Chainsaw History - No Time For Love Doctor Jones #5: Vienna 1908

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

{ Discover more at ChainsawHistory.com — access our full episode list, delve into bonus content, and support our show with a paid subscription! }We dive back into history with Indiana Jones in our series "No Time For Love Doctor Jones," where Jamie Chambers drags his sister Bambi through another adventure of nine-year-old Henry Jones, Jr. When ancient one-eyed Dr. Jones is forced to see a psychiatrist he forces her to listen to the story of the day he met Sigmund Freud, Alfred Adler, and Carl Jung—who encouraged him to break into a castle to give a snowglobe to a princess.Prepare for a baffling childhood romance in Vienna as we track the development of the most heroic archeologist in cinema!

Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love! We've got company! Oh, hello! Do you happen to be my psychiatrist? Today, absolutely. See, I'm a one-eyed dementia-ridden old man who's definitely not crazy! You're definitely not Indiana Jones either, but whatever. I am 100% Indiana Jones, don't you know? Just ask my friend Lawrence of Arabia and Picasso. I'm not crazy at all. Anyway, let me tell you about how I almost got shot trying to give a snow globe to a

little girl. Hello, everybody. It's no time for love, Dr. Jones, where we follow the fictional adventures of Dr. Henry Walton Jones Jr. as he bounces off real world history and important figures. I am your host, Jamie Chambers, and this is my reluctant sister Bambi. Yeah, I really did. Yeah, not digging it. You're gonna love it today. This episode was terrible. Oh, the episode of young love plus psychiatry? Oh, not to mention poor parenting. Well, that's on display every episode This is bonus content that we give for free into everybody on chainsaw history comm for now

But we encourage you to go to chainsaw history comm and if you click on the big splash page right in the middle You will see how you can support our show through a couple different options either with one-time tips subscriptions on Patreon, or subscriptions right there on the sub stack. So you can see, just go to chainsawhistory.com to see if you want us to make more of this kind of thing, not to mention the main show. For anyone who wants to follow along with us, you can find these episodes of Young Indiana Jones on the YouTube channel called Young Indie Restored, until Disney decides that they're not allowed to have that up anymore because that is the episode the version of episodes we're watching

because we insist on having old George Hall's version of old Indiana Jones. No, Jamie insists that crusty old man Indy who is absolutely not Harrison Ford in any reality. Well that's my thing you the respect I have for George Hall is that he refused to watch a single Harrison Ford performance Or even try to evoke Indiana Jones in any way. He's like I have the hat. That's all I need So and this episode Was especially bad, but we're rounding down We've only got a handful of episodes left with the Cory calendar as young Indy before we jump ahead to this the teenage years

Yeah, I would love to get to Sean Patrick Flannery We will we have to get to take your medicine and I mean before you guys I mean It's not like those episodes are gonna be good. Let's or rather, you know, it's like I'll just be better Well, there will be better and it'll be Sean Patrick Flannery as opposed to this fucking kid. Today's episode is Vienna, November 1908. So our first segment is... I don't know how I'm making this episode go. ["The Bambi Man Theme"]

In this section of the show we talk about the plot and major story points of the episode. So we can say Bambi had a great time watching the adventures of Indiana Jones at nine years old. I'm just glad I'm allowed to watch it high. If I weren't allowed to watch it high, then I wouldn't watch it at all. I even let you record high. You got to get through this somehow. We once again begin in sometime in the early 1990s as ancient Indiana Jones barges into a waiting room,

quickly called in to meet Carol Schultz, MD, psychiatrist. See, headcanon, this is where George Hall should be committed for not being Indiana Jones. Why is this old bastard claiming he's Indiana Jones and knows all these famous people? This man needs to be locked up. That he kept telling about his children. And now we know that that is an absolute thing that he did not have children plural.

Well, yeah. Well, right now there are fans. I have seen this on social media very recently about fans literally talking about the alternate Indiana Jones timelines and where the where the they split off from each other And so that's a whole nother longer conversation. We'll get to later. So back to the episode old Indiana Jones He explains he was trying to get a cat out of a tree and he got stuck up there And then the fire department had to get him down He also explains the hates cats. He's's like, I was never fond of cats, but now I hate them. Like a normal person says, fuck cats.

No, this old man bothers me in so many ways. And apparently, in the comic book adaptation of this story, it's revealed that old Indy was actually rescuing his own cat named Henry. So the psychology of naming his cat his own name, which is his father's name, the father that he hated and the name he rejected for himself.

What the fuck? So yeah. So Indy says his children are threatening to have him put in a nursing home and he is having none of it. He demands that the psychiatrist give him a test to prove that he's totally not insane. And he screams like, I demand that you test me.

Yeah, because that always works well with health professionals. Raging against there. So he asked him a few questions and he claims there's no diagnosed mental illness in his family, completely avoiding the, he phrases it very carefully, of like the obsessive crazy, the abusive father.

Well, technically at the turn of the century, his father wasn't beating him. So they were actually stellar parents for the time. Well, we don't know that. We didn't see him beat his son. It was just implied. Although obviously not because he's still a shit. Yeah whatever the abuse is it didn't work. It's all psychological. You know what also didn't work? Getting kidnapped and beaten and almost sold into slavery.

None of the... Nothing works on this kid. Consequences be damned he is not worried about any of that he's convinced each time it's gonna work out and that's the thing I mean we saw in the very first time we ever met a Nina Jones and read his last story This is a crazy person who gets obsessed with something and never lets it go Yeah, and apparently he believes he is bulletproof and so far that assumption is correct So when asked if he ever seen a psychiatrist before he says I did have a problem once but I got help I had a long conversation with Sigmund Freud and then he goes on to add Carl Jung and Alfred Adler to the mix and Dr. Schultz quietly writes

Delusions on her pad and starts flipping through a Rolodex to call in someone with a straight jacket to pick up this old coot And see and that's where the whole episode should have ended. It should have just ended there with him screaming his men in coats taking him away. I'm Indiana Jones. I'm Indiana Jones. I swear I'm Indiana Jones. I will whip you, you Nazis. But instead, Old Indy senses that he's losing this woman, so he calls upon his one

last tried and true superpower that he has left. He offers to tell this woman a story. And she was silly enough to listen. Yeah. So as always happens, we transition over the old bastard into the past as he says, it was 1908 and the world was just as insane as it is now. Yeah, that was in the 1990s. We were staying with the American

ambassador in Vienna. In 1908 was the year of the first psychoanalytical conference which my father decided to attend. Yeah, I mean... This is all... I mean, I guess it's like he met psychiatrists so this is why he's can tell the story of how he fell in love at nine years old. Again, I... Look, at least this one had some more connection. Like, some of them had zero. Like, I'm playing pool, that reminds me of physics, and that reminds me of the time my mom cheated on my dad. Yeah, I mean, at least there's a straight line here. But again... He's seeing a psychiatrist, like, oh, I remember when I met a psychiatrist. I could have been with this whole

story till the end, but whatever. So we dissolve back to 1908 in a scene of indoor horseback riding lessons and nine-year-old Henry Jones Jr. is smiling at a pretty little girl in a top hat who is completely ignoring him as they trot around in circles with a dude in German yelling at them. And he is speaking back in German. But gasp, the little girl loses her hat in the dirt and it will surely catch a horse apple at any moment. But little Henry gallops ahead and does a slick move to scoop the hat up and return it. Miss Seymour just pretend she's reading a book and she's like, I didn't see any of this. Thank you.

The only thing I think with Miss Seymour is there are moments where she's just so goddamn grateful that's not her kid. That's one of them. So the fancy pants Austrian writing instructor calls an end to the lesson in German and addresses the little girl as your royal highness. And to Henry he says, head Jones, how many times do I have to tell you, remind you this is not the Wild West show? Yeah, because then they just start reverting back into English. As usual, the, the who's speaking the native language of where they're visiting

and who's speaking English is super inconsistent and, and dumb. The moment you start thinking about it too hard. No, it's not even thinking about it too hard. It's just thinking about it at all. It would have been better for them to just everybody speak English and never even address foreign languages at all. Just pretend that this is like Star Trek. Instead they like sometimes use subtitles sometimes, and then sometimes people who

should be speaking their native language to each other, just speaking English for just for, for kicks. No, the show was not well done in a lot of ways. It was rough around the edges. You could use a little more, uh, polish, which is why they're like the TV show versus the the movie thing is a rough transition for Indiana Jones. So but anyway, so this dude's yelling him in German and Henry develops what I think is his first true desire to punch a German-speaking man in the mouth and one day that will blossom into a

Nazi punching inferno of rage. But in the stables, little Henry awkwardly introduces himself and reveals uh, that while he's learning German, he's, uh, he still kind of sucks. He misgenders her horse and then just kind of blathers in her face for a minute and she just looks at him. Yeah. But for some reason he's like charming her. Well, he's wearing his little

chapeau and he kind of stumbles into the fact that she's her Royal Highness as in she's a straight-up princess. She is Sophie, daughter of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Yeah that guy. A name that I'm sure will never come up again in history ever. He's next in line for the throne of Austria-Hungary. No big deal. The Archduke's nickname for his precious little daughter is Pinky, I guess. I wonder if that's a historical factor, if they just kind of threw a thing in there. You know, I didn't see that when I was looking through some other stuff, but I assume that has to have come from... There's no reason for that to be in there if it wasn't something they pulled out of a history book. Because otherwise it was just

fucking weird. But of course then he's like, well what should I call you? And her answer is, your royal highness isn't. See, and that should have just been where she walks away, end of episode. Well she realized she had been a tiny bit of a bitch, so out of pure guilt she's like, eh, you want to come walking away. He's like walking away with his shoulders slumped in his head down. Like he's got burned so bad. So she feels sorry for him and invites him for a walk,

which was the worst mistake she could have made that day. Yeah. So, uh, both kids are stuck with their respective old ladies. And after a bit they break for lunch. See her, she had a... Well, middle-aged... She had, yeah, she didn't have it because I mean even Sophie she was like, your governess is old. She had, you know, a nice middle-aged Freulein.

Yeah. Like the typical... What you'd expect for, you know, a good German born lady taking care of you. She was sort of stereotypical there. So the princess asked Henry if he rode the Wiener Reichenrad, the big ass Ferris wheel that was first built in 1897. And they had this big establishing shot of the gardens. You can see the Ferris wheel in the background.

And he was like, duh, of course I did. And then he finds out that she has not ridden the ferris wheel or done much anything actually fun yeah and he was like you can do whatever you want you're the princess and she looks at him like you're an idiot you're dummy shit because that is not fucking especially princesses for a world traveler he's incredibly naive he's been sold into child slavery and, he's incredibly naive. He has been sold into child slavery, and yet he's still so adorably naive. So after learning that Sophie lives

a cooped up princess life, he suggests they go look around. And the old ladies had hit it off and are having a nice conversation, so they just say, stay where we can see you. And we also know that Indiana Jones is pathologically incapable of following orders of any kind. So the moment they're out of sight, it's like, well, we got to break those rules. Yeah, but his response was, it'll be okay. Trust me.

30 seconds later, he's suggesting they ditch the garden and go ice skating. And that's where he literally, she at first sort of gives a faint protest, but he's like, gives this Indiana Jones classic line, he says it many times in the future, trust me. And she's like, okay, so they get on their skates and they fumble around the ice, they have a cute little kid time where they're holding hands. And then predictably. And of course, the Führerlein shows up. We have a screaming Führerlein in German running across the ice which was so predictable

that I told Aaron I was like this is going to happen just wait of course of course it happens everyone stops all eyes are on the children as they're being screamed at in German and this lady even says you haven't heard the last of this as she grabs little Sophie takes off and Sophie just looks sad and the entire crowd just lines up to watch him get humiliated. Yeah, and then Miss Seymour has to like, totter out on the ice and grab him. Yeah, and he's like, Sophie! And she's like, that's quite enough, Henry. Yeah, and again, this should have been the very, very, very end of it.

But you can say that for like almost every scene. But they just keep going. And it just keeps happening. It's like a train wreck. It's like one, only one should have derailed, but for some reason. And in my headcanon, the Archduke outlawed ice skating

in Vienna from that point on, and everyone blamed Indiana Jones. So we cut to then Professor Professor Henry Jones, senior, ripping his nine year old son a new asshole. Yeah, and then in the same breath, insisting that he go to a boring dinner. Well, that would know that wasn't the same breath that was later.

We have scenes in between. But yeah, for the record, I mean, Dr. Jones was angry and did yell at little Henry, but considering he almost like made an international incident. Well, that's what he said. He's like, you almost caused an inter diplomatic incident, Jr. He shoves this letter from the Archduke himself in Henry's face, this letter asking the American ambassador to get control over his people. this letter asking the American ambassador to get control over his people. And Henry says he's sorry that he meant no harm and his father responds, you have brought shame on us all and your country.

And again, that should have been the end of the episode. God damn! I mean, yes, there's no- And Henry is locked in his closet for the rest of the episode. Yeah, and Mrs. Jones is in the room and she doesn't say shit. And then just sort of comforts him after that guy literally who said you've shamed your family and your country

who storms off. But he did. Yeah. He ain't wrong. I mean, dad was a whole, he was an asshole a lot of the times but also he was right a whole bunch of them. I mean they were staying in the American ambassador's home and then caused some shit. It's pretty embarrassing.

So Dr. Jones says he'll apologize for Junior and there will be no more writing lessons of Vienna. And then he storms off to drink shaken but not stirred martinis for the rest of the day. Henry's mom comforts him and explains the princess is so tightly watched because her family is in constant danger. Totally not true. Nothing bad ever happens to any of these people. What are they even talking about?

She says they live on a powder keg. Many people want the Habsburg Empire destroyed. Yeah, and again, so the fact that this little girl and her governess is just walking around the city. Well, I mean, Vienna should be a pretty safe place for them, but maybe not Serbia. I mean, it's all just... it's all very inconsistent. Maybe not visit Sarajevo. There's just... this episode bothered me. I don't know why.

It bothered me a lot more than other episodes bothered me. Interesting choice of why they decided to put Princess Sophie of Hohenberg in this episode, but whatever. So the little boy just doesn't get why an apology won't get him completely off the hook. He's like, I didn't mean any harm. I'm willing to say I'm sorry. My bad, but why can't I hang out with this chick? I'm into yeah, and then the response why can't we be friends? You'll make other friends. No

There's no one like her in the whole world as he storms off shaking his little fist in rage And again nine-year-olds usually don't act like that. That's that's like a 13 year old Thing not a nine-year old thing. So again, even the emotions of this is inconsistent. It's, it's, it's, well, it is, it comes off as a little weird. Uh, it does feel like this is a story that's like if they truly were going to follow him, it would have been good for like 12 or 13 years old, that middle school. Yeah, exactly. So he's even this episode,

a number of people are remarking you're seem a little young to even be feeling things like this. This is where you people are remarking, you seem a little young to even be feeling things like this. This is where you get very strong, generally, friendship attachments, and you might play it like romance as almost like an imitation, but you don't feel this crazy shit. We're also talking about a kid who's been traveling the fucking world and can't get attached to people. He's only there for a couple weeks at a time. Yeah, and then he's bounce off.

He bounces off. I mean, he was sold into slavery with a friend and was just like, have fun being a slave, asshole. Maybe a psychiatrist could figure all this out. So anyway, he's madly in love with Princess Sophie at nine years old. So later we cut to a study session under Miss Seymour's watch. He's supposed to be doing something else, but he's actually writing a letter to the princess.

And Miss Seymour catches on and confiscates the letter, which reads, "'Your Royal Highness, I'm sorry if I got you in trouble. Being with you is just great. I think of that day all the time. I'm worried to hear that you live in a powder keg. If I had known this,' and this is where he got cut off and

She instead of being mad she realizes that his heart is in the right place and that he's got all these little feelings Deep down inside. She's a romantic. Yeah, she's a crusty old lady We've seen this now like when with the Puccini deal like she she has this burning heart for art and romance and well I mean even when mom ran off to the opera. Okay. With a... Yeah, with Puccini. It's like she had so much empathy

and said you would think that she would, like being a strict old British lady, but no, you find out Miss Seymour has layers. And then Picasso. Like you get this feeling that Miss Seymour like had this tragic backstory of love lost and now she's just this bitter old lady but every once in a while this sort of thing melts her

heart and so she decides instead of making him draw triangles all fucking day that they're gonna get into poetry. And Henry doesn't want to do anything else he says he has a knot in his stomach and he can't concentrate so she asked him to recite a poem which is titled of the pains and sorrows caused by love by Sir Thomas Wyatt, that was written in the 16th century. And little Henry is astonished to find out that someone had the symptoms that he's experiencing of not being able to sleep or eat or think about anything,

and all from hundreds of years for, and then she's explaining that this dude was in love. And he's like, what? Yeah, which again, he's nine. He's like, I didn't think poetry was about anything. And while normally that would make Miss Seymour, she'd make him write like a 10,000 word essay, but this time her eyes are shimmering with all this romance. So instead... But even then she was like, dude, you're nine. Yeah, but then he flips open another book and he's like, oh, this one looks good. And it's Love's Philosophy by Shelley.

And this is where the little boy realizes, oh wow, he's like, do you think I'm in love? And she's like, well, you're very young. Which is the 20 times you'll hear that over and over again this episode. Because even the people writing it realize it's sort of inappropriate for a nine-year-old. Yeah, but everybody seems to kind of also roll with it because he's nine. Yeah, but again this is like story sort of indulgent story by George Lucas that other people had to write for him. He's like, nope, he's nine. This is what happened. Okay. So Miss Seymour's line to Henry is devastating. She says, we all fall in love love Henry. Some of us too soon and some of us too late.

And you're like, damn. See I want to see that episode. I want to see young Miss Seymour getting jilted or something. So mom checks on Henry who is reading poetry in bed and she and Dr. Jones are going to the opera which I am honestly amazed he's ever gonna let her anywhere near an opera house ever again. Oh really no I was like go dad at this point he has figured out the best way to through her panties is to the opera so he was like yeah baby let's go to the opera. Take her to opera and you're gonna be horned up by the time we get home. I guess so. So but yeah she's no longer worried about her running off with opera composers.

Yeah, no, he just needs to take her, enjoy it. She chose him, I guess he got nothing to be worried about. And again, I doubt very seriously that anybody let on, that there was anything happening while he was away. And she's only got like three years to live anyway, so might as well have some opera. So she tucks the little guy in bed and sings a lullaby, a paper of pins is the name of the song, and the next day Henry receives a reply from Princess Sophie in the mail. She writes

him a very sweet note hoping that one day they can meet again. So Mrs. Jones tries to talk her husband out of taking their son to dinner with the psychiatrists because there's apparently, like they said in the beginning of the episode, there's a psychoanalytical conference, the world's first and these really big great minds, the fathers of these three legends are going to be there and at first Dr. Jones has got his, he's reading the paper or whatever completely ignoring his wife and she's like blah blah blah blah blah and he's like oh yeah she's very good whatever woman talking again but finally she's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, oh yeah, she's very good. Whatever. Woman talking again. But finally she's like, well, maybe Henry shouldn't go because you know, what you said, Dr.

Freud likes to speak about some racy things, maybe inappropriate for a kid. And he's like, no, no, no. Dr. Freud is an important man. I want Henry to meet him. It's like, he's really like the whole point of the show. Don't you get what Lucas wants us to do? He's supposed to meet famous people.

He's got to go. Duh woman. Did you not read the script? And for one moment, she decided to try to be a mom, but then folded like a house of cards. Well, she's she has, she never even once gets off a hint of resistance against anything or she's never stood up to him in a single moment. And in this show, even when she should have, She is a tiny little wisp of a woman.

Yeah, and… The almost… the bravest thing she almost did was run away from him. But then she didn't have the actual courage to do that. She couldn't do it because… Well, that… it would also include abandoning her child. Abandoning her child, which she… And she's not a bad mom. She obviously loves that little asshole.

Yeah. She only abandons him not by choice in a few more years. And she's not a bad mom, she obviously loves that little asshole. She only abandons him not by choice in a few more years. The only relief is through sweet, sweet death. Till death do us part, bitch. Yeah, that's the only way this poor woman can get away. And we don't know how she died. Maybe she just pulled a padme and just lost her will to live. That was it. But like we said. She just laid down one day and was like fuck this. We're

definitely getting there in just a few more episodes. So as we said there is a contractual obligation to have Indiana Jones meet famous people and Princess Sophie is weak sauce. Nobody knows her. Her dad's only famous and only because he got his head blown off. Well that's not true. We got shot in the chest and died with some famous last words. Anyway, you get the point. There were some world wars about it. Yeah, we'll talk about that later in the episode. Henry asked if dad ever gave his mom a gift when they were courting and she shows him a locket. Which by the way, if you know anything about the

actual like traditional courting, that would have been a no no. You cannot accept story from anybody except for your intended. So that's already a historical streak. Yeah. And that would have been like in the late 1800s. So yeah, no, this is, that would have been an absolute mom's a harlot if she would have done that. Well, we've already seen that his mom was already running off to bone an Italian rock star. That was for her own personal sanity. I don't judge her harshly a little bit.

You've seen the man she's married to. Which again, we've barely seen this man raise his voice. So so far what we see of him, he's actually pretty chill. Yeah, but it's the sort of the level of control and the way everyone seems so afraid of him makes him so much scarier than if he was raging around all the time. I mean, like I said, just that scene where like you've shamed us and off the family and our country. And that's all he did.

That wasn't even harsh words because that was the thing that actually happened. I mean, saying that he brought shame to the family, his country, and now we have to go back to America. It's a dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow. But. Alright, so finds out about the locket and then we cut to Henry dashing through the streets of Vienna and he goes to a curio shop and spots a fancy snow globe of a romantic couple ice skating.

But the price is 40 shillings, which is way beyond Henry's shitty little allowance. He leaves in defeat. And so predictably, something happens. But in my head I kept here, like even before I saw where they went, I heard the song, Every Day I'm Hustlin' in my head. Because like I knew what's happening. Sure enough, Henry just wanders into a street hustler running a shell game right in the middle of the street.

And he convinces a local to stake him on a bet, which cause he knows how the trick is done to hide the little pebble under the shelf. And then he gets a cut of the winnings, which he immediately goes back. I mean, the whole point of this scene is just so like, this is how he gets the money to get the present. However, the funny thing about the money is it was 40 shillings and they gave him 10 dorsch marks so I don't even know how that

no clue transfers and I wouldn't have caught that but my husband was like these aren't even the same currencies what's going on? This is not the first currency inconsistency. They have no idea. When I was trying to figure out the going rate for a slave, that was when I found out that they were using the wrong form of currency. It was a whole thing. It had a 10 on the bill. No clue. Apparently the exchange rate for 40 shillings is 10 Deutschmarks. He was just like, I have no idea how much this is take it and he's like the guys like The exact amount I needed just like I said, he's like what a fucking dumb little kid. I'm rich So here's a fun little production detail only a few pages of the original script are available online

But I believe based on the hints I found that in the original version Henry had taken the princess to ride in a Ferris wheel because She mentioned it in the conversation and then there was a reference to the original gift was gonna be a tiny replica of the ferris wheel as his gift to princess Sophie and in fact And also the little bit where he's like you took the princess on a joy ride and that which makes no sense for ice skating But would make sense for a ferris wheel ride So it's like they set up the ferris wheel and probably couldn't get, couldn't film on a Ferris wheel.

So they had to switch to something else in the middle of production. So that's why it became ice skating. Besides it would have been much harder for the Freulein to like climb up a Ferris wheel. Well, she'd been yelling at them and then forcing them to come down. I mean, they just had to rewrite the scene very mildly in order to do it. But I think that was the original thing was she was interested in seeing the Ferris wheel. He takes her to the Ferris wheel and then he gives her a gift to remind her of the Ferris

wheel. Instead he gets this snowglobe of ice skaters. It's like this is all the little TV production changes. He wastes no time. Immediately just charges to Belvedere Palace right up to the gate shrieking, Sophie, I want to see Princess Sophie. And this is where little Henry gets shot, the end. Where he should have gotten shot the first time,

but instead the guard just drags his dumb ass off to the side. They were like, oh my God, this kid. Well, the Archduke's carriage goes through the gates. And then they proceed to haul Henry off and toss his ass into the street where he belongs. And dejected, Henry walks through the streets of Vienna and ends up staring at a painting depicting a man

kissing a woman in a passionate embrace. It's a very famous image called The Kiss by Gustav Klimt. We're halfway through the episode when we get to the big dinner where we finally meet doctors Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, and Alfred Adler. And this is the stupidest fucking part of the whole goddamn thing. And yet it's the point of the entire episode was to get so we could meet these guys and because they hired Max von Seidow to play Sigmund Freud they could only afford him for one scene this is the only thing you get and he he chews both the cigar and the scenery through this entire scene. Max von Seidow who just recently died, rest in peace legend.

I mean, he's great, and he's great in this scene too. Like, he doesn't sound anything like Sigmund Freud. He's not bothered with a German accent even a little bit. But he's just good because Max Mancino has this incredible presence. Yeah, I mean, and he didn't even look, yeah. Other than the fact that he's just this very commanding presence He does not look her sound or anything like Sigmund Freud No, not at all. He's just saying the lines, but just but the same time

He's still the coolest person in the room because he's Max von Sido This is the scene that I have the most issue with starting from minute one And again, they had a little tiny nine-year-old Henry at the head of the fucking table. You know, like you do. No, that is not like you do. Never. I mean- Then they let him take over the whole conversation. And then even in proper seating arrangements, he should have been stuck between his parents

and not being allowed to speak. But no, they had him at the head of the table. Why wasn't fucking Freud at the head of the table? They have all three psychiatrists kind of bunched up on one side practically across from little Henry. Whoever the two ends of the table should have been the host and the hostess. Well, this is just as believable as all the shit he did with Picasso.

I mean mean like every interaction he's had with all these famous people are all these- But seating arrangements! How do you fucking at least not get a goddamn seating arrangement correctly? This is in this universe- This is supposed to be historic! Historically, the seating arrangement should be- He's also... If you checked the fucking name of the show, he sits at the head of the table. I mean, even if his dad would have been there at the head of the table... No, he was off in a corner and barely went halfway through the scene, he just shuts up and never says another word, even while they're talking about sex and shit with this kid.

It's great. So, let's get to the beginning of the scene. We're gonna break this down. So, we begin with Freud just sort of laughing about how the Viennese want him arrested for obscenity instead of celebrating the genius of his science. No, Freud was a fucking hack and a weirdo. And meanwhile Young is constantly like, please Sigmund, please be appropriate. As one does.

Yes, and he chastises Freud for focusing on biology, I mean, instead of the spirit, and Freud says the spirit is just a fancy way of saying repressed sexuality. And all the women grab their throats. Every single time the word sex is said, the camera cuts to one of the women looking deeply uncomfortable. She's like, this is 1908. Yeah, and again, that would have at least been historically accurate.

Oh no, and Freud famously constantly making people deeply uncomfortable makes me uncomfortable reading and hearing this scene made me uncomfortable now. Freud, the most celebrated hack and weirdo in fucking psychiatry. The master of projecting his own issues onto literally everyone. Right? Not everybody's that into their parents sexually, dude. That's just you. So Henry jumps in after Freud actually quotes Young, was saying

the pendulum of the mind swings between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong, which is the historical version of the quote. And it takes about five seconds to get the old quacks to talk about his preferred subject, love. So Young goes first and he and Dr. Jones bounce around the idea that romantic love is an invention of the medieval troubadours. And Freud says that romantic love was invented as a means of seduction because it's all about sex. Because Freud is a fucking perv.

And he drops a doozy of a quote. He says, romantic love is responsible for more death and destruction than anything, say possibly religion. And I was like, God damn, Freud, but you're not wrong. That is correct, dude. That's actually the most correct. I mean, if that's attributed to Freud, that's probably the most correct thing I mean, if that's attributed to Freud, that's probably the most correct thing he's ever said.

I don't, I didn't actually look up this direct quote as if it was a Freud quote, but in terms of the line, and then I was like, oh, that's a drop in some truth bombs, Freud. Alfred Adler finally decides to join the conversation and states that all people possess both the masculine and the feminine images within them, and that love is a yearning for balance, that you find that other side of yourself that's not expressed.

These are all the basic ideas that these men were famous for, all condensed into this little dinner scene for little Henry's and the audience's benefit. Nicole While his mommy clutches her throat. Ben And pearls. So Henry confesses to the good doctors that he is in fact in love. And so of course they decide that counseling this nine-year-old boy is the most important business of the evening. Yeah. Because this is once again the universe where this kid all every time he meets anyone of any significance they become like

obsessed with him like Picasso basically kidnapped him. I mean at least that's fun. It was really only the episode where his mom was getting her freak on where he just kind of became a background character and didn't really do a lot. But every time else is all these That was the only time that it's like that was the most real Most believable story they've told a hundred percent because he didn't do anything outrageous and no adults got unreasonably obsessed with nine-year-old boy but in this case especially at this point in time it would have been weird these old men are just drunk at dinner and want to decide they're going to

help this little boy out with his dilemma so Henry talks about Shelley's poem and then says where does love come into all that and Freud answer makes Mrs. Jones choking her food food. Sex. Yeah. And Freud doubles down. All love is derived from the need for sexual gratification. Even this boy's love of his mother. And at this point Mrs. Jones looks like she's going to throw up and pass out. I would have too. I might have thrown something at him. Like excuse the fuck out of me. And the women bail as fast as possible and Mrs. Jones wants to snatch her children. Time for bed, little Henry.

Yeah, and he was, they were like, no, no, no, and she doesn't put up a fight, she just fucking leaves. And it's not even like her husband said anything. She's never puts up a fight. But yeah, yeah, at this point, no, it was completely inappropriate for that kid to be there, and she is a terrible, terrible mom for not snatching her nine-year-old. Well, the funniest part too is like literally Dr. Jones Sr. never leaves the room. Even at this point, he's left the scene.

He doesn't say a goddamn thing for the rest of the time. So when his wife tries to get their kid, Freud's like, he insists, he's like, no, my apologies ladies, but please let the boys stay. We're gonna talk about sex some more. And so she, because- Yeah, please school my- And then she looks over to the back of her husband's head and she's like, oh well, I guess he's staying.

I can't say no to Max von Sido, I mean- It's like, no, it would have made so much more sense if mom would have been like, okay, little Henry, and that's when he was ushered out of the room and he would have gotten into shenanigans. Yeah. No. But we got to establish all this. Freud states that love at Henry's age is a powerful and dangerous thing, but they all

tell him to indulge and express his feelings. He must just surrender to the feelings and you have to let it out. Young even says, you must not let the castle walls keep you from your love. And having no idea that Henry's crush is a literal princess inside a castle. Yeah, but his fucking father does. And doesn't say shit. Now, he's like, he's just checked out. He's not even in the rest of the scene.

Was Dad like just drunk in a corner? Yeah, he'd say, one too many brandies, and he's like, oh, all right, cool. Oh, wow. Cause yeah, he just- None of this made sense. It's only the three old men talking to the little boy at this point, even though his dad's still in the room.

Freud gets the last word in by saying that as far as he's concerned, Henry is just being horny on main. This is all about your burgeoning sexual desires. The kid doesn't have fucking pubes yet. Yeah. But he also tells him not to turn away from his feelings. To deny your love for someone is dangerous. Dangerous both to you and to the person you love. Shout out your love, loud. And the other shrinks just agree while Dr. Jones sits there completely mute, even though he actually knows that they're telling him, yeah, you need to totally go for it with this love

of the princess that got you in so much trouble at the beginning of the episode. Fuck him as a dad. Well, I mean, yeah. As established. These are terrible parents. Well, I mean, the good news is, I mean, you know. Miss Seymour is actually the only fucking, I mean, yeah. As established. These are terrible parents. Well, I mean, the good news is, I mean, you know.

Miss Seymour is actually the only fucking, the most reasonable adult in the room 99 points percent of the time except for with Picasso for some reason. In terms of the audience in Indiana Jones, they already knew going in they had a troubled relationship with his dad. They did a bang out job of just showing why. Even though apparently there is an episode coming out where we see the dad and son bond and we'll see how that goes. But cut to nighttime in Vienna. Henry runs screaming to the palace gates where he is climbing up like 10 feet up the gate and

where he is threatened by gunpoint and by angry dogs. German shepherds on one side and a dude with a rifle is on the other. But he hangs on the gate and just fucking dares them to shoot him and feed him to the dogs. He's like, no I am in love. He's like he will not go unless he gets to speak to the Archduke personally. And amazingly this actually works. I guess they just didn't feel like shooting a kid that day. Yeah but they take him all the way up and interrupt Archduke Ferdinand's fucking dinner. Instead of saying, sure kid, climb down and we'll let you see him and then immediately just beat the crap out of him and throw him in an alley. Or a dungeon. But

instead they just escort him inside. The head of household assures Henry that the guards would have shot him dead and the dogs would have enjoyed crunching his little bones and Henry plays it cool. I wasn't scared. No, he wasn't. He's too fucking goddamn dumb to be scared. And the guy literally says, you should have been. Yeah.

Stupid little kid. You were dumb. So Henry gets his wish, interrupting the mustachioed archduke right at dinner. Where he was, by the way, at the fucking head of the table. Yeah. Imagine that.

Where the archduke would normally expect to see an Archduke. He asks for permission to ask for the princess's hand in marriage when he's older. Then he asks if he can just say farewell since they're leaving the next day and just pours his little heart out with a mix of his own feelings and the crap the three crazy doctors told him at dinner. Yeah. And the Archduke is remarkably chill about this whole thing. He is very fucking chill. He should have been in a dungeon

awaiting the Duke's pleasure after dinner. I mean, to give the guy some credit, he does not actually, in fact, give Henry what he wants, but he's still a super, like, cool about it. He's nice about it. To a point, he hits a brick wall. So he explains that he married his own wife against his own father's wishes and he had made a pledge that he'd allow his own children to marry anyone they want as long as they're

Austrian. And Henry's like, gosh, I guess that rules me out. Shucks. Nice try. My daughter's too good for you. Fuck right off. He's like, I admire your spunk, kid. Maybe you'll be a good soldier one day, but get the hell out of here.

And the archduke sends Henry packing with no goodbye to the princess and calls for a carriage to take Henry back to the American embassy and to go to fucking bed. So while Henry rides off in the carriage, the archduke checks in on sleeping Sophie, who is not sleeping, and the moment her dad is gone, she springs for the window to see Henry's carriage slipping through the gates, going away. But this is Indiana Jones. Now funny enough, I actually re-watched this episode as like, well, we were running the kids around this morning, so my eight-year-old son was watching this, and this was the point

where he predicted, he was like, he's just not gonna go home he's like he's going to be the fuck of going home now yeah he's like he's going back into that castle he's like get correct you've been paying attention so that's exactly what he's not gonna allow some German-speaking motherfucker to tell him what to do so after he's dropped off he just sneaks right into the trunk of the carriage which just takes him right back into the stables and from here we get a bunch of threes company style hijinks as Henry sneaks and hides and Oh my god, the tiptoeing is the literal

Like a car. I mean like the cartoon. I mean he might as well bumping Bumping into a bust if somebody on a little stand almost knocking it over bumping into a bust if somebody on a little stand almost knocking it over. So here's the, we're going to follow his movement. So he's out in the, out of stable window, into a courtyard upstairs, into another window. And then he spots a dumb waiter, which he climbs into and pulls on the rope

to get him up to a higher floor. Which by the way, my husband loved this. He was like, dumb waiters are so cool. I would have done that. So apparently that's a nine year old boy thing that they've wanted to do. Every nine year old boy wants to sneak into some rich place with a dumb waiter. So then Henry distracts a sleeping guard with a rolling gourd and then he slips into a music

hall where the royal family is enjoying a lovely orchestral performance. It's nice when you just have your own little miniature orchestra and just play you music before you go to bed. Well they were obviously having company. That's a, I mean that's a rich people thing to have done. So yeah, that tracks. They're having a music hell. Yeah. So then he sneaks past the Archduke and fam, runs upstairs, almost knocks over a bearded like bust of somebody, and then he finds a secret passageway in the library. And this is also where my son was like, how does he know where he's going?

Yeah. I was like, well, and my only thing was he did see where the princess's room was from the outside. So maybe he's at least he's got, you know, this is Indiana Jones where he's got a good job of mentally mapping where he would be related to the outside. Yeah. I mean, he would at least know where he would be related to the outside. Yeah. I mean, he would at least know what floor and which side of the house. At least which way he's trying to go to get there.

That was my only guess. The other thing is just- It's like, you have to use your suspension of disbelief, but it's really bad when even the nine-year-old is like, this is bullshit. He should be just wandering around until he gets caught. Exactly. That's what would have really happened. He should be just wandering around until he gets caught. Exactly. What would have really happened. But instead he sneaks in their link style.

Yeah. He just like, he's going through there and then he, he finds a secret passageway and then he sneaks past a couple hooking up and as they're getting it on, then he finally finds the princess's royal bedchambers and first there's the, your favorite, uh, fear line is his sleeping in the outer thing. And there's literally a, like a chair locking Sophie inside. Like she is a prisoner in there, but he just goes over the window. There's a shared balcony.

And then he just hops into Sophie's room where she is just sitting up. Her lights are all on. Yeah. She was like, I was hoping you'd come back. I was waiting for a little toad person to say, sorry, Indiana Jones, your princess is in another castle. But nope, she's there and she's happy to see him instead of being completely horrified. Yeah, no, and it was almost like she was expecting him too.

Was like, I know this fucking kid. I happen to be holding this gift for you in my hand right now. So she declares she has a gift for Henry, which a locket containing her picture. And a spoiler alert for later on, we will see this locket, not only see it again, but it will eventually save his life. Henry gives Sophie the ice skater snow globe and she loves it. He promises to write to her and keep writing her and he says,

no one can take away what I feel for you. And it's at this moment, Indiana Jones gets his first kiss, just a little sweet peck on the lips followed by a hug. You know, that what you would expect for a nine year olds first kiss. And then Henry climbs down off the balcony, makes his way down because it's a lot easier to sneak out than sneak in. Which again, it's like, but how did he get through? They don't show you how he got through the gates. Yeah, we just see him climb down,

go out into the courtyard. I mean, the good news is I guess he could just get in a carriage because they'd be leaving eventually. Or just walk out to the gate and say, let me out. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't know. We don't see him how he gets out. Whatever it is at this point, like I said,

sneaking out is always easier than sneaking in. Nobody's looking for people trying to get out. So we just you know, it's no we don't need to bother ourselves with that Besides we're literally fading back into the 1990s as Princess Sophie is gazing longingly at the ice skating couple in the snow globe Then we hear old Indy's voice picking up the narration as we transform back into the god-awful 1990s I guess she never got any of my letters I certainly not never got any from her but then again the world turned out to be a much crueler place than either one of us could have imagined at that time and That's when the old-eyed bastard

Tests to see if his ploy actually worked I suppose I'm always stuck up in some tree trying to save some cat, but that doesn't make me crazy, does it? I mean, he literally just said, I'm always trying to get pussy. And Freud would say, told you. But the psychiatrist, once again, the powers of old Indiana Jones' story to hypnotize and charm whoever has been listening to him for the last five hours. This is where in actuality, instead of gushing all over him and telling him how wonderful

he is and how he's not crazy, this is where she was like, of course you're not crazy. As the people come in. He walks outside Orderly flanking Immediately inject him with all the thorazine take him off to the to the crazy house Like yes this scene this story told me that's clearly bullshit instead. He don Juan de marco marcoed her Yep, she's like, I don't care that this is full of shit. I just love you Marked out Mark owed her. Yep. She's like, I don't care that this is full of shit. I just love you

Great. So she I mean she has this just beaming smile on her face Just mr. Jones you are neither crazy nor senile and I shall write you a letter saying just that don't you worry He's like great. It may even scheme has worked again It's confirmed that they've been in her office for hours and that she's probably blown off like four appointments. While listening to this old windbag talking about, you know, romancing an Austrian princess. But as old Indy dashes off to go talk to someone else's ear, she asks the question you were just talking about.

Did you ever see her again? His answer, of course I did, but that's another story. The end. And here's the spoiler alert. The Sophie's locket does come up again, but they never produced or even hinted at one where she's a character. That belongs in a museum! This is the part of the show where we go over the historical figures, places, lessons, and artifacts featured in the episode. and boy do we have some. So first person we're gonna talk about is Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Why do we care

about him? His assassination sparked World War One. He was kind of a big deal. Had that not happened he might not have been quite such big a deal. Yeah he was the heir to the Austria-Hungarian Empire. His assassination in Sarajevo in 1914 by a teenager named Gabriel Princip triggered a series of events that quickly escalated into that whole WW1 thing, even though we will once again state our position at Chainsaw History that George Washington started the actual World War I. See our very first

episode ever if you want to know how that whole thing went down or just google the seven years war. In terms of how history labels things, this is WW1 and it all started when he got shot while his car stalled in front of a sandwich shop. It was the war to end all wars, Jamie. And to make the world safe for democracy. Aren't you glad that that happened? And to make the world safe for democracy. And that was a thing that happened. Don't we feel safe? Here's a few quick and dirty facts about the Archduke in real life. Despite being the heir to the empire, he was not particularly well loved by either the emperor or the court. Just like as talked about in the show, he married for love, not status, which caused

problems because he did not want to marry a hopsburg. And his assassination is often noted for the comical series of mishaps and coincidences that led up to his death because it's like a failed assassination attempt that hurt other people. And then while he was trying to go to the hospital to visit the people who got hurt, they got lost. then they had to turn around and then got stalled in front of one of the failed assassins. So this 19 year old kid's eating a sandwich, looks up and sees the guy they wanted to kill right in front of him in a stalled car. He's like, this is great, and he pulls out his pistol and shoots the guy and his wife. And supposedly his last words were to his wife to not die, to think of the children,

and then he expired. He was passionate about hunting and is said to have collected over 300,000 hunting trophies. That's a lot. And they're like all supposed to be animals he killed personally. That is a fucking lot. It's a lot. You're just an animal murderer. How do you have time for anything else if you killed hundreds of thousands of anything?

He had a keen interest in architecture and was involved in planning several buildings and gardens. How? While he was hunting? Multitask. He was on a horse, drawing up some shit. As far as his marriage goes, he married Countess Sophie Chiltec in 1900. And their marriage was considered more genetic. More genetic? I don't genetic, I'm not familiar

with the word. It means not of equal social rank. So this caused the whole stir because she was not of royal blood and their children were not allowed to inherit the throne, which is why he's like, you can marry whoever you want, they have to be from our country. So in their union, which was one of love and not of... Yeah, I mean, all that's fine. Like it was a 20th century actual romance story of where they got married.

We had some of those. I mean, think about how different World War II had been had Edward not succeeded the throne. We would have had King Nazi sympathizer with just a royal mistress instead of him putting his foot down and saying no I want to marry this bitch. Which you still would have had a Winston Churchill. Winston Churchill, yeah, the little minor things of history. Oh for sure. So their kids are not eligible for the throne and those include Princess Sophie of Hohenberg,

Maximilian Duke of Hohenberg, Maximilian, Duke of Hulkenberg, and Prince Ernst of Hulkenberg. And despite the controversy surrounding their marriage, the family was known to be close-knit and loving. And like I said, the dude's last words were about his children and not wanting his wife to die. He legit loved his family. Which is all fine.

So that's basically, that's the Archduke. And then like I said, but the most important thing about him is he died and then the world was plunged into a goddamn nightmare. Like so many people died just because he died. And of course next on his list is his daughter, Princess Sophie, the object of little Indy's affections. We'll see if she comes back.

And the, we'll see if I'm right or wrong on that one. Really, she's only important for being the daughter of the Archduke, but here's a few things about her She was just her whole life was shadowed by the fact that World War one was started by the death of her parents she was only 14 when her parents died and then she and her siblings were taken in by their uncle and aunt the prince and princess of von Hülkenberg and Despite her royal lineage her life was relatively quiet and removed from the political spotlight just due to the marriage of her parents. She wasn't even eligible for anything.

And the whole landscape changed very drastically during the course of the war anyway. Yeah. I mean, at that point it'd be like, I would like to lay as low as humanly possible. Thank you very much. And she later married Count Friedrich von Nutzitz-Greinig and had children continuing her lineage despite the tragic early loss of her parents. Now as far as her family goes, they had those four children. World War II, the family had some issues we'll say. They were

arrested in 1945 and interned in concentration camps by the German Gestapo. But they survived and the experience left this really profound impact on them all. Well, yeah, as it does. Then after the war, the family's properties in Czechoslovakia were confiscated. It nationalized the property of all Germans at the conclusion of the war, all Germans, Hungarians, and traitors. The family was left without their ancestral estates and basically spent her later years in obscurity, just not having

much to do. She died in 1990, having outlived just about everybody that had been around for World War I. Good for her-ish? Question mark. And now we'll get- I mean, I hope she wasn't like, having your property confiscated, I hope she wasn't like Having your property confiscated. I hope she didn't like I'm sure she still didn't live in poverty No, she was I mean she was a little rich girl who married a you know, rich dude And but then yeah throwing a concentration camp had all their shit sees definitely had her fortunes change But she doesn't seem like she there's nothing about her being either particularly good or bad person

She just was a person had some shit happen to her And now on to the whole point where George Lucas at one point wrote scribbled on a napkin Indiana Jones meets Sigmund Freud and so we'll talk about Sigmund Freud as portrayed by Max von Seide once again not doing any work To sound anything like Sigmund Freud. He's like, all I gotta do is smoke a cigar and be awesome. And he did. But the historical Freud, historical Freud known as being the founder of psychoanalysis. He was an Austrian neurologist who became known as, you know, except the founding father of psychoanalysis.

And it's that whole, that whole basic idea of you talk the patient and the psychoanalyst go back and forth. And then the theories of the unconscious mind, the ego, the super ego, and the significance of dreams had a lot of influence on modern psychiatry and psychology. Well, yeah, but his biggest being is everyone's in love with your parent. You all want to fuck your parents, and most of the world rejects that. Yeah. I mean, the truth is most of Freud's stuff, he's super influential, but not

like nobody, nobody in the practice of, of psychology or psychiatry these days goes by Freudian analysis or techniques for anything he's. No, it's just something that you learn about. And the more you learn about him, he's, you're just like, wow, he projected a lot on other people. He was an absolute trailblazer, but at the same time, he broke the ground so that other people could figure out the stuff without all of his weird things. He was originally a neurologist and only later moved on to the field of psychology. I want to say his daughter was a groundbreaking child psychologist, but I could be wrong on that.

I don't know about that one. He was a prolific writer, penned numerous books and papers. As you say, he's the one who developed the famous Oedipus complex that children are reacting to unconscious desires for their opposite sex. Or Electra. And that's also the idea of that you're drawn to people

who somehow remind you of qualities of your, you know, the parent. Yeah, which is that's different. Yeah. That's a little, a little different than when saying you want to deep down, you want like, you know, an Oedipus, you want to kill your father and marry your mother. Yeah. Shit like that. All right.

So despite his influential theories, uh, you know, lots of debate, uh, and, uh, eventual rejection of a lot of that kind of stuff. He was an avid cigar smoker, which he always said enhanced his productivity and creativity, which you know, nicotine is a neurotropic, but it has some downsides, which for Freud it was cancer of the jaw. He had 30 surgeries over the course of 16 years on his face and that had to suck. Yeah, especially at that time period had to suck even more. Uh, another thing he was very fond of besides nicotine was the cocaine.

He was a enthusiastic advocate of cocaine and in my headcanon he had done at least five lines before the scene we watched him in. Well, I mean, if you're having all those fucking, like any kind of surgery on your face, they used cocaine, so that also tracks. Yeah, well, he'd already been an enthusiast for a long time before. He'd written a paper called, Uber Coca, extolling its virtues. Freud used cocaine himself and prescribed it

to friends, families, and patients before the negative side effects of the substance were widely recognized. At one point, I know he wrote a brother, his brother saying that that's how he overcame his stage fright was that he found that if he did a couple lines before he went out, he could talk for hours and not feel self-conscious even a little bit. Yeah. Which was, you know, 100% tracks if you've ever been stuck with the cokehead at a party.

Freud had a fear of ferns. A legitimate... He had a fear of shrubbery. Like a legitimate phobia of ferns. He had an aversion to the number 62. This fear was so intense, he avoided booking a room in any hotel with more than 62 rooms for fear that he might be assigned that number.

So once again, this dude had issues. A freight of 62, all about a 69, gotcha. But one thing he has in common with Indiana Jones was he loved antiquities and collecting them. So he had a number of artifacts from Egypt, Greece, Rome, and other ancient civilizations. And his office and homes were just filled with this shit, which some thought were helpful and

integral to the process of him developing his psycho-living theories by looking at all these cultures and what things are in common with symbols and literature and art and that kind of shit. He died at the age of 83 facing unbearable pain and diminishing returns from the whole cancer of the jaw treatment. Freud asked his doctor to end his life. So he actually died from a doctor assisted morphine overdose in London on September 23rd, 1939. Wow.

That is nice. That's progressive. He got Kevorkian. Yeah. But you know, I'm all for it. Especially you're suffering. Yeah, you're miserable and you're just like, dude. You spent a dozen and a half years getting your face carved up just to still be sick

and you're in pain, miserable all the time. Yeah. Give me that morphine overdose, pretty please. Yeah. So, yeah, Freud, weirdo. Yeah, definitely. Died in pain. Next guy, Carl Jung.

He's a pioneer of analytical psychology and I can tell you this as a literature guy, Carl Jung. He was a pioneer of analytical psychology and I can tell you this as a literature guy, Carl Jung incredibly influential and of course super influential on George Lucas himself because he had all these theories of the collective unconscious and symbols that were important to lots of cultures and storytelling traditions. So between Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell, like George Lucas pulled a lot of stuff that he used for Star Wars and stuff like that. I was correct. Sorry. I remembered her name.

Don't you love it when you're just like going along with a trail of thought? But yeah, no, Anna Freud. She was a child psychologist. Cool. I didn't look into any of that. British psychoanalyst and Sigmund Freud's daughter. I remember that. Yay.

Things from college stuck. Nice. Look, it wasn't money totally wasted. And then back to Carl Jung. All right. So interesting facts. He fell out with Freud, just like in the dinner scene where he's like, please, Sigmund. Like they literally had some problems

and eventually broke away because Carl Jung was just not cool with all the emphasis on sex. Well that and it's like, could you please not talk about fucking your mom all the time? Could we have a different conversation with Carl Jung on this? She's been dead, get over it, Freud. Yeah. He, Jung did some exploration of

Eastern philosophy so he embraced and very progressive in that idea of looking beyond the whole Western European medicine traditions and he also developed the concept of synchronicity, the principle of casual relationships suggesting that events are meaningful coincidences if they occur with no casual relationship yet seem meaningful related So it's like about bringing meaning to things He went on like a deep period of personal crisis after he is break with Freud And then he later called that his confrontation with the unconscious this period was crucial So he had to break away from Freud in order to like get his own theories out there

But like I said he like in terms of his influence it goes even beyond psychology Spirituality literature even pop culture like we get the terms extrovert and introvert and everyday language come from Carl Young and our basic Understanding of those ideas. Yeah Carl Young Not as much of a weirdo as not as obviously problematic Next up it was the quiet guy at the party, Alfred Adler. He was the founder of individual psychology. He was an Austrian medical doctor and psychotherapist, which emphasized the importance of feelings of inferiority and the striving for superiority as motivating forces.

So it's like you're trying to overcome your imposter syndrome and gain your confidence in whatever you're trying to do He is where we get the term inferiority complex is from Alfred Adler just like young Adler broke with Freud for being a sex obsessed weirdo Adler emphasized social factors and individual agency He also introduced the concept of allow me to try to pronounce this and completely fail, Gaimanschlagenfugl. That's 100% not what that word is. Often translated as community feelings or social interest, emphasizing the importance

of societal contribution and connectedness in personal development. So that idea of when you feel like you're part of the community and responsible for it. Yeah. I mean, that's the, that that's that's a sense of community. Helps give you a sense of self-worth and that can contribute to you as a whole human being. He also did one that we've again, not nearly as much of a fucking weirdo as Freud. He's also the reason why you got, you you got accused of middle child syndrome your whole life because

he's the one who came up with birth order theory in terms of how siblings develop in you know multi-child families, which is like a thing I at least to a point believe in. I read about it and it held up. Well, I mean there's a lot of theories that hold up. And again, it's, and depending on what kind of, it's like a middle child syndrome is, there's several different kinds of what you'd be considered the middle child. So it's a bit different. And one reason you might like him though is he was an early feminist. He was very progressive, advocating for gender equality and recognizing the impact of gender

roles on mental health. So he was pretty groovy as far as that goes. And he believed in a holistic approach to understanding individuals so that you can't just say it's all about sex or all about any one thing. You have to get in there and figure out everything about them that every person has their own thing going on. Yeah. It's very reasonable.

Out of all three of those guys, Adler seems like the... Even though there's stuff to learn from all of them, Adler seems to have held up the most. Yeah. Because he wasn't trying to be... He also wasn't trying to project anything onto anybody else. I think Freud, he was willing to be controversial and he realized that's how he was. I mean, there's a reason why he's the legend because obviously his sensationalized stuff,

like he leaned into it. It made him more famous. Yeah. By being, by being a fucking weirdo. Renegade. All right. So now we're going to shift to literature in the form of poetry. There was that little, that poem that Miss Seymour made, little Henry read in the form of poetry. There was that little poem that Miss Seymour made little Henry

read in the beginning, I find no peace by Sir Thomas Wyatt. I find no peace and all my war is done. I fear and hope. I burn and freeze like ice. I fly above the wind yet I cannot arise and not I have in all this world I seize on that looseth noreth nor locketh, holdeth me in prison, and holdeth me not, yet I can scape no wise, nor letteth me live nor die at my device. And yet death hath given me occasion. Without eye and I see, and without tongue I plain. I desire to perish, and yet I health. I love another, and thus I hate myself.

I feed me in sorrow, and laugh in all my pain. Likewise displease me in both life and death and my delight is the causer of this strife. The one I love is the one causing me all this pain. Oh, it sucks to be in love. This is the introduction of the sonnet form of poetry to the English language. Shakespeare would not have had it to use later,

were it not for Wyatt? He was- I wasn't familiar with that one at all. I didn't remember it, even though I'm sure at some point, as part of my whole English degree, we went over it as it's a big piece. But the truth was I didn't, you know, I came to appreciate poetry a little bit later.

I kind of was resistant to it, even through college. It's so funny. See, I loved, poetry was something I loved in high school and throughout early college, and then it was just one of those things that was let go with time. Well, I think for me, it was just part of my own ego because I am a good writer, but I'm a lousy poet. Like, I can do free verse, I'm really good with prose, but I can do free verse I'm really good with prose but I can't do verse I suck at it I have friends who are really good so but I was decent at poetry I couldn't I can't write for shit but poetry was the actual one form of writing and expression that I was decent at yeah like other stuff came easy to me I'm friends with some really gifted poets. You can't rhyme, you can't pro.

Aww. I can't handle the rules. I need no boundaries. So anyway, Sir Thomas Wyatt was a 16th century poet and diplomat, usually credited with introducing the sonnet, and was in the court of Henry VIII, known for lyrical poetry, reflecting his both personal experiences and the complexity of court life. And I Find No Peace is one of his most famous poems and his skill in adapting the sonnet form into English, because this was the style of the sonnet did exist, just not in English

before this point. And it's like an English translation or an adaptation of Pertrock's Sonnet 134 for people who are into checking that out. Let's get to another poem. Now this is the one he found himself which was Love's Philosophy by Percy Shelley. And this one I had heard. This one I was familiar with too. The fountains mingle with the river and the rivers with the ocean. The winds of heaven mix forever with a sweet emotion. Nothing in the world is single. All things by a law divine,

in one spirit meet and mingle, why not I with thine? See the mountains kiss high heaven, and the waves class one another, no sister flower would be forgiven if it disdained its brother. And the sunlight clasped the earth, and the moonbeams kissed the sea. What is all this sweet work worth if thou kiss not me?

Percy B. Shelley was one of the major English romantic poets renowned for his powerful use of imagery and themes, often centered on beauty, nature, political idealism and the human condition. I did like how little Henry asked, he was like, you know this? And she just looked at him, she goes, of course! Of course.

Like, of course, you dumb child. Well, I think it's the idea that anything- This was my book? Anything about feelings and romance seemed foreign out of Miss Seymour's mouth. His work is marked by a deep engagement with philosophy, ethics, and a quest for personal and societal freedom. And of course, he married to Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein and creator of science fiction.

Yup, yup. Who rocks in her own right. But Love's philosophy is one of Shelley's more accessible and lyrical poems and illustrates his adeptness at infusing philosophical ideas into compact, eloquent verse. Next up, we're gonna talk about that painting real quick. The Kiss by Gustav Klimt. So you see, there was this painting

that Henry just ran out the street and suddenly looks at longingly when he was first ejected from Belvedere Palace. It's a very interesting painting, which Wyatt was just randomly tacked on a wall. Again, I think these are just like George Lucas had like a list of shit that had to be in the episode and then he made the writer just go for it.

It's like, cause it wasn't in the palace. It wasn't anywhere. It was literally just, he was walking by and it was tacked on a wall and it was why. So the original title of this painting was The Lovers or Das Liebespar, I think. or probably not because I speak no German, when it was a new work being shown in Vienna as part of this exhibition in 1908. So the painting would have been in town at this time. Yeah, showcased in Vienna in 1908, immediately gathered

admiration of viewers and critics alike. So 1908 marked the zenith of Klimt's golden phase during which he completed the kiss. This whole phase used a lot of gold leaf which became a whole hallmark of his style and the painting's completion and immediate purchase by Austria's government highlights its importance like this was snatched up right away. The Austrian government recognized this as a historically significant thing. So it was exhibited, purchased on the first day for 25,000 crowns, which would be the equivalent in today's money of $185,000. So this guy was doing good. He was not the starving artist we saw in the previous episode.

This was the real fucking deal. He wasn't pulling oranges out of dumpsters. Art historians have speculated that the figures in the painting might be Klimt and his then girlfriend, Emilie Floge, again, mispronounced. The true identity remains the subject of debate for art nerds, but it's influenced by Japanese mosaics where he's like pulling in these,

it's a very different style than you'd expect. So it has a little bit more of Eastern influence. Painting is big. It's measured almost six by six feet. So it's like this imposing thing with like almost human sized figures in it. Wow. So it wasn't just a poster on a wall.

Not at all. And in fact, would have been, it was bought up by the crown and is exhibited in Belvedere Palace. And the whole, it's put up in this way supposedly where it's like not meant to be walked past, but you would go and stare at this painting for half an hour. Yeah, it probably had its own little gallery. Yep. And this is...

As fine art does. So anything else I want to say? According to art historian Franz Smola, the kiss resonates across generations, embodying universal feelings of love and tenderness. Its enduring appeal lies in its ability to connect with viewers on an emotional level. You look at that and say, yes, I know what it's like to be held and kissed or other way around. Next, we have Mrs. Jones sings a little song to Henry to get him to put the poetry book down and go to sleep. It was a song first printed in 1884. The song is called I'll Give You a Paper of Pins.

And sorry, yeah, she is using the lyrics that were first printed in the 1884 edition of the song, which is like just a little love song. It's not the years, it's the mileage. In this section we examine the development of Henry Jones Jr. into the man he will one day become. So let's just break it down kind of through the episode. What have we learned today? First thing we learned is old man Indy declares that he doesn't like cats. He said he was never fond of cats but at this point he's established burning hatred for getting him stuck in a tree so a fire department had to rescue him and once again remember the according to the comic book that was his own cat named Henry. Okie dokie. Which he should have told his psychiatrist because that's kind of fucked. Yeah. That would be like me

naming my my cat James. I mean if That would be like me naming my cat James. I mean, if nothing else, if she had been a truce, she should have been like, okay, you need to come in. You have. Well, this is proof that Old Man Indiana Jones is magic. Apparently, one of the artifacts he does is like, if you tell a story, it will hypnotize and charm anyone who listens to you for more than 10 minutes. And it works every time

Which is funny because it almost seems like outside of a classroom Indiana Jones was almost a man a few words No, that's thing old Indiana Jones has zero personality in common with the younger version of himself or any version of them We've now witnessed old Indiana Jones. You cannot get much older than actual Harrison Ford. No, the only way to make this work is that sometime in the 1990s a crazy old man just claimed to be Indiana Jones and his family kept trying to have him committed. So horseback riding or the child scene opens with Henry getting literally professional instruction. We've seen, I mean

even from the first movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark, that he is a very accomplished horseman. So we literally see, oh yeah, he's getting royal writing instructions from the same person who's training the princess. And he was already doing heroic little things like scooping up a hat, which was a dangerous maneuver.

That's a good way to get kicked in the face by a horse. Mm-hmm. We also see he was learning the German language. He had a basic conversational German even though the princess told him straight up that his German sucked. Yeah and he's really only spoke it at the very beginning of the episode and then magically everyone else just spoke English. Well no he did speak German in the street hustling scene. That whole scene he did. There's a few times scattered throughout the episode.

Now, the one thing we didn't really talk about was during the Freud scene. And I guess the only thing we can say is that they were good guests so that they decided all speak English in the American embassy because that's where they were having dinner. But it's like these three, all three of these German dudes are just having arguments back and forth in English and long discussions in English And it's like yeah, they were in the American Embassy and they were talking to a nine-year-old American kid, but it was still just very weird They're all supposed to be German or Austrian and then you know like Sigmund Freud didn't even like once again Max

Mancino did not try to do a German accent of any kind. He just like I'm'm going to talk like myself, powerful and commanding. I'm going to smoke a cigar and talk about how you want to fuck your mom. Yeah. And instead of like, let's go little Henry. Mom was just like, you know what? I'm leaving. Yeah. I'm just done. I need to, I need to drink myself to sleep. Yeah. He's not great at German yet, but she didn't after that they went to the opera. Again, we're continuing to reinforce the fact that if he is told not to do something,

he has a pathological need to break the rules. He cannot sleep at night unless he has done something that his parent or some other authority figure told him not to do, which is all he does this whole episode is disobey everyone. And it's like, and this is after this got him and his buddy Omar captured. Yeah, it makes no fucking sense. Well, now he's like, I refuse to learn lessons. No, someone should have done something

about this boy at some point. We do see he knows how to ice skate, but definitely not great. Just average nine-year-old in a nice skating rink He was skating backwards, yeah, he was fine We witnessed the little parental trauma where his father says you have brought shame on us all in your country While his mother just sits there. It doesn't say shit shame on us all and your country while his mother just sits there and doesn't say shit.

You and your but we've established you're in agreement with Dr. Jones here and I'm like that may be just a slight thing for going ice skating with a little girl. No but at the same time it's like over and over and over again he is told to do something and he just goddamn won't do it. Junior, you remember the brown face. That was bad. I mean, at this point, he's obviously not fucking beaten enough. He does not fear that man anymore. He might have the beginning of this journey, he no longer has fear of literal anything, including being kidnapped.

That's what I'm saying, it's pathological. He can't help himself. He's damaged and he needs help. Yeah, so the psychiatrist shouldn't have let him go. But hand-in-hand is his determination, which you know is Indiana Jones throughout ever since we first met him was that he like a pit bull getting his jaws around something the moment Indiana Jones sets a goal in mind He will get shot beaten intimidated tortured thrown in dungeons He will not Carol keep going and in this episode It is a kiss from a princess that he wants and even though he literally is like risking getting chewed up by dogs shot by snipers

No, I must give this little girl the snow globe. Which again, he could have just fucking mailed because at that point they were able to exchange letters. Yeah, 100 percent. It wasn't until he like demanded entrance to the fucking palace. Well, and and like, look, Carl Jung told him not to let the castle walls keep him out and he's gonna do what Carl Jung says He was the second most famous person in his episode. But once again to pure determination, that's I think also pathological Indiana Jones kinetic he knows that he's he will die

Again, he's already brought shame to his family in his country He should have been on a fucking tight leash the rest of the time he was in Vienna. And they're just, he was able to sneak out no problem. They didn't even bother telling us how he snuck out or how he, what if he got in trouble when he came back. They just like, at this point we just accept that he's always going to get out of wherever he's being held. The poetry that he's learned to lead poetry, he actually learns as he says, he's like, I didn't know poetry was about anything. Go away. Well, I mean, and what kind of poetry were you reading at nine? I mean, roses are red, violet, they're blue.

I see Paris, I see France. I mean, I don't know when Shel Silverstein started writing. No, not definitely. Much later than this. Much, much, much later than this. So I couldn't fucking tell you. Next up on the skill is street hustling. He literally knew exactly the deal of the shell game.

He's like, this is a trick. He's like, I'm in Americash, I know this bullshit. And he uses it to immediately get himself a score of some cash. He doesn't care about money, but he needed it at that point to get his little gift. And then there was the whole dueling psychology scene. So it's really hard to know what he got out of that whole conversation other than the immediate like, oh, I should, I need to break into the castle in order to express my love to the princess. But he heard a lot of conflicting ideas as these old men bickered.

And apparently he should have, he learned that he wanted to fuck his mom. Thankfully enough, he doesn't seem to have Absorbed that part of it even though here's the thing like the fact that his mother did leave him by dying and and then maybe one thing he picked Up on Freud because he's like all love is based on the need for sexual gratification And then the whole thing was like his abandonment with his mom because and think about it. He gets his kiss He gives the gift and then he fucks off to another town which is what indiana jones does with every single girl from here on out i mean yes later on in the alternate timeline he reunites with marian and

you know but even then only when he's old and even then they break up and have to get back together yeah it's like it's a rough one and in this version But this old version of Indiana Jones like that never even happened like eventually just married somebody had some kids But had some kids but like up until then he was a constant love him and leave him kind of guy We're about this is the first of many kisses and or more than kisses that he gets before he fucks off to the next What about butch? than kisses that he gets before he fucks off to the next town. But what about Butch? And if nothing else but the scene where the psychiatrist does show little Henry's intellectual

curiosity and the fact that he's just totally willing to jump in and talk to people he should be intimidated by and say, he's like, I'm going to get these guys to tell me what's up. Next up, Guts. I mean, you cannot, once again, it may be pathological, but he's a brave kid. He's like, yep, at this point, having been, you know. He's not brave, he's just dumb.

He's had a mummy fall on him. He's been part of a murder investigation. He's been shot at. He's not afraid. Watch his family almost get ripped apart by an opera composer. And so at this point, he's like, what the fuck? Dogs. Sold into slavery.

Dogs, guns are not gonna scare me. So he just climbs up and starts screaming. I wasn't scared. And I believe him. Should've been, yeah. He's like, at this point, I'm clearly invincible. The plot armor is strong. Again, we see his breaking and entering skills

are on full display here where he, like I said, he threes companies his way through the whole palace, sneaking behind people, doing literally the exaggerated tiptoes as the little kid looks like a- He's Scooby-Doo'd throughout the whole fucking, the palace. There should have been a scene

where he's running in one door as the guards chase him and then he pops out a different door over and over again and then they run into each other and run back. I mean that had to have been cut for time. And this is not the last time he breaks into a German castle. We see this again. Oh and here's the funny thing too. I think I forgot to mention. You see at one point he's tiptoeing through and then in the next scene after he gets done with the music hall, he is bounding up the stairs as loudly as fucking possible. You could hear it echoing throughout the palace.

I mean, he wasn't trying to be quiet or he was just loud as fuck. You could literally hear it echoing on the walls. So it was the inconsistencies of him even trying to get through the palace was stupid, but whatever. But it worked. Of course it did because we live, that's the dumbest timeline. It's not even a real one. And that's how he snuck his way to get

what is now canonically our Indiana Jones's first love. So he feels romantic love for the first time, even though it's weird. And like I said, I think I agree that this feels like a story that should have been written for like a 12 or 13 year old kid. The one who's right at puberty when you're getting all those super charged hormones and confusing feelings and you really do feel like this person you met is the center of the world and you're gonna die without them. For a nine-year-old it's very weird. It's weird. But he's precocious. What are we gonna do?

He's just he's an early developer. He started being horny at nine. Yeah he's horny at nine. That's what Freud said. And he gets his first little kiss only to leave town and never see the chick again and establishing a very clear pattern that we're gonna see again and again So yeah, we'll see him fall in love It'll be great and even seem like things are great at the end of the story and then next time you're like well that clearly Didn't work out because we never saw her again, and I guess that's where we leave Indiana Jones this week. Thank you listeners.

And since I just wrote funny joke, good job, Jamie. Insert funny joke here. Insert funny joke here. Now we, everyone should take their own lessons from young Henry and doctors, Freud, Adler and Jung. The only fucking lessons you should take from this is be a better goddamn parent. Do not let the castle walls keep you out from the one you love. Scream your love out loud.

No matter how inappropriate it is, no matter how many times you'll be shot. Yeah, no. However, once again I will say this, canon, we will see later on that this adventure literally saves his life because the locket from Princess Sophie stops a goddamn bullet in World War I later on in his life. Well, that works out. So if nothing else, he's literally alive because he scored this kiss from this little girl. There you go.

That's why you have to do it. Do not let society keep you from expressing your love, reading poetry and screaming. No, if you have a horny nine year old, you really need to like, put them in therapy that maybe change their food. They have too many hormones in it. Well, he's traveling all over the place. Something is wrong with your nine year old.

If there's like, I really- So do a better job locking up your kids. I mean, truly. Don't let them roam the streets of Vienna at night. Or just don't let your kids roam the streets. They need to chaperone this child more obviously They need to get him someone who can keep up with them miss Seymour It's like and now she's too easy to ditch and now we have to see where we go next

I think next week Bambi is when we get a Roosevelt or at least next episode Where he meets Teddy Roosevelt and also I know there's an episode coming up where they get both he Indian his mom horribly sick I think they're in China for that one and then I think we're done I think with I think we're done with little kid Indy we're gonna take an adventure on the Titanic before we jump ahead and finally find out what happens when When Henry tracks down the killer from the from the very beginning. Yeah, he's got to find the jackal. Yeah. So thank you to the listeners and thank you to our friend, Kevin.

Yes, thank you Raven Sound Studios. We're once again sounding better than we have any right to. I still use my old USB mic at home, but I don't miss it when I hear what it sounds like when I come back Be sure to go to chainsaw history comm or you can find our full back catalog bonus stuff And all the ways you can support the show which by the way are subscribing on sub stack going to patreon or sending a one-time Tip through the link just click on the big chainsaw history picture in the middle of the website And it will show you exactly how to do that. We got more cool stuff coming up full episodes written by both Bambi and myself We've got more value tales and of course more dr. Jones. So we will catch everybody on the flipside

Bye. See ya