Chambers of the Occult - Old News Nonsense Vol. 7

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

Get ready for another wild ride of Old News Nonsense Vol. 7, where we explore some of the quirkiest, funniest, and downright bizarre news clippings from the past! First up, we meet the newly crowned Corn Queen, Kathy Studinski, who ruled over the Loyal Corn Festival with tractor pulls and parades. But things take a strange turn when we uncover the story of a 15-year-old girl who drove seven people insane with her Ouija board seances—seriously spooky stuff!As if that wasn’t enough, we dive into a handbook of excuses for being late to work (because who doesn't need some creative inspiration there?). Then, we shift to an unexpected beach showdown, where two dolphins take on a shark in a fight for the ages—spoiler alert: the dolphins win! Oh, and New York was saved by none other than Sally Rand, who put on some pants to spare the city’s moral fabric.But it doesn’t stop there. We also have a story about a cat named Prune destined to be the father of a new breed of hairless cats, a "witch woman" terrorizing children, and the epic frog-jumping contest where a frog named Godzilla hops to fame. It’s the kind of old news you won’t believe, but you’ll love hearing about!Join us for this volume of Old News Nonsense, where history is stranger, funnier, and more entertaining than you ever imagined! This isn't the history taught in school—but it’s the kind you won’t want to miss! Send us a text

Chambers of the Occult may contain content that might not be suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. Jemez the occult. Old days nonsense. Um, yoohoo! I'm Kai. I'm Jay. No guests for this episode, but we do have me I I'm Alexis Yeah, her sabbatical yeah, yeah studying sex

Yeah, anyway, thanks for thanks for returning so many bugs there Yeah, we got another fun little news on that episode So I hope you're ready for a good laugh cuz you know, if you're not then come back when you're ready Yeah You have some stories for us I do have some stories Alright. No. Yeah. What's a... Chucklehead. I heard you have some stories for us. I do have some stories. How could I come onto this episode and not have some stories ready?

That would be preposterous. Fair. Alright, so my first one, it's from the Daily News from New York, New York, Sunday, October 15th, 1933. This one is titled, New York Sunday October 15th 1933. This one is titled New York is saved. Sinner Sally is forced to repant. Oh okay. Sally Rand had to put on her pants to save the morals of New York City. By so doing the fan dancer also saved the Paramount Peter from a total shutdown. Obeying an edict of Sydney S. Levine, newly appointed License Commissioner, she chose

a pair of pants which were opaque and non-peakable. Okay. Gotta say covered. Levine who flayed Ms. Rand as indecent in her nudity was called upon to decide how many inches of pants should comprise her costume behind the billowing fans. Sally who faces a year in Chicago's newest jail for her fan dancing activities balked at first, then suggested red flannel bloomers, and finally produced a bolt of non-peakable material. What is non-peakable material?

I have no clue. To just know she warm, two inspectors took front row seats for her appearance. Yeah. They took the front row seats to watch her to make sure she was wearing pants. It's funny. Like in court, that's how there's like the courtroom police there, but they're just there to make sure she's wearing pants. In Chicago, where Sally was hailed in the court for displaying too much this-a and that-a, Judge Joseph David remarked that some people would like to put pants on yours. Yeah, I was gonna be like, yes. I don't know how that relates, but... Mm-hmm.

All I want, said New York's Mr. Levine. It's true. He's put pants on Sally Rand. He was frankly aghast at the sinuosities of Miss Rand and her virtuosity with a pair of feathery fans. Why? he sputtered. I have been in Paris five times and I have never seen anything so indecent as Miss Rand's dance. She's gotten to put on some proper pants. The commissioner attended a performance at the Paramount. As usual, the customers were hanging out of their seats. I personally attend, he wrote, the Hercules Theater Corporation, 1501 Broadway, operators

of the Paramount Theater, and witnessed the nude performance of Sally Rand. This exhibition by Miss Rand is indecent and immoral and cannot be tolerated by this department. I have been informed that the same actress was convicted and driven out of the city of Chicago." I mean, I'm glad she's finally wearing pants. That's it. But... Yeah, but that's what they could wear. Like she's just going to the show. That is...

You know, I'm okay with her not wearing pants as long as it's in the privacy of her home. True. But as soon as like you're out in public, maybe... Valid. ...wear something? Yeah, you know, maybe try not to get, you know, arrested for indecent exposure. It also sounds like it was just her bottom half that she was walking around with like pants. Probably, yeah.

Her legs were too revealing. Well, thank you. Welcome. Yes, I want to say something for it. Thank you. I mean, you could always say something. You don't have to wait for us. Yeah, I kind of forgot that it was me. I was waiting for one of you could always say something. You don't have to wait for us. Yeah, I kind of forgot that it was me. I was waiting for one of you guys to say something.

Alright, cool. So... No, no, no. I just wasn't sure if it was me. But my first... Okay, so my first one is super, super short. But I make up for it for the next two ones. But I wanted to share this because I thought this was just too amazing to put into a newspaper article and it boggled my mind a little bit. So I'm gonna send it to you guys in the link in the Insta message through here, whatever it's called It basically just shows

Like like a white background with chat chat and Then a little cat logo right next to it with like a drawn cat underneath it as well and then it says, handwritten is what it looks like. Yeah, right. Hairless cats. A Canadian owns a tomcat named Prune who could make history by becoming Big Daddy to a new breed of hairless cats in the next five or six years. Bred for persons allergic to cat dander.

And it was posted by San Jacinto News Times in Shepherd, Texas, Thursday, September 5th, 1968. And the fact that it was 1968 too, and this was in the newspaper, I don't know. I just thought it was so fun. They're putting a lot of pressure on this cat. That's all I'm saying. Oh yeah, it's a cute little clipping. I know, for real.

This will be the father. Yeah. They really are. Big Daddy and Freddy're a new breed of hairless cats. That's crazy, dude. Yeah, he holds the future of hairless cats in it in the palm of his paws.

In the paw. In the paws. Alright, that's it for me. Next! No, thank you. I like thank you cool, so I have thank you a simple I Was gonna call it like a good gag like a good laugh. I'm a chuckle. Okay

And basically it just says another child terrorized by witch woman And this one is from Los Angeles Times Los Angeles, California And it says another child is terrorized by quote-unquote witch woman Last night was reported when Betty Jane coquilis coquilis Six years of age returned weeping to her alarmed mother, Ms. Betty, of 827 East 27th Street. Once again, why they gave people's address, I don't know.

But it continues by saying, the eccentric woman who has abused several children lured Betty into a rusty Ford touring car near the girl's home. Promises of candy and her ride were a decoy. While driving off, the mystery woman asked Betty if her parents had a bank account. The car was stopped in an alley at the rear of What'sworth Street School, a considerable distance from her home. There, the quote-unquote witch woman spanked, slapped, and scratched Betty and left her

and left her. And that is all. That is all. That is it. Oh my god. That is all. That is all. That is it. Oh my god. That is it. And this happened in 1923-1929. What?

It was like when he lured her into the rusty van or whatever. She did. But I guess she fought back. So, alright, wait, when was this from again? From Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles, California. And this happened in 1923- 1929. Oh, okay. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

Alright. So, for my next, um, my next article. this is from the Columbus Herald, Columbus, Indiana, Friday, July 29th, 1988. Bigger and better, frog is a monster in jumping contest. Last year's Bartholomew County 4-H Fair Frog Jumping Contest was for Chad Hancher, well, a flop. Not so this year. The six-year-old son of Ed and Marcia Rooten of Columbus went to last year's contest poised,

confident, and ready. He left disappointed. He and his frog never got off the ground. Chad shouted he pounded the ground. He even blew on his frog all to no avail. He blew on the frog. Never even left the pad said Marsha Rutan. So this summer the search was on for a bigger better more energetic frog. Chad found him in the wilds of Brown County a frog frog so big, Chad knew he had a monster on his hands.

I had to call him Godzilla, Chad said. He was the biggest frog around. And after Monday evening's contest, the longest jumper to Godzilla jumped five eight inches to capture the 1988 title as Bartholomew County's Carl Lewis of the amphibious world. He sure jumped high, Chad said proudly of his championship partner. I thought he was gonna jump into somebody's lap. Godzilla beat Jumping Jack, the frog of seven-year-old Brian Kessler of Old Nashville Road, and Big Mac, Nathan Gray's frog, in a championship jump off.

The three had each won their age divisions, beating 44 other competitors to reach the finals. Contestants raged in age from 1-and-a-half-year-old Clint Fleming to Kelly Jarvis, whose entry blank revealed no age but adult. Luckily, no one suffered the disappointment of a frog who refused to budge. Often the problem wasn't getting a frog to jump, but getting him to stop. And the contestants put as much imagination into naming their frogs as they did into coaxing them to jump. There was the traditional Kermit, the inspirational Rocky, even the romantic lily pad lover.

Still, it was the monstrous Godzilla that triumphed. Chad Hancher said it all. I sure am glad he went farther than last year. And that's it. This frog is just doing like a natural thing. Just going around hopping and everyone's like amazed by it. Love it. Yeah, what do we?

Yeah. It's crazy. Godzilla the frog. Shout out to Godzilla the frog. Cool. Well, that's weird. I want a frog. Yeah.

Okay. So I accidentally found another one that I really want to share because... That's fine. No, it's fine. But it's also somewhat short, so sorry. So sorry But this was published by the leader telegram in I don't know how to pronounce this. I've never been here. You are Claire, Wisconsin Doesn't matter it was published in Wisconsin, okay, we'll take it um Wednesday Wednesday September 15th, 1976. And it's about the corn queen.

Okay, go ahead, corn queen. Corn Queen. Corn Queen. Corn Queen Kathy Studenski was crowned Miss Loyal Corn Festival Queen recently. She presided over, I don't know how that's supposed to be said, one same thing presided over various festivities including horse and tractor pulling dances and parades she is the daughter of mrs. Florence students key loyal that's it and that it. But do you guys want to see the corn queen? More corn. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a very good picture, but I like her smile.

Here I sent it. For the listeners, she is wearing this cute little tiara. She has She has like Medium long hair. I don't know bangs She's wearing a little sash check out the Instagram or the Yeah, it's very cute very cute corn Queen we love her We love corn Queen we love her we love Cohen Corn Queen

Yes Yeah, same thing. Most recent. Oh, I was thinking like Google like. Cassidy Parham, 2023, corn queen. So. Tis still going on. I wonder like what goes into like those like corn queen pageants. Corn. Yes. like those like corn queen pageants. Corn?

I mean, yes. I'm going to run for corn. Yes. Yeah. I think I could win. Yeah. 2024 corn queen. Corn queen.

Now I have... Jay? There might be like a theme going around with my stories or maybe not. That's not for me to decide. That's for you and the listeners to decide. Yes, we shall judge. So this one is from... Yeah, mama. We shall judge. So this one is from From the Long Beach Telegram and the Long Beach Daily News from Long Beach, California March 4th of 2000, whoa, 1920. 2000? No, 1920. And the headline says, constant use of Ouija board drives seven people insane.

What? Okay. See, this is what I'm ready. Okay, and then underneath that says, girl aged 15 introduces the device and convinces other six of its spiritual power. Who really? And yep, it says, March 4th, under observation in the Insane Ward here today, The Insane Ward here today are seven persons who the police say were driven insane by constant use of Ouija boards. Among the unusual charges against them are, this is what they were charged with, that they held seances 24 hours long, that they burned $700 in currency to drive away evil spirits conjured by the

Ouija boards that they lured little Ouija board spirits, um, that they did not feed the children, thus stolen, and that the children were found in the house in starving condition. Um, and then it continues to say, the Ou board developments center about Adeline Botini, 15 years old, who is said to have introduced the boards and to have convinced other six, the other six, that spirits hovered over them day and night. When the police broke down the door, they had to break down the door. broke down the door, they had to break down the door. Mrs. Edward Moore screamed that her dead husband was there in spirit.

And he will kill you. Adeline had divested herself of much of her clothing. Yeah. Maybe she knew you were Lady Kai. I mean, maybe she was, yeah. And the reason she divested her clothing was the better to communicate with the spirits. Makes reception better. Makes sense. Yeah. And when the police arrived, she tried to throw off the remainder of her clothing

Their raid was made when neighbors complained their children had been stolen And imagine like your kid gets returned shaved Found in the house where Mrs. Ho said Mrs. Jose Salvading and three men of her family and Mrs. Jose Salvadin and three men of her family and Mrs. Sagin Butini, mother of Annaline, so her grandmother. There were four Ouija boards in place. That's a lot. And that is all.

See, this is why you want to play with wheezy boards no Not for 24 hours You Yeah There is rules behind the box dude. That's like that's true. That's like that's like saying that's Never mind. I'm not gonna say it. You're out. I so agree with you. Sure, sure. Okay. Right.

Yeah, you do agree with me. As you should. I do. I so do. Okay, what's your story, Alexis? Oh, it's me? No, it's me. And I was like, yeah, I was like, what?

Um, alrighty. So mine is from, it's gonna be a very useful I would say article It's from the Bellingham Herald in Bellingham Washington Wednesday December 10th 1986 and um Take some notes for this one anyone listening if you need Some help because this one is called late to work again Here's a handbook of great excuses You damn it I'm never late to work sure buddy

You are late for work again Problem the car is running fine You are late for work again. Problem, the car is running fine. The alarm clock isn't broken. The kids aren't sick and the only jam you've messed with all morning had nothing to do with traffic. Besides, those excuses didn't work the first time you used them. Solution, stop screaming and start dreaming. A creative explanation for your tardiness might just wash with the boss.

Some choice examples were unearthed from Left Field recently in a survey conducted for a Chicago-based firm. They include, quote, suddenly the doors on the armored car in front of me opened up and $10 bills started flying out. It caused such a traffic jam that I was an hour late. Or the dog got a hold of my toupee and hit it somewhere in the basement. Yeah, wait a way. I hate when that happens.

For real, I'll tell you. I spotted what looked like a flying saucer and followed it on the highway for about 50 miles. I still don't know what it was. Because, you know, I see flying saucers all the time. Or you could go with, uh, my parakeet spoke for the first time. So I waited for him to do it again so I could tape record it. Like that's pretty good. She, she, it's a special moment to special moment.

It is, or, uh, my astrologer warned me not to come to work before noon on Wednesday. So I'm bad. It's going to happen that day. Who has an astrologer like Like on like standby. I don't know Mine's right next to me Whatcom County residents are just as creative in their excuses for being late Officials at one large local company recalled an employee who claims she was tardy quote because the toilet door fell on me

end quote Yeah, maybe twice maybe twice yeah, yeah I think that applies to other things Apparently the woman was in the restroom of a local tavern When a toilet stall door fell off striking her head and causing a cut that required stitches. Oh shit Other excuses reported at the same company include quote. I have no pants My girlfriend's cat died and I had to stay to console her my son burned the bottoms of my feet and Okay! My girlfriend's cat died and I had to stay to console her.

My son burned the bottoms of my feet and it's the breakup of a love affair and I couldn't stand to go to work. A Whatcom County Sheriff Sergeant said he was late to work because raccoons had chewed through his alarm clock cord while he slept in a sleeping bag outside his home. Right. Yeah, totally believable. That makes sense. Several gentlemen farmers who work at Georgia Pacific Corporation have legitimately called in late because they were assisting in the birth of a calf. Oh my god. I could believe that actually.

I would be okay with that excuse. Me too. I'd be like, oh yeah, no problem. A local attorney reported... Wait, what? That would be like, oh yeah, no problem. A local attorney reported... wait what? I'd be like, send pics. Yeah, like let me see the baby cab, it's so cute. A local attorney reported getting off the rack at ball court early one morning, only to discover that he had forgotten his slacks at home. Bravely donning his sweaty shorts along with his sport coat and dress shoes, he rushed home to retrieve the missing link at the cost of arriving late for work.

Sometimes excuses just don't hold water. Whatcom County Undersheriff Doug Gill recalled the serviceman who left a San Diego, California Naval Air Station on a Tuesday and didn't return until Friday. When asked why he had taken two unauthorized days off The man explained that the mess hall always served fish on Fridays Since fish had been served on Tuesday that week he had naturally assumed it was Friday and the start of the weekend They didn't buy it Gill said no that sucks. I would have honestly understood Whatcom County Sheriff Larry Mount recalled one unlikely excuse that worked when he was serving in the Air Force.

A serviceman explained to his superiors that he was late for duty because he ran over some railroad tracks and his gas tank fell off. It was unique, said Mount. We gave him the late to work excuse award for the year. Yes, you should have. Ran over railroad tracks and and gas tank fell off. Yeah, honestly, pretty unique and unbelievable. Whatever, yeah. The woman in the front office of the Whatcom County Sheriff's Department

recalled a number of excuses they have used for being tardy. They include, quote, I got stopped by law enforcement on my way to work, quote. I had a lot of delegates in the washer and I had to wait until they were done so I could hang them up. And I got a peanut butter craving as I was walking out the door.

Okay, that last one is something I would say. I really need some peanut butter right now. Yeah, it's like, I don't know. Yeah, cause I had none at home. So then I had to go buy some and I couldn't carry that in the car. Yeah, it's like if you do that long, it's like yeah, because I had none at home. So then I had to go buy some and I couldn't carry that in the car, so I had to bring it back home. Exactly. I had to eat it and then I had to wash the spoon and I had to drink some water afterwards. And exactly.

It's not like a one and done, like there are steps to it before and after. Exactly, exactly. Takes precision. Another excuse used after a weekend that one front office staffer described as long and fattening was, quote, I couldn't get my skirt zipper and button closed, so I had to iron something else to wear. Okay. That's what I should use. Oh my god, bro. You are slim as hell, bro.

It's never gonna pass and that's why it would be an excuse that they would be like you know what we don't believe that but you're here now yeah pretty much I'm like three hours late like it took that long as a camera it broke and then I had to go buy a new one. And then I had to get a hand and iron. And I don't know a seamstress, so I had to Google one. But then none were open, so I had to learn to do it myself. And then YouTube videos are not easy. Exactly.

Mm hmm. What do we? Chronically late Sheriff's Deputy George Mastin, who once turned back his watch to prove that it was running slow, claims that the art of excuse-making is all in the presentation. Quote, always look innocent when making excuses, Mastin advised. We are responsible adults and no one would expect that we would lie, which we would. You have to use a good delivery. I completely agree. I completely agree. You have to lie with confidence. You have to lie with confidence. Yeah. If

you're confident, confidence is key. You have to lie with confidence. Yes. There are a number of ways you can avoid the appearance of being late. Massen has called in a fake traffic stop on the way to work and then drove like a son of a gun to get there. Oh my god. Another trick of the trade, Masson said, is to ask dispatch to run a check for the registered owner of a car. Any car. So they figure you are busy.

That's actually really smart. Van Buren said his favorite excuse is that he has a meeting in the morning and he won't be in until 9am. Sometimes they believe it, sometimes they don't, he said. Mount, who also suffers from the chronically late syndrome, has taken to subconsciously setting his clock back a half an hour before appointments. If I get there 15 minutes late by my time,

which is really 15 minutes early, he said. That's something I should do, actually. That's not bad, but it sucks that everything's like automatic now. Yeah, that was kind of smart. I don't know a war of attrition also can be effective Massen said he has given up making excuses quote because they just know I'm going to be late and code a Local government employee found a surefire way to avoid being late The employee was verbally reprimanded on several occasions after 17 late arrivals in two months. Whoa

That's a lot when when informed that another tardy entrance would result in a written reprimand and perhaps dismissal The employee replied I'd better quit. I can't make it And that's the end I don't know It's a mystery I never know this people The fact that Okay, a lot of this was are like a one-time use and a few of them are more common than others No, I'm gonna use these every day. Oh you I'm hundred percent using the I spotted what looked like a flying saucer and followed on the highway for about 50 miles

Yeah, it was crazy 100% using that I Saw it from come from space That's great And they're gonna be like, okay, here's your write-up. Oh, yeah, I get back in there Alright, well, there's my turn. I'm gonna get back in there. No. All right. Well, there's my third. Thank you. Thank you very much. You're welcome.

Hope you took notes. All right. Yeah, I did actually. Gonna use those in the future. I got six hours to use. Anyways. Whoa, whoa, whoa, you to say that off record though. Yeah, that was off.

Cut it out. All right. Tribune in Des Moines, Iowa on Tuesday April 27th 1965. And you guys want to know what happened on this day? Yes. April 27th 1965. There was something exciting. There was a menace. A menace. Shall I say, a goofball menace. So like me, pretty much? This is about, this article is called the growing goofball menace.

Quote, Benys, Dexys, and co-pilots all have one thing in common. They are all pills that were manufactured for a legitimate purpose but have become a menace through misuse. The purchase of goofballs is virtually uncontrolled when compared to other drugs classified as narcotic. Yet the goofball can lead to the same terrifying ends. Addiction. Crime. And sometimes even insanity. Beginning Wednesday in the Des Moines Tribune, Theodore Berlind brings you the shocking story of this growing American problem.

Don't miss this important three part series. Order. No way. You guys order home delivery today. Okay. And then contact your local representative. And that's it. Okay.

Now, I'm gonna wrap it up with one more story. And this is not from the US. We're actually going to Australia. Okay, this is a newspaper clipping from Australia. It's from the Sydney Morning Herald from Sydney New South Wales and this is from February 24th 1947. And you know I'm sure you would want to read this as well loses to dolphins. Damn! And it continues by saying 3,000 people at Avalon Beach yesterday watched a fight between a large shark and two

dolphins. In which the shark had the worst of the encounter. The dolphins drove the shark in towards the beach and attempted to tear strips of flesh from it in a struggle which lasted nearly half an hour. During the fight, onlookers were thrilled as they saw the dolphins leap clear of the water and then fall back with great splashes. Soon after lunch, the shark alarm was sounded and about 400 surfers rushed from the water. They saw a large shark swimming towards the beach with two dolphins closely pursuing it.

The fight took place less than 200 feet away from the beach. Finally, the shark headed out to the sea, still pursued by the dolphins. You know? Damn. So the dolphins were in like hot pursuit of the shark. Yeah. So, 3,000 people saw this and I was not one of them. Aww. But yeah. That is so sad. people saw this and I was not one of them. But yeah. That is so sad. I mean I guess it kind of just shows you how people are like, yeah like sharks are like the predators of the sea and it's like yeah unless you're going against two dolphins.

Yeah. No and like at first you're like oh yeah hell yeah dolphins chase that shark away but then you realize that like dolphins are actually kind of assholes and sharks most of the time are pretty nice. I mean, I feel like that applies for like every animal, just like humans. Like they're not all assholes, but there is a few that are. True. Yeah, but with that I think we'll wrap it up. Alright. That's all. Thank you for listening once again to Old News Nonsense. See you next time. Thanks Alexis for being back. Yeah, bye!

Bye! Thanks for listening to Chambers of the Occult. For photos, sources, and anything else mentioned during the episode, check out our website at chambersoftheoccult.com. You'll find everything you need there if you do find yourself wanting more. You can also follow us on all of our socials at chambersoftheoccult and on twitter at coto podcast. If you have any questions, comments, recommendations, personal anecdotes or concerns, let us know. Fill out our contact form on our website, email us at chambersoftheoccult.gmail.com or leave us a message on our socials. We would love to hear from you.

And if you enjoyed what you heard, we would greatly appreciate it if you could drop a like, leave a comment, and subscribe. It is absolutely the best way to show your support, and it would mean the world. Until next time. I see you. you