Chambers of the Occult - Old News Nonsense Vol. 14 – Bats, UFOs & Boiled Meatballs

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

Send us a textHold onto your spaghetti, folks. J and Kai are back with another chaotic crawl through the weirdest corners of old newspaper archives.We kick things off with a headline that makes Kai’s smile vanish in real time: A Bat in Her Stomach. Yes, you read that right. A woman allegedly carried a bat in her belly for seven years before emitting it... and that’s just the start of the body horror buffet.Then, it's a family food feud for the ages as a furious Italian shares her real meatball and spaghetti recipe after Rudolph Valentino’s version made her blood boil. J and Kai not only dish on the recipe, they consider cooking it up themselves. (Measure with your heart, they say but what if your heart is dramatic?)From there, things get... chewy. We head to a nursing home where participants built and raced fully edible cars made of cucumbers, meatballs, and bread loaves. Who needs Mario Kart when you've got macaroni mufflers?Redneck culture takes the spotlight with a colorful deep dive into the chaos of the Lone Cabbage Fish Camp. Gator bites, frog torsos, airboat rides, and a taxidermied Bigfoot head all await. Yes, there’s a fashion critique too. But that’s not all! We meet:A goat arrested for butting doors in search of sandwichesA lost racing turtle who sparked an adorable investigationA parrot held for profanity, who beat the charges by singing a hymnAnd a Canadian UFO club who found... a porcupine (close enough)Whether you're cleaning the house, chilling on the toilet, or deep in a frog leg-induced food coma, this episode is your perfect dose of weird history. It’s weird, it’s warm, and it’s 100% Old News Nonsense.

Chambers of the Occult may contain content that might not be suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. Hi! Hello. Hi, welcome back, folks. To Chambers of the Occult. Where Jay and I cover a lot of really interesting things, but you guys know that already. So welcome back. I'm Kai and I'm Jay Yeah, thanks for being here and this is your monthly palate cleanser the old-news nonsense Mm-hmm. So yeah As you guys probably noticed we have you know Dropped off a little bit recording these

We're only really doing them like once a month now. But we still find them as fun as ever and we hope you do too. So yeah, we've got some good newspaper articles for you guys here today. So we hope you enjoy them. I generally don't know which one to start with. So that's fun. Randomize. I don't know actually because Why not?

I'm gonna start us off with something from the st. Paul globe st. Paul, Minnesota from Thursday August 26 1886 So let's kind of just get into it. It's not like we're gonna time crunch or anything, but this is also a really short one. So it's not gonna go on for like ever. But the headline is very... As you all know, old news nonsense.

The title says it all. And this one lives up to its name Because it says a bat in her stomach What I Don't know if you saw If you're if you're watching the video this right now You will see how quickly the smile on my face dropped as soon as you said that Like what does that even mean? Okay? Well a baton? It's exactly what it sounds like a bat in her stomach And it says I don't know

What do you mean it's exactly what it sounds like. A bat in whose stomach. What? How did it get there? That is actually the question of the century. Because it says... We're not even five minutes in. We really are not. It says, Ms. Mary Powers of Cambridge exhibits a fruit jar, exhibits in a fruit jar a live bat measuring six inches from tip to tip of the wings, which she had in her stomach seven years and admitted yesterday. She she had a bat in her stomach for seven years. According to this newspaper clipping, she had a bat in her

stomach for seven years. Like a live bat or don't think it was live. I just also I'm also curious why she didn't digest it Or how to get there in the first place? Um Why are you eating bats? I don't I don't it continues. I say no. No, you're fine. You're fine I don't think this is going to be a very satisfactory newspaper clipping because it does not give you lots of answers. If anything, it gives you more questions than anything else.

It just says, Seven years ago, while drinking at a pump, she swallowed something, but did not know what it was. She suffered intensely at intervals ever since. Numberless physicians pronounced her incurable. Nobody could understand the case. Since getting rid of the bat, she's getting well. she's getting well she she was at a pub a where was she when she was drinking a pump a pump what does that even mean I don't know I don't know where Mary is drinking and why she's at pumps this is is 1886. Like a water pump? I'm thinking a water pump.

Okay, that makes sense. So she was at a water pump. She swallowed something kind of like a lump, like a big, and she didn't think twice about it. Nope. Anything could be in a fucking water pump in the 1800s. Yeah. She just went on her day.

She got unwell seven years later. There's a bat. You know, starting to be a little uncomfortable. Maybe I should go get this checked out. Would you look at that? There's a bat in my stomach. The physicians told her that she wasn't curable. Countless physicians.

I don't know if they had like x-rays in 1886. No, they well they didn't, but. Yeah. Also, I don't know. How are you supposed to help a woman in 1886 that has swallowed a bat? So. I If no clue, um, all right. Once again, that is all. Quite short. Leaves more questions than answers. So if you swallow a lump from a pump, go talk to your doctor. If you're drinking like anything and you feel anything other than liquid in what you're drinking, please put it down and check what you just drank like

Please unless it's like boba That's true, that's like the one thing yeah, yeah anyway um thanks Jay I don't think you should be thanking me It's just a cautionary tale. I think that's all it is Yeah, of course she has it on display. All right um I'm sure it's happened to you right have a not the bat thing I've never told you yeah, I actually have it right here

Um, yeah, I've never told you, yeah. I actually have it right here. What? Oh my god, it's beautiful. Um, have you ever, like, been cooking something, like, for your family or whatever, and they try to, like, they, like, pick apart what you're cooking, and they're like, no, that's wrong, or like, you need to do this do this or like you need to add more of that Yeah Yeah

I'm sure it might be the same way in your household But i've tried asking for recipes or like i've tried cooking And then i'm like, oh how much of this do you use and they don't give you like precise measurements They're just like oh no, they don't and i'm like how much is the pinch or like, oh, you know Just my taste or by sight and I'm just like measure with your So, yeah, I can't look at me. Have those little disagreements or whatever, have they ever turned into an argument? They usually don't. It usually just ruins my mood and then I don't want to cook.

Because then I'm like, yeah, then you do the cooking. Or let me do the cooking. Yeah, seriously, oh, it's like, oh, if you want to take care of this so bad, you can cook. Listen, I enjoy cooking. I find it relaxing. But I want to cook when my family's not around. I get that completely. Cooking is my, like, it's like one of my safe spaces in a way. I don't like to be bothered.

All right, well, all of this is just leading me into an article from the Albuquerque Tribune from Albuquerque, New Mexico on Friday, September 30th, 1938. This one's titled, Spaghetti Recipe Starts Argument. So this was written by Mrs. Gaynor Maddox. She writes, Rudolph Valentino's recipe annoyed Miss Lena Caniglione of Hartford.

Quote, my Italian blood boiled over his way of cooking spaghetti. So will you kindly print this real Italian recipe that real Italians and American born Italians will say is okay. Miss. It's okay. Is that what they said? It's okay.

It's funny. Yes. It's so funny the way it's spelled. It's spelled O-K-E-H. Like, okay. Like. Love that. I don't know. Love that. It's so funny the way it's spelled. It's spelled. Okay, eh, like okay like You know I you think for someone that's so passionate of like I'm so annoyed by the recipe publish this one

My recipe is like far superior. They're like this recipe is okay. Yeah Okay, like it's okay like it works. Uh-huh. You know. Alright. Well, she actually gives us a recipe. Yes. Which is really nice. So, here's a recipe. It's for Italian meatballs and spaghetti, of course.

It serves four to six. It is one quarter pound ground beef. Three to four pounds ground pork, no three quarter pounds, yeah. What? It's three dash four. I think that's three quarter pounds ground pork. Pounds ground pork. Three eggs unbeaten, one cup grated Parmesan cheese, one finely chopped clove of garlic, one half teaspoon salt, one half teaspoon black pepper. So pretty simple. You combine these ingredients, mix well,

and shape into meatballs. Straight forward. For straightforward, yeah. For the second stage, it's one can of Italian tomatoes, one can Italian tomato paste, one to eight cups olive oil, one eighth cup olive oil, I mean. One medium onion, one teaspoon salt, or more to taste, half a teaspoon pepper, a lot of freshly grated Parmesan cheese, one pound of spaghetti.

Here we go again. A lot. What's the measurement? A lot. As much as your heart desires. Okay. You know this actually sounds like a really good spaghetti recipe, like super simple. So if you guys, listeners, you know, if you want a simple spaghetti recipe, I actually would say try this out. It's pretty good. If you guys want to see us make it. Yeah.

Actually. Oh. Yeah. Actually. Yeah. And then what you do is you take a large pan. In a large pan, heat olive oil to boiling point. Add meatballs and sear quickly. Remove, chop onion and fry until brown in oil. Then return meatballs and Italian tomatoes, Italian paste, seasoning, and one quart of water. Simmer for about two hours.

Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay, now I can't get behind this. I don't know why, but now I can't get behind this. It's not just any recipe. It's a recipe that's going to take you two hours to do. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what makes it different. Exactly. Plunge spaghetti into rapidly boiling salted water. Cook for 12 to 15 minutes. Drain, place on a large hot platter and sprinkle with lots of grated Parmesan cheese. Serve meatballs and sauce in separate dish. Miss Caniglione adds that the above recipe is one that her mother used and that her mother came from a small town near Naples.

Nice. And that's Naples. Nice. And that's the article. So a simple recipe and a simple way to never piss off an Italian. An Italian. Now, I am curious of the recipe that pissed them off. Me too. I tried finding it. I tried finding it, but it was nothing, right? I mean, of course, they're never gonna give the recipe

that made you upset. They're just gonna be like, mine is far like, mine is okay in this case. But that's wild. They even give the name of the guy, Rudolph Valentino. So Rudolph Valentino's recipe annoyed Miss Lena Caniglione. So I was like, Rudolph Valentino's spaghetti recipe, but...

I don't know. That's wild. Thank you. If you listeners were looking for a recipe, here you go. You got one. Try it recipe, here you go. You got one Yeah, try it out. Let us know We'll put that recipe on Instagram and on the website Well, actually I did find Rudolph Valentino's secret spaghetti sauce, but it's really

but Is it doesn't seem bad like? I guess it's just not authentic. So, who knows. What do you mean not authentic? Like I don't know, because like, because it pissed off Miss Caniglione, right? So, you know, she's Italian and her blood boiled because of it, so I don't know. I'm curious. yeah. Interesting. Well, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.

I think I was hungry when I found this article. For some Italian, for some authentic Italian food. Yeah. Well, talking about food, I have an article from the... I just think it's so funny how like she got pissed off so much that she had to put her recipe in the newspaper so that everybody knew, like so that everybody knew how to make a good spaghetti and meatballs and she never would have to worry about it again.

Yeah. I wonder if that's something that... It's like a pride thing, like, oh, like, let me show off how much better my recipe is. Yeah. Probably something like that. Okay, well, I have... Sorry to jump back in.

No, no, you're completely fine. Okay, well I have to jump back in no no you're completely fine So this one is from the New York VA Medical Center From I don't even know the year I thought I saved I Don't know the year Sorry, at least old old. It's an old newspaper clipping. Old news. Um, but it, the title says, incredibly edible. And it says, cars of food run race at New York VA.

And it starts by saying, the 18 participants presented their cars for inspection before the race could begin. The judges checked to make sure each car was no longer than 12 inches and no taller and no wider than 6 inches. More importantly, the judges made sure that every part of the car except the axle was edible. What? It's a race car, but the cars are edible. Sick. Okay. The builders of this car were staff members of the New York VA Medical Center. Each car was also sponsored by a resident in the nursing home's care unit.

The second incredible, edible Alvin C. Yorke 100 car race is the final event in the center's celebration of Nation Nursing Home Care Week. Anything edible was fair game for building materials. However, the winner of the race was not the tastiest, but the one to travel the farthest. Entries were made of candy bars, cucumbers, rice krispies, bananas, bread loaves, and potatoes. Wheels range from cookies to oranges to giant frozen meatballs. They were even decorated with candy and cake icing. And then it continues by saying, Ray Runyon and Will Kennedy were the creators of the winning car after their entry traveled 38 feet and 8 inches.

The car consisted of a frozen loaf of bread with macaroni, mufflers, hard-boiled eggs, headlights, a giant sweet tart wheel, they added a block of cheese for weights, and used sturdy wooden rods for axles on each of the four sets of wheels. Tiny pieces of spaghetti were used, pushed through the axles to hold the wheels on. And then we have a quote from Runyon who said, it took us a couple of hours and six packs of beer. He and Kennedy have worked together during both years of the race and both years have been sponsored by residents Clay Braswell. I think a lot of them, I think a lot of them Braswell said of the winning team. With a distance of 37 feet 2 inches, John Borgen's car took second. Borgen's last year's champion used a cucumber for the body with Oreo cookies and gummy sweet tarts for wheels.

He made the car in 15 minutes that morning due to unforeseen accidents. And then let me switch to page 2 for this because there's a second page. Due to unforeseen accidents that occurred in his original car. No matter what the cost, you've got to come back and I'll be back next year. That I'll be back next year to get that title back, Borgen said. The third place award and the and most creative car went to the Sausage Mobile made by Patty Cosley who used a plastic wrap sausage with limes for wheels. The Sausage Mobile traveled 22 feet and 6 inches. Oh god, we got an interesting last name. Shirley.

Oh, God, we got an interesting last name. Shirley... I'm gonna butcher this name, but that's fine. You got it, you got it. Netshie Tilo... Tilo, yep. Okay. ...is the creator of the Incredible Car Race, which will continue to be an annual event at the center, she said.

Until next year's race, though, the residents will have to be content to dine on fruits of their staff's labors. And that is it. Sick. It reminds me, it's like, I don't know if you've seen Wreck-It Ralph, but in the movie they have like the whole, like they create the candy race cars. I don't know, that's just what it reminded me of, like real life candy race cars. Super cool, it seems super fun.

Everything has to be edible. I loved it. That's awesome. So, it kind of makes me want to do that now, just to test it out. It sounds a lot more difficult to be honest. Mm-hmm. But yeah. Um, oh yeah, I would love to have like a candy, I would be a part of that candy race car race or it doesn't have to be candy, just edible food, right? I feel like I could get so creative

with how I build this car Yeah, be super fun. I think it was fun. How like they were like yeah like they use this for the axle This for the wheels this were for like the headlights That was creative. I was like they didn't just do like the basic wheels and body they did like headlights Everything I was like that. No, it's awesome. Yeah mufflers Yeah, so sick the whole thing Mm-hmm Awesome, yeah. The mufflers. Yeah, so sick. The whole thing. All right, well, Jay, listeners as well, have any of you ever wanted to have an inside look into redneck culture?

Have you? I mean, any interest there? I mean, I've been curious about it. I don't know if I've wanted... I don't know. Well, I've got an article for us. This is from the Florida Today from Cocoa, Florida, Friday, February 21st, 1997. This one's called,

Campy Fun Found at Lone Cabbage. Is Lone Cabbage a camp? Like a- Yeah. Okay. Okay. The colors of the true Central Florida cracker culture can be seen in a single spot off SR520 in Coco,

the lone cabbage fish camp. Fish camp, okay. Parking in the grass next to SR520 on a Sunday afternoon near the southern swamp explosion of mayhem can be challenging. If you're not flattened by an 18-wheeler crossing the road, you may have your eardrums blown out by revving harleys or jetting airboats. Like most fish camps, the lone cabbage has that beaten look. Washed out, stained wood was the designer's choice with the ever popular picnic benches

inside. This may sound strange, but the washed out, beat and look works well for this ma and pa kettle like shack that welcomes rednecks. Now don't get me wrong, rednecks is good people. In fact, I refer to my brothers in law-law as red and neck lovingly, of course Because of my experiences with these gentlemen, I have become very aware of what a true redneck looks like for example Your chew container must wear a ring in the back pocket of your skin tight jeans You must have a belt buckle

tight jeans You must have a belt buckle Your chew container must wear a ring in wear a ring in the back pocket of your skin tight jeans like what you know chew tobacco Oh, okay Yeah, it's like the like the circular the circular container of like the chew the chew tobacco and like you put it in your pocket and the pants are so tight that it Good and like you put it in your pocket and the pants are so tight that it Good I mean it says you must have a belt buckle the size of your hand or bigger Okay, you must wear a tight t-shirt that advertises your favorite brand of cigarettes or beer and

To top off the look a ball cap any ball cap will do if it has grease, sweat, and perhaps even blood stains on it. Oh wow. I'm gonna start dressing like a redneck, honestly. I was gonna say, this is like the redneck starter pack. Yeah, it is the redneck starter pack. Sick. Let us know what you guys would add on to this. Yeah, what is missing from here?

Yeah, what really makes a true redneck in your opinion? Let us know. Yeah, also like these signs and more go ahead. I was like, what is the difference? Because I assume that there's difference between like a redneck across the countries, you know Like from East Coast to West Coast like, you know, like from East Coast to West Coast, or like, you know, like Midwestern and all that stuff. I was like, yeah. Anyway, go ahead. There's definitely a difference of like Florida rednecks versus like, yeah, like Midwest rednecks or whatever.

I don't know. Cool. So yeah, it says many of these signs and more can be seen at the Lone Cabbage fish camp. After doing several loops around the inside of this swamp entertainment extravaganza, we settled counterside, figuring we would get a good taste of local entertainment by rubbing elbows with the regulars. I looked for anyone who seemed to be out of their environment, but failed. Most everyone I saw was of the muddin', froggiggin', monster truck fan variety and were having a great time. Luckily

for us, it was the first Sunday of the month, which meant a fish fry and live country music all afternoon. I know this because the saddle band was jammin' away in the back room while we waited for our deep fry. The deep fry, by the way, is excellent. Ordering a platter that had deep fried catfish, gator, frog legs, stuffed crab, and hush puppies, we got a taste of the whole swamp. The frog legs were good, but freaked me out a bit.

Yeah, honestly, I'd be down for some like, no, yeah, I'd be down for some like, no, yeah, I'd be down for some deep fried catfish and hush puppies. Like, I'm cool with that. I'd try it. I don't know. They not only had legs, the torso was also included of the frogs.

Yum, frog torso. Nothing better than a cold can of bud to wash it down. Yes, bud in the can. Of course, we get this. The taxidermied Bigfoot head gazing at me while I ate made me a little uncomfortable. Now we're talking. OK. Like they had somebody model a Bigfoot head.

That's so funny. You had my attention, and now you have my attention a second time. Hell yeah. Something was telling me that some of the people at the lone cabbage fish camp may really believe this creature existed. The Bigfoot creature seems to be a cross

between a vampire and a deer butt. It is a great work, but it isn't conducive to good digestion. A deer butt? Yeah, I think he means like how it looks type of thing. Like it was just so badly created. That it looked like a deer butt mixed with a vampire.

So, taxidermy big foot head. Yeah, I want one of those in my house. I don't want one of those in my house. That can be, I don't know, like in the tool shed or something. The author continues, he says, our stomach started to settle from the deep-fried swamp critters, and we headed around to the oversized screen porch out the back.

You know, the one next to the deck, next to the river. Uh, to the river. I was impressed by the bold fashion statements of the group. One included a black velvet cowboy hat, black vest, jeans and boots. All of this black made a sudden contrast with this man's straight bleach blonde hair. He was a chick magnet, especially with no shirt on underneath his vest. Love that.

So... It kind of finishes up... I need to go get myself a vest. Love that. So... It kind of finishes up... I need to go get myself a vest. Yes you do. You need to get that velvet cowboy hat, black vest, jeans, boots. You got this. Easy. Yeah. Yeah. It finishes up, he says, I enjoyed and survived the lone cabbage fish camp. And you can as well. But just remember to dress in your best redneck apparel.

In addition to the food, music, and people, airboat rides are available. I've been on airboats before, however, this time, I thought I might end up as a deep-fried dish if I went. So overall, overall, he gives a rating. It says, Lone Cabbage Fish Camp. Redneck Factor. 10.5.

You don't find much better. Deep Fry. 10. Excellent. However, you might not know what you are eating. Service. 8. A little slow at first. Price. 8. A little slow at first.

Price 8. A little high. But I'm sure it's hard to collect all those critters. Drunken Redneck Dance Factor, 8. It would have been a 10, but they maintained balance well. Lone Cabbage Fish Camp is located at 8199 SR 520 in Cocoa. Call 632-4199. That number probably doesn't work anymore, but who knows?

And then there's also a little snippet about the author of this at the bottom. His name's Seamus White. He's a pub crawler, as it says. Seamus White loves mom, apple pie, Chevy, and the Florida Redneck. He would be right proud to defend them. God bless America and deep fried gator. He would be right proud to defend them. God bless America

and deep fried gator. Send comments or suggestions on this column to TJF deep fried gator." And then he says like his PO box and email. Love that. But yeah, awesome. There's a little look into redneck culture there at the lone cabbage fish camp over in Cocoa, Florida So thank you guys go that was a lot more insightful than I thought Yeah, same I

Would want to show up just for the experience Seriously, like I want to go I want to see what it's like. I Wonder if like it's still like a thing that's running or if someone else took over. I wouldn't be surprised if it is, honestly. Yeah. Listeners, would you be interested in attending? Say yes. Well, let's keep it in the topic of...

I don't even know. I don't even know, to be honest. I have a story of a goat. Okay. So this is from... Let me pull it up... from the Daily Independent. Oh, God. It's from Illinois. Murphy's Borough, Illinois.

And it's from 1941. And the headline says Police Arrests What? Kai, I'm gonna need your help with this. Okay. Canta... Carios. I'm gonna need your help with this. Okay. Cantacarios. I don't know, Cantacarios? Cantacarios Billy Goat, yeah.

Policero's Cantacarios Billy Goat, yep. Cool. But it says, Judge Kilby not impressed, fine and cost impossible, goat had disturbed peace. So basically you're not getting a call at two in the morning to come bail out your friend, to come bail out your partner,

to come bail out your mom, your child. You're getting a call at two in the morning to come bail out your goat. Yeah. Yep. Police Magistrate Kilby was only casually interested when police arrested a billy goat last night. Judge Kilby can't see where he can possibly collect a fine and court costs from a goat. Despite the fact that Judge Kilby has never lost a case according to police, the police seldom spring in a culprit.

Let me get, save a speed motion or a drunk. The Murphy's borough way is not to arrest a stranger or... It's an old newspaper clipping and some of this font is so great. They're hard to read sometimes. The Murphy's Borough way is not to arrest a stranger or... Blank. Or... Unless the individual insists. But when the police dragged in a goat, well, that was too much for the magistrate. The goat was accused of knocking at front doors in the neighborhood and disturbing the peace.

The goat was allegedly butted front doors. The neighborhood from time to time had given him tidbits of mourning... ...of morsels he liked. Not just tin cans that he liked, but really something to eat. So he formed the habit of butting the front doors for a sandwich, and the people's peace was then disturbed. Anyway, a Mrs. Riesling called for the goat and took him out of the jail, while the goat vernacular cussed the police for taking him to prison. The goat in goat vernacular cussed the police for taking him to prison. The goat in goat vernacular cussed the police? But yeah, so if you have animals and they're causing issues don't be surprised if you have

to bail them out. Cool. And that's the article? That's the article. It's just the goat that was disturbing peace. You know? Because humans aren't the only ones that can disturb peace. They're definitely not. I'm so tempted. I'm so tempted. I'm so tempted to say one of my articles. To say I was going to save an article for the end and I'm still going to save it for

the end, but it just ties in so well with the article that you just read right now. So yeah, but I'm going to save it for now. No, that's totally fine. Save it for the end. We can like... Yes. Yeah, you can be like, hey, remember that goat story? Yeah. save it for now. No, that's totally fine. Save it for the end. We can like, yeah, you can be like, hey, remember that goat story? Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. All right. Have you ever wanted to chase UFOs? Yes. Well, no, because I haven't seen them. But if I did. Or like try to find them, you know, like prove them or something like that.

God. Listen. Or like true like try to find them, you know, like prove them or something like that. God I Listen Yeah, you're any I don't hear any it's not like I can go chase after them It's really sad. Yeah, I would love to you know if like what's that show called like UFO hunters or chasers or if they're hiring. Like I'm down. Yeah. That'd be awesome if they're listening, you know, if you need someone else in your crew to like get on the back of your like pickup truck and like.

I don't know. Well, sorry, I'm thinking of her. You're thinking of Twister. Yeah, at this point. I was thinking of that. I was gonna say. Wrong show. Close enough. Whatever.

Tornado chasers. Go ahead. Well, maybe if you were alive in 1969 in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, maybe you could have been part of this UFO search. Because I've got an article from the Edmonton Journal from Edmonton, Canada, Monday, March 24th, 1969. This one is in search of the elusive UFO. Suddenly everybody was

alert. The voice was clear on the two-way radio. Colored lights, blinking and twinkling, moving, it crackled. Unit 12 of the Edmonton Unidentified Flying Object Society sped seven miles to investigate. It found people arriving at a local dance hall. We have to check every report out, said Bill Hayduck, 46th president of the society. One of them just might be the real thing. Bill, armed with two Geiger counters, maps, compasses, flashlights, cameras, and hot coffee and sandwiches, sat on a bush road 14 miles from Barhead. 66 Square Miles

Covering a 66 square mile area of pitch blackness around him Saturday night and Sunday morning were 40 members of the society. That's a big UFO society. There's like 40 plus members? That's a lot actually. That'd be fun to join. Anyway, they were in 10 radio-equipped cars. Quote, we aim to find out and tell the public just what UFOs are, said Bill. Some have to be told there are such things as UFOs.

Another team reported movement and sound from dense bush, and they swooped in. They reappeared with a porcupine. With a porcupine? Did you find the UFO? Nope, but we got a porcupine. With a porcupine? Did you find the UFO? Nope, but we got a porcupine. Careful. Humming sound.

A humming sound was heard, weird and definite. Two members recorded it. It sounded like the breeze humming in the overhead power cables, but I couldn't be sure. Recently, the club positively identified an object as an unidentified flying object. Thank you. If you positively identify it, it's no longer an unidentified flying object. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah.

It's unidentified, and you can't call it unidentified if you identify it. If you identified it. So, yeah, keep going. Love that though. Quote, it was a good sighting said Bill. A farmer saw the object during the day in good light. It landed in a field and took off straight up again. He was about half a mile away. There is no doubt in my mind it was the real thing.

There is no doubt in Bill's mind also that Barhead is involved with something strange. There may have been many, or there have been many reports from this area. He said, many sightings, two landings, and much animal unrest has been brought to our attention. There seems to be a pattern emerging as the objects have made their way east from field B.C. They have been reported

to have picked up soil samples at times and there have been reports of holes found in the ground. He added, It seems to be that whatever it is seems to be hunting for mineral or exploring the land here. They are certainly looking for something and we don't know what it is. The radio broke into life in a voice reported seeing two strange lights. What do you think they could have been doing? You know how the aliens, there's like the crop circles?

Yeah, okay, I was like, you're asking me if I know what they're doing. Well, what are your guesses? I don't know, what do your guesses? I don't know. What do you think? If I don't know is there Cattle nearby that's gone missing That's a good question actually Cuz like usually like I don't know I also don't know why

That's usually what's associated with like UFO, crop circles, and cattle gone missing. I don't know. I mean, at some point we actually have to cover that for the main episodes. We should. But I don't know. Maybe they're... I don't know. At this point, I don't think there's many resources left on Earth for them to take. Yeah, honestly Unless they're taking something Another unit on

Investigation it turned out to be the lights of another unit's car Bill has built himself an 8-inch reflecting telescope with a magnification of 250. Quote, been too cold to get it outside much this winter, he said. I don't know if it would be much good for spotting UFOs. They move too fast. By the time you get it in focus, the object could be anywhere. Bill has not been put off by a $500,000 study by American scientists that claimed in its 1,465-page report that there wasn't a scintilla of evidence to substantiate the existence of a single UFO ever.

Quote, I think they must have watered it down a bit, said Bill of 12923 109th Street. Of course, they just throw in his address there for no reason whatsoever. I'm still not over the fact that, I mean, we've seen it multiple times, but they keep addresses out so easily. Why was it such a, why was it a practice to like put people's, I don't know. Hey, this was a real person, this is your address, go check them out. Yeah, go check them out. If you don't agree with what

they're saying in this newspaper, here's their address. Yeah. Bill says, there has to be something in some of the reports. I mean, people used to identify, people used to identifying things all the time, like pilots have reported seeing mysterious objects and RCMP officers near Valleyville saw something.

When the snow melts, Bill's men are going to investigate the two landing sites in the Barhead area. We will check them for radiation and see if they really could be landing points, he said. The main problem with the society? Hoaxes. They're like the plague, said Bill. We get them all the time, but reports have to be checked out.

These people shouldn't be wasting our time and theirs. They should join forces with us and do something useful. One sighting that could not be a hoax happened Wednesday night. I saw something in the sky, larger and brighter than a star, said Bill. It was over the city. What caught my eye was its speed.

I don't know if anyone else saw it. Bill and his men started watching just before 6 p.m. Saturday night and left for home after 1am Sunday. It was a very successful fact finding tour, he said at the conclusion. We did exactly what we set out to do. Find a porcupine. That's probably the most interesting thing about this, honestly. They went into the bushes and they walked out with a porcupine I want to know what it looked like, you know, was it a baby? Was it scared? Was it cute?

That's what I was thinking. Yeah. I hope that they returned it Yeah, they should But what do you got for us? Thank you. Oh, that's right. I have something for you Um, I have a newspaper clipping from... Santa Cruz...the Santa Cruz Sentinel from May 21st, 1959. And it's not about porcupines, but it is... about turtles.

Okay. More specifically, about a lost turtle. About a lost turtle who is not running. What do you mean? What? Not running? Yeah, so it's it says lost turtle is not running. Other people might not have given it a second thought. But to police Sergeant John Churchill, there was something about a turtle ambling across his lawn. At 218, Miriam Drive with a number one embla- embla- zoned across its shell that needed solving.

Okay. Okay. The fact that there was no hair in sight made it difficult to surmise whether the turtle was ahead or behind at this stage or even racing at all. The number one had Churchill until his sleuthing revealed that the turtle Derby had been staged May 7 at the Aptos Beach Inn. Further tracking... Sick! That makes so much sense! Yup.

Further tracking. Narrowed the nearly 100 turtles down to three, which carried this number. Wow. Yeah. They belong to Clifford Kilfoy, 538 Lockhart Gulch Road, Felton, Carrolile, Blodgett, 148 And... Ah! John Stagnaro of 1402 Escalona Drive, only a few blocks from Churchill's home. One last check hit pay dirt. John the owner had given the turtle to his brother, Ernie. his brother Ernie Stagnaro 1320 Escalona Drive for his children. Case closed. So basically, this sergeant, yeah, so he looked out his window, he saw a turtle in his front lawn. He's like, why is there a turtle in his front lawn he's like why is there a turtle in my front lawn and why does it have a turtle derby why is there a number one on its

back what's happening and then he found out that there's a turtle derby happening and that turtle has completely gone off course yeah it makes so much sense there's a turtle derby in Aptos like that literally makes sense oh yeah it just does it's so cute though. Like I would love to just attend and see that happen. Yeah. Like I went to the Aptos, what was it, like the Fourth of July parade two years ago. Yeah.

And Sarah and her mom brought the big turtle. I forgot his name, but he's like the oldest turtle or something. It was so cute to see. Yeah, so that was awesome. Yeah. But yeah, that's it. Cool.

So if they still do the Derby, I kinda wanna go check it out. That would be really fun, yeah. I used to have three tortoises. I had three desert tortoises growing up, and they were in my backyard, and they would burrow, and we'd let them, right? And one day, we only had two tortoises.

And we were like, where'd the third one go? And we checked everywhere, we checked the burrows. That third turtle just disappeared. Like, it just... gone. Like, don't know where it happened. I think it like dug under the fence or something, and it just like... left. Like, I don't know. Those things are also like easy to spot though.

Yeah, they're pretty huge. I just, I don't know. It could have been burrowed somewhere. It could have ran off somewhere. Somebody could have taken it. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking as well. Yeah, one of my friends in high school, like she lives like down the block.

They also have one. So like on the evenings evenings we would see them walking their tortoise and it was just so nice. Walking the tortoise. Yes. And like they would just walk it like down the block like nothing crazy and I'm just like- That's so funny. It's such a like unusual thing but I never thought of it that much because it was such a common thing for them to do. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny.

But yeah. All right. Well, I've got one more for us. Yeah. Ravn up for us. Well, I mentioned that this one really ties in very well with your goat story that you had earlier. Your goat disturbing the peace.

It's a short one. I wanted to end off like short and sweet. It's a bit of a bang. I think it's fun. This is from the state article or newspaper from Columbia, South Carolina published on June 6th, 1937. And the title for this one is... Parrot, held for cussing, sings hymn and gets off. Wait! Oh! I already love this title. Chief, aged 210, he beat the rap.

After having lived a decent law abiding life for more for some 200 years Chief a Denver parrot landed in police court the other day the charge was Disturbing the peace by uttering profane language It was no more than chief's owner Mrs. May Harris had expected so she was prepared. Chief has lived in Denver 75 years. Mrs. Harris says she has papers that prove he is 210 years old. What? That's an old-ass parrot. I don't think they have that long. No, I know that She did not deny that the bird often chose words ill-suited to his broadcasting from the Harris front porch

Which is near the downtown business district quote. I don't know where he learned such language She said but we taught him some hymns hoping it would make him forget his naughty words. Sure enough, Chief could sing a hymn. Well, remarked police judge James N. Saban, if he sings hymns occasionally, that should compensate for what swearing he does. Case is dismissed. Wow. Now it's the article. I don't love it. I don't think the bird should have been held

because it's not the bird's fault. You know, it's no seriously like he just learned what he was taught. No, seriously, like he just learned what he was taught. Exactly. It's more of that, you know, like nature versus nurture. And that bird was just around people that taught him curses and cussing. Exactly, yeah. And also, you know, so... It's like balance itself out, I guess. There's this one video where like, there's a guy outside, he's like working on out, I guess. There's this one video where like, there's a guy outside, he's like working on his car or whatever,

and from inside his house, you just hear somebody like, screaming like, let me out, help me, help, I'm locked, I'm trapped, help me, let me out, like in clear distress. And so like, you see the police, they pull up to this guy in the driveway, because of course his neighbors are calling because somebody's yelling for help. And this guy stands up and he's like, sorry guys, like I knew this would happen. That's just my bird. Like and the officers are like, what? Like you better prove this like right now.

And he's like, yeah, give me a sec. And he like walks out with his bird like in his hand or whatever. And his bird just like screaming and they're like, what? And the guy's like, yeah, he came from a really traumatic home, he came from a home with a domestic abuse couple or something. It just picked up what it hurt. And so the bird picked up on that, yeah. Wow.

And I was like, that's so crazy. Yeah. My neighbors actually have a bird as well. So every once in a while, I will hear the bird say things here and there. Nothing crazy. It's just the typical bird things. Like, hi, or hello, or things like that.

That's kind of fun, actually. Yeah. Yeah. My mom always wanted one, so maybe one day she'll get one. But yeah, I think that's cool. All right. Well. Thank you. That was a fun, short, sweet one to end. All right. Well, thank you.

That was a fun, short, sweet one to end it with. Yeah. So thank you. Yeah, of course. Thanks for being here, listeners. For another one for the books. Yeah. Volley 14. Yeah. All right. Well, we hope you have a great rest of your day, evening, night, morning,

whenever you're listening to this. Maybe you're in bed, maybe you're in your car, maybe you're on the toilet. Maybe you're cleaning the house because we had someone leave a review saying that they listened to us while they cleaned their house. Nice. That's a great opportunity to do so. Yeah. But anyway, thanks for being here.

Thank you. And with that, we're off. Hope you have a good one. Thank you. See ya. Smurf! Thanks for listening to Chambers of the Occult. For photos, sources, and anything else mentioned during the episode, check out our website at chambersoftheoccult.com. You'll find everything you need there if you do find yourself wanting more. You can also follow us on all of our socials at chambersoftheoccult and on twitter at C O T O Podcast.

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