Chambers of the Occult - Old News Nonsense Vol. 13 – Clowns, Crimes, and Canines

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

Send us a textKai and J are back with more Old News Nonsense—and this volume is serving everything from shaggy dogs to sneaky clowns. To kick things off: the World's Ugliest Dog Contest—a heartwarming (and slightly hairy) celebration of pet adoption that proves beauty is in the eye of the bone-holder.From there, we zoom into Zimbabwe to talk about rhino dehorning—not as shady as it sounds, we promise. It’s all about conservation, not crime. Then, just when things get too serious, someone steals a Santa suit and the holidays take a nosedive. Cue the sad jingle bells.But don't worry—ice cream-loving delinquents swoop in to lighten the mood, leading us to the most unexpected plot twist yet: a schoolteacher trading the chalkboard for clown shoes. This launches a deep dive into the misunderstood world of clowns, the greasepaint grind, and why society can't decide if they're funny or terrifying.Things get even stranger with tales of horned humans and witchy women, because what’s an episode without a little historical bizarrerie? And to wrap it all up, we salute the cunning ladies of wartime propaganda—using lipstick and lies for the greater good.It’s chaotic, it’s curious, and it’s classic Old News Nonsense. Tune in and get weird with us.

Chambers of the Occult may contain content that might not be suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. Hello! Hello! Uh, welcome back. Old news nonsense. Volume 14? I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14.

I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14.

I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. I'm sorry, volume 14. Volume 14? 13. 13? I need to get my facts straight. It's been a minute. We're like a little behind on this once. It's been like a month. Yeah, we'll get caught up folks. Sorry if you were waiting for the old-news nonsense

We'll give you we'll give you those palette cleansers, so yeah, don't worry So yeah, don't worry there's still plenty of old-news nonsense out there Yeah, there is a lot it's never-ending, there's new stuff that comes out every day. Yeah. And it's all pretty fun. So, you know. Oh, yeah, for sure. Well, speaking of fun, old news, and fun, I guess I'll take it.

Yeah. Right? Into it? Yeah. All right, um Now I know I know this is old news nonsense But this first article that I have comes from 2019 oh If you think about it It kind of is old at this point it's six years that's six years

ago so you know anyway this is from the Boston Globe Boston Massachusetts on Tuesday June 11th 2019 got it and this one is titled, World's Ugliest Dog Contest. Oh no. But it's for a good cause. They have to, cause otherwise it's just a rude competition. Exactly. So, Tostito. Is that a dog name?

Love it. Tostito has ears that look like they've been gnawed on. His bone-less jaw is slack, and the dog's tongue? It spills, long and dangling, from his toothless mouth like wax dripping from a pink candle. Sometimes he wears a diaper. Is this an old dog? Yeah. To some, the roughly 13 year old Chihuahuas looks might be a turn off. Oh, and it's a Chihuahua as well. Not to owner Molly Horgan. And soon,

his unique features could make him a champion among outcasts. Toastito, full name Tostito Kevin, is one of nine contestants heading this month to the World's Ugliest Dog Contest in California, an annual event that celebrates aesthetically distinctive canines while raising awareness about the importance of second chances and pet adoption. The World's Ugliest Dog Contest has been a testament that the pedigree does not define the pet, according to the event's website. Dogs of all breeds and sizes have warmed our hearts and filled our lives with unconditional love.

This world-renowned event celebrates the imperfections that make all dogs special and unique. In a telephone interview Monday, Horgan said she was excited that Tostito will be part of this year's contest. Quote, I usually follow the competition every year and I'm always interested to see what type of dogs there are, she said. I thought it would be fun to try and see if we could get him in. And he's in. And he's in. And he's in. Toastito, the Fullmouth Maine native, or Toastito who has his own

Facebook page was adopted by Oregon and her former roommate two years ago she said, initially the Fullmouth Maine native had been searching online for a bigger dog but when the pooch's face popped up while she was scrolling through the available pets, she knew she had to have one. To go out with Tostito? Yeah, Tostito Kevin. Tostito Kevin. Quote, I never wanted a chihuahua because I know they can be aggressive and pee a lot. But reading about his background, I just really thought he needed to be in my life, she said.

And I'm glad I made that decision because he's brought us a lot of joy. Tostito was a nervous dog when he first arrived. His ribs poked out from malnourishment. The shelter that rescued him from Tennessee didn't know much about his background. But Oregon wrote in a profile on the contest website that Tostito has flourished and his personality has shown through despite his challenges. Quote, it has been the best experience of my life watching him go from a terrified, shy dog to a spunky, sassy boy.

Yes. She wrote, he has an amazing way of comforting other dogs when they're anxious or upset. He doesn't trust many people, but when he does, he showers them with so much love. Nice. Horgan said this is her first year entering the contest. She's currently raising money through GoFundMe.com so she can purchase a plane ticket to get Tostito to the June 21st competition. It's just part of the Sonoma Maria fair.

If she brings in enough money for the trip, she's on pace to meet her goal and has received support from friends, dog walking clients, and even her landlord, who saw her on television. Morgan and Tostito will face some stiff, well, faces. The competition, it's pretty tough. There's some pretty ugly dogs on there and I'm a little worried, said Oregon, 26. There's Josie, a small dog from Arizona with frizzy hair and a long tongue that sticks

out. TT, a crestic mix making its second trip to the contest. And perhaps most notably Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka? A seven-month-old American Stafford Shire Terrier mix that has bow legs caused by quote carpal laxity syndrome according to the competition's website. The first place winner is awarded $1,500 and a trip to New York to appear on the Today Show according to organizers. The winner also gets to select an animal rescue of their choice to make a match to receive a matching prize donation.

That's sweet. Last year a bulldog named Zaza, but it's like Z-S-A- and was launched into celebrity. Despite what Tostito's up against, Horgan thinks he could be a winner and has a chance of standing out amongst the lineup when they strut the red carpet in front of the judges. I think he has a chance, she said. He has a big personality for such a little guy. While Horgan said she's received some backlash for entering the dog competition based on his unflattering looks, she sees it as a way to advocate for animals who may get overlooked during the adoption process. Quote, it's not about making fun of ugly dogs, it's showing all dogs

are beautiful, she said, and it's all about animal rescue and advocacy it is a good good cause i agree and it's pretty fun right i don't know if tostito kevin won um let's see what year was Kevin Dogg. Let's see. On the spot research right now. I wanna also know if this contest is still happening. ToastieDoughKevin won third, okay, he took third place. Good for him. Yeah. Oh, I saw a picture of him.

The picture of him? Yeah, so there's pictures of him too, so we'll definitely post those. With his tongue out? Yeah. Okay, see, that's pretty cute. He is kind of cute, actually. Okay, Toastito dog, maybe next year.

Toastito dog, Toastito Kevin, maybe next year. Tostito dog, Tostito Kevin. Tostito Kevin. Wow, it was a 28 year old contest. Like it had been going for 28 years. I think it still is going. Uh, listeners, would you go? Would you like us to go? Yeah. If it's in June 21st, we still have time. Yeah, we could cover the world's ugliest dog contest. Oh my god live

Alright, well, there's my first article. Thank you. Well in the topic of animals Let's stick with them. Okay because Why not? However, let me figure out Why not? However, let me figure out where this newspaper clipping is from. No worries, they disappear sometimes. The thing is, I am normally pretty good at like, renaming the clippings I save with the article that it's from.

For some reason, I just didn't do this one. I thought I did. That's fine. But, I will say... Yeah. Found it. Cool. Hell yeah. So this is from Port Chester, New York from January 10th, 1992. And it says, horns of a dilemma. Zimbabwe is de-horning rhinos in an effort to save dwindling herds. And it continues by saying, Zimbabwe, in a desperate attempt to save the rhino, one of Africa's most endangered species, rangers are cutting off animals' prized horns with chainsaws to make them undesirable to poachers.

Oh, okay, I see. At first I was also thrown off. I'm like, why are they doing this? But people poach them for their horns. So if you just remove their horns in the first place, then... They're undesirable. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

And it continues by saying, It's not as painful as it sounds, they say. Without the horn, they're of no value to poachers, said Dr. Mike Nock, a veterinarian surgeon with the National Parks and Wildlife Department. And since the horn is actually compressed of hair-like fibers, it's like cutting fingernails. Whoa. Yeah, I didn't know that either.

It continues by saying, the dehorning is a last ditch bid to protect Zimbabwe's dwindling herds of about 2,000 rhinos in wildlife sanctuaries. The Zimbabwe's dwindling herds of about 2,000 rhinos in wildlife sanctuaries. The Zimbabwe herds include two-thirds of the world's black rhinos, which are in great danger of extinction than the white rhinos. Only 20 years ago, 65,000 black rhinos roamed Africa. Poetress, often with the help of corrupt officials, have slaughtered tens of thousands of black and white rhinos

for horns that are worth about $12,000 each on the black market. Yep. The horns are considered an aphrodisiac and used in folk medicine in Far East as decorative dagger handles in Yemen. Zimbabwe Rangers have killed at least 145 poachers the past seven years. Holy shit, that's a lot. That is a lot. That's more than ten a year. That's a lot.

Like, almost one per month. And it continues by saying, They have killed at least 145 poachers the last seven years, and still have lost at least 960 rhinos to money hungry poachers. Yeah. That's really sad. It really is, especially when you like hear that it's just for their like horns and they're not even... anyway. It continues by saying, despite the risks, the poachers still come mostly across Zimbabwe River from neighboring Zambia in dugout canoes under the cover of darknicks. And then it has a little fun facts and some caricatures of dinosaurs that just says, hornless

rhino. It says the same things. And then here's like the little like numbers with the facts. It says, poachers kill for horns that are worth about $12,000 each on the black market. Their horns can be as long as three and a half feet. 107 centimeters long, that's long. 20 years ago, 65,000 black rhinos roamed Africa.

About 2,000 rhinos are left in wildlife sanctuaries. So drop from 65 to 2,000. Wow. That's a lot of loss. Yeah. And that is all. It was just an informative newspaper clipping for y'all. Yeah. And that is all. It was just an informative newspaper clipping for y'all.

Yeah. That really was. Like, I knew that elephants got poached, but I didn't realize that was a way to combat it, like fight back. Yeah. I also didn't realize how many poachers that, like, rangers would kill. Yeah. That's crazy. Oh definitely. When I saw those numbers I was like reading them again I was like nope there's no typo that's what it was. Yeah so rhinos we went from dogs to rhinos without horns what do you have for us Kai? Well now we're going from dogs to rhinos without horns to. Santa to Santa, it's March.

Early Christmas, early Christmas, you know, it's Christmas somewhere as the as the going set as the saying goes. Sure, we'll go with that. Yeah. This is from the Hamilton Spectator. Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, Wednesday, December 20th, 1989. Okay, 1989. Okay, 1989. Santa suit thief turns out to be a real party pooper. Somewhere out there is a Grinch with a stolen Santa Claus suit in his closet and the deep disappointment of 30 children on his conscience. Oh no! The stolen suit meant the children attending the Canadian Hearing Society's annual Christmas

party Sunday had to do without an appearance by the jolly old guy. Quote, we told them Santa was busy, said Joan Upson, a parent and society member who spent an hour desperately trying to find a replacement suit. The kids started yelling. They couldn't understand. Some were crying. Santa was supposed to be handing out a gift to each of the children, who range in age from 1 to 11. The youngsters at the party are either hearing impaired themselves or the children of hearing impaired parents. Miss Upson said the man who was to play Santa arrived at about 2pm at the society's King Street East location, went to get the suit and discovered it was not in the cupboard where it had been stored. The only explanation is that it was stolen, she said, but they have no idea when, since the last time it was used was last year.

Last year? No, that's 12 months. Literally. That discovery precipitated a frantic afternoon spent looking for a replacement suit. A Santa without prior commitments, or even a stray Santa. And that's it. No, there's no- they didn't find the suit that we meant. They didn't, I don't think they ever's it. No, there's no they didn't find the suit that we know. I don't think they ever found it Oh those poor children. I

Wonder what ended up happening. I Hope they found like a replacement suit. I hope the children like the kids still got their gift I'm sure they did but maybe Someone dressed as an elf or mrs. Claus or I hope so Collecting for charity and they're like, hey, do to give gifts out that's all oh that's that's a little sad also crazy why would someone still like a Santa Claus suit I have no clue like what do you why do you need a Santa suit yeah what's the point? You know what? I hope it wasn't their size Yeah, I hope it was like way too small and so they had to like really squeeze into it

There okay talking about children. Let's talk about children, okay? Cuz that made sense, right? Yeah Yeah a lot a lot of so I have a newspaper clipping from the Minneapolis journal, Minneapolis, from Minnesota on February 13th, 1920. Okay. Now this one says, uh, this ones are not nice children waiting for Santa. They're definitely in the Nodulist. Okay. And it says, seven boys charged with ice cream thefts.

Come on kids, why are you stealing ice cream? It continues by saying, seven boys, all under 18 years of age, will appear in juvenile court Tuesday following their arrest last night by patrolman Victor Pedersen at the ice cream plant of the Lanthrope Camps Company. In the last two weeks, $500 worth of ice cream

have disappeared from the wagons of the company. I know! And and wait when was this 1920 $500 in 1920 What $500 in 1920 equals eight8,349 in 2025. Worth of ice cream. These kids stole $8,000 worth of ice cream!

Yes! That's like $1,000 per kid. How do you steal that much ice cream? I don't think I've spent close to $100 in ice cream. No, no, no, no, no, no. The most I spent on ice cream like at once is like 20 bucks maybe? Yeah, yeah. Like what?

Okay, so go ahead. Tell me more. Yeah, it says, um, in the last two weeks, $500 worth of ice cream have disappeared from the wagons of the company. When two boys were caught by Pedersen last night trying to pry the lock from one of the wagons, they implicated several others. They had more than 60 bricks of fancy cream in their possession.

Fancy cream? I guess that's what they called it in the 1920s. And it continues by... It wraps up by saying, Police express the belief that they were selling it in the vicinity. Yo, they were running like an ice cream smuggling ring. They were. They're like dealing ice cream.

Yeah. Oh, oh. So... Definitely in the naughty list. They're not getting any presents this year. And also like, So, definitely in the naughty list. They're not getting any present this year. And also like, why are you trying to make money by selling ice cream?

That's like such a interesting way to do it. Yeah. And also, was nobody wondering where these kids got so much ice cream from? Like how did they get their stock of ice cream? Yeah. Like what? Like I get a lemonade stand, but if I see like an ice cream stand with blocks of ice

cream, I'm like, is this profitable? Like what? Like how old are you guys? Where'd you get this ice cream from? They could have been like, I don't know, 16, 17, 15? They- it said that they were under 18. Okay. But still, like, ice cream is not your typical corner-side hustle.

No, it's seriously not. Good for them, though. I'll give them props for creativeness. Yeah. But don't do it, folks. I wonder what kind of ice cream was in there. Was it like, just normal ice cream? Was it like, vanilla? or were there cool flavors? I'm sure that they probably sold different flavors. I mean 60 bricks of fancy cream. I would hope so. I would hope so. I don't I think if they stole the same flavor I think that would

Not be a smart business plan. They only have one flavor this time It's like, oh, what do you want? Uh, uh, what do you guys have? Vanilla. Anything else? Nope. I guess I'll have vanilla. Are you telling me those 60 blocks there are just vanilla? And they're like, yep. Like, all right. 60 blocks was what they were caught with. At that point there had already been ice cream missing. Oh, so they were sailing. They were selling stuff already. Yeah, they were already selling. So they suddenly had more. Yeah, yeah.

Huh. Okay. Yeah. Alright. Uh, 1920s. When kids couldn't afford things, they would still ice cream and sell it. You know what? I'm not gonna say props to them, but... I respect the hustle.

I'm... I respect that it's an original idea. Yeah. Cool. Was that... Yeah, that was it. ...the article? Alrighty. Relatively short, but relatively fun. No worries, yeah.

Um... It was fun. I did enjoy that one. Okay. For my third article, this hails from the Glockester County Times from Woodbury, New Jersey, Sunday, June 16th, 1985. Okay. And this one says, being a clown is serious business. Okay. Beneath the wild makeup, the orange hair and the red bulbous nose, what is the stuff that makes a circus clown? For Janet Goodman of Germantown, becoming a clown means, quote, such a drastic change in lifestyle, end quote. Though leaving a, though taking a leave of absence from a job may not be so

unusual, making a transition from eighth grade school teacher to traveling circus clown certainly is. That is a big transition. She's like, yeah kids, I don't know if I'll see you again. Come see me at the circus, yeah. That'd be a crazy thing for your teacher to say. Like, there's one thing of like running

into your teacher outside of school, but running into your teacher, because school, but running into your teacher because you're seeing her at a circus as the clown? That's so funny. I would never live that down. I'm like, yep, one time I saw my teacher as a clown. Yeah. So, she was one of about a dozen would-be clowns from all over New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and New York, showed up at an audition to find out if they had just the right stuff to join the greatest show on Earth.

Which was? That's the name, the greatest show on Earth. Oh! The Ringling Brothers and the Bartardaman Bailey Circus. The circus held tryouts Thursday in the Spectrum to select those who have enough clown potential to qualify for a 16-week clown college in Venice, Florida. In Florida? I think so, yeah. Even successful completion of the course doesn't guarantee a thing, except the

chance that its graduates may be offered a job as professional clowns. The clown is quote more than a polished performer. The clown is a personality, end quote, said Andrew J. Rose, an apprentice clown with one year of professional clowning experience. This lifestyle is so intense that a person can't just like it, but has to love it. He said of the life he and his 25 fellow clowns lead, traveling around the country about 11 months of the year. That's a long time. I wanna know what that conversation was

with their parents. Mom, dad, I wanna be a clown. What the fuck? Yeah, probably. There'd probably be that like little silent moment of silence where like the parents processing and then they have that exact response. Buddy.

Anyway, the backgrounds and motivations that brought the 12 clown college applicants to the auditions were as varied as the candidates themselves. Mike Hinman, 19, of Linwood, wants to turn what's now a hobby into a full-time career. Quote, I don't know when I decided to be a clown. He said, you just pick up a hobby and people tell you they like it. And then he added jokingly, it was bizarre, I just couldn't get this nose off. Though he has always considered himself a clown of sorts, quote, the class clown. Not everyone has that kind of background. Chris Shelton, the boss clown of the circus

who supervised the auditions, so that he had never considered himself the Joker type. Quote, I was never a class clown. I was really shy in public. Only my mother saw that side of me before. End quote, he explained. But for others, running off to join the circus, as many of us see it, is really chasing after a childhood dream.

When you were a kid, did you ever dream of becoming a nurse or a doctor or anything, Rupert Zeiser from Long Island asked? Well, this has been my dream. How many people do you know who are fulfilling their dreams from when they were five years old? When I was seven years old, I got a magic set for Christmas, Zeiser said of his beginnings in the field.

And then I started juggling and it turned into clowning. I actually really like that, Lo. Like, you actually are chasing your dream that you had since you were a kid. Although I don't Know Han, you know all love White like why would you dream about being a clown? Like why would that be he probably had a good experience with a clown like at a party? This is true. This is true This is true. Yeah Well, they clipping continues to say one of the biggest problems many clown candidates seem to encounter is disapproval from family members.

Oh my god. Yes. And what would your mother say is a question they often hear. But Zeiser has had many years to get his mother accustomed to the idea. After all, he's been planning on it since he was five. Fair. Okay. My mother's all for it, he said. It's taken her a while to get to that point. She used to say, oh, there's no future in being a clown. But now she knows it's what I really want to do.

Another explanation for wanting to be a clown came from a security clerk at the Philadelphia Navy base. Okay. Luis O'Rourke, 31, has been doing what she refers to as charity work on and off for 13 years. She performs as a clown at parties in the city. And her reason for auditioning to run off with the circus was simple. The excitement and wonder on kids faces and the happiness you bring by making people laugh. It kind of fulfills me. She explained. I actually really like that. Like any performer. I get that. Yeah, like any performer anyone who works with kids. It's like

You know, I love kids right like one of the best things is Seeing like making a kid laugh and like getting them interested in something, you know, you know this you've worked with kids Yeah, I have too So I really respect that. Yeah. Anyway, continuing. So what kinds of things do you do to try out for clown college? You practice belly-aching laughs, lay on the ground and flop around three stooges style, imitate a vacuum cleaner, a bee in a honey jar, and improvise a skit. But underneath all of the accoutrements, jokes, and painted smiles, there are really people living this rigorous lifestyle. There's very little room for career

or a private life in a traveling circus. Back behind the curtain, Rose said, we are people, and many people don't realize that. Clowning is made of some serious stuff. That's the article. Love that. Thank you. Yeah. Never wanted to be a clown. Still don't. But I was always fascinated. There's that clown class that you've taught, you've mentioned before, right? There's a clown college that I would be willing to take a clown class. Don't want to pursue it as a career, but I think it'd be fun. Yeah. Also what caught my eye way back when I was a child were mimes.

Mmm. Do I want to be a mime? No, but I still think it's cool. But it's kind of fun, like, scary a little sometimes, but it's kind of fun fun I think nowadays people find them both creepy but not everyone you know yeah yeah no hundred percent it's like clowns you know people are whore if some people are horrified clowns yeah other people become clowns I don't really mind them other people become clowns. Yeah. Yeah Call pretty interesting. I have horns More horns more horns. Well, I guess Or we didn't we had less horns last time cuz they were good. That's true. Oh, that's true We have no we have more horns now. We have yeah more horns. I like the way you put that

So this is from the Sacramento Union in Sacramento, California. Thursday, August 4th, 1898. Wow. So we're really going back in time. Long time. And this one is quite interesting to say the least. Let's hear it.

It starts with the headline that says, Men and Women with horns. Well-authenticated cases of human beings thus adorned. This phenomenon is more frequently met with that is generally believed. Such is that the force of prejudice that nearly all of us would rather have to know this were four feet than the emblem which in bygone ages was considered the supreme ornament of a man. It is in this view that horns are attributed to gods and heroes. Oh, shit.

Alexander the Great, when he proclaimed himself the son of Jupiter, gave the order that on the coins, which should be struck there after he should be represented, bearing horns. Michelangelo, when he made a statue of Moses, depicted the Hebrew legislator with horns as a sign of a manly strength. The kings of India were wont to have horns attached to their helmets as a mark of their supreme rank. The great gods like Jupiter, Pan, and Astart, the goddess of the Syrians, were represented with horns as an indication of their mighty power. Give me a minute. Oh, you're good.

In the course of the time, horns lost its significance, and it ceased to be regarded as a mark of splendor, force, and dignity. And then, I had to cut this clipping into multiple parts. That's fine. M. Vule Nueve has written a book in which he describes 71 cases of horned human beings. What? Yeah. Okay, I want to hear these cases. describes 71 cases of horned human beings. What? Yeah.

Okay, I want to hear these cases. 50% of this occurred in the cases of men who had horns like animals on the forehead. The statistics show that more women are horned than men, and that the horns of the women are usually longer than those of men. In the British Museum there is the largest specimen of a human horn. It is eight inches in length and ornamented to the head of a noble Englishman. In the 17th century a a Mrs. Allen of Lancaster, England, had a pair of horns. So far from being ashamed, she was proud of them

and wore them as an ornament all her life. I mean, that's kind of cool. Yeah. They attracted to her, it is told numerous admirers, they attracted to her, it was told numerous admirers. Another Englishwoman of the same town, known as a beautiful Mary Davis, had a pair of horns, which were regarded as an addition to her charms. She had them cut off four times, but they grew again. One growth was presented to King Henry IV of France. M. Lamprey and other travelers have told people who number among them numerous specimen horns

of men and women. Those people are found in certain regions of West Africa in 1887 and Lamprey relates he found in an African territory of Ghanim several imposing types of horned men and women. One of this was a majestic looking black man with two horns Which in his case sprang from each side of the nose Which in his case sprang from each side of the nose Horns from his nose don't know what they were looking at Described it. All right a Mexican name Rodriguez is described as having a horn on the side of his head about seven inches long

with three branches like the horns of a stag. And it wraps up with, our horns hereditary. It would appear from observations of physicians who have carefully studied this, that they are sometimes hereditary, though not as a general rule. M. Dublanc relates in the Journal of Pharmacide for 1830 that the Medical Society sent him for analysis three human horns, of which one was cut from the head of the grandfather of the person who bore the other two. Animals that are not usually horns, sometimes like the human race, put forth unexpectedly and decorations for this kind.

There are well-authenticated cases of horns being found on dogs, horses, and hares. And there is even one case related to a trustworthy physician of their being seen on a cat. What is the nature of this horn formation? According to Malpighi, whose opinion is entitled to great weight, horns are the nervous prolongation of the skin. Another judge not to be despised says that due to a morbid surrection, without entering into details of the subject, it may be said that it is agreed that in their essence human horns are analogous. I don't even know this word. Analogous. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Analogous. Yeah. Analogous. I don't know. One of those two. One of the...

In their substance to that of the horns of animals to human nails and to the claws of beasts Whatever it may be this extra This ex-crescences do not threaten either the health or the life of those who have Who have them and that is the end of the article You know is not expecting an article about humans having horns no especially because it started with thing all like like the creatures and like Cultures yeah, yeah the symbolism of them. Yeah, and then we got into like actual Actual cases of humans with horns

everything it's cool. Yeah. The horns from the noses from the nose. That's very interesting. I want to know what part of the nose they were coming from. Yeah is it like the like soft part or is it from like the bridge? Yeah. Was it just more a horn? Who knows? You know what like people in the 1800s would think of a person, especially a woman, if they saw her with horns? Oh, devil? Witch? Witch. And that's exactly what my next article is about Colorado Springs Gazette Colorado Springs, Colorado from on Tuesday August 26 1975 this one's called witch drawings to stave killers Okay, and this one I'm just going to read it.

Mutilation of his pet dogs is among the threats received in long-distance telephone calls by Dave Edwards, publisher of the Brush banner, after his August 6 publication of two protective drawings that were designed in ancient times to ward off the activities of Satanic followers. So who and why are they threatened this dog, this poor dog? I don't know, because I guess they didn't like him posting about the wards for satanic scholars. Anyway, the drawings were offered by a coven, 13, of Denver, which is, in response to Edward's contact with the Denver Public Library, in conjunction with his concerted investigation of the mysterious mutilation and killing of more than 90 livestock in Colorado.

90? When told of the possible cult connection to the mutilations, the witches produced the drawings along with an explanation. By duplicating these drawings, they maintained one of two things would happen to those subscribing to the vogue of boltism. To the vogue of voltism. To the vogue of what? Cultism. Okay. That's an interesting way to put it though.

The vogue of cultism. First, to display either symbol on an area needing protection, the cultists wouldn't perform their deeds there. Secondly, by displaying both designs, the cultists can be drawn away from their activities and cannot, according to their beliefs, commit further acts until the symbols have been removed. The banner printed the symbols in each of its 6,500 papers. "'The symbols are but a mirror of the sickness motivating these persons in their atrocities upon cattle,' Edwards wrote. It must be remembered that the cultists believe in such symbols and while offensive to accepted

Christian standards, it becomes a matter of fighting fire with fire. He continued, Obviously, cattle mutilations are an offense against each of us. It cannot be allowed to continue without an open opposition. The human vermin, committing such acts, should be confronted with those primitive measures that most effectively offend them. It is not a risk to challenge those who would so demean themselves as to mutilate what is supposed to be a lower creature, but even that is open to question in the light of these demonic acts. If the symbols or these words offend them, so be it. It is our belief that they are deserving of no less.

Whether the symbols and or words have offended the phantom killers of livestock or whether pranksters have been alerted by Edward's article is anybody's guess, including Edward. And that's the article. Wow. Did not expect any of that. Right? Yeah, folks, don't mutilate any animal, to be honest. Just don't.

And then the article does have a little drawing of what the the symbol like looks like what was like So you guys will all be able to see that too nice really simple actually I think most of the time they are and then nowadays people like to over complicate them. Yeah Wow, thank you Anyway, what are you closing us out with Jay? Um, I'm closing us up with women. Women? Just like you did. Not a witch though. Hell yeah.

However, how much do you know of American propaganda? Kind of. Probably more than I want to because it's propaganda, right? Yeah, yeah. More specifically, right? Yeah. Yeah more specifically World War propaganda You can do it We can do it. So this might be the left field Or maybe not, but this is from the Indianapolis Star February 10th, 1918

Okay, and it's from the Indianapolis Star Magazine section. Okay. And the title says... Uh... Let me make it a little bit larger. Okay. The love tricks of the woman spy. Oh!

Yeah. Ooh, we got spies. Okay. Oh, yeah. Ooh, we got spies, okay. How the sinister fascination of beautiful femininity is used to advance deadly games of war-stealing secrets. Guess it's what spies do best, right? Yeah. This was written by Barbara Creighton. This was written by Barbara Creighton. And it starts by saying, A woman young and fair, and dressed in the last word of the mod,

Walks slowly through the corridor of a great hotel. This silver fox fur about her graceful neck sets off all of its alluring curves. Her gown is of sort of that of a debutante that she might wear at an assembly ball. Her bare arm is placed with just that suggestion of pressure that inspired hope over that of a young man in khaki. The music is playing a dreamy waltz and they chat with their carelessness of the really young. There is a waltz, maybe a kiss, and the woman disappears into her own car. And the man sends memory backward to an hour as one might recall, the bouquet of the wonderful wine. Two weeks pass, and a torpedo hastening along from submarine to meet a great ship carrying its hundreds of men and its millions of treasures.

Does the mind make its connection between the two? Hardly. It is difficult to reconcile the weapons of love, of grace, and all of that goes to make life wonderful with the killing of human species. And yet from the art of convention, or of the art less made with the young man in a khaki, came the direction of the torpedo that went onto its life-taking mission. In war, truly the female of the species is more deadly than the male. In all the anal and alice of the great war that is shaking the world, there is nothing half as fascinating nor yet half as strange as the part that a woman spy is playing in the gigantic game that may

remake the map of the world. In every great hotel in America where the wealth, the fashion, and the soldier blood of the particularly local come to display and for recreation, the great secret force has its own woman on guard. She is never what one might think, for one must always recall the German idea as expressed by the old general whose subordinate brought in a man under the charge of being a spy. Why did you arrest him? Why did you arrest him?

Asked the old general. Because he looked like an Englishman. Said the young man. Fool! Said the general. That is the last thing in the world that the English spy will look like. Damn, they're just like profiling now. Yeah.

One may take the suggestion at its full face value for the last thing in the world that the general spy will look like in this country will be a German. And then it has a little section that says, the ever present charmer. That is why the German female spy dressed in the last echo of fashion and the most dangerous of all, the elements of warfare, that have been brought to bear in the great struggle. And she's by no means a creature of modern warfare. Woman dared and died for their loved ones in the old days, when feudal barons rode at large and left their homes.

Fire sides and blood came and betrayed a land for love. It is that fate of things, astute old Bismarck, looking to this contingency decreed, that no German officer might marry a woman of foreign blood. And he decreed by the book of experience in which he had delved deeply while minding oil burn without regard to the oil trust of revenue. All of which lead to consider the danger of the secret woman agent in her midst.

And she is present in every locality in America where there is work to be done and winning of the war. Her business is grim and sure. If the young man in khaki first mentioned in the story had followed the will-o- wisp that led him on to dance, he would have found her at night with a man whose head had been touched by the frost of time, whose mind had not been fogged with wine, who was merely waiting for the butterfly who was to bring on her golden wings and the pollen of Death. Ever in the background of a woman spy, it's the man with the thin gray hair whose knowledge of the world has been gained

by living many years among many people and by studying for many years with the people like the people did in ages before he was born. The importance of this picture cannot be too strongly painted. Gentlemen, perishing, and in his latest order to the American in France, he warned against the woman of the soldier's leisure. Where am I at?

There's a lot. I love this whole spy world and narrative. It's a lot of like, hey, this was America propaganda during World War II. Yeah. Like, don't trust anyone. Especially the pretty women. Yeah, or your neighbors or the teachers. You can't trust anyone. But then the other day there was arrested

in Chattatoga, Tennessee, a point near a mobilization camp and their names are Chikamaguwa. It's a name in Tennessee. If you're there, I'm sorry I'm butchering it. And a central place in the Great Iron and the coal district of the south. On the western front in France, her husband was fighting in the ranks of the German army. He was scanning the horizon day by day and night by night for a sign in which his men might strike the allied forces. She was the daughter of old Wilhelm Pickard, a New York millionaire, and by the travesty

of fate, a son by her first husband was a cadet in the United States Academy. With the woman was a young lieutenant of the American Army who admitted that he had been charmed by the grace of the woman whose heart was in his locket of the German officer on the Western front. The beautiful woman had her possession, a secret code book and letters that showed that she had more than a passing interest in what the American Army was engaged in.

She was indeed at once by the order of the federal authorities. And then there's the fascinating Madame H. there's the fascinating Madame H. Ooh, that's a little neat. She'll love it. By far the most fascinating of all women held in this country since the opening of war, perhaps because the great mystery that attaches to personality and to operations,

it's a woman who is only known to records as Madame H. She was taken at San Francisco by a presidential warrant which is the last word in processes for the apprehension of an accused person. Yet it is well known that she is a woman of high social position, of the most perfect educational education and grace. She is described as beautiful, brunette, and the most perfect educational education and grace She is described as beautiful brunette and the most dangerous age in her life the ripe full-blown full-blown era of 35 When women no longer wonder at the mysteries of life and only long to only long to defer the inability day when they will become memories.

Oh, inevitable. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. When they only long to defer the inability day when they will become memories. It is the age when women as lovers are irresistible and a spy's most dangerous. There is little that is hidden from them and much that they can with the camouflage of the toilet hide. I know. It is this woman, so runs the story, who sent Franz Schulzberg, said to be the master spy of the Germans in the West, on his mission to this country, and she is in charge with

being her guiding hand, under the direction of the inevitable inevitability? inevitable and edible inevitable? inevitable it's an old newspaper old man with a thin gray hair of many of the chiefs spies of the whole country madam H is said to have been part of, and parcel of Wolf von Igel's Spies Nest, which had its airy and wall street until the brand,

until the ban of secret service men broke, and one day, seized the safe, the secret codes, and more important, secrets of international state that anybody dreams of existing." And then it wraps up with the widespread spell of mischief. Among the plans of the band under the control of the mysterious scheme for getting wireless communication with the Great American plant at Noe in Germany, which used to work directly with another German name, Saysville, before the Navy took charge of the American station. As the narrative proceeds, the band had a big wireless station, one of the lofty peaks

of Mexico, and from it, using Goldschmidt's invention to send out the tuning pitch of the watching station at Arlington, Seysville, Pensacola, and the ships at the sea were relying to now end to report on the spice collection. And still further, they were working through Honolulu on the Orient with the results of getting connection through Russian to the German people, making a double round the world scheme of getting the reports back to the grim gentlemen who sit day by day in the gross general staff office and perused the comments of men and women in all parts of the world. Under this mysterious woman's spell, the revolting India was hatched. An insurrection was planned against the British rule. There had already

come many striking evidences that a woman spy was at work. Ms. Ida Mullerthal, young, beautiful and bewitching in love with Lieutenant Johnan Shorvder, ambitious but moneyless officer, had been caught in the act of taking the fortification plants of Posen through the lines. For the love of her sweetheart, she permitted him to tattoo with Indias ink upon her beautiful back the gun positions. That's actually kind of cool. Yeah. The emplacements and the munitions stations of the post. In Brooklyn, the authorities held up the mail of Ered Amudsen, a pretty girl of 20, who was found writing seemingly harmless letters to her Scandinavian sweetheart. And on every

side there has come a warning. Watch the woman spy. She is the most dangerous of the species." I applaud. I'm applauding right now. It was very long because it was a full page. No, that's awesome. I love it. I honestly love that it's like the women are like the most dangerous thing and they're the spies and mad a mate. Yeah, no Once again, American propaganda. You can't trust anyone. Not even America and themselves, especially America. Yeah, they're like, oh you see a pretty lady walking by She might be a spy. That's actually a spy. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that. Yeah, they're like, oh you see a pretty lady walking by she might be a spy. That's actually a spy. Yeah. Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah. Why did you bring me that Englishman? Because you look like a spy. You fool.

Not good enough. Anyway, that was good. It was a good way to end it. I know it was wordy folks. If you want to read it on your own, it will be on the website and on the Instagram. But yeah, so we wrapped up with women. Spies. That's the best way to wrap up. So once again folks, thank you for tuning in to Old News Nonsense. Thanks for being here. Glad to be recording it. Volume 13. As always, send us in any newspaper clippings of your own you found interesting or maybe some things you want us to look into a bit more. Yeah. We'll try to find some relevant newspaper clippings of that as well.

Otherwise, we hope you enjoy. Yeah, if you find what happened to that Santa Claus suit, let us know. Yeah. Also, would you watch an Ugly Dog contest? Would you submit your dog to an Ugly Dog contest? Let us know as well. Yeah. So thank you folks, and until next time. See ya! Bye! Bye! Thanks for listening to Chambers of the Occult. For photos, sources, and anything else mentioned during the episode, check out our website at chambersoftheoccult.com.

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