Chainsaw History - No Time For Love Doctor Jones #3: Italy 1908

Episode Date: April 28, 2023

Welcome back to Chainsaw History’s limited series, "No Time For Love Doctor Jones,” where Jamie Chambers guides his unconvinced sister Bambi through the thrilling and controversial life of Indiana... Jones. This time they travel to Florence, Italy in The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles Episode 25: "Florence, May 1908."In this installment Indy’s Mom steps out on her husband Professor Jones with legendary opera composer Giacomo Puccini. The podcasting siblings discuss the cringe-inducing story of opera, doomed romance, and a one-eyed old man hustling pool in a dive bar at noon. Watch the episode and follow along with the hosts and see the incredible shots of the Tuscan countryside and hear music from Madame Butterfly and La Boheme.Get ready for romance, tears, and laughter as we dive into the ups and downs of cinema's most iconic archaeologist and whip-cracking hero!

Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Dr. Jones! No time for no! We've got company! Hey. Hey, Bambi. Hey? You want to know something? Okay. I'm famous for grabbing priceless relics and items of important historical significance. But that's not how I pay the bills. I gotta come clean.
Starting point is 00:00:25 Truth is, I'm a pool shark. The hustler. Watch me fleece this biker who totally isn't going to break my brittle bones. For $100. So welcome, everyone, to No Time for Love, Dr. Jones, where we follow the fictional adventures of Dr. Henry Walton Jones Jr. as he bounces off real-world history and important figures. I am your host, Jamie Chambers, and this is my sister, Bambi. Hello.
Starting point is 00:00:49 If you're listening to our voices now, you are one of our beloved $5 or more subscribers on Thank you. You make us feel like a lusty Italian opera composer, making us feel what it is to be alive. I have nothing for that. I've been listening to a lot of Italians over the last, like, 40 hours. I'm sure you have. And I've been to Italy. I know. So when you talk about today, it really hit me in the feels.
Starting point is 00:01:14 In the feelings. Okay. Maybe not the way the episode wanted to, but... So for anyone who wants to follow along with us on our little adventures of the life of Indiana Jones, you can find them on YouTube. There's a channel called Young Indie Restored, at least until the Walt Disney Corporation finds out about it, even though they don't seem to care enough about Young Indiana Jones. Because once again, it's not on Disney Plus. It's like you have to pay money and work at it if you even want to see this shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Well, they're trying to actually, you know, bury it because it's kind of terrible. Yeah, I saw there was apparently there, there was literally in development, like following this new Indiana Jones movie that's coming out this year. They were going to do a TV series where they were going to recast Indiana Jones and just do a TV show adventures, which personally I have no problem with. But I think they got so spooked by how horrible solo did for for Star Wars, the box office that the idea of recasting Harrison Ford ever again is. Walt Disney Corporation is like, no, and Harrison Ford is himself has gone on record is saying he thinks that with him being done, they just need to hang up Indie's hat now and just be done. But I don't know. Like I said, we're already talking about all these. We have we have many Indiana Jones already.
Starting point is 00:02:30 And we're going to be getting into one of them again today. Your favorite. Oh, he is so not my favorite. Although I at least in this episode, I had a lot of sympathy for Indie. Yeah. She was he's just a kid. This one. This one's not an adventure.
Starting point is 00:02:48 This one's not. Yeah, this is a whole different thing. Today's episode is titled Florence May 1908. Also known as your mom's a hoe, bro. It's it's not really an Indiana Jones who has an adventure this week. The adventure is had by Mrs. Anna Jones. Oh, yeah. We didn't even know she had a first name until now.
Starting point is 00:03:08 She gets a whole lot. She gets her to enjoy herself some Italian sausage. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, she's married to an abuser. Due to a stiff, terrifying wound up Scotsman. Oh, God. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:23 The fiery Italian man. So we're going to get to him. Okay. So it's sometime after our fun with child slavery in Morocco. Because like I said, all the timeline of when these when they originally intended these to take place. And then when they like put them out, don't match up. So like it's always kind of bouncing all over the place.
Starting point is 00:03:44 So let's just turn not think too hard about how he how fast they got from Morocco to Italy. And then they're going to reference going to Paris at the end of this. But that's also not what happens next. So just just just don't worry about it. So now the Jones family is going to Italy. Dr. Jones senior is giving a boring lecture in Rome and the rest of the family wisely decides to stay in Florence, which happens to be Jamie
Starting point is 00:04:08 Chambers favorite city on planet Earth. I have been there three times for, I could explore Florence for months. And holy shit in this episode, the photography is gorgeous. And it really takes advantage of how beautiful Tuscany is and how gorgeous Florence is. They go to Pisa for a little bit. Yeah. The cinematography in this one was also very, very good.
Starting point is 00:04:30 The best thing possible probably about this show, especially. Sorry kid, but for the young days. So yeah, it's been 15 years since I've been back to Florence. And I really, really miss it, especially after watching this. This whole thing gave me just this absolute deep nostalgia and longing to go back to Italy. So probably worth noting that while it's only our third episode in the chronological adventures of Indiana Jones, this was the very last episode
Starting point is 00:05:00 shot with Corey Carrier playing little Henry. So this was it for him. This was in his little free trip to Florence was his last stint. And yeah, he only did seven episodes in total. So we're already like almost halfway through his run. So we don't have to suffer through these episodes much longer. Like I said, at least in this one, he seemed like a normal kid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Of all of the episodes so far. This is the one where it didn't ask too much of him as an actor. And so yeah, he, so he only did seven and apparently they had a, they had another seven episodes, like the stories planned and broken out and everything, but those were completely scrapped. I did check a courier carrier is now 42 years old and I found him on Twitter. He stopped acting after playing this part. So I think this is basically it.
Starting point is 00:05:55 This episode, it represents the end of his, his film and television career. And he was like, I guess around 13 when he actually shot this, maybe a little bit younger. I know he did voiceover. He did some voiceovers and reshoots for the DVDs. But so I guess that's not true. But basically this was, he stopped after being young Indiana Jones. And this was the last full episodes he shot.
Starting point is 00:06:17 So anyway, so Corey on his social media account, he is really into basketball. He is also, and related to that, he's a fellow podcaster. He's apparently part of like a basketball podcast. So there you go. Good for you. Shout out to Corey. We give you shit. We talk crap, but all seriousness, like, you know, nothing but respect.
Starting point is 00:06:38 I mean, yeah, he was a kid actor. Yeah. He got paid to go hang out in awesome places and literally gets to be part of the history of Indiana Jones. So, so as long as nothing terrible happened to him, you know, during his time acting, which apparently that's a problem sometimes. Sometimes don't know, don't know anything about this guy other than that brief little, little tidbit.
Starting point is 00:06:59 So, huh, cool. Good for you, buddy. Hope your, yeah. Hope your time was, was well spent and not horrific. And it's also weird that he's like just a few years younger than us. Yeah. No, he's like older than our baby sister. Older than my wife.
Starting point is 00:07:15 All right. Lots of people are older than your wife. In this section, we talk about the plot and major story points of the episode, such as they are. So we begin in a random dive bar in the 1990s. Yeah, it was the most random thing. Just jarring. And apparently old Indiana Jones likes to go for, you know, drinking at noon.
Starting point is 00:07:45 And hustling. Cause she's hanging there. He's just hanging out there. And you see this, uh, like, like Amazon biker mama is, is shooting pool. And being good at it. Yeah. Yeah. She beats some random asshole.
Starting point is 00:07:59 And you can tell, I get, it looks like her and her boyfriend, who's like, there's just big, hairy, dumb guy. They're hustling people at the bar. And Indy, Indy's just over there drinking. Um, and so it was like, any more takers. You all afraid to take on a woman. It was very cringey. You will.
Starting point is 00:08:14 The whole scene was so cringey. And, and, and, and when you juxtapose it to the actual like main episode, it just doesn't go at all. Jarring. None of it makes any sense. It's so funny. Um, so he's like, you old timer, how about you? And he suggests a hundred dollar bet just right off the bat.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Didn't even try to work him up to it. And old Indy is like all about it. He's like, steep, steep, but a challenge. So they rack up for a game of nine ball and then Indy performs a damn near like perfect break and sinks a few balls. Yeah. And then he runs the table. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:50 And in the meantime, he's, he starts telling this, this young woman a story. Yeah. Yeah. The biker mama asked. And yeah. And he, she asks and he starts selling. Never give old Indy an excuse. Cause all she asked was literally how did you make, can you show me how to do that shot
Starting point is 00:09:08 was kind of what she was really going for. And instead she literally is what she gets is that comes from a thorough understanding of physics, which of course is all the excuse Indy needs to begin a long winded story about the time his father was on a world lecture tour and brought his family to Florence. Yeah. And this is, and that's where the story turns. So it's like, so we're starting with pool hustling in a dive bar and then we're talking about physics and then we're going to talk about the story that we're about to get into.
Starting point is 00:09:39 So what the fuck, any of these things have to do with each other. These writers, I hope the drugs were excellent. They had to have been. Cause we just go like, this is just non sequitur shit. So we're going to go to a very different kind of story. So, so as he goes, he, he talks about how his dad's on the lecture tour. They go to Florence. He goes, a city where everyone was in love with someone or maybe just in love with love.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Extra creepy. The architecture was breathtaking built on a man and God. Yeah. That's what he said. And he, and he's not wrong. Cause like the, as a, it dissolves over several shots of just like priceless artwork and sculpture and just the beauty of the buildings. I mean, like I said, Florence, you cannot just, you walk in any random patch of that city
Starting point is 00:10:27 and it is just something that will take your breath away. And they, they get some really good shots in this show. I'm incredibly biased. So like I've been to many of the places that were featured in this episode. Like I've wandered the streets of Florence. I've been to Pisa and yeah, I really want to like, I should have been drinking a bottle of Keanti. I want to go.
Starting point is 00:10:48 I really must. I will eventually. I haven't done nearly as much. It's on my, it's on my list. I haven't done nearly as much travel, international travels I would like to do, but I have been to Italy several times. So old Indy's monologue about the beauty of Italian art just kind of keeps on going for a minute until we see a statue that I don't recognize, but it shows an angel
Starting point is 00:11:08 holding like a woman who's like collapsing backwards and the angels cupping her breast. Yep. And then it pans down to little Indy being quite interested in this image. He's like, some consider me an angel. I mean, he sees a lot of naked artwork for the probably for the first time in his life because he's raised by these two prudes. Like his mother never shows even much of her neck. Like she wears these high collared shit and she wears these hats.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Like, well, that was, it was a kind of period appropriate fashion and for, especially for, you know, a woman, you know, married woman, American middle class theoretically, but like I said, it's like their way of middle class. Like said, you think of that. And then you think that they that in that little Henry's first international trip was to all these like very repressive Middle Eastern type places where there's not a lot of female flesh on display. And then suddenly he's just looking at titties everywhere.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Little Henry getting titties, titties in the paintings, titties in the statues. Yeah. Well, and then all the other shit that's going on. Yes. And now we're going to get to that. So Henry's quite impressed and he goes, but the most passionate love of all was the opera. And there we get to what we're going to be getting into. So we see the Jones family going up the stairs of the opera house and a rich old Italian lady.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Well, actually the rich old Italian host. He's saying that they must stay as the Jones family must stay as guests at their mansion. And she was like, no, I want my own space. And you're like, no, we insist. Yeah. They were like, we would not take no for an answer. And there's a lot of that in this episode. So, so much of that.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Even though I will say having spent a lot of time with Italians that is not inaccurate. They are very, they're very emotional and they're very sort of pushy with their emotions and what they want, but that is done with, with love and generosity. You just had to kind of get used to this boundaries don't exist so much for Italians. Like the way they do for Americans, especially they're just some key cultural differences. Yeah. Well, and I mean, especially in this time period, I don't see it having changed much. Having.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Yeah. But at least people have changed. Society has changed. Yeah. This little button up bitch had no fucking idea. So yeah. So she's the old lady, you know, teaches Henry to say my first opera in Italian. La mia prima opera.
Starting point is 00:13:37 And then we cut to box seats where the Joneses and Miss Seymour are watching La Bohème. And so we're watching sort of reaction shots to the music. And by the way, not only lots of scenes of the opera themselves, but most of the score of this episode is actually from Puccini operas. Like there's very little original score. They just kind of pull and kind of remix some of Puccini's greatest hits to be the background of this whole story. So, so we're seeing all these reaction shots, the music and you see Anna, Mrs. Jones, and she's like deeply moved like to tears. She holds her husband's hand and is feeling super romantic, you know, as things are going on.
Starting point is 00:14:17 And we see Dr. Jones looks completely like stone face. He's got a mouth. Yeah. He literally gives no fuck. Mount Rushmore look in his face. It's like, oh, yes, you know, your opera. And he like handed her a tissue or a handkerchief or whatever and was like, man. Wipe away your lady tears.
Starting point is 00:14:35 And then you see a little Henry closes his eyes slowly. And I'm honestly not sure whether the show is trying to tell us he was like, like his mother or he's just like falling asleep because he's bored. He's this hyperactive little ADHD kid. And now they're like fucking opera. It could have been a little bit of a little bit of column B. He's enjoying the music, but he's also lulled. I think they're trying to tell us that he was deeply moved. He was on Prozac and then we see the conductor who's a swarthy, mustachioed Italian with big expressive dark eyes. And by the way, Swirl or that's Puccini.
Starting point is 00:15:15 That is our historical figure of the day. And I will say they got a guy who looks quite a bit like the photographs of Puccini. Okay. Looks like the dude and probably acted quite a bit like the dude to at least in terms of like how Puccini is known. So Henry asks this week's leading question while they're in the middle of the opera. I guess, mother, do people really fall in love that quick? And what is your reaction to that question? Yeah, ish ish.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Henry is correctly told to shut the fuck up. And when a theater performance is going on, the music and the singing swell and we see the conductor is just as swept up in the emotion as the audience. Anna Jones cries at the tragic death of Mimi on stage at the end of La Bohème. The theater erupts in applause and the handsome conductor takes a bow. So backstage, the rich Italian lady is trying to talk the conductor into going out to party with them. He's got like a cold rag over his eyes like, no, I am too tired. There are two Italians speaking to each other in Italy, but they're speaking in English with thick Italian accents instead, which they don't do through the rest of the episode.
Starting point is 00:16:33 There's plenty of times they speak in Italian, but it's awkwardly written in this scene. He has his eyes covered. Why would he even know to speak English? Anyway, it's stupid. It's called bad writing. But yeah, he takes slowly, he takes the cloth off his eyes and then he sees Mrs. Jones. And then all of a sudden he is super up to parties. Mrs. Jones and me.
Starting point is 00:16:58 That was terrible. You should be ashamed. I'm ashamed for all of this. Yeah, so the old lady is like, your excuse is unacceptable, maestro. Allow me to introduce Mrs. Anna Jones of New Jersey, America. And that's when, like you said, he had this moment and literally all his vision is just filled with this lovely blonde woman. This lovely face completely draped head to toe and cloth. And you know, it's like, you know, to their credit, like they didn't cast like a supermodel beautiful woman to be Anna Jones.
Starting point is 00:17:30 She's pretty. She's very pretty. And she's this very sort of soft woman. Soft is the perfect word for her. Her voice is soft. Everything about her is soft. Yeah, she's like a flower petal. And it's like, you think of that and then you think of this stuffy academic and real and then realize that these are the parents of one of the most grizzled hard ass people ever to hit the screen.
Starting point is 00:17:49 It's so weird. Um, so yes. But you can see, I mean, at least in that frame, you can see where he. No, he opens up. He sees this beautiful. He sees Mrs. Anna Jones and spurring. He is no longer tired. You could call Mr. Puccini horned up.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Yeah, he was, he was, he was down after that. He was like, oh, we want to go out and drink and smoke and cavort with a nine year old. Let us do these. Yeah, he had no fucking problems. Like being right around little little Henry. So they go out to, they go out to some bar where it looks like a lot of the performers are drinking and they're all hanging out and drinking a bunch of Kianti. And this is, you know, probably two o'clock in the morning and Henry asked the dude who's been checking out his mom all night. He's like, did you write that opera?
Starting point is 00:18:45 Yes. This, of course, is Giacomo Puccini. And Henry's like, yeah, your, your, your opera made my mom cry and. Yeah, he took a little Henry and he was like, you're my wingman now, dude. He's like, you're going to help me. So I want to tap. I want to tap your mom. That's so wrong.
Starting point is 00:19:04 So we get a long shot of Anna Jones, like staring at the Italian musician and she might as well have been like biting her lip and crossing and uncrossing her legs. Like both of these people are so horny. Yeah, except for she was very horny episode. To her credit, though, she was trying to get her husband to be horny for her. And he was not having it. Nope. He gave no fucks. He is a fucking just stiff ass board.
Starting point is 00:19:29 So yes, she confesses that. Was he even at the party? Yeah, he was. I think. Oh yeah, he did. He had a. He was just sitting ramrod straight and sipping his wine. That's right, because he came over and threw his arm around him.
Starting point is 00:19:44 No, because he was a Puccini. He was like just buttering up the whole family. And. He's like, I shall take care of your wife for you while you're gone. Yeah. Right to get to that. She confesses that the music did indeed make her cry and Puccini says, then you understand great love.
Starting point is 00:20:02 So little Henry hopefully explains to the horny composer that they're going to be in Florence for the whole week while his dad is totally gone, giving his dad's giving another boring lecture in Rome. That is a wise choice. Puccini declares. He's like an in the whole time he is pouring everybody just massive glasses of Chianti, like even when they object, but once again, Italians do not give me shit about your objections, your personal boundaries.
Starting point is 00:20:27 And he's like, nope, I'm getting everybody drunk tonight. Yes. So he's like, that is a wise choice. Florence breeze art and culture. Rome sweats trying to keep up, which is another very Italian thing to do, which is to shit on the other neighboring Italian cities. Okay. Like for example, like Puccini even mentions in this episode.
Starting point is 00:20:45 He's from the town of Luca, which is the Italian town I've spent the most time in in my life. And I thought about you and they said that. The people of Luca, the people of Luca talk more shit about the people from Pisa, which is 20 miles away more than anything else in the world is so funny that like there's certain like Italian things. So like Puccini getting a dig on Rome is very on brand. And I've been to both Rome and Florence and I agree with him.
Starting point is 00:21:15 Fuck Rome in comparison. Like you should go, but if you have to choose Florence is so much better. And Anna is just staring at Puccini. He's like, he's a very spicy meatball. But then she looks at her husband. She does. Please, please show some personality or anything. Please love me.
Starting point is 00:21:31 So Henry explains he'll be spending his week learning the laws of physics, which is supposed to explain why in 84 years he associates playing pool with this trip to Italy, where his mother got her groove back. It's really rough. So Puccini works on getting Miss Seymour drunk and suggestible too. So he like pours her more wine. He goes, Miss Seymour in Italy too much is barely enough. You're in my country.
Starting point is 00:21:58 You must let me show you the way. So he insists on escorting the family to Pisa the next day so that Henry can perform physics experiments. Oh yeah. He's like, I'll take care of your wife for you while you're gone. Yes, he specifically says, because I wrote this down the exact quote, Professor Jones, I'm offering my services to your family. I'm the happy owner of a touring motor car.
Starting point is 00:22:20 I would gladly show them to Pisa tomorrow. A guided tour. Okay. And again, he seemed to up and up except for, you know, he's not. His intentions are not honorable. Not even a little bit. So he's literally got his arm around this dude. He's like, I'm going to fuck your wife and hopefully steal her away from you
Starting point is 00:22:37 and your son because I'm a great man. And so he says that he's not busy tomorrow because he's searching for inspiration for his next opera. This is such a weird episode. Yeah, it is. I just, I can't express that enough how fucking weird this episode is. Yeah. And this is maybe our one time where Indy's mom is the main character
Starting point is 00:23:02 because she's truly, she's the main character of this story. Although I did find it funny that this, in this episode, they had more fun as a family because Dr. Jones was not there. Everyone seemed to be having a super grand time because they were like, that's not here. We don't have to worry about him beating us tonight. So yeah, back at the whole mood of this episode is so much lighter than the other one. Except, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:33 So back at the rich Italian mansion, Miss Seymour is ruthlessly attending to Henry's physics lessons, ordering him to write down everything she says and repeat it. And you see Anna literally because they're setting up, they've got this whole like suite with its own sitting room and everything in the mansion. And so she literally like puts a picture of her and her husband up and caresses it lovingly, like as if she's trying to remind herself
Starting point is 00:23:55 that I'm a married woman. I shouldn't be masturbating to fantasies about an Italian's mustache tickling my thighs. Oh, that's so wrong. She's feeling a little guilty. So she's like, yes, I am married, married, married. Please stop. Please stop.
Starting point is 00:24:09 I will do anything if you stop. So gross. Anna gets her husband out the door. He's like running late for his cab and she presses a flower into his book. So let's get, she's so fucking sweet. She is. This woman's just a soft little flower petal of a creature. She just wants to be loved.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Poor thing. They kiss goodbye. And then Dr. Jones, Junior, take good care of your mother. And he doesn't say it, but he's like, don't worry, dad. I think Mr. Puccini is going to take real good care of mom. But yeah, she was like packing his stuff and being the lovely wife. And this was the one time he doesn't drag her along to like attend to him and to make sure he didn't like, like, because he doesn't seem to be able
Starting point is 00:24:48 to tie his own shoelaces most of the time. Yeah. How did he give up his right arm? You get, at least for the moment, the understanding of why Henry didn't have any respect for his dad until he was like in his thirties. And his dad was old. So anyway, the writers keep trying to make the physics lessons and the romantic storylines like complimentary.
Starting point is 00:25:10 So they try to have lines of the physics lessons sort of thematically go with what's going on in the romantic storyline, but it's very infested and very bad. It was needed a few extra drafts before they went to shooting this one. But they spent all their money on the location, the beautiful location shooting instead of a better team of writers. The moment Dr. Jones is in a cab, Henry is writing down, the farther an object is away, the harder it is for the force to affect them.
Starting point is 00:25:37 And now that Dr. Jones is going away, his influence on his wife also goes away. And suddenly she, she starts being quite as well-behaved. So we get a lingering shot of Anna trying on various oversized hats. Like which of these three hats is the perfect hat for today? And she finally goes with one that's like covered in blue ribbons and she sticks in this hat pin that could easily be a murder weapon. Well, I mean, that is how you wore hats. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:03 You had big hair. Yeah. I mean, otherwise your hat's going to fly off when you're driving a car down a dirt road. And these women have long hair that they pinned up. Yep. Which is crazy. Yeah. I'm sure when you took that down, it was like down to past her thighs.
Starting point is 00:26:18 But we never see that at least not even in this episode. You never really get to see her with literally with her hair down. Yeah. No, she was buttoned up the whole time. So yeah, we have Puccini driving like a maniac down an Italian dirt road with Miss Seymour, Anna and little Henry. But they were all so happy for like the first time. They're having an absolute fucking blast.
Starting point is 00:26:41 They're riding down the car. Puccini is like swerving down and then laughing like a fucking lunatic. And they're like, not only do seatbelts not even exist yet. Yeah. Henry's just standing in the car. They're swaying back and forth. This is great. He's holding onto his neck like they're riding a horse.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Like this would be such a crime in the modern world. But it's like, oh. He covered his eyes at one point. Yeah, obviously. Mamma Mia literally says that. And then he's like, Henry, who do you think of first and first thought of the self-propelled car? And Henry gives the very American answer.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Henry Ford. Fuck Henry Ford. It was Leonardo da Vinci in the 1500s. And he's like, because he, of course, Italians also very on brand, how fucking proud of being Italian they are. So he talks about, he's like, Italians are dreamers. They are innovators because they are dreamers. They take the time to dream the impossible and they sing.
Starting point is 00:27:39 And then he starts singing, take me out to the ballgame to patronize his American friends. And they fell for it. Hook, lion and sinker while they all gloriously sing. Yeah, even Ms. Seymour is by the, take me out to the ballgame. Hey, you know what? Mrs. Seymour actually like, she's shown in this episode too. Honestly, Ms. Seymour grows on you in this episode because she seems like such a prissy old bitch, but she shows a lot of humanity and empathy in this episode.
Starting point is 00:28:11 Yeah. You know, and it's like she was, she's like a stiff kind of school matron, but at the same time she starts to loosen the fuck up. Well, I've been, she's been traveling with his family now for, for, you know, at least six, seven months. So, and she's already known Dr. Jones since he was a kid. Yeah. And this is the episode.
Starting point is 00:28:34 Henry learns a third language. Yeah. Yeah. We already saw him getting his first little Italian lessons at the very beginning at the opera. So we get gorgeous establishing shots of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and you see Henry splashing his mother's dress in muddy puddles like peppa fucking pig. But unlike Dr. Jones senior, who would have been furious.
Starting point is 00:28:54 She's, oh, Henry, use little scamp. Oh, stop it. And so then hyperactive Henry's running up and down the tower stairs while Miss Seymour shuffles her dry old bones up to the top. She was just slowed down a little bit from when we saw her like just flying up the pyramids. Yeah. But, you know, it's been a few months and her arthritis might be kicking in. Well, and also she was drinking too much last night.
Starting point is 00:29:19 Yeah. So she's hung over as fuck and she's like, God, I gotta climb the stairs. This kid who's literally running around because he's like this ball of manic energy. So they can do the most fucking stupidly dangerous thing I can think of. So in addition to history, we get some science class today, kids. Miss Seymour takes out two irons. One that is much bigger and heavier than the other. And Henry makes the erroneous assumption that if they drop them both at the same time,
Starting point is 00:29:47 the heavier one will land first. That's what Aristotle talk episodes with Seymour, but Galileo thought otherwise. So then they do the, they recreate Galileo's famous experiment where he drops off, uses the, the leaning tower to make it easy to drop even though he flings them, which makes it not as useful. You're supposed to drop them exactly at the same time point, whatever. No, but he just fucking flings because I'm surprised that he didn't hit someone. No, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:13 He nearly kills his mother and her new boyfriend. Yeah. And they were like only a little, like a few feet away. Like, oh, look, it landed at the same time. Hurray. Yep. So they learned that objects of the same density fall at the same rate, regardless of their total mass.
Starting point is 00:30:30 So yay physics. And that's why. And that's why he can shoot some fucking bull. So Puccini and Anna get to know each other better. And we learned she's from Virginia. So we actually get an actual detail about this woman. Not New Jersey. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:45 And Puccini, that's when he tells that he grew up in Luca, which was only 20 miles away from where they had in, in Pisa. And he said that he had walked to Pisa as a young man to see his first opera, which inspired his career choice for life. And his father had died when he was five and his mother had sacrificed for his music lessons. But then she died before he became successful. So then he gives one hell of a quote. An artist is a man who looks at beauty through a pair of looking glasses,
Starting point is 00:31:13 which as he breathes becomes clouded over. He takes off his handkerchief and cleans his glasses. He sees clearly again, but with the first breath, the absolute beauties failed again. It is only the approximation that which we can create. Arts is elusive. It is not like the beauty of a woman unquote. And he's like staring at her like he could just make her dress explode off her body. Well, he gives this like deep ass quote about art.
Starting point is 00:31:42 And she just drank it up. Oh, she is. She might be a little moist at this point. Yeah. Stop with the sex references. It's so gross. Yeah. But don't worry.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Little Captain C block saves the day and interrupts their moment. Oh, yeah. Henry is, he is definitely Mr. Cockblock in this episode. I mean, for reals. Yeah, which, you know, in this case, fair enough that is his fucking mom. Yeah, that's his fucking mom. Get your fucking hands off my mom, you creepy fuck. Even though at this point, Henry is not.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Henry still is. Henry doesn't know that Puccini's up to no good. He's still a fairy. At this point, neither does Miss Seymour. Yeah. They're both like, okay, it's been a great day. And so far at the moment, we're still okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:30 We're, we're looking at some more. All we're seeing is the longing looks. And is this where they saw the statue of David because. No, that was at the beginning. That's back in Florence. No, they, they see it later, but it's back in Florence. Cause I know, I know that exactly what I said. That's not the actual David, but that's there.
Starting point is 00:32:48 There is a recreation that was done and set out right in front of the museum. I've seen that exact statue in person myself. Um, but anyway, uh, but, but at the moment they're still in Pisa. And when I said so far, so we're just seeing these looks like, okay, these people are into each other, but they're all behaving. It's just a nice day. Um, and then Puccini winds that his wife is a total bitch and that conflict and just ruined his ability to create music.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Um, so now they keep their distance from each other and his adult son tries to keep the peace between the estranged couple. Um, so now we, we cut back to the mansion in Florence and Henry is getting yet another physics lesson when a, when all of the flowers and Florence arrive. And that's what she said. She was like, these are for you. She's like, and then she's like, who?
Starting point is 00:33:36 She's like, card. Um, and it's funny as the flowers arrive, uh, suddenly Miss Seymour. Oh wait. Suddenly. He should be ashamed of that too. Um, she, so like, she springs up out of her seat. Like, like her spidey sense suddenly hits for the first time. She's like, something's up.
Starting point is 00:33:57 You do not send that amount of flowers. Yeah, they were, it was a big display. It's a big display. And the card reads, do my beautiful senora Anna from your admirer Puccini. So she, mom quickly lies and says, they're for everyone. She sure does. She's like, she does not want everybody hips that he just bought. And I mean, that would, that would be ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Even if she was single. An obscene amount of flowers. But again, it is the Italian way to over fucking do it. Yeah. Giving no fucks that this woman has a family. Her son right there. And like, yes, like you said, right there. He was trying to use him as, you know, a little wingman,
Starting point is 00:34:41 but ends up being his, his. Doesn't work out. No, but Anna, when Anna did the light doorstop, when Anna made the lie that it was all for all of them. Like you just said, Miss Seymour is like, how very Italian. Next week, cut to Puccini at an opera rehearsal, just screaming at the actress, the actress on stage. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:02 I was like, give me passion. Give me love, you know, nothing of suffering, but you will. And, and like the woman has like a, she's dressed as a geisha. So you see, this is madam butterfly. The one and only opera, I think I know anything about. I'm still confused. Like if this is all supposed to be within a week, like he was conducting labo in rehearsing for this.
Starting point is 00:35:22 And then he like leaves two days later. Like what the fuck is going on? Operas take months, but it's just trying to, like the show is just trying to run through some Puccini greatest hits. Yeah. Like, but because labo women, madam butterfly are like, his two top tier, most well known works. So anyway, this is poor woman has a nervous breakdown
Starting point is 00:35:41 and runs off the stage crying because her boss sucks. Yeah. Saying some very unkind things in Italian. Um, so then, uh, and you see that, that the Jones is minus Dr. Jones, who's still in Rome, um, or up there watching the rehearsal. And so Puccini comes up there and asked Miss Seymour, like what she thinks of unrequited love.
Starting point is 00:36:00 And she very pointedly says, it has its place in romantic novels and operas, like fiction, motherfucker. You need to behave yourself. Those flowers. I'm on to you. Um, and then Puccini Henry's right there. Yeah. And Puccini, um, tells Henry, uh, they have this talk about
Starting point is 00:36:20 like, if he likes music and he's like, yeah, I had a piano teacher who sucked and then he's like, yeah, I had a music teacher who sucked to like, you know, kicked me if I ever hit a wrong note, but then my mother got me, uh, a great teacher. And then now here I am. So he's like, he's trying to suck up to Miss Seymour by saying, he literally says having the right teacher will
Starting point is 00:36:41 make, you know, makes all the difference. And so I was like, yes, Miss Seymour. See, I am good guy. And she's like, nobody, I'm on to you. Um, so it's, and then he's like, Anna, why are you so quiet? And, and she's like, Madam Butterfly, such a sad story and the music is haunting. So it takes score more points.
Starting point is 00:37:00 He runs over to the score right off of his little stand and he grabs a page and he signs it and gives it to Anna. So she will own a piece of Madam Butterfly. Which is really sweet and really romantic and also really inappropriate, especially right in front of her kid. But okay, cool. So that night, Mama Jones is tucking little Henry into bed. He's like looking at the piece of music and he's like, oh,
Starting point is 00:37:24 this looks weird, but she's trying to get scratched. She's explaining, yeah, the music and he's like, how the notes follow each other. It's a language all by itself. It can make you feel things and she starts to sing, uh, you know, a little bit of an aria from Madam Butterfly. Then we cut to a montage of lovely scenes of Puccini spending time with Anna and Henry, both together and
Starting point is 00:37:44 separately. He's just, we, he's clearly spending several days hanging out with the, with the fam and we get a bunch more of those breathtaking. Like there's one point there's this, they're, they're like looking out from a hillside over the Tuscan countryside at magic hour. And it's just like one of the most like gorgeous things you've
Starting point is 00:38:00 ever seen. But we only can see it through a weird grainy lens. Yeah. And then, then another move, then we dissolve to just the breathtaking architecture of Florence. I say breathtaking a lot because it is breathtaking. Um, and that's when Puccini makes his first movie, just slides his, he goes for the, the arm around the waist, uh,
Starting point is 00:38:21 you know, maneuver on Anna and she, and she rejects that ship. A hundred percent. I will give this woman credit because she puts up quite a resistance. Like she does not send mixed signals. She literally says, please don't. And of course he does not. Don't.
Starting point is 00:38:38 This begins what I would call the Pepe Le Pew portion of the episode where he does not take no for an answer. He's not leaving this woman alone. It's very cringy. It doesn't think about what he's going to do to her family, even if regardless of anything else, he is, he is a selfish bastard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:55 This guy's a piece of shit. And he explains. I mean, and he literally chases her down a flight of stairs and almost makes a scene. Yeah. To the point where Henry noticed. Yeah. And the whole time while he's chasing her, he's like, you
Starting point is 00:39:10 brought, you know, you brought life and art and music back to my soul. Like, like it would be a sin for them to ignore what God has brought together. Cause of course, you know, his horniness is a. You can't see me rolling my eyes, but. His horniness is all because of God, you see. Um, and she is clear.
Starting point is 00:39:31 She's like, I am married. She is not on board with any of this. Yeah. My kids right there, dude. So she tells everybody that she's not feeling well and they need to go home. And the next morning you see Mrs. Jones not eating at breakfast.
Starting point is 00:39:44 And she's disappointed that Dr. Jones did not respond to her recent letter and has not written them while he's gone. She's like, oh yeah, but I know he's really busy, but she's like, I really, really need my husband to. I need a fraction right now. Damn it. Cause I've got a horny Italian who I'm very massively attracted
Starting point is 00:40:00 to. And he's like, I'll get under my skin with all this art and music and. You will not leave her alone. So she decided. She's wearing me down, dude. Where's the letter? Come on, give me something.
Starting point is 00:40:10 And so, you know, Mrs. Seymour tries to save her when she was like lessons, Henry. And then they wrote, she was like, no, let's spend some time. Yep. We're still hanging out. We're still a family. Yep. So the three of them go sightseeing.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Cause she, cause Anna already shut down cause Henry's like, maybe we can go riding around and miss Virginia's car. She's like, no. And then that's when Miss Seymour was like, let's do lessons. And then Anna's like, no, how about we just go have a good time. Just the three of us. And so they do. And they do.
Starting point is 00:40:40 And so the, the family's doing tour shit. They visit the Basilica de Santa Croce, which I have been to. It is where many famous Italians find their, it's like the, one of the most honored places, uh, like a famous Italian can be, especially for like the arts. It is where Dante Alighieri's empty tomb resides. Like to this day Florence is fighting the place where he died to get his body back, but they're like, no, you banished him.
Starting point is 00:41:06 So fuck you. So he has an empty tomb with muses weeping over it in the Basilica, along with like, um, I was at the tomb of, um, uh, Marconi, the inventor of the radio is, uh, is buried there along with a bunch of famous, like, uh, um, I'm going to bumble it. I'm not, don't have notes on that. But anyway, a bunch of famous Italians, uh, including another opera composer like Rossini, uh, is buried in the Basilica.
Starting point is 00:41:32 So they're, they're in this beautiful, uh, place, checking out all the art and sculpture and, and tombs. And we see Puccini totally stalking Mrs. Jones. Yeah, it got real weird real quick. Yeah. I was worried that it was going to get like even darker because at first like, she was not into it. Like she wasn't into it at all.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Other, other, I mean, she, you saw the look in her eyes. Like she was very moved and interested, but she like, but she was very clear. She had no intentions of doing anything. And he kept like this point, he's stalking her from the fucking shadows and trying to grab her. Um, yeah. And she was like, nah, dude, the whole time.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Yeah. And then finally that's when, when Henry starts seeing, he's like, Oh, what's Mr. Puccini here? Why does mom look so upset? Is there having this argument from there and Miss Seymour tries to drag Henry away? And that's when Henry stops being so cool with Mr. Puccini. Cause he's like, I don't know what's going on, but my mom is not happy. I don't like anybody making my mom cry.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Yeah. He's like, my mom's having feelings and they need to stop. Like Puccini is lucky he died in the twenties because if Indiana Jones had run into him later in the fucking 30s, he was just like, I think I owe you some, I think I owe you some Indiana Jones style ass kicking. Um, so Anna tells, uh, it tells the dude. He's like, you have to stop and he just keeps pushing.
Starting point is 00:42:53 And in typical dude fashion, it's still all about him. He's like, you, you make me alive. You bring me music. It's all about me, me, me. Uh, yeah. And she was, and she's like, leave me alone. I mean, she says it very clear. But.
Starting point is 00:43:08 But pushy dudes be pushy dudes. Pushy dudes. And, and Puccini tells her that he'll be waiting for her in the gardens that night. He names it, but I don't remember which garden it was. Um, so we go to Henry getting a physics lesson. He's rubbing his hands together, which is just suggestive and weird with the rest of this episode.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Um, and Anna's like, I'm going to go out for a walk. Yeah, that's the ticket. I won't be gone long. Only gone 10 minutes top. See you soon. But just in case I'm not putting Henry to bed. And then boom, she's right there and goes to Puccini. And we see them spend a magical evening together.
Starting point is 00:43:51 We see them kissing. Um, they go out and do all the stuff. We see them kissing and buying flowers and walking around and while that goes backstage to madam butterfly. Now the episode makes it all look very chase, but I don't believe that I'm convinced these two people fucked. That was the whole reason she snuck out. It's, it's very possible.
Starting point is 00:44:13 It's also possible. She didn't go either way. Either way, either way, she was certainly not behaving. She let herself go at this point. She's like, I'm, you, this woman, you clearly having been stuck for a decade with fucking Dr. Jones. Yeah. She wanted some romance.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Emotional. Like even if it's not straight up abuse, it's a neglect. A man who barely cracks a smile versus this expressive Italian who just tells her she's a goddess and that he has nothing without her. I mean, you can sort of sympathize with poor Anna here. Yeah. And when you know she's going to be dead in a few years, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:44:54 I hope she, I hope she got railed by that. That's for the Italian. Poor little Henry. So she comes back later that night long after Henry goes to bed and then is busted by Miss Seymour. Yeah. Miss Seymour is waiting up for her. Oh, you went out a long time.
Starting point is 00:45:10 Did you? And so Miss Seymour tries to be a little coy, but, but is trying to, to guide this younger woman who's, he's clearly, she's like, she's like Florence is, you know, a romantic and beautiful city, but we will be leaving with the family soon. Right. Mrs. Jones.
Starting point is 00:45:31 And she was like, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. So the next day Miss Seymour and Henry are, have gone off to Galileo's telescope because we're still on the Galileo. Yep. We're in the museum for science.
Starting point is 00:45:45 And Anna is supposedly off shopping air quotes. Yeah. Shopping. And then he goes and he looks through the telescope and what does he find? He sees his mom and Puccini. Having some tea or whatever. And at one point, sharing a rather intimate embrace.
Starting point is 00:46:05 They don't think they kiss it where you can see, but he sees them like hugging in a way that's very clearly not cool. And little Henry has a fucking fit at this point. He's like, he storms out of the museum. One day I'm going to be able to kick the shit out of people like this, but right now I'm nine. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:46:26 So he impotently just storms off fucking. Yeah. And so then where we see. This is where the, this is where the sympathy for little Henry Jones at this point comes in, because you can just see the fucking rage. Yeah. He is not cool with this.
Starting point is 00:46:43 And then later he's going to literally have his heart broken for at least an hour. So at the cafe, you see Puccini and Anna there. And finally he's like, for some reason, he has to leave for Milan Milan Milan Milan. That's a different, that's a different movie. Very different movie. They had to leave for Milan that night.
Starting point is 00:47:03 And he's like, and then asked Anna to come with him. And yes, he wants, he wants this woman to abandon her husband and nine year old son to fuck off with a guy she'd met. Just mad. A few days ago. Because he loves her. He goes, I love you. I don't want to live without you with you by my side.
Starting point is 00:47:20 I can create again. Don't break my heart. And she's like, this is moving too fast. And then wait. She's like, excuse me, excuse me. And she just takes off like crying. I mean, infidelity was one thing, but completely fucking abandoning her family is a totally
Starting point is 00:47:36 different thing. She's like, I thought this was a, this was supposed to be fun and eat fuck love situation. Yeah. And then I go back to my family, not, not literally me just suddenly changing my life. And whole thing. And so, so he insists, but he has total faith and work that
Starting point is 00:47:53 he's, he's a romantic through and through. So that night, Henry gives his mother a dose of guilt where he's like, Oh, you know, were you shopping? She's like, yeah, I bought a scarf. And he's like, yeah, I saw you with Mr. Puccini. Funny about that. She was like, Oh, I ran into him.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Yeah. Funny, funny coincidence that and then it's followed up by a scene with Miss Seymour really showing off that she actually is a, a very empathetic and kind person deep down beneath her British pristiness because she doesn't, she could, and honestly is in a position to very harshly judge and come down on Anna. Yeah, especially because that's, you know, Dr. Jones is her boy.
Starting point is 00:48:38 It's her boy and her boss. Yeah. But at this point she feels like she's part of this family. And she knows what a stiff dick he is. You know, she, you can tell she has a lot of empathy. And so Anna, and she, so she just kind of patiently reminds her of her responsibilities and her reactions. And Anna's all flustered and doesn't know how to feel.
Starting point is 00:48:58 And so she just confides everything and says, yeah, he's asked me to run away from him and little Henry is eavesdropping the whole time. And now finds out his mother is at least considering ditching him forever. To be with this other dude with this opera composer. Can you imagine? It's like his mother, his one solace, the one fucking person
Starting point is 00:49:20 who like loves him and pays attention to him. Yep. And so there's this moment where he thinks, oh shit, my mom is going to fucking bail. And so you see him and he does not want anyone to know he found this out. So he runs back into bed and throws the covers over his head and is probably sobbing his little Henry eyes out.
Starting point is 00:49:38 I just don't know that Corey Carrier could have really carried that. So they just went with the covers over the head, which is probably a wise choice. And that's fine because, I mean, you really feel like he was, I mean, of all of the acting in this, he actually, he gave it all. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:58 And this was his last full episode. So he had, this was after he'd warmed up with the character quite a bit before he shot this. So anyway, we cut to the train station. So we're past this sweeping shot of a big steam locomotive. And you see the Fedenza sign, which is the Italian name for Florence. And you, and you see Anna Jones standing there in her full
Starting point is 00:50:20 dress, the steam washing over her. And you see Puccini. And she's walking bristly. She's walking and Puccini calls out to her holding flowers in his hands. Anna, Anna. And she walks right past him. Doesn't even give him a look.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Well, she does for a second. She kind of turns halfway and then that's the moment where Dr. Jones steps off the train. And she throws herself into his arms. He's like, oh, Anna, what a nice surprise. And she kisses him and says how much he missed him. Yep. And she can't wait to get home to bang him.
Starting point is 00:50:52 She's like, let's always be together. Let's not, please don't leave me alone. Don't leave me alone. You have no idea how horny I am. Apparently he really, really loves this woman too. Cause he was just like, oh, okay. But he was just sort of pleasantly surprised. Oh, that's very nice.
Starting point is 00:51:06 My wife met me at the train station. Very kind of her. Yes. He's going to go home. Yes. I don't have to beat her until next week. Gonna go home and, and yeah, take care of that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:20 So they kiss and you see the legendary Italian opera composer heart breaks as he turns and goes to his train to go off to Milan. And then they show the abandoned flowers on the train station. So the voiceover from old Indy tells us that things can get off track, but can return back to their original course as both of Henry's little parents visited him in bed. So you see him waking up to both of his parents.
Starting point is 00:51:45 He was, oh, cool. My mom didn't abandon me. My family's still together. Hooray. Everything's fine now. We're just going to, and then they were like, we're going to go to France and he was like, sweet. So then we dissolve back to the bar in the 1990s where the
Starting point is 00:52:01 biker mama has absolutely just tears streaking down her face from, from the, the beautiful story that this old fossil told her while he's been kicking her ass at a game of nine ball. Yup. And she asks, did she ever see him again? Meaning did Anna ever see Puccini again? And the answer was, I don't think so. No, no, don't take show.
Starting point is 00:52:22 But he, especially considering we know that this woman died between ages like 11 and 16. Yeah. But he did write an opera. Um, La Fugilia del West or like it was like the golden, uh, the golden woman of the West or the girl of the West. I was the title. There's a love triangle story set in the California gold rush.
Starting point is 00:52:43 And according to old Indy, which an American woman of the old West gives up her home and friends for the man she loves. Yeah. He had to write that. It's fiction, dude. It's a fictional version of whatever because Puccini was forever carrying the torch for Mrs. Anna Jones.
Starting point is 00:52:59 And then at that exact moment, old man, Indy fucks up and scratches the ball. And then he just looks up and goes, you're shot Mimi the end. That was the baffling place. Yeah. And it's like, he didn't even win. I think I understand what they're going for because I'm a, I'm a nerd and I get to show off my English degree, but we'll get
Starting point is 00:53:19 to that in a second. Okay. But that's the episode. That was the cringy fucking weird ass episode. What are your thoughts on it as a story itself? The story itself was fucking really weird and really terrible and really cringy. No, I didn't look up the dates.
Starting point is 00:53:36 I am convinced that whoever wrote this episode was heavily inspired by the movie, The Bridges of Madison County, starring Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood because that was a story of married woman married to a stiff, I know a nice enough guy, but just boring and not romantic and Clint Eastwood played a photographer who came into town to take these pictures of the bridges, the covered bridges and he and Meryl Streep have this love affair. But in the end, she chooses her husband and her family over running
Starting point is 00:54:02 away. Yeah. And so I was like, I'm an adult. So this feels like they were trying to do kind of an homage to that story, but this time set with a historical figure and it fell flat and trying to turn into Indy's mom into like this romantic, tragic heroine or whatever. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:54:23 No, it was weird. It didn't land with me well. Honestly, I thought the guy who played Puccini did was great. His performance was fine. I thought all the performances were fine, even young Indy. His performance was fine. It was fine. The writing was just bad.
Starting point is 00:54:42 The writing was not great, but that was what they were going for. All right, so now we're ready to move on to our next segment. That belongs in a museum. This is where we go over the historical figures, lessons and artifacts featured in this episode. There aren't any historical artifacts. It was a shit load of art and sculpture and architecture. I did love when they showed Indy staring at the statue of David
Starting point is 00:55:12 and they only showed his face. Yeah. They showed him literally staring up and then it was like the face. Which is hilarious considering the real world. In the real world, I can't believe that they're... A teacher was fired for showing the statue of David. One of the most famous, priceless and incredible works of art ever created by man.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Which again, and then it turned into another Simpsons episode. It's really bad. It was a joke when the Simpsons did it. It's like, here we are in real life. It is funny, but as you can see, young Indiana Jones, they didn't protect his little nine-year-old eyes. He saw all the titties and he saw David's weenus. It was fine.
Starting point is 00:55:55 We didn't get to see it on TV though. No, but we did see the titties. Because marble titties are fine on television. Well, it was a hand covering the tittie. You could see some statues with breasts in there. It was fine. They did not show. We're definitely not in a...
Starting point is 00:56:15 There's not a piece of treasure in this episode. The treasure was Anna Jones' heart. Now, one thing featured the music we started with and was Laba Wim. One of Puccini's most famous operas. And if you are a modern fan of musicals, you might have seen Rint, which is just a modern reinterpretation of Laba Wim.
Starting point is 00:56:37 And honestly, kind of how I thought the weird way it ended, kind of in the middle of it, just like, you're shot, Mimi. Well, Mimi was a character both in Laba Wim and in Rint. She was the chick who died at the end of Laba Wim, but did not die at the end of Rint. And also, Laba Wim sort of famously a story that doesn't really have a plot.
Starting point is 00:56:58 It just kind of follows these young people who live in an apartment and just shit happens, but there's no real... Even though it has a death at the end, but the death wasn't a tragedy because of anything they did. And so it's like, it just sort of like... Life, it happens. Because that was part of Puccini's...
Starting point is 00:57:16 One of his things he brought to opera was the realism style. The idea that we're going to try to just recreate life and then portray it to music, but try to get to real life. So Laba Wim was supposed to be the example of, this is just some shit that happened to some young people, and then one of them died. That character was Mimi,
Starting point is 00:57:35 and they made the biker mama chick Mimi. So I think that was kind of a thing they were going for. And kind of a nod to how Laba Wim just sort of ends. The episode just sort of ends. So I guess it's like they were trying to tie this all together neatly. But that's going to fly over the audience's head a lot. They did not set that up properly. The only reason I could come up with that is because I literally...
Starting point is 00:57:57 You researched it. I was researching and thinking about it. What the fuck? So in the episode, we see Puccini personally conducting the performance of Laba Wim, and very rarely would you see the composer actually conducting. I mean, they did that a lot for, you know, for things like Amadeus and Immortal Beloved,
Starting point is 00:58:15 where they always want to show the composers conducting. But most of the time, they had a professional conductor who would deal with that, and they're just, hell, they're not even at every performance. Because they're the dudes who made it react it up. But of course, that's, you know, typical dramatic license to see him personally doing every single fucking job, even though he would have been leading a large team of people
Starting point is 00:58:38 just to handle the stage directions and handling the act. Like him doing everything is, yeah, that's how it works. It was silly. But whatever. It's fine. One interesting little piece of apocrypha was that the U.S. copyright for Take Me Out to the Ball game had only just been registered in May 2, 1908.
Starting point is 00:58:57 It was a brand new song. Literally, it was supposed to have just happened in America. So the Joneses would have already left America before they would have even heard this song. Much less Puccini. The first performance was by a chick named Nora Baez in 1908. And yeah, it was after June 15th. So it was like them saying it was total bullshit.
Starting point is 00:59:19 The song basically didn't exist. And Puccini definitely wouldn't have known it at this point. And neither would the family. So that is cute. It's cute. But it couldn't have happened. Historical inaccuracies. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:32 Then, like I already said, Anna tells Missy more the family's going to go on to Paris. Because originally the next episode was supposed to be Paris September 1908. But it was originally supposed to be in July. So now we're going to be going somewhere else before we go to Paris. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Do we ever make it to Paris? Yes, we will be. We will be going to Paris. Okay. We'll go to Paris, but not yet. But not yet because once again, they didn't get it. Well, and I guess the way they're trying to, like, this is old Indy and he's telling the story of his life.
Starting point is 01:00:02 Yeah. And probably getting all the details wrong. And that's if this is the real Indiana Jones and not just some lunatic. I'm convinced it might be a lunatic. Just making up some shit as he goes along. Yeah. He doesn't look or sound anything like it.
Starting point is 01:00:16 No. He's a ghost. This is like if Mad Eye Moody came out into the fucking real world was like undercover trying to look for fucking. Right. Yeah. For dark wizards and bars and museums and shit. So that's what you had.
Starting point is 01:00:30 Del West, the girl of the Golden West was indeed a three act opera, probably one of the last bigger hits of Pachini hit kind of a career decline that lasted for a while after this point and actually premiered in New York City. But yeah, it's it's this love love story that literally has a happy couple riding off into the sunrise on a real horse on stage at the end of the opera. Nice.
Starting point is 01:00:55 There's some interesting little little tidbits. I don't have notes for them, but I'll try to remember about Pachini himself. One thing, the some of the stories about him that he told in this episode did line up. He was from Luca. He and his brother did walk to to Pisa to see their first opera and that was what really inspired him to actually
Starting point is 01:01:17 want to to compose opera or actually it was his friend, not his brother. But what they didn't talk about was how Puchini was from this like musical dynasty in the town of Luca, where like his grandfather and father had both held this musical position at the local church like this, like very specific job that was like it become hereditary at this point and everybody just assumed like his dad died when he was five, but they assumed
Starting point is 01:01:43 he was just going to slide into that role. And that's why his mom was like invested in his musical training, but he did not want that job. He kind of resisted it and kind of bounced back and forth. But then when he got inspired to do opera, that's when he like went all in on the music thing and and did all that. He did have an estranged, very bad marriage. Gone back and forth.
Starting point is 01:02:06 It included a bunch of public humiliation because Puchini was a horny, constantly cheating bastard. Yeah. I mean, I guess that's on track, although Indy's saintly mother. Yeah. So there was one story that actually if this was real, it would have taken place not like only the next year, but apparently at one point when Puchini had gone home for a while,
Starting point is 01:02:35 his wife became convinced that he'd been having an affair with a very young maid in the house. And so this woman was like harassing this teenage girl and like in publicly humiliating her and threatening her and like cause all this problems and this girl killed herself. Oh, yikes. And then they did a medical exam that where they were of their opinion, she was a virgin.
Starting point is 01:03:04 So this woman harassed this teenager to death for nothing. Well, just because her husband cheated on so many times and driven her crazy. And now to excuse anybody's behavior in this, the teenage girl is the true victim here, but it's like, God damn. So yeah, he wasn't great. And they portrayed that he is not great because he was fucking harassing.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Well, that's the thing though. He was cringy. But I think it wanted us to be like, to get into the romance side. It didn't really work for me. It didn't work for me either. She was still way too buttoned up to be. It did not portray.
Starting point is 01:03:45 It really did. The whole romance thing felt very flat. It was almost sadly flat. It was really hard to get it. It was very forced, but whatever. Once again, I was just trying to cram some history into us. And so we know we have Puccini and it was an excuse for them to go to Florence and Pisa and shoot in all these beautiful
Starting point is 01:04:05 places and hope they had fun. They probably did. So now we're going to move on to the next section. It's not the years. It's the mileage. In this segment, we look at the development of Dr. Henry Jones, Jr. As he develops into the man he will one day become.
Starting point is 01:04:28 I guess he learns that relationships are complicated. I mean, that no one's perfect. He spent God knows how long telling some bikers in a bar about how he learned about physics. About the time his mom fucking decided to cheat on his dad. In fidelity, it's sometimes good for a marriage. It was a weird story to tell total strangers. It was a weird story in general.
Starting point is 01:04:56 That I think is his specific mental illness is that he can't just not vomit out all these stories as he goes along. But so yeah, so we know that we at this point, he learned some science shit and he learns a little bit about the complications of relationships. But his mother pulled through for him and became once again. His saintly mother stayed his perfect woman for the rest of his life.
Starting point is 01:05:22 I mean, other than that, we see him, you know, running up and down the stairs once again, showing that he is just the most fucking hyperactive ball of energy, but who's also tortured by having to do like this, like having to do high school and college level like lessons all the time from this mean old bitty. Yeah, and he's just a kid. Yeah, but like I said, there's just not a lot of actual
Starting point is 01:05:44 Indiana Jones stuff in this episode because this wasn't an Indiana Jones episode. This was a Anna Jones episode. And it was weird and I really didn't enjoy it. Granted, I haven't really enjoyed any of them. But he didn't say the closest one, I guess, was Egypt has to be the superior episode so far where at least the writing didn't completely suck ass.
Starting point is 01:06:06 Yeah, we will have to see as we go along. Some of that improves. Oh, we did. Yeah, we did note that as far as updating his character sheet, we already know he's fluent in an Arabic and now he's getting he's now he took Italian 101. He can speak some Italian now. And there was one point at the beginning of the episode
Starting point is 01:06:26 where a where a pretty young girl in a dress drops a handkerchief and he's like scoozy and he picks it up and gives it to her, which is like a foreshadowing some of his like ridiculous bullshit he does later on as a dashing young hero. Well, and you know, maybe later on he, you know, this could have put the possibility that Puccini was, you know, was like, well, you shouldn't go after married women, but it's
Starting point is 01:06:53 maybe not being so stiff can get you a girl or two sometimes. Yeah, I mean, and to be fair, Indiana Jones does better at getting girls than some other people. He just doesn't tend to hold on to them for very long. No, well, he doesn't seem to want to. Yeah, and I think there's like, so he has mommy and daddy issues that interfere with his relationships with people.
Starting point is 01:07:15 Yeah. So yeah, so I guess this is the first time we get to really experience how he had mommy issues. Yep, I'm gonna say that was that time. My mom almost abandoned me, but then she didn't. Yep. And then she died. And then she died abandoning me with this fucking horrible
Starting point is 01:07:31 monster forever. But yeah, I guess that's that's basically going to be it for for Henry this week. Yeah, it was weird. It was cringy. Didn't like it, but here we are. And now and the cinematography once again was absolutely spectacular and the music was beautiful because it pulled
Starting point is 01:07:50 in a lot of it pulled in opera. And like I said, they worked in Puccini into the into the just regular score for the episode to kind of drench all that time that Anna and him were spending together in his music because she's very clearly, you know, in love with his music and, you know, at first, and that's why the first chink in her arm where he was able to worm his way in. Well, I guess would the treasure have been the piece of
Starting point is 01:08:12 music that he autographed for her? I guess that would be a thing if Indiana ends up with his mom's sheet music that's tucked in his journal one day or that's one of it is a would be a nice valuable thing to have because Puccini was the most commercially successful opera composer of all time, at least to the point of his death. And they I think they said like in modern dollars, he had about 200 million dollars worth of a mass wealth as a
Starting point is 01:08:38 composer and you compare that to to like Mozart a while back before he died in a fucking dumped in a mass grave. We don't know to this day exactly where he where his bones are at. Yeah, it's sad. So and this guy was a dick. I can only so my only last guess would be that from this point forward, if any of the Jones like somebody starts playing Puccini around him, he just breaks the phonograph for the record player punches the person singing it.
Starting point is 01:09:05 Fuck that guy. Maybe I don't know. Old India is weird. I'll say he's seeing him. Well, I think that just about does it for us today. If you're made it this far. Thank you so much for listening. We will have more of the adventures of Dr. Henry Jones for you next time and the value of series regular episodes of chainsaw history coming to you soon. Plug in my own stuff. If you are into Dungeons and Dragons, you go check out the content I'm putting up on my newsletter
Starting point is 01:09:33 called backstab dot fun, where I just put up random stuff like recently I put up rules for if your party adopts a puppy in your Dungeons and Dragons adventuring party and how you might handle that situation. And that's it. Okay. Well, we'd also like to thank our sound engineer Kevin. We are super grateful to be hosted here at Raven Sound Studios. So always catch you next time. Bye. This is Jones. Yes. Someone seems to have sent you all the flowers in Florence.
Starting point is 01:10:07 Oh my. Well, who could have sent them? The cat. Oh my. They are from Senior Porcini for all of us. How very Italian.

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