Chainsaw History - Introducing "No Time For Love, Doctor Jones" - Indiana Jones Meets History

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

It's a new limited series from Chainsaw History: "No Time For Love, Doctor Jones" — in which Jamie Chambers drags his reluctant sister Bambi through the fictional life of Dr. Henry Walton Jones, Jr. — aka Indiana Jones. In today's episode our hosts introduce our new show and take a meta look at the history of our complicated main character as created by George Lucas in collaboration with Steven Spielberg. (Did you know that if wasn't for Clint Eastwood and white supremacist Asa Carter, we might live in a world with an "Indiana Smith" movie and no Star Wars?)Made for fans and newcomers alike, "No Time For Love, Doctor Jones" will find entertainment and real-world history as we watch the development of cinema's most famous archeologist and whip-cracking hero!

Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love! We've got company! Hello, strange woman! I was once a world famous archaeologist and adventurer. Oh, this is terrible. It's true! That's right, I'm 100% Harrison Ford, Sean Patrick Flannery, Slash River Phoenix, and some kid we all try to forget. It's me, the genuine article, old Indiana Jones, who wears an eye patch. I didn't actually lose an eye, I just never really got out of my pirate phase. It all started in the spring of 1976. And scene. So welcome to our brand new show, No Time for Love, Dr. Jones, where we follow the fictional adventures of one Dr. Henry Walton Jones Jr. Oh, goody, goody, goody. As this gentleman who we just met, I did my 100% dead on impression of him up top. Well, I mean, yeah, but oh goodness, I know we're going to have to talk about it later, so I'm just going to suppress whatever I'm saying. So I am your host, Jamie Chambers, and this is my sister, Bambi. Hello. So this new show will normally be on chainsawhistory.com as bonus content for our beloved $5 or more paid subscribers. We'll get access to this entire series, but this one and the one following you're going to get for free to give you a taste of what you're missing if you don't join us in the future.

Also, we'll be doing the value of series, some of which will be on the main feed, some of which will be exclusive to the paid subscribers. So go to chainsawhistory.com to check that out if you want to hear the whole thing and not miss a minute of my old Indiana Jones impressions that are coming to you. Oh, this is, I can't tell if it's going to be really good or really bad. I'm really scared. So this is totally selfish on my part because... Oh, very. So much so. Since 1981, Indiana Jones has been my favorite fictional character and hero of all time. Oh, you don't say. Yeah, I know this is like not news for you, but just for anybody who happens to be listening in on our conversation. And Raiders of the Lost Ark is my favorite movie of all time. I'm not even declaring it's the best movie of all time. It's just my favorite.

It just hits all of my personal buttons. It's got history and pulp adventure with a hero who doesn't give up. It's got punching and shooting and melting off of the faces of Nazis. I do like melting Nazis. And so, you know, since then, there have been lots of other, you know, characters to rise up and challenge Dr. Jones from my top spot. But none have even been serious contenders. Like since I was six years old, Indiana Jones has been my guy. Yeah. And the reason that I disliked Indiana Jones so much as a child was how much you freaking loved it and inflicted it upon the rest of us. When I was around when I when I wore my goofy hat and tried to I have pictures. When I tried to sneak a bullwhip into Heartsfield International Airport when I was 11.

So I unapologetically love the original trilogies of that Lost Ark Temple of Doom, Last Crusade. And, you know, despite Crystal Skull being a steaming pile of, you know, disappointment. That's all you're going to call it as a disappointment. We'll get to that one day. We'll get a ways to go. Oh, thank God. It's in the future. It's in our distant future, but it's still waiting for us. There was a plague. But, you know, people are talking about, well, that's when, you know, that's when Indiana Jones, you know, got bad.

And I was like, but people are forgetting that there was one piece of Indiana Jones media. Let's just say it got mixed reviews. You know, back from the ancient days of the 1990s. Well, first of all, the show had a lot of good and bad. There was a lot of things that were really good about it. But it also got very canceled after a couple of seasons. Because it was kind of really bad. And it was also ridiculously expensive.

Yeah, it's the kind of thing that would have been perfect for like the streaming world we live in now. But instead it was like old school broadcast television. So yeah, there was a piece of Indiana Jones media that got, you know, let's just say mixed reviews. Back from the ancient days of the 1990s. And we got a whole ass TV show produced by the flanneled one himself, George Lucas. Yeah, well, the cinematography in the show really, truly is spectacular. Yeah, it was it would cost a lot of money. And you can see a lot of money on the screen.

So I am, of course, talking about the young Indiana Jones Chronicles, which premiered on ABC in 1992. I was there. I was 17 years old. Now, George Lucas imagined this show as edutainment. That was literally the phrase he and Rick McCallum use. So it was the first time George Lucas worked with Rick McCallum, who was the producer we can blame as being partly responsible for the Star Wars prequels. Yeah, but it's started their their partnership started here with young Indiana Jones. And this whole concept was this idea of kind of putting a spoonful of sugar having George Lucas wanted to get young people interested in history.

And it's like, who better than an archaeologist who's digging around in history and having and plus, you know, Indiana Jones grew up during the earliest part of the 20th century. So he was a teenager during World War One, which is cool. So it's like, let's do that. So like, we'll have an adventure stories, but they were deliberately not they're meant to be less pulpy in tone than the actual movies. They were meant to be way more grounded and fill the guest stars of like fiction of like historical characters and places and events. I'm pretty sure it wasn't grounded in much of anything, including reality. Well, I mean, they tried to do certain things like later on, Indiana Jones just happens to be in the Battle of Verdun in World War One. And they really try to convey what one of the most horrific experiences for human beings in the history of the world was like. All right, so Indiana Jones, young Indiana Jones gives us the perfect excuse to talk about history because the movies touch on real world history.

The show is filled with like, you know, ridiculous history. Like cameos from people and definitely stretches things here and there. But it's all in the purpose of trying to get people interested and learn more. Like George Lucas, you know, there's interviews of him being all wide eyed about how this is just going to get everybody really into like he had this. He thought this was really going to change everything. And this is going to be this smash success because George Lucas had just had nothing but win after win up to this point. And this is kind of when the shine of George Lucas starts to wear off. Because it was from here to the Star Wars prequels.

You know, now he's literally just retired for after selling Lucasfilm for $4 billion. He should retire. Yeah, he is retired 100%. They won't even let him be involved in the new Star Wars and Indiana Jones stuff. Even when he's like, well, I got some suggestions. No, no, we don't want to hear from you all, man. Shut the fuck up. So we're going to go along and figure out this man, this legend, Dr. Henry Indiana Jones Jr.

Professor of archaeology, expert on the occult and abtainer of rare antiquities. The abtainer. That means stolen. That was a line directly lifted off of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Because that was when the government agent was trying to be sort of diplomatic about calling him a grave robber, which is totally what he is. And he straight up called that at the beginning of Temple of June. He was like, you're a grave robber, not an archaeologist. So we're only going with live action mediums for the Indiana Jones tele-cinematic universe where we're not going with like comic books or novels or pick a path books, video games or any of that stuff.

Or the tabletop role-play games. You know that Tracy Hickman worked on the official, when TSR did the Indiana Jones role-playing game, he wrote two adventures. That's awesome. Yeah. So it's possible they're good. I mean, they were as good as they were going to be. I mean, one of them was just literally just an adaptation of one of the movies. So I loved a lot of that other side junk, but it just, none of it agrees.

It's just, and it's way too cheesy and a varying quality. And the quality is already going to vary enough. Trust me, considering we're going to go all the way from the shaky days of this TV show, all the way to Raiders of the Lost Ark, one of the greatest movies ever made of all time, all the way to Crystal Skull. And then God knows what the dial of destiny is going to be like later this year, because we'll eventually get to it too. So buckle up. Oh, I'm thoroughly buckled. I have not seen any of this since I was a kid. So we're going to go all through it one week at a time.

So before we dive into the fictional life of our hero and all the famous historical figures he met and all the women he banged and then abandoned. First, we're going to do a short meta history, just a little taste teaser of just what was going on behind the camera to give us an Indiana Jones in the first place. Oh, you're going to go straight full nerd on us, okay? Because this is our, this episode, we're not actually getting into the show yet. We're just going to be talking about Dr. Jones. We're just going to talk about. We're just chatting a little bit about what makes an Indiana Jones, and then we're going to get into it. So, so a lot of this information I've just absorbed through the years of being an Indiana Jones dork, but I'll give a particular shout out to the podcast, The Soundtrack Show.

In his four part series on the music of Raiders of the Lost Ark, host David W. Collins gives a lot of background and behind the scenes information. All while he's like analyzing John Williams amazing and gorgeous score. I mean, so you get to hear lots of the music and he talks you through it. But he's also telling you all this like behind the scenes stuff. The Indiana Jones wiki on fandom.com is also quite helpful for, you know, getting into some of the details of these episodes and movies. And it's also very weird to realize that that same company, Fandom, owned a game I designed for several years before selling it off again. So it's just talking about a very weird way. We're getting more than one crossover, by the way, too.

Oh, fun. Okay. Just, just you wait. So, so get your fedora and grab your bullwhip. I got nothing. You're just staring at me and I'm literally just flabbergasted. All right. Well, let me, let me throw some knowledge your way.

Oh, God. So you may have known that George Lucas directed a little film called Star Wars. George Lucas made Star Wars because he couldn't make a Flash Gordon movie. Now, a lot of people know that story. So he, you know, he really loved those old pulp serials that you'd see before. Like in the old days, you would see these little serialized, like little short films before the big feature, whatever the big movie was. And so a lot of them were these goofy little adventures that the kids loved. And so George Lucas and Steven Spielberg were both huge fans of that old, like, pulp serial thing.

Like Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers were both direct inspirations for Star Wars. But what a lot of people do not know is that Steven Spielberg directed a movie called Raiders of the Lost Ark, because he couldn't make the movie he wanted to, which was a James Bond movie. Yeah. And really, Steven Spielberg is the thing that George Lucas needed so much. Well, those are the things that them teaming up is the reason I truly think why Raiders of the Lost Ark, especially in all three of those movies were so good. Yeah, these two genius filmmakers, but it's like George Lucas, especially being such a good idea guy, but not being necessarily a great director with Steven Spielberg being one of the greatest directors in the history of the world. And forever.

And that's the sad thing is Steven Spielberg did not need George Lucas, but George Lucas definitely needed Steven Spielberg. So way back in 1973, George Lucas wrote a script titled The Adventures of Indiana Smith. And so just like Star Wars was like a remix of the sci fi action serial adventures, so like Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon. Indiana Smith was a remix of like the pulp action adventure serials like Don Winslow of the Navy and Tim Tyler's luck. And I am familiar with Don Winslow of the Navy. It was very goofy, very sort of like half military, half sort of superhero-y, but very, very much for little kids, kind of like a G.I. Joe kind of a thing. But it had this kind of, and then also, so yeah, Smith was imagined to be a treasure hunting hero modeled after like Charlton Heston and Secret of the Incas and Humphrey Bogart and the Treasure of Sierra Madre. In fact, like that image of Humphrey Bogart wearing this big fedora was a direct inspiration.

And then actually if you look, now I think that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg both deny this, but if you actually look at Indiana Jones costume and then look at Charlton Heston and Secret of the Incas, basically the same outfit, it's just that the fedora, the big, it's not even truly a fedora, because Indiana Jones actually has a unique hat. It was basically designed to give this perfect silhouette that they were going for. Yeah, because it's kind of... It's a bigger, taller hat than just a standard fedora. Yeah, there's literally like a 30 minute feature at just the design of the hat, which is in the fucking Smithsonian. Yes, I have seen it. So George Lucas was talking about this concept with writer, director Philip Kaufman in the project Stalk.

Are you ready for a crossover, crossover, crossover? Whatever. The reason the project lost steam was because a guy named Clint Eastwood pulled Kaufman off in order to work on a movie called The Outlaw, Josie Wales, written by Forrest Carter, a.k.a. racist piece of shit, Asa Carter, who we did a whole ass episode on a while back. Oh yeah, I remember that, Dick. So we might have gotten the Indiana Smith movie instead of Star Wars if it wasn't for Clint Eastwood and Asa Carter. Think about that for a second. There's an alternate world where that happened and there was no Star Wars, and Indiana Smith probably would have sucked.

Well, it's hard to say because Kaufman really was a good director, but he certainly was no Steven Spielberg. Actually is, I think he's still alive. He's one of those really artistic, weird directors. Okay, yeah, I mean, pretty much everyone always wants to talk to me about movies in the 80s. And it's like, at first of all, I had severe ADHD. So even if I did watch it, it's very possible I was not really there at all. And also none of it was... We're not even in the 80s yet.

This was the 70s. We're in the 70s. So yeah, I have literally, you might as well be talking to a while. But this is like, like I said, but even still just this idea that there's this alternate timeline where Clint Eastwood didn't grab Philip Kaufman. And so George Lucas moved ahead. And so he didn't do Star Wars at all. Yeah, that would be terrible. He just made this Indiana Smith movie with this weird artsy, fartsy filmmaker.

One of those things like, what would that have been like? Who knows? Anyway, so now we're going to flash forward a few years later. And this is after Star Wars has come out and has become like the crazy worldwide phenomenon that it was. Where people were standing in line for like around the block for days. As they should have. It changed everything. And they're like, so Steve, so George Lucas freaked the fuck out.

Like he was literally having like a nervous breakdown of the level of success. And like it made no sense. He thought he was just making this little, just like he did for THX. The film was going to be this weird thing. And then he had some, then he made a solid hit with American graffiti. But this like Star Wars was just like... Well, yeah, there's a big difference between American graffiti and Star Wars. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. As in some people are familiar with a movie called American Graffiti. And everyone has at least heard of Star Wars, even if our sound engineer has never seen it, which is amazing. That's crazy. Calling you out, Kevin. Oh, goodness gracious. Just so everyone knows Star Wars is one of my favorite movies of all time. I wanted to be just like Princess Leia, which is why I'm like fucking snarky.

They're sarcastic, badass, but still feminine. Oh, God. And I loved Carrie Fisher as a human being and just, she's a very inspirational person. And you know who Carrie Fisher loved sometimes? Harrison Ford. Very specifically. I don't know if she loved him, but she definitely fucked him. And was proud of it.

So anyway, Star Wars was this worldwide success. And so Steven Spielberg went on vacation with George Lucas. They're both married at the time, so they took their families out to Hawaii to just get away from everything. And so they're hanging out and they're building a sand castle on the beach according to this legend. And they start talking about like, okay, what's your next project? What's your next project? And that's when Stevie confessed he really, really wanted to direct a James Bond movie. He's like, I can direct good action like nobody has seen yet.

And you know, Steven Spielberg hadn't really done a full on action movie at this point. And I'll go on the record saying it is kind of a crime that we never got a Spielberg directed James Bond movie because that would have rocked. That would have been badass. But weirdly enough, he did get to sort of direct James Bond in a way with Last Crusade, if you think about it. So, but George replied to Steven, he's like, well, I have a character that's even cooler than James Bond and built for sequels and has a lot of the same basic ingredients of adventures, tons of action set pieces and a new girl, you know, every adventure, that kind of thing. Yeah, because women are always disposable, which is what I love so much about the 80s. You know, that is definitely a fair criticism.

However, you know, we're talking about the tropes of like pulp action adventure that certainly was one of them. So George Lucas just starts telling this story while they're building the sandcastle and and just kind of basically mesmerized Stevie. Suddenly he's like falling in love with this idea of doing this pulp action adventure. And he kind of thought of it as like basically a James Bond film without the hardware. You can do a much more kind of two fisted, grittier character that gets into scrapes but doesn't rely on gadgets and goofy shit, spy shit, but literally just has to use his wits and his fists and a gun to get out of it. So like with two legendary filmmakers on board, like once they did this, they were able to quickly get paramount to sign with them to produce up to five Indiana Jones movies. And it's just crazy that that was like literally they were in like we're in the 1970s and we're just now getting the fifth Indiana Jones movie in 2023.

They took their sweet ass time. And it involves none of those guys except Harrison Ford who isn't even in the picture yet. He was not the first guy cast as Indiana Jones. So, you know, as you know, Tom Selleck was originally cast as Indiana Jones and we could have gotten that alternate universe. So yes, Tom Selleck originally cast and then that didn't work out. And Harrison Ford, they were originally a little almost reluctant because he was in George Lucas' previous movies. He was in American Graffiti and obviously one of the reasons Star Wars was so great was because he already had made an iconic character with Han Solo. However, once he they tested him for Indiana Jones, it was it was just all the road.

He was just so God knew that few people have been more perfect for a role. He did. I may be slightly in love with Harrison Ford. I'm slightly in love with Harrison Ford. Even though he's a crotchety old bastard. Well, we'll eventually be talking about old Mr. Magoo Harrison Ford. But we're not right now. This is glorious young mega hot Harrison Ford for the 1970s.

Before I was born. So we're just going to skim through this part. You know, we're not going to get into like the details of every single movie, but Raiders of the Lost Ark did what it did, which is completely slay, instantly established Indiana Jones as a household name and made a bajillion dollars. Not to mention being nominated for various awards. But Lucas did not want to just recycle stuff for the for the next film. So he deliberately made the next one a prequel. So Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was set over a year before the events of Raiders of the Lost Ark and did not have any of the same.

I mean, there were a little kind of story beats that remind you there are certain little bits, but in terms of like block pointers, no Nazis. They're in completely different locations very I mean, there's zero Judeo Christian imagery. I'm still very upset and curious that we never found out what happened to short round. Yeah, where it's just left. Maybe we'll find out in Dial of Destiny. Finally. However, anybody who wants to just see the actor.

Ki Hui Kwan, I believe is how you pronounce it. He was in the movie Everything Everywhere All at Once with Michelle Yeo, which was awesome. And he was the heart of the movie. He was great. Isn't that about to win all the awards? I know it's a nominee for some and it deserves it. It is a bonkers movie. I haven't seen it, but it looks interesting. His character was like literally the heart like the warm beating heart of the movie and the message of it, which is really beautiful.

So I like him and hopefully now who knows what if they're going to address the short round question. Whatever happened to short round. Because he just sort of popped up in this one, which means short rounds already gone by the time. Yeah, that's terrible. Is he dead by the time Raiders will have to talk about it when we get there. So anyway, but they did. However, they recycled action set pieces that they had to drop from the original version of Raiders. So there was stuff like a giant rolling gong used as a shield against gunfire jumping out of a plane with an inflatable raft,

which is one of the most gloriously stupid things ever shot. Yeah, I mean that whole opening sequence to Simple of Doom was kind of a James Bond film. So that makes complete sense. And that was always part of the mission statement was to let Stevie get his James Bond thing by having these giant crazy ass action set pieces. It's just instead you got your Indiana Jones instead of a James Bond. You know, slightly different instead of a swab always put together, Indiana Jones is slightly clumsy. He's always in over his head, barely getting by. But we like that in a hero.

Oh, yeah. The audience loves that. It's one of the reasons why he's my favorite is because he is human. He's very human. So, you know, yeah, and the mine cart, the mine cart chase scene was also originally going to be in Raiders, but they cut it because Raiders already had a lot going on. It even had a darker tone, but weirdly also had a musical number, a little kid sidekick. You know, it's just all over the place.

And it's also the reason why we have the PG-13 film rating. Well, between the first two movies, Raiders and Temple, we get the 80s trope of having a kid and a monkey. Yeah. Because apparently all 80s movies needed a kid or a monkey or both. Or kids with a monkey. Kids with a monkey is definitely something that they were into. So, yeah, well, PG-13. So when Temple of Doom was being rated by the MPAA, that was the whole thing where they were like,

yeah, there's a scene where a guy gets his heart ripped out of his chest. That's a little intense. We call that little kids, but we have a problem with that. So that's we're going to rate this R. And Steven Spielberg's like, well, being rated R is like a kiss of death if you want, you know, a wider audience. So he literally, Steven Spielberg bullied the MPAA to create a new rating that was in between PG and R. And this is why we get PG-13. Yeah, Temple of Doom was the first PG-13 movie.

Steven Spielberg had a lot of clout. The fucking dick swinging of Steven Spielberg created an entirely new film rating system for us. And there was all these stories, pitch for Indiana Jones movies that never got made. And the one that gets me, they always talk about Indiana Jones in a haunted medieval castle. And I'm like, that sounds fucking awesome. Why did we not get this movie? But apparently every time they toyed around with it, they couldn't get a story that really worked for them. So instead of the third movie, they resisted at first.

They didn't, like, Steven Spielberg didn't want to do the Holy Grail because he felt it was sort of ethereal. The whole Arthurian legend was all about prayer and chastity and virtue, and he was like, let us imagine Indiana Jones even a little bit. But then they realized that doing the whole estranged father relationship, that was the real story. And the quest for the grail was almost like a metaphor for their relationship. And so that's what made that one work. With that, and Sean Connery could make almost everything work. And of course, that also allowed Steven Spielberg to have his dream of directing James Bond. And as Sean Connery was, I mean, once again, that's almost a meta choice to pick and to literally have James Bond be Indiana Jones' father.

Because literally that's sort of the whole idea in a meta sense. It's also the sort of running joke of the character, the reason why way back in the 70s, George Lucas named the character Indiana Smith, is he had an Alaskan Malamute named Indiana, who he loved very much. And so he named the character after the dog, which is why later on in last crusade, that was the whole joke. He was like, we named the dog Indiana. And he's like, you are named after the dog. And it's like, that was literally just a meta joke because the character literally came from that. Later on, they kept the joke running because the character Willie was named after Steven Spielberg's dog.

And the second one, and then later on, I forget if there was a joke like that in the third movie, but later on, Shia LaBeouf plays Mutt Williams, who's literally named after the whole joke of named after a dog, not to John Williams, the composer who musically made the Indiana Jones movies worse. So there's just all these little jokes. So yeah, that's why Indiana Jones and Last Crusade introduced us to both Sean Connery as Dr. Henry Jones Sr. and also the concept of young Indiana Jones with River Phoenix playing 13-year-old Indy attempting to steal treasure from treasure hunters. Because... Because it belongs in a museum!

Correct. This event is so profound that Indy cosplays as the treasure hunter for the rest. Like this dude who gave him a hat and he just like decides to look like that guy for the rest of his life. Which is weird and sad. The dude in the script was just named Fedora. Doesn't even have a name. So anyway, Last Crusade seemed like such a nice ending for the franchise because our heroes literally ride into the sunset as the credits roll at the end.

And so Spielberg really felt like that was just kind of the nice place to leave it. It was, really. It really was. And maybe. And at the same time, George was more interested in television projects about young Indiana Jones. He started getting this idea. It's like we can go back and tell this stuff with history and making it educational and he got more like into that. So that's when he and Rick McCallum came up with this idea of the young Indiana Jones show

where you get like a 10 year old version of Indy, a 16 year old and as an extra bonus we get a 92 year old geezer version to book and inherit the episodes. Oh, he's so bad. Corey Carrier played little kid Indy. And of course, Sean Patrick Flannery portrayed teenage Indy after Rivers Phoenix turned them down cold. He's like, I am not going back to television. Fuck off. And who could blame him?

But we get Sean Patrick Flannery and Sean Patrick Flannery was so cute. Still is. And we wouldn't have the Boondock Saints or Powder. He's very lickable. And George Hall played old man Dr. Jones except once while he was filming The Fugitive, Harrison Ford had a break in filming and he actually had started watching the show and it was like, hey, this is kind of fun. He actually was into, especially the Sean Patrick Flannery version of Young Indiana Jones. He got into it.

So he's like, I want to do one. Because no one could get into the 10 year old version of it. So there is a single episode where Harrison Ford, instead of old Indy, it's Harrison Ford supposed to be in 1950. Indiana Jones is in the middle of an adventure and they get stuck somewhere and he narrates the story instead of old geezer Indy from the 1990s. Oh, that's pleasant. So it is still so it's still cheesy though. It has this layer of 90s Velveeta that is just glorious. It's one of the reasons to love this fucking show.

So now George Lucas can't help himself. He cannot just leave things alone. Never. Just like he couldn't leave Star Wars alone. Any of that stuff he has to go back and repackage and edit and fuck with. So it's like right now you can't find the original versions as they aired on TV anymore. They never sold them on DVD. They instantly like they started editing them right away.

And the new versions they take multiple episodes and slap them together with new narration and it's just it's not the same. And they even and they deleted old man Indy completely. As they should have. They erased him from the timeline and I say fuck you. Fuck you Lucasfilm and fuck you Disney. Oh, he's so bad. It's great. Which is why we are we are not going to watch these bastardized versions.

Damn it. We want as much old Indy as we can get our hands on. Yeah. That guy was he looks like Mad Eye Moody from Harry Potter. In fact, there's a I noticed a lot. A lot of Harry Potter like. Yeah. In this.

It's like this is. Oh, very much so. Chris Columbus just watching this watch the shit out of this show. He was getting high. Guaranteed. If we if we could if we could ask him, I guarantee he'd be like, yeah, I saw that show. I dug it a lot because there are so many overtures. It's crazy.

All right. So let's talk about the format of this limited series we're doing because once we run out of Indiana Jones, we move on to something else that you're going to get to pick. I know and I've already got it. I'm so excited. It's going to be a while because it's going to take a while. I know we had a lot of Dr. Jones to chew on first. I have to have to buckle up for this. Yep.

So, um, so after we open introduce each show, we'll explain which TV episode or movie we're doing on any given day with a few little tidbits or behind the scenes bit of info. And then we get into our segments. The first one is called. I don't know. I'm making this up as I go in this section. We just break down the plot and make fun of characters and their actions at every possible turn. Easy enough. We just kind of go through the episode.

Well, that shall be whatever. Making fun of these assholes as they Jeepers creepers around. The next section is called. It belongs in a museum. Oh, this is where we look at the historical figures, places, artifacts, and you know, the edgy attainment that George Lucas is trying to shove down our throats. And just break down all of the historical merit or anything we're talking about. That's where that'll go. And then finally, it's not the years, honey.

It's the mileage. Here we're going to develop kind of like develop a character sheet for Dr. Jones. Like it's an RPG, but we're going to start with him as a little, little blank slate nine year old boy. As a level one character. Right. And we're going to like literally just examine all of his like personality traits, skills he develops or demonstrates. Like as he levels up, as he goes along and we'll figure out how we get from the little kid to, you know, Raiders of the Lost Ark indie all the way to old ass man. Can we take points away every time he fucks up so badly?

I just, yeah, if he earns it, we're not going to, we're going to be doing a hard stats or just kind of evaluating him. So, yeah. And so it's like, you know, we're going to see this guy who goes from, you know, the little, the little, the little kids saying Jeepers creepers to kind of man of few words action hero to old windbag. You can't shut the fuck up. The old windbag really is my favorite. So that'll be it for this little episode zero pilot intro to our Indiana Jones series. Coming up next, you'll actually get to hear us talk about the very first adventure of little boy indie. So thank you.

If you have not yet, and you want to hear this whole series or check it out, go to chainsawhistory.com and click the subscribe button and you will not miss a thing. Bye. See ya. Obviously Indiana Jones is a fictitious character, but I wanted to make the other characters in the piece as accurate as possible to give you a real intimate picture of what some of these very famous historical figures were like. I would give an inch thick stack of research material, you know, telling about the real characters involved and what their life was really like. I mean, there are so many people who are pivotal to the way we think now in the last part of the 20th century, who existed at the last part of the 19th century and the beginning of the 20th century. It was a real joy to be able to work with all these important figures and be able to touch upon them with Indiana Jones's life. Hey, Ernie Hemingway from Chicago.

Indiana Jones. Most people call me Andy. Andy. Ernie. Thanks. I am a great lover of history and I think it's very important for young people to understand the humanities of which history is a major part. I think if young people see that people who have accomplished a lot are not that much different from the way they are, it gives them a little bit more freedom to think outside the box and to think that they can do great things.