars is kind of. So a co-tour one and two. Star Wars is kind of a big, a big easy one to pick from. Yeah. Well, they clean slated the fuck out of it. Yeah.

They slashed and burns, man. All your favorite, all your favorite Twilex right out of existence. I don't know. They got their sex things on their face. Where the extra, where the extra shit is better. I couldn't, I couldn't say better. If Matt was here, I'm sure he would be talking about some fucking. Killer instinct stuff.

The matrix stuff about what's her face or kid is way better. Or kid story. Yeah, you're right. Well, the end of the matrix was fantastic. The matrix has a lot of stuff. The matrix expanded universe is better than those, than the movies. And because. Better than why they wound up.

Because that's, because the first movie is great. And then the two and three are trash. And a matrix school though. Like by, but because you're hitting 33% there on your movies. By nature, the expanded takes, takes the top spot. Hey, that matrix one's a pretty good movie. There's also the philosophy of the matrix. There's like all kinds of other stuff that came out.

That's worth it. Yeah, that's, that's the stand out to me, I guess. That first one's really good. All right. What is going on? What's coming up? What's going out? What's going out is the shit storm will continue until the 31st.

I believe that's how that works. I think all series continue. Castlevania is. Well, all the crown may continue. Castlevania is back today, Monday, from its little recording hiatus that we had. Because our El Gato became cursed. Pat exercised the curse. EU, EU examples.

Gundam seed. Moving along. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Good pick. Good pick. Stargazer.

Stargazer. The number one. Everything, everything. Everything continues. Nothing. Nothing too special, I think. Nope. Oh, the Dark Souls three stuff will happen at some point.

I don't know when we're going to start that. And we will be using the PS4 because at some point between when I said we would do it on PC and now Namco Bandai and from self got really aggressive about cheating. So that PC character is not ready. So we're just going to use good old Lucky Ted, Patron 4000. Yeah. There is an LP that Matt and I did that will be coming up after whatever finishes next. Yeah.

Oh, cool. Really? So that's going to be a good time. And the nature of the Koopy gets deeper. Deep Koopies. And continues. We have some problems we have to fix. Yeah.

We have to sort out some issues. Yeah. But in Portland, someone gave me. Hey, nice. Someone gave me. Can I see that? The Omicron, the Nomad Soul. Strategy guide.

By Prima or is that Brady games? I just got it in my hands, Pat. It's Prima Brady games, but I want to touch it. No, I want to look at the ending. Who makes that shit? It's Prima. There you go. Brady games.

We got the official guidebook. So that might be a blessing, but it might be a curse. Struggling with that stupid FAQ was kind of a part of the charm. Oh, wow. They have the full translations for the gibberish language, though. Wow. I didn't even see that. So yeah.

Yeah. How are we going to fix that tech problem? I don't know. I don't know. But if this LP does. We'll have to. We'll start over from an earlier save. Right.

That makes sense. And try to just try overcome. So what? It's going to be me and you. We're just just trying to beat it. There's we're going to like you're going to have to take a session's worth of time. Just just to just try. I'm not doing it by myself.

Okay. Well, that's fine. Because because dude, that's fine. But yeah, I need someone to yell at anything. Good in there, Liam. Anything good in there? And there's certainly an ending. Okay.

Well, we now have a guidebook. This notice guidebook seems reliable, though. That's for sure. Well, it's made out of paper. You know, it's not reliable. The fucking game. It's based on. Yeah.

Wow. All right. All right. So what's coming out? A lot. What's coming out? World of Final Fantasy. What is that out on?

World of Final Fantasy. Yeah. PS4 Vita. Okay. God, there is a lot. Give Titanfall to your energy. Titanfall 2. I will play that.

It deserves it. It fucking the first one was such a good game, but it was made. It didn't do well by circumstance this time around. I hope that doesn't. Well, I'm going to add you to my friends list on origin. All right. Send me your info or whatever. Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2, which Matt will probably play.

Yeah. Skyrim who cares. I'm going to download. I get it for free. So. A really cool. When was Pokemon come out? Pokemon?

Pokemon Sun and Moon? No. When does that happen? Not this week. Liam, can we? A really cool indie game called Exiles End. Okay. Liam, I want you to sidetrack what you're talking about now and redo the rant you had about

Pokemon that you said to me yesterday. Sorry. About the Switch and the 3DS and Pokemon. I wish Game Freak wasn't so behind because I would love to play Pokemon Sun and Moon because it's really great and the demo is really great. And it's nice how forward thinking and new and fresh this game is. But it sucks that they're doing this thing again where they're releasing on the previous hardware right as the other hardware is coming out.

The timing is bad. They did it before. They did it before with Black, Black, White 2. To be fair, they've been working on it for a while, but they probably should have been working on the dev kits. What? They didn't know? No, no, no, no.

Not that. Not that. But the time it would take to make the next gen proper console Pokemon game that we never got, that we have to get now. That we have to get now. I get it. I really get it. It's more time than it would have taken to use X and Y and such as engines.

You run the demo in Citra, the 3DS emulator, and you're like, oh, it looks fine. Guess what? This game upscales great. Just port it. Design. Just do it. No, no, no. The first Pokemon game on Switch has to be a fucking console Pokemon game.

No, it's going to be eight spin-offs before we get the mainline one as usual. Four years away. It sucks. I get it. There's a huge 3DS install base. Yeah? We're talking about Nintendo. God.

I get it. There's a huge install base. You want to sell millions of units, and you're not going to sell quite as much on Switch. But like fucking, please announce Emerald for Switch, because I would like that. Okay. I would like that. That'd be nice. I agree with Liam.

I would like that. Hey, Liam, the Switch means the new era of Pat and Liam agreeing on stuff. Yeah, it does. What an awful time. Or a primary thing that we disagree about. It says complete non-factoring. Hard-fast rule that I'm baking right now. No bringing the Switch into the podcast room and playing it while we're doing a podcast.

I would never. It's November 18th, by the way. I think that that podcast that I played Monster Hunter on for the entire podcast worked out fine. Nope. Which one was that again? I don't remember. But that's the point.

There was one on the... I suppose that's the fact that we don't remember is the point. I'm pissed. It's not great. I'm not happy with that, but... All right. So when the Annex comes out, putting money on the table, Woolly will be the first person in here playing the Switch.

Motherfucker. Entering the podcast. Assuming I'm not talking into a mic with my res headset on, just fucking looking around, talking like, yeah, so what's on the docket this week? Yeah, anyway. Oh, god damn it. That just depressed me again. Okay.

Actual rule. One day you will get the rent. Actual for real rule. If you take the work switch into that bathroom, you bought it. Period. That's fine. That's a fair rule. I'm okay with that.

Don't switch and shit. I mean, don't shit and switch. Like, I'm not afraid of the air shit particles like you are, but your hands being back on the device after a while is the real thing. Yeah, that's right. As long as you don't wipe. As long as you don't wipe. As long as you don't wipe.

As long as you don't wipe. Okay. If you confirm with visual evidence that your asshole is still paired with shit. Well, you look at the reflection of the switch. No, you have the other person. No, don't. What the fuck is that? No, the other guy gets the gloves on and checks.

Okay. Then you didn't buy it. No, here's what you do. If you want to play the switch in the bathroom, you go, I'm taking a shit. And then you stand up and you call Matt or whoever, and then they come and wipe your ass. I'm vet my asshole. Okay.

Okay. So it's or smarter. They take the switch away from you. It's the shit and switch policy. Yeah. We're putting it in. All right. Yeah.

Sounds good. Don't do this. Okay. We can't act. I mean, well, Matt is not here. So like we can't like, you know, confirm. We can't sign the. We can't do the.

All hands in. Yeah. I'm sure he'll agree to this. All right. Sounds good. Sounds good. Um, here do enjoy. Some extra material in the form of Portland adventures.

It's like another hour. Take it. Take it. It's going to be a long one. Take it away. Matt and the blackface boys. What's this about selling socks to people on the streets? Damn it, George.

You can have entire minutes of entertainment with a pair of George socks. You see, look, you can like stretch my. You don't have to tell us, man. You've been trying this all weekend. I bought them already. What is it? I didn't buy them. It's from a lot being allowed to have them apparently.

You're not banned. I try. I'm not. Socks are coming back. Well, I'm like, you know, I'm like, Hey, I'm going to Portland and I'm going to be hanging out with my friends and maybe George is going to have a pair of George socks. Maybe George got it. Say this.

There's like, there's no way he's coming with no George socks, but you have. In fact, no George socks. He has a pair for himself. The company doesn't sell you a big box of socks that you then sell other people. Sorry, what? The company you work for rather than you, Tony. What what they do is, is basically have you like pimp these socks out that you send in a anyone else board.

Yeah. How about that? Hey, what's up? Voice. What's up? Hey, Matt. Yes. You're here in Portland.

So you're not with us back in Montreal at this exact moment. This is crazy temporal. It's really nuts. Placement. But this is not even mad. This is the voice of Matt coming through a digital MP3 file. Yes, true. We're also joined by the voice of Emmy Knightley coming through a digital MP3 file.

Hello. And the voice of Austin. Hello. You're not a rupture anymore, are you? No, I'm not. I'm Austin. So what's the new rebrand? And the rebrand we are doing at George socks.

Okay. Arcadia George socks. Arcadia George. Arcadia. All right. And then we have super buddy hop. I'm I will say your name correctly. Salesman.

Internet entrepreneur. Yes. Personal trainer. I won't replace each word in super buddy hop with other alternative words that somehow turn into like not at all jump related words, but like if you ran out, these related words. No, it was super buddy farts because a farted, propelled you. Sure. But what are you?

Okay. But then where does mega hamster dumps even remotely? I don't know. I'm sorry. It's like it's an honor to once again be here on the sub part, but buddies. That's dumbcast. That's like overselling it. Really?

I like dumbcast. Can we change your name to dumbcast? Easily. No heartbeat. iTunes is free with that shit. Oh man. That conversation we had in that fucking Uber last night that was super dumb that we're laughing really hard at.

That's dumb. Yeah, we'll get there. I'm sure we can talk about that. Speaking of Uber, can we give a shout out to Ahmed? Just briefly. Have you guys met Ahmed? Yeah. Okay.

It's just a brief thing. I just need to give a shout out while it's fresh off the memory to Uber driver Ahmed, licensed plate Ahmed. Yeah. Literally. Really? Yes. The photo of Ahmed is just his vehicle, his SUV, and then his SUV pulls up and it's

got a licensed plate saying Ahmed and you're like, is that him? And then the flashing Uber logo on the dashboard says yes, it is. You get in. He's got music blasting. He's got a disco ball spinning. He's got with like the green, right, red, like little dots, you know, when they fly around. Right.

Kind of a bit. Yeah. And he's DJing and he's spinning up to his friend. There's a video. There's a video playing as well. Yes. With the music. Of the music video.

And it was a fantastic time. And Ahmed was the best Uber driver I've ever had. Didn't want to get out. We really didn't. And the ride was like what? Like eight minutes? Maybe less? Barely.

And we didn't want to leave. There's a music video and a half. We ended on JT. We're tired in real life. JT is doing it. It was great. So when we went to your place, George, when we went to Atlanta, we, leaving actually, we got, we got an Uber driver that had his navigation like system in auto tune.

So it went like. Yeah. Go into the next ride. Yeah. T-Pain had a, had a navigation voice deal going on for a while. Why would they have that? That's what it was. Instead of George Socks.

Oh, he's working on it. Because you see what I, what I aim to do as a provider is sell merchandise that people can use. Oh my God. So George Socks are a, are a nifty utility. You can, you can protect your feet. They are a layer. Austin, the dream of the nineties is apparently not alive in Portland.

It's not. No, it's completely dead. Have you been looking around outside this weekend? I have. There's no hipsters. Okay. But here's what's up though. We just got back from the bookstore.

Powell's. Yeah. Powell's. You were there all day? We were there for a while. Wow. Yeah. You stayed there for a while.

We went, we went to exploring. The bookstore. It was in fact hipster central. And everything I expected to see here in Portland, I did not see until I went to the bookstore. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Right. The scarves came out. The Hasmina Afghans. The, the lobe stretchers. Lobe stretchers, of course. I don't know. It's, it's possible that the hipster aren't hiding. I don't know.

Because the niners are in town. You guys didn't go to the Lovecraft bar. I'm going tomorrow. People, if you're listening out there, Portland has a Lovecraft themed bar. The dream of the 80s was a Lovecraft bar. Yeah. Because you walk in and it's really dark and smoky and foggy. And one line is like, one wall is completely covered in little Victorian era portraits

of creepy black and white people. Yeah. Um, wait. Can I get up? So, there was, there was a live, there was live entertainment happening on the floor of the Lovecraft bar. And the live entertainment was a man in a white suit and a black fedora whose face was covered in pantyhose as if he were to rob the place.

He was not there to rob the place. What he was there for was to roll around on the ground and do a like Tom Waits impersonation act where he was singing like hard blues and an extremely raspy voice. Which was normal compared to the moment where he had a lady friend come out with him wearing lingerie and a, and a large like curtain on, on her like bell line below. Until the point where she cast aside the curtain and, and whipped it out, giant like 12 inch long strap on dildo. Okay.

And, and this, this man like, like not Tom Waits gets down on his arms and knees and sings into his lady friend's strap on. Like a mic. Right. There might have been a secret mic hidden in her educational harness. That's what they call them in Texas, right? Right, right. Yeah.

Educational harness. Speaking of dildos in Texas. Yeah. Did you know? They don't exist in Texas. They banned them. Yeah. It is illegal to own more than seven dildos.

More than seven. More than seven. Oh shit. I can't live in Texas. Yeah. I'm going to have to put a call into my, my warehouse of dildos I keep in Texas. We got to move. George dildos.

George dildos. George dildos. Dildos. Dildos. Dildos. Dildos. And like initially you might think that's just a George themed dildo, but it's not. It's actually George's head.

Just stamped on a dildo. Just stamped on to a dildo. That's correct. And if you said dildo, it has like a voice cup that says, this isn't as good as it was in Japan. George, I've been waiting a very long time to ask you this question, so we were on a platform where people would hear me ask you this. No pressure.

I'm not going to ask you to marry me. Trust me. I'm going to marry Scribd though. Yeah, you are going to marry Scribd. It's a good hustle. Whenever you have a video that doesn't perform as well as another, okay, is it a super bunny flop? It's almost a little bunny flop.

You know, like occasionally the E3 video happens. Occasionally the Bloodborne DLC happens. That's just a little bunny flop. Bunny's flop. Like generally. You can't hop all the time perfectly. If you've got to hop once per week, I mean some weeks are going to be less high than others.

Well, it's not really super at that point. It's just a normal bunny flop. The bunny hops are like a really mundane, ordinary thing at this point. They're more like normal bunny hops. You've got to rebrand, dude. You've got to have normal bunny hop. You've got to get Satch to design you a fancy graphic design logo. Get that there.

It's like bunny hop. It's okay. I already did. Satch did the logo. Oh, yeah. Okay. Wait, you're redoing. Not the Metal Gear.

Yeah, the Metal Gear one. Oh, my shit. He's the guy who made the like rat thing that everyone hates so much. He's the guy who made the like rat thing that everyone hates so much. He's the guy who made the like rat thing that everyone hates so much. What the fuck? I'm not asking you to do that. He made the joke about rebranding Arcadia, but then apparently he literally also did

what they did. Yeah, we got Satch to design. Well, shit. He needs to design our whatever logo that we have. Have you seen his shirt? I bought Satch's shirt this weekend. It was pretty nice. Speaking of which, this weekend equals right now, equals the Portland Retro Expo Game also

called... Portland Retro Gaming Expo. Expo. Expo Z. I put the words in the wrong order. What's the correct order? The purge. The purge.

The purge. The purge. We are in the middle of the purge. We are hiding out. That's purge. And it's approximately 3.30 in the morning. Yeah. I have not actually spent a ton of time there, but the dealer's room and the arcade room.

It's not 3.30 in the morning, George. 9.46. We still got time. Yeah. You can get back to the party. We'll be back to the party. But you have to get a party before the sirens go off. Yeah.

You're a lock it up. Yeah. It's an election year, so. Anyway. I'll talk about that really briefly. I'll talk about that really briefly. Purge election year. Because I watched that.

I watched that. Oh, Jesus. Well, but PGRE is a small, but actually medium-sized, I guess I'd call it. It's getting a lot bigger. Medium. It's not big. It's not big, but it's bigger than too many games. It's smaller than Magfest, way smaller.

So the three of you weren't here last year, right? No. Oh, it's your first time. First time in Portland, ever. Yeah. And as far as attendance goes, it's like, it has to be like 40% more. I think very little. I was like, it was the same.

There's so many more people. I'm footer. They were like, we have like 300 exhibitors. I was like, oh, it's going to be huge. I'm like, oh, it's the same as X-Pace we had last year, actually. Yeah, but there's just more people, and the games are more expensive. We're ruining it. No, it's very elephant.

Were there kids at the free play? I didn't. They were, right? Yeah. Okay, because that's a crime if you don't. That's who lived this test. And I do have to say that when we went to EGLX, it was really disappointing that they had arcades inside this convention that were not off free play.

Look, there was some old crusty fuck that's like, I'm not putting this shit on free play. They asked me to show up. They didn't ask me to make the games free. No one told me that. Fuck you. And I was like, really? That guy was from Innsmouth. That was rough.

Yeah, that was not good. Don't do it. Hey, come out, girl. Let's you play my game, sir. You guys are just like 75. Yeah, Fishman operating arcade machines. I see it. I think I love the image of like a Fishman just like flopping into a show floor, like

leaving a trail of slime lines. And in his last like death row, he like pulls a chain and all the arcade games come spilling out the back of a truck and just slide in on his slime. You know what? Third strike. He kept that pristine. He kept that kept up to date. Oh, you guys went to Ground Control, right?

We went to Ground Control. They got third strike at Ground Control. We did play it. It was fun. Yeah. You want to throw IT crowd under the bars? That's so unnecessary, but we went to Ground Control as a Portland arcade that becomes a barcade after five o'clock.

So we had a bit of a fan meet up there and saw some cool people and had some cool fun times with Killer Queen, the 5v5 arcade game made in Portland, for Portland, FPP. But it's basically joust five players with a queen and like four units and it's super fun. And then, but yeah, we ran into some people including a guy that looked like the dude from IT crowd who challenged me to third strike and like we went to go play it, but Matt was on it and I was like, oh, we'll just beat Matt quickly and then I'll play at you. And then Matt bodies him and it's the last game with the perfect and it was like, on

roll. I guess that's not going to happen. And then Willie came on and just beat me and I was like, Willie, I don't think you had anything to fear from IT crowd. But the Ground Control is pretty cool. That's a good arcade. There was a weird moment where I like saw Killer Queen in there, which is something that you usually see at cons, but seeing it in like an actual arcade in the wild, in the environment

it was meant to be in, it's like kind of a comforting sight. But at the same time, it just made me think about how like making an arcade game nowadays means that you only end up at the one arcade in your neighborhood. Yeah. Well, that's kind of depressing. A lot of arcades now, especially if you go to like the ones that are like more mainstream or like successful in malls and stuff like that. Like you're around ones and they're like, oh yeah, here's Flappy Bird's cabinet and you

just go and you have those. Those are real games though. No, shut up. Those are for ghost people. Round one is table flip. Not ghosts. Round one is the Japanese table flip game. Not people.

The Japanese table flip game. Yeah. They have a mix of Japanese imports and then like your ticket games, right? Yeah. I got a soft spot for the ticket games. I'll be real. You're a crazy person. No, go play SkiBall again.

You're a ghost person. Realize your childhood, George. You're a ghost person pretending to be a real ghost. You're a ghost person, but if I'm sitting there playing SkiBall in my ethereal state, that's fine. I did a full LP of table flip. I was not disappointed. It takes like two minutes.

No, no, no, no, no. He did it. I replayed it until I did every stage. I really thought you were going to say SkiBall for a second. No, no, no. I did a full LP of SkiBall. It takes two minutes. I got the 50,000 and the upper left.

It was real, real cool. Just flip the table. It's not the arcade game. But there's different strategy to flipping the table, George. It's such a like one gimmick, gimmick game. Have you played it? But yes. How many times?

Like eight times. And I kept wanting something different to happen. It's not about the flip. It's about the banging. If you have to bang the table at the right time for it. Table flip is the video game version of like Pachinko games. How scary are you? You just press a button and stuff happens.

Are you ready for the Metal Gear Solid table flip game to come out? I'm jumping out the window. I'm next to a conveniently placed window that I can jump out of. Metal Gear Solid table flip game is like, is that like you finish Metal Gear Solid 5 and then you need a table to flip? No, it's just a real life reaction to watching the MGS3 Pachinko trailer. Oh, that's it. I feel like it's just Snake coming out of a box.

God damn it. I need to get on that. What? Patchy fan. What about it? Remember that? Yeah. Fine.

Cause I made the account. Okay. So after that, I'll bring it up here because after the Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater Pachinko game trailer came out, we started joking and coming and we're like, okay, fuck it. Here's the idea. Yeah. You just take existing games and make Pachinko trailers for them and like, like, like games that should never have that like undertale.

Braiding. Braiding. And then you're in the middle of a cutscene, it just zooms out like where the boss is talking to show you the Pachinko borders and we're like upload that trailer to a new YouTube account. Yeah. Called patchyfan underscore JP. And then watch Kotaku take the bait.

So I've registered the account. We got like three days to do this. I've registered the account and this was haven't edited the video yet. What you've got to do is get on Google translate and start having fun making the names of the video. Yes. That you have to be something like the tail down under period, the failure. I'll put money down if those were made, some major news outlet will fall for it and fall

for it hard. Yeah. That feels like it feels like if not Kotaku bait, who can maybe wrap at least someone on NeoGaff into it. Like at least someone from like Polygon will say I've actually played this. Yes. I've played the undertale patchyfan game and I can tell you, yeah, no, it's, it's, I, we got to get that rolling.

It's been too long. Two snacks to make a trailer. I can make a trailer. Yeah, but he'll make it look like a real train. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. The bus. It is my home now. You need to go out and sit on the patio and think about what you just said. I'll just jump out the window. Really, what's the reverse? You see the patches slot borders and it zoops into the footage and it's her story. Is she lying?

Pull the lever to fly back. Pull the lever to fly back. Pull the lever to fly back. Pull the lever to fly back. So when you guys are in Japan. Did you legitimately try to actually play Pachinko? I did not legitimately try it, but I did try to legitimately enter a Pachinko den. Yeah.

Tournament. When you say den, it sounds so ominous. I'm trying to find the right word for it. Really are Pachinko dens. Opium. Opium dens. But like, yeah. Have you been?

No. The doors slide open and you're greeted with noise. No, no smoke. Just the loudest and brightest like noise and sound pollution and like visual pollution as well. You've ever encountered. Like the lights are brighter than anything that you've experienced and the noise is louder than anything you've experienced.

Is it enough to make a man ejaculate? Oh, well, if you spent enough time, I'm not going to open the door and you edge a little bit. You have to put the work in. That's why people are playing Pachinko, man. That's what it's about. It's not edging. What's great is standing outside the doors and noticing that like when it opens, like

you hear it and then it closes and it just gets muffled like instantly, like figured out the soundproofing. And the doors don't open automatically either because if people, if it opened every time someone walked past a motion detector, then there would be like noise complaints 24-7 on the street. They've got these thick ass sliding doors that totally muffled the sound. You've got to press the button to get in and you can't just expect the door to open for you.

No, you've got to work for it. But it's like you get that like hum in your ears like after leaving a concert kind of hum. No, like that's how bad it is. Oh, no. Earplugs. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's how you can tell. Like the regulars in there will actually have earplugs. So I walked in with some earplugs and tried to play Pachinko. And it gets surprisingly complicated. The one that I spent the most time with was DMC patchy slots. And this is like another thing, is that patchy slots are really what's on most of the floors of these places, which are really just slot machines, like actual Pachinko machines. It's not full Pachinko.

Yeah. That's just where the prize grabbers are in arcades are where Pachinko machines are in patchy parlors. So DMC Pachinko slots has actual like combo systems and like extra devil trigger modes that are in a book stapled to the machine. And there's no way in hell I was going to figure any of that out at all. So what I just did was just press buttons and stuff happened. And at one point it like begs you to mash the one single button on the machine and you

just do it and stuff happens. Because in Montreal we have this one arcade that's like last, it's like the last bastion. And it has this prize game that's in the middle that they make sure is the loudest game ever. On loop every minute. They play, ooooooo, ring my bell, they play that fucking song and then you're like, okay what is this? Why is it so loud? You look at it and you're like, oh I can get a DVD if Fast and the Furious 3.

Or a PSP. Or a PSP. I don't respect this one. Is it the one that has the TV out? I don't care. I didn't say a Vita. Yeah, exactly. So it's like the loudest what's an obnoxious thing and you're sort of like all patchy

slots are basically that. All patchy slots are garbage. So that's why you have your guns. They're basically like what they do is they recycle garbage into patchy slot machines. It's really like a self-sustaining economy of garbage. You're a big fan of the word garbage this weekend. I love like the heart of B and the G. It sounds like garbage anatomical.

I know what you mean. I know what you mean but I've become accustomed to and I'm a fan of trash. Trash is good. Because you can really dismiss something by just being like it's fucking trash. Nah man, you say garbage more. I've been saying dumpster. Yeah. You've got that heart of stiffer fires.

You've got that heart of stiffer fires. You know what I mean right? You know letters that have like little curvy semi-circles on them are really good for making the listener feel disgusted. Yeah. Like garbage. Like I've been saying like fuck fire recently. Like this David Cage game we are currently playing is a giant fuck fire.

Shout out to the gentlemen who gave us a Prima games guide for Omicron. They gave us the physical guide which is so helpful. I don't know if that's a good idea or not. I don't know if they can eat what we're currently up against. But we got one of those. I have a very simple question. Why did you decide to play Omicron than not? I decided that.

That is not a simple answer. Simple question. I streamed like two hours of it and I was like this is hilarious. It's exactly the type of David Cage garbage that we want. But then after that it's like oh no. Whether he knows it or not David Cage is our rival to the death. Yeah. And at this point he is the villain of our channel.

We didn't start has he ever officially acknowledged that I don't think he knows we exist. But he knows. I think he's got it. I wouldn't believe it. I don't know. He sees busy like cropping folders together of Z-Bad games of whoever's in his next game exactly. So we dash now.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Okay. This is a reference to the fact that when what's her name Ellen Page was in his game. He approached her by showing her a giant folder he made with pictures of her from childhood till now. That's a light.

Yeah. I'd say I want you to be in my game. It works every time. Look how much I obsessively researched you. That's how you ask girls out in general right. Yeah really. I believe so. That's how it works.

It works for David Gay. Wouldn't it be flattering if someone approached you with childhood photos in the finder. Here's my creep album. I would trust him with my life. There you go. And your video game career. If I was in a coma I'd want him to make the call. That's what's up.

Right. So yeah. David Cage just like we didn't know when we started down this journey that he would become the villain of our channel but here it is. You know and we completed what we call the Sadness Trilogy which is of course Indigo Prophecy and Beyond Two Souls and little did we know that the first game he made the Sadness Zero is Omicron the Nomad Soul. How strong of a villain is someone who doesn't even know of your existence.

The strongest kind of pick on your own terms. Because we can't stop him. Yeah. We can only wait for him to act and then react to what he does. The ultimate villain. Wait do you think he'll ever pull a Vegeta and he'll find out about you guys and then he'll be like your friend. I doubt it.

I really doubt it. Yoshikage Kira just wants to live a normal life. Dio just wants to do his thing then those fucking Joestars just keep getting in the way. But the villains are up to their own devices doing their own thing regardless. Three episodes of Jojo and Dio just keep. Doesn't matter the analogy basically comes down to the fact that whether or not we existed whether or not we were born or aborted David Cage would be David Cage making David Cage games and like and we exist in this world.

We can't beat this force. David Cage has another level he hasn't reached yet though because imagine for one second if you would Detroit in VR. Oh we know that this could be a distinct possibility. This is the best possible. This is a world we can strive for. This is something that can happen. We're currently equipping ourselves and getting ready to fight that battle.

Absolutely. But that's not the next level. The VR troopers. How are you fighting David Cage by like buying David Cage games and promoting David Cage games. Not promotion. Imagine how many more kids know who David Cage is because of your guys this video. Our battles are fought on the mental plane.

I don't know where they're fought. I'm going straight out the window. Okay. When we deal with David Cage LP at the very least hopefully we can spread the idea that this man needs to be defeated. Yeah. Which I mean is like with some with some degree of finality. But okay.

I don't officially acknowledge the existence of MGS3 Pachinko. I've only ever talked about it on podcasts. I like I have have a philosophy of like not feeding trolls. Did you spend money on it when you went to Japan. No. No it wasn't around. Silent Hill Pachinko wasn't around either. Okay.

But Silent Hill Pachinko was something that was so grossly unpopular that they shipped it out as soon as they shipped it in. MGS3 is supposed to be launching I think in if not really soon then Marsh for some reason the back of my mind says March but a fan sent me a picture of a poster he saw at a Pachinko parlor in Japan. It was like hey guys get ready. MGS3 Pachinko is coming out. Do you think Snake Eater plays the whole time.

I would hope so. Did you guys go to karaoke and search for video game music. We didn't. You gotta. He didn't go. I went. Yeah. I went.

I thought I swear I saw a video of you and no no no I went with a girlfriend and Pat went. Yeah okay. That's what it was. Team No Japan over here. You gotta do it. I can't just I can't. The pilgrimage.

I can't justify the flight. Okay so. Unless I get invited to play like the greatest game ever like that I all go insane on that one. Apply to be a guest on the panel. Yeah go ahead. Okay. But like to be perfectly honest like Akihabara would be mildly interesting to you but not

like completely. I know. I already went to a Godzilla con and ran that shit. No. The Love Hotel. Oh that's true. I like went to Japan being like oh I'm George Weidman. I don't care about any stupid weave of garbage.

And like left. That's a great George impression. Thanks dad. He's a weeaboo now. He's been talking to me non-stop. And I like left with this like profound respect for how much artificial surface level happiness they like enforce on the population. Yeah.

I think I get it now. As a man who hates the hype of trade shows that's a pretty pan was much more appealing to me. That's a pretty like impressive and important thing. So there was a moment where I sang Snake Eater karaoke in a karaoke parlor which you've given us permission to use in future LPs or whatever. I want to go back and search for the Katamari music and like Final Fantasy music now that I know video game music exists at this one karaoke parlor in Akihabara I like have to

We took a train from like the middle of nowhere to another stop in the middle of nowhere in the 60 second jingle they used in the train to like get people moving in and out was the Eva main theme. It was like a jingle bell version. That's cool. That's cool. But there's something like there's only a certain percentage of video game music that you can even karaoke because it's like say you're flipping from 100% snake eater.

Yeah. But let's say you're flipping through the book or the digital whatever you're looking for the things is a good. Big man too. All right. Let's go. Everyone do. Do.

Do. Do. Oh, this is right. No, it would be like Lunar two. But the airman's so be really hard stage. Oh, because it would be the best is yet to come. The best is yet to come. Oh my God.

It has to be like I would call it to the night. No, I would do calling to the night in a heartbeat. Like catamari as good ones to catamari catamari is actually my favorite video game soundtrack. So if they did have that, that would be really, really special. The past like three weeks of my life where I was just like milking my vacation for views was like it was the month of my life honest, honest, true. How's Portland in general for you guys? You've been you've been around here before this is the first time my second this is like

my third time here. It's not very different from Washington in terms of like whether you can buy weed here. It feels different to me. Oh, you never shut up about this now. It's wild. You walk in the store and buy weed. That's just legal. I saw you punch that dude out and take his weed.

You don't have to do that here. You just have to store and buy weed. George has turned into a violent criminal. Yeah. Weed. Now that's legal. Weed, weed. You can't even speak.

It's so cool. It's super cool. Super Bunny 420 hops. I think Portland's like I've said to a couple of people so far that's like it's not as outlandish as Portland obviously because that has to be larger than life to get across in a TV show. But it's still like we saw a bunch of bears being made out of wood. Like we won't.

That's a thing. From the airport you take the train into town and the whole time I'm like yo where the hips is that? Where the hips is that though? Right? And like you don't see any. Some guy walks on the metro on the bus, tropes of train whatever with his bike and you're like okay but there's no real hipsters and then we go to the bookstore and that's where

they're hanging out. Yeah. You get the fucking loop earrings. You get like the braids. The book I bought at the bookstore says like forget all that West Anderson-y Portlandia crap. Yeah. This is a real Portland.

I bet Portlandia had like a profound reverse psychology anti-hipster effect. Yeah I think it was. Yeah. Portland was probably way more fun before Portlandia became real. There's all the shame because like this is too real. Yeah. The people that live here have been saying that I did see a keep Portland weird little button at the cash case.

I saw that as well. That's a really popular thing. That's a slogan in Austin. It's Texas as well. Yeah. Austin weird. Austin weird. But no one ever made Austinia so Austin's still weird.

No. I think Austin's weird. Austin's like weird. I love Austin. I don't know if you know have you heard of a normal core or norm core? Norm core? Norm core. Yeah.

No I haven't. Is that serious? It is like it's the counter movement to hipsterdom which is like dressing really plain, really normal, no logos on anything, acting extremely normal, acting like like people from a cartel or something. So imagine like you're from the fifties. Not the fifties. Like modern day JC Penney catalog people.

This sounds like role playing. And like that in itself is an ironic twist on being a hipster. Hey girl. You know what's up as a normal person for me tonight? Yeah. And that is. That's high. That's what becomes cool is acting extremely normal and extremely bland.

Let's go to bed at seven. It's ironic. So it's like. That's weird. I'm so weird that circles back around are completely normal in every way. It circles right back around because being different becomes the norm. So then you listen to Metallica for the first time again. I don't know what you listen to.

Are you sure? Pop music in top 40. An actual real thing like a hundred percent. But where's your reader? So Google search away. I will. Right now. Drop the weed.

Yeah. In my phone. Again. Sorry. Let me just shove all of this weed out of the way. Yeah. But see I was wondering is this an eternal cycle of being a hipster and then becoming normal and then just going in circles forever.

Yeah. You're like you guys are so you guys are such normies. I'm here at the golf course wearing my sweater tied around my shoulders. My cardigan son basically. Right. Okay. We got an urban dictionary result. Okay.

Norm core. Play it on us. It's a unisex fashion trend characterized by unpretentious sensibilities. Normal looking clothing. It's a portmanteau of the words normal and hardcore of course. It first appeared in a webcomic in 2009 later employed by Cahole a trend forecasting group in a report. Yeah.

No. I don't know man. I don't know. You're reading it. Right. It's from an essay in a webcomic. Let's go to the gap. Right.

Basically. It's a George. I don't think you're norm core. I think it is. Because he's got the George socks. No. But that's a logo. You can't be branding like even if you're completely dressed in norm core.

You can't be norm core unless you know about it. That's another thing. It tripped me up on the Google search. It's not normal core. It's norm core. But he knows now. Now. So in the beginning.

You then become it the moment you're self aware. Yeah. George is norm core. It's like Adam and Eve in The Garden of Eden. You can't know. Norm core. Then you become self aware. And that's when the sin shows up.

It could also be that you're really into a guy named Norm. Maybe. Norm core was added to the AP style book in 2016 which means it's a real where you go. What is the AP style? It's what journalists use to correct their spelling. Yeah. To like make sure that X box has like a. Dash.

X. Yeah. No it's actually a capital X and then just box. It's a real thing. It's a precursor effect to the blackface movement that's coming back. No. Do you want me to jump out the window? So we're doing a panel tomorrow right?

Are you doing a panel tomorrow? No. I'm going to be on a plane. I can't get there. I'm made. And by tomorrow you mean yesterday. Which means that we have to make it clear on the public stage that I am George Wiebman and I have never done blackface.

So he says but you can't hear the fact that he's wearing blackface right now. It's not coming to the mic. Okay. So I have. Okay. So like he has a beard. Yeah it does. It makes it like 10 times harder.

Yeah but yeah. Thank you. But he puts in the work. He's found the work around. He puts parts of the beard and he puts parts of the head. The key is recreationally. Okay. But it's shitty.

Why would he do that? I didn't recognize recreational was a synom for shitty. Okay. So I like how it's in here pretend you guys haven't seen it. That's like going to work recreationally. See I like how we came to the point where it was like when does this stop, the madness stops when it gets to the point that people reach out to George online and are like yeah man we support you bring it back.

So I don't know what anyone says. When I hit 35 I'm going to run for president as a joke candidate. Right. Just to giggle at what shit comes up. Yeah. And if this shit comes up I'm going to be a giggly little babby. I mean remember like our streams where we're sitting there we're like. Judging jazz.

No just like over and over. George Weidman jerks off in a water burger bathroom. Fucking for your president. Do you trust this man with the Texas sewage authority? We did this for like an hour straight. Yeah. Like negative political campaign ads. Send them our way please.

Smear campaigns. George Weidman doesn't like Henry Okita as much as Hitomi Tanaka. Is this the man you trust with cop troller? Yes this is a smear campaign. In the same way that he smears blackface all over his face. Yeah I mean that stream we did we like you blackface. I was like really fucked up. I didn't like say anything else.

Why would you do this? I was like awesome that's a little weird but I don't want to say anything. Look I mean basically it's out there now. It's out there now. Octavia and Super Bunny hop together are the blackface boys. Do you have a single fact to back that up? All right. I feel like this is king shaming.

I mean really like okay Matt laughs harder than I've ever seen him in the longest time. Like I can feel my skull splitting down in the middle. We were chopped on the uber home back after we went out for Chinese food. Thanks to Thomas Chuang aka Chuang. What a sweetheart. He's the best. Yeah we all love mom. He sent me a tweet one time that was like him cosplaying Okuyasu from Jojo and Chie from

Hina and he's like hey woolly get you a man that can do both. I was like yeah. That's what you meant at the same time. Yeah me too. No it's just split cosplaying. It's half other way. One half blackface. Yeah.

On the way home we were just we were workshopping and further elaborating on the nature of the blackface boys with a Z and basically we came to the same conclusion where it's a lot like the intro to the cartoon boxmaster. Which is an obscure cartoon and only some people know it. I was telling some fans about it and they were like uh no. They were like well it's a wrap. It's a cool wrap which we know by heart it's a good time if you know it. Put it into YouTube.

You know then it's lost but the idea basically is that it's almost like a Saturday morning cartoon in which you guys wear blackface to power up and defeat the bad guy and you see the key is that when push comes to shove and everything's the day's going bad and you have to save the day you go it's blackface time boys and then you say it but you say it not only to the rest of the crew but to the camera. The kids at home. So the kids at home get their home blackface kit that comes with the action figures and they start rubbing their face in like yeah.

So is this a. Is it a gym? I am not complaining. I am the only one there. Can we just call it George face and schedule? Yeah. We have morpher's and it just happens. No.

Because boxmaster had 3D shades. And you have to wear them because there's certain sequences and action sequences. It's laser time. You put on the 3D shades to watch the 3D action. After we proclaimed that. It's blackface time. After we proclaimed this loudly do we slowly put the makeup on. Yeah.

You grab it. No. Just wait. Not even slowly. You've got the soot right there in your pockets. Fingers go in. Bam. On the face.

And you're super powerful. And you're henshin. You give yourself a nice round. Yeah. You're like full on sailor sentry style henshin. And you sparkly make it. Yeah. But then you reappear and your clothes are the exact same.

That's great. But your face. You have your black face now. And now you're powerful. What about the hens? Are the hens black too? Facts questionable. There's no time.

You don't really have to go in. If you're going full minstrel shows then you're doing the white gloves. But I don't think you need to go back far. I think there's an important distinction. Are we talking about realistic black or are we talking about minstrel? There's different. No. There is.

If you really want to offend people. Then you've got to get a social experiment. See, I didn't bring up the lipstick to get the red. You know what I mean? That's the details. That's the whole other element. The devil's in the details. We're avoiding that.

We're keeping it light. We're keeping it nice. You don't want to get too offensive by involving lipstick in white gloves. You got to back it off a little bit. You just the black on the face. We're black facing sailor sentry. It's what's happening and that's how you save the day. Don't make it weird.

This makes zero percent sense. But it's 100% truth. Are we a powerful vehicle? Are the vehicles black faced? I can't drink. I can't drink anything right now. The vehicles don't have faces. There's action figures.

That's what you would think. Okay, there's action figures. They come with little containers of ash in them. It says what to do with these containers. But it's recommended for ages. They ship with the product and that's all we know. It's recommended for ages six and up. And that's all there is to it.

Available at your local Toys R Us. What more is there to say? What do you think? I don't know what I think. Our buddy Hop and his black face boys pointing into the horizon. They're coming for you. Imagine Strex in black face though. I do and I can and I have.

And I will continue to imagine Strex in black face. Lee's right behind. He's the tank. We've got to tell Sash about this too. Oh man. Don't break him. Everybody. You guys are the worst.

Why do I talk to you? Everybody's got to get in on him. I didn't do this. That's the way for him for the past couple minutes. Yeah. That's almost illegible but it's fine. Don't worry about that. How long have we gone on?

That's exactly 42 minutes bonus for people. We have not talked about video games. All right. Hold on a second. We've talked about David Cage for 10 minutes. Oh that's true. He's a video game. Well those are fairly video games.

I'm in defense of heavy rain. Yeah first of all how dare you? How dare you? I've heard about trust David Cage with my life. No. He approached you with a folder full of pictures of you as a child. Oh my god that's so nice. How did you not trust him?

David Cage how'd you get those pictures of me doing blackface during one phase? Right? Do you think he does that to Sony anytime he makes a game? He just approaches them. That's it. The pictures of their logo over the years? Yeah the logo over the years. No like Emmy opens it up like I did blackface.

When did this happen? And David Cage is like I was there. I knew. I've always been there. Aw this is sweet David Cage. See now I'm just imagining David Cage trying to ask you on page out. I'm just kind of weird. You know I've seen basically from the grudge where she finds all those photos with the

ghost behind in the background. Yeah. Imagine going through your old photos and there's David Cage in the background. Just always behind something with like a camera and I think that's how most of this is going to be. That's pretty realistic. Oh so slowly flipping through the album. Yeah.

That's like my fantasy though like to be real. That's just yours. Being in your fucking your blackface daughter. That's basically how that goes. Make sure you watch the Chattanooga Park version though. Not that American shit. What's video games this week guys? Well the main thing I guess I suppose is the Nintendo blackface.

Yeah I thought you were the name of the game. Spareventil. Brand new console. A little bit controversial. Yeah. I'm admitting to it. You'll remember that name. It's running on the proprietary Nvidia Negra chip.

Oh there we go. I'm actually super excited for the Nintendo blackface. Yeah you wouldn't be blackface bored. Because you switch. And then it's not blackface anymore. No look it's fine. It's politically correct and then bam horribly offensive. When you have your rooftop twenty something parties and you're like

we gotta whip out the blackface. The switch is there. And then it's like twenty something. Yeah. Any black people around. Nope switch. Everybody can do it and say it and have a good time. That noise over the cork.

Yeah. And then it's like oh someone's coming over. Are they black. Yeah switch. Hey there's the new Mario game. He has a new power up in this one. What happened. Perfect.

You don't want to be racist at home. Take it with you on the go. You pull it apart and there's like a secret department of makeup. There you go. That's why you keep it exactly. It's like because they have those proprietary like slots for controllers. The Nvidia Negra. The Splatoon thing where it just shoots blackface ink.

Perfect. Splatoon. Yes. Lovely. Fantastic. But to talk serious here folks for a moment. Since on the regular podcast I want to be there. I want to chime in that hey I really wish I didn't know almost everything about this

console before this trailer. No I'm super happy that we all called it the exact same thing. Yeah. I'm a little peeved that we don't get anything for the rest of the year. Yeah. Confirmed. No weird. Confirmed.

Nothing for the rest of the year. And here's your trailer that was made for investors of really attractive people playing video games. I'm doing blackface. One thing it utterly confounds me. Who are you supposed to get. Us. Show us a video game.

No. The console is coming out in six months. No. You have to show video games that won't be on the console like Skyrim. Like Skyrim. Yeah. It really like maybe you guys can explain this to me but when Eurogamer released their leak of what turned out to actually be the final design and a legit leak of how it actually

works. And not the Foxconn sketches you mean? Oh whatever. I don't know. Eurogamer did a thing and it turned out to be correct. Yes. Eurogamer tends to do. People like really weren't flipping their shit over that with excitement.

And now that they've like released the trailer. Apparently like the people in my circle are really really hyped about this. Investors didn't like it. They like dropped 7% even though they're still having a good year for Pokemon Go. But I don't know. Like what is the situation here? We're once. Oh god.

It really is the situation. Like where like Nintendo makes this thing official. People are really happy. But when Eurogamer leaks it ahead of time and people already know what's up they're just kind of like. I'm not sure 100% if that's going to be the final. Right. And they're just like whatever.

I think. You don't know. Yeah. I think anybody that has been like actively paying attention to the industry and or has purchased like Nintendo consoles is probably really happy with the news that it's like this is going to be both a hybrid. But I'm George. Man.

I think like the idea that Nintendo unifies its develop its departments and its resources. You don't have 3DS people and you don't have we people. That's the most important. You have both together. It changes a lot. So you have a regular lot. Theoretically a regular flow of games coming out frequently. You have a lot more talent working on the same space on the same console and you have

a powerful life thing that can be. You can play it anywhere. You can play anywhere. Exactly. You can tell your development teams hey instead of choosing to make something that can be played in quick bursts like a 3DS game traditionally might be or instead of making a big epic longer thing just do literally whatever it doesn't matter because a person can just choose to play it at home for the entirety that they own the thing or go outside all the time.

It'll probably have like sleep mode basic requirements but I'll turn but outside of that I mean it seems like you can just yeah you develop whatever kind of game you want. What this means is that since the portable stuff is going to be consolified now you're going to have the next Pokemon be a console game. We've never had that. Like a mainline Pokemon. Disabled. Disabled.

They didn't know would do something like that though. The Pokemon Company. Or just make Pokemon an old go only franchise. Yeah right. Snap. Just making a snap too. Snap too with the fricking iPad now. I could see investors being upset or not liking the fact that it's like why aren't you making

a phone or something stupid like that but that doesn't mean anything. I'm literally making a console that someone can play anywhere. Yeah. Investors have traditionally always been ridiculously stupid and there's like things about like Iwata basically like having to talk down to them like children you know. You can go listen to the minutes. Even now Iwata like a voice comes out of his grave and tells me shut the fuck up. You're just old men that don't know what video games are.

I think the logo is really cool. I think it's smart. I think it's cool that like it kind of like indirectly resembles a yin yang you know in some kind of way. And yeah the fact that you're watching it and it's like okay here's a controller. You slide it off and you hold one side of these joy cons. Excuse me I should be calling it. Joy cons.

Looks really awkward. That sounds like a really fun con I'd love to go to. It sounds like it's really fun. Kind of up there with dog con right. A little bit but not quite. Joy dog. Not everything is dog con. Dog con special.

But the moment they showed the classic controller I was like okay we're good no matter what we're good. As long as you show me that alternative. This is really incredibly nitpicky. But I saw like one of those fake leaked names that I liked better than the switch. Which was what? The Nintendo duo. Duo's better.

I think duo's better. Cause it's two and one and also it's like the next step for Nintendo. So like number two. Because you're finally taking the two platforms. I generally think the switch is a really boring nothing name. But your name is the switcher. The guy that has your dreads. Must be you.

The same type of thing. Oh a giant stuffed banana? Yes. But like the switch like let's say the gimmick of the console was a big red button that you press and something happens and streamers shoot out and carries. Like the Tinko. Yeah. So would they call it the Nintendo button?

Cause it's the same sort of thing. It's like hey it's the switch cause I get it. Your name is the best I've heard so far. Yeah. To be fair this is coming from the same people that name it the Wii U. Now so here's the thing though. Back when it was just the Nintendo Wii. I remember there was someone that was like hey here's an idea.

Call it the Nintendo V. And it was like just replaced. You get the same kind of sound. It's just pronounced universally by people. And it's a dumb kind of. And it also kind of means the Nintendo 5 which is the fifth console. So it kind of actually adds up. Maybe you want to do that or whatever.

And then they're like no we're calling it Wii. Get your jokes out now. I believe was what the actual press person said. But I think like with Switch it's just kind of like I'm fine with it. I think it works. But I think it would be cool if they actually brought back just something called the Nintendo. Or the Nintendo Entertainment System. Cause I hate when people reboot games franchises like that.

But for a console I kind of feel like they could pull that off nowadays. Just call a system the Nintendo. My mom still calls it the Nintendo. You know? No matter what the generation is. My greatest source of frustration about this thing is like I've been waiting my whole life for the SNES 2 to happen. And this is just like the crushing realization that it's never going to happen. Are you legit though?

If you want to be called the SNES 2? What is it you want? I don't know. You don't know huh? The primary. Who does know? Should I ask them? Primary concerns, maybe, I don't know, maybe David Gage knows.

But it seems like the primary issues that Nintendo's past three generations of consoles have had have always fallen back on them just not knowing how the internet works and failing to implement solid online infrastructure in any of their machines. You can say that up to a point. Does anyone have a problem with the Wii U's infrastructure online at all? I never did. The account system is trash. I can't play online games with my friends.

No, you can't. You have to have a phone with Skype. You plugged into a headset. I have to physically send people my friend code and if I lose my Wii or if it breaks, I can't recover all of this. They made a game called Mario Maker. They stopped that a while ago. They shipped it without a Mario Maker level browser. They just do like that.

You sent your name to your account in AA. Yes, but not the Wii U. That's the fact that I can't recover my save data or my purchases if something goes wrong. That's why a Nintendo Switch or whatever is like that literally solves the problem. It's supposed to fix that, yeah. So I also think you're in the middle of a problem that they come into like two or three years down the line of the generation is their hardware like not maintaining parity with the competition. Yes.

Unless you have a Wii U situation where EA is like, whoops, I guess we're not going to make Madden anymore. Yeah. Oh God, yeah. And it's like really stuck to the Wii U because the Wii U is like a great situation where like conventional genres would play really differently with their control scheme. And I just, I don't see like that level of like software design creativity happening with the machine that's basically like a jumbo size portable. That's it. Like the GameCube was the last time that like companies could just go like, yeah, port it to all systems including that. Yeah.

But it was almost always inferior ports because the optical disc could hold way, way, way less data. So you get like the best example of the Wii is like you play Def Jam, Fight for New York. Less music. You get less voice samples for your character creator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got three on the GameCube. So it's like, yeah, I kind of kind of see where it's like you have a console that's power is maybe less than what's currently available and its controller is not really doing anything quite different. So then what do you have?

Nintendo choosing to always kind of be on a different level from where the main like competitions happening means that they're not going to get that extra port money. It means they're not going to just be a part of the race. They're not going to be a running their own different race. Which they've been running. I don't like one console maker being different. If all three were very similar, it'd be boring. It really would be boring. You're right.

Here's why the Switch is going to succeed regardless. People will always want the 3DS, whatever Nintendo's handheld portable is. If this is all they have, that's it. Yeah. It's a tablet. It's going to succeed on that. It's not going to be the only guy in the room who doesn't care about portable. I need Pat with me.

Maybe. Because I can tell you right now that Liam as a die-hard console, a portable console, what's the word? He's a handboy. He's probably okay with this. Crusader. Yeah. That's going to be something that he wants. And personally, something that I want too as well.

I think that it can beat out people that have iPads, not on a level of smart phones in general, but just the idea that you can play multiplayer locally is a huge difference. Which you can't do on an iPad. Yeah. The one situation in my life where I would get genuinely excited about this is if I was a kid who wanted to play Smash in the cafeteria at school. That's the demographic. This would be amazing, but I'm not.

I'm a lonely adult who sits in a quiet dark room playing, this is the police in two days, to get a video out. Well, there's a console version of the Switch where you just don't pick it up, and it stays in your house. And it sits awkwardly on that dock with part of the screen sticking out, collecting dust. I don't like that. I don't like that dock, man. And really attractive people are outside on the rooftops playing.

Oh, yes. If I will become as hot as the people in this room. Everyone's saying that. And I saw a lot of people saying, like, why did it went so hot? Who are they supposed to put in this advertisement? Boogie? Do you want Boogie to be there? Like, moving around?

Yes! No! That would never happen in any reality. Imagine Boogie just like rolling into the room and grabbing this thing and being like, what up, guys? Check this out. I would buy that console. I would turn to the other side and be right.

I'm mocking that, but fast forward to you on the street ball court, dunking, and then running over to the tables and playing some NBA 2018. Yes! And then you slam them down, and you show them your George Socks, and you're like black-faced motherfuckers. Can we at least agree that, like, the situations that these commercial people are living in are ridiculous. Absolutely.

They're commercial. Except for the guy taking his dog for a walk. No, that's ridiculous. I've seen that happen in life. It was probably ridiculous. You don't think someone can take their dog for a walk, go to the park, and pull out a 3DS? I think it's silly that someone actively wants to take their dog to the dog park to play,

and they just want to play video games instead. Dogs in their life don't have legs. I have, and I didn't have a portable back then either. Do you know Joy? No. I met her once in high school, and we never talked again. But the next situation that comes up is someone who's going to play basketball, but then they stop playing basketball to play basketball on a video game instead of in real life.

Yeah, that's goofy shade. That never happens. And then the next situation that comes up is there's this girl in her apartment who looks out the window, and she has, like, sexy friends who are like, hey, come party with us. She's like, no, I want to play video games. Oh, I guess I'm going to play video games on my way to the party. But again, it's trying to tell these, that type of demographics, like, hey, here's where the functionality of this system, as ridiculous as the situation might be, here's where it

can have a real life application where you can at least go see friends. And I don't see the idea of Splatoon being an e-sport. Would you be okay with this? Well, it should be. If all the roles were switched with us and our friends. I would much rather, yes, yes, Austin, I would rather get paid those sweet Nintendo PR bucks to appear in commercials. Would you rather a guy playing Metroid pretending to dive and shoot with the Wiimote and nunchuck

behind his couch? This is dumb. Because it's not dumb. If not dumb. That's not even a would you rather. It can't be a would you rather came from. If the answer is it's equally dumb. This is a step forward.

It's not equally dumb, it's worse. I think it's worse. This is a step forward, though. I hated those Wii game controllers, because Wii demonstrations with the family and stuff, because it was like, no one's actually doing that. I did, though. No one's going to go to a party and play Nintendo Switch Arena. You say that.

You say that. I mean, maybe like, you're nerdy. You want to estimate how huge of a loser you are. Let me reiterate that past statement. No one who's that hot is going to go to parties with people who are also that hot. Possibly. Awesome would do it. Thanks for calling us all in.

Well, Twitter, you've been challenged. George is challenging you. Yeah. You hide only ugly people play video games as George. Oh, is that what you said? Yeah. Are you scared? Uh-ohs for Switch.

Switch has video games. Let's go. She likes Bioshock. Blackface boys. Listen, listen, listen. I think that Nintendo's probably going to be fine, once again, being their own unique niche in the industry. And that third party list is fucking from software.

That's a complete list. Oh, it's such a list. Atlas. Platinum's on the nail. It's such a bullshit. Half of those are bullshit, but some of them are real good. So that means the list is bullshit. If half of something is bullshit, then it's bullshit.

But Platinum and FromSoft and Atlas cancel out that shit, those shit ones, 505 and maximum gain. But hold on, bullshit because you don't think those companies are making games for it? And it's happened in the past that a shit load of third party companies signed on for a Nintendo launch and just drop like flies over the first year. This is when we just wait and see what happens. Because we're not going to hear Jack shit for three more months. Or just not buy stuff and save your money and spend it on trips to Japan instead?

Nothing. Or... No. You killed the room. Everyone's... Everyone's like more expensive. Everyone's broke on the VR train right now. They're all...

They're all staring at their... Excuse me, not Summer Lesson. They're flying high on that. The charge sucks train. VR Kanojo, I believe it's called? Yes. Oh. Right?

Everyone's high on their VR Kanojo right now and they've been left alone at their home. They don't give up devices. They don't have the money anyway. So you know how in Japanese PSVR, if you try to like look into people's shirts, there's the big blob that says, no. What does that say? I want to know what that translates to.

Out of bounds? Out of bounds. Out of bounds. Out of bounds. I tried to look at Miku's vagina area and it just said out of bounds. Yeah, it says out of active play area. So it's not like she just closes her legs. No.

You cannot actively play in that area. It depends on the game. It's out of bounds. And go there. There are two VR compatible Miku games. And in one of them, you can see your panties. There's a way, but in general, the idea is that like that stuff that people have gotten by going too far down into the message pops up.

Yeah. It's just you're out of the play area. Yeah. You can't play there. It's no goes up. It's not the play area. No. You can't go there.

So it's just going to say out of bounds in English when those games come out. Out of bounds. Did you be fair? I was like on the ground upside down. Yeah. Like the camera. Well, he was getting in there. I was crawling around on summer lesson.

I was trying to get in there, but they wouldn't have it. And that's fine. Have you guys seen the video of the Japanese footage of Dead or Alive 3 Extreme? I have not. You have? Okay. So like it's cam footage from like a guy in Expo and you see someone like getting all up and Kasumi's boobs and she's just like, yeah, stop it, stop it.

And the guy with the camera turns to the guy playing the game and it's this guy in like a Hawaiian shirt, like holding the chair and just slamming his head around. Yeah. Basically. I mean, this footage of motherfuckers like humping and thrusting dry into devices that are being tested at this point. So, you know, we're there. That future exists.

There are no Japanese babies anymore. Only VR babies. VR black kids' babies. Yeah. Yeah. Basically. That's where we live now. You know?

The kids with the VR headset can hide your tears. It's fine. Yeah. It's too late to explore the world. The rubber kind of just absorbs the tears. It fills up entirely and then you have to take it off and drop it out. Exactly. It's filled up with your water and tears.

That's how you clean the land just in time. Basically. You clean it up. Actually cleans your PSVR. No, but I think, yeah, based on that stuff though, like it's like, again, the switch is just going to be like, it'll hit when it needs to. I don't imagine they're going to be insane enough to make it like really expensive. No.

Nintendo, when has they ever made something this expensive? You know what I mean? Like, yeah. $4.99 or something. Well, the other Nvidia gaming tablet and streaming devices do run a premium. Like Shield tablets can go up to $1,000 if they want to, but they're for like PC gamers and not normal people. Yeah.

The question though will be, one, is this a touch screen because they haven't confirmed it. Right. Is it a touch screen? And two, is it going to be, I forgot the name of it, but it's the difference between like a 3DS screen and a PSP screen where, like the visual crisp quality of the, oh, LED? Yeah.

Thank you. Oh, exactly. Is it going to be OLED or not? Because if they go, if they fucking go for all of this, but again, all that was confirmed when they now is that it's 720. Sure. That's it. That's fine for a portable.

That's great for a portable. Yeah. They're going to have to step it up. They're going to have to step it up. They're going to have to step it up. Like they can't continue to just like, just coast on over. The last time I thought about the Shield, it was me and Willie made a joke about it. It passed like three years ago.

Yeah. We were following, we were just filming people playing under 3DS's and then like a thousand people. Right. Just like building up the whole thing while the K.I. music theme was playing. And then there was one. One person.

It was a beta. And it was like a combo breaker and then we cut to the Shield counter breaker. Yeah. It was great. Just kids don't spend your money on stuff if you don't know what's good. Yeah. I guess. But you know what?

Yeah. No, sure. Right. That's the basic version of it. And your answer is I guess. I guess. Or how about wait till games are shown. But like jobs aside, are you going to buy a switch?

Not unless I, not unless super good reviews come in and I have a motive. Are you going to buy a switch? If there's games for it. Are you going to buy a switch? There's a new console Harvest Moon. Are you going to buy a switch? Without work. Yeah.

But like with work, obviously. Without work. Without work. Obviously. Obviously. Yes. Like I bought a PSVR with no indication that I was going to. And then I did just because I want to have this one little thrill which is untold on.

And that's enough. So like even if there was one demo on the switch that was at least fun, like I'll always get something. I want to play Breath of the Wild so yes I am. I think there's something to say about wanting to be an early adopter and support something. Especially if you have the means to be able to do so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's an irrational situation to be in.

A robot wouldn't do it. Why would you do that? We're not robots George. Yeah. As irrational as like spending a bunch more money just to go to some country. For no reason. There's a giant Gundam there. Fuck off.

Well that's the thing. It's also a thrill. It's also a enriching human experience. Says the guy that makes videos about video games. Yeah. Maybe I could do something else with one. Maybe you should be a tour of Japan man. A tourist guide you mean.

Yeah. Maybe you should pop out of more bushes in the suicide forest and scare Japanese. Yeah. See that was an enriching human experience. That should be your job. It was very interesting. It was a quality. It helped me get in touch with myself.

I didn't fill holes in my life with like plastic electronic products. Kids the joys of blackface. Oh my god. Like people can listen to this man and just realize but back in the very back of his mind he's just like a can't wait to do recognition. Motherfucker when you're taking your when you're at a press conference and you're writing your campaign I will be in the press corps with my hat and glasses and notepad going excuse me sir George.

It says here apparently there's 30,000 emails of you recreationally practicing. Can you explain? I'm not sure. You said that. I'm not sure if I really want to be president because all you really get is a big white house. All you really get. 30,000 emails.

When will you release the emails of you wearing blackface? Not asking if it exists. That's not what I asked you. I said when will you release them sir? I can't answer that because it's a negative answer. Oh. George and I were talking about running together. Together.

Yeah. We'll switch off every year until we die. We've already both destroyed our birth certificates. No one will ever know where we come from. Strong. You got my vote. Thanks dad. You can't even vote.

I cannot vote. I'm Canadian. Neither can I. Yeah. It's not my problem. You guys ruined the country. We all have that fucking shit to deal with. That ain't us.

George you said you're going to move to Canada. I'm thinking about moving somewhere. It's one of the three. It's one of the three right? Yeah. Yeah. Where is Japan on your list now? We're getting a little personal here gentlemen and ladies.

I think we can. That's fine. Can back away from. Whichever country has. Very personal. Canada, Japan and Zanzibarland. Are you going to have to buy weed in Zanzibarland? It's a country without borders.

I might just move to Portland and buy weed forever or die. Well all the kids are at you or playing their switches and doing. We're on the street as Outer Heaven. Very lax policies in Outer Heaven on Blackface. I think you might enjoy it this time of year. So if I want to go to the Blackface dispensary. But also want to play video games. The Nintendo Switcheroo.

Gotcha for it man. You've got to make your own business. Alright I think that's good. I think that's a lot of enough silliness. I think that's a good goofy time. I think we're good. Thank you guys. We appreciate having you on the podcast.

Thanks for being such a good sports judge. Please stop telling everyone I do Blackface. Why did you just confirm that you did Blackface live on the podcast?