Chainsaw History - Part Two: Anthony Comstock's War On Women

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

{ Discover more at ChainsawHistory.com — access our full episode list, delve into bonus content, and click the logo in the center of the page to support our show with a paid subscription! }Jamie and Bambi are at it again! Anthony Comstock persecuted New York smut dealers and tavern owners until he found his target of choice—women who advocate for freedom, education, and equality. When ruining things for people in New York was not enough he pushed the Comstock Act into federal law—which is how the authors of Project 2025 plan to ban pornography and access to information about abortion. He persecuted trailblazing women like Victoria Woodhull and Margaret Sanger fueled by his weird obsessions and religious guilt.In this episode we encourage you to consider a donation to Planned Parenthood, which provides education and support services for sexual and gender related health. Learn all the ways they assist men, women and families at www.plannedparenthood.org.

I'm not a record, my skin still looks great. Not to mention I get Botox so I just have to get rid of my smile lines. And you have an excuse to get Botox, it's nothing to do with your appearance? No, actually it did not change my appearance at all. Yeah, I mean, I've never noticed any difference. No. It's not like you had a wrinkly forehead. No, I still look 10 years young.

Perfect conversation for an audio medium. Speaking of judging women by their appearance and otherwise, hey, did you know that as we're recording this, which is quite a bit later than when we recorded part one The TV series the Handmaid's Tale just started season six Yeah, well, we're living in the handmaid's tale now You know So the show about how Christian nationalists took over a chunk of their country and where religion is used to put women back in Their place and their most pri prize for their ability to reproduce.

Completely unbelievable and wild scenario. The good news is we're at the early stages of that. Late stage hands made sale would be fucking ridiculous. Now we can get back to talking about Anthony Comstock who could only have dared to dream of a future as glorious and devoted to God as Margaret Atwood envisioned in her groundbreaking novel. I can only imagine how glorious he would have thought Gilead and that show would have been. I hate everything so much.

So welcome to Chainsaw History, everybody, if you haven't shot yourself yet. This is the podcast where we show historical figures that respect a four-month-old puppy gives the living room rug or couches. We know all about puppies. We became puppy parents. If you follow me on Instagram, Jamie1km, you can see some of the puppy pictures. But I am your host, Jamie Chambers, and this is my sister Bambi. Hello. Please remember we're a comedy podcast. I am not a historian, but I have watched a lot of Doctor Who. Oh, I'm just sad.

Well don't worry. But I'm here. This is definitely not going to help. This is not going to help me at all because before it was like, we need to stop this. Now it's like, well, this is our grim reality. Now we're just on the roller coaster. We can just go wee on the way down. Oh, you mean we're going to act like we're the stock market? Just woo, roller coaster, all the way down, trying to climb back up. So you can find our full back catalog,

detailed show notes, and other goodies over at ChainsawHistory.com. And if you click our logo, you can find out ways to support us with a paid subscription or a one-time appreciation tip. you can find out ways to support us with a paid subscription or a one-time appreciation tip. We love tips. Yeah. And I've got a tip for you. Go to our YouTube channel that includes all of our episodes in full length and some short video clips. The channel name is Chainsaw History Pod, all one word. And also, also you can find those short videos over on our TikTok account, assuming that TikTok still exists by the time you hear this. Yeah. Who knows? Or you could post it on Reels. Yeah. Well, it's good. It's going to be on YouTube. And we all also, some of the short video stuff will be on Reels elsewhere. Also, also you can find those short videos over on

our TikTok account, assuming TikTok still exists. And also, also, also we are adding short from rant videos connecting current events to history, which also will go onto the podcast feed in audio form. Yeah. Well, Jamie, that's just cathartic. So yeah, so far I've done precisely one of those where I talk about Donald Trump's fascination with William McKinley and I actually talk about what McKinley actually did and how the tariffs thing actually worked out back in the 1800s. So that was fun. So, but today we're talking about Anthony Comstock and I gotta give a content warning

because today we're talking now about abortion, contraception, pornography, violence and self harm. Plus, you know, a little dose of a modern American politics in case you haven't figured that out yet. But we'll try not to dwell too much on that. We're gonna soak in the past today. I wish I could be that young hope for a girl.

Back when America was great. So we recorded part one back during the Biden administration. So here is a refresher. I miss that fucking old man. I've never missed any fucking president more. Oh, sleepy Joe. I miss you. Things are so boring then.

I know. I didn't have to watch the news every day. It was great. Anyone who needs a refresher or if you just skipped straight to this episode, Things are so boring then. I know. I didn't have to watch the news every day. So anyone who needs a refresher or if you just skipped straight to this episode like a maniac, let's go over it. Anthony Comstock was born to uptight Connecticut parents and was raised in the Puritan way with hard work only interrupted by prayer and church. Yes, he was a fucking weirdo.

Tony's mother died when he was 10 years old, leaving him obsessed with being worthy of her memory and deciding that all other women should be judged against her impossible dead standard. Yeah, again, a weirdo. And in school, the little guy was punished for his childhood antics with beatings and being forced to wear a pretty hat and sit with the girls. Well, you know, that's as they did then. It's not cool, but that is...

It certainly didn't help his attitude toward women, I don't think. It's hard to say But after earning a whipping for drinking with another teenager Tony also declared a lifelong war against booze along with most other forms of vice and This is where he really really like dug into being a weirdo years later He learned of illegal alcohol sales in his town's only tavern and after being a Karen failed completely He broke in like a really lame ninja and destroyed all the liquor and caused the bar to close. See he's no fun at all. The Comstocks lost the family farm during

the Civil War and Tony enlisted with the Union Army to honor the memory of his dead brother Samuel who died from wounds received at the Battle of Gettysburg. Yeah like pretty much a lot of them did. It was a rough day and it was in the army that he started outreach on behalf of the Young Men's Christian Association. The YMCA. YMCA. Yeah, YMCA. Not a gay anthem anymore, apparently. They can say whatever they want. Comstock led prayer groups when not being an uptight, teetotaling moral crusader that nobody liked. He also kept a detailed diary of his spiritual struggles, mostly just letting us know every time he reached down his pants for a little tug.

Yeah, we didn't need to know it. But thanks to his diary, we know every single time for a year of his life. Well, that is amazing because he would not have liked that and fucked this guy a lot. Nope. But as you're about to find out, he didn't give a fuck about anybody else's privacy, so we are going to ignore his request for this name. After the war, Tony drifted aimlessly for a bit

before a relative gave him a little cash and some advice. Go to New York and find something to do. So he did, and the big apple that Comstock found himself in was full of vice and sexuality, just out on the street for everybody to see. Someone had to clean up this modern-day Sodom and by God Tony Comstock had the mutton chops for the job. You're ready to get into part two? Sure.

So we last saw Tony fresh on the streets of New York City with only a few bucks in his pocket and surrounded by glorious vice and sin. Yeah, people were just living their lives, having a good time. Not knowing that this asked all of them. And he was like, I need to stop all of this fun that you're having. Because, you know, it's not like the times were great. Well at the moment he had less than $4. So he scored a room at a cheap lodging house near City Hall, said his prayers and set about looking for a job.

And within a week, he landed one as a porter. So they were like backbreaking work, hauling around huge cases of dry goods. Okay. Yeah. Scoring all 12 bucks a week. But because he was an OCD Apple polisher, he straightened up everything in the stock room and like organized it by, you know, efficiency and immediately got a promotion to shipping clerk. No raise though. But still, not breaking your back is probably preferable to breaking your back. Yeah. And again, it's like, okay, so he got a promotion through hard work and merit.

If there's one thing that a good Puritan from Connecticut is going to be is a hard fucking worker. And that Comstock was. Seeing no further room for advancement, he quit his job as a stock clerk and got into sales. Initially taking a huge pay cut, but only, so he's only getting like $5 a week, but with the potential for sales to elevate his earnings, whereas before it's basically a dead-end job like this is all I'll ever earn. These people don't do raises.

Tony not only attended church on the regular but officially joined the Young Men's Christian Association and thanks to the YMCA he was constantly exposed to lectures and literature warning of the dangers of gambling, booze, and porn. And he was inspired to take action from Trumbull's book, Comstock Fighter. Remember this is the very flattering one written by, in fact, this may have even been like a paid biography, we're not sure. One of his friends had been led astray and corrupted and diseased. I think you know what kind of disease? Yeah, you know.

In a spirit of bitter resentment, young Comstock determined to make the responsible person pay for the ruin he had worked. He found that a man named Charles Conroy, occupying a basement in Warren Street, and the next block to where Comstock was then employed, had sold the stuff to his friend. Comstock bought a book from Conroy, found where the fellow kept his stock secreted, then showed the police captain of the precinct what he had bought. The police captain went personally with Comstock and arrested the criminal, seizing his stock of books and pictures." So he goes and buys a titty book from this guy and then busts him. And then busts him. What a fucking piece of shit.

So he's like barely in town when he starts this shit. Mr. Conroy the porn dealer was Comstock's first New York arrest. And since he wouldn't give up the smut business, the two would become bitter enemies. And you'll be hearing his name again. I hope he wins. It's also the beginning. Yay, smut man. Well, you're gonna like what he does one day,

but we'll get there. It's also the beginning of Comstock's collection of seized pornography, which would one day grow vast. He didn't throw anything away. Yeah, I'm sure. You have to keep it away from the sinners. From other people, I'm sure. You know, if they were locked away, he never looked.

Tony kept all of this up for a while, working all the time, minding everybody else's business, eating the shittiest food, working about if other people were jerking off, and not getting enough rest until he collapsed, sick as hell. Yeah, well, I mean, he was a peasant. This is what do they do?

So he just couldn't go to work for a a bit and then because labor laws didn't exist, he came back to work to find out he had been fired. But luckily he was able to shift to something else and do hard work and good Puritan values. He got a different job and was able to find another smut dealer to shut down on behalf of Jesus and the YMCA. I'm so glad that all these fucking people were saved from pornography. of Jesus in the YMCA. From the Sunday edition of the New York Times, May 2nd, 1869. Quote.

Headline. Indecent literature. At the suggestion of Captain John Jordan of the 6th Precinct, Mr. Anthony Comstock of No. 359 Broadway entered the bookstore at number 57 Center Street yesterday and purchased an indecent book from the proprietor, William Simpson, who had often been suspected of dealing in such publications. Simpson was at once arrested and on being arraigned before the magistrate was held for trial at special sessions." Unquote. And from Tony's fawning biographer Trumbull, quote, again in the spirit of an avenger of wrongs done to young men,

the clean-lived young Connecticut Christian started on the trail of one of those worse than murderers. Unquote. Fuck you. See- They literally are just selling some titty books? Yeah, yeah. Today I learned that loaning out titty books is worse than blowing a motherfucker's brains

out. Who knew? I hate this guy so much. What the fuck? It's just because he hates women. He hates women and naked women, especially apparently. Well, because they inspire him to sin against God. You know what Jesus said about that? Gouge out your own fucking eyes. No. Well, maybe that's the way you see it. But Anthony Combs is like, no, put your tits away because I am way too horny for this. You know what?

I'm with the French tits out, arms up. There you go. Anyway, this is another case where local cops were covering for the porn purveyors also getting paid off. So Tony not only got Simpson arrested, but a cop kicked off the force. So at least we have that. Eventually Tony was able to scrape together $500 so he could buy a little house in Brooklyn and achieve the dream of a family of his own.

Because somewhere in the middle of all this, Tony fell in love. Well, I mean, I hope to God after this point, he would start worrying about his wife's vagina and not everybody else's. But no, no, that would be too much for this weirdo. What kind of lady do you think? No, she was probably no fucking fun at all. They only had sex to procreate. Well we're about to hear that too.

Margaret Hamilton, who went by Maggie, was one of two spinster sisters who had toiled their younger lives away in their father's store. A religious Presbyterian woman, Maggie was ten years older than Tony, and reportedly not in super great health. From Roundsman of the Lord, now this is the biography devoted entirely to roasting Comstock, Anthony's love for his mother was to be a living thing through all his life, and perhaps he found it easy to love this fated, sweet, and self-effacing woman whom he had chosen as his bride." Unquote. Yeah, you know, she reminded me of his poor...

A meek, hard-working, religious woman. Yeah, who's probably been, you know, half-worked to death and looked like she'd been beaten down. He was like, this is the girl of my dreams. Life has already kicked her ass. And there were little anecdotes saying that she was a little, well, they were both a little sensitive of the fact that she was 10 years older than him because that was the opposite of the norm in the late 1800s.

Yeah. I'm sure she was real sensitive about her age just in general. But Tony's diary entries are full of little remarks about his wife being weak, but also loving tributes. He called her, Dear Em, and My Precious Little Wife, and even, A Blessed Gift. Maggie's relatives often came to stay with him and eventually her sister Jenny came to live with him full time. He took joy in their little home but was always dissatisfied and restless and annoyingly holier

than now. Here's an example. When the Comsocks visited with some neighbors for the first time and these became long-term friends, this is what he wrote in his diary. Quote, they both seem so earnest. They feel that life is earnest and one must be earnest to live.

I hate this milk and water system. Give me a man who dares to do right and one ready at all times to discharge his duty to the community and to God." Yeah, he just can't have a good time at all. How dare people be pleasant and earnest. Yeah, and again, right now he's living with women and even though he loves his wife, he hates women.

Complicated feelings, let's just say. Yeah, it's hard being a fucking weirdo some overly religious nutjob say like Matthew Hale seem to be joyless and have zero sense of humor and I'm sure people around him probably wish this were the case with Tony Comstock because we hear he was something of a practical joker oh my god now I didn't get a lot of good practical joke stories throughout this research, but there were films, like sometimes he would just pretend

he was drunk and fuck with people, or he would trap them in his office by innocent little idiocies, whatever the fuck that means. And then there's this from Roundsman of the Lord, quote, and it is said that during a trial, he once handed a juror an exhibit consisting of a book which exploded when the unfortunate man opened it."

So literally in court he hands this guy an exploding book. It's kind of crazy, like what's a fucking unhinged thing to do? But okay, that Tony, what a character. Now near the end of 1871, Tony had a lot to worry about. He reported that trade still holds dull in his journal more than a few times, which was his way of saying, shit, I'm not selling anything. And his entries are a mix of hopeful praise of God followed by self-doubt, followed by self-hatred for having self-doubt when

he's in the Lord's hands, and he should know that everything's gonna be fine. Because he's just ridden with guilt at all moments. It's... You know, it's... that's fine, but why does your problem have to be everyone else's? That's what I ask myself about people every day. Why are your fucking problem everyone else's? Keep it to yourself. Well, instead of doing that, he does this. Great.

This is again from Comstock's journal. Quote, yesterday, it was Sunday, saw two liquor saloons open and called police officer 134 to close them. He refused. I threatened to report him and told one party he had better pull his door too. I have today proffered charges before the police commissioners. I am determined to act as part of good citizen and wherever a man breaks the laws, I will make him satisfy the laws if in my power." Unquote.

Okay, how does he know they're unlawful? Well, I mean, they're open on a Sunday, which is against the law in New York. Oh, okay. So, he and his wife are like walking back and forth past these open bars as they're going to church. And he's like, how dare they? People are drinking and having a good time when they're supposed to be praying and worshiping.

Yeah, well, fuck you. Not everybody wants to. Tony quickly learned that he was going not just against an evil bar owner and the weakness of sinners, but against the corruption of the city. From his self-righteous journal entry, quote, oh, how I loathe the actions of corrupt officials in our city. This is a murderous age. Crime stalketh, and yes he wrote stalketh, King James style.

I hate him. Crime stalketh abroad by daylight and public officers wink at it. Money can buy our judges and corrupt our juries. But God is helping me. It shall never buy or sell me. I believe Jesus would never wink at any wrong nor would he countenance it." Unquote. Dude, he does not believe in the same Jesus that was... The Jesus that hung out with prostitutes. Prostitutes. And again... Leopards and the whole deal. Yeah, who fucking, you know, turned over tables and beat the priest with whips.

Again, the same Jesus who was like, oh, you have lustful thoughts about her. Gouge out your own eyes. It ain't her problem. He seems to have sort of sanded that part off. Yeah, no, he's going complete Old Testament, but trying to make it Jesus' thing too. But to be fair, he's not exactly the only one then or now that is selectively interpreted. It's completely fucking unhinged. Yeah, see, the handmaid still. So Tony goes to war with two local saloons, one of which is like right down the street from his own house.

So he's like a person who can literally get in his face without taking a long walk he decides to fuck with immediately. And this is owned by a guy named Chapman who has local cops paid off. Comstock was super offended that he had to walk past this open bar on the Lord's Day. He also found out that the business hosted dog and cockfighting in the basement. After Tony paid a visit to the commissioners of the Excise Board, Chapman started stalking around Tony's house and threatening him. Worried for his safety, Tony asked both the DA and the chief of police for help, since the local cops were on the dole and he couldn't count on them to protect him.

Yeah, well, I mean, honestly, yeah, all of these people should be like, fuck you. They both gave Tony the same advice. Buy a gun. Yeah. If you can't protect yourself, it's no one else's problem. Then you shouldn't make enemies of all of the locals. Your community hates you. That's not how being a good citizen works. Yeah. And things just kept getting more intense in this situation.

He completely created. Yeah. Well, you know, honestly, it kind of almost would have been better if this guy would have killed him and the end but that's not how it works. Continue. Here's how it went instead. Quote, this is from Comstock Fighter. Professor Homa B Sprague presented Mr. Comstock with a handsome 16 shot Winchester repeating rifle upon which Mr. Comstock sent word to the Chapman gang that he was prepared to take care of them at a rate of 16 a minute. Chapman sent word that he and his gang would raid his shanty and drive him

out of the neighborhood and Chapman told Comstock's servant girl that he was gonna do up Mr. Comstock the first time you met him. One day the dive keeper and bully saw his man coming toward him on the street. He stopped and asked, "'Is your name Comstock?' "'That is my name,' was the quiet reply. "'I'm gonna break your goddamn neck for ya,' was Chapman's immediate threat. "'I have consulted with the Chief of Police and the District Attorney,' said Mr. Comstock, "'and they have advised me to defend myself against you.'"

"'To hell with the Chief of Police and the district attorney, snarled Chapman. "'And this is what I propose to do with it,' said Mr. Comstock, ignoring the interruption and drawing a revolver. "'And if you make any attempt to interfere with me, I'll put daylight through you.' The bully made for his saloon in a lively fashion, and the incident was closed. Later on, Mr. Comstock was waylaid by six toughs, but he disposed with them with equal success." Well, I mean, I'm glad he didn't shoot anyone.

Nobody gets shot, but there's a lot of threats at this point. So with evidence they broke the law, both of the evil saloon owners were arrested and charged with violating the Chick-fil-A business calendar. Tony had statements and witnesses and evidence ready to go, only for the case to be delayed over and over again. From Roundsman of the Lord, quote, In the midst of the proceedings, a matter for solemn comment, McNamara, the other bar owner, drops dead behind his bar, and Comstock observes that he has gone to a higher tribunal. Chapman, in the end, lost his license and was driven out of business.

The cause of righteousness had triumphed, and its leader could look about for new worlds to conquer." Unquote. Near the end of 1871... I hate everything. All the time! Okay. Near the end of 1871, Mrs. Comstock gave birth to a nine-pound baby girl they named Lily. It's a big baby. Who unfortunately did not live past the following summer.

Like a lot of kids in the 19th century don't even know exactly what happened, but she apparently wasn't in good health from the beginning. Realizing that another pregnancy was not a good idea for his beloved wife, and maybe remembering how his own mother died bleeding to death, Tony found a new opportunity when a destitute woman died in childbirth near Chinatown. He and Maggie legally adopted the baby girl and named her Adele. That's nice.

They adopted a baby. They adopted a baby and he did not force his wife to keep getting pregnant until she died. In fact, that was the only pregnancy that's on record for her was the baby. So he stopped fucking his wife. So therefore, I guess. Maybe. I mean, we can assume because they didn't believe in contraception. It's like, well, yeah, I mean, abstinence would be the thing. And again, and that's against his w would, would have been his mother's wishes. I mean, I don't duty was to fucking pop out, baby. I no concept of how much

Comstock was boning his 10 years older wife. So, well, I mean he was a bent up piece of shit So we can assume that he didn't fuck her often. Yeah, so again from Roundsman about this little girl Adele quote Adele was never a very bright child She grew into a straggling Quote, She was a woman of more than 40 so troublesome that it was judged necessary to put her in institution But they say Comstock never knew that Adele was not like other children. She was always devotedly attached to him unquote So after Tony dies years and years later, and she's institutionalized like she apparently you know had some some issues Issues Tom was wrong with her. And you know what? The fact, and honestly, this is probably the only nice thing he's ever done. He adopted a little girl and he loved her and doted on her even though she was a bit

special and not of his own. And these prohibited concepts so much he's slamming this poor chick. This poor, poor child, okay. Well, at this point, she's not a child by the time this was written, but still, whatever. And again, her probably, you know, she was institutionalized just by an asshole husband who just didn't want her anymore for X reason. I'm confident she never read this book. However, Tony's career took a more positive turn.

Employed by Cochrane McLean & Company, he was a traveling salesman for a while earning a solid $1,500 a year plus commission if annual sales beat $100,000. Like the first year he came pretty damn close. It was an achievable goal. I mean, he's actually kind of good at sales apparently. However, he didn't like doing it because, well, it's just not the most manliest profession. Well, and you know, in his work life, it's probably the most normal he could ever be. And to be in sales, you have to be completely fake. Yeah, and sales also is like a social thing in the social side of things, which he doesn't

like the kind of socializing most people do. I'm just surprised that he's good at it. Good enough. He was modestly successful with a wife and daughter he truly adored. One might think that Tony could be content and focus on family, church, and his career. But no, he's not boning his wife, so his pent-up shit becomes everybody else's problem. Yup, his pent-up shit. Something had to be done about it. So from Trumbull's book, Comstock Fighter, by the way, I don't think I ever told you the subtitle to Comstock Fighter is this, I shit you not. Some impressions of a lifetime of adventure in conflict with the powers of evil. Oh my god.

Like this is sucking him up so hard. Well obviously his wife's not sucking him off nearly hard enough. This guy Trumbull does it for him posthumously. Quote, Comstock had come to know young businessmen over and over again whose lives were plainly being ruined by their interest in obscene pictures and literature and other devilish things that they had easy access to. One of his friends had been led astray and corrupted and diseased. You know, that's his fault. That's his problem.

It's not your problem. Certainly not everybody else's problem. So not content to merely attend church and worship God and lead by example, Tony took his holy war to the streets. He wrote an impassioned letter to the secretary of the YMCA with his own ideas about fighting the moral decay of the city. And the letter reached the hands of this dude named Morris K. Jessup, who is a New York banker in high society muckety-muck and at the top of the YMCA. And if you read Trumbull's book, when these two men met, like in shook hands, the heavens parted and God's holy light shined down upon them, quote, quote,

that was the first meeting of these two men who worked shoulder to shoulder in the fight with Weiss from that day in March 1872 until Mr. Jessup's death on January 21st, 1908." He made a friend. He has a fellow weirdo. Unfortunately, now there's two of them. Yes, and one of them has a big checkbook. Strangely enough, this was only weeks after Comstock caught two young men picking a lock and got them busted for burglary No crime on Tony's watch and I don't include a lot of these stories just because there's so much

I can't throw in otherwise we're just never leave or we had to do enough Honestly, like it's stopping a burglary is fine Yeah and there's a bunch of little stories like that I didn't include where there was one point where he was on a train and a Black porter was accused of theft, but he didn't include where there was one point where he was on a train and a black porter was accused of theft, but he didn't believe it. And so Tony like stopped everything and did it. Like he became Poirot and then solved it and proved that the black guy was innocent. And I mean, that's fine. I mean, people are complicated. I'm glad that he wasn't just

a total piece of shit to everyone all the time. I mean, the thing about Tony is if he saw something he thought was wrong, he felt very compelled to take action. And he also enjoyed conflict. He liked getting in people's faces. I mean the thing about Tony is if he saw something he thought was wrong, he felt very compelled to take action. He also enjoyed conflict. He liked getting in people's faces. So newspapers were catching wind of this Comstock character beyond simple court notices. Apparently the Tribune covered him favorably, but Trumbull reports that all other publications

roasted Tony every chance they got. The Mercury wrote that if Comstock was truly the Christian man he liked to pass himself off as, he would find plenty of smutty books on Ann Street. So Tony decided to take the Mercury up on its suggestion and in fact asked for a reporter from his favorite paper, The Tribune, to be assigned to him as he was making seven arrests a single day. So is this like his job now? Well, I mean, no one gave him this job. He's literally just, he's just making citizens arrests. He's just grabbing people and getting a cop and saying, see, but what he does is

he, you know, he buys something that's proof. Yeah. Well, and you know, citizens arrest used to be a thing. It's not anymore. You can't just hunt people down and murder them in your neighborhood for absolutely no reason. So this is before you get any authority whatsoever other than what was vested in him by Jesus Christ. And he was getting lots of attention, a lot more than he did in his day job selling

dry goods. But Tony was not one to rest on his laurels. He always wanted to move up the chain and catch bigger fish. I have a question. Sure. How do you move up a rank if it's not an actual job? There are no ranks. There's no chain. There's no ladder. No, no, we're talking about on the crime chain.

So just, so you know how it is. You go after the street dealers, it's always a losing game. You gotta hit the suppliers. And so Tony got wind. So much. Tony got wind that only four men were responsible for the creation and distribution of no less than 169 different naughty publications and paid off local cops for protection.

So one of them was named William Haynes. From Roundsman of the Lord, quote, William Haynes was formerly an Irish surgeon. He had been in the publishing business in the United States since 1842 and was reputed to have written many of the books he had published. Soon after Comstock began his investigations of the publishers, Haynes had received a message from a friend. Get out of the way, Comstock is after you. Damn fool won't look at money. That same night, Haynes died. It was said by his own hand." The first and definitely not the last, somebody killed themselves rather than be publicly destroyed by Comstock's bullshit. Yeah, he's an asshole.

So then Comstock shows up to obtain all the printing plates and other materials and Mrs. Haynes, the recent widow, greeted him with, you killed my husband. What a fucking piece of shit. Under what authority does he have to go into a man's house and take his fucking wife's belongings because it's all her shit now. Well at this point, he doesn't really have any authority other than he can get the cops to say that these materials need to be seized. So as you'll see, he has to go about this in a particular way.

But the thing is, she's literally like, you killed my husband. And he's like, I never met the guy and made it clear he was there to obtain all the smut and the means of production from the Jersey City Times dated April 5th 1872 quote she said she had been offered $12,000 for them by a New York dealer while mr. Comstock was in her house and Expressman drove to the door with a large number of boxes in his wagon. She finally told him that the boxes contained the plates and electro-types belonging to her husband. Mr. Comstock bought the goods for $500.

They included 140 steel plates and 40 copper plates for printing obscene materials, and electro-type plates for printing 21 obscene books. The steel plates, the woman said, had cost her husband between $12,000 and $15,000, and she further added that he would have left her wealthy The steel plates, the woman said, had cost her husband between $12,000 and $15,000, and she further added that he would have left her wealthy if he had not been compelled to expend all of his money in feeding detectives, who came to him and threatened to arrest him unless he gave them what they asked. Through this woman, Mr. Comstock obtained information of a bookbinder who lives in East

Fifth Street, near Avenue A, who binds books for most of the dealers in obscene works in New York. The binder, receiving a promise that his name should not be disclosed, delivered to Mr. Comstock 175,000 steel and copper plating engravings, which have been left at his office by numerous dealers. Assistant District Attorney Sullivan and Morris K. Jessup, president of the Young Men's Christian Association, have consented to go to Washington and Albany to advocate for the passage of a law by which the sale of immoral books, pictures and articles can be suppressed."

Unquote. Again, this is just some pence up asshole making everybody else's fucking- And that's the thing, in the middle of this, like that story just summed everything up, it's like he basically made an offer of $500 he did not have. He had to go to his buddy Jessup and get funding to actually do this. Yeah, well, because yeah, you're not allowed to just go in and fucking steal her property. You have to at least give her money for it and not leave her destitute, you piece of

shit. And so at this point, he's officially getting money from the president of YMCA and their destinies are forever intertwined. They took the engravings and the plates to the Polytechnic Institute of Brooklyn, where a professor helped them destroy hundreds of steel and dozens of copper plates. Each had cost more than a hundred dollars to create, and it took all day to destroy them all. And while we don't have time to get into exhaustive detail, Tony got even more self-righteous and ridiculous as he tracked down the rest of the four porn publishing

cartel leaders It's just ridiculous Yeah This involved lying and blustering his way into people's homes and responding to threats of gunplay with who can play at that game When Tony had to go through multiple judicial precincts to secure charges against Jeremiah Farrell who published dirty books with no pictures at all Just not just just it just had some words in it that he They were erotica. They were they were dirty The man evaded capture for two weeks and was later found dead Trumbull tells us Comstock was never able to ascertain the cause of his death The spring of 1872 was also when the Committee for the Suppression of Vice was established

internally by the YMCA, copying the name and purpose of a group that already existed in England. This let the group fund Tony's crusade to the tune of $8,498.14 in less than two years, and this is in the 1870s, so that's a lot of money, but allowed him to be the only person with his name in all the newspapers. The folks at the YMCA wanted the results, not the smoke. And Tony, he enjoyed the confrontation. Yeah.

He was a fucking evil piece of shit. Made him feel like he's a warrior for God. Yeah. Yeah. He's God's fucking asshole crusader. Jesus wanted none of this. But in addition to that fun was to actually fund the stuff he would like that, like buying shit they have to buy, the destruction of materials, storage, all that stuff.

But they did start paying him directly for the work as well, starting in May 1872 with a $500 token of appreciation. Which once again, in the 1870s is not a bad little token. That's not a, yeah, that's not a bad gig, I guess. He gets money for being an asshole. So he's now supplementing his income through this stuff that he started as a hobby. See now the song YMCA is just ruined forever for all of us. And I was ruined by the only surviving member of the village last year.

Look it up. But the big year of 1872 wasn't over for Comstock just yet. Because it was the year Comstock didn't just go after the male publishers of porn. He decided it was time to put women behind bars. Oh yeah, this is where the actual war against women comes in. Yeah, just bring it on. You know, but only the bad ones. Yeah, the bad ones. Just these women fucking living their goddamn life Their crime of not being like his dear departed mother and sweet angelic wife. I fucking hate him Oh, not as much as you're about to I mean the good news is is I would have been born in almost any other fucking

Part point in time. I would have been burned at the stake as a witch Well, we'll see because you're but we're about to meet some groovy ladies. Yeah, unfortunately. I hope none of them die, but I'm sure some of them do. So let me make it clear that in order to just get through Tony Comstock's story and move on with our damn lives, I can't give most of his victims the attention they deserve. So I highly recommend anyone interested in really getting into these people should check out Amy Son's book, The Man Who Hated Women, because her focus is not on Comstock but about the people he persecuted. And she does really good job. Plus she really gets into the fact that most of these women and even some of the men were parts of the anarchist

and socialist movements of the day. So there's a lot of politics. The fact that these people were on the fringe left was all part of this. So they all are worthy of more attention than they're getting here, but, uh, yeah, their crime is mainly being way too groovy for the late 19th century. So let's start here with Victoria Woodhull and her sister, Tennessee Claflin, were an unusual pair to say the least. They were born dirt poor, but turned their family's beliefs in spiritualism and alternative medicine into a traveling road show where they developed kind of larger than life personalities.

They were sniggle salesmen. Well, I mean, kind of they were like, they would, they would do like in energy healing and then, you know, like weird cures, but they would also do spiritualism, talking to dead relatives and shit. So they were into to Reiki and, dead relatives and shit. So they were into Terechi and crystals. And yeah, so they're basically, they're the people from the herb shop down the street. But they did an interesting career jump here because when they moved to New York in the 1870s, they met a guy named Cornelius Vanderbilt.

Yes, of those Vanderbilts. And while giving, you know, they were doing psychic readings and healing ailments and they hit it off and Cornelius was willing to back them financially in exchange for their services as spiritual advisors. So Victoria in Tennessee opened the very first brokerage firm on Wall Street operating exclusively by women. That's cool. And they did quite well for themselves.

So they suddenly got rich and didn't have to do the show anymore and literally became legitimate brokers on Wall Street. That's awesome. But again, the fact that they started as just basically like hippie chicks, that's cool. They came from fucking nothing. They are truly self-made women. This also, they kicked down the doors of high society with new money and brash attitude and they got really political. Victoria, for example, was nominated by the Equal Rights Party as the first woman in our country to ever run for president.

That's fucking badass, okay? And her running mate, Frederick Douglass, who probably didn't know about it until after the elections. This was two years after she testified before Congress that the 14th and 15th constitutional amendments already granted women the right to vote. She's saying you don't have to give it to us. We already have it. We already have it. Fuck you. Didn't work But hey, it was a good argument. Meanwhile, her sister Tennessee ran for Congress in New York and made a bid for the Colonel C of the 9th Regiment New York National Guard. That's awesome. It didn't work out there, but later she was elected Colonel of the 85th Regiment, all black soldiers. Very cool. So now these chicks kind of

kind of rad. They also had a interesting relationships with men. The sisters advocated for free love which was not polyamory. The free love movement back then was was sort of about equality and justice in relationships that all parties should have the freedom to marry, divorce, or decide to have children. You mean like women should just have the right to choose what they wanna do with their lives? Which most people would even find

is kind of the norm these days, but back then it was very radical. Well no, because we weren't people, we were still property. They pushed for the legalization of sex work and for sex education to be offered to women and that standards of dress should be the same for both genders. Cool. And when you say sex work, are you talking about prostitution? Prostitution. Yeah, they're saying that, yeah, they should be legalized.

Yeah. It's like, fucking just let women just be. It's like, and if this is their only way of making money, then fuck you. Let them do it. The sisters also supported welfare for mothers and children, workers' rights, and the eight-hour workday which didn't exist yet along with fair wages. And again, they were connected with the anarchist movement and knew some of the people of the day. And what year is this? 1872. Okay. So this is that time. Yep. Oh, this is when the- Suffrage is amping up, everything's starting to go.

And so then they decided to start talking about this shit more and more in a weekly newspaper, Woodhull and Claflin's Weekly, which promoted all of the above ideas and also was the first English language publication to print the Communist Manifesto. Radical. Tony Comstock certainly wasn't the only moralist in 1870s New York. He was just the only one running around with a gun and acting like a lunatic. Another self-righteous critic was Reverend Henry Ward Beecher and Victoria couldn't resist the chance to slam back at a critic who was also a hypocrite.

Hypocritic? Because this guy was literally giving sermons and talking shit about the sisters and then they learn however that the good Reverend was making one of his married lady parishioners scream to God in a private one-on-one session. So they printed an article spilling the tea on the whole Beecher affair. That's fucking amazing. They're like, oh you want to talk about shit about me? I know some shit about you buddy. So they printed this article about this affair this famous preacher's having and that's when Tony Comstock made his move attempting to file charges in both state and federal court on the charge that it's illegal to send obscene material through the mail. The article taught reference referencing

sex between two people is is illegal. was this guy so hard that's news because there were laws on the books Even though they were kind of weak and toothless, but he's still trying he's like, let's just go for it So to sell the case the prosecutor focused on the libel besmirching the character of a beloved man of God rather than the actual Very stupid law that had been broken because there was no libel wasn't a thing in the case That's a civil thing and he did not sue because he did not want discovery. The defense pointed out the worst words used in the article were token and virginity. This triggered some prosecutorial dancing to try to make the charges stick and the sisters ended up spending a month in jail before

securing bail and keeping two attractive ladies behind bars for that long without a trial kind of shifted the public Sympathy because they would start holding court in jail and reporters would come in and talk Yeah, and they were like we didn't do anything wrong Go ahead and fucking fact check. And these are not only like these. There's not like groovy chicks, but they're hot So which which like makes it a perfect story for journalists because again, I mean I hate to say this But I mean to this day if you want a good news story, make it about an attractive white woman.

Yeah. And there were two of them, sisters. Two sisters, which complicated love lives too, because I don't even get into it. But if you read up on Victoria Wittow. And again, who fucking cares what she's doing? She divorced her first husband, which is already rare enough back then. Then she remarried. And then that guy was a drunk and she had just sort of separated from him, maybe or

maybe not. Didn't officially divorce. Got with this other dude whose last name was Blood. Then later on, the drunk husband comes back just kind of miserable and desperate. So they just kind of take him in. But the rumor was they were having some kind of Thruple and like lots of scandalous stuff related to Victoria and Tinney and still none of it is anybody else's business shouldn't be but unfortunately, that's definitely not the 1870s

Alright So the newspapers had a field day with reporting and opinion columns laced with humor and innuendo Tony was disgusted that anyone could laugh at such serious matters and moral degradation. The next year, Tony attended the sisters' trial and wrote in his diary about the crowd he saw in the courtroom, quote, They were present the most disgusting set of free lovers. The women part, thin-faced, cross, sour-looking, each wearing a look of, well, I am boss and, oh, for a man, the men unworthy

of the name men, licentious looking, sneakish, mean, contemptible, making a true man blush to be seen near them. This is free love." Unquote. Free love. Now if that doesn't remind you of like modern right-wing douchebags talking about purple-haired lesbians with nose rings and effeminate Soy boy men. It's like nothing changes It's just the language is a little different. It's always the same but you don't call them licentious anymore. They're silly boys Whatever. I mean I've learned anything about history is that it comes in cycles and we've never escaped Oh, yeah, apparently hundred-year cycles, which is wild

Anyway, the story of the trial is long and complicated and during it Victoria Woodholtz became obsessed When talking shit about Comstock in her speeches and in the weekly good for her So Tony decided to have the sisters arrested repeatedly every time he started spotted a copy of the newspaper on sale at a newsstand, despite the fact that the case was not even going well in court. So he just like maliciously gets them arrested and having to pay bail over and over again. And these women are having to shell out ridiculous amounts of money just so they don't have to rot until the trial is over.

And that's just out of pure spite. Yeah, because he's a fight. Well, at some point, this is... someone should stop him. So from Roundsman. Because he's not an actual fucking policeman. Not yet, he's not. From Roundsman. Quote, on June 27th, the case was dismissed, prosecution having proved, according to the

Brooklyn Eagles headline, an inglorious failure. The judge ruled that the law of 1872, under which indictment was drawn, did not apply to newspapers but only to the books, pamphlets, and pictures, which its provisions expressly stipulated. New thankfulness that he had been able to have another bill passed, a stronger, better, more inclusive bill than the paltry statute of 1872, must have mingled with a disappointment in Comstock's breast. The lady brokers, surrounded by a crowd of congratulating friends and smothered in bouquets, were free at last. Anthony consoled himself by going out and arresting Simpson, the book dealer, for the third time."

He's such a shit. What a piece of shit. He's like, god damn it, that didn't go well, so he just goes and picks on one of his earliest victims over that he'd already arrested twice before. I hate him so much. Don't worry, he's just getting started. So Tony had completely failed and was widely mocked for his involvement, but the attention of the case transformed him from a local New York guy to one of national importance because suddenly newspapers everywhere are picking up on this because

and you would think the newspapers, especially since he's going after newspapers, would be not real. Well, yeah, but he's good copy. He's a good story. Yeah, I know. That's why all these ass. That's why we know the fucking names of all these fucking pieces of shit. It's because they're still around and not quiet. So and as stated in Roundsman, quote, the name Comstock was becoming a convenient synonym for prudery, puritanism, and officious meddling, unquote. But it's time now for him to take it to the next level. Oh, he's not enough of a piece of shit yet. He has to take it further.

Because he learned an important lesson in this whole trial of the two sisters. And that's that the law that you have to work with was not strong enough. Yeah. And now he has to make new law. He needs a new law. So he wanted something broad that left no room for titillating topics to travel through the United States mail. He tried to get one person arrested under the old law.

Again, this is a guy named Frank Leslie, for a paper called Days Doing. And all it is just advertisements was the only thing it even had that was scandalous. But he just let any advertiser be there, including things like contraception and abortion services and other things that Tony did not approve of. Yeah, he was advertising things that people might actually fucking want or need. Right. But that case never even went to trial. So a bitter Tony Comstock set his sights on Washington D.C.

As they do. Now, I know this is going to shock you, but in the late 19th century, the United States Congress was filled with shady politicians with direct ties to big business. Oh no, you don't say. Thankfully, we fixed all that shit. No, there's no insider trading going on today right now as we're talking. When Tony showed up to push a glorious new censorship law, Capitol Hill was dealing with a gigantic scandal tied to the Union Pacific Railroad. And suddenly it seemed like the perfect

time where elephant congresspeople would rather talk about protecting Americans from the evil of nudity and profanity. So after a few trips to DC, Tony records the following in his diary, quote, about 1130 went up to the Senate with my exhibits, spent an hour or two talking and explaining the extent of the nefarious business and answering questions. Buckingham, Pratt, Ames, Rumsley, Cole, and numerous others were present. All were very much excited and declared themselves ready to give me any law I might ask for if it was only within the bounds of the Constitution. I also saw the Vice President.

All said they were ready to pass my bill promptly this session." Oh good. So fucking at this time there were right wing wing nut jobs fucking just yeah ready to go Well not just right wing like like so many people were caught up in this that they were like very ready to Just this was an easy so however You know that the look over here tactic that that's not happening right however Let's just throw a bucket of water on little young, naive Tony because he's literally like, yeah, they said this is going to be smooth sailing.

This is Congress. This is Washington, DC, motherfucker. Yeah. Well, now granted, if they're actually like performing government the way it's supposed to run, then yeah, government is slow, motherfucker. Yep. So Tony hung in there through every legislative step we learned from Schoolhouse Rock, and though he found it tiresome and tedious, he was also scandalized to attend the DC social

functions and find women he described in his journal this way. Quote, almost caricatures of everything but what a modest lady ought not to be. They were brazen, dressed extremely silly, enameled faces and powdered hair, low dresses, hair most ridiculous and altogether most extremely disgusting to every lover of pure, noble, modest woman. What are they? Who do they belong to? How can we respect them? They disgrace our land and yet consider themselves ladies." So basically they were just dressed really nicely for the time. I think the phrase, who do they belong to, tells you a lot right there, buddy. Yeah.

Well, it's like, who do they belong to? Themselves, and not to mention their husbands, these were just rich women dressed like rich ladies. Yeah, these were like Congress. Yeah, they probably just looked fucking stellar. These were the, these were the rich, the elite and the attractive of the time. Puritan modesty. You know? Yeah.

And again, you will never find Puritan modesty in DC. It's never been there. Not once. Thomas Jefferson was the first fucking president in the White House in Washington, DC. And he liked French style parties. fucking president in the White House in Washington DC. He liked French style parties. And again, he had fucking Dolly Madison deck out the White House with congressional money

and by God, she did. It looked good. It's really sad that she had to save Washington's painting and they burnt it all down just for her to go back with her husband and have burnt it all down just for her to go back with her husband and have to do it again. Dolly Madison rocks by the way. So each delay made Tony a nervous wreck, but he learned through the revision process that the committee on appropriations had marked $3,425 for a special agent with the idea that

the postmaster general would name Comstock for that position. But back in New York, the committee for the Suppression of Vice passed a resolution, quote, that Mr. C be authorized and instructed by this committee not to take any salary. To this Tony agreed. He didn't want any tax money sullying the pure and noble work. The House version of the bill included the special agent provision meant for Tony, but the Senate deleted it. He furiously scribbled in his diary, quote, they may do and say what they please about me, but if they interfere with my work, then beware. Comstock is nothing. The master's work is everything, unquote. And this is where we're getting the Comstock act.

So there were more delays, more arguing in Congress, more tension due to the ongoing Union Pacific scandal. The Speaker of the House had promised Tony he would call up the bill as Congress worked late into Saturday evening and nothing. Tony hung in there for half an hour after the midnight bells before realizing with horror he was violating God's commandment to keep the Sabbath sacred from Trumbull's book. Quote, He left the Capitol, walked down to Pennsylvania Avenue, then up the avenue to his room.

And as he walked through the cold March night, the stress of his conflict seemed to force the perspiration out of every pore of his body. His brain was on fire. Even if he could forget his personal discomfiture, he was facing another full year without a law adequate to check the blighting evils that he now knew he must give his life to blotting out. That thought was too much. He was

willing to surrender all he had in doing the work for the Lord, but to this crushing blow in the Lord's own service he could not say, thy will be done. He reached his room and he tried to pray. He could still pray for his bill, but he would not pray a willing acceptance of God's will if it were to cross his own." So Tony's like... It's not enough about him. Yeah, he's like, no, he couldn't bring himself to just say, thy will be done. I just accept whatever you want, God. He's like, no, I gotta have this. We gotta stop this, God. You gotta get with me on this. We gotta stop the porn.

What he seems to not understand is he's the only one that cares. Not the only one, sadly. A bunch of other people care too. If it was only those things, if it were only him, he would not have been a problem. The thing is, it's like they're the loud minority. Tony spent some quality time freaking out, but later that afternoon he ran into the chaplain of the Senate at the local YMCA and found out that his bill had passed the House and was quickly passed in the Senate. Hours of torment and self-flagellation had been for nothing. That night he watched fireworks explode in the skies of Washington in celebration of President

Grant's second term and soon made his way back home to Brooklyn to celebrate his birthday with his devoted wife. He was 29 years old. Jesus Christ. He's still young. There's so much more of him to go. Good God. So he was a young piece of shit. Oh yeah, he got started early. Before long, newspapers everywhere were scouring their advertising sections for anything that could be used to send their editors to jail. Two months later, private donors funded the creation of the now independent New York society

for the suppression of vice with Tony acting as its chief enforcer. So you're going to agree with me here. I absolutely refuse to do a three-part episode on Anthony Comstock. So now that we've covered his origin story and the creation of the Comstock law so that the weirdo authors of project 2025 want to bring back into our lives, we're just going to kind of do a quick overview of his later antics. Oh, thank God. Yeah, we're not.

This is, we're in it. I was, you said three part originally. No, no, no way. Fuck that. No, fuck that and fuck this guy. I did like the law, like I wanted to kind of really get into the early part of what he did and do that. And now we're going to just do a more quick tour of his later bullshit. So in 1874, that guy Charles Conroy, his very first score, was really getting sick of being

arrested. So he pulled a knife and slashed Tony's face open. Maybe that's why Tony then shows to focus more of his efforts on anarchists, socialists, and free love advocates. Yeah, but anarchists will really get you. You don't want to get fucking murdered, don't fuck with an anarchist. Well, apparently, continually arresting a street magazine dealer wasn't the safest thing for him to do either.

Yeah. Well, and you know, he should probably do things more broadly and anonymously, but that's not how he does things because he's a complete asshole. He likes dressing up and wearing disguises. You know what? I hope that they get the other side of his face and he looks like the Joker. Continue. Yeah.

And the injury did give him problems for life because he got kind of stabbed in the side of the head and he got his cheek slashed open to where his face was flapping open, had to get it sewed back on. Good. I hope it hurt. I hope it fucking bothered him forever. And the mutton chops helped hide the scar. Yeah. Unfortunately, he was still fucking bald as a cue.

So a woman named Ann Lohman was another target, a woman who provided contraception and abortion education to women under the street name Madame Restelle. Comstock had her arrested and the 67 year old woman had already done a year in jail earlier in life and had no intentions of doing hard time, so she killed herself. Yeah. All Tony had to say, a bloody ending to a bloody life. Fuck him. I hope he gets an infection and it bothers him a lot. I hope it hurts. Whatever the fuck he has, I hope it hurts. And it was in this episode where the public became more aware of Tony's methods, in which he would write letters and place orders under a false name or go undercover to make a sting. He was mocked in national newspapers relentlessly from this point forward. Good! In 1879, Tony's target was a man named Ezra Haywood, a righteous dude with a sick beard

and founder of the New England Labor Reform League, who advocated for free contracts, free money, free markets, free transit, and free land. That's a lot of free shit. Tony charged him for mailing obscene material in the form of a pamphlet titled, Cupid's Yokes or the Binding Forces of Conjugal Life, an essay to consider some moral and physiological phases of love and marriage wherein is asserted the natural right and necessity of sexual self-government. For attacking traditional marriage, Haywood was sentenced to two years at the Norfolk County Jail doing hard labor. Poor bastard.

Now Ida C. Craddock was another woman targeted by Tony in 1902. She was a sex educator and feminist who provided instructional manuals intended for married couples and also an occultist associated with a theosophical society. You know, madam Blavatsky. That's, that's going to a different realm altogether. Cool. So, when her tract, Right Marital Living, was printed in a Chicago medical journal,

she was arrested, pleaded guilty, and received a suspended sentence. Next, she was convicted in New York for a different publication and spent three months in the workhouse on Blackwell Island. I hate him so much. Crossover to a different podcast. Yeah, no kidding. And see the Nell on Blackwell Island. I hate him so much. Cross over to a different podcast. Yeah, no kidding. And see the Nellie Bly episode. The moment she got out of jail, Tony arrested her again for violation of his precious law.

She should poison him. Sentenced to five years for trying to teach married couples how to enjoy a healthy and respectful sex life, Ida slashed her wrists and inhaled coal gas to end her life. Leaving behind a note that reads, quote, I am taking my life because a judge at the instigation of Anthony Comstock has declared me guilty of a crime which I did not commit, the circulation of obscene literature, unquote. God. Yeah, he's got a body count, and I haven't even mentioned them all.

By this point, I think 15, or we would be up to, or at least around that, like over a dozen people. I hope that there is a heaven and I hope Jesus met him there and said, and wanted to explain to him in detail exactly why he was going to hell. And then kicked him straight down. So the problem with Christian nationalists is when you give them an inch, they throw you in prison. After finding success going after newspapers and political tracks, Tony broadened his

crusade to censor the theater, novels, art, and educational materials. He began going after famous authors and beloved books. Tony even decided that certain medical textbooks were to be obscene and should be banned nationwide for literally just having matter of effect medical information. You know, I wish to God we weren't, this weren't anywhere relevant, but considering yesterday I went to go by to kill a mockingbird for my son and it was on the banned books list. Of course, when you fuck with writers, the writers tend to fuck back. Oh no, see that's the thing, the artsy

people, we're, do not fire us up. So quoting from Smithsonian Magazine, quote, in 1905 Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw popularized the term comstockery, defined in our last episode, which referred to the strict censorship of materials considered obscene. So quote within the quote, comstockery is the world's standing joke at the expense of the United States, wrote Shaw on The Times in 1905. Europe likes to hear of such things. It confirms the deep-seated conviction of the old world that America is a provincial place, a second-rate country-town civilization after all." Unquote. Yeah, no, we look like fucking bumpkins. Yep. Certainly not helping the rep. So we're getting made fun of by George Bernard Shaw. But I'm so glad that none of this is happening today.

Yeah, the rest of the world isn't looking at us like we're insane and stupid. Like we're fucking ridiculous. You might have heard of this one. Margaret Sanger worked as a nurse in some of the poorest sections of New York City. Now her whole life is an interesting story. And this work led her to see the horrors of unwanted pregnancies and back alley abortions. She was an advocate and educator for birth control and pushed to legalize contraception so women could decide when and whether they wished to become pregnant. Which you know, considering Anthony Comstock didn't want his fucking wife to die in child birth, you would think that he would be sympathetic to that cause, but no, he hates women, he's a piece of shit.

So yeah, I'm sure he went after her hard. Well, I mean, you should only have sex for the purposes of procreation. So Sanger published candid columns about relationships, sexual intercourse, and even masturbation. As you can guess, these are all totally illegal under the Comstock Act. Oh yeah, they were. Becoming more explicitly political, Margaret traveled to Europe to avoid prosecution. Since he could not get his hands on Margaret, Tony had her husband William arrested in 1915, which really sucked because he'd been estranged from his wife for a few years by that point, but he still went to jail for her.

He's like, well. Meanwhile, she's hanging out with anarchists over in Europe. I hope she's having a good time. I hope she's writing all of the masturbation pamphlets. She gets the last laugh because 1915 was the last year Tony could have anyone arrested because of a trip to San Francisco to attend the International Purity Congress. He caught a cold on that trip and it gave way to pneumonia when he returned home. And finally, on September 21st, 1915, Anthony Comstock finally dropped dead in front of an astonished doctor. Yay. His supporters carved in memory of a fearless witness on his tombstone.

As for Margaret Sanger, you might know her as the founder of a little organization called Planned Parenthood and she lived until 1966. And she was fucking dope. She was. She's worthy of her own episode. Her own many books have been written about Sanger. I'm sorry that her husband had to go to prison. For a little while. For a little while.

So yeah, Anthony Comstock is one of those people who was the right combination of indoctrinated and damaged that left him emotionally frozen as a young man struggling with grief and temptation and so unable to move past any of it that he instead tried to fix the rest of us. He was self-righteous, without humility, judgmental and vengeful, yet constantly anguished and full of guilt and self-hatred. He's another dude who could have used modern medicine and therapy but instead projected his issues onto everyone else and did a lot of damage. How you feeling about good old Tony Comstock? Well, I'm glad he's dead. That's pretty much, that's where the ending.

Said 110 years. Yeah. So, to close out and sum him up, I'll quote one last time from Roundsman of the Lord. What was this man? The ignorant foe of culture? The symbol of American provincialism and intolerance? The cruel and fanatical bigot? Or the defender of little children?

The fearless witness for the right? God's soldier? Perhaps he was all these things, in that strange, fateful medley which makes a human soul. The record of the man, Anthony Comstock, is diffuse. It sprawls amorphously across our pages. From this clutter of good report and evil, how can we select a label? How epitomize the confusion in a pat and simple phrase? These biographers turn from the task,

perhaps concerning this man they know too little or too much." Unquote. And Now everyone knows too much about Anthony Comstock. Who is a complete weirdo piece of shit. Yeah. And you know, we wouldn't have to care about him except that stupid law is now being considered a great idea again by people who are very quickly making it all happen. Yep, because America is the couch now. We're great again. We're all gonna get fucked. So thank you everyone for making it through the tale of Tony Comstock's stupid facial hair

And thank you to Kevin always and Raven sound studios to get us out of here I want to mention again You can go to chainsaw history comm to get all of our back catalog and show notes our YouTube channel Or a tick tock for as long as that's still in existence blog and show notes, our YouTube channel or TikTok for as long as that's still in existence. You can find those bonus episodes on our feed and on the website that include shows like The Value Of where Bambi reads me children's biographies from the 1980s. Oh, I got one for you too. If you want to support the work of Margaret Sanger and give Tony Comstock one little fuck

you, I recommend you support Planned Parenthood. Yes, absolutely. Support Planned Parenthood. It provides education and support services for sexual and gender related issues. Learn all the ways they help men, women, and families and consider donating at PlannedParenthood.org. Yep. And they also do mammograms and test women for breast cancer. Yeah.

Yeah. They have a whole suite of women's health services. Yes, they do. And now we can celebrate Tony's life by drinking, smoking, watching porn. Jerking off. Enjoying life, not going to church, and yeah, all the other things he wouldn't approve of, at least while they're still legal. I'm going to wear a low cut shirt and show my titties today. I am not.

But yeah, next time we're going back to American figures of government and way more modern history, but that'll be all. We'll catch you later everybody. All right. Bye.