Chambers of the Occult - Old News Nonsense Vol. 8

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

In this episode of Old News Nonsense, we’ve got a wild mix of headlines that are too ridiculous to believe but too funny to ignore!We’ve got a hippo causing chaos on a porch at 3 A.M., two goofy men in bonnets bumbling through a western spoof in Silly Billies, and a fearless rhino wrangler tackling his unusual job.We’ll also chase down two runaway hippos in Texas, attend the kooky Boofari Ball with Halloween fun galore, and witness a 250-pound gal out-sprint a detective.If that’s not enough, we’ve got Herman the hippo swimming 15 miles for love and the terrifying 12-Legged Man-Eater ready to haunt your dreams. It’s all ridiculous, hilarious, and strangely heartwarming in this episode of Old News NonsenseSend us a text

Chambers of the Occult may contain content that might not be suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. Hello. Welcome back. Welcome back to Chambers of the Occult. Old Misdawnsense. Volume, volume, volume. Hello, welcome back welcome back to chambers of the occult old news nonsense Volume volume, which one is this eight eight? Yeah, I'll be keeping up I was in Morocco That's old news Exactly That's old news. I was like a month ago

Yeah, like I was gonna say like six weeks ago Jesus Christ, okay Anyway, I'm Kai. I'm Jay. I'm Alexis And how we got some? Not new news no And it's a bunch of nonsense. You feel you guys have your drink cuz I do What kind of drink I don't I made myself a it's something new it's a Chai tea latte with ginger and turmeric turmeric turmeric Yes

Fire so, you know cold season is here. Gotta keep our levels of immunity up. Is that what we call it? It's kind of warm today and yesterday. I thought you were gonna say. No, no, no, I mean, like, not like cold weather, but like cold flu season. I think that's what I should have said.

Oh, fair enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you right, you right, you right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let us stay healthy. Exactly, immunity. that's what I should have said. Oh fair enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let us just stay healthy. Exactly. It's twilight season. Okay, what is it not?

That is true. You're right, spider monkey. Oh, okay. Okay, I'm gonna move on. Without further ado, let's move on from Spider Monkeys, and let's talk about the Hungry Hungry Hippo. Love that game. I love those.

Yeah. I've never played it. I'm not actually talking about the game Hungry Hungry Hippo. Aw. I'm just talking about Hippos. Okay. No, we love them. So, the first article I have for us takes us to New York.

Well, technically it's, okay, okay. It's a daily news from New York, New York from Friday, October 27th. But what state is NH? New Hampshire, that's not a state is it? Yes it is. New Hampshire's a state Yes. Oh Hell no, bro. Look at my Look at my... Oh my god.

Yeah, New Hampshire. Embarrassing. No, it's fine. I mean, I had to also... New Hampshire is its state! Sorry, if anybody's from New Hampshire. So, these are two short clippings of the same article. They're just from different newspapers. The first one is called News Daily, well,

it's from Daily News New York, New York, Friday, October 27th, 1972. And it says, hip, hip, hippo, hooray. Hooray! And it starts by saying, Meredith Newhamster, October 26, John Smith was afraid to tell police that there was a hippopotamus on his porch at 3 o'clock in the morning.

No one, he thought, was going to believe a call about a hippo in New Hampshire from somebody named John Smith. But it wasn't a prank. from somebody named John Smith. But it wasn't a prank. And then it continues by saying, chased across the deck. Quote, I guess I was about the first guy

to get chased across his own deck at three o'clock in the morning in his underwear by a hippopotamus, he said. The 450-pound baby hippo escaped yesterday from the Animal Forest Park, a tourist attraction, and led police and trainers from the farm on an extended chase. It continues by saying, wallowing in the mud. The first report of the loose hippo came from a resident of the Wares Beach section of Laconia. By the time police arrived, the hippo was gone. And the next call came from Smith, who told the Sheriff's Office, there is a strange,

vicious animal on my front porch and I would like to have him removed. Sure enough, the deputies thought the call was a prank. However, a check revealed that the animal had made its way to a pond and was wallowing there without inclination to leave. At that point, the authorities left the recovery job to the hippo trainers who set about recapturing the animal today.

I want to be a hippo trainer. I'm gonna be a hippo. Yeah, that sounds sick. A hippo trainer. So this is the first of two that I mentioned. The second one, pretty much the same exact same thing. The reason I have two of the same clippings, it's because they both have little cartoons drawn about the hippo. So I thought it would be fun to actually share with you guys and the listeners

those sketches about the hippo. and I will be sending them to you in just a minute so you can enjoy them as much as I did. Moto Moto likes you. Moto Moto lost his kid because this was a baby hippo. I like him big. Oh no. What? I like him big. I like I'm chunky

Chunky Enjoy Yo he's got his dogs out in everything Right in front of him Why do the hippos look like that? Why? You ain't never seen a hippo like that?

That's like... No! No, I have not. So, just so the listeners know, one of the pictures, it's Mr. John Smith, like, on some sort of pole. And then he's having like a thought bubble bubble that says I'm having a nightmare and When I wake up there will be a bear standing there a bear like Like like because it's so big like hippos are huge I think he'd just rather have a bear chasing him than a hippo. I, uh... I feel like bears are much faster than hippos.

Like I know hippos can get really fast, but I feel like bears are much faster. Yeah, see, but this was... But hippos are more ruthless. But this was also like 1972. How much knowledge did people have about hippos? That's true. That's facts. That's true.

I mean, nowadays I would think I would be having a dream if I had a hippo chasing me. That's a good one to say for me. Okay, but have you seen baby hippos? Yes. They're like so cute. Isn't have you seen baby hippos? Yes. They're like so cute. Yes. Isn't there that one baby hippo who's going viral right now?

They have been on my feed for like the past two months. And like that's why I decided to look up hippos. Viral baby hippo. There's a baby hippo? Moodang. It's from a Thai zoo. Yeah, that baby hippo. Oh my god, they're adorable.

There are multiple baby hippos. I have literally never seen this before. Baby hippo? This is so cute. No, this viral one. Oh. Moodang. Yeah, yeah.

Look up Moodang listeners. M-O-O-D-E-N-G. Baby hippo. Adorable. Do you have more to read off, Jay? No, that's it. Just those two clippings. Now I will pass it on to Alexis.

Thank you for passing the baton. Now, the hippo. It's funny that you mentioned New York, New York, because that's where this article is from. New York, New York. There's definitely like a New Yorker who listens, who's listening right now and is like very upset. Yeah, and is so pissed off. Specifically at Alexis' accent. Exactly, yeah, no, that's what I mean.

Yeah, yeah. I hope so. Daily News was the publisher on Saturday, I said September, April 4th, 1936. The headline starts with, Sillyies, proves just silly business. Okay. And it's a movie. Silly Billies. Burt Wheeler and Robert Woolsey are featured in Silly Billies, now being shown at the Rialto Theater by Wanda Hale

I'm gonna send you the picture of these silly billies too because let me tell you They indeed do look silly Okay, okay Here let me send it I'm curious to see us what type of movie Okay, they look like what What was the plot, the genre? It was a Western movie. Let me read you the little description-ish it comes with.

It doesn't really talk about the movie itself. It says, an RKO radio production story by Thomas Lennon and Fred Joel, Fred. RKO radio production story by Thomas Lennon and Fred Joel. Screenplay by Al Boasberg and Jack Townley, directed by Fred Joel and presented at the Rialto Theater. It's oh They're like on their way to California With a group of pioneers After a magic yellow nugget Okay

If I did not think that this was a movie because you told me I would think that it was a fever dream How do you know it's not both how do you think the movie came to be I Don't know imagination from a child Or some like really weird like 40 year old man or something That's how most movies come to be. Yeah, honestly What's the answer I'm finally sending it to you guys, okay It just said and Oh, the tickets were $15 to see it too. That's a lot. Wait, what year was this?

1936 that is a lot of money. Yeah. Whoa. I Feel like it should be typically would be like 50 cents or something like that Was it $15? Are we viewing? I don't know that that's Preview it was a preview That's why like it wasn't profitable because not a lot of people could go Traveling or maybe the rich people good They had those I could go 15 bucks nothing

All right, well that one was a short one my next ones are longer than that but That was pretty much it for the silly Billy. Okay, and then what year did you say it was? 1936 1936 and it was 15 bucks Yeah, okay. I am converting that right now. That's why I'm not got it got it. Oh No, I'm not going that's three hundred and seventeen dollars, holy shit wait hold on that's fourteen dollars. What's fifteen dollars? $339 If I saw it wrong Yes, I am I've I've got I've got

$400 to just drop on a movie. I see 25 easy for a different thing easy Alrighty well mine is a little bit longer Five cents for a different thing. Easy. Alrighty. Well, mine is a little bit longer. And in the same, I really love the fact that, Jay, your story was about hippos. Because mine's about a rhino. Oh.

Which are two very different animals, but they're also like very similar at the same time, I feel like. When it comes to, you know, we consider them both exotic. Like, and big and... Yes, and dangerous. Anyway, my article comes from the Napa Valley Register from Napa, California, Tuesday, September 2nd, 1986. And the title is, Like a Rhino Cowboy.

Yeah! Okay. J.R. Rabinowitz always wanted to be a cowboy when he grew up. Not such an unusual dream for a young boy, except JR was born and raised in Tokyo, Japan. This city boy's dream of ranching in the wild west, though, were kind of practical compared to his eventual career. Somehow JR Rabinowitz ended up wrestling rhinoceroses. As a headkeeper for land animals and hoof stock at Marine World Africa, USA, JR is something of an exotic rancher. He looks after such animals as the rhinos, giraffes, and zebra.

Caring for these animals is much like the work he did on ranches throughout the western United States when he was in high school. He has ranched in other countries as well as the US and is a graduate of the Exotic Animal Training and Management Program of Moorpark College in high school. He has ranched in other countries as well as the U.S. and is a graduate of the Exotic Animal Training and Management Program of Moorpark College in Southern California. Whoa. Yeah, before I talk more, I want to be like, he did work on ranches throughout the Western U.S. when he was in high school?

Yeah, that's crazy. So he was born and raised in Japan, but then he went to the U.S. for high school, and he traveled around and worked on ranches. How did he do that? How? That's pretty badass though. I mean, okay, he is a white guy, so maybe his parents were just like rich white people,

and they like lived in Japan for a bit, and they like moved away. So I'll send this article, you guys can see what he looks like. Anyway, it continues. There are differences between caring for wild animals and domesticated animals, however, JR said, as he toured the giraffe barn at Marine World last week. A giraffe barn looks just like any farmer's barn along dozens of country roads, but it's much, much taller.

Like most wild animals in captivity, the giraffes are very particular about their environment. Quote, the consistency of routine and the fences which keep the public at a distance are important to their security." He said. You can come right up to that fence, get really close, and they don't mind a bit, as long as you don't go on their side. Wild animals are not necessarily unhappy in captivity, according to JR.

The notion of a free animal is a completely human concept. Out in the wild these animals have many restrictions. On their habitat, food, territory, they have different restrictions in a park or zoo, but we can still meet their physical and psychological needs. The tens of thousands of people who come here would never get to see these beautiful animals otherwise. Okay, I like that.

Me too, actually. One proof of the animals approval of their environment is breeding. Marine World has already had several births at the Vallejo Park site, including two tiger cubs, one zebra, a chimpanzee, and several goats and sheep. Nice. This is such a diverse, like, zoo. Like, what? The sheep seem out of place. Yeah. Well, it's called Marine World.

In Marine World Africa. But they have tigers, zebras, chimpanzees, goats, and sheep. And then the rhino on top of it. Oh my god. Even the rhino pair, which have been with Marine World for over 14 years without so much as a twinkle in their eyes are getting frisky, he said. Ooh. Rhinos, said JR, can look pretty dull.

Usually they just sort of plod slowly around their enclosure and look back at people, but they can be alarmingly dextrous and run with surprising speed. Treating a rhino's minor medical problems is done only with the animal's consent, JR joked last week while playing saline solution to the female's eye. JR and his colleagues spoke constantly to the rhinos in a soft and reassuring tone while they were in their enclosure. The rhino said quietly during the procedure and as a

reward, JR scrubbed her dusty hide with a stiff brush. They love this, JR said as he carefully jumped up on the rhino's back. Since the rhinos have limited vision but excellent hearing, they are easily startled. The massive animal blinked, her expression changing from mild interest to complete bliss. Getting up here is easy, he said. Getting down is the tricky part. Got it. And that's where it ends. Like it. Thank you. Wow.

Got it. And that's where it ends. I like it. Thank you. Wow. And the, it's fun because there's a picture of like, uh, JR and there's one of him on top of the rhino. Um, I don't know, rhino cowboy. Rhino cowboy.

Anyway, that's my story. Thank you. Thank you. Accident on. Thank you. Well, and I love how you actually just covered rhinos and cowboys and more animals, because I have another story about an exotic animal. That's the theme for today, I guess. I guess so. Yeah. It could be the theme for me, maybe.

Yeah. For you too. And this one is from the Brazer Sport Facts Free Report from Texas. And it was published Thursday, December 29th, 1977. And it starts with the title, Hippo Hunt, No Hoax. More hippos. More hippos. And it says, police dispatcher Francis Shaw was calming me, calmingly sipping a cup of coffee at 540 a.m. when a man named Gilbert Ryder called up and reported two hippos

loose in the yard across the street. That's right, he insisted a big hippopotamus and a little hippopotamus huddled together in the trailer park space. Uh, Ryder said that he heard his dog sparking eagerly in the morning, so he woke up to see where they were making such a ruckus. And they were two hippopotami. I called the sheriff dispatcher since, um, since it's the county, um, and told her about it, Sean recalled.

She asked me what I was drinking with my coffee. The Houston Zoo, it turned out, was shipping the hippos to a carnival, and they apparently got loose from the crate during the delivery. from the crate during the delivery. Sean believes- No way. Sean believes that they were on route to a couple near Perlin named Miller, who kept animals in their land

for carnivals during the winter. So, rarely it's a compliant complaint filed about animals that the police and the public forgot that they... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What am I reading? Hold on. I think it's just the old font that throws me off. Fair. It's hard to read sometimes. So rarely, so rarely it's a complaint filed about the animals that the police and the public forget that they are there, she said. the animals, that the police and the public forget that they are there," she said. The sheriff department called the Houston Zoo and asked them to send them a team with

a tranquilizer gun to subdue the heavy animals. And the crew was dispatched shortly before 8am. Four hippos were rounded up in all. Two grown ones and two babies. So there was a total of four. A zoo officer said that they had never traded a hippo before and apparently weren't careful enough about providing a strong crate. Yeah, if you would think. Later in the morning, Ryder walked into the police station and said,

I just wanted to prove that I wasn't drunk. And that is all. That's it? Yep. Okay. Great way to end it. So, if you see a hippo, make sure that you're not drinking. I'll be extra careful around hippos from now on. I was already planning on it, but I'll be extra careful. I mean, one hippo got out and then four hippos got out, so for big animals, they're quite stealthy.

hippos got out so for big animals they're quite stealthy yeah they are i mean baby hippos are like really cute so like they might be stealthy by like by like catching you off guard because like you could be playing with like a what if you were playing with a baby hippo and then all of a sudden just like bit your finger off like chomped your arm off. Yeah, well. Yeah. I don't know if it'll be like big enough to chomp your arm off, but. But it can definitely injure you. I mean it can, you never know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You never know.

If you ever see a hippo or a rhino. Call it in. Yeah, yeah. Call it in, yeah. I don't know what you're gonna tell the guy. I was gonna say like be careful, run away, Run towards it. Re-evaluate where you live to be seeing a hippo or a rhino in the wild.

Scream. And also, email us. Yes. Yeah, let us know your encounter. What of course after you're after your safe like yes Cool Alexis, what do you have for us? Mine seems so silly compared to you guys. Okay, because the hippo on the list is not silly. That's literally the point though.

So this one was published by the dispatch in Moline, Illinois on Tuesday, October 6, 1981. Also, before I explain this, I just want to say I made a dumb dumb and it was not $15. It doesn't say the price. I was reading a different newspaper clipping. I was actually reading this one. What? Got it. Okay. So for the movies, people didn't pay $300. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. OK, so how much did they pay? What? It doesn't say.

OK. Yeah. But. This. Article talks about the Bufari Ball to award costume prizes. You can scare them silly. How would you like to be the good witch of the West? How would you like to be mistaken for Dracula?

You can be anyone you want this month. It's time for Halloween and costumes. That's the theme for this one. I'm not going to read the entire thing just because it's too blurry for me to make out every word, but it goes on to say, and it's time to carry out your wildest fantasies and costume crazy statement at the Bufari Ball, October 24th. And they actually, it was like a charity thing. It was really cool. It was sponsored by a zoological society.

Nice. Cool. Zoological. Yeah, there you go. So some animals mixed in there. Some animals in it. The Niyabi Zoo Society is what

sponsored them. And tickets were $15 per person. So this is where the $15 came from. Okay. Got it. And may be reserved by calling 788 4602. Okay, um, God may be reserved by calling seven eight eight

four six zero two so if you guys want to Go back in time and go to the ball. Yeah Call that number. Okay, okay Sounds good Dialing in his phone right now I'll let you get another result. They offered a casual buffet too, plus snacks and drinks. Music for dancing and listening will be provided by the famous Russ Morgan Orchestra.

You think that, you know, or 300, you get something similar to that. Yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Well, this is 1981. Not 1930. Yeah, it was the $15 tickets, right? That was in 1936. Oh, okay. That would have been converted.

$15 tickets in 1981 is still like a decent amount. Yeah, well, let's see how much amount. $51.95. Yeah, 50 bucks is still a lot for... That is still a lot for a party? For a little party to go dress up and do stuff? I mean, that's not bad. It's not bad. Okay, well, they had apparently a thousand or thousands of black and orange helium filled balloons.

Kinda sounds like the Balloon Fest 86 to me, if you feel me. What is that? What is that? What is the Ball balloon fest of 86? Last week Oh lassoed these nonsense with the balloons that got set off Last week Oh last old news on sense with the balloons that got set off No, it was the bonus case Alexis covered oh

Okay, okay I Wasn't sure if you were being serious if you were being sarcastic, but either way I loved it who have been sarcastic, but either way, I loved it. Yeah. No. My bad. I said balloon fest out loud, and then I realized the story, but I thought it was old news nonsense.

I forgot it was a bonus story that Alexis... You're good. ...covered. Anyway, Alexis, there's a balloon fest in... Is it a gym? No, it's not a gym fest in, is it a gym? No, it's not a gym. No, but it's just in somebody's house. It's in, you wanna know that, oh, actually, no, nevermind.

It was- Were you gonna give out the address? Uh, oh yeah, nevermind, I probably shouldn't do that. I mean, I've given out the address in my like stories I mean, yeah when their articles from like a hundred years ago, like I don't think it actually matters. Yeah, you never know but They had so those thousands of balloons they had pumpkins a Halloween mural a spook house with ghouls goblins witches And that's it a Halloween mural, a spook house with ghouls,

goblins, witches, and that's it. I was expecting more. Yeah. No. It's still cool. It is. I thought it was really cool. No mummies. No mum, well, there's a woman in the picture.

How, What? No. I don't think those like those really like correlate. Alexis. What is what? I'm going to tie you to the millions of balloons from the balloon fest of 86 Goodness gracious, okay moving on Give the balloon to Kai Yeah, yeah, thank you. Thank you. Not too many of them though. I don't want to float away All right daily news New York, New York, whatever the fuck that accent was.

Sunday, June 13th, 1937. This one is like kind of bad. And you guys don't know what I mean. Fat cop Um, and you guys will know what I mean. Uh, fat cop loses rings to 250 pound gal. What? That's the name of the article. Wait, what? Get owned.

I hope this was for like a charity or something. I Yeah Mrs. Francis Collins a sprightly gal of 250 pounds Waddled to victory yesterday in a special spring that word to describe what a woman does. I know you're reading an article, but I'm like, ah, that is not okay to publish nowadays. This is not my article, people. This is from 1937. Waddled to victory yesterday in a special sprint event for fatties on the smooth marbled track

of the Pennsylvania station rotunda. A bad second at 230 pounds was Detective Lawrence Klein from Pittsburgh who was placed in a downright embarrassing position for lack of the necessary turn of speed. The hefty detective and his bulky traveling companion were en route to Pittsburgh, where the 50 year old Mrs. Collins was slated to face charges of grand larceny and jumping bail.

If anyone of her size can jump anything. Yeah, this article is crazy. if any one of her size can jump anything. No! Oh my god! Yeah, this article is crazy. She had waved extradition after being arrested at the Hotel Chesterfield, 130 West 49th Street. Klein looked up from counting his change at the ticket office in the station to behold Mrs. Collins sprinting, so to speak, across the crowded rotunda. He pounded after her, but she imposed an unfair handicap by

dodging into a woman's room. By the time Klein had wound up the courage to follow her, she had lumbered through a side door leading to a taxi cab stand. She dipped. She did. She really he did she's out Do this article is crazy Like and she was mrs. Collins sprinting so to speak across the road That's crazy like the shade Like who wrote this article?

I need to know. I need to congratulate them. Anyway, that's it. That's what it sounded like. Yeah. That's crazy. Wait, was that it? That was it, yeah.

Okay, so, and she's off. I guess so. I don't know if they found her. I don't know if they caught her. I don't know if they caught up or anything like that, but um Chis in the story. Wow Thank you, Jay Well, my last one is also about something big.

That's crazy. That is crazy. And you said that me saying waddled was bad. That's crazy. No. Hey, hey. It's about a hippo. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Not about a person. I can describe a hippo as big. Go on. This one says, see, oh, this one is, let me tell you where it's from first before I just jump into this thing. Yeah, let me tell you where it's from first before I just jump into this thing. Yeah, let me know. It's from the Progress Clearfield, Pennsylvania from Tuesday, March 28th, 1967. And this actually takes place in Laguna Beach, California. So the title says, Sea Swimming Hippo Lured Home by Love. Oh, that's a love story.

It's a love story. Hippos deserve love. Laguna Beach, California. No one knows why Herman the hippo left home. Most people guess he swam nearly 15 miles into the ocean before turning up Monday at a health spa for horses. Oh hell yeah, Armin. I know hippos can swim, but like that much?

That's crazy. Yeah, I was reading this as when I'm like 15 miles, just I'm like, I'm surprised the hippo didn't need a break. Yeah. It continues by saying, but everyone knows why he went home. Lisa, the elephant lured him. Oh, the elephant.

Yeah. Herman, all 15,000 pounds. God. 15,000, 100 pounds. I had been missing since he wandered away Friday night from his beachfront cage in Huntington Beach, north of here. He had been appearing at a benefit carnival. Police, his owner, Gene Holder, and friends couldn't find him. They theorized that Herman, who often was taken for an ocean swim, took an honor on Monday, Connie Hendricks let her bulldog, challenger out for an airing at her thoroughbred sea spa,

a health resort for race horses. Yep. I want to know what that's like. I also want to look at it. I mean I'm sure that like someone that has a racehorse pays lots of money for their horse already. Yeah. Yeah.

Like a spa for them. Yeah. It's not out of the question to be honest. No definitely not. And then a quote from Connie. She said, In just a minute, Challenger came rushing back in, so I investigated, she said. I found Herman in the big swimming pool where we conditioned horses. It was evident Herman had breakfast on the horse's hay and then went into the pool,

which is filled with seawater. I locked up the horses so they wouldn't get frightened, Ms. Hendrick said. Then I called the police. They found Herman's hoof prints leading from the ocean to Mrs. Hendrick's spa. Owner Holder was relieved. He can swim like a fish, he said, but I was worried that a shark might attack him. Holder first thought he would rope Herman, but Herman remained submerged in nine feet of water. Then Holder led Lisa, an elephant Herman's age, four years, and his childhood sweetheart to the edge of

the pool." So this is where Lisa, the elephant, comes in. Okay. She's back. Yeah. Holder bought them as babies. Herman from Africa and Lisa from India. I had only one heated stall so I put them together, he said. They've been inseparable ever since.

Holder thought Herman would come out of the water voluntarily as soon as he heard or saw Lisa. Speak, Lisa, Holder commanded. Damn. Come on, Lisa. Speak, Lisa, Holder commanded. Damn. Come on, Lisa. Speak, woman. Yeah, basically. The energy it gives. The elephant glared at Holder and then let out a trumpet. Herman, however, remained submerged. Three times Lisa was led into the chilly water,

three times she scrambled out. Just as everyone was about to give up, Herman's head popped up. Lisa plunged into the pool. The pair frolicked in the pool. A hippo in love. Finally, out marched Lisa. Herman followed right into their cozy van. Herman had come home. The end. That's cute. That is very cute. Yeah. I didn't realize that a hippo and an elephant could fall in love. Hippos are usually afraid of elephants. That's why. Are they? I didn't know that. Well, I mean, they're also like infant child best friends. Yeah.

That is true. Like they grew up together. Yeah. That is true, like we grew up together. Yeah. And once again, hippos are big animals and they're getting out. So, maybe that could be your next excuse for work. There was a hippo on the road, on my porch. It happened, dude. Alexis, what do you have for us? I mean, it did happen, multiple times.

Alexis, what do you have for us? I don't know if it's necessarily an animal. Is it a gremlin? It is a man eater. So this is published by the Sioux City Journal in Sioux City, Iowa on Sunday, June 10th, 1917. Avoid a 12-legged man eater. Hold on, wait. I have to send it to you guys too

because there's a drawing for it and it's amazing. No, not really. It kind of looks like. Yeah, because you're so well-legged, but you also said man eater. So I was thinking of like a praying mantis. No, it looks really looks like a log to me with legs on its backs and, you know, walking on that. Yeah.

And then a tail. Yeah. Hold on. Sorry, I'm being so slow. But yeah, so it starts off by saying, avoid 12-legged man-eater. An important contribution to our knowledge of natural history has been made by the discovery of a remarkable animal with three sets of legs.

That's crazy. Three sets. Did you guys see the photo? Yeah. It looks weird. It looks like a log to me. I don't know. It does look like a log. It looks like an animal stuck in a log. Yeah. Like a log of wood.

Do the chmambers. I see it. Wait, I don't see it. I do see it. We'll see it. No, I don't see it. What? Forget it, just keep going. See it. Okay. So, um, so it's, it was found exclusively in the wildest and least accessible parts of the coast range in California and reputed a man eater it is known as the wind tosser what I see it

now elaborate if you can W H I N T O S S E R wind tosser wouldn't toss a so when not like wind tosser not wind tosser tosser A name the derivation the the rid of the word the origin of which is uncertain Though rare the lumberman of that region have long been acquainted with it. But the first scientific description of this strange creature is given by Mr. William T. Cox, state forester of Minnesota. So these people are coming from all over. Yeah, State Forester.

The wind tosser's head is fastened to its body, not in the ordinary way, but by a neck that operates in the fashion of a swivel. A swivel. Swivel. Yeah. So likewise, it is with the short tapering tail and both head and tail can be spun around at a rate estimated at 100 revolutions a minute. And the body is something that would be like in the mystery shack. Something that was just glued together.

Fags, yeah. Something made up. Probably if it is, yeah, just like a story, somebody. Yeah, like take like a couple like trophies of animals and you glue them together to a log Yeah Like Minecraft I don't want to get away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids And their dog

What dog okay Oh my god. And their dog. What dog? Okay. So, the body is long and triangular in section with three complete sets of legs. Quote, this last, end quote says Mr. Cox. Coke is a great convenience in an earthquake country. If the floor suddenly becomes a ceiling, it does not matter for the wind tosser is always there with the legs. Okay.

A cat's nine lives are few compared with those of the wind tosser. The beast may be shot, clubbed, or strung on a pike pole without stopping its wriggling, whirling motions or its screams of rage. The only successful way of killing it is to poke into a balloon pipe so that all its feet strike the surface, then it immediately starts off to walk in three different directions at once and tears itself to pieces. No, this is- End quote.

And that's how you kill it? That's it. Dude. That's literally it. That's gruesome. You literally make it tear itself apart. You know what this is? This is a family of beavers that got stuck in a log. That's what it looks like.

Oh my god, yes. That's actually what it looks like. That's the beaver tail at the back? One of the tails. One of the tails. Yes. One of the tails. Wow. Oh my god. And that is the only picture of it. The only sketch of it.

That's the only picture of it. It's not even a picture, like it's a sketch. Yeah. Something was like high out of his mind when he thought he saw that thing and he like sketched it. Definitely. They're like, I gotta tell the, I gotta warn people. He's like, this is crazy.

Revolutionary. Warn people they did. Yeah. I gotta warn people. He's like this is crazy Revolutionary. Warn people they did. Yeah, he did. He did his due diligence Anyways, that's the 12-legged man eater. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you The wind tosser. The fuck does that even mean? Yeah, wind tosser. Anyway. He tosses wind. Um, my next one is our last story today is the, it's from the post star from Glens Falls, New York, Friday, May 20th, 1988. Another New York article.

Okay. And this one is called, Bimbo's Nothing Like Its Title. How does a nice girl from Cincinnati with an expensive, tasteful education, bachelor's of fine art and sculpture from the San Francisco Art Institute, master's in directing from the New York University Graduate Film School, get mixed up with a movie called Assault of the Killer Bimbos. Because Empire Films, the outfit that gave the world space sluts in the slammer. Oh wait! Wait, let me write that down.

The Empire films wanted somebody to direct a movie with that title. And because Empire didn't particularly care what the movie was about, as long as it had that title. Okay. And because the Empire people had seen a couple of the kooky short subjects Anita Rosenberg had already made, modern girls get tuxed. Quote, the movie is really nothing like its title, quote, Rosenberg says. It sounds like it will be one of those typical TNA male movies, but it's not.

What Bimbo's is, according to those who've actually seen it, is a sorta hip, funny, good-hearted, all-girl road picture in which three women who don't look bad in bathing suits, Christina Whitaker, Elizabeth Caten, Tamara Souza, two of whom have been framed for a murder they didn't commit, haul buns for Mexico, picking up three cute surfer guys, Nick Casavetes, Griffin O'Neill, and Jamie Bozian along the way. Bimbos, Rosenberg says, treats its ditzes with dignity. They're smart, they're fast, they're funny. And that's it.

Okay. They're smart, they're fast, they're funny. Would I watch those movies? Yes. Yes. I would. Will they admit to watching those movies? I actually have not looked up, I'm gonna look up assault of the killer bimbos right now. Yeah, you should Like we looked up the one of like the white rabbit 1988 film

That's crazy Okay, I also need to look up. What was it space sluts and actually I'm not gonna look up space sluts in The Slammer. I don't think I really wanna know what that movie's about. What? Valid, valid. It's like as you're looking it up. I'm googling it. You're looking it up?

No, no, I said as you are looking it up. No, I'm not. And it's called Space? Sluts in the slammer. Yeah. Yeah. A real movie is not coming up. Yeah, but you actually look it up. Yeah, there's a similar one called Sex Sluts in the slammer, but not space. Ah, okay, I'll watch.

Maybe the article got it wrong or something then. Or maybe they did that on purpose. Hahaha. Wait, video 1988. People don't need to look this movie up. Oh, 1988? 1988, that is the year, so maybe it's just recorded differently. It is, 1988.

Yeah. They probably weren't allowed to put the word sex in those papers. Honestly, yeah. So they were allowed to space instead. But I would watch Assault of the Killer Bimbos. Honestly, yeah. But I would watch Assault of the Killer Bimbos. I would as well, actually. We should watch it. Or to watch Crackle, Fubo TV, and Tubi TV.

Okay. Crackle and Tubi are free with ads. I thought it would be harder to find. No? That's crazy. Movie night. It has a 29% in tomato meter and a 44% in popcorn meter. Do I know what those mean? No. To A-list movie. But I'm sure that a listener out there knows what they mean.

there knows what they mean. Anyway, make sure to check out Assault of the Killer Bimbos, listeners. Apparently it's a great movie and it's nothing like what the title suggests. So... No, the pictures of the girl skydiving. That's sick. So that's what I'm like, okay, I need to watch this. No, I feel like it'd be really fun actually. Well thank you Kai. Yeah, thank you guys. Expanding our cinema.

That's what I'm here for, right? Yeah. Expanding your horizons. That's what Old News Nonsense is all about. So thank you for tuning in Thank you, and we will see you next week for full chambers of the occult I need like a spacer space or gun sound effects reason. We have nothing to do with space, but it's what I think of. Nothing at all!

Alright, that's great. Well, thanks for being here once again. Have a good one, guys. Bye! Thank you. Thanks for listening to Chambers of the Occult. For photos, sources, and anything else mentioned during the episode, check out our website at chambersoftheoccult.com.

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