Chainsaw History - The Value of the Mayo Brothers

Episode Date: May 23, 2026

It's the Mayo Brothers—doctorin's the game. They're not like the others who get all the blame! When your health is in trouble you can call them on the double. They're smarter than the others—you'll be hooked on the Brothers! Unh!Join us once more as Bambi Chambers reads us a bedtime story about doctors who not only believed in advancing medical science, but only charging patients what they can afford. This time it's The Value of Sharing: The Story of the Mayo Brothers. In this children's biography from the 1980s we meet a pair of magical talking scissors and take a trip to the circus for no reason at all. The boys grew up holding ether-soaked rags on patients' faces while their Dad performed surgery on the kitchen table and their Mom read them medical journals as bedtime stories, or at least that's Jamie's interpretation! Support the show and stay tuned with us on social media and discover more on our website: http://www.chainsawhistory.com

Welcome to Chainsaw History, everybody. This is the Value Tales series where my sister Bambi reads me cheesy children's biographies from the 1980s. I am your co-host, Jamie Chambers. And as mentioned, this is my sister Bambi. Hello. And we are once again out of studio and recording DIY style in Bambi's bedroom. Yes, once again, brought to you from my bedroom. But what a perfectly cozy place.

The Poe Dog. But it's a nice cozy place for a bedtime story about... The Mayo Brothers. The Mayo Brothers. The inventors of mayonnaise. Not quite. Oh, I must have gotten that one wrong. Yeah.

Well, it's in my continuing series of Fuck R of K Jr. And everything that he stands for. So... The Mayo Brothers are the ones who go down a big pipe and then go a mushroom kingdom and fight a dinosaur turtle that breathes fire? No, those are the Mario brothers. Mario brothers. I've got a lot to learn today.

You've got a lot to learn today about the Mayo Brothers. There's a clinic that many people have heard of. Yes, the Mayo Clinic. Let's talk about the cover real quick. Oh, yeah. The cover's pretty special, Jamie. Well, speaking of mayonnaise, two very generic-looking white guys, even though one of them seems to have red eyes for some reason.

They're both wearing big green gloves, and they're standing in front of just a big-ass building that looks maybe like a hospital. Yeah, well, they're wearing their lad coats. They're in doctor gear. They're in their doctor gear. And they have... And one of them has blue shoes.

One of them has clamps. They have masks. Look, Jamie, they have masks. Don't you know that masks are bad for you and completely unnecessary? Yeah, well, people still like them for surgery. Weird. Yeah, weird.

I was told that masks don't spread germs. So, William Mayo was born 1861, and Charles Mayo was born 1865. So this is back when, like, being a doctor was just on, it was still a little early before the way we consider it in modern time. Yeah, and the fact that they don't give you the time period, feel. feels weird. And yeah, and despite all my jokes, I am a little bit familiar with the Mayo brothers and the Mayo Clinic and all of that. So, you know, as we always like to start true stories, once upon a time. Yep, this is all made up bullshit. Not so very long ago, there were two young brothers named Will and Charlie Mayo. Will and Charlie lived in a little town in Minnesota, where

their father was a country doctor. They loved to ride across the prairie with him when he made his calls. Oh, they're from Minnesota? Minnesota. Well, they're all god-faring people there, don't you know? Yeah, they are. They were proud and happy whenever the busy doctor helped a sick person feel well. But Dr. Mayo couldn't always help. Once, when the boys came home, after they had been out with their family, they felt very sad. What's the matter, their mother asked. Last week, Dad operated on a boy to try to save his life, said Charlie. Well, dad couldn't save him. He got an infection well at it. And dad couldn't stop the infection. He has pre-antibiotic, so. Yep. So I'll always the little, the pictures of the urchins. Oh. Her sad, there was all the blood and guts and then he died. He just died.

And their mustachioed father. Yep. So the mustachio dad came in and he was like, yeah, it's really hard to stop infections. Don't know how that happens. And, the mom's like, just a minute, I have to get something. And then she went out and she was smiling and why do you suppose she was smiling at a time like this? Because her husband's a doctor and she has access to groovy drugs. Why, she was smiling because she had just thought of a way to help her husband. Oh. Yeah. So anyway.

It's not the laudanum. No. See, he's always out. doing his doctorly shit. So he has his wife on top of for other, you know, wifely duties and, you know, house duties. She's reading medical journals.

Oh. So she was like, hey, there's this dude named Louis Pastor and you... Cross over your previous episode. Right. See? Making connections of fuck RFK Jr. Yeah, germ theory. It's a whole thing.

Germ theory. So, the doctor, he was really intrigued. And they were like, oh, well, we can't really afford to move to New York to study under Louis Pasteur. And she was like, fuck it, we're going to make it happen. So the family packs up. And they move more than a thousand miles to New York.

Tell you what, Mr. We are going to move to New York, no matter what you had to say about it. In New York, Dr. Mayo joined other doctors who were working at Bellevue Hospital. He used a microscope to study the germs that caused infections. He learned that germs can't live in very clean places, and that boiling things in hot water can kill germs that are there. Most important, he learned what to do to stop germs from causing infections during an operation. But the idea of actually cleaning your instruments and washing your fucking hands and... Yeah. And, you know, sanitizing things and sterilization.

Because, again, it's pretty underbikes. But he also learned from Louis Pasteur that there's magical, see-in-the-dark soldiers that you can inject inside little toys to fight the... Yeah. To fight the rabies. So Dr. Mayo shared what he learned with his wife and the boys. We are making wonderful progress. But we should have medical equipment, especially a microscope.

If only microscopes didn't cost so much money. So once again, Mrs. Mayo said, fuck it. We'll just borrow money from the house. And you can buy whatever you need and we'll go back to Minnesota. Because what they don't say in this is he had malaria. So he needed a really, like, dry climate and shit. So you go to the land of... A thousand lakes.

Even though, yeah, it's not as humid in Minnesota. It's true. Yeah, it's a lot drier. I lived Minnesota adjacent for many years. So they moved. Oh, Jamie, you've got to check this out, though. Oh, cool. I don't understand why he needs a microscope,

considering the germs or the size of my fist. Yeah, right. I mean, and they're evil looking. It seems like it's like, take those motherfuckers out. Bat-winged demons. Like, yes, you should boil those in water. While everyone else looks on a... They're like, wow.

Well, they're waiting for their turns. Look at all these mustachioed motherfuckers. They're in a cue. All of them want to look at these little gremlins. I like the ones with the mullets. They're my favorite. But they have the fancy upturned blent. All but what?

See, all but two have glorious mustaches. Mm-hmm. But, man, those mustaches, they're pretty glorious. So these guys, these kids were doomed to become doctors. Your dad was a doctor, and their mother. was constantly like reading the medical journals for bedtime stories. Yeah. Well, you know, see, this is the kind of grooming that we find acceptable because it's being

groomed into like doing something useful and helpful to human. Yeah. It's, you know, this is how children used to do things, you know. It's like you either get born into it or you get apprenticed off into, to learn different occupations. So this is occupational. grooming, which is okay as long as there's no sexual shit involved. Yeah, both of their parents loved medicine and all this shit was going on as they were growing up.

So naturally, they're interested in learning all about it. Dr. Mayo got a microscope. Look how happy these motherfuckers are. So now we see the eye magnified into a giant eyeball at the bottom of the microscope as you look at this stinking pile of whatever the fuck that is. I know. It still seems like they didn't need the microscope. too much, but whatever. Well, that just looks like, I think that's actually what they're looking at.

Like, like, that's like old leftovers and they're looking at the germs, the microscope, because it just looks like a pile of goop. Yep. So the boys were very excited and the doctor let them look in the microscope. And he was like, you got to be careful. This shit's expensive. You break this. I break you, kid.

Mm-hmm. So, but, you know, again, grooming. So they, they were cool. They get to see little microscopic books. They're like, woo. So the boys were careful, and they learned to use a microscope before other children learned the multiplication tables. The other thing they did, while they were still very young,

a thing that surprised many people. What do you think it was? They often watched their father operate, and they helped him when they could. Well, I was assuming that from the first part. You're like, yeah, we watched dad operating this kid. And then he fucking got mad. Oh my God?

So, yes, they're watching, like, live surgeries. Yeah. With little boys. Yeah, and not just, like, helping six people. But he's like, no, come in here. Hey, Will, Charlie, hold this guy down while I get this saw. There were no hospitals in southern Minnesota at the time. So Dr. Mayo often performed operation on kitchen tables.

The boys were so small that they had to stand on wooden boxes to see what their father was doing. And even when they were young, Their dad talked to them as if they were grown. He shared his knowledge with them and explained exactly what was going on. Oh, my goodness. Did I even say that it was the value of sharing? Because it's very important. They're going to talk about it a lot in a few minutes.

This is the value of sharing. And so far, the dad is sharing the glory of watching their father take a bone saws to screaming people on their dining room table. Because, yeah, again, you know, they're talking about surgery, but surgery in the late 1800s was mostly amputations and very primitive shit by today's standards. He wasn't exactly, you know, performing organ transplants or anything. Yeah, although they did have anesthesia and what they don't need. It looked like ether. Yeah.

And one of the menial tasks that their father gave him was like administering anesthesia. was one of their jobs. I love, I love having an 11-year-old anesthesiologist. It always just gives me that confidence right before a procedure. And then also remember just how unregulated and crazy, but they ever was with drugs back then. These kids could get high whatever the fuck they wanted. Right.

And so, which when you say they can get high whenever the fuck they wanted, it might make this next part make a little more sense. So quote, most of the time, the boys were proud to be helping their father, but sometimes they didn't pay strict attention. They were like most children after all, and at times they daydreamed a bit. It was during one of those daydreaming times

when their father was operating and talking to them, and they weren't paying much attention, that something very odd happened. A pair of ordinary surgical scissors suddenly seemed to have two twinkling eyes, which were staring straight at the boys. If they tell this to their doctor or father, they might be sent that to a very pleasant place.

Look at them. They look like they were dipping into the ether. Well, it's like, yeah, they're looking at it together, so they have a shared hallucination fueled by drugs of a parasurgical shears gaining sentience. The fumes begin to them. So, quote, I must be seeing things, thought Will.

A pair of scissors is looking at me, Charlie said to himself. And then something even stranger happened. Oh, dear, is this a good trip or a bad trip? We're about to find out. The scissors began to talk. Hi, boys. It seemed to say, my name is True Sides. I'd like to be your friend.

Wow, thought the boys. That would be really neat. There's so many questions. Like, every, before, it's always been one person with their pretend friend. So now this is a shared hallucination between these boys. Yeah. Okay. Possibly while administering anesthesia.

Yeah. So, yeah, there's nothing but good times ahead. How does this pair of scissors, you know, contribute to the story of Will and Charlie? I will tell you, quote, they seem to be more than a little puzzled. How come you're called true sides? they asked. That's a funny name. Not for me, said the scissors. Have you ever seen scissors that could cut with only one blade? Of course not. Each side has to help the other. It's called sharing. It's also called cooperation and working together. But I'd like to think of it as sharing.

Yeah, nothing says sharing like a pair of scissors, which is designed to cut things into Peace. Okay. Sure, buddy. You know, the only thing they seem to be sharing are hallucinations. I think we need more drugs for this to make any fucking sense. Quote, your dad is sharing right now, True Sides went on. He explained this operation to you, so he's going to be doing his part, isn't he?

What about you? Are you doing your part? Are you paying attention? Yeah, I'm holding this rag over this guy's face while Dad cuts him up. The boys were silent for a moment. They knew they hadn't been listening to their father. I see, said Will at last. They were too...

They're busy hallucinating a pair fucking talking scissors. There are two sides to sharing. One is giving. The other is receiving. It's like talking and listening, said Charlie. Hitching and catching. Just look at these two. They've definitely been dipping into the...

either. Oh, dear. As well as the scissors. This scissors are the eyes. Please tell an adult if the scissors tell you to hurt people. So far, he's just telling them to shut up and listen. Your father's trying to share his boundless knowledge with you, you little grateful shits.

Don't make me cut you. But before True Sides could say anything, Will and Charlie heard a very real voice. Boys, their father shouted. Please pay attention. So, yeah. They got yelled at for, you know, not doing what they're supposed to do. For talking to the scissors instead of listening to Dad? Yeah.

Sure. Boys, take the drag off. You're all going to die. Daddy, my scissors say I don't have to listen to you anymore. After that, the boys remembered what True Sites had said, and they listened to him very carefully during the rest of the operation. And then when they weren't watching their father, they had to also go to school. and so they did that

and they didn't always listen and they probably snuck in drugs because they're imaginary their scissors with their house is full of drugs but luckily they can take their scissors with them to school I love the multiracial oh yeah

classroom in the 1800s that's that's I absolutely I'm sure they had a black school mistress short in yeah late 1800s Minnesota yeah there's also a black child. Yeah.

You can see it. I mean, she's facing backwards. The silver wheel was over. We'd solve racism. Oh, okay.

So, they became friends with the scissors and they snuck into the circus. What? And then, yeah. I bet they didn't even

buy the scissors a ticket. Yeah, and they're talking about the animals. When Will and Charlie and Trusides reached the big circus tent, little Charlie

saw something that puzzled him. Can you guess what it was? See, now first of all, why are we going to go to the circus? What puzzled him? I see a number of things that puzzled me right now. Probably the naked guy with a turban on top of the elephant. A little weave on his head. Unfortunate clowns in the foreground. I mean, I wouldn't, I mean, the clown that's way bigger than the elephant. The stilt clown. Yeah. And then, man, he's tall. Tiger in a cave. So much. I like the dog in a stroller with a party hat.

Yeah. So I guess the scissors fit right into the circus. So what was he puzzled about? What are we puzzled about? Clown after clown was scrambling to get out of a tiny house. I don't understand, said Charlie, where are they all coming from? But before True Sides could answer, the boys heard their mother calling them from outside the circus tenant. Will, Charlie, come quick.

your father wants you. The boys forgot about the circus and they reached off to meet their father at the home of the town blacksmith. So you know what? I am glad. None of this made any fucking sense and didn't need to be...

I am really glad we went to the circus because that taught us important things. Something important. Do you guess what it was? No. No. We never figured it out. The book doesn't tell you.

How do those fucking towns get out of the house? I love the writing of this series. It just nothing has to. matter. So they went to the blacksmith and you can take a piece of metal and you can heat it and you can pound it into what you like. And I'm going to

need some special instrument for your wife's operation. So the blacksmith's wife needs an operation. And he has to make the tools. And the blacksmith is going to make some fucking specialized tools to help save his wife. That sucks. It's like, oh, the pressure's on you. You fuck this up. Your wife's dead.

My boys are here now and my wife will come help. and the other doctors will assist in the operation. Everything will be all right. You'll see. So all these other doctors came. The kids looked and fucking had the ether. Their sister friend was there.

So was mom. It was a whole cozy situation. Everybody's like one of the poor woman's naked and slayed out on the dining room table. Yep, yep. It's like, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. I do like this motherfucker over here, this Einstein looking dude. He's like, he's like, he's like. like he's like brown einstein i don't know

here's a little curlier i'm thinking more of a welcome back cotter kind of vibe from this guy i mean we can't see it maybe it's a hitler stuff you could only see aubon's face so much going on okay so did the chick live when the boys saw the blacksmith's happy smile they knew they too wanted to be doctors and help people like their father dead. So, yep, the blacksmith made the specialized tools, and dad performed the operation with the help of mom, his kids,

and then with some other fucking doctors watching on instead of doing things, which is kind of upsetting. Did the blacksmith, like, make a girlfriend for their scissors? So much going on. So the boys wanted to become doctors, and they started reading. I'm glad you're reading Charles Dickens' stories, said Dr. Mayo to Will. Dickens knows a lot about people and how they feel.

As he grew up, Will learned that it took more than reading to become a doctor. He had to work and make money so that he could go to medical school. Because dad kept, you know, mom kept fucking getting all kinds of shit for, for dad. So, like, you're going to have to work your way through college, boys. Sorry. When that was possible. Yeah, that was a thing. Will got a job working in a drug store after school. He swept and dusted. He also learned how to make all kinds of medicines, and he saved money. One evening, when he was almost ready to leave for medical school, he didn't go straight home after work. He headed to the general store. And there, he met his mother, father, and Charlie. Now what said True Sides. I'm going to buy Charlie a new suit, said Will, and he did. So his brother bought him a new suit so he could go to college.

I can't believe it said Charlie as he stared at himself in the mirror. A brand new suit. I've never had a new suit. I mean, they really should have stopped giving away their money so that they could afford clothes for the kids. But, you know, maybe I'm wrong. They're super generous. I love that now that they're college age, they still have their scissors friends. Their scissors friends stays with them.

Yeah. It feels good, doesn't it? When you share with someone whispered true sides. So his brother bought him a suit They all felt really good They all went off to school to become doctors After many years of hard work Will graduated for medical school

He was happy to help his father Care for sick people all over the country Everyone in town began to call him Dr. Will Because Dr. Mayo was already taken Yeah, we already had one Dr. Mayo So we had Dr. Will and Dr. Charlie And again, the germs are little demons

Yeah, and he's got his little scissors scissors and you're sort of floating behind his head. Mm-hmm. Yeah, those germs look really fucked up. Gee, Will, said Charlie. Now I can drive around with you just the way we used to go around with Dad. Charlie was very proud of his brother, Will. On a hot summer day, Charlie and Dr. Will had been out seeing patients in the country.

They stopped the carriage when they noticed the sky was growing dark. The wind had stopped and everything was strangely quiet. What is it whispered Charlie? He sounded scared. Look, Will pointed out, a tornado. Charlie saw a funnel-shaped cloud off in the distance. He-up, cried, Will. As he whispered the horse into action,

we'll be home. We'll be safer in town, he cried. He-up, I'm not making that. He-up. I don't know. I didn't know that's how you- The horse. looks absolutely terrified of this tornado situation.

He's like, Jesus Christ, we're all going to die. I mean, the boys are like, hey, look at that. They're like, this is cool. Meanwhile, the horse is like, what the fuck is wrong with you? We're so screwed. We're bogged. So, they race from cover over a bridge and into town, and the tornado, like, chase them down. Charlie Omo reached the far side of the bridge just an instant before the vicious

wind hurled the bridge up into the air, timber shuddered into chips and pieces as they smashed to the ground near the two brothers. Holy shit, this got dramatic. The brothers were blown out of their carriage when the wind screamed past them. Well, the horse was killed in sight. They were swept down Main Street of Rochester, like two leaves blown from a tree. The tornado raced across the town, it smashed buildings, a tossed wreckage into the air. then as suddenly as it came the torms sped away across the countryside

I didn't know they sped away I thought they dissipated but you know this one ran off I'm out of here see ya fuckers no it's not yeha it's he up yep that's what you say to the dead horse I mean look at this oh yeah

we gotta twist her like situation air these guys are on constant drugs they're fine but yeah that horse is dead. The horse is going into the twister with a shitlet of bricks. Yeah, he's got the carriage coming after him. He's like, oh, I'm so fucked. Poor horse. RIP. Charlie and Will had been blown up against a building. They looked around a maze. Somehow they had not been hurt. But there were lots of injured people all around them. Sounds like somebody needs a doctor. So Dr. Will and Charlie set to work to help the people that were hurt. Dr. Mayo came running.

The town hall was turned into an emergency hospital. Temporary beds were set up. A group of nuns acted as nurses, and everyone else in town pitched in and helped. But the town hall wasn't very clean. Some of the wounded people got infections. Some died. We need a hospital, said one of the sisters after the tragedy was over.

We need a place where we can take care of people who are sick and hurt. Indeed, we do, agreed Dr. Mayo. We will raise the money and build the hospital, said the sisters. If you and your sons will be the doctors. Yeah. It's one of those things that's like, the Catholic church is like,

we got a little money lying around. I mean, look at this nun, dude. She is extremely pleased by all the death and destruction. Look at her eyes. She'd bug-eyed underneath those glasses. And again,

it's like, I do like how they made the Mayo brothers like the whitest people in town, which is funny. Surrounded by all these kind of, they're kindly black folk. Black nuns. True sides grand.

That's another good thing about sharing. It makes the work easier. So the nuns raised money. And it took some time to build the hospital. But when they were done, Dr. Will and Dr. Mayo took care of the people. Oh. It's like sometimes people couldn't pay. They paid with apples.

and some couldn't pay at all. They paid with like a, this dude paid with a chicken. And he was like, don't worry, we only want to help you get better. And that's why he couldn't afford suits for his kid. I mean,

it almost seems more about like their dad's more of a share. It's like, don't worry. One day, a corrupt and horrible health care system will make sure that you make shitloads of money as a doctor.

So yeah. When Charlie came home from medical school, he found many patients were coming to his father and brother for help. He laughed for the first time when one of his patients called him Dr. Charlie. That sounds pretty good, he said to Truside. So now we got three doctors. Yep. Dr. Mayo, Dr. Will, and Dr. Charlie, and now a hospital that they can all work in. Yep, yep.

With chickens. They get paid and chickens. But look how happy that farmer is with his bill paid. It's a pay bill. Hell yeah. And that chicken's like, I'm so happy. I'm going to get to be soup. Yeah, the chicken's like, oh, God, finally a nice home.

They're going to love me and take care of me. We're going to give you a nice hot bath. After the hospital opened, the three Mayo doctors were able to help even more people. Dr. Will and Dr. Charlie had learned the newest and best methods of scientifically treating patients. their father however also knew how important it was for a good doctor to be aware of patient's feelings too so they were like hey we're gonna kill the germs he was like you know we also need to you know care about these fucking people's well-being watch the movie patch atoms which you know again the more i read about the mayo brothers the more i like mayo dad he seems pretty groovy he's so far done all the sharing

Never forget that we're taking care of people, he would say. There's more to pay attention to than just their sickness. Soon people were coming to the mayoes from all over Minnesota. And they use carbolic acid to kill all the germs in the surgery rooms. Almost no one ever dies because of infection in a hospital in Rochester. They're like, hey, it's pretty cool to not die. Oh, look, so we get a hole. He's spraying them down like they're, it's raised.

It's like, yeah. Ah, we have germs, the size of small dogs, you know, being hit by this magic Lysol. Look at this. That one, he's like, oh, God! It burns us. So, yeah, he's like, killing germs is great. No one dies at our hospital, but we also care about our patients. overall well-being, because we're not pieces of shit.

Hooray. Hurray. Doctors and nurses came from nearby towns. They wanted to see just how the mayos were able to help so many people. That's funny, said True Sides. You used to stand on boxes and watch your dad operate. Now the doctors are standing on boxes to watch you. Yee-ha.

Full circle. Yep. Whatever. Thanks, magic scissors. Yes. I can always count on you. Their hospital basically became a teaching hospital. Yeah, because everybody wanted to know.

How do you make your patients not get sick and die after a procedure? And again. Easier to get paid. Let's look at these doctor motherfuckers. Oh, yeah. So they're all crowded around. It's multiracial. Breathing all over the patient.

Oh, these guys not only have the mustachios, they've got the whole moustachio, beard. fucking like and and they've got the friar tuck look yeah so that's interesting but they make sure there's enough room for the magic scissors to watch as well yeah well you know the magic scissors have to see what's going on they're not sharing enough but the mayor brothers realized that there were things that they didn't know things they had to find out why don't you and i take turns traveling said will to Charlie one day, one of us can stay home and look after our patients and the other one visits the best hospitals and the best doctors in the world.

Then the one who's traveling can come home and share what he's learned. That way we can keep learning and be better doctors. So Charlie thought that was a great idea. And that is paired with a scene of him. I guess he's fishing off of a boat while traveling. Yeah, because he's. He's there's a other U.S. Ocean Queen.

I love the sun that's happily sinking into the ocean. Well, it's on the coast as he leaves it behind for his medical adventures. Yep. So they start traveling the world to learn medicine. Cool. Okay. So they traveled around the world, but more people went to go see them in Rochester. Yeah.

It turns out they had more to offer than the rest of the world had to offer them. Well, I mean, it was, they would travel the world, figure it out, come back, teach other doctors. Yep. And look at these important looking mothers. Now they're top-headed motherfuckers. Yeah, the fancy folk are now coming to hear their lectures. Mm-hmm. Not just country doctors.

So, yeah, they broaden their knowledge and then their hospital as a result has become the best one. Because it's the cumulative knowledge of all of these different places. Because, yes, one of the things, you know, that they're not. saying, speaking of the value of sharing, is that back then the practice was that doctors guarded their trade secrets and didn't typically like to share knowledge with each other. Yeah. And the Mayo brothers are one of the whole reasons that changed. Yep.

So they started talking to people and sharing their knowledge. Charlie always talked in a slow, friendly way. He sounded a lot like his famous friend, Will Rogers. Crossover from future episodes. future Will Rogers episode. And also, like Will Rogers, Charlie Mayo had a good sense of humor. One nice thing about sharing knowledge, he said to True Sides Delight, is after you give it to someone else, you still have it.

Now people from all around the world are coming to visit them. The doctors came from all around the world and accepted Charlie's invitation. They came to Rochester. to see how he and Will worked. There were no wooden boxes in the operating rooms now. Instead, there were mirrors over the operating tables, and there were seats so the visiting doctors could be comfortable. So they created the surgical viewing area,

just because so many people were wanting to come and watch them cut people up. And they looked up into the mirrors to see exactly what was going on. The seats could slide from one side to another, so the visitors could move when Will and Charlie during an operation. That way it could learn surgical techniques by watching directly. It's, you know. Well, also staying kind of the fuck away. And hopefully we're less horny for each other than an episode of Grey's Anatomy.

I'm sure. All these moustachio dudes getting all worked up and... I feel, then I feel bad for these multiracial nurses. The fame of the Mayo brothers spread. Surgeons were coming from Europe and South America to spend weeks watching Will and Charlie, learning what they knew. Well, they're the super Mayo brothers. After their father, Dr. Mayo was 70,

he left most of the work at the hospital to Dr. Will and Dr. Charlie. At last, his patients were well looked after, and he had time to do something else that he had always enjoyed doing. What do you suppose that was? I like the witch doctor. There's a fucking witch doctor in the gallery. Every kind of doctor you can imagine. you've got like a you've got like a giant the turbaned doctor a tall leprechaun

I don't know what that dude's supposed to be like he looks like he looks like a face on easter island and it's adolf hitler is the patient you look in the mirror of a witch doctor man he's so happy to be there it's so funny oh thank god the witch doctor will be able to return to his tribe with advanced surgical techniques. So what do we think that Dr. Mayo really wanted to do? At 70 years old. At 70 years old, he liked to travel. He wanted to go travel.

He'd been fucking stuck in a hospital for 70 years or whatever. I've had fun my entire life. I want to go to Monte Carlo. So most of the time, Dr. and Mrs. Mayo traveled just for fun. But when he was in far off lands, old doctors sometimes visited other doctors and saw their hospitals. Whenever he saw something new that might help people, he told Will and Charlie about it as soon as he got home.

Back in Rochester, things were getting pretty crowded at the little building the Mayo used for a clinic. So you see Dr. and Mrs. Mayo finally fucking off over the globe. Yeah, they're off on their adventures, but now there's a giant line of people here to talk to Will and Charlie and their scissors. Whoa, look at all these people, Dr. Will said one day when the waiting room was especially full. There seemed to be more people every day.

We really need a bigger clinic, said Dr. Charlie. I want to talk to you about that, said Dr. Will. Come to my office. You can come to true sides. Oh, good. Oh, good. So he's inviting. We have a lot of money these days, said Dr. Will, when they were in his office.

We've never turned anyone away because he had no money. None of our patients has ever borrowed money to pay bills, and we still have all this money. It's more than we need to live on, said Dr. Charlie. It surely is, agreed Dr. Will, and it doesn't seem to me that the purpose of our clinic is to make money. It's to take care of people. So why don't we find a way to share the money with the people who are sick? We can build a new building, said Dr. Charlie. Hell yeah, comrade.

I am all about their... socialized medicine plans. Yep. So Will and Charlie took their own fucking money and built a hospital. Mayo Brothers did build a larger clinic. Then for 20 more

years, they kept saving $1 out of every two they made was saved and invested to share later with people that were ill. When they felt they had had enough, the brothers went to see the head of the University of Minnesota.

So that's all pretty groovy. Yeah. So every dollar that the clinic made, another dollar was to help their patients, which is pretty fucking rad. My brother and I have two million dollars, Dr. Will told the university president, we would like to give it to the university to help students and young doctors who want to study medicine at our clinic. Or sharing. Yep. So they took their money and...

So first we have the same. socialized medicine now socialized education. They want to fund kids going to medical school. Yep, yep. What a wonderful gift, said the surprised man. You want to, yeah, I'd be

surprised to have two million dollars in the 1800s. It's just a buttload of money. Do you not know this is America and you're supposed to be a greedy fuck? Yeah, he was like, I'm so surprised. You're going to give us money? Yeah, these guys are like, yeah, socialized.

Like, for-profit medicine just seems evil. and we want to go to heaven. Yeah, but why are you doing this? said the surprised man. Sometimes people don't understand, said Dr. Charlie, but it is really very simple. It makes us feel good when we share what we have with others. Also, this pair of magic scissors said it would jam itself into our skulls

unless we gave away all of our money. Can you imagine how proud true sides felt? He was prouder still when the young doctors came from all over the world to study at the Mayo Clinic. Most of them stayed for three years, then went back to their hometowns. Others stayed to help out with the clinic. That's great, Dr. Charlie.

More and more doctors are helping more and more people. Although this is a busy, happy time, there was one person who was prouder of the Mayo brothers than anyone else. She had watched the two little Mayo boys grow up into two fine men. Can you guess who she was? It was their mother. Oh, well, then I would have been corrected, my guess, because she's the only actual woman in this story.

Yep. Mrs. Mayo was over 80, and she still read medical journals, just as she had read them for her husband. But now she looked for articles for Dr. Will Mayo and Dr. Charles, ma'am. And often she found such articles. Her son shared their knowledge by writing more than 1,000 papers for medical magazines. Turns out drinking mercury is bad for you.

Yeah, and don't give it as actual medicine. I wonder why this medicine keeps killing all these people. But Dr. Will and Dr. Charlie were quite humble men. I feel uncomfortable when people treat me as if I were special. Dr. Will always said, and Dr. Charlie declared that the biggest reason they succeeded was that they picked the right parents. Oh. It's those good old Minnesota of downhome values.

Here, look. The building's giving them a hug. Being hugged by like the White House? I think it's the White House? I'm not sure because that's to us. But a big white columned building is hugging them an appreciation. Yes, with crowds and crowds and crowds of people. So parents live to be old as shit for the, like, that's this point.

time period. At this point, early 1900s. Yeah, because they keep reading medical journals and staying away from the mercury. Yeah. They know how to kill germs. They wash their hands and shit. Yeah, they have to wash their hands and live an extra 20 years. But the boys remembered what true side said. Sharing is more than giving.

Sharing is receiving too. So the Mayo Brothers accepted the praise and honors, and they were grateful. No matter how many honors and they warmly received, the Mayo Brothers' greatest joy came from something else. It came from seeing. some of the very best doctors in the world come to the little town of Rochester.

Some of them stayed on in order to be a part of the Mayo Clinic. Today, people still come from all over the world to be helped by the doctors of the clinic. The Mayo shared their knowledge, their experience, and their money. They always felt happy when they saw the good that came from their sharing. And if they could look in the future of what health care would be in the United States, they would have been horrified and wept, tears, wailed, in misery, because everything about our country and the way we handle health care is the opposite of what these two righteous dudes believed.

Right. And look, it's like we've got planes and boats. The Empire State Building is happy to see them. There's a zeppelin. It's weird. Blimps are coming from all over to see the Mayo Brothers. Of course, not everyone has the same things to share. You may not have much money.

you probably don't have a microscope. Some of us only have an annoying podcast. You probably don't need a microscope if you really want to get down to it. I'm pushing 50 and I have never... I've never owned a microscope back to the day. I've never had need of a microscope, Jerry. Granted, I'm not a doctor. I had a young nerd science kid.

Yeah. I mean, I remember seeing shit in microscopes, but I've never personally owned one. You may not even want to share what you have with anyone. Yeah, fuck. That's pretty much, yeah, that's for you to decide, see, because it's about choice. But if you do choose to give something to someone else or accept what others are giving you, you may also discover something very important about yourself.

You may discover that sharing makes you feel happy just as it did for our friends, the Mayo Brothers. I guess that's a statue The statue of them and their scissors And their scissors The end We honor Dr. Will and Charlie Yep So that was the Mayo Brothers

Yeah I mean They're pretty righteous I'm into it They're so wholesomely Midwest There's not really a lot of controversial stuff about them There just seem to be really good people Who left a mark in the world Even people have never heard

Of the Mayo Brothers Now what the Mayo Clinic is To this very day Yeah people still So go to the Mayo Clinic. It is a very important teaching hospital. Yeah, it just does make me sad now that their view of medicine is that it belongs, that everyone should be able to get help and not have to worry about paying it.

It's like, maybe we could have learned something from these guys, not just the practice of medicine, but the business of it. And maybe it doesn't belong as a for-profit business. Yep. So now I'm going to the historical facts page. The pre-Wikipedia biography page. William James Mayo 1861 to 1939

And Charles Horace Mayo 1865 to 1939 Yeah, now they died like six months apart Yeah So the Mayo brothers were able to share A great many things with each other during their lifetimes There were only two brothers of five children born To Louisa Abigail Wright and William Whirl Mayo

Oh, they had three sisters And they didn't even Not even mention in this kid's book not a fucking one. Yeah, who cares about girls? Girls don't matter. Oh, yeah. Well, they also have wives and children that also... Also irrelevant. Irrelevant people. Only magic scissors.

Magic scissors and also going to the circus for no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. And learning nothing. Absolutely. I was like, I was so frustrated when I got to that page. An artist must have drawn most of that circus scene and then they're like, shit, we got to use this for something. While the boys enjoyed their sisters Gertrude, Phoebe, and Sarah, the boys were drawn to each other in a very special way. That seems weird. Wow, historical facts, where are we going? It's like, meanwhile, their sister sounds like a coven of witches.

The boy's father was born in England and came to America in 1845 at the age of 26. After graduating from the University of Missouri Medical School in 1850. Oh, so he must have a cool British accent. Marrying and having three daughters. He settled into the pioneer village of Lesseur, Minnesota. That's all you're getting. That's what I got from school. Sure, whatever.

You know, and if you guys are, if Minnesotans are mad, sorry about that. Come out. Sorry about that. There, he became the proud father of his first son, Will. As a doctor in the army, near the end of the Civil War, Dr. Mayo Sr. moved his family in 1863 to the site of the district recruiting station in Rochester, Minnesota. So he was a Civil War Doctor for the Union. You up, awesome.

Where his second son, Charlie, was born. So he was born at a recruitment. Army recruitment center. It was here. He was to share his medical knowledge with his sons and they with the world. So, God damn, they didn't just start working in a. medical hospital, they started working in a fucking, like, Civil War Army

Hospital. Army Field Hospital. Again, Jesus Christ. So, yeah, he was watching Mom, watching Dad saw people's legs and shit. Yeah, and that's without the ether. Yeah. Will and Charlie grew up at the same time that the surgery itself was growing up. When anesthesia was, here, bite down on

this. Well, this time they were just starting to learn about the ether. Oh. So. Let's say they became big fans out. Yeah, everybody became big fans. of the ether because no one wants to be awake for surgery and giving people alcohol as an anesthetic also makes you bleed profusely.

The problem with ether was it did have a lot of times some people would still be conscious but completely paralyzed and unable to do anything. And it wasn't until a doctor himself experienced that that they believed patients he said it and started looking for other types of anesthesia because ether ruled the day back in the day. Right. Charlie Mayo was born in 1865 the same year that Sir Joseph Lester first announced the success of his carbolic spray method for controlling surgical infections. Louis Pasteur was still trying to convince most of the medical world that germs were actually the cause of an infection. A year after Charlie was born, the clinical thermometer first came into use, and three years later, the first wooden cephasope was introduced.

So they were born just right at the time when being a doctor started to resemble what we think of as doctors. Stethoscope and a thermometer and cleaning your fucking tools. Yeah, they were like, hey, we can use this mercury for something else. Who knew? So Dr. Mayo, then near 52 years old, was determined that he and his boys would grow with the medical times. In 1871, he left his remote Minnesota village to up. his knowledge and skills at a New York Bellevue Hospital. He became one of the first doctors in the country to use a microscope in his practice.

So that's pretty cool. So he's in his 50s and he's like, I am not going to be stuck in my career and my knowledge. So he was doing, he was at like a young man trying to learn. Yep. Even in his 50s because he got it, I guess having these boys. Because he was traumatized by civil war, Jamie. He was like, wow, all these motherfuckers. I love operating and people trying to save them and then just watching them die horribly.

Right afterwards. Yeah, have horrible infections after you've cut off their limbs while they're screaming. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, there's got to be a better way.

And there was. And there was. So, cool. Thumbs up. It seemed natural that both boys would become doctors

because grooming. Will graduated from the University of Michigan Medical School in 1883. And Charlie from the Chicago Medical School in 1888. One year later.

Once you've held an ether sub-drague, it over somebody's mouth, while their dad cuts them open. Yeah, when you're like eight. Like nothing's going to scratch that particular itch again. Yeah, I mean, you have to understand. It's like you're like ether, but it's like, but at least it was very calming for the doctors.

I'm feeling super groovy. I'm cutting you're open. Well, you know, it's like I would feel less afraid cutting somebody open if they weren't screaming at me. So, one year later, St. Mary's Hospital was opened with 40 beds and three Mayo physicians. The future Mayo Clinic. A 70-year-old father and his two sons.

And as we know, their nearby medical office became the beginning of the cornerstone of medicine, the Mayo Clinic. The Mayo brothers were scientists and humanitarians. They published over a thousand scientific papers about their work in medical journals. What they didn't tell many people, however, was what they did behind the scenes for less fortunate people they cared for. as many as 30% of their patients were surprised in relief to find the handwritten words paid in fill in the Mayo's bills, bills which they could not have otherwise afford.

And regardless of how much money the patients had, Noam was ever cared for, the more 10% of his or her annual income, no matter how expensive the treatment. and to every dollar they collected on bills, over $1,000 went to help other sick people. Yeah, and even doing all that, they made millions of dollars, and we're like, we don't need this money. No, these guys are my kind of dudes. Yep. They were very close during more than 70 years of life,

and when they were almost inseparable in death, when Dr. Charlie unexpectedly died of pneumonia on May 26, 1939, Will, who was already ill, became lonely and lost. Without his brother and teammate, life didn't seem as important to him. What they don't say is he had stomach cancer. He was dying. He was dying no matter how his brother died. So it might have bummed him out, but it wasn't like, I cannot live.

He was already on the way out. Yeah, he was not going to survive. But I do have their clothes. I didn't remember, like, they used to, like, end their days on rocking chairs next to each other, hanging out and talking. So I was like, these brothers were, like, super. mega close. Yep. So yeah, Dr. Will died quietly on July 28, 1939, only two months after his, after Dr. Charlie. So they died two months apart. As successful as they had been as surgeons,

it is also said that the real success was probably his brothers. However, one of them was signaled out for an honor by a medical society, a university or government. They would each begin to accept any honor with the same four words, my brother and I. So that was the male brothers. Yeah. They're pretty groovy. Pretty cool. If only the whole medical industry had taken a note about the whole people shouldn't be

forced to pay more than is reasonable. Yeah. Well, you know, insurance used to be for nonprofit. Well, medicine shouldn't, you know, you should be for, you know. You know, so these guys have. the right idea on all of it and yeah they seem pretty cool yep i approve male brothers now this book with uh has a few unhinged bits a little freak christian there once again you have to have an imaginary friend because all of these books do and this time it's it's lame a pair of scissors

well louis pastor didn't have an imaginary friend oh yeah he just fought he just fought microscopic crazy looking germs yeah that's right louis pastor but that's a day we didn't start with him as a kid. We started with him. Yeah, his was, he was already a scruffy old van. It was a different style. So, yeah, if we wanted to do the trifecta

of connecting, we could do, we've done Louis Pasteur, we've done Mayo Brothers, and I'm sitting here looking at Will Rogers, so that could happen. And this was written by series creator, Spencer Johnson. M.D., himself a medical doctor, I assume who admired the Mayo Brothers quite a bit.

I mean, if you're going to be, be a doctor. I think you should admire the main presence quite a bit. If you don't, you're an asshole. Even if, you know, he did write in that nonsensical circus see in the middle of the book for no reason at all. No, I mean, it was unhinged, but, you know, I don't take any. I love that they tried to make it multicultural in this subject. I can appreciate a story about siblings who are close and friendly and working on a similar, and you're working on a project together, you know?

Yeah. Granted, our parents didn't groom us from womb to do it. But, you know, whatever. Well, that's the Super Mayo brothers. The Mushroom Kingdom is safe. This is chainsaw history, and we're signing off. Bye. Medicare for all.